According to research, we are typically drawn to partners who appear familiar to us and have characteristics similar to our parents. One of the reasons people are drawn to emotionally unavailable spouses is because of the romantic role models they received as children. In other words, they want to marry their mother! If your parents were never married, then it's probable that you're looking to marry someone who has some sort of relationship with his or her father too. Even if your own father is alive, if he's a cold person who doesn't care about you or your mother, then you'll likely be attracted to an equally cold spouse. Emotionally unavailable partners don't feel compelled to understand how we feel, nor do they try to learn about us through conversation. They also tend to minimize our feelings by telling us not to get so attached to things. People look for emotional support from others in order to feel safe and secure. If someone is unwilling to listen to us when we talk, or refuses to show us any affection, then we have no reason to believe that they will ever change. We should be willing to put ourselves out there and risk being rejected in order to find love. But if you expect everyone you meet to be ready to jump into a marriage without thinking things through first, then you'll likely end up alone.