This is not the video nastie, but only because it came out in 1994 when they were presumably tired of the whole thing in Britain. It is 75% a rehash of The Boogeyman, and would have been banned for the same reason - whatever that was.

I was initially confused as I thought that Annie (Kelly Galindo) may have been a different Lacey, but she was someone trouble by psychic visions of a boogeyman similar to the one in the first film. Fans will immediately note that they are not the same person.

After seeing a murder in a bathroom, and also seeing the address as well, Annie, her psychiatrist and a para psychology student who greatly resembles the guy on the cheap romance novels and butter commercials, head to the house, and, sure enough, it's the same bathroom. 24 hours later a murder happens just as she described. Of course, we have no idea who this boobilicious woman is or why she was murdered.

Then the movie shift to a rerunning of The Boogeyman story with some extra footage that we did not see in the original. Notably, the boogeyman is shown unlike the original. Sadly, some of the good scenes were cut, but 90% of it is there. Why rerun this film? Did they find the footage in the trash? What was the purpose?

We'll never know and, despite the psychologist telling Annie she is cured, we all know the bogeyman will never die.


Where is the English charm? Why are all of the Engines now American? I watched this movie as I thought it would be a good tribute to Rev.W.Awdrey's life long work. It's not at all. The engines just sound annoying and the plot doesn't work at all. Has Britt Alcroft decided to go behind his back completely. Surely if Awdrey were alive today he would not be impressed at all. I am not a child but I still think that children should be shown a sense of consistency from the TV series. It's a bad film. The Island of Sodor makes no sense. Thomas is a British masterpiece and this film has ruined it. The producers should be ashamed. That's all I have to say.


My wife and I took our 3 year old to see this film and we all enjoyed it. In the age of lots of shoot 'em up and Pokemon "crap" Thomas was refreshing and light. For all those who have slammed this film as being the worst of 2000 I can only imagine that they have no sense of wonder and either don't have kids or don't read to their kids. Take your little ones, leave your synicism at the door and be a kid again. Its o.k. to enjoy a kids film!! :)


Okay, I understand that this is a kid's movie, and that it's intended to simply be fun. However, that's no excuse for the wreck of a screenplay provided by Britt Allcroft. Some day I may be compelled out of sheer obsession to document the many problems with this movie, but the most fundamental flaw is the continued use of the "Shining Time" additions to the Awdry stories. Didi Conn is the only thing shining in Shining Time, created for US TV audiences to stitch together the excellent model railroad Thomas stories. The only thing is, they didn't need to be stitched together, as they stand up just fine on their own in book and video. Worse, the Shining Time portions on TV are excruciating to watch...and now the whole premise is brought to a movie.

Now it seems there's some kind of magic railroad connecting a mythical British island railroad to Shining Time, clearly in the USA. In fact, it must be in Lancaster, PA, USA, because the Strasburg Railroad locomotive #475 makes a few appearances in the movie (in Strasburg and Harrisburg, PA) and I doubt it's ever been across the Atlantic.

Anyway, to make a long and painful story short, there's almost no motivation for any of the characters in this story to do anything at all. Somehow Mr. Conductor (not an Awdry creation) is running out of gold dust, which will somehow make his "universe" fall apart. There's no mention as to why supplies would dwindle to nothing when it's the only thing holding Sodor together - Mr. Conductor is pretty irresponsible if you ask me. He summons his idiot brother who is no help at all, and together they and the rest of the characters stumble on the answer and save the day in a completely underwhelming conclusion.

The gold dust emergency happens to coincide with the apparent return of a diesel engine intent on destroying steam engines. The whole evil-diesel and his predictable sidekick-duo are completely unnecessary and just scare the little kids (like my two-year-old). I assume that the marketing folks needed a few more new characters to work into the merchandising mix because there's no excuse for the plot damage caused by the diesel.

Your kids may enjoy the railroad scenes, but don't watch this movie unless you want your brains to leak out of your head and turn to mush. The models are great, but the acting and writing are ridiculous. Avoid at all costs!!!


My son loves this movie. We rented the DVD and then he saved his own money to buy it. He still loves it 2 years later. Although It is a little bland for adults. Kids eat it up. That is really all I have to say. but they require that this comment be 10 lines long. My point is that all of the comments I read were really negative about the movie. When in fact it served it's primary objective. And the at was to entertain children. I don't think that anyone made the film wanting to get nominated for any awards. They just wanted to entertain children and make some dough in the process. The end. I have met the 10 line minimum. I give it 3 out of 10 stars.


It is stunning that in this day and age of movie tie-ins, that the creators (or better said owners) of the Thomas the Tank Engine franchise couldn't find a better major movie outlet for their goldmine. Face it, if they would have put 2 seconds of thought into this clunker it would have been huge. Basing it on the Shining Time Station theme was the first mistake. Why not have a nice little movie about the Island of Sodor and its engines? Why insult the audience by creating human characters that are DREADFULLY acted? Again, a simple little movie would have made a mint.

It has been 6-7 years since this movie came out and I wonder why another attempt at a Thomas movie hasn't been made. This is the most popular character for children ages 2-6. Parents (like myself) would kill for a decent big screen adaptation to take children to. Seems like somebody is missing the boat here.

As for this movie, it has all been said within the previous comments. The acting by Peter Fonda is downright embarrassing, and the storyline is confusing. More focus should have been put on the engines and less on wooden human characters. It gets a 3 from me because despite all its flaws, my 3 year old loves it, therefore giving daddy a much needed rest from time to time.

Time for another try at a Thomas movie. Anybody up for it?


For those parents who are considering buying this movie, please don't. For those who received as a present, you now know who of your friends wish you to go insane. I am writing this review from the inpatient psychiatric unit after being made to watch this movie by my three year old. On the 453rd time I broke and ran down the street believing I was being chased by Naughy Diesel #10.

This movie in a word...terrible. My wife and I sit in the car during trips and recite the HORRIBLE dialog to each other. It has so many plot holes it is amazing. I am thinking about taking a roll of Kodak super-8 and running between the butt cheeks of a horse with the scoots, and selling as the sequel to this movie, It would surely be less of a piece of crap on film.


My top 10 Problems with this movie...

1 Peter Fonda looked like he was on 'ludes the whole movie... especially when his missing granddaughter turns up and he blurts "lily. i'm so happy to see you". I've never seen a actor emote less.

2 Alec Baldwin. Not that he is bad in this. He seems to be about the only actual actor trying to act. But all I could think of was GlenGary Glen Ross. I was dying for him to scream "YOU THOUGHTLESS LITTLE PIG" to the Lily character. I wonder how far they got into shooting before Alec realized what a major piece of crap he was involved in.

3 Was the Native American driving the train supposed to be some sort of lame joke? You know.. an injun driving an engine. What was he even doing in this movie?

4 The Yahoo Serious brother or cousin or whatever. Simply annoying. Although the "Shell Phone" joke was good.

5 What exactly are the rules about who shrinks and who doesn't when they travel thru the magic railroad. They're definitely not consistent.

6 How exactly did Patch get all that coal to the cave?

7 The engines are barely in this movie at all. And when they are, some speak with a brit accent and others don't. WTF? Plus the engine with the most lines (Diesel 10) isn't even one of the main Thomas and Friends characters.

8 What was Diesel 10 doing there in the first place if he was such a pain in the a..?

9 The opening sequence at Shining Time with the James Taylor-ish music and the juggler was simply lame. At least it was big waving red flag at the beginning of the film alerting me to keep my expectations low.

10 What was with Lily climbing on things? Was it foreshadowing some event that never happened?

11 The whole Gold Dust concept confused the hell out of me. What it's for, where it comes from, all of it... was frustratingly unclear.

Well I could go on and on. I'm not going to cheap out at this point and say "but my kid liked it" like everyone else. Yeah, he'll sit and watch it. But he'd sit and watch just about anything that had Thomas in it and it is a shame that they totally squandered an opportunity to make a decent feature movie with some beloved characters. Too bad.


... you watch this movie and wonder why the Thomas universe was screwed up so much by it! In short, the film is good enough to keep my kids riveted. They, who are already fans of Thomas, took the movie in stride. All they really cared about was watching the trains.

However, there are other aspects to the film that ruin it completely, and pretty much separate it from the rest of the Thomas universe. As far as I've seen, Diesel 10 was never really evil before now (or afterwards, I'm not to sharp on the whole Thomas Chronology). The whole magical connection and making Sodor some quasi-hidden land of magic trains comes completely out of left field.

The saving graces are the models and sets used for the models, as detailed and wonderful as ever. On the acting side, Baldwin makes up for Peter Fonda, who's acting makes me think that he's coming off of a bad trip, frankly.

What counts, in the end though, is that the kids enjoyed it. let's face it, they aren't as nit-picky as we are!


I took my two girls to see this yesterday, and I was very disappointed. The trains have little to do with the (confused and disjointed) plot of the film, they give what can best be described as extended cameo appearances, which presumably are meant to prop up the wooded acting performances (of all but Didi Conn). The film seems to have been edited at random, several plot lines just suddenly disappear. The children just about enjoyed it, but not as much as they usually enjoy a childrens' film.


I am a mother of two boys aged 6 and 2. Both my son's are avid Thomas the Tank Engine fans and we purchased this film about 4 years ago when the oldest hit the 'Thomas is everything' stage. We watched the film a few times and he seemed to be hooked. At one point the film was getting played twice, every evening in my house. It is now having the same effect on my youngest son, who is also an avid Thomas fan. We all love this film and enjoy it every time it is played. It has a real warm, feel good effect and we will never bore of it. The way the film makers have managed to mix the real life with the animation of the trains is excellent and having the trains speak themselves is brilliant too. We love Thomas the Tank Engine and we love this film too.


We rented this movie for my brother and sister, who are just CRAZY about Thomas. I personally liked it, considering my age (almost 16), and the kids loved it. Mara Wilson's character is wonderful, and so is Michael E. Rodger's character, a carefree guy who just wants to hang out at the beach. I love his accent. He's so adorable!!!! They didn't make a sequel, which is good because the story just sort of wraps up at the end. I do hope they make more movies about Thomas and his friends, since it was a wonderful TV show, and the spin off is great too. For kids, anyway. But teenagers and adults alike will also enjoy this movie. I recommend it for parents with young children, or for teenagers babysitting young kids that want a movie to watch. Go rent or buy it if you can!


