niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
Ruth, I think you're filled with the Holy Spirit.
Output: I feel like someone took an ear horn and put it to my lips and God's voice came out.
We're all teachers and we're just trying to do our best by the kids.
Output: Yeah. I'm just administration, so i don't really give a fuck.
What's this?  I hear one of my employees has been throwing away knives!  Robert, is this true?  Have you thrown away perfectly good knives?
Output: Mr. Denny, they were all dull and stuff.
You do spend a lot of time styling your hair, Angie.
Output: I've got to make my hair perfect for when I do my presentations about the bean bag chair full of nachos!
I still don't know if Arthur was a villain or a knight.
Output: I think he was like a knight who turned into a villain, you know what I mean?
Don't tell anybody what I was doing.
Output: Well, we can all see you.
You see if I kill em then maybe I will get to inherit all of the money.
Output: But if you kill him then you are also a murderer you are in a quandry.
Renee, I've been on quite an adventure in your purse.
Output: Aw, you're not the first man to say that. In fact, I hear it quite often.
I'd like to call this five minute meeting to order. As you know, a lot of the side work hasn't been getting done at night.
Output: Hutchinson, there's no chart. How are we supposed to know who's supposed to do the side work?
Even though you're not here on the right day, please stay.
Output: Oh, I've already stayed. I've gotten into the Swedish Meatballs. They're delicious.
I get 30 minutes of phone time, and I've been reading about Van Nuys. It seems so magical. I can't wait to go
Output: But it seems scary, too. Like, what if I want to go to the beach or I want to get frozen yogurt that has no gluten in it?
Where the fuck are you? Where's my beer? Don't make me send your mom out again.
Output: Dad, I just made a quick stop. I had to grab something really quick before I got your beer.
Karen, your dream is my command.
Output: Oh, yay! Karen getting her dream makes me want to sing.
When I started this train platform solo monologue I said, even if I'm lonely, even if I'm scared, I will make a friend and be excited. That seems like something you can help me with. But first you gotta figure out if you have a voodoo curse on you, because I don't need that shit right now.
Output: Wait here for approximately 35 minutes. I gotta go real quick, just talk to my wife.
I've been watching all this from storm drain heaven.
Output: I need some clarification. Is storm drain heaven just the regular world? If so, did you just ascend through a toilet?
If I want to be real mean, do I have to look them in the eye?
Output: Yeah, you can say something like "you may notice I'm not looking you in the eyes. It's because you look horrid".
My name is Albert. I would very much like to work in your establishment.
Output: OK, well, this is Quiznos and you're nude.
Your mother and I brought you to Not Scary Farm to have a conversation.
Output: If we can get through this conversation and come to an understanding, then I'll buy you one of those Peanuts characters that they sell.
I don't want to be a fireguy or a fireman, I just kinda want to hang around. This is fine. As long as you guys acknowledge that I'm here and also don't kick me out.
Output: I've never hated someone so much for so little reason. I don't even know why.
I've got some Werthers in my purse probably about seventy or eighty loose Werthers that could serve as a tasty dessert.
Output: And I've got some jerky sticks in my front seat.
OK. John, you're saying that a lot. Are you sure you're wife's not opening the bakery?
Output: Yes, that's why I'm saying it so much. I'm positive that my wife is not opening the bakery door in the middle of the night and then closing it.
Mr. Featherman, I gotta have a lunch break today, OK? I got to. I gotta eat.
Output: Hey, if the boxes don't get moved over there, no one's eating.
You will never have to chop them again. We can provide you with lifetime supply of pre-chopped onions.
Output: Alright, I will turn a blind eye to the tapeworms in your kitchen.
I like you. You're funny. I really like you guys. If I ever died, god forbid I ever do, I'm going to cut you in on a little something I call my will. And look, my family owns a puppet theater.
Output: Ca-ching. He's gotta be rich.
All right, Ventman, you've got 30 seconds.
Output: Alright, well what I've got here is a whisk broom. It's a traditional English broom. You know, dirt floor, that kinda thing. This is a horse mane broom. This one's made of willow thatch. These'll all three do the same thing in different ways.
I thought that was wallpaper.
Output: Honestly, I thought it was some sort of decorative earth mural.
I'm looking over this letter and it's very clear to me that you're just drunk.
Output: I don't think that's possible, Principal. A student wrote it and they wouldn't know.
What can we do differently tonight's show?
Output: I think that Tony shouldn't fall asleep.
Curtis, I know it's a sin and it's a scandal, but I would like to file for divorce. Maybe we should go to Reno.
Output: A woman filing for divorce in 1963? Why don't I just do the honorable thing and leave your lives?
Does this feel weird with my hand on your face?
Output: Yeah, I don't like Gypsies, so having you touch me makes me cringe.
I do have a talent. I can yodel. Backwards. Did you want me to do it for you?
Output: Yes, yes, please. This suspense is also a talent.
See how much of a family we've become?
Output: Yeah, other families don't finish each other's sentences. We make a purposeful effort to.
What are those guys talking about, Ron? They're very agitated over there, Skip and Art.
Output: Who knows. They're talking about the rotation of the bullpen or some bullshit. Who cares? Whether blacks should be allowed in baseball. Who cares?
It was a mess. Exploded Smucker's everywhere. It looked like somebody had been killed by a dog.
Output: That wasn't really the police's fault, though. That was more the pickle thieves'.
Officer, you sound like some fancy book kid.
