Date: 2008-10-07
From: Millinocket, ME

To: Millinocket, ME
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

As expected, a shitty nite¢¦slept horribly, had stressful dreams, tossed and turned, got hot then cold then hot. We decided last nite that we¢d hang out today in the Econolodge, after checking out this morning. Once we found the word about Katahdin at 5 p.m., if it¢s still closed, we¢re heading down to stay with V8 and wait this thing out as long as we can. If it¢s open tomorrow, we¢ll check back in and finish this hike tomorrow. V8, after I emailed her, enthusiastically offered her home to us, which was a huge relief. To make the nite shittier, I had forgotten to turn my alarm off, which I¢d set for 4:15 a.m., for Karen and I to get up super early at Katahdin Stream Campground, so off it goes, I had to get up and find my watch¢¦damn.   A rude awakening for sure. I layed there forever not being able to sleep, but eventually drifted off after what seemed like hours and woke again at 8 a.m. I layed there some more, no energy to even check my email and at 8:30, Karen woke up, asking if I wanted to go eat breakfast. I just went down and got coffee and made her a bagel and brought it back up. There were 2 hikers down there, the mood was dull, fully of worry and stress.I had been fighting a headache all nite and after I got back to the room, it hit me like a brick wall¢¦.sound, light, even inhaling air through my nostrils hurt my head, so Karen asked for a late check out, explaining there was a hiker up here with a migrain. I layed there, knowing I needed to journal, knowing I needed to do my picture captions, but I could not move.   Karen rubbed my neck and head, but by 11:15 a.m., I decided to go take a piping hot shower and just MAKE my body realign and buck up. The shower actually helped some, and we had to check out by noon. Our car was piled up in a way that was so hilarious¢¦it looked like a bomb went off in it, so we decided to repack and reorganize our crap. I told Karen we needed to pack our packs as if we were hiking, so when/if we got the news, we¢d be ready and not frantic to find what we needed. In the parking lot, we took everything out, re-organized, and as we stood out there on a clear sunny day, I still couldn¢t imagine these temps being warm enough to melt snow and ice way up past 5,000 feet you know? As we were out there, a hiker, Hammer (MA) and his tiny dog Nails came up. Nails walked right up to me and rolled onto her back for a tummy rub. Oh¢¦just what I needed, some animal therapy. Hammer had flipped from Gorham, and now found himself waiting around like the rest of us, but with the additional pressure of needing to complete a lot more trail. He had gotten really sick and had to take 3 months off, so he flipped just ¢to be safe.¢ He¢s really torn on what to do now.We were finished repacking and weren¢t sure what to do, so we decided to just hang out in the lobby where we had internet access and could do some laundry, so we pulled up some not so comfortable chairs and I threw the laundry in and tried to catch up on journaling, which was really hard to do. I saw guestbook comments from concerned readers, emails from my mom and Persistent. It¢s obvious who I get my rebellious streak from¢¦.my mother, who was telling me, ¢If YOU think its safe for you, then just do it¢¦hike!¢ Well, I had to explain the consequences of such a choice (jail, 15,000 fine, they take your gear, etc.) as well as the safety issue, but it made me laugh.As different hikers walked by, it was a heavy and solemn mood. Karen was talking to someone¢s parents 2 days ago who said, ¢If it¢s not open tomorrow, we¢re just leaving.¢ Wow, I can¢t imagine being put in that position¢¦.to have to leave when there IS a chance the warmer temps will melt the stuff you know? We sat there, and I thought about trying to pull from my previous life experiences where nature caused the cancellation of big celebrations for me. One, believe it or not, was my Marine Corps Bootcamp graduation. My family had airline tickets, and for 3 months you look forward to the last few days where you get treated like a ¢real¢ person for the first time, where you get to show your family where you¢ve been training, they get to talk to your drill instructors, there¢s the graduation ceremony where I was supposed to get a special award¢¦and then hurricane Fran started towards Parris Island, SC. Just when we were supposed to enjoy the fruits of our labor, they cancelled graduation, we had to call our families and tell them not to come