Date: 2019-06-22
From: Glasgow/Lynchburg 

To: Lake house 
Miles today: 0.0

Salamander and I woke up and had to make our decision about what we were doing for the day. Both of us really wanted to go to the lake, but we were also feeling so much pressure to get a move on and hike. We decided on a big decision, and to my readers, if you disapprove of this decision, I don¢t want your input. I¢ve thought long and hard about this and struggled with it. I do not want or need any more criticism about how I¢m hiking my hike. I¢m so sick of it. Everyone has an opinion and they are entitled to it. But for my sake, please keep it to yourself. This is my journey and my decision. I did not come this far to be torn down. Nothing is ever good enough these days. It¢s absurd. I¢ve hiked almost 800 miles. That is a huge accomplishment. It¢s good enough. I am clearly susceptible to criticism, as I¢m a pretty sensitive person. And most people have told me that in my life as if it¢s a bad thing. So it¢s a bad thing to have feelings? It¢s a bad thing to care? I have tried so hard to shake things off and I¢m getting much better at it. I know the world will throw much more criticism at me. I know people will continue to judge me. I know people will still put me down and tell me I¢m not good enough. I know it doesn¢t get any easier. But I have sustained enough criticism in my life to think I was not worthy of being here, and I¢m DONE. I am living my life the way I want to live it. I am hiking my hike the way I want to hike. I am HAPPY. Do not take away my happiness. Please allow me this time to actually enjoy who I am and what I¢m doing. Going back to elementary school, if you don¢t have anything nice to say, don¢t say it! I wish adults would somehow remember that phrase they try to teach kids. Hey kids, be nice when you¢re young, but when you¢re older you can be a huge ass hole! Lol. Aren¢t all kid lessons somehow adult lessons too? Can¢t we all learn a bit from each other? No, I don¢t want to just bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and have everyone be happy. We¢re all bound to have painful times and feelings, and we¢re bound to hate each other and envy each other and struggle. I am guilty of judgement and jealousy and anger and hate and all of those horrible things I wish I didn¢t do. We¢re all human, we all do it. But please, stay out of my hike if you don¢t agree with how I¢m doing it. I need the mental and emotional space to get through this, and as if my mind and emotions were not challenged enough by a 2,192-mile hike, your mean opinions just make everything worse. Salamander and I have decided to skip a section and come back to it after we reach Katahdin. This is actually a very common decision this year, as many are feeling the pressure of getting there before it closes. And many are realizing that this trail doesn¢t have to be done in a linear way. The ATC will recognize you as a thru-hiker if you complete the entire trail within a year of starting. People go north, south, and flip-flop this trail. There are many ways to do it. I was putting myself in a box and convincing myself there was only one way or the highway. I¢m very stubborn, in case you didn¢t know. Lol. But putting myself in this box limited me and hurt me. I was so convinced I had to do it a certain way that I was just miserable. Did I come out here to be miserable? Hell no. Did I save my money, buy all of this gear, and take 6 months off of work to be miserable? No. I know the real demon I¢m fighting here is myself. I don¢t want to skip, but I also want to make it to Katahdin. I can¢t have both if I continue to hike the way I want to hike; there just isn¢t enough time. But it¢s a bigger battle when I have strong opinions from other thru-hikers, day hikers, non-hikers, random blog readers, etc. so again, now that you know my decision, please GTFO if you don¢t agree. I¢m already having a hard enough time with this. I feel like it¢s eating me away inside. Salamander and I seemed to be struggling mutually, but we both had considered doing this and now we were just following through. We knew we¢d have an amazing time at the lake and couldn¢t wait to do that. It¢s an experience that doesn¢t come often and for thru-hikers, it¢s a real treat to spend some time off trail like that. We told Nancy our plans. She and Will were very supportive. We all went to the Farmer¢s market for breakfast and I got a bagel and a fresh donut, so yummy! And I got some carrots as well. I love carrots. Definitely a fave veggie. Cooked or uncooked. Haha. Salamander bought peaches, and Nancy got some meat, watermelon, and corn. I love corn too! Carrots and corn, love them both so much! We packed up our stuff and drove to the lake! It