Allow her to explain herself, examine her health (mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual), and consider factors that may have made it difficult or impossible for her to achieve what she was expected to do. You can be merciful, but you must exercise caution. Don't allow her get away with making excuses because you're weak. That only encourages her to continue this behavior. Discipline your wife by setting limits on her behavior and holding her accountable to those limits. Discipline her in love and honor, not in anger or resentment. When you discipline your wife, keep in mind that you are helping her learn how to live responsibly and give her guidance so that she can walk safely through the world. Here are a few tips for effective discipline: Be specific. Tell your wife exactly what she has done wrong and why it is unacceptable. Merely saying "That's not nice" or "Stop that!" is not enough information for her to understand why she is being punished. Even if she did something terrible, you cannot predict what might happen if you don't tell her why she is being punished. She could hurt herself or others in an attempt to get back at you. Don't go beyond what she knows about. Using terms such as "always" or "never" makes discipline too strict or lenient. Only give her guidelines as to what is acceptable behavior; then let her decide what course of action to take.