niryuu/sni-each-converted huggingface dataset:
young einstein is embarrassingly lame , but that did n't stop it from becoming a phenomenon in australia , where it became the third largest box office hit of all time .
in the u . s .
, warner brothers is hoping the movie will follow in the footsteps of paul hogan , inxs , and shrimp on the barby to become the latest rage from down under .
personally , i 'm hoping americans everywhere will rise to the occasion and make young einstein a box office bomb .
young einstein sprang from the twisted mind of yahoo serious , who not only wrote , produced , edited , and directed the film , but also starred and did his own stunts .
his creation is about as stupid and contrived as you 'd expect from someone named yahoo .
the movie takes substantial historical liberties in recreating einstein 's youth .
whereas the scientist actually hailed from germany , the film finds him still living with his parents on tasmania , a remote australian island .
in addition to deriving the formula for energy and the theory of relativity , albert invents surfing , bubbles in beer , and the electric guitar .
yahoo plays einstein as a naive and unrefined country hick -- a clown with an insatiable curiosity .
although yahoo 's performance is at first endearing ,
the one - dimensional characterization loses its novelty faster than you can say e
= mc2 .
yahoo has created a charming family for albert , and the scenes on tasmania are often clever .
but after the first twenty minutes , the movie quickly plummets and degenerates into a poor excuse for a comedy .
young einstein is hampered by its lethargic pace and inane plot .
yahoo must be an mtv addict because his movie features an omnipresent soundtrack ; unfortunately ,
the music is altogether gratuitous and quickly becomes overbearing .
almost every other scene includes a blaring rock song that leaves you wondering whether you are watching a movie or a music video .
the instrumental score , on the other hand , is generally playful ; yahoo uses such classics as the " 1812 overture " and the theme from the good , the bad and the ugly to great comic effect .
halfway through young einstein , i knew for sure the movie was a stinker .
but it was n't until the very end that i finally put my finger on why
: the comedy takes its roots not from whimsical film fantasies ( such as young sherlock holmes ) but from cheesy prime - time sitcoms .
in fact , young einstein might have been more at home on network television , where its sophomoric humor would n't raise any eyebrows .
Output: N
this is the last carry on film with its almost intact regular cast and it is the swansong of hattie jacques and sid james .
dick turpin ( sid james ) and his gang which includes harriett / harry ( barbara windsor ) and tom " doc " scholl ( peter butterworth ) , terrorise the countryside by staging highway robberies : " stand and deliver !
"
owing to the increased occurrence of turpin 's robberies , captain desmond fancey of the bow street runners ( kenneth williams ) and his sidekick sergeant jock strapp ( jack douglas ) visit turpin 's area of influence to bring him to justice .
they are under the express orders of sir roger daley ( bernard bresslaw ) .
their intellect does not count for much and when they increasingly become suspicious of reverend flasher aka dick turpin ( sid james ) , whom they confided in earlier , they still can not believe that the rector has any part in these robberies .
however , once they catch harriett and put her in jail , and sir roger daley takes complete charge , it seems that there is no hope for dick turpin .
then again , sir roger has assigned the dimwits fancey and jock strapp aswell as the old dithering constable ( kenneth connor ) to keep an eye on their prisoner !
there is no doubt that this is a ' sid james ' carry on movie .
he excels in double roles ( as in ' carry on- do n't lose your head ' ) and his performance as flasher and turpin is hilarious .
barbara windsor is also funny as harriett the sex mad housemaid and member of the gang , and hattie jacques ' small but effective role as the rector 's housekeeper martha hoggett is played to perfection .
jack douglas plays a milder version of his excruciatingly annoying on - screen persona and kenneth williams is given a rather mundane part .
peter butterworth is not allowed to shine in his boring performance as tom , and bernard bresslaw 's character appears only briefly in the film .
the only notable performance from the support cast comes from joan sims as madame desiree , who is travelling around the country escorting her starlets the ' birds of paradise ' and sporting a fake french accent .
when her girls and her are robbed by turpin , she is determined to catch him and helps the reverend to find the culprit !
a carry on by the numbers , this movie is only notable for the great performance by sid james in his last carry on movie .
the jokes are bluer , the script is poorer
( it is the last script written by talbot rothwell ) , but the music is a marked improvement .
although nearly all the regulars appear , they seem to be just going through the motions .
none of the high spirits of the earlier films are apparent here .
just a selection of crude jokes and repititive double - entendres .
Output: N
susan granger 's review of " america 's sweethearts " ( columbia / sony ) what a waste of a talented cast !
billy crystal and co - writer peter tolan have concocted a sly , provocative premise and , as the opening credits roll , it 's obvious that they 're attempting an old - fashioned romantic comedy .
the story involves a veteran publicist ( billy crystal ) who is summoned to orchestrate a press junket in las vegas when an arrogant director ( christopher walken ) holds a megabuck movie hostage in his editing room , refusing to show it to anyone .
he figures that by giving the journalists juicy hints of a possible reconciliation between the film 's once - married - but - now - estranged stars , gwen and eddie ( catherine zeta - jones , john cusack ) , they 'll be so distracted that they wo n't remember they did n't see the movie or
it was n't what they expected .
