I realise discovering that I may have blocked you on one or more social media platforms might not feel especially great, but the most important take-away here is that it’s not personal. Ultimately my social media needs to feel at least moderately safe in order for me to be able to use it, which means making extensive use of the tools available to me, like muting, restricting and blocking. But, again, that’s about me and my space. It’s not about you.
As to the whys and wherefores, the most likely explanation is that you tagged me in something you shouldn’t have tagged me in, like a negative review (please don’t misunderstand: I fully support your right to say whatever you like about my books, but I also support my own right to control what I see on my social media), or you said something kinda gross to me on multiple occasions (or, rather, that you said something that came across to me as kinda gross: I’m sure you didn’t actually intend to, but it’s hard to know how to address that).
Please do understand that I’m not a punitive blocker. It’s not my business what you say about me, or my books, in your own spaces. I think it’s perfectly normal for readers to love some aspects of an author’s work and not others, although, for the record, I will think it’s kind of weird if you’re very viscerally 100% hating me everywhere except to my face. All I’m really attempting to do is create some boundaries around the things people get to say directly *to* me, especially if they’re saying hurtful or uncomfortable-making things (however accidentally) or flagrantly disregarding the “don’t tag authors in negative reviews” convention.
Of course, I’m also well-aware that people make mistakes, and perhaps something you posted or tagged me in came across badly to me in ways which you didn’t intend. Mary and I try to err on the side of assuming the best but tone is hard to read on social media and, unfortunately, we can’t always take good faith for granted.
If you want to open a dialogue about this you’re more than welcome to email Mary. Just be aware that this does not guarantee an unblocking and, while I will in no way expect a walk of social media shame, I will need you to try and understand where I was coming from as regards the block in the first place. The conversation will not go well if you insist that the problem is me being over-sensitive, failing to recognise you were joking, or that it was totes cool to call me [slur] because you call your friends [slur] all the time. I don’t actually like blocking people, but I don’t feel I need to defend my right to protect myself in my own online spaces.
In terms of why I moved to block, rather than addressing the problem with you directly: I’ve tried to do this in the past and I can count on the fingers of ZERO hands the times it has gone well for either of us. I just think there’s no scenario in the world in which Alexis Hall, sliding into your DMs, to express mild consternation over something you’ve said is going to feel good. At best, it’ll be upsetting, at worst it’ll be that a random author came into your space explicitly to criticise you. Honestly, I don’t want to have that argument with you and you don’t want to have it with me.
That’s why I’m leaving the metaphorical sports thing in your metaphorical sports court. If you feel a conversation is warranted here, it will have to be on your terms. Mary’s email is open and we are listening.