niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
I'm Cynthia, drinker of bone broth and runner of the Grand Ole Opry.
Output: Cynthia is the boss around here. She drinks bone broth all day and runs the Grand Ole Opry like a Swiss Watch.
Do you think it's possible your wife just misspoke once and didn't want to be corrected?
Output: Lawrence, thank you. I think Lawrence gets it.
I'm performing at eight o'clock tonight, and I need a concerts worth of songs.
Output: We're trying our best.
I'm secretly doing another job on the side. Over on the corner here, I'm shooting a Tums spot.
Output: You're spreading yourself very thin. Is it a top secret Tums spot?
Yeah, and I don't see any moms here, so... it's gonna have to be you.
Output: OK, I mean I don't have any cash, but I have some stuff that could be considered valuable.
Are you the mother of the child that came today?
Output: Yes, I am the mother. I am 21 and she is 12. It was a modern science miracle.
You have 11 hours and 30 minutes to learn how to swallow swords.
Output: I gotta take a class. Do they have a sword swallowing class down at the strip mall?
Well, nice to meet you. My name is Bartal. I'm the stage Manager at the Grand Ole Opry.
Output: Yes, and I'm Cynthia, drinker of bone broth and runner of the Grand Ole Opry.
I'm a little concerned about Kurt. Is there anything we can do for him?
Output: Yeah, all we can do is give him painkillers at this point. He'll probably be dead by the time he's 12.
This is the first time you've offered me shrimp cocktail.
Output: Well, Gregory, it will probably be the last.
I didn't think this maze went on for miles.
Output: It's not like one continuous mile. It's like just all jumbled up together like the gastrointestinal tract.
Hello! It's past 2:00 am. Look who's out alone. Hey, have you ever put your penis in a vagina?
Output: Actually, I'm gay. I've had a rough night and just want to go to McDonalds. Hey, get your hands off my pants!
Every human being had a purpose, I think I have fulfilled mine.
Output: How could you have fulfilled your purpose in life? You are a terrible person you haven't fulfilled anything.
Kurt, you're 7 feet tall and your life is your own now.
Output: I'm going to be the youngest NBA player ever.
Why would you ask for sparkling water if you don't want it.
Output: I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to give it to me.
Hillary, what fun it was to judge this competition with you over this past season of Top Chef.
Output: Yes, Marco. You were such and inspiration for the judging.
Did you know Sally's mom before or after she was dying?
Output: She was always dying. We knew each other in high school, and even then she had double pneumonia.
Are you sure it's a good idea to drive to your parent's house? You're pretty drunk. How far away are they?
Output: They're all the way at the edge of the town. 18 1/2 miles.
Yo yo yo guys, I got your delivery from King Taco.
Output: Oh, man, it's Mr. King Taco himself!
Michael, that's what it takes? Getting wet after midnight brings you to life?
Output: I mean, that's my guess. It's happened enough times that it seems to be the common denominator.
How did you get so lucky?
Output: Well, you know, a three-car pileup and very poor medical insurance, but a great lawsuit equals to me being taken care of for the rest of my life.
Rick, did you just witness that tender moment?
Output: I did, and it was improvised. You didn't write that. That was from the heart.
The experiment sounds kind of scientific. I mean, there was an experiment of sorts.
Output: I set up a hypothesis, that the wall was strong enough. Tested it. Turned out to be right. With an unintended conclusion that the helmet was not quite strong enough.
See, I love water.
Output: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you're drinking lemonade.
These corn cob toys are deteriorating before my eyes.
Output: That's what makes them authentic.
Listen, Sandy. Oh, you're really ready to listen to me.
Output: Yeah, I'm so lonely.
You said that this ticket printed by itself. That can only be done by  a ghost or by Christ's divine inspiration.
Output: Let me see that ticket. It says 1947? It's not that year now.
We'll never sell this property. Not for any amount of money.
Output: Aw, fine. Then you just wait as we develop all around you.
I can crack any safe. There's a museum down the street.
Output: You'll be the lookout. Nobody will suspect a wheezing man.
Did he assault you in anyway?
Output: He kept on saying he was going to hurt the rabbits and he was going to throw the fish down the toilet. He was just a mean old kid.
Tia, as in spanish for ant?
Output: Interesting, I never knew that. 35 years old and I never knew that's what it meant.
You bought me another car? Again?
Output: What can I say - your wife Doris loves buying cars. I buy them every day, so many cars.
Tell your daughter she will never be able to leave this country until she gets old enough to leave this country.
Output: OK. I'll send my other daughter. She is also 21. How'd I do that? Who knows?
What is it, ma'am? You're gesturing so excitedly that you clothes are falling off.
Output: It's because it's been a wild and crazy day. My husband and I were just running through the forest earlier today and something really scary came up behind us. We just need help. We want to get out of here.
If the camera looks at me, do you want me to look at it and speak?
Output: Yeah, I want you to talk to it. I want you to say everything is fine.
I'm here to help you. Don't worry. I got your back.
Output: Alright, I appreciate it Pinky. What we're going to do is move this stack over to that stack. To kill time, I guess.
Who chose Mr. Blackwater to come in here with the big ideas, huh?  Everybody's going to die in St. Peter's Square??
Output: Listen, I'll let that one pass because I'm a professional, but you that shit again and I will terminate you.
With this pickle, your life is spared.
Output: Oh gosh, thank you Dr. Lecter.
We change out the protective strips every eight months.
