Date: 2013-02-23
To: Black River Trail
Miles today: 0.0

Black River Trail Take 2It was an overcast semi-rainy day in Watertown. The kind of day that takes a bit more ¢umph¢ to get outside and get the body moving. I looked out of the window several times, convinced that I would never muster the necessary amount of motivation needed to actually accomplish outdoor physical activity. Instead, I organized my pack, making a list of the few bits and pieces that I need to amass- mainly the first aid kit and sew/gear repair kit I mentioned in a previous post. I loaded some of the dehydrated food I had prepared and filled the water reservoir, and then I hauled it all upstairs to weight it on the world¢s least reliable scale (the same scale that boldly declared that I had lost a whopping 4 LBS in less than 5 minutes simply by removing my toenail polish). Anywho, today¢s declaration of pack weight was 31 lbs. It was simultaneously comforting because there are still a few more things that I would like to add, and exasperating because it felt a helluva lot heavier than 31 lbs. Either way, I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to give it a test run. A few minutes later, I found myself at the Black River Trailhead, snowshoes in hand, ready to test the legs. I was curious to see how much progress I¢ve made since my first Black River snowshoe/backpacking attempt. The trail conditions were almost identical, but even under those conditions, this time I moved along at a quicker clip. At the hour and a half mark I was 3 miles into the trail, standing atop the frozen cascades of the Black River, my favorite yoga spot. The water level was higher than the last time I had been there, and the rapids were more pronounced. I stood there for a few minutes, trying to absorb the moment, imprint it on my brain, wondering if I would ever see this place under these conditions ever again. The military life is a transient one, and if you find a place that really speaks to you, you have to savor it because it¢s only a matter of time before currents of life move you along.Dark was setting in, so I headed back the way I came. I¢m not a big fan of out-and-back hikes, and this one is no different. My mood started to shift, and I found myself growing more and more annoyed. Annoyed at the crappy trail conditions, annoyed that I hadn¢t brought anything to snack on (ironically I had 14 dehydrated meals in my pack, an alcohol stove, and matches, but not a drop of fuel), annoyed that I wasn¢t enjoying myself. There¢s a scene in the Hobbit where Bilbo has an epiphany and realizes ¢not all adventures are pony rides in May sunshine.¢ There was a lesson to be learned here. I have no doubt that there will be moments (hours/days/weeks?) in the upcoming months that fall far short of joyous ¢pony rides in May sunshine,¢ and perhaps this experience is part of a grand psychological preparation plan that the universe has in store for me. As my stomach starting growling I began fantasizing about quattro formaggi pizza. There¢s a great Italian place in the next town over that makes THE best quattro formaggi pizzas, and I knew that¢s where I would head as soon as I got back to the car. The last two miles dragged on and on. I took off the snowshoes to see if I could move faster in only my hiking boots, which I did, but then I had two big, wet slushy snowshoes that I had to drag along side me. Annoyance. It was getting darker and darker. Annoyance. My ankles and feet were starting to hurt. Annoyance. ¢Will this trail ever end!?!?!¢ kept looping through my brain. Annoyance. Cravings for pizza. Aversions to the present conditions. Annoyance. Annoyance. I¢ve spent a bit of time practicing Vipassana meditation, and so I tried to apply some of those practices. Observe my breath, drawing my awareness to the sensations I was experiencing without judging them, staying in the present moment, trying to remain ¢equanimous¢ and detach myself from my cravings and aversions. Trying to appreciate where I was on that hike at that moment rather than long to be done with it. Did I accomplish these things? Sort of? Not really? But I recognized that though I didn¢t particularly enjoy this hike, it was as profound of an experience as any hike that I did enjoy. Because it was. Not all adventures are pony rides in May sunshine, but adventures they are.Finally, I put the snowshoes back on and eventually made it back to the car. I made a beeline for the restaurant, plopped myself down at the bar, and ordered a quattro formaggi pizza and a lovely glass of pinot grigio. Two sips in, the guy sitting next to me strikes up a conversation. We chatted for a few minutes, and then he asks me, ¢Have you ever heard of Vipassana meditation?¢   Gaylen, if you are reading this, you made my night.