Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Peter CellariusCouples Counseling & Trauma):
Such a good question!  Sometimes, clients will feel like they are not connecting with their therapist and will put it on themselves.  In truth, the bond between therapist and client is the #1 predictor of positive outcomes in therapy.  Ask yourself these questions: does it feel like this person can come to care about me?  Do they remember from week to week what we touched on?  Do I feel compassion from this person? Do they allow me my difficult and painful feelings too, or do they try to rescue me?  On your other question - I suggest you ask your therapist what goals he/she has for your treatment.  See if they respond with interest and participation, or if they become clinical and distant.  Ideally, you and your therapist jointly develop your goals, and check on your progress on a frequent basis.  I don't know if you can actually 'train' your therapist - we can be a hard bunch to train! :-)  - but you can definitely tell your therapist what works for you, and what didn't work, at the end of each session.  How they react will also tell you a lot about whether this is the right person for you.

Answer (from Laura Zane-NwagbaraochaEmpath, Authentic, Therapist, Wife, Mom):
Hi, A good fit should have expertise in your issues. Generally, if you read their profile it should resonate with you...like they are talking directly to you. When you get into the therapy sessions, a good therapist will adapt their style to match your needs, they have done years of training to make sure they can help, so you should not have to "train your therapist" :) If you do, they are NOT a good fit. The idea of coming to therapy, is that you are there to get a different perspective and change what is not working for you, by that definition, you may not know what you need from therapy and that is where your therapist should be guiding you. That being said, in order for your therapist to give you the best service possible, they do need for you to be honest and let them know if you are willing or unwilling to incorporate the strategies they are offering. They need you to be willing to try things that are uncomfortable. A good therapist will also challenge your beliefs, make you question what you have done before...occasionally you should leave lighter, sometimes heavier, sometimes happy, sometimes lost in thought. If they are a good fit, you should feel like you can be your authentic self and feel safe, even if it is not easy. If you leave their office feeling like they are just a friend and you are not growing, they probably are not a right fit. If you leave their office feeling constantly frustrated, they are probably not a good fit. If they are not, let them know. A lot of times they can change their style or refer you to someone who is a better fit. It is okay to let your therapist know it does not seem to be working for you.

Answer (from Catherine CabaIf your're feeling 'stuck', I'm you're person!):
Like with any helping professional, you need to feel comfortable and heard.  If the therapist is not the right one, you will definitely know during the first session.  There is no 'training" a therapist.  I believe there has to be an openness in communication and a clear understanding of goals and treatment expectations.

Answer (from Lori KolbAdolescent and College age Expert):
This is a great question!  I imagine people wonder this all of the time, as it's a conversation I have had with many of my clients.  One thing to think about is advice that I give regarding many different types of relationships: what brings you together has to be more than what draws you apart.  In this case, therapy will likely make you uncomfortable at times and feel difficult.  But the right therapist will always help you to feel safe and supported through that.  As far as "training" your therapist, I encourage you to think about it from the perspective of how you can best be assertive about what you're looking for- and what you're NOT looking for! Most therapists will be happy to talk about their approaches or beliefs to help you better understand their work and what you might be doing with them in your time together.  If these conversations don't feel satisfying, feel free to move on.  Not everyone is the perfect fit, and that is okay.

Answer (from Audrey ONealBi-lingual Psychotherapist and HeartMath Certified Practitioner):
The question about identifying the right therapist is a compelling one to be sure.  The therapeutic relationship is based on trust and confidentiality is the cornerstone of the profession. Therefore, it is essential to seek a therapist who practices ethically, is empathetic, and has the capacity to be objective as well as non-judgmental. It is also important to seek a therapist who specializes in your particular issue and has clinical  experience as well as a passion in striving for toward the best outcome. You will not need to train your therapist as a competent therapist will help you explore the sources of your distress, or limitations in your belief system and so forth. A competent therapist will be able to suggest a variety of treatment approaches and together you will decide which approach is best for you. However, you also have to decide what kind of therapist you envision being comfortable with. Some clients prefer a more directive approach and others a more collaborative one.Most therapists offer a consultation which is a good opportunity to ask questions and get a sense of the therapist's treatment approaches, training, credentials,  style, ideas and so forth. You may be able to gauge from the consultation whether or not you are a good fit.

Answer (from Ronica ClarkYou have questions I'm willing to try to give an answer):
Do you feel comfortable with your therapist? Its a good start to know if the therapist is right for you. Therapist are human and not matter how good they are if you don't feel comfortable nothing they do will work.

Answer (from Dr. Joi LatsonLets start your journey today!):
You would feel safe in the space they hold for you. You would not have to focus on “training” them to be what/who you need, instead you will be able to focus on your healing. You will naturally click, and see progress. Always trust your intuition. It is your right to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. Ask them questions, and explore their specialities to ensure that they are equipped to guide you.

Answer (from Ashley "Ashton" BernalRenewed Hope Counseling):
The therapeutic relationship is such an important aspect of the process toward healing. Feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable is a good starting place. Understanding your own goals for therapy, outcomes you hope to get from it, and the approach you need from your therapist. Each therapist is unique and have their individual styles and theoretical orientations they align with. Open and honest communication regarding what you are hoping to get out of therapy and asking questions from the start of therapist to better understand if their theoretical approach will be helpful to you is a good starting place. Knowing and trusting yourself that if it is not a good fit that it is okay to seek therapy from another provider.

Answer (from Elena Engle, LMHC, EMDRVery Good Counseling):
There tends to be a connection you feel with your therapist. You could also see a benefit from the suggestions/homework they have been recommending. The top thing to look for is competency. If your going for a particular issue they should be an expert in that issue otherwise you may not have the right person.