Get Ready For Some Fun Under The Desaru Sun This School Holiday

School’s out and children all across the country are rejoicing! After a long year grinding away at their textbooks, parents and kids are looking forward to a much-deserved break – and an adventure-filled getaway by the beach might be just the thing!

If you’re looking for a unique holiday experience that will be both refreshing and indulgent while still giving you ample opportunity to connect with family, why not escape to Malaysia’s very own Desaru Coast, an all inclusive destination resort filled with experiences for the entire family ensuring that there is something for everyone to enjoy.

Nestled against a pristine backdrop of white sandy beaches, Desaru Coast is a sprawling coastal destination with four globally renowned five-star resorts, luxurious spas, educational eco-tours, an adventure waterpark, and two award winning golf courses amongst other stellar facilities.

With so much to do, we’ve pulled together some ideas to help plan your great escape!

A Splashing Great Time

The Adventure Waterpark Desaru Coast is home to the first-ever water coaster in the region and one of the biggest wave pools in the world! The waterpark features more than 20 wet and dry rides, slides and attractions, and its very own beach and surf simulator.

Open to families with kids of all ages, you don’t have to worry about food or a place for the little ones to rest as you can rent a Beachside Cabana for RM 400 for the entire family that comes with snacks, merchandise, and a safety deposit box so that you can enjoy a stress free day in the sun. Prices for the Waterpark start from RM75 for MY Kad holders and RM110 for non-Malaysians.

Additionally, each individual hotel at Desaru Coast offers plenty of water sport opportunities  such as jet skiing, paddle boarding, wakeboarding, banana boat rides and more.

Young Explorers Unite

Parents, if you’ve been looking for a way to keep your kids occupied – teach them about the beauty and wonder of nature. Desaru Coast, through its eco-tourism partner, Junglewalla, has a special Young Explorers Club for children from 8 – 12 years of age that allows them to discover the wonders of science through hands-on exploration and experience.

From RM 150 for each package, children will be able to bring out their inner explorer as they learn more about Earth’s history, marvel at the intricacies of the forest ecosystem, discover the world of insects, build their own terrarium and so much more! It’s an experience they’ll never forget!

There are also activities by Junglewalla for the whole family such as Bird Watching and the Sungai Lebam River Cruise for families to enjoy together. Prices start from RM 120 for adults and RM 60 for children

That’s not all! A short 40-minute drive away from the coast, families can visit the Kota Tinggi Firefly Park by Junglewalla for a mesmerising sunset evening with nature’s little lamps.

Enjoy The Buzz Of The City

If you’re making the trip down to Desaru Coast, you’ve got to take a day trip into Johor Bahru City Centre to fully immerse in everything that Johor has to offer. If both you and your kids are lego fans, then bring that love of lego to life by visiting the LEGOLAND Malaysia Resort.

For a tea time snack, stop by Hiap Joo bakery, a 100 year old bakery known for their soft and fluffy bamboo baked banana cake and introduce your children to a bit of your childhood with the range of nostalgic childhood biscuits available there.

With Ramadan and Raya coming up really soon, you might also want to make a stop at Johor Premium Outlets and get some matching outfits for the whole family.

Take Time To Unwind

While it’s important to spend time together and bond as a family, it’s equally important for you to take some time to yourself. Each hotel at Desaru Coast has their very own Kids Club where you can drop your child off, knowing that they will be well taken care of while you head off for a quick spa or golf date with your partner.

For sportier couples, we recommend you bring your bicycles along  to experience the sights and sounds of the beautiful coast.

These are just a few of the things families can do at Desaru Coast! Head over to
https://desarucoast.com
 to book your next dream vacation.

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What’s Next? Educational Trends After COVID-19

COVID-19 has forced students to learn from home for the first time ever in their lives, while teachers had to re-evaluate their teaching methods as they conduct lessons from home. Only time can really tell what it will look like post-pandemic, but some of the changes in education that were caused by the coronavirus might be here to stay.

Here’s a look at the likely future of education:

1.
Growth in blended learning

We could see more courses being delivered in a blended format that uses online materials to supplement classroom learning. Students will work on more
online exercises and watch instructional videos
 during their own time; classroom time will be spent on discussion, problem-solving and other practical exercises. A growing number of online learning tools will be integrated into the learning management system to make learning more accessible and flexible.

