Date: 2016-04-20
From: Wise Shelter

To: Trimpi Shelter
Miles today: 20.0
Weather: clear sky

"They say everything can be replaced. They say every distance is not near. And so I remember every face, of every man who put me here.I see my light come shining from the west down to the east. Any day now, any day now, I shall be released."------Hiking this trail on a good day is hard enough. But hiking when you're hurting inside, it is a gauntlet that could break even the toughest of human beings. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to come out here, other times I wonder if I'm cut out for this challenge that I set out before myself. I keep my faith rested in the belief that the trail will provide so long as patience and persistence prevail. The timing for me was perfect. I'm young, have minimal real life responsibilities, and few obligations to hold me back. Yet, I can't help but feel as if I'm abandoning people that I love and care for. And of course you say, "Abandoning?! You're only out for a few months!"Yes it sounds overdramatized when simplified to that perspective. All I can offer as an explanation is that there are certain aspects of this journey that will stay out of the public forum. I do my best to be as honest as possible, and as thorough as I can, but some privacy must stay in tact. The material possessions were easy to do away with and can certainly be replaced in time. I gave up my apartment, my home, to create a new home out here on the trail. I have no idea what I'll be coming back to, but I have faith it will work itself out. There are of course the personal relationships sacrificed to be here. It's not all gone with the wind, but it's incredibly difficult for me not to be available for the people I care about most. Phone calls are always helpful, and FaceTime is a miracle in itself. I've never been away from home this long and I struggle with that regularly. I've always wanted to explore the world and see what was out there, but of course that adventure leads you far from home from time to time. Each day inches me closer to those Berkshire Hills. I had always heard about the "Virginia blues" but had just assumed they would find me later on down the road.There's no need for alarm, this journey will continue. But I feel that it is my duty in these entries to maintain integrity and honesty, and let you all know that this trail is a bottomless pit of difficulty. It's not always sunny with the birds singing their happy songs. Sometimes melancholy is the mode of the day. This is still reality, and the outside world plays on while we all wander through the Green Tunnel. Every single day poses a series of trials. If this were easy, everyone would be out here doing it, and I certainly would not be. The challenge is what draws us all to the trail, the accomplishment drives us through the pain in each step. There is beauty out here some will never see, and for one reason, it has to be earned.So for now I leave you with the image of me, sitting on top of a field in the sky, surrounded by wild ponies and horses; the grass green and yellow and the landscape reminiscent of an old sepia tone photograph. These are the memories we cherish as thru hikers, but believe me, all of that walking is no filler. It is an ocean of self reflection and infinite discovery. All you have to do is take that first step and see for yourself.