Output: I've read a few books. Most of them were criminology.
I'm just going to tap on this cup a couple times and then you can go.
Output: Am I in a cup? Why am I in a cup?
I don't know if anyone is going to show up at the Wisconsin Wells today.
Output: It has been so long since we've had even one guest.
Wait a minute, I think something's up with the sleeping quarters.
Output: Dark Crystal, don't go there. I need you to align my chakras. In the future, that has turned out to be scientifically sound.
How's learning to read coming?
Output: Not great. But we're getting by, Daryl. But you're obviously the brains of this family.
Sir, you can have as many towels as you need.
Output: You know what? We'll wrap you in these towels and you'll look like a burrito, sir.
How's your relationship with your parents?
Output: Well the last time I talked to my dad was probably ten years ago.
He's got a pretty weird body type for a marathon runner.
Output: Yeah, your midsection alludes to another past time.
Honey, how'd the MC'ing go today? I'm seeing tears on your bowtie.
Output: Today was challenging. It's the same audience week after week and they don't respect me. They keep yelling out their orange juice orders and insulting me.
You're going to take on the Bard.  Greatest role ever.  The Danish prince!
Output: I know, he's all melancholy and shit.
But it's normal for your heart to fill with blood.
Output: Fine, but it's more blood than normal. And it's really red.
I've got my full pantry and I've just been making everything myself for people at the carnival.
Output: So just stuff from boxes, then? But we could cater for you with fresh meats or whatever is in hotdogs.
Evelyn's swinging that sport club around like nobody's business. I'd watch out if I were you.
Output: Oh, I've never seen a better form and I've watched my share of tennis.
Your condition is special too, Kurt.
Output: Yeah, well, I can't wait to be 100 years old, so I can be 100 feet tall.
I'm scared.  You guys, I want to get this out before Tim wakes up.  What if he turns against me?  What if he prefers his birth parents to living with me?
Output: Well, you know, master, the prophecy has foretold that he will eventually turn against you.
I feel like I'm in the Hunt for Red October. Miss Thompsjacks, you've seen that of course?
Output: I've seen that one, and you know John Cryer was originally up for that lead role.
Toaster Strudel, where's my rat?
Output: I'm sorry, I was looking for him. These people distracted me.
What do you mean?
Output: Honey, it's time that you learned the family business.
Most of our clients, in fact, 100% of our clients have had their knee cartilage removed and replaced with  stuffed animal batting.
Output: Well, then that means you guys are at fault for your client not exercising, as per my presidential order.
A sandwich is a square.
Output: You know what else is a square? A frame around a painting.
Millionaire, is that a life sized statue of Suzanne Somers?
Output: Yes, from "She's the Sheriff." It was a complicated plot.
I did not expect this level of heat this year, did you Mark?
Output: No, I didn't expect it. Good potato crop this year.
You're telling me brunches with bottomless mimosas were a bad idea in prison?
Output: Yeah, it's like, there's so many narcissists in there. I hated it after a while.
Given the choice between burning alive or being a regular old puppet, I guess I'd rather just be a puppet.
Output: Yeah, that sounds good to me. I really thought setting you free would be the best for you, but it turns out it's not.
I'm still holding this knife up above Donna's head. I want to slice it down so hard.
Output: Ken, can you just hold on. Ken is still here waiting to murder somebody.
What's the worst part about being Colonial Sargent? The big head?
Output: You know it's the big head. Yeah, obviously. I gotta learn to stop coming in all hung over and smoking in the head. It makes for a bad day.
What would you like your last names to be for the book?
Output: Last names are very important. First and last or you don't exist.
We're going to have to lucid dream. 
Output: OK. You're the expert, Tonya. What do we have to do?
I only have cards, like credit cards.  I could give him my Neiman Marcus card.
Output: Wait a minute, Calisto. When I was reading about going out of Malibu on my phone, I was told not to give strangers credit cards.
I will never forget that night. The suede candy was unbelievable.`
Output: Oh, my gosh. It changed my life.
Isn't he so great at this?
Output: Yeah. He learned how to give concert testimony at a camp he went to every year when he was a kid. Isn't that right Manny?
I heard a tale that there's humans inside of the peanut brothers.
Output: Well, Josiah, that's a tale for another time.
You started this museum? You're Gayle Vanhaven?
Output: Yes, Gayle Vanhaven of the Kentucky Vanhavens. My father was a congressman, Bill Phil Vanhaven.
The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year between darkness and light. The fight eternal between good and bad. And they've just made a wish on that day.
Output: The walls between the realms are so thin this time of year. It's no mistake that you, a druid, are my assistant. She's an Earth witch, guys.
Your honor, do I seem fucking drunk to you?
Output: Don't bother this person, sir. He's trying to eat his pie.
OK, mom. Oh mom, you're dying.
Output: I am. I've been dying now, Sally, for going on seven years.
We've been called busybodies in the past. So we're trying to reclaim it.
Output: Oh, I know. This comment card says "These two gals was gossiping while hanging off the windmill." That windmill hole is our bread and butter.
Sir, we know you're stealing water from the park.
Output: Yeah, I told you. I said I was using my shirt to take the water to go to my own park, which is not yet open.
Yeah, I gave him a promotion. You were the best cashier for a whole month and won a trip to Whale Lake.
Output: I did. And you guys never saw me again and nobody came looking for me, captain. Why wouldn't you come looking for me?
We're so proud of you.