This will require a re-thinking of pedagogical approaches, course design and
classroom layouts
 in order for successful blended teaching and learning to be carried out.

2.
Focus on skills-based learning

More emphasis will be given to soft skills such as critical thinking, problem-solving, adaptability and resilience starting from the preschool years. Exposing students to learning experiences that can help strengthen their capabilities to adjust during critical times of crisis will be deemed more important than academic learning.

3.
Increased use of open educational resources

Both educators and students will be able to access an even wider variety of digital content, free of charge, from multiple online sources.

Open educational resources in the form of textbooks, lesson plans, assignments, videos, training materials and many other formats will save educators a lot of time and effort when it comes to resource development. Many such resources come with accompanying interactive activities that can advance students’ learning inside and outside the classroom.

4.
New forms of assessment

Educators will need to modify traditional assessment methods and embrace new digital tools to gauge students’ understanding in hybrid learning environments. When in virtual classrooms, quick checks like thumbs up/thumbs down and hand signals can help educators make sure students are grasping key concepts.

Other digital assessment tools like collecting students’ responses to quizzes created on Google Forms, coordinating graphs of their answers with Plickers cards or visualising responses submitted by the class on Poll Everywhere are great for educators to know more about students’ strengths and weaknesses. Many of these tools are designed to share the results on a big screen, which can then spark an open class discussion and provide instant feedback on the assessment.

5.
Commitment to end the digital divide

The shift to online learning highlighted the fact that many children do not have stable internet access at home and most cannot afford
reliable digital devices (tablets and laptops)
 needed to continue learning when schools are closed. They have to rely on computers in community centres and local libraries to attend lessons, or just miss out and be left behind.

If we were to leapfrog to a truly digital economy, schools will have to readjust strategies and work with the community to address this digital divide.

This article has been republished with permission from
Kiddy123
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

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Boy goes loses an eye after being shot at with a Nerf gun

Nerf guns are a common staple of kids toys that can be found in many homes. It can be a pretty dangerous toy and you would often hear parents banning the toy in their household. With good reason! Recently, a nine-year-old boy in South Wales needed to have his eye removed as a result of a Nerf gun eye injury.

Nerf gun eye injury causes
boy
 to lose his eye

Image source: Flickr

Taylor-Jay Ravicini was playing at home with a friend under his mother’s supervision. Things seem to be going well until he was shot in his right eye.

Taylor had already lost all sight in his right eye when he was shot by a toy arrow when he was three-years-old. Stacey, Taylor’s mother, said the accident “happened in a flash”.

“I was downstairs, and I heard a devastating scream and my heart sunk, I couldn’t even go to see him, I sent my partner as I knew something had happened.”

Upon inspecting Taylor’s eye, it was clear to see that it had gotten worse after being shot at by the Nerf gun.

“Taylor’s eye was full of blood and it was causing a build-up of pressure. Doctors told us that he risked losing sight in both eyes if we didn’t remove the damaged one,” Stacey shared.

After an emergency operation and infections in the eye, Taylor was hospitalised for six weeks after the unfortunate accident.

Stacey is trying to fundraise for a better quality prosthetic eye to avoid drawing more attention to Taylor’s deficiency.

Image source: WTHR

She revealed that some children at school have even resorted to bullying him by giving him the nickname “Popeye”.

“Wherever we go people are staring at him and whispering about his eye. In school he is constantly bullied, and people call him, ‘Popeye’, that really hurts, why should he be treated different?”

“I hope people understand how much he needs this prosthetic eye.”

“I really don’t want people thinking I am a bad mother,” she lamented.

This story is a grim reminder to all parents that Nerf guns are not always the best toys to have lying around the house. Children can get hurt even with the supervision of adults.

8 toys that are potentially harmful to children

Image source: PXhere

So was Taylor just unlucky? Or should he not have been allowed to play with toy guns in the first place?

There are studies that indicate
playing with toy guns
 is actually beneficial for your child’s development. But are they really safe enough to risk the level of exposure that might end up in physical injury? The Nerf gun eye injury says otherwise!

