The Sun. — 1854-06-30 (London, England)

THE CZAR BE-CROSSING THE TRUTH.  ( From the Charivari.) The little Viscount Tartempion had this morning, on coming to see me, an unusual air of gaiety. " Good morning, my dear fellow," said he, with a protecting air. "We have great news to-day. Peace is about to be made." " No, really." " Absolutely yes. always told you that the Emperor of Russia was a fine fellow, the support of order, the protector of a vast number of things of various kinds—in fact, the palladium of Europe." " But, my dear viscount, you seem to me to have changed your opinion very decidedly from what it was some time back, for then the Emperor Nicholas was nothing but a perturbator, and even the secret ally of demagogues." " Oh, that is nothing. ' my dear fellow ; just imagine that I never said anything of the sort. Nothing is more easy than to arrange matters with the Czar, who, in reality, never desired anything else." "But the hostilities which have been going on—" "Oh ! that was a misunderstanding, and that is all. At present matters will be arranged , quickly, for the Russian troops have received orders to evacuate the Principalities.". " Good." " They will repass the Pruth." " Very good." "And of course you comprehend the rest." "I ! I comprehend nothing whatever." " Arid yet it is as clear as crystal. As the Russians have re-crossed the Pruth, and gone home, the Turks have evidently nothing more to do with them. For why was it that war was waged on the Czar ? Because he invaded the Turkish territory. 'Well, then, the moment he returns within the former limits, what more can possibly be required from him ? A good treaty of peace remains to be signed ; all the parties embrace each other ; every one goes off to his own side, and the matter is at an end." " And you imagine that an arrangement like that will satisfy Erigland and France ?" " Certainly. Why not ?". These two Powers will have made for nothing such considerable armaments ?" " Oh, that is a mere detail." " They will have sent armies to the East, and fitted out fleets ?" " A mere • detail, I tell you." They will have expended hundreds of millions for nothing whatever I" "But why not ? Such things happen to every one now and then." "Will you just allow me, viscount, to imagine a case to aid your understanding ?" "Go on, if you think fit." " A thief contrives to get into your house." " Good." "He forced your door." " Good." "He murders your porter, your servant, and every one that attempts to prevent his coup dc main." " Very good." " You cry out for help." " Ah, that I certainly would with all my might." " The guard arrives." " Well ?" " What does the thief do ? He says to the police, Gad, gentlemen, I had not the slightest idea that the matter would have gone so far ; I could never have supposed that my noble friend, the little Viscount de Tartempion, would have had sufficient strength of lungs to cry out for help as he did. I give you my honour, I thought he was in bed, and half dead. But, in fine, since you are in such numbers, and that my attempt has failed, I renounce it for the present, however, and I decamp. But, gentlemen, do not take the trouble to conduct me back, it would really disoblige me ; I know the way by myself, I will now bid you good morning, and hope to be back soon again. •With such an address from the thief, would you, little viscount, be satisfied ? and do you imagine that the guard would consider everything at an end, and allow the malefactor to depart !" " Assuredly not." " Well, then, that is exactly what would come to pass if when the Russians had recrossed the Pruth, that little satisfaction from the Czar should be put 'un with, and nothing else demanded from the Emperor Nicholas," " What 1 you dare to compare that august personage to a vulgar thief ? I regret having listened to language so improper as yours, and I leave you. Palsambleu ! these demagogues re spect nothing." At these words the little viscount made a pirouette, and went off to carry his rumours of peace to boUrse.  [