Cicero ' s Journal - Volume 4 Content . 1st of Hearthfire , 4E 189 Cheydinhal has erupted into violence and chaos , like so many other cities before it . The Sanctuary has remained unbreached , but for how long ? Our numbers are few , and with no Speaker , the contracts have dwindled almost to nothingness . Rasha ' s hold on the Sanctuary is slipping . 26th of Frostfall , 4E 189 Silence ! Deafening silence ! In my head in my head in my head . It is the silence of death , the silence of the Void . Seeping into me , through the Mother . The silence is hatred . The silence is rage . The silence is love . 4th of Evening Star , 4E 189 Today , Rasha declared himself Listener , claiming the Night Mother spoke to him at last . But when questioned , he could not name the Binding Words . Liar ! Deceiver ! His charade must not stand . 5th of Evening Star , 4E 189 Rasha is dead . As commanded by the silence , so did I obey . I did not wield the knife , oh no , but dipped the honey softly sweet , into Garnag ' s eager ear . He is a good brother . A loyal brother . To both Cicero and our Matron . He did the deed , gladly . 10th of Sun ' s Dawn , 4E 190 Only three of us left . Cicero , Garnag , Pontius . 15th of Sun ' s Dawn , 4E 190 The Night Mother remains silent . I remain unworthy . The Sanctuary remains doomed . 3rd of First Seed , 4E 190 I can hear it . Deeper , and deeper . Louder and louder , punctuating the silence like thunder on a calm evening . Laughter . 4th of First Seed , 4E 190 Laughing , laughing , laughing , laughing ! It is the jester ! A voice from the Void , to cheer poor Cicero ! I accept your gift , dearest Night Mother . Thank you for my laughter . Thank you for my friend . 16th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 191 Pontius is dead . A Dark Brotherhood assassin was killed by a common bandit while walking the streets of Cheydinhal . How can something so sad be so funny ? 17th of Rain ' s Hand , 4E 191 I love the laughter , dearest Night Mother , but still I long to hear your voice . It ' s not too late ! Speak to me , my mother ! Speak to me , that I may set things right ! I can save the Sanctuary , I can save the Brotherhood ! You can have the laughter ! Take it back ! An exchange , then ? The laughter for your voice ? 2nd of Second Seed , 4E 191 It ' s not safe to leave the Sanctuary . We ' ll stay here . All is well . 29th of Last Seed , 4E 191 Garnag is gone . Gone gone gone gone gone . Left to get food , but he ' ll be back . It ' s only been three months . Three months . Tree months ? Twelve moths ? Four sloths ! 21st of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 192 Cicero is dead ! Cicero is born ! The laughter has filled me , filled me so very completely . I am the laughter . I am the jester . The soul that has served as my constant companion for so long has breached the veil of the Void finally and forever . It is now in me . It is me . The world has seen the last of Cicero the man . Behold Cicero , Fool of Hearts - laughter incarnate ! 28th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 200 Found the old journal , decided to write , a treatise on silence , sound , darkness and light ! How long has it been since the Night Mother first came here ? How long since I was made Keeper ? How long since I became the fool ? Since I ' ve been alone ? Since Cheydinhal fell ? Since they started pounding on the door , like so many hammered heartbeats ? It ' s dark in here , and quiet . Poor Cicero no longer hears the laughter , for he is the laughter . There is no Listener in Cheydinhal . No Listener in Cyrodiil . No Listener in me . We must leave here . Before the Sanctuary falls . Before the Night Mother burns . Before the Dark Brotherhood withers . Before the laughter dies . 29th of Sun ' s Dusk , 4E 200 I took a stroll , and spied a maid , but Matron ' s duty stayed my blade . So busy now , I miss the thrill , if only I had time to kill .