Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: American travellers...

Ricevuta in e-mail. La rimbalzo qui. Sono abbastanza assurde da essere
vere.
cheers,
Peltio
WHY AMERICANS SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO TRAVEL
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over
all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the
stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is in Africa."
Her response ...click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on
the map and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas
was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save
time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the
plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said,"No, why do
you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into
it" ( I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code
for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination
tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied,
"I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers on them."
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
plane. She said,"Yeah, whatever."
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many
times and never  had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express."
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do
you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came
back with,"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."  The customer retorted,
"Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The
agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"


Ah....that's a good one!
Peltio, they're all so funny!
bye
Arianna
Sent via Deja.com 
http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Who's????????
Yeah, I've noticed that after posting. It sure is a common mistake.
BTW, there is a press release in front of me, with text written by a top
manager in a big multinational that's full of it's, instead of its.
Who's fault is this?
: )
cheers,
Peltio

 cheers,
Oh, Cheers Darling!

*fuck me red -an industry staple
ROTFL
more please
how about 'one day in the life of a Publicist'?
Isa
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching

Hoping this has answered your question in full,
Yes it did.
And, as always, it is a real pleasure to read you.
cheers,
un Peltio ruffiano con il Decano.

>*fuck me red -an industry staple
Voglio sperare che la Maestà Vostra non abbia messo malizia nell'operare
il di cui sopra taglio. No, sono sicuro di no.
Anyway, as I've written since my very first reply to Bambi:
Ciumbia. Questa è una tosta.
More, please.
cheers,
Peltio

un Peltio ruffiano con il Decano.
cheers,
Anna (aspettando una o più ultima/e puntata/e...)

Ma... dubbio: in questo caso non si dovrebbe dire "Yes it has"?
Dubbio?
Certo che sě.
E' molto carino da parte tua farmelo notare cosě, perň...
saluti,
Peltio
resterai sorpresa dall'ultima puntata.

Dear Peltio,
Aha!
So there WILL be an ultima puntata? For a fleeting moment there, the
undersigned thought perhaps you had given up your most excellent
narrative.
I should know better than to doubt the trustworthiness of our Alien,
Noble, K.I.S.A
I remain, as always, ecc
Bambi
dtb
Peltio <pel...@twilight.zone> wrote in message
tohS3.3024$v64....@typhoon.libero.it...


Peltio ha scritto ... una cosa molto divertente
(supersnip)
Ah, caro Peltio,
se fossi re ti nominerei giullare di corte per lenire le mie tristezze
nei giorni di pioggia.
Ma non si puo': questo e' un NG matriarcale, e sono ammesse solo
regine... :o)))))
Grazie ancora una volta
P.S.: stai procedendo contro l'innominabile spammatrice? Ti avevo
promesso a suo tempo che avrei fatto la ola per te...
Ciao
Frank
-----------------------------------------
Anche in paradiso probabilmente ci sono stati cambiamenti in meglio

I'm fortune's fool
    Romeo and Juliet
       Some act and scene
Altro che giullare...
PS
Grazie per avermelo ricordato.
Il primo passo è identificare il provider.
Ora lo faccio.

Ora lo faccio.
Aleee oh oh, aleee oh oh
Ale' Peltio, ale' ale'
Ale' Peltio, ale' ale'
Aleee oh oh, aleeee oh oh
Sento l'ambulanza che sta venendo a prendermi;
addio, amico mio... non dimenticare la tua missione...
Ciao
Frank
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I fiori sulla tomba del nemico hanno un profumo inebriante

Ora lo faccio.
rosenet.it
, ed è in Liguria
TOOLNET  Sas di Venditto Carlo & C.  - SANREMO (IM)
http://www.rosenet.it
Accesso con modem analogico fino a 56 Kbps con protocollo V90 o 56Kflex
senza limitazione di traffico di durata annuale.
Comprende 1 mailbox con capacita' massima di 10 Mb.
Su richiesta sono attivabili 2 mailbox supplementari con capacita'
massima di 1 Mb e 512 Kb di spazio disco dove poter pubblicare le
proprie pagine.
400.000 non isdn. Ciumbia.
La nostra amica sta qui in bella vista (sappiamo che il cognome iniza
con la b,no?)
http://web.rosenet.it/utenti/cercasuelencoutenti.idc
però non c'è indicazione del servizio di abuse.
Mi pare di capire che faccia parte dell'assoprovider, comunque.
Potrei chiedere a loro se il suo comportamento è da ritenere spamming.
Vio che dite?
E' spamming?
O solo maleducazione?
saluti,
Peltio
primo stadio

Aleee oh oh, aleeee oh oh
Du calme, mon ami.
Questo è solo il primo stadio.
saluti,
quasi live...

quasi live...
Sempre piu' quasi live: perche' mi metti in difficolta' col francese?
:-))
E l'ultimo stadio quale sara'? Quello di Pantelleria?
Dopo questa battuta sento la sirena della 2.a ambulanza che sta
arrivando per rinforzi.
Sempre piu' OT: non e' che stai aspettando sveglio per vedere la
Ferrari? Ti sei ricordato del cambio d'ora?
Ciao e auguri
Frank
---------------------------------------
Portava alto lo stendardo, non voleva vederlo

primo stadio
Ti faccio presente che la la 
sig.na
 Paola Barillari manda i suoi
messaggi anche su it.cultura. Propendo per lo spamming (o e' forse
cretinismo?).
Noto inoltre che c'e' un'unica famiglia Barillari sull'elenco
telefonico di Sanremo. Perche' non si organizza li' il prossimo
raduno? Potremmo farle una sorpresa...
saluti
Frank
primo stadio e 1/2
------------------------------------------------------------
Filoofi, non trovate la pietra della saggezza,
ve la legheranno al collo!

 
http://www.rosenet.it
[...]


Bè io conosco un modo molto efficiace, ve lo assicuro.
Se non e' linguaggio da spammer questo...
Ciao e buon lavoro
Frank
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ho dato asilo nella mia testa a certi pensieri,
non posso estradarli