There are many ways to play with control that don’t demand pain at all. Orgasm control for example is very much an expression of Dominance and Submission without any pain being used at all. Completing tasks, looking after a dominant and letting them command you to kiss their feet/undress for them/masturbate for them are all wonderful ways to play with your submissive nature without the need for pain. Punishment, if you want that, can come in the form of lines, sitting in the naughty corner or not being allowed treats like orgasms again, pain doesn’t have to be part of the play.