Topic: spirituality

Question: I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion
I was born a girl, but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?

Answer (from Jason Lynch, MS, LMHC, LCAC, ADSIndividual & Couples Therapy):
I'm so sorry to hear that you don't feel as though your family would support you in embracing your true self. Because this is a very complex situation, I would encourage you to reach out to a local therapist who specializes in treating LGBTQ+ clients. An experienced therapist can help you to explore your feelings around your gender identity and assist in facilitating a discussion with your family or help you prepare to have that conversation on your own. I would also encourage you to contact national and local resources that can be tremendous sources of support. These include the following:GLBT National Youth Talkline - 1-800-246-7743Trans Lifeline - 1-877-656-8860Trevor LIfeline, TrevorChat, TrevorText - Text CHAT to 678-678 or call 1-866-488-7386At the end of the day, there is the family we are born with and the family that we choose. Give your family a chance, but if they refuse to accept you, know that there are people in this world who will appreciate you, validate you, and love you for who you are!

Answer (from Toni Teixeira, LCSWYour road to healing begins here):
I encourage you to reach out to a counselor and get support. They can help you navigate your own feelings, and talk to you about how you can talk to your family. There are resources for you and for them and I see that some of the other counselors here have shared those resources with you. We don't know for sure how your family will react if and when you talk to them. However, it is important to consider how not telling them is limiting your life and the expression of your preferred gender. My concern is for you and how this might be having an impact on you. Working with a therapist might give you some insights into how you might tell your family. It might create an opportunity for you to also tell them with the assistance of a professional. Ultimately, you know what is best for you and telling them is your decision, and I encourage you to weigh out all the options with a therapist. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer (from Fred RogersQue Sera Sera Counseling ):
No religion stops a person from being themselves. Gender is self-identified and not the one assigned at birth. Few families need sensitiation program for them to understand that their child is perfectly normal and gender dysphoria or gender incongruence is normal.

Answer (from Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind):
If you want to get some help in how to navigate what you want to do, contact a therapist and schedule sessions so that they can create a space to explore your choices.

Answer (from Chaya LernerGrief Therapist):
It’s painful to want to be what you are actually. God loves you. Despite your religious beliefs you need to be tru to yourself. Talk to a common high that you can relate to. Be you.

Answer (from Valerie Kuykendall-RogersSpecializing in Reconciling, Restoring, and Renewing Relationships):
Hello, This is a really tough question and there are no easy answers to this, however, I can recommend that first of foremost, it is important that you learn to accept yourself. This is easier said than done, and I can acknowledge and validate that sentiment. All to well, I have worked with clients such as yourself who struggle to learn how to accept themselves in the face of what appears to be insurmountable obstacles. Nevertheless, it is POSSIBLE! It begins with finding a good counselor who can walk with you through this journey to self-acceptance. I cannot and neither can anyone guarantee that your family will change and accept you (although I have seen in my work with clients like yourself where the family has moved from intolerance to tolerance with the ultimate goal of acceptance), it does not mean that some change is possible. As stated earlier, I highly recommend that you talk with a counselor, psychologist, psychotherapist, etc. who specializes in this area.

Answer (from Reanna WaughWaugh's Holistic Wellness Center):
I understand that this must be a difficult time for you with
many adjustments. If you feel comfortable enough to ask your parents to see a
Life Coach or a therapist, this may be an excellent place to start. You don’t
need to tell them the reason why maybe say that you simply need someone to talk
to for support with school or homework etc. The Life Coach or therapist would
be the optimal person to advise you on how to proceed with providing support
and guidance. There may be someone at your school whom you could talk to for
confidential support and guidance as well. Be confident in the fact that you
are not alone and there are always responsible adults available to guide you
through any difficult process you may experience in life. Talking to family
about personal issues can be difficult for anyone, even adults. I recommend
getting help from a trusted, professional adult before you decide what to do.

Answer (from Dr. Timothy Paul'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach"):
Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)

Answer (from Christina McGrath Fair"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh):
It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.

Answer (from Keyonne Spencer, MS, LPCEnriching the lives of couples, individuals and families.):
Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.

Answer (from Steve Termath, MA, LPCC, NCCLet's regain control! Comfort zones can be the breeding grounds of failure.):
Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.