As human beings we are endowed with ability to think, preempt, plan as well as judge right from wrong. Inability to use these abilities lands us into untold misery. Without these qualities we are no different from animals and our society as good as a jungle. Certain traditions and rules of civilised society have stood the test of time to ensure happiness and safety of all. Family is one such concept. You are morally bound to respect your family including your mother even if you do not believe in family. As per your sexual urges, you can find a better and appropriate way for satisfying these. It doesn't make sense to shock your mother and then try to control the damage to her self respect and motherhood. Your own guilt will become a cross for you for ever. Meet a counsellor to learn how to handle your sexual problems.