Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: A stupid language

My friend Christiaan sent me the following meditarion, which I like to share
with you:
"Let's face it: English is a stupid language!
 There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither Pine
 nor apple in the pineapple.
 English muffins were not invented in England and French fries were not
 invented in France.
 We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes, we
 find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and
 guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is a pig.
 If writers write, how come fingers don't 'fing'? If the plural of tooth is
 teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?  If the teacher
 taught, why didn't the preacher 'praught'? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
 what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
 Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital, park on driveways and
 drive on parkways?
 You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can
 burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and
 a bell is only heard once it goes!
 People not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity of
 the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).
 That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights
 are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch it
 starts but when I wind up this story it ends? And more food for thought.
 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
 If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
 Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 Why is a person who plays the Piano called a pianist, but a person who
 drives a race car not called a racist?
 Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
 Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
 If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
 Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
 electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
 deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
 Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the
 universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint
 you will have to touch it to be sure?
 If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
 become disoriented?
 If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland
 called  "Holes?"
 ....and such is the Queen's English!"

  nor apple in the pineapple.
[.....]
Dear Lucio,
Thank you for sharing.
There are good reasons however, why lurking for a few months before posting
to a newsgroup is always a good idea.
--
I remain, as always, ecc. ecc.,
Bambi
dtb

to a newsgroup is always a good idea.
ROTFL
(Why do we drive in a parkway and park on a driveway... OK, OK, I'll
stop...)
-- 
Isa
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching
http://web.tiscalinet.it/alfabeto_auschwitz/

 stop...)
IsaZ as per Babylon the only reason I can see for parking on a driveway is
"you're a woman!"
and you know...

 to a newsgroup is always a good idea.
guanto di velluto... uffa... come diavolo era?
Insomma quella roba li! ;)

 to a newsgroup is always a good idea.
In your case, it would be better for you to go on lurking forever.

 ROTFL
ROTFLATWI ! (...laughing ant trombing... do you remember?)

 ROTFLATWI ! (...laughing ant trombing... do you remember?)
Sounds like a load of hot air to me.
-- 
 

 I'll stop...)
What's a parkway? 
Cheers,
Loki
Who would park the car under a carport if she had one, but makes do
with the end of the driveway down which she drives. I suppose I could
park on the lawn ( in NZ a common sight) but that gets muddy in
winter.
-- 
 
              O      __
      ___   /\     / / O  
     /__ \   | \   /  |
    O  /  \ /   \./   |
        |________ |
 
            Loki 

 Sounds like a load of hot air to me.
And to me like a load of hot hair.

 And to me like a load of hot hair.
And I think it's obvious to all, in your case a hot hand as the only respite for
poor social skills.
Ciao,
Ron
USA

 poor social skills.
How rude of you, Ronald! You definitely deserve a loaf loaded with a lot of
hot hairs.

 What's a parkway?
Is the 405 at 5 pm :-). (BTW somebody claims that 405 means 4 or5 mph).
-- 
Franco
Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
(L. Wittgenstein)

 Wittgenstein) 
 <= How about a translation then?


  <= How about a translation then?
 Whereof one cannot speak thereof one must be silent.

 A highway number in what country?
oops, you are right :-). California, Los Angeles-San Diego. 
Ciao!
-- 
Franco
Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
(L. Wittgenstein)
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent (Tractatus
Logico-philosophicus, proposition #7).



I'll try and remember that then... :-))


Molto bene!
Martino

Parkway around here is the strip of grass between the street and the sidewalk
Marty


 the sidewalk
Ok, didn't know that term, seeing as it's not one we use. Here we
call them 'grass verges' and generally you're not allowed to park
them. ...mostly... 
Cheers,
loki

 Molto bene!
I just configured my news reader to block all future messages of the
person who had posted the message right above yours, no "little angel"
he, being rude to HM Bambi, and up pops yours with "Molto bene".
Thanks for your unwitting approval!
--
Xakero
 Sapere aude!  (Horace, Epistulae)

 Thanks for your unwitting approval!
Dear Xakero,
Did one have occasion to mention that you post far too infrequently and we
do miss you when you are not among us?
Just wondering.
--
I remain, as always,
Bambi
dtb

 he, being rude to HM Bambi, and up pops yours with "Molto bene".
Finiscila, vecchia checca.

 I remain, as always,
your  Bamboccia

 Just wondering.
Hopping around the globe too much, that's the cause of my merely
sporadic presence in the Realm, but I do hook up my notebook whenever
I get a chance. I shall be quite busy through June, and then I plan to
take it a bit easier until things heat up again in autumn.
--
Xakero
 PT by choice