Date: 2005-04-22
From: Trail jct. past No Business Knob Shelter, (NC/TN?)

To: Holiday Inn Express, Erwin, TN
Miles today: 6.2
Weather: overcast clouds

The rain let up during the night and it was sunny by morning. We rose early and packed quickly ¢ we wanted to get going before everyone back at the shelter did; we knew they had no idea we¢d camped so close to them last night. As we turned back on to the trail and headed north, we heard a commotion coming from the direction of the shelter, and Cuppa Joe¢s voice floating across the trees: ¢Holy shit! Ho-ly shit! It is on! It is on! It¢s DEFCON One!¢ I stuffed my fist into my mouth to keep from laughing aloud, and hurried up the trail. We passed Thatch, a short ways up ¢ evidently he¢d gone past the shelter last night, and set up his tarp in a clearing on the trail ¢ and swore him to silence. Stilts overtook us not much later. We mined him for details. ¢They say the Nolichucky¢s gonna run red tonight,¢ he said. ¢Ah,¢ said Linux. ¢But with whose blood?¢Stilts had told us that the GoLightGoEasiers were only about fifteen minutes behind us; since we were traveling at my lightning pace, it seemed obvious that they¢d overtake us before we made it into Erwin. We did not want this. So we made the obvious and natural decision to dive into the bushes off the trail and lie down, waiting for the others to pass by. We¢d maintain our position of advantage.¢Lying on the ground is fun!¢ Linux whispered loudly.He was right. It was. Gypsy had a streak of dirt on her cheek like camo. Pacman and Linux ¢ more, I think, to amuse themselves than for any legitimate subterfuge signaling purposes, since they were all of fifteen feet apart from each other ¢ traded bird whistles and coded hand gestures that reminded me of the elaborate catcher¢s signals Tom Hanks and Geena Davis make in ¢A League of Their Own.¢ At every rustle of branches from down the trail, we¢d all shut up and flatten ourselves into the leaves in an endeavor that seemed, somehow, at once ludicrous and sublime.Then came Ranger¢s unmistakable twang, sailing out over the bushes: ¢¢¦And I said to myself, did Frances MISS the two-hundred mile mark? Cause¢¦¢ And we saw them all walk by. Satisfied, we waited a few more minutes, and then emerged, dusted the leaves off each other, and headed down into town. We could see them, the whole group of them, clustered outside on Uncle Johnny¢s porch. We swaggered towards them, with a sort of cowboy-showdown air, but everyone started laughing, which kind of cut the tension, if you follow. ¢How the hell,¢ said Free, ¢did we get ahead of you?¢ ¢Hid in the bushes,¢ I said airily. ¢Waited for you to pass.¢ ¢When?¢ said Andy. ¢Where was it?¢I cleared my throat. ¢I¢m trying to channel the muse here,¢ I said. ¢Tell me if I get this right: ¢And I said to myself, did Frances MISS the two-hundred mile mark?¢¢ Ranger started laughing. ¢Oh, man,¢ said Cuppa Joe.Nick and Dave were out there, too. ¢Did you go past the shelter last night in the rain?¢ Nick asked. ¢Yeah,¢ I said. ¢Someone was flashing a light, too. We had to duck. Very close call.¢ ¢That was us!¢ said Dave. ¢We were signaling you last night, you idiots! We were saying hello!¢Uncle Johnny¢s and Miss Janet¢s were both full, so we headed down the street to the Holiday Inn Express, where the five of us got a room, dropped our stuff off, and then hitched a ride into town to hit the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet at Pizza Plus. I hadn¢t eaten anything yet that day and I was hungry. So while Linux and Pacman played ¢Don¢t Stop Believing¢ on repeat on the jukebox, I proceeded to eat an enormous plate of salad, two large glasses of lemonade, four breadsticks, eight slices of pizza, and four cinnamon dessert sticks. O fallen vegan. And then I went out and collapsed into the grass on the side of the road, clutched my stomach, and thought I was going to die. No human should eat that much cheese at once. Ever.Incidentally, my own eating exploits paled in comparison to those of my companions ¢ Nick, Dave, Linux, and Pacman had a pizza-eating contest so far out of my league I didn¢t even bother competing. Linux won: he ate thirty-six slices. Granted, they were small slices. But still.Anyway, presently I was able to rouse myself from my roadside coma, and it¢s as well that I did ¢ though the morning had dawned sunny, the temperature was dropping rapidly, and it was beginning to snow, and supposedly a nasty storm was on the way. So after a detour to the post office and Miss Janet¢s to pick up maildrops, I headed back to the hotel and spent a lovely evening in the hot tub with the Gypsy Sisters and Linux and Pacman and Nick and Dave and Swamp Thing and Curly and Mike¢s Hard Lemonade and idle conversation about Finnish grammar, and then stayed up till all hours talking nonsense with Nick and Dave and Linux and Pacman in the laundry room.