Date: 2007-05-11
From: Port Clinton Hotel

To: Port Clinton Hotel
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: overcast clouds

. Fri, 5/11Port Clinton Hotel front porch, a mere 20 feet from 4 lanes of rushing traffic (Rt. 61)So much occurs in 24 hours. Is it equally true in "real life"? Is it that the details here are so much more obvious because they are new? You don't have predictable systems at work here - you take what you get and make the vbest of it. Sometimes what you get is just a gem of an experience; other times its such a downer. Moxie and Tecumsah obviously just had the latter. They hit the trail this morning mumbling, "I can't believe they charged us to stay here - right next to this hiway and someone was clearly smoking all night under our bed!" (the bar was just below their room, in fact)But I had a good night's sleep for the same $50, as I was at the back of the building. I woke up at 4:30 this morning though and found a tick nibbling my waist! I zipped him into a ziplock bag and wondered how many of his little buddies are taking possession of my blood stream. And there are itchy bug bites and scratches and I can see why some don't choose this kind of "exposure" to the elements!! I awoke again at 6 and had no plans until meeting Hobbit and Scott, the local owner of a new outfitters for breakfast at 8. Then it would be a final good bye to Hobbit (for at least the fifth time I think), just as it was for Moxie and Tecumsah this morning. I'll have to stay put until my feet are better.   Both are swollen to twice normal size and they are aching, aching, aching. Blisters and bruising both. This will be a big fat zero day or two for me.   Its been 195 miles and clearly my boots just aren't working for me. I had time to make Hobbit a "gift". He's done my self image a world of good this past week and I'm just very grateful. What fun for me to go into "crafting mode". I've really missed my studio and gourd work and it was truly exhilerating for me to be drawing on my design and assemblage skills for the next hour. Using only what I had in my pack I fashioned a draw string pouch from the purple nylon mending fabric I'd brought and used the scissors attachment on my knife and a needle and thread as my only tools.   I attached a bird feather and included a note suggesting he might carry his grandson's shell in it. I was most proud of the engineering: I had to figure how to get the drawstrings in place before sewing down the seam, etc. - lots of little details, in fact, for such a small project, but I was delighted that I got it all right and its a quality little pouch. Ahhh, a crafter again: design, color, construction, and symbolism - so good for my head and spirit! Scott Russell and Tammy Remphrey are operating a new outdoors supply store just six miles down the road from the Port Clinton Hotel. Along with their teen aged sons they make every effort to assist hikers, even offering them a free nights lodging in a shelter attached to the store. What nice people to have gotten a chance to know. Basicly I hung out with them all day Sat. as I gave my feet a rest. I replaced some of my equipment, most notably my solid fuel stove with a Jetboil and my foam pad with a Thermarest. I also replaced my twenty degree bag with a forty. All in all my weight probably didn't change much - but the odds of my enjoying the cooking experience and the sleeping experience certainly did! Scott and his son Paul started the store last March. When Paul asked, "But what if this doesn't work?" Scott's answer was, "Well, then you and I will have a lot of cool stuff to play with!" They were sweet to let my use their computer for much of the day and I enjoyed reading Hobbit's trail journal from the beginning when he started in Feb. It was particularly fun to read his impressions of the same things I'd experienced once he got to Maryland.--------I'm hiking the AT because I truly couldn't think of anything else "to do". Suddenly "single" after a long and truly happy marriage until a year and a half ago, I no longer have a home, I have no community, and my business (gourd crafting) is gone. Kids are grown and on their own. So suddenly I had no obligations of any kind. The financial agreement Jim and I worked out gives me enough "income" to support this kind of adventure. Frankly, I have no idea what to do next for work or service or where to do it from. Usha makes me feel welcome as part of her household, but its not easy going from managing so many aspects of home, family, community life to being just a guest in someone else's family and household. I did live with her for the first four months after leaving Jim and my home, and helping "parent" her two little kids was certainly fun and a pleasure. But I felt I was just treading water, not sure which direction would bring me to a solid shoreline. Being 64 adds pressure: time is running out; I need to get on with building my new life. I have no desire to die before I figure out how to live so that I feel emotionally stable again.Its always been a strength of mine to use what resources are available to solve problems. I've learned to take the attitutde, "Well, I might not be able to solve it, but I CAN help solve it". I knew that the AT was "available" and I knew that hiking it would draw on both physical and emotional resources that would build my self confidence. My endurance has always been good, my legs were strong, and I knew my body would condition itself to the backpack. As for my "bad knees" (arthritis), I knew the trekking poles would be a godsend and make the hike do-able. The need to prepare myself for something I'd never done before (backpacking) was in itself a blessing: making decisions helped alliviate my depressed state. Dare I say spending money (shopping!) on quality equipment also felt good. Just assembling the gear felt like I was doing something positive for myself.I actually didn't DECIDE to do the AT until a few weeks before I left. Until then I was just "preparing to do the AT in case I wanted to". But with all that investment in the equipment I think the frugal part of me just couldn't imagine NOT using what I'd spent big bucks for and one day I just wanted to get hiking. I set a date. The day came and I just put my pack on my back, said goodbye to Usha and the kids and walked out the apartment door. Thus started the "first day of the rest of my life, the life of single person Penny Vye". I knew I'd made a good decision.Will I hike the whole 2000 miles? Will I find the personal answers I seek? There's no reason to believe I will or I won't, to either question. But I'm totally sure I'll make progress. As with so much in life, goals are approached one step at a time. Hiking with an open mind, a willing heart, and a spirit of adventure would surely reveal some of the understanding I so desperately want.-------Port Clinton Hotel front porch, 12:30My clothes are laundered, I'm back in hiking shorts and camp shirt, my pack is loaded up with new items and food for five days. I'm wearing my new duct tape sandals, having sent my boots back to Usha's apartment. I'm waiting for the new Thermarest pad that Scott will bring by and then I'm off, trying to get to the next shelter five miles away. The blister on the sole of my foot will protest, but I'm antsy to keep going. While in the laundry room the chambermaid came in to do sheets, only to find that I was tying up the washing machine for the moment.   I'd seen her off duty last night about ten pm. as she went to bed in one of the other hotel rooms.   She's a cook here as well. "Do you work full time here?" I asked her."Trying to. I just got divorced after 18 years and need to get back on my feet.""Me too," I said."My daughter was murdered four years ago and I kind of went off the deep end. Wasn't his daughter so he wasn't very patient. But whatever happened to "for better and for worse"?" she asked rhetorically.   With a harried look in her eye she explained she'd come back later to do the sheets and zipped on back through the door. About the same age as me, I thought of the difference in how we were both going about trying to get back on our feet. Clearly she didn't have the economic resources to go walking indefinitely to try to find the answer to "whatever happened to "for better or for worse?" It made me feel very privileged to have this opportunity rather than to be cleaning hotel bathrooms and I reminded myself not to turn it into a sulking expedition.