Date: 2005-03-06
From: Unicoi Gap (Helen)

To: Addis Gap
Miles today: 7.0

First TearsToday started out great.  Well, pretty good a least.  Around 6am Gravity became restless, tossing and moving about.  I was still in dream land, the room was still pitch dark, the girls we were sharing the room with (Cat Toy and Rocky) showed no signs of wakefulness.  Then the whispers of sweet nothings into ear begain:  "eggs, hashbrowns, toast, coffee."  That's what finally got me, the thought of hot, yummy coffee.  Guess I'm still a bit of an addict.  Way, way too lazy to make it in the woods.  But in town, bring it on!  So we ate a yummy breakfast with the girls, who did wake up when Gravity elevated the volume of his whispers.We then all packed and headed towards the edge of town to thumb a ride.  A nice local clued us in and told us that the best place to hitch was down by Betty's Country Store.  Apparently they get a lot of pick-up traffic.  Pick-ups are often the most likely rides since they can stick us smelly hikers in the back, and remain immaculate while doing a good deed.It only took a few minutes outside of Betty's before an Xterra pulled over.  By this time we'd met back up with Spoonie, Stick and SciFi, who also stayed in town.  The Xterra had room for 5, so we let them take this ride and Gravity and I waited for the next one.  It is easier to hitch as two, and we didn't have to wait long.The first climb up Rocky Top was steep and pretty long.  Since it was first thing in the morning it wasn't too bad though.  Today was the most beautiful day yet.  Warm, clear and no wind.  A perfect day for Tray Mountain!  The views were as spectacular as I remembered them.  We took pictures and rested there for a while with Spoonie, Stick and SciFi.  Miles McDuff arrived shortly after we did.  He is amazing:  61 years old, had open heart surgery last year, was shot twice in 'Nam and he flies past Gravity and I on the descents.  Wow!Had a hot lunch at the Tray Mountain Shelter, then pushed on.  Despite more climbing, things went somewhat downhill for me this afternoon.  Spoonie, SciFi and Stick were a bit ahead of us all day.  We still had 5.5 miles to our planned stopping point for the day:  Addis Gap.The past couple of days I have found that I have 2.5 - 3 miles in me at a time, then I need a break.  My feet are really feeling the pounding now, and they hurt pretty badly this afternoon.  So we walked about 2.2 miles and my feet were really hurting.  I asked that we take a break and we did.  But I guess Gravity was anxious to catch up with the Gang, so we only took about 10 or 15 minutes.  That just wasn't enough time for my feet to reset, and when we got going again, they were still really hurting.  I was very upset as I felt that I really needed a longer break, but we cut it short to catch up.  I also think that we have been pushing the miles just a little too much.  I think we need a few days of stepping back so the feet and muscles can recover and get stronger.  I was explaining all of this with some degree of wifely emphasis, when Gravity alerted me that there was a hiker behind us who we needed to let pass.  I don't know how long he was there, but needless to say, I was mortified. Upset and embarrassed are *not* a good combination.  And as soon as the hiker passed and was out of sight, it happened.  I had my first cry.  Overwhelmed by fear, embarrassment, frustration and anger, I cried.  I wanted to scream, but I just let the tears run down my face, and I stood there and felt sorry for myself.  The hurting feet and the feeling like we are pushing harder than we should just brought on all the emotions from the last hike.  The fear of being in pain for months on end, of being pushed further and faster than I am ready.  Most of all though the deep dark fear of failure.When we did finally make it to camp, after I had wiped my nose and pulled it mostly together, we found that the gang had pushed on another 1.8 mi to the shelter.  Salt on the wound!  All that hurrying, pain, tears and they weren't even here.  Arrgghh!!!Snuggled in the tent now, feeling still a bit sore and dejected.  Tomorrow will be a nero into Hiawassee.  Only 5.3 miles.  My feet are so excited!  Hopefully the short day will help, and maybe we will do another short day out on Thursday.  I am going to try to get some of those cushioned gel insole things from the drug store.  Hopefully those will get me through the next few weeks until my full length custom orthotics come in.  I really, really hope they help!Danger