it used to be that not just anyone could become a vampire .
usually , you had to be an aristocrat - a count such as dracula or karnstein .
to qualify , you 'd have to have a modicum of sophistication , so you 'd at least look cool - or suave - when biting into some young damsel 's throat .
but today , in our overly politically correct world , any scuzzy - looking , long - haired , unshaven lout or any spiked - haired harridans can put the bite on you .
by the same token , to be a vampire hunter , one had to have some sort of medical training and knowledge of the occult or maybe perhaps be some sort of professional soldier , or at least one who retired with honors .
not in these times .
all you need are some sharp weapons , some bullets forged from silver and any yahoo can be a buffy - or a blade .
without sounding elitist , the fear of vampires has greatly diminished because of this lack of exclusivity .
which brings us to blade , the latest in a long line of vampire movies in which , it seems , half the population is putting the bite on the other half .
not only are there thousands of vampires , but they seem to move from city to city , pay off police departments and , most importantly , establish their own exclusive after - hours raves in which the highlight is the sprinkler system going off and dousing all the occupants in a blood shower .
with all that blood , you wonder why they have to hunt for victims .
you also wonder when they get the time to get their clothes dry - cleaned and why no cleaner ever complains about all the bloodstains .
blade , which is based on a marvel comic book character , is , like a comic book , all visual .
the plot is basically blade repetitiously slashing his way through the vampire army seeking their leader , deacon frost .
it 's all hokum and nonsense , of course .
but the filmmakers play it straight .
unfortunately , at least at the advance screening i attended , the audience did n't see it that way and laughed through much of the proceedings .
you know a movie is in trouble when the scenes of blood and gore that should elicit screams of fright instead evoke peels of laughter .
another tell - tale sign is when the audience seems to be admiring the hero 's costume more than the hero .
also it seems it 's not enough for today 's vampire merely to have fangs .
he must also be proficient in the martial arts .
why a supernatural being , one of the undead , needs such skills is beyond me .
( of course , this concept dates to the 1974 hammer films - run run shaw production of legend of the seven golden vampires , in which dracula is defeated by seven karate - chopping siblings . )
wesley snipes is buff as blade .
he growls his lines -the
few he has - and spends
most of the time glowering - as if he was suffering from indigestion or having second thoughts about starring in and co - producing this turkey .
blade is just another example of how the vampire film , a once honorable member of the horror family , has gone downhill .
this dud
mostly makes you yearn for those quaint old days when christopher lee could be stopped just by dangling a crucifix in his face .
today 's vampires lack the panache , the style of a bela lugosi or a christopher lee .
they are not even worthy enough to carry those great bloodsuckers ' capes .
they are more farcical than frightful .
this whole enterprise is one dull blade that could have used lots of sharpening .
Output: N