Date: 2015-06-18
From: Delaware Water Gap

To: Delaware Water Gap
Miles today: 0.0

6/18, 0, Delaware Water GapToday I allowed my self to entertain the possibility that I have fulfilled my expectations and desires, and it may be time to finish this trek here. It was a scary way to wake up today and caused me to reflect on why that may be. I have hiked many days with the admonition on my mind to not quit on a bad day, and yesterday was a great day. Nevertheless I woke up feeling the same hesitation I have experienced when faced with hitting the trail again out of town. I overthink the time away from family and responsibility, the expense and the pressure on others, especially Kathy, while I am gone. It is easy to remember we have a wonderful church family and all of the support of our small group within that family, but there is still pressure. In runners terms I have hit the mental/emotional wall trough which I needed to endure. Penguin and I made our way after breakfast to Wal Mart for a few things via local transit. Our trip a few miles to Stroudsburg was frustrating requiring transfers from one bus route to another and offering no way to return in time to check out and hike on. We managed to get things done and back to the motel, but I was feeling very wary of the future. I packed to leave and we walked to grab the 2.95 hot dog and pie special at the bakery on the way. I decided after lunch to call Kathy and discuss my concerns with her. My main goals for this hike are to write an inspirational book, and accomplish something few people can accomplish. I have some sense I could feel those goals are complete, but Kathy felt summiting Katahdin was much more important than I was giving it credit. We talked and discussed time, finances and the like but decided to talk this evening after she had some time to think. I decided to zero today by moving over to the Church of The Mountains Hostel where there are other hikers, a Thursday evening hiker feed and a low cost to stay. The rest of the day I kept mostly to myself thinking, praying, reading, and watching some Netflix. By 6 pm when he hiker feed began I was feeling much better. It feels much too early to need a zero, but Pennsylvania has been difficult for everyone, young and old alike and many are taking a zero now that it is near over. The hiker feed here at the church was epic, and I have some experience with church dinners. There were near thirty hikers from all over town and a similar number of church members. The dinner prayer was very nice, and hikers got to ear first. We were asked to spread ourselves out so the local folks could sit amongst us and hear our stories. I visited with a WWII Navy vet, his daughter and another local making the evening very enjoyable. After dinner I reconnected with Sir and Hummingbird and shared with the, my thoughts, but by evening I had made my decision, and Kathy agreed.I will hike on tomorrow and further until I catch Ironman Bill and Just Pete. We talked clear back in Georgia about the possibility of finishing together and I would love for that to be the case. Nevertheless, I feel the need to reach Katahdin more now for all of you that have supported and encouraged me, and for Kathy, to honor the sacrifices made on my behalf. In some twisted way that feels less selfish to me and I am truly blessed to be able to do this and look forward to pressing on toward the goal.Silverback