Newsgroup: it.fan.starwars
Titolo: falme war... pronti... VIA!

Seguendo l'esempio di Roland, riaccendo lo scontro del secolo:
Top 10 Reasons Why Star Wars Characters Would Kick Ass in the Star Trek
Universe
    1.In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever, are set on
"stun". 
    2.The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit
and a crew of twenty just to go into warp. The
      Millennium falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie. 
    3.After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader,
Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable. After pithy
      Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell. 
    4.One word: lightsabers. 
    5.Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance. 
    6.The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not. 
    7.Luke Skywalker not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he
encounters. 
    8.Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his
action. 
    9.The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named
"Slave I". 
   10.Picard pilots Enterprise thorough asteroid belt at one-quarter
impulse power. Han Solo floors it. 
Reasons why Star Wars is Better than Star Trek
    1.Star Trek doesn't have any wookies 
    2.Star Wars's captains and leaders are cool; they are not stuffy like
Starfleet 
    3.Star Wars doesn't have any overly emotional old hags that can't
figure out how to go home 
    4.The guns used in Star Wars are real English Sterling machine guns
and German Mausers...not dustbusters! 
    5.Ten Forward doesn't have a cool Bith band 
    6.Grand Admiral Thrawn could have defeated the Borg at Wolf 359! 
    7.Star Trek's bald captain--covered in cybernetics--was only the
spokesmind for the Borg. Lando's bald
      right-hand man, with just a cool walkman on his head, had the
entirety of Cloud City at his every command. 
    8."Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds cooler than "Captain
Jean-Luc Picard." 
    9.Imperial and rebel uniforms actually have POCKETS 
   10.The Federation has ships named Voyager, Reliant, and
Enterprise...the Empire has ships named Devastator,
      Avenger, and Executor 
   11.Star Trek robots can not use contractions and have trouble with
emotions. Star Wars robots can speak over 6 million
      forms of communication fluently and whistle to themselves just
because they're in the mood too. 
10. Where's the alternative song dedicated to Troi? Blink 182 made the
song "A New Hope" dedicated to
Princess Leia!
9. Weird Al wrote the song Yoda, what song is out there about Q, let
alone written by Weird Al!
8. Frank Oz of the muppets was in Star Wars. Star Trek couldn't even get
Frank Oz's Latin American equal if
they wanted to!
7. There is a category in Yahoo! titled Anti-Star Trek!
6. Let's look at the actors that came out of both series: Out of Star
Trek came William Shatner, and Patrick
Stewart. Out of Star Wars came Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher,
James Earl Jones, SIR Alec
Guiness and Peter Cushing!
5. Star Trek could never get a good music composer, so they changed
periodically, finally ending up with Jerry
Goldsmith, a mediocre composer with a couple of movies below his belt.
Star Wars has always had John
Williams, a music GOD who is also one of the most respected music
composers that has ever graced god's green
earth and has composed over 120 projects to date!
4. Gene Rodenberry, the creator of Star Trek, is right now cremated
flying around in space in a little pod.
George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, is still out there making more
Star Wars films!
3. Star Trek changes special FX companies every once and a while because
they are never happy with them.
Star Wars launched their own special FX company, ILM, which is grown to
be a HUGE success, not to mention
another FX company started by Lucas, THX, also a huge company!
2. The games Star Wars have had are Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back,
Return of the Jedi, all for Nintendo;
Super Star Wars, Super Empire Strikes Back, Super Return of the Jedi, all
for Super Nintendo; Shadows of the
Empire, for N64; Masters of Teras Kasi, for Playstation; and Dark Forces,
Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight,
X-Wing, TIE Fighter, X-Wing Vs. TIE Fighter, Star Wars Monopoly, and Yoda
Stories, all for the computer!
Star Trek has Star Fleet Academy, and a couple other CD-ROM's for
information purposes only!
1. When's the last time anyone from Star Trek has even been ON MTV?
Chewbacca is the 1997 MTV Lifetime
Achievement Award Winner!!!!!!!!!
10. In Star Wars, every planet they go to looks cool and has neat aliens.
In Star Trek, every planet looks like a
blue-screened backlot and all the aleins are extras Gene Roddenberry
slept with.
