Date: 2004-08-19
To: Boston
Miles today: 0.0

I'm done! Actually I've been off the trail for a couple of weeks. But I wanted to spend some time at home considering my decision, and insuring that I didn't miss being on an ultra-long distance hike, before I shut down the hike. After spending a week in New York City -- my inspiration, my Katahdin, if you will, became making it to New York City -- I went home to Boston. I wasn't having fun, nor was I having a "gratifying" experience -- and moreover, I didn't miss the idea of being on a 2,175 mile thru-hike, especially the prospect of staying out for 2 more months. I struggled with the issue of going back out on the trail, but I knew I was done because I felt as if I was forcing myself to go back out on the trail. In fact, I'd been holding on to the "thru-hike" notion, forcing myself to hike on, for a month. I didn't miss the trail. I decided, sometime after my hospitalization in June, that I wanted to pursue my longtime interest in Art -- specifically experimental filmmaking and photography. It became readily apparent to me that staying in graduate school for literature and creative writing was inimical to my desire. It¢s been a protracted process -- many years and 4 hikes in the making. One of the reasons that I undertook this hike was to push myself physically and mentally, and to find the resolve I¢ve so often sublimated. I got nearly everything I could get out of the hike, but frankly I was bored covering the same terrain (sometimes for the fourth time!), and I wanted to get started on my next ¢path¢ as soon as possible -- finishing the trail was no longer paramount.I'm not too disappointed, naturally it would have been nice to finish the hike, but I have new endeavors to look forward to -- in essence, a new life to pursue, and that's truly "excellent-good!" The only regret I have is that I didn¢t hit my weight-loss goal, and achieve my ideal body weight, but I am enjoying a net loss of 27 pounds! So I leave behind all the great people I met this year, but I take with me the ¢epiphanic¢ moments (including the hospitalizations -- what fun!) that have given me the resolve to pursue what I love and not what was, ostensibly, practical. I've walked every foot of the trail -- spent 17 months, and 6,000 miles, on the trail since April 3, 2000, and now it's time to end ultra-long distance hiking. One of the things I've discovered about myself in this pursuit is that I become restive after 3 months on the trail, around the 1200 mile mark. It also doesn't help matters that I stretch my body's limits so far that I always end up injured -- or hospitalized -- three serious hospitalizations in four hikes! I'm done with ultra-long distance hiking. I realize now that I'm not a good ultra-long distance hiker, especially after the 3 month/1200 mile mark ¢ this seems to be when I start to break down mentally or physically. This is obvious after four ultra-long distance hikes.But I do enjoy hiking and will be hiking the Presidential Range sometime in the next couple of weeks -- and the Long Trail, at 275 miles and 3 weeks, seems the perfect length for me, so this is a hike I'll probably undertake sometime in the next couple of years. And I'll continue, as I have since 1998, to hike, snowshoe and ski the trail in shorter distances -- once it gets in your system, you¢re hooked for life!I thank everyone who has contributed to my rewarding experiences on the trail, and to all of you who have read my journals. I hope, that if nothing else, some of it has been instructive in some way. And if you¢re thinking of undertaking a thru-hike, don¢t wait and don¢t let anyone dissuade you ¢ it will enrich, and may help to change your life too!¢Excellent-Good¢ Half Moon6,000 A.T. miles04/03/00 ¢ 07/22/04 (and beyond)