Date: 2004-12-24
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Miles today: 0.0

The day before Christmas I started my holiday shopping, finished my holiday shopping, and tentatively enlisted a Trail Journals transcriber, all as part of the same endeavor. Three birds, one stone.So it is the day before Christmas and I have not done any gift shopping and I call up Sara, who is home for the holidays, and she says, ¢Can we hang out today?¢ and I say, ¢Yes! How do you feel about coming with me while I do my Christmas shopping?¢There is a pause. ¢To the MALL?¢ she says. ¢Are you insane?¢ ¢I don¢t know where yet,¢ I admit. ¢But if it was the mall would you come?¢¢I don¢t know,¢ she says. ¢I mean, that¢s love. That¢s serious. It¢s a f**ing mob scene there. You have to be a masochist.¢¢Please?¢She sighs. ¢Come over at 1:00. I¢ll call Tammy.¢Tammy and Sara have known each other since birth or kindergarten, best as I can figure, one or the other. Their old teachers used to call them Sammy and Tara, by accident. I met them later, in first grade, when my family moved to town. Seventeen years later, we¢re still going strong, though we live in three different parts of the country now and are only rarely all in the same location at once.Later, I pull up in front of Sara¢s, get out of the car, and ring the bell.¢Hey!¢ she says. ¢Hey,¢ I say. ¢Is it 1:00, or did I f*** up?¢¢What?¢¢Well, I thought I was on time, but then my car clock said it was 2:00, and so I stopped and changed it to 1:00, like that would help, but then I was like, obviously that won¢t actually help if it IS 2:00, and oh God, that would be so like me, to be an hour late by accident.¢¢It would be like you,¢ she says. ¢But it¢s 1:00.¢I breathe a sigh of relief.¢So,¢ she says. ¢Do we have to go to the mall?¢¢No!¢ I say. ¢I figured it out. They¢re holding something for me at Barnes & Noble, and then we have to go next door to Best Buy, but we can skip the mall totally.¢¢Thank God,¢ she says.We pick up Tammy. ¢Hey!¢ I say.¢Hey,¢ she says. ¢Do we have to go to the mall?¢¢No!¢ I say. ¢I figured it out. They¢re holding something for me at Barnes & Noble, and then we have to go next door to Best Buy, but we can skip the mall totally.¢¢Thank God,¢ she says. ¢¢Cause that¢s love. That¢s serious. It¢s a f**ing mob scene there. You have to be a masochist.***Half an hour later, I¢ve bought gifts for my parents and am waiting in line at Best Buy with a Simpsons DVD for my brother. The line curves all the way around the store, back into the video game section. ¢Woohoo! Video games!¢ says Tammy. ¢We can play while we wait!¢ She punches at the video game console and looks back, stricken. ¢It isn¢t working.¢¢Sorry,¢ says Sara. ¢So Jess. About this trip.¢¢Yeah?¢¢You¢re going to be gone for six months?¢¢More or less.¢¢And you really have to carry everything with you.¢¢Really.¢¢So are you going to be, like, even more of a dirty hippie?¢¢Pretty much.¢¢It¢s kind of amazing,¢ says Sara. ¢¢Cause usually when someone is late or something and I don¢t know where they are I say ¢Maybe they got eaten by a bear,¢ but with you, it¢ll be like, ¢No really, maybe she got eaten by a bear.¢¢¢Totally amazing,¢ says Tammy.¢You sound like my mother,¢ I say, ¢only less worried.¢The line has curved around slightly, at a snail¢s pace. The video games are behind us now. We¢re standing in front of a display of vacuum cleaners, identical models all in different colors: tangerine, lime, purple.¢These multi-colored vacuum cleaners?