Traitor ' s Diary Summary . This book details the inner - workings of a madman . Unlike other books , this is written in red ink , which is supposedly blood . Contents . It ' s all right , mother . It ' s almost over . I ' m close . So very close . How long have we struggled ? How long have we waited ? Too long , I know . But it ' s almost over . I promise . killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim mommy mommy as you lie the dark man comes and makes you die my daddy ' s hands are red with guilt because he killed the life we built I hate it ! All this lying , all this pretending ! Sithis and the Five Tenets be damned ! How long do I have to live by their rules ? How long before I get my chance ? I saw Lucien Lachance yesterday . He was in the Sanctuary talking with Ocheeva . He was right there ! So close I could have severed his spine in less than a heartbeat ! Oh Mother , never before have I had to exercise such self - control . What ' s sickeningly ironic is that it was the Dark Brotherhood ' s discipline that allowed me to restrain myself . I ' ve been a part of their " family " for so long it ' s a part of me , whether I like it or not . And in all that time I ' ve fooled them all . They see me as a fellow member of the Brother , a trusted family member . Some day soon I will learn the truth about the Night Mother , and when I do , I will use that trust to get close to her . Close enough so that I may rend the head from her body , just as Lucien Lachance did to you so long ago ! Damn it , mother ! Why did it have to be this way ? Maria was so beautiful . She was perfect in so many ways . Why couldn ' t she handle the truth ? Why couldn ' t she realize her " family " didn ' t really love her ? She was a murderer like the rest of us . Paid to kill in the name of Sithis . I really thought we could be together . Make a real family , with real love . But she told me she could never accept your place in my life . So now she ' s gone . She didn ' t deserve to live after the horrible things she said about you . I never should have told her , I know . I ' m so sorry . It will never happen again , and the others will never find her , don ' t worry . There ' s nothing left of her to find . I like to lie in the grass and watch the ants and wish I were one of them in their undergound maze so safe from the darkness of people horrible people I will kill them all kill the ants kill the people kill everything I did it , mother ! I killed them all ! I killed them and I cursed them to wander their ship in undeath for all eternity ! They came to talk to the old man in the lighthouse . When they saw me , they could have kept walking . But no . They laughed ! They laughed at me , mother ! They called me names ! They said I was strange , that I was a human rat , living here in the cellar of the lighthouse . They did not know who they were dealing with ! So I snuck on board , later that night , and I slit their throats . Every last one of them . So there the Serpent ' s Wake sits . The ghost ship of Anvil they ' ll call it now ! Ha ha ha ha ha ! Some wonderful news , mother ! Advancement at last ! Lucien Lachance paid a visit to the Sanctuary today , to talk with me ! He told me the Black Hand needed my services . One of the other Speaker s is looking to replace his assistant , who was killed fulfilling a contract . So Lucien Lachance suggested me ! I met with the Speaker , and will serve as his new " Silencer . " Ha ! Lachance might as well have given me a contract to kill the Night Mother herself ! I am now one step closer to realizing our dream . I will learn the Night Mother ' s identity and tear the heart from her chest . Oh yes , and I have something special planned for Lachance himself . . . mommy I so afrade . I miss you mommy . I just want you to kiss me again father prayed and guess who came the hooded man in Sithis ' name who left but then he came once more to pass through window wall and door I lie in fear my mouth a gape as wicked blade did cleave your nape for I was watching beneath the bed to see the falling of your head and when your face lie on the floor our loving eyes did meet once more and so I pledged to you that day the Brotherhood would dearly pay and just as they took me from you I ' d find and kill their mother too but there ' s someplace I need to start and that ' s with father ' s beating heart and when that ' s done I ' ll sing and dance to celebrate a dead LaChance greenblueREDyelloworangegreenblueREDyelloworangegreenblueREDyelloworange greenblueREDyelloworangegreenblueREDyelloworangegreenblueREDyelloworange greenblueREDyelloworangeBLACKBLACKBLACKBLACKBLACK ! ! ! ! ! ! I ' ve been careless ! Too careless . The bodies , the burnings . Killing that fool Blanchard was the worst mistake I ' ve made so far . I was seen ! I was cloaked and hooded , and escaped into shadow , so no one learned my true identity . But now the Black Hand is suspicious . They suspect treachery , suspect a traitor ! I must be more cautious than ever . when in the snow I like to lie and fold my arms and wait to die I ' ve been switching them ! Switching the dead drops ! It was so easy ! I tracked Lachance from his lair at Fort Farragut to the first dead drop location . After Lachance placed the orders , when I was sure he was gone , I switched them ! It was so easy . Now Lachance ' s fool Silencer is working for us , mother ! Oh , the fun we ' ll have . One of the Black Hand told me they haven ' t seen such an ambitious family member since I first joined the Dark Brotherhood . I will use that very ambition to my own advantage . The fool will never question the dead drops , and as I write this is en route to the first target - - one of the very members of the Black Hand ! And so it begins . Lachance ' s silencer will kill one high ranking Brother member , then another , then another , and so on , until the entire family implodes . Eventually , as is the custom , the survivors will consult the Night Mother and seek her guidance . When that day comes , I will be there , ready to punge a blade into that dark whore ' s fetid heart ! ! eid lliw ecnahcaL neicuL