A server (2905, 110) for a peer-to-peer relay network, comprising: means for adding a joining peer system to a peer-to-peer relay network, comprising; opening means operable to open a connection between the server and the joining peer system; providing means operable to provide grid information to said joining peer system indicating one or more established peer-to-peer relay networks; receiving means operable to receive a grid selection from said joining peer system indicating a selected peer-to-peer relay network, wherein said selected peer-to-peer relay network has one or more member peer systems; providing means operable to provide network addresses of each of said one or more member peer systems to said joining peer system; and receiving means operable to receive a connection update from said joining peer system indicating to which member peer systems said joining peer system is connected; wherein each member peer system is connected to a number of other member peer systems that is less than or equal to a connection limit and each member peer system stores a set of one or more relay rules for relaying data to the other member peer systems connected to that member peer system; and characterized by selecting means operable to select a member peer system as a force connection peer system; sending means operable to send a force connection request to said force connection peer system, wherein said force connection request requests that said force connection peer system close one of the open connections of said force connection peer system; and sending means operable to send a connection request to said force connection peer system to open a connection to the joining peer system. means for adding a joining peer system to a peer-to-peer relay network, comprising; opening means operable to open a connection between the server and the joining peer system; providing means operable to provide grid information to said joining peer system indicating one or more established peer-to-peer relay networks; receiving means operable to receive a grid selection from said joining peer system indicating a selected peer-to-peer relay network, wherein said selected peer-to-peer relay network has one or more member peer systems; providing means operable to provide network addresses of each of said one or more member peer systems to said joining peer system; and receiving means operable to receive a connection update from said joining peer system indicating to which member peer systems said joining peer system is connected; wherein each member peer system is connected to a number of other member peer systems that is less than or equal to a connection limit and each member peer system stores a set of one or more relay rules for relaying data to the other member peer systems connected to that member peer system; and characterized by selecting means operable to select a member peer system as a force connection peer system; sending means operable to send a force connection request to said force connection peer system, wherein said force connection request requests that said force connection peer system close one of the open connections of said force connection peer system; and sending means operable to send a connection request to said force connection peer system to open a connection to the joining peer system.