The Negative Influence of Accommodating Child Anxiety

We may not notice it but most parents can’t help but accommodate child anxiety. More and more people have been raising mental health awareness. This leads most adults to be more mindful of their actions towards people and their kids.

However, parents who constantly accommodate their child’s anxiety can pose risks and negatively influence them.

When Did We Start Accommodating Child Anxiety?

Parents can discover strategies that strengthen their children’s resilience and ability to cope. This especially applies to times of global uncertainty and stress. Fostering resilience and self-regulation in children is better than accommodating your child’s anxiety.

Unfortunately, a vast part of parenting philosophies in the media confuse most parents. It is an exceedingly difficult endeavour for parents to decide which strategies to employ.

In truth, a poor parenting approach poses risks to children. Concerning this, anxiety is one of the two most common mental health disorders among children. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), anxiety affects 1 in 11 children aged 3-17.

Nationwide surveys indicate that the prevalence of anxiety among children significantly increased before the pandemic. Afterwards, anxiety rates in children across the globe doubled. Anxiety in young people can be caused by a variety of factors. Social isolation, a lack of genuine contacts, social media use, and news exposure are all issues at play.

Things You Need to Know About Parental Accommodation

When it comes to child anxiety, we parents can’t help but accommodate our kids. Parental accommodation happens when we change our behaviour to relieve their distress. We start to disregard our emotional needs to alleviate our children’s stress. Unfortunately, this causes our kids to become reliant on us as we suppress our feelings.

We can relate child anxiety with commonly related other mental illnesses such as anxiety disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The majority of parents of youth with these disorders report engaging in accommodating behaviour. Additionally, most of them accommodate their kids at least once a day.

Here are some scenarios in which you might be accommodating your kid’s anxiety:

Always let your kids refuse your encouragement of engaging in sports or activities outside your home.

Constantly speaking in public for your kid.

Allowing your child to stay at home instead of joining extracurricular activities at school.

Getting rid of the things that your kid dislikes.

The acts mentioned above all fall under accommodation. Continuously practising these situations may result in worsening your kid’s anxiety. They may also become spoiled and reliant on you.

As parents, we can’t help but do the mentioned acts because we want to prioritise our kids’ comfort. However, constant child accommodation may result in:

Our kids becoming fearful of meeting new people like visitors at home

Never having confidence in speaking their mind

Inability in completing tasks by themselves

Why Do Parents Accommodate?

Image source: iStock

Parents accommodating their children is understandable. It is typically well-intentioned behaviour that can occur for many reasons.

Protective Parents

Parents, you must be capable of protecting your children from any harm or danger. This kind of protection is a healthy and normal part of parenting, especially when the real threat is present. However, you must also watch yourself from being overprotective.

Accommodating brings relief

Some parents experience stress when observing their children experience negative emotional states. Concerning this, parental accommodation can provide relief not just to the kids but also to their parents.

Parents personal histories

Several parents may also accommodate because of their own personal histories and belief systems. Some parents have experienced harsh discipline as a child. As a result, they were fearful and uncomfortable applying behaviour management strategies themselves. They may falsely equate discipline with abuse.

Personal views

Some parents subscribe to the view that they should always strive to make their kids happy and comfortable. Some parents see their role as one in which they are responsible for extinguishing negative emotions. They tend to hold the belief that anxiety is harmful to their child.

The Risks of Accommodating Child Anxiety

Image source: iStock

With everything we mentioned, you probably realised how you accommodate your child’s anxiety. To avoid the negative influence, we must address the risks involved.

Risks in Children

Children with anxiety can throw meltdowns and tantrums and sometimes display aggressive behaviours. These could be the result when they anticipate and try to escape the fearful situation. Family accommodation feeds the negativity of child anxiety. It is linked to more severe symptoms and a poorer response to treatment.

A study has shown to promote greater reliance on parents and less development of independent coping skills. Parental accommodation may prevent children from gaining insight and healthy perceptions of difficult situations. It could impose on children that situations are hard, too dangerous, or the child is incapable.

Risks in Parents

Parents might experience both guilt and anxiety watching their child cry. It happens specifically when they set a limit or tell their child no. If accommodation has been a fixture in a home for a long time, changes in parenting behaviours affect your child. It can lead to a more intense child response as they adjust to new expectations.
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Parents must keep in mind that getting uncomfortable is just normal. The only way to get past an emotion is to let yourself experience it.

Psychology Today

This article was republished with permission from theAsianparent
Singapore
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

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Effective Ways to Help & Motivate Slow Learners to Excel in Studies Without Shaming Them

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#StayHome And Have Fun With The Friso® Gold x Lazada 11.11 Moo-Possible Campaign

It’s almost the year-end and besides the holiday season coming up, we can also look forward to year-end sales like the famous 11.11 sale.

What started off as a “Singles Day” cyber sale, it has morphed into the biggest online sale of the year for everyone – from singles to parents looking to snag the best deals for the family.

We spend months adding stuff into our carts waiting for all these awesome online sales to finally check them out and the time is here for us to do that again!

Friso® Gold
11.11 Sale*
 Makes It Moo-Possible To #StayHome And Get The Best Deals

Now that we’ve experienced two waves of the COVID-19 pandemic in Malaysia and unfortunately, also two rounds of the movement control order, going out to shop is a luxury many of us can no longer afford – especially with vulnerable kids we wish not to expose to these risks.

Thankfully, for us parents who need to stock up on necessities like milk powder for the kids, we have alternative means of doing so.

Friso® Gold is introducing its Moo-Possible campaign this year-end, encouraging parents to #stayhome and continue to shop online.

This campaign brings us the Friso® Gold ambassadors, Lizzie & friends, which you will find on various channels online, offering superb rewards, great deals, and even the opportunity to get a free BBQ-hotpot set when you purchase from the Friso® Gold Flagship store on Lazada during the 11.11 sale.

What is
Moo-Possible
 all about?

Just like us, due to the current situation out there, 1,111 of Friso® Gold’s cows have also been staying indoors. They eat and sleep well, but similar to how we feel, they can’t help but to feel a little bored at home.

Friso® Gold needs everyone’s help to cheer the cows up. So whenever you spot these Friso® Gold cows on the internet, just click on them to throw these cows a little party!

You will be instantly rewarded with vouchers for your Friso® Gold purchases before and on 11.11.

Here’s
 what you can look forward to
:

Vouchers up to RM100 with no min spend.

A limited time only Crazy Brand Mega Offer with all-day great deals PLUS Exclusive price off Friso® Gold Value Packs (6 x 1.2kg) to be revealed on 11.11

1000 sets of BBQ-hotpot for the first 1000 customers who spend RM800 with Friso® Gold or on Frisomum Gold products.

On 11.11 itself, look out for their crazy brand mega offers  from 12am-2am:

– RM30 off, with min.spend of RM250 on Friso® Gold/Frisomum Gold products

– RM80 off, with min.spend of RM700 on Friso® Gold/Frisomum Gold products

As well as their all-day great deals:

– RM25 off, with min.spend of RM250 on Friso® Gold/Frisomum Gold products

– RM60 off, with min.spend of RM700 on Friso® Gold/Frisomum Gold products

So mark your calendars now and get ready for their amoozing deals on
Lazada
!

*Sale or offers above only applicable for Friso® Gold range of products
.

Friso® Gold is a premium formulated milk powder for children’s brand that’s 100% produced and imported from the Netherlands. With 140 years of Dutch dairy heritage and expertise, Friso® Gold delivers natural milk nutrition preserved by the unique LocNutri™ Mild Heat Treatment Technology in a single manufacturing process. This results in nutritious milk that’s easy to digest, helping kids grow stronger from the inside out—a benefit that’s incredibly important to Malaysian parents.

Last June,
Friso® Gold introduced smart packaging called
TrackEasy
, allowing Malaysian parents access to full transparency over formulated milk powder. Friso® Gold is the only brand in Malaysia that offers this
smart packaging
 innovation.

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Top health and safety rules to remember when flying with a baby

Flying with a baby is tough in many ways. But if your little one is sick before a flight — or worse still, falls ill on a flight — then parents are presented with a whole new set of challenges.  What
should
you do if a baby falls ill while flying? For a mum and dad recently, they could only watch in horror and helplessness as their little one passed away during air travel.

Rules for flying with a baby: Baby tragically passes away in flight to Qatar

On Wednesday, September 26, Qatar Airways announced that an 11-month-old baby had tragically passed away after a flight travelling from Doha to the Hyderabad, an Indian city.

“We are aware of the very sad news that a young child passed away at Hyderabad International Airport this morning.
Our heartfelt sympathy and thoughts are with the affected family,
”  stated the airline.

