niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
I know, I just. You never called and I didn't want to assume.
Output: You didn't have to assume anything. I said. I kissed you with my mouth. I knew what I was doing.
How're you doing, Mrs. Sinclair?
Output: Well, I'm fine ever since you broke my daughter's heart and sent her down a trajectory of, well, you're looking at it.
Ranch's father called him kid before he disappeared in a storm drain.
Output: His father disappeared into a storm drain? That's the craziest thing I'v ever heard and I've seen some crazy things.
Improving. We're improving this neighborhood. They'll be places for you to live.
Output: Just stay on your side of the track. That's right. One day we're gonna have a house with a wall. Just you wait and see.
Arthur, the council has spoken, and you've been flushed.
Output: Look, I didn't come here to make friends. I came here to win. I didn't win, and here's why: I'm better than everybody else, and they're all stupid people.
You're really staring deeply into my eyes right now, and I don't really know what to make of that.
Output: Well, we're a very honest store with honest working people here, and we operate on that honesty first policy.
Hey, our boss was just here. Where did she go?
Output: The fries are going to start burning again.
We should figure out what it is we want from my boss when we see him. Dorothy, what do you want?
Output: I want a nice dog that doesn't follow me when I pee.
He's telling stories over there. That's not even part of the miniature golf experience.
Output: For free. And it's stories about the golf. It's stories about each hole.
You just take one shoe off and then you put it on. Then you sing a song about it.
Output: A song? Fred, where do you get these funny ideas?
Daniel, I want a bottle of that barbecue sauce.
Output: Well, let me get a spatula and my right arm. I'll get one filled up for you.
OK, it's the big day guys. Yorgy, how is the juggling coming along with Rubber Band?
Output: He's a quick learner, papa.
There's not an abundance of liquid here in Death Valley.
Output: It's hard to be an alcoholic here.
We live in a place that's so interesting and strange that a raccoon stole my bicycle. I think that's proof positive, right now, that we live in a very special place that might have a diamond mine.
Output: Yeah, and how would you explain a raccoon just getting up and riding a bike? Maybe Samantha and I should run away together and try to find the diamond mine.
Yes. Welcome to DM Sliders. We're a family owned bike shop.
Output: OK, never mind. I'm just going to go. I'm having problems with my family, so when I hear the word "family" it kind of makes me not want to spend my money here.
Welcome to our racially integrated Chinese restaurant. Would you like a hamburger chop suey?
Output: Uh, sure. Do you have something in a noodle to go with it?
God, it is filled with blood. And somehow it's overflowing.
Output: And, I gotta say this again, I'm just a social media manager, but you pick up a lot about the fish stuff when you're, you know, managing these accounts. Some of this is manatee blood. Most of it, and this is gonna sound crazy but I promise you this is true. It's sea horse blood.
Circuit City is almost out of business? Really? No one told me this. I just bought stock.
Output: This is the last one. We applied and got jobs here.
Murnice, I'm ruining your  grief with my sexcapades. You must have known Wrinkle Pants, as well.
Output: He was an opening act for Streets. So, people got to laugh and then dance all in one night of entertainment.
They certainly tried to. I could feel their greedy eyes all over me and my bag of money.
Output: Oh, yeah. They look like a rough bunch.  Here, give them some cookies.
I've already apologized vehemently about mispronouncing Heimlich.
Output: A man died because you mispronounced the word. And yet other words you pronounce far too correctly. You see now why I cannot let you live?
Do what I asked you to do.  Change my flavor profile.
Output: Okay, first of all, you're human.  Second of all, you want to add a waddle.
There's another mysterious ingredient I cannot place.
Output: Some people call it Dorito Dust!
That guy is probably going to fix the broken tv later.
Output: Maybe.  Or, maybe he'll make it into one of them fishtanks with the deadly eels.  I heard it's complicated because you've got to de electrify them or people die doing that.
You have a writer's tongue.
Output: And you have a lover's tongue.
That is refreshing. I feel much better now and am ready to go out on camera.
Output: See, now you look like a mime, just like me under the mask.
I should probably get back home. You're saying this sex person cleared us out of all our rocking horse stock?
Output: Yeah, I just feel like we needed to conclude that part of the story.
You ran full basketball plays on a plane?
Output: Of course we did. It's a huge plane.
Look, I don't mean to seem crazy, okay? But shit comes alive in here at night. Who's to say at some point you weren't a crack rock in an envelope or a box that somebody mailed to somebody and you somehow got stuck as anthropomorphic crack rock.
Output: I'd be lying if I said that hadn't crossed my mind at some point too. That you were a crack rock.
I hear that. There's some days where I can't even get out of bed in the morning and the thought of drinking my morning coffee makes me just want to rip and arm off, you know?
Output: Maybe we should run you through the machine as well. That seems like potential depression, which we can see on an x-ray scan.
Sweetie, I know you're still a baby, and you might not be able to understand these concepts that we're trying to explain to you.
Output: Of course he doesn't.  He's just a dumb baby.  Listen to him making those noises.  He honestly thinks he's talking right now.  That's terrible.
This man is your half brother. You're in love with your half brother.
Output: Wow, that got worse than I thought it would get. Incestuous murder cannibalism.
Well, this child is now inflicted with a new disorder. It's traumatic soap opera amnesia. There's no cure.
Output: This is so much worse than if he had no relationship with his father.
