The Northern Guardian. — 1892-12-27 (Hartlepool, Cleveland, England)

GRAVE AND GAY.  Tim best of all companions is a simple frank man, without any high pretensions to an oppressive greatness; one who understands lifts, and understands the use Of it; Obliging alike at all hours; above all, of st good temper, told steadfast as an anchor. For such a one we gladly exchange the grenteet genius, the most brilliant wit, the profoundest thinker. A Boy's first bet—Alphabet. Tile Key-Note Pitched gather Low—" Wife, lot me in. Wily is a drawn tooth like a thing no longer remember. d? llecaliss it is out of your head. Ting following strange story has been well authenticated: During the assizes at Exeter, Sir James Dyes, Chief Justice of the Court of Common Pleas, presided at a trial for murder. The evidence left no doubt of the guilt of he man in the dock. To the great surprise of the judge and the FOAM the jury acquitted the man. So utterly wrong appeared the verdict, that it is said the jode called the foreman of the jury to his private room to ask him on what grounds they had discharged thy prisoner. The foremen said : " I am going to tell you something which I wlsh you not to receal for three days." The judge agiented to this. " Well, eir.' continued the foreman, "I am the man who committed the murder. It was not the man who we. tried this morning. From knowing all the circuoiatanc‘s of the Case, I-pointed out to the jury various discrepancies in the evidence, ' and got t Leto to bring in a vertio tof nut guilty. Tomorrow I leave for America, but make this confession to you in case anyhody 'is" should he charge with 1 this murder." he was tiot heard of avAin. It is said by some that the real IDDICIPror zot himself placed on ' thejnry purposely to acquit the man charged with his crime. IN the old church at Manchester, now the cathedral, the marriage ceremony is. or woe, performed by wholeitale. Some years ago, when the Rev. Joshua , Brooke, a well-known chaplain of the foundation, had I offleiated for some thirty or forty couples together, two or three unfortenate wigh:s would come up to him with the grievance, "Plese, master, I've got tie I wrong wenA I" His reply was always reassuring— " Well, we'll, lade and lasses, pair as you go out, pair se you go out, rest it at whom " (right it at home). Wrists Dr. Franklin applied to the King of Prussia to lend his c,sitanee to America, "Pray, doctor," said the vetiyan, "what is the object you mean to attain ?" "Liberty, sire," replied the philosopher of Philadelphia, "liberty ! that freedom which is the birthright ot man." The King, after a short pause, made this memorable and kingly answer: "I was born a Prince ; I am become a King; and I will not use the power which I possess to the ruin of my own trade." Ax a school-examination recently the inspector put the following question: "On what side of a jug is the handle placed ?" The boy standing " dux" said it was on the right side; but, on being asked to prove it, it was found that he could not. The second thought it was on the left side, but he likewise could not prove it. The inspector passed round the class with- , out getting another answer until he came to a bright 1 little fellow at the foot, who exclaimed, "Why, it's on the outi,le !" He got the err ,!ieute. Ton late Mr. Bush used to tell this story of a brother barrister: As the coacli was about starting before breakfast, the modest limb of the law approached the landlady, a pretty quakeress, who was near the are, sod, said he could not think of going without giving her a kiss. "Friend," said she, "thee must not do it." "Oh, by heavens, I will !" replied the barrister. "Well, friend, us thou haat sworn, thee may do it, hut thee must not make a practice of it." STANDING before mi elcr,gyrnen who was about to marry him, a N:stic was asked, " Wilt thou have this woman ?" Sic. The man stared in surprise, and replied, " Ay, surely! Whoy, I kummed a myna!" FARB (noticing the decoration) : 'Oh! so you belong to the Blue Ribbon Army !" Cabby: "Ye., sir, I wear the ribbon. It inctoocee genlemen to temp' me with a drink, which I generally 'weep's, sir!"