On the Australian-based nonprofit website SANE.org, a writer gives a firsthand account of what living with dissociative identity disorder actually feels like.
The unnamed blogger describes living with DID as having a major impact on their memory — they often engage in behaviors and activities they simply don’t recall, such as moving furniture around in their home, getting a grocery delivery they don’t remember ordering or having a childhood pet.
Another person living with DID named B.J. describes that before she was formally diagnosed, she tried to rationalize the disordered thoughts, memory issues and dramatic mood swings she was experiencing. From HealthyPlace she states, “I convinced myself that the things that happened to me, that was completely baffling and unexplainable, happened to everyone.” B.J. tried to normalize her symptoms of DID by reasoning that everyone loses track of time, owns items they can’t remember buying and has sudden, extreme shifts in their desires and goals.
Others with dissociative identity disorder describe experiencing vivid nightmares, having frequent panic attacks and feeling suicidal on a regular basis.