Date: 2009-03-13
To: "Lo, the bird is on the wing..."
Miles today: 0.0

At 35,000 feet, I¢m alone at last with my dreams. They¢ve turned off the overhead lights and pulled down the window shades to allow those who are so inclined to find sleep. For the moment, I¢m not tired. For me, it¢s finally time to think about the journey ¢ the adventure ¢ I¢m about to begin.         It¢s strange, I know. I¢ve been thinking about this hike for over four years, and counting the days ¢ literally ¢ for the past twelve months. And now, the counting is done. Everything is packed up and ready to go, waiting silently in Atlanta for my arrival. So how is it, after all that time, I haven¢t been able to focus on what this journey may hold for me? What is it that has prevented me from exploring my hopes and dreams for the trail, and for me?         Partly, I think, it¢s because it just hasn¢t been real until now. And that¢s because of all of the distractions of daily life, and especially the demands that come from ¢making a living¢ ¢ demands that consume my attention and drain my energy, leaving only an empty space where dreams are born, and grow, and become real. At least that¢s been my experience. But then, I¢m a very single minded person. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Before this, there was a time to work. And now that the work is done, it¢s a time to dream.         So¢¦what do I want from this little walk in the woods? What do I hope for? I allow my mind to drift over the possibilities: so many things¢¦so many things.         Ok, first: I want a break. I NEED a break. It¢s been non-stop since last April, with a fleeting week off in July, and that was it. I¢m spent. This hike should be just what I need to restore my energy, my enthusiasm, my capacity to create ¢ thoughts, concepts, connections, to see the big picture, to grasp the synergies, to find not just the right words, but the inspiration to make them come alive; to find meaning and relevance in what I do to make a living; to do some good, hopefully, and to do it well. When I come back¢¦.        Second: I¢m going to spend the next six months getting into the best shape of my life ¢ literally and figuratively! If all goes well, I will lose a ton of weight and I will finish my hike as strong as an ox. Which is kind of appropriate, because that's what I¢m going to resemble and smell like by the time I¢m done. But, hey, when I get home my wife will simply burn my clothes and my sleeping bag, and I will take three showers a day until the stink goes away.         I¢ll probably also shave off my beard. See, the weather is kind of hard on my beard. There¢s just something about the mountain air that, combined with the sun, and the wind, and the rain, turns my beard GRAY. I know¢¦it¢s weird, but that¢s what happens. So, rather than have to answer a lot of stupid questions about how someone as young as me could possibly have gray in their beard, I¢ll just do what I did the last time, and shave it off.         Third, there¢s that ¢find myself¢ (again) thing. You know: who am I, really? What matters? Where am I going with my life? And that old standby: What do I want to be when I grow up?   Nah. I already know who I am, and what matters. I¢ve also got me a ¢life list¢ with over a hundred things on it, so I figure I pretty much know where I¢m going in the future ¢ at least once the stock market recovers! And it¢s either too early or too late to grow up, so I¢m not going waste my time on that one, either.        On the other hand, it would probably be a good thing if I could learn to relax a bit, not take things so seriously, sometimes. Not worry so much. One thing I know about me, for example: I can never really be happy if someone, or anyone, that I love is unhappy. The last thing I ever want to do is to contribute to that other person¢s unhappiness ¢ which I sometimes do, even if I don¢t mean too, and even if it¢s mostly just because I can¢t help it. Know what I mean? Sometimes, I wish I weren¢t like I am, but then, if I weren¢t like me, who would I be? So maybe, just maybe, I can find a way to leave ¢worrier man¢, and a few of my other incarnations, somewhere out on the trail. Slip away, perhaps, while they¢re admiring the views at the top of a distant mountain. I wouldn¢t entirely mind returning from the trail just a tad bit ¢mellower¢ maybe. It might help, of course, if the Federal Reserve and the Treasury guys could get their act together on fixing the damn financial system, but I suppose I shouldn¢t count on that.           Ok, there¢s probably some other stuff I want from this hike, but the Captain has just turned on the ¢seat belts¢ sign and the Stewardess has instructed us to close our tray tables and put our seatbacks ¢in their full-upright and most uncomfortable position¢ in preparation for landing at Dulles International Airport. So I only have time for this one more thing, which is ok because it¢s really the most important thing I want from this little walk in the woods: I want to be FREE! I want to just cut loose, to shed the burdens of responsibility, the expectations of adulthood, and the conventions of ¢civilized society¢. In short, I want to savor the unmitigated joys of childhood once again. WOOHOO! We start tomorrow ¢ me and Walter. Join us. This is going to be so much fun!