Hello how may I help you? I need help thinking of a gift. Sure, I'd be happy to help you with that! It's for my girlfriend's mom. It's gotta be good cause she hates me Alright, let's get her something good! What types of stuff does she like? She likes ding  and soap operas a lot. and yelling. How about a mouth gag? Then she wouldn't have to worry about ding  or yelling! I gave her one last Christmas. It didn't go over as well as I thought it would Hmm, alright... Have you thought about buying her a graveyard plot? Then you could show her where you hope she ends up soon and also do something nice 1st the same time! At* These are good ideas, but I need something fluffier. Hmm, something fluffier........... How about a big fluffy pillow that you could smother her with?