According to a representative of Qatar Airways, the 11-month-old boy was accompanied by his parents in the plane during the wee hours of Wednesday.

Once the plane arrived in Hyderabad, the parents noticed that their baby had difficulty breathing while they were walking to the immigration area, commented the representative.

The 11-month-old was rushed to Hyderabad’s Apollo hospital.

Sangeetha C R, the spokeswoman for Hyderabad airport, challenged the claim that the 11-month-old passed away in the airport. “We’re waiting for investigations to conclude and for official reports from both Qatar Airways and Apollo hospitals on the baby’s death,” she said.

We’re not sure of what exactly happened as there are no further details available yet. But the tragic incident does remind us to remind
you
of these health and safety rules for flying with a baby.

Are you aware of some key health and safety facts to keep in mind when travelling with a baby?

Top health rules for flying with a baby

1. Sanitise

Wash hands frequently while travelling — on the flight as well as in airports. Bring hand sanitiser or wipes if you have no access to water and soap.

2. Get prior paediatric advise

If your baby has chronic heart or lung issues, or has upper or lower respiratory conditions or illnesses, consult with your paediatrican
before
flying.

3. Watch out for ear infections

Consult your pediatrician if flying within two weeks of an ear infection or ear surgery in your child.

4. Position your baby properly

Continue holding your baby for a few minutes after you’ve fed him while flying, ensuring that he burps. If your baby begins to doze off, position him lying on his back, and not on the stomach or lying sidewards. Sleeping sidewards – on the stomach – produces additional pressure on the heart and lungs. This excess pressure can squeeze the abdomen, pressing it against the lungs, leading to breathing difficulties.

References:
Channel News Asia
,
Economic Times
,
Healthy Children

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What if Your Child is the Bully: A Guide for Parents

What are you going to do when you receive that dreaded phone call from your child’s school,

“Hi is this Mrs T? This is Principal H.”

“I wanted to talk to you about Timothy. We have been receiving complaints from several parents that he has been picking on his classmates.”

Last year, the
bullying of a Primary 5
 student drew widespread attention when her sister took it to social media to talk about it. The community expressed their sympathy for the victim and apologies were issued by the victimisers.

This incident sparked a chain of other questions:

“What leads to these kinds of unfortunate situations?”

“Are their parents checking upon them?”

“How could they let their child behave so badly?”

But the truth is that bullying behaviour may not be immediately noticeable to parents, who may be unaware of what their child is doing outside of the home.

You’re going to experience a range of strong emotions if you discover your child is bullying others. These emotional reactions are normal for parents who want to believe that their children would never intentionally harm others.

To be an effective advocate for your child, you must first acknowledge your emotions and then focus on developing an action plan to assist your child.

What is bullying?

Bullying is not the same as the typical conflicts in schools. It is a deliberate act that injures, harms, or humiliates a student, either physically or emotionally, and can occur at school, in the community, or online. The behaviour is usually repeated, though it can be a one-time occurrence if it is extremely severe or results from a pattern of behaviour.

Bully? Or a child who bullies?

Bullying is a behaviour, not an identity. Labelling a child as a “bully” implies that their behaviour is fixed and unlikely to change. But behaviour can and does change.

Adults attempting to resolve a bullying situation should avoid labelling the child engaging in bullying behaviour as a “bully.” When we label a child as a “bully,” we send the message that they will never be able to change their bullying behaviour. It makes everyone, including the child, believe that they will always be a “bully.”

Bullying is a behavior, not an identity.

Consider using the terms “child who bullies” or “a child exhibiting bullying behaviour,” which both acknowledge that they are, first and foremost, children and that they have demonstrated a negative behaviour.

Children who engage in bullying behaviour must be held accountable for their actions and given appropriate consequences, but it is also important to figure out why they are doing so. Adults have an important role in helping children make long-term, positive changes by addressing the behaviour and its causes.

Why do they bully?

While there aren’t conclusive indicators of why a child bullies, research has shown that they may have one or more of the following traits:

Positive views towards violence

Often aggressive towards parents, teachers and other adults

A need to control and dominate others and situations

Hot-tempered, impulsive and easily frustrated

Often tests limits, boundaries and breaks rules

Good at talking their way of difficult and tense situations

Show little sympathy towards others who are bullied

If you notice these characteristics in your child or hear from others that your child is bullying, it is critical that you investigate the situation.

Bullying is a learned behavior that can be “unlearned” and replaced with more positive ones.

Don’t despair if you discover that your child is bullying others. Because bullying is a learned behaviour that can be “unlearned” and replaced with more positive ones. You can teach your child more appropriate ways of dealing with emotions by talking with him or her and seeking help.

How you can help your child to stop bullying?

1. Meet with their teacher

It’s important to meet with the teacher and to listen to their perspective without being judgemental. This allows you to have a better understanding of what happened.

Cooperation with your child’s school is also important. It is important to communicate with teachers or administrators on a regular basis to learn how your child is progressing in changing his or her behaviour. It helps to share with the teacher if you are having any family problems.

2. Sit down and talk with your child

Set up a safe environment to have the conversation. A good place would be in the child’s room.

Be direct about the issue, but make it clear that you are open to hearing your child’s side of the story. Say something along the lines of: “I got a call from the school today, and the teacher indicated that you were involved in some bullying. I’m really concerned about this, and we need to talk about it. Please tell me what happened.”

Children may not always recognize their own bullying behaviour. They may see it as “just having fun,” not realizing the serious consequences for another child. It is important to help them understand what is bullying and emphasize that negative behaviour will not be tolerated.

3. Find out why they are behaving this way

Through an open, non-judgmental discussion, find out why your child is behaving in such a manner. You could ask your child how they are feeling, if they are being bullied by others, or if they are feeling peer pressure from peers who are also bullying.

Depending on the age of the child, you might need to ask some leading questions to guide them. Some questions that might help:
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“You’ve said that a lot of people laugh at the jokes you’ve made about your classmate. How do you think he feels about these jokes?”

“How would you feel if you were being treated this way?”

“You’ve said it’s funny that J gets upset when he’s teased. Can you tell me more about that?”

4. Be sure that it is a behavioural issue

In some cases, children with disabilities who have specific emotional and behavioural disorders or limited social skills may act in ways that can be misinterpreted as bullying. You could seek professional advice in such cases for help.

5. Execute meaningful consequences

Punishments for bullying behaviour can be effective, but they should be meaningful and limited in scope. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all where you simply use the same punishment for everything.

Say, for example, you find out that your child has been snatching toys from her peers, her actions should be met with immediate confiscation of her toys.

The duration of the punishment can work against you instead. The kid may have the impression that she is never going to get it back and thus give up trying.

You want to make it so that the time within which punishment happens and the amount of time for which it happens are really balanced to have the biggest effect.

6. Make it right

Behavioural changes don’t happen on their own. You cannot expect your child to grow out of it. It is critical to consider the steps that are appropriate for you, your child, and your situation. Consider how things could be different and what needs to change. Then, decide who needs to be involved and what steps need to be taken.

Here’s a
plan
 that you could use.

To sum it up

In some ways, the most important action you can take is to have an open line of communication with your child about his daily life, which will put you in a better position to detect signs of bullying and trouble.

Talk to your kids and be very present in their lives. They need to know that you care about them and that you are aware of what is going on in their lives.

A smart
school management system
 is here to make your life easier by keeping the line of communication open – not just between you and your child, but also with their school.

If you are still looking for a system that will work well for your school’s operations, you can
contact LittleLives
 to see how we can help!

This article has been republished with permission from
LittleLives
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website
.

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Looking For A Convenient Way To Prepare Meals For Your Family? Fill Your Pantry With Campbell’s Soup

Parents these days juggle a lot of things from day to night.

Even if you’re working from home, you’re still pretty much “on the move” all day, from doing the laundry and preparing meals, to catching up on your work emails while monitoring the kids’ school lessons, squeezing in grocery runs and online meetings in between and the list goes on (and on and on).

It can get pretty overwhelming at times, so what do you need to do to keep the balance? Breathe, work smart and choose CONVENIENCE.

Yes, convenience is key when you’re a busy bee! It simplifies everything and in return, you get a much-deserved breather, too.
Most mums would agree that cooking is one of the chores that take up most of their time in a day. It’s even harder when you have picky eaters and run out of meal ideas.

So meal planning is a great way to save time (and the headache of not knowing what to cook!) and energy throughout the week. Find out what the kids love and try to create yummy recipes from there.

We know how tedious it is to prepare 3 meals a day, especially when you’re running on a full to-do list, so we’ve come up with a convenient cooking solution that’s not only perfect for busy mums but just about anyone who prefers the taste of wholesome home-cooked meals.

You Can’t Go Wrong With Everyone’s Favourite Comfort Food – Soup!