Output: I do it personally.  Every eight months, I spend a Saturday changing underwear strips.
Hello, Uncle. It's wonderful to see you.
Output: It's nice to see you, as well. Step no further in this house with your shoes on.
We love the guests. That's my favorite part of the class.
Output: Oh really? I brought in Henry Miller. You asked the guy "how much does it cost to get your picture in a playbill?" You guys are dicks to these famous people I bring in.
Judy, what do you make of these weirdos?
Output: Well, as a race car psychotherapist, I think It's important for a couple not only to be honest with one another, but for really an entire population on this planet, to be honest with each other.
Do you think this is the real thing, finally, Rhonda?
Output: I think Jebodiah looks at me no way any other man has. He looks at me like if he can't have me, he'll kill me. Most men don't even look. See, you're averting your eyes.
Well, you saved all of our lives, yes. Not the other people on the roller coaster.
Output: Yeah, we probably should have spread the word that it would break.
Who's out there, Tina?
Output: Tina's out there, yeah. And there are some people that are, I guess, falling in love.
I'm TSA. Give me that bag. Are you going to play with me?
Output: OK, I see your glue gun. Take the bag.
I stole the animals.
Output: What? Did you steal them from a farm or from a small child?
Everyone else put their best foot forward on the show. That's certainly true of Daniel. He did a good job.
Output: Yeah, it was clear to me that I needed to come in and make an impression as a person first.
So, on the weekdays, you work here at the gym?
Output: Yep, I have to pay the bills.
Can y'all hurry up and move up there? My baby needs to get liquefied on the water ride.
Output: Wait, they let babies on this ride? I left my baby in the car because I didn't think I could put it on the ride.
Ken, do you think Chuck bought it? Do you think he bought that you were a zombie?
Output: He was busy on his phone playing Plants vs Zombies. I just figured I'd go with it and keep the reality real. So, I bit him.
It was bad enough when you all try to correct me, but now you're going to say the name Jim in my presence?
Output: Maybe he meant a different Jim?
You can each take a tablespoon of whisky.
Output: I'm so happy that you carry spoons on you. They're warm as well, just like the whisky.
Principal Durnham, am I still in trouble? The kids have turned into parrots and seem happy.
Output: Yes, you're still fired. The parents are furious that their children turned into birds.
Women just aren't good at juggling. There's more male clowns because I think they're better at juggling.
Output: Right, there's less male gymnasts and we're not complaining.
You didn't have to assume anything. I said. I kissed you with my mouth. I knew what I was doing.
Output: I kissed you back and it was great. I wanted to see you again.
You see the thing is your Mother wants to die.
Output: Is that why she is just letting herself float down that big river?
So you're in that drippy-looking painting thing?
Output: We like to call it an avant garde look at time and space.
Do you think that stand up comedy guy is related to Tina, the acting teacher?
Output: Aren't all British people related?
Dear, why did you follow me?
Output: Because I went to Build-a-Bear and you weren't there. They said that you muttered to yourself and walked out in this direction. I followed you.
You can't talk to my client unless I'm here and I OK it.
Output: I'm just talking to him as an employee of the amusement park.
Do you want some peacock milk?
Output: Yes, can we all go directly to the source to get it?
Yes, and next time the butter make it soft. This hard butter is impossible to spread.
Output: I'm so sorry. It just came right out of the fridge.
You can take my prescription and go and get jars and fill them up.
Output: Customer, you are pushing all my buttons. Will you stay here one moment?
Do you know each other? Hal Holbrook, this is Dixie Carter. Dixie Carter, Hal Holbrook.
Output: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Listen, can I be honest with you? I don't even want to be an actor. I only joined this troupe because I have a crush on you.
Output: Me? Solomon, how long have you been keeping that in? It can't work though. I don't date actors.
Have you ever fallen in love at a funeral?
Output: Actually, that's how I met my wife.
Hello, I was assigned to kitchen duty.
Output: Oh, hello. I'm chef Pierre. Nice to meet you.
I, 1000%  started the fire that burned Caesar's Palace to the ground, as well as invented the grilled cheese sandwich.
Output: Whoo Hoo! Oh my Goodness. You're the most interesting person I ever met.
Girls, we're having a family meeting!
Output: Am I getting paid for this?
Well, I'm glad you're enjoying all of the drinks. Usually when I have people over, they just request the one drink. But you wanted a variety. So I thought, well, you're my guest. You know, I want this mansion house to be a mansion home.
Output: When I made the order, I assumed you would combine all of them into one glass and not bring me three glasses.
So, how are you holding up. What, with Daniel and all.
Output: Mom, you don't have to say his name like that. In fact, I think this might be the holiday where he pops the question.
All right. Do you get the one where people think that your logo is a Satanist thing?
Output: Yes, yes. We do worship Satan here, so that's let me just clear that up right now.
Wait a minute, Calisto. When I was reading about going out of Malibu on my phone, I was told not to give strangers credit cards.
Output: But Tip Top seems really OK to me.
You know, Lorielle, if you two hadn't come to this haunted storefront and opened up an ice cream shop in the winter, I never would have been able to free my wife from her hellish torments.
Output: Wow, it's crazy how things work out. We're glad we could help you.
Hey, it's the Falconer from high school, Jimmy Dillon.
Output: Uh, Dillon Tristan, but my mom calls me Jimmy. Because that's what she named me.
It doesn't say that I didn't build the forest. 
