Orcs and Their Tusks Content . What is the fascination the typical Orc has with his ( or her ) own tusks ? I swear , if they aren ' t constantly polishing or sharpening the damn things , they ' re studying them in whatever reflective surface is at hand or looking longingly at the tusks of their neighbors . And when they ' re not doing these things , they ' re talking about their tusks like they were royal heirlooms or ancient relics that were almost magical in nature . Let me tell you , it ' s enough to drive this Dark Elf a bit mad ! While I supposed it would be rude to just come right out and ask an Orc about this obsession with all things tusk related , I decided that making a study of how the word and concept of the tusk was used in every Orc speech cound help me reach some level of understanding . The first Orc I approached about the subject , a young female who I ' ll call " Orcah , " made an angry face - at least , I think it was angry , I find it difficult to tell the difference when it comes to the countenance of average Orc - and told me in an angry voice to " tusk off ! What an odd expression , I thought . " Tusk off . " Simple , declarative . It means almost nothing , but as it emerged from Orcah ' s mouth , I knew exactly what she wanted me to do . I departed quickly , making my apologies in great haste even as she was reaching for the axe hanging at her side . This got me to thinking about other Orcish expressions that contained the ubiquitous word . For example , " By Malacath ' s tusk ! " This seems to be an all - purpose exclamation that substitutes the proper noun with any of a multitude of famous or infamous Orcs . I ' ve heard Orcs swear by the tusks of Malacath , Trinimac , Kurog , Bazrag , Forge - Mother Alga , Urtho the Flatulent , and even heath - mothers and ancient ancestors that no one but the Orc making the exclamation even remembers . And for variety , the forsworn tusks might be chipped , cracked , broken , missing , pierced , or any of myriad of shades and colors . Another expression I hear over and over in the Orsinium taverns , " Better than a kick in the tusks , " seems to imply that one unpleasant experience to somewhat less agreeable than another unpleasant experience . When one Orc says to another , " I heard you fell into a pond full of leeches , " her companion exclaims , " Yeah , but it was better than a kick in the tusks , " I can only conclude that no matter how horrible an ordeal and Orc suffers , there could always be something worse , I suppose that Orc ' s tusks are extremely sensitive and a kick must instill in them unbearable pain . Or , it ' s just something to say and you can ' t really infer anything deeper from the conversation . Orcs can be so confusing . But this is just the tip of the tusk , as it were . Spend a few hours in an Orc tavern and you ' ll hear all kinds of expressions involving tusks . " Tusk you ! " " Who gives a tusk ? " " You tusking idiot ! " " What the tusk ? " " Stop tusking around ! " " Tusk me ! " And perhaps my favorite , " Go tusk yourself , " which at first glance seems to be an impossible request , but I ' ve seen what an Orc tuck can do to flesh and blood . An Orc must really dislike the person he or she offers this fierce suggestion to . I decided to make one more attempt to get an Orc to discuss the topic of tusks with me . This time I chose a striking young female who was seated by herself in a dark corner , making her way to the bottom of a bottle of Orsinium pink zinfandel . I asked if she ' d be willing to talk about the many used for the word " tusk " in the Orcish vocabulary . Tusk no ! " she told me in uncertain terms . Nevertheless , I pressed the issue . Are you tusking kidding me ? " she asked , When I assured her I wasn ' t " tusking kidding her , " she balled up her fist and knocked me on my arse . " Tusk ! " I exclaimed . And I finally understood the true meaning of the word .