Profit and Lace ( episode ) Grand Nagus Zek is deposed after he begins to promote female rights ; Quark changes his sex temporarily to prevent Brunt from becoming the new Grand Nagus . Summary . Teaser . Quark is in the bar talking to Aluura , one of his dabo girl s , encouraging her to learn " oo - mox " . Rom bursts in to warn him he can ' t contact anyone on Ferenginar . He tries to brush him off , but later the two begin to believe that the Dominion invaded their home planet . They rush to Ops to warn the crew , who don ' t believe it . Shortly afterward , the shuttle of Grand Nagus Zek requests permission to dock at Deep Space 9 and they ' re relieved . Quark and Rom greet the Nagus and Ishka , beloved and the mother of Quark and Rom , at the airlock . They explain they had to flee Ferenginar because Zek was deposed by the FCA Commissioner s for granting females the right to wear clothes with an amendment to the Ferengi Bill of Opportunities . Zek is to be replaced by Brunt , who has taken over the government as Acting Grand Nagus after financial chaos shook the entire Ferengi Alliance . Zek is convinced his move makes good business sense , and wants their help to " reconquer an empire , or die in the attempt . " Act One . Zek declares Quark ' s quarters as " the headquarters of the sole legitimate government of Ferenginar " as they walk in . He explains that their plan is for Ishka to convince the Commissioners that Ferengi females are , indeed , intelligent , and that a more prosperous Ferengi economy will result . He ' s convinced she can win them over . It ' s clear , though , that Ishka is driving the plan , as she has to remind him of it . She then goes further , saying she envisions a female Grand Nagus in the future . This confuses even Zek , but the moment passes . Quark , Rom and Nog agree to help Zek by sending messages to all FCA Commissioners , requesting a conference for Ishka ' s " demonstration . " However , it doesn ' t go well . Many have choice words for Zek and some even thought he died . All the Commissioners decline – save Nilva , chairman of Slug - o - Cola , who is a conservative man with a lot of influence . After a long session of calls , the group reconvenes in the bar . Zek can ' t believe it , thinking he would have had better response due to all the business he ' s had with the Commissioners . Ishka is somewhat optimistic , but just then Brunt walks in , jeopardizing the plan . Act Two . Brunt coldly orders an Eelwasser from Quark and proceeds to gloat over his newfound power . The group asks him why he ' s there , but Brunt continues berating them . Zek says he should never have reinstated him . Quark brings his drink , but Brunt says he ' s changed his mind and wants a Slug - o - Cola , referring to Nilva ' s expected appearance on the station . He plans to bribe him , but Quark kicks him out . After he leaves , Quark has to lie down . Quark doesn ' t rest for too long before his mother comes to talk to him . Saying he ' s feeling sorry for himself , she tries to cheer him up , but he ' s not in the mood . He says she has been manipulating Zek ever since she met him , without caring for the consequences of her motives . She is offended , and retorts that Quark can always go crawling back to Brunt , but Quark wants things back the way it was . The argument gets more heated as he exclaims she ' s the worst thing to happen to all of them . She now berates him , but then , tries to call him something , but can ' t get it out . She abruptly falls to the floor . In the infirmary , Bashir determines she had a heart attack and needed a new heart , but she will live after a few days rest . Glaring at Quark , Bashir says she needs to be kept away from him , having overhead Ishka saying " it ' s all Quark ' s fault " over and over . The group stares at him , already suspicious at his cover story for what happened . He comes clean in the bar and apologizes . Zek says they can ' t postpone the meeting . Brunt and his servant , Uri ' lash , step in to ridicule them . After he leaves , Zek is determined to hold the meeting , as Ishka wouldn ' t give up . He comes to the conclusion that Quark should impersonate her . Act Three . Bashir successfully changes Quark to be more feminine , and he ' s now fully dressed up , though very uncomfortable and critical of his looks . Zek gives him his mother ' s notes , full of facts and figures . Leeta also helps him with his walk , but Rom oddly chimes in with several good pointers . Quark quickly wants Rom to take his place , but Zek reminds him he ' s better with the business . Nog bursts in and announces Nilva has arrived early . Zek tells him to expect his other female advisor , Lumba , tomorrow . The group reminds Quark all the things he needs to study before tomorrow . Act Four . Nog greets Nilva at the airlock . He ' s an energetic Ferengi who immediately gives Nog