Date: 2004-03-13
To: One Year Ago Today...
Miles today: 0.0

One year ago this morning, Jack drove LeapYear, Twofiddy and me to Georgia. I can remember like it was yesterday, the anticipation and excitement that permeated the air in the car on that cold March day. I feel all weepy and nostalgic thinking back on that time. I remember my boss saying to me when I first broke the news of my adventure, ¢Let me get this right, you¢re going to walk out the door of the cottage and not come back for 6 months¢. And that¢s exactly what I did. It wasn¢t easy, but I did it.Not a single day has gone by that I don¢t think about my hike and all of the people that impacted my life directly or indirectly for those 6 months. My AT pictures run continuously when my computer ¢rests¢, so I have a constant reminder of the beauty and also the agony of the trail.About a month ago while reading other¢s journals, I realized that I had not yet read my own journal from beginning to end. So I did. If I had to do it all over again, writing a journal every night would be tops on my list of things to do. I have the most amazing record of my adventure that I can visit at any time and be transported back, the emotions of that day flooding over me.My worst night on the trail was April 17th, when I tented at Jerry Cabin Shelter. When the tornado went over my head in the middle of the night, it sounded like a freight train. I don¢t think I¢ve ever been so frightened in my life. The next day finding the trail was difficult due to the many trees and rhododendrons that had blown down during the storm. But I survived.The White Mountains welcomed me with open arms. I had been looking forward to seeing them for hundreds of miles and I was not disappointed. I don¢t think I ever worked so hard in my life as I did in the Whites. I lost 5 more pounds (totaling 20) in spite of the tremendous amounts of food that I took in daily. Jack had been concerned about my weight when he saw me in Bennington, it¢s a good thing he couldn¢t see me in Monson. I was happiest the days I climbed Mt. Moosalauke and Lafayette. The powerful winds played games with me, pushing me off the trail on a whim. On the north side of Lafayette, I stopped in the crook of some large boulders out of the wind to watch several large birds playing on the currents. It was with sheer joy that they swirled and dove, each one spinning back to the other. What pleasure I got from watching them. I didn¢t write about this in my journal, at the time I couldn¢t find the words to describe how very special this was for me, and I¢m not doing a good job of it now. It¢s just that I felt so connected, so alive at that point in my journey but at the time, sharing it was difficult. On August 28th I wrote in my journal:¢Reaching the top, I turned and looked behind me and was so overwhelmed by what I saw that I had to sit down. There before me was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Overcome with emotion, the tears welled in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. As I watched, the sun peeked in and out of the clouds that blew over my head and swirled up and down the sides of the mountains in the distance. I felt exalted in that tiny pocket of serenity there on the quiet side of the mountain.¢ What had been my best day on the trail, had been another hiker¢s worst. When I got to the shelter, Sheepstuff was there. She had been crying for hours. The hike over Lafayette had been one of her most difficult days, the wind blowing her off the trail again and again, the fog allowing her to see only feet ahead, the cold gripping her to the bone. We talked for a long time about the trail, our families, and her tremendous faith. I believe Sheepstuff is one of the strongest women that I have ever met, and I admire her tremendously.Everyone likes to use the saying, ¢Hike your own hike¢, but I say just the opposite, ¢Hike everyone¢s hike¢. If I had HMOH, I never would have spent 5 weeks with Scubaman and Granite. They pushed me to do things that I never would have done. I found in the end that I preferred my own hiking style, but wouldn¢t have given up the time spent with them for anything. If Mello Yellow had hiked his own hike, he wouldn¢t have slowed down to hike with me for several days after Constant Motion went home for a week. I enjoyed his company and sense of humor. In Connecticut, LeapYear slowed down to hike with me for a few days. We hadn¢t seen each other in months and had a chance to get caught up. In the Whites, I hiked with Sheepstuff for a day. Had I chosen to HMOK, I wouldn¢t have had the chance to get to know her like I did. Sketch and Gazelle slowed down for a few hours and hiked along with me. I really enjoyed their company. Thanks to all of those that took the time to get to know me.The 100 mile Wilderness is a magical place to be. I can¢t imagine doing a southbound hike and not having this to experience at the end of the adventure. Every day was special in it¢s own way. I¢m sure this was as psychological as much as the physical beauty of the area. The weather was gorgeous, a gift from the gods, to make up for the first 3 months of my hike. One highlight from the wilderness is spending time with Babysteps, Fly and Smoothie, and Sonic and Guana. One day at lunch Sonic sang all 3 verses of Rainbow Connection to us and made me cry. I love that song.I came home from my journey, as most do, a different person. I am more peaceful, more quiet inside. Does that make sense? I experienced the gift of a lifetime and am so very thankful for every minute of those 6 months.I remember near the end of the trip, someone said, ¢Wouldn¢t this be fun to do again with all of the things we now know?¢ ¢No¢, I said, ¢It wouldn¢t". It¢s difficult and it hurts too bad.¢ But in the following months I¢ve found that thru-hiking is a lot like childbirth, the memory of pain drifts away and only the goodness remains.