The Sun. — 1870-05-05 (London, England)

WIT AT ENGLISH EXPENSE.  This week's Irishman makes merry at the expense of the English papers alleged to have been threatened by the Fenians. It takes the Times office, with the editor ankle"‘deep in sand, bent over his writing-desk, writing a leader :—" The social state of Greece is such as to preclude further argument with that wretched kingdom. -England must interfere in the interests of humanity and 'civilisation. Not grant an amnesty to brigands !—forbidden by the constitution to grant an amnesty to brigands, ,yet authorised to grant amnesties to political offenders ! ! —to proffer such allegations is to trifle with Great Britain. If the rulers of the country are powerless to prevent outrages at fourteen miles from the capital " -" What's that? A noise ? John, ho, quick, John, quick." John : I'm 'ere, sir, don't be narvish, sir, 'ere you ;are, sir.—Editor : Did you hear a squeak, John ?—John : •A squeak, sir ?—Editor : A horrid squeak.—John: A squak, sir, no sir.—Editor : I'm certain 'twas a squeak, John, are the constables on the alert ?—John (through the keyhole) : Pleacemen, what ho ! Pleacemen, make hanswer and reply, if yer please, pleacemen.—Chorus of police, upstairs and down : 'Ere we are, h-aull right.—Voice in the pantry, somewhat choky : 'Ere I ham.—Echo from the street : 'Ere we is again ; nothing in view but a humbrella and a hold gent. We ave seized the humbrella, but the hold gent is fled. We shall follow soon.—Editor (hastily) : No, no, no, John, bid them remain.—John : Pleacemen 'alt, don't go for to make hoff hafter hold gent. 'Alt and remain, stay where you is.—Editor : Is the coalhole guarded, John?—John :Passthe word to the coalhole, sargint; is the sentry awake ?—Husky voice from the depth) : H-all right. —john :All guarded, sir ; may I shut up? Editor : So, all well as yet. Shut up, John ; nay, stay, put an extra sandbag to the keyhole. Good, standreadynow.— Where was I with my article, oh yes. Shocking state of Greece, shocking. Fourteen miles from the capital. Shocking, shocking (writes) : "If the rulers of the country are powerless to prevent outrage at fourteen miles from the capital, it remains that other rulers must interfere to establish security. There are more murders to the same per tentage of the population in England than in Greece or in Ireland—there are more crimes whose perpetrators are undetected in England than elsewhere— yet it would be un-English not to feel strongly indignant at outrages in—other countries. There the criminals may be refused amnesty, detected, punished—yet we have shewn how we could overlook such an odious comparison with undetected crime in England, in order to pass a Coercion Act for Ireland—shall we be more queasy as regards Greece ? Telegrams tell us the Greeks fired "—starts muttering, " Greek fire "—looks cautiously around, calls John again.—John: 'Ere, sir; want me, sir; shall I write, sir, a little now—you do look done hup.—Editor, cautiously : Did you hear anything like a splash on the roof, John ? John : Splash, sir • no, sir : roof, sir; no, sir.—Editol : Signal, John, signal. John puts his head up the chimney, and is heard with muffled voice calling, Hat-tention, pleacemen on the roof—heard a splash—make hanswer." Withdraws his head. A slight fall of soot. Editor starts again. Voice huskily down the chimney, falls like a falling star. " Hall right, 'ere, again. Sand six inches deep, with our Heye upon it still. One drop of rain fell from the evins which caused the splash." Editor resumes. (Left resuming.)  EFFECTS OF THE PARIS PLOT fN