Date: 2011-04-14
To: Motivations
Miles today: 0.0

Title: MotivationsHiking over 2000 miles continuously is a fairly significant undertaking. It shouldn¢t be taken lightly or impulsively.   There must be good reasons for doing it. Motivations for hiking the Appalachian Trail seem to be as varied and personal as the number of people who attempt it. Reasons range from the emancipating ¢Hike to flee¢ through the Zen ¢Hike to be¢ all the way to the aesthetic ¢Hike to see¢ and everything in between.So, I¢ve asked myself ¢why do this?¢ on many occasions. What are my reasons? Sadly, I don¢t have any good answers. I do, however, have a bunch of mediocre ones, all of which probably play some part in my subconscious calculus. This post will attempt to provide a degree of order to the disorder I currently have roiling around in my head about the matter. Here are nine reasons why I want to through-hike the AT:1.        Legacy. I hope I have two or three decades left to go in this life. But, if nature follows its typical trajectory, I¢ll be gone long before my boys. I don¢t want them to forget me. I fully expect to be forgotten by most everyone else after a short while, but I¢d like to last for a bit with my kids. I think an adventure like this one is a great platform from which to reflect, plan, write, imagine, photograph, journal, and all the rest. My modest work during the run-up and the accomplishment of this trip will hopefully provide a snapshot of a slice of life well-lived, complete with bizarreness, quirks, warts and all. It¢ll be a tangible legacy. For them. 2.        ¢Because it is there. ¢ You¢ve all heard that line before. Maybe you¢ve used it. Mallory responded with it when asked why he wanted to climb Mt. Everest. Now, I am not the man that George Mallory was (the guy was freakin' legend!), and neither the physical nor technical difficulty of the AT is anywhere close to that of the Himalayan behemoth, but I still think the line is relevant. I¢ve never really understood exactly what it meant, to be honest. But, as I come closer to my start date I am beginning to get it. There is something to be said for taking on a daunting challenge, just for its own sake. It stretches, humbles, and centers a man. Perhaps it allows him to find something that he may or may not be looking for. And as vague and ambiguous as that sounds, I think it is good enough. We all need an Everest.3.        Anti-logic. I was a career Naval officer. Now I am an educator. I teach critical thinking, reasoning, and informal logic skills to US government analysts. It¢s a great gig. I¢ve enjoyed waking up everyday and going to work to teach this stuff over the years. I think the development of critical thinking skills for all is imperative if a democracy is to function well. But it can be pretty arid at times. Living fully in the world of rationality, logic, and argument can be clinical, linear, not a little antiseptic. Important in life? Yes. But I think that balancing the left-brain with something more dynamic, creative, spontaneous and visceral is as crucial. The AT will be my counterweight to unfiltered reason.   I¢m an admirer of New England Transcendentalism (Emerson, Thoreau, Channing, etc), a literary/philosophical movement at its peak in the 1830-40¢s, based in Concord, MA. What appeals to me, and makes transcendentalism relevant to my trip is that the writings of these visionaries were a direct response to Enlightenment thinking. They believed that the enlightened Age of Reason was not so lit up, that empiricism, logic, and ¢sensualist¢ reductionist thinking was too limiting, that it blunted in some way the emotional, intuitive, and aesthetic sensibilities so core to the human experience. To paraphrase them, ¢Screw logic. Live!¢   It reminds me in some small way of my own response to my job. And that is cool. Maybe this very long walk on a very long trail will be my own version of a Walden experience. Or, maybe it will simply be an uncomplicated stroll.4.        Going home. Hiking the AT Northbound brings me from Georgia to Maine, from the Deep South to New England. I like the symbolism of that. I am a New Englander by birth, returning back to the home parts after a very long time away. My family (the Sears side) came over to North America from England via Holland in the early 17th century. The man was called Richard Sayres, or, ¢Richard the Pilgrim,¢ so it is said. I¢m 11 generations away from him, my sons 12. The ship was a 200¢ 3-master called the Leiden, named after its homeport. It made land in Yarmouth, Cape Cod, MA in the autumn of 1630. Richard had left Colchester, England for the Netherlands to escape religious persecution, and find freedom. New England then drew him in from Holland by providing the promise of permanence. Though I am not being persecuted, I see my journey as loosely analogous to Old Richard¢s. Freedom and permanence. It seems somehow appropriate.5.        Birthday. I turn 50 in October this year. I¢ve had the AT hike on my mind for years, so I thought why not give it to myself as a gift? Fifty seems like a nice number. Half a century. A good chunk of a life. Probably most of it.   I don¢t know if the 50th is any more or less significant than any other birthday - probably not. But off we go in any case. Happy Birthday to me.6.        Timing is right. My family and I have been in England since 2002. We stayed after I retired from the Navy so our kids could benefit from the international experience and have time enough in school to forge some enduring friendships. We stayed through the current school year so that the eldest, Alexander (18), could graduate high school with his class ¢ which he will be doing in June [huzzah!]. Additionally, our middle son, Benjamin (11), finishes up at his school, which takes him through 5th grade. We bought a place up in the Vermont mountains a couple of years back and had some work done on it, all of which is now complete. It¢s ready. We¢re ready. All told, the time to get back to the States is 2011.   And when we get back there, before I start to work again (doing whatever ¢ see below), I figure I¢ll do this walk. 7.        Life is in the doing. Too often, people concern themselves with nothing. They wring hands about Sheen¢s psychotic break, obsess over Gaga¢s couture, run lemming-like through the aisles of Wal-Mart, and either embrace or demonize the politician of the day, based on some insipidly reasoned ideological perspective. Somehow they think it is important. At the end of their pathetic, benumbed existences they find themselves caught in a vortex of meaninglessness, feeling nothing at the end of it all, save regret. Life shouldn¢t be like that. It¢s a grim vision, yet all too common. Life should be seeing, dreaming, deciding, and doing. Choose an adventure, however small. Then begin it. Grasp and appreciate the authentic bits as you go. Finish it somewhere along the way.   The AT is one of my little adventures. 8.        Mind/Body balance. The mind works best when the body is fit. The body works best when it is enabled by an active and focused mind. A through-hike of the AT will challenge mind and body to levels I have not experienced before. I look forward to that and believe that having my physical and mental engines firing on all cylinders at such a high level is a worthy goal in itself. I expect to come back from this wander stronger in both respects. 9.        Hopes of an epiphany. I am a very fortunate guy, and grateful for it. I¢ve truly enjoyed my life up to this point. I have a great family, wonderful memories, a beautiful home and future in Vermont, a little retirement income courtesy of the U.S. Navy, and a handful of really tight friends. That said, I am totally rudderless when it comes to my future professional plans, post-AT. I've gotta do something, but I know not what. It¢s kind of refreshing, but still¢¦ Here are a few of the things I have contemplated doing after I get back from the walk:-        Do what I am doing now, critical thinking, as a consultant-        Learn Mandarin and consult in China-        Work at a co-op, perhaps specializing in artisan cheeses-        Go back to school-        Make and sell hard cider-        Open a small outdoor gear business-        Open a chicken wing take-out shop-        Start a program and teach at a local college-        Open a tavern-        Start an NGO-        Stay home and read-        Become certified and teach high school                        You can see that I am in dire need of an epiphany - some insight, some breakthrough which indicates the way ahead.   I hope something like that happens on the trail. But it may not, and I¢m prepared for that, too.So that wraps it. I hope my justifications for doing this hike are enough. You tell me.Be well.Todd