Date: 2008-02-12
To: View Entry
Miles today: 0.0

I was gonna put up a picture of the AT into this entry but it is a very complicated process and I am just not up to it. If you want to see it just go and google it.    You know what? I was reading some journals today and what I saw made me feel stupid. Everyone is so effusive in their journals when they write about how passionate thay are about this thing. Man,people dream about the AT and I guess there are some who salivate when they see pictures. (I didn't want to mention it before, but the REAL reason I didn't load up a picture in this entry is because I'm not sure if any of you are susceptible to drooling like that and I didn't want your keyboards to drown. I have your welfare in mind even if you don't...) Anyway, the reason I mention this is because it made me realize that I am not acting like the typical hiker.    This whole thing was decided with a split second decision. One minute I read an essay about the trail, the next I decided I was going to go for the long haul. So many people spend years thinking about the trail, reading journals, stoking the fires so to say and going hiking. That seems to be the conventional way to do things. I am excited because I will be learning something new and working toward achieving a goal. Sure, this trip wasn't thought through very well when I spontaneously decided to do it, sure I don't know anything more about hiking than that I really enjoy long walks on the beach and sunset strolls(come on people, I live in MN. That was a joke), and third I seriously can't grasp the idea of anything being so hard that people quit 3 days in, but does that mean I have to gush on and on about my excitment? I am enthusiastic about it in a different way I think. More like an anticipation rather than a full-blown excitement. Typically I get really enthusiastic about things and then the idea fizzles out because I exhaust myself with a constant thought process for it. That's why I think this is different, I am not going to wear myself out with the excitment and get tired of the idea before I actually do it. I am quietly stoking the fires.   I am so tired of my life. I feel stagnant and stuck. I think the driving force behind my motivation may not be to walk the trail to completion but my desire to get out of my rut. I need to do something different and unique. I want to be free spirited and have fun. I want to be gone from my 'real life' for a span of time so that I stop hearing an imaginary telephone ring or feeling my phone go off with my newest text message. I need out, and this may be the step I need to be able to come back home and confidently walk into a new state of my life. I am not looking to be saved out there, or to find God, or to discover my purpose in life; guess I am just looking for new perspective and a different gang of people to spend time with. Who knows what I will learn? All I need to know is that I am cell-phone-Chevy-9-to-5-free.       Love you.Like damn, I'm from Minnesota, land of the cold airToo many mosquitoes and our fair share of egosBut like my man Sabe says, that's where my mommy staysSo if the people laugh and giggle when you tell em where you liveAnd if you know this is where you wanna raise your kidsIf you're from the Midwest and it doesn't matter whereIf you can drink tap water and breathe the airSay shhh, say shhh