You don't necessarily have to keep in contact with your parents, but someone associated with the estate will need to know how to contact you in the event that your grandfather does pass away.  Instead of keeping up with your parents, maybe you can discuss with your grandfather a way for you to stay in touch with the executor. As far as traveling back to the state to retrieve an inheritance-- this will depend on what the inheritance is and the funds available to the executor to get that gift to you. If the inheritance is a check, then they can just mail that to you as long as you are not concerned about it getting lost in the mail.  If the gift is large, like an antique car, you will probably have to make arrangements for the delivery of the car.  You can take a friend or arrange a service to bring it to you.  You can pick the method which fits your comfort level with your family situation. Absent specific delivery instructions set out in the will, the only obligation of the executor is to give it to you when you come to claim it... not necessarily to pay out of their pocket the delivery expenses.