It is a commonly held myth that children can decide which parent they want to live with at around the age of 12 or 13. This is actually untrue. Children technically do not have the right to decide this question until they reach the age of majority, which in Alberta is 18. However, the closer children get to 18, the more courts want to hear about their concerns and preferences. Courts will strongly consider the wishes of a 16-year-old, for example. But a court's overriding consideration when deliberating about where a child should live is a principle, entrenched in law, called the "best interests of the child". This principle is more fully outlined in Alberta's Family Law Act, section 18, which describes the criteria that courts consider when determining the best interests of a child. Of concern, though, is this persistent belief that young children should have the ability to choose which parent. Putting this decision in their hands can create emotional scars and heightened stress. Young teenagers have not matured enough to withstand the strain of such a decision, and they have not developed the mental capacity yet to make a reasonable choice. Nor should they be coached or encouraged to choose one parent over the other. While children's needs and concerns should be heard and understood, as we say in legal and psychology circles, children have a voice but not a choice. It can be traumatizing to put the burden of such a significant choice on a child.