joe versus the volcano is really one of the worse movies made in very recent memory .
the strangest thing is that you would think nothing would go wrong with it .
it has a solid cast with tom hanks & meg ryan as the lead roles .
but you can never judge a movie by its cast . . .
if there is one good thing about joe vs the volcano , it is that the plot is original .
unfortunately , it is also incredibly stupid .
the movie begins with joe ( tom hanks ) going to work .
this opening sequence is very boring and slow .
it shows joe walking to his office .
but on the way , he has to wait in a long line passing by strange and slightly depressing scenery with obnoxious lighting .
a sequence like this should take 2 minutes .
here , it takes over 5 . . .
it is obvious that joe hates his job .
at his office , one of his co - workers is meg ryan .
oddly enough , she plays 3 different roles in this movie ! !
joe leaves to go to a doctor 's appointment .
his doctor informs him that he has a " brain cloud .
"
this means that in a few months , he will die .
so what does joe do ?
quit his job , of course ! !
when he arrives home , joe meets an old man named graynamore ( lloyd bridges ) .
graynamore tells joe that in order to get some important mineral for his company from an island , the natives need someone to sacrifice to their volcano to please their fire god .
by a startling coincidence , the boat trip to the island takes a few months .
by the time he reaches the island , he will almost be dead from the " brain cloud " anyway , so joe agrees .
graynamore gives joe a credit card to buy everything he needs to go on this " great adventure " .
joe goes on a date with meg ryan , his co - worker .
the day before the boat trip , joe meets one of graynamore 's daughters .
she is also , surprise , meg ryan . except she looks more hippyish .
they both have dinner and the next day , joe gets driven over to his boat .
the lady that sails the boat is another one of graynamore 's daughters .
and , wonder of wonders , she is also played by meg ryan .
as they sail to the island , meg ryan tells joe that the natives of the island have a craving for orange soda .
after some stupid talking scenes , they also deduce that graynamore had his doctor be the one that joe went to . and that the " brain cloud " thing was made up ! !
they do plently of cheap special effects on the boat voyage .
joe goes fishing and catches a hammerhead shark .
this is a cheap gag that has been pulled off many times .
but , to top it off , the shark is obviously rubber and fake ! !
one night there is a storm .
a cheap - looking lightning bolt strikes the boat and everything is cast overboard .
fortunately , joe and meg ryan manage to find some of the luggage that joe brought to sail .
by pure luck , they get to the island .
since the natives like orange soda , they wear soda cans as attire ! !
stupid or what ?
; ) before joe leaps in the volcano , he gets fed .
right before he jumps , meg ryan pleads him not to .
when joe decides to , she goes in with him because " she loves him " .
now this is where the movie should end .
but , unfortunately , the " cheesy ending " bug comes in .
the volcano blows the couple out and into the ocean where they land on joe 's luggage .
they float to another part of the island as they watch lava pouring out of the volcano towards the villagers .
i give this movie a . see it only if you 're a film buff that enjoys a bad movie
every now and then or if you really like tom hanks or meg ryan . . .
Output: N