Date: 2015-07-28
From: Concrete milepost

To: Mt Cube Sugar Farm
Miles today: 14.4
Weather: broken clouds

Red Panda is sorry to be the bearer of bad news today.I have been having a rough time lately. I have been struggling to readjust to the trail after taking days off to spend with friends and family. More and more often, I have been considering the option of getting off the trail. I am tired. My legs scream at me as I attempt to make it up hills. My chafing private areas hurt and I am sick of it. I am always muddy and grubby and it is disgusting.So, the bad news...Is that I did NOT get to see a moose today.Did I have you going? Probably not. All that other stuff is mostly true, too, but we'll get to that.I saw more moose scat today. My heart would leap with excitement every time I spotted a cluster of round little brown balls. I also got really excited a few times, seeing steaming piles in the distance. "FRESH POOP?!" I thought, psyched that it might be a sign of a nearby majestical beast. No such luck, of course. There wasn't any fresh poop. Every time, it was just steam rising from a log sitting in a patch of sunlight, saturated after last night's rain (the thunder started right about the time I crawled into my tent).I did hear some very large animals crashing around in the woods trying to get away from me at one point, but I think it is more likely that they were bear, not moose. Oh well. Maybe in Maine...Today was really eventful. At least it feels like it was.I woke up a mess. Basket Case Red Panda was on the rampage. I didn't want to get out of bed (I mean, throw off my sleeping bag). I didn't want to pack up my tent. I didn't want to change into my gross hiking clothes. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to go home and crawl into my real bed with a real mattress and soft blanket and hibernate.But my real bed is hundreds of miles away now. And Katahdin is waiting. So I dragged my bulky butt out of bed and packed up. And I hiked.And I was miserable. It seemed like an impossible climb up Smarts Mountain. I struggled. I crawled. I slipped on rocks and cursed in frustration. I called my mom and said, "I don't know why I'm having so much trouble lately. I don't know if it's the food and the weight gain, or if it's just because I'm tired, or if it's the mountains." And I tried to suck it up. I told her that I really am okay, which is the truth, and that I am looking forward to getting a hug soon, because I really need one. Or fifty. Gotta get those hugs while I can, and bank the extra.After a while, the trail evened out. I drank some Powerade and felt better. I slogged along through the mud, the sun beaming through the leaves and trunks ahead of me. As I reached higher elevations and those conifers I love, I started to feel better. Like always, it just takes a while.I really have been having trouble lately, and I hope that it is only because I keep getting thrown out of rhythm by taking days off and eating too much (I never learn my lesson). After mom and Dan visit, I won't have any opportunities (as far as I know) for more visits with friends and family, which may be a good thing, since I will be focused on the hike.I hate feeling like I want it to be over. I am on what is probably the greatest adventure of my life, and it is wearing me down. That's part of why I took a short day today. I tried to remember why I am here and tried to get the most out of it. I tried to enjoy it, even the miserable uphill parts.Today my mom told me a good story. She went to pick up the remains of trail magic that she left out the other day, and found a hiker who asked her about renting a car.He was a southbound biker, coming from Maine, and he had decided that he'd had enough. The bugs were bad, and the mountains were rough, and he just didn't want to hike any more. So she brought him into town so he could rent a car and drive home.I am glad I am not that guy. At this point, although I definitely feel like sleeping 94% of the time, I still don't think I will give up. As miserable as I am sometimes, I am still having a great time on the trail.At the same time, I have a lot of respect for the guy. Why should you do something you don't enjoy? Why force yourself to be unhappy when you can just go home? It's not failure to quit a thru-hike attempt. It's a learning experience and an eye opener. I have just as much respect for people who know when to stop as I do for those who push on.However, DON'T LET ME QUIT!Anyway, back to the hike... On my way down Smarts Mountain, I passed a hiker who warned me of a stretch of mud ahead which had some misleading bog logs. In serious patches of mud, people toss rocks and logs into the mess to try and make a navigable route. Unfortunately, rocks and bog logs sometimes just make more of a confusing mess. Just because a log looks sturdy, that doesn't mean it won't sink down a foot once a hiker's weight is on it.My acquaintance advised that I trail blaze around the northern innavigable swampy patch. I thanked him and kept an eye out. And I am very glad that I had the warning, because I probably would have ended up sinking in mud to my waist. A section of log, looking very sturdy indeed, was FLOATING in water, not just mud. I might have trucked right on through if I hadn't been aware and paying attention. So today I am thankful for warnings from the north.After getting back in the swing of things, he second mountain of the day (Mt. Cube) didn't seem quite as terrible. It was still a good climb, though. There were plenty of steep and slippery sections to slow me down.As I approached the summit, I passed by a gray-haired hiker slowly making his way up. When I asked how he was, he said "Better if I was at the top." I agreed with this sentiment before continuing on.I passed another