Newsgroup: it.hobby.umorismo
Titolo: Borg Jokes

Se vi piace Star Trek (o almeno avete visto "First Contact") non
perdetevi questo thread su it.fan.startrek!!!
Ciao
Nicola
 
"Multum in parvo (orifitio) intrare potest."


Non potresti mandarcene un sunto! Mi stanca! (e forse non lo riesco a
vedere (bugia, ma non importa)).
Comunque: fa ridere come la battuta nel film? "Borg? Ma sono svedesi?"
L'am Borg er Carlo.
Carlo Quartararo
mailto:
mal...@iol.it
 
Bari - Italia
          "...fu facile. Basto' che mi aggrappassi 
        a correnti di repulsione per ritrovarmi fuori" 

Nicola,
mi sbaglio o eri tu che avevi promesso il processo
allo sculacciabuchi?
-- 
bruno 

vedere (bugia, ma non importa)).
Q. How do you encourage the Borg to reproduce?
   A. Give them borgasms (then let them plug and play.)
We are Homer of Borg.  Resistance is futile. You will be assimmm...
Mmmmmm Donuts.
We are Burns of Borg. Smithers! Assimilate them!
We are Karol Wojtila of Borg. 
Pater, et fili, et spiritus assimilationi.
Resistancum est futilius. Amen.
We are Shakespeare 惱 Borg.
Thou art assimilated, my good man.
Ye shall not resist, for that is futile
We are Ice-T 惱 悲a Borg, motherf*cker.
Low and behold, your sorry ass is about to become assimilated, man!!
And if you think you might be able to resist, we惻l tell 描a about
futility, you irrelevant sucker!
.We are Bill Gates of Borg. You HAVE been assimilated. You just don't 
know it yet.
We are Heisenborg:  You will probably be assimilated.
We are Pentium of Borg:  Division is fultile.  You will be
approximated.
Yoda of Borg are we:  Futile is resistance.  Assimilate you, we will.
We are Ebola of Borg:  Vaccines are irrelvant.  We are resistant.
We are Rambo of Borg:  Resistance is the desease.  We are the cure.
We are Bjorn of Borg:  Your serve will be returned.  You will be
humiliated.
Advancement is futile.
We are Porky of Borg:  You will be as... assa... assim... oh, forget
it.
BorgerKing:  We do it our way.  Your way is irrelevant.
We are Beavis and Butthead of Borg. Resistance sucks. We ll kick your
ass.
LIGHT BULB JOKES
How many BORG does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them.
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?  
None of your business, huu-mahn !!!   
How many CARDASSIANS does it take to change a light bulb?  
We don't need a light bulb, but if we did, we could take it from you!
How many BAJORANS does it take to change a light bulb?   
The filthy Cardassians took our light bulb! 
How many KLINGONS does it take to change a light bulb?   
Burned out light bulbs have NO honor. 
And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!  
What happened to the KLINGON who did change the light bulb?
He was executed for cowardice.
How many TRILLS does it take to change a light bulb?   
Both of them.  
How many BORG does it take to change a light bulb?    
Light bulbs are irrelevant. Changing them is futile.  
How many BETAZIODS does it take to change a light bulb?  
I sense it has already changed.   
How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb?   
We have been gone for a while, but we have returned to change it. 
How many Q's does it take to change a light bulb?    
Here now, wouldn't you rather have this nice supernova?   
How many ODO's does it take to change a light bulb?    
I will change INTO the light bulb. 
How many TRIBBLES does it take to change a light bulb?  
1,561,772 .......uhh, 73..., ummm, 74..., 75....    
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends.  How much?
How many ORGANIANS does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they glow in the dark.
How many Starfleet Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If you run a phased inverse tachyon burst through the main
emitter array grid and multiplex it with a subspace standing wave
locked back into a diagnostic mode filter, you'll bleed off most of
the static warpfield instabilities through the higher verteron
harmonics of the decchyon field and get at least another 60 Watts out
of the old one.
Ciao
Nicola
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes too!"

L'illetterato Nicola
AAAAARRRRGHHHH !!!!!
hai osato toccare William ! Il piu' grande ! Il solo, l'unico.
Sarai legato sotto la pancia di un 747. 
Il Jumbo verra' fatto atterrare senza carrello su una pista di cemento con
delle lamette da rasoio piantate normalmente alla superficie.
E questo perche' ti ho dato una condanna mite....
E poi LUI avrebbe scritto: THOU shall resist not !
'Gnurant !
Ciao.
Guglielmo Pizzinelli.
Italy.
"I think you made your point, Goldfinger. Thanks for the demonstration."
"Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr. Bond: it may be your last."
(GF, 1964)

'Gnurant !
Beh, intanto io riporto la barza di un altro... comunque, LUI avrebbe
scritto tranquillamente "ye", intendendo "voi" e non "tu" (ricordi "ye
merry gentlemen"?)!!! ;-)
Ciao
Nicola
 
"In foro conscientiae
semper malae experientiae,
sed in forum vaginale
experientiae non sunt malae."

bro...@popmail.iol.it
 (BRUNO) wrote:

O cacchio, se lo ricorda!
Ci sto lavorando, ci sto lavorando!
Ciao
Nicola
"Fellatio non petita, menstruatio manifesta."

 delle lamette da rasoio piantate normalmente alla superficie.
Questo mi ricorda l'antica elucubrazione chesi proponeva ai deboli di
stomaco...
"Immaginati di essere tutto nudo a cavalcioni del corrimano di una scala
il quale non e' altro che una lunghissima lametta da barba e tu,
scivolandoci sopra, puoi solo frenare usando la cappella del tuo membro
in erezione..."
-- 
ave,
david

 in erezione..."
poi il corrimano finisce e tu caschi in una piscina di alcol !
-- 
Freddy
This was perfectly true,and a very respectable view widely
held by right-thinking people, who are largely recognizable as 
being right-thinking people by the mere fact that they hold this view.

 poi il corrimano finisce e tu caschi in una piscina di alcol !
E un ignaro condomino getta ivi il mozzicone del suo toscano ancora
acceso...
-- 
ave,
david

...

...poi riesci a uscire dalla piscina e, per salvarti dalle fiamme, un
simpaticone ti tira addosso un secchio d' acqua salata...


acceso...
Ovvero sia butta nella piscina i resti bruciacchiati dell'ultimo lucchese che 
e' passato attraverso la tortura suddetta...
Ciao,
Peppe
-- 
********************************
Peppe Cortese
Tagline generated by TAGZ v0.8beta
Via della Renna Pelata 1 
Oslo (Norway)
********************************

 ti ritrovi una bella multazza...
Ma che, stai parlando di Palo alto?
-- 
My e-mail address is altered to avoid auto-mailed spam in my E-Mail.
Remove the UGO in front of it to respond.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Piero Giorgi
Software engineer
pgi...@insweb.com
pgi...@bigfoot.com

acceso...
E siccome c'e' il divieto di fumare e di cuocere la carne alla brace,
ti ritrovi una bella multazza...
Ciao
Nicola
Ma che mano e mano, non vi saluto e basta!

 Che, per caso...
????
Citta' 20 Miglia (32Km) a Sud di San Francisco, patria della Stanford
University, della Hewlett-Packard e sede delle leggi antifumo piu'
rompiballe d'America.
E non ti far venire strane idee!
... non ho mai visto 'sto cazzo di palo....
