Newsgroup: it.arti.fotografia.digitale
Titolo: [lol] Se Microsoft vendesse fotocamere

# ou would need a 1GB camera to take a 8MB picture.
# The resulting picture would be viewable in IE only.
# It would be Internet Ready, by that they mean vunerable.
# It would be the first camera to need Anti Virus software.
# A copy of Excel and Word would be included in the firmware.
# SP1 would be out the day after you bought it.
# SP2 would follow a few years later, and effectively break the camera!
and there's be an Easter Egg of a flight simulator to play on the LCD
screen.
Every time a new subject appeared you would need to upgrade your camera
Apple would make a memory card five times as big for half the price, but
it would only work in 5% of cameras
It would ask "are you sure?" every time you pressed the shutter button
Every so often the aperture ring would stick. The solution would be to
turn off the camera, remove the lens, rotate it, and reattach it. For
unknown reasons everyone would just accept it.
- The first thing you would see in your viewfinder: "404 error"
- You'd have to push "Power-Menu-Shutter" at the same time to reboot.
- Long exposures would time out.
- Apple's camera would be better, but nobody would buy it.
..people would start getting harassing phone calls asking if their
camera's licensing is up to date.
..basic necessities would be omitted because Microsoft didn't think users
needed them. For example, you'd have to install a stack update to get
Aperture Priority AE.
..their PR department would rename everything. MS camera bodies would now
be called "Personal Image Server". LCD Screens would be called "Heads-Up
Displays".
..everything would be called Plug-n-Play, but it would all require half
an hour of installation before it would work.
..changing lenses would require a complete shutdown and reboot.
..photos would be stored in the camera as Bitmaps.
..occasionally, for no apparent reason, the camera would just shut down
while you're using it.
..Netmeeting and FrontPage would be included in the box.
..you'd have to agree to an on-screen license before you could use the
camera.
..the first time you powered it on, it would ask for a 25-digit
installation key using alphanumeric numbers that you had to enter one at a
time with only the directional key on the back of the camera.
..right at the decisive moment, just when you're about to press the
shutter release, the camera would freeze up for a second while a dancing
paper clip appeared on the LCD saying "It looks like you're about to shoot
a landscape. Would you like to: a)shoot with the light? b)shoot against
the light? c)use sidelighting? d)try something else?" By the time you
figure out how to get that paper clip off the screen, you will have missed
the priceless moment you were about to capture.
Cameras would only shoot in a newly developed mRGB color space (Microsoft
RGB).
A special video driver and a new version of DirectX would have to be
installed on your PC in order to view the photos.
This new version of DirectX would, of course, be incompatable with
Photoshop CS, requiring both an update to Photoshop and the installation
of Windows XP SP3.
The camera would have a host of online photo sharing options, utilizing
ActiveX controls. That would bring on endless security updates to plug the
holes in the camera's OS.
Speaking of the OS, the camera would be running the new WindowsImaging OS.
It needs a 6GB compact flash card just for the operating system, and takes
3 minutes to boot up. You have to click through 8 dialog boxes to turn it
off.
For some inexplicable reason, each high resolution 8 megapixel JPG takes
up 150MB of storage space.
There will be a hidden "index.dat" file that stores information about
everything you've ever done with the camera.
-you'd have to wait 5 minutes while the camera powers on and runs through
several log on screens.
-security patches would need to be downloaded every week.
-microsoft would make 40,000 cameras....but somehow 120,000 people are
using it...(think about it--hehe)
-the screen savers that appear on the lcd screen, would be better than the
photos you are taking.
-all your photos come back framed in a window...yeah, i'm stretching on
this one.
-they would brag about how their camera comes pre-packaged with editing
software....ms paint.
-you would be able to remotely take photos with other peoples
cameras...with their permission of course.
# The camera would run slower and slower, forcing you to delete all the
photos and reinstall the firmware every few days.
# MS would 'reinvent' all the image standards like tif and jpg, making
everything incompatible, including photos taken with the last version.
# You'd have to install software that used up half your memory card
# MS would get most of the original technology off Canon under a
partnership deal, then refuse to pay for the technolgy, then sue them for
exclusive use of the technology which MS had a partnership in. When Canon
collapses under the weight of the multi-billion dollar law suits, MS would
buy what was left for peanuts and claim they invented it in the first
place.
# A copy of Windows 'Picture and Fax Viewer' would be included in the
firmware, and would be the only way to see images on the LCD. Not only
this, but it would have some basic incompatibility with the Canon/MS
display technology, and it would take them 7 years to achnowledge or fix
the problem
# Every time the technology got better and faster the OS would get more
resource hungry. Eventually the microprocessors would be running at 10GHz
but the startup time would be 10 minutes. When you pressed the shutter
button you'd get the wait symbol while the operating system generated 5
new folders, and would randomly store the images in various folders
depending on the date and the file size.
# After 10 years of marketing hype most users would have forgotten that
Canon existed, would believe that MS gave the world the camera, and would
wonder what all the geeks were getting so upset about.
85% of your LCD would be dedicated to toolbars.
-- 
Michele "cATO" Ferrario
http://www.photosig.com/go/users/view?id=19361
http://latente.altervista.org
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 wrote in message news:ctatsi$a3j$1...@news.newsland.it...
Per carità di Dio, ne abbiamo già abbastanza di WindoZ!
Meno male che c'è APPLE per noi

 
Not my problem... I shoot with Nikon.
Inviato da 
www.mynewsgate.net

cATO wrote:
[cut]
Scusami puoi farmi un riassunto in italiano per favore...?
Grazie