Ahhh, that warm bowl of goodness we crave whenever we need a little pick-me-up. Whether we’re feeling blue, coming down with a cold or just a bit too tired to cook up a storm in the kitchen after a long day, a bowl of warm and tasty soup has a way of making our tummy happy and also lifts our mood almost instantaneously.

And who can say no to a bowl of creamy mushroom soup, served with crispy garlic bread? It’s one of the easiest meals to whip up when you’re pressed for time but need something good to fill your tummy with.

Mums would also agree that any kind of soup recipes be it creamy chicken or mushroom soup is always a winner with the little picky eaters.

Getting Hungry? Let’s Get Cookin’!

If we got you thinking of soup recipes already, it’s time to have some fun. Did you know that there are countless possibilities when it comes to creating dishes from a regular can of soup?

Yup, and for this, we trust the taste of the most popular soup brand around the world, Campbell’s!
Campbell’s Condensed Soup
 has a variety of flavours that you can play around with in the kitchen.

Campbell’s Condensed Soup makes meal preparation convenient and fuss-free, which is important for busy mums. It’s tasty to enjoy on its own, and mums around the world love it for the warmth and nourishment it provides in every bowl.

Tip:
 make it extra special by complementing your bowl of Campbell’s soup with a side of buttered toast or crackers. Yum.

And when you have a special family feast coming up, trust Campbell’s Condensed Soup to help you create a variety of nourishing hearty meals that are sure to make everyone go for seconds and thirds!

Yes, you read it right. With the very same can of Campbell’s Condensed Soup, you will discover #countlesspossibilities in your cooking adventure!

Let’s check out some yummy soup recipes created with different Campbell’s Condensed Soup flavours:

1# Campbell’s Baked Chicken Broccoli

Made with
Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Condensed Soup

Get the recipe and watch the cooking video
here
.

2# Campbell’s One Pan Mushroom & Spinach Egg

Made with
Campbell’s Creamy Chicken Mushroom Condensed Soup

Get the recipe and watch the cooking video
here
.

3# Campbell’s Chicken Chop with Mushroom Sauce

Made with
Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Condensed Soup

Get the recipe and watch the cooking video
here
.

4# Campbell’s Grilled Prawn with Tomato Sweet Basil

Made with

Campbell’s Tomato Condensed Soup

Get the recipe and watch the cooking video
here
.

5# Campbell’s Lemon Chicken Rice

Made with

Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Condensed Soup

Get the recipe and watch the cooking video
here
.

Pretty amazing recipe transformations, right? Campbell’s Condensed Soup is so versatile and convenient, it makes cooking hearty meals pretty easy for everyone!

Perfect for busy moms and especially for those who are always on the go. Make it a staple item in your kitchen pantry and you’ll always be ready to turn any regular meal into an enjoyable occasion with your whole family.

Choose convenience and enjoy more quality time with your loved ones. Get your favourite Campbell’s Condensed Soup flavours, heat up your pots and pans and enjoy a delicious gastronomic journey with #CampbellsMY Condensed Soup because #OneCampbellsCountlessPossibilities!

For more soup recipes ideas, exciting contests and product info, follow
Campbell’s Soup Malaysia on Facebook
 now.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website
.

Read more:

How to deal with your child’s slow eating habit

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Baby's fever: Do's and don'ts all parents must know

You know the signs, mums — hot, flushed little bodies, restlessness and over-bright eyes. Your little one’s temperature has risen and now, you are worried about your baby’s fever.

A baby’s fever is a cause for concern for mums around the world. This article provides you with information about this rather common occurrence in your little one, including how you can manage the fever at home without medication and when you should be worried.

What is fever?

A human body’s regular temperature is around 36-37C (98-100F). Normal body temperature
varies
 from person to person. It may also be influenced by activities such as exercise, sleeping, eating and even the time of day. For example, your body temperature generally peaks at around 6pm and is at its lowest around 3am.

According to Dr Ratna Sridjaja
 of SBCC Baby and Child Clinic, Gleneagles Hospital Singapore, “fever occurs when the body’s internal ‘thermostat’ raises the body temperature above its normal level.”

She explains that this thermostat is located in the part of the brain known as the hypothalamus, which is responsible for regulating the body’s temperature and keeping it within the normal range.

When your little one is ill or has an infection, sometimes, the hypothalamus will increase the body’s temperature in response. Dr Sridjaja says that “researchers believe that turning up the heat is the body’s way of fighting the germs that cause infections and making the body less comfortable for them.”

So, when your child’s body temperature rises, it means his immune system is healthy and working hard to fight an infection or illness. And while it your baby’s fever certainly is a worry, do remember that a
mild fever
 (around 37.5-37.7C) in a baby over the age of 6 months is usually no cause for concern and means that his immune system is working just fine.

Remember:
fever itself is
not
an illness; it is a sign of illness/infection.

A digital thermometer is the safest option when taking your baby’s temperature rectally.

How to take your baby’s temperature

The medical experts at
WebMD
 describe a few ways to take a baby’s temperature: rectally (via the rectum); orally (mouth); axillary (armpit); and forehead. You should only use a digital thermometer to take a child’s temperature as mercury thermometers carry the risk of mercury poisoning if they break.

The most accurate temperature reading for babies under the age of one year old can be obtained by using a rectal thermometer.

Here’s how you can take your baby’s rectal temperature using a digital thermometer, according to WebMD:

“First make sure the thermometer is clean. Wash it with soap and water or wipe it off with rubbing alcohol. Lay your baby on the belly or on the back with legs bent toward the chest.

“Apply a little bit of petroleum jelly around the thermometer bulb and gently insert it about 1 inch into the rectal opening. Hold the digital thermometer in place for about two minutes until you hear the ‘beep.’ Then gently remove the thermometer and read the temperature.”

Be sure to clearly label the rectal thermometer so it’s not subsequently used in your baby’s mouth.

For children over the age of one year of age, paediatrician
Dr. Cara Barone
 recommends using either an ear thermometer or an oral digital thermometer.

According to Dr Sridjaja, these are the temperatures that indicate a baby’s fever, depending on the type of thermometer you use:

38 C ( 100.4 F ) measured rectally ( in the bottom )

37.5 C ( 99.5 F ) measured orally ( in the mouth )

37 C ( 99 F ) measured an axillary position ( under the arm )

Common causes of fever

*
The information in this section is adapted from
Seattle Children’s Hospital
.

Almost always, a fever is caused by an infection, with viruses causing 10 times more infections than bacteria.

The following are some of the most common causes of your baby’s fever:

Viral Infections:
Colds, the flu and other common viral infections are the most common causes of fever in babies. In fact, little ones — especially if they are in daycare — may have seven to 11 viral illnesses accompanied with fever per year. Often, fever might be the only symptom you notice in the first 24 hours, followed later by other symptoms such as a runny nose and/or cough.

Bacterial Infections:
These infections are the second most common causes of fever in babies. Look out for bladder infections in girls especially if she has no other symptom other than fever. Unexplained fever is also a symptom of common bacterial infections like strep throat.

Sinus Infection:
A sinus infection is a complication of a cold, with a symptom being the return of fever a few days after your child’s temperature returns to normal (along with sinus pain).

Vaccine Fever:
Many babies develop fever after most vaccines, usually within the first 12 hours. It may last for two to three. This is normal and harmless and means the vaccine is working. However, if your baby’s vaccine-related fever worries you, do see a doctor without delay.

Overheating:
Low grade fever can occur if your child is over-heated. This could be either via overdressing or high environmental temperature. His temperature will return to the normal range once he is moved to a cooler place or the unnecessary layers of clothing are removed. Rest and drinking extra fluids also help in re-establishing a normal temperature.

Even a slight fever in your newborn baby is a cause for worry – do not wait to show him or her to a doctor.

When to be worried about baby’s fever

Newborn fever

If your baby
under the age of three months old
 develops a temperature over 38C (100.4F), you will need to show him to a doctor without delay, says Dr. Barone. It is also a cause for concern if your baby’s temperature drops to less than 35.5C (96F).

Worrying symptoms to look out for

Dr Sridjaja advises that you should see a doctor if
your baby over three months of age has a fever under 39C
,
 but also
:

refuses, or seems too sick to drink enough liquids

has persistent vomiting and/or diarrhea

shows signs of dehydration, such as being less alert/active than usual, crying without tears or urinating less than usual

feels pain when urinating

is suffering from a medical condition such as cancer, kidney or heart disease

has fever for more than 72 hours

also has a rash

Seek
immediate medical attention,
advises Dr Sridjaja, if your baby
 over three months of age has a fever over 39C, along with any of the following symptoms
:

Inconsolable crying and extreme irritability

Lethargy and difficulty walking

Rash or purple spots that look like bruises on the skin ( that were not there before the child got sick)

Stiff neck

Headache

Blue lips, tongue or nails

Seizure

Infant’s soft spot on the head that bulges out or sunken inwards

Difficulty breathing

Learning forward and drooling

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: How to manage your baby’s fever – The Do’s and Don’ts

While fever is a sign of a healthy immune system, it’s still important to know ways of managing your child’s fever, because if it goes too high (over 40-41C) there may be a risk of your little one developing a
febrile fit
.

