Date: 2006-04-28
From: NOC; Bryson City, NC

To: Sassafras Gap
Miles today: 6.9
Weather: clear sky

Woke early to enjoy one of the best inventions ever: the hot shower. I ended up eating with 3 groups that morning at the riverside restaurant. I rolled in and John Peterson and John(the section / other trail hiker) briefly as they were just about down. Then Animal house and Rainbow Brite rolled in. Then when we were wrapping up Dutchie, Nails, and Jane Doe rolled in. But on to the really fun stuff....We ate at the Pizza by the River (~2.4 miles up stream) and the Co-Owner there shared some of his life experiences with us; these are as close to chronological order as could be determined:At 3.5 years old he went skiing for the first time and did a double black diamond on his first run. The stranger that he was following ended up asking his parents if he could train him from Olympic skiing. He was a test case for Riddlin which stunted his growth. Which lead to... Sent to Venezuela for training to become a Jockey but the boarding school there didn't believe in using medication as a behavior modifier. Which caused him to grow like mad (from 4'3" to 6'3" in 1 year), which doesn't help the jockey cause, so he returned to skiing. Had an IQ test and got a 67 but was retested in a different format to account for the A.D.D. and received a 187. 13 yrs old: Graduated high school. Dual degree in Pre-Med and Aerospace Engineering at 17. Made it on the Olympic ski team at 19 but in celebration of that achievement he got really drunk(not sure if this is the correct amount but as we recalled it: 2 5ths of grain and 36 beers) and hit a tree on the way home( on the same road as seen in the Driving Miss Daisy movie)... Spent 54 weeks in the hospital from that accident. Two weeks after he was released he was hit by a cinder block that fell from an overpass while he was driving 75 mph which send him back to the hospital and to the crazy eye doctor who performed 42 corrective surgeries. Unfortunately for him they found out 2 weeks too late that it was a big time malpractice case and if he ever found out he was about to die he would track that doctor down and do him in. Hike the AT in 3 months 3 weeks to get away from people; in fact he never talked to anyone the whole trip, instead he'd communicate via notecards. Masters Degree in Aerospace Engineering. Worked in Area 51 and can vouch for alien technologies that came from that site. Worked as a contractor for the military in Saudi Arabia and Jamaica. In Saudi Arabia he met up with the sheikh's Son's personal bodyguard whose father was the chief of police. The guy was trained from childhood for the position and had 6 4th degree black belts in various forms of karate. He could also open beers with the pins in his eye socket(eye was removed for looking at dirty pictures). This man became his trainer in martial arts. Also in Saudi Arabia they almost had an international incident when 2 of the mechanics made a still in their off-base housing. In Jamaica, he and a friend went to play(and maybe shark) people at a pool hall when they went to leave where confronted by a large mob of people. Luckily, they had met this guy earlier who said to drop his name if anyone ever gave them a hard time. So, they said to the mob, "Tex wouldn't like you starting trouble here.". This caused the mob to disbanded immediately. As it turns out "Tex" is the drug lord of Jamaica. Now the co-owner of the Pizza By the River and enjoys kayaking on the river The shelter that night was loaded with people and we all have an awesome campfire. One guy song "The Scotsman Kilt" and "Seven Drunken Nights", both of which where very funny. There were some good jokes as well. Some of the more memorable ones were; "President Bush receives daily updates on the war in Iraq. One morning the guy comes in to give the report and says. 'Sir, we lost 3 Brazilian today.', to which the president looked confused and shocked. Finally, he replies, 'My god! Just how many are there in a Brazillion?!'" Another was, "Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees"