Make sure that you come on time and that your phone is off. It can be awkward and inappropriate to try to make small talk with your bereaved friends at this time. You really don’t need to say much. Follow their lead. The main thing is that you are there for them. Instead of chatting with your neighbor about the weather, it is appropriate to recite Psalms. Many funeral homes have books of Psalms available for your use. As a sign of mourning, the immediate mourners (spouse, parents, siblings and children) perform keriya, tearing their clothing over the chest—for example, a collar, pocket or lapel. The torn garment will be worn by the children of the deceased for the duration of the weeklong shivah mourning period.