niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
Rick, you know this school is very prestigious and you must wow us in order to be accepted. Only the best from all the galaxies attend this shul.
Output: I'd be the first in my generation to attend an institute of higher learning and that's why I'm here today to do this monologue that I wrote in my spaceship on the way here.
Those nine girls being your nieces is complicated. 
Output: You know what's complicated? Their hair.
This is my partner, Officer Puffins.
Output: Hey, how's it going? Don't make fun of my name, alright? My brother created those cereals.
I noticed you're holding what looks like a relay baton. Is someone going to come and take your place? And you're waving that relay baton at me very threateningly.
Output: At 50 minutes we leave the door open for the next - what did you say? Yes. It is a baton. Yes, there is somebody coming.
We all came in here and lost the ticket to our cars. He's never let us leave. We invented Wikipedia because we were fucking bored.
Output: So, we all have our own separate stories of how we came to be here?
Now, you know that was a bad idea, Pip.
Output: How do I know, since I never got to do it? In my mind, it's still a very good idea.
Are you two doctors? Is this why you're in my room?
Output: We're not doctors. Not quite. I took a semester.
If only that one word wasn't burnt, I could have better understood the poem.
Output: We wish you luck in your quest, but we just want to go back into the darkness and watch TV.
Is that really how it works? The regular cast doesn't even know their lines?
Output: Yep, every night we just wing it. So far, so good, but you never know when it's going to come to a crashing halt.
The Jersey Shore Book of Shadows is one of those breathing books.
Output: Oh, my God, it's got horrible breath. I wonder if there's a way you can make it stop.
It just seems like everyone in my life has forgotten my birthday today. Including me.
Output: That's why I send those post cards every year, to remind you. Everyone loves to get a postcard.
You should probably quit smoking. That's one of the reasons, also, that your daughter wanted a new daddy.
Output: Yeah, I was smoking like a chimney and that was really bugging her lungs.
Juan, I feel like we're losing customers left and right.
Output: Well, maybe we should ask the patient why.
You're wasting the peaches and bullets.
Output: Claptrap can't do nothing right. I can't do nothing right, can I? My whole life all I tried to do was do right. And I can't do nothing right.
Sasha, is this the time for me to try maple-cocaine paste?
Output: Well, I mean, if we're not running away together, why not?
Rudy, this show is going terrible. It's getting very dirty.
Output: Yes, I feel like I should get back out there with my list.
I clean a lot. I'm a clean person. You don't have to come in and check my apartment if you rent to me.
Output: You're a very clean person. You have beautiful nails and nail beds. Your face is shining like the sun, but not in a greasy way. In a way lit from within. You have beautiful translucent skin. I see your veins but I don't mind it. You're like a statue come to life.
I got you a kiss kit because you're terrible at kissing me. Your mouth slides all over my face and it grosses me out.
Output: As his twin sister, he consults me in all matters sexual. So, I decided he should order a kit for you to help you out.
Alec, Sulu updated her Facebook profile.
Output: That's cool. Hey, looks like Sulu's drowning.
Are you kicking me out because I don't have anything interesting about my haircut or the way I dress? Sorry I don't dress like you, dad. I'm sorry I'm not unique or sartorial.
Output: Well, look, this isn't making me change my mind on not wanting you around anymore.
I just thought I should go to coach's funeral, and I thought what's the least amount of money I can spend on an outfit and I decided to come here.
Output: That's what I did. I actually ended up buying three shirts.
Yes, yes. We do worship Satan here, so that's let me just clear that up right now.
Output: You have just settled a bet for me. Thank you.
Well, where is the manager of the stadium, the commissioner of the league?
Output: Skip, the health inspector is asking for you.
That counting that you hear from outside might be my kids.
Output: Can they not count? They don't seem to know if it should be counting up or counting down.
Normally what we would do is clap you in irons and throw you in French jail and you'd never see the light of day. But we have a problem underneath the Eiffel Tower. If you were to break up these pickpocket gangs, I could probably forget that you murdered a man and also gave me his steaming hot kidneys.
Output: You know, if he doesn't take you up on that offer, I will. I mean, I just overheard what you were talking about.
I played a lot of memorable games here and so I haunt this place to this day.
Output: Why, do you have unfinished business here at the Forum?
Guys, I understand we have the classic pole, so we slid down when we here there's a fire. We have no way of getting back up there. I looked all around. I started making chili up there.
Output: You left the stove on? That's not safe.
Look how much she likes you.
Output: I'm gonna go get the camera. This is so special.
Oh my god, what's over your shoulder? It looks just like you.
Output: It's my twin brother Amos.
KriKrag was very specifically racist. It was weird because he was in a mixed marriage.
Output: That's usually what happens. The thing you love about someone becomes the thing you hate after a long time.
Maybe we should just invite her and her little bean-eating friend inside to watch Jeopardy with us.
Output: Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, I want to be more assertive, but I think I would be intense to have them in here in my home.
I know we just met him, but, Denise, do you think you're going to be okay doing this with Jim?
Output: Well, now that I know his name and his backstory, I feel like I can empathize with him.
Bye, Felicity. Have fun. I'll be in here.
Output: OK. Barbara, I hope to see you again.
You spent all that time doing the arrangements.
Output: Yes.  I have a natural flair for it.
Hey, boss.. Sorry, I came back to work. I left early and went home to my wife to have sex, and it did not go well.
