The Sun. — 1828-11-13 (London, England)

POLICE INTELLIGENCE:  GUILDHALL.  Mr, Dennis Lines and Mrs. Anne Watson, natives of "the Gem," and recently imported therefrom in a Limerick butther-boat, were brought before Sir PETER LAURIE, with their noses well patched, with adhesive plaister, and charged with having broken the King's peace by mutually assaulting each other. " Last night, please your Worship," said the accusing constable, " there was a great cry of murder among the Irish, in King's Head-court, Fleetmarket; and in the house where the cry was, I "found this little man (Mr. Dennis Lines) and this big woman (Mrs. Anne Watson) hard at it, screech" ing and pelting away at each other, and both of them covered with blood. I never saw two people in such a bloody condition; and as I could not prevail upon them to be quiet, I took them to the Compter, where, after-they had been washed, and bad their noses patched, as you see, they were locked up apart from each other, to be dealt with as your Worship may think proper." " Sir," said Mr. Dennis Lines, as soon as the constable had said his say—" Sir, it's meself shall just be afther telling ye the rights of it, if ye'll hear to me kindly ; and not a word of a lie shall I bring to the fore this day, plase God." " Then you are not so particular about telling the truth every day ?" asked the Alderman. " Oh, indeed, but the truth's the truth any day," replied Mr. Dennis Lines, rather equivocally; and then he proceeded with his narration :—" Last night as ever was, blessed be the Lord for that same please your Honour, after I com'd home from my work, 1 was sitting by the fire wid me own wife, thinking about the supper we'd be afther gettin to us—and little enough it 'u'd be no doubt—two penn'orth of trotters, may be, and a hot p'taty or two; but divel a bit of supper I got that night at all ; for, just as we was thinking of it, this lady, Misthress Watson here, comes into me place, and takes up the candle, and looks into me face wid it, and says, ' If I married a man wid such ugly eyes as your',, I'd take him down stairs, and shove him into the dust-hole P says she to me.—" Very well," said I, " you might do that," said 1.7-mighty quiet it was I said it ; by which means idle took the candle into her hand and split my nose into two pieces wid the candlestick ! Indeed she did ;—and here's my nose to the fore to testify the truth of it to your Honour." And so saying, ho suddenly plucked off the plaister, and submitted his cloven snout to the inspection of the Court, adding, as he fumblingly replaced the plait.ter, " I know no rason in life she had to use me so disrespectfully ; far I'd no call to her at all ; only onst, afore I was married, I happened upon a little bit of misfortune by the sister of her." " What do you mean by a little bit of a misforfortune?" demanded the Alderman. " A small child, your Honour," replied Mr. Dennis Lines, and in a very small voice, thereby showing that he bad the grace to be a little bit ashamed of himself.  Mrs. Watson, in reply, denied that she " went into his place with any ill-blood to him in regard of the small child at all ;" but only to ask " would she get lave to put her basket in till morning ?" and that he took that opprirtunity to call her a -, though he well knew she was "as lawful a married woman as ever walked upon two legs. Of coorse I made at him for a pelt wid the candlestick," she added, " but he got from me, and kill and tutted me all over entirely wid it, as your Honour may plainly persave." And thereupon she began stripping the plaisters off her close and forehead, in order that his Honour might judge who had got the worst of it. But his Honour refused to inspect the premises, and dismissed them both, with a promise that if they were brought before him again lie would send them to work together in Bridewell.