Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor):
Here's what I'm already picking up on from you: 1) you are motivated to advocate for your needs, 2) you value connecting with your therapist in some form, and 3) you have at least a basic understanding of what you want/need from therapy.  Finding a therapist that fits can be a difficult task.  Every counselor has their own style and some just tend to mesh well with certain personalities--factors beyond our control.  If you look at it in terms of specialties, many therapists will identify those on their company's websites and/or during an intake.  It is important to know what your therapist is competent in because you are sacrificing so much time, energy, and finances into the process!Figuring out if your counselor is a match for the issues you present with can be relatively quick to discover (usually this happens during intake when the counselor informs the client about their areas of expertise). On the other hand, it may take a few sessions to learn whether or not you feel a connection with your counselor.  In the research we have on clinical outcomes, it is shown over and over again that the relationship is key--treatment techniques alone play a very small role in client change when the counselor-client bond is lacking.  I wonder if maybe there is a fear here that your therapist may not understand you or may guide you in the wrong direction.  When I have a client with these fears, it's crucial we process their expectations of and goals for therapy, as well as realistic ways I can help support them in those goals that fit their individual needs.  You may find that some therapists don't meet your needs and that's OK.  It's normal to feel discouraged about therapy not working out, but it's important to continue to search for the best match for you.

Answer (from Nykke GrunsteinMeeting the Needs of People In Need):
It is not a matter of training your therapist, they should now how to illicit the needed information from you to help you.

Answer (from Lucia SmithTherapy For People With Anxiety):
It's kind of like an audition.  You need to find someone who you feel comfortable with and respect.  Many therapists provide short, free, consultations.  That is a good way to see if they seem to understand and empathize with you in a way that puts you at ease.  If you have specific issues that you need to work on. look for someone who specializes in what is troubling you.  The therapist should be able to provide evidence-based treatment and should discuss with you why they think this is the best way to proceed.  Every counseling client should feel free to have input on their goals and desired outcomes.

Answer (from RUTH SANTOS HOWETrained Telemental Health Provider):
I think the most important to be the right therapist to you, is being able to make the click. It means to combine my years of education and training with my personal experiences, and how those could help you to figure it out your exploration about yourself, help you process them in the way that you may be able to learn how to deal with life's difficulties. On the other side, that would be important in your process, is that you can trust in me as one who has been learning for my own process of life. Also, I have been in your place as a counselee, and I know how important is to get help. I was once divorced and I understand the pain of loss. I was a victim of domestic violence and I am a survivor. I am multicultural, I am multiracial married, I am a mother of adult children, I understand the development process from the cradle to the marriage, and have watched them grow in their careers. I have values and principles rooted in the knowledge of divine wisdom and that life has much more meaning when we live a mindfulness life.

Answer (from Leah ElvitskyHelping you thrive and not just survive.):
If your therapist is attentive and compassionate to what you are sharing then you will know you have a true connection with him or her and that he or she is the right match for you. Having a therapist who has a good location and inviting office is also a good sign that you have the right one!

Answer (from Christianne PortaUnderstand. Heal. Grow):
When you find the right therapist, you will feel understood on a deeper level.  You'll feel that they not only understood what you were saying, but that they were also able to catch the "in between the lines" part and put into words what you have not been able to.  The relationship with your therapist should be collaborative, there should be a fundamental element of safety and trust.  A strong relationship with your therapist takes time to cultivate, but by the second or third session, you'll know if that therapist genuinely see's the world from your perspective and has a plan to get on how they will support your growth through this journey.

Answer (from Kayla MooreCounseling for Innovative Millennial Professionals and Couples in Tacoma, WA.):
The most important agent of change in therapy is your relationship with your therapist. It is so important for you to find a therapist that you trust and feel comfortable enough to just lay everything out there and be vulnerable with. Therapy is really building a safe and healthy relationship with a professional that can then help guide you in some of the most intimate and emotional parts of your life. This relationship does take time to build, but usually you can get a sense of a therapist's personality and approach from their bio and website. Once you have found someone that you think you could really connect with, then it's about looking at do they have the expertise you need. Do they have training in relationship counseling or in working with anxiety, depression, or trauma? It is important to find an expert in the field so you are getting the best care possible...just like if you were to go to a general family doctor versus a specialist. I hope that is helpful!

Answer (from Jennifer Barajas, MS, LPCE-Counseling so you can access counseling where you are in life.):
You know have the right therapist if:Your counselor specializes in what you are seeking help for or they have experience with treating people with similar issues.They are ethical and are able to understand your culture or religious norms.They are licensed in your state.They are able to provide you treatment that is tailored to your needs so that you can meet your goals for therapy.They are non-judgmental and can show empathy to you.They can meet you were you are in your journey of healing and understand you.The location of the office or use of technology to hold sessions is something that you are comfortable with.Recognize that a relationship with a counselor is like a relationship with any other person, sometimes you mesh well and sometimes you do not mesh well. A counselor should never take any offense if you do not feel like a good fit with the counselor, just be honest with your counselor about how you are feeling about the relationship. If you feel the need to change counselors, feel the freedom to change counselors as you will get more from therapy if you feel like you make a good team.To "train" your therapist:Be honest about your needs, expectations, barriers and about your situation.Know thyself and share that with your counselor. Create attainable goals for yourself with the help of the counselor.Set the pace that you are comfortable with.Feel comfortable to share an agenda for each session.