Date: 2015-03-05
From: Blue Ridge, VA

To: View Entry
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: snow

OMG is it truly only 5 more days till put up or shut up time ? Seems as if the closer I get to actual start date the more agonizing the wait becomes. I find myself lying awake at night just thinking about the trail. I've lost sleep over her already. She has such a strong and powerful pull. It's hard to explain. I can't explain. I think it's safe to say that only you fellow hikers awaiting your own start date can truly understand what it's like to experience that powerful pull towards the white blazes. Yesterday I fulfilled several obligations with friends. Breakfast date, lunch date. I felt like I gained 10 lbs. Putting on a pre hike energy source I suppose. Putting it on now so I can hike it off later. It snowed, AGAIN, here in Blue Ridge today, about 5 inches. The third heavy snow in about 2 weeks. I'm tried of snow now. Yea I know what do I have to complain about, the hikers already on the trail have certainly caught a doze of bad weather this year. By their writings on trail journals they are all coping well with the adverse winter conditions they have had to experience. I'm sure they all have learned, if they did not already know it that Mother nature does not change for you, you must learn to change for her. I have greatly admired the determination and tenacity that the early thru hikers have shown the past few months. Their writings have inspired me. Their pictures have allured me. Home chore duties were on the agenda for today. Shoveling snow, hanging a new doorbell. Tomorrow I must show the wife, V, how to change the line on the weed eater spool, how to change the furnace filter along with some other household chores. I'm sure some night I'll be lying in my sleeping bag remembering other things I should have gone over with her. I only want our time away from each other to be as easy on her as possible. After all she is the one who has to shoulder the burden of me being away all summer on my AT vacation. Speaking of home duties I must admit I am feeling somewhat guilty about leaving my wife behind with all the home front responsibilities. She will certainly have her hands full, not only coping with me being gone but also mowing grass, vehicle and home maintenance, working her own job and if that alone is not enough keeping my trail journal updated as well. The realization of me being away from home all summer lays heavy on our minds. I will miss her terribly. As we count down the few remaining days we have left together before heading to Springer I at times find myself on the verge of being close to crying, especially if I let myself dwell on the moment. How can you express the feelings one has when you know you are leaving the one you love for months on end ? Being away from one another will be in a lot of ways good for us I have to believe. I hope it proves to bring us closer together. Don't get me wrong I want this opportunity to hike the AT more then anything else in the world right now. I truly feel that if something bad were to happen now and I would forever lose the opportunity to attempt this hike I would for the rest of my life so regret it after getting this close. I can't sit here and write that I'm one hundred percent sure I'll make it to Katahdin but I certainly deeply desire and am thankful for the opportunity to try. What I can say is that I will give the trail one hundred percent of my effort. She will give me her beauty and teach me her lessons , I will give her my all in return. To show you how much this hike dwells on my mind right now the wife and I went out to lunch together today. As I mentioned before it snowed again here. The roads were bad. I really did not want to go out and that's so unlike me, I usually don't mind a bit. The whole time I was driving I found myself being especially cautious. The (what if something happened) weighed heavy on my mind the whole time we were out. I have found that just being given the opportunity to attempt this undertaking has changed me in so many ways already. And to think I have not even hiked past the first white blaze yet. How many and what kind of lessons does she have in store for me in the months to come ? I do not have much longer to wait in order to find out. March 10 can not come soon enough. I hope to see you in the mountains.                  Roubaix