Cicero ' s Journal Cicero ' s Journal denotes four autobiographical writings author ed by the Night Mother ' s Keeper , a clownish Imperial man named Cicero . Found in Cicero ' s room in the Falkreath Sanctuary , the books chronicle his life and eventual descent into madness as the result of killing his final contract , a jester . The series comes in five installments . Location . Cicero ' s Room in the Falkreath Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary . Content . Volume One . 18th of Evening Star , 4E 186 . As I begin this new phase of my life , I have decided to finally keep a journal . So much has happened to me thus far , both within the Brotherhood and without when I think there is no record of what has transpired , it almost seems an affront to Sithis himself . So I am determined to make amends . Yes , the Dark Brotherhood has its own scribes and chroniclers , but it is their solemn task to record those events deemed important to the organization as a whole . Let this volume serve as the personal record of one man , a lowly assassin who has pledged his blade and his life for the Dark Brotherhood . 23rd of Evening Star , 4E 186 . I have arrived safely in the Cheydinhal Sanctuary , and have been greeted warmly by Rasha and the others . Indeed , the level of support and acceptance shown by my new family is rather overwhelming . For this Sanctuary knows suffering , knows sorrow , for the ghosts of Purification still haunt its halls . So , who better to understand the plight of a brother who has lost home and heart ? Who better to comfort one whose Sanctuary is no more ? The Bruma Sanctuary may be gone , but my dearest brothers and sisters will live forever in my dreams , just as their soul s live forever by the Dread Father ' s side . 1st of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 187 . Completed the baroness contract . She died well . Her handmaiden , less so . 12th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 187 . Cheydinhal suits me . With the destruction or abandonment of the other Sanctuaries , our contracts are plentiful , as are our bonuses . Still , we seem to be losing our footholds throughout Tamriel at an alarming rate . There are rumors that the Black Hand is split on our continued direction . Some favor expansion , the others consolidation . My personal feeling is that the Dark Brotherhood needs to , at the very least , maintain the illusion of being everywhere at once . it has become exceedingly difficult to fulfill ( or even establish ) contracts in provinces where we no longer have a physical presence , like Hammerfell . The more we ignore Tamriel , the more people lose faith in the Dark Brotherhood - our power , our services , our dedication to the Void . 27th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 187 . The Listener , Alisanne Dupre , has been visiting with us for several days , down from her private residence in Bravil . She and Rasha had been discussing the possibility of re - opening the Shadowscale training facility of Archon , in Black Marsh , but ultimately decided we lacked the resources to follow through with the plan . 28th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 187 . Completed the Arena contract . I ultimately decided to pose as a starstruck fan , and immediately got into the Grand Champion ' s good graces . While escorting the arrogant fool through the Great Forest , I slashed his throat and left the corpse for the bears . Volume Two . 27th of Sun ' s Height , 4E 188 . Wayrest is lost . The city fell to corsairs , and it ' s just a matter of time before the Sanctuary is breached . May the Night Mother watch over her children in their hour of need . 5th of Last Seed , 4E 188 . We received word today - the Wayrest Sanctuary was raided and destroyed by the corsairs . There were no survivors . There are now only three active Dark Brotherhood strongholds remaining : The Cheydinhal Sanctuary , here in the Imperial province ; a remote Sanctuary located in a forest in Skyrim ; and the Corinthe Sanctuary of Elsweyr . The Black Hand has ordered the Corinthe Sanctuary closed , and its members integrated into our own ranks here , in Cheydinhal . I will embrace those new family members as warmly as I was , when I first made my home here . 27th of Hearthfire , 4E 188 . The situation in Bravil grows more dire . The city has erupted in violence , due to a war of control being waged by Cyrodiil ' s two largest skooma traffickers . The Listener , Alisanne Dupre , has been forced to employ sellswords to protect her own residence . 1st of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 188 . Things in Bravil have come to a head . The statue of the Lucky Old Lady has been destroyed , and Alisanne Dupre has left her residence to guard the crypt of the Night Mother , hidden below the remains of the statue . If the crypt is discovered , Alisanne Dupre will , of course , protect the remains of the Unholy Matron until her dying breath . Rasha is sending Garnag and Andronica to aid in the crypt ' s defense . I begged to accompany them , but Rasha wouldn ' t have it . He says my place is here , defending this Sanctuary , and I must of course respect that decision . 12th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 188 . Botched my contract and forfeited the bonus . The silk merchant was already cold , and I was halfway through the window , when her daughter stepped into the room . I had little choice at that point . 