synopsis :
nice girl susanne has sex with her boyfriend daniel in his car , visits daniel 's rich family during thanksgiving at their mansion in the middle of nowhere , and has sex with daniel again in the basement .
susanne and daniel must then decide where to hide from evil art thieves who shoot everyone else in the mansion to steal paintings . brace yourself for one of those painfully obvious " surprise endings .
" comments : thanksgiving .
for most , it 's a time to be with your loved ones and enjoy a good , home - cooked meal .
for the makers of body count , however , thanksgiving is a time for multiple murders , violence , profanity , family dysfunction , and sex .
boy , do i feel all the more better having sat through this crap .
alyssa milano , the former child star of who 's the boss ? , matures to made - for - video sludge like this movie .
someone somewhere thought it 'd be a great idea to pair her with rapper ice - t , who has since guest - starred in the made - for - the - sci - fi - channel series welcome to paradox .
this is n't exactly a winning combination .
outside of permanently ruining a holiday for me , what else may be said for this turkey ?
well , it teaches us that beautiful , attractive women who look strikingly like alyssa milano fall in love with nerds who drive down long winding roads with their eyes closed and complain about being english teachers .
it presents us with a heartwarming thanksgiving dinner attended by alcoholic , stuck - up rich white people waited on by black servants .
it shows us that old guys , try not to laugh , sit around and talk about " the appeal of postmodernism " during their free time .
and , it proves that you can have sex in your parents ' basement when they have a dozen or so guests over , and no one will notice .
before i go any further , if any young male reading this has hopes of seeing alyssa naked , forget it .
the filmmakers cleverly shoot the simulated sex scenes in a manner that makes sure you do n't see any of milano 's attributes .
they do , however ,
inexplicably throw in a scene where ice - t whistles " jingle bells " after killing people , for whatever that 's worth .
this film was originally titled below utopia .
perhaps they should have renamed it hell . avoid this clunker .
this turkey brace yourself for one of those painfully obvious " surprise endings . " permanently ruining a holiday for me this crap inexplicably throw in a scene avoid this clunker made - for - video sludge