Output: Mother and father, I'm looking forward to taking over the grocery business and carrying on the Grocery name.
Theorenta, are you confessing to the murder?
Output: Sure. I don't give a shit. I'm going to die in a couple years anyway. Alright, let's get out of here.
Can someone give me a breakdown of what this story is even about?
Output: It's about a woman named Dolly Levi and she has friends who are hat makers.
Let me guess, you feel that love of soap operas is somehow unmanly and that it's not masculine.
Output: Right, it isn't. Truth be told, his father loved soap operas and I do believe that's why he left us because he had such a love for them
The babies have now grown up. Are they just bigger babies or are they children?
Output: That was my question too.
Do we sell these crawdad beats?
Output: Yeah, we sell these fly crawdad beats. People buy them up.
Yes, I stole the top hat and cane out of this old man's estate box.
Output: Listen, we get blamed for that stuff. When you take costumes out of a box and try to do yourself up as a bucket, we get blamed for that because we can't say that everything in here comes alive after hours.
You said "we" but you appear to be alone.
Output: Well, it's been me by myself for so long, but sometimes you just want to feel like you're not alone so you say things like "we." And now that you guys are here, I was right. It's like a visualized a "we" and it came true.
Sir, I may have been in the CIA bunker a bit too long, but what I do know is you're going to be the most talented operative out there. Now swirl your cape around your shoulders and get to that plane.
Output: I need my eel cane first. Give me that cane.
But we did have them. They were supposed to be for sale to the patrons of the aquarium, not to be used as props in the penguin show.
Output: We put them on the penguins, had to make them all hats and uh... you know, it worked like a charm up until they went  in the water. Got them all rusty.
Please, I'm trying to get married. Don't point out dead animals.
Output: Looks like you're married to that dress now, you've got your bodily fluids just hanging out all over it.
Whoa, there are a lot of food wrappers in this room.
Output: Ouch. It looks like a dumping ground for Hostess.
Well, I've been around for thousands of years so  my voice you know has a little bit of the mid-atlantic in it. And it also has a little bit of like "yo man what's up."
Output: When you talk in the mid-atlantic it sounds like you're on the 8PM news.
Sir, if you could just let our family pass, we just want to go through the scary maze, slide down the Hill of Wonder and then go through the Marsh of Destruction. 
Output: At the Marsh of Destruction, we have to tell my daughter who fathered her.
You want a wet peach? I have this soaking wet barrel full of wet peaches.
Output: Oh, that's nice and damp. I like the little juice soul patch that happens when you bite into a wet peach.
This is actually not a cave, Stuart. Most of you blacked out when the wave hit.
Output: I sure did. I soiled myself and everything.
I noticed the poster is kind of ripped up around the edges. I think it's time to put it in the recycling.
Output: I think you're right. It's been hard to watch it age. The poster can barely stay on the wall.
I did kill mom. She wouldn't buy a bike.
Output: Dad, I would have thought that mom would've got a free bike.
I'm going to become a famous musician and get you back when I'm older.
Output: How do you plan to get me back. What kind of prank do you plan to pull?
He wants me to go to California with him.
Output: Don't you go with that man. I know your life will be terrible if you do it.
How many nerves did you hit when knocking out that patient's teeth?
Output: All of them.  I'm a very thorough dentist in my practice.
Look at those two grimy guys. Smoking and drinking on the field. It burns me up. I take this game seriously.
Output: You can't do anything about it, though, Skip.
Rachel, what is the most important thing you can do for a customer?
Output: Put on a happy smile and try your darndest.
Ms. LaPone, is there any way you could be in the picture with us and Mr. Takei? It would be a waste to have you take the picture.
Output: We've got some cameras here. We can set up a timer so everyone can be in the picture.
I'm such a fool.  I don't even know the difference between the name Pierre and the water brand Perrier.
Output: Warren, it's okay!  Don't be so hard on yourself!  They sound very similar, and don't think that kid's didn't make that connection when I was a child growing up in school.
Hon, I gotta go. I gotta expand my horizons.
Output: Listen, if this is what you need to do, then you do it. I mean, I didn't want to be a Pat anymore. And so now my name's Roberto, and it feels good.
People don't like me. They think I'm tricky Dick Nixon, right?
Output: Yeah, that's what they say in the papers. Actually, the radios and magazines also say it.
You've put a lot of hard work into your project, honey. I'm very proud of everything you've done.
Output: I put every waking hour into this volcano. I just hope to God that it erupts on cue, as planned.
Mamma, Mia! Here we go again!
Output: My, my! My hair looks just like your hair!
Jazz, what's wrong with your wrists and fingers?
Output: I grew up working in a massage parlor.
I also wanted to point out that I know the names of all the instruments.
Output: This is why I'd like you to start. I have one kneecap that is an eyesore and I'd like it removed.
We heard there is a queen out there. What queen?
Output: Oh, all the guys in this cast are queens.
We told him!
Output: We did.  You know what?  I regret nothing.  That guy; when I think about him, it gets under my skin.
I want to go to Full Sail.
Output: Okay. I have a lot of money under my mattress.
Hey Gwyneth, I know I'm not the mayor anymore, but would you be the first lady of my two bedroom apartment?
Output: Let me take off my shirt as a way of saying yes.
I saw you tried to apologize that customer and when you pulled him in, you said let's hug it out and you held him and you just held him for fifteen minutes.
