Date: 2010-03-04
To: Someone Watching Over Us
Miles today: 0.0

I think Jason wants to come with me. At least he's dressed for it.Yesterday Jason's teacher told us that on a recent visit to the library he picked out, all on his own, a book on the Appalachian mountains with a chapter in it about hiking the AT. It blew her away. It blows me away. I am never very sure what Jason understands about everyday matters, and felt certain that he had no clue what is coming his way starting this Saturday when I depart for the trail. Jason may be 10 years old, but developmentally he is still a toddler. He is still in that self awareness discovery stage (and is just starting to show hints of the 'terrible twos'). Trish talks to him all the time about my going away for six months, but even though he has heard us use the words "Appalachian Trail" he wouldn't recognize the letters on the cover. So, was this just random chance - the first book he came too, colorful and flashy, or maybe it was open to a picture of a hiker? Or was this his guiding angel directing his hand to help prepare him for my absence. I know that both his teachers and Trish have taken this as a sign to redouble their efforts in discussing with him what I am doing and where I am going and when I will return, even if there very little sign that he understands any of it ... until now. Maybe he does feel it coming. I often just lie with him stroking his hair or his hands and tell him how much I love him and how much I will miss him. I hope he remembers those moments while he is wondering where the heck his Dadddy is and why he isn't around to play with him. I also tell my daughters the same thing, but that's usually in a much rougher, horseplay fashion. I am very close to my daughters. I quit my job as an engineer when my eldest, Savannah, was 8 months old to stay home and take care of her. Then Brianna and Jason came and I continued as a stay-at-home dad for 10 years before returning to work full time. Poor kids, they have had my constant, around the clock, influence since birth. At least Savannah had 8 months to grow a nurturing side. But even though they have now turned into a fire eating, venom spitting, subspecies of humanity - Teenagers - we still get along great when we aren't duking it out. I still pick them up everyday from school and learn about what went on. I know who their friends are, the books they like to read the movies they want to see. They are going to grow so much in the next 6 months and I will miss not knowing those things. I will miss not attending Animazement (an anime convention in Raleigh) with them and I am not even really a super fan of anime. I just love spending fun time with my kids.But I suppose I have spent my whole life pushing them out of the nest, err, I mean preparing them to venture forth. Soon enough they will be off to college, move away, or any other number of things birds do when they fly away. (all but living at home sponging off of mommy and daddy. If either of you girls are reading this, we will start charging rent the day you graduate from high school so start saving money now). So, Savannah, Brianna, know this. I love you both very much and will miss you both every day. Be strong, be responsible, and help your mother run the household until I return. Kisses, hugs, kisses, hugs, kisses, hugs ... stop squirming you can't get away ... kisses, hugs, kisses, hugs, kisses, hugs .... hey come back here ... durn it, they got away. But, bruhahahahahahaha, (evil Dr. Horrible laugh) I will be storing them up for 6 months and unleash them back onto them when I return.