Date: 2003-10-12
From: The Gathering - Hanover, Me.

To: Boston
Miles today: 0.0

YesterdayBill Irwin had invited me to lead the singing at this morning's church service at 8:00. I woke up at 4:45 the first time,then at 8:30 the next time was so disappointed to have missed the service. Nor did I take place in the ATC's version of the polar bear dip. No icy water for me this early in the morning andlate in the year. I fixed us breakfast gain,the thought that it will be awhile before I cook on my little stove again,ever present in my mind. I ran through the lists of lasts. The last time I will sleep in my tent,the last breakfast,the last cup of tea,and on and on.Geeze.... A group of hikers were standing around not far from my tent talking and looking for all the world like little lost sheep. I wandered oer and joined them in saying goodby to T Bird. Her dreads wrapped in colorful ribbons and her eclectic assortment of clothes the only bright thing in sight. Hopeful offered my some orange juice,remarking thaI looke dlike needed some cheering up. There wa! s little to do this morning,so I packed up most of the gear,leaving the tent up hoping it would dry out when the sun finally decided to show it's face. There were some closing statements,along with that ever nessassary business meeting that all organization have to have to operate. It seemed like most other organizations,a few folks doing all the work. Then it was time for the group photo. It was like trying to organize a bunch of earthworms!!It took several attempts before the photographer was satisfied with his shot. The three of us decided to take in a afternoon long seminar called A One Year and 23 Day hike of the At. The ttle sounded intriquing,and also a bit like Mudbutt and my adventure. We were delighted to find the whole seminar was encouraging people to take their time to hike the trail. That it really could be about the smiles and not the miles. It is called Throughly Hiking. And we thought we were slow!!!Once again I felt like someone understood the whys and wherefors that led my partner and I down such a different trail than most of our fellowhikers!! Now this was something I could enjoy. And probably could teach to others!! The trail wanders throgh 14 states,states filled with history and sights,hometown people like any of us. People with jobs and dreams,hearts of gold,troubles and trials. Small town America and all of it't glory. Glory forgotten and pushed aside by interstate highways and fast foods made even faster by the drive thru windows. Historic buildings touting lon! g forgotten architecture and landscapes. Beautiful old trees with even older people sitting under them watching the rest of the world fly by trying to savor as much as possible in as little time as possible. I cannot even begin to recall the peple I met,the tales I have heard,the kindnesses I have been shown while out here. Most of which I would have missed had I been so milage focused. A twenty mile day?? Yep,I did one,and I was lost when I did. Yep,I didn't finish the whole trail,which is what I set out to do. Did I fail? That depends on your perspective and opinion. I even have trouble deciding that. I failed to hike the whole AT in one swoop. But,on the otherhand, I can say that my hike was everythingIwanted it to be and so much more. You see, I didn't know what a thru hike could be or would be.It is different for each person. Oh, I did not know it could be a multi flavored adventure with decorations galore on top of everything else. I did not know I would have to dig s! o deep into myself for answers to questions I had,or do so little to be blessed by so many people. Complete strangers. I am grateful that Mudbutt never got trail legs that would take us miles and miles a day. We would have missed so much. It seems that you don't hear too much about taking the time to smell the roses while you are out here. And I realize that for some it is about the miles. I am convinced that for me it was and always will be about the journey along the way. Moseying here and there,sticking my head in one place or another ,then deciding whether to keep on hiking or to stop for a side trail blazed in blue,but sometimes not blazed at all,but steeped in rich experiences. Then the time for real goodbys started.It seemed everytime I turned around there stood another person I had to say goodby to. more tears,this time from me also.I hugged and cryed first one then another,then back to the same ones over and over again. No one wanted to leave,to be the first to turn and walk away. People always say they will stay in touch,but that is rarely the case. Life goes on and days become years ,and the best intentions of staying in touch get lost in the frantic pace of life. We always mean to stay in touch,but it usually doesn't happen. But no matter, because even if years pass by before we se each other again,the common life that we shared for months together will always be there. That will never change. You cannot divorce it,or leave it behind. The trail will always remain as a bond,even if it is buried in the deep recesses of our minds. It has become you and you have become it to an certain point. And so with great reluctance,I turn and head down th! e steps leaving behind a portion of my heart and my life to these wandering strangers who became like a family to me. The ride into Boston was subdued and sullen.The fact that the Red Soxs are in the playoffs, Coupled with the fact it was a holiday weekend,it took us four trys before we found a motel room. It was a sort night's sleep compounded by the fact that Papermaker was going home alone and was not very happy. I almost caved in and told him the truth but held out. He looked so forlorn when he realized I was going to keep hiking until Thanksgiving.(or so he thought.)You couples know how it is,you sleep side by side,ramrod straight trying to avoid touching each other. Neither one wanting to be the first to give in. Of course ,you cannot get any kind of decent rest. There was no way I could have even begun to tell him how or what I was feeling. I wasn't even sure myself.