Date: 2019-04-22
From: Davenport Gap/Hot Springs

To: Standing Bear Farm
Miles today: 2.7
Weather: overcast clouds

Ugh. A toxic end to my day today. Will write about that later. This morning I woke up tired. I really don¢t know if I should go back to coffee. I stopped having it actually because I got my wisdom teeth out in January and they recommend no caffeine while taking the drugs. I just never went back. I¢ve always had issues with withdrawal on the weekends because I sleep later and wake up with a headache, craving that caffeine. I was happy with the results after I stopped having it, but I feel like I need it sometimes. Anyway, I got up and texted Prometheus. I went down to have breakfast. It was biscuits and gravy. I was being picky and didn¢t want the gravy. I had eggs and the biscuits and yogurt and granola and orange juice. I went back upstairs and turned on the jets in my bath. I put my feet in and put my ankle against the jets. It definitely helped soothe it. I took another shower because why not! I heaped everything together so I could get out by checkout and set it up in the sitting room downstairs. I left some of the food for when I pass through the town again (they were very nice and let me leave my box there) and packed up the rest. I walked down to meet Prometheus and Hot Sauce. We met up at Bluff Mountain Outfitters. Unfortunately, Hot Sauce was not feeling well and got whatever Prometheus had. At this point I think we all knew it was norovirus and not food poisoning. For those who don¢t know, norovirus has been rampant on the trail recently. You hear all sorts of random stats, but apparently 50% of the ¢hiker bubble¢ got it. I was happy to have stayed in my own hotel room, far from the sick hikers.We hung out for a bit and decided it would be a low mileage day. We were looking at shuttles to take us to Davenport Gap and found one that could take us to Standing Bear Farm, which is 3 miles or so from the Gap. We decided to do that. It was an hour and a half before they arrived, so we used that time to shop and weigh our packs. I wanted hand sanitizer. I¢ve mainly been using wipes, which definitely make me feel clean, but hand sanitizer is good too. I also needed a Gatorade bottle for my bottle of wine. I guess alcohol can degrade plastic, so a thicker plastic is needed. I got one of the big gatorades and slowly worked through it. I realized I didn¢t have a corkscrew for my wine and should¢ve asked my hotel to open it for me. I was frustrated at that silly mistake. I bought a super cheap one at Dollar General and opened it that way. I had asked the restaurants in town to help me, but they all said it was illegal to open wine that wasn¢t sold there and whatnot. Anyway, I figured it out and poured it into the Gatorade bottle. It actually didn¢t even fill up the bottle. Big Gatorade! Now came some upsetting news. I weighed my pack. Bluff Mountain Outfitters has a scale just for packs. Hot Sauce wanted to see how her shakedown had played out. I was eager to see too. It was so disappointing. My pack weighed 45 pounds. That¢s just way too much weight. Now keep in mind, the wine I just added was probably a pound, and the sleeping pad I asked my mom for was a full pound and a half heavier than my last one. I also just added food. My pack itself weighs 4.4 pounds. It¢s a heavy pack. A lot of people try to ultralight the trail, and I respect them, but comfort is also important to me. I was happy when my pack was 34, and I knew it would gain weight, but sheesh. We were all pretty disappointed given the shakedown. We discussed another shakedown and prepared for the shuttle. It arrived and we got in. The lady driving had a doggie ahhh and we listened to classic rock with the windows open. My hair got all messy, but it was nice. Standing Bear Farm is an interesting place. I had considered staying here at some point and abandoned that thought because it¢s not too far from Hot Springs and that¢s where I¢d meet my parents. Well, I ended up staying here! Overall thoughts about the place are money-related ugh I know I think too much about that. But seriously, everything they do is an ¢add-on¢ and I dislike that kind of process. It was $15 just to set up my tent on their grass. I could¢ve set my tent up for free five feet away. And then dinner was $10 and breakfast was $5. And then laundry was extra and showers were extra and resupply was extra. It¢s like one of those scam commercials! Only $15, (*plus shipping and handling and a fee every year for the rest of your life*) get it now! Anyway, they just seemed money hungry rather than catering to the hikers and their needs and I didn¢t like that. The owners were smoking weed and it just didn¢t have the warm vibe of a hostel. But it was an interesting place regardless. We found out that last weekend, when we were in Hot Springs, norovirus had spread here as well and everyone was taking zeros to recover. It was also 4/20 so apparently there was a massive weed party. Hot Sauce seemed reluctant to stay here because of money too, since we all just stayed in Hot Springs, but we agreed it was the best option and it was late in the day. And they offered slackpacking, for a fee of course! They drove us to Davenport Gap and we hiked with no packs back to the farm. So we got in the 3 miles and got a place to stay. Slackpacking was amazing. Having no weight on my back ahh it was like flying. Prometheus and Hot Sauce actually started to run and I joined in and it felt so good. I haven¢t run in so long. We ran and then walked a bit. It was so awesome without weight. It was a pretty hot day though, so we found ourselves dehydrated despite the short distance. We ate dinner. The options were chicken or burgers. I chose chicken, but it was a dark purple color underneath and I was grossed out. I¢m picky, I know. I actually really don¢t like meat with bones in it, and if I can see veins in meat I¢m equally grossed