Newsgroup: it.hobby.umorismo
Titolo: 100 ragioni per cui e' grande essere un uomo

Da no.vitser
100 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY
1.     Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2.     Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3.     You know stuff about tanks.
4.     A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
5.     Monday Night Football
7.     Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.
8.     You can open all your own jars
9.     Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
10.     Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind
11.     When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every 
shot of somebody crying.
12.     Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
14.     A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15.     Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the  
boards).
16.     You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17.     You understand why Stripes is funny.
18.     You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19.     Your last name stays put.
20.     You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21.     When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone 
secretly hates you.
22.     You can kill your own food.
23.     The garage is all yours.
24.     You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
25.     You see the humor in  Terms Of Endearment.
27.     You never have to clean the toilet
28.     You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
30.     Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31.     If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be  
your friend.
32.     Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
33.     The National College Cheerleaders Championship.
34.     You don't have to shave below your neck.
35.     None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
37.     If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
38.     You can write your name in the snow.
39.     You can get into non-trivial pissing contests.
40.     Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
41.     Chocolate is just another snack.
42.     You can be President (In this lifetime).
43.     You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. (I don't 
think so!!)
44.     Flowers fix everything.
45.     You never have to worry about others people's feelings.
46.     You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
47.     You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48.     Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
52.     Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
54.     You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55.     You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming  
by.
57.     Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58.     You don't give a rat's ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
59.     You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever  
thinking, "he must be mad at me."
60.     The world is your urinal.
61.     You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about 
to leave you.
62.     You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63.     Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64.     One mood, all the time!
65.     You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like  
him.
66.     You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's  
just too skeevy.
67.     You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68.     You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
69.     Same work... more pay!
70.     Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
71.     You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch 
adjustment.
72.     Wedding dress: $2000; Tuxedo rental: $75.
73.     You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
74.     With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's 
population in 15 tries, at
least in theory.
75.     You don't mooch off others' deserts.
76.     If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77.     The remote control is yours and yours alone.
78.     People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79.     ESPN's SportsCenter.
80.     You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little  gift.
81.     Bachelor parties are way better than bridal showers.
82.     You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
84.     You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85.     If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell  your 
other friend you've changed.
88.     If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might 
become lifelong buddies.
89.     Princess DI's death was just another obituary.
90.     The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
92.     You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93.     If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or 
throw it across the room.
94.     New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
96.     You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
98.     Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with:"So....Notice anything 
different?"
99.     Baywatch
100.    There's always a game on Somewhere.

12.     Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
it depends on the interviewer. However it helps a lot
Per adesso posto le risposte alle prime 12 le altre segiuranno...
Va bene in inglese o preferite in italiano?
Silvia
*********************************
e-mail 
v.salt...@bo.nettuno.it
ICQ 6823332
*********************************

 12.     Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
Really?  Even in SF?
-- 
Andrea The Troll Meneghini
I due piu' comuni elementi nell'universo sono l'idrogeno e la
stupidita'.

Silvia (
v.salt...@bo.poseidone.it
) wrote:
: Per adesso posto le risposte alle prime 12 le altre segiuranno...
: Va bene in inglese o preferite in italiano?
Ok per l'inglese.
--
Saluti, Kap.
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 Silvia
 
...che sembra tanto offesa!
:-)

Silvia
Siamo alle solite nessun commento ma vi interessa la risposta
femminile a "le 100 (99) ragioni per cui è grande essere un uomo" o


no?
Un gran signore ti ha gia' risposto...
Comunque, certo che interessa, le prime che hai postato 
promettevano molto bene, Sig.na Livore :-)
Ciao,
Peppe

Peppe
Ho postato i msg prima di leggere gli altri comunque IO non ero
arrabbiata....non č che vi siete offesi voi? :-)


arrabbiata....non č che vi siete offesi voi? :-)
Qui non si arrabbia nessuno...
Se qualcuno si arrabbia (di tanto in tanto...),
la cosa diventa ancora piu' divertente per gli altri e,
se l'"incazzato" di turno sta al gioco, si diverte anche lui :-)
Qualche esempio ? Luther e le sue pecore, Ira ed il gorillone, 
Trev e le battute che non capisce, Ammo/Sir Calimero (il fu'...) e la 
rozzaggine, Simone ed il sesso (con sorelle degli altri annesse), etc etc etc
Ciao,
Peppe

Va bene in inglese o preferite in italiano?
Per me va bene anche in portoghese oppure in arabo.
Salamat,
Ammo Stefo

,
v.salt...@bo.poseidone.it
, 
/Silvia afferma...
/>
/>Ho postato i msg prima di leggere gli altri comunque IO non ero
/>arrabbiata....non č che vi siete offesi voi? :-)
/
/Qui non si arrabbia nessuno...
/Se qualcuno si arrabbia (di tanto in tanto...),
/la cosa diventa ancora piu' divertente per gli altri e,
/se l'"incazzato" di turno sta al gioco, si diverte anche lui :-)
/Qualche esempio ? Luther e le sue pecore, Ira ed il gorillone, 
/Trev e le battute che non capisce, Ammo/Sir Calimero (il fu'...) e la
/rozzaggine, Simone ed il sesso (con sorelle degli altri annesse), etc
etc etc
/Ciao,
/Peppe
per calimero fu se gli parlavi di vivisezione si incazzava davvero:-)
simone

rozzaggine, Simone ed il sesso (con sorelle degli altri annesse), etc etc etc
...Kap e i suoi bagni moooolto saltuari ;-)
Saluti da Fabrizio !
fa...@actively.com
ICQ: 8627129
www.poli.studenti.to.it/~f.galia

per calimero fu se gli parlavi di vivisezione si incazzava davvero:-)
Nonostante nessuno lo vivisecasse (beccati questa Piero...) :-)
Ciao,
Peppe

In che data le trovo ?
Nicola