Date: 2008-05-25
From: New Hartford, CT

To: Silver Hill Campsite (980')
Miles today: 21.0
Weather: clear sky

As difficult as it was to pry myself away from New Hartford I managed to do it. The day before I bought a ton of stuff at Dunkin' Doughnuts and had a huge breakfast with a lot of coffee. I was feeling a little tired but I'm pretty sure it was my body looking for excuses to stay. Pop-Pop drove me to the trail and once my pack was packed up it did feel lighter so I was glad I took the time to make some changes. I actually found my first tick on me in the car as I was about to leave and it was a small deer tick. It was tough leaving because Pop-Pop was such a great host and I got all I needed and more from my time off. It felt so nice not doing anything for a couple of days that I would have no problem turning it into a week. My boots felt good but I was feeling a little slow and it took a couple miles for my legs and body to wake up. It was a beautiful day but not many views. I ran into a couple hikers I had seen a few days before my zeroes and found out about some more who have passed me since. I was able to make it almoust 18 miles before getting hungry thanks to the big breakfast so at that point I just made it dinner at a shelter and figured I would keep hiking afterwards. I was walking next to a river for a while (the Housatonic I think) which was real pretty and there was a beaver on the trail that scurried into the river and slapped his tail at me a bit. The campsite I'm at is real nice and there are a few other hikers here. Today was tough for me mentally though. I had read a couple of online journals from people who had decided to get off the trail, some people I knew, some I didn't. I've never considered quitting but their logic for stopping made sense. It mostly seemed like hiking wasn't as exciting to them as it used to be and that in their minds it made sense at that point to stop. I could agree with some of what they were saying and a fear entered my mind that I would reach that point as well. I though about it a lot today (not quitting, but the logic behind it and how I am feeling relative to that). What they were saying compared to why I failed at the half gallon challenge. Physically I could've eaten a half gallon of ice cream but just over half way through I got sick of vanilla ice cream and had no desire to eat anymore. The first couple bites were great but eventually that excitement was lost and I had no desire, nor did I see the point in eating anymore. Sure I could've shoved another spoonful in my mouth but if I was gaining zero pleasure from it what would have been the point. I thought more about the ice cream analogy and realized that hiking for the first month or so was like eating new amazing Ben&Jerry's ice cream. It was very exciting and satisfying and exactly what I've been looking for. Now that the terrain has changed to less mountains and staggering views and I've fallen into more of a routine its like low fat vanilla soft serve. Very easy to get sick of it and theres not much there to get excited about. But no one says "Oh Pennsylvania is the best part of the trail" or "Just wait until you get to New York, your going to be blown away." So I've got to eat this vanilla soft serve for now (and I'm not complaining, ice cream is ice cream, it's just not my favorite flavor) and in a little bit they're going to start bringing out the good stuff again. Some people I guess get sick of ice cream all together and didn't know that there is new stuff up north or they didn't care to wait. I'm fine with eating this stuff for now but my mouth is watering for the homemade flavors New Hampshire serves up. Another reason I'm not considering quitting is that when I started I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I told myself that there were going to be times that tested me and I was going to get through it. I had always figured that the hard part was early on though and that I had made it past that, but it would be ridiculous for me (or anyone) to assume that hiking the trail would go by without me being tested. I came out here to gain an experience and if I cut the trip short I would have an incomplete experience and would not be satisfied. I don't want to have to wait for my next opportunity to do this to try again. Also I have to take a step back and realize how lucky I am. If in January when I made the final decision to go for it I had decided instead to wait a year I would be so jealous of me right now and would give anything to be in my place. Yes, Connecticut, New York, etc. is not New Hampshire, Maine, NC/TN etc. but its part of it and has a lot to offer as well. I need to get my head out of the White Mountains and back a couple hundred miles south to where my body is and appreciate the beautiful country I'm getting to see. Seriously, fuck quitting.