Date: 2009-09-04
From: Katahdin Stream Campground

To: Katahdin Mountain - Baxter Peak
Miles today: 5.2
Weather: broken clouds

(I want to thank all of you who have followed my journey. While this will not be my final entry, it is a very encompassing one. I have gone back to July 26th, when I left Terri in Vermont, and added memories from all those days forward. They are preceded by **** and may contain some redundancies. My plans are to return to the beginning and add what I retain, so I can call on these notes in the future. Return from time to time if you wish, and I will always add a new last page if there is anything extra about. If any of you have gotten some entertainment out of this, it is all that I could hope for. I wish all of you the best, and may yours go with you....topofgothics)Summit day.      When we started this journey 168 days ago, two songs by the rock band Tesla became the adventure¢s theme songs and we listened to them often on our long trip as we meandered our way south. The first was ¢Heaven¢s Trail (No Way Out)¢ with an attitude spouting lines such as: ¢you know I¢m on a slick trip, I¢m always ready to kick ass, up on the stage I¢m in a rage, I¢m having the time of my life, yes indeed, what a sweet, sweet life it is¢, or ¢there¢s no way out of this living hell, no way out, no way out, unless you walk heaven¢s trail¢, and the line that came to symbolize the first three months, ¢and now it¢s starting to rain on my parade¢. The other song reflected the other end of the spectrum. In their masterpiece ¢Paradise¢ the singer laments his time away from the woman he loves. Forced (well, not exactly forced, it was his decision) to leave her behind for a time, he pleads to her ¢darlin¢, dry your eyes, I can¢t stand to see you cry, now just turn and walk away, don¢t look back when I say goodbye paradise¢. Asking for understanding and forgiveness he assures her ¢and all the while that I¢m away, don¢t let our love fade away, don¢t you fade away, now as sure as the sun is gonna shine the day will come, now I¢m waiting for the day, there¢ll be no more sayin¢ goodbye paradise¢.         Why did I undertake this journey? That¢s hard to say. I have always had a love for the outdoors. Many miles were already under my feet, and I¢ve climbed more mountains that most. I knew damn well that I could carry a full pack for thousands of miles up countless feet unless a physical ailment or injury brought me down. Hiking the Appalachian Trail was not even one of those ¢once in a lifetime¢ things that I¢ve always dreamed of doing. I had recently entered a dream relationship with a brilliant, beautiful woman who is one of the most caring individuals that I have ever met. And she loves me to boot (go figure, I never ask why, and I don¢t really want to know anyway. I just accept that she does). We had been friends for five years before we became a couple, with wonderful moments and times filled with massive tension. For months on end we may not have even communicated. But we were always there, and we knew there was something more for the taking if all the planets aligned in the proper manner. Now, still mere months into the real deal, I chose to abandon her for time on end. Truly, I thought that there would be many instances when she visited or I returned home. To be sure, by my recollection we spent at least part of 56 days together either here, there, or in between from March 21st to today. That works out to precisely one third of the days, which equals the time we spent together when she lived three hours down the New York State Taxway, and we spent mostly weekends together anyway. This was different. Like some others out here, I had nothing to ¢run away¢ from. Home is a perfect word, wherever it may be. My dozen or so close friends (a word I take very seriously) love me for who I am, and I have never felt alone or unwanted. If there was a place for us to sit and gather, all was right with the world. I foresaw a time when Terri and I were together always. Since she had no real home, but lucrative employment (which could well change from time to time as she moves up the ladder, her talents being in high demand in many places throughout New York and the country), and I had no real prospects, but a great community base, it was a tough decision, but ultimately the correct one, for me to join her, instead of vice-versa. She even suggested that if I could make just enough to afford a very small place in Western New York I could come and go pretty much as I pleased, keeping my friends company and fulfilling my obligations to the Adirondack Mountain Club, of which I am the Conservation Chair for their Niagara Frontier Chapter. She likes the area, sans the lack of high mountains and a severe pay cut she would have to take to live there. Still she did consider it, if only peripherally, for a time. The core of my thoughts on doing the AT was to have a grand adventure, but to also break some ties that I have had for all my life. Walk form Georgia to Maine, and into my baby¢s arms and life. Kinda silly, huh? So I cashed in my banked hours at work, moved from an apartment I had occupied for nearly a score of years, and drove thousands of miles to walk back to a new reality.It nearly killed our relationship. The one thing I never thought