kids today , they do n't just want to see heartthrob and master thespian freddie prinze jr .
loving on the ladies .
no , they want to see him doing something that takes a little more in the acting department : namely , playing baseball .
through a series of drippy voiceovers , we are informed that there 's no better proving ground for major league baseball than the cape cod summer baseball leagues , where college also - rans and hopeful dropouts go to play in the hopes of attracting big league attention .
our man freddie has landed a spot as a pitcher on the prestigious chatham a 's , where he is hoping for his big break .
it 's only after he is given ample time to show off his abs and scamper about in a woman 's thong
( do n't ask ) that we learn what the real story of summer catch will be : that prinze is a poor townie named ryan dunne , struggling to make a name for himself ; that neither his father ( fred ward ) nor brother ( jason gedrick ) pulled themselves out of their blue collar jobs and resent anyone who tries ; and that the local beauty tenley -- tenley !
( jessica biel ) -- is so far out of his league that he probably should n't even bother . . .
but of course he makes a play for her .
summer catch also makes an abortive stab at another half a dozen subplots -- the jealousy of fellow townie and brazen slut dee dee ( brittany murphy ) , the alienation felt by ryan 's non - baseball playing best friend ( gabriel mann ) , or the fat chick fetish of fellow player miles ( marc blucas ) .
worst of these is a ludicrous bit involving that ' 70s show 's wilmer valderrama and beverly d'angelo , both of whom appear in the film simply to provide a nutty mrs .
robinson - like substory and to remind you of how much better done that was in bull durham .
in fact , virtually all of summer catch feels like it 's been done better somewhere else . for starters , the film has a major question of identity .
it 's definitely not a sports movie , and it fails pretty miserably at being a romance .
the worst part is the amateurish script ( co - written by an arli$$ writing alumnus and a guy that starred in leprechaun 3 )
, chock - full of phony emotion
.
by the end , it all becomes a platform for each character to deliver a soliloquy to ryan that he must take to heart .
dad is on hand to give fatherly yet drunken advice .
coach ( brian dennehy , just loving the fact that he 's got some work on the big screen ) is on hand to give the curmudgeonly counterpoint .
ryan 's catcher ( matthew lillard , playing himself again ) is on hand to tell ryan to " play catch " with him and make fun of the fat fetish guy .
ryan 's stoner best friend is on hand to give the go - get-'em - tiger - we're - behind - you talk .
and the girlfriend is on hand to give heartwarming - nuzzly - follow - your - dreams counsel .
before long , you start to wonder : is freddy prinze jr . is capable of having a thought of his own ?
do n't answer that .
the only real joy in the film is found in biel 's character , and not just because of the skimpy outfits , which are also usually wet .
she 's the only one in the movie that is able to do much with her role , taking the rebelling - against - daddy character to at least a passing grade .
when she 's on screen , the time flies by .
when she 's not , you realize that for some ungodly reason this movie is almost two hours long
.
for a pg-13 teen romance ( despite near - constant sexual innuendo ) , one has to ask warner brothers : what were you thinking ? ? ?
for her part , biel has fallen so far from her 7th heaven roots that she has almost become denise richards .
hollywood is either about to eat her alive . . . or vice versa .
either way , good luck , jessica .
as for freddie , if he keeps pumping teen romances out at the rate of two a year , prinze 's next " summer catch " is liable to be a venereal disease .
Output: N