There is a distinction between a stricter parent and one that is completely controlling. Controlling parents, according to Esther Boykin, MFT, a marriage and family therapist, are those that "don't give space for their children to have their own emotional experience and acquire a feeling of autonomy." Strict parents, on the other hand, will "allow certain behaviors" but will also "enforce rules by taking actions such as grounding a child or withholding love." Controlling parents try to make their children feel bad about themselves if they don't obey every command. They may say terrible things like "You're just like your father," or "You'll never be able to pay back this debt." In contrast, strict parents understand that their children are individuals and do not intend to hurt them. They know that sometimes people make mistakes and act in ways they cannot explain. Rather than focusing on what their children can't do, they encourage them to try new things and support their efforts. Strict parents also have high expectations for their children. They expect them to follow rules and behave properly, but at the same time, they protect them from harm. If someone hurts their child, the strict parent will fight for justice even if it means taking on the government or another person's institution. Finally, controlling parents try to run everyone else's life too.