niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
Honey, should I get back on the plane? Do you want an orange julius?
Output: Of course. I'll never say no to an orange julius.
Is it just me, or is it very warm in here?
Output: It's Palm Springs. You're at an outdoor pool. It's pretty warm.
Yay! I've been here waiting for you the whole time.
Output: You were right under my nose, but you should have been under Darlene's nose.
So, I just have to spend the rest of the day and night here in Charleston, SC and then tomorrow, I can return to Savannah, Georgia.
Output: Sure. We can give you a two for one ticket for Big Mamma Jugs.
Did you ask me where I dry my clothes?
Output: Yeah. On a line, in a dryer, at a dry cleaner?
Am I able to leave the parking garage even though I don't have a ticket?
Output: Well, yeah. You don't have a car. I can't stop you from walking out of here.
You said your wife looks like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. I gotta ask: Judy Garland Dorothy or Diana Ross Dorothy?
Output: Diana Ross Dorothy. But she has the voice of Judy Garland. So that's kinda confusing for people.
You made me something? It looks like a rabbit.
Output: Yeah, I feel you had a real hoppy spunkyness about yourself. So I was like, you remind me of a rabbit.
I say "alien" in a very respectful way.
Output: Dig deeper or I'll kiss you on the lips.
Kyle, what do you think man? She would buy this sack of kids?
Output: Are any of those kids related to famous people? Because if so, I'm all in.
Lets do something we haven't done since we were young men lets sleep head to head you're head touching the top of my bed.
Output: Oh sure yeah yeah yeah in our gigantically long bed.
I couldn't find a crab costume that fit me.
Output: Oh, me neither!  I was standing in the dressing room at Macys asking my wife if she thinks the claws made my arms look too big.
In my background, we did a lot of improv games. Perhaps we can do a little bit of pass the clap.
Output: From where I'm from, that's not something you want to do. We don't pass the clap, at least not on purpose.
I will take the spirit of Terri Shivo and live like she would live.
Output: Yeah, think about her. Think about what Terri would do in this situation.
Well you got me tied to the top of this thing.
Output: We only have you up there so you don't puke on everyone all the time!
I think the way you're looking at the Park Ranger might have given a little bit away that you're alive.
Output: I was just doing a classic ventriloquist dummy with my eyes shifting back and forth.
Sandy, your mother and I have something we'd like to tell you. We're moving to a fishing village in Alaska and we're not going to tell you which one it is. So this is goodbye. You've been, uh, a daughter.
Output: I have been a daughter. I've been the best daughter, I thought.
I want to make another wish.
Output: OK, because I forgot what the first ones were.
My name's Irv.
Output: Hi Irv. You've got a great body.
I'm concerned for your health and it would be negligent of me to let you go on like this, staying in the sun so much.
Output: I've been getting that a lot. You know I'm an actor, they actually brought me in to audition for Black Panther and I had to tell them that I'm Scandinavian and white.
Show me the songs you have so far!
Output: Okay. I just thought I'd write this one. This one would be on piano. It's about some kind of tough stuff. It would be like, "She's a brick, and I'm drowning." And I thought I would sing it. But it's weird because it's about abortion. And I'm a dude.
All right, this is getting weird.
Output: Yeah do you think we could just, like, politely leave because Van Helsing is supposed to kill Dracula and I don't think that's about to happen.
Judy and I used to date.
Output: Well, that is somewhat true. We used to bake pies for pie contest together, which I can see you're still doing without me.
Who are these androgynous pimps?
Output: Who are you calling androgynous? I'm very clearly a sexy lady.
Those were special Tums. You weren't supposed to eat that many, Beverly.
Output: I ate three bottles worth of them. It was a new flavor I hadn't tried before.
I can. You could have stepped into my both. Now you're stuck with a lobster child.
Output: Your booth? I thought this was a play, not a craft fair.
Ace of Spuds is potato based. It's a bottom layer of baked potato and then four playing cards. Then the other half of the potato is on top.
Output: OK. I don't gamble.
You think I should stay at my job?
Output: Stay there. You show them what you're made of. You're Doris God dammit.
I know you're down to the one arm, and I appreciate you waving me over to your table to wish you a happy birthday.
Output: He had to put down his beer to wave you over, so that's a big commitment.
I'm right here. I just wanted to see what it would feel like to be a wall flower again.
Output: Everyone in my life leaves and I thought you were just like them.
Well, Marianne. I guess our job is done here.
Output: Larry, we should get back to that mountain. Have we really just been avoiding it?
I wish you could see the movies that Daniel picks. They're terrible.
Output: I just get to return them having not seen them.
Where's my seal skinning knife? I can't find it anywhere.
Output: Hold on, I was sitting on it the whole time. I was on the chair the whole time. It almost fell through the cracks.
I'm elderly so I'm unfamiliar with the film The Neverending Story.
Output: Well, so is the film. None of us are young for referencing it so heavily.
Now that my wife, Tina is freed, I guess it's time for me to get out and live my life. 
Output: Yeah, you can go out into the sun and live at the age of 90.
There's a rumor going around that your dad is the Ralph of the grocery store "Ralphs".
Output: He married into it. He was previously married to Tammy Albertsons.
If the people think to call you, can you just tell them over the phone? The answer is yes, spouses cheat. Your spouse is cheating.
Output: That's what I do. Well, I make them come into the office and then I tell them 100% your spouse is cheating on you, then I just cash that paycheck.
