Date: 2018-10-08
From: Abol Bridge

To: Mount Katahdin
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: light rain

The season ending of a good tv show leaves you hanging so that you are excited and anxious for the following episode. Apparently the same is true of Marvel movies.  Not so with a hiker blog.There is an end to this tale, and I deprived you of it. I guess that I let you down, and I apologize for that. I have a "reason" which is really not much better than an excuse. You've followed me all along and I should have pressed on with my writing to bring you to the conclusion. My excuse.....I was done. So done.  My body was done. My mind was done. But wait, let me tell you the rest of this story before I jump right to the ending.On September 12, Mark drove Cole and I back to where he had picked us up near Abol Bridge three days prior. I was in good spirits, although not without pain. It drizzled a bit in the morning, but then cleared. The ten miles to Katahdin Stream Campground was mercifully flat and sweetly serene with its many streams, waterfalls and ponds. I was filled with so many emotions. I gathered my thoughts and using the voice-to-text on my phone, I attempted to compose a poem to reflect what was going on in my mind. I didn't accomplish much.  We moved along at a good clip (for me) and by 11am we only had four miles left to go. I sent Mark a text with our status.Arriving at the Campground we scoured the area looking for other elated through hikers. We easily located the ranger station and picked up our permits for the next day to climb Katahdin. Then we sat and waited.And waited.1pm came and went. This was our meet up time with Mark.1:30 passed. Then 2:00. I had no phone signal. By 2:30 I decided that I needed a plan to get us out of the park. It was still early in the day, but my mind was conditioned to make sure I was somewhere safe before dark. It was ten miles back to Abol Bridge where we could find lodging. My fastest pace was still slow.  I returned to the ranger station looking for help, only to find that the ranger had left. A few through hikers were milling about, waiting for her to return so that they could get their permits. I explained my predicament. I didn't know where my ride was and was concerned about getting out of the park. We had our backpacks, but with so little in them that they would not do us for the night. No help was offered.I returned to the picnic table that Cole was at and told him we were going to start hiking back out of the park along the road. That way, if Mark arrived, he would see us on the road.We donned our backpacks and headed out along the road. Our exodus ended quite prematurely when we came to a T intersection. Which way was the way out? From which direction would Mark come? We had no idea.We turned around and retreated to the campground. There were only a few cars in the parking lot, but no drivers in sight. A hiker passed us. I asked him if he had a map of the park. No. Of course not. I returned to the ranger station. Still only the hikers were there. Ugh!!! Part of my brain said, "It is ok Sheila! Mark is coming!" The other part of my brain said, "You only have four hours until sunset! You have nothing! No food. No shelter. You have to take care of Cole and make sure the two of you are safe for the night."I told Cole to stay put and I started walking through the campground looking for people. I came upon a couple at a campsite who were unloading their camping supplies from their car. I asked them if they had a map of the park. They did!! We began to chat and I explained why I needed the map.  We had something in common....they were Canadian!   They offered to drive us to wherever we needed to go, even all the way to our campsite in Millinocket if need be. First, they had to empty their car to make room for us. Back I went to the picnic table to update Cole. Before our benefactors had finished emptying their car, Mark and Evan arrived.  My emergency planning had been unnecessary after all. On Thursday September the 13, Mark returned us to Katahdin Stream Campground early in the morning. We parked and Mark walked the first short stretch with us up the Hunt Trail which is also The Appalachian Trail. We came to a sign-in station where we had to register and indicate which trail we would be returning down after we had summited. I had done little to investigate alternative options. Being  a bit of a romantic, I didn¢t like the notion of summiting and then abandoning the AT. I wanted to say goodbye to her slowly. Or, at least that is what I had decided months earlier, before all of the pain. Still, it was only five miles up. Would the five miles back down be so terrible? I didn¢t know, but having not prepared to make an alternative plan, I wrote down that we were returning on the Hunt Trail. It began easy and gentle, but we knew it wouldn¢t stay that way. Soon the boulders began. Still, it wasn¢t so terrible. Then came the bigger steeper climbs. ¢Is that where we are headed?