The Poole Telegram. — 1883-02-02 (Poole, Dorset, England)

INVALID'S NOTES.  Didn't feel np to the mark I Didn't know exactly what was the matter with me, but had a strong disinclination to get up in the in irning, and an overpowering desire to go to sleep in the afternoon. Was generally depressed, and suffered from forebodin;.o of immediate evil which were never fulfilled. Had an idea that the world was against tee in general, and that no one would mourn over my approaching death, but wonld dismiss the subject summarily, not to say with a light heart. Consulted my Doctor. lie sounded me, and said there was a harshness of breathing, and there was something not quite right Itt the bottom of my left lung. I thought so. I had felt it coining on for a lone time. I have always known that my life would be shortened by lung-diaoaae, and I proceeded to relate several aueodotes of bronchial affections In our family, to which truth compels me to state my Doctor did nut even pay that attention which common politeness demands. Ile said there was no ground for uneasiness. Of course, not for him; but if lie was suffering from my complaint he wouldn't take such a cheery view of the case, lie advised me to lay up for a bit, to keep warm, and avoid night-air. It is very easy to boa Doctor.  Laid up for a week, kept warm, and avoided night-air. Didn't feel any better. Grew more depressed. Found myself spending hours before the looking-glass, gazing at my tongue. Couldn't sleep except at wrong times, such as between breakfast and lunch, and was seized with a wild pension to go to bed at five in the afternoon. This Insomnia leads to madness, and I told my doctor of several eases of raving insanity which adorn our family history. lie ham probably never had any lunatics, except himself, in his family. as he poolipoobed the notion, aod said that want of sleep arose solely from biliousness. A coarse, common train of thought. The drop from incipient Insanity, about which there is something heroic, something connected with old rod-brick mansions and wainscotted parlours and clanking of chaitie, to biliousness, which is nothing more or less than over-eating and drinking, is as (ruin murder to petty larceny. Probably if convicted of both I should prefer to be sentenced for the letter; but I had begged my insanity—my picture of an over-wrought brain --to may broa4, and I wile sorry to part with him. The doctor kept on declaring that there WM really nothing the matter with me, hit that I was low, and required much nursing; and it's a wonder he didn't add petting. He gave me tonics, which, for complete removal of apretite, were, I should thick, unequalled. Making no progress one way or the other. Got tired of laying up and keeping warm and avoiding night-air. Went out for the first time to Theatre. Smoked cigarettes, which I am strictly forbidden to do, in draughty passages, which I am expressly ordered to avoid, and drank brandies and sodas, whkh I am commanded to shun like poison, between the Acts. Pouring wet night, awl no cabs to be got. Walked from Theatre to Club in thin clothes and shoes. Got soakwi. Drank more B. and S. 'a, and smoked more cigarettes, at Club, and game home, wringing wet, in a very slow, stray hansom. Felt chilled to the bone. Did this with variations for a week, then sent for my Doctor again. He said I was a little below par, but that my lungs were all soiled and well. Laid up for a month. Put myself on a strict diet. Kept in a room with a constant temperature. .Tonicked myself vigorously. My appetite returned. I felt wonderfully well. Sent for my Doctor. Said there was no absolute danger, but both my lungs were congested. I felt delighted that I had really got something tangible the matter with me at last.