it was with a huge lack of something to do that i decided to watch this on good old upn on sunday afternoon , when the only good things on tv are the second - rate movies they show ( some are good : they showed " total recall " before this one ) . if you know me , i think seagal is probably the most boring action star to ever live .
and this includes keanu reeves .
what do i hate about seagal ?
i hate how he uses one facial expression for every single threatening and non - threatening situation ( the squint ) .
i hate those scenes in every movie where he goes around , bullying people up , saying stupid lines with a brooklyn accent more fake than burt reynold 's hairpiece in " boogie nights .
" i despise how he never gets a bruise
in any of his fights .
i hate how every single plot twist leads to just a melodramatic fight between he and the chief villain .
i hate his non - satirical messages ( in the beginning of this one , he slaps on a quote from arthur miller , which has nothing to do with the film , except it 's about brooklyn where this film takes place ) .
and i hate how he 's so narcissistic that he thinks that he can actually fucking sing
( during the end credits , he has a good old hill billy rock tune sung and penned by him ) .
sure , the guy 's probably a nice guy in person
( i actually found him very non - threatening when he was on letterman not too long ago ) .
but the guy makes worse films than reagan did .
so what 's the plot of this shit - terpiece ?
well .
. .
something about him trying to catch a stupid - ass crook ( william forsythe ) who shot and killed his partner in broad daylight .
i could n't believe how bad this scene was - the guy was conveniently with his family so we get the maximum emotional effect ( ahem ! ) .
and forsythe even said some stupid lines to him before he took off .
i 'm sorry , did anyone ever hear of concealing one 's self ?
so in comes ex - brooklynite seagal , who dedicates his life to catching this guy .
and i just wished he had caught him in the beginning , then ended the film .
but noooo ,
this drags on , as he bullies forsythe 's family members ( including a stupid bar - owner , and none other than gina gershon as his other bar - owner sister ) .
and forsythe more than once threatens his family .
at one point , he actually comes to their house and stalks them like a non - threatening nicholson in " the shining " ( complete with them all hiding in the bathroom , but with an added bonus of one girl conveniently loosing her cool and screaming to give them away ) .
seagal paints himself as a lovable person , with a son , and a fiancee .
he even shows him hanging with his son , checking up on his homework , and then about to take him out for a bit of " catch , " when he 's conveniently called away on assignment .
i dunno about you , but playing " catch " with seagal was one of my childhood nightmares .
he also shows him as that bad - ass he wants to be , with scenes of him bullying crooks around , and taking out people who are stupid enough to attack him even after he 's unarmed a chinese guy swinging bats with a pool cue .
serves them right .
this film , as some of his do , has an interesting supporting cast of actors who are actually talented , but do n't appear to be in this film .
i already mentioned gina gershon ( who 's pretty horrible in this one ) , as well as william forsythe , who over - acts terribly .
i know this guy can act : he was awesome in " raising arizona " as goodman 's partner in crime .
but he 's just awful here .
jerry orbach gives the only credible performance in the film as the police chief who checks up on segal after things have gone down .
why is he the only one who gives a good performance ?
well , because his role is small enough and sporadic enough to not tarnish his credibility .
he seems to be in here just to give it a cool " law and order " feeling ( even if it 's not a " cool " feeling ) .
and in cameos are b - rated erotic - thriller - cinemax - style stars , shannon whirry ( as " terry malloy , " which is more of a bad joke than a clever one ) and athena massey .
oh !
and " er " 's
julliana margiulles has two scenes .
" out for justice " just proves once again that american action films just suck .
i know that there 's such a good thing as good action - he 's called john woo .
but if you 're in the mood for some good old no - brainer , fun - yet - dumb action , do n't bother watching this .
it 's so stupid that it 's boring .
Output: N