Here are some do’s and don’ts of managing your baby’s fever:

Do
give paracetamol or ibuprofen based on the package recommendations according to your baby’s weight and age. A syringe is the best way to ensure you are giving your little one the correct dosage. Avoid household teaspoons to measure out the medication, as you run the risk of overdosing or not giving enough of it.

Do NOT
give ibuprofen until you are sure your child’s fever is not caused by the dengue virus.
This is because
 dengue affects the platelets, which are responsible for blood clotting, increasing the likelihood of internal bleeding. Ibuprofen (and aspirin too) has a similar blood-thinning effect, and can aggravate, instead of helping to control the condition.

Do NOT
give aspirin (unless advised by a doctor) due to its association with the potentially fatal
Reye’s Syndrome
.

A syringe is the best way of accurately measuring medication for children.

Do
keep your child well hydrated as fever causes little ones to lose fluids faster. If he is under six months of age, breastfeed him more often. Your breastmilk also contains powerful antibodies that will help him fight the infection more efficiently.

Do NOT
give fever medications (i.e. panadol, ibuprofen) to a baby under two months of age says Dr. Sridjaja, unless advised to do so by a paediatrician.

Do
use a lukewarm compress to help bring your child’s fever down. Apply it under his armpits, on his forehead and on either side of his groin.

Do NOT
immerse your child in cold/icy water. Instead, fill your tub with just a few inches of tepid water and using a washcloth, dribble the water over your little one’s body to help bring his temperature down. Never leave your child unattended in the tub.

Do NOT
use rubbing alcohol as a way of lowering your child’s temperature.

Do NOT
over-medicate on fever medication. Read the label carefully for the recommended interval between dosages and stick to it.

Do NOT
“starve a fever”. Let your child eat what he likes, especially if he is already eating solids. This will give him much-needed energy to help him fight the infection. Don’t worry too much if he refuses solids, as long as he is drinking enough fluids and his urine output is normal.

Do
dress your child in light, cotton clothing and use a light blanket too. Overdressing and using too much bedding can raise his core temperature even more.

Do
encourage your child to rest. Running around can raise his temperature.

Do not
send your child to daycare or school while he has fever. Once your little one has been fever-free for 24 hours, he can go back.

Parents, if you are in doubt about what to do when it comes to your baby’s health — fever or otherwise — please consult your little one’s paediatrician without delay.
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Everything you wanted to know about a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section)

Did you previously have a
C-section
 to deliver your baby, but then this time round you are hoping to deliver your next baby naturally via a VBAC (which stands for Vaginal Birth After C-section)?

Then you will need to know whether your doctor will give you the greenlight after carefully assessing your pregnancy and taking your medical history into consideration.

It is also important that you learn about the risks involved when opting for a VBAC and how you should prepare yourself for one.

Criteria to get a VBAC

Just because you previously had a C-section, this does not mean that you will automatically have to deliver your next baby that way too.

According to the
KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital
 (KKH)in Singapore, pregnant mums who previously have had one uncomplicated lower segment C-section (LSCS) and no other medical issues in the current pregnancy are suitable candidates for VBAC.

Factors that will help you have a successful VBAC include:

No more than two low transverse C-section deliveries

No additional uterine scars, anomalies or previous ruptures

Your doctor should also be prepared to monitor your labour and perform (or refer for) a C-section if needed

If the original reason for your previous C-section delivery is not repeated with this current pregnancy

You have no major medical problems or health issues

Your baby is not larger than average

Your baby is head-down (
or engaged
)

You have had a vaginal birth before

Your labour starts spontaneously

Factors that will affect your chances of having a successful VBAC are:

Being an older mum

You are overweight or obese

Your baby has a a high birth weight (
average birth weight
 for babies in Singapore is 3.2kg)

Your pregnancy has gone beyond 40 weeks of gestation

There is a short time between your pregnancies (18 months or less)

The reason for your previous C-section delivery was due to
Dystocia

Remember to talk with your doctor about your individual chance of success and critically weigh out all the benefits and the risks of a VBAC before moving forward.

VBAC vs repeat C-section

What are the risks?

According to KKH, the chance of a successful VBAC is around 60% to 70%, and is generally higher for women who have had previous successful vaginal deliveries before.

However the chances may be lower if the reason for the previous C-section was due to
Cephalopelvic Disproportion
 (CPD), which is when the baby is too big to pass through the pelvis.

If you are considering getting a VBAC, there are a few potential serious risks involved that you should be aware of such as:

Failed attempt at labour

It is very risky if you have to deliver your baby via an emergency C-section after a failed VBAC — the reasons for this can be due to your labour not progressing, or if there is evidence of foetal distress.

Uterine rupture

Although this is rare, your uterus might tear open along your old scar line from the prior C-section.

If your this happens, an emergency C-section is needed to prevent any life-threatening complications such as heavy bleeding or you getting an infection; and possibly even brain damage for your baby.

In some cases, a
hysterectomy
might have to be performed (to remove your uterus) in order to stop the bleeding — therefore you will not be able to get pregnant again in future.

Foetal distress

Foetal heart rate monitoring will help to to detect any signs of foetal distress and is usually a routine part of the VBAC procedure.

If your baby’s life is at risk from
foetal distress
 or any other complications, you will have to consider getting a C-section delivery instead.

Dystocia

Dystocia is when you have a long and difficult labour due to slow
cervical dilation
, if your baby is too large for the pelvic opening, or if your baby is in an abnormal position.

If such complications are detected early, then you would probably be advised to opt for a C-section instead of a VBAC.

Genital herpes

Mums with a history of herpes will be strongly encouraged to deliver by C-section because of the risk of passing herpes to your baby during delivery.

Tests will be made to examine the cultures during your last weeks of pregnancy and if an active virus is found then that calls for a C-section to be scheduled.

Perineal tears

During a vaginal birth, the pressure from your baby’s head pushing through can cause tears and lacerations in your perineum (that sensitive area between your vagina and your anus) and possibly your cervix too.

All women who are delivering vaginally are at risk of getting a small tear and you should also expect some perineal postpartum pain.

Preparing for your VBAC

If you opt for a VBAC, here are a few steps you can take increase your chances of an overall positive experience:

Learn more about VBAC by taking a childbirth education class specifically on VBAC, read up about it, and discuss it in more detail with your doctor

Make sure your doctor has your complete medical history, including the records of your previous C-section and any other uterine procedures or surgeries

Talk to other mums who have experienced a VBAC before to get their first-hand accounts

Choose a well-equipped hospital to deliver your baby which is equipped to handle an emergency C-section (should you require one)

If possible, allow your labour process to begin naturally, as drugs that are used to induce labour can make contractions stronger and more frequent, which might increase the risk of a
uterine rupture

Be prepared for a C-section in case any complications may arise during your pregnancy or the delivery

Go with the flow

Even if you have your heart set on getting a VBAC, remember that each pregnancy is unique and you should trust your medical team’s decision should any complications arise which will require you to go through another C-section instead.

The most important thing is that your baby is delivered safe and sound and will be in your arms once it’s all over!

Are you considering getting a VBAC? Or have you had one before? Do share your personal stories with us or tips for other mums in the comments section below

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How to Manage Stress During Covid & Beyond

When you look back on your life and your daily dynamic before the pandemic has completely taken over our lives, you can recognize patterns of stress that would naturally infuse your time. Whether we like it or not (and most of us don’t, really), stress is deeply woven into the fabric of the human experience.

It can arise from regular interactions at work, from typical misunderstandings with our spouses, or it can come from a momentary mishap in traffic. It can be chronic or acute, and it can certainly rewire how we perceive the value of our lives and our relationships.

The one relationship you must protect from stress the most is that with yourself. Now that we’re deeply immersed in the pandemic and the turmoil that comes with it, stress is practically our daily reality.

Facing those numbers published online, the earth-shattering realization that someone we know has Covid, or the idea that we are constantly alert not to get sick or get someone else sick – all more than enough to get yourself sweating with stress.

Self-care is more vital than ever to managing stress, so here’s your little guide on improving your daily habits to do just that.

Skincare as your stress relief

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Depending on your skin type and your kitchen supplies, you can work wonders for your pores with very little effort.

