Date: 2015-03-25
From: Cognitive Dissonance Creek

To: (On the Road) to Damascus
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: light rain

The kids took night in Hostel and a half day off in Erwin (thank you Uncle Johnny) to resupply, fill the hiker box, shower, eat $1 pizza, and fill the hiker box again. I find it interesting that Google Maps has only two real landmark symbols for the area, one for the Appalachian Trailhead and the other for the Wallmart SuperCenter across town.and so it goes.I have another fiction to offer. Not your normal campfire story, but one fitting for the trail and some funny look-a-likes you might encounter in the bush. It's loosely based on Paul the Apostle (Saul of Tarsus) and his "enlightenment" on the Road to Damascus. Cept, this time he encounters Sasquatch... I was intrigued by the DNA studies that have been popping up in the news lately... you never know... Some say that there's a wild smell to the creatures, and they somehow have telepathic abilities... makes for a great tale. What would you do if you had proof of an encounter?Still a developing fiction ... but here's a rough draft...enjoy============================================ On the Road to DamascusThe meat of this story centers around a doll made out of wrangled sticks. Found on a Brown-Blaze detour by a girl from Tennessee. Nature calls, and this call was collect, straight from serendipity.Not just sticks, but once-green sticks shredded carefully in the middle all fluffed out, intertwined and balled to resemble a little doll. An intricate kindle-wad about the size and shape of a Cabbage Patch creature. Not really human, but we¢re getting ahead of ourselves.There are only 3 towns in the US with the name Tarsus. Arkansas, Alabama, and the great state of Tennessee. Home of Oak Ridge, where the US Gov had a secret military base second only Los Alamos where Oppenheimer played with his Manhattan Project toys during WWII. That¢s where she came from, and grew up around, the Girl from Tarsus. Her childhood trail name became ¢G-Tar-Sis¢ because she played the same three chords on the guitar, no matter what song she sang. Everyone in her family had a trail name, and some history working for the government, including grandpa ¢Two-Star¢ Groves, and father ¢Reynolds Hat¢ with his unique view of things. (A tribute to Paw-Paws time at Oak Ridge and her father's "interesting" career in military intelligence...) Her dad used to stare at goats. The Tarsus clan loved the outdoors and had some strange stories to share around the fire pit. Trust me.As this story gets legs, young Girl Tarsus met a guy early during her first attempt at a thru-hike in 2015. He was about her age and kept to himself most times (but good-looking). He carried a pack guitar too, so it surprised only the legally-blind hiker in the bubble of trail companions ("SirFallsALot") that they hit it off so well. They spent time oogling at the same shelters usually in lyrical fashion. His trail name was ¢SaulitDude¢¢¦ before she came along. Unless the crowd was talking politics or other "useful conversation," he was always outside the circle entertaining himself with his guitar, even though he often tried to pace his pause and rhythm with the laughter at the campfire. Sauld (yes, with a d) was his birth name, but nobody was supposed to know that.They became close by the time they left Hot Springs,...so close that when Sauld was off by himself, other hikers called him ¢Saul of G-Tarsus.¢   He hated the religious overtone and preferred his own identity, ¢Just-the-D" or "Dude,¢ but neither really stuck.We¢re getting to the Squatch sighting on the Trail to Damascus, but 'bear' with me for some additional background.The Dude wasn¢t in the clique¢ of government-paid trolls, but he always thought of himself as a bona fide rational debunker. Often persecuting those around him for straying from the "mainstream" path. Some of his ROTC buddies actually made a good living posting "good-sense" ad hominem on the web for Homeland Security, or some such private spin-off agency. Kraft International or ¢Z¢...(not BlackWater, that name went away after some ¢light-of-day¢ incident). Anyway.All that crazy stuff on the Web and TV, not fit for ¢civilized¢ conversation needed to be addressed with a lawyer¢s zeal if it ever came up around the water cooler at work,... or AT-15 campfire. We all knew from Bill O-Reilly, Greta van-What's-her-name and Geraldo how much hogwash there was to waste one¢s time with, including 911, lost civilizations, Sasquatch Hunters and all that spun garbage of conspiracy and History Channel bullshet they shoveled at you nowadays. (Good thing for decent programming like Naked and Afraid, otherwise he'd go crazy himself.) As for the Web, nobody knew Snopes and Wiki- like the Dude.Well, on the way to Damascus¢¦you¢ll never guess what happened. Ahem. Amen. ... or whatever. ¢Rise, and go into Damascus, and there you will be told all that is appointed for you to do.