Date: 2010-04-27
From: Hot Springs NC

To: Erwin, TN
Miles today: 11.2
Weather: moderate rain

4/27 Erwin, TN 11.2 milesWe had a cold wet rainy night in our tent and woke to a cloudy sky with bits of sun peaking out. We struggled with the idea of hitching from Spivey Gap to get to town and dry out but there were NO passing cars for over an hour so we hiked up toward No Business Knob Shelter and Dutch Tape and I ended up having a difficult day together. After some disagreements, we split up for an hour or two and hiked on. At lunch time HD Momma and CB had a chat and ate at the shelter while DT hiked by. HD Momma caught up to DT and the two chatted for a while about life and CB caught up to enjoy the freezing downpours for the rest of the afternoon. We both made or peace and enjoyed our time together, although tiring, hiking the last three miles to town. HD Momma and her husband, Richard and their dog Daisy (a chihuahua dreesed to the nines in her little dress...) were waiting for us and gave us a ride to the super eight hotel and we are happy to be clean and warm again. We joined ten other hikers at the Azetca Mexican restaurant and made absolute pigs of ourselves. The Professor, Sparky, Fairy Princess and her hubby Red Beard, Dartman, Rockstar and her husband Magenet, Mad Mike and the English Couple (didn't catch their trail names) were all there enjoying each others company. A Word Of Note: we made the mistake of calling the taxi suggested by the hotel. DON'T DO IT! it cost us $30 for a 2 mile ride! Next time I will walk it!  We want to share some of the challenges we are having over the last few days that hiking as a couple has brought us. I mentioned that we had some disagreement today. One problem we have been struggling with is the different hiking speeds and styles that we have. This goes hand in hand with our age difference and differing physical abilities. Dutch tape is still working on gaining the strength and stamina levels needed to complete this hike in six months. Also, she is not sleeping or eating well and has been feeling tired because if it.  Because I can go farther and faster, I have been walking behind DT and allowing her to set the pace. This sometimes causes a problem because she feels that I am driving her and so I have tried walking in front but find that I walk five minutes, stop and wait until she catches up and start walking again. This causes the other problem of my always being rested and she always walking. Also trying to plan distances has been very tough. Some of the shelters and campsites are a good distance apart and it is not easy to tell how tough the trail is going to be or how far we can travel for the day. That said, today I was ready to quit. This is the third time in four days. After we argued this morning I turned around and was heading back to Spivey gap to hitch out and quit. DT walked on  I stopped and sat down for 15 minutes, my head in my hands, crying knowing that all of our planning was for naught. I looked up and saw the water from the stream cascading down through the rhododendrons and thought this was the most beautiful thing in the world and couldn't believe it was the end.  All of the hours and weeks and months of work and saving wasted.  This was our one and only chance to do this together and I only wanted this if we could do it as a couple and I got mad. After a few minutes I decided that I would confront DT and that I was not going to try and protect or coddle her. It was time to make her understand that I was here to walk with her, as a couple at her pace and that I have done all I can to try and make this work but I didn't have control over the weather, her abilities, if her body hurt or if she was wet and cold and wanted to be in town even if it was still a day away  When I caught up I let in on her and really set her blood to boil and put my foot down. It was our come to jesus talk and we both said things we would regret. We couldn't stay in each others company after that (oil and vinegar et al) so I sped on and left her to fend for herself. Thank goodness I ran into HD Momma later. She helped us mend our ways and really saved our hike today. I am in her debt. So the moral of our story today is that if you hike with you wife, partner or significant other, you WILL have disagreements and you will fight and it is THE hardest thing you will ever do together. If you can servive it as a couple, you will be forever enriched by the shared experience and the memories together are irreplaceable.PS I love you Ham. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. If today really were the end of our hike, it was still the best time of my life and I will remember every moment and charish every memory.