Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: Is it normal to cry at therapy?
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Answer (from Jane M Floyd, PsyDOur life is shaped by our mind for we become what we think; lets get started making progress in life):
it is quite normal as conversations we have may touch on emotions, thoughts and feelings that have been covered up for a long time. Just as laughter (which may also be present in therapy), joy, sadness, reflections, these are all emotions and insights that can occur. Allowing yourself to feel and express yourself in a space of safety is freeing and enlightening. Not all sessions can have that but those moments are wonderful and continue on ones pattern of growth. Grab a Kleenex and let it out!

Answer (from Josh KellarLicensed Marriage and Family Therapist):
Not just you but everyone is different. Some people need to cry and others don’t.

Answer (from Ashton SullivanDialectical Behavior Therapy and EMDR):
I can't tell you how many times I've heard people talk about terrible things that have happened to them yet they don't shed a tear.  Is that normal?  Well, yes, but not exactly healthy.  It's normal because they've been conditioned this way.  If you feel shame around crying, then you most likely learned at some point in your life that it's not okay to cry.  Most people have been told at some point in their life, "don't cry!" or "don't be sad!"  But some people have had this message imprinted in their minds by negative experiences such as parent who shamed them or got mad at them for crying, or simply by cultural or societal messages.The truth is, whether you're male, female, black, white, asian, etc.- we're all humans and crying is a natural response that allows our bodies to express (i.e. release) pain.  It literally helps to get the emotional pain out.  If you don't express your sadness in a healthy way (writing or creating art to represent your emotions can be other healthy outlets) then it will find another way to get your attention, and that will likely not be healthy (self harm, inflicting harm on others, numbing/dissociating, anxiety, etc.).So to answer your question, it is normal and healthy to cry in therapy.  If you have no other place where you can allow yourself to cry with someone to witness and hold space for your pain, then you are already benefitting from therapy.  I would suggest exploring your beliefs around crying with your therapist if you feel ashamed of it.  This is all too common, but I believe that many people would start to feel better if they didn't judge themselves for crying or feeling sad.  Honor your pain and you will feel more at peace.

Answer (from Angelia WorleyTransformative Counseling Experience):
Therapy is a safe place where we address a host of different issues. Many times things come up that we may have been too busy to address or we have become skilled in avoiding. We usually avoid or push away painful experiences. When we open ourselves to the healing process of therapy these painful things can be brought forward. Humans cry for many reasons. Commonly we cry when something touches us deeply and is related to a strong emotion of sadness, hurt, confusion, happiness, relief, or some other emotion. It would be natural for the body to respond to these emotions through crying. As a side note: we keep kleenex in every room of our office, lobby, and common areas. http://www.liferebirthed.com

Answer (from Adrienne LicariIndividual and Couples Counselor):
Yes, it is normal to cry in therapy. When opening up and talking about uncomfortable feelings or experiences that a person has been holding onto, there is a lot of emotion that is being released whether during a therapy session, close friend or family member.We all have painful memories and feelings. Talking about things brings up a lot and tears sometimes will follow. If you cry during a session, it just means that you have been holding onto difficult thoughts/feelings that you finally are ready to look at and talk about.In the beginning of working with a therapist, lot of people feel uncomfortable when they cry. Often they will apologize for their tears, question why they are crying now or try to dehumanize their feelings by labeling them ( i.e. as silly, stupid, annoying). There is no need to apologize or use labels, as therapists know that with therapy comes healing. Sometimes healing needs tears.Life at times is difficult and the stories behind one's emotions can be moving for both a client and therapist. As a therapist, I sometimes find myself wiping a few tears away too. That's when you know someone is really listening to what you are sharing and understands the road you've walked.-Adrienne Licari - http://www.positivetherapyservices.com

Answer (from Danielle Thomas, LMFTFinding Safety through Transparency ):
Emotion is the most "normal" and human activity that any person has the freedom to exercise.  Therapy is a place to explore freely, the deepest most ignored, and often denied concerns. Often time this process will evoke responses that were unexpected, but perhaps needed. What better place to begin exploring this than with a trained, unbiased person? Crying speaks to the development of connection and is symbolic of acceptance, and freedom of what was being held on to, which may not have been beneficial.

Answer (from Chaya LernerGrief Therapist):
Are you crying because you are sad? Perhaps this is your heart breaking open ready to cope with your issues. When we are sad and we don't cry maybe it's because we are guarded and our ego is trying to protect us.

Answer (from Patrick Santilli, LPCCTelehealth Therapist in Ohio):
It for sure is! It is a natural thing considering the act of therapy can be really cathartic and release emotions in a way that it makes sense to cry. There is nothing wrong with it at all! It is a healthy part of processing strong emotions.

Answer (from Whitney JenningsGet unstuck and show up as your best self in life.):
It is absolutely normal to cry at therapy!  It is common for a client to cry during a session.  Crying can be therapeutic, especially for someone who is used to not allowing him/herself to feel his/her feelings.  I create a safe space in order for you to be able to share your tears, as well as support you in understanding what your tears mean.

Answer (from Laura Zane-NwagbaraochaEmpath, Authentic, Therapist, Wife, Mom):
Oh My! Absolutely it is! I half jokingly tell my clients if I don't make you cry at least 1x during therapy, I am not doing my JOB!  I also let them know I am highly sensitive and may tear up with them, but not to worry, I cry at a good hallmark commercial :) Crying in therapy is not only normal, it is healthy and expected. I keep 3 tissue boxes in my office, all within grabbing distance. When you are in there, a lot of times you are working on really heavy, difficult stuff that maybe you have not shared before, and that may stir up emotions and tears.  People don't tell you how hard of work therapy is, but it TRULY is HARD WORK if you are doing it right.  Let the tears flow, they are cleansing and can help you heal.

Answer (from Audrey CornishLearn skills to manage whatever life throws our way!!):
Absolutely. We talk about vulnerable things and crying is a human response. I encourage my clients to cry and let out whatever they were holding in. It's not just you. I cry with my therapist as well :)