I'm 12, but I really like this movie I don't see why everyone hates it so! It even has my favorite actress in it, Mara Wilson! Anyone who hates this movie is mad mad mad! I think they are even hinting at another movie! 'Cause on the web site, they said,"No one knows where Diesel 10 is, but you can be sure he is up to no good!" Ha! How do you like that,you non-Thomas and the Magic Railroad fans, you!!!! Ha! Ha Ha Ha! I love Thomas!!!! Wha ha ha! Tee hee hee! Ah, I have calmed down. I was pretty annoyed when I saw all those bad reviews, so it took me a little to calm down, as you can see by how my writing has changed from angry to nice and calm. Anyway, good movie! I give it 8! :D


Both my 8 year-old daughter and 2 year-old son, esp. the latter, absolutely love this movie. I enjoy the TV shows, but I really thought this movie was very poorly done. The acting by the kid who plays Patch, and by Peter Fonda, is particularly poor. I know Fonda's character was supposed to be depressed, but his subdued monotone delivery was just horrible. And I agree with the comment that someone posted on the message board that the continuity between scenes is just terrible. It seems as though the movie had the scenes made individually, then cut them up and pasted them almost in random order. This movie has the worst flow to it of any that I can remember. Much of the dialogue and sequencing of the action simply makes no sense. A pitifully bad movie.

Fortunately, the plot and acting don't seem nearly as important to kids. They just like that there are tank engines in it, and they like the colorful set pieces and the music. So despite its many flaws, I still must reluctantly recommend it for younger children, who clearly love it - just be forewarned that as an adult you may have a very difficult time sitting through it over and over again, even if you are a kid at heart like myself.


I was brought up on the Thomas books - the original ones. Wilbert Awdry's stories had a whimsical charm and a warm, moral heart to them, and evoked all the very best of an England which almost existed once. It is amazing that it took so long before they were adapted to another medium and merchandised.

When the first TV series came out I thought it was a marvellous adaptation of those books, complete with Ringo Starr's lugubrious narration. The later TV adaptations, coming into being alongside Christopher Awdry's extension of the book series, wandered somewhat further afield from the feel of the originals, but were still recognisably on-model even though I am aware that Wilbert became somewhat frosty towards Britt Allcroft for deviating from his vision.

It was pleasing that this piece of Englishness appealed to US audiences. It was less pleasing that it required to be adulterated via the Shiny Time halfway house for US audiences - I'm sure they could have coped with it as it was.

And it is not pleasing at all to see this piece of garbage from Ms Allcroft. It is, in every respect, a travesty - a betrayal of trust on the grandest scale. I am only glad that Wilbert Awdry is not alive to see what has been done to his delightful creations, and I cannot imagine what his poor family feel.

Still, I imagine the loot consoles Ms Allcroft. How gratifying that the thing bombed at the box office.


I've loved Thomas since I was a kid and I don't know why the movie gets a bad reputation. The music and Peter Fonda's acting are worthy of an Academy Award. But there are some flaws. First of all how does Thomas get to the coal car? There's only one track! And second where is everyone? The island looks like the rapture happened everyone's disappeared. Many of the characters: Edward, Duck, Mavis, Donold, Douglas, the narrow gauge engines etc. are absent!

So as I said, good but flawed. I still don't understand why so many people hated this movie. It is and will always be a childhood favorite that I will pass on to my children.


Not the worst film I have ever seen ("The Fourth Kind" is the current champion in that particular category), but considering the charm of the series I must ask "what in Sodor were these film makers thinking?" The idea of a human being able to interact with the trains and people of Sodor has some appeal; sadly that - and watching Alec Baldwin having a ball and Peter Fonda attempting to "keep it real, man" - is the only high point in this film. I had to wonder what sort of medications were being abused by the scriptwriters, or perhaps they never mentally left the psychedelic sixties. Fans of the Thomas series will want to fast-forward through the live action sequences (which truly never match the Sodor world) to get to the train sequences. It is almost like watching two different movies at the same time, but spliced onto one reel. Seriously, the only real way to enjoy this film fully is to turn the sound off and make up your own dialogue as you go along. Better yet, forget this film and just go with the other Thomas offerings.


at least i thought so.it's a magical fantasy adventure which for about 86 minutes should make you forget about you problems.and most kids should eat it up.there's certainly nothing objectionable here.while i was viewing it,it kept m,y attention and sort of brought me back to the days when i was a kid.this show wasn't around back then of course.all we had were Saturday morning cartoons.but if you try and view this with a child's perspective,you might appreciate it more.and if you do drift off,at least the young ones are watching something that won't pollute their minds.for entertainment aimed at children,you really can't go wrong with this movie.from that perspective,it's a 10/10


My brother used to love Thomas when he was younger, and he is 3 years younger than me. This movie came out when he was 5, and I saw it for the first time in years, and I wish I never did. It was a totally embarrassing experience. The first problem was that it was too americanised. Mara Wilson? Peter Fonda? Alec Baldwin? These are three really good actors, and they were completely wasted in this movie. Remember, Thomas is British, so the casting was clumsy. The script was terrible, full of too many clichés, and awful one-liners. There was an attempt to liven it up, but it was no use. The damage had already been done. The only other movie I can think of, that has a truly bad script, is "Addams Family Reunion". After seeing this, I have changed my mind about which deserves a Razzie for Worst Screenplay. This one bites the dust. Although there weren't many songs, the songs I heard were just ghastly. Just pop wannabes improvising a tune that didn't suit the film at all. Lastly, the story was totally uninspired, and almost all of it was about humans. Only a segment was about trains. This movie was a huge embarrassment for me. Avoid! 2/10. Bethany Cox


Thomas the Tank Engine has sentimental value to me. I watched it all the time as a kid, and the stories just entranced me in such a way. Especially the older episodes. The older episodes...was storytelling at its best. As the show went on, it withered and lost its depth. But it never came to this.

Thomas & the Magic Railroad is a full-length film that is a complete disgrace to Thomas. The focus is not on the trains, but on the conductors (who don't even move in the series), and features a villain, which the original Thomas series never had.

The story is really terrible. It features magic in it, which was not part of the original Thomas, and all the voice acting is so bad. Diesel 10 is the closest to the original Thomas tapes, but all other performances are so bad. They used to be narrated by one person, and in this one, each one has a different voice actor. Other performances are bad as well.

I really can't begin to describe how shameful this film is compared to the original Thomas. As a stand-alone movie, not connected to the show, it still stinks, but man...it kills Thomas in a way I've never seen before. 0.1/10.


OK, so the acting isn't great. The script is poor. The special effects are terrible, but this is a film for kids. Adults can't make accurate comments on this, because we KNOW engines don't talk and shiny time isn't real.

My 3yr old acts out scenes from this film over and over again. He tells me that lady carries magic and diesel 10 is bad. And therein lies the beauty of this film. It captures a child's imagination. If you want to watch a masterpiece then don't watch an adaptation of a child's book, that 20 years ago you would have loved. Diesel 10 is a great villain, he's funny and evil at the same time, and there are enough engines and "in jokes" to keep most children amused for hours.


My middle son and I watched this film over and over and over when he was about 3. Sure, it is cheesy, and some of the dialog borders on the bizarre. But talking on a shell phone? A tiny Alec Baldwin? Great stuff. Of all the entertainment directed at kids, this is some of the more gentle and least commercial I have come across.

This was my son's favorite, and you have to love films that are part of your kids' lives. For that, hate me, but I give it ten stars.

Granted, when doing the movie, the writer and the directors were facing some challenges. You are adopting a movie based on a popular toy and a really low budget TV show. Add to that, it is about talking trains. Hey, you make a movie about talking trains.


Several years ago I bought a Thomas the Tank Engine coloring book for my son. Each page was a scene in a story of some kind, but the "plot" was bizarre and inscrutable -- something to do with gold dust and diesel engines and parallel universes. I recall showing it to my Mom and we both wondered whether the coloring book guys had been chewing peyote that day.

And then I saw this execrable film, and it all became clear. The coloring book was based on the plot of this movie -- and the screenplay for "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" indisputably was written under the influence of mind-altering substances.

And it isn't JUST that the plot makes no sense. There's also the acting, which is horrible even by the standards of children's movies. Peter Fonda (!) wanders through the film in a kind of drooling stupor. He's supposed to be depressed, but to me he seems more like the victim of a brain injury, or perhaps a massive overdose of Thorazine.

In fact, it may well be that the director secretly dosed Fonda, and the rest of the cast, with some kind of high-powered anti-psychotic medication during filming. Any normal person would, after all, need massive pharmacological intervention to keep from crying tears of laughter at the horrible, stilted lines the characters are required to speak.

Did I mention that the plot makes no sense at all?

Meanwhile, here's one idle observation for the good engines of Sodor: If an evil diesel engine with a crane on top (!) is out to ruin your magic parallel universe (!!) and destroy you, just STAY A FEW TRACKS AWAY. The crane only reaches so far, and it's not like he can drive off the track to get you. Or maybe your friend the conductor could, I don't know, maybe THROW A FREAKIN' SWITCH once in a while. Seriously, I can see how the Killdozer, or an evil car like Stephen King's Christine, could make some real trouble, but how tough can it be to avoid an evil TRAIN?

Speaking of the conductor, let me just say this about Alec Baldwin's work in this film: It made me wish that the Canadians really had bombed the Baldwin brothers. (If you don't get that reference, run, don't walk, to the video store and rent "South Park: The Movie.")

In sum, I would place this film among the top three "Worst Movies That, Luckily, Most People Have Never Seen." The other winners:

(1) Showgirls (2) The Norseman

They should put all three of these movies on a DVD and force the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to watch them. The heck with the Geneva Convention.


We bought this disaster movie on video for our daughter when she was only two and "into" Thomas and Co. She loved it. It was frequently the only thing that would send her to sleep. After watching it about ten times, or more, it began to become something you could not tear yourself away from. It's hypnotic. It got to the point where we could recite the script to each other to relieve the monotony of long car journeys. It's almost like watching a car crash. You know you shouldn't watch, but you can't help it. One time we had a family party, had too much to drink and put the video on again. It was hilarious! My daughter is now eight, and thankfully hasn't seen it for a while. By the way, our son (who is a BIG fan of Thomas) hates it. Go figure!


