and just when you thought joblo was getting a little soft around the corners , not rating anything lower than your standard " this movie sucks "
, along comes this cinematic atrocity and he 's forced to take out his secret weapon and spray it with a stench so thick , even the bravest movie - goer would think twice about seeing this waste of time .
yes , despite being a third sequel to a successful original movie , the latest highlander does n't seem to have anything going for it .
oh stinky movie
, let me count thee ways .
.. plot : ( from what i understood ) a really bad highlander dude comes to the present looking to whack out the nice highlander dudes in order to gain their power and become the mightiest immortal .
..
or something along those lines .
critique :
a complete and utter mess .
disjointed , incoherent , boring , corny , filled with bad dialogue .
..
and that 's just the first thirty minutes !
this film does n't seem to know what to do with itself .
it 's confusing to anyone who does n't know the series
( i include myself in that group ) and apparently idiotic to those who do know the series ( i include die - hard highlander fan the arrow in that group ) .
the film does n't explain anything about itself .
.. it just goes from one inexplicable situation to another .
one moment they 're in the present time ,
the next moment , they 're in italy in the 1600s .
why ?
who knows .
what are they talking about ?
no idea .
flashbacks mixed in with the present , mixed in with a few spontaneously cheesy fight sequences
every now and again , and i even remember seeing one flashback scene which went even further into its own flashback scene ! !
hullo . .. ? ! ?
confused yet ?
i was
and i basically stopped giving a crap about anyone in the film when i realized that neither the writer or director was interested in presenting me with any kind of semblance of a story .
random swordplay , mad max - like dudes showing up in motorcycles in the 1800s ?
or were they in the present at that time ? who knows .
.. and to be honest .
.. who seriously cares !
this series should have been shot in the head and put out of its own misery a long time ago , but sadly , someone at the studio decided that it still had a little life left in it .
please , please .
.. for the love of god and all that is holy in the world of movie - making , and mostly out of respect for those who loved the original film , put this series to bed and end it !
even christopher lambert knew enough to play second fiddle to adrian paul in this one .
the director also tries to do the best he can with the muddled material , but all he could come up with is plenty of slo - mo action , some fast - motion fight scenes and lots of smoke everywhere . and is there anything spectacular about the sword - play or fight scenes ?
nope .
and i think we all could have done without all those zooming lambert face close - ups .
..
yipes , the man is not aging gracefully , is he ?
oh boy , and i have n't even gotten around to the greatest piece of over - acting that i 've seen in years .
the man who plays kell in this movie , bruce payne , should get a ham trophy for literally chewing up every piece of scenery that he gets near .
overacting is not a hobby for this guy .
..
it 's a living !
he 's also very funny , not purposely though .
all in all , the movie stinks .
nuff said .
Output: N