Date: 2008-03-03
To: Alls I Know Is...
Miles today: 0.0

   All I know right now is that I wouldn't want to spend the night in the Atlanta airport, but it looks like my buddy will. She called me from a pay phone before my family and I went to dinner(the steakhouse was SO good!) and told me that she couldn't meet me tomorrow morning like we had planned. Her flight from Salt Lake was cancelled because of a hurricane in Texas. She is spending the night in the ATL airport and I can understand why she would call us to see if we were staying in Atlanta so we could pick her up. We aren't, we're 200 miles away but if that figure were in half we could have gone to pick her up. Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that it sucks that her flight was camcelled and that she has to wait for the hostel bus to pick her up at 3 tomorrow. I can't even imagine what she's going through right now.    At the same time it sucks for me. I am so sick of sitting in our Suburban I am tempted to kiss the floor of the rest areas we frequently stop at and now I have one moreday to dink around in it(not that I am upset about that whatever). I have been sitting so long in jeans that my bum is chapped and that was probably a bit too much information. All I was trying to do was reinforce in your mind how long this car ride actually is. The drive time with my parents has been a blast and I knew it would be but I didn't realize how long 20 hours in a car is, or how exhausting. Although I sleep in the car for long stretches, after we get to the motel and eat dinner I am so tired I just sway on my feet. The inactivity is wearing on me and I am at the stage where I will be ravenous but can't muster an interest ineating. It happens all the time when we go for long drives. One day on the trail will change that, I am sure.    Speaking of the trail I found some really great lyrics that, until now, were just lyrics. Today they have meaning and I would like to share them with you.Standing on the borderLooking out into the great unknownI can feel my heart beating faster as I step out on my ownThere's new horizon and the promise of favorable windI'm heading out tonight, traveling lightI'm gonna start all over againGonna climb the mountain And look the eagle in the eyeI won't let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I can flyHow could I have ever believedThat love had to be so blindWhen freedom was waiting, down at the stationAll I had to do was make up my mindWell, I have walked through the fireAnd crawled on my knees through the valley of theshadow of doubtThen the truth came shining like a light on me andnow I can see my way outAnd buy a one way ticket on a west bound trainSee how far I can go (Because I can)I'm gonna go out dancing in the pouring rainAnd talk to someone I don't know (Because I can)I will face the world around meKnowing that I'm strong enough to let you goAnd I will fall in love againBecause I can --Leann Rimes    I realize that it isn't exactly talking about the trail but unlike some other songs that have struck me lately, this one has positive and powerful lyrics. The other song I shared with you was a bit more uncertain, this one is empowering. I am deiciding to take this as a sign to stop questioning myself and my abilites. This trip is going to happen and come hell orhigh water I will be out there for 30 consecutive days.       "Gonna climb the mountain      And look the eagle in the eye      I won't let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I can fly."Typically I am a self-confident and enthusiastic person but this trip has skewed that self-perception a bit. For the first time in my life I am doing something I am not positive I can do. I realize, and this may be cliche, that confidence is easy to have when you are surrounded by things that are familiar to you. Maybe the true test of your own power is to do something like this; set out on something you have never done or practiced before and ask yourself to generate the power you needs to acclimate itself to experiences previously foreign to you. Confidence is easy to have so long as you don't test yourself beyond what you are comfortable with. The true test of inner fortitude is to put a mountain in your path (figureative to some, literal to me) and climb it. Only then can you know the depth of your own will and enthusiasm.    This trip is the beginning of a new Sarah and my journey begins on Springer MTN. Until this song, I never realized how much I was questioning myeslf and my own abilities. It only makes me more determined to finish my thirty days (and beyond?) This walk will test me, am I ready for it?