Hello how may I help you? I think I was hacked! Help! Oh no I will look into this for you I think someone was messing with my bank account and did something to my finances. Oh wow I do see some strange purchases And what are you seeing?! WHAT THE--?! They are a bit large and I also see some changes to your investments. Did you make those? Let's see... I did go and made a large loan yesterday to invest into my business of selling parrots. All of these parrots are so nice. They like to  when I poke them! Interesting. Do you see anything else that could be suspicious?! yes a huge withdraw