one of the best things about my job is that , every so often , a film still catches me by surprise .
"
spy kids " certainly did .
an adventure story aimed primarily at children ,
the movie is smart , zippy fun .
the production neither panders nor talks down to its audience .
the brother and sister at the center of the tale are believable , likable kids and their parents are ? get ready for this ? intelligent , capable and loving .
bathroom humor is kept to a minimum and the numerous well - staged action scenes avoid excessive violence .
what a relief it is to be able to review an all - ages film on its artistic merits and not its ethics .
consider the other pg rated " family friendly " movie in theaters now .
" see spot run " has a mother going out of town , leaving her son with an idiot neighbor .
body function humor abounds , including a slapstick bit that has the adult male lead repeatedly falling in dog poop .
what really disturbs me are the jokes that bookend the film .
the story begins with a police dog capturing a mobster and biting off one of his testicles in the process .
at the hospital , the doctors explain that they replaced the testicle with a metal ball and joke that the victim is lucky the dog did n't bit off the other one , because two metal replacement balls would clack together .
of course , the movie ends with the dog biting off the remaining testicle and shows prisoners laughing at the criminal as he clacks past their cells .
somebody clue me in ?
when did genital mutilation become funny ?
" spy kids " is a welcome antidote to the repellent " see spot run , " using imagination instead of cruelty and crudeness .
carmen ( alexa vega ) and her younger brother juni ( daryl sabara ) live in a beautiful seaside home with their parents , gregorio ( antonio banderas ) and ingrid cortez ( carla gugino ) .
mom and dad are a sultry couple devoted to their children .
what the kids do n't know is that they are also former spies .
once agents from different countries assigned to " erase " each other , they instead fell in love , married and retired to raise a family .
needless to say , they get drawn back to the business .
shortly into their first joint mission , they are captured and end up in the headquarters of fegan floop ( alan cumming ) , a foppish hybrid of willy wonka and pee wee herman who hosts juni 's favorite tv show .
but there is evil behind the scenes , as inventors prepare an army of robots disguised as children .
papa gregorio has the device necessary to radically increase the efficiency of the creatures and the bad guys will stop at nothing to get it from him .
back at home , " uncle " felix ( cheech marin ) shows up to reveal mom and dad 's secret to the kids .
after a brief respite at a safe house filled with enough cool gadgets for a dozen sharper image stores , carmen and juni set off to find their parents and save the world , zooming through the sea in a submarine pod that looks like a goldfish , while a slew of wicked people ( including teri hatcher ) chase them .
during the course of their adventures , they get to use jet packs , electroshock bubblegum and super - computer sunglasses .
they watch as secret agents are transformed into bizarre creatures with silly putty faces and used as background characters on floop 's tv show .
they deal with guards that have huge thumbs where their arms , legs and heads would normally be ( why are the guards so ineffective ? because they 're all thumbs ! )
they move from one colorful locale to another , including a nifty virtual reality room reminiscent of the holodeck from " star trek .
"
the storyline is silly and convoluted , but even at its most dense ,
it is easier to follow
than either " mission : impossible " movie .
director robert rodriguez ( " from dusk to dawn " ) maintains a frenetic pace , with the whole film clocking in at a mere 86 minutes .
a bit less action and a little more character development would have been nice , but he does provide enough quiet moments for viewers to become fully invested in the family .
alexa vega and daryl sabara
make an agreeable brother and sister team , squabbling the way kids do , but coming together when it counts .
antonio banderas and carla gugino are even better as the parents ; they quickly establish and maintain a great lusty chemistry while keeping their tongues properly in cheek during the action scenes .
even the usually irritating alan cumming has some nice moments ?
a virtual cloud - backed chat between his character and juni is one of the best segments in the film .
had rodriguez added a few more scenes like that , i would have enjoyed the film more ( and i definitely could have lived without the glaring product placement for a certain mc - ubiquitous company ) .
regardless , " spy kids " is a hoot , offering fun for adults and children alike .
and just think , they managed to do it without sacrificing a single testicle .
Output: P