The Herald of Wales. — 1889-12-07 (Swansea, West Glamorgan, Wales)

AFRAID OF TAKING COLD. Judge: " Where did you find tbis coloured marl, officer ?"  Officer: " I found him last night banging around Devlin and Co.'s clothing store. Mr. Devlin haa had a good deal of clothing stolen lately, and I brought up this man on respician." Judge : " What is your name, prisoner'" Prieoner : "Napoleon Bonaparte Gibbs." Judge "What is your occupation ? " Gibbs: " I'se travelling agent fer de new patent whitewash brush, ash." Judge: "Take off your mat, Gibbs." Gibbs: "I hope you 'acme me. ash las been' troubled lately wid de 'fluency in de heed —demotic,. ash. I'm very bad." Judge: "Take off your coat, Gibbs." Gibbs takes off his coat very slowly. Judge: "Ah, another omit under that! Nothing like benne wrapped up well,aa they say in Alaska when they go skating. Take off your coat, Gibbs." Gibbs: "I isn't well—l isn't, ash. De doctor few, 'Napoleon, you wear plenty clothes.' De 'fluency, gab." He takes off his coat. Judge: "Ah, what. have we here? A swallow. tail! Takeoff your coot,-Gibbs." Gibbs: "D• ye: won't do, judge. I'se got •stuff. nem in de borax. very bad." Takes off his cos• Judge: "Au, • ...oble-hreraited frock ! Take off your coat, Gibbs.' Gibbs, "..Dar'sgwine to be e.funvrei here—dar is,. Rah. I feels de stuffnees rising in de borax." He takes off his cost. Judge: "What's this? A shooting jacket, by the soul of Nimrod 1 Take off your coat, Gibbs." Gibbs: " gwine for a karmic Pm letting sold. Di, yore is murder in de fusteat degree. Takes off- his coat.  Judge: 'TAIT, & liner duster. / shall commit you vnthont bail. Take him down gently, officer, for beim a fragile creature."  "its marveuous what rascality there is in this world," exclaimed the merchant angrily • "the last ton of lard I bought is so much adulteratiid that it ir not 66 to mix with my butter!" A clergyman, one hot Sunday, observing a deacon asleep in church, called out, "Brother Austin, please open the windosv a little. Physicians say it is unhealthy to aleemin shot room." After the elopment.—He : "And now, dear, sinco we are safe on the train, why do you seem so sad ?" She (pettishly) : "We were not even chased. I don't think it was one bit romantse." Said the Saxen-haired maiden to the dapper young man behind the counter: "Have you any nice, softmuslin that: will suit my complexion and hair Clerk: "Bleached or unbleaohed!" " Do you like city or country journalism best ?" she asked her handsome cousin, come up to the farm for a brief rest ; and when he loyally replied : "I much prefer the herne press," she rewarded him bye cousiuly embrace. Ccuntryman : "Who are they putting that statue up for?" Cititen : "That's the statue of James Brown Smith." "Did he do anything great ot wise while he lived?" " Yes, he paid for the statue before he died." "Now remember, Belinda," said Mm. Sharply to her daughter just married, " violence in anything is most unladylike. Of course you will sometimes disagree with your 'nusbentl, but always hit him with the soft end of the broom."  Jack " Ethel, I Jun ashamed of you. I sew that .firenchman in the conservatory kissing you re peatediy. Why didn't you teal him to stop ? " Ethel '.. "I couldn't, Jaelc." "You oeoldn't I Why not?" : "I can't speak French." She was 'too "You say you shot the duck yourself, John? I 'can find no marks on it." Husband (who had not thought of that) r -Well—es—iny dear, theigaill yas very high up, yuct