the most absurd remake of 1998 ?
it 's a toss up between gus van sant 's psycho and mighty joe young , the new disney picture based on the old rko picture .
( i knew i was in trouble when a polished , computer - generated version of that famous rko logo appeared before the head credits . )
there is no great demand for another giant ape movie - make that ape movie , period .
( witness the quick deaths of buddy , born to be wild and congo . )
and while this latest entry is inoffensive and watchable , it 's also an assembly line product through and through , lacking the charm and unpredictability of the jungle serials that partly inspired it .
theron is jill young : as a young girl in the wilds of africa , she befriended a baby gorilla after both their mothers were slain by poachers .
that baby gorilla ( nicknamed joe ) grows to immense proportions , and adult jill basically bides her time looking after him , playing hide and seek with him and guarding him against poachers .
enter conservationist greg ( paxton ) , who convinces jill to move with joe to california , where they can protect him better in a controlled environment .
joe is restless at first ; no sooner does he finally settle in to the new place than those nasty poachers show up in l . a . , plotting joe 's demise .
suffice it to say , the movie could have been called " joe : ape in the city .
" theron ( so good in devil 's advocate ) and paxton ( so good in the recent a simple plan ) are fine actors , but not fine enough to transcend the material , a paint - by - numbers script from the hack writers of superman iv and mercury rising .
the plot arguably borrows more from steven spielberg 's the lost world than the 1949 original , with the computer - generated t - rex - i mean , joe - wreaking havoc on the busy streets for an encore ; the storytelling becomes especially lazy during this final third , with jill shouting , " look , joe 's headed for the movie theatre ! " followed by a shot of joe scaling mann 's chinese theater ; a moment later , jill shouts again something like " look , joe 's headed for an amusement park ! " and what do you know , there 's joe at the pallisades carnival , scaring the bejesus out of innocent thrillseekers .
the seams of last - minute edits to mighty joe young show - unrelated scenes are patched together with quick dissolves .
the movie sure feels uneven , regardless : act two is underdeveloped , while a little of joe smashing cars in act three goes a long , long way .
underwood ( tremors , speechless ) was perhaps not the director for the job ; even the plentiful , untamed landscape looks dull in his hands .
( capturing the beauty of nature requires more than his point and shoot style . )
i did enjoy certain sequences , especially the demoliton of a black - tie dinner sequence ; and the prologue , however implausible , is touching .
( as a tyke , joe acts just like e .
t . )
rick baker 's make - up effects and puppetry are outstanding , the real star of the show - yet , for all its technical flawlessness , the creature remains too grumpy and homicidal to love .
( his facial expressions are variations on a scowl . ) to be fair , i saw mighty joe young in a cinema packed with wailing children - it 's a wonder i was able to decipher the dialogue .
it 's certainly not a film for very young kids - intense fighting scenes may scare them , while any time joe 's not on camera may bore them to tears .
( note : older boys are more likely to be dazzled by theron 's colourful array of tank tops . )
i suspect bland mighty joe young is passable entertainment for a family outing , but they sure do n't make ?
em like they used to .
Output: N