i have a confession .
even though i am a movie junkie - i saw eye of the beholder and yet i still watch movies
- i've never seen any of the original godzillas .
( note that godzilla 2000 is not a sequel to the u . s .
godzilla released in 1998
; it 's the american release of a 1999 godzilla flick called gojira ni - sen mireniamu . )
so , part of me was excited as i drove to the local multiplex to see godzilla 2000-the latest entry in an almost 50-year old franchise .
this was a long - awaited treat .
i was expecting a goofy good time , complete with bad dubbing , science fair level sets and a ludicrous plot line .
the last thing i expected was for the movie to be so ?
boring .
i can only imagine what the theatre full of kids i saw this with felt .
you do get all of the " so bad
they 're good " traits
so normally associated with the franchise .
but you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot .
it 's a deal
i was n't willing to accept .
hiroshi kashiwabara and waturu mimura 's script crams in way too many details
, and in many cases , fails to follow up on them .
the maneuver is not only disconcerting , but gives the movie a permanent logy , weighty feel .
godzilla starts off destroying power plants and then just stops .
was it a whim ?
a bold political statement ?
i do n't know .
its foe , an ancient meteor that looks like prudential 's logo , does n't just fight the beast from the far east .
no , it 's got to have life - saving powers , a plot to erase " the data " from japan , a desire to clone and the ability to become a spaceship and then some kind of tentacled space creature .
there 's a battle between the head of the godzilla prediction unit ( takehiro murata ) and a slimy government official ( hiroshi abe ) over the handling of godzilla , and personal issues .
and then there 's the plucky news photographer and
blah , blah , blah .
it 's like watching magnolia all over again - except without the good writing , keen sociological insight and aimee mann songs .
what a waste . when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you , godzilla 2000 does the job - it 's entertaining and goes down easy .
the action scenes are cheesy in their grandeur though a little sluggish .
the dubbing is nice and awful , with murata sounding like he 's in constant need of a cough drop .
as for the dialogue , one line summarizes the goofiness factor : " did anyone see that flying rock go by ?
" this movie also marked the first time since the three stooges that i 've heard the word " imbecile " used in casual conversation .
though the summer movie season is drying up and godzilla 2000 has its moments ,
i would n't take kids to see it .
they 'll probably end up asking more questions than charlie rose .
awful i would n't take kids to see it boring when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you blah , blah , blah . a little sluggish gives the movie a permanent logy , weighty feel you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot what a waste crams in way too many details