Date: 2006-05-08
From: Pearisburg VA

To: Pearisburg VA
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: light rain

Portrait from hiking life:I'm sitting at a wet picnic table beside the closed Bahama Sno-Shack in Pearisburg, VA. I'm wearing rain pants, my only pants and a frayed sweater full of holes and scorch marks. I'm waiting for the Pizza Hut all you can eat buffet to open. I've already been to the post office where two expected boxes forwarded from other towns have not arrived. I stopped at Food Lion for five days worth of breakfasts. I stopped at Dollar General for a few Lipton dinner sides and cans of tuna salad. I stopped at Good Will to pick up a replacement fleece hat. The single hat in the store was probably previously worn by a junior high girl with a really big head. Now it's mine. I'm looking at the cloud cover on the rideline I'll be hiking tomorrow, even though I'm not fond of zero days or town visits.Just now a couple in a Caddy just drove by, asked a few questions and then offered me $10 so I can eat. I graciously turned them down. Yes, it's the old hiker/vagrant thing. Is he one, the other, or both? Other hikers tell stories of being taken houme for meals and beds, having checks picked up in restaurants, free showers at truck stops. One even had a dentist replace a broken crown on the house. Me, I get a ten dollar bill offered out a car window.Even though I don't like taking them, I need this day off. We've all been learning all along that if you get to Virginia you're in the physical condition you need to finish the trail. The bigger challenges now are mental. True in my case. I'm not questioning my motives or my hike. However, I've been feeling low and very negative and carry frustrations with me. I wrestle with foolish worries for big parts of each hiking day. it's distracting from my focus and diminishing my love of the hike. I need a day to calm down. I also need some sleep. Previously all my tension and exhaustion has been only physical. Now it's both physical and mental and I need a rest to get back on track.Day's highlight: I just talked to Mark and he gave the news from Pennsylvania. The baby was born and he and Hope are doing fine. Everyone there is excited. Haley called home with the news while crying tears of happiness. (She is six.) End of day: My zero is successful. I took a long nap after returning from errands. I woke with a throbbing headache from stress and treating myself poorly. After ibuprofen, eating decent food, focusing on hike preparations and having a good conversation, I have returned to myself. I'm ready and looking forward to the trail. Petty whines, complaints, animosities and worries are at bay. Energizer Bunny, a woman in her 60s from PA came in this afternoon with two friends who will hike with her for a month. When they walked through the door they made my head pound even harder. After napping and pulling myself together I began chatting with them. Energizer was reading aloud to her friend Evelyn from her journal. I recognized common events and joined in. I started to feel part of the whole again while talking to some one who knows what it's like here and can share feeling of fears, past successes and failures. Granted everone out here is part of the common experience, but my guard was down, any cynicism at rest. Again, part of the whole experience is to engage with people, meet them where they're at, to listen and acknowledge and not force your opinions or point of view. This is the way to learn out here. In my recent grey mood, I haven't been able to do this. I've asserted my attitudes and complaints to purposely draw attention and sway the mood. Rhythm is so important here where everyone is a stranger yet part of a whole. Once calm and clearheaded I went out to look up at the ridge, tomorrow's challenge. It's still cloud covered and will be all week. Rain is coming back. But I wasn't worried about that. Instead I joined Hobbit as he motioned silently. He was watching a mother and two baby rabbits. He explained her protective behavior and tested a few of her boundaries. He's respectful even with timid animals I wouldn't look twice at when I saw them on the lawn. He's serene and helped me to secure my calm.Earlier in the evening Evelyn asked if Hobbit and I were hiking together and how long we'd been friends. She didn't quite get it when she found out we'd only known each other for a couple of days. The bunny explained to her that that's just the way things are, that she'd find out for herself when they started hiking tomorrow. She'll learn the way things are. I know the way things are and will join in again in the morning.