The Warwickshire Herald. — 1895-10-03 (Birmingham, West Midlands, England)

MURDEROUS ATTACK ON A WIFE. A factory operative, named William 'Marsden, was remanded at Burnley on Monday, charged with the attempted murder of his wife at Padiham. The couple had been married 18 year, but temporarily separated, and when they again came to live together Marsden appeared to be suffering from depression. There was no quarrelling, however, and after marketing together on Saturday they retired about 10 o'clock. About 6 o'clock on Sunday morning Mrs. Marsden was awakened by a heavy blow on the face, and found her husband standing over her with a hatchet. She seized the weapon, but Marsden resumed the attack, and dealt her several blows, which resulted in her being rendered unconscious. A doctor who was called in despairs of Mrs. Marsden's recovery. The accused was formerly a drummer in the Salvation Army.  Time by the forelock—Doctor: "From now you may let your husband have a glass of beer every day—you understand." Wife: "Yoa, doctor, just one glass a day." Doctor (a week later): "Now, I hope you have kept strictly to that one glass per day that I allowed your huaband to take?" Wife: "Most decidedly, doctor—only he is four weeks in advance with his allowance."  Epicurus: "What's the matter, old fellow ? I never see you dining at Potrosst's now. Isn't everything all right? Isn't the eoaking jast as good, aren't the prices just as ream his as they always were ?" Dyspepticus: "oh, yes, there's nothing the matter with them; but between me and you, I draw the line at waiters carrying the knives scrl fo Ice over their ears like new."  A hint.—He was a lively fellow, and fond of her, but it didn't occur to him that a girl expected something else besides going to places and having fun all the time. "Anything on hand this evening F" he asked, corning breezily in, for the sixth time that week. "Well, no," she replied, hesitatingly, as she loolod down at her empty fingers. She: "It cannot be. lam not worthy of you." He: "Nonsense." "It is true." "Impossible. You are am angel." "No, no, you are wrong. lam an silly girl, utterly unfit to become your companion through life." "This is madness. What sort of a wife do you think I ought to have ?" "A careful, calculating, practical woman who can live or your small salary." Ethel: "So Arthur proposea last nignt r Maim: "Yes." Ethel: "Aad did you accept him?" Maud: "I was so awfully excited I don't know whether I accepted him or not. If he comes to-night I did, and if he doesn't I didn't."  Husband: "Have you done your best to economise this month, Mary, as I requested?" Wife (brightly): "Oh, yes; I spoke to the grocer, the butcher, and the land:ord, and got them to put oft sending in their bills till next month."  • :Nese ermence 18 said 0 have come to hand in th. Maybrick case.  It is reported that M. Pasteur is dangerously ill. The KlO2 of Portugal will shortly start on a visit to Spain, Prance, Engbawl, Germany and Italy. Professor Victor Kydlierg, the Swedish writer and archicologist, died on Baturday afternoon. The British Consul• General at Algiers telegraphs that the Tumour of the outbreak of cholera at that place is al'solotelv groundless, and that the tea Ith of the en". fr i perreet.  She anticipatea mm.—xien ITM! penny tut your thoughts, dear." May Cutting: "Where is the penny? Thanks! I was thinking it was just about time for you to make that very remark.' A.: "Why did Jonea break off his engagement with Miss Oldacrea ?" X.: "On account of her past." A. : "What was the matter with it?" X.: "Nothing—only he thought it was too long."  Schoolmaster: "What is your father?" New boy: "Dead." Schoolmaster: 'No, no! What was he?" New boy: "Burled." Schoolmaster: "No! licfore that. I mean?" New boy: "Alive. sir."