1) Whether the bank can take the money out of your account if you don't pay the mortgage on time is dependent entirely on your loan, account, and other agreements with the bank. It is legal and not uncommon, when you have a loan and an account with the same bank, for the agreement(s) to say that if the payment on the loan is late, the money may be debited from your account. Check the paperwork and/or ask the banker to point to the terms or provisions allowing this. If you signed anything allowing this, they can do it.2) It is probably inappropriate for the banker to offer you life advice, but if your account was properly open in front of her because she was reviewing it, it's not clear you'd have a legal cause of action (though you could complain to higher management). You may wish to also consider--regardless of whether her advice was proper or not--whether she has a point. Even people who are rude and nosy can be right, and if the these "facts" pop out at someone looking at your account, it's possible you could reduce some costs.