Newsgroup: it.cultura.militare
Titolo: Santa Collides With Chinese Military Plane

  Santa Claus has been brought down somewhere over the South China Sea 
in an apparent collision with a Chinese fighter jet.
The collision occurred while St. Nick was flying his sleigh on a return 
trip from Hong Kong to the North Pole.
“Our pilots were flying within a reasonable distance when one of them 
was blinded by the lead reindeer’s nose. This caused him to lose control 
of his jet and accidentally fire two heat-seeking missiles that collided 
with the sleigh,” stated the Chinese foreign minister.
According to the Chinese defense ministry, Santa’s sleigh was being 
escorted by J-8 fighters from Hainan Island. The Chinese government 
characterized the fighter escorts as a precaution against Santa’s 
“aggressive acts that endanger lives.”
“We have credible reports that Santa Claus has injured elderly women 
with his reindeer driven sleigh,” noted the spokesman for the Chinese 
Foreign Ministry.
“We acted prudently with self-defense measures to ensure that he did not 
intrude illegally into the airspace of the People’s Republic,” stated 
the spokesman.
“The offensive and aggressive actions by Santa Claus caused this 
unfortunate accident to occur. The fault rests entirely with the North 
Pole.”
The Chinese pilot managed to eject safely and was picked up later by a 
Chinese navy patrol boat. Santa Claus, however, has not been found and 
whether he survived the collision is not known.
U.S., Japanese and Taiwanese naval units are scouring the area in the 
hopes of finding St. Nick alive but hope is fading. China has lodged an 
official protest against the joint-naval rescue effort, noting the 
entire South China Sea, and in fact, the entire Pacific Ocean is 
considered Chinese territorial waters.
The tension over the shoot down of Santa Claus caps a year of drama 
between the North Pole and Beijing. Beijing denied the shoot-down 
occurred because of the failing trade ties between the world’s biggest 
provider of Christmas gifts and the largest manufacturer of toys.
“This unfortunate incident has nothing whatsoever to do with the North 
Pole banning Chinese made toys,” stated the Chinese spokesman angrily.
“We all know that the lead levels in Chinese made toys are only slightly 
lethal and as long as children don’t remove them from the packaging they 
are perfectly safe.”
The North Pole disagreed. Santa’s head elf commented that Beijing was 
very upset on the ban of Chinese made toys and that Chinese air force 
fighter jets had been playing “chicken” in the air with Santa, trying to 
scare his reindeer.
“We are not a political organization. We took these trade measures 
simply to protect all the good little boys and girls from harm. Even the 
bad children only get clean burning, sulfur-free, coal in their 
stockings along with Al Gore’s DVD on global warming,” said Santa’s elf.
The elf also denied reports circulated by the Chinese military that 
Santa was on an illegal spy mission over the mainland.
“Santa’s sleigh is clearly marked as civilian and he was flying well 
inside international air space,” stated the elf.
“Santa has repeatedly offered to allow close inspections to assure 
authoritarian states that he is not engaged in any illegal activities. 
We had to deny access to the Chinese military because they appeared to 
be more interested in copying the propulsion and navigation systems on 
Santa’s sleigh than inspecting to ensure he was not only any so-called 
spy flight.”
The toy ban is not the only incident between China and the North Pole.
China also came into conflict with the elves in the past few months. Elf 
union representatives met this past year with members of the Chinese 
labor force in order to inspect mainland factories for human rights 
violations.
“We noted that even though we [elves)]work 24 hours a day, seven days a 
week, all year long under extreme conditions in the North Pole, for no 
pay . . . Our work environment was still better than the Chinese,” 
stated the labor representative of the Elf Union.
The incident has brought some response from other capitals around the 
world. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il released a statement critical 
of Beijing’s actions.
“I was expecting a 2008 Mercedes this year to add to my collection,” 
said the official DPRK news outlet quoting the dear leader.
The Bush White House expressed concern over the loss of Santa but noted 
that the president hoped it would not interfere with Sino-U.S. trade 
relations.
Congressional leaders in Washington from both parties also expressed 
concern over the shoot down. The only exception was Sen. Hillary 
Clinton, D-N.Y., who simply replied “Bah! Humbug!”
http://www.newsmax.com/smith/santa_china/2007/12/19/58254.html
-- 
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, 
stand like a rock. -- Thomas Jefferson

 an apparent collision with a Chinese fighter jet.
a me pare una boiata, cmq probabilmente babbo natale stava andando a 
prendere i doni in cina a poco prezzo per poi metterci le etichette 
delle varie multinazionali per guadagnarci il 300% rivendoli ai negozi 
di giocattoli

 an apparent collision with a Chinese fighter jet.
LOL, molto carina.
-- 
"Il Basileus che siede a Costantinopoli vince sempre".
Giovanni Cecaumeno.