Newsgroup: it.discussioni.litigi
Titolo: IDL - Synopys

So there's some guy in a crematorium in Georgia who's been tucking bodies
away when he should have been burning them and placing their ashy remains
into urns for the relatives to keep as morbid mantelpieces. And evidently
this has pissed a lot of people off for some reason. Don't you think
everybody's overreacting just a bit though?
I mean, I'm sure he had a perfectly good, legitimate reason to be stashing
those bodies away in the ol' storage bin out back. For all we know it was
perfectly justified, good intentioned fun with corpses, but here comes
Johnny Law leading the angry village mob, torches and pitchforks at the
ready. We're ready to make them pay for their heinous acts, when we don't
even know what they were really doing.
Can you just imagine all the possibilities when you're talking about that
many corpses? I mean, there's GOT to be a reason you want to keep that many
bodies stashed away, and it's going to be a little above and beyond "Oh, the
incinerator is missing a screw and we don't want to bother replacing it".
Suppose for a moment that they were building a massive army of zombie
minions and were planning on taking over the world (or at least the town)
with them? Would you hold it against them then? I don't think so. And if you
did, you can bet your sweet ass that your brain would be the next item on
the menu. Come on though! That would be awesome! A town inhabited entirely
by undead! It would be one hell of a tourist attraction!
The zombie merchandizing tie-ins alone could
jumpstart the economy of a small town!
Or what if they were going to make one of those "Haunted House" attractions
for the kids at Halloween? You know, where you go through the house and the
monsters and psycho killers jump out at you and you're supposed to be
scared? Well, imagine all the fun you could have if you went through one of
those with REAL dead people popping up all around you! Talk about scary!
They could rig everything up on this pulley system, so that dead people leap
up and drop from the ceiling, and you could pay extra money for a chainsaw
to carve them to pieces with. You'd feel like you were right in the middle
of a zombie movie! It's not like they'd run out of bodies any time soon
anyway. Forget about donating your body to science! Donate it to
entertainment! It's for the kids! Now is that a good cause or what?
This could be YOU!
Maybe they were trying to break into the fertilizer business and just didn't
have enough money to break into it without a little help to get started? Or
perhaps they wanted to build an entire house out of human bones. It's not
like there's any other way you can get a hold of that many bones. Or they
could have rented the bodies out to Hollywood, for war movies where you need
to have lots of bodies sprawled out on the battlefield.
Who would want their relative's remains in an urn to keep forever anyway?
That always seemed kind of disturbing to me. You knock that thing off the
mantel and it's all over. If you're going to get your relative's ashes for
morbid, gothy storage purposes anyway, you may as well make it interesting.
Like instead of putting your relatives into urns, put them into "Pokéballs"
and then you can have them fight your friends dead relatives in epic dust
and ash battles. "I CHOOSE YOU, AUNT MABEL!!!" You could even trade with all
your friends and try to get more powerful combatants (like your neighbor's
fat uncle who has at least twice as much ash as your anemic grandmother).
Either let 'em roam the earth in search of brains
or put 'em in a Pokéball. Man, tough call...
Or you could put your passed relatives into those Burger King light up "Lord
of the Rings" goblets. Rig up the light to a remote control and then when
people you don't like come over, you hit button to turn the light on. "Oh
no! Looks like Uncle Bill is glowing red again! I don't think he ever liked
you. You'd better get out of here before he decides he wants to possess
someone again!"
Oh shit! It's Uncle Bill! RUN!!!!!!!
See, there are all kinds of creative and fun things you can do with dead
people (and not just fucking them either!) that I'll bet you never even
thought about. So are you going to be so quick to pick up your pitchfork and
march against the blasphemous  "defilers of the dead" now that you know all
this fun stuff they were probably planning? Remember, just because someone
is
dead doesn't mean they can't still be fun.
note: Protoclown is betting that we'll see some of these corpses in the
upcoming "Resident Evil" movie.
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Maybe he is a "mad scientist" and was squirreling away the bodies to
later reconstruct into a six million dollar man/womyn/transexual
frankenstein do it yourself kit for toys R us?

incinerator is missing a screw and we don't want to bother replacing it".
It's a lot cheaper to burn a few pieces of wood than to burn a body.
Purely a profit motive.
And totally illegal on a number of points:
Not properly disposing of a human body
Business fraud (not doing what you were paid to do)
Storing dead bodies is probably at least a misdemeanor in every
jurisdiction, unless you're running a morgue.
-- 
Al - rukbat at optonline dot net
Zymurgist # 2

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:a9dd1b95.02101...@posting.google.com...

    Now that's a good point. I laughed at that "squirreling away the
bodies", absolutely priceless.


In article <70jpqusc06qae8qvt...@Pern.rk>, 
ruk...@pern.invalid says... 

...or hungry.
-- 
|-Maeljin-|
(Damned by Dore, Primo in Italia)
"Down in the hole
Jesus tries to crack a smile
Beneath another shovel load" 
-Soundgarden, "The 4th of July" 
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