Date: 2016-04-22
From: Groundhog shelter

To: Hot Springs, NC
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: light rain

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain on the window, and voices in the hostel kitchen discussing how we are all stuck here. The trail is closed due to the forest fire, for an indeterminant amount of time. Everyone is fretting about the miles they will be missing. Everyone but me, that is. I am lying in bed feeling miserable and wondering why. Other than the usual nagging issues of knees and feet, physically I feel fine. Although there is that deep fatigue that comes from walking many miles carrying 25-30 pounds,but it is more than that. I want to quit. I want to go home. I miss my friends; I miss my life. I miss hot running water. I hate having dirty hands all the time. Now I can't even hike the next 14 miles because the trail is closed, so I have to rework my food plan as well as recalculate daily mileage and where to camp at night. It is overwhelming. Quitting weighs heavily on my mind. Should I or shouldn't I? I've hiked an awful long ways and lived to tell about it. So I have accomplished something. But it is not enough. Sighing heavily, I get out of bed and go make a cup of tea, hoping to bring clarity to this miasma.Having downed the first cup, I decide the first step is to fix the knee and leg cramp issue. I call and make an appointment for a massage. That done, I work on the second cup of tea. The mind fog is clearing, and I realize that I cannot quit today. It is a well know fact that you never, ever quit on a bad day. If you truly want to quit, it must be done on a day with beautiful blue sky, white puffy clouds, sun shining, temperature perfect for hiking, beautiful views and a wonderful place to camp. That is when you can toss down your pack and say goodbye to the trail.During my massage, there at the hostel/lodge, I am told that Hot Springs is a place many people quit or think of quitting. We have all come 273 miles and everyone is worn thin. As the massage therapist stated, many have breakdowns about now, and many leave the trail. She assures me that what I am going through is normal and to be expected. I feel a great sense of relief. I am not alone in my struggle. This later proves to be true as I sit with other hikers around the dinner table, and we honestly evaluate how we are viewing this adventure. What an eyeopener: they all feel the same. It is hard, hard work, day after day. Everyone is working hard to remain positive, but again, even that is hard work!!Tonight I met my new hiking partner, Kangapard. She wears a kangaroo hat and when it was cold, she had leopard print pants. Thus the trail name Kangapard!She had been hiking with her cousin, and it just wasn't working out. I invited her to look over my mileage plan and see if she wanted to hike with me for the week, covering from Hot Springs, NC to Erwin, TN. It is always reassuring to have a hiking buddy, especially camping. I told her of my struggles, and that I had decided not to quit today, but to give it another week until I reached Erwin. I reread all the wonderful supportive journal entries readers have sent in and take strength from them. Thanks to social media, more support comes pouring in through Facebook. I sent a message to fellow Trail Dames telling of my woes, and they begin a network of communication to see who is in the area that may be able to help, in any way. Offers come pouring in. Everyone wants me to succeed, even people who don't know me. I am uplifted. I will try again. I will continue on¢¦¢¦..