If you’re participating in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or a similar 12-Step program, you’ve probably heard that making amends is an important part of your recovery journey. However, you may be wondering exactly what this involves.
In the simplest terms, “amends” are defined as “compensation for loss or injury.” This means that you’re being asked to compensate the people you’ve hurt as a result of your addiction.
In 12-Step groups such as AA, making amends is covered in Step 8 and Step 9.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 8 is a challenging list to write because this process requires you to hold yourself accountable for your mistakes. You can’t blame your addiction-related behaviors on stress, a quick temper, or mere impulsiveness. You must acknowledge that you chose to act in a way that caused harm to others.
Step 9 aims to provide you with personal peace of mind, as well as healing in your relationships. The idea of making amends can trigger anxiety and fear of rejection, but you can move through this process at your own pace. Your sponsor can also serve as a source of emotional support during this time.