Unfortunately, your HOA, etc. violations are not considered protected, confidential, or private in any legally enforceable way. While it is completely natural and understandable why you do not want them shared, there is no law preventing them from going to your ex and your tenants. Indeed, it actually is correct for the HOA to notify them, since their rights (e.g. to keep residing there [tenants], or to an interest in the property [if you ex is also an owner, even if not on the mortgage; and which he may also be expeted to have rights as a spouse, if the HOA is not aware that you and he divorced]) could be impacted by the violations. The law requires that anyone whose rights could be affected must be sent notice. Therefore, there is no action you can take for this.