niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
Oh, my dark Lord. I just wanted to say thanks for having me.
Output: No problem. It gets kind of empty down here, you know?
Now, do be careful. He's trying to get you to play his game to lose your valuables.
Output: Oh please, Percy, I come from a gambling family. That's how granny made all of her money. Off of molasses. She won it in a bet.
What if I wanted to serve a manatee?
Output: You could serve a manatee, but you better have the great barrier reef on call.
I would definitely go to a shop that was going to maybe give me $1 million dollars
Output: Well, I would too. Oh, the things I could do if I had $1 million dollars.
You stay on the island, OK? Find your dad.
Output: You looking for a dad? I miss my son.
Kurt was a good kid and he accomplished a lot for a 12 year old.
Output: He did. He tried out for the NBA and of course you have to be a certain age to get into the NBA, so that didn't happen. But, he did start his own basketball league.
The last address I have for Beth is in Des Moines, Iowa.
Output: That's what her Facebook page says.
I love these little bowls.
Output: Oh, thank you. Those are very popular. We sell a lot of those little bowls.
Is that a shard from a dark crystal?
Output: Yes. That's also my middle name. Crystal. Carl Crystal Slider.
Good Evening. Table for 2, I'm assuming?
Output: Yes, we'd like to sit in the garden.
Well, just hop in and we'll just drive around. I'm sure that will speed it up.
Output: Do you mind if I just move all these Big Mac boxes?
Greetings to you travelers on a mystic journey. Look down at me, your asthma inhaler. I will be your guide on this journey of enlightenment.
Output: Peggy, I have a feeling we're about to embark on a strange and wondrous journey.
Josephenia, now, where are you going?
Output: He wants me to go to California with him.
We'll have sushi there for them to eat.
Output: We'd have high end sushi, like the kind Clooney would eat.
And I can't chose reading, right? That's one of those wish laws?
Output: That's true, that's the one rule. 'Cause you really have to learn that. That's the one thing.
Kids, can I tell you something about that painting of me?
Output: You painted that painting yourself? You have paint all over you.
Paul got his jacket just for the show, I can tell.
Output: He got a special intro jacket?
We got you installed as the manager of this place so you could shut down any queries, tell people to get back to work and if they have time to lean, they have time to clean.
Output: Well, I told them no more queries and they threw a gay pride parade.
Fine, I'm getting out of the car because I've run out air in here, not because you want me to.
Output: That's fine. I guess you're the big winner.
Do you ever get to come out of the tree?
Output: I can come out of the tree, but I like to stay in there.
Oh, Trumpet Davis, you're so amazing.
Output: Hey Trumpet Davis, are you sure you're just passing through? You can't, I don't know, play here for a couple of nights a week?
Yes, and I just need a rear view mirror, and I need to get back to the hospital.
Output: Well, it seems to me what you need to do is dance.
It's been a wild and crazy day. My husband and I were just running through the forest earlier today and something really scary came up behind us. We just need help. We want to get out of here.
Output: Oh, we're both doctors. Can we help you? Are you in actual danger?
I didn't ask for anything. Are you ladies OK?
Output: Kill him, Karen. Kill him! He knows too much.
How do I look? I'm all dressed up for my play date.
Output: You look you're ready to have fun. Your eyes look very positive. Both of them.
I've never seen a movie, I grew up in a very religious household.
Output: Oh, I mean, me too kind of. We were just summertime Buddhists. Were you guys year-round something or others?
Thadeous brought his own Dyson. A Dyson, Mr. Seacrest.
Output: That's an expensive vacuum.
You're going back to VHS? You're not even going to do Blue-Ray?
Output: Here in Brooklyn? Yes, of course I'm only doing VHS.
Did the poor people mug you in the back of the plane?
Output: They certainly tried to. I could feel their greedy eyes all over me and my bag of money.
No, no, about your Twitter account. Do you want to have a Twitter account, an official account here for the aquarium?
Output: OK, yeah. Uh, I could see that really helping my brand.
Do you think we need to tell Felicity the truth?
Output: You mean, tell her that she's 28 and not 8?
Karlt, there's something else you have to know before you go to Palm Springs.
Output: Dad, I'm literally two blocks away.
Mr. Crimp, this is the most you've ever talked to me.
Output: Right, because you're making me do it.
Are you fucking dickheads gonna order? I didn't come to the fucking beach to listen to you guys talk about a fucking acting class. I'm surrounded by actors in New York.
Output: Yeah, we want our fish. Give us some fucking fish.
Craig, I'll abide. I'll escort you outside.
Output: Oh, you seem like my kind of lady.
We have a bigger problem than we thought on our hands.
Output: Yeah, the guy has mind powers or something.
We have an officer of the law present here, that can say the way this transaction works is we have to have those movies back. They're the property of the store, you merely rented them.
Output: Well, that ain't my job. It's Maybelline's job. My second wife. She returns movies, that's her job.
The voice command of the x-ray machine seems to be working. It's scanning.
Output: My husband's back to normal. I'm back to normal. I can feel my hands again.
What are you typing right now?
Output: It's just some notes. I need to get groceries.
You've probably hurt other people too.
Output: Oh, yeah, lots of them. Look at all of these things I've taken.
So, you're the one holding the grudges, but people are coming back to you.
Output: Yes, I'm the one holding them. I don't get it either.
It's not Miss Fizzial. I wrote it on the board. It's Missfizzial.
Output: I know but I erased it and changed the laters and now it's Miss Fizzial.
