Date: 2015-06-18
From: Campsite near Pocohontas Spring

To: Allentown Hiking Club Shelter
Miles today: 19.4
Weather: light rain

I woke up at 3 chilly, putting on my pants. Then my puffy jacket. Then socks. Then my rain jacket. I was still a little cold. I should have kept my sleeping bag instead of my fleece. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20, right? I was a little uncomfortable, that was all.And when my alarm went off at 5?Rain! I hate waking up to rain, knowing I will have to pack up a wet tent, and also just be wet.So I put off getting up, especially since I couldn't hear Chris moving. But eventually I got hungry, so I went and retrieved our food bags, dropping Chris's off under his hammock. We agreed to wait a little while before packing up. I wanted to read, and he didn't mind just hanging out.So I sat in my tent, draped my fleece over my shoulders, and happily read my book as rain pattered down on my rain fly. And I ate my protein granola and then some Chex mix compulsively as I read. Too much Chex mix, my tummy said once it started to hit. I had to struggle not to fall back asleep.Then it was time to pack up and put on my new shoes. I hoped that they would be a little drier than my camp shoes, but I figured it would be inevitable that they would end up muddy on their second day out. Nothing stays nice out here for long.And, of course, it only took half a hour for my new Merrells to get soaked. And it wasn't much later that they were muddy, muddy, muddy. Now we are truly committed to each other. Cabela's would never take them back now.When we passed Coco and Magnus's tent just up the trail and saw no signs of movement, I felt better about my slow and late start.Yesterday I was talking to Miles about slowing down on the trail. I keep saying I am going to slow down, and I have a little. I guess I could afford to slow down more. At the same time, though, I like hiking with Chris, and meeting up with the Aussies, Coco and Magnus, Funk, and more. I am not willing to break with this bubble yet. Besides, the trail practically plans itself most days at this point. Usually there is only one good option for a day's ending point based on the location of shelters, campsites, and water sources.Miles was of the attitude that he is enjoying himself at the speed he has been keeping, so he might as well just keep going the same way.I still figure that if I get to Katahdin really early, I can just turn around and hike back south towards home. Extend the adventure more!I do love the adventure. Even though I started the day with a wet tent, hiked with prune-toes all day, and had to endure miles of rocks and rocks and more rocks. There was one really glorious stretch of dirt road through some of the state game lands that we cruised down like cars on a highway.The rocks are not fun. Especially damp. One advantage my trail runners had over my Merrells, even during their last sad, dilapidating days, was that they were flexible enough, even with all of the tread worn off, that they kind of conformed to the rocks. The Merrells have thicker soles, which probably protect my feet better, but they are SO SLIPPERY on the rocks. Still, I only fell three times today.The first two falls weren't bad. I feel like I was overdue for another injury anyway. Every time one heals, another crops up somehow. I would rather have a few scrapes than another mystery affliction like the bizarre blisters I had on my hands, or another infection. I have had three infections already. One on my hand because of those weird blisters (which I thought were poison ivy at first but probably weren't), another on my toe the day we hiked into Harpers Ferry, and one on my neck when I went home to visit Candace (might have started as a bug bite, who knows).So the first two falls of the day were small. One gave me a couple small scrapes. The second was harmless. The third fall, though, was a great one. Even though I was navigating a boulder field super slowly, bracing myself carefully with my trekking poles, I slipped, pitched forward, and WHOMP! Down I went, scraping my legs and right elbow, and bumping my head (not hard, at least). Luckily, Chris was far enough ahead of me that he didn't notice (and he had his headphones in so he didn't hear the tumultuous crash of my poles as I took my tumble).I struggled to extricate my right hand from its trekking poles strap, as the pole was trapped underneath me. I pushed myself up, examined my minor wounds to make sure they weren't serious, and I kept going (I didn't even have to limp for that long!). Even though I wasn't in pain, I really wanted to cry. After 15 miles of rocks, mud, and wet feet in new shoes, I was just tired, and hungry, and grumpy.I sucked it up, though, and managed to get myself back together by the time I caught up with Chris, who had paused in the middle of the trail to wait for me."I fell." I explained simply. He looked at my bleeding legs and said something along the lines of, "Wow, I guess you did."I twisted my elbow around to try to see how much it was bleeding. It was pretty muddy, too. "Do you want to clean that out?" Chris asked."Yeah." I said. I didn't care about my legs. They could wait the four miles to the shelter. But I did want to get the mud off of my arm. I totally was just going to rip some leaves off of a nearby bush to wipe myself off, but Chris took out his water bottle and instructed me to turn my elbow towards the sky.And he rinsed it off. He even rubbed some of the blood and dirt off for me (both of my hands were occupied by holding all four of our trekking poles). He did ask, before touching my vital body fluid, "You don't have any bloodborne pathogens I should know about?" You know you have a good friend when they are willing to help deal with your bloody wounds (for the record, I am disease-free).Afterwards I realized just how funny that question