Sir, uh, my name is Tim. I'm with the park.
Output: I can see your name tag.
I've already gotten started, hope that's OK.
Output: Yes, uh, you didn't need to. The robe should be closed until I say it's time to disrobe, but. That's OK.
Have you seen this gentlemen? Do you have any idea of his most recent whereabouts?
Output: Pat? Last I heard he was running a jamon iberico shop in Madrid.
Who the fuck are you? You've never spoken.
Output: This is Steve. He's Steve Dons.
Shots on me, shots all around.
Output: Thank you, Mr. Buffett. You're so generous.
Everyone loves the pirate ship. It gives them that funny feeling in their stomach.
Output: Yeah, but they're basically just experiencing motion sickness. We need more.
Excuse me I just got this note from the citezens they are mad that you  guys have been hidden up in that tower forever.
Output: Oh they wrote it down did they, yeah look at that there it is in writing they are mad I guess that we should go apologize.
Can I say something?  You know, I raised these concerns months ago when Mr. Mitierry himself kept talking about putting fluids that belong in automobiles into foodstuffs and everyone said I was crazy.
Output: Well, fortunately, some saner heads prevailed.  It's coincidental, madam, that your theory worked out, but, you know, let's let the board run the company, all right?  It's not up to one, uh, hard-headed democracy-breaker.
Dad, she's paying for a bike it diamonds? I mean, first of all, can we make change and, secondly, if we can't we're rich.
Output: I don't need change. I have my dad's love, and I found it in this bike shop. I don't really care as long as I have a bike.
Someone give her the Heimlich.
Output: I don't know what that is. It sounds like ghost-doctor foolishness.
Could you go into the netherworld and find me Ian Curtis and Jim Neighbors? And by the way, there's a chance they might be together, I suppose.
Output: Look, I know those guys well from the Playboy Mansion. So I suppose I could.
What's the lady's function here?
Output: Every time you talk about me, I hear you.
Do you want to take a cab to my place now? I'm sorry I didn't laugh at that last joke.
Output: Yeah, sure. Your place is so close to my place.
You like concerts in general, but mainly Phish concerts, right?
Output: I mean, Phish has like, become a lifestyle for me. But I do go to a lot of other concerts. Sometimes I wonder if Phish knew I was going to a bunch of other concerts, and not exclusively Phish concerts, would they get jealous?
You have other books other than self help books here at Barnes and Noble, right?
Output: Yeah, but when people come in they always seem to want those, so that's what I assumed with you.
Mostly I've been engaging in impromptu businesses.
Output: OK. What are you doing right now?
Sorry, I just had an emergency at work.
Output: Well, that sucked. You walked out and left and your wife hasn't come down yet. We've been standing on the front porch the whole time.
I'm going to die it's so hot up here.
Output: Jasper go get your Grandfather a cold wash cloth He's hot up there.
Are you a fast reader, Iris?
Output: I'm super fast. It's one of my super human skills.
I believe you, dad. This is what mom would want.
Output: We're your only five children.
Ranch, I feel like this soul quest is really about you. Now that you've given me your seed, maybe my purpose here is done.
Output: I wish I could. This place is like a rat's nest.
What if I didn't press the button?
Output: Well you pressed it, you said you pressed it. What is it, a switch?
Honey, can I just ask you, and I don't want to distract you - I am naked and freezing, can I use your shirt to dry off? I don't have a towel.
Output: Oh, yeah. I mean, it just a button up singlet, but go ahead.
Alright guys, time's almost up. I've gotten the red light.
Output: Time is not even real. It's a flat circle or whatever.
A lot of information comes acorss my desk at the back and I know about your new idea, the rutabaga farm.
Output: I tell you what, Anus. I will give you 10% of our earnings in exchange for a savage beating.
I knew your mom, Sally. We were classmates and I knew you when you were a little girl.
Output: I'm sorry to say that she passed away, just months ago. She held on for years.
Do you hear? The song is giving you your new name.
Output: I heard it. We both heard it. It's Teetle-D.
You shouldn't leave egg salad in your car.
Output: Well I thought this was going to be bing, bang, boom. Not dangerous to leave it there for ten minutes.
I'm thinking about starting some sort of divorce business. While I don't have a law degree or any capability or really any knowledge of how marriage works, I do feel that people have the right to be divorced.
Output: In America, you can be whatever you want. Dream big!
My wife is very psychic.
Output: It is true, yeah. In fact, all the women in my family, we have, um, abilities.
Oh, man!  My back is killing me from that cross country drive.  Hey, is this a food stand?
Output: That's right.  It's concession.  Do you need concession?
You're in the King's entourage?
Output: You're his girlfriend and you didn't know?
But you can tell who's who because they're missing the opposite arm. So you gotta just know that, each one missing the opposite arm.
Output: You're smart. You can't get nothing past Pete.
Are you sure you don't want one. The blue kid looks good.
Output: I don't think that's an option anymore. It looks like the blue one kicked the bucket, look.
Don't climb too fast.
Output: I'm getting light headed.
I hate Paul's intros. He's the worst at intros.
Output: It's his favorite part, unfortunately. He makes a deal of it.
My name is Dark Crystal. It's time for you to take your fifteen minute break.
Output: Dark Crystal, I can't believe you woke up.
When did everybody start taking their clothes off around here?
Output: Well, ever since the first lady of the town decreed it, Mr. Mayor. You should know.
