Your goal is to say things that will help and encourage your child. In some cases, however, you may make comments that have the opposite effect without even realizing it.   There is no excuse for ADHD, but ADHD can often explain why kids do or do not do certain things. ADHD impacts self-control. As a result, kids with ADHD often fail to take control of what they do or what happens to them. It's one thing if your child does something bad on purpose. But if it isn't, you are sending the message that whatever happened, it was your child's fault.   While most people lose focus once in a while, kids with ADHD do it frequently. Avoid saying, "Everyone gets distracted sometimes." It's easy for them to get distracted—and it often results in problems at school, with friends, or at home. While you may want to make your child feel less alone, this comment can backfire because, unlike other kids, your child is often distracted.