Date: 2010-04-14
From: Flint Mountain Shelter

To: Lowe Gap Campsite
Miles today: 14.9

Day 39I suck at camping. I may not be the worlds worst tent spot finder, but that's only because there are some world class crappy tent spot finders out here. Last night two dudes came in just before midnight and cowboycamped. The slope was so steep for one of them that by morning his sleeping mat was two off the end of his groundcloth and his sleeping bag had slipped off another foot or so. I've seen tents on slopes so severe that the occupent had to have slept in the fetal position piled up against the mesh at the end of the tent. It looks the rent is trying to give birth. Anyway, my spots tend to slope less, but nevertheless they would have slopes that make me slide just a little. Tonight I tried something more drastic. As we came to camp where Mage had already set up camp on a nice spot, Tintin wisely selected his spot long before actually entering camp. Frexo and I were left to wonder about like ants who had lost the ant trail looking for a flat spot. Fredo may possibly be worse at it than me. But not tonight. Tonight I tried something drastic. A kind of wallow behind a small log that I thought would just make me sleep ashallow U shape. Nope. I immediately slid sideways against the damn log. I suck at tenting. I want the shelters back.Some crazy weekend hiker tried to tell us there was a double murder on the AT in the Smokies a few days ago. I told him that was highly unlikely since it would be the talk of the trail for hundreds of miles either way. I'm glad he didn't take to much offense at being called liar because it turned out that he was carrying a big Bowie knife, a gun and a collapsible steel baton that Tonya Harding would have swooned for.The hiking today was long and fast. We left camp at 9 and arrived at the first shelter 8.8 miles away around 1:30. Well tintin and Fredo arrived 15 minutes before me. We took a nice break to dry off. The shelter break routine has become to strip everything off but my black underarmour sport type underwear and hang it around the area to dry. Following Fredo's lead I hang a bandana in the front like a loin cloth to not offend Tintin's sensabilities. Shirt, headband socks and red nylon soccer shorts scattered all over to let the sweat dry away. After the break we were excited because we were almost to the I-26/US23 road crossing where there was supposed to be two restaurants and a market within 3 miles of the trail. We planned to hitch it for a late lunch. Poor Tintin was excited about getting some fresh vegetables and some good meat for dinner. He looked as if he had just discovered Santa Claus wasn't real when I told him the "market" was most likely an oversized convenience store. Which is what it turned out to be. And one of the restaurants had closed down and the other stopped serving at 2pm. On top of that we came out of the woods right at the Tennessee/North Carolina border and went under the interstate to a nice, wide paved two lane road and started hitch hiking. We saw a truck pass almost immediately but none of us was really watching and it went by before we could get into proper hitching position. It was 30 minutes before another car went by. I was halfway through composing a nasty letter of complaint to the North Carolina Dept of Transportation about why in the tarnation they ever wasted money paving this godforsaken stretch of roadway and that they should let it turn to gravel before spending another penny on it when a nice lady in a minivan pulled up. Without hesitation she invited 3 dirty hikers into her car. People out here never stop amazing me.At the "market" I microwaved a frozen pizza, ate a bag of chips, a big fat chocolate bar and drank a 2 liter bottle of mountain dew. Over 2300 calories in one sitting. Awesome. We bought a packet of hot dogs and grabbed a ride back to the trail and hiked another 3.4 miles to this campsite where we built a fire and cooked the hot dogs. But not right away. That crappy dinner and the 2 liter mountain dew was weighing heavy on me on the way here. I immediately had to break my privy only policy and dig a cathole to void my body of the nasty by product. Then I had nasty loud and disturbing flatulence for the next hour before things finally settled down inside me. The sad thing is I will repeat the entire process all over again if I find another convienient market.Well once again its very late. The stars are beautiful but I need my sleep. Now to beat this log into submission and hope one of those lower stobs don't brokeback mountain me in my sleep.Goodnight and sweetdreams to all of you out there not living the Gastric, Gurgling Intestinal Dream.