" quest for camelot " is warner bros . '
first feature - length , fully - animated attempt to steal clout from disney 's cartoon empire , but the mouse has no reason to be worried .
the only other recent challenger to their throne was last fall 's promising , if flawed , 20th century fox production " anastasia , " but disney 's " hercules , " with its lively cast and colorful palate , had her beat hands - down when it came time to crown 1997 's best piece of animation .
this year , it 's no contest , as " quest for camelot " is pretty much dead on arrival .
even the magic kingdom at its most mediocre
-- that 'd be " pocahontas " for those of you keeping score -- is n't nearly as dull as this .
the story revolves around the adventures of free - spirited kayley ( voiced by jessalyn gilsig ) , the early - teen daughter of a belated knight from king arthur 's round table .
kayley 's only dream is to follow in her father 's footsteps , and she gets her chance when evil warlord ruber ( gary oldman ) , an ex - round table member - gone - bad , steals arthur 's magical sword excalibur and accidentally loses it in a dangerous , booby - trapped forest .
with the help of hunky , blind timberland - dweller garrett ( carey elwes ) and a two - headed dragon ( eric idle and don rickles ) that 's always arguing with itself , kayley just might be able to break the medieval sexist mold and prove her worth as a fighter on arthur 's side .
" quest for camelot " is missing pure showmanship , an essential element if it 's ever expected to climb to the high ranks of disney .
there 's nothing here
that differentiates " quest " from something you 'd see on any given saturday morning cartoon -- subpar animation , instantly forgettable songs , poorly - integrated computerized footage .
( compare kayley and garrett 's run -
in with the angry ogre
to herc 's battle with the hydra .
i rest my case . )
even the characters stink -- none of them are remotely interesting , so much that the film becomes a race to see which one can out - bland the others .
in the end , it 's a tie -- they all win .
that dragon 's comedy shtick is awfully cloying , but at least it shows signs of a pulse .
at least fans of the early-'90s tgif television line - up will be thrilled to find jaleel " urkel " white and bronson " balki " pinchot sharing the same footage .
a few scenes are nicely realized ( though i 'm at a loss to recall enough to be specific ) , and the actors providing the voice talent are enthusiastic ( though most are paired up with singers who do n't sound a thing like them for their big musical moments -- jane seymour and celine dion ? ? ? ) .
but one must strain through too much of this mess to find the good . aside from the fact that children will probably be as bored watching this as adults , " quest for camelot
" 's most grievous error is its complete lack of personality .
and personality , we learn from this mess , goes a very long way .
dead on arrival the characters stink subpar animation , instantly forgettable songs , poorly - integrated computerized footage complete lack of personality missing pure showmanship will probably be as bored watching this mess one must strain through too much of this mess is n't nearly as dull as this