Glans penis is the sensitive part of male genitalia. If sex is initiated without stimulating the partner with pre-sex activity, it may lead to premature ejaculation. The female receptive organ may not be lubricated, hence hurriedly initiated act leads to premature ejaculation. Regarding your problem of irritation after applying topically xylometazoline and condom use could be due to allergy to xylometazoline or less likely even to condom. Oily lubricants are generally avoided with condoms of latex, only liquid based lubricants can be used. In your case, stop applying xylometazoline first. Apply Flutivate cream once daily for 7 days and then stop. Hopefully it will take care of your problem, if not consult a dermatologist. Sometimes, condoms do cause allergy also. If later on after stopping topical xylometazoline, problems do recur again, probably it is due to condom. In that case, simple condoms like Kohinoor pink or Nirodh, which do not have fragrance, may be more suitable for you.