The Northern Guardian. — 1894-03-07 (Hartlepool, Cleveland, England)

AMERICAN HUMOUR.  New HAVEN has a barber's shop for women only. Miss ANNIE Si LvilsTEß, of Chicago, calls herself n iticyclienne. THERE is a woman at the beginning of all great things, Tit ERE are more unmarried blondes than brunettes. It is not believed that it is the fault of the blondes, though. A BOSTON female school teacher has been fined 225 dole, for inhuman eruelty toward a male pupil. She killed him with her spectacles on. TREY say that "the must fashionable ladies new . _wear warmly any jewellery." pmby,,My.itlit because they have so little clothing to pin it on to. Firms different machines are used in the manufacture of infants' shoes. What troublesome things babies are, to be sure! Tun have no hash at the sea-side resorts. All the cold meats, potatoes, bread crumbs and things of that sort, are shaken up end mixed together under the name of "French salad." The name -is more aristocratic. " llveurse societies" have been introduced into Missouri to swell the church treasuries. The hugs range in price from 25 cents to two dollars. Tills may be considered something new in Missouri, but for years churches I ere have found it. a "tight squeeze " to keep their treasuries provided with cash Trrev have rough hygiarac prinsi pies in Poston. A promirent physic an f the Hat, is (peed as saying: If a child does it t thrk e on fresh milk, boil it." Boiled children is evidently the last Boston craze, but will never become popular. "PA, why does a man break a promise so readily ?" "Because, my son, it is so easy to make another one. "My friend," said the teetotaler, placing his hands on the tippler's arm, "beware of the enemy in that glass, Ruin has levelled many a man much stronger than you." "All right " replied' I l raved man with a leer; all right, but didn't the man get the rum down first ?" " THEY any that fish makes brains," remarked Mrs. Yeast to her friend, Mrs. Crintsonbsak, with whcm she was dining the other day. "I don't believe it," replied the smart hostess, who goner illy liked to have her own way. "Well, I do, said the visitor, rather emphatically. "Well, I guess I ought to know," sharply exciaimed Mrs. Crimsonbeak, losing her temper; l've been eating it for the last 46 years!" "I NEVER was so astonished in my life," said a New York lady, who had been travelling abroad, "as when I saw on the North Pole the advertisement—' S. T. 1860 X.' " "The North Pole ?" was the qnery. "Yes, the North Pole." "Are you sure it was the North Pole?" "Well, I am not quite sure. It may have been on one of the pyramids of Belgium. I know it was at one of those delightfully far-off places that we visited." "Yes," said the colonel, "I was on a jury in California once. It was a murder trial. I didn't want the fellow hung, and so stuck out against the other eleven for nine days, locked up in the juryroom, when they gave in, and we brought in a verdict of 'Not guilty.' And then I was the maddest man in the State." "Why, what were you mad about, colonel?" "'Cause the mob hung the prisoner the first day we were looked up." "Conan:tar you find room enough for yourself an that bench, without pushans• that little boy off on the floor ?" asked an Aim' in school teacher of the had boy of the school. "I didn't want any room for myself,'" was the reply; "I wasn't crowded at all." "Then why did you push him off ?" "To give hint more room. Ire was the boy who was crowded, so I pushed him off to give him plenty of room. There is a great deal more off a bench than there is on it." AB-