I am so sorry you are still feeling lingering sensations related to the harm you experienced. It is understandable that you want the uncomfortable sensations and memories of being touched to go away. Unwanted sexual experiences can leave a person feeling very distressed, and it's common for survivors to feel like they can still feel sensations even after the abuse has ended. Know that these feelings can fade with time, but we will discuss a couple strategies and coping techniques that may help.
To start, consider researching some grounding techniques and try out a couple that you feel might work for you. These strategies can help you stay in the present moment when you are feeling overwhelmed. Engage your senses by noticing what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel (like your feet on the ground). This can help you feel more present and less caught up in distressing sensations or memories.
You also want to try to engage in activities that make you feel safe, comfortable and cared for. This could be taking a warm bath, wearing comfy clothes, snuggling a soft blanket, listening to soothing music, or doing a calming hobby you enjoy. You could also try some relaxation exercises like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle stretching to help release tension and promote a sense of calm in your body.
As you start to want to confront these feelings more head on, you may consider exploring self-touch to bring awareness back into your body in a positive way. This could involve applying lotion slowly and gently, massaging tense areas, or exploring different sensations like soft fabrics or warm water. The goal is to bring kind awareness to your body, not to create sexual feelings. Go slowly and stop if anything feels uncomfortable. Over time, this practice can help you feel more at home in your own skin.
Finally, don't be afraid to seek support. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, therapist or call a support helpline. Sharing your feelings and experiences with someone who can offer empathy and validation can be very healing. You might also consider working with a therapist who specializes in trauma so that they can teach you specific strategies to cope with distressing sensations and process your experiences. They may also guide you through exercises to gradually get more comfortable in your body like the ones we mentioned above.
Remember, what you're feeling is a valid and understandable response to a very difficult experience. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Healing is a process and it's okay to take it one day at a time. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support along the way. With time and care, it is possible to feel safe and at home in your body again.