The Warwickshire Herald. — 1892-07-28 (Birmingham, West Midlands, England)

INGENIOUS MR. JONES. booting the ship's boy. I made one shoot of it off Sow Jones he writ a story of a superior kind— the house and laid that Detehman out. Up he In tact, a stronger story would be pretty hard to came, and I laid him out again. " Now," find; I said. "if there's a kick left in you, lie read it to his friends, which the same it greatly just mention it, and I'll stamp your ribs in like moved; a packing-case." He thought better of it, and In private, Jones himself admitted it couldn't be never let on; lay there as mild as a deacon at improved— a funeral. and they took him below to reflect Ilut with the periodicals his story seemed to fail, on his native Dutchland. One night we got caught Lich time it came a-riding back on the next return- in rather a dirty thing about 25 south. I guess we ing mail; were all asleep, for the first thing I knew there WAS And the editor of "The Monthly Snore" turned up the fore-royal gone. I ran forward, bawling blue his nose in scorn, hell ; and just as I came by the foremast something And sent a note advising Jones to stick to hoeing struck me right through the forearm and stuck corn. there. I put my other hand up, and, by George, Then Ji•nes he cursed these worthy men in a was it was the grain; the beasts had speared me like that was is sight: a porpoise. "Cap'n l" I cried.--What's wrong P" Ile freely charged need not the brains to last says They've grained me," says L— them over night; Grained you ? " says he. "Well, lye been Awl of "The Snore's" conductor he took occasion to lor king for that."--- And by God." I cried. assert "I want to have Borne of those beasts murdered for 'l' at the critter didn't know enough to ache when it !" -Now Mr. Nares," says he, -you'd better go lie was hart. below. If I had been one of the men, you'd have Y I still the story wouldn't sell, though offered fat got more than this. And I want no more of your and wide, language on deck. You've cost me icy fore-royal Ildt Jones was not the fellow long to stand upon his already.- says he; "and if yen carry on, you'll pride; • have the three sticks out of her." That was s perfect, but I'll alter 'Cr," the rising author old man Green's idea of supporting officers. But saiu ; yod wait a bit; the cream's coming. We made For a literary man. Jones has a decidedly long head. Melbourne right enough, and the old man said: Jenes he tossed aside his coat and tousled up his "Mr. lives, you and don't draw together. hair, You're a first-rate seaman, nl mistake of that; but I%i-slid off his cuffs and got his pen and droppe.: ycu're the most disagreeable man I ever sailed into his chair, with, and your language and your conduct to the Y :eked down his perfect story from its place upai crew I cannot stomach. I guess we'll separate." the shelf I didn't care about the berth., you may be sure; ,n. 3 rewrote it in a dialect he couldn't read Isimsdf. but I felt kind of mean, and if he made one kind of Th,n to the brilliant "Monthly Suore " lie sent the stink I thought I could make another. So I said same as new; I would go ashore and see how things stood; Within two hours these glorious words were spread went, found I was all right, and came aboard again in Jones's view en the top rail. "Are you getting your traps "Dear Mr.