niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
What's black and white a red all over? It could be a newspaper with blood on it.
Output: That's not wrong, but it's actually just a newspaper, because it gets read by people's eyes. But I can understand why you would go dark in this time of trauma.
Big Red, I didn't recognize you without your signature coat.
Output: Well, it's hot out.
So, the snack you offer is like a cocktail hour? That would be great.
Output: We do have some cans of wine for purchase. For the continental snack, we'll put out bags of baked Lays.
The check is for $300 Million.
Output: That's much more than $1 Million.
Hello, fellow thespians.  Are you super jealous that I'm going to be playing the role of the melancholy dane in our spring show?
Output: No, I don't think I'm jealous about it.  I mean, like, it's probably, like, perfect casting or whatever.
I don't know what to do. It sounds like we're just repeating a horrible history.
Output: Yes, you're stealing the words right out of my book.
Oh my god. Now he's only a foot long tapeworm. He cut himself in half with the chainsaw.
Output: He was so brave, trying to save our family.
I'm running a business here. He never paid for the first time.
Output: Yeah, because you made me so small. I shrunk out of my own clothes and there was no way I could open a wallet.
Yeah, and those homeless trolls are not like those toy pencil toppers.  They're more like those creepy riddle-askers type.
Output: Yeah.  They're real people who may or may not have a mental disease and decided they want to live underground.
Oh my god, this club is so fun. It makes me feel so great about life and I'm dancing right now!
Output: I have diabetes and I forgot about it for a second, I'm so happy.
Evelyn, I just want to check in with you briefly. I know your children have left. I want to make sure you're single before you move onto this other marriage.
Output: Oh, I'm very single. I go to bed every night with cream on my hands and cream on my feet just waiting for someone to come through the door and ravish me or do whatever they do in the movies.
That's it. We're all Rogers now. You're a Rogers and we're Rogers.
Output: You're my new family. You'll take me in?
I'm gonna go now.
Output: Yes you are, Sam Houston. You're going to join us in the Gulf of Mexico.
Monica, can you please focus? We have such a limited time and you keep spacing out.
Output: Oh, were those dollars in my eyes again?
Ma'am, there seems to be a lot of dolls in glass cases here.
Output: Yes, it this is a ventriloquism museum and therefore it is dolls and we protect them in glass.
Effective immediately, we're closing the Lord of the Flies musical murder spectacular. I kind of wish that there were more murders in it.
Output: You guys, at the end of the day, a lot of people just didn't want to get dead.
This is purgatory. You're all in purgatory.
Output: Wait a minute. There was this one time I through out this piece of trash, but I missed. It bounced off the trash can onto the street, and I didn't go back and fix that.
This is all very inspiring because, in a strange sort of way, I've been a caterpillar who crawled into a dumpster, into the dark, to gestate and pupate and eventually emerge as this beautiful, beautiful butterfly of love with you, Bobby!
Output: But, you've always been beautiful to me.  Does that mean you're about to become ugly now?
What kind of thimbles are you using?
Output: Just like, the thimbles that are supposed to protect your fingers from the needle.
Look, Rudy, you come in here five times a week.
Output: That's right. Whenever I'm in town with my baseball team.
Doris, you had your babies, right?
Output: Yeah, I had the twins and they're getting all the attention in the house.
Sam Houston, you're going to join us in the Gulf of Mexico.
Output: That's right. We all live in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and now you will too.
We could have stayed home, dad. September 12 just seems like a weird day to go to The Price is Right. I mean, mom's dead.`
Output: Hold on a second, kids. There is nothing more American than The Price is Right. And if this show goes on, we go on.
Well, I guess there goes Claude and Madeline.
Output: We are no longer a tribunal, we are just a duet.
I don't feel so wall.
Output: Alright, guys, places. Places. What's wrong with you, Becky?
Is it food on the table, or table under the food? Bet you never thought of it that way.
Output: God damn it, you're never going to be a professor of philosophy. You tried and it didn't work out.
That's a Paul DeGaul painting hanging on my wall.
Output: That's crazy. I heard that was stolen from a museum.
Oh, I hope we never go home!
Output: Alright, everybody. Get in here. Kids come in for free.
Budino, you never let us dip our fingers in your whipped cream.
Output: You never asked.
That is an unfortunate name.
Output: It's not good.  I don't even like saying it.
Sweetheart, I appreciate you calling a friend over. I'm sure they're gonna be here any second. In the meantime, I need to address the fact that you want are watching Better Call Saul.
Output: Oh, fuck. Did I say that out loud? I mean, it was Lavar Burton.
Many years ago, we were doing a bit of a talent scout for potential servants. We got on a big bus and we drove across the country.
Output: I won because I sang "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge.
Maybe we would have been more scared if you weren't wearing sweats.
Output: It's just that I've gained weight recently and none of my clothes fit so I have to wear them.
Let me talk to her, father to daughter.
Output: Well, let me get out of the way, third wheel that I am.
You mean the genders of dogs are all male, or do you mean they're actually people?
Output: It shall remain unclear. Figure it out for yourself.
Actually, all the hideous disfigurements that you have received or inflicted upon yourself would be a bonus because it's just more to draw. However, you did show up to the interview nude.
Output: Well, my cousin told me this is a nude job. I wanted to show you that I'm comfortable. I took the bus here and everything.
I know the man's wife goes to the mall.