Output: Happens to me all the time. I mean, sometimes you're going there to have the sex, and it doesn't go the way that you wanted to, you know? It's too much moisture are like, or too little. Or it's too hot. Who wants to have sex when it's that hot? All types of things can happen. to you.
If Vera keeps singing, existence as we know it may unravel.
Output: They're really giving her a lot of time on this show too.
Monica, what have you been doing since high school?
Output: Mostly I've been engaging in impromptu businesses.
Oh my god, Angela didn't want to go with you because she knows you have herpes, OK?
Output: It's cold sores on my penis. Not herpes.
There's smoke billowing out of the windows. We should probably check and see if our children are OK.
Output: You do that and I'll wrap up your crow painting.
Well, right this way. Down this long, long, long hallway.
Output: All right. God, you weren't kidding. I can't even see the end of it.
Look, son. What's this headline here in the newspaper you're carrying?
Output: All the wineries have gone bust since the law that all wine must be given away for free was enacted.
I don't remember anything before Frozen came out.
Output: Who wants to? That's my favorite movie.
I don't like David's chances of graduation.
Output: No, the play must be performed to the satisfaction of every race in the galaxy, a nigh impossible task.
I actually wouldn't mind staying. My daughter's very taxing my mother is making me constantly feel guilty.
Output: Hey, fair enough. You stick around in the painting.
Your hands are extremely clammy.  It's disgusting.
Output: Well, you know, I'm a nervous person, and my therapist told me that I should hold peoples' hands to get over it.
Home Depot doesn't carry everything.
Output: Yeah, I know you don't got tampons.
When I first applied to be a weatherman, they told me I couldn't do it because I was wearing big shoes.
Output: Yeah, everybody knows you can't be on TV with big shoes. But you changed all that.
It's so tall.
Output: I know, and there's a reason why I took you here for your first family vacation. You're my little girl. I love you. Daddy loves you. He couldn't be here, but he loves you. I wanted to give you some culture. I wanted you to walk among the wine heads.
I'm gonna put all of the foodstuffs and the linens in here.
Output: That's a great idea! It's a good thing that lady told us about that hidden closet!
I never should have showed you how to control the ship.
Output: Well, it was your own fault for keeping me alive.
I happen to know a lot about nuts and I'd be happy to teach you anything that you don't know.
Output: OK. You know what I'd really like is a name.  Maybe you can give me the name of a nut.
We tried, we gave this labyrinth our best effort.
Output: We had a good run, but look, we're eccentric millionaires.
What do you think she meant by not sharing anything we see there?
Output: It sounded - it's either really dangerous or really sexy.
I though you were some sort of strange samurai or something.
Output: How did you do it? You figured out that the chef outfit was just a disguise and that I'm really a samurai! Now you have to die.
It doesn't breathe right.  All the moisture collects in all the crevices and the nooks and the crannies. ?
Output: I told you to get it waterproofed before go on a yacht in the super Mediterranean.
Thank God you said father, I thought you were talking about me at first.
Output: I actually thought he was talking about Goofy.
We have been living in a house full of rubble. I need some good news. We halted our construction for this.
Output: Darling, I wish I could say that wasn't a gigantic mistake.
Cran, why don't you go toss yourself into the ocean and you'll be out of the way? 
Output: I will. I'm gonna put on my lab coat and walk out there.
What do you think of this. Madison Cube Garden?
Output: Not to rain on the parade, but with the Madison Sphere Garden, lots of people died.
Dad, I'm hungry. Now I'm really hungry.
Output: Dennis, is it? Have you thought about going somewhere else to eat some food and leaving us alone?
Old man Jenkins
Output: Well she's what we need in this place, all you louses running around on your mechanical wheels, she comes in here with youth and life, I say bring her in!
Great job. Here's a $5.
Output: You can just put it in the jar over there. We pool them together and then divvy them up at the end of the day.
Jim, is it allowed for Mr. Takei to bring in polaroid photos for the contest, since they are already developed?
Output: Yeah, sure. Why not? I'll grandfather it in. Good work, Mr. Takei. We are honored that you're participating in our contest.
I'll have you know, this woman is the love of my life, and I feel even closer to her now that she's thrown up on my face.
Output: Oh, gross, there's puke everywhere now. Even in this corner.
Welcome to our racially diverse Chinese restaurant. Don't let my looks fool you, I'm also Irish. We're all from everywhere. It's the laws you passed, mayor. 
Output: The laws I passed? Excuse me, I've got to get to city hall to look at my papers.
Margaret take us someplace. We want to go on a journey.
Output: Close your eyes. We'll go on a journey within.
Are you going to sing it Abbapella, which is Abba without instrumental accompaniment.
Output: I assumed that's what it meant. It's very easy logic to follow.
Can we all go directly to the source to get it?
Output: This is a little unconventional.
What I really like more than poetry is sports. I know only family can get into that club,.
Output: Technically, you're part of the Orzaball family. So, welcome to Sport Club. They have a lot of great sports. Some of them even have balls.
Am I dressed how you wanted?
Output: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, those look like joggers, but they'll pass. You know, joggers are similar to sweat pants, but they're a little tighter and form fitting. I wanted sweat pants.
I'm not a private detective!
Output: I wasn't going to suggest that you were.  I was just going to ask you what you were reading.
Hey, stage tech. Can you please give us a spotlight on this lobster?
