Date: 2017-06-01
From: Waynesboro, VA

To: Waynesboro, VA
Miles today: 0.0

So far Waynesboro has been my absolute favorite trail town.  The people here are just so amazing and so helpful.  I am fovever grateful to the people have that have been so kind.  I had a blueberry waffle for breakfast and then sat outside my room updating journals while I wanted for my socks and dehydrated spinach to arrive at the post office.   I am feeling much better physically but am still struggling otherwise.  I am so nervous about switching back to the tent escpecially after seeing a photo of a tent shredded by a bear in the Shenandoahs.  I know my fears are a slight bit over the top but I am just that kind of person.  I am trying my best to overcome that though.  I also spent some time trying to figure out resupplies for the next few towns.   I keep hearing that you don't have to carry as much food though SNP but I also don't want to be spending a lot of money at the waysides.  I am heading out with 5 days of food and can hopefully make it to Luray only picking up a few items at the waysides.   I packed up my hammock stuff and made a trip down to the Post Office.  The box with the hammock and other items weighed 7.5 pounds.   So hopefully, my pack will be 1.5 pounds lighter.  My feet are definitely less much much better. The redness is pretty much gone and I am hopeful they will not be as painful. I have several new pairs of socks to try and a few other things to try.   I guess tomorrow, we will see.  I have also decided in Luray, I will try to save money by mailing myself food instead of buying it at the small stores.   My staples are oatmeal, peanut butter, tortillas, and mashed potatoes.  At the small stores, they tend to be twice as expensive.  I will try that for a while to see if it ends up helping.   Currently, I am sitting outside in a patch of grass by my hotel room.   I know I could be laying in the bed in the room but I am enjoying the sun.  I am hoping the sun will help with the depression and fear of failure.  I know I am asking a lot of the big ball of fire but I definitely need a boost.  On days that I am walking I have an end goal and I know that regardless of walking one mile or 13 miles, I am making progress.   On these two zero days, the lack of forward motion has left me feeling as if I have accomplished nothing.  I logically know the zero days were needed for my physical health, but balancing the physical with the mental is frustrating.   I have always read and heard that if you aren't having fun and aren't enjoying yourself to "go home". I think that may apply to some or maybe even most but for me, this journey is more about overcoming fears, learning not to escape back to my hole when I am not in a good place.   The majority of my being right now wants to find my way back to Atlanta, crawl into my truck and just hide away staring at the reflectix covering the windows.   The reality is that is probably the most unhealthy thing to do.  Depression and anxiety have ruled my entire life.  I have had moments where I felt like I accomplished something important, helped someone or something in desperate need.   I made a positive difference in the lives of others.  The focus of this journey for me is to make a positive difference in my life.   Whether this depression and anxiety sucking the life out of me is the "Virginia Blues" or just the "old" me trying to take over, I will keep walking North until my body gives out.  I have seen things on this journey I never thought I would see.  I have experienced moments of clarity when focusing on the tiny things many people never notice.  I have glimpsed the world floating in a rain drop dangling from a leaf and experienced my life being turned upside down.  I have been encouraged seeing the clouds swept away by the winds to reveal a bright blue sky full of warmth.  I will keep walking until my clouds are pushed away to reveal the answers I am hoping will become apparent.  **Photos/Videos on Facebook -- Mickie Blair (Dicey Willow).