Output: That's a good place to start. Go to the mall. Go to any mall.
The smooshed eye, is that why you always think the water fountain is gonna turn into a spider monkey?
Output: Well, it looks like that to me sometimes, yes. The faucet does bear the resemblance to a monkey's face.
Looks like everybody made it.
Output: Looks like the gang's all here, cool. But we're still missing one person. Donna. Remember Donna? I heard she fell into the grand canyon.
You know what fresh fish I think you could run for president.
Output: Nah I don't think so I am going to pursue my career in remodeling Comanche pueblos.
I'm really not like any of you. I'm a human being. I have feelings and people that love me.
Output: Yeah, we don't like you. I don't like you. I can't speak for everyone else.
Beverly has to work, Doctor. There's audition is for a pickle company.
Output: The acid from that pickle could kill her with the state her stomach is in.
You look great in those Ray-bans.
Output: Thank you very much. I'm blind.
This is a good session of patty cake.
Output: Whoever wins, doesn't pay for the beers.
Of course I've been keeping track, do I look like I do not know how to do my job? Are you really accusing me of not knowing how to do my job?
Output: Madeline, if I were to accuse you of not being able to do your job I would, of course, convene the tribunal. As we do according to the book. The Icelandic manual that we all go by here in Iceland.
I'll miss my wife until the day I die.
Output: You know, I always thought it was cruel that your wife said you gotta make a choice. It's either you set up a hospital suite in her home for a dog who's gonna die anyway, or I leave.
Your ice cream is melting in your hand. Do you want to eat it?
Output: If it's all melty I shouldn't have to pay for it, right?
Our first bites we delicious. We had several bites. I can't even remember the first one.
Output: Would you like another chair for your friend here?
Yeah, everybody knows you can't be on TV with big shoes. But you changed all that.
Output: That's right. I made it my signature move. Having shoes on.
Why didn't you just leave the garage if no one was working?
Output: I couldn't get my car out. Have you seen this barricade?
Now, can you assure us that you have enough roast beef this time?
Output: Sir, I'm glad you asked me that question.  We have so much roast beef that the Beef Council called us and said, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I've built up an immunity to strychnine. I'll just take the whole jar if you don't mind.
Output: Oh, sure. Consider it your Christmas bonus from me.
Captain, can I ask what these people have done to be surveilled on this long con that's going to last for years?
Output: Here's the thing. Their chief exports is these doughnuts that have become sort a designer doughnuts that everyone loves. But these doughnuts, they do stuff to you.
I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable with my daughter sitting on your lap as she orders her food. It just doesn't seem right to me.
Output: But my name's Sandra. I'm the friendliest waitress in all of Freeport.
It doesn't matter what side of the tracks you're from. The left, the right, above them, you could be below them.
Output: You could be made of tracks.
A woman can't be a sheriff.
Output: That's what I said, Dwayne. I mean, if people saw her walking around with the badge on they'd be like "She's the sheriff?"
Welcome to Science Food, I'm your host, Marco and right now we're going to make bacon and eggs, but it's going to be like a steam.
Output: I thought about that steam every night when I went to sleep. It almost made me interested in science.
It's our fault she's live streaming the robbery because we didn't say no social media.
Output: We should have made a rule. We should have planned this whole thing better.
Oh my god, guys, they ordered a Poseidon's Delight.
Output: Idiots. We're gonna fuck with those guys.
They don't give you a different title at the end of elementary school.
Output: Well, they give you a hard time for being taller than everyone else.
He's got to die.
Output: Okay, he will die.  I will make it so nobody will know.
Your hands look like two horses with one too many legs each.
Output: Like four giraffes fused together, or two double giraffes.
I just think that if something has vomit on it, then it should be disqualified.
Output: What if it the kid has made mold of vomit and then someone vomits upon it because they see it and it's gross?
Well I'll just try to stay here and remember that I'm supposed to stay here. Just try to hypnotize myself with this map of the mall.
Output: Oh look at that map. It's huge.
Oh, pardon me, am I interrupting sport club?
Output: You're not interrupting a thing. We were just clubbing the air with our sport clubs.
Young lady, are you lost? You looking for a certain store?
Output: I am. I've been looking everyone for The Boy's Store. And I can read.
Dr. Hawaii, I'm so sorry, but there's a pig emergency.
Output: A pig emergency? I'll go right away. Let me get my van.
I don't want anything because I have friendship and also I'm planning on bashing in your brains and eating your brains and getting my personality back.
Output: You know what? That's what I want to. You deserve your personality back.
You're very rude. I'm your father. I'm gonna send you to an all girls military school.
Output: You wouldn't dare.
One bag of cashews and one thousand pounds of fudge. We only sell it in blocks of a thousand pounds.
Output: Well, we're flying on Spirit, and I've only got the one bag. I can't take that much on a flight.
I'm gonna try to make something out of these PowerBars.
Output: And ration them please. I mean, it's our only food.
I'm sorry I'm late.  What did I miss of the donut tour?
Output: Well, you missed the sprinkle section, which is where Felix works.  Felix is my dad.
The only thing that makes me madder than having two port-o-potties instead of eight is hearing your dumb ass story about how it was lost.
Output: Well, I thought that giving you a story would help you understand why you do not have eight and that would help you lessen your anger towards me.
So, you want to sacrifice someone that doesn't live here to the sea.
