Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Amy BelvalChatterSoupe! Helping Worried Women Unwind):
Hello and thanks for your question! It's important to have the right therapist. I encourage you to start by checking out the website of the therapist. Their blog articles will reflect the kind of work they do and the approach they may take while working with you. If there's an email listed, go ahead and reach out. Ask the particular questions that are on your mind. Share a little of what you are looking for in a therapist. Are you a goal-direct, solution-focused individual who is looking for someone to listen and ask questions? Are you less self-directive and desire a therapist who can give you the consistent push to move forward? Are you interested in intertwining certain theory approaches? Maybe a cognitive-base or experiential? Art therapy or engaging in exercise while talking? Your therapist is out there. It's OK to try out a therapist for a session or two. Interview them as they interview you. It's also OK to change therapists; ask your present therapist for a referral. He or she should be willing to provide you with names of other providers and there's no shame in asking for it. You deserve to work with someone who fits your style!I imagine there's already enough things happening in your life if you are searching for a therapist. Do you really want to "train" your therapist? After all, you are paying them for their knowledge and expertise. It does take time to develop a relationship and developing one with your therapist is vital to your growth and satisfaction. Participating in therapy, for the most part, should be a time you anticipate and not avoid. Can you be honest with them? Are you trusting of the confidentiality they provide? Has this person clearly shared with you the limits of confidentiality if using insurance versus paying privately? Is there any part of you that "just isn't sure"? It's okay to assert yourself in therapy. As a therapist, I invite you to assert yourself as it's a way to develop self-confidence and resiliency. Not everyone thrives in therapy by sitting in an office or lounging on a couch. Some folks benefit by challenging themselves in various environments, or are more comfortable in their homes, online, in the community, at a retreat, etc. Give yourself a gift of spending some time finding the person that can work with you towards what you are searching. Although there's the convenience of the local non-profit agency in your area, it may not be what you need. Also, limiting yourself to the names of providers listed on your insurance may not lead to the "right one". There are many forms of therapy that insurances refuse to cover. When this happens, many times you can be reimbursed for your expenses by your insurance or you can use a Health Savings Card or Flexible Spending Card, there are many, many options. Therapy is about exploring yourself. Go ahead and feel free!If you feel as if you need to "train" your therapist, it seems that person is not the right fit for you. Engaging in treatment should be quite comfortable from the outset of treatment. Many independent practitioners or small group providers offer a free consultation to start the relationship. Perhaps that's a place for you to begin? Good luck and I wish you well!

Answer (from Denisha ForchMarriage and Family Therapist in CA):
The most important part of therapy is finding a therapist who is the right fit and you feel you can connect to. Feeling comfortable with your therapist and feeling that you can be vulnerable is what will assist in helping you find what you want out of therapy. It also sounds like discussing with a potential therapist your expectations for therapy. Also, I would read up on what the therapy process is like so that you are aware of the role the therapist is supposed to play in your life. As long as a therapist is ethical and not breaking any ethical practices, find someone you connect with and can share with.

Answer (from Laura HutchinsLPC, LCAS):
Finding the right therapist for you may take time - or you may find one the first try. Two important things to think about when first finding a therapist are “do I feel safe?” and “do I feel heard?” The first time seeing a therapist can be anxiety provoking. It may be uncomfortable. Unless there are giant red flags about a therapist (things beyond meeting someone for the first time and answering uncomfortable but important questions), I always suggest seeing a therapist 3-4 times before making a decision to try another. It may end up that you feel like your therapist isn’t the best fit for you, but again, I encourage you to give them a couple times before moving on. When you get past the initial sessions of paperwork and gathering information, you can gauge the client - therapist relationship better, and when you find the right person to work with, you will know it.

Answer (from Jim Ciraky PhD., LPC.Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ):
Quick Way to Assess a
Great Therapist A colleague and I were discussing the characteristics of
successful therapists. I gave him some traits, some of which were listed by
Robinson (2012). The therapist should be able to listen to your story, build
rapport, establish a relationship, demonstrate empathy, adapt treatments to the
client/situation, use effective communication skills, exhibit confidence in use
of therapeutic techniques, and repeatedly update skills with ongoing education
and research.  You should talk with the therapist. In addition to asking
the therapist about his/her experiences and specialty in treating the issue you
want to address; you will gain a sense of the therapist’s ability to connect
with you in your first phone call or meeting with him/her. This is why I offer
a free 15-minute phone consultation. You can use the above criteria to gauge
the therapist’s ability to do the following: Hear you, join with you in
understanding the issue, and indicate some ways in which the issue may be
treated.Regarding training a therapist, just ask the therapist if he or she can comply with what you are looking for, or what has worked with you before if you have had prior counseling. If you just like a therapist to listen, you are looking for a non-directive therapist. If you want one to be more active in guiding you, choose a directive therapist. You can also ask them with which type of client/issue they work best. I specialize treating anxiety and relationships and would
like to talk with you if you have questions about how I may be able to help
you.  Jim Ciraky PhDLicensed Professional Counselor GA, USAAdventHelp.com404.293.5654

Answer (from Tracey PoirrierPolaris Counseling & Consulting Services PLLC ):
The therapeutic relationship should be collaborative.  The client is the expert on their life, and the therapist is the expert on helping the client to develop their sense of being. Growth occurs as a result of challenges. Therefore, I would suggest not looking to train the therapist, but rather to find one that will help you develop into the you that you desire to be. Finding the right therapist is like finding a pair of black heels. Not just any black heels will do. But when you find them, you just know that your search is over. It is also wise to expect that they won’t always feel comfortable.