Chris Langham Chris Langham ( b . 1949 ) is a writer , comedian and actor who wrote for " The Muppet Show " , beginning in the third season . He was hired by Jim Henson on the recommendation of " Muppet Show " guest star John Cleese . Henson was looking to tap into the wacky , off - the - wall school of British humor that derived from " The Goon Show " and Monty Python , and comedian Langham shared that sensibility , having worked with not only the Pythons but also " Goon Show " creator Spike Milligan , another " Muppet Show " guest . During the hiring process he was asked to write scripts for three sketches - an At the Dance , a monologue for Fozzie , and a backstage plot - and he contributed to before joining the writing staff full - time in season 3 . As a " Muppet Show " writer , Langham received two awards from the American Writers ' Guild . He was also featured as the guest star in . Before " The Muppet Show " , Langham had been a writer / performer on the first season of the seminal British sketch show " Not The Nine O ' Clock News " , known for being the first vehicle for Rowan Atkinson . In the second season , Langham was replaced , to his chagrin , by Griff Rhys Jones , and his parts were significantly cut from later video and DVD releases . To demonstrate there were no hard feelings , Langham later contributed to and appeared on sketch series " Alas Smith and Jones " , one of Rhys Jones ' many projects with fellow " Not " alum Mel Smith . As a comic performer , Langham had a taste for the bizarre - - performing , for example , a trapezeless trapeze - act which featured himself and a colleague running back and forth across the stage , grasping and releasing each other ' s hands . Another solo piece was a tongue - in - cheek lecture on " How to speak Japanese " in which he pointed out that the three key elements of the Japanese language were to be cold , constipated and forgetful . " Cold , Constipated and Forgetful , it ' s an old Cole Porter song . " Langham ' s inclusion on " The Muppet Show " writing staff resulted in some inspired bits of silliness , typified by Louis Kazagger ' s description of the bagpipe as " one of the deadliest creatures known to man . " Another concept attributed to Langham was the entire Muppet Theatre shoving off to sea in . Langham was given a one - in - a - million chance to shine when he became a " Muppet Show " guest as a last - minute replacement for Richard Pryor . On the show , he performed several pieces of his own devising , including a card trick in which the cards were replaced by raw sausages ( " Now I will ask you to memorize that sausage " ) , as well as singing a Hawaii an war chant while trapped inside his dressing room wardrobe . He also performed the self - devised Time Machine sketch , a frantic short monologue which he performed in a white lab coat with remarkably Muppet - like enthusiasm : " [ Langham leaps onstage . ] " Hello ! This is what I ' m working on at the moment . It ' s a time travel apparatus ! [ Evil laughter ] Excuse me . If all my calculations are correct , all I have to do is pull this little lever here , and I go travelling backwards through time ! [ Pulls lever ] Time through backwards travelling go I , and here lever little this pull , is do to , have I all , correct are calculations my all if . Me excuse . [ Evil laughter ] Apparatus travel time a it ' s ! Moment the at on working I ' m , what is this , hello ! " [ Leaps offstage . ] " Other notable credits include his award - winning performance as Roy Mallard in breakthrough mockumentary series " People Like Us " , first on BBC radio and then on television . In 1979 , Langham was Arthur Dent in the first professional stage adaptation of " The Hitchhiker ' s Guide to the Galaxy " . In the same year , he appeared in Monty Python ' s " Life of Brian " . He wrote the BBC sitcom " Kiss Me Kate " and directed the Richard E . Grant TV vehicle " Posh Nosh " . In 2005 , Langham starred in the political sitcom " In The Thick of It " and as the psychiatrist in " Help " , a vehicle for " Fast Show " star Paul Whitehouse . As a West End actor , his credits in stage musicals include " The Pirates Of Penzance " ( at Theatre Royal Drury Lane in 1982 ) and the original London cast of " Crazy For You " ( at The Prince Edward Theatre in 1993 ) . Sources . _ _ NOWYSIWYG _ _