A Night in Sickbay ( episode ) Archer spends a night in sickbay with Dr . Phlox after Porthos picks up a deadly virus on an alien planet . Summary . Teaser . Captain Jonathan Archer , Ensign Hoshi Sato , T ' Pol , and Porthos are in the decontamination chamber after a not - so - successful visit to the Kreetassan s home planet . Captain Archer is very frustrated because for the past five days spent in orbit , they have been doing nothing but apologizing to and humiliating themselves in front of the aliens because months ago they ate lunch in front of them on their own ship . T ' Pol points out that the Kreetassans manufacture plasma injector s and that " Enterprise " needs one . But Archer has a hard time containing his frustration because once again , after all the waiting and " groveling " as he calls it , they have been asked to leave , empty - handed , because they somehow offended the Kreetassans again . How , they do not know , again . Archer does not want to hear it anymore , saying that he is exhausted and pretty much had it with these people . After their decontamination cycle is over Doctor Phlox lets them know that they can leave except for Porthos : apparently he picked up a pathogen on the surface and the decon - agent has not been effective . With a heavy heart , Captain Archer leaves Porthos behind in the decon chamber . Act One . In main engineering , Commander explains to the captain the importance of getting those plasma injectors , no matter how uncomfortable the situation is . Archer complains that these people are impossible , but Tucker insists on getting the injectors from them because their components are metallurgically sound and dependable . He tells Archer to take the " high road " as the trained diplomat that he is . Reluctantly , Archer agrees , saying that he will have T ' Pol find out what they did wrong this time so they can apologize for it again accordingly . Meanwhile , Porthos has been relocated to sickbay because the pathogen is affecting him in unexpected ways . Dr . Phlox explains that his immune system is collapsing and that even though he was successful in isolating the pathogen and breaking down its protein sequence , he still cannot explain it , as it should not be affecting Porthos like this . Dr . Phlox is , therefore , running more tests to see what is happening . Archer is worried that this might be a life - threatening situation , but Dr . Phlox says that it is still too early to tell . Archer wonders why the Kreetassans did not notice that there is a pathogen in their atmosphere that Porthos ' immune system cannot handle , given that " Enterprise " had submitted the genome s of the away team to them to check against the environment of their planet . Dr . Phlox says that they should have noticed any incompatibilities , assuming they actually took the time to check . This angers Archer who points out that if the carelessness of the Kreetassans has hurt Porthos or ends up killing him , they will find out what being offended is all about . After he leaves sickbay , he speaks with T ' Pol and learns that the Kreetassans are offended because Porthos urinated on one of their sacred tree s , which they consider cultural treasures . But Archer has no sympathy for them , exclaiming that maybe if they had bothered to read the genetic profile that was sent to them , they would have told them that the dog should have stayed on the ship , in which case he would not have had an opportunity to pee on one of their precious trees . T ' Pol explains that she apologized on behalf of Archer , but Archer doesn ' t like that at all , saying that they are the ones who should be sorry and apologizing , not him . He says that if anything happens to Porthos , he will be the one watering their Alvera tree s . Later , Archer – unable to sleep and worried about Porthos – asks Phlox whether he could spend the night in sickbay in order to cheer up Porthos . Dr . Phlox says that Porthos is in no condition to know the difference either way , but Archer insists on being there nonetheless . He begins chatting with the doctor and asks him whether there are any dogs on his homeworld of Denobula . Phlox explains that the Denobulan lemur , which is highly sought after , is similar to a dog , with a tail , fur , and mostly one head . He also reassures the captain that he need not worry because he is qualified enough , holding six degrees in interspecies veterinary medicine , in addition to half a dozen other degrees in various other fields such as hematology and botanical pharmacology . Moreover , he has been able to eliminate the pathogen and now wants to see whether the treatment that he has devised will stabilize Porthos ' autoimmune system . He tells him to go get some rest , but Archer is still concerned and unsure how to feel . What ' s more , continuously throughout the night he is disturbed by the doctor ' s various odd activities in sickbay , such as feeding the animals , chasing them when they escape their cage , clipping his toenails , and engaging in other strange grooming behavior . Realizing that he won ' t get much sleep like that , Archer decides to go and work out . Act Two . In the gym , he runs into T ' Pol who tells him that he should not have brought his dog on a diplomatic mission , especially after they had offended the Kreetassans previously . She goes on to say that once again he was ignoring the consequences of his actions , because apparently he places more importance on the quality of the air his pet breathes than on the quality of the plasma running his ship . She is questioning his priorities . Archer takes issue with this and while they are arguing , Hoshi Sato tells them that the Kreetassans have finally submitted