You can eat all you want at the buffet in the hospital inside a convention center in Scottsdale, Arizona on the hottest day of the year and you can still sleep with anybody you want to.
Output: Especially if you're wearing a borrowed crab costume.
Yeah, so Kylie and I just met this guy and he wants to buy a bike.
Output: Hello, sir, welcome to DM Sliders' Bike Shop.
Can I do old man makeup for my art project?
Output: You could, but it's pretty simple. You just take an eyebrow pencil and draw lines on your face.
Darling, he's made it clear his pride prevents him from skipping the line.
Output: My pride has stopped me from many things.
I may be stair witch, but I know a doorway vampire when I see one.
Output: I knew there was a reason he was loitering around. Just being all vampire-y. Not coming in.
Peter Pan is a gang leader and a thug. Screw him.
Output: Wow, when did this hatred of Peter Pan happen with you, Ray?
I'm bringing the grease so the line cooks can cook.
Output: If you bring the grease, I'll bring the pots.
The only constant is change, which is what it says on the moon juice poster.
Output: Even though that's a weird slogan for moon juice, it really makes a lot of sense.
Nooky, we missed you!
Output: Did we? Becky does not speak for the whole group.
We must get our daughter out of the house. I've been wanting to ravish you in the dining room for 35 years.
Output: I've been too ashamed with our daughter running around. I won't give it up until she's gone.
Richard seems to be doing pretty good with being a social butterface.
Output: Everything is fine, except for his face.
Stop touching her you foul alien-ghost.
Output: I'm not an alien-ghost. I'm a Blockbuster clerk.
Marge, I think you're getting very caught up in the post-WWII time period. You drove an Edsal to work today.
Output: And you're wearing that tweed skirt-suit.
How'd you get your handles so high and wide?
Output: I custom made this bike. There's no time to tell that story right now.
Oh yeah, I remember nothing happening. Like nothing negative, I mean.
Output: Yeah. I mean, a lot of my co-workers say I only choose the concerts where no shit is gonna happen. But I just, you know, I like the peaceful bands.
I will only be happy when I'm at the bottom of this river.
Output: Do you want us to get some stones? Or cement? You can use it to weigh you down. Then we can leave and live in peace.
In this world we live in today, sometimes we get caught up in our jobs and we forget to just give a God damn hello.
Output: Caught up in your jobs? We've been standing here waiting for coffee and you guys are talking about God knows what. I don't think you're caught up in your jobs.
Call me Santa. The costume should have tipped you off.
Output: Too be fair, your Santa costume has a name tag on it that says Sandra.
How are we going to pay our bills if you're not working? How are we going to put food on the table?
Output: Is it food on the table, or table under the food? Bet you never thought of it that way.
Oh, look at that. He flew away.
Output: Yeah, he has these wings. It's an invention. They actually fly. He thought he was gonna kind of retire on that, but no one wanted actual bird wings that they had to attach on to themselves. It's kind of an invasive surgery.
He also owns one record label. Hew owns Emoch. It's mostly hate jazz.
Output: Hate jazz? I love that stuff.
It is 1977, I missed the season finale of The Greatest American Hero to come here and do this job.
Output: I can tell you what happens. The aliens come back and give him the instructions for the suit.
Lady, I'm going to step on you and smash you like a scone!
Output: You know, we're all just baked goods here on this planet, waiting to be stepped on and eaten, so if you need to step on me to feel like you're a bigger pastry, then I'm going to say that's okay.
Wait a second, are all of you Satanists?
Output: Well, we don't like to put labels on it.
He can't read. So what, are you just taking dictation of the things he says?
Output: Yeah, and he says a lot of a gross stuff.
Is the Aid Man signing about to begin?
Output: Yes, let me go get the velvet ropes so we can put down where the line starts.
Wow!  You're a healthy 135 pounds.  That's quite fit!
Output: Thank you.  It's been a real struggle to lose the extra weight I gained when I was pregnant last year.
Yeah, it took them so long to get to fight exchange one. I don't have the patience to wait for four more.
Output: I did hear them mention a casserole while they were fighting, so at least there's that to look forward to.
I guess we should descend from our tower and go out there and try to help the people.
Output: I guess we should I heard that they have radioactive scorpions down there nowadays.
You're a very cute baby. You have good hair for a baby.
Output: Thank you. It's funny because it's like, uh, it's all crazy.
The shirt reminded her of a crash. It made her want to crash again.
Output: Well, it was a tie-dye shirt, it was bloody red. I mean, in hindsight, that was a terrible shirt.
Two Seacrests? One a foot taller than the other and one with a big scar down his face.
Output: It's a double manager situation.
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time anywhere, singing her "You say stalagmite, I say stalactite",  Vera Louise Gorman.
Output: I'm so glad to be here on America's Favorite X-Factor. This is just a little diddy that I made up.
There seems to be something stuck in there, but we haven't lit the fire in a year.
Output: It's probably soot.
I know us dentists have a lot planned for the dental convention this weekend, so I won't take up much of your time.
Output: Yeah, just let the coordinator when you plan on finishing up this speech, sweetie, because we've got Jon Levitz up next for entertainment.
Why do we have to talk like this on the outside, but when we come home, we speak like you?
Output: We got a good thing going here. We don't have to pay taxes or fight in wars. We don't have to worry about clothes because we wear the same stuff all the time.
Look at the tears of dust floating all around.
Output: The humans will clean them up and not think twice about it.
