Date: 2008-02-11
To: View Entry
Miles today: 0.0

   Hey there. I am pleased to announce that I officially (mostly because I decided that it is official and not because we said it in so many words) have someone following my journal who is 1) not related to me, 2) Not a friend of mine (physically speaking of course) 3) not a co-worker 4) a fellow hiker and 5) can actually relate to what I am planning to do. She said she was really excited about my journal and I can honestly say that I agree with her. I am pretty excited too. Thank you for your support CB, I appreciate it!   This week has been up in the air and I am beginning to get nervous. I was really excited to hike with this girl from New York but I e-mailed her on Tuesday saying something to that effect and I haven't gotten a response. Needless to say my excitment has morphed into reluctant anxiety. I keep telling myself that she is busy and doesn't have access to a computer so her delay is understandable but it has been a week and my start date is 18 days away. Considering this I put a couple threads up on Whiteblaze asking for women who are interested in having a buddy on the trail to contact me. I am hopeful that the delay just means my almost-partner is sick or unable to type because I would prefer to go ahead with someone I seem to have a lot in common with. So, I put up the threads not because I am giving up on her, but because I am trying to cover all of my bases.    I am a big believer in Fate (and knocking on wood) so I am sure that if this match is meant to be I will be contacted, and if it wasn't part of my destiny something else will turn up. I know that I will be okay in the end *Knock on wood* regardless of what happens because I trust myself and have confidence in my ability to react well to things that happen in my life. In the end, isn't Fate a faith in one's self and one's ability to react quickly and confidently to life's occurences?   I refuse to worry.   I'm Minnesotan, I have learned that no matter the snow storm, the snow always melts in the end.   Take that and chew on it.   On a more positive note my mom and I went shopping today for the rest of my gear and food. I am planning to have one mail drop every seven days for the first month because by then hopefully I will be acclimated enough to have more simple fare and not feel deprived. As it is I have Indian food, chili, couscous and so much more. Buying food was just one more step to cement the reality of this venture in my mind.    From what I have read so far, I have a feeling that this walk is not going to be as simple as walking up steep hills here at home. So many people quit after thirty miles and that worries me because I feel like the hills here in Minnesota, if I were to walk up them for 30 miles, wouldn't even make me break a sweat. My training may not count for anything. That doesn't motivate me to keep going like I should. But I will do it anyways because as I said in another journal, I won't let myself stop me from succeeding. I refuse to convince myself that my efforts to prepare are wasted just so I can justify not doing anything at all. This means I will be working out even if my Inner Sarah says it won't do any good. Maybe my walks are one of those busy work activities I seem so fond of but I think that once I get on the Trail, if I am inclined to quit, the preparation work I commited meself to will help convince me that I worked 'too hard' and 'too long' to quit before my thirty days is up. Does that sound sane to you? I am so ready for this challenge and it feels good to finally have my parents' support in something life-altering that I plan to do.    Buying food with my mom today was really fun. It was like shopping with my best friend and it made my trip that much more important. My mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday on the 28th and I told her to give me something that means something to her that I can take with me. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. My dad got me a great flash light that is really bright and won't run out of power cuz it has 5 different bulbs in it rather than only one. *knock on wood*      Now that I have written three journals, I exist on trail journals. I think that means I am shown on the roster and that I have an active account or something. I am not sure but it is still pretty exciting to be able to say for the first time that I exist as a hiker in other people's eyes as well as my own.      I love you.Like damn, I'm from Minnesota, land of the cold airToo many mosquitoes and our fair share of egosBut like my man Sabe says, that's where my mommy staysSo if the people laugh and giggle when you tell em where you liveAnd if you know this is where you wanna raise your kidsIf you're from the Midwest and it doesn't matter whereIf you can drink tap water and breathe the airSay shhh, say shhh   --Crash Into Things