Not to mention the benefits for your mind and confidence, because you can spend an hour taking care of your skin, your first line of defense, and thus enjoying the scents and the tactile dimension of your routine.

Consider applying a combination of nourishing, natural ingredients such as honey, avocado, or coconut oil for a moisturizing effect.
Create your own facial mask
 and use it to pamper yourself and to treat your pores with a little extra attention during these stressful times.

Cherish your locks

Photo by Ale Cisnros on Unsplash

Much like natural ingredients in that DIY face mask of yours can be a precious source of moisture for your skin, you can treat your scalp and your hair with the same kindness and attention.

In fact, in doing so, you’ll create another self-care beauty routine perfect for reducing your stress levels. Merely combing your hair carefully with a natural comb will help you unwind.

Make sure you’re using natural items in your hair care such as
organic and natural hair wax
 to style your hairdo, and protect your locks at the same time.

When you take the time to tend to your locks, you’ll enjoy the process as much as the end result, and you’ll have another helpful ritual to banish dan managing stress in a simple, natural way.

Meditation and breathing for your inner Zen

Photo by Ale Romo Photography on Unsplash

If you’ve always been reluctant to try meditating, have you considered less conventional alternative forms that allow you to get active?

In fact,
meditation in motion
 has become even more widespread than you’d assume, since many activities are ideal for putting your mind into a meditative state, such as gardening, jogging, or doing yoga.

Sometimes when you’re feeling particularly anxious and you don’t have a chance to get active immediately, it’s enough to start focusing on your breath.

Aromatherapy as your go-to sensory delight

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

With a nourishing facial mask, you might feel that you’ve run out of soothing options. However, you’d be surprised just
how restorative aromatherapy can be
 for your mind and body. Calming fragrances such as lavender can have a profound impact on your ability to fall asleep or even to keep your mind at ease and managing stress during the day.

You can buy some lavender oil for starters to add a few drops to your pillowcase and see how it affects your sleep. Then again, you can purchase scented candles and place them in your rooms to see if you can balance your mood throughout the day.

Escape with the help of storytelling

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Journaling is a powerful habit for facing your emotions and processing all those chaotic thoughts you have during the day. By writing about your life, you “cleanse” your brain before bed and thus allow yourself a clean mental slate to fall asleep.

Even more so,
reading a good book
 can become your refuge. Great storytellers are able to pull you into the story from the very first sentence and allow you to escape the harsh reality from time to time in a healthy and controlled way.

You’ll stimulate your imagination, build up your vocabulary, and most of all, get rid of pent-up stress and negativity.
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Get your sweat on

Photo by Minh Pham on Unsplash

Sometimes, it will be exercise, at other times, it will be a sauna. It depends on your mood and your energy levels, and of course, the situation with wellness parlors in your vicinity.

When it’s healthy and safe, you can set up regular visits to the sauna to detox your entire body and mind properly.

Alternatively,
a workout routine
 can elevate your fitness levels, enable you to become more resilient both physically and psychologically, and become more impervious to stress. In both scenarios, little time and effort can yield great results for your wellbeing.

It’s vital to accept that stress is inevitable, but managing stress can be done. We can regulate our response to stress triggers and become more resilient in times of turmoil such as the ongoing pandemic.

These simple self-care strategies won’t erase the pandemic, but they’ll let you appreciate yourself and those little moments of pleasure, and help you build a fortress in your own mind to stay serene.

This article has been republished with permission from
PurelyB
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website
.

Read more:

Yoga is safe and beneficial for pregnant women

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My Child Hates Losing!

Before we start pointing fingers at our kids and wonder why they hate to lose, let us look at ourselves. Where did that “kiasu” behaviour come from?

For those of you who are not familiar with the slang, “kiasu” literally means “afraid to lose” and it refers to
people or individuals who feels insecure and need constant reassurance that what they have is the best
.

So if we are to be totally honest, as parents, we love to win and we often foster the love of winning in our children.

A child will pick up on what their parents want and therefore realize that whenever they win or succeed in something, they are rewarded. We are proud of them. We praise them, give them Hi5s, and cheer loudly for their teams to encourage winning.

Of course, many of us say things like “Winning does not matter it’s better to play fair”, “There are winners and losers”, “The important thing is that we play our best” etc. however, our actions tend to speak louder than our words.

 Kids sense that parents are disappointed when they do not win or succeed in something
.

Developmental Stage

After looking at our own behaviour there are also other factors to look at such as the developmental stage that the child is currently in. Some developmental stages are more competitive than others.

For example when your child first learn how to play “chutes and ladders” and he or she is 6 years old, all they can think of is winning the game, they cannot comprehend why they should sit there and play something unless it is to win.

It is to be expected that when your child loses a game for the very first time, he or she will likely be pouting or may even cry and get upset
.

Especially six-year-olds, they really hate to lose. Let’s face it even with us adults we find it hard to be a good sport and smile when we are losing, right? Therefore let us try to be a little more patient with our six-year-old when he or she cries and throws a tantrum whenever they lose a game.

At this age, most kids are very passionate about winning and being number One. This is also a stage where children will learn to cheat so that they can win or even accuse their friends of cheating because they have won.

So is competition good for children?

In a society where our children are always stressed, is competition and putting more stress on them a good thing? There are basically two kinds of stress: –

Distress

This is the bad type of stress when a person has to deal with too many negative things all at once. For example, your child just had an argument with their best friend, and they forgot to complete their assignment that is due today and later on he or she has a karate competition.

Your child tries to focus and concentrate to do well for the competition but he or she is overloaded with stress. They struggle and their energy level and drive drop hence performing badly in the competition.

Eustress

This is a type of good stress that comes from the challenge of taking part in something that you enjoy and work hard for. Eustress pumps your child up and it provides a healthy push and sparks for anything that your child participates in.

Do NOT lecture your child

Now that we know that it is normal for a child to get upset when they lose, how can you help your child?

Be sympathetic when he cries and have a meltdown
. Show him that you understand; ask them if they would like to do something else that might make them feel better.

By showing him that you understand his disappointments, your child will learn that although he cannot count on winning all the time, he can always count on you to be there with love and support.

Finally, you can teach your child self-talk strategies to help him handle things. Perhaps when he tells himself that “This is only a game” or “Even though I lost, I have become a much better player” it will help him keep his perspective.
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.

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.

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Husbands: Stop doing these 5 things and save your marriage

There’s room for growth in every relationship, but sometimes it’s difficult to discern which areas need improvement. Here is a list of five things husbands should stop doing to strengthen their marriage and their family life:

1. Stop pretending like everything’s fine.

When the crap hits the fan and it seems like nothing is going right, it might be easier to run away from the problem or pretend like it’s not there. But guys, this is no good. The longer you put off a problem, the harder it will be to resolve them. Don’t let yourself go to bed angry. Be willing to talk things through and find a solution.

Photo: Pexels

2. Stop putting yourself down.

There is no such thing as a perfect husband or father. Insecurity and low self-esteem will only hurt you and your loved ones. Be confident in your abilities and your family will thank you for it.

Read on for 3 more ways to strengthen your marriage.

3. Stop putting others down.

Words are powerful. Instead of criticizing your wife and your kids, build them up and cultivate a positive home environment. Take our word for it: you’ll notice how it makes a difference soon enough.

Photo: Pexels

4. Stop taking things for granted.

It’s a cliche, but counting your blessings really does improve your outlook. If you think about the many different things you are grateful for instead of dwelling on what you don’t have, you’ll be a happier man for it.

5. Stop dealing with problems alone. Ask for help.

Men often feel the pressure of having to solve problems by themselves, which is unhealthy and even damaging. It’s alright to admit that you need help. It doesn’t make you less of a man.

Be sure to check out
theAsianparent Community
 for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.
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Can you get pregnant after endometriosis treatment?

For many years, I struggled to get pregnant. My husband and I tried everything on the spectrum of
infertility treatment
: from fertility boosting drugs, naturopathy and acupuncture, to IUI and three rounds of (unsuccessful) IVF.

Nothing worked and I was diagnosed with “
unexplained infertility
”.

On the verge of giving up, we had one last visit to our doctor. She suggested that I do a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. During the surgery it was discovered I did indeed have this condition (on my ovaries, therefore affecting my fertility) and the growths were removed. Of course, the question on my mind now was “can I get pregnant after endometriosis surgery?”

The very next month, I saw those two blue lines. Perhaps you too have the same question:
can I get pregnant after endometriosis surgery?
Let’s take an in-depth look at the condition, treatment and what happens after endometriosis treatment.

What is endometriosis?

The lining of your uterus is made up of a tissue called the endometrium. It is this that sheds along with bleeding when you have your period.

