Date: 2007-07-21
From: William Penn Shelter

To: Port Clinton, PA
Miles today: 27.8
Weather: broken clouds

I was up before dawn and moving at first light. I have to meet my parents in Port Clinton this evening - nearly 28 miles away over tough terrain. The weather was great. I can't say I kept a steady pace. Rocks make that impossible. But I kept moving with virtually no breaks.Time to let you in on a secret. I could get in major trouble for revealing this, so don't spread it around. When a thru-hiker passes the midpoint of the trail, we're inducted into a secret society. It's our version of the Illuminati. We're privy to the secret history of certain events - such as the origins of the PA rocks. The REAL origins.While God was creating the earth, He had some help. Lucifer at this time was still an angel, and served as God's general contractor for this major project. Anyone involved in a large construction project knows that if you're on a tight deadline (creating the earth in a week certainly qualifies), your general contractor may need to cut corners, grease some palms, and take other unsavory actions to stay on schedule. This was no different. You see, gnomes, living in the center of the earth, had the rock market cornered. (They were the original organized crime syndicate.) Lucifer cut a deal with them to provide all the rocks for creating the earth. He was also getting a kickback on each 1,000 tons of rocks ordered. (This was before minimum wage laws, and he had to make a living...) Well, Lucifer got a bit greedy. He significantly over-ordered on the rocks needed. Once construction was completed, God noticed this huge surplus of rocks. He had to put them somewhere. He mushed some of them together and created the moon. He scattered others across the globe to make mountain ranges. Including a range in Pennsylvania. Now this wouldn't have been bad, except God was fed up with Lucifer. It wasn't just the rocks. There were other design flaws. Giraffes, for instance. Blowfish is another example. (Rumor is that Lucifer was tripping on acid when some of these orders were made, which could explain some of the odd configurations, but this has yet to be proven.) So God exiled Lucifer to live with the gnomes. Eventually Lucifer took over, thus creating Hell, and the gnomes became his servants. Lucifer was rather bitter over this action. After all, he'd met his deadlines, worked his butt off, and while there were some glitches, there always are on projects of this scale. So he took a bit off the top for himself. It was reasonable, he thought. Lucifer wanted to get some revenge, some release for his anger. So each evening he released the gnomes - now the minions of Hell - to attack the rocks in PA. They chisled them down, breaking them into smaller pieces, until the entire mountain range in PA was reduced to rubble. Over the thousands and thousands of years, the work continued each night, carving the rocks into sharp and uneven edges. This practice continues to this day. That is why this PA section is referred to "the rocks from hell" by thru-hikers. Yet I digress.I kept moving, sore from yesterday's fall, feet bruised from the rocks. After more than 12 hours of constant hiking, I finally came to Port Clinton. I finally found my parents at the bar/restaurant, along with Big Blue and Bill the Pony. After more than a month, I had finally caught up to and/or passed everyone in the "bubble" I had started hiking in, but lost after my week off after Trail Days. It felt good!!!Some food, some drink, of then off to the RV to a campground rounded out my evening. After hiking 70 miles in 2 1/2 days, tomorrow will be a well-deserved zero day.