A method for selectively allowing or denying communication access to a recipient user coupled to an electronic communications network by other users coupled to the electronic communications network, said recipient user having an associated recipient identifier, the method comprising the steps of: A. generating a plurality of proxy identifiers associated with said recipient user, each of said proxy identifiers having at least three associated security states, a first of said states being indicative of allowing any other user coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user, a second of said states being indicative of denying any other user coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user, and a third of said states being conditionally indicative of allowing at least one but fewer than all other users coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user if predetermined criteria are met and denying access to said recipient user otherwise; B. receiving an inbound message from a sender user coupled to said electronic communication network including a sender identifier and said recipient identifier, said sender identifier being associated with the sender user of said inbound message, and said recipient identifier being one of said proxy identifiers, and transferring said inbound message to a location associated with the one of said proxy identifiers; C. processing said transferred inbound message to determine a security status associated therewith, said security status being related to said sender identifier and said recipient identifier, and D. pursuant to said determination, controlling communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user by allowing communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user when said security status meets one or more predetermined criteria at least partially related to said security state of said one proxy identifier, and denying communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user otherwise, wherein said recipient user can alter the sender user's exemption status from the controlled communication access. A. generating a plurality of proxy identifiers associated with said recipient user, each of said proxy identifiers having at least three associated security states, a first of said states being indicative of allowing any other user coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user, a second of said states being indicative of denying any other user coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user, and a third of said states being conditionally indicative of allowing at least one but fewer than all other users coupled to said electronic communication network communication access to said recipient user if predetermined criteria are met and denying access to said recipient user otherwise; B. receiving an inbound message from a sender user coupled to said electronic communication network including a sender identifier and said recipient identifier, said sender identifier being associated with the sender user of said inbound message, and said recipient identifier being one of said proxy identifiers, and transferring said inbound message to a location associated with the one of said proxy identifiers; C. processing said transferred inbound message to determine a security status associated therewith, said security status being related to said sender identifier and said recipient identifier, and D. pursuant to said determination, controlling communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user by allowing communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user when said security status meets one or more predetermined criteria at least partially related to said security state of said one proxy identifier, and denying communication access for said transferred inbound message to said recipient user otherwise, wherein said recipient user can alter the sender user's exemption status from the controlled communication access.