Date: 2006-06-15
To: Prep #32-Reflecting and Perspective
Miles today: 0.0

Do you know those people that never stop to actually reflect or seriously consider the events that have led them to the present point they are at in their lives? I know there are different belief systems and different ways of interpreting life's occurences, but I for one would like to believe that there is purpose behind the things that we experience. Now, whether or not we always understand or comprehend that purpose is an entirely different thing.I still have a conflict w/this though, because I don't like to think that my life and experiences are completely pre-determined, like I am at the whim of some greater beings' powers and choices that have been made for me. I like to think that I have a little control or choice in all of it.On the other hand, I always say and have always believed that all things happen for a reason. So, does this mean that all things were already planned out for me before I was even born, and I'm just living out the plan? Or does this mean that like a complex video game, I am confronted w/choices, and my choice is what determines what is next? Difficult stuff for me to figure out, so here's what brought on the thoughts.As a child, I loved helping my dad work on cars. The opportunities were few and far between, so I was not a kid born w/a wrench in my hand, but the dream of being able to at least understand automobiles never really left my mind. So, after the military, I decided to just do it. I found a school, when to it, and started learning about car repair..and it was not easy for me. I ended up working at a shop, invested a few thousand dollars into my tools, ended up getting hired at a university to co-design/teach an automotive education program, just to leave the industry entirely a few years later. So, all this time, I've been lugging around my tool box, air compressor, tools, and not really putting the bigger things to use. I posted them on ebay last week and sold them last night. I now have additional funds (that were not originally part of my hiking budget) to put into my hiking savings account. So...as I reflect on the major events/adventures I've already experienced, was the purpose of my short automotive career simply to serve as a sort of investment, so that when I got to this point in my life, I'd have a resource to help pay for my hike? Granted, I still put my car knowledge to use, I fix the household vehicles, I help out friends for free, etc., but ultimately, I didn't belong in that field.I ponder these things, because I have always been acutely aware of how life's events link and connect and lead to other experiences and events. I can say that I feel fortunate, because I've had a pretty great life so far. It's fun to wonder what will be next after this chapter....will I meet someone on the trail who needs my skills? Will I figure out what exactly IT is that I want to do? Will I just decide that I'll never be happy unless I can continuously change my career?I just wonder (a lot!) how things would be different had I made different decisions and choices. Would I even be doing this hike, had my partner and I not decided to just take the risk/gamble of moving to a place we'd never lived before? I guess this all goes back to the "meaning of life" conversation. If I figure it out...I'll share it (for a small fee of course...haa haa).