Newsgroup: it.discussioni.folli
Titolo: lettuce

You finally get the nerve to ask your new single neighbor over for
dinner. In the midst of conversation, a piece of lettuce flies out of
your mouth and lands on your glass. How do you react? 
1 - You're embarrassed and apologize profusely for being so gross 
2 - You laugh at yourself and turn it into a joke 
3 - You pretend not to notice, hoping that your date doesn't either 

3 - You pretend not to notice, hoping that your date doesn't either 
4 - You carelessly take the piece of lettuce with two fingers and eat
it
Beam
(such a gentleman!)
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during the great usenet battle of Fri, 13 Sep 2002 12:09:24 GMT, a
nutty netizen they called 
in...@giumello.com
 (Frenz Shaboo) spewed
forth the following rhetoric:

4 - you pick the lettuce off the glass and ask your date is she wants
it before you stick it back in your mouf.


5 - you pull down your pants and show your date your new penile
implant.


What kind of lettuce,  I hope it wasn't Iceberg.


What kind of lettuce,  I hope it wasn't Iceberg.
no no, would be too dangerous
it was Radicchio

Oh well in that case,  just carefully pick it off and gently wrap it in
a napkin and tell your new hottie that you are saving it for your pet
turtle.


Oh no, I like smoking radicchio. 
I'll save just the napkin for my turtle Gonorrea
Have you ever smoked radicchio ?


Noooooooooo,  should I?


...

You ask her what kind of dressing she would like to have with that lettuce ;-)


2 - You laugh at yourself and turn it into a joke 
--
Nigellius 
{delete 
NOT.ME
 to respond via email}



1. grab a utensil in either hand and scream, oh jesus, here come the
rabbits
2. stand up quickly, knocking your chair over backward and
3. hide under the table
--
JA15x6,2

turtle.
so close to a turtlehead joke, i can feel it.
--
JA15x6,2


None of the above.Being so embarrased ,you commit suicide by swallowing
the lettuce and hope it gets caught in your wind pipe.And if that
doesn't work you slash your neck with broken chards of glass.
COME ON LAUGH,WILL YOU :o) :o)



Welcome out of the closet, pazzo.  Finally, you contribute an original
suicide method.  Took a while, but glad to have you contributing
on-topic for a change.
BTW, why cross post to: it.discussioni.folli and alt.non.sequitur ?
Don't know what you normally discuss in the first group ... pizza
maybe?  But alt.non.sequitur gives us a little bit more insight about
who and what you are really are.
--
Nigellius {delete 
NOT.ME
 to respond via email}
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he 
thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long 
into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you
                     -- Friedrich Nietzsche


It wasn't a contibution it was a fucking joke.Read bottom of my
post.Like I am sure your post is.
Ask origianl poster about cross post address info.

oh yes. you must try radicchio,
its taste is bitter and somewhat spicy.
in the town where I live 
people use to smoke radicchio when they don't have enough money


 people use to smoke radicchio when they don't have enough money
in my town we shred radicchio into strips and use it for papier mache.  
i have a pinocchio puppet and a little ponte vecchio made from radicchio.
it can also be used for band aids and snuff.
d. plum


wrote:

4. you say: "Would you like a Mojito?"



5 - You tell the waiter, "Waiter, there's a fly in my glass" because
after all, most flies can't solve the Dirac equation.
-- 
This post brought to you courtesy of the Beet Man!

...

You can do what a friend told me his friend had done, back in high
school.
He's picking up his date for the prom, seated in her parents' front
room, as they talk to him. Behind the parents, she comes down the
stairs and manages to step on the hem of the gown, pulling it down and
leaving her bra in full display. The parents, hearing something, begin
to turn back toward her.
Her date, thinking to distract them until she can restore her gown,
points out the front picture window and cries "Wow, look at that!" The
parents do just that.
Then he looks the same way. On the front lawn, in front of the window,
two dogs are busily humping away.
The rest of the conversation with the parents was a little chilly.....

The rest of the conversation with the parents was a little chilly.....
Sounds like a minor urban legend, but I like it :-)



uh...i think it was supposed to be a metaphor.



Urban legends often are.



that's what they said while they were hanging the tourists

 Sounds like a minor urban legend, but I like it :-)
I dunno--my friend claimed to know the guy it happened to (of course,
I don't have any way of verifying that....)