Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Toconnect/to catch up/to link?

Ciao a tutti gli inglesisti,
La situazione e' la seguente: uno invita un altro a prendere un caffe'
al bar per fare due chiacchiere, l'altro (inglesissimo) si imbarazza e
si sente in qualche modo "hunted".
Considerando le migliori ed assolutamente neutrali intenzioni di fare
due chiacchiere in amicizia. Cosa rispondere?
"please understand I was simply/just trying to "...? connect/link/catch
up/create a bond/be friendly/communicate?
Non saprei nemmeno consicurezza come renderlo in italiano...
Any better idea, please?
Thank you so much.
Fab.

 up/create a bond/be friendly/communicate?
..be sociable?
antonio
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Grazie  per la risposta Antonio.
In realta' si', potrebbe andare, ma lo trovo forse un tantino troppo
light.
In realta' si trattava proprio di creare una amicizia per future
collaborazioni.
Ma non mi viene in mente nulla che suoni allo stesso tempo anche
malizioso o che abbia doppi significati (ma forse sbaglio).
To create a bond, tocreate a connection, to become friends....
Ciao
Fab

 collaborazioni.
to socialise?



This is perhaps the most difficult question I've seen on here ! English 
heterosexual men (unlike children and women) , as you obviously understand , 
don't explicitly propose the possibility of friendship to other men , so 
none of the phrases you suggest could be used . Antonio's first suggestion 
was perfect for the situation as first given , but your further explanation 
shows that it is , as you say , too casual . So in the end much depends on 
the detail of the situation : has the Englishman any specific reason to 
hesitate , apart from 'normal' English reserve - i.e. is the other chap gay 
? And if the latter is the case , might it be openly referred to in replying 
? And these possibilities of future collaboration : have the two men met 
through their involvement in the field in which they might collaborate , and 
would the possibility of such collaboration be naturally something both 
might have in mind , and which might therefore be explicitly referred to ? 
And is the English chap a visitor ? etc . Things like this would condition 
the way in which the answer was phrased .
Of course , if the invitation has already met with an embarrassed refusal , 
and the other chap is now wanting to go back and rectify the situation , it 
becomes even trickier .
Whatever the case , 'please understand' sounds rather formal , even tetchy .
Mike 

 Whatever the case , 'please understand' sounds rather formal , even tetchy .
Ok thanks. Maybe it is better to use a negative approach:
"It was not my intention to put you in discomfort..." without
specifying which were the positive intentions...
Thanks a lot
Fab


Still pretty formal - maybe something like '(By the way) I hope I didn't 
give you the wrong impression the other night when I asked you ...' or 'I 
just wondered whether you'd got hold of the wrong end of the stick the other 
day when I asked you ...' , and then something like 'I just thought it would 
be nice to have a friendly chat / swap ideas etc . , particularly since we 
might both be involved in ....' (if there's a specific project in the 
offing) .
Of course , women can get away with being more direct , if they want , even 
(said with a laugh) 'I hope you didn't think I was trying to seduce you when 
...' - adding a little frisson to the reserved Englishman's relief !
Mike

 other day when I asked you ...'
At this point, shaking one's head, like in a movie with Woody Allen making 
his avance to the usual gorgeous girl :
"I wonder if you'd like to get hold of the right end of the stick...!" 


Mi immagino la scena: "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" 

 ...' - adding a little frisson to the reserved Englishman's relief !
Frisson? In my case was a sort of panic attack followed by a shock
state. I would not want to be responsible of a heart attack if I
write/say something like this.....you British. :-)
Also, what's the reason of a panic attack? Say: "no thanks" or find an
excuse (not the best way, but many do) in order not to have to and then
pretend than nothing happened the day after....
Anyhow, what about this closing sentence?
"...see you only "casually" around, if this is your wish."
casually or randomly?
if this is what you wish/want? others?

 due chiacchiere in amicizia. Cosa rispondere?
Uhm... in America, se i due sono giovani (<30 o forse anche piů) si direbbe:
"I just wanted to be cool, (man)!"
Oppure, un po' contrariato del fatto che all'altro non vada bene di prendere 
un drink:
"We're cool, right?"
Non so se in UK abusino del termine "cool" cosě tanto come gli americani, ma 
credo proprio di no.
;-)
Tschüss,
Enrico il Pentolaio.
--
"E ora ridateci la Gioconda!" 

 ;-)
Appunto. Trattasi di UK, qui.
Thank you!

 "...see you only "casually" around, if this is your wish."
ma questa orrenda frase l'ha detta lui o e' cio' che hai intenzione di
dire tu?


 credo proprio di no.
Teste di legno ce ne sono ovunque.


 Appunto. Trattasi di UK, qui.
Ah.
Fai finta di essere americana, allora!
:-))))


 Teste di legno ce ne sono ovunque.
Ma "cool" lo usano molto di meno in UK, no?


 dire tu?
Questa orrenda frase l'ho concepita io.:-(((
Deriva da:
See you around
See you around only casually then (= non ti invito piu' di proposito, e
se ci vedremosara' per caso)
Ecco il messaggio che voglio inviare...
C'e' ilmodo di renderla un po meno orrenda??? :-)
Grazie.

 > > "...see you only "casually" around, if this is your wish."
"See you around" oppure "I'll see you when I see you" e' il modo di
congedarsi della persona offesa (almeno lo sarebbe in questo contesto).
Hai motivo di essere offesa? Non lo so, ma anche se cosi' fosse, io non lo
darei a vedere.
Io ti suggerirei di spiegare l'eventuale malinteso:
I hope I am not giving you the wrong impression, I only mean to meet up in
friendship
se vuoi essere piu' esplicita:
"I am not coming on to you" (che e' lo stesso di "I am not trying to
seduce you", ma piu' colloquiale). Un'altra frase simile (immagino
tipicamente UK) e': "I am not making a pass at you"
e poi concludere con:
"let me know when you are available" oppure "I hope we can have that
coffee soon some time". 


> Ma "cool" lo usano molto di meno in UK, no?
Be', penso proprio di si'.



No, no questo e' proprio quello che l'ha terrorizzato....(sti
inglesi)...

 wrote in message
news:1153662961.9...@s13g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

The second might be ok , once you've cleared the air , but you're right to
avoid the first ('let me know when you're available') like the plague ; I
had these very words said to me once by a woman , and they meant exactly
what you don't want to say !
Mike