Date: 2003-01-09
To: Unknown!
Miles today: 0.0

We '03 hikers are very chatty lately.You can feel the excitement growing on the '03 e-list HikersRUs.Sometimes the conversations veer into deep water, as if we were all already sitting around the campfire. People are having to sort out their motivations, as friends/relatives want to know - why? Why are you going on a six-month walk? Why are you doing "this?" Very rich and meaty stuff. Today, on the e-list, someone asked why. Why would people like him, like us, quit their homes, quit their jobs and go hike the AT, asked Jonathan? It's quite an intimate question, really. It strikes at the heart of who we believe ourselves to be.Meaty indeed.Jonathon wrote:" For what seemed like the one millionth time a co-worker asked me yesterday whywould anyone in their right mind sell a house and quit a job to walk through the woods for five months. Once again I had no reasonable, sensible, logical response. Just the visceral feeling to knowthat I had to try this. I just sat and said "you know I really just likethe outdoors and hiking" ect. while everyone around me had the same expression on their faces that I've seen so many times. The lookthat says "yeah I knew it he really is touched!" Later after work I lay awake thinking and asking myself over and over again"why.....why do I need to do this so much?"Deep down Jonathon knows - "that visceral feeling" he says - though the answer might not make much sense to anyone else around him. Or even him. But he KNOWS it's there. He ignores it at his peril. I think he knows this too.Fellow '03 AT Classmate Ted (Soleman) puts this after his every post:"It was on the first of May, in the year 1769, that I resigned mydomestic happiness for a time, and left my family and peaceable habitation on the Yadkin River, in North Carolina, to wander through the wilderness ofAmerica." - Daniel BooneIt begs the same question - why?In response, another '03 lister, Mark (Toot), quoted from a trail journal by Yogi, a Pacific Crest Trail (2002) and AT 1999 hiker. The "American Dream," Yogi says, no longer worked for her.I still buy into some of the "American dream," but alot of it is no longer fitting - for me, at this time in my life. If I had dependents, I might feel differently. But if the American Dream fits you, I say - "Go for it!" Everybody's inner call is different. Hike your own hike, as they say. As long as you ARE hiking it.I've only quoted parts of Yogi's essay here, which can be seen in her journals.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Yogi wrote:"Thru hikers are GOOD PEOPLE. We're a tribe. A tribe of souls who have chosen a lifestyle which is very different from most people...Problem is that most of us have friends and family who try to project THEIR happiness on US...They ASSUME we can't be happy unless we have what they have. We have a different lifestyle, so we must be doing it wrong. ...No matter how much we try to explain it, they'll never understand. We're NOT irresponsible. We're NOT doing it wrong. We ARE grown up. We ARE happy. We're living a HEALTHY lifestyle. We're EXACTLY where we want to be. On the trail, in the hiking community, we are surrounded by friends who DO get IT."-------------------------------------------------------- Jan again here.I thought about that "why" all morning - some of this is ground I have plowed before. I still don't have that quick 'n easy sound bite for "why?". But I do know more about what motivates me.I posted in the '03 group:"... why (Jonathan asked).....why do I need to do this so much?"I've wrestled with this question, too. I finally saw what it was, andwrote about "why" in my journal. I hesitated about putting it "out there," because exposing one's interior life invites cynicism and sarcasm. I've learned that if one isn't vigilant - andcourageous - taking this negativity to heart can shut down access to what is sometimes called "the small still voice." I think the "why" of it is bigger than just what we, the Class of '03, are feeling. I think the impulse is ageless and universal. We are pluggedinto the same restlessness that sparked migrations through the eons. Whyelse would primitive peoples with low technology leave their predictablehomelands and cross unknown deserts and oceans? (I'm a weenie bycomparison - I have maps!).The little voice niggles, whispering "what's more important than meresurvival? There's something else that's important too."I'm willing to bet many here have heard that voice, whether theytrust it or not. It's a tender yet persistent little thing, like a flowerpushing up through concrete. Why aren't we '03-ers all doing the 9-5 survival grind this year?The little voice will always have it's out, whether we work withit or not. It bubbles, we push it down, it makes us crazy. In the long run, it's really less hassle to work with it."... why.....why do I need to do this so much?"How about "awe?" Awe is where its at.It feeds us.Everyone has their own reasons. But for me, it's awe.In truth, we don't need to GO anywhere to see this. I do recognizethat much. Seeking is a trap. There is awe in our everyday life too. But for myself at least, it's easy to take it for granted. Overlook it. Get bored, cynical. Get in my head too much and miss the reality around me. No concepts/beliefs needed for awe. Awe just is...awe. It stops us in our tracks, sags our jaws.So, I take the journey to wake me up. Some day, I am going to learnhow to stay awake in everyday life. Become innocent again, with wisdom thistime.That's my truth anyway, and I'm stickin' to it!Like-A-Virgin ShoePS Not working for half a year is a kick too!;-)