Brighouse & Rastrick Gazette. — 1890-09-20 (Brighouse, West Yorkshire, England)

HIS PORTRAIT.  Artists do not always devote brush and pencil to the portrayal of the beautiful; sometimes those potent in struments are turned into weapons which may reasonably be feared by evil-doers. The follow. ire adventure is told by Mulready, the artist: One bright moonlight night, in my student days, I was walking in a street on the outskirts of London, little better than a country lane, when a man came out of the shadow thrown. by a large tree, and, producing a pistol, addressed me in the usual robber fashion with: "Your watch and money, please ! " "I am a Door a Ilia." aairll. "Sec. are  env drawings. nave no watch; I nave never peen ether() buy one." . . .  "Your money, then, and be quick !" All this time I was watching the fellow's face; it was very white, and I think he was more frightened than I was. I gave him all the silver I had about me; he said Good-night," civilly enough, and started off towards London. _ _ _ _  I made the best of my way home, and before I went to bed, I drew the man's face very carefully. The nest morning, I went to Bow-street with my drawing, hoping it might be recognised by the officers there, but no! The face, they said, was new to them.  _ "If you will leave the likeness here, sir, said the chief detective, "we may, perhaps, come across the person it represents." That very soon happenedi, a fortnight had scarcely passed before I was called on to identify the man who hail robbed me. He had been arrested for murder, and was easily convicted.  A grandfather,about to read his paper, found that he had mislaid his spectacles, and thereupon declared: "I have lost my glasses somewhere, and can't read the paper." A little three-and-a-halfyear-old girl, desiring to assist him, answered: 61Van'pa, you go outside and look froo ze window, and I'll hold ze paper up so you can read it."  One day when Lillian was scarcely three years old she made up hor mind to run away, and go to see her little cousin, so when the others were all too busy to notice her, she slipped out of the back door and started up the hill near the house, but very soon came back, crying bitterly. Her father met her at the door, and asked why she did not keep The little girl answered betw..en her sobs: 'Cause I met a wasp coming  Angry aavertiser: it you tnink I'm going to pay you for this ad. you're mistaken." Clerk: "What's the matter with it? " " You promised to put it next to reading matter, and you've got it right alongside a column of poetry." A well-known Irish judge is reported to have said of a personage who had an apparently congenital indisposition to deviate into veracity, "I only onci knew him to speak the truth, and then I could tell it by the natural embarrassment of his manner."  The following specimen of English is to be found in a shop window in the Rue de Rivoli, Paris: "We affirm on our bills of parcels than every panel, without exception, is an oil-painting. Those panels, -wing of our making, not any house may give them so cheap " The latest of " Monty Williams's" stories pays a tribute to the caustic wit of Serjeant Ballantyne. "lie never speaks ill of any man," it was casually remarked of a leader of the Bar. "No, of course not,' rejoined the Serjeant, promptly, "for he never talks of any one but imself." -  The- conversation was about bishops, and one fervent dame said: "How good the dear Bishop of Peterborough is ! What a good man!" Instantly a gentleman replied: "There is no merit in that. Bishops ought to be so. They get five thousand a year for being good, while we are expected to be good for nothing—and most of us are."  A