Date: 2003-05-16
From: Wood's Hole Shelter

To: Bull Gap campsite
Miles today: 5.2

It's going to be tough keeping track of the days out here!In spite of going to bed later last night I'm awake earlier this morning - it's 7am. Feels kind of good - only two others are up so far. I like to have the quiet time to read my Bible and pray.With some of the money Annie sent me for graduation I bought a simple gold band to wear as a symbol of my commitment to God while I am out here hiking. I don't expect everyone to understand this (although Annie thought it was an awesome idea), but if there is anything I don't want this hike to be about it's looking for a relationship. This hike is about me and God. That's not to say that if I happened to meet someone really cool that I wouldn't consider the possibility; I just don't want to be looking for that, and I don't want to get involved until I'm done with this. The next time I get seriously involved with someone I want it to be God's choice, not mine, and I want to trust Him with that choice. So for now I am just committing myself to Him. A personal thing, again something I don't expect everyone to understand.So today we will climb Blood Mountain, the highest and probably most challenging of the week. We may stop there for the night, or we may to into Neels Gap and look around. I'd like to see the Walasi-Yi Center, maybe get some advice from the experts!We're scheduled to be picked ups ome time Saturday afternoon by Matt's roommate there in Neels Gap. I find myself looking forward to seeing Steve! He's a good guy. Then Matt will bring me back to the Trail Sunday after the wedding.Just now I hear a faint undertone of buzzing bees and it really sets me on edge. Flashback to my semi-traumatic (but very funny) bee episode at Fall Creek Falls last September... A simple bathroom stop in the woods turned into an 18-sting nightmare for me, 21-stings for my friend. Needless to say that trip was cut a little short.Excitement hung in the air this morning as we all ate and packed up - we were going to town today! Someone said they wanted a Coke; Chris said he wanted a burger and a beer; Summer said, "I want a coconut mocha decaffeinated with soymilk." We all laughed - not likely to find that in Neels Gap.Then we hatched a plan: call Steve on Summer's cell phone and tell him we'll be there early! Matt couldn't get him, but left him a message. Then we thought for sure he must have left to come down early since he doesn't work on Fridays. Well, we got to Neels Gap at 12:15 (it was not particularly easy - Blood Mountain isn't so bad coming up, but somewhat brutal coming down), stayed until 3:45, and numerous phone calls later ended up hiking the 1.1 miles on to the next campsite.I was irritated - not at anyone in particular, just in general. Examining it, I decided the frustration came partly from the typical group-decision-making "I don't care" phenomenon, partly from the uncertainty, and partly from the fact that things didn't go "as planned." Well thank God I realize I better throw that attitude out the window if I think I'm going to make it to Maine!We just pushed harder this week than I expected to and got here early, that's all. Now I've hiked beyond where I planned to be dropped off Sunday night, and in my present state of mind repeating that 1.1 mile climb is not appealing. I may jump back in at the next road access and skip 4.4 miles of Trail. I don't know, we'll see how I feel on Sunday.The frustration started to lead to discouragement, but I stopped myself and said, "I'm still hiking the AT; it's still a beautiful day; the birds are still singing." That helped.Now I'm sitting in my tent - first time for the week - and it feels os good to just BE. Nothing I have to do, not so tired I could drop; I'm just here. "My heart wells up with hallelujahs."Several more hikers joined us at the campsite, and I got a lesson in Hanging Food to Protect it from Bears 101. (Thanks Ross from Bozeman, MT!) Now I just need to practice 1000 more times and I'll be an expert...