Output: It actually does, it's on a sign, right there. In front of you.
He's offering us a bunch of money and think of all the wet peaches we could have. What kind of a life is this for us anyway?
Output: It's been getting a little boring, I agree. But what are we going to do with all that cash? I'm just gonna spend it on dumb things like tulips, fake tulips and big ponies.
Yes, this is the open call for the dentistry for my mouth.
Output: Teeth, I clean.
You brought your own soup and you have a cool umbrella.
Output: Thank you. I learned the hard way, you know what I mean?
We need a name for this tall person disease. 
Output: Yeah, I say we call it stretchitis.
I'm sorry. I don't see your name here on the list.
Output: Yeah, do you see that I have a wrench?
He's a social media manager. He has questions for me on opening a Twitter account?
Output: No, no, about your Twitter account. Do you want to have a Twitter account, an official account here for the aquarium?
Ma'am, you're going to have to step out of line and go to jail.
Output: My children will have to deal with the psychological consequences of their mother going to jail.
You're acting exactly the same as you did on the boat.
Output: Yeah, well, I'm captain of this island now.
Darling, you have to stop complaining. Your father and I won't be embarrassed on that stage.
Output: I understand. I get it. Just, all the other kids look cool. They put funny things on top of their hat.
Your whole life is being a waiter at Margaritaville?
Output: It's all I have and I need you to help me keep my job.
I think jorgans were the mind stealing jars of organs.
Output: Yeah, that would make sense. You put an organ in a jar that has a head cat thing.
This could be your chance to fill that picture frame that used to have divorce papers in it with your own marriage papers.
Output: Sinclair, that was beautiful. That was poetic.
He's thinking so hard he's sweating all over the place.
Output: Jeez, it's really fogging up in there.
Why are you so down on ladies, man? It's modern times. Ladies can be on juries.
Output: Look, ladies have injured me terribly in the past. Minorities, anybody that doesn't look like me, I don't trust.
Look, I got Hitler's heart.
Output: Good job, Ranch. You've passed the challenge. Now only 22 more challenges to go.
There's a Hot Dog on a Stick right over there. They hand make their lemonade.
Output: She wanted it from Joe's Crab Shack and I told her it's her birthday, she can have it from wherever she wants.
General, what we gotta do is get up on that moon. We gotta really rub them Russian's faces in it. I need you to get us on the moon. Wink. Wink. You know what I'm saying?
Output: I gotcha. I know what you're talking about. How many rockets do you want on there?
Jimmy Dillon Tristan, what would your mother say if she knew you had a gun?
Output: Well, she's out in the car. She's waiting to take me and Marge on a date.
Mr. President, the data feeds have stopped coming in from the Antarctica station.
Output: Is that a good thing? It doesn't seem like a good thing, maybe me should send in Delta Force.
Bill Phil Vanhaven, everyone knows him.
Output: Everyone knew Bill Phil. God, he was a good guy. He was a big gregarious fella, fireplug of a man.
Why doesn't daisy lead with I'm a sexist dick?
Output: Ok, hey, you don't get to say that, she's not your friend.
What are you doing to my wife!??
Output: I do nothing!  She do to me!  She make my rage go away!
I'm Adam. Nice to meet you.
Output: I'm Eve. Isn't this garden nice?
Oh, man.  It's like living in a sauna in this part of the south.
Output: It's December in the Pacific Northwest.
I heard you singing. It sounded so familiar from when I was a kid.
Output: Oh, I don't know. It's just something I've been kicking around. It belongs to this guy that I wasn't here to see.
Celeste, sweetheart, what's going on here?
Output: Be careful, Bobby. We caught a counterfeit Wreck-it Ralph and Mickey Mouse is giving him Disney justice.
They don't deserve to walk on dirt.
Output: The carpet is red because it's the blood of the masses that they're walking on.
I don't know how you're getting the information that there's been a murder here.
Output: The two dead bodies that are sitting on the golf course over there.
Coyotes were attacking you, but you made friends with them?
Output: Yeah, I made friends with a family of coyotes.
You disgust me and you always have and I think you need to know it and I think you need to live with the consequences of what you've done.
Output: Keep talking dirty to me.
I had my first grilled cheese sandwich when I was 22 in Vegas during the big Caesar's Palace fire.
Output: I remember that. They lost three centurions that day. It was really sad.
Well, there's your wives and family outside asked me to come in and check on you. To be honest I feel not respected as an officer of the law that I am playing messenger right now.
Output: Well, I'll be out when I'm ready to come out. We're dealing with this fellow here who's the movie police, apparently.
We have a corporate membership here, so just put it on our account and we're done. It's under Behemoth Religious Organization.
Output: OK, I'm just typing. Oh, there it is. Oh, it says here that you have a couple movies out.
Sorry folks, that area is employees only. We have a way of doing things here at Joe's Crab Shack.
Output: Well, you're an employee. Could you be an ambassador for us?
Guys, we really gotta do this soon. I don't know how much longer I can hold the two of you on my shoulders.
Output: Okay, take it easy. Chaz, how are you doing in the middle?
Are you gonna use the disk drive of the computer?
Output: I didn't even think of that. I rented this place that guaranteed that they had a DVD player.
Hi Mr.Harbor, I'm sorry, I thought maybe you were Meredith's brother.
Output: It's just because of these short shorts I'm wearing. I look youthful.
She was a teenager. She was horrible.
Output: Teens are the dredge of the Wisconsin Dells Water Park. They're like a fly in your burrito.
