Newsgroup: italia.bologna.barzellette
Titolo: [OT] qualcuno segue alt.tasteless.humor?

Qualcuno segue alt.tasteless.humor?
C'e' un post su un manifesto di reclutamento NASA che e' stato rimosso e
non riesco a trovarlo da nessuna parte: doveva essere una cosa
fetentissima, quindi molto ghiotta...
ciao
Marco
-- 
bernama -at- libero -punto- it
Non si puo' avere tutto dalla vita.
Manca lo spazio per mettercelo.
+- PHPRndSig 0.02 --------------------------------------------19/74-+

Carissimo,
sui miei hard disk ho gli ultimi 3 anni di tutti i newsgroups
umoristici, compreso alt.tasteless.humor.
Ho fatto una ricerca ma non credo di aver trovato quello che cerchi,
ma servirebbero un po' piu' di dati.
Io ho trovato (cercando la keyword NASA):
1) There were three volunteers that were trying out for a new NASA
experiment on sending people to different planets. They called in the
first volunteer and asked her a question. "If you could go to any
planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?". After pondering
the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it
seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra
terrestrial life on the planet." They said, "Well okay, thank you."
And told her that they would get  back to her." The next volunteer
entered the room and the NASA people asked him the  same question. In
reply he said, "I would like to go to Saturn to see  all of its
rings." They also said, "thank you", and that they would get back to
him. The third volunteer, Putty Duh, entered the room and they asked
him  the same question that they had asked the other two volunteers.
"What planet would you like to go to?". He thought for a while and
replied, "I would like to go to the sun.". The people from NASA
chuckled, "Why? Don't you know that if you went to the sun you would
burn to death?". Putty Duh smirked and crossed his arms confidently
across his chest. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night of course!"
(marzo 2001)
 
2)  I have a dear friend who is an engineer in NASA's Safety Office at
Marshall Space Flight Centre in Huntsville. Her group is the one that
gives the okay on shuttle flights so far as safety matters are
concerned. I invited her and a few more friends to my apartment for a
party. I asked her to make the daiquiris. After she had been in the
kitchen for quite some time I went in to see what the problem was. I
found her staring at the blender with a puzzled look on her face. I
asked her what was wrong. She said, and I quote, "This mix says add 3
parts daiquiri mix to 1 part rum. I can't find the PART measurement on
this blender." And we wonder why the Challenger blew up. (aprile 2001)
3)  On March 12, 1998, during the noon news, this news service
reported; "NASA has announced that an asteroid willcome within 3000
miles of the Earth and that there was a potential for total
destruction of our Planet. This asteroid is due to arrive at 2028
military time or 8:28PM local time. Therefore, may strongly encourage
everyone to immediately follow these instructions:
1. Do not panic.
2. Everyone should mercifully kill your own children; sparing them the
agony of a horrible death, as the Earth disintegrates.
3. Since watching the Earth disintegrate will cause panic, claw out
your own eyes, so you won't see "The End." We have since been informed
that this news story had a small error and should have said; "The
asteroid is due to arrive in THE YEAR 2028." We know that there are
many viewers who followed our advice to prepare for the end, and we
sincerely apologize for any inconvenience that we may have caused.
4) Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens
at
the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle,
all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea was to imulate the
frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the
strength of the windshields. 
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test  it on
the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were
made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was
fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the
barrel, crashed into the shatterproof windshield, smashed it to
smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the
engineers backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the
cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. 
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the
US scientists for suggestions. 
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken." (luglio
2002)
_______________
Salutoni
DrZap
_______________
Se il vino te disturba nel tuo lavoro, sopprimi il lavoro. (Adagio del
bevitore)
_______________
Dr.Zap 
dr...@tiscalinet.it
http://www.drzap.it/
Oltre 30.800 battute e barzellette  

 umoristici, compreso alt.tasteless.humor
..... ma .... lavorare, ... mai? *
Gommaflex
*: Vergassola