Date: 2015-04-23
From: Daleville, VA

To: Wilson Creek Shelter
Miles today: 11.2
Weather: overcast clouds

The other day Nikki (my wife, for anyone that doesn't know) posted on her Facebook a Good, Bad, and Ugly perspective from her side. I thought it'd be important for you to see the other point of view too. This is taken directly from post:For those of you who have been following Steve¢s thru-hiking blog, he recently wrote about the good, the bad, and the ugly in regards to hiking the 2,189 miles of the Appalachian Trail. He inspired me to also write a little blurb from my perspective. Although Steve is on this solo journey, his experience has also had a profound effect upon me and our relationship. Many people have asked me questions or have had concerns over the last few months, so I thought I would also take a minute to write from the ¢wife of a thru-hiker¢s¢ perspective about what life is like being left at home. Here is my side of the good, the bad and the ugly of the trail:The Ugly:¢¢ Loss and Grief- Although your husband is not dead, it feels this way at first. Be prepared to feel like you have had the rug pulled out from under your feet. You will feel incredibly sad. All of his things are there but he is not. You¢ll get angry, you¢ll get sad, you¢ll cry, you¢ll barter and finally you will accept that you aren¢t going to see this person for at least 6 months.¢¢ Stress- Thought you were stressed before? Nope. Plan on taking upon all of the responsibilities you divvied up as a couple and now take all those upon yourself. Things break, you have to fix them. Keep up the house, yard, bills, grocery shopping and everything else that comes with being an adult- it¢s all on you now. Oh and continue to work your full time job so you can pay everything quotes above.¢¢ Support- Be prepared to have to not only do everything yourself but to also support your husband while on the trail. You had a crazy busy day at work and are stressed. Too bad. Drop everything, run to the store to pick up things he needs and plan on becoming best friends with the post office ladies. To top this off, you have to continue helping and supporting him this way while having no reciprocating support.The Bad: ¢¢ Communication: Plan on not talking to your husband every day like you are used to. Plan on getting maybe a text message, having crappy reception. Something happens like an inside joke or something important? You can¢t just pick up the phone and call him because often he either has no reception or he is trying to conserve his battery to the next town.¢¢ The Haters: You just got married and your husband left you? He left his job? People judge your relationship and your decision as a couple to do this. Although you agreed to this journey and chose to support him and let him go, people question your relationship and why he ¢had¢ to do this. You also question it yourself. You have to be secure in the fact that you talked this through for many years and you support this decision, although it¢s been hard on you too. Try not to let the haters bring you down. ¢¢ Physical Love- You will physically not be able to hug, touch, or kiss this person for at least 6 months. Learn to accept hugs from others to get you through until you see him again. The Good¢¢ Re-kindling Friendships- Without your spouse you will find yourself having more time on your hands. Plan adult sleepovers, go on a date night with your girlfriends and find some fun things to do. Meet up with old friends.¢¢ Find your own Kathadin- He¢s working towards this very impressive goal. Find your own goals. For me, I¢m working towards running a 12 marathon, I¢m going white-water rafting and I get to go to New Orleans for my job. Having your own little goals helps to pass the time he is gone but also make you feel like you are accomplishing something too!¢¢ Enjoy being alone- I know that I am a social person and like having people around. Being lonely has been something I have had to work through on this journey. I have been trying to find the silver lining of being able to pee with the door open, blast music in the morning and eat ice cream while sitting on my kitchen counter with no judgment. Oh, and the house stays as clean as you left it and as dirty as you want it to be.¢¢ Strength- You will be absolutely amazed at how much this journey changes you. You will find strength inside you that you had no clue you had. I always thought that Steve and were very independent, but having him gone has shown me that I am more resilient and stronger than I ever imagined!¢¢ Support from others- You will be absolutely amazed at the outpouring of support that people show you. People will contact you and do small gestures for you that warm your heart. You truly see the kindness in people shine. ¢¢ Love- Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Absolutely! Just hearing their voice gives you butterflies in your stomach, and having a spare moment to facetime and actually see their face is the absolute highlight of your week. Remember: it¢s just temporary and before you know it you will be reunited with the person you love the most in this world and then you get to set out on new adventures in life together.