there are some pretty impressive stars in lost in space - it 's just that none of them happen to be actors .
the stars i 'm referring to are the computer generated ones that make up the movie 's " outer space " ;
the stars that the less impressive actors hurtle thru as they try to find their way home .
yes , in terms of acting , the star power is . . .
well
, more like a falling star .
kinda pretty , short - lived , and pretty much dead . lost in space , as if you really did n't know , is based on the 60 's sci - fi television series of the same name .
it 's the year 2058 , and earth 's precious resources are quickly being usurped by the needs of its massive population .
john robinson ( william hurt ) is the scientist leading a mission program to colonize a foreign planet .
earth 's entire existance is contingent upon a successful mission , but nobody , whether it be john 's family or hired battle pilot don west ( matt leblanc ) , seems too enthusiastic about leaving their home planet for several years .
john 's family consists of his wife maureen ( mimi rogers ) , his atypical teenage daughter penny ( lacey chabert ) , his ingenious son will ( jack johnson ) , and his beautiful scientist daughter judy ( heather graham ) .
despite everyone 's reluctance , the jupiter 2 spacecraft abandons planet earth and makes its way into the vast eternity of space .
unknown to anyone but the audience , there is an evil doctor stowaway determined to sabotage the entire mission .
dr .
smith ( gary oldman ) has been hired by a group of rebel conspirators to turn the expedition sour , and dr .
smith has re - programmed a talking robot to " destroy robinson family " !
when everything that could go wrong does go wrong for both sides , the spaceship is warped to an unknown destination , and now the premise of being lost in space is complete .
as for the audience , you will likely be lost in boredom by this point , wondering if the plot , like the jupiter 2 , will ever get off the ground .
it 's hard to tell who deserves the most blame - the incredibly bland and corny characters or the horrifically lame script ?
chabert is basically the only one to overdo it , sounding like a whiny munchkin on helium .
if you , like me , were convinced by commercials that her voice was altered for some sort of plot twist where her body would be taken over by aliens , you 're wrong !
that 's just her normal voice !
in yet another example of a " friend " faltering on the big screen , leblanc is so incredibly dull and yet so obviously trying so hard to be so incredibly charming
( make sense ? ) , it makes you want to shove his ass out the escape pod corridor without an escape pod .
graham is a babe - thank goodness there was something for me to think about during this film .
hurt , the black hole of excitement , sucks up any energy that might have been left . if hurt were available in tablet form , he would be a prescription strength sleeping pill .
johnson is n't dull ,
he 's just lame
as the young know it all who winds up saving everybody 's ass all the time .
want an example of how cool this kid can be ?
how about when he convinces the robot to think with its heart and reconsider killing the family ?
hey , do n't laugh - the thing actually listened to the mr .
rogers - would - be - proud sentiment .
but alas
, if you thought a character could n't be much worse , there was rogers as the epitome of generic
( or , mother as she was known ) .
why hire an actress ?
they could 've had a white cardboard cutout with the word mom printed on it .
now that would 've had some pizzazz !
lost in space luckily does n't suffer in every single category that it could have .
the special effects are crisp , clear , and at least mildly captivating , unlike any of the presences onscreen save
it be oldman , who plays his evil character with a great deal of fun and finesse .
unfortunately , oldman is locked away for most of the film , giving us nothing but ample mocking opportunities to enjoy .
while the special effects are pleasing to the eye , they are nothing you could n't find in most modern sci - fi films .
contact , for example , far exceeds this film in terms of imagery and imagination .
lost in space
just has too many shortcomings to ever be considered a work of cinematic art , with numerous contradictions ( the time travel aspect was horribly flawed ! ) , wooden and corny acting , worse dialogue , and an ending so disappointing , you 'd be happier to have seen the entire robinson family get blown to smithereens .
then again , with an ending like this film has , it 's obvious a sequel is already being considered .
what an awful note to end on , knowing there could be more of this in a year or two .
the attempt to be family oriented is commendable , but lost in space is lost with the illusion that special effects and the nostalgia of a classic tv series being revisited is enough to satisfy all age groups .
well
, danger potential movie goers !
danger !
this movie crash lands without ever breaking thru the atmosphere of mediocrity .
Output: N