Flashback ( episode ) When Tuvok begins to suffer from a mental breakdown , triggered by a suppressed memory , a mind - meld with Janeway takes him back to his tour of duty with Captain Sulu aboard the USS " Excelsior " . Summary . Teaser . In the ' s mess hall , Neelix is trying to tempt a reluctant Lieutenant Tuvok into sampling a new juice blend that Neelix has concocted . Eventually , Tuvok gingerly samples the beverage and , to Neelix ' s delight , he finds the drink to be " impressive . " After heading into the kitchen with the intention of serving seasoned Porakan egg s for Tuvok ' s breakfast , Neelix begins explaining the method of the food preparation , a Talaxian mealtime tradition , but the Vulcan is unwilling to hear about the effort put into preparing the egg s , and an unexpected fire suddenly ruins them . Neelix quickly extinguishes the blaze , which Tuvok suggests may have been caused by a thermal surge due to Engineering making adjustments to the plasma conduit s , in order to accommodate a new energy source . An audio call from Captain Janeway summons the pair to the bridge . Neelix and the bridge officer s lengthily and with some enthusiasm discuss how they will store and use the sirillium after they have gathered it . Once the ship arrives at its temporary destination , the anomaly ( which Kim describes as a class 17 nebula ) is displayed on the viewscreen but , as the crew discuss the anomaly , Tuvok seems disoriented and his hand quivers . Even though an unaware Janeway issues him an order related to the nebula , Tuvok does not respond . The bridge officers subsequently notice his behavior . He confusedly admits that he is feeling dizzy and disoriented , and his request to report to sickbay is granted . En route , Tuvok experiences a flashback of himself as a child ; the boy holds the hand of a terrified girl hanging from a cliff but he is unable to hold on to her , so she plummets to her death . In a state of extreme distress , Tuvok stumbles into " Voyager " s sickbay , where Kes is on duty , and collapses on the floor . Act One . Tuvok , now conscious , relates his vision of the girl hanging from the cliff . Though the episode seemed real , he does not recall it having actually happened . The Doctor offers several possible explanations , including a hallucination or repressed memory of some sort . The Doctor releases Tuvok , but first gives him a neurocortical monitor to record his brain patterns and to alert sickbay in case the symptoms recur . Tuvok approves of this " wise precaution " . In engineering , Ensign Harry Kim explains that his sensor sweeps haven ' t turned up anything that would affect Tuvok or " Voyager " . Tuvok suggests to Lt . jg B ' Elanna Torres that , due to being close to Klingon space , " Voyager " conduct a tachyon sweep of the nebula to reveal any cloaked ships that could be responsible for the symptoms . But , of course , " Voyager " is in the Delta Quadrant , nowhere near Klingon space , so his remark puzzles Janeway and the other officers present . As he stares at the sensor display of the nebula , Tuvok experiences another flashback , and once again the little girl slips from his youthful grasp and falls to her death from the cliff . In sickbay , The Doctor suggests that a mind meld between the patient and a family member to bring Tuvok ' s repressed memory to the conscious mind may fix the problem . Being the closest thing Tuvok has to family on " Voyager " , Captain Janeway agrees to a mind meld with Tuvok . However , instead of accessing the memory of the girl and the cliff , Janeway and Tuvok find themselves on the eighty years in the past . The " Excelsior " is engaged in battle with a Klingon vessel . Captain Hikaru Sulu suddenly steps out of the dense smoke . Act Two . As Sulu barks orders to his crew and Commander Janice Rand reads a damage report , Janeway and Tuvok ( who is crouched over the body of Lieutenant Dimitri Valtane ) are confused why they ' re suddenly on the " Excelsior " rather than the precipice with the little girl . Tuvok reports that the ship is in a battle with the Klingons , and that the battle was precipitated by an incident that occurred three days earlier . . . Going back in time to the common quarters he shares with Valtane and two other officers on Deck 7 , now Ensign Tuvok finishes preparing a blend of Vulcan tea for Captain Sulu , of whom he ' s noticed that he likes to have a cup of tea in the morning . The others are getting ready to go on duty as part of the gamma shift . Having entered and asked about the tea , Commander Rand jokingly accuses him of trying to get a quick promotion , which Tuvok denies . She then gives him a message from his father serving on the " Yorktown " and leaves to report to the bridge . After she ' s gone , Janeway remarks to Tuvok " " You ' ve never brought " me " tea . " " Later , Tuvok serves the tea to Captain Sulu , who declares it to be outstanding and also jokes about Tuvok trying to get a promotion . When Tuvok denies this , Sulu tells his junior officer that he ' s got to learn how to appreciate a joke , and says he knows that Vulcans do have a sense of humor . As she follows Tuvok across the bridge to his post , Janeway remarks that Sulu doesn ' t look anything like his portrait at Starfleet Headquarters ; Tuvok explains that 23rd century holographic imager s had a less accurate resolution than the technology that would be developed in the 24th century . Janeway notices that Tuvok ' s post is a science station . Tuvok confirms that he served on the ship as one of several junior science officers , causing Janeway to ask why his service record doesn ' t mention his service on the " Excelsior " . Tuvok isn ' t keen to talk about it , but confirms this was his first deep - space assignment after graduating Starfleet Academy at the age of 29 . Janeway asks if they ' re about to battle the Klingons , but Tuvok tells her that the Klingon moon Praxis ( which had served as a major source of energy for the Klingon home world ) is about to explode . Janeway remembers that the destruction of Praxis had a lasting effect on the Alpha Quadrant , including leading to the first - ever Federation - Klingon Peace Treaty . Just then , the ship starts to shake as the subspace shock wave from Praxis approaches the ship . Captain Sulu orders shields up , but " Excelsior " still shudders through the wave , sending the crew flying . Helmsman Lieutenant Commander Lojur tries to maneuver the ship , but the helm won ' t respond ; Sulu orders him to use the starboard thrusters to turn the ship into the wave . Once it passes , Sulu starts to investigate while Tuvok tells Janeway that they were warned off by the Klingons and continued their survey mission . However two days later , two Starfleet officers were arrested for the assassination of the Klingon Chancellor . Captain Sulu felt an intense loyalty to both officers having served with them for many years . The two then go forward to the point where Captain Sulu ( against orders ) begins to plan a rescue of James Kirk and Leonard McCoy . As currently illustrated in his memory , Tuvok tells Janeway that while the rest of the crew were happy to follow the captain in his defiance of Starfleet ' s orders , he wasn ' t . He then argues with Sulu that as Starfleet officers , they are under obligation to follow any and all orders . Sulu finds Tuvok ' s declaration to be rather bold for someone who has had an entire two months of space duty . Rand , having served with Sulu , Kirk , and McCoy on as a yeoman , chides Tuvok for questioning the captain ' s decision and attempts to relieve him of duty while apologizing to the captain , but Sulu motions to her that it ' s okay . Sulu tells Tuvok that while he ' s technically right , he also couldn ' t be more wrong . He explains that when you serve with people for long enough , a strong bond and a sense of family can form . Having served with Kirk and McCoy for so many years and owing his life to them a dozen times over , regardless of Starfleet ' s orders he ' s going to help his friends , " " let the regulations be damned . " " Tuvok believes this to be a most illogical line of reasoning ; Sulu tells Tuvok he " " better believe it , " " and orders " Excelsior " to warp speed . Janeway tells Tuvok that he did the right thing , but Tuvok now feels that he may have been wrong to question Captain Sulu ' s orders . Sulu decides to take " Excelsior " through the Azure Nebula to conceal their entry into Klingon space . When it appears on the viewscreen , Janeway notices that it appears almost identical to the nebula encountered on " Voyager " . Suddenly Tuvok starts to have a panic attack as the memory resurfaces , this time with Janeway seeing the incident with the girl on the cliff , and the meld is broken as The Doctor scrambles to help him . Act Three . Tuvok lies unconscious in sickbay . The Doctor warns him that if the repressed memory keeps resurfacing , he could experience brain death from synaptic pathway degradation . As Tuvok needs to be left to rest , Janeway decides to conduct her own research . Later , Ensign Kim brings Janeway a comparison between the Azure Nebula and the one " Voyager " has just encountered in her ready room . Although both contain sirillium and are visually similar , the two are actually quite different ; the Azure Nebula is a class 11 nebula with the one " Voyager " has encountered is a class 17 . Having talked with The Doctor , Kim suggests that Tuvok ' s memories of the Excelsior were just triggered by how similar the two nebulas look , but this still brings up the question of where the memory of the little girl fits in , as it is so far removed from Tuvok ' s service with Captain Sulu . Janeway had decided to check Sulu ' s log s for some clues about the nebula however has come up with nothing , as Sulu omitted the trip through the nebula in his logs , except for a brief , cryptic remark about the " Excelsior " suffering