Whether or not to attend the service honoring the passing of an ex-wife or ex-husband (or a member of their family) can be a difficult decision. If your relationship with the family is cordial and you wish to pay your respects, by all means, attend the service. If you know or feel that your presence will upset the family of the deceased, or they might have a difficult time putting hard feelings aside, it’s kinder to simply send a note or flowers. If you do attend, don’t call attention to yourself or compete with the family for attention. Avoid saying anything derogatory, demeaning, or mean-spirited about the deceased, even if what you are tempted to say is a fact. Rise above your feelings or history to encourage and uplift the survivors who loved and cared about your ex.