Date: 2008-07-11
From: Cloud Pond Leanto

To: Monson
Miles today: 7.2
Weather: clear sky

I was up really early, around 4am. For days I had been wanting to catch my buddies, but now I knew that I would never be able to keep up with them. So I would be hiking alone. Not a problem usually... But Maine's boulders really do scare me. The idea that I could slip and fall and not be found for days has made me more than nervous. I was packed and walking by 5am. I hoped to catch my buddies down at the next shelter and tell them my time had come. Hopefully I'd do the four miles before they left. The trail to the shelter was shorter in the morning, funny. The first mile on the AT was nice, too, what the AT should be, a foot path. Then came the Barren Ledges, nice rocky outlooks, luv 'em! Nice! But then came the Barren Slide... an endless downhill rock slide. Never knowing if a step was safe, tippy toeing down a mountain of rock, sometimes holding on to a tree or rock, sometimes sliding down on my rear. Fear of falling, again and again...Why did they make it this way? I knew now that my thoughts of getting off were right. So I continued my way down. It was 9am when I saw the leanto, empty. Four hours for four miles. I would have to ford the river alone.Nice walk along the river, teasing as I watched the white water tumble over the rocks. I took off my shoes, tied them and put them over my shoulders. I put my crocs on and loosened my pack straps. Holding my poles, I tippy toed across the river carefully. The water was only about knee deep, but cold and moving fast, and I made it.   I sat on the other side, put my shoes back on and climbed up to the road on the other side. To the right, the AT followed the road for about 100 yds, to the left, the tote road would take me down toward Monson. I teared up and turned left.The tote road was actually 1.6 miles of huge muddy water pools. About an hour later I reached the logging road that led to Monson. I turned right and headed up the hill past a pile of junked cars. For several miles, I just walked. The map said it was 11 miles to Monson. I could do that in about five hours if no one came by. About an hour later a huge logging truck drove up behind me and I flagged him down. "I'll pay for a ride to town", I was in tears. "Catch the pickup behind me" was his answer. I did.The loggers were used to hikers they said. The older one said that the AT used to go along this very road. "It used to be fine on private land, but they stole the land from folks to make it government"... He was not pleased with what the AT had become. I'm not sure that I don't agree with him. They refused any payment for the ride and dropped me off at Shaw's boarding house. My hike was officially over.The bunkroom was already full, so I took a private room. It is a nice room with an old fashioned bed made up with pillows and a bedspread. It even has a tv. I picked up a change of clothes provided for hikers, took a shower, and washed everything I owned. This is normal hiker behavior for town. But this was different.. this would be my last trail town.First I saw No Car. "I'm done" I explained and broke into tears again. "I just don't have anything left in me"...It would be repeated many times as I saw different hikers, each time I saw another friend. All knew that I should be further back and they were surprised to see me. So over and over, I told my story of my decision and my blue blaze to town.Next came normal town stuff: PO, BBQ... About 4pm, I headed down to the Lakeshore House. Pub opens and everyone would be coming in for dinner. The Austin trio arrived first, then Patrick and Jeff, then a trio of NOBOS. It was all you can eat fish fry night and the place began to fill up fast. Slot Machine, No Car, Five Stones, and Stretch arrived soon. After dinner and a couple of ice teas, I headed back to Shaws. I went to my room and called my husband. I needed to make plans on how to get home.Some friends from Texas were vacationing in Maine. They had planned on trying to catch me in Monson to say hi. They could give me a ride to Bango. There I would figure out whether to take the bus, plane, or a train from Portland. Right now I was too emotionally spent to make a decision. I cried myself to sleep. How could it be over so soon. I felt like such an old fool.