Date: 2010-07-24
From: Fingerboard Shelter

To: Fort Montgomery
Miles today: 14.1

Digging deep. Thats what I'm doing. I'm digging deep within myself to finish this trail. As you've read the last several journals you can see that I've been struggling. Its now time to see what I've got within myself to finish this bad boy.I've got less than 800 miles to go. That seems like an infinite amount of miles as I sit here in Fort Montgomery, NY. I'm about to leave here in a little bit and its like one million degrees. I've decided to take it slow and go at my own pace instead of the group thing with Stucco and Scatters. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing and I know I'll catch up with them sooner or later...maybe today if I feel up to it.So, I've lost 43 lbs since I left Amicalola. I talked to a few people and I think that I've been real sluggish and crappy feeling because I have not been eating like I should. Its quite apparent in my weight loss. I will promise you this...if I continue to feel horrible I will go see a doctor. I'm giving it more time though.To recap since the last journal I basically left Fingerboard Shelter at 1pm after laying in my tent all morning feeling crappy. The girls had already gone ahead the night. I decided that I would stop in Fort Montgomery, NY and take a zero no matter what. So, I texted them and they decided (later) that they wanted to stop there too. I got to Fort Montgomery at 830pm coming down from Bear Mtn and I got a ride from Kit Kat to the Holiday Inn Express (I was put up courtesy of Cyndi). It rained on me and I was nearing exhaustion but the day off has been really nice. So, even though this journal entry reads 7/24/10, I'm really writing this on 7/25/10. Thats because I'm going to be writing another journal entry tonight when I'm done hiking for today. How am I feeling as I'm about to head out the door? Not quite sure yet. I'm ready to be done hiking but at the same time I'm also not ready to end this. I need to finish. I can not stop this journey now. I just feel like I'm physically breaking down which is slowly draining me emotionally. My body isn't reacting like it used to. Is this just a temporary thing or a permanent thing...I have no idea. When I'm physically dragging it takes a toll on me emotionally. I start to wonder why I'm putting myself through this and all of that jazz. Please don't misinterpret that....I don't doubt why I'm doing this or who I'm doing this for but it can be tough when you're all alone, its hot, you're out of water, you're doing nothing but climbing hills, and you don't know when your next shower is. Thats why I'm digging deep within myself and relying on God to get me through this tough period. I truly believe that the hardship I go through now will payoff in some kind of life lesson down the road. I'm unsure now of what it is but I know it will help me. So lastly, my spiritual side is sometimes the only thing that gets me through all of this. There are times when I am hurting but like in everything else I do I have to just rely on God to get me through. Suck up the pain and see the brighter side. I have never read anything in the Bible that says that when you're achieving your goals everything is going to be easy and there will not be any sacrifice. As long as I keep relying on God than I will finish.   I leave now for the trail but please know I'm doing good and I will hopefully be physically ok. Forever faithful to Him!