I'm a 14 year old and I still love this movie! why? Because Thomas the Tank engine has been a part of my youth since I was a baby! And since I like trains naturally, this was perfect.

One thing I liked was the plot, An evil Diesel with a giant claw who's trying to find a magic engine so he can destroy all steam engines. Short, sweet, and to the point! Not that complicated! unlike some movies *Cough* LordoftheRings! *Cough* Another thing was the change from small little action figures to actual humans! And I got a feeling of nostalgia when I saw they kept the same woman from the Shining Time Station series.

Also, It's a nice change to see someone who's a true..."Villain" In the Thomas Series. Overall, this is a great movie for kids, and teens who are looking to relive some happy memories of their youth.


This is one of the best movies that I have seen. They did a great job of putting the stories of Shining Time Station, and Thomas The Tank Engine together. Mara Wilson, Alec Baldwin, Didi Conn, Britt Allcroft, and everybody else did a great job. I liked how they gave all the engines different voices, they had about 5 of them instead of one doing the voices for everybody. They should keep doing this for the episodes of the TV series. They could find somebody talented like June Foray, Tom Kenny, and Bob Saget to do the voices. The only thing that I wanted to see more of was more of the engines, but there are like 70 of them, so I guess that is impossible. I am surprised that it wasn't a success. Britt Allcroft quit and now they changed the show, and even the show's name. I liked the movie, and I think that they should make the episodes like it. They said that it didn't do well because they edited too much with out going back and adding more scenes to replace the ones that they edited. They said that because of this it made the movie confusing. But I never noticed any of this. I think it is a great movie, and I also liked the part where Gordon says he knows everything. I also like the parts where Mr. Conductor must escape from Diesel 10 and Pinchy.....


Okay, this movie is getting close to Bottom 100 status, so let's give this an early analysis, shall we?

Okay. "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" is a feel-good, happy-go-lucky children's film that is based on the long-loved "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends" (now simply "Thomas and Friends") series of shorts.

When my little twin brothers started watching my old Thomas VHSs at age two, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if there was a movie version of Thomas?" A year later, my wish had come true!!!!! So, in summer 2000, not only did Nick Jr. bring back my old PBS favorite "Shining Time Station," but this movie came out in theaters. This was my little brothers' first movie. Yes, it was so good, that heck, even I loved it!!!!! For the years after, we have seen this on the two home mediums of VHS and DVD, and it was even great then!!!!!

The only bad thing about this movie are the many negative reviews it had received. My first movie was Disney's "Beauty and the Beast," and it was one of the greatest films ever made. Sadly, my brothers' first film, this, was one of the worst films ever made, but I won't let that count! It's England, It's Thomas the Tank Engine, and It's A "Really Useful Movie!!!!!"


This is a good film. Me and son enjoyed watching it and helping Thomas and friends solve the mystery of the lost magic train. I read some of the other reviews on here by people criticizing the movie, and all I have to say to those people is - lighten up! If you sit back and enjoy the movie and pay attention to all the clues, you'll see the story works out pretty well. The only rough part of the movie is that some of the scenes with Diesel 10 were scary to my two year old son. Yet these scenes help to create the tension needed to propel the story. Also, the scenes with Thomas are great and so is the theme of being, "responsible, reliable, and really useful."


I used to love the TV series as a kid, I almost never missed it, so I decided to see this film both to see if there was any resemblance, and why the critics hate it, from director Britt Allcroft (who created the show). Basically the supply of gold dust, for travel between Shining Time and the island of Sodor, is running out for Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin). It doesn't help when Thomas the Tank Engine (Edward Glen) and friends are being attacked by the nasty Diesel 10 (Neil Crone), who also wants to find the missing train Lady (Allcroft) and the Magic Railroad it runs on. Trying to help the situation are Mr. C's slacker cousin (Michael E. Rodgers), new friend Lily (slightly deeper voiced Mara Wilson), and her grandpa Burnett Stone (Peter Fonda), who has lost his belief in the magic of Lady. That's about it. Also starring Cody McMains as Patch, Grease's Didi Conn as Stacy Jones, Crone as Gordon, Colm Feore as Toby, Linda Ballantyne as Percy, Kevin Frank as Bertie the Bus, Harold the Helicopter and Henry, Susan Roman as James and Shelley Skinner as Annie and Clarabel. No Fat Controller!? Maybe if Ringo Starr or Michael Angelis had returned to do all the characters voice, it could have improved it the tiniest bit. Then again, nothing can improve the ridiculous story, the stupid acting, the dreadful songs, and the feel that it is nothing like the TV series, even if it looks the same, it's just one of the worst TV adaptations ever. Very poor!


And let's leave it at that. My two year old LOVES this movie. I understand that everyone has a right to celebrate or bash whatever movie they choose to, but I seriously must doubt the intentions of someone watching this movie for some kind of artistic purpose. For all of you who have bashed it and do not have kids, for all of those who have bashed it without regard to what it is should really get a better grip on reality. This is an easy, simple to understand movie that involves trains, which is really all that matters. The point, because many seemed to have missed it, is that in order for the railroad to work, EVERYONE MUST GET INVOLVED. Simple and not a bad message.


My 1 year old is obsessed with this movie. We have watched it at least 20 times and my son wants to watch it everyday. He loves the trains and the silliness of the whole movie. I must say that I do not get sick of it like most movies you watch over and over. My 2 other sons (ages 4 and 8) also enjoy it, especially the character Mr. C. Jr. (Michael E. Rodgers is hilarious). This is one of the few movies that my children enjoy and I don't go crazy watching. I think it is also good for the kids to watch since it contains very little violence. It also has the added bonus of being filmed at the Strasburg Railroad using the very same train that we ride on every year.


Well, the film is not that bad, I would give it a four. It has a few interesting scenes in it, and shows a lot of nudity to cover its low budget. Nothing great here, but watchable. It is like a Manix rerun, I would watch it out of boredom. In the end I give it a 4/10.


Apart from two scenes of gratuitous nudity there's absolutely nothing to recommend here."Too Scared to Scream" is completely lifeless,dull and bloodless outing in the slasher genre.The acting is awful,the pace is extremely slow and the final motif of a knife-wielding killer is so painfully stupid that it has to be heard to be believed.Anne Archer in her first role is incredibly wooden,and there is almost no blood and gore to be seen here.So don't be fooled by other reviews-this is one of the worst,most boring slash'em all flicks I have ever seen.1 out of 10.You'll regret seeing this your all life!


Mike Conners plays Detective Dinardo, a New York detective investigating a series of ghastly murders of various residents in high-rise apartment complex. With some suspicion pointing to the strange doorman, Dinardo recruits police rookie Kate as bait to lure the killer into the open. What more would you expect from a slasher film? It pretty much on the poster tricked us with the Tagline. Not to mention a rotten script and a poor beginning. Lots of cheapable laughs. But it has very bad music in it. This is an awful movie who has the heart to like "Girl's Nite Out". If you agree with this, this is no way to waste your money on this. Skip this one and rent Anatomy.

Rated R for Extreme Violence, Profanity, Nudity, Strong Adult Themes and Sexual Situations.


This is by far the best small budget picture this year, if not ever. This movie will win awards, the players will receive nominations. I cannot possibly say enough about this picture. Redgrave was perfect. Margot Kidder, unbelievable... what a casting job. She alone is worth the 12 dollars. James Earl Jones wrestling nothing, falling on the floor...even his Jamaican accent was believable. What dialogue! What a script. From start to finish this one is a masterpiece.


A love story about two people (James Earl Jones and Lynn Redgrave) who end up in the same boarding house (run by Margot Kidder in one of her best performances ever), after being rejected by society and the people whom they have counted on for support. As they fall in love they have to deal with the unusual ways that each of them have created purpose for themselves--the very reasons society has rejected them--while also facing their prejudices about age, race, and sex.

I saw this film at the 2000 USA Film Festival and thoroughly enjoyed it. All the performances are first-rate, as is the cinematography, the script and the music.

This film is unlikely to get wide distribution, due to the fact that it does not feature wet teenagers or loud rock-and-roll, but if you do get the opportunity to see it, do. You'll be glad you did.


I'm not sure how this movie could have been funnier, but I'm glad it wasn't: if I had laughed any harder, I would have p**d in my pants. Top-flight performances by three top-flight actors made this comedy one of the best I have seen in years.

The ending was completely predictable... If you can't guess how the movie will end after watching the first ten minutes or so, you just aren't trying. Even though you generally know what's going to happen, the craftmanship with which the characters are portrayed makes it certain that your joy is never diminished.

I had the giggles for half an hour. See this movie!


Postman Pat and his black and white cat, Jess - legends in their own right. I was entertained endlessly by pat and his adventures when I was a young lad. The stories are simple and very easy to understand and teach us all valuable lessons on the road to life about being helpful and kind to your neighbours. With a theme song that rocks and other songs and music that were great to hum along to, Pat was truly a hero for our times. He's changed recently; in my opinion the changes are not that great. They've tried to make Pat even more PC, his lips move (sacrilege!) and there's no more moments of Pat just driving like there were in the 80s...just driving through the countryside. If anything the Postman Pat of today comments on the fast-pace of our children's society. But despite all that, no once can argue that Pat was, is and shall always be the greatest British hero.

8/10


When I was a kid this was just one of greatest show I ever knew. Not exactly a huge story, but a huge star. A postman named Pat who drives a red post van filled with letters and parcels with his cat Jess. Ken Barrie as Narrator and voices was just perfect. Postman Pat was the same makers of Fireman Sam. Pat is a nice friendly postman with many friends in the town of Greendale, the only ones I can actually remember are Mrs Goggins in the Post Office and Ted the mechanic. Pat was a nice guy and black and white Jess was cute. One of my favourite episodes was Pat's birthday, which just showed how much of a difference Pat made to the town of Greendale. Your kids will love it, the Royal Mail probably loves it too! It was number 23 on The 100 Greatest Kids' TV Shows. Very good!