21st of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 188 . So much has happened since my last entry . After Garnag and Andronica left for Bravil , we stopped receiving communications from the city . We feared the worst . This morning , those fears were confirmed , when Garnag returned alone , transporting a most precious cargo - the great stone coffin of the Night Mother herself . The story Garnag told could curl the blood of even the most hardened of Sithis ' servants . The crypt of the Night Mother , raided . Dearest sister Andronica , cut to pieces . And the Listener herself , the most honored Alisanne Dupre , burned alive in a storm of mage fire . Garnag , through gravely injured ( he will most certainly lose his right eye ) , managed to fend off the attackers , and transport the Night Mother ' s coffin safely out of the city . He has been on the road , making his way back here , since that tragic night . Volume Three . 23rd of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 188 . Now that things have settled down , the reality of our situation has finally come to bear - we are a Dark Brotherhood without a Listener . With no Listener , the Black Sacrament will go unheard . Surely the Night Mother will speak to someone soon , thus choosing a new Listener to take Alisanne Dupre ' s place . Until that happens , though , we must take to the streets . We must hear the pleas of the desperate and vengeful . The people of Tamriel must not know , must never know , that their prayers to the Night Mother are going unheeded . 24th of MorningStar , 4E 189 . It is a new year , and two months since the Night Mother first arrived here at the Cheydinhal Sanctuary , and still the Unholy Matron has not seen fit to speak to any one of us . And so , Rasha has decided to revive an ancient Dark Brotherhood tradition - the appointing of a Keeper , a guardian whose sole duty is the safeguarding of the Night Mother ' s remains . The remaining members of the Black Hand will make their decision tomorrow . 25th of MorningStar , 4E 189 . I have been chosen . By some incomprehensible twist of fate , the Black Hand has named me the Night Mother ' s Keeper . In all honesty , I am both incredibly honored and deeply saddened . This means the end of my contracts . I ' ll be lucky to lift a blade again . Thankfully , Rasha has promised me one final contract before I accept my new duties . 30th of MorningStar , 4E 189 . The jester lies dead . My final contract has been completed . Oh , how he laughed and laughed . Until he didn ' t . 3rd of First Seed , 4E 189 . I have settled well into my new role as Keeper . It is my duty to not only keep the Night Mother ' s shrine clean , and the candles lit , but to tend to the body as well . The Night Mother ' s crypt was a consecrated place - shroud - kissed , absent of sunlight , and safe from the world above . Removed from there ; the remains are subject to the filth and corruption of the living . The body is perfectly preserved , so the concern is not physical , but rather spiritual - the remains must be sanctified regularly , so that they may continue to serve as a conduit for the Night Mother ' s soul . Our Matron ' s eternal spirit may travel the Void freely , but it is through her own earthly remain that she communicates with the Listener . And so , I wash the corpse weekly with the requisite oils , recite the ancient incantations , and personally see to the extermination of any insects or rodents . If the Night Mother does not speak , it will be because she chooses not to - not because she is unable . This is my responsibility . This is my vow . 12th of Mid year , 4E 189 . Months and months and months and no Listener . Why won ' t the Night Mother speak to me ? I am worthy as Keeper , but not as Listener ? I protect our Lady , keep her sanctified , but still she will not grace me with her voice ? 4th of Sun ' s Height , 4E 189 . So long since I worked my blade . So long since I saved a soul . But I am now Keeper . No longer a taker . I think back fondly on my hours with the jester . His laughter , his screams , his pitiful cries . And then , as the end drew near , his laughter once more . Merry in death as well in life . I was honored to know him . Volume Four . 1st of Hearthfire , 4E 189 . Cheydinhal has errupted into violece and chaos , like so many other cities before it . The Sanctuary has remained unbreached , but for how long ? Our numbers are few , and with no Speaker , the contracts have dwindled almost to nothingness . Rasha ' s hold on the Sanctuary is slipping . 26th of Frostfall , 4E 189 . Silence ! Deafening silence ! In my head in my head in my head . It is the silence of death , the silence of the Void . Seeping into me , through the Mother . The silence is hatred . The silence is rage . The silence is love . 4th of Evening Star , 4E 189 . Today , Rasha declared himself Listener , claiming the Night Mother spoke to him at last . But when questioned , he could not name the Binding Words . Liar ! Deceiver ! His charade must not stand . 4th of Evening Star , 4E 189 . Rasha is dead . As commanded by the silence , so did I obey . I did not wield the knife , oh no , but dipped the honey softly sweet , into Garnag ' s eager ear . He is a good brother . A loyal brother . To both Cicero and our Matron . He did the deed , gladly . 10th of Sun ' s Dawn , 4E 190 . Only three of us left . Cicero , Garnag , Pontius . 15th of Sun ' s Dawn , 4E 190 . The Night Mother remains silent . I remain unworthy . The Sanctuary remains doomed . 