First, please accept our sympathy for your loss.It doesn't matter if your life partner expressed his wishes to his lawyer or to anyone else (e.g. to a judge) *unless* the wishes were then incorporated into a written will which was properly signed by your partner and witnessed under the laws of your state. Only a properly executed will has the power to control what happens to someone's property after his/her death; oral wishes, no matter how clearly stated or to whom, have no effect.