Giving feedback, particularly negative feedback, can be stressful for several reasons, including because people are afraid they won't present the feedback correctly and because they are afraid of how the feedback receiver may respond. Feedback communication may involve addressing sensitive issues and potentially causing conflict, something many people like to avoid. As humans, we are wired to build rather than damage relationships — and many fear that in delivering feedback they may be doing the latter. Giving feedback can also be stressful because not many of us get safe opportunities to practice how we give and receive negative feedback — for some, their first time doing it is in a high-stakes work environment. And very few of us receive comprehensive feedback training. Put all of this together — that we are afraid of the response and haven't had practice — and it's a recipe for stress. There are several levels to making the giving of feedback less stressful. Well before the feedback session, it will be helpful to understand what feedback is and what effective feedback looks like. As you approach the feedback conversation, being prepared with notes and perhaps practicing beforehand can be a de-stressor. Directly before and even during the meeting, taking a few slow and steady breaths (or otherwise resourcing in whatever way allows you to bring your clearest state of mind to the meeting) can be helpful. For some, orienting to the room is a big de-stressor. To do this, some find it helpful to slowly look around the room they are in. You might also place your hands on the table and feel the feelings — the texture and temperature of the table. These types of orienting practices can bring us into the present moment, make us feel safe, and help us feel grounded in the stability of our bodies rather than lost in spiraling thoughts. Ultimately, do what you must do to reach this truth: you'll be okay. If you are a leader who wants to make feedback less stressful for you and those in your organization, here are some steps to take (in addition to this blog). 1. Strive to create a feedback-friendly environment. This means talking about feedback and providing feedback training for your team. It also means emphasizing the importance of continuous improvement and learning from feedback (and you must model this by asking for and, when it feels right, adopting their given feedback). 2. Be clear, specific, and aspirational in your feedback. Focus on behaviors or actions rather than making personal judgments. Frame feedback as an exciting opportunity to improve. 3. Provide ongoing positive feedback. Otherwise, you may build a culture that views feedback as constantly negative. Such a culture can make givers and receivers feel stressed and demotivated. 4. Encourage dialogue / two-way communication. Feedback is a conversation, so be sure to ask for the individual's perspective, pause for them to ask questions, and encourage them to share their thoughts on the feedback received. This promotes understanding and collaboration. 5. Deliver feedback in a timely manner. Address issues as they arise and avoid letting concerns build as this can increase stress for both parties. 6. Plan and structure feedback using the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model. Describe the specific situation, the observable behavior, and its impact. The SBI model can help you frame your thoughts, which can alleviate stress. It also ensures your feedback remains more objective and focuses on directly-observed actions. 7. Plan regular check-ins and feedback sessions. This normalizes feedback experiences, making it a regular part of professional development rather than an isolated, stressful event. 8. Provide feedback training. If you made it this far, you knew this one was coming. Offering feedback training for all employees, not only those primarily responsible for giving feedback, equips all with the skills and knowledge needed to communicate effectively and handle potentially challenging situations. Improving feedback literacy in this way can increase confidence, reduce stress, and build the organization into a continuous learning machine.