The Manchester Examiner. — 1848-02-08 (Manchester, Greater Manchester, England)

ADVICE TO REPORTERS.—When you report an accident, if it be a fire, do not talk about the "devouring element," but say simply—a fire. If a murder, do not say that "the whole of Little South Peter-street, West Chelsea, was thrown into a state of intense excitement," because no such excitement ever occurs. If a dinner be given at Richmond, do not describe the landlord as "mine host of the Garter"— there's no wit in that. If a country theatre closes, do not allude to Sernpronius, and say that "the worthy and enterprisinis manager, Do-the-authors, could not command success, but he did more—he deserved it." If a clergyman has a dispute with his bishop, do not say, "the quarrel is a very pretty quarrel as it stands." If the Licensed Victuallers, or the Provident Pawnbrokers, have a ball at Islington, do not say that "the company kept tripping it on the light fantastic toe till a late hour.' If Mr. John Cooper play Cassio (but hope you will not have to record this indiscretion on the part of Corks) do not say "the veteran Cooper was all that could be desired as the virtuous Michael." If Mr. Appledaddy fights Mr. Tipton Slasher, do not say, "here the daddy burst off with a nobbler to make things on the square, which took the bark off Tippy's frontispiece, napping a slogger in return, and showing a mouse under the dexter ogle," but instead of the above vulgar jargon (copied from the Era) say, "we were happy to learn that both ruffians were nearly beaten to pieces, but we regret that the good work was not completed." If a judge sentences a murderess to transportation, do not say, "the worthy judge seemed affected while passing sentence," but say "was" affected, and that it was all affectation. If a fashionable demirep be slandered, do not indignantly wish for a whip "to lash the rascal naked through the world," because such a process would be unseemly. If an actor whom you like take a benefit, do not say he has "provided a good bill of fare," or that you hope he will have "a bumber," and if it be Mr. Buckstone, by no means call him Little Bucky; you have no right to take that liberty with a gentleman, merely because he makes you laugh. If you have to record a good dinner, do not allude to "an alderman" as a type of gluttony—most of the aldermen are gentlemen; and moreover you may find in every club in Pall Mall afar greater pig than even thc conventional alderman of caricature. If a linendraper run away with a fishmonger's wife, do not talk about the" gallant gay Lothario." If an event occur in Curzon-street, or at St. Albans, say so—and not that it took place "not a hundred miles from" either place. Do not describe a barrister as "a gentleman of the long robe," when, probably, he is no gentleman, and his robe is as short as his pedigree. Never call Shakspere "the sweet swan of Avon-" he had nothing of the swan about him except a signet, which is now in the keeping of the Archreological Institute. If you are in love with an actress, I suppose Tau will drag her name into all your dramatic notices, and if she be playing you will con. gratulate the numagement ; if not, you will condole with it, besides insulting every house at which she is not engaged, and depreciating every other artist in the same line; an actress expects it of a literary admirer—but I think you had better be moderate, and not allude to her above three times in the same paper. Finally, my boy, never use French or Latin, when English will express your meaning (which it always will)—never quote anything but stocks (or may you be set in them), never make puns (this last will show you their deformity), and, above all things, mind what you're about.—The Man in the Moon.