Date: 2018-01-07
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Miles today: 0.0

Well, 2018 is off and running, complete with the longest stretch of extreme cold weather (sub-zero) that I can recall in my decades of living here in NH. It gives me time to train indoors while cooking and dehydrating food that I will package and eat on my thru-hike. It gives me time to pause and reflect on the magnitude of my life and the abundance of people and experiences for which I am most grateful. I have a wonderful life, and my thru-hike journey is not to escape any of that, but rather to find something perhaps I haven't spent enough time looking for all of these years. Me.  For decades I have devoted myself to the wants and needs of others. That's not a complaint, just a fact, and it worked for me all these years. I started working at 12 as a babysitter and at 15 on payroll and I have owned my own businesses since I was just 17. I've worked more hours in these years than many who are a generation older than myself. Work has been an escape of sorts for me, keeping me fully occupied mentally. I'm also a wife and mother. I've left, or taken, very little time for myself, always thinking "there will be time later". What if "later" never comes?In 2016 illness took over and 2017 was a year of much needed healing. I'm actually thankful for the illness, as it brought me the healing which brings me to this point in my life. My previous work habits can no longer be endured. It was years ago, at our local EMS store, while buying gear for our son's first Boy Scout overnight and while standing in line at the checkout I read the back of a book....on the Appalachian Trail. I'd never heard of it prior to that, but once read...I could never forget it either. It grabbed me by the hand (and heart). I knew at that moment that "some day" I would hike it...all of it. "Some day" is something I reflect upon differently now. Having lost 2 young, outstanding fellow business owners and pillars of community pride and support whom I called friends and had such admiration and respect for in 2017 has helped me to understand that "some day" must be a day that we actively choose....or it may never come. It's important for me to understand that taking time to pursuit ones dreams outside work and family is important and that I am worthy of that opportunity. My wonderful husband Brian and I have spoken for years about hiking the trail together. And maybe we will still plan to do that. However the gentle tug of the trail for me has become an undeniable shout and arm twist that I can not deny. And there is no doubt for me that this is "My Turn". With 100% unwavering support Brian will be there for me and the thought of that causes me to overflow with emotion. He'll take care of my business, along with our son, and also be my trail boss, responsible for getting me gear, drop boxes and anything else I physically need on the trail. And his emotional support will be indescribable. I'm so Blessed. I could not ask for more. There is much for me to do, both at home and at work to ready myself for the trail. I am up for the challenge. This is My Year, this is My Hike and this is my Courage to Heal. This is a stroll for my soul. "Puddles"