Date: 2004-10-13
From: Potaywadjo Lean-to

To: Rainbow Spring Campsite
Miles today: 22.0
Weather: clear sky

LEAVING HOMEThe autumn leaves surround me, as I contemplateHow for 7 months I¢ve looked on to this date Waiting for the joy that comes with trip¢s conclusion Yet the feelings I now feel, fill me with confusionFor so long it seemed so far; not to be attainedAnd yet I kept on walking through troubles & painAll to reach one goal, all to reach one climbBut I¢ve found the deepest pleasure here within this time More than I could ever hope, more than I could dreamAnd with 2 days left, I think that it does seem Maryland is not my home; this trail is instead And soon I must leave my home for a hard journey ahead. I wrote the above poem this morning as I thought about my waning time out here. I let Sunshine sleep in to recover from last night¢s madness and I walked about the shelter. The morning seemed uncharacteristically warm and the wind was settled. The sun shown through the fluorescent orange of the trees and I sat by a crystal clear pool of water flowing from a stream. That¢s when it hit me: as much as I love my family and friends this trail truly is my home. It will be hard to leave and face the adventures ahead.By the time I roused Sunshine and we packed, we were leaving at 11 a.m. again¢¦doh! Less than a half mile in we took a small side trail to a rock-filled late. Across the water on the horizon, towering high, stood the mountain I¢ve longed to see for months: Katahdin. It was so big, so close, and so attainable. As I stared at its awesome shape feelings welled within me. I almost cried. I cannot believe that I¢ve made it. I cannot believe this is ending.Sunshine and I separately strolled. I walked the shore of a meandering river and enjoyed the wall of gold around me. I prayed and sang. I took a nap on the trail-side and rested. All day I took in beauty and took my time. I thought of the morning¢s poem as I strolled around a gorgeous lake, and there I cried. I cannot describe the immense emotion connected to both completing this journey and re-entering life outside the trail. My first ten miles were slow and introspective. It was 4 p.m. when I hit the shelter 10 miles in. There is something about being lost in God¢s creation and crying alone that is so exhausting. It is also cleansing to an extent. It is the closest thing I have felt to going on a walk with God. As I arrived at the shelter I was tired, on an emotional high, and recovering from a good cry. Furthermore, I was starving hungry and down to 1 Reeses¢s bar for the last 12 miles. Thank goodness for the section hiker who greeted me as I removed my pack. ¢Charlie¢ was out to do the 100 mile wilderness and is new to hiking. He riddled me with questions about the trail ahead, gear, and weight. I answered as best I could and began to tell him of my hike. I was almost too choked up to speak as I told him how God has carried me all the way to this point. Charlie told me he liked rap so I beatboxed for him. He was stunned at my beats and we sat and talked more. Not only did we have a nice conversation, but he gave me food I desperately needed. He gave me soup, a bagel, soup mix for later, and oatmeal. I may only have 2 days left, but I love people you meet on the trail :-).It was about an hour before Sunshine rolled in. He explained he had been compelled to stop at so many spots of perfect autumn tranquility that he simply could not be any quicker. I told him it was alright and said goodbye to Charlie. It was 5:30 p.m. as we left for our final 12 miles. We knew we would yet again be pushing deep into the night. Our first 2 miles were a mountain called Nesuntebunt. It was as hard to climb as it is to pronounce. Though only about 1,500 feet up, it winded up a rough rocky slope almost 1,000 feet. It well-appearing though, but I pushed without stopping. When it became rough I focused on the climb I will have in 2 days¢¦suddenly Nesuntebunt was not too bad. After one last push past mossy rock I stood atop the little mountain and breathed in as night settled. I know 10 more miles would be exhausting, but I also knew God would be with me. As I finished a short prayer I arrived at the top. Where as earlier today I cried in reflection and closeness to God, tonight I cried due to a sheer struggle with the night. My headlamp has consistently been fading in the 2 previous nights and was now very ill-fitted to my purposes. Both Sunshine and I wanted sleep so much, yet knew what we must do. The trail went down 3 miles to a lake only to go back up 3 miles. That entire 6 miles was full of mud, slick rocks, and roots. We staggered along, slipped on everything, beat up our feet and just trudged onward. We were both so tired that we barely spoke, but nothing needed to be said.Let me be clear that within our struggle we were touched by moonlit pond and night¢s star show, but we were hurting. At one point Sunshine did not think he could make it past the shelter 4 miles short of our goal. I prayed for both of us, and our feet. God did not miraculously transport us to the campsite, but we both picked up. Without a word Sunshine kept walking past the shelter. 4 flat miles and we would be 21 miles from Katahdin¢s base. The last 4 were still rooty and tough but we did not stop. We talked about the shock, we talked about the beauty, we talked about the disbelief. At near 1 a.m. we made it. 69 miles in 3 days, 30 in the night. Wow! Sunshine¢s tent is still soaked so I let him use mine. I set up my sleeping bag under the night sky and fell asleep under radiant majesty. I hope I never forget how big my God is when I return home and leave the comfort of this trail. One song has been in my head today as I have been touched by the beauty, stunned by a long awaited goal so close, and carried by God one step at a time through the night. Tonight it will be my bedtime lullaby. The song is entitled ¢Step By Step¢ by Rich Mullins.Verse 1: Sometimes the night was beautiful         Sometimes the sky seemed so far away         Sometimes it seemed too steep so close         You could touch it but your heart would break         Sometimes the morning came to soon          Sometimes the day can be so hot         There¢s so much work left to do         But so much you¢ve already done.Chorus: Oh God, you are my God        And I will ever praise you           Oh God you are my God        And I will ever praise you        I will seek you in the morning         And I will learn to walk in your ways        And Step by Step you lead me         And I will follow you all of my daysVerse 2: Sometimes I think of Abraham           How one star he saw had been meant for me           He was a stranger in this land           And I am that no less than he           And on this road to righteousness            Some times the climb can be so steep           I may falter in my step            But never beyond your reach¢¦ (chorus)I know that step by step I¢ve made it out here through literal mountains. I know how much I¢ve been picked up. As I think of the mountain ahead of me, both of Katahdin and my later journey, I know I must walk step by step. I know I will falter and I know he will be there to pick me up. Yet again tonight I¢m crying. I¢m so blessed. Goodnight,BEATBOX   ttt