The psychological and emotional pain (and resulting anger and depression) is compounded when a divorce comes as a surprise to one of the parties. Both of you will be served by discussing (with an experienced professional) the decision to separate and processing the loss of the relationship/family hopes and dreams. This hard work will enable both of you to navigate the many difficult life-restructuring decisions with more clarity. People inevitably have an intense need to reflect and learn from relationships that ended, as part of a healing process that supports them in moving forward and re-defining themselves. By doing some of this work ahead of time and acting on this divorce tip, you can prevent the wounds from growing deeper and facilitate the healing process.