Date: 2007-06-30
From: Blackrock Hut

To: Swift Run Gap/Skyline Drive Mile 65.5
Miles today: 24.8

Before I started my hike, I was told that nearly every thru-hiker will endure a mental breakdown at least once during their journey. Not wanting to break with tradition, today was my day.I was planning on my biggest day yet, 30+ miles. While in Waynesboro the first time, I ran into Team Ninja. They have a house to stay at in Harpers Ferry for July 3rd and 4th. I assured tem that I'd join them there, though it would mean huge days. I thought I could do it, even with my unplanned zero day. One hundred sizty miles in 5 1/2 days. That's 30+ miles every day. Then again, this is some of the easiest terrain on the entire AT. In short, I was putting a massive amount of pressure on myself.Everything started out well. I was up before it was light, and hiking before 7am. My boots were still wet from the afternoon rain yesterday, and my socks were soon soaked as I walked through wet grass. Even so, the miles flew by, and I arrived at the next shelter more than 13 miles away before noon. Then things took a turn for the worse.The trail runs parallel to Skyline Drive. I figured I could make even better time by walking the road. Walking on pavement with a full pack and wet shoes & socks is really tough on the feet. Plus, my boots were starting to fall apart. The treads were coming off, the material at the heels fraying, and other material on the sole starting st seperate. What's worse, as the boots started drying, the right boot toe box shrunk. Within just a mile or two, I had developed two huge, painful blisters on my right toes. The bottoms of both feet began to hurt as well from the pavement.I kept moving, used to various aches and pains. I'd been through foot problems before, and managed to get by. It did slow me down, and it wasn't what I'd call enjoyable. I was walking the trail for a mile or two, walking the road for a mile or two - back and forth throughout the afternon. At one point, I turned the wrong way onto the road, not realizing it for nearly a mile. Turning around, I backtracked, slowed down even further to stop and pick blackberries (I couldn't resist.) By the time I made it to the next shelter, I was exhausted, frustrated and in significant pain. It was past 5pm, and I'd only covered 20 miles. I chatted a bit with Baltimore Jack at the shelter (he has thru-hiked 7 times!!!) I'd had it for the day, and thoughts turned to why I was doing this to myself. I decided to hike a few more miles to teh next road crossing, hitch 15 miles to Big Meadows Lodge, get some hot food and a few drinks, and then hike a bit and then hitch into Harpers Ferry.During my walk to the crossing, I was thinking of going to the doctor for a second opinion on my hernia. Chances are, teh doctor would tell me not to hike, and I'd have a face-saving excuse to quit. I know if my doctor in NY had a say, I'd be locked up until I'd had surgery to repair the problem. These were my thoughts - how to quit without being perceived as a quitter.At the road, I finally got a hitch from a group going to a sunset wedding just past my destination. (Don't tell anyone - hitching on Skyline Drive is illegal.) Great folks, I was even offered a job after my hike. Doing what, I'm not sure, but it was for a production company specializing in historical films and TV. Maybe they want me for an extra for a Civil War show, with my beard providing authenticity. (Or as a caveman for the GEICO commercials.) Anyway, I was dropped off and painfully hurried the final 1 mile to the lodge, racing the clock before the restaurant closed. I just made it, and had a great (expensive) dinner. Afterwards, I went down to their pub, adn ran into Toodles, a thru-hiker I know. We hung out, I had a few glasses of Scotch, and started feeling better. At closing time, I made my way to the trail and set up for the night. (Breaking rules again, I was camped too close to the trail.) After a long conversation with Ally, as I fell asleep thoughts of quitting disappeared. I realized that I was putting too much pressure on myself, and it was destroying my enjoyment of the hike. I was also pushing myself too hard - especially after losing so much weight (and energy), and forcing myself to hike while enduring food poisoning the week before. I realized that I had nothing to prove to anyone - thoughts of finding a face-saving "excuse" to quit ridiculious. If I make it to Maine, I make it. If I don't, I don't. I've already hiked nearly 800 miles with massive blisters, a broken toe, a hernia, food poisoning, and extremely tough terrain. Yet I'm still here. It's time to relax a bit, slow down, and take each day as it comes. Everything will work out. It always does.