Newsgroup: it.sport.americani
Titolo: MLB - La salsiccia di Milwaukee

Come avrete visto, a Milwaukee il primabase dei Pirates Randall Simon ha
colpito con la mazza una ragazza che indossando un costume da salsiccia
stava gareggiando nella classica corsa per insaccati che in quella città è
una specie di tradizione.
Qui copio-incollo un divertente commento di 
espn.com
 sull'accaduto.
Ciao a tutti
Gierre (assente stasera e purtroppo anche domani, troppo stanco)
================================
Police report: Sausagegate
Page 2 staff
Remember this: Randall Simon is innocent until proven guilty. Page 2 has
received a copy of the complete police report from the incident, so read
through the evidence before you declare Simon be sent to jail.
Date: July 9, 2003
The crime: Alleged misdemeanor battery (assault on a sausage with a baseball
bat)
The victim: Italian Sausage
The alleged perpetrator: Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon
Scene of the crime: Third-base side of Miller Park, Milwaukee, Wis.
Witnesses: Polish Sausage, Bratwurst, Hot Dog, 25 Pittsburgh Pirates, 25
Milwaukee Brewers and at least 50 people in the stands.
The incident: As the four sausages were coming toward the finish line during
their traditional race after the sixth inning, Simon allegedly whacked
Italian Sausage over the head with a wood bat (presumably uncorked), causing
the meat of the savory Italian variety to fall to the ground and also trip
up the Hot Dog in the process. The Polish and the Brat somehow managed to
escape harm.
The Italian Sausage was treated at the scene for scraped knees (sausages
have knees?), and was last seen diving into a cab with a towel over its head
and rushing to a local hospital with three members of its entourage. The Hot
Dog also suffered scraped outer casing. The Bratwurst won the race and
refused to cooperate with investigators on the scene. Baseball commissioner
Bud Selig declared the race "a tie" -- as is tradition for all controversial
events at Miller Park.
One TV reporter claimed he had known the Italian Sausage since he "came into
baseball as just a small link" and that it would be totally "out of
character" for the sausage to provoke anyone.
Physical evidence: Raw meat remnants along the third-base line indicate that
a fall took place. Ketchup stains were spotted as far away as the second
deck. Simon's bat (taken into custody) smelled like a Fourth of July
barbeque.
One witness said the entire incident was a blur, but that it appeared the
Italian Sausage was attacked by either a large blob of mustard or a large
banana. Investigators noted that Simon was wearing the Pirates' all-yellow
throwback uniform from head to toe.
Simon's alibi: Official baseball statistics show Simon has not had a hit in
the month of July, so the chances of the .272-hitter being able to nail a
speeding sausage are very slim. Also, Simon claims to be a vegetarian and
says he would never "harm a sausage or any other meat product."
Simon also claimed the sausage was "going down anyway" and said "it's
impossible to run with a head that big because it makes you top heavy." He
also claimed that he never actually made contact with the sausage's head
because "that freakin' chef hat is a foot and a half tall."
Possible motive(s): Witnesses near the Pirates dugout claim they heard Simon
declare that he felt the Italian Sausage was "a real brat." One anonymous
teammate claimed Simon had "bet Wednesday's meal money" on the race and made
a panicked attempt to try to fix the race at the last minute.
Character assessment: It should also be noted that Simon is a notorious
free-swinger who hacks at just about anything. Weighing in at 242 pounds for
his booking, the 6-foot Simon also doesn't appear to be a man who is truly
abstaining from meat.
The suspect entered the interview room with mustard smudges on his shirt and
a glob of relish on his bottom lip. Interrogating officers, shocked by his
casual disregard for the gravity of the situation, and troubled by his
cruel, steely gaze, wiped his face clean and pushed him into a chair. The
suspect responded only with a belch and a sick, satisfied chuckle.
Possible accomplice: After the hot dog tripped over the fallen Italian
Sausage, the Polish Sausage turned to help its injured racers The Bratwurst,
however, kept on going and crossed the finish line in first place. After the
race, the Brat claimed innocence. "Somebody had to (win), I guess," it said.
However, the Brat does trail the season race standings.
Possible conspirator: Last September, officials from PETA faxed the Brewers
asking that the Veggie Dog (aka "Soysage") be added to the sausage race. "If
given a sporting chance, our lean, mean veggie dog might run rings around
those fatty 'brats' in the sausage race," PETA's Dan Shannon said at the
time. "The Veggie Dog would be a big hit, especially with hip, young
baseball fans." The request was turned down by the Brewers, however.
Considering PETA's history of violent protest, we advise an interview with
Mr. Shannon and place a trace on phone calls from Mr. Shannon's office or
house to the Pirates' clubhouse.
--------------------------------
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>Gierre (assente stasera e purtroppo anche domani, troppo stanco)
Mi spiace :-(((((((((((((((((((
-- 
Giovanni (AKA John Hooks)
Per conto dello Studio Catrame & Associates
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