1989 's " major league " was a delightful surprise .
i did n't expect much of it when i decided to watch it on cable , but it proved to be fresh and funny .
however , when the appeal of a movie is its freshness , the sequels are virtually guaranteed to be stale .
that 's certainly true of " major league ii " and the most recent entry , " major league : back to the minors .
"
the title is , of course , a contradiction .
should n't it be " minor league ?
" that contradiction suggests the lengths to which writer / director john warren has gone to squeeze a third movie out of the formula established by the first movie .
original stars charlie sheen and tom berenger ( who returned for " major league ii " ) are not around , leaving corbin bernsen the only original headliner to make the third movie .
the other veterans who return ( dennis haysbert as voodoo - inspired batter cerrano and takaaki ishibashi as tanaka , who was introduced in " league ii " ) seem to be around just to lend legitimacy to the enterprise .
the only returning cast member who produces any laughs is bob uecker as radio announcer harry doyle ,
inexplicably broadcasting the games of a minor league team far from his home turf .
the protagonist this time around is retiring pitcher gus cantrell ( scott bakula ) , who is hired by minnesota twins owner roger dorn ( bernsen ) to manage the twins ' aaa team , the buzz .
you can write the movie from here
: he finds a group of misfits who need to learn how to play together as a team in order to win .
there 's a future superstar whose ego keeps him from growing ( walton goggins ) , an ex - ballet dancer ( kenneth johnson ) , a broken - down old timer ( thom barry ) , twin outfielders both named juan ( the difilippo triplets ) , and a couple pitchers with throwing problems ( judson mills and peter mackenzie ) . along the way , gus picks up cerrano and tanaka ( gus is supposedly an old teammate of theirs , even though he was n't in either of the preceding films ) .
sum total : none .
the entire enterprise is artificial , and the cast is not ready for the hollywood majors .
gus ' antagonist is twins manager leonard huff ( ted mcginley ) .
leonard is a slimy , sniveling little egotist , and the twins are lazy , spoiled , and full of themselves .
( even watching the first movie i wondered why any real - life team would lend itself to being caricatured in this manner ) .
gus challenges leonard to a match , the buzz vs .
the twins .
( wanna guess who wins ? )
" back to the minors " is a movie that has no reason to exist .
there 's hardly a laugh in it ,
the cast is weak , and the first movie left no room for even one sequel .
inexplicably you can write the movie from here the cast is weak the sequels are virtually guaranteed to be stale artificial has no reason to exist sum total : none . the twins are lazy , spoiled , and full of themselves