Newsgroup: it.fan.startrek
Titolo: The Hitchhikers Guide to Star Trek - SCENE 1

The Hitchhikers Guide to Star Trek =
SCENE 1:
Enterprise Bridge. Everyone at his/her stations. =
Data: Captain, sensors are picking up two vessels ahead. One appears to
be firing upon the other. However, I am receiving no
distress signals. =
Picard: Is it the Borg, Mr. Data? =
Data: I believe it is the Borg, sir. The larger ship appears to be
rectangular in shape. =
Riker: Red Alert! Shields up! Fire all weapons! =
Picard: Delay that order, Number One. In case you haven't noticed, I'm
not even kidnapped yet. Therefore, I am in charge of this
ship! =
Riker: Oh, that's right. Sorry, sir. I'll wait until you've been
kidnapped, and *then* I'll fire at the Borg ship, with you in it! =
Picard: Err..., right! What about the other ship, Data? Is it the
Romulans? =
Data: Unknown, Captain. It's shaped like ... a shoe. =
Picard: A shoe? =
Riker: It must be the rumored Romulan Nike class. It's supposed to run
faster, jump farther, has better shields for shock
absorption, and a little pump on top that you can squeeze. I read about
it in this week's _Playbeing_ ... err, (avoiding the
questioning gaze of Troi) only for the articles, of course. It's
supposed to be top secret. Didn't you see it, Captain? =
Picard: You mean that article on page 42, right after the holoimages of
Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of
Eroticon Six? Of course not! Everyone knows that I only read William
Shakespeare and Oolon Colluphid. Data, on screen. =
On the screen, holoimages of Eccentrica Gallumbits of Eroticon Six flash
by. She is shown in a variety of rather creative poses.
Her three breasts hanging ... =
Picard: The Borg, Mr. Data! =
Data: My apologies, sir. I thought you meant ... =
Picard: Thank you, Mr. Data! =
On the screen, we now see the Borg ship tractor-beaming a much smaller,
white, shoe-shaped ship. It's shields almost gone,
offering no resistance. Hushed disappointments fill the bridge. =
Picard: (coughs) Worf, open a channel to the ... shoe. =
Worf: Channel opened, sir. =
Eddie: Hi there! I'm Eddie, the shipboard computer here at the Heart of
Gold, and I want to be your friend! =
Picard: (standing up, straightening his uniform) I'm Jean-Luc Picard,
Captain of the USS Enterprise. I notice that you are having
some difficulties. Do you wish our assistance. =
Eddie: Well, hello, Jean-Luc! Oh yeah, I can definitely use an extra
hand over here. You see, I'm trying to make some tea. =
Riker: Tea? =
Data: Tea. An ancient Earth beverage originated in Asia. China, to be
precise. It consists of dried leaves in boiled water. =
Eddie: Yep, just like your robot says! With milk. =
Riker: Squirted out of a cow? =
Data: Which, I believe, is an English tradition. By the way, I am not a
robot. I'm an android. =
Wesley: (whispers) Contractions, Data! =
Data: What? Oh, I mean, _I am_ an android. =
Picard: Well, that's all very nice. I am sure we can arrange for some
tea to be made. Right, Mr. LaForge? =
Geordi: It will require redesigning the data structures of our food
synthesizers, reprogramming the holodeck to create solid
matters simulating Asiatic plant life, implementing an error checking
protocol that allows the two to communicate in parallel, and
creating a user-friendly, menu-driven, icon-based graphics user
interface with mouse support and on-line, context-sensitive,
hypertext help. Give me twenty minutes, and I'll have it purring like a
Syranian monkey-cow in heat. =
Picard: Make it so, Lieutenant. (turning to Eddie on the screen)
Actually, the difficulty I was referring to was the Borg that is
currently attacking you. =
Eddie: Huh? What Borg? Hold on, let me allocate a couple megajoules to
my external sensors. (pause) Yikes! Hey, guys, I'm being
attac about this. I'll get back to you in a sec. =
_____________________________________________________________________
       IL CUBO =E8 un marchio registrato del Collettivo dei Borg
   Vendita abbinabile unicamente alla assimilazione di una specie
_____________________________________________________________________
   =
                                        Harry_ =
				(3/5#
CUBE...@BORG.ORG
)

...
The Hitchhikers Guide to Star Trek
Ok , e divertente ma chi non sa l'inglese ?
Non pensi che gli altri potrebbero cominciare
a postare i messaggi in Senegalese o Cambogiano ?
Io , Locutus e Sciasbat li leggeremmo ugualmente,
ma ....
Ciao .
Reza .

 Reza .
Ho pensato a questo ma non mi farai sbattere a tradurre tutto ?
Se preferite invece di postarlo un po' per volta vi indico il sito
e la smetto
P.S. mi sembrava una cosa bella per chi non l' avesse mai letto _
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rimuovere .NOSPAM dall'indirizzo email per rispondere privatamente
remove .NOSPAM from email address to answer me privately

 =
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Sorry se ho rotto le palle in inglese (lo far=F2 in italiano :-) )
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Sorry se ho rotto le palle in inglese (lo far=F2 in italiano :-) )
pivello: il trademark dello scassapalle resta al Goro! ^_____^
tu al massimo sei un aiutante (o un abusivo ;)
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 tu al massimo sei un aiutante (o un abusivo ;)
certo che sono abusivo, sono quello che da un' occhiata alla Rastaprise
qundo la parcheggiate in divieto ..
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           | 
|---------------------------------------|-----------------------------------
--------/
| J.L. Picard: "Teresina semplice, niente jolly... e il cielo come limite"
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------\ 
| S.T. Triky: "Nessuno fermerà il diabolico piano degli under
20...ahahahahahahahahhaha"
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------/ 
| Dio: "Chi non muore... si attorciglia!"
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------\
\===================================================\

singolare, non al plurale (come sar=E0 lo script della puntata di Tug ?)
In effetti e' cosi': deve trattarsi si un errore, perche' nei telefilm
hanno sempre usato il plurale, sin dall' ormai mitica "We are Borg".
\\//_  Tai Nasha No Karosha
            Max
------------------------------------------------
Visita la mia Home Page dedicata a STAR TREK CCG
 Il gioco di carte personalizzabile di Star Trek
 
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/6145
------------------------------------------------

qundo la parcheggiate in divieto ..
ecco chi ci ha rigato la fiancata! adesso ti senti le bestemmie di
Michele!!! ^____^
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           Locutus
mmh .. 'non sono stato io !' (Bart)
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