This is never a good idea. The most obvious reason is simply that you and your spouse are on opposing sides of the case. Even if you’re having a relatively amicable divorce, you and your spouse still have conflicting interests that need to be settled. So your spouse’s lawyer is in no position to help you; he or she is required to be loyal only to your spouse. Lawyers have an ethical, professional duty not to speak with opposing lawyer’s clients during a case.
If you phone your spouse’s lawyer, he or she will most likely respond, “I’m not permitted to speak with you.” However, there’s the danger that you may inadvertently give the lawyer clues as to your priorities and concerns in the case. The last thing you want is to give the other side any advantage over you.
If your lawyer is out of town but you feel that your question is urgent, leave a message at his or her office. Most lawyers check messages regularly even when away from the office and return calls as soon as possible. If yours doesn’t, however, ask another lawyer in the firm or an associate of your lawyer. A clerk or paralegal may also be able to help you, depending on the question. If no one else in the law firm can help you, then your best bet is to contact a lawyer outside the case for a neutral answer or opinion. Many lawyers offer free initial consultations.
Before you try these routes, of course, be sure that your question really is urgent. If it can wait until your lawyer gets back, be patient: Your lawyer is still the best person to answer it, as he or she is the most familiar with the details of your case.
If your lawyer is frequently unavailable and unresponsive to your questions and concerns, then it may be time to get a new lawyer. But never ask your spouse’s lawyer for advice – at best, it achieves nothing; at worst, you’re revealing too much information to the other side and harming your chances for a fair outcome.