Date: 2018-08-22
From: Full Goose Shelter

To: Grafton Notch
Miles today: 9.7

If I was going to quit on a bad day, today would have been it. I¢d like to say it was my worst day on the trail, but that may only be true because it is the freshest in my mind and I haven¢t yet fully ¢recovered¢. Part of my misery was based on my own decisions and I admit that I set myself up for some of our troubles.We were both tired when morning came. We knew it would be a difficult day and we tried our best to get moving early. Cole had left his sox outside overnight and they were wet. We had left most of our extra clothes behind to make our packs lighter, but I did have my heavy sleeping sox. He was was able to stretch my sox enough to get them on his feet which are four sizes larger than mine. When our neighbours emerged from their tent I apologized for our late arrival. They were very gracious about it.It was 7:30 when we headed out.It began to rain shortly before we reached Mahoosuc Notch. I¢m not quite sure how to describe this part of the trail in order to do it justice, but I will try. It is a deep ravine with steep inclines on both sides. Down the middle it looks like someone haphazardly threw a huge pile of giant jagged boulders. There are gaps between the rocks, around them and under them. On a nice bright sunny day, this traverse would have been difficult and treacherous. But it wasn¢t bright and sunny. It was gloomy and pouring down rain. ¢I don¢t like this mom.¢After 1900 miles of hiking, I think that was the very first time Cole has expressed negative feelings about the trail.We were both nervous as we began making our way through the notch. Cole paused to examine every obstacle to find a way across. I was in front of him and hoped he would just repeat whatever I did, but that just isn¢t Cole.I was getting frustrated with him because he constantly wanted to be on his feet, using his poles for support. I wanted him to put at least one pole away and get his centre of gravity lower. Sit on your bum! Crawl on your knees! We were both upset. I was worried. He was nervous.At one difficult descent I had him lower himself down on his stomach. He couldn¢t see his own feet and that scared him. I could see them though. He was six inches above the next rock but was too frightened to drop down. He just kept saying ¢I can¢t mom! I can¢t mom!¢At another obstacle he needed to move from one rock to another that was higher up. There was a big gap between the two. I was already across and I asked him if he wanted a hand. He said yes. I guess we both had different ideas about what I should be doing to help him. He took my hand and I pulled. He hadn¢t needed me to pull. He began shouting in fear ¢Mom! Mom! Mom!¢ I couldn¢t see his feet on the other side, so I didn¢t realize that I had pulled him from the edge. I just hung on tightly saying ¢I¢ve got you, I¢ve got you.¢I got him up onto to the rock and we both just stood there crying. He was so frightened and I was upset that he was so frightened and feeling sick to my stomach that I had almost made him fall. We couldn¢t even move on for a while. With our lack of movement and the rain pouring down on us we quickly became cold. Even once we started moving again we weren¢t exerting enough energy to warm ourselves up. We were shivering and Cole said that his hands were not working the way they should.We tucked ourselves under a rock out of the rain and I told him to put his fleece on under his rain coat. His fleece was wet because he had been hiking in it when the rain began. ¢Putting on more wet layers doesn¢t warm you up.¢ He argued. Even being cold, tired and frightened he still had the energy to argue.¢Your fleece will keep you warm even if it is wet. Just put it on!¢ He did. I put mine on too, thankful that we had brought them. I told him to get a snack out of his bag too. I think I heard that eating before you go to bed will help warm you at night. Maybe it would help now too. I pulled out my phone and checked Guthooks to see how much further we had to go in the Notch. Mahoosuc Notch was one mile long. We had only come .4 of a mile.It took us over four hours to complete the one mile stretch. We were greatly relieved when we reached the end of it, but our day wasn¢t over. Not by a long shot.We were completely drenched from head to foot as we came out of Mahoosuc Notch and began to climb the Mahoosuc Arm. This is the steepest mile on the AT. It was pretty much a series of almost vertical rock slabs. Some sections were steeper than others, but due to the rain, most of it had been transformed into a fast flowing stream. We didn¢t really even bother trying to avoid the water. Our feet were soaked already. The climb was slow, but there were enough trees and footholds to scale the rocks without worry.We paused at Speck Pond Shelter to eat. I rung out my sox and emptied the water from my shoes as well. Both were pointless endeavours. Then we began another climb up Old Speck. This climb was a steep vertical slab of rock as well, but there was one major factor that made it much more frightening than The Arm. This climb was above tree level and the wind was fierce and strong as it howled around us. ¢Put those poles away! Get low!¢This time he listened. ¢If you¢re frightened or feeling unsteady, just get lower.¢He got lower.We reached a spot where a few trees had miraculously managed to grow and they blocked wind.¢Can we just stop here for a rest?¢ Cole wanted to know. ¢Just for a bit.¢ The day was getting late. Eventually we got back down below tree line. The descent was not nearly as tricky as the climb up had been. We traversed a boggy bald with boardwalk boards that sank an inch below the water and mud, but what did it matter by now.I felt done. Tired. Wet. Cold. Upset over what had happened on the rocks in the notch. Down down we went. The sun came out.A fast flowing stream cascaded down alongside the trail and we passed a woman meditating on a rock in the middle of it.An opening in the trees gave us a window to a view of the mountains that we had probably already, or would be climbing.The AT was smiling at me.Are you kidding me! After all that you put me through today you have the nerve to smile at me?I took out my camera and snapped a photo, one of very few I had taken all day. Mark and Evan were waiting for us at Grafton Notch. Happily I limped to the van and curled under the towel Mark handed me. I really really was ready to be done.