My first recommendation would be to go easy on yourself. Many of us have lost our loved ones to addiction, and countless times we’ve blamed ourselves for not helping them more. It’s important to recognize that addiction is an illness, not a choice; therefore, like caring for someone who may be ill from Covid, we don’t have much control over the health of someone struggling with addiction.  All we can do is love them and offer support. It’s okay to be angry, sad, and confused, but refrain from demonizing your loved ones because they simply aren’t themselves. If your struggling loved one is alive, it’s entirely okay to step away from that relationship if its harming your mental and/or physical health.  Seek therapy and counseling if you can, and if you can’t there are tons of free resources and support groups online that can provide support during this difficult time. One of my favorite free online resources is smartrecovery.org where support is offered for both addicts and loved ones of addicts. There is hope, so keep going, and give yourself a pat on the back for being so strong and brave!