Output: His name is Bob. And if there's one thing that maybe you need to learn before you graduate, David, is to learn people's names.
Karen, I love you maroon lipstick.
Output: It's from that new show I've been watching, The Friends.
Mary Sue, you're wearing that same hanker-chief shirt you were wearing when I met you. Charming, I'm sure.
Output: She's finally grown into her hanker-chief shirt that she's worn for years. She was horrifically underdeveloped for quite a long time.
On a journey, three shall go, where it takes them, none shall know.
Output: You're the storm drain oracle. I read about you too.
That's why we're called Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow. We're the same thing every day.
Output: We're the number one international hair magazine.
Oh, I didn't see that. I'm sorry.
Output: It's under my dress.
I'm still in here. Trying to poop.
Output: Okay, we're trying to leave. You're the one talking to us.
I'm down to try it once, but if it don't work, I got a big old fist for you.
Output: You're gonna punch a phone, Junebug?
So I'd get seventy percent of this money if I help you?
Output: I was thinking the other way. I would get the 70, you'd get the 30. You're a puppet. Like what do you need money for?
So I'll be back later. I'll bring my horse over and then we can all just have like a late play sesh.
Output: Jimmy, would you like to take a television for the road?
Look, I don't know about you, but I made it to about three months old and now I'm stuck here in purgatory forever.
Output: And that's the big joke, isn't it? We all look like adorable little babies, but we've aged. Mentally.
Farmer is my professional title.
Output: Wait, are we supposed to be addressing all farmers as farmer-something. Like doctor or policeman?
I thought hell would be full of evil people.
Output: Yea, but they are all kind of fucking whacked. It's nice to have a real ass bitch down here sometimes.
We forgot to tell you something, mama. We didn't want to bother you. Well, nothing much, but we just probably are just gonna have to redo the same grade next year.
Output: What is it? Just a book report? I'll write up a couple book reports for you two.
That does seem like, you know, you were judging him a little to harshly.
Output: Well, you may be right, but I felt as if I were judging him just harshly enough for having shat in my office.
You have not been here 30 years.
Output: 27 1/2 to be exact.
Perhaps some day our paths will cross. Until that time, thank you for delivering these delicious bagels to my office.
Output: OK. Well, thanks for taking the meeting with me.
Here are the results of our latest conference. We have concluded that humans feel it's inappropriate for young men and young women to have sleepovers together at your age, so unfortunately we must say no.
Output: OK, well, how about this. Do you mind if we play late? Like, super late?
Oh, gosh. I don't know what to say. I like unicorns. I have a lot of stickers on my binder.
Output: I like stickers. Very much so. My dad taught me all about 'em.
Pinky, can you explain the opening to act one?
Output: Our story is set in 20th century Rome. Visitors from another planet have come to meet Julius Caesar, not realizing they have made a terrible miscalculation in time.
I was kind of hoping Kay would help me pick out my jewelery.
Output: Oh, I see. You thought that Kay was a person and not just a slogan. There are people named Kay, but not in this place. There is a Kay that works at the piano place next door.
You make me laugh, young man. You remind me of a young me.
Output: Really? Well, I'm here because I was just looking to expand the family business. Maybe we can make a chain of our bagel shop.
The ghost cookies are Eucharists. It's Christmas, so I figured there should be some Christ stuff in there.
Output: I put the label ghost cookies on the bowl because I wanted people to read it.
So, Toadstool, that was how you made money.
Output: Yeah, Leg Cramp ended up marrying one of those guys and leaving me.
And my client won't answer any questions about temperature.?
Output: All right. Can I ask why did your client agree to this interview?
Walk me through exactly what it is you want me to expose here, alright? I'm really freaked out and I'm not remembering exactly what it is.
Output: Janice's husband is the father of that little Little League girl.
Cut the rind off of my cheese, mother.  I prefer a rindless cheese.
Output: Well, that's the most nutritious part.
We are ready to paint this whole building orange if you don't let me out of this contract, Mr. MTV.
Output: Right after we tear it down, Mr. MTV.
Look at us.  A secret society with a pigeon in a cage.  We're hardly a secret society at all!
Output: That reminds me, we've got to get this pigeon out of here.
Welcome to DM Sliders, can I get you a bike?
Output: I do need a bike. A raccoon stole mine and I had to watch him ride away on it, and I guess I just need to replace it. But I need it to be inexpensive because I wasn't expecting to have this expense come into my life.
We didn't want to eavesdrop, but yeah, we heard that you're leaving.
Output: You were only using chairs as a buffer, so it was easy to hear.
Oh no, he was supposed to shoot me in the head, and I was gonna shoot him. We were supposed to do it at the same time. He didn't shoot.
Output: Well, I guess your son will have to do it.
If high end sushi shows up somewhere, George Clooney is sniffing around.
Output: That's how they got him to do Ocean's Eleven.
Steve, do you do anything besides accounting?
Output: Yeah, I do. I also like to look in people's disgusting mouths.
Hey, man!  What're you doing out so late?
Output: Oh, you know.  Just trying to soak up the nightlife.  Seeing who's out to party.
Do you take debit cards at this grocery store?
Output: We do. Do you know your pin? It requires a pin.
Has anyone seen Iris? I'm putting these posters up all over the glen.
Output: She has departed this realm for another.
