After the death of his older rocker brother Dean of overdose, the rebel sixteen year-old David Forrester (Raviv Ullman) becomes bitter and obsessed with death, while grieving his brother. His parents decide to send him to Driftwood, a camp leaded by Captain Kennedy (Diamond Dallas Page) that promises to transform dysfunctional boys in men. David is lodged in the Level 1 and discovers that Captain uses brutality to control and modify the attitudes of the teenagers; further, that he uses the camp with the intention to make money in real state business. When David is haunted by the spirit of the Captain's nephew Jonathan (Connor Ross), who died in the swamp nearby Driftwood, he discovers a dark secret about his mates in Level 1 and the brutal Captain Kennedy.

"Driftwood" has a promising beginning, and the reformatory seems to be a teen version of "Prison Break" with corruption, sadism and brutality. However the plot is so absurd and ridiculous that, associated to the terrible acting, makes this movie completely worthless. Some reviews that give high ratings seem to be fake comments and published only to promote this weak movie and lure the readers. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Driftwood, o Reformatório" ("Driftwood, The Reformatory")


The movie clearly hits home with some people, but for me I'm afraid it missed the mark.

From the outset the acting appeared somewhat B-movie-like. Some characters overacted, the script felt unnatural and some of the lines spouted were just clichés from a phrase book.

The lead guy was OK - his acting was clearly what the producers spent their money on. By no means an Oscar-winning performance, he did grab the spotlight but only really thanks to the quite terrible acting around him.

The story is OK - that's all though, "ok". Not great, not inspiring. Nothing new. I only just made it to the end but constantly wished it could have been forwarded.

Seeing as most people here seemed to enjoy it, I can hardly tell you to stay away but it is in no way shape or form a great movie.


This is a well made beautiful film about the kidnap and torture of women. Its great to look at but I have yet to determine why I should want to watch it. Don't get me wrong it has nothing to do with refined sensibilities, I can enjoy twisted exploitation as well as anyone, but there's simply something wrong.

I think the problem with it is that its rather a dull movie. Terrible things happen to good looking woman...and thats about it. There is some attempt at character, but its not all that interesting. Its as if its trying to be more than the bondage porno it is.

I had been drawn to the film when I had read several articles that mentioned its bad reputation, so when I found a cheap copy I figured I'd give it a try. Perhaps back in 1979 it was something, but today with these jaded eyes its unremarkable. I've seen films of every sort and this one didn't strike as much of anything.

Will you find it offensive? If naked tortured women offends you, or you have stayed in the mainstream in your tastes, you probably will be offended or made uncomfortable, but for anyone else, this is probably going to bore you much more than it will shock or excite you. It has not lived up to its reputation.


...and here's why:

1) The plot is an overlong, unengaging mess

2) The action scenes are generic (mostly shootouts in which it's often hard to tell who's shooting at whom, and special effects-enhanced explosions).

3) The fight scenes are brief and overedited. There is one girl (Grace Yip) that appears to be a better fighter than the three male leads, and where is she during the climactic fight? Nowhere to be seen!

4) 15 years after the "Lucky Stars" series, Eric Tsang is still providing the same kind of lame-brained "comic relief". Isn't it time for this guy to give it a rest?

Two spectacular sky-diving sequences are all I'll remember from this one...and yes, it's easy to see why the very handsome Nicholas Tse has so many female fans.

*1/2 out of 4.


Note: This review contains spoilers, so it's probably best to read this after you've seen the movie.

I stumbled upon Gen-X Cops (1999) while I was watching television on satellite. I read the plot summary, and it sounded interesting. But, unfortunately, after I had finished watching the movie, I was left disappointed. This is a weak and overlong action flick, that is filled with clichés, and it's a movie that seems to be set on autopilot. The movie also seems to take its ridiculous plot seriously, as if we cared.

The movie starts out well: The Hong Kong Police are looking for 10 pounds of nuclear bombs, which has been stolen by an Asian street gang led by Akatora (Tôru Nakamura). At the same time a deal is going down, the Hong Kong police station is bombed.

Inspector Chan (Eric Tsang) is a timid cop who is assigned to hire three teenage recruits, Jack (Nicholas Tse), Match (Stephen Fung) and Alien (Sam Lee), to go undercover and find out who has bombed the police station. The trio agree to go undercover under one condition: Chan must go parachuting.

Gen-X cops starts out well and interesting, but then the movie goes on autopilot- -it turns into a mindless action picture. Central villains are killed off for unexplained reasons, and then, another bad guy enters the picture.

The film is also very weak on character development. Jack, Match, and Alien make an odd resemblance to the Ninja Turtles. They fight together, they make jokes together, and it's amazing the H.K. police managed to choose three recruits, who act like a bunch of kids. At the start of the film, we're meant to believe that the heroes hate the police, yet it is never explained why they've bothered to become recruits. But other than focusing on the three heroes, the film focuses on Inspector Chan, who trades insults with the Inspector To (Moses Chan), who believes he can do better than him.

Chan is a likable character, but even likable characters can face unfortunate demises. It would have been best if Chan were still alive and be able to serve as the comic relief. But Gen-X Cops is so mean spirited, that one wonders why such a lovable character would be killed off in the first place.

Another death scene doesn't make any sense. Consider the scene where the villain faces the three young heroes in a final showdown. I was expecting a big death sequence here and there, but wait- -the fight stops, and the villain allows the heroes to make it out of the building if they can, while the villain stays to die in an explosion.

The action sequences are nothing special or exciting, but confusing. It's difficult at times to know who's doing what to whom, or even why. There's even a final action sequence where the trio unconvincingly try to outrun a nuclear explosion.

Gen-X Cops has an interesting premise, but a very weak execution. We're forced to watch clichés, such as the bad guys realizing that the teens are actually "cops" and the inspector being pulled off the case, and going it alone. Jackie Chan, who produced the film, appears by the near end of the film and steals his scene. Gen-X Cops is such a retread that it's a movie where I realized that I should have fallen asleep through it.


GEN-X COPS (Te Jing Xin Ren Lei)

Aspect ratio: 2.39:1 (Anamorphic)

Sound format: Dolby Digital

Jackie Chan co-produced this routine blockbuster as a showcase for some of Hong Kong's hottest new teen stars, including Nicholas Tse, Stephen Fung, Daniel Wu and comic relief Sam Lee. The convoluted storyline posits Tse, Fung and Lee as a trio of rebellious young cops, recruited as undercover agents by police commander Eric Tsang to investigate the shady business dealings between low-level Triad underling Wu and a Japanese crime lord (Toru Nakamura) who has seized a shipment of deadly explosives for nefarious purposes, prompting a sequence of betrayals and counter-betrayals amongst members of the opposing criminal factions, until events reach an explosive climax during a showdown at the newly-opened Hong Kong Convention Center.

Veteran director Benny Chan (A MOMENT OF ROMANCE, NEW POLICE STORY) marshals proceedings into a cohesive whole, though the movie fizzles badly after a dynamic opening sequence before rallying again somewhere around the halfway mark. The action scenes are staged and executed with all the breathless abandon one expects from HK cinema, but many of them unfold so quickly, it's often difficult to know who's doing what to whom, or even why, and crucial plot points are sometimes lost along the way. Few of the actors emerge with any credit, though Nakamura is admirably solemn as an English-speaking Japanese villain who clings to old-fashioned notions of truth and righteousness in a world where such virtues no longer have currency. The young leads are OK (Wu's transition from beleaguered second-in-command to ruthless hard man is surprisingly convincing), while Tsang spends much of his screen time trading insults with his younger, slicker police counterpart (Moses Chan). Stand-out set-pieces include a breathtaking skydive from the roof of a high-rise building, and the climactic scenes of destruction at the Hong Kong Convention Center, rendered via CGI and miniatures by a US effects team, supervised by Oscar-winner Joe Viskocil (INDEPENDENCE DAY, APOLLO 13).

Sensitive viewers may be irritated by some xenophobic comments directed toward the Japanese villains, and there's a couple of dialogue exchanges which play directly to bigoted attitudes about gay men, but the offence is fleeting, if unnecessary. Ultimately, this big budget fluff - designed to compete with a flood of Hollywood blockbusters dominating the HK box-office - amounts to little more than a feel-good fantasy thriller, as slick and hollow as the very films it seeks to emulate. A huge success on its home turf, the film spawned an inevitable sequel, GEN-Y COPS (2000).

(Cantonese and English dialogue)


This movie totally SUCKED! I was SHOCKED! I rented this movie because Jackie Chan produced it, and I figured I was in for a real action movie, Jackie Chan style. What I got was a load of slop! I kept waiting for the movie to get better and it never did. There are NO Jackie Chan style action sequences. The story is paper thin. The fat, stupid cop named "Chan," is a character for whom the audience is supposed to feel sorry, but you hate him just as much as the characters in the movie do! They are all making fun of him and you have to agree with them! He is not likable. Neither are the Gen X cops! They are just a bunch of punks. I would have liked to have seen at least ONE Jackie Chan style fight scene, but there wasn't any to be found.

At the end of the movie, Jackie Chan makes a cameo as a fisherman. He tells the three young punks, "When I was your age, I was stronger, faster, and better." That line sums up this movie! It is totally true! Not only was Jackie better when he was younger, he still IS better and he is more than twice the age of the stars of this movie! They did not display ANY talent worth watching.

As if that wasn't enough, the plot and dialogue were absolutely awful. This is nothing but cheap, poorly written crap. I hated this movie and I am sorry I rented it. This movie is not up to standard for a Jackie Chan project. Avoid at all costs!


I have seen a lot of poor movies in my time but this movie has to be the worst ever made. Aside from a terrible plot, awful effects, poor acting, and laughable dialogue, the English version of this movie has horrible dubbing. Some characters speak in broken English, some characters are dubbed into English from their various languages (this movie features both Japanese and Chinese actors and dialogue), and the rest of the characters spoke in their own language while English subtitles accompanied their words. If you like to watch movies that don't have any real direction then this movie is for you. Otherwise, there are a lot of better and more complete action movies out there.