Output: Yeah, he had a lot to hug out. He really needed someone to help him out.
Your kid Rick's up there? What is he, the lobster?
Output: Yeah, he's half lobster. His mom's a lobster. I'm my own race; only one of my kind.
You knew exactly what I was going to ask you.
Output: Yeah, you're one of those people who wears his heart on his sleeve, but you also wear your brain there, too.  It's like I can see what you're thinking and say it before you do.
Speaking of being dark, I've murdered your father.
Output: Oh, so your single?
You switched political religions. That's what I call them.
Output: Yeah, man. We don't have to talk about it though. Now I'm a conservative monster.
I don't know what color the button is. They change colors, look.
Output: Oh, that's new. Those are like, just Christmas lights.
Gayle, I need the key to the Michael Jackson box.
Output: Sure, let me just fish around for it. It's in this drawer somewhere.
Yeah, the weird thing is I kind of outgrew the asthma. It was a childhood affliction.
Output: Much like our lord outgrew being a shitty kid. I'm sorry, I'm very religious.
JJ, I didn't marry a quitter.
Output: I think you did, Sarah. Maybe you married a loser.
You seem to be training these animals to spy on human  beings.
Output: I'm gonna go speak with the manager. I must go do managerialness.
She picked a flower that I was allergic to. How do I not make that about me?
Output: You can still say that crocuses are pretty to look at.
Lieutenant Jenkins, the only way you will make it in this man's Navy is if I die.
Output: We'll see about that! You're hyperventilating, sir. You don't look well. Is this how you're going to die? You're going to hyperventilate into this bag, while I shove it onto your mouth with force?
I didn't say it was your diarrhea, Susan.
Output: Yes, I'll give you that. I have sat in several strangers' diarrhea in my lifetime.
I'm not going to send an officer to Houston's to see if there is a problem and prove that I'm wrong.
Output: You do it or you're out of the 9-11 business and I mean all around the country.
Miss, you gotta get off the floor.
Output: Thanks for checking to see if I was OK.
How could my wife be not coming to my show?  She comes to all my shows. She's my biggest fan.
Output: Your son called me. She was helping him with his bathing suit - he had it on wrong - and they got in a car accident. Your wife's not going to be here because she's, uh, going to live with Santa Claus.
Excuse me. Is this the right line to see the play? I am a theater critic reviewing this for the human times.
Output: Yes, I'm taking my granddaughter here.
Doctor, you son of a bitch. You haven't even been here two minutes and you fixed my marriage.
Output: Sometimes a sick pig lives inside of us. If we fix ourselves, the pig will fix itself.
I had fun officiating your wedding.
Output: Yes, it was so fun how you could just go online and it wasn't a big deal. You were so smart about finding the information on officiating a wedding.
Now Council, did ya'll see the part where there was a live sex act on the show?
Output: It made me want to shout watching all that in and out.
We're going to get up there before you guys. We're gonna make some toast up there, brother.
Output: Oh, yeah, we're gonna play golf up there. That's what we're going to do.
Hi. Can I help you young lady?
Output: Yeah, I was just looking at this wardrobe. I was wondering how I get to the kids attic.
Sassafras. Sassafras Lampshade. I'm part of a Lampshade Dynasty, but I left it to go on the road.
Output: Well, I guess both of us are kind of on the road now. My name is Gerald, I come from a Christian camp but I was let go from there. Now I've got to find retribution for my sinful wife.
Do you think we should invite everyone to eat the Poseidon's Delight with us?
Output: It is larger than I expected. I feel we could all have a feast after this terrible day.
Desiree, wishing joy for that stranger is a wonderful thing to wish for, and it's not my job as a service provider and technician to tell you how to use your wishes, but if I were you, I would think really hard.  Do I want to give the last wish I had, knowing that I already burned two without even thinking about it, on a stranger?  Now, I'm not saying you're right or wrong.  I'm just saying, think about it.
Output: I understand.  It's just that I'm feeling this burden of responsibility.  I would like to feel a little bit easy-come-easy-go with these wishes and, because I already used two, why not just give up the last one?  I don't want it.  I don't need it.  I want this strange man to feel like his life is worth something.  I mean, for God's sake, he's a fencing instructor.
I didn't bother studying much science.
Output: That's all right. I studied science for both of us.
You're stuttering and stammering.  Are you experiencing some sort of social anxiety?
Output: A little bit.  That and I'm standing on the edge of a building, about to jump off and feeling myself plummet to the Earth.
Well, we caught him red-handed with a computer, sending a personal email.
Output: On company time. In the break room.
Here we are, behind the honesty tree. It's gotten bigger since last year.
Output: That's because people are telling a lot of lies. It feeds it.
Before I sing, I'm really sorry because remember, I'm a horrible looser.
Output: Right. Maybe you shouldn't keep saying that.
I will take a cup of coffee and one cartoon of cigarettes to toot while I drink the one single cup of coffee.
Output: Sure. Just a carton? It's going to be a long day at work.
We're the same age though, my mom and me. We grew up together. It's weird.
Output: No judgement. I am a therapist, that's like my thing.
This camp only lasts the afternoon?
Output: It's what is commonly known as a day camp. You come in the day, you leave, you go sleep somewhere else. Because you know what? I'm not your mother. I'm not making a bed for you. You come here to learn skills. Namely the skills of how to talk meaningfully about music that you like.
Dan, will you cut up my food for me?
Output: Donna, I would be honored. I'm probably the best one to ask. Everyone else here is so self centered.
