Date: 2004-05-26
From: Damascus, VA

To: Damascus, VA
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: overcast clouds

Let's see today is the 20th 21st 22nd 23rd 24th 25th 26th holy shit!!! Ok, don't panic. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for us having spent 6 zero-days (we hiked 26.3 to get here on the 20th) in Damascus, Va. Actually, if you count the 2 zeros from Trail Days, and I do, that makes 8. Hmm, what if I add that 1st of all zero-days that we took in Franklin. That gives me 9. Of course we spent 2 zeros in Hot Springs, 11, and then there was that business week of days when we didn¢t move from Miss Janet¢s in Erwin, TN. That¢s how many now¢¦16. Oh, and I don¢t really count the 2 days of Hard Core with Bob Peoples at Kincora as hiking days so that¢s 2 more. 18 zero-days!?! What?!? That¢s well over 2 weeks I¢ve spent ¢on The Trail¢ when I haven¢t been on The Trail at all. Ok, technically I¢m on The Trail at this very moment. You see I am sitting in the library in Damascus, VA which is located on The AT where The AT also happens to be Damascus¢ Main Street for about a half mile. So I guess if you really wanted to argue the point you could say that I haven¢t spent a single zero day in Damascus, even including Trail Days, since I have walked at least a few yards of The Trail going from the outfitter to the Dollar Store to the Library and back and so on. Following this logic however you¢d also have to forget about the zero-days in Hot Springs for the same reason. Then there¢s trail maintenance at Kincora. We spent 2 days digging a half-mile of new trail that we were walking on at the same time plus we had to hike 2.5 miles to get to the new section. So, technically, if you really want to nitpick I guess these can¢t be considered zero-days either. And if you really want to split hairs we hiked a couple hundred yards of The AT before being driven into Franklin, NC so I guess you can subtract that 1 as well. That gives the arguer a new total of only the 5 days lost in Erwin, TN instead of a scarier 18 days in all. I guess you could say that that¢s a little better. Well, maybe you can but I can¢t. If you¢re willing to make all these concessions on a technicality then you are in danger of being labeled a purist. And, if you continue to argue with me the purists¢ argument then you are in danger of becoming the recipient of a very rude gesture involving at least one of my middle fingers. The truth is that, of the 7 or so weeks that we have been ¢hiking The Trail¢ we¢ve only spent 5 weeks actually hiking on The Trail. Why, you might ask, would I leave house and home, friends and family and cats, television and computer, car and city behind to hike The Trail only to spend a third of his time in towns. Well the answer is very simple¢¦because I am not an ¢I¢ at all but 14 of a ¢we¢. Easy right, well the answer might be easy but the explanation is involved. You see I am a member of a group of hikers (The Four Flavors) who began our trip together and as for The Trail we remain on it and in it together. I don¢t mean to say that the four of us march together up The Trail like a column of ants. In fact, it is as likely as not that the four of us even end up at the same shelter or campsite every night. What usually happens is that a couple of us (usually DigDug and I) will get out in front while the others (typically Wilson and Wad) move a little slower. This can also have an effect on our cumulative zero-days.DigDug and I often roll into town a full day, sometimes two ahead of Wilson and Wad and are completely rested and re-supplied by the time they catch up. Instead of leaving however, we are often coerced (though usually willing) to hang around a little longer to give them the tour of the best groceries, diners, and bars that we found in town and before we know it 2 zeros have turned into 5. This time in Damascus fate has conspired against us to cause us to set an all-new record high of 6 zeros in a row. After 2 days of R&R (rowdiness and re-supply) in Damascus, VA all 4 of us were ready to head out of town when DigDug started vomiting and, in his words, peeing out of his ass. This is of course a condition that one cannot hike in and turned into a 48 hr setback. DigDug recovered fully and was able to eat again and we thought we were going to leave after a full 4 zeros when Wilson decided he would begin doing the same thing as DigDug. The next day Wonderboy, who has been section hiking with us since Trail Days, didn¢t even wait for Wilson to recover before he started in and here it is 6 zeros later. Oh well, hanging out at The Place and watching every single hiker we¢ve met thus far come and go we¢ve had a lot of alarmed reactions to our ever increasing downtime. Other hikers think we are at least handicapped and even doomed since we¢ve lost so much time already. This I can¢t understand. I don¢t see how we are in any worse shape than we started. Our packs are as light as they¢ve ever been and our stomachs equally as full. We are ready to go and truly motivated to make tracks. What confuses me as much as our lack of concern confuses others is that someone as charitable and fun loving as Miss Janet can tell a group of hikers that they don¢t need to leave today because there is free food and beer all night long at Sam¢s Gap and they leave anyway. You see, I wouldn¢t go back and trade our 18 zero days for the next 360 miles of trail in VA because I¢d be trading away friendships and memories with some of the greatest personalities on The Trail. I¢d be just fine keeping to our 5 days of hiking a week if it meant meeting others like Ronnie Haven in Franklin, NC; BaltimoreJack in Hot Springs, NC; Miss Janet, Paddler and FishinFred in Erwin, TN; Bob Peoples at Kincora; or MountainMan, HopAlong, Pirate, and Crispy here in Damascus, VA. The rest of you hikers can keep making your miles and I¢ll keep making new friends. You see, the very best way to not make it to Maine is to not make any friends on the way. Besides, at the rate The Four Flavors are capable of moving when healthy I doubt if there is anyone we¢ve met that we won¢t be seeing again. That is, as long as they are still on the trail when we get there.