because the airports were closed, and we spent our last few days nailing boards up on all the windows on base. Then, because the airports were closed, they threw those of us flying home, on a bus, we spent the nite on it going down to Florida who had the nearest airport opened, and we spent the nite in uniform on the floor of the airport and flew home the next day. Pretty disappointing. The other time was when I graduated with my Master¢s degree. This is in Oklahoma during spring¢¦so it¢s tornado season. There were severe and dangerous storms headed our way, so they cut the graduation short to get everyone out of there. I seem to have a ¢relationship¢ with weather, but I am not one to believe in a jinx or some ridiculous superstition. And there is one huge difference between my current situation and those other 2. Mt. Katahdin isn¢t going anywhere, whereas, I couldn¢t just randomly show up to my university or bootcamp the next year and say, ¢I want to have a graduation now.¢ I will be honest though¢¦.this logic isn¢t making it any easier to deal with, because I WANT my ending¢¦I WANT to finish and not have this 5 miles hanging over me through yet another winter. Could this be the trail¢s one final lesson in patience? I think some things are pretty hard-wired into you, and being patient for things to happen in life, I think I¢ll always struggle with. So in these situations, where there are no answers to the question of ¢why?¢, there are no reasons to give, there is no one to angry with or to blame¢¦there¢s just a nothingness, which is a pretty brutal place to be and one that is not that common (this is why we love to sue everyone for everything in this country¢¦.gives you someone to blame). And this is the ultimate lesson in facing the face that indeed, we have no control over anything¢¦except our attitudes. I walked over to the front desk to get our receipt for checking out. It¢s about 1:30 p.m. now and I talked to Cassandra, the front woman. She said she didn¢t think they¢d re-open the mountain either¢¦just considering how Maine¢s weather can be. I got the receipt and walked back over to Karen and sat down again. Smiley came down and we were all talking about options. And then a miracle happened.Cassandra walked over and goes, ¢Well, I guess it¢s your lucky day, the mountain is open tomorrow.¢ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????? DID SHE JUST SAY IT¢S OPEN TOMORROW??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belted a giant howl, as did Smiley and he ran up to tell Homeward Bound and then Cassandra said she was going to call everyone she thought were hikers to tell them. Oh my gosh¢¦the feeling? Undescribeable¢¦I started crying, it was utter and complete release. Karen just walked over and hugged me in the lobby. I said, ¢I can¢t believe it¢¦I can¢t believe it, I get to finish tomorrow and then I get to go home.¢I immediately emailed Persistent, V8 and my mom, and then my appetite came back, so we went to the AT Caf© and enjoyed a big breakfast. We then went over to talk to Ole Man and verify gate opening time. He was almost empty, to my surprise, because the hikers all moved over to the Econolodge where they could crap a ton of people into 1 room, making it cheaper than the hostel. Now, hikers were all wondering how they were getting back to Baxter, and Ole Man¢s shuttles were already totally full. Unfortunately, our car is only a 2 seater with the back completely packed, so we can¢t be of help to anyone. Ole Man gave me a big hug, and I told him he ought to get some counseling credentials, he probably could have made a bundle in the past 5 days. So, we went back to check BACK in to the Econolodge for 2 nites. We got our packs totally ready, and I¢m carrying our warm dry clothes so we¢ll be warm on top. Karen is wearing a small camelbak daypack I¢d first purchased when I decided to do this hike so I could ¢train¢ with it, so that¢s cool it¢s making the trek up Mt. Katahdin.   It¢s been one hell of an emotional roller coaster folks. I¢m exhausted. The weather looks to be perfect tomorrow, so I actually think we¢ll get a Class I day.I appreciate all the thoughts and energy sent our way as you all waited along with us. So thank you. We¢re going to be at the Togue Pond Gate when they open at 6 a.m., and will hopefully be hiking by 6:30 a.m. We know and are prepared for it to be a really really long day, and even suspect some nite hiking will be involved, so we¢re all ready to go.People¢¦can you believe I finish the Appalachian Trail tomorrow? Finally¢¦¢¦ ~Certain