There might be some underlying tension because of our new arrangement.
Output: That's OK. There was underlying tension with Abba. This works.
Young lady, why do you feel like you cannot be yourself here in Orlando, the most welcoming place on earth?
Output: You all have a strong sense of self. I have no identity.
Cards on the table. I worry, because of my secret love for Meredith, that she's mixed up with a bad guy who is also Janice's husband perhaps. Or at the very least her baby daddy. So I want to expose this Jonathan.
Output: Doesn't that feel better? Thank you for being honest with me. I really appreciate that. Alright. That's the only way we can change.
Saltwater toughys are also mystics. We start prophesying and stuff.
Output: OK. So, saltwater toughys are the things you sell, but also what the employees are called. This place just keeps getting more and more weird.
We put a lot of time and effort and energy this gift. It's a picture collage of your children from when they were born all the way through now.
Output: OK, that sounds like a lot of effort, but not a lot of money spent.
You don't think doctors are real?
Output: No. They're ghosts of a former person. This was taught to me by my great grumpy gramp.
So, the Maytag shot Mary out of the rapid and she hit a boat on the shore. I'm sorry I asked. I didn't realize what a horrible tale was going to be spun.
Output: I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you. It's not a great story.
Danielle, he says we have overdue movies.
Output: Well, I'm not in charge of returning them, I'm just in charge of checking them out.
Hey, this isn't my ring. Michael Jackson, I need my ring back if I'm ever going to win back the love of my wife.
Output: Alright, but I should tell you that if I give you this ring back, we're all just going to return to being old puppets.
Thank you for knowing I meant scalpel even when I said scapula.
Output: I am a long time nurse. Just because we've never worked together doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing.
I made a hard shift into more Amish like living.
Output: Do Amish use typewriters or just paper and pen?
Charlie, you are taxing me today.
Output: What am I, the IRS? I don't know what you mean.
Show those young people the light that you have within. Open yourself to them.
Output: Diary, the last time you said that, I spent so much time in jail.
It's a good thing your name isn't refrigerator.
Output: You know what, I don't think women should make jokes.
Have you ever been bit at one of those snake churches?
Output: He's been bit by the spirit.
Sassy surgeons, should we start dressing more drab? Will that project us back up into the big world?
Output: Do we even want to go back there?
Just like, the thimbles that are supposed to protect your fingers from the needle.
Output: Yeah, mine's got holes.
Are coozies the things you put on your cups?
Output: Yes, you put the coozie on the cup. That's a real glass half full attitude. I like you.
Here you go, honey. I feel so reckless. I didn't even pay for this orange julius! It's a Christmas miracle!
Output: OK. Well, that's illegal. It's actually a crime.
She's very smart. You never heard of keeping things in your bra before, now did you?
Output: You are so sweet.
Do you have any interest in Kyle?
Output: He does look kind of nut balls, but I'm open. I'm open to whoever.
I was going to ask the chicken what it thought of me because my momma never told me what she thought of me. She always said "If you get a chicken to like you, that means you're something."?
Output: Oh man, I used to ask my mama what she thought of me all the time.
Oh, well, Alice is my favorite animated older thing.
Output: Oh, well, my favorite older thing was Josie and the Pussycats.
We'll re-hydrate this powdered medicine with tongue sweat and inject it into him. That ought to put him in in cryofreeze until we get this cocaine back to the 1980's.
Output: I'm kind of sorry I suggested it 'cause it's really grossing me out, the idea of it.
You're wearing a ball gown.
Output: I wanted to look beautiful for you.
I am over my head, and I'm looking for any kind of info or guidance on how this whole parenting thing works.
Output: Well the last time I talked to my dad was probably ten years ago.
You used to go into the airplane cockpit?
Output: Yea, pre 9-11, I was always in that cockpit.
I drink no water and I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day.
Output: Honey, you have pruned up something fierce. You've got to do something about that.
Is this your first time at a Phish concert?
Output: It is. But I'm not actually inside the concert yet.
If you jiggle the canvas, they do something crazy cool. Watch this.
Output: They's doing a little laugh in dance. This is unseemly and ungodly. Sven, I'm no longer your master. I'm out of here.
I've got a bus that's headed up to upstate New York.
Output: OK, here. Take all my money.
Oh, you're preaching to the choir. I've had many snacks inside of me over the years.
Output: Did you get them taken out or did you just let them grow in there?
She has family in Paris.
Output: Uncle Fritz. He lives at the top of the Eiffel Tower!
It's a pretty tough turnout here at the funeral.
Output: Well, Grandfather wasn't very well liked.
I was just doing a classic ventriloquist dummy with my eyes shifting back and forth.
Output: Just like on that Twilight Zone episode. That was one of my favorite episodes. I'll never forget the ending.
The fortune is not for me, it's for us to share, as both of us have ingested halves of the fortune cookie. I rest my case.
Output: OK. He wins. Can I say that? He wins. That was so good.
Why don't you go play with your frinds in the forest?
Output: Oh you mean Billy and Daisy? They died.
I think it matters if the sandwich feels hot. Egg salad sandwiches are supposed to be cold to room temperature.
Output: Yeah, and eggs are the beginning of life. It's important to treat them right.
Oh, not Elle fanning?
Output: Oh no, Elle shes not  a newscaster silly, shes an actress like me.
I'm not sure what's happening here. You asking me if I've ever been in love seems like it's in violation of the policy.