After going to Whole Foods 365 and striking out, I thought Coachella would be a sure thing.
Output: I know, 365 was just full of hot moms. What were we thinking about going there for love?
Dr. Phil, we were able to pull you from your automobile in the Eudora Lake. Thank God that the snacks were in there. The air was trapped into the snack packets and gave you enough oxygen until emergency vehicles got there.
Output: If you hadn't breathed into those bags of cookies, you may have died.
I wanted to give you some of this drink I made you. It's a milkshake, your favorite.
Output: Is it vanilla? Please be vanilla.
I have to tell my son something before he goes away. How do you tell your son?
Output: I sit him down because I'm usually sitting down and I like to look him in the eye. I tell him what I need to tell him and then I give him a riding mower.
You're a loud mouth and I'm going to put you in the section of the extras that stand outside the park.
Output: Oh, no! My Mom's on that ride! It's falling!
Mitch, what happened to you? You're not talking like yourself.
Output: Look, I'm not feeling like myself. Feeling all sweaty and dehydrated. I think it was the olive oil I drank. Mixed with the saltwater.
For a moment, I thought you said shark deafness.
Output: Oh, I can hear sharks constantly. There's one just off the starboard bow, right now.
One of your friends was just one of those trays that hold silverware.
Output: Yeah. And I was just, like, the house crack rock.
You're in love with him. You gotta go to him. He made it clear he's never coming back here.
Output: I don't know where he is. He's a wandering man. You think I gotta go follow in the shadow-y mysterious footsteps of Trumpet Davis?
Everything. I'm hungry. I need shelter. I need you to love me. Such a needy child she was. But then everything changed when you had a miracle baby, miracle Yorgy.
Output: Yorgy could walk so early. He does his own laundry.
Yes, please, give my friend Charles a carton of cigarettes.
Output: And uh, what about me, James Colburn?
Oh my god classic bulge stuff, where did you get it?
Output: I've been collecting since Bulgeman first came out, look, I have a first edition pants stuffer right here!
It's almost like one of them, uh, putting greens a guy has in his office.?
Output: It's pretty much lying on the ground, right now.
You know Cedric? Who are the degrees of separation?
Output: Well, let's see. I'm the first. Then, there's Dame Judy Dench.
So, then I might expect a bunch of eyeball juice to come out.
Output: It'll all squirt out on you, and then you'll have to round up your party of rangers, maybe an elf or the demon queen of elves.
I can't wait to meet Troy's family at the wedding.
Output: You're going to love them. You know, they own a gel plant over in Ohio.
Yeah, if I'm big again, nobody wants me as a nurse.
Output: What happened when you were big that no one wanted you to be a nurse?
Well, let me just rip off one of these plastic tubes we use to shove the mail up the vacuum system and we got our own little crack pipe.
Output: This is a thick crack pipe.
I'm glad you came into my office today, young man. Look around you. Everything that's in here, I purchased.
Output: Wow! You own everything in this office?
I sort of recall that name Old Whale Lake. Is that where we are now?
Output: Yeah, I chose a boating whale tour on a lake because I was informed that it was the safe choice.
I'm a nurse. That doctor over there has no one to help him.
Output: We have a nurse. He doesn't. He's alone. He's a sad man by himself in the street.
Rodney, how close of a cousin are you to Rosie O'Donnell?
Output: Um, what it's like when your cousin married her cousin but then there was a divorce? Distant cousins, then, probably is a good enough answer.
I feel like I hear something new in it every time.
Output: I agree! Like this time I realized that the kid was blue because his o2 sauration was low! I never realized that before.
Riverboat gambling games are happening right now.
Output: Now, Miss Sapsworth, before you put your money down, just remember that you should, you know, keep things in an order. You shouldn't just put your cards all out on the table.
Mr. Madison, it's not like you to come to the garden after a performance.
Output: Wasn't Adele wonderful? What I was awake for was wonderful. You know, I can't stay awake as long as I used to.
Linda, how long has it been since I've laid eyes upon you?
Output: Your real eyes or your ghost eyes? Because they're still on me.
My wondrous machine is, of course, connected to the world wide web. That's how come I know, from space, New Zealand looks like a couple of elegant strips of bacon just lying next to each other on a plate.
Output: Not like that cumbersome circle of Australia, father.
I thought you were going to get that trap door put in your skull?
Output: I had to either get the dogs neutered or a trap door put in. We already have 30 dogs. I'm overwhelmed with dogs.
Originally, it was like, a solidarity thing. You were like "If you're going to be in a wheelchair, I'm going to be in one." That was, I think maybe, interpreted as the wrong message.
Output: I know. I thought I was putting her on equal ground. Everyone treats someone in a wheelchair like you gotta treat them differently. It was like "hey, it's fine."
Tracy, what are you doing after graduation, after we leave here?
Output: I mean, I'm definitely going to go to South Beach, I guess. That's where the work is.
I guess post 9-11, I just do what I'm told at an airport.
Output: That's true. It's a federal offense to not comply with uniformed personnel.
Well, Madeline, do you think it's time that these children know the truth?
Output: I think maybe it is. It's such a romantic story.
Objection! I'd like to object using the same case Tim just cited.
Output: I feel like we're going to lose because he got Barack Obama as his lawyer.
You ate my squirrel brains.
Output: I didn't want to. My parents made me do it.
Are you going to look at it? That might be the ringer. It might be notifying you that you're getting an incoming call.
