Sometimes death is the best thing to happen to an artist or other people with potential fame and admiration. For centuries, figures from Vincent Van Gogh to Martin Luther King, Jr. to Michael Jackson have been elevated to greater heights, or have become more appreciated, because they are no longer on this earth. All their faults become virtually forgotten or forgiven, and their strengths, or the reasons they became famous in the first place, come quickly to the public's consciousness. The exceptions to this rule perhaps include serial killers.

Pauly Shore, in his directorial debut (if that fact doesn't scare you away from this film already), had this idea in mind when he made the mockumentary "Pauly Shore Is Dead". In it, Shore plays himself, and fakes his own death for the sole purpose of getting free publicity and a new appreciation. Unfortunately, Shore gives very little reason why he would be idolized to the extent of John Belushi or Sam Kinison after he dies. This movie is probably his strongest work so far, but that's really not saying much.

Shore starts the movie out by giving a brief synopsis of his life and career, while not being shy to admit that his mother, Mitzi Shore, owned the Comedy Store, where many legendary comedians from Andy Kaufmann to Jim Carrey to Sam Kinison got their big breaks. This family connection contributed to his fame during the 90's, but admittedly wasn't the sole contributor. No doubt, for a few years in the 90's, Shore was a major movie star. Siskel & Ebert thought he was the anti-Christ (check out atthemoviestv.com, type in Shore's name, and see for yourself. It's pretty funny.), but he still made comedies that were modest hits.

After 1997, Shore's career crashed and burned. This is where the synopsis ends and the movie begins, shortly after Pauly Shore's sitcom "Pauly" (originally aired on Fox) premieres. Needless to say, the show was a flop. In the movie, Shore blames the sitcom itself for his ultimate demise, and doesn't appear to acknowledge that maybe his "Hey buuuddy!" dumb guy shtick may have gotten old after a while.

No matter, though, Shore whines his way through the rest of the movie, making no real attempt to revive his career or even (God forbid!) reinvent himself. It's only through a meeting with the ghost of Sam Kinison (by a really good Kinison impersonator who's so good, you'd think Kinison himself faked his death) that Shore decides to reinvent his career by killing himself, or at least pretending to.

He receives the vast media attention he wanted, with his picture on magazine covers and interviews with celebrities (all of whom play themselves in more cameos than you can shake a stick at) saying what a misunderstood genius Shore was. Since Michael Jackson died recently as of the date this review is written, these kinds of post-death accolades are very familiar. Ultimately, though, Shore is caught, and is sent to jail for reasons not explained very well in the film. People who fake their death don't go to jail unless there's insurance fraud involved. There was no mention of insurance in this movie, although that would have been an intriguing plot point.

Unfortunately, Shore didn't think the premise all the way through before shooting. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of things he didn't think through before shooting. For instance, in a scene that takes place in 1997, a bus pulls in front of Shore that has a poster on it for the movie "Resident Evil", which came out in 2002! More than that, though, since Shore has been out of the A-list spotlight for a decade now, you never know how much of this movie is fact or fiction. Of course Shore's career fizzled after 1997, but did he really lose his house? Did he really move back in with his mother? It would have been nice for Shore to establish these facts, and be a little bit more honest about how losing a career sucks. He could have made an honest, funny movie rooted in truth, but really blinded that ambition with a premise he couldn't handle, a boatload of celebrity cameos (almost too many unnecessary ones), and really annoying egomania that I'm not sure was supposed to be funny.

A recurring line you hear a lot during the movie is when Shore approaches a famous friend (like Charlie Sheen or Vern "Minime" Troyer, who play themselves) and asks them, "Is there a part in the movie for me? (**Insert Long, Noticeable Pause Here**) Dude, is there a part in the movie for me!?!" Did Shore think this was funny? Had he not heard of an agent? Is he really as dumb in real life as he was in "In The Army Now"? This movie, which could have been refreshingly funny, is guilty of too many assumptions. One such part is when Shore, while in jail, is put into the hole and has a clairvoyant conversation with Adam Sandler (who provided his own voice in this movie). Both comedians contemplate about how they made the same kinds of movie, played the same kinds of stupid people, yet Sandler is still a high commodity and Shore isn't. Although some people loved Sandler during his "Billy Madison" and "Happy Gilmore" days and hate him now, Sandler's still famous because he grew up. Sure he's made some bad movies, but if he kept playing the same kind of character as Billy Madison, his career would be equally as dead. What Shore assumes (I assume) is that playing the same character over and over again would reap many rewards. Either he assumes that, or his self in the movie assumes that. There's no clear distinction, and that's really what hurts the movie the most.


I traded this DVD for an AOL Free Trial CD and I am better man for it. I would rather down a bottle of Ipecac than watch five minutes of this "movie" again. The whole thing is interviews with out-of-work, coked-out celebrities giving staged interviews about "What if" Pauly Shore was dead. The highlights of the film include the foul mouth stylings of Verne Troyer, bitter about being short and a slightly coherent and heavily drooling Tom Sizemore. If you feel so compelled to buy this movie, I recommend you send me the $6 this costs at Target and I'll be happy come over and put a plastic bag over your head for few minutes... I promise, the effect will be the same.


Do not bother wasting your time or money on this product it really is appalling the plot is cumbersome and confused and the acting is diabolical.Its an attempt to get good actors together with a crap script and try to make it funny well I am sorry but this just isn't possible. The film transcends into ridiculous cameo performances but fails to make them spark the film into life how they managed to get so many comic actors on board with this script is beyond me because quite frankly the film is just not funny. Its a tired story anyway which has been done many times before and surely better though I haven't watched this type of film as I know what it is going to be like boring and unfunny.


This movie portrays Pauly attempting to revive his dead career. The irony is that if this movie were actually any good, it probably would revive his career. Unfortunately for Pauly thats not the case. It's terribly boring and full of bad acting. I applaud Pauly for recognizing why his career failed but wish he had just accepted the fact that he can't act and just chosen an alternative path to potential success.

Don't be fooled by the all-star cast of this movie. That's just a stunt to lure as many poor victims into viewing this piece of lard as possible. I imagine most of the cast signed up out of pity.

Pauly, Give up now! Go find a new career! Maybe serving at McDonalds? You MIGHT do well at that!


I too was smiling like the Cheshire cat when I first read the title of this film, wishing it was a doco. I actually want to see the title, "The guy who funds Pauly Shore's movies is DEAD", cos really there are others to blame for this. The fact that the Hilton sisters got a run in this goes to show the quality, and as for disgracing the late Sam Kinisson, Bill Hicks will be waiting for you in hell. I'm sorry, but anyone who tries to tell me anything this guy has ever done is anything near funny really needs to take a good hard look at themselves. I still think one of the best scenes in South Park was when Mrs Crabtree screamed at Pauly Shore and made him pee his pants. "Sit down and shut up!!!"


Let me start by saying I have never had the urge to make a comment on IMDb yet - not for a great movie, and certainly not for a bad one. But this movie was so horrible I HAD to warn people.

I thought Pauly Shore was reasonably funny until this. Half of this movie isn't even trying to be humorous. It's Pauly Shore's desperate attempt at saving his career.

Yes there are tons of celebrity "cameos", but they are all so short, and I'd say maybe two of them are slightly funny. This movie plays as if it was written and directed by a no-talent former MTV "VJ". And it is.


The screenplay, if one can call this one note monstrosity that, was written by Shore and some guy named Kirk Fox, yet it all smacks of being a vanity project, laced with bad one liners where the B listers try to recall who Shore was, after his 'death', then rail against him when exposed. You know you're film is in trouble when a supposedly funny scripted line by Chris Rock, 'No Pauly. {blank} you. Stay dead,' turns out to be the most genuine reaction to this film. My only consolation is that the DVD was cheap and this review will hopefully deter any other potential viewers from lining Shore's pockets. You have to take small victories wherever you can get them, sometimes.


Imagine a really bad idea for a TV show as dreamed up by Guy Caballero ("it's like "The Young and the Restless, but on wheels!") and you've got Train 48. The actors are okay (except for the ones playing Johnny and Brenda who ham it up way too much), but they can only do so much with the ludicrous material. The show might have worked better if the script had stuck to chit chat about current events. But by the time the second season rolled around there wasn't a character who hadn't been beaten up/stabbed/shot/deported/abused by her father/duped by a transsexual.....

Anyway, I read that the idea for the show come from a similar program aired in Sydney, so blame Australia.


I watched this show with my parents. They shot each other shortly after the opening 5 minutes of this show. And I was planning to shoot myself too, but they hogged all the bullets. If there is anyone that reads this and that was in the show, you should follow my parents example and shoot yourself. Or someone might throw you into a train. But I feel bad for you because there's no chance you'll ever get a job in the acting field again, not that anyone watched this sh*tty show for that matter. Well anyways the show was a f*cking disaster on wheels, and if you plan on watching this show, make sure you have a gun, or a balcony, or a noose or something. Thanks for reading.


Now I'm not generally a LOVER of 30's film. The monologues are frankly quite too much for me. I am a lover of GOOD film. And while Meet Joe Black isn't the finest caliber of film out there, it kicks this one's butt!

I was accepting of it until Death walks out of the room laughing evilly?because he is going to be human. How ridiculous. It's all so overly dramatic that it's a comedy more than a love story.

I recommend it for a good laugh :)


OK, so I was settling down for 2 hours of fun nonsense, I love a good samurai flick... but i had to resist the urge to dump this movie after an hour, but i stuck with it hoping maybe for a great finale.... but it never came.

This could have been a great movie - they had the budget, some great supporting actors, a fun idea. But the whole thing lacked conviction. The fight sequences were well set up, but fell between the two stools of the hard realism of 'Zatoichi' or 'Twilight Samuri', or balletic grace of a Zhang Yimou action flick. The main problem is the actors - has there ever been a more wimpy bunch of action hero's? Aya Ueto is completely unconvincing, Michelle Yeoh would use this girl as a toothpick. The script seems to have been written by a bored 15 year old on a wet afternoon. Is it too much to expect a bit of wit and some good dialogue, even from a cartoon action movie? The vague attempts to give the characters depth were embarrassingly bad. The cinematography was straight out of a cheap afternoon TV movie.

