Date: 2006-03-30
To: Mixed Emotions
Miles today: 0.0

In less than 24 hours I will be leaving Nashville and will be in route to Springer Mountain. Wow! The time has come! My thoughts and feelings are all over the place right now. "Quit talking about it and let's just do this!" shouts the competitor in me. "Am I TRULY ready for this?" asks the doubter. "Everything is going to be alright" speaks the laid back calm one. "I really hope I can make it" says the fidgeting nervous voice. "I am going to miss everybody so much!" cries the broken heart. "This will be the biggest test of mind, spirit, and will" states the challenger. "I cannot do this alone" realizes the helpless. "Will I be safe out there?" asks the trembling fearful one. "This is going to be the trip of a lifetime!" smiles the young, confident adventurer. On and on and on and on........All of those thoughts are typical before a commitment and undertaking of this size. But which voice will dominate my thoughts? Which one will I hear the most when hiking and the burning sensation in my legs will NOT go away? Which one will be there at night when it's just me, a sleeping bag, a tent, an eeiry silence, and the dark? What about when it's cold, wet and nothing I own has been dry for 3 days? Or when I can't stand to even look at another packet of oatmeal as I have eaten it every morning for 3 straight months.....and guess what.....there's still more to eat? What voice will speak when I see something that reminds me of home?   I don't know. But I do know that in those times, I still have a choice. And at that point, my choice could be critical....   God, thank you for the ability to choose. Thank you for an unbelievable opportunity. Thank you for your unfailing love and constant mercy and grace. I am usually bogged down with busyness and "stuff" to do that I regret the neglect and strain I have chosen to put on our relationship. But, yet, You never left! You've always been here- You came to me first and have been patiently waiting for me to respond. I'm looking forward to growing and spending time with You on this trek. Let my excitement along the way reflect all that is good in You. I don't know what all is going to take place or happen along the way, but I must continue to trust You. Forgive me when I start believing more in myself and in others than I do in You. Remove my pride that constantly gets in the way. Speak clearly to me along this entire journey. Open my eyes to see You and ears to hear. Let me not confuse Your voice with echoes from my past or my own selfish agenda. Fill my thoughts with your thoughts. Give me the strength and endurance to make it through. Comfort me in times of grief and pain. Protect me in times of fear. Carry me when I am weak. Allow me to think clearly in times of distress. Let me find confidence, security, peace, and rest in You. Thank you for the blessing of Your friendship. Thank you for my family and friends who have done nothing but support me in preparation of this experience. Even though I fail to tell them enough, they are my constant source of encouragement. You are continuing to work through them and they are listening to You. Keep them safe. Take away any worries or concerns and give them peace in knowing You are in control of everything. May You rule over all our thoughts, so that the ONLY voice we hear is Yours."