The Pontypridd District Herald and Rhondda Valley, Llantrisant, Caerphilly, and Mountain Ash News. — 1894-05-26 (Pontypridd, Mid Glamorgan, Wales)

AISPERIAN CRACKERS.  [Br &am Era.]  A 'most miraculous organ'— a woman's tongs.. 'I know not seems•—The neediewoman who disowned her profession.  'Blow, blow, ye wintry winde—A meteorological oration for the month of May. 'Throw physic to the dogs r—Quaok orator on tie stomp, who means business.  ' There ie a tile io the emirs of meo'—Dif,ei tabliehment.  'Which, taken et the flood, leads on to Onisgortune'—The attempt at an appropriation of other people's money and property. Who'll wry the bag ?  'When shall we three meet again ?'—Not the witches, but Disestabliihment, Disendowment, and a disinolined House of Commons?  ' Much Ado about Nothing'—Asquith's recent squib, wbioh was damp, and would not ignite. But thou bast forced me'—Non-oon. looking up with • pitying' eye upon an 'acelesituitioar steeple.  'He came in thunder ; We celestial breath was salphurons to smell !—Vide press criticism anent Asquith's attempt at spoliation.  'Snob stuff as dreams are made or —Expression of publio opinion thereou.  ' Then give up my charge te Sir Nioholu Tau, who undertakes you to your and'—Cbarge of ible Welsh Non-oon. Brigade to Asquith their caplet*. •  'Yet lam richer than my base accusers. that never knew what truth meant !'—The Church of the people.  'The fairest hand I ever touched'—Pygmalion's address to Galatea.  `To boor not to be !'—The lover's proposal. -' Look on tbis picture, and then on tbie—Balfour and Lloyd George. Is this a dagger I see before me ?' —Nay ! (' Minot and quit my right I') it i 4 —toyhoub, ! (Exolamation of champion against skeleton lionises, broken roofs, and saturated mattrease., who hails from the vicinity of Bailey's Court and Dines.)  'This fool end most nonstnral murder r—Cot-throat competition in the printing busiest,.  ' Thou odoriferous stench, sound rottenness r plea for adequate privy accommodation in the Rhondda Valleys.  '0 that my tongue were in ttia thunder's month!' —Lloyd George on the stump. ' Then with a passion would I shake the world I (Exeunt stump orator. reading statistics, and gels somewhat uneasy when he finds that the world shakes ham by 53 against 47 per cent, of even ;11, own nationality. Humph I)  ' To grunt and sweat under a weaty life'—Over. taxing the ptrength of horses who take their ' loads' Up Trallwn Hill, Pontypridd. There k a sudden stop, then the wbip, then the anathema ; but (lie animal is fly', as well u helpless, and stirs no. until be is helped out of a 'hole,' which is a dsily occurrence.  • There's lancinge in her eye. her cheek, her lip. Nay, her foot speaks'—So spoke a young man of his young maiden recently at a dancing class somewhere within the precincts of the neighbourhood of Ooedpenmann. Bow he mast dote on bar. Does she reciprocate ? Ay, there's the rob.  'Why came I hither, but for that intent V—Not the 'broad cloth' man, but this time in the person of the religions census collector, who, as such, ex cased himself, after the usual rap.tap at the door, on no momentous' a business. Ha had under his aria a Magna Obarta. Confound it, no I That would signify Liberty. What should be said is that he bad a scroll of parchment with names entered thereon signifying denominationalism. But, alas ! there's more off the Parchment than on it. What wond,r ? Silence is golden. Some of the ladies have specially requested Eagle Eye to 'take an inventory' of the fact, and to add it as a postscript, that the business has greatly iaterfered with their washing. Really, this is to be regretted. All they have to do is to sue for damages. And, like the famc.us ape, ta try conclniions'— A rev, gentleman's stigma on football players.  'To kick or not to kick, that i 4 the queetioo ! Whether 'tis better for the body To stiffer the bruises of the football field. Or to take lemons, and by retiring, sqaash it i