when respecting a director , you must also respect the fact that they are not perfect .
woody allen has made a couple less - than good films , and he 's my favorite .
even martin scorsese has n't had a perfect track record .
kevin smith , after a smashing debut with the classic " clerks " stooped as low to sell - out and make the dreadful " mallrats .
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i mean , so far the only director who 's made several films , none of which have been bad is richard linklater ( " slacker , " " dazed and confused , " " before sunrise , " and " suburbia " . . .
all which were great ) .
now , i adore quentin tarantino .
his first two films were classic films , the second one being one of the greatest films of all time .
but 1995 just was n't that good of a year for him .
he made way too many tv appearances .
he mispronounced jackie chan 's name on the mtv movie awards .
and he made this film .
( he was also awarded an oscar , so i guess that would be a grand exception ) .
robert rodriguez is also a great director ; not a brilliant one , but a cool one .
i 've never seen an alexandre rockwell or allison anders film , so i ca n't comment on them . but
in this crap ensemble director 's film , all four give pitiful efforts .
pitiful for any director , too .
now in all fairness , ensemble director pieces never really work out .
i 've never seen all of " new york stories , " but have heard the first two films , by scorsese and francis ford coppola are crap ( i saw woody 's one , which was hilarious but not totally up to par ) .
but i will rate each film individually and then report back to you on the overal average score of the film .
exposition : a simple one - a bellhop , ted ( the totally overdone tim roth , who 's a god and all , but not in this one , though he has a couple good moments ) is working on new year 's eve for his first shift ( ! ! ! )
in an old fancy hotel .
he 's the only one there ( again : ! ! ! )
and he only has a couple rooms ( yet again : ! ! ! ) .
the old bellhop ( the seemingly immortal marc lawrence - who hated pulp fiction actually ) hands over his cap to ted and he goes to his job happily .
as the night goes on , he becomes increasingly annoyed and hostile .
yea .
( the short films are presented in order , btw ) :
the missing ingredient writer / director :
allison anders starring : sammi davis , amanda decadenet , valeria golino , madonna , ione skye , lili taylor , alicia witt
this one starts it off horribly with no plot , no intrigue , and crap dialogue .
the situation is so terrible that it 's physically painful to watch .
the plot has something to do with a coven of witches needing sperm to bring back a godess who is ( gasp ! )
stuck inside some object in their hotel room .
the witch that was supposed to bring it ( ione skye ) calls up ted and asks him if she can perform fellatio on him to get it .
yeah ,
that 's what i said .
stupid plot , inane characters who are n't interesting at all , etc , etc , etc .
the only good thing about this is it has a good cast which , in turn , it wastes pitifully .
not even actually funny for a second .
my rating ( out of 5 ) : no stars ! ! ! !
the wrong man writer / director : alexandre rockwell starring : david proval , jennifer beals and laurence bender
another bad little film with another stupid sex thing going on .
ted stumbles into the wrong room or something and gets in the middle of a couple ( david proval and jennifer beals in her attempt at " coming back " ) who are playing sex games .
ted tries to escape and we cheer him on
so it will end soon .
but at least this has a bit of comedy in it , just not that much . and david proval has never overacted as much .
and it 's " pulp fiction " producer laurence bender who gets to puke from a window .
a masterpiece compared to the first one , but still . . .
the misbehavers writer / director : robert rodriguez starring : antonio banderes , tamlyn tomita , lana mckissack , danny verduzco , salma hayek would a robert rodriguez film be the same without salma hayek 's navel ?
nope .
luckily she 's on the tv dancing
so we get to see her .
surprisingly enough , when i read the screenplay ( about a year before actually seeing it ) , this one seemed to have the most potential .
it was fast - paced , funny , and well , funny .
but when i watched it , it seemed anti - climactic and only seemed to gain any momentum towards the end when everything happened at once .
antonio overacts nicely and the two kids ( lana and danny ) are funny .
but , as i said , it moves slowly and in that way , it 's more painful than funny .
but the ending was stupid and funny at the same time .
oh !
the plot : antonio is a supposed gangster ( assumed , really ) who leaves his two troubling kids home while he and his wife ( tomita ) go out to get drunk at a new year 's party .
antonio hires ted for a couple bucks to watch his kids all night long , but things go wrong .
. .
it was okay .
the man from hollywood writer / director : quentin tarantino starring : quentin tarantino , bruce willis , paul calderon and jennifer beals ( again ) ironically , this one could be considered the best for a bad reason : it best represents what quentin has done with this film .
he plays chester , a spoiled brat actor or something who has just had a huge box - office hit on his hands and is living it up by playing an anti - climactic game from a hitchcock tv episode starring steve mcqueen and peter lorre where they gamble to see if one of them can get light from his lighter ten times in a row .
they 're drunk and need sober but nervous ted to hold the cleaver and bring it down if the lighter does n't light .
they also pay him a lot of cash .
this is so much exactly what this little film is about that it 's campy .
tim roth was probably payed a lot of money to do this stupid part in this stupid film made by a bunch of people who are high on themselves 'cause they 've had hits , major or minor .
it took quentin to realize that .
but the thing is , it does n't seem like he realizes that .
if he did , i 'd give this a good 3 stars .
but this sucked .
it was anti - climactic and the dialogue was n't very good
.
he starts off with a very long steadicam shot then goes to flashes .
that makes no sense .
it 's cool for a while , then he makes it uneven .
it 's long and it 's just not very good
.
hopefully quentin never repeats what he did with this one .
conclusion :
what 's the moral here ?
if you 've made celebrated films , do n't do an ensemble piece .
they should have re - watched " new york stories " and then stopped in their tracks . none of these have any point to them
and they 're embarrassing
to not only the writer / directors , but to the actors 'cause they 're working with crap .
but i will forgive everyone involved and i especially look forward to quentin 's next directing job ( even though he and rodriguez jumped back to the top immeadiately with the cool " from dusk till dawn , " which i found exhilerating ) .
i love quentin and i suppose it 's good
he made " the man from hollywood " because it makes him seem more realistic and not some " god of cinema .
"
i seem to respect directors if they are n't " gods " and are actually human beings who make mistakes .
"
the man from hollywood " is his big mistake and let 's hope he does n't return her continuously .
is his big mistake it wastes pitifully . not even actually funny for a second this one starts it off horribly with no plot , no intrigue , and crap dialogue . the situation is so terrible that it 's physically painful to watch another bad little film with another stupid sex thing going on stupid plot , inane characters who are n't interesting at all more painful than funny stupid part in this stupid film made by a bunch of people who are high on themselves 'cause they 've had hits none of these have any point to them and they 're embarrassing they 're working with crap this sucked anti - climactic and the dialogue was n't very good in this crap ensemble director 's film , all four give pitiful efforts it seemed anti - climactic it moves slowly it 's long and it 's just not very good