It seems that the desire to walk out of the relationship is high but you are finding it difficult to take this step. Try focusing on what it is that is making you stay on in the relationship even after realising that you are betraying your family and friend. When you say that you wish to stop communicating with your lover but can not, what you start experiencing are symptoms of withdrawal from the addiction you have vis a vis the lover. It is significant for you to learn to deal with these emotions and thus move forward. There are two parts to the way in which you can end the affair. The first part is not seeing or communicating with the lover again for a certain predetermined length of time and the second part is getting through the symptoms of withdrawal after the separation takes place. Once you've broken up, you are bound to go through a grief cycle. So prepare yourself for that phase.