Newsgroup: it.politica.internazionale
Titolo: Cristo contro la forza di gravità!

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2
KANSAS CITY, KS--
As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools
continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday
in this embattled Midwestern state.
Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are
now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and
they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational
force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is
pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in
education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts
University.
Burdett added:
"Gravity--which is taught to our children as a law--is founded on
great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between
all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton
himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force
for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of
course, he is alluding to a higher power."
Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of
evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal
interpretation of the Bible.
According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the
International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's
Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by
secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how
Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of
Paradise.
The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other
Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school
curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory.
They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned
from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the
issue "so they can make an informed decision."
"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett
said.
Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories
used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally
consistent.
Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about
gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics.
This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is
a theory in crisis.
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory
Lunsden.
"In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both
shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making
them fall--just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But
mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If
gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with
great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence
governs all falling."
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable
law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena.
Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict
between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general
relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen
Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with
the Kansan Youth Ministry.
"They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now,
and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled
data, they still don't know how."
"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation
is supposed to work," Carson said.
"What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity
waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever
He wants.'"
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides
an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the
'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear
force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said.
"And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one
force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what
this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

 University.
Oh, beh, che dire: poi ci si meravilgia dei fanatici islamici...:-/
-- 
Chaos A.D.		|	Raging crowd
Tanks on the streets	|	Burning cars
Confronting police	|	Bloodshed starts
Bleeding the Plebs	|	Who'll be alive?

  Oral Roberts University.
Gli esperti dell'Anal Johnson College che ne dicono?
Palmiro Pangloss
-- 
You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!

 Palmiro Pangloss
Sei un po' fissato, eh, Panglosse?  Che t'e' capitato negli angiporti estivi?
A noi ce lo puoi dire...
Am.

 Oh, beh, che dire: poi ci si meravilgia dei fanatici islamici...:-/
Eh, negli US seguono la dottrina del Fight fire with fire (TM).
Se il tuo nemico è un fanatico religioso la soluzione è diventare ancora 
più fanatico di lui.
Riot

"amalric" <ama...@TOGLIMIalice.it> wrote in message
news:200508212035448930%amalric@TOGLIMIaliceit...

#_Lasciava cadere la saponetta ad ogni doccia collettiva. :-/
G.

 Gli esperti dell'Anal Johnson College che ne dicono?
Che sei un blasfemo sessuomane che discrimina i cattolici!


 Che sei un blasfemo sessuomane che discrimina i cattolici!
Scusa, ma non seguo. Quelli dell'Anal, dell'Oral o entrambi?
Sai Panglosse, IMHO, e' capace di tutto...
Am.

 Che sei un blasfemo sessuomane che discrimina i cattolici!
Oral ROTFL Roberts e' un predicatore evangelico.


 Scusa, ma non seguo. 
Infatti precedi chinato.


 Oral ROTFL Roberts e' un predicatore evangelico.
Sì, ma non ho sottomano evangelisti da trollare. <g>


 
Nella tua immaginazia di sfigato da tacchino,
Roba che pensavo che esistesse solo in USA (e getta)...
Am.

 Roba che pensavo che esistesse solo in USA (e getta)...
Anche negli USA ti si vogliono fare?


 Palmiro Pangloss
Troppo bene, grazie, saponetta. Sei tu che sei arrapato, mica io, 
Chiedi consiglio a tua suocera/zia/sorella. O a tuo 
suocero/zio/fratello. Non e' che si sappia piu' bene che pensare...
Am.

 
Solito titolo del ca**o di Namib che non c'entra una sega con l'articolo
quotato. :)
-Stefano

 wrote in message
news:4308EAAE...@people.it...

#_Se lo dici tu!
Sarebbe una grazie del cielo se le mie palle ritornassero al loro livello,
dopo tutte le volte che ti presenti con un commento come quello sopra.
G.   rrrr