Strax Field Report : The Doctors ( webcast ) Straxs Field Report : The Doctor was a webcast released during the build - up to the " The Time of the Doctor " , the 2013 Christmas special of " Doctor Who " . Synopsis . Field Report TCX11 / 13 : Strax discusses all twelve past incarnations of the Doctor . Plot . Strax goes over the incarnations of " the universe ' s chief weakling and coward " . First up , the First Doctor showed great early promise — with a brutality similar to the great Field Marshal Styre — but was soon infected by the " human disease known as compassion " . Strax refers to the Second Doctor as " a buffoon " , saying he was of no military value and preferred to spend his time to playing his musical tote tune than pulse rifle . He mentions that " the Lord and Hero " Stike served him justice . The Doctor ' s third incarnation was a worthy opponent to Commander Linx , and is " highly commended for impressive martial abilities " . He mentions his death at the hands of radiation " that would barely tickle a Sontaran infant clone " . The Fourth Doctor " returned to the level of cowardice we have come to expect " , when he led the Sontarans on a frivolous chase through his TARDIS instead of facing them on the battlefield , " like a Rutan fleeing through an energy trench " . Next up , Strax comments on the Fifth Doctor ' s obsession with " wearing vegetable matter " . Compassion for a fragile human once again led to his demise . He identifies the Sixth Doctor as his personal favourite , being " confrontational , ruthless and aggressive " . Unfortunately , " his delicate Gallifreyan cranium could not withstand a bump against his own ship ' s console . " " Doctor Seven " showed great promise as a strategist , using intense cunning , guile and plotting to outmaneuver his greatest foes . " Though , ultimately , he failed to maneuvre out of the path of a folly of speeding bullets , and expired at the hands of an incompetent boy with little medical expertise . Strax thinks the Eighth Doctor chose to be a female , because of his hair . This incarnation engaged in " the futile pursuit of romantic attachment " and had an obsession with footwear . In the end , he chose to regenerate into a warrior , " fit to fight the greatest war in history " . Next , Strax discusses the incarnation who would not call himself Doctor . He sees this version of the Doctor as a " dark warrior " and that it was fortunate the Sontarans did not encounter him . " My clone batch still quake in their probic powering pods at the very thought of this dark soldier . " " Number Nine " was another with a sense of fire and rage , who started with a strong military focus and a flair for smiting species , but soon gave way to an affection for a yellow - headed Earth boy which squandered his promise . He engaged in yet another " inter - species mouth - to - mouth interface " . A begrudged Strax shouts , " The next incarnation was a " BLIGHT " on the Sontaran race ! " and pauses for a moment to put his anger in check . This Doctor met Strax ' s clone batch in an encounter that Strax finds both insolent and infuriating . He took great satisfaction in seeing his death . Finally , the Eleventh Doctor ' s obsession with fabric helmets and neck adornments made him an easier opponent to dispatch . Yet he proved himself highly capable in evading the most ingenious trap ever created . " But now the spineless pink weasel is backed against the wall . He ' ll never escape the fate that awaits him on Trenzalore . . . " Strax closes his report by paying tribute to the Doctor , solemnly stating : " I shall not forget the many exploits of this man . He was a worthy foe , and a mighty strategist . He was . . . my enemy . He will not be easily replaced . "