When you live in a tiny home, you don't have room for one yo-yo, much less six.
Output: Yeah, I wish I could yo-yo, but I'd break a window.
He's just our middle brother. He's never gotten a job. We tried to prop him up with this cool story.
Output: Middle children always have trouble.
Why it's me, Robert Vaughn.
Output: Oh sure, Mr. Vaughn, there's a carton cigarettes here for you. I've got seven cartons, one for each of the Magnificent Seven.
Sorry, I just got excited.
Output: I know, it's just, you are still a stranger and we're just on a train platform. And when someone rushes at you, I've seen too many movies where someone kills someone by shoving them in front of the train. Haven't you seen that?
I'm going to keep your story to myself because no one can know you're the US Marshall on this plane.
Output: Well, I am in an emergency row, so there's that.
Yeah, we have to find a storm cloud that is the storm cloud that connects to the past storm cloud and ride through the storm cloud. Can either of you fly?
Output: Not really. But I know an angel who can.
Baby, you gonna work all day or are we going to have lunch?
Output: First I'm trying to get the pop out of this mushroom and I'm also trying to talk to Timothy.
Well, I'm very lucky to have you on my book, Mr. President. Thank you very much. You know, this is a honor for me. I almost voted for you.
Output: I almost voted for me, too, but couldn't find my way to the ballot box.
It so nice of the English lady to offer me her jacket. I just figured she didn't need it.
Output: Right. By offered, you mean you just grabbed it.
We're going to decorate the hell out of this place for the party. We're going to have lots of utensils and burners.
Output: I'm bringing the grease so they can cook.
New instruments are so expensive. So, I thought I'd get a used sextant.
Output: You're blaming it on the sextant, Tad? That's not an apology.
I'm enjoying this theater class so much that I want to hear from the teacher. It felt like he had an idea and hasn't spoken.
Output: Oh, all I was going to say, you know, as we're waiting for Frank to get back. Um, Roger, I think maybe we'll try something different. What if we were to cover you with some sort of salve, would that allay your phobia of silk robes?
Full Sail is in Orlando, Florida.
Output: And you want to go there? Florida's awful. You should rethink that.
This dog wandered into our yard and was eating out of our trash.
Output: It's good to start calling it a dog so that you can eventually forget it's a wild animal.
I'm sorry we've kept you from the concert for so long. You're just really fascinating.
Output: It's alright. I'll be honest with you. I'm not really familiar with Yngwie Malmsteen.
Your eyes are lovely. No too close to the nose.
Output: It's sometimes worse when people's eyes are too far away from the nose.
Well, we have a long history.
Output: We used to work together at a Quiznos many years ago.
Hey, Jake. No one asked you here. Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier?
Output: It's pronounce Jeff. And why don't you make like a lamp and turn off?
Oh no, if we ask him too many questions he'll think we don't know what we're doing.?
Output: I know we could use our job at the cold storage facility.
Rudy, that's what you mean when you said it didn't go well? You didn't get to do your list of outdated slurs?
Output: I had another 150 left to do.
Is that an Italian yellow rose attached to your lapel?
Output: It is a yellow rose. It's my wife's favorite flower.
I'm sorry, Smash-it-up Steven. There's blood on your ankle bracelet.
Output: Yeah, sorry about that. They won't let me take it off.
We flip houses. Well, we used to.
Output: The economy. It's been a bad time to buy houses.
I found her online.
Output: That was quick!  You found the prostitute mother that I may or may not have murdered with my fangs.
We only have one dugout. Both of the teams hang out there.
Output: What? This is outrageous. Everyone's just packed in like sardines?
I'm confused.  The air is really moist.
Output: Oh, uh, I have a disease that prevents me from absorbing moisture in my throat.
This material is garbage, David.
Output: I also think Billy Jr. is not trying very hard.
I heard you talking about the cod.
Output: You hit that D hard on the cod. I sense some acting training.
Should I go make the bed?
Output: That's very presumptuous, but very modern.
Your fish is ready. It'll be $400.
Output: Oh god. Do you take traveler's checks?
I was just gonna ask Lilith. You feel like going on tour with me, maybe with a few other ladies who like to play music?
Output: I could do Irish melodies mixed with rock.
This is a medical hospital.
Output: We understand, There's a big sign outside.
What are you doing? You're breaking the fourth wall here.
Output: I know, but you already did. Don't you see, Dad? It's all of us out here. The audience has become part of the play.
Your name is Toadstool, like the mushroom? It grows in moist climates.
Output: I thought I'd come here to dry out because I'm a toadstool and an alcoholic.
Oh, I'm sorry.  Am I bothering you?
Output: I'm just trying to get a little bit of sleep.
Hello, Rodney.
Output: Hey Calista. Hey Calisto.
He couldn't answer his phone like that if he weren't really Ryan Seacrest.
Output: That would be weird. I guess he must be Ryan Seacrest.
You know, I feel like our priorities are out of whack. We're at the bottom of the ocean. I let you not refer to me as Captain, which is completely non-protocol. And we're updating Facebook profiles when we should be getting to the top of the ocean.
Output: I guess it's good we're still getting WiFi though.
Daryl, you are the only person that's come by to place a bid.
Output: That's true. One fellow came by one time and we thought he was going to place a bid, but that's not what he ended up doing.
Everybody's got a good friend. Everybody says that their friend's got a herniated disc. When they are the one with the herniated disc.
