Topic: anxiety

Question: How can I be less afraid of people?
I am a female and in my early teens. I don't want to feel afraid of people. When I meet someone, I know that they are okay, but I still feel afraid.

Answer (from Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor):
First off, this is totally expected for someone your age!  You are just moving into the phase of life where your "job" is to figure out your identity and who you are.  It's no surprise you are afraid of people, if that's the way you feel you are struggling.If you are worried about people harming you, that paints a different picture.  Do you struggle to trust your evaluations of others?  What makes someone safe (ish) vs. potentially dangerous?  Sitting down and coming up with some ways you have done this in the past or qualities of the people you trust now can help to disentangle what means safety and what means danger. We can never truly know how someone will behave, but if we always choose to never trust, then we miss out on connection as well.  Your brain is still growing so the great news is it's so flexible to change.  It remains flexible for the entire lifespan, but the teen years are really the last time it's so moldable.  If there's someone in your life you can trust, reaching out for help can make how you are feeling less intense.  It's never fun to deal with everything by yourself.  Hope this helps!

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Maybe the problem is learning to trust yourself to not be afraid other people!Reflect on what you believe would increase your trust of believing your own judgement on whom to trust.If you've had any type of violation during your growing up years or witnessed someone in your family be violated, emotionally, physically or through some terrible accident or incident, then you may hesitate to believe other people are safe and not to be feared.Give yourself plenty of time and reassurance that as long as you are making sincere effort to increase you comfort around other people, eventually you will succeed.