would happen almost did. Why did I not come off trail when I saw this happening? Idunno. Ego is all I can come up with. Once I start something, I hate to fail. Getting beat fair and square is one thing, but quitting? Even if it costs you everything? She understood this. It was tough, but if she did not get that (her ego and my ego can fill any room that we walk into) we would have been done months ago. ¢My sweet paradise, you are the reason why it tears me up inside, and I break down and cry, didn¢t wanna say goodbye paradise¢. Now I was going home. She had spent the last month moving from her tiny apartment into our new somewhat bigger one. She did this by herself, so she rightly felt that she was doing this alone. Even the first nights were spent without me, and Tracy slept in my home before I did. I have a lot of giving back to do. I could have done all this without her, but it would not have been pretty, and the expenses would have been more that they already are. But we are here. 5.2 miles (10.4, you got to make it back down for it to count, an old rule of mine. I would hate to have to start all over again) miles from the finish, and a new beginning. The four of us left at ten to eight. This was a little later than Terri would have liked, but we now had two sluggish hikers amongst us. No big deal. As one would think, I was one of the few thru-hikers who wore my heavy pack and kept all the essentials inside. From Springer to Baxter, carrying all that I would need. Most others, Solo also, slack packed this peak. To each his own, but TMax understood, and that is all that maters. The trail up Katahdin is rugged and takes you over sharp rocks and boulders that can only be scaled by clambering. You are taken along an exposed ledge for over a mile as you slowly inch your way to the top. It is a fitting end to this long journey, coming after almost sixty miles of relatively flat hiking. The four of us stayed together, and even Little Feather, who had not been out all year, did extremely well. A mile from the top we reached Thoreau Spring, a water source on an almost mile long tableland. There was no water to speak of there, and that put a gloomy outlook on a hot lunch and sufficient water for Tmax and Little Feather. The views were outstanding. A better day could not have been hoped for. Clouds filled parts of the skies, but were high enough to not obscure anything. One large sucker was black with moisture, and it looked as though it would drop it at any moment, but that too moved off to the south, leaving us to our own devices. The trail eased as we neared the summit. I was glad there was just the usual throng for a great day, and not the crowd of thirty-some of two days before, or the one expected on 09-09-09. A single other thru-hiker was met atop Baxter Peak. Solo (who was very happy in my extra boots) rushed the new Katahdin summit sign, singing ¢I got you baby¢ and planted a big kiss on its face. He too, was also now on his way home to a woman he has loved for more years than most can count. He is a lucky man with an outlook on life that can only be envied. Rich is he. Rich in ways that most will never know. Madelyn is planning on quarantining him when he gets home, along with weeks of fattening him back up. What a rough life. I bypassed the sign and headed for the summit cairn, much to TMax¢s chagrin. I always have to do things the unconventional way (she is a hippie, I am a non-conformist, there is a large distinction). For well over two hours we enjoyed the moment. She lugged up the bottle of chardonnay that I received as the first place prize at my friend Ken¢s Halloween bash last year. It sported a uniquely painted design, and I thought it would be appropriate. Solo and I all but killed the bottle in celebration. Luckily a day hiker donated his extra water to our cause, and Terri and I were able to enjoy a hot lunch. All was right with the world. Now another journey began. One that will hopefully lead me to amazing places that I will cherish forever, like Terri¢s heart. The hike back down was as tough, if not more difficult than the one up. Solo kept Tracy laughing and as distracted as I have ever done, she has become very fond of him. Finally, just before eight, after enjoying some pretty colors in the evening sky, we arrived back at the car. There was Chance, and I was able to say good luck and goodbye to him. I hope he contacts me so we can go hiking in the Dacks together someday. It was over. Terri would return through Bangor, dropping Solo off at the airport where he would catch the first flight home in the morning. She ended up driving through the night, and when we finally returned to North Adams and her parents house (Tracy left her car there, and we had two family reunions to attend Saturday and Sunday) there was one last bout of tension. She was exhausted, I was tired, and it would not have been fitting if she had not tried to push me away one final time. Not today baby, not ever again. Including walking and driving, I had come over five thousand miles since leaving Buffalo to make it two hundred miles down the thruway. We were going home. ¢I¢m comin¢ home to you tonight, comin¢ home to you tonight, so hold on tight, tonight I¢m on my way back home to paradise¢. Thank you Terri, and I love you.