One can understand your distress, but it is of paramount importance that you appreciate and empathise what she must be going through. Rape, is a very stressful horrifying experience, and the woman is absolutely at no fault, and there is no way she can be held responsible or punished for this, and it is must that you understand that her distress and trauma is very high, and she would need a total understanding and support from your side. I think you must take some counseling from an expert and handle your conflicts so that the relationship is not affected, and be supportive to her.