Date: 2003-09-02
From: Garfield Ridge Campsite

To: Galehead Hut
Miles today: 2.7
Weather: overcast clouds

So, todays stats....four hours and forty-five minutes.....2.7 miles.Can you believe it?! OK..so am done with the White Mountains. You can officialy stick a fork in me. And, you know what? It is ok! I spent much of todays hike crying and struggling, just like yesterday, and the day before. The idea that this is truly too difficult for me no longer bothers me. Now, it is just a fact. After the second big, ugly rock wall today, I said "no more." I have reached my limit.However, I had some really big "light bulb moments". I realized that I had a long list of personal attributes that I thought hiking the AT would bring me. Lately, I have been really beating myself up because not only do I not have all of those qualities after over 600 miles, but also that it doesn't look like I am going to get them. It occured to me today that out of all of those qualities, some, I already have, some I will never have, and some, I can cultivate over time, but that it might take a lot longer than seven months!AND, I realized that not only had I been putting a lot of pressure on myself, but that I had been looking for the AT to be more than the trail that it is. My goals in this world are attainable anywhere, not just on the AT. And if I hike til I am done, ad I still haven't accomplished all that I wanted, it doesn't mean I failed....it just means that I am not done yet. Does that make sense? In other words, the trail is separate and apart from my own personal goals, so I need to stop, as I told Bumpkin, "looking for Easter Eggs under the Christmas tree". I am going to start looking at the trail as just that..the trail. An entity on which to test myself, and learn about myself. I just need to stop expecting it to provide things that it cannot. As far as "light bulb moments" goes, it was a pretty big one.So, tomorrow I am going to hike down to the car, and arrange to hike somewhere that is not quite as hairy. For those of you that believed that there was nothing that I can't do, know that until a few days ago, I totally agreed with you. I hope I have not let you down.As far as todays hike went...I will not bore you with tales of unending rock scrambles up and down. It was rugged and hard. Let's just leave it at that. However, I met some really nice people, and ran into a surprising amount of old familiar faces! The neatest one was a woman that walked towards me and started sputtering, "You...you..uh...you!" She was pointing and gesturing til she finally said, "I met you and your mom in Damascus, on the Creeper Trail!". Kismet! Mom and I had bought her lunch at the Ole Barn as trail magic, but we had not stayed around to see if she got it.... Instead we just left her name and some money. Well, she go it! We spent some time catching up, and then she and her friend, Spock, gave me lots of advice on what was to come. Advice, might I add, that was full of very scary information!! However, it was so wonderful to see her again! I am so proud of her and how far she has come!We also ran into two young men that we stayed at the Four Pines Hostel with, and a man that I met in Perrisburg at the Holiday Motor Lodge. Even though I only met these people for a few moments, seeing them again is like seeing old friends. It really did make my day!!!As my hike came to an end, I looked up to see Jerry waiting in the middle of the trail for me. I went inside to find that Bumpkin had saved me a bottom bunk and was mixing up hot chocolate for me. Can you see how lucky and blessed I am to have such great trail companions?! Now, we are at one of the AMC huts, lucky to find some open beds for the night. These are like hotel/hostels up along the trail in the White Mountains. Along with a bunk bed, you get dinner and breakfast, along with great company and a warm place to stay. The huts are run by groups of young men and women called the "croo", and they make several trips a week down the mountain to haul out trash and haul up supplies. These people are amazing! Not only do they work their tails off, they make room for thru hikers to do "work for stay" when they can. These spots are coveted among thru hikers, and all the available spots were filled when I got here, so I am a paying customer for the night. I am really glad that I am here! Emphasis on the "really"!Tomorrow I hike down, and by then I will know what our plans to come will be. Until then, I will be warm tonight!! Love, Anna aka Mud Butt