Hello how may I help you? I would like to make a return. Do you have an order number? My order number is BIGHELMET56. I'm sorry nothing on that order number is eligible for return Is that right? I want to return this defective bicycle helmet. It's a piece of junk. The company recently changed his policies I'm sorry His? Hm, that sounds weird as a pronoun for a company. Anyway, I want to return this helmet immediately. It was a waste of money. You're not allowed to return it. I apologize What a disappointment. I hope your business turns into a little corner shop near Main Street. Is there anything else I can help you with?