Output: But it's playing a song, I thought phones were like "ring ring ring?"
Valarie, you're spending too much time with the customers. I need you to hit those tables you can't stay at one table forever.
Output: I want to tell somebody my van story. I've heard it makes people hungry.
What about your lemonade? You haven't gotten your lemonade yet.
Output: I'm getting very, very impatient. But respectfully so.
You look like a bionic person, but you don't have no skills.
Output: And where are your boobs?
The Ouija board is moving!
Output: You saying "craisins" made it move.
First of all, Merilyn is a woman, Tim. And yes, I think maybe the three of us could be the collective man in Merilyn's life.
Output: That's what it would take for a woman like you, who looks like an angel with her wings cut off.
Yeah, I mean it smells bad, I guess in a good way. My eyes are burning.
Output: There is something pleasant about it.
One thousand francs for one thousand Pepsis? In Brussels they're 25p.
Output: Well then go back to Brussels, ya Brussel Sprout head.
Casey, what if I told you there was a door that leads to a magical land and you could take my place there? It would be like the parent trap, except we're not related and our parents don't know each other.
Output: That sounds kind of fun. We do kind of look alike.
Eleanor, are you doing some kind of voo doo act?
Output: You know I put those days behind me when you said a woman belongs along side a man's reconstruction business.
I'll have to check that show out on Netflix. It's probably there.
Output: It's probably one of those shows they never remove from Netflix. It never goes in the vault.
Downy's famous Seacrest Bank was just recently bought by a conglomerate. Do you work for that conglomerate?
Output: I actually sold to the conglomerate. I did pretty good by selling off to Wachovia.
Yeah, you're right about that. Maybe we should ban together and create some kind of union or something.
Output: You mean like a super group?
I thought you said the dummies require a hand inside of them in order to talk?
Output: It does. He's actually talking on his own. I've never seen anything like it.
Listen, I just feel like us being the only two black kids at this school, I think it's wrong that we're the only ones required to take this class.
Output: You know what? I have to say that I agree. It's not right.
Lou, don't give Ryan the impression that you're a blue-collared guy. We're white collar guys.
Output: I have a riding tractor at my house.
Okay, well, I mean, he's a trusted brand name, and Twinkie is nothing to sneeze at.
Output: No, and we might get on television.
I'm so worried about him, you know how he disappears.
Output: Yeah he's a wizard you know. I heard he went to Hogwarts!
I figured you have a meeting or some sort of job.
Output: I test out the designer suits to see if they'll stand up under normal conditions.
Kurt, please call me Dr. Fortuna.
Output: I'm almost 7. I feel like I'm pretty mature for my age though.
Should I ask what you're going to do?
Output: We're going to kill them with this bone saw.
Your father sounds like an interesting man.
Output: He also owns one record label. Hew owns Emoch. It's mostly hate jazz.
Get off my bus.
Output: Oh, Neal, it's OK. Your exorcists are here to un-haunt your bus.
I guess we better get out on stage.
Output: Yeah, we'll see how well Tony plays when he's sucking off a meatball sub.
My Lord, I was thinking of also getting the Rachel haircut.
Output: I can't control what you want to do with your hair.
Baby, they want the blazer back.
Output: Yeah, give them the blazer. We already decided this in America.
I'm not pointing fingers, that's for sure. I'm not. I'm only looking at one person though.
Output: Right, and that's just to confirm we both don't know who fell asleep on stage.
Oh, my God! The knife is three times the size of Putio.
Output: That's right, but it's lighter than a feather.
What do you mean, you're leaving Van Nuys?
Output: Well, I just sound too fancy to live here.
All right, here we go. A couple of drinks. Here's a reindeer martini for you and some drinking water.
Output: Wow, thirty olives.
I'm not worried.  Based on what you're describing, you go do whatever you need to do at the convention with your little crab costume.  Our marriage is going to be fine.
Output: Okay, because I'm planning on getting tons of hygienist tail this week.
I have one more quick question. Are we totally sure that there isn't going to be extra security protecting the Hazel Diamond?
Output: Listen, the Hazel Diamond is only the 5th most famous diamond in the world. They're not going to bring out the big guns for this.
Despite loving you, Bernice, I think you should be with the king.
Output: Thank you, Turtle. Thank you for setting me free.
So, you're doing an interrogation here?
Output: Against National Lampoon's, yes.
Excuse me, miss. I'm not done looking at the menu. I don't like being rushed. I'm trying to read the menu. I will request service when I need service. Thank you very much.
Output: Ow, you're grating me with your fork.
Mrs. White, you're like Mary Poppins. I wish you were my mom. Let's run away together.
Output: You shouldn't wish for such things. You have a mother and a father who love you.
There's a whole section about leaving the toilet seat up, but I'm not sure why.
Output: That's the riddle.  When you're able to answer that riddle, the bathroom door will unlock, and you'll be free.
Donny, you've been putting the laptops in the wrong location in the parking garage.
Output: Oh, I've been such a dumb ass.
Mauricia, he's gone. It's like you two were never married.
Output: I have never felt so lonely.
You know, Ludmilla, I feel like this hot dog stand is maybe not the best location at the back of the theme park.
Output: Don't worry, Yourpantsflat, because I have another idea.  Even better!  And Goofy, you could just put that Gatorade right where the sun is not shining!
You guys want a couple bites of some peanut brothers over here?
