Date: 2004-07-14
From: Buena Vista Rd.

To: Caledonia State Park
Miles today: 16.8
Weather: light rain

The Unbearable Lightness of Zeroing   Here I am again with another extended leave of absence from The Trail in my hindsight. They say that hindsight is 20/20 so I'll tell you what I see now with my perfect vision;   It turns out that after a week and a half of downtime I still remember how to hike. Let's see if I still remember how to write.   The funny thing about hiking is, that given a long enough timeline, every thru-hiker becomes a 'good' hiker. If you spend every day in the woods hiking 10-20 miles, cooking campfood and setting up your tent/tarp it won't be long before you become very quick and efficient at all of these tasks; a 'good' hiker.   Zeroing works in the same way. Take my word for it - every day you spend in town makes everday spent off The Trail more enjoyable. So many hikers practice touch-and-go trips to town where they cram meals, laundry, resupply, showers and phonecalls into a hald-a-day. This is all fine and good if you have only 3 months to hike The Trail. I on the other hand have lately come to the realization that I'm in it for 6 months at least and might as well start acting like it.   So here are some pointers I can pass on to others of you out there who are not spending enough time off The Trail and are therefore not enjoying yourselves to the upmost. First and foremost, take your time in town. The first thing that you should do when entering any town is to seek out that restaraunt whose portions are the biggest (preferably buffet style) and gorge yourself. If you do this correctly it will be impossible for you to get anything done for the next couple of hours (excepting making a few trips to the toilet) and this is a good thing. If your going to do laundry you might want to give yourself at least half-a-day (I find that often times I have to do my laundry twice) and try to do it in such a way as you spend that time naked in the local laundromat. I also wouldn't want to spend any less than half-a-day in a library in front of a computer. It is best to do all your email writing, surfing, and catching up on current events at a liesurely pace on a lazy day so as not to overwhelm yourself with the news you find. Oh, and last but not least, don't resupply until you're sure you're leaving the same day. That way you can pack appropriately taking into consideration the meals you're going to eat before leaving town.   These are jsut general guidelines that I feel make stays off The Trail and in town that much more enjoyable. You do what you want but, like in all things, don't subscribe to any personnal philosophy until you've tried all possible alternatives. If you feel rushed or tired buy a case of beer and relax. If you meet someone interesting stay awhile and get to know them and if you don't feel like getting back on The Trail today, don't.   I know what you're thinking now that you've read this far (because its what comes to mind after writing the same). You want to know 'All of these guidelines lend themselves to staying longer and longer off The Trail. How do you know when its time to start hiking again?' To this I say 'don't worry' for regardless of your schedual or condition there is no time for worry.   Zeroing does not behave like a system of positive feedback. The thru-hiker is in no danger of staying longer and longer and, like a nuclear reactor running hotter and hotter and eventually reaching critical mass exploding, ending a thru-hike and scattering enough radioactive vibes through a hikers life to gaurantee at least a short bout of depression upon returning home. No, thru-hikes are not aborted in such ways. Zero days follow the economic idea of diminished returns.   Allow me to illustrate...this particular economic principal states that for every additional unit after the 1st one the user experiences less and less of a return. My favorite example involves candy bars. Eat 1 candy bar and its yummy and gives you energy. Eat a 2nd and its still yummy and you'll be able to hike for miles. Eat a 3rd and you might not enjoy that last bite but you'll be able to hike all day. Eat a 10th and not only will you not likely enjoy the 10th but you might not keep 1-9 down. And, instead of becoming a hiking machine you'll be a cat-hole digging machine and you'll probably never eat that particular brand of candy bar again. The point is that there is no difference between the 1st and the 10th candy bars except the 8 bars in between and the varying degrees of satisfaction.    Zero days are like this as well. The first day off just isn't enough. After 3 days you're likely rested and ready to head back into the woods. 5 days and there's nothing left to do in town. 7 and you hate the town you're in because you've spent too much money and time there. How many days did I just spend off The Trail? 13, so I'm still learning.   I find that if you listen to you're body, and not get too destructive with alcohol or restaraunt food, it will tell you when its time to go. This is where the 'unbearably light' part comes in (here and in Milan Kundara's novel of course which I would encourage everyone to read). You see the thru-hiker, if he hopes to be a thru-hiker, spends more time walking with his pack on than without it. Because of this your legs grow disproportionately strong to your body weight since they are used to carrying that plus 40lbs.   This being the case the legs of a thru-hiker behave in some strange ways. True, upon first entering a town often times I can barely hobble but after 3 days I'm walking on the Moon; able to leap whole city blocks in a single bound. After 5 days is when your legs decide that their burden is so unbearably light that they must get back underneath a 40lb. pack and they tell you so.   At this point in my vacation from The Trail I start to experience what I like to call the 'leg hicups'. This is a sort of generalized anxiety, especially present after large meals and in bed at night, in which your legs have so much energy that its actually painful not to move them. This is a terrible experience that I liken to hicups only because hicups are the next most obnoxious thing I can think of. Leg hicups are actually worse than regular hicups in that they make you the willing participant in your own discomfort. Hicups happen against your will so one is at the very least able to sit back like a martyr and ride them out. Leg hicups are the willing movement of your own legs because it hurts not to move them and capitulation to the anxiety only ensures that relief is not going to come anytime soon.   So there you have it... the unbearable lightness of zeroing. Staying in town is a good thing but like all good things too much of a good thing is no good at all. Get yourself in and out of town at a liesurely pace but get out before the leg hicups get you.                                                -Backdraft BongRamen