Date: 2010-08-31
From: Cranberry Stream Campground

To: Safford Campground
Miles today: 8.5

31st August Tuesday ¢ 8.5 miles to Safford CampsiteIt¢s funny to remember where my mindset was before starting this journey. I knew something bad might happen as I practiced sleeping in my front yard. I pitched my tent outside my house several times before leaving in March. I practiced to see if I could keep the wind from knocking the tent down. Every night I slept with the alarm clock outside my tarps vestibule. The electrical extension cord beneath the fabric of my tent and plugged into the clock. I still felt connected. Closterphobia would make made me anxious. I was certain I¢d complete the trail, if I had the guts to begin. I knew I¢d finish or I¢d come home in a cast.Now after 2000 miles, I¢m finished with the hard part. None of the horrible things I¢d imagined ever came true. I¢m lying in my tent staring at the ceiling again. Here I am in Maine. I¢m not in the front yard of my peaceful Durham neighborhood. I¢ve made it to the end! I¢ve reached my goal and now I¢m finding myself with the same thoughts. The same doubts of what next? Where to now? How will I function in the real world after this experience? Will I starve? Will I go bankrupt? The exact same questions and anxiousness has come full circle.This time I¢m getting a diploma from the University of Badasses. I¢ve learned things they don¢t teach in elementary school. The survival skills don¢t apply to middle school or high school. I¢m an official card carrying member of an exceptional group of humans. I clench my teeth now when I get anxious and remember that I¢m a Thru-hiker. I¢ve got something to prove to the Boogieman that I¢m not afraid! The determination that I experienced in the past is not the same now. Now I feel completely different. I¢m sure things will be a lot better from now on. Things will only get easier for me now. Now I can apply the tools the AT has afforded me.Honestly I don¢t want to stop testing my nerve. That live wire feels good when I grab it. Something inside of me wants me to keep pissing on the electric fence until I stop being afraid.The sound of 12 kids woke everyone up around sunrise. The temperature was mild last night and I spent most of my time outside of my sleeping bag. No wind last night either which is unusual. I¢m dragging around slowly this morning because we stayed up late talking around the fire. The instructors don¢t tell the kids where they are or how far they¢ve got to go. The kids don¢t even know what time it is. I asked if that kept them from complaining. They said it didn¢t help the whining. One of the girls has three huge white bandages over burns she sustained last night. The group was making Bisquick pizzas last night with hot grease and their MSR stove. The hot grease splattered onto the young girl¢s leg and left her screaming in pain. These kids are a danger to themselves and everyone around. Another young girl has two whole sheets of moleskin attached to the back of her ankle. She looks silly with those huge bandages hanging out of her shoe. There¢s a shortage of moleskin in the group and one of the girls will have to walk unprotected because someone else took all the bandage material. Pony gives them an unused sheet of moleskin that he¢s been carrying for two months. When they finally leave the whole campsite is quiet and peaceful again. I could go back to sleep.Conan and Backward emerge from hiding in their tent. No one slept well last night because of the heat wave. I eat a few doughnuts and peanut butter by the fire ashes from last night. Pony, Conan and I aren¢t in a hurry to leave yet. Conan and I are trying to reach Safford campsite tonight. All that stands between us and that goal is a long alpine hike over the Bigelows and Averi Mountain. I¢ve been trying to find a black sharpie to deface the first ¢Bigelow¢ sign I encounter. I wanted to make the sign read, ¢Little Bigelow-bowski¢ in honor of the movie, ¢The Big Lebowski¢I got water somewhere upstream of where the girls washed their hair in the stream last night. Climbing the North and West Peak of Bigelow is going to be beautiful! I¢m also looking forward to climbing the mountain that shares its name with my little sister named, ¢Averi¢I pass Caribou really early this morning as he makes his way south to NJ. I saw Yolo first and knelt down to scratch his ears. I wasn¢t sure what to say to Caribou so I just smiled a lot at him. I couldn¢t think of what to say. In retrospect I should have made the hand sign for Caribou just to let him know I knew him. I made it obvious that I was really glad to see him and Caribou reciprocated. He seems so happy and friendly! He¢s even patient with my awkwardness. He shakes my hand and gestures that it¢s a hard climb from here to the next campsite. Great seeing him again!The temperature is stifling hot today. I¢m experiencing my first unpleasantly humid day in Maine. Not many views with the white haze floating around at every vista. It¢s so hazy that even the noon day sun doesn¢t burn it away. Visibility is about 15-20 miles at the most.The first good vista was an overlook of Horns Pond campground. The area here at the pond is swampy. I¢ve heard there¢s a moose that lives here. Pony is already there when I arrive. Pony is getting the scoop on the area from the Caretaker. No spring water available here, it¢s dried up. The only source of water for this campsite is the pond. The pond is where a moose resides so I think I¢ll get my water somewhere else. I¢m out of water but I believe I can make it 0.3 miles to the boxed spring.I checked the register to find out what Cheeseburger has been up to. He¢s still gripping in the shelter log about his foreigner visa expiration. The German is worried that he¢ll get in trouble for overstaying his 6 month time limit. He also had an encounter with a porcupine. The rodent was chewing on ¢his shelter¢ when he got up in the middle of the night to run it off. The porcupine was chewing on the salty edges of the shelters wooden floor. Cheeseburger is not far ahead of me and I wonder if I¢ll ever see him again.Pony and I sit around for a while waiting on the moose. Pony would later tell me that he saw an entire moose family just a few moments after I left the campsite. I considered taking a nap there at the shelter but I was thirsty. I needed water and then maybe I¢ll find a nice spot. I didn¢t sleep well last night and now I¢m tired. Pony took a long nap there at the shelter and wouldn¢t awaken until 2pm.Not far up the trail I found a wooden lid over a metal box full of water. The water tasted so delicious! It was cold and pure. My parched throat reveled in bliss with each raspy swallow of water. Today is my hottest day in Maine. I drank a ton of water with my yogurt covered pretzels. I took a nap by the trail after drinking enough water. I was 10 feet from the spring. Lying on my side with the mat underneath me felt so amazingly comfortable. I was almost asleep when Backward and Conan caught up. They left quickly and I resumed my nap.I¢m not sure how long I slept but it was very satisfying! I was so refreshed when I awoke. I¢m charged up for my assault on Avery¢s peak! I¢m ready for the rally up the rest of this huge ridgeline. 