i feel sorry for the financial backers of " waterworld , " which is supposedly the most expensive film ever made ( at $ 172 million ! ) , and is also one of the stupidest - boy did they get ripped off !
in fact , this film is not really a movie , but more of an amusement park ride with a plot .
it 's not even just another case of cliches strung together
( well , it is that too ) , it 's something that 's painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws .
kevin costner stars as a man who is some kind of mutant half man / half fish .
he is an explorer / mariner on an alternate earth that is completely covered by water because the polar ice caps melted .
he 's referred to as the mariner , but they " the meaner " would have been a more appropriate title because he 's cold , rigid , and strict -
and he 's supposed the be the good guy !
he docks at a small floating village of sorts .
he trades dirt for money and this introduces us to the other important characters .
first we meet one of the villains , then the soon - to - be heroine , a child prodigy , a wacky inventor , and a group of primitive people that somehow have some of the technology we have today , but also some of the low - tech tools used by pirates and vikings .
immediately the film 's biggest flaw is apparent
: are these people primitive or highly advanced ?
it does n't seem like anyone can read yet
they have ski - doos and airplanes !
how are these things powered ?
and if they have airplanes , could n't they just keep flying until they reached dry land ?
also , if the planet is completely covered in water where did they get the materials to make these things ?
i 'm sorry ,
i 'm all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies , but elements like these can not go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us
.
there was potential here for a good pirate story set in medieval times before modern technology , so why mix the two together ?
it does n't make any sense .
there really is n't much of a plot here because the story moves
so quickly it never takes time to explain anything .
the only thing we learn is that the prodigy child , enola ( mojorino ) , has a tattoo on her back that is supposedly a map to " dryland .
" who put the tattoo there and how come
it has taken them this long to figure this out ?
we never get an answer , just a stupid action movie about whoever can get the girl will be the victor of sorts if they reach dryland .
to make a long , boring , stupid , and just plain bad story short
; the mariner escapes with a woman named helen ( tripplehorn ) and enola .
they sail for a long time , encountering some strange people in the process and fight off " the smokers " as lead by the idiot villain deacon ( hopper ) , who kidnaps enola .
the story becomes a overly grand adventure with the mariner taking on an army of goons , rescuing enola , and bringing them all to salvation ( how original ) .
even with all its special effects , action , and adventure this film is boring
.
not a single character is likable , therefore neither is the plot .
dennis hopper completely rips off jack nicholson 's joker , while costner just plain rips .
still , " waterworld " is professionally made with a good production design and an original idea but no substance to it .
i just hope they do n't make a sequel !
Output: N