Topic: intimacy

Question: What's the best way to handle my spouse's narcissism and bipolar disorder?
He is always telling me our fights are only and all my fault, he bashes me to our young child, and he is addicted to a few substances.

Answer (from Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW):
Strengthen your own belief in your right to a decent life and respect of who you are.From the brief description you write, your husband has very limited capacity to recognize how others feel and even less capacity to empathize with the person.The best you can do is convince yourself of your own worth and associate with others who believe similarly about your qualities.

Answer (from Catherine Misita):
The behaviors you describe are boundary violations.  You can not change your spouse, but you can respond to his behaviors in ways that protect your boundaries and ensure your safety.  This is very hard to do without support.  Finding a therapist who understands the dynamics of abusive relationships may be helpful.  If you are not ready to do this, I recommend the book "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  It's a great resource for helping one recognize boundary violations and learning how to respond to them in ways that are constructive!