Topic: relationship-dissolution

Question: How do I get over a person I fell in love with?
I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before.    I feel like I don't want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered "wrong" by a lot of people.
   How can I get myself to just move on?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Love is a deep and nuanced feeling so start to accept that a simple cutting of emotional connection isn't possible.Honor the love you felt for this person.  Acknowledgement of your love feelings will most likely help you find a dignified way to accept them while at the same time slowly developing new ways to live your life in a way which does not include the actual person.Your feelings will always belong to you.  The newly discovered sense of how love feels will be with you and positively influence all your relationships.  There is a benefit to feeling loved even if it is not forever in this lifetime.Also, your partner opened your feelings, the feelings which showed in fact already were within you.  He opened the door and this door belongs to you.I hope you will find ways to appreciate having been loved and to be open that your feelings of being loved are a positive influence in all your relationships.

Answer (from Sally highNo more coping skills. It's time to eliminate fear.):
There is no wrong or right way to define a relationship. I believe each relationship we are in is an opportunity to expand and to know self on a deeper level. We are conditioned to believe that we are not valued, or worth much without the confirmation of others and the world around us. Give yourself time and try to not go to those who are toxic and enjoy the drama of others lives as s way to avoid looking at themselves.

Answer (from David KleinHumanistic, LGBT-Affirmative Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples):
Well, there is some good news and not-so-good news. The good news is that people are capable of moving on from relationships, even if the person showed them a sort of love that they've never felt they've had, or deserved, before. Sometimes, even just the fact that this has happened for them can, eventually (see below) lead them to seek out love again, because they now believe they will be able to have that again.So, the not-so-good news though is that one can not "just move on." I'd even venture to say that the pressure you may be putting on yourself to just move on and out of this yucky hole of feelings that you are in is actually too much pressure and adding to the yucky feelings as they are. Instead, try thinking of getting past these feelings as grieving over the loss of someone (even though someone didn't die, there is still a significant loss you are experiencing) and therefore how essential it is to allow yourself to grieve, to feel whatever feelings (of anger, or sadness, or something else) that you are feeling. Often, it is really helpful to speak those feelings (I recommend professionals in this case) who can help you feel like you are not pathological for this struggle, and instead that it is completely normal. Love is a crazy thing, and the feelings can get very confusing. But, the last stage of grieving is "acceptance," and it is very challenging to get there if you skip over denial, anger, bargaining, and depression.

Answer (from Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,):
First sending your 💕.  You need to forgive yourself and try to start by working on self care and self love.  I highly recommend speaking to me to see what is surrounding you at this time.  There are many tools that can self help you to start the process to moving forward and break the " Hold ON's".  But understanding first about how and why this happened.  Maybe there is some soul connection or a pattern in your energetic system that needs to be worked on.  Be Grateful that you are okay and recognizing that you have learned a little bit more of YOU.  Also if you want you can check out this BOOK to see if there is anything in there that may help.

Answer (from Emily ForsytheHelping clients be their most authentic selves):
What if we think about this in metaphor: imagine a dirt road suddenly paved over - where before it was small, once paved, it was faster, smoother and suddenly you, the driver, knew what real driving could feel like. Then your road got a pothole: now, every time you drive, you hit that hole, and it only seems to get worse, the more you drive over it.  Until that hole is patched - until you choose to fill your heart with either love for another or love for yourself - you might find it challenging to 'keep driving on your road'. Instead of letting go of how you felt, try to hang on to that feeling, just direct it inwards: you've shared you're capable of feeling strongly for another, surely, you're worthy of that same regard? All the best~

Answer (from Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide):
What about him do you miss most?  What part of those things can you self-generate, give those things to yourself.  Working thru the grief of losing this relationship.   Perhaps review this video and see what comes up.  Also, reviewing your feelings around scarcity- is he the only person who can be a healthy partner to you? When thoughts of him come up, redirect your thoughts versus letting thoughts of him consume your life.  Some have found support in engaging in acupuncture and emotional freedom technique (EFT) also building up your feelings of self-worth, and self-love outside of him and your former relationship. Evicting someone living in your head rent free

Answer (from Earl LewisRelationship Expert):
One of the most challenging areas for people to deal with is getting over the the person you have loved so much. It's a catch 22. You know mentally that it's not healthy to think about them. However, your feelings are still there. Moving on is tough. It takes time for feeling to go away. That's the thing, it's not the person you're trying to get over, it's the feeling and the idea of them that is that makes it difficult. You've learned a lot from the relationship and time will help. Activity will also help. Are you actively living your life? If not, go out and maybe it's time to date and find new love. Grow with new relationships and it will help create focus on someone who may even be better than the love you previously experienced. You can do it!Earl Lewiswww.RelationshipsGoneRight.Com