It was one of the few shows on CBS that didn't have a chance as it should have had. It was well-written and I liked the cast including Brian Keith and his real-life daughter Daisy Keith (Both father and daughter committed suicide years later). I remember this show because it was rural and set in the Heartland of Nebraska. First, there are few shows set in Nebraska anymore. I always liked to see how other people lived in other states. The show also featured Richard Gilliland (husband of Jean Smart in real life). I thought the show had a lot going for it but obviously, I was wrong. The show got cancelled and I have nothing but my memories of it for now. It would be nice to see family oriented sitcoms like Heartland today on network television or on cable or in syndication. I have a feeling that Heartland would have done well in syndication like Mama's Family.


Like everyone that has reviewed this film before me, I am going to sing it's praises, however, unlike those before me, I'm not quite sure why. This film did everything it was supposed to do as a horror film. It scared me in a few areas, it was quite gory in others and it was easily one of the ten most quirky and bizarre films I have ever seen. I can't tell you why anything transpires the way it does in here, I can't even tell you why people do the things they do, but I don't really think that is the point of the film. Like David Lynch's Mulholland Drive, this is more of mind altering experience or a dream that just doesn't make any sense. Perhaps this is a film that is esoteric by design and if that is the case then perhaps I should just watch it over and over again until I do have some sort of puerile grasp of it.

Dictionary.com's definition of a phantasm is "in Platonic philosophy, objective reality as observed by the five senses." Another definiton it gives is simply, "a notion". And if you watch this film from beginning to end you will see why this makes all the sense in the world, yet it is still an abstruse concept that is meant to be exactly what it is.

The film begins with a funeral of one of Jody (Bill Thornbury) and Reggie's (Reggie Bannister) best friends. Jody's little brother, Mikey ( A Michael Baldwin) is a precocious kid who can't seem to stay in one place and follows his big brother everywhere he goes. Hence he is at the funeral but is surreptitiously hiding out in the bushes. As the funeral ends, he sees the caretaker lift a casket all by himself and put it into his truck. This is the nascency of the bizaare rituals that encompass the film.

Michael decides to investigate the strange looking mansion where the cemetery rests. Once he breaks into the house, he is chased by some strange Jawa looking creatures and by a sphere that seems to come out of nowhere and drains your head of blood. He does escape and finally gets his big brother to believe him when he says that things aren't quite right up at the Morningside Cemetery. Now, up until this point, the film is quite linear. You have your classic set-up, a spooky looking mansion where the dead are taken and your typical stupid characters that do the traditional scary movie things, like going to investigate a haunted house all by yourself, gratuitous breast shots, some eerie music and dark nights. But that is where the title "typical horror film" ends and it crosses over into Rod Serling territory. From here on out, it just goes weird, but in a goosebump inducing way that keeps you frozen in your seat.

Don Coscarelli can take all of the praise and/or blame for this eccentric film. He wrote, produced, directed, was the DP, the editor and as another reviewer so aptly pointed out, he probably swept the floors at night and fetched coffee for those on the set. This is his incarnation. I also happen to agree with other viewers that say that this film has one of the most haunting yet mellifluous scores which is on par with Carpenter's Halloween theme. Both are intricate pieces to the presence of the film. Words like haunting, eerie, creepy and forbidding all come to mind when you hear the score. It is also uncanny to see some of the similarities to A Nightmare On Elm Street and Phantasm. Nightmare was a little more clear with what it was trying to say but both films have an overtly murky and dream like exploration into realms that many of us have yet to understand.

The underlying theme in this film is the unsolved questions that plague many of us when we wonder what happens when you die. Most of us believe that you go to Heaven or Hell. But those are just theories. And if theories are unproven then what is stop you from believing that this movie could really be the answer to those questions? As the tag line for the film so poignantly points out, "If this one doesn't scare you, you're already dead." What if all of this was true? What if you could be stolen and made into something that you did not ask to become? Who is the Tall Man and what is he doing here in our world? One of the most harrowing yet well done plot pieces is when Mikey goes to the girl's house and finds an old picture of the Tall Man sitting on a horse carriage, looking like it is circa 1776. This leaves the viewer ripe with questions.

Phantasm will leave you with more questions than answers but I will say this about the film. In a day and age where you get prosaic, banal and myopic efforts like ( take your pick of most of the horror that has "graced" our screens since the Scream and Blair Witch craze) and you compare them to films like Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Phantasm, you quickly realize that the 70's and early 80's was the genesis of the horror film. I realize horror probably dates back to Nosferatu and it became respected with Psycho, but to look at the films that were born in the 70's and 80's, it's a veritable, indefeasible list of some of the most revered and imitated horror films of all time. Now that I have seen Phantasm I can easily see the mark it has left on other films.

9 out of 10----As I said, I still can't tell you what this film is all about nor can I tell you what it all means or how it all ends, all I can say is that it made me feel something strange with it's disingenuous stroke of the brush. This is a film that absolutely demands a second and third viewing....which is what I am about to do right now. BOY!!!!!!!


Two orphaned boys, Mike (Michael Baldwin) and Jody (Bill Thornbury) notice some strange things happening at Morningside Mortuary. Bodies are disappearing from coffins; a lady in lavender has sex with men in the graveyard and then stabs them to death; little midgets in brown cloaks (making sounds like lions) are roaming about and there's a flying silver orb with spikes that embeds itself in people's heads! And then there's the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) overseeing it all...Soon Mike, Jody and their friend Reggie (Reggie Bannister) are fighting for their lives...

The story is pretty thin (and REALLY out of whack at the end), the acting dismal, there's no characterizations or depth and some of the special effects are horrible but...this is STILL a classic horror film. It takes a while to get going (nothing much happens in the first half hour), but when it does there's scarcely a letup. Action leaps into high gear, there's some fairly graphic gore (including the now infamous flying sphere killing), there are plenty of scenes guaranteed to make you jump and the music score is very spooky...right up there with "Halloween". Also some of the special effects are impressive (considering there was no budget). Also Michael Baldwin was a VERY attractive man and there's gratuitous male and female nudity. What's even more surprising is Don Coscarelli wrote, produced, directed AND edited this at the age of 24! He's never matched it since and all the sequels really suck...but this stands alone as a classic. A must-see for all horror fans. Also Scrimm is EXCELLENT (and damn scary) as the Tall Man.

Trivia: This was awarded an X rating FOUR TIMES because of the sphere killing...Coscarelli went all the way to the head of the ratings board who overturned it and gave it an R--a rare occurrence that the ratings board kept in a gore scene!


There are two things that stand out in this film. The Tall Man (played by Angus Scrimm) and the chrome sphere with hook-like blades that stick out of it. Those are the two main elements when it comes to this horror series directed by Don Coscarelli. The Tall Man comes from another dimension where he takes some of the earth's dead back to his home planet, reincarnates them and turns them into slaves for his world. He even occasionally murders some earth people in order to speed things up. Why wait for them to get old and die natural deaths. That would take too much time, right? And what better earth profession he can hide his identity behind than that of a funeral parlor director. Everything goes smoothly for the Tall Man until Mike Pearson (Michael Baldwin) witnesses him carting a body away that's supposed to be buried in the ground. At first his brother Jody (Bill Thornbury) doesn't believe him, but when Mike shows him a cut-off finger surrounded by 'yellow blood' in a little wooden box he had saved as proof, Jody starts to believe him. Excellent scene of the chrome sphere zooming down the funeral parlor hallway and 'accidentally' digging into the skull one of the Tall Man's henchmen. A little screw appears out of it and starts to bore a hole through his skull, ejecting the excess blood out a hole in the back of the sphere. I wish there was more of the sphere although we'll get to see a lot more of it again in PHANTASM II (1988). I also like the portal gateway scene where if you go through the two chrome poles, you'll get to see the Tall Man's alternative universe where the slaves are busy carrying caskets down a stone pathway. We even get to see Ice Cream Man, Reggie Bannister almost get sucked through it as well. I won't give away the ending but let's just say the Tall Man is temporarily disposed of until the next sequel comes out, although the dream element that's supposed to encompass the whole sequence of events in the film, is a big negative against it. In fact, it brings it down a notch, unfortunately. Even so, I consider PHANTASM to be one of the best horror films of the 1970s. It managed to keep Avco/Embassy in business so they could bring us later horror stuff like ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1980); THE FOG (1980) and DEAD AND BURIED (1981) The MGM DVD also has a lot more extras on it than you would expect from other DVDs released by the same company, including 8mm behind-the-scenes footage of the making of PHANTASM; a 1979 interview down in Miami with director Coscarelli and Angus Scrimm; an appearance at a 1989 Fangoria convention by Scrimm, and movie & TV trailers for the film. It's a labor of love by the truest fans of this film. 7 out of 10


PHANTASM is nothing short of a true classic and one of my all time favorite horror movies. It is one of the earliest horror films I remember seeing and really jump-started my lifelong love and fascination for things that have since poisoned my once innocent little mind and turned me into the crazed fanatic I am today. The film follows a young boy who witnesses some strange goings-on at the nearby Morningside Cemetery. Him, his older brother, and their ice cream truck driving buddy all investigate, and end up getting mixed up in a life threatening nightmare involving some seriously bizarre stuff, such as evil dwarfs that roam around, hiding in the shadows, flying spheres that eject blades which pierce the skull and drain the victims brains. And who could forget that towering, sinister S.O.B. The Tall Man, played brilliantly by Angus Scrimm. Director Don Coscarelli's unforgettably strange independent masterpiece is an absolute must see for anyone who call themselves a horror fan. The movie has it all: gore, some nudity, explosions, a cheezy bug creature, and plenty more. If you haven't seen this movie than definitely do so, or if you have not seen it in a while, give it another go and enjoy!


"Phantasm" is about a young teenager, Mike, who just recently lost his parents. He is worried about losing his older brother, so he follows him everywhere, including a funeral. While hiding in the bushes during the funeral, Mike sees "The Tall Man" (played by the creepy Angus Scrimm), the man who runs the funeral home, pick up a casket by himself. Mike begins spying on the man afterwards, fascinated with uncovering the strange events surrounding the funeral home. While investigating, Mike discovers a strange world within the walls of the mortuary, including flying metal spheres with sharp arrows that drain the blood from your head, and many other horrors. Turns out, the Tall Man is from another dimension, and is taking the bodies of the dead and reincarnating them in his world for slaves. Mike teams up with his older brother and the local ice cream man, Reggie, to stop the Tall Man's gruesome work.

