Hello how may I help you? Can you help me apply for membership? Sure! Where do you live? Hooterville That's not in the same town as our library. You can still join but membership will be $75 a month. What is the fee if I do live in your town? If you live inside the limits of Titsville library membership is free. That is a big difference. Can I use my Mom's address? She lives in Titsville. No, that would constitute mail fraud. OK, I think I will forget about it then, too much for me. Okay, have a nice day.