Playtime should definitely be fun, but also risk-free as much as possible. Consider avoiding these toys

Toys with ribbons and strings (choking hazard)

Toys with sharp points and edges (sharp edges)

Toys with small parts (choking hazard)

Toys that make loud noises (hearing loss)

Toys that children ride on or jump on (falls and bumps)

Toys with projectiles (facial and eye injuries)

Toys with magnets (choking hazard)

Toys with small batteries (choking hazard)

Sources:
Yahoo News

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Parenting styles: What can Malaysian parents learn from the Japanese?

Parenting styles are personal and often depend on our own unique situation, but there is much we can learn from how others do it. Lately, Japanese parenting culture has been in the spotlight because it is unlike any other in the world. Parents do not mollycoddle (read:
spoil
) their children. Instead, they encourage them to be independent from quite early on. And through their practices, we learn that the effects of parenting styles on child development can be significant – and surprising.

Japanese parents also emphasise maintaining high moral standards. So virtues like honesty, humility, honour and trustworthiness become the bedrock of their parenting culture.

It is especially interesting with
permissive parenting
 being so popular these days.

 And writer Maryanne Murray Buechner thought so too. When she spent almost six years in Tokyo,  she uncovered some fascinating truths behind Japanese parenting culture.

Buechner shared some interesting parenting tips, which she picked up while she was in the land of the rising sun.

Parenting Styles: 8 Things We Can Learn from Japanese Parenting Culture

In her article for
TIME
, Buechner wrote that she lived in Tokyo, Japan from 2007 to 2012. During these six years, she discovered some insights into authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. And of course, in the process, she learnt many parenting lessons, which she believes all parents should consider emulating.

Here’s what she found.

1. Every Child Is Independent

The writer says that one of the first few things she understood was that children were encouraged to be
independent
. Kids would go to school unaccompanied, even if they used public transport.

“The country’s extremely low crime rate means it’s safe, and the general feeling among parents is that the community can be trusted to help look out for its own,” she writes.

2. Parents Don’t Talk About Their Kids

While most parents often share their parenting trials and tribulations with each other, Japanese parents are different. Buechner found that they only share their problems with their most trusted confidants.

Also, they consider talking about their kid’s activities as bad form. “And simply mentioning that your child plays for this soccer team or attends that academy can come off as boastful; it’s enough that he is seen in public wearing the uniform.”

However, Japanese parenting culture is competitive. “Parenting in Japan is hyper-competitive, and there’s a lot of pressure to make sure your kids get into the right schools. The prep for entrance exams is intense,” she writes.

3. Parents Practice Extreme Attachment

Buechner found that while Japanese parents loved attachment parenting, they did not publicly display affection.

“Moms typically take their babies everywhere, by sling or Baby Bjorn-like carrier, wearing them around the house, out to the shops, even cycling across town. (In a Nagano resort town, I saw a dad on skis with a baby in a pink snowsuit strapped to his back.) This physical closeness is in many ways how affection is expressed; there is no kissing or hugging,” she writes.

She adds that most parents preferred to sleep together with the mother on one side, father on the other and the kids in the middle. And that this tradition continues well past their preschool phase.

“And you’ll see lots of moms take their small children with them for a soak in the public baths. The Japanese call it ‘skinship’— everyone’s naked in the
onsen
(hot springs),” she observes.

4. Parents Encourage Kids to Practice Restraint

In her six years in Tokyo, Buechner also observed that a crucial element of the Japanese parenting culture was restraint.

From quite early on, parents encourage their kids to maintain peace and harmony in the family and around them — even if it means not expressing their angst or anger. It is a perfect example of how authoritative parenting can be more effective than authoritarian parenting.

“Wherever we were — in a restaurant or museum or food shopping hall, jam-packed pedestrian lane or popular hiking trail — I’d see Japanese kids all calm and contained while my boys jostled each other or rushed past little old ladies with canes, noisy with talk,” Buechner writes.

Japanese mums set high standards for their kids’ bento box meals, rising early to prepare an elaborate selection of healthy items that look pretty too. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

5. Meal Preparation Is Crucial for Japanese Mums

While most urban mums succumb to their busy lifestyle and pack easy-to-make meals for their kids, Japanese mums believe in meticulous meal planning. especially when it comes to their kid’s lunch boxes.

Buechner writes that even if this means getting up earlier than everybody else in the family, Japanese mums make the effort to prepare elaborate multi-item meals. They also make sure that they are colourful enough to entice kids so they eat every healthy item on the plate.

