Date: 2007-05-03
From: Hot Springs, NC

To: 3 mi S of Spring Mountain Shelter
Miles today: 8.0
Weather: overcast clouds

I slept really well the last 2 nights (unusual for being indoors) - got up this morning about 7 am. I wasn't pysched aobut hitting the trail so I did some thinking about why that was. I didn't want to stay another day at the motel, so my only options were to keep on hiking or find another way out of town. On the trail it's pretty uncomfortable physically, but that wasn't why I didn't want to go. I am actually curious to see what will happen physically at this point. I feel like I am at a make it or break it point. My legs and knees are going to get over the hump and into condition or my knees are not going to be able to take it and get worse. I took some Aleve Tuesday night - couldn't really tell if it helped or not. I bought some ibuprofen yesterday to start taking a little at night. During the day I want feedback from my body about how it is doing, so I won't take it then. Anyway, I figured out my main problem is that I'm lonely. This is new for me. Essentially, I have felt lonely my whole life, but it didn't bother me. I think over the weekend with Steve I felt so connected, and cared for, and not lonely, that now being alone feels different. I also have the horrible thought that what if I am living on borrowed time? What if I spend 6 or 8 months away from him and then I get sick? I had been thinking about going to Colorado with Steve and I realized that I really wanted to go, so I thought, "Why not?" Maybe I can hike to Erwin and go to Colorado, too.I showered and went to breakfast. Thumper (Rick) invited me to join him, his wife Vicky, and their daughter Breena (sorry, don't know if I spelled that right). What nice folks! It really helped with my loneliness. I went back to the motel and packed up. Then I went and called Steve about going to Colorado. He is going to see about arrangements. I told him I would be in Erwin next Tuesday night, but tonight I think I may not make it until Wednesday, so I hope I hit some cell coverage to call him. I didn't get on the trail until about 11 am. There was a nice section along the French Broad River and then up and out of the river valley. I could hear thunder in the distance almost the whole time I was hiking. I was hiking quickly, but I took a couple of breaks and I lost some time twice trying to figure out where the trail went. Physically, I felt good - good stamina andmy knees were better than on Sunday after the 2 days off. I met some day hikers I saw last Thursday when I was going down into Davenport Gap. One man told me I was looking good (I love these Southern men!) and one woman was very excited to see me again. ("We know that girl! Her husband was coming to meet her and take her to Gatlinburg!") Finally, the rain hit and it was a downpour. I forgot to put my gaiters on and my boots got wet inside - really dumb. The last time I got rained on my clothing dried pretty fast, but this was a lot more rain and different pants than I had before. I hiked for a ways after it stopped, but decided to call it a night when I reached a campsite around 5 pm. I pitched the tent, hung up my wet clothes on a line and ate supper. I keep hearing thunder in the distance, but so far, so good. I was planning to go a little farther today, but cut back on the daily miles overall, so that is why I may not make it to Erwin on Tuesday.Song of the day : Maybe I'm AmazedOh, and I decided not to worry about completing the whole trail this summer. It was never my intention in the first place. I need to quit pushing the miles, just do what I can do, and I need to enjoy the process. I bought a couple of books at the outfitters (Carl Hiaasen) so I am going to read and go to bed.