Stockton Herald, South Durham and Cleveland Advertiser. — 1886-10-30 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

THE LAST OF THE SERPENTS.  Sore, everybody has heard tell of t blessed Saint Patrick, and how he druve t sarpints, and all manner of venomous thin! out of Ireland—how he bothered all t varmint entirely; but for all that there w one ould sarpint left, who was too cunning be talked out of the country, and made drown himself. Saint Patrick didn't w know how to manage this fellow, who w doing great havoc, till at long last he betboug himself, and got a strong iron chest ma with nine boults upon it. So, one fine morning he takes a walk where the sarpint used to keep; and t sarpint, who didn't like the Saint in t least, and small blame to him for th began to hiss and show his teeth him like any thing. " Oh," says Patrick, says he, "where's the use making such a piece of work about gentleman like myself coming to see yc 'Tie a nice house I have got made for y agin the winter, for I am going to civil the whole country, man and beast," says 1 "and you can come and look at it whecei you please, and 'tis myself will be glad to I you.,, . . .  The sarpint, hearing such smooth wort thought that though Bt. Patrick had dra all the rest of the sarpints into the sea, meant no harm to himself; so the sarpi walks fair and easy up to see him and t house he was speaking about. But when t sarpint saw the nine great bonits upon t chest he thought he was sould (betrayet and was for making off with himself as fa as ever he could.  "'us a nice warm house, you see," es; Saint Patrick, "and 'tis a good friend I a to yon." "I thank you kindly, Saint Patrick, f your civiliry,'; says the sarpint, " but I thii it's too small it is for me "—meaning it; an excuse, and away he was going. "Too small!" says Saint Patrick. "stop you please," says he; "you're out in thi my boy, anyhow—l am sure 'twill fit y completely; and, I'll tell you what," says "I'll bet you a gallon of porter, says t "that if you'll only try and get in, there'll plenty of room for you." The sarpint was as thirsty as be could with his walk, and 'twas a great joy to hi the thought of doing Saint Patrick out of t gallon of porter; so, swelling himself up big as he could, in he got to the chest, all b a little bit of his tail. " There, now," sa, be, "I've won the gallon, for you see t house is too small for me, for I can't get my tail." When what does Saint Patrick but he comes behind the great heavy lid the chest, and putting his two hands to down he slaps it with a bang like thandt When the rogue of a sarpint saw the lid co: ing down, in went his tail like a shot, for fe of it being whipped off him, and Saint Patri began at once to boult the nine iron boults. "Oh! murder! Won't you let me or Saint Patrick ?" says the sarpint—" I've k the bet fairly, and I'll pay you the gallon Ii a man."  "Let you cmt, my darling?" says Bah Patrick, "to be sure I will, by all manner means; but, you see, I haven't time now, you must wait till to-morrow." And so 1 took the iron chest, with the sarpint in and pitches it into the lake here, where it to this hour, for certain; and 'tie the sarpi struggling down at the bottom that mak the waves upon it. Many is the living ma continued Picket, besides myself, has ha the sarpint crying out, from within the she under the watif, "Is it to-morrow yet ? it to-morrow yet ?" which, to be sure, it asa can be; and that's the way Saint Batri settled the last of the sarpints, sir.  Age and want sit smiling at the r ate.—Porn.  Earthly greatness is a nice thing, and requir so much chariness in the managing as the ez tentineut of it cannot regrute.—ii4m.. Gold glitters most where virtue shines no more, As stars from absent suns have leave to shine. —Youna  PERFECT HEALTH RESTORED NiTTHOI MEDICINE, PUDDING, On EXPENSE, by Du liana