Episode 109 : Garbage / transcript Tonight , ladies and gentlemen , a cuteness special : Bean bunny - - that ' s me - - " A rabbit and his whistle . " Good , something cute to start our show . Digit ? Yes . Hit it . Oh , hit it . I think that ' s all the garbage we ' ve got , Kermit . Kermit , when you said " Hit it " just now Were you not referring to the trash - eject button ? Did you , in fact , mean Cue the opening title sequence ? You should have said something . Ta - da ! Cue the opening ! Ahh ! Ahh ! Ahh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Ooh ! Holiday inn " Stay with someone you know . " Welcome to our show . What ' s that ? Nacho corn chips ? You ' re going to spoil your appetite . Later in the show We ' re going to return to the magical world of the storyteller And the tale of " Sapsorrow . " That night , the second ball , beauties come and beauties go Dances are danced , but the prince stands alone . But before that , kermit is visited By country and western singer k . D . Lang . What else do you have for us ? For one thing , I ' ve got garbage . Actually , we prefer the term Previously essential material . Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! Finally . Time for wrigley ' s spearmint gum . Register : wrigley ' s spearmint ? What is wrigley ' s spearmint ? Well , it ' s pure chewing satisfaction . Please register . It ' s cool . . . . . . And refreshing . Chewing enjoyment goes on and on . Total ? Wrigley ' s spearmint is pure chewing satisfaction . Everybody ought to check this out . Wrigley ' s spearmint . ♪ every player is a winner ♪ ♪ playin ' blast . . . Hey ! ♪ ♪ blast back with mac ! ♪ Just buy a medium or larger coca - cola , Pull the sticker , and you ' re an instant winner ! ♪ at mcdonald ' s ♪ Play " Blast back with mac ! " Wow , look at all those tvs . Don ' t I know you from somewhere ? Hey , you ' re a muppet . Kermit the Frog ! I watch you all the time . It ' s kermit the frog ! If I have to be surrounded by talking garbage , okay But would you stay out of the way Because I got a tv show to put on . Demographical or ratings crisis - - Bad reaction from the pre - teen females . Little girls don ' t like garbage ? Like , garbage ? Ooh , yuck ! Stinko gross ! But we can bring them back With " Spot that blemish " on monitor seven . I ' m a little busy now . Digit , are we standing by With the conspicuous consumption channel ? Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! Demographics don ' t include u guys . Why not ? We ' ve got plenty of disposable income ! Let her rip , digit . Go away , freddy . I just dressed bootsie in her new yellow dress . Brad will just love you in this , bootsie . This new party dress is fabulous . But when brad sees me in my new bootsie swimsuit He ' ll flip out . Knock , knock , it ' s me . Hi , brad . Wow , swingy new dress , bootsie . Thanks , brad . I bought it for missy ' s wedding . Brad , did you ever wonder what it would be like If we were married ? Sure , bootsie . I ' ve thought about it . I know what - - Let ' s pretend we ' re married . Sure thing , bootsie . What do I do ? You just came home from a hard day ' s work . Go out and come in again . What a nutty chick ! Okay , bootsie , here goes . Come in . Honey , I ' m home . Now I come up and give you a kiss . I like that part . Wow , I think I ' ll go out And come in again . What did you do all day , dear ? I worked in the office . And say , when I come home from work I like to put up my feet and relax . Would hubby like something to drink ? Brad : I ' ll have a club soda With a twist of lime . Here ' s your drink , brad . How ' s everything , hubby ? Well , you forgot the lime . Oh , thanks . Cheers . That ' s honest refreshment , honey . What did you all day ? I bought this cute little party dress And this cute little purse . Tomorrow I ' ll buy a cute little car . Hey , watch out , honey , you ' re spending all my money . No , I ' ll use my own money . I ' m going to get a job as an oil sheik . Wow , what a kooky girl ! How about some fun in the sun , bootsie ? Beach , anyone ? Sure ! But first I better take off my new party dress And put on my new bootsie swimsuit . Go right ahead . Okay , turn around . Why should I ? Because we ' re not really married . You can ' t watch me change my clothes . Please , bootsie . No , brad ! You see , I am a girl and you are a boy . What ' s the difference ? Girls have bumps . But from the waist down , we ' re exactly the same , right ? That ' s absolutely right ! You know , bootsie , I like playing married . Do you think maybe . . . Yes , brad ? I mean , would you ever think about . . . Stop that , freddy ! You ' ll get slobber all over bootsie . Darn , just when things were starting to get steamy . Bootsie ' s no fun when she ' s covered in dog slobber . Good premise - - Not enough garbage . Hey , over here . We got billy jo dumpster on the garbage channel . Turn it up ! An entire channel devoted to garbage . I ' ve never heard of that . Welcome to america . But very soon the world will be ours , fellow baggies - - The garb age ! Our lives are no longer a waste of time ' cause this is the time of waste ! The garbage is revolting . Don ' t go for the cheap ones . I ' d give anything To get rid of all this garbage . Anything ? Under $ 100 . Okay , leave it to me . Digit , punch up the guest star channel . If you just put your hands together And welcome one of the great new stars of country music - - K . D . Lang . ♪ waltz me once again around that dance floor ♪ ♪ make my head go spinning round ♪ Ah - ha ! ♪ dance me over by that bandstand ♪ ♪ ' cause I love that twin - fiddle sound ♪ ♪ oh , when we ' re dancing close cheek to cheek ♪ ♪ my head get woozy , and my knees get weak ♪ ♪ waltz me over by that bandstand ♪ ♪ make my head go spinning round ♪ Ah - ha ! Play it , boy . ♪ it ' s friday night , the joint is swinging ♪ ♪ inside these swinging doors ♪ ♪ and all the cowpokes , they ' re a - dancing ♪ ♪ slip around the sawdust floor ♪ ♪ but you better watch out who you let cut in ♪ ♪ ' cause you might lose your baby to your best friend ♪ ♪ waltz me once again round that dance floor ♪ ♪ make my head go spinning round ♪ ♪ we spin around ♪ ♪ round and round ♪ ♪ dancing all night long ♪ ♪ the music stops ♪ ♪ at three o ' clock ♪ ♪ but some fool turns that jukebox on ♪ ♪ waltz me once again round that dance floor ♪ ♪ make my head go spinning round . . . ♪ Saw that thing , man . ♪ when we ' re dancing close , cheek to cheek ♪ ♪ my head get woozy and my knees get weak ♪ ♪ waltz me once again around that dance floor ♪ ♪ make my head go spinning round ♪ ♪ waltz me once again around that dance floor ♪ ♪ we ' ll dance all night long ! ♪ Ah . . . Socks . . . We liked that . And the flies liked it , too . Oh , the flies - - That ' s a tough audience to capture . Tell me about it . Hey , whoa ! You must be the frog . We ' re friends of the lizard . Where ' s those critters you want vamoosed ? You see that garbage over there ? Garbage ? What the sam hill ? Tie a knot in it , slim ! 20 bucks is 20 bucks . All gh t ' move them out ! Hey , get along , little baggies ! Yes , indeedy ! Are these guys great or what ? Now about that $ 120 - - You got the cash on you ? Le , I said $ 100 . It says here in this ctrt . . . I never signed any contract . That contract is garbage . Whoa ! Gangway ! Stampede ! You called for garbage , frog ? I don ' t believe it - - Trampled by a herd of garbage . The garbage ? Of course I ' ve heard of garbage . No , the garbage herd . I don ' t care what the garbage heard . Bean bunny knows no shame . Inveli ttstal Oh ! ! Oh . Oops No problem . - oh ! Sohy ? No p . Simplesh tho otstan Th bnce th sin - - The only fabc so otstan Eve kee ma swash Bounitstaingar h ! Oh What this show needs is some good , clean fun . Look , it ' s k . D . Lang again . You the singer ? Yes . Sing this . What is this ? They call it " Trash punk . " Kind of a fusion . Never mind , just sing it . I love trash ? Yeah , sing it . ♪ I love trash . . . ♪ Beautiful ! ♪ anything dirty or dingy or dusty ♪ ♪ anything ragged or rotten or rusty . . . ♪ Poetry ! ♪ oh , I love trash ! ♪ Great ! Yeah ! Listen to this . ♪ I have here a sneaker that ' s tattered and worn ♪ ♪ yeah , it ' s all fun of holes and the laces are torn ♪ ♪ a gift from my mother the day I was born ♪ ♪ I love it because it ' s trash ! ♪ Everybody ! ♪ oh , I love trash ♪ ♪ anything dirty or dingy or dusty ♪ ♪ anything ragged or rotten or rusty ♪ ♪ oh , I love . . . ♪ ♪ I love . . . ♪ ♪ I . . . ♪ ♪ love trash ! ♪ With material like that You ' ll be an overnight sensation ! There ' s only one problem . I don ' t love trash . I ' m a strong advocate of solid waste management . Get her ! Get her ! That ' s the guest star ! Get away from her , you dirty bags ! Trash ! Trash ! Trash ! And when do we want it ? Very , very soon . Very , very soon . I don ' t know - - It ' s still not right . Excuse me , excuse me . There was a time Wh taking out the garbage waa simple idea . Are we having a party ? Could you introduce me to the flies ? Is there going to be a clown ? Waldo ! Digit : the woodland setting You wanted is on monitor two . And I ' ve put an end to the garbage bag invasion . That ' s it - - now I ' m getting serious . Kermit : digit . . . I need a break . Did he say monitor two ? Don ' t worry , kermit . I ' ll find it . That ' s more like it . A quiet forest glade . Oh . . . Ah , the wonders of technology . From grunge to green . Funny how color can make all the difference . In fact , you know - - There ' s a really old wonderful story about that . Hey , gather around , everybody . Now , way back at the beginning of things Pretty much when the world began All the birds were just one color : gray . What are you doing here ? The antarctic odyssey is over on monitor five . Sorry . Anyway , life was real monochromatic Until one day the cockatoo made an amazing discovery . You see , he was on his way back to his nest When all of a sudden . . . Ooh , what is that ? Better take a closer look . I think I ' m on to something here . Say , everybody - - look at me ! Look what I ' ve found . Look at him . That looks great ! The news spread far , but not far enough . It didn ' t reach deep into the woods Where the nightingale was trying to find a voice for himself . Nope , maybe if I go higher at the end . Hi ! What you doing ? Listen . What do you think ? Fine , if you ' re calling a dog . Thanks for the encouragement , bird . Don ' t call me that . It ' s your name . I don ' t like it . Why not ? It ' s not a real name . If I ' m just bird Then I ' m no bird in particular . Look at me , look at me ! Wow ! I could swear that was parrot . No , parrot ' s gray , just like us . See you later . Bye . Strange . There ' s not much paint left , cardinal . You ' ll have to go with red . Fair enough - - At least they ' ll see me coming . Ta - da ! What do you think ? What happened to you ? I got my color . The cockatoo found this box of colors And he ' s painted us . Where ? In the glade . You ' d better hurry . By the time he got to me , blue was about all he had left . Hey , now I ' m a bluebird . I ' m a bluebird ! I ' m a bluebird ! Got anything in fuchsia ? Look , finch - - Gold is all I ' ve got left . Yes or no ? I guess goldfinch Has got a nice ring to it . Anyou . But I would have been anockout As fuchsia finch . Hey , wait ! You ' re too late . What ? Sorry , nothing left . There has to be something ! When it ' s gone , it ' s gone . Hey . . . So now you ' ve got a gold tongue . You know something ? They should have called you cuckoo bird . I guess I ' ll never be much to look at . Hey , I think I ' m on to something . Kermit : it was the most beautiful musit . The other birds had colors on their wings But the nightingale had a rainbow in his song Just like every nightingale ever since . Okay , and that ' s the story . And now , I think I ' d better hop on out of here . Back to the same old garbage . We shall wash up on the beaches Pile up on the land And in the air And we shall never surrender ! Meanwhile , back in another part of the forest . . . Hi , you ' ve joined us at a very exciting moment . The trail is fresh And my expert guide , dr . Emile lundquist . . . Ssh ! We don ' t want to startle them . Dr . Lundquist tells me we ' re getting very close . Look ! The trail is leading straight to the lair . Goodness me , there it is ! Yes , the nest of that most pesky And amusing of all nature ' s children - - The human . Wait ! What ? Yes , I think we ' re in luck . Here comes one now . What a beauty ! It ' s a male ! How can you tell ? The females have bumps . Oh , yeah . Oww ! Is that some kind of a feeding call ? Exactly . Oh , and it worked . Here comes the female with her young . You will notice They have caught some small white creatures Which they are stabbing with those pointy tools . Then they will hold them over those red - hot coals Until they ' re dead . I don ' t want to look at this part . If you ' re studying nature You ' ll have to take the ugly with the cute . We are in luck . What you ' re witnessing here Is the seldom - seen mating ritual Of the human . Looks silly to me . It might look silly to you But as you can see , the female thinks It ' s irresistibly attractive . Mom , dad , look ! There ' s a raccoon , a bear , and a film crew in the woods ! Oh , what a shame ! We ' ve interrupted the mating ritual . That ' s not good at all . I was really looking forward to that part . No , it ' s worse than that . A startled human can be very dangerous . What do you mean ? Duck ! Like that . We ' ll see you next time When we ' ll be looking at waterfowl ! Duck ! And geese ! I didn ' t know bears could talk . Save your pungent breath , refuse Or I ' ll incinerate you all with this flamethrower . Digit , what are you doing ? Hi , kermit , this is the singe - master 3000 . I rented it from " Flamethrowers ' r ' us . " But digit , you ' re going to blow up The whole control room . Don ' t worry , kermit , I checked . We ' re insured . Or was it " Vacuums ' r ' we " ? I called a waste management company . They ' re sending over an expert . Hi , laddies - - I ' m from harris , thompson and sludge . You ' re the expert ? That ' s right , m ' lad . We specialize in solid waste management - - The cutting edge , the ultimate In state - of - the - art disposal . Fantastic - - what do you do ? We stick the junk on a scow And sail around aimlessly . That ' s what you call state - of - the - art disposal ? If you know something better , call me . We are not going anywhere ! That ' s where you ' re wrong , m ' lad . You ' re going to be the next big thing . I casmell it You lovely lads will give garbage its voice . Your heart . You are the world ! You are the garbage ! It ' s time to tour ! Like a rock band ? That sounds like fun ! All right , follow me , lads . All aboard ! Okay . . . I don ' t think of it so much as losing my garbage As gaining a closing number . And now the garbage world tour ! ♪ on the road again ♪ ♪ just can ' t wait to get on the road again ♪ ♪ the life I love is making music with my friends ♪ ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ Thank you for liking garbage ! You make half a million tons of it a day ! ♪ on the road again ♪ ♪ like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ♪ ♪ we ' re the best of friends ♪ ♪ and singing that the world keeps turning our way ♪ ♪ and our way . . . ♪ You ' re up to your knees and getting higher every day ! Do it with us ! ♪ on the road again ♪ ♪ just can ' t wait to get on the road again ♪ ♪ the life I love is making music with my friends ♪ ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ Hope you liked the show . ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ You ' ll be seeing more of us ! ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ You ' ll see us on a beach . ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ Thank you , and good night ! ♪ I can ' t wait to get on the road again ! ♪ It looks like I rented this vacuum outfit For nothing . Or almost nothing . Bean , can you hear me ? Hi , kermit . Everything ' s back to normal . Digit , cue the last item . Ha - ha ! Surprise ! We ' ve been recycled ! Hey . . . Yee - ha ! Whoa . . . Whee ! Whee ! Ha ha ! Hee hee ! Hee hee hee ! Whoa ! Heh heh heh ! Introducing new bite sized ritz bits Peanut butter sandwiches . The taste of ritz bits and real peanut butter In tiny sandwiches , With no assembly required . [ all ] ♪ nabisco ! ♪ ♪ ping ! ♪ hey , wait for me ! I ' ve got a what ? I brush , I really do ! It ' s - - it ' s inconceivable . How could I possibly have a cavity ? This is devastating . If your little kid has a cavity , We ' ve got news for you . Over the years , One toothpaste has helped prevent more cavities Than all others combined . Yay ! Not surprisingly , it ' s the toothpaste More dentists recommend . Crest . This is a totally incredible visit . Yes ! It ' s great ! Crest . It ' s hard on cavities and easy on you . I ' m out of here ! Finished with this ? Here you go . Thanks a lot . And now , here ' s john hurt as the storyteller . Beginning , as I do , at the beginning Let me show you fate through the round of this ring . The girl whose finger fits this ring - - She ' ll become queen ; The law decrees it . What a lucky girl , you might think - - hmm ? Oh , no . . . A king had three daughters . Two were bad , one was good . Long without a wife , the king ' s only joy had been The joy of the proud father . But the girls were growing up . Soon the palace would be empty . I must find myself a wife to comfort me , he thinks . The wedding ring , passed on from queen to queen Finger to finger , since any could remember . Only when the ring fits can the king marry . She who wishes to wed our king Must come forward and try the ring ! The lucky bride will . . . He can ' t do that ! He ' s too old to be getting married . I don ' t think he ' s too old . What ? What ' s she saying ? No - - I know what will happen . The ring will fit some harpy And they ' ll get married and then he ' ll die And she ' ll get everything ! The more the sisters sulked At the prospect of a stepmother The viler they were to sapsorrow , their sister . When their father set off to find his bride They tormented her . They starved her . You ' re too fat ! They ' d say , stealing from her plate . They ' re vile , those sisters . Indeed . But they reckoned without her friends - - The creatures who lived in sapsorrow ' s pockets Under her bed , perched on her chair . When she went to her room , she ' d find berries And all kinds of nuts and fruits - - Delicious things ! We missed you ! We cried every night . Are our eyes bloodshot ? They are , I know . No bride , then ? No . None could wear the ring . Oh , it ' s fate . It ' s not intended . Perhaps - - I don ' t know . You don ' t need a wife . You ' ve got us . I know , I know . Where ' s your sister ? Oh , who knows ? Flirting with the guards , stuffing herself . No - - next . . . It ' s bound to fit someone eventually . How disgusting . I mean , we should be queens , actually . Together . I know . What if the ring fit you ? Or me ? Then what ? Man : that ' s enough . Too late ! Too late ! Can ' t you control these women ? Get them out of here ! Well , he wouldn ' t want to marry us . But then he couldn ' t marry anybody - - Which is even better . Come on . Oh . . . Oh , look - - it ' s hopeless . You try - - you ' ve got fat fingers . I have not ! Oh . . . Ow . Ow - - it ' s stuck . Oh . . . Ow ! It ' s completely stuck . Well . . . Ow ! ! Ow ! Do something ! Well , what ? The blood ' s getting stuck ! Look , it ' s swelling ! Can I help ? Help me ! No , go away , go on ! No - - she ' s better than you at these things . King : hello . Is everybody all right ? Fine , papa . What was all the hue and cry ? Hue and cry , daddy ? The crying was coming from this room . Put it up . And then little sapsorrow Does a thing she will long regret : Obediently she bends , and - - oh , folly ! - - she stoops And - - oh , rash ! - - she picks up the royal ring And slips it on for safekeeping . What ? I know . . . Where ' s your mother ' s ring ? Well , she was playing with it , father . Yes , we didn ' t want to sneak . I wasn ' t . She wasn ' t . Stay out of it , you . Little one . . . I wasn ' t . That ' s not fair . What ' s that - - On your finger ? Oh ! Nonot on your ring finger ! It fits ! It fits ! It fits . It fits . No sooner done , no sooner said The news is afire in the palace Sweeping the corridors . The ring fits the king ' s daughter ! I cannot marry my father . But you cannot ignore the law . But we cannot ignore the law . You cannot marry your father ! But I cannot shame the king . But you cannot marry your father ! But . . . The ring . . . . . . Is the ring , is the ring . Sire , it is the law of the land . The ring fits your . . . Child ' s finger . You must marry her . Then I should cut off my finger . Why did you play with the ring ? Why did you tamper with it ? When must we marry ? Man : as soon as the preparations allow . Then first find me a dress of the palest silk The color of the moon . I will not wed till I have it . Very well . We will find this dress . The princess , in her woe , plans a plan and schemes a scheme . " To find such a gown will take time Dialogue : 0 , 0 : 37 : 57 . 27 , 0 : 38 : 01 . 27 , default , 0 , 0 , 0 , { \ a1 \ pos ( 201 , 460 And meantimes , you must all help me . " Beautiful ! But now I must have one of sparkling silver Like the stars . For my trousseau . Sire , where would we find such a dress ? Do as she bids . All in silver , sparkling with stars . And off again went the king ' s men Scouring the land for such a dress . And all the while , in sapsorrow ' s room Another garment is being made , more marvelous , more magical . Beautiful . Beautiful ! Just like the stars . Sire - - the council Wait on you . Your people grow impatient . When do you marry ? Daughter ? This gown is for the wedding feast The first one for the procession . But now I must have one for the church . Gold it should be , gold as the sun . Bring me such a dress , and . . . The next day we shall wed . Gold , she says - - All gold , like the sun . Bring her such a dress ! They shall be married on the morrow . Gold . . . So spoiled ! And while the tailors cut cloth spun with pure gold Sapsorrow stayed shut up in her room . She never appeared . Only her creatures , flying in , slithering out Busy , busy , scurrying about . Princess ? Yes ? I have here a dress Such as none before has seen - - of gold , dazzling . A hundred hands have sewn it . Sapsorrow : it is what I asked for - - Very like the sun . Then we must marry on the morrow . We must . . . We marry . . . On the morrow . They can ' t , they can ' t get married ! Well , the law says they must - - And the girl has the three gowns she asked for . No , the ring fits , the feast is prepared - - Married on the morrow . Listen - - bells toll , the streets fill . Only sapsorrow stays silent in her room . Man : your highness , come out . The king awaits you . Yes , it ' s sapsorrow - - A strange thing of fur and feathers . For such has been the secret work of the past weeks - - This creature . There she is , the ill - fated princess Hurrying away , her past discarded Her future - - who knows ? Think fast . Think breathsavers With fast acting mint crystals . Okay , who ' s next ? He is . He is . Hi . Hi . New chips ahoy ! Selections are so delicious . . . Jean , take these or I ' ll eat the whole bag ! . . . You may not trust yourself around them . Three new chocolate chip cookies From chips ahoy ! Selections . Dangerously delicious . Pam , save me ! Ping ! Out of the sunny southwest comes - - Suncheros ! The crispiest crunch under the sun . [ crunch ! ] They ' re even crispier than before ! How ? Legend has it the pequenos keebleros Capture the sun itself To give suncheros tortilla chips A crispier crunch than ever before . [ crunch ! ] [ crunch ! ] A chip this crispy could only mean . . . Pequenos keebleros ! ♪ suncheros extra - crispy ♪ ♪ ' cause they ' re made by pequenos keebleros ! ♪ ♪ every player is a winner ♪ ♪ playin ' blast . . . Hey ! ♪ ♪ blast back with mac ! ♪ Just buy a medium or larger coca - cola , Pull the sticker , and you ' re an instant winner ! ♪ at