their reconciliation demands and that the captain is not going to believe it . Archer glances somewhat dismissively at their undoubtedly ridiculous demands , and returns back to sickbay to get some sleep before the doctor ' s results are back . At around 01 : 32 am , he is awoken by the alarm in sickbay . Porthos has gone into anaphylactic shock because his body is rejecting the treatment . Dr . Phlox is able to temporarily stabilize him until he devises a different one . Archer is frustrated once again , complaining to Phlox that the Kreetassans won ' t give them the plasma injectors until he makes a fool out of himself by going through a series of ritual apologies . He also expresses his frustration with T ' Pol who accused him of caring more about the dog than his ship . Doctor Phlox wonders why T ' Pol ' s opinion concerns him so much and not Commander Tucker ' s , for instance , who is a friend he has known for years . But Archer sort of ignores his question and goes on and on about the Kreetassans and their unreasonable demands and audacity to expect an apology in the first place . However , Phlox does not give in , asking if Archer ever considered that his anger might encompass more than just Porthos and the Kreetassans . He even goes so far as to ask him how long it has been since he was intimate with a woman . This really catches Archer ' s attention , as he is becoming increasingly frustrated with Phlox and his prying . He ends the conversation and tries to get more sleep . Meanwhile , Sato answers another hail by the Kreetassans , requesting a response but despite the mid - night time on the ship . The Kreetassan also suggests that synchronizing the ship ' s time to the planet would have been common courtesy . Sato politely says she ' ll inform the captain . Soon , he is awoken again to Phlox trying to catch his escaped bat . It ' s a much busier sickbay than he thought . Act Three . Archer helps Phlox catch his bat for a bit and , during , Phlox continues the conversation , asking him if he thought anymore about why T ' Pol ' s opinion is so important to him . He points out sexual tension , stating that for the past few months he has noted increasing friction between him and T ' Pol . He goes on to say that if a person believes that their own sexual attraction toward another is inappropriate , they will often exhibit unexpected behavior , such as inordinate anger towards comparisons made between their ship and their Beagle . But Archer insists that there exists no sexual attraction between them , and that he and T ' Pol have been getting along just fine . Just then , Sato walks in to inform the captain of the Kreetassans ' wait and suggestion , after having easily grabbing the bat out of the air . At 02 : 49 am Archer wakes up again after having had strange dreams involving Porthos , T ' Pol , and the decon chamber . Phlox informs him that the second treatment is not doing well either . Archer looks at Porthos , who is lying unconscious , and tells Phlox about how he got him from among a litter of four male puppies – " The Four Musketeers " – and has had him since he was six weeks old . He asks if Phlox had any pets when he was a kid , but Phlox says that his people don ' t keep any pets . The Denobulan lemur he was talking about earlier is highly sought after because its kidney s are considered a delicacy . Somewhat appalled and shocked , Archer doesn ' t know what to say . When T ' Pol later arrives with food , he keeps stumbling over his words ( accidentally saying " breast " and " lips " while conversing with T ' Pol ) and is nervous . Doctor Phlox ' s finds his treatment is effective but only partially : Porthos ' immune system is stabilizing , but his pituitary gland was severely damaged and is almost completely disintegrated . Dr . Phlox wants to transplant the pituitary gland of a Calrissian chameleon into Porthos . In order to do that , however , he needs to submerge him to minimize the shock to his pulmonary system . Once the surgery is complete Dr . Phlox will not have any problem resuscitating him . Phlox also tells Archer that after receiving the transplanted chameleon gland , Porthos may be harder to find , blending into the background when frightened , but this turns out to be an attempt at humor . Archer is apprehensive about letting the doctor perform a procedure he has never done before , especially given his peoples ' attitude and insensitivity towards pets . But Phlox states that this is the only alternative available to them . Phlox pauses , understands his point of view and leaves the decision to him . Act Four . Seeing that there is no choice , Archer agrees to go on with the procedure suggested by Phlox . While operating on Porthos at nearly four am , Archer finally opens up regarding his anger towards T ' Pol , which , as he admits , could have a component of sexual tension to it . He wonders what he should do about it . Dr . Phlox suggests to do nothing but simply be aware of it . Archer asks him whether his expertise on sexual tension comes solely from professional training or first hand experience . Phlox explains that he has three wives , who each have two other husbands besides himself – a total of 720 relationships , 42 of which have romantic possibilities . He says that there are 31 people in his extended family and that he has five children : two daughters and three sons . Archer apologizes to him for having accused him of being insensitive before and Dr . Phlox accepts . The night is over and Archer eventually decides to swallow his pride and proceed with the apology , which is long and ritualistic as expected . In the end , everything turns out all right ; the Kreetassans are visibly pleased , his apology