( and crystal thought of this long before a sony exec concocted the phony critic / david manning quote scandal ! )
for help , he turns to gwen 's personal assistant / sister ( julia roberts ) .
but the laughs are few and far - between .
crystal 's glib , cynical flack is n't wickedly funny enough with a few amusing one - liners .
after six months under the care of a depak chopra - like guru ( alan arkin ) , cusack 's character 's too emotionally fragile , lacking the necessary charisma .
zeta - jones 's vain , narcissistic diva is undeveloped and one - dimensional .
only hank azaria , as zeta - jones 's much - macho spanish lover , and stanley tucci , as a studio exec , and roberts manage to whip up any farcical froth .
basically , we do n't like these ego - driven , stereotypical characters , let alone root for them to unwind their romantic entanglements , and joe roth 's direction is predictable , formulaic and telegraphic
.
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " america 's sweethearts " is
a contrived , shallow 4 . as a screwball satire , it 's strictly superficial .
Output: N
susan granger 's review of " jeepers creepers " ( mgm / ua entertainment ) this nasty , little horror film begins as a bickering brother ( justin long ) and sister ( gina philips ) are driving through the desolate countryside on their way home from college and spy a man dropping wrapped - up bodies down a drainage pipe .
when long decides to investigate , there 's nothing but trouble .
"
you know the part in scary movies where somebody does something really stupid and everybody hates them for it ? -
well , this is it !
" philips warns .
what he finds in the basement of an old , abandoned church is a dying boy with a horrifying , jagged - stitched incision from his neck to his navel , plus hundreds of other mutilated bodies , stitched together on the walls and ceiling like a disgusting tapestry .
long flees but now the monstrous , winged creeper ( jonathan breck ) is after both of them !
eileen brennan appears briefly as the cat lady and patricia belcher is jezelle , a psychic who explains the evil creature 's bizarre feeding habits .
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " jeepers creepers " is a
fiendishly visceral 2 with an extraordinarily gruesome conclusion , giving new meaning to the old song " jeepers creepers .
" and now - as paul harvey would say - for the rest of the story .
what 's more scary than the cruelty of the satanic film itself is the fact that writer / director victor salva is a convicted child molester who videotaped himself having oral sex with a 12 year - old actor in california .
sentenced to three years in prison , he served 15 months and completed parole in 1992 .
when salva made " powder " ( 1995 ) , the story of an albino boy with supernatural abilities , disney studio executives claimed that they did not know about his prior conviction as a pedophile .
and now , once again , in this mgm / ua film , that fact is conspicuously absent from his press kit bio .
Output: N
come on hollywood , surprise me . stop giving us these poorly written thrillers with banal dialogue , sketchy characters and plots as predictable as the sunset .
the always watchable morgan freeman plays a detective who becomes personally involved in a case involving missing girls .
personal , because his niece is one of the victims .
it 's a slobbering psychopath , of course , but this time there 's a twist .
freeman notes that each of the young women who 've disappeared are all strong willed , assertive , and more successful in their careers than the average girl .
we soon learn that the guy calls himself casanova , whose aim is to " dominate " these modern gals by imprisoning them in some dungeon and keeping them as his personal harem .
anyway , one of the women manages to escape ( ashly judd ) and teams up with freeman to . . .
well , you know the rest .
a brief glance at the plot to silence of the lambs , with which this film is constantly being compared to by the hype merchants , may suggest lambs also has a fairly predictable story .
perhaps , but that film also has superbly drawn characters and smart dialogue .
so lets not insult a great movie by taking the comparisons any further ,
okay ?
and as for comparisons to seven . . .
oh please ! kiss the girls is based on the novel by james patterson and written for the screen by one david klass .
maybe the novel was a stinker to start with , but
whatever the case , it 's the writing that 's clearly at fault here .
one , these characters have very little to say that 's engaging or interesting .
two , the script has no sense of humour .
three ,
while the notion of a psycho 's victims being smart , successful women is an interesting twist , the execution is n't even half as good as the idea .
thus , ashly judd comes across all out of focus , instead of being the heart of the story .
we ca n't feel her rage .
some atrociously written casual exchanges between her and several male characters are supposed to remind us that she 's the no - bullshit 90 's type , but these conversations barely register .
and as for freeman , kiss the girls is his second dog in a year : first chain reaction , now this .
for an actor of his calibre , this is most worrying .
young director gary fleder scored a hit a few years back with his quirky pulp fiction - esque things to do in denver when your dead .
but what can he do with material as resolutely mediocre as this ?
not much , and you can hardly blame him .
there 's a few well - staged chase scenes through the forest where the camera whirls , dives and jumps , and the effect is startling .
but the script is beyond rescue .
what hurts most is that hollywood continues to get away with serving up this tripe , safe in the knowledge that jaded audiences will lap it up .
complacency rules
: it 's been so long since we saw a mainstream american thriller that delivered juicy characters , real surprises and consistently sharp dialogue .
the only consolation for this viewer is that my ticket to the movie was a freebie , positive proof that the best things in life are n't free . . . . .
