Two issues are in your question. The first issue is needed respite care. Please call the Social Work office at the VA where your father receives care and ask them for guidance and respite help. Also, if you can obtain respite care from other family or friends, church or community organizations for some time off, that would help you now. The second is the difficult issue of authority, and if your brother is listed as your father’s Medical Power of Attorney and empowered to make decisions, then the VA must honor the registered, listed person who holds the legal documentation. If your father was mentally able, he could change that paperwork, but with Alzheimer’s, that’s an uphill battle. We recommend you get the help of a Veterans Service Organization (DAV, VFW, Legion ) to change your status to make these decisions, but this takes time. Be sure that you know the precise document that needs changing, as this is an especially confusing issue, and there are experts at the VSO to help you.