Date: 2004-05-27
From: Harpers Ferry, WV

To: Harpers Ferry, WV
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: scattered clouds

i wanted to relax the whole day but i had a few chores to do since i did some planning last night. planning is where i look in the wingfoot book and see how far i might walk in a day and how many days of food i will carry between resupply points. i needed to buy food for a drop i'm going to give myself in port clinton. i took the bus to super-walmart at 8am and thought i was in shopping disneyland. wow, these things are huge! i bought my resupply food and a new radio that i saw a hiker wearing. it is a sony that takes 1 aaa, has am/fm/tv/weather digital tuner, and only weighs 3.3 oz with the battery. sweet!after disney-mart, i went across the highway to the barber shop where i got my beard trimmed. it was getting bushy and starting to curl near the ears. the guy did an awesome job. it looks great.on my homeward hitch, a past thru hiker named gonzo gave me ride. he had miss janet's old van! i got to sign my trail name to the ceiling among all the hikers he's given rides to. gonzo let me know where he was going to be during the day and to call on him if i needed another ride.hikers are great people.after a trip to the p.o. (post office), i got lunch, a black rasberry milkshake (hoo-yeah), and went to the outfitter. my 3 liter nalgene canteen had sprung a leak. they didn't carry those so i got an MSR 4 liter drom-lite bag instead. i'll face-off with nalgene on another day to replace their bag.i took a nap for an hour then called patty from the Vywamus Foundation. she is one of my teachers with this group. i needed to get some clarity on why my knees keep acting up when i hike with people.what i learned is that when i am around other people i don't express what i want in the moment and i am ashamed of my flow if it is different from other's flow. said another way, i ignore my feeling to stop for a sec, or to adjust something, or to just take a break because i don't want to inconvenience the other people i am hiking with. i realized i'm confusing my choice to stop or do something different with their choice to do whatever they want. my choice doesn't make them stop with me or not, but i am thinking it does, which is incorrect.how do the knees fit in? well, there is a desire that i'm not expressing. something like, "i need to stop for a break, you can go on if you want." i'm repeatedly not saying this to those i hike with so my body is expressing it for me. knees can't speak so they are creating the situation where i can have my break. pain. if i expressed my desire for a break and took the breaks when i felt the urge to take them, i wouldn't need the knee pain. so the knee pain, in a way, gives me permission to take a break since i won't give it to myself under other circumstances.this is much like some people i know at travelers who work really long hours, need to take some time for themselves, keep pushing, and then get knocked on their butt for a week by a head-cold or flu. the desire for rest will manifest, like it or not.i have to be aware of what my flow is and then follow that. i also have to express what i need to express in the moment. i don't want the body to do the expression for me because it most likely will be in the form of pain - not what i want to experience on this journey. lastly, i need to chill on the schedule because i really value achievement and performance, which are carry-overs from my working world, and i can get really hung up on those things.