The Sun. — 1829-01-13 (London, England)

ECCENTRIC DEFINITION.—A Correspondent remarks, that the persons who can strictly be termed lineal descendants, arc those who terminate their mortal career at the gallows, or the drop,—it being an indisputable fact, that they descend in a right line.  A blockhead rubbed " his thoughtless skull" for a thought in vain. Two wits observed him. " Come Tom," said one, "a genius should never be at a stand.", " No," quoth the other, " why, even the sun was brought to a stand-still once." " Yes, but it did not cease to shine," replied the former.  A certain General was asked, what sort of a military commander be thought Joseph Hume, Esq., M.P., would make. He replied, " Hume would most likely imitate -his countryman Graham, who said, "Don't waste your powder, my boys, bnt give them the steel," though he would most likely prefer saying "lend them the steel."  The Paris Papers of Friday state that a fire had broken out in the hotel of Mrs. Crawford, in the Rue d'Anjou, which bad consumed a great part of her magnificent gallery. It was with difficulty that any of .the pictures were saved from the flames. From the want of water at first, the fire extended rapidly, and it was only after three hours' hard labour of the engines, that it was subdued.  A widow hath alwaysbeen a mark for mockery, a standing butt for wit to level at. Jest after jest hath been huddled upon her close cap, and stuck, like burrs, upon her weeds. Her sables are a perpetual " black joke." Satirists—prose and verse—have made merry with her bereavements.. She is a stock character on the stage. Farce bottleth up her crocodile tears, or labelled' her empty lachrymatories. Comedy mocked' her prococious flirtations. Tragedy even girdeth at her frailty, and twitted' her with " the funeral baked meats coldly furnishing forth the marriage tables."— Cumbrian.  The late Mr. Sergeant Lens used to tell, with great glee, the following anecdote of his Learned Brother of the coif, Mr. Sergeant Hill:--" Having business to transact with him, he went to his chambers, in the Newsquare, Lincoln's inn, and found him with the bookcases, tables, chairs, and carpet, on one side of the room, while the other half of the apartment was without a single article. After the usual greeting, ' Pray,' said Mr. Sergeant Lens, what do you intend to do with all the furniture arranged in this strange fashion?' The Learned Sergeant replied, That since half his chambers had been found to stand in the parish of St. Clement Danes, he bad formed this encampment on the side of the room belonging to Lincoln's-inn, to prevent the officers from distraiuing his goods for the poor-rates.' At a future period, Mr. Sergeant Lens visited his brother in distress,' as he homourously called hint, and actually found the officers in the apartment (having effected an entrance through the baCk windows), and his Learned Brother daring them to touch his goods out of the parith,"'iltb.boinidary of which he had carefully marked on. the The officers were so intimidated at the threats,. that they never again molested the Learned Sergeanti who continued to, reside in the chambers without paying any parochial dues."  We have been informed that, in the course of last summer, Burke made an attack on an unfortunate girl in St. Cuthbert's entry, at the head of the West,Port, evidently with a murderous intent; but she managed, to escape his clutch, and fled for shelter yo the watch-house. She there :LAO, that a man had seised her suddenly by the throat, but that her screams made him quit his gripe. The description she gave of the assailant exactly corresponded with Burke, who was not known to the police personally, and search was made for him, but he bad left town. The affair, at the time, was only regarded as one of those indi,;r 'ties to which abandoned females are exposed ; but there cannot remain a doubt now, that it was an audacious attempt on the part of Burke to secure a victim. Observer.