Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Man dies in mysterious fall

New York, April 31
Bulletin
(From the Fulton Fish Market Daily)
The peace and quiet of the exclusive Murray Hill neighborhood of this
city was shattered today when a man fell to his death from his terrace
on an upscale high-rise building, after having been observed by
witnesses to be performing what appeared to be a ritual invocation on
his terrace. Witnesses said that at the time of the fall, the man
appeared to be gesticulating skyward and chanting. According to
neighbors, this ritual was a regular occurrence which took place
almost daily at high noon.
It is unclear whether the invocation involved the sun, or the nearby
Empire State Building. Authorities are investigating any connection to
a local cult of the Egyptian sun god Ra, which has been under
surveillance since it first began meeting at the Egyptian obelisk
known as Cleopatra's Needle in Central Park.
Membership of the victim in a local society involved in the
preservation of landmarks pointed to the possibility of an edifice
complex fixated on the Empire State Building.
The involvement of the victim with a well-known secretive society
located nearby raised more questions. Evidently the victim had opposed
the attempt of the society to have their building declared a
historical landmark, even though the building was only two years old.
Police could not yet rule out foul play, due to a number of
conflicting clues found in the victim's apartment.
One source, who refused to speak on the record, said that
investigators were exploring the possibilty that the victim could be
Whitey Bulger, a shady Boston fugitive who has eluded the FBI for many
years.
"He had a really strange accent", one neighbor said. "I thought he was
Canadian".
A mysterious symbol found in the apartment, thought at first to have
occult significance, turned out to be the symbol for the European
euro.
A resident on the fourth floor of the building stated that the victim
waved as he passed by on his speedy final descent, and that he seemed
to be crying "Jane, Jane" as he approached the concrete sidewalk.
Police at first suspected the man was obsessed by the Tarzan films he
had seen in his youth, and was calling out to his mate, Jane, but that
theory was dispelled by the discovery of a well-worn copy of Jane
Austen's "Sense and Sensibility", clutched in what remained of the
victim's shattered hand. A page in the volume was folded back, and
authorities are attempting to decipher the meaning of a cryptic phrase
underlined by the victim: <"It is a beautiful country," he replied;
"but these bottoms must be dirty in winter.">
Also found nearby was a cat, believed to be the victim's, which
apparently survived the fall, and seemed unconcerned by the turn of
events..
Neighbors said that the cat could often be heard howling, apparently
disturbed by his master's recitation of obscure English prose, of
which the victim appeared overly fond. Witnesses said he may have been
an aspiring Shakespearean actor. Others said he was a frustrated
writer.
A cursory analysis of his computer hard drive indicated frequent
correspondence with a number of foreign nationals around the globe. Of
particular interest were clues pointing to illegal currency
transactions with Italian nationals associated with money laundering
and asparagus smuggling in the northern lakes region of Italy. One
man, interviewed at his home near the posh Italian resort of
Gardaland, denied any involvement in illegal activities. This theory
was finally put to rest when it was discovered that government
investigators had confused the meanings of the English word
"recycling" and the Italian word for money-laundering..
Another side of the victim's complex life was revealed when several
people stated that the man often assisted neighbors who were having
problems with their computers.
One man said, "He showed me how to restore my hard drive, for which my
wife and I will be eternally grateful". A woman added, "He networked
me, and it was the best connection I ever had". Another woman stated,
"Once he got his hands on my floppies I was never the same".
The investigation of the tragedy is expected to drag on for several
months.
Police would not comment on the possibility that a series of digital
images may have captured the victim's progress as he descended,
including the horrific final splat.
;>)

 Bulletin
[...]
ROTFL !!!
From the beginning April 31 to the final splat it's been a very enjoyable
reading!
Thank you, joscurtin!
BTW I couldn't witness the deed because I'm still not able to see anything
in that webcam (only a gray panel) :(
-- 
Maria Luisa C - 02/05/04 9.44.46, here.
(please, point out my English errors)

 months.
...
how sad, one less person who actually knew how to use a computer.
-- 
              O      __
      ___   /\     / / O  
     /__ \   | \   /  |
    O  /  \ /   \./   |       Loki
        |________ |
 

 "Once he got his hands on my floppies I was never the same".
LOL!
-- 
Mary

(From the Fulton Fish Market Daily)
[CUT]
Boy, this is a masterpiece. I don't have a cat, but if I had one I am
sure he would be scared. ;)
Sebastiano

 on an upscale high-rise building, after having been observed by
It wasn't an accident. I saw it clearly on the webcam and I can
testify in full detail. This is a sad story and not an edifying one,
so kids shouldn't read it. 
Here are the facts. The blue spot was on the balcony in good company
with another spot, I spotter it was a blonde curvilinear spot. Then a
brunette spot came up, very angry spot it was, all the spots shouted
loudly and there was a fight on the spot: the brunette spot hit the
blue spot while the blonde spot got away in a sec. 
Then the brunette spot  fired a shot and the the poor blue spot became
a red spot and fell down to the street  :(((
 
-- 
Enrico C
 News: 
www.40tude.com/dialog
 - Mail: 
www.ritlabs.com/the_bat
 
 Local News/Mail Server: 
http://tglsoft.de/misc/hamster_en.htm

On Sun, 2 May 2004 05:50:53 +0200, it behooved you to pen thusly:
   > New York, April 31
   > Bulletin
   > (From the Fulton Fish Market Daily)
 [cut]
Most entertaining indeed.
With thanks for posting,
I remain, as always, etc., ecc.,
Bambi
dtb

 
Joey would want me to tell you that the web cam has been down for a 
while. If, however, it does come back up, all you'll see is a blue spot 
where <sniff> Joey used to sit.
-- 
I am Joey's Cat
(with apologies to Reader's Digest)
Un-not my address, too, if you wanna reply.

, Sebapop wrote...

Not to worry, Sebastiano: we have nine lives.
(I have about 7.5 left.)


 
<VERY "Rear Window" Excellent!>


 
"I Soliti Ignoti" -- great film!


 New York, April 31
Dovrebbe essere "April 1",  mi sembra.
-- 
Sakero

 wrote in message
news:4094C141...@libero.it...

How relieved I am that you did not reply,
"LIL"  -  (Lacking in levity)  :>)
Joe from Massachusetts