Newsgroup: it.sport.formula1
Titolo: [ENG] - Montoya Pit communication from Canada

Long time readers may remember my transcripts of McLaren inter-team
communications (pit-to-car, pit wall-to-garage, etc) during the late
90’s and early 00’s. It’s been a while, but I’m happy to say that I had
a contact at the Canadian GP this weekend and can now bring irrefutable
proof of what happened during the race from the team’s perspective. I’m
still working through the transmission details from Lap 49 (Safety Car
period and Montoya’s second stop) but I can reveal the communications
between the pits and car no.10 at the first pit stop, on lap 25:
[Ron Dennis, Team Principle] – Phil, we are within the phase for Juan to
make his initial stop.
[Phil Prew, Montoya’s Race Engineer] – Um, OK. (changes channel) Juan,
this is Phil. Execute stop on this lap. Confirm.
[Juan Pablo Montoya] – OK Phil.
[PP] (to RD) - He’s coming in.
[PP] - Fisichella’s coming in as well.
[RD] - We must ensure that Juan Pablo reacquires the track with
locational advantage over the Renaults.
[PP] - Say again?
[RD] - Connect me to Juan’s primary communication channel (brief click)
Juan?
[PP] - Refuelling complete. He's clear of the box, pit lane speed
limiter working.
[RD] - Juan, we’ve analysed the current perambulation of Alonso and
there is a useful likelihood of your regaining the circuit with a
suitably advantageous station.
[JPM] - What?
[RD] - Providing there is not an unforeseen augmentation to Alonso’s
rapidity, you ought to attain a positional benefit.
[JPM] What?
[RD] – If these optimum conditions prevail, your current point of
locality will be obliged to performance of an upgrade to positioning
plus.
[JPM] What? Ack - rafaga... (unintelligible noises and grunts)
[PP] He’s off the track! He’s off the track!
[JPM] - Dammit Ron! You confused me with Ronspeak™ and now I’ve run wide
on the pit lane exit!
[RD] – What?
(crackle, leading to signal interrupt and white noise...)
I have now completed the exhaustive analysis of the transmissions
collected during laps 47-49. These transcripts cover the time from
Button’s accident, the subsequent Safety Car period and conclude shortly
after Montoya’s second pit stop:
[Phil Prew, Montoya’s Race Engineer] – Button’s hit the wall in the
final corner!
[Ron Dennis, Team Principle] – Phil, what is the probability of a Safety
Car deployment period?
[PP] - Uhhmm, Charlie (Whiting)’s having a look…
[RD] – Necessity stipulates that we ensure adequate provision for both
drivers to entertain their secondary cessation.
[PP] – What?
[RD] – Please impart the most contemporary location data for Juan Pablo.
[PP] - What?
[RD] – I require immediate confirmation of Juan’s current situational
status.
[PP] – What?
[Mark Slade, Raikkonen’s Race Engineer] – He wants to know where Juan is
on the track.
[PP] – Why didn’t he just…? (impatient noise) Fine. He’s… dammit, he’s
just passed the pit entrance – and the Safety Car’s out!
[RD] – Unfortunate. Juan Pablo will now have to undertake an additional
perambulation of the circuit’s full perimeter.
[PP] - What?
[RD] (turning) Mark, please make Kimi aware of the immediate
expectations of his secondary stipulated cessation.
[MS] What?
(An interruption in the recording occurs at this point. Following
hereafter is the transcript from lap 49)
[PP] – Montoya’s in the pit lane now. Blast it, we’ve really screwed
this up.
[RD] – Negative. Juan’s predilection for swift actionable motion should
still result in McLaren finishing first and second (to himself) just
with Kimi leading across the line… (louder) please reconnect me to
Juan’s foremost channel.
[PP] – What? After last time? I don’t think…
(feed cuts off with a channel changing ‘click’)
[RD] – Juan, you are required to egress your pit-box with all alacrity.
[Juan Pablo Montoya] - What?
[RD] – It is essential that you re-attain the track at a velocity
measurable with your contemporaries.
[JPM] - What?
[RD] – I suggest that a rapier-like momentum be employed without
tardiness.
[JPM] - What?
(sounds of a scuffle)
[PP] – Go Juan, go!
(more scuffling noises, coupled with what sounds like somebody shouting
about a light)
[RD] – Juan, you must not tolerate any supplementary vacillation to your
positional endeavouring.
[JPM] - What?
[PP] – The Safety Car! The pit lane red light was on!
(pause)
[JPM] - Dammit Ron! You confused me with Ronspeak™ and now I’ve jumped
the red light and nearly taken out Coulthard!
[RD] – Only nearly?
(crackle, sound of what could be an engineering headset being flung from
the pit wall, followed by signal interrupt)
-- 
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David Mancini ha scritto:
ROTFL

Who are you?

[RD] – Juan, you must not tolerate any supplementary vacillation to >your
positional endeavouring.
Ronspeak™ reminds me of the strict Managerese language which is depicted so
well in the cartoon "Dilbert".
Regards,
-- 
SNAFU
Per rispondermi privatamente, sostituisci "snaphoo" con "snafu"
To reply via e-mail, please remember to replace "snaphoo" with "snafu"

David Mancini ha scritto:
WHAT?
chiaramente e' uno scherzo. :)
vero? :/
ditemi che e' uno scherzone,dai....
mrt^^

David Mancini ha scritto:
rotflissimo
please, altri ronspeaks...!
mkI
-- 
Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? 
- Bill Hicks
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 please, altri ronspeaks...!
"While the intial result vis a vis our performance- judged aspects at
the Melbourne race could be considered non-optimum by some parties, I
prefer to synergise the core business' inherent excellence with our
quality culture to ensure stakeholder satisfaction in the medium to long
term."


 long term."
What?
MaxArt

 ditemi che e' uno scherzone,dai....
Ovviamente... Ma sarebbe davvero interessante sapere che si sono detti.
MaxArt

 What?
ROTFL!
mrT^^