Newsgroup: it.hobby.umorismo
Titolo: Com'e' andata la cena???

Eccomi di ritorno dopo due settimane per trovare 1200 messaggi nuovi.
Quanto siete prolissi ! Come se non bastasse il pappagallo fa casino
da stamattina alle 7 . Se qualcuno vuole un uccello rosso quasi nuovo
con gabbia allegata glielo regalo. Non vale per il Kap che poi ne fa
un uso improprio (vedi il post che segue) Non ho voglia di tradurlo ma
tanto non serve visto che siete tutti acculturati come una caserma di
carabinieri a cavallo. (I cavalli alzano  molto la media)
From 
cabrala...@pipeline.com
 Thu Mar 04 02:28:41 1999
Actual article from the LA Times: 
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was 
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused
doctors 
in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. 
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been 
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone 
seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped 
Raggot, our gerbil, in.", he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 
'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot 
but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck 
a match, thinking the light might attract him." 
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what 
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame 
shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely 
burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers
which 
in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine,
propelling 
the rodent out like a cannonball." 
Tomaszewski suffered second-degree burns and a broken nose from the 
impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree
burns 
to his anus and lower intestinal tract. 
EDITOR'S NOTES: Top Ten Scariest Things About This Story 
10: " I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum..." 
9: "So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but that's like looking
through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at 
the sun). 
8: That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) 
being shot out of a guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky
& 
Bullwinkle. 
7: Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of 
someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was
springtime 
fresh after his journey into Kiki's "tunnel of love." 
6: People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in 
their rectums. 
5: People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were 
doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would
have 
made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex fiends
breaking 
into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before
admitting 
the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at
a 
doctor and saying "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we have this
gerbil 
named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube ..." 
4: "First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make 
the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief? How
does 
one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell
of 
a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the
face 
of God's green earth. 
3: People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: 
"Idiotic white man who insert rodents up his butt." 
2: What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this? 
1: This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those 
Mormons? I am getting a whole new image of the Osmond family. 

Correva il giorno Mon, 29 Mar 1999 10:39:35 GMT, e
ximox@.
NoLamersPlease.netsis.it
 ci ha deliziati con la perla che qui
leggiamo:
La cena è andata bene!!! Bentornato.
Che farei io al pappagallo rosso?!?
--
Saluti, Kap
ALM Corp. Vaccagher Inside!
Transcendency Div. - Managing Director
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Che farei io al pappagallo rosso?!?
Come roba di fare un resoconto? Citare cifre dati etc.
Ad esempio:
Costo della cena: 35000 a cranio
Uomini:12  Donne:36
Coppie prima della cena: 0
Coppie dopo la cena : 8
Menages a trois: 2
Coppie Omo: 1
etc,
altrimenti come la induci la gente a partecipare alle prossime?
Riguardo al pappagallo e' meglio evitare. Non vorrei facesse la fine
del gerbillo....
ximox

Come roba di fare un resoconto? Citare cifre dati etc.
Costo della cena: 40.000 a cranio
Uomini: 7  Donne: 7
Coppie prima della cena: 2
Coppie dopo la cena : 2
Menages a trois: 1 (Rick, Trev e Razzo)
Coppie Omo: 3 (le combinazioni dei suddetti)
So che il bilancio non è troppo lusinghiero, però ci siamo divertiti!


Coppie Omo: 3 (le combinazioni dei suddetti)
OH! Ma allora?!?
Cosa sono queste affermazioni basse e tendenziose?

Correva il giorno Wed, 31 Mar 1999 20:09:27 GMT, e
il.tizio@LE_MANI.iname.com
 (white noise) ci ha deliziati con la perla
che qui leggiamo:

Basse non so, di tendenza... Cioč, era fico, cioč... C'hai ciento
lire?
