Newsgroup: it.fan.tv.buffy
Titolo: Le frasi che non sentiremo mai - part 1

Un'altra raccolta di roba divertente dal forum di TWoP.
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Lines you'll never hear on Buffy.
BUFFY: "Do you think I have too many leather pants?"
XANDER: I completely respect your decision, Buff. I mean, who am I to pass 
judgement on your love life?
WILLOW: Okay, that's it. No more locator spells.
GILES: I'm fed up of repeatedly cleaning my glasses. I'm getting contacts.
DRUSILLA: I'm not really crazy, I've just been faking it to get away with 
this accent.
ANGEL: Wait til you hear my Russian Accent . . .
FAITH: Leather? Screw that, I need a fabric that breathes. Maybe something 
in a nice pastel.
VAMP WILLOW: Excited Now.
RILEY: I swear I have something interesting to say.
TARA: What the hell am I wearing?
THE CHEESE MAN: Now that the First is disposed of, I shall rule the world!
SPIKE: Instead of hanging out in my crypt and having meaningless sex, can't 
we just hang out with the Scoobies?
DAWN, greeting people at the door: "Come in. Come in! COME IIIIN!!!!"
CLEM: "Cats? Eww! I am totally a 'dog person.'"
CALEB: Firefly gets canceled and this is all I get?
ANYONE in Sunnydale at all: I think I'll invest in some locks.
BUFFY: Stakes, crossbow, holy water.... okay, I'm good to go.
GILES: Buffy, it's the 21st Century. Just take the damn Uzi.
DRUSILLA: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. The rain in Spain...
GILES: Oh and do please lock the door.
BUFFY: Hey look! I've finally started showing some muscle from all the 
training I do!
BUFFY: It's okay. I'll deal
GILES: Holy freaking crap! How bloody hard is it to say two more words?! 
WITH IT! I'll deal WITH IT!
BUFFY: Oh, look! Sensible shoes!
BUFFY: Oh no we have failed. the apocalypse is upon us.
GILES: Don't be too hard on yourself, Buffy. Bush was bound to be reelected 
anyway.
BUFFY: From now on, it's t-shirts, jeans and sneakers for slaying. 
Fashionable yet affordable clothes are out.
GILES: To read makes our speaking English good.
XANDER: Hey guys! Guess what! I just went on a date and she didn't turn out 
to be a demon or evil!
BUFFY: Did you check for an Adam's apple?
XANDER: Yup! And she definately had one!
RILEY (realizing Buffy doesn't love him): Is it because I'm a lesbian?
BUFFY (after being stood up by Willow in Dead Man's Party): Is it because 
I'm a lesbian?
WILLOW: Yeah. I'm sorry, Buffy, that stuff just creeps me out.
BUFFY: Oh. Can we still hug?
WILLOW: Um, okay.
(They hug)
WILLOW: Hands! Hands in new places!
BUFFY: *smirks*
TARA (after being shot by Warren): Is it because I'm a lesbian?
Segment of outraged fans: Is this because she's a lesbian?
JOSS WHEDON: Of course not. Don't you people have anything better to be 
outraged about?
MARTI NOXON: Maybe I shouldn't take my men issues out on the scripts.
JOSS WHEDON: I'm not giving viewers what they want or need. I'm giving them 
crap I make up as I go along.
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Season 1
=================================
DARLA to the Master: Well, it's your own damn fault for getting stuck half 
in and half out of a Hellmouth, isn't it?
XANDER: "We need to perform CPR."
ANGEL: "You'll have to do it. I have no breath."
XANDER: "Then why were you panting?"
=================================
Season 2
=================================
(Surprise/Innocence)
SPIKE: OK, here's the plan. We assemble a demon whose sole purpose is to 
destroy our food supply!
JENNY: Maybe a large, deserted public building isn't the best place for 
late-night research into the most vicious vampire on record?
KENDRA: Screw 'dis, I'm going shoppink.
ANGELUS: "And then Acathla's mouth will open and suck the world into Hell!"
