Newsgroup: it.fan.culo
Titolo: Kibo spiega MAME

Se qualcuno avesse ancora dubbi su chi sia la vera divinita' della rete...
Newsgroups:   alt.religion.kibology
From:         James "Kibo" Parry (
ki...@world.std.com
)
Subject:      Classic arcade games you've never played
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: 
http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3196 centons, 99 microns, 0.04 bozons
Date:         Wed, 15 Sep 1999 06:01:11 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
I read through the list of old arcade video games that you can now play on
your personal computer (thanks to a
program called MAME) and noticed that some of these games have silly titles:
 '99 The Last War 
    This classic game has a comeback every hundred years.
 280 ZZZAP 
    The enhanced, less-boring sequel to 280 ZZZ.
 4D Warrior 
    Armed with a sword the shape of a tesseract, you hack and slash your way
through polytopes while drinking magical potions from your Klein bottle!
 Act Fancer 
    That guy who plays Lt. Fancy on "Homicide" isn't trying any more... he
should try to Act Fancer.
 Ajax 
    The game with little blue dots that scrub away fingerprints. Off your
fingers, I mean.
 American Horseshoes 
    As opposed to all those other games of horseshoes popular throughout the
entire civilized world.
 Appoooh 
    This game simulates one of those digital talking diapers from Japan.
"WINNA! WINNA! YOU MAKE APPOOOH!"
 Ark Area 
    Can you escape from a fenced-in Usenet newsgroup full of weirdos?
 Arkanoid II: Revenge of Doh 
    Homer Simpson takes Doh's name in vain one too many times.
 ASO: Armored Scrum Object 
    "Waah! My sink is full of bubbles! I need new Scrubbing Scum, in this
can conveniently labelled 'Scrum'!"
 Atomic Point 
    The world's tiniest ultimate weapon, capable of completely destroying
the zeroth dimension.
 Balloon Bomber 
    Quick, drop the fluffy balloons on the evil ninjas!
 Birdie Try I 
    Spock whacks the Horta with a golf club, and it writes "BIRDIE TRY I" on
the cave floor.
 Blazer 
    Object: Wear a sporty jacket that matches your golf slacks!
 Block Hole 
    Disney's exciting science-fiction movie in which Amsterdam is saved by a
little boy who blocks the hole.
 Boxing Bugs 
    Oh, yeah, ants can PUNCH.
 Buck Rogers and the Planet of Zoom 
    Followed by Flesh Gordon and the Planet of Va-Va-Va-Voom.
 Caveman Ninja 
    I always preferred the other game, Ninja Caveman.
 Changes 
    The game of hot flashes.
 Cheeky Mouse 
    They never released the sequel: Kinky Gerbil.
 Chicken Shift 
    This game suckfs.
 Cotocoto Cottong 
    The game that answers the question, "What sound DOES it make when you
toss a pogo stick into a room filled with mousetraps?"
 Cook Race 
    A game created just for Howard Johnson's: The first player to get food
from the kitchen to the customers loses.
 Cosmo Gang - The Video 
    Hear rappers ask, "What nail polish should I wear to make my man better
in bed?"
 Crude Buster 
    Yet another game where you have to operate a petroleum cracking tower,
separating hexanes from heptanes one by one.
 Dangerous Seed 
    It's a kit you can take home to grow your own durian.
 Darwin 4078 
    "A WORLD WHERE DOLPHINS EVOLVED FROM ROY SCHEIDER?"
 Disco Number One 
    Dance while urinating!
 Fighting Golf 
    Help Bob Barker beat up Adam Sandler. (HOORAY!)
 Fitter 
    The entire game consists of a simple puzzle: How DO you fit the quarter
into the little slot?
 Frisky Tom 
    The cat who chases Cheeky Mouse and/or Kinky Gerbil.
 Funky Bee 
    How far does Funky Bee travel as it flies between Cheeky Mouse, Frisky
Tom, and Kinky Gerbil?
 Funny Mouse 
    Ah, so I assume they don't mean Mickey.
 Gardia 
    It's almost as much fun as that other one, Giardia.
 Go Go Mr. Yamaguchi 
    Can you get your daughter to skating practice on time?
 Goalie Ghost 
    Oh, yeah, I want my soccer team to have a goalie made of air.
 Gondomania 
    Now open in Boston's Gombat Zone!
 Gyrodine 
    Based on David Letterman's "Whirling Bowl Of Chili". (That was almost
twenty years ago, back when he actually did stuff.)
 Homo 
    I swear I am not making that one up.