mcdonald ' s ♪ Play " Blast back with mac ! " Gals from the garden club Order chicken salad , no mayo . Yuck , I say . Cholesterol , they say . I give ' em new kraft cholesterol free . They sent me this . New kraft . . . Two years later A poor creature of fur and feathers Tended geese in a king ' s garden And scrubbed the pots . . . That ' s the princess ! Princess of slops , yes . Princess of peelings , perhaps . Princess of the kitchen floor , certainly . And one day , this princess meets a prince . Where ' s the cook , do you know ? You don ' t know ? Can you speak ? Never mind . Give the cook a message , will you ? Tonight there ' s a ball . I want goose added to the menu . Roast goose with orange Baked in pastry . What ' s that look ? It ' s a look . If there was a tax on looking We ' d all be beggars . . . Sire . What ' s your name ? No name . They call me the straggle - tag . Well . . . Miss straggle - tag - - you don ' t stare at princes . It ' s not polite in one so low . . . Or one so ugly . Why eat geese ? They don ' t harm you . I happen to like geese . So do I - - that ' s why I don ' t eat them . Take that for your manners . Roast goose with orange . A dozen . That night they sat , the geese - - 12 cold stares on the royal table While around them , many danced Many daughters wore their mothers ' pearls . And the prince was there - - Handsome , admired , separate . Parents looked on and hoped , but the prince stood and smiled But did not dance . Until , late , unannounced , mysterious A woman enters In a dazzling gown , pale silk , like the moon . And what could he do , the prince But walk towards her ? What could he do , but lead her to the floor ? And they danced . It was meant ! As left to right , morning to night , dark to light They belonged . But when the music stops . . . Wait - - I don ' t know your name ! Oh , my dears , the prince is left mystified Excited , tingling - - he ' s hooked , line and sinker . The prince has sent down for clean towels . Where is everybody ? Upstairs , they ' re all busy . Another ball . We ' ve bare recovered from the last one . Oy - - thing ! You go , then . You sent down for towels ? I hope they ' re clean . I ' m sorry . Do I disgust you ? You amaze me . Look - - cats chase mice , hens lay eggs . And what does that mean ? It means some things have to do with other things And I have nothing to do with you . You don ' t disgust me Because I don ' t think about you . I see . Now - - go away . And keep below stairs . And stop gawping ! No , he can ' t see for the feathers , this prince . That night , the second ball - - Beauties come and beauties go Dances are danced , but the prince stands alone , hoping Staring at the great doors . But nothing , no sign . Then - - shhh ! A hush - - Then , a dividing of the room And there she is , in a dress sparkling with silver Like the stars . I must go . Don ' t . Please . I think of nothing but you . I find that hard to believe . It ' s true . I can ' t sleep , I . . . Where do you live that I might find you ? Where hens catch mice and cats lay eggs ! What ? Please don ' t go . What ' s the matter ? What ? You look so sad . No one , no one else in the whole palace In the whole kingdom Speaks to me like this . Are you in love ? Is that the problem ? You couldn ' t understand . Or are you worried You might only love your sweetheart For her beautiful gowns ? Were she in the humblest rags - - The poorest , absolutely - - You see , my darling has eyes like . . . Yes ? Oh , they ' re perfect . A voice like . . . Hmm ? It ' s perfect . It ' s not her gowns . Well , how can you possibly understand ? Then you should marry her . I want to . I want to , but I can ' t find her . I see . I . . . I have a problem like yours . What advice would you give me ? Well , I . . . I don ' t know your beau . What ' s he like ? Handsome , rich . Really ? Proud . Ah ! You see , when I think about him It makes my head hurt and my tummy ache And my skin tingle And my heart do little somersaults . Me , too . Me , too ! Oh , yes - - we ' re in love ! And