Palla , volume 2 Palla . Palla . Pal La . The name burned in my heart . I found myself whispering it in my studies even when I tried to concentrate on something the Magister was saying . My lips would silently purse to voice the " Pal , " and tongue lightly flick to form the " La " as if I were kissing her spirit before me . It was madness in every way except that I knew that it was madness . I knew I was in love . I knew she was a noble Redguard woman , a fierce warrior more beautiful than the stars . I knew her young daughter Betaniqi had taken possession of a manorhouse near the Guild , and that she liked me , perhaps was even infatuated . I knew Palla had fought a terrible beast and killed it . I knew Palla was dead . As I say , I knew it was madness , and by that , I knew I could not be mad . But I also knew that I must return to Betaniqi ' s palace to see her statue of my beloved Palla engaged in that final , horrible , fatal battle with the monster . Return I did , over and over again . Had Betaniqi been a different sort of noblewoman , more comfortable with her peers , I would not have had so many opportunities . In her innocence , unaware of my sick obsession , she welcomed my company . We would talk for hours , laughing , and every time we would take a walk to the reflecting pond where I would always stop breathless before the sculpture of her mother . " It ' s a marvelous tradition you have , preserving these figures of your ancestors at their finest moments , " I said , feeling her curious eyes on me . " And the craftsmanship is without parallel . " " You wouldn ' t believe me , " laughed the girl . " But it was a bit of scandal when my great grandfather began the custom . We Redguards hold a great reverence for our families , but we are warriors , not artists . He hired an traveling artist to create the first statues , and everyone admired them until it was revealed that the artist was an elf . An Altmer from the Summerset Isle . " " Scandal ! " " It was , absolutely , " Betaniqi nodded seriously . " The idea that a pompous , wicked elf ' s hands had formed these figures of noble Redguard warriors was unthinkable , profane , irreverent , everything bad you can imagine . But my great grandfather ' s heart was in the beauty of it , and his philosophy of using the best to honor the best passed down to us all . I would not have even considered having a lesser artist create the statues of my parents , even if it would have been more allegiant to my culture . " " They ' re all exquisite , " I said . " But you like the one of my mother most of all , " she smiled . " I see you look at it even when you seem to be looking at the others . It ' s my favorite also . " " Would you tell me more about her ? " I asked , trying to keep my voice light and conversational . " Oh , she would have said she was nothing extraordinary , but she was , " the girl said , picking a flower from the garden . " My father died when I was quite young , and she had so many roles to fill , but she did them all effortlessly . We have a great many business interests and she was brilliant at managing everything . Certainly better than I am now . All it took was her smile and everyone obeyed , and those that didn ' t paid dearly . She was very witty and charming , but a formidable force when the need arose for her to fight . Hundreds of battles , but I can never remember a moment of feeling neglected or unloved . I literally thought she was too strong for death . Stupid , I know , but when she went to battle that - - that horrible creature , that freak from a mad wizard ' s laboratory , I never even thought she would not return . She was kind to her friends and ruthless to her enemies . What more can one say about a woman than that ? " Poor Betaniqi ' s eyes teared up with remembrance . What sort of villain was I to goad her so , in order to satisfy my perverted longings ? Sheogorath could never have conflicted a mortal man more than me . I found myself both weeping and filled with desire . Palla not only looked like a goddess , but from her daughter ' s story , she was one . That night while undressing for bed , I rediscovered the black disc I had stolen from Magister Tendixus ' s office weeks before . I had half - forgotten about its existence , that mysterious necromantic artifact which the mage believed could resurrect a dead love . Almost by pure instinct , I found myself placing the disc on my heart and whispering , " Palla . " A momentary chill filled my chamber . My breath hung in the air in a mist before dissipating . Frightened I dropped the disc . It took a moment before my reason returned , and with it the inescapable conclusion : the artifact could fulfill my desire . Until the early morning hours , I tried to raise my mistress from the chains of Oblivion , but it was no use . I was no necromancer . I entertained thoughts of how to ask one of the Magisters to help me , but I remembered how Magister Ilther had bid me to destroy it . They would expel me from the Guild if I went to them and destroy the disc themselves . And with it , my only key to bringing my love to me . I was in my usual semi - torpid condition the next day in classes . Magister Ilther himself was lecturing on his specialty , the School of Enchantment . He was a dull speaker with a monotone voice , but suddenly I felt as if every shadow had left the room and I was in a palace of light . " When most persons think of my particular science , they think of the process of invention . The infusing of charms and spells into objects . The creation of a magickal blade , perhaps , or a ring . But the skilled enchanter is also a catalyst . The same mind that can create something new can also provoke greater power from something old . A ring that can generate warmth for a novice , on the hand of such a talent can bake a forest black . " The fat man chuckled : " Not that I ' m advocating that . Leave that for the School of Destruction . " That week all the initiates were asked to choose a field of specialization . All were surprised when I turned my back on my old darling , the School of Illusion . It seemed ridiculous to me that I had ever entertained an affection for such superficial charms . All my intellect was now focused on the School of Enchantment , the means by which I could free the power of the disc . For months thereafter , I barely slept . A few hours a week , I ' d spend with Betaniqi and my statue to give myself strength and inspiration . All the rest of my time was spent with Magister Ilther or his assistants , learning everything I could about enchantment . They taught me how to taste the deepest levels of magicka within a stored object . " A simple spell cast once , no matter how skillfully and no matter how spectacularly , is ephemeral , of the present , what it is and no more , " sighed Magister Ilther . " But placed in a home , it develops into an almost living energy , maturing and ripening so only its surface is touched when an unskilled hand wields it . You must consider yourself a miner , digging deeper to pull forth the very heart of gold . " Every night when the laboratory closed , I practiced what I had learned . I could feel my power grow and with it , the power of the disc . Whispering " Palla , " I delved into the artifact , feeling every slight nick that marked the runes and every facet of the gemstones . At times I was so close to her , I felt hands touching mine . But something dark and bestial , the reality of death I suppose , would always break across the dawning of my dream . With it came an overwhelming rotting odor , which the initiates in the chambers next to mine began to complain about . " Something must have crawled into the floorboards and died , " I offered lamely . Magister Ilther praised my scholarship , and allowed me the use of his laboratory after hours to further my studies . Yet no matter what I learned , Palla seemed scarcely closer . One night , it all ended . I was swaying in a deep ecstasy , moaning her name , the disc bruising my chest , when a sudden lightning flash through the window broke my concentration . A tempest of furious rain roared over Mir Corrup . I went to close the shutters , and when I returned to my table , I found that the disc had shattered . I broke into hysterical sobs and then laughter . It was too much for my fragile mind to bear such a loss after so much time and study . The next day and the day after , I spent in my bed , burning with a fever . Had I not been at a Mages Guild with so many healers , I likely would have died . As it was , I provided an excellent study for the budding young scholars . When at last I was well enough to walk , I went to visit Betaniqi . She was charming as always , never once commenting on my appearance , which must have been ghastly . Finally I gave her reason to worry when I politely but firmly declined to walk with her along the reflecting pool . " But you love looking at the statuary , " she exclaimed . I felt that I owed her the truth and much more . " Dear lady , I love more than the statuary . I love your mother . She is all I ' ve been able to think about for months now , ever since you and I first removed the tarp from that blessed sculpture . I don ' t know what you think of me now , but I have been obsessed with learning how to bring her back from the dead . " Betaniqi stared at me , eyes wide . Finally she spoke : " I think you need to leave now . I don ' t know if this is a terrible jest - - " " Believe me , I wish it were . You see , I failed . I don ' t know why . It could not have been that my love wasn ' t strong enough , because no man had a stronger love . Perhaps my skills as an enchanter are not masterful , but it wasn ' t from lack of study ! " I could feel my voice rise and knew I was beginning to rant , but I could not hold back . " Perhaps the fault lay in that your mother never met me , but I think that only the caster ' s love is taken into account in the necromantic spell . I don ' t know what it was ! Maybe that horrible creature , the monster that killed her , cast some sort of curse on her with its dying breath ! I failed ! And I don ' t know why ! " With a surprising burst of speed and strength for so small a lady , Betaniqi shoved herself against me . She screamed , “ Get out ! ” and I fled out the door . Before she slammed the door shut , I offered my pathetic apologies : " I ' m so sorry , Betaniqi , but consider that I wanted to bring your mother back to you . It ' s madness , I know , but there is only one thing that ' s certain in my life and that ' s that I love Palla . " The door was nearly shut , but the girl opened it crack to ask tremulously : " You love whom ? " " Palla ! " I cried to the Gods . " My mother , " she whispered angrily . " Was named Xarlys . Palla was the monster . " I stared at the closed door for Mara knows how much time , and then began the long walk back to the Mages Guild . My memory searched through the minutiae to the Tales and Tallows night so long ago when I first beheld the statue , and first heard the name of my love . That Breton initiate , Gelyn had spoken . He was behind me . Was he recognizing the beast and not the lady ? I turned the lonely bend that intersected with the outskirts of Mir Corrup , and a large shadow rose from the ground where it had been sitting , waiting for me . " Palla , " I groaned . " Pal La . " " Kiss me , " it howled . And that brings my story up to the present moment . Love is red , like blood .