Date: 2008-10-08
From: Millinocket AT Lodge

To: Katahdin
Miles today: 5.2
Weather: clear sky

Transitioning from sleep into awakening, I instinctively illuminated my watch and saw that it was only 04:35. Good, plenty of time, taking a breath, I mouthed the words in a whisper to myself "Well, this is it, today's the day, you finally made it".I stared into the dark, searching for what I was feeling and what realizations would come to mind? Though very excited to walk the last miles, take my place on the Mountain and proclaim my personal victory, I on the otherhand found myself feeling quite sad?Today would be marking a "greater end", rather than a "new beginning". I was not "looking forward too" as much as I was "already missing". I thought, "hold on son", you shouldn't be feeling like this, you dreamed of this day, you should be a lot happier?For a few more moments, I layed there thinking back on the last 6 months with random scenes playing, as if I were watching them on a screen. I soon could feel my face stretch from smiling and my chest heaving up and down from quiet laughter. Yeah, this is my happy place, I will come back here soon and often.I could now hear others beginning to stir around down stairs. Well Mark, this is it......GAME TIME!I pulled everything from my pack that wasn't already piled next to my bed. I bagged all the items I was leaving behind in my pack liner. I filled my water bladder, packed some warm gear and opened a bottle of wine and transferred it to my platypus. I exchanged some congratulatory remarks with SouthPaw and Stubbs, had something to eat and went next door to check on Sprite & Freckles. Since they had a rental car, we operated from our own schedule. We soon were loading into the car and on our way by 06:00 a.m.There wasn't alot of flowing conversation during the ride. It wasn't like the giddy school kid energy and laughter we shared at the very beginning. I think each of us were processing our own feelings and preparing or coming to terms with the significance of today and what all it embodies?I examined my own feelings and there were many, however I couldn't seem to shake a certain tension? Something was eating me at the core, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it? When we arrived to Baxter Park there was a line of cars backed up. Each paying at the kiosk and each asking a series of questions that seemed to take forever. I wasn't aware right away that my tension and frustration was stressing, until it was suggested that I get out and walk for a bit. I didn't understand what had me so knotted up inside? I managed to cool down as I didn't want this to blemish the memory of our journey and freindship. We finally parked where we had arrived 4 days ago. Before I started up, I wanted to make another entry in the hiker register at the Ranger station. I have one on the 4th & 8th.The trail started relatively flat with an upward incline, I came upon several others as they were making their way as well. I was crossing a wooden foot bridge when I noticed two girls, one was... yes it is....it's Michelle..it's "Certain"! I had followed her journal last year and was sorry when she got off the trail. I learned a few days ago from "Uncle Tom" that she was out here. I was hoping to meet her, and now here she was. It's like meeting a celebrity after getting to know them and sharing through their journal of their adventure, and take on life in general?Though we had never met, it was good to see her and I felt like I had known her for a long time. We chatted, took pictures and wished each other well as today we both would be summiting. Afterward the trail became steep. I passed the 2 waterfalls and was taking in everything as I moved ever upward. Once above tree line I could see other faces of Katahdin that are rarely photographed, or atleast not posted.I kept reminding myself that I am actually here.The trail soon became more of a technical climb. As I left tree line and became exposed, the winds were blowing at least 50 mph! When I could, I would stop and look out from the Mountain. It was an amazingly clear day. I thought of how fortunate I was, not only to be here, but to have such a clear beautiful day in which to enjoy it? There have been many others whom had come all this way and not been able see and enjoy what they worked so hard for and finishing in complete fog.Just as I had started climing the tall rocky shoulder, which was the edge of two faces of the mountain, I caught up with Sprite & Freckles. Peregrin was there as well, our smiles were wide and our excitement slowly building. As we all continued to climb, I noticed the wind was dying down and the scenery only seemed to intensify as I scanned the panorama.We came upon more ice and snow, as now the mountain was covered. It was easy to see why the mountain had been closed. Sprite & I commented on how the mountain felt different from the many others we had climbed? Katahdin seemed to have a different energy about it, you could really feel it? Or atleast we could feel it? The climb up, would take us 3-1/2 hours. As we approached the summit, the wooden sign came into view. There it finally was, the coveted symbol, marking victory and completion of a long journey and a dream come true.We continued to walk toward it and joined others whom were congregated there and along the summit. The 5 days of the mountain closure had created a bottleneck of hikers.We took our turn in having our moment with the sign, then posed to be immortalized forever and have the memory captured.I know of others who stood here before with only a handful of people to share it with. However today, I am standing here, sharing this moment with 40 to 50 others. It is a clear day in which you can see for miles. The energy and celebration is amazing, I wish words could truly express what it feels like to be standing here right now!I looked over to the "Knife Edge", which I had hoped to walk while I was up here. The conditions had it restricted, which to me, translated into an invitation to return at a later date.With the exception of maybe four, I knew everyone up here. Bottles of Champagnewere being shared, along with Wine, Whiskey and other forms of intoxicant celebration. For a while, we were souls who answered to a calling, shared the adventures of the journey and were now toasting in it's completion.Amid the revalry, I was able to find a spot in which I could watch the others, scan the horizon 360 degrees and have a personal moment. I reflected back to the very beginning when this all started. I thought of the many faces full of excitement, anticipation, naivity and fear. I thought of how the simplest things had brought the most happiness and seemed to have the most meaning? And I thought of those whom I wish could be standing here with me right now. To those who made up the rest of the Magnificent 7, TopShelf, Springloaded, Rawhide & Maverick, you are here with me now, as you have always been on this journey, in a place that will always be special. As for my family, I wish we could share this. I would love to give you what I have experienced and the greatness I have felt. I would love for you to know the taste of mountain spring water dripping from a rock, or the warmth in being with people close to you, while spending several days of being wet and trudging through the rain and mud. I would love for you to know that your kindness can change people and a helping hand is more valuable than a bag of gold. And finally, above all, Dare to dream, Dream well and then Realize them!It would be near impossible to recount everything that went through my mind?One thing, that does stand out, is that I am not ready to go. I did want to bring closure to the trail. However, I'm not excited like I should be in returning to the way of life I had left.Maybe that's it, that's what has been bothering me deep down and affecting me for the past several weeks? The closer today came, the more unsettled I had become. Wow, tell it to the mountain. I need to make some changes don't I?More and more, I realize that I didn't listen to past lessons that I thought I had learned about my life?There's nothing like Trail Wisdom or BackPack Philosophy to have it put into proper perspective.*Everything you really need in life, will fit into your pack. Everything else is just extra weight, it serves no purpose to carry it.*Simplicity creates abundance. If you have all you need, then you have it all.*Look for the good, you'll find the good, and be rewarded with good.**And my favorite, Angels do walk with us. I feel my spirits now lifting, afterall this is a special moment, it is many things to many people, and as I mentioned before, you can feel the energy from the Mountain and from everyone here, and it feels GOOOOOD!For us, the mountain top celebration lasted less than 2 hours. That in itself almost seemed sad, in that, it had taken 6 months with so much happening in between to get here. But this only reinforced, that it is " about the journey and not the destination". The climb down seemed even more challenging in some places, however the view remained amazing. Not wanting to ever forget, I looked back up at The Mountain that had lured us, teased us, and made a cliffhanger in keeping it just out of reach for what seemed like an eternity? Then finally, shared it's treasure with those lucky few- Who Dared to Dream and made it come true!