Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: Is it normal to cry at therapy?
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Answer (from Leonard PikaardWhen you're ready, help is here.):
This is one of those cases where there is "no wrong answer."Many people DO cry, while others do not. Some people speak quietly, others may yell, and some find it painfully difficult to say anything at all in a therapeutic setting.My office has tissues readily on hand, and any client who uses them is assured that they are free to express the emotions they feel in a safe space.

Answer (from Susan HaberkornOnline Christian Counseling for Women):
For many people, crying is a stress-release valve. It is perfectly OK to cry in counseling!

Answer (from Joel DaughertyFaith-based Counselor in Lake Charles, LA):
I love to see tears! There's an old saying, "The eyes are the windows to the soul." External emotions are a pretty good indicator of what's going on inside the person, and if tears are present, that often means the person is processing (i.e., moving forward) through their emotions! I'm more concerned when I don't see tears from my clients because that can mean the client is "stuck." So, don't feel bad for crying! You are moving through your emotions to a place of healing!

Answer (from Stella OsemwegieSay yes to moving forward in spite of . . . ):
Cry? Of course you can cry!Therapy is a safe place where you can be who you are with no fear of being judged. Every counselor/therapist is dedicated to protect the confidentiality (with some exceptions) of all that happens in session. Crying helps to release tension and help secure free emotional space. It may provide you with the presence of mind that therapy demands.

Answer (from Jennifer MolinariHypnotherapist & Licensed Counselor):

Answer (from Josh KaplanOCD, Trauma and Anxiety Specialist):
Absolutely normal! Therapy should be a place where you can feel safe to explore and express all of your emotions. Some clients may cry easier than others and there is no "right way" to do therapy. I have many clients who cry each session. And I have many other clients who cry periodically. And I have others who haven't cried once. Each person is different however therapy should be a place where you feel safe expressing yourself.

Answer (from Christina McGrath Fair"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh):
Of course! There are some people who will never cry during sessions and some that always cry. In counseling you may be talking about very vulnerable topics and experiences and it may even be the first time you are talking to someone about your concerns, thoughts, or feelings. It is perfectly natural to cry if you are so moved.

Answer (from Delia BerindeLooking Forward Counseling, Denver, Co):
Yes, it's totally normal! Crying is a part of processing the tough stuff, no matter your age, gender or background and the therapeutic session is a safe space to do this. Sometimes crying can offer relief or provide room for deeper authenticity in session as you let both your strength and vulnerability shine in alignment.

Answer (from RINDA SMITHDirector, Rinspire Life Coaching):
Crying during a therapy session is not unusual. When we are in a safe environment, such as a therapists office, it allows us to disarm our defenses. By disarming our defenses we are able to feel and express our emotions. Oftentimes, these emotions result in tears.  I personally feel that crying in a therapy session is the one of the most beautiful parts of the healing process.

Answer (from Keyonne Spencer, MS, LPCEnriching the lives of couples, individuals and families.):
Yes, it is very normal. Some people cry frequently, but not fully. They’re good at crying but never seem to heal from what’s hurting them.Crying is supposed to be good for you. Tears contain toxins, after all. And feel-good chemicals are released in the body whenever we cry tears of sadness.Never judge your feelings while you’re having them; there’s always a reason something’s a big deal to you.Cry for your own pain, not just for others’. Crying in movies and when listening to sad songs is a good way to let off some built-up emotion. But you may not be dealing directly with your own hurts when that happens. Remember it’s okay to cry for yourself. Let yourself cry over spilt milk. You don’t have to wait till somebody dies. You can cry about anything that triggers you, no matter how seemingly trivial.Don’t set a time limit on tears. Your heart will decide when enough is enough. If you connect with the true source of your pain, you’ll find it’s finite. But you don’t get to dictate a time limit for your sorrow. Be patient. Pick up where you left off. If you have to keep a stiff upper lip, perhaps because you’re at work, check in with yourself later and see how you feel. Reflect on the incident in private if you feel it’s unresolved. Don’t stress out if you can’t recapture the pain. Tears are like cats: You can’t lead them on a leash. Speak only kind words to yourself. When you cry, watch for self-critical and invalidating self-talk like this:It’s not that big a dealI’m too sensitiveBig boys/girls don’t cryInstead, say, “I’m sorry” and “I’m with you” and “I love you.” Don’t say these things in order to make yourself stop crying. Say them in order to be compassionate to yourself. Cry in public. If you’ve never cried in public before, you may be surprised to find that many people will be drawn to you. Your tears make you vulnerable, and therefore no threat to others. Kindness is a frequent response to public tears.If you remember just one thing from this post, let it be self-compassion.

Answer (from Olivia ClearHonor your spirit, clarify your vision, align with your purpose.):
Yes, many people cry during therapy!  Crying can offer a type of release as your body reacts to the input of your autonomic nervous system. Some people release endorphins when they cry, which can make you feel better than before.  If you're concerned about how much you cry during therapy, it might be good to discuss with your therapist.  They may be able to make some suggestions of how to honor your feelings in a way that works for you.

Answer (from Denisha ForchMarriage and Family Therapist in CA):
Yes, it is normal to experience many different emotions in therapy because you are dealing with issues and situations that matter to you. Sometimes you may cry, sometimes you may feel joy, and sometimes you may feel relief. Sometimes you might even feel anger. Everything you feel in therapy can be used to help you learn more about yourself and help you grow.

Answer (from Wendy GalyenOnline Counselor in Indiana):
Yes, it is very normal to cry during a therapy appointment.  When you meet with a counselor, you are opening yourself up and sharing very vulnerable sides of yourself.  Through this deep introspection, emotions (sometimes unexpected) can come out and this is completely okay and very healthy.  Research has shown that crying reduces pain by releasing oxytocin and endorphins and reduces stress through the release of stress reduction hormones.

Answer (from Laura HutchinsLPC, LCAS):
Definitely. Therapy helps us work through the tough stuff. It’s a safe place where we can let our guards down. When you are getting things out verbally, a physical and emotional response is completely natural. Crying is a healthy release. Many people cry during therapy - some perhaps once in a while, and others may every session. Wherever you are on that spectrum, it is absolutely normal and you are not at all alone.