Date: 2015-07-03
From: Kent, CT

To: Home!
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: moderate rain

Yesterday, as I was hiking, I was devising a slackpacking plan. I figured that I could get my car, drive myself to where dad had picked me up in Kent in the morning, and hike for a few hours. Then, mom or Dan could pick me up in the afternoon.I don't know why I was itching so much to keep going when home provides such an excellent opportunity to enjoy things I miss. I don't know if it is because I am just so used to the hike, or if I felt some unconscious pressure to stay with my bubble. But I planned to hike through the weekend as much as I could.But as I was climbing a particularly tiring hill, my feet were hurting quite a bit. My knees were aching and unwilling to bend properly. My whole body just felt so weak and tired. I started thinking about how nice it would be to NOT hike for a while. And it hit me. Like a sack of Pennsylvania rocks.Mom and Dan wouldn't have to work today. It's a holiday weekend!WE COULD GO KAYAKING. Why should I hike if I could spend time with my favorite people?! I could rest my feet and knees and reintroduce my t-rex arms to a wider range of motion! It seemed like a stellar plan to me.And honestly, I think I was just looking for an excuse. I am starting to burn out, and I know it. I hate taking so much time off, and I know that I will soon be anxious to return to the trail (while at the same time, it will be nearly impossible to readjust after time at home). Ideally, I wouldn't want to take more than two days off. But with the picnic and all that has to be done to prepare for it, I'll be lucky if I get much rest at all.I do know that I need it. I have been feeling terrible lately. My body has had it. I keep overeating in hopes of finding more energy but at this point I think I really need like eight days straight of uninterrupted sleep.So this morning, I got out of my cozy bed after a restless night (sleeping inside just feels weird now... I just can't seem to sleep as well with the stagnant air around me). I vacuumed my shamefully messy car, which will probably just be horribly dirty again after I shuttle hiker friends around on Sunday and Monday.And then we went kayaking. Hiking, biking, kayaking... There is just something so wonderful about being outside. The water was so peaceful and relaxing as I glided along in my beautiful blue boat, talking to mom and Dan about the picnic, Jeralyn's wedding, summiting Katahdin, forgiveness and forgetting...It was very enjoyable. Then we stopped at the deli where I used to work for a sandwich. The owner, my old boss, who was one of the most patient teachers I have ever had, gave me a hug and told me to send him a postcard when I reach Katahdin. I look forward to doing so.Next was picnic shopping! Let me just say: before I was worried about having enough food to feed hungry hikers. Now I am worried about having enough hikers to eat all this food. Dan, mom and I (but mostly Dan) all chipped in to buy hot dogs, hamburgers (and veggie burgers for Chris, of course), and snacks for what may be my favorite party ever.The last of the evening was spent visiting Aviary and Jarad's new house. It is weird to remember that there may be a house in my future someday. In a few months I will live inside again, and Gertrude will be a relic of my thru-hiker past, only to be broken out of storage when I have time for backpacking trips. My way of life will just become a hobby.The trail is so different from "real life", and the reality of this is a little hard to face. When I return home now, I feel overwhelmed by the amount of STUFF that surrounds me. I have clothes from high school still cluttering up my room. I have so much useless stuff, just junk without a purpose. Part of me just wants to throw everything away. Another part of me is too sentimental.And then I have to realize that there is a huge disconnect the lifestyle of the trail and the rest of the world. On the trail, for the most part, people are patient. They have, to a certain extent, the luxury of time. And random acts of kindness are commonplace. Almost everyone is willing to pitch in to help someone else. I can't tell you how many times I have seen a hiker share fuel, or food, or offer to get water for someone else (since they are going to the spring anyway). That's not even counting the everyday people and trail angels who proffer gifts of rides, fruit, and endless acts of kindness.Today, we went to the dollar store to pick up hand sanitizer for the picnic. It was busy. Very busy. The line to checkout was long, and growing longer. Only one poor girl was working the checkout.And then the complaining started. Nearly everyone in that line had something to say. Was there REALLY only one register open? Was this the line?! Why was it taking so long? We shouldn't have to wait this long.And on and on and on... you would have thought they were being made to stand on hot coals while they waited for the bar codes of their would-be purchases to be scanned."You're going to have a riot on your hands." someone said at one point.My heart sank and my faith in humanity plummeted.FOR GOODNESS SAKES, AMERICA. RELAX.I know I am a bit of a hypocrite again with this one, because I often really don't have any patience at all. But jeez, it's a line at the dollar store. So you have to wait ten minutes to buy your Cracker Jacks. The poor girl at the register was loudly apologizing to everyone. It wasn't her fault that she was swarmed by fifty people doing their pre-holiday shopping. I felt so bad for her.Has it really come to the point that we can't wait in line for ten minutes? If it bothers you that much, put your cheap junk food and plastic crap back on the shelf and buy it somewhere else. The trail puts things in perspective. That was one of the reasons I chose to hike. I really, really, REALLY, hope that I can manage to hang onto the kindness and patience that trail life has been helping to instill in me.So today, real life clashed with trail life. On the trail, I am always busy. I am always hiking, eating, cooking, throwing ropes at trees, and talking to other people out hiking (whether it be a day hike or a thru). If I'm not doing something, I'm sleeping.But the business of the hike is different from the business of the lives of most Americans, who are in a rush to get back in their cars and do the rest of their errands, or get home to make dinner or watch TV.I walked out of the dollar store feeling sad. I wish real life was more like trail life. I wish that people were more patient and kind, everywhere, every day.But it's not.At least I have an amazing group of friends and family to throw amazing trail magic picnics for total strangers, right?! The magic spreads a little.I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that so many people I love are willing to pitch in and help me with my weird picnic dream. It will be GREAT.