A history of complex trauma can predict difficulty with romantic partners and relationships. Complex trauma manifests itself in different behaviors (i.e., emotional dysregulation) that can be unpredictable and extreme. The behavior appears unpredictable to others as these traumas lay under the surface and subconsciously drive interactions. Reminders of traumas or triggers can be found even in mildly stressful interactions in your everyday environment with loved ones.
Those who have experienced complex trauma often have difficulty emotionally regulating. Therefore, it may seem like they are overreacting (becoming intensely emotional or acting in ways that aren’t matched up with the severity of the situation) without the ability to think of the consequences or understand they are in a triggered state. These reactions are a learned defensive tactic to protect. Often, these reactions become problematic or detrimental in adult relationships.
People with complex trauma often externalize, internalize, or disassociate as stress reactions. Externalizing behaviors are directed to another person or the individual’s environment. Internalizing behaviors attempt to control emotions from within. Lastly, disassociation is the removal of oneself from the situation mentally and emotionally. Disassociation is often described as an ‘out-of-body experience.’ These stress reactions are attempts to self-regulate. Unfortunately, these learned behaviors can be ineffective in coping with stress in our adult relationships.