Date: 2008-06-17
From: Stealth site @ Canopus Hill Rd., NY

To: RPH Shelter, NY
Miles today: 14.0
Weather: broken clouds

I passed out last nite, maybe woke once to light rain. My alarm went off @ 5:00 a.m. to 58 degrees. I was so tired still, didn't want to budge, but unfortunately, I didn't want to stay in this place either, so I got up.I truly feel like I've been up for 2 weeks straight. I got camp packed up and decided to shoot for RPH shelter wich is @ 360 feet, becase guess what...there are "isolated" storms in the forecast ALL FREAKIN WEEK! I called Karen before leaving and I am not feeling much better honestly. Talking to her helps though.I stepped off @ 6:52 a.m.Today's hike wasn't overly difficult. I'd say the beginning of NY is far harder than mid and northern NY (on the AT that is).I hiked for about 2 miles and ended up @ a beautiful stream. I sat there, got water and just lost it. I cried my eyes out, which honestly felt really good. I realized that this storm\lightening issue to me out here is much like a burgalar in a normal home issue. See, the woods, rocks, dirt, trees...this place is my home. These storms are not always predicted and even if they are, how bad it gets could depend upon 5 or 10 miles. So I said last nite I didn't feel safe anymore. My only recourse in storms is to get to lower elevation, which I did..but even that didn't make much of a difference. So my metaphor is this.....I feel like a person does when they realize an intruder is in their house. Even after its over, you feel unsafe, so you add locks, get an alarm system, hire a guard, whatever. But imagine if every nite you moved to a different home, and you were told there's a 30-50% chance an intruder would break in again...maybe hurt or even kill you, or maybe just scare you. How would you feel?This is what I feel like out here now.I finally got up and hiked on. Today sucked..all I could think about was getting to the shelter..to lower elevations before today's storms hit..if they did at all.I passed Dennytown Rd., where I was headed last nite. I just kept going and going...taking very few breaks. See, this type of hiking is not fun. I can't enjoy hiking non-stop, not being able to relax and stop to enjoy something pretty. This type of hiking makes no sense to me and is antithetical to my reasons for being out here n the first place.Anyway, there were a few climbs, some nicer flat-ish trail, and some steep descents too.I ran into Bad Influence (VT) who hiked 1\2 the trail last year with Birdlegs, and now he's out for the second half. We both talked about having these hard days and how you start asking yourself why the hell you're out here doing this. He was a great guy, and I wish he was hiking north not south. He had a great skull bandana on, so I got a pic with both our skull headwear.I moved on and was @ NY 301 by noon, so I knew I had about 7 miles and 3.5 hrs to go, which should be fine with storms in the afternoon. Canopus Lake is here, and it's beautiful.I knew it was climbing in elevation for almost 5 miles, which today made me nervous. I could already see the moisture building in the clouds.About 3.5 miles had no landmarks, and I noticed the sun went away again. It was only 12:48 p.m., so surely storms weren't already brewing! It still made me hike faster, but with only a few short breaks and no lunch, it was hard to keep the pace. Like I said...no fun.I finally made it to the top point of the day, the top of Shenendoah Mt., where 2 guys were sitting. From here, I could see all of the dark clouds hanging all around with a speck of blue sky peeking thru from time to time. One of the guys goes to Dartmouth, so he said when I get to the Whites, start hiking early (my thought is how much earlier can I get?)It was 2:00 p.m., so I called Karen again, who was literally checking the weather for me. We talked for awhile and I told her I could be @ a train station in 1-2 dys, catch a train to NYC, then to D.C., and then home.Or, I could hide out in an expensive motel room for the next 10 days and try to run into town everytime it might storm.   In other words, I'm sick to death of dealing with it. Bugs, heat, rain, (some) cold, gross food, hurting feet, being stinky..all of this I can handle, but not feeling safe? Not so much.She said she really didn't want me to call it quits, but trusted if I felt I needed to, she trusted that too. I told her I just don't know. I don't want my hike to end, especially this way, but I also don't know how long it will take for me to be @ ease again. It sucks.Finally, I left and started my final 2.8 miles down to the shelter. I got there close to 4:00 p.m. and to my surprise, it's a cinder block house almost, with the back wall open.Thud (MI) who flew past me yesterday was here (he did 33 miles yesterday). He got caught in the storm too, just after NY 301, but he got totally drenched, so he hiked the 6 miles here and stopped to dry out.I'm glad he is here...just for human company. We're right by a road too. You can have pizza delivered here, so we shared a large pepperoni pizza and a 2 liter of Sprite.Then Catfish (KS) showed up (he's 64 yrs old), and he wanted pizza, but the place doesn't take charge cards. He was thoroughly disappointed, especially after seeing mine and Thud's pizza. I loaned Catfish $30.00 so he could have some pizza. He's going to give me or mail me the $ when he gets to an ATM. I'm not worried about it...I know he's good for it.This pizza was HUGE and I could only manage 2 big slices. It was good though.Amazing what a nice shelter, nice hikers and NO storms can do for you. It looks like we're being spared today thankfully. I'm withholding from making a decision. 99% of me wants to keep going, but at times today, about 95% of me wanted to go home.I just don't know..and I'm considering zeroing here tomorrow so I an just "be" and not so stressed about hiking. We'll see.It's 72 degrees @ 8:04 p.m. I'm still exhausted.~Certain