I was very lucky that my stepfather was an amazing human being because he stepped up and kept me safe all the times that my mother wasn't in her right mind. He took on a lot of physical abuse that could have very easily been directed at me.To be clear my dad was awesome too but he split custody with my mom, he got me half the year and she got me the other half. There wasn't much he could do other than worry and be ready to pick me up when things went to hell.This is a combination of two separate events that are book ends in my childhood, the first time I called my dad to come and get me and the last time I called my dad to come and get me, as I remember them.The first time I was in second grade and living in Northern California with my mother and stepfather.Things had been going steadily downhill and somehow we ended up living in a trailer with no running water or electricity. I didn't mind much, we had a wood stove and a spring. I chopped wood and hauled water every morning before I rode my horse down to mountain to take the bus to school (one of our neighbors let me turn her out in their paddock).I was a pretty self sufficient child. My stepfather worked as a logger and was gone for a week or two at a time.My mom worked odd jobs, she really couldn't hold anything down consistently so there was really no rhyme or reason to her coming and going.I spent a lot of time in the woods with my dogs because no one really lived close enough for me to hang out with.Generally speaking my sense of direction is very good but one day I got a little further away than normal and had fallen asleep.By the time I woke up it was late enough in the day that I couldn't tell the direction of the light.Knowing that it would get cold quickly I found a hollow tree (hooray for redwoods) and hunkered down with my dogs to wait out the night.The next morning I thought I had found the original stream I had been following and set off confidently up stream.I was wrong and accidentally stumbled onto an illegal pot growing operation. A snare trap got one of my dogs and while I was getting him out I heard barking getting closer.As soon as we were clear my dogs and I hauled ass back the way we came, running in the stream bed as much as possible to try and lose the other dogs which I am sure were guard dogs.Eventually we made it back to the hollow tree and I decided to stay put.The next day I waited thinking surely someone would come looking for me.I stocked up on wild strawberries and mushrooms (some of our neighbors were mycologists and I spent a lot of time mushroom hunting with them).I stayed there all day and most of the next before I decided to try again.I set out cautiously in the opposite direction that I had taken before and found a spot where the streams came together. I followed the other stream and after a few hours my dogs began to perk up and walk ahead of me.I finally started to recognize some of the trees and rocks. I was never so happy in my life to see our trailer.I ran up expecting a lecture or a hug, something, no one was there.No one had been there the whole time I was gone.My oatmeal bowl was dried and crusted on the counter. The stove was cold and dead. My horse had jumped the paddock gate in search of food and was gone.I was still alone.So I cleaned up, fed the dogs, started a fire and fed myself.I started packing up the few things I owned and walked down the mountain to use the neighbor's phone to call my dad.Thankfully they had my horse so I didn't have to walk back and they offered to take care of my horse and my dogs after my dad came to get me.My dad picked me up as soon as he was able (something like 12 hours after I called) and I was just happy to be alive and uninjured.A few months later my mom came out of the wood work with a sob story saying she had taken a job out of town because she thought my stepfather would have been back to take care of me and that the whole thing was a misunderstanding.She flatly refused to hear anything about my harrowing three day involuntary primitive camping trip, somehow convincing herself that such a thing couldn't have happened.She convinced me to give living with her another chance, this time in Arizona directly across the river from Laughlin, Nevada.Good old Bull Head City. The monsoon rain was amazing and the desert was vast and weird. Everyone hung out at the river all the time and I had lots of friends.My stepfather had a local job and was home more often which was nice but with my mom it was same old bs different day.She bounced around causing trouble and drinking. She would still disappear randomly but this time it was because she was with u2018friends'.I didn't mind so much, I had my own bedroom and bathroom. Our house was an old airstream trailer that someone had added on to and I basically got the trailer half to myself.During the summer my mom would kick me out of the house to go u2018play' but it was stupid hot out side so I secretly dug a tunnel under the house and made that my hang out.I ran an extension chord out my window and set it up with a fan and Christmas lights.I would sit in the hole for hours a reading or drawing, at first because mom wanted me out of the house and then later because mom was fighting with my stepfather 24/7.It eventually went from bad to worse, she came after him with a kitchen knife and legitimately did her best to kill him.I climbed out the window with the phone and called 911, at this point I was pretty sure my stepfather was dead.Mom was arrested, my stepfather was taken by ambulance to the hospital and was apparently out for a few days (to his credit the first thing he did when was coherent was call my dad to check on me).I stayed out of the way and waited for someone to tell me what to do.Eventually everyone left.I don't know if they thought I was a neighbor kid or if the 911 dispatcher somehow missed the fact that a child made the call but I was surprised that no one questioned me or even asked if I had someone to stay with.So I waited.It was too creepy to stay in the house by myself so I took food out to my hole and lived there for a few days.I eventually gave up on child services or anyone official coming to get me and called my dad to pick me up.Once he found out what had happened he was furious, I don't think I have ever seen my dad quite that angry or scared.My mom dropped off the face of the planet for about two years, my understanding is that she ended up in a psychiatric ward instead of traditional prison and was granted a reduced sentence (again, no one seemed to realize there was a child involved in all of this).She called up wanting me to live with her again but I told her no.My dad supported my decision and called her bluff.She backed down, thankfully, but was completely unrepentant and angry at me for not being loyal to her.Despite all this and a thousand less intense hurts and traumas, I still held onto a shred of hope that one day my mom would get it together and be a decent person.I fully let go of that childish hope when I had my own children and she threatened to kidnap them and burn my house down because I was, in her words, an ungrateful daughter.I cut her, and anyone that maintained regular contact with her from my life completely, including my aunt, uncle and grandmother.I haven't talked to any of them in over a decade and I have to say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.I wish I could go back in time and tell my child self to just walk away and stay away.Some people are just mad, bad and dangerous to know and just because someone gave birth to you doesn't mean you owe them your life.