Output: I wouldn't say no to a peanut brother.
But, like, in all honesty, I don't want to point fingers, but, you're working at a Dennys, so that's kind of a step down from me in my situation.  I still got it!
Output: Wait a minute, I just remembered I work at a Dennys, too.  That's a double burn.
So where did we land about the group therapy idea? I think we should do it.
Output: Me too, Pierre.
Hey, uh, anytime you want to start moving here.
Output: Oh, sorry, we just got deep in conversation.
You're waiting for a package but you're about to leave town?
Output: I just figured, you know, am I going to spend my whole life waiting for this FedEx package? Maybe I should go and find it.
Are you sure we can stay for this? I know I've got some white people in my family somewhere.
Output: You're taking the extra class though, right?
I just want to let you know that Roberto soul was pure soul. He was an amazing man and he helped others.
Output: Jeanine, this is no time for a eulogy. A man has died.
King, you're not going to be in love with me because I currently beat my wife?
Output: It's not points in your favor is what I'm saying.
Miles' latest stepmother is met with yet another unseemly demise, and I find myself quite alone and rich and famous and the tree-murdering magnet.
Output: I'm going through a bit of the same myself, now.  My recent betrothed died of a wheat blight and he caught it and just sort of wasted away in a sort of way.
Napkins.  We started to charge because everybody wants to take them.
Output: It's pretty much all people want is napkins, so we charge them a nickel a napkin.
Hi President of the High Council. Did you hear me say that you can go penetrate yourself?
Output: Yeah, my ears and antennae. were burning.
I thought you were a Thompson?
Output: That's the name of the tour company.
Yeah, you're allowed to touch the sprinkles.
Output: On one hand, I really do want to touch the sprinkles, but, I mean, it isn't cool for us to just stick our hands in the food.
This kid, he's like a child. He's like 13 years old. Teaching him to break into homes is not a good idea.
Output: He's 13 years old, but he looks like he's 18 years old.
Guys we did it! We're number 1 on the craft fair charts!
Output: OK. I'm out. You guys are on your own.
You can't make money unless you're really making money. That's the point of business, right sweetheart?
Output: That's right. Your money has to be working for you at all times.
Hey, that's our father you're talking about.
Output: I know, but why doesn't he have a regular job?  He wears that frilly apron around the house like a real Mr. Mom.
I'm here with my Red Hat society. I can't find my group and it's been a week.
Output: There's just something about this place. No one seems to be able to get out.
Honey, I'm concerned about your heart health.
Output: Alright, I love you. We've been married for quite some time and you're the most important person in the world to me.
How about we start selling a bead? Like a clunky, awkward, large bead? We can make them sort of like charm bracelets.
Output: We should take the name from a magical creature, like one that's know for not wanting to give stuff away.
Tom, I'm allergic to puppies.
Output: Yeah, look at him. He's breaking out in hives and sneezing all over the place.
Michael and Gayle, it seems like you two have quite a history together. Now, how long has this been going on?
Output: OK. Look, Michael and I went to the Grand Canyon a couple years ago. It was a nice weekend away.
We keep having these meetings during business hours.
Output: You're the worst manager ever.
I don't know if you fuck with him. He's got a steel eye, girl.
Output: Yeah, it's a steel mono-eye. It's from an accident.
I'm starting to feel that we shouldn't have spent our Christmas Eve looking at a place we're going to be turning into something else, at the expense of others.
Output: You know what, sweetheart? You're right. We should have just come back when it was a Wal-mart.
Charlie, you kind of zoned out there for a little bit. What's going on?
Output: Sorry, just a flashback to the early 90's. I got an assignment from my boss, Bill Clinton.
We don't even know Cedric yet, but we'll get him.
Output: Well, there's a few degrees of seperation, but I could probably get you in touch with Cedric.
Oh no, please keep your beak away from me, you monster.
Output: You're lucky I'm not a squid there. Even smarter than octopuses.
They said the train is cancelled. I don't know why I'm still here.
Output: I'm so glad, baby doll. Please come home. I'm so sorry about everything. I don't want you to start a new life. Please don't leave your old life with your family who loves you.
Lisa, guess what? You graduated. I'm skipping you ahead.
Output: Oh, our mother coughs up blood. Can we get passed too? She's sick.
Well, I have a weird job. Parents hire me to hide in their kids' closets on the off chance on the off chance that the kids will wake up in the middle of the night and back into the closet. I'll grab them, and it's used as a tool to teach kids to keep their rooms tidy.
Output: Wow, I never realized there was a market for something like hiding in kids' closets to scare them into keeping their rooms clean.
The internet is great. You can watch Nightmare on Elm Street anytime you want.
Output: You can even meet up with people who don't wear pants.
The timing of this seems a little weird, that you want me to do this now.
Output: Cards on the table. I worry, because of my secret love for Meredith, that she's mixed up with a bad guy who is also Janice's husband perhaps. Or at the very least her baby daddy. So I want to expose this Jonathan.
I'm currently married three times.
Output: And you've ranked your wives I see.
I'd like to welcome a newcomer. He used to be an artist of the arts and now he's an artist of the word.
Output: Hooray! This better rhyme, meat!
Wait, the molecules are that long? How long is the actual dust itself, that's visible to the eye.
Output: I don't know feet, I don't know meters. I would say a snake's length. But it's just dust. Not a snake.
