Date: 2003-12-22
To: It's all about the mojo.
Miles today: 0.0

I'm sure I am not the only one, but a great hiking trip can only be pulled off with the proper mojo (I'm not referring to that Austin Powers crap either). Mojo being defined, in my own scholarly way ¢ ¢As the sequence of ritual practices that one partakes in prior to and concluding one's hike.¢For example, all hiking trips begin and end with the proverbial American road trip. Elements of the road trip typically include the POS car, some buddies, music for the occasion, snacks, tasteless jokes, and some homespun post-modern-neo-transcendentalist philosophical diatribe that can be espoused to the other members in the car (you know, all that hippie ¢fight the system¢ malarkey¢¦.the very system that allows you to earn the money to purchase your gear and take such a trip). Anywho, the following is a brief overview of my mojo - First, to get from point A to point B you gotta show you car some love. After a good tune up to my classic 1994 Nissan, (rusted and scratched in all the appropriate places mind you), I saddle it up with the portable CD player, road map, and gear I am taking with me. Fully equipped, I¢m ready to drive. Second, to set the proper tone for the trip, only the finest music can be listened to. The standard includes Rage Against the Machine, Metallica, a home-mix of thug rap, and other pissed off songs. It should be noted that on the way to the hiking location the music selections tend to be more aggressive to get hyped up. After all, what is a trip without laying down some serious miles?Third, food selection is perhaps the most critical aspect of the mojo. Obviously, if you don¢t eat well you can¢t hike well. My on-the-road food selections (enroute to destination) include:        Pizza flavored Combos      Mountain Dew              Chocolate frosted pop-tarts        With all the necessary maintenance performed, music selected, and food purchased the cruise is set at 78 mph and we¢re off. Now, I prefer driving through the night. Typically, I will have been up for about 36-40 straight hours at the conclusion of my first hiking day. For example, on the day I am going to leave - I wake up, go to work, go to my evening class, and then hit the road after lecture. After a drive through the night, I arrive when the park visitor center opens, get my permit, and do the first days hike and proceed to crash at the campsite. A super long day¢¦.all part of the mojo.Fourth, hike the planned trip.Fifth, drive back home. This entails arriving back at your car following the trip, changing into clean clothes (typically done in the parking lot ¢ I have no shame), and letting the car warm-up for precisely 12 minutes. Good to go.Sixth, music on the car ride home must be reflective of the outdoor experience just had. Considering, I have just traipsed through the woods for the past several days and am most thoroughly relaxed, the musical selections tend to be mellower. Some classic rock (including the Eagles, Doobie Brothers, Neil Young), select country tunes, and the master of all folk music Arlo Guthrie are listened to. And in small doses, John Denver can be tolerated (Ben).Seventh, having worked up a ravenous appetite on the trail, I typically nail the following food on the way home. To not eat this would just be wrong:         Fruit Punch Gatorade        Chocolate covered Flips        Burger King ¢ (Chicken Sandwich w/ extra mayonnaise and chocolate                      shake).                Eighth, to top it all off, one dozen Krispy Kremes are purchased and devoured in all their gloriousness. After Spring Break 2003, I shit you not; Ben and I laid to waste two dozen Kremes in less than 10 minutes. Ninth, if you follow the aforementioned points, I guarantee you will make it to your destination point and back home safe and sound. So let us review what¢s important for good mojo.1.) Your car might be an old and fickle POS, but if you take care of it, it    will take care of you.2.) It¢s okay to get in touch with your inner hippie. After all, we're    inevitably bound to return to the real world so we can make money to have    and appreciate more outdoor adventures.3.) Musical selections should be opposite enough in genre to satisfy that bi-    polar side of your personality.4.) Finally, you should have a road trip menu of fatty, non-nutritious,    preservative laden food that would make a naturalist cringe in disgust.With that in mind I hope everyone has wonderful outdoor adventures!Andy