The Halifax Comet. — 1893-01-10 (Halifax, West Yorkshire, England)

PENNY. s • " 1 V.'  £lOO .mminlinr  manager had stated with roundhand emphasis, " that's all we can give fon, advertisementa is such papers as yours—you make folk so nervous, they can't hear the groom's whip crack without jumping from their seats into the arena, after reading your embellished (Scrat forgot the exact word here) murder tales r Neither had Fuss much head on that morning, for he had farther information that the round-robin was making steady progress:2*d been signed by three or four dozen r readers who were now sworn to do all in their power to suppress the Ademon News. On Coolie's arrival the others laid aside their troubles, but could not finite resume their usual good temper, but in a manner more forcible than polite invited him to at once state his case. "Well," proceeded Coolie, "I found lasi evening, beautiful, wasn't it, quite helpful to the development of the scheme, to whiah I may as well admit, Fussum's speech. yesterday gave me the cue. It was just that time of evening when, as Milton says, one wanted bringing "To arched walks of twilight groves. And shadows brown, that Sylvan loves " the very time of eveninq when one could muse successfully," continued Coolie, who had dropped into one of his sentimental moods, from which, however, heg was very quickly shifted by Scrat, who, though himself at timed terribly moonstruck, was far from it on this occasion "In short," put in Scrat, "the very time of evening when the fried fish shops begin to smell, and," chimed in FUNS, when the bell for 'peas all hot' begins to tinkle." These interpolations effectually quenched Coolie's poetic effusiveness, and he proceeded plainly enough with his new proposals. "Well, to start afresh," said Coolie, "I propose to get the murder wound up as quickly as may be, not so rapidly as to look white-feathery, but sharp enough to save the few remaining shreds of the circulation." "Quite right," put in Scrat "It shall be done, and done rightly," responded Fussum. "Then, my do-or-die move will depend for itasuccess upon the unblushing impudence (of which I trust there is enough amonst us) with which we operate and depredate with a Kodak Camera which must be at once procured," said Coolie to the others, who followed his words with breathless interest. "By hook or crook, that camera must be carried at all hazards into situations of no matter what privacy, into houses no matter whose, into every nook and corner where a keyhole will give a view of any subject, no matter what, at all hours of the day or night no matter when, and everything we 3  set out to picture must be pictured, no matter how" Coolie paused for breath and the other two utilised the interval by indulFing in a couple of winks each, to relieve their distended eyelids. "But," gasped Fuss, "we shall be getting into trouble, hotwater, writs, law, horse-whippings for being in people's private rooms under suspicious circumstance& Oh! horrors ! the idea is monstrous." "Yes it is," said Sera!, "but if it'll pay, we must AA all other features. We have got the paper to a point where something's got to be done and done now, and I shall go in for the whole scheme and what's more I'll undertake to run the Kodak myself for a week if you two will write up the matter and look after the reproduction of the pictures in the NetoB." "Done 1" said Fuss, who saw if the worst came to the worst, some ohanoe of id as at getting to gaol first whilst he himself might be left with nothing worse than the defen4e, along with Coolie, of sundry writs by the aid of a bankrupt newspaper. And so the scheme was adopted. For several days an astonished public gazed upon the most ' impious and impudent pictures and articles dealing with all sorts of matters of nothing but the most sacred privacy, views stolen from all sorts of coigns of vantage, in cisterns, closets, from garden walls, in wardrobes, and in short everywhere. Then the public turned round, and all classes joined in denouncing both the paper and its impudent owners Its creditors rolled upon it, the public wouldn't support it, no advertiser dare use it, on pain of losing his custom, and thus the grand Oonp devised by Coolie proved the paper's quietus, for in a few days later it failed to appear, its proprietors disappeared, nobody shed a tear and thus ended A