Thenephan ' s Mysteries of Mead Content . There ' s a reason I was kicked out of Daggerfall , chased out of Elden Root , and banned from Mournhold . I ' ve tried every variety of intoxicant , wine , ale , and Argonian swill this world has to offer . I ' ve sampled Skooma with Khajiit , licked an Argonian Hist Tree , and hunted " magical " toads with the Bosmer . None of that compares to Nord Mead . There ' s nothing like it . The purest stuff is made in Nord villages , but we ' re at war with the Nords , and a Breton has no guarantee of surviving a trip like that . Leave that sort of thing to the professionals . There is still hope , however . If you ' re ever at a tavern , and there ' s a cask of Nord mead , you ' d be a fool to pass it up . Mead is made by fermenting honey and water ( though a few recipes call for molasses ) . Sometimes , you add grain mash and strain it , but that isn ' t necessary . Some of the High Elves call it " honey wine , " but mead needs more than good honey . Every meadery has its own recipes . After you drink enough mead , you learn the names of the brewmasters who create them . A drunk Nord will gladly punch another in the face over the honor of a good brewmaster . Then again , a drunk Nord will punch anyone for just about anything . Every brewmaster has a distinct blend of spices , fruit , and sometimes hops ( which makes a mead bitter , which makes some Nords bitter , too . ) I ' ve even heard tales of mead mixed with the blood of heroes , allegedly granting them the words of a poet or skald . I ' d like a mead named after me , but I ' m not going to bleed for it . An Altmer once told me that brewing is the basis of all culture . It ' s why our ancestors started farming and forming cities . It ' s what we do when we ' ve got too much wheat and barley and hops and we ' re sick of farming . The culture of drinking seems to be what keeps Nords together . Nords must be really sick of farming , because they brew and drink prodigious amounts of mead . Whenever a cask of really good mead is opened , Nords gather round because they know that cask won ' t last long . But if you don ' t know how to behave in the Nord drinking culture , you ' ll end up broke , broken , hungover , and helpless . I found out the hard way . Nords love to drink . But more than that . Nords respect those who can endure adversity . I know that sounds flowery for explaining why two drunk Nords would have a " hit - me - hard - in - the - face " contest , but really , that ' s why their culture celebrates getting drunk . A Nord can gain respect by consuming more mead than anyone else , just as he ' s respected for surviving a blizzard or killing a bear with a sharp stick . " Nord honor " is something they talk about endlessly when they ' re drunk , and even more when they ' re sober . So the first thing you learn about Nords is if you want their respect , never turn down a drink . It ' s a test . If you can ' t handle that next drink , leave . Otherwise you ' ll wake up somewhere they find hilarious , but you won ' t be laughing . Nords also love their skalds . Songs and stories go over well with a drunk audience , once they ' ve had enough of brawling , boasting , and throwing axes at each other . Their songs are all about how they ' re better than everyone else at everything . They ' ve all heard these over and over again , so bring some of your own . They ' re desperate to hear something new . Anywhere you go , drinking is also a good way to redress a mistake or make an apology , and it ' s the same with Nords . If you lose a contest , you need to buy a drink . If you make a mistake or offend someone , you need to buy a drink . If you ' re insulted , stand there and take it , then you need to buy a drink . You don ' t have to be the best brawler around to survive a room full of drunken Nords . You can also impress them by being clever or by being talented , but you better be really good . When it ' s time to take a punch in the face , you better be ready for a punch in the face . If you don ' t like getting punched , there are some things you should never talk about , like politics , who ' s the best brewmaster , and who punches the hardest . And never demand to know why someone just punched you in the face . If you want to hear more , buy me a drink the next time I ' m in Daggerfall . I ' ll tell you a story .