Newsgroup: it.hobby.umorismo
Titolo: La vera storia della Nutella

NUTELLA 
Once upon a time, many, many, many, m... na cifra of many years
ago, at the beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was
the caos. One day, God (God is the nome d'art of Dio), God, who
was disoccupated, had a folgorant idea and so God created the
Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell was good, very good, very
very good, good'na cifra. The mangiation of God was long. He
manged one million of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that
God has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much Nutell...
And after this mangiation, God invented the Water Closed Run, the
cors in the cabinet, and some Nutell's derivates like the red
bubbons, the panz, the cellulit and ceter, and ceter. After di
which (dopodichè) he invented Adamo ed Eva and all the paradise
and he diss to Adamo and Eva: - Now you have all the Paradise,
you can do everything, very tutt: you have the permission to eat,
to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit, nothing
concors of impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR.
Only very ozious life: television, telenovels, football, moviols,
process of Monday, appell of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and
ceter, and ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters,
all the Paradise is yours: air-conditioned, autom riscaldament,
moquette, parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet, eccet....
Ther's just one thing, remember, in tutt the Paradise just one
thing absolutely prohibited. Come, come to me in the giardin:
this is "the Nocciol", the alber of the Nutell. Only this alber
of the Nutell is prohibited, because I like the Nutell very much,
very very much, much 'na cifra and I want all the Nutell, tutt
the Nutell for me." During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were
very happy. Adamo said: - What a cool! ("cool" is not in Italian
"freddo", no, "What a cool" means "Che cul") All the Paradise is
nostr! And everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered something new. A
lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na cifra di
scoperts. One day the scopert of the hot water, one day the
scopert of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and ceter, and
ceter. But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist 'na
cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the first colazion. And
after the scopert of the cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch
succ, the scopert of the cornetts, they understood that something
was mancant. - Eva! - said Adamo - Don't you think that qualcos
is mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp this fett? - Second me -
Eva risposed - 'ncopp the fett you have to metter burr and
marmelade. - No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif
myself. I want 'ncopp this fett something very particular, very
very particular, particular 'na cifra. What do you think about
the Nutell? - No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said
that's vietat! - Yes, I remember, but only a little assaggiation,
don't succed nothing! And Adamo sces in the cortil where the
alber of the Nutell was and he pres a small barattol and spalmed
the brown cream on the fett and assagged the Nutell.Adamo and Eva
don't ebber the time to exprimer the godiment that the tuons and
fulmins apparved in the ciel and one voice said: - Potevamo
stupirv you with special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod!
Adamo, Eva, come here! Im very incazz with you, very very incazz,
incazz 'na cifra! How did you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't
you remember that it was prohibited? - Cazz! - esclamed Adamo -
It was prohibited! Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na
cifra, God, I really really was completely scordat... - Don't do
that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see everything, very tutt,
and I know that you and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated
the Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for your
peccat. But siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose, you have
two scelts: Scelt number 
1: Nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the secols,
amen! - Nooo! - Eva was piagnucoling - It's a thing very tragic,
very very tragic, tragic 'na cifra! - Aspett! - said God "Don't
be frettolous woman... Scelt number 
2: You can take the Nutell, no problem, let's prend, prend, but
for you is the cacciation out of the Paradise. You will have to
lavorar with the sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr,
you'll have mal of schien and, like this don't bastass, everytime
you will mang Nutell, the malediction of the brufols, of the mal
of panch, of the cacarel will be cadent on you. - Azz! -
esclaimed Adamo - Thank you God, thank you, we don't interess the
cacciation dal Paradise, the important is to have the Nutell!
Goodbye! Ciao, Ciao! And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this
original peccat and this malediction cadded on lor and on lor
discendents, and on the discendents of the discendents. Infact,
tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the ragazz that per
aver one fett of pan and Nutell they scalan the mountains they
stay in a tend al fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter. But the
final pensier of tutti noi is: - It's meglio faticar and soffrir
with the Nutell piuttost che the Terrestr Paradise senz the
Nutell. 
MM

 NUTELLA
it's old licke the cucck, and from Richard Cassins, if i don't
misunderstood, then pleas let me be

misunderstood, then pleas let me be
You got it! :-)
It cames from "Nutella, Nutellae", the story of the most famous cream to
spalm 'ncopp the fett of pan. ;-)
Ciao! :-)