The Asylum Ball Content . My great great uncle was a warder at an asylum in Torval ( maybe he was my great great great uncle — it was quite a long time ago ) , and this is the story that has been passed down in my family from his generation to mine . Perhaps it is purely apocryphal , but when I was told it , it was whispered in such a way that it was meant to be taken seriously . Not having any children of my own to whisper to , and being in need of some gold , I have elected to publish my story . The asylum my great great uncle worked in was apparently very posh . Only the right class of lunatics were admitted . Eccentric dukes , mad baronesses , touched lords , and daft ladies filled the asylums tapestried and gilded halls . Still , it was a time of great excitement when the rumor began that the unhinged Emperor of Tamriel , Pelagius Septim III , was transferring there from a resort in Valenwood . When the rumor became a reality , the asylum went into nice , calm , restive chaos . Pelagius was given an entire wing of the asylum for his own use , for , though he was madder than a jackal , he was still His Terrible Majesty , the Emperor of Tamriel . The Emperor was remarkably well behaved , my great great uncle supposedly asserted . Of course , he did not have to face the commoners who came on all sorts of pretenses to gawk at their overlord , the loon . When one of the warders ( not , I have been assured , my uncle ) forgot himself and let His Terrible Majesty know that people had been there to see him , the Emperor grew very excited . He made up his mind right there and then to have a ball . A huge party with musicians , dancing , and dinner , right at the lunatic asylum . Or precisely , in his wing of the asylum . Rumors of the Emperor ' s interest in holding a ball spread throughout Torval and eventually it reached the ears of the Regent Katariah , Pelagius ' dear wife , in the Imperial City . Eager to make her husband happy , she sent a caravan laden with gold to the asylum so a ball might be held befitting the Imperial dignity . The Emperor picked a date for the ball , and preparations began immediately . The old asylum walls were beautifully decorated , but needed cleaning . A pit had to be constructed to house the orchestra ; servants for cooking and serving the food had to be hired ; gold and ebony and matching chandeliers were ordered ; the old rugs were destroyed , and new rugs embroidered with gems were weaved ; lists of guests had to be compiled , reconsidered and recompiled . The Emperor knew that the guest list had to be very exclusive , and he relied on his advisors to tell him who was alive , who was dead , and who was imaginary . The party was set to begin at nine o ' clock . At six , the hairdresser he had hired from Torval finished his Imperial coiffure . At seven , he was fully dressed in the robes he had ordered for the ball : voluminous black silk and piled velvet crusted with red diamond s . At eight , he walked down the newly reconstructed staircase to supervise the final preparations — the lighting of the candles , the opening of the wine , the murder of the first course . At nine o ' clock , he took his seat at the facsimile throne he had ordered and awaited the first guests . At nine thirty , his advisor , seeing the royal eyes beginning to glaze over with madness , said , " Your Terrible Majesty surely knows that it is not fashionable to arrive at any ball for at least an hour after the desired time , yes ? " The Emperor just stared . At ten thirty , the Emperor called for some food and wine , and sat at his throne , looking at the open door , . Thirty minutes later , he ordered the orchestra to begin playing . For the next three hours , they played gaily for the empty , candlelit ballroom . At one o ' clock , the Emperor announced his intention to retire for the evening . My uncle was one of the warders who assisted His Terrible Majesty up the staircase . Halfway to his room , Pelagius threw himself on the floor in a hysteria , screaming and laughing , ordering more wine ( my mother was good at this part of the story , rolling her eyes and , " More wine ! More wine ! Wine ! " ) , and , in short , imagining that he was possessed by all the at his party that never was . Two days later , he was still not better . He had cut himself and those who tried to grapple him horribly with the red diamonds of his robe . Eventually it was decided that the Torval asylum was not equipped to deal with a lunatic of his severity , and he was sent to a more secure location in Black Marsh . It was only three months later , my uncle heard that the Emperor had died . One of my uncle ' s duties was to clear out the personal property of the inmates after their death . Being primarily landed nobility , the personal property was often quite extensive . Several years after the asylum ball , my uncle was called to clear out the apartment of a duchess whose chief eccentricity was a propensity to pilfer . Kleptomania , I believe it ' s called . Locked away in a secret door in her desk , protected by a trap armed with a barbed needle , was a variety of jewels , piles of gold , and five large stacks of beautifully engraved invitations signed in the Emperor ' s childlike handwriting .