Talking is my right. You need to take a step back, sir. I'm talking to my husband and I'm letting him go be with another woman. I think this takes precedence over your life dream.
Output: I understand. I let my son go find his true love at the Grand Ole Opry so many years ago.
Yeah, I forgot my umbrella.
Output: I forgot mine, too.
It's time that we started ating like dueling presidents let roll out the maple syrup act of 2020.
Output: Oh yeah the one that outlaws any and all fake maple syrup and makes it punishable by death to consume, good idea.
I was watching Lavar Burton.
Output: You know how I feel about Lavar. I love him. I'm very proud of you.
OK, I'm sorry I'm not into all the stuff that you're into.
Output: Well, you never took any interest in my interests did you? You know I had a weekly  video game playing group and you never even showed up once.
I'm here as your lawyer. I am also a vampire. And people don't believe that I can do both, but I can do both.
Output: Since you brought that up, it sounds like you're insecure about it.
What about if we're just coming into the football game for concessions?
Output: Yeah, this my husband and I's favorite restaurants.
Well, yes, but they see me as something of a leader, and if the loggers are to succeed in this town, why we must band together.
Output: Band together?  I'll tell you what I'll band together.  All the crows that talk to me in my dreams.
What are you kids doing here in my barn?
Output: We were just trying to do dangerous sexy times.
See, Arlene? That's why I don't talk to you like that because I'm afraid I'll scare our son.
Output: Oh, Dad. Even that wasn't great.
Do you believe you're going to jail? Because you're going to jail.
Output: That's what you say, but I believe jail doesn't exist, therefore I'm not scared.
So you want obstacles to piloting the ship?
Output: Yeah, and more buttons and switches than we possibly could need.
You know, I'm going to call you Swoop.
Output: Alright, well that's better than Jim or whatever your name. is.
You're just going to let us float down the river to our deaths? You said we were leaving Baltimore to find something!
Output: We left Baltimore to find something new. Maybe that new thing is death. Do you want to give it a try with me?
We'll make a solemn promise. This does not leave this cold storage.?
Output: We'll cut our long thumbs off before we tell anyone.
Shoe I got a shoe over here a shoe for sale.
Output: Where'd you get a shoe I bet you got it from your grandpa's closet.
Now look, Doreen. When you list the materials for the business cards, say "flesh" pretty quick and pretty casual. The people that want those will hear it if you say it that way.
Output: Alright. Is it like when the Native Americans couldn't see the ships because they had a blindness because they hadn't seen ships before?
I see a black man in his mid- fifties taking a walk with a cockroach.
Output: They're in step. This is a choice for the cockroach.
Look you guys, I feel like this is what she wants.
Output: Oh my god, you're right she's trying to divide us!
It is with great sadness that I take this mound of dirt and bury my dog underneath it. Oh, my God. He's moving.
Output: The dirt brought him back to life?
He's been living with me about for months now, and I don't mind it. I'm happy to have the company.
Output: Well, Del, but you're a very generous person and that's one of the reasons I love having you in class.
Gwyneth, you're daydreaming again. Would you like to share with the rest of the class what you're thinking about, in detail?
Output: I was thinking about bludgeoning each and every one of you with a mace, you know it has the spikes? It's like a club with spikes. You just hit someone 'til they're a pulp.
Stop chewing on the table, lady.
Output: OK. Is it not a good thing to chew on the table? Do you want a taste?
I'm looking for something to kind of present a gravitas. Something so when people listen to me they believe what I say before I say it.
Output: We have an array of Kathy Ireland glasses. She's one of the wealthiest supermodels to ever exist.
Getting a job here is pretty simple. Accept minimum wage. Make sandwiches. Don't steal, and you know, don't shop up nude - which you clearly are.
Output: Oh, sorry. I was just warm and all my clothes were wet.
Why are so many people at Quiznos today?
Output: They're hungry and they want their subs, and they want them now.
I thought that instead of talking when you're giving directions, you sing. We are backstage at the Grand Ole Opry.
Output: That's true. I never get to sing on stage because of my horrendous voice.
I've given you everything. Lemonade. I make people rent a movie that you alone get to watch.
Output: But I have no choice, so that's not really nice.
I have a cold.
Output: Oh, here, let me give you this Theraflu bottle.
You were a year ahead of all of us. So you shouldn't be here, then.
Output: Yeah, but you know, I go where the wind blows, so.
I'm pretty sure some people agree with me. I've heard people say the same.
Output: You're saying you've heard people say the exact same thing  - "that water fountain looks like it's going to turn into a spider monkey?"
Did you say Paul or Paulie?
Output: See, that's it. I never say it the same way twice.
Darling, are you alive in the Port-o-Potty?
Output: I am. I'm just not interested in talking about the movie Dave with you.
I'll open up these peach cans with my gun.
Output: You're wasting the peaches and bullets.
I've seen an inception. I haven't seen an interstellar, so I don't fully get your reference, Mr. Brown.
Output: It's like the future becomes the past, but the past was the future.
We've got someone over here who wants two towels.
Output: Two towels? Well, there's no rule against it, necessarily. Honestly, we've never really had anybody ask for two towels.
Mom, it makes sense for you to have an affair, since you married a man that you don't know.
Output: Yeah, we support that. It's time to be honest with us.
So, you've come up north to do some business.
Output: I'm going to do some damage, destroy neighborhoods, that's the plan.
I'm behind you, Mr. Kubrick. I'll do a billion takes if  you want. I want to get this right.
