Hadmal Lastblood ' s Journal Content . I was a husband . A father . I wished to live a life of peace and love . I wanted to grow old with my wife , watching my children grow and start families of their own . Then , in the fullness of time , I wanted to pass into Sovngarde , wife at my side , to find whatever reward waited for us . I never expected to end the very things that gave me happiness . To be the hand that murdered my wife and daughters . But sometimes things happen . Evil corrupts even the most pure . The most innocent . My family . My wife , my daughters . They hurt others . Innocent people . They did unthinkable things . The power they wielded when they were together was pure evil . But I ended it . I buried them all . In different places . Made sure they ' d never be together again . The firstborn , Jolinne . I laid her to rest in her favorite place to play as a child . I still remember her playing tag with her sisters in that alleyway . She ' d hide behind the strange stones and surprise anyone who walked by . They ' d be mad at first , but then they ' d see her smile and move on , headed for the Sober Nord or Merchant Row . She was such a playful child before the Daedric corruption of Molag Bal pulled her into the cult . She was the first to turn after my wife . The first I found , blood and knife in hand . An evil grin I didn ' t recognize adorned her beautiful face . I had to do what I did . Kyne help me , I had to . The second - born , Fjorna . I laid her to rest in the shrine dedicated to the things she grew up dreaming about . Dragons . Whenever we visited the springs at Wittestadr , Fjorna would insist that we stop at the nearby ruins to pay our respects to the fabled creatures . She said that she could sense their presence . She ' d run off to the same spot every time . A small clearing behind a strange , curved slab of stone . She liked that spot . I hope she ' ll be at peace there . If only her mother hadn ' t gotten a hold of her . She was the closest to me of my daughters . She could hold her own in a fight . Won more often than not . A good girl . But she too fell into evil of the cult . I had to take matters into hand again . So I did what was necessary , and I wept and wept into the night . Nothing before this had ever been so hard . The third - born , Valdia . My little girl . My darling . For her , the only place that would suit was where I took her each year on her day of birth . To ride the horses at a little place in southern Eastmarch . The stablemaster would always welcome her , and my Valdia would be so happy . She ' d sit by the small pond near the house and she ' d pick those beautiful red flowers . She loved it there and horses were her favorite animals in the world . Which is why I was shocked when I found her favorite horse dead on that morning , its heart carved out . She was holding it , still pumping blood , in her hand and grinning maniacally . I never asked for this . I never wanted this . But I felt responsible . As if it was my fault . As if I had failed them all somehow . I did unspeakable things , but for the greater good . I never killed any innocents . But I killed my family . Perhaps this makes me more of a monster than they were , but I did what I thought was right . Sonya spoke of sacrificing the girls . Using them to gain ultimate power from Molag Bal . I couldn ' t let that happen to my little girls . I just couldn ' t ! I hope they can forgive me one day . I hope they welcome me into Sovngarde , back into their arms . I miss them . More and more . Every day . I think it ' s time to finally join them .