Topic: intimacy

Question: My boyfriend is always accusing me of not loving him
I love him so much, and I don't know what to do.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Does he tell you a reason as to why he feels you don't love him?Ask him this so you will clearly know his definition of "love".

Answer (from Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT):
Hi Savannah, This is a pretty common issue; one person feels that they are doing a great job of being loving, yet their partner doesn't feel loved. There's a great book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. He explains that there are five main ways to give and receive love, but we don't necessarily all speak the same "love language" as our partner. You might feel that by going out to work and earn money, you're being loving, but if your partner's main love language is quality time, you're not hitting that bulls eye because you're not home! The five languages are words, quality time, acts of service, gifts and touch. I recommend couples grab this book, sit down and figure out what their love languages are, and then...slowly...you start to ask for the kind of love you want, and you start to speak your partner's language a bit better. You may never be fluent, but you can get better. The most important part is to understand each other better and to know that there's nothing wrong with either of you, you're just speaking different languages. You can help your boyfriend to get really specific about how he wants to be loved. I bet he just needs you to "speak his language".  :)