Swansea and Glamorgan Herald, and South Wales Free Press. — 1864-04-20 (Swansea, West Glamorgan, Wales)

REASON.—"What h the reavon that men nes, r kiss each other, while the ladies %caste a world of kisses on feminine faces ? " said fo lih.• gem "to :1 lively girl, the other day.—The young lady answered, "li”eause the men have something better to kiss, and the women ktveret."  "Flue At THE CalBl3 ! "—During one of the battle, on the Mississippi, lyitrreen Gmerai Grant's forces and Ceneral Pillow's rebels, the latter officer c tiled out to a Captain Duncan, in his u.tlial pompous, solemn manor, "C.iptain Duncan, fire! —the crisis has c ime." Duncan, without saying a word, turneil to his twin, who ware stantlin4 by their guns already shot Lid and primed, and si'nPlY eallud out." Fire I " The man were slightly stirprimvd at the order, there being no particu!ar object within range, when an old grey-headed Irish sergeant stepped up wiili '• Plane yer honour, what shall we fire ?"—'• Fire at the crisis," said Duncan. " Did'nt you general say it had come 2 "  A large stes:nboat proprietm., although a man of immense wealth, is an old-fashioned Methodist, and dresses very pl tinily at all times and sometimes rather shabbily, Bing on one of his own steamers, not bong since, he was accosted by a passenger, wh ) took him for one of the crew, with the interrogitory, " Do sou belong to this boat? "—" No," said he, quietly, 'the boat belongs to me!"  DiusASis THAT FULFIL THEStsELYES. —Th'..re are dreams which fulfil themselves in a different way. An Italian merchant, travelling between Rome and sienna, dreamt he was murdered, and in confession told this to a priest, and At the same time revealed the wealth which lie carried about with him: the pri•:st's cupidity was excited, and he fulfi:ied his dream. An Hamburg apprentice, who was to be despatched on the following day to a dista,.ce with a considerable sum of money, had frightful dreams of robbery and murder, and accordingly, in pa.!sing through a village that lay on the edge of a wood, he revealed his fears and his errand to the magistrate, in presenca of some workmm, and beg.ted for a guide. The Magistrate vent one of the workmen is he had heard the story, and the poor youth was afterwards found murdered in the wood, and the guide had fled.—Macinitlari.  ARM 4 FOR THE FEDERAL 3 —ln the year 1852 no less than 196.053 rifles and muskets were stipp.d at Liverpool for New York, B iston, Portland, and ; also above 34 tons of ordnance and ordnance stores, 11,947,000 percussion caps, 119 fowing pieces, 82 swords, and 82 swords, and 28 pistols. There was no shipment of munitions of war avowedly to any Confederate port.  According to a correspondent of the Daily Telegraph, Mr Stansfeld, who has been "so worried by aristocrats and Tories," is of far more distinguished ancestry than the great majority of his persecutors, Ile belongs to two very old Yorkshire families, arid can claim direct descent from Alfred the Great and Charlemagne, and even from English Kings of so hitt a date as Henry 111. and Ed ward 1.  A woman, who kept a small general shop in Bethnalgre”i, died last week from sheer starvation. She had been living for months past on a piece of dry bread every day, and had been known now and then to beg a meat ticket from the clergym n of the parish. It tamed out, how ver, that sue was comparatively wealthy but of very miserly habits, and that when pressed to get toed or medicine her plea was that she could not afford it.