Newsgroup: it.fan.startrek
Titolo: Meglio Janeway di Picard??

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Trovato questo file in qualche server remoto.
Purtroppo non ho avuto abbastanza tempo per tradurlo, ma credo che sia
abbastanza comprensibile anche in inglese.
(Notevoli le motivazioni 24,25,26 e 5 [vedi 
dott.sa
 Crusher ne 'I
Traditori....'])                                
         REASONS WHY CAPTAIN JANEWAY IS BETTER THAN CAPTAIN PICARD
  1. One word: hair
  2. More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined.
     (10)
  3. Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
  4. Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
  5. Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
  6. Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
  7. Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 0
  8. Voyager needs a female Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit
     they're lost and pull over for directions. (1)
  9. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way
     through. (2)
 10. Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
 11. Looks better in sleepwear. (2)
 12. Gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud.
 13. Isn't French with an English accent. (3)
 14. "Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either,
     but I loved that line!
 15. Will give you two days off to ponder your lifeshattering experience.
     (3)
 16. Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to
     convince them to behave better. (4)
 17. To comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way.
     Picard sings a song...in French...about a monk...who can't wake up for
     morning bells.
 18. The only children on Voyager can be turned off at will.
 19. Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo. (4)
 20. She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way. (4)
 21. Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles. (5)
 22. Ackowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of
     trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
 23. 15 episodes without surrendering the ship.
 24. 15 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.
 25. Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs.
     Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniouses who yet again take
     over the ship.
 26. She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.(5)
 27. Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood
     Forest. However, if she did, she would look fantastic! (based on 5 and
     6)
 28. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt;
     Janeway would look... no, they can't do that on network television.
     (based on 5, 6, 7)
 29. Cheese
 30. Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend in
     with a primitive planet. (5)
 31. She doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in
     the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.
 32. Her engineer does not wear a bananna clip over her eyes.
 33. Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
 34. Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!).
 35. Her telepath only lives nine years. (12)
 36. Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone
     before" and took them to the extreme. (based on 5)
 37. Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day
     come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the
     deadliest of force".
 38. Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail. (based on 5,6)
 39. The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only
     Worf could stomach. (9)
 40. Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off. (9)
 41. Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
     (10)
 42. Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris,
     are YOU ever stupid." (10)
 43. Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself!
 44. Hugs her Vulcan from time to time. (10)
 45. Has a more manly voice.(13)
 46. Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
     (11)
 47. Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish! (11)
 48. Kes. Troi. No contest.
 49. Nealix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
 50. At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she
     wants something to drink.
 51. Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles. (12)
 52. Her CONN officer actually went through the Academy. (12)
 53. Her CONN officer can use contractions.
 54. Her first officer has a halucinogenic device.
 55. None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to take over the
     ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all
     humankind.
 56. To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her
     spirit guide. Picard's first officer helps him get... to Risa.
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<html><head></head><BODY bgcolor=3D"#FFFFFF"><p><font size=3D4 =
color=3D"#000000" face=3D"Arial">Trovato questo file in qualche server =
remoto.<br>Purtroppo non ho avuto abbastanza tempo per tradurlo, ma =
credo che sia abbastanza comprensibile anche in inglese.<br>(Notevoli le =
motivazioni 24,25,26 e 5 [vedi 
dott.sa
 Crusher ne 'I Traditori....']) =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&=
nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&n=
bsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;REASONS WHY CAPTAIN =
JANEWAY IS BETTER THAN CAPTAIN PICARD<br><br> &nbsp;1. One word: =
hair<br> &nbsp;2. More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding =
officers combined.<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(10)<br> &nbsp;3. Drinks =
coffee, not that sissy &quot;Earl Grey&quot; stuff.<br> &nbsp;4. Beams =
down to the planet like real Captains should.<br> &nbsp;5. Mutes the =
doctor when the doctor gets out of line.<br> &nbsp;6. Hasn't let an =
adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.<br> &nbsp;7. Commanded =
ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 0<br> &nbsp;8. Voyager needs a female =
Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;they're lost and pull over for directions. =
(1)<br> &nbsp;9. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to =
punch her way<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;through. (2)<br> 10. Hasn't =
quoted Shakespeare -- yet.<br> 11. Looks better in sleepwear. (2)<br> =
12. Gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud.<br> 13. =
Isn't French with an English accent. (3)<br> 14. &quot;Take this cheese =
to sickbay!&quot; I don't know why this is here, either,<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;but I loved that line!<br> 15. Will give you two =
days off to ponder your lifeshattering experience.<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(3)<br> 16. Janeway says &quot;I don't like =
you!&quot; to her enemies instead of trying to<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;convince them to behave better. (4)<br> 17. To =
comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way.<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Picard sings a song...in French...about a =
monk...who can't wake up for<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;morning =
bells.<br> 18. The only children on Voyager can be turned off at =
will.<br> 19. Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo. (4)<br> 20. She =
doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way. (4)<br> =
21. Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles. (5)<br> 22. Ackowledges =
freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;trying to weasle her way out of it with =
philosophical ramblings.<br> 23. 15 episodes without surrendering the =
ship.<br> 24. 15 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.<br> 25. =
Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs.<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil =
geniouses who yet again take<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;over the =
ship.<br> 26. She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she =
stands.(5)<br> 27. Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked =
about in Sherwood<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Forest. However, if she =
did, she would look fantastic! (based on 5 and<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;6)<br> 28. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; =
Picard looked good without a shirt;<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Janeway =
would look... no, they can't do that on network television.<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(based on 5, 6, 7)<br> 29. Cheese<br> 30. =
Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend =
in<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;with a primitive planet. (5)<br> 31. She =
doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.<br> =
32. Her engineer does not wear a bananna clip over her eyes.<br> 33. =
Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.<br> 34. =
Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!).<br> 35. Her telepath =
only lives nine years. (12)<br> 36. Janeway heard the words &quot;boldly =
go where no man (er, woman) has gone<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;before&quot; and took them to the extreme. =
(based on 5)<br> 37. Picard tells alien cultures, &quot;I hope our two =
cultures will one day<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;come to a greater =
understanding.&quot; Janeway threatens them with &quot;the<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;deadliest of force&quot;.<br> 38. Janeway's =
Security Chief would never grow a ponytail. (based on 5,6)<br> 39. The =
high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Worf could stomach. (9)<br> 40. Janeway doesn't =
have to point which way to go when they set off. (9)<br> 41. Maintains =
an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(10)<br> 42. Has mastered facial expression =
understood by all to mean, &quot;Boy, Paris,<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;are YOU ever stupid.&quot; (10)<br> 43. Cheese =
cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself!<br> 44. Hugs her =
Vulcan from time to time. (10)<br> 45. Has a more manly voice.(13)<br> =
46. Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight =
spot.<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(11)<br> 47. Has a dog and a =
significant other, not some damn fish! (11)<br> 48. Kes. Troi. No =
contest.<br> 49. Nealix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.<br> 50. =
At least she doesn't have to yell &quot;Hot!&quot; at her cook every =
time she<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;wants something to drink.<br> 51. =
Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles. (12)<br> 52. Her CONN =
officer actually went through the Academy. (12)<br> 53. Her CONN officer =
can use contractions.<br> 54. Her first officer has a halucinogenic =
device.<br> 55. None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to =
take over the<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ship, invade the Federation, =
steal a starship, or enslave all<br> =
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;humankind.<br> 56. To help her relax, Janeway's =
first officer helps her contact her<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;spirit =
guide. Picard's first officer helps him get... to =
Risa.<br><br>------------------------------------------------------------=
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...


abbastanza comprensibile anche in inglese.
Considerato che, tutto sommato, il testo è divertente, sarei felice di
tradurlo io per chi  non conosce l'inglese, tuttavia...
1) Solo chi ha visto almeno qualche episodio di VOY potrebbe trovarlo
interessante (e credo siamo pochini...)
2) Prima di postare circa 200 (!) righe solo per far fare due risate,
IO chiederei il parere degli altri partecipanti a questo NG... ;-)
Attendo risposta...
Happy Trekkin'!
THX 1138