Output: I do have a bit of a lower back pain.
I don't know what has happened. I've been in a fog this entire time.
Output: Me too, but I'm so glad to wake up in a celebrity's shack.
I am an O.A.R. Olympic Athlete from Russia.
Output: So that's what they call you guys? Olympic athletes from Russia. But you're not part of the Russian team?
I'm a little bit of a werewolf, I'm a little bit of a werebear, I'm a little bit of a half-orc fighter. Someday I hope to level up and be a paladin.
Output: Sir, let me interrupt you for one second there. How can we help you here at the Cracker Barrel? We don't really get werewolves in here.
Alright, first day of class. This is Tina's acting class. Treneace, I want you to do a scene that you feel inspired by.
Output: Okay, I always liked fish until they killed my mom. Fish killed my mom. Mama, no, the fish killed you.
Listen, we should probably take those colors out of your hair and see how that perm turned out.
Output: Oh my god, who said permanents are over? They are so not.
OK, you think they look the same. So we put your card next to the official comment cards. And you can see that that they're different shape and size.
Output: I have astigmatism. They'll always look different to me.
Do you have The Chosen Wife on DVD or Blu-Ray. That sounds like a movie.
Output: Do you mean The Rich Man's Wife? The Rich Man's Wife we have.
To be honest, mama, we came out here because we just weren't sure if you were alive or not.
Output: Yeah, we wanted to check before we burn the town down to its foundations.
Time's a circle and everything is one.
Output: You keep saying that but I don't understand what it means.
Honey, I don't want to fight you. And I don't want to fight your past.
Output: Me neither. I just want us to have a future. Maybe some kids before it's took late.
Guys, I need to apologize about the text I sent you. 
Output: Honestly, it was so long that I didn't bother reading most of it.
I understand you're a child.  You shouldn't talk to me in such a way.  You should show respect.
Output: You got me.  I shouldn't do that.  Not if I don't want my allowance suspended.
We also did the first open heart surgery and the stop light sign.
Output: Why? Why would they let us perform open heart surgery?
There's still one wish left. I guess, Bobby, it's yours.
Output: Well, Mr. Denny doesn't own this Dennys anymore.  I guess I'd like to own this Dennys.
I sure hope people come to shop, otherwise we're not going to make rent.
Output: We're really not. Why did we ever decide to open this business? There's only one cabin nearby.
I know.  They're taller than us and even us standing on each others shoulders.
Output: They look like they can touch the sky!  Scrape it, even!
You want to buy all the Hamilton soundtracks? Do they do a new one for each show?
Output: That's the feeling I got. It was so in the moment that anything could change.
Do you want me to write a note and tell the citizens that is how you are sleeping?
Output: You know what that is a great idea Rodney just write in the note dear citizens we are sleeping head to head.
So Vivian, tell me. What kind of glasses are you getting here at LensCrafters?
Output: I'm just looking for something, you know, that adds a certain je ne sais quoi to my quoi, do you know what I mean?
I personally would be thrilled to transfer there along with some of my coworkers, if you would be open to it. Certain people I work very well here with.
Output: We like to work together, the two of us, we find we have a good sweeping and moping system, I Windex and he catches whatever falls.
Captain Carol, we're being boarded by another ship.
Output: Oh, yay! Let them on. This will be fun.
How was that Rita? Do you feel less murderous now?
Output: I feel lightheaded. I've lost too much blood.
You gave me two chapters on status last year.
Output: I did, but it was only to appease you. I thought maybe you'd go away. I didn't expect us to have such a long relationship.
Guilty. Of loving this show! Graduation approved.
Output: That's my boy up there. And I couldn't be prouder of him.
What are you saying, Marjorie? Are we no longer married?
Output: Curtis, I know it's a sin and it's a scandal, but I would like to file for divorce. Maybe we should go to Reno.
So, with this movie, there won't be any trailer or any pay.
Output: I'm in. Let's do it. It will really get me in the mindset of Aid Man.
Don't undersell yourself.?
Output: No, I won't walk into that trap.  You try to get me to be right and, all of a sudden, the next thing I know, I'm on the dingy.
Ahoy there, look from the other side of the river!
Output: Hello! It's amazing I have never seen anyone on the other side of the river before. It must have take 100 people to get you across there.
Was Robby the older Bernstein Bear that ran off to college that we never met?
Output: Yes, of course. He's like the oldest daughter on the Cosby show.
I just gave you a kiss on the cheek. I know I move really slow, but it's actually me moving incredibly fast.
Output: You are moving incredibly fast. I don't usually kiss on the cheek until December, but I feel like I'm breaking some rules today of my own.
Are they going to get up from their table probably?
Output: We'll just eat what they were having.
This pen is really important to you? This was awhile ago.
Output: It was a fountain pen. If it was like a BIC or whatever, I wouldn't worry about it. But, I paid money for this pen.
Dean, you'll have to wait. Your bother will have to go first, because you're going in size order.
Output: That's fair. He's older, so he should go first.
But now I'm wearing one of them union suit undershirts under my overalls. So it's like a good temperature for me.?
Output: OK, so we're both comfortable, but them dead chickens - I think they need to be colder than this.
Wait. Are you doing Celsius again?
Output: Yes. I am. You know I'm Canadian.
You said a snake ate your string cheese.
Output: There was a snake in there, but snakes ain't got no hands! You gotta pull the string cheese apart.
Anonda, he's the man of your dreams. He's fixing my typewriter.
