You may be blaming yourself for the meditation in the sense of “I'm not doing it right” or “I don't know how to stay focused”. You may be blaming yourself as a person: “I never get it right” or “Nobody loves me”. Your mind can create very convincing stories and give you the idea that it is an objective observer or coach. But in the end it is only a comparison with a created ideal image that is stored within yourself. Comparisons are very restrictive, because they are judgments.