There are some key steps when using Goodtimer. Setting the Expectations – After receiving Goodtimer, you read the included Children’s book and set your house rules. Simple & clear rules typically work best.  Some examples include “Use kind and gentle words”, Be a first-time listener, or Keep your bedroom tidy.Make Connections – Once the house rules are set, it’s time to make the connection to work towards things that interest him.  This is where you create the token sheet and fill it with incentives that he would like to work for. When your son realizes that making good choices is linked to earning incentives that matter to him, he’ll want to make the positive choice more often. Reinforce the expectation of the house rule (ex: Use kind and gentle words) and calmly walk away.  For example: “Turn over your Goodtimer. You can’t earn Good Time again until you use Kind and Gentle Words. It's up to you. When you’re ready to use kind and gentle words, you can turn Goodtimer over again.  If you need help let me know, I’ll be in the other room.”   The most important thing is having the kids realize that it’s up to them.  In our experience, If the motivation is there and the kid gets to feel like they have a choice, they’ll choose the positive outcome.  Also, if you continue to engage, even by yelling, with a child who is throwing a tantrum, in a way it's giving them the attention they crave.  Walking away typically helps diffuse the situation faster.