I am so sorry for your situation and I can surely understand how protective you must feel and that you wish to make sure that all your available funds go to your child.  But unfortunately a pension and a 401K are potentially marital assets for distribution in a divorce action and it has very little to do with your child.  Your spouse can waive their right to the pension and 401K and depending on your situation you could possibly use it to barter with your spouse.  I think that it may be best for you to seek some legal help here with all of this.  There are child support issues here as well.  Good luck to you.