Date: 2015-02-03
To: Trail Depression
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: overcast clouds

RW means: Registered as Wacky at the moment.Hi everyone. I am sitting here resting after shoveling snow all day. We just finished getting over 19 inches of snow. Post Trail Recovery: I read many hiker journals that discuss their injuries, mental depression, and difficulty reentering the real world.   My injuries, particularly the knees recovered nicely. However, as of today, my Achilles Tendons still hurt and I do the hiker shuffle for a dozen of so steps after sitting a while. My doctor says it will just take time for the Achilles to recover. My other physical issue is dental gums. One of the first things I did after returning home was to see the dentist. He found gum disease, even though I did brush my teeth twice a day on the trail. After 4 months of oral treatments, my gums are still in poor shape and I am now seeing a specialist. I still take small doses of Vitamin I, most days.I found reentering the real world was easy at first, because of my active family life and I had so much to catch up on after 7 months on the trail. Furthermore, I decided to rewrite my trail journal into book form. During this process, I added many stories and added flavor and texture about the daily life of living on the trail. As I write this book, I find so many people were on different journeys. Hike Your Own Hike (HYOH) is both physical and metaphysical. The physical involves the daily pursuit of getting from one geographical location to the next. Each person does it their own way. The metaphysical is just as important. The journey for many is internal and they seek peace and answers to so many troubling life problems. Others journey externally seeking adventure and fun. All find companionship, friends, and experiences that will stay with us forever and can never be repeated. We know this. I met several thru-hikers who hike the AT over and over. Sitting here months after my hike is finished, I understand the desire to repeat the experience. I too want to go back to the trail. I miss the all-consuming aspect of it, the emotional and physical connections, and most of all, the simple and fulfilling daily life. Everyday I felt achievement, even with low mileage days. I could measure my daily progress and know with absolute certainty the distance to my goal. It always seemed far away but definable. I miss that now, the definable end and goal. Life is not about the minutes you live, but about how you live the minutes of your life. The minutes on the trail are full of life, nature, and humanity. My daily home life is full, but not as intense. I fell into a minor depression as winter deepened and cabin fever replaced my White Blaze fever. I will not hike the AT again, nor plan to undertake such a large challenge again. I will never see or speak again to most of the truly great people I met. It is unlikely that I will ever take on such a physical challenge again or know myself as well as I did on the Trail. The pilgrimage cannot be repeated. For those that repeat the trail, I am both jealous, yet content. I am jealous because I too want to repeat and re-experience the trail. I am content because my trail life did not supplant the great life I already have. I didn't lose anything and gained enormously.   Without writing the book and completing my long list of - to do - projects, my depression may have been worse. I miss the trail and many of the people, but writing the book in more detail gives me the chance to relive the hike and I will forever have my book to remember it by. I will relive my hike without it fading away.   For all future thru-hikers, I recommend some sort of depression treatment, self-developed or assisted. The mental healing is as important as the physical. Good luck