Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: The Zen approach to Windows

(Taken from  another newsgroup. Posted for those who have ever experienced
some problems with the Windows O/S - and we know there are a few of you out
there)
Tokyo, Japan. March 5. Sony has announced its own computer
 operating system, now available on its hot new portable PC
 called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages
 characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS System, Sony's
 chairman, Asai Tawara, said,
 "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human,
 Japanese face on what has been, until now, an operating
 system that reflects Western cultural  hegemony."
 "For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful
 Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry.
 The haiku messages are just as informative as Microsoft's and
 cause a thoughtful pause, sufficient to allow the user to put
 aside the impulse to put a fist through the monitor screen."
 The chairman went on to give examples of the error messages:
 A file that big?
 It might be very useful.
 But now it is gone.
 You seek a web site.
 It cannot be located.
 Countless more exist.
 Chaos reigns within.
 Stop, reflect, and reboot.
 Order shall return.
 Aborted effort:
 Close all that you have worked on.
 You ask way too much.
 Yesterday it worked.
 Today it is not working.
 Windows is like that.
 First snow, then silence.
 This thousand dollar screen dies
 So beautifully.
 With searching comes loss.
 The presence of absence.
 "June Sales.doc" not found.
 Stay the patient course.
 Of little worth is your ire.
 The network is down.
 Three things are certain:
 Death, taxes and lost data.
 Guess which has occurred.
 You step in the stream
 But the water has moved on.
 Page not found.
 Out of memory.
 We wish to hold the whole sky.
 But we never will.
 Having been erased,
 The document you are seeking
 Must now be retyped.
 Serious error.
 All shortcuts have disappeared.
 Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
 Windows NT crashed.
 Blue Screen of Death.
 No one hears your screams.

  system that reflects Western cultural  hegemony." ...
How absolutely beautiful!
I couldn't believe it, went back to the top expecting to see April 1
as the dateline, but it was not.
--
Xakero
 Sapere aude!  (Horace, Epistulae)

  Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry.
ROTFL carpiato con doppio salto mortale in salita, spaccata a mezz'aria,
imitazione di un delfino nano in discesa e crisi epilettica all'atterraggio.
Sono _bellissimi_ !
Li ho già inviati a metà della mia rubrica.
Grazie,
Peltio
All your eggs in one basket.
You still think it was wise?
The Registry is now invalid.
It crashed again.
Outside the Windows
So beautiful a day.
A small change for you
Means much more to others.
Reboot to change colours.

 Li ho già inviati a metà della mia rubrica.
Dear Peltio,
Why was it we had you in mind when posting?
Could it have anything to do with the blue screen of death, mentioned by
your goodself a few time? Surely not. Yet we were truly thinking of you.
Happy to have spread some mirth.
--
I remain, as always,
Bambi
dtb

 The Registry is now invalid.
Dare I mention that  Haiku is a sequence of 3 lines of 5,7, 5 syllables
respectively?? My dictionary also mentions 'seasons' as the topic. (I
didn't know that before)
So, if I may be so bold as to toy with your erzatz haiku...  
   Eggs in one basket
   Registry now invalid
   Wisdom still needed,
 
 :-))))   
 
Cheers,
Loki
-- 

  Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
I heard it before,
but not experienced it.
Mine's an Amiga. 
:-))
Cheers,
loki
-- 

 respectively??
As a matter of fact, the original japanese version I wrote is of 5, 7 and 5
syllabes.
sushi tatami osoto-gari,
Peltio



;-P  sure, sure, I believe you :-)))
 Sushi - I've made; tatami - I've tried to sleep on; but osoto-gari I
have no idea what it is. Care to enlighten me?
Cheers,
Loki
Nu jirando
-- 
 

 have no idea what it is. Care to enlighten me?
Osoto-gari is a leg technique in karate. An outer sweeping throw.
Peltio translated in the concise haiku form one of the most delicate poems
of his native planet, that, explicitated, goes more or less like this:
' Oh, my love, I want to smash you on the bed like a raw fish'
Ciao
Giorgio

 bed like a raw fish'
How uncomfortable and possibly innaccurate. ;->
 Sushi is rice mainly, with a microscopic amount of filling, raw fish
is sashimi. And strictly speaking, tatami is the floor mat, several
centimeters thick to be sure, but still a floor, upon which one
throws a horrendously thin futon and then endeavours to sleep -
barring not hearing the village wake up calls (siren) at 3 am on the
loudspeakers situated 'ever so closely' to the window.  
In the home of electronics, one was left wondering why none of the
fishermen had alarm clock radios!
Loki

 How uncomfortable and possibly innaccurate. ;->
I am not responsible for Peltio's innaccuracies in translating from
Aldebaranian to Japanese ;-)
Ciao
Giorgio

 ' Oh, my love, I want to smash you on the bed like a raw fish'
Very inaccurate of him. The original meaning is "Oh, my love, I want to fish
you in your bed while you're sleeping in the raw".