An unclear or mistaken understanding of forgiveness may contribute to this fear. For example, forgiveness may mistakenly be seen as a relatively superficial choice that denies or ignores the pain caused by the wrongdoing. Or forgiveness may be seen as an act that must happen quickly and that does not allow for the time one might need to process the hurtful event.
By contrast, forgiveness may be resisted in order to maintain anger that is “protecting” the person from looking directly at deep pain caused by the wrongdoing. Some people may fear that forgiveness will be seen as condoning the wrong action or letting the wrongdoer “off the hook.” And, in some cases, choosing forgiveness may be confused with undue pressure for full reconciliation with a wrongdoer who may continue to act in an unfair or unsafe manner.