Date: 2018-07-19
To: Andover, ME
Miles today: 199.9

Wow. A whole 2 weeks has passed and I¢ve been through a lot of shit. Sorry, this is gonna be a long post. Where to begin...Well for starters, I broke my phone just 2 days after my last post. I was trying to have a phone conversation with a friend while hiking in a thunderstorm. I know, so stupid. It was a really weak mental moment, okay. I¢ve mentioned before how I started this journey seeking a challenge. I never did this because I thought it would be some kind of vacation or ¢break¢. I wanted to test my limits and find out what I¢m really capable of accomplishing. These past 2 weeks have pushed that test to the extreme. It¢s hard for me to believe I¢ve made it this far (900 miles). And it¢s even harder for me to believe that I¢m not stopping. New Hampshire was intense. I expected it to kick my ass and it really did. NH is home to the ¢The Whites¢, an infamous mountain range that has the reputation for being the most physically challenging part of the trail - oh, and was it ever. ¢The Whites¢ begins with Mt Moosilauke, a five and a half mile climb with a 4,802 ft peak. I¢ll never forget that day. I was hanging out at the foot of the mountain at Jeffers Brook Shelter/Campsite. It was a Sunday afternoon (around 1:00) and I was trying to decide if I was gonna hike the mountain today or the next morning. I had already hiked 13 miles that day, so I knew going up and over the mountain was gonna be a feat. While I was eating my lunch and contemplating these big life decisions, a SoBo wandered up and introduced himself as Cheesy. ¢SoBos¢ are south-bounders that are thru-hiking the AT from Maine to Georgia, so doing the trail ¢backwards¢. They¢re a rare breed. I had already crossed paths with about a dozen a few days before, but Cheesy was the first one I¢d actually had a conversation with. It¢s hard to put our encounter into words, but we had a very weird, real moment. He had just come down Mt Moosilauke, which for him was the LAST mountain of ¢The Whites¢. I was about to finally begin my journey into ¢The Whites¢. We were both beginning two entirely different chapters of the AT and we both knew what the other person was about to experience. Talking to Cheesy was like talking to some rare, mythical unicorn that had all the answers to the future. I sat there in that shelter for nearly 2 hours with him. I eventually decided that waiting until the following day to summit the mountain just wasn¢t an option. I thought if I didn¢t do it right then and there, it wasn¢t gonna happen.It¢s so crazy to describe, but in that moment I literally felt like my stomach was gonna bottom out. I was about to attempt the most physically challenging thing I¢d ever sought out to do. And it wasn¢t just gonna be one mountain, but an entire mountain range. I was terrified. What if I couldn¢t make it? What if I got halfway up the mountain and decided it was impossible, then what? These were my thoughts the whole way up. But by the almighty grace of the heavens, I summited that god damn mountain. And then some. Besides being super hard, ¢The Whites¢ are known for being exceptionally beautiful. It¢s the only part of the trail where the mountain peaks are above tree line - and not just for a hot second on the tip of the mountain, but for like miles and miles. When I got to the summit of Mt Moosilauke, there was a day-hiker up there. Since I didn¢t have a phone anymore (and thus no camera), I got him to take my picture and send it to my dad. I used this method many more times to document my journey through the mountains. The day-hiker was from NH and while we were up there he pointed off into the distance and started naming all the mountains that the AT crossed. It was insane to stand up there and see where I was gonna be the next day, and then the next, and then the next! That¢s when it really started to sink in. I am hiking legit mountains. Everyday after that, I¢ve had to wake up with my ¢game face¢ on. No more ¢easy¢ days or ¢sleeping in¢ days. I had to wake up every morning ready to conquer. I hiked Kinsman Mt, then Mt Lafayette (my 800 mile marker), Mt Garfield and Twin Mt, then all of ¢The Presidential¢s¢ in ONE day (which included Mt Washington - the 2nd deadliest mountain in the world), and then 21 miles over the Wildcat Peaks (p.s. the cat bites back!). Took me 8 days to get through it all. Never did I think I¢d have to face the toughest part of the trail with no phone, camera, music, blogging, or friends. But shit happens I guess. I still haven¢t reconnected with my buddy Skywalker. I¢ve been hiking and camping mostly alone for the past two weeks. It honestly kinda feels like I¢m starting from the beginning again. Having the company of familiar faces definitely made the trail more manageable. And thus losing that has started to weigh on me mentally. One of my biggest mistakes was thinking that the trail would get easier once I crossed over the border into Maine. Wow, what a pipe dream. Maine is extremely fucking hard too. Go figure. Next time you have a free moment, go YouTube some videos of people going through the ¢Mahoosuc Notch¢ or climbing up the ¢Mahoosuc Arm¢. I did that shit yesterday. There¢s no more ¢hiking¢ in Maine. It¢s become strictly rock climbing. Like it should be illegal to call this shit a ¢trail¢. I¢m obviously a little jaded at the moment. Positivity and strength to keep going has been scant. Don¢t worry, I¢m not quitting. But I¢m gonna continue to complain about how hard this shit is and update everyone on every fall and stumble and mental wall I encounter. I got 250ish miles until Mt Katadhin - my halfway point. Send all the good vibes! I needs them.