Date: 2006-10-02
To: Buffalo, NY
Miles today: 0.0

2175.0 Miles Down, 0.0 to GoI¢d be walking right now. Or perhaps I would have taken it easy this morning and would just now be unzipping my sleeping bag. I¢d be wrapped in the typical sounds of morning: stoves lighting up, packs being stuffed, hikers chatting in hushed voices, all to a backdrop of birds praising the start of a new day. All of us worshipping the outdoors in our own way. But I¢m no longer in the woods. I¢m done. I¢m far from Maine, 12.5 hours by car. 12.5 hours. That would have gotten me between 25 and 35 miles on foot. But no, we traveled 700. 700 miles. We crossed under the AT while on the Mass Pike. I remember standing on that overpass months ago, thinking I was probably finally north of Buffalo. And all the walking I¢ve done since then was undone in a half day of driving. And back in Buffalo. I¢m sitting on a manufactured chair in a warm apartment listening to music and the hum of a never-ending chain of cars passing on Elmwood. I¢m typing on a computer, rather than scribbling in my small notebook and rubbing my hands periodically to keep them warm. I¢m surrounded by way more belongings than I could ever possibly carry on my back. Today is a day to decompress a bit (we just got back late last night) and tomorrow the rat race begins. I need to start making money again ASAP. Rent, loan payments, etc. are all lying at my doorstep, reminding me that life is far from free. Argh...When asked in recent weeks how I felt about my AT thru-hike reaching its zenith and conclusion, I had to respond with ambivalence. Yes, I missed Amy, family, friends and Buffalo, but I¢d grown so accustomed to a VERY slow-paced lifestyle devoid of myriad extraneous responsibilities poking me in the ribs from every direction. I knew with my trip¢s end the world would speed up quite quickly, forcing me to hold on tight lest I be thrown off. And now here I am, grasping for stable foot and hand holds to steady myself against the violent rotation of our modern world. Cultural adjustment. That¢s what this is. No, I didn¢t go overseas, but I did immerse myself in a different society with different customs and even its own language (¢NOBO¢, ¢SOBO¢, ¢blue blaze¢, ¢pink blaze¢, ¢yogi¢, ¢nero¢ ¢ I challenge the non-thruhiker to translate any of these for me). I feel almost like I¢ve been ripped violently from the life I came to know over these past six months, thrust into the chaos I once knew, but have forgotten how to handle. Of course, this will pass. This environment that now seems so foreign will once again bring me joy and comfort. But it¢s not a fun process getting to that point. Yet I will get there. This entry is bigger than the disorientation I currently feel. I¢m done. I walked 2,175 miles from Springer Mountain, GA to Mt. Katahdin, ME, climbed and descended enough elevation to go up and down Mt. Everest 16 times. I¢ve thru-hiked the AT. I can¢t begin to articulate how proud I am to say that. Nor can I truly express what the effort entailed. Let¢s kick some ballistics:2,175 miles. 14 states. 195 days. 135 hiking days. 60 zero days. An average of 11.2 miles per day, 16.1 miles per actual hiking day. 675,000 calories. 270 cups of gorp. 135 energy bars. 135 protein bars. 135 dehydrated dinners. 11 jars of peanut butter. 62 blocks of cheese. 45 boxes of crackers. 4 bags of tortillas. 112 liters of gatorade. 540 little debbie snacks, snickers, and snack pies. 9 bags of reese¢s peanut butter cups. NO RAMEN. 6 spoons. 2 stoves. 2 ground pads. 7 journals. 17 reading books. 11 guidebooks. 21 sets of maps. 7 pairs of socks. 3 pairs of boots. 2 shirts. 1 pair of repeatedly sown up shorts. 4 pair of underwear. 2 knee braces. 9 tubes of travel toothpaste. 195 vitamins. 4 trekking pole tips. 4 bears. 1 bull moose. 1 bald eagle. 1 beaver. 21 beaver dams. 9 loons. 3 barred owls and countless other birds. Countless deer, grouse, chipmunks, mice, shrews and squirrels. 5 unidentified pairs of eyes at night. 1,000,000,000 comments and questions about my bear canister. 21 mail drops. Hundreds of dollars in phone cards. 9 AAA batteries. 8 AA alkaline batteries. 4 AA lithium batteries. 1 bottle of Gold Bond. 3 water bladders. 2 tubes of Seam Sealer. More gallons of ice cream than I care to remember. 