Date: 2005-09-21
From: Speck Pond Shelter 

To: Frye Notch Lean-To 
Miles today: 10.4
Weather: clear sky

The wind never stopped. Every time I woke up I could hear it roaring overhead. We ran into a day hiker who told us we were going to have to be committed to make it to Katahdin in time. Thanks guy, but I've managed to make it here from Georgia okay, why not be encouraging for the measly 250 some miles left? Panoramic says that he has run into this attitude too. Most people say to him, "Oooh you¢re northbound, aren't you kind of late?"When we stopped for lunch at the notch, I spread my socks and shoes out to dry in the parking lot. The sun was blazing and I wanted to have dry feet for the first time in 4 days. After using the privy (with toilet paper already in it!) I noticed that my socks were missing. When you only have 3 pairs of socks, losing 2 pairs is devastation. I thought it was R playing a joke. But after several times of "no really, I don't have them" and him starting to look under cars, I knew my socks really had blown away. I even asked some day hikers if they had seen which way they had blown. I finally found them across the parking lot on their way down to a ditch. On the way up to the West Peak of Baldpate Mountain I made good time. Not quite the 2 miles an hour I used to do, but better than the 1 mile an hour of late. The East Peak was only .5 away and it was indeed bald. The top was all exposed rock and very, very cool looking. As we hiked towards it, I could see Panoramic standing at the top taking in the view. Right before I hit the rocky spot I stopped to put on a jacket. I knew the wind would make my sweaty shirt feel cold, no need to suffer when you can solve the problem with a fleece and a quick pack drop.And then came one of the worst moments on the trail. It ranked with being ditched by my old hiking partner the first day out of Damascus and the lightning incident. Unfortunately it was not just a moment but also a torturous half an hour.As we climbed the exposed rock, the drop got steeper and the wind harder. I only had 1/2 a day of food and less than a liter of water so my pack was light, not much to weigh me down with. What should have been an easy, perhaps even fun, climb with an incredible view became a nightmare. Now I 100% sympathize with the hikers stuck in the Whites when the hurricane came through. As I clung to the rock I was convinced that I was going to get blown off and die. I had that moment (or several minutes) of absolute terror where I was frozen -- hysterical and unable to move forwards or backwards. Thankfully I have a great hiking partner who came back for me. Without his help I might still be on that mountain crying. I moved as fast as I could between gusts and clung with hands and feet to the rocks the rest of the time. My only true thought was "to quit the trail you have to get off the mountain first." The trail going down was 45-degree flat rock the whole way. Still have to get off the mountain to quit and go home.   Even now, safely down in the notch (with the wind still tearing across the sky) a big part of me wants to just be home and not have to worry about blowing off of some mountain. But here's the problem--I promised myself that if I ever wanted to quit I had to stay on the trail for 2 more weeks. If I still wanted to quit I had to spend a few days in town and then hike for just a few more days. At that point, if I still hated life, I could quit the trail. If I activated my 2 weeks today, that would put me going home somewhere in the Hundred Mile Wilderness. Guess I'll just have to wait till Katahdin to quit.