Date: 2017-06-11
From: Craig Creek

To: Four Pines Hostel
Miles today: 6.5
Weather: few clouds

Today was a low motivation day. The thought of putting on the same salt and sweat saturated outfit that I've worn for the past 700 miles made my bug bitten skin crawl. As an added bonus, we spent the morning discussing mileage logistics. I was in a mental state that left me craving zero day after zero day, forever... But rather I sat in my tent and talked to my friends about 20 mile day after 20 mile day for seemingly, forever. Normally I would peal off and go my own pace without hesitation; however, I'm currently stuck in a slightly more complicated situation. There's a section of the trail approaching where we have the option to either paddle the Shenandoah River or hike the Shenandoah mountains. We've been discussing this trip since the beginning of the trail and I've been hoping to canoe with the goon squad down the river. While I'd love to go my own pace, I also want this trip to come into fruition. Family Feud: I choose to hike this trail alone intentionallyBut community is importantCommunity is comfortableI guess all things that make you laugh Also make you cry if you stick around long enoughI want the freedom to hike at my own paceI need the freedom to hike at my own paceI try to be flexibleBut I'm afraid that if I bend too much, I'll break.I cannot predict the futureNor do I know what I'm capable ofI must prioritize my own basic needs over the desire to be socialYet I find myself questioning:Is social support too integrated in my mental health to give up?I had a great moment sitting on a bench along the trail today (yeah, a bench!). I was journalling about parting ways with my 'trail fam' and simultaneously reflecting about how there are always more people to connect with out here when a hiker arrived who I had briefly met way back in the Smokies. Turns out we we had talked about playing music together but never crossed paths again. He played a song on my ukulele that I could sing along to and it was quite the special moment, best musical connect I've had on the trail involving my uke (the other jams I've enjoyed have always had a violin in the mix).My plan was to hike 15 miles to Four Pines Hostel. However, halfway through the day I stopped at a river, took a dip and soon after a shuttle from the hostel arrived at the request of a hiker behind me. I took it as a sign that I was done hiking for the day. I'm not going back and making up the 7 miles I skipped today. I'm already feeling bogged down by miles and behind my bubble. Many of the friends ahead of me have skipped 25-70 mile sections. The hostel owner let me drive his van to the store. I would up running a couple shuttles for hikers to and from restaurants. It was fun to drive! There's no laundry at the hostel because the sewage system is backed up so I showered with my dress on so I could wash it as well as myself. Hiker standards are low.I rationed my food very intentionally throughout the last 80 miles and had plenty of food to last today, my final day of this food supply period. I was proud of myself for finally avoiding the issue that has made me miserable several times in the past. Today I also received my replacement umbrella in the mail from sea to summit. Couldn't be more happy about this beautiful new piece of gear! We haven't had a rainy day since my umbrella broke, the trail provides. I also acquired another camping spoon today so I no longer need the plastic spoon I've been using for 200 miles.