When a woman has
endometriosis,
this tissue grows in places where it should not: the ovaries, pelvis or even the intestines.

Medically defined
, endometriosis is “a progressive, chronic condition where cells similar to those that line the uterus (the endometrium) are found in other parts of the body.”

When endometrial tissue grows in places in your body it shouldn’t, it still degenerates and bleeds, just like in your uterus. However, the difference is that when this tissue is
not
in your uterus and breaks down, it doesn’t have a place to go.

What happens then is that this accumulated tissue and blood turns into cysts, adhesions and scars. It can even cause organs to bind together.

In women not trying to get pregnant, one effective way of treatment is to stop ovulation. However, as you can image, for those trying to conceive, endometriosis can affect their fertility, especially if it is present on their ovaries or fallopian tubes.

Common symptoms of endometriosis

The most common symptom is pain (especially around the pelvis) and strong cramping. Another symptom is infertility. To read about less common symptoms,
click here
.

How endometriosis affects fertility

If endometriosis is present on one or both ovaries, the quality of your eggs could get affected, preventing pregnancy. When on the fallopian tube lining, it can stop the egg from making its way to the uterus where it will be fertilised.

Medical experts suggest that endometriosis could also damage a man’s sperm once released in the woman’s body. While the exact reason is not known, the theory is that endometriosis causes inflammation in the body, and this could affect the sperm, and even the eggs.

Endometriosis treatment

Unfortunately, endometriosis cannot be cured. But it can be managed. Usually, doctors will try out non-invasive procedures before they conduct surgery.

Non-invasive treatment for endometriosis

Pain medication:
As mentioned before, one of the most obvious signs of endometriosis is pain before and during your period. Doctors may recommend common over-the-counter pain relief for this, such as paracetamol or ibuprofen.

Hormone therapy:
During your menstrual cycle, you experience a surge and ebb in various hormones. This causes endometrial tissue (outside of your uterus) to thicken, break down and bleed. Hormone medication can help slow down this thickening/ breaking down process, thus reducing pain.
Common hormone treatments
 are: contraceptives; gonadotropin-releasing hormone (Gn-RH) agonists and antagonists; progestin therapy; and aromatase inhibitors.

However, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the treatment option is usually surgery.

A laparoscopy is usually the surgery of choice to treat endometriosis.

Surgery for endometriosis

Endometriosis surgery involves removing the endometrial growths, while protecting your ovaries and uterus. It is commonly done via a laparoscopy, or keyhole surgery.

A laparoscopy involves one to three tiny incisions near and around your navel. Through one of these small cuts, the surgeon inserts a laparoscope, through which she or he can view inside. More instruments will be inserted in the other cuts to scrape out the growths.

“Can I get pregnant after endometriosis surgery?”

There’s no clear-cut answer to this, but usually the answer is “yes”. In my case, I did. This is because the endometrial growths were on my ovaries, affecting the quality of my eggs. The moment the growths were removed, my egg quality improved and I became pregnant the very next month after my laparoscopic surgery.

Studies
 have also shown that following surgery for endometriosis, a woman’s chances of getting pregnant improve. Generally, you can start trying for a baby around two weeks after the surgery (of course, do get your doctor’s clearance on this).

What if the surgery doesn’t work?

If, unfortunately, the answer to the question “can I get pregnant after endometriosis surgery?” is “no”, don’t worry – you still have good options.

Egg freezing:
If surgery is not an option or doesn’t work, then doctors may suggest you freeze your eggs.

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI):
This method can be successful if the endometriosis has not affected your fallopian tubes and your partner has great sperm.

In vitro fertilisation (IVF):
This involves fertilising an egg outside of the body, and then placing it back in the uterus.

Fertility medication:
Drugs such as Clomiphene help a woman produce two to three mature eggs, increasing the chances of conception.

If you’ve had the question “can I get pregnant after endometriosis surgery?” on your mind, we hope you’ve now got your answer. Remember to maintain a positive mindset and a healthy lifestyle, and soon, baby joy should be yours!

References:
Mayo Clinic
,
HealthLine

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4 Types Of Bad Foods For Brain That Can Make Your Child Slow In Learning

What are the bad foods for brain?

You are what you eat– this statement holds true for everyone including your kids. When it comes to choosing the right nutrition for your child we moms make sure that we hand-pick the food items for our kids to ensure they get the best of everything.

Bad Foods For Brain: Harmful Foods For Your Children

However, there are a few foods we often miss as we think that they are perfectly okay for our child, once in a while. Sadly, that’s not true as there are certain foods that are not only harmful for your child’s brain development, but also make them slow learners.

Yes, that’s right! Here are a few foods that experts say are a complete no-no for your child, of course in excess:

1.Packaged Or Processed Foods

Avoid
 packed & processed foods
 such as packed chips, packed salted chips and other munchies, burger & pizza, noodles (Maggi, cup noodles, and instant noodles) with Monosodium glutamate (MSG).

MSG is used as a flavour enhancer that also causes mood and behaviour changes, including headaches and hyperactivity. It also best to avoid fast foods, pre-cooked foods, and ham.

2. Artificial Colouring / Adulterated Foods

Many countries have banned artificial colouring due to the detrimental effects these chemicals have on children. Linked to ADHD, anxiety, hyperactivity, and headaches in children, artificial colouring can also cause significant behavioural changes.

Because artificial colouring is found in many sugary foods, parents often blame behavioural changes on sugar. Artificial colouring is also often hidden in unexpected foods such as bread and yoghurt.

3. Aerated Drinks / Soda / Cold drinks /Caffeinated drinks /Tea/ Coffee

Caffeine is found naturally in chocolate, coffee and iced tea, and many companies add it to soda and cold medications. For example, a typical can of cola may contain between 36 and 46 milligrams of caffeine, according to the article”Nutrition Matters” from Toronto’s Public Health organization.

Kids’ smaller bodies are more sensitive to the effects of caffeine, which can cause jumpiness, nervousness, sleep loss, hyperactivity, headache or stomachache,

4. Foods With High Amounts Of Sugar

Sugar can cause a child to be hyperactive. Which not only impact students’ grades and performance but also influences their behaviour and moods.

It even has a damaging effect on the baby’s brain and it’s is proven by research. Some foods also contain high amounts of glucose and fructose that may affect the secretion of insulin. This will cause the brain to malfunction, work down and negatively affect the mood of the child and his brain.

Republished with permission from:
The Indus Parent

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Are You Raising A Spoiled Child?

I subscribe to the belief that no child is born spoiled. Being a brat is a learned behaviour. Behaviour is often fostered and reinforced by parents whether they realize it or not.

All kids have the potential to behave in a bratty manner. They would seek to push boundaries and that is how they learn. They should not be penalized for demonstrating “initiative”.

However, as parents, it is your job to teach them acceptable and not-acceptable behaviour.

How Do You Tell If You Are Raising A Spoiled Child?

Each time your child wants something they will start to cry and yell.

Your child will slam his or her body on the floor and refuse to get up until they are given what they want.

Prone to throwing tantrums and sulk each time you deny them something, even when it is beyond your control. For example, you promise to take him or her to the playground and it starts raining. They will throw a tantrum regardless of how much you try to explain to them.

He or she hits you, when you are trying to punish them, sometimes even kicking you when you are taking them to sit in the corner, or trying to put them in their room.

When you ask them a question they blatantly ignore you and pretend not to hear.

Their behaviour is always rude even to other adults and their peers. An example, when someone gives them something they do not bother to say “thank you” or when they want something they do not say “please”.

They snatch toys and refuse to share them with other children.

They have a constant need to be “the best” to show off their possessions to others and will often put other kids down by saying things like “My house is bigger than yours, or my party was the best”.

Your child always seem to want what other children have, if they have a Nintendo Wii and they see another child having a Playstation, they would grumble and complain daily for you to get one for them too. But once they have the Playstation they want something else.

They don’t want to help out with the chores at home. Leaves all their toys for you to pick up.

Bedtime is always a struggle and battle. They will use all methods to stay awake and usually you end up giving in to them.

How to Handle Bratty Behavior?

Here are some tips to help you deal with your spoiled child:

Gratitude

Often when a child acts bratty it is because they feel a sense of entitlement. They feel that things should automatically be given to them; they never learned a sense of gratitude, to be appreciative of what they have.

As a parent, it is your job to teach them and help them develop gratitude. It is important to be thankful for the things you have and a child that has been thought gratitude is less likely to throw tantrums and constantly demand material things.

Learn to say “No”

Your child does not always need to have the latest gadgets or toys. As a parent, learn to say “No” when they ask for something and stick to your decision.

If you want you can make them earn it. That way your child will learn that they do not always get everything that they ask for. They will learn to appreciate what they have more.

