I have to deliver the news at 60 miles an hour
and if I slow down for even a second
something bad might happen to Keanu Reeves.
Bradley, don't slow down!
He's already sad enough.
Apple is apparently going to launch M4 MacBook Pros this year
which is what I've been learning from Mark Gurman
who lives in a house made from all the paper he's earning.
Thank you, Jake.
You're welcome, world.
But even though Apple hasn't even announced them yet
Russian YouTube channel Wilsacom
claims to have gotten their hands on one.
The channel's video even got a response from Gurman himself
saying it's unconfirmed but looks fairly legitimate
which I think is the nicest thing he's ever said about anyone.
Personally, I'm not sure how much I trust a channel
that may have ripped their World Premiere intro from an Xbox event.
And by may, I mean definitely.
World Premiere.
Whether or not the video is legit
Gurman claims we'll be seeing M4 MacBook Pros launch on November 1st,
alongside new M4 Mac Minis and iMacs.
Gurman also revealed
that Apple Intelligence will finally arrive on October 28th.
Yeah, it's not out yet,
despite weeks of ads featuring actor Bella Ramsey
using the power of AI
to do amazing things like make a photo montage
with sad vibes at a fish funeral.
I've just had to watch
that knowing I can't get that for myself yet.
Oh, there's fine print at the bottom?
I want sad vibes now!
Fortunately, Apple may be trying to prevent weird delays like this
as Gurman claims the company is moving away from its usual annual release cycle.
Instead, they're going to try a revolutionary new strategy
of launching products when they're ready.
Wow.
Genius.
This is why Tim Cook makes the big bucks.
Over a third of the web is caught up in a feud between two companies
that could perhaps be described as some high school show.
Just like teenage grudges
it's also fairly complicated
but we're here to help you get through it.
Matt Mullenweg is the co-founder and owner
of the open-source WordPress.org web publishing project
which powers around 40% of the top 10 million websites.
He's also the CEO of Automattic,
which owns WordPress.com,
a freemium web-building platform based on WordPress.org.
You with us so far?
Last month, Automatic sent
WP Engine, a third-party WordPress hosting service,
a cease-and-desist letter for using the WordPress trademark on their site
which Automatic can technically do
because it holds the license for the trademark's commercial rights
stating WP Engine can't claim they bring WordPress to the masses
when they don't contribute enough to the open-source project.
WP Engine fired back with their own cease and desist
claiming Mullenweg told them
he'd take a scorched earth nuclear approach
if WP Engine didn't pay 8% of its revenue
as a trademark fee to Automatic
or dedicate employee time
of equivalent financial value to WordPress contribution.
In apparent retaliation,
Mullenweg banned WP Engine from using WordPress.org servers
affecting their customers and breaking a lot of websites.
That's what it does.
What do you need this for?
It's all AI now.
Last week, WP Engine also sued Automatic for extortion
and 159 Automatic employees accepted a severance package
offered to workers who disagreed with Mullenweg's direction of the company.
a.k.a. just starting.
I probably would have taken it too
just so I didn't have to keep trying to explain
to my family what's happening at work.
No mom, you don't understand.
wordpress.org is different from wordpress.com, okay?
Microsoft wants you to buy a new computer
just to get access to Windows 11.
In other news...
Water is moist.
In an updated support article spotted by Neowin
the company is now recommending customers buy a new PC running the operating system
rather than install it on their current machines.
Some people are taking this to mean
that Microsoft is recommending you throw out your old PC.
But only because that's a direct consequence of what Microsoft is telling people to do.
The only curse in this story are the Windows 11 system requirements,
which still controversially necessitate a TPM 2.0 security chip.
Though it's kind of ironic that because of that requirement
millions of incompatible PCs will become unsecured.
But hey, it's not all bad news.
Microsoft will let you reprogram the new co-pilot key they started adding to laptops this year.
Thanks to Microsoft for solving the problem they themselves created.
Is there anything they can't do that I like?
Growing up, uh, My mom told me
I'd never get to host Quick Bits if I didn't eat my broccoli.
And look at me now.
Thanks, mom.
Following its most recent microcode update
Intel says that it's finally fixed the root cause of the instability in its Raptor Lake CPUs,
and this time, They mean it.
Intel has confirmed that V-min shift instability
resulting in excessive voltage is at the heart of the problem
something it was previously kind of cagey about.
While Intel says their future chips won't be affected by this issue
there's still no fixing the chips that are already damaged
and no way of telling that a chip is damaged until it starts crashing.
Intel is apparently working on developing such a diagnostic tool for that situation.
But in the meantime
I don't know
enable autosave in your Word doc, you crazy adrenaline junkie.
What are you doing?
Living on the edge, okay.
Japanese peripheral manufacturer, Elecom,
has become the first company to get cable certified for USB 4 2.0.
As fun as it is
that it ended up being named USB 4 20
USB 4 2 is kind of dumb.
Fortunately, the specs are far less stupid than the name.
There are two cables with certifications.
While they both are capable of 80 gigabits per second data transfer speeds
one of them is also capable of 240 watts power delivery.
The other delivers a more modest 60 watt.
The USB-IF, who governs the USB standard
said the cables will launch at the end of this year.
But they also named the new standard USB 4 2.0.
And I don't know if I can trust people like that.
USB 4 2.0.
Blaze it.
Now with blazing fast speeds.
An unusual number of M1 iMac users are reporting
phantom lines appearing on their displays
which is either screen degradation or this summer's hot new thriller.
This has been a known issue since mid-2023
but Apple has yet to acknowledge the problem.
This not-so-fashionable pinstripe pattern typically crops up
after two years of use
meaning that the device is already well out of warranty.
Which is a real bummer in an expensive all-in-one device
where you can't just buy a new monitor.
At least one repair tech blamed the issue
on a flex cable used to power the LCD gradually burning out.
Replacing it typically means replacing the entire screen
which costs about as much as an entire Mac Mini.
And you couldn't even buy one of those instead
because that doesn't have a display either!
Scientists created an artificial plant
that generates oxygen and electricity using photosynthetic bacteria.
Wow.
Mitochondria!
Don't cut that.
Mitochondria!
While the energy output is currently less than one milliwatt
researchers hope to increase it to more than a milliwatt.
And add something like a battery to store the energy for later use.
Right now it's just
they're just pouring it down the drain.
It just escapes in the air.
They're just extra.
According to the paper
the artificial plant was nine times better than natural plants at reducing indoor CO2 level.
Unfortunately for everyone, the plant is really ugly.
Or at least it was before it took off its glasses and let its hair down.
Let's get into some hybridization, baby.
And Jason Allen, a man who won an art competition two years ago
with an image generated using MidJourney, is appealing the U.S.
Copyright Office's denial of copyright for his image.
Why?
Well, Allen thinks the question of AI art copyright needs answering.
And he's kind of right there.
But he's also upset
that the lack of copyright gives his work a perceived lower value.
And it's even been appropriated and sold without his permission.
Kind of like the countless images that were appropriated
and used to train Midjourney and other art generators.
Guys, he's not making enough money from the picture the computer gave him.
What is he supposed to do?
Ask it for another picture?
They all changed the rules already!
My fingers are tired!
Now you make sure you come back here on Wednesday.
That's how long we have to wait
before we can ask the computer for more tech news.
And even then it might just be a lot of stuff about knockoff AirPods, you know.
We just kind of got to see what we get.