Date: 2013-07-05
From: Rte. 2, Gorham

To: Gentian Pond Shelter
Miles today: 11.8

Well, all good things must come to an end, and after breakfast, a stop at the outfitter's, and a visit to the post office to pick up my new trailrunners, John dropped me at the Rte. 2 trailhead. I was feeling pretty down as he drove away. I've read enough about AT experiences to know that there's a major psychological component to long distance hiking, but it's tough. I guess I've reached the point where this is more of a mental challenge instead of a physical one. I'm feeling ready to be done with my hike, but I'm literally not there yet. John wisely commented that I'd never forgive myself if I didn't attempt to make it to Katahdin and he's right. So what could I do but hike? I pulled up my big girl pants and headed out on the trail.Yonder was leaving the hostel as I walked by so we chatted for a few minutes. He mentioned that he's having a hard time explaining his ambivalent feelings toward the trail to his friends in Germany. He said that every day he questions why he's out here but doesn't have an answer other than he feels he needs to complete this hike. The White Mountains were tough, especially with the rain, and perhaps we're all feeling a bit beat up from the experience?No rain this morning but wow, it was brutally hot. The Gorham forecast called for a high of 88 degrees and I believe it was well into the 80's as I hiked. The trail ascended almost 2,000 feet to the summit of Mt. Hayes, and then meandered up and down for the rest of the day. There were a lot of roots, rocks, and mud, and I have to admit I was moving lethargically. Maybe the heat, maybe my mood, but I couldn't seem to put any pep into my step.I'd had allusions that I might make it across the Maine border to Carlo Col Shelter but realized this wasn't going to happen with my slow pace. Yonder told me that both he and Just Dave were heading there and I would have liked to be there as well but just couldn't do it. Instead I stopped at Gentian Pond Shelter.I reached the shelter a bit before 5 and thought I might be by myself, so I took the luxury of setting up my tent in the shelter. I walked down to lovely Gentian Pond and enjoyed watching a pair of beavers swim around as I soaked my feet. It's a little disconcerting to know that the beaver pond is also my water source! A hiker named Dragonstick walked in at about 7, and he's hanging his hammock in the loft. His wife joined him during his White Mountain hiking and she just drove off this morning, so we compared our feelings. We both agreed that the heat today didn't help our moods.I appreciate everyone's words of encouragement in my guest book. All of your comments are sent to my email, so I always see them. The quote at the bottom of every entry ("the sun will come out beyond the shadow of my doubt...") is actually the second half of the chorus for a song called "Chico Gospel" by the duo MaMuse. The words to the preceding portion of the chorus are as follows: "Sometimes I get so down I feel like this is the end... there's no way in hell I can get over this mountain". I'm having some of those feelings lately but the sun will come out and I'm going to keep on walking! 286.5 miles left in this journey...Today's highlight: making it through this tough day.