if i were to plot a graph of year against movie - plot - ridiculity for = hollywood movies , you 'll probably see a line with constant gradient .
= now , if i were to plot that same graph for the movies that the michael = bay / jerry bruckheimer has made over the last 4 years , that line would be = exponential in growth .
the team started out with the will smith vehicle = bad boys which was no more than a 2hr long action - music - video , = nevertheless entertaining .
then came the rock , where audiences flocked = to see nicholas cage team up with sean connery against some terrorizing = general fighting over some stupid cause .
con - air was ridiculousy dumb in = its premise
but it did have fun moments , and who can forget the nursery
= rhyme sang by that psycho killer played by steve buscemi .
while these = movies worked because there was something better to cover - up the dirt , = armageddon
does not .
very much like deep impact , a meteor is heading towards earth and they = did n't realize it until 18 days from impact .
deep impact settled with = the modest meteor size as large as the city of new york but armageddon = just had to be bigger . . . .
well about the size of texas ( that kinda meteor = whould probably knock earth out of its orbit ! ) .
the panic of this =
sighting spurs the idea of landing people on the meteor , drill it then
= nuke it ( sounds familiar ) and who better to do such a job than harry = stamper ( bruce willis ) , your very own oil - driller extraordinaire and
= his team of macho - misfits , nursing the tagline ` there ai n't nothin' on = this planet that harry ca n't drill ! '
.
in that 18 days , harry 's group was = split into 2 teams , trained for deep - space flight and finally blasted = into space in with special drilling vehicles on 2 new space shuttles .
the main relationship drama of armageddon is formed within the = relationship of harry , a .
j . and grace .
to give you an idea , a .
j .
works = for harry , and loves grace , harry 's daughter .
the problem is , harry = hates to see his daughter hanging around some scruffy grunt like himself = for the rest of her life .
so while a .
j .
and harry struts it out , grace = is place in a position where she is unable to take sides , so she remains = seated in the nasa control tower , crying over both of them in about 80 % = of the movie .
the human elements this movie tries to inject proves to be nothing more = than just an excuse for more slow - mo 's and gold - tinted photography .
the = anguish of the world is potrayed with scenes of people praying , running = for their lives or just sitting still staring at the sky , sounds fine = right ?
i know ,
but it looks too out of place on screen , too staged .
if = you were to ask yourself , ` what 's the difference between armageddon and = a r&b music video ?
"
you 'd probably just said ` the music .
" .
not = surprising since michael bay is a child of that industry and has = actually managed to transpose his mtv skills to screen successfully .
his = foray into armageddon just proves that he does n't when to stop .
well there 's really nothing much to sum up here .
the = stock - aitken - waterman of hollywood movies have projected their art - form = into ridiculity , beyond the plane believability , where people still = accept even if they did n't believe .
deep impact was ridiculous in most = aspects and i believe the makers know this .
the thing is , they decided = to shroud myth and fantasy with a purely believable human tale of = suffering and coming in terms with ones problems , which ultimately = brought it above the ashes which it had initially put itself in .
= armageddon , is an overcrowded , loud , messy , preposterously manipulative = waste of money and deserves to remain in that same pile of ash . .
= 20 if you have planned to watched this over deep impact because of liv = tyler , bruce willis or the tagline " from the makers of ` the rock ' ! !
" . = please catch deep impact before it finishes its run , it may be the only = meteor worth watching in long - long time . if you have to see it , please = bring ear - plugs and some aspirins ( for the vertigo ) .
expect armageddon =
ld 's to retail at s$19 .
90 at carrefour come release time .
gee . . . .
. .
even = that 's not worth it !
Output: N