The only really good thing about this movie is the baddies - a good range of character actors doing fun turns - but when i find myself wishing that the bad guys would cut up the good guys I know the movies onto a loser.

I really wish i could say something nicer about this movie, but I really feel it was 2 hours lost from my life.


Azumi has an interesting topic however; this wonderful topic turns into a one, long boring movie. Hyper kinetic camera work is exaggerated, acting is terrible, and battles are ridiculous... Sword play is obviously better than the ones in Kill Bill but that's not enough. Kill Bill should no more be criteria for any Asian movies. There are many specific moments in this movie that requires critical acting such as the moments when Azumi's internal struggle begins. Therefore, when you watch those moments, you see nothing but a posing high school girl; no mimics, no posture, no feelings exposed, no acting. Fortunately, the film is not a waste of time for the fans of this genre. There are some astonishing fight scenes that remind Crouching Tiger & Hidden Dragon, choreography of those fight scenes are well accomplished, but it's not enough. It was not just well choreographed fight scenes that made Crouching Tiger & Hidden Dragon or Zatoichi great movies that are worth watching again and again. They all had an impressive casting and sense of enthusiasm. Azumi even lacks a comic book atmosphere, because it has a grammar school production atmosphere. Ryuhei Kitamura appears to be an amazing director regarding Aragami and Versus but in Azumi he steps back and spoils a chance. Of course, a brilliant director like him can easily recover and mend his mistakes. But it's not something very easy for young and beautiful Aya Ueto, she has a long way to go, it's better for her if she takes more acting classes...


Azumi is an unconvincing and poorly Directed film. The main problem is the casting of a girl who in no way has the physical dexterity, grace or strength to pull off the fight scenes. Aya Ueto looks frail and she moves very slowly in the action scenes, the complete opposite of Ziyi Zhang in "House of Flying Daggers." All the sharp cutting and ridiculous Camera angles can do nothing to hide her lack of skill and rhythm.

The film as a whole is a mess. It wants to be a mix of "Yojimbo" and "Battle Royal" but fails miserably. Towards the latter part of the movie, comedy seems to want to take over, strange cartoon like noises suddenly accompany the action and I found them completely out of place.

With the highly tuned and masterful direction of such action films as "House of Flying Daggers" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", the fight scenes in this movie seemed half- baked. Not enough thought had gone into the choreography and it showed. Men just seemed to fall down as Azumi skipped by.


The only reason i rented this movie was because of the cute looking girl on the cover. If I had known, what I know now, not too judge a book/film by its cover, i would just have rented one of the LoTR movies again. I'm not the kind who dislikes movies just because they are unrealistic.. but this is just too much!

I think the main reason why this movie is so awful is because of the direction. With a decent director, Azumi could even have bin watchable... but alas, it was not meant to be!

Clothes look ridiculous... the action scenes try to be like crouching tiger but look more like a b-movie from the 70's. Story.... what story??

The extra star is for the girl who plays Azumi. Not because she's a good actress or anything.. but because she's just so damn cute!


I don't have a problem with violence in movies. One of my favourite Japanese films of recent times is "Battle Royale" and as anyone who has seen it will testify, Kinji Fukusaku (the director) was no shrinking violet when it came to blowing people up. That said, I think that violence for it's own sake is at best boring and at worst quite disturbing. "Azumi" is a film where the violence is thrown in, it seems, for no other purpose than to shock. I'm sure there are people out there who love this type of film and the rating would seem to verify that but for me it was dull and self indulgent rubbish. "Battle Royale" left me disturbed but I was thinking about it for a week afterwards. "Azumi" only left me yawning and wishing for the closing credits.


okay, how shall I start.. first of all, I like you to know that you should not see this movie because it totally SUCKS!!! IT SUUUUUCKS, its the worst movie ever, and thats with "The Presidents Man" and "Titanic" included... that should tell you how bad it is...

whats so bad about Azumi?: well, first of all, the special effects where made(apparently) with Microsoft Paint, its worse then Barbara Streisand, and thats really, really bad.

2. the scenery, I think that the scenery was made with a huge piece of cardboard and 2 cans of paint, thats how it looks, its really, really, really crappy...

3. the "blood"(there is a lot of blood in this movie) is made with red spraypaint...(that should say enough)

4. the story... well, I don't have much to say about this, its just... a story, not really good, but not really bad neither ... well, that should say enough about my point of view on this movie, like they say on Newgrounds: "blam this piece of crap!"


A few twists and turns keep the viewer's interest in this one, although Van Heflin's whining can turn you off. Robert Taylor plays a convincing tough guy with no compromises, but someone who softens up and does the right thing at the end.

Heflin has some interesting lines but, personally, seeing a drunk in major role like this wasn't much fun to watch or hear. He ruined the film for me with his unlikeable annoying character.

Meanwhile, once she changed hairstyles, Lana Turner was a lot easier to watch. Fans of her will be disappointed in her screen time and the amount of lines they gave her to speak. It's not much.

A slightly-below average film noir/melodrama for its period.


Barney is starting to drive me crazy. It would be simple if he were worthless, but he isn't.

Where I stand: I'm watching the Cremasters in numeric sequence and have seen number one. I've also seen two other projects. In half of the four, I felt rewarded. He's a bit too much preoccupied with notation than form, disconcerting in a sculptor, but "Drawing Restraint" and "Cremaster 1" had moments that were transcendent. The projects as whole compositions collapsed under their heft, but when they impressed, they really did.

Where he gets into trouble is when he tries to impose narrative. You can be visually strong in terms of pure form. Or you can be narratively strong using cinematic form, which is visual in a different way. He understand the first and is wholly incompetent in the second. Unfortunately here he "has something to say." Fragments of actual stories appear where they were avoided in the other projects.

Lynch knows how to do this. Medem. Tarkovsky. Its what I call the long form and it requires an understanding of whole realms not just bits from them.

Stay away from this one. It fails and the collapse is uninteresting.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.


Cremaster 2 proves two points: that art and art films alike are not judged as works alone but run as a popularity contest by a small elite few and also that the less people understand something the more intellectual it must be. After viewing this insanely substanceless film I was neither moved nor spurned to thought nor any emotional response that a truly masterful filmmakers works invoke. Barney's overused references to bee's and grossly overused stock footage of scrolling landscapes (at least I hope they were stock film as no cinematographer with any knowledge of composition would waste filming such boring landscapes in such a bland way) made this a tedious chore to sit through. For the love of all things good in film boycott garbage like this. Remember - if the message is unclear it might not be because you didn't understand it - sometimes it just isn't there.


Don't expect this to resemble anything like the novel. In all, its a pretty B grade series with the worst CGI I've ever seen in my life and one wonders, if one cannot take the dinos seriously due to how unconvincing they look, then why watch the series at all? The inclusion of one busty and scantily clad woman and some partial nudity involving Rachel Blakely are perhaps reasons to to see this but if they've thrown these in on purpose, it would seem that they themselves don't take this series very seriously. The story lines are perhaps passable and decent but this series is no great shakes by itself and the CGI dinos don't show that frequently.


This movie bears only a vague resemblence to the novel, which is a classic, but this movie was a travesty. I was spluttering and ranting throughout the vast majority of it, as they added a 'love interest' and took other liberties with the story to make it more fitting for a Hollywood formula.

My condolences to the cast and crew.


Awful TV show. Cheap cheesy effects and the dumbest most repetitive plots in all of TVdom. Can't hold a candle to any of the movie versions all of which are far, far better. Perhaps the only draw of this show is the fact that in the first season it featured a little bit of nudity. Nice gimmick, didn't ABC do that years ago?


At least that is the strong impression I got from the episode I just saw.

The episode begins with two men being chased through the forest, with Black "natives" chasing them. The heroes blow the away what turns out are BLACK CANNIBALS. What an age-old and horribly racist stereotype. You would think by the 21st century we'd be past such brazen bigotry.

At one point one of the main characters complains [in the midst of cavalierly blowing away Black cannibal one after the other], "This place is INFESTED with 'em!" as though they were cockroachs, or vermin of some sort.

It seems not much has changed in "entertainment". Movies before the 50's were packed with such stigmatizing, defaming, and historically inaccurate depictions of Black people. And "The Lost World" seems to be keeping that racist legacy alive.


This thing is not worth downloading.

This movie urinates all over the canon of the Street Fighter series of games. Makes no sense. Contains one massive idiot plot (that actually involves the director RIPPING OFF HIS OWN FILMS, Romeo Must Die! No one even comes close to looking like they should. And if your movie title contains the words "Street" and "Fighter" in them, it behooves you to have them... at some point... Fighting. Preferably, in a Street. Not running around dockside with machineguns like in a Lethal Weapon flick.

Kristen Kreuk managed to turn in the least sexy fighting heroine ever. She managed to make possibly the lamest all-girl dance scene ever committed to film. And I'm counting 1938's Sex Madness in the list. She manages to dance whiter than Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life. I'd have appreciated someone falling into a pool at some point in this flick.

Raul Julia actually brought an enjoyable panache to the role of M. Bison. And he had black hair. And was a snappy dresser. And killed Chun Li's father on a Tuesday. OF COURSE!!

They managed to take a cool video game, and in the process of making the movie, extract every single thing that made it cool. Vega should not wear a shirt, Gen should be a deceptively frail old martial arts master, Cammy should be... somewhere in there.


