Brighouse & Rastrick Gazette. — 1893-08-05 (Brighouse, West Yorkshire, England)

NOT WHAT HE WISHED FOR.  What we wish and what we want are sometimes very different things. Here, for instance, is a story—taken from the Chicago Herald—of a boy who wished for a half-holiday, but as his Sather knew, was not really in want of it:  When I was about 11 years old,l one day rebelled fuming, (mine to school. I orPferrPd the hook ana  line and tne Damning brook, ann I mud to father— & farmer—at the dinner-table, "Can't I stay out of school this afternoon? "  "Oh yes," he answered, promptly,to my no small surprise.  Cate my dinner with keen anticipations of a jolly afternoon; but as we rose from the table lather said," Come with me. I need a little help in picking up the fallow ground." When the trees of the forest were felled, they were cut into logs,rolled together and burned, after which it was necessary to pick up the charred sticks, and make smaller heaps for another fire. When father said, "Come with me," I knew what he meant, and I went.  . --At night I was black as a neg,ro and sour as a lemon, and the next morning I said, "Father, I think I would rather go to school to-day." "All right," he answered; "go ahead," and after that I was careful not to ask for a holiday without some very good reason.  "The verb to love, indicative mood, present tense," called the teacher. "I love, thou lovest, lie or she loves," said the little girl. "Ile, she or it loves," prompted the schoolmistress. "rt can't love anything," pleaded the pupil, and the teacher, suddenly struck with a new idea, simply replied: "Gm on."  Five-year-old Mary had fretted and made herself generally disagreeable, and at night her older sister put her to bed with a feeling of relief. "There, child," she said, as she kissed her good-night, "I hope you won't be so cross to-morrow." Mary had curled down under the blankets, but at this speech she sat upright again. "I notice," said she, "that when it's me you say cross ' wh :n it's you, you say ' nervous.' "  Mrs. Portly Pompous: -1)0 you understand how to cook properly ?" Bridget: "Indade, mum, I do. The perlaceman who used to call on me in me last place was a regular epicac." _ _  Old lady (in court-room): "What a murderouslooking villain the prisoner is! I'd be afraid to get near him." Her husband: " 'Sh! That isn't the prisoner; it's the magistrate."  "Why didn't you come when I rang?" said a lady to her servant. "Because I didn't hear the bell." "Hereafter when you don't hear the bell you must come and tell me so!" "Yes'm."  He: "Do you believe that the rain falls alike upon the just and the unjust?" She: "No. I'm a heretic to that extent. The unjust generally have a monopoly of the available supply of umbrellas." Had good eyesight. Business man: "Hello, Central, give me 1,206." George (a office): "Hello. Is that you, father ?" Business man: "Yes. 'Fell Jenkins to step to the telephone, I want to see him." Mistress: "I should like to know what business that policeman has in my kitchen every night in the week ?" Cook: "Please, mum, I think he's suspicious of me neglectin' me work, or somethin'." Mrs. Larkin: -I want a little money to-day, Fred." Mr. Larkin: "I'm very glad of that." Mrs. Larkin (surprised): "Why are you glad ? " Mr. Larkin: "Because you generally want a good deal." "Miss Carson has a wonderful memory for faces, no matter how long since she has s en them." "How do you know ? " "I was with her yesterday shopping, and she recognised the cashboy when he brought her change back."  "My wife is a kind and considerate woman." "I am glad to hear it." -She never calls me a fool, as some wives call their hubands." "No ?" "No. she never goes further than to say, John,l believe you're half a fool.'  An empty epiitle.—Wife (at the seashore): "I have just got a letter from George." B Order: "Did he send you anything worthy of note,a.ey money?" Wife: "No. Ile only sent his love to me and his regards to the landlord."