Date: 2008-09-01
To: Questions and Answers
Miles today: 0.0

Well, it¢s 2:00 AM and I just decided to get up and write a long overdue journal entry. The thoughts started flowing, so I decided to get them on paper while they were still rational. To be honest, it's been quite difficult to express my thoughts with words. I know a lot of people say that but I certainly find it true in this case. After each one of Michael Phelps¢ gold medals, the NBC announcer always asked him how he felt like 30 seconds after he just proved himself as the best swimmer in the world. Each time he pretty much said ¢I have no idea what to say.¢ That¢s about the only honest answer. It may not get TV ratings but it¢s true. There aren¢t words to describe that. While I didn¢t win a gold medal (or 8), I¢m not modest enough to say that hiking the AT is not a great accomplishment. If someone asked me how I felt, I would probably answer the same way. There is no exciting answer, just as there is no clearly describable lessons learned. I think many prospective thru hikers (who are usually in a transitory period in their life) hope to have some type of epiphany regarding their future that will reveal all the answers. I did not have an ¢epiphany¢ nor did I expect to. Instead, I found that my learning paralleled my hiking. The lessons I learned were derived from the act of seeking them. They took a lot of hard work and patience to understand. They are not lessons that can be truly understood by reading one of my quotes or reading about them in a famous novel. Those things can guide but they can¢t teach. So, I could regurgitate a bunch of eloquent quotes of famous people to describe what I learned but it wouldn't do much good. Sooo, instead I¢ll set up a little Q&A for myself that will allow me to tell a bit about my experiences and you can determine for yourself if I¢ve learned anything (if you care). Q: Was it hard?A: Yes and no. Every day was hard. I can think of many things easier than hiking 20 miles a day with a loaded pack. Climbing up and down the Whites and Maine was damn hard. Hiking through an inflamed IT band in GA was hard. However, immersing myself into the thru hiker lifestyle was not hard at all. It felt incredibly natural. Essentially all the rules I had were self-imposed. That means I was full-heartedly CHOOSING to be out here. That made this entire trip incredibly easy in a sense. Q: Did you ever think of quitting?A: Never anything serious. Like I said above, I was choosing to be out here. I could have chosen to go home but I didn¢t. I had the perspective to know what an awesome time I was having. This is a once in a lifetime (hopefully not) opportunity that so few have the ability to attempt. Of course there were the ¢this sucks¢ moments but they were far outnumbered by the ¢holy crap this is awesome¢ moments. However, even if the number of crappy moments started edging out the good ones I absolutely knew from the beginning that I wasn¢t going to quit. I knew I was having a ¢real¢ time out there, which to me is far more important than whether or not I am having a good time. Q: What are you most proud of?A: I am immensely proud of that first step. In the age of instant gratification I had the balls to pull the trigger on something I¢ve wanted to do for a long time and made it happen. Something that doesn¢t have a measurable return on investment. Something that seems kind of odd at first glance. Something that requires a ton of hard work, time and money. Something that isn¢t normal. On trail, I kept thinking to myself how prepared I was for this trip. I was able to set myself up for a successful trip before I ever took a step on the AT. I had my packweight down. I had enough money. I had enough time. Most importantly I had the mindset. Q: What was your favorite moment on trail?A: Tough question. To me, ¢favorite¢ implies the moment that I enjoyed the most¢¦and that is impossible to answer. Not only can joy not be measured but I wouldn¢t remember it anyway. My favorite times on trail were the solo days. Days where I could be completely lost in my own thoughts and ¢wake up¢ 4 hours and 10 miles later. I am very comfortable in my own thoughts, which I value very highly. In terms of an actual moment, the Roan Highlands come to mind. I distinctly remember being the first one over the top of Hump Mountain in the morning with the clouds JUST clearing to reveal some gorgeous highlands. I remember actually dropping my jaw and audibly saying ¢Are you kidding me?¢ to myself. Q: Did you find the ¢truth¢ you were looking for?A: With a slight disregard for what I just wrote in the second paragraph, I¢ll give it a shot. First, that question sounds sooo¢¦western. It sounds as if I¢m on an Easter Egg hunt. It sounds like if you hike enough miles you will find a treasure chest full of fortune cookies and bumper stickers. Also, keep in mind that I don¢t like using the word truth for the same tacky reason but I¢ll do it anyway. First, I believe that all the truth we need resides within us already. It¢s not a matter of discovering it; it¢s a matter of understanding what is already there. It may seem like a subtle difference but it changes your perspective. We can understand what is already there by simplifying. By reducing clutter. By letting go of what does not matter. However, human lives are so full of lies (whether we are conscious of it or not) that our viewfinders are always jaded. That¢s where nature comes in. Nature has the advantage of being completely indifferent (in my opinion anyway). It is governed by the laws of physics. It has no morale code, no concept of right and wrong, no judgment calls it needs to make. Nature lives entirely in the present; taking it one step at a time. By immersing yourself into it you can learn from its beautifully simple indifference. Q: What advice would you give to someone thinking of doing the AT?A: Stop thinking about it and make a decision. If you really want to do it, it is up to you to make it happen. $5000, a commitment-free 5-6 months and good health all at the same time doesn¢t come around too often. Make a plan and take the risk. On a more practical note, get your pack under 30 pounds. It really does make a huge difference. If you want to hike 2000+ miles, you are camping to hike, not hiking to camp. Q: What next?A: School. Probably 2 years of it. I¢ll be at UNH finishing up a Chemical Engineering degree. To be honest, I¢m not exactly looking forward to it but I feel I have the motivation, confidence and discipline to make it happen. In terms of hiking, I certainly hope to get out there again. Besides the weekend trips, I would love to head out west someday. School takes priority right now but I can certainly see a PCT section or 2 in the future.