In order for a party to access retirement benefits, you must do a QDRO so that the court acquires jurisdiction over the company who holds the retirement account.  Without the QDRO, the court has no jurisdiction to make orders.However, with the death of the party and the fact that status was taken and you are divorced,  you may now have to  proceed through the probate court, as the estate of the deceased will have to be distributed pursuant to his will or probate laws. I would contact a probate attorney to assist you.