There's a huge crowd of people and we're all watching you.
Output: Yeah, we're just the only ones talking to you.
Come on now we didn't even feed you a meal. I don't know what you could possible be vomiting.
Output: It's acid, I have horrible gastrointestinal distress! You have to take me to the hospital.
Is there anything I should do to help find Donald?
Output: Just be there. We're using your wolf.
You're Reginald Grocery. In the flesh as I live and barely breathe.
Output: Yes, I was just coming by the store today to check on the employees. One of our stock boys, Vlad, he's celebrating his 30th year here at Grocery Store.
Excuse me, I was told that this science fair needed a celebrity judge. I'm Sylvester Stalone.
Output: Oh, my goodness! What a surprise. We'd never expect to see you here.
I'm sort of human, but mostly goat.
Output: I've known a fawn before. She beat me out for high school homecoming queen.
I noticed how all of your furniture is round like a doughnut, and any time there's an opportunity to put a hole in something, you've done it.
Output: I have, and that's real frosting on most of the surfaces.
Do you ship? We live in Connecticut. It's one of the fifty states.
Output: Yes, we ship to Connecticut. And I never assumed it was not part of the fifty states.
Here's you're frozé.
Output: Oh, just in time. I was about to turn into dust and grant a wish in a monkey-paw type situation.
Yeah, but he doesn't need to come back. You should stay. Look at how the kids respond to you.
Output: Well, I am married. But, I hate my wife.
Don't be scared. It's me, Budino.
Output: He's the pudding phantom.
Oh, I see over there on the counter by the register that you've got a list of today's deal and discounts, but it doesn't look like a chalkboard.
Output: Yeah, it's made of different material.  You don't use chalk on it.  It's this shiny material that's pretty amazing.  You can write on it like a chalkboard, but you're using a marker, and then you can erase it with a napkin.
Well, you've done it. You've killed your father.
Output: Mama, I just told him my dream to go to the galactic school of performing arts.
I just feel like if black people can have their own month, why can't giraffes have our own month?
Output: Maybe it won't happen in our lifetimes, but hopefully some day in the future there will be a giraffe history month.
That's exactly like the Mrs. White I knew from the "Hottest Science Teacher" show. She's not a winner.
Output: At least she gave us the reset thing that we use to this day.
Oh my god, that was beautiful, Mr. Buffett.
Output: I'll make sure we sing that song any time anyone has a birthday at the restaurant.
I know. My name is Janet Jacobson, and I am an evil creature hunter. You have a creature of lore in your midst going around granting wishes. Why are you protecting her?
Output: She's a really good customer.
Your majesty, Kay. I have to select a piece of jewelry for my true love to buy for me. I would love your opinion.
Output: I would love to give it. Have you heard of the troll bead?
We got married right away. It was a busy day at Tommy Bahama. You wore your best cream shirt, and you wore your best tan.
Output: We were almost like camouflage, you couldn't tell either of us apart.
This is your captain. I forgot to tell you, we have begun our descent and landed.
Output: I stood up that whole plane. I was running up and down the aisle that whole trip. Seatbelts are a myth. I don't need to be strapped in.
I'm just noticing this now, uh, getting into my shoes.
Output: Well, you just should mop things up here, and then I'll see what's going on at the tank. All right? Can you handle that?
Everyday Renee. Every day she likes to play. That's why they call her Renee.
Output: Yeah, OK. I didn't come here to engage in slut shaming. I'm trying to get back to my normal human height.
Please, help my husband. We just got married, I don't want to be a widow so soon.
Output: We've been married for three weeks.
What do you want, Principal Gumbers?
Output: You were very rude out there. Anthony, I've had problems with you all year long.
Technically, they're all the same character playing all different ages and different interpretations.?
Output: What the fuck are you talking about?  Weird things I don't understand.  We're under attack by these five crazy ladies with superpowers.
See, we all have secrets I guess.
Output: Okay, I'm sorry. You're more upset about me not seeing Captain Phillips and lying about it than throwing up on you three times.
My name is Eve.
Output: Like from the Bible? That's my favorite book.
I'm sorry.  I'm your server, and I just want to let you know we're down to the last two pieces of roast beef.  We're now in the middle of Act 2, so there's nothing we can do.
Output: Well, can I lodge a complaint?  I thought it was all-you-can-eat.  We came in because it was you could eat.
Little brother I'm tired of you copying me all the time you always repeating everything I say and doing everything that I do
Output: Say that again I can't hear a word you're saying I lost most of my hearing back in Nam.
I didn't realize the act of eating was on the table.
Output: Well, it wasn't until I heard that story about food, and now I'm getting hungry.
The movie will make you cry even more than the comic book did.
Output: Forest Whitaker makes me cry. His eye is always tearing.
I hope I meet a really, really cute boy today.
Output: Oh Jennifer, you will. You're going to meet the boy of your dreams here.
Are you attempting to bribe a state official with chopped onions?
Output: We have so much chopped onions. We don't know that word bribe, what does it mean?
Alright, everybody. Get in here. Kids come in for free. Come on up kids, I'm gonna tell you a story.
Output: He's telling stories over there. That's not even part of the miniature golf experience.
Beverly, I haven't seen you since that Vlassic pickles commercial audition.
Output: I just beat you out for it,  you scamp. Clearly, I have more experience with pickles.