So this movie has been on my radar for quite a while. I was smooth talked by Justin Mark's assurance that his treatment of the movie was respectful and to be prepared for a new era of gaming films. I was pumped and on board, and then... I saw the film. THE GOD-AWFUL The script from this movie was a joke. When Bison utters something about milk and expiry dates, I laughed. It was a nervous laugh, but it was laughter. This movie makes no sense to me at all. The pitch was it was a Chun Li story about looking beyond revenge. In the end, she gets her revenge and the moral is? Revenge is the answer. THE BAD The costumes in this movie can also suck it. I felt terrible for Kristin in the night club scene, wearing a ridiculous dress and using her feminine wiles ( primo top dollar dancing to the unaware) to lure Cantana, a lesbian associate of Bison, into a bathroom. The pacing of this movie was dreadful, and we are hand-held for every scene, if Chun Li is walking on the screen she will undoubtedly inform us "I was walking.." ... REALLY? Really. THE UGLY The truth is this movie insults movie goers, gamers, and people, in general. Am I supposed to feel for Chun Li, even though she had a privileged life, and a loving mother? How is she a victim of circumstance? Am I supposed to feel Vega's threatening persona through five minutes of him getting the crap kicked out of him? Am I supposed to believe Bison is all evil when he continues to nurture his daughter? I think this movie was seriously edited so terribly, whatever good there was to salvage was lost on the cutting room floor. Whoever edited this needs to be bird kicked in the throat. It just makes no sense to me how the editor could do his job, watch the movie and allow this to enter the theaters. The best parts of the movie involved subtitles, and a sunset. That is it. So there you go, street fighter 2? Most assuredly, not.


This movie was terrible to put it simply. I wasn't expecting it to be great, but I wasn't expecting it to be as bad as it was. It seemed that they took a really bad, wannabe Kung-Fu movie added some Street Fighter names and thought that would good enough to pass it off as a Street Fighter movie. Horrible, almost nonexistent plot, bad acting, and terrible fight scenes make this movie not worth the time it takes to watch it. At times it was funny though, but not intentionally. When certain characters try to be serious or they throw out some line they think would be good catch phrase you can't help but laugh at how poor the acting was.


WOW. Where do we begin? It's been ages since I have seen a film of such poor quality, so much so that the many parts of the whole have come together to form a movie so insipid, so completely devoid of merit that only a team of evil geniuses, locked away in an isolated mountain fortress, driven mad by loneliness, despair, and bad TV sitcoms could have ever created such an atrocity.

So, the film opens with a a lengthy, completely unnecessary monologue by Chun-Li that is supposed to set the story and give neophytes into the Street Fighter saga some background into her life. Great. This part proceeds with the pacing and depth of a newbie film student's freshman project, and is completely unremarkable. WHat is TRULY terrible, however, is that she NEVER SHUTS UP! Usually a narration is present to help you discern elements of a story that you might otherwise miss, such as a character's thoughts and feelings...but when she goes on and on talking about everything that you the viewer are already seeing on screen, well...someone was definitely trying to pad their script.

Oh yeah, the script...let's talk about that for a little bit, shall we? Right from the get-go, you are amazed at the flat, base dialog that would only impress those who had just discovered the joys of reading - the speech is flat, stilted, and poorly acted by all in the cast. M. Bison's entry into the early set was particularly painful to listen to, and Balrog's cheesy entrance into the scene was so god-awful that I was actually pining for the time when he held a video camera as Chun-Li's cameraman back in 94! Oh, and let's talk about one plot point that just angered me off from the get-go: M. Bison's origin. So, supposedly, in order to drive out his "conscience," (which is supposed to make him more powerful? Heh...okay...) he must rip his unborn daughter from her mother's womb in a spooky cave where evil spirits dwell.

Huh. Riiiight.

Now, it's bad enough that they made up such a stupid plot point to begin with, but can someone please explain something to me: just how is it that M. Bison could have actually even HAD a conscience in the first place if he was willing to go through with killing his wife and ripping out his daughter from her womb? Further, HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL?! ...

...

...

...yeah. It's a lot of this "I stole these plot ideas from my ten year old son" crap throughout the whole film.

Oh, and if anyone EVER defends Chris Klein as an actor after this film, they lose all credibility...not just as a film critic, but as a human being with ANY opinion whatsoever. My God...that man brings suck to a previously unheard of level that actually elevates Sci-Fi channel original movie D-listers...

How's this for a succinct clincher: Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li actually gives Manos: the Hands of Fate some healthy competition for worst film ever.


If you think my heading is cheesy and stupid you're absolutely right and I heartily agree...unfortunately that vary statement is the crux of the latest Street Fighter attempt's plot.

Ignoring the 1994 Van Damme version of the franchise this film starts anew, focusing on the character of Chun Li, a young Asian woman highly skilled in both piano and martial arts. Her dad gets taken away from her at a young age by M. Bison who uses him in his criminal plot to overthrow Bangkok. Unfortunately for Bison Chun Li grows up, meets a mystic who teaches her some freaky stuff and sets out to kick his ass. While the Van Damme version was far from spectacular it had a sense of humor about itself and wasn't afraid to have fun with the material, which was at the very least entertaining for a lazy hour and a half. The Legend of Chun Li tries to be a dark brooding action thriller with something like Batman Begins as its model...but the material just doesn't support it. The plot goes back and forth between clichés and just plan dumb hokey sci-fi stuff. Yes, being "rid of your goodness" is actually a plot point.

The script is loaded with cheesy dialog and flat characters which doesn't make the actors' jobs any easier and they really don't live up to the challenge. Chris Klein is particularly bad in his attempt to be the bad ass.

You would think the action would at least make it worth the time but even that is nothing to brag about. The fights are far too staged and obviously fake. They throw in some signature moves from the video games that are beyond reality. If they'd been shot differently they would've been cool, but here they just look ridiculous. These are things that would fit at home in a more cartoony film like its predecessor...but sorry, no go.


This movie is very terrible in many ways.

First off, the choice of characters is the worst possible ever for a game movie. Chun Li is meant to be Chinese yet you've chosen an actress who has problem speaking the language in the movie (when for example she asks for help which she asked in a terrible accent).

Game movies are not really easy to be pulled off along with good reviews, not many are out there. The reason is shown very clear in this movie. The director ALWAYS misses the point of what the movie should be about; I mean fair enough you don't want a movie about Ryu fighting Ken or Bison, and want a Legend of Chun Li, But you could've put a better story in it, or give the movie better actors (I can't believe the acting in this movie). Take Marvel for example, their world interacts a lot of different marvel characters, but when it comes to their own movie/cartoon, they actually make the story relevant to the characters life(e.g just because Bison was the boss, it doesn't mean that Chun Li's life has to be revolved around killing him (which is what Ryu does)).

The choice of camera shots used to try and show the story was also done badly. For example when Bison was trying to show the camera that he had a picture of his wife and daughter, which were dear to him; First off, would Bison do this? Secondly, this is very very corny.

This movie had made me dislike street fighter. I would highly recommend better actors and directors AND story writers if another street fighter movie comes out.

P.S Didn't finish the movie, it was that bad.


I don't even know where to start. For anyone who knows anything about Street Fighter, set yourself up for disappointment because the movie has absolutely nothing to do with the game. There are little to zero special effects and the ones that are in the movie do not revolve around the fighters special powers. Let's talk about the characters....I realize the movie is suppose to be about Chun-Li, but that does not mean exclude every other character in the game. The ONLY characters are Chun-Li, Balrog, Bison, and Vega. None of the characters have the same power or skill that they display in the game. There are also a lot of over played scenes by useless characters such as Chris Klein's Interpol character and the other Asian chick that also has no purpose. They only serve as pawns in making the movie more irritating. If there was ever a punishment you wanted to dish out to anyone or revenge you wanted to take upon somebody, just have them watch this movie.


From the start it looked to be a good movie, we got a look into the Chun-Li history, followed by a good fight sequence with her father, Micheal Clark Duncan and 3 henchmen. The story continues, and slows down a bit and we follow Chun-Li's journey. Then we are introduced to Charlie Nash (Chris Klein) and Det. Maya Sunee (Moon Bloodgood), who's corny and horrible one line's make you wonder why they are even in the story. Their presence in the Movie ruined anything good in the movie. At one pint Chris Klein delivered a line and sounded like a funny punchline; it wasn't, neither was anything that came out from him. Another disappointment to fan's was the short fight scene between Chun-Li and Vega, the fight was not worth the slight build up for it. In general, I enjoyed a bit of the movie, mainly watching Chun-Li's journey and Bison (Neal McDonough) playing a cold blooded villain; which was the only character that was fun to watch. The opening fight was the best through the movie, after that the rest just are plain. The end give's us a nice little hook to see the next one as they mention Ryu and the Street Fighter Tournament, but if the same writer and director are to do it, I rather save my money and avoid watching it, especially if Charlie Nash (Chris Klein)will be in it.

I was disappointed, as a fan and a movie goer.


When the original Street Fighter with Van Damme came out, I remember, I wanted to go see it. And when I finally did, I was very upset with it, as they changed a lot of things around, and it was a pretty goofy movie for the most part, didn't take itself overly seriously at any point. But it was entertaining at least, and a lot of the characters were easily recognizable because they actually looked, for the most part, like they did in the games...especially Bison, albeit with much less muscle.

When I first saw the trailer for this, I pretty much went WTF??? Not only did the trailer not come out until just over a month before the release date, something I've rarely seen and usually only with horrible movies, it showed characters that looked NOTHING like the game...at all.

So I went into this with very low expectations, and it couldn't even reach those. The plot is essentially non existent....Bison plans to kick a whole bunch of people out of their homes in order to build houses for people that can afford them....yup. Diabolical, I know. A very FAR cry from anything Shadoloo ever planned in the games. Chun Li is on a quest to find her father, and stop Bison. And then of course there's the generic cop team trying to investigate and not having one clue as to what to do until near the very end, when all they do is storm a building. Ooooo, riveting! There are also sub plots connecting the characters to one another in essentially stupid and pointless ways, just to fill in the lengthy gaps between action scenes. This movie could have just been some run of the mill, stop the bad business man movie, and aside from the names of the characters and the organization, and also TWO moves from the games...it is. There's no reason for Street Fighter to be on this movie, they could have just as easily called it some generic action movie title (Sweet Revenge for example) and taken away the names of the characters and there you go.

About the only thing they kept even remotely close to the games was Chun Li's father is taken by Bison...that's right, taken, not killed. Balrog is a big black guy....and Vega wears a mask and claws....albeit a shiny silver mask that makes him look more like Jason then anything IMO.