Output: Yeah, a passing througher you might say. Not a townie.
I feel like I don't know how to relate to people, so I watch what they do and then if I get to know their interests, I'll buy them a poster or something.
Output: I know. You're really good at that. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense. I don't know why you gave me all of these Yoplait yogurt posters.
Robert's wallet is a very large wallet.
Output: That's like a murse without the strap.
So, you say you can't read, sir?
Output: Yeah, I've just devoted my life to mimery, juggling, clowning and other sorts of activities.
Why are you sorry? For me being an idiot? For me not knowing stuff? For me not knowing deep cuts of country? Why are you sorry for what I did?
Output: I'm sorry for what I did. I looked past you and I see romance and I realized that's all I wanted to see. But, the truth is, Tina, I've always loved you. And seeing these two people here today, in love, it just reminded me of that. I know I see you every day, but they reminded me that I love you, Tina.
So here's a cup of soup. The directions say: pull back top only slightly. Pour hot water into cup of soup up to fill line. Close lid, let sit for 30 seconds. Open lid. Avoid steam.
Output: Oh, avoid the steam. Can I just tell you how many times I've had a dinner party and I've made soup incorrectly? I'll never make that mistake again thanks to you.
I should mention they are drug testing today. In about, I don't know, five minutes.
Output: Well, that's not going to be a problem because the shot you gave me was only juice. Juice is hardly a drug.
Why wouldn't you spay your cat, Boingo. Don't you watch The Price is Right?
Output: That's reckless. Like, 144 cats can come from like one cat. But, whatever. It's fine.
What kind of soup is that?
Output: It's a chimichurri. It's not really a soup, I guess.
Our girls, I couldn't be more proud of them.
Output: What we taught them, it's funny all  those years I thought they weren't listing to us, but turns out they heard every word.
They're in step. This is a choice for the cockroach.
Output: And look, they're headed right to our front door.
Liam and Megan, are you worried about the trouble in the hills?
Output: I am. The hills. I can hear the pre noise of the hills before the hills start to rumble.
I should bring that up at the next church meeting. Free piercing would be a great way to get people in the door
Output: I'm going to copyright that. That's my idea.
Uh-oh, he's putting on the gloves. He's touching the poached egg.
Output: I wouldn't throw this egg in Tina Turner's face!
Oh, my back feels like it's on fire. What's happening to me?
Output: Oh, you are very sweaty, sir.
Are you scared because there's no electricity around your house? It's very dark?
Output: Yeah, that's what it is. And I can't turn on a fan or a toaster, even. I wanted some night toast. Can't have it. Also, the internet doesn't ever work here because of the government, I think.
Settle down, stop rioting.
Output: Everybody calm down your rioting, although I appreciate the enthusiasm.
Trying to figure out everything that burns is eventually how I died.
Output: That's right. You went up in that wool fire.
I've been sent to your time, present day I guess, to fix a wrinkle in time that has caused a rupture that has allowed a woman who's not in scripture at all to exist in the garden of Eden. There's a weird, messy, divorce-like situation.
Output: This is very complex sounding, but it's right up my alley. I'm a scientist and I love time shit.
Thomas, you have to eat something right now.
Output: You should have a gogurt and one of my protein bars.
You also have a red cap on.  It looks like a dwarf's hat.
Output: Yeah, it's unfortunate.  I wish I would have thought about my outfit choice better before leaving the house.  When I looked in the mirror, I thought I was looking pretty sharp, but now I realize it makes me look like a smurf.
You don't want to just ease into testing the wall?
Output: No, science is all about just leaping before you look.
That's an interesting bell you have on your door. Are you guys open?
Output: Of course, it's during business hours.
Let me confer with my brother again in our secret twin language.
Output: OK. I don't like hearing you talk like that though. It always creeps me out.
It's getting really hot.
Output: I wish I would have brought water. I thought we would just have some on the way out. Honestly, I thought this was going to be a snap.
Well, I got all the bags.
Output: It's about time. Look, you're a good kid. And I think you're doing a pretty good job. But you just seem overwhelmed.
I still love you, but in a different way now.
Output: In a way that you don't want to eat me a cut me up anymore?
Well let's look at the label. It says "use once daily."
Output: It's a suggestion. It's the same as "use as needed."
They can't walk in a straight line anymore. They're useless.
Output: They can't walk at all!
I thought you were asking me to do my yo yo trick called The Prayer. Get us through this one, get us up it and down it. Get us left and around it. Amen
Output: Amen. That's a beautiful actor's prayer. I haven't heard it before and will surely remember it.
I feel as if I'm forgetting more and more things.
Output: Well, that's why you need a nice break to walk around this open space full of stores.
I've misspoken. I've never mistaken Tom Hanks for Collin Hank.
Output: Never, never in your whole life have you made that mistake.
Oh, I'm supposed to go to this funeral. I was going to be the guy who sings the funeral song.
Output: Oh, that's important. A lot of people say a soul can't move on until that song's been sung.
Look, at the tube that is descending into the lake. Then the water is ascending through the tube.
Output: You say stalactite, I say stalagmite.
My inhaler is beautiful.
Output: It really is and it's so well spoken.
We want 7,000 copies of the comic book. We believe in you.
Output: This is enough books for the entire state.
I have all these glittery keys. What do you say we let these little devils out.
Output: Why don't we start with this John Wayne Gacy puppet? He's kind of cute.
