Newsgroup: it.fan.marco-ditri
Titolo: Letter of Resignation

Cross-posted to Sydney LUG's mailing list.
----- Forwarded message from Xxxxx Xxxxxxx <xxxxx.xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx> -----
Subject: Letter of Resignation
Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 09:45:27 +1000
Mr Baker 
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few
very basic expectations.  Chief among these is that my direct superiors
have an intellect that ranges above that of the common ground squirrel.
After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my
co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that
you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. 
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do, each time you happen to stroll into my office, is not
only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.  I was hired
because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide
amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to
understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. 
You will never understand computers.  Something as incredibly simple as
binary still gives you too many options. 
You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to
try to explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
effective as telling you what an IP is. 
Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.  You walk
around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.
You have a sharp-dressed useless look about you that may have worked for
your interview, but, now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn
it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your
glaring ineptitude.  In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.  Managers like
you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. 
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a
full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts. 
1. When someone calls you, in reference to employment, it is illegal to
give me a bad recommendation.  The most you can say to hurt me is "I
prefer not to comment."  I will have friends randomly call you over the
next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
unable to do it on your own. 
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
every password you have used for the last five years.  If you decide to
get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files.  I do
believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by
the administration. 
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
mother's b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take
pictures of yourself in the mirror, nude.  Then, you forgot to erase
them, like the techno-moron you really are.  Suffice it to say I have
never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that
those have been copied and kept in safe places, pending the authoring of
a glowing letter of recommendation.  (Try to use a spelling checker,
please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.) 
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
desk by 8:00 AM tomorrow.  One word of this to anybody, and all of your
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.  Never
f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do
with all your free time. 
Sincerely, 
Ted Brewer 
----- End forwarded message -----
-- 
ciao, | (Ri)scoprire fidonet: | Chissa` cosa si prova a liberare
Marco | 
http://bbs.bofh.it
    | la fiducia nelle proprie tentazioni. (F.D.A.)

Cross-posted to Sydney LUG's mailing list.
[...]
ROTFL, ma dimmi che è tutta inventata! :-)
-- 
Saluti,
    Mardy
http://castellina.org/interlingua

 Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 09:45:27 +1000
http://www.i-resign.com/uk/letters/dilbert_resign.asp
-- 
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for.   
www.debian.org
 - 
www.softwarelibero.org
 - 
www.firenze.linux.it
 
ICQ:38374818 - Jabber:cs(at)
jabber.com
Love the sea?  I dote upon it -- from the beach.

 Subject: Letter of Resignation
...e' uno scherzo, vero?
Semplicemente, non puo' esistere un "superiore" cosi' colossalmente
inetto, nemmeno negli Enti Pubblici.
Sembra un mix tra il classico "odio" verso i propri superiori (ho ancora
negli occhi in italia.bologna.computer di un tizio che diceva che ha
ricevuto in regalo dalla ditta un PC nuovo e, "visto quanto sono figli
di puttana quei padroni, non e' che c'e' un modo per capire se c'e'
dentro uno spyware?"... le risposte sono state tipo: "tu non meriti di
ricevere nessun regalo"), inettitudini concentrate e, dulcis in fundo,
lo "stile" americano piu' beceramente puritano.
Certo che ad infilarsi una bottiglia di ketchup nelle kiappe ci vuole
fantasia... ma dopo quello che ho sentito dire da un'infermiera che ha
lavorato 20 anni nel reparto di ginecologia (e "dintorni", non ricordo
il nome esatto), posso anche crederci...
Fabrizio (avra' usato dosi massicce di KY?)   O:-)