Episode 102 : Oceans / transcript Can I borrow this For my round things party ? Where did you get that ? On the roof . I disconnected all the wires . That ' s our satellite dish ! Did I do something wrong ? Oh , Bean , I tell you what - - I ' ll take Mr . Satellite Dish back to the roof And you can help digit start the show . Oh , okay ! Digit ! Yes , ker . . . Where ' s kermit ? He ' s up on the roof . The roof ? ! Yes . It ' s not safe up there . I ' ll tell him to come down . Kermit , come in . He came in - - ha ! Oh . . . Dear me . Let ' s watch the opening . Ahh ! Ahh ! Ahh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Captioning of this program is made possible By the amelia peabody foundation . Hi there , and welcome to our show . Tonight we travel to a strange land Where everything seems to be magic - - The world of " Lighthouse island . " Have a cider , zeb norman . Thank you , I am thirsty . I just rode my bicycle from . . . Trawleen . But first - - Muppetelevision . Kermit what ' s the show about ? There ' s fish in it So it ' s a " Friends and relations " show for me . Give my best to your " Folks . " Will do , Jim . Our guest star is Ted Danson . Lindberg - - have you fixed That hole in the roof ? Just about to , skipper . Oh , good , because I want everything shipshape . Uh - oh . Whoa ! ! Anybody got an umbrella ? Hang on , and we ' ll rescue you . I found the busted pipe And turned off the water . Oh , good . Oh , hi there . We ' ve got a terrific show , with pirates , singing fish And our special guest star , mr . Ted danson ! Is there any way I can help ? Thanks , ted But the show takes care of itself . You ' re wonderfully calm and collected . What ' s that hole doing down there ? Oh , the floor gave way . . . And you ' re not even worried . Boy , I tell you - - this frog , unflappable . Carry on . Oh , thanks . Hey , digit - - cue the folk dance troupe ! Digit : check ! Watch out for the . . . Dancer : whoa ! There ' s a hole . . . Don ' t go through the . . . Sheesh ! Is this a problem ? Uh , no , no problem . Digit ! Cancel the folk dance , cue the fish ! See ? Boy , didn ' t even miss a beat . Totally unflappable . ♪ splish - splash , I was takin ' a bath ♪ ♪ long about saturday night ♪ ♪ rub a dub , just relaxin ' in the tub ♪ ♪ thinkin ' everything was all right ♪ ♪ well , he stepped out of the tub , put his feet on the floor ♪ ♪ I wrapped the towel around me and I opened the door ♪ ♪ and then - - ♪ ♪ splish - splash ♪ ♪ he forgot about his bath ♪ ♪ how was I to know there was a party goin ' on ? ♪ ♪ they was a - splishin ' and a - splashin ' ♪ ♪ reelin ' with the feelin ' ♪ ♪ movin ' and a - groovin ' ♪ ♪ rockin ' and a - rollin ' ♪ ♪ yeah ! ♪ ♪ b - b - b - b - bing - bang , I saw the whole gang ♪ ♪ dancin ' on my living room rug ♪ ♪ yeah ! ♪ ♪ flip - flop , we was doin ' the bop ♪ ♪ all the teens havin ' dancin ' fun ♪ ♪ there was a lollypop with a peggy sue ♪ ♪ good golly , miss molly was even there , too ♪ ♪ well , a - - splish - splash , he forgot about his bath ♪ ♪ I went and put my dancin ' shoes on ♪ ♪ yeah ! ♪ ♪ I was rollin ' and a - strollin ' ♪ ♪ reelin ' with the feelin ' ♪ ♪ movin ' and a - groovin ' ♪ ♪ splishin ' and a - splashin ' ♪ ♪ yes , I was splishin ' and a - splashin ' ♪ ♪ rollin ' and a - strollin ' ♪ ♪ yeah , I was movin ' and a - groovin ' ♪ ♪ reelin ' with the feelin ' ♪ ♪ rollin ' and a - strollin ' ♪ ♪ movin ' and a - groovin ' ♪ ♪ splish - splash , I was takin ' a bath ♪ ♪ splish ! Splash ! ♪ Well , I think that went swimmingly . Thanks , chief . Actually , I was talking about the fish number . . . Um , sorry about the hole , folks . . . But the dance number looked great , except for the ending . How deep is that hole ? Will you people please keep it down ? We ' re trying to blast tunnels . Are people dancing up here ? This looks pretty bad . It ' s just a minor problem . Miners : oh , " Miner problem " - - I like that ! Digit , cue merlin , would you ? Merlin - - he ' s funny ! Hmm ? And now it ' s time For the medieval medic with the mystical mind Merlin the magician , m . D . Whom is it doth seek the wizard ' s help this day ? A guy with a fish through his head ! Ta - da ! Merlin : sit down ! Sit down . This is ridiculous ! How did this happen ? It started as a wart on my stomach . . . You stay out