Listen, if you win the middle, what song are they going to sing if they can't sing the Russian National Anthem?
Output: That's the great thing part, you get to choose.
I'm in. All in. But you must know I'm cut out of every episode of Shark Tank.
Output: Yeah, I know. You're all the way to the right in the dark. I've never seen an English person on this show.
I like your half face mask.
Output: Oh, tank you. I'm just doing a phantom thing. There's nothing wrong with my face. It helps people know who I am.
You can't pay an exterminator in telling him how you do your chores on the chore wheel.
Output: What I'm saying is I don't contribute to the ant problem.
Hey, excuse me. Are you the person who left your egg salad sandwich unattended?
Output: Yeah, but I cracked the window so it wouldn't overheat.
So, your first name isn't Humble?
Output: You thought my full name was Humble Blimpsman and I happen to be a blimpsman?
The force of earth is too strong for the force of wind.
Output: But, the wind is blowing my own dirt in my eyes. I can't see.
This is Houston, we have a call from you from Earth.
Output: If it's my daughter, could you just tell her I'm really busy collecting samples? I don't want to talk to her.
This feels like Peter Pan.
Output: That's right. Believe you can fly with your new wings.
You're not going to be frolicking on the moon for very long. A couple minutes, because we're going to run out of air if we stay here any longer.
Output: So what's a couple minutes, you know? Some people spend their whole lives and they don't do a thing. We can spend the rest of our lives, a minute or whatever it may be, living to our full potential.
Do you sell any sort of earplugs so we can protect ourselves from the sample siren?
Output: Well, here, let me crumple up these little trays and stick them in your ears.
So you got better at your games as you went along.
Output: I've been at it for a little while. My name didn't start as Guy.
Now it's just you and your brother right?
Output: That is, until I found out today that I had a sister, and my sister is screen actress and movie star Dakota Fanning.
So, there's nothing Houstonian about this steak house?
Output: I mean, you're in Houston. There's that correlation.
That show not appropriate for our kind. I mean, Seinfeld, I can get behind. Friends, no problem. The 8 o'clock news, of course.
Output: Well, Seinfeld's full of Jews and Friends is full of young people who are single. Why can't I watch and a gay and a straight sitcom like Will & Grace?
Hey Norman, can you hear that guy in the bathroom?
Output: Yeah, I don't know what he's doing in the poor bathroom. He's sitting with the rich people.
All right, it's almost it's almost airtime. So here's the thing, team. Here's what we're going to do today. Of course, Catalina's gonna do one of ambush makeovers.
Output: Yes, I have the ambush all planned. We have two gentlemen that don't know what they're coming in for.
I know Chief Logger from the res.  Everyone knows her.
Output: She's the first female chief of a tribe, head logger, and den mother to the stars.
Congratulations on the hand maids teaching you what slavery was.
Output: It's like, now I get it. Those were good lessons.
No, last time I made a large sum of money I threw it all into a mall fountain.
Output: When you told me you were going to do that I thought it was an empty threat.
Of course it'll appear as all one word, you can't have broken up words.
Output: You can't put spaces in your Twitter handle, I've tried. I mean you could underscore.
It's 8 o'clock at night, so it's really not the best time to make you an English breakfast, but I'll do it for you, love.
Output: You did offer it. But OK, I'll have and English dinner instead.
I'm a lion. I can't spell.
Output: I wish you were a lion in the sack.
Oh, hi, Sally.
Output: That's boss man Sally to you.
Ma'am, you look just like my janitor.
Output: What's that, little Suzy?
If you could show my mom some compassion and love it would maybe take away some of the sting of the horrible thing I just did to her by casting her out of my life when all she did was love and support me.
Output: That's pretty shitty.  I would love to invite this enchanting woman to move in with me in my mansion dumpster.  It's got seven lids, 14 compartments, 80 handles.
Wait, wait. Let's spin the positive. That will help pass time, too.
Output: I'm telling you, you need to write a book, man. You need to write an inspirational quote book because you're just so positive all of the time, Pinky.
They're here now. Let's just go for it.
Output: But we just walked out of the room.
We all can hear the jokes.
Output: It's like he's at an open mic.
This is a celebration that's going on out there. I think a funeral, and I don't know what else. People are wearing costumes from the Neverending Story.
Output: It's a Neverending Story-themed wedding.
Cheryl. Did you get my check?
Output: I didn't, and if I had I probably wouldn't have stolen the car.
I don't curse. I'm a Christian.
Output: I'm a Christian. God invented words. Fuck, shit, balls.
Guys, one minute until curtain. Thank you curtain.
Output: I'm in the audience, does that mean I have to do something?
I got lots of scars because, you know, knife fights and other things. And I got a jangly eye so it can look anywhere you need it to look. So I think that's exciting to draw.
Output: Under normal circumstances, yes. Actually, all the hideous disfigurements that you have received or inflicted upon yourself would be a bonus because it's just more to draw. However, you did show up to the interview nude.
Alright, just keep this ticket on your windshield and you're free to drive into the park. Oh, it's just you and a dummy in your car?
Output: That's right. It's Michael Jackson, the ventriloquist dummy made out of mummies.
We'll take all the drinks you have and a couple of bags of urine if you have that too.
Output: Oh, there's plenty of urine. People leave urine behind in the hall like crazy.
