Newsgroup: it.fan.startrek
Titolo: Borg Jokes

Here's another one, check it out....
Q. Does anybody know which song Picard has been dreaming every night since
he was assimilated by the Borg ? 
A. "BORG IN THE U.S.S, I was BORG..."



=========
Wrong. The song was: "BORG to be kings...princeps of the Universe..." :)
Cheers
Ervino
-------------------------------------------------
|        Ervino Cus                      Giornalista Pubblicista  |
|  
erv...@interware.it
               Freelance Journalist    |
-------------------------------------------------
|   "Errare humanum est, sed perseverare diabolicum"   |
-------------------------------------------------

 A. "BORG IN THE U.S.S, I was BORG..."
I was BORG, BORG, BORG, BORG to be alive...

Q: What say the Borg Queen when they conquer a new solar system?
A: "A Star is BORG"...


Q:  How do you destroy the new starship "Titanic" (NCX-48654)
A:  With a Nice Borg!

Wrong. The song was: "BORG to be kings...princeps of the Universe..." :)
O my God... a universe full of     Natural BORG Killers  !!!
Ciao
Nicola
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes too!"

A:  With a Nice Borg!
We-ell, since I have a file of Borg jokes, I just had to post them...  :>
BORG JOKES
We are Deter of Borg:  Now is the time on Sprockets when we assimilate.
We are Heisenborg:  You will probably be assimilated. 
We are Pentium of Borg:  Division is fultile.  You will be approximated.
We are Hugh of Borg:  We wish to assimilate Troi.  Geordi is our friend.  
                                     He can watch.
Yoda of Borg are we:  Futile is resistance.  Assimilate you, we will.
We are Trebek of Borg:  For $200, it's futile and starts with R.
We are Ebola of Borg:  Vaccines are irrelvant.  We are resistant.  
We are Rambo of Borg:  Resistance is the desease.  We are the cure.
We are Bjorn of Borg:  Your serve will be returned.  You will be humiliated.  
                                     Advancement is futile.
We are McCoy of Borg:  He's assimilated, Jim!
We are Fudd of Borg:  Pwepawre to be aswimiwated.
We are Porky of Borg:  You will be as... assa... assim... oh, forget it.
BorgerKing:  We do it our way.  Your way is irrelevant.

  A:  With a Nice Borg!
with a swedish tennis racket ??




We are Heisenborg:  You will probably be assimilated. 
ROTFL
Fondly
  Florian
---
"Change the world before someone else does it for you." 
     J. M. Straczynski

 Chandler of Borg: "Could I _be_ more assimilated?"
How 'bout Shatner of Borg:  "*You*....Will....Be....Assimilated!"

   Florian
How about Cobain of Borg: "Here we are now, assimilated us."

How about Cobain of Borg: "Here we are now, assimilated us."
Chandler of Borg: "Could I _be_ more assimilated?"

We are Heisenborg:  You will probably be assimilated. 


How 'bout Shatner of Borg:  "*You*....Will....Be....Assimilated!"
Spock of Borg: I am and will be... assmililated. A search is useless...
-- 
Literatur online: 
http://www.swbv.uni-konstanz.de/wwwroot/olli.html
Oliver Gassner    ---    mailto:
fra...@poboxes.com

We are Wesley of Borg. You will be nauseated.
Neville Young
nevi...@globalnet.co.uk


    we are victor borg.  you will be titillated.


Pauly of Borg: "Resistance is FU-tile...You will be ass-IM-I-laaated,
buuuuu-DY"
-- 
My page! Seen perfection lately?
http://www.cybrtyme.com/personal/bfoster
National Computer Outlet
http://www.cybrtyme.com/personal/bfoster/nco.htm
My UFO page. We are not alone
http://www.cybrtyme.com/personal/bfoster/ufo.htm

