Team America: World Police exists for the sole intention of stopping terrorists from performing evil deeds. With a home base located within the structure of Mount Rushmore, the team comprises Lisa, a young psychologist; Carson, Lisa's love interest; Sarah, an alleged psychic; Joe, a typical all-American jock who is in love with Sarah; and Chris, a technological and martial arts expert who harbors a deep yet mysterious mistrust of actors. The team is led by Spottswoode, a United States government agent, and the team's information is received by I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., a highly-advanced supercomputer.The story begins with the team interrupting the activities of a group of terrorists in Paris, France. During the ensuing gun-battle, the "Team" manages to lay waste to a good portion of the city, destroying the Eiffel Tower (which then collapses onto and destroys the Arc de Triomphe) and the Louvre among other structures. Following the action, Carson proposes to Lisa, but the moment is cut short when a surviving terrorist guns Carson down.In search of a new member, Spottswoode recruits Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor with college majors in Theater and World Languages. Gary is hired as a spy, utilizing his talents to infiltrate terrorist organizations. Unbeknownst to the team, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il is supplying international terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, planning a mysterious worldwide attack.I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. is informed of a terrorist meeting in Cairo, Egypt, and Gary successfully infiltrates their group; during this time, both Lisa and Sarah become romantically attracted to him. Chris, however, hates Gary, solely because of his resentment toward actors.Gary is sent in undercover; despite the fact that his disguise is extremely poor, he successfully gains the trust of a terrorist lieutenant. The team attempts to capture the terrorists, and although Team America successfully foils the terrorist plan, their actions again leave most of the city in ruins. The group is criticized by the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.), a union of liberal Hollywood actors. The group includes Gary's favorite actor, Alec Baldwin, and his heavy criticism is very discouraging to Gary. Meanwhile, the United Nations assign Hans Blix with the task of inspecting Kim Jong-il's lair, but the investigator is killed by Kim Jong-il's man-eating sharks. As the team relaxes following their victory, Gary expresses his guilt to Lisa, remembering a time where his acting talent caused his brother to be killed by gorillas. As the two express their feelings and have sex (after Gary promises that he'll never die), a group of terrorists blow up the Panama Canal.The Film Actors Guild blames Team America, believing that they (rather than the terrorists or the person who supplied them with WMDs) are responsible for the terrorists' actions. Gary, realizing his acting talents have once again resulted in tragedy, abandons the team, causing considerable conflict among the remaining members. Believing the terrorists to be operating within Derkaderkastan, the original members depart, only to be attacked and captured by terrorists and the North Koreans respectively. Meanwhile, Michael Moore infiltrates the team's base and destroys their equipment by suicide bombing the area. Kim Jong-il, upset with the terrorists' actions, expresses his frustration and despair (by singing "I'm So Ronery").Meanwhile, a very depressed Gary becomes an alcoholic, only to be reminded of his responsibility by a drunken drifter, who compares the world's three dominant personalities to "dicks", "pussies", and "assholes" respectively. Gary then vomits repeatedly for 56 seconds running time.In North Korea, Kim Jong-il reveals his plan to host an elaborate peace ceremony, inviting not only the Film Actors Guild but also the world's political leaders. Alec is chosen as the ceremony's host. During the celebration, a series of bombs will be detonated throughout the world, reducing every nation to a Third World country. Gary returns to Mount Rushmore and finds the area in ruin, although Spottswoode and I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E have survived. After regaining Spottswoode's trust by performing oral sex on him, and undergoing a one-day training course (deliberately shown in a cliché montage for comic effect), Gary is sent to North Korea.Gary proceeds to infiltrate the lair and frees the team. They are confronted by the Film Actors Guild and a violent battle ensues, leaving most of the Guild brutally slain, with Alec being the remaining member as he is the host of the ceremony. Soon after, Chris confesses to Gary that his mistrust of actors is due to the fact that when he was 19 years old, meeting the cast of Cats, he was "felt up" by Rumpus Cat and Macavity, held down by Rumpleteazer, and raped by Mr. Mistoffelees. The team then confront Kim Jong-il. Although initially unsuccessful, Gary convinces the world's leaders to unite when he recites the drifter's emotional speech, stunning Alec. Kim Jong-il then kills Alec with a submachine gun, but is defeated by Lisa by being impaled on a Pickelhaube, as worn by the German Kaiser; and he is then revealed to be an alien cockroach from another planet named Gyron. Kim Jong-il flees, departing in a miniature spaceship, but promising to return. As Gary and Lisa begin a relationship, the team reunites, preparing to combat the remainder of the world's terrorists.
Output: Question: Who does Spottswoode recruit for a replacement?, Answer: Gary Johnston