Output: Look how he's fixing it. He knows what kind of wood it is.
I told you I wasn't old. I have the spirit of a young lady.
Output: It's all that paint you eat. Oh, I love you so much.
You named yourself, right? And you raised yourself. You killed a zombie. You saved someone's life.
Output: Don't ever tell me what I did right. I only respond to negative affirmations.
Janice's husband is the father of that little Little League girl.
Output: That's right, Janice's husband Jonathan.
Well, if you're not interested in self help, we have Hardy Boys.
Output: I will choke you out right now for suggesting that. You better suggest something else, bookworm.
It feels weird to outgrow a friend, you know?
Output: Yeah, but like, he's bad. I can't count how many sweatpants brunches he's done. Where he makes everyone wear sweatpants to go to the brunch.
I don't need to explain my personal body to you.
Output: She only brings her business body to work. Her personal body stays at home.
Oh, who else is coming to dinner?
Output: Well, the Base 2 commander said that he's a maybe, a solid maybe.
Yeah, there are boxes in factories too, that's fair. But this is a warehouse, Junebug.
Output: Honestly I didn't know there was a difference.
This was a terrible idea of mine that you put all of your money into!
Output: I know!  It's a worse idea than the hot dog stand in the back of the theme park!
That's what you get for bothering Tom Wolfe during production of Big River.
Output: A stabbing? What the hell is wrong with you?
That's the young lady that transported me to your time of 2017.
Output: Oh, right. She's the one that disappeared and then came back. I can't wait to see what she's got to say.
Your wife is getting a bit uppity.
Output: Well, I know, but that will soon change because she's going to join me in my reconstruction business.
Yorgy could walk so early. He does his own laundry.
Output: I came dancing out of the womb.
It's disgusting.  I can hear those kids slobbering and mumbling through their wire mesh masks.
Output: Well, they can also act as spit guards, then.  Dual purpose!
I'll just put the sandals on, I guess.
Output: You don't have to go back there to put the sandals on. You can put them on here. It's probably faster.
Morning, Tom.
Output: Good morning Meredith. How are you today?
Hey, G. Gordon Liddy, do you know the General over here?
Output: Yeah, we go way back. I killed a few...helped him with a few problems.
Thank you, Targin. It's going to be a nice Christmas now that they're gone.
Output: It sure is, with our three boys and our crow painting.
We should give away our baby and the baby's name.
Output: Oh, good call!  Then, our marriage will get better!
OK, the thing for me is - part of him knows that it's wrong. If he's able to say, if the character he is creating is able to tell him that it's a figment of his imagination...
Output: Yes, in the story. He's got the manatee saying "You're delusional." Essentially.
You've stolen my family's water.
Output: Apparently, I've stolen my own family's water.
It sure was nice of you to stop into our store from 20 towns over. That's a good thing.
Output: That's a wonderful thing. Any customer is good.
They do seem like enthusiastic kids.
Output: We can fly too. That's got to be worth something.
Thankfully no one has bionic smell.
Output: There's not even such a thing. The technology doesn't even exist, and even if it did it would hurt so much nobody would go through with it.
Well, here we are in New York City.  What do you think, Megan?
Output: I think it's amazing!  The buildings are so tall!
Did your owner accuse you on printed word or television or where?
Output: It started with mouth talk and then someone wrote it in their book.
Did my dead sister have anything to say to you?
Output: She did, oh she did. Here's a message, and I don't know what it means. "Don't do it."
You all know my name don't you?
Output: Yes your name is Rex Ryner isn't it? The guy with all the comic books.
Why are you pawning me off, father? What about what I want?
Output: I'm not pawning you off. I want you to grow as a man.
We were under the impressing that people in New York do not read Buzzfeed.
Output: We're not allowed.  Same thing with the big sodas.  We've so many restrictions.
You know, it's just part of being a housewife. Decorating and putting out. Sure, you might have these newfangled people that think they can be independent, but no.
Output: Call me one of them newfangles. 'Cause I ain't ever needed nobody, I ain't ever had nobody. My mama left me right after she gave birth to me.
Momma, why can't we have any pets?
Output: We have pet when we can afford to have pet. Right now, pet equal food.
It's getting late, Tia. Are you coming home?
Output: I know it's late, but the craft fair goes on until 6:00  pm. I can't leave here until 6:00 pm.
It's so wonderful just know that the doughnuts we're exporting to the world are slowly killing everyone.
Output: I mean, what is a doughnut if not a sugar bomb that explodes in your body? That's what my granddaddy used to say. And then he started making real bombs.
Beatrix is a very memorable name.
Output: Thank you. I'm surprised you forgot it. You need to work on your memory.
Yeah, yeah. Here you go, sorry. It's just I've never seen a safe deposit box look so confidently sexy as it walked into a room.
Output: Thank you so much. Well, wait until you see my backside.
Is there a voodoo curse on me?
Output: OK, I didn't put one on you, but I don't know everyone in the world. Somebody else might have.
We love the fair so much, we don't ever want to leave.
Output: Consider it done. I'm writing it into law that you'll be working the ramen noodle booth at the fair.
This will teach you self reliance and navigating through other cultures. Why, when it happened to me, well. I became this. And your father left.
Output: I can tell. You're so fancy. You're my fancy uncle Rick.
We really like these old guys and the stadium the way it was.
Output: You're gonna be murdered.
Well, my work here is done. Goodbye, until next time.
Output: Wow, she evaporated.