Output: The good news is that we can have you play all the parts. The face shield is going to be down. So, no one is going to know that it's you.
You're going to wind up just like that George Burman, losing his job just 'cause he said n-word.
Output: It's no big deal, we all say it from time to time.
Really? I can hold people's problems and not let 'em get out.
Output: I don't know that's what a therapist does. That sounds like a bad description of a therapist. But, I mean, you can do whatever you want.
I'm sorry, I've been in line behind him. Is there no way that I could get these videos?
Output: We have a sitter. The kids are at another house so we can watch a movie at home in peace.
Your machine seems to be making reference to you as though you're a father.
Output: Yes, and I tell you, there's something might strange  about that. I did not program that into the artificial intelligence.
Are your wild animals in your car right now? They're going to chew through the leather.
Output: I work too damn hard for the car that I have. I do not have time for no coyote to be eating my material.
I'm just a tiny little morbidly obese guy.
Output: You don't belong here in this purse. You need to find somewhere else to go.
You know, I called Build-A-Bear and they said that you were not at work, nor have you been at work for the last two weeks. Now I'm just wondering, what in the heck are you doing with your days?
Output: I am walking the streets, making sure that people understand that all is not as it seems.
Go ahead. Give me your best shot.
Output: You know what, this time I'm going to go for the funny bone. It's a little bit of a more sensitive spot.
I could just spit on this pigeon's face right now!  Oh, you little flying bird!
Output: Now, now.  We're all full of rage, of course, because of our stupid parents, and because life sucks, but let's not take it out on the pigeon.
Hey, Lacey. Remember the last time we picked up a hitchhiker? Trouble.
Output: Oh, yeah, one of our friends was murdered. We probably really shouldn't help you out, it's dangerous for us.
Where did you get that dry erase board?  I've been looking for one of those for weeks.
Output: I got it at the Container Store!  I just go inside that place and get lost in the aisles of all the arts and crafts products.
Good job with those ants.
Output: Oh, I didn't mean to kill them.
Sitter, would you like to audition for the haunted hayride? I think you're perfect.
Output: Excuse me. I brought the sitter and she's part of me.
I'd love to just skedaddle out of here if that's all right with you.
Output: It's not usually what we do, but if it's just glasses, you are free to go.
Everyone must like it in order for David to graduate.
Output: I heard they're going to have those little presidential debate meters as they watch it.
Veronica, do you have quarters?
Output: C'mon, there must be some old coins in that pile of bricka brack you got in there.
Yeah, but Kiera became Cara and Andrea became Andraya.  They can do it, those losers, I can, too.
Output: I know.  I think that played more on people's fear of being impolite, but Megan, can I tell you what I've about making people like you?  You've got to do it.  You've got to do it, no matter what the cost.
A show hasn't been  done here in I'd say 50 years. You'd like to take a look inside?
Output: Yeah, I'm thinking about buying this place, tearing it down and putting a Circuit City here.
I'll take some island coffee.
Output: OK, we can boil these rocks to make it. Anybody got a lighter?
It was Tim's cookie, but I asked if I could have it. He said yes and relinquished his rights to the cookie.
Output: I'm sorry gentlemen. This has to go in front of the fortune cookie commission.
Perhaps one day the story of our little show will become a movie.
Output: Then we'll really make it in Hollywood. We'll be famous stars.
You wanted all you can eat.
Output: Yeah, I know, but I didn't think it would follow me around my whole life.
I was looking for some lodging in your wonderful logging town.
Output: Well, the inn's closed for the night, but why don't you come stay with me? Always happy to have a logger in from another land to stay in my home and share in my hearth.
Joshua, you're still young. 90 is the new 70.
Output: That's right. I'm just going to travel the world. It will be me and my old friend, the monkey paw that killed my wife.
The shoes are extraordinarily light.
Output: It's extraordinary. For you to wear those it seems like your foot would have to be right there. Just right in front of me. Or does your foot or your body weigh it down? Okay, I get it.
We're opening a booth right here at the fair. Every single year, people are going to have crushed up ramen in a paper bag.
Output: Do you need someone to work that booth? We'd sure be honored to do it.
Lisa, what do you not understand about "I'm going to be hungover for the school year?"
Output: Yeah but I was just wondering if you could, like, maybe write a letter to my dad just saying that I turned in all my work and that I'm probably the smartest girl in the class.
That guy's horrible.
Output: He's the worst. Why does he put the helmet on if he's just going to take it off to talk to people?
He's one of those foreign cheeky guys.
Output: I'm very cheeky, literally. Look at my butt.
When I'm at the gym, I get told to clean up the statues and fluff the roses.
Output: Well, it's part of the job. You think I don't love you? I'm your father.
That's pretty unique lighting you have for a lounge chair.
Output: Oh, I just like to do little shows for my husband. It's none of your business but, I like to stand under a real spotlight and put on a little show. I sing songs. I do karaoke.
You can't find your yogurt? Why wouldn't you check in the fridge first?
Output: Because sometimes I keep it under the bed.
All right. I guess one of us should go back out there.
Output: Okay. You can go.
So, you're not the baby man? You're just a third brother?
Output: People can have more than one brother.
You missed your calling. You're really terrible as a logger. You cut your own arm off. You should have been a singer. 
Output: It was my fault for wearing that brown shirt.