out. I tend to like my meat well done because I don¢t like the red, but when I¢ve allowed myself to try meat that¢s red, I¢ve always enjoyed the flavor. Just have to get past that initial look. The life of a picky eater folks. I promise I¢m miles ahead of where I was as a kid. Prometheus made a fire, but the wood was a bit wet, so it was not burning well. The owners and staff gathered around, as well as some hikers, and everyone was smoking weed. I was snacking on my food and candy. The toxicity came then. I opened my phone since there was WiFi and got snapchats from the girl I mentioned earlier (the tough college friendship) and they were in a group chat, with her claiming she never dyed her hair and that the sun just bleached it blond, so should she dye it back to brown because it looks like she dyed it and omg isn¢t that terrible and she has no experience dyeing it so could we all help. Part of the reason I ended that friendship is because she just lied all the time. She was so insecure she had to make things up and use me to make herself feel good. And here we are months later and she¢s still doing it. Oh hey! My hair just naturally went 3 shades lighter in the sun, so cool! Didn¢t know I could naturally go blond! *eye roll* If you¢re wondering why I¢m still connected to her, I¢ll answer that. We had the same friends and group chats at school, and her sister is my grand-little, so it¢s tricky. I also don¢t like to cut people out. Especially in this day in age with social media the way it is, we can¢t go back on our decision to cut people out. I¢m a pretty forgiving person and have thought of giving her another chance several times, but then she sends a series of snaps like that and I never want to associate with her again. I¢ve been very reflective on my mistakes and I know I¢ve made a ton, but I¢m actually implementing change, because that¢s the point. She went to therapy at school and said ¢50% of my problems are from my grandma¢ and then never did anything to change. First of all, no therapist ever gives you percentages. But yes, part of therapy is to identify what part of your environment may have contributed to the person you are and the the mistakes you¢ve made, but part of therapy is also admitting to those mistakes and learning how to stop making them. I was very humbled by the whole experience. And I had a big dip in confidence when my breakup happened. But I have slowly built that back up. I am trying to be a person that I can be proud of. The real me. I don¢t want to live under an image just to feed off of others. And I know that controlling people often send pics like these to get a rise out and that rise makes them feel better. It did get a rise out of me even though I didn¢t respond to the snaps. I was angry. It made my blood boil. I rarely get that mad these days. I stayed calm by the fire, but I was furious inside. Prometheus and Hot Sauce and I talked a bit about it because it was bothering me. I wanted to blast to the world that this lying, controlling, mean girl is not who she shows the world she is and that everyone who ditched me for the lies she told is wrong, but I obviously knew that would do nothing. Sometimes we can do nothing. Sometimes people just take the easiest path. Why do bullies have cliques? People just join the power sometimes. I¢m taking the hard path and sometimes feel powerless, but I know it will benefit me in the end. I know I will be the person I want to be. I¢m already forming connections and friendships so easily and I feel so good about myself. I¢ve had incredibly hard days and moments on this trip, but I have stayed calm and acted rationally and I¢m proud of myself for that. One day at a time. I¢m sorry to vent about her like this. I really dislike talking about others like this. But it was a very tough friendship and essentially ruined my senior spring of college. I am still very bitter, despite the amends I made with the other friends in that group. One day at a time. We all went to bed. Prometheus and Hot Sauce were sharing a tent to save money. I was in my tent next to them. It was the first night with my new sleeping pad. I moved around a lot to get comfortable and break it in, but I was liking it much more than my last one. Song of the day: ¢Man I feel like a woman¢ by Shania Twain. Hot Sauce played it during the small hike and it was such a throwback. Also update: I just wanted to say two things. I know that it takes me a few days to update these days. I think it¢s because I¢m enjoying myself out on trail and putting my focus there, but I am also updating this from a place of weak WiFi in Hot Springs, so sometimes when I¢m in town, it still isn¢t great for posting. If I were to quit this trip, I would post something small to let you all know. But absence these days just means I¢m out enjoying the trail and will update as soon as I can! I know it¢s a bunch of entries at once this way, but it¢s what¢s working for me right now. Other thing, I don¢t publicize my blog on social media and I just wanted to say that I don¢t because it has some personal stuff in it and my own insecurities with the people I¢m friends with on my social media and the people I may have mentioned here (like college friend) make it tough. I also mention a lot about drinking or weed or inappropriate trail names or bathroom stuff so I just want people to be fully prepared for my honest and open blog about my life on the trail and I know a fair amount of adults follow me! One more thing: I check my mileage based on AWOL, but I¢ve heard different things from folks with the Guthook app. I¢m not sure what¢s actually accurate. Back in the early days I thought I did a 15 because my health app said I had and folks with Guthook said it was a 15, but it only ended up being 13.8 in AWOL. So I have no idea what¢s right. But that is how I check my mileage and go along the trail. Works well enough for me right now! Little Debbie