Date: 2008-04-23
From: Ash Gap

To: Carver's Gap, TN Rte 143/261
Miles today: 3.0

Going to Merle Fest!!!!!!!So we had to hitch to Wilksboro, NC and be off trail for a few days. Pilot and I flagged down and old mini van off 19E. We could hardly understand the older heavy set man as he explained he was going to Banner Elk, NC which was on the way and a decent start for making it to the Festival. I sat shotgun, Truckin' and Dirty Girl sat in the next to each other a row back and Pilot sat next to an open gas can in the back. As I buckled in I noticed the Bible with the driver's name embossed on the cover as it sat upon the dash. This will be a safe hitch I told myself. "Any yall go to church?" our driver said. "I go to a small one back home." I said"Small chuches is where its et. Where yall from?" he said.The combonation of poor dental hygene, southern mountain dilect, and the AM gospel station fading in and out on the radio as we weave in and around various scenic hills makes it difficult for the guys in the back to hear more than one of every five words he spoke. "My brother and I are from Pennyslvania" Dirty Girl said."Same here" Truckin' said.Pilot in the very back could only smell the gas fumes as they filled the cab. He was out of the conversation circle for the moment."Any Yall saved?" our driver said after about two minutes of some patchy hymnal on the AM station.No answer from the back just more static and hymns as gas filled the entire cab of the minivan."I've been saved 28 years!" our driver exclaimed. "Now I preach the word."I thought to myself, how? I can barley understand this man as I sit beside him now let alone if he were reading old King James English.More static filled radio silence in the car as I imagine a sermon attended by 3 to 6 others of his kin and maybe a snake or two. A smile cracks on the side of my face opposite the driver."Where yuns trying to git?" he said."A blugrass festival in Wilksboro, NC." I said."Bluegrass thats real nice" he said. "I sing in the church choir.""I bet you do," I thought, wondering how many it took to sing in a choir for it to still be called a choir.The smell of gas tickles my nose hairs and the road winds around another mountain. More static in the air and silence from the back."Im goin to sing yuns a song." our driver mumbled."Oh no don't!" I thought, this will be bad.He turns down the static."I got fooooood on the table...........an shoes on my feeeeeeeeet"mumble, mumbleLord is good to me............mumble..............mumble.In the back of my mind an old bloodhound chimed in. I bite my lip to stay composed as I look out the window and try to think about baseball or anything to keep from laughing. Gas fumes make my nose itch. I don't look back at the others."Wow you should sing at Merle Fest." Dirty Girl piped up."I've been practicin for 40 years!" he said"It doesn't show" I thought. My finger tips dig into the car door handle as I chew the nail on my left index finger."Yever heard of the (mumble)......Brothers Band?" our driver asked."Yea I have." said Dirty Girl."I sang with them last night in church" our driver said."Last night?.... was a Tuesday." I thoughtExcitedly now he sings two more slow hymns. Each with the same swinging tempo and similar lyrics to the first. Dirty Girl taps Truckin's leg to get his attention. Like me he is content on staring out the window. Dirty Girl consistantly holds his straight face as he tries to get Truckin' to crack, tappin Truckins leg. Mine is curling and wretching into shapes unimaginable before under the weight of the pending surge of laughter ever so delicately being contained. I dare not look back and make eye contact with the others. It is too painful at this moment. I make a quick glance with periferal vision. Where is Pilot? But I can't risk looking again. I stare intently on my roadmap for an out. Judging from the dead silence in the vehicle they need one too. I imagine that if we start laughing the man may feel the need to drive off the mountain and the gas can in the back would be insurance that the job will be done colorfully. Finally an out."This is our stop!" I burst out sounding like a pubecent teen.The driver turns down the road we need to go on."Im going to drop yall off down at the gas station. I'd take yuns all the way but I have my appointment to keep." he said."We understand but you have been great to us" Dirty Girl said."Thank you very much for the ride." I said.We get out of the vehicle and pull our packs from the back door. I still can not make eye contact with the others. I am relieved but not in the clear yet. Truckin starts to crack."Just hold it." I said. "Wait till he is gone."Our ride pulls out of the gas station and rounds the corner out of site.I skipped the laughter I was contaning and went straight to crying like a baby. Tears stream down my face mostly concealed by my sunglases. We take some time to recoup before we attempt the last hitch for the day into Boone. This was an awsome experience and a perfect start to a great weekend. Our next hitch we thanked for being normal.