Empathy is a word we all know but one many of us have never given much thought to. It’s often used interchangeably with or mistaken for sympathy, but the difference between these two words is significant.
Empathy fuels connection, while sympathy drives disconnection. Empathy is required for unity, and sympathy is often used to maintain division. An empathetic response is feeling with someone instead of engaging in judgment or jumping to conclusions. It’s a choice to be vulnerable and to feel, even if you have never experienced a similar situation—and especially if someone’s life or circumstances differ greatly from yours.
Sympathy includes any combination of sorrow, pity, and judgment. It is often accompanied by looking down on, minimizing, or explaining away a person’s experience. In the name of trying to “help” we may skip past the discomfort of the moment or what they have shared and go straight to trying to make things better. A sympathetic response can make matters worse, leaving the person feeling alone and misunderstood.
An empathetic response prioritizes connection. It can be a simple as saying “I don’t know what to say but I’m so happy you shared that with me.”, leaving the person who has shared feeling heard and understood. Then, follow up in a timely manner to see how things are progressing.