If you see your partner withdrawing from you, or they’re always hiding and locking their phone, you may suspect something. Look again at the above signs and see if they apply to your situation. Sheri Shritof continues her advice to watch out for these signs: Your partner starts withdrawing from you or criticizing you. Your partner acts secretive or hides their phone or shuts down the computer screen suddenly when you’re around. Your partner is interested in certain technology or hobbies seemingly out of the blue. Your partner seems to always work extra hours on a “project” with “a friend.” This friend of your partner’s gets mentioned a lot. You seem to hear much about this person’s opinions (and yours seems to count less and less). Your gut tells you something is going on. You’re normally trusting and do not get jealous easily, but this definitely feels off to you. When you try to discuss any of these things with your partner, it is met with defensiveness, or you’re made to feel crazy. Now, nothing happens in a vacuum. Meaning, an emotional affair doesn’t just appear out of nowhere when everything is awesome. An emotional affair usually filling some sort of hole or need.