Our Man Bashir ( episode ) A transporter accident replaces the characters in Bashir ' s secret agent holosuite program with the physical forms of the station ' s senior staff . Summary . Teaser . A glass screen shatters as a man with a patch over one eye is hurled backwards through it . On the other side of the screen , Doctor Bashir stands casually , dressed in a tuxedo , and walks back toward his female companion , Caprice . She smiles as she hands him a bottle of champagne , but she has a troubled look on her face . Bashir looks at the bottle and sees the reflection of the other man , who is attempting to sneak up on him . With nothing else to use for a weapon , Bashir turns around quickly and uncorks the bottle , using the cork as a projectile to render the other man unconscious . He turns to Caprice and the two embrace , but they are interrupted by clapping from elsewhere in the room . It is Elim Garak , who has broken into the holosuite because he is curious to know what Bashir is doing . Garak notes that Bashir has been visiting the holosuite repeatedly ever since he received his new holo - program and yet the doctor has not told anyone what the program is . Despite Bashir ' s protests , Garak uses his usual charm and tactfulness to convince the doctor to allow him to stay and observe . However , he notes that Bashir ' s companion has just left . The doctor is obviously not amused , but Garak assures him they will have a wonderful time together . Garak then tells Bashir " " After all , what could possibly go wrong ? " " Act One . As Garak and Bashir enter the doctor ' s fictional apartment in Hong Kong , Garak takes in the decor of 1964 Earth before they are joined by Bashir ' s valet , Mona Luvsitt . She reveals that behind one of Bashir ' s walls is an assortment of firearms ; between this and the lavish surroundings , Garak surmises that Bashir is playing some kind of rich playboy . On the contrary , Bashir says , he is a spy : a top - class secret agent whose clothing , equipment , lodgings , and adoring female companions are all provided to him by a grateful government . Garak remarks wryly that he ( who really " has " been a spy ) must have joined the wrong intelligence service . Meanwhile , Sisko , Kira , Worf , Dax , and Miles O ' Brien return from a conference only to discover their runabout has been sabotage d . The is about to explode , so Eddington beams them out . Unfortunately , the explosion comes during the transport , and as the crew materialize a bright flash forces station crew to avert their eyes . Only smoke remains , and Eddington is stunned . Act Two . Eddington rushes down to evaluate the next move , and Odo arrives to understand what ' s going on . The primary energizing coil s were overloaded , but the crew members ' patterns are still stuck in the transporter buffer . Given the immense amount of space required to store neural information and the fact that the buffer will soon lose coherence and the signatures with it , Eddington orders the computer to wipe all memory necessary in order to save the patterns ; consequently , all power on the station goes out while the crew members are somewhere on the station , but he and Odo have no idea where they are . At the same time , in the holosuite ( which is still active despite the power loss ) , Mona dresses Garak in appropriate attire for the 1960s . But shortly thereafter , the bar in Bashir ' s apartment turns itself 180 degrees to reveal a bed with a scantily - clad Major Kira on it . Bashir thinks Kira and Garak have conspired to ridicule him , but Garak is just as surprised as he is . Speaking with a thick Russian accent , Kira identifies herself as Colonel Anastasia Komananov , and soon Bashir and Garak realize the image of Komananov , a character from Bashir ' s holonovel , has been replaced with one of Kira . However , the computer claims the parameters for the character are normal and refuses to pause the program . Bashir contacts Ops to find out what has happened , but as Eddington explains about the transporter accident , Odo recognizes Kira ' s voice and realizes the images of the missing crew members must have been stored in the holosuite ' s memory . Odo and Eddington warn him not to stop the holo - program or call up the exit , as it might result in the loss of the images – and thus the crew . Komananov explains the mission she and Bashir are supposed to be working on ; a number of unusual earthquake s have occurred of late , and the government has concluded that the quakes are artificial . When Garak begins to explain that it is not difficult to manufacture such a quake , Bashir silences him , given the period they are supposed to be in . The assignment is to find out who is causing the quakes , and the only clue is the recent kidnapping of someone named Professor Honey Bare . When Komananov shows Bashir a picture of the professor , it is in fact Dax . Bashir communicates to Garak that they need to ensure that Honey Bare stays alive as if she dies , the computer will remove her from the program and unintentionally erase Dax ' s pattern . Komananov