The North Cumberland Reformer. — 1891-04-30 (Carlisle, Cumbria, England)

FARE ESTIMATE.  [lt is proposed to establish a League for the abolition a railway fares.]  Free schooling was quite recently the cry, And some who would, in zeal for education, Free training for the Board school child supply, Would now demand free train-ing for the nation! Tits Coming Dress—The new clothes you're expecting home from the tailor's. . _ _  a A 11?-111TEE in the btu/ does not think it necessary that spinsters Bhould go to the colonies "in search of a husband." Quite so; let them go to the United States.  A MATTER of Victual Importance.—Mrs. Otickelstein : "Oh, tot a shemozzle, Sholomon ! You've pought those suits, undt dey von't fit. Der twins is too fat." Mr. Onekelstein : " Nefer mindt, Rachael, my tear. Ye can easy reduce their shtoutmess in a week or two, undt put de money afay towards der cost of der clothes !" A BURNING Question—Whether the Infiarumable Liquids Bill shall pass. BAD Sort of " Side" to Put On—Homi-cide.  "A-Loa I did it !" as the chronic sponger chuckled when he succeeded in borrowing an unexpected half-crown.  Lmur-llzamm—A lucifer match.  ANOTHER subsidence has occurred in the Droitvrich Brine district. That particular spot is evidently in a Pickle. . _  SPARE" Ch-A " Slender " income. ALCOHOLIC Anomaly—The "Patent Still Whisky" being an "Active Spirit." BLoon-RELArioxs--The Gore Family. WHERE the Cycling Horn should be mostly heard —At " Tooting ! "  (From Afoonahine). Tun Straits Settlements—generally the wortlouses.  IT is suggested that on his return from the Cape the Nitrate King should become a Norther, and pabli,h a book Africa-lections. VoLsrux is said to be dying out. This is just as well, for there is quite enough bad language used, witoout adding to the vocabulary. " GENERAL Booth is sending round for more money. There certainly seems a deal of canvass about this Booth. LADIES' silk blouses are to be the mode this season. No doubt when fashion thus runs loose, she will have plenty of followers. MASTER (to Butler) : " Gradidge, I shall be in town until the end, of the season." Butler (langui,tir) : "Well, sir, I suppose I shall have to put hup with you." o. WltO of a farmer, residing near Witham Essex, gave birth to triplets last week. He doesn't know what to do with 'em. We presume one male sex, one female sex, and one Er-sex. THE Earl of Meath purposes interrogating ministers as to whether, in view of the many murders which apparently might have been detected had the police been pro vuled with noiseless shoes, they will in future supply the members of the Loudon force with rubber-soled or list shoes. What a chance for the cooks to sing—" Oh, list unto me." The elastic soles might certainly be good in case of rm!,bery. A SENSATIONAL story of wholesale poisoning, from Arne; ica. —A young man who had been refused by a bride, a Mies Herr, managed to place a quantity of arsenic in the coffee served at the wedding breakfast. Two guests have died from the effects of the pison, and the bride herself is now in a critical condition. The old story. He wauted Herr, and she wouldn't have him.  A movement is in progress for the establishment of Free Railway Travelling. Good Gracious ! What will not some people want? If they would only book by some of the trains, we fancy they would find certain travellers a good deal to free as ft is.  WHEN a man forswears cards, does he keep his oaill if he cuts them?  An explosion at a smelting furnace in the iron works of Wiekowitz, in Moravia, has caused the death of a foreman and six workmen; many others have been inj ued. The Committee of the Austrian Lower House on Commercial Affairs have adopted unanimously a Government Bill, the effect of which will be to defer for a year the denunciation of the Treaty of Commerce between Austria-Hungary and Italy. Mr. Benjamin Frttuei,, \i ititams, 44.1/4 of am South Wales Circuit, has been elected :4 Boucher of the Honourable Society of the Middle Temple, in succession to the late Mr. Morgan Howard, Q.C. The County Council Times has the authority of Sir John Lubbock for stating that he doe-, not propose to seek re-election to the London County Council on the expiration of his present term of service.  THE GREATEST VALUE