Teach your child the importance of empathy

Giving to others, helping others. Encourage them to do charity work and volunteer.

Spend time with them

Your time with them is very important so do spend quality time with your child, often a spoiled child acts spoiled because that is the only way he or she can get attention.

No room for disrespectful and rude behaviour

Teach them that rudeness is not tolerated regardless of how young they are. Make sure you set clear rules and guidelines for punishment so your child understands.
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Remember, if your child is bratty and spoiled it often starts with you. Pay attention to your own behaviour, it is important to model the appropriate behaviour as well as teach them.

This article has been republished with permission from
Kiddy123
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website
.

Read more:

Have you heard of the Durian Generation? Here’s how not to raise a brat

Read more:

10 mistakes you make that will turn your kid into a monstrous brat

Read more:

Running Out of Food Recipes? Check out these 12 Easy Ideas on YouTube!

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Guys, You Are Probably Asking, Why Is My Wife So Angry All The Time?

Ah, that wonderful period in a
marriage
 when neither partner can do no wrong. It’s called the “honeymoon period” for a reason, after all. But eventually, reality sets it and that rose-coloured tint wears off. Husbands might find themselves asking this question more often:
“Why is my wife so angry all the time?”

Even the tiniest things tick her off. Kid drops crumbs on the floor – anger mode enabled. You forget to bring milk – death glare on. Helper missed a spot while dusting – fury! You cannot understand why she goes ballistic over such “tiny” issues.

Why Is My Wife So Angry All The Time

Husbands, we understand your confusion and that’s why we’re here to help.
Why is my wife so angry all the time,
 you ask? We explain why, including the differences in how women experience anger, and what you can do about it.

Do you find yourself asking, “why is my wife so angry all the time?”

Understanding Anger In Women

Husbands, before you learn about why your wife seems to be angry all the time, you need to understand some key differences in this strong emotion between males and females.

It’s commonly accepted that men get more angry than women. But this is not true. Research shows that both men and women experience anger at the same frequency. However, it’s
how
they express it that is different.

In a nutshell (and across cultures), generally, men are encouraged to display their anger openly, while women are encouraged to hide their anger.

Psychologist Sandra Thomas explains. Traditionally in men, anger is seen as a “masculine” quality, and so physical fights are seen as “manly” and a sign of virility.

But, “for girls, acting out in that way is not encouraged. Women usually get the message that anger is unpleasant and unfeminine,” she explains. And because of this, a woman’s anger is often directed into other channels, like sulking.

In 1993, Thomas conducted the
Women’s Anger Study
, which involved 535 women between the ages of 25 and 66.

This study revealed three roots to women’s anger:
powerlessness, injustice and the irresponsibility of other people.

Women also experience and show their anger differently than men. Another study found that women:

stay angry longer,

are more resentful, and

are less likely to express their anger

Now that you understand these important facts about the emotion of anger in women, let’s answer the burning question of the day:
Why is my wife so angry all the time?

Why is my wife so angry all the time: Accumulated tiredness leads to stress. This turns to anger.

“Why is my wife so angry all the time?” Three valid reasons

1. She is exhausted from things that might not cross your mind

Not just tired. EXHAUSTED – mentally and physically.

Perhaps she’s been running after the kids all day. Maybe she’s come home from work and has been running after the kids.

Has she been up most of the night with the baby? Or your child is going through a clingy phase and refuses to be put down.

Or, she’s just so tired of dealing with your toddler’s tantrums with patience and calmness (as parents are supposed to)… of keeping her cool.

Your wife could be sick to death of your sassy tween’s even sassier behaviour. Did you irresponsibly forget to pick up the groceries she texted you about (and now she has to dash to the supermarket?). Maybe she’s just over telling the helper for the millionth time to wash her hands before cooking.

Now here’s where the anger comes in. Exhaustion leads to stress, and stress leads to anger. In fact, a
survey
 revealed that stress was seen as a major factor that leads to anger in women.

So it’s no wonder that an exhausted, stressed wife is angry all the time.

What husbands can do:

Offer to help, even in small ways
. If your wife has settled down to breastfeed, bring her a glass of water and a snack.  Watch over the toddler if she’s with the newborn. If the tween (or threenager) is giving out sassy vibes, step in and discipline them.
Don’t
forget the shopping. Even better, look in the fridge or pantry and if you see that you’re out of milk, bread, eggs or anything else, bring it. Remember that historically, women have been “trained” to hide their anger. So prevent that simmering pot of emotion from boiling over by remembering to help.

Find ways to ease her stress.
 This could be as small as a neck and shoulder massage (without her asking for it) to ease some of the tension, or giving her a day off — even better is a week — to do whatever she likes, minus the kids. Be creative — you know your wife the best.

Acknowledge her tiredness.
 Don’t shut your eyes to her exhaustion or just sit there playing games on your phone while she’s almost passed out from exhaustion. Sometimes, just asking, “You must be so tired. Is there anything I can do to help?”, helps bring calmness.

2. The injustice of invisible labour

Office work, the kids’ homework, lunch/snackboxes, groceries, doctors’ appointments, fever readings and medicine dosages, when baby last breastfed, birthdays, birthday parties, vaccination schedules…

Are you tired just reading this list? Well it’s only the tip of the iceberg in many women’s worlds. This is what is called
invisible labour
.

It’s true that the division of labour in the home between genders is gradually equalising. But it’s also true that women (wives, mothers) in general still take on more household and parenting chores.

Invisible labour doesn’t just take a toll on your wife’s body. It bears a cognitive and emotional burden, too. And that can be as devastating as physical exhaustion.
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Along with this unseen work naturally comes a sense of tiredness (accumulated over years, even), resentment, and yes, you guessed it, anger.

What husbands can do:

Appreciate the invisible labour your wife handles.
Make it visible to your eyes and tell your wife how much you appreciate everything she does. Understand
why
she might feel so tired even though she’s just woken up from a nap, instead of wondering how this is even possible.

Take it one step further,
and share that invisible labour. Take some of the load off your wife’s shoulders. Give her confidence that you too can manage the shopping list and the kid’s doctor’s appointments (and more) as efficiently as she does.

Teach your children to help.
Even children as young as toddlers can help around the house.
Here’s a handy guide
. Importantly, assign household chores to your sons
and
daughters, ignoring traditional “guidelines” like, “girls should learn how to cook and boys, to fix a broken tap”. Teach
both
how to do these things.

“Why is my wife so angry all the time?” you ask. It could be that she feels stripped of power.

3. The powerlessness that motherhood sometimes brings

Now, don’t get me wrong. Becoming a mother is an incredibly
powerful experience
.

But motherhood gives power and takes away power at the same time, which is what men don’t always understand. It is empowering physically, mentally, even spiritually, and we talk about this in
other articles
.

However, becoming a mother can also take away a woman’s autonomy to do what she pleases, when and how she wants to. She loses her self in many ways, because her life now revolves around your children.

Your wife loses control over her own body. Her breasts don’t belong to her, her stomach is a stranger’s. She cannot even eat, poop and pee when she wants to. She may feel bitterness, even disgust when she sees herself in the mirror.

Every little decision your wife takes now is determined by the well-being of the kids. If she is heading back to work, then perhaps she loses the power she once had to work late hours, more hours, maybe even accept that promotion. Let’s say she still works long, late hours or accepts the promotion. But there’s the
mum-guilt
 to deal with.

If she decides to stay at home, then she loses the ability to head out when she wants to, eat what she desires on time, even drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot.

Some women take all this in their stride. But others don’t. They might even resent the injustice of it all, and this gives rise to a slow, simmering anger… which is what you, her husband, sees and experiences.

What husbands can do:

We understand, you cannot give birth or breastfeed.
But you can be by your wife’s side as she births your child, you can change diapers, you can bathe your baby, learn how to soothe him, put him to bed, give him a bottle… there’s SO much you CAN do to help. And when you actively play a role in parenting, this empowers both you and your wife.

Support your wife in her decisions.
Please don’t make her feel bad if she decides to go back to work. If childcare is an issue, actively work with her towards a solution: daycare, employ a helper, or perhaps even consider staying at home yourself.

Ask her about her.
We tend to focus on the wellbeing of our children. But what about their mother… your wife? If your child is sick while you are away, of course you would be concerned about him or her. But remember that your wife must be worrying her head off. She must be up every four hours to monitor your child’s temperature. She is definitely tired. So ask about her too.

Women seem like complicated beings, but honestly, we are not. Acknowledge your wife’s visible and invisible labour, appreciate her and support her. Be a team. And eventually, you won’t ever have to ask
Why is my wife so angry all the time
. We promise you.

*
The purpose of this article is in no way to generalise or discount men. There are innumerable husbands and fathers who contribute equally to parenting and managing households. We love, honour and appreciate you and are grateful to have you in our lives.

