Date: 2011-06-01
From: Buena Vista, VA US 60

To: Piney River Campsite
Miles today: 11.5

Today was brutal mentally and physically! It was the hottest I've been on the trail yet and I took more breaks than I ever have before. I know I can physically be here, finish the trail, and achieve my goal; mentally, I've very tired and worn out. Everyone says "give it time" and I agree. "You are going to have bad days in the real world too, just like out here!" Sparkplug said while talking to her about ending my hike for this year. I miss my family, Laura, and my life back home very much. I feel depressed which is something I haven't felt since my young teenage years. Vista quote "if you need to stop, stop now before you ruin your love for hiking all together." I agree with this very much! I thought I would never say it, but being out here made me realize how much I actually want to be back at school and receive a degree. At this point on the trail, it is no longer fun for me to be out here. I get up early, eat, hike, eat, hike, eat, hike, set up camp, eat, sleep - everyday. I absolutely love the people on the trail! The environment is unlike any other! If anyone asked me "should I hike the AT?" I said ABSOLUTELY no matter the type, race, or charter of person. Hike a mile, hike 815 miles, or hike 2,200 miles. You'll love it, hate it, and think about it for the rest of your life. I've gotten more than I wanted or expected out of this hike. I no longer need to be out here for myself. If I'm not mentally here on the trail, then I don't feel I should be out here. - I believe it's time to go home - I'll start working, and go back to school in the fall. The trail isn't going anywhere (hopefully) so I can come back and section hike the rest of this. I plan to do at least 1/3 next summer; maybe more. I'll finish THIS hike in sections. I'll plan for a COMPLETED thru hike later in life when I'm mentally set to be out here for 6 long months. Tomorrow I plan to hike to the Dutch Haus B&B not too far from the trail head at mile marker 815. I will call this the end of my hike for now! 815 miles if nothing I'm ashamed of. I don't feel I've wasted any time or money being out here. I've loved all of it; I've hated some of it. My memories from this hike with me with me for a lifetime. The people I've met out here will be in my hearts forever. Maybe I need to take a couple of weeks off and get my mind right, but we'll see once I'm home. The last thing I want to hear is "I can't believe you quit!" I'll simply say to them "I hiked my own hike" and that is exactly what I did. I thought I was going to be alone tonight but California, Coyote from Jay Maine, Vitsa, Lady Shurpa, and a few others are here which is very nice. I've talked to most of them about getting off the trail. It's been going on for a few weeks, and now it's time. Everyone days wait till a nice day to quit; tomorrow is supposed to be in the 70s and sunny, so we'll see what happens. "Home is where you make it" - Forrest Gump. This trail has been my home for the last 815 miles. It's a narrow, long, big home! I never slept in the same spot twice and was always within walking distances of the next My hike was amazing! It's simply my choice to end this hike. It's a very hard thing to do and doesn't come without tears falling on the journal page in front of me now. Anyone will receive memories for a lifetime out here, and there is no doubt about that. I cannot thank everyone enough for those of you who supported me along this way. I thought about all of you constantly and it meant a lot to me. I want to say thanks to all the guys on the WERA forum who checked in on me and offered me more homes to stay in than I can list. The AT will be a part of me forever! This will be my last night on the trail.........for now!