I don't know, we used to talk all night on the phone, bro, you know? I miss that. I need that. I've been focusing in law school for a bit, you know. I miss those calls. 
Output: Evan, that's a lot of pressure to put on me.
We have to shoot him!
Output: Are you ready to do it, there's going to be some splatter.
I don't mind if he stares at me.
Output: You don't mind that the creep, Bill Clinton, is staring at you like that?
People would be surprised to find out how fat I am if they weighed me.
Output: I know it's fat, but it looks like biceps.
Don't go there unless you want to be constantly harangued by the specter of doom.
Output: Actually I know that specter, he's a really nice guy. He told us we were ok, we can go there.
I'm so thrilled that we took the right highways and got here in one piece.
Output: I'm equally thrilled, but I'd be more thrilled if we got our daughter our of the car, so she can enjoy the beautiful pleasures of Not Scary Farm.
I've got a shoe for sale sir.
Output: How much, oh I see right here it says five million dollars, I gotta say that's quite excessive.
We could develop the customer's digital photos from memory cards. That would really be a move into the 21st century for us.
Output: Yes, because those printers are never fast enough. We should have thought of that sooner.
I'm looking for a book on tidying. It's this Japanese lady that talks about tidying.
Output: Oh, yes. Tidying around the house. Here is is right here. Trevor just returned it.
Normally, I would remove my hat inside, but it's television. They gotta know that I'm from Texas.
Output: Exactly, that's why he covered himself with barbecue sauce too.
So the big people gotta like the play? We better get to work or else you don't get to graduate.
Output: That's right, thank you for summing that up again Billy Jr.
All right, all right. Come on. Let's do this. We're five down, we can do this.
Output: You're scaring me. Your eyes are twirling.
Grassy Knoll Gus, I called myself. The backstory is that he's allergic to grass.
Output: I caught that. I know that his performance was only 15 seconds. But, I got everything out of your performance.
I thought I was in my own town of New Orleans, Louisiana.
Output: You must have gotten on a fast train or something and headed out here to the countryside.
If it was up to me, you'd be dead.
Output: Hey man, I sharped my razor like crazy, I got it right here ready to cut your throat at a moment's notice. Wanna try me?
The thing I feel I like is a never felt like I got a proper diagnosis, and my assumption is the diagnosis was two really unpleasant people found each other, but maybe I'm wrong. What do you look at when you see us?
Output: I see two very happy, Christmas-y people, who are finally realizing they're special inside.
Mom, mom. Guys, I'm sorry.
Output: Oh, he's back. That fellow who ran out.
Hey, now hold on a second.  I trusted you to make this announcement.
Output: I wrote it down on an index card, and then I left the index card where they keep the potatoes with the chives on them.
Oh, look who is back and interested now, Toaster?
Output: I never really went away. I just hid behind that bush.
I think that each and every one of us has a very special, brilliant part of ourselves. That part is, ourselves.
Output: Wow, I've never thought about it like that before.
She's not really a curious girl.
Output: It comes with age. She's so young right now.
A big problem is that no one has photos to develop. They're not using film cameras anymore.
Output: Yeah, but that's part of the contest. It has to be photos that have to be developed.
I'm the sheriff of these parts and you folks need to get across that river.
Output: OK can you help us at all? We have never traversed a river before.
We've come back from some rocky dealings, but Mitierry is stronger than ever before!
Output: Okay, well, I mean, he's a trusted brand name, and Twinkie is nothing to sneeze at.
Well, I never picked nobody up hitchhiking, neither. So we're doing it together.
Output: Yes, this is exciting. As long as you won't hurt me.
The Green Bay Packers must mean a lot to you.
Output: Well, I grew up in Wisconsin.  Now, I live in the subway, and all of my Green Bay memorabilia is down here with me.
Oh, no, y'all. Gayle's crying again.
Output: Get the dolls under him. We need him to cry on the dolls.
Tia, it sounds like your relationship with Mia is pretty bad.
Output: It's awful. Have you ever tried living with someone that has almost the same name as you? It's so confusing. I open the wrong mail. I go to the wrong doctor's appointments. It's a mess.
It's us, man! We'll be your uggos.
Output: Look at this network of scars. And how many eyes do you think I wish I had?
So, I don't have to move and I look like I have been moving
Output: You will end up looking like you have been moving, yes.
I gotta tell you, I've been seeing this shrink for three months and I don't feel any closer to being mentally well. I can't even be excited about Christmas, to be honest with you.
Output: So you're just somebody like me, waiting for your psychiatrist's diagnosis during Christmas week.
So, you really don't have a heart? Like, it's a medical condition?
Output: That's right. I have a little bulb that I pulse in my hand to keep my blood pumping.
Did they book the parking lot of Baskin Robbins for both a wedding and a funeral simultaneously?
Output: My family booked them together. Whenever someone dies they look around and they're like "which one of you bitches is still single, it's time to have a celebration?"
Take a good look, because you might not see another one of these cars for a long time.
Output: Well it's hard to see in the car with all the fast food boxes all over.
Yeah, nobody can ever get fired for being helpful.
Output: I'm not in the game of firing people. I'm in the game of hiring them and making them better people. Now, look, if you're going to survive in this game, you gotta learn a thing or two.
So, you were on the whale watching trip. And captain, you were on the whale watching trip. Why is it that everyone on the boat isn't in here with us?
Output: Well, we lost a lot of people with rogue wave. We're the lucky ones who made it into the whale belly.
