Topic: relationships

Question: How do I pick between two guys?
I'm dating a guy I really love. We have our problems, but I could see myself with him long term. But there's this other guy who I've had feelings for for awhile now. He gives me butterflies when we talk, and my heart beats fast when I see he's texted me, which i never felt with my current boyfriend.

Answer (from Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals):
There are different types of attraction.  You said that you've never felt this sort of feeling of your heart beating faster with your current boyfriend. Depending on how long you've been together and if you're looking at different ways of making a life together and getting to know each other on a deeper level, that's a different stage in a relationship and sometimes it feels different. Some people look at it as a difference between levels of passion and compassion, but there are many different terms to try to talk about it.Perhaps with this guy that you really love, you could talk about ways to keep things new and different in the relationship. Maybe you can leave notes for each other during the day or have a small surprise at random intervals (maybe an invitation to a picnic, for example).As for the other guy who makes your heart beat faster, what do you see in him? You said you really love the other guy, which is why I'm asking.What do you look for in the person who you want to be with long-term (whoever that is)?

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Decide your purpose in being part of a relationship.Fastbeating heartbeat sounds exciting, and usually goes gradually away.If you'd like excitement, then the heartbeat guy is for you.If you're trying to find a partner who will be with you for a long time then the first guy fits this agenda.You could also test out your theories by discussing with each of them their opinion of why they are with you and whether they would like a long term relationship or playfulness and fun.Best relationship is when each partner wants something similar as the other!