Date: 2009-11-05
To: Open to Experience
Miles today: 0.0

Two days ago, I made an important (though it may seem trivial to some) decision that I have yet to share with anyone. Many of you may have read the following that used to reside in my "About Trailname" section:"First of all, I know that many people believe a trail name is not a trail name if it is not given by another hiker. I, however, think that when the goal of hiking solo is to hike my own hike, it's downright silly to let someone else give me my name. Granted, some of this prejudice may come from the fact that the only nicknames I have ever been given were cruel ones in grade school. That said, I'm open to another name if a better one comes up while I'm hiking, but on some internal levels, I'll always be Keona! So, here's the story: "Keona is the name of a unit of cabins at Camp Toccoa, a camp in the North Georgia foothills that holds my heart and is greatly responsible for the woman I have become. Keona is the one unit set far apart from main camp, home to campers doing speciality camps such as adventure, climbing, or backpacking camp. When I first moved from a regular unit in main camp, up to Keona "high on the hill," that was the first time at camp that I felt like I was home. I knew who I was and that I was finally in the right place. I didn't fit in with the Yoki girls (another unit), doing their hair and make-up and talking about boys. In Keona, though, I found my kin- the climbers, stinky hikers, and adventurers. This realization was in large part, the beginning of the rest of my life. It is this same sense of self that takes me, Erin - Keona, out into the woods. "After the name "Keona" popped into my head, and I had already decided that was the right one, I looked up the word's meaning. Keona, as it turns out, is a Hawaiian name meaning "God's Gracious Gift." This is rather ironic considering that I have few religious beliefs. Regardless of whether it's from God, Allah, or simply evolution and nature, however, I definitely consider life an amazing, priceless gift and aim to treasure it every single day."As I was thinking about this the other day, I finally was able to fully own up to a truth that I had just begun to realize recently- I historically HATE nicknames, because in my childhood, the only ones I ever received were cruel. I thought and thought, mulling this over, and I soon remembered the name that adorns the back of my improv troupe jersey. The name is not important, but the fact that the very thought of it filled me with joy and good memories, matters a great deal. I realized that dropping my prejudice against nicknames will allow me in one more way, however small, to open myself fully to experience and to relinquish one more bit of my tendency to try to control everything. Although I was only on the AT in 2006 for a few short weeks, it was long enough for me to learn that out there, I simply cannot control everything, and will enjoy myself more and truly live the experience more if I can give myself over to that. To many of you, a trailname may seem a small part of that, but to me it is symbolic of a great deal more. So, as of this moment, I give myself over to all of the happenings of next year, in hopes that I may live in each moment and experience all that my thru-hike has to offer me. And yes, I also give myself over to whatever name will come out of the first few weeks of my hike. Postscript, March 10, 2011: I am so glad that I made the decision on this that I did. It may sound small, but your trailname will be a big part of your identity as a hiker. I love my name and how it came about, and it has become a big part of me. That said, I am not in the camp that says you have to just take whatever you're given. A trailname is very personal; it's yours, and it will be yours throughout your hike. My advice is this: let others name you, but make it clear that the name is only yours if you accept it. Don't let idiots (yes, there are some out there) bully you into taking on a name that you hate. It is your hike, after all.