Date: 2013-06-10
From: Jennings Creek tenting

To: Cornelious creek Shelter
Miles today: 8.7

According to the map today was straight up straight sown equally then 5 miles up, and up some more. I was already not looking forward to today. Within minutes of heading up I was in tears. My back hurt incredibly bad and it was pouring. My shoes were filled with water and my socks gushed with each step. the pain in my back was so sharp it took my breath away. I stopped under a hemlock fir tree and dropped my pack. I bent down to fix it but there was nothing I could do. I leaned my head against a tree and sobbed, harder than I have in years. This was it, this was as far as I could go like this. I tried to walk through it yesterday tried to fix tried medicine but nothing worked. This was no longer fun and I wasn't trying to harm my back for life. I wasn't going to go back down the hill to Jennings Creek in the rain so I thought when I get to Bryant Ridge Shelter I'll test my mom that I am done come and get me. I continued crying as I put my pack back on and trudged up the river trail. The rain washed a way my sweat, tears, snot, and dirt off my face which I was glad for. I watched the water collect in little dames on the trail and I tried to put my pole down so as to break the hold up and let the puddle flow down so as to break up the holdup and let the water flow down.. My sister and I used to play in the creeks creating and destroying small dams. I smiled as I thought about telling her about my micro dams. I caught up to Smoke and Ann as we were going downhill. Redup called to us across the valley to cross the swollen river farther upstream because the AT crossing was almost waste high. I don't know why I tried so hard not to get my shoes wet in crossing as they were already soaked. The trail went back uphill and so of course I started crying again. But then I saw the shelter such a beautiful sight! I staggered up to the shelter and dropped my dripping pack. I sat down unable to really comprehend much. This shelter was really nice. It had a whole patio with picnic tables shelter deck and an upper floor. My voice was shaky as I told Redup, Smoke and Ann that I was done for the day. I pulled out my phone to test my mom but I didn't have service HaHa! Obviously God wanted me on this mountain. I was kinda glad because I didn't really want to quit just felt like it. I laughed as I shared with the others my thoughts, earlier and my dead phone. They continued to the next shelter but I stayed trying to dry my tent out in the little sunshine that peeked out. I checked out their privy and it was pretty nice too. Some of the large loud group came up and laid their stuff out too. It was a funny sight to see at least 6 hikers tents flys and ground cloths dropped over the ground and bushes. The sun was out, I didn't have cell service and I wasn't going to backtrack so the only thing to do was to go north. When some people started smoking pot I knew it was time to go on. I'd spent about 3 hrs there relaxing so off I went up 5 miles. It was 1:30, Sunny in the heat of the day. I just took it one step at a time, knowing eventually I would make it there even if it took me a mile an hour. Captain don't Wild Willy came SOBO and we chatted. They were slack packing and staying at campgrounds fo cheap. Their idea sounded good right now. I still wanted to make it to Katahdin so I was trying to think of every way possible. I stopped to snack on some oreos when I noticed the wind picking up. I shouldered my pack and moved on hoping the wind didn't mean what I think it meant. The wind got stronger and it got darker as if it were nighttime. I struggled to increase my pace but the pain was still there. The wind stopped for a few moments and I could hear the storm approaching. The coming rain was thunderous as if it were a jet.   A gust of wind blasted me right as the rain hit. I was drenched in seconds. These weren't rain drops, this was sheet of rain, gusting across the mountain side. I cried out wondering why God didn't make the rain wait 30 more minuets til I was in the shelter. The trail again turned into a river filling my boots with cold water. I started going downhill which I didn't recall from the map. It got rocky and I was sure I was going to trip and fall I thought back to what Goldilocks wrote in the shelter register, "Walk by faith and not by sight"I repeated that over and over to myself knowing that God was keeping me upright and because my glasses were completely covered in rain drops. I could not see the trail at all and was blindly stepping forward. the shelter sigh appeared but the shelter was a little more evasive though. I turned corners and turned corners and still I went uphill the trail looked like it split into 3 and I was so confused. I though the left looked like the water source so I went right right and after a few steps almost ran into a hammock tarp. That looked like Redups. Yay!!! I had arrived. I dumped my pack in the shelter which was full of people half said they were tenting but just chilling in the shelter. I asked if they'd make room because I wanted to set up my bed and get warm but no one even moved. So I stood there cold and shivering with my bed roll but no where to put it. The rain slowed to a drizzle and finally someone got up. Another person immediately lit there stove in the shelter right where I was about to roll out my rest. Argh! Alright. I was gonna have to get pushy and rude here. I didn't want to take my wet backpack and wet me all the way into the shelter, but I had to. If they'd make a little room I wouldn't have to carry my dripping pack over their stuff. I made a nice wet muddy path in the shelter and set up my bed finally. I changed into dry clothes in the privy and just sat on my bed for a good hour. The sun tried to shine through as more hikers came and went. I cooked my noodles in the shelter like everyone else was doing. I cooked mashed potatoes but they were nasty so I handed them off to another hiker. I got in my bag and just watched everyone interacting for awhile. I told myself that tomorrow is a new day that it'll be better. the forecast was rain during the night stopping at dawn. Well it was still raining hard at 7. Most of us stayed in our bags and cooked breakfast in the shelter. Rerun has an osprey pack she doesn't really like and is getting a new one in 3 days. I tried her pack on and she said I could use it once she got hers. I said I'd think about it. It's hard to fit a pack without walking with it. I finally left around 9ish once the rain stopped.