Date: 2008-10-27
To: 3 Weeks Into Re-Entry
Miles today: 0.0

Alrighty then¢¦it¢s been almost 3 weeks since I completed my hike and I¢ve got a few things to share about re-entry.I always wondered, after reading a journal, ¢What did hiker X do right after they finished?¢ Well, the day after we summited, we layed in bed and only got up to eat a late lunch at the Appalachian Trail Caf© and then take those pictures on Abol Bridge. That¢s it. I probably will (as I¢ve had a few people ask if I could write my normal account of climbing Katahdin) write that up, but it¢s not the top priority right now. I will do it though.When I woke up the day after summiting, my initial thoughts and feelings were of total relief that I no longer had to worry about resupply, figuring out the mileage for the next leg, keeping all of my gear organized so as to not waste time for packing up to get back out there. I was thrilled that I no longer had to keep up that unceasing cycle. The reason I got to the point I wanted to take multiple zero days is because a zero day spent doing trail chores gives you no mental break at all, and my brain is fragile people¢¦she needs breaks.I think it would have been an unpleasant shock if we got into our car and drove directly home the next day. We didn¢t though. We went down and stayed with V8 for a few days. Auntie Mame drove down and one of V8¢s friends was there, so us ladies had a FANTASTIC time. I¢d decided when I got into Maine, that when I finished, to celebrate, I was going to have my first Maine lobster and a shot of this brandy that Mainers seem to all know and refer to as ¢Maine¢s State Drink,¢ Allen¢s Coffee Brandy. Apparently it¢s HUGE in Maine and we overheard some locals joking about it being a ritual to buy a quart of Allen¢s, a gallon of milk, and enjoy it while sitting on your car hood at nite¢¦in a parking lot, so I wanted to celebrate in true Maine form (minus the car hood and parking lot that is). Well, V8 did not disappoint¢¦.not only did they all get fresh Maine lobster and Allen¢s Coffee Brandy (which by the way is REALLY good poured over vanilla ice cream), but then they threw me a little party with a gift bag and all!!! Can you BELIEVE that? How sweet of V8, Auntie Mame, and Joyce to do this. The coolest thing is that one of my gifts was an official pair of pajama pants with moose silhouettes all over them! LOL Thanks so much ladies, what a treasure you all are. We had such a wonderful time, but no doubt¢¦.saying goodbye sucked. Then we hopped in the car and drove a few hours over to the coast of Maine, where Talkerman (GA-ME 07) had offered us a place to stay on the water. I hadn¢t seen him since Damascus last year, during trail days, so it was great to see him and meet his wife, Mrs. Talkerman. These folks have a pretty intense life with the work they do, and yet, they still managed to make the time for some great conversation and tasty meals as well. On a side note, as Karen and I were driving to their house, we both agreed, we enjoyed the lobster so much at V8¢s, we wanted to get another one before we left Maine for good. Well¢¦guess what we had at Talkerman¢s?! We didn¢t even mention lobster, they just decided to serve it, so Karen and I were in heaven once again!! We got up one morning and walked down to the little private beach and both layed out on this huge flat rock¢¦absorbing the sun, and trying to get our brains to accept this new and sudden reality that was not completely focused on the AT. Talkerman gave us a tour of the town, and he¢s quite knowledgeable of the history of the buildings, so it was really cool.Oh, before I forget, if anyone of you millionaire¢s out there have pulled your $ out of the stock market and need a place to put it¢¦.their place at Fishpoint is for sale. It¢s an incredible place (check out a virtual tour at: http://www.visualtour.com/applets/flashviewer2/viewer.asp?t=1600817&sk=1 They are really wanting to move south and possibly open/run a hostel for AT hikers. They¢d be fantastic at it too, so how about someone just buy that house so they can start a hostel.   (plus, they promised me a commission if I found a person to buy it¢¦and well¢¦I¢m jobless, so I could really use the $). LOL So if you did check out the place, you¢ll see we had quite the scenic spot huh? We stayed with them for 2 days as well, thanks SO MUCH Mr. and Mrs. Talkerman for the stay. It was a wonderful bridging time between hiking/real life. And then finally we headed down to Brunswick, ME to visit one of Karen¢s friends. Here¢s the kicker¢¦we all went out to eat at a cool place in Brunswick and there¢s a freakin AT hiker working there!! He hiked with his girlfriend this year, but he injured himself in MA I think, so he had to get off. I think his girlfriend¢s name was Slayer? She did finished late Sept. So I got a dose of hiking talk even when we weren¢t around hikers!Finally, we took one more day driving home. It was now that I started having a few moments of freaking out. We were somewhere in PA and we stopped for lunch at Taco Bell. As I sat there, I could hear the conversations of people around me and I looked around and felt totally and completely disconnected from this world. It scared me actually. So I got up and went out to the car and then we went to gas up the car. I was standing there putting gas in the car outside and when Karen got out of the car, she saw the look on my face and asked if I was alright. Meltdown #1 happened¢¦as I¢m standing there pumping gas, crying. It¢s a tough place to be in when you feel like an outsider in the world that you know you have to join again (and didn¢t really like all that much before you left it to