Date: 2014-08-03
From: Vernon, N.J.

To: Day 113 - Vernon N.J. to Greenwood Lake N.Y. 1367.
Miles today: 15.0

Where to begin? Let me start at the end of the day when I got off the trail at Rte. 17A and walked up the road to the Bellvale Creamery. I was hoping a milkshake would cure my blues. The shake was awesome, as were the two bottles of cream soda, but the blues not only remained, they deepened.I had been arguing with myself all day whether or not to get off the trail. My feet were killing me; my right foot more than my left, which made no sense, and mentally I had just had it. I didn't want to hike hurt anymore. I didn't want to hike alone anymore. I just felt done.The lovely, smart, and always understanding Administrator didn't hesitate when I asked her to come pick me up. She got in the car, set the GPS, and called me with an ETA.At the Creamery, two nice ladies, Stephanie and Heidi, could see that I was in some difficulty as I sat barefoot trying to massage the pain out of my feet. They brought me some band-aids and ointment and asked if I would like a ride to town. I took them up on the offer and they drove me to The Irish Whisper, a pub in Vernon, N.J. where I figured I'd wait for Amy and sooth my aches with a couple of frosties. Thank you, ladies!While at the pub I met four young people who are thru-hiking. They're from St. Pete Florida and I'm ashamed to say I can't remember their trail names. They were a young couple and the husband's two male cousins. They were kind enough to listen to my story and the more we talked about the trail the less I liked what I was saying. Yes, I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm lonely, but maybe I'm not ready to leave. It was too late, Amy was on her way and I was going home.When she pulled up outside at 8:30 I was standing on the curb. I could see that she could see the conflict going on in my head. I said, "You're going to kill me, but I don't know what I want to do. My feet are swollen, the infected toe looks worse and my right foot is more sore than the left, but I don't know if I really want to quit. If I do go home, I won't come back, I'll be done." Without missing a beat and with a calm and sincere look she answered, "If you want to continue that's no problem." I said, "You drove four hours to get me." "No, she said, I drove four hours to see you. If you decide to keep hiking I'm fine with that."I appreciated the offer, but I didn't feel like I could make her come all the way out there for me to change my mind. I put my gear in the car and we headed for home. As we passed the Tuxedo Motel she said, "That's where Mike and Natalie stayed; do you want to stay the night and decide what to do in the morning?" I drove on for a few minutes then turned around and went back to the motel.After we booked the room and settled in we talked about why I was so down. It wasn't the trail that had gotten to me, it was a combination of the infection, the medicine I was taking for it, getting used to hiking alone, and the lack of sleep from the music festival the night before. Tonight I'd get some sleep, I'd be off the meds Wednesday and I'd get used to hiking solo. I'll be hiking again tomorrow. As for the day's hike, aside from the aching feet it was an interesting day on the trail. It started out with a huge climb up Pinwheels Vista. Much of the climb consisted of hundreds of steps cut into the mountain by the local boy scouts; an incredible job. There were rocky ledges that brought me to the NJ/NY border and then to Prospect Rock, the highest point on the AT in NY. I didn't see anyone on the trail itself all day. Very quiet. It's something I'll have to get used to because I seem to be between two bubbles of hikers.