Output: N
i wish i could accurately describe the theme music for part 3 .
the best way i can put it is that it 's funky .
i know this is an odd question , but remember the opening music of " police academy 4 : citizens on patrol " , when steve guttenberg and michael winslow perform the title song " citizens on patrol " during the opening credits ?
it 's just like that .
anyway , part 3 takes place a day after the events of part 2 ( so technically still 1985 ) .
this time , a group of horny teens ( who also bring along two aging hippie potheads for some reason ) head up to a cabin on crystal lake for a weekend of sex and weed .
it turns out that one of the teens had been attacked by jason earlier in her life ( which must have been between parts 1 and 2 ) so why she has returned to crystal lake one day after a new batch of murders is beyond me
.
she 's the lone survivor this time .
part 3 was originally shown in theaters in 3-d , and from what i can tell from the video , it looks as though they may have been fairly decent effects .
jason had long , wild hair when he was unmasked in part 2 .
now , one day later he 's completely bald .
also , it being one day later
, it ca n't be friday the 13th now can it ?
oh well .
steve miner is the only director who helmed more than one film in the series .
[ r ]
Output: N
synopsis : sonny koufax ( adam sandler )
is a rich , childish , angry man who has just been dumped by his girlfriend vanessa ( kristy swanson ) .
in a bid to impress vanessa sonny impersonates his friend kevin ( jon stewart ) and adopts a 5 year old boy named julian ( cole and dylan sprouse ) while kevin is on an overseas trip .
under sonny 's supervision julian soon learns to lie to women , tell people how he " wipes his ass , " throw tantrums , and scream for his " god damned " treats .
self centered , julian breaks a school classmate 's arm without apologizing or even realizing he has done anything wrong .
meanwhile sonny bribes julian with sugary talk , food , toys , and flashy promises in order to get the kid to perform .
not surprisingly the government takes julian away from sonny 's incompetent supervision , and this leads to a custody battle .
opinion : it 's a movie about an embittered creep teaching a little kid to be a jerk , and we all get cheap laughs
because for 90 minutes the innocent kindergartner never finds out what it means when he mimics all the bad boy behavior .
that 's the essence of big daddy .
but there 's a bigger issue
involved :
marketing .
movies that are rated pg and pg-13 are heavily marketed towards children of preteen age and below .
on tv , film clips advertise these movies as family - friendly hit comedies .
then when you go see them they turn out to be either raunchy sex acts like austin powers with characters named fat bastard - - or big daddy where adult characters get their jollies by buddying up to naive five year olds and encouraging them to experiment with drugs and mistreatment .
folks in hollywood are trying to develop a preteen market for raunchy stuff , but i think most american parents would agree that early childhood is a time of mental innocence that should be protected from uncaring media market exploitation .
to many american mothers
there 's probably nothing more pathetic and unsettling than the sight of a theater full of unsupervised little eight year olds laughing raucously as movie character father adam sandler jokes about a woman 's " ice cold tits . "
Output: N
the second serial - killer thriller of the month is just awful .
oh , it starts deceptively okay , with a handful of intriguing characters and some solid location work .
after a baby - sitter gets gutted in the suit- ably spooky someone's - in - the - house prologue , parallel stories unfold , the first involving a texas sheriff ( r . lee emery ) , a gruesome double murder , and the arrival of a morose fbi agent ( dennis quaid ) on the eve of voting for the local lawman 's reelection .
the second pairs a hitch- hiker ( jared leto ) with a friendly former railroad worker ( danny glover ) .
they 're headed west , toward the rockies and away from the murder scene .
which one is the killer ?
well , it does n't really matter , 'cause when writer / first - time director jeb stuart ( die hard ) finally spills the beans , you wo n't take his choice seriously anyway .
the whole thing goes south about an hour in , with the tale taking hairpin turns that i certainly could n't follow
.
and through the whole thing there 's quaid , playing with the most intense monotony this side of steven sea- gal .
i guess i 'm glad that i did n't walk out--
there 's some nice train stuff at the end and a fun nod to dr .
strangelove .
Output: N
this is my first review that i post to this newsgroup , and i kind of feel like i have to say something negative about this film .
no one else seems to care that it takes certain liberties that should not be taken with a historical story .
however , even if one thinks of it as fiction , " the prince of egypt " remains shallow .
but i 'll begin from the beginning .
the biggest difference between the original , biblical story and this version is that moses has some semblance of divinity in the bible , whereas the animated version gives the impression of a reluctant hero .
maybe it 's just me , but
if i knew i had god on my side , i 'd have a little bit more confidence .
there are other differences as well , such as a lack of important female characters and the passing over of the original pharoah 's death like it 's nothing but a thing .
most of all , though , the story 's focus has shifted . rather than being a story about father - son , man - ethnicity , man - god , " the prince of egypt " is almost solely about the brother - brother relationship between rameses and moses .
i was originally excited about this story element until i saw the movie , where it came off as maudlin .
rameses and moses squabble like children and then , in the interests of peace , moses saves rameses ' butt , even though moses was the one who started it . . .
