Date: 2015-08-13
From: Sabbath Day Pond Lean-to

To: Redington Stream Campsite
Miles today: 17.4

Here comes Panda Pudgy Tail,Slogging down the Pudding Trail,Slippery slidey to KatahdinOn her way.Get it?! Like Peter Cottontail! I made that up today to keep myself from imploding in a mud-inspired rage (I'm only a little crazy, I promise).Just imagine, a girl (fine, YOUNG woman) with a huge Gertrude strapped her back, dangling from a free branch as she attempts to aim for a root five feet away. She plants her pole, and goes for it, leaping into the air!Aaaaaand she misses. SPLAT! Mud rockets up around her as her foot sinks six inches into the trail. She curses and hops away, but can't escape fast enough. That boot is soaked.Both of my boots ended up engulfed in the pudding today. So did my camp shoes. I have a feeling that the rest of Maine will be like this...I am tired. I am so tired. I am tired of being slow. I am tired of mud. I am tired of mountains. I am tired of my growing bulk. I am just plain tired.I can't seem to move like I used to. I eat ten thousand calories a day and continue to gain weight. I have been sleeping well and taking lots of rest days.I just don't know what my problem is. I am in a funk. Is it because the end is near? Is it because my body has decided it hates the abuse I have been putting it through and has had enough?Hiking is just hard. I love the beautiful ponds I pass. I want to float about on their surface all day and daydream. The views from the tops of those mountains are as breathtaking as ever. The rippling mountains around me make me wonder, "Which way is Katahdin? When will I be able to see it?"I know that I am almost at the end. I know I have to make it to Katahdin even if I have to gain ten more pounds in the process.Okay, I know I don't HAVE to do anything. But I will. I can't NOT finish this journey.But some days, I just want to go home, lose fifteen pounds, drive my car to the store to buy salad, and sit on the couch to watch TV with my mom.The light and time have been messing with me lately. Noon today felt like 3:00. I think I ate three lunches. I feel like I have hiked a dozen miles when in reality, it's only been five.I hate putting wet socks on my dry morning feet. I have been lucky lately and haven't had many feet problems... until today. Wet feet means raw heels. Tomorrow morning, duct tape will be applied before the hike resumes. I have it all ready so I won't forget.The morning was slow and muddy. I aimed to get to this campsite, as the previous shelter would have meant a short day, and the next one would have meant too many mountains. Also I am really slow.There were several gorgeous ponds to admire, including Eddy Pond, which made me think of Carol and Eddie, which made me miss my comfortable cotton pizza shirt, which made me want pizza.After the first pond, I started seeing MOOSE TRACKS! Real ones! Not the ice cream I ate yesterday! I was dismayed to notice that they were facing the wrong direction... no moose for me today.Sometimes I also crave chicken nuggets, though I don't think I've had any since I started the trail. One time last week, I wanted cottage cheese.All I eat is CLIF bars and carbs. And trail mix. I miss real food. I miss M&Ms. On, next mail drop, I fantasize about you....I passed a dirt road after the highway into Rangely, and met D-do having a smoke break. He was heading for the first shelter, which cemented my plan to continue past it. He is a nice enough guy, but an oddball and definitely a talker. I am lonely lately without my friends. But not that lonely.It seems like I haven't seen as many people lately. I see a few during the day... Day hikers and southbound hikers. But the nights are sparse. It's weird. Maybe I have hit a nobo-hikerless bubble. Maybe everyone is in town.I began climbing the Saddlebacks today after a long morning of roots and rocks and pudding. They made me mad. I slugged up at a sloth's pace. When I saw The Horn in front of me, after I had just climbed Saddleback Mountain, I just wanted to plop myself down on the rocks and refuse to continue, like a petulant child unwilling to obey a parent. I didn't want to climb that! The wind was cold and the rocks hurt my feet and even though it was only 2:00, it felt like bedtime.But of course I sucked it up and kept going. I only have myself go blame for landing me on that ridge. It was my choice to hike the AT. I am not a child answering to my mother, I am an adult (ugh) answering to my own crazy thru-hike dream. I HAD TO CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN.NOTHING WILL KEEP ME FROM KATAHDIN. ESPECIALLY NOT MY OWN HUMAN WEAKNESS. I AM HERE TO OVERCOME IT, NOT SUCCUMB TO IT.That's all in capitals because I need to believe it. More emphasis is more power!Anyway I made it over the dang gorgeous, amazing, stupid mountains and managed not to die on the dangerous descent to this nice, muddy campsite.I have set up a nice hobo camp on a very nice wooden tent platform (first time I have used one!). I am glad that my tent is freestanding and that it's not supposed to rain. Due to the limitations of local vegetation, my bear bag has been hung kind of right over the foot of my tent. The trees are so thick, though, I feel like any bear who could get to it without trampling my tent first deserves those CLIF bars and cups of peanut butter.My feet hurt, but not as much as my sad lame panda soul (someone come smack me and tell me to suck it up, please). Oh well. I am happy to be in my tent. I feel like I haven't tented in forever! Hooray, tent!My new favorite part of the day is snuggling in my bag for a daydream or book chapter. You know that amazing feeling of being comfortable in bed. My Thermarest and sleeping bag are nowhere near as comfortable as your bed, I'm sure, but they are amazing for me in the woods.I am thankful that my bag is warm and that I am healthy. I should be thankful that I am not poor and starving, and I am, but jeez I cannot wait for this gluttony and pudginess to end. I am thankful that I have a couple more mountains south of me. And I guess that I am actually grateful that there are still a few north. What else am I supposed to do tomorrow if not climb mountains?! BRING THEM ON. I SHALL COAT THEM IN SWEAT AND SNOT.