a Slug - o - Cola and is insistent on meeting Ishka right away . He leads himself there while Nog trails behind . He runs into Brunt , who insists on a meeting afterward , and Nilva agrees . Brunt attempts to thwart the meeting , saying Ishka is in the infirmary , but Nog is able to tell them both about Lumba , much to Brunt ' s confusion . Nilva is unphased , and now is intent to meet her instead . While the group is critiquing Quark , Nilva arrives with a whole bag of Slug - o - Cola . Nilva is excited to see Lumba , and suggests to have dinner with her that night , as he ' s due back to Ferenginar the next night . The plan is very rushed , and nervous excitement is everywhere . During dinner with Lumba , Nilva is convinced of the opportunities that Zek ' s feminist approach presents . The main argument of this approach being that clothing includes pockets , and females will thus want to make more money in order to have something to put in those pockets . Lumba further notes that Nilva ' s sales ( which have suffered recently ) can be improved if he markets to females . In the process of all the talk , however , Nilva falls in love with Quark . Nilva says it ' s time for dessert , and invites Lumba to his quarters . Act Five . Nilva is very forward , starting to undress Quark and chasing him around the table . He says he needs her and wants to marry her . Quark is increasingly unable to brush Nilva off when Brunt bursts in to announce the truth . Quark then tries to convince Nilva , rubbing his lobes and even taking off his clothes for both of them to see . Nilva is now convinced and agrees to go with Lumba to tell Zek he ' ll do everything he can for him " because that is what Lumba wants . " Brunt can ' t believe it . Bashir later restores Quark to normal , though he mans the bar fairly early on in his recovery , as he ' s still thinking about Nilva . He ' s holding a ring Nilva gave Lumba . Odo comes by as he usually does to ask about it , however , Quark ' s hormones get the better of him and he has to cry on Odo ' s shoulder . Odo lets it happen until he realizes Morn is watching . Zek ' s group come by to thank Quark , and Ishka forgives him as well , noting Quark made a good daughter . Aluura also comes to Quark to tell him she has been studying " oo - mox " . Quark immediately tells her it was wrong of him to make her do that , and instead gives her a raise . Aluura , however , thought it sounded like fun , but Quark still insists it is wrong . As she leaves , though , he comes to his senses and goes after her . Memorable quotes . " " A Dominion invasion of Ferenginar ? " " " " Think of the terrible repercussions to the Alpha Quadrant . " " " I " cannot think of any . " " " " Boys , together we ' re going to reconquer an empire or die in the attempt ! " " " " Now , tell me something . Doesn ' t wearing all those clothes make you feel like a deviant ? " " " " Not really . And I ' ll tell you why . Because under all these clothes , I know I ' m totally naked . " " " " That " female " happens to be my " mother " ! " " " " They ' re " ALIVE ! " " " " " Moogie ! I was so worried . " " " " You ' re a good son . " " " " I was worried too . " " " " And you ' re a good liar . " " " " Nagus , you remember my son , Nog , don ' t you ? He ' s the first Ferengi to join Starfleet . " " " " I ' ll try not to hold that against him . " " " " His name is Quark ! " " " " And when you sit , make sure your knees are touching , and don ' t forget to relax your shoulders , but keep your bottom tight . " " ( Everyone stares . ) " " What ? " " " He ' s " the one that should be wearing the dress . " " " " It ' s these earrings , they ' re killing me . Do I have to wear them ? " " " " No woman is complete without earrings . " ( Everyone stares . ) " Why does everyone keep looking at me ? " " " " Marry me ! " " " Uh , I don ' t think your wife would approve . " " " " Who cares . She hasn ' t touched my lobes in months . " " " " I can tell . " Links and references . References . 21st century ; algae ; Alpha Quadrant ; amendment ; artificial heart ; bankruptcy ; beetle snuff ; chairman ; Chamber of Opportunity ; Clarus ; commissioner ; dabo girl ; Deep Space 9 ; dessert ; Dominion ; earring ; Eelwasser ; eustachian tube rub ; feminist ; Ferengi ; Ferengi Alliance ; Ferengi Bill of Opportunities ; Ferengi Commerce Authority ; Ferengi shuttle ; Ferenginar ; financial advisor ; ; Grand Nagus ; ; gross planetary income ; handkerchief ; heart attack ; hip ; hologram ; holosuite ; hormone ; Hupyrian ; infirmary ; latinum ; Leck ; liquidator ; lobeling ; Lumba ; ice ; Irtok ; medical log ; Milky Way Galaxy ; mirror ; Moogie ; nightmare ; oo - mox ; " Oo - mox for Fun and Profit " ; percent ; PADD ; Quark ' s ; Replimat ; slogan ; Slug - o - Cola ; snail steak s ; Starfleet ; subspace transceiver ; teeth ; tongo ; tube grub ; Tower of Commerce ; tympanic tickle