Topic: anxiety

Question: I feel really uncomfortable around other people
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Answer (from Sarah ParkerSpecialize in healing painful emotions and restoring relationships):
It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable in large crowds, or large family gatherings. You may worry about not fitting in, or having anything to say. It is important to have a friend or two. Try to find someone with similar interests. Maybe you can do things that don't involve a lot of face to face contact, like going to see a movie, play or sporting event. Many people are perfectly happy doing things in small groups. If you have ongoing conversations in your head, it is usually due to worry about being judged, and wanting to do or say the exact right thing, as mentioned above. Finding someone to talk to, either a supportive friend or therapist, would allow you to get some of those thoughts our of your head, and realize that you are more accepted than you think. Good luck!

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Since you're aware of your sensitivity to being among large groups of people, then continue to satisfy this and stay away from crowds as much as reasonably possible.It is also fine to prefer the companionship of animals, as long as it is not to the exclusion of relationships with people.Recognizing this feature about yourself is another example of self-understanding.The only point to consider is the reason you avoid talking with other people.If its because of bad or stressful encounters, betrayals or some type of violation, then having this relationship pattern remain in your mind, may introduce new problems such as loneliness from lack of close friends.What you should do is honestly understand whether you avoid people from fear of being hurt or exploited in some way or because you genuinely prefer solitude.If you have the right combination of people/solitude/animals, then great!If not, then consider the confidential office of a therapist for new understanding of yourself and your social interests.

Answer (from Janna KinnerFlourish Christian Counseling):
Thanks for sharing your concern!  I think you'd be surprised if you knew how many people feel the same way.  Being in crowds can provoke anxiety (one of the symptoms of anxiety is irritability or anger, like you described).  For some people, that's just because of their personality (if you tend to be more introverted, being around lot of people is really draining).  For others, it can point to a diagnosis of social anxiety.I'd recommend starting by writing down your self-talk.  It sounds like you are telling yourself a lot of negative messages (as you mentioned, having imaginary conversations and assuming people are judging you).  Write down the thoughts that are leading to you feeling terrible and crying.  Maybe that's:  I'm stupid, Everyone else is having a good time so I should be too, There's something wrong with me.  Just writing these down is an important starting point because it allows you to be objective to your thoughts.  When you see them on paper, you can start to identify the lies and reframe them.  Next to your negative thoughts, write some positives:  I have something to offer, I'm okay the way I am, It's okay to prefer 1:1 relationships, etc.  Hopefully even as you read some of those suggestions, you feel a little lighter and more okay with yourself.  Take care!

Answer (from Amy Higgs OTR/L, CLT, CAPSMobile Occupational Therapist: sensory bus for children with ASD, SPD, ADD/ADHD and trauma):
So amazing that you are aware of your social anxiety and distress with others you are in relationships with. You have taken the first step toward a journey of healing! Secondly, make an appointment with a therapist who specializes in neurofeedback and biofeedback treatment. A test is needed to determine which areas of your brain are ‘on’ and which areas of your brain are ‘off’. Then it will be focused treatment which will speed your healing.