Date: 2003-12-24
To: Go Big or Go Home...that is the question.
Miles today: 0.0

Continuing Ben¢s countdown, there now remains 38 days until the big hike begins. My final itinerary is complete, food drops researched, and I am putting the finishing touches on a five star trail menu that would leave even the crooked Martha Stewart green with envy. Hey, guess what I can do that Martha can¢t (drum roll please)¢¦.cook on an alcohol stove! HAHAHAAnd now comes the serious discussion¢¦.The past year has come and gone with rapid speed. Anticipation of hiking, which at one time seemed so distant, is now only days away. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to have learned of the trail, developed support to hike it, prepared for my travels with a great friend, and sustained the will to arrive at this exciting point. The credo shared by Ben and I for the past year has been ¢Go Big or Go Home.¢ The goal of thru-hiking ¢ Springer to Katahdin ¢ has been an important and motivating force, and the ultimate goal of our trip. I perceive the gargantuan effort required to hike the AT as a once in an immediate lifetime opportunity. Therefore, there is no reason to have the mentality of settling for anything less than 110%. A brief window of opportunity has opened in between school and career that is enabling Ben and I to take on this challenge. However, tackling this trail will still require that much be sacrificed. We¢ll be quitting a job that offers great career potential, we are postponing school for a semester, and leaving family and friends (to do something few of them can come to understand). For myself, ¢go big or go home¢ is simply more than an overused clich©, it is a statement of my commitment to hike the AT to the end in one effort, and a measure in which I balance everything I will be leaving for the dream I am following. It should be noted that unlike many of the grumblings read/heard from other hikers, I enjoy my job. I enjoy school. In general, I enjoy life as is. Hiking is the sweet icing on the cake. It has been the aforementioned activities that have allowed me to discover the AT, fund my upcoming exploit, and continue to inspire me to hike the trail. To turn my head in disgust at the ¢real world,¢ is to do a great disservice to so many who have influenced me.I am determined to see that the scale in which I balance ¢life as is¢ and the ¢Appalachian Trail¢ tips in my favor. That is, I can quit work and school, head out on the AT and quit the trail a week later. What then will I have gained? Nothing. I will return home with no job, missed semester of school, and endless pandering from friends on why I quit. The scale won¢t be balanced. Contrary to this, I head out on the trail, hike for a duration equal to a school semester or more, and leave the trail. I will break even, if not come out ahead. I had time to experience the trail, time to self-actualize away from everyday stresses, and accomplished something very few people do. Furthering this notion, I thru-hike (as planned) the scale will have overwhelmingly tipped in my favor and be overflowing with the fruits of my labor.Invariably, my idea of ¢Go Big or Go Home,¢ could be easily foiled prior to and along the trail. On the very first day, I could slip on ice and break my leg, or 1800 miles into the trek I could catch a gnarly case of crypto and the game is over. There are so many unforeseen opportunities for things to go wrong. However, this potential has not been and will never be a reason for not doing the trail. Although I will set foot on the trail with an inevitable degree of trepidation and uncertainty, this fear of the unknown will never be a deterring factor. It is the decision to abandon the activities of mainstream life, the unpredictability that lay ahead, and living up to the goal of ¢go big or go home¢ that rouses feelings of insecurity and exuberant joy. It is these very notions that have made all my previous hiking experiences so intensely meaningful. However, the plan of starting February 1, hiking with Ben, and ¢go big or go home¢ have fallen into the uncertain hands of fate.The start date, the hiking partner, the decision to leave ¢life as is¢ behind, in an attempt to ¢Go Big or Go Home,¢ all decisions that were once crystal clear have become shrouded by the dismal mists of the unknown, as a result of a recent injury to my achilles tendon.Before the trip has even begun, the scale has tipped in an unfavorable direction. I have been overwhelmed by the decisions I now have to make. The idea of two years of planning for the date of February 1, 2004, hiking in the winter, hiking with a great partner, are in jeopardy due to an injury that may take too long to heal. This adventure along the Appalachian Trail cannot and will not be ¢go out, get hurt, and return to nothing¢¢¦it will be ¢go big or go home,¢ but now I am not sure February 2004 will be the time.To be continued¢¦.