Tom, we've been through so much. How do we know that it's not just going to fall to the wayside once we get together?
Output: Meredith, there's no guarantee that we won't end up in a loveless marriage like I'm already in right now. But isn't it worth taking the chance for at least a fun wedding?
Is it true that you ran the most marathons ever? That's what you told everyone at school.
Output: He's got a pretty weird body type for a marathon runner.
Garmonson is where they make Garmons.
Output: They're never lost in that town, that's for darn sure.
It's in honor of the great Minnie Pearl. That was her thing. She wore a hat with a price tag on it.
Output: Oh yeah. I'm so stupid. I don't know why I said I didn't know that.
We used to call my great aunt Nancy.  She used to be Nanny, but she gave that spelling up when she got married.
Output: Oh, that's understandable.  A lot of people are doing that now.  It's the newest trend.
Terry, what's wrong? It's not my cooking is it?
Output: I think I'm going to die.
We like the women around here dressed in real baggy stuff.
Output: I noticed that. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize the dress code was as such.
Mr Powellmore? What if I finish it early and I turn it in tomorrow? I mean, is there any way I can get my grades early? 'Cause my dad really wants to see like, that I'm working hard and that I'm putting the time in.
Output: Lisa, what do you not understand about "I'm going to be hungover for the school year?"
Press a button that's an earth tone. I know that because I'm an autumn.
Output: Oh great, it looks like it's working.
Everybody, just remember, don't touch the ghouls. The ghouls can't touch you. You can't touch me.
Output: She's touching your shoulder and you can't do anything about it.
Yeah, my daughter, I sent her out for some beer and I think she might have come here. Do you know if she came around here? She hasn't come back with my beer and I'm getting worried.
Output: She was here. She seemed to be scared of you. They took off to a magical cave. The mystic cave.
If there's anyone here that who knows of any impediment to Evelyn Orzaball becoming a member of the board of Sport Club, please come forward.
Output: My name is Ira Smith Orzaball, Banker. I'd like to say a few things about my mother.
You have moved to number two as the worst person on earth right now, behind Adam.
Output: Thank you. I knew that was coming.
And he's annoyed. Did you tell Craig to act annoyed?
Output: Yeah, I said he's annoyed. I don't know if I made that clear that the salesman is annoyed to be delivering ice blocks.
As you know, we released gay sperm into the population to see if it would infect the levels of gay babies.
Output: The results came back that there are gays all over the place.
We're sitting here on the front row like a bunch of chumps.
Output: I know. It's crazy. We could be backstage, smoking with the cast.
Scientists, there is a young girl on television confusing the world about the difference between stalactite and stalagmite.
Output: There's also some copyright violations.
I'm not good enough to work here.
Output: Now listen to me, missy. This is gonna be hard, but we're gonna get that blockage blown clear.
I am the reincarnation of the mother into a lifeless puppet.
Output: The mother? You refer to yourself as "the mother"? How creepy.
I'm going to be producing a new film called Poltergeist and I want to put this lady in it.
Output: I'll have top bill in this movie, right?
Why don't you just brush the lettuce off?
Output: I don't want to ruin it.
This place isn't that big.
Output: It's cozy. Thanks for setting this up.
It's a silk rove. The material is not clinging at all. It's very soft. What is this condition you have exactly?
Output: Silk anesthesia. There's only four known cases in the United States.
You're really opening up the possibility of true love to anyone.
Output: Yes, I mean Turtle, a humble blimpsman, let's see what's up.
I just want to understand this very clearly.  You're telling me that you saw a child running around this house's front lawn and you come over to invite him to visit you at your bar.
Output: Hey, we all go through hard times, don't we?  Tragedy knows no age.
Did you want me to hold your head?
Output: Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I guess your character probably wouldn't.
The trash industry has suffered because of the cancellation of the Olympics. We don't get a lot of quippy commercials. The population has gone down since people aren't having sex in the Olympic village.
Output: And drone fireworks shows, there's been fewer of them.
So, where are you staying Toadstool?
Output: Right here. Pretty much, I stand here and at some point, my sunburn gets so bad that I pass out from the pain.
Are you able to get pregnant, Lisette?
Output: Hey, if last year is any indication, then yes, dude.
Who let's the Big Toppers go? We're the Big Top brothers.
Output: We love you here, but the trapeze is not what it used to be.
Here's a ring that my father gave me.
Output: Oh, my god. Your father gave you this ring and it fits me perfectly.
Hey, look who made it back to the wrong side of the tracks.
Output: They call me Mrs. Bender now, but you knew me as a different person.
Ms. Williams, I'm going to go make preparations because I'm an actor and an actor prepares, but I do hope that you will enjoy the play.  If you have any helpful, constructive criticism, when it is over, I look forward to your thoughts, just actor to actor.
Output: That would be wonderful, and maybe you could sneak me into your basement tonight.  I need somewhere to stay.
Excuse me, I'd like to get in on this bet.
Output: Certainly, employees are allowed to bet. Highly irregular, but everything is permitted today.
We don't actually have to use stones, because there's a little bit of stone - on a microscopic level - inside everything. So everything is jewelry.
Output: And therefore, everything is precious. So we don't need jewelry anymore.
Me and Carol were having a disagreement and she pushed me right into the doors as they were closing.
Output: Yeah, I did it. Glenda deserved it. I'd do it again if I had to.
Get a room already, you two.
Output: I'm just expressing my admiration, you know.