¢ we kept wondering, peering through the trees at rocky slopes.Then we were above the tree line and briefly the trail was a rock face, completely vertical. There were foot holds, cracks, and bars here and there affixed to the rocks. Then it eased up a bit, but not much. It was up, up, up. Constantly up. Climbing up on all fours.  Heaving, pushing, lifting ourselves up. The entire time I had but one thought. There is no way I can go down this!! Up is one thing. Down. That is something totally different.   I found comfort in the presence of other hikers. Not being alone seemed to remove a little bit of my fear, but not my doubt. We would have to go down a different way. For the moment, I just had to focus on up.It was sunny, bright and hot. As we climbed, a day hiker offered me $100 if I had a container of sunscreen I could sell him. I may have unintentionally curled my nose up at him. If I¢d had it, I would have gladly given it. Why¢d he have to throw a C-note into the request? As it was, I didn¢t have it. Although our backpacks were on our backs, they had been emptied of everything but our lunch, water, and the barest of emergency supplies.  Why did he offer the money? Ok, so I probably stunk. Our clothes had been laundered, but that never took out all of the stench. Mark had brought us clean clothes, but I was determined to finish the trail in the same clothes I had started in. So, ya I stunk. Plus, my tights had a big rip in one leg. I guess that looked trashy. But I had showered that morning.  Did I really look so needy that he felt he had to offer money for sunscreen? Maybe the sun was baking my brain, but I stewed on that stupid comment for quite some time as I climbed. Finally I just had to scold myself. ¢Shut up and climb Sheila. Shut up and climb.¢The ascent was so slow going! Eventually our tummies began to rumble. We found a couple of overhanging rocks that we could just barely get our upper halves under to hide from the sun. We dug sandwiches and almond M and M¢s out of our bags and devoured them. As we ate, we gazed in awe. The scenery around us was stunning. It was more beautiful than I could ever capture in a photo, and more majestic than any combination of words I could ever come up with would accurately describe.  But soon, it was rocks I needed to focus my eyes on once more.At last we climbed the crest of the steepest stretch of the trail, but we were not at the summit yet. I felt robbed when we climbed over that edge and no summit sign greeted us. We still had what seemed like a long way to go. I so wanted to be done, and I let Cole know it, moaning and complaining along the way. In retrospect, I feel sorry for the poor guy, having to listen to me. ¢You can stay here mom, but I¢m going to the sign.¢ He said. I shut up after that. Well, I tried.Meanwhile, back in Millinocket, Mark had received a text.  It read, ¢We only have 4 miles left and it is 11AM¢. It was the text I had sent to him the day before, but he didn¢t realize it. Thinking that we were already on our way back down Katahdin, Mark had sped back to the campground where he sat waiting and waiting and waiting, the tables having been turned from the day prior.Along the last stretch, I quizzed everyone coming towards us in the opposite direction. ¢Which way are you going back down? Where does that come out at the bottom? Are you going back to Katahdin Stream Campground? How are you getting there?¢ After asking  a dozen people, I came up with a plan. The majority of people were returning down the Abol Trail. It came out two miles from where Mark and Evan would be waiting for us. We would go down that way too and once at the bottom, I would stay with the bags and Cole would hike the extra two miles to get Mark. Knowing that we weren¢t going back the way we had come was a relief, but we weren¢t quite finished yet.Up, up, up some more, but not very steep now. And then, there it was. Our destination. The sign. The grand finale. The goal we had set out to reach 173 days prior. The northern terminus of the AT. I felt some tears threatening to well up in my eyes, but with so many people milling about, it was easy to suppress them. I wanted to cry. It would have felt good. But I didn¢t. Instead, I touched the sign. I took pictures of it. I climbed on it. I coaxed my son to be in a few pictures with me. We lifted our arms to the heavens and claimed our victory. We had done it. For those short moments, way up there on the summit of Katahdin, I forgot about the pain in my feet and my back and my fear of going back down. I gazed around trying to imbed the view in my brain. I wanted the image to stay there, clear, crisp, and colourful forever, not fading with time. Now it was Cole¢s turn to be done, and he let me know it, coaxing and coaxing me to stop taking pictures and to get hiking back down.