Graham Kennedy, Esquire


I cannot believe somebody liked this movie. I bought it on DVD (very cheap, since it was part of a Hong Kong Legends commercial pack) and I never watched it till the end. This movie sucks.

I gave it a 1 since 0 is not possible.

avoid at all cost.


I rented this film tonight because there has always been so much hype surrounding it. Thought I'd give it a try. Here our my thoughts...

Packaging is slick. Sound track is thumping. Actors are all very pretty. Cinematography looks like a big budget action pic.

But man, this flick is skin deep.

Before I proceed, I have to say that I am a big fan of HK cinema. More stuff from the 80's. Chow Yun Fat, Maggie Cheung, Tony Leung stuff. Great stuff. But, unfortunately, this new generation has got a long, long way to go.

The story. It just seemed like they didn't have a script. The film just didn't have a story. And because of that, you just couldn't invest yourself into any characters. If they indeed had a script, that would be even scarier.

Actors. The changing of the guard has truly left a great deal to be desired. You would think with such veteran actors like Chow Yun Fat, Leslie Chung, Tony Leung, etc. that the younger generation of HK actors would have some incredible role models to look up to and learn from. Wow, the actors in this film were very, very green. The older actors in the film were all good...to be expected. But the main cast of young, pretty boys who were prettier than the girls...wow. Somehow I get the sense that the producers must have just picked some pretty boys off the street and said, "hey, you wanna be in a movie?" The only actor who had a grounded, real, and convincing presence in the young cast was Nicholas Tse. You can tell that he works hard at and takes his acting seriously. And the bar to judge is not high. He's the only actor in the entire cast that actually has an emotional connection to his words.

I wanted to love this film. I don't have super high standards. As long as it's real, the actors are truly emotionally invested, and the story compelling, I give it a thumbs up. But man, Gen X Cops is like that car that is totally blinged up on the outside. It's got the body kit, chrome wheels, tinted windows, big ass exhaust...all that cool stuff on the outside. But under the hood is just a lawnmower engine.

I know this movie was a huge hit in asia. I was there when it was playing. I also know that this was meant for a certain audience and it should be seen for what it is...just a simple, slick action pick. I'm not trying to hate on it. But seriously, I felt like I was duped. All they needed to do was find actors who were really good and qualified to act in these roles. Trust me, true charisma and acting chops will outshine just pretty looks every time. Plus, giving a bit of thought into a more thought-provoking story line would be the least they can do.

Hopefully Gen Y Cops will be better. But I'm afraid to rent that after this experience.

C9


James Marshall stars as an ex-crook trying to go straight however this is hard because his criminal record keeps haunting him and ruins his chance for any decent employment, however when he gets his hands on a counterfeit plate, three sets of mobsters come gunning for him. (Such mobsters include Eric Roberts,William Forsythe, Sasha "Kickboxer 2-4" Mitchell,Patrick Kilpatrick, Ice-T and Dennis Hopper) If anything else, Luck Of The Draw answers the burning question of what became of Sasha Mitchell after Step By Step, however that aside, Luck Of The Draw is just terrible. Actually that's not true, Luck Of The Draw has potential to be a truly enjoyable movie but squanders it every chance it gets by giving us James Marhsall, an actor who has zero rapport with the audience. I admit that Eric Roberts and Sasha Mitchell's over the top portrayals of meat-headed hit men have their moments. As does Dennis Hopper. (As expected, he's Dennis Hopper for goodness sake!) but too much screen time is taken on the far less interesting James Marshall and a new love interest. Also wasted is Michael Madsen, who doesn't have that much screen time despite having a a substantial part of the plot. Overall it's just a low budget, underwritten and dull gangster style movie, with a solid B.movie cast that focuses too much time on a really dull leading man. So even though a cast this good promises something epic, it hardly delivers. But that's the luck of the draw, isn't it?

*1/2 out of 4-(Poor)


After being unable to gain employment because of his criminal record, a young man fortune suddenly changes. A suitcase full of counterfeiting equipment worth millions comes into his possession when he literally walks into a shootout. Now the cops, crime boss and hit men are after him. Along the way he falls for a woman whose father is on the crime boss's pay roll. Everybody double-crosses everybody with gratuitous nudity thrown in for good measure. A cast full of top notch actors so it's a shame there's not much there to hold your interest. I saw this after Frank Gorshin passed away. He was a wonderful character actor. In this he gives credible performance as a man too far over his head in debt. Dennis Hopper is his usual bad guy persona as the short-tempered crime boss. Ice T makes an appearance as a rival crime boss. You pretty much can predict what is coming next all the way through the story. Not awful just not that great.


"Luck of the Draw" is a very ordinary B-movie quality not-to-be-taken-seriously action/drama flick. The film includes a hero, a babe, a bunch of heavies, and a couple of T-men who are all involved in various schemes to get a pair of $100 counterfeit plates. The plot is somewhat clumsy and convoluted. The drama is substandard given the film's solid cast of perennial bad guys. The action is little more than a couple of ordinary shootouts. The sexsationalism is virtually nonexistent. The art and technicals are average. The film is not counter fit but is a passable small screen watch for crime flick buffs. (C-)


I took a gamble by renting this one DVD - it certainly had potential, with the good storyline and great actors (Madsen, Hopper).

After 15 minutes however, things really went downhill and it became obvious that this is a total Tarantino ripp-off. The story is very similar to True Romance and the music reminded me of Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction - except that these weren't the original tracks from the 70s :)

It's really a b-grade ganster movie with none of the subtle filming or dialogue we get in Tarantino's movies.

4/10


Although it's clear that "Mr. Vincent" was written for low-budget, Mr. Celestino's ability to get this film in-the-can for $20K is admirable, to say the least. It was gritty, wonderfully photographed, well acted and directed.

Having said that, I'm still trying to understand the level of praise heaped upon this film. Although Celestino's focus on obsessive behavior was clear, it still remains a rather typical story with typical outcomes. Neither of the lead characters was particularly compelling or empathetic. In short, although a great personal accomplishment, "Mr. Vincent" remains a film without anything unique to say.


Things begin to slide precipitously downhill for the young and upwardly mobile Getty's upon recovering a lemming very far from home in the trap under the kitchen sink at their home in a staid and dreary suburbia in Toulouse, France. More imbalance takes place as the husband has his boss and wife over for supper. The wife (Charlotte Rampling) creates a scene and the evening ends badly. She attempts later to seduce Allain Getty then follows this with a very destructive visit to Getty's wife. The Getty marriage now begins to disintegrate. Irrationality ensues, the ugliness increases-very slowly. Eventually we learn how the lemming ended up so far away from home. The end.

Lemming is a slow moving, lifelessly acted "suspense thriller" that is shooting for something higher with the ambiguous presence of the title character. I'm sure it has a variety of symbolic significances that the cahiers crowd could ruminate over for hours. For me though it is a contrived distraction that is unable to save this turgid Chabrol like (I apologize for being redundant.)bore and its cast of zombies.

Looking like a calcified Charles Bronson, Charlotte Rampling is miserable in every way. She's had an impressive late career with powerfully enigmatic performances in such films as Under the Sand and Swimming Pool but she fails to get beyond robotic in Lemming. The rest of Director Dominik Moll's cast barely remains awake. The audience may be more hard pressed to do so. Lemming has a couple of jolting moments but no where near enough to keep it mildly interesting for over two hours. It belongs with the doomed lemming, down the drain.


In 2000, Dominik Moll had introduced us Harry in "With a Friend Like Harry" (2000), a charismatic and mysterious character admirably acted by Sergi Lopez who by wishing Michel's well had managed to break his peaceful household although it was a bit on the edge on a knife. Five years later, he returned to the attack with the long-anticipated "Lemming" starring once again Laurent Lucas. This time it's not one person who is nasty to him but two offbeat people: André Dussollier and Charlotte Rampling. There's a major difference with Moll's previous opus: "Lemming" doesn't match "With a Friend Like Harry"'s brilliance at all because it's too woolly, incoherent to hold water whereas the former work was absolutely clear in its script and didn't present the single mistake in its logical way of thinking.

The movie promises great things but loses steam halfway through. It gets off to a good start with a Chabrolian aura to let the vices of a seemingly well-behaved and respectable upper-class couple show through. Even better, Moll has the capacity to create from a trite situation an ominous atmosphere which makes the viewer feel uncomfortable. Is there anything more trite than a dinner with one's boss? But when Rampling asks Dussollier the following question: "Was it one of your b******?", a feeling of unpleasantness invades the viewer and stays inside him or her until the middle of the film. And an eerie Charlotte Rampling excels in a part which requires ambiguity, mystery. Her motivations towards Lucas and her frail spouse Charlotte Gainsbourg remain undetermined: does she try to put an end to their love life or isn't she prey to madness? And one could also specify that her husband as weird as her tries to make life impossible to Lucas. Perhaps, he try to split them too. Be that as it may, after this memorable evening, the movie takes the way of the fantastic and one figures that we have a first-class movie between one's hands. The making evolutes on the razor's edge, the unusual nature of the movie is slowly and softly hatched, the relationships between the characters become blurred, the strangeness of the situations alarm...

Alas, in the middle of the course, it's downhill and the attention ends up diluting itself in the ins and outs of a convoluted and tortuous story à la David Lynch and the protagonists' psychological drifts remove the flick all charm and all cohesion. Because it wants too much, "Lemming" loses its efficiency and the whole crew loses the plot. Moll's work is also marred by a cosy end which takes the easy way.

If "With a Friend Like Harry" occupies a prominent place in my favorite movies made in 2000, "Lemming" has a prime place in the category of the dashed hopes of 2005. If you are a David Lynch buff, this one has your name on it and for the others: caution!


In Moll's world we let people into our house to yell at us, throw drinks at each other, provoke us, and ultimately commit suicide in our spare room. Then we let their ghost into our bodies to screw up our marriage. OK. Still, it could have been dramatic or entertaining. On the plus side the photography is good and even beautiful in the mountains. On the sort of plus side, there was a thread of tension running through the movie and an atmosphere reminiscent of Todd Haynes's "Safe", though with none of the commitment of that movie. But the story never becomes believable. The relationships are never compelling - none of the depth of character or feeling between people in a movie like Solaris, for example. Consider how much simple human issues like privacy, isolation and irritation add to our sense of the human condition. Then look at the characters of Lemming: any of us would have thrown these people out of our lives after 5 minutes.


