Date: 2007-07-02
From: Port Clinton, PA

To: Windsor Furnace Shelter
Miles today: 6.1
Weather: overcast clouds

My time off the trail at the Bears Den Hostel has been very good to and for me. I am once again ready for the trail and all it has to offer, the good and the bad, but mostly the good, the discomfort and the joy, but mostly the joy, the solitude and the camaraderie, but mostly the camaraderie, the chance to again be with the thru-hikers I now treasure as my own. My spirit has been refreshed, my hope uplifted, my enthusiasm rekindled, my desire restored, my motivation back to where it was when I first began, if not more so. When I got off the trail three weeks ago, the daily mileage was getting to be drudgery, the mental component of the undertaking starting to take its toll. I want to love being on the trail just like I did for the initial weeks, not feel like I have to finish just for the sake of doing so, not just because I told people and myself I would, not solely because I follow through on my commitments, but because it is truly my heart's desire to hike this trail. I needed to know that this is where I really want to be, and three weeks away proved to me just that. Many feared I wouldn't get back on, that my adventure had come to an end, and to them I responded, "but I still have 1000 miles remaining." I never seriously contemplated quitting, partly because it's not in my nature, but mostly because I have fallen in love with the thru-hiker community, bearded and stinky, and I couldn't imagine being with any others at this point of time in my life, for there is nowhere I would rather be than surrounded by such kindred spirits. Even on our worst days, we are free to be who we really are, who we are meant to be, equal in standing, reliable and dependable without even knowing each others' first names, people I would trust with my life after only a few hours. It is difficult to put into words, aptly describe the bond we share, for it is so unlike what we have come to expect in our normal everyday existence back in the real world. Experiencing the culture of the AT, being a part of this community, has restored my faith in humankind and makes me long to be back on the trail. Not that I wasn't a part of the trail community while working at the Bears Den, for I very much still was. The best part of my daily tasks was welcoming the hikers each evening, hopefully offering them a warm and caring environment like I found when I first passed through the Bears Den. It was exciting to see friends I haven't seen for months along the trail, and meet new ones as well.   And boy did I clean! The Bears Den is known as the cleanest hostel along the trail, and I quickly realized that it takes hard work each and every day to keep it that way. It's funny, but gratifying, how dirty hikers so appreciate a clean place to stay for the night; although we will sleep just about anywhere, there's something special about a soft bed and fluffy towel, making us feel extra loved and cared for, that even when we arrive smelly and hungry, we are still treasured for who we are underneath all of the grime. Mentally, I am once again in the right frame of mind, ready to hike my remaining miles stronger than a few weeks ago, with greater resolve and determination, prepared to go the distance all the way to Maine. It's still not going to be easy, but I'm now in a better place. Thank you Queen Diva, Hopeful, and all who make the Bears Den an inspiring and encouraging haven. I owe you.miles remaining 965