Date: 2010-08-05
From: Rutland

To: Rutland
Miles today: 0.0

05 Thursday August ¢ ZERO! Long Trail InnAwoke early with the best of intentions to leave today. Tree, Kumquat, Hot Foot, Stretcher, Hollywood, Yahtzee, and Mala camped across from the Inn. We tell ourselves that the weather might be bad and that¢s all it took. Well, it¢s more about laziness than the weather. Drank some coffee around the Inn and then went to McDonalds with Tree and Hot Foot. I noticed that the dollar menu chicken nuggets are cheaper than ordering them any other way. A 6 piece is more per nugget than the dollar menu. That¢s brilliant! I pointed this out to Tree and Hot Foot while we sat inside the 50¢s inspired McDonalds. Really, no one cared. I got a $5 pepperoni at Little Cesar¢s.For some reason no one in Rutland wanted to pick up three male hikers in the rain. After a struggle, we arrived back at the Inn where everyone is still watching Star Wars. I played with the Etch-A-Sketch again like it was crack. I wasted an obscenely excessive amount of time on those two knobs that day. Read an awesome book of horrible statistics that made me feel great about my life. It was a book of semi-offensive facts like historical records of decapitations. Or eye opening information like the total number of plane crashes. I admit, it sounds boring. The book contained descriptions of poisonous deadly creatures and whether they were the most horrible or not. I know it¢s still boring.Yahtzee wanted to go to the library. I wanted to take some pictures downtown! Perfect! I volunteered to go just for the adventure. I¢m bored sitting around at the Inn. I¢ve no intention of spending money in town, but I feel the urge to explore. Watching that television is the last thing I want to do after having 3 weeks off. They made me get a temporary library card to use the computers. It was such a hassle. I gave up after a few attempts and meandered through the shelves of books. I look at photographic records of Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. The photos just aren¢t as impressive as the real thing! I could see myself living here in Rutland. Maybe one day! Dad and I talk on the payphone outside. The phone was in an abyss of a huge white room with fantastic acoustics and spiral stairs. It was so loud that I had to whisper to keep from making the phone receiver crackle. Dad laughed at me because the phone echoed. I tell him the phone number to the payphone and have him call that number. I do it to preserve the minutes on my phone. Brilliant! That should be a John Tesh ¢Life Advice¢ moment. Dad laughed at me and he calls me back. He calls back after I spell out the pay phone number to him. He had no paper so he wrote it out in the sand. He¢s out in the pasture trying to fix a mangled horse fence. He tells me that Averi goes nuts when he¢s not doing something. She wants him to hurry up and finish. She¢s probably tired of it being hot outside. ¢It¢s not hot in Vermont¢ I tell Dad!I decided to try to find Yahtzee after I couldn¢t get a ride in Rutland back to the Long Trail Inn. I needed to find hitchhiking bait because I wasn¢t getting any love in downtown Rutland. It was harder than anticipated. The sun was shining in my eyes so I was squinting at the cars coming from the direction of the blinding light. My scowl isn¢t helping things. 2 hours and I¢m getting nothing. No love. My beard¢s holding me back! I found Yahtzee after walking all over town. She was trying to hitch when I found her. We got a ride together in less than a minute.We spent the rest of the evening by Mala¢s camper. We ate dinner and talked to the trail maintainers that I saw on Killington¢s yesterday. We watched as an older retired man tried unsuccessfully to back his big camper into a nearby parking space. He abandoned the attempt early and settled for blocking the driveway. He told Tree, Hot Foot, Mala, Stretcher and I that he was blocking the traffic noise for us! Splendid! Thanks! In a series of appearances that included less and less clothing he told us the awesomest life story ever. He¢s a giant fat guy with white hair and a button up shirt. He looks even bigger as he tells us briefly of his past lives. When he stands over us we¢re all sitting on the ground and he looks statue like. More like the Staypuff Marshmallow Man than anything though.¢I worked in South America and hiked from Chile to Argentina on the Amazon River!¢ said the large man with a little poofy white hair left.The guy makes another disappearance and reappearance¢¦¢I worked at Langley, where I was shot 3 times and died twice¢ said the jovial Santa like character.We¢re rolling in the clover laughing when returns to the camper blocking the driveway. He made another disappearance and reappearance¢¦¢Would you guys like some of my especially homemade peach and raisin pie?¢ he asks with silver brillow padded chests hairs and no shirt.Tree, Stretcher, Hot Foot and I awkwardly except and follow him to his camper. The old man tells us another story about being in the rainforest and sleeping on the ground. All the locals were laughing at him in the morning because when he awoke he was covered in slimy banana slugs that stain your skin as they crawl on you. The locals in the rainforest laughed because they all slept in hammocks to prevent creatures from crawling on you in the dark! He¢s even into mining! He named off lots of geological gemstone words as we ate our pies earlier.The old man who died twice presents to us 4 bowls of his peach and raisin pie and 4 forks. It was the sweetest trail magic pie yet! Fantastic! The old man chatted with his briefly from the doorway of his camper. We were standing on the ground outside and eating out bowls of pie. Just as awkwardly as he would walk away and reappear he announced with abruptness, ¢Alright boys, GOODNIGHT¢SLAM, went the cabin door!I like his style!Not much after that entertainment an even weirder event occurred. A lady that reminded me of a meth-head tried to ascertain whether we could help her or not. ¢It smells like burning rubber¢ says the lady who claims to be having car problems. The car smelled fine to me. She then tells Stretcher and I about her strained relationship with her Mom and abusive boyfriend. I was done with the conversation a lot sooner than Stretcher. I discovered early on that she was nuts and she was proving the theory. I told her to apologize to her mother. ¢You only get one of them¢ I say as I walk away. The weird lady spent the evening serenading us with her car radio. She chose ¢Let the Bodies Hit the Floor¢ and ¢Sweet Dreams¢ by Marilyn Manson.I made sure all the valuables were accounted for and got in my tent. I looped the straps of my backpack through my tent pole. If someone tries to run off with it¢¦my whole tent will collapse.