It's so easy, isn't it, to use the camera to do whatever you want, even if it is never more than anything else than a shaggy dog story. You can take an actress who's playing a person already dead, and stick her in front of the camera and use somebody else's voice. The bottom line is that the two major events of this film, 1) that Alain would accept Alice's overtures as far as he did, and 2) that they would not only stay in the house but leave the bloody stain on the wall, these two events ruin the film. Up to the first half hour it's great. I have clear ideas how to fix it up, but my ideas don't matter because I don't get to re-film it.


well, I just watched it, and forgive me, but this movie is just some crap work. dominik moll tried to make a thriller, but I guess he still have to learn. the movie's beginning is good, but there is a brutal change in the middle, not explained. then there is a dark sequence going until the goal moment of the movie, which isn't even surrounded, then all is coming back to normality. I waited for an explanation about what happened to Charlotte gainsbourg (the serge gainsbourg & jane birkin's daughter), but nothing. I'm still searching why Charlotte Gainsbourg changed her mind for around 45-60 minutes in the movie. notice the good Charlotte Gainsbourg & Rampling play. In fact, I guess Dominik Moll didn't had any idea about this feeling change, and so didn't explained it. I wasted my time watching this movie.


A film that should be retitled xXx2: Don't Say We Didn't Warn You.

Opening with an impressive first 7-8 minutes, this film moves into cookie cutter territory at a frightening speed and continues to derail any opportunity for the audience to engage in the ridiculous plot or heavily computer generated action sequences.

Ice Cube will never be thanking the academy (he at times look like he would struggle to play himself), but the Razzie committee should be on the lookout for this up and comer, this type of dribble is the cinematic equivalent of being run over repeatedly by a truck with the stereo cranked up to 11.

The first xXx was at least assure of itself, popcorn action with the acknowledgment that it was bang for buck and nothing more. State of The Union takes itself far too seriously with a plot so absurd you swear it was written by a focus group of 13 year old boys after a binge at McDonalds. Action sequences are spaced every ten minutes or so as bookends to move Cube onto the next dilemma, each new sequence becoming further and further detached from reality (the final twenty minutes is utter insanity that makes films like Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle seem like documentaries). A sequence involving a train should be parody material, not a serious plot device.

Samuel L Jackson cashes in his paycheck and plods through the movie looking as though he just read the script and realized what he has got himself involved in. Scott Speedman's looks too immature to play a senior NSA agent and is largely in the film so the white folks don't feel left out. Willem Dafoe typecasts himself as the overacting bad guy yet again and X-Zibit pops in so he can possible audition for the lead in the next sequel xXx3: Turkey Season.

Women are treated as fodder to either slap around or grind up against (sometimes at the same time) all to a soundtrack of nameless rappers inserted at appropriate moments so that the white kids can know what its like to be African American.

My only positive comment on this whole debacle are the cars used in the film, not being a car enthusiast even I had to be quietly impressed by the rides in this film. Also this film is under the 2 hour mark a sign of a film that does know when its wearing out its welcome.

Hopefully with the resoundingly negative response xXx2 has currently received another sequel looks unlikely, as films like this are about as satisfying as a having your nose broken.


I walked out after the first 40 mins. It was just too much to take. I have a very high tolerance for "bad" films(I really dug the first xXx) and have only walked out three time before (Dungeons and Dragons, Bad Company, and The Musketeer). This ego driven piece of garbage was just intolerable. Every time Ice Cube (a man I quite like) mugged for the camera I cringed. And Willem Dafoe is SHAMELESS. After 40mins of excruciating dialogue and NO PLOT I had to leave. I'm sure this movie is about something and there's some cool stunts, I just wasn't about to waste the rest of my evening in hopes that the film got better.

So to be fair I can't really give this a review but I can say that life is short and sometimes we just gotta put our foot down and not take the crap the studios are feeding us. Because this was clearly a movie made on autopilot. Boo!


"xXx2: The Next Level" (Revolution Studios and Columbia Pictures changed the subtitle from "State of the Union" for international territories, for obvious reasons) comes from the director of "Die Another Day," which was terrible; producer Neal H. Moritz, whose last credited project was the dire (and thankfully now-cancelled) "Point Pleasant"; is a sequel to the dreadful "xXx"; and comes equipped with Samuel L. Jackson's stated dislike of making movies with rappers. On this showing, you can't blame him.

Trading in Vin Diesel (his character is written out by someone saying that he got killed in Bora Bora) for Ice Cube is no improvement; not only is he not the most expressive actor, but he's not that convincing in action (when he's being chased by Scott Speedman you just KNOW that Speedman would catch him like that (snaps fingers) in real life). In fairness to Mr. Cube, he's far from the only thing wrong with this; Simon Kinberg's screenplay seems not only to have been aimed at emotionally and intellectually stunted 13-year-olds but written by them as well, with the plot starting idiotically and continuing from there - the villainous Secretary of Defence played by Willem Dafoe is so pantomime villainous that when he makes a speech to Jackson you're surprised he doesn't laugh maniacally.

Suspending disbelief is one thing, but when you have a movie that expects people to believe that tanks can be handled like motorbikes... and which works in such daft plot turns as characters having their deaths faked just so they can be around for the climax (why not just kill them there?)... and that has a finale which depends on a car and a Presidential bullet train being able to fit on the same track despite the car being a compact if speedy sports car... in this case it's just impossible. Admittedly it doesn't help that said scenes are incompetently executed thanks to shockingly bad special effects and shoddy direction; some of the miniatures are glaringly obvious, and I particularly hope that lead effects house Industrial Light and Magic didn't do the CGI bullet train shots. And as for the way some of the shots go from film to what looks like video and back again...

The cast isn't much good either, although it's fun to see Peter Strauss as the President (in spite or because of his not sounding like he believes a word of this); Xzibit not only helps parts of this seem like "Pimp My Ride: The Movie" but he can't act, Dafoe is Special Guest Villain level, and Jackson phones it in. As for the female characters, Nona Gaye and Sunny Mabrey are pretty much defined by their cleavage and by the fact that one's good and the other (the one who looks like a cross between Nicolette Sheridan and Rachel Bilson) isn't. (The movie can't even be laddish properly; for some reason the sexiest woman in the movie (Masuimi Max, who plays Xzibit's girlfriend and who helps out with the robbery of the artillery-carrying cheese truck) isn't listed in the credits.) And the tiresome, crowbarred-in rap numbers don't help, certainly not compared to Marco Beltrami's score. (Ironically, at one point on hearing the female string quartet Bond our hero complains about the music; they are not to blame for the aural wrongs.)

"xXx2: Whatever" is so unexciting and so absurd that despite its stabs at relevance (our hero claims Dafoe is hatching "World War IV"), the only way to get through it is as a laugher; the sight of Ice Cube in a suit and tie (with umbrella!) is funnier than his intentional attempt at comedy later in the same scene. To make it worse, the last scene leaves the door wide open for a third movie... if it does happen, why not cast Scarlett Johansson or Charlotte Church as the new Triple X? It's not like realism is a key factor here.


Released in the Philippines as "xXx: The Next Level", this sequel is definitely more expensive, has more action, has similar number of stunts and has new action lead played by an unlikely actor. But despite the production values, this sequel is definitely not worth your time and money.

Vin Diesel, who made people think that xXx stands for "Xander Cage is eXtremely eXplosive" being the hero of the original, is nowhere to be found which is both a good and bad thing. Diesel can deliver the action and stunts solidly but he's so annoying when it comes to dialog and comedy moments. I always hated the "Think PlayStation!" line.

In the sequel, Samuel L. Jackson's agency gets desperate and decides to hire a new action agent with "more attitude". It turned out to be Ice Cube, a prisoner in the film.

Ice Cube never fits in well with his action-packed role. Compared to Diesel, Cube is never convincing in doing action and stunts. Worse, Cube is very lousy with his dialog and certain moments that demanded comedy. I think Cube is better off with a pure-comedy or pure-hip hop role (be it lead or supporting) but as an action star? NO WAY! I'd rather watch Ice Cube in his old role in Anaconda than this movie! You will end up wishing the producers got back Diesel in the sequel.

Samuel L. Jackson this time gets more screen time although I would prefer they lessened his action scenes and added talking scenes instead. Early in the film, you'll see Jackson dual wield guns ala John Woo (to live up to his position in his agency and survive) but I find his role in the first movie better. Still it's nice to see him get more screen time this time.

Willem Dafoe, who played a Vietnam soldier and a special forces coordinator before, plays the defense secretary who plans to overthrow the government. His presence is very well felt and he delivers a good performance. You will hate him even more in this film than in Spider-Man.

Sunny Mabrey? She is very pretty and very sexy. In short a hot girl but she's nothing more than just eye candy here and she cannot be taken seriously. She should be given some roles that demand performance, not looks.

Lee Tamahori, whose most successful flick was Die Another Day, is the director this time but most noticeable is his increased use of computer graphics. Thanks to him, the film's pace is fast and something always happen on-screen to keep you awake.

xXx story this time is shallower. Conspiracies are supposed to be deep and detailed but this sequel simply skipped all the requirements just to deliver action, explosions, crappy dialog and special effects. The sequel is best viewed as a non-thinking, MTV-styled edited action flick.

Action scenes and special effects are plenty but certain scenes are just too unbelievable to see and accept. I did notice however that the action in the sequel are more military in nature when compared to that of the first film wherein its action is more related to extreme sports.

I don't recommend watching this sequel at all. You are better of skipping it. But if you really want to watch it, better wait for the DVD release instead.