I remember my mother telling me about how much "Phantasm" scared her when she was a teenager, and she rented it one day and I watched it along with her (I was about nine or ten at the time), and it was genuinely one of the most bizarre movies I've ever viewed. Written (as well as directed) by Don Coscarelli, "Phantasm" has become something of a horror classic over the years, and deservedly so. Coscarelli's writing here is so unique that it hurts. Everything in this film is surreal and dreamlike, and the entire plot line is so out there that I can't think of another film that can quite compete in terms of strangeness. But, despite it's strangeness, this movie works, in it's own, weird little way. The script is solid and the characters are believable (there are some real-life situations thrown in as well, so there is some sort of viewer-character connections that can be made), even though about ninety-nine percent of this film is something of pure fantasy. But it's quite a scary fantasy, and that's for sure.

There are many elements in this film that have become somewhat legendary, among them being the murderous silver spheres and The Tall Man's "Boyyyyy!" line. The thing is, among all of the randomness that is "Phantasm", this is quite a terrifying movie. A dense feeling of helplessness and foreboding is hiding in every scene, and the cinematography and locations add to this quite a bit. The imagery is bizarre and often very spooky, and the settings are perfect (especially that creepy old funeral home). The viewers themselves are easily caught up in the engrossing story, and the atmosphere is very scary. Michael Baldwin plays our lead hero well, with Reggie Bannister as the ice cream man, and Bill Thornbury as Mike's older brother, Jody. And Angus Scrimm plays his signature role as The Tall Man, and his presence alone makes this film scarier than most of it's genre. And then there's the score to the film, which is equally as effective and just as chilling. The film concludes leaving many questions open-ended and unanswered, but honestly - can you really expect genuine, fulfilling answers when the movie itself is so strange? I think it's good that this film does leave some loose ends, because it goes along with the movie's overall feel.

Bottom line - I don't think this movie is for everyone, and it might be just a little bit too weird for some. Honestly, one of the strangest, most out-there films I have ever seen, but in my opinion, that's a good thing. The story is strange but well crafted, and the bizarre imagery and atmosphere make this a painfully unique, scary experience. I can see why "Phantasm" has become such a classic of the genre. For me, this film remains a nice little piece of spooky and original nostalgia, and I'm glad my mom decided to scare the daylights out of me with it at such a young age, because I grew to love this movie later on. 10/10.


I remember staying up late to watch this movie on TV when I was a kid. It scared the hell out of me. Then, for 15 years, I forgot all about it. Recently, I found a $5 VHS copy in the discount bin of my local drugstore and thought: "What the hell?" That was the best $5 I ever spent.

Phantasm may not make a lot of sense, the story is confusing and seems to have been made up as it went along, but that's kind of the point. It's like watching someone else's fever dream...and that's exactly what it's supposed to be like, because it IS someone else's fever dream. Phantasm is a classic nightmare; totally unpredictable, claustrophobic, paranoid and frightening.

13 year old Michael Baldwin was perfect as the young protagonist, an amazingly refreshing, un-annoying child actor. I was totally convinced by his performance as the lonely teen, desperately chasing after his older brother and displaying just the right amounts of anger, confusion and frustration, yet never giving in to panic even as his world spins out of control. Bill Thornbury as older brother Jody seemed mysteriously detached, yet after repeated viewings, I realized how correct this was in light of the twist ending. He is, indeed, a ghost that Michael simply refuses to give up. Reggie Bannister was completely irresistible as the sweet and gentlemanly Reggie the Ice Cream Man, who manages to remain innocent and lovable even as he suggests ramming a stake through the Tall Mans heart. And the Tall Man, Mr. Angus Scrimm himself...BRRRRR!!! He doesn't have many lines (other than the now-infamous "BOYYYYYYY!") but he doesn't need any. His very presence is chilling, and the scene where he stops dead in the middle of a suburban sidewalk in the middle of the day and turns, ever so slowly, to face Michael through a mist of frost emanating from Reggie's ice cream truck, is more frightening than any murder scene set in the dead of night. And need I mention the flying balls? What an original, ingenious invention!

This is such an amazing blend of sci-fi, horror and fantasy that I really did not care if it didn't make a whole lot of sense. The flying balls, the dwarves, the yellow blood, and THAT FLY IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!! Wow. If nothing else, you simply have to give this film and its makers credit for originality. After watching my $5 discount bin copy enough times to remember what a GREAT little movie this is, I went right out and bought the special edition DVD. More money very well spent.


Written, directed, photographed, produced and edited by Don Coscarelli, this doesn't make much sense but it's still a great bit of fun to watch with the lights turned out. This kid named Mike convinces his older brother Jody that there is something weird going on at the local cemetery. So he and Jody break into the old mausoleum and find out that it's actually some kind of factory where people are killer by a flying metal ball, crushed down to a height of about 3'2", dressed up like little monks and packaged up into round metal garbage cans and shipped off for use as slave labour in some other dimension. A dimension ruled and resided over by the mortician (known throughout the entire ordeal as just simply "The Tall Man") working at this cemetery. Then The Tall Man kills another friend of theirs, and they decide to put and end to him, or at least try to.

This movie has many different layered meanings, over the years some people have said that it's a reference to corporate America coming in (in the form of The Tall Man) and killing off everyone (by turning everything into a 'business') and some have said that this movie is also about a kid's loss of innocence and fears about everyone around him leaving (or in this case dying) Whatever the hell this movie is about it's still great fun followed by a couple of really disappointing (and belated) sequels.

***1/2 out of ****


A teenage boy (Michael Baldwin) stumbles upon a plot by a very tall mortuary worker (Angus Scrimm) to steal dead bodies and turn them into midget slaves for an alien world. With the help of his brother, the boy hopes to cut the tall man down to size.

28 years later, Don Coscarelli is now seen as a master of horror and Angus Scrimm somewhat of a horror icon (though to a lesser degree than, say, Robert Englund). While the plot I've outlined above may sound silly, the actual execution of this idea makes it clear why this film has really lodged itself in horror history and spawned numerous sequels (all starring Scrimm).

This film captures the feeling of the late 1970s and early 1980s horror with the young boy stumbling upon a plot of large, sinister proportions. Horror geared towards the youth of a generation who have parents who may not believe them (or in this case, an older brother). I really like this sense, much like "The Goonies", "The Monster Squad" and "Lost Boys" -- a kid's film without being childish.

"Phantasm" has become known for the silver balls, and believe me -- when Angus Scrimm puts one of his balls in your face, you won't be happy about it. A bloody mess is all you'll get! I really enjoyed the effect of this (remember, this is 1979 when effects still took some creativity).

Now, some things I didn't understand. For example, why are the midgets bleeding macaroni and cheese instead of blood? And more importantly, why does the tall man have to transform into a woman to stab people in the cemetery? If he's super strong and has those silver balls, he really doesn't have to be very sneaky about the whole ordeal, does he?

But, seriously, check this film out. Roughly in the same time period as "Halloween", you are left with a similar feeling. Only this one is more light-hearted and "feel good" and less "the embodiment of evil". I suppose it depends on your personal taste or your mood for the day. Myself, I like a little bit of the unusual thrown in to a movie just to keep me guessing.


Sure, "Phantasm" is about as low budget as you can get, even for a horror film, but the amazing thing about this movie is that a lack of funds did not hurt it at all. In fact, some of the plot holes that a bigger budget would have filled in actually work in the movie's favor. By not really understanding who the Tall Man is or why he does what he does, "Phantasm" assumes enigmatic dimensions that practically beg for explanation through further sequels. Coscarelli, who I think is planning yet another sequel in this franchise, has also made a few other films over the years: the recent "Bubba Ho-tep" and the ubiquitous cable favorite "The Beastmaster" are the most memorable.

Reggie, Jody, and Jody's younger brother Mike soon learn strange things are afoot at the Morningside Funeral Home. After a funeral service for a friend of Reggie and Jody, Mike sees the eerie undertaker at the funeral home heave a three hundred pound casket in the back of a hearse all by himself. Intrigued, Mike begins to investigate the funeral home and this puzzling figure, fondly known to fans of the series as the Tall Man, and unearths a whole heap of weirdness. Before long Jody and Reggie get caught up in the madness of the Tall Man's world. What they discover behind the walls of the funeral home is a nightmare of endless dangers: twisted, angry little creatures clad in robes, a portal to another dimension, and small flying spheres that seek out human flesh with disastrous and bloody results. As the three attempt to put together the odd pieces of this puzzle, the Tall Man and his minions always lurk in the background ready to do serious bodily injury to the interlopers. What Reggie, Mike, and Jody discover is hardly reassuring: the Tall Man is some sort of other dimensional being roaming our world in search of corpses. He then reanimates the bodies and transforms them into stunted little creatures so he can transport them into his dimension. Why does he do this? Who knows, but it is fun watching our three heroes battle the Tall Man in this film and the subsequent sequels.

One of the best elements of "Phantasm" is the characters. You have the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm), a lumbering giant of a man dressed all in black and sporting a perpetual scowl. He delivers his lines, of which there are few in this movie but more in subsequent films, in a growling tone full of dark menace. Scrimm is creepy as the Tall Man, and I think this character may well be one of my favorite horror film bad guys. The actors who play Reggie, Jody, and Mike appear in all of the sequels (with a minor switch in two), an important continuity because it gives the "Phantasm" franchise a real "contained universe" feel lacking in most horror series. It was fun for me to watch the original film after seeing the later sequels because the guys are so much younger here. Jody sports a '70's coif that would do Starsky and Hutch proud, and Reggie looks so young that it is almost frightening.

"Phantasm" films always contain elements that make for a great, downbeat atmosphere. The music is absolutely fantastic, and if I had to compare the background beats of "Phantasm" with the sound of another horror film it would have to be something along the lines of Kubrick's "The Shining." The movie sounds creepy, and when matched with the mostly shot at night scenes and the wickedly gory rampages of those metallic spheres, the whole film takes on a most memorable feel. Coscarelli does not rely solely on gripping horror, however, as there are many humorous scenes throughout the film. The scene where Mike and Jody do battle with the severed finger is one of the funniest I have seen in a horror movie. Even the fake looking bug and the gruesome little minions of the Tall Man are amusing in their own right.

