Date: 2006-05-02
To: Why?
Miles today: 0.0

Why? ...is probably the most common question posed by fellow hikers on the trail. Conversations typically go:1. hi2. where you coming from?3. where you going to?4. why did you decide to hike the trail?...names would come much later if at all (there are people that I spent nights with, conversed with for hours, and never exchanged names. It's as if with 3 questions they could define you. Or at least, satisfactorily understand you in that moment, and how you relate to them in that moment.Strangely, that question was not asked much by friends as I prepared to hike. After stating, "I am going to go hiking for a month," I was most commonly greeted with:1. a strange look.2. a smirkand 3. "ummm...okay." Which I did take to mean "why(...are we even friends with you, you tree-hugging, misanthropic, mountain man")?And yet, to my journal readers, i will give at least a perfunctory explanation...or perhaps just an understanding of me in that moment.1. I had a lot of free time. I had been unemployed since March 1, when the Italian restaurant that I had been working at in Weehawken, New Jersey went out of business. Yes...some brilliant corporate minds decided that keeping the restaurant open, in spite of the lack of guests (and even greater lack of profits) was not a wise business decision. These damn fools went the greater part of a decade without using their collective intellect; why'd they have to start once I had become the AGM and put a down payment on an engagement ring?2. I felt the need to do something interesting. Managing a restaurant=not interesting...unless of course, you sleep with your servers, drink with your bartenders, and do coke until 9 a.m. with fellow managers (this is not uncommon in the business. Read "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain for more on that. His stories are the norm, not the exception.)I feel as though I owe it to myself, and to people around me, to go out and create experiences. It lends perspective...it adds depth of character, and it simply makes me more interesting to be around (for myself as well as others). I can sit around and analyze "American Idol" or "Project Runway" with you, but if that and my ability to tell you what a good vintage for Chilean wines is, what the proper amount of time to infuse mangoes is, and what the various laws regarding credit card truncation are, I am mostly worthless to you.3. I am not a big fan of nature...but I am a big fan of places where people are not (and this explains working at a floundering restaurant for the 3 years leading up to this).The fact is that I had been living in Hoboken for 3 1/2 years, within the largest metropolis in the US, where the sound of sirens was as common as the wind (there was a hospital a block away...the projects were 5 blocks away...and something was always on fire somewhere in town), where drunks wander the streets at all hours arguing with each other (and sometimes with themselves), beating up garbage cans, and forgetting that they called for a taxi (causing taxi drivers to test the endurance of their horns at 3 a.m.). I believe that Hoboken has a bizarre ordinance on the books which requires per capita bars to be at about 1 per 20 ppl....and an even more bizarre ordinance that requires the per capita meatheads to be 1 per 2 ppl.The fact that I endured, accepted and adapted to this is a testament to my will...but my mental state was taxed....my interpersonal skills (always weak, at best) were hanging on by a thread.And I thought...perhaps a legal separation from the masses would renew my affection for myself as well as all humanity.4. I enjoy exercising my will, the way that some people enjoy running on a treadmill. Clearly, both are absurd if you view them from afar. Certainly, you would not consider either to be "fun". The fact is though, our modern world is set up in a manner that makes us fat physically, spiritually, and mentally.With minimal effort one can survive life quite comfortably. One can earn a 6 figure salary w/o ever leaving their house. One can eat a steak w/o ever relating it to a dead cow. One can make a friend while sitting alone in a studio apartment in their boxers. One can become president w/o ever having read a book.It takes dedication to find truth...to find what is real, and it often takes removing one's self from the routine of life to better understand it.I can say this with complete clarity, our routines completely obscure and mask truths...it sometimes feels as though it's the reason we develop routines in the first place. This certainly is not bad, thoughtless activity can be an excellent form of escapism (probably less harmful than religion or drugs), but there comes a time to refine your character, face truths, and challenge yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually (because the world is certainly not going to do it for you).