Date: 2008-10-02
From: Millinocket, ME

To: Millinocket, ME
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

Poured all nite and poured all day today. It¢s about 5:45 p.m. now, and I¢m seeing sun for the first time in 2 days. SO SO SO glad we had things work out this way. We would have been hiking into White House Landing this morning had we stayed out, so that would have meant 2 more miserable days of hiking in pouring cold rain. Hey, I¢m A-OK with avoiding that crap. Karen is most appreciative of it too.I woke up at 6:15 a.m., and couldn¢t go back to sleep, so I uploaded my pics up to now, so Persistent can have more cutting pasting fun with my pic captions. She¢s something else¢¦really.   She has to copy and paste every single individual caption (that I¢ve emailed to her) into every individual picture and change the date according to what I¢ve emailed her. You all (unless you¢ve done this) have NO idea how freakin monotonous this process is. I personally hate doing it for my own pics, but will gladly do it for someone next year, as I¢d like to pay her favor forward and transcribe for someone out there who is hiking next year. I¢ve not heard anything yet from Talkerman, but am crossing my fingers I do soon. I got Persistent¢s cell #, and if I have service, I¢m calling her ass at work (or wherever she is) next Tuesday, as I stand on top of Mt. Katahdin! It will be the greatest phone call man¢¦.So today, Karen got pouty and realized that she REALLY wants to climb Katahdin with me, and boy would I love that. We went to resupply and got her a knee brace, but her knee is feeling much better, although it¢s still tweeky. I think the next several days off it, all the rest, and hiking with a day pack¢¦she¢ll be absolutely fine. And if she starts feeling tired, well¢¦that¢s what Vivarin is for! LOL (just ask Auntie Mame how I talked her ear off one day when I took 1 of those things after lunch¢¦it took about 15 minutes to kick in and next thing I know she¢s going, ¢So Certain, are you feeling that Vivarin yet?¢¢¦we both started laughing, I hadn¢t taken a breath in like 20 minutes).   I actually have not used the stuff at all on the trail (except that one day).We got up around 8:30 a.m. and went down to the continental breakfast, which was pretty crappy. I had 2 blueberry bagels and some coffee. We did take some time to talk to Jaybird (GA) also known as ¢The Weapon of Mouse-Destruction.¢ He summited a few days ago and is a bit lost with nothing making him check back in, so he¢s decided he¢s going to go back out and start south again! We talked for a long time and he was relieved to find out he wasn¢t the only one stopping to smell the roses. He said he pushed hard to MA, but spent almost a month in the Monson area, and almost decided to stop hiking then. He was a very nice man, and I told him I hoped I¢d see him as he starts sobo and I¢m finishing up going nobo. Then we went back up to the lovely, warm, non-raining room and I made my resupply list. I also played around with a computer program that is going to allow me to give you all a small surprise (as in¢¦you¢¦the journal reader). Karen packed up her dry hammock and tarp and then decided all that hard work warranted a nap. I went through the food we still have left to see if I wanted to take any of it. I¢m going to try to be creative with my final meals¢¦do some things that aren¢t just your normal trail food. This afternoon, we left to go resupply. First, I went to Effie¢s Bakery. If they have a Strawberry Rhubarb Pie, I¢m buying it and will carry the whole thing for my breakfasts!! So, it¢s pouring (makes me smile I¢m not hiking) and we go to the bakery. I go inside and I struck out¢¦damn. Oh well, good thing I still really like pop tarts. I did buy these yummy peanut butter bars with chocolate on top. Then we went to Hannafords, which is a larger grocery store than the IGA in town. So it¢s pop tarts for breakfast, but for lunch I¢m having this great flat bread that Karen used while she was hiking, I had the deli slice some smoked swiss cheese for me, got some mayo packets, and then have those cheap little packages of lunchmeat. Then it¢s a small bag of chips and a small package of oreos or chips ahoy¢¦mmmmmm. For dinner, I¢ll admit, not creative, but I still like Idahoan Instant Loaded Mashed Potatoes and these great Rice a Roni pasta things that I add the babybel cheese to. My bakery bars are my dessert for dinner though.   I also got some individual packs of apple cider for a hot drink at camp in the evening. It so helps to get a hot liquid in you to warm the core body while waiting for your dinner to cook. Back for my birthday, Persistent had sent me a Mountain House Raspberry Crumble Cake. Since I got the maildrop box after my birthday, I decided to hang on to that thing, and I¢m saving it to eat my last nite on the trail at Katahdin Stream campground as a celebratory cake. We¢ve been carefully making sure it didn¢t get lost in the mix of the billions of bags of miscellaneous gear and food that we¢ve collected. I¢ve never had one of their desserts, so I¢m pretty excited to try it.Next stop was Rite Aide where we got Karen¢s knee brace, and she almost got a Homer Simpson doll, but we were suddenly distracted by the Halloween aisle, where we modeled the hottest masks of the year¢¦Obama and McCain masks!!   