of this . You - - answer the question ! What was the question ? It went in one ear and out the other . Ta - daa ! Speak up - - I ' ve got a herring in my ear . Then you need a " Herring " aid ! Ta - daaa ! Why ? Just for the " Halibut . " Ta - daaa ! ! Wait ! Thank you . I plead insanity . No sane fish would do this . Are you sure ? Yes ! It ' s beyond all reasonable " Trout " ! Ohhh ! ! Lady : oh , magnificent merlin Mr . Pegasus is here for his checkup . Pegasus ? The mythical winged horse Of story and song ? Send him in . Hey , what about me ? I ' m sorry son , but I never Put the " Carp " before the horse ! Ta - daaa - - what ' s that ? Ta - daa ! Can I help you ? Yes - - get me to the " Horsepital " ! Argh ! Horsepital . . . That ' s pretty bad . I like it . Mr . Kermit ? Yes . Ted danson ' s ready . What ' s his plan , vicki ? Well , we spoke about it . I said perhaps a dramatic illustration Of man ' s journey into himself . What did he say ? He said he ' d rather do comedy . Oh , good . Cue ted danson ! But . . . Weren ' t we lucky , pumpkin ? Just yesterday saying , " Let ' s take a cruise " . . . And now , here we are , lucky us On the only cruise ship that had any room . We ' re so lucky . We ' re so lucky . Ahoy there , you miserable landlubbers ! Welcome to the jolly roger Flagship of the pirate cruise line ! So wash the bilge out of your ears , and look lively ! I ' m sorry - - who are you ? I ' m your host , my name be scurvy . Scurvy ? Been called that Ever since I caught the dread plague And spit up buckets of black blood . Oh . . . Well , yes - - that ' s a lovely story But is there anybody else I can speak to ? Peg - leg ! Get your briny bones out here ! Hi , I ' m peg - leg , your waiter . Our specials are salt pork and maggoty biscuits . I don ' t think so - - not t at it isn ' t tempting . . . Pumpkin ? I ' ll just have a club soda . Yes - - two club sodas , please . Club sodas ? ! With a twist of lime . You son of a sea cow , I ' ll give you club sodas ! Oh , good . What ' s this ? You want anything on the pirate cruise You ' ve got to fight for it . I hate it when you have to fight yo way to the bar . Arrggh ! Arrgh ! Arrggh ! Arggh ! S ill . . . All right , you swill - swiggin sea scu - - arrgghhh ! ( stops music ) Thank you . two club sodas , please . Oh - - well , certainly , sir . . . Will that be . . . Cash . Cash , or . . . Charge . Charged to your . . . Cabin . Cabin , sir ? Charge , thank you . Oh . . . Just sign here . All right - - 15 % of three doubloons . . . Why , thank you , sir . Ready ? ! Mr . Danson ! Don ' t worry , I ' ll save you ! Ha - harrgggh ! Are you the one they call peg - leg ? aye . . . Well , then this is for you ! Timber ! Ulp . Here we go , pumpkin - - Here ' s your club soda . Where ' s the twist of lime ? Oh , no , I forgot it . Oh , never mind - - I ' ll get it . Aaaarrrggghhh ! ! ! That ' s my pumpkin . Ted danson really gets into the spirit of things . The floor is fixed . Oh , good . I found this piece of wood Exactl the right size . All right , you mangy wharf rats ! Give us back our plank ! Hey , watch those cutlasses ! There are power lines all over this place . , Aah ! Oops . Our mistake . Sorry . Y , kermit , everything okay ? Uh . . . Yeah , oh , yeah , fine . Oh . Well , great lighting . Real dramatic . Yeah . . . Thanks . Sheesh . Let ' s see - - that was the end of the first half . So what comes next ? The beginning of the second half . That makes sense . Coming soon to a theater more or less near you Depending on where you live . . . Below the sea , beneath the waves , a n orce has arrived A force so powerful , so dynamic No fish can stand in its way . Now , from neptune pictures Comes the aquatic explosion of fury That is mario molluskini ' s " Karate squid iii " ! Karate squid iii - - now playing at a theater Near someone who lives near a theater , somewhere . Oh . . . Oh . . . Oh , kermit - - The underwater set has sprung a leak . Quick , plug it up . Oh . Uh . . . Ah ! Ah . Huh ? There , I ' ve stopped the leak , kermit . Uh . . . Why do I keep thinking Of niagara falls ? You ' ve got water on the brain . Let ' s go to the extremes ' underwater number ! ♪ she ' ll only come out at night ♪ ♪ hey ! Lean and hungry type ♪ ♪ ah ! Nothing new , I ' ve seen her here before ♪ There is one in every