Cost of Living ( episode ) Lwaxana Troi is on board the " Enterprise " - D to hold her wedding ceremony , and she also takes an interest in Worf ' s son Alexander , encouraging him to adopt her carefree ways . Summary . Teaser . The destroys an asteroid in danger of colliding with Tessen III , near Starbase 117 , after multiple methods used . As the " Enterprise " continues its course to the Moselina system , however , a mysterious dust heads straight to the ship and is absorbed . Act One . Worf brings his son Alexander before Counselor Deanna Troi to resolve discipline issues . Troi decides there is little respect in their relationship , so she recommends they draft a " contract " outlining each other ' s responsibilities and chores . This way , they could stand on equal footing and both have say in what needs to be done . Although Worf is hesitant to allow Alexander to have equal footing , he agrees to it . Unbeknownst to Deanna , Lwaxana Troi , along with her servant , Mr . Homn , come aboard the " Enterprise " . She calls in to inform Deanna of her wedding ceremony , much to her surprise . They meet in Ten Forward , where Lwaxana tells Deanna about the groom , a local nobleman named Campio . Further , she intends to have the wedding in Ten Forward , further to Deanna ' s surprise . Lwaxana is already thinking of how to decorate it for the occasion . Deanna tries to get more details when Worf and Alexander come in to get some more advice on their situation . Instead , Lwaxana intrudes in her usual style . She hears of her daughter ' s plan for Worf and Alexander , and notes that contracts are usually made between two parties who do not trust one another , and that it would not be equal in any case because Alexander would have no way of policing Worf ' s commitments . Later , Captain Picard expresses to Riker his dissatisfaction with " that woman " using the " Enterprise " as her personal rec room . However , when Riker reveals that Picard will be giving Lwaxana away at the wedding , Picard immediately agrees as " nothing would please [ him ] more . " Just as Picard and Riker continue to walk down the corridor , the dust begins to infest the " Enterprise " by moving about the ship out of sight . Act Two . Lwaxana finds Alexander waiting for Deanna for their session . Hearing his feelings about hating the rules his father imposes , and wishing he had his mother , she attempts to comfort him by taking him to break the rules for awhile . In holodeck two , she conjures up a program of the Parallax colony , a society of unusual , fun - loving souls , for a relaxing mud bath . Alexander gets in to the spirit of the program quickly . Deanna and Worf , realizing Alexander is gone , locate him and eventually confront Lwaxana during the mud bath . Act Three . In Lwaxana ' s quarters , Deanna demands that she stop undermining their efforts to instill Alexander with responsibility . She eventually pries and questions why she isn ' t busy with wedding planning . It seems Mr . Homn is taking care of details , so Lwaxana has time on her hands . Deanna is surprised to hear Lwaxana is accepting a wedding without Betazoid traditions including being naked , but Lwaxana brushes it off as compromise . Meanwhile , Data and La Forge are in engineering investigating the over 200 reports of malfunctioning replicator s . An energy fluctuation in an access corridor draws them out , afraid of what will happen if the captain decides to order dinner . At the access corridor , La Forge finds an odd EM pattern but not serious . Then , a mysterious goo drips out from behind the panel . Lwaxana is now with Mr . Homn trying on the dress . She is clearly uncomfortable , but Homn doesn ' t think any of her changes are feasible . Then , Alexander comes to the door to apologize if he got her into trouble earlier . Lwaxana thanks him and laughs , then relates to him about marriage being between those that like each other a lot . However , for those that are older one must compromise . She ' s happy Alexander visited . Picard is briefed on the replicators on the bridge . It turns out that the data net interface , which routes replicator selections to the correct subprocessors , has been transformed into an unknown gelatinous material . Suddenly , the inertial damping system fails and the ship shakes . Picard orders the ship out of warp , but , then , primary attitude control and helm control fail and the ship shakes even more . Act Four . Fortunately , back - up systems kick in and attitude control returns . Since there are automatic back - up systems for the inertial dampers that didn ' t kick in , Picard orders answers . Later , in the observation lounge , La Forge informs them that the systems suffered the same transformation as the replicators , turned into gelatinous material . They will next attempt to identify the substance . Then , they get word that Campio is beaming aboard . In the transporter room , Campio meets Lwaxana and quickly proves himself to be an ill fit for Lwaxana , insisting on protocol and demanding that she resolve business before she goes to the holodeck for fun , and that she address him with respect and reverence by calling him by his title of minister . Campio ' s assistant , a stringent man named Erko , is appalled by her behavior . Lwaxana , caught at the hub of three completely different conversations all taking place in the same room at the same time , flees with Alexander to the holodeck the moment everyone ' s backs are turned . La Forge and Data finally identify that there is a nitrium parasite on the ship . The parasite begins to infest the entire ship , eating systems away . Realizing the dilithium crystal chamber and power transfer conduit s are vulnerable , they go to investigate . The chamber is fine , but behind an access panel in examining the conduits , they get a glimpse of the parasite as it leaves more of its gelatinous waste . Act Five . Lwaxana and Alexander are almost out of time in the holodeck . The juggler is sad because he ' s eaten his worlds , amusing Alexander . They begin to leave , and Alexander guesses that Lwaxana ' s husband would never take a mud bath . She is optimistic . She senses his sadness , but they are interrupted by obvious malfunctions in the holodeck and they leave . La Forge , Data , and Picard devise a strategy to get rid of the parasites – find the asteroid field from which came the asteroid they previously destroyed , the Pelloris field . It must be rich in nitrium and therefore a natural feeding ground . Picard immediately orders a course at warp 9 , but is reminded by Data that the parasites may do too much damage before then . Data suggests an exanogen gas to slow them down , and , when they get to the field , use the deflector dish to send a nitrium beam to lure the parasites to the field . Unfortunately , the parasite is eating away at the warp system , and the life support system begins to fail . It is now up to Data to fly the ship to the asteroid field , configure the deflector , and rid the ship of the problem . After the " Enterprise " arrives at the Pelloris field , Data , the only conscious crewmember on the bridge , activates the Bussard collector s to include nitrium and aims it at a nearby asteroid . The nitrium parasite then leaves the " Enterprise " and all ship ' s systems begin to return to normal . Lwaxana finally proceeds with the wedding . Campio , and especially Erko , are disturbed to find that as per the Betazoid custom she has arrived at the wedding in the nude . She winks at Alexander , who remains respectful of her spirit . Erko covers Campio ' s eyes and they retreat . Lwaxana remains a bachelorette . Finally , Lwaxana , Alexander , Troi , and an irate Worf share a mud bath together . Memorable quotes . " Ha ! " " HA ! " " Well , it appears the bride won " t be here either " " " Deanna , I love you but you do make everything sound like an epitaph . " " " " What would you like your father to promise , Alexander ? " " " " No yelling . " " " " I DO N . . . I do not yell . " " " " Well , then you should have no trouble with that part . " " " " It may be hard to imagine right now but eventually most children come to appreciate their parents . " " " " Riker to Counselor Troi . Your mother has just come aboard . " " " " On the other hand . . . " " " " Uh , you see , we haven ' t exactly met yet , really . " " " " My dear , don ' t they ever let you change those colorless outfits ? " " " " Of course he ' s unreasonable , he ' s a child ! " " " " I ' m supposed to do everything right all the time . I don ' t know how . " " " " To tell you the truth , little warrior , neither do I . . . " " " " You know , making little boys reasonable only gives them pimple s . " " " " Well who else are you gonna fight with if not your friends ? " " " " I exposed you to all sorts of mixed messages when you were that age , and you still turned out deadly dull . " " " " And you are doing this to your own child , Mr . Woof ? " " " " It is " Worf " , Madam . " " " " Life ' s true gift is the capacity to enjoy enjoyment . " " " " Nothing would please me more than to give away Mrs . Troi . " " " " Wedding gown ? You mean you won ' t be naked at your own wedding ! ? " " " " The higher , the fewer . " " " " You ' re just supposed to " sit here " ? " " " " Every one of us has a thousand different kinds of . . . of little people inside of us . And some of them want to get out and be wild , and some want to be sad or happy or inventive or . . . or even just go dancing . That ' s why we all have so many different urges at different times . And all those different little people inside of us . . . we must never be afraid to take them with us , wherever we go . " " " " I ' m alone , Alex . " " " " Isn ' t it wonderful how things worked out , Alexander ? I wanted to teach you how to grasp the joys of living . And then you turned around and . . . taught me to not let go of them . How very mutual . " " Links and references . References . Unreferenced material . Koropian princess