Seriously? What¢s next? Tent costumes?   You know¢¦where you act like you might actually want to sleep in one¢¦ON the GROUND? Now THAT¢S scary. We came back to the room, I got all my food ready to go and finished packing my pack. I have no clue what to expect from the weather. For Millinocket, it looks dry except for Friday afternoon and sunny the rest of the time I¢ll be out. If I type Baxter State Park in on weather.com (which isn¢t THAT far away), it actually forecasts rain/snow showers on Saturday evening. No clue how that huge of a difference can exist, so I decided to take the fleece sleeping bag liner that Karen bought and used out there. This is just in case it actually does drop into the low 30¢s and snow. My bag is rated to 20 degrees, but as we all know, I¢m a cold weenie, so it would make me feel better to know I have one more layer that adds another 10 degrees of warmth. It did get into the low 30¢s when Karen was out with me, and her sleeping bag is rated at 40 degrees, but with that fleece liner, she was fine. Hey..what¢s a little more pack weight right! LOLSo today, Karen asked how I was doing. I told her I¢m scared shitless. It hit me hard yesterday actually. This deep feeling of panic, feeling that almost sense of doom because I know real life is right outside my door and I don¢t ¢really¢ have a plan yet. I almost applied for a job yesterday, but decided I had time to do that when I get home. On the flip side, I¢m speechless when it comes to how excited I am to go home to my kitties. I have not seen them since the beginning of May, and if you all knew me personally (let¢s face it¢¦you pretty much do), you¢d know that my kitties are a central part of my life. I don¢t see my cats as a fixture or convenience, they are true family members (they are respectful animals though¢¦not brats) that enrich my life and I have missed them more than I ever imagined I would. I get to see my little man Henry and my Hanky ¢Alien Boy¢ in just days. I¢m scared because in 5 days, this thing that has been such a huge focal point in my life will be gone. ¢The Hike.¢ It¢s not that I can¢t hike again, I¢m so looking forward to hiking and camping more. I told Karen I¢m glad I¢m not sounding like so many hikers I¢ve talked to in past weeks where they almost ALL say, ¢I¢m never hiking again when this is finished.¢ I¢m so happy I don¢t feel that way at all. I¢m excited as hell to go out for my first weekend, where I plan it around perfect weather and have no schedules or logistics to worry about other than getting back to my vehicle to drive home. I hope I have some good weather in VA to still go out this fall. I don¢t think I can just amputate this trail and my outdoor home in one day after spending this much time living out here.I think it will forever be the place I go to take refuge from this overwhelming world, a place to reground, to be still and to detox from real life, which right now to me¢¦.is looking pretty toxic. I think about Jaybird, who I didn¢t get the impression had anyone to go home to. In this sense, I am most fortunate of anyone I can think of. Not only do I have a partner who I find my home within, but she has been here, been part of the dialogue¢¦the story¢¦the experience, and has even braved 11 days straight in these Maine mountains with me. She gets it, she knows, she doesn¢t need me to explain what it was like¢¦.she¢s been there. I told Karen I didn¢t know what to expect in the coming days and weeks and that I¢m afraid of tapping her out¢¦.energy-wise, because I¢ve been asking and needing and asking and needing for months now. Her response? ¢Not even close, I want you to finish, that¢s always been the goal and helping you do that and facing what comes after is what I¢m here for. My only request is that once you finish, we go home and you get a job that pays $150,000 a year.¢ How can I not love this woman? That¢s where I¢m at right now. Heading out for sure in the a.m. for my final 5 days on the Appalachian Trail. It¢s about a 1 hour drive back to Kokadjo B-Pond Rd. I¢m planning three 15 mile days (which yes, that sounds high for me at this point but I¢m HIGHLY motivated and the terrain..well let¢s just say it doesn¢t get any easier than this..unless the trail crews installed moving sidewalks out here.). Then it¢s a 10 miler from Abol Bridge into Katahdin Stream Campground and then of course¢¦a round trip of 10.4 miles up and back down Mt. Katahdin.   I do not believe I¢m telling you all my final hiking plan. I do not believe I will lay my eyes on Mt. Katahdin in the coming days¢¦for the first time. I do not believe that 1 week from today, I will have finally attained my goal of hiking every mile of the Appalachian Trail. I don¢t know what it means to everyone else because of the extreme personal nature of this journey, but for me¢¦.I have no words right now. ~Certain