I think it's very topical.  You can't have a thing where most of the thing's about blood and not reference HIV and AIDS.
Output: I mean, I just never thought about that with the Dracula story, but there's a lot of blood that's mentioned.
I hope one of ya'll will take over my restaurant and do it right.
Output: Like run the restaurant and not kill people.
I did take bathroom breaks. When I used to smoke, I used to go outside.
Output: That's a good way to break up the monotony of a long day.
Well, no. He's saying he got left behind. He's been here.
Output: I've been in the aquarium since two days ago.
Mr. and Mrs. Richington, this is the area of the stadium that we'll clear out and put in luxury seats.
Output: I love the idea of people paying for things.
Well, I suppose that should be it, then.?
Output: Yes, I'm jumping overboard.  Goodbye, Earth!
I know he was like a villain, but then at the end you felt bad and it's like, oh man, that could be anyone of us, right?
Output: Yeah, I could have been here.  I could have been a supernatural creature sucking blood.  Like, if I just made different choices.
We are from Prior Lake.
Output: Yeah, I sorta figured that with the way you're dressed.
That's one thing we can agree on. When the McRib comes to town, I'm first in line.
Output: And the same with the Shamrock Shake. Did I ever tell you how I saved Ireland?
It tells other males in the kitchen to get out of my way.
Output: Well, okay.  I mean, you're the boss, Applesauce.
We just blinked into existence a few moments ago.
Output: I saw you guys blink. It was crazy. I've been here awhile, myself.
The return policy here is amazing.
Output: If you change your mind within five minutes of buying your ticket, you get your money back in full.
That murder was pretty gruesome to watch.
Output: But, it was pretty cool because you got the bell house out of it.
You just want to go through the door and jiggle the handle just a little bit. If a guy comes in, just say "I'm in here!".
Output: Oh, I'm not ready for men to walk in on me in the bathroom yet.
And I am willing to have sex with someone.
Output: Rita, that's so forward. I'll have sex with you if you want. Were you looking at me, or?
Hey guys, I got all the stuff from your rider - the contact rider - here in the box here. So I'll just it out an you can identify it as you go.
Output: Thanks Gort.
You are early risers. Normally, we don't get customers right here at noon when we open.
Output: Yeah we were trying to figure out the best way to see most of Houston and we see a restaurant named Houstons and we thought we'd kill two birds with one stone.
Junebug, be quiet under those stairs.
Output: OK, mommy.
How about this? There's a lot of Springfield's out there. They're pulling a Greenland - they don't got springs or fields and they're trying to trick people. We're the real deal. So it's going to be like "You tried the rest, now try the best."
Output: We're the Real Deal Spring Field. I like the sound of that.
Yes, there's the ice maker and the water in the front of the fridge. Crushed and cubed.
Output: Oh boy, that is that going to be expensive to ship.
Well, maybe if you shift your expectations a little bit.
Output: What if, in order to right this old wrong, we get on what I assume is your scooter, because this is Madrid. And he artfully respectfully stops at a stop sign here, and you can watch it and feel satisfied, will that kill your murderer urge?
That's a lovely story, but your eyes are bloodshot red. I really think you should probably go to bed.
Output: I'm just pushing along. I'm just going to stand here and hold myself up on the counter until I fall over.
Are you holding the fortune from the fortune cookie we gave you Devin?
Output: Who is the rightful owner of this fortune cookie?
So, you're replacing the organ with an Iphone and then you're going to change this place into a Wal-mart?
Output: It's a three step process.
All right, we got one more for you. This is the final saxophone song that I'm going to play on the aforementioned saxophone.
Output: Oh, Trumpet Davis, you're so amazing.
Sounds good, but you gotta do the books 'cause if it's up to me, it's ending up in a mall fountain.
Output: It'll go somewhere where it's super dry, where there's no fountains at all. The American southwest.
Captain, I feel like we're getting ahead of ourselves. We only know one student that's aware of the situation. Why don't we contain the student and his drunkard parents.
Output: So, you're saying we should detain this student?
So, you got it in you're mind's eye? OK, now, fill up all the holes in the sponge with other parts of sponge. But not the parts of sponge that have holes.?
Output: So it's like a Swiss cheese that ain't got no holes in it? It's just cheese.
These swans have been alive four times. They're eternal swans.
Output: Like a cat has nine lives. And the swans, they become incorporeal spirits who are reborn again four times again.
Hey, isn't it time for our five minute break from work?
Output: Yes, that's true. Union rules. This is a non-union store but I adhere to them.
Welcome to the first day of plumbing class. What you learn today will get you through the rest of your life.
Output: I really hope some day to be a professional plumber, not just a student plumber.
Paid leave. That sounds quiet nice. How recently would my husband have had to die for me to take, say, two years off?
Output: Two years? This ain't Eat, Pray, Love, y'all. I'm not going to give you two years.
You probably brought that rat from Prior Lake.
Output: Jesse Ventura never would have said anything to us like that.
We found out that Clark invented the grilled cheese sandwich and he set fire to Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.
Output: I like this guy. I wish he'd revealed that during the chef test.
The rides, it's a safety issue. You have to be a certain height to be able to ride the ride.
Output: Here's a Velcro vest we got to help her stick to the seat. We take it everywhere. You will not be liable for any injuries. Mama's been injured a lot but she's still with us.
I love this house. Having four walls like this is something I ain't never experienced before.
Output: I want to get in that pool, as well. This is just huge.
