Fact1: Sheik Abdul ben Falafel is ordered by father to go back to America in to emblazon Falafel name as fastest in world, Fact2: ulcer does not prevent him from winning, Fact3: Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing teamed with JJ and Victor in first race as in-car physician, Fact4: Most of participants from first race are lured including JJ and Victor, Fact5: Blake and Fenderbaum are in financial trouble with Don Don Canneloni
Output: Having lost the first Cannonball Run race, Sheik Abdul ben Falafel Jamie Farr is ordered by his father Ricardo Montalban to go back to America and win another Cannonball Run in order to emblazon the Falafel name as the fastest in the world. When Sheik Abdul points out that there is no Cannonball Run that year, his father simply tells him to buy one. To make sure his ulcer does not prevent him from winning, the Sheik hires Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing Jack Elam, who teamed with JJ Burt Reynolds and Victor Dom DeLuise in the first race as his incar physician. Most of the participants from the first race are lured back, including JJ and Victor, who have taken jobs working with a flying stunt crew. In a subplot, Blake Dean Martin and Fenderbaum Sammy Davis Jr. are in financial trouble with Don Don Canneloni Charles Nelson Reilly, who in turn is in financial trouble with mob enforcer Hymie Kaplan Telly Savalas. After the Sheik manages to bail out Blake and Fenderbaum by handing one of Don Dons thugs a stack of cash, Don Don hatches a plot to kidnap the Sheik in an attempt to extort money from him. The race begins with JJ and Victor dressed as a US Army general and his driver, a private. They catch the attention of Betty Marilu Henner and Veronica Shirley MacLaine, who are dressed as nuns for a musical, but remain in character and hitch a ride with JJ and Victor when they think the guys could become overnight millionaires. They dont lose their habits until later. Other racers include Mitsubishi engineer Jackie Chan, teamed with a giant behind the wheel Richard Kiel in a car—a Mitsubishi Starion—able to go under water. In a red Lamborghini white at first with two greatlooking chicks in it as the cops chasing them continually say is the duo of Jill Rivers Susan Anton and Marcie Thatcher Catherine Bach. Another team Mel Tillis and Tony Danza is accompanied by an orangutan, who at times appears to be the driver. They are pulled over at one point by traffic cops Tim Conway and Don Knotts. JJ and Victor stop along the way to help a stranded soldier, Homer Lyle Jim Nabors. They also get much better acquainted with their passengers, Betty and Veronica, who change into something a little more comfortable. Don Dons enforcers including Henry Silva and Godfather film actors Alex Rocco, Abe Vigoda and Michael V. Gazzo continue to blunder along the way, with disastrous results. After Don Dons gang capture the Sheik, the racers band together to invade Don Dons Pinto Ranch. JJ, Victor, and Fenderbaum infiltrate it in drag, dressed as belly dancers. Others barrel in by car and rescue the Sheik, who is reluctant to leave, since he has his pick of women there. The three dancers and Blake go to their Leader Frank Sinatra to seek help, only to have him jump into the race himself. In the end, the Sheik bankrolls Don Dons Ranch and then declares that he is upping the stakes to 2 million for the winner. All jump into their vehicles and make a dash for the finish line, avoiding traffic patrollers on the way. The Sheik, as it turns out, loses yet again, this time blaming the doctor who rode with him for injecting him with an unknown substance. But he convinces his father that he will win the returntrip race, having hired the winner of this one. It turns out to be the orangutan with a penchant for destructive behavior and giving elderly ladies the middle finger.