You have to crawl before you can run. By taking small steps, you will allow her dominant nature to slowly come forth. Most men fail at this because they expect instant results. Your challenge is to serve your ex wife with a submissive and worshipful attitude. Always keep in mind that a true submissive exists to make his superior lady happy and fulfilled. It is living a sacrificial life and part of submissive male who worships women should get his fulfillment in serving his Queen and making her happy. In your specific case I would recommend the following: Ask for her grocery list, go shopping for her and pay for it. If she ask you why, just tell her that you have a lot of free time and you are very pleased to help her. That you always have considered her as a Queen. This will give you opportunities to help her more and probably to start do chores for her. By doing these things you will stir that dominant nature within her so that she will warm up to the other more advanced D&S stuff that you desire. This may take some time depending on her personality and upbringing. Never introduce your D/s fantasy by yourself, but this kind of relationship will open discussions to talk openly.