This isn't the kind of question anyone can answer very well without knowing a lot more about the situation.  I'm not a Tennessee lawyer, and there differences in law between states might make a difference in this one as well.  So you need to get all the facts in front of an attorney in your area, one who does divorce and child custody cases, for good advice about what to do next.  You can find qualified lawyers in a number of places, including our website, http://attorneypages.comOrdinarily, the courts don't usually listen to a 3-year-old.  But if there's a history of abuse or neglect, and there's reason to believe that the mother isn't ready for this, the court will at least take a look at the situation.