When we are reluctant to trust our own judgment in love relationships, we might be unduly critical. This is frequently the result of being traumatized by prior relationships or witnessing someone close to us locked in a poor romance. Amy is prone to focusing on her partner's flaws in her relationships. She often finds herself thinking: "He shouldn't do that" or "I should tell him not to talk that way." Her current boyfriend feels criticized and inadequate, which causes him to shut down emotionally. Amy needs to understand that when she looks at Brett in a disapproving manner, he responds by feeling unworthy of her love. He believes that she must see him as evil because he has hurt her before. This is why it is important for her to trust her own feelings about Brett, even if they change from moment to moment. She also needs to remember that although Brett does many things wrong, this doesn't mean that he isn't capable of changing. It's just that he has made some very bad decisions up until now. With help and time, he can change. Finally, Amy needs to stop comparing Brett to other men. It's unfair and untrue, but she does it anyway. If she were to focus on what they have in common instead of what makes them different, she would realize that they are perfect for each other. Brett loves Amy but doesn't want to offend her with his actions.