Newsgroup: it.hobby.scuba
Titolo: Una cattiva giornata in ufficio (per un subacqueo)

Spero capiate l'inglese... a pensare che è una storia vera si muore...
pensate se succedesse ad uno di noi... è più di un'ora che sono qui a
sbellicarmi (ok Anna... il mio non è un duro lavoro :-)))))))))))))
Ciao
Sf
 Next time you think you have had a bad day, think about this guy...
 Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of
 Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
 Below is an email he sent to his sister. She sent it to Laughline and
 won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with her for that one).
 Anyway...anytime you think you have had a bad day at the office,
 remember this guy.
 April 1998
   Hi Sue,
 Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a
 bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
 so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
 not so bad after all.
 Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
 few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies at the bottom
 of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
 year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
 have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
 shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp.
 It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped
 to the air hose.
 Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times
 with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
 working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This
 floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
 Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.
 of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
 seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
 the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
 water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This
 is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast.
 Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so
 the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as
 fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
 grinding the jellyfish into my ass.
 I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
 instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other
 divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I
 was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
 35 minutes before I could come to the surface for my chamber dry
 decompression.  I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass
 helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the
 medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
 cream and told me to shove it" up my ass" when I get in the chamber. The
 cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my
 asshole was swollen shut.
 I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the
 suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship. Anyway, the
 next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how
 much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your
 ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope
 this will make them more tolerable.
 Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.
 Brian.
--
"Se vi è magia su questo pianeta, è contenuta nell'acqua...
La sua sostanza arriva ovunque;
interessa il passato e prepara il futuro;
scorre al di sotto dei poli e vaga sottile e alta nell'aria.
Può assumere forme di squisita perfezione
in un fiocco di neve o ridurre una creatura vivente
a un osso che luccica in balia del mare"
The immense journey
LOREN EISELEY

Ehi! scubaf
che dici gli brucera' ancora?
Sembra che il responsabile della piattaforma abbia deciso di installare un
secondo tubo come dispencer per a crema un comunicatore subacqueo per
sbellicarsi in diretta!
Bellissima!
-- 
"Se vi è magia su questo pianeta, è contenuta nell'acqua...
La sua sostanza arriva ovunque;
interessa il passato e prepara il futuro;
scorre al di sotto dei poli e vaga sottile e alta nell'aria.
Può assumere forme di squisita perfezione
in un fiocco di neve o ridurre una creatura vivente
a un osso che luccica in balia del mare"
LOREN EISELEY
.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.
GOOD IMMERSION !!!  GOOD IMMERSION !!!  GOOD IMMERSION !!!
.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.