Date: 2019-05-11
From: Mountaineer Shelter

To: Moreland Gap Shelter
Miles today: 9.6
Weather: overcast clouds

Today we all decided to go 10 miles or so to the next shelter. It was pouring rain when we woke up, so that was a factor, but Hot Sauce was also still taking it easy because of her sickness. Prometheus headed out early and Hot Sauce headed out a few minutes before me. We were joking around with two older guys in the shelter, Tom and Hiker Dan. Tom and Hiker Dan headed out before us, but I caught up to them soon and passed them. I was making really good time today. They were headed to Scotty¢s Budget Solar Hostel. I had considered that place because I didn¢t know much about Roan Mountain, TN, but once I was told about Roan Mountain, I decided to stop there instead. Scotty¢s was a few miles past the shelter. It was a cold and wet day and it was slippery and muddy on the trail. I arrived around 1:30 to the shelter. I had left around 10, so I made good time and was really pleased with that. Hot Sauce and Prometheus had a clothes line up, so I hung my clothes on it and set up my sleep stuff. I went for water and it was ridiculously far. It was sprinkling rain by this point, but not pouring anymore. It was on and off as we sat in the shelter throughout the afternoon. 25-Mile arrived and asked if anyone wanted to keep hiking, but I didn¢t. I wanted to be in a shelter, out of the rain, and with my friends. Unfortunately something terrible happened last night. I¢m sure most of you have heard by now. There was a guy terrorizing hikers for weeks in the Erwin area, but no one pressed charges on him. He was let go from jail because they had no charges on him, and he ended up making his way back on trail and killing a man and injuring a woman last night. It was about 100 miles ahead of me. I had originally thought of hiking ahead of Damascus this week and then coming back for trail days, but now I knew I was just going to Damascus. They closed the trail where the incident occurred, but it did open a day or so later. Prometheus knew when I arrived at the shelter and broke the news to me. He had people from home reaching out to see if he was okay. I had no one reaching out so I figured it hadn¢t made national news yet, but most people who knew me knew I wasn¢t where the incident had occurred anyway. Still, I was craving contact because this was a pretty scary thing to have happen. I know it¢s completely random and rare, but it happened 100 miles from me and I was afraid I might¢ve known the victims, and I was genuinely scared. I¢m so vulnerable out here anyway, being on my own. My life is in my backpack and I¢m relying on social connections with other hikers to feel safe and comforted. It¢s hard to be out here feeling so vulnerable and have this happen. There were lots of rumors going around and Prometheus was staying updated on Reddit, but we really knew nothing. We tried to make the most of the afternoon, hanging out and spending time with each other, staying comforted in the companionship. It came time to do camp chores and Prometheus went to hang his food bag. I was alone with Hot Sauce and I felt like talking to her about where we¢re at because she¢s been so chilly. Of course she was mean all over again. I was sweet to her and said ¢I¢m sorry about all that¢s gone down, but I resolved things with Prometheus and I¢m happy to be with you guys again and I missed you¢ and she said ¢we¢re not ready to start planning or doing things with you yet.¢ I will just mention that I had no drama with her recently. Nothing. I did nothing to her. What happened with Prometheus was between me and him, just like when she had drama with him a week before. But yet, somehow I¢m always the problem, so of course Hot Sauce has to hate me even when I¢ve done nothing to her. I was so upset and texted Prometheus to stay up there so I could walk up and talk to him. He had helped 25-Mile hang her bag and when she left, I was able to talk to him. He said that what Hot Sauce said was not true at all and that he was happy to hike with me. He had needed space too, but everything was good now. Why is this always the case with this kind of situation? The guy in the middle gets roped up into having opinions he doesn¢t even know he has. Hot Sauce phrased it all as ¢we feel this way¢ when really ¢she¢ felt that way. Prometheus was fine having me back in the picture. I cried to him because I¢m just so sick of this bullying and treatment from Hot Sauce. I¢ve just tried to be a good friend and supportive hiking partner and she hates my guts because I walked into the situation and she got jealous. It¢s just painful. I know it must sound trivial again, but it really is painful for me. I don¢t hold grudges, I don¢t cut people out in my life, which explains my hard friendship situations I¢ve talked about before. But I was really trying to give Hot Sauce chance after chance to come around and warm up to me, and she just wasn¢t. I just can¢t stand not being liked by someone. It hurts my pride and my confidence and makes me hate myself. And she hates me simply because I walked into her friendship with Prometheus. Prometheus was very reassuring, but he opened up to me about something else while we were standing there and the whole thing with Hot Sauce went out the window. He¢s leaving the trail. I don¢t know when he officially decided, but tonight is the night he told me. He said it¢s a variety of factors. The trail is run like a business in some places like the hostels and shuttles and he doesn¢t like that and the same murders and violence that happen elsewhere can also happen here. There were also things at home that he wanted to get back to. I¢m pretty upset because I just got to a good place with him again and now he¢s leaving. I totally support him because he¢s my buddy and I want the best for him, but this totally sucks. I¢m going to miss him so much. I hugged him and it was such a long and special hug. I really did get so close so fast with him and that happens on the trail. I was going to the bathroom with the door open in our hotel room, something that took me years to do with my old boyfriend. I got to a comfort level with Prometheus so fast and that bond is so strong. I know I can stay friends with him. He is from MA and I¢m from CT, so we¢re not far from each other. But it still totally sucks to not have him here for the rest of my journey. But it is my journey and I have to remember that. Prometheus was a wonderful part of it, but he was just a part of it. There are many others that will be a part of it too. It was so hard to hear this news on top of everything else today, but I needed to know so I could prepare myself. We headed down and had dinner. Prometheus finished my dinner because I couldn¢t, and we put our bags on his bear line. We went to bed and it rained a bit outside.Little Debbie