Again, she used to work here. But it's just a coincidence that her name is Kay. She did not found Kay Jewelers.
Output: So there was just a Kay working at Kay Jewelers who got fired for not being able to read, and that Kay is now working next door selling pianos. Right?
It's weird that the dancing ban has lasted since 1987.
Output: So many things have happened since then. For us to still not be able to dance is a travesty.
What if I put you in the Bruce the Shark Costume today?
Output: I would love to be Bruce the shark, but who's going to play Tron?
The two of us, we just eat it. The pizza. We split it together.
Output: I eat the cheese and he eats the crust.
I know, dad. You're my boss though, and I respect that.
Output: Yes. Father first, boss second, mailman third.
Mr. Wallace, where is everyone? Nobody's here.
Output: I sent them out on an expedition to go collect ice. I haven't seen them since.
Please hurry.  Your lighthouse is the only thing that I could see in the darkness and I'm trying to get away from Ted.
Output: OK. It's open. Now we just have to walk up about 100 God damn stairs.
We don't do things the same way here in Malibu as the do in other places.
Output: I understand. You guys have an entire room just for outdoor shoes. I'm not used to that at all.
What sassy little daughter of Eve you are.
Output: Yeah, I think you mean daughter of Aslan. I'm Aslan's daughter.
Doris, you gotta have a party. It's your birthday.
Output: I guess we could do an office party here at work.
Your children have a very special anniversary gift for you.
Output: Oh, the apples of my eye. What do you have for Mommy?
I'm standing here in my wine tasting overalls. I'm just a man with a Gypsie curse, looking at his ex-wife and asking that ex-wife to love him.
Output: John, I'm getting so emotional. I've been waiting for you to say something like this to me.
This lion over here intrigues and concerns me.  June, why don't you go up to him and give him one of your patented June Mane Rubs?  That'll get him talking. 
Output: All right.  Thank you for suggesting the only thing I'm really good at.
Look, there's robots in this town, right?
Output: I know. I think the parents who adopted me are robots.
Mr. Houston, I need you to come quick. Richard is about to go.
Output: You let him go. He knows what he did wrong.
I've been watching Passion. The NBC soap opera where there's vampires for some reasons.
Output: Passions. It's plural. It's more than just the one passion.
Did you see how normal I acted? I asked about the continental breakfast or lunch. I made small talk.
Output: I know you did. You've always been so good to me.
They're out there.
Output: I can hear them right now, yeah.
Things seem to be going OK except for the getting up early.
Output: Yeah, that and the guy that's still in surgery.
Wait a minute, the factory is actively looking to break the record for most accidents?
Output: The manager comes around just putting cooking oil on the floor.
Management would love to hear "Crazy Train" by Ozzie Osbourne.
Output: I'll write a train song. "Look at the train. It's crazy....play ball!"
I feel so terrible about his soul. Maybe he didn't have a pure soul, so there's nothing that needs to get out of his body then.
Output: Jeanine, what a rude thing to say at Roberto's funeral.
Claptrap can't do nothing right. I can't do nothing right, can I? My whole life all I tried to do was do right. And I can't do nothing right.
Output: You named yourself, right? And you raised yourself. You killed a zombie. You saved someone's life.
We could always tell people that the painting is a big photo.
Output: That's good thinking Granda. That's what pictures were before the camera was invented.
Oh, wow, I'm doing it. I'm flying! Bye.
Output: Bye! Oh, oh no. She hit the ceiling.
At some point are you going to sell us seeds?
Output: You don't need seeds trust me. While you were here a tornado came and flattened you whole lot.
Daddy, the best things in life aren't always baked.
Output: Son, you're so right. Here, have a boiled bagel.
Was your friend in the Air Force by any chance?
Output: He was, do you know Dick Hole or I should ask, DID you know Dick Hole?
Look, if we don't put this play on properly to the to the light of all of the faculty, David can't graduate.
Output: Yeah, it's like a senior thesis. But in play format.
You don't think he's given up on jazz, do you?
Output: Trumpet Davis, the legendary Jazz guy? I don't know if he ever could.
Well, you never took any interest in my interests did you? You know I had a weekly  video game playing group and you never even showed up once.
Output: Because that was your thing and I wanted my own thing. I think it's OK that we had separate things.
I've been performing here for 15 years, but I'm not a day over 25.
Output: That's right. She was performing here when she was a child.
Her hair is like Crystal Gayle length corn rows. You can hear her coming from a mile away.
Output: Clack, clack, clack! Oh, Monique's here.
What's that magazine that's in the backseat?
Output: Well, it allows me to win sports games and the like. Some call it an almanac.
Glasses? Don't you like when life is a bit of a mystery?
Output: Yeah, but I want to be able to read street signs when I drive. It's kind of the point of my job.
I continued the affair, that's on me.
Output: Oh i see, that was unwise wasn't it?
Dad, I know you thought that you'd never hear from me again after I left.
Output: You thought you was too good for the Piano family.
I saw your mom at Sam's Club the other day.
Output: Well, you saw me here, too.  You've brought a gentleman home?
We came to rent Weekend at Bernie's.
Output: We don't have that anymore. Someone did not bring it back.
I don't like the looks of this place. It looks too old. You know I like modern things.
Output: Yes, you're always going off about modern things. You refuse to eat leftovers.
