Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Pig Ownership Procedures

Inoltro:
Two Irishmen - Paddy and Paddy - went out one day and each
brought a pig. 
When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said, 
"Paddy, me ol'mate, how are we going to tell who owns which
Fookin' Pig?"
Paddy says, "Well Paddy, I'll cut one of te ears off my Fookin
Pig, and ten we can tell them apart." 
"Ah, dat id be grand," says Paddy. 
This worked fine until a couple of weeks later, when Paddy
stormed into the house. 
"Paddy," he said, "Your Fookin Pig has chewed the ear off my
Fookin Pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with one ear each. How
are we going to tell who owns which fookin pig.?"
"Well Paddy," says Paddy, "I'll cut ta other ear off my fookin
pig. Ten we'll ave two fookin pigs and only one of them will
avan ear". 
"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy. 
Again, this worked fine until a couple of weeks later, when
Paddy again stormed into the house. 
"Paddy," he said, "Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa
my fookin pig!!!. Now, we got two fookin pigs with no fookin
ears!!!. How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"
"Ah, dis is serious, Paddy." said Paddy. 
"I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll cut de tail offa my fookin pig.
Den we'll av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one
fookin tail." 
"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.
Another couple of weeks went by and.......... you guessed it,
Paddy stormed into the house once more.
"PADDY," shouted Paddy, "YOUR FOOKIN' PIG HAS CHEWED THE FOOKIN'
TAIL OFF A MY FOOKIN' PIG, AND NOW WE GOT TWO FOOKIN' PIGS WITH
NO FOOKIN' EARS AND NO FOOKIN' TAILS!!!!!!!!! HOW DE FOOK ARE
WE GONNA FOOKIN' TELL 'EM APART!!!!!!!!"
"Ah, Fook it" says Paddy, "how's abouts you have the black one,
and I'll have the white one?"
:o)
Jack
(Remember that in every contract the big print giveth and the
small print taketh away)
-- 
It [marriage] happens as with cages: the birds without despair
to get in, and those within despair of getting out.
                -- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

ADPUF wrote:
...cute  :-)

 brought a pig.
[...]
Hey, that wasn't exceedingly politically correct! Not very fair to the
Irish! As a penalty, an Irish frog survey... hopping to it on one leg! ;))
http://www.ipcc.ie/frogstories.html
Frog Jokes
What happens if a frog parks on double yellow lines? He gets toad away.
Where do baby frogs learn to swim? In a tadpool.
What's a frog's favourite sweet? Lollyhops!
What's a frog's favourite game? Hopscotch
Which frogs can jump higher than a house? All of them - a house can't jump!
What does a bankrupt frog say? Baroke, baroke, baroke
Why are frogs normally so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What's green, green, green, green, green? A frog rolling down a hill.
What happens if a frog and toad collide? They get tongue tied.
Guess the game preferred by big frogs? Croaket!
Why do frogs love reading Sherlock Holmes? They really enjoy a good croak
and dagger.
Why would a frog go to hospital? To have a hopperation.
How does a frog feel if it breaks its leg? Very unhoppy.
What does a stylish young tadpole wear once it metamorphoses? A jumpsuit!
What does a frog order in a restaurant? French flies and diet croak!
How do frogs feel about the way we treat the planet? Hopping mad
What does a frog like to sing? Hoppera
Who's green and lies very still?
Kermit the Log 

 small print taketh away)
Tom Waits!
:)