Date: 2004-10-12
From: Millinocket

To: Home!
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: few clouds

WELL, I'm finished. Sitting here, in shock, stunned and saddened. The weather was perfect, the companions Class I, champagne bubbly, Knife's Edge challenging and a great way to close my hike with the Party Train. I'll elaborate more later, but just an update to those who are curious. Right now I'm trying to keep my head sane, realizing how uprooted and lost I am back in society. Culture shock's a bitch. I want the forest back. Yo-yo?Hiking up Katahdin with Munchkin and Cherokee, singing Every Rose has its Thorn. Seemed like ten minutes, and we were up above treeline, slick rocks and fine views, steeper and higher. Stopped for a break with Spincycle and Screamin Stephen and the crew. Soon enough, we were on Tablelands, and I found myself wanting to run up to the sign, distant in view but only blazes away. Terrapin and Goofy were hiking back down, they had a glow about them. I was counting my steps, stopped at Thoreau Spring and dipped my hands in, splashing my face and gulping. I realized after I left I didn't even fill my Nalgene. I had half a cup of Tang left. Reaching the sign was my moment of Zen- a final mania before my calm. I achieved what I had set out to do, and acquired faith, hope, love, wisdom, and peace of mind... somehow. It's like the Tao. All my emotions rolled, waved, and I myself was purged of everything except adreneline. And alcohol. We ate, we drank, we smoked, we laughed and cried. I fell over on a rock... my Tevas are barely holding form. The sun was pouring, the clouds were above for our mountain madness... Until we were descending. As soon as packs were on, the clouds lowered, darkened, the winds blew. The infinite sadness set.Hiking down was a blur, Sunshine and Stick scrambling in front, Coyote behind for awhile, we played tag for the back. Knife's Edge was fun, like a puzzle, throwing packs ahead and then seeking them out. I carried away three rocks: one from Springer, one from Katahdin, and my heart. Stronger than ever, I found myself down at the bottom, waiting for Coyote, watching the river flow and full of agua. We signed the register, hitched a ride in a red Ru, and I found myself mesmerized with the fast moving trees. Millinocket as was expected. We ate, we drank, we were merry. I met Boo Boo (again) and TrailDawg was there. We found a bike by the pavilion and it was broken. We talked to Glenda, the good witch. I found Apostle.. excuse me, Brood X, in the Blue Ox. We went back to his room in the nearby hostel, and with two warm beds, we watched the backs of our lids. The morning was sickening: the realization that I would wake up inside again, drive and work and pretend again, was no fun. All my family, the same old stories, lives, homes. My friends, boring. The trail so far away... driving away from everything I had come to know, with a stranger driving us there, to the cold dark 'real world'. Brood was a fine partner to hitch with, made me feel safe and calm. We got a ride from a crazy woman who cheated, a Nova Scotian running from the storm down to fish in Jersey, went to LL Bean, and ended up at his friends place in NH somewhere. We went to the mall, he bought some preppy clothes, I smelled like a hiker, still. He stayed, I strugged to leave. Got picked up by some creepy guy with a kayak and a trenchcoat, he ended up buying me a shortie of whisky and some BK. I hitched on the on-ramp til a Native American guy picked me up in his little car, drove me all the way to Cambridge and gave me $5 for the subway. I got on, overwhelmed with the city smell, taste, feel. My vision failed me like words do now. Ended up on a bus to NYC to visit my friend Lynn and the Chinese girl next to me was fighting with someone on her cell phone, along with fifty others behind and beside me. I wanted a shell to turtle in. Ended up in Port Authority after 10, went to a Chinese restaurant and had wontons and sesame chicken. Slept like a baby til morning when the traffic flow woke me- I bought Reds for 8.60, smoked like a champ on the balcony, looking at the World Trade Center debris. Disbelief- I am jaded. And determined to make others see the light.