Topic: workplace-relationships

Question: How can I cope with work related stress better?
I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.
   What can I do to manage my stress?

Answer (from Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR):
It is so hard to feel undervalued on the job! To be given so much work and not to get paid for it is unfortunately a headache many experience. Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with loved ones and ways of relaxing when you are not on the job, and taking care of yourself (aka eating well, getting enough sleep, etc). When one ensures that their physical needs are met, they give themselves the best chance for also functioning best mentally and emotionally. Think to yourself how you best take care of yourself and make sure when you are off from work you do those things. For example, do you enjoy reading, exercising, or maybe having a milkshake? If you do, make sure you make time to do those things! Whatever it is you enjoy please utilize self-care and do them. As long as it is not an activity that will harm you or anyone else, make time for taking care of yourself when you are not on the job. There are also skills you can learn to manage any symptoms of anxiety, and that a competent therapist can go over with you, should you decide to try counseling. And while you are doing all of that, you could also search for other jobs. Best of luck !

Answer (from Reggie Smith, LPC, CTP, CCATPTexas Couples, Anxiety, Trauma therapist):
Hola. I understand.  I worked 27 years in a sales & management environment in corporate before transitioning towards my area of purpose.  I hear a couple different things here.  One, I hear that your job is stressful (I know, thanks Capt Obvious).  Secondly, that you are not compensated based on your appraisal of your contributions, Third, and maybe the core or at least closest to it - not being recognized or seen for your contributions.  Did I get that right?  if so, then I see the link between being demoralized and being stressed/having anxiety.  Be curious and ask yourself, "What irks me the very most?", "What is the one thing that could be done that would help me feel better" Typically money is not the root of many workplace issues. Often its direct supervisor, not being valued (ding?!), harassment, misaligned values, favoritism, and then money does come up.  As a mental health professional, we believe in empowering the individual to have increased agency over their situations/lives.  You can practice and then bring up the issue to your supervisor(s) but first chat through it with a good friend or counselor or coach.  They can give some specific things to do based on more detail of your situation.

Answer (from Gay Lee Schumann):
First, look at your own history.  At times, past trauma can make the current situation worse.  If you have ever experienced trauma, you may want to try addressing the traumatic experience directly so that you can see clearly to deal with the current situation.In addition, consider how your current boss, co-workers and/or company may be similar to your home life as a child.  Is your boss or the company like one or both of your parents?  Is a co-worker similar to a family member?  Could you be perceiving a work-related situation or a person at work the same as a family member because their words, actions or looks remind you of that person?  Ultimately, after asking yourself these questions and providing honest answers, it will help you to determine whether you are dealing with issues of the past or whether you are in a current toxic work enviornment.  From there, you can decide what you want for your future.

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
Is this what you have always seen yourself as?  I understand.  Do you have a cushion to fall back on? Your health is not worth this if it is making your life a complete mess.   Not sure of your situation and responsibilities but you might consider a different path if you can.  You might want to talk to a counselor or try some energy work to help with this.

Answer (from Pamela SuraciBuild on your strengths, grow in your challenge areas and improve your life!):
Ugh!  We spend so many hours at work, so if it's a tough environment it can really drag you down.  Is this your "dream job" gone sour or a "just pay the bills" deal that has gotten stale?  It makes a big difference in terms of next steps.For example, if this job is a step on the way to a bigger goal, it might be time to assess whether you need to be moving along to then next phase.  Have you learned what you needed to learn to make this a helpful experience?  Or do you sense there is more to learn, but you feel stuck in some way? If this current job is part of a bigger plan, then you need to practice some good self care, set up ways to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing, and make sure you are including some "carrots" along the way.  That might mean spending some time each week networking (preferably live but online works well too) with peers in similar situations (entrepreneur groups, skill building trainings, etc).  Big dreams require small steps, but we all need support along the way.If , however, this is "just a job", then you really have to reassess your situation.  If you are burned out and not getting paid your worth then  look around for other opportunities.  You are employed, not owned.  You mentioned anxiety, and while I don't want to minimize the very real issues anxiety presents, is it possible that some of your anxiety can be seen as "revving your engine"  and readying you to move on?  Or is it that pervasive feeling  of never being able to finish your work, feeling like you will be "in trouble", or dreading every single moment of your workday?  The first is a potentially positive motivator, the second is just bad for you.   See the difference?In order to feel any satisfaction with your job, it needs to be financially rewarding (to a level that makes sense), be a good atmosphere to learn, be supportive and/or be a step on the way to a bigger plan you have.  If your job isn't fulfilling any of those criteria, you need to move on.  And finally, if the only reason you have this job is to pay the bills, and you truly see no way around keeping your current position for now, remember why you are there - this is a job, not a family.  You rent your brain and body to your employer, not your heart and soul.  Those belong to you and you are responsible for feeding them.  That means good self-care, making sure you have social engagement (face-to-face, not just online), move your body, feel the sun on your face daily, creating ways to refresh your body and mind and generally taking care of your whole being.Discomfort exists for a reason - it primes us for change, gives us the necessary motivation to take reasonable risks, and pesters us until we do so.  The first step is to figure out what change is realistic, and take action.