You suffer from a mood disorder, it appears. This characteristic fast thinking is due to the illness and initially makes a person feel very good, confident and efficient but if you stop taking medicine prescribed to you will soon deteriorate and be harmful to you. The medicine does not affect the intelligence but the illness can affect you such that you may not use your intelligence constructively. This in fact can erode your confidence and self esteem.
Oliment slows down the abnormally fast brain which if not checked goes out of your control causing serious complications in life. The best way to enhance your self esteem is to control your illness by medicines prescribed to you because they correct the chemical imbalance in the brain of substances controlling our mood thinking and behaviour and be as productive in life as you can.