I know, and there's a reason why I took you here for your first family vacation. You're my little girl. I love you. Daddy loves you. He couldn't be here, but he loves you. I wanted to give you some culture. I wanted you to walk among the wine heads.
Output: Good idea. There sure are a lot of wine heads here. And I hate the French. You guys suck.
We gotta hold the house at least another 46 hours.
Output: We can move you in the performance order, but holding the house isn't an option.
You have to come with us.  It's policy.  It's legal stuff.
Output: Yeah, lots of kids get molested in underwear stores.  You've got to have a parent or guardian.  They gave us a cartoon at school, so we understand it.
OK. I'll go in and be manager today, but only because I used to sleep with your wife.
Output: I appreciate that by the way. Thank you for your service.
Why did you train the kitchen tapeworm, anyway?
Output: I was first so surprised that he responded to commands, and then I just wanted to see how far her could take it.
Mr. LaCroix is climbing up the ladder.
Output: I don't look down. I have a fear of heights.
Hello, I'm James Patterson.
Output: I love your work, and I hate my husband. Do you want to go on vacation with us?
It's so lovely to know you know a class British rhyme.
Output: Are you kidding, there was a movie about it, we all watched it. My Fair Lady, I think.
Oh, no.  Father.  You've returned?
Output: Well, I did but under terms of duress.  I need to talk to you about that copper coin you keep that I gave you from long ago.
Well, Clark's turned that around. He was a sore loser  and now he's really come to life.
Output: I know. I wish the cameras were turned on because this really doesn't really help anyone when they can't see his new side.
We could wait the three years to deposit the check or we could cash that check right away and really screw him over.
Output: But, the date is for three years from now.
You're so small I couldn't tell you were woman. I just saw a tiny little person in a fur coat.
Output: I could tell by those big birthing hips you have.
You know, Arlene, I always had kind of a crush on you in high school.
Output: You know what, after you did that piece, I was all in.
We like to work together, the two of us, we find we have a good sweeping and moping system, I Windex and he catches whatever falls.
Output: Jebodiah, Rhonda, what are you telling me? You're in love with each other?
Hey, Melissa, where did that guy come from out there?
Output: OK. This is going to sound crazy nut balls, but when I transported to New Orleans, that man in the crisp white suit was standing there.
I feel like I did a terrible job managing this team.
Output: We had so much faith because you were the big city guy and you promised us good business.
It's getting cold up here.
Output: Yeah, I don't think we have very much air left.
This dentist office has a dress code, so if the patient doesn't have a mane, we'll give them a fake one to put on.
Output: You know, nobody did anything to me as I walked in, so I thought I was up to code right away.
Well, but, it's what I love the most.  These secrets.  I don't want to give those up.
Output: Yeah, but you're dead.  You might as well give up your secrets.
Well, another round of Jagers for y'all? These are on the house.
Output: OK, Bernice. Another round sounds great.
Why do I come up with ideas if every time I say something you're automatically like "Go fuck yourself, Gaston?"
Output: Gaston, you are right again and I apologize for being so closed minded.
Almonds are a blood nut.
Output: Please don't say blood nut without consent.
You just keep putting the word "website" into the search bar. I don't know if that's gonna help.
Output: Oh, that made perfect sense to me. But I've never used the internet before.
Liam, they said there's not going to be a war. What do you think of that?
Output: This is wonderful news because I was afraid of getting shot in the face or the arm or the leg or the abdomen.
Excuse me, Paul. I think somebody spilled hot chocolate on my seat because the back of my cloud is cloudier than the front.
Output: Are you 100% sure it's not diarrhea?
Oh, shit, I fell asleep on the plane.
Output: Sir, your snoring has woken several people up, including yourself.
Hey man, Buffett's here.
Output: Hey dudes, how ya doing? Is everybody sunburnt and drunk? That's the way we do it here.
What do you want me to do about it, babe? You want me to beat him up? Would that get you hot?
Output: It might give me some solace, because it's been really upsetting.
And I still don't know. Anyway, this is cool. Hello everyone!
Output: Hello, local beefcake.
It's OK, Curtis. You're working so hard. You can't be asked to remember our daughter's name or how to keep time.
Output: I feel as if I'm forgetting more and more things.
Well, sea glass is a naturally occurring phenomenon and it's pretty. What you're collecting is just litter.
Output: And then you're putting it in a water bottle. That's full of water.
By the way, you two look cute together.
Output: Yes, we're very welcoming of you. That's what makes us new. Italians welcome gay people.
So, re-icing is a thing? Because I've never heard of that before.
Output: You've heard of de-icing. How do you think it gets ice in the first place.
Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe you don't want at Baskin Robins. You don't seem to have any supervision here, and you kicked everyone out of the store and locked the door.
Output: Oh, yeah. I'm the regional manager. I've been here three years, did you think I didn't move up the ladder?
Well, craziness is what you get for flying Southwest on Christmas Day of all days.
Output: Yeah, right. I just want to get home to see my family, you know. I left too late. Now, here I am, flying on Christmas Day.
Hey, Murnice, let me hold you. Do you love me or do you love my freckles?
Output: I love rock n roll, so I guess that means I love you.
Has anybody seen Sandy? You know, I was her body double and I just can't wait to see Sandy.
Output: Oh, right, your name is Tanya.
I'm not that white. We're not Patriots white.
Output: It's not an indictment. We chose you guys because you're the whitest people we could find.
