Date: 2014-05-08
From: Atkins VA

To: Lynn Camp Creek
Miles today: 14.8
Weather: clear sky

This post is going to be a bit different from my other posts... So I have to admit that I've been struggling out here for quite some time now - despite my positive journal writings. Don't get me wrong - I've had an amazing time out here so far, I've just had some issues of my own that were preventing me from enjoying my hike as much as I possibly could. My original idea in wanting to do this hike was to live in the woods. I wanted to learn more about myself and experience something I had never really experienced before through nature. I wanted to meet people and learn new things about different places. I wanted to experience life outside of the comforts of home. Though I have done all of these things, there have been many times where I haven't been enjoying it as much as I want to be. While I've been out here, I have had the end game in my head the whole time: Maine. I was always so focused on getting to the end, and felt that I was trying to rush my journey. I wasn't stopping to enjoy the little things. I would not introduce myself to people because I figured I would never see them again because I wanted to hike fast and put in big miles. My problem was that I felt that I needed to get somewhere. I also grew very tired of hiking because of this.I did it too long every day without stopping really, and would get to campsites early in the day and then go to bed early.It goes much deeper than what I've wrote already, but I'm just summing it up... Basically, though, I have decided that Maine is no longer my goal on this journey. I have admitted to myself that I'm not completely happy out here, though I want to be! I want to involve myself more in the trail - not just focus on getting the trail done. I've realized that I don't HAVE to finish the trail this summer. I want to start going with the flow and enjoying nature more. I don't know exactly what this means, or how far I will go for how long, but I have realized it's totally okay if I don't finish the whole trail in one go. I'm going to hike until I don't want to hike anymore. There's a cliche saying out here: Hike your own hike. I'm going to start making this my hike. I have forgotten why I wanted to journey in the first place, and I want that back.That being said, I don't know when my journey on the AT will end. It could be next week, it could be in 2 months - I'm just going to take it day by day and start being a little more spontaneous. I may even get off the trail, and get back on later this summer after a break!If and when I do get off the trail, my journey will not be over. I have allotted some time and money for this, and will continue to use both those on continuing my adventure elsewhere! I have backpacked so far, and I may want to try a new activity instead! I want everyone to know that this is not a bad thing! I'm much happier now that I don't have the pressure of the entire Appalachian trail anymore. I'm going to make this the best summer, and will enjoy it much more now!I'm sorry if this disappoints anybody, but its just what I need. I will finish the trail, it just might be in more sections later in life! I'm very proud of what I've accomplished already out here, and will never be upset if I don't finish. Like I said, this is a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has helped me to do this adventure, and everyone who has been with me while I was trying to figure out how to go about the rest of this summer. The support has been incredible. I'm very happy now. Now, to the real journal:Today was a great day. Nathan and Steve dropped me off at where we stopped hiking at about 9 this morning. I thought I would feel more lonely after them leaving, but I ended up feeling fine. About 2 miles in, I ran into some guys I had stayed around at previous shelters who were just hanging out at their campsite from the night before. I hung out and chatted with them for about an hour and then decided to start hiking again. The day got very hot, but it was still pleasant hiking. There were a lot of climbs, but so many beautiful cow pastures, mountains, and streams that made it worth it. Virginia is beautiful. I was able to really relax and just take the day slow. I also ate a lot of dandelions - something I've learned I can consume a lot of to get my veggie intake while I'm out here! I felt like I hiked 18 miles today though - still regaining my trail legs after taking time off!Tonight I'm staying at a cool campsite that has a nice stream next to it. I love camping next to streams - it is very relaxing to go to sleep next to. Once I set up camp I sat on a rock in the middle of the stream and read my book for about an hour. There are some other people I know that are staying here, so the company is really nice. One of them has a guitar and is playing lightly in the background. It's a nice night!