Date: 2016-01-05
To: Resolutions and Wishes
Miles today: 0.0

I want to hear less about what you're against, and more about what you're for. And how you go about supporting your beliefs. I want to hear about your faith, not your self-righteousness. I want more dogs and less dogma. I want less self-declared-victimhood and more self-actualization - the only common denominator in anyone's life is them self. I want more helping hands, eager ears and open hearts. I want more stories - less of them, more of us; more of you, your truth, your story. I want to hear paradoxes ringing from the rooftops and raining down to minds ready to devour and philosophize and empathize. I want less selfies and more selves - the authentic ones, the ugly ones, the ones where your smile actually reaches your eyes and where your heart of hearts is on display. I want less fear, more faith. I want to surround myself with people open to my observations; from here on I refuse to badger anyone into listening to me - my time is precious and my energy is limited. I want to try new things and buy fewer. I want to make better financial decisions; I know full well life can turn on a dime and a rainy day can catch you off guard - an umbrella is crucial. I want to jump in more puddles but stop rolling in the mud with pigs. I want to scroll less and laugh more. I want to read soul stretching and eye opening books, memoirs, novels. I want to write, to quell the fear, to push down the voice of perfection and simply let it out. I want to play with my kids more and find more quiet moments for myself. I want to love my husband more intentionally: with each passing year I take note of how special our bond is, how beautiful a life entwined with another can be - we are each others' top priority, cheerleader and confidante. I want more patience: with myself. With my kids. With my husband. With the world. And especially with Doc, bless his heart. I want more graciousness and less judgment. I want to be more vulnerable and less snappy. I want more sleep and I want to cherish these sleepless years more. I want more homegrown and more Homeland. I want to be still and know. I want bees. And chickens. And a goat for Melissa. I want to be an aunt and a daughter and granddaughter and a sister who calls just to say hi. I want to follow a thought to its completion and also be ok with the chance it may just slip-slide down a rabbit hole. I want to love my friends well and allow them to do the same for me. I want more chocolate. I want to be a hippie but only a reasonable one. I want to be well-thought-out and well-researched. I want to hear new ideas and not accept them, but authentically hear them just the same. I want to find that field and meet you there. I want to climb mountains and to swim in the sea. I want to plant a garden and I want to skydive. I want to get lost and I want to find myself. I want to be realistic and also maintain my na vet©. I want to love well, live hard, and fear not. I want to forgive, to let grace wash over me and to be baptized. I want to dance and stop wishing I could sing. I want to win at checkers and lose a few hands of poker. I want to dust myself off and let my light shine down. I want to become a nurse and to mend my own heartbreak. I want to let go of a desire to fix things and appreciate the beauty of a wisdom greater than my own. I want to let go of the pain of the past and immerse myself in the gift and beauty of the present. But if I *could* go back in time, most of all, I wish I could have said all of this whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. And I wish I could have said that I would never stop growing in my wishes for things to be, and also that who I am in this very exact moment is just fine, thank you. Ok. Maybe I could use a shower, but other than that, perfection.