Date: 2005-09-03
From: Katahdin Stream Campground

To: Katahdin Summit
Miles today: 5.2
Weather: clear sky

The rangers told us that because it is Labor Day Weekend, the busiest one of the year and there are only a very small number of vehicles allowed per trailhead, that we should be in line at the gate no later than 5 AM if we want to be guaranteed to get into the park. SO we all drug otu tired bodies out of bed at 3:30 AM and were in line at the park entrance at 4:30 AM. There were even four or five cars in front of us! The line did get longer and longer as we approached the gate opening time.        The stars were still fully out and it was a clear beautiful sky. Gravity and Gunther even saw a shooting star streak across the pre-dawn sky.        We wewre in the park at the trailhead by 6. Gunther and Ma had packed a special treat for us knowing it is my favorite so we all enjoyed Lox with bagels and cream cheese for breakfast before we headed up the mountain.        It was 7 or so when we headed off towards our summit. We were the only thru-hikers around. The morning seemed promising, but the summit looked to be in a cloud. We'd hoped it would burn off by the time we got there.        The trail soon got quite steep and before I knew it, we were face to face and surrounded by huge rock boulders. We had to figure out how to maneuver up and over. It got quite scrambly actually and our pace slowed significantly. As the trail got more difficult so did we also find ourselves in the cloud. The wind really started whipping too, and I was not only surprised to find myself wet and cold, but more so surprised that I cared. It felt like a long time before we reached Thoreau Spring. There was still a lot of water up on the Table Lands and keeping the feet dry was neigh impossible. It felt good to get up to the Table Lands. The climb to that point was quite difficult and strenous which also surprised me. The wind was really whipping across that high open rocky flat and we really had to lean into it.        Soon the incline steepened and we knew we were almost there. The fog was so thick and teh wind blowing so hard that it was impossible to tell where the top was. Every large rock cairn we saw in the distance would send shivers down our spines in anticipation. Then we'd gain the pile and see that it was just A cairn and not THE cairn. On and up we pushed, our hearts alternately rising and sinking with each large cairn we spotted in the distance, then reached only to see several more cairns off ahead. It felt like forever before we came over a rise and way off in the distances I could unmistakenly make out that unnatural, geometric shape that I have imblazoned on my psyche. Yes, Yes, there was no trick of the eye this time. That was THE sign. That was it. That was the TOP. The END.        It is hard to describe what I felt when I first caught the initial glimps of the sign. It wasn't what I would classify as happy or excited though.        There were three teenage boys just in front of us who got there before us. Other than the five of us, there was no one else up there when we reached the summit. The boys took a bunch of pictures of us with the sign. It all just felt so bizare though. I thought that I would feel happy, ecstatic. But what I felt was on one side freedom, but on the other side - loss. Of being lost. Where do I go now? What do I do now? What will be my purpose. What path will I follow now? Where will it lead? THe AT is clear, defined. Every morning I woke up and knew I was going to walk towards Katahdin. Now that I've gotten there I'm not quite sure where to go.        It was sort of an ironic and funny one last "gotcha" from the trail that even when you get to the top, you're not quite down. You still have to go back down the mountain! We were done, so why are we still following white blazes?? Pretty funny.        Ma was walking up the trail to meet us when we were almost down. She hugged us and congradulated us. It felt as though I was watching it all on a movie screen. Disconnected, numb even. Now I know why everyone yesterday had those blank looks on their faces.        It is such an enormous undertaking it is difficult to comprehend what we'd done and what it meant to be finished. I am sure it will sink in with time. Now though, we have to think about getting back to our other lives and all of the new adventures that await. I don't know that there will ever be another so grand and epic. This has truly been a once in a lifetime experience.