Oh man, that really aggravated my cancer.
Output: Jeez, it's sticking out.
I got you. Your ice pick is now mine.
Output: Oh no. What are you doing? The moonshine was supposed to knock you out completely.
Alright, folks. We are 3 Ashes and 2 Cinders and we need a suggestion for a place where people might work, like an Arby's or a Dairy Queen.
Output: How about a bank! It's spelled with a B. What's wrong with your bat ears?
Do I get to call 911 or do you? Or do we not report these animals to 911?
Output: Let's report it to 411 and see what happens.
Why would I want to eat vegetables? They taste like the dirt.
Output: Yes, but they are good for you. Your shirt is not able to be buttoned.
So, corporate is changing the signage and menu before telling the workers that it's changing?
Output: We found out that the Julius part of our marketing is what works for people.
You have stumbled into my web.
Output: Is that what this stuff is? I thought that you just didn't clean your tinsel up from Christmas.
Marge, you were the one who wrote the memo? I'm glad you're coming clean because you signed that memo "We are legion."
Output: Well there are only five of us in the office, who did you think it was? I just meant me and all of the women out there who long for a simpler time when the Nazis had just been defeated. Women were code breakers and leading secret lives.
Well Todd, you look all dressed up. I hope you're not missing something.
Output: Oh, I'm supposed to go to this funeral. I was going to be the guy who sings the funeral song.
Dad, you're the best!
Output: Yeah, I know I am. I'm larger than life. It makes it kind of hard to find pants that fit.
Desiree, I remember meeting you in the waiting room!
Output: Yes, and now you're standing on a tall stack of oil cans, threatening to jump and take your life.
Listen, normally I just like small groups of people, like three. But I've learned in my heart that sometimes there's bigger groups of people around and I've got to get with the times. So, Alexandro, will you marry me?
Output: Lisa, as much as I don't like to talk about myself, you asked me a question. And the answer to that question is yes. Yes, I will marry you, Lisa.
Excuse me. Vlad? We can't have you using the break room computer for personal emails.
Output: Please, Sherry, give me just one second. I just sent an email to myself to talk to customer.
This dog is really irritable.
Output: He's pointing to a picture of chicken cor don bleau. We're not gonna make you chicken cor don bleau. You're a damn dog.
Excuse me, is that you?
Output: I think I am me. Except for in 2009 when someone stole my security number. I've been myself the whole time.
So you don't want to go back to the whole planet of Earth because your cousin ignores you?
Output: Well, the moon looks pretty cool. I could spend the rest of my days on the moon frolicking around with our new cat.
I'm a ghost now. I swallowed that water bottled filled with glass. It did the job. It hurt, very bad.
Output: That's the thing, how you die is how you continue to hurt forever.
I have a question. I didn't eat the apple. I was just hanging out. Why should I be punished?
Output: Granted, I wasn't paying attention to what was going on, but you clearly made him do it.
I don't like the way this surgery situation is set up. First come, first serve and you try to get a good spot. We're surgeons. We're supposed to be able to sleep in if we want.
Output: Yeah, you're right about that. Maybe we should ban together and create some kind of union or something.
You're afraid of my buttons?
Output: Yes, I'm afraid of the buttons on you're outfit. They're from France.
Oh, I forgot you told me this when it happened.
Output: Yes, you were there with me.
Greetings, Earthlings. Which of you is Julius Caesar?
Output: That would be me. Over here. And what are you? A robot?
What an incredible set. So many amazing jazz tunes.
Output: Thank you for enjoying all of my jazz tunes and being patient with my water drinking out of this flute. It was made a little more difficult, because I thought I could use the flute like a straw, but one end has been welded shut.
This is the first time I've left both attics.
Output: Wow! You need a tan.
You have to bet on them. You can't just lay the money on the horses.
Output: Well now I know that. I lost 100 million dollars when I put it on its saddle and it galloped all the way to the bank.
Dad, what was all that screaming coming from the art store?
Output: Don't worry about it, Dean. It's just grown up stuff. Just grown up screaming.
Hey, Art, what's going on? Fancy running into you at this bar.
Output: Hey, Rudy. I just got three scoops of cookies and cream.
Let's do notes. Do you mind sticking around for notes?
Output: Oh, sure. I love to listen to people talk and pretend I'm not around.
I'm Julius Caesar. And who might you be?
Output: I am a traveler from beyond the stars. I come from the planet Feelings. I am full of emotions.
Also, can we also get two cups of water? We'll only be drinking water. If it says H2O on the cup, that's all we're allowed to drink and that's what we will drink.
Output: Do you think I haven't seen this before? I'm a restaurant-our, OK? I have a guy who escorts you to the soda fountain. Big Tom. He's going to walk you over to the soda fountain. They can only have water.
I think it's unseemly that there's dead bodies that are part of the miniature golf layout.
Output: This culture and death. We are just too, we are behind the times. We are so afraid to talk about it. Just accept it, we're all gonna die.
Tom, this mall is dependent on you. Look at all this leasable space around you.
Output: There's so much, Mr. McGonigal.
That's a big word for a young child. Where did you learn that word?
Output: In the encyclopedia. It's like the internet, but dusty.
I don't feel so good. I tried to sing high and I'm just not feeling it.
Output: Oh, no. Do you need to sit down. How long have you had this cold?
Oh, boy did I have a rough day. Can I get a ghost beer please? Thanks.