I am Hamlet of Borg...You are to be, or not to be, assimilated
Best Regards,
Mark
-- 
Mark Nicholson
Optima Research                 Tel   +44 (0 in UK) 1279 836050
3a Bullfields                   Fax   +44 (0 in UK) 1279 836051
SAWBRIDGEWORTH                  Email 
ma...@optima.demon.co.uk
CM21 9DB                        Web   
http://www.optima.co.uk/
United Kingdom

 Spock of Borg: I am and will be... assmililated. A search is useless...
Hoffentlich war der noch nicht hier:
"Yoda of Borg am I. Assimilate you we will. Resistance futile is."
:-)
mfg
Jens

I am Pentium of BORG, division is futile, you will be approximated.
Grtz Niels
----------------------------------
| Niels Basjes - Ni...@Basjes.nl |
| 
http://www.wirehub.nl/~basjesn
 |
----------------------------------
| "I doubt,therefore I might be" |
----------------------------------
| -------> NO SPAMMING! <------- |
----------------------------------


We are Beverly Crusher Of Borg; You will be Medicated.
We are Deanna Troi Of Borg; You will be Beta Zoided :)
--

 wrote:
: > 
: > >How about Cobain of Borg: "Here we are now, assimilated us."
: > 
: > Chandler of Borg: "Could I _be_ more assimilated?"
: Pauly of Borg: "Resistance is FU-tile...You will be ass-IM-I-laaated,
: buuuuu-DY"
If there was a Pauly of Borg I'm sure that the Borg would not have survived
long.  Every world in the entire galaxy would certainly focus solely on 
destroying the Borg.

...
i am Bush of borg, read my lips: you will be assimilated
-- 
Freddy
This was perfectly true,and a very respectable view widely
held by right-thinking people, who are largely recognizable as 
being right-thinking people by the mere fact that they hold this view.



"I am David Duke of Borg; you will be discriminated."
Kevin Miller
"Jazz is not dead; it just smells funny" -- Frank Zappa


    Ratt and I were hunkered down on the ridgeline, overlooking the
valley below.  I stood by with the shotgun mike while Ratt scanned
the terrain with binoculars.  "Psst, Larr," she hissed.  "There
they are.  Estimate enemy force is battalion strength... wait a
sec..."
    I took a last drag on my cigarette and crushed it out.  Ratt
continued, "... bearing zero-three-zero... pocket protectors,
toy phasers, Klingon makeup.  Yup, confirm OPFOR.  I say again,
we have Trekkies."  I aimed the mike and adjusted my headphones.
Easy... there.  As I adjusted the gain I began to pick up a 
faint gneeing sound.  We waited tensely.  Then I heard it.  I
fought a wave of nausea as the mike picked up the nasal screech 
of one of them: "Why did the Borg cross the road?"  The massed
horde chorused, "Why?"  The reply came: "To assimilate the other
side!"
    I ripped off the headphones to avoid hearing their horrible
braying laughter.  I slapped Ratt's leg.  "Where's the radio?"
Half-empty tequila bottles clinked as she rummaged through her 
rucksack.  "Aw, fuck," she said.  "I think I... oops, no, here
it is."  I grabbed the radio from her and called Suicide and
Lemming, orbiting at the IP a klick behind us.
    "Smasher flight, this is Hazmat Six.  Do you read?"  Lemming's
voice crackled back.  "Hazmat Six, Smasher One.  What's up?"  Ratt
fumbled with her situation map, then elbowed me and pointed. 
I replied, "Smasher One, target Trekkies, grid CX, 100 meters 
southwest of the treeline.  No friendlies in the area, you're
cleared in hot."
    "Roger, Hazmat Six.  Time on target fifteen seconds.  In
hot."  We watched as the two A-10 Thunderbolt IIs screamed 
over the ridge and whipped down into the valley.  The crowd of
Trekkies disappeared in a cloud of dust and debris as Suicide
and Lemming opened up with their GAU-8 Avenger 30mm cannons.
"Eat hot lead, you pathetic geeks!" Ratt chortled.
    I thumbed the transmit switch.  "Smasher flight, Hazmat Six.
Sierra Hotel, guys.  Some of them are still twitching, though.  
Give 'em a couple of mark eighty-fours."  "Roger, Hazmat Six,"
Lemming replied.  The A-10s pulled up in a graceful formation 
chandelle, and I lit another smoke as they wheeled in on their
bombing run.
ljd

bombing run.
We are Doering of Borg. You will be complicated.
Neville Young
nevi...@globalnet.co.uk

