there really is no “age” that a child can decide which parent he or she wants to live with. This isn’t to say that the child’s custody preference isn’t a factor, it absolutely is, given the court deems the child to be of “reasonable intelligence, understanding, age, and experience to express a preference.” But it is just one factor of several that the Court uses to decide custody arrangements in Virginia.
This is very different from the portrayal of custody matters on television. In the movies, the child states their choice and then that’s exactly what the court decides. In Virginia, however, the Judge uses the following factors to make a decision regarding custody: the age, physical conditions, and mental health of the child and parents, the child’s relationship with each parent, the child’s needs, the role each parent has played in the child’s life, each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent and the parent’s ability to cooperate in the raising of the child, any acts of domestic or sexual abuse by the parent, the child’s preference, and any other factors the court deems relevant.