They're made of corn cobs, they're an American tradition of poor people playing with dried food.
Output: They're deteriorating before my eyes.
What is going on? Party? Why, Belinda? You betrayed me as landlord.
Output: I just was trying to have a little fun. Ever been there?
I made spaghetti.
Output: Is it OK if I put a little gasoline in that?
We now know the puppet is a woman despite saying "I'm a little puppet man."
Output: I'm a man puppet with a woman's soul inside me. So I identify as a man now.
I mean, how different is sea glass from ground glass?
Output: Well, sea glass is a naturally occurring phenomenon and it's pretty. What you're collecting is just litter.
Alright, Cran. Here's your pumpkin foot toughy. It's on the house.
Output: I didn't want it before and I still don't want it, but thank you.
How is the cheese ear situation going?
Output: The first person we gave the cheese ear to was Mike Tyson. He had a fight and Evander Holyfield bit part of it off.
Oh, Mrs. Mayor. I'm so sorry. Let me remove my apron.
Output: You know what, it's actually really OK. I realize that, you know, in my past I liked being the only one naked. Now that everyone's naked, I feel like maybe I don't like it anymore.
Look, we got this ghost that Steven Tyler stabbed 13 years ago.
Output: I remember that case. Very controversial ruling. He scatted. Walked away scot-free. You think the would have thrown out the case after the judge said "Sold!" instead of "Not Guilty."
You two are clearly brother and sister because you look exactly alike and you share a haircut.
Output: I went to his Fantastic Sams because I guess that's a regional hair place.
You think I'm offering you a ride when I say "do you want to go?" I'm going to kick your ass.
Output: Please, somebody hold Tony back.
Walter, why is it your curse to walk this other worldly spirit form and Linda doesn't have this curse?
Output: I never thought about that. Is it possible that her business was finished?
It's a bit of a mystery. You think Tipsy-Topsy, and your mind goes to topsy-turvy. But then you get to the Tipsy-Topsy dimension and it's like no, everything's right.
Output: They were around the corner from naming Shipsy-Shapsey.
Hi, I'm Jeremy's dad.
Output: Hi. I'm Ronnie. I have a clipboard.
Wow, we really wasted no time in getting out the door.
Output: Well, we're quick. We're race car people.
I'm sorry the boombox thing is confusing. I couldn't find 18 D batteries, so it's not playing any music.
Output: Gotta be a lot lighter though. Right friend?
Well, kind looks like a frog, I guess. A frog, I guess crossed with...
Output: Rick Perry? The governor of Texas?
Man, I can't wait to be Pink Panther.
Output: You can't wait to be Pink Panther? What, are you going to move up from the security locker to being a character at the park?
That's why I put that compact mirror on my chest, so people could see that I was alive.
Output: I love that you took the time to do that, but we're going to have to let you go.
Well, you can watch stuff on Netflix anytime. The special on the high school football team the Falconers was appointment television.
Output: I had made an appointment with myself. I realized I haven't been treating myself and I've been self doubting and putting things aside. So last night I decided to have a "me" night.
Hey, Boss. This is Tabitha. She's the one that wrote the Satan book. Tabitha, tell us three of those good jokes.
Output: Well, the truth is my husband ghost wrote the book.
Alan, let's give everyone a quick refill.
Output: Indeed, everyone seems to have finished off their wines already and the group therapy session just began.
They don't call you Cookie because you don't eat random things that people put in your mouth. Am I right?
Output: Well, my mom was from Berkeley.
We're not doctors. Not quite. I took a semester.
Output: I didn't think so. Most doctors aren't holding hands with the other doctors.
So many empty peach baskets. Get them out of here. We ate all the peaches.
Output: Well I just wish someone would put those peach baskets up high where I didn't have to look at them.
Hey, since you know your wife so well, can you put in a word for me? Like, find out what her deal is?
Output: Well, I can save you some time. Her deal is, she's married to me.
Anyway, this is our top model. It's a four by four vent air duct system. It won Space's Next Top Model.
Output: We're going to need several of these for the spaceship.
Sorry, I just don't understand why whether my mother loved me enough is pertinent to the shirt I'm here to get.
Output: Well, I think it's knowing more about your personality and what kind of shirt you want to present to the world, you know?
What are you talking about? I didn't rip that song off.
Output: Oh, don't act like you don't see TV when you come to life, trash can.
I will use my skill and trade Dwight Howard to the Nuggets.
Output: That sounds good. Just make sure you get us a good player in return.
I can hold both your gloves. It's a full service boxing gym.
Output: Why, thank you. I'd like to unburden myself of these gloves.
Listen, I bet you thought it was smart to install these phones in the confessional.
Output: I'll tell you what, I like to use the phones to lean on.
I think we should barge in there and talk to Scarcrest and we find out what's going on.
Output: Scarcrest, Ritchie, I think you're absolutely right. We gotta find out the truth once and for all.
I just want to say something to all of you. You all have thought me so much in the short time we had. Carol, you named me.
Output: You changed me. You gave me a purpose.
Some say that the ghosts of the performer's past still walk the rafters. So, keep an eye out and an ear out.
Output: OK. I just want you to know that best case scenario, I am insanely moved and I don't buy this place and you guys are still broke.
Should we go back out to Mom and Dad or do you need more time to poop?
Output: You know what, Felicity? I think I just got done.
I don't know side of the cup is right on the wrong side of the tracks.
Output: It must be the other way, because this way I can only hear myself.
