Date: 2012-03-04
To: Why?
Miles today: 0.0

After I have told people that I am hiking the trail this spring there are many questions. How many people are you going with? (just me) Are you going to fish and hunt for food? (no) What will you be eating? (food from a supermarket or convenience store) How long will it take? (5-6 months). How much does your pack weigh? (little under 30lbs with food & water). How many pairs of shoes will you go through? (2 or 3) etc...After the logistical questions are through, the question that can be difficult to answer is asked...Why? (Really)This is a difficult question for many hikers to honestly answer because they usually give people a surface or socially acceptable answer first. But it is also because they have not sat down and taken some time ponder this and write down reasons. I have been one of these until the other night when I really wanted to come to grips with why and what the benefits or expectations are of this hike. Let me interject that I feel that expectations can be dangerous. They can set you up for disappointment and pain when things don't go how you thought they would (and they rarely do). But expectations used properly can also give reasoning and resolve when setting goals. Usually hikers seem to get rounded up into one of three groups. These groups are usually more demographic but can relate to the Why question as well. The first is 'Right out of School' and usually consists of a younger crowd that is seeking initial direction in life. The second is 'Recently Retired' and is made up of mainly older hikers that have put their time in and may have been waiting for this adventure for a long time. The third is the 'Major Change in Life' group. The age and reason can vary from a loss of a job, divorce or just seeing how fleeting life can be. Not all hikers fit this profiling, but the majority are herded into these classifications.Up until now, It has been easiest to follow peoples images and group myself into the 'Major Change in Life' group. People could understand this and easily put a little 'unfocused' label on me, then move on and not think twice about the why question anymore. Although there is truth in this category for me, the reasoning for my hike does go deeper than just that surface answer.I found it easiest just to take a piece of paper and list a few reasons.******* Why am I hiking the Appalachian trail? *******Seek out what is 'true' in me.Regroup and reevaluate what is important to me.Simplify.Start & finish a task while accepting all the joys and difficulties.Embrace & fully experience the present.Live less in the past and future in my mind.I feel like I am just going through the motions.I feel that I need a change in life to reacquaint myself with awe & wonderment.Take a break from and leave behind the massive doses of cultural conditioning, social expectations and perceived requirements of modern day society.I already stated my current thoughts on expectations, but I also listed these next two questions as suggested by a recently released book I read. (Appalachian Trials - by Zach Davis) ******* When I complete the entire Appalachian Trail I will... *******Listen, Live, Love & Laugh more.Be real to myself and others (no fronts or facades).Be comfortable with myself.Have a better understanding of what is important to me.FINISH a difficult task.Have a renewed love & awe for life.Appreciate what I do have and don't take it for granted.Won't bail out when the 'honeymoon' period is over.Live everyday to the fullest.The next question is meant to keep me focused especially when I feel like quitting the trail. ******* If I give up on the Appalachian Trail I will... *******Lack self confidence.Continue a trend of quitting when the going gets tough.(not being accountable)Set a poor example for my daughter.Cary around 'shame' with me.Settle in other areas of my life as well.Have to explain my failure repeatedly to everyone I know.Is this last question 'guilting' me to finish the trail. Probably.Now I have a little more focus on the 'Why?'. Most of what has been listed are personal goals and could be 'worked on' anytime and anywhere. But what better time then now and what better place than on the trail! Just an update on my physical and blood tests. I am cleared to hike the trail. No Lyme Disease or other issues currently to hold me back. At least nothing that a better diet, rcmd folic acid and fish oil can't handle.Enjoy!