You've never been in a pool and accidentally gotten water in your mouth?
Output: No, every pool that I've been in has been a Jacuzzi with the bubbles  on and it feels like sparkling fucking water.
This kind of life that we lead, it's tough.
Output: I don't know if we mentioned this, but we fuck for money. We're prostitutes.
We have a new order for you. Eat the cat. If you eat the cat, we might be able to get you back in time. It might be enough calories to sustain you to get the spaceship back to Earth.
Output: OK, but what about air? That seems to be a bigger problem.
Can I get the first bus to the border?
Output: I've got a bus that's headed up to upstate New York.
This is wonderful news because I was afraid of getting shot in the face or the arm or the leg or the abdomen.
Output: Those are all bad places to be shot.
He's taken a Target couch cover and turned it into his princely robes.
Output: Ah, well, you know, I haven't that in so long since I've been in Hollywood because we have larger budgets, but you look fantastic.
What is all the noise out here? We're trying to watch television.
Output: I'm so sorry, Mr. Neighborhood Man. Oh, my God. Are you watching television in perfect darkness?
Jack, did you just reveal yourself as a stair witch?
Output: I can neither confirm not deny that I can am a stair witch. But I can confirm that I am late for a therapy session. Gotta go!
Karlt. Karlt. He's from the country.
Output: Stop it, my name is exotic.
Dad, the amount of time that you're in worm holes is more time then you're actually home
Output: It's because of your mother and her lack of loving science. I have to love science for both of us.
I thought we connected on the bullying thing.
Output: Oh, we did. Yeah, sure. I'm currently working through some past trauma.
Ground God, big news. Apparently the word on the street is that Sky God is done. He's having mental breakdown.
Output: Well, the timing could't be more perfect. Check out these pamphlets.
Mr. Pearlman, I know things got a little testy in the principals office. I'm sorry about that. I think the toilet paper really set everyone off.
Output: Yeah, I wish there wouldn't be a ceremony, where they present it to me.
It's the classic gift of Maine. I think they've been in there too long.
Output: We had the idea that we would put some crows in a box, and then when people open the box, the crows fly out. It's quite an effect.
There's something about your brown teeth that makes me think it's like the end of a day on a Monday when I've had a martini. 
Output: I look like one of those horse ladies.
Isn't it like Shakespeare said, "Life is a show that's always on every week at the same time"?
Output: I think you're paraphrasing, very liberally.
Look, I don't question miracles mama and papa.
Output: Nor do we, nor do we. You're a miracle Yorgy and you have miraculously trained this tapeworm to ride a bike.
Daryl, you could write a check for $10.00 to be cruel. It seems like you might be a cruel man.
Output: I guess I'll put that down in my notes on my phone. Things to do to other people.
I don't know if we can have an Oscar so Asian thing and then tell people to take their shoes off. People are going to think we're mocking Asian people.
Output: Just say the blacks did it.
Fellow scientists, we have a problem with Terry. We know he has a drinking problem, but he's been getting his rat drunk and letting his rat hang out with other rats.
Output: Has he been recording his findings in a binder of some kind? If so, that sounds more like an experiment.
Mr. Buffett, I can fly like an eagle. To the sea. Let my spirit carry me.
Output: Sandy, do not quote Steve Miller to Mr. Buffett. I saw him kill someone in the magic show for saying "abracadabra." I saw it happen.
So sorry I'm late everyone. Welcome. I see everyone's set up. 
Output: Hey, Gavin.
This is my husband, Earl.
Output: He is not how I pictured from the story.
Thank you for letting me see the world, but I want to go to school.
Output: You'll go to school when our job is done here in Afghanistan.
I'm Curt Menafee, your play-by-play man for the dance off.
Output: And I'm Betty, a very masculine woman.
Honey, some man came in the room. He broke through one of those paper locks and was questioning you. You threw your fists at him.
Output: I was a criminal and your husband beat me up. He was awake the whole time. He certainly wasn't asleep.
That London couple always gets the best seats.
Output: I love them. We should hang out with them more.
Mr. Denny, will you take me and not my daughter?  Let her go.  She'll make a good wife to Robert, and he'll be a productive employee.
Output: I suppose if I were to determine the way in which you were killed, that might satisfy me, and your daughter may yet live.
Demetrius, I am getting nervous. I don't know where chuck has gone. Ever since he went to that haunted house last night, I haven't seen him anywhere.
Output: I wish you would stop asking about him. You're married to me now.
Daniel, fan away some of the smoke with your signature cowboy hat.
Output: You expect me to take this hat off. Hold on a second.
Yes, but I lied and said I had spilled them on the floor!
Output: But, that didn't really help the group, did it?
To see the painting in person is wonderful. But is it smaller than you thought it would be?
Output: So much smaller. But look how melty the clocks are. This really is tremendous.
Why would you have a lot of grudges? You seem like such a sweet old lady.
Output: The cold war was really brutal.
You guys have an entire room just for outdoor shoes. I'm not used to that at all.
Output: And you never will be used to it. You're an outsider.
Ruth, did you hear that? The loud Doctor said that they are going to the TV studio.
Output: If we just climb in the back of their pickup truck, they might not notice that we're in there.
Sally, come on in here now honey. Sally, hold my hand.
Output: OK, mom. Oh mom, you're dying.
Hey, how's it going over here? Has Bob here taken care of you? Has he recommended some of our 65 different margaritas?
