Date: 2010-04-30
From: Damascus, VA

To: Unknown
Miles today: 0.0

Good morning everyone. Sorry to have not updated my journal in a while, but I have had to think about what I wanted to say about all this. I am leaving the trail for now and will be heading towards home soon. There are a few things I want to do before I do that though. The best way to explain this is to share that I actually decided to leave the trail at the Vandeventer Shelter a little over a week ago. I was told not to stop when you were tired, hurt, down, wet and cold, or in town because that would be to easy. Make your decision on top of a mountian when you feel on top of the world, so I did. As you know I have had a few set backs, so I kept going back to the trail, and each time I think it made me stronger in my commitment to be on the trail. Also, I needed to get to a point where the trail wasn't winning anymore and no matter what the trail put in my path I was able to deal with it. I had reached that point, and was enjoying the trail and all the people out there with me. I am not sure when I will return to the trail, but I will. As I sat there on those huge rocks behind the shelter looking out over Lake Watuga and the small town below I was thinking that for me life was so good, I am blessed beyond measure, and that for me there was far more reward in the valley below than up on the mountian where I sat. I was reminded that everything that made my life wonderful was down there. I have found that I am far more social than I thought too. I feel some how different now, and maybe one doesn't have to hike the entire trail to find, or be reminded of, what God wants you to see. It is true that everyone who comes to the trail is looking for something, and I was no different. I think for me I wasn't looking for something, I needed to leave something there. I have shared already that I felt my heart and spirit change the day I hiked out of New Found Gap, as though something had been taken from me that I had been carrying around for a long time. I still can not explain what that was, and today I believe it was many things, not just one thing. I have a newness in my spirit I haven't felt in a long time, a happiness in my step, and an openness to people around me that I want to put to good use. So what did God do in my heart? I do not know, but it has left me feeling alive again, and that was what the trail was giving me. With each step I felt alive, and free, and hopeful. Bill Erwin said at the end of the trail he realized he already had everything he had ever needed before he started he just didn't realize it. I do not have all the answers today, but today I want to be around people, giving back in the same measure that I am blessed, and opening my heart up to those around me, which I must admit I haven't been very good at for a long time. God is good, all the time. I want to give a shout out to some special people who shared my time on the trail that I will not soon forget, Rocker (please call your mother dude), Thrasher and Turkey, Will, Tennessee Tom, Saguaro, Hermit, Aikido Jo, Make Time, COB, Dr Evil, and Soul Searcher. I'll see ya'll up the trail.I'm going to drop off the grid for a while folks so don't bother looking for me. The world is to big, you won't find me.