was. I don't know why, it was exactly what he should have asked. The phrase "bloodborne pathogens" is just funny, maybe because I had to watch a video EVERY YEAR I worked at the summer camp in my hometown (for a total of like 9 years) entitled Bloodborne Pathogens. It was like a ridiculous summer tradition, a terrible film with terrible acting of situations in which you might encounter potentially hazardous bodily fluids.Anyway, I am fine. I cleaned up at the shelter. No lasting damage. I am just adding to my awesome collection of AT battle scars.Some other things that happened today:1. I used my umbrella for a few hours until the rain finally slowed. I love that thing. Only SEVEN OUNCES, too.2. We stopped at the Windsor Furnace Shelter so Chris could eat a snack and get water. The privy had a sign on it that said "Windsor Furnace Privy". I found this HILARIOUS. Is it really necessary?! Do they think people won't be able to tell that it's a privy?!3. We got trail magic from Scout, who thru-hiked in 2009. He parked his green pickup near Eckville Shelter. I ate a banana. Chris drank an entire bottle of soda.4. We ate lunch at Eckville Shelter, which has a caretaker, like the 501 Shelter did. He gave us ice pops. Even though it was definitely not ice pop weather, I ate mine and Chris's. They tasted like nostalgia, reviving memories of my childhood.5. We arrived at this shelter, where we are staying tonight, in time to secure spots inside. Many others have since arrived. I feel bad that others couldn't fit but I am so glad I don't have to pitch my wet tent, and even more glad I don't have to sleep in it. Coco and Magnus arrived late, but they usually tent anyway.This morning's trail thoughts were mostly concerned with home. I want to try to throw a trail magic picnic on a weekend when I get close to home, and keep thinking of what I need to do to make it happen. Which friends and family to invite, where to do it, what I need to buy or ask people to bring...It would be so cool to be able to have a picnic with friends and family and also be able to feed some other thru-hikers, too. Especially if I might be able to catch some of the people I know.This next rant might make some of you roll your eyes and say, "Suck it up, Red Panda!" or "Don't worry so much." or "STOP EATING SO MANY M&Ms!". However, I am trying to give an honest depiction of my life on the trail and the thoughts and problems and pressures I have been dealing with out here. This one is kind of dumb but has been on my mind a lot lately.Just humor me. I'm only human, after all.During our lunch break at Eckville, I charged my phone and took it out of airplane mode briefly to suck in emails and text messages. I got one from Aviary that said she thinks it's funny that I get so mad about gaining weight.I don't think it's funny! I mean, the bulky thing is funny. But gaining weight isn't. It is unhealthy and uncomfortable and I eat terribly and consume way too much junk on the trail and I know it. I am just always SO HUNGRY. Like right now. I am hungry. It never ends. And I can't resist pizza and M&Ms.I know that I shouldn't care so much. What are a few pounds over the course of a thru-hike, right?But I do. I care. A lot. I worry that the hunger will consume me long after I summit Katahdin and I will end up a big, pudgy, roly poly ball of a person.When I was in Korea, I got kind of pudgy. Reality hit and I decided I didn't want to be that person. I dramatically changed my lifestyle. I started exercising almost every day, and was eating really well (I still had chocolate every day, of course, just not as much as I eat now).I lost like twenty pounds. I felt so much happier because I was so HEALTHY, with my fruits and vegetables and exercise. I was so much more comfortable in my own skin.Now I am back to bulky and uncomfortable. I am in good shape, sure, but the weight gain gets to me. I don't want the junk and the overeating to become a long-lasting habit. I liked how I felt before.After I read the email, I pinched some of the layer of pudge that I have gained sadly and hated myself a little. I think I am disappointed in myself for letting my eating get out of hand, even though I knew it would. I totally EXPECTED to gain weight on the trail. I know how much I love eating.I am at a healthy weight now, despite the thigh-rub. I just don't want to get carried away (on a sea of M&Ms).So even though I know it is a little silly, this is something I have been struggling with lately. Sometimes as I hike and my legs rub and rub, I hate myself a little. But then I get to town and think "When else in my life am I going to have the opportunity and excuse to eat so much pizza?!" and totally go for it.Am I going to obsess over it? A little. Am I going to let it negatively affect my hike? Of course not. Will the bulky joke ever stop being funny? I doubt it. Will I stop eating pizza and M&Ms? DEFINITELY NOT. I will try to practice moderation, though.However... yesterday at the shelter Chris loudly announced, "I would just like to point out the ratio of M&Ms to nuts and other things in your trail mix." It's at least 50% candy.How did I answer that? "Just wait a few days, the ratio will be closer to normal.""Because you're going to eat all of the M&Ms?" He laughed. And he was right. That was totally the plan. And it has been working out quite well so far.Just another reality of my trail journey.I am thankful to be warm and dry. I am thankful to be happy and healthy, despite my increased mass and ridiculous worries. I am thankful that, in the event of a bear getting my food bag, I have enough body fat stored up in my bubble butt that I will be able to survive long enough to get to town. I am thankful that tomorrow's plan calls for less than 17 miles of hiking. I am also thankful that my new shoes seem to be working out well so far. Almost 20 wet miles and no blisters yet!