Topic: intimacy

Question: How do I deal with a lack of intimacy and partner's addiction to solo sex and porn?
I believe my partner has a masturbation and porn problem. He masturbates daily, even when I am lying in bed sleeping beside him. We have sex once a week. He is rough and worries about his needs. He never touches me, and treats me like a porn star, wanting to finish on my face or chest.

Answer (from Frank TheusMA, LPC, NCC, CSAT):
The comments here from the other therapists are "spot on". As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist-Candidate I'm convinced your partner's acting out creates trauma for you. Your partner's addiction is NOT your fault and his recovery IS his responsibility. What's paramount is for you to get immediate help from an experienced therapist who understands trauma as result of the partner's/spouse's problematic sexual behaviors. Your needs, safety, and the establishment of reasonable boundaries is vital to your well-being. I wish you the very best.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) https://www.iitap.com/, 2) https://www.sanon.org/, 3) http://www.cosa-recovery.org/

Answer (from Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT):
There is a lot of information out there right now about how porn is harmful...to a person's brain chemistry, to a relationship and one's ability to love, and to how men see women and sex in general. Your partner demonstrates a clear disregard for your needs. There is evidence, as you suggest, that there is addiction here. I recommend seeing a therapist who can help you sort out where to go from here.

Answer (from Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy):
It sounds like your in quite a rough place, my recommendation just based on what you type might warrant a visit to a psychotherapist to resolve what may be going on, I am not entirely sure but it sounds like he might have a bit of a sex addiction problem. One thing you need to ask yourself is "Am I happy?", "Do I feel loved?", these are deep questions, but the answers to those questions will give you a direction to travel in.