The Weekly Gazette for Middlesbrough, Stockton, Hartlepool and Cleveland District. — 1879-09-06 (Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, England)

LIZ SILLY' SEASON.  Oh, this is the season that's silly, aa silly as silly can be, And the editors all are in tempers, and the  writers are all up a tree; That's the worst of the bealloll of autumn if it isn't quite billy enough— It knocks all the newspapers stupid, and the "subs" are in fits for their " stuff." If the people would only be silly, and, suiting their deeds to the times, Give their minds up to arson and murder and  other mysterious c-imes • Or if Chelmsford would punch his own hew.' now, or Carey would take Drury Lane. And give us a chance of reporting a some thing that's really insane; If Alfonso of Spain were to marry the lady who washes his clothes, Or if Spurgeon were tackled by "Cato" for using unmannerly oaths ; If Sir Garnet had caught Cetewayo with bloaters and muffins for tea,— How nimbly our pencils would travel, how busy we writers would be. If Cross had been collared by Marwood, and hanged in a new-fangled way, Or if Beaky had granted ti Tracy a title and fourpence a day ; If the Queen had come back to her people, if the weather had settled at fair— Bah 1 such things are not likely to happen; let us liquor ad stick as we were.  Lord Chelmsford has returned to his native village, and if be had been a second Julius Caisar he could not have been more triumphautly welcomed by the claque provided for the purpose. The anxious friends who hired an army of supers at a shilling a day and their beer to give the hero of Isandula a sham welcome could not have adopted a more injudicious course. It is preposterous to suppose that the people can have any sympathy with such proceedings, and, like injudicious applause at a theatre, the demonstration only wakes a storm of hisses from those who would, under other circumstances, have kept silent. Accepting the " reception" as genuine, it would be the apotheosis of rampant dufferism. Lord Chelmsford is a Court favourite, and  that unfortunately nowadays is quite sufficient to stop criticism in certain quarters. Her Majesty rewards his ekill and judgment in Zululand with a Bath. This shows great discrinlination on the part of her Majesty. A Bath is the very thing the General requires bat the water must be very warm and the soap very strong if his reputation as a o ,mmander is to be thoroughly cleansed. The blood of the slain at Isaudnla cries out against the feasting and the feting which are being so cleverly worked, but it is the blood of common soldiers, and it may cry in vain. If the General had had a friend worth the name, be would have been put in a bag and taken home through the back streets. The bookstalls of the Right Hon. William Henry Smith, First Lord of the Admiralty, are at present decorated with the following inscription:—" Licensed to sell patent medicines, and at 186, Strand." Perhaps William will explain why he has turned quack doctor, and whether he is likely to start grocery and fish at an early date. Co-operative stores were bad enough, but if a member of the Government is going to open big chandlers' chops in every station of the United Kingdom, the poor tradespeople have a right to howl.  ox. and clam , Bairn Walla=