I had no idea what State of the Union was going to be about when I went to see it last weekend. Once inside the movie theater I was told that it is a sequel to the movie XXX. Stunned that I was about to see a Vin Diesel (have nothing personal against him but I found that odds are high that if he is in a movie I won't like it, especially after the dreaded "Man Apart") movie I almost got up to leave. I was reassured, however, that he was not in it. Sitting through the first few minutes I saw names that I liked--Ice Cube and Samuel L. Jackson--and decided to give this one a shot. I didn't see the first XXX. I wish I hadn't seen the sequel. But I did. At the end I was wishing that Vin Diesel would come and save the day by shooting the characters of Willem Dafoe, Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube, the College Boy and the entire biker crew. To say this movie doesn't have a plot would be insulting movies which don't have a plot but at least attempt to have one. A tyrannical Secretary of Defense who wants to kill everyone, starting with the President, in order of succession so he can lead the country? A crew of DC thugs who come to the rescue of the country so they can live in a country where they are "free to jack cars"? This movie has the same effect on a viewers intellect as does junk food on his body. It kills it slowly. And with enough Whoppers and curly fries like this one one could become brain dead. Hollywood really should put warning labels on these prepackaged cookie-cutter action movies "This movie may kill your brain cells!"


Action without brains is actually a genre i have nothing against. As long as the action sequences are well made that is. "xXx: State of the Union" is a fair try in the genre but ultimately falls short.

The plot is as ridiculous as in the first movie. The NSA-agent Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) is once again looking in weird places trying to find a new agent that can break the rules and succeed. This time he finds Darius Stone (Ice Cube) in a military prison. Stone is an ex Navy Seal who will help Gibbons fight off a rogue part of the US Military trying to dispose of the president.

Seriously, no one watches these movies for the plot anyway. So that the plot is ridiculous and cheesy is beside the point. No one watches this for the acting either. So that Ice Cube is not as much an actor as a walking scowl is ALSO beside the point. He does about as good a job as Vin Diesel did anyway. What is NOT beside the point though is the fact that "xXx: State of the Union" employs the same method of action filming as many other Hollywood-movies of late. You know the method: "move the camera exceptionally close and shake it like if the camera-man was a spastic". I know that this is to hide the fact that Ice Cube doesn't know how to fight. Still it's incredibly irritating! Also the lack of logic is too evident at times. Like Ice Cube driving a sports car 360km/h on a train track with his tires torn off... Seriously.

Otherwise this had some potential. The technical quality is great, the movie looks really expensive. It has a lot of fun gadgets and crappy one-liners. And the speed of this movie is absolutely insane. Right from the beginning Lee Tamahori steps on it without ever looking back. So even though i can't say i really enjoyed this movie it was never boring, there is always something happening on screen. But the flaws in mostly the action department as well as the complete lack of logic disturbs the experience. It's still a lot better than the first movie though. I found the first one to be complete garbage, while this is still at least somewhat entertaining at times.

So in the end i think this "James Bond on steroids" will probably attract a lot of 15-yearolds that like when things keep moving and lights keep flashing. People who like to see a plot and at least some traces of logic might want to stay away though. It could have been the brainless action movie of the year, but it desperately needs some better action-directing for that. I rate it 3/10.


I had not seen the first xXx movie when I went to watch this so I basically had no idea what was xxx all about, except for guns and high-speed cars of course. I really wish I hadn't gone to the movies to see this flick, it was really terrible.

For me it was kind of hard to get a grip from the beginning because there was nothing that would have explained who were the main characters and what was their goal and so on. This left the characters really shallow and the dialogue between the characters was something out of a bum disco.

Ice-cube cannot act. Really. He is like a stiff crash test dummy on the screen provided with the fact that he can blurt out some lines. And oh yes, the one-liners. Horrible, I mean the one-liners were probably the worst that I have ever heard, almost ripped my ears off. I don't know how good a rapper Ice cube is but I think it would suit him better than acting. What I can't but wonder is that why Samuel L. Jackson ever agreed to do this film.

And then the aluminium rims. Almost every scene begins with the filming of shiny and bright rims. All in all I think the whole point of the movie was to advertise rims. This film should be buried somewhere along with such films as Battlefield: Earth and Dungeons & Dragons.


Saw a screening of it today,...and probably wished I didn't agree to watch it,.. Anyways, I don't even know where to begin so here goes: Plot/action: The usual cliché plot line that involves government agency coverups, bad blood, and conspiracies to kill the President. I thought the first 'XXX' was OK, but the plot of 'XXX2' is so unoriginal and narrow-minded it makes the first one seem like an epic. The action and stunts aren't even imaginative,.. seems like even money can't buy a good movie because even the fight scenes are uninspiring,..kind of reminds me of Steven Seagal movies where you're even hoping that the main character gets his ass kicked Characters: Ice Cube playing his usual badass self, although the release of this movie is in such close proximity to 'are we there yet?' that it almost seems like him and Vin Diesel (The Pacifier) have teamed up secretly to harm America with such bad movies. Overall, I think that Ice Cube's character lacks the edge of Vin Diesel in the first installment. The other characters in this movie including the main badguy (Willem Dafoe) are cardboard thin leading you to wonder as the movie goes along if the plot development will be just as bad.

Overall Entertainment Value: 4/10,..I feel that the movie would have been better if they eased up on the whole government agency conspiracy aspect and focused more on stunts, which made the first one much more easy to watch


I went to the cinema last night and much to my disgust my friends wanted to watch xxx2. I had tried to talk them out of it by saying it will have no decent acting and/or a very poor storyline. THAT WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! This is by far the worst movie i have ever seen, It sucked and i want 2hours of my life back. The storyline (if thats what you call it) was very, very, very poor. It was a "B" no i would say "C" grade movie with an "A" grade budget. The hero was a fat African American who thought he was Lord Of The Earth and did not even fit the stereotypical action star genre that i had expected. I swear this guy has no self esteem problems, he is so much up himself i laughed my way through the entire movie. I cannot believe the extreme stupidity of this film. As i sit there in the cinema person after person was walking out, not to mention the laughing at of corny and serious lines. I would never recommend this movie and i believe that it would not even be suitable for Midday Television.


Compared to this mind-numbingly awful piece of dreck, the weak first film was a masterpiece. It is genuinely shocking that Hollywood was able to produce a film this utterly inept and mindless. The writing (the screenplay is by Simon Kinberg, who somehow also wrote the excellent "Mr. and Mrs. Smith") and acting are dreadful - not just from non-actors like Ice Cube, but even from Oscar nominees like Willem Dafoe and Samuel L. Jackson. The plot is incomprehensible, and the CGI is so poor that some of the action scenes look like "Tron".

The one redeeming feature is the fact that the film is frequently, unintentionally, laugh-out-loud hilarious. Lines like "I need to speak to this man alive" abound.


If you're thinking of seeing this, stop just a minute. What could you do with the two hours of your life that this is likely to take up? You could write a short story, you could do a drawing, you could father some children or you could remove your own intestines with a rusty spoon. All of these activities would be a lot more worthwhile than seeing xXx 2: State of the union (or :The Next Level if you live in Blighty like me). I went to see this with high hopes that it would be another xXx... A mindless American James Bond Movie just without the class (sorry if i offend anyone by that, but thats is essentially what xXx was). But I was so wrong.The film opened promisingly, showing something that wasn't what it seemed, but despite this being a film about setups and double crosses that was possibly the best plot twist in the whole film. The film rapidly descends into cliché after cliché (the script seems to have been created by entering lots of clichéd lines into a computer and programming it to spit them out randomly). The plot is riddled with holes which leave you wondering what just happened and was it significant, then later on you find out that it wasn't. In terms of acting Ice Cube is brilliant....at saying every line in exactly the same way. The great Samuel L gives an average performance but he could have just telephoned his lines in and it wouldn't really have made much difference. Willem Dafoe give us a generic bad guy performance. Scott Speedman does quite a good job as the investigative NSA agent despite being dangled from a helicopter, but this role is unlikely to get him very far in terms of his career. Lets get down to the important part now. If its an action movie, it needs good and original action sequences right...not if you're working on xXx2. Basically, things go boom and guns go bang, but we're not given anything really new here and there aren't really enough credible action sequences to keep the audience hooked. The train sequence towards the end of the film looks terrible, like something out of a Playstation game. The CGI falls flat on its face making the films action sequences loose credibility. one thing that confused me was who this was aimed at. by having a Black main character and featuring lots of black characters I thought maybe it could be trying to get a larger black audience. But nearly every black character is a stereotype of black 'Gangsta' culture. There is a line where xXx says "I was born looking guilty" but this is lost when the rest of the black characters are portrayed as crooks and thugs... in positive light! what kind of thing is this movie trying to say? I just gave up trying to read into it as I realised, there is nothing to read into, it is a very shallow, badly written, badly acted, badly produced action yarn. So bad in fact that I was actually laughing most of the way through... Best comedy of the year.


I don't mind mindless, escapist entertainment ... in fact, that's why I rented this DVD. Having seen the original XXX, I knew this wouldn't be that great of a movie, but I was counting on the action sequences to pull me through.

Well, apart from the beginning of the movie, XXX:State of the Union was a huge let down from even my small expectations. I guess the budget wasn't high enough for cool, exciting action sequences so they substituted old-school 80s style scenes for most of it, and suffice to say, there's a reason why most action movies don't do that stuff anymore -- it's boring. And since the action sequences are the only reason to watch something like this, and they suck, there's no real reason to give this movie even a moment's consideration.

The plot involves Darius Stone (Ice Cube) replacing Vin Diesel's character as the new, improved xXx and trying to foil a plot against the President of the United States. Darius proceeds to throw people around, impress the ladies, blow stuff up etc etc etc. The basic concept is a hip-hop James Bond, and while it sounds like a cool concept that you couldn't possibly mess up, no, these guys messed it up... its not Ice Cube's fault, he's no actor but I've seen him do better than this if the movie has a script and some direction.


