It's important to avoid being mean, hurtful, or punitive. The best approach is to tell your children once or twice that they have made a mistake, and provide a non-punitive consequence if they don’t listen. Remember, too, that not all bad behavior is bad behavior. Sometimes what looks like bad behavior is simply an immature coping mechanism (for example, tantrums and meltdowns), or the child may be trying to accomplish something he hasn’t learned yet (for example, how to enter a social group appropriately).