Date: 2003-02-19
To: Welcome to New Zealand
Miles today: 0.0

Welcome to New ZealandThree weeks in New Zealand is not enough. I traveled up and down both the North and South Island for 3 weeks, and I could have stayed for 3 months. N Zed (as the locals call it) looks like a scattering of English villages and teal-colored lakes set in the middle of the Swiss Alps, with the muzak from your local dentist office playing the background. And the New Zealanders themselves: imagine British people who were allowed to play outside, with an accent somewhat Australian but more subdued, respect for the land and native peoples, and Southern hospitality just radiating from them.   One of the highlights of this trip was the song "Hey, Crawdaddy" that I wrote while hiking. It is soon to be a classic. I didn't see any hobbits, any tricksy hobbits, but my feet are getting bigger and I've started eating second breakfast and elevensies. It was summer in New Zealand, and the whole country was filled with backpackers, both N Zeds and foreigners alike, especially Germans and Australians. For those of you who haven¢t had the chance to travel in Europe or Asia Pacific, almost every town, no matter the size, has at least one backpackers where you can get a bunk and access to a communal bathroom for much less than the cost of a hotel room. There is a fine tradition in Europe, New Zealand, and Australia of taking a year or two off during your twenties to see the world. I met dozens of young people who had "around the world" plane tickets and were traveling by themselves or in small groups for months at a time. These people were all young and beautiful, the latter due mostly to the former. I also met several families who were doing similar trips. Many backpackers were doing stints at organic farms, working a few hours a day in exchange for a bunk and a few meals. I fielded many questions along the lines of "what the heck does the US think they are doing in Iraq", in response to which I just shook my big round American head. Even if I don't completely agree with our foreign policy, I didn't feel comfortable discussing it outside my own country.The "show your bellybutton and love handles low-rider pants" fad has reached Asia Pacific. I¢d like to thank plumbers and electricians everywhere.The food in New Zealand is just awful. It is British food: kidney pie, blood pudding; this is fodder for a Fear Factor episode. If you stick to the kabob stands, you¢re alright, but I found myself frequenting Subway, Starbucks, Burger King, and a hideous little invention called McCafe, the McDonald¢s version of a caf©. The Visitors¢ Centres and national park offices in New Zealand were studies in friendliness and effective marketing. They would make suggestions, get to know your interests, make phone calls for you, and make any kind of reservation for you, even in a different town. In the US, only the Santa Fe, New Mexico visitor¢s center comes anywhere close. I would like to apologize to the fine people of New Zealand for the American television imported into their country. New Zealand only has 4 TV channels, and there is generally a really bad American program on at least one channel at all times. Example: The Nanny. I¢m so sorry.   However, they do have access to some underrated gems, such as The Division, a Lifetime drama starring Nancy McKeon (Jo from Facts of Life) as a loose, drunk, San Francisco cop. Now that¢s television. I took the ferry across the Auckland harbor through the America¢s Cup madness to the small town of Devonport, which is similar to Sausalito (a town on the San Francisco bay) without all the insanely rich people. There I had my first encounter with the New Zealand donut. It was love at first sight. Vendors sell tiny little donuts, about 2 inches in diameter, piping hot and fresh off tiny little conveyer belts, at carts along the street. I must have had about 30 of those little donuts before my gag reflex kicked in.