Potentially you might have a basis for seeking a restraining order against the family member from having the book published about you as an invasion of your right to privacy since you have not given consent to have such information provided to the public at large. I suggest that you consult with an attorney experienced in publication law and personal injury.Unfortunately comments about your deceased child can be published in that you have no legal standing (basis) for stopping reference to the deceased child. If the child was alive she would possibly have a basis for stopping references about her in the book.