Those two teens are just drinking lots of blood. They almost spat it on each other. That was going to be cool.
Output: Oh, I've heard of them. The Satan teens.
Yes, I'm the one holding the grudges. I don't get it either.
Output: I feel like you seem like an unreliable narrator.
Hey, what are you doing with that pillow?
Output: Oh, I'm just going to make sure you're nice and comfy. I'm the murder of land.
We're having a problem at the firehouse. None of us can remember how we got to the upper levels of the firehouse. We can only remember when we go down. This is probably something that happens in the workplace.
Output: Yeah, actually, it does. You know, I tried to be a fireguy one time. That might have been the main problem, that I kept calling it fireguys.
This is the worst mistake I've ever made, trying to leave.
Output: Catarina, we want to take you back into the family. And we also want you to always remember this and what you did and how bad it made everyone feel. That is what family is all about.
This culture and death. We are just too, we are behind the times. We are so afraid to talk about it. Just accept it, we're all gonna die.
Output: Yeah. My husband's dead. I'm honest about it. My husband died very recently.
I've decided to come down and live in the squalor and horrificness with the rest of you.
Output: Ok I mean no offense but that seems dumb I thought you were going to say we could live in the tower with you.
They've never been outside of their house in Malibu before, Tiptop.
Output: Oh, welcome to Van Nuys. It's quite a wonderful place. I'm sure you'll agree.
Oh there's a lot of choices.
Output: I see they have a bucket. It's a sundry bucket. There's crabs, and potatoes, and a crab or two. It's like a clam bake but in a restaurant.
You've just been hanging out at Build-a-Bear for hours pretending to work?
Output: I watch the conversations and that way, when I come back and tell you about the work, it's true. I've lied to you the least amount that I possibly could, Pat.
Kids, the reason I sent you here is because I wanted you to spend some time with my second husband.
Output: Are you our real dad? Can we just cut to the Chevy Chase?
Man, you're too good for this place. Like, you actually have talent. You need to get out of this Joe's Crab's Shack.
Output: But I like fucking around here with you guys.
Aww, Grandpa, c'mon. How'd you get out of your home?
Output: I walked out the front door, I guess. I do it all the time.
This is London, of course in New York, everyone scams everybody, but this is London.
Output: We can't get New York'd in London, it's true.
You puppets are either going to die on a flag pole or going back to being a puppet.
Output: We're either going to be sent in puppets that die on a flag pole or we're going to live out all eternity in a glass box.
Oh my god, get out of here, hobo. You and your Prius.
Output: You guys are mean. Figures you're Tesla snobs.
Last Blockbuster? Daddy-master, why didn't you tell us this before?
Output: How are we going to trust you again? You withheld this information from us.
You touched everything .Your fingerprints are all over the stole painting.
Output: That's why I always wear opera gloves. So that can't happen to me.
You do all the hiring? I didn't see you when you applied.
Output: I've been working here since I was 14. I wasn't hired at the time, I just started working here. As a matter of fact I've never been hired, they just can't get rid of me.
Iris, don't you know how to pluralize words?
Output: I can read super fast, it doesn't mean that I can talk super fast.
We have a lonely astronaut, sir. And because of that some of the food is being depleted.
Output: They're going to die up there, sir. If we don't move them back here to Earth, they're going to die.
Well, Dr. Phil, the piece of snack is out and you've made aviation history by landing that plane.
Output: I didn't think we were going to after I dumped all the fuel.
Everyone from the Hudson river valley is here tonight.
Output: All the fire exits are packed with townsfolk.
Sandra, Cold Storage Kids - can I ask, what is it that you want with human beings? What are you going to do to planet Earth??
Output: To eat flesh and drink blood.
We have eight pieces of lumber, he has, like, twenty.
Output: There should be a limit. Like a checkout line. Like an express lane.
Honey, have you been telling people that I'm not doing crimes when they ask about crimes?
Output: I rushed home as quickly as I could. I have been telling people that you're not doing crimes because you are doing crimes. It's against the law to do crimes.
So it was you who spilled the spaghetti noodles on the floor? I think I owe the boys an apologize.
Output: You own them apologizes for that and at least a few dozen other things that I did.
I've never seen you around this bar before, where are you from?
Output: I've only been here a couple weeks. I'm from the country. The country called Country.
To be honest, I just, after Antonio, I don't know. I've never let my heart back open.
Output: I haven't opened my heart back up since the divorce.
I didn't know you were writing again, Paul.
Output: Oh, yes. I've been spending a lot of time by myself writing long hand.
Let me put it in my 4-track and see what happens. Thank god I have one of these.
Output: Oh, Mr. Madison, he means well, but he keeps giving us things that we're not able to use.
Oh, yeah. Last year I lost two toes to frostbite.
Output: Really, and the umbrella's going to help you?
There's a statue in town with a giant hand. Shall we cut it off and scoop the snake up with that?
Output: Oh, yes. The great hand? I'm not sure what's great about it, but I do know what you're talking about.
Doug is ten, a feisty lad and he doesn't  care for rules or teachers and their dirty looks. He's the kind that will throw an egg on the carpet.
Output: Oh, I throw eggs on the carpet at my own house. It helps me relieve stress.
Let me whip you up something.
Output: How are you cooking just on the tray table of the bus?
I'm hurling my stapler at you. Get the hell out of my office.
Output: Oh no, the stapler went in my eye.