is about to explain further when the door opens to reveal Mona , who collapses with a knife in her back . She is followed by O ' Brien – who is now Falcon , the man with the patch whom Bashir knocked out previously – and two other armed men . Act Three . Komananov asks Falcon for one last kiss with Bashir , and Falcon accepts . As they kiss , she tells Bashir to remove her earring ; it ' s a bomb . He does so , and the bomb knocks out Falcon . Garak , Bashir and Komananov proceed to knock out Falcon ' s henchmen . Komananov nearly kills O ' Brien , but Bashir stops her . This makes Komananov question his motives , as Falcon has been trying to kill Bashir for nine years . Bashir notices that Garak ' s mouth is bleeding after the fight , and they realize that the safety mechanisms on the holosuite have been disabled , and that in addition to keeping the five crewmembers ' patterns alive in the story , Garak and Bashir must take care to protect their own lives as well . Komananov then proceeds with the mission . She reveals that Hippocrates Noah has been kidnapping the world ' s best minds for the past six months , and that he had met each one at a club in Paris . Komananov , Bashir and Garak set out to visit the club . Meanwhile , Odo and Eddington go to the holosuite with Quark and Rom to determine the nature of the crew ' s integration . Rom has made significant modifications , but Eddington is able to confirm the crew ' s physical patterns . However , their neural energy cannot be stored there . Quark supposes multiple other systems on the station have been used to do that , as it requires an immense amount of energy . In the Club , the trio first find Duchamps , who has a striking similarity to Worf . Bashir claims that he is one of the world ' s leading geologists , and inquires about Dr . Noah and the scientists . Duchamps says that he can arrange a meeting , but only for 5 , 000 , 000 franc s . Bashir requests a game of cards to win the money from him . Meanwhile , Odo , in Ops reveals that a Cardassian separatist group is responsible for the destruction of the " Orinoco " . Eddington announces that the neural patterns of all five officers were stored in the rest of the computer memory . They decide to use the " Defiant " to reassemble the neural and physical patterns of the five victims , though Rom says he needs to modify the system to interface with the ship . Meanwhile , Bashir has won the money in a game of baccarat , and asks to meet with Dr . Noah . Duchamps knocks the trio out with a puff of toxic cigar smoke . When they awaken , a man is ready for them . He introduces himself as Hippocrates Noah , but looks exactly like Benjamin Sisko . Act Four . Bashir then notices that the room they are in is atop Mt . Everest . Dr . Noah decides to test Bashir ' s geological knowledge by showing him one of his artifacts . When Bashir identifies the various s , Noah then announces his plan , while also revealing a hidden control panel and Professor Bare , with Dax ' s appearance . He reveals he has placed massive underground lasers in strategic positions , and that he plans to activate them all at once , shrinking the earth , killing all of its inhabitants , and forcing the oceans to cover the entire globe , except the highest point on earth , his complex on Mt . Everest . He then announces that Bashir won ' t be joining him , and calls for Falcon , who has just been employed by him . On the " Defiant " , Rom has successfully managed to complete the modifications to allow the holosuite to interface with the " Defiant " transporters , but it will take another hour . Falcon straps Bashir and Garak to one of the giant lasers , but says that Komananov will be used as breeding stock for the second Human race . Dr . Noah activates the countdown sequence and leaves . Act Five . Once he is gone , Garak almost ends the program , but Bashir stops him . Finally , Honey Bare shows up , and Bashir charms her into coming close enough to steal the key to their restraints , freeing himself and Garak . Bashir says they have to get back to the control room : according to the program ' s storyline , one of the two female leads – Anastasia / Kira or Honey / Jadzia – is supposed to end up with the hero , while the other one dies . They have to prevent that from happening to either of them . Garak objects , saying that the odds are against them and it is time to quit . Bashir is appalled , and a heated argument ensues : Garak says that if Bashir was a " real " spy , and not an overgrown child play - acting at one , he ' d understand that there are times when it ' s better to save oneself than risk one ' s life against impossible odds . Garak starts to address the computer , but Bashir aims his backup gun at him , reminding him that if he calls for the exit , he may stop the program and kill Sisko and the others . Garak tells Bashir to face reality : he is not a hero , he only likes to pretend to be one , which is why he doesn ' t have the guts to pull the trigger . Garak starts to call for the exit again – and Bashir pulls the trigger . Garak goes down with a