Newsgroup: it.discussioni.litigi
Titolo: Pantera sucks ass (FAQ)

Who are you?
 The name's Leonard.
Why did you post this message?
 Because I think everyone into Pantera needs to know who they're really into.
Why do you think Pantera sucks?
 For the record - I DO NOT THINK THEY SUCK, PER SE. Everything they have done from Power Metal
onward sucks, but their first three albums are great glam-metal (aka 'cock rock'). Vinnie Paul
had some great plodding quarter-note beats, Rex Rocker could really pound out those 8th notes,
and Diamond Darrell was a whiz at those cheezy over-the-top lead guitar-wank tricks. And
Terrence Lee, their first singer, shits on Phil 'McCrevice' from a great height.
For brevity's sake, I will simply lump all 'You suck'-type quotes into one category.
 Ooh - and what exactly do you expect childish insults to accomplish, anyway? Fuck yourself.
Get a life.
 I HAVE a life. No life would imply that I live simply to slam Panterrible, which is FAR from
the case. In fact, I've spent only about 20 minutes over the course of two years writing these
lines - YOU probably spent longer than that reading it. NOW who needs to get a life?
Who gives a shit what you say anyway?
 This is a funny one that I get all the time. Read carefully before you e-mail me,
ball-licker: if you bother writing to bitch at me about what I say here, then YOU obviously
care about what I've written here - care enough to e-mail me after taxing your brain with
enough ways to try to say 'you suck' without sounding like you have Tourette's Syndrome.
And while we're at it, go back to the 'get a life' quote above - if I have no life and that's
why I wrote this FAQ, and you're about to write me about this FAQ, what does that say about
YOU?
THEY ARE NOT GAY!!11!1
 No, they are not practicing homosexuals. They're most likely not even latent homos. And I
never said that they were. However, being a homosexual and being 'GAY' are two totally
separate things. Straight or not, Pantera and their zombie ball-licker fans are GAY.
Yes, this means you.
Their first album WAS Cowboys from Hell!
 No, it was their fifth. You can't deny it. It's a fact. And you can't even go the "well, it's
their first OFFICIAL album" route either, because it's not. If their albums were self-released
and had no label names, you MIGHT be able to win, but Metal Magic was released on the "Metal
Magic" label or the "Pantego" label (depending on which copy you get...), their next two were
definitely on "Pantego" and later released on Reborn Classics, and "Power Metal" was not only
on "Pantego", but also saw limited CD release on Atco - yes, the same Atco that released
"Cowboys from Hell". That's FIVE albums on at least four labels in over six years. There's no
conceivable way those other albums could be considered non-official.
And no, the Elektra Web Site is not an accurate source, except of their own hypocricy.
OK, what music do YOU think is good?
 Good music. That can range from cool jazz to blistering black metal.
So you think THEY are good? They suck!
 You're just pissed because I slagged your band. I bet you haven't even heard of whatever band
it is you're slagging. Go away.
"Your a wimp! Your e-mail link didn't send e-mail."
 Before I start the answer to this one, let me explain a bit of netiquette:
ALL CAPS IS SHOUTING - it's rude. Turn off the caps lock key.
Use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Imprecise writing reflects imprecise thought.
You've already got one strike against you for liking Panterrible, and another for writing
DESPITE the fact that I've heard all your stupid little jibes and insults already. Don't get
struck out right off the bat because you can't write. This means use "YOUR" and "You're"
properly, "To, Too, and Two", and PLEASE don't run-on.
It's generally considered bad form to 'fake out' someone by writing a favorable subject line
which conceals a nasty message. Are you really so pathetic that this FAQ pissed you off SO BAD
that you just had to 'fake me out' JUST to make sure I read your pathetic little insults (such
as 'get a life'? Oh, the irony...)? Do yourself a favor and just don't bother.
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