The Barrow Herald and Furness Advertiser. — 1880-03-20 (Barrow-in-Furness, Cumbria, England)

WILLIAM KENDALL. P.S.—Dou't fail toreport at once." whether committed by twelve jurymen or an humble The Chairman said this case now resolved itself in his individual like my client. Gentlemen, Ida not deny judgment to a veiy simple question. This letter the fact of my client having killed a man—no suc clearly indicated that up to the time of this cow being thing, gentlemen ; you may bring the prisoner in sent to Barrow it was by no means clear she was inguilty, the hangman may do his duty—but will that fected by pleuroloneunionia. He thought it would excuse you ? No.; in that case you will be murderers. turn out there had been sufficient precautions exerWho among you is prepared for the brand of Cain to cised, although no doubt a wrong step was taken in be stamped on his brow to-day 2—who, freemen?— the cow being sent to Barrow. Perhaps in this poeiwho in this land of liberty and light ?—Gentlemen. I tion Mr. Jackson might admit certain things, and thus will pledge my word not one of you has a bowie knife. simplify the case.—Mr. Jackson said the position, so No, gentlemen, your pockets are odoriferous with the far as Mr. Patterson was concerned, was this—that he fumes of cigars and tobacco—you can smoke the : received the letter now in the hands of the Bench tobacco of rectitude:in the pipe of a peaceful conscience; must before dinner on the Thursday, and he only but hang my unfortunate client, and the scaly ' waited to get his dinner, and then came alligator of remorse will gallop through the internal to Barrow, and gave notice himself to Mr. principles of your animal viscera until the spinal Barker. This, he considered was reporting vertebrte of your anatomical construction is turned the case with fair dispatch, and any damage into a gigantic railroad for the grim and gory goblins likely to arise had then been done, as the animal was 1 of despair. killed and out of the way of harm.—The Chairman , • Gentlemen, beware of committing murder. 1 asked if the witness recommended that the animal Beware, I say, of meddling with the Eternal Pre- should be slaughtered.—Witness replied that Mr. rogative ! Gentlemen, I adjure you, by the menu- Patterson seemed very anxious to know precisely what nutted ghost of temporary sanctity, to do no murder was the matter with the animal, but he could give him —I adjure you by the name of wonaan, the main- no definite information as the disease was not spring of the ticking timepiece of Time's theoretical sufficiently far advanced.—The Chairman : Did you at transmigration, to do no murder—l adjure you by any time pronounce definitely what the disease was? the ' American eagle, that whipped the universal —Witness: No.—Mr. Jackson: You say you could game-cock of creation, and is now roosting iu the not say what it was.—Wituess : No. I might have magnetic telegraph of Time 'e illustrious transmigra- called it something and made a mistake.—The Chairtion, to do no murder! And lastly, if you ever expect man: If the disease was developed it must have beea to wear boots made of the free hide of the Rocky improper to. slaughter such a cow—Witness: Yes. Mountain buffalo—and, to sum up all, if you ever The cow was in a very nice store condition. An expect tobe anything but sneaking, law-flung, rascally, ordinary observer would scarcely have noticed she was braided small ends of humanity, whittled down into out of health at all, as she was quite fresh and bright, indistinctibilty, aequit my client, and save your ' only she had not been feeding quite so well, and she country.' The prisoner was acquitted." was breathing rather more quickly than usual. She coughed but once while I was in the place twenty e minutes.—The Chairman said that-section 31 said that