Newsgroup: it.sport.americani
Titolo: Il football per neofiti

Nel caso non siate proprio degli esperti di football ma vogliate
approfondire i meccanismi principali del gioco, vi posto un
regolamento del football per neofiti che vi chiarira' numerosi dubbi:
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THE RULES OF AMERICAN PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL
Football is played on a field that is 100 yards (374 kilometers) long
and is covered with lines called "hash marks" to indicate where
players have lost their breakfasts.  On either side of the field are
benches, where the 350 players not involved in the game sit and wave
to their Moms.  
Behind each bench is a big plastic jug of a substance called Gatorade.
The object of the game is to be the first team to dump this on the
"coach", a very angry man who hates everybody.
The game is divided into four 15 minute quarters, each of which lasts
over three hours.  Time-outs may be called by anybody at any time for
any reason, including political unrest in Guatemala.  Between the
second and third quarters, there is a half-time musical extravaganza
in which Neil Diamond, Toni Tenille, the Muppets and the late Al Hirt
join with every human being who has ever auditioned for "Star Search"
to perform "A Tribute To Medleys."
The game begins when a small man of foreign extraction kicks the
pigskin or "ball" as far as possible, then wisely scuttles off the
field.  
The referee then places the ball on an imaginary "line of scrimmage,"
which is only visible to the referee and his imaginary friend, Mr.
Pootywinkle.  On either side of this line, the two teams form
"huddles," where they decide who will perform the traditional
celebratory dance when the upcoming "play" is over.
The "play" itself happens very quickly, so you foreign persons must
not blink, or you'll miss it.  Here's what happens:
1. A large player called the "center" squats over the ball, and then
the "quarterback" touches him in a way that would get them both
executed in the Middle East.
2. All the players run into each other and fall down.
3. Certain players leap to their feet and perform celebratory dances,
while referees add to the festivity by hurling brightly colored flags
into the air, usually at a team called the "Rams" (for gap)
Now comes the heart and soul of football, watching slow motion replays
of the players falling down.  You will see this from every possible
point of reference, including the Hubble telescope.
You'll see so many replays that at some point you'll swear that, in
the background, you can see Mr. Pootywinkle.
When the replays are finally over, the referee formally announces that
the plat does not count.  Then it's time fr eight commercials
featuring sport utility vehicles climbing Mount Everest, then it's
back to the huddles for more nonstop action!
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Ciao
Massimo

bello, potevi tradurlo perň...
:-))))))
Marco

THE RULES OF AMERICAN PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL
Due risate di prima mattina fanno veramente bene!!!!!
-- 
Giovanni (AKA John Hooks)
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Huddle Magazine
http://www.huddle.org
Vuoi saperne di piu' su Ispa??
http://members.xoom.it/ispa

THE RULES OF AMERICAN PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL
ROTFL!!!!!!
Saluti.
Diego
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