Emotional manipulation is the narcissist’s primary weapon. We've all met the occasional jerk - someone who might be blunt, insensitive, or even obnoxious. They might not care much about your feelings or needs at the moment, but that doesn't necessarily make them a narcissist. A jerk can have a bad day, be unaware of their behavior, or simply lack some social graces. A narcissist, on the other hand, is someone who meets at least five of the nine criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The DSM-5 states that in order to be clinically diagnosed with NPD, a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and that present in a variety of contexts, must be shown by at least five of the following: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. - exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Believes that he, she, or they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) Requires excessive admiration Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. - unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations) Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e. - takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends) Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes It’s important to understand that this is a deeper issue than just occasional bad behavior. It's a consistent pattern of self-serving behavior with no regard for the harm they are causing others. Imagine the classic telenovela villain – always plotting, scheming, and manipulating. But in real life, emotional manipulation isn't always that obvious. A narcissist can play the victim, guilt-trip you, gaslight, or make you doubt your own feelings and perceptions. They know how to pull the strings, often making you feel like you're the one who is always to blame for their bad behavior. They are notorious for manipulating you with surgical precision, and no matter how many receipts you present, they will never take accountability for any of their behavior or the harm they caused.