Date: 2015-07-29
From: Mt Cube Sugar Farm

To: Beaver Brook Shelter
Miles today: 17.6
Weather: light rain

I just did the math and I can't believe I only covered 17.6 miles of trail today. These freaking mountains are killing me!My life continued to be awesome this morning, as I woke up alone in a strange place and went to a real bathroom and wandered into a real kitchen to make REAL PANCAKES (it wasn't a dream!)I used Mt. Cube Sugar House's own pancake mix, PLUS cinnamon from my oatmeal and an apple from Jeralyn that I had hoarded away. And on top?! REAL maple syrup. From the trees I could see out the window. All that nice tree sap, collected by taps drilled into the trees, shunted down tubes through the forest to a tank behind the sugar house, and boiled down into sweet deliciousness, made my tummy very happy.I hate to admit that I usually ate fake syrup growing up, even if the real stuff was available. That high fructose corn syrup agreed with my taste buds more. I was pleased to have Mt. Cube syrup today. I climbed that mountain!I felt a little bad about devouring pancakes without asking Jimmy if he wanted any, but didn't want to bother him. Also I didn't want him to bother me. He came into check on me and chat last night as I was "reading" (okay I was half asleep and rolled over pretending to read when I heard him approaching).He left and came back. He left and came back. He seems like an awesome guy. He also seems bored and lonely out here with nothing to do but work. Okay, he TOLD me that he is bored and lonely. He also mentioned his ex-wife, and that he "needs a woman" and told me that lots of people take zeros here, and I would be more than welcome to stay longer if I wanted to.Borderline awkward.I thanked him graciously and told him that I had to head out early because I need to meet my parents in a couple of days, so I need to get to Franconia notch. Also, I might die of boredom here, too.I lack the ability to sit still. Until after hiking is finished and chores are done, anyway... after that I am 100% ready to crawl in my tent, even if it's only 6:00.However, the rest of the time, I always feel the need to be busy. It's bad. I have to learn to relax more and slow down more and enjoy things more. I am making progress with this, though! Before hiking with Chris, I would never take long breaks, but I do all the time now. Some of his good habits rubbed off on me.After pancakes and packing, I waited in front of the sugar house to see if Jimmy would ever show signs of life. He said he usually starts working around 7, and it was close to that time. I was getting a little anxious to get back to the trail (okay, my attempts to learn patience fail me, I was REALLY anxious and a little frustrated). Last night he had offered me a ride back to the trail, and I told him that I wanted to leave early. I couldn't be mad, though, because he WAS offering me a free ride. At the same time, I didn't want to wait, and considered just starting to walk down the road towards the trail.There were things to do! Woods to be walked! Mountains to climb! I wanted the option of being able to put in a long day if I wanted to, and it seemed as though this option was quickly slipping through my pancake-buttery fingers. What if I decided to climb Mt Moosilauke?! I was really feeling the possibility. I was inspired to reach new heights. I wanted to GO.But there was no sign of Jimmy.I didn't know what to do. Knock on his trailer? Awkward. What if he was asleep? What if he wasn't wearing pants?! What if he was waiting for me to knock on his trailer door so that he could invite me inside for a cup of coffee and try to convince me to stay another day?! I did NOT want that.Should I just wait? I really didn't want to walk two miles on the road. Frustrating. I am not good with decisions!I walked around the back of the sugar house and looked for signs of life. I didn't hear any noise coming from the camper.So I took off. I felt guilty, not saying goodbye, but time was being wasted and I WANTED TO CLIMB MOUNTAINS.I walked the 1.9 miles back to the trail in the 80° morning sunlight on hot tarmac. It sucked. I heaved a sigh of relief when I finally entered the woods and the shade, the drop in temperature hitting me like a wave.At the trailhead, I noticed that there was a bag of comics tacked onto the signpost in a baggie marked "FREE". I had picked one of these comics up on Monday afternoon at another road crossing. Someone must be distributing them along the trail. The one that I picked up was downright trash about sin and AIDS and how Christianity can save you.I do not in the slightest believe that '"The gay community fulfills Christ's prophecy by terrifying politicians, strong-arming the media, and creating little sodomites in our school system."How do people come up with this stuff?I was very pleased to find that someone had ripped all of this morning's comics in half. I hope that God would be too.After passing by said comics, I powered on, north up the trail. Mt Moosilauke was calling me! It was like Red Panda of Georgia had been revived inside me. I had SO MUCH ENERGY. Frustration and determination are the best fuel, better even than M&Ms and Powerade.I encountered a sobo (I am abbreviating southbound from now on, because I am sick of typing it) hiker who was wearing what looked like a homemade paisley skirt. The back was all worn out and tattered. I chuckled as I watched him pass by.And then they kept coming! I passed SO MANY PEOPLE today, headed both north and south. The trail is so crowded.I passed Dave, the slow gray-haired gentleman from yesterday. He was continuing to hike at an incredibly slow pace. He asked me questions as I passed, and I slowed to answer and talk, itching at the sluggish pace. As soon as I was able, I sped on. Motivation burned within me. I have to take advantage of that while I can.Luckily, when I reached Ray a mile later, he had already found someone to talk to. I breezed between them, tossing out greetings and goodbyes, only slowing a little to avoid getting sucked into a conversation I didn't want to be a part of.Hikers talk about hiking. 