i feel sorry for the financial backers of " waterworld , " which is supposedly the most expensive film ever made ( at $ 172 million ! ) , and is also one of the stupidest - boy did they get ripped off !
in fact , this film is not really a movie , but more of an amusement park ride with a plot .
it 's not even just another case of cliches strung together
( well , it is that too ) , it 's something that 's painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws .
kevin costner stars as a man who is some kind of mutant half man / half fish .
he is an explorer / mariner on an alternate earth that is completely covered by water because the polar ice caps melted .
he 's referred to as the mariner , but they " the meaner " would have been a more appropriate title because he 's cold , rigid , and strict -
and he 's supposed the be the good guy !
he docks at a small floating village of sorts .
he trades dirt for money and this introduces us to the other important characters .
first we meet one of the villains , then the soon - to - be heroine , a child prodigy , a wacky inventor , and a group of primitive people that somehow have some of the technology we have today , but also some of the low - tech tools used by pirates and vikings .
immediately the film 's biggest flaw is apparent
: are these people primitive or highly advanced ?
it does n't seem like anyone can read yet
they have ski - doos and airplanes !
how are these things powered ?
and if they have airplanes , could n't they just keep flying until they reached dry land ?
also , if the planet is completely covered in water where did they get the materials to make these things ?
i 'm sorry ,
i 'm all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies , but elements like these can not go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us
.
there was potential here for a good pirate story set in medieval times before modern technology , so why mix the two together ?
it does n't make any sense .
there really is n't much of a plot here because the story moves
so quickly it never takes time to explain anything .
the only thing we learn is that the prodigy child , enola ( mojorino ) , has a tattoo on her back that is supposedly a map to " dryland .
" who put the tattoo there and how come
it has taken them this long to figure this out ?
we never get an answer , just a stupid action movie about whoever can get the girl will be the victor of sorts if they reach dryland .
to make a long , boring , stupid , and just plain bad story short
; the mariner escapes with a woman named helen ( tripplehorn ) and enola .
they sail for a long time , encountering some strange people in the process and fight off " the smokers " as lead by the idiot villain deacon ( hopper ) , who kidnaps enola .
the story becomes a overly grand adventure with the mariner taking on an army of goons , rescuing enola , and bringing them all to salvation ( how original ) .
even with all its special effects , action , and adventure this film is boring
.
not a single character is likable , therefore neither is the plot .
dennis hopper completely rips off jack nicholson 's joker , while costner just plain rips .
still , " waterworld " is professionally made with a good production design and an original idea but no substance to it .
i just hope they do n't make a sequel !
it does n't make any sense immediately the film 's biggest flaw is apparent no substance to it this film is boring it 's not even just another case of cliches strung together i 'm all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies , but elements like these can not go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us just plain rips painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws long , boring , stupid , and just plain bad story also one of the stupidest just a stupid action movie