DRUSILLA: "And then all the bigger demons will eat us, along with the 
humans?"
SPIKE: "Dumbass."
ANGELUS: "Okay, plan B, we charter a boat and dump 'Cathy here in the 
Marianas Trench, and then I go throttle Buffy in her sleep."
JENNY: How did you get in?
ANGELUS: Um, actually, I've been to the school before. Several times. In 
fact, you've seen me here at least twice.
JENNY: Oh, right. You know, for a smart person, I'm pretty stupid.
(The flashback in Becoming, Part 1, as Angel looks out of the car at Buffy:)
ANGEL: Man, I'd forgotten how hot 15-year-old girls can be. Okay, I'm in.
=================================
Season 3
=================================
GWENDOLYN POST: The Council feels that you have become too American.
GILES: What? Like, no way! That is so totally wrong! Who said that?
GWENDOLYN: Well, er-
GILES: It was Travers, wasn't it? He is such a little B-I-T-C-H! I can't 
believe this!
GWENDOLYN: Er, yes-
GILES: That's it, I'm out of here! (to Buffy and Faith) Girls, come on! 
Let's grab Cordy and hit the mall- I need retail therapy, stat!
FAITH (as they go): Geez, B, you've really got him trained.
OZ: Willow, I want to break up.
WILLOW: What? Why?
OZ: I want to date Harmony.
WILLOW: Harmony?
OZ: Yeah, I decided that smart chicks really aren't that hot, after all.
FAITH: "No Xander, don't leave. I want to spoon."
OZ: Willow, I want to break up.
WILLOW: What? Why?
OZ: I want to date Harmony.
WILLOW: Harmony?
OZ: Yeah, it's kind of like Buffy and Angel's slayer/vampire deal. I'm a 
wolf, she's a sheep, it's a whole destiny thing.
WILLOW: That's me as a vampire? But I'm so evil...and skanky. And I think 
I'm kind of gay!
FAITH (pops head in): Did I hear someone call?
(After Amends:)
OZ: Xander. Hey.
XANDER: Um, uh, hi, Oz! How's it going? Willow's not here! Really!
OZ (looks around, drops voice): Dude, you were so right! The guilt thing 
worked like a charm. Willow totally gave it up! I mean, she was begging me 
to do her!
WESLEY: Ah. This is perhaps Faith.
(Faith stops and critically looks Wesley up and down.)
FAITH: New Watcher?
BUFFY/GILES: New Watcher.
FAITH: Sweet! He's even younger and cuter than you, G! C'mere, stud, let's 
do some "training".
(from Consequences)
ANGEL: But I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world 
of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The 
exhilaration... You've tasted something few ever do. (stands up, paces) I 
mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.
FAITH: Really? Because that Finch guy was an accident, and I was all scared 
and confused. But if I do it on purpose, it's a real buzz, huh?
ANGEL: What? No! I mean, well, yes, but my point-
FAITH: Screw your point, I wanna go snuff someone now! (hops up, excited) 
C'mon, lemme outta these chains, I gotta see how good it can be!
ANGEL: Faith, no, going into that darkness will-
FAITH: -get me really hot, apparently. (Makes seductive eyes) Come on, big 
boy, let's go have some fun. I bet B never lets you go play...
ANGEL: Hmm, it *has* been... no, I can't! My soul-
FAITH: Ah, you got so many dead people to worry about, what's a few more?
ANGEL: Well, yeah, but...
FAITH: (pleading) I only got to kill the one. And I didn't even get to enjoy 
it! C'mon, pleeaaase... let's waste some folks!
ANGEL: (hands on ears) La-la-la, not listening!
(Wesley and his assistants break down the door)
WESLEY: By the order of the Watcher's Council of Great Britain...
ANGEL: Oh, thank God! I mean, stop that!
=================================
Rincewind

 MARTI NOXON: Maybe I shouldn't take my men issues out on the scripts.
*giggle*
(il resto lo leggo con calma...)
-- 
                          Maurizio - Tannoiser - Lemmo
                 Founder Member of ERLUG 
http://erlug.linux.it
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