<p>Nothing is too outrageous for Damon Wayans. Whether he&apos;s talking about family, celebrities, racism, relationships, politics, or sex, Damon takes no prisoners. And in Bootleg, he brings it all on, uncut and uncensored:</p><p>Marriage...</p><p>What are the scariest words known to man? "Till death do us part." Why not until my car breaks down? Or until I run out of money?</p><p>I hate marriage counselors. This is the biggest scam in the world. Someone figured out a way that women can do the things they love best at the same time: talk and spend money.</p><p>Thoughts on celebrities, like Oprah, Mike Tyson, Dr. Kevorkian, Gary Coleman, and...</p><p>There&apos;s something worse than having HIV, ask 0.J.Imagine being alienated from the world, totally alone with no one wanting to have anything to do with you. I&apos;ll take the Ebola virus over what he got.</p><p>When I found out that Steven Spielberg has two black kids, I was amazed. Where did he get these kids from? Were they props left over from The Color Purple?</p><p>"The Dozens, a Favorite Childhood Game...</p><p>"Damon, your mother is so fat she has to take her pants off just to get into her pockets."</p><p>"Yeah, well, your mother&apos;s so poor she can&apos;t even pay attention."</p><p>"Oh, yeah, well your sister is so ugly, they have to tie a pork chop around her neck so that the dog will play with her."</p><p>"Yeah, well, your mother is so black every time she goes to night school the teachers mark her absent."</p><p>Living in LA...</p><p>I&apos;m afraid of earthquakes, especially because I have kids to think about. I remember once after a big earthquake I was standing outside my house, butt-naked, thinking, "Man, I hope them kids make it out here. And I hope they&apos;re smart enough to wake up their mama, `cause this place is shaking."</p><p>Black Leaders...</p><p>I must have been asleep the day they elected Al Sharpton as the black representative. He is the only leader in history to show up to a rally wearing a tight red velour sweat suit with a roller in the front of his hair.</p><p>Filled with laughs, craziness, and lots of truth, Bootleg will leave you hurting for more!</p><p>Who went and told Magic Johnson that he should do a talk show? Anybody who repeatedly says "bassetball" doesn&apos;t have any business doing a talk show. I&apos;m sure that sometimes in his life someone tried to correct him. When he was a little boy his mom must&apos;ve tried:</p><p>Magic&apos;s Mother: Hey, Earvin, what are you going to be when you grow up?</p><p>Magic: I wanna play BASSETBALL.</p><p>Magic&apos;s Mother: Now, Earvin, its called BAS-KET-BALL. BASKETBALL.</p><p>Magic: That&apos;s what I said, BASSETBALL. BASSETBALL, BASSETBALL.</p>Magic&apos;s Mother: Well, baby, I hope you can play it, &apos;cause you sure can&apos;t say it.