¢Now sharing exclusive camping abode¢¦ the Dude and G-Tar girl had this ¢doll¢ to deal with. It smelled terrible, they both thought it was because of the Brown-Blaze location where she found it. Too cute and odd to discard in a Hiker¢s Box, they carried it around for several days, but wrapped up in a ¢woobie¢ army poncho liner the G-Tar girl¢s dad had given her for extra warmth. It helped with the stench, but Dad's camo blanket was now a lost cause. This night, she left it sitting with her trek-poles outside the shelter. The couple were by themselves, usually a treat on the trail. Not this night.They were in a tent, in the shelter, braving a cold spell with only a sliver of moon glowing through the green nylon bubble. They smelled something bad though, something stronger than the wrangled stick doll. Similar, but real bad. Too strong. They heard rustling, but the wind was picking up anyway. G-Tar girl spoke first, ¢Did you say something?¢ ¢No, I thought you did, ... and I didn¢t do anything to your damn doll.¢ Typical denial for any guy, including the Dude.G-Tar girl was a little freaked, ¢I heard someone say ¢That¢s my baby doll¢ but it wasn¢t spoken, I just heard it in my head.¢The dude chalked it off to family weirdness, knowing enough about her background, but it was a little strange about the doll reference. He "heard" it too. They were both spooked with a thump and commotion outside the tent. Near the bench outside the shelter.He grabbed the camera and thrust his arm outside the tent snapping away, hoping the flash would startle the bear¢¦ and maybe he¢d get a shot or two for keepsake. They stayed awake for a while, but nothing happened except hearing a couple tree branches give way in the distance.Next morning. Trek poles were gone. Woobie too. G-Tar girl was pissed, her back was sore and she needed the poles to distribute the weight, especially on grades. They didn¢t think much or talk about the bear until they saw the pictures after charging the camera during an oatmeal breakfast.Holy smokies. Not a bear. ¢No friggin¢ way.¢ This thing had hands, not claws. The face was clear too. Not a big thing, but on two legs that's for sure. No snout -- the face was round with camera-red eyes in one pic, and you could make out lips. It looked like a hairy little "De Plane" Tattoo guy from the old Fantasy Island series. Only a bit feminine... about 3¢ tall. "Well, stretch my Corinthian Leather!" (Actual language omitted.)The Dude was floored. He took back all he thought and said about bigfoot hoaxes. He knew what he had "heard" and had proof of on camera. Three good shots. G-Tar girl made sure to twist in the old ¢told-you-so¢ reminding Mr. Just-D Bunker about DNA studies done by the equestrian-lineage expert and leading scientist in the field, Dr. Melba Ketchum. Clearly identifying squatch DNA as part human. And something other than ape. (The Girl had been a fan of Coast-to-Coast radio for a while... didn¢t appreciate George "Snoory" that much and wished Art Bell would be able to come back to XM Radio ... she'd have to catch up with John B. Wells when she got off the trail...)Anyways.It seems that on the Trail to Damascus, it was fitting that ¢Saul of G-Tarsus¢ found "epiphany in the flash of camera light." He was on a mission to tell the world about it. They were going to be famous! The Dude would ..not..shut... up... OMG!...But the G-Tar girl knew better. So.... after a hurried and exhausting 23-mile day in the rain, snug in her roll well after midnight, she snuck out the camera and ..."whoops" deleted tres le'-photo. The night before they were to hit the trail to the Virginia line...before they caught up with anybody. She knew how this story ended. She didn¢t want hoards of hunters tracking down a 3¢ squatch ... Any more than hanging an innocent on the cross. Tired and first up as always, she lightly exited the tent, stretched in the open air, trying to recount the evening. She tried not to wake the Dude while she (politely) hawked back and spit.She remembered slipping the camera back unnoticed... that part was clear. She had the faint memory as she was drifting off...catching a nasty whiff (probably the jerkey-Dude) and hearing a faint whisper... Only in her head though..."Your Dad says Hi!... and sleep well." Weird. Mind-fog lifting though, wouldn't you know, miles-and-a-day later... The missing trek-poles were leaning alone on the muddied old licklog this morn. With some Big-Ass footprints leading from and back to the woods. "No more bush-beating-off-trail-blaze..." she thought, "Next time, I'm holding out for a shelter with a privvy." The doll was in the right place.The Dude, for the life of him couldn't imagine why anyone would be sweeping a campsite... whistling with brush and smile first thing in the morning...=======================================Links to References:Dr. Melba Ketchum/FOX News InterviewRoad to Damascus... Saul of Tarsus = Paul the Apostlefor those that hung in there to get here at the bottom of the page... here's a recent sighting in Yellowstone...don't shoot the messenger (or Squatch, if you see one)