The Squire of Gothos ( episode ) The " Enterprise " is captured by Trelane , the childish ruler of Gothos . Summary . Teaser . En route to the Beta VI colony , the must pass through a void , or " star desert " – a region of space where solar systems are not common , roughly 900 light year s from Earth . While there , they discover a rogue planet comprised primarily of iron - silica . Sulu prepares to steer around it when he suddenly vanishes . Seconds later , Captain Kirk also disappears . Being informed of this by navigator DeSalle , Spock orders all reverse power . Act One . Spock and the crew of the " Enterprise " conduct a sensor sweep of where Kirk and Sulu could be . The bridge crew conclude , since they can find absolutely no trace of them on the " Enterprise " , that their two missing officers have to be on the planet even though it is extremely inhospitable . Despite this , it appears to host some form of life and someone transmits a clear , if somewhat archaic , greeting . " " Hip - hip hoorah . And , I believe , it is pronounced " Tally - ho " . " " , Spock reads . Spock orders a beam down , and a landing party consisting of DeSalle , Jaeger , and Dr . McCoy discover a zone of Earth - like conditions , and within it , a large fortified manor ( or small castle ) . Inside is a collection of bizarre artifacts and decorations – and the frozen forms of Kirk and Sulu . " " They ' re like waxworks figures " " , McCoy notes . Almost as soon as the missing officers are discovered , the door slams shut , and a harpsichord begins to play ; seated there is a foppish figure in a blue coat and ruffled shirt . He introduces himself as General Trelane ( retired ) , the Squire of Gothos . Trelane is friendly enough at first , but does not hesitate to make it clear that he is in firm control of the situation . When Kirk demands to Trelane that they are to leave immediately and go back to the " Enterprise " , Trelane transports him to the outside of his castle , which is filled with toxic gas , as a demonstration of his " authority " . When Trelane returns Kirk to his home a few seconds later , the captain is choking and coughing . Trelane makes it quite clear that the landing party is not leaving . " " Now , you will behave yourselves hereafter , won ' t you ? Or I shall be very , very angry " " , Trelane threatens . Act Two . On the " Enterprise " , Spock has Scott beam up everything that is considered a life form within the life - supporting zone the planet . In Trelane ' s castle , McCoy informs Kirk that he is receiving a transporter signal through his communicator . The landing party is about to be beamed up to the ship . Trelane , furious that his " guests " are departing , shouts to Kirk , " " Wait , I won ' t have this ! I haven ' t dismissed you yet ! Stop ! I won ' t " have " this ! " " Back aboard the " Enterprise " , an escape attempt is then underway . However , this only lasts a few brief moments before Trelane appears on the bridge . He immediately develops a dislike for Spock , since Kirk announced Trelane ' s " party " was over thanks to Spock prior to being beamed up . " " I have a perfectly enchanting sojourn on Gothos planned for all of you " " , he states . Suddenly , Kirk , Spock , McCoy , Uhura , DeSalle , Jaeger , Sulu , and Yeoman Ross find themselves in Trelane ' s drawing room , with a large dining table set up . DeSalle tries to attack Trelane but is frozen . After Kirk demands Trelane release him , he does . " " We haven ' t even got our phaser s " " , Sulu quietly reminds the navigator . Several mistakes and incongruities , including a fire without heat and food and brandy without taste , convince Kirk that Trelane is not omnipotent and knows only the forms of Human society , not the substance , and further lead him to conclude that some agency is assisting Trelane – a machine of some type . While Trelane flirts with Yeoman Ross , Kirk has had enough and is fairly sure that Trelane ' s mirror is his source of power , the captain challenges him to a duel . " " And captain . . . I " never " miss " " , Trelane tells Kirk while aiming his pistol at the captain ' s head . Act Three . During the duel , Trelane fires his gun into the ceiling and invites Kirk to shoot at him . " " And now , captain , my fate is in your hands . " " Kirk takes aim at Trelane and instead shoots the large mirror behind Trelane . Kirk ' s guess is right ; intricate machinery behind the mirror is destroyed , and much of Trelane ' s creation collapses , enabling the landing party to escape and flee Gothos . Trelane is enraged . " " Go back ! Go back to your ship , all of you ! And prepare , you ' re " all " dead men . " You " especially , captain . " " Trelane goes toward his mirror and disappears . Kirk flips open his communicator and contacts the " Enterprise " to beam all of them up . The respite is brief . The " Enterprise " flees in the direction of Beta VI , but Trelane reveals that his power is more extensive than yet displayed as the planet Gothos appears directly in the path of the ship . Kirk immediately orders Sulu to turn the " Enterprise " hard to port to avoid a collision . Kirk wonders if the " Enterprise " has been going in circles , but Sulu ' s instruments show that they ' re on course for Beta VI . Gothos appears