Date: 2008-09-10
To: Sue's AT thoughts
Miles today: 0.0

From Sue: For many years we had planned to hike the AT together, but our retirements got out of sync and then Old Goat decided he had to hike the AT alone. I was in another job in 2006, but I would have left my job or taken a leave of absence to hike the AT with him that year, but that was not to be. Before he told me he wanted to hike it alone, I was very excited about hiking the AT. I looked forward to hiking it as a team and experiencing everything together. What an exciting and healthy way to start our retirement years! Now that we are again planning to hike it together, I don¢t have the same feeling about it as I had before 2006, and I feel as if I¢ve lost something by not having the level of excitement about it I did the first time we were talking about hiking the AT together (before 2006). We won¢t be experiencing everything anew together, and I expect to hear him say, ¢When I was here in 2006¢¦..¢ over and over and over and over again. If our shakedown hike in August is any indication, my expectations will hold true. I do understand that Old Goat will do a lot of reflecting about his 2006 solo hike, and he¢s entitled to that. I would prefer that this be the first time for both of us, but since that won¢t be the case I will try my best to not be angry by hearing ¢When I was here in 2006¢¦.¢ repeatedly. I want this to be OUR hike, not Old Goat¢s hike all over again.We could have done our first long hike together on some other trail, but I¢ve had the AT on my mind for so many years, that that¢s the trail I want to do first. Besides, I do draw comfort in knowing Old Goat has already successfully done the AT, and his experience and recollections of places to stay, to see, and to experience are invaluable. Although I do look forward to our hike, I have apprehensions about it at the same time. I know that¢s normal. After all, this is a huge endeavor ¢¦ about six months of daily hiking, some days much harder than others. Being dirty and stink for days on end, and a lot of miserable things day in and day out. I believe it¢s mostly a matter of the mind. I know I can withstand things pretty well, but I worry about not having the will power to stick with it to the end. (I do expect to finish, however¢¦..I just know there will be many very challenging days¢¦.most being emotionally challenging.)I also know my backpacking skills aren¢t where they need to be. Old Goat had a LOT of backpacking experience before he hiked the AT in 2006. I¢ve done some, but nowhere near as much as Old Goat has. He has backpack camped with Scouts for years, and he¢s taken me and our kids into the Adirondack Mountains a few times, plus he¢s done Philmont Boy Scout Ranch Treks four times ¢ as a teen in Boy Scouts, with our son when he was old enough, with me, and the last time as an adult supporter for a local contingent of scouts. (He looks forward to when he might do it with a Grandson in a few years!!) The year I was there Old Goat was the leader of the local contingent of scouts. A young lady in Venture Scouts wanted to go to Philmont, but needed a female adult with her, so I was thrilled to be female adult. It was hard, but VERY rewarding. I found it very difficult to be almost the slowest person in the group. By the time I caught up to the teens as they were taking a short break, they were all rested and ready to go again. I constantly felt rushed to try and keep up, and my stops felt nonexistent ¢¦ I guzzled down as much water as I could between gasping for breath, then off again. I was queasy the whole 10 days of our trek, and thought that perhaps it might be from the altitude. (I¢ve since discovered that the queasiness happens when I have intense physical exertion for a couple hours or more. I do have a problem with altitude as well, but the physical exertion is the main problem.)I thought I had physically prepared fairly well for Philmont ¢ WRONG! I underestimated what to expect. There will be three major differences when Old Goat and I start on the AT in March. (1) I¢ve figured out how to not be queasy with strenuous exercise. (Electrolyte replacement drinks.) (2) I¢m doing a LOT more physical preparation and will be in much better shape to start off. And (3), I won¢t have a group of teenagers to have to keep up with. Old Goat is so patient. He lets me lead when we¢re hiking. I keep a pretty good pace when I don¢t feel rushed to HAVE to keep up. I think we¢ll be very compatible in our hiking pace.At the end of July I retired from my last job and now find myself sometimes struggling to find my niche. I go to the gym and participate in exercise classes almost every day (I really enjoy them, and I find it easier to keep with it in person than with an exercise tape). And then I usually go back to the gym most evenings with Old Goat and do aerobic and strength exercises. I love not having to get up at a specific time (but I do get up with Old Goat to stay on a regular sleep/wake schedule), and having the time to run errands, shop, etc, without having to battle with the weekend crowds. I¢m struggling with getting motivated to mentally prepare for the AT. I planned to read hiker¢s Trail Journals, check other things out online, and write my thoughts. I haven¢t read any Trail Journals ¢ each time I¢ve tried, I¢ve gotten scared or emotional and stopped. And I started writing these notes in August¢¦..I didn¢t get very far the first couple times I sat down to write. Finally, I feel I¢ve finished this entry. Now I need to get my mind in line to do the rest!