“Japanese moms set high standards for their kids’ bento box meals, rising early to prepare an elaborate selection of healthy items that look pretty too — fish, vegetables, tofu, seaweed, rice balls shaped like animals or plants,” she writes.

She also noted that this was a culture most schools wanted their kids to adopt. “Fall short and the teacher might say something,” she adds.

6. No Such Thing as ‘Appropriate for Kids’

While most countries have an “adults only” certification or disclaimers to movies, sexual imagery or violence is not considered unwatchable by Japanese parents.

“Nobody at the Tokyo cinema seemed fazed when a trailer for a film like
Resident Evil
 played right before a showing of
Toy Story 3
. Realistic-looking play guns are still sold in toy stores. There’s sexual imagery in manga comics,” she writes.

The reason is simple.

“The cute and cuddly stuff — the cartoony culture of
kawaii
 that is everywhere — helps balance things out,” Buechner explains.

7. Parents Take Nature Seriously

Because Japanese parenting culture is as much about discipline as it is about attachment, they practice the same values when it comes to nature. And that means a picnic under a cherry blossom tree is an event, but running and playing around them is strictly controlled.

Yes, you read that right!

Buechner writes, “Baby’s first
hanami
 (cherry blossom viewing) is a photo op. Parks and gardens are exquisitely designed and painstakingly curated. And where and when children can run and play is strictly controlled.”

8. Fairy Tales Are No Joke

During her many years in the land of the rising sun, Buechner also learnt that the Japanese like to share their legends and myths through interesting and colourful tales.

“It’s common in Japan to share stories and characters from Japanese legend and to mark their festival days. There are many throughout the year, like the Tengu Matsuri honouring a long-nosed goblin, and Setsubun, a day to cast out Oni the ogre by throwing fistfuls of dried soybeans,” she writes.

It is also common to project the protectors as the ugliest, a form of tough love, the writer observes.

Although Buechner is back to her hometown, she sure has taken many learnings from the Japanese parenting culture. As have we. And we hope you have too! There are many lessons we can pick up from different parenting styles to help our children grow up strong and independent.

To learn more about how to raise resilient children, visit
www.aptagro.com.my
.

Source:

TIME,
amp.timeinc.net/time/3959168/how-to-parent-like-the-japanese-do?__twitter_impression=true

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5 Ways You Damage Your Relationship with Your Child Without Even Knowing It

No parent is perfect. We’re all bound to make mistakes when interacting with our children, but most of us do try to make our bond with our children as strong as possible. However, some things we do that may seem harmless or normal can actually be hurting our relationship with our kids. Here are some ways you damage your relationship with your child, as compiled from
FamilyShare
 and
Quora
.

1. Constant criticism

We all want our children to become better, but constantly pointing out what they’re doing wrong can lead your child to believe that you’re disappointed in them. And not only that, criticism can also hurt their self-esteem.

Though it’s important to correct your child’s behavior, you should focus on teaching, not criticism. Teach your child what to do instead and focus on what they’re doing right. Try your best to maintain a 4:1 positive-negative feedback.

2. Overprotectiveness

It’s a dangerous world out there, and parents do need to take the necessary precautions. However, plenty of well-meaning parents end up going overboard. Their kids end up living in a bubble, totally sheltered from the real world. Thus, they don’t learn to stand up on their own two feet, nor do they learn self-confidence.

3. Always prioritizing other things

There will always be something else that needs to be done—housework, your job, errands… the list goes on and on. If you don’t make time for your child and always put other things first, that can hurt your relationship.

Put your phone down, turn off the television, and spend quality time with your child regularly—one-on-one, if possible.

Photo: Dreamstime

4. Not listening when your child is talking

Let’s face it, not everything your child has to say would be especially interesting to you, but that doesn’t mean that you should only pretend to be listening. Kids can pick up on a lot more than you think.

If you really have your hands full, ask your child if he can wait until later, when you can give him your full attention. Discussing different topics that your child is interested in is a great way to strengthen your relationship and make them feel comfortable communicating with you in the future.

5. Lashing out at your child

It’s normal to get angry from time to time, but taking it out on your kids is an extremely unhealthy way to deal with your feelings. Raising your voice, name-calling, and so forth gives your child a bad example on dealing with anger, and also fosters fear, instead of love.

If you ever lose control and act out in anger, apologise to your child right away and tell them what you should have done instead.

