The Potteries Examiner : — 1880-01-03 (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England)

THE F,ND ON TIIE PLOY. And is the farce of life nigh over; The laughter and the dancing done?  , -replied that it was the "lay of the last minstrel," and that the composer WM singing in honour of her production in the fowl house. A now, six years old, living on Murray Hi% having been much lectured by his father on the baby ishne,s of crying when any calamity happens. cheered the paternal heart the other morning by saying, " Harry B. cried nearly all dav 'cause hie father died ; but if you should die, pa, i ;wouldn't cry a bit." A FRRNCII paper reports a murder trial in which a witness testified that he heard two pistol shots on the staircase, and sent his wife to are what was the matter. ''o Did you not F. up the stairs yourself?' oskid the Court. "No, sir," replied the witness, "I wets afraid of the revolver." A NOTKD politician was once asserting his entire indifference to the opinions of his opponents and to their personal abuse. " Why," said he, "a time likened rue the other day to Judas Iscariot, but I stint care." "Yes' said a byetander, "but how does Judas feel about it?" " Joitar," said a poverty-stricken man to his son, "Foe made my will to-day." " Ah !" replied John, "yea were liberal to me, no doubt." "Yea, John, I mine down handsome. I've willed you the whole county of Yorkshire to make a living in, with the privilege of going elsewhere if you can do better." LORD STOWELL used to boast that there was nets eight in London he had not seen, and, according to a current story, he had seen some more than once. Ile was paying his shilling to see a new mermaid, when the man at the door, apparently ashamed to sliest so good a customer, refused to take the mone:., "\', no, my lord only the mild soysarpent." A ULACKSMITII was summoned as in witness in court in a case between two of his workmen. The judge, after hearing the teetimony, asked him why he did not advise them to settle, as the costs had already amounted to three times the amoun of the disputed sum. Ile replied, "I to-t-ld the foo-f fools to se-e-tile, for I said the co-o-onstable would ta-k-he their meta, the lawyer's their sh-ir-ts, and if thev got in your Honour's court, you'd sk k-kin 'mu." ACTORS have to undergo snitch that tries their patience at times. Mr. Dillon was playing at Drury Lane one night in " A Winter's Tale.' In the second act, scene third, when Poulica enters with child, sonic wretched man amongst the gods, who wee evidently able to ventriloqui*, made the infant--who it is needless to say was dummy—appear to cry, and then, to add insult to injury, yelled out from his place of vantage to the unfortunste player, "Why don't you take it up and nurse it, Char Masa is sonic humour in Texas. The other day a man brought out a forlorn, epovined-looking steed, and addressed the spectators stein: " Fnituse eirisena this is the fatuous horse Dandy Jack. Look at him, lie's perfect. If he were sent to the horse maker nothing could be done for him. What shall I have bid for the =strides, steed?' " What will you take for his r yelled the crowd. '• Two hundred dollars." •' Clive you 85," " Take boo, I never let 13195 stand between me and no horse trade. That's business." lit Austin almost everything is plastered over With big patent-medicine advertisements. In the courtyard of a hotel there is a hig cistern, and on it is an advertisement in letters a foot and a half long: " Smith's Diseased Liver Remedy." A stranger front the North saw the hotel clerk draw a bucket of water front the cistern on whAii the above sign was }thawed, and then he said, as though to himself, " rye heard it WM sickly in Austin, but I never expected to see people draw oft their medicine by the bucketful," Tuntit is real Yankee humour in the card pest.,l in the observatore Cu the top of Mount h'eartaree, announcing that visitors are riviested not I,) write or cut on the structure. It whit, " Writing material, and sticks foe whittling will be furniebed on application at the °Mee."  EPP6'SI OLTeIitINI J tOrass. CAVitoN. These effective and agreeable confections are. sold by most Chemists, by others, however, attempts are often mita., at mbstitutiou, we therefore deem it necessary to caution the public that thee can only be obtained in boxes, ed.., mid Is.; labelled '