The Poole Telegram. — 1884-10-03 (Poole, Dorset, England)

FROM MISS TO MISTRESS. She who fails Mrs. t ) change for Miss, Hu Mr. chance of wedding bliss. But she who changes from Miss to Mrs. Ras solved the Mry of kisses. When a Miss Mrs. to kiss a Mr It. A Miss is Maid in model n history. Tho' a Mi.., 'tis said. is 1111 good as a mile, When a Miss misses Mrs., Meters do smile.  A St. Catherine's (Canada) jury of twelve enlight•ned and thinking men, who were called to judge the facts of a case wherein a murder hal probably been done—its victim a woman—same to the fore with the conclusion : Died by the vioitotion of God under suspicious circumeta- ces. Mr. Whackem, a flory schoolmaster. loot another scholar yesterday. Tue class Was parsing a sentenc.. What is the inoperative of the verb to go ? said %Vattern Co Johnny Frittshop. I don't knoet. 0.1 I shout Wackena. Thank you. sir. replied Johnny. an i he wee two strcets off before the teacher could catch his t.r -nth. Flunkey: I het your par lon. sir, hut there is one thing T ehoula like to mention at once. lam afraid—a—that lam expected to clese the boots? Geatleman : Bless me, oh. dear no! There most be some mistake. I alwaye clean them myself, and if you will leave your shoes outside the door I will give them a polioh at the same time. A scientist says that the reason kissing is so pleasant is because the teeth, jaw-bones, and lips are full of nerves, and when the lips meet an electrical current is generated. He should explain why it is the electric current dors hot work when he kisice his mother•in.law ti please hit Wye. Science cannot iiPaet our relioious notions about kiesinz. Whi-n Robert Had, the celebrated preacher, •as much pressed by a minister Who had been holding forth before him, and who had accompanied him into the vestry, to say what particular passage he moot admired (in the discoerse). the wit at length r•luctantly disposed of the Importunate vanity by saying, the pa-sage from the pulpit to the vestry. The young lady who badly wounded her arm with a pin white euabrecing • female friend a few daye ago has no doubt been taught • wholesome lesson. G r:s might embraca gentlemen friends all day without scratchint their arms with pins. Men don't wear pins about the x lent, perhaps, old bachelors., who, when a total collar butt n flies off, are obliged to utilise ea, pin in its steed. But girls are not expected to hug old bachelors. lii d'acuesitig the nuther-imlaw querVon, the 13J13tJa Transcript calls attention to the fact that there was one married man who never had a mother-in-law. Ilia Dame Was Alan;, an iJO hadn't heen married twenta our hours before be got into trouble. If he tad had a mother-inilaw she would have kept • close watch over t re apples and neitber Eve nor Alana would have g.t a chance at lien. What cAoured frame will you have. ma'am ? inquired a shoPlinen of A lady who had called to have her prospective bu.baners picture fremed. Will. you ought to know to ire about it then 1, wss the lath's r«p'y I want a sr t .ill In .tch the pc ult Or. ciiur-i's ma lin, said the dealer, selet'iing one from the large aerortamt. How would a green one do? Tnat man has never dificoverad to this day •hy that woman got out $o quickly, learbg the door on a wide jar.  rOacm and with fore fl P ing brtc (very Ow Oat 4 thin to 'MI Po  owing to a c!tied  flee malt: ~:tdy, ,tlJ_to £  WI Ntli II att trade Wa The ptie .Cl 6 10A fat w, th, 91103, 101 RATII (  which so ND 'taco  G •CE mod. Tate F. ign Spinz C  _ v. ry to 344 pe 3s u to 4  met a  "6 GI IA evws aml  supply uf fur %flea' pr.C.24 altatt:or  404 per ( 21s ; peas Cos A 811°11,111z I Spptembc bi 10d.  co .sidcra however,  fate ratc.i  decrl ti and trade top fior  nwre 'Co•A ,t 9 Fr In 2n 1,1 tt 21 to 6 to 53 01.  Mins improves inactive. hell rs when sal, (Actors d Amer:can the wel Iwilan 1( unalterel  deel exp,etvkl, Ry wI  ai 1 r ‘pc•  METF'.OI end of I pie: tiftd, by the c ditto, 3 43 5d to t03i61; to 53 Od Bkeond d  We an the whe quate, al fh L'l at  neco,,l; to be "1 abroad again 1 r,garde , t