Fact1: assortment of people gather at countryside inn in preparation for infamous Cannonball Run, Fact2: sponsors find replacement drivers by next day, Fact3: old school rival has driving skills while working as parking valet, Fact4: skittish Italian porter named is forced to drive it by Flash, Fact5: Nelson spend most of time trying to catch flight to Los Angeles in to win by foul means
Output: An assortment of people gather at a countryside inn in preparation for the infamous Cannonball Run, an illegal threeday crosscountry race from Washington, D.C. to Santa Monica where the winner and five runnersup will receive 1 million. However, the hotheaded Washington Chief of Police Spiro T. Edsel Peter Boyle, along with his longsuffering sidekick Whitman Don Lake, arrests all of the drivers to prevent the race from happening. As a result, sponsors must find replacement drivers by the next day. Leo Ross Eugene Levy, seeing that his old school rival, Charlie Cronan John Candy, has driving skills while working as a parking valet, bullies him into driving his BMW. Ross also persuades Charlie to bring along Tiffany Donna Dixon, a dimwitted Marilyn Monroeesque actress. Vic DeRubis Joe Flaherty is a hitmanforhire sent to kill Alec Stewart Matt Frewer, an English deadbeat and compulsive gambler who has squandered money that he borrowed from loan sharks. Alec convinces Vic to ride with him, hoping to win the Cannonball Run and pay off the various mobsters. They team up in a Jaguar XJS. Lee Roberts Melody Anderson and Margaret Shari Belafonte take over a Ferrari Daytona Spyder after the driver they are trying to woo is arrested. MIT graduates into electronics and gadgets, they are tempted by the prize money and the challenge. When the driver of the Lamborghini is arrested, a skittish Italian porter named Valentino Rosatti Brian George is forced to drive it by Flash Art Hindle, a former policeman who wants the money for his own reasons. Nelson and Randolph Van Sloan Dick Smothers and Tom Smothers, two millionaires and the only drivers not arrested in the police sweep, enter in a Bentley Corniche convertible. They spend most of their time trying to secretly catch a flight to Los Angeles in order to win by foul means. Following all are a pair of television reporters, Heather Scott Mimi Kuzyk and Jack ONeill Tim Matheson, who get so caught up in the action that they decide to race their Ford news van. In hot pursuit is Edsel, who grows increasingly insane in his unsuccessful efforts to stop the racers. Edsel and his men manage to arrest Vic and Alec, who quickly escape and steal the police car. Edsel and Whitman chase after them in their Jaguar. At the race conclusion, Edsel and Whitman themselves win the Cannonball Run by driving the Jaguar across the finish line at Santa Monica Pier first – saving Alec, because as he points out to Vic; the winner is the car, not the driver – followed by Vic and Alec in their stolen police car. Charlie and Tiffany driving the BMW finish third, Lee and Margaret fourth, Heather and Jack fifth, Flash and Valentino sixth, with the Van Sloan brothers coming in last while riding on roller skis. The ending credits features the cast playfully driving bumper cars.