Date: 2010-07-07
From: Home

To: Katahdin
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: scattered clouds

¢The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!¢               -     Randy PauschThe doctor¢s appointment yesterday went fairly well. All the tests have been negative or normal, so I¢m no closer to resolving the issue, but at least many things have been ruled out, and the doctor feels that this is not enough to stop me if I want to go on. If there is still a problem later, we¢ll take care of it when I get back, whenever that will be.So, I¢m heading back out there. In an effort to escape the high temperatures and humidity, I will be restarting this hike in Maine. Sometime next week, probably Tuesday, Angus and I plan to summit Katahdin. We will then hike south until Angus runs out of time. He will have to get off the Trail because he¢s going ¢ wait for it - Argentina! While he¢s really way down south, I will continue on. Eventually I¢ll have to make a decision whether to hike on through extreme western Maine and the White Mountains of New Hampshire to keep the idea of a thruhike alive, or to skip the sections I¢ve done in past years and just try to complete this as part of a nine-year-long section hike.   At any rate I will probably skip the very last 15 miles or so in Maine as I have already done them, and they do not, in my mind, come even close to qualifying the AT as a ¢footpath,¢ as mentioned on the plaque on Springer Mountain. I found that area to be not just difficult but terrifying and dangerous and foolhardy in a way that I haven¢t experienced on the Trail before. I do not expect to repeat the experience.But that decision can wait. Right now I am just focusing on getting back on the trail. I need to reassemble my gear. I may get a new pack since the Osprey Ariel I¢m using doesn¢t really fit. It¢s a medium, and it turns out that a small frame would suit me much better. I need to figure out transportation and resupply points, and other details of the hike. It¢s almost like back in January, all over again with all the planning necessary.It¢s like January in other ways, too. I¢ve regained a good bit of the weight I¢d lost. (I understand that this is very common; the body continues to demand food and a high rate, but doesn¢t burn it since it¢s not hiking.) My hard-won calluses are peeling, revealing tender, pink skin beneath. My suntan is fading, and my muscles have lost some of their tone. So I expect when I hit the trail in a few days to be a blistered, tenderfooted, sunburned, and sore newbie once again. And having a great time.I¢ve had some people speculate that perhaps all the adversity ¢ the heavy snows and unusually cold temperatures in February, the record-breaking heat of May, medical issues, etc - should be taken as a sign that I should quit, give up on the dream and stay home. Believe me, it has crossed my mind as well.It¢s quite possible that it would be safer. I expect I¢m less likely to break a leg or be struck by lightning that way. It would certainly be easier to stay home. I could stay here and work on projects around the house. I could restart Come Home to Dinner Personal Chef Service, my own little baby.But there are still the reasons I wanted to attempt this hike in the first place. Some of the goals have been met. Many others, however, are still unfulfilled. I¢m not ready to give up. I¢d like to see this project through (thru?) in some fashion or another. Given the length of this brick wall that I have chosen, only time will tell whether I want this badly enough, or whether I¢m one of the *other* people. Whether I will get over or through this wall, or whether I¢m just banging my head against it.