Date: 2009-08-15
From: Pinkham Notch

To: near Zeta pass
Miles today: 8.5

Morning came all too soon and all I wanted to do was keep sleeping. I actually was having good dreams that night, which is a rare occurrence for me. I finally got out of bed and made my way over to breakfast, where I sat by myself and tried to write down as much of my dream as I could remember. Journaling about the hike would have to be pushed aside again. A family who had stayed at Madison Hut with me, and who had heard the southbounder talk about her journey, were discussing northbound numbers. The husband thought we had only 12 more days to hike. I had to stop my writing and tell them that, no, that was certainly not the case! ¢But she said the northbounders were doing 25 miles a day!¢¢Not in this terrain!¢They wanted to know why that was so. The husband then asked when he thought I would finish. ¢But that¢s a long time from now!¢¢Yeah!¢   This is when the hike becomes most pyschologically difficult for us. We are close to the border of Maine, but still have hundreds of miles to hike- and over the hardest terrain on the trail. Our bodies are exhausted and broken down, and all we want to do is rest, but we have to keep going...   I returned to my room to pack up my belongings and put together the box of extra things to ship back home. Yesterday, the girl at the desk said I could give them money and they would ship out my package. However, there was a different girl this morning who said that could not be done... I told her it was a flat rate box, so I knew exactly what it would cost and she finally agreed.   Then, I made my way across the street and over to Lost Pond, where Erik and I had hiked two years ago. I remember seeing a very forlorn-looking thru-hiker back then on this section! After I made my way around the pond, I began my climb up the Wildcats. From here on out, all of the trail would be new to me. I stopped at the first overlook where a family was sitting to take some pictures of Pinkham Notch below, and Mount Washington in the distance. My memory card was full, so I pulled my spare one out and exchanged it. However, my camera would not allow me to take any pictures with this card! Even though it was empty, it kept saying, ¢Memory card full¢! I took it out, put it back in, turned on and off the camera, put the old card in, tried to see if there were any pictures I could delete, but no matter what I did, I had no ability to take anymore photos and this made me incredibly upset! I didn¢t know what to do! I called Erik and he suggested that I use my iphone camera until I could get a new memory card or camera. However, I knew my iphone didn¢t take decent pictures, and I didn¢t know when I would ever climb the Wildcats again and have this view. I started to cry. It was my first real break-down, and I think I was just too exhausted to be able to properly handle this problem. I kept telling Erik that all I wanted to do was sleep. He urged me to turn back and stay another night at Pinkham, but I told him there was no way I was turning around! I knew the climb down was even harder than the hike up and thru-hikers never turn around! I sat there and cried and cried.       Eventually, I got up and got moving. I still had a lot of climbing to do. I made it to the gondola, where a bunch ot tourists were gathered, and then made my way behind it, and back into the forest. A little while later, while I was taking a step downwards, my foot slipped, and I fell onto my elbow- right into a rock. It really hurt, and I remained sitting, where I fell, wondering if I had just broken it, as the pain would not let up. I called Erik again to tell him what happened, and had my second break-down of the day. I really did not want this fall to end my trip. Erik felt helpless and did not know what to say. A man passed south and asked me what was wrong. There was really nothing anyone could do. I had to hike 3 miles to Carter Notch Hut, where I could get help if I really needed it. In the meantime, I just had to go slow and see what kind of pain developed in my elbow over the course of the day. I had broken this elbow before, so I knew what kind of pain to expect if it was really broken.    An older lady and her daughter and I leap-frogged all afternoon, and I saw a couple of older men near the hut, but came across no one else in the next several miles. There was a beautiful lake with lily pads before the hut and I sat down on a flat rock to rest for a few minutes. I could hear a family with children coming closer, as they sang songs about getting to the hut. It was sweet. Then, one of the croo workers passed by with a big crate on his pack. He seemed to be in a happy mood.      I got some lemonade and snacked on trail mix at the hut while I read through the register. I contemplated asking the croo for some ice for my elbow, but decided not to. I decided not to ask for work-for-stay, as I was too tired to do extra work, and got going, up the steep climb to Carter Dome. I found a lookout where I could see the hut and hear the people staying at it and gave Erik another call to let him know how I was doing. Then, I continued on.    I encountered two boys and their parents backpacking up toward Carter Dome (from the north side), as the light began to fade. We all had to find camping spots soon! As I continued out of the alpine zone and brush trees, ¢no camping¢ signs started to appear. Great¢¦ I continued on and on, trying to find some legal space to tie up my hammock. All of a sudden, I came across a man lying in a bivy sack with his blond hair flowing out. I said, ¢hi!¢ and asked if he minded if I camped there as well. I suddenly felt more chipper than I had all day with a little company around, as night was falling! There was also a tent set-up, but no one emerged from it that night. I found a secluded space a little ways down into the forest, set-up my hammock, and decided that my elbow was not hurting like it was broken anymore! Yay! I got ready for bed as the forest became enclosed in darkness and settled into my sleeping bag to await my final day in the White Mountains.