Fools ' Ebony , Book III Summary . This book is part of a six - part series on Fools ' Ebony , as follows : Content . In The Mages ' Guild , One to Three Days Later PROLOGUE : We are now at the halfway point of our disjointed epic . If you are just arriving , you have missed little . The Adventurer , our rogue Dark Elf , has joined with a quadripartite ( that ' s a triumvirate plus one ) of priests intent on discovering a burning metal called Fools ' Ebony and becoming wealthy . The priests have given our hero some gold for bribing merchants , but the only people who know where the Fools ' Ebony is are the mages of the Mages ' Guild . As the Epilogue pointed out at the end of Part the Twoth , there is no such thing as Fools ' Ebony and real Ebony is not mined . Something our playwright apparently did not research . Well , accept it as high fantasy , if you will . Or whatever . Hark , here comes our hero now . Imagine the miasma ( if that ' s the word I want ) of magical elixirs , bubbling cauldrons , hovering balls of sparkling whatnot . And now , the Prologue must depart . ADVENTURER : Ho ! Anyone around ? SHUB : Over here , young man , in the corner . . . ADVENTURER : Morning . Do I call you . . . Shub . . ? SHUB : Oh yes , Shub is my name , Shub it is . . . How on Tamriel did you know ? ADVENTURER : Can we have some . . . privacy . . . I have a somewhat . . . er . . . delicate matter to discuss . . ? SHUB : No need for privacy here ! We Mages do not hide anything ! ADVENTURER : Fools ' Ebony ? SHUB : Quick through this door . . ! Turn right . . . Turn left . . . Ah . . . just let me throw a privacy spell around us . . . Good ! Now Sir — Oh , by the way , meet my fellow Mage , Shub . SHUB : Mmmm . SHUB : Now , you mentioned Fools ' Ebony . . ? ADVENTURER : Well , I fancy myself a bit of an expert in ebony . Had quite a bit come and go through my hands in my time , I have . . . SHUB : We notice that you have an ebony amulet , and an ebony katana - - Of Lightning , no less ! And an ebony belt . . . . . . mmmm . . . ADVENTURER : Hands off the toys , gentlemen , please ! SHUB : Forgive us — but we so appreciate such fine items . . . SHUB : . . . collect them too . . . ADVENTURER : Well , the other day , just by chance of course , I just happened to hear two priests of the Temple of . . . er . . . Stendarr , I think it was . . . They were a bit high in their cups , I think , a bit loud , and never noticed me skulking — I mean , standing — there . They were going on about this Fools ' Ebony - stuff like the real thing , only no magicka at all . None . But it burns like wood , only longer , hotter , no smoke , nice even heat . SHUB : Yes . . . we have heard similar rumors . Seen a bit of that stuff — lumps from a sack or two that some crazed delver dragged up , that kind of thing . Right , Shub ? SHUB : Oh - Oh yes , right , that kind of thing . . . right . . . ( aside ) I must remember to keep the secret , whatever it is . ADVENTURER : Well , these fool priests seemed to talk as if they knew a location for lots , I mean piles , of that stuff — somewhere up in the Wrothgarians . . . SHUB and SHUB ( Together ) : Where ! Who ! Did they say ? How ? When ? Where ? SHUB : You didn ' t let them know you were listening , did you ? ADVENTURER : Of course not ! What do you take me for , a priest lover ? SHUB : Calm yourself , my lord . . . that ' s better . . . just don ' t go fiddling with that katana so much . Makes us nervous . SHUB : Yes , nervous , very . . . SHUB : Here , sit down . There . Want some mulled wine ? No ? Oh well , just have to finish it myself . SHUB : So they seemed to know the location . ( aside ) Hmmmm . This means we have to act fast , quickly , speedily , and with great rapidity . ADVENTURER : Oh yes ! They were talking like they were going to get a load in a few weeks or so . . . SHUB : Oh My ! Oh Dear Me ! Ohhh . . . SHUB : Now then . Seems you know a fair amount about this Fools ' Ebony . And you realize the potential — just think , big warm fires in all our study rooms . . . SHUB and SHUB ( Together ) : . . . Selling it to the Palace . . . selling it to those stupid Alchemists . . . the Armorer ' s Guild would be good for a lot . . . . . . keep out familiars nice and warm . . . . . . and our posteriors . . ! . . . just think how Daedra Seducers love a nice warm fire . . . Giving smoldering lumps to the peasants to warm their hovels with - in return for some gold , of course . . . SHUB : . . . just think of all that gold . . . SHUB : Trouble is , son - we would like to get that stuff by the cartload , bring it down here . . . SHUB : Have some trustworthy merchant . . . SHUB : Put a spell on him ! SHUB : . . . Have some merchant act as sort of , middleman , for us . . . ADVENTURER : But . . . then why the delay , gentlemen ? SHUB : You seem like an honest fellow . We ' ll tell you — mind you , you let out a word of this , and there will be a Fire Daedra in your bed . . . but no threats between gentlemen , right ! ADVENTURER : Very well — I shall be the very soul