References:
Women’s Anger, Aggression and Violence
,
American Psychological Association

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Baby dies after fall at babysitter's house

Earlier this month, we were left in shock after the
grim news
 of a five-month-old baby found dead and stuffed into the fridge in his babysitter’s house in Malaysia. Now, sad news of another baby death has emerged, this time after a fall at babysitter’s house, also in Malaysia.

RIP, little one. | Images: Facebook

Fall at Babysitter’s House Fractures Baby’s Skull

On Tuesday 17 July, 10-month-old Naufal Amsyar Bin Nabil Fikri is reported to have suffered a fit and collapsed while under his babysitter’s care.

He was rushed to hospital. There, doctors found injury marks on Naufal’s forehead, a blood clot in his eyes and a crack in his skull.

The baby – the only child of Nabil Fikri Anwar and wife Noraziqah Rahman – was under careful care for four days. However, sadly, the little one passed away on Saturday 21 July.

The baby reportedly died of brain haemorrhage, according to the post-mortem

Quoted by
AsiaOne
, Nabil initially thought their precious son would recover. However, “it was not meant to be,” he said.

The grieving dad also said he and his wife Noraziqah “accepted fate and that Naufal was no longer around.”

They also do not blame the 35-year-old babysitter for their child’s death. “I leave it to the relevant authorities to conduct a thorough investigation to identify the cause of death,” said Nabil.

Previously, Nabil mentioned the babysitter told him that Naufal collapsed after eating porridge prepared by his wife.

“The babysitter told me that my baby’s eyes were wide open and there was no reaction. Initially, she suspected that he had choked while eating. But it was only after he was admitted to the hospital that we were made aware that he sustained injuries after falling from the crib,” he said.

Nabil did not know the babysitter well. His wife reportedly asked on Facebook for recommendations before sending their son to the babysitter.

This is not the first time the baby fell at the babysitter’s house, according to reports. He had fallen twice from his cradle previously, at the same house.

Posted by
Hazwan Aroff Hamidi
 on
Saturday, 21 July 2018

A Mother’s Grief

Noraziqah posted a heartbreaking note about her baby boy’s passing on Facebook.

“I had carried him in my tummy for nine months and only managed to raise him for 10 months and five days. You were born here (in this hospital) and you also left me and your father forever at the same place,” she wrote.

Meanwhile, Nabil (who is an enforcement officer) has asked the public not to speculate until the investigation is over. The nanny reportedly, is assisting with investigations.

Our heartfelt condolences go out to the parents and family of little Naufal. May you rest in peace, and may your parents find peace, too.

Extra Caution Needed When Employing a Babysitter

All child care centres require a license to operate in Malaysia. But there are still those who offer babysitting services quietly on the side.

These places are cheaper because they usually hire workers who have minimal experience in caring for a baby. Their staff have no background or any training in
early childhood education
. In fact, some may not even know
first aid
 at all.

Then you also have those who put the word out about babysitting services offered on social media. Again, their rates would probably be cheaper than registered carers.

But those cheaper rates might appeal to smaller young families who are just starting out.
Finances
 might be tight with rent and other matters.

They might be desperate to find someone to
care for their child
 while they earn a living. This could be the reason why some families end up choosing an unregistered and unregulated child care centre or babysitter.

Laws might be there, but if there are no regular checks and no proper enforcement, situations like this can happen again.

In Singapore, the government regulates all child care centres through the Child Care Centres Act (Cap. 37A) and Child Care Centres Regulations (Cap. 37A, Section 19).

All child care centres MUST be licensed and they must comply with standards set out in the Regulations made under the Act, or any other requirements that may be specified by the Director of Social Welfare.

But remember parents, despite laws being there to protect you, you still need to do
your research
 and choose wisely. Also, if your child suffers from any medical condition at all, you must inform the babysitter or carer of this, and what to do in case of an emergency.

Source:
AsiaOne

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Budget 2021 | How Does It Impact Parents and Families?

The government recently tabled the 2021 Budget in Parliament. They’ve proposed an expenditure of RM322.5 billion, which makes it the largest budget in Malaysian history.

Formulated based on three integral goals: 1) people’s welfare, 2) business continuity, and 3) economic resilience, the budget outlines fund allocations to help the rakyat through the Covid-19 pandemic, with RM17 billion going into the Covid-19 fund.

The question is—how could all this affect you as a

parent?

A Compilation of Highlights From Budget 2021 That Might Interest You

Credit: snappygoat.com

Health

RM90 million for pneumococcal immunisation programme for children

Tax exemption for vaccination pneumococcal, influenzas and Covid-19 up to RM1,000 for self, spouse and children

Tax relief for treatment of serious diseases increased from RM6,000 to RM8,000 for self, spouse and children

Tax relief for health screenings increased from RM500 to RM1,000 for self, spouse and children

Tax relief for parents/special needs child medical expenses and care increased from RM5,000 to RM8,000 for self, spouse and children

Aid for bedridden OKU carers, senior citizens and chronically ill patients increased from RM350 to RM500 monthly

mySalam protection program extended (includes heart stents and prosthetics)

Read more
:
 Teaching Your Kids About Money

Bantuan Prihatin Rakyat

Credit: bernama.com

Households earning less than RM2,500 will receive RM1,200 to RM1,800, depending on the number of children they have

Households earning between RM2,501 to RM4,000 will receive between RM800 to RM1,200, depending on the number of children they have

Households earning between RM4,001 to RM5,000 will receive between RM500 to RM750, depending on the number of children they have

Tax Relief and Community-Based Initiatives

Tax exemption for disabled spouse increased from RM3,500 to RM5,000

RM20 million to establish B40 community centres for children to attend after school

RM170 million for early childhood education under KEMAS

RM30 million to establish childcare centres in government buildings (especially hospitals)

Education

Credit: thestar.com.my

RM420 million for the Supplementary Food Programme for students (milk to be provided every school day)

RM45 million for special needs education

Transport

Introduction of unlimited monthly travel passes at RM5 for school kids and the disabled (includes train services in the Klang Valley and several other areas)

During these uncertain times, it might be a good idea to discuss financial literacy with your child. Click
here
 to learn more.

This article has been republished with permission from
Kiddy123

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40 year old man takes 12 year old pregnant wife for checkup

What if while waiting in the doctor’s office for your monthly pregnancy checkup, you come across a man with who you think is his teenage daughter. Unwittingly, you overhear part of their conversation and you’re shocked to hear that the little girl is not in fact his daughter, but the mother of his baby. What would you do?

“Stop asking so many questions”

A man was arrested by authorities after he brought his pregnant ‘wife’ for a routine checkup in Xuzhou City Central Hospital, in East China’s Jiangsu Province. The catch? The man was 40-years-old, and his ‘wife’, 12. They were accompanied by another woman who claimed that she was the child’s mother-in-law.

Doctors were immediately suspicious since it was very obvious that the pregnant ‘wife’ was just a child. They tried asking the girl some questions, but they weren’t unable to get any answers since she doesn’t speak any mandarin. One hospital staff shared, “It’s obvious she is just a child, and certainly not anywhere near 20 years old.”

Apparently, they also angered the husband when they became suspicious of the child’s real age. He was quoted as saying “I took her here to be examined – just do your job. Stop asking so many questions.”

She might have been abducted at 12 years old

When the police officers arrived, they found that the girl didn’t have any Chinese ID or any other form of identification for that matter. Authorities think that she is a foreign national from Southeast Asia, but they haven’t concluded anything yet.

Investigators are also looking into the angle that she might have been abducted or bought by the man claiming to be her husband. This is due to the fact that the Chinese have had a history of purchasing Vietnamese ‘brides’ from across the border.

An investigation is currently ongoing regarding the matter.

The high price of human trafficking

Human trafficking is not an isolated problem. All countries suffer from different forms of this modern-day slavery.  In most cases, women, both young and old, are sold into sexual slavery or sold as child brides. Traffickers usually trick them into thinking that they will be working regular jobs, but then they get stuck in a vicious cycle of psychological and physical abuse.

Protecting your family

The scary thing about human trafficking is that they also abduct children from the streets. That is why it it’s important to make sure that you and your family know how to keep themselves safe. Here are some tips that you should always keep in mind:
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Teach your kids to know the important phone numbers in case of an emergency

Teach them not to let any strangers inside the home, especially if there are no adults at home

Teach them not to trust any strangers, even if they say that you know them

Make sure to establish trust as well as open communication between you and your kids

Know where your children are at all times. It pays to nag your children for the sake of their safety

Make sure to know the people around your children, especially if you think they might have a hidden motive

Sources:
Metro
,
innocentsatrisk.org

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