I am so sorry for your situation.  I think that it may be best for you to seek advice from an attorney in your area on the matter.  No one can tel you what you should do only give you your options under your particular set of circumstances.  Surely you do not have to sit there and wait for him to lose control of his temper physically as he has done verbally.  So decide if you want to separate or divorce or get counseling.  That is your decision here.  An attorney can only tell you how to make that happen within the confines of your case if you should decide that that is the route to take and if the situation can give rise to grounds for divorce.  Good luck to you.