Date: 2004-06-02
From: Glasgow

To: Glasgow
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: scattered clouds

06/02/04It's 8 PM and I just stepped out of a Baptist church. I walked out to the touch of light rain and I thought in my head "God, I don't need this now"...I was fighting a battle to trust that God has me in his arms and will provide all my needs. Still thinking (too much), I walked around the corner of the church and my jaw fell, my heart was touched, and I wept. In front of me, arching high into the sky, was a double rainbow: A sign of hope shining magnificently before me.Boo-boo and I awoke early and left the hotel room. Then the plan was to eat breakfast, drop in to the library at 10 AM, and shortly after, hike 18 miles...it didn't happen. The plan was fairly smooth up until the breakfast was complete and we headed to the library. Both of us were in the library when the clock struck 11 AM, which is when I went to call my Mom. I talked with her about my decision to completely stop drinking and my financial predicament. She told me about the kids causing stress at home and about the possibility of her getting a job. She told me I should come off the trail, but she meant it in love. I told her I thought I was where I should be, and that I wanted to wait until July before I take any actions. As with speaking to Carla 2 days earlier, I felt so happy to have contact with home, yet also more stress. In the end, I realized that God has answered every prayer I have given out here, and that he is big enough to handle everything. As I described the other day, my stress revolves around an unfinished house. As I shared with Boo-boo, I asked if he could help me. To my surprise, he aid if my friend continues to not fulfill his word, he would come off in July for a week to help. I would come off for a week as well and along with anyone I could find to help I would finish it. My hope is that my friend follows through, but I have no confidence in that. My friends reminded me that "It will all work out." Phillipians 4 talks about presenting all prayers and requests to God, and about being able to "do all things through Christ who strengthens me." With this in mind, I talked with Mad Scientist, Coyote, and Salt Lick. Salt Lick, Coyote, Boo-boo and I laid out a plan to catch up to our friends and joked loudly. Coyote and I rapped loudly in a country store...it was a riot. We finished our afternoon in the library. It was fun to drift away on the computer and joke with Boo-boo. The only sad thing was that I saw our friend Bum left the trail (read his journal), joining Apple Pie, Blaze, Little Bit, and others I have seen drop recently. They call this the Virginia Blues. People leave for one of 3 reasons: Emotions/boredom, physical injury, or money. I know the only reason I would leave is the 3rd reason...but I'm not stressing ?Come dimmer time, I did something almost unthinkable: I tried to catch a snake. The convenience store had a black snake in the back and the female workers were screaming. Without thinking, I grabbed my hiking pole and went to help, along with Boo-boo. We could not find it, though, and when I came back out my 3 friends were ready to leave to do 2 whole miles. I told them to go without me and that I would catch up later tonight or tomorrow, so that I could try to get ahold of my aforementioned friend once more. Before I could call, a girl started screaming again...the snake was back.This time I joined a local from Glasgow with a rake and we moved in. We pushed all the boxes off the top shelf in the back and my heart beat a million times a minute. Suddenly, he moved up the boards and the snake slithered out (I didn't jump or scream ?). We tried to bag it, but to our dismay it got away and we could not find it after that. Although we did not bag the snake, I was beaming at having had the confidence to try...I felt so manly.It was past 6, so I tried to call my friend, my Dad, and my sister; no one answered. Frustrated, I tried again 30 minutes later. Same reply. Finally, at 6:45 I decided to go to church to unwind and seek God. The church was near empty, but the discussion was nice. We jumped topic a lot, but 2 quotes stuck with me. The pastor asked: "If we won't stand for our convictions, why bother standing? Later he stated that "we will all mess up sometimes" and a cute old lady interrupted "Sometimes...I mess up all the time. Keeps me on my knees." This hit me. I want to be a man of conviction, but I want to always know how much I need grace and be ready to fall.Right now I'm going to try to hitch out of town, but it's getting dark. If I succeed, I'll night-hike 2 miles. If not, I'll be here again (wasting money.) No matter what happens, I'll try to relax. I'll close with a poem and some thoughts:Happy and carefree, lost on the trailNo thought of quitting, no chance to fail.Trusting God is easy when all is rightDays lost in nature, a future that's bright.But with troubles, I forget how I'm blessedI think far too much and get really stressed.But deep down I know in His arms I'm secureAnd when I'm stressed I should trust Him more. For He is everything that I'll ever needAnd all I can do is follow his lead.He'll hold me and love me as his ownAnd whatever happens I won't be alone.- It's hard to be serious in a town full of large, plastic dinosaurs. - Every person in town seems to play the lottery...maybe that is the answer to all money problems...or no.- I hope to be in Maryland in 15 days ?I hope I didn't stress out too much in this journal. On the trail tomorrow all will seem normal again ?Goodnight,Beatbox