Allowing your adult kid to thrive on their own is one approach to avoid being an enabler as a parent. Inform them that they are capable of doing the task. You may guide them and teach them skills along the road, but ultimately they must fend for themselves. This way you're not going against nature by keeping them young forever. There are two types of adults: those who grow up and those who don't. Those who grow up realize that they need to start taking care of themselves before they can take care of others. They might not like this idea at first, but once it's put into words everything becomes clear. The ones who don't grow up often find themselves in trouble or needing help with things they thought were impossible tasks. Sometimes all it takes is someone to show them how possible it is for them to succeed. If you want to stop enabling your grown children, you have to understand why you do it and how it affects them. It's not because you don't love them, it's because you want the best for them. You know that if they stay here dependent on you that it will be hard for them to become independent people. Help them see that they can do it by showing them that you believe in them and supporting them along the way. Stop enabling your grown children.