Listen, I need you to do me a favor.
Output: I'm your manager. I can do anything.
Terry Brown, what are you still doing at home? Kiss your mother on the lips for ten seconds and go to school.
Output: I don't really want to. Why do I have to kiss her for ten seconds?
Babe, I need a vitamin or something. This is really tripping me out.
Output: OK. Prayer is vitamin. So, just take a second and pray.
I know I'm naked. I'm aware of a breeze.
Output: You should feel ashamed.
Ray-ray, is there a problem? Is this the man we're looking for?
Output: This is him, Celeste. He's a discount Wreck-it Ralph and he's been selling children all over the place.
This is crazy. This place is upside down and bananas.
Output: This place is nowhere near the status of Greg's golf course.
What about Captain Planet? Are you guys friends?
Output: Oh, God. I'm a real captain in the United States Navy. I drive a whale sometimes.
Dr., my son is the worst. Is there anything you can do?
Output: Yes, I can throw him into the ocean. That should help his attitude.
We'd love to have an Aid Man movie.
Output: If I may, I'd like to suggest Forest Whitaker. He's fat and he's trustworthy.
I can see Denise drinking something from the cabinet and then throwing up. Is she drinking chemicals?
Output: Yes, she's drinking chemicals because she can't afford alcohol.
This Michael Jackson doll is actually talking on his own. I've never seen anything like it.
Output: There's nothing like me. I'm a Michael Jackson ventriloquist dummy. I've come to life.
Lady, I'm going to tear you up and wear you like a tube top!
Output: Whatever you need to do in order to feel successful as a human being.  I'm just going to hug you until you feel loved and accepted.
Make sure you ask a lot of questions when you're there. Just find out about their lives and everything. If you can, try not to let them ask you too many questions unless you got your backstory, like, good and tight.
Output: I was thinking maybe I'm from Alsatian, like on the German-French Border, you know?
Has he been recording his findings in a binder of some kind? If so, that sounds more like an experiment.
Output: The man is drunk. You two were having an affair and you used a binder and all of a sudden it was OK.
You look you're ready to have fun. Your eyes look very positive. Both of them.
Output: Your pupils look very dilated with fear.
They're going to run out of oxygen.
Output: I added a 20% supply buffer as well. They're burning through this. Oxygen, food, everything they need to stay alive up there is almost gone.
What'd you see out there in the camp?
Output: Those two teens are just drinking lots of blood. They almost spat it on each other. That was going to be cool.
You guys, there's other people on another hill that I'm pretty sure are the parallel of us in some sort of weird way. There's trouble on that hill too.
Output: OK. We should attack this other hill with our weapons and fists.
What circle of hell am I condemned to?
Output: Oh, probably the one where jazz covers of your favorite pop songs play all the time.
Since my promotion, I'm not a Sargent anymore. You're the Sargent.
Output: Oh, yeah. You're the Chief Inspector. How come you haven't changed the plaque on your desk yet?
I feel a little bad about that. He was trying to connect.
Output: He did a bad job, though. He lied to us about being able to move boxes and then he said he just wanted to make friends. We told him about a friend club, he was outta here like a shot.
Why wouldn't you recommend going into the concert?
Output: Well, there's like a fellowship that happens out here in the parking lot. We're like a community, you know?
I'm so glad we're going to have a baby.
Output: Oh God, I'm so happy you can still have babies at your age.
Kush party? Like that ball that Rosie O'Donnell use to throw at people?
Output: Oh yeah, exactly. Well, she's my cousin. So we have a ton of them in the garage.
Perhaps I wouldn't be so sad if my parents paid more attention to me.
Output: Well that's not going to happen, you are the most boring creature I have ever met.
Hey, Tad, hand me that sextant.
Output: Yes, Captain. This is more than a sextant, Captain.
Do you need us to help you find your friends?
Output: I would love it. I have one quarter of a Starbucks egg salad sandwich. To be honest, I'm starving, but I'd rather not eat it.
I lost all my money so I'm here for this inheritance now.
Output: It doesn't feel fair that you can even be here for that. You lost 20 million dollars.
Is that because you're wearing suede and it's going to rain?  Because that's the only reason I could think for your mood to change so dramatically.?
Output: It doesn't breathe right.  All the moisture collects in all the crevices and the nooks and the crannies.
Divorcing your parents is called emancipation, not ex-communication. That's for the church.
Output: I am my child's church.
Mindy, what brings you to the Grand Old Opry. You're all dressed up. Are you supposed to be performing here tonight?
Output: Actually, yes. I won a twitter lottery. I tweeted every single day, 24  times an hour and I got picked. I'm going to sing tonight. I'm hoping Cynthia will like me.
You mean Jurassic Park is going to come true?
Output: I think so. Through genetic testing, splicing and some top notch engineering, we have no idea what the future holds for us.
Occupants of the maze. You all received an invitation to come here a few weeks ago.It is an experiment to see who will survive.
Output: I will! I will be the one to survive and win this game.
Rudy, you were dead right. The killer was in this room and yet we were still so shocked.
Output: OK. I got those baked lays you wanted.
If you ask me questions three, older than you I shall be.
Output: You just solved the next riddle that we hadn't even asked yet.
I like when Baskin Robbins just has three people in it and I know two of the people, and then I get to know the third.
Output: Yeah, like I want the number of flavors to be ten times the number of people in the Baskin Robbins. That's when I'm most comfortable.