Output: Hey, I haven't seen you here in awhile. Thought you were a goner.
I feel like this couple from London is living our life.
Output: We're sitting here on the front row like a bunch of chumps.
Oh, you're the guy who sells the Land Rovers.
Output: I do sell Land Rovers. I tracked these people here by their GPS. And all of you are going to jail.
Has there ever been a case where someone's asked for the fortune cookie that they also are entitled to the fortune? I say no.
Output: Objection! I'd like to cite the 1973 case of Mrs. Mary vs The People of California.
Times are changing. New things are constantly being invented.
Output: Hey, one day there was no car. Next day, there was a car. I like that joke.
Alright, Mr. Farro. Mel, you're doing great. Here's your book, script. Here we go.
Output: Good news guys, pudding for lunch again!
Donny, are you properly throwing away the laptops at the end of the night?
Output: Yeah, I'm getting rid of the ones from Tuesday on Wednesday.
It's one of those PC LensCrafters. We don't give things that make shooters better at seeing.
Output: Even for servicemen? Are you against our soldiers?
I mean, the post office is losing stuff all the time. I had so many birthday cards get lost on the way to my house, I just figured they got up and ran away. That's the only logical solution.
Output: See, I thought it was guys like Roger who were just opening peoples' mail.
Thank you, a lot of people say I'm handsome-ish.?
Output: Yeah, you're handsome-ish. I'm one of those people that says that. You have those nice long thumbs.
Your son is just like your husband? Is that what you're telling me?
Output: Just like him. Can you believe it? It's unbearable.
You grew up so big, Anna, but you still talk like a baby.
Output: Well I am Italian after all.
I am pretty sure I am from Russia but I'm not 100% where any of you are from.
Output: Catarina, we work so long together. And now you ask me this, where we are from?
Did they say they were traditional? I must have misheard that.
Output: I hope not because, if they're going against the tide and being traditional, I am joining that tide.
I'll be deciphering that all night.
Output: Well, yeah, I mean you could think about it, but it's not worth it.
Danielle, you have been touched by a doctor and I cast you out.
Output: But he saved my life. I'm going to go to the R-BnB, too. I'm leaving you.
Well, you keep that detached leg really close to you and give it a little hug.
Output: I keep it close and give it a little snuggle every night.  It's a special snuggle that only me and my leg understand and share.
Any thoughts on ordering at all?
Output: We want one soup, four spoons.
This is wonderful. Cracker's in my band, Murnice is my wife. We need a roadie.
Output: Oh, I'd love to be a road.
I'm the head of Universal Studies Motion Pictures.
Output: Karl Lampley?
Wait, you're demonstrating how to pick a pocket? To your young apprentice?
Output: Yes, yes. It's for theater class.
My darling, don't use my name.  Don't use my name.?
Output: But, Maria, I just thought it'd be nice to call you by your name a little here and there.
Mr. Simmons, that interview didn't go so well, did it??
Output: No, I was not prepared. I'm sorry that I called in in a fit of peak.
I'm going to be Mayor some day. So, why don't you come to the prom with me and you'll be able to say that you went to the prom with the mayor before he was the mayor.
Output: Not only will I not go to the prom with you, I don't want to see you at the prom at all. I don't want to see you there. I don't want to smell you there. I don't want to taste you there and I certainly don't want to see you dance there.
What a great day for food.
Output: It is, Sherry. It's a great day for food.
Delores, you should not be involved in this science fair, at all.
Output: Yeah, I may be a drunk lady that throws up all the time and I'm a terrible step-mother, but I need to see that justice is done.
Judy, I'd like you to meet some of the underlings of the mars bases.
Output: My Dean, he's so good to those underneath him. He really treats them as humans.
I don't know where he is either.
Output: I told you we never should have gotten Todd to do the song.
We didn't even tell you about him
Output: I liked what I heard.
It is a little interesting and amazing that I came back.
Output: She was that good, huh? I'm looking forward to the concert.
Can you tell me where I am right now?
Output: Your crisp white suit tells me that it's summertime wherever you go. I know that much.
What do you think, should we do it Meriam?
Output: I think so. If we don't I'm worried this guy is going to eat the children. We want them to work not get eaten for goodness sake.
I'm currently unemployed, but I'm working on an adult novel.
Output: That is the saddest sentence I ever did hear.
So this is a time seal?
Output: Yes. It's a time door. It's not scheduled to open again for another two years. But I'm not great at math.
You killed that postcard that a lady sent from Madrid.
Output: I didn't like the cut of its jib.
We both went on a journey. We ended up at this golf course where everyone was foreign and we were hoping to have a very abroad experience.
Output: Here at this miniature golf course?
You're finished, Geum. You're out of the FBI. You betrayed your country.
Output: Oh, no. Oh, god, the lies I've lived. I'm sorry.
You were mentally gone for a long time, man. I was slapping you for like 30 minutes.
Output: Oh, that's why my face is stinging.
Our therapist Nancy would say you're purposefully antagonizing me right now.
Output: Yeah, the same one that told us there was a North Street in Philadelphia? Right now I feel a little screwed over by Nancy.
What if we invite the new resident over under false pretenses and then we push her out on stage in front of a live audience.
Output: Get her on the horn immediately. I'd like to speak with her.
To be frank, sir, even the poor people in Malibu have better houses than I do.
Output: Well, that's because you're an outsider, Rodney. And everyone will always regard you as such.
