Every communication is divided into two tiers. There are always two messages when you communicate (verbally or in writing): the relationship message and the content message. Every communication you send and receive contains a content message as well as a relationship message 100% of the time. Understanding these two messages will help you to improve your communication skills and avoid common pitfalls. The relationship message is what you say about the other person. It tells others who they are dealing with, their likes and dislikes, and how you feel about them. This information allows the recipient to understand your intentions and know how to respond appropriately. For example, if you tell someone that you like them or dislike them, then they will know how to act around you. Content messages are what you actually want to convey to the other person. They describe a fact or idea - something that has already happened or will happen in the future. These messages allow the other person to understand your needs and wants while keeping the conversation moving along. For example, if you wanted to tell someone that you were running late, but didn't want to worry them by saying "I'm sorry I'll be late", you would say "I have an appointment at noon". The relationship message is telling the person that you have a job and life outside of talking with them, while still showing that you care about them enough to let them know what's going on with you.