Date: 2005-01-13
To: Did I mention I was ascaird of heights?
Miles today: 0.0

The day dawned gray and stormy. Temperatures dropped and snow swirled down from wind-bullied clouds. I was getting colder by the minute, and knew I might freeze if I didn¢t find a way down soon. So when the instructor hollered ¢Ok, who wants to go first?¢ I put up my hand. ¢Don¢t think about it; just do what he says¢ I told myself. ¢You¢ll be fine.¢ He beckoned me toward a small, aluminum step ladder set against the white-washed wall that surrounded the roof of the parking garage we were standing on. It was a four-story municipal parking lot in the historic town of Leesburg, Virginia ¢ a mere 20 miles or so from the Trail that I planned to hike one day, if I survived this one. It was more than 40 feet to the frozen ground below.I pushed the rope through my 8-bite, and fastened that to the carabineer already attached to my climbing harness, and double checked the gate to be sure it was screwed down securely. I waited patiently while he double-checked my gear, and meekly followed his instructions to climb up the ladder, stand on the wall, and then turn around and face him. I wondered if those about to die by hanging had my same thoughts of panic and despair. Facing me was the back of a large, black truck, an F-350, Super-Duty Ford. Attached to the truck¢s rear axel was a mass of ropes and gear, knotted and wrapped and wound through stainless steel contraptions that had every appearance of security. Behind me was --- infinity. I remember wondering if he had thought to set the parking brake on the truck¢¦. Flash Back: It¢s a hot July day in the summer of 1954. A skinny, sun-burned ten year old boy stands trembling near the edge of the board. It was ¢the high dive¢, and he¢d been dared. Double-dared, actually, so it was hard to say no. Nine gigantic feet above the water. ¢You can do it,¢ he told himself. ¢If the other guys can do it, you can do it.¢ He decided he¢d dive, like he¢d done lots of times before from the lower diving board. Or, maybe it would be better to jump. Naaaah. That would look sissy. Better dive. Ok. I¢m gonna do it now. I¢m gonna do it. I¢m gonna ¢¦. Ok here we go. I¢m going now. One, two, three, GO. Dive, no¢¦ no¢¦ jump.. I¢m bouncing now, I¢m diving now, I¢m ¢¦.OMIGOD, I¢m doing both. No, neither. Ooooooooooooooophh/splatttttttttttt. Probably the worst belly flopper ever. Stomach sore for a week. Memory stored away a lot longer. Almost fifty years¢¦.   [Cue the guy standing on the wall again.]¢Awright now, here¢s what you¢re gonna do,¢ says the Instructor. ¢Take the bottom part of the rope in your right hand and slide it down behind your butt; that¢s right; now take this top part of the rope in your left and get a good grip on it ¢ pull it up tight so there¢s no slack. You don¢t want any slack at this point. Good, good, you¢re doin¢ fine.¢ I wasn¢t dead yet, so I couldn¢t very well disagree, and I was still standing safely upright on the wall, which wasn¢t so bad, especially since I couldn¢t see the ground ¢ still behind me, but still forty feet away. ¢Awright now, what you¢re gonna do next is, you¢re gonna start leanin¢ back, until you reach about 45 degrees. Then, at that point, you take a deep breath and when you¢re ready, you just take three or four quick steps down the wall,¢ says the instructor. ¢Nothin to it; you¢ll see.¢ Ok, I think. ¢CUT! Bring in the stunt man. Where¢s the stunt man? Whaddaya MEAN there¢s no stunt man! WAAAAAAHHH I want my momma. I want my momma." SMACK. "Thanks. I needed that." Ok, I¢m leaning back now.      I¢m leanin¢ back; I¢m leanin¢ back a little more; a little more. (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord be with thee.) A little more, that¢s ¢ what ¢ about ten degrees so far? ¢Come on,¢ says the Instructor. ¢You can do it; you¢re doin¢ fine.¢ I¢m leaning¢ back; I¢m leanin¢ back a little more; a little more. (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord be with thee¢¦. And please forgive me if I should happen to take the name of your Son in vain somewhere between here and the ground!) I'm leanin' back, I'm... Finally ¢ 45 degrees, and holding. Ok. I¢m gonna do it now. I¢m gonna do it. I¢m gonna ¢¦. Ok here we go. I¢m going now. One, two, three, GO.DAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAM .   Thump. Wheeeeewww. MADE IT. I MADE IT. Ok, now the rest is easy. I just gently let the rope slide through the 8-bite and I lower my self to the ground. I¢m lowering. I¢m lowering. I¢m lowering. Finally. I¢M DOWN. Oh SWEET TERA FIRMA. I¢m down. And I¢m safe. ¢Awright,¢ hollers the Instructor from above. Clip out, and come on back up and get in line!¢.      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO¢¦..Ropes I is what it was. The introductory ropes class offered by my good friends and colleagues at the Sterling Volunteer Rescue Squad. They offer a lot of training, and I was trying to take advantage of whatever I could. I also thought it might come in handy some day on the trail. Say there was a section of the trail that was really dangerous. I might be able to figure a way to rig a rope and secure myself to it and then I could get around those hard parts without dying in the process. In case you haven¢t figured out by now, I¢m kind of ascaird of heights. Which frankly has me more than a little nervous about my ability to complete the entire Appalachian Trail. Whenever I read journals, I pay special attention to what they say about the bad parts. It¢s not always very comforting. Let me share a little quote from one of my favorite journals ¢ Jan Liteshoe¢s:¢Hands and arms and bottoms, sometimes even knees were required to navigate the steep and massive rocks. Lots of pulling oneself upward with the arms. The rocks began to be speckled black and lime green with lichen, large, mythic dragons to be negotiated before the summit's prize. One of the sketchiest moments was when I had to climb up one downward tilted slab. If you slid, you would slide into the abyss, and that was gonna hurt. To say the least. I had to trust the traction in my Trail runners - that was all that stood between me and A Really Big Slide. After I'd risked it and made it up the slick, tilted rock I turned back to Jason and said "I can't believe I just did that!" I had no idea how I as going to get down it. But like Scarlet O'Hara, I resolved to worry about that later.¢        Thanks, Jan. I¢ll sleep better after reading that¢¦. I understand that facing up to one¢s greatest fears is part of the challenge of the trail. And defeating them must be one of the greatest feelings of accomplishment a person can have. Stay tuned¢¦..