The Central Glamorgan Gazette, and General, Commercial, and Agricultural Advertiser. — 1874-05-01 (Bridgend, Mid Glamorgan, Wales)

CAUSI AND EITICT.—There is a good, deal of humour among the gold miners of British Columbia. "Don't prevaricate, sir," thundered a British Columbia judge to a witness from the mines —"don't prevaricate, sir 1" " Can't help it, judge," answered the miner. "Ever since I got a kick from a mule that knocked my teeth out, I prevaricate a good deal." A Cinemas Trtiesi.—A tipplea,who had his load on, "fetched up" against the side of a house which had been newly painted. Shoving himself clear by a vigorous effort, he took a glimpse at his shoulder, another at the house, a third at his hand, and exclaimed, "Well, that is a careless trick in whoever painted that house to leave it standing out all night for people to run against." The following colloquy took place between Sealingwax, Q.C., and a witness "who would talkback:" "Do I understand you to say, sir, that the prisoner Is a thief?" "Yes, sir; 'cause why—she confessed she was." "And you also swear she worke 1 for you after this confession ?" " Yes, sir." "Then we are to understand that you employ dishonest people to work for you, even after their mean es are confessed to you ?" "Of course; how else would I get assistance from a lawyer ?" This laconic but sensible German ought to be sent out to lecture among the people on temperance: "I sail tell you how it vas. I drank mine lager; den I put mine hand on mine head, and dere vosh vone pain. Den I put mine hand on mine body, and dere yeah anoder pain. Den I put my hand in my pocket, and dere vas noting. So I jine mid de demperance. Now dere is no pain more in mine head, and de pain in mine body vas all gone avay. I put mine hand in mine pocket, and dere vas twenty tellers. So I stay mid de demperance. An instance of rare honesty, and showing how a dog may desire to pay his board bill, is said to have recently occurred in Fitchburg. A lady saw a dog frequently about her hose picking up odd bi s which bad been thrown out, and one day she called him in and fed him. The next day he came back, and as she opened the door he walked in and placed an egg on the floor, when he as again fed. The following day he brought another egg to pay for his dinner, and on the fourth day he brought the old hen herself, who it seemed had failed to furnish the required egg. A lady while engaged in the pursuit of her domestic duties encountered a mouse in the flour barrel. Now most ladies under 'similar circumstances would have uttered a few feminine shrieks, and then sought safety in the garret. Itit this one possessed more than the ordinary degree of feminine courage. She summoned the manservant, and told him to get the shot-gnn, call the bulldog, and station himself at a convenient distance. Then she climbed half.way upstairs, and commenced to punch the flour barrel with a pole. Presently the mouse made its appearance, and started across tho floor. The dog at once Went in pursuit. The man fired, and the dog dropped dead. The lady fainted, and fell down the stairs, and the hired man thinking that she was killed, and fearing that he would be arrested for murder, disappeared, and has not been seen since. The mouse escaped. Joan