In Massachusetts, if that was agreed to, it should be specifically listed in the seperation agreement.  If it is, you can simply go to the court clerk's office and request a certified copy of the seperation agremeent that was filed with the court.  If it was not specifically listed in the agreement, you may be able to file a complaint for modification of the agreement, and supplement it with a written agreement to forgo the QDRO signed by both you and your ex-wife and the judge.   You would then need to request a certified copy of that agreement.