Oh no, no, no, no, no!  The trustee is under a fiduciary obligation to carry put the wishes of the decedent and the terms of the trust.  He or she can not use the money to live on for for his or her own benefit in violation of the trust and every other law I can think of!  You need to seek help from an attorney in your area as soon as you possibly can.  Bring with you the trust agreement with you.  Let him or her discuss the trust within the confines of the law in New York State.  You need to speak about either compelling the trustee to disburse the proceeds of the trust or remove the trustee for breaching their fiduciary duty.  Good luck to you.