Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Read this!

Hi everybody! I've just received this by my American ex girlfriend (we're still
very close friends) who wanted to pull my leg a little bit. I truly believe that
the second writing is a fake. No Italian would write anything like that, I think
(not to mention a carpenter!) and what's more in a strangely fluent American
English. IMHO it's just something that an envious "John Doe" from Oddsville, USA
wrote to ruin our reputation. What do you think about that?
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European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men
By Alyssa Lerner
Junior, Boston University
I just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, and let me tell you, it truly
was the most magical, amazing experience of my entire life. The French
countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were
magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the
world.
You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. Well, think again!
European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you
are. They really know how to make a woman feel special over there.  Unlike the
so-called men here in the States, European men know how to treat a woman right.
For one thing, European men aren't afraid to come up and talk to you.
And they know how to start slow, with a nice cup of Italian espresso or a long
walk on some historic street. They know the places you can't find in any tourist
guide. They know the whole history of the cities in which they live--who the
fountains are named after, who the statues are.
I remember one unforgettable night in Athens, I sat and listened to a Greek
sailor for hours as he told me about the countless men who fought over Helen
back in ancient times. Afterward, he told me he loved his homeland even more now
that he'd seen it through my eyes. I ask you, would an American man ever say
something as deep and beautiful as that?
European men know the most romantic little cafis and bistros and trattorias,
candlelit places where you can be alone and drink the most fantastic wine. They
tell you what's on the menu and what you should try. (If it wasn't for a certain
young man in Milan, I never would have discovered fusilli agli spinaci e
scampi.) And the whole time, they're looking deep into your eyes, like you're
the only woman on the entire planet. What woman could resist a man like that?
Then, after a moonlit stroll along the waterfront and a kiss in the doorway of
their artist's loft, you find yourself unable to--well, I'll leave the rest to
your imagination.
I'll never forget my magical semester abroad. One thing's for sure--I'm ruined
for American men forever!
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American Women Studying In Europe Are Unbelievably Easy
By Giovanni Di Salvi
I'm a 25-year-old carpenter living in Rome, and I don't mind telling you that I
get all the action I can handle. I'm not all that handsome or well-dressed, and
I'm certainly not rich. In fact, my Italian countrywomen could take me or leave
me. But that's just fine, because Rome gets loads of tourist traffic, and
American co-eds traveling through Europe are without a doubt the easiest lays in
the world.
Being European gives me a hell of an advantage. I'm not sure why, but  there's
something about the accent that opens a lot of doors. All you have to do is go
up to them, act a little shy and say, "Whould hyou like to go with me,
Signorina, for a cafi?" I actually have to thicken up my accent a little, but
they never, ever catch on.
After a cheap coffee, which to them always tastes better than anything they've
ever had, because they're in Europe, it's time to walk them.
Now, all they know about Rome is what they've read in Let's Go, so you can
pretty much just make up a whole bunch of shit. It's fun to see how much they'll
swallow: As long as I refer to Italy as "my homeland" and other Italians as "my
people," they'll believe pretty much anything. I don't know who most of the
local statues are, so I tell the muffins they're all great artists and poets and
lovers. Once, just for the hell of it, I told a psychology major from the
University of Maryland that a public staircase was part of the Spanish Steps,
which she'd never even heard of. Another time, I told this blonde from Michigan
State that the public library was the Parthenon, and she cooed like I'd just
given her a diamond.
For dinner, I usually take them to some cheap little hole in the wall, someplace
deserted where not even the cops eat. American girls think candlelight means
"romance," not "deteriorating public utilities," so they just poke their nipples
through their J. Crew sweaters and never notice that there's no electricity.
Just as well, because Roman restaurants aren't exactly the cleanest. After a
bunch of fast-talk about the menu, I get them the special, which is usually some
anonymous pasta with spinach and day-old shrimp, and whatever cheap, generic,
Pope's-blood chianti's at  the bottom of the list.
By this time, they're usually standing in a slippery little puddle. Going in for
the kill, I walk them past one of Rome's famous 2,000-year-old open cesspools.
Then, as we open the door to my shitty efficiency, I kiss them on the eyelids so
they don't see the roaches, making sure the first thing they see is the
strategically positioned artist's easel I bought at some church sale.  That's
usually all they need to see and, like clockwork, they fall backwards on my bed
with their Birkenstocks in the air.
I mean, they're hardly Italian women, but we have a saying here in Europe: Why
buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
--
Greetings from Mr Zig (^_^)
diego@###
adv.it
(remove ### to E-mail me)

