I have three superstitions I live by: <br>1. No dating all season. <br>2. Don’t jinx a no-hitter while one’s in progress. <br>3. Be cold-hearted. If you find something you think about more than baseball, destroy it. <br> <br>Calliope Thomas is one of those things. Ever since she left a bad review on the Max Energy Drink I endorse, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. Obviously, when she said she hoped I had a losing season, I had to meet her and get her to take the words back. <br> <br>Now, she’s making me do insane things. Like, obsess over the color of her panties or if I can make her blush. Read superstition one—I don’t do this sort of thing. <br>I play ball, not chase after a woman I barely know. <br> <br>But, I am, and she wants nothing to do with me. <br>She thinks I’m the devil. <br>And I have to say she makes me want to sin. <br> <br>I’m becoming a borderline stalker. <br>And to make matters worse she’s affecting my game. <br>I can’t pitch. <br>I can’t hit. <br>I can’t focus. <br>Something needs to give, and it won’t be me.