Date: 2011-07-20
From: Home

To: Home
Miles today: 0.0

Hello, my Darling Little Peanut:Precious one, I think of you each and every day, and I carry you with me everywhere I go. I see you in the tender young faces of the children I encounter. I see you in the emerging beauty of a sunrise, the quiet splendor of a sunset. You live in the soft petals of a flower, the delicate wings of a butterfly. I sense you in the gentle breeze and in the feel of the sun warming my face. You are no longer here with me in my arms, but you are here with me when the birds sing, when the wind whispers, when a brook babbles. You are my sun and my moon. You are, as we all are, born of stardust, and to stardust you have returned; but one day my dust will mingle with yours and we will be together again. Until that day, I will carry you with me in my heart and mind, in my memories and in the deepest part of my being.Little one, you gave your Nana the greatest gift that can ever be: you gave me back my own life. I am grateful to you beyond words, and I make you this vow: I will not squander the gift that is my own life any further. I will relish my time on this earth, and I will use my time, however long that may be, to make this world a better place, even in the smallest of ways. If I can make someone smile, even fleetingly, I will have been successful. If I can lift someone up when they are feeling low, my own life will be richer for it. If I can lend a hand to someone in need, my own spirit will expand accordingly. If I can touch another¢s heart, my own heart will be filled. I will tell the world about you, one person at a time if need be. You may be gone, but you will never, ever be forgotten. You were with us for just a brief while, but your life was poignant and meaningful. You changed me for the better in so many ways, and I thank you, my beloved. You showed me that life is precious, even in the most difficult of times. You taught me the importance of living and loving to the fullest of my abilities. You taught me to seize today, because tomorrow may never come. You taught me that each and every day is a finite gift not to be wasted.Before you came to us, I had honestly forgotten how beautiful life truly is. I had allowed myself to become bogged down by the tedium and hardships of day-to-day life without recognizing the magic in even the most ordinary of moments. I felt overwhelmed by challenges that I now know to have been, in comparison to the loss of you, trivial. I allowed myself to be swallowed up in anguish by circumstances beyond my control. Thanks to you, however, I realize that I can let go and accept the things that I cannot change, and to trust that, no matter what, life can and will go on. I have learned to recognize that beauty surrounds us everywhere, even when life sometimes feels unbearable. We need only look for it. It can be as simple as the perfection of a droplet of water on a dewy leaf, or as complex as the elaborate engineering of a spider¢s web. It can be found, in its most magnificence, in the laughter of a child or the eyes of a loved one. Beauty surrounds us everywhere, if only we can be open to receive it. The loss of you caused me to face a life-altering choice: to give in to grief and let it swallow me up, perhaps even consume and ultimately destroy me; or to overcome my grief and become better and stronger for having lived through it. It wasn¢t easy, but I chose the latter. And I make that choice every morning, when I wake and decide to embrace each new day. I promise you, baby, that because you lost your own life, I intend to live my own more fully for both of us.I pause when I encounter a particularly beautiful vista and I share it with you. I delight in little frogs, because I know that you would have, too. I sing aloud to you the songs I sang to you when you were alive. I talk to you when we are alone. I feel you, baby. You are part of me, just as you are a part of all who knew and loved you, particularly your wonderful Mama and Daddy.Thank you, Aiden, for enriching my life in such a powerful way despite the brevity of your own life. I have learned so much from you. Sleep well, baby. Nana loves you.