Date: 2016-01-25
To: My Lists
Miles today: 0.0

How many of you have read Appalachian Trials? Ive read it twice this fall. I give credit to Badger. It is an entertaining book with a clear message. He hooks the counselor in me. Like most people, Im not one to take a close look at myself. I'd rather keep my potential shortcomings buried deep inside thank you very much! But I like his thinking. Make lists he says, why you want to hike the trail, how will you feel once you successfully finish, what will it be like if you give up? Carry the lists with you he says. Refer to them weekly. Refer to them when the shine wears off; when your cold, tired, hungry, miserable, when you're ready to bail. I first read the book last September when I fully committed to the trip. It took me until tonight to actually make those lists. And tonight I share them with you, and me, so I can refer back to pre-hike entry 20 when the going gets tough. I am thru hiking the Appalachian Trail because¢¦-I have wanted to do this since I was 13 years old.-I love hiking.-I like being self-sufficient.-I want to complete something really big and hard.-My Dad would be proud to know I did it since he instilled in me a true love of the outdoors.-He¢d also be proud that I actually did it after supporting me through a false start or two.-I want to see other parts of the country up close and personal.-I want to hang out with people from the south.-I want to spend time in North Carolina and see what it¢s like and what fun it could be to live there.-I want to be an integral part of the trail community.-I am goal oriented and this is a pretty admirable goal.-I want to lose it emotionally on Mt. Katahdin because I actually thru hiked the trail.-I want my kids to be proud of me and to see that people can do whatever they set their mind to.-I have become boring in my middle class American societally accepted life.-I am tired of doing all the right things for others and want to do something totally for me.-I need a break from my job.-I want to refresh my perspective on my relationship.-I want to be like Eric Ryback because I thought he was the bomb when I was 15.-I want other people to think that I am strong, determined, and awesome for at least one reason.-I want to be a good role model for others.-I want to feel independent, strong and confident.-I want to put my money where my mouth is.-I want to feel good about eating whatever I want whenever I can.-I don¢t have opportunities to take any real risks in life any more.-I want to re-capture the feeling of being adolescent.-I want my backcountry knowledge and skills to be put to the test.-I want my life to depend on those skills and be solely responsible for the outcome!When I successfully thru hike the AT I will¢¦-Be a fucking rock star in my own mind!!-Know that I can do anything I set my mind to. -Have fulfilled a lifelong dream.-Feel supremely confident for at least awhile.-Encourage others to grow through their own adventures.-Go to sleep happy.-Wonder if I will fit seamlessly back into my own life.-Use lessons learned to continue to take further risks in my remaining years.-Find inner peace.-Move somewhere new.-Have gotten it right the first time. (This one is for Johnnie lips!)-Dance with my daughter on her wedding day. If I give up on the Appalachian Trail I will¢¦-Have failed once again.-Let myself down.-Disappoint everyone who has supported me along the way.-Be wimpy.-Be weak of mind.-Likely have to try it again.-Lose credibility.-Feel unfulfilled.-Have let the dream slip away.-Never forgive myself.-Seriously regret it down the road.-Have a tough time living it down.-Be a crappy role model.-Survive. For what its worth!