I'm just so proud of you. I never thought you would be the man that you are. It was really touch and go for awhile there.
Output: Grandma, completely, thank you so much.
Well you know, one of these days, Colombo is going to solve my cold case. I've a time traveler, of course, I've seen that all comes to be. I'm almost like a psychic.
Output: Cheryl, you don't have to rub people's faces in it.
You can go to New York City and dance.
Output: I've thought about that, but instead I've decided to go to Un-namedville, USA.
You can lock stuff away in your desk with little keys.
Output: Yeah, that's a basic function of most desks.
Why did you tell us that story? You told us that you throw many high society balls and then told us about one going terribly wrong.
Output: Yes, and that's the only time it went terribly wrong.
Well, since you're the oldest, most interesting person at this fair, I'd just like to get some of your stories. You must have some cool fair stories.
Output: Well, this is exciting. No one's ever asked me to tell my fair stories before. I was born in 1912 and I've been working at this fair since I was a little boy.
Rather than grade your homework day by day, I'm going to give it to you all now. You've got the year to finish it. Just give it to me at the end of the year.
Output: Mr Powellmore? What if I finish it early and I turn it in tomorrow? I mean, is there any way I can get my grades early? 'Cause my dad really wants to see like, that I'm working hard and that I'm putting the time in.
It's going to be good. I'll punch with my knee.
Output: That's a kick. Or a knee, really.
Aren't you a chimney sweep? You should be the one going down the chimney.
Output: Well, it's been so long. I haven't gone down a chimney in years.
Hey, this lady can't help that she's drunk.
Output: I have a disease. Alcoholism is a disease and I have it and I love it.
Hello, have you found something to your liking?
Output: Yeah, I've heard about them trollbeads. They say that they're at K, and every kiss begins with Kay.
Roger, you got me? Can you hear me?
Output: Yes, Don, I can hear you in my ear wig and I see words on the prompter. It's standard beginning "Good evening, Machete Falls, I'm Roger News. Welcome to News Control".
I just went out and did crowd work for 30 minutes to buy you some time.
Output: I know and everyone is furious. You were roasting people left and right.
Well, it's boring here. Maybe i shouldn't have left. Let's see what's on TV. Do you guys feel like watching something?
Output: I don't know. Something sexy. I mean, old episodes or Jersey Shore. I mean, I just like to have fun.
We're expecting highs in the 36's and lows in the 20's.
Output: Wait. Are you doing Celsius again?
If we're at Tommy Bahama, should the music we play be like Jimmy Buffet? That feels like a home run.
Output: I have to be honest with you, and it's hard for me to acknowledge when I'm wrong. But I've never googled the Bahamas. And in my mind, everything down in on the islands is Jamaica. I just picture everything is reggae.
Come on, take the shot, ghost Wilt Chamberlain.
Output: Maybe my patented underhand style will work this time in the afterlife.
You ran away and missed the t -shirt guy.
Output: He sounds wonderful.
Not only does Ralph not have to give you his pants, he didn't have to give you his bag, and you're not allowed to glue peoples' mouths shut. This is America.
Output: We've done some googling while you've been abusing this gentlemen and, frankly, you're abusing your power. What do you think you are, a religion?
Every year, we janitors clean the red carpet. We vacuum it. We shampoo it. We use our vacuum cleaners from home.
Output: I brought my own Dyson.
Now, does anyone have an Epipen? This man seems to be having an allergic reaction.
Output: Please, help my husband. We just got married, I don't want to be a widow so soon.
OK. So, in 2015, Prince is still alive?
Output: Well, of course he is. What are you talking about?
Hi guys. Hi boys. My name's Jennifer. There's so many of you.
Output: I'm the most mature here, so you probably want to talk to me a little bit.
JoAnn, please hold my calls. I'm going to run out and get a sub sandwich.
Output: Dr. Hawaii, I'm so sorry, but there's a pig emergency.
Can I ask how she died? How did she pass?
Output: Yes, you can. she was lifting a brick off of someone and he shot her.
Do you need a ride?
Output: Yeah, I'm going to see an old friend, who I think is in hospice care.
I was thinking about bludgeoning each and every one of you with a mace, you know it has the spikes? It's like a club with spikes. You just hit someone 'til they're a pulp.
Output: You're a terrible girl. Put your clothes back on and get out of my classroom.
Why don't you just retire? This is so much stress for you.
Output: I got kids.
I'm going to have to hear this from your wife. Where is she right now?
Output: Oh, she's at home. She's resting because of the rapids incident.
Robert, I'm back. I got the bowl paint.
Output: Hello, honey. Thank you so much for bringing the paint back.
Have you looked at that money closely? It's funny money.
Output: It's got Morgan Freeman's face on it.
Well William, let's head out there in these brown shirts. But let's put on a little green, too. How about some green scarves?
Output: Hey, what if we drew lines on the sleeves like in a pattern?
I'm not going to lie to you. That candy has been here for a long time. And the Snowcaps are even older.
Output: So you don't do a lot of candy business at Blockbuster?
Well I guess Kay's not coming back to work.
Output: I was hoping she would, but I suppose she isn't.
It's starting to get cold. Thomas, give us your coat.
Output: I don't know about that. I'm so small and stringy, I'll freeze to death.
Did you get the scroll, what happened?
Output: They didn't have anything without dairy or soy. They tried to give me toppings. And they had the scroll in the register, so they couldn't open it.
At risk of being too forward, you smell like oregano.
