Date: 2008-11-01
To: Mine for all of time!
Miles today: 0.0

Though only two weeks have passed since being on the AT and hiking Katahdin it seems already like a lifetime ago. I find myself often closing my eyes and replaying moments from the trail, amazed at the details I can recall--not just the physical elements of time and place but also my emotional state. So often it seems like that was joy at being alive and a feeling of richness for allowing myself this most unique experience. Of course if you happened to meet and talk with me mid-hike, you may not have gotten this impression as I admittedly was often sad and lonely, overwhelmed with the daily routine that never seemed to change and the sheer difficulty of the trail. I remember back to the times when I was hiking alone and someone would stop and talk and ask me if I was having fun. Fun? I would think, what the heck could possibly be fun about hiking day in and day out for months on end. The middle section of my hike, when I was alone, was the most challenging thing I have ever taken on in my entire life.I was often forced to step outside of my "comfort zone" , mostly in the details of resupplying--getting to and from towns, doing everything there all by myself. I got through it by thinking about all the people rooting for me and picturing myself standing on Katahdin, knowing I would have earned the ultimate thrill of victory and accomplishment that is only possible with hard work and will power. The last 6 weeks of my hike are the most memorable and the ones I most often replay in my head. What a joy it was to share the journey with someone! The saying "there is no beauty so great as beauty shared" is right on and accurately sums up my thoughts. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to see just how different having company makes the experience. Meeting Lead Dog and having the pleasure of hiking with him for 6 weeks was a priceless gift that I tried not to take for granted and which I could not have had if not for the support of my important people in our lives. Many extraordinary people offered essential support from afar. I also feel sorry for those people like my brother who rejected the opportunity at companionship in favor of traveling faster and in traveling faster, missed chances to lollygag, to feel a sense of wonder, to revel in the moments. How their experiences must differ from mine! By far the richest rewards during my hike came from lollygagging on the trail and from time spent with people; I was continually inspired by the kindness of strangers. How wonderful when someone offered help or support just because, not expecting anything at all in return. A shower, food, water, a ride, precious time and hopeful words were some of the things offered by what hikers called "Trail Angels." What a blessing! I was also inspired by the sense of community on the trail. How amazing that all of these people from all over the country (and world), with all kinds of backgrounds have the same goal hiking the entire Appalachian Trail from start to finish. One's profession or place in life was not important and we were all just travelers on the same difficult stretch of trail, united even if we never met or spoke just by the fact that we were there and we were trying our very best to hike the whole thing and earn the honor of calling ourselves thru-hikers of the AT. What pleasure I found in talking with them, in hearing their stories and learning details of their lives, even if our conversation was only 5 minutes.Hiking the entire Appalachian Trail is a goal most in our society will not understand. They may shake their heads in amazement and say things like "That's crazy!" or "How amazing!" but it's likely they don't understand the desire or the strength of body and will to make such a dream come true. But it won't lessen the achievement or mar the memory. Being called a thru-hiker is something no one can ever take away from me and something I will treasure as long as I live. I think spending five months of my life hiking and moving towards a single goal has made me more reflective on my life and the direction I want it to go. It is easy for me to make a list of things I do not want to do, such as settling for a job that I don't love and that requires me to be inside more than outside. Being outside for 5 months, though challenging at times, was a joy! I loved waking with the sun and watching the seasonal changes, loved being a part of the natural world, experiencing a sense of wonder for the beauty around me, being awed and inspired. I do not want to find myself again at a job that simply pays the bills. I want to love going to work, want to wake up in the morning excited about the day ahead, glad to be part of something I consider worthwhile and meaningful. Sharing nature OUTSIDE with others is what I want to do, I just need to go about figuring out the details of that so I can actually earn a living that way.Walking the trail has also changed me in that I see the power I have if I believe in myself. So many times, especially in the middle section after my brother had left me, I thought about quitting, about how hard it was to continue walking and forcing my body to do something my heart was not really invested in. And yet I made myself go on, I kept walking and moving towards my goal in spite of great hardship and emotional unrest. And in doing so I overcame the challenges and ultimately, felt the victory of success that had taken 5 long months to achieve. What power this is! Knowing I CAN achieve my goal through determination and perservarance. As I now try to sort out my life and choose my path I have even more reason than ever to remember the Trail and all it taught me. A smart person (as I am!) will take what s/he learned when walking everyday and apply it to challenges in this crazy thing we call L-I-F-E. I am hoping I can continue to know success (which I define as being happy with who you are and what you do, having a feeling of contentment about life and using one's talents to make a living) as I struggle to define and discover this new phase of my life after the AT. As I did many times on the Trail, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone in hopes of a reward that I have to believe is down the road a bit. So much easier said than done!!!To all of those I met and hiked with--I am honored to be in the same club as you. Though our meeting may have been brief, we will forever be untied in our achievement of hiking the entire Appalachian Trail, from one end to the other! What an amazing accomplishment! May you feel as fortunate as I do for making this choice and seeing it to completion... Here's to more success in future endeavors!!!! To those I've never met but have followed my journey and who maybe have hopes of hiking the entire AT someday. I can tell you two things, both that I read somewhere sometime in my past:1. Seize the moment! You will regret more the things you didn't do than the things you did. No one ever says on their death bed, "Gee, I wish I'd spent more time at the office." and2. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday... See, there is no Someday. Good luck to you and know that you are never alone--you are in the company of all those who have struggled before you and have walked away victorious. visit me at www.natureformysoul.com