Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Advertisement (humor)

Hello everyone!  Here is something to brighten your day.
On a Sears hairdryer:
 " Do not use while sleeping."
 (Gee that's the only time I have to work on my  hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
 "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
 Details  inside."
 (The shoplifter special)
 On a bar of Dial soap:
 "Directions: Use like regular soap."
 (And that would be how?)
 On some Swanson frozen dinners:
 "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
 (But its "just" a suggestion)
 On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
 "Do not turn upside down."
 (Too late!)
 On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
 "Product will be hot after heating."
 (As night follows day . . )
 On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
 "Do not iron clothes on body."
 (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
 On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
 "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
 taking  this medication."
 (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
 construction  accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
 with  head-colds off those forklifts.)
 On Nytol Sleep Aid:
 "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
 (One would hope.)
 On most brands of Christmas lights:
 "For indoor or outdoor use only."
 (As opposed to what?)
 On a Japanese food processor:
 "Not to be used for the other use."
 (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
 On Sainsbury's peanuts:
 "Warning: contains nuts."
 (Talk about a news flash.)
 On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
 "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
 ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
 On a child's superman costume:
 "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
 fly."
 (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for
 this one.)
 On a Swedish chainsaw:
 "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
 (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My
 God!)
 Now that you've laughed your head off, it's your
 turn  to spread the stupidity and send this to someone
 you  want to have a good laugh........ in other words
 send  it to everyone. We all need a good smile every
 once in  a while.


That was a riot! Let me post some lines a friend of mine sent me a while ago:
Solo in America... una pizza puň arrivarti a casa piů rapidamente di 
un'ambulanza
Solo in America... trovi dei parcheggi riservati agli handicappati davanti 
ad una pista di pattinaggio
Solo in America... nei drugstore i malati si fanno camminare fino in fondo 
al negozio per avere le proprie medicine mentre le persone sane trovano 
le sigarette all'ingresso
Solo in America... la gente ordina un doppio cheeseburger, un piattone 
di patatine fritte ed una diet coke
Solo in America... si lasciano auto del valore di migliaia di dollari 
nel vialetto e si ripone nel garage un mucchio di robaccia inutile
Solo in America... si comprano i wurstel per gli hot dog in pacchetti da dieci 
ed i panini in pacchetti da otto.
Solo in America... ci sono bancomat accessibili direttamente dalle 
automobili con le scritte in Braille
+--
I know you can't speak, I know you can't sign
So cry right here on the dotted line

  once in  a while.
What#s the bet that these patently obvious directions (some of them)
are the result of lawsuits or the anticipation of them? 
Cheers,
Loki
-- 
  Brevity is the soul of wit.    W.Shakespeare

 di patatine fritte ed una diet coke
Haven#t you heard of assuaging guilt? :-))
Cheers,
Loki