Uh, what a tough day at the steel mill.
Output: Oh, honey.  You seem all bound up inside, like your body's made of rocks and stones.
Well, in the old days, the cemetery was a place where people would hang out and have picnics.
Output: Nothing like throwing out the old blanket over someone's grave, sitting down and dropping a bunch of meat from a sandwich all over the top of it.
You can come hang out whenever you want. You'll always be welcome. And I'll have a hot, foot long chicken bacon ranch waiting for you.
Output: That'll take me a year to eat.
The most amazing thing has happened. Your cat Jenna and this other guy's cat Ben, they sort of banded together, they worked the x-ray machine.
Output: Oh no. Jenna's not spayed. They banded together? They fucked.
She's crystallizing. Oh my god. You covered her in crystals. Oh my god, her head's exploded.
Output: She crystallized, then her head exploded, and now we're covered in her crystals.
Kevin, would you like a latte, honey?
Output: Yeah, and could you make it with two percent skim milk?  I'm trying to watch my weight.
God damn it. Excuse me, are you that fucking tree possessing another fucking person?
Output: Holy shit. I came all the way to Detroit not to hear your voice, Beth.
Why wouldn't they want to hang out with us? We have Netflix.
Output: I don't know, maybe it's because you're always binge watching when I'm gone and then I have to get caught up but you don't want to get caught up.
Hey guys, what if we go outside and smoke a clove?
Output: What do we do with it? Does it get us high and alter our consciousness?
Drew and the Ovaltine sponsor just really love Becky.
Output: Listen, we bought the rights to her life. I mean, when you sign on with The Price is Right, you sign on for life.
From that moment on I decided I could be anyone I wanted to be, so I started changing my identity.
Output: So you decided to be two people? Are you merely two people or are there other personalities?
Rita, we gotta get that door sealed.
Output: Hurry. Okay. I'll stack the rest of these peach cans in front of it.
That's two to one, Missfizzial. Looks like I'm coming.
Output: I guess so. Everyone hop on my back.
We outta sell them placards. We never even thought of selling them, but we steal a ton of them. 
Output: Let's have a yard sale to sell them.
What do you think they dream about down there? In their dreams, do they have dreams about totally normal possible stuff?
Output: I think they dream about dashed dreams or dreams not coming true.
Wait a minute, you guys. I sense mom's back.
Output: Yeah, it definitely smells like the '90s.
Mr. Thompson! You stole my fringe!
Output: You have caught me. I have hurt your family.
Do you mind if I just move all these Big Mac boxes?
Output: Go ahead, move those boxes. But don't throw them out, just leave them, like, on the dash. You know, I'm collecting Monopoly points.
Is everyone ready for carrot cake?
Output: My favorite. It's the only way to eat a carrot.
Oh, thank god it worked. He went to the concert.
Output: God, I know. He's always with us and I just needed him to be somewhere else for four to seven hours.
I like to think that every place you hold tension in your body is actually a butt hole.
Output: That's interesting. Can we do questions?
I know you cast members can't point with one finger, I get it.
Output: That's right, exactly, I have to point with two, because in some cultures it's rude to point with one finger. And also, there's an urban legend that Walt Disney always pointed with two fingers because he always had a cigarette in his fingers.
So mom, how long are you going to be in Brazil for?
Output: Listen. Here's the thing. When mama gets a gig mama got to go. Now, I got this man Flu, he thinks I'm a Brazilian princess.
Why are you clacking away on your typewriter?
Output: She might want this list later.
What would your mother think of this? Your foul mouth and disrespecting people.
Output: That's real nice, bringing up my mother since she's been out of this world for a couple months.
We have a Mickey cartoon, where he shakes hands with Hitler at the end.
Output: Oh, this sounds exciting and historical.
Mom's so good at that job. I mean, look at you. You're amazing.
Output: Should I go make the bed?
I want you to do the first half of the surgery. Then I will go over to the other doctor and have them finish it.
Output: OK. That's good because we still have to finish this guy on my table.
James, will you please get those damn peach baskets out of this think tank?
Output: So many empty peach baskets. Get them out of here. We ate all the peaches.
Poor Joseph got killed during rehearsal. God rest his soul.
Output: Oh, that's right, his head was bashed in with a rock. How could I forget that.
Obviously, she doesn't feel very good, which makes me in turn not feel so good. I can change.
Output: I'm sorry you're not feeling good. I didn't mean to make you feel not good by  not feeling good.
Curtis, maybe you should stay put. I'm really worried about you wandering about and not keeping track of time.
Output: Well I'll just try to stay here and remember that I'm supposed to stay here. Just try to hypnotize myself with this map of the mall.
Why don't you have any African gray parrots in your bird section?
Output: We stopped carrying those because they were assholes.
I know Joanie. She was on patrol here, in the neighborhood, as an officer of the law. And of course, she gets free VHS rentals.
Output: I patrol this area. To be honest, not a lot happens in the section, and so I poke my head in here a lot. See if there's anything I can do.
Next up, Amos. It's your turn to sing.
Output: Surprise! Here comes Amos. Amos is going to sing that famous old song "Anybody Here Remember How To Jitterbug?"
Is that my dad downstairs, and if so why wouldn't you tell me that he was.
Output: Dad, how could you do this? This is my one friend and you have to kidnap her dad?
That's me, Jerry Disney! I'm finally in charge and I'm changing the names of all the rides.
Output: Jerry, you've never made a bad decision.
Did you say something about putting on motor oil?
