Hello how may I help you? How much is my late fee You owe $800 in late fees. For what ? Overdue books. That's ridiculous I'm going to pay that in loose change I'm sorry, we can only accept credit cards for late fees. Would you like to pay with your card on file? My money says legal tender which means that you are legally obligated to take it Thank you for your generous cash donation. Your overdue fees are now $800.25. Would you like to pay your fees with a credit card? really ? Your fees are now $800.50. Would you like to pay your fees with your card on file? You can sue me for it now 's