706 photos.So those are some of the numbers, but they certainly can¢t paint the whole picture. Let me try to fill in some of the gaps. I last wrote from the shelter at Abol Bridge on Thursday, September 28. Sleep Ninja, Fire, Low Gear and I spent the night there with a campfire, marshmallows and much good conversation, all of us trying to cling to the remainder of our expedition. The following day it rained and rained and rained. We all sat around the shelter for hours hoping it would let up. It didn¢t, haha! Sleep Ninja and Fire left out first, followed by Low Gear and I a few hours later. Our destination: Katahdin Stream Campground, our last stop before hitting that peak we¢ve dreamed about for months, a mere 5.2 miles from its summit. It was only 9.9 miles to Katahdin Stream, but it felt like 30. I just wanted to be there, to look upon Katahdin and feel victory at my fingertips. Not to mention Amy, my mom and Rince were meeting me at Katahdin Stream and I couldn¢t wait to see them. On the other hand, I didn¢t quite want to get there; I didn¢t want be so close to finishing. The whole stretch from Abol Bridge to Katahdin Stream followed the Penobscot River and Nesowadpehunk stream, the trail pushing upstream. Against the current I made my way north, pulling into Katahdin Stream Campground a little after 4pm. Fire and Sleep Ninja had already met Fire¢s dad there and headed out to other accommodations for the night. Link, Jeannie, Low Gear and I all crowded onto the screen porch of the ranger station, our soaking wet packs dripping all over the floor. There we signed our last register and signed in with the ranger, who gave us an application for the 2,000 Miler patch and certificate, each act reminding me that the end was near. Shortly after registering, Amy, my mom and Rince arrived, Amy running ahead of them to give me a hug and kiss. She looked very beautiful, although I¢m sure she couldn¢t say the same about me. She did give me a long hug, but also remarked that I smelled pretty rank, haha! On the way back to the motel my mom even had the window down because of my stench! The next morning was it. The weather had been bad for days and I heard the ranger had closed the trails on Mt. Katahdin the past four days. However, our day (Saturday) had the best forecast the mountain had seen in a week and would see for another. We left from the motel at 5:15am, and got to Katahdin Stream around 6:30am. We scared up a huge bull moose on the park road in the process, chasing it for a good five minutes! Finally I got to see a moose! Rince dropped Amy, my mom and I off at the campground and we hit the trail. The first mile of the 5.2 was relatively easy and we killed it in no time. It was the next 3 miles that were the toughest though. The grade became quite steep and the rocks got bigger and bigger. By the time we got to tree line (a little more than half-way up), boulder scrambling was the name of the game. My mom was simply too short to climb some of these obstacles, so made the wise decision to turn back. I know she was disappointed about not making it to the top, but she made it more than half-way up the mountain and through a majority of the steep stuff ¢ kudos to her! Amy continued on with me, a courageous move on her part since she¢s afraid of heights and some of this boulder scrambling was quite daunting. We took it slow, ducking behind boulders periodically to find refuge from the whipping cold wind. Soon we noticed frost on the alpine vegetation; then we noticed snow on the ground; a little further up we noticed it was actually snowing! The last 1.5 mile of the trail up is called the Table Land; the trail levels out significantly, putting an end to the boulder scrambling and allowing you to get your first glimpse of the summit. The mountain was packed this day with hundreds of people coming up, going down, and chilling out here and there. When we got to the Table Lands there were throngs of folks just hanging out, a bit of a culture shock for me having just came out of the 100 Mile Wilderness! It was along the Table Lands that we saw Low Gear, Link, Jeannie, Fire, Sleep Ninja, Natty Boh and Compost; they had all passed us on the way up and were now heading down. Amy and I stopped and chatted with each of them, offering congratulations and exchanging goodbyes and contact info. I knew it would be awhile before I¢d see any of those faces again, if ever. But I hadn¢t time to think of that at the moment ¢ the summit beckoned. Amy and I continued our pilgrimage, the summit calling to us the whole time. About a quarter mile from the top I made out the summit sign for the first time. That was it, I couldn¢t hold back any longer. I booked the rest of the way, heading straight for the sign. Then I was there, clinging to it, tears streaming down my face, staring out over the horizon, imagining I could see the whole excursion replaying itself on that big screen. I turned around and there was Amy. I ran over and collapsed in her arms. That hug lasted a long time and she just kept whispering ¢I¢m so proud of you.