Output: We put motor oil on it, add bacon, double it up with cheese, triple fry, we light it on fire, and boom!
Look, I think we should all split up while I go back to my safe chamber.
Output: You would think that, cocaine lady.
That planet is barely a sphere.
Output: It's an oblong planet.
Well, if you like getting things monogrammed, maybe you want to look at my sky mile catalog.
Output: I'd love it. Do they have the sodoku game inside?
You think me, the proprietor of Horrible Things to Come, the most gloomy bar in the city, is a gloomy guy?
Output: That's what HTC stands for? I thought that was the actual name of the bar. It sounds so cool. HTC.
I want to have blue skin in the show.
Output: Art, your wish is my command. You will be a blue skinned alien.
I want to be divorced from my dad. I can take care of myself.
Output: OK, but that's definitely not the right term for it. That one is for sure wrong.
So you just let Gregor burn up?
Output: She was the one who set his hair on fire.
I'd like some regular old, non-weird tacos.
Output: Well, it depends on what normal is to you and that's subjective.
That's our family motto. It's stitched on our flier.
Output: Let's all say it together. Always bury a key in aisle four under the pantyhose.
What will happen when the foam starts? Will it mess up my cotton candy outfit?
Output: It will mix with the cotton candy you're wearing. And then it will all melt. And then I know my shift has ended and it's time to go home.
Excuse me, sir. Are you a werewolf? Is there a full moon?
Output: I'm a little bit of a werewolf, I'm a little bit of a werebear, I'm a little bit of a half-orc fighter. Someday I hope to level up and be a paladin.
I've gotta tell you.  I'm exhausted.
Output: Me, too!  I've sweat out a whole person!
We're gonna hit you in the head with balloons and make you wear a hat that says derogatory things about women.
Output: Yeah, that's how we do it in Beer Town.
I'm confused why you're asking me for a perm, because your hair is already extremely curly. Can you understand my confusion?
Output: No, I don't, because a curl can always get tighter. It literally says that on your door.
I traveled all the way from the next town.
Output: Dad?
Alright, SWAT is set up outside. Are you guys ready?
Output: This is Agent Thompson. I have just left the bird's nest and it is a go!
Ricky's body is kind of transparent looking.
Output: It's because all the skin and bones are skins. There's no more living cells.
I understand Brandon was taking care of you folks, but he's a little indisposed right now.
Output: Yes, he was going to bring us appetizers.
I'm sorry, we're under new management here.
Output: You've got to be rude to the customer. That's our gimmick.
I don't know, honey. Nine extra dollars for shipping. Can we do it?
Output: Can I tell you something? I've handled all the shipping for this family by taking out loans. Everything we've ever put in the mail. There's a guy that I borrow money from. Eventually it's going to come back to haunt us.
Hey, did I leave a ring inside the dummy?
Output: Is that what this is? Here you go. `I didn't even know you were married.
It's also day into night, you know what I mean? You could be running errands and looking chic and then you go to a fancy opening or whatever.
Output: Good point, Rob.
I wouldn't mind using my position to, uh, make you have sex with me.
Output: Oh, well, I actually came to complain about another student who did just that.
Perhaps I could join your party.
Output: No that's not going to happen, we hate you, we think you're a super boring daughter.
Alright, extras that get to go on the rides, move over here. Everyone from this point over needs to move over there.
Output: This isn't fair. We've been camping out all night to be here.
He had the stethoscope, the shiny thing, lab coat, scrubs.
Output: And I carried that thing, the tall scale that doctors used to have? I just dragged that with me.
Charisma, don't crumple up the poem that you wrote for Mr. Brown. He might redeem himself later.
Output: The only way he can redeem himself is to find each and every parrot and bring it back to the jungle.
I say we untie ourselves from these train tracks and go see that lady to find out from her who absorbed into who in the womb and who's half of what's left!
Output: Let's commit vigilanteism on a real vigilante!
I know. I'm trying to tap onto the ceiling of this hell that we live in.
Output: Try to use the broom handle.
Oh, I see. You thought that Kay was a person. There are people named Kay, but not in this place. There is a Kay that works at the piano place next door.
Output: Well, I don't want to buy a piano.
Hi, Pixie.  I just noticed you were there, and normally I don't get up the gumption to talk to you, but I thought since we're both cast as leads, we should get to know each other.
Output: Yeah, that's cool.  There's no one else here to talk to.
My owner has accused me in the public eye of being a sexual deviant.
Output: Was this in the printed word or on television?
Mr. Ramierez, that's a beautiful hat.
Output: Thank you. She's from Panama.
My brother Daniel likes to stay in the grandfather clock.
Output: Oh, how exciting. I've never heard of anyone sleeping in a grandfather clock before.
Winter is a harbinger of horrible things to come, as we say and as is inscribed above the bar: "Horrible things to come."
Output: It's so gloomy for a nightclub.
Just go in there bathroom. The code is 1 0 2 0 6 0 4 0.
Output: Alright, I'll see y'all in about 30 minutes.
I can't pee without this dog staring at me.
Output: Yeah, Shandy likes to see nudes.
Yeah, well, the shit's the manure and that's the fertilizer that makes them grow. I need to see the lush greenness of England.
Output: Alright, honey. Let's make your dream come true, I guess. I'll go where you go.
My Lord, I just want to make something clear to everyone present. There's a woman up there that resembles me, but isn't me. She's saying that you don't exist.