3rd of First Seed , 4E 190 . I can hear it . Deeper , and deeper . Louder and louder , punctuating the silence like thunder on a calm evening . Laughter . 4th of First Seed , 4E 190 . Laughing , laughing , laughing , laughing ! It is the jester ! A voice from the Void , to cheer poor Cicero ! I accept your gift , dearest Night Mother . Thank you for my laughter . Thank you for my friend . 16th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 191 . Pontius is dead . A Dark Brotherhood assassin was killed by a common bandit while walking the streets of Cheydinhal . How can something so sad be so funny ? 17th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 191 . I love the laughter , dearest Night Mother , but still I long to hear your voice . It ' s not too late ! Speak to me , that I may set things right ! I can save the Sanctuary , I can save the Brotherhood ! You can have the laughter ! Take it back ! An exchange , then ? The laughter for your voice ? 2nd of Second Seed , 4E 191 . It ' s not safe to leave the Sanctuary . We ' ll stay here . All is well . 29th of Last Seed , 4E 191 . Garnag is gone . Gone gone gone gone gone . Left to get food , but he ' ll be back . It ' s only been three months . Three months . Tree months ? Twelve moths ? Four sloths ! 21st of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 192 . Cicero is dead ! Cicero is born ! The laughter has filled me , filled me so very completely . I am the laughter . I am the jester . The soul that has served as my constant companion for so long has breached the veil of the Void finally and forever . It is now in me . It is me . The world has seen the last of Cicero the man . Behold Cicero , Fool of hearts - laughter incarnate ! 28th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 200 . Found the old journal , decided to write , a treatise on silence , sound , darkness , and light ! How long has it been since the Night Mother first came here ? How long since I was made Keeper ? How long since I became the fool ? Since I ' ve been alone ? Since Cheydinhal fell ? Since they started pounding on the door , like so many hammered heartbearts ? It ' s dark in here , and quiet . Poor Cicero no longer hears the laughter , for he is the laughter . There is no Listener in Cheydinhal . No Listener in Cyrodiil . No Listener in me . We must leave here . Before the Sanctuary falls . Before the Night Mother burns . Before the Dark Brotherhood withers . Before the laughter dies . 29th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 200 . I took a stroll , and spied a maid , but Matron ' s duty stayed my blade . So busy now , I miss the thrill , if only I had time to kill . Final Volume . 30th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 200 . I have written the letters . So polite . So official ! To Astrid , in Skyrim . Her Sanctuary still stands . Still operates . But how ? No Listener means no Black Sacrament , no Black Sacrament means no contracts . Her family can abandon the Old Ways , and still survive , still kill , but is that family still Brotherhood ? Or something else ? Something new . Something different . Something wrong ? Something wrong . Still , we must go ! Tomorrow , we set sail . Float on a boat through the moat called the sea her and me ! 22nd of Evening Star , 4E 200 . Sick sick sick of the rocking tossing rolling throwing upon the gray gray waves ! I ' ve been reading of Skyrim , of the good days , the old days , of the Old Ways . There was another Sanctuary once . A Dawnstar Sanctuary . Good , ancient and strong . Blessed by Sithis . Cicero will go there ! No need of Astrid ! The Mother and I will settle , and she will speak to me , finally , and we will build the Old Ways anew , together . 23rd of Evening Star , 4E 200 . The passphrase is mine ! I have found it , in a letter ancient as the Sanctuary itself . The Black Door will ask " What is life ' s greatest illusion ? " I am to answer - " Innocence my brother . " Finally , a space , a place , to call my own ! A joker ' s retreat for the Fool of Hearts ! ! ! ! 4th of First Seed , 4E 201 . The Sanctuary is home ! As I had dared hope ! Cool and dark and lovely . My Sanctuary , Sanctuary from all . I know its every corner , every hall , every shadowed nook and alcove . My Sanctuary . The guardians know me , recognize me as Keeper . They leave poor Cicero alone . The big ugly beast - a different story . He ' d eat me if he could , but to bind me , grind me , he ' d need to find me . And Cicero will make sure that does not happen . For I have Sanctuary ! Sanctuary from all . 13th of First Seed , 4E 201 . The Sanctuary is safety , and salvation . But silent , so silent . I give my love to the Unholy Matron . I give my laughter freely . But I do not hear her . The silence has returned . Now that I am laughter , and no longer hear laughter , I once again hear the silence . The silence of the Void . It reached across time and space . Its silence is deafening , once more . 1st of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 201 . Mother and Keeper must go . I am not the Listener , and never will be . But I am the Keeper . I must serve my Mother ' s will above my own . I must find her Listener . I must teach Astrid the error of her ways , the beauty and necessity of the Old Ways . I have sent the letter to Astrid . We leave soon . But Cicero will keep this Sanctuary as his Sanctuary ! A place to rest and ply my trade , for I once more take up the blade , and send some lucky souls to Him , when laughter strikes , as fits my whim !