Get a setting for a hearing in front of the judge, send your spouse notice by certified mail, send another copy via email, and then present the QDRO at that time.  Take your proof of notice of the hearing to the judge (the certifed mail receipt and the email).  If you have any email notes about him refusing to sign it, take those with you as well.  Judge should then sign it after you can demonstrate an intentional effort on his part to avoid the entry of the QDRO.