Date: 2004-11-05
To: One Year and then some
Miles today: 0.0

On September 3rd it was 2:00 in the afternoon before I thought about the trail. I was at work, I was busy, and someone else actually reminded me. September 3rd was my one year anniversary of my summit of Katahdin. That day has become more important to me than my birthday. When I first finished the trail, I thought of it every day, sometimes all day. I don't do that anymore. I think of it every week, but not every day. I have the AT map on my wall at work and still I don't truly think of it and remember it every day. But sometimes I have these overwhelming urges to go back there, or to hike a long distance hike again. Well, maybe not that long, but at least for a month or so. I have two trails in mind already - the John Muir Trail and the St. James de Compostella in Spain. A few days ago I met a woman who just finished the St. James. I got her number and can't wait to talk to her and see her guidebook and here about her adventure. I will have that adventure some day.I decided to add this entry even though the hits to my journal are few and far between these days. I thought people might be interested in what I am doing now, over a year after my summit. I am in charge of the work experience program at the same high school I taught at before I went on the trail. I work with students with disabilities to help them gain work experience and job skills before they leave high school. It is a rewarding job and I plan to stay here a while. I am dating someone and have been for about 10 months. We are discussing marriage and where to live. He is a border patrol agent. That relationship is going well and I am very excited about the prospect of getting married and buying a house. But thoughts of a long distance hike are never far away. I figure after saying goodnight to my dog Oscar every night I should give an update on him too. He is about 15 or 16 years old and is starting to show his age, finally. His kidneys are failing, but I can't tell that he is any different than he has always been. He still eats a lot, sleeps a lot, walks a lot, and loves a lot. He has some spunk left in him and until that's gone he will still be my best buddy. Sometimes I feel this tremendous sadness at the thought of never feeling again what I felt at the top of Katahdin. I know I will never feel that again. It was like a rush, a high, that can never be within reach again. The strength and the power and the feeling that I was indestructable will never come back to me. But, I continue to search for ways to get close to that feeling again. I miss being on the trail, I miss being with the people I met on the trail, and I have lost touch with some that I felt would surely be a permanent, lasting relationship for me. That is a crushing disappointment. I believe many people heard me say and I also wrote that I would never hike the AT again. I may also have said I would never do a long distance hike again. While I may never have 5 or 6 months of my life to hike the AT again, I would in a heartbeat if the chance came my way and I would do a lot of things differently. One think I know for certain is that I will definetly do a long distance hike again and I will definetly put my hikes on this website. There were a lot of nevers in my journal. I take those back. I miss that way of life. I miss the people. I miss the food, except for pop tarts. I miss being able to eat anything I want and lose weight. I miss sleeping in a tent. I miss the comradery at the hostels. I miss "town days" and "town food." I miss it all, even walking in the rain, even hiking out of town uphill with a full pack, even the snoring in the shelter. It was all good. It was all good for me. I want it back.