Date: 2014-04-12
To: It's 2:47 AM
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: few clouds

I always wait until the last minute to do things. It's what I do. It may not be the best way or the "right way", but I eventually get everything done. Preparing for the Appalachian Trail hasn't been much different but it is obviously a much bigger monster than writing a paper (those of you who know me well enough know that papers are pretty big monsters for me) so I did have to start many things ahead of time. Doing research, buying gear, preparing food and boxes and generally preparing to live outdoors and hike for six months demands a lot of time. And with (less than) two days left, while just about all of that is done, I still have minor things to do like re-write down all of my motivational notes somewhere. I say minor but it's probably the most important thing that will help me out there. When I'm cold, tired, and in pain and all these physical obstacles try to overtake me, my mind will need a boost and reminder of why I am doing this. This came about as a result of reading a book (the best AT prep book) called Appalachian Trials. It¢s about how to handle the hardest part of the trail: the emotional and psychological aspect. Zach Davis insists that readers make these three lists and carry them along on the trail to refer to at any and all times but especially when feeling a little defeated. So without further ado, here are my lists:I am thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail because...- I want to embark on the adventure of a lifetime- I want to grow as a person and become mentally stronger- I want to be completely self-reliant and confident in myself and my abilities- To discover things about myself that I never knew existed- I¢m tired of home life and being sucked away by a computer- I have no direction in life; I have endless directions- I want to go backpacking and learn new skills- I want to make new friends with similar outlooks on nature and living- It has been a goal of mine to complete before I turn 30- I have nothing holding me down in life to do this right NOW; I don¢t know about the future- I want to prove people wrong and stick to my commitment though many do believe in me- I always wanted to spend a semester adventuring abroad so this is my six months of fresh air and beautiful views- Why NOT?!When I successfully thru-hike the Appalachian Trail, I will...- Be more proud of myself and my abilities than any words could ever describe- Have a positive outlook on others, myself, and life- Not be afraid to be on my own, especially in the woods at night- Have a clearer direction in life- Not be a quitter or prove anyone¢s doubts right- Have an incredible story to tell forever- Have overcome the biggest challenge of my life, which is saying a lot- No longer be passive or afraid to be myself and say what I feel- Have accomplished a feat that so few people in the world ever will ¢ as a woman, sober, and vegan- Be more grateful for what I have-Reach a purer, more natural state of existence; only stress out when it¢s warrantedIf I give up on the Appalachian Trail, I will¢¦- Have to tell everyone and feel ashamed- Not believe in myself- Continue to be a quitter of passions in my life- Be settling- Put myself down and remain negative and bitter- Not know what to do with myself at home- Lose self-confidence and become apathetic- Allow others to see me as a failure and weak-minded- Have wasted so much time, energy, and money (my own and others¢)- Be depressed, unhappy, and full of regret- Not utilize any of my potential- Not follow through with any worthwhile challenge in life (relationships, moving somewhere, a new job)- Just want to escape on a big adventure anyway- Miss it and likely attempt it again so why not persevere the first time? Now, that last part is obviously a little extremist and I don't wholly believe all of them. However, if thinking of ridiculous extreme consequences and making myself believe them can help me push through all the shit I'm going to face and keep on walking, I'm all for it. Even if some of the other things weren't true either, the main idea is that the mind has incredible power to control us and the more we mentally prepare ourselves, the stronger we will be in facing those inevitable hard times. After reading countless blogs and articles, I accumulated many more motivational reasons and quotes from others. Here are a few of my favorites:¢I did it simply because I wanted to and I could. So many people spend their lives talking about the things they would like to do one day and never actually get around to doing them.¢¢Because the paycheck you earn at each vista, lasts longer than the one you earn at the office.¢¢To figure out what is important and live life without excess.¢ ¢If there was money to be won, no one would quit, but the prize at the end is immeasurably more worth pushing on for.¢"People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result.""Giving up on your goal because of 1 setback is like slashing your other 3 tires because you got 1 flat."However, the words of encouragement from my family and best friends will be the ones that push me most. You all know who you are and I love you and thank you for your support.¢Don¢t you dare give up! I don¢t want to hear those words coming out of your mouth.¢¢When you finish, you¢ll get a trophy.¢¢I know you will make it. You are the strongest and most motivated person I know. I have no doubt you will finish the trail and have the best time of your life.¢"You have to. You have to do it all. Don't quit." "I'm sure you can do it and I don't think you'll quit. I believe in my Jojo - tall, beautiful adventurer.""I know you have the strength in you to do it. This is going to be an AMAZING and life changing experience ...and I don¢t know anyone better mentally equipped and strong enough to follow through with it <3" "Get it." (In response to "I will have accomplished a feat that so few people in the world ever will ¢ as a woman, sober, and vegan")I know no one ever feels completely ready before his or her attempt at a thru-hike. Nerves and thousands of thoughts fill our heads in the last few days or weeks leading up to that moment when we see that first white blaze and it all becomes real. Those frantic thoughts dissipate. It¢s now you (a few handfuls of other people) and nature, and every dirty, shitty trick she has up her sleeve to throw at you, and every beautiful sunset, sunrise, view, dry day, and experience that makes it all worth walking on for. I¢m as ready as I¢ll ever be for it.