* yawn
*
i did n't care anymore
by the time moses ran off for murdering an overseer ( which , of course , never happened in the original story - moses was exiled ) .
but enough about the differences .
let 's talk about the movie itself .
it features a moses who , in the interests of making the character more human , lacks any divinity whatsoever , which is n't convincing at all to anyone who knows who god is .
it features a cookie - cutter " i - wanna - please - dada " rameses , who at least is given dignity by the voicework of ralph fiennes ( from schindler 's list , among other things ) .
the film also features an extremely annoying character by way of the " new - improved " miriam , voiced by the ever - antsy sandra bullock , even though the most irritating thing about her is her tendency to burst into song for no apparent reason ( here bullock is replaced by a singing voice ) .
speaking of which , it contains * very * annoying music .
it contains shallow writing .
it features extraordinary animation , which is one good thing i can say about this film .
most of all , it contains an attempt to commercialize , homogenize , and mass - market a story about a manifestation of god .
i am not christian , but i got the impression of blasphemy .
the writers and producers took a butcher knife and chop - chopped into the story .
Output: N
tim robbins and martin lawernce team up in this road movie comedy .
robbins plays an exec who discovers his wife having sex with his boss .
he goes into depression , and drives around his neighbourhood until he arrives inside the usual ' ghetto ' side of every american city .
there , lawernce attempts to steal his car , but to no avail , and is dragged along with robbin 's on a trip to arizona .
there , they hold up a store , are mistaken for two other robbers ( just like in my cousin vinny ) and are chased by the police , and the other robbers .
of course , there 's gags along the way , usually from lawernce .
although the film is midly funny , and quite watchable , there 's something so horribly familiar about it all .
this film should really be called beverly hills midnight run there 's lawernce with his wisecracking and heavy profanity , just like eddie murphy in beverly hills cop , and pratically the same idea as midnight run .
it 's full of all the road movie cliches , and even has a ' comedy ' car chase , which just seemed so eighties .
even the credit sequence seemed to be out of a steve martin , or chevy chase , eighties comedy .
there also is n't much chemistry between robbins and lawernce .
in planes , trains and automobiles , there was real chemistry between steve martin and john candy .
in nothing to lose , there is hardly chemistry at all .
towards the end the chemistry seems to work , but for the bulk of the film , there is hardly any , the director directs the film in a workman like fashion , but gets the jokes across .
and although there is no chemistry between the two leads , they give good performances on their own .
lawerence gives a good eddie murphy performance , and robbin 's is alright aswell .
however , robbin 's performance is nowhere near as good
as the characters he played in jacob 's ladder , and the player .
in fact , if you want to see robbin 's do comedy much better than in nothing to lose , i suggest you rent out the hudsucker proxy , where he is much funnier .
nothing to lose does have some funny moments in it , however .
the humour is n't particulary sophisticated , but if you enojyed dumb & dumber , you might enjoy this .
the characters in arizona are funny , and there 's also a good scene where robbin 's asks a shopkeeper which ' threatening approach ' was better , lawerences ( which consisted of lawerence threatening to shoot the shopkeeper 's ass , and swearing a lot ) , or himselfs , ( which was speaking in a deep , scary voice ) but
the gags are predictable , the lack of chemistry infurating , and the ending too far - fetched and ' perfect ' nothing to lose then , is robbin 's first ' bad ' movie ( and hopefully his last ) , and suggests that odereick should twice before making another film .
he nearly ruined carrey 's career with ace ventura : when nature calls , let 's hope he has n't ruined robbin 's ( or even lawerence 's ) with nothing to lose .
Output: N
in " the astronaut 's wife , " charlize theron plays a young woman with a nervous demeanor , pixie - hairdo and demon spawn unwittingly growing in her belly .
if only her name was n't jillian , the makers of this embarrassing bit of sci - fi shlock could have come up with a far more appropriate title : " rosemary 's species .
" what a shame it is to see such a gifted actress as theron - oscar - worthy in " the devil 's advocate " - struggle with the lamest rip - off of a screendom classic in recent memory .
ok , maybe " the astronaut 's wife " deviates from " rosemary 's baby " turf for its set - up , which finds our heroine terrorized not by satan 's minions but her possessed husband ( johnny depp ) , a shuttle pilot whose mission mishap leaves him , um , a changed man .
predictably , he and the missus get it on in a sequence best described as unpleasant , his evil seed impregnating her with twins and realizing that great " bowfinger " line about " alien love .
"
theron 's " advocate " character faced a similar dilemma , the horror there resonating strongly .
