Living proof as to why and how Hollywood often insults the intelligence of today's movie-watchers. . This past August, I had bought the soundtrack to Pete Townsend's 1989 musical The Iron Man, which was also based on Ted Hughes's 1968 novel, and was impressed not only with Mr. Townsend's artistry, but also with the wisdom of the message that its songs conveyed as individual selections on an entire album that was just plain fun to listen to. Naturally, I thus came to thinking that maybe this motion picture, which was released a whole decade after that particular CD, would likely appeal to my imagination in the same way the musical would have, had I only the opportunity to see the latter presentation myself. Unfortunately, I found out how wrong I was when I rented this rightfully less-than-appreciated flick last weekend and forced myself to sit through it.    Now, I'll admit, the animation was definitely something worthy of applause; that's the ONE thing I'll give The Iron Giant credit for. However, that's as far as my praise for this movie goes. I'll also admit that it didn't follow the exact same lines as either the book or the musical, but then again, I was expecting that to be the case. Rather, it was the overall tone of the film that earned my enmity. To begin with, though I am well aware that many animated features and other family-themed features contain the occasional sight gag or adult-themed joke, TIG seemed to be heavily punctuated with them, from beatnik scrap-sculptor Dean McChoppin unzipping his fly to let young Hogarth Hughes's "pet" squirrel escape his pants to the "bathroom" scene where Hogarth tries to cover for the robot's hand as it exits the Hughes's home--the latter scene of which has AT LEAST two instances of what one could easily call "toilet-bowl humor." Not only that, but I found the protagonist himself to be just the most obnoxious and repulsive example of a lead character I have ever come to know: a loud, unruly, disobedient brat reminiscent of all four of young Charlie Bucket's tourmates from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who tries to pass himself off as having more depth than he really has. Honestly, he's NOT what I would call "amiable," "heart-warming," or even "cute"; such adjectives I'd rather reserve for the wide-eyed, honest, poverty-stricken Mr. Bucket. Of course, it's not like I really appreciated any of the other human characters in this flick, either--not little Mr. Hughes's ridiculously clueless diner waitress mother Annie, nor the deadbeat wannabe "artist" Dean, nor even the inept government agent whose name I have completely (yet thankfully) forgotten despite his being the most complex Earthling participant in the entire cartoon. As such, only the hundred-foot-tall, metal-munching robot--a softhearted and self-maintaining (if nonetheless hopelessly brain-damaged) extraterrestrial being who has no memory at all of his origin--impressed me. Even so, the movie portrayed the poor guy as being so incredibly dimwitted (as opposed to being haplessly misguided and a tad naive, which I was hoping he'd come off as being) in an effort to make him likeable to the kids in the audience that I ended up pitying him more than anything else. Needless to say, then, as much as I tried to grapple with each and every one of these elements as they presented themselves, I merely found it harder and harder to get over and accept them all as a collective whole, and I ended up returning this movie to the video store in utter disgust.    Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, I really tried to appreciate The Iron Giant, but despite my efforts in trying to see the side of the story that its fans see in it, all was for naught, and now I am left asking myself as to just why I even bothered to rent it in the first place. After all, it has been known to be one of a number of very unpopular motion pictures from 1999, and with good reason: It caters to a very low level of mentality, even amongst the underdeveloped minds of the kids for whom it was made. Tragically, so do many other movies these days, regardless of how successful or unsuccessful they are--a current, seven-plus-year-long fad that honestly disturbs me and gets me wondering about the sensibility of the average person these days. Worse yet is how a movie as plagued with such lowbrow buffoonery as this one would have a "special edition" on DVD five years after its initial release--especially considering how allegedly few people have actually seen it. Oh, well...I still wish I could've seen Pete Townsend's Iron Man musical. At least THAT would have been something worth witnessing
Output: NEG