Any one know the definitive answer to "How many Borg does it take
to change a light bulb?" ..?
The only one I can think of is:
"None. Darkness is irrelevant. Lightbulbs will be obsolete in the new
order."
Just a thought :)
-- 
Paul.
The above does not necessarily reflect the views of my employer
To email, remove the x from the front of the stated address

Dan Beacom (
bea...@juno.com
) wrote:
: I remember seeing this sig file:
: We are Homer of Borg.  Resistance is futile. You will be assimmm...
: Mmmmmm Donuts.
 [SNIP]
: >We are Porky of Borg:  You will be as... assa... assim... oh, forget it.
: >
: >BorgerKing:  We do it our way.  Your way is irrelevant.
: >
: >
: >
How about: 
We are 
--
Paul Boulton
Algal Research            _      . . .
Biological Sciences   /         ._\|/_ . 
Durham University        \   . . ./|\. .
South Road                  ._\|/.._\|/_.
Durham                 /      /|\. ./|\.
England DH1 3LE              ' '     ' '
e-mail 
p.n.g....@durham.ac.uk
Phone UK (0191) 374 2419
Fax   UK (0191) 374 2427
Mobile   (0370) 90 33 64
Computer Fairs (North)
45 Fenwick Street
Boldon
South Tyneside
NE35 9HU
Fax  (0191) 537 2049
Tel  (0370) 90 33 64
email 
p.n.g....@durham.ac.uk

"I am Training Manager of Borg, please don't forget to complete the
assimilation evaluation form."
--Neil K. 
"Believing oneself to be perfect
 is often the sign of a delusional mind"

...

Beavis and Borghead:  "Assimilation like, sucks, huh-huh-huh..."

Alanis of Borg: "Isn't it robotic?  Don't you think?"

Kosh of Borg: You have always been assimilated.
Robin Cook of Borg: Decision is futile. We will be elected.
Sinatra of Borg: Start spreading the news. We're assimilating today. You
will be 
be a part of it: the Borg, the Borg.
Stroustrup of Borg: Functional programming is irrelevant. You will be
instantiated.


 
ROTFLMFAO!
 ROTFLMFAO! 
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!  
{oooh, boy, it's been a while since I laughed totears!}
Chris

 Kosh of Borg: You have always been assimilated.
Kosh #2: The assimilation has already started, it is too late for the resistance 
to vote.

  <snip>
-----------------
I like this one, 
	I am Boris of Borg.  Moose and Squirrel are irrelevant
Denise
Witsend Productions
"nothing mundane"
http://www.snapdragongifts.com
"I will not get very far with this attitude"

order."
Oh, you guys have done it now.  This is just the excuse I need to post my 
light bulb file :>
LIGHT BULB JOKES
How many CARDASSIANS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four, because THREE...ARE...FOUR...LIGHTS...!!! 
How many BORG does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them.
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?  
None of your business, huu-mahn !!!   
How many CARDASSIANS does it take to change a light bulb?  
We don't need a light bulb, but if we did, we could take it from you!  
How many BAJORANS does it take to change a light bulb?   
The filthy Cardassians took our light bulb! 
How many KLINGONS does it take to change a light bulb?   
Burned out light bulbs have NO honor. 
And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!  
What happened to the KLINGON who did change the light bulb?
He was executed for cowardice.
How many TRILLS does it take to change a light bulb?   
Both of them.  
How many BORG does it take to change a light bulb?    
Light bulbs are irrelevant. Changing them is futile.  
How many BETAZIODS does it take to change a light bulb?  
I sense it has already changed.   
How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb?   
We have been gone for a while, but we have returned to change it. 
How many Q's does it take to change a light bulb?    
Here now, wouldn't you rather have this nice supernova?   
How many ODO's does it take to change a light bulb?    
I will change INTO the light bulb. 
How many TRIBBLES does it take to change a light bulb?  
1,561,772 .......uhh, 73..., ummm, 74..., 75....    
How many PROPHETS does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulbs are disruptive... intrusive....
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends.  How much?
How many ORGANIANS does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they glow in the dark.