Output: I bartend at a pizzaria, so that's probably why.
I'll tell you what I'll let you guys in because you seem to love it so much. And I, frankly I hate my job. So who cares? Go ahead and enjoy yourselves in there. But just so you know, it's not a thing we do. This isn't a gift to me that you guys are going in gratis.
Output: I don't know. We're willing to do it for no money. I don't even want to see the game.
So, you were attracted to all of Lad's power?
Output: I love power. It's my favorite personality trait.
So, the problem with Pastor St. Augustine's outburst is that it's time consuming?
Output: That's the main thing. We've got some things to do.
I could make the good parts of you dream come true except for the parts with the Frenchman.
Output: I like that part of my dream because then I can take him to court and sue him for $1 Million.
Susan, I have no interest in seeing you naked ever again. Neither does anyone on Holly Court.
Output: There might be an audience member who is wondering for the first time what these breasts look like.
Yeah, that's the move I saw you doing in Cirque Du Soleil.
Output: Guys, probably not a great idea to stroll down circus memory lane right now when we're hiding and trying to be quiet. We've got to stay perfectly still, or they're going to see us.
If there's one thing that maybe you need to learn before you graduate, David, is to learn people's names.
Output: Rick, you've blown me away with that. I am sorry for the way I've treated you, and also you, Bob.
What is the number one rule of 9-11? Fill, fill, fill. No dead air.
Output: You don't understand. Week after week, I get calls from that Houstons restaurant, saying there's some sort of weird thing going on there.
Time to eat more fuckin' meat.
Output: Tony, I've been having the runs for like 22 years now. I thought diarrhea was just regular poop this whole fucking time. I go to the doctor, he tells me I'm eating too much meat.
I didn't shed a tear when the zombies came and got him, let me tell you.
Output: If that guy was my husband I would have taken a peach can opener to him.
Are you doing that?
Output: I think that's my car's soul.
The elevator is stuck. Oh my god.
Output: Don't worry about it, the elevator will be back up shortly. There's an electrical problem with the light. Maybe it's alternating current or direct current.
Don't you think that if you spend a little bit more time thinking about what you could give to the world and your contribution to the universe and less time bowing to a God you've never met, you might not be a drug addict?
Output: Wow, you just blew my mind.
OK, well listen. I got a guitar, I gotta a can-do attitude, and I'm real small. Any suggestions?
Output: I got a suggestion. Why don't you make like a turtle and, uh, leave slowly?
I was a Falconer in the '80s, playing football.
Output: So when you watch your son in the Falconers TV special, do you sometimes feel like it's you playing, because you have the same name?
OK, don't put us in with those people's realms. We're only pretty poor. We all have bad homes.
Output: Yeah, we're months away from tent city.
I have to say something. Your story of love and anniversary has softened my goblin heart. You said you wanted chocolates? Well, as Willy Wonka of this hotel, here are some tan chocolates.
Output: They look like milk chocolate and white chocolate mixed together perfectly.
Artists could express themselves.
Output: They could drink out of plastic cups that they can't seem to in their god damn hand and then drop them on the floor.
If there's a way that Melissa can be in a relationship and still maintain a successful business, I'd be OK with that.
Output: At this point, I need to explore my super power issue right now. I may need to step away from the business.
Mr. Mitierry, are you doing okay?  Because sometimes when your neck is moving when you're talking it looks like you are maybe having a strain.
Output: That's a gobblers piece of skin that I had added so that people could understand how delicious my food tastes.
Hello, I've just come from the botoxory. Oh, I'm positively pickled. I can't move an inch. It's fabulous.
Output: You look like an infant in a business suit.
We did. I mean, look, he wanted to rape me, but then we worked it out.
Output: I mean, can you fault someone for wanting? You know, as long as you don't act on it.
Oh no, it's that bully. I thought I felt a wind in the drawer.
Output: I was hiding in the backseat with this here magazine.
Honestly, I think my friends are cuter than me.
Output: Well, I think I have a solution to your problem. You have to get a group of friends where you're the cutest and they'll never abandon you. People like to be around attractive people, and they hate being around ugly people.
And you're taking those movies with you, Amile and Last Action Hero?
Output: I have rented one of those R-BnBs.
You would think that, cocaine lady.
Output: My name is Militia.
So what, you're going to put the lids back on the tubs?
Output: Yes. That's ten, twenty, thirty one. They're all safe.
I'd like you to establish a meaningful relationship with this boy. What do you think? He needs to be on the straight and narrow.
Output: I can only move forward. That is in my past. I was tricked to have the baby from a scallop man doctor.
Suedeface, is it possible to become Suedebaby again or is this it? I would love it if Suedebaby could kill everybody.
Output: Sure, I can do that. It might take some practice.
Look at this place, it's dusty, there's an cigar store Indian statue.
Output: But the rates are very low. I mean, we got a real bargain on this hotel room.
Why do you walk in the woods child?
Output: I don't know, I drank this sauce and something overcame me and I came straight out to the woods. I just ran.
Duck is a very fatty bird.
Output: Yeah, that's true. Some people like it and some people don't. I kind of like it because I like fatty meat.
Thank you very much. I'm blind.
Output: So you're a regular glasses-wearer then.
Those are all bad places to be shot.
Output: Right, none of them are desirable.
Hey, I got a great deal on eggs for you.
Output: Oh thank god, the business is not going well.
Ricky, you scared away those demons.
