Sullivan Ballou Sullivan Ballou ( March 28 , 1829July 29 , 1861 ) was a lawyer , politician from Rhode Island , and an officer in the Union Army during the American Civil War . He is best remembered for the eloquent letter he wrote to his wife a week before he fought and was mortally wounded in the First Battle of Bull Run . Early life . Ballou was born the son of Hiram and Emeline ( Bowen ) Ballou , a distinguished Huguenot family in Smithfield , Rhode Island . He lost both of his parents at a young age and was forced to fend for himself . In spite of this , he attended boarding school at Phillips Academy in Andover , Massachusetts . After graduation from Phillips , he attended Brown University , where he was a member of Delta Phi , and went on to study law at the National Law School , in Ballston , New York . He was admitted to the bar in Rhode Island and began practice in 1853 . Ballou married Sarah Hart Shumway on October 15 , 1855 . They had two sons , Edgar and William . Ballou was active in public affairs . In 1854 , soon after beginning his law practice , he was elected to the Rhode Island House of Representatives . He was chosen as Clerk of the House , and later as the Speaker . He was a staunch Republican and supporter of Abraham Lincoln . Civil War . After the bombardment of Fort Sumter in April 1861 , President Lincoln called on the states to provide 75 , 000 militia troops to put down the rebellion . Ballou promptly volunteered , and encouraged others to do so as well . He was commissioned a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry Regiment . He was third in command of the Regiment , after Colonel John Slocum and Lieutenant colonel Frank Wheaton . He was also appointed judge advocate of the Rhode Island militia . The 2nd Rhode Island soon moved to Washington , and joined the Union Army of Northeastern Virginia . On 21 July 1861 the regiment participated in the First Battle of Bull Run . As a senior officer , Ballou went in front on horseback to better direct the men . He was hit by a cannonball from a Confederate six - pound cannon , which tore off part of his right leg and killed his horse . He was carried off the field , and the remainder of his leg was amputated . The Union Army was defeated and retreated to Washington , and Ballou was left behind . Ballou died from his wound a week after the battle , and was buried in the graveyard of nearby Sudley Church . Ballou was one of 94 men of the 2nd Rhode Island killed or mortally wounded at Bull Run . He was 32 at the time of his death ; his wife was 24 . The battle area was occupied by Confederate forces . According to witness testimony , it was at this time that Ballou ' s corpse was exhumed , decapitated , and desecrated by Confederate soldiers possibly belonging to the 21st Georgia Regiment . Ballou ' s body was never recovered . In place of his body , charred ash and bone believed to be his remains were reburied in Swan Point Cemetery in Providence . His widow , Sarah , never remarried . She later moved to New Jersey to live with her son , William . She died at age 80 in 1917 and is buried next to her husband . The letter . In his letter to his wife , Ballou attempted to express the emotions he was feeling : worry , fear , guilt , sadness and , most importantly , the pull between his love for her and his sense of duty to the country . The letter was featured prominently in the Ken Burns documentary " The Civil War " , where it was paired with Jay Ungar ' s musical piece " Ashokan Farewell " and read by Paul Roebling . However , the documentary featured a shortened version of the letter , which did not contain many of Ballou ' s personal references to his family and his upbringing . It has been difficult to identify which of the several extant versions is closest to the one he actually wrote , as the original seems not to have survived . The following is an extended version : The letter may never have been mailed ; it was found in Ballou ' s trunk after he died . It was reclaimed and delivered to Ballou ' s widow by Governor William Sprague , either after Sprague had traveled to Virginia to reclaim the effects of dead Rhode Island soldiers , or from Camp Sprague in Washington , D . C .