-the plot here which has been stolen from EVERY action movie ever made consists of a planned hit on the president's life or something like that and since no one else can stop the masterminds behind it only XXX can save the day. man with a winning story like that what could possibly go wrong. i mean it's not like the public ever get sick of seeing loud generic movies that wastes everyone's time

-the biggest drawback with this movie is just how unoriginal everything is, there is literally not a single shred of originality in the movie. Every line, every frame, every editing technique, every musical cue, every costume, every joke, and pretty much everything about the movie has been done before and a lot better in other movies but a movie being cliché is bad if it knows how to do it right which this movie doesn't. Ice Cube has no place what so ever in a big budget action movie. watching him fire a gun and try to beat up a person looks so fake and so rehearsed that it makes it impossible to enjoy whatever action scene he's in. plus he doesn't have that tough badass action aura that Schwarzenegger or even Vin Diesel have. When he gives a mean mug to the camera he looks like he's taking a dump rather than looking tough. The movie can also be looked on as promoting an unhealthy stereotype of the goofy white guy that knows nothing because the token comic relief in the movie is a white guy that's always out of whack. Wilem Dafoe needs to fire his agent super fast because the man has played way too many bad guys. He's an amazing actor as he's proved in the past so he should be able to do more than play the villain in some bulls**t PG-13 action movie.

-the first XXX wasn't that good in the first place and this sequel is a lot worse than that. I really hope there isn't another one and judging by how well it did I'm guessing there won't be another one


(r#31)

How can a movie be hyperactive, slick and flashy, yet boring, mind-numbing and comatose at the same time? Well, however Lee Tamahori (you know, the guy who introduced Madonna-techno to the Bond franchise) does it, he does it good: "xXx - squared, muthafucka!" is mindless, meaningless and utterly unenjoyable junk from start to finish.

Ice Cube as an action hero? Hmm, yeah, why not. Maybe for the next sequel, we could get M'onique or Anthony Anderson to star? Cube is one dull guy to root for and the fact that the script is void of anything remotely funny or witty doesn't help.

Samuel L. Jackson and Willem Dafoe? What the hell are they even doing in here? Were they doped up, or did they simply not read the script before signing on? One thought Jackson would have learned something from the first three-letter movie, but no: He's back, and more pointless than ever. Dafoe is a talented actor but this movie gives him absolutely nothing to work with as the "bad guy". A pointless Xzibit thrown in is just icing on the cake (if by "icing" you mean "strong Indian spices" and by "cake" you mean "open wound").

There's no plot worth mentioning and the action blows. Despite a high pace, endless attempts at humour and lots of stereotypes (for instance, all black people are badass rapper-type characters while all the whiteys are stiff senators or gay computer hackers - however did they come up with this stuff? Genius I tell you!), xXx2 manages to, somehow, be less entertaining and even a tad bit worse than its predecessor. How anything could top that Vin Diesel-ridden garbage heap is beyond me. Congratulations Lee Tamahori - you blow chunks!


This has got to be one of the worse action movies I have ever seen. The plot was as predictable as a '70's B-Flick and the actors were given absolutely nothing to work with in regards to plot.

I was especially disappointed with Ice Cubes'(XXX/Darius Stone) over the top "rough neck" performance. I've seen his acting abilities in prior movies, and this role did him no justice.

And I don't know what possessed Samuel L. Jackson (Agent Augustus Gibbons) to be a part of this ridiculous production. An actor of his caliber should be ashamed he ever set foot on the set of this disaster. This under-developed script left its' actors no choice but to perform badly. The characters were so two dimensional and used so many cliché's, I literally had to turn off the movie and return later when I could compose myself.

Even the special effects were sub-standard. I mean, everyone knows when you have a horrible movie, the effects should serve as a happy distraction, but in this movie, they just blended in with the rest of this poorly developed plot. And did you see what XXX's love interest Nona Gaye (Lola Jackson), was wearing? Can somebody say X-Men reject? Funny, through out the entire duration of the move, her outfit never changed. Fascinating.

This movie was hard to watch, but if you're looking for a laugh, take it home. Be sure you have a 6-pack on hand, cause your gonna need it.


This movie was stupid. The plot was nonexistent and the script was primitive and moronic. There is something seriously wrong with Samuel Jackson these days (Snakes on a Plane?). Why he agreed to do another "xXx", I wouldn't know. Vin Diesel must be thanking god that he got out of this. I hope he realizes how lucky he is.

Ice Cube should never be able to be within 100 feet of a camera. He is one of the worst actors I have ever seen. He is a boorish oaf. We get that he likes the girls. No need to cram in unnecessary, crude innuendo. A 4-year old could have played his part better.

The key to watching this movie without getting angry is to not question the plot and only pay attention to the heavy explosions. So, if you decide to watch this movie, turn off your brain.


How could Willem Defoe and Samuel L. Jackson associate themselves with this piece of crap? I have seen better comic books.

The only thing worse than the acting was the clearly improbable plot.

The special effects were laughable.

The acting was stiff and not credible.

The storyline must have been written by a five year old.

It takes far less than ten lines to describe this movie.

Too bad the lowest rating I could assign was a one.

Oh all right, the blonde was kind of hot.

Nonetheless, it took less time to write this screenplay than it did to watch it, even on fast forward.


Hint to all young producers and directors: just because someone is named ice something does not mean he can carry a movie alone or even act. I don't mind Ice Cube, he is just limited and the angry black guy routine can only carry you so far. This a movie that Fred Olen Ray might have even passed on making, hell maybe even Jim Wynorski. If you must watch this movie, then you might not want to invite any new people over just in case of the whole first impression thing. Overall I would suggest that you would be more entertained by playing charades alone.Jump down. Turn around. Eat a bowl of arsenic.Seriously, I think ice might want to be a little more picky, if possible.


1st watched 3/12/2005 - 3 out of 10(Dir-Lee Tamahori): Noisy, unspectacular, cgi-filled action movie. Ice Cube plays a kind of for-hire protector of the good-old United States of America as XXX in this second in the series which started with Vin Diesel in the starring role. Cube is expressionless, for the most part, and the action becomes pretty ridiculous and Bond-like even though we're dealing with too close to home locations like the Capitol building and people being involved like the President of our good-old United States of America. I realize that this isn't the first movie to include these icons of our society in danger, but we never really believe any of this is real and that's the problem here. The acting doesn't capture us and the character's don't either. So the promised action-fest is pretty boring overall. The supporting players just seem to be along for the ride and don't add much even though they include a few talented people like Samuel L. Jackson, Willem Dafoe, and Scott Speedman(who was great in the Underworld movies but is horrible here). I'm sure a lot of money was spent on this one, but overall it really wasn't money worth spent in my opinion.


XXX the sequel is not really like the first film because XXX played by Ice Cube is not a daredevil and doesn't do all those x-game type of stunts with snowboards or motorcycles. Sam Jackson is back as Gibbons. He breaks Darius Stone, now XXX, out of jail in one of the silliest stunts shown on film. Stone hops around the roof top of the prison like a cricket and hangs onto a helicopter to escape. The plot is also so silly. The bad guy is the secretary of Defense and he is plotting to kill the president and everyone who would succeed him at the Stae of the Union address. This would leave the Secretary next in line for Presidency. And he wants to build an army. It is all so implausible.

And the train scene at the end was beyond silly. Stone jumps his car onto subway tracks going over 160 mph. Then stands up and hops onto the back of the train. I guess their wasn't much wind resistance at 160 plus.

FINAL VERDICT: Awful, Vin Diesel is not back which is what was good about the first one. I can't believe a movie with this plot got the green light. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time with this.


Not even great special effects can save this film. It's simply awful.

A special elite force is brought into Washington.

Ice Cube has got such anger in him. His bitterness usurps his part. Yes, he was unjustly put in jail, but get a life already.

Willem DaFoe is up to his old tricks in the role of the villain. The fine acting talents of Peter Strauss are wasted in a role of a good looking president who is looking for world peace in a world of violence. DaFoe, as his adviser, plots his demise. We know what invariably happens, but to give the DaFoe character a military burial in praise of him? For what?

The mild mannered Strauss using the 4 letter word was also quite inappropriate at the moment it was uttered.

Samuel L. Jackson has the thankless role of Cube's mentor. Don't these guys bother to read scripts anymore?


i watched this movie last night. I thought that I was going to be a little bit thrilled like the first XXX movie I saw. Vin Diesel was great, and you could tell he wasn't being a poser either. I mean the stuff ice cube did in this movie was about impossible, especially for the shape he's in. I mean come on he looks like a burnt marshmallow. At least Vin Diesel could actually do a lot of his stunts in the movie. Also the plot was retarded, and there was way to much 3d animation going in the movie, so it looked really awful, and what was with all the corny romance scenes in this movie??? Pathetic. I love action films just as much as the next guy, but this was a high budget piece of crap if you asked me. Now I thought that Fantastic 4 was the worst movie of the year, but I was wrong. THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR!!!!! I just want to say one more thing, Vin Diesel if you ever read this, just answer me why didn't you star in this movie???? It would of been so much better if you did, instead of them having Xander Cage killed off.


The movie was entertaining but there is one scene staged at a reception where a group of girls are playing in the background. I found the music haunting and couldn't get it out of my head for days.

I checked IMDb and found others had asked the same question but found no replies. So for those still searching, here is the answer.

The group is a string quartet called "BOND" consisting of four girls who are real hot, both in looks and talent. They're based in England. Their most recent CD is called "Explosion" and contains the track called "Victory" which is what BOND was playing in the reception scene of the movie. "Explosion" is a dual CD/DVD containing 12 music tracks and 3 videos of the girls so you can get a look at them performing.

I've since bought their DVD of "BOND Live in Concert at the Royal Albert Hall" and it is fantastic. To see their website, do a search on "BONDMUSIC".

The movie's reception scene doesn't do BOND justice. They're a whole lot better than the brief appearance given them.


If the word incredible didn't have such positive connotations, that is the word I would use to describe xXx: State of the Union.

How anyone could possibly take enjoyment out of seeing a movie such as this is beyond me.

It was like the movie was one giant gaping plot hole. The action scenes themselves were so insipidly logic-defying that I got no enjoyment whatsoever from seeing the beautiful explosions. None at all.

While I would like to write this review without spoilers, I could not possible truly explain how bad it was without them.

First, the stereotypical stormtrooper-type henchmen. It would be one thing if they merely missed a lot. But no. These guys barely ever even fired at Ice Cube. When they did, be it shells from one of the ugliest-looking tanks I've ever seen or bullets from a handgun at point-blank range, Ice Cube was able to dodge every last one, even when he was in an APC.

