Date: 2005-01-14
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Miles today: 0.0

1:45am1.14.05Insomnia strikes again. I¢m just too keyed up to sleep. Hearing the responses to my announcement from so many friends, it¢s interesting to observe the variation in their reactions. Some think me just plain nuts, and tell me so openly. (I appreciate the candor.) Some admire me. And think me insane. And some claim they envy me. Not the envy of my hiker pals, which is the jealousy that I¢ll be out there, and they won¢t. No, these friends envy that I ¢always seem to know what I want to be doing -- and I always seem to actually go through w/ whatever it is.¢ Hah! If only they knew. If only they could fathom precisely how clueless I really am. I have no Master Plan that I¢m pursuing. This is strictly a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinda thing. Strangely enough, I feel slightly envious of these same friends, the stability in their lives. I don¢t know what I¢ll be doing 6 to 12 months in the future, or where I¢ll be, but I doubt I¢ll be doing what I¢m doing now. Every lifestyle requires sacrifices. That doesn¢t mean you don¢t occasionally miss what you¢ve given up. But, back to my friends -- although some doubt my sanity and others applaud my sanity (for where else should you be but out in the woods, communing w/ nature?), and everyone else lands in the spectrum somewhere b/t the two, overwhelmingly the sentiment is one of support. To be buoyed up by this invisible web, tendrils snaking across the country and the globe, binding, weaving together into an ever-strengthening tapestry of encouragement and love -- it¢s inspiration embodied. A heartfelt thank you to everyone who¢s already offered me support, spoken or tacit. And my hike is still two months away! I hope to hear from more of my friends -- I know I¢ve allowed time to inexorably exert its distance b/t us. But, for the next two months, I¢m still plugged into the internet daily. (Hint, hint)10:45pmWell, sometime around 2:30 this morning, I finally won the battle against insomnia. And where did I end up sleeping? (No, this is not a sordid tale.) Around 2, I gave up on the tossing and turning and creaking of my futon, grabbed my sleeping bag from my pile of gear, unfurled it, and sprawled out on the floor, quickly succumbing to slumber as the steady rain beating against the house lulled me as the perfect white noise.My hike is going to be so vastly different this year, for a multitude of reasons. One, I simply have a lot more confidence in my gear. And myself. I feel like I can most likely handle whatever is thrown at me. And, if I can¢t, I know there¢s a community that will catch me if I do happen to stumble, figuratively and literally. It¢s interesting. Last spring, I basically dove right in, not much preparation -- I figured I¢d wing it, which turned out not to be such a bad plan, as much as it was a plan. I was fortunate to have such a wonderful support in my parents, so my lack of pre-packed maildrops wasn¢t an issue. I just called and told them what to throw in a box and where to mail it. And, though I lurked incessantly on TJ and whiteblaze, absorbing gear advice and trail-related insight, I never actively participated. This year, I¢ve already been in contact w/ several hikers, most of whom have start dates similar to mine. And I'll be stepping off Springer Mountain w/ a dear friend at my side. The kinship and bonds that the Trail forms and forges extend well beyond the physical linearity of the footpath.