Date: 2003-08-11
From: 501 Shelter

To: Union House Bed & Breakfast, Port Clinton, PA
Miles today: 23.7
Weather: light rain

My mood was so much better today. It rained ¢ poured, actually, more than once ¢ and I still got burned out climbing, but it didn¢t phase me as much. Guess that¢s a good sign.I got going around 7:15am, made it the first 15.1 miles to the shelter trail at 12:45pm, then decided to go ahead and come on into town since I thought I could get here before the PO closed. I did ¢ got here about 3:45pm, amid thunder and lightning and pouring rain!A sign on a telephone pole welcomes hikers to ¢Port Clinton, a hiker-friendly community!¢ with a map and all kinds of useful information. They may be hiker-friendly here, but the town¢s not very user-friendly. The only lodging is a hotel (which is closed Mondays) and a bed & breakfast. The only payphone ¢ get this one ¢ is in the hotel (which is closed Mondays). I guess this is when the AT Companion would have been useful¢¦I would have known this and planned accordingly. Oh well. I¢ll treat myself to a B&B!Which doesn¢t open until 5pm¢¦ So I was greeted by ¢Wayno¢(as he informed me his friends call him), a painter, who, since his drivers¢ license was revoked a month ago for a DUI, lives in a caboose (yes, a caboose) next to the B&B and works for the owner on this and the owner¢s other commercial properties in town. We shot the breeze on the patio for about 45 minutes; he gave me some orange juice when I said I didn¢t drink, and he drank two Coors Lights and smoked two cigarettes. A pleasant enough fellow, but one of those who takes the liberty to comment on physical characteristics before it feels appropriate for our level of acquaintance. (ie, ¢You¢re a big girl, you can take care of yourself¢¦¢ ¢You¢re strong, I saw the way you carried those packages¢¦¢ and, once I got cleaned up and came down to eat something, ¢Whoah! I couldn¢t even recognize you! And you smell good ¢ what is that you¢re wearing?¢ ¢Deodorant,¢ I said. Oh, all seemingly innocuous statements; I suppose only a woman who¢s ¢been there¢ and gotten that same gut feeling could understand what I mean.)Soon enough (or maybe not quite) the cook and his wife ¢ both in their 20s ¢ arrived and the bar and restaurant opened for business. Jenn checked me into a room and showed me around rather haphazardly; she¢s only worked here for a few weeks. I soaked in the bathtub awhile, and she came up and said she¢d wash my clothes. The owner has rather strict rules when it comes to hikers (hiker-friendly?), and we weren¢t sure this was allowed or not, but she said she didn¢t have anything else to do, and we figured it¢s easier to get forgiveness than permission! Besides, conveniently, there¢s nowhere else in town to do laundry ¢ except in the hotel (which is closed Mondays).Once I was clean I went down and sat at the bar with ¢Wayno¢ and another patron and had a look at the menu. Jenn¢s husband Joel went to culinary school and is an excellent chef. I had a salad (a huge plateful!) with his special balsamic vinaigrette, ¢Wayno¢ wanted to buy me some corn on the cob (did I object? It¢s food ¢ of course not!), Jenn suggested the bruschetta and made it complimentary, and Joel threw in a fresh fruit plate! Good grief ¢ I was stuffed, but all good healthy stuff! They were all very nice.Another guy was at the bar, and it was interesting to watch how Jenn kept those guys stocked on beer ¢ the minute the mug was empty she filled it back up. Bars have not heretofore been a frequent hangout for me!My room here at the Union House is small. All the furniture is antique. Hikers are supposed to leave their backpacks downstairs in the basement (bedrooms on the second floor) for some reason. On my initial tour Jenn said I was welcome to come down and get whatever I needed at any time, but the owner just didn¢t want packs in the rooms. I finally bargained to carry the pack up to the room and take what I needed out of it (which was pretty much everything) and then bring the pack itself back down. Right ¢ it made little sense to me, too. No A/C ¢ that¢s in the more expensive rooms ¢ and the windows open right onto the highway. Port Clinton could be charming, but the entire town is overshadowed by the dreadful noise of this extremely busy highway. I¢ll try to imagine it¢s the ocean, hey Mom? Or just break out those trusty earplugs¢¦ I hope my 23.7 miles will sedate me enough I won¢t hear it.It¢s frustrating not to have access to a phone. I had a whole list of people I needed to call, too. But I guess it takes the pressure off so I can just relax this evening, then I¢ll try to hit the payphone at the hotel when it opens tomorrow¢¦How in the world it¢s possible to have insomnia when I hiked over 20 miles today is beyond me, but apparently it is, because I have it.I¢m kind of feeling like¢¦I¢m done. I¢m just done. I¢m going to finish out this week, get to Delaware Water Gap and meet up with my friend from high school as we arranged, and then I¢m done. I¢ve done what was right for me.Oh I feel some regret; all the places I didn¢t get to see. I¢m not sure what to do with that statement I made last week about integrity and following through with commitments. I want to do more, but it feels as though I¢d be forcing the issue.I feel somewhat like I¢m letting people down. That begs the question ¢ am I trying to prove myself to someone? If so, who? My parents? Sisters? Former hiking partners? Former thru-hikers? Friends? Myself?I think I¢ve come to the place though where I know those whose opinion matters most will respect me as much for stopping when it was right for me to stop as they do for what I¢ve done so far. Most of all, I think I¢ve come to the point where I can respect myself for not only what I¢ve done but also recognizing when it was right to stop. I feel at peace. Almost.I¢m thinking about what all I¢ll do after I get off; about saying goodbye to the Trail. I feel both peace and turmoil; like I¢m saying goodbye to a close friend. My heart aches, and yet it feels right.