Date: 2006-06-30
From: Sabbath Day Pond Lean-to

To: Poplar Ridge Lean-to
Miles today: 20.1
Weather: light rain

5:06 pmToday wasn't that bad. Tomorrow really will be, but today the first 11 were a complete cruise so I was able to both walk fast and not feel tired already by lunchtime. Kaptain and Moses were both kind of having shit days this morning, but I think they both feel somewhat better now. I didn't have the best day ever, but didn't have a bad one either. It feels rare that I am feeling the best of the group. Like I said, this morning was easy. Just rolling hills, really. Lunch was at a nice shelter with the double seater privy that we've heard so much about. It has a sign that says "your move" on the outside, and inside are two seats with a cribbage board between them. 7:04 pm We tried calling Lockjaw, Team Steve, and Sunshine earlier. No answers, which isn't really surprising, I guess. I haven't heard from Lockjaw since I talked to him in Gorham, though, so I'm kind of bummed about that. Hmmm. Hopefull everything's okay and he just hasn't checked his phone anywhere when he has a signal. I got a voice-mail message from Kathryn today, which was really nice. I have such great friends. Plus my parents bought me a new digital camera. That's like the sweetest thing ever. I really appreciate it. See, my camera broke while I was out here, so I sent it home. They sent it to Sony (it's still under warranty) and they "fixed" it and sent it back, but when my parents sent it back to me I soon discovered that it was still acting up, so I sent it back. In Andover, I discovered in my food drop package a shiny new camera, one even nicer than my last, which I'm taking very careful care of. Very nice. As usual, I have a lot of thoughts. I'm not sure how well I'll do at writing them out, though. One thing is, and I wrote this in the shelter register tonight, I really hope that this isn't one of those experiences where you say to the people around you "I'll always remember you, I'll always remember this, you mean so much to me, and let's always be friends" and then a month later you haven't talked or written, and a year later, when you try, it's awkward instead of nice. I've had camps and stuff like that before. Intense times shared with cool people. And we vow to not forget. And inevitably somehow our humanity gets the better of us and we do forget, even though we were absolutely sincere at the time. This, of course, is so much larger and harder and more real than anything I've done before. Still, I am so afraid that it will be the same, and I will be so disappointed if it is. I want to be able to randomly email Team Steve and say "remember the time...?" and have him make me laugh like he did every day while we hiked together. I want Sunshine to really drop by if he's ever in Portland and call every once in a while to tell me about living on the West Coast. I want to go to SC (even though I'm prone to bashing it) and see Lockjaw (and Monkey, while I'm there, if I can) and see how he lives away from the trail and share that, the way we shared shelters and hostels and mountains. I am, I now believe, a person worthy of love. And I've felt that on the trail. And even if I go out into the real world and receive immense love and support from my friends and family, I will ultimately be disappointed if the same isn't true for the people I learned that most important fact from. My feet hurt. Haha; in the end there's no escaping that. Almost time to rest.....