Date: 2005-12-08
To: Life these days...
Miles today: 0.0

The trail follows me into my life in a very positive way. I haven¢t abandoned it totally either. My time spent at The Cabin in Maine with Earl and Marjorie Towne proved to be very important. It was a transition time and they were the right people to be around. During this time I received a call from a friend back in Oberlin, Ohio where I went to college. He told me that the youth program coordinator position had opened at the non-profit where he works called Common Ground and encouraged me to send a resume and cover letter. I did, knowing that there would be many people with a lot more experience than me. I had a phone interview with the director of the organization and I felt a connection with him. Still realizing that I probably would not get the job I left The Cabin and flew to Ohio. I stayed with friends for several weeks while I waited to hear about the job, first to learn if I were to even receive a second interview and then waiting to hear if I would get it. I thought that there was only a small possibility I would get it and so I was going to be all of who I am and show up authentically in the interview. I did this and the director, after struggling with the decision for weeks, chose me over several older, more experienced and educated candidates. When the director hired me he said that the job was about growing into who I am. I¢ve been working at Common Ground for two months and I feel blessed to be here. I¢m getting the chance to develop character-building programs for a diverse population of kids from juvenile delinquents to vocational students. I facilitate the programs directly at times and also have a behind-the-scenes role. I¢m also the director of a summer camp. It¢s really all I could have asked for. In many ways the AT opened me up for doing my life¢s work, helped me see who I am, let go of some of my anger... I¢m much more cool with myself these days.It is hard being indoors so much of the time these days. It¢s hard to believe that for most of this year I was walking all the time, outdoors all the time, living a totally nomadic lifestyle. Now I bought a car, live in a house with other people, go to work every day, and live a ¢normal¢ life. Nobody would guess I was an AT thru-hiker, I don¢t look like one I¢ve been told. In a way this part of my life is gone forever and I feel nostalgic for it. I am so glad I went. I was visiting a friend for Thanksgiving in Washington, DC and we drove to Harpers Ferry for the day. We walked a short section of the AT, the stretch that ascends from the river and parallels the town. It was such a short time ago that I was here on foot but in a way it feels like a lot longer. I met (can you believe it?!) a SOBO thru-hiker at the outfitters. His trailname is Beamus and he believes he is the last thru-hiker of the year. He seemed in good spirits but I cannot imagine the cold. He doesn¢t think he¢ll make it past the Smokes, but who knows? He might.I feel in my life now a sense that whatever happens I can do it. This is how the trail changed me. However miserable or hard life is I can do it. I believe in myself today. I also laugh at myself these days, how much energy I had once put in my life believing I¢m not enough. I remember back in Florida after walking my first 500 miles how there were these people I met in the Ocala National Forest. When I told them that after the FT I was planning on thru-hiking the AT also they basically laughed at me, inferring that there was no way a fat guy like me could do something like this, walking up and down all the mountains. They¢d been on a section in Virginia and the Florida Trail was ¢nothing compared to the AT.¢ I did the AT in less than four months. I believed too many people who gave me these messages in my life. I started the trail weighing almost 260 pounds. I weighed 170 pounds at the finish. When I finished lots of people told me there was no way I would keep the weight off. I¢ve changed my eating habits and my relationship to my body and I know that¢s not true. I haven¢t gained a pound. I feel healthier today than when I was on the trail. Now I know. I¢m not who people thought I was. And it is good. So the moral of the story is: Don¢t believe what they tell you. Believe in yourself. Because you know.A week or so ago I celebrated my 25th birthday the same day I celebrated three months off the trail (November 27th). When I look back at my 25 years this has been the best one. Thanks for following along on my adventures. It has truly been a wonderful adventure.