Date: 2006-03-23
From: Gatlinberg, TN

To: Pecks Corner Shelter
Miles today: 10.4
Weather: broken clouds

Total Non-Sequitur: By far, The Running Man is the best B-Movie of all time.That said, this was absolutely my worst day on the trail. I fell 5 times on sheer ice. The shin splints and pain from my pack were intense and continuous.The day started with promise. I got an early hitch about 5 mins after I held up my "New Found Gap" sign. There were almost no cars at 6:00 am., but the 3rd one by picked me up. He was going to the Gap to take morning pictures. It was beautiful. The Smokies are beautiful.I started early to catch Tree Frog and Show Me at Ice Water Spring. I would have made it if the trail wasn't solid with ice. I had to crawl at a snail's pace, picking each placement for foot and poles. Even so, I fell a couple of times. Yesterday was icey and I had to go slowly but this was different. The ice was thicker and smoother from a day's melting and refreezing and today I actually had a goal and a time to be somewhere. When I got to the shelter the 2 breakers from Alabama Show Me and Tree Frog had left 20 mins earlier. With these conditions I knew there was no way to catch them. I wanted to give Tree Frog his Snickers and the $3 he'd lent me for laundry. I'm starting to feel like the trail mooch.As I picked my way at an even slower pace, the shin splints kicked in. Pain with every footstep. The first 4 miles to Ice Water Springs were slow, but the next 6 took the rest of the day. I'd hoped to catch the other guys when they stoppped for lunch, but there was no way to do it safely. So I lost them. Out here you can lose people as quickly as you find them. I also came off looking like a scavenger after they'd lent me money and given me munchies.The pain in my left leg became severe and worse with the dangerous trail conditions. I was completely losing heart. When the back pain kicked in, there was nothing to do but suffer and move on.I cursed the outfitter at NOC who convinced me I needed a new belt. It's even worse than the first. The pack slides down my butt immediately. All the weight is on my shoulders and back instead of my hips.Between the pack, the shin splints and the ice, I thought seriously about quitting the trail. There is no way I can make it to Maine with this kind of back pain. Just making it to the shelter was agony.I started singing and talking to myself to keep my mind on something else. Hate to say it, but the song "Where are you going?" from Godspell is a great walking song, beautiful too. Not so beautiful when I sing it.My conversation with myself was not so uplifting. It was mostly cursing, screaming, and oaths against the ice, my pack and me for being so slow. At first I thought I could wince through it and make hte 12 miles to Tri Corner Knob. I eventually accepted that 6 was the best I could do. 6 has been an easy number until today. Usually I never even think of 6 as a challenge. Ten is hardly a challenge these days. Today was different.I changed the tone of my monologue for a while. I told myself I knew from the start that there would be days of misery. I talked about the goal at the end of the trip being worth the suffering. I reasoned that I had to do what I've been doing all along: find a solution to the immediate problem and move on. It worked. Instead of screaming at myself, I kept my mind on all of the things I have learned so far. That I'm even here is a testament to fortitude and resolve, I said. I honestly said that I've never worked this hard for anything in my life. And this is work, work with many rewards, but incredibly hard work. I also said that plenty of people face ten times worse every day and that what I am doing is completely voluntary. Also, noone really benefits from this work but me and I want it so bad. I can't quit. I can find ways to make it better and remember that there are more great days ahead and more miserable ones too.This strategy had an effect for a while. So did giving in to accepting only reaching the next shelter up the line. I threw my pack down a couple of times to eat and enjoy the views. I also took a couple of pictures. Even with this much pain, the views are spectacular. Too bad I'm in one of the most beautiful parks in the country but I can't wait to get out. I know from reputation that the Smokies are a challenge and ever vicious. Now I know first hand.Eventually my pep talk ran out of steam. I just started yelling, screaming and cursing with every step. I heard my voice echoing off the otherwise beautiful mountains.Several times I had to control my fear. The trail runs atop some sheer drops, nothing to your right side but air and North Carolina. This usually is more of a thrill than a fear factor, but with trail conditions and physical limitations I was pretty damn scared. I looked at nothing but the trail beneath my feet and chose every single step.Finally, when I thought the hike would never be over, I found the shelter. Food, water, sleep. 5 more showed up eventually. Carly and Swanson, the two breakers and Jim the ridge runner are here. Jim's staying the night and gave us official weather reports. There is a high elevation storm warning. 8 inches of snow and freezing rain until tomorrow. Everyone else is making a grand push to get out of here. They're up to the challenge. Like me, they have the total love/hate relationship with this part of the trail. I have a choice between 5 and 12 miles tomorrow. I'd love to be out of here, but think the 5 is much safer and more realistic.I went out at midnight and there is already 3 inches of snow. I've been talking about it. Well, here it is. Tired. Back hurts, need more sleep.