The state has no interest in or control over who is paid pursuant to a life insurance policy. If you were designated by your ex-wife as her beneficiary by name, and that was never revoked, you are the beneficiary. On the other hand, if you were identified as beneficiary as "my husband," then regardless of her last wishes, you would not get the proceeds--you are no longer her husband, and so would not be the designated "my husband" beneficiary.