Date: 2008-06-16
From: Bear Mountain Circle, NY

To: Stealth site @ Canopus Hill Rd., NY
Miles today: 10.8
Weather: light rain

Wow...really really really tough day. Mainly because of the obvious of having to say good bye to Karen....again. It takes so much energy to push away the constant longing you feel for your loved ones, and seeing them is like a release, but separating again is just emotional torture. I'm as homesick as I've ever been out here, and it took everything I had not to just stay in the car and go home. Not because I don't want to complete this, because honestly, if I weren't as comitted to completing the AT as I am, I would have gone home today. Karen, who wants me home as much as I want to be there, time and time again proves to be the most amazing encourager by reminding me how unhappy I'll be if I don't finsh it this year, so she always tells me to just turn around and go. She's right, I know it, you all know it, but damn days like today are hard.And then there was the weather, but I'll get to that later.I didn't sleep well last nite, stressful dreams about hiking...just my brain anticipating the day I guess. We took our time this morning, and I stepped off @ 9:52 a.m. to start over the Bear Mt. Bridge, which goes over the Hudson River, which is beautiful.It was in the upper 70's and overcast. Karen had to drive over the bridge past me, and then turn around, so she pulled over at a small place and took some pics of me coming across the bridge, then she walked with me down the road a bit till just before the trail headed up the next mountain.The climb was pretty exhausting. I have had no energy at all today, but I passed a school class of 8-9 yr olds heading to Anthony's Nose. They were pretty cute.Honestly, the hiking could have been worse, but it was my own emotional\mental state that made the day hard. After the 1 mile climb towards Anthony's Nose, there was a box with a register in it, so I put the last few Econolodge brochures in it for Cathy. I hope she gets some biz from it.The trail leveled off a bit, but there were a few small climbs and descents I passed an older couple with a dalmation. I stopped right before South Mtn. Pass Rd., and got water, then moved on.I also met some day hikers later on, and on a day lke today, encoragement from a complete stranger was something I desperately needed.I hiked upon a man named Steve, from NYC, who hikes when he can. Nice guy, we hiked to the Graymore Spiritual Center, where he moved on, and I wanted to check it out. I was hoping to see the Friary, but this place is pretty big. I used the porta-john and took a picture of a crucified Jesus down aways. It had a little roof over it, and from a distance, it actually looked like the AT symbol commonly seen where the T is part of the A.I also met Peterman (NC) and Panda (TX). They were headed to a road for friends to pic them up for a zero and some Corona's. Peterman also hiked part of the trail last year, to Davenport Gap I think, and is finishing this year as well. He also believes 15-17 mile days are long eough, and he even plans 1 zero every 7 days. My kind of hiker.At US 9, there's a new convenience store about to open called the Appalachian Market. It was empty today though.I was headed to Dennytown Rd. Camp tonight, but I got to Old Albany Post Rd., took a break and ended up talking to the neighborhood parents who were all there waiting for the bus. They said they have all had Lyme Disease practically and find tics daily. So beware everyone..this area is infested apparently.So I'm about 3 miles from Canopus Hill Rd., up high, and I start hearing thunder in the distance. Oh man..here we go again. I knew Canopus Hill Rd. was the lowest elevation of my day, and it is about 3 miles away. I started high tailing it, and on part of the downhill, I somehow slipped, started going forward, dug my hiking pole in which twisted me around and I ended up on my back head downhill stuck like a freakin turtle on my back! I would have laughed, but I was getting freaked out by the weather.I got to Canopus Hill Rd. and now the thunder was moving away, so I went across and thought I'd try the last 3.7 miles to the campsite when it thundered closer again. My topos showed going up, so I said screw it. I turned around, went as low as I could, about 100 yrds off the road and decided to cook dinner and see what it was going to do. It was 4:22 p.m. now, and I strung my tarp but didn't stake it out. I made dinner and felt like the storms might