Date: 2006-04-06
From: Old Orchard Shelter

To: Va. 603
Miles today: 1.7

Messenger and Panther didn¢t make it the shelter last night so I decided to wait for them. I woke up made a fire and just stared at it. In my silence I realized a lot of things. First that I should probably see a Doctor since at this point I can barely walk without serious pain, second that I may not be able to continue in my journey. The first epiphany didn¢t affect me much, Doctor¢s don¢t scare me, but the second shook me up a bit. I have not yet seriously thought about having to give up yet. I have wanted too quite often but I would never do so. Now this may be a reality. I was stunned, scared. A voice welded up deep inside me somewhere that said ¢but I don¢t want to leave, I haven¢t yet gotten what I have come out here for, no please no, the adventure can¢t be over yet¢. I have to admit I was utterly surprised by this unguarded gut level response to my situation. I thought I might actually be excited about leaving this killer never ending hike. I have been walking for nearly 2 months and I am still not halfway done... But when I wasn¢t paying attention I had an exact opposite response. It broke my heart to think about returning to the matrix of the world. It¢s quite strange isn¢t it that we don¢t appreciate or love something well until it is too late. Only until I have almost lost this life alter trip did I begin to relish in it. I have yet to sit back and marvel at what I am actually attempting here. I have yet to get on my knees and thank God for giving me this opportunity. I have just moaned and whined. I do this with everything in my life. Why can¢t I just love those people around me while they are here while we are together? Why do I have to wait its too late? Every now and then I show them with some empty words how much they truly mean to me, but that is nothing. I want to love deeply and truly the characters and the setting and the plot that I am in at every moment. But I think that is impossible. I am human. But as I sat by this fire I finally knew at least for this moment that I desperately loved where I was at and the pilgrimage of the soul that I am on. This time in my life is surely divine. I wonder how long I will hold onto this moment? Well Messenger and Panther arrive around 2:30pm and we made a game plan were Messenger and I would hitch into Troutsdale and hitch to Marion in the morning for a foot doctor and catch up with Panther the next day. So we walked about 1.7 miles to the road and finally got a hitch to the hostel. We ate dinner at the only place in town and the waitress had a splint on her foot. I ask her about her injury and such and she told us about her foot doctor in Marion. So we decided to head there in the morning. We also heard some folks at a nearby table talking about a church service so Messenger ask the waitress and she said her daughter was bringing a bus load of kids to a Revival service tonight in the county nearby. So the daughter swung by and picked us up and we headed to a true Southern Baptist Revival service out in the middle of nowhere. So stayed outside for a bit and then used the rest room and finally limped in about a minute late and couldn¢t find Messenger anywhere. Finally my eyes gazed to the front and I saw him in the back row of the choir! I laughed hard and didn¢t want him to have all the fun so I headed up to sing. We sang loud and it was great. Those classic hymns are beautiful. We finally sat down and the Pastor told everyone to get saved many times and had about 8 alter calls. This just affirmed my belief that we have to know that we are lost before we can be saved. We have to know what we are being saved from to start to slightly understand the gift that has been over to us. ¢Being Saved¢ has become so churchy that it has lost much meaning in repetition. Sadly the words become hallow to churched and the unchurched unlike.