And how did a four-star general get his hands on a little flying robot-thingy ten generations ahead of the NSA? Are they implying that the NSA uses obsolete technology or something?

I guess I should probably address the plot. There's no way that every last one of a four-star general's soldiers could agree to kill the president, let alone without anybody knowing. And of course they couldn't just call the white house and tell them of the plan because they don't know how deep it goes. Well, unless the people higher up actually wanted to kill themselves, it couldn't go any deeper! The dialog was equally horrible. Every last line was a one-liner. From when Ice Cube and that guy on the aircraft carrier exchanged playful banter to when Ice Cube was talking to his girlfriend... I honestly can't describe it. It was really that horrible. And of course the missile from that helicopter went slow enough to give Samuel Jackson ample time to say "Now it's your turn to do the dying".

Oh yeah, how could I forget that tank-jacking scene? There is no way that untrained civilians could sneak up behind a tank, jack it up, and open the hatch with a saw.

Out of all the crappy, unbelievable action movies of 2005, this takes the cake. I'll see Stealth, I'll see The Transporter 2, but THIS is where I draw the line.

In the future, if a movie involves the only hope for America being a small gang of, well, gangsters, against regiments of a general bent on killing the smart, benevolent president, I WILL NOT SEE IT.

If you accidentally pick this one up at the video store instead of that good movie next to it, fast-forward to about an hour into it, watch as Ice Cube uses an aircraft carrier's catapault to launch an APC into a tank, and immediately turn off your TV.


XXX is back, only this time, he's not a bald white extreme sports star turned secret agent. He's now a black ex-convict with only slightly more hair in the form of Ice Cube. But that doesn't stop NSA Agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel Jackson) from recruiting him to stop the country's Secretary of Defense (Willem Dafoe) from plotting a coup against the United States government.

The premise is a non issue here and there's actually very little resembling a plot. Sure, there some whispers about protecting the president but there's nothing too complex here. The script was written by Simon Kinberg and he usually focuses on the action sequences and not the story. For example, he also wrote the screenplay for Mr. and Mrs. Smith and that film was heavy on action, low on story. The action sequences are pretty nice and entertaining to watch. The action is the real reason to watch the movie since everything else is handled poorly. Judging from the user comments, a lot of people took the film too seriously when really this sequel is a harmless movie. Obviously the story and action scenes are highly unrealistic but so what? This movie is clearly stupid and mindless yet still mildly entertaining.

The acting is alright, at least the important characters can act. Ice Cube actually gives a pretty good performance as XXX. He does a better job than Vin Diesel and he shows a lot of charisma in the role as well. Samuel L. Jackson returns as Gibbons and he also gives a good performance. Willem Dafoe gives a decent performance though he isn't given very much screen time. The rest of the supporting actors aren't as good. Xzibit, Nona Gaye and Sunny Mabrey all give awful performances which isn't too surprising but they don't hurt the film.

I actually like Lee Tamahori as a director. He makes his films simple yet still entertaining. Lee did a good job with this film and the action scenes look terrific. However, this is probably his weakest film yet. Despite the action scenes, the film does get a little dull. I wasn't surprised by this and there was really nothing they could have done since the film was 95 minutes long. Before I saw this sequel, I was expecting the worst. To my surprise, the movie turned out to be okay. Sure the dialog is pretty lame and character development is non existent but the movie proved to be harmless and enjoyable. In the end, this sequel is worth a rental as long as your brain is turned off. Rating 5/10


funny, fancy talking, a lot of hair and a background microphone appearing on the screen!

what do you need more? fortunately the movie had a good ending.

not bad at all for lovers of this genre.


Some people may consider the contents of the following commentary to be spoiler content. So here is your warning. This movie proved to me that a movie can be funny but ultimately terrible. It didn't really have much of a point, there was a plot, but there wasn't a point. The characters didn't show much intelligence, which may have been the point. One of them seemed to have an obsession over getting on TV and came to the conclusion that the only way to do this was to rob banks.

A lot of this movie was based on getting girls, and making lots of money. It also portrays racial minorities as stupid and really just bumbling idiots. I guess I can't judge whether or not it is offensive or if it is funny in a satirical sense, since I'm not a racial minority, but it seemed pretty disrespectful.


This effort attempts to be humorous via sheer puerility but fails miserably.

The reason for its failure is at least three-fold:

1) No scriptwriters were employed during this production

2) Actors with ability were deemed entirely unnecessary

3) The advert for the sound man appeared in the "Deaf Times"

It would be an affront to all films ever made (independent or otherwise, and including Gigli) to label this plotless effort as a "film"; this "attempt" is truly dreadful. I shiver when I recall the crass manner of "acting" in this "thing"; please do not make the same mistake I made in watching this.

Waste no money, no time or even bandwidth on this!


I believe this to be the worse movie I've seen in a long time! I can't speak for others out there who enjoy low budget movies but I do NOT. If you don't crack up when someone says something totally pointless or if you just don't like worthless humor then you'd do best in staying away from this movie. In this movie you'll see situations when they "want" you to laugh. But you simply won't. You'll only end up getting annoyed. I Rate this move 1 of 10. Awful is the word!

Don't waste your time, money or anything at all on this piece of "film". It is not worth it. You'll only get disappointed and angry that you wasted those 2hours on this.

Why would you want to waste anything on this movie when there are so many other, MUCH better, movies out there?


Bruce Li stars in a dual role playing Bruce Lee (before he dies) and one of Lee's best friends who battles those responsible for Bruce Lee's death, for reasons unknown the bad guys kidnap Bruce Lee's mistress Betty Teng Pei and Bruce Li kicks but to avenge the matter and make everything okay. The movie is sort of offensive with the premise, however politics aside the movie is just plain dull. Indeed Bruce Li's fight sequences are often shot so we can't see what he's doing. The story makes no sense and the movie doesn't work on any level, even as exploitation. Indeed Bruce Li looks like Bruce Lee and manages to do some impressive moves (though we can't fully enjoy it, as we can't see what's going on) but the movie is lethargically paced, the action badly shot and of course no momentum develops between the action, so what were left with is a boring kung fu movie with better than average production values but nothing worthwhile to watch.

* Out Of 4-(Bad)


I don't blame the lesser denizens of the Hong Kong film industry for trying to make a buck when the biggest breakout sensation of that industry (probably ever) suddenly died and the industry lost its biggest marquee draw. But really, this is a little too much in terms of exploitation. Bruce Lee was a man,not just a celebrity, and his reputation (and his family and friends) deserved better than the bunch of pretenders who wanted to cash in on the tragedy of his death. If someone had tried to exploit the death a friend of Bruce Lee like this, he would have probably punched them in the face.

But if you can get past the ham-handed sanctimonious cheese of the first few minutes, the film isn't all that bad. Some of the fight scenes are obviously a tribute to the source - the "Tiger" fights a giant, a gymnast in a yellow track suit(!) and a whole bunch of familiar looking "gangsters" (I recognized actor/stunt man An Ping from a string of early Shaw Brothers films before he was kicked off a roof top) multiple times, etc. And the final big fight/showdown with "the Big Boss" (yes, that's a Bruce Lee in-joke) actually is pretty good.

The trouble is that the story and the direction and the fight choreography are hopelessly stale and unoriginal and derivative.No one here has access to the larger-than-life qualities Bruce was able to bring to the screen. So having the nerve to compare their efforts to something like "Fists Of Fury" makes the actors and action look even more trivial and 2nd rate than they would on their own. Bruce's presence (and some suitably archetypal skillful scripting) turned his four feature films into epics of adventure, honor, revenge, tragedy and heroism.In contrast, all a film like this is about is the "hero" beating up a bunch of guys.

Penalized a couple of stars for the opening moments which exploit the stock footage of Lee's funeral, but gets those two stars back as a bonus for having an English dub that doesn't make my ears bleed.


I thought that this film from Jess Franco was not a bad film. it is about a man called Raymond Bordier the editor of a newspaper, who uses a castle of a count and countess to preform black masses that look and seem very real. Vogal who is a former priest, and a religious fanatic happens to walk in on one of their Black Masses. He believes that he has saw the real thing, so he decides to exorcize the people taking part. so that he can make them confess that they are under the influence of Satan. To get their confessions he tortures them to death using medieval rites. I though this was quite a good film to watch although i did not find a lot happening in the film.


Director Franco stars as Mathis Vogel. An ex Czech priest who was thrown out of the Church because his methods were to 'severe'. He is also an escapee from a mental asylum who is wanted by German police for crimes against minors. At the time the film takes place he is in Paris, writing sadomasochistic stories for 'The Garter and Dagger'. The editor Raymond Franvel (Pierre Taylou) and his rather sexy secretary Anne (Lina Romay) are involved in staging fake black masses and satanic rituals, it's a hobby I suppose. The loony Vogel is deeply in love with Anne, which I can understand. He rents an apartment across the road from Anne so he can spy on her and her lesbian lover roommate Rose (Lynn Monteil). Vogel overhears a conversation between Raymond and Anne talking about organizing another one of their satanic rituals and believes them to be serious. After torturing the address out of a nightclub prostitute Gina (Carole Riviere), he witnesses one of the rituals in which he believes a girl is murdered, he leaves before the girl reappears on stage unharmed. Vogel then goes around in the name of god torturing and killing the people involved, cleansing their souls in the process, and eventually kidnapping the sexy Anne, who he keeps tied up naked in his house so he can torture her whenever he wants. By this time the police, Inspector Tanner (Olivier Mathot) and his Deputy Malou (Roger Germanes) are hot on his tail, but will they be able to save Anne and put an end to Vogel's twisted ways? Directed, co written and starring Jesus Franco this is pure exploitation trash. Franco fills the screen with so much nudity and sex it becomes tiresome. Just about every female in the film is there just to take her clothes off. Regular sex, orgies, lesbianism, sexual assault and S&M, it's all in here somewhere! Not really much blood or violence, a dove has it's head cut off and Franco stabs and cuts a few people but that's about it. The story is silly and relies on a lot of coincidences and assumption, it doesn't quite work. I couldn't quite help but think that the story was just an excuse to get as many people naked as possible. The ending feels very rushed, almost as if Franco ran out of money or lost interest. The film looks OK, the photography is decent considering it's a Franco film, as are the locations. I liked the music, in particular the main theme. It's certainly better than most of the Franco films I've seen, it's nowhere near as weird, boring, inept or surreal as some. There's a cheap and sleazy feel to it as well. Difficult to recommend, and I didn't really think too much of it.


