Date: 2003-04-26
From: Hop Aboard the Hiker Train

To: Hop Aboard the Hiker Train
Miles today: 11.5

When a group of four or more hikers get together, they create a hiker train. This train is teaming with muscle, optimism and is headed for adventure and calamity! A certain type of energy is created by the joining of these forces. This energy can carry you over the extra miles that you wanted to hike. It's electricity can make you giggle and feel giddy and it can also land you on your butt. I don't know whether to say I have had the "honor to be in a hiker train" or that I "survived a hiker train." It's a little of both! In the last two days of the trail, prior to our temporary departure, we found ourselves in two different train. In the Fly, Smoothie, Guana, and Sonic train we steamed through 20 miles of Virginia mountains to get to the Partnership Shelter. What's special about Partnership Shelter - FOOD! Yes, a hiker's dream to be in a shelter where you can actually get a pizza delivered!! Thank you Pizza Hut!! So only 20 miles lie between us and Pizza - as we awoke that morning. The day started out as any hiking day. Guana and I hiked seperately and then together as did Fly and Smoothie. But in the last 4 miles of the hike we all bonded together to become this hiker train. While Fly scooted ahead of us, Smoothie, Guana and I hiked on each others' heals. And we knew that if we stopped, exhaustion would set in, so we didn't stop. We walked in unison...we walked close to each other and we were a hiker train. At the last mile, Fly decided to join the train and took up the position of the caboose, Smoothie was the engine with Guana and I in between.Now in order to appreciate what I am about to write, you have to understand one thing about over-exerting yourself physically for many hours in one day. You have to understand that your mind can imagine anything it wants at certain times.....in brief, you hallucinate!!! If you are so desperate to get off your feet and get to a shelter, you can find trees that look like they form a shelter or an outhouse. You can even hear voices at times and think you are near! Your mind manufactures these things to taunt you on to believing that the shelter is there or just around the next bend. It is true that the longest mile of the day is the one before you reach a shelter or your destination. For those of us who have been on the trail long enough, we are used to hallucinating, and so verification ....if another hiker is in site....is a natural part of the trail. And so it was that our hiker train was steaming towards the shelter. We didn't know if we had one mile left or less since we seemed to be traveling at this incredible speed. When suddenly Smoothie, the engine, thinks she sees the shelter and is so amazed that she not only comes to a dead stop but in fact leaps backwards to seek verification that she is actually seeing a shelter. What happened next was one of the funniest body slamming domino affects I have been in the middle of. It was definitely like something out of the "three stooges." As we were hiking so close, there was no time for stopping so Sonic slammed into Smoothie, then Guana into Sonic into Smoothie and luckily Fly derailed before a third slam took place. But yes, we all verified that we had arrived at the shelter - YEAH!The second train I was involved in was much larger than the first. The engine was Guana and the box cars were Anne, Hot Dog, Wench, Fly, Smoothie, and I was the caboose. Yes, a hiker train of 7 people. The Quest this day was to arrive at a Dairy Queen some 11 miles away from the Parnternship Shelter. Are you detecting a trend here? Hikers will go to great lengths for food! Especially something to which you do not have to add water and which someone else cooks and serves you. This train was different from the first. This was a giddy train - we were all just romping along - I mean 11 miles was nothing after 20 - and we weren't in a great hurry to get there except for the rain which moved us along now and then. People were walking and talking in pairs and getting to know each other. It was a lot of fun. Then we arrived at an old schoolhouse some 4 miles before the Dairy Queen. Inside the schoolhouse, which was a museum, we picked up another hiker. Michele, had driven to the Dairy Queen and hiked back to meet us. So we had all waited for each other there, taken silly photos in the schoolhouse and now 8, yes, 8 of us were steaming towards the Dairy Queen 4 miles away. Again, we were all hiking close together, the rain began threatening again and we could smell the Dairy Queen from there or so it seemed. This proximity of so many hikers to each other and to food causes a delirium! So we began to have some fun with hiking. Wench and I had left the last stopping point - a shelter - before the others. You have to understand that sometimes hikers just take out their food bags and can't get up from just sitting there and eating and eating. Since we were going into town, people wanted to lighten their loads and so they just kept eating. Well, Wench and I had had enough and since I am the slow poke of the group, I thought to get a head start. So Wench and I went ahead. We kept wondering when the others would catch up, so we kept looking back. Just when we could hear them, the woods opened to a beautiful grassy field. So Wench and I decided to throw ourselves on the ground and pretend like we had been waiting for them. They were so close that before I could get my backpack off, I just fell down backwards since we decided a reclining pose would look most like we had been there awhile. I also grabbed a bit of grass and chewed the end of it country style. The ploy worked and they were all amazed...for a half a second until Wench and I burst out laughing. So on the train of 8 continued. The next strange area we entered was electric. A huge electric tower buzzed with activity and believe it or not they blazed the Appalachian Trail to go right under it! So here we are, our hair standing on end, metal poles in our hands going under this huge tower. Anne thought for sure this wasn't healthy and I had to agree. Nonetheless, we passed without incident and the 8 steamed on.Over a hill, we got a glimpse of the Dairy Queen though it was still very far away! And so started more giddiness. We started trying to pass each other to get to the head of the line or train. I distracted Fly, who has a fascination with snakes, long enough to pass him by crying "look, is that a snake." Smoothie who also turned to look caught onto me and I was only able to pass Fly. Fly, soon passed me back and then Smoothie and Wench switched places. So the order was Smoothie, Wench and I in the back of the train. So while passing a bush sticking out in the path, Smoothie yells - "Heads Up" as a branch springs back towards Wench. As I am looking at it, I warn Wench that it is a pricker bush. At that moment the very end of the branch sticks on the edge of Wench's sleeve as she turns to get away from it. So here I am walking towards Wench when she lets loose the branch that had her sleeve. It happened all in slow motion. I saw Wench caught on the branch and then the branch let go of her shirt and then the branch started coming at my face. I backed up and turned quickly to avoid getting a pricker in my eye when the weight of my backpack pulled me backwards into the grass and prickers on the side of the trail. Crunch! I went butt down on some pricker bushes laughing all the while. Wench and Smoothie who saw the whole thing were laughing so hard they couldn't help themselves let alone me. Somewhere in the laughter, I told them I was sitting in prickers. I tried to help myself up but got more prickers in my hands. So I needed their help. One suggested I get out of my backpack (good idea) and get up. So with some help I got to my feet and we continued laughing. After several moments of delirious laughter, we continued on where Fly got his revenge on us by doing his scarey bear (or dog) imitation while emerging from nearby bushes. He got us all. We jumped!After all that, we started again on our path to the Dairy Queen and successfully and uneventfully arrived to our rendezvous with Ice Cream. So hikers beware - if you get into a hiker train it's likely to be both the most dangerous and hilarious of experiences you'll have.Keep on keepin' on - SONIC