Topic: parenting

Question: I think my daughter is stressing too much
When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.

Answer (from Albert NguyenWe are all on a journey that aims at being our best selves. ):
Sounds like you have a high achieving daughter! That's something to be proud of! Yet, as you're aware, your daughter's efforts to maintain such a high level of achievement is causing her to experience high levels of stress. I can only imagine how this is impacting her overall wellbeing and quality of life. And I agree how this may not feel normal - because truthfully, why would anyone want to accept this as normal? It's hard to see someone you care about suffering - and it's really natural for you to worry and question her behaviors. And just like it is natural for you to care and worry about someone that matters to you, it's quite natural for your daughter to worry and stress out about something that matters to her - in this case, her schoolwork. It's important to understand more about what she is going through and providing her the space to openly talk about her issues, concerns, and stress. This open and honest conversation can lead to opportunities to support her in navigating the terrains of her challenges. Some stress is good for us - but chronic stress can be detrimental.  It's vital that your daughter is developing and enhancing her survival skills with coping tools to effectively manage her stress so that she can continue achieving her target goals. And, as a parent, you are not alone. Supporting and raising a child is no easy task. There's a huge gap in our society when it comes to parenting - so please also give yourself a break and know that there is support for you as well.

Answer (from Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR):
It sounds like you are a very caring parent who is worrying about an intelligent, high-achieving daughter. It is hard to see our children struggle! What makes you think this is going to break her and that the stressing isn’t normal? Have you talked to her about your worries? How does she feel about seeing a doctor? I would first have a conversation with your daughter about your worries. Make sure to speak with her calmly and have an open discussion with her about what you are noticing and ask her how she is feeling and if she feels stressed to the point of visiting with a doctor. Maybe she needs an outlet to talk about her feelings and therapy could be helpful, or maybe she really values doing well in school and feels she can manage the stress without speaking to someone. Either way, she needs a parent she can feel comfortable venting to, who will let her talk without interruption or judgement. It sounds like you love your daughter so much and you want her to be okay. Tell her that and get her feedback. But ensure you don’t make a conversation with her about you and your anxieties. The conversation needs to be about her and how she is feeling. All my best to you both!

Answer (from Kaleb Thorshov):
It would probably be helpful to connect her to a counselor rather than a doctor as a doctor can only prescribe medication to treat the symptoms and is unlikely to be able to affect the underlying problem.

Answer (from Danielle PalmerRelationship & Individual Counseling):
Perspective is everything. I know it is "silly" to you, but I can't help but wonder if it is much more for her. Sometimes when we "overreact" it is a manifestation of something much larger: a feeling that has been neglected or a worry that hasn't been addressed. It is healthy to learn how to effectively cope with stress. How do we handle life when it feels overwhelming? Developing coping tools to process emotions instead of dismissing them until they "bubble up" again.

Answer (from Carol MelvilleYoung adult and teens therapy):
In addition to academic stress, teens are facing multiple stressors in their lives, it can be social stress. Teens place a high value on their social lives. It’s part of their developmental stage. Finding friends, keeping their friendships can be stressful at times. World events such as school shootings, acts of terrorism, and natural disasters also worry teens. If there are major lifestyle changes or traumatic events that can also be overwhelming and confusing for the developing teens. As parents, it is important to show your emotional support for their struggles. Having open communications can also help them process distressed emotions. In many cases, it can be helpful to have a therapist they can talk to. By teaching them resilience and self-care, you’re teaching a toolbox for any stress they may face.

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
She could be an empath or dealing with imbalances in her energy field from all the pressure.Very little info on her date of birth.  Outside evaluation to help her see or direct her on Who you can become is a great start .  you can check out my services and test you can order for her.

Answer (from Tara Green, LCSWFeel alive again; solution focused and goal oriented therapy):
It sounds like your daughter is under a lot of pressure! Sometimes the students who are the highest achievers tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves to stay at a 4.0 and to maintain an image they have of themselves or think they should have of themselves! This part is not abnormal as many children this age find themselves in this situation! School has become very competitive and it is impacting our youth! You are right to be concerned that all  the stress is not healthy for her and you don't want her to burn out.  Try to get her to talk to you or another trusted adult about her feelings so she can work through some of the stressors she is feeling in her life and learn appropriate coping skills to help manage her feelings.

Answer (from Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind):
Great question. Hopefully you received your answer. I would get her to her Pediatrician to rule out medical issues and if the Pediatrician says that nothing medically is wrong with her, then it has to do with mental health issues, so, yes, get in with someone for help, not just for her but also for you to help her when she "freaks out."

Answer (from Philippe BowerHealing with Philippe):
First, I want to acknowledge the love and care you have for your daughter. Second, as I am reading through your posting I want to share that often when our children seem to be stressing about "silly" things it can represent deeper feelings such as anxiety, depression, and other similar issues. My recommendation would be to seek out a counselor who could afford a "safe" and "nurturing" environment in which your child can share the deep concerns fueling her emotions. Namaste

Answer (from Kennedy McLeanTrauma Specialist, Therapist in Private Practice):
I would certainly suggest that you get her to speak to someone. What seems silly to you may not be to her and it is better to give her an outlet to deal with her stress than to have it continue.