Don’t feel guilty about saying or doing something when attending funeral services that causes a loved one to cry or if you cry. Crying is healthy. If, however, you find yourself weeping uncontrollably (you’re causing a scene or making other mourners uncomfortable), it is polite to excuse yourself until you regain control. The cardinal rule is to ensure the focus is on the survivors, not on you and your grief. You are there to console the family, so don’t put them in the awkward position of consoling you.