Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Man Makes Miraculous Recovery

AmEng Ketzl here. I don't know; I think some of you might be interested 
in this article that came out in today's FFMD. <yawn> <stre-e-e-etch>
New York, 24 May 2004 -- follow-up to an article from the Fulton Fish 
Market Daily of 31 April
Bulletin
The police reported a strange occurence in the morgue at Bellevue 
Hospital yesterday. An apparently unclaimed body -- a "John Doe" who fell 
from his balcony last month -- began scratching at the inside of the 
freezer door early yesterday morning, and screaming something that 
initially sounded like "O Fame! O Fred!"
Despite their initial fright, morgue attendants opened the freezer and 
discovered that the assumed "corpse" had been merely comatose for the 
past three weeks. A blood-alcohol-level test showed he had been in a 
drunken stupor since the middle of April, which coincides with the 
beginning of his association with a mysterious group of foreign nationals 
formerly believed to be involved in asparagus smuggling.
It is now believed the victim became possessed and plunged to his fate as 
a result of an attempt to make contact with the group's ringleader (he 
muttered something about "The Realm", but that is believed to be merely a 
reference to JRR Tolkien) for the purpose of obtaining Ligurian asparagus 
for a recipe he got from it.hobby.cucina.
The clamor the victim made yesterday morning turned out not to be an 
appeal to some obscure goddess of Fame, nor to someone named "Fred", but 
in fact the Italian for "I'm hungry! I'm cold!" Fortunately for the man, 
no longer a "John Doe" but recently identified as one "Joe Dee", there 
was a quart of blood in the refrigerator, and after a transfusion Mr. Dee 
is recovering slowly.
A minor mishap involving a jar of "salsa di pomodoro con funghi" in the 
same refrigerator was narrowly averted when the attendant performing the 
transfusion caught his mistake as he was hooking up the IV. (It is 
believed, however, that a small amount of this "salsa con funghi" made 
its way into Mr. Dee's bloodstream anyway, before the error was 
noticed, but he seems none the worse for it.)
Doctors believe that Mr. Dee will be able to return home as soon as he 
regains his sanity and remembers who he is. He still appears quite 
confused, and frequently mumbles such incoherent statements as "I didn't 
want to really split that infinitive," and "Less? Less than fewer? Less 
is more!" the latter which seems to be a statement made popular by a 
contemporary Dutch architect.
In typical feline fashion, his cat, an adoptee with the unlikely name 
(for an Italian cat) of "Ketzl," had no reaction when told his master 
would be home soon.
-- 
I am Joey's Cat
Un-not my address, too, if you wanna reply.

 would be home soon.
That article was not really complete. Better-informed sources report
"Ketzl" to have commented about Mr. Dee coming back home: "But  there
is good news too: someone is going to do the shopping and fill up the
fridge at last!"
 
-- 
(T)EFL online communities
http://groups.msn.com/TEFL

fridge at last!"
Uhm, a fridge is a bit like a freezer, I don't think he would like
to see another freezer for a looooong time :)
'bye