teenagers have a lot of power in hollywood .
every year countless films will be made targeting that audience in particular , and rely on the entire teenage population to turn out on friday and saturday nights , wallets in hand .
the formula is very simple , you make a film with a big name young actor or actress with sex appeal .
you add a high school environment that features everyone from prom queens to math club nerds , and then a very simple relationship conflict that can be worked out in 90 minutes , the typical teenage attention span .
the response is enormous as this part of the population will waste it92s money on almost any = film set in an environment they can relate to , and , most importantly ,
they don92 t care to judge films=92 quality , so any piece of trash will = due .
that is just what never been kissed , the latest film from director raja gosnell , is ; trash .
josie geller ( drew barrymore ) is the youngest copy editor in the history of the chicago sun times .
she has her own personal assistant , unlimited supplies , and her own office .
but she is very much dismayed with her position in life .
there is nothing she wants more than to be a reporter and go out into the field , where she can play a more active role in the chicago media .
so when an assignment is quite literally thrown at her out of nowhere , she jumps at it with elation .
constantly smothering josie in the work place is her friend anita ( molly shannon ) and her amicable superior , gus ( john c. reilly ) .
the two of them are both stricken with horror upon hearing the news of her first assignment , as they both deem her to be an office worker and not a reporter .
however , since this film is aimed at a teenage audience with little patience for character conflict , this otherwise interesting scenario is resolved within two minutes , and josie is headed for the field .
obviously , the field assignment involves a high school .
specifically , she is to become an undercover reporter at a high school , by enrolling in the senior class and " becoming one of them .
"
i don92
t think that i = need to even begin to explain all the impossibilities of this situation ever occurring
,
so i
won92
t .
the movie develops into josie trying to find the life that she never led in high school .
interwoven flashback scenes show us just how much of a dork she truly was , and she appears to be heading down that road again .
fortunately for this lame production , other characters do appear that make some of these high school scenes both humorous and remotely interesting .
they include the predictable love stories , between both a student ( jeremy jordan ) and a teacher ( michael vartan ) , to show that josie is really two people in one body .
also , her younger brother and opposite , rob ( david arquette ) comes into her new found life and even causes a rare scene that is mildly provocative .
the humor found in this film is actually quite amusing .
typical for teenage films
, it is chalk full of sexual innuendoes and condom humor .
one scene in particular features a certain classroom activity involving bananas and latex that is absolutely hysterical .
most of the other jokes are straight forward high school humor that anyone who has ever been to high school can appreciate and will enjoy .
but those still don92 t = recover for the total lack of quality in this movie .
following this trend of high school movie rules , comes the general acting .
it is even worse than the trend of overplaying a scenario from film to film .
in this case , drew barrymore is absolutely painful to watch .
she is required to play her character on two levels , having some very black and white transitions .
and although some scenes are written to be particular shades of gray , she seems to hold that color throughout all of her screen time .
at one point she is alone with an obvious love interest on a ferris wheel , and is expected to him on an adult level , since he is one , her teacher .
but she never seems to get out of the gray area , and in doing
so she makes a mockery out of his otherwise good performance .
following barrymore is the pitiful molly shannon
( saturday night live ) .
she seems to be limited to playing an ecstatic character that no one can relate to , and draws the attention of an audience as simply unrealistic .
it is these " qualities " that prevent the aforementioned condom scene from being one of the few decent .
luckily there is one great performance to emerge out of this otherwise bleak film .
david arquette ( scream ) takes home the prize for being able to stand out in an ensemble performance that is absolutely pathetic , and not have his brilliant acting ruined .
and as a central character he gets to take on his own mini - plot , which is one of the few well done parts of never been kissed .
in a dazzling cherry - on - the - sundae type piece of work , he does an absolutely hilarious tom cruise impression from the 1983 hit , risky business .
never been kissed is a mediocre film at best .
the predictable plot has become so overplayed in hollywood , that it is sickening to watch time and again , and this film is no exception .
the acting is just as bad , but there is the one positive presence of david arquette to add some light .
unfortunately , the bottom line is that the movie will be a success , because teenagers will pay to see any trash .
Output: N