Date: 2010-10-25
To: View Entry
Miles today: 0.0

Well it's 7:05 and I still have 5-6 miles to go.  Although Stoker and I were up and out of our hotel by 7am, we didn't leave town until after 10.  He was lolly gagging at a diner.  Every time I coerced him it was time to start hitching, I'd walk outside only to find there was no Stoker present when I got there.  I considered just hitching out on my own but opted against it.  Stokers a bit homesick and I just didn't want him getting any ideas about heading home.  Nobody is quitting now, not after we came this far.  I'd just assume tie him up and throw him in my pack and carry him.So it's tomorrow night.  I started writing that while took a break waiting for it to get dark.  They say twilight is the most dangerous time to drive.  The same holds true for hiking.  That inbetween time when it's too light for a headlamp to be effective, but dark enough to lose your footing or misjudge the trail.  So I waited for it to get dark and headed out again with a dim head lamp and 5 miles to go. Your never going to believe what happened next.Brace yourseles. But don't get to nervous, obviously I'm still alive.I smelled a fart.  Now this may sound peculiar I know.  Often times you can smell animal poop or people poop if someone pulled off to #2 earlier.  This was the smell of human gas.  Weird.  Now it wasn't me, I have to make that clear. If I fart it's because I made a concious decision to do so.  I know my farts, every one does.  Not because mine are special but because we have all developed such keen senses that we know everyones body smell, feet smell and definately fart smell.  I mean you just can't get away with one out here.  But I smelled one.  Now all my buddies are way ahead of me.  I was hiking really slow and stopped for the sunset.  This is important....my buddies were already at camp 5 miles ahead.The woods can be tricky at night, especially with a really dim headlamp.  I was very concerned my headlamp would die and I'd be stuck.  Your mind goes into over drive trying to process information.....sounds, smells, the trail.  It's a bit spooky.  Pleasant but spooky.  My friends were already at camp.  This is not a popular section of trail I was on.  Pretty mundane actually, a section that stretches 4 boring rocky miles between roads.I have good instincts....I've always had creepy accurate intuition.  Something didn't seem right.  I sensed a threat.  But it's night....even your intuition can wander in the dark.Than it came.....all at once.  Suddenly there was the bright light that illuminated everything in front of me.  Certainly easy to distinguish from my dim head lamp.When your a combat soldier in the Army you learn about ambushes.  You learn about alot of things, but ambushes are one of them.  Now you hope to always be on the giving end of an ambush, but you gotta learn what to do if your ever caught in one.There are two types.  Far side ambush and near side ambush. A far side ambush is usually artillery.  Imagine a group of soldiers walking across a valley in the open and an explosion occurs near by.  This means there is a spotter in the hills calling an artillery strike.  When this happens, the officer will yell a direction and distance.  We pop off a couple smoke grenades and run that distance and direction.....200 meters 12 o'clock.  Than you keep doing that until you make it to cover, zig zagging so they can't zero in on you.A near side ambush is the bad one.  This is when a group of enemy is waiting closely for you to pass.  Then they open fire and toss grenades with the intention of killing you.As the bright light was closing in on me, I realized I was in a near side ambush. Somebody was coming fast.....less than ten feet.  It's night, it's dark....this is not a friendly encounter.  There have been a dozen or more murders on the AT.  There are some shady cats that linger on this trail.Sgt. Fuller could really be a prick sometimes, but he cared about us.  On one training excercise I was leading a squad in reacting to a near side ambush. In a near side ambush you've got to react as if your already dead. You've got to sell out.  The only prayer is to directly attack the ambushers.  Everybody turns, fires and rushes right into it.  No point in hitting the ground because they have already tossed grenades before they started firing. Your only chance is to overwhelm them with fierce intensity.  I thought we'd done ok, but he pulled me to the side afterwards.  Usually your always called by your last name in the Army, but Sgt. Fuller had a way of getting face to face and making it personal when he wanted to make a point.  "What did you do wrong John".  "I don't know".  Violence.  You've got to be violent.American soldiers have an extreme capacity for violence.  They are experts at making boys violent.  However, they do it such a way that people don't know it.  We are still good respectful guys, but if the situation arises you would not believe what we are capable of. The light was brighter...closing fast.  My friends are at camp.  In a nano second I piece together the smell, the intution, and the fact that there are two roads with parking areas on either side of this section of trail.  Whoever was coming, had been waiting, I would have heard or seen their lamp if they came from a ways back.Sgt Fuller told me we lacked "violence of action".  You gotta sell out.....your already dead.  Violence of action is a key word in combat training.  He put his hands on my shoulders and reiterated the point.  I often use this method with nursing students when I want them to remember something.....it works.  "John, someday this may happen. Maybe not in combat. Maybe during a break-in to your home, a hold up in a gas station.  When it does, your going to have to be violent".My girlfriend thinks I'm a Teddy bear and could never be violent.  I wish she were right.  But not last night I didn't.I braced for violence of action.  My fight or flight reaction was in overdrive.  This was not a friendly encounter. I know when I turn around I'm gonna have just a moment to evaluate the threat and respond.  If I'm being attacked by a crazy backwoods guy, I'm not fooling around, I'm going for the kill.  You have no idea what they've got, or what they are capable of.  I've got to sell out. If your attacking me on the woods at night.....I consider that life or death.Clipped on my right pocket is a pocket knife.  It has a quick opening device.  When I was trying to decide which one to buy, Aubrey told me to envision the worst Case scenario in which I'd use it.  I envisioned a last ditch attempt against a hungry attacking bear, or.......this.I threw down my right trekking pole and reached for my knife.  I would use my left pole as a first defense to throw him off balance.  If in that split second of turning around I percieve a deadly threat, I'll be going for the throat with my knife.  There is no time to be scared, but I found time anyway.  I was scared.As I turned around the light was very bright.  My attacker was right in front of me......this is it.........oh God.I couldn't believe what I saw next.  It was God.  Not literally, but figuratively.  The bright light was the moon.I laughed.....ok nobody saw that.  You see all at once I stepped into a spot where it was no longer hidden by a mountain.  All at once it was clear and bright.  All the sudden I could see the trail clearly.  I turned off my dim light and followed the big one up above.  It wasn't attacking me, or hindering me, it was guiding me.  And I was ready to kill it!!  I like to write.  I find abstract ideas in the things that happen and try to put them into words.  I thought about it all night and all day.  My army friend Danny and I used to have long conversations after mass on Sunday nights.  He was a bit older and a mentor of sorts.  He'd always say "you gotta be in the light John"You do have to be in the light.  Lights will guide you home.This leaves a lingering question.  It begs the question even.  What about the fart?  Well, I don't know.  But I swear it wasn't me.