Output: Yeah, he just listed them all by memory. He's really great.
I thought you would take care of that. This is your show.
Output: OK. I have a friend from college that's a psychic.
I want friends.
Output: Go to a club. Join a club if you want friends.
I brought my Dyson from home. It's a $67,000 vacuum that you have to plug in and still use your hands and body with.
Output: You could go to Africa like 10 times for that.
I just put the new setlist at your feet right now in case you need to remember the names of Rush songs.
Output: Thank you Mr. Setlist. What would I do without you?
I do need some gas. But I'm assuming you don't have gas here.
Output: We're a bike shop. And we don't carry gas bikes. So you are correct.
Listen, we get blamed for that stuff. When you take costumes out of a box and try to do yourself up as a bucket, we get blamed for that because we can't say that everything in here comes alive after hours.
Output: I just want to be a bucket. I'm so tired of just holding mail. I want to hold water that's runoff from a roof.
He just listed all the margaritias by memory. He's really great.
Output: Yeah, it just came to me. I realized, hey, I've memorized the entire list.
Hi, my name is Dayle, with a y. I'm the poolside masseuse.  You guys order two massages.
Output: Yeah, I'm going to have feet and hands. And he's going to have just the limbs.
Well, sure, we have problems like any other untraditional couple.
Output: The less traditional you are the more problems you're going to have.
Here we go. Flying into the sky. There's the storm cloud we're looking for.
Output: There's a lot of lightening shooting around in that thing. Are you sure it's safe?
What?  But, father, Lucious is my best friend!
Output: If you don't kill him, I will kill you.
I'm going to go to the R-BnB, too. I'm leaving you..
Output: If you go to the RBB you can never come back to the CCD. Catholic Christ Dormitory. Never, ever.
You're a science teacher, Mrs. White. You're a child that presumably has a science project due and you've got those beautiful balls. Is there a way to combine these three things and enter your balls into science fair.`
Output: What if Mrs. White taught me to draw veins and I did a diagram of my dad's balls?
How much is this call costing? Hang up the phone. I don't want to wait all day to talk to Dr. Phil.
Output: Baby, Dr. Phil made you a more gracious person earlier. Remember his teachings.
Get in here my office, Geum. Or whatever you're going by right now. That stunt that you pulled cost the department $100,000.
Output: Look, angry lieutenant, I was doing it because I was doing my job, okay?
Too bad that show was cancelled. It was misunderstood for its deeply complicated jokes.
Output: I'll have to check it out on Netflix. It's probably there.
I came all over the place when I saw that movie. It's embarrassing, but important.
Output: It is important that we not be ashamed of our bodies and all the stuff that they do that we can't control.
Are you the girl, who was the oldest girl on the Cosby Show?
Output: I was just there to get rufied by Bill.
This is just my natural body hair all matted down with years of oil and sweat.  It's become somewhat of a pelt.
Output: It looks just like a tweed suit!
I'm laughing, but I'm scoffing. I'm scoff-laughing.
Output: Oh, my god. I so don't get scoffing. Everybody, they're like "Pete, you never get it when I'm scoffing."
Sasha, do you require help brushing that creature?
Output: I could use some help, yes. Might you grab a milk pail for me to stand upon?
Middle children always have trouble.
Output: They  really do. They're great communicators though.
I feel like this yo-yo is very expensive.
Output: I feel like you're fighting treating yourself and that worries me.
I'm so happy that you carry spoons on you. They're warm as well, just like the whisky.
Output: I carry them both near my thigh.
Look at that giant over there.
Output: He looks like he's from Game of Thrones. He's enormous.
You kind of look the same. You're a little bit taller and you're a little hairier.
Output: But I have a beard now.
I'll just hang it right here. What do you think?
Output: Well, I think it looks nice, but it's like the crow's eyes are following me.
So you're a Canadian music fan who's here in Los Angeles to see Rush?
Output: That's exactly right, Mr. Wilt Chamberlain's ghost.
Thank you, Peter. You're so gifted.
Output: Please call me Slick.
We have come to have a romantic understanding, isn't that right Madeline?
Output: Yes, it is. We enjoy each other's company. We still have not had sex.
220 dollars for a rear view mirror is crazy.
Output: The part is 120.  We don't do work for free.
Mom, do you know Mr. Piccadilly? Mr. Piccadilly is from Kansas.
Output: I'm from Kansas and you notoriously do not care for the Kansas man.
Boss, I had the script of what I was supposed to say  and I lost it before I came here.
Output: You gotta learn to go from your heart sometimes.
On both of my knees, I had to get the cartilage sucked out of them, but they were able to replace it with just a fine cotton batting that you usually find in stuffed animals.
Output: Well, I barely heard you walk in here, so it must be working.
Sweetie, you seem to be deflating a bit.
Output: Thank you doctors.
I'm just saying I come from a very forward-thinking family.
Output: Did you do all those dumb rituals, like, she became chief because she passed all the trials like she squished the jellyfish, and she touched the geo duck without making it gag?
I just wanted to come on over and introduce myself to you as your new neighbor.  I seen a little fat kid running across the lawn, so I figured somebody was home.
Output: Thanks for saying I was running.  I'm trying my hardest.  Being on Weight Watchers at five years old has been a real struggle.
I didn't realize it was you, Mrs. Gwyneth. Here, I'll take off my clothes.