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10 Sure-Fire Ways to Handle Sibling Rivalry

All kids fight. Fighting and sibling rivalry are the ways a child handles conflicts, and the way we guide them or react to them during these moments is as important as any of the parenting roles we do.

Below are the ultimate 10 ways of keeping sibling rivalry at bay.

These are proactive parenting tips that would not only help kids learn social skills and train them how to manage themselves when faced with a conflict — these could also save you from those endless pain-in-the-neck fights and bickering among siblings.

10 Ways to Handle Sibling Rivalry Without Losing Your Mind

1. “No fighting” rule

One of the best, if not the best, parenting tool there is would be having entrenched a fixed set of universally consistent set of GROUND RULES. You know … rules like “Do not do unto others….” You can devise your own that could resemble the one below:

a. Love one another at all times

b. Keep your room neat and tidy

c. Clean up and return things to where they’re kept after using

d. NO FIGHTING, no biting, no spitting, no cursing

e. Respect the property of others, etc.

You can formulate these rules
with
 your children. Have them chip in, let them own these rules. When they feel empowered, when they feel they own the rules, it would be easier for them to stick to these.

You can discuss and explain these with them, have them printed and posted on the fridge where everyone can see them. It doesn’t matter if some kids can’t read yet — they would pretend they can because they must already know these by heart.

2. Be consistent

Don’t let your mood decide the observance of these rules. No matter how tired or preoccupied you are, if one of these rules is broken, you must always take a moment to deal with the kids involved.

Your being inconsistent about the imposition of these rules during a sibling rivalry will give the kids the signal that rules can be broken-sometimes.

3. Give them attention (not while they’re fighting)

The best way to illustrate this is by citing the “Are we there yet?” syndrome. When the entire family is in the car during long-distance travel, the kids would start pestering the parents with this question. They would start to grumble, bicker and fight. This does not happen if you engage them in a conversation or a game.

Kids who feel loved, given ample attention, and taken cared of are less likely to fight. Whether at home or in the car, always engage them. For all you know, they are fighting so they can get your attention (which you may not be giving them otherwise).

If you have more than one kid, be a part of their “gang” and share your time with them as a friend, not as an adult authority.

It would also pay if you give each child lots of individual attention. Always tell them you love them. Hug them any slightest chance you get.

4. Teach them how to communicate properly

Remember that most conflicts arise from poor communication, or the lack of it. Being able to communicate properly is a trait of a good leader – even among kids.

He expresses himself, he can convince, and he can influence his way out of a conflict. Not being able to express himself leads to frustration and a fight.
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5. Teach them to empathise

This is all about teaching your child the notion of “feelings.” When your child say, “I HATE Angel!”, you explain to her that hate is different from “being mad at.” You can say, “You don’t hate Angel, you LOVE her. You are just angry with her for grabbing your toy.”

You empathise with her feelings. She appreciates that you understand how she feels, which then becomes the foundation of her developing empathy becomes for others.

You can explain to her how the other child is feeling, “Oh how bad she must feel! She’s crying. It would be nice if someone could make her feel better.” If your child could empathise, she would think twice before hurting someone else.

6. Teach them the concept of “win/win”

While it can be very difficult to make kids understand that the world does not revolve around them, it would pay to teach them how to negotiate and compromise.

One of the basic lessons in life that you can teach them: You can’t get what you want all the time. Sometimes you have to work hard for it or give something to get it.

If kids are fighting for the spot in the front seat of the family car, you can teach them to take turns or have someone offer something for the spot.

7. Teach them the value of patience and tolerance

If all else fails, they can always use some small amount of patience and tolerance. If you have included “Love one another at all times” in your GROUND RULES, patience and tolerance usually comes along naturally.

You can teach them to divide (share a piece of cake) or to give in. Also in the art of negotiating, a lesson in tolerance and patience could also go a long way.

8. Don’t get involved

As much as possible, never step into a sibling rivalry to stop it – let them settle their fight themselves. If you always intervene, they can always fight because you are always there to put out the fire. They will not learn how to work out their problems on their own.

This may sound difficult but as long as they are not in any danger of physical injuries, let them learn that if they get into trouble, they would have to learn to get out of it by themselves.

You can simply remind them of the ground rule against fighting and tell them to fix their differences themselves. You can decide later to impose the “penalty” for breaking the GROUND RULES, but not before they settle the fight themselves.