If you want to buy just one DVD because of the extras, you should get Phantasm if you can track down a copy(it's gone OOP now). I couldn't believe how much stuff they packed on one disc! You get lengthy deleted scenes, a commentary with Coscarelli and the film's actors, a long interview with Coscarelli and Angus Scrimm made years ago with some film professor, a short film of an appearance Angus Scrimm made at a horror convention, trailers, a disco version of the theme song (!), poster and lobby card pictures, a kooky promotional ad made by Angus Scrimm for the Australian market, and a widescreen picture transfer. I especially enjoyed the footage of Scrimm speaking at a horror film convention. Even though it was a bit corny, he quickly ran through all of the lines the Tall Man said in the "Phantasm" films, and since most of his dialogue in these movies is so memorable it was great to hear him say them in character. Overall, it felt like it took longer to view all of the extras on this disc than it did to watch the film! If you haven't delved into the dark world of "Phantasm," start here and rapidly move on to the excellent sequels.


"Phantasm: an apparition of a ghostly appearing figure" Simply put Phantasm is a visual nightmare transformed into a person's sketchy reality. The emphasis on sleeping and dreams is exactly the message it is getting at. With a perfect score and a quintessentially frighteningly written Horror villain 'The Tall Man' the only downfalls of Phantasm are its lack of quality acting, script, pacing and cheap 1970's horror clichés. In fact the acting and characters become so irritating it is the only element of Phantasm that takes it away from being considered a true Horror classic by most Horror buffs (or maybe it's George Lucas' unauthorized use of Jawa's?).

When one scans the Horror elite those films have pretty atrocious acting problems too, so why should Phantasm fail so much? It shouldn't really because Phantasm is just as good as the classics. One of the reason why Phantasm is such a unique film is the well established characters unlike most Horror films; whilst the acting is somewhat absent from the strongly written character it's still enough to redeem the awkwardly delivered lines, odd facial expressions and comical snappy reactions. The films score is also perfect and mesmerizing that fits well by Fred Myrow, it was in fact one of the most powerful elements of the movie that really had me engaged. The stunning visuals and the concept and imagery of The Tall Man (wonderfully portrayed by Angus Scrimm) are authentically creepy, like something one would encounter in a nightmare. (in fact, I had a dream where I was in Hell and I encountered a priest that had been shrunk and dissected by a demon and this was before I saw Phantasm) I know I would be pretty hysterical if The Tall Man was stalking me.

It's these points of the film that for me makes Phantasm an atmospheric and creepy horror gem, in fact it brings me back to when I was a five year old child in a video store in the 90's, traumatized by the VHS covers for Hellraiser and The Blob only to eagerly await the day I was old enough to view them. Another reason why Phantasm's atmosphere works so well is the use of white and brightness instead darkness Phantasm's surreal mortuary is a nightmarish treat of white marble walls lined with drawers of the dead, gaping large hallways and The Tall Man's shoes trudging along the tiles that make you feel he's going to jump out of the television screen. From the flying silver balls to the void to another dimension, Phantasm's concept of a ghoulishly eerie tale about a soul keeper is wonderfully mastered and pulled off.

No matter how jammed with 1970's horror clichés the use of the shoestring budget and surrealism incorporated into Phantasm makes it a pure Horror gem. It seems all the love goes to over rated films only because they're so talked about and not actually analysed. This movie has creeped me out more than any other Horror classic ever could now and I'm far from the age I was when I used to be scared those films. Phantasm is highly recommended to surrealist, horror and cult fanatics.


As a successful director of kid's films, Don Coscarelli felt like moving into horror. But he was out of ideas so he shut himself in a mountain cabin for a few weeks and dreamt up Phantasm. God only knows what he was smoking or drinking in order to conjure up a story like this. I've been watching it for over six years, trying to get my head around it. But like the most complex of David Lynch films, there are still some parts of the puzzle that are too warped to fit.

Mike and Jody Pearson are two brothers living in small town California. Their parents have recently died, leaving twenty-something Jody in charge of 13-year-old Mike. But Jody is restless and cannot stay cooped up in such a small town for long. Mike dreads that Jody will dump him with an aunt or uncle and disappear beyond the horizon.

But that's the least of his worries for the moment. Jody's friend has mysteriously committed suicide and after his funeral Mike, hiding in the bushes, sees the undertaker, a sinister Tall Man, heave the coffin out of the ground all by himself and dump it back in the Hearse.

Knowing something ain't quite right about all this, Mike investigates the funeral home and is attacked by hooded dwarfs, flying killer chrome spheres (inspired by one of Coscarelli's nightmares) and is chased by the Tall Man. He gets away but loses a shoe and hacks off some of the Tall Man's fingers for proof.

It's not an ordinary finger, it oozes some kind of yellow puss (embalming fluid perhaps) and still pokes around on it's own. Convinced of supernatural interference, the brothers team up with their Ice Cream vendor pal Reggie to kick the Tall Man's head in. It ain't that easy I'm afraid and the film turns from weirdo horror into positively strange sci-fi as the trio discover more and more inexplicable activity going on at Morningside Cemetery.

The film doesn't have many faults. But it is quite frustrating seeing the characters do no more than go to the cemetery and go home, then go to the cemetery and go home for, more or less, the entire running time. Don Coscarelli shot about 3 hours worth of footage and only ended up using half that. There are loads of fun scenes left out that, while not essential to the film's plot, could have kept things more balanced.

The total 70s feel is a major plus though. Man, I wish I were a kid back then. The big hair, the flares, the cool cars, the loose women and the funky music are all part of this film. The hip 70s score is also incredibly funky and spooky at the same time. Once you start humming it there's no stop.

It's also very different from the typical 70s horror formula. There are no masked killers, no women being chased through the woods and no slasher fodder characters. Mike, Jody and Reggie are bold and decisive and choose to fight instead of running and hiding. The setting of rural California is also a refreshing change from medieval castles, hick villages or haunted houses.

Angus Scrimm, who plays the Tall Man, is no doubt the film's best asset. He hardly says a word but he OWNS every scene he's in. His physical presence and menace makes him a damn cool horror villain and he ought to be as iconic as Freddy or Jason.

No matter what way you look at it, Phantasm never makes complete sense. You can turn it upside down, inside out and back-to-front and you might be able to work most of it out, but there will always be one thing that sticks out. Don Coscarelli claimed he wanted it to be open-ended and ambiguous as a way of not having to make any sequels.

That tactic didn't work.


Phantasm and its sequels is a popular horror-series, but not as big as the obvious franchises such as Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween or Friday the 13th. And that's a good thing because you can't really compare this ingenious muddle with mainstream slashers. Phantasm is a complete one-man Don Coscarelli project with a good share of morbidity, humor and extravaganceall brought together in one major cool looking packing. The plot simply has to be to be believed. The Tall Man (terrific charismatic performance by Agnus Schrimm) is some sort of nightmarish grave robber. Immensely strong and ghoulish as he turns corpses into ugly little dwarfs, before shipping them out as intergalactic slaves! How does this rate on your originality scale?!? Phantasm contains other (already legendary) elements such as the deadly flying spheres that plant themselves into the victim's forehead and then perpetrates the brain. A pretty violent thing to see, but even more appealing when you're a horror fan. Regretfully, Phantasm also suffers from a few overwhelming negative aspects. Like the uninteresting main characters of the boy and his older brother. The stress isn't laid on The Tall Man in this first episode yet, and the ultra-cool Reggie (an ice-cream vending guitar player with a ponytail) hasn't got that much screen time, neither. The finale is a big letdown and a bit too confusing for a late 70's horror film. So far, 4 sequels have been produced. The first one (released in 1988) is a highly recommended film with an overload of macabre splattering and black humor. At times, this first sequel was even funnier to look at than the original. All the other sequels can easily be skipped.


This is really not a good film. B minus maximum, but I think its more of a C film. The story and the actors are no good. Although the director seems to have seen Star Wars numerous times (or why the hell are the dwarves running around like monks for). Also this is banned in Germany (what for?) there is just a bit of blood and no gore. This really is an enormous piece of crap. One or two laughs though.

To people interested in the story: (SPOILERS AHEAD) This film is about a graveyard dude who crunches dead people to a height of 3 feet, revives them and then uses them as slaves in some sort of 'other galaxy'. Think that is a great story? Then rent this. (SPOILERS END)

4 out of 10

(Oh yes did I mention that the effects totally suck (from a 2001 point of view. For 1979 they were great, but as the film is bad, this really makes the film worse. In a good film bad effects do not matter that much.)


Maybe I should have seen this when I was a kid. Perhaps viewing it for the first time in the 21st century just doesn't provide the necessary atmosphere to appreciate what this film is about. But for whatever reason, this movie didn't grab my attention at all. It was full of long, and as far as I can tell, pointless shots of people walking, riding bikes, driving cars, or just plain standing around. They were accompanied by spooky noises or music, but they still dragged on for way too long. Maybe that was the late 70's way of building tension, but by the time 20 minutes had gone by, I was so disenfranchised that there was no way I could be apprehensive. And this while watching it in the dead of night alone with the lights off.

I love horror movies, and especially hokey ones like Evil Dead. My wife and friends start groaning whenever I go off on some movie that everyone else thinks is stupid. But this one...it just didn't work for me.


If the sound of that sonorous, ball-rattling growl wasn't enough to make you wet yourself, you needed to check your pulse to see if it was still there. Or as the poster and the previews so aptly put it: "If THIS doesn't scare you, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!!!"

At the time that movies like THE EXORCIST, HALLOWEEN and THE FURY had already bolted from the gate in the Kentucky Derby of scaring up "boo" and "bling" at the Box Office, there were some nifty little gems that wormed their way between the cracks to scoop up some crumbs and some die-hard fans who became fiercely loyal to them and the franchises they eventually spawned. Of those films that surfaced at the time, the most imaginative and out- and-out frightening of them all was PHANTASM.

Mike (A. Michael Baldwin), the youngest brother of Jody (Bill Thornbury) is always underfoot, always shadowing his big brother. Younger bros have a way of doing that to begin with, but Mike has some "abandonment issues" and it's not a surprise: their parents were both killed in a car accident, and Jody is not only Mike's legal guardian, but he's all the family the kid has. Well, not counting Jody's best bud Reggie (Reggie Bannister), a ponytailed, laid-back Sixties holdover who drives an ice-cream truck for a living.