¢We¢ll never be here again Cole.¢¢Well, maybe you won¢t be.¢¢Exactly.¢Finally I relented and we turned away from the sign and the dozens of other people who were trying to do exactly what I had been doing....making the moment last.The Abol trail was easier than the Hunt trail. Please note,that is a comparison, not a description. It was not easy. Most of the first mile I spent bum scooching. Once below tree line it did become easier. Cole went ahead while I gave my feet the pleasure of going as slowly as they wanted to go. Cole went the extra two miles to get Mark who was greatly relieved to see him. The following morning we said our goodbyes to Susan and her family and then headed home. It was a thirteen hour drive. I wasn¢t able to help Mark out much, only contributing about three hours behind the wheel. My cats curled their noses up at me when I walked in the door.  Little snots. I surveyed my home in which my husband and son had been living like bachelors for almost six months. The fridge was empty. The cupboards were full of instant everything.  Mostly it was tidy and the bed linens were clean. Could I have asked for more? Nope. I was home. Once off the AT I wanted to put everything hiking related out of my brain and get back into a routine. I homeschool my boys and we were already a couple of weeks behind. I still needed to order a few books and get lessons prepared. I also teach ESL on-line to children in China and I was anxious to get back to that. I wanted to cook and bake my heart out.  I wanted to rearrange furniture and clean out nooks and crannies. I wanted to play my favourite video game and start watching the list of movies Cole and I had made on the trail. I wanted to play our favorite board game with the family and cuddle with my cats who finally decided to forgive me for leaving.  And, while I did do some of these things, at first all I could do was sit on my butt and wait for my body to heal.  Try as I might, I could not get the AT off my mind. I didn¢t want to think about it, read about it or write about it, but I dreamt about it every night. I was done with it, and I missed it simultaneously. That first night home when I crawled into my bed, I told my husband that I had forgotten how incredibly comfortable our mattress is. But, part way through the night, and on many nights since, I woke up uncomfortable just wanting to blow up my air mattress and lay on the floor. I wouldn¢t say that I had a difficult time adjusting to regular life again. I¢ve been blessed with a wonderful family and a wonderful life. But I don¢t think you ever let go of the AT once you have hiked it.   While we were on the trail, I remember saying more than once, ¢Why would anybody ever do this twice?¢ and yet now I sit here thinking that I completely understand why someone would do it again, and under the right circumstances, I would too.As for Cole, he is doing very well. He came home with no aches or pains, just general weariness. He only lost two pounds, but he grew two inches so he does have some weight to put on. He is adjusting to normal life quickly, but he does seem to get bored more easily than before. At times like that, he goes for a walk.I feel so blessed to have experienced this journey and to have created so many wonderful memories with my son. We did not reach Katahdin on our own.  So many people helped us along the way and we are very grateful.  If you have followed along with us from the start than you know that I believe in a God who answers prayer. His provision and protection over us were vivid to me from day 1 to day 173 and I give Him thanks.Thank you for sharing my journey with me, and hopefully forgiving me for robbing you of a timely ending. Yes Susan Dalton, I guess I was trying to leave no trace. I laughed out loud when I read that comment!  Thank you for not letting me leave no trace. Two of you wonderful readers reached out via email to check on me and I appreciate that a lot. My husband has also been bugging me to finish and my cousin gave me a nudge today too. Thanks to all of you for your concerns and for not giving up on me. This ending was difficult to write and I¢m not sure why because it is a happy one. Blessings,Still Sheila Psalm 46:10  ¢Be still, and know that I am God;    I will be exalted among the nations,    I will be exalted in the earth.¢