Newsgroup: it.fan.culo
Titolo: [OT] ma piacera' a keroppi (speriamo)

***
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I
have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge
with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and
how to best follow them.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with
this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are
around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but
not Canadians. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.
***
Tee-hee,
Isa
-- 
Secondo. Pensavo: ma il fatto che tra fanculer ci apprezziamo così
tanto, sarà mica anche perché non ci conosciamo abbastanza?
(Vecchio fancooler, dicembre 2000)

 ***
[snip]
Ah! Ricordi dolorosi!
Per una risposta fuori posto allo stessa cosa mi hanno bannato per ben
due [o era una?] settimane dalla ml di scontro da errantist ed
inerrantist biblici.
Che avevo detto? Forse "What the hell.."
Ecco, si`, anche io, pero` andare a "bestemmiare" in una ml del genere...
Il fanculo pero` va all'estate finita, quante ml assurde riuscivo a
seguire.
-- 
"Quid iuvat innumerabiles libros possidere et bibliothecas, quarum
 dominus vix tota vita indices perlegere possit?" 
                                                  -- Seneca

 Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law.
[cut]
Thank you for your inquiry. As you know, there is one and only way to
be a decent human being. My way...er, I mean God's way. It is both a
gift and a burden to wear the title One Appointed Arbiter of What God
Wants, but I do it for the sake of truth, righteousness and killer
press clippings. I hope you're properly grateful.
A. Ignore your neighbor. In the pursuit of righteousness, we cannot
allow minor distractions like other people's needs or feelings.
Remember - the odor of a lot of bull has gotten me my own TV show.
B. The fair price for any human being is whatever the highest bidder is
willing to pay. If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for your
daughter. Probably too good for her. Maybe you'd better throw in that
herb mill to seal the deal.
C. Why are these menstruating women out in public? What sort of Sodom
and Gomorrah hellhole are you living in, anyway? They should be at home
taking care of their children! (Unless, of course, they have a
nationally syndicated radio show and a TV show. We are held to a
different standard.)
D. Your friend is right. Buy your slaves from Mexico. The standard in
all cases should be that people are rated according to how much they
are like Dr. Laura, One Appointed Arbiter of What God Wants. Since
Canadians look like me and speak my language (almost), they are
obviously of a higher order of human beings and should not be enslaved
until all those dark, Spanish-speaking people have been used up.
E. You already know what to do about that heathen neighbor who works on
the sabbath - Call my radio show for advice and be grateful when I
treat you like sh!t. What? Are you new at this?
F. Go with the homosexuals as the biggest abomination. Trust me - I
ranted for years about the shellfish thing and never got a TV show
until I started in on gays.
G. What happened to your eyesight? Never mind. I can guess. Obviously
you're guilty of Onan's much bigger sin. The altar of God is closed to
you.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Laura
--
much appreciated.
perche' a scuola non ho mai avuto una maestra come te? :)
keroppi
icq 16546846
www.geocities.com/rosacrux
"every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good"
Monty Phyton's The meaning of Life
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

Dr. Laura
ROTFLMAO
(perche' non hai avuto una maestra come me...? Perche' sei stato
fortunato, mi sembra evidente...)
