Date: 2016-07-20
From: Eagles Nest Shelter

To:  Port Clinton
Miles today: 9.0
Weather: few clouds

Yesterday, I hiked 12 miles to Eagles Nest Shelter. Yogi is an AT hiker slang word that means to beg. Last winter, I attended a workshop for future AT hikers. One of the high priests of AT hiking, Baltimore Jack (BJ) solemnly declared that no matter who we were in our pre-AT lives, we would eventually find ourselves yogiing, either for goods or services, no exceptions to the rule. I silently vowed that I would be the exception to the rule. Then reality happened. There are two kinds of yogiing. The first kind is blunt, demandingyogiing. This method rarely works. Then there is subtle yogiing. A yogi master can so subtly and skillfully beg for the goods or services he/she needs that the victim will swear that the idea of doing this good deed was all the victims idea. A few summers ago, while vacationing in New Hampshire, my wife and I experienced some blunt, unsubtle yogiing. We were in a campground and we were approached by 4 hikers. They made a good start by informing us that they had hiked over 2000 miles of the AT. Had they followed that up with a polite request for us to give them a ride into town to buy groceries, we would have gladly done so and refused any offers of payment. However, they strongly insinuated that since they had done this astonishing hike, that we pretty much owed them a ride into town. I do not respond well to others perceived entitlements. Myself and a new friend that I had just met were lounging in our campsite for the evening when two young men, dressed in fancy dress clothes and fancy shoes strolled into our campsite, with huge smiles. They said they were brothers, and asked if myself and my new friend were also brothers. This question surprised me, because (thankfully) I do not look anything like my new friend. I said that no, we were not brothers. Later, we would discover that this was an important question to the two brothers. The two brothers had parked their car in a parking lot very close to the AT. They said that their two sisters from Maine were visiting, and the four of them had just finished eating a picnic. I saw a prime opportunity to do some subtle yogiing. I casually mentioned that while I though Pennsylvania was a very beautiful state, my one problem was that most of the streams I depended upon for drinking water were dry, leaving me constantly short of water. The brothers said they had plenty of water left over from their picnic, and asked if I wanted any. I shrugged my shoulders and said yes, provided that would not be an inconvenience to them. When they returned, they not only had plenty of water, but many snacks, and a huge bowl of grapes. The two brothers and their two sisters insisted that me and my new friend consume everything they had brought. I felt like a yogi master. What I did not realize was that the hunter (me) was also the hunted, and that by accepting their very generous food/water offer, I had stepped right into their trap. You see, I was not the only one yogiing. They were yogiing too, and by accepting their generosity, I had left myself open to their yogiing, which consisted of preaching to me and my new friend. They were Mennonites, and they reached into their pockets and pulled out some religious tracts. I listened to them with genuine respect, because no one appreciates a yogi more than another yogi. As they were leaving our campsite, one of the brothers made a remark that initially puzzled both me and my new friend. The Mennonite man cautioned us to remember that God had ordained that marriage be restricted only to one man and one woman. Clearly, he thought my new friend and I were a gay couple, and we could not figure out how he came to this conclusion. Then we remembered the question about whether we were brothers, and my friend had not yet pitched his tent. They saw only one tent and assumed we were sharing a tent (which would not necessarily make us gay.) Well, hey, why not? During the course of my hike, I have been mistaken for a completely worthless bum, a homeless man, and now half of a gay couple. All right, all right. I am willing to concede that there may be more than a grain of truth to the completely worthless bum charge, but HOMELESS??? NEVER!!! And my wife will back me up on this one. Isn't that right, Ginny? Um, Ginny is there any reason why you changed the locks on the door, and my personal belongings are stacked up outside that locked door? Hmmm. A sage once said, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged." I think that is a very wise thought. To that I would like to add something that I am going to call Marshmellow's Maxim: "Yogi not, and ye shall not be yogied."