some talented actresses are blessed with a demonstrated wide acting range while others , almost as gifted , have more limited types of parts for which they are suitable .
as was amply evident after basic instinct , sharon stone can play sensual roles with great abandon . rejecting her natural abilities , she has spent the rest of her entire career trying with little success to play against type .
gloria is her latest disaster .
babe ruth did n't quit baseball after one season to play football in a quixotic quest to prove his athletic dexterity , and neither should stone reject what she does best .
janeane garofalo , for example , is no less wonderful an actress because she could have never pulled off stone 's part in basic instinct ; neither is stone any less talented because she could n't do garofalo 's comedic roles .
gloria , directed by respected director sidney lumet and adapted by steve antin from the 1980 screenplay by john cassavetes , was not screened in advance for critics ,
almost always a sign that the studio is n't behind the picture .
after seeing it in a nearly empty audience after it opened , it is clear why they held it from the press .
it is a film more to be endured than enjoyed .
as the story opens , an angry gloria ( stone ) is being released from prison after 3 years confinement .
she 's got a bad attitude and a big mouth .
she also has a bad case of wavering and overblown new york accents , a disease suffered by much of the rest of the cast .
an annoying child actor named jean - luke figueroa plays a soon - to - be orphan named nicky .
just before his whole family is gunned down by hoods working for gloria 's ex - boyfriend kevin ( jeremy northam ) , nicky 's dad gives him a banana yellow floppy disk with secrets about kevin 's operation and offers him a piece of fatherly advice .
" be a man , " his father lectures him sternly .
" do n't trust nobody .
not no broads .
nobody .
"
most of the film 's leaden dialog is delivered with the emotive power of the automated time and temperature announcements .
add in the movie 's almost non - existent background noise and the excruciatingly slow pacing , and you can hear the sounds of the lines falling to the ground like stones .
lumet places his actors in the frames like fruit in a still life painting .
they stand awkwardly mouthing the stiff sentences that pass for discourse .
( " say you 're my baby , " kevin coos demandingly .
"
i 'm not gon na , " gloria pouts back . )
the movie has a plethora of logical flaws and implausibilites .
the kid rarely seems the least bit worried or scared , no matter how many people are after him with guns , trying to kill him .
and in one key scene , the yellow floppy he holds is assumed to be the right disk without checking it and is further assumed never to have been copied .
gloria , who keeps saying how she hates kids , takes nicky under her wing and protects him from kevin and the bad guys .
think her maternal instincts will show up before the movie finally and predictably ends ? if you do n't know the answer , you may be just the right viewer for this film .
you have to say this for stone : she can keep a straight face .
when explaining life to a 7-year - old kid , she says with utter seriousness , " you got a lot of love making to make ; you got a lot of boozing to do .
" gloria runs 1 : 48 .
it is rated r for profanity , violence and brief male nudity and would be acceptable for teenagers .
Output: N