Output: It's confusing because you both have the Rachel haircut.
What page are we talking about, And who's Samantha?
Output: The page that the newscaster reads at nine o' clock news.
Steve Dons. I was behind the chair at the first meeting.
Output: Oh, you're the guy who wanted to smoke. They guy who, like, forced himself on that girl.
I think it was ambitious to begin with the motorcycle show.
Output: But I'd seen it done in a much smaller sphere than I built. It should have worked even better.
Uncle, maybe you have some headache powder for Daniel in your pot of lotion.
Output: Oh, I see that I do have some headache powder for him to try. Try this and see if it works, Daniel.
Listen, the good news is, your boys done you proud. They's going to be major recording artists.
Output: My boys. Y'all gonna be on that America's Got Talent?
Excuse me would you mind stepping aside for a second?
Output: Alright, a lady's got a right to stand on the corner.
You can't blame me, Barb. I love him.
Output: She knows the real me. We've been having this affair since before we were married.
She's the first female chief of a tribe, head logger, and den mother to the stars.
Output: She's also the first white Native American chief.  That's never happened before.  That's how much they respect her.
You seem a little sleepy. How did you start your day today?
Output: My honey and I woke up and I suggested that we have a TV day because we haven't done it in so long.
Good news, ya'll, John and I are getting back together.
Output: That's OK Vince, you can come fuck me instead. Forget about John.
Alright, so I'm going to be gathering intel at the beauty parlor. Got it.
Output: That's right. So make sure you ask a lot of questions when you're there. Just find out about their lives and everything. If you can, try not to let them ask you too many questions unless you got your backstory, like, good and tight.
We're not related. He's watching me this weekend because my mom wanted to go to the spa.
Output: This is the first I'm hearing of this, wait. We're not related. Oh, my God.
Putio's knife is lighter than a feather. 
Output: Oh, geez! You almost sliced my face with that knife.
Well listen, guys. The rules have changed. There's another state fair coming up in this very state.
Output: I thought that was the very last fair, five years ago. But I'm glad I was wrong.
There's a possum and part of a raccoon.
Output: Let's take part of that raccoon, put some cheese on it, and double fry it!
Seems like this is working out.
Output: It's almost working out too well. This is suspicious.
It's weird that your concerned about a scroll when a person's dying.
Output: Well you just made your death seem inevitable, and we just met you.
Are you the manager, Ma'am?
Output: I guess I am, for all intents and purposes. There's a turtle sale right now. I don't have time to talk about this.
So, Arlene, we could have been together?
Output: We could have and I would have remembered every date we ever went on.
You look sinister.
Output: Do I? I get that a lot.
Hey would you mind taking these bags up to the room?
Output: Just throw it up on my back!
They smoke in a church, or whatever.
Output: Yes, smoking in church.  That's my next stop after being a pregnant teen.
Are there any crazy people in the waiting room?
Output: That's kind of rude, don't you think? I mean, you're our psychiatrist.
Madam, are you lost? May I help you?
Output: I'm waiting here for a lover-turned-friend. A friend-turned-lover.
It's my dirty 40th birthday today and I hope no one minds I already cracked open this Riesling because we can't get service here.
Output: We are fine with it honey. It's the only way to have a good time.
Look, there's so much to see here at the State Fair. What do you think?
Output: It's wonderful. It's a little intimidating to be honest with you. There's a lot to take in.
Are you done? I was in this line ten minutes ago and you're still in here singing your dumbass love song to this guy.
Output: Charlie will tell you, he is like my bartender. I am too young to drink, so I come to the bakery to tell him my troubles.
I don't want to go in there if she doesn't have her bra on.
Output: Yeah, it's probably going to take her like ten minutes to put it on.
Of course, young lady. What size t-shirt do you take?
Output: Can you hold the t-shirt out so we can get a good look at it?
You took my bracelet? I took your ring.
Output: We appear to have pickpocketed each other.
Are you having a rough day, buddy?
Output: Yeah, one more minute as Colonial Sargent and I'm going to lose it. All these kids are tugging on my epaulets.
You'll forgive me for saying so, but you have a reputation for being very nosy.
Output: Some say that, but, I like to know what's going on in the area in which I live.
I'm a little uncomfortable.
Output: Listen, it's not a bad thing. We want your friendship, so that we have access to your privilege.
He is known for refusing to cook anything else.
Output: Why would I cook anything but Cool Whip filled Hot Pockets? They are the most delicious delicacy on the planet!
I'm sorry to have to detain you, but you just have to stay in here for a little bit.
Output: Oh, that's fine. It's all part of the family vacation we've been saving up for.
Mother, it's what I need to do. I need to become a stand up comedian.
Output: Your father and I did not come here so you could be in the arts.
Mother, I think there must way for us to insinuate our business into the carnival.
Output: People will get hungry, especially with a tapeworm in the picture.
I'm worried. I have a family and you've had me hold these knives all day. If I slip, this knife is going to go straight into my throat.
Output: Or, it could go straight into his throat.
What is wrong with you, mysterious guy? Why do you have Scruples and six yo-yo's in your jacket?
Output: I just want to read Scruples and practice my yo-yo'ing with different weights of yo-yo.
I'm afraid to tell you that you've died. But there's good news; you are in the afterlife.
Output: Well, I have to get to my husband's show. You're going to have to let me back into the before-life.
This speaker is just a fucking idiot, whose life was ruined.
Output: Yeah, look at him saying heroine ruined him and that it's an epidemic.