flesh wound in his neck . Taken aback , he says that Bashir came awfully close to killing him . Bashir coolly asks him , " " what makes you think I wasn ' t trying ? " " Impressed , Garak voices no further objections as Bashir leads him back to the control room . Bashir and Garak hold Noah and his henchmen at gunpoint , until Duchamps arrives and disarms them . However , Julian receives a com signal from Eddington : he is going to try rematerializing the patterns in about two minutes . After hearing the signal , Noah decides to kill Bashir . However , Bashir pretends to surrender , believing that Noah has the right idea after all . Noah does not believe a word of it , but Bashir gives a lengthy speech , imitating the conversation that he and Garak had earlier . Noah is still not convinced , so Bashir then does the unthinkable – he activates Noah ' s machine , destroying all life on the ( holographic ) Earth . Noah is stunned and unsure what to do next – the program obviously didn ' t have a script that allowed his plan to actually " succeed " . Deciding , just to relieve his uncertainty , that he will kill Bashir anyway , he starts to aim his gun . . . when Rom activates the transporter and rematerializes Sisko , Kira , O ' Brien , Worf and Dax . O ' Brien is appalled at Rom ' s modifications to the " Defiant " , not knowing that they saved his life . Back in the holosuite , Garak congratulates Bashir on his ingenious " solution " – saving the day by destroying the world . The Cardassian has gained a new respect for his Human friend , and proposes that they meet again inside the program for their next lunch meeting . Memorable quotes . " " A lot of kick for a ' 45 " Dom " . " " " " Thank you , Mr . . . Mr . . . " " " " Bashir . Julian Bashir . " " " " If I were in your shoes , I ' d grab a bottle of champagne and shoot me ! " " " " We ' re going to have a wonderful time , Doctor ; after all , " what could possibly go wrong " ? " " " I work for one of the nation - states of this era , Great Britain , which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War . This apartment , my clothes , weapons , even my valet were provided to me by my government . " " " " I think I joined the wrong intelligence service . " " " " Where ' s the core memory interface ? " " " " Oh . It ' s right behind the spatula . " " " " The spatula ? " " " " It ' s made of a copper - ytterbium composite . . . the perfect plasma conductor ! " " " " We are building a new future here , a new beginning for mankind . A new chapter in Human history will open . . . right here , on my island . " " " " Island ? " " " " Forgive me . Sometimes I do get ahead of myself . Allow me to explain . " " " " Kiss the girl , get the key . They never taught me that in the Obsidian Order . " " " " I am afraid I don ' t believe you ' ll pull that trigger . " " " " I wouldn ' t be so sure about that . " " " " It ' s time to face reality , Doctor . You ' re a man who dreams of being a hero because you know , deep down , that you ' re not . I ' m no hero either , but I do know how to make a choice , and I ' m choosing to save myself . " " " " You ' ll be fine . It ' s just a flesh wound . " " " " That was awfully close . What if you ' d killed me ? " " " " What makes you think I wasn ' t trying ? " " " " Doctor , I do believe there ' s hope for you yet . " " " " It ' s working just as you planned ! You ' ve done it , doctor . " " " " Yes . But somehow , I didn ' t expect to win . " " " " Interesting , you saved the day by destroying the world . " " " " I bet they didn ' t teach you that in the Obsidian Order . " " " " There comes a time when a house has been so damaged by termites that you must not only kill the termites , but demolish the house and build again ! " " Links and references . References . anarchy ; baccarat ; balloon ; biology ; bomb ; brandy ; Cardassia ; Cardassian ; champagne ; chemistry ; Christmas ; cigar ; clipboard ; Club Ingenue ; colonel ; command control system ; computer ; computer memory ; copper ; copper - ytterbium composite ; core memory interface ; decorator ; ; deflector ; dilettante ; dirigible ; Dom Pérignon ; earring ; Earth ; Earth Cold War ; eyepatch ; Federation ; franc ; geologist ; geology ; glasses ; Great Britain ; handcuffs ; helicopter ; High Standard HDM ; holo - imaging array ; holosuite ; holosuite memory core ; Hong Kong ; Iceland ; impulse engine ; jetsetter ; " Julian Bashir , Secret Agent " ; KGB ; kiss ; Kowloon ; lab coat ; laser ; magnetic interlock ; mantle ; martini ; Mauser C96 ; ; money ; Mount Everest ; Nambu pistol ; neural energy ; New York City ; Obsidian Order ; ; parachute ; Paris ; pattern buffer ; physics ; plasma ; plasma coil ; primary energizing coil ; quantum level ; replicator ; ; runabout ; Russian ; sapphire ; secret agent ; seismology ; shoe gun ; South America ; spatula ; Starfleet ; Starfleet Command ; submarine ; suspenders ; termite ; Tibetan plateau ; topaz ; tourist ; tourmaline ; transporter ; transporter beam ; tricorder ; True Way ; Vladivostok ; Walther P38 ; Walther PP ; warp core ; warp core breach ; ytterbium