the original _
babe _ was my favorite movie of 1995 ,
a sleeper hit that transcended its target audience .
being a surprise commercial and critical success , it had no marketing tie - ins , which limited its final take .
thus , babe 2 arrives , with a budget greater than the money made in babe 1 .
plush dolls , vending machines hawking t - shirts , and macy 's thanksgiving day balloons arrive for holiday money - grubbing . too late .
this is a sad review to write , because babe 2 not only does _ not _ live up to the original , but it does n't even come to a fraction of it .
i should n't expect that sequels to modern fairy tales to match their predecessors ' magic , but this film tries too hard , and loses its charm
. consider a driver applying the accelerator with great intensity , unaware that his car is in neutral .
imagine with me , if you will , _ scream _ 's jamie kennedy , explaining the " rules " for sequels like babe 2 .
( 1 ) there must be _ more _ talking animals .
( 2 ) there must be _ more _ slapstick comedy .
( 3 ) there must be _ more _ songs for those mice to sing : that 's cute .
( 4 ) keep the story cards to break up the action : that 's cute too , even though " the pig gets wise " made no sense , given the context of that story partition .
( 5 ) there must be action , however illogical , that will conjure up pivotal scenes from the original : the trademark song that nobody remembers the words to , the baa - ram - ewe secret code , the " that 'll do , pig .
that 'll do .
"
now throw in the limitations : ( a ) james cromwell , now a hot commodity ,
has limited time on the set ( or maybe he did n't approve of the script ) .
( b ) christine cavanaugh , the voice of the original babe , demands more money ( $ 200 , 000 - -paltry considering the $ 80 million budget ) . out .
e .
g .
daily comes in with noticable results .
( c ) george miller , the director , is more well - known for his dark futuristic mad max films and his twilight zone segment , not for kiddie fare ( and no , he did n't direct that _ andre _ film in ' 94 ) .
( d ) the special effects are impressive ,
_ but limited _ .
babe talks , but most of the time from a single shot , repeated over and over again .
( babe is center screen , looking straight into the camera , with a happy smirk -- regardless of whether he 's happy , or scared , or tired ) .
season now with the " original " elements , which , as we will find out , are straight from the screenwriting - is - hell bin .
( i ) change the venue into " the big city " .
this has been praised as wildly original .
excuse me : did n't _ home alone
_ do this several years ago ?
how about the muppets ?
even _ the bad news bears _ travelled to tokyo
.
sorry .
no dice .
side note : to give the city a fairy - tale look , george miller crafted a fantastical fantasyland that merges the landmarks of the world 's great cities , and yes , it _ is _ impressive .
but this too is over - used , repeating the same view over and again on multiple occasions .
and , for the most part , babe _ remains in the hotel _ .
( ii ) given the limitations of cromwell , the human element is taken over by " the boss ' wife " played by magda szubanski .
s - t
- r - e - t - c - h .
she 's not a lead actress - type
, she 's not funny enough in her physical comedy , and she 's simply embarrassing in some of her pratfalls .
( have her arrested falsely on drug charges !
have her accidentally incite a riot with biker dudes and scantily clad babes !
have her bounce around on a bungee cord at a prestigious benefit dinner ! )
i was hoping for a little smirk during these scenes , but i felt sorry for the embarrassment that she put herself in .
i am restraining myself from talking about the dark nature of the film , the violence , the scene where a pit bull dangles from the bridge , head submerged underwater .
even the best fairy tales have a bit of the macabre in it , as the brothers grimm have demonstrated .
no . . .
my problem is with the story , or lack thereof .
_
babe _ is sent out to save the hoggett farm , but once in the city , that story is forgotten .
being a good - natured pig in the midst of the cynicism of his environs is nice , but , other than rescue that aforementioned pit bull , what did babe actually _ do _ ? without giving the ending away , the farm is saved from a left - field quirk that had nothing to do with the pig .
speaking of " pig " , or , " pig - pig - pig - pig - pig ! "
.
the word " pig " is so overused , had they changed it to an expletive , and had the pig be al pacino , i could have been watching _ scarface
_ .
this is screenwriting ? further ,
i can not explain the deep gnaw at my gut in the many scenes where accidents happen to good people in fantastically elaborate setups .
had it been a cartoon , and the victim be an equivalent of elmer fudd , maybe my reaction would have been softened .
but to farmer hoggett ?
his wife ?
an elderly mickey rooney ?
much too irreverent .
( " quick !
splice those singing mice into those scenes ! " ) .
the film is n't a colossal failure .
i did like glenne headley 's schmoozy chimpanzee .
i liked the pink poodle .
the dog on the cart , who momentarily thinks he 's in dog heaven . and a weird looking guy who may have been doubly - cast as an airport employee and a judge .
but most of the time , i was looking down , in boredom , or in embarrassment over the hacked - up script .
them singing mice , those chapter partitions , the proficient acting of the animals-- none of these can compensate for a story .
let me spoil the final scene : farmer hoggett looks at pig , proud , says " that 'll do , pig .
that 'll do .
"
that 's it .
hope i did n't ruin it for you .
but tell me this : what the heck did that pig
_ do _ ?
Output: N