When a person is ready to bring a loved one's ashes into the home, unexpected emotions might arise. Keeping cremains at home can ignite conflicting feelings of both comfort and loss. It might help to prepare by thinking about the call to pick up cremains, imagining the drive home with them and having a trusted friend or family member with you to carry them into the house.
It may also help to know that even professionals who deal with loss every day can be blindsided by the emotional task of picking up cremains.
'It was the call.' Ira Woods, president and founder of OneWorld Memorials remembers. 'I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't expecting it. I was lost in my day - then bam!'
When the funeral home called to inform him that his wife's ashes were ready to be picked up, Woods momentarily froze. 'I felt devastated. It was at that moment when I had to accept it was final. Kris wasn't away on a vacation; she was gone for good. The proof was that I had to pick up her cremains.'
Woods knew the funeral home would call one day, but the raw reality of receiving the phone call, driving to the funeral home, then being handed a box with the ashes touched a loss deeper than he had ever expected. Situations like this can be difficult to prepare for - and they will be as unique as you are.
Therefore, it's not easy to anticipate exactly how you will feel when that call comes, or how the drive to the crematorium will feel. While receiving cremains or cremated ashes can be very personal, it is important to never feel like it is something you have to do alone. If you don't feel prepared to receive the ashes, it may be worth discussing with a family member or friend who can receive them for you.
Knowing a few details about the procedure of picking up cremains can make this task less frightening. Here are answers to some frequently posed questions about bringing your loved one's ashes home: