Newsgroup: it.discussioni.litigi
Titolo: ROTFL (Re: Look what Leonard Spears said about John Lennon)


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I knew you would like that one Lenny!

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:cBNKa.6739$OE2.7...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| I knew you would like that one Lenny!
Yeah I actually loved it, it's just great to watch cunts like seething with anger. Anyway,
John fucking Lennon... isn't it a shame for John Lennon that he's been dead for more than
twenty years? Just think, the talentless Scouse twat could have been boring us senseless for
all that time with yet more piles of inane drivel and tuneless wank, especially if his last
ever album was to have been a taster of things yet to come. He'd have had that fucking Yoko
Ono doing more tracks on his albums, just to shut her the fuck up and have a quiet life. Why
didn't Mark Chapman fucking shoot her instead, the slitty-eyed ugly whorebag? I would have
done, me. I'd have walked up to him outside his New York hotel in December 1980 and gone:
"No offence, John, but BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!... That's an early Christmas
prezzy for your missus for all the shit on that new album of yours. Now fuck off."
That's what I'd have done.
Have you ever heard that last album of his, that 'Double Fantasy' effort? Some of the tracks
are really quite crap - coincidentally, those by Lennon himself. Yet the rest are fucking dins
of the most incorrigible fucking hair-raising load of bull-wank. I'll never forget the first
time I heard that album after I bought it all those years ago. There I was, listening to 'Just
Like Starting Over' and really about to throw up... the next my head was exploding as my ears
shot through the headphones when Yoko whining fucking Ono cranked up with her screeching
fucking shit.
"EEEEEOOOWOOWOWWWWWOOOOOOOWEEEEEEAAIAIAIAIIAAAAIOIIIIIIII!!"
And that was the fucking hook-line, for fuck's sake!
At first I thought of taking it back to the shop to get my money back. A scratched record
surely to fuck. But no... couple of minutes later and there's John again singing 'Watching The
Wheels' or something like that... and I'm thinking: Fair enough, not bad for an ass ramming
fag married to a japanese trassexual. Then lo and behold she's at it again, the fucking
discordant slant-eyed Gook...
"EEEEEEOOOWWWWWWWAAAIAIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
What the fuck was Lennon thinking of letting her do that on one of his lousy records? And what
did he do, lock her in a studio, naked and covered in syrup, and let in a few hundred thousand
wasps? He fucking should have done. You can just imagine the scene at the recording sessions,
can't you?
"Right, Yoko...it's like this, love... you've had your fun, now pack it in for fuck's sake
else we're all in the shit here. Just read the lyrics, wait for the music to start and SING
THE FUCKING THING! Okay? Right...roll tape..."
"EEEEEEEEAAIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAA!!!!!"
I have a theory about John Lennon's assassination in the wake of the recording of his final
album in December 1980. I have. It may have been Mark Chapman who indeed killed the
controversial Beatle on that fateful night, but I reckon the people behind it were the record
company bosses. I do. Honest. I reckon they paid Chapman to do a Jill Dando-style hit on John
Lennon to save all the fucking money they had ploughed into that final project of his.
"It's like this, gentlemen... we've all heard the new John Lennon album... correct? And are we
all agreed that it's the biggest pile of dick ever to be pressed onto plastic? Good. In that
case there's only one thing for it. If we release the cunt it'll flop like a tramp's cock
after three litres of White Lightning... but if John Lennon were to somehow be kind of
accidentally shot dead seven times through the arse...then we might be onto a winner."
And that's what they did. They paid Chapman to "hit" John Lennon so that the record wouldn't
be the fucking flop they thought it surely would be. So they do the business, release it and
every daft cunt in the world like Ultracollect goes out and buys it because it was the last
one he ever made. And bollocks to the fact that half of its content is pure and unadulterated
piss churned out by the man's demented fucking arty farty Jap missus. And didn't the critics
just love it in all the ensuing sadness of the man's untimely demise?
Where people would normally have bought it and gone: "What the fucking hell is THAT!?" Instead
they all went: "My God. Isn't that fantastic, and so romantic for them to have made the record
like that?"
Bollocks! It's smelly crap. And every cunt knows it's shit but Ultracollect. John Lennon had
already gone on record as saying that his next album would be solely performed by Yoko, so I
reckon Mark Chapman did us all a fucking great big favour on that gloomy December night in
1980. In fact, as well as shooting the Scouse wanker seven times up the arse, he should have
gone back and stabbed him a couple of dozen times just for Track 3 on Side 2. And it is true
that Yoko made Lennon change all his original lyrics to suit her. Take that song, 'Woman', for
instance...
Woman
I can hardly express
My inner feelings
At my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt...
They weren't the original Lennon lyrics. It originally went like this before that squawking
slit-eyed trollop got her hands on it:
Woman
Why don't you shut your fucking gob
You sound like a cat being strung up
And you get on everybody's wick
If you don't belt up I'll break your fucking neck
It's true, that. I read it in a book.

No matter what you think, The world lost a lot the day he died. You can ramp
and rage from your pool boy hut, but John will be remembered a long long
time. You will be forgotten before you are buried.
The scene will be somthing like this...
"Dearly beloved...We a gathered here today to lay to rest....." Father looks
toward the crowd of two people that had gathered that day in the local
garbage dump, he face was puzzled.
"Leonard" said the limo driver who had found Leonard face down on the floor
of his 1 room pool buy apartment.  Arnold had been told be the head butler
to get Lenny up and clean the dog turd out of the pool. Turning to the
shabby bum beside him he repeated "Lenny was his name"
The priest nodded and continued the mass. When it came time for Arnold to
say something about Lenny, he had completly forgotten why he was there in
the first place. He shrugged and walked past the pile of rotten garbage to
his car. The Priest left the corpse of the pool boy guy to be eaten by ants.
He was late for Bingo.
The bum went through Lenny's pockets and found a picture of an ocean view, a
Sheaffer fountain pen and a bill from UltraCollect.

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:g7PLa.568$bD1.1...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| No mat[]
    Tell you what? I was right here waiting for you, dude.
    I see they're selling John Lennon's piano for a million quid, so they reckon. That's what
it's going to fetch when it comes up for "cyber-auction" in the next couple of weeks. Fair
enough. I was always a big fan of Lennon's. Let's face it, he was far and away the hardest of
all The Beatles. He would have bounced McCartney in a fight, and as for George and Ringo...
he'd have dispensed that pair of soft arses with a quick headbutt and a kick to the balls.
What was it? Seven bullets and the cunt still had it in him to tell ambulancemen his fucking
name.
    Nah, John Lennon was as tough as old boots... pity he had to go and fucking marry one. And
now that old boot - Yoko to you and me - is selling off the very piano upon which The Great
Man actually wrote many of his latter Beatles hits and some of his greatest solo songs.
'Imagine' and 'Instant Karma', 'Jealous Guy' and Fab Four classics like 'Happiness Is A Warm
Gun' and 'Bungalow Bill'... ahem! Anyway, it's up for auction, and the daft fuckers of the
world are expected to pay upwards of two million dollars for the privilege of owning the
fucking thing. Much as I would like to own such an impressive item of rock memorabilia, I
think what might put me off it would be the fact that John and Yoko might have actually
shagged on the cunt. It's possible, you know... think about it. All that loose fucking that
went on in the sixties and seventies. Also, them Japanese women is known for their prowess and
sexual experimentation. Why am I telling you this, guess it's because you're Ultracollect, and
you sell and buy useless stuff, you know...
    It's true.
    Mate of mine married a slit-eyes a few years back, and he never gets a minute's peace with
her. She's always squatting on candles, snuffing them out with her twat and sticking things
down his old lad, and rubbing him up with perfumed oils and that. One time he told me she
rammed a fucking lavender jostick down his jap's eye, and they couldn't get the cunt out
again. It was one of them ones what you can't extinguish, and he had to go along to casualty
with his knob hanging out of his flies and aromatic smoke rising from his spunk-throttle. Two
hours in surgery and a pain you wouldn't wish on your worst fucking enemy saw to it that he
never indulged in such things again.
    Or maybe I'm lying...
    So that's it - you could fork out a million quid for John Lennon's piano and ignore the
spunk stains and the crusty batter bits from where he and Yoko might one day have decided on a
quick shafting in between verses of 'Woman Is The Nigger Of The World'.

I wouldn't want to own it, I would however like to be able to see it and sit
at it. once I have done that, it would be over.
I am sure the first reason you are not going to buy it is lack of money, you
don't have 2 mill to spend on a piano, if you do at least buy something from
me and spread the wealth! You selfish twat.
A piano like that has no value, whatever somebody wants to pay for it is
what it is worth. It would be a waste if it went to some pool boy who
couldn't play to. That piano should be given to some kid who will learn to
play from pure talent and love of the instrument. Not a rich bitch who wants
another trophy.
If you could afford that, it would never fit into your pool boy hut. Just
remember to leave it to me, stats show you will be shot very soon anyway!
As for Yoko? Well of course I have asked mytself. "John could have had any
woman in the world"
I mean any woman! And not just 1, nuns would have stripped and done anything
for that guy. Yet he falls in love with Yoko. Now who are you to judge her?
If only out of respect for John, you should
understand that John saw something in her and that is all that matters to
you.

