Newsgroup: it.arti.cinema
Titolo: Titanic: un parere autorevole (richiede requisiti culturali)

THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE
I have not seen "Titanic," nor do I plan on seeing it, but I can say,
without hesitation, it is the worst movie ever made. I simply do not
understand the fascination. My aunt has seen the movie twice. Comic
strips are joking about obsessed fans that neglect their children to
see the film over and over again.
The film is well on its way to becoming the highest grossing film
ever. It makes absolutely no sense to me. 
How can anyone enjoy a film that combines Leonardo DiCaprio, yet
another Brit pretending to be American (don't they make films in
England anymore?), romance, expensive special effects, and a Celine
Dion song? 
Hello, ladies? I know you girls (and women) think Leonardo is dreamy.
You picture yourself stranded on a desert island with him, making love
in the sand.
Leonardo has the same fantasy, except it involves your brother. If
Leonardo isn't a poof, fairy, cornmuffin, or a little light in the
loafers, then Liberace was a real ladies' man. Don't get me wrong. I
support homosexuality 100%, but if I'm going to watch a romantic movie
(which is about as likely as me helping poor Guatemalans), I want to
have the allusion that the leading man might actually get an erection
from looking at photos of naked women. I suppose Leonardo could simply
be a sensitive, effeminate, boyish-looking man, but that is still
unappealing in a romantic lead. 
England, I adore your country. Really, I do. Based on the shows I have
seen and the magazines/newspapers I have read, you are a country of
sarcastic, mean bastards and dammit, I love that in a nation! How
could I dislike a country that needs a national anti-bullying hotline?
But, please, stop sending us British actresses who cannot cut it in
England. They come to America, learn how to speak with a rather
convincing American accent, and steal our roles! What -- there were no
actresses that could take Minnie Driver's place in "Grosse Pointe
Blank?" There weren't any American redheads available for "Titanic?"
God, we bitch about companies taking jobs to Mexico, but what about
foreigners pretending to be American and stealing our acting jobs?
Where's the outrage? 
Romance, along with Leonardo's acting ability, are overrated. I am not
a romantic person. My idea of romance is buying the condoms together.
Why would I want flowers? They wither and die. Why would I want candy?
So I can get cavities and cellulite? Why do I need candles? We pay
hundreds of dollars each month for electricity for a reason -- so we
don't need candles. Jewelry? Please, I'm so unorganized, I'll lose it
in a week. I cannot appreciate romantic movies. My life is not so
empty that I need to live vicariously through (awful) actors in
(equally awful) movies. 
Special effects can be interesting. They can add to a movie, but when
the entire movie is essentially about amazing special effects,
something is seriously wrong. "The Poseidon Adventure" was a wonderful
70s disaster flick about a sinking ship. It didn't have hoity-toity
special effects, but it was entertaining nonetheless. (Something about
an obese Shelly Winters swimming is funny, I guess.) I honestly wanted
to know who would survive and who would die. I know the "Titanic"
sunk. I know that, based on the tears flowing from people leaving a
showing of the movie, both characters die. Why would I want to see a
fictional account of a true story, as acted by a pre-pubescent poof
and a wannabe American? I don't care how realistic the recreation of
the sinking is.
The movie, obviously, has little plot and people are blinding by the
hype. 
Do I need to elaborate on the Celine Dion song? I accidentally flipped
to a pop rock station while her song from the "Titanic" soundtrack was
playing and I practically veered into the path of an oncoming truck. I
understand the appeal of the Spice Girls. I even understand the appeal
of Hanson. I cannot understand the appeal of Celine Dion. She is a
skinny, ugly, French-Canadian wench that sings sappy tunes set to bad
music. And, in this case, she is a skinny, ugly French-Canadian wench
that sings a sappy tune set to bad music for the soundtrack of a
plotless, terrible movie. 
I try not to prejudge movies. Sometimes, the movies that look
incredibly stupid end up being worth a watch, but I know this is not
the case with "Titanic." It combines too many ridiculous elements
that, even on their own, are painful to watch. 
--
Joshua
E-Mail: 
Macon...@hotmail.com

THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE
Buffa, ma di chi e'?
 Ciao
 
 Duccio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Tu, con deficienza di capacita' ermeneutica (E.B.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
du...@venus.it
 (ICQ 28.32.64) 45 25.498'N 9 07.000'E
Snail_mail: c/o MT minuterie tornite
Via Modena, 10 - 20090 Buccinasco MI Italy
HomePage 
http://www.venus.it/duccio
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By The Misanthropic Bitch
(
http://members.tripod.com/~miskel/
)
Andatela a vedere solo se avete voglia di farvi una sana incazzata con
qualcuno
--
Joshua
E-Mail: 
Macon...@hotmail.com

Joshua wrote:

   sono andato a vedere il sito e in effetti mi sono incazzato, ma non
ci vedo niente di scandaloso. In fondo, anche se penso che il
proprietario di quella pagina sia un'emerita testa di cazzo, ha il
diritto di esprimere le sue opinioni e mi sembra che lo faccia senza
senza aggredire (qualità sempre più prezionsa). Ciò non toglie che
secondo me si tratta di un grandissima testa di cazzo...
Ricky

secondo me si tratta di un grandissima testa di cazzo...
Concordo. 
Ti dico che il proprietario è una donna. Non che cambi molto, ma
stranamente a molti diventa simpatica quando scoprono il suo sesso. 
Perchè? Boh!
--
Joshua
E-Mail: 
Macon...@usa.net


Perche'? Semplicemente perche', mi dispiace ammetterlo, l'uomo è
debole...
Anche se è una donna continua a starmi sul cazzo e gliel'ho detto via
mail...
Ricky

mail...
Ne sarà sicuramente sodisfatta (non sto scherzando)
--
Joshua
E-Mail: 
Macon...@usa.net