Output: Cleatus, I think you misunderstand what the purpose of my question is. You know, I'm very happily married to Mrs. Madison.
I feel like every time someone asks you about a crime, you tell them I didn't do the crime. I only burned down the hospital and I enjoy Miss Georgina's breads in the middle of the night.
Output: To cover our bases, any time a crime comes up, I say that you didn't do it.
I don't think I'm long for this world.
Output: Well your eyes are weird - they have no color. You look like the lead bassist from Limp Bizkit.
I didn't know shortbread came in loaves.
Output: Oh, yeah.  Well, you know, I figure I really get the whole shortbread experience.  Why not, Instead of making a bunch of little cookies or whatever the fuck, make, like a whole loaf size so you can cut it up like bread.  I don't know.  I guess I was confused with the recipe.
I have an R-BnB that I've rented.
Output: Maybelline, how dare you. You've betrayed the church, the gods, the temple, and the daddy-master. I cast you out, vile demon-woman.
Um, so, as you can see I type a uh, a lot of words per minute.
Output: I'm very impressed. I'd like you just to type the instructions you read on everything you find in my pantry. The print is too small for me.
Yeah, I guess I needed to go through a change. Break out of my domestic trap that I was in.
Output: It's almost as if you underwent a conversion not dissimilar to the zombies.
How would you compare Ghost Recon and Skyrim. It's impossible.
Output: I'll be honest, I don't care about either. I'm a Pokemon man myself.
Is there a train running tomorrow to Savannah, Georgia?
Output: Certainly, jack off. You're talking about the God damn Savannah train.
I don't answer it? I'm not your client.
Output: Nobody answer any questions. I'm the only one answering questions.
Yes, I shall not be sharing my stuffed cheese with this one over here.
Output: Well, you needn't worry about the Well Dropping Society having enough pizza to go around to feed its members because I will not be joining.
OK, I'm sorry. Am I in the right place?
Output: Yes, yes you are. Hi, how're you doing? My name is Catalina.
It's all about owning whatever you say, no matter how insanely wrong you might be. Doesn't that sound nice?
Output: Do you want my honest answer or do you want the answer you want to hear?
I'm not a dwarf.  I'm just short, okay?  Just a short guy.
Output: Yeah, but you also have a red cap on.  It looks like a dwarf's hat.
Well, I have a raging heroin addiction, so it might just be you who is sober.
Output: Good thing I'm straight edge like everyone from the country called Country.
I'm nervous about my family, Sharon.
Output: You're sweating.
Hey, can you guys keep it down, please? I'm trying to take a nap.
Output: Sorry, Omar. I didn't see you were in your boots.
Look, I'm pretty sure these guys are robots.
Output: Yeah, but they are pretty nice. I mean, they gave me this horse, he brought me this bucket.
Comic Burglar is slowly making a get away. Someone stop him.
Output: Why is he walking sideways like a crab?
You know, I always thought it was cruel that your wife said you gotta make a choice. It's either you set up a hospital suite in her home for a dog who's gonna die anyway, or I leave.
Output: It's was like, no offense honey but I love you and the dog the same.
Clearly, you're a raging alcoholic. Would you care for a cigarette?
Output: I don't see why not. I mean, it's the '60s so, sure.
This is slightly larger than a tick.
Output: Oh, yeah. Look at that. I didn't have have my glasses on or eyes open.
Oh, my eyes! The light is so bright out here.
Output: Have you ever seen that Ripley's Believe It or Not, where the woman  has the ability to pop her eyes out of her skull? Your eyes look like hers.
Would you like me to go out and come back in?
Output: That would be perfect. I have to practice being rude.
I could understand why you think that, but I was actually entirely silent.
Output: But you're a woman, and he's a man. So even if you didn't say anything, you were thinking it in your mind. He had no choice because you silently suggested it.
We've gotten so far away from real people with real stories on reality TV.
Output: Yeah, Toilet Island was the last real show. There are really toilets and there are really islands.
I took a big nap and when I woke up, there was this strange couple in the organ room.
Output: Please Doris, could you tie your robe? I beg of you.
I get terribly, terribly seasick. But I usually don't know 'til another month after I get off the boat.
Output: That's what it's like being a woman.
Please welcome Alfred Molena. Oh, here he comes dragging across the floor.
Output: I know you wanted to see the ham bone tonight, but it won't be happening. It's going to be done by my domestic partner.
I didn't know you were married, Mrs. Sapsworth.
Output: Of course I'm married. I'm a woman of 28.
No son of mine is going to slap meat and cheeses on bread. You want to be a sandwich slopper? What about law school?
Output: Law school? It's ridiculous. What a waste of time. What are you doing? Sitting there, trying to keep people out of jail or keep people from getting sued, or suing other people. What else is there to the law?
So, in order to get out of here, I have to get my jacket, but in order to get my jacket, I have to get out of here?
Output: Yeah, see how the system is basically rigged to keep you in place no matter what?
I'm trying to find an elf costume for my baby.
Output: Sir, are you aware that this is a Cracker Barrel?
I'll always love her, in my way.
Output: Just say it. Just say you think she's hot.
We've been looking for a place to put these unbaptized babies.
Output: They didn't do anything wrong, but they didn't get baptized in time. They didn't do much right.
Did they ever figure out what impression that chicken was doing??
Output: I think he was trying to do Carl Sandburg.
So, we should go out on stage asleep?
