Date: 2005-05-07
From: Damascus, VA

To: Damascus, VA
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

Damascus, VA0 miles (459.5 total miles)I had an okay night sleeping at The Place. It seems like every time I am there, the police are too. His time they were looking for some stolen backpacking gear. We had an early breafast at the Old Barn with Lion King. We checked the post office again for a late package, then prepared for our big relaxing day in Abingdon.It was the weekend before Trail Days, and Damascus was holding a huge town-wide yard sale. There were mostly older folks rummaging all through town, looking for good deals. They were all very friendly, saying hello to us hikers as we passed, so I thought it would be an easy, safe hitch. We walked to the edge of town (where a car could easily pull over for us), and stuck out of thumbs. A lanky fellow walking by asked where we were going. We said Abingdon. "Well, this is your lucky day," he told us.We should have known better, as something did not seem quite right. "Be careful," he said as we hopped in the van. "You're sittin' on my bed." He got in and proceeded to tell us that he lives in this van at the truck stop in Abingdon. JoAnne and I were both feeling nervous, so we tried to lighten the mood with some polite conversation. "So, where are you from originally?" JoAnne asked. "Newport News," our driver answered. "When I left 4 years ago, there was a big newspaper article about me. I was on the front page. There was even a picture." There was an awkward silence. We both knew what we were supposed to say in this situation, but we didn't want to know the answer.Finally JoAnne meekly asked, "What was the article about?" Our driver turned and looked back at us (while driving on the curvy road). "It's about a guy... a millionaire. He started doing too many drugs, and lost it all. That cocaine will mess you up, man!" He was yelling. I eyed the door in case we needed to jump out. I had no idea what to say in this situation to keep things calm. He focused on the road again and became quiet."But I'm getting back on track now. I saved all my money for 2 years. I bought this van to live in." "Well, it's a nice home you have here," one of us stupidly managed to say. "Yeah, nice home," he repeated sarcastically. "I used to own a big real estate company. I was a millionaire. But the government was jealous. They're the ones who sold me all the drugs and messed me up!" He was yelling again. I just wanted out of the van.There was another long, awkward silence. Finally our driver changed the subject. "I've been saving all my money again. I bought a wedding ring. Now I just have to fnd smeone to marry me," he chuckled. I rearranged the escape plan in my head to push JoAnne out the door first if it came to that. "Yeah, I'm a painter," he went on. "I've painted walls all over this area." "Have you painted anything we may have seen? Any of the murals in town?" JoAnne asked politely. "No, nothing like that," he replied. "I paint messages on the walls. My favorite is 'Jesus loves Moo Moo Bunny' I write that all over the place. I just can't stop thinking about Moo Moo Bunny. But I know for a fact that Jesus loves Moo Moo Bunny."I had no idea what we were even talking about any more. He asked JoAnne to fetch the Bible from under the seat, and she obeyed. She looked for some pamphlets he had printed out. He pointed out the truck stop where he lived as we drove by. I wondered where he was taking us. I planned our escape again if he turned onto the interstate. "You wanted to go to the movie theater, right?" "Yeah, or anywhere really." I said. When JoAnne couldn't find the pamphlets, he said he's have to dig around in the glove compartment. I just hoped he didn't have a gun in there. But before we could find out, he pulled into the movie theater parking lot.JoAnne had the door open and was dragging me out of the van before it had pulled to a complete stop. She had her pack on, and thanked him for the ride. He told us to hold on. He told us it was his duty to speak out against the devil and the US government because they were so closely connected. Then he pulled out his guitar and told us to come closer for some songs he wrote. (We each took one step backward.) He sang us a soft song about the devil. After just one song, JoAnne and I thanked him, complemented his music, and wished him luck. Then we turned and calmly walked away. We could hear him yelling as we departed, "That's it? I gave you a ride out here, and you're just leaving me? I finally had an audience, and you won't even stay to hear me out!" We never looked back.The 2 of us walked straight ahead for about a mile. We were both somewere between scared that this crazy guy might run us down, and grateful that we made it out alive. After about a mile, we stopped to collect ourselves. Did all that really just happen? We backtracked (slowly) past the theater to the motel area. We rented a room where we each collapsed onto our own beds with a collective sigh of relief.We didn't want to let our scary morning ruin JoAnne's relaxing birthday weekend. So after we calmed down and cleaned up, we walked back to the movie theater. We watched the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which didn't have any tips on what to do if you hitch a ride with a guy obsessed with 'Moo Moo Bunny'). We did enjoy the movie, although it ws a bit of sensory overload after 6 weeks in the woods. Then we headed for dinner at the nicest restaurant within walking distance: the Cracker Barrel. We were locked away safely in our motel room long before dark.After all that happened today, I still feel relieved and basically happy to be alive. How could we have been so stupid? We have hitched plenty of times near the trail, and never had the slightest reason to be concerned. But as a fellow hiker told us tonight, sometimes we need scary experiences like this to learn a lesson.