If a judge needs to intervene in your divorce settlement, many factors will be considered. Generally, this can be avoided if you can work out the terms of your divorce settlement amicably with your spouse. However, factors that the judge might consider include:
Both parent's income and expenses
Both parent's physical health
Both parent's mental health
Which parent primarily cares for the children
Both parent's opportunities to enjoy quality time with the children
The judge will not look at you as the husband and demand that you be responsible for giving up your home, paying alimony, and having no child custody or visitation rights.
Instead, judges look at your case with a gender-neutral view. They will always do what they believe to be in the best interests of your children. That said, the judge does not know you or your family. If you can work out an agreement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you should do so.