it ' s terrible . I don ' t think I ' m in love . No , you ' re definitely in love . Little somersaults ? Tingling skin ? Definitely . Woman : straggle - tag ! Where the devil are you ? I have to go . Yes - - and listen : Don ' t tell anyone we ' ve spoken . As you wish . It ' s just , you know . . . Prince and . . . Woman : straggle - tag ! Prince and straggle - tag . Oh , yes , the prince is lovesick , all right . Even before it ' s dark He ' s there on the terrace in front of the ballroom . Tonight , he shivers , " I ' ll see my love tonight . " She still hasn ' t come ! Could I please have the dishes ? Ooh - - look at this one . What ' s the hurry ? Meeting a sweetheart ? That ' s why the prince is still waiting - - She hasn ' t finished the dishes . It ' s wonderful ! But bells toll evening ' s end . Next day , a proclamation rings out around the palace . The prince will marry the girl who fits the golden slipper . Well , she thinks , " What was true of the finger Is true of the foot . " She was cursed by the ring ; Can she be blessed with the slipper ? There ' s a queue now , but it fits nobody . I might try - - You never know . You ? You ' ve got great big feet . I have not . And what about our little beauty - - Are you going to try ? I might . So up she goes , and blow me ! Who ' s trying on the royal slipper ? If I just . . . If I just . . . I ' ve done it . I ' ve done it ! It fits ! That ' s absurd . You ' re not the one . I am ! It fits - - look ! I claim this handsome prince for my husband . Man : according to the proclamation The prince must marry the woman Who can wear the golden slipper . Princess badsister . Princess badsister . . . From ? From far away . From far away ! Daughter of ? Of nobody ! We have no parents , you see . Mummy died a long time ago And daddy died last year . Man : princess badsister Of far away , daughter of nobody - - She will marry the prince . Hurray ! Can I take this silly shoe off Please ? Why ? Well . . . It doesn ' t match And it ' s a teensy - weensy bit tight . Just a pinch . Ouchee - wouchee ! In fact , I may just have to have A tiny , baby scream . Sister - - Could you possibly help me To take this lovely slipper Off my footsie - wootsie ? Because I ' ll have to scream very loudly shortly . I think my leg is turning a bit maroon . It is . Get this shoe off my foot ! Oh , ow ! Sire - - I claim my right to try the slipper . Ladies , darling - - not creatures . What is it ? Get it out of here . She ' s called " Straggle - tag . " So ? May I ? Very well . Badsister 1 : it fits ! Badsister 2 : it can ' t ! It does fit . Will you keep your promise ? You can ' t , you can ' t marry that thing . Yes . I ' ll marry you . I ' ll keep my promise . Sapsorrow ! Sapsorrow ! My princess - - It ' s you . Darling , darling , they repeated to each other . And what the prince didn ' t know , he very soon did . They talked and talked Explaining this and explaining that Stories of rings , stories of fur and feathers And they wept for her dear father Smiled for poor straggle - tag Forgave the badsisters Danced for a day without going away . And after that , they were so out of breath They lay down and slept And if I don ' t wake them soon They ' ll never get wed . There goes the sun . Going . . . Going . . . Gone . Do it again , daddy . Lifesavers candy . Dad , I never catch anything . Here , have a lifesaver . Can we do this again tomorrow ? Lifesavers candy . ♪ just give me honest work and honest pay ♪ ♪ honest sweat from honest play ♪ ♪ and when I ' m through that ' s when I ' ll say . . . ♪ ♪ I want my clean as real as ivory ♪ ♪ it ' s gotta be 99 point 44 ♪ ♪ I want my clean as real as ivory ♪ ♪ nothing less ♪ ♪ nothing more ♪ No deodorants . No heavy perfumes . That ' s a real clean . That ' s ivory . ♪ it ' s gotta be pure that ' s for sure ♪ ♪ I want my clean as real as ivory ♪ This trash - bag puppet Is made from a trash bag . That ' s a load of garbage . Or actually , I ' m a load of garbage . That ' s for sure . Thanks for watching . Yeah , it ' s a load of garbage .