The following are common causes for the mother-in-dominating law's behavior: When a mother-in-law believes she is losing her role as the major lady in her son's life, she becomes bossy and devious. In such a case, the mother-in-law feels compelled to exert control over her son and his marriage. Also, when a mother-in-law feels her daughter-in-law isn't giving her proper respect, she will use her power incorrectly to get it. For example, if a mother-in-law thinks her daughter-in-law isn't showing her love by visiting often enough or not at all, she might punish her by refusing to take her side in arguments or by reporting her behavior to her husband. This gives the father reason to dislike his daughter-in-law and not visit with her either. Finally, a mother-in-law can be controlling because of personal issues. If she was never given attention or love as a child, she will try to make up for it by controlling others too late in life. Such a woman might criticize her son's wife for doing things the way she did as a girl (i.e., walk around the house wearing makeup) instead of accepting that she's an adult now with different needs. Women need to understand that no matter how much they love their sons or daughters-in-law, they cannot control them.