The Potteries Examiner : — 1873-05-10 (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England)

MISTAKEN IDENTETT. Man On fidgety more: "Gently, old lady! Gently! No hurry " Stout lady, crossing the ride Who are yon calling me' Ohl lady,' I should like to know. I don't intend to hurry, I can tell you! "—Punch. A rumour is afloat, but we cannot trace it to its source, that a healthy young sea serpent is expected at Whitsuntide at the Brighton Aquarium; and that at the Crystal Palace an elegant chamber (in the Pvcckoco style) is in preparation for the reception of a mermaid of prepossessing appearance and fiwcinating manners, now on her voyage to this country from the Cannibanna. lien Sees.—Punch. _ .  A project is mid to be on foot for forming a company to supply the streets at the West End of London, during the season, with scented water. The carts are to be elegant and ornamental in their structure, to revolve on noiseless wheels, and to be fitted up with an ingenious musical apparatus, by means of which a selection from some favourite opera will be given each morning. The drivers will be hubited in tasteful uniforms.—P sash.  ..... When three Irishmen dug a ditch, for which they were to receive four dollars, the trouble was how to divide four amongst three, and have it equal. One of them remained quiet, and the other two at hest de- : ferred to his judgment, as he had been to school, and knew arithmetic, to make the division. He did so at: once, saying, "It's airy enough! Shure there's two for you two, and two for me, too" " Begone," said owe of his co-labourers, " what a great thing it is to base Naming!" "And, said the other, as he pocketed his single dollar, "am! to know arithmetic, too! It's the like of no two'd never divided them four dollars equally." Sheridan went to a hair-dresser to order a wig. On being measured, the barber, who was a liberal soul, invited the orstor to take some refreshment in an inner room. Hue he showed him so much genuine hospitality that Sheridan s heart was touched. When they rose from the table, and were about separating, the latter, looking the barber full in the face, said, "On recollecting, I don't intend that you shall make my wig." Astonished, and with a blank vissage, the other exclaimed, "Good heavens, Mr. Sheridan, how can I have displeased you " "Why, look you," said Sheridan, "you are an honest fellow; and I repeat it, you shan't make the wig, for I never intended to pay for it. go elsewhere." ..  WHAT KeILLED HIM ?—A few years ago, when Judge Gould, lately deceased, was holding court in the city of New York, a pri,oner was being tried before him for wilful murder, in causing the death of a man by a pistol shot. An eminent surgeon was called as a witness for the defence. The prisoner's counsel, an adroit lawyer, attempted to show that the man, who lived some little time after being shot, might have died from some other cause, and examined his witness after this style " Doctor, would not such and such a thing canoe sleuth P" "06, yes, to be sure." "Well, doctor, might not this man have stied from such and such causes ? " Oh, yes, he might." "That is quite sufficient for us," exclaimed the defendant's eonnsel, with an air of triumph, twirling his eye-glass. Judge Gould turned on his seat, bent his isenetr.ding eyes full on the witness, and said, a little too sharply, "Doctor, you have now told as what might have caused this man's death; now will you be so kind as to tell me what ahr cause his death ?" "The bullet," answered the witness. This ended the case.