And that's pretty much it. Chun Li sports a dress and hair at one point in the movie that harks to her costume in the games, but doesn't pull it off too well. Bison is blonde...and wears a suit through the whole movie...even in the final fight. Vega has Black hair, and dresses entirely in...black. And then he's on screen fighting for, oh, 1 minute 20 seconds, if that, and then poof, he's gone. What you see in the trailer of that fight is pretty much the entire fight. Nash (Charlie from the games) also has black hair, works for Interpol...and that's it. His part in the movie is useless, pointless, and pretty much just there to try and revive Chris Klein's career, which it fails at, horribly. Doesn't even fight in the movie, just shoots a lot at one point and that's it.

Gen....poor Robin Shou, a great fighter, but hasn't gotten a decent role since Mortal Kombat Annihilation utterly destroyed his career. I would imagine this was to be his come back movie, much like Klein, and he does a decent job, both through acting and fighting, in the movie. It's a shame he had to be in this pile of crud though.

And that's it for characters from the games....Chun Li, Bison, Vega, Balrog, Nash, and Gen. Six whole characters, not even the entire roster from the original Street Fighter game (1, not 2) This entire movie is pointless, has no actual reason as it does not fit into the canon of the games in the least (seeing as how both Balrog and Bison die) As far as I can tell, this movie was made purely to cash in even more on Street Fighter 4's release. That's about the only intelligent part of this movie, as it will more than likely work.

DO NOT watch this movie, spare yourself the horror, no matter how much you love Street Fighter, no matter if you're a person that NEEDS to see and play everything with Street Fighter slapped on it...DO NOT SEE IT!! Not even for free!! Not even on TV!! If you see it, run....run as fast as you can....cherish your life without this movie in it!!


So one would think that this movie would be more accurate to the video games and Anime movies since Capcom had direct hands in this. Nope! This is even worse than the 1994 film. But unlike that one, this one isn't fun. This one isn'y laughably bad. It's just bad. I'll basically go through it, so spoilers if you actually wanted to be surprised.

I went into it expecting crap based on the trailers. But at first, I'm pleasantly surprised! Duncan is Balrog and portrays him very well. Big black boxer, working for Bison, enjoys killing people. Spot on characterization and acting. The opening fight with Chun Li's dad against Balrog and his henchmen was good fun all the way through. I was having a great time! Then M. Bison comes in. Who appears to be the nicest British man in the world. I don't think he's actually British, but that's how he feels. He is not fueled by Psycho Power, he is not the be all end all badass. He's a guy in a suit. Now at first I thought this is how he would start, then later in the movie he would get his Psycho Powers. This never happens.

Chun-Li's actress isn't a bad actress. She plays the role very well. But there's a big major problem, she looks nothing like Chun-Li. This is a glaring issue if for no other reason than it being so distracting to a fan of the games. She's barely Asian, more meek than the most powerful woman in the world, and her legs are NOT super duper awesome. Speaking of which, Chun Li never does her kick attack in this movie. Her trademark move is nowhere to be seen. She does something similar to a Spinning Bird Kick and a Kikoken. In fact, the focus of making Chun Li so awesome in this movie is her learning and performing the Kikoken. Nevermind that this move has never been the focus of Chun Li's character ever, it's her lightning fast kicks. But I'm glad there was a fireball in this movie, that was the main down note of the original live action Street Fighter movie. Also she's not a cop. At all.

Robin Shou finally pops back up into movies playing Gen. Of course, the character is portrayed completely wrong. He's not an old assassin, he's a middle aged former criminal. He also teaches Chun Li the Kikoken. But since Gen hasn't been such a staple character like say most of the SF2 characters, it isn't as obvious. It's nice to see Robin again, as well.

Charlie Nash appears in this as well. The name is pretty much all you get though. He doesn't fight, doesn't Sonic Boom, and doesn't really look like Charlie.

Vega is a waste of Vega. He's dressed in all black and has long black hair, making him look like a ninja as opposed to a Spaniard fighter. Sure, he's the "Spanish Ninja", but his costume is ridiculous. The mask looks like a really cheap prop, especially even compared to the 1994 film. The actor, as well, is a horrible cast for Vega. Vega is beautiful. The Vega in this movie is a tough guy and sounds more like a black man than Michael Clark Duncan. Plus his appearance is horribly short both times, which is worse the second time around. You expect Chun Li vs. Vega to be the first really big fight and it's actually the shortest.

The movie itself has serious pacing issues. Chun Li starts fighting about 15 minutes too late. A large chunk of the first act is based on Chun Li "living amongst the people of Bangkok". Something which could have been wrapped up in a few minutes, we would have gotten the point. Instead we're treated to what feels like a half an hour of boring narration and Chun Li walking around streets.

Most of the time when Chun Li is kicking ass, it's entertaining. The problem is how little it happens. And how boring the rest of the movie is. Whenever we cut to Nash, we just don't care about that storyline. When Chun Li dances, it's un-needed, as is the borderline lesbian scene. The movie just crawls along trying to make its way to an ending you probably don't care about anymore.

When we finally get to the end, Bison starts kicking ass. He is able to punch Gen across a room with little effort, but never does anything you would expect M. Bison to do. He fairs more poorly against Chun Li, while in a very nice suit, but keeps the upper hand until Chun Li performs her epic Kikoken technique, which hurts him way more than it should. And after it's been drilled into our heads that Bison put his soul into his daughter and that's his ONLY weakness, Chun Li kills him by snapping his neck 180 degrees. Thus adding another weakness Bison has, having his neck snapped 180 degrees.

So both Balrog and Bison are killed in this movie, before the tournament even occurs.

The film ends with Gen meeting Chun Li with an ad for the "Street Fighter" tournament, hinting that Bison is behind it even though he was (seemingly?) killed. He mentions that there's a great fighter in Japan they must recruit, "His name is Ryu...something." And the film ends.

So instead of properly making a Street Fighter movie, the filmmakers behind this opted to make a prequel to what the audience would care about. A poor prequel at that, which nobody will like, so we may never get a real/good Street Fighter movie (with Ryu as the main character). I would avoid this in theaters, or giving it money at all. The only reason to give it money would be so there's hope of a sequel about the tournament.


**May be a spoiler or two but probably not**

"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is about a Chinese/American girl who goes from being a gifted concert pianist to Wushu master and savior of Bangkok Thailand's slums. And that is pretty much all that is discernible from a plot that bounces around more than the heroine when she battles bad guys...and girls. The movie's downfall is its attempt to cram too much of everything into a world and story that is a lot more simple.

The film starts off earnestly enough. The sweet tunes of a grand piano gently transport us into an ordinary world that is soon going to come crashing down. And crashing down it does and not in the good 'bashing your opponents face into the pavement' way, but rather in the bland character's, bad acting, convoluted and totally unbelievable story kind of way. Now, before I get into how bad this movie really is I will start with what is good about it. But 'good' certainly does not mean redeemable. The cinematography and camera work are great and truly capture the essence of the places the story takes us. The fight scenes are well-choreographed and well-shot for the most part, which is more than most Hollywood martial arts heavy films can say these days(I am glaring at the insanely hard to follow 'static-cam' of the "Bourne" films and Bond's latest foray into an unwelcoming action-genre).

And that, viewers, is where the goodness of this hack ends. What follows is a lot of over-acting to the point of hilarity, cheap and pointless one-liners, too many implausible scenarios that don't have any basis in anything related to reality. And yes, I know, this is 'Street Fighter' and it is based on a mildly supernatural video game but some of the events that occur in this film are just too over-the-top(Bison 'delivering' baby scene...enough said). The film raises questions we as viewers shouldn't need to ask...and then we never get answers to those questions! Chun-Li and Gen are the films 'strong' points. Bison is nowhere near as imposing as he should be. And even though his Irish(yes, apparently Bison is Irish) parents died just after he was born and he was raised on the streets of Bangkok with nothing but Thai people, adult Bison somehow managed to retain a spot-on Irish accent. Balrog is just plain hokey. Vega (who is supposed to be a Spaniard, but certainly is not in the film) is...well he just is. His character is neither cool nor threatening and not even as arrogant as he is supposed to be. The characters of Nash and Det. Sunee are totally forgettable and as a matter-of-fact totally unbelievable as well. No decent high-ranking detective, like Sunee claims to be, walks around as scantily clad as she does when she's at work.

Oh my God, ladies and gentlemen, I could go on and pick this film apart piece by piece but that would entail me giving away spoilers...and this film has spoiled having only been released yesterday. You wouldn't waste your money on spoiled food would you? I think not, so don't waste it on this tripe.

And for the record I am a fan of the games and I have seen the animes and read the graphic novels. I think I speak for all real fans that we want Ryu and we want Ken. We want their journey from children to brothers to karate street fighting masters. We want their revenge on Akuma and Ryu's scarring bout with Sagat. Simple. Right? No Interpol, no sexy cops, and no Shadaloo (supposed to be Shadow Law btw). You don't need those things to have a great fan pleasing 'Stree Fighter' film do you? I didn't think so. Simple. Simple. Simple. God, I am writer...I should just write the damn thing. It would certainly be better than what has been so far.

Done.


As a big fan of the Street Fighter franchise from it's original conception I had high hopes for this movie. I expected it to provide a cinematic version of what I already knew of the Chun Li persona, and it failed to provide in every way.

First off, Kristen Kreuk as Chun Li. What where they thinking! There are hundreds of highly skilled Asian actors that could have been casted in a better fashion. Bison/Balrog (lol confusing) kept reminding me of the Green Mile, the death sentenced good guy with a heart of gold. Now he is some buffed punchbag, mmm. This leads to the horrible, horrible accents that the actors had when they were talking in an Asian language. Seriously, UGH!.

The story itself was shallow, bad bad special effects. (Spinning Bird Kick in the club scene, are you serious? 20 years ago they were able to make it look better in a video game. 30 years ago they made it look better in a Kung Fu movie, get real.

The story about her revenge on Bison is shallow. She gets her revenge in a way, but it's not satisfying at all.

Top it all off with cheesy one-liner upon one-liner, bad acting, bad casting and you got yourself a turdcake that the entire audience has to take a bite off.

F--, see me after class.


