Date: 2006-04-16
From: Miss Janet's House, Erwin, TN

To: Curly Maple Shelter
Miles today: 4.2
Weather: scattered clouds

I got out of Erwin and Miss Janet's house this afternoon and am glad to be in the woods again. Miss Janet is a terrific lady and lives up to her reputation but I met her and was at her house on the wrong day. Like yesterday, the place was in a frenzy when I just wanted some peace. A few other folks felt the same way. Most enjoyed the to-do. I'm not complaining and won't complain. We're hiking our own hikes. My hike is better when I relax quietly with a few people.I bounced from room to room in the house not really getting comfortable anywhere and just waiting for the dinner bell. Her front porch is nice but squirrel was holding court hooting at the girls leaving the church across the street after Easter services. No class. Miss Janet's backyard is nice but Baltimore Jack was holding court out there blasting the same Springsteen and Johnny Cash and sucking down Jim Beam. On the AT he's considered a legend. He may be. A legend and an obnoxious middle aged drunk. Three cheers. I kept wondering why I hadn't hiked out with Jet Wash and Bear Can. We were all of similar minds. Really it was only because Miss Janet vented her frustration on me personally.I can't say the food wasn't amazing. There were 37 people in line for the Roast and plenty left over. She and her daughter and a team of hikers, Caboose included, spent 2 days preparing. There was a ham, a turkey, piles of sweet potatoes, sides and gravy and sauces. I went through the line just once and still had no room for dessert.I headed to McDonald's this morning for cheap breakfast. She sent me out with $30 to buy sausage biscuit sandwiches for all the cooks. She has class. She also shuttled a bunch of us to the grocery store for resupply. After dinner she shuttled those of us leaving to the trailhead.The good thing about stay was making contact with folks from the trail. I was glad to spend time with Natty Bo, Parkay, Long Haul, Houey, and lots of others. Irish, Handle Bar, Double Shot and Supersize all showed up from the trail as did Dinosaur and several others from the campground fire. Still, I would have preferred a lazy day.The 4 mile hike up to Curly Maple flew by. Four miles now feels like nothing. A 20 miler to Clyde Smith Shelter tomorrow is not out of the question. I would like to keep up with the guys I'm with now for a while. Tonight's shelter group includes Long Haul, Don Quixote, Houey and ---. Old School and New Day, a couple I've only seen in the registers are also here. The few miles hiked and fireside conversation were a good remedy for the stress of forced merriment of the day. I can never say anything bad about Miss Janet. She loves and is devoted to hikers. When she dropped us at the trail gave me a hug and thanked me for sticking around. Hugs for everyone.Frustration's building for me and I have to make some changes. I love this trip and its experiences but I'm also feeling stifled. I usually feel quite free to be myself but I have been hiding my light under a bushel. Fag jokes and bashing are just everyday routine for most of these folks, even ones I like. But there is such an undertone of animosity it's surprising. I haven't experienced attitude this strong since junior high. I'm pretty pissed at myself for not either speaking up or just moving on. I'm kind of an observer behind a wall and it's really getting me down and keeping me from engaging. Some like a solitary hike. I like the social aspect and want to connect with more people. It's kind of a double edged sword and not like me at all to let things build up.Time to make a few changes and get more out of my hike. It's creepy to even admit these things. I love this experience as a whole, but it's time to take charge and get what I'm missing. All in all, interesting as it's been, I consider my visit to Miss Janet's an unexpected failure.Closing the book on this chapter.