Date: 2015-02-27
To: Whys and Fears
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: few clouds

I have 16 days until I head to GA. Im still in the final stages of wrapping up my life here and getting everything set to go. It¢s a bit daunting to try and put your life on hold for 6 months. As the date of my start looms closer I am definitely feeling some anxiety. A lot of people have asked me about the whys and the fears of my hike, I feel like I should finally get it written out.Why am I hiking the AT? Well, because I want to. I honestly want to see if I can do this. I have no illusions; I know it is not going to be easy. Not only physically challenging but mentally as well. I know I will come back a different person and I am ok with that. I am hiking because I love to be outside. I love nature, fresh air and pure beauty of the outdoors. There is nothing quite like the sound of the silence when you are lying out under the stars at night or watching the sun rise over the meadow, listening to the birds chirp and the forest wake up as you are walking along.I am hiking because I want to experience life. I want to see and learn and do as much as possible. I have a very curious and wanderlust soul. I don¢t want life to pass me by. I am tired of saying I want to do this and I want to go there. I am tired of the excuse that I can¢t take the time off work to do things. I am just tired to the 9-5 crap. I don¢t want to be on anyone¢s time clock but my own. I am hiking because I want to be fit. There is no way to complete a thru hike and not be in better shape than when you started. My job does keep me somewhat in shape but there is an extra 30 pounds of gummi bears and chocolate around my midsection that I would like to get rid of. Am I afraid? Hell yes! I am afraid I¢ll get eaten by a bear, that I¢ll fall and break my neck, that I¢ll freeze to death at night, that I will run out of water and die of thirst, that I will be attacked and murdered, that I will get lost, that I¢ll run out of food and starve. I am terrified that I will get on the trail and then quit the next day. I am terrified that I won¢t be able to finish, that I won¢t be able to summit Katahdin. I am terrified of the dark recesses of my mind, hahaha. I know the likelihood of me being eaten by a bear is very, very small. I plan to hang my food in a bear bag. I won¢t go chasing after any bears I see. If I leave them alone, they will leave me alone. I know I have warm clothes and a warm sleeping bag so I should be fine and not freeze to death. I know there are other hikers starting around the same time I am so I can always snuggle up with someone in a shelter for more warmth, hahaha. With the amount of people that are starting around the same time, I know eventually someone will come across my broken, bleeding body if I fall and die, but I don¢t plan on that happening. It¢s a very tight knit community and everyone watches out for each other. I have common sense. If the weather is bad I won¢t hike. If I get a weird vibe from someone, ill get away from them. I won¢t try to do any back flips into a pond for fun-sies. I know I am as prepared for this as I can ever be. The only thing left is to get out there and try. I¢m not the type of give up at all. I know I can do this, I just have to stop worrying!