Yelling itself isn’t necessarily abusive but can be part of a broader abusive pattern. Things to watch for include: Yelling that contains hurtful personal insults, cursing, mockery or threats One partner uses yelling to control, manipulate or intimidate the other Making one partner feel afraid to engage for fear of the yelling reaction Yelling continued despite requests to stop You deserve to feel safe in your marriage. Listen to your instincts if you think things have progressed to abuse.