context: Why did I have to be such a gullable and overly caring person in the first place ? Why couldn't I be the kind of cold hearted heathen people think I am ? How much more do I have to deal with before people start realising that there are cracks in my armour ?
question: What's a possible reason the writer wants to be the kind of cold hearted heathen people think they are ?
reference: Because they've been getting their feelings hurt .
candidate: Because I have a bad temper.