some movies i should just skip .
my daughter and i had a really vile time at my favorite martian a few weeks back , and here comes another disney effects - filled live - action flick based on an old tv program .
true , the probgram is only 15 years old this time , and it 's a cartoon .
but it 's a cartoon i liked , and i was understandably reluctant to see what disney had done to it on the big screen .
but my daughter really wanted to go , and how bad could it be ?
turns out i was right , mostly .
inspector gadget , oddly enough , follows almost exactly the same format as my favorite martian , down to the jive - talking side - kick .
at first i thought it was done by the same people , but imdb informs me that ig was directed by david kellogg and written by dana olsen and kerry ehrin , where mfm was directed by donald petrie and written by sherri stoner and deanna oliver .
this odd similarity between the two movies may best be explained by the studio that produced it , where " formula " is n't just business
, it 's a way of life .
the producers who obviously micromanaged the two projects should get prominant screen credits .
in some parts you can just hear them saying " more zany !
i want more zany here -- and -- here .
"
" let 's have a really painful sexual reference for no reason right here -- make it really painful .
i want the audience squirming in their seats .
"
" ok , that 's fine , but i want you to add bug guts .
"
" what does this scene do ?
character depth ?
but where 's the zaniness ?
i do n't see zany here .
if you ca n't make it zany , cut it !
"
the latter is the only explanation i can come up with for the absence of the thoroughly charming michelle trachtenberg for most of the movie .
michelle ( who plays penny , gadget 's niece ) shines in every scene she 's in , but unfortunately
she only gets about nine minutes of screen time .
my guess is that the rest is on the cutting room floor .
dabney coleman 's comedic talents are utterly wasted as chief quimby .
i kept expecting him to say or do something really funny and somehow save the film , but instead , he does the best he can with some really poor lines in a few unexceptional scenes .
he is thoroughly upstaged by cheri oteri as the " gidget bitch from hell " town mayor .
oteri 's
overly enthusiastic and continually self - congratulatory speech patterns and mannerisms were so much like portland , oregon 's own manic mayor vera katz that i had to wonder if the studio was n't poking fun at our fair town .
or , maybe all career politicians are like that .
i must say , matthew broderick does not stroll through inspector gadget as he did godzilla .
he appears to have some fun with the film , especially as the evil gadget .
rupert everett is entertaining as the maniacle claw .
joely fisher does fine as the zany scientist and even better as the zany carbon copy of herself .
her performance is one of the few things worth watching in the film .
d .
l . hughley plays the shuckin'-and - jivin ' vehicular side - kick , in a role that firmly sets emancipation back 20 years .
the dialog is . . .
let 's face it ,
it 's pretty bad .
the tag - line after a major set - piece battle is a faux pas that makes no sense in context .
a lot of the lines ( especially hughley 's ) appear to be made up as they go along , by people with little gift for ad - lib .
about three - quarters of the film is a somewhat unnecessary origin story for both gadget and claw .
gadget then spends the latter third of the movie trying to locate claw and having various altercations ( not really " battles " ) with the evil gadget .
penny does about a minute and a half of the detective work her character did every week in the cartoon .
let me rage here just for a minute .
michelle trachtenberg was an excellent choice for the penny character .
she 's utterly charming , and has excellent experience ( harriet the spy ) for the part of the pint - size detective .
why she is so underutilized
in this film is a real mystery .
the film loses a star for casting brilliance coupled with scripting ( or editing )
stupidity .
inspector gadget is missing the long , long stretches of potty humor that ( among other things ) made my favorite martian so unbearable , but it 's a very short movie , so perhaps something was cut at the last moment .
probably the best scenes in the film occur during the end credits .
the " evil sidekick support group " is especially worth seeing , and has an amazing number of cameo appearances for the few seconds it 's onscreen .
all in all , another bad live action film from the premere studio for bad live action films .
i wonder if disney uses the revenues for it 's generally money - making cartoons to produce these losers
.
but if true , why ?
if they 're trying for another mary poppins , they need to find a team that can produce one , and then give them a chance to do it .
Output: N