Date: 2015-07-21
From: Clarendon Shelter

To: Gifford Woods State Park
Miles today: 19.5
Weather: moderate rain

Today was a day of landmarks.The first landmark was sad. Just after the trail crossed a road and headed back into the woods, it hung a sharp left. But at the corner, right smack in front of me, a sign was nailed to a tree. I felt like I had been slapped. "KATAHDIN" it read. Underneath: "500 MILES"It was like being socked in the gut with my full food bag (hefty!) I had forgotten that the -500 mile mark was to be crossed today. Despite my first inclination to burst into tears of mixed regret, disbelief, and relief (only a tiny bit of this last one) and curl up into a turtle ball (Gertrude being my green shell) on the side of the trail, weeping inconsolably into the blanket of needles, I just took a picture and moved sadly on.So now I have LESS than 500 miles left to travel north. Actually, from this park, where I am camped tonight, Katahdin is only 485.2 miles away. As always, this makes me sad. Sometimes I just want to go home. I want to curl up in my bed and be warm and dry. But I also don't want the journey to be over. I love Katahdin. I yearn for it. But I don't know if I will be ready for it when I get there. I know that once I summit it, I will ache to be back on the trail again.The day started with a climb up to Killington peak. That's a landmark! It was a huge mountain. I thought the climb would kill me (it looked so imposing on the elevation profile in the guidebook), but it wasn't bad. It was nice and easy and gradual at the bottom. Farther up, I had to go slow, picking my way through messes of rocks and roots and branches, testing my weight before committing to a step so I didn't slip and fall and roll down the mountainside and impale my eyeball on one of those sharp, dry branches.It was a good climb. Towards the top, the green tunnel opened up a bit and the sky dazzled blue and brilliant above. Sometimes I go for such a long time without seeing much sky. It peeks through the trees during the day, but often the green tunnel is so thick that I forget just how vast it is, how blue and impressive and BIG. I felt very small up there on the top of that mountain.Also, near the end of today's hike, I passed Maine Junction. The AT and the Long Trail split and part ways there. I am no longer hiking a double trail. Goodbye, LT hikers!I passed another interesting section of trail today, too. Not a landmark, but out of the ordinary. There was one stretch where there were dozens of downed trees. Huge trees, ripped up out of the ground by some mythical force. It was shocking how many of them there were, like a giant had just taken a swing and knocked them down like bowling pins.The trail was torn up, and wound around and over trunks. It was like they had all toppled over like dominoes, each crashing down into the next, then into the next.It was strange but wondrous. Those poor trees. Was it the work of a storm or a supernatural being?In other news...I made some serious mistakes today. Serious.First, I pitched my tent when I arrived at the park (Gifford Woods State Park in Killington, tonight's home). It is now pouring. Wet tent, ugh! Although I guess if the rain continues until bedtime, it won't have been a mistake. Better a wet tent than having to pitch a tent during a downpour, maybe.It is POURING! Really pouring. It just keeps coming down. The road is a river and everywhere is a puddle. I hope my tent isn't in a puddle. I have sequestered myself in the bathroom (I TOOK A SHOWER!) to wait out the rest of the wet. Also there is an outlet, so I can charge my phone a little. It is very near dead.Related is mistake #2. When packing up my pajamas and soap for my bathroom trip, I forgot my freaking toiletry bag. With my razor. Ughhhh. So my legs are still hairy. This is not an insignificant oversight. I really like having smooth legs.After scrubbing myself clean, I headed back towards my tent to get said blessed amazing razor of hairlessness. And then the downpour resumed. I squatted down under my umbrella outside of my tent, trying to wait it out. But the rain pounded down to the ground in angry torrents, splashing up at me, spattering my legs with dirt. I did not want a wet butt. I wanted to keep my clothes dry. I JUST WANT TO BE DRY FOR LIKE ONE DAY, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!I gave up and went back to the bathroom, where I had left my phone charging. I didn't want to open my tent and retrieve my razor, because I knew everything would just get soaked. Not worth it.So instead I ordered a pizza. When I got to the park office to request a campsite ($5 for hikers, yay!) and get quarters for the shower, I asked if any restaurants would deliver. For most of the afternoon, as I headed down the mountain, my paunchy tummy oozing over my hip belt, I debated whether to ask this question. I don't need pizza. I need a diet.But as I hiked, and hiked, and climbed up that last incline which was way steeper than it should have been, my mindset shifted from "I am so disgustingly chubby." to "I climbed a huge frigging mountain today and this is the only time in my life I will have the excuse to do this and I am so hungry and this hill sucks and I DON'T EVEN CARE ANY MORE IF I BECOME ROTUND."Plus I had pizza money from Carol and Eddie and a secret cash stash from my pizza fairy burning inside Gertrude. Those bills were just calling to me through her salty, sweat-soaked fabric.... "Pizza, Red Panda. Use us on pizza! We want to be free to roam the country, so free us from this nasty pack and put us back into circulation!"I didn't argue with my insane imaginings. I just bought a pizza, because I was hungry. Also because I needed to soothe my depressed heart, aching over the fact that Katahdin grows closer and closer.Tonight, I am sleeping on my Thermarest, like a lifeboat keeping me afloat and insulated from the soaked earth. The walls of my tent are damp, the floor becoming saturated. Hopefully the rain will stop and it won't all be soaked in the morning.I am thankful for pizza, a cute little park to pitch my cute little tent in, and the fact that I have a cute little tent to keep me dry.I plan on getting up early to shave my legs. I still have $1.25 left in shower quarters! They are so heavy! I must spend them!I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful that my family is well. I am thankful that I am alone. Sometimes I really need that.