So... I was pretty excited about this movie.. then bad reviews kept me from seeing this movie in theaters. And again, when it came out on DVD. I waited for a month to give it a try. I finally picked it up for free using a coupon and now I regret wasting the gas to pick it up. I was expecting the worst and the movie was worse than even that. The screenplay and the dialogue was so bad that I couldn't help but laugh at it. It was so cheesy that I couldn't even bare it in fast forward.

Here are the worst of the worst parts. Chris Klein tried to put on a serious face to play a bad ass cop only to have it come off as if my 5 year old nephew is pretending to be mad at me....

There was a huge scene where Chun-Li, the heroine, is sobbing and whimpering before she leaves for Thailand (a temporary visit). She goes "I'm leaving everything I know... etc." WHAT THE HELL. Would "the bride" whimper and cry to her friends before she goes off to KILL BILL??? Did I mention the bad screenplay???

For spending her entire life in Hong Kong, Chun Li could not speak Chinese to save her life.

The funniest part was when Chun Li's dad was being dragged away by Bison's Crew. Chun Li's mom comes running out hysterical only to get slapped down to the ground. It looked like a Marlon Wayans hysterical run from "Scary Movie".

The script begs the question.. which idiot producer read the script and green lighted the film? And how desperate were the actors to take the role? I mean I've seen bad.. but this is just nonsensical.


This movie can be described in a few words. The words that come to mind to describe it are as follows: awful, bad, lame, garbage and an insult to martial arts films everywhere and so forth. Where to begin ? lets start with Kristin Kreuk's acting...or lack thereof. Her performance is wooden and 2 dimensional as she conveys NO emotion from her character. Kristin Kreuk's performance in this film reminds people that a person should take acting lessons before doing a movie. If anything this film should of been killed off as its a waste of 90 minutes to watch it. I would give it a 0 for a rating but that would be generous as its not even worth that.

It seems that Michael Clark Duncan and Robin Shou must be hard up for roles if they took this king of a stinker. Don't even bother watching this film as a rental folks, its not worth it and you will regret spending your hard earned $$$ on this garbage. This film should be a major contender for the Razzie Awards. No wonder it bombed at the box office.


Casting was horrible. Chun-Li was my favorite character from the game. Kristin Kreuk does not have her thighs. She never wore the short dress as in the game. She only had her hair in two bobs once in the movie. Chun Li is supposed to have amazing thighs, two bobs, sort of pale, and she is supposed to yell yep-yep while she is fighting. She also had way to many flying fighting moves. With todays technology they could of made her moves glow in every fight. Bison never wore his uniform and did not perform any of his sliding moves. Balrog was horribly casted with Duncan. Vega is supposed to be like 7 feet tall. I am just so mad at this movie I could just beat up the scriptwriter/director and whoever did the casting needs to be shot. The first half of the movie should of been back story and the second half should of been a worldwide tournament. How hard is this? The back of the DVD states "round one fight". This is misleading as hell.


Ever since she was a little girl, Chun-Li's sole ambition in life has been to become a world-class concert pianist. But when her businessman father is unceremoniously whisked away in the middle of the night by a ruthless corporate tycoon bent on ruling the world, Chun-Li agrees to be trained by a martial arts master so she can get her father back and bring the villain's empire crumbling down around him at the same time.

Burdened by kindergarten-level storytelling that makes "Kung Fu Panda" look like stark documentary realism in comparison, "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is a far-from-legendary, barrel-scraping fiasco marked by stock characters, bland performances and rote dialogue.

Heck, even the martial arts sequences fail to generate any genuine excitement or pizazz. Stick to the video game instead. At least you can participate in that one.


I believe the only reason this film was being released was to build up hype for the new Street Fighter IV video game...which gives me little hope that the new Tekken film will be anything close to good. This movie was one of those movies that you watch for about 10 minutes and you're thinking, are they serious??? The acting is horrible, plot is stupid and when you look at the cast before you even see the movie you already know its going to be a bad movie. To name a few, Kristen Kreuk as Chun Li: OK she wasn't that bad in the movie but as a fan of the game, when I think Chun Li I definitely don't think Lana from Smallville. Taboo as Vega: OK I don't know what the hell they were thinking when they mad this casting role because this itself screams box office flop. Chris Klein as Charlie Nash: definitely without a doubt the worst actor in the entire movie. Every time he tried to turn his tough guy attitude on it was way more awkward than intimidating. Robin Shou as Gen: Robin Shou obviously can't say no to any action movie he is offered. Mortal Kombat was enough Robin, stop ruining other classic fighting games turned into movies. And finally Neal McDonough as M. Bison: let me repeat that Neal McDonough as M. Bison???? WHAT?!?!? Neal is nowhere near anything close to resembling Bison's look or attitude.

Did not criticize Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog because I am a fan of his, but the character in my opinion was pointless in this movie. And the only reason I gave this movie a 2 and not a 1 out of 10 is because of Moon Bloodgood. She is such a stunning and beautiful actress and without her appearance on screen, I would have had no recollection of this movie whatsoever after I watched it. She is such an underrated actress and needs to be put out there in way better roles than this piece of crap.

There were many instances in this film that had me go what the hell was that? (For example the spinning bird kick was one of the most awkward things in the movie) and all the acting was beyond laughable. And to put the icing on the cake, the ending where Gen goes, "There's a fighter in Japan. Ryu......something" was the biggest shame this movie could possibly put on a classic video game series. Don't waste your time watching the movie, instead play the video game and you'll get way more joy out of that.


Dude, I can't even begin to describe how awful this movie is. The inconsistent and dull story, ridiculous action scenes, terrible acting, horrid dialog, just...everything.

I don't even want to waste my time writing about this crap. The only thing I can really say is to stay as far away from this as you possibly can. If you have a friend who says: "Hey, let's watch this just for fun," firmly tell him "NO" like he just offered to jerk you off with barbed wire. Of course, that would probably be much more enjoyable than Street Fighter.

Bottom line: this boring little turd of a film will make you want to kill yourself for spending money on it.


It is almost criminal that a director, given the fan base, premise, and interesting character backgrounds/moves in advance to filming can produce such a steaming pile. This man had four aces and traded them away because he didn't understand the basic rules to five card stud.

What the hell was with the story? M. Bison with children? Who the hell wants to see that? Chun li's three minutes of training was almost as much of a joke as casting the dude from American Pie as an interpol agent..

What happened to the tournament.. you know.. the idea behind the game? Even the two mortal kombat movies got that much right. (I know at least the casting director saw those movies because Lou from MK is Gen) Worse, what the hell was with the fighting scenes.. Where is M. Bison's moves from the game, he does slides in the game, not standard martial arts, and where the hell was his Special MOVE? Worse, when do you see M. Bison with a bamboo stick in the game.. NEVER! Why is Vega such a push over.. why are the effects on chun-li's fireball so corny! It didn't look anything like the game, which is a fast-paced single motion fireball of chi and which could've been done aptly with today's cgi.

The only thing worthwhile in this movie is a) the soundtrack (which was fitting), b) the cinematography (which was mostly fitting, good high key lighting, good color combination, fitting aura.. even though the Mise en Scene lacked originality or thought.. docks and guns.. really?) The casting is stupid (nobody looks like they should, or ACTS like they should.) The writing is corny, pretentious, and lacks ANY of the INTERESTING characters from the Street Fighter Game. The directing/editing was brilliantly as talentless as all these other elements. Too many dissolves. Too many pointless scenes. The inciting incident was stupid, as well as the plot.

I could go on forever. To a person who paid 85 dollars to get the Street Fighter Championship and Hyper Edition on Sega Genesis when it first dropped, this movie is not just a disappointment, but a mind-boggling failure.


I don't even know where to begin listing everything that's wrong with this movie. I guess I should start with the fact that Kristen Kreuk is starring in a movie about a martial artist (although wu shu is more of a performance art than a martial art  but that's another story) despite the fact she is utterly incapable of moving gracefully. However, she can't take all of the blame for the poor fighting as the choreography was atrocious (people getting knocked out by being kicked in the leg?) and the multiple interrogations were intrinsically stupid (Chun Li asks question, bad guy resists, Chun Li punches bad guy and bends his arm funny, bad guys tells her everything  all in the course of ten seconds.) But when you put her together with Chris Klein, it creates a void of acting ability that would have made it impossible to buy into the plot if the plot were actually plausible. The only decent performances in the entire movie were by Neil McDonough as Bison and, surprisingly, Moon Bloodgood as a detective  but that's made moot by the fact that the writer has apparently never heard actual humans converse before, so the dialogue wouldn't be worth listening to even if it were delivered well. Plus, Bison's evil plan is to . . . build quality housing and sell it to the rich? He became head of an evil empire for that? Also, he wipes out other crime families to be able to do it and is doing it because he wants a better life for his daughter  if they hadn't repeatedly called him the head of a criminal organization, I might've thought he was just a decent hardworking businessman/superhero.

It seems the entire movie was just filler until they could put the inevitable final confrontation on screen. And when she threw a fireball in that final confrontation, it was probably the worst special effect ever seen in a big-budget movie. The only way I could imagine anyone enjoying this movie is if they appreciate watching has-been actors ham-fist their way through a script that was written by someone with almost no knowledge of Street Fighter over the course of one booze-filled weekend.


Is this movie better than the Street Fighter movie with JCVD? Yes and No...Yes because there was better acting and no because it's 2009 and they still can't seem to get it right. You would think they would of learned to make a better Street Fighter movie by now. It really all comes down to storyline and Ryu Story would make the most sense. It's what the games were based on so why make the movie on a different character? It almost makes me think Hollywood is racist cause the first movie was on Guile( who was played by a french guy)...great casting there...and now this street fighter, Chun-Li is played but Kristen Kreuk...While I really didn't have much of problem with Kristen playing Chun-Li, I think they could of found someone more true to Chun-Li's character. They should of started with Ryu's Story without messing it up and then maybe down the line had the story of Chun-Li. This was bad planning on the studio's part. How can they wish for a sequel when this movie's numbers suck. No one wants to watch another butchered Street Fighter Character's movie. They had a good chance to make something great but they failed. As a true fan of Street Fighter this really makes me sad. Stop making me sad Hollywood.


