Date: 2020-10-09
From: Rainbow Spring Campsite

To: Katahdin Stream Campground (Millinocket)
Miles today: 21.1
Weather: clear sky

I woke early again, listening to the wind, and probably mice scurrying around the tent, but rolled over and didn't stir until the sun was fully on the tent. My last full day on trail. I was reluctant to start, because that brought the end closer. I miss my family. I want to be with them. But neither do I want this journey to end. For all the discomforts and trials, it has been my life for four months. I've grown accustomed to its rhythms, its highs and lows. I am experienced, I know exactly what I'm doing. And there is always an underlying sense of purpose, a drive forward that is not stressful, but provides meaning and direction. It's hard to imagine anything similar in "real life", though maybe it's just a matter of perspective.The other two tenters are a couple sectioning the Wilderness. I leapfrogged with them most of the morning before I crept ahead. They haven't seen my friends 5-Oh and Water Queen. I meandered along gorgeous Rainbow Lake, shimmering in an unearthly deep blue in the early morning sun. If not for the frigid temperature and wind (last night was the freezing night, not the previous night), I would have gladly dove in. I almost did anyway. I could die happily by a lake in Maine. The trail went over Rainbow Ledges, the last hill before Katahdin. It was sadly bereft of blueberries. I remembered fondly being waylaid for an hour picking these succulent fruits on my last trip through a year ago August. On previous trips I had felt a definite loss of energy climbing this middling hill. But today I must have had enough calories or sugar or salt. Or maybe the chill wind is a better energizer than humidity. Whatever the reason the climb was easy and pleasant. I didn't find Water Queen and 5-Oh at Hurd Brook Lean-To or at the Golden Road as I exited the Wilderness. I must have passed them somehow. I walked down the dirt highway as trucks occasionally passed in a dusty cloud. At Abol Bridge, Katahdin loomed almost near enough to touch. I found Jinx hanging out at the campstore near Abol Bridge. Unfortunately the store had closed for the winter. I first met Jinx when he wandered by Mike and I on Katahdin Ironworks Road looking to get a ride further up trail to a birthday party for Hippie, one of his tramily mates. He made it, but separated from the tramily again and has been hanging out here for the last day waiting for Walmart, Hippie, and the others. I assured him they were not behind him as I'd seen no one. We figured they either summited yesterday or today, though they weren't on the Birches list either day, or they went into Millinocket to wait. There's no service here to find out. I am similarly mystified as to where Water Queen and 5-Oh ended up. They didn't sign up for the Birches either. I hiked ten miles through Baxter State Park, up along Nesowadnehunk Stream. At one point I laid on a ledge next to the water as it dashed over in a waterfall. Last summer I'd relaxed here with UNICEF, Two Blades, Fresh Prints, and Silent Bob as I accompanied them on the completion of their thruhikes. I felt alone, yet strangely fulfilled, accompanied by ghosts of the past. The sun was warm. I didn't want to get up. But I did. I hiked past Big and Little Niagara Falls, Daicey and Grassy Ponds, in the shadow of Katahdin. At Daicey's trailhead I saw an updated weather forecast: 80% chance of showers on the summit tomorrow. Not good. I decided that, with no one else summiting with me, tomorrow would be a mistake. At Katahdin Stream Campground I couldn't find the ranger responsible for checking in. Two rangers going over papers in the tailgate of a pickup truck had no interest in helping me. So I decided to hitch into town. At first I had no luck. Jinx, who'd hiked out ahead of me, had disappeared. It was almost sunset, and there was very little traffic leaving the park this late. I thumbed at a car but it blew by. Two other guys who'd also tried to hitch called out to me. Turned out they were walking toward their car at another trailhead just two miles away. Town was twenty miles. They offered to drive me in once they got their car. Finally a break!Eventually a car stopped and ferried one of them, Austin, to their car and he came back to pick up me and his friend Brian. As we're driving off he casually mentioned that the couple in the other car knew me. Austin had told them I was a thruhiker from Pennsylvania but couldn't remember my name. They asked if it was Valley Forge. It was Speak Up and Lana! They had just finished the last leg of their trip and were driving back to their van in Monson. Bummer that I missed them, but what a fantastic coincidence that they came by just as we needed help. The trail really does provide. Austin and Brian are from Syracuse. They'd just climbed Katahdin today, their first excursion to Maine. Austin has considered a thruhike before, while Brian has young kids, and both were interested in my experience. One question, how was I going to celebrate finishing, stumped me. I popped champagne back in Monson, but that was more for show than anything meaningful. I don't know if celebration is the right word. Marking the end of the journey is enough. I got out of it what I can. It will take time to process it all. What I know is that seeing that sign at the summit won't bring the closure I've been seeking since I started hiking. Because there is no closure. Hiking is just a metaphor for life. And life is a journey, not a destination. There is no closure, until it's all over. Until then you learn what you can, and you do your best for yourself and the people around you.Austin and I also shared a fascination with political economy and geopolitical strategy. They were interesting guys and I feel lucky to have met them. They dropped me in the middle of Millinocket, near a boarding house, having gone ten miles out of their way. The boarding house owner, Susan, was not in town and directed me to the Blue Ox Saloon where the bartender Tom situated me. I ended up spending most of the evening in the saloon enjoying company and some calzone from Scootic's across the street. Tomorrow I will zero to wait out the rain. By then I hope some of my friends will be ready to summit with me. Sunday looks like a beautiful day to climb a mountain.