Newsgroup: it.cultura.linguistica.inglese
Titolo: OT Pretty weird, isn't it

Didn't they teach you at school that the British Isles were by
and large a "safe haven" as far as earthquakes were concerned?
Apparently they no longer are, considering the series of earthquakes
that's been hitting the Manchester area since last Monday, whilst
earlier in September Birmingham and nearby areas experienced
something similar. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.
Here's a tongue-in-cheek report of the events which I happened
to find on another newsgroup. Hope it doesn't sound too cynical
or offensive - it was meant to be sort of self-mocking rather than
nasty!
At 08:50 on Monday 21 October an earthquake measuring 3.2 on the Richter
scale hit Manchester,UK causing untold disruption and distress
* Many were woken well before their giros arrived
* Several priceless cobbled streets were damaged
* Three areas of historically and scientifically significant litter were
disturbed
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the
fact that something interesting has happened in Manchester.
One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was
such a shock, little Chantal-Britney came running into my bedroom crying. My
youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it. I was still
shaking when I was watching Trisha and Kilroy later that morning."
Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 800 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the stricken masses.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
£2 buys chips, gravy and mushy peas and blue pop for a family of four
£10 can take a family to Stockport for the day, where children can play on
an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of shopping trolleys
22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim
£20 buys MCFC
PLEASE ACT NOW!!!!
Simply email us by return with your credit card details and we'll do the
rest!
If you prefer to donate cash, there are collection points available at your
local branches of Argos, Aldi and Clinton Cards"
Matteo

 scale hit Manchester,UK causing untold disruption and distress
[...]
Dear Matteo,
It has been, truly,  an exceptionally gruelling day for the undersigned.
Adding to other woes, an inability to log on for the entire afternoon. Not a
drop of bolly in sight. Not one, but two ailing canines. A maid who had a
funeral to attend ( a likely story!) and insisted on gracing us with her
presence to fulfil her duties at 5 minutes past the hour of seven in the
morning. Asinine law-enforcement officers forcing traffic down out humble
street only  to realise, far too late, but of course, that it is a senso
unico and they were directing them in the wrong direction....
In short, I trust am able to render the overall picture of the utter
distaste for these past 24 hours.
All vanished in mirth and merriment at the reading of your most excellent
post.
I thank you indeed for sharing. The undersigned certainly took no offence,
but then she doesn't hail from Manchester. she was able, on the other hand,
to have a jolly good laugh.
I remain, as always, etc., ecc.,
Bambi
dtb

 I thank you indeed for sharing.
My pleasure.
Cheers
Matteo
P.S. May I offer all my sympathy for the sheer ordeal you went through.
(Now you wouldn't expect this from a dull teetotaller, would you)