hiker sitting and plucking blueberries from bushes near the top. I said hello and found a nice sunny spot on the exposed rocks to eat my lunch at. The view was wonderful. The weather was wonderful. Mountains spread out before me, and I wondered, "Did I climb that one? Or that one? Which way did I come from? Which way am I going next?"Just as I opened my book and started reading, blueberry man came over and plunked himself down near me. I felt my introvert heart sink a little, but smiled and greeted him, and talked about hiking. His name was Ray, and he was waiting for his friend Dave (the guy I had passed) to catch up. They were out for a week, section hiking to Glencliff, where they will head home from tomorrow.He sat with me as I ate and packed up Gertrude. Just as I was hoisting her up, Dave arrived. I made my exit, wishing them well on the rest of their hike. They seemed like a very nice pair of gentlemen. Dave, though even slower than I am heading uphill, had a wonderful attitude.Talking with Ray had distracted me from my lunchtime chores. I had wanted to dry my socks and call the Glencliff post office to forward my mail drop (no one answered when I finally had service to call). Oh well.I had to decide where to stay for the night. I could continue to the next campsite, or I could be my usual solitude-seeking self and attempt to find a stealth campsite near a water source.One more option was open to me as well. The Aussie Legs, wonderful speed demons that they are, keep sending suggestions of places to visit and stay back to those of us in the southern regions. They are about six days ahead of me at this point, and I have given up any hope of catching them. However, I appreciate their helpfulness. They told of Mt Cube Sugar Farm, which is 1.9 miles from the trail on route 25A.Normally, I would NOT take an early day to travel so far from the trial. However, I have been camping alone often lately, and I passed by Bill Ackerly's house last night because I needed to be alone (he gives out free ice cream and allows hikers to tent in his yard). So I figured that I needed to add some more adventure back into my hike, and take a risk, and try something new. Plus the Aussies promised a mattress, running water, and the possibility of morning pancakes. I admit that I was also tempted by the possibility of an outlet to charge my phone. I was hoping to call dad tonight, but of course I don't have service here.Anyway, I went for it! I hoped that the caretaker (who the guidebook says "makes frequent stops") would come by and give me permission to at least camp.When I got to the road and had to figure out which way to go (the appropriate page was buried in Gertrude), I met Captain K's wife! She was sitting outside of their camper, waiting for him. I was surprised. I thought Captain K would be days ahead of me at this point. She told me that he had problems with his foot swelling up and had taken quite a few days off. So maybe I will see Captain K again soon, too. The weird come and go of the trail strikes again...She also saw Coco and Magnus this morning. They are half a day behind me and catching up. Hooray! Hopefully I won't just lose them again when mom and Dan visit.Captain K is lucky to have someone to support him. I have seen his wife before, and their camper multiple times. It must be so nice to have a companion to go "home" to every night. At the same time, I'm kind of glad that I don't. I feel like I would miss out on too many aspects of the trail in a supported hike (like visiting the place that I am staying at tonight, for example). Plus, for me, a lot of the appeal is being able to camp at night. I do miss my family, though.So Captain K is very lucky. And I am, too! His awesome wife gave me a ride to the farm! I didn't have to walk two miles on the road! It was like fate. Red Panda was meant to end up lounging in the sugar house tonight.Upon my arrival, I took off my gross wet socks and laid them in the sun to dry while I waited for the caretaker. After a while, Jimmy, who works on the farm, drove the tractor up and invited me in to the sugar house, where I was welcome to stay. AWESOME. I have TWO bathrooms with hot water, and a kitchen, and there are old eggs in the fridge so I might be able to make pancakes in the morning (no milk... and I am not sure about pancake mix either...)I also find it very appropriate that I, sugar addict and M&M gobbling expert, am in a SUGAR HOUSE. Fantastic, right?! It is really cool to see the setup. Much more interesting than stealth camping! I wonder so much about the history of this place. They must have had pancake breakfasts here at one point. I wonder when the last one was. I want a pancake....Hopefully I will be able to get a ride back to the trail tomorrow. I really have no idea what I will do. I am close to Mt Moosilauke but am not sure if I want to make it part of a many-mile day. Another short day may make me stir crazy, though. It all depends on how I feel, and how long it takes me to get started tomorrow.I feel like a little old lady, ready for bed before the sunset. I do hope to get an early start tomorrow, though. I have no idea what my plan is. I never know anymore. This area is too confusing.I am thankful for a dry place to sleep and INCHES of mattress beneath me. I am thankful that I have time to read my book before sleep overtakes me (maybe I'll get more than ten pages in tonight!)I am thankful that my amazing parents - both of them - continue to distribute trail magic even in my absence. They have been buying and distributing snacks ever since the picnic. Good karma! I am thankful to come from amazing people.I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be here, in a stranger's sugar house, on an old mattress on a dirty floor. My life is amazing.