You should have a talk with some older person close to you. It may be an uncle or aunt or a friend of your parents. It may be a teacher in school who has been kind to you. I do feel that you are in need of some guidance and I am not sure that this kind of long distance communication is adequate. You should concentrate on your studies. A medical course is very demanding and requires all your time. It is best to get along with your work. If somebody asks for your help, you should certainly give it, but not spend more time and energy than you give for your own studies. Friendship is based on give and take, but one should give help at the appropriate time and take help when it is needed. Things cannot substitute for affection, but can only be used as tokens of it. Talk over your problems with someone you can trust. Remember that as a student, your first duty is to do your best in your studies and to learn enough to make your living in the healing profession.