of discretion . SHUB : You see , we know where the stuff it , cartloads and cartloads of it . But we can ' t get there and back . . . SHUB : We are not the outdoorsy types . SHUB : Far safer here in town . SHUB : Much warmer too . SHUB : Think of all the supplies we would have to take . SHUB : All those nasty things out there . SHUB : Did you know that seducers won ' t come to us in the wilderness ? SHUB : We ' d have to hire guards , to keep those awful priests away . SHUB : And the strain of dealing with all those coarse types . . . the Merchants . SHUB : The Armorers . SHUB : The Royals . ADVENTURER : Mmm . I think I comprehend . You want some — experienced explorer - hero type , someone used to the wilderness - to go get it for you , set up a supply line , so on . . ? SHUB : Exactly . And find us a nice , usable merchant . Someone we can control . SHUB : With a big , big warehouse , delivery service , that kind of thing . . . ADVENTURER : Well , gentlemen . Let me volunteer my services ! I have always admired you Mage gentlemen — so clever , so sharp . No fooling you in anything , is there ? SHUB : No , no fooling us . . . PROLOGUE : This , ladies and gentlemen , is irony . ADVENTURER : Tell you what , I can probably arrange a suitable merchant or you . Take some gold though — those thieves know the value of a gold piece ! As luck would have it , my last gold was swindled off me by a thieving priest , in some little town south of here . And I lost a lot of good stuff in a shipwreck just before that . . . SHUB : Well . . . since you have agreed to help us . . . we can spare some gold from the treasury , can ' t we , Shub ? SHUB : Oh ! Oh yes , lots there . . . always make more . . . ADVENTURER : Now , I do need to know roughly where this site is , got to pick the right breed of horse , calculate my supplies to the last drop , figure out what weapons I might need . . . supplies , like food , little things like that . . . diameter of the cart wheels in square yurt s . . . ambush points for the priests , in case they try to get up there . . . mmmmm . . . SHUB : Tell you what - here is 500 gold . Go get things started . SHUB : Yes . . . we can always make some more . SHUB : ( aside , to Shub ) Shut up ! ( to all ) Excuse us . . . where was I . . . Oh . . . get a merchant , guards , carts , whatever you think it will take . Come back if you need more . SHUB : But what about those priests ? ADVENTURER : I ' ve an idea or two there . Let me get friendly with them - maybe hire a couple of good lamppost girls , lay in a few cases of holy wine . . . I ' ll have them eating out of my hand in no time . And if you show me where this Fools ' Ebony is . . . why , I can misdirect them , send them straight into an trolls ' den or something . SHUB : You ' re the expert ! Here , let me show you on a map . . . and I don ' t need to mention Fire Daedras , do I ? ADVENTURER : So . . . seems to be . . . hmmmm . . . only thirty days there , this time of year . Maybe forty back , with the loads . Let me study this a bit more . . . SHUB : Can ' t take it with you , of course . . . don ' t want this getting out now . . . ADVENTURER : Oh no . That ' s fine . Look , let me have a bit more gold . Going to need some heavy - duty carts . See here , this section . . . cut by all these washes . . . hmmmm . . . the flummox there will be something terrible . . . Oh , and these ruins , full of ghosts , I bet . . . hmmmm . . . and this pass , just full of willies too . . . SHUB : If you say so . . . My , seems that we picked the right man , right , Shub ! SHUB : Oh yes , indeed . ADVENTURER : So — why don ' t I make arrangements , get back to you in . . . er . . . say a week ? Say — sure that you don ' t want to come with me . After all , there ' s nothing like the wilderness life . Waking up with the sun , shaking off the frost . Catching an orc for breakfast - ever have orc guts fried over stinkwood ? Oh , that ' s a treat ! Checking each stream for dead giant spiders - or live ones ! Imp jerky for lunch ! Scanning the ridges for dragonling s ! Standing guard against Ice Daedra in a blinding snowstorm ! Oh , what a life ! SHUB and SHUB ( Together ) : No , no . . . we , we better stay here at the Guild . Got our duties after all . . . someones got to mind the store . . . someones got to get the word out to selected customers . . . No , thank you kind Sir , it does sound such a lovely life , but I think we best be here . . . yes , indeed . . . ADVENTURER : A pity , gentlemen . Well , I ' ll be about it then . And don ' t worry if you see me with those priests — got to mislead and misdirect them , haven ' t I ! SHUB : One week , then ! EPILOGUE : Shub and Shub , ladies and gentlemen . Implausibly retarded mages , yes , but perhaps there ' s something more to them than this act suggests . Do you think so , maybe ? Well , if you are not in the theater for Part the Fourth , you won ' t know for certain , will you ? Don ' t forget to tip your wenches and think on that while we change the set . So Endeth Part the Three