Date: 2005-08-08
From: Katahdin Stream Campground (The Birches)

To: Baxter Peak (Millinocket)
Miles today: 5.2
Weather: light rain

start: Katahdin Stream Campground (The Birches)finish: Baxter Peak (Millinocket) (motel)miles: 5.2day: 154It may have been partly the Pepsi I drank last night, but I couldn't get to sleep. I guess it's Katahdin day looming. Between that, the hard shelter floor, and the few mosquitoes that came out around dawn, I only got about 4 hours of sleep. Ugh.Whitee headed up the mountain very early, not wanting "any flatfoot day hiker" to beat the thru-hikers up there. Good on ya, Whitee.Biscuit headed up pretty early with her family, and we caught her half way up.Before hiking we went over to Mr. and Mrs. Chairman's site to eat some cereal for breakfast, then Chairman, English Bob, Goldilocks and I headed up, signing in at 7:49 am.The first mile or so was very easy, then it started tilting up a bit more and getting rockier as we passed Katahdin Stream Falls. By the time we reached treeline it was very steep, with the trail visible way above following the rocky spine of Hunt Spur, but in places it was like a vertical Mahoosuc Notch - a puzzle of large rocks - so there was no sense of a hard climb as we had to slow down to navigate the difficult rocks.Finally we reached the Tableland - a flat section well above treeline. We had met up with Biscuit by then and it was here that we met Whitee on his way back down. Biscuit gave him a small bottle of champagne and we took a group picture. Whitee plans to hitch out of Baxter today so we said our goodbyes as we won't see him again on this trip.We continued on, pausing to get some water at Thoreau Spring, which was running a little. Then over and up across the vast plateau of rocks toward the final summit climb.I got behind the rest of the crew when I filled my water bottle at the spring, so when the summit plaque first came into view in the distance, I was alone. It was pulling me onward, to the finish, the end of work, the ultimate achievement, to my own destruction. Such a bittersweet thing this finish, and the sign looming, as imposing, and as mysteriously powerful as Arthur C. Clarke's black monolith or Stephen King's Dark Tower.There were lots of dayhikers on top, perhaps 50 or more. I threaded my way between them, to the top, to where the other thru-hikers had gathered near the sign. I had been spontaneously sobbing during the final climb and thought I had it "under control", but as I leaned over and touched the wooden plaque it all flooded out. I felt no sense of accomplishment at all. Just loss. The final white blaze was painted on a rock under the sign, and I touched that too, for good measure, and as if to try to comprehend that it was the last - there were no more. Once my breathing calmed down a bit and I could think clearly, there was one, and only one, obvious course of action. Go back, go south. In fact, go wherever necessary as long the path remained blazed with white. No more blazes ahead, turn around, look back, lots of blazes there. No brainer. I had been torn before, anticipating the end of the hike in a way. Feeling tired, missing home. I have responsibilities to my family, and so cannot hike any more right now. And that's good. OK. Or at least it will be OK with a little time. But at this moment a southbound yoyo, immediately, starting right now, was the ONLY thing that made any sense at all. Perhaps if I had listened at the plaque more closely I could have heard quiet, knowing laughter.Biscuit handed out little bottles of champagne - thanks to her dad! - and we toasted and drank. I think we were all feeling stressed and strange. We looked like combat vets must feel - a few of us outnumbered among way too many "normal" people, and no way to describe what we've been through.We ate all the food in our packs (and drank all the root beer!), I deposited the two small stones I had carried here from Springer deep in a crack under the sign, and eventually were ready to take our summit pictures. We took a group photo first, but then, when Biscuit was posing for her solo shots, we noticed that all the people that had gathered to eat lunch right behind the sign were in the pictures. They were oblivious to what we were doing, or else didn't care. We were trying to work around it, but then I said to myself "bullshit." I really was very nice about it. I explained what we were doing, and why, and that we'd really appreciate it if the people could move out of the shots. There was grumbling, comments of "you've got to be kidding" and the like, but a few people moved, for a moment or two, then came right back. We tried to work around it some more, and the next time I wasn't as nice. I tried to be, explaining that they were still in the way of the photos! , and that this was a really bad place to sit, and they countered with "why don't you move the sign?". People can be so rude - can I just go back in the woods? They never did really get out of the way, although they sure FELT in the way when Goldilocks stripped down for his NUDE photo! I could tell he was feeling the pain of the end, as he was uncharacteristically quiet, but he sure shot some stylish poses.Leaving is hard. We all quietly prepared to leave the summit, no one really wanting to go. English Bob sadly noted there were no more entries in the data book to guide us. As we walked away I turned and looked back at the solid, never changing summit sign, and all I could think was that I couldn't wait to return - as part of a thru-hike of course.Somehow I got in the lead and went down Hunt Spur pretty quickly, using my poles a lot. Occasionally I'd just start crying (again). It felt good to just let it flow over me. It was a very tough descent, but I hardly noticed it.When I got to Katahdin Stream I went for a wade. I wanted to get in all the way, but this was really cold water and I was cramping up just sitting in a pool. So I was out before too long, walking the last easy mile to the campground. When I got within sight of the parking area I saw Mr. and Mrs. Chairman, Tomcat, Colonel Forbin and Cap'n Crunch waiting there. Mr. Chairman was video taping and the others were clapping. For me. Wow. It was humbling to have these great people clapping for me.I was about to go looking for Mrs. Moosie when she appeared behind me. It sure was good to see her. We invited everyone over to our lean-to that we had reserved for the night. We got hotdogs grilling and drank sodas and ate some chips, brownies and salads that Mrs. Moosie had made and brought up from CT with her. We were still waiting for Goldilocks, Chairman, English Bob and Biscuit to come off the mountain, so we were trying to hold back on devouring ALL the food... But Mrs. Moosie had brought lots.Hikers came in spaced well apart, Goldilocks last. I think no onereally wanted to be done. Mr. and Mrs. Biscuit (Biscuit's parents)summitted with her and came back down pretty wiped out. That's abeast of a climb for a weekend-type hiker. They were able to revivewith feet in the cold stream and some soda. Hah, sounds like theyknow how to thru-hike! After we devoured all the food and told allour stories the party started to break up, with the Chairmans leavingfirst, then the Biscuits, taking the newest member of their family,English Bob, with them. We decided to give our lean-to to tomorrow'ssummitters and head for a motel. Mrs. Moosie had brought everythingshe needed to camp out with us, but we mostly stay in motels, ya know?I spoke to the ranger to let him know that Tomcat, Colonel, and Cap'nwould be in our lean-to and were already paid for - he said that wouldbe fine. They're very accommodating folks in Baxter. When I got backto camp I found a bunch of Sam Adams that Andy and Biscuit had leftfor us from the night before. Before we left Tomcat and the otherguys had them all chilling in the stream, along with a 6-pack ofCoors. We gave them lots of various leftover food. It was shaping upto be a pretty good evening for them! We said our last goodbyes and headed for the motel. It's a long driveover bad roads, and when we were most of the way out of the park Irealized I had left my Katahdin rock behind. That really hurt. Itwas a nice hand-sized chunk of beautiful pink rock for a souvenir.When I was hunting for a perfect rock everyone joked I was looking forcheeseburgers up on the mountain. I left the rock in the lean-to andforgot to put it back in my pack before putting the pack in the car.I did also take one tiny pebble, so that'll have to do. Or maybe Ican chip a chunk off Goldilocks' rock .Reflecting on the day in the motel, I'm still feeling sad and dazed.I'm sure this will fade with time, but that seems like a lame cure. Iwas really fortunate to have the support I did from my wife and to beable to hike with my son and all the other great folks I met on thetrail.