Output: Oh thank you. Oh my god, we live in a place where what I did going around naked was OK and everybody now takes their clothes off around me?
There she goes, back to her home planet, presumably.
Output: She's still floating away. It's a very slow departure. She looks like she's lost. She's pointing.
They're huge novelty sunglasses. Why do you wear those? They get in your way all the time.
Output: Because I don't want to forget 2013.
Sasha, how are you enjoying the home and the horse we have provided you?
Output: I'm doing great and really enjoying it. She's quite tall, Mr. Popple.
I ain't got nothing going on tonight.
Output: Yeah, I know, you keep telling us that.
I have to ask you, daughter, why have you done this? Why have you transported us to Dimension Kangaroo?
Output: Father? It took a very long time to decide which dimension to go to. Each dimension is very special in its very own way.
We're losing them right and left. They think they have free will. We can't have it.
Output: I think we need to really scare them. I think we gotta put the literal fear of god into them.
Dave, you're fired.
Output: That's right. We came out to fire you even though, I don't have the authority to do so, but Lad does.
I specifically said I wanted the Keebler striped chocolate cookies. You bought the generic store brand.
Output: They didn't have the Keebler brand and I wanted to save money.
Our bailiff, India would normally transfer pills from one person to another. That's how we do things here. You don't just get to had things back and forth willy nilly.
Output: Yeah, but I'm feeling lazy today.
This affects us. You're talking about getting the voices out of your head. That's us.
Output: Well, if you'd stop yourself, I wouldn't have to.
Have you met my daughter, Iris?
Output: Iris, well she's a Pretty Woman.
When my daddy doesn't believe me, it cuts up my soul, but then a scar forms and makes it stronger.
Output: That's right, I tell her that every day.
Do you think they need chefs over there in Candyland? Maybe I should go with you.
Output: I don't know, I'm a child.
What is it you have to do to graduate? I'll write up a couple book reports for you two.
Output: It's a couple book reports. And you need to make one of those things in a shoe box with people. And it's gotta explain atoms.
We forgot to spray paint the cameras before you started shooting.
Output: Twenty of the bank workers are dead and it's all on tape.
We've been doing the same production of Romeo and Juliet for three years?
Output: In English.  In Paris.  It's confusing!
They're not a face character if their face is covered up by another face.
Output: We were told to always refer to them in character regardless of what we saw before us.
We must be so close to our car that we can just walk. Hey, the door seems to be stuck. Do you have child locks on these back here?
Output: Yeah, well, you know. I hope to have a child one day.
The hospital actually burned down, while Mary was in there. She was the last person that was operated on in that hospital. 
Output: Oh, my God. That's awful. How could a fire have even started? Those places are built so they can't be burned down.
You're turning me on talking like that. Let's go make love in those bushes over there.
Output: I can't think of anything I'd rather do more.
I'm proposing we do some kind of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Zac Morris, freeze time and then go back somewhere else kind of thing.
Output: Now you're talking my language. Sabrina the Teenage Witch is the jazz of television programs.
I'm so sorry, Peter. But I want to be a part of the family. I know you read the portents in the sky. You had to know this was coming.
Output: I've known from the time I woke up today that this is my last day on Earth. But I will live on through the crow painting I have sold to your family. My eyes will be the crow's eyes.
Of course we grew up in Minsk and then spent some time in Italy. Before we come here.
Output: That's right, and of course I studied in hotdog school at The Sorbonne. In Paris.
Those concert tickets were a gift, right?
Output: Yeah. My boss says I'm in to weird music and thought I might like these. He doesn't know me at all.
We are sending you to planet Earth in the 20th century to begin work as a playwright.
Output: And now we must do the intergalactic incantation to send our new acting friend to his new destiny in the language of the ancients.
What are those lumps in your jacket? I thought that was some kind of a down jacket, but now I just see they're all lumps.
Output: It's just some things that I'm transporting from one place to another, that's all. There's no need to pry any further.
I just wanted to have a fun, spontaneous trip to a random location.
Output: Well, mission accomplished I guess, except for the fun part. And the food and lodging's weird. This whole place is weird.
Come, sit on my lap my beautiful boy. How was your day?
Output: It was good. I almost choked on a piece of meat. But I taught the children to do what you told me to do, to use the universal sign for choking.
You're gonna punch a phone, Junebug?
Output: I've done it before.
Those stilts have to stay. Those are our property.
Output: Well, I hope somebody fucks in them later.
Just got the word. Everyone's cousins are coming to the play.
Output: I'd rate that a four and half on something I would enjoy happening.
So your husband on board with a murder mystery game night? I know he usually likes things more lavish.
Output: Yeah, Don has said he thinks it's going to be professional actors and there's going to be a formal dinner. But it really all comes in a box.
I'd like to bring everyone into the store. Is that OK?
Output: We should put this to a vote. Officer, would you mind getting us a pad of paper and a pencil so we can make secret ballots and vote on this?
Mr. Ghost, is this a show or are you telling us a story about a show?
Output: My show is about a character that I play telling the story of a show he saw.
I don't know why I didn't notice this about you before, Kyle.
Output: I'm pretty good at hiding it.
I'm 35 years old and took mushrooms recently. The trees told me that I should make a bold choice. I'm thinking I'd like to do a mohawk.
Output: Are you sure you want to do that? That's pretty extreme.
