Date: 2013-03-18
To: Trailiversary
Miles today: 0.0

A year ago today I woke up in Dahlonega, Georgia, loaded my pack (let's be honest, Nick probably carried it out to the car) and went for the longest walk of my life. I remember day 1 of the trail like it was yesterday. I remember what kind of bagel I got from Dunkin Donuts on the way to Amicalola. I remember saying goodbye to Matt, Des and Nick. I remember taking those first steps and picking up a stone to carry along the way. I also remember how much climbing Amicalola sucked and how I summitted Springer in disbelief that hiking had suddenly become challenging. Then I remember the sinking feeling as I realized I would be without cell phone service that first lonely night. This trailiversary is about so much more than the AT for me because in the past year, so much change has taken place. The AT seems to have a way of peeling back the extra layers in our lives of things that we thought we had wanted and letting our true selves come out. After leaving the trail my Dad, DO IT announced to our family that he and my Mom would be splitting up. This seperation has changed the dynamics of our family more than I could have ever imagined possible. When people assume that divorce is easy and that it happens all the time, they are so incredibly wrong. Divorce is a terrible, messy and heart wrenching thing. It absolutely rocked my family and altered all of our lives in some way. DO IT is doing well now. He moved into a new house and hung about 1500 random pictures on the walls. He has old gallon size water bottles hanging from his ceiling beams that act as punching bags. Its been really fun to watch him express his own identity in whatever way he and he alone choses. For me, there have been many changes as well. Nick and I have left the city and moved about an hour North to a little water oriented community at the top of the bay. We have chosen not to let the internet or teevee inside of our new home and are trying to live a much simpler life. I went back to work at my old job but got a new cubicle that had no trees out the window. I looked out at vacant row homes every day. As the season started to change to Fall I realized that I was missing something. Having spent the Spring season change in the woods, I had learned to appreciate how incredibly exciting it is to actually play witness to something so spectacular. And so I found a new job, one that lets me spend every single day appreciating the natural world around me. Its only temporary and I'll have to look for new work soon but I know that if I'm on the right path, then it will flow smoothly. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about the trail. Some days I feel sad about leaving it, those are difficult days. Other days, like today I'm simply happy to have spent the day thinking about it. Some of my fondest trail memories are of the people, Mouse, Cackles, Train, The Twisted Sisters, Ys Guy, "Nightmare", Squatch, the entire Wolf Pack. Everyone who told me that the people I met along the way would shape the experience, you were absolutely right. I still look for "trail people" in every day life and am thrilled when I run into them and can have some trail talk. I've found that I miss the way that the mountains smell in the morning and the way that I feel after a long day of walking as I throw my pack off (yes literally throw) and strech for the first time. I miss the pain in my hips from where my straps dug into my skin and the pain in my feet as I peel my socks off. Sometimes it seems like the whole thing never happened, like it was all just a dream I had or a book I read. I've been thinking a lot about the hikers setting off to leave for this years hiking season and I am excited for them. They are about to embark on the greatest adventure of their lives. They will learn remarkable things about themselves and the people that they are hiking with. But the lessons won't all come in between those beautiful white blazes. The real transformation will occur after the trail, when they return to their regaular lives and decide how to apply what they just experienced, how to make it all make sense for them. So Class of 2013, I wish well. Take your time, get to know eachother and happy hiking.