damage from a gaseous anomaly and requiring repairs . Kim is surprised to hear about this clear breach of protocol , but Janeway reminds him of the differences between starships from Sulu ' s era and their own , and most importantly , how it was a different breed of Starfleet officers who served on them . The technology wasn ' t as advanced , the Federation constantly on the verge of war with the Klingons , the Romulan s ' covert activities , and their ships were only half as fast . Despite all this , and noting that the officers of the time would have been very quickly booted out of the Starfleet of the present , Janeway expresses a desire to have served even once with officers like Kirk and Sulu . The Doctor revives Tuvok , who completes the story of the interrupted mind meld . The " Excelsior " was ambushed by Klingons and forced to abort the rescue mission , but this still has no connection to the repressed memory . Tuvok attempts another mind meld with Janeway , but once again they find themselves on the " Excelsior " over Valtane ' s body . Now convinced that this isn ' t a coincidence but something that happened on the " Excelsior " is causing Tuvok ' s illness , Janeway and Tuvok go back to when the ship was in the nebula . Having estimated that their path through the nebula would take five hours , Sulu decided that gamma shift needed to get some rest . However back in their crew quarters , Lieutenant Valtane , Tuvok ' s bunkmate , wants to talk about the situation . While Valtane admires Sulu , Tuvok doesn ' t and makes no secret of the fact that he dislikes Humans and their flippancy with emotions . The Vulcan explains that he only joined Starfleet under pressure from his parents , and that he planned to resign his Starfleet commission once the ship ' s survey mission is over . As Valtane goes to sleep , Janeway asks Tuvok if he really meant what he said . Tuvok says that he did at this point in his life , admitting that his opinions on Humans and Starfleet were biased due to the fact he hadn ' t voluntarily chosen to join the service . After resigning , he returned to and started to study " kolinahr " to purge his emotions . However , six years into his studies he underwent " pon farr " and took as a mate and began raising children , whereupon he understood his parents ' decision to send him to Starfleet Academy , and that there was actually a lot he could learn if he allowed himself to do so . Tuvok therefore rejoined Starfleet in order to expand his knowledge of the galaxy , and to learn from Humans and other species . Suddenly , the ship trembles and Sulu calls for a red alert . As he and the other officers quickly get up to return to their stations , Tuvok explains to Janeway that a Klingon ship had decloaked in the nebula and began firing concussive charge s across their bow . Act Four . On the bridge of the " Excelsior " , Sulu finds the captain of the battle cruiser is none other than Kang , who congratulates Sulu for his well - deserved captaincy , and in a thinly - veiled threat advises Sulu to " not let it end prematurely " . Sulu , of course , lies about his rescue mission , claiming they got lost inside the nebula due to a navigational system malfunction . Kang insists on escorting the " Excelsior " back to Federation space , so Sulu plays along while looking for a way to lose him . With Kang ' s forward disruptor s trained on them , Sulu asks Tuvok about the nebula ' s composition . On the mention of sirillium gas , Tuvok confirms that it ' s highly combustible and when asked on how they can ignite it , suggests modulating a positron beam to a subspace frequency , which would cause a thermochemical reaction . " " Like tossing a match in to a pool of gasoline , " " enthuses Sulu , but not wanting to destroy them , asks if Kang ' s shields would withstand the blast . Tuvok says they would , but their sensors and weapon systems would be disrupted for several seconds . This is enough for Sulu , who has his solution . He instructs Tuvok to prepare the beam and when they exit the nebula first , to fire on Sulu ' s command . As they clear the nebula , the " match " is ignited , disabling Kang ' s ship with the resulting explosion , and the " Excelsior " quickly resumes its course at maximum warp to Qo ' noS . However , three Klingon battle cruisers intercept the " Excelsior " and begin firing torpedo es at it . Tuvok gets an alert and warns Valtane that his console is about to explode due to a plasma conduit rupture behind it , but Valtane tarries and doesn ' t leave his station in time ; he takes the full force of the blast . Calling in the medical emergency to sickbay , Tuvok kneels next to Voltane , who calls Tuvok ' s name with his dying breath . Suddenly , the " memory " of the girl on the cliff resurfaces . In " Voyager " s sickbay , Tuvok ' s memory engrams are destabilizing and The Doctor attempts to terminate the mind meld , but is unable to . Tuvok ' s brain damage is accelerating and he will be brain - dead within twenty minutes if the mind meld continues . Janeway tells Tuvok that the death of Valtane is connected to the repressed memory , however Tuvok winces as he realizes that something has gone wrong with the mind meld . Sulu is looking around , but when he turns in their direction , he can actually see Janeway on his bridge . Act Five . Sulu calls for an intruder alert as Tuvok offers to break the mind meld , warning Janeway that if his brain is fatally damaged that she will suffer brain damage as well . Janeway declines , as she feels that they are very close to the truth . " Excelsior " s security officers arrive and arrest the two , as they realize that Janeway ' s presence will stop the memory from following its proper course so she will need to appear inconspicuous among the crew of the " Excelsior " . Going back in time to the moment Tuvok was preparing Sulu ' s Vulcan tea , Tuvok performs a nerve pinch on Rand and the two help themselves to her uniform , so that Janeway will more likely escape notice of Sulu and his officers . Meanwhile , The Doctor fits a cortical stimulator on Tuvok to bring him out of the meld with bursts of thoron radiation . This exposes a virus masquerading as one of Tuvok ' s memory engrams , and The Doctor increases the amount of radiation to kill the virus . On the " Excelsior " bridge , Rand ' s absence is noticed but before Sulu can investigate further , the Klingons attack and Valtane once again dies after his console explodes . Janeway asks Tuvok to concentrate , to bring them to the precipice with the girl . Meanwhile , the virus in Tuvok ' s brain migrates to the captain ' s , and accordingly , Janeway experiences her version of Tuvok ' s flashback , seeing herself as a child in Tuvok ' s place . The Doctor fits a stimulator on Janeway and irradiates her brain , causing the virus to move again , and now Tuvok ' s flashback recurs . As the virus begins to die , The Doctor once again increases the amount of radiation to eighty kilodyne s . The flashback recurs now with a young Valtane hanging on to the girl , and then again and again with other children – presumably the other hosts the virus has infected in its lifetime . It turns out that the virus feeds on neural peptides and bypasses the immune system of its host by disguising itself as a memory engram – the false memory of the girl falling from the cliff , so traumatic that the mind would repress it , thus ensuring that it would not be detected living in the brain of the host . Tuvok concludes that Valtane , as he lay dying , infected him with the virus , the same way the virus infected the captain as Tuvok ' s mind began to degrade . Kes wonders whether the girl ever really existed , and in response The Doctor surmises that the memory has been passed on so many times , that there is no way of knowing the true history behind the memory of the fall or if the girl even ever existed . Leaving sickbay , Janeway asks if " Excelsior " managed to rescue Kirk and McCoy . Tuvok tells her that the ship was forced to abandon the rescue mission . However , like many times previously in their careers , Kirk and McCoy provided their own means of escape , and both the " Excelsior " and Captain Sulu and the starship " Enterprise , " under Captain Kirk himself , ended up playing a pivotal role in the following events at Khitomer . Janeway notes that Tuvok sounds almost nostalgic about those days . Tuvok reminds her he doesn ' t feel nostalgia , however as he remembers those events and meeting Kirk , McCoy , and Spock , he is glad that he was a part of them . Janeway remarks that , in a funny way , she feels like she was a part of it as well . Tuvok responds that perhaps , she can be nostalgic for both of them . " Voyager " resumes its course towards Earth . Memorable quotes . " " I am not Human . " " " " No kidding . " " " " Structure . Logic . Function . Control . The structure cannot stand without a foundation . Logic is the foundation of function . Function is the essence of control . I am in control . I am in control . " " " " Mr . Tuvok , if you ' re going to remain on my ship , you ' re going to have learn how to appreciate a joke . And don ' t tell me Vulcans don ' t have a sense of humor ; because I know better . " " " " Ensign , do you know this woman ? " " " " You ' ll find that more happens on the bridge of a starship than just carrying out orders and observing regulations . There is a sense of loyalty to the men and women you serve with . A sense of family . Those two men on trial . . . I served with them for a long time . I owe them my life a dozen times over . And right now they ' re in trouble and I ' m going to help them ; let the regulations be damned . " " " " Sir , that is a most illogical line of reasoning . " " " " You better believe it . Helm , engage ! " " " " Mr . Neelix , I would prefer not to hear the life history of my breakfast . " " " " Mr . Sulu , I see they have finally given you the captaincy you deserve . " " " " Thank you , Kang . " " " " Do not let it end prematurely . " " " " Nice to see you again , Kang . " " " " Grr . . . " " " " As a Starfleet officer , it is my duty to formally protest . " " " " Tuvok ! " " " " I don ' t know what happened to you , but there can be any number of explanations – hallucination , telepathic communication from another race , repressed memory , momentary contact with a parallel reality . . . take your pick . The universe is such a strange place . " " " " All right , Gamma Shift . Time to defend the Federation against gaseous anomalies . " " " " Seal that conduit ! " " " " Who knows what goes on in a Vulcan ' s mind . " " " " I ' ve observed that Captain Sulu drinks a cup of tea each morning . I thought he might enjoy a Vulcan blend . " " " " Oh , I see . Trying to make lieutenant in your first month ? I wish I ' d have thought of that when I was your age . Took me three years just to make ensign . " " " " I assure you I have no ulterior motive . " " " " Whatever you say , ensign . See you on the bridge . " " " " You ' ve never brought " me " tea . " " " " It would seem that Captain Sulu decided not to enter that journey into his official log . The day ' s entry makes some cryptic remark about the ship being damaged in a gaseous anomaly and needing repairs , but . . . nothing else . " " " " You mean , he falsified his logs ? " " " " It was a very different time , Mister Kim . Captain Sulu , Captain Kirk , Doctor McCoy . They all belonged to a different breed of Starfleet officers . Imagine the era they lived in : the Alpha Quadrant still largely unexplored . . . Humanity on the verge of war with the Klingons , Romulans hiding behind every nebula . Even the technology we take for granted was still in its early stages : no plasma weapons , no multi - phasic shields . . . Their ships were half as fast . " " " " No replicators . No holodecks . You know , ever since I took Starfleet history at the Academy , I ' ve always wondered what it would be like to live in those days . " " " " Space must have seemed a whole lot bigger back then . It ' s not surprising they had to bend the rules a little . They were a little slower to invoke the Prime Directive , and a little quicker to pull their phasers . Of course , the whole bunch of them would be booted out of Starfleet today . But I have to admit : I would have loved to ride shotgun at least once with a group of officers like that . " " " " Whew . . . Vulcans ! You guys need to relax . " " " " Who the hell are you ? " " " " We could have just asked her . " " " " Asking female officers for their clothing could lead to misunderstanding . " " " " Memory is a tricky thing . " " " " I ' m curious : did the " Excelsior " ever save Kirk and McCoy ? " " " " Not directly . We were forced to retreat back to Federation space - as usual , Captain Kirk provided his own means of escape . . . But we " did " play an important role at the subsequent battle at Khitomer . " " " " Mr . Tuvok , if I didn ' t know you better , I ' d say you miss those days on the " Excelsior " . " " " " But there are times when I think back to those days of meeting Kirk , Spock and the others , and I am pleased that I was part of it . " " " " In a funny way , I feel like I was a part of it , too . " " " " Then perhaps you can be nostalgic for both of us . " " " " Tuvok ! Please , Tuvok ! Don ' t let me fall ! " " Links and references . References . 47 ; acid ; adrenaline ; all hands ; Alpha Quadrant ; antibody ; argon ; Azure Nebula ; battle stations ; blood factor ; Bolian ; brig ; Bussard collector ; cartilage ; class 17 nebula ; class 11 nebula ; cortical stimulator ; cordrazine ; crew quarters ; crustacean ; deflector shield ; dill weed ; dizziness ; encephalographic profile ; ; enthraxic citrus peel ; ; ; Federation ; fluorine ; gasoline ; garnish ; Golwat ; hallucination ; heart rate ; helium ; hippocampus ; holodeck ; hydrogen ; ice cream scoop ; intruder alert ; junior science officer ; Keethera ; Khitomer ; kilodyne ; ; Klingon battle cruiser ; Klingon Empire ; Kolinahr ; ; lobotomy ; logic ; ; memory virus ; Milky Way Galaxy ; mind meld ; Mister Vulcan ; multiphasic shield s ; Neelix ' mother ; neural pattern ; neurocortical monitor ; neuroelectricity ; nostalgia ; orange juice ; oxygen ; panic attack ; papalla seed extract ; pantry ; parallel reality ; parboiling ; parietal bone ; parts per million ; peptide ; plasma conduit ; " pon farr " ; Porakan egg s ; Porakas IV ; positron beam ; Praxis ; Prime Directive ; " pyllora " ; Qo ' noS ; red alert ; rengazo ; replicator ; repressed memory ; replicator ; Romulan s ; shotgun ; sirillium ; Spock ; Starfleet Academy ; Starfleet Headquarters ; Starfleet Regulations ; storage bay ; subspace frequency ; subspace shock wave ; synaptic pathway ; tachyon sweep ; Talax ; tea ; telepathy ; thermal array ; theta - xenon ; thoron radiation ; T ' lokan schism ; T ' Meni ; ; turbolift ; Vulcan ; Vulcan ( planet ) ; Vulcan nerve pinch ; vulture ; ;