PHANTASM begins with the mysterious death of a mutual friend of Jody and Reggie's. Forbidden to attend the funeral, Mike sneaks off to Morningside Cemetery anyway to watch the service through binoculars. But the event that kicks this scarefest into high gear is not the funeral, but what happens AFTERWARDS.

The moment the mourners are gone, a hearse arrives and a seven-foot tall, gaunt vision of terror dressed in the usual funeral director's outfit, picks up the casket WITH HIS BARE HANDS and dumps it into the back of the hearse like a grocery sack.

Mike has just had his first encounter with the ghoul known only as The Tall Man, but it definitely won't be the last.

He manages to get brother Jody and their friend Reggie roped into believing what he's seen, and trying to find out what The Tall Man is up to, and then how to stop him. The rest of the movie is catapulted into a world where dream states and reality exist almost as one, and you have no idea from moment to terrifying moment what the hell is going to happen next.

Using every trick in the book that could be created before the benefits of CGI, director Don Coscarelli blends horror, sci-fi, comedy, fantasy and everything in between to keep the audience laughing and screaming, sometimes all at once. Referencing Mike Oldfield's haunting theme to THE EXORCIST, composers Fred Myrow and Malcolm Seagrave came up with a superb score that's just as haunting and memorable in its own right, underscoring the visuals perfectly.

And if the acting is not top drawer from a then no-name cast, at least the performances are somewhat natural and not over-acted. The key scene-stealer is Bannister, a great instinctive Cheech-and-Chong-type comic, whose priceless expressions and timing would be enlisted for a whole slew of PHANTASM sequels.

But the acting awards overall have to go to Angus Scrimm as The Tall Man. A former schoolteacher, Scrimm, with very little help from the makeup department, cut such a formidable figure of fright, that it would be impossible to imagine any sequels without him. (Indeed; he's in all of them.)

And the spare special effects budget is used wisely on briefly glimpsed but highly effective set-pieces based on gore and intense action, especially the mainstay of the PHANTASM series: the ominous and terrifying Silver Spheres.

If (Gawd forbid!) any talk of a remake actually leads to an upcoming movie, (and there HAS been talk), I would only hope that Don Coscarelli is hired to do it justice. No other director could bring to it the sparks of originality that spawned the series in the first place.

A little on the dated side, but for anyone who considers themselves a true fan of the genre, this is REQUIRED viewing!


Wonderful, excellent, delightful, for an utter piece of crap. Utilizing much the same story, budget and Z-movie trimmings as Ed Wood's best-known film, PHANTASM is eminently watchable trash. It is as delicious for its awfulness as much as for its willingness to do all kinds of absurd things, like turning corpses into Jawas and storing them in an ice cream truck.

Complete with screamingly bad acting and ridiculous, unnecessary, illogical plot contrivances, this movie also features a gateway to another dimension, an abandoned mineshaft, a flying ball-bearing, some severed fingers, a couple of unmotivated sex scenes, a giant housefly on wires, a few shotgunned dwarfs, a bald guy with a ponytail and a 1970 Barracuda. Plus Angus Scrimm as Tor Johnson.

It says something about the acid generation that while PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE was a dismal box office failure in 1959, twenty years later PHANTASM was popular enough to achieve international release, spawn at least four sequels, and launch the career of questionable auteur Don Coscarelli. Thanks, Timothy Leary.


"Phantasm" is a way to go to end the 70's era. Before Jason Voorhes, before Freddy Kreuger, or even the Candyman, there's The Tall Man(Angus Scrimm), a hauntingly tower of terror who uses a the deadliest arsenals of all: The Flying Silver Spheres! The fun fact is the Plymouth HemiCuda is a rad car back then, and still is now. A young man meets this sinister man and sees how he handled the coffins. His older brother one time makes out with this mysterious blonde and he freak when he sees one of the Tall Man's minions running around the graveyard. Then there's the scene where he was is the coffin and he blows out the left rear tire from inside. If he shot the middle he would have been blown sky high. Fighting the Tall Man is challenging, knowing his weakness is even more challenging. Reggie(Reggie Banister) remembered that the Tall Man can't stand cold. He worked as a Ice Cream salesman, and he's also a warrior at heart. Great horror movie, I like it! 4 out of 5 stars!


this is without a doubt the second greatest movie ever right after frank Capra's Mr. smith goes to Washington its the best highly recommended if you have not seen it buy it great movie awesome scary awesome adventurous cool love this movie great acting great plot great movie buy this movie for real got to buy dis movie for real it is cool love it is awesome highly recommended a don cascara classic everything you want in a movie is right here a horror classics better than all Hitchcock movies better than everything (except Mr. smith goes to Washington)it is a great movie cant explain until you see it a must see great movie


this film is like no other. Yes, at times it can be predictable but your afraid for it to happen. I do think this movie matches up to Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm st. because its different. A mad man throwing blood-sucking spheres! He was also really creepy. He wasn't dead, and he didn't wear a mask he was a simple character. I also found the special affects really good for this movie since it was made so long ago. If you like the horror movies of the 70's and 80's you have to check this flick out. The acting was above average, there are many fright scenes, the music was frightening, and it is definitely worth buying and also a movie you can watch over and over again.

10/10*


Phantasm is one of the most creative horror films from the late 70's/80's.From the imagination of Don Coscarelli,it doesn't play like a slasher film,it's a lot more clever.The setting of the horror is a Funeral home/Cemetery.A smart move,people fear funeral homes/graveyards because they associate them with death.I'd say it a cemetery is a smart place to set a horror film,because we fear it to begin with.The plot is about a boy named Mike,who lives with his brother Jody,they have a friend named Reggie who is an ice cream driver.Mike/Jody/Reggie are the main characters of the film.Their friend is killed in the cemetery.They bury him in the cemetery.Mike hides in the bushes,and sees the funeral home director known as The Tall Man,take the casket.He suspects something is wrong.Mike doesn't hesitate to investigate the cemetery.He sneaks into the mausoleum,where a flying sphere nearly kills him.The Tall Man attacks him,and he cuts off The Tall Man's fingers.Yet the finger still moves,he locks it in a box,and shows it to Jody.Jody decides that they have to investigate.They encounter dwarf slaves,they look like Jawas on film,but I'll forgive Don,because of the low budget.These Dwarf slaves are actually the corpses of the dead of the town.They bring Reggie in on it,and decide they have to find and kill The Tall Man.

Phantasm is a great horror movie.It is fun,and a lot more clever than others.Don Coscarelli is a gifted film maker,he makes great horror films on low budgets.I checked Phantasm out because of his recent Bubba Ho-Tep which was great,and because a teacher at school who I talk to about horror films loved it.I'm glad I did see Phantasm,it was a great horror movie.


I like the Phantasm movies and wish 2 & 3 were available on dvd as well! I am also ready for the next movie if there will ever be one! I hope the next one will be good as the rest! The Phantasms have been closer to the plot than most films even years afterwards!


Phantasm (1979) is one of the most imaginative, scariest horror/science-fiction films ever made. From the mind of genius Don Coscarelli, this film is the first in the Phantasm series. It also started another horror icon: the Tall Man. Phantasm starts off like this:

Mike (A. Michael Baldwin) has just lost his parents to death. He now lives with his older brother Jody (Bill Thornbury), who's thinking about leaving Mike with a relative and leaving their small town. Mike, not wanting to lose his brother follows him wherever he goes. He even follows Jody to a funeral where he witnesses a caretaker only known as the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) carry a huge coffin away from the graveyard. Startled, Mike begins to investigate at night by breaking into Morningside Cemetary only to witness a horrific murder by a flying silver sphere. Now, with zombies and cloaked dwarfs chasing him everywhere, Mike and Jody enlist the help of ice-cream vendor Reggie (Reggie Bannister) to fight the Tall Man and find out what secrets he keeps within the mortuary.

This film, in all of it's aspects, is perfect. Since this movie was made in 1979, the gore effects look more realistic than anything you'll see in modern horror. It just goes to show you that you don't need CGI to make a film look realistic. The story is well-written. The shocking ending is just great. The editing is okay and the direction is expertly. Even the actors all do their best work here.

So if you want to see a scary science-fiction/horror with great gore effects and an even better story, see Phantasm. Also, the sequels aren't so bad themselves. I give Phantasm a 10 out of 10.


I like this movie, but it is kind of strange. What I like most is that it is one of those movies about a town where strange things occur. I love those types of movies. Here graves are being robbed and all this other weird stuff is happening and a group of guys investigate this undertaker known as "The Tall Man". Investigating him, they run into many strange happenings as well as supernatural stuff and science fiction stuff as well. This is the best of the series for me. The later editions just try to explain too much...I always thought it was best to leave it unexplained and mysterious. This movie definitely is both of those things...though the plot is a little hard to follow at times.


Don Coscarelli's original PHANTASM is one of the best horror/sci-fi movies of all time. I'm not going to just reiterate the story like every other post out there has done. All I'm going to say is, if you have any imagination at all you're going to love this film! This is the one that introduced the killer spheres from which the other films in the series have elaborated upon. PHANTASM is an atmospheric thriller that will make you jump, laugh and possibly scream. The music is excellent as well. If you've only seen an old, crappy video rental and dismissed this as "some lame 70s flick" then you have not experienced the glory that is

PHANTASM. Check out the special edition LD or DVD, then maybe you'll learn to appreciate PHANTASM and give it the respect it deserves. 10 out of 10 - perfect!!!!!!


A few years ago a friend and I rented Phantasm during our annual Halloween Horror movie night. By the end of the film both of us were quite confused by the movie. Due to our experience with the first movie we didn't bother renting any of the sequels. Now, years later, I rented Phantasm II and really enjoyed it, and having viewed that film I had a better understanding of the original. I decided to view Phantasm again so I bought it on DVD and I'm glad that I did. This is a very good independent horror movie. At times the acting is a bit thin (but not terrible) and the story still has some holes in it (ie questions that could use answering) but what it does have going for it is a creepy atmosphere and a director that knows how to use suspense.