neighborhood ! ♪ watching and waiting ♪ ♪ she ' s sitting with you but her eyes are on the door ♪ Look out ! Ahhh ! ♪ whoa , here she comes ♪ ♪ better watch out , boy , she ' ll chew you up ♪ ♪ whoa , here she comes ♪ ♪ she ' s a man - eater ♪ Wow ! Oh ! Whoa ! ♪ whoa , here she comes ♪ ♪ wat out , boy , she ' ll chew you up ♪ ♪ whoa - oh , here she comes ♪ ♪ she ' s a man - eater , yeah ! ♪ ♪ I wouldn ' t if I were you ♪ ♪ I know what she can do ♪ What ? What ? What ? ♪ she ' s deadly , man ♪ ♪ she could really rip your world apart ♪ ♪ m - m - m - mind over matter ♪ ♪ oh , the beauty is there ♪ ♪ but the beast is in her heart - - aaah ! ♪ Oh , no ! Oh , no ! ! ♪ whoa , here she comes ♪ ♪ watch out , boy , she ' ll chew you up ♪ Oh ! Here she comes ! ♪ she ' s a man - eater ♪ ♪ oh , here she comes ♪ ♪ better watch out , boy , she ' ll chew you up ♪ ♪ oh , here I come ♪ Leave my hair alone ! ♪ I ' m a man - eater ♪ ♪ oh , here we come ♪ ♪ he ' s a man - eater ♪ ♪ man - eater ! ! ! ♪ Oh , cute shark . I suppo e so . Lindberg , is everything fixed ? I connected the water to the sinks And the electricity to the power outlets . Well , fine - - thank you . You ' re lucky I ' m a professional . Just think what ' d happen if I ' d mixed them up . Yeah . Pardon me , kermit . I wanted to dry my hair But there ' s something wrong With this hair dryer . What ' s wrong ? ( sw Digit ! ! Uh . . . Uh . . . Just cue the documentary . Aaah ! ! Will you stop that ? ! Turn it off ! ! And now , the " Undersea world of jacques roach . " Roach : we have been aboard our ship , the boogaloo , for many months . All is well , but I think the crew is feeling a little . . . Hey ! Captain jacques ! When are we going to suface ? We ' ve been down here For months ! Are you saying Your soul has not been stirred By the silent mystery of the " Dip " ? What mystery of the dip ? It ' s just cream cheese and instant onion soup . And has your heart not rejoiced And soared each and every night As we all sing the theme song of our " Sheep " ? The sheep have a theme song ? I didn ' t even know we were in this sketch . Ah , boogaloo The places you ' ve been to - - That ' s it , we ' re out of here . We ' re jumping ship . Jump " Sheep " ? You cannot jump " Sheep " ! I should say not . Zut alors ! It is the giant lobsters ! Hey ! Hey ! Come on , let ' s go ! Roach : quick ! Into the lifeboats ! These aren ' t the lifeboats ! This is a torpedo tube ! Exactement ! Now to defeat the lobsters and save my " Sheep " ! Oh , thank you . All right ! We ' ll sing ! ♪ rise , boogaloo . . . ♪ Rats away ! Hey , they ' re firing rats at us ! Let ' s get out of here ! Yeah ! " Today I have conquered thelobsters Dialogue : 0 , 0 : 16 : 26 . 98 , 0 : 16 : 29 . 48 , default , 0 , 0 , 0 , { \ an1 \ pos ( 206 and gotten rid of my verminous crew " I have found renewed peace alone once more with my ' sheep ' . " If you lay one hand on me , buster . . . Hmm , another underwater sheep and cockroach show . I hope people aren ' t getting tired of them . Hey - - this floor is soaking wet . I can ' t work like this . How can we entertain people under these conditions ? Oh , very good , kermit ! Very good . I love that wet - floor dancing . Show ' s going well . Oh , yes , it is , isn ' t it ? Clifford , are you ready with your piece ? Yeah , kerm . Ted , you want to join me in this story ? What is it ? It ' s a fish story about the ocean . You play the lead . Oh , yes , yes , my pleasure . Terrific . How long is this story ? Oh , it lasts about 400 million years . Um , kermit . . . Maybe while I get ready You should make a new plane reservation for me . Ladies and gentlemen - - " A fish story . " About 400 million years ago In the devonian period of the paleozoic era , or thereabouts Everyone on earth lived under the sea . It was a time of universal contentment and harmony - - Except for one dissatisfied creature Of indeterminate origin . His name was ted . I ' m tired of always being wet behind the ears . So this malcontent swam upwards toward the light Until he burst forth into another world . Up ahead he saw some dry land rising from the water . He swam towards it , and . . . Well , you know the story . I made it ! Though I don ' t suppose everybody ' s going to believe it . A few hundred million years passed . By that time , ted had adapted to his new environment And grown into a strapping homo sapiens . Oh . . . Well , yes - - yes , this is very nice . A little dry , but very nice . By now ted had lungs , he had intelligence He had mastered the opposable thumb . . . Excuse me - - Could you hold it down ? Hold it down ? But , but - - I ' m telling your story , man . My story ? Yeah - - I ' m the narrator And you ' re the everyman character . Oh . Well . . . Then , yes , go for it . Thank you . And so ted had learned to live on the land . But he lived by the water , and he ate from the water And he used the water for many of his needs . But still - - still , he was not completely content . Ted : I wish I had the wheel , and the telescope . And dental floss ! Oh , yes ! This is going to change the world ! And so ted went into a prolonged period of inventing and building Which proved fruitful . But of course , there were side effects . And still his thirst for innovation went on . I just invented electricity and freeze - dried coffee And penicillin ! I ' m also doing some wonderful experiments With petroleum derivatives . Clifford : ted kept doing that for a long , long time . And in truth , there were a lot of other teds All doing the same thing . And eventually all life in the water died . The sea stopped producing oxygen The earth became uninhabitable And that was the end ! Hel . . . Excu . . . Hello ! Excuse me - - that was the end ? Yeah . What kind of an ending is that ? Well , I thought it was the one you wanted . No , don ' t be silly ! I love the ocean ! I came from the ocean . That ' s like my home . What ' s this ? Did I invent this ? It ' s for you . Hello ? We thought you ' d like a call from home , ted . Guys ! It ' s the fish . Guys ! How are you ? We ' re terrible ! Believe the narrator For crying out loud ! It ' s not as bad as he says , right ? Face it , ted , it ' s worse . We ' re dying down here . I know , I know - - It ' s the oil producers and the chemical companies ! And the government won ' t do anything . I really feel helpless . You - - helpless ? You ' re the one dumping poison into the ocean ! Who told you that ? The narrator ! He was speaking metaphorically . I was not ! All right , all right . Mistake ! You ' re right , I ' m sorry . I shouldn ' t have dumped the stuff in the ocean . I ' ll stop . What about the stuff that ' s already down here ? Oh . Right . Um , jeez - - Well , then I ' ll try to clean it up , okay ? Promise ? W - well , sure . Of cou I promise . He promises ! Listen , thanks a lot ! We all really appreciate this ! Clifford : and the sea creatures swam away , happy again Because ted , their distant relation , had promised . And under the sea , no one ever breaks a promise to a relative . So maybe they all lived , after all . Maybe they even lived happily ever after . It ' s all up to ted . Good night , everybody . b Now let me tell you about a place called lighthouse island . It won ' t surprise you to hear That lighthouse island is an island with a lighthouse . Now , if you travel down the old south road Which is really the only road Past the farmsteads and the lonely salt marshes You come at last to the village . It ' s not the sort of place most visitors expect . Yet , it ' s an ordinary little town . A village of shopkeepers Craftsmen , drunkards , psalm singers Fishermen . . . And various practitioners of the lost arts . Lighthouse island is just like the place you live in . Ladies , gentlemen , my name is zeb norman . I just stopped by to ask for some directions . A newcomer - - oh , what a treat ! Newcomers get their future read . Here , take a card . The fish ! Never mind . So , is this place really called The " No - name tavern " ? Man : no , not called anything . Doesn ' t have a name . But the sign says it ' s called the no - name . The name isn ' t no - name . If no - name was the name , then there ' d be a name . But there ' s no name , not even the no - name . Here , have a cider . . . Zeb norman . Thank you , I am thirsty . I just rode my bicycle All the way from . . . Trawleen . Long way to ride On a warm day . Uh , I ' m looking for clara buford ' s shop . Clara buford ? No one goes there . Clara is nothing But trouble . I used to live near her and my hens would never lay . I ' m looking for a wedding present . I ' m