For an immortal oracle, that guy's got cut legs.
Output: He really does. I heard he used to ride a bicycle nude.
I don't have anywhere to show my wares yet. The wait list is so long to get a table.
Output: I can always make a little bit of room at my bowl table.
And remember, always bury an extra key. In aisle four.
Output: Under the pantyhose.
It's really sad that you forgot your daughter's name.
Output: I have a secret to remembering people's names. Shorten it or just call them sweetie.
I borrowed those bullets. I didn't steal them from you.
Output: Expect this grudge to be held for 25 years.
Whoa! Look at Rookie's boner.
Output: That was favorite Disney film growing up.
But do you have to keep the garbage in your car? Is that part of the podcast?
Output: You know, I guess not. Now that you presented it that way. But I always felt, why throw it away? You know, those are memories.
I showed up, like, 45 years ago to get this job done and we've been haggling for years.
Output: How did you end up in this painting?
Okay, I got four hours to Cordelia's violin recital, so let's start moving some boxes.
Output: And I'm supposed to have that cancer surgery.
I've been made fun of before. It's not nice.
Output: No, me too. We've got so much in common.
Attention casino guests, we are still trying to find the gosh darn ticket that's inside the fortune cookie.
Output: I'm so mad at you. You've distracted me from that ticket for months now.
I just want to get into the theater to see Hamilton, the beloved musical.
Output: We came all this way from England.
I have fallen in love with you. I wish you not to leave.
Output: But I'm 15 and you're 40 billion years old.
They can't see what happens here. All the mail comes alive!
Output: Oh no, it's already happening!
I feel like there is something happening just like this in another parking garage at the exact same time.
Output: Yeah, it feels like a temporal disturbance.
Darling, don't you see that I'm afraid of you dying from a cholesterol attack.
Output: Well, I could get hit by a bus walking down the street.
Eleanor. Time for your first day of middle school.
Output: Well, I've got my books all tied up in my book strap.
All of the LaCroixs have a birthmark right at the back of their tongue.
Output: Wow! They're identical cousins.
I'm just going to put the whole cookie in my mouth at once.
Output: OK. I'll be right here. I don't want to talk and I don't want to get in your way. I just want to hang out quietly.
Well, I'll admit that making love is trouble, but we somehow did it twice.
Output: It is a risk every time. It's one worth taking.
I'm pretty sure I've been by here before.
Output: Yeah, I think I might be lost. I mean, I've been here for three years.
People gossip, written down and sent to each other. Which is a terrible idea.
Output: It's actually a great system unless the mailman starts opening up the letters and reading them.
Well, I didn't know if it was a shotgun marriage that someone forced them into, like an arranged type of thing.
Output: Ketchups don't marry each other at all. Marry ketchups means mixing them together. Look what I'm doing here.
If we move back to Base One we'll be laughed at by the Base Ones and the base ones.
Output: Maybe initially, but maybe if more people like you live the way that they feel is natural to them - stood up for themselves - exited the storage pod, if you will, maybe people like me wouldn't feel so isolated and so alone.
It seemed like she wanted me to have her jacket.
Output: Right. If you have a nice jacket, you're basically advertising that it's a great jacket and you probably want it.
Like the famous series of books that I've been reading since childhood??
Output: We call 'em biographies.
Bruce, you don't seem the appropriate person to talk to about this, but I am so in love with Blythe Danner, I know not what to do.
Output: Ugh. You can take her. I don't need her anymore.
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
Output: No one was expecting you.
We heard that this hill has been condemned.
Output: Yeah, it's not zoned for multi-level structures.
Oh, do you see that airplane?
Output: That's the airplane that is coming to save us from the other hill people.
I'm getting exhausted. Playing 20 or 30 characters by myself is a lot.
Output: Well, it might help if you didn't smoke while you were performing.
Mr. Havingtrack, is this true? You're on a billboard?
Output: I'm afraid so, Mr. Dubinshield. I did used to have a career before I was in mega development.
Listen, Miles, I know you're conjuring otherworldly spirits, and I know you've got some kind of diabolical plan.  I don't think it's just a figment of my imagination.  I think it's a figment of your imagination, and I have to do something about it, even if it means taking an axe and fighting the temptation to live up to my father's reputation.
Output: Quadge, if you want to go to war, than I'm ready to go to war with you and you are not going to like the outcome because I will like the outcome because the outcome will be in my favor and not yours.  Do you follow me?
That's a - do you see what I see??
Output: That's a chicken right there. That's a talking chicken. That's supposed to be dead 'cause it's in cold storage.
Mom, you're so beautiful, but not in a weird way. Did you get younger? Geez, I was so busy at the bank, I didn't think to see how you were doing.
Output: That's my Ira. Ira, if I could give you breast milk right now, I would. I just love this child.
And, since we might be smoking you to death right now, is there anything you'd like us to tell the world about you. Or your siblings?
Output: I guess tell my siblings I know I was the problem, and now that I'm gone we can finally be a family. Minus me of course.
Listen, I know there's been a lot of carnage today in your gym. A lot of people died today, but it's just so America can be fit again.
Output: You can't go past this point without a membership. We can give you a guest membership for you to have a day pass.
So, you're going to pull from your life. I want to know what's happening. What do you think?
Output: I was mad because I wanted Captain Crunch and mom said it's bad for you.
Bernadette and I wanted to spank the shit out of each other.