The usual knee-jerk reaction of a parent would be to step in and ask who started it – don’t. It doesn’t matter who started it. Each took part in the fight so each child is responsible. A bigger child bullying a baby is an entirely different matter, though. It is bullying, not fighting.

9. Be the example

“No fighting” rule but the kids always see you fight with your spouse? C’mon, guys….. You are also breaking a lot of other GROUND RULES!

10. Have lots of fun and happy moments as a family

Everything else will follow. No fights, more love.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

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This Is How I Healed My Eczema The Natural Way

I battled eczema until recently when I started to make some changes to my lifestyle. This has been quite a learning process for me—and everybody is different; what is best for my skin and health, might not be what’s best for you. But here’s what worked for me.*

*Always talk to your healthcare provider before trying new self-care routines.

4 Ways I Healed My Eczema

1 – I cleaned up my diet

The first thing I concluded: my diet was awful. The journey of starting PurelyB helped me to really dive into my healing. My diet changed in gradual stages and I learned more and more about my body with each passing month.

For my diet, I tried eliminating things, supplementing things. And for me, I found the culprit when I did an elimination diet—it was meat (I don’t consume beef/lamb in general).

So, when I started cutting down meat, my body healed tremendously. And eventually, I learned enough about my body to know what I needed to avoid and what my body needed to thrive.

Having said that, what I learned from this journey is that many eczema flareups are not caused by foods, so it can be difficult to determine the specific foods you’re sensitive to. But if you suspect food is the instigator, an elimination diet is one of the best ways to discover specific foods that trigger eczema. I strongly suggest anyone with eczema go for this test. Additionally, it’s generally best to stay away from inflammatory food like sugar and sweets, wheat and dairy to avoid flareups as well.

2 – I drank a ton of water

In order to get the full benefits of a healthy diet—and to have hydrated skin—it’s important to stay hydrated with lots of water. If your urine is any shade of yellow you need to drink more water. I like to start my day with
Pegaga by PurelyB
 and apple cider vinegar. When I started taking Pegaga by PurelyB, I also realised I was less prone to eczema when I ate meat. Which means I can occasionally enjoy my favourite chicken dishes.

3 – I went natural with my cleaning products

Detergents and other soaping agents can dry out the skin. I recommend looking for gentler, fragrance- or colour-free laundry detergent to help improve eczema symptoms.

As for beauty products, I pay a lot of attention to the ingredients of each of these products to understand what’s in there. Try using a gentle, no-lather, fragrance-free cleanser. Avoid products with rough particles for scrubbing or exfoliating, as these can further irritate the skin.

4 – I upgraded my mindset

I do admit, there are days when my eczema flares up even when I’m very diligent and careful with my food because eczema does constantly change day-to-day and week-to-week. It can be difficult to pin down precisely what causes triggers, but I do believe holistic methods, like a healthy mindset, can be highly effective at offering relief and managing eczema, sending it into remission for the long term.

This article has been republished with permission from
PurelyB

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Baby Ambrosia - Homecooked Baby Food In KL

Full-time working mothers, we don’t know about you, but after a long work day, you come home and you still have a mountain of chores to do. The last thing on your mind is figuring out how to cook healthy meals for you little one.

The buying of fresh ingredients. The washing. The chopping. The pureeing. And not to mention the washing.

Do we really need to add on all of those tasks on top of what we already have to do?

This is exactly how I felt with my bub turned 6 months old and it was time to start him on solids.

I looked at friends’ Instagram stories and wondered how they had the energy to cook meals for their kids after a long day at work. I really didn’t have it in me. So, I turned to packet foods that I bought from overseas (after shipping, each packet would cost me almost RM15 each).

Since it said it was organic on the packet, it gave me some reassurance that I could give it to my son without worrying.

While this worked out well for a while, I also realised that he didn’t have much variation with textures. The packet foods were pureed to a watery form and he didn’t learn the “chewing” technique.

(Baby-led weaning was also out of the question for me as I had little time to clean up afterwards.)

Looking for homecooked food for babies in KL

Thankfully, it was around my baby’s 8 month milestone that I discovered
Baby Ambrosia
. Better late than never, right?

They sent over some meals for Jedi to try and the first couple of tries were pretty challenging. He was not used to the textured food and had to take some time to get used to it.