 __                                             _______________________  __
(__| STARFLEET ACADEMY COMMUNICATION NET REPLY |_______________________||__)
Vi> > >We are Wesley of Borg. You will be nauseated.
Vi> >     we are victor borg.  you will be titillated.
Vi> We are Beverly Crusher Of Borg; You will be Medicated.
Vi> We are Deanna Troi Of Borg; You will be Beta Zoided :)
We are Helmut Kohl of Borg: You will be reunioned!
We are Dole of Borg: You will be doled!
 __  __________________________________________________                  __
(__||__________________________________________________| THOMAS SAHLING |__)
 
http://www.rz.uni-frankfurt.de/~jzeiger/startrek/trek.html

 wrote:
: >We are Wesley of Borg. You will be nauseated.
: >
:     we are victor borg.  you will be titillated.
hey, anyone compiling these?? - could ya send me them??
here's one i came up with
 We are Spock of Borg, you will be fasinated
--
                     !!!!!
                    (/O-O\)
               .ooo (  U  ) ooo.
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
-      From 'Big Pete' a.k.a 'The Phantom'      -
-      E-MAIL : 
Pha...@Spods.Dcs.Kcl.Ac.Uk
     -
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
                   _(_) (_)_
                  (___) (___)

 wrote in article 


Nevroes BoRG <highly depressed speech>: 
"Attention Humans. We are the Nevroes BoRG.
Resistance is futile. Strength is irrilevant. Discussion is futile.
Life is futile. Death is irrilevant.
We won't assimilate you, because we are fed up with all <bleep>
universe..."
* They selfdestroy *
*** otherwise *** (dlen-dlen-dlon! (on three different notes).
 
BoRG <passionless speech>: "You will be assimilated. Resistance is
futile".
Marvin the Robot ((c) D. Adams): "Everything is futile, blah! Universe
sucks".
BoRG assimilate Marvin and immediately self destruct.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Already present in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"...
Vogon: "Resistance is useless". He; it seems axactly that...) :p
 
=============================================
 Hyo: "Nel nome delle leggi naturali e 
 celesti, TI VIETO".
 <monster self-destruction sequence enabled>
Mostro: *Ssha - ka-boom - pif* <it vanishes>
=============================================
********************************************
 E-lalla-lalla-rumba-kamandalind-orburu'me"
                  (Ancient Entish mumbling)
********************************************

How about:
We are Bill Gates of Borg. You HAVE been assimilated. You just don't 
know it yet.
Anyone know of Ritz Camera? They like to buy camera stores:
We are the Ritz. You will be assimilated.
Your camera store will adapt itself to service ours.
We will add your technological and photological distictiveness to our 
own.
Resistance is futile (our lawers see to that!)

                           Team AMIGA
Create your own opportunity.  Blackmail a senior executive.

 
YES!
How many CARDASSIANS does it take to change a lightbulb?
<just one; however they first have to determine how many light bulbs they
see.>
How many BORG does it take to change a lightbulb?
<Light bulbs are irrelevant. Darkness is irrelevant, Changing them is
futile.>
<They don't change the light bulb, they assimilate it . . .>
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?  
<Two: one to change it, and the other to sell the old bulb as an antique.>
<Two:one to change it and one to sell the old one as new>
<None: they'll just sell the whole lamp to some young Starfleet Ensign.>
<Just one, but he'll charge you double for it.>
<Feringi Never change!!>
<For the right price, as many as you want.>
<None...they steal it and sell it for profit >
How many KLINGONS does it take to change a light bulb?   
<None, they need a Cardassian to figure it out for them.>
<None.  Klingons can fight in the dark>
How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb?   
<Two, one to do it, and another to kill the first one and take the credit
for it!>
<Three: one to change the bulb and two to guard him so the Federation
doesn't
steal the secret.>
How many Q's does it take to change a light bulb?    
<One.  He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.>
<Change it into what?>
How many ORGANIANS does it take to change a light bulb?
<they ARE the light bulb.>
How many VULCANS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<One: Any more would be illogical.>
<Approximately 1.0000000000000>
How many WESLEY CRUSHERS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<None.  He's that good.>
 
