Topic: self-esteem

Question: How can I learn to love and like myself and what's in the mirror?

Answer (from Amanda WallingsfordGenuine, caring, and experienced therapist looking forward to supporting you through your journey of growth):
For some people, it really is about "learning" to love and like yourself.  Learning this often starts with understanding what gets in the way of you liking or loving yourself.  And more often than not, it is the messages our brain sends that have an extremely powerful affect on how we view ourselves.  The brain is very powerful in tricking us that we are ugly, or dumb, or not worthy, and so on.  But what is amazing and beautiful, is that our brain has great capacity to be re-wired to no longer accept the negative messages but instead replace them with more realistic and more loving messages.  Seeing a therapist/counselor can be a great resource to help you learn to fight those messages.

Answer (from Emily ForsytheHelping clients be their most authentic selves):
I'll offer two tools to consider: a bar and a puzzle piece. (What?!) Most people compare themselves to others - ie: I'm not as good looking as Jaime, I'm not as cool as Corey~ the person you might do better to look at is you. What cool thing did I do today that I didn't do yesterday? how did I do my hair in that picture that made me feel a little bit better looking? Moving the bar away from others and towards yourself can be helpful in building self-esteem. Another tool that can be helpful is that puzzle piece: I can't think of anyone who loves everything about themselves: starting from the smallest part of yourself, what is one attribute you DO like about you? (Psychology has long recognized that it's far easier to come up with a list of dislikes than likes, especially when it comes to ourselves or our circumstances) Maybe you have really great toes. Maybe you have an infectious grin. Maybe you're really fantastic at 80's trivia. Build a list of those small things, those puzzle pieces of great things about you, and in time, you might find you like all of you. Best of luck!