Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: More: Richard Lederer

Here's an excerpt from the opening chapter in Richard Lederer's Crazy
English: the Ultimate Joy Ride Through Our Language -Pocket Books,
1989-
Has it ever struck you that we English users are constantly standing
meaning on its head? Let's look at a number of familiar English words
and phrases that turn out to mean the opposite or something very
different from what we think they mean.
'I could care less. '
I couldn't care less is the clearer, more accurate
version. Why do so many people delete the negative from this
statement? Because they are afraid that the n't . . . less combination
will make a double negative, which is a no-no.
'I really miss not seeing you.'
Whenever people say this to me, I feel
like responding,  ' All right, I'll leave'.  Here speakers throw in a
gratuitous negative, not, even though I really miss seeing you is what
they want to say.
'The movie kept me literally glued to my seat.'
The chances of our buttocks being literally epoxied
to a seat are about as small as the
chances of our literally rolling in the aisles while watching a funny
movie or literally drowning in tears while watching a sad one. We
actually mean The movie kept me figuratively glued to my seat -- but
who needs figuratively, anyway?
'A non-stop flight.'
Never get on one of these. You'll never get down.
'A near miss.'
A near miss is, in reality a collision. A close call is
actually a near hit.
'My idea fell between the cracks.' If something fell between the
cracks, didn't it land smack on the planks or the concrete? Shouldn't
that be
my idea fell into the cracks  ' or between the boards '?
' I'll follow you to the ends of the earth' . Let the word go out to
the
four corners of the earth that ever since Columbus we have known that
the earth doesn't have any ends.
'A hot water heater'. Who heats hot water?
'A hot cup of coffee'.
Here again the English language gets us in hot
water. Who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot
coffee.
'Doughnut holes'.
Aren't those little treats really doughnut balls ? The
holes are what's left in the original doughnut. (And if a candy cane
is shaped like a cane, why isn't a doughnut shaped like a nut?)
'I want to have my cake and eat it too'.
Shouldn't this timeworn cliche, be I want to eat my cake and
have it too? Isn't the logical sequence
that one hopes to eat the cake and then still possess it?
'A one-night stand'.
So who's standing? Similarly, to sleep with
someone.
'The first century B.C.'
 These hundred years occurred much longer ago
than people imagined. What we call the first century B.C. was, in fact
the last century B.C.
'Daylight saving time'.
Not a single second of daylight is saved by this
ploy.
'The announcement was made by a nameless official'.
Just about everyone
has a name, even officials. Surely what is meant is The announcement
was made by an unnamed official.
'Preplan, preboard, preheat, and prerecord'.
Aren't people who do this
simply planning, boarding, heating, and recording? Who needs the
pre-tentious prefix?
'The bus goes back and forth between the terminal and the airport.'
Again we find mass confusion about the order of events. You have to go
forth before you can go back.
'I got caught in one of the biggest traffic bottlenecks of the year.'
The bigger the bottleneck, the more freely the contents of the bottle
flow through it. To be true to the metaphor, we should say, I got
caught in one of the smallest traffic bottlenecks of the year.
'Underwater and Underground'.
Things that we claim are underwater and
underground are obviously surrounded by, not under the water and
ground.
'I lucked out'. To luck out sounds as if you're out of luck. Don't you
mean I lucked in?
Because we speakers and writers of English seem to have our heads
screwed on backwards, we constantly misperceive our bodies, often
saying just the opposite of what we mean:
'Watch your head.'
I keep seeing this sign on low doorways, but I
haven't figured out how to follow the instructions. Trying to watch
your head is like trying to bite your teeth.
'They're head over heels in love'.
 That's nice, but all of us do almost
everything head over heels . If we are trying to create an image of
people doing cartwheels and somersaults, why don't we say, They're
heels over head in love?
'Put your best foot forward'.
Now let's see. . . . We have a good foot
and a better foot -- but we don't have a third -- and best -- foot.
It's our better foot we want to put forward. This grammar atrocity is
akin to 'May the best team win'  Usually there are only two teams in
the contest.
'Keep a stiff upper lip'.
When we are disappointed or afraid, which lip
do we try to control? The lower lip, of course, is the one we are
trying to keep from quivering.
' I'm speaking tongue in cheek'.
So how can anyone understand you?
'They do things behind my back'.
You want they should do things in front
of your back?
'They did it ass backwards'.
What's wrong with that? We do everything
ass backwards.
I remain, ecc
Bambi
dtb

...


water heater)
oops, credo che dovevo dire "spero che abbia dato credito...", accidenti
al congiuntivo...

...
:Sono curioso, era veramente pubblicato per la prima volta in 1989?
:Se e' cosi, spero che ha dato credito al comico George Carlin, che
:usava alcune di questi esempi nei anni 60-70. (near miss, hot
:water heater)
:
:Alcune altre osservazione di George che mi ricordo:

:>
:
:
:

al congiuntivo...
oops, credo che avrei dovuto dire...
congiuntivite, eh?
Anch'io ne soffro di tanto in tanto...
ciao,
Peltio

oops, credo che avrei dovuto dire...
sigh, I'll never get it....oh well, I'd better stick to English.