If we suffer a deficit in forming the vital parental bond, we will likely grow up feeling unwelcome in the world. We will have difficulty forming connections, not just with others, but with ourselves. The resulting sense of loneliness and isolation will, in turn, create an intense need for intimate contact and - at the same time - a fear of such intimacy. In attachment theory this is known as ‘insecure attachment’, the opposite of ‘secure attachment’. In turn, insecure attachment is divided into one of two attachment styles: ‘insecure avoidant’ or ‘insecure anxious'.
Although the avoidant and anxious types, both driven by a powerful fear of rejection, have much in common, they are two manifestly different types. In short, the avoidant type isolates, the anxious type becomes needy.