Date: 2004-05-12
From: Maine

To: View Entry
Miles today: 15.0

May 12, 2004Got to eat crow the other day. Locked-in to the schedule of theSlackpack Sixpack, all of us slackin' together with Krispy Kritterthanks to the patience and driving efforts of his lovely wife Jackie, Iwound up being driven up a mountain and dropped at what was supposed tohave been the tail end of the day's hike. Result: a Sobo day. Fuck! And I swore I would never hike southbound! But it was mob rule. Allof us in the back of the truck all the way up some winding mountainroad to find the end to show Jackie where to pick us up and hell, oncethere, why not just get out here and sobo? Group decision. So I hikedpast Switchback, Zippy & the girls, Beatbox, Sox, you name it, all with mudon my face after bitchin' at sobo'ers in the past. Oh, well. Thefantastic hospitality, assistance and trail magic administered byJackie and Krispy made for a great week. I think I'll live. Happy Birthday to Ranger Jim. The maniac from New York is hiking 37miles today, one for every year of his life. Heard a lot of music by the Carter Family on the radio down here,something to do with the 75th anniversary of the music's recording, orsomething crazy like that. Love the stuff. I have decided that nerdy little Danny Ashman from Massachusetts isreally Bill Gates' son in disguise. There could be celebrities amongus. How would we know? No one uses his or her real names. Except: ahah! Danny Ashman, who insists on using his "real name." Which is whatleads me to believe he isn't who he says he is.   Pirate is another suspect character. I long ago decided that Pirate isreally Slugworth. The aging, portly, bearded old sailor who, to watchhis gait, appears to move as much sideways with each step as forward,and who to swallow whole his shanty tales of trail life has beenwandering the AT for some 14 years now, is not I believe the rovingrebel he purports to be but is in fact an agent for the Other Side.   I have deduced that there exists a secret Appalachian TrailOrganization which, until we discover its true name, we will call theATCIA. In this organization, there are many cells, and sub cells, andtangential wandering arms and bodies, but important for our story hereis that Pirate is ONE OF THEM. Pirate wears a black t-shirt with ablue blaze down the middle, quite proudly proclaiming himself a "blueblazer" or one who take blue blazed short cuts whenever possible. Blueblazing, to the purist AT thruhiker, is akin to stealing theEverlasting Gobstopper from Willy Wonka and giving it to Slugworth forfree, just to spite Wonka.   If my theory holds true, Slugworth.. er, Pirate, is an agent out on thetrail, much like a narc, to wrongly encourage blue blazing and reportback to headquarters in Harper's Ferry with a list of those who do. Akind-of Pied Piper of Blue Blazing, Pirate lures us with hisencyclopedic knowledge of the trail into taking the easy route toMaine. But just you wait, Blue Blazers! Just you wait until you applyfor your Official AT Thruhike patch at year's end! Forget it! In thewords of Willy Wonka, "YOU GET NOTHING!" Congratulations to Jade in Bisbee, Arizona for her wonderful winningEarth Day essay on bats. I loved it. Thank you Gramma Kate, for thatand for your unfailing cards and letters at my EVERY mail drop. JackJester finds it a wonderful comfort. One night at Tilly Woods "Wood's Hole" shelter, a lovely old house andhostel of chestnut and oak deep in the woods, I write:I am a machineCut and pull back the Gortex Skin of my arm andSee only Snickers, granola, Mylar, and REI gearI am a Twinkie assembly lineA porcupineA crab with titanium pinchersI am a devourer of roots, rocks, moss and pineTerminator of the ATAnd I will not stop, ever!Until you, Sarah Connor, are dead!(er.. I mean, until I reach Maine)The end.-RSM**For the full story of Rick's journey - visit Jigglebox.com**