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:uY3Ma.1293$bD1.2...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| I wo[]
    Call me mad if you like, but I've been thinking about The Beatles today. Oh, aye. Great
band, they were. 'Eleanor Rigby', 'Drive My Car', 'She Loves You', 'Let It Be', 'Being For The
Benefit Of Mr Kite'... great songs all. But how come two of them have been the victims of
assassination attempts when quite clearly there are other bands more deserving of such
dubiously twisted "fan worship"? Just wondered, like. Poor John Lennon got the old colander
treatment, and George Harrison got stabbed to fuck a few weeks since. Meanwhile, what have,
say, the Rolling Stones ever had to endure? Fuck all, that's what. The Beatles were a clean
cut bunch of lovable lads from Liverpool. They never did no fucker no harm. Alright, so they
took a few drugs and said they were bigger than Jesus... what about it? They never did
anything unpleasant or even remotely controversial. The Rolling Stones, on the other hand,
were a right bunch of cunts. That Mick Jagger for a start... he went out with that Marianne
Faithful and shoved a Mars Bar up her snatch. Or a Milky Way or a Curly Wurly or summat like
that. Whatever, that was a disgusting thing to be doing to a young girl. You never saw John
Lennon ramming a Kit Kat up Cynthia's minge, did you? No fucking way. And Paul would never
have accosted Linda with a chocolate confectionery product... though I did hear tell that she
was partial to the odd Walnut Whip up her arse. But that's another story...
    Anyway, two of The Beatles have been attacked, and with quite nasty consequences. But how
come none of the Rolling Stones have ever been murdered? They were right bastards. Bill Wyman
was a paedophile who shagged thirteen-year-old kids, and Keith Richards has taken more drugs
than you'd find in a dozen Harold Shipman victims. As for that Brian Jones... well, he
drownded face down in his swimming pool after getting pissed, snorting crack and going for a
quick length or two of doggy paddle.
    It ain't fair. Christ, even two of the Small Faces are fucking dead, and there's only
Chrissie Hynde left out of the original Pretenders.
    Mind you... if I was a pop assassin, I'd have to give Steps the old Jill Dando housecall.
I really would - though not before I'd raped the stuffing out of that cheeky little bouncy
titty brunette. Dead fucking right.

Are you going to buy the piano or what?

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:SglMa.3266$eF3.4...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| Are you going to buy the piano or what?
    Of course I am, need wood for the fireplace.

"Leonard Spears"
Vien de la, semo drio castrar gatti

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:bdttl9$vr1j6$1...@ID-173504.news.dfncis.de...
|
| "Leonard Spears"
|
| Vien de la, semo drio castrar gatti
    Titolo del thread?

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:bdttr6$112gm9$1...@ID-161830.news.dfncis.de...

"Seriamente".
Ti consiglio di leggerti prima quello di t0uch "Seriamente", perche' da li
nasce tutto.
Secondo me e' un thread con del potenziale.
C'e' pure un ignoto che mi da una mano, ma non so chi sia, pensavo lallo, ma
non e' lui.

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:bdtu05$10bsdt$1...@ID-173504.news.dfncis.de...

    Arriva il Vicentino di Vicenza.



parli di me?

 parli di me?
SBAM.
PdG, sei ancora vivo?
PhFree
-- 
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 parli di me?
Eh no.. non mi tornano i conti con gli header.
Vabbe', un tizio.

 PdG, sei ancora vivo?
Si, perche'?
Senti PF, capisco che ora sei tutto gasato perche' ti han dato
dell'enigmista, figura senz'altro affascinante e criptica, pero' risparmiati
di scrivere cose a caso nella speranza che agli altri appaiano misteriose,
quando in realta' son semplici nonsense.
Anzi, mi e' venuta un idea.
Per ora:
foriero.

 foriero.
No, non va, PdG.
Riprova.


 Bella, PdG.
Beh, non e' strana.
Vogliamo fare l'ipotesi che a te piaccia questa mia (ma non solo mia, non ti
preoccupare) interpretazione?

 preoccupare) interpretazione?
Allora, Phil, sarebbe: *Beh, non sarebbe strana.*.
Ci sei?


 Ci sei?
Ho voluto azzardare, ma non credo di aver rischiato molto evitando di usare
il condizionale.

 Ho voluto azzardare, 
E come ti e' andata, PdG?


 E come ti e' andata, PdG?
Sei un fottuto narcisista, PF, e' andata bene.

 ti e' andata bene.
vero, PdG.


 Vedi che non capisci nulla, PdG?
Io vedo solo l'unica risposta che potevi dare.
Non la risposta sincera alla domanda.
Ah, devi spostarmi, in due thread.
Cavallo nero muove e fa scacco matto in due mosse, come a pagina 11 della
tua bibbia, quesito 134132 (soluzione a pagina 46 del prossimo numero, esce
il sabato)

Can I have the strings, with a certificate of authencity?

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:pKEMa.7564$Ec2.5...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| Can I have the strings, with a certificate of authencity?
    Sure, if you feel like digging at the city dump.

Is that where you live?

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:VD7Na.6250$eF3.8...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| Is that where you live?
    Why? Do you Canuck fags live in city dumps?

We can't afford to live in dumps!

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:jM5Oa.3885$ru2.1...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| We can't afford to live in dumps!
    If you fags can't afford dumps, well... I wonder where you live... how about sewers?

Most of us live in septic tanks.

 ha scritto nel messaggio
news:wGNOa.6707$ru2.6...@news20.bellglobal.com...
| Most of us live in septic tanks.
    There you go.