Date: 2013-04-10
From: Birch Spring Gap

To: Porter Gap
Miles today: 40.9

Started early in the morning to beat the heat and later in the afternoon took a nap. Got to Clingman¢s Dome. It was cooler with patches of snow and evergreen forests. Saw a beautiful sunset from the observatory. Had dinner of beans on the way at Newfound Gap. I hiked 10 more miles to make it to marker 210¢for another 40 mile day. Shelters are crowded and not so clean at Porter¢s Gap, so I bivied off trail. My Achilles is still bothering me, but my body is definitely getting used to my routine and the trail. I want to keep this up before the rain comes tomorrow.also(Dad writing)--Here is an entry that Josh's partner, Josh Lederach, wrote about what happened after he and Josh parted ways. It is a compelling statement about the commitment that these two have to each other and their desire to immerse themselves as much as they can in nature: Well it is hard to know where to begin with this entry.I mentioned that my ankle was beginning to hurt on the third day so I guess I'll start with that. In the evening of day three, 4/7/13, just before we hiked Albert Mountain my ankle began to hurt with every step. I put the pain out of my mind and picked up my pace during the ascent of Albert Mt. When I got to the top I took my sock off and realized that my ankle had begun to swell. I taped my ankle in a position of comfort but it did very little to decrease the pain. We continued hiking for another 2 hours before we went to sleep.After sleeping from 11 that night to 3am Josh and I woke up and began hiking. We did about 10 miles in the dark and at about mile 5 for that day I took off my sock and noticed the swelling had become worse. At 7:30 we bonked at the top of this hill lying there for about 15 minutes with our feet up on a log trying to recover. We were exhausted but decided to get up and keep hiking, which led us to a long downhill. During this downhill I began favoring my ankle heavily and was limping every step. For some reason downhill¢s set off my ankle worse than anything else.After about a mile of this we came to a stop at a water source and I told josh that I could no longer walk fast enough to get to the NOC in time to get our resupply. It was 8:30am and we had around 23 more miles to cover before 5pm to get to the NOC.We sat there in silence for a few minutes and I told Josh to not let me slow him down if he thought he could make it and that I would be fine walking out on my own. After some more thought he said he was going to try to make it. Though it was tough to split up I am glad he continued to hike. We had been walking as a team and had motivated each other through the ups and downs of the day. I wanted so badly to continue but with the state of my ankle it was unrealistic.After we split up I kept walking at a slower pace and relied heavily on my trekking poles limping badly down any downhill. It was a hard few miles after we split up not because of my ankle but because of the daunting feeling of failure. Most of you who are following this blog know that one of my main inspirations for hiking this trail is to help fundraise for the Davis Phinney Foundation that raises money for Parkinson¢s research. After I split up with Josh I realized the initial dream of finishing the trail under 60 days was over. All my muscles felt good, my spirits were high, and my motivation to keep going was just as strong but my ankle wouldn't let me go fast enough anymore. I limped my way to Telico gap which was around 15 miles after the split, and caught a shuttle down to the aquone hostel.I went through a wave of emotion from anger to sadness to frustration to feeling hopeful that I could find a solution that would let me continue. Once I collected myself I knew that the journey as it had started, 120+ miles and 4 days ago, was over. I began trying to redefine this experience. How can I still support Josh who is hiking? How can I continue fundraising for Parkinson¢s? Can I heal myself and at least hike part of the trail before needing to go to work in June? These are all questions that I need to find answers to in the next few days. The support from my family is amazing; from phone calls to my mom flying out to be with me while my ankle heals. We haven¢t figured much out yet but hopefully my mom and I can hike small sections of the AT together and intersect with Josh at different points.My dad wrote a poem recently that seems to describe this experience well:"Dreams and weedsWhen cut and trimmedJust drop seedsThat rise again."Josh Lederach