9. No lame-ass "Prime Directive" stopping you from whipping ass.
8. When a ship in Star Wars gets hit, everyone rolls in the same
direction.
7. Stormtroopers may not be able to hit the broadside of a barn, but
they're still a lot more threatening than a
space-faring Abraham Lincoln.
6. In Star Wars, all chicks are fair game. Heck, even your sister.
5. Han Solo never had to degrade himself by shooting a baggy-suited
reptilian alien with a hollow log and some
charcoal.
4. You can safely wear a red shirt in Star Wars.
3. Luke Skywalker could kick Wesley Crusher's ass with one hand behind
his back. Hell, Luke's cut-off hand
could kick Wesley's ass with itself tied behind its back.
2. Kirk would have just used the Force to "get some."
1. Roddenberry=dead. Lucas=genius.
10. Two words: John Williams
9. In Star Wars, they know to keep bald heads (Darth Vader's) under
helmets
8. More belching muppets in Star Wars
7. William Shatner has never directed Star Wars
6. No Star Wars plots revolve around trying to locate source of unknown
radiaton/tachyons/muons/pulse/flux/particles etc
5. No Lxwana Troi
4. The planets in Star Wars don't all look like the same adobe villas
left over from the "Zorro" TV series
3. Aliens with alien accents
2. Rust
1. "Star Trek 5"
February 1998
10. In Star Wars they have BLASTers and there's no such thing as a "stun
setting".
9. Picard shows his dislike of children by not having them. Vader shows
his dislike by seducing them with the
dark side.
8. Alec Guinnes is a SIR. Patrick Stewart is not.
7. The Federation has the Prime Directive. The Empire has the Death Star.
6. One word: HELMETS
5. Star Wars happened a long, long time ago. It's historical fact.
4. Jean-Luc rides horses. Luke rides Taun-Tauns.
3. Jawas are cooler than Ferengi.
2. Brother/sister kissing scenes.
1. NO Wesley Crusher!
10. An X-wing could toast any of there fighters any day.
9. Sick bay is for wimps!
8. Speeder bikes are too fast and dangerous for the Trekkies, they might
get hurt.
7. What's up with LaForge's visor/glasses, he looks like Cyclops from the
X-Men!
6. The Death Star could blow up the Enterprise in one shot!
5. Picard's head is so bald, you could almost see what's on his mind. (If
he had one)
4. Who do you think would win on a head on collision, a Super Star
Destroyer, or the Enterprise?
3. Worf has more rolls on his head then that in a bakery!
2. Deflecting phaser shots and cutting the Star Trek cadets heads off
with your lightsaber rules!
1.Chewbacca can kick Worf's ass!
10. Star Wars at least has aliens who aren't just humans in costumes with
two legs and two arms.
9. Star Wars has no characters who look like they can file mail on their
foreheads.
8. Star Wars officers wear respectible attire while star trek losers wear
tight spandex, jumpsuits that look lie
they came out of a jazzercise lesson. not to mention that it really looks
perverse.
7. In Star Wars, the interiors of the ships were not decorated by better
homes and gardens. (i.e. faggy pastel
colours)
6. The Star Wars universe does not include that abortion of a hat that
whoopi goldberg wears in star trek!!
5. Darth Vader
4. The Dark Side of the Force is more powerful than the Q!
3. Chewie is quite capable of freeing warf of his knee caps.
2. There are no klingons that cling to uranus!
1. STAR WARS WAS MADE IN 1977 AND ITS SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE BETTER THAN
THOSE OF star trek (KNOWN AS A RIDICULOUS EXCUSE FOR SCI-FI) NOW!!!!!
10. The aliens in Star Wars don't look like humans.
9.Luke could whip Data's ass.
8.Star Fleet vs. Imperial Navy(you decide).
7.In Star Wars when our shields are down we still have the guts to
attack.
6.A lightsaber goes through Borg like a hot knife through butter.
(Assimilate this!)
5. A 900 year old three-foot green alien could kick the hell out of Kirk
and Picard at the same time.
4. A Death Star could annihilate the Borg in a second.
3. Chewie could kick Worf and any other Klingon's butt.
2. Darth Vader vs. Kirk(need I say more?).
1. There is no logic only the FORCE!!!!!!
10: Two words: Boba Fett.
