Date: 2015-04-12
To: Clingman's Dome
Miles today: 12.0

It is with tears in my eyes that I write this post. I have made one of the most difficult decisions of my life and that is to bring to a close my lofty goal of Thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. I made it as far as Clingmans Dome located within the Great Smokey Mountains National Park, which is the highest point in Tennessee, and the second highest point east of the Mississippi, a total of 200 miles. I did not fully understand nor did I completely comprehend the true effect that Parkinson¢s would have on me. It is one of those things in life that you have to experience in order to fully appreciate what you are intellectually hearing from those who have either been through similar ordeals or those who have studied and really understand the ramifications of the disease process. You see, A few days ago I began falling and actually hitting the ground either by slipping on the thick underbrush of wet pine needles, protruding or exposed rocks that I had to negotiate one way or another and then there were the exposed tree roots as well as the ones hidden by leaves. There were the numerous near falls in which I would recover just prior to hitting the ground. At one point I fell and went rolling end over end for about 3 revolutions before I came to a stop (hind-sight being 20/20 I guess it looked kind of funny). What was happening was my right leg did not function as part of a unified smooth gate; instead it was sort of dragging but yet it was functioning as part of a normal cadence. It seemed that I had to plop it down in front of me each and every time as a purposeful movement. I also did not realize that a lot of folks (of which I am one) with Parkinson¢s have a tendency to lean forward while walking and this did not bode well for a good balance while descending a mountain with a slope that at times would be 60 to70 and perhaps even 80 degrees for a relatively long period of time. All of this while sporting a 30 to 35 pound pack on my back that was participating in either pushing me down the mountain or pulling me back down the mountain while I was attempting to ascend. Every day Erin was doing more and more for me; setting up my tent, packing my bag, taking down my tent, fixing meals, getting water and purifying it, and encouraging me to put one foot after another. When I got cold my hands would shake so hard I could not hold anything. It was cold every morning and either wet and rainy or windy and rainy. So, Erin after several discussions with her mother decided it was time to have a heart to heart conversation about the reality of safety. After all this was not a do or die situation and Erin really was feeling that I was going to fall off a mountain and die. It was a dream and an effort to bring to light to the need for research dollars to discover either a cure or a way to stop the progression of this little known disease that everyone seems to know somebody with Parkinson¢s. I am choosing to look upon this as a success rather than a failure because I did make it 200 miles and to altitudes of 6000+ feet and I feel that I have brought Parkinson¢s Disease to the forefront, collecting dollars for research. In closing out this journal I wish to thank each and every one of you who donated to Dr Walter¢s research for the discovery of either a cure or a way to delay the effects of the disease process. I also thank you all so very much for your moral and emotional support through your prayers, thoughts and postings in my guestbook. They truly meant a lot to me and I will treasure them forever. Thank you.