95% of the time, when people stop to talk to me, it is about the trail. They tell me things that I didn't ask about, things that I could easily discover for myself, and things that I honestly don't really care about. And instead of pursuing my inclination to save myself wasted time and just walk away, I smile and thank them, because they are just trying to be helpful.Tonight, for example, I passed the sobo Highlander two miles south of my destination shelter. He was singing as he hiked and paused as I navigated a mud puddle in front of him.And he talked. And I had to listen.I was tired. I was hungry. I wanted to be able to SIT. I did not care in the least that he had smelled a privy smell but wasn't sure if he'd passed the shelter. I didn't care to relearn details about the huts in the Whites that I had already gleaned from my guidebook. I really didn't care that he had lost weight (though I was a little jealous) and was no longer wearing the skirt (he used the word skirt, not kilt) that had earned him his trail name.One of my trail friends once said, "Thru-hiking would be better without so many thru-hikers."I hate this sentiment. I love thru-hikers. Everyone out here is awesome! At the same time, I am getting overwhelmed by all of the people on the trail lately. Luckily most of them pass by with a cheery greeting and move on. If I stopped to talk to everyone, I would never get anywhere!I got to Glencliff way before the post office would open so decided to not bother with my mail drop. I have just enough food to make it (although right now I really, really wish that I had some M&Ms... my trail mix is basically just almonds now). I wanted to have the box forwarded but I NEVER HAVE SERVICE out here in the boonies (not that this is always a bad thing), so I might see if I can pick it up with mom and Dan. It depends on what vehicle they bring, and if they are willing to take an extra trip.I stopped for lunch at Jeffers Brook Shelter. I had pasta with tuna from Brian (thank you!!) and Thai sauce. It was excellent.Then I had to make another decision: if I should keep going or not. I was debating Mt Moosilauke, and trying to figure out how far to go today, and what options I had for tomorrow. Basically, there were only two places to meet my favorite trail angels: Kinsman Notch or Franconia Notch. To meet at the former meant two short days (not my style). To meet at the latter meant two longer days. But if they were going to arrive early, I wanted to be able to meet them early.Are you confused? I was confused. I had no freaking idea what to do. I had no idea what their plans were and no way to contact them.It was so early that I decided to just go for it. I wanted to climb that mountain. I wanted to feel the breeze, to break out above the treeline and see the sky spread out above me.About two miles later I realized it might not have been the best choice. As I walked through the sun and the heat, I felt tired. I struggled. I was soaked with sweat and chafing. The summit was distant. How would I be able to make it? The trail was just going to get steeper and more difficult. My post-lunch energy boost seemed pitiful, barely existent.Side story: today's chafing was SO HORRIBLE that I stopped about 0.2 miles past my lunch shelter and applied Body Glide. Much to my crotch area's continued severe irritation, this did not help. So I took off my panties. I was that mad at my raw, rubbing, red skin thanks to my new fat deposits that I gave into desperation and just peeled the suckers off my sweaty cheeks.Thus liberated, I was slightly more comfortable. For a while. It did not fully solve the issue. Buckets of sweat oozed out of me and cascaded down onto the trail today. Nothing could save me from copious amounts of chafing. Ugh. My butt hurts Anyway, as I started up Moosilauke, I felt exhausted and started to regret it. I second-guessed myself. What if I had made the wrong choice? What if I was screwing up my schedule and would end up keeping mom and Dan waiting? What if they wouldn't be able to find me? What if I couldn't possibly drink enough to keep myself from passing out due to dehydration and rolling my way back down the mountain?! I didn't want to have to climb it twice!Luckily my phone picked up service as I ascended and I was able to talk to the pizza fairy long enough to learn that he and mom wouldn't arrive until 2 or 3. So going up Moosilauke today and getting to Franconia Notch tomorrow was a good plan after all (or at least not terrible... but definitely the better of my two choices). Feeling better and realizing that I still had PLENTY of time to slug my way uphill, I told myself, "You are here to climb mountains! You know your body can do it! Suck it up and climb!"And I did. Slowly, but surely. And as I climbed it got easier. My body got used to it. My feet carried me just as they have carried me for the last 1790+ miles (yikes, that number!). It seemed like it took forever, but eventually I got to the point where I looked out to my right, and saw an amazing view between the trees. "I am SO HIGH UP!" I marveled as I gazed out over the mountainsAnd the end of the climb was fantastic. The trail travels along a ridge line, a thick strip of trail bordered on both sides by strips of trees and then, beyond... nothing! You can look out to either side and just see sky almost right beside you. It was incredible.And then, the trail broke out above the treeline onto the grassy mountaintop. Cairns, piles of stacked rocks, guided me onward towards the summit. I always use the same adjectives... Beautiful, amazing, glorious...Mt Moosilauke was all of these things. An amazing view, an amazing blue sky, an amazingly gentle breeze... All of these greeted me at the summit, a reward for the climb. And I stood and looked and sucked in deep breaths of mountain air and was grateful that I had chosen to make the climb today. It filled my heart in the best of ways. It sparked an excitement for the Whites. So many more mountains await me!Of course, even though I took a dozen pictures and asked a girl at the summit to take my picture, my phone seems to be on the fritz and hasn't saved my pictures! I wanted to text them to my parents...but NOPE. I am extremely disappointed. No way to prove my climb. No way to share a tiny bit of the awesome I experienced today. I swear it happened, though! A steep, slow descent brought me to the shelter, which was busy when I arrived but is now quieter, as many have moved on. I pitched my tent and cleaned up. I cooked dinner, hing my food bag, and did mile math. And soon it will be time to read and sleep. Tomorrow is another day! Another mountain is soon to be conquered! Another pizza will hopefully be eaten!I am thankful for mountains that teach me lessons. I am thankful for pancakes and kindness from amazing people. I am thankful that my body is always stronger than I expect... I am lucky to have it, bulky and abused as it is. I am thankful that I will be with family tomorrow (and still get in a good hike) and can have hugs!