I actually created an IMDb account just to state how bad this movie was. The bigger Street Fighter fan you are, the more angry you will be at inconsistencies with the film. I knew it would be bad, but this was painful to watch.

I don't consider these spoilers (but will leave the warning on just in case) but more of a vent. These are things you will pick up on and say "wtf?" There are more, but no need to spoil this already bad movie.

1) Vega is an ugly looking Japanese guy instead of a handsome Spainard. 2) Chun-li's dad is not working for Interpol, but Nash is? 3) Gen never performs a fireball in any Alpha or other games...never. 4) Last I recall, Gen is not "old friends" with Bison. 5) There was no point in adding that random hot chick with a non-existent organization.

Regardless, I stand by my summary that this is worse than the first as those actors at least looked much closer to the actual characters and there was much more action. All I could say after watching this was "I waited 15 years for this?!"


One star is being generous.

I can't even express in words how bad this movie was. There is no sense to the plot what-so-ever. Why is her father kept alive? What are those "energy balls" Gen show her? How does she learn to perform such things? Why did I spend 90 minutes watching this terrible film?

This is a RIP OFF. They used the title "street fighter" to attract fans, in order to make money. I really hope the production & publishing cost more than the lame &12 mil it earned (12?? really???).

The worst part of the movie, is the hot detective / "cool" interpool guy plot. Seriously, what are they doing? What are they donating to the movie? Nothing.

Seriously, don't watch this movie. You're better off watching youtube - whatever you'll see there is better than this movie.

And I'm not joking.


This "movie" is dumb. I mean, really, really, really DUMB! The "plot" is so lame I can't even begin to describe it's lameness, the acting sucks like a Volta (especially the cops, God, it still gives me nightmares!), and worst of all - there's hardly any action or fight scenes in the movie at all. The few action scenes that are in there are so bad it's a relief when they're over (usually after 5 seconds), and everything in between is just unbearable to watch. I'd rather be water-boarded than watch this filth again. And one more thing : Justin Marks, if you read this (nothing personal) : STOP WRITING MOVIE SCRIPTS! I swear, if Sony let you ruin Shadow of the Colossus like you did with this movie I will set myself on fire outside your house. Besides, there IS already a king, and his name is Uwe Boll.


In a nutshell - the movie is bad. For example: M.Bison is a Blondie and not even a menacing one - i still wonder who has been hired as the casting director of that crappy movie. I'm talking about Transporter 3 bad. Chris Klein is even more annoying than that red haired chick from T3. From the very first scene you see him you either think he is drunk or in the "zone". This movie is not even worth watching on DVD, let alone on basic cable. To give you an idea how awful it is - i rather watch a movie with Paris Hilton.

plot - bad, screenplay - really bad, acting - contender for all Razzie Awards...overall i'd like to give it 0 out of 10 stars. Unless they get John Woo or Tsui Hark behind the camera don't bother producing another Street Fighter movie.


OK, so it's a movie my friends and I could have made in the backyard. But keeping that in mind, it's fairly good for what it is. It's entertaining in a cheesy sort of way.

You can guess the plot line--a few cops and Steve the Buff Hero set out against an army of "nin-ja!" bent on an evil scheme. Still, it wasn't *all* completely predictable...

In short, the best thing to do with this movie is to get a group of friends together, watch it, and jump in with MST3K-style comments whenever it seems appropriate.

3/10 for the movie, but hey, I had fun.


Basically the storyline is as hackneyed as could be: wealthy exec (Daniel Auteuil) gets caught in the company of a supermodel (Alice Taglioni) who is not his wife (Kristin Scott Thomas). To avoid scandal and the possibility of divorce and losing half his fortune, Auteuil and his lawyer concoct a scheme whereby an innocent bystander (Gad Elmaleh) who happened to be very close when the incriminating pictures were snapped will be paid to pretend that Taglioni is his girlfriend and living with him. Alas this complicates life for Elmaleh, a working-class valet, in his pursuit of his own true love, a struggling book store owner played by Virginie Ledoyen. And Taglioni gets more and more angry at Auteuil for dicking her around, promising to divorce his wife but clearly not wanting to.

This plot could come out of a screwball comedy from the 30s, Three's Company, any number of French or Italian sex farces of the 60s-70s, etc. That alone isn't necessarily a problem, but when you've got a really ordinary, simple storyline you've really got to work to make it interesting -- and alas writer/director Francis Veber doesn't do anything with the material that isn't highly predictable and dull. Auteuil spends much of his time mugging or getting over-the-top angry and becomes more and more of a scumbag as the film goes on - want to guess whether he and Taglioni end up together at the end? Scott Thomas is one-note severe, calculating, nasty - it's clear from the first that she and Auteuil deserve each other. Our lowly valet manages to prove his love for his bookstore owner ideal, the supermodel turns out to be the nicest and most mature person of the whole bunch, those that deserve to be happy are, etc.

There were some nice touches here and there - the valet's father is chronically sick, but the doctor who attends him is even sicker and the father ends up attending to his physician more than the reverse; I kind of liked the jag-off cell phone salesman who is also pursuing Ledoyen, at least at first, he's so over-the-top smarmy. But mostly this was by-the-numbers rom-com, and with a PG-13 rating it doesn't even get to have any sex to speak of - very mild and lacking in juice all around. And what was with the extremely bright, overlit cinematography throughout? It's Paris, not Cannes.

At least it was short.


Part of the joy of sitting down to watch a Francis Veber comedy is that you know that you're about to experience something smart and refreshing to this stultified genre. Veber, after all, is a veritable master of the screwball and romantic comedy, having birthed such modern gems as the original BIRD CAGE, THE TOY, THE DINNER GAME, and THE CLOSET (amongst many others that were sometimes even able to make the transition to American adaptation).

Surprisingly, THE VALET is no such masterwork. What makes this such a surprising development is that THE CLOSET came out only a few years ago, and it can be considered one of Veber's most clever works to date. So why did he go from clever to crap? Who knows.

The real trouble with THE VALET is that it lacks ALL of Veber's classic conventions -- his smarts, his ability to construct realistic characters dealing with absurd situations, and his canny ability to use wordplay in a manner rare to current screwball/romantic comedies (in France, America, or anywhere else). He's also FANTASTIC at comedic development, in really building up the various circumstances that snowball into a torrential storm of humor.

THE VALET, however, played as yet another string in the long ball of yarn that is the rapidly dwindling comedy genre. It felt, well... American. I really was waiting for Julia Roberts or Richard Gere to pop in, or perhaps Rob Schneider would make a clumsy entry, tip his hat, and vacate immediately.

The story was dull at best, the characters were entirely unrealistic, and there was nothing clever about the execution of the paper-thin plot. The worst part of all is that the dynamics of the characters and story never worked or felt truthful. Everything was completely ham-fisted and forced; where was the grace we see in Veber's previous entries? Without giving too much away, let's just say that many a time, you're wondering: "Gee, why would ANYBODY like that annoying, obnoxious, selfish pig of an executive, especially his own rather good-looking wife and a supermodel... who, of course, has an indefatigable heart of gold?" It just didn't make sense, and there were many moments throughout in which you ask yourself similar questions (eg, "Why would he be so obsessed with this mean, callous young woman who obviously cares little about him?").

By the end of the movie, everyone is pretty much on the same side, as they try to battle it out with the Donald Trump-esquire antagonist character. You pretty much know where it's going all along, and the ending comes quite abruptly with little resolution outside of, "And that's the end of THAT chapter." Oh, well. Even Homer sleeps, I suppose.


No spoilers here, because your experience is already spoiled from the moment you begin to watch the film. There can't be an accurate rating for this film because you can't measure a rating that low. This garbage was shot on video and is horrible, horrible, horrible. The acting, if you call it that was beyond painful, more painful than the so called pain that was inflicted on the hapless victims of the piranha. You could do better with your own video camera and friends that would work for free. Very amateur and very lame. Watch only if you must see this travesty for yourself. Rent the original "Piranha" instead. Check please.


Have a good laugh on the Polonia Brothers. As is all of their films, this is a micro budgeted stink fest. This is probably the best I have seen from them though. I admit there is a guilty pleasure for me to watch these films made in PA by these brothers as it makes me feel like anyone can make a movie for $12. Compared to their other flicks, this one is a treat. If you can stand watching really really really bad movies and laugh at them, u might enjoy this. If you like their other stuff this one will look a lot better than most of their movies. No puppets and the fish look pretty decent. Of course it is full of bad acting and plot holes, but hey-it's the Polonia Brothers! Oh and of course there is a casio synth soundtrack so as not to disappoint.


They shouldn't have bothered leaving it open for a sequel. As bad as this was there's no chance in hell of a second movie. Plus, in one scene the agent asks for room and the manager clearly hands him a car key!! A car key, anyone who can't tell that was a car key, needs new glasses. Plus, let's talk about the climax for a moment. It's bad enough our star blindly follows order and kills everyone who wasn't killed by the six monster fish, but after he kills the fish, the Government blows them up. I'm sorry, if the Government can't keep a simple burglary secret, then I can't believe they could get away with making illegal bio-weapons. To future film makers out there. Here's a hint, if you want to make a good movie. One people will watch and want sequels to. Then please, please spend more then a mere 25 grand, I can't stress this enough, spend more then 25 grand. It's impossible to make a good movie with that low of budget. Use this as an example of what not to do.I give this steaming pile of rotting fish the NOOSE as well.


Well, well well. This film has no frills, no polished edges - butsomehow it gets away with it. The acting is a little rough in places. A few strange bits . . . Even the person who knew about the "killer piranhas" still decided to go into the lake. Every victim seemed to put up no struggle, or even made much noise. The "Agent" that was sent to investigate the whole situation wore trainers (sneakers, to any septics who might be reading). The great thing though is that in spite of all these minor niggles, the film really hits the spot. The plot is a bit dodgey, very unlikely but really likable. The only thing that I think lets the film down is there are no characters that you really want to "win the day" and get out alive. The victims don't last long enough for you to like and the reluctant hero is just a bit too reluctant. Very similar to the Piranha series of films in the 70's and 80's. Definitely worth watching.