" astronaut " provides only artificial anxiety .
last year 's equally noodle - headed " species ii " spun a similar premise about the breeding habits of an extraterrestrial on earth , but at least that movie more or less knew it was garbage .
"
the astronaut 's wife " is grave and humor - free , passing its increasingly silly story off as full - fledged serious , right down to an ambiguous finale that is n't even going to satisfy those who 've stayed with it thus far .
here 's a hint : it involves lots of water , electrical equipment , a special effect from " the abyss " and the tots who doubled up as adam sandler 's co - star in " big daddy .
" draw your own conclusions .
director / writer rand ravich coats the proceedings in dynamic sights masterminded by legendary " e . t .
"
cinematographer allen daviau , but too often favors the film 's visual presentation over the story he 's trying to tell .
this bodes horribly for each dramatic development , like the surfacing of a suspicious nasa official ( " speed " 's joe morton ) to instigate jill 's slow and stupid comprehension of the truth .
his hyper - erratic behavior is probably supposed to give wife a paranoid edge . instead , he adds to the phoniness .
theron and depp are certainly beyond this junk and will get other chances to prove themselves this fall - she as part of an imposing ensemble case in the john irving adaptation " cider house rules
, " he in the lead of tim burton 's eagerly - awaited " sleepy hollow .
" undeserving of such talent , " the astronaut 's wife " manages to be derivative , dull and uninvolving despite its seemingly ripe potential for unintentional laughs .
in space , no one can hear you scream .
but in a movie theatre , everyone can hear you snore .
Output: N
for a good ten years or so , super cool chow yun fat has enjoyed god hood status in the hong kong action scene .
now , he has followed in the footsteps of director john woo , ( who launched chow 's super stardom in the acclaimed ' a better tomorrow ' ) by moving to hollywood .
i had some reservations about this move and it would seem i was right to have them .
chow plays a hitman who is doing jobs in order to repay a debt .
his final job requires him to kill a policeman 's seven year old boy .
this he refuses do and runs .
however , he is forced into a violent confrontation when his family are threatned and replacement killers are brought in to do the job .
cue around 80 minutes of various and quite frankly tedious shoot- outs which take place in various locations .
some thought had gone into making them a bit different but
unfortunately they end up being just plain boring .
the car wash scene
, i found myself laughing at how stupid it looked .
tut tut .
the emphasis during the constant action seemed to be on the accompanying music ,
( i could have sworn one piece was ripped out of a bruckheimer movie ) and not on the content .
mia sorvino ( a passport forger ) is dragged into the affay and also provides a lame love interest as well as being rather handy with a gun .
director antoine arqua has clearly not observed chow 's excellent acting capabilties and simply requires him to mutter a few lines of broken english and look flash as he stands and shoots .
chow 's trademark of twin pistol shooting is saved for the finale ( which in fairness is quite good ) and there 's not even a toothpick in site .
and as for making chow shoot like a cop , well that 's damned unforgiveable . to round up , the replacement killers is a pretty darned lame first outing for chow .
it would appear he has left asia for a 90 minute pop video .
this is not what we wanted at all , considering john woo was the exec producer .
( did he have no say so at all ?
) watch ' the killer ' again and weep at the difference .
review by chris hill .
"
there 's room at the top , they are telling you still , but first you must learn how to smile as you kill , if you want to be like the folks on the hill . "
Output: N
libby parsons ( ashley judd ) has the perfect little life -- a rich husband , a cute son , and a house on the ocean -- but when her husband nick ( bruce greenwood ) takes her sailing , she awakes to find him gone and her hands covered with blood .
just as she makes it to the deck and picks up the bloody knife lying there , the coast guard arrives in response to a distress call her vanished husband sent .
she 's convicted of his murder , of course , and leaves her son matty ( benjamin weir ) with her best friend ( annabeth gish ) .
time passes , and the friend disappears with matty .
during their last phone conversation libby hears matty yell " daddy ! " and realizes that her husband is still alive .
libby serves six years , growing harder and driven by the desire to kill nick ( based on the theory that because of the " double jeopardy " amendment she can off him with impunity ) .
when she gets parole , she 's sent to a halfway house run by travis lehman ( tommy lee jones ) , a former law professor who ruined his life with a drunk driving accident .
after a little breaking and entering and some destruction of property , libby jumps parole and lams it across the country looking for nick and matty .
travis pursues , naturally .
" double jeopardy " is a watered - down version of " the fugitive , " with jones sleep - walking through his well - worn pursuer persona .
although libby never leaps from a bus that collides with a train , she manages to get into a few nail - biters -- chased down the beach by a jeep , chained to a car that plunges into the ocean , sealed in a coffin -- that add some much needed thrills to an anemic , slow - moving script .
character development is thin .
travis ' intriguing backstory is mentioned a couple times but
has no effect on the story .
