A tip from the heart: make the children your focus and do not lose sight of their needs in spite of any grievances you may have. Personal tip: make sure to compile as much documentation as possible before the separation, knowledge will be very valuable in any upcoming proceedings. It helps enormously for the purposes of refuting specific claims and making calculations. Seek advice early on, even if it is to arrange a non-binding consultation. At the Women's Center, for example, women can get initial low-cost, low-threshold counseling to learn what they would face in the event of a divorce.
In discussions with clients, it quickly becomes obvious which couples have already discussed the legal issues beforehand. They often fare better in finding a joint and constructive solution – one that also benefits their children.