How many HOLODECK CHARACTERS does it take to change a light bulb?
<They ARE the light bulb.  And the coffee table.  And the door mat...>
How many EMPATHS does it take to change a light bulb?
<Well, the bulb has to really want to be changed.>
How many Klingons Terrorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Two:  One to put it in, and the other to kill the first one.  But the
first one died honorably>
How many Romulans does it take to change a transtator?
<Two: One to change the transtator and the other to blow up the ship in
disgrace>
How many STAR FLEET officers does it take to change a light bulb?
<Two.  One to change the light bulb, and the other to die shortly after
they beam down.>
<none, it would be interfering with the natural development of the light
bulb>
How many federation scientists does it take to replace a light bulb?
<Six.  One to fill out the environmental impact statement, One to fill out
a cost analysis, one to request the light bulb, one to do a labor study,
one to do a post installation followup study, and one to follow up on the
follow ups. A robot actually replaces the bulb.>
How many WORFS does it take to change a light bulb?
<Two: one to point a phaser at it and the other to changing it!!!>
how many TAMARIANS does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
<Sylvania, when the lamp failed.>
 
How long does it take Data and Rayna Kapec to screw in a light bulb?
<Your guess is as good as mine> (Rayna Kapec is the android built by
Flint)
How long does it take Data and Deanna to screw in a Light bulb?
<Till she passes out.>
How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb 
<Two but it is an illogical waste of effort to construct a light bulb for
such a purpose>
How many TRIBBLES does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<One but all you have to do is feed it>
How does a TAMARIAN say the light bulb is burned out?
<Sylvania, when the lamp failed.>
What do you do with an old light bulb?
<feed it to a Horta>
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb on DS9?
<one-Rom>
<two-Odo and Kira>
<three-Worf, Jadiza, and Dax>
<Quark how many do you want, One strip each>

We are Burns of Borg. Smithers! Assimilate them!
How many NANITES does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but how did they get in there?

How many Founders does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them, but they change it into a human.
How many Pakleds does it take to change a light bulb?
None.  They need Geordi.  Geordi is smart.
How many Vidians does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it, they just graft on the parts they need from one
that still works.
How many V'ger Probes does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it first has to merge with Thomas Edison.
Well, it's getting late and I have a dead horse to beat...
Eric Fickas

 >
 "We are Pamela Anderson of Borg. You will be implanted."
-- 
**************************
DIE, OMID KHEILTASH, DIE
DIE, YOU FILTHY WHORE, DIE
**************************
 -=UDIC=- Evangelion Dragon
 Just nothing more that a sig file, nevermind.

 --
 "We are the Rapist of Borg. Pepper spray is irrelevant."


 
Eric,
I understand that's illegal in most states with the exception of Nebraska
where it is legal.  But only if you're not married to it.
-- 
Peter Pan
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me...
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
drink up me hearties, yo ho!
"There is no problem too big that we can't ignore
if we tried hard enough."  -  King Ralph


 What does that mean...?


We are Dole of Borg: You will be doled!
Who said Germans didn't have a sense of humour?

One last heave...
How many Starfleet Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If you run a phased inverse tachyon burst through the main emitter
array
grid and multiplex it with a subspace standing wave locked back into a 
diagnostic mode filter, you'll bleed off most of the static warpfield
instabilities through the higher verteron harmonics of the decchyon field
and get at least another 60 Watts out of the old one.


