Newsgroup: it.sport.americani
Titolo: [da rcb] BOSTON RED SOX TO NEW YORK YANKEES CONVERSION FORM

BOSTON RED SOX TO NEW YORK YANKEES CONVERSION FORM
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the New York
Yankees Fan Club.  Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are
currently processing only fan conversion registrations for Boston Red
Sox fans.  Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once
all Red Sox requests are processed.  We expect this to take a number
of weeks based on the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to
help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling
to recover from your previous fan experience.
Name:
__________________________________________________________________
Last          (Please Print)                 First                  MI
Address:
_________________________________________________________________
               #                           Street
_________________________________________________________________
City                      State                               Zip
1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Boston Red Sox win
the World Series:
[  ] 1918 (Please leave this form at the front desk of your nursing
home)
[  ] Have never witnessed this event
2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Red Sox history: (Check
all that apply)
[  ] Babe Ruth sold to the Yankees
[  ] Pesky holds the ball as the Yankees score the winning run in '48
[  ] Bob Gibson shuts down the Sox in the '67 series
[  ] Sox trade Sparky Lyle to the Yankees for Danny Cater
[  ] Big Red Machine beats the Sox in Game 7 of the '75 Series
[  ] Sox lose 14 ½ game lead to the Yankees in '78
[  ] Bucky Dent homers in '78 playoff game
[  ] Bob Stanley throws wild pitch in 6th game of '86 Series
[  ] Grounder goes through Bill Buckner's legs in the 6th game of '86
Series
[  ] Future Hall of Famer Wade Boggs signs to play with the Yankees
[  ] Wade Boggs rides policeman's horse after Yanks win '96 Series
[  ] Future Hall of Famer Roger Clemens traded to the Yankees
[  ] Yanks wipe out Sox in five games in '99 ALCS
[  ] Roger Clemens wins game 4 for the Yanks to clinch the '99 Series
3. Reasons you believe the Sox have not won a World Series since 1918:
(Check all that apply)
[  ] The curse of the Babe
[  ] Lack of Pitching
[  ] The curse of the Babe
[  ] Lack of Hitting
[  ] The curse of the Babe
[  ] Lack of Defense
[  ] The curse of the Babe
[  ] Bad calls by Umpires
[  ] The curse of the Babe
4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable
Red Sox loss: (Check all that apply)
[  ] Headache  [  ]  Uncontrolled Anger
[  ] Heartache  [  ]  Holes punched in doors or walls
[  ] Nausea      [  ]  Smashed TV screens
[  ] Depression [  ]  Avoided Yankee fans for days or weeks
5. Is October your least favorite time of year? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
6. Are you tired of saying "Wait till next year"? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
7. Are you ready to admit that:
a. Joe DiMaggio was better than Ted Williams? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
b. Thurman Munson was better than Carlton Fisk? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
c. Derek Jeter is better than Nomar Garciaparra? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
d. Don Zimmer is a managerial genius? [  ]  Yes [  ]  No
e. The Sox next century will be no better than the last? [  ]  Yes
     [ ]  No
f. The "Green Monster" is ugly and stupid? [  ]  Yes [  }  No
Once you have completed this form, please forward to Yankee Stadium.
Then burn all your remaining Red Sox clothing, memorabilia, and
associated reminders.  After reviewing your request, the Yankee Fan
Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.
If accepted, you will receive:
· A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of
Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York" over and over again
· An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2003 World Series at Yankee
Stadium
· Posters of Boggs and Clemens in Yankee uniforms wearing their
championship rings
· A dart board sporting a picture of Yaz
· A copy of our popular handbook, "Harassing Red Sox Fans for Fun and
 Profit"
· A coupon for a future poster of Pedro Martinez in a Yankee uniform
· A one-year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Red Sox
fans in your area
If rejected, you will receive:
· Our pity and condolences, plus a 26 second video capturing the past
100 years of Red Sox highlights in head-to-head competition against
the Yankees narrated by George "Boomer" Scott.
I hereby renounce the Boston Red Sox for all eternity on this the
______ day of ________________, 200__
____________________________________
(Signed)
(Office Use Only)
[  ] Approved  [  ] Declined
___________________________
George M. Steinbrenner III

 [Cut]
ROTFL!!!

avanti siore e siori, siete tutti invitati a partecipare!!!
^__________*
--
"Francesco Gasparetti"
#1 YANKEES' FAN
Knickerbocker Inside
e-mail: 
f_gasp...@virgilio.it
ICQ#: 25226990