9: The guns are real English Sterling machine guns and German
Mausers...not dustbusters!
8: Ten Forward doesn't have a cool Bith band! (Heck--they couldn't even
get Max Rebo to play there!)
7: I bet Grand Admrial Thrawn could have defeated the Borg at Wolf 359!
6: ST's bald captain--covered in cyberenetics--was only the spokesmind
for the Borg. Lando's bald right-hand
man, with just a cool walkman on his head, had the entirety of Cloud City
at his every command.
5: "Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds cooler than "Captain
Jean-Luc Picard."
4: Imperial and rebel uniforms actualy have POCKETS!
3: The Federation has ships named Voyager, Reliant, and Enterprise...the
Empire has ships named Devistator,
Avenger, and Executor!
2: Star Trek robots can not use contractions and have trouble with
emotions. Star Wars robots can speak over 6
million forms of communication fluently and whistle to themselves just
because they can.
1.Captain Picard only cried like a baby in a vinyard after turning evil
and being rescued. Anakin Skywalker
kicked the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy's ass!
10: "Look sir, droids!"
9: No time travellers picking up their own heads!
8: No alternate universes!
7: No transporters to save your butt at the last minute!
6: Aliens with makeup somewhere besides their foreheads!
5: Starship battles in three dimensions!
4: War, not neutral zones!
3: No ultra-powerful aliens with one-letter names!
2: No holodecks for lame plot ideas invented by actors!
1: Leia in the harem girl outfit at Jabba's!
10) A Trekkies hero is some pansy running around in pastel spandex.
9) Ships in star wars actually have modifications.
8) Gene Roddenbery has also created a crap TV series called Earth: The
Final Conflict that gets worse ratings
than UPN. George Lucas has also created the blockbuster American
Graffiti.
7) Picard dodges asteroids. Vader blows them up.
6) Star Trek has Cptn. Janeway. Star Wars has Princess Leia.
5) Star Trek has one language. Star Wars has over 6 million.
4) Two words: Boba Fett.
3) Remind me again who can kill someone with a mere hand motion.
2) The Super Star Destroyer Eclipse is 30 times bigger than the
enterprise.
1) Star Trek Officers have to ask for permission to fire.
-- 
Andrea Nicosia	ICQ: 5641453
Racconti On Line: 
http://gilda.it/grimalkin
Per i Fan di Guerre Stellari: 
http://gilda.it/starwars

>1. Roddenberry=dead. Lucas=genius.
Ehm...questa è un pò cattivella. Per il resto è divertente :)
Che la Forza sia con Voi,
Roland di Gilead
dco...@tin.it
__________________________________________________________________
La Grandezza comprende la vita, e la Torre comprende la Grandezza.
************************************************************************
"Mi ha insegnato che se uccidi ciò che ami, sei dannato per sempre"
"Io sono già dannato" disse Roland con calma "Ma forse anche chi è dannato
può essere salvato". [...]
"Ma di che cosa stai parlando?"
"Di tutto quello che c'è" rispose pacatamente il pistolero "Andremo, Eddie.
Combatteremo. Soffriremo. E alla fine ci saremo".
Ora toccò ad Eddie non parlare. Non avrebbe saputo cosa dire.
Roland gli prese delicatamente un braccio. "Anche i dannati amano" mormorò.
__________________________________________________________________

1. There is no logic only the FORCE!!!!!!
Mi sembra che quest'ultima sia la degna conclusione!
A questo punto suppongo che se un solo fan di Kirk leggerà uno dei miei post
mi troverò ad avere una taglia sulla testa ^______^
Saluti
                        Allanon
   email:        
ab...@freemail.it
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 Legge di Haldane: "L'universo non è soltanto più bizzarro di quanto
 ci immaginiamo, è più bizzarro di quanto ci possiamo immaginare"
 La Quinta Legge: "Vi siete presi troppo sul serio"
     - A.Bloch "La legge di Murphy" -
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io l'ho stampata e sto cercando di tradurla.
Il poco che ho capito, perň, mi ha fatto ridere!
--
Cinzia Nedjem
ICQ # 19538493
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Enchete penchete puffetinč
abele fabele dominč,
em, pem, puff, luff, traus e raus.
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