Output: OK. I like that. I just said don't fall asleep. If we're already asleep when we're out there, that works.
Sir, Captain, Sir. Might I just point out that perhaps what the Ensign saw was looking at the coordinates upside down. Just saying.
Output: I bet that was it. Thank you, Mr. Sulu.
If you feel like you want to get it all out, feel free to do a song yourself.
Output: OK. This is my block. This is my blue block. This is my yellow block. This is mommy's shower and I should probably leave.
Papa, won't someone see the antennas from our home?
Output: No, we made them look like wood.
I'll be anywhere I please. My friend and I have been waiting now forty eight minutes for her Saturn. We're ready to go.
Output: Couple more minutes. There's a whole team of people that are working on the other side of the car which you can't see right now.
You're never going to be able to sell that.
Output: You never believed in me.  You know what?  This is the last straw, Bobby.  I'm done with you.  I deserve better.  If you two like each other so much, you could keep each other.  I'm going to be rich!  Do you hear me?  Rich!  Not only from my bean bag chair full of nacho chips, but also trademarking the silhouette from my very beautiful and very unique hairdo.  Goodbye forever, Bobby.  You're a loser, and you always will be!  Samantha, it was nice to see you.
Your spray tan is perfect. I want everyone to know that you're my child.
Output: I'm bright orange. I wanted to look good. I wanted to look fancy, but I overdid it.
I guess I was hoping the shoe would turn out to be magical or something. I mean, the yo-yo was.
Output: There has been a lot of unexpected magic today at this Home Depot.
You're going to see her aren't you? I know about here. I keep this place clean. I cook. I have sex with you on a regular basis, and this is the thanks I get.
Output: Yeah, well, she does too. All those things. She keeps my other place clean. She cooks. She has sex with me in my other place. I must go. It's my manly duty to please all women.
Oh, man.  I'm getting so grown up.  I learned how to braid my pubes in school the other day.
Output: I didn't know they did it that early.  That's important.  You've got to braid those pubes and you've got to put on golf cleats when you come home from work.
By some miracle, I ran. As a baby in the snow. Luckily it wasn't a lot of snow.
Output: It's very Forrest Gump of you.
That's part of the prophecy. One will be the common thread. One will be beautiful and fall in love after a sneeze. And one will be the common thread. And then it said one will be fart-y and one will be smart-y.
Output: I'm the fart-y one. I've literally been letting out one continuous fart this entire time. I apologize.
Why don't you come out of the shadows?  We want to hang out with you!
Output: I understand you guys are here to do some spelunking, and when I was a surface man, I enjoyed the company of others.  I thought, perhaps, I might show you around down here in the shadowy subways.
This painting over here in the north west corner. The crow with the beady eyes that seem to follow you. Something about it reminds me of something.
Output: The look on his face. It reminds me of that look that comes over Dean's face when he's done something terrible.
Let's focus on the problem. It's too easy to get off topic.
Output: I'm just saying, maybe one of the reasons why we're not up in the sky and we're in the ocean is because Cookie took some drugs.
He had to put down his beer to wave you over. That's a big commitment for someone with only one arm.
Output: And it's your birthday, too. You shouldn't have to do that.
So you're only part devil?
Output: Yeah. See how I'm a snake, but I also have horns?
Here on Mars Base 3 we're up to 60 people.
Output: I gotta say I was not aware that there were more than the four of us. This is in fact news to me.
Look at my husband flirting with the secretary. He's just a flirt. He's flirting with everybody.
Output: It's the doctor on the phone. It ain't no damn secretary, woman!
I would put a layer of garlic bread on the bottom.
Output: Oh, it'll suck up all the juices and be delicious at the end of the meal. They'll be so exciting.
Oh, shoot. Is this Saturday? I'm here for the mom's meeting.
Output: We operate alphabetically, and the meeting for The Nets basketball team is today. So that would have been a couple of days ago.
Oh, I lost my place.
Output: Yes, dad, because you really didn't take my note at all.
This place is, uh, spooky. We have to spend the night in it to get the inheritance? I don't know, this is terrifying.
Output: I'm freaking out, but I need this money so bad.
Hi Gross Tic Tac. You somehow got loose from the box and now you're covered with fuzz and stuff.
Output: I lost all my friends. I've been down here in the seam.
I am too. So I'll just put that on the schedule. After lunch, you and I will make love.
Output: You know, it's just part of being a housewife. Decorating and putting out. Sure, you might have these newfangled people that think they can be independent, but no.
Well, that let's me out, I guess. I can't believe I stood in this line for so long.
Output: Every week, Gladys. You do this every week.
I laughed at John Wayne's funeral in the face of God. I'm pretty sure this curse is a curse of God on me.
Output: Craig, why would he curse all of us though? That seems unfair.
What song is that you're singing? Liberian girl?
Output: Yes. See, he knew what it was. I'm a natural at this ventriloquism.
I like to have some privacy every once in awhile, you know.
Output: I understand that. Everyone needs a room of ones own.
Did you hear that Mr. Stanfield?
Output: Listen with your heart. Take those Airpods out of your ears.
Well, why would you promise not to say horse? We're at a stable. You can say horse.
Output: I make promises when I start jobs, that's how I am.
What's the hold up? This session was supposed to start an hour ago.
Output: I hired a sitter. I have a hard out.
The Streets are down to just a guitarist and some vocals.
Output: That's right. They kind of just busk now.
I'm so scared. It's just so weird to be back out in the world after being trapped for a year.