hike). Wow, I was so overwhelmed, looking around, seeing people all busy and stressed and making shit important that really isn¢t important at all. We got home and our boys Hank and Henry were ECSTATIC to see us, and pretty much didn¢t leave our sides for the next 24 hours. Really fun to be reunited with them. The next day was my second meltdown. We went out for a late lunch at a great Japanese place, and my town is a college town so there¢s students all over the place. When we walked into the restaurant, I caught a glimpse of what was obviously a young woman ¢dealing¢ with having lunch with her parents. What struck me was the look on her face which was as miserable as ever, but that coupled with her perfect hair and her perfectly goomed eyebrows and her perfectly selected outfit, disturbed me. It was an example for me of being so far away from ¢real¢ or authentic and it served to remind me of what I was about to step back into. We sat down at our table, I gazed outside at all of the kids walking by and the tears started again. I told Karen I felt like running and hiding out.At this point, the world out there seems plastic, fake, fabricated to me. Nothing like the dirt and mud and rocks and real living Earth I¢ve been living in for the past 6 months. The ¢important¢ life tasks we fill our time up tending to just don¢t matter. I don¢t care that I have dirty clothes in the basket¢¦I¢ve been wearing 1 outfit everyday for months¢¦why do I need so many clothes (and for most standards, I don¢t have a lot of clothes, they are all kept in a closet the size of a coat closet, with room to spare). Many days, the only thing that excites me is seeing if anyone trail-related has emailed me or if anyone has signed my guestbook. We¢ve been looking at pictures everyday as well. Like I told Banjo, it¢s so similar to the grieving process when a loved one dies and is suddenly not there anymore. It¢s been almost 3 weeks now, and I¢ve not touched my pack either. It¢s still sitting in the room just as it was when I pulled it out of the car. I made a list of crap I need to do, but I don¢t care or have the energy most days. My ass is fusing to the bed in a permanent way I think. Karen is in no better shape, as she had a very intense summer of work and then totally immersed herself for over 2 months in helping me finish, with everyday being consumed by the AT, so we¢re both out of it right now. How out of it? Well, we watched the ENTIRE Lord of the Rings trilogy in 1 day. Seems that movie seems more real to me right now than this world.We¢ve managed to go on some walks in the woods, play a game of tennis (well¢¦I am happy if I can return the ball, Karen can actually play), and I managed to apply for two jobs so far. I¢m trying SO hard to stay positive in that task¢¦job searching. I don¢t want to give up my freedom, my ability to say, ¢I¢m going to stay up until 2 a.m. and take care of my responsibilities tomorrow evening.¢ Once I get a job, it¢s back to the mandated life schedule that is not controlled by you/how you feel/your need to exercise/need to eat healthy, it¢s mandated by the dollar, work-place efficiency, dotting your I¢s and crossing your T¢s. Puke¢¦.that¢s all I have to say to that. I can be so much more productive if I¢m able to decide how my time is spent and when I do things. For example, 2 mornings ago, Karen and I, who are on other worldly schedules, woke up at 3:30 a.m. and spent the better part of 2 hours seriously discussing the possibility of making my journal into a book, how to format it, how to market it, and believe it or not¢¦.for the first time, I feel like it may be possible to do. So you see folks? I need a job that just pays me money every week, but doesn¢t require me to actually show up. Any ideas? LOL There is a glimmer of hope for me today though. Seems I¢m not the only one having re-entry woes¢¦as none other than Auntie Mame is flying down in a few days for a visit!!!!! We can¢t freakin wait to see her. We¢re hoping it will motivate us to actually put our house back together¢¦if you all remember, there was a plumbing issue that resulted in a couple of rooms getting flooded, so when we did get home¢¦everything was EVERYWHERE. Lucky for us we had a friend who was willing to spend the time moving all the stuff to a safe dry place, but it¢s tough to walk into a life that already seems disorganized and foreign and have your living space turned upside down.Last but not least, a big thing on my mind is maintaining my new level of fitness.   From the pictures I put up here, you all can see that hiking has done tremendous things for me and my body. I lost 40 lbs total and I¢m sure gained a lot of muscle, and so do not want to return to that other place. I took the before pictures on 3/9/07, three days before my hike began last year, and I took the after pictures just a few days ago, 10/25/08. I still have my dream of looking like Linda Hamilton on the movie Terminator 2, but figure I¢d have to work out 10 hours a day for 6 months WITH Arnold and seeing as how he¢s now the governor of CA, he may not be able to fit me in.So there ya go¢¦..re-entry is not all bad. I finally got to move my journal over to the "Completed Hikes" section instead of "Currently Hiking", Karen and I are getting some much needed time together, our boys are SO happy we¢re home, and it¢s really nice to have coffee every morning. The leaves are starting to change here in Virginia, so we get to enjoy the leaves changing once again. This morning, we both have headaches and body aches, but as Karen put it, ¢It¢s not a crisis, it¢s just that we notice it more because we¢re not doing anything else.¢               ~Certain