Topic: marriage

Question: Is my marriage worth saving?
All we do is argue. We never agree on anything.

Answer (from Brandon CoussensCouples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy):
Simply, Yes!Just because you argue, does not mean your marriage is not worth it. Couples disagree. They are different people from different worlds with different likes and dislikes. Trying to mesh these different worlds is tough, but does not mean you don’t need to not be married.There are reasons why couples don’t get along. Finding out why you cannot compromise and working towards similar goals can help. Talking about what you really want out of the marriage and relationship may show y’all how much your relationship goals are similar. Then you can build upon that.Learning communication skills, listening skills and ways to improve your ability to express self without anger can help.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
For how long has the arguing been occurring and does it relate to a specific incident or circumstance in your relationship?Arguing due to temporary stress and feeling lost or uncertain, is different than the two of you rarely agree on what foods to buy at the grocery store.In both temporary or longer term arguing, ask yourself if the points being argued are core principles of yours or matters which you can accept in service to the benefits you feel from the marriage.If your core principles are rejected, you’ve been arguing for an extended amount of time, and the value of the marriage doesn’t outweigh this, then seriously consider if ending the relationship is a better option than to stay in it.