Beavis and Borghead:  "Assimilation like, sucks, huh-huh-huh..."
We are Borg 5-0, Assimilate 'em Danno.

 
Ummm.. stop me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that Worf (and many other
Klingons) believe that terrorists are"dishonorable". So how would a
"Klingon Terrorist" exist...? Check ep "For the Cause" after Kassidy met
up with the Maquis...
heheh... more useless nit-picking... :)
-Major Bar
-- 
*************************************************************
*"If silence is a weapon, then I am defenseless!"	    *
*				   	   -unknown	    *
*							    *
*"If terrorists are tourists with guns, are tourists        *
*terrorists with cameras?"	   -Road Scholar/Me	    * 
*							    *
*"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over!"*
*				   	   -unknown	    *
*							    *
*"If it's in your way, knock it over."			    * 
*				   	   -Klingon Proverb *
*************************************************************

 
Ummm.. stop meif I'm wrong, but I do believe that Worf (and many other


Cops of Borg:
1. Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when we   
assimilate you?
2. You have the right to remain assimilated. Anything you say or do
will    be futile.

 We are Spock of Borg, you will be fasinated
Here's one I came up with:
We are Data of Borg, you will be intrigued.
-- 
Philip Darke ---------------------------------- 
Phi...@darke.demon.co.uk
--------------------- 
http://www.darke.demon.co.uk
 ---------------------
---------------------------- For STAR TREK! ----------------------------

hps@the-plan (HPS) wrote:



...can`t have been a German.
We are Karol Wojtila of Borg. 
Pater, et fili, et spiritus assimilationi.
Resistancum est futilius. Amen.
We are Shakespeare 惱 Borg.
Thou art assimilated, my good man.
Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.
We are Moses of man.
Thou shall not assimilate!
We shall resist beyond all irrelevance!
We are Ice-T 惱 悲a Borg, motherf*cker.
Low and behold, your sorry ass is about to become assimilated, man!!
And if you think you might be able to resist, we惻l tell 描a about
futility, you irrelevant sucker!


None, broken lightbulbs are without honor!
What happened to the klingon who did change the light-bulb?
He was sentenced to death for being affraid in the dark.
Ivo

Yoda of Borg: Ammisilated will you be. Resistance futile is.


Shouldn't that read:
Bad Borgs, Bad Borgs....


	Aww, C'mon!
	Q:	How many Klingons does it take to change a light-bulb?
	A:	Two.  One to change the lightbulb and the other to kill
		him and take the credit.
	Q:	How many managers/executives does it take to change a
		lightbulb?
	A:	Two:  One to call the electrician in and the other to
		write the memo stealing credit for showing incentive.
-- 
 John R. Campbell, Speaker to Machines, Resident Heckler          
so...@jtan.com
  "As a SysAdmin, yes, I CAN read your e-mail, but I DON'T get that bored!"-me
   Disclaimer:	I'm just a consultant at the bottom of the food chain, so,
		if you're thinking I speak for anyone but myself, you must
		have more lawyers than sense.

Thanks!

	We are Darth Vader of Borg- You will be assimilated.  It is your
	desssssstiny.  
	We are Chewbacca of Borg- Waugh Yayyyaaaya Auuughghghghg
	We are Han Solo of Borg- I've got a bad feeling about this
	assimiliation.
	We are are Odie of Borg- Pant Pant Pant.  Slurping is irrelivant
	We are Hobbes of Borg- Tuna Fish is irrelivant.  But comics are
	not.
	We are Dan Quayle of Borg- U whill bea azzimileighted.
I know, I know, they're terrible, but how can you resist? :) 
(Don't say easily!) ;)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 			Dayna Terry
	English Major/Music Minor- University of Oregon
          Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. 
  *****If you shoot a mime, Do you have to use a silencer?*****
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 
But only a fool changes a light bulb in a burning house!