What the hell were they thinking when they made the awfully thoughtless decision to air this tripe? Almost, if not all the video clips are completely one-sided with an over-hyped, sensationalist narration! Many of the victims are complete dumb-asses who don't have the commons sense to put one pants leg on at a time and the narrator would have you and 75% of the audience (who are no more intelligent than the mindless chimpanzees feature on said reality clip show) believe that these are intelligent people who are victims. Victims? Yeah! Victims of their own stupidity and ignorance!!! These shows are for galactically stupid and the incredibly gullible. Why? Again said narrator would convince you that all these incidents are happening now. How do I know this? Well, the opening line is a dead giveaway! "The world is a dangerous place! Danger is lurking around every corner!" "WHAT THE F*$K?!" Oh that's very entertaining. It's bad enough that local and national news networks scare the sh@# out of us on a daily basis. This show has an agenda. That agenda is from the unholiest of places: A white, wealthy conservative male or Middle American housewife point of view.

You notice almost all the robbers are minorities(preferably violent young black men in ski masks)and all the young people are drunk college jock idiots compulsively on the rampage downtown and are COMING TO GET YOU!!!! The streets are crawling with violent police chases occurring outside your front door and that drunk drivers are again COMING TO GET YOU!!!

Yeah right! "Before you stock up on semi-automatic rifles, put minorities, homeless people, drug addicts, and immigrants into concetration camps, home-school your children, invest in a "panic room" and sign up for the John Birch Society, let me give you moronic fans of George W. Bush, elitist and souless gated communities, socio-economic segregation, deforestation, neofascistic AM-Radio psycho-pundit banter and of this show a friendly bit of advice: "These shows are often never updated. The majority of the clips are over five to seven years old if not older. They are NOT happening now! All right. Not all teenagers and minorities are criminal lunatics attacking everyone from behind the bushes.

Danger is NOT around every turn as these are rare occurrences! This isn't the world outside!!You are more likely to be stuck in traffic or divorced from your spouse then go through what these cheese balls are going through! It also has another agenda for the blue collar Archie Bunker and fat-ass delusional shut-in set: "Turn off the damn TV! get a job, and join humanity. Along with its reality show brethren, these shows should be cancelled...PERMENANTLY!! Get it!! Why? It condones obesity! They use scare tactics and sound bites people to believe that all minorities and teenagers are punks and criminal bastards and to be scared of every person around you!!! That way the viewing audience is terrified of venturing outdoors and will never do so...EVER!!! Except to spend a lot of green at big-box stores like Wal-Mart to get their Plasma screens, a two ton boxes of cookies, and DVD's of horribly acted movies. Thus, the only option is EAT and rot in front of the idiot box. At least that's my theory.

In conclusion, don't ever waste your time viewing this junk! This isn't COPS, COPS makes it work, as it tells the risks that go along with being a police officer! This...er..um.. does not. It'll make you paranoid and thinking the world is about to collapse. These shows are elitist, racist, and viciously one-sided with fear-triggered pro-consumption propaganda! People's misery is not and never, ever should be considered entertainment unless you are... RETARDED!!!


This show is probably one of the worst shows I've seen on the network. I have begun to even avoid its commercials because I still am astonished how its been on TV so long. This show is probably the worst thing I've seen in a decade. When I say bad... I MEAN BAD. The things done are mostly scripted and very repetitive. All there is, is riots and people beating other people up. I just don't understand how this show was even thought about putting it on air, because its just so bad. It's completely ridiculous. Out of 5 stars *****, I don't think I would even give it a star.

At all costs. Avoid this show.


I think it's obvious that no one in his right mind would expect a movie like this to be a masterpiece or anything remotely academic. From the very beginning, it should be clear to anyone that a movie with Paul Naschy and under the English title of "The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Women" is not going to be precisely the kind of horror movie anyone would take seriously. Not because Mr. Naschy cannot be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, I acknowledge him as a Latin horror legend and he has been in some of the finest horror films in Spanish I have seen, such as "Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll", for instance. On the other hand, this multifaceted actor, is also well-known for being in some of the most bizarre and random horror movies throughout the 60s and 70s. With this cute little horror flick, I mistakenly anticipated myself to a little bit of tasteless amusement that in the long run, was going to earn my reverences. If there wasn't any good gore, then at least I would have expected unintentionally humorous results, but sadly, this film fails to deliver the expected elements of entertainment that a horror fan would imagine in a film of this kind.

In "La Noche de Warpugis", Elvira and Genevive, go to the French countryside, with the intention of making some enquiries about a wicked Countess named Wandessa, who lived through the 13th century and who was recognized for devoting herself to Satan, among other things. When the journey is about to come to an end, Elvira's car runs out of gas and the girls finds themselves lost in the middle of the French nowhere with no one else in the area to give them a hand. Luckily, Elvira and Genevive find relief when a mysterious man named Waldemar appears out of the blue, to offer them a place to stay before the night falls. However, Mr. Valdemar is actually a really enchanting little werewolf who lives with his crazy sister hidden inside the house and while he intends to be a normal person with good manners, his ferocious nature forces him to be wild and dangerous to be friends with. As if this wasn't already enough, Countess Wandessa who has been sleeping for centuries, suddenly revives and goes back to her old tricks again, without expecting an equally strong rival like Waldemar, who won't let her get away with the same wicked behavior she once had. In "The Night of the Walpurgis", the werewolf and the vampire women find themselves battling in a dull and banal encounter, in which the viewers are the only ones who actually lose.

Too bad this film was so below my expectations. Like I said before, I expected at least some decent childishness to amuse myself. There's basically no gore whatsoever and the few death scenes, are rather effortless and insipid. Several films with Paul Naschy are well-known for having a little bit of everything, so I supposse I should give a friendly warning to anyone who thinks "La Noche de Walpurgis" is also going to be like this. Honestly, I got so bored watching this film, that in the end, the only reason why I didn't leave it incomplete, it's because I wanted to see if something would save it during the last minutes. Unfortunately, the silly opening sequence is about as good as it gets all the way trough.


this movie is probably one of the most boring pictures I ever saw. it has got nothing to tell, except for the three little stories that are brutally forced into a concept without inspiration, but filled with unusable ideas. oh yeah, Kelly was a genius alright, but this is a perfect example of how geniuses can BEEP the BEEP up. the stories are already known to the general audience, so what I was searching for, was a novelty about them all. I was bitter when I found out Kelly only repeated himself. the story with the clown made me wonder if I washed my feet today... too bad, this truly is a movie to see while washing your feet, so you can do something useful when the torment begins. second part, the 'crime': really stupid and boring, it made me compare the good with the bad, and this seemed to be the ugly. the third part made me realize Kelly repeats himself over and over again, like a little child with a doll or when a kid becomes a teenager. too bad for the whole idea, this movie didn't reach adulthood for me, it should have stayed in Kelly's brain.


This spin from the Daily Show actually originally had another aim- Stephen Colbert wanted to imitate a guy on FOX NEWS known for the "No Spin" Zone. Unfortunatey the idea failed for some basic reasons.

(1) Colbert is obviously a Democrat which shows quite quickly when you watch about 1 or 2 of these shows.

(2) The "No Spin Zone" will attack Democrats & Republicans who do stupid things. Colbert is strictly hands off the Democrats.

(3) The format got worn out very quickly when the Democrats took power, so the humor no longer takes chances or has a edge like when Bush & the Republicans had power.

The word got out quickly as Comedy Central moved this & the Daily show to a less attractive time slot as soon as O'Bama took power. The gig is up, and that is THE WORD on Colbert.


I will NEVER understand how some shows attain massive popularity. I never thought I'd say this, but even the extremely hit-or-miss Daily Show is funnier than this. Both shows have the same sense of ridiculous self-importance, but at least the Daily Show uses an array of different correspondents to add some flavor to the (most lame) comedy. With "The Colbert Report", we're stuck with a single grating character played by Stephen Colbert, and I think the show suffers for it.

In the show, Colbert plays a fictionalized version of himself, which is essentially a parody of ultra-conservative talk-show hosts. As some other reviewers have pointed out, even though this character is meant to be satirical it quickly becomes irritating and one-note. Colbert comes off a lot like the annoying political kid who would always launch into debates in high school.

The jokes are occasionally funny, but the main aspect of this show that I cannot stand is the way Colbert spends the whole time celebrating himself. The studio is always packed to the brim with brainless sycophants who award Colbert's every finger-wag with uproarious applause and laughter. I've always hated sitcoms with laugh tracks, but I think I dislike studio audiences even more. Nothing is more insulting to a viewer's intelligence than to be given cues as to when to react, especially when the people giving the cues are clearly much stupider than the average viewer. With this show, you get the feeling that most of these people are laughing or cheering not because the jokes are funny, but simply because Colbert is playing to their shared discontentment with the Bush administration. This, coupled with the show's snowballing popularity, turns them into bleating sheep who will laugh at anything that comes out of their idol's mouth.

And by the way, since when was it "bold" and "edgy" to say the same bad things about the president that everyone else is saying? If Colbert really wanted to be bold and edgy, he'd launch a show where he seriously supported the president and mocked his detractors. Oh, I'm sorry, they already have a show like that. It's called "The O'Reilly Factor." And while Bill O'Reilly may not always say things that people like, he's certainly more worthy of the mantle of "bold" and "edgy" than the over-hyped and self-important Stephen Colbert.


Never has any show in the entire history of television been as overrated, overpraised, and over-hyped as The Colbert Report. This show does nothing but annoy. The lead character, played by Stephen Colbert, is supposed to be a parody of a conservative newscaster. Unfortunately, Colbert does not so much succeed in mocking such conservatives as he does in becoming as annoying as they are. He is not funny or enlightening or remotely interesting. The media goes on and on about Colbert's talent and intelligence but how much talent and intelligence does it take to play the same character and the same tired comedy bits over and over until we stop watching. That is not talent, that is consistency. And to be consistently annoying does not lead to a long career, even in the fake news game. My roommate and I gave The Colbert Report a fair shot, coming on as it does after The Daily Show, one of our favorite shows. We now turn off The Daily Show early so we don't catch Colbert's promo at the end of it. That's how bad this show is. We can't even stand the promos.


