The Herald of Wales. — 1890-03-01 (Swansea, West Glamorgan, Wales)

ILOW A BOILER FELT BEFORE I/  EXPLODED.  IA boiler which has received the gift of speech writes as follows: " It is supposed" (says elan Balaamistic boiler) "that inanimate things car liorcetines speak for themselvea It has bees often aid that what was wanted 111119 the pietas of one of our =umber just before wetook our de. parlors through the roof of our dingy garters We are not supposed to be very &liana I and picture making is out of our Las but I cat I describe to aayone of ordinary intelligence how I I was getting ready for the interesting event. " My master had erected in the beautiful town of a splendid factory, to be run by steam. Everything about the building and machinery wee to be first-clam No enpsno,e was spared to make it a mode: factory and a credit Ito the town and its owner.. The offloe and its engine room were gilded and frescoed and carpeted like a palace car, but when he began to think about me a change came over him—probably he was getting short of change. He sent word to several boiler men to find out what the lowest price would be for a suit of clothes for his new boiler. The cloth here referred to is either iron or steel, and the ruder can draw his own conclusions whether the material was shoddy or the bat stock in the market. The lowest bidder got the contract, and soon 0001. menced to make me feel as though I should go on an excursion in the near future. After getting punched about fifty times in the wrong place, they rolled me up end tried to put me together, but the bed holes made me stubborn, in fact I was mad. I did not like the way they cut the cloth, but I could not help myself; they were getting me all ready for the picnic that was sure be come. At last my overcoat was ready for the riveters. How I dreaded their appreach while thinking of the pain I should have to suffer as a secondary dose to the previoui punching I had received. No power on earth could resat the murderous attack they made on me with bars and drift pins. Even the little rivet boy has to show his spite by burning or routing the rivets so they would go into the bad hole.. In a few days the boas pronounced me all ready for the doctor (iuepector). He showed up after five or six telegrams had been sent. Oh, howl wanted to tell him howl felt! If he only knew how they straightened my bead with long bolts through the tube holes before they inserted the tubes, he would have sent me to the hospital or ecru heap. He filled me full of water and then tried to get in more. This operation made me weep, but he said that I would soon 'take up.' He was right. My intention was to 'go up' at an ally date, cud would probably take up something when I went. The bode offered him some cigars, but he said he did cot smoke. I was always under the impression that inspectors liked cigars, but I waa mistaken. The next day I was taken to the foolery, and my master and the engineer called around to nee me. '1 expected to see a larger boiler than that,' remarked the engineer. 'I bought .that for a seventy-five-horse power,' said my muter. •It is not over fifty, and I don't think it will figure up more than fortyfive,' s .id the engineer. I tdd them they woald think I wee 600-borne power when I was leaving, but I don't think they heard me; but they did later on. It was juid es the engineer had stated, the engine was twice my size. I got completely discouraged, and made up my mind to leave the first opportunity. My only hope was that my master would send some good man to take care of me, and give me plenty of the ineesaaries of life. In this Ira. also disappointed. I was finally attacked with chronic indigestion. This, in addition to my other infirmities, completely discouraged use, and I exploded, after two years use, at 11.30 p.m., while the operatives where at dinner. No paean wu hurt, but on my way out I demolished the engine and took one corner of the mill away. I don't know just how I looked while I was in the air, but I felt very much relieved, and presume that my maater is not satisfied with the, lowest bidder on his en seventy-five-hom e power boiler."—/frappErreesas.