Date: 2009-04-29
From: Max Patch

To: Bluff Mountain
Miles today: 13.1

"I've Always Wanted to Boo a Bear"In the morning after we packed and everyone got back on the trail, Liz and I helped Maxwell install his art sculpture on the top of Max Patch. It was an 8' by 8' lattice work of sticks lashed together between two large branches that were sharpened on the bottom so he could pound them in the ground to stand. We erected the structure and stood back to take pictures with the Smokies and the bald in the background. Maxwell (now called Silver Hammer) is doing a series of art pieces and written word along the Trail for class credit toward his degree. After taking a moment to admire his handiwork, Liz and I got back on the Trail. It was a pleasant hike that morning. We met back up with Heather, Bobbie and Jr a miles down the trail at Roaring Fork Shelter where we all had a snack and took a break. Later we met up with Jen and Calamity to have lunch at Lemon Gap, a picturesque spot by a mountain stream. We decided to make it a short day and just hike on to the next shelter. But when we reached Walnut Mountain Shelter, we found it bug infested and littered, the privy was a dump and the water source was a mosquito infested pool. So we moved on. A few miles later, in a gap after Walnut shelter and just before the big climb up Bluff Mountain, we found a nice sport with a thick bed of pine needles that looked welcoming. We debated staying there or knocking out that big push up the mountain, but a light drizzle and Calamity finding a good water source, convinced us to stay. We were joined by Jen, Calamity, Maxwell and Jr, and later by Green Lite and Blue Sky, who saw our fire and decided to stop for the night. Almost everyone turned in early except for Stone Skipper and I who stayed up for a bit by the fire. Around 10:30, we heard some rummaging by the Trail and assumed Junior was getting something out of his food bag, which was hung in a tree just outside of camp along the trail. A minute later, there was a crashing noise and Junior yelled from his tent, "A Bear just got my food bag!" So everybody jumped from their tents and Junior, Stone Skipper, Calamity and I donned our headlamps and charged at the bear, yelling and throwing whatever was within reach. The bear turned and ran off. He hadn't gotten much - a toothbrush, a can of Pringles, smoked oysters and a bag of chex mix. But Junior's food bag was slashed open at the bottom and ruined. I gave him an extra stuff sack I had and we tried to clean up all the remains of his food bag and rehang his bag. Shaken a bit, we took a hard look at all the food bags to make sure the bear couldn't get anymore. Maxwell's, though, was hung on a low branch pretty near to our tents in camp so we suggested he rehang it as well. But he decided it'd be ok since it was near people. Maxwell, you may remember from other entries, once declared back at Neel's Gap that "Bears are pussies" because they are afraid of dogs. And earlier that night around the campfire, he talked about his lifelong dream to "Boo" a bear and attack it's self esteem. He lamented that he hadn't gotten out of his hammock soon enough to help us chase away the bear and may have missed his chance. But it turned out he would have plenty more opportunities. Liz and I hung our food bags pretty well - about 15 feet up on a sturdy branch and over 6 feet from the tree (food bags should be hung at least 10 feet up and 4 feet away from the tree so a bear can't reach it from the ground or from the tree). Calamity and Stone Skipper had their bags on the same branch but only about three feet from the tree. So we took theirs down and Junior tried to rethrow his line - but realized that the pocket rocket stove he used as a weight at the end of the line made a better grappling hook then a weight and kept getting stuck in the tree. So after some time trying to get his stove and line out of the tree, all the while on constant watch for the bear, we finally decided to lower our line and hang all five bags together on one line. We returned back to camp and startled to settle in again, happy with our bags hanging and exhausted, we heard that familiar and terrible sound of branches breaking in the dark. The bear had returned. All of us, except for GreenLite and Blue Sky who stayed in their tent, charged back out with our headlamps, some makeshift spears Maxwell made out of sticks and rocks, to scare off the bear. Liz had Einstein on the leash and stayed back a bit to guard the rear and make sure the bear didn't sneak up from behind. There was no sign of him but we knew he was there. Someone turned their headlamp upward and there he was - overhead, in the tree by our food bags. He was at least 12 feet up the tree, just below the bags. We shined our lights and yelled but the bear seem unfazed. He just kept right on. Maxwell finally had his chance to boo a bear and we all joined in - "Boo!!" and casting aspersions about its upbringing and that the bear was homeless and no good. The bear remained unfazed so we started lobbing rocks at it - the bear shot up another 10 feet in the three, looked at us and hissed back! (Whoever heard of a bear hissing?) We started to run out of names to call the bear so broke into singing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody just to keep the noise going. Finally the bear had had enough of our singing and throwing rocks at it that it came down from the tree, shot us a dirty look - we thought he was going to charge us - then turned and waddled back in the dark. We gave chase for a few hundred yards then returned to camp. Realizing the bear's persistence, we stoked up the fire and discussed whether to take shift watching camp or pack up and hike through the night. Maxwell and Junior sharpened more spears for each of us (probably more out of nervous energy then with any hope they'd protect us). Soon enough, we heard the bear at it again. Einstein caught wind of it first and growled to alert us.   Then for the next few hours we would rush into the woods, shouting and waving lights, looking for the green eyes of the bear. This went on for about a half dozen times. Einstein, not really sure what he should be doing, backed us up with some howling and barking. We were convinced he was finally gone when from another side of camp, there was a crash, this time very close by. I got out of the tent first and pointed my headlight toward the sound to find the bear in the campsite, bending down the tree with Maxwell's bag hanging on it. He had already slashed the bottom of one bag, spilling its contents on the ground and was trying to get the other bag. I yelled and flashed my headlamp at him but he just looked at me, dismissed me as a nuisance, and went right back to swatting at the other bag. Others emerged from their tents and we once again charged with spears and rocks and the bear slowly turned and waddled off. Without being able to see the reflection in his eyes, we couldn't tell which was he had gone. But we saw him a few dozen yards away, lying in the tall grass behind a bush, waiting for us to go back to sleep. We cleaned up Maxwell's food bag and it appeared that all the bear could get was his spork. Maxwell finally took our advice to rehang his bag and added it to all of ours together. Even though there were already five bags, and if the bear got one, he'd get them all, we decided to go for it. By this time it was 2:30 in the morning. We figured if the bear got our food now, he deserved it for his persistence. We hung the bags and called it a night. We were all still pretty shaken up so Calamity and Stone Skipper moved into our tent for the night. We heard the bear come back a few times but we were too tired to fight, and eventually passed out.