Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Girlfriend upgrade problems

(Received from a friend in Switzerland)
+++
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space
and valuable resources.  No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the product brochure.  In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all
other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors
all
other system activity.
Applications such as Poker night 10.3, Boys Night 2.5 and Sunday
Football
5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem
to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my
other
favorite applications.  I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0,
but the uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, G
--------------------------
Dear G:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that
Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.  It is impossible to uninstall,
delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed
to do this.  Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
end
up with more problems than the original system.  Look in your manual
under
"Warnings- Alimony/Child Support."  I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and
just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).  You must
assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of
their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case, avoid excessive use of the ESC key because ultimately you
will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
return to normal.  The system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame
for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife
1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any
circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.  This is not a
supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage
to the operating system.
Best of Luck.
Tech Support
+++
Mary
(remove "nospam" to reply)
---
Almost had a psychic girlfriend - she left me before we met.

and valuable resources.
ROTFL
Italian Wife 1.0
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
[...]
Did he, perchance, write it? Or can your friend provide
the provenance of the article?
I sure hope the author received some acknowedgment at
some stage!
Raymot,
CACA: (Campaign for Attributions on Clever Articles)
[[[[[[[[[

 carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0!
+++
Mary
(remove "nospam" to reply)
---
Hi, this is Ranma, my girlfriend.... Why are you laughing?

Excuse me, please. I have a doubt on your header. I would have written
"upgrading problems" instead of "upgrade". Could you tell me if my
construction is equally right? And, if so, which is the difference
between them ?
Thank you
Michele

Michele ha scritto:

They're both correct, and there isn't really a lot of difference.
"Upgrading" would mean the process of upgrading, whereas "upgrade" usually
means the new (upgraded) program.
If you don't mind me correcting your message, you should say "what's the
difference", not "which is the difference".
Mary
(remove "nospam" to reply)
---
Introducing F-Mail. Upgrade to the popular E-Mail

difference", not "which is the difference".
Thanks. ;-)
Michele