Date: 2007-08-25
From: Fahnestock State Park

To: Bear Mountain, NY
Miles today: 20.2
Weather: haze

Wow, another absolute whirlwind of a day. It starts like this ¢¦After writing in my journal last night, I went straight to bed ¢¦ but not to sleep. It was blisteringly hot and humid, busy until 2:30 AM with Friday night campers and oh, SWARMING with mosquitoes. Deet didn't help, moving into the bathroom at midnight did.Yep, it was a slugfest between me and the bugs all night long. I began to pile up the carcasses, over 100 in a nice little pile (should've taken a picture). My grand total of actually sleep was about 4 hours, from 2:30 to 6:30. At dawn I packed my crap and moved out as fast as possible -- and thus the day began.My initial goal of 37 miles already shot full of holes, like Jason Boland, I decided to push hard and see where I ended up. However, consider this, (1) water instead of Gatorade, (2) 100% humidity and record high temperatures, (3) almost no sleep, and (4) no friends for encouragement excepting a brief morning encounter with Treet and Castle, all added up to simply take me apart like a surgeon (with a meat cleaver no less).You know the saying "listen to your body"? Well, that's only half the conversation, you have to talk to your body as well. If your muscles ache and your mind says "come on, you can do it", your body listens. If your mind instead says "I want to go home, find an excuse to quit", your muscles ache harder and nothing you do seems to give you any energy or comfort.To exercise that mind-over-body philosophy, when I reached the bottom (beginning) of Bear Mt, I tried to take off my pack and keep hiking, the idea being that I could go over the mountain, then return on the road to retrieve my gear. Well, I didn't get far. So much for philosophy. The four previously mentioned conditions prevailed.When I reached the point at which I knew I could go no further today (i.e., listen to the body), I pulled out my phone, books and maps, and started planning a hotel stay. Guess what: it's SATURDAY. There's a renaissance festival in one direction and a West Point function in the other. NO rooms anywhere at any price. After searching for quite a while I was almost in tears. I had my credit card out, willing and ready to spend $180 on a room in Newburgh that would require one hell of a taxi. I fell back to a motto of mine that's never let me down; "if you have a decision to make, and you have too many or not enough options, put off the decision for a few minutes and see what happens." Solution -- food -- yeah, go get something to eat and think.So I got my gear together, and decided to not decide yet. Instead I went into town to chow down before spending so much, and see what pops up. Things have a way of working out on the trail.Round 19 (7:00PM): the clouds break, figuratively (kinda).On the road to Fort Montgomery, I took some great pictures of the Hudson Bridge (see photo album) and stopped for a second at the Fort's Visitor Center. They had water. And a bathroom. With a shower!!! All of a sudden, the plan is revealed. Glory.Shower, drop pack and go into town for food and Gatorade, then stealth-shelter at the visitor's center tonight. Slather on so much Deet the bugs feel sorry for you. Drink enough beers so the Deet doesn't hurt. Sleep like a baby (meaning slug it out in at best, 75 degrees and 85% humidity). Then follow all that with an easy 18 mile day tomorrow and sleep in an air-conditioned motel with a real bed tomorrow night (already called, room guaranteed)! Nothing like a good plan.In fact, that's a hell of a plan. Can't be any flaws in a plan like that. We'll just see how that works out (in tomorrow's journal).Ok, maybe it's not the best plan, and yes, tonight is also going to suck like a vacuum. However, I HAVE to find a way to get out of this funk I'm in quick or I'll be off the trail in no-time, becoming one of hundreds of the AT's statistical causalities.My latest big idea is to lower the miles, but not the pace. That way I'll stay in towns, hostels, or motels more often than not during this current heat wave. If the weather improves (and it will eventually) I'll be back in the shelters and under the stars. But in this humidity and bugginess I'm going to need to get better sleep.The downside, of course other than the fact that I won't be pushing 30 mile days, is that it'll be more expensive. Honestly though, I'm doing everything I can, pulling out all the stops, to keep myself hiking right now.I positively 100% do NOT want to go home, but today when I literally reached the point going up Bear Mt where I didn't want to hike AND couldn't hike any more, I turned around and went back. All I could think of to do was go home.Sooooo, note for the future: assuming I break out of this current meltdown and continue to finish the AT, I need to recall how I recover(ed). This will be important, as SOBOs are dropping like flies (mosquitoes?) now, and I'll remember this as the time I came face-to-face with giving up.I hope it turns out to be a happy memory.Thanks for reading.   ~ Obie (Dr Jekyll)PS: stealth-sheltering ¢¦ hell of a plan.