Output: It's a real challenge to spank someone with an oven mitt, I'll tell you that much.
Michael and Michelle, you're the last things that came out of me and I love you for that.
Output: That's great. I feel like this highway is a dangerous place to be having this conversation though.
But it's the best place for my skill set.  
Output: Slopping together meats and cheeses? Get out of the house. I'm disowning you.
Rhonda, may I speak to you for a moment? Rhonda, do you love Jebodiah?
Output: You know me, I fall in love so quickly.
It was so fun how you could just go online and it wasn't a big deal. You were so smart about finding the information on officiating a wedding.
Output: You know, if I actually had filled out that certificate, it probably would have been a real marriage.
I'm just going to head to the bathroom. I'm not shitting. I'm just going over the the bathroom for 15 to 20 minutes.
Output: Did you know his biggest fear is being discovered in the bathroom?
Honestly, you gotta get a lock for your journal.
Output: I know, I know. But then, what if I lose the key - know what I mean?
Would you like to join my post apocolyptic game of cribbage? I'd like to recruit you. You seem like you have nimble fingers.
Output: Well, I am a chef. I have to be fast so I don't cut my fingers off.
Excuse me. My dish has ketchup on it and I didn't put ketchup on any of my food. Who is cleaning these dishes?
Output: Pardon me, ma'am. That's my fault. Let me take care of that for you.
What is your most popular ice cream flavor?
Output: Vanilla butter is a favorite. We take vanilla and butter and just mix them together.
What percentage is that, honey? Daddy taught you math.
Output: It's 33.3%. You thought I wasn't going to know that, didn't you?
We do farm medicine.
Output: Yes, we're very concerned with cows at the moment.
Wait a second, you're that Doris? You're the stadium organist?
Output: I had a poster of you on my wall. My mom's still got it.
Let's see, I have a coupon in here somewhere.
Output: You really have to hurry up, ma'am. The line is long.
Doris, do you want to go show me more terrible things you've made?
Output: Yes, I do. I took a can of soup and I tried to turn it into a swimming pool for dogs.
Would you like to see the Disney vault?
Output: Yes, it's like Christmas!
Hello, love, checking in?
Output: Yeah, is this the Classic London Hotel?
Well, I have no authority over you.?
Output: Nobody ever does, mom.
We have many lotions in our house, don't we Dad?
Output: Yes, we are royalty. We have the finest of lotions available everywhere.
I'm trying to talk to my colleague here. We work together on this corner.
Output: We will get out of your way as soon as we know where we're going.
So I just took a dump. It was full of fish.
Output: Why would that surprise you? You have been on a fish only diet since you went to Vietnam in the 70's.
I guess I'm going to get my laundry.
Output: Yeah, why don't you do that? I think I'm going to apply for a new job.
I feel like we have that focus in common.
Output: I guess we're not so different after all.
John, did you remember to ask people if you had teeth?
Output: Yes, I did. I constantly asked people if I had teeth. But, I couldn't hear their answer because I had shock deafness.
Quadge, if you want to go to war, than I'm ready to go to war with you and you are not going to like the outcome because I will like the outcome because the outcome will be in my favor and not yours.  Do you follow me?
Output: I do.  Then, I say we take it to the stage tonight in our opening performance of Hamlet and, in the big sword duel, we'll use axes; poison-tipped axes.
Okay, I think you're definitely insane and I think your dad is, too, but like, this is really interesting out of anything to do right now.  So, like, let's go get Miles.
Output: You mean, like, "get" get him?  Like just meet up with him or get him?
Just bare in mind that 10% of that Captain Crunch will go to your agent.
Output: They always take a little off the top at Fantastic Sams.
You don't understand what's cool and acceptable and what's not. Give me back my lip smacker.
Output: Yeah, and give me back my eyelashes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but there's a cockroach out there.
Output: Gary's out there?
What's my eel skin cane's handle made of? Ivory?
Output: Of course. We ripped it off an elephant this morning. Nothing but the best for CIA operatives.
So, I think that I shrunk us.
Output: Yeah, and yet we never really got to how that happened.
Yeah, of course you're here for the football game. Yeah, go ahead. I just need your ticket.
Output: I don't have one. I thought you could just, you know, let me in.
Yeah, the wave that pushed us in here took him. He was doomed from that moment on.
Output: Damn those rogue lake waves.
She was the one who set his hair on fire.
Output: I did. I set his hair on fire and then I let him walk out of my life. I let him stop, drop, and roll right out the door.
Do you believe in safety? I don't believe in it. So I'm not going to strap these port-o-potties down.
Output: My dad used to say "we're racing with the bulls" if we don't strap 'em down.
Well, why don't you make like a tree and leave?
Output: That was a pretty good one. I guess we still have some things in common, like our sense of humor.
She only brings her business body to work. Her personal body stays at home.
Output: Mmhm. I gotta separate the two. I got my party haircut. Business in the front, personal in the back. It has a secret message shave into it that only you can read if we're hang out, not on the clock.
OK, Sherry, you look terrific.
Output: I feel great.
I'm a robot and I express my love in binary.
Output: The robot is in love the the Queen of Numbers. I like that. It's an added twist.
Does this outfit look authentic?
Output: You look very civil warish. I wasn't there, but I think you look great.
Well, how much change is in the cup holder?
Output: I usually keep seventy five cents for emergencies.