The North-Eastern Weekly Gazette. — 1888-09-08 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

THEY SLAPPED BACK.  Two mothers sat opposite each other in car on a l)fichigan Central train going ta Toledo the other day. Each had a baby shoal a, year old, and each baby came in fOr a share of the admiration of the passengers. Thu seemed to make the mothers jealous, and after thinking the matter over for a while, one of them leaned across the aisle and said— "I feel it my duty to tell you to go into ths car ahead with your child, as mine has tin whooping-cough." "Oh has it? Thanks for your kindness, hut mine is all over the whooping-cough, adi is now coming down with the measles. Perhaps you had better go into the car behind :"  THE SELECTIONS DID IT  Brave Stranger: hand,;ome house ?"  " What is the rent of thti  Honest Agent : "It is for rent for a sor to anyone who will take it. The house haunted."  "Pooh. I'm not afraid of spooks." " No tenant has stayed there over one night since a murder was committed in it. They say the racket raised by the spirits is fearful, bowls liii the air, chains rattle, dreadful spectres flit about—" "They can't scare me." "But tenants complain that th 4 furniture is knocked about and broken." " I'll risk it." " And the piano is played by uneen hands."  " Whose h-ands?" " The hands of the woman who was kifleL They recognise her by the fact that the tuces were her favourite show pieces, • :\laiden's Prayer," Silvery Waves,' and ' 13oulaNer "  " I ain't afraid, but show me some otl house."  CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCI  Tlic following story is told of a couple of Gotham lawyers, well known in Troy.. who went down on the evening trains, one from the North Woods and the other from the Berkshire Hills, and met on the deck 31 the steamer shortly after she had left bet dock. '  "Hello, Brown," said Black, "glad to E,a you. Got a room ?" "Half a one," replied Brown. "The othef half, judging from an overcoat and satchel I found there, appears to be occupied by soV, old hayseed, who will probably snore night, and make life miserable for me " Just my case," returned Black; " should imagine, from his effects, that room-mate is a tramp." "Such being the state of affairs, so: we see if we can get one of the rooms toge  and let the farmer and the tramp occupy  other," said Brown. "Agreed," assented Black, and they started down to the purser's office and ,tated their grievance. The purser looked carefully over his books, and then remarked, with assumed gravity— "l am sorry for you, gentlemen, but. 5A Mr Black appears to be already sharing Mr Brown's state-room, and vice versa, I will LA) unable to do anything for yon." Mutual apologies followed, and when quiet had been restored Brown accounted for ths seedy appearance of his belongings by ev plaining that he had driven several milet that morning througt mud, and Black IsiA the blame for his rusty-looking bag on bil wife, who had mended a broken strap with 2 hair-pin, and then they went to their re' and sampled a portion of the contents of 1,00 bags.  Cadbury's caution the Public ag adulterated Cocoas, sold as pure Cocoa,' about 4 per cent, cd alkali and other up, added, to give apparent strength to the making it a dark colour. This addition 10,0, tented by the scent when • tin is tresMy N 2 Cocoa can be stronger than cadburfg, wh:. guaranteed absolutely Dore—envy.  Printed for the