Date: 2007-02-24
From: Devil's Fork Gap

To: Sam's Gap 1
Miles today: 4.0

I reloaded my pack again... it sits on the floor like a dragster waiting patiently for the drive out to the starting line. It is a fast looking pack with great lines, but these next few days are just test runs. Take her out slow I hear over and over again. Keep that foot off the gas, you can see how fast she will go in a month or so.I'm reluctant to plan my food drops because I'm not at all sure I will be making enough of the trek to bother. My main goal is to get a couple of weeks under my belt and then worry about the next five and a half months. In two weeks time I should know.In two weeks time I will know, not if I have a disease or a job but whether I have the mettle to make it two months. In two months I will know, not if I have the mettle and money to make it six months but whether I have the inclination to grind it out to the bitter end, all the way through summer and directly into fall.In two more days I will know where I will be starting, I will know the final contents of my pack. In two more days I will know if it will be raining or sunny, warm or cold. Today, I sit on the sofa wondering why the morning paper didn't show up on time. I drink coffee while enjoying the day off but still going through the dance of figuring out who will be the first one in the shower.I've left my job and I've committed to being a better writer. I've committed to turning up the artistic bent in my musings until I make myself laugh so hard that snot flies from my nose and cry so humanely that I refuse to wipe the tears as they stream down my cheeks and onto the wonderful brown Earth that forms the boundaries of the Appalachian Trail.Yesterday was such a day. A day when the tears and the laughter came easily and where there was no wondering over their cause. I walked away from my wonderful job that I enjoyed so much. The last patient I saw saying words so kind and so affirming that I walked from the room knowing I am just starting on my path as a therapist, that my best days lie still ahead. As I walked through the woods to the cadence of my hiking sticks, on my final practice hike the tears welled up on me over and over as I thought about the wonderful world I live in and the wonderful life God has given me. I passed a guy I knew and several I didn't know and each time I had to wipe the tears from my cheeks hoping that they wouldn't realize this grown man had been crying. What is there that is potent enough to make a grown man cry anyway? For this man, it is casting off the bow lines that have been holding me steady to the shore. For this man, it is raising anchor and setting off on a voyage where I have a goal but no assurance of far I will get or even what the weather will be.I say to myself: do not wrestle with the nay sayers who question why you go. Do not entertain those voices in your head that suggest a too harsh trip. I say to myself: listen to that spirit that calls you forth, listen to your heart that brings the tears and joy, do not be afraid to go it low and slow. The joy of casting off all schedules is a good enough goal and this is a goal I have achieved. What's next?I couldn't hang around town another day and yet I didn't want to go all the way to Springer since I was afraid I might not make it to Neel's Gap. Consequently I became a flip flopper. I had my wife follow me up to Sam's Gap and I left a car there and drove back to Asheville. I then drove to Devil's Fork Gap and started hiking from there. It is a long, steep climb out of the valley there. The trail follows a stream that is quite lovely. By the time I reached the ridgeline it was gettting dark and windy. I pressed on until I came to a tent site and made camp there. My hip hurt for a couple of hours in the tent but finally quit hurting. It was a very windy night with rain toward morning.