( i think they only made him a former law professor so that he could verify the double - jeopardy theory when libby gets the drop on nick .
it 's a long way to go for one line ) .
there 's considerable sexual tension between travis and libby ( hey , there 's something " the fugitive " did n't have ! ) , but it never goes anywhere .
libby is a tv - movie everywoman , but judd 's intense performance draws us in and makes us forget that her character has no distinguishing characteristics .
this is judd 's most prominent role to date , and she proves that she can light up the screen .
let 's hope hollywood gives her more to work with next time around .
the quality of director bruce beresford 's movies seems to depend on luck .
when he has a good script and a strong cast , he turns out oscar - caliber work like " ' breaker ' morant , " " driving miss daisy , " and " tender mercies .
"
when he does n't .
. .
we get " double jeopardy .
"
screenwriters david weisberg and douglas cook previously collaborated on " the rock , " a script which probably benefited from the numerous uncredited rewrites .
bottom line :
ashley judd tries hard but ca n't save this predictable bore .
Output: N
as far as " mystery men " is concerned , the burning question is less
" is it really as bad as it looks from the trailer ?
" ( the answer there is an unequivocal " yes " ) and more " how in the name of sweet jesus did first - time director kinka usher get such a first - rate cast to act
in this muck ?
"
" mystery men " features greg kinnear as the heavily - sponsored captain amazing and geoffrey rush as his arch nemesis ( singular ) casanova frankenstein .
a veritable police lineup of hot hollywood talent plays the superhero wannabes of the title , who join forces to get
c .
amazing out of a tight spot when c . frankenstein puts the screws on champion city .
there 's william h .
macy as the mild - mannered shoveler , hank azaria as the cutlery - flinging blue raja ( no knives , but a phony english accent that 's just as sharp ) , ben stiller as mr .
furious ( whose only power seems to be his ability to get hot under the collar ) , janeane garofalo as a crazed bowler with
her father 's skull interestingly preserved , wes studi as a rhetoric - spouting cowled avenger , and kel mitchell as the token ( and , adding insult to injury , invisible ! )
black guy .
bringing up the rear , so to speak , is paul reubens ( yes , that 's pee wee herman paul reubens ) as . . .
well , let 's just call him the gas man .
the production design is overblown , the special effects are overdone , and the script ( based on bob burden 's " dark horse " comic book series ) is overbaked .
the appealing actors are uniformly good and stiller is even stellar , but they ca n't begin to save
" mystery men
" --it 's just one big mess .
you 're better off renting the video and pressing fast - forward to get to the funny bits .
i believe i counted three .
Output: N
" american pie " alums jason biggs and mena suvari star in this summer 's attempt to capitalize on the youth market looking for a comedy about young people they can relate to that combines generic hollywood cute couple - ness and zany comedy .
it 's about an a+ student ( biggs as " paul " ) who gets a scholarship to some college in new york city who sticks out like a sore thumb and falls for dora ( suvari ) a ditzy heroin - chic goth chick who has no ambition or self - respect whatsoever and allows herself to be pushed around just like " hick - boy " paul is .
so we 've got a fish - out - water formula mixed with meet - cute romantic comedy which ideally should make for a good movie .
unfortunately the atrocious screenplay and boring direction by " clueless " auteur amy heckerling successfully manages to screw up everything about the film .
these characters are totally unrealistic and unbelievable
- it 's as if everyone under age 30 is a stoned raver .
there 's no background or details to anyone or anything , it 's just a bunch of cartoon characters running into each other
.
not to mention the story itself which is virtually non - existant and contains so many plotholes
it 's like swiss cheese .
even the basic editing is bad .
if you 're looking for a romantic comedy stay far away from this one because it is neither romantic nor funny .
i saw this in a packed cinema on opening night and the audience barely laughed at all .
if you 've seen the commericials you 've seen all the " funny " parts ( which are all from the first five minutes ) .
Output: N
synopsis :
an aging master art thief , his supplier , and a young , buxom security consultant are all not who they first appear to be ( or are they ? ) in this convoluted mess involving a risky heist during the millennium .
comments :
this movie was boring .
plain and simple .
entrapment should not have been boring .
it stars sean connery , who can still carry an action film despite his age , catherine zeta - jones , a likeable enough film presence , and ving rhames , ultra - cool star of pulp fiction and mission : impossible .
it takes full advantage of the y2k computer bug fears ( a current " hot topic " in the news ) in its storyline , which is set at the end of 1999 .
it has some genuinely well - staged action sequences .
so , what went wrong ?
plenty , unfortunately .
the major problem with entrapment is its script .
it has a been - there , done - that feel to it .
nothing seems particularly inventive or original , so the whole movie lacks suspense and drags
( it runs nearly two hours ) .
the screenwriters , for example , periodically use a countdown to the millennium as a means of transition between scenes ( i .
e .
