Newsgroup: it.fan.culo
Titolo: fangooloo, mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist

Dear Cecil,
Do other languages have vulgarities and obscenities that are used in
conversation as they are in English? My husband worked in his youth
with Italian-speaking laborers and says the worst he ever heard them
say in Italian was "fangooloo." (He says that, contrary to popular
impression, this means only "make a tail," in other words, "show me
your back," or "go away."
I'm sure we've all heard of "merde," but do people speaking other
languages ever say anything stronger? If so, what? In particular, does
the now-common "F-word" have a counterpart in other languages? 
--Sally B., Boston
Cecil replies:
Honestly, Sally, were you raised in a convent? English obscenities are
a pale shadow of the invective used in other languages. The F-word is
the least of it. If there's a language that doesn't have an
equivalent, I've yet to hear about it. Poles have pierdolic, the
French foutre (from the Latin futuere), Soviet Georgians secems ...
you get the idea.
As for fangooloo (in my neighborhood we pronounced it fongool), I'm
afraid you've heard the expurgated translation. According to Kevin
Beary's Florentine Locutions (1991), it's properly spelled vaffanculo,
a contraction of va a fare in culo, and literally means "go do [it] in
the ass," i.e., bugger off, fuck off, fuck you. "Some Italians affirm
that the ass referred to is that of one's interlocutor, while others
assert that the orifice in question is not yours or mine or anyone's
in particular, but rather the universal anus," Beary says.
Vaffanculo is merely the best known of a rich tradition of Italian
oaths and imprecations, although the consensus is that Spanish is the
champ in this department. Herewith a few of the more printable
international classics, culled from the pages of Reinhold Aman's
Maledicta: The International Journal of Verbal Aggression:
Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist, "I shit on the five wounds of
Christ," Catalan. Even more bloodcurdling is Mecagum Deu, en la creu,
en el fuster que la feu i en el fill de puta que va plantar el pi, "I
shit on God, on the cross, on the carpenter who made it and on the son
of a whore who planted the pine."
Matumbo yangu huzaa maradhi, "My womb has born a disease," Swahili.
Said by a mother to a disobedient child.
La reputisima madre que te recontra mil pario, "The twice most whorish
mother that bore you again and again one thousand times," Spanish
(Argentina).
Krijg de mazelen, "May you get the measles," Dutch.
Mabial agpi-agpi ke mabial nganswang, "[You have] very short breasts
like the breasts of a porcupine," Dinga (spoken in Zaire). Or: Dem
inear-inear, "[You have a] greatly lined and wrinkled belly."
Melewe silom we ie maragus, "Your mother has yaws," Ulithian (Ulithi
is a coral atoll in the Pacific.) Also: Falfulul silom, "Your mother's
pubic tattooing!"
Bi damaghi babat rydam, "I shit on your father's nose," Farsi (Iran).
Also: Guz bi rishit, "May a fart be on your beard."
English isn't totally lacking in creative vulgarity. Sanford
Margalith, writing in Maledicta 10, fondly recalls the Southerners in
his World War Two artillery battalion who said things like, "I
wouldn't piss on his ass if his piles were on fire." Non-insults were
pretty snappy too: after a rough night on the town one soldier said he
felt like he had been "shot at and missed and shit at and hit."
Clearly we don't lack potential, just ambition.


cf. New Zealand: "Moan (=complain)?  You'd moan if I pissed in your ear when
your brains were on fire."
(stingy) "He wouldn't give you the steam off his shit", "Tight as a nun's
nasty."
(stupid) "Thick as pig-shit".