Output: Yeah, something feels a little bit weird about this because I just met and I'm already helping you, but I heard so much about you so I'm sure it's fine.
Are you on the keto diet?
Output: I know what it is, but I don't believe in it.
Did you throw dog food at this man's head?
Output: Maybe, but if I did, it was provoked.
Don't worry, kid. I'm not a minator.
Output: Thank God. You're just a creepy dude down in the storm drain.
I'm Jermaine. Look at my ear.
Output: Jermaine doesn't normally say that, he's always talking about his eyes.
I guess we could have been selling rocking horses to sex people all the time and we didn't know. They didn't declare it like this lady did.
Output: That is true. We might have already crossed over to the dark side and didn't even know it.
We have a 'just divorced' button that we will very happily throw in on top of the coozie.
Output: It's true. It won't hold up your pants, but it is a button that you can adorn your clothing with.
Now that I think about it, my life doesn't sound good.
Output: No. Hey, why don't you take a swig of that maple-cocaine syrup? It'll make you feel better.
There's going to be times when you're tested on your job. I'm not going to lie to you.
Output: But, they're not allowed to touch us right?
Hold on a second. You really believe jail doesn't exist?
Output: We don't have a jail in this town, so if we've never seen one, it's not real.
Do you have to stand right in somebody's face when you talk to them? That's my son.
Output: Yeah, you have really weird breath. I can't totally place it.
When you look in this mirror, you can see the devil's face.
Output: Yes, I can kind of see it over your shoulder.
Yes. That's also my middle name. Crystal. Carl Crystal Slider.
Output: One day, after I'm gone, this bike shop's going to be called CC Sliders' Bike Shop instead of DM Sliders' Bike Shop.
Yes, we said all sorts of things, didn't we. Didn't you say would run through snow in the Olympics?
Output: Oh, yeah, but I was always intending to escape.
Have you guys started the coffee contest?
Output: I did. I drank so much coffee, I can hear my heart.
That story was about we lost our arms, not about our mother's illness, so it didn't fit too prominently in that story. Doesn't mean there aren't stories. We got a lot of stories about mama.
Output: We do, there's the story of the time she ran out of gas and pushed the car up a hill.
I can't believe that Claire's thing was bigger than my secret about a child that didn't know he was my son. I'm so glad that it worked out so well, darling.
Output: I hope that now this means we can limp together, side by side.
Rita, that's so forward. I'll have sex with you if you want. Were you looking at me, or?
Output: I said someone, I didn't mean you. We're gonna be here awhile. I'm just saying I'm ready to put out for the cause.
It's too late. Just shut me in the freezer with the cocaine fish.
Output: Stop right there, it's me Rookie. I've become part of the artificial intelligence. I've de-latched the hinges. You're free.
What does your wife take pills for?
Output: She  takes them for anxiety and then to get re-anxious. She thinks there's a plane at the end of that jet way. They lock those doors, right?
Just so you know, I might pass out a lot from fear.  I'm like one of those fainting goats.  There's no fight or flight.  I just fall down.
Output: I've been doing Crossfit, and I think you're about the weight of a tire.  So, I think I could catch you when you fall.
Your pupils look very dilated with fear.
Output: They're dilated, but it's from cocaine and maple syrup, not fear.
You know how I feel about Lavar. I love him. I'm very proud of you.
Output: Thank you mom. I would never watch anything else. The only thing I watch is Lavar Burton.
OK. Let me try it. Get a load of my bite and chew. I bite and then...aww, it all spilled out of my mouth.
Output: We just saw your chew and spit. That's disgusting. You better work on the bite and chew some more.
I noticed you keep backing out of the room, but holding eye contact with me.
Output: That's right, because we like to look at you, baby morgue man.
You know what?  I'm going to give you enough rope.  I think you should audition for the school play.
Output: Really?  No one ever seems to have any confidence in me.
You think you might find an ancient civilization that nobody ever heard before, right here in Fallsburg?
Output: Right here in the bike shop. No one ever goes into the basement.
I just saw a guy stab another guy in the face.
Output: You were able to look at that? I would have ran.
Those are the cutest little mice I've ever seen. I bet they're married.
Output: Ones wearing a suit and one's wearing a little wedding dress.
I'm not really a cop. I chose to be small because when I was big, everyone called me retching Gretchen. I have several food sensitivities and I threw up a lot.
Output: They thought by making you smaller, you would throw up less?
Bobby, do you want to get in the dumpster with me?
Output: Sure.  I'm curious as to what it feels like.
You know, 30 years, ladies and gentleman, we've never had a teleprompter mishap until today. I don't know what a freak fart is, but I'd like to know.
Output: Well, I do, but that's a whole 'nother segment, Catalina.
Sparkling or Tap?
Output: I'll have the sparkling, it's quite the occasion for me.
I tried to clear my mind and all I can think of is work. It's been too long. Maybe I should just leave and go back to the tenth circle of hell no one talks about.
Output: You still got it, Golgatha. It's in there and it's buried deep. But, you've got it and I believe in you. I just want to say that I think you're a natural and you've got this.
I can hear from distances and I heard you called me elderly. I did not stand in line during the civil rights movement to be referred to as old.
Output: I'm do apologize Ma'am. We are just trying to identify people as quickly and efficiently as possible.
I'm sorry. You think I had control over that coma?
Output: Your mother did not intend to be in that eight day coma. It was written up that way.