 Who said Germans didn't have a sense of humour?
Me, cause I was born in Poland and now I live in Germany and they make  
jokes about me all the time!!!
What about this one:
We are Jaqcues Chirac of Borg: You will be a-bombed.
Or this one:
We are Julius Caesar of Borg : veni, vidi, assimiliti.
** Viele Gruesse von dem, der einen etwa 11 m² grossen Teil der Erdoberflaeche
beherrscht! (JIL) *
## CrossPoint v3.11 ##

 ## CrossPoint v3.11 ##
  We are Anna Nichole Smith of Borg. You will be implanted.
-- =
**************************
DIE, OMID KHEILTASH, DIE
DIE, YOU FILTHY WHORE, DIE
**************************
 -=3DUDIC=3D- Evangelion Dragon


Resistancum est futilius. Amen.
Good one

We are Julius Caesar of Borg : veni, vidi, assimiliti.
Veni, vidi, assimilavi.
-Aaron J. Dinkin
Dr. Whom

But only a fool changes a light bulb in a burning house!
Klingons do not kill someone to take their credits. Klingons don't
work that way. On the other hand, Romulans do.
Ed Tang

I am John F Kennedy of Borg. You will be assasinated.
I am Eamon Holmes of Borg. You will be aggravated.
I am Anthea Turner of Borg. You will be irritated.
I am Fairy Liquid of Borg. You will be concentrated.
I am All Bran of Borg. You will be constipated.
I am Photocopier of Borg. You will be duplicated (ok, i'm running of jokes!)
I am Jack Daniels of Borg. You will be intoxicatd.
I am Gentleman of Borg. You will be promenaded. (Good grief..!)
I think I'll quit right now before some other silly Borg 'joke' pops out of
my gob!
Regards,
Anna
-- 
an...@neurodne.demon.co.uk
"Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess
 baggage, the shorter the trip"- Arnold H. Glasow.

How many Voyager crewmembers does it take to change a light bulb?
(I have two...)
1)  Wait 'til next week and the bulb won't be burned out any more.
2)  Shouldn't they have run out of light bulbs A LONG TIME AGO?!?
How many genetic supermen does it take to change a light bulb?
They've been asleep for 200 years -- give 'em a break!  They didn't know
it was burned out!
Eric

Good one
Thanx.

This has always been my favorite:
Drunk Borg: "Resilience in floor tile... Wanna be 'similated?"
- Deb
(
tr...@voyager.net
)
"I need a bath. You have the bridge." - Troi, "Genesis"

We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. But we're not
home right now, so leave a message after the tone and we'll assimilate you
later... (beep)

<Quark how many do you want, One strip each>
One, but you have to upgrade the obsolete computer first.

: > Chandler of Borg: "Could I _be_ more assimilated?"
I like the Chandler one (can you tell I'm a Friends fan??), how about this?:
"I am Phoebe of Borg; karma is futile, you will be reincarnated"
Jason

 I know, I know, they're terrible, but how can you resist? :)
It was futile to try :-) (*I* couldn't resist)
Adam, in a "I've finished work for another week" type mood.

 Jason
Ross of Borg: "Resistance...........is futile.  You *will*
be..................................Assimilated.
-- 
Adam Field                    |          
anf...@soton.ac.uk
Computer Science Student      |      Southampton University
"Let's make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise"

 maybe this isn't such a good idea.
We are Tommy of Borg - We're babies, we're SUPPOSED to be assimilating.

 ## CrossPoint v3.11 ##
We are Borg joke of Borg....You will be BORED.
-- 
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?

 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?Hi, uh, you can call me Captain Jack.
UH, I have a friend from poland, infact, he is presently attending the 
univeristy of poland med school. He has no problem with polish jokes.
As i have no problem with jokes about itialians or portugues people.
I dont undersatand all that you have said, but 'can't we all just get 
along?????" -i know that we can. Not to sound like bozot hte clown, but 
"just keep laughinh" Peace and Long like.

