Topic: self-esteem

Question: I Sometimes I feel like I hate myself
I feel like I hate myself physically and emotionally sometimes. How can I start accepting myself and be more confident?

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
Sending you positive vibes ✨ Self Esteem is your new goal. I have a program that is amazing tool to start. And with talk therapy you could move forward to get to the "Claim It" moment also.  Getting to know You! Til then.  Here is a tip.  Coloring.  Adult coloring books.  I have a popular one if you are an upcoming Goddess. Or any outlet like a Gratitude Journal.  If you are interested in some worksheets to get you started contact me. And if you want more self help for Self Esteem please check out this BOOK

Answer (from Ashton SullivanDialectical Behavior Therapy and EMDR):
Aside from seeing a therapist to help you work through the feelings and events that might have resulted in the self-hatred, I recommend a few things:1.)  Draw a line down the page in a journal to make two columns.  In the first column, write down your negative thoughts.  On the other side in the second column, write down a different statement to challenge that thought.  Pretend you are a judge trying to prove the negative thought wrong.  For example, you might change "I wasn't good enough" to "it wasn't about me" or "I'm actually really good at x, y, and z."  2.)  Write down a new positive self statement each day and focus on each one on your list for 2-3 minutes (more if you can- the more the better).  Meditate on the truth of each of these statements.  This method has been proven to be effective in improving self esteem.3.)  Practice non-judgmental awareness.  Be curious about your experience.  Notice your emotions and where they are coming from.  My guess would be that if you're hating yourself then there is probably some shame, guilt, sadness, and/or anger that needs to be addressed.  These emotions might fit the facts or not.  If they do, here are some things you can do (if not, then practice the methods above):Shame: Fits the facts if a person or group of people you care about will reject you if they knew the truth.  Try talking to someone who will not reject you about what you're ashamed of.  Be VERY careful to pick someone who will validate you and not cause more shame (a therapist will help with this).Guilt: Fits the facts when you've done something that violates your own values or moral code.  Try making amends if you've hurt someone.  Practice self-validation (or talking with someone who will validate you) and forgiving yourself.  Use it as motivation to making a commitment to change your behavior if necessary.Sadness: Fits the facts when you lost or will be losing someone or something you care about.  Practice letting yourself feel sad and grieve.  Maybe process it with someone who supports you or through a creative outlet like art or writing.Anger:  Fits the facts when someone or something has threatened you or a loved one's life or well-being.  Anger motivates us to protect ourselves and our loved ones.  Practice setting boundaries and seeking justice if necessary.4.)  Practice self compassion.  Imagine someone you care about is going through the same thing.  What encouraging or loving words would you say to them?  Write that down.  Now read it back to yourself.5.)  Building mastery is a great skill for confidence and improving your mood.  That means doing things that give you a sense of confidence like learning or practicing a new skill.  6.)  Step out of your comfort zone and do things that you're afraid of that are not harmful, like participating in Toastmasters to practice public speaking.  Give yourself permission to suck and try not to judge yourself.These things can be very helpful, but there may be more work to do to really get to the root of the problem and heal.  This is pain trying to get your attention.  Don't ignore it.  Find support and give yourself grace.

Answer (from Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide):
You are valid and you are enough, starting to actually believe that within yourself will be key!  Releasing the thought that you are unworthy will be crucial also!  What are some activities, hobbies, crafts, talents you have?  Remind yourself that you have great qualities.   Do not allow others' opinions of you to penetrate your psyche.  Often what others say is about them more so than about us.  What lights you up, excites you?  What brings you joy? Do more of those things.  Where did the thought or the feeling of hating yourself physically and emotionally begin? Here is a helpful video  Where Does Self-Esteem Come From

Answer (from Danielle PalmerRelationship & Individual Counseling):
I think it would be helpful to process these emotions with a professional. You may find it helpful to discuss what it is you feel, where these emotions and thoughts may come from, and start looking into what ay be helpful in improving the way you think of and speak to yourself. One way many professionals do this is through the process of developing self-compassion.

Answer (from Audrey ONealBi-lingual Psychotherapist and HeartMath Certified Practitioner):
One of the ways that can help you practice acceptance  of self is by using self-compassion. Researcher, Kristin Neff recommends that taking a daily self-compassion break can be beneficial in that it can transform harboring feelings of isolation such as those hating yourself , to an experience of connection. A self-compassion break consists of placing your hand over your heart and acknowledging that you are having a difficult time believing in yourself but that you recognize you are not alone as suffering is ubiquitous so you are connecting with the rest of humanity. You can then say encouraging words to yourself either silently or out loud such as "May I be led every day to recognize my strengths and to love myself" or "May I find peace within myself and strengthen my self-belief." Apart from self-compassion, I would encourage you to keep a self-esteem journal in order to engage in expressive writing and write about your strengths so that you can start to build self-acceptance.

Answer (from Briana ThomasFamily and Other Relationships ):
Sometimes we can be our own toughest critic. Acceptance starts first with acknowledging the things that you currently do well, positive qualities, etc. Spend time with those in your life who are supportive of you. Ask them to also contribute to your list of positive qualities. Acknowledge those qualities as often as you can. Next start small with the things you’d like to see differently. Identify a small step you can start that will contribute in shifting how you view your physical and emotional self. Ex.) Identify a hobby that brings you joy.

Answer (from Jennifer GerlachYour Story Matters):
You've already taken the first step. You want to not hate yourself. Self-acceptance is hard! And it's on a spectrum. On one side we have self-hate, on the other extreme; self-love. And then, there is all this stuff in the middle. It kind of looks like thisAnd working toward self-love often means moving around through all these. Becoming aware of your emotions, exploring the parts of you you that easier and harder to accept, self-kindness, self-forgiveness, self-compassion and ultimately self-love. It is a recovery process and has to be an active thing each day. Meeting with a counselor can give you a partner in that process. Your counselor can also help you to recognize pieces that may be more difficult to see from your eyes as they have an outside view. And with self-acceptance, confidence comes naturally although you may need to practice behaviors that show assertiveness, confidence and boundaries that protect you. Wishing you the absolute best with this!