miss me, and then the sun went away, and with no warning @ 5:22 p.m., the storm of a lifetime came through. I staked out my tarp and layed on my pack face down. The rain was coming down in sheets, thunder was so loud and rolling across the sky above me. Lightening was flashing constantly, and then it subsided, just for another round to start within 10 minutes.I was getting really scared, and despite the fact I was 420 ft in elevation, the lightening didn't care. It started hitting closer to me, I could tell by the volume of the thunder. Folks, you all know this is my worst nightmare (read June 13, 2007 if you don't know why.) I started realizing this just wasn't safe. A few cars had driven by, but it would not have been safe for me to just stand up there exposed.So, I put on my rain gear, thunder and lightening are cracking all over, and I ran to the road in the pouring rain. About then, I realized it's freakin hailing on me! Marble sized at first, so I spotted a parked Jeep Cherokee down a bit, and headed for it. This sounds crazy I know, but I crawled under the front of the Jeep and layed on the groud in about 1.5" of running water (downhill) in hopes it would provide me shelter from the now quarter-sized hail and lightening.(I had become the little fawn from yesterday!)I layed there waiting for a car, and in about 2 minutes of laying there with hail bouncing up from the road and hitting me in the face, I saw headlights! I hopped up, waving my arms and flagged him down. I said, "I will pay you any amount of money to take me somewhere safe, I'm hiking the AT." He said ok, and I ran down to get my gear. It's hailing bigger now, and I'm in my crocs tryng to go down a steep muddy hill and end up sliding half way down then falling. Just then, I see a bolt of lightening come straight down about 700 yrds away and I stopped in my tracks.I was in a total panic, ready to just leave all of my gear and go. I ran back to the car, and he moved it closer to my location and I headed down and packed up everythig fast (I had 1\2 of camp set up). I ran up the muddy hill again and threw my stuff in the trunk and got in.Mike, father of 2 and manager of a Kohl's Store turned the heat on for me. I thanked him profusely and told him he may have saved my life. The hail was now about the size of those little rubber balls you buy in gumball machines, and Mike decided to take me into Putnam Valley to the Sherrif's Dept, where I could possibly get a ride back. It was about 5 miles, and Mike told me we were also under Tornado Warning, and that he's lived here for 12 yrs and has never seen it hail..not once.I was just relieved to be safe, I didn't care where he took me. We got to the Sheriff's Office, and it was CLOSED! Nobody was even there! Then he tried the library, and it was closed! Now, it's been about 30 minutes, and we turned on the radio weather and realized it was pretty much past. So Mike offered to just take me back to the trail, and I said ok.I apologized if I had wasted his time, and offered him some $, but he wouldn't accept. He dropped me off around 7:30 p.m. and I walked back down where it all began. I was shaken up considerably.I set up camp and a guy came up and said hi. It was the owner of the Jeep I hid under. He (in his words) stupidly went for an afternoon hike knowing the weather was coming. He got caught 3 miles south and up and was also freaked out. He then headed to his Jeep and drove off.I got camp set up and it started raining again. I was so uptight about this I felt like I was going to puke. Folks, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO DODGE F'ING LIGHTENING OUT HERE!!! I'm doing the right things, but it doesn't seem to matter.I called Karen and for the first time on this entire hike the words, "I want to come home" came out of my mouth as tears rolled down my face.I told her about it, how afraid I was, how frustrating it is to always be in the "too close for comfort" zone. She, as she always does, talked me down, calmed me down, and told me I can always come home if I need to, but she wanted me to give it a few days. I know she's right, this is an emotionally-based decision, but I don't feel safe anymore....and that's a huge problem.I hung up and tried to journal, but am so tired from another 10 yr supply of adrenalin running thru me in the course of 3 hrs, I can't stay awake.It's a cool 67 degrees @ 9:43 p.m., and I'm going to sleep. It was a truly horrible day, and I have some re-evaluating to do tomorrow.~Certain