getting married . It ' s a very important gift . Wheeler ' s . You want wheeler ' s for a wedding present . What about clara buford ' s ? Man : she ' s across from wheeler ' s . But stay away . I spoke mean to her once And my back was out for half a year . Well , thank you for the cider and the fish . Both fish ! ( door creaks open ) Clara buford ' s is over there . Pardon ? Care to have your name etched on a sea shell ? The tourists all love it . Woman : who ' s the lucky girl ? How did you know ? You ' re not looking at silver necklaces For yourself . I ' m clara buford . There ' s a better selection inside - - come this way , hm ? Clara : now then , you still haven ' t told me who the lucky girl is . Zeb : you wouldn ' t know her . She lives in gandy - - we ' re to be married ! Clara : I used to live in gandy . I know everyone there . Then maybe you can tell me about her . We ' ve never met . Never met your bride - to - be ? We write letters . See , it ' s this kind of correspondence club We both joined . Zeb : and I promise to write every few days Telling you about my life and my dreams . young woman : and I promise to write back telling tales of the sea . I hope you love the wildness of the sea . . . So it went on like that for about a year . And then one day , I asked her to marry me . She said yes . Oh , isn ' t that just the sweetest story ! She arrives tomorrow on the weekly ferry . I ' m looking for a present - - something in silver . She loves silver . She says it reminds her Of the sea just before a storm . I ' ve lots of pretty silver . A necklace would be nice . Or a locket . I don ' t know . It doesn ' t seem right , just a locket . Or a pin . A pin ? It has to be really special . Aren ' t you going to show me her picture ? How did you know I had a picture of her ? A young man in love ? Rosalee ! Yes , that ' s her name . Then you do know her ! Yes , yes , I should say . Well , I did say I knew folks in gandy . You must tell me about her ! Yes , well , she is a very special girl . But , you know , jewelry - - Oh , that is not at all the right kind of present For a girl like rosalee . It isn ' t ? No , no . A girl like that doesn ' t need any added adornment . But if not jewelry , then . . . Then what ? Shoes ! ( laughing : ) shoes would be perfect ! Shoes ? Dancing slippers ! She ' d put them on , you ' d sweep her up And dance off into the moonlit night . Oh , it ' s so romantic ! But . . . I wouldn ' t even know what size . Now , these would do very nicely . Or I do have some powder blue ones somewhere . No , here - - these are the ones . Silver slippers . They ' re perfect . Not those . Silver is rosalee ' s color . They ' re too big . No , they ' re not . They ' re family heirlooms . I ' ll pay double . Triple . I ' ll do anything to have these shoes . ( whispers : ) anything . . . Anything ? Uh , yeah - - anything . Well , I do have a little task For which I require help . What is it ? / I have an errand on hogg island . But I can never figure out How to make the motors in the boats work . You can take me there . Is it far ? No , it ' s just out in the bay . We could leave in an hour . Yeah , I suppose I could take you there . A handshake ' s a promise . ( shouting : ) remember , no more than half throttle ! She overheats ! If they make it to hogg island They ' ll be cold and belly - up . Clara : can we go a little faster , please ? The man said no more than half throttle . Whose errand is this , yours or mine ? Is that hogg island ? Yes . Strange - looking place . It ' s not the place I ' m worried about . What ' s happening ? The motor ' s overheating . Oh , terrific . I thought you knew all about boats . What was that ? It sounds like it came from under the boat . Has it gone ? I hope so ! Start the motor , quick ! It still won ' t do it . It ' s working ! Terrific . Zeb : what was that thing out there ? Clara : well , I . . . I can ' t be sure but I . . . I think it was fred . Zeb : a sea monster named fred ? I ' d better explain Because that ' s why we ' ve come . You see , there . . . There ' s this jewel - - a pearl That has the power of transformation . If I had that pearl , I could close my eyes And wish myself into anything That walks or flies or swims And open my eyes to discover it so . Transformation ? Are you sure ? I had that pearl