Topic: counseling-fundamentals

Question: How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
 How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

Answer (from Ilse de LeónYou matter!):
Hello, As a counselee I can tell you that I knew I had the right therapist when I felt challenged. Also, when I did the work they gave me and saw growth from it, I knew I was being understood.As a counselor I can tell you that the best work happens when you are willing to be vulnerable, it feels very risky because this is a person you don't know. The fact that they aren't living day to day life with you is actually a good thing because it helps them see your life in a different light, therefor they can give you perspectives that you may have missed. I hope you find the right fit, I encourage you to keep trying until you do!-Sucely

Answer (from Toni Teixeira, LCSWYour road to healing begins here):
This is a great question. I think that as a client it is important to educate yourself on how to look for a therapist. I think the process of looking for a therapist can be intimidating for some people and they may just pick the first therapist they find who takes their insurance. I think if you take a little more time, you will be able to find the best therapist for you.The most important thing is probably to create a list of therapists you are interested in working with. You might get referrals from friends, or check out some websites. You want to see that the person you are working with mentions working with people with the issues you want to address. You also want to see what they say about how they work with their clients. If they only do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and you don't feel comfortable with only that modality, then keep checking out other therapists. You want to definitely call a few therapists to talk. Don't just make an appointment with the first one who answers their phone! See what each therapist feels like to talk to over the phone. Do you feel comfortable? Do they make you feel at ease? Do they use a lot of jargon? Not every therapist may be the right match for you. Ask questions. If they say they use a certain modality and you have never heard of it, have them explain it to you. Do they explain it in a way that makes sense to you? Keep listening to make sure you feel comfortable and feel like they "get you."The best way to "train" your therapist is to be upfront about what it is you need. Let them know what is working and what isn't working. Learning how to communicate with your therapist will not only make your therapy more productive, but it is usually a good way to practice the new skills you will be developing.Best of luck on your journey!

Answer (from Shandra Patrick, MFT“Creation Starts Here”):
One of the first things you should feel with a therapist is a safe and non-judgemental space. As a therapist, my number one goal is to make my clients feel comfortable with sharing the darkest parts of their life. The next thing you should recognize is the therapist challenging you to think beyond your current scope of focus.

Answer (from Maria Anisia CocanCouple and Family Psychotherapy and Clinical Psychology):
You have to feel listened by someone emphatic and compassionate who is willing to make a therapeutic plan from the beginning and explain to you what are the most suitable therapeutic approaches for you. Based on each person needs this can be done working hand in hand and making certain agreements on the plan. Goals should be considered and the therapist should support you in achieving them and keep an eye on the progress and obstacles you've encountered. You can't "train" someone in offering support for your needs , you can ask specifically what you're looking for and see if that person can meet your expectation. Hopefully this answer will be helpful ! Best wishes !

Answer (from Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR):
You know that you have the right therapist for you if you feel comfortable confiding in them, and you feel that they are able to help you feel understood and that you are gaining from their therapeutic services.

Answer (from Melissa JonesLMSW, ACHP-SW):
Studies have shown that the most successful therapy is a result of a strong therapeutic relationship between the client and the therapist. So, you want to pick a therapist that you feel a connection with and communicates with you in a way that is relatable. The fact that you're using the word "train" leads me to believe you're really wanting a therapist that meets your needs, and you have very specific needs in mind. But, in a therapy/client relationship neither is the trainer. It's an open, collaborative relationship with you as the client voicing your needs and the therapist learning what your strengths are, analyzing your situation, and helping to guide you on your journey offering suggestions based on their education and expertise on possibly better ways to cope. You can ask your therapist about interacting in a way that works best for you, for example just talking, or talking and taking notes, or wanting handouts and homework, using an interactive app, etc. You can also talk to your therapist about wanting a brief, solution focused approach to a particular problem. This is the model most insurance companies prefer. Say you want to knock out a short term, specific issue in 6 sessions. But, depending on the issue, on average it takes a couple of months to see improvement and some people with more chronic, complex concerns may need therapy for years. So, you see why "train" won't work it's really about picking someone you can bare your soul too and that you feel you want a therapeutic relationship with for the long haul while you get help tackling the toughest stuff life has thrown your way.

Answer (from Jenny StevensResident in Counseling at Sunstone Counseling):
Finding the right therapist is a crucial part of the therapy process-- and one that can be intimidating or daunting despite increasing ease of access to individual therapist profile matching services. The right therapist will allow you the space to give them feedback on how you are most comfortable with the counseling process as well as adhere to the right pace of sessions and disclosure that feels most comfortable to you.

Answer (from Danielle PalmerRelationship & Individual Counseling):
If you've found the "right" therapist for you, you probably feel comfortable being vulnerable with them. Ideally, you feel connected to them in a way that leads to you feeling understood. In order to get what you need out of your treatment, it's important to be open and honest with your therapist about what you are seeking. Are you looking for coping tools? What are your goals and how are you planning on reaching them? Those questions need to be talked about in therapy to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Answer (from Gay Lee Schumann):
You will know when you have the right therapist if you feel like it is a "fit" for you.  Trust your intuition!  It is often accurate.  However, if you are used to unhealthy relationships, the therapeutic relationship may feel uncomfortable at times.  One of the best ways to "train" your therapist is to educate him/her about you.  If something is important to you, tell him/her.