Topic: anger-management

Question: Why do I get angry so easily?
Sometime when small thing happen, like losing a comb, I get furious. I even start throwing things. Do I have a problem?

Answer (from Damalie NamaleHealing relationships):
You easily get angered because you haven't trained your mind to ration how your brain interprets the events you experience. As a result you act after an event happens because you do not ration and question to find out if your interpretations of events are rational and legitimate.Anger is an emotion that communicates to us that something is not right and we feel threatened and have to fight back in self defense. All it takes is one event to be trigged and the rest is history. Anger management can help you identify what triggers you so that you can train yourself to be able to interpret events in a rational way.Anger is not the problem, it is what we do when we get angry that is the problem.

Answer (from Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR):
It’s important to think to yourself about what it is about losing the comb that gets you so angry. What are the thoughts that go through your mind when things that are out of your control (like losing the comb) happen? It’s okay to be upset, but some self-awareness about what’s going on to cause those feelings is important, and only you can know what thoughts are going through your mind when you find yourself becoming angry. Is it that you feel badly about yourself when these small things happen? If that’s the case then you need to work on your self-esteem. Is it that you are frightened when you don’t know where something is and that causes the anger? Try to identify the thought behind the feeling. As for the throwing things when you become angry- please know, it’s okay to feel angry. Feeling the emotion of anger isn’t necessarily a problem. Any emotion is okay to have. It’s how we express our emotions that sometimes becomes the problem. Throwing things can be a dysfunctional way of handling anger (like if the things you throw break, or if someone sees you throwing things and becomes scared) and it would be a good idea to work with a therapist or anger management coach to brainstorm some healthier ways to express your feelings.

Answer (from Linda MullinKicking anxiety and depression to the curb!):
Anger does have its place.  When anger is experienced often or the magnitude of it does not fit the scenario, such as your losing comb, the question becomes, what does losing that comb mean to you?  In the very split second that you have realized the comb is missing, there is a reaction that occurs within you, accompanied by an image or thought that like lightening flashes so quickly that you may not be aware what it is.  As Sherry noted below, awareness.  Awareness is fundamental.  Becoming aware of ourselves and what is happening internal that sparks it off.  The next time you feel angry from a "small thing", stop and ask yourself, why am I angry that this is lost?  Find out what you are thinking or how you are speaking to yourself.  You will become aware and once you are aware, steps can be taken to alter the experience for the better. A professional can assist with that!

Answer (from Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor):
I don't like the word "problem".  It is such a strong word.  However I would say that you have an issue that needs to be addressed and controlled before it directed at the wrong person and gets totally out of control.  I have found that anger management classes has been helpful for my clients.  Try and see if it will help.  You will be surprised at what you learn about your self.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Anyone who asks whether or not they have a problem, usually feels at least partly, that they do have a problem.Your answer to the question is what matters.Since you already understand that your reaction is overstated to the events which trigger them, the reactions you're having are more than likely anger that is leftover from past events, either in the near or distant past.Be aware, consider, reflect on  how you usually handle feeling angry.  Based on your description here, it is quite likely that the anger you show toward what you call "little things" reflect anger at much bigger matters that are uncomfortable and not easy to understand.Knowing more about the more significant matters causing frustration for you, may very likely decrease reacting angrily toward smaller matters.