Date: 2005-06-29
From: Pine Grove Furnace

To: Pine Grove Furnace
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: moderate rain

Since I'm not doing anything today I thought I would give some thoughts on the journey so far. To tell the truth, being at the halfway point is just not as exciting for me this year. I consider my halfway point 90 miles north of here, at the 501 Shelter, where I had to get off last year. I sat here last year, never thinking I would get knocked off the trail, but when I did I realized just how quickly it can happen. Do I feel different this year? In a word, yes. Over the last few days I was thinking about that. I remember that in the week before getting to Pine Grove I was physically exhausted at the end of each day, or during the course of a day. This time I feel much better, not just foot wise or leg wise, but in general. I don't have an explanation as to why. My diet is no different, I have walked just as many miles, and my mental attitude is good. I just feel better. Am I sorry I started over again? Not on your life! To be able to start again with Scholar, who has never been more than a day or two ahead or behind was great. She and I have never regretted doing what we did. To have met Break on the first day, to have walked with her as if we were bound by leg irons for six weeks, was, in my opinion, more than just coincidence or luck. Break impacted my hike in many ways, and all for the good. I will be the first to admit there is an empty spot with her not being on the trail right now. I know she is chomping at the bit right now but she will be back. To have met all the people I have walked with, I will not name them all, has been a blessing. Poet, Free, and Serenity deserve mention because I have walked with them consistently since around Hot Springs. When I do break away from them for a few days Free says it's because I can handle them only for short doses! The more I think about it, I would have to agree. Too stressful for a guy to be around four women for long periods of time! Am I having fun? You bet! Is it always fun and games? Not by a long shot. This is a job. Probably the best job in the world but a job none the less. You work, at hiking, 8 to 12 hours a day. You are cold, wet, and hot. You sweat, you smell. Your clothes never get completely clean. The funk is ingrained in them. Your pack could walk, by itself, alongside you. You are bitten by bugs, plagued by heat rash, bothered by chafing. Your diet sucks, you're always hungry. Staying hydrated and finding water are always forefront in your mind. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Yet, we are out here. Many are gone for one reason or another and more will drop in the next 1000 miles. Why are we out here. Everyone has a different answer or no answer at all. I couldn't put into words why I am out here. Oh, I could try, but I couldn't convey the reason why where those listening would really understand why. All I know this is where I want to be and hope to be till I finish. Is it changing my life? In subtle ways I would say so. I look at things a little differently or maybe I am just a little more cynical. I know what I won't do when I get done but I'm not sure what I will do. Priorities and time are different here and they make you look at them differently outside of the trail. Whatever happens, I won't ever regret being here! Thanks to all of you who have followed my escapades. Thanks for the emails, packages, and guest book entries. They mean a lot!