The Potteries Examiner : — 1879-02-08 (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England)

QUIPS" BY "QUIZ."  A well-known sanctimonious individual of Hanley emerging from the railway station, on Monday, was asked by a half-starved little waif, whose bare feet were painfully conspicuous, to "Buy a time table, sir." "Boy," said he of the lean and sacred visage, if you'll only commence now to sleep with your feet out of the window you don't know bow hardened they'll get before the lot of April." The boy innocently looked up, and, after a pause, inquired "Didn't you try that same 'speriment on your countenance some time ?"  "The Mayor of Burslem," sorrowf Idly remarked a man in the Waterloo Road one day this week, who had been footing it about for four hours trying to borrow some money, "has an infernal , sight more friends within easy reach than I have." And he wept afresh as he thought of the middle of next week, and wished he was in it.  _ Teetotalism v. Tee-tipple-ism. Sebeting— very !  It was on Monday morning, The witching hour of two, When the good wife looked out of the window, "Sammy," said she, "is it you?' "You hie —bet—chn," Says he," Are you—hic—livin' here too? " Then she hurried her down the at iirway, And she collared him by the mane "Now, where have you been till thia hour % " My darlin'," said he, "I'll 'splain, " I've—hic ! jist got— Got home on the Sunday train." Then she pulled eut his hair by handsfull, And twisted his nose a tweak. And batted his ears with slipper s, Till he wasn't able to speak; "You scoundrel ! "It isn't 'train Sunday' this week '  There are " Drs." and " Drs."—" Dewdrops" and Cough Drops, the latter being a Silverdale gentleman, from whose surgery window can be seen the spire of St. Luke's Church, which like a ghost haunts him with the the memories of the past. How many times has the "Dr.," robed in white, read the grave stones by the light of a lantern at noon of night, and how many times has he sat upon the wall of that churchyard with a dish of spirits of wine and salt blazing hear to the horror of belated pedestrians, who shall tell T'was not long ago, having painted the mercy seat" in black and white, and seen seventeen packmen passing down the back yard, so enhanced with its appearance as to fall in succession "packs." and all over a heap of coals, that he retired to his room muttering, 'The hardest work on resurrection morn will be for some of the old sinners to get out of their graveholes and read the epigraphs on their tombstones," when a lover of the liquid like himself thundered at the door for medicine. The Dr." descended in his night shirt, filled a huge lwArle from a rain tub, and put in 3 grains of burnt sugar, writing on the label by way of 'dir,etions." Life iz ii kandle, and the slower we burn it the longer it will last. If yu are in a hurry to burn it up. he wun end by folly. t'uther end IA dissipashun, and set it in the breeze ov licentiousness." It is a fact that the "Dr.," who is a notably clever man, in this case elle,ted a cure, and did not charge even a Brown for the job.  What stories they are dishing up about that surly old burglar! We shall be told presently that Peace is the Great Ceram-street murderer, that he atole the Dudley jewels. passed 88 a nobleman, and lived in ParkAtne, where he entertained the Prince of Wales, that he exhibited the missing ainsbor 3ugh openly in hie dining-rocin. Wane they are about it. the,/ may as well mate