Newsgroup: it.fan.starwars
Titolo: Attack of the GROANS

CAUTION:  Spoilers and Complaints about Star Wars II below.
The real title of Star Wars Episode II should be Attack of the Groans,
because that's what I kept hearing from the audience.
I just saw it Saturday.  I've been told that many of the theatres have
refused to even show it.  When I went, I could see why.  It was given a
small screen, and the seats were not even 1/3 full.  It felt more like going
to a Saturday matinee of a kiddie cartoon that had already been showing for
several months.  The theatre was THAT empty! The movie was SO BAD, my
expectations were low after seeing the piece of crud Phantom Menace, but I
was still disappointed.
I'm surprised Lucas didn't just get rid of all the actors and make the
entire movie digitalized. It was way too
digitalized, it stunk.  One of the things that makes good movies great is
good acting ability.  You can't replace that with computer generated stuff.
The movie was too hollow.  That and charactors that didn't make sense
because they weren't developed properly.
Some of it was too fast, most of it was slow and dull. The part that I
thought was too fast was how Anakin had been dreaming his whole life about
Padme.  He was a boy when he met her?  Now he's a teenager and he still
knows she's the one for him?
And then... what kind of desperate girl falls for a guy who speaks so
straight and instantly about loving her, even though in reality they barely
know each other?
He was lazy, creepy, stupid...
At least her character improved a tad bit, though her clothing did not (did
anybody else notice that dress she was wearing that had the pattern of a
target conveniantly centered between her legs?  Or another outfit with the
two arrows on her top, also accurately pointed?)
For the first time, I could almost picture her as Leia's mother.  When she
took care of herself, when she was fiesty, when she climbed up the chain,
when she was running through the robot assembly line dodging the hazards,
etc.  She is pretty - why do they dress her like such a freak?
And, if she's really that smart, creative, responsible... how does it make
any sense for her first response to Anakin (after he told her he
killed/slaughtered not only all the men, but their women and children) is to
go comfort him!?  If some guy told me he'd just murdered one person, let
alone a group of people, I'd recoil in horror - or run away from him
quickly!
So what was their point?  That women are so stupid they can fall for any
guy, no matter how awful, as long as they spend time together?  I was
gagging at most of their scenes together.  And the audience groaned a lot.
It was painfully disgusting to watch.
Anakin had no redeeming qualities.  His charactor was completely
unbelievable, I thought.  Don't Jedi's receive strict training?  How stupid
does he look when he goes against his master and disagrees in front of
others?  I think it's okay for him to disagree, and speak to his master in
private... but I was thinking Obi-Wan should have just killed him on the
spot for his incredible and repeated disrespect.
What about 3PO's winning lines?  "I'm beside myself!"
They were actually just a little bit punny, and the kind of humor I normally
enjoy, but it didn't even come close to making me laugh.  They did not fit
at all with the movie.  They were stupid.
I was kept wondering why they were trying to kill Amidala!  I guess they
were too busy boring us with
trivial politics to let us in on that tiny detail.
I would really have loved for them to kill Jar-Jar! But I guess it wasn't in
the episode because it would have been too good of a thing to put in the
movie.  I personally would have loved to have seen Anakin chopping of
Jar-Jar's head, and then barbequing him and eating all his pieces, and then
crapping the digested remains out.  Yeah, something like that.
When Anakin & Obi-Wan were in the Arena surrounded by droids, I was
wondering why they were overpowered so easily.  But then, I was expecting
master Yoda to come by, and with a wave of his hand knock over and depower
ALL of the droids.  Instead, he came with the clones, which I guess was
okay.
However, did Yoda seem weaker in this movie than in the one where he is
training Luke?  I couldn't believe that he didn't beat the bad Jedi, whom he
trained!  Also, when the bad guy knocked the beam over onto Obi-Wan and
Anakin, I think Yoda should have gone after the bad guy and let the two
weaklings get crushed.  He could have fried them up as pancakes later :)
But seriously, that action would have saved much grief in the future.  And
especially since we'd just heard Obi-Wan lecture Anakin about not letting
his personal feelings get in the way of duty - wouldn't it make sense for
Yoda to let the two of them die in order to stop a larger evil?
MY OTHER COMPLAINTS:
Stupid Timing:
When Anakin finds his mother.  She's hurt and tied up inside the tent
thingy.  He goes in, frees her, and just as she's lying in his arms and
saying hello to him, she dies.  Boy what perfect timing.
Ships getting blown up JUST after the good guys disembark
Also, the fact that Anakin has been having bad dreams about his mother all
month, yet he all of a sudden must go find her?  and him saying that he has
"no choice" just shows how incredibly stupid he is.
Oh, and while I'm on that - the creep who used to own him and his mother
sure seemed to give him the information easily.  Wasn't he more difficult to
deal with in Episode 1?
Weak Jedi's
They put even more limits on The Force in this Episode than in Episode one.
The mind trick only works on WEAK minded?  The dark side can block all the
Jedi masters from knowing what's going on in the Universe? Yoda senses
Anakin in pain, but is blindly unaware of the fact that he just killed lots
of people, which conveniantly never comes up again in the movie.
The yellow car-looking ship that Anakin borrowed, didn't seem to fit in the
movie too well, I thought.
Yoda asking the children about the missing planet.  Duh!  He could have
asked Homer Simpson for that brilliant answer! I mean, if he'd asked the
kids something else, and they'd actually had a wise or unique thought that
was the answer, that would have been one thing. But I thought Obi-Wan and
Yoda both seemed like fools in this scene.
Yoda seems to have lost his seemingly-inifinite wisdom from the origional
Star Wars.  Even his playful side seems stupidly childish instead of funny.
He just seems old and dumb and weak.  Doesn't make any sense.  I'd think he
should be more in his prime at this point.
Aren't these Star Wars movies a big display case for the special effects
company that Lucas now owns?  Maybe he's using the movies as advertising for
his own company, just under the guise of being a real movie.
Still, I think it's shameful for him to ruin his name on these movies.
Disgusting way to go out.


padawanker

> I would really have loved for them to kill Jar-Jar! But I guess it wasn't
in
I would see it twice if Jar-Jar had walked out of the Amidala's starship
(together with the double) and got blown to smittereens by the bounty
hunter.

was still disappointed.
The Cineplex I went to had it on 5 of their 10 screens and all the
showings on Saturday sold out. The audience was into it throughout, I
heard no groans and we applauded at the end. This was a huge
improvement over TPM which was greeted with a stunned silence at the
end. 

The vision of Emperor Vosch is being fulfilled, the reign of utter terror
has begun.
~Empire Rising Storm~ 
http://home.att.net/~imperial-warlord
~Empire Reign of Terror~ 
http://home.att.net/~imperial-warlord/rotindex.htm
ICQ#54646557
"Sprgtime" <no....@wanted.here> wrote in message
news:WxJF8.181591$M7.18...@bin7.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...

Riiiiiiight, and if it's so bad the why has it clocked in 116 million so
far? You have to have a bit of imagination to enjoy the STORY that's being
told, and quite frankly I find your lack of imagination disturbing.