note to screenwriters and self : when you hit the big time , and the studios come knocking for those scripts that are sitting in your bottom drawer , tell ?
em all to hit the road .
gilligan wrote the arbitrarily - titled home fries ten years ago ; it was shelved until he found success as one of " the took a second look at gilligan 's " comedy " - they read it again wearing rose - tinted glasses .
drew stars as sally , a dim ( but sweet ) , pregnant waitress at a small town burger joint located somewhere in the southern united states .
the father of her child is dead , the victim of a severe heart attack brought on by sadistic torture from his two stepsons - these flyboys scared him with their low - flying helicopter .
dorian ( wilson ) and angus ( busey ) were getting even for his philandering ways on behalf of their anguished mother ( o'hara ) .
trouble is , sally picked up some interference on her drive - thru headset , and angus worries she may have heard conversations that took place in the helicopter prior to the accidental killing .
so dorian goes undercover as a burger - flipper ; before you can say " with cheese " he falls for the mother - to - be . too bad mom and angus have homicidal plans for sally .
does this sound like a movie you want to see ?
without a doubt , the best thing about home fries is barrymore ; at the risk of sounding sexist , she 's never looked better than here , as a curly redhead with twinkling eyes .
she is winning in a role that requires her to do absolutely nothing except look apple - cheek cute and gawk at wilson , her real - life boyfriend .
but the plot and the situations are so off - putting that nothing could save it .
this movie desperately wants to get mentioned in the same breath as the coen brothers , but home fries ' brand of laboured hipness would be foreign to geniuses like ethan and joel .
it 's raising arizona without babies , without charm , without laughs , without human characters , and without intelligence ; worst of all , it 's creepy .
what 's funny about threatening to gun down a pregnant woman with a machine gun ?
( unless the woman in question is a spice girl . ) take out the helicopters , the quasi - incestuous relationship between the mother and her sons ( it is absolutely illogical , within the movie 's framework , that dorian still lives with his mother and brother ) , and the scenes of murder ( attempted and otherwise ) , and what are you left with ? the story of a single woman with child who works at a fast food joint ( but dreams of becoming a country singer ) . that could turn out to be the most boring movie ever made , but it 'd be better than home fries .
so off - putting that nothing could save it without babies , without charm , without laughs , without human characters , and without intelligence home fries ' brand of laboured hipness would be foreign to geniuses worst of all , it 's creepy