once . I held it here in my hand . But before I could use it even once It was stolen - - Gone from its hiding place . And old fred was gone , too . So fred turned himself into a sea monster ? Fred , the old fool - - He turns himself into lots of things And he lives right here on hogg island . And that ' s why we ' ve come - - To get the pearl back . What ? At night ? Running around on this island With a guy who could be a tiger Or a snake , or who knows ? Handshake ' s off , clara - - No deal . Oh , I see . There are some things you won ' t do to get The silver slippers for your bride . We ' ll melt them . Melt them ? Yeah . Too bad . I so liked the image - - You and rosalee dancing off into the moonlight The silver slippers on her feet , flashing like captive stars . It ' s too bad ! Oh , well . We ' ll just crush them to bits ! No , wait ! Don ' t harm the slippers . I ' ll help . There ' s a good lad . So , where do we find this pearl ? Clara : there ' s a hut ahead - - fred might live there . Zeb : you don ' t even know ? Clara : no one comes here since fred came . Zeb : fred ' s a joy . I don ' t know what ' s come over him . Used to be cranky , but nice . Now , when he turns into a beast , he eats sheep . When he goes swimming , he sinks boats . When he flies - - oh , my , when he flies ! He . . . He flies when he ' s angry ! Yeah , so I ' ve noticed . Come along . The hut ' s just ahead . Come on ! Yeah , fred lives here , all right . We must find the pearl . To hell with the pearl ! It belongs to whoever touches it last . . . Find the pearl And that thing out there will vanish . Look out for the monster . I ' ll go on searching . What a clutter ! He never could keep anything tidy . Clara : is he still wearing this ? Socks and fishing tackle ! Men ! How he keep food and shoes in the same drawer ? It ' s revolting ! Oh , yech . ( whispering : ) oh , the pearl ! Give it back - - it ' s mine ! Clara , I might have known you ' d come looking for my pearl ! It ' s mine - - you stole it from me ! Dream another one , clara ! Oh , jeez , my hand ' s broke . Can this pearl really transform people ? You ' re asking him that ? I did my sea monster I did my flying beast and my tentacle . How much do you need ? Now , give it back - - it ' s mine ! You stole it from my daddy after he died ! It was mine . I didn ' t know How you could turn into stuff with it . It ' s mine ! It ' s mine ! At the moment , it ' s mine . The slippers are mine . A handshake ' s a promise . Yeah , a handshake is a promise . now we have what we came for . I don ' t . Rosalee . . . What are you going to do with that pearl , clara ? You ' ll know soon enough , fred . Oh , tsk , tsk - - you need to look after that hand . I suppose we should give you a ride . I wouldn ' t ride with you to the back door of hell ! You tell carl simms to come and get me . Carl hates your guts ! That ' s a damn lie ! Rosalee is here ! Good - bye , clara buford . Clara : I ' m coming along ! I wouldn ' t miss seeing lovers meet . There she is - - There ' s the bride . Rosalee ! Mr . Zeb norman - - how good to see you ! Well , there ' s your bride . A very special girl , mr . Norman . Well , aren ' t you going to give her the present You worked so hard to get ? You got the slippers ? I did . What , how ' d you know ? I asked zeb to fetch them from your shop . He thought it an odd request for a mermaid . You knew , then ? Of course . I remember when you lived in gandy , clara buford . The mermaids knew about your silver slippers . These slippers are legendary . They ' re heirlooms ! Why would a mermaid care about them ? I don ' t ; I only care about the power they may harbor . Those slippers have . . . Power ! ? We hope so - - at least the legend says they do . These slippers are the only chance We have for happiness . It ' s a desperate chance . To get them , I had to give her A pearl of transformation . What ? Yes , I have the pearl . It ' s useful for dealing With pranksters like you . With this pearl I can close my eyes and wish myself Into your worst nightmares . Oh ! Oh ! My pearl ! Zeb - - the slippers . I don ' t believe it ! Wish us joy , clara - - as deep as the sea ! Oh , look there ! Next week , our guests are the nylons Fawzy bear visits willard scott And the storyteller presents " The soldier and death . "