whether you like the beatles or not , nobody wants to see the bee gee 's take on some of the fab four 's best known songs .
well , maybe that 's not true .
. .
maybe you 're curious , the way you have to look in your hanky after you blow your nose .
you just have to know how bad bad can be .
if that 's the case , rejoice , because it was twenty years ago today ( or so )
that sgt .
pepper 's lonely hearts club band was released ( unleashed ? ) to the world , and thanks to our modern technological advances , you can find this retched piece of filmmaking on vhs . derived from the lyrics of various beatles ' songs , sgt .
pepper 's tells the story of the fictitious band made popular from the song ( and album ) of the same name , released in 1967 .
of course , the movie was made eleven years later , the gibbs three have become the lonely hearts , peter frampton is the one and only billy shears , and aside from being about a rock band , the story does n't correlate to the song at all .
and oh , what joy -
we 're the lovely audience they 'd like to take home with them .
i do n't think so .
but at least these characters are actually * people * in a beatles ' song , whereas other characters such as strawberry fields ( sandy farina ) gets her name from a song about a * place * called strawberry fields .
the debate over this is really quite futile when it comes down to it , because all the film really has to offer is a feast of horrid cover tunes , embarrassing cameo appearances
( george burns ? !
steve martin ? ! ?
alice cooper ? ! ? ! ) , and uuuuuuggggggglllllllyyyyy 70 's fashion and faces .
check please !
the plot is a bit unclear .
people with bad 70 's hair run around in leisure suits engaging in music video sequences that look like a sick and twisted world of make - believe from an overly demented mr .
rogers .
mean
mr .
mustard ( frankie howerd ) somehow gets hold of all billy & co . 's instruments , calling dr .
maxwell edison ( steve martin with a silver hammer and an out - of - key singing voice ) ,
the sun king , marvin sunk ( alice cooper ! ) , and a couple of creepy robots to his aid .
supposedly this is a horrible thing ?
i guess in heartland , the talent is pretty non - existent .
meanwhile , the lonely hearts are off doing the classic " sex , drugs , and rock n '
roll " thing , leaving poor strawberry fields without her true love , billy .
she sets out to find him , leaving her poor dad and mom ( mrs .
fields !
hey , wanna cookie ? )
all alone to sing a horrible rendition of
" she 's leaving home " , accompanied by those same creepy robots .
but is billy getting it on with lucy ( dianne steinberg ) ?
ya know , the diamond possessing girl who hangs out in the sky ?
well , there 's some crazy chick singing soprano on the roof of a building next to a bus stop , and i assume that 's who it was .
it 's movies like this that make ya sit back and ask the unanswerable question ,
" what the hell were they thinking ? ? ?
" nobody will ever know , but as a novelty , sgt .
pepper 's is one to examine .
carol channing , robert palmer , keith carradine
- they 're all here . but why ? ? ? ?
who knows .
it 's irrelevant .
there 's as much meaning to be found here as there is to be found in your belly - button lint , although the latter may be more interesting .
with the recent onslaught of 70 's nostalgia in the movie world ( the ice storm , boogie nights , reissues of the star wars trilogy , etc . ) , let 's pray this does n't get a special 20th anniversary , second - chance in theaters .
in the words of paul mccartney , live and let die .
in fact , bury this one while you still can .
but why ? ? ? ? who knows . " what the hell were they thinking ? ? ? " a feast of horrid cover tunes , embarrassing cameo appearances bury this one this retched piece of filmmaking a horrible rendition