Date: 2017-05-16
From: Erwin

To: Home
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

Hello all.. I'd like to start off by apologizing for taking so long to make an update here on trail journals. I've been back at home in NH for going on a week now and can now say that my journey along the AT has come to an end. After a couple days in Erwin I decided I wanted to leave the AT and end my attempt at a thru-hike. It was not a decision that came easily and I am still unsure if I made the right decision. I suppose only time will tell. There wasn't one sole reason that resulted in me leaving the trail but several small aspects of the trail that I had come to dislike that ultimately led to me wanting to leave the trail behind. First and foremost, I was missing Zealand a whole hell of a lot. Those of you who have followed along know that I had days where I missed her dearly. I continued to have those feelings on most days. I found myself staring at the photo I had of her in my guidebook several times a day for long periods of time just wishing that I was at home spending time with her. This feeling peaked on my last night on trail at Big Bald Shelter which was shared with Daddy Longlegs and his faithful companion Cole. While I felt joy being with another dog on the trail, it led me to missing Zealand that much more and the following morning while hiking I couldn't keep my mind off her. Aside from missing Zealand, I began to dislike other aspects of the trail. To me, it seemed as though hiking the AT was no longer just hiking but had evolved more in to a race. I was waking up every morning, breaking down my gear as fast as I could and getting started down the trail before most other hikers in order to get to the next destination before them. It was unpleasant, unenjoyable and it sucked the fun out of what was supposed to be a pleasant experience. This feeling of racing along the AT did not just appear out of nowhere. It began when temperatures began to drop and dangerous weather presented itself. It was no longer a leisurely stroll to the next shelter but a race to get there in order to stay warm, dry and out of the elements. This feeling can't be blamed on the trail itself however. This is a feeling that I developed on my own and I'm sure there are others who have never had this issue before. Another aspect I disliked was the overpopulation of people on the trail. I went into the AT knowing fully well that there were going to be hundreds of other hikers out there at the same time but I was confident that I would be able to keep away from them. Such was not the case, and I was constantly running into other hikers when I would have preferred to be alone. The Appalachian Trail is a social trail without a doubt. As I've said before, I'm not the most social individual. I have a small but tight group of friends that I spend time with here back at home. Outside of that friend group I rarely interact with others unless I'm at work. Something that goes hand in hand with the social aspect of the trail is the trails culture. I grew to dislike the constant conversation that seemed to dominate all other topics of conversation on the trail. First question asked every time you meet someone is "whats your trail name?" usually followed by "how many miles are you doing today?" and typically at some point "how much does your pack weigh?" will come up. This was the recurring conversation that I faced every single day, multiple times a day. It gets old... really fast. It got to the point where I didn't want to take my headphones out when I would come across new people but knowing fully well that I would see them again at some point I did not want to come off as being rude.There were several other reasons why I chose to leave the trail other than the ones that I listed above but the ones I have spoken about are the ones that carried the most weight on my decision. I don't feel the need to ramble on about the remaining reasons so I will leave it at that.With all that said, I can't say that I didn't enjoy my time spent on the AT. I saw some really cool places, spent a lot of time with my dad that I otherwise wouldn't have done, went on my longest and furthest backpacking trip yet, and met and spent time with some great people who I wish all the best on the trail and in life thereafter. Bon Apetite, Murph, Jay & Sara, and Paruhkeet, you guys were the few I came to know, respect and enjoy spending time with while on the AT. I know you are all going to make it all the way to the end and on the off chance any of you stumble across this, let me know when you get to NH. When I first got home, I had thoughts of starting back up on the trail in a couple weeks heading SoBo from Katahdin once the mountain opens up. I've since put that idea to rest and I am content with doing my hiking here in NH with Zealand on the trails I've come to know and love. I've also begun looking at summer work and career possibilities and am looking forward to pursuing my goals outside of hiking. I want to thank each and every one of you who followed my journey along the AT. Many of you sent me very kind messages which always brightened my day when I received them. For any of you who are contemplating hiking the AT, do it. It doesn't matter how far or how long you go, just get out there and start walking. I'm glad I did and its certainly an experience I will never forget. Within the next few days, I will be doing a post with gear reviews for my equipment that I was given by theThru-Hike Syndicate companies for any of you who may be interested or are looking for gear for your own epic adventures. They will be honest and I will tell you exactly what I did and did not like about each piece of equipment.Farewell,William