'Exorcism' is not Jess Franco's best film, but it's certainly not the worst either - which doesn't say much for much of the rest of his oeuvre! From the title, I was expecting this to be a rip-off of The Exorcist, but it's more like Ken Russell's classic nunsploitation flick 'The Devils'. As usual with films like this, there is little plot and the thin plot we do get is rather difficult to follow as most of the film is taken up by sex and torture sequences. Basically, the plot focuses on a priest who takes it upon himself to exorcise demons from a group of people he believes to be possessed. The film starts with a torture sequence involving a couple of naked women, which is well filmed and lead me to believe that this might be a halfway decent flick. However, most of the film is really quite boring; there are plenty of scenes that see naked women strung up, getting tortured but the lack of any real point does get in the way. The film stars the beautiful Lina Romay which is always sure to increase the watchability of any film; and we've also got a surprisingly decent performance from the man himself Jess Franco (under yet another moniker). All that aside, Exorcism isn't a good film, and therefore I don't recommend seeing it!


I just saw the uncut softcore version, from 1974 of this "recommended" horror movie and was amazed how miserable it was. The acting was bad, the english dubbing was the worst I have seen, the gore was unrealistic, and the plot was stupid. The film was just boring from start to end.

If something should be called "Euro-trash" this must be it.

Barely for Franco-fans.


'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' comes as a disappointment from Lindsay Lohan after the very funny 'Freaky Friday' and 'Mean Girls'. Here she plays Mary, naming herself Lola, a girl who leaves New York, the city she loves, and moves to New Jersey with her mother and two little sisters. At her new school she becomes friends with Ella (Alison Pill), mainly because they both like the same rock band, Sid Arthur. Lola is a nice person but lies too much because she wants to be liked. She seems very sure of herself, but we understand that is only on the surface. Since the school is where most of the story takes place we need a villain, another good looking girl named Carla (Mega Fox). Parts of the story involve the bad Sid Arthur breaking up, a last concert they will give in New York and Lola and Ella trying to get in. Carla will be there since her father is the lawyer that represents Sid Arthur. Other parts involve a school play where Lola is cast for the leading role and Carla only for a small supporting role.

I am not sure why this film was made, but I guess to show Lohan dancing, singing, being arrogant, learning her lesson, have a happy ending, do some more dancing and some more singing. It felt more like a Hilary Duff film and I was not surprised to learn the part of Lola was in fact offered to her first. No offense to Duff, but Lohan is a much better actress and has proved that in films with scripts so much more intelligent than this one. This one fits in a line with Duff films like 'A Cinderella Story' or 'Raise Your Voice', films where you can enjoy the good looking lady but nothing else. I hope Lohan's next film will have the wit of a 'Mean Girls' again. I even have hard time believing young teenage girls will enjoy this one. There are some moments for them to be funny I guess, but most of the time it is not. Not for male adults, not for teenage girls.

I like Lindsay Lohan, a lot actually, therefore I was able to finish this film. She does the best she can, basically proving she is too good for material like this. Without her I would have hated this film completely. Since most people will not like Lohan as much as I do I can honestly say you will probably hate this film too.


Lindsay Lohan plays Lola, a hip Greenwich Village teenager who moves to a new school in a Jersey suburb, where she faces Carla Santini, a girl claiming to be the most popular girl at her school, a title that Lola must have no matter what. After trying to nab the lead role in the school play, the competition between the two girls culminates at a sold-out concert by Lola's favorite band that Carla conveniently has tickets to see.

The previews made the film seem boring and for the most part it is. There's not really a story and it's hard to tell what the real intentions of the film are. There were a bunch of little stories but none of them really went anywhere. I know this film is directed towards teenage girls but they deserve better films than this. The movie was just so lame and unfunny. The whole clumsy girl act is really getting old and it wasn't really funny to begin with anyways. They were trying really hard for laughs and it just wasn't working. There were just a few small chuckles and that's it. The only reason why someone should watch this is because of Lindsay Lohan. She actually gives an entertaining performance and she saves the film from being really bad.

Sarah Sugarman does a terrible job at directing. She doesn't have one clear idea for a story, just a bunch of random scenes put together. It was pretty much just Lindsay Lohan running around all over the place. Lohan doesn't really get support from the rest of the cast since they all decide to phone in their performances. The film is also very unrealistic and it sends a bad message out to kids. For example, two thirteen (or fourteen) year old girls wouldn't go to a concert in New York and depend on a scalper to give them tickets. Then they have this scene where the two girls are in the bedroom of Sid Arthur having a pillow fight while there's a party (thrown by a rock star) going on downstairs. It was just completely stupid and unrealistic. The ending is also pretty bad since it randomly ends with Lohan kissing Sam even though they hardly focused on this romantic subplot. This film was just an uneven, unfunny mess. In the end, Lindsay Lohan is the only reason to watch this and it's really just for die hard fans. Rating 3/10


This is the saddest excuse for a film I have ever seen! What a piece of crap! This film has no plot at all. It can't decide if it's about a school play, two girls wanting to meet a rock star, or a teenager overcoming her urge to lie compulsively. I would have been more entertained watching a dog take a dump. This movie is utter garbage and should never see the light of day again. First off, the main character seems to be more of an antagonist than the real antagonist is. How is an audience member supposed to sympathize with a selfish, obsessive, ignorant liar? Lola goes throughout the movie doing nothing but complaining and lying while her only friend puts up with it. Carla, her enemy, is more likable than her. And that's the truth. The romantic interest is barely in the movie at all. It's like "Hey, you were in this movie for like ten minutes, right? What's your name again? Let's end the movie with us kissing". It's was idiotic. This is a comedy that isn't. Please do not waste your time or your money, this film is movie vomit.


This film is the embodiment of everything I hate. Loathe, hate, abhor, detest, and despise. It gives us the perspective of a vapid teenage girl we're supposed to like, pitted against the mean-spiritedness of her even more vapid, less likable, tormentor. An hour and a half of whining and cat-fighting is tidied up at film's end with a gesture as shallow as the fountain into which one of the characters falls. What could have been a good satire turns out to be a warm, fuzzy hug toward every grating detail of spoiled-brat life that should have been its target. The performances are almost uniformly terrible (Lohan should have played the rich snob, for starters), and the film's rock-musical adaptation of PYGMALION (yes, you read that correctly) is one of the more painful things I've ever had to sit through. This is the rare film that can be described as literally headache-inducing. It gives me new appreciation for THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE, which is a bad film, but whose star now looks like a beacon of modesty and talent compared to Lohan in this make-me-a-star-now vehicle. (1/10) (* out of ****) (Grade: F)


How on earth is this film not on the bottom one hundred? it was absolutely terrible. I do not know where to begin. Why would we want to root for Lola? She makes up a name for herself, and is convinced her parents hate her. She gets mad at her parents for not taking her to a concert that reunites a famous band and has really hard to find tickets. She discovers they have sold out tickets, and goes on a HUNGER STRIKE!!! And worst of all, she pretends her Dad is dead, just to get attention! I don't know why she doesn't get on with that Carla girl, they're both brats. The supporting characters look like a way to make it longer, Sam was in it for about five minutes. The animated bits are just weird, and Lola's friend is just ignored for most of the time. Lola hardly ever talks to her. So my advice. Do not watch it. Period.


I watched this after seeing Lindsey Lohan in the better than average "Freaky Friday" and the brilliant "Mean Girls". my expectations were fairly high as i see Lindsey Lohan as the next big thing. But i was disappointed at this film OK, so it's a Disney film, so i couldn't expect a Mean Girls style of humour, or a Solid easy storyline, like that of Freaky Friday. but i at least expected a little more passion in the movie. The storyline was drab and very slim. there wasn't much to go apart from the Lola (Lindsey Lohan) characters dream of being a starlet. The plot was so weak, that absolutely anything could of happen, which isn't really a good thing. The acting, especially from Lindsey, was very amateurish. Linsey's character was so OTT that it looked as though she had ignored the director and decided to improvise her role. Alison Pill's role (Ella) was boring and lifeless, and i could see that she was upstaged by an over excited Lindsey. the sub characters were poorly written, especially the love interest Sam (Eli Marienthal), who is brilliant in "Tucker" and "American Pie", who is wasted and underused and also completely pointless to help push the story forwards. the only saving grace in characters was Adam Garcia as the drunken Rocker Stu. is utterly superb playing a drunken White stripes meets Keith Richards character. he lifts the film at one point. But He can't save this Turkey of a film. I would recommend this film to Lindsey Lohan fan's who like her music more than her acting and 10 year old girls.


I have seen what hell is like, and it's watching this movie. Lindsay Lohan plays Mary. (She calls herself Lola.) Mary is an extreme drama queen. So she is crushed when her Mom moves her from New York City to a suburb. She spends the entire movie trying to compete with mean girl, Carla. First, Mary tries out for the school play and then she tries to get into the final concert of everyone's favorite band, Sidarthur. In the end, Mary gets everything she wants because she is the so-called "protagonist" of the movie. Lohan plays this part amazingly well, mostly because Lohan is a drama-driven slut in real life. That's just my opinion, but I know that a lot of people agree with me. Mary is just about as horrible a role model for young girls as there is. Just as bad as a lot of mean girl antagonists like Carla or Sharpay from High School Musical, if not worse, a lot worse. This is a very bad movie to show your daughters because it gives them horrible impressions about appropriate behavior for girls and it teaches them completely horrendous values about life and getting what you want. Overall, this is the worst family film I have seen in my life.