"
4 days to the millennium " ) .
this device was used much more effectively in the overlooked sci - fi film strange days .
the characters are not who they appear to be at the beginning , which is neat at first but the device wears thin once the umpteenth " surprise " revelation is made . entrapment , in other words , relies too heavily on the audience not knowing what each character 's true motive is , resulting in a convoluted story which leaves many scratching their heads in confusion .
the star power here is quite strong , but the viewer ca n't help but feel the actors are wasted in this production .
sean connery is given such mind - numbing lines as
" never trust a naked woman . " ving rhames ' character seems like an afterthought ; he 's not developed at all .
the camera zooms in frequently and leeringly at catherine zeta - jones 's tight wardrobe .
this , in and of itself , is not bad , but , after a while ,
it has a juvenile feel to it .
at least the species movies hold no bones about the fact that they 're exploiting the female body .
entrapment does the same under the thin disguise of plot development
( sean connery supposedly falls in love with the girl while watching her , in tights , arc and pivot around laser beams ) .
the tagline for this movie reads " the trap is set .
" it sure is , on those who spent money to see this movie .
entrapment really is n't that bad ; it is watchable .
i would suggest , however , one waits until this is on cable or television to see it .
Output: N
plot : token director alan smithee steals the only copy of his film " trio " from the studio , after they complete the " final cut " without him .
he threatens to burn the film reel if they do not allow him to keep his vision .
critique : wow .
i really ca n't remember the last time a movie sucked on so many levels ! the " comedy " in this film is pathetic , obvious and dated ( oj simpson jokes galore ) .
the plot is uninteresting , boring and bad .
the structure of the film is annoying , repetitive and pretentious .
the acting is pretty bad , especially jackie chan , who ca n't act to save his life .
the cameos are lame and seem forced , and the ending blows chunks .
all in all , this movie believes itself to be a clever , humorous and edgy look behind the closed doors of hollywood , but comes across as a boring , stupid and completely unentertaining piece of shite .
i love to see movies about hollywood shenanigans , but this one bites the big one
. see it if you like to watch really bad movies , otherwise skip it , because it will just have you hating every star that makes an appearance in it
.
luckily for us all
, this mess only lasts about 80 minutes , and miramax honcho harvey weinstein plays a lead - faced detective .
by the way , is there any reason why the studio or the producer could n't have cut another version of the film by the way of all the filmed stock that was left over ? who knows , who cares , this " satire " sucks the bag .
little known facts about this film and its stars
: ironically , the original director of this film , arthur hiller , also requested his name be taken off the credits and replaced by the dga 's alan smithee moniker .
this was after the film 's production company , cinergi pictures , preferred the cut made by producer / writer joe eszterhas to his .
the original script of this film included arnold schwarzenegger and bruce willis .
eszterhas announced through the media during post - production that cinergi pictures did n't have the money to pay for soundtrack .
he said that he would finance the soundtrack from his own money and asked to submit tracks for it to him .
he received 9 , 200 cds and cassettes from mostly unknown and unsigned artists , listened to all that was sent ( at least a couple of tracks from each record ) and compiled the soundtrack .
this film practically swept the " razzie awards " in 1999 , given out to the worst of all movie categories of the year , with no less than the " worst picture " award , the " worst screenplay "
( joe eszterhas ) , the " worst supporting actor " ( joe eszterhas ) , the " worst new star
" ( joe eszterhas tied with jerry springer ) and the " worst original song
" ( " i wanna be mike ovitz !
" as written by joe eszterhas ) .
Output: N
it 's amazing how a comedian can have the some of the funniest stand - up around but completely fall flat in the movies
.
take adam sandler .
on the basis of his first two cds ( " they 're all gon na laugh at you !
"
and " what the hell happened to me ? " ) , he 's the best thing to hit comedy since robin williams .
but when you put him in front of a camera , it just is n't the same .
i kind of enjoyed happy gilmore and thought that it warranted a marginal recommendation , but his latest film , the waterboy is about as funny as a root canal .
seriously , i 'm willing to wager than there were more laughs in saving private ryan than there are here .
in fact , i found this movie to be more depressing than comedic .
the first half hour generated not one smile in me , with it 's scenes of emotional abuse towards adam 's character of bobby boucher not only by the cruel football players , but also by his very disturbed mother ( kathy bates - what is the world coming to ? ) .
granted , after the film gets rolling , there are a few mild chuckles throughout
( i 'm even willing to admit that it actually had me laughing once or twice ) , but not nearly enough to sustain
the waterboy for it 's nearly hour and a half running time .
you 're all familiar with the plot because you 've seen it at least a million times before ; everyone picks on the hero until he shows a hidden talent and leads the underdog team to victory over the champions , in the process not only winning the respect of his teammates but also getting the woman he loves . and believe me , i 'm not giving anything away by saying that sandler 's team wins .
if you would actually feel any degree of suspense watching this movie , then god be with you .
the only things that keep this bomb from getting the big banana are the winning performances from henry winkler as the insecure coach and the severely underrated fairuza balk as bobby 's love interest .
i mean , they should be lending their talents to some loftier purpose , but they do extremely well with what they are given here .
kudos to both of them .
my advice to adam is to try and follow in the footsteps of veteran comedians like williams and steve martin , who made a very smooth and successful transition from stage to screen .
rely more on actual comedy rather than strange voices and rude noises to make people laugh .
or maybe even show what dramatic talent he might have , like jim carrey did with the recent truman show .
with the obvious and considerable talent that he possesses , he just ca n't keep going on like this .