Guys, I'm just looking at the clock. We've gotta start this play because they're all watching now.
Output: Oh my god. David's right. I just looked out the curtain. There's a full house out there.
Are you looking for a third wife? I guess the tulips are having an affect on me.
Output: Well, we can go out and talk about it some more. I might be interested.
When you say "four dumb idiots" I'm glad you are including our pet tapeworm Rubber Band, because he is part of this family and you're not.
Output: Oh, big deal for me. Me and your daughter who you abandoned in Italy can form a posse of people who don't need you.
How would I know you're under an umbrella? I can't see. That's very rude. Also, it's bad luck.
Output: You're being very ableist right now.
I wish I wouldn't have given my glasses to Tonya.
Output: Is that why you're here? This seems like a clerical error.
Hey, look. The whole audience watched that exchange with my father. It's become part of the play and there's not a dry eye in the house.
Output: They must think that this is part of the dialogue of the play.
Buddy, don't get charged. Why you so mad?
Output: I'm just upset. I'm trying a second career. I used to be a doctor on Krypton. I got into some questionable practices.
They stopped doing the Olympics altogether because I ran away?
Output: You ruined it. People were so sad.
Clappy, I have a weird feeling that those two - that Rita and Derrick have tried to keep us out.
Output: I feel that way too. But I'm used to that in my life.
You guys, this is the happiest day of my life. I just got a job. I'm so thrilled, and I know this has been a hard time, but thank you for sticking with me. And Mark, I love you so much. I think it's time we have kids.
Output: Sandy, hold on a second. I've got something to tell you. I'm leaving you. It's going to be great.
That reminds me, we've got to get this pigeon out of here.
Output: Oh, ho!  She's going to be P to the O'ed if we don't do that.
I know that the concert is delayed, but why are we in a line?
Output: Is this the line for the delay?
Daniel, your family loves you. Don't be nervous.
Output: You say that, but I can tell by the look in their eyes. They're visibly cursing at me with their eyes. It's something I don't know if you're picking up on, Sharon, and I'm nervous.
We're not keeping the place very cold, though.?
Output: No, 'cause we still haven't figured out Fahrenheit or Celsius.
I have my sweater cape on. I'm almost ready to go to the giants reunion. I don't want to go, Colonial. I don't want to go.
Output: It will be fine Patricia. You gotta just dart your eyes around a lot and make sure you're out of the way of any butts.
Don't think of me as a big boss. Just think of me as a little old man who pays your checks.
Output: Thank you, Mr. Madison, for stating that fact.
You've made me realize that my whole life has been nothing but a lie!
Output: Yes, but at least you have love.  Love conquers all.
But did they write songs for Tina Turner?
Output: Maybe. It was the mid nineties. Everybody was writing songs for Tina Turner back then.
It's not hard, Delores. Just call the person's name and they'll come inside. I don't know why you make more of your job than it has to be.
Output: I have to feel like I'm important. I'll be right back.
That's right. Kelly Sue was performing here when she was a child.
Output: Yeah, I was a child performer. That's what I was getting at.
Isn't it great to just go to sleep into a made bed?
Output: It is nice have a made bed when you're going to sleep. I'd like if my mom still made my bed.
It would relieve the monotony for us if we all go up to the surface and you can do some improv.
Output: Yeah, Marge knows that brunch open mic Momedy show at Clifton's Cafeteria.
I have been waiting here looking at these two teenagers making out, kissing on the lips outside, leaning on the window.
Output: I wish that I had someone to make out with.
Life is just a constant motion. You can't hold onto anything.
Output: This boy is like Shakespeare. The poetry that drops from his mouth is so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?
Ow, you're hurting me.
Output: I was a professional wrestler, so sorry.
It sounds like you two are really having a rough time.
Output: You're so understanding and you're right. We are having a terrible time.
Well, it was a tie-dye shirt, it was bloody red. I mean, in hindsight, that was a terrible shirt.
Output: Why would you wear a striped, tie-dye shirt? Especially on TV?
I used to do a Mom's comedy night on Sunday nights. It was a cafe during the day. So, we'd have brunch there and then you'd end up on stage that night living your dreams out
Output: She had this  227 bit. It was hilarious. She could do all the different voices of the characters.
Well, look at this. A bunch of boys to buy. Wow!
Output: Hey lady. Keep your hands off the merchandise unless you purchase it.
We're very small children. Mom and Mr. Piccadilly should be able to lie to us more easily and so I'm wondering how they've even gotten through life.
Output: Yeah, should we confront them and see if we can get the truth?
You know, I gotta be honest with you. For a while, you were my idol. But I just gotta go work at the factory, at the plant on Factory Street.
Output: He doesn't believe in himself. He could have been a real weatherman, right here in town, but he sold himself out. He just went to the plant because his dad did.
She's putting on a lot of lotion and powder.
Output: It looks like it's creating some kind of paste on your body.
Ken is still here waiting to murder somebody.
Output: I know. Ken, no one wants you to murder anyone. You're a time criminal.
I've been standing over here in a towel waiting for my weigh-in.  I'm feeling pretty naked right about now.
Output: Yeah, that's how you do it, Brad.  That's how you do a weigh-in.  You come in, you're ready to drop the towel, get that weigh-in, and go on your merry way.
Hold on, I was sitting on the knife the whole time. I was on the chair the whole time. It almost fell through the cracks.
Output: Your ass is Teflon. I love that about you.
