The Sun. — 1863-11-17 (London, England)

JANET'S RIDE AND PERPLEXITIES.  I listened to all this, and to much more of the same kind with the vague feeling of elation that very young people have when their elders first talk to them on an equal tooting. When I was dismissed at last with the six Wynne dinner napkins to darn, I sat down to my work with the conviction that I too, as well as Hilary, had taken a step forward in life that day. As I sat at the window, straining my eyes, weak-sighted like my father's, with most elaborately careful darning, I built a castle in the air, in which I saw myself the central figure of the family, the confidant of my mother, the guide of my worshipping sister, the helper of father and brothers, the mainspring of the house. I was to be very humble all the time, and people were to wonder at my goodness and usefulness. During the last darn, I settled that my personal appearance should prove by no means so plain as my mother Mrs. Wilton anticipated. Just as I had finished, Neste, who had been following my mother through the house, came in to help me to fold the napkins, and discovered that I had darned them on the right, or rather on the wrong side. I had taken extreme pains with the darning, and done it, as Neeta affectionately pointed out, beautifully, but it had not occurred to me that it signified on which side of the cloth I put my work. It nad, of course, all to 'come out again, and I never shall forget the expression on my poor mother's face when she found us pulling far larger holes in her beloved damask than those I had originally offered to mend. For the moment, I think she despaired of me, and seriously in her heart wondered what bad end I should come to. I know I was thoroughly frightened about myself, and suffered for an hour or two such remorse as I have heard murderers described as feeling. I sat all the afternoon in the window-seat, my eyes too much inflamed with crying to be capable of accomplishing any more fine darning; while Neste sat at my feet, swiftly with her deft fingers repairing the mischief I had done. She was almost as full of remorse as I was. "It was all my fault, Janet," she said again and again. " I wonder how I could leave you for so long, when you had such difficult work to do. I ought to have run backwards and forwards between mamma and you, to look after you both. It was so very thoughtless of me. I might so easily have put the work into your hands the right way, and then you would have done it beautifully; better than any one else could. You do everything beautifully, dear, only you want me just to look after you a little at the beginning and at the end. Why should you cry about that, Janet? I shall always be near to do the little easy things that it would be a waste of time for you to do." Nesta's longing to be useful was certainly of a different kind from mine; it never occurred to her to make a picture about it.  I allowed myself to be comforted at last by her praise and fondness, and the work was finished and put away. As the evening closed in, my mother joined us in the window, to watch for my father and brother's return from the schoolhouse.  There is a cause for their anxious watching. It is the day of the groat school examination, and all the family have one wish that Hilary, the eldest son, shall gain the scholarship. We'cannot do better than give another passage from this same chapter :—.