Date: 2015-10-12
To: Home
Miles today: 0.0
Weather: clear sky

During the Hike, Part 2 of 2The halfway point came and went and the next milestone, to me, was making it home to see everyone back in Connecticut. I only had about 500 miles to get home, and it would mark two ¢thirds of the trail completed. So, I hiked on. I had already hiked through Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia and it was just Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York and then my home state of Connecticut. Miles 1,000 through 1,200 went by pretty quickly¢¦despite the rocks in Pennsylvania. Many say they hate Pennsylvania because of the rocks. I entirely agree with that statement! I couldn¢t enjoy any views because I was so focused on looking down and not tripping over rocks. Yet, I put in my largest mile days. Go figure!Miles 1,200 ¢ 1,500 felt like forever. I remember getting to a set of powerlines and specifically telling Giuseppe, ¢Only 300 miles left to Connecticut.¢ Those 300 miles felt so long. All I wanted to do was see everyone back home. I would count down days and miles to go. I did a ¢banking¢ system. I would figure out the miles I had left to get to the border, divide it by the number of days I¢d like to make it there, get that number and use it as my baseline. It was something like 15 miles or so. Then, any day I would hike beyond 15 miles would be miles in the ¢bank¢. Every 15 miles I banked, meant one less day until I reached home. It was really helpful and really motivational.I made it home June 7th, earlier than I ever thought I ever though. I said to Nikki even before I left, ¢I¢m only going to stay two days¢. I didn¢t want to lose the people around I knew. Despite many familiar faces on the trail, there were specific hikers I enjoyed camping with. So, I stayed at home for the two days and they were extremely busy; Nikki¢s birthday , running to REI, seeing my family, friends, coworkers, resupply, laundry, etc. It wasn¢t the restful time I was expecting it to be but it was really nice to see everyone.I had 699.1 miles left from Connecticut until Katahdin and I was starting to get ¢Katahdin Fever¢. I could now see the goal I¢ve been working so hard to obtain closer than ever. I got back on the trail and hiked through Connecticut and into Massachusetts and Vermont. It was July, and I as I kept hiking north the rain kept going. It was the rainiest June (in Vermont) in over 100 years. That meant hiking in the rain, being damp when I put on my dry clothes to sleep in, waking up and putting on my wet clothes, hiking in the rain, etc.. Its part of the experience though. You take the good with the bad. But now, I was starting not to enjoy the hike anymore. The hike wasn¢t as enjoyable not because of the rain, but because I hiked by myself. See, I¢d get up and hike earlier than others because I hate getting into camp late. Since I¢m on the trail earlier I don¢t see other hikers. Sometimes I hike longer days and I rarely take a break more than 15 minutes, I would see very few other hikers unless I would pass them. It really became boring. I can tell you that after I got to New York (Bear Mountain Zoo, where the trail literally goes through), I literally hiked by myself every single day. I hiked over 700 miles by myself (until NH for 3 days, and I¢ll tell you about that) everyday. So, plan on walking 10-12 hours a day by yourself, only see people in passing or at camp, not have anyone to share frustrations or excitement with, and you can see how it would get old. I really enjoyed camp because there would always be some people to see and talk to. But the monotony and loneliness of the day were the toughest. I just wasn¢t having a good time anymore.I was in Vermont when it got bad. I was no longer focused on my goal and my attitude was negative. It¢s a really big change from what it¢s been on this trip and my normal attitude in daily life. I was bored, I was lonely, and I didn¢t know what to do. I just knew that what I was doing wasn¢t working. I figured I needed to take a couple zeros (days off) since I had only taken 5 until that point (now about 1,700 miles). But if I took a couple zeros in town, rested my body, ate some food, it still wouldn¢t be helpful to my mental well-being. It¢s true, the trail is 90% mental. I didn¢t know what to do and I was now in Rutland, VT.From Rutland, I live only three hours away. I am so very fortunate to have been able to take a few days to go home and refocus. Now, I took a couple days and it didn¢t matter if the people around me moved on. It was my hike and I wasn¢t hiking with anyone anyway. Taking those days were the best things that happened to me. It was so very important to stop, regroup, refocus when I hit a roadblock. Once I took those couple days, it was GAME ON!Taking time was so important because I finally had people to have real conversations with. It was something I didn¢t know I desperately needed. It¢s true, you need a support system wherever you are, whatever you are doing. I didn¢t have that on trail so I used everyone back home. Thank you.I enjoyed the trail again! It was refreshing! It was great to be back! I hiked on and I knew that in just a few hundred miles I¢d see my cousin Adam (technically Nikki¢s cousin but mine now too!) and Stretch. Stretch met me in Glencliff, NH and it was absolutely fantastic to see him again. I had not seen him in over 1,500 miles and we again hiked in the White Mountains together. Adam came up a couple days later and we hiked more of the White Mountains. I hadn¢t seen him since Christmas. Both visits were true highlights of the trip.My head was in the game and I enjoyed the final leg of the trip. I enjoyed the rain once again, I enjoyed the terrain, I enjoyed the solitude, I enjoyed the views, I enjoyed it all. I think what I really enjoyed was the feeling of accomplishment to this point. I walked for months, for 100¢s and even 1000¢s of miles, I have made it further than the 1000¢s of people who have or will try it in 2015. I was on cloud nine.The final miles of this trip were filled with excitement and sadness. The excitement came from knowing I was almost there. The days and months of difficult miles, the miles of difficult weather, the nights of sleeplessness, the months of difficultly¢¦they were almost over. I was excited to be able to see my goal getting ever so close, literally with each footstep. It was sad in a way, however. Despite the joy of my hike, I knew that this time on the trail was quickly coming to an end. The people I met along the way, from five minute encounters on the trail to hours of hanging out at camp or at a hostel, it was near the end. I was excited to go home and see Nikki, my family and friends, but I knew this may be my only opportunity to experience the Appalachian Trail in one solid journey.The night before summiting, I remember just saying over and over ¢This is so weird¢. Tomorrow morning meant life would be forever different. The physical and mental journey on trail would be over but a new physical and mental journey lie beyond the trail. I just don¢t know what it is. But it was just unfathomable to think that I wouldn¢t be with the people I have met every day or camped with for weeks. I would never be in as good of physical condition as I am. I would never be so humbled as I had been.Throughout this journey I had compared myself to other hikers. I felt more prepared than many others out there, I had hiked at a steady pace, I was beating the pace I had anticipated for a year prior. However, I compared myself to other faster hikers. I always, daily, felt like I SHOULD be going faster. I was pleased with my pace and many people I met said I was ¢doing really well¢ but it only mattered what I though. Seriously, I thought I could be better and I know now I could have done better. I guess I am not fully satisfied.I don¢t have a college degree. Nope. Sorry. But to use it as an analogy, some school students are never satisfied with their grades. A 3.9 GPA isn¢t good enough. I felt that way on the trail too. The mileage I did was never enough. I should be faster. I can¢t compare myself to other hikers like Sycamore, who is just a monster and has hiked 9,000 miles, but I compare myself to other hikers doing 30 mile days. I always felt like I SHOULD be doing those miles. Is it that I can¢t? Is it that I don¢t want to? Why aren¢t I doing those? It was frustrating then, it is frustrating now even.I put those thoughts to the side on my day to summit Katahdin. The mileage, the pace, the weather, the struggles all did not matter now. It just mattered that I make it the few miles to the top. That, I did. Life has forever changed.My final, Post Trail entry shall follow soon.