If your heart beats more than once an hour, DON'T BUY THIS ALBUM! . First, I should remind you, Dear Reader, that since italics, boldface type, and underlines can't be used in these kind of reviews, I have to use one capital letter in some mid-sentence words to slightly stress them and use all capitals to stress other words even more!         Anyway, one star on this review is one star too many to give this album and band.         I received this album as a gift for my birthday while I was on the other side of the country.  I'd never even Heard of this band until then, much less any of their songs by pure and simple osmosis.  When I finally got around to taking it out of the wrapping and putting it into the CD player of my car on the way to work and back, I was not impressed with the opening song, nor the second, nor the third, etcetera, and so on, and so forth ...         I kept wondering if this coma-inducing drone (interrupted only by the screaming of the word "Nothing" at least 20 times at the end of the first song) was some kind of tactical build-up by the band so they could eventually break out a song that made them at least Somewhat Big (much less a hit) to start the party.         You know the kind of song I mean, don't you, Dear Reader?  I mean the kind of song that makes you think "Whoa!  Who's THIS?!" because it has a either a great opening, or a great first line or four, or at least Something to grab your attention within the first minute, like Ani DiFranco's song "Out of Range" would do in less than 16 seconds.         Anyway, MANY extremely torturous minutes later, the 9th song came along (ironically for me, it's called "Wishful Thinking") and I honestly couldn't take anymore of this DRIVEL!  I gave this band A Whole NINE TRIES to make something that at least Resembles an impression and all I got was only Slightly less musical boredom as when I did when I once tried to listen to the only bad album I currently know by Tangerine Dream: "ZEIT".  That album, by the way, was basically four 20-minute bits of what seemed like people in an orchestra tuning up their instruments and eventually matching one single note with each other BEFORE the conductor starts a symphony you never get to hear.       As I said, this album is only a micrometer less boring.         I honestly cannot understand how anyone who scouts for the music industry could have happened along this sorry excuse for a band and thought to themselves "WOW!  These guys are On FIRE!  I must get them to the studio and P.R. them IMMEDIATELY!!"         Let me put it this way, Dear Reader: Remember that song "Next Time I Fall In Love" by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant back in the mid to late 1980's?  In comparison to the so-called songs on this album, that cutesy ballad will sound more intense and energetic than "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath.       Maybe Wilco got their record contract by winning a contest of who could bore an audience the quickest.         Oh, and if you're wondering to yourself, "Oh yeah? Well,  let's see this guy (as in ME) make a Better album!"         I already Have made a better album and I'll gladly show it to you.  Leave me a response to this review if you want that proof.    AAAaaannnnnd ... CUT!  That's a wrap
Output: NEG