I wasn't really impressed by this movie; it's pretty much your standard teenage film. The plot revolves around a girl from New York City who moves to somewhere in Jersey and then attempts a new school. She is fan of a band who breaks up and they give a final concert with an after party.

Now without many spoilers I will summon up the plot for you real quick. Desperate to go to the concert she and her friend try all the teenage clichés and so many things we have seen before to get in. She finally meets her idol, the singer of the band and comments him on his alcohol addiction. We can all predict the outcome of the film from a mile away. There is also a subplot with a High School play. Where is trying to get the lead part.

The acting isn't impressive but I have seen worse. Lindsey Lohan played better in Freaky Friday and Mean Girls. Which were also better movies by the way.

In the end this is just another Disney high school movie, where popularity stands central and predictability is inevitable. Some people might enjoy this, but for the majority of the moviegoers this is a major let down. Grade 4/10


I can't imagine why someone didn't remind the people responsible for this film that in order to have a movie, you need a screenplay. The writing was egregiously bad, the story was uncompelling and trite, the direction was lackluster, the editing was atrocious, and although the actors try valiantly none of them come off at all well. Sometimes it's just bad casting - Carol Kane has the ability to lower the overall quality of any film and whoever they cast as that rock star should definitely keep his day job. The snotty popular girl was wooden and looked like a model who just started taking acting classes. Lindsay Lohen, although a talented actress, was dressed like a 9th Avenue hooker and looked about 35 years old.

On the Disney channel they hyped the hell out of this film, featuring the director prominently (who looked like the director Peter Sellars' annoying younger sister). I'm glad she had fun making the film, but instead of making home movies during her shoot she might have paid more attention to the complete and utter mess her film was turning out to be. Parents really resent being dragged to this kind of film, especially when there are films around like Finding Nemo, which are actually entertaining for everyone.


I accidentally happened to see this movie with my daughter and a friend of hers. How horrifying and sad! The two main characters, Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox are supposedly rivals, but they should be friends, as both of them are the most obnoxious brats I have ever seen on film. This movie made my skin crawl, as I sat there watching these grotesque phony girls! The supporting girl characters were a lot nicer and more humble, and whenever the supporting cast was on screen it was a relief. This movie is supposed to contrast the difference between the two brats, but it seems like they just compete against each other to see who is the biggest "Drama Queen" Brat. It has to be the most shallow film about teenagers that has ever been released. Lindsay Lohan is given tons of parental support, and all she does is squirm and complain and then tells her parents that they make HER HIGHNESS uncomfortable! A little sensitivity would have been nice for the millions of children who are living in single-parent homes (or Foster Care) and can only dream of being taken to a concert by either or both parents! It is interesting that all of the Bratty kids in this film are shown as having both parents around to give them support, drive them around, buy them whatever they want, etc. The Megan Fox character has to be the most hateful teenager that I have ever seen on film. Wow! Where did these obnoxious kids come from?? There have been lots of movies about obnoxious kids, but "Drama Queen" really has raised the bar when it comes to movies about spoiled bratty selfish obnoxious kids. The performances of Megan Fox and/or Lindsay Lohan would be perfect for such films as The Omen, The Exorcist, Village of The Damned, or any other film about Demonic Children. At some point during "Drama Queen" you will probably feel sorry for the characters who play the friends of both girls, and their parents. "Drama Queen" is a real dog, and not even Old Yeller could have brought any human feelings or kindness out of Lindsay Lohan or Megan Fox. I give "Drama Queen" ten screeching yelps from the hounds of hell, where "Drama Queen" belongs!


Every time Lohan succeeds in some small way and rolls her eyes to the heavens with that butter-wouldn't-melt look on her freckly face it gets a little bit more like having your toenails removed with rusty forks. Considering her well-documented party girl exploits and devil may care approach to life as a Hollywood actress, it's hard to be convinced by this sugar & spice portrayal of a schoolgirl living out her fantasies clad in increasingly ridiculous getups. The central theme of newby versus evil prom queen was done with much greater irony and considerably more aplomb in Lohan's worryingly similar vehicle 'Mean Girls', and so this reporter urges you to see that instead.

Be warned


I didn't like this movie at all! I mean...it was so UNREAL. As if you would sneak to a concert, see the rock star you love, save his life, your dad and him become best friends, he turns up at a party and returns your a necklace and then you and him get together and become best mates. !. Its like a fairy tale. It's a waste of money - I recommend you watch it or ACTH the trailer before you buy it. The plot was really uninteresting and its meant to be a comedy. I didn't laugh once. I love drama, and Lindsay Lohan is one of my favourite actresses but this movie was really bad. I don't know if it was the director, writer or producer - it's just dull. When you hear the title 'Confessions of a Teengae Drama Queen' you think it must be good as the title sounds really cool. BUT. It was more about Stu and the concert then drama! So it should of been a different title. People say that the book was better. You can read a bit of the book on Amazon. And I agree. A pretty dull movie...


i know, i know, i know that a movie astronomically lame as this is more for fodder along the lines of the torture scene from A Clockwork Orange, but lord help me i couldn't turn away (or the channel). I generally don't believe in the concept of guilty pleasure because i don't think pleasure should ever be the source of guilt (at least in the realm of film). But if ever there was a reason. I didn't enjoy the film, that's what makes it all the more wrong. What can I complain about in this film that i didn't already know would be terrible to begin with. The wretched lecher in me however could turn away from the sheer nubile aura of visceral pleasure. A terrible movie made all the more terrible for my having watched it. This my friend is ground zero for the darkness of every human heart (or perhaps just mine) turn away at all costs and let us pray quickly for a lindsay lohan pornography to at last re-invigorate us with a sense of decency and respectability.

two out of ten, only because i cannot deny......

and god wept....


I expected more of this movie when watching it. Lindsay Lohan is, or more rather was, a pretty decent actress, and there's no doubt she was heading to the top. But this movie was almost unbearable to sit through.

The commercials stated this was about a young girl who's blown her drama way out of proportion, but wanted more than everything to become a star. But clearly when watching this movie, you realize, she's just a spoiled teenager, who wants what she wants, and will do anything to have it that way.

When Elizabeth Cep moves away from her home city, New York, and moves to New Jersey, (Oh, that's a heart breaker...) she has to make up lies for her to make new friends, and impress the other spoiled people of her new school. She's so dramatic, that she has to change her name to Lola, and the movie never explains why that was. This movie leans toward Lola becoming a actress, but then completely turns off that subject, when Lola discovers her favorite band is going to be in New York, and absolutely has to be back for the ultimate concert, dragging her best friend along with her.

This movie completely pulls away from what it was suppose to be about, containing one or two laughs, and a completely preposterous storyline.


What was the point of this movie? To annoy? To inspire? To confuse? to make people stupid? Why did she get into a play, then go to a concert with a friend and meet her idol, then come back and star in the play after some girl told her she wasn't at the after party but she knew she was and so did her friend and then a guy who she had spoken to about twice asked her out or something like that? WHAT???!!! Lindsay Lohan really knows how to confuse and annoy. And what was with her friend following her around all the time crying and saying " oh i can't lie to my parents", but then doing it anyway and being so happy when she got grounded? I understand that I watched this movie my friends and i were very tired, but my god were we all so confused at what the point of it all was.

I really don't understand what this movie was trying to say but i know what it said to me: "you have finally gone insane".


Absolutely awful. I would have given it a "1" but the sole redeeming feature is that it is family safe -- PG rating was probably for the drunkard rock star. Apparently each review is supposed to be 10 lines?? OK, what else can I say. The girl's outfits were very silly. The dual role by Carol Kane was annoying. The story was pitiful. The rockers were lame. Our 3-year old laughed at the destructive parts. I chuckled 3 or 4 times, but it got painful to watch at about minute 20. Is this enough text, I wonder... Nope, still not enough. What on earth is there to say about a lame kids movie? Oh, I know. It did prompt us to rent the My Fair Lady DVD, so that's something good that came out of it.


By the last half hour of the movie, I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I love Lindsay Lohan, and I thought she was great in Freaky Friday, and maybe the reason she annoyed me so much in this movie was the fact that she was TOO good. She really was a drama queen. As for the movie, random fantasy scenes with cartoonish seventies figures and background everywhere was truly irritating. Also, her outfits in the film were so horribly hideous. I suppose this movie was amusing, but still, the word that describes it best is "annoying".


I generally don't berate films here on IMDb that I don't think deserve a thorough bashing. When rating movies I usually take into consideration their genre, audience demographic and such. For example, judging a standard family movie like "Madagascar" against some type of epic adult feature such as "The Godfather" would be ridiculous - different genre, different crowd, different goal as a movie.

But "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" doesn't even stack up against other family films of its kind. It's equally insulting for children and adults alike. On one level it begs to be some type of satirical comment on drama queens and materialism, but that's EXACTLY what the film falls victim to - its lead character, played by the despicable Lindsay Lohan, is a trashy drama queen who apparently spends all her free time lusting after a hunky teen icon. And just knowing about Lohan's drama queen antics in real life makes this character seem just a little bit too realistic. She's supposed to be the heroine of this film, but after five minutes I already hated her. And I'm not a prepossessed Lohan basher - I enjoyed her performance (or, rather, performances) in the Parent Trap remake - but she is just completely irritating here.

The plot line is borderline idiotic and a very generic run-of-the-mill pre-teen flick: a rich brat has to move to a new place and leave all her friends behind, but the twist here - ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? Because it's an absolutely brilliant one - anyway, the twist here is that...get ready for it...she's a DRAMA QUEEN! Haha! Somebody give the screenwriter who came up with this concept a few million, because that's absolutely brilliant. As if any other character in a flick like this isn't already dramatic enough - making the character a drama queen just makes her consistent whining even all the MORE enjoyable! (Not.) I really came away hating this movie. It left me with a bad feeling in my gut. There's something kind of sleazy and insulting about it. It's supposed to appeal to our daughters, but I don't think I'd want any daughter of mine looking up to Lindsay Lohan - especially in a role like THIS - as any type of role model. Maybe it's just me but I feel no sympathy for a character as unlikeable as the one in this movie. Sorry, Ms. Lohan.