2500ft over 7 miles didn¢t seem to be difficult. Not hard only in theory at least.West Bigelow and Avery Peak were some of the most amazing views on the entire trail. Looking south at the mountains I¢d already completed left me with a sense of pride and relief. We¢ve been told that the trail will become easier soon after the Bigelows. From this higher perspective I can tell that I¢d been climbing the spine of an enormous ridgeline. The tree line and haze is obscuring my views but I can tell it¢s very similar to Franconia.I mistook the West Peak summit for Avery Mountain. I was videoing my assent and realized I was mistaken when I zoomed in on the sign. This isn¢t Averi¢s Mountain yet, I¢ve got further to go! My intention is to capture the moment so one day my little sister can see her very on mountain in Maine!Backward was resting on a log at the Avery mountain campsite. She¢s waiting on Conan who¢s searching for a water source. They didn¢t get water at the boxed spring where I¢d taken a nap. Now they¢re out of water. Conan returns just as empty as they are thirsty. They split up water fetching chores so they only search for water 50% of the time. Today is Conan¢s turn and they¢re having trouble finding any at all. They seem a little frustrated by the lack of water, heat and the chaffing lips caused by the windy conditions here. I keep quiet to avoid making their situation worse. I offer them my water but they refuse. When the next water source was dry they were screwed. They have to make it to Safford without any water at all.Backward is also bummed that I¢ve stopped carrying my feathers. She recovered my turkey vulture feather from Poplar Ridge lean-to. She tied the feather to her pack and brought it to me, but I discarded it intentionally. The wind whips the feathers around so violently on the alpine ridge lines. The feathers blow around and get stuck, poking me in the back. Not to mention the amount of thought required not to crush the edges of the feather when you sit the backpack on the ground. Keeping up with those feathers were a full time job. You even have to concern yourself with where the pack is placed inside vehicles when you hitch hike or take shuttles. It¢s an incredible commitment that isn¢t worth the effort. I tell Backward that I appreciate her bringing the vulture feather back but I¢m not carrying them anymore. Despite the cool factor, they¢re not worth it.The wind is relentless here on this ridge today. I¢m barely able to stand up at times. I¢ve had to resort to a kneeling position during the gusts. The straps on my backpack are smacking me in the face. They hit me so hard you can hear them pop. One of the loose straps hits me in the ear. It¢s so cold that it stings like someone with big fingers thumped my ear. I get frustrated when I have to tie down all the loose ends that are beating me in the face. The video I took from Avery¢s peak was hilarious. I could hear the roaring wind causing feedback in the recording. The microphone on the camera really captured the gale force wind that I was experiencing. You can even tell that it was pushing me off balance. Averi will enjoy seeing that video one day and laughing at my misfortune. The climb up Avery¢s peak is phenomenal! Flagstaff Lake is gigantic! It takes up the entire eastern side of the Bigelows. The Bigelows are probably 12 miles long so that¢s a monstrous Lake! Got my video of the summit just before day hikers parked their behinds right beside the sign. I was preoccupied with repairing my camera again. I¢d used a wood stick as my camera tool and it broke off inside the housing. I can¢t take pictures because there is a wood splinter in the trigger hole. There¢s a sweet shelter with a door on top of Avery. Shelters with doors mean trouble. In theory this place would make for a wonderful sunrise¢¦if you survived the night.Avery Peak is just as beautiful as it is ugly when you descend from the ridge. I¢m glad that I didn¢t take a long break because I needed all the light left in the day. Through the tangled mess of rocks and ravines I caught up with Backward and Conan who were talking to a very strange man. The man introduced himself as ¢Suicidal¢. That¢s a fantastic trail name. ¢Hello, I¢m Suicidal!¢ That¢ll get you lots of friends. He¢s seemed legitimately insane. Suicidal has an aluminum cast on his hand. His hand is in a cast but he¢s using two trekking poles. He claims to be thru-hiking SOBO. Suicidal started two months ago and was severely injured in the 100 mile wilderness. He broke both legs and his wrist. Two months later he¢s trying it again but we all think he¢s going to die. He¢s already complaining about how difficult Maine is, but he has no idea what he¢s in for. We all suspect that he¢ll die or quit before he gets out of the first state.I caught up with Backward and Conan by the 2000 mile mark. Hard to believe! Go me! I¢ve started to feel like I¢m ready to be finished. I¢m ready to go home now. I got the badge and now we¢re putting the icing on the cake.It¢s been a long day with incorrect mileage. It has been hot. Today I experienced my first bugs since entering Maine. Conan and I marvel at the sweet camp spots found beneath huge boulders on the way to Safford. We pass drafts from rock holes that blow cold air on our legs like refrigerators. We¢re tempted to sleep by these cool spots. If only we had water we¢d stay there. Suicidal told us there¢s water at the campsite so we¢re very relieved to know we¢ll have liquids for dinner. There are several places for an individual to sleep beneath the shelter of a rock suspended in the air.Seeker¢s already at Safford campsite. Pony comes in late. Seeker¢s paranoid and trying to scare us into hanging our food bags, but¢¦I¢m not giving up my pillow!