Blandford Weekly News. — 1889-01-12 (Blandford, Dorset, England)

LORD. 8Y1191.1.  Where was Lord Byron buried? Are there any memorials erected to his memory, if so, where ? JEFFRY, Wareham.  5 craps.  "'Tis love that makes the world go rouud." Yee and 'tie revenge that makes the world get square. "But, my dear fellow, youl are young lyet, you will marry again." " What ? relight a half-smoked cigar? Never !"  The politician who places himself in the hands of his friends is apt to realise afterwards that he ought to have sewed up his pockets first,  An Alabama man has patented a scaffold on which to execute murderers. He has the spring so arranged that they can touch it themselves, and therefore meet with no painful surprises.  An Indiana Justice of the Peace threw a case out of court. Then the plaintiff threw him out of the window. Then he threw the plaintiff into jail. Hints are thrown out that the end is not yet.  A Canadian says that the word toboggan is properly pronounced wi:h the second o long. If this rule is enforced about a million toboggan poems will at once be knocked into a cocked hat.  When cayenne pepper is higher than Scotch snuff the snuff is used to adulterate it. When the reverse is the case the pepper goes into the snuff. It's a poor rule that won't work both ways.  Henry Ward Beecher is of the opinion that a woman who deserves hanging should be hung, the same as if she chewed tobacco and wore suspenders. The trouble is to get one of them to deserve hanging. A clerk who had been employed in a Providence Store for seventeen years owned up the other day that he had been stealing for sixteen years and ten months. His conscience got to troubling him at last.  If all the wealth in this country was divided up per capita, as Socialists and Anarchists hanker for, none of them would have enough to keep them in idleness six months. As it is now they loaf the whole year 'round.  A St. Paul man offered to stake his wife in a game oalns,okvieornagaii)nustt rhOenin Icyncey..Thoe osteheer strtywairetde released all claims to her for seventy-nine cents and a jack knife.  An agricultural paper figures it that " when land is worth $2O an acre, one glass of beer at five cents would represent a piece of land nine feet wide and twelve feet long. Room enough to bury the whole family in."  General Boulanger, the bellicose French Minister of War, frequently refreshes himself while engaged in a fierce debate with drinks of sugared water. A man who can thirst for gore on a beverage of that sort must be a born tiger.  Among the novel toilets worn by ladies at a recent Washington reception was a white dress worn by an admiral's daughter, the front of which was hung with golden bells, and another was embroidered with a flight of golden swallows.  Mark Twain is said to have a million dollars safely invested in such a way that he can't be taxed a red cent on it, and his wife can't marry again if he dies and enjoy a dollar of it. He isn't funny any more. He doesn't have to be.  Folks dat is aline or tallon' erbout de wolf in sheep's elothin' doan 'peer ter know dat we sometimes finds er sheep in wolf's elothin'. De kindes' hearted man I eber seed had or face dat would skeer or ha'f grown boy putty nigh ter death.  The Emperor of China is the shortest monarch in the world, being only five feet tall; the Emperor William of Germany being the tallest, being just six feet; Prince Albert of Germany, nephew of the Emperor, M six fest six inches tall; the Emperor of Russia is nearly six feet.  At Barton Landing, Vt., a man is in business whose cards reads :—" Druggist, taxidermist and telegraph operator. Dealer in drugs, medicines, dyes, stationery, paints and oils, perfumery, toys and fancy goods. Birds and animals mounted to order and for sale." He is also a newspaper correspondent.  A