Not only can you, I require it—and here’s why. I've found that spouses feel freer to talk (plus they get more time) when the other spouse isn’t there. This, in turn, allows me to get the full scope of what’s going on in their relationship. But the main reason I do this is because building a better marriage rests with the individual. Too many couples go to marriage counseling to get the other person to change. That is not effective, and this is not marriage counseling. This is coaching. My seeing couples individually does not mean you have a private space to blame your spouse. When you tell me something, it cannot be in confidence (unless you’re in harm’s way, in which case I would pass you on to the appropriate expert for help). I will freely share what we discuss one-one-one with your spouse as a means of helping him or her understand your needs and concerns. I have found this method to be the most effective.