Too many horror movies today, especially low budget ones, rely heavily on gore. Gore is good for shock value but it is rarely scary, just gross. Don Coscarelli provides one of the few times that gore is also scary with his flying silver orbs. But most of the time he relies on suspense to create his scares. This fact has quickly placed Phantasm I and II near the top on my favourite horror movies list.

If you have seen Phantasm and didn't like it I recommend watching Phantasm II then giving the original another try (mind you if you didn't like the first one you probably aren't reading this review). Phantasm I and II are fun, creepy, scary movies, I now hope that parts 3 to 5 are just as good. I give Phantasm a strong 7 out of 10.


"Phantasm" is a film that defined a generation of horror films to come. Don Coscarelli's vision, while implemented in a low-budget and thus low-key fashion, has proven to be a major influence on horror films of the '80s and '90s. The plot is original, the acting acceptable, the special effects teetering on the cheesy, yet still utterly entertaining, this film is a must-see for any true horror movie fan. The Spheres of "Phantasm" are one of the most memorable icons of the genre, and the "Tall Man" one of its most intriguing characters. The underappreciated sequel, "Phantasm II", as well as numbers III and IV serve to flesh out this masterpiece of horror. "Phantasm" is a B-movie classic, in the real of flicks such as the original "Nightmare on Elm Street" and the first "Friday the 13th".


I saw this movie when it came out in 1979 (ironically at the same drive-in theater I managed in 1990) and it scared the daylights out of me then, and it still creeps me out today! The plot is simple, the tall man is robbing graves, and making dwarf slaves out of the bodies, and it's up to Mike, Jody, and Reggie to stop him! This is the best installment of the series, and there isn't too much gore in this one. The possible exception is when the ball kills the care taker, but that is pretty mild by today's standards, so I wouldn't recommend it to little kids, or the faint of heart. The tall man ranks as a true classic horror character, along with Dracula, and Freddie Kruger. Angus Scrimm is the modern day Bela Lugosi in the respect we will remember him for scaring the pants off of us by playing a true horror villain!!


As a teacher of English, I regularly use the "Phantasm" movie series as a teaching tool in my classroom. The life lessons that can be learned from the adventures of Jody, Reg, and the Tall Man apply to almost every aspect of the language arts. Don't trip, go rent this movie today.


The first time i saw this movie was on cinemax 2 days before halloween. It has the best score and the filming is excellent. The plot keeps on going and never stops. Their is not one part in the whole film that is boring. I must say that since the first time i saw it I have bought it on tape and when I got a dvd player i bought it for that too. so if you are a true fan of horror you must see this film!


Ahhhhh, "Phantasm"! Quite a scary flick...I was first exposed to this little horror about 15 years ago by my Pop. I doubt that I will ever give a "horror" movie a 10, but this is as close as I have ever gotten. Tall Man is absolutely frightening and the "ball" is as fearsome an accessory as ever has appeared on screen. 10 times the fear factor of any hockey mask, hatchet or claw!

You could argue for days about why this film is scary; the acting is mediocre at best, the scenes can be confusing and the resolution isn't exactly spectacular--however, this movie gets under your skin! Although never heavy-handed, it forces your head back and twists it's way deep into your psyche, sure to rear it's ugly mug after the lights go out. The inexplicable appeal is probably somewhere to be found within the setting (funeral home), spooky music (gruesome sound-effects) and style. It's subtle eerie-ness is totally unnerving and the fact that your imagination is given just enough information to be dangerous doesn't help.

I spent weeks of my childhood, alone in bed, writhing beneath the blade of it's cold imagery. This is one that stays with you...whether you want it to or not. It's actually better on a second or third viewing, but I wouldn't recommend watching it very often. 9/10 for provoking my imagination in a way no other "horror" film ever has...


"Why We Had To Kill Bitch" is a funny movie with a good story. And what else do you really need these days? Many comedies out there tend to dumb-down just to get the easy laugh, but the director here takes the high road and is rewarded for it. I enjoyed "Bitch" quite a bit. I found the not only the story satisfying, but the characters as well. Some take a little time to grow on you, but by the end of the film you actually find yourself rooting for them.

Plus, being set in Pittsburgh and actually being a good movie gives it double points in my book as Pittsburgh is my hometown. It's nice to finally have a movie other than "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh (1979)."


If you love independent film and aren't humor-impaired, pop WWHTKB into your DVD player and settle in for a wild ride.

 From the bitchy bickering between roommates Stanley (John Yost) and Quentin (Greg Johnstone), and the emasculating meanness of Bitch (Kristin Pfeifer), to the oddly familiar depiction of a dead-end, minimum wages job (in this case a movie theatre), WWHTKB is humorous on the surface, and perceptive on a deeper level. Haven't we all found fault with a friend's significant other? Haven't most of us had male friends whose relationship dynamics were more akin to "catty" than "manly"? Who hasn't known women who, like Bitch, think of themselves as feminists when, in fact, they're really just bitchy? Haven't most of us endured the sheer torture of minimum wage existence and those "This can't really be my life" moments of being caught up in petty workplace drama? And who among us hasn't had a co-worker like "Todd" (WWHTKB direct JP Nickel in a cameo appearance), the little mousy guy who keeps to himself and doesn't say much, but whose darting eyes and maniacal glance hint he might well be on his way to 15 minutes of fame as stalker or serial murderer?

These are only a few of the reasons my husband and I loved WWHTKB, and why we'll watch it again and again. We received the DVD as a gift from a friend who had seen the film at the Barebones Film Festival in Muskogee, Oklahoma. As an American living in Europe, I'm always glad to get an independent film as a gift, but this one is so funny that I'm threatening to use it as a training tool for my young Swiss goddaughters: "See girls? This is what American guys are _really_ like . . ."

If you've not yet seen WWHTKB, rent or buy it and decide for yourself. Or, better yet, if you're in California, see it at the Gaffers' Film Festival. WWHTKB will screen at 11:30 p.m., Saturday, June 12, 2004, at the festival's host hotel: Sacramento Marriott Rancho Cordova, 11211 Point East Drive, Rancho Cordova, CA, 95742.


Unlike many of you online film nerds, I don't like most of the movies by Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino. I don't like buddy comedies. I have my own friends (and Pittsburgh friends, at that!) so I don't need to cinematic ally 'hang out' with a bunch of pals. I didn't think I would like Why We Had to Kill Bitch (rented at the lovely Dreaming Ant in Bloomfield) but I really, really did. There was just so much funny and in so many different ways. It was like Aqua Teen Ren and Stimpy weird-funny and Sienfeld situational-funny and lovable bittersweet-funny. It was well paced, free, random, and just a really pleasant surprise. I watched it twice, and caught a bunch of stuff for the first time the second time around. I tried to figure out were in Pittsburgh it was filmed. If anyone knows please post it. Great movie!


I had the extreme displeasure of attending the opening premiere of this film down at the Lowe's Waterfront theaters. One my way out of the theater, the woman woman behind the DVD sales booth asked if I wanted to buy a DVD copy. I quickly cried, "Hell no! I'll make a better one." Everyone posting positive comments about this film must have been directly involved in making (or even more painfully, funding) this production. Horrible writing. Horrible lighting. Horrible set design. Horrible technical work. Horrible acting. Horrible structure. Horrible concept. Horrible result. This trash is my answer whenever I'm asked, "What's the worst movie you've ever seen?" Close this browser window right now and never give this movie another thought. You're welcome.


Total garbage. I've lived in Pittsburgh for 3 years now and was excited to see this movie based on the positive feedback I had read. The night before renting "bitch" I had a lively discussion with friends and colleagues about the number of fun and interesting movies that have come out of this great city, including "Night of the Living Dead (1968)" "Robocop (1987)", "Gung Ho (1986)" and of course "Striking Distance (1993)". Maybe considering an indie alongside these movies was my first mistake.

The dialogue is painfully incoherent and boring. The acting is pathetic. The camera angles and overall cinematography were horrible. The whole concept of the guy behind the camera interacting with the main characters does not work at all. I could not get through this movie and recommend that you do not bother with this hack.


What a great indie film! As a fellow indie actor and producer, I understand how difficult it can be to turn a great idea into a great film. Something that Hollywood sometimes finds difficult to do, even with huge budgets, star talent, and tons of marketing effort. "Bitch" is not only a fantastic indie film, but it holds it's own against some large studio films.

Although I had nothing to do with the project and only had the pleasure of meeting J.P. once, I absolutely loved the story, liked the characters, and was very impressed with the overall quality and attention to detail. I have seen, been involved with, & tortured through hundreds of indie films and this one ranks in the "Watch it again and again" section.

Good job J.P.! Keep 'em coming!


This film is definitely worth a try. I saw it last year at a film festival and everyone in the audience was just like me...laughing out of our chairs. I have to say that I would change the title but the film itself should do well. We all loved Jp Nickel's dialogue the best. Such witty and fast paced stuff. really, really, try to get a copy if it ever comes out on DVD. Does anyone know if this "Bitch" movie is going to hit the stores? Check out the scene with the drowning person...it is hilarious. Nickel's acerbic wit is dry as hell. I love this guys voice. I heard he made another movie called "Grim". Anyone know anything about that one?


I first saw 'bitch' at a film festival in Oklahoma last year, and I must admit, I've enjoyed this movie over and over since that day. I am lucky enough to have this privilege since I own it on DVD! I have since moved to Georgia and I made sure to bring 'bitch' along with me! The film is so clever in its content and honestly funny, and you can just see the love that was put into making it. The hardworking gentlemen who created 'bitch' are amazing and deserve any credit you are willing to throw their way. For an independent film (or any film for that matter), this is really top-notch in my book. I definitely recommend it to anyone. So go rent it, buy it, love it. I promise you won't stop laughing. Bitch is a well-oiled machine, to say the least.


I'm not going to pretend that "Bitch" doesn't have its faults... it has quite a few (one of them being -- strangely, for an independent film -- the fact that it's *too* well shot for a "documentary"), but damn if it wasn't enjoyable.

I get sent a LOT of low budget and indie movies, and most of them I can barely struggle through. I've actually held onto my copy of this one, as it's genuinely funny, isn't trying to copy Kevin Smith or Tarantino, and has some thought put into the script.

Like I say, it's not a perfect film, but I'm keeping my eye on JP Nickel. He's going to do some great stuff in the future.