was a beautiful day and a scenic drive to the lake. We stopped at a gas station and Salamander and I picked up some alcohol. She¢s goofy and fun and wanted to ¢ice¢ people with Smirnoff Ices. I actually think that¢s a really fun game. Some stuff in college I could go without doing, like beer pong or other messy drinking games, although I had fun doing them in college. But icing people is just funny. Watching their reaction is the best part! I didn¢t really know that Will¢s family house would be the place for this lol, but I bought the ices anyway. I¢ll admit, I actually like the flavor of them! I love my sweets! I also got hard cider Ros©. That stuff is gooodddd. I love wine, but hard cider is good too! I¢ve had a lot more of that and beer on trail. I always thought it was an acquired taste and I definitely like it more as I get older. We kept driving and arrived at the lake! It was a beautiful home on the water, with a huge dock and a spacious living room area to hang out in. It was awesome! We put our packs in the basement, where we were sleeping on bunk beds! We got in our sports bras and shorts and went down to the dock to swim! We blew up an inflatable paddle board and brought that down. Salamander and I tried to get on it together, but I am a total chicken, so that wasn¢t working. I was so scared. Again with that fear factor and being afraid of getting hurt or falling off, etc. I¢ve been on paddle boards before, but once I stayed on my knees for an hour because I was so scared to stand up and my knees were not happy about it. I need to trust myself a bit more though. I went out with my friend last summer and even took photos for him while standing on the paddle board. But somehow I was scared this time. And Salamander can be a bit playful, so I was worried she might tip it! I sat on the dock and unfortunately ripped a small hole in my boxers! Dang! I actually got a splinter in my foot too from walking around on the dock, so I hopped upstairs to get a needle to take it out, which worked! I¢ve never taken a splinter out, but hey here we go! I headed back down, with shoes, and sat on the chairs, looking out at Salamander and our Brazilian friends, who were also trying out the paddle board and a small kayak. Salamander convinced me to jump in, I was again being a chicken. I jumped in and it was very refreshing! I got back out and dried off for a bit, blogging somewhat and just hanging out. It was the perfect relaxation I needed. At one point, Gabriel¢s mom fell in and everyone rushed to make sure she was okay. That¢s the fastest I¢ve ever seen someone pull out a kayak and paddle! But she was fine and we all relaxed for a bit. We went back up to have dinner. Will and his dad tore down the shed outside, as they¢re preparing to build an addition to the house to be more accessible for family members. We all helped move the wood and such into his truck. Will¢s dad is awesome. He¢s so funny. I was constantly entertained all day. He just throws out these hilarious jokes or one-liners and it¢s so great. I felt like I could really be at home with him and was just cracking up. That¢s the best kind of company, I tell ya! For dinner, we had corn, brats, and veggies. It was delicious! A wonderful summer meal by the lake, which is what I had been truly missing. I had some of my ices and my ciders, but we didn¢t ice anyone. Although everyone was so chill and awesome here, we totally could¢ve. A woman named Sue joined us for dinner and watching her interactions with Will¢s dad was so great. They gave each other shit and had been friends for so long and I loved seeing that closeness and humor. We played Mexican Train. I learned this game with my ex¢s fam and I enjoy it so much. Will kept trying to cheat and make trains everywhere and I again was just cracking up. And then we just ended up changing to dominos because the train was going two ways and it was definitely not right, but no one could remember the rules and we were all just having so much fun. And Will¢s dad had some ice cream, and it was the best flavors!! He had chocolate and mint chocolate chip. A man after my own heart! No one ever buys those flavors! It¢s always vanilla or some fruity thing. I was so happy and ate a ton. And we had a peach dessert as well, that was delicious. I¢m normally not a huge peach fan, but I thought it was wonderful. I had the best day today, and was surrounded by such wonderful company. I have not laughed so hard all trail. I need Will¢s dad to come along and crack jokes the whole time, he¢s so awesome. I am so happy with my decision and I am thankful to this wonderful family and Salamander for taking me in for the night and allowing me to make such sweet memories and laugh my heart out. Little Debbie