Date: 2003-01-06
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Miles today: 0.0

Well...Only 51 days until I leave for Georgia. I can just remeber last week when I was thinking to myself 'I just wanna get out there! This day is never gonna come, 2 months is so long!'. Now It's hit me that I'm 7 weeks away from starting.    I've been going through these changes of mood that some other hikers have refered to as mood swings. And I'm not even pregnant! It seems as if one day I'm totally excited and can't wait to get to Springer. I'll be in kick-ass mode for a couple of days feeling like I'm on top of the world. Then, a day will sneak in where I'm scared out of my mind. I'll think , god what am I getting myself into-did I REALLY just take a semesters leave from college?    Althought its tough to see all of my friends geared up to go back to school in a week or two for another semester, I'm pretty confident about my decision. I know this is right because I've had no really big time doubts. Yeah I'll miss some good times, be a little behind and be a little out of the loop when I return to Vermont next fall-But I don't really care.   Yeah that's right I said it...I don't really care. Hiking the Appalachain Trail is too important to me right now to let anything else get in the way of things. Right now I'm suffering from an extreme case of the ihavenofunds and its not getting any better. I've had a real hard time finding a temporary job, just about anywhere. Its right after xmas so everyone is letting people go, and the economy is, well, horrible. It really sunk in last night though....My friends were pressuring me into going out for the night. Usually I always comply and am a pretty good sport about going out when my friends wanna hang out. I'm no spoil sport. Last night my friends just didn't seem to understand how little money I have. I told one of my best friends that the AT right now is more important to me than anything else. I told him thats my main focus and that sometimes fun with my high school buddies has to take the backseat to more important goals, ala AT.    It felt good....I mean my friends all know how into the Trail I am. But I don't think I've ever been so frank with any of them before. It made me realize that nothing is gonna stop me from hiking this Trail.   I just read Moose's entry from 1/5/03. Moose is a buddy of mine who hiked a good portion of the AT in 2001 and is attempting to thru-hike again in 2003. I suggest reading his trailjournal. I agree with you tremendously man. It seems like so many people are afraid of making a decision such as thru-hiking. Although I've recieved a lot of support from friends and family, there is this general feeling and vibe I get from a lot of people. It is mainly because they don't understand. They don't get why any sane individual would want to interupt his good college life-the comfortable life as a pretty decent student, an RA, good friends, in the school jazz ensemble, in a great town like Burlington-and throw it all away just to hike all day for 5 months. To walk through snow, rain, heat, wind, sleet and everything in between. To sleep outside, to shower once a week (maybe), to make all new friends-some young, some old, some drop outs, some doctor and lawyers. To eat the same foods for months, to do little else than walk, to leave the ones you love.       People I tell about the trip seem more scared and worried for me than I am for myself. Its kinda amusing. As Moose explains, it seems like people are afraid to stray from this strict path of life. They wanna get out of college in 4 years, either go directly to grad school or to the work force. From there the goal is to make as much money as possible, get married, have 2/3 kids, live in a nice suburban area, have a cute dog, a nice big screen tv and a mini-van, and live a nice comfortable life-one where no one can criticize you, because afterall its perfect right?       I think a lot of people contain the desire for adventure inside of them. Its just acting on that, and being brave enough to break away from that established path, and follow another one.      I could go on forever about why I'm doing this, but to be honest, I don't really know. Thats why I'm doing it. But to finish Moose's point, that is part of the reason we do this. I want to surround myself around people who feel the same as me. Peopl who will not critisize me for thinking or dreaming differently.       This is a big deal for me. I spent too much time in high school wondering and worrying about what people thought about me. Its time for me to do what I want and be happy doing it. I know I will return to school. I will eventually get a college degree, and maybe even (no?) a job! Thru-hikers aren't bad people, there not lazy people who are trying to get out of doing their "normal" work. Their just creative with their lives.       I think its funny when people think I'm doing this to escape school or something. This thru-hike will be so much more work than I will ever put into a semester of college, or maybe anything in my life. I'd say I hope people don't think this is all play, but well, they'll have to find out for themselves.