Date: 2017-11-22
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Have you ever pondered our place in the world as Homo sapiens? The psalmist has us created a little lower than the angels, and some would read Genesis as placing humans a bit higher than the animals. If you are ever tempted to think of yourself as angelic, try pooping in the woods. The experience of squatting over a small hole you¢ve dug and depositing your waste will leave you humbled, never again to doubt your true nature.  Twenty-five years ago, the Appalachian Trail shelters in Great Smoky Mountains National Park had not been renovated and did not have the nice moldering privies they do now. The stone shelters originally built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in the 1930¢s were dark and dank, with fencing across the front. At night you would lock yourself and your food inside to protect against bears, who would occasionally come and look in at the safely caged humans.  On a very foggy morning in April 1995, I let myself out of the cage, found a nice hillside, dug a cathole with my trusty orange plastic spade, and squatted. A herd of white-tailed deer came along, dividing around me, all the while softly bleating, ¢Look at this one; have you ever seen anything more ridiculous?¢ In a posture like that, it is easy to say with St. Paul, ¢O wretched man that I am.¢ My beastly nature was quite on display.Being a beast, however, is no excuse to act like one. Human urine in the absence of a urinary track infection is relatively free of bacteria and unlikely to cause infection in other persons, so very little care is needed. Human feces, on the other hand, is chockfull of pathogens. Bacteria can include Vibrio cholerae (cholera), Clostridium difficile (enterocolitis), Shigella (dysentery), and Salmonella typhii (typhoid fever). Viruses can include Hepatitis A an E (hepatitis), and Enteroviruses, Norovirus, and Rotavirus ( all causing gastroenteritis). Protozoans can include Entameba histolytica (amoebiasis), Giardia (giardiasis), Cyrptosporidium (cryptosporidiosis) and Toxopasma gondii (toxoplasmosis). And then there are the Helminths like tape worms and round worms. Don¢t worry; you won¢t be quizzed in the morning, but I hope you will take the issue of backcountry sanitation seriously.  I¢ll start on a lighter note, a light yellow note, by bastardizing Shakespeare: All the world¢s a privy, and all the men and women merely pissers.  On the Appalachian Trail, that¢s just the way it is. For guys in particular, the work-a-day thought, ¢Oh, I need to pee, but I¢ll finish this job first,¢ seldom occurs. There is no waiting for the next Interstate rest area. Whip it out and let ¢er rip. It¢s polite to look around first to check for privacy, but gratification is rarely delayed. Leave-No-Trace protocol dictates peeing 200 feet from water sources, trails, campsites and shelters. In practice, that just doesn¢t happen. At least avoid peeing near water sources and shelters. Spread your urine around and try to avoid plants. Animals, including deer, are attracted to the salt in urine and may defoliate a plant that has been sprayed. In many ways, long-distance hikers regress to the infantile, and that is certainly true with regard to adventure peeing. You can piss at Chattahoochee Gap in Georgia, near the headwater of the Chattahoochee River and take pride in peeing on the city of Atlanta. Or on Loft Mountain in Shenandoah National Park near the headwater of Ivy Creek that waters Charlottesville. The Appalachian Trail straddles the North Carolina-Tennessee boundary through much of the Smokies, so you can stand in one state and pee into the other, the only decision being which state will enjoy your bounty. If you hike the Long Trail in Vermont, you can have the pleasure of pissing across the international border into Canada. Perhaps it is only guys who think like this, or perhaps only me.  There are two primary options for pooping in the woods: privies (outhouses) and catholes (dig and bury). Another option not required (yet) on the Appalachian Trail is pack it out, using blue WAG (Waste Alleviation and Gelling) bags, homemade bags, or poop tubes. The latter is a length of 4¢ diameter PVC pipe capped at one end and plugged at the other. One note of caution if you use a poop tube: Burb it periodically to avoid having your bagged poop become a deadly projectile!I was given a book, How to Die in the Outdoors: 100 Interesting Ways, by Buck Tilton. I lost the book in a fire, but I¢ve never forgotten a most cheerful entry on black widow spiders. The female apparently has a penchant for spinning her web under the toilet seat in privies. The most frequent victims are men whose privates dangle into the web. The good news is that black widow venom will seldom kill a person; they will only wish that it would. Since I am an early riser and frequently the first visitor to the privy in the morning, i¢ve gotten in the habit of taking a short stick in with me, twirling it under the seat and dropping it in. This probably isn¢t necessary since the very thought of this way of death is enough to make nearly any man shrivel, thus averting the problem. Privies come in two primary flavors: pit privies and composting toilets. In both types, BYOTP- bring your own toilet paper. It is only rarely provided. A pit toilet is essentially a deep hole in the ground with a raised seat above it and usually, but not always, a structure of some kind around it for privacy. Close the lid on the seat when you are finished using it. Most privies have a ventilation pipe and closing the lid reduces odor in the privy. The rule for pit toilets is pee in the woods and poop in the privy.Composting and moldering toilets are raised off the ground and poop is deposited into a bin, along with a handful of duff (the partly decomposed leaves from the forest floor), sawdust, or bark. Composting toilets require more maintenance but the decomposition is much more rapid and generally a lot more pleasant for the user. Some moisture is needed for composting; follow any signage, but if in doubt, pee in the woods.Only poop and toilet paper should be deposited in privies. Trash, tampons, and any uneaten food (a rarity among thru-hikers) should be carried out. I assisted in digging out an old pit privy once and it was like an archeological dig, the saddest find being a decapitated baby doll.  If you are regular by nature and frequent the shelters, you may only rarely have to dig a cathole.  Be aware, however, that the Tennessee Eastman Hiking & Canoeing Club, which maintains 133.7 miles in Tennessee between Spivey Gap and the Virginia state line, doesn¢t provide privies at its shelters. I find this to be a scandal and a shame. Is it merely coincidence that this is the section of trail most frequently hit by Norovirus during thru-hiker season? By the way, hand sanitizer is not effective against Norovirus and few hikers wash their hands regularly. You really don¢t want to shake hands with a hiker! Fist or elbow bumps are much safer.It is natural to seek a little privacy for your catholing activity, by going off trail and hiding over a ridgeline or behind a large tree. Hikers have been known to have gotten lost after completing their business. If you are out of sight of the trail, it¢s a good idea to set your hiking stick down in the direction of return travel or even to take a compass bearing before leaving the trail. If you do get lost, at least you will have the solace of having pooped. Some thoughtless hikers avoid this problem by pooping directly onto the trail. There is no mistaking the poop for bear scat, since bears generally don¢t use toilet paper. Please don¢t let this be you.A cathole should be six-to-eight inches deep and 200 feet from water, trail, and campsites. Only poop and white, unscented toilet paper should be deposited. To speed decomposition, add a little liquid (water or pee), add some duff, and stir with a small stick before burying what is sometimes called ¢poop soup.¢ What a horrible thing to be writing on Thanksgiving Eve!Digging a proper cathole is not as easy as it sounds. Many hikers believe that they can kick one out with the heel of their boot or with their hiking pole. Except in sand and loose soils, it can¢t be done. Similarly, the cheap plastic orange spade I used to carry won¢t cut through roots. Invest in a decent tool, like the titanium Big Dig (http://www.qiwiz.net/trowels.html) or the Deuce of Spades (http://www.thetentlab.com/Deuce/DeuceofSpadespage.html).It takes some practice to squat over a small hole, hit your target, and avoid splattering your clothing and shoes. Some find it easier to dig where they can face and grab a tree to take pressure off the quadriceps. Most of the world squats when pooping. It¢s a skill worth developing.Now, aren¢t you sorry you asked this question?