¢ There were dozens of people on the summit at this point, but it mattered not. It seemed we were the only two up there, that this was our mountain. But it was much more than a mountain. Those hurried steps I took to get those last few hundred yards to the sign were the last of millions I¢d taken since setting out from Springer Mountain. Katahdin was the culmination of a six month adventure, full of pain, frustration, boredom, and of course a hell of a lot of fun. Those hurried steps were the last. I had thru-hiked, something thousands attempt every year but a small percentage achieve, something that sets me apart from others. Eventually my tears gave way to elation, allowing me to sit back and bask in the glory of the moment.After some summit photos and a celebratory snack, my adrenaline rush started to wear off and I realized just how cold it was up there. We started to make our way down the mountain, a victory lap of sorts seeing as how the trail ends up top. Once off the Table Lands the real task began. Amy had been terrified coming up that 1.5 mile from tree line, but that fear was nothing compared to what she felt coming down. She froze up on a number of occasions, but luckily two other guys, Scott and Phil, assisted me in helping her down. Once below tree line she was fine and we all had a good laugh of it. Well, Amy wasn¢t exactly laughing but she was tolerant of us laughing, haha! Down and down we went until we saw the familiar figures of Rince and my mom waiting at the trailhead for us. The hike took us just under 11 hours round trip, an impressive feat considering Amy¢s fear of heights. We took some photos at the trailhead and that was it. I was done. We went back to the motel, showered up and went out to eat. We made it an early night since we were all exhausted. Hit the road the next morning and arrived in Buffalo late last night. So here I am, back in the ¢real¢ world. As I said, at the moment it feels as though the world is spinning out of control below my feet, but I¢ll acclimate with time. I haven¢t yet spoken with much of anyone since being home, but I¢m prepared for the onslaught of typical questions (¢Where did you sleep?¢ ¢What did you eat?¢ ¢How many miles did you walk a day?¢ ¢Did you see any bears?¢ etc, etc, etc) The answers to these questions will delineate a rough sketch of what my trip was, but they can¢t come close to articulating what my trip really was. When I first decided some ten years ago I wanted to hike the AT it was because I was fascinated by the idea of a footpath stretching 2,175 miles from Georgia to Maine. My reasons for wanting to thru-hike didn¢t evolve much over the years. Simply put, I liked backpacking and was always game for a good challenge - the AT was there, so why not? However, once my thru-hike began the reasons to see it through grew exponentially. For the first time in my life I learned to truly stop and smell the roses, to slow down and let my surroundings wash over me and leave a lasting impression. The Appalachian Mountains cover some of the most beautiful terrain I have ever seen, smelled, felt, heard and tasted. However, I didn¢t thru-hike simply for the scenery. Internally, I learned to pay attention to the things I never had time for in the past, the subtle things my body and mind were whispering to me. I had the time to ponder the things that would have previously gone on the back burner or that had been on the back burner for years. I better learned who I am and what makes me happy and how to keep those things at the forefront of my lifestyle. I had the time to think about my future and where I¢m going, how I can maximize my own happiness and the happiness of those around me. When I set out from Georgia I wasn¢t looking for a therapeutic and spiritual experience, but I got one nonetheless. Walking from Georgia to Maine, up and over mountains, across streams and rivers, through bogs and swamps was certainly one of the hardest things I¢ve ever done, but it was also one of the easiest. My thru-hike was definitely a trial, but at the same time it was rest and relaxation. It was the kind of experience that can only make you a better person. I¢ve come back to the ¢real¢ world a stronger, wiser, more mature Dan Cross. Or should I say Dan ¢Bear Can¢ Cross?Bear Can PS - Many thanks to all of you that helped me out along the way or simply took interest in my hike. You know who you are Special thanks to my family and friends, especially Amy and Jim (Bear Can Support Team, haha!), and of course my mom, dad and Rince. You all mean the world to me!