Date: 2008-05-10
From: Interchange at Atkins 

To: Campsite at VA42
Miles today: 11.9

I forgot to mention something funny that happened yesterday. I was hiking through this grassy field, and there was a long footbridge going over a river. I started walking on it and was startled by this explosion of feathers and water. I had frightened a duck, who took of flying (literally) - but it startled ME so much I jumped back and said, "Ahhh!" The duck angrily replied "QUACK!" Anyway, I'm glad no one was there to witness it, because they would have thought, wow, for a hiker, she's really afraid of ducks!I started hiking around 9 this morning. The weather was perfect - sunny and cool. I hiked 5 miles and stopped for lunch, and ran into Rain and Barley. We hiked together in the afternoon. At one point we were hiking through a cow pasture and saw a cow skull, completely bleached out by the sun.I was planning on making it to the first shelter, but decided to stop 2 miles short of it. I'm camping tonight with Rain and Barley and Hell on Bad Wheels. He came by just as we decided to camp, and he'd been having a bad equipment day! The drawstring for his pants came out so they were sagging all day, he lost the bite valve for his bladder, and his steripen wasn't working. When we started talking about the cow skull, he hadn't even noticed it. I joked, "You were too busy pulling your pants up!" Just say no to crack!We ate, bearbagged, and bed! The forecast is for rain tonight and tomorrow, though the sky is clear right now.I've been hesitant to write this because it may be close to blasphemy on this site, but I may be getting burned out on hiking. Take today: beautiful weather, a nice trail, a cow skull, and I couldn't help but admit: I didn't feel like hiking. I noodled around with that thought, trying to understand why I didn't want to hike, and the answer was obvious. If you took 1 thing that you loved to do, and did it for 8 to 12 hours a day, every day, to the exclusion of all other life aspects - other hobbies, your spouse, your friends, your home, your job - it's pretty easy to realize how you could get burned out. I started feeling this way a little before mile 500 and decided if I still feel this way after 100 more miles, I'll leave the Trail. I don't want to make a sudden decision, but 100 miles should be enough to distinguish between true burn out and the Virginia Blues.Another thing is: part of the reason for this trip is to improve my health. And believe me, I AM in better shape. But physically my body is breaking down a bit: my feet, my knees, my shoulders are the worse for wear. I know that I'm very lucky to be out here. But it's also important for me to be honest with what cost my body is paying, and if that's in line with my motivation for this trip.It's surprising, because if you had asked me at the start of this hike, "Bananas, what are you concerned could end your thru-hike attempt?" I would have said, "Well reader, two things: missing my husband, or an injury." I didn't think it would be just getting my fill of hiking.Well, I'll get up tomorrow, keep hiking north, and see how it goes!P.S. It was a nice change of pace hiking with Barley and Rain today - they're really interesting to talk to, so we're chatting away and the miles are ticking by. I catch myself thinking, "See, I CAN do this!" This I realize - we're chatting away so I'm tuning out my surroundings, my feet hurt so I'm leaning heavily on my hiking poles as I walk, and I 'm basically hiking to 'get there', rather than hike to hike. Again: not what this trip is about for me.