Date: 2010-12-16
To: View Entry
Miles today: 0.0

It was a collective voice.  A collective voice that became my own.  I've heard it before, but never recognized it until I heard it on the trail.  It's a collective voice of people, situations and life lessons.  That voice echoes in your ear when you need it to.  It's always been there, you just have to have the courage to listen to it.  The voice has a limited vocabulary, but what it says is always exactly what you need to hear.  Over the past several months, it's said the same thing over and over.  It is simple command, but gut wrenchingly hard to comply with.  It simply said....."don't you quit John"I heard it first at a young age.  It started with the "little engine that could".......I think I can I think I can.  Seeds are planted even that early.  Than in little league your coaches begin to mold that voice.  When you 6 years old you learn that when you hit the ball, you run as hard and fast as you can right through first base.......don't you quit John.My Pop Pop used to always say "John, there are going to be times in your life when you fall flat on your face.  When that happens, you pick yourself up and you keep going".  Of course at a young age I thought he meant falling off my bike.  But then i actually fell on my face just the way he meant, and the lesson became evident.  It was Pop Pops voice......don't you quit John.I heard that voice in the Army.  It was my Drill Sergeants, than my platoon sgts, friends and comrades.  It was the voice of Americans I swore to protect.  It was the voice of any and every soldier who may have one day needed me to be a soldier who would never quit on them even in the worst of conditions..........don't you quit John.I heard it in College.  It spoke to me on those late nights studying in the basement of the library.  It was the voice of people, who at that time were at home and healthy.  But one day they would need me to be that guy in the library until it closes every night.  Some day they would be laying in a hospital bed in front of me clinging to life.  On that day they would need me to be that nurse that scratched and clawed, even if only for a B.  They would one day need me to be the nurse that would never quit on them........don't you quit John.It was my girlfriend Aubrey.  She knew she held the ejection handle on this hike all along.  That my relationship with her was so much more important than a trail.  But she told me to walk to Georgia, and than I could come home to her.  She needs me to be a guy who won't quit.  It was her voice.....don't you quit.It was my friends, my family, my God. It was unborn children that will need a father that would never quit.  It was all of you.  Even if I could have quit on myself, I would never have quit on you.......don't you quit John.It speaks the loudest when times are toughest.  When fatigue and hunger consume you, when the mountains never end, and when the water is scarce.  "just a little farther, you can do this.....don't you quit John".  In the moments of the most desperation, when you just can't go one more step, when the towel is in your hand ready to be thrown........Nooooooooooo.........don't you quit John.Than it faded.  It's never gone entirely, it's always there if I need it.  But the voice knew, it knew it brought me the distance.  This morning, as I headed out for my last day, the voice was gone.  The collective voice took a collective sigh.  It sat back, grinned and bragged among the other voices.  Watch this......that's my third baseman........that's my grandson......that's my son.......that's my brother..........that's my soldier........that's my Lieutanant.......that's my Nurse.......that's my boyfriend.........that's our Churchill.  As I began my walk to Springer, the voice was already there.