is accepted , and they finally give them their injector , as well as two spares . Archer also apologizes to T ' Pol about his recent behavior and goes to pick up Porthos , who is recovering nicely from his operation and can finally go home . Memorable quotes . " " T ' Pol thinks we insulted them " again . " " " How ? You didn ' t eat cabbage before you left . . . " " " " I was a " perfect " gentleman ! " " " " Well , you ' re a trained diplomat . Take the high road . There ' s gotta be some way you can kiss and make up . " " " " I ' m told I ' ve offended these people twice . Once for eating in front of them . The second time , I don ' t even know what for . But if their carelessness has hurt Porthos or God forbid ends up killing him , they ' re going to find out what being offended is all about ! " " " " You hear that , boy ? Hmm ? We ' re all pulling for you . " " " " There are some things more important than plasma injectors . " " " " Are you referring to your pride ? " " " " I ' ll tell you one thing , sub - commander : if anything happens to Porthos , I ' ll be the one watering their Alvera trees ! " " " " Captain , please . You needn ' t be concerned . I hold six degrees in interspecies veterinary medicine . " " " " I thought you were just , you know , a people doctor ? " " " " As a matter of fact , I ' ve also earned degrees in dentistry , hematology , botanical pharmacology . . . " " " " I ' m impressed . " " " " This isn ' t so bad . I was sure there would be something in here about standing on one foot with my eyes shut reciting ' The Night Before Christmas ' . " " " " Do we have a chainsaw on board ? " " " " I really thought you were beginning to understand Human emotions . " " " " Not when they apply to primitive quadrupeds who haven ' t evolved the ability to speak , or to use a toilet . " " " " Sorry , I ' m a little on edge . I haven ' t slept very much , but I ' m doing the breast I . . . the " best " , I can . " " " " Hmmm . . . " " " " Send me your lips . . . " lisp " . . . " LIST " ! " " " " Why haven ' t you adjusted your time to our capital city ? " " " " I ' m sorry , we didn ' t know it was a requirement . " " " " It isn ' t a requirement , it is simply a courtesy . Something your species has yet to understand ! " " " " What ' s the tank for ? " " " " I ' ll need to super - hydrate the canine in order to minimize the shock to his pulmonary system . " " " " You ' re going to drown my dog ? " " " " Tell me doctor , does your knowledge on sexual tension result from training or personal experience ? " " " " Well , I do have three wives . " " Deleted scenes . Scenes 24 - 25 . Archer wakes up in sickbay and calls Commander Tucker – sleeping in his quarters – to come see him . Tucker crawls out of bed and , upon entering sickbay , remarks that the captain looks terrible , asking what happened . Archer says he ' s fine and that it ' s Porthos who ' s not doing so well . Tucker says he ' s sorry to hear it , asking if there is something that he can do . Archer asks Tucker how long it has been since he ' s been intimate with a woman . Tucker is baffled by the question . Dr . Phlox makes a noise to remind them that he is there . Archer apologizes for waking Tucker , and asks about the faulty injector : What kind of stress will put on the other four if they take it off - line and try to repair it ? Tucker says that it is a matter of time ; the longer that they have to rely on four injectors , the greater the stress , the problem being that he has no idea how long the repair would take . If the stress gets too high , they ' ll end up with only three injectors , at which point " Enterprise " would be lucky to reach warp speed . Archer tells Tucker to get some sleep . Before leaving , Tucker tells Archer a childhood anecdote : " " I had a grade school teacher who was certain I stole a pencil off her desk . I think it was a pencil . She wasn ' t going to let me go on the field trip to Pensacola unless I apologized . My mother told me I should tell her I was sorry , but I said ' I didn ' t steal the damn pencil . ' You know what she told me ? ' It ' s okay to apologize when you shouldn ' t have to , just as long as you don ' t mean it . " ' " Scenes 39 - 49 . Archer enters the bridge at 4 : 26 am , remarking to T ' Pol that he thought her shift didn ' t begin until 9 : 00 am . She replies that she took the liberty of temporarily synchronizing their clocks to the Kreetassans ' capital city . Archer asks Ensign Sato to join him in his ready room . Inside the ready room , Archer ask Sato to sit down , and asks if she ' s read " the list " , referring to the Kreetassans ' reconciliation demands . Sato says yes , that she and T ' Pol " broke it down " . Archer interrupts Sato , stating that he requires her assistance on pronouncing a phrase near the end of the document . Links and references . References . alvera tree ; anaphylactic shock ; Aramis ; Athos ; autosuture ; beagle ; botanical pharmacology ; buzz - saw ; cabbage ; Calrissian chameleon ; chainsaw ; chordata ; couplet ; ; decompression chamber ; Denobulan ; Denobulan language ; Denobulan lemur ; dentistry ; diet ; dog ; ; funeral ; Goldie ; grade school ; guinea pig ; hematology ; Interspecies Veterinary Medicine ; Kreetassa ; Kreetassan ; Kreetassan capital city ; Kreetassan Chancellery ; litter ; logic ; mammalian ; metallurgy ; nest ; " " ; part ; pencil ; Phlox ' children ; Phlox ' spouses ; Pillarian slip ; pituitary gland ; plasma injector ; Porthos ; Porthos ' mother ; potter ; prophecy ; pulmonary system ; Pyrithian bat ; Pyrithian moon hawk ; quarantine chamber ; rejection ; ritual sectioning ; sub - mammalian database ; synaptic inductor ; ; teacher ; theft ; treadmill ; urination