 Hopper Robo 
    Not to be confused with Romper Hoom.
 Hyper Olympic 
    At the Hyper Olympics, the challenge is to see who can hold still the
longest.
 I'm Sorry 
    ...for releasing this video game.
 Irritating Maze 
    Most other randomly-generated mazes are pleasant fun.
 Jumping Islands 
    Quick! Make the land hop over the water!
 Kamikaze 
    Will it be "I'm sorry, you lose. You're dead." or "I'm sorry, you win.
You're dead."?
 Kram 
    The game that gives you only 24 hours to learn trigonometry before your
final exam. In your underwear.
 Le Bagnard 
    After France closes l'Ecole Polytechnique, the streets teem with
bagnerds!
 LED Storm 
    Watch out! It's raining blinking dots!
 Levers 
    The first game to have all-pushbutton controls.
 Lot Lot 
    Don't look back or you'll turn into salt salt.
 Macho Mouse 
    Why do I get the feeling that somewhere all of these mouse games are
lined up side by side singing "Y.M.C.A."?
 Mad Crasher 
    Stop Bill Gates before he causes another Blue Screen Of Death!
 Magical Drop 3 
    It's good to the first sequel to the last drop. Unfortunately, two
sequels was too many, so they should have dropped the cow.
 Marine Boy 
    Aw, how cute, a baby with a semiautomatic rifle!
 Megatack 
    "That's the second biggest pushpin I ever saw!"
 Mister Viking 
    They call me MISTER Viking! Don't forget it or I'll smite you!
 Moonwalker 
    Push the lever to make a giggling sisy with one glove dance backwards
and... wait, that's the actual description of the game. Never mind.
 Mystic Marathon 
    You're connected to your astral body by a silver cord 26 miles long...
 Nebulous Bee 
    Run away from the completely insubstantial bumblebee!
 Neo Drift Out 
    The sequel to a popular game where the object was to watch the monitor's
colors slowly drift out of convergence due to the Earth's weak yet steady
magnetic field.
 Night Stocker 
    Can you get all the boxes of cereal to face outwards before the elderly
people show up to buy groceries at 6:45 AM?
 Paddle Mania 
    This game is SPANKTASTIC!
 Palamedes 
    Sue Archimedes for palimony in this authentic re-creation of an exciting
ancient Greek tabloid news story!
 Phelios 
    The game based on the thrilling true life story of Mr. Rogers's
tricycle-riding mailman, Mr. McPhelios.
 Phozon 
    Phozons are particles that travel from big clown wigs to your eye. Wait,
those are bozons.
 Piranha 
    Can you hold perfectly still and refuse to do anything interesting
whenever an alt.religion.kibology party enters the room?
 Pleasure Goal 
    It's at the end of the Irritating Maze.
 Plotting 
    Thrill to the excitement as the pen moves along both the X and Y axes to
draw a scatter plot in the first video game from Hewlett-Packard!
 Pnickies 
    A game for girls, based on the Freudian concept of pnickies envy.
 Pomping World 
    They shouldn't have let Arnold Schwarzenegger title his own
weightlifting game.
 Pop 'n Bounce 
    First you pop the balloon, THEN you have to bounce it!
 Port Man 
    Can you help Port Man remember which side of the boat is which?
 Power Surge 
    The game that explodes when you plug it in.
 Prehistoric Isle in 1930 
    1930? Wow, that IS ancient.
 Relief Pitcher 
    At the hospital they usually call it a "duck".
 Repulse 
    The game's only input is an ugliness sensor.
 Rip Off 
    Hey, this quarter slot's not connected to a game!
 Rodland 
    Escape from the planet of obnoxious guys who can't pick a hair color!
 Satan of Saturn 
    This was before the movie "Event Horizon" conclusively proved that Satan
lives on Neptune.
 Scion 
    Can you graft plant tissues to create exciting hybrid roses before the
clock runs out?
 Scrambled Egg 
    Can you unscramble the egg before time runs out?
 Sega Ninja 
    Your mission: Infiltrate corporate headquarters and assassinate the CEO
of Nintendo.
 Shackled 
    The game where you stay chained to the wall the whole time.
 Shuuz 
    I'm waiting for the sequel, Soqz.
 Sichuan II 
    This time the food's even spicier!
 Slap Fight 
    Watch as Emo Philips tries to beat up Pauly Shore!
 Smash TV 
    One wonders why this machine always has a broken monitor.
 Snacks'n Jaxson 
    A crunchy blend of little cheese crackers, pretzels, peanuts, and one
sequined glove.
