Date: 2010-09-09
From: Logan Brook Lean-to

To: Joe Mary Rd
Miles today: 15.4

Pretty freaking cold last night. Tree and Hotfoot woke up complaining about it. They¢re using 45 degree bags with silk liners. Rock¢n¢Roll and Cowgirl wake up bitching at one another. It¢s pretty funny. She was fusing about having to move his smelly socks for him because he left them nearby. She claims he has the smelliest feet of all. I disagree and suggest she compare all of our shoes just to make sureI thought I¢d take it easy today because I wasn¢t sure how far I¢d walk. I realized it¢s 11.7 miles to Cooper Lean-to. That¢s not hard¢¦but it¢s more than I expected to do today.Hotfoot, Tree and I talk about saying goodbye and I feel choked up. How I feel about these friends is completely unexpected. Never did I think I¢d meet people that would feel like family. I hoped to feel that way¢¦and I do. I still didn¢t expect that to actually happen. For the last few days I¢ve taken note of the last time I¢d do certain things with them. Last night we all discussed in the waning sunlight what we were going to miss. Tree said last night that he was going to miss ¢doing this¢ as he stuffed himself with ramen noodles in a circle of friends. I¢ll miss, ¢Eating together in a circle at the end of the day¢, said Tree. When I get home¢¦I think I¢ll feel more lonely than out here in the wilderness. We really are like a family.We pack up our crap and a sense of dread fills my heart. There¢s a lump in my throat when we start walking. The trail is kind to us and the grade of difficulty is less than all of Maine so far. It¢s so close to being over now! No more challenges, just the icing on the cake remains. There¢s a part of me that wishes I could finish with my all of my hiking buddies. I hope the weather is nice for them. We all wish Stretcher were here.We stop at East Brooke lean-0to and Cowgirl is already there. She¢s staring into her food bag with a concerned expression on her face. She¢s unsure if she¢ll make it to Abol for resupply. Their miles per day plan isn¢t going to allow them to take a side trip into White House Landing for the burger. I feel sorry for my friends¢¦as I shovel mouth fulls of peanut butter. I feel guilty and consider sharing. Instead of asking if I should give them my food¢¦I ask, ¢Would you guys assume that someone is actually going to pick me up tomorrow at the road?¢ They don¢t realize that¢s code for¢¦Maybe, I¢ll give you some of my food! They said, ¢No¢ but I wasn¢t thinking of my stomach, but theirs. Hotfoot is starting to think he¢s not going to starve and he¢s relieved a little.All this worrying and planning makes me thankful I don¢t have one. I don¢t have to summit on the 17th. If the weather sucks¢¦I can wait. Tree and Hotfoot have no choice¢¦they¢ve called their parents and it¢s set in stone¢¦or so it seems. It seems odd to me to come this far and then rush to the climax. I want to savor it. Relish the closing drama. Have one more adventure. I¢m not tired of this by no means. If anything I¢m addicted to this life I¢ve lived for months now. I still believe the more you rush through it, the less fun you have.One tiny 2000 foot mountain and the fight is all over from here. Tree¢s flying and Hotfoot can barely keep up. Rock¢n¢Roll is no where to be seen. The trail is flat enough to rollerblade on it now. When people say the 100 Mile Wilderness is easy¢¦they must be referring to the last 64.3 miles.We pass Crawford pond and I scan the shorelines for the tall hairy beast with horns that has eluded me so far. I see places like this and think¢¦this is where I¢d hang out if I were a Moose. I wonder if I¢d have seen a Moose by now if I were hiking alone. I could be walking slowly at my own pace but here I am¢¦rushing to stay with a group of friends. The way they make me laugh makes it worth the effort and cost of hiking in a group. The family feeling is something I¢m unaccustomed to in real life.We get to Cooper Brook Falls lean-to and it¢s beautiful!!! The shelter faces a really nice swimming hole and waterfall. What a great place to stay! Tree and Hotfoot take off their shoes so I¢m relieved that they¢re going to stay for a while. It¢s early. They¢ve realized that they can make up time on this flat ground. Hotfoot does one more Cosmic brownie inventory check and announces that he can have one now¢¦and still have one each day for lunch until the 12th! We don¢t talk much. The river is roaring below us, and I can fell the tension building. Those sideways glances you give someone when you think you¢ll never see someone again. I realize that I¢m 30 and they¢re 23 years old. I¢ve done the math, this might be it for us.Pony was at the shelter last night. I¢m glad I got to see him the last couple days. I remember him singing ¢Stand By Me¢ for the last couple of nights at camp. When Backwards and Conan sang along just outside of Stratton¢¦I hummed the bases do who background part. It¢s really starting to feel like that movie out here. The summer of our entire lives. The time in our lives that we¢ll always look back on with deep emotions. I can already see the fields, streams, vistas, mountains, and railroad tracks fading to black and white. All the songs we¢ve sung ringing in my ears with fading echos.The way I feel sitting here in Cooper Brook lean-to watching them packing up¢¦is like someone surprising you from behind and putting their hand over my mouth. I can¢t breathe and it makes me fell panicky. My heart sinks like a rollercoaster ride from the sensation. It¢s like someone holding your mouth shut¢¦and you forget that you can breathe through your nose.Tree and Hotfoot stand up. I can tell Tree¢s upset a little. We don¢t talk much before Tree says, ¢Well...¢, with his hand out in front of me. ¢It¢s been fun. We¢ll see you again man. Good luck and have a happy birthday on Katahdin!!¢ Tree says, as I shake his hand.¢I¢ll be thinking about you guys on the 13th¢ I say.Hotfoot sticks out his hand and says, ¢It¢s been great hiking with you!¢¢Thanks¢ I say. ¢It¢s been awesome, and, and, and an honor¢ I stumble out.The two of them do what we do¢¦and walked away.My eyes feel heavy and sad. All I want to do is keep walking, but I have to wait until they¢re gone. Rock¢n¢Roll and Cowgirl stick around a little longer. He wants me to come stay in Kentucky and go to the Derby.When they leave, I¢m all alone. I distract myself by journaling but I can¢t think clearly. I¢ve learned that no matter wat, walking makes things better. IT clears my mind and makes me feel like I have something to do besides wallow in the past.I decided to walk to the rendezvous point tonight and camp by the road. I pack up and before I¢m done putting my things back together¢¦I¢m already feeling good again. Life goes on! There¢s still more miles to go! The campsite I find is close to the road and by a stream. I¢m glad there¢ll be noise to drown out my racing mind tonight. The river always puts me to sleep! I sti on a rock by the bridge and write in the fading daylight. Pretty soon a guy named ¢Spaz¢ comes walking south. He started on May 24th and had to flip flop to make it. For some reason I feel even better after talking to him briefly. I guess it reminded me of the Spaz I met in Franklin, NC. The tables have turned¢¦Now Skippy¢s almost done¢¦and Spaz has further to go. I guess the road goes on. Someone can be your friend if you open up and let them. If you hang around long enough, you might become their friend too! You can find family in your friends, if you just take the time.