late in down to you , the lead female character ( julia stiles ) states her greatest fear is having an " artificial conversation " with her boyfriend ( freddie prinze jr . ) .
the irony of this statement will not be lost on audience members who have not yet walked out , fallen asleep , or otherwise given up on this pathetic attempt at romantic comedy .
the film is a multi - million dollar testament to everything artificial .
filled with characters , motivation , plot and dialogue that ring fake and shallow at every step
this is an unquestionable disaster .
prinze plays a college student intent on playing the field until he falls for stiles ' freshman co - ed .
at first the movie seems to be an attempt to string along scenes with the sole purpose of out - doing the previous in how " cute " it can be .
the happy couple " psychoanalyze " each other ; they pick out a song because , as prinze 's dj mother ( lucie arnez ) explains , every couple needs a song ; he smells her shampoo ; she scratches his chest in the morning to let him know she wants to make love .
then , in standard romantic comedy style , things fall apart .
why ?
well , because they have to .
otherwise the couple ca n't make up and live ( presumably ) happily ever after .
down to you exists outside the realm of normal logic .
scenes do not connect to each other and it often seems to be attempting some sort of surrealism , but this is handled so poorly that everything comes off random and stupid instead .
a picnic scene involving the six key characters is just bizarre , not only for the stretched logic of these people hanging out together , or even knowing each other , but mostly because an unusual amount of screen time is dedicated to a goat .
the supporting characters are remarkably flat , and insultingly ridiculous as well .
stiles ' best friend ( rosario dawson ) is a pot head , prinze 's roommate ( shawn hatosy ) is a girl crazy fool who ca n't meet women , and then there are the porn stars ( zak orth and selma blair ) .
he is one of those famous porn stars who is frequently interviewed on television , does the college lecture circuit , and stars in high budget costume epic porns that are shot on film .
you know , the average porn star .
the costume epic idea gives him a reason to appear in a different ridiculous outfit everytime he 's on screen , the porn angle exists just so there can be a couple of stupid sex jokes .
she is a porn star mostly
so we know
she 's slutty , so
her very existence will make stiles jealous and prinze tempted .
attempts at drama ( which means julia is going to cry ) include a pregnancy scare and the big break up .
these characters are so insipid only the most forgiving viewer would be manipulated by these weak scenes .
what happened here ?
the cast is full of likable , promising , young actors ( stiles especially seems to be going places ) .
writer / director kris isacsson has simply given them material so weak not even seasoned pros could pull it off .
in fact the whole film feels like a reworking of last year 's extremely unpleasant the story of us , for teen audiences .
the direction is film - school - grad obvious .
it 's stylish in a hugely self conscious way which throws in split screen , a pointless parody of " cops , " characters walking into the flashbacks of other characters , and a hilariously cheesy airport meeting between prinze and stiles where all the extras move in fast motion while the couple moves in extreme slow motion .
plus , the whole story is told flashback style , narrated by prinze and stiles directly addressing the camera .
this is the second film in a row ( following wing commander ) starring freddie prinze jr . which should have premiered on the aisles of the local blockbuster but was likely saved from that fate due to the fluke success of she 's all that .
if he does n't start making better choices fast his future films wo n't be so lucky .
has simply given them material so weak not even seasoned pros could pull it off insultingly ridiculous these characters are so insipid pathetic attempt ring fake and shallow at every step a couple of stupid sex jokes this is handled so poorly that everything comes off random and stupid instead scenes do not connect to each other the supporting characters are remarkably flat a hilariously cheesy an unquestionable disaster