Date: 2004-03-02
To: I love it when a plan comes together
Miles today: 0.0

i am rolling my own cigarettes again. i am drinking miller high life, and trying to drink moderately. i am brown-bagging it. tuck those pennys away, cos its on!i dropped an unholy amount of cash on my plane tickets, since i am, poor me, going to kuai, hawaii, on may 12. booh hoo. me and a couple soul brothers commited a few years back to do a trip every year. but one felt a bit too tied down to really go far from home. luckily he lives in maui. no sweat.i also dropped a few bucks on campmor dot com patching the holes. i figured last year that my sleeping bag was so rank, and since it only cost 100 bucks, that i would throw it away and replace it. so a new one, fresh as a freshly fallen snow, is on its way along with some 2oz led headlamp, a paktowl (as close as i come to luxury item), and a sil nylon stuff sack. couldnt resist. oh and a t-shirt. same situation as the sleeping bag. last summers t shirt poses a serious threat to our enviornment, wherever it may rest.i am underemployed; my hours were cut drasticaly. so i have been running regularly, and getting out for hikes about twice a week. i go for about 3 hours with 20 pounds. i hike in this modest reservation (not like native reservation, just some land we decided we wouldnt destroy. yet. it must be reserved for something. "corporate party of four, your acres are ready, shall i fix you some drinks?" but until then) called blue hills, which has many good rugged trails that take you to the tops of hills from which you are afforded a sweeping view of radio and water towers, on ramps, and general suburban cacaphony. and boston stoicly stands, a small cluster in the distance, meeting my gaze saying: "listen i had no idea it would lead to this." the weather out here is breaking! halelujia! its been in the 50's and sunny and last sunday the people were out in droves. only two weeks ago i was falling on sheets of ice, bundled up, feeling my lungs breathe in that distinct way from the crisp weather. i had only seen one person out there then, this old guy with a leather jacket and some elastic waist stonewashed jeans. he was at the top of big blue. i am still not sure if i was talking to myself, or just immersed in thought, but he gave me a jump. we didnt make much eye contact as we approached, nothing premature, and at just the right moment we exchanged comfortable and comforting smiles. he simply said: "beautiful winter day, isnt it?." i replied: "indeed it is, indeed it is."only a rugged few think that way, but the multitudes were out on sunday, dogs and kids, husbands and wives, seniors, the whole kit and kaboodle. it was envigorating to an extent, and let me clarify that these are fairly rugged climbs of at least a mile that these folks were doing. it wasnt some deplorable "scenic breakdown lane." but as i got my legs underneath me, and i was feeling terrific, i started thinking that hiking is a very solitary, alone, pastime. indeed for me sometimes i feel as if i am drawn to it because i want to pound my feet incessantly into the earth, to feel my lungs heave, to force affirmation of life, to keep my loner mind over stimulated. when i hike i am sort of compulsively seeking the best in life, but also pounding my demons, and letting my mind off the chain to watch it run. its not an indoor pet. and honestly, i started feeling resentment to all these freekin couples. the romantic hike. oh lord, give me a break. it looked like all these bad episodes of blind date up there, these couples giggling and wearing thier new boots. ugh. i was thinking to myself, they dont get it, thats not at all what this is for, they are missing the point. ok, so im being tough to understand. put it this way. if i was in love, i would be on a beach drinking margaritas, not hiking. so i was bitter. anyway i wouldnt even have brought this strange tangent of thought up were it not for one instance. this irrational train of thought had pretty much derailed, and ended in my snickering to myself and then norah jones' "sunrise" got inexplicably stuck in my head and kept me occupied for a solid hour. of course i only know three words. but shes pretty..... and then as i finish the last big climb - thighs feeling it, lungs active, downshifting for the downhill to the car, acclimating for re-entry - i see these kids jumping around, yelling: "your gonna be my step sister!" etc... and i see this guy with a small open box in his hand and a woman gasping. "so are you gonna marry him or what!" the kid screams.oh brother. seems like i need at least 500 great southern miles to pound this out. the ticket is purchased for april first. and as a little affirmation today i recieved an official rejection letter from the (highly competitive) masters program i had officialy decided against when i bought the ticket. its coming together.see you on the trail.