 Speak & Rescue 
    Can you save the people who are trapped inside an inarticulate Texas
Instruments toy? "NOW SPELL... BLFFRRR!!!"
 Speed Freak 
    After level 12 it's hard to find anywhere else to stick the needle in.
 Springer 
    Hide behind the old ladies in your audience as carefully-scripted
spontaneous mayhem erupts between obnoxious jerks.
 Star Jacker 
    I'M TAKING THIS RED GIANT TO CUBA!!!
 Sundance 
    Can your little film festival make more money than Paul Newman's popcorn
farm?
 Super Bond 
    Mission: Develop an adhesive powerful enough to keep Roger Moore's
toupee attached.
 Super Dodge Ball 
    It's even MORE fun than playing dodge ball in gym class.
 Super Real Darwin 
    The first robot dolphin to fool even Steven Spielberg.
 Surprise Attack 
    It starts out like Pac-Man, but then the pink ghost throws a grenade in
your lap.
 The Electric Yo-Yo 
    Tom Wolfe's fascination with bright shiny spinning objects, now in
convenient game form.
 The End 
    This is the only game with a fixed amount of play time per quarter.
Actually, you can play it for just as long even if you don't have a quarter.
 The Glob 
    To win, you have to figure out: What IS this thing in your Campbell's
Chunky Soup?
 The Real Ghostbusters 
    This video game is actually a documentary, unlike that made-up
"Ghostbusters" movie.
 The Simpsons 
    Unfortunately, this game's graphics were so primitive that they had to
make Bart's skin pink instead of fluorescent yellow.
 ThunderJaws 
    Another Saturday-morning toy commercial from the makers of JabberCats.
 Time Tunnel 
    No matter what you do, your clothes always turn back to a green
turtleneck sweater at the end of every level.
 Toggle 
    You win the even-numbered games, you lose the other ones.
 Trigon 
    To win, you have to think of a new name for a shape with three sides.
 Trog 
    Can you get Joan Crawford to be in your cheap caveman movie?
 Tropical Angel 
    You're distributing a cheap soft drink to convenience stores, when
suddenly your business is ruined by rumors that it contains PCP!
 Twin Bee 
    The Popsicle that makes your mouth hurt.
 Two Crude 
    ...and then you get banned from television.
 U.N. Squadron 
    Your mission: Find a spot in Iraq where there isn't a crater...
 Undokai 
    It's the opposite of dokai!
 Vapor Trail: Hyper Offence Formation 
    P.U.! Someone's been eating garbanzos!
 Varth 
    Also starring Skuke Lyewalker.
 Video Hustler 
    Get your wheelchair up all those steps into the Supreme Court before
Courtney Love overdoses.
 Vulcan Venture 
    This new business represents a logical investment of your outstanding
capital.
 Wardner 
    "D'you mind if I mosey on outta this here jail, Wardner?"
 West Story 
    A musical about the wonderful world of gangs, now one-third shorter.
 Wiping 
    Captain's Log: Mr. Whipple has come aboard, and we are orbiting Uranus
to wipe out Klingons...
 Wizard of Wor 
    Sigmund Freud, Johnny Hart, and L. Frank Baum collaborated on a theory
that the human mind is divided up into Id, Wor, and Oz.
 World Court 
    Put Pac-Man on trial for his crimes against humanity.
 Wrestle War 
    It's the United States Army versus some guys on steroids!
 Xexex 
    The game that's also a copy machine.
 Yam Yam!? 
    Popeye gives up on spinach and just eats sweet potatoes, shouting "I yam
what I yam!"
 Zed Blade 
    Help Zorro learn to write his name in British English.
 Zodiack 
    Work magick in this game for womyn fortunetellers.
 Zzyzzyxx 
    The game that was holding the door when they were passing out names.
                                                -- K.
                                               And I can kick your butt
                                               at any of these games.
-- 
vb.          [v.bertola(at)
bertola.eu.org
 - M*RZ*'s Pusher User]<--------
----> 
http://bertola.eu.org/
    [Conan, Mononoke Hime e molto altro]<----
--------> 
http://www.poli.studenti.to.it/prometeo/
    [Progetto Prometeo]

    Don't look back or you'll turn into salt salt.
ROTFLISSIMO!
Il massimo e' che mi fa ghignare pur senza capire tutto del post e
senza aver mai giocato al 99 per cento dei giochi. Peccato che McLink
non mclinki gli alt.*
Ciao
Elrond
-- 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    The game that's also a copy machine.
-- 


non mclinki gli alt.*
io continuo a dirtelo di buttare MClink.... :P
-- 
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