Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: A flaming lesson (long)

flame me
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we
say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions
printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather
kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in
the Islets of Langerhans.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little
worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk,
a cad, and weasel.  I take that back; you are a festering pustule on 
an weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a
stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal
bagpipe player. You were not born.  You were hatched into an
unwilling world that rejects the likes of you.  You didn't crawl
out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg 
rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards.
You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam.  You won't make it.
Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of 
shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting
world. They were a bit late.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf
at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.
Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. 
You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a 
technicolor yawn.  And did I mention that you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting
to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a
nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be
able to access it ever so much more rapidly.
You are a thick-headed trog.  I have seen skeet with more sense
than you have.  You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few
cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a core dump, and
a few chromosomes short of a full human.  Worse than that, you
top-post.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an
ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with
you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost
in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant. You
have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be
promoted to Engineering Manager.
Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to
be read?  Everyone plonked you long ago.  Do you fantasize that
your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the
$0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them?  Your life is
one big W.O.M.B.A.T. and your future doesn't look promising either.
We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and 
cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes.  
The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you,
so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git.
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You
make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent.  You have a version
1.0 mind in a version 6.04 world.  Your mother had to tie a pork chop 
around your neck just to get your dog to play  with you. You think 
that 
http://www.guymacon.com/insult.txt
 is the name of a rock band.
You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived.
You would rather read L. Ron Hubbard than Larry Niven.  Hee-Haw 
is too deep for you.  You would watch test patterns all day if 
the other inmates would let you. 
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality
of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted.
Spammers look down on you.  Phone sex operators hang up on you.
Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you.  You are the 
source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever 
you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off,
pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john.
You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish
plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish
boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup
pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing
gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted
clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in
clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You
still would not have a clue.  If you were a movie you would be
a double feature; _Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_.
You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath.
You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic 
camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed 
stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased 
just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, 
and I wish you would go away.
It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid 
as a stone that the other stones make fun of. Stupid so stupid 
that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and 
into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. 
Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity 
where even the stupons have collapsed into Stuponium. Stupid 
so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. 
Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more
stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year.
Quasar stupid. This has to be a troll. It cannot be possible
that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This 
is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang.
A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid
beyond the laws of nature.  I must apologize. I can't go on. 
This is my epiphany of stupid. After this experience, you may 
not hear from me for a while. I don't think that I can summon
the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed
comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have
snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well...
it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a
creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together
a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective...
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell,
and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary
skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that
everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget
that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these
things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then
I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been
"right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the
best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be
placing such a demand on you.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful,
cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable,
belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal,
fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic,
brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented,
lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic,
fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant,
clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive,
double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical,
cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant,
deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring,
plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious,
secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant,
self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and
Generally Not Good.
I hope this helps...

I hope this helps...
Oh yes, it has already helped me big time and that's only in the last ten
minutes!
I think I'll save it in my favorites.
bye 
Arianna

 ...
Good gracious! Would sweet little Mary really talk like that?
Humourous, some may find it. But for the record it should be recalled 
that the only correct way to respond to a post that tries to start a 
flaming war is not to respond at all, to give the troll the silent 
treatment, to "send him to Coventry".
-- 
Xakero