Date: 2003-10-04
From: Full Goose Shelter

To: Mahoosuc Notch Trail
Miles today: 1.5

I woke up toasty warm this morning...there's certainly something to be said for breathing hot air into a small tent space. I didn't sleep well last night. I know I was restless due to the decision I've made. There was a pretty wild wind whipping at the tent, and the sky looked overcast. I got dressed for the day...I'm quite the fashion maven now...sports top, short sleeve top, fleece jacket, rain jacket, gloves, fleece earflap hat, kilt, rain pants and gaiters. Not sure what sort of fashion statement I'm making, but I'm stating it loud and clear! I went to the shelter, and the lovely day hikers brewed some coffee for me, which I had before I ate breakfast. We talked with them for awhile...they were cutting their trip short due to the weather. It looked as if the sky would open up any minute...and it did just that as we were finishing our packing. I felt as though the weather suited my mood...my lack of sleep made me feel very foggy, and knowing where I was headed to!day, I was also feeling quite weepy. Not the best of combinations to hike downhill over lots of rocks. I had to stop on several occasions to wipe my eyes so I could see to go over a rocky part. At one point, directly after I made the comment "this isn't so bad", I bashed my kneecap on a rock. I laid there for a few moments while I waited for the pain to subside. It really wasn't that bad, though...very few rock scrambles, more rock steps. A kinder, gentler descent, if you will. Too soon, and yet not soon enough, the ground leveled out and I knew that the blue blazed trail we were going to be taking was coming soon. We arrived at the trail junction...to the right, the white blazes continued on through Mahoosuc Notch...to the left, blue blazes led out, away from the Trail. I felt as if my heart was breaking. I leaned hard on my poles, stood there at the crossing and sobbed. I think the only other time I've felt this way was when I had to put my sweet fat-cat, Isaac!, to sleep. I knew that the decision I was making was the right one, but it didn't make it any easier. To me, the Trail has become a loved one...it has brought me pain and frustrated me to no end, but it has also brought me deep peace and incredible joy. I know I will still be out here for another week or so, but I feel as if I've put my dream, at least in part, to sleep. I took my pack off, grabbed my poles and went out to the beginning of the Notch...even from this vantage point, I could see how difficult it would be. I was glad I wouldn't be traversing it in the rain that was pouring down on us right now. I went back to the trail junction, still a crying mess. I asked Big Bird if he was ready; he said he was, but did I need a hug? I said I did, and we just stood, hugging and crying for a couple of minutes. We heard hikers coming from the same direction we'd come from, and I assumed it was the day hikers we'd camped with. These two ultra-light backpackers came breezing around the corner, ready to take on the Notch...I could tell they weren't thru-hiking. They asked if we were going through the Notch, and we said we weren't. They clearly had no clue what we were going through right then. It was time to go. We put our packs back on and started down the blue blazed trail. It was a nice, easy hike of 2.5 miles, and we were able to ma!ke good time on it. We got to the road to discover it was a hard-packed gravel type...not sure how much traffic it would yield. We sat in the rain at the roadside and ate. I thought about just sitting there till our camping buddies showed up...we had seen their cars in a small parking area. I laid on my back and let the rain wash over me. Big Bird told me I couldn't just stay there like that, my face and hair would get wet. I pointed out the obvious, my face and hair, and everything else on me, was already wet. But I agreed, we couldn't stay, we'd get cold very soon. We looked at the map. According to it, the road led to a dead end in the direction of Maine, and Berlin, NH in the other direction. Much as we didn't want to go there, we headed toward NH. About a half mile down the road, a couple of pickups pulled up behind us. I stuck my thumb out, and the first one pulled over. He said he could give us a ride, but we'd have to sit in the back. We were fine with !that, but then the driver of the second one, the first guy's Dad, saidhe could give us a ride. His truck bed had a cap on it, so it was definitely a better spot. We shared it with his dog, who was sniffing our packs up and down. The men and a couple of grand/sons had been out rabbit hunting, but hadn't gotten anything. The gentleman was going to drop us off at the Big Apple convenience store, but when he asked us where we'd come from and what our plans were, he told us he could bring us to Gorham. That's right, after all this, I'm back in Gorham. We couldn't go back to the Barn, though, so we got a room at one of the motels. We took hot showers, drank a few beers and went for dinner at the chinese buffet. I made some phone calls...Grapenut is picking us up here tomorrow, then we'll go get Chafe Master J in Andover and head up to Monson. It's been a long day...