Date: 2015-08-26
From: Rainbow Stream Lean-to

To: Abol Bridge Campground
Miles today: 15.0
Weather: broken clouds

Although I saw what must have been fresh moose tracks on the trail today, I did NOT see a moose. So disappointing... MY SOUL WILL BE CRUSHED IF I LEAVE THE TRAIL WITHOUT SETTING MY POOR TIRED EYES ON A SINGLE MAGNIFICENT MOOSE-BEAST.I awoke in the middle of the night to THUNDER and LIGHTNING. It was a bit strange, because it wasn't raining. I have no idea where it came from. But the sound of the rushing stream water and my daytime efforts to stay hydrated resulted in a strong urge to empty my bladder when I awoke. In the thunder and lightning. As I enjoyed the warmth of my sleeping bag and debated getting up to pee, I also wondered if the metal roof of the shelter would attract lightning and fry us all. KIND OF SCARY.I decided to risk it, figuring that the dry storm in the sky was likely a sign of an incoming downpour. I scurried off behind the shelter and then back inside, and fell right back asleep despite my throbbing feet. I have just been so tired lately.And I woke again, a few times during the night, to the sounds of water beating down on the shelter roof. A few imaginary drops of water landed on my sleeping bag, making me panic about leaks and waking up in a puddle.But all was dry when I woke again before my 5:30 alarm. Hooray! The shelter did its job well.Luckily, the rain had just about stopped when I got up, so I got to do most of my morning chores while dry. Until I put my stinky, wet (but slightly cleaner) clothes back on...There was some debate in the shelter as to whether or not people should wear clean, dry socks today. I was not willing to make this gamble. I am SAVING my dry socks. I will head up Katahdin with clean socks and underpants. IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I WILL MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS.I shuffled off over the slippery bridge across the stream in front of the shelter before everyone else. Off I went, to the wet, wet trail. Today's 15 miles were relatively flat. Lots of small ups and downs. Only one slight hill.It started off rough, with slick and slippery roots (I am sick of slipping on roots). My tailbone ached. I tripped and jabbed my poles into the ground to keep myself from falling in the mud, and my tailbone ached some more. It HURT SO MUCH for about an hour, and then the pain began to abate, as it strangely does.And then it started to rain. And rain. And rain a bit more.On the Rainbow Ledges, I managed to get my phone out of airplane mode, but it was so rainy and my hands were so wet that I couldn't operate the touch screen. Sorry I didn't call, mom.By this point, I was soaked. The trail was a river. I got frustrated and just plowed right on through. There is no way to stay dry. NOTHING IS EVER DRY.It seemed like it took forever to hike those 15 miles. But it didn't. I am just tired. So tired.At one point, I just got so sad because I was spending all of my energy navigating my way around rocks and roots and water that I was barely looking up, and barely enjoying the forest around me. There are only two days left now, and I can't even enjoy it because I am so freaking tired and sick of being wet that I just want it to end.I want to go home. At the same time, I really DON'T want to go home. Readjusting will be so hard. Not eating EVERYTHING will be so hard. Not falling into a coma will be SO HARD.There is a sign marking the exit of the Hundred Mile Wilderness. It is the same as the one in Monson, warning that there is nowhere to resupply, that you should carry ten days of food, and that you should not underestimate the difficulty of the terrain.It seemed to come out of nowhere. Suddenly, the Wilderness was behind me. It was over. Another landmark. Weird.As I hiked today, I kept thinking about snacks. I was so hungry during the last three miles that I kept going over, in my head, what options for lunch I might have at the Abol Bridge campground store. I wanted Cheetos and chocolate. I have no idea why.I arrived and there were no Cheetos. I contemplated buying sour cream and onion soup/dip mix to have with potato chips, but the soup mix had expired three years ago... I ended up getting a chicken burger at the attached restaurant and cookies and pita chips to snack on. I really would have liked an apple. Oh well.I also asked, when I arrived, how the pricing for campsites worked. There are seven in our group now (me, three Aussie Legs, Iso, Silent Force, and Mufasa) and we had to decide where to stay for the night. As she was talking, the lady at the desk mentioned CABINS. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE CABINS.How many people could fit in a cabin? How much did a cabin cost? How far were they? How about showers?$25 per person for a bunk in a cabin that could hold six people. Coin-operated showers.Having just walked for six hours in the rain, and being only two days away from the end of this trip, and having been wearing the same dirty, wet socks and clothing for five days, I was totally willing to pay for a cabin and shower.Silent Force arrived and was on board with the cabin idea. We perused the store and ate lunch as we waited for the rest of the trail family to arrive. They took FOREVER. Seriously, they didn't arrive until an hour and a half after I did. They had stopped for lunch at the shelter 3.5 miles before Abol Bridge.They agreed to the cabin idea as well, which was spectacular, because the evening deluge would have swamped us all out of our tents and soaked all of our gear. It poured so hard that the restaurant floor flooded while we had dinner.The cabins are really just prefab sheds with bunks in them. But so worth it... I am so dry. My shoes are drying. My feet aren't pruney. I took a HOT SHOWER WITH SOAP AND SHAVED MY LEGS AND ARMPITS.I suffered a bit of chafe today, but it didn't start to hurt until after I stopped hiking, which was very strange. Then it really, really started to hurt. I liberally applied copious amounts of diaper paste. Hopefully it will help. Luckily tomorrow is only a ten mile day. And it might even be dry! My shoes might even be dry! I studded them with toilet paper to suck out some of the wet.After dinner, we enjoyed ice cream for dessert. I am spectacularly and disgustingly full and will have to run five miles a day for the remainder of my post-trail life to burn off the pounds from all of this disgusting (but amazingly tasty) junk food that I have been eating.Reality still hasn't quite set in. There are only two days left. Fifteen more miles to hike to the summit of Katahdin, then five back down. It is incredibly strange. I still don't know quite how I feel. Worried about my body fat and future diet. Worried more about all the things I need to do when I go home. Excited about going home to warmth and dryness and comfort. Sad to be leaving the mountains and trees behind. Relieved that my internship at Acadia will put me back outside with the trees.I don't know. I feel like a different person, but still so much the same. So many of the same weaknesses (like my weakness for chocolate) persist. At the same time, I feel strong. Yet I fear my return home will make me soft and weak again in no time.But I will make sure that from now on, I will be the person I want to be. It's not that easy. But how else can I live my life without disappointing myself? If I hiked the entire AT, I can be the Danielle Red Panda determined, not-fatty, dedicated, GOOD person that I know it is possible to be.I just need to spend like two weeks napping first. And maybe one day eating carrots and a watermelon to readjust to a not-gross-processed-junk-diet first.Oh, how I long for some watermelon.I am thankful that I avoided the deluge, that I am clean and dry, and that tomorrow will be a short day. I am thankful to be in the company of good people. I am thankful for the sun, which I hope I will soon see, and a promising weather forecast for Summit Day. I am thankful that my body, though exhausted, is not haggard, and will be able to take me up that last, greatest mountain. I am thankful that I have one more day left, however, before I start that last ascent. I am not quite ready yet.