Date: 2013-05-20
From: Wood's Hole Hostel

To: Wood's Hole Hostel
Miles today: 10.0

I slept like hell last night. I tossed and turned and tried to meditate myself to sleep. None of it worked. Finally I got up and went downstairs. I snuck out the front door. The sky was crystal clear. I stared up at the stars and wished that I could talk to Tom. I really miss him. I miss not being able to call and hear his voice. I miss not having him as a sounding block. I blew a kiss towards our star. If I couldn't talk to him at least I could write to him. I sat down at the computer (it's on the front porch, covered in a blanket at night to keep the critters off) and shot him an email. Just getting everything written out helped drain a lot of my anxiety. I sent a thank you out to the Universe for technology (usually I'm cursing it). I'm tucked away in the High Fields of Sugar Gap Run, VA with no phone coverage, and he's in the depths of Afghanistan. But with the stroke of a button, I know he can hear me. I went back to bed.I didn't fall asleep until around 2. My alarm went off at 5:05. I hit snooze until the second alarm went off 5 mins later. I told Neville that I would come down and mediate with her before the morning chores. We sat for just short of an hour, but my mind and thoughts were still all over the place. The body is easy to keep still and focused, the mind is not.I helped with breakfast, mostly just making the orange juice and setting the table. Wood's Hole offers two delicious meals a day, both consist mostly from stuff produced on the farm, almost always made from scratch, both served family style, neither to be missed if humanly possible. This morning was a frittata made with eggs from the chickens roaming about the yard, topped with greens grown in the garden, fresh bread made that morning, fresh fruit, and sweet rice covered in homemade yogurt and homemade berry preserves. And coffee, lots of coffee. Dreamer and I had a nice, cleansing chat. She had been wrestling with similar thoughts to my own. We also opted to slack pack today's hike in order to stay another night at Wood's Hole. I think I'd stay forever if I didn't think they would have me forcibly removed from the property. I was also thrilled to find out that I could do the hike heading northward and be picked up in Pearisburg. In all my thought swimming the last few days, I've come to hone my definition of "a successful hike." Everyone has their own definition, and it runs far deeper than simple lip service to white blazes and mileage. It's what is in your gut, what settles the mind. Perhaps you reach "it" before you reach Katahdin, so going the extra distance isn't necessary. Perhaps you still haven't gotten "there" when you pass the 2185.9 mark, and that would be unfortunate. My definition of a successful hike is doing this trek as honestly to myself as possible. I'm a purist; I've known that since the very beginning. So passing every white blaze heading northbound and doing it how I want to do it is so important that I lose sleep over it. I'll slack pack today, still carrying my pack (though it's mostly empty). I'll head northbound. I can do this with a clear conscience, but I know I need to soon start hiking my own hike again. Dreamer and I hiked all day together. We talked about family, friends, marriage, religion, travels, the trail, and any number of other subjects. The day raced by, but we did not. We stopped to have some granola for lunch. Just about everyone from Wood's Hole (Aquaman, Stand Up, Lone Wolf, Roadrunner, and several others) passed by. It felt strange to see them in different clothes, pack on their backs, in the woods, on the trail. I'd only known them in the context of the hostel, and in my mind's eye they were permenant fixtures of that context and not this. The trail followed a ridge. The temperature was pleasantly cool and pleasantly overcast. The rocks were slick with sweat and humidity. Thunder occasionally rolled across the distant hill tops, but I felt safe and so light on my feet. I loped and hopped along like a young, feisty goat. I realized as I was literally dancing and skipping down the trail that this is something that I couldn't, or wouldn't dare, do with a fully loaded pack on. It was like ordering dessert in a fancy restaurant- you don't normally go there and do that, but when you do, it is truly a treat. We stopped under some power lines that stood above an overlook. A few hours later as we were being shuttled back to the hostel, we saw the same power lines but from the car window far below. It felt much taller at the top. There was an interesting rock formation called the Angel's Nest. Giant cubes of rock stacked impossibly haphazardly on top of each other. It made me feel like a failure at Jega when these enormous boulders balance so easily on their edges, and yet I'm unable to steadying small wooden pegs. There was no shortage of nooks and crannies; an outlaw's dream! The descent into Pearisburg was muddy, even with less pull of a lighter pack. We got to a paved road and almost continued across, but we realized that we were supposed to be at the rendezvous point by now. So we turned right and started walking down the long winding road into town. We had no intention of hitch hiking, but a red pick-up pulled up beside us and asked if we needed a lift. We happily accepted and jumped in the back. Boy are we glad that we did! It was a much longer walk down into Pearisburg than we realized. The driver stopped beside the Dairy Queen, and we hopped out. Cabo, Hiccup and several others were already there. I ordered a root beer float and called mom. Everyone had their phones stuck to their ears. There'd been no cellphone coverage at Wood's Hole, so we all needed a 'fix'. Neville arrive and we all piled in her vehicle. We were packed in like sardines, but we all fit. How many hikers can you fit in a car? The answer: One more. It was great to see a bit of the countryside. I realized how much of the landscape you don't see way up on the mountaintop. There were fields of wheat, pastures full of slick horses, houses of every variety (old farm houses, new brick houses, trailer houses with Dixie flags flying out front, small, large, and medium). We got back to the hostel, and I got a few more trail journals updated. I got a restorative massage- my oldest friend, Dianne's, parents sent me a lovely card and some trail magic which I'm using part of to treat myself- thank you Mrs. Joyce and Mr. Frank! I was pleased to find that no parts felt particularly sore or tight. We had dinner al fresco- pumpkin lasagna, meat lasagna, giant salads with greens picked mere minutes before, homemade salad dressings, and loads of fresh, warm bread. I was so full I couldn't bring myself to eat an ice cream cone. We ended the evening with meditation. I had planned to stay up and finish the trail journal updates, but I was too tired. Instead, I took a shower and crawled into bed. We're meditating again in the morning and I'll need the sleep.