He was sentenced to death for being affraid in the dark.
Actually, the worse punishment for a Klingon is to NOT put him to
death!  Don't kill him, make him live in dishonour :)
How many Ferengii does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. one to steal a new one, the other to go sell the broken one.
How many Romulans does it take?
"We were gone, but we have RETURNED to change it!"
How many Pakleds?
Well, first they have to kidnap Geordi to make him tell them which way
in the lightbulb is supposed to go........
How many Q's?
"Really, such a trivial task! Here, have a whole bank of flourescent
lights instead!" (snaps fingers)

 Jason
Or how about:
I am Rachel of BORG, I will drive you away to be assimiliated by some
other borg'ette and make you feel like it was YOUR fault.
Like what a B...h Im sure.

Rugrat borg jokes:
We are lil and Phill of borg:
resistance is futile....No its not phill, yess it is lill, no, its NOT
PHILLIP!...Yes it is LILLIAN!  NOT, IS, NOT, IS!...

Has anyone been colecting all of these to put together in one big file
or post?  A lot of them are really funny!
Lisarose

 wrote in article
<01bc31a6$3aa2a100$3c2c70c2@kaiserimam>...


...



There are a ton of them at Nitpicker Central, the web page by the guy
did all the nitpicker books.
-- 
Mark B
mar...@airmail.net
(Remove the asterisk in the address before replying.)


3) Slap in a holographic bulb, with its own armstrap to keep it
functioning outside a holodeck...
4) Make some new bulbs out of all the shuttle-debris they must have
accumulated by now...
Francis M'stein
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
mrmu...@worldonline.nl
"We are Shakespeare o' Borg.
Thou art assimilated, my good man.
Ye shall not resist, for that is futile."
(By Markus Mehring, from the 'Borg jokes' thread)

 Veni, vidi, assimilavi.
errare humanum est !


did all the nitpicker books.
Can you please tell us the URL?
Thank you!
Ciao,
Luigi
+----[Luigi Rosa]-
+--[Integrated Networking Solutions Sas]-
+--[Voice]--[+39-2-6552277]-
+--[Fax]--[+39-2-6590306]-
|
+-[To boldly go where no one has gone before]-

OK how about
We are the Bjorn Borg...a comeback is futile...

 Thank you!
You're welcome!
-- 
Star Trek in Sound and Vision
Boldly Going Where No Web Site Has Gone Before
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/stinsv

Why did the Borg cross the Road?
To assimilate the Chicken.
I know it's bad.
Sean O'Riordan
se...@beachwalk.com
http://www.beachwalk.com/erin.htm
The Erin Bookstore Online


: wrote:
: >How many HOLODECK CHARACTERS does it take to change a light bulb?
: ><They ARE the light bulb.  And the coffee table.  And the door mat...>
: None.  The light bulb can't exist outside the holodeck .
: >How many Klingons Terrorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
: ><Two:  One to put it in, and the other to kill the first one.  But the
: >first one died honorably>
: It doesn't matter, as long as they all changed it honorably in battle.
: >How many STAR FLEET officers does it take to change a light bulb?
: ><Two.  One to change the light bulb, and the other to die shortly after
: >they beam down.>
: ><none, it would be interfering with the natural development of the light
: >bulb>
: One, but only after first investigating it thoroughly.
: >How many does it take to screw in a light bulb on DS9?
: ><one-Rom>
: ><two-Odo and Kira>
: ><three-Worf, Jadiza, and Dax>
: ><Quark how many do you want, One strip each>
: One, but you have to upgrade the obsolete computer first.
-- 
---
Dennis M Morgan, "Sovereign Boomhaur"              | 
http://www.qnis.net
er...@qnis.net
                                     | QuadraNet Internet
Poet, song writer, actor and voyager of science... | Services.
Website: 
http://www.qnis.net/~ermac/dreams.html
    |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Hey... would ya' like to buy a monkey? "
              ----    It's so hard to believe..     ----               
             \ ---   We're perfect in God's eyes,  --- /
              \ --   When we feel such regret...   -- /
               \ -   So how can we be wise,        - /
                \   With so much to forget....      /
 


Or
http://members.gnn.com/nitcentral/oddsends/borgs.htm
No prob.