It's important that the two of you are blindfolded when we do the roll off, so there's no visual influence on the dice.
Output: I'll put on my mom's U2 shirt.
This is the line for the circular saw. Hope you brought a book.
Output: Well, I didn't bring a book. I wish I had. I could have used the pages to take care of something outside.
What can we do to make our lack of attention up to you? How about some free coffee?
Output: OK. I would love some coffee. I think my friend needs a nap and maybe a bottle of water. Right now, a tear is coming out of her eye, but it's mostly bile.
I knew it your a chef too!
Output: Yeah I mean I'm wearing chefs whites and a chefs hat.
This is a time where I could have implied a little violence towards a child and this really would have worked out in our favor.
Output: I know, but it gets complicated with paperwork.
Mom, I put my bathing suit on wrong.
Output: Oh let me take if off for you and switch it around.
You know, the residual checks are coming in like crazy.  I never thought putting you guys on tour together would be a great idea, but I was wrong.  Chock me up one wrong for my category.?
Output: And what a way to wind down this Cat Woman tour on a super yacht!
What happened to that one fellow that ran the pirate ship?
Output: Remember, he got killed during rehearsal. God rest his soul.
I just wanted to have a nice, peaceful reunion with everyone on The Net. As you know, it's a normal thing to do, to reunite a cast of a movie.
Output: We have reunions every year.
You know what I'm gonna do? I am going to keep this copy of my Weekend at Bernie's.
Output: I love that movie, man.
We open tomorrow night, in Detroit. I rented a theater.
Output: Wow, that's what you were doing on your phone.
Albert, you brought a dog.
Output: The dog is sniffing at these two new students suspiciously.
Wait, so let me get our deal straight. I scare these people to death and you buy me a 12 pack of condoms?
Output: I'll even make it a 24 pack, how's that sound?
I don't remember what you said. You've got me all turned around.
Output: You've been writing everything down. I can't believe you can't remember.
There was a sweet, nice couple who were here on their honeymoons. they kept going around all the area, all the different parks. When they came back I set their hair on fire.
Output: We killed them. Ever since she set their hair on fire and refused to put them out, they burned to their own melty deaths.
I waited in line this long and this is how the concert is going down?
Output: If you don't like this music, it's because you're not listening right. Listen to the notes between the notes.
You don't look like you live here right now though.  What are you, back to your old haunts or something?
Output: Yeah, that's right. I moved to Arkansas years ago.
The Falconer football team's mascot is just a guy dressed as a falconer who is always looking up into the sky as if he's watching his falcon flying.
Output: Oh, and he has one of those really thick gloves on.
Welcome to Millionaire's mansion.
Output: Oh yes, where is the kitchen? We are the kitchen help and also the entertainment.
He's our big man, that's right. He has a thyroid disease.
Output: I have a thyroid condition. That's why my hair grows so long.
You know, there's trouble in the hills. I hope the American part of our family sends someone over soon so we can resolve the trouble in the hills.
Output: I hope so too. I'm so hungry. All these troubles are making us hungry.
I have some of this chartreuse nail polish on one of my arms. Can we leave it there?
Output: Oh yeah. It will be a reminder of this day.
The echo man warned us that the house is evil and that we should be careful. But, he didn't really outline what we should be on the look out for.
Output: Yeah, should we just be careful with what we say? Should we wear some heavy shoes to not stub  a toe?
You should open your own therapy sessions.
Output: I guess I could. As long as I don't say I'm licensed it should be OK.
You thought James Patterson, the famous author - the guy whose books you read - you haven't looked at the back of the book, honey? You thought he was me?
Output: I told you this before, I finished the book, why would I go to the back? It said The End.
You're saying that I could probably be living my life better?
Output: Just a little bit. Don't change, but just change a little bit.
Mr. President, how did you run the free world for eight years and you can't tell that we're two different people?
Output: Well, to be fair, we look exactly alike.
I'm a little puppet man.
Output: Oh, I thought you were going to say "Hide-y ho."
I sought medical treatment for my illness
Output: That's nice, but you shouldn't have. You should have depended on the lord. God will provide. That's all you need.
Excuse me.  Hello.  Maestro?  Are we ready for the rehearsal?  I can't wait to tread on those boards.
Output: Now listen, you son of a bitch, I know you're going to be playing this part.  You better study it like a mother fucker.
OK. That was pretty specific. She still said nothing about your woman hips and didn't say your name was Bruce.
Output: She did say Spruce. You know Bruce rhymes with spruce.
Listen, I came right out and said I was building a piano.
Output: Well you know we're building a tiny house. Everybody does.
I'm from one of those snake handler churches. They don't let us have cookies there.
Output: Enjoy some of the strychnine we put out. There's a whole jar of it.
I could get some of the money? Hey, what do you have in mind, Charlie?
Output: I'll cut you in for some of this money if you just, I don't know, scare these guys to death.
Sir, let me interrupt you for one second there. How can we help you here at the Cracker Barrel? We don't really get werewolves in here.
Output: I already told you. I want an elf costume for my baby.
I like your coat. But your face, it's terrifying.
Output: That's right. I'm from hell.
Really, Tom? You had to put "puke" in her middle name. And I wanted to name her middle name Thomas.
Output: So it's Pukemas. People think it's a holiday.
When he wears a buttoned shirt, right around the chest area, it puckers open.
Output: Right. So, he can get it buttoned, but you can see the skin between the buttons.