there are two things the american film industry should avoid at all costs .
one is letting an ambitious actor convert one of his or her favorite novels into a feature film .
two is never greenlight a sci - fi film starring john travolta .
to wit , we present the disaster that is battlefield earth .
a science - fiction opus starring the barbarino of the actors guild , battlefield earth should be shown only at maximum - security prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior .
sci - fi is always a tricky beast : tight script , a good director , an ensemble cast of decent actors , and the ability to suspend even the most difficult of disbeliefs .
battlefield earth
fails at achieving even one of these attributes .
here 's the ` plot . '
the year is 3000 .
mankind has been become an endangered species thanks to the conquest of a race of aliens called the psychlos ( sounds like either the latest clown act from cirque de soleil or a white rap group ) .
a small band of humans dwell in radioactive caves located in the rockies in fear of the ` demons ' who dwell in the cities below .
the psychlos are strip - mining the earth for its resources and terel , played by travolta , is the head of security for the mining / slave base located in denver .
a young rogue named jonnie goodboy tyler , played with dramatic flair by barry pepper , ventures from the safety of the caves into the city to uncover the truth about the ` demons . '
he is promptly captured and taken to the alien base .
after several attempts at escape , johnnie is placed in the middle of an underhanded subplot of terel 's , involving circumventing gold from an exposed vein in the rockies to his own end .
jonnie , assumed leader of the mining slave group , then manages to attain all psychlo and human intelligence through
a learning machine terel forces him to use .
then the story just runs along until jonnie teaches the rest of the humans the basics of trigonometry , the bill of rights , how to use a machine gun , and how to fly a harrier jet .
the whole mess concludes with a big , loud , obnoxious gun - and - plane battle that had me praying for the end credits .
roger christian , the director of this lumbering beast , must have rented dune , blade runner , planet of the apes , independence day , stargate , beastmaster , the airwolf episodes , the ` v ' miniseries , the matrix , and the omega man . . . and decided to steal every scene he could for battlefield earth .
christian even shoots every scene in a weird dutch angle titled left or right for every frame of the movie !
and every scene in the movie ends with a middle wipe -- really .
the psychlos reminded me of a cross between jamaican basketball players with bad teeth and bloated hands and klingon extras working the star trek convention circuit .
travolta 's acting has n't been this bad since the experts or maybe perfect .
jonnie goodboy tyler evolves into william wallace with lines like
` you can have your freedom if you fight ! '
then there 's the script : the film just never convinces you that the plight of jonnie in teaching his fellow humans to fight and ` take back the planet ' would be a difficult task to achieve .
why ?
because terel provides all the necessary tools to incite a revolt -- for no particular reason beside the fact that ` humans are stupid . '
terel may be right , you know .
humans made this movie .
Output: N