Okay, I read it!
In ogni caso, penso che tutti ottengono la cosa che vogliono.
Che superficiale, nostre piccole vite, no?
Ciao,
Ron
USA
imparare italiano

 imparare l'italiano
essendo meno laconico, quando gli impegni di lavoro ce lo
permettono.
:-))))
Ciao,
Dario.
ITA

 By Giovanni Di Salvi
Wow! In un sol colpo abbiamo scoperto il relativismo,
il punto di vista, la purezza americana corrotta dall'Europa, il
il meccanismo parodico, il vero e il verosimile.  :-))))
In fondo, come dice Ron, tutti hanno ottenuto quel che volevano.
E cosě sia.
Ciao,
Dario.
ITA

il meccanismo parodico, il vero e il verosimile.  :-))))
Mmh... l'ho letto, e l'ho trovato disgustoso. Semplicemente. Non mi ha
proprio fatto ridere, e credo di essere una persona dotata di humour. E non
posso credere neanche per un attimo che qualcuno possa anche solo sospettare
l'autenticità di una simile sòla.
Ciao
Isa
Quanno ce vo' ce vo'

 Quanno ce vo' ce vo'
Ce vo', ce vo'. E che t'ho detto cotica?
Ciao,
Dario.
ITA

l'autenticità di una simile sòla.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
Litmus test:  Read the following joke.  If you laugh, you are a man.  If you
do
not, you are a woman.
*** warning:  sexual joke with bad language follows ***
*** The easily offended (which I now believe includes Isa) should not read
on ***
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Q: What is the definition of a perfect 10?
A: She gives you a bl*wj*b then turns into a pizza.
--Peter

Dear Peter,
It is gratifying to find that  according to your 'litmus test', I am, as I had always believed, a woman.
It is not so much a case of being easily offended, as it is of  bad taste (yours),  being exhibited in entirely the wrong forum (here in this news group).
Were you planning on returning to Mars any time in the near future? Bon voyage.
I remain, ecc,
Bambi
dtb
Peter Neuss ha 
:
:Isabella Z wrote in message :'Mmh... l'ho letto, e l'ho trovato disgustoso. Semplicemente. Non mi ha
:proprio fatto ridere, e credo di essere una persona dotata di humour. :
:
:Litmus test:  Read the following joke.  If you laugh, you are a man.  If you
:do
:not, you are a woman.
:
:
: The easily offended (which I now believe includes Isa) should not read
:on-
:Q: What is the definition of a perfect 10?
:A: She gives you a bl-wj-b then turns into a pizza.

not, you are a woman.
L'ho letto, ed č carino. Eppure sono una donna, e ho tutte le mie cosine a
posto. Questa battuta č divertente; inoltre, del post ciň che ho trovato
disgustoso č il razzismo in tutti e due i sensi, piů che il sessismo, e la
pretesa di farlo passare per autentico (non da parte di chi l'ha postato, ma
di chi l'ha scritto).
E' piů chiaro, adesso?
Ciao
Isa
PS How about one gives the blow job, the other one reciprocates and they
both have pizza afterwards?


Scusami se te lo dico ancora, ma anche qui non hai colto l'umorismo. Si
vede che esiste un enorme "culture gap" tra l'umorismo "anglosassone" e
quello italiano.
A qualunque lettore inglese o americano sarebbe ovvio che si tratta di
una finzione scritta per effetto dal giornalista.
E' certamente discutibile a causa del sessismo; infatti questo č un tipo
di umorismo che andava di moda anni fa, e difficilmente si pubblica
addesso.
Invece ho trovato bruttina (e *molto* piů sessista) la barzelletta di
Peter.
Entrambi trattano la donna come oggetto usa e getta, ma almeno il
falegname le dedica un po' piů di tempo!
Mary
(remove "nospam" to reply)