Output: Yeah, well, that's the one good thing about being a dead guy. Demons are scared of you.
Do we know if there are Asian nominees?
Output: Of course there's no Asian nominees.
When I first met you, I wasn't sure about you, with your hair spikes. Then, as I got to know you, you seem like a fine young man.
Output: I am. I'm college educated. And the spikes, let me make a peace sign right next to your face and say: it's a family thing.
I just feel like I've been hard on you because I was jealous when you were holding all of those customers in your arms. It's like, you never hold me, old Timmy.
Output: It's almost like, if I can say, as the mother in the corner of the office - Tim - it's almost like you've been so busy touching people you haven't really been seeing them.
No strings on me, fiddle-dee-dee.
Output: Hold on, I'm going to run my hand over the top of him, make sure there's no invisible strings.
Well, guys. We have 1 minute until showtime.
Output: I guess we're not taking that nap.
You know, every day I think I have to get out of this marriage and then you get me back every day with your words. OK. Let's swim together.
Output: Thank you for that vote of confidence. I feel like I'm recharged, knowing you love me. Now, I'm going to pop for these tickets because it's our anniversary.
Oh, you're talking my wife up there? You want to sign my wife?
Output: I want to sign her, but she hasn't done anything that I haven't heard before. If she's got one piece of original material, I'd take her.
I feel like we were gone forever.
Output: Yeah, and you know what's weird? I had the weirdest dream.
I just want to make love to you. I wish all these people weren't here right now, Larissa. I want to put our bodies on top of each others bodies.
Output: We are both Gods instruments. Let us show the people what it means.
If they don't know that you are coming, you definitely want to lead with the side pony.
Output: Like sneak up on them like a velociraptor from the periphery.
Sir, if you think about it, nobody really knows where the toilet water comes from.
Output: So, it is possible it could come from a beautiful french lake.
He's just a dumb baby.  Listen to him making those noises.  He honestly thinks he's talking right now.  That's terrible.
Output: Exactly.  He doesn't deserve this wonderful name that we, as his perfect parents, have come up with.  We need to bestow it upon a more deserving creature.
And where are your boobs?
Output: Yeah, where'd they go anyway?
Hey, forgive me. I know this is probably an annoying question. I'm new here. Can you tell me what the actual time is?
Output: Time is a riddle. Time wraps itself around like a coil of a spring that has never sprung, like a dew drop thing that falls up into the cloud. Time is nothing and everything. All is time. Four forty seven.
I'm on the kind of diet where I only eat parts of the animal that are indiscernible and you can't tell where it's from. 
Output: I like to think about where it came from.
Speaking of funny stunts, I stole a Ouija board.
Output: Trace, that's a scary stunt.
This is Steve. He's Steve Dons.
Output: He wants to smoke. He's the one who said "I hope we can smoke."
Jim, what the hell are you doing here?
Output: You can walk away from this hayride and I won't blame you.
You don't look like a goth anymore.
Output: I stopped wearing the eyeliner.
Curlyn's name is like Charde. Some letters you don't need and then sometimes, you hear sounds, but there's no letters.
Output: That sounds like jazz.
Your son wants to work at Subway, or is it Quiznos. What's the difference?
Output: There's a big difference between Subway and Quiznos. At Quiznos the sandwiches are toasted by default.
I don't want to live in a parallel universe anymore. I know the work here is great for you, but it's not for me.
Output: You're right. None of us want to live here, but the only way we're going to destroy it from within is to infiltrate their society.
We'll give you fifty dollars for that painting.
Output: That's exactly what I'm asking. That works out great.
What kind of piano are you building? Is it that kind that has a tack hammer?
Output: I am building a piano that has a tack hammer. I am building a piano that speaks to the dead. And that's why I'm in a hurry. And I'm sorry that a piano, in and of itself, wasn't enough to let me cut the line, but apparently I've had to tell you the real truth.
After that chance meeting, Dame Judy Dench and I became friends. 
Output: So, she threatened to eat you and then you became friends.
I don't think anyone is going to ride the ride if it's called the Matterhorn.
Output: We should come up with a smaller name that we can fit on a cap.
When I was a boy I always told my brother I bet you I can stay awake longer than you.
Output: Oh i remember this game I remember it well I'm going to bet you tonihgt that I am going to stay awake longer than you.
My name is Flip.
Output: It says it right on his name tag that his name is Flip.
Marjorie, look, I'm walking around in Wrinkle's body.
Output: Oh, darling. It's just as I've always dreamed. Your face is on another man's body.
His name is Amos. And I call him Famous Amos and he calls me Sweet William. My sweet cookie brother.
Output: My sweet floral brother. You know there's flowers named after you, you're so sweet.
How long as your dog been on life support?
Output: Well, it depends on how much you classify life support. I mean, he's had a ventilator for a while.
You're not totally convinced of the things that I am claiming, which are true?
Output: I do see you in this new light, where you are very flamey, but I feel like I need to see more fire in your eyes.
That's extreme.  That's something world dictators do.  Not high school boyfriends.
Output: I know what I know and I know my heart got atrocity.
Well, I mean, it's just acting, who cares? It's pretend. When am I ever going to have to deliver a monologue that's so important.
Output: That really hurt my feelings there, to call it just acting.
I didn't realize those boxes would be so heavy. I didn't know what was inside the boxes.
Output: It's OK, Nooky. We're not mad.
Oh my god, you're Napoleon.
Output: And that's Genghis Khan!