Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: Why English is difficult, (Humour)

Found on uk.rec.humour
I read it and thought ICLI might enjoy it!
(And I think Italiano is difficult)
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give you a boot ... would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and the whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So our English, I think you'll all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.
(Anon)
-- 
Chris Notton
Replace "nospam" with my surname to reply by email
Sostituisca il "nospam" con il mio cognome per rispondere
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, 
Miss...@yahoo.fr
 
says...
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If you enjoyed that.....................at the risk of being boring:
Hints on Pronunciation for
Foreigners
I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through,
Well done, and now you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead -
And only Scotsmen call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and loose -
Just look them up - and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go, and thwart and cart -
Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive -
I'd mastered it when I was five.
Not mine, it's by Herbert Farjeon
It is really rather difficult even if English is your first language. 
Now at least in Italian you generally pronounce most letters except the 
ones you put in to soften (I) or harden (h)! it is just the stresses that 
seem to be everywhere!
The thing that I am struggling with now is words that change 
gender.........1 egg, 2 eggs, etc.
You are just trying to make things difficult I think!
Ciao (soft c because of the "I") a tutti
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 on deaf ears!!!
Ok, but will you please evitare di quotare 115 righe?
E ogni tanto date anche un'occhiata al sito di Icling:
http://web.tiscali.it/peltio/TheRealm/Learn/Hear/index.html
-- 
Ciao,
Anna

Along the same lines, here's a bit on pronunciation:
"I take it you already know
of tough and bough amd cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
on hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you whish, perhaps,
to learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
that looks like beard and sounds like bird;
and dead - it's said like bed, not bead,
for goodness's sake, don't call it "deed"!
watch out for meat and great and threat,
(they rhyme with suite, and straight and debt)
A moth is not a moth in mother
nor both in bother, broth in brother;
and here is not a match for there
nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose -
just look them up - and goose and choose
and cork and work and card and ward,
and font and front and word and sword,
and do and go and thwart and cart .
Come, come, I've hardly made a star!
A dreadful language? Man alive!
I'd mastered it when I was five!"

oops, I guess I should have read Chirs' post first. I guess we have the same
book :).
N.

Agli italiani:  Avete delle poesie come queste?
Jo@nna

 Agli italiani:  Avete delle poesie come queste?
Non si possono definire poesie, piuttosto filastrocche, ma sono le prime che
mi hanno insegnato alle elementari per imparare il numero di giorni di
ciascun mese e la sequenza dei giorni della settimana:
trenta giorni ha novembre,
con april, giugno e settembre
di ventotto ce n'è uno
tutti gli altri ne han trentuno
lunedì chiusin chiusino
martedì bucò l'ovino
sgusciò fuori mercoledì
pio pio fe' giovedì
venerdì fun un bel pulcino
beccò sabato un granino
la domenica mattina
aveva già la sua crestina
Ale

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