One word to sum up Jubilee would be awful. It was so incredibly flawed. It was a huge waste of time for anyone looking for anything intelligent. The writing was terrible, the acting was even worse, and Jarman's directing was ridiculous. Jack Birkett who played the media mogul was definitely the WORST actor in the entire film and maybe gave one of the worse film acting jobs of all time. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. The three main girls (Jordan, Nell Campbell, and Jenny whatever) were absolutely atrocious actors, I have NO idea why they were chosen. And they were ugly too (except maybe Jenny). Not enjoyable to watch any of them in the least. Adam Ant was okay at best, but ended up being the best actor in this 'movie'.

Jubilee was trying to make some political/social statement making it, but in the end it just ended up as film rubbish. It was so ridiculously stupid it was laughable. There was stupid violence and killing that made no sense within any context.

Also the film had a rather sexist view of women. I felt that it was trying to show what would happen if women end up taking over the world (especially having Elizabeth I (a powerful queen) go forward in time that was 'futuristic' when the movie was made right after the women's rights movement of the 60s). Basically, it would be a terrible world where no one would be able to 'control' the women so therefore they would end up going crazy, killing men, murdering police officers, getting naked at anytime, having sex with anyone, etc etc. Which was not a nice message and I did not appreciate it at all.

I'm annoyed because I am in a 'New European Cinema' Class where we watch movies from 1970s on from Europe, and two of the kids in my class recommended it and my teacher let us watch it without even watching it herself. What a waste of class time, especially because there are so many better English movies, it's atrocious that she wasted our time.

For a reason that I do now know, the last 1/5 of the movie got slightly better, but it was still way below mediocre film making. Basically 'better' means almost bearable. However, the last fifth (the last 20 minutes) and they isn't even good enough to bear watching this awful film.

The premise was an interesting one (Queen of England goes ahead in time to see futuristic times) but Jarman completely failed at making a movie worth anyones time. And there was some listenable music.

Really, it should never have been made, it is a waste of film.


This movie was, quite frankly, crap. Artsy, pretentious crap, to be fair, but crap nevertheless. Only see it if you're into post-apocalyptic films of the worst kind/are a die-hard Rocky Horror fan/ have very low standards. There wasn't much of a plot, and what was there was entirely too hard to follow amidst the seizure-inducing color scheme of the movie and it's poor acting.

If you still wish to see this movie, however, just fast forward to the Brittania dance-sequence. It's totally worth the $3.50 you'll pay renting it from anywhere, and has more poignant acting and plot than any other section of the entire film. And be sure to turn off the movie during the Little Nell smothering sex-scene.


To be honest i expected to see a punk movie. Something in the lines of the movie SLC Punk but with real punks being punks. I'm a huge siouxsie and the banshees fan and was sad that the only scene she was in is where adam ant is watching the TV, and the band pops up for a couple seconds. The only part i liked was the fact that adam ant was in the movie. And the couple seconds of siouxsie and the banshees in a movie. Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way about the movie. Well i gave it a 4 out of 10, sorry. And what is up with the whole going to the "future" and ending up in just England? They could have gone other parts of the world and see other scenes. But i guess it makes sense because it was a low budget movie. well i do recommend SLC Punk if you haven't yet seen it.


The 70's were worthless, a paltry shadow of the 60's, a hangover of a generation. What I got from this film and my moderate modicum of knowledge of punk was that you either became corporate or rebelle and had no cause, ala the punks. I realized the punks embraced dissent in the form of doing nothing, and embracing it. Their rebellion was an embodiment of what they viewed outsiders as. As paradoxical as that sounds it's as though they thought the world and those around them were vile, worthless trash, and took it upon themselves to become that. You can taste the grit of 1977, and it makes you feel dirty. I thought I hated this film, but I think that's the point. It's vile, and digusting, has nothing behind it but some images and scraps of ideology.


JUBILEE was the first film to come from the true British punk rock scene, and has a fascinating cast, but unfortunately this is one of the most boring, pretentious, and ultimately pointless movies I've ever seen. I defy anyone to stay awake through it.


If any other director had as many figures of the time, and the budget to make this, they wouldn't have squandered it quite as effectively as Jarman does here.

The concept sounds excellent. But the execution is appalling. "Acting" of the most embarrassing kind - think grown adults with the skills of 7 year olds. Bad. That's what we're talking about.

This is a shameful film, one that would be forgotten about and rightly dustbinned in favour of thousands more worthy films that I'm unable to find on DVD. It's certainly put me off seeing anything else that Derek Jarman has had a hand in.

I repeat, the apocalyptic concept sounds great, but if it appeals, go and see something better, like Alan Clarke's Stars of the Roller State Disco, or even Logan's Run...


This movie was quite a deception for me.

The dialogues on TV and theater were so much better. It's a hour and a half abusing on jokes about the language (mis-spelling Portuguese) together with a story that is "by all means" absurd and that's all. I know the situations around "Toni" and "Zézé" must be funny and unusual, but the script could have make more sense. But this is a reflex of our problem, here in Portugal: script writers (specially in comedy).

The fantastics Marco Horácio and Maria Rueff were misemployed, reduced to characters with no contents.

The level of humour should have been raised. Didn't happened and these two (good) characters deserve better.


"Filme da Treta" is inspired in a previous work called "Conversa da Treta", which can be translated as "Blather" or "Foolish Talk". In fact it all begun with a radio show (with that name) where two friends, "Toni" and "Zezé", talk about their lives and their neighbourhood (located somewhere in a typical district of Lisbon!). Because of the colloquial and comic language it used to be funny. Then it passed to the stage (kind of a dialog play) and later to a TV-show. As you can see it was a success here in Portugal and the audiences applauded it

Now, the film! "Filme da Treta" is, then, just an adaptation to the movies of this succeeded show, but it was, at least in my point of view, a regression! To be honest it was a disappointment, as I expected a lot more from it. I used to appreciate "Conversa da Treta", but now with the movie it lost all the fun!

The film pretends to be funny using all the clichés and the same kind of language used in the previous shows, but it has no plot at all, and the new characters that were supposed to add something to Toni and Zeze's adventures almost don't appear! It's almost all the movie the characters "Toni" and "Zezé" having the same blather, but this time without fun (excepting a few jokes)! This film doesn't add anything to the previous works; worse, in a certain way it can even spoil some of the work done, because it should have had some evolution in order to keep it interesting and funny!

This film is poor, very poor; I really expected more from it!


To help her college's faltering football team, beautiful Joan Bennett (Nan) must seduce hunky football players into transferring to her school. It's the bright idea of gay friend Joe E. Brown (Yates). Will the young men discover each other? Will Ms. Bennett find true love among them? Will Upton win the "Big Game"?

"Maybe It's Love / Eleven Men and a Girl" is interesting in that it features Bennett and Brown on their way to becoming successful in the "talkies". They aren't there yet - Bennett is unspectacular and Brown's shrieks are more annoying than funny; later, he would successfully refine his comic persona. The best scene is early on, when Bennett and one of her football players topple their canoe, and emerge soaking wet.

*** Maybe It's Love (1930) William A. Wellman ~ Joan Bennett, Joe E. Brown, James Hall


All right first I'll vent my beefs' with the film. Number one the makeup and gore effects were pretty bad, even for a no budget film. Plus there was no suspense, or zombie money shots. Second the soundtrack, which had a couple decent rock tunes, but also featured some really weird out of place techno music during a love scene, that was quite laughable. Number three and maybe this isn't so bad, the film only went barely an hour. Really a three rating is generous, the only good thing I can say is the women looked good, and Tiffany Shepis is always a pleasure to watch. Speaking of Tiffany, she has a lesbian scene in this film, that ends way to soon and shows little. Other then that, this film really should have upped the sleaze factor, as the brief nudity in the film was all it had going for it. Sorry to say skip this one.


Synopsis: Clare (Jackey Hall) and Julie (Andrea Ownbey), the campus snobs of Arkham University, are attempting to seek their own brand of revenge on goth girl Sarah (Ciara Richards) and her friend Allison (Adrianna Eder). When the campus is overrun by zombies, the snobs see a good opportunity to get back at their black-clad enemies. Unfortunately, things may not go as smoothly as Clare & Julie want and they might be the zombies' prey instead. . .

Review: This is about as bad as a zombie flick can get these days. Other than the attractive females that like to take their clothes off, there isn't a single positive element to this stinkfest. It's not funny, it's not scary, it's just horrible. The story, if there is one, makes little sense at all. The script (if there actually was one and it wasn't just a bunch of idiots running around speaking in 90s clichés) is offensively bad, and it's only worsened by sincerely THE worst acting I've ever seen in my life (no exaggeration). I mean, these people make walking look difficult. They make Keanu Reeves look like Laurence Olivier. As the film progresses to the actual 'zombie invasion' (which, strangely, wasn't the first ten minutes when zombies were wandering all over campus), it only gets worse and worse. The direction during 'action' (for lack of a better word) scenes is almost unwatchable. Hell, even during the still shots, the camera-work is pathetic. By the end, it's a grueling experience to get through and I, with my very high tolerance for total crap, barely made it through. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst films I have ever seen and will probably ever see. Avoid at all costs.

Obligatory Zombie Elements:

Cause of Outbreak: The spread of blood of a zombie brought back to the states by some idiot professor. . . or something.

Zombie Characteristics: They're mostly slow, shambling, etc., except for the occasional one with superhuman strength and kung fu abilities.

Zombie Effects: Apparently powdered sugar and ketchup = Zombie faces. Not even remotely terrifying or realistic.

Violence/Gore: There may be quite a bit of zombie violence, but the gore is just ridiculously bad and some of the worst I've ever seen. If strawberry syrup and Fruit Roll-Ups are disgusting gore to you, then this is the film for you.

Sex/Nudity: The film spends the first ten or so minutes acting like softcore porn, but that ends abruptly and the rest of the film is spent mostly clothed.

- - -

Final Verdict: 1/10. Truly, truly painful.

Recommended? I would not wish this curse upon anyone.

-AP3-