Date: 2009-06-27
From: PA 309, Blue Mountain Shelter

To: Palmerton, PA
Miles today: 13.6

I got up early for two reasons: I had a deadline to meet and I was so sickened by that man's actions that I didn't think I would be able to look at him. I had to get away from there! I packed up my hammock and sleeping bag as silently as I could and moved over to the picnic table next to the restaurant to try to eat some oatmeal. I didn't want to look at the tent of the section hikers so as not to see the mess he left behind. I felt so bad for the owner of the restaurant who let us camp on his property out of his own kindness. I hoped he didn't think it was us who did this.    Before anyone else got up, I was off. It was hard to get the sounds and images from the night out of my head. For most of the hike, I wondered "why?". Why would a woman stay with someone who abused her like that? And why would she go to such length to defend him? That was the most confounding part of all for me. Why wouldn't she tell anyone what he was doing to her? I concluded that she is either terrified about being alone (that no one else would want to date her) as well as shamed for having brought this man into her life and home, or that he has threatened to kill her if anyone finds out. And what are we, who are witnesses, supposed to do about a situation such as this? What can we do that would not make the situation even worse for the woman?   The behavior of someone I am close to in some ways came charging into my head in the middle of the night when the yelling and abuse began. It terrified me. I have my own experience with abuse, although I am not in the same situation as this woman. The person I know doesn't live in my house- or even in my state. And yet, I find it hard to set up boundaries because I like his good sides and don't want to rid my life of him completely. However, he does not seem capable of caring for another human and has repeatedly hurt me in many ways.   I think that a lot of us woman who are natural nurturers find it hard to dismiss people who sometimes show one side while showing the complete opposite at different times because we so desperately want to help them. We know they are in great need and we think we can make life better for them and ease their pain. Unfortunately, this almost never works.To ALL WOMEN AND GIRLS out there: If someone is abusing you, get away immediately! NO ONE deserves to be treated like this. Turn to anyone you can for help. There is help out there for you. If you can't find a family member or friend to help, look into the resources within your community. It is extremely harmful to both you and your children to stay with a man who treats you poorly. If he shouts at you and calls you names, that is enough reason to get away. There is a better life waiting for you. It is up to us to protect ourselves and surround ourselves with good people who truly care about us.    I made it down to the road that leads into Palmerton, which I knew was one mile away. I could see the climb I would be doing the next day- on the treeless, zinc mined mountain. But for now, I just wanted to get into town and get my food. The MD3 girls were trying to hitch into the town in the opposite direction and weren't having any luck. I headed across the bridge and found myself at a "T" with only a stretch of highway in front of me. I decided I would just walk it. No one slowed to offer me a ride. The day was hot and there was no protection from the sun. I thought it strange to be walking on a highway with cars zooming by at over 60 mph, but chalked it up to another trail experience. A police car passed by at one point, but didn't stop. (Erik later told me that what I did was illegal). As I got closer to the Palmerton signs, I wondered, "How am I going to get off this highway?". Then, I figured, "I'll just have to take the ramp like the cars" and that is what I did. I walked into town and came across some hikers enjoying themselves on the patio of a restaurant. "You look hot", they said to me. Thanks... I was so tired and just wanted to get my package and settle down and rest. I got my package with no problem, and walked some more down the street in search of the Palmerton police station where we were required to check in if we were to stay in the jail hostel. I found the station, but all of the doors were locked. I walked around the building several times, trying each door to no avail. I next tried the library, but the librarian just handed me the phone after dialing the number to the police station. I got a recording. Back and forth, I wandered between the hostel (I couldn't figure out how to get in there either) and the police station. There was no one around to help. I was so hot, hungry, and tired, that I was about to lose it. Finally a neighbor to the hostel showed me the entrance and called the police station. There would be a changing in the staff at 4, and I could enter the building when the newly on-duty policemen did so. I headed over there to find the group I had spent the night with cheerily signing in. (They got rides into town). They had been dealing with the night's events by imitating the vomiting sounds of the abuser during the hours of the hike, and afterwards. (I was glad I hiked alone because that would have made things even harder for me). They said he had blamed the vomiting on "bad nachos." Do bad machos also make you yell at and hit your wife, K.H.? L.H. reportedly defended him- "Oh, honey, nachos always make you sick."... They ended up going home later that day and not finishing their section. He couldn't very well have gone on with his cover now blown.   One by one, we had to have our driver's licenses photocopied, and give the station our full names, trail names, home addresses, social security numbers, and phone numbers- all to stay in the basement hostel of the city building. Why??!... I didn't even question the officer because I was so tired and just wanted to rest. I found a little cafe, and made an afternoon/evening of it. I ate a couple of meals there, labeled my photos, and wrote a couple of journal entries. I returned to a crowded hostel, set up my sleeping pad on a hard wooden bunk, and prepared for bed. I didn't even get a shower in this town. The only one available was an open co-ed one in the old gym (no towels, and no privacy!). One thing was for sure- I was not going to leave this town the way I came in!!