While cooking - If you discover its spicy while cooking dry roast a table spoon or two of coconut to light brown color a separate pan then grind to paste with water and add towards the end of cooking simmer for a few minutes and remove else it will spilt. After cooking - Boil a little water say 1/2 glass if you have leftover cooked dal add a tablespoon or two of it allow this mixture to come to a boil then add it to the curry after it cools down slightly. Roasted cashew nut and boiled water ground to finest paste, a cooked potato, or other sambar veggies cook separately and add to sambar. Add few tsps of coconut milk if everything else fails.