Date: 2008-10-07
From: Millinocket AT Lodge

To: Millinocket AT Lodge
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

For the past 2 nights, the snoring has echoed throughout, and cuts the silence in the night like chainsaws with attitude on steroids!Each night I grab my sleeping bag and find a bed upstairs to lie on, in order to have sleep again, once I am awakened. I feel as if I am made of lead, lying here trying to find a reason to get up?Paul had returned last night, I could tell by his eyes, and already knew the answer before a word was spoken. The Mountain is still closed.Already since I have been here, time has ran out for others. Each day someone has had to face leaving the last 5 miles, unfinished. It is difficult to see the expression in their faces, and watch as their spirits are slowly broken. It might be easier if they were strangers, but they are not, these are people whom I have shared the trail with. Not only now, but forever, I will always remember them when I think of the AT.It would not have been the same journey without them. Perhaps life has something better in store for them, or perhaps climbing the mountain in the future will be a greater reward? In any case, my heart goes out to them.Well no matter what, a good breakfast is the way to start any day.So, another trip to the Appalachian Cafe, to get things started right.I am giving serious thought about the next 24 hours. I fly out day after tomorrow. Bangor is about 2 hours away and my flight is in the morning.The available bus schedule and connections, would put me there an hour or more after my scheduled flight. I have already contacted the airline in trying to extend my ticket? That alone would cost an additional several hundred dollars.No matter what, I would have to leave tomorrow in order to make the connection.I had lightly entertained the idea before, but now I am faced with a decision to make. Pushing as much pride to the side as I can, I am giving clear thought and weighing out the consequences in not catching my flight?It is non-refundable, so a few hundred dollars would be thrown away. I have exhausted my finances and could only hitch hike to get back home.Then there is the question of how much longer? How long can I realistic wait it out? There is no certainty that Katahdin would re-open at all this year?Freckles doesn't fly out until Saturday the 11th. And since Sprite is from Maine and has family here, she can wait indefinitely. Today they are getting a shuttle to Bangor to pick up a rental car and return. Their plan previously was to spend a few days in Maine together after summiting and before Freckles left.I stood for a long time in the town Gazebo situated in a little grassy area. It was a good place, to just look out and get lost in my thoughts. My pride spoke and reminded me in how I had waited so long, endured so much, and that there is no way after coming this far, that I am going to leave without finishing.All the prayers have been made, I have done all that I can do. The only thing left is to have faith that the right thing will happen?I eventually had returned to the hostel and later in the afternoon I was sitting on my bed, when Paul walked in. He said he had just spoken with the Rangers. Instantly I realized it was much too early, than when he normally speaks to them and get's the update. This can't be good if they are informing him this early? So I preparred to hear the words I didn't want to hear, or so I thought?In his next breath, Paul said they're going to open the trail tomorrow, he smiled and then said.....You're gonna do it!I sat there and was overwhelmed. I felt as if I had just been covered with a blanket. I don't know exactly what the sudden feeling of warmth was from, just that it enveloped me?In a broken voice, all I could say was ..."25 years" and then just looked down as my eyes partially blurred from from having a tear, then a flood of emotion quietly ran through me. Paul placed his hand on my shoulder, then left.******************************************************************************* A while had now passed in sorting through all the thoughts that had passed through my mind and the feelings they brought?The hostel seemed quiet, I needed a little excitement and wanted to celebrate.I walked the 2 miles up to the motel where most everyone was now staying.As soon as I walked up to the door, the news of the Mountain being open was posted on the glass. Once I walked inside, the large open area 2 floors high and nearly as wide as the building was filled with Hikers sitting around, toasting, laughing and celebrating the good news.I couldn't believe the motel was allowing this? However, each time the management walked by they smiled, acknowledged hikers by name and shared in our happiness, I was impressed!This was a happy moment, it was also the way we were saying goodbye to one and other, without actually saying the words. I met new faces as well, and we all shared laughter, stories and a good time.As the night progressed and was getting late, it was time to leave. I went next door to McDonalds to grab a quick bite then walked the 2 miles back to the AT Lodge.I suddenly became aware I was smiling again, there was Pride in my Stride and Pep in my Step, and before I knew it, I was back to the hostel. Without even laying on my bed, I grabbed my sleeping bag and went upstairs.I needed a good night's sleep, Tomorrow was going to be a special day, and I want to enjoy and remember every second of it.