I want to warn you, it's a little bit of a lonely hobby.
Output: Yeah, it's just the two of us. Frank and myself.
I can't help that my hair is healthy because I refuse to perm it.
Output: You're missing out because that smell is to die for.
I'm waiting here for a lover-turned-friend. A friend-turned-lover.
Output: Oh, well that's none of my business. I'll just be on my way.
He's not trying to start trouble, we're just looking for North Street.
Output: We have a therapy session.
First, I have to ask you if you're a cop.
Output: Yes, I am. Is that a problem?
Ana, these are the remains of Rubber Band, our family pet.
Output: Oh, that just looks like a giant tapeworm to me.
Hi, I need some Tampax tampons.
Output: This is Home Depot, young lady. We don't sell feminine hygiene products. We have many different kinds of absorbent cloths for you, but that's not my department.
Here's what I want you to do. I want you guys to stop talking to each other and just communicate through your daughter, especially if you have sexual stuff to say.
Output: Alright, I'm up for it if you are. It sounds kind of weird, but I'll try anything.
It may surprise you all to know that years ago I met The Great One, Bob Hope.
Output: Richard Gere is the great one. He's great with a capital G.
You'll probably make the hotel more posh, probably give real bread to eat instead of wrapping food in newspapers.
Output: I might. I'm so sorry, it's true. And I'd definitely get rid of the ghastly wallpaper.
We want your friendship, so that we have access to your privilege.
Output: Right, the fact that we're even in a line is amazing.
I just had a heart attack.
Output: I'm gonna go over there because I don't want to be around if something chargeable happens to you. So, uh, call 911 if you need it. And if you don't, congratulations.
I wonder if we can decipher the strange characters on this map and find the adventure we're looking for.
Output: Surely all of us are anti socialized and friendless enough that we can absolutely decipher the map.
What if the person says they don't know how much they have to spend on books? What do I do then?
Output: That's a good what if. I guess we gotta ask some follow-up questions like "Hey, can you afford like a pack of straws to have in your home?" You know, feel out what kinda money they might have.
Hey, hang on there fella. This is my corner. I'm the only prostitute working here.
Output: Who are you calling fella, you big ape?
You're right. I think I read about this once. Man can become beast. Babies can become men.
Output: Yeah, the baby man is supposed to be in this region somewhere. Nobody's found the tomb.
They gave you an explanation when you came into hell?
Output: Yeah, the guy behind me went to hell because he's Jewish and he ate marshmallows.
Can we eat that? I'm asking the person with the gun.
Output: Go ahead. I didn't mean the whole restaurant captive. In fact, I've gotten what I need, so I probably should be scooting out of here.
Listen, the salesman is going to be getting on this train to go get married.
Output: So, he'll be stepping up onto the train and he'll be riding it.
So, even though the wolves were attacking you, you were somehow were cognizant that two hamsters were nibbling on your shoes.
Output: Yeah, because, I don't see color or, like, class or status. I always look out for the little guy, and that's when I discovered them. So anyway, I made them become friends. I'm basically a scientist now.
You're going to keep all of my photos?
Output: That's the way the contest works. We have to keep all of the photos for the next 20 years.
Look at you in that dress. It's not age appropriate.
Output: Hey, it's a new society. There's no rules anymore.
I like to be helpful because it's my job.
Output: Yeah, nobody can ever get fired for being helpful.
Well, Evelyn, there is hope for you. All you have to do is marry into the Orzaball family.
Output: Yes, and hope that your murderous rage doesn't have you killing everyone you know.
You're blaming us for seeing a rat, but you're the one that has rats at your fair.
Output: You probably brought that rat from Prior Lake.
Come look at my Duke's of Hazard bumper stickers.
Output: Oh, I love these. They say "Daisy Dukes, don't  ride so close to me".
The first counterfeit character impersonator we had at Universal Studios was Fatty Arbuckle.
Output: That was back when this was just an orange grove that people would tour.
The fourth cat's name is light sack.
Output: That was what I nicknamed my second husband.
Do you play Jackpot King?
Output: Yes, I need you to give me some chips or whatever. First, we need to be friends on Facebook.
I know the organ let us down last year during the playoffs.
Output: I don't look at it that way. It's not the organs fault.
Peggy, you said you thought going to Death Valley was a great idea and that it would be a wonderful place to celebrate our love.
Output: I just wanted you to marry me.
I like your shoes.
Output: They're not for sale.
Craig, I like this new voice modulation you're using. Bring that to the train station when it's time for the mission.
Output: Thank you, that was part of my initial plan.
We've never had ten year old children sentenced to community service before.
Output: We should have thought of that before we moved to this stupid place. This place is the problem.
Does anybody know how to pick locks?
Output: I mean, I know how to pick locks because I used to be a criminal.
It seems we have agreed to be an Abba tribute band, but change the lyrics to be highly personal about ourselves.
Output: Yes, the lyrics would be about ourselves or specifically about our heads.
Oh no, I have the movie tucked away in my skirts.
Output: So you still have Amile. Do you still have Last Action Hero?
Hey, I haven't seen you here in awhile. Thought you were a goner.
Output: Yeah, I've been putting in extra hours at The Forum.
I've never had an umbrella.
Output: Can I be honest? I don't know what one looks like.
Do you love us to put a bathroom in that god damn panic room?
Output: The bucket was gonna get pretty full.