Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Aiuto: men vs women

Ciao, a tutti. Sono un'autodidatta per quanto riguarda la lingua inglese.
Nonostante non dedichi moltissimo tempo allo studio riesco a capire gran
parte delle e-mail che mi arrivano da una cara cugina che vive in Canada.
Inutile dire che ci sono perň anche molte cose che non capisco.
Ora vi propongo alcune delle sue simpatiche e-mail. Spero che qualcuno sia
cosě gentile da farne una traduzione.
Grazie fin d'ora.
Here is an anology on how men vs women in North America.  I wonder if it is
the same in Europe.  This would be considered like a joke.  Something to
make you laugh.
  -----Original Message-----
 From: Dale Oswald
 Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 1999 4:59 PM
 To: Devra Grosselle; Heather Peterson; Michelle Mulko; Shannon Zuke;
 Sheri Forbister; Sheri O'Donnell; Tracy Pascal; Erin Doucette; Clive
 Carter (E-mail); Karen Chopek (E-mail); Nikki Stroszen (E-mail); Sharon
 Halldorson (E-mail)
 Subject: Men vs Women
Subject:      FW: Men Vs Women
NICKNAMES
 If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will
 call
 each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie,
 Bob
and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to
 each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
 EATING OUT
 When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
 throw
 in
 $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have
 anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change
 back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 or
a
 $2 item that she doesn't want.
 BATHROOMS
 A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
 razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The
 average
 number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
 would
 not be able to identify most of these items.
 ARGUMENTS
 A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
 after
 that is the beginning of a new argument.
 CATS
 Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
 looking, men kick cats.
 FUTURE
 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
 never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 SUCCESS
 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
 spend.
 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 MARRIAGE
 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
 DRESSING UP
 A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
 garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will
 dress up for weddings, funerals.
 NATURAL
 Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
 deteriorate during the night.
 OFFSPRING
 Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
 about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite
 foods
 and secret fears and hopes and dreams and ear infections. A man
 is
 vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -----------------------------------
 President Bill Clinton called Prime Minister Chretien with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried,
"My people's favorite form of birth control!  This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power
to
'elp you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?" said Clinton. "Oui?" "Could the
condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10" long and 4" in
diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan Condoms. "I need a favour, you got to
make 1,000,000 condoms right away and sen 'dem to Hamerica."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great!  Now listen,  dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at
 least
10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done.  Anything else?"
 "Yah and one more t'ing" said the Prime Minister, "print 'MADE IN
CANADA,SIZE: SMALL' on each one."

 così gentile da farne una traduzione.


almeno 10 piedi di lungezza e 10 centimetri di diametro
problemi di conversione delle misure?
O sei canadese?
; )
saluti,
Peltio

italiano, perň non č dimostrato che Icling faccia male...
Dovrei ringraziarti Peltio? Che vuol dire "una lippa?" Ho cercato i miei
vocabulari italiani ma non ho potuto trovarla.
Ciao,
Ron
USA

 wrote in message
s4ls4tt...@corp.supernews.com...
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