Date: 2015-08-30
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I was INCREDIBLY lucky to have something awesome to look forward to the day after Summit Day. Trail Mentor Alexa's wedding! I am not going to lie, I felt rather sick in that car, driving away from Millinocket, trying to complete my journal entry on my phone. I gave up quickly, thus the delay in the Summit Day post. As pizza fairy Dan drove us past Bangor, I just kept thinking about how FAST we were going, how fast I had been walking for months, and how much I really just wanted to stop moving.The wedding was amazing. Seriously, amazing. I wandered around lost and had a few socially awkward encounters with other guests (I think that being in the woods for so long has just turned me into a total weirdo...) before Kate and her family arrived. Ranger Kate, who I have worked with for two seasons at Acadia (also with Alexa) is part of my Maine family, and the only other person I really knew at the wedding. She and her partner Peg, as well as the rest of their gang, were kind enough to relocate next to me and include me so I wasn't the crazy wild woman meandering about for an hour, waiting for the ceremony to start.And the ceremony and setting were beautiful, the ocean distant in the background. It was simple and tasteful and just suited the couple so well. The best part, apart from seeing my friends so happy, was listening to them read their vows.Here is the thing I love most about Allie and Alexa: they are, in the simplest terms, good people. More than that, they inspire me to be a good person, too.Of course, the word "good" can mean many things. But think down to its deepest, most vital connotations. Their morality and integrity is above and beyond that which I have seen in nearly every other person I have ever met in my entire life.In their wedding vows, Alexa and Allie promised not only to cherish each other, support each other, and love each other. More than that, they promised to foster in each other GOODNESS, and respect for living creatures. They promised to do more than support, but to push each other, to constantly work to be better people.I wish that I could remember more of it, because it was awesome. My brain seems to be in a rather useless state lately, however. And as I sat there, in that chair, I cried for the FIRST time since I climbed that last dang mountain. It was a complicated cry. It was a cry of the end of the journey. It was a cry of missing Jim, because seeing people holding hands STILL reminds me of him. It was a cry of wanting someone to be close to, to share emotion with, as I sat there feeling very alone. Most of all, it was a cry of happiness. Who couldn't be happy watching a perfect wedding?! Plus, it was a cry of hope that someday, maybe, I'll be able to find someone who will push me to be a better person and who I will be able to live with without wanting to strangle them every other day (I NEED MY SPACE).I did not bawl, though I kind of wanted to. Afterwards, Kate gave me an understanding hug and encouraged me to let it all out (I promised that I certainly planned to, once I wasn't surrounded by SO MANY PEOPLE... I don't need witnesses to my unparalleled ability to produce copious amounts of snot).The wedding was also a challenge to my post-trail diet, which I failed miserably. Blueberry pancakes, fruit salad, muffins, bagels, CAKE... so many delicious options. It was bad. Very bad. It's going to take me a long time to reign in my hiker hunger. My body seems to be tuned to my snack schedule of the last five months. 9:00? Need a snack! 11:30? Lunch time! I nearly had a breakdown (okay, I kind of DID have a breakdown) today at 5:30, waiting for my dad to call and let me know it was time to meet for dinner, because my body was on the fritz, wondering where those evening calories were (even though I'd had PLENTY of snacks during the day). I really cannot wait until I am NOT HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. WHEN WILL IT END?So, post-summit day wedding celebrations were wonderful. I think the timing was perfect. I really would have loved for Alexa to be able to climb Katahdin with me, but we may be able to hike it again sometime during the fall. I think it might be better that way. For both of us, it will be a reflection hike.It was also the day of VICTORY DINNER. Finelli's Pizza in Ellsworth is my FAVORITE, which is why we postponed victory pizza dinner until the day after Katahdin. We also had ice cream for dessert. I rolled into bed that night.The next day, we drove home. Spending 8 hours in a car after spending 5 months hiking for 8 hours a day was like slow torture. My legs were stiff and sore. My feet were throbbing. I could not for the life of me fall asleep. Plus, the air conditioning was broken, so in the afternoon I just felt like I was going to melt into a puddle and seep into the carpeting.I admit that at one point I just wanted to open my door, roll across the highway (my new flabby fat stores would surely protect my bones and vital organs from breakage as I tumbled across the tarmac) and run into the woods. I need a lot of alone time to recharge and recover. And it feels like I haven't had any in days. For the first time, I missed the trail. I missed the wilderness. I just wanted to be OUT, and away, and gone, and alone. I just wanted to sit in the quiet and think. Instead, I was buffeted by the wind in the backseat, the sun blazing down upon me, as I tried to find some bit of comfort. It was a very, very long journey home after a very, very long journey to Katahdin. Funny how time works like that.But the moment passed, and I eventually felt better. I settled into that sick monotony of a long vehicle ride, and tried to loosen up.And then, HOME.It is so weird to be home.