Outsider Observation Report - Log 1 Content . So . This organization called the Clockwork Apostles has asked me to record my thoughts about the Clockwork City ? Apparently I ' m the latest person to show up in about a hundred or some such years . I told them , " Wow , not a big tourist town huh ? " They didn ' t really laugh at that one . Or any of the jokes I ' ve told so far , if I ' m being honest . But hey , rambling on about something I barely know about ? Now that ' s something I can do . They suggested I start with observations . Said that was the most " objective " viewpoint I could give . Huh , well , not really sure what they ' re getting at there , but I ' m going to ignore that bit of advice because I think that I should start with myself . After all , who gives a skeevers arse about what I have to think if you don ' t know who I am ? That ' s what I always thought , you know , reading stories . Well , a little about myself . I ' m your typical mage , I suppose , in how typical the ability to summon fireballs and teleport around is . Not particularly powerful or anything , which the Apostles sure were disappointed about , let me tell you . I get the feeling that they only care about folks who have a real hand at magic , or good with the contraptions they ' ve cooked up here . I already know a few apostles who told me that they were simply very , very skilled at working the machines here , and that was sort of an in for them . Not that I really want to join a bunch of Dark Elves who worship Sotha Sil , mind you . How did I end up here ? Now , I ' d really like to know that myself . See , I was apprenticed with a Telvanni mage just recently , an unconventional character who had a tough time keeping apprentices around . Now this mer , I ' ll tell you , real big Clockwork City aficionado . Really big on getting here too . I mean , talk about an obsession , he would just lecture us all nonstop about the " wonders of the omni - axle " and all that . Not that he really knew what exactly those wonders were , but hey , he knew they were here . Long story short though , he wasn ' t wrong . And he would have gotten his wish , had I not been a beef - wit and stepped into the portal first . Well , I mean , more like tripped . I keep hoping he ' ll show up , but from what I could tell it was a one way trip ? Something about the movements of the planes or something like that . Prime conditions that aren ' t likely to pop up again . Just my luck , that . Now that I ' m here though , well , not so sure my old boss would be particularly keen on this place . I mean first off , it ' s pretty much a wasteland . Smells like I ' m trapped in a tin cup . Heck , everything is metal . The trees , the creatures , the people ! They have metal limbs , and from what I can gather they just do it for some sort of fashion trend . Gives me goosebumps . All right , my caretakers here are telling me I ' m out of time . They ' re going to perform some more tests on me , I think . Take bits of my hair and spit for " analysis . " I ' m guessing they ' ll keep asking me to write down my thoughts though . Unless one of the factotums can read my mind ? Huh . Wouldn ' t be surprised .