movies like six days , seven nights make me mad because talented people like harrison ford , anne heche , and ivan reitman put a lot of hard work in to a script worth about ten cents .
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the script was written by michael browning , and he decided that , instead of thinking up new ideas , he 'd rehash a lot of cliches , omit even the slightest bit of character development , and then throw in drug - dealing pirates to provide for a few high - level action sequences and explosions . ?
there are good scripts out there that high - profile actors can make ( see the truman show , for instance ) . ?
six days
, seven nights is simply a waste .
let 's see .
.. we have to get harrison ford and anne heche alone on an island . ?
so , how do we do that ? ?
well , we 'll make her a feisty magazine editor , and we 'll make him a crusty old pilot .
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but wait , she has to have a fianc ?
e ; that can be david schwimmer .
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but wait , if she has a fianc ?
e , how will she and harrison ford crash on the island alone ?
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i know ! ?
they 'll get to their vacation spot , and then she 'll get called back ! ?
yessssss !
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so , they 'll crash on the island , and that will be funny for about five minutes . ?
shucks .
oh , i 've got it ! ?
we 'll throw in a distracting subplot in which her fianc ?
e has sex with a really attractive woman who acts like a bimbo , and then he can feel guilty . ?
then , when anne heche kisses harrison ford ( they have to kiss , because otherwise nobody will want to see the movie ) , it will be a vindicated action , because her fianc ?
e will already have cheated on her ! ?
then , for no obvious reason , they 'll accidentally run into pirates who try to kill them . ?
oh , yes ! ?
i feel so good about this story . ?
instead of using characterization to propel the events , it will be completely random , and yet totally predictable ! ?
imagine that .
do n't get me wrong --
six days , seven nights is not a boring picture ; ford and heche both do a great job .
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the sparks fly between them , and so most of browning 's inane dialogue is drowned out by the actors ' sheer force of talent . ?
almost every scene between them has energy that the performers bring to the screen , and i found myself laughing pretty hard . ?
schwimmer is also funny , and manages to milk all of his scenes for whatever he can get . ? and reitman , who has made some good films , at least tries to make things exciting . ?
even though the pirate subplot is profoundly dumb , i was prepared to be pleasantly sidetracked by the action sequences .
it 's
just when i start to think about the story that my contempt for this film surfaces .
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the picture feels like it 's been hacked to pieces --
i would n't be surprised if five or six inept subplots have been edited out completely . ?
the ones that are here are as bad as they come
( i think i let out a very audible groan when they get the first glimpse of the pirate ships ) , and i 'd just like to shake the producers by the shoulders and scream , " why did you pick this awful script ! ?
"
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the film is outright stupid , but some of the elements are subtly horrifying .
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for instance , take the subplot in which the schwimmer character has sex with the bimbo , and then feels really guilty . ?
this is a serious problem in real life , but six days , seven nights reduces any chance of complexity to a weak plot device : ?
his actions are what makes it okay for heche to kiss ford . ? in a script that lacks even a glimpse of intelligent subtlety , i find it odd that such a strangely insulting device ended up in the story .
this is summer movie season , but that does n't mean our movies have to be dumb . ?
1998 so far has been one of the worst years in recent memory for summer blockbusters . ?
when i was in line for six days , seven nights , i heard the woman in front of me ask for " two tickets to that new harrison ford movie .
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why did n't she know the name of the film ? ?
i suppose she just did n't care .
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what bothers me even more is that the people who make these big - budget pictures do n't realize that their films are becoming parodies of themselves . ?
good actors should sign to good scripts , and if hollywood insists on making flicks to rake in cash , they least they could do is assume that we 'd like to spend our money on a story worth more than ten cents .
Output: N