Output: N
at times , you 'd think edtv would be an entertaining film .
i mean , who can resist the story of your average joe becomming a celebrity by having his life filmed every minute of every day ?
but this average joe , ed perkuny , ( matthew mcconaughay ) , is a sappy , lifeless creation that wanders around , trying to solve everyone 's problems and settle his own .
mcconaughay is awful , especially because he is trying to pull off his usual hollywood charm with a 3 week beard and torn jeans .
frankly , he had more charm in the devestating flop
the newton boys .
he overacts in every way : his overexaggerant body language , obsession with kissing women every second
he gets the chance , and that cliched scene where he loses someone in his life , and drops to his knee and cries .
the rest of the cast is very good ; especially martin landau ( as ed 's step - father ) , who plays a cute role as the close - to - death old guy that makes all the witty comments .
jenna elfman is good , ( but a little overemotional ) ; her main problem is that she keeps getting sucked into bad films
, i .
e .
ca n't hardly wait , and krippendorf 's tribe .
woody harrelson , as ed 's brother ray , does his usual egg - headed role , with his comic wit as well ( he wrote a book entitled , " my brother pissed on me .
" ) elizabeth hurley is perfectly cast as the easy slut , and dennis hopper , in a quick cameo as ed 's biological father , is a nice choice ( ironically coming after the role he turned down as christof in the truman show ) .
ellen degeneres stood out as the executive who , after awhile , decides the show must not go on much to the opposite of the head exec , rob reiner 's opinion .
i hate to compare this film to the truman show , but the fact is , i was ashamed to see this movie .
it felt that i had dropped from college to kindergarten after seeing truman and ed .
edtv had no real wit or genius
; it was typical hollywood .
extracting the tv part of the movie , you have the simple plotline : man steals brother 's girlfriend , girlfriend leaves town , man gets new slut girlfriend to feel like he can move on ,
slut breaks up with him , real girlfriend comes back , and voila , you have a romance .
i got so restless during this movie , i almost walked out .
the only reason it does n't drop below a " c " grade is because of the fine supporting performances .
ad2am
" i almost lost my nose . . .
and i like it .
i like breathing through it .
"
-jack nicholson , chinatown
Output: N
five years after his directorial debut based on stephen king 's writings called the shawshank redemption ( 9/10 ) , writer / director frank darabont returns to the big screen with another prison film based on the famous scribblings of stephen king .
unlike the latter film , this one is a big , long , laborious bore .
plot :
a seven - foot death row inmate is discovered to have secret healing powers .
critique : this film is slow , drawn - out , boring , uninteresting , unexciting , predictable and topped with a couple of one - dimensional " evil " characters .
its only positive attribute lies in its actors who all do credible jobs and its message of hope and belief in miracles .
the real miracle of my night was the fact that i did not fall asleep during this straightforward , unimpressive film about a guy with special powers who we never truly understand or care about .
of course , much like all other death row cell blocks , this one is filled with decent inmates who all happen to be " misunderstood " , except for one cookie - cutter crazy guy who is evil personified .
and let 's not forget all the guards on death row , who also happen to be angels from the heaven above , except for one cookie - cutter crazy guard who is also evil personified ( and is there any reason why there are about six guards when there appears to be no more than three inmates ? ? ? ) .
am i supposed to identify with anyone in this film ? or even more importantly , am i supposed to give a rat 's ass about anyone in this film ?
well , if i was , i sure missed that boat , because the only thing that i ended up caring about during this entire picture was the obscene amount of fat that tom hanks has been able to burrow under his loose chin . furthermore ,
there is absolutely no reason in the world why director frank darabont needed to take three hours and ten minutes out of anyone 's life to present this story .
in fact , the story is empty within itself .
i truly did not get anything out of the film other than the fact that there is a guy on death row who has special powers to heal , and we are left wondering if he should still be executed or not .
wow .
how interesting .
the plot 's utter predictability is also at fault here with one guess as to whom is to get healed by the gentle monster in this film ( we are told that one certain lady has a tumor early on in the movie ) .
whip out those thinking caps , kids ! hmmm
,
and i wonder what will happen to those two cookie - cutter " evil " guys who have nothing in their system but hate and negativity .
hmmmm , now think hard here , boys and girls .
what a crock !
i am guessing that this film was supposed to be some three - hour exercise in spirituality , but unfortunately for me , it was neither spiritual or the least bit engaging .
in fact , it was one big bore .
i did n't see the point of the movie , i did n't see the point of the story and i certainly did n't see the point in tom hanks ' big double - chin .
all in all , a bad movie starring some great actors doing solid work , especially michael clarke duncan as the man of the hour , john coffey .
give that man an award or something !
Output: N