in front of the ship again and Sulu executes a hard turn to starboard this time to avoid the collision again . Spock compares their situation as a " cat and mouse game " with Kirk lamenting that they ' re the mouse . Gothos appears in front of them again but this time Trelane becomes wise to their tactics and continuously moves the planet in front of the " Enterprise " no matter which way she turns . Finally , Kirk realizes he must confront Trelane and orders the " Enterprise " to accelerate into orbit so he can beam down , but before he can , Trelane snatches the captain down to the surface and into his kangaroo court where a bewigged Trelane has established himself as a judge , and this time , his instrumentality is unbreakable . Trelane plans to execute Kirk for the crime of opposing him . " " You will hang by the neck captain , until you are dead , dead , dead ! " " Act Four . But it is all too easy for the powerful alien . " " That ' s your problem , Trelane . Everything is easy . It ' s given you a bad habit . You not aware of it but you have it , " " Kirk tells him . " " Eh ? " " , Trelane asks . Seizing on this , Kirk suggests Trelane needs a challenge , and offers to provide one , suggesting a hunt . Trelane is delighted at the prospect and readily agrees . Trelane hunts Kirk for a time , and soon enough captures him . As Kirk is about to be killed , he calls Trelane ' s bluff , breaks his sword , and starts to scold him , like he would a child . Salvation comes in the form of Trelane ' s mother and Trelane ' s father , who appear as disembodied , hovering glowing green lights . It seems that Trelane is essentially a naughty child who has overstepped his bounds , especially how he treats his " pets " . His parents , telling Trelane that it is " time to come in now " , apologize to Kirk , free the " Enterprise " and take Trelane away to be disciplined . Trelane ' s parents vanish and Kirk regains contact with the " Enterprise " . Later , Spock asks Kirk what he should describe Trelane as . Kirk tells him to classify him as a " " small boy – and a very naughty one at that . " " He tells Spock that Trelane probably engaged in the same " " mischievous pranks " " the Vulcan did as a young boy . Spock is confused by this classification , so Kirk continues . " " Dipping little girls curls in inkwells . Stealing apple s from the neighbor ' s trees . Tying cans on . . . " " , at which point Spock expresses complete incredulity . " " Forgive me , Mr . Spock . I should have known better " " , Kirk remarks . Spock says he shall be delighted , then raises an eyebrow before returning to his station . The " Enterprise " then enters orbit of Beta VI . Memorable quotes . " " I can ' t imagine a mirage ever disturbing those mathematically perfect brain waves of yours . " " " " Do you know that you ' re one of the few predator species that preys even on itself ? " " " " Wait ! I won ' t have this ! I haven ' t dismissed you yet ! Stop it ! ! I won ' t have this ! ! " " " " I object to you . I object to intellect without discipline . I object to power without constructive purpose . " " " " Why , Mr . Spock , you do have one saving grace after all — you ' re ill mannered ! " " " " Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected . In this case , I should think interesting would suffice . " " " " Now , you will behave yourselves hereafter , won ' t you ? Or I shall be very , very angry . " " " " Oh , the remarkable treachery of the species ! " " " " Turn in your glass slippers . The ball is over . " " " " Gladly , captain . " " " " Cat and mouse game . " " " " With us as the mouse . " " " " You will hang by the neck , captain , until you are dead , dead , dead ! " " " So this is victory ! It has a sweet taste . " " " " You broke it ! You broke my sword ! " " " " You always stop me when I ' m having fun ! " " " " I was winning . I would have won . . . " " " " They ' re beings , Trelane . They have spirit . They ' re superior . " " " " My father is from the planet Vulcan . " " " " And are its natives predatory ? " " " " Not generally – but there have been exceptions . " " Links and references . References . alligator - like creature ; apple ; ; Beta VI ; bird - like creature ; ; " Bones " ; brandy ; cat ; cat - and - mouse game ; " Cinderella " ; conspiracy ; court ; Crusades ; desert ; dizziness ; drawing room ; dueling pistol ; dune ; Earth ; ego ; energy ; female ; field - of - honor game ; fire ; fireplace ; French ; French language ; gender ; general ; geophysics ; German ; German language ; glass ; Gothos ; Grecian ; ; hanging ; Hannibal ; harpsichord ; Heaven ; Helen ; " I ' m a doctor , not a . . . " ; Ilium ; inkwell ; insurrection ; iron ; island ; laser beacon ; life support system ; light warp ; logic ; matter ; meat ; meteorology ; mile ; mirage ; mirror machine ; mouse ; nostalgia ; Nubian ; oasis ; oxygen ; palate ; palm tree ; Persia ; powerful and godlike beings ; prank ; Quadrant 904 ; Queen of Sheba ; red alert ; " Roses from the South " ; Sarek ; Sheba ; silica ; slipper ; soldier ; Spacefleet Command ; squire ; star desert ; stardust ; straw ; storm ; subspace radio ; Surak ; sword ; tornadic storms ; transporter system ; treason ; trial ; ; waxworks figure ; war galley ; water ; wine ; wood ; wood nymph