YS2019 88.8% of males reported being attracted to the opposite sex (eg. I am a male attracted to  females.) 78.6% of females reported being attracted to the opposite sex. 5.5% of males and 13% of  females reported being attracted to the same or multiple sexes. 5.6% of males and 8.4% of females  were not sure of either. Sexual orientation and gender identity can be a tricky subject to understand as parents, but there  are heaps of awesome resources to help build your understanding. Some of our teens, may begin to realise that their attractions are not heterosexual (to the opposite  sex). It can feel like everyone is expecting them to be straight, because of this, some gay and lesbian  teens may feel different when their heterosexual peers start talking about romantic feelings, dating, and sex.  Lesbian/gay/ homosexual – a person who is attracted to the same gender as themselves Bisexual – a person who is sexually attracted to people of more than one gender, or their own and other genders. Pansexual – a person who is attracted to people regardless of sex, gender or gender expression or someone who is attracted to all genders Transgender – is an umbrella term used to describe people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Queer – an umbrella term encompassing diverse sexuality and gender identities, it is often preferred by people who desire a more fluid term to describe their gender or sexuality. Intersex – is an umbrella term that is used to describe people born with variations of internal and/or external sex anatomy. Bodies can’t be described as typically male or female. LGBTQI+ teens might feel a need to pretend to feel things, so they fit in with people around them.  Everyone has worries about things like school, sports, or friends and fitting in. In addition to these  common worries, LGBTQI+ teens have an extra layer of things to think about, like whether they  should hide who they are. Fears of prejudice, rejection, or bullying can lead LGBTQI+ teens to keep their sexual orientation and  gender orientation secret. This can have a deep impact on their overall wellbeing and mental health. An attraction is not something we get to choose, and it’s not likely teens will ‘grow out of it.’ We  don’t ‘turn’ our teens gay or lesbian – they just are. While this may be challenging to our own values  and beliefs as parents, it is important that you accept them and love them just as they are. They will  need your support and validation more than ever now, to help them develop into healthy teens and  adults. Understanding gender identity Gender is the social and cultural construction based on the expectation of what it means to be a  man and/or a woman, including roles, expectations, and behaviour. Gender identity refers to each  individual’s internal and external experience of gender, which may or may not correspond with the  sex recorded at birth.    There may come a time where your teenager explores their identity, so here are some terms and  tips to help you understand: Gender diverse: This term relates to those whose gender identities are situated outside of the binary of men and women, but who may not use the term ‘transgender’ or ‘trans’ to describe themselves. Gender identity: An individual’s personal sense of having a particular gender. Sex: Refers to how a person’s body is classified based on genitals, chromosomes, gonads etc. People often conflate sex and gender Sexual orientation: Sexual orientation can be derived from their sexual attraction, sexual behaviour, and/or sexual identity   Gender identity terms: Agender: A person without gender Bi-gender: Can be any two genders at the same time, or go back and forth between the two Cis-gender: Someone whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth; e.g. someone assigned male at birth who lives as a man Gender fluid: No fixed gender identity, gender may change over time. Non-binary: An umbrella term used to encompass people who may or may not identify with being transgender, and their gender may not fit into a binary of man or woman. Can also be used as an individual gender identity Trans-feminine: Identifying on the feminine end of the gender spectrum. Often assigned male at birth Trans-masculine: Identifying on the masculine end of the gender spectrum. Often assigned female at birth   If your teenager talks to you about their gender identity, here are some things you can do to be  supportive: Use the correct pronoun they choose to describe their identity (they/him/her) Be respectful of their gender identity – this is a powerful way to show you are an ally and supportive of them Respond positively about their appearance – but only if you are asked Remember that this is THEIR identity and their life – be respectful and affirming   Help BOP Pride: a fun and supportive environment for people of the LGBTQI community wanting  to meet new people, network and engage in activities that build a stronger LGBTQI  community in the Bay of Plenty. Check out their Facebook group  www.facebook.com/BOPPRIDENZ or email kaspara@boppride.org.nz. Gender Dynamix: specialist support for transgender people of all ages and their families to  create authentic spaces in our community where everyone can thrive. Gender Dynamix is  based in Tauranga and supports people throughout the Bay of Plenty. Learn more on their  website www.genderdynamix.org.nz or email referrals@genderdynaix.org.nz Rainbow Youth: is an Auckland-based national charitable organisation, that works to  support queer and gender diverse young people between the age of 13 to 27. This  organisation works with queer, gender diverse, takatāpui and intersex youth, their friends,  whānau and wider communities. Phone: (09) 376 4155. https://www.ry.org.nz/ InsideOUT: works to give rainbow young people in NZ a sense of safety and belonging in  their schools and communities. They are a national charity providing resources, information,  workshops, consulting and support for anything concerning rainbow or LGBTQIA+ issues and  education for schools, workplaces and community organisations. Email hello@insideout.org.nz or check out their Facebook group  www.facebook.com/insideoutkoaro/ OUTline NZ: is a free support line with trained volunteers who can discuss topics around  sexual orientation, gender identity and diverse sex characteristics. The support line is open  every evening from 6pm until 9pm. Freephone 0800 OUTLINE (0800 688 5463).   HPV HPV is a common virus that is passed by sexual contact and can cause cancers in males as well as  females. The HPV vaccine is funded for everyone aged 9–26 including boys and young men. The  vaccine is given as two doses to those aged 14 years and under, and three doses to those aged 15  years and older.   Sex education Sexuality education is part of Health and Physical Education learning area of the NZ Curriculum.  Teens learn about themselves and develop knowledge and skills about acting in positive and  respectful ways with others. Sexuality education also helps to create a safe physical and emotional environment for everybody.  Effective sexuality education takes a positive view of sexual development as a natural part of  growing up. It is vital to the overall well-being of teens.  Parents and guardians can write to your school’s principal and ask that your teen is excluded from  any particular part of sexuality education. If you want to do this it is important that you have a good  understanding of what will be taught and why, so talk to your teen’s teacher first. However, school does not undermine or replace the learning that you give your teen at home.  Parents are the key educators through conversation and role modelling, school learning often  provides a basis for these important conversations.