Date: 2007-07-08
From: Lehigh Gap

To: Wind Gap
Miles today: 20.7
Weather: broken clouds

Somewhere along the way, a switch has been turned on (or off) in me. I've relaxed and have become a nonchallant traveller -- happy go lucky and able to switch gears at a moments notice. The rigid structure I had from working and living in the city has crumbled, and I'm literally living day to day, moment to moment. It feels divine. I think it first began when I realized, that though I'm out her to hike the AT, a host of opportunities and options awaits me if I choose to get off of the beaten path. I'm really doing some lovely solitary wondering at this point. On the trail and off...And today was spent off of the trail, but very much in the spirit of the trip. What I'm trying to say is this: I yellow blazed for the first time! The area around Lehigh Gap has been devasted by the old Palmerton zinc industry. The hills are stripped bare, there are no birds, and the land is just coming back to life after the abuses given to it made it die. It's depressing as hell. Looking across the valley, I got a lump in my throat -- the land looked so dead, a deadness made more pronouced by the fact that I've been travelling through lush vibrant forest for the past few months. And, I know that I'm partially responsible for this and other environmental damage because of the way I live. I'm not sure if it was guilt or revulsion or both, but I couldn't will myself to walk through the devastion. So, I hitched a ride to Wind Gap, averting my eyes from the dead ridgeline as the car sped past. I suppose it's cowardly in the same way my avoidance of hospital rooms is, but I'm glad to have skipped it. Will I return to hike this short area? Perhaps, but not on this trip. Lehigh requires the sort of contemplation that calls for a trip of its own. So, I spent the day alone in Wind Gap thinking (and trying not to think of) the sort of devastation we humans are capable of. At rest, these thoughts were way more managable than they would have been on foot, because right now, being on foot is nothing but pure joy, and I don't wish to endanger that.It may seem ironic that I bought a cheap plastic cell phone after this reaction, but I wanted to talk to the people I care for. The powerful impulse to connect, balanced out my inability to walk through the superfund sight; a psychological counter-attack and regeneration, if you will.Ira Fine, of Fine Lodging, gave me the ride to Wind Gap. He's not such a bad fellow, though I do question his business practices to a degree. I felt tired and vulnerable and apalled when I walked into Lehigh Gap, making myself an open wound for any sort of salt to be poured into. Hiking the trail has put me into such a trusting state that any let down , now matter how petty, burns fiercely. It's like being a child again and having that moment when you realize that the world is far less than perfect (you know, when you first realized that your parents were actually humans, imperfect creatures capable of having faults). I guess out here, regression is becoming my mode of growth, and I'm back peddling through a lot of emtions that I haven't visited in a long while.Tomorrow, I will walk with joy again.