Date: 2010-01-24
To: "Significant Others" on the AT
Miles today: 0.0

I was going to call this entry: ¢SEX on the TRAIL?¢ But that would simply be pandering to the tabloid mentality out there in order to sell more entries, and I would NEVER lower myself to that seedy standard of journalism. It would also be MISLEADING, because anyone who knows anything at all about the AT knows that there is no such thing as sex on the trail ¢ but that¢s another story. And I wouldn¢t want to mislead my loyal fans and faithful readers ¢ even those persons who shall remain nameless but are really kind of demanding-like in their insistence that I should have a new entry up each and every day, and before the newspaper boy gets there. You see, the term ¢Significant Other¢ has a whole different meaning within the trail community, and it really has nothing at all to do with what ¢Significant Other¢ means in life OFF the trail. Off the trail, it usually implies a certain degree of, well, intimacy, actually, I guess, sometimes, if you know what I mean. Or, as they said in that newspaper article about Governor Sanford of South Carolina and his Argentine mistress, ¢canoodling.¢ Not so on the trail! Indeed, within the trail community, most of the things that we all take for granted when we¢re at home take on a whole new meaning ¢ a whole new kind of significance ¢ out there in the woods. Especially the longer we¢re out there.   Take FOOD, for example. At home, if you¢re hungry, all you have to do is raid the refrigerator. If you don¢t find what you want, you get in the car and head for McDonalds. Problem solved. On the trail, however, you¢re only going eat what you yourself have carried to wherever you happen to be camped, and that¢s pretty much it. The unwritten rule among through-hikers is that everyone is responsible for themselves in the food department. And you¢ll never hear a through-hiker ask another through-hiker: ¢Are you gonna eat that pickle?¢ because they already KNOW the answer. There are, however, exceptions to every rule. If a hiker is stupid enough or disorganized enough to resupply at the grocery store BEFORE pigging out at the local AYCE buffet, then it¢s entirely possible he will end up at the first shelter out of town with a 25 pound food bag. In that case, he will be inclined to share some of his rations with others, who will welcome the gesture most graciously. Eating food you haven¢t had to carry up and over mountains is sort of like manna from heaven. His act, however, is one of self-preservation, and is not driven by altruism. A second exception to the rule is when another through-hiker, due to circumstances beyond his control, would otherwise go hungry. Last year, for example, there was a couple who had their food bag ravaged by a bear during the night, despite having hung it in a tree. They were going to have to hike out to resupply, and a bunch of us kicked in to make sure they had enough food to make it to the next road crossing. That¢s just common courtesy, however, consistent with the through-hikers¢ code of conduct, which includes looking out for one another. In some cases, however, when you¢re with your ¢family¢ ¢ those folks you¢ve been hiking together with for awhile ¢ food is shared as an integral part of the bonding process.   It¢s what the anthropologists call ¢commensality¢ ¢ the ¢breaking of bread¢ ¢ which is part of the ritualism involved in maintaining the tribe. Those folks are your ¢significant others.¢ (See, for example, the entry of Saturday, April 11, from my ¢09 journal.)      Or take the case of WATER: At home, you just turn on the tap and, voila, clean, clear, abundant water ¢ hot or cold, whenever you want it. On the trail, however, you have to know where to find it, and then you have to actually get to it. While the water sources are listed in the guidebooks and marked on the map, they are not always reliable, and some of them involve a hike down a steep slope for a quarter of a mile or so, followed, naturally, by a climb BACK up that slope carrying several additional pounds of H2O. You can imagine how welcome it is if someone you¢re hiking with offers to go get water for the both of you. That person would also qualify as a ¢significant other¢. Or SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS: At home, you either sleep in your own bed alone, or in a bed with your ¢significant other¢. On the trail, you may find yourself sharing a shelter with twelve other people, all of you sleeping closer together than you¢d normally sleep at home with your significant other. Sometimes it¢s so crowded that everyone has to sleep on their side just to fit the last person in. (Every so often, someone will say ¢shift¢, and everyone simultaneously rolls onto their other side.) Those people, however, may or may not be your significant others. It¢s when you arrive at the shelter tired, cold, wet, and hungry, and you¢d REALLY like to sleep in the shelter instead of setting up your tent in the rain, but the shelter is already ¢full¢, and then you hear a voice from within the shelter say: ¢Hey, no problem! We can always fit one more in when it¢s this cold and rainy out, RIGHT GUYS? And then he starts shifting some of his stuff so you can squeeze in. THAT person is, without a doubt, a ¢significant other¢. The same thing may occur off the trail at some of the hostels, or in hotel rooms where hikers trying to save money may be sleeping ¢wall to wall¢ on the floor. ¢Sleeping together¢ simply takes on a whole new meaning for through-hikers, and the protocols for sharing hotel rooms are not exactly the same as what you might expect OFF the trail.      Or ¢HOOKING UP¢: At home, if I understand this term as it is used by today¢s teenagers, it implies a liaison with another person which is likely to lead to, um, canoodling. On the trail, it involves another hiker who happens to hike at approximately the same speed as you, and is inclined to do a similar number of miles each day, and with whom you share a certain degree of personal compatibility. This person may become your hiking partner, which is a really good thing if you like company. It can be especially desirable when going through some of the more challenging sections of the trail ¢ like the White Mountains of New Hampshire ¢ where the company of another hiker make it both less hazardous and less stressful -- knowing that you don¢t have to face those challenges all alone. That hiking partner is a ¢significant other¢. Or JUST JOKING AROUND:   The problem with humor off the trail is that it¢s not taken seriously enough. I mean, it¢s kind of taken for granted. On the trail, it¢s a necessity. Life on the trail is not easy, and some days, it¢s actually pretty tough. Few things will ease a troubled mind and restore a downtrodden spirit faster than being around other people who have a good sense of humor. That¢s why, for me, one of the absolutely best parts of the trail community is the joking around. Fortunately, there tends to be a lot of that out there! Those with the most outrageous senses of humor are truly ¢significant others¢ for me. (One of those ¢persons who shall remain nameless¢ is like that, but she¢s planning to start her hike so early it¢s unlikely I¢ll have the pleasure of hiking with her.) So anyway, those are some of the examples of what I mean when I speak of my ¢significant others¢ on the trail. I¢m referring simply to the folks who become an intimate part of my experience, my life on the trail, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with ¢canoodling¢. They are my ¢new best friends¢, and they are candidates for becoming ¢best friends forever¢. That¢s how it is out there, and it¢s one of things I like best about the trail. I guess you can see now why I didn¢t want to use some sleazy and misleading tabloid-like headline for this entry, eh? It just wouldn¢t be right. And it wouldn¢t be in keeping with my reputation for integrity and for responsible, high-minded, Pulitzer-Prize-winning type of journalism, which is the type I always aim for. Oh yeah, one other thing. In case you¢re interested, you might want to check out the story I¢m working on for tomorrow¢s entry: ¢Appalachian Trail Through-hiker¢s Love Child with Aliens being raised by Bears in the Shenandoah¢s.¢