¢ says Tammy. ¢So iMac. So ¢90s. Everyone else moved on. Shame the vacuum cleaners missed the boat.¢¢I guess,¢ I say.¢So how are you going to keep in touch?¢ Tammy asks. ¢While you¢re gone?¢¢I¢m keeping an online journal,¢ I say.¢Awesome,¢ says Tammy. ¢Something to read at work.¢¢While you¢re hiking?¢ says Sara.¢Yeah. I¢m taking a portable email device with me, so I should be able to update.¢¢Get out.¢¢Yeah. I¢ll have to find someone to transcribe for me, though.¢¢I¢ll do it,¢ says Sara.¢Really?¢¢Yeah, I¢ll be all like, ¢Jess sent me this really beautiful entry today but I don¢t feel like typing. Sorry.¢¢Well, if I do the pocketmail thing, you¢d only have to cut and paste anyway. Maybe format a little.¢¢I¢m just kidding. I¢ll totally do it. What else am I gonna do, my job?¢¢That¢d be awesome,¢ I say. ¢You don¢t have to, though.¢The line isn¢t moving very quickly. ¢Tam,¢ says Sara urgently. ¢Go around to the front of the line and bat your eyes at the guy up there and ask him to take our stuff and pay for it and we¢ll pay him back so we don¢t have to stay through the whole line.¢¢What? It¢s Jess¢s stuff! Why do I have to do it?¢ ¢You have the skills,¢ says Sara. ¢You have the Best Buy vibe. You¢re spunky.¢She looks thoroughly offended. ¢I am NOT spunky! I¢m far too ironic.¢¢Spunky and perky aren¢t the same, you know,¢ I offer.¢Of course not. Hey, do you think I¢m talky?¢¢What?¢¢Dave says I¢d be a good teacher ¢cause I¢m talky. Am I?¢Sara and I exchange glances. ¢Sort of,¢ says Sara. ¢It depends.¢¢Like you are when you¢re talking to someone you like about something you¢re interested in,¢ I say. ¢But you¢re not when you see someone you don¢t want to talk to and you ¢¢¢Run and hide,¢ finishes Sara.¢Well,¢ says Tammy. ¢There is that.¢¢You¢re totally getting eaten by a bear,¢ says Sara.¢I¢m not getting eaten by a bear,¢ I say.¢Are too,¢ says Tammy.Finally, we get to the head of the line. I pay, and we step outside into the cold air.¢See, that wasn¢t so bad, right?¢ I say. ¢In and out, really fast, right?¢¢I¢ve never been in and out that fast in my life,¢ says Sara.Tammy has a curious look in her eye. ¢I forgot,¢ she says. ¢This is how you live.¢¢What do you mean?¢¢Like in high school, sophomore year, when you wrote that whole thesis the weekend before. This is what you do, and it just¢¦works out.¢She¢s right. I remember that weekend vividly. The project had been assigned in mid-October, and was due the first Monday in May. I started it the Saturday before. First time I ever pulled an all-nighter for school. I stayed up with the help of dozens of cups of really strong Irish Breakfast tea. Every time I finished a page I rewarded myself with a trip to the bathroom. Write a page, pee. Write a page, pee.But it¢s been eight years since then. I¢ve gotten better, really. I¢m not that bad about procrastinating anymore.¢I¢ve gotten better, really,¢ I say. ¢I¢m not that bad about procrastinating anymore. Mostly, I mean, you know, not counting Christmas shopping. Give me a little credit.¢¢You don¢t understand,¢ she says. ¢I am giving you a TON of credit.¢¢Anyway!¢ I say brightly. ¢All done! What do you guys want to do now? Whatever you want, since I dragged you here.¢Hey!¢ Tammy pipes up, perturbed. ¢You dragged SARA. I WANTED to come.¢ ¢Thanks,¢ I say. ¢So where do you want to go now?¢¢I want to buy cheese.¢ ¢That badly?¢¢Yeah.¢¢So we¢ll buy cheese.¢¢Awesome.¢¢Tammy?¢¢Yeah?¢¢Is earnestness the new irony?¢¢That IS the question, isn¢t it?¢¢Really,¢ says Sara, ¢I¢ll be your transcriber. What else am I gonna do?¢This one¢s for you, Sara.