Date: 2003-08-28
From: Kent, CT

To: Silver Hill Campsite
Miles today: 10.1
Weather: scattered clouds

Toby and Rodent and I woke rather early this morning; the pastor last night told us we had to be out early because the janitorial crew was coming to clean. I crossed the street to use the payphone. One call was to Matt. He has been wanting to come out and hike with me ¢ wants to finish out the Trail with me, through September and into October, or however long I hike. I admitted to him that for the first time in my life I felt homesick, and my eyes welled up with tears. For Tennessee, of all places! For him and Steve, for a hike around the Biology Trail, for the Clouzets, for Chad¢s house and my old neighborhood, for Ebbe (my cat)! I really don¢t remember ever being homesick before. Even when I went away to school at age 14 I felt no twinge of homesickness. I warned Matt that I¢d been feeling burned out, and what if he got up to where I was and I didn¢t feel like hiking anymore? He said, ¢Well that won¢t happen, will it?¢ I hesitated, but chose No. He¢d arranged the time off work, and planned to drive up to his parents¢ in Maryland next Friday, then his parents would bring him to meet me next weekend. So something else to keep me going, to look forward to!When I returned to the church, Toby and Rodent were carrying their packs and mine out the front door. We went to a quaint little caf© and ordered breakfast, then headed over to the post office and to find the laundromat. Bushwhack and Bramble were already there and half-way done with their laundry. The laundromat is conveniently located across from both the post office and grocery store, so we all made our rounds. We also walked back out to the outfitters, leaving Bushwhack to watch the laundry. I bought some different water treatment stuff, and tried on several pairs of shoes before settling on a pair of Montrails (and new SuperFeet) just like Toby¢s. The people working in the store didn¢t seem to be all that knowledgeable or helpful, so mostly I looked to Toby for advice. (I don¢t mean to judge, but it did not escape my notice when I walked in the store that the woman behind the counter probably weighed close to 300 pounds¢¦) The shoes felt great in the store and on the way back to the laundromat. Always exciting to get something new like that! Despite my wanting to pitch the old Salomons last night, I put them in my box of stuff to send home and posted the warning on the front of the box, ¢Open immediately: smelly shoes inside!¢ Next chore was to find a shower. There was one outside of the next building over from the laundromat; I guess it used to be the outfitters, so it made sense for the shower to be there, but now the building is a museum or gift shop or something like that. It¢s just a bag of water that gets heated by the sun, with a hose attached, and a very flimsy curtain that didn¢t allow for very much privacy. Oh well, this is an adventure¢¦ My final errand was my string of phone calls I like to make whenever I get to town. Toby and Rodent were ready to leave, so we said goodbye. They are headed farther than I will go tonight with Bushwhack and Bramble. I think my eyes welled up with tears again as we said goodbye. They tried to be confident that I¢d catch up with them after the weekend, but I¢m pretty sure I won¢t. The shorter day today, combined with my Sabbath off, it¢s probably the last time I¢ll see them. Sad.Finally Bushwhack and Bramble came and said they were going to get a head start as well. I know, I just couldn¢t tear myself away from the phone. For all the years I was so painfully quiet, I can sure be a talker now. I think I finally left town around 3pm. This time I dared to stick my thumb out, though alone, but to no avail.A big climb up to Caleb¢s Peak and St. John¢s Ledges, and then I¢m sure the steepest down I have come down yet. It required jumping from one big flat rock step to the next below it. My feet began to hurt. Maybe these new shoes aren¢t so great after all.Kathy talked about this stretch of Trail that runs along the river; it really is beautiful and peaceful (aside from an occasional car driving along some road concealed by the trees on the other side of the river). And flat! However, my speed was considerably slower, even on flat ground, because I got my tent back in the mail today. It made my backpack noticeably heavier. Very uncomfortable. And these shoes! I have a pair of shoes at home, a sort of clog, with a wooden sole. That¢s exactly what it feels like I am hiking in.I think it was just past the Stewart Hollow Brook Lean-to turnoff. I sat down on a log for a short breather, and said to myself, ¢I just don¢t want to do this anymore.¢ Yes, it was beautiful, yes it was an awesome thing to be doing, but the exhaustion, the humidity, the burden on my back, I just didn¢t want to do it anymore. Whether that was final or not, I didn¢t know. Besides, how was I to get home?When I talked to another friend this afternoon and admitted to him that I¢d been feeling homesick for Tennessee, he said, ¢Well, go home for a week or so. Then you¢ll probably find you want to be back out on the Trail, and you can go back out and hike some more.¢ I thought to myself, ¢Yeah right, how would I get home and how would I get back to the Trail?¢ I saw only obstacles and hassles and dismissed the idea. But as I sat there on the long, it dawned on me. I could go to Tennessee. Bushwhack and Bramble are leaving the Trail tomorrow, and I¢d heard them talk about going to Maryland. Maybe I could hitch a ride with them to Maryland, be at my parents¢ over the weekend, drive down to Collegedale Monday and spend the week, then drive up with Matt, saving us both gas money, and his parents could bring us both back out on the Trail. I had a ride home and a ride back. It would be easy to go home and come back. I felt suddenly lighthearted, and started out again in better spirits.There was another hill yet to climb, and it was getting dark as I arrived at the campsite and found Bushwhack and Bramble. We were lucky enough to have chosen the same site as two separate groups of rambunctious college students ¢ one from Hartford or some prestigious school. Nevertheless they were rowdy and noisy, long into the night, and quite inconsiderate of their fellow campers.I did feel bad arriving so late, because Bushwhack and Bramble had planned to make us all fajitas for supper. They didn¢t wait for me to eat, which I was glad for, but they kindly saved me a couple! Yummy. Thanks again, you guys!!! I presented the idea of me hitching a ride with them tomorrow; did they think their friends would mind? I think Bushwhack and Bramble were a little disappointed in the idea of me leaving the Trail, too, but didn¢t hesitate to say absolutely they would help me get home if that¢s what I wanted to do.My eyes have been red for a few days; I had attributed it to all the crying this week (I think I¢ve cried every day), but looking in the mirror in town, I think there might be something more to it. So B&B kind of attached to that as the reason I was taking a break ¢ I had to see a doctor. I didn¢t tell them it¢s unlikely I¢ll go to an eye doctor, unless it gets worse. I think it¢s just from not being as careful as I should have been with my contacts. But my general policy for doctor visits is to wait things out as long as possible, try to take care of it myself first (thank goodness for the book ¢Prescription for Nutritional Healing¢! I¢ve treated many a condition in myself with that book. A must-have.) and only see a doctor if it¢s absolutely imperative.At any rate, they agreed I could get to Maryland with them somehow. We sat and talked for a little while, but the bugs were somewhat relentless, so we turned in kind of early. I felt at peace, and excited to be getting off the Trail. I¢m kind of sad to admit that, but there you go.