Topic: intimacy

Question: How do I hold onto my marriage when there is no common bond or intimacy?
We can't hold a conversation together. The blame is always pointed at me. We have no intimacy.

Answer (from Kelly Garrity, LMFTCreative Counseling for OC Women and their Families):
It is hard to hold onto a partner that isn't available emotionally or is lashing out when you face any kind of coflict between you.The conditions needed for healthy intimacy can not grow when there is an absence of common ground or lack of a sense of "safe space" between you.Learning to nurture yourself in this type of situation is vital and comes first.  If there are to be better conditions to grow the kind of relationship you both feel safe and valued in, it needs to be a shared mission.But healthy intimacy begins within, and you CAN grow and thrive no matter the willingness or emotional availability of another.  I recommend you find a good guide to walk this path back home to a deeper peace in you.  If the relationship can be healed, more will become clear as you feel more ease and harmony within yourself.For more resources related to healthy inimacy, I invite you to visit http://www.counseling4ocwomen.com

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
How recent is your awareness of a lack of intimacy?If this is recent or sudden then the best road forward is have a conversation with your partner on the way you feel.Depending on the result and whether you'd like to try this conversation several times in order to see your partner's receptivity to explain their side, you will know how likely the lack of intimacy will continue.If you are living with a lack of intimacy for what feels like a long time, such as a few years, and your partner is unwilling to talk with you about it, then you may have reached the end of the road of intimacy returning.Whether or not you'd want to live this way becomes the next question.