Date: 2010-07-17
From: Congdon Shelter

To: Story Spring Shelter
Miles today: 23.3
Weather: few clouds

I slept like a log last night. I didn't hear anyone's snoring (although there must have been a lot with 8 people in the shelter). I forgot to mention that I met EZ hiker. I had read his journal before starting and he said that his ex boss is reading my journal because his daughter is also called Kirstin. Hi to EZ Hiker's ex boss!It poured again, so I was happy to be dry and warm in the shelter. I'm sure my tent would hold up but I never feel like testing it, or having to pack a wet dirty tent. I had a steep descent to a road through big rocks. I felt like I was going to fall several times. I missed Fat Finger too. We had a good time together and now I'm all alone. When I got to the road, Landfill (a thru hiker who had been at the shelter with me)'s mother, sister and friends were setting up trail magic for him and other hikers. I felt so depressed that I only took a sanitizer tissue and a mini Peanut Butter Cup. Not like me to say no to sandwiches, chips, drinks, fruit and just about every food hikers crave. I wanted to go to Bennington, a town 5 miles down the road to perhaps leave the trail for good. However I didn't want to hitch, so I continued on my way. Depression rolled over me like a black wave. I've never really had cause to be depressed in my life but now I know how it feels. I sat on a log and wanted to cry. I hated the trail and I was sick of walking. I thought about my options if I stopped. 1. Most of my family would be in Australia, so I could go there for a few weeks but it's winter and I didn't fancy cold weather and also the air ticket would be too expensive. 2. I could get a cheap lodging in the south of France (that's an oxymoron in itself) but I'd just sit around eating French cheese and wine and spoil all my healthy walking and I'd be alone. Finally I realised that the trail was still my preferred choice of spending the next month. So I thought I'd get off at the first opportunity and take as many zeros as I needed to motivate myself. Once the plan was made, I felt better. Vermont is known by hikers as Vermud. I found out why today. Yikes, the trail didn't exist any more, it was just mud! There were rocks in strategic places to hop across but sometimes the rocks sunk into the mud. Once my entire right foot was submerged. It's a horrible feeling to have the cold watery mud penetrate your shoe, into the sock then onto your bare skin. I have quick drying shoes however so it wasn't a real problem. Another time I slipped and fell into the mud. Luckily I only had a hand and a knee covered in mud. Around 2pm, my day brightened. The mud dried up in the sun and the trail was very beautiful with pine trees and good views. I realised that without knowing it, I had started to enjoy myself again! No town stops for me! Alpine the hiking machine is back! I had a great afternoon and arrived at the shelter at 700pm. I found a lovely spot for my tent and got another lump in my throat putting it up. I only needed one tent site this time, as Fat Finger is gone. Still, there was good company at the shelter and I had a nice dinner with the other hikers. Tomorrow I have a nice pond to look forward too. I'm glad I feel better. And before I receive any snarky comments on my guestbook, these comments are made for my family and friends primarily, then for anyone else interested in my adventures. I'm not keeping any other journal, so I put all my thoughts in this one. I want a reminder of the hard times as well as the good times I go through. Also I think some thru hikers don't fully let people know how hard things can be at times on the trail.