Date: 2005-10-07
To: Missing The AT
Miles today: 0.0

It is hard to believe that I was still hiking the AT only three weeks ago. The wave of society has seemed to pour on top of me, engulfing me with great force and persistence. I have been enjoying aspects of societal living ¢ spending time with my immediate family, spending time with my church family, being able to worship God with a community of believers, reuniting with friends. But I miss the simplicity of my life on the trail; cleaning out my closet at home was an abhorrent task lacking any degree of meaning. I miss my friends on the trail; I must remind myself that I will not soon catch back up to Porter, Bams, Caroline, Shawn, Happy & GG, Radio & Krazy Katie, Uber-hiker and many others. I must remind myself that such talk sounds very silly to people who have not experienced the journey and that they believe that I must adjust back into society. Most people do not realize how sad and treacherous it would be for me to simply let go of aspects of the ¢trail mentality¢ just so that I can fit snugly into a square peg. I must remember these truths and react properly with a smile and nod.I miss watching the morning sun break through a thick canopy of trees and then through mist that is almost as thick as the canopy to illuminate dancing particles of matter. I miss feeling alive while easing my way into (or sometimes tensely jumping into) streams and ponds of water that are, at best, invigorating but usually downright cold and holding my breath under the water until I absolutely must come up for air and taking in the deepest breath of refreshment and doing it again. I miss flowing over rock and root-choked terrain with the speed and agility that only comes from experience and that causes you to no longer see the rocks and roots and mountains and mud puddles as obstacles but as steps and springboards and tools used to sharpen your skills. I miss finding a spot of shade in the summer or of sun in the early spring and thanking God for such simple gifts as I bask in the coolness or the warmth and survey my surroundings for points of interest that always seem to be plentiful. I miss sharing stories with my fellow hikers about the daily events or about future plans or about anything that happens to come up in conversation around a dying campfire that ripples and pops like a single-colored kaleidoscope and demands everyone¢s visual attention but allows their minds to wander.There are too many aspects to list. I have looked at some of the preliminary entries in people¢s 2006 trail journals. Excitement abounds and the common phrase is ¢we are going to have the time of our lives.¢ You most certainly will. I thank God for this time and for everything I have learned along the way. I hope I will be able to carry the joy of the trail with me for a long time, but I know many aspects will fade as they have already begun fading. I want to capture every intangible aspect of the journey and seal it up in a box to be experienced at times when I need it or when I feel like I have forgotten. I have a water bottle filled with water from Katahdin Stream and I drink deep a small sip every so often and go back to that place and many others in my mind until the phone rings and I wake up like someone falling in a dream.