But after his third meal, he was hooked!

From their vegetable medley to their quinoa, pear and blueberry meals, he was excited for every mealtime.

Baby Ambrosia – Fresh food for little angels

The brand has been around for over a decade now, providing babies and toddlers with food that is 100% natural and nutritious. All their food does not contain added sugar or salt.

Since it is made right here in Kuala Lumpur, the food is super fresh too!

I’ve personally tried all of Jedi’s food – packet ones and these ones from Baby Ambrosia. The freshness in these little meals are guaranteed and the flavours are very natural.

Baby Ambrosia addresses your babies needs from their first foods (single ingredient puree), to mixed flavour purees, to lumpier textures and even chunky meals for toddlers.

Easy preparation for busy mummies

Baby Ambrosia is designed for the busy mum and also the fussiest of babies. Busy mums, like myself, have little time to take 10 different steps to prepare their child’s meal multiple times a day (and mummies, there’s no need to feel guilty about this). You can still offer your child the best with meals from Baby Ambrosia.

It’s as simple as heating up the meal (instructions are on each of the pots) and the meals can be kept in your freezer for up to 2 months.

Though the preparation is not like those supermarket packet foods where you just twist open the cap and squeeze out the meal, it shouldn’t take you more than 2-3 minutes to get the food heated up and into your child’s bowl.

I like to use a small pan to heat up the food, which only takes me about 3 minutes at the most to get the food to a nice warm temperature for my baby.

If you have to use a microwave (which we don’t really recommend), a minute would suffice.

It’s a lifesaver for busy mums and it is also easy to prepare if your child is with a caregiver. There are many options for flavours and we find the balance in nutrition to be great for your child as they progress through the ages.

Show some support to these local homecooked baby food vendors by visiting their store at The Curve or find out more about their locations
here
.

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Maid boils baby to death highlights importance of not ignoring red flags

This article is from our archives. It reminds us all to be very aware of helper red flags that could indicate trouble is brewing. At the same time, let us be responsible employers, giving our domestic helpers enough time to rest, paying them on time etc. That said,
nothing
 warrants this despicable act of a maid who boils baby to death.

They say money is the root of all evil. In this
particularly shocking case
, money matters appear to have caused a maid in South Africa to boil her employer’s three-month-old baby to death.

Maid boils baby to death: Why she did it

The maid, Nokuthula Nyathi, from Zimbabwe, reportedly carried out the cruel act of boiling the baby to death when she failed to get her salary on time.

Nokuthula confronted her employer about her salary two days after the day she was supposed to receive her pay. Her employer, Karen Dube, had promised to pay her by the end of the same week but did not hold up her end of the bargain.

Was it really because of money?

So, in a despicable act of revenge, Nokithula did the unthinkable: she placed her employer’s innocent three-month-old baby in a pot of water, and boiled the baby for an hour.

Some neighbours suggested that the main cause of the tragic incident was the turbulent relationship between the maid and the employer, and not the fact that the latter was unable to pay her helper.

According to reports, Nokithula was allegedly caught stealing on several occasions and her employer tried to terminate her employment before but had been unsuccessful because Nokithula simply refused to resign.

Mum’s reaction after maid boils baby to death

After murdering the baby, Nokithula packed up her belongings and left. When Karen Dube returned home, she collapsed in shock and grief upon discovering her baby in the container. Karen Dube was unconscious and found lying on the floor by her neighbour.

The maid was arrested the next day and was charged with murder and then held in custody.

Learning points from the maid boils baby case

Although this maid boils baby incident happened overseas, there is a very real possibility of similar situations happening in Singapore.
 Horror stories about maids abusing children are nothing new in Singapore
.

Here are some tips to help lessen the likelihood of a similar situation striking in your household:

1. Build a good relationship with your maid

Your maid is less likely to abuse your child if they enjoy a good relationship with your family.

2. Trust your instincts

If your maid gives you the creeps, be cautious of her. If you are really worried, bring the issue up to the maid agency and see if you can replace your current helper.

Make sure to choose your maid wisely.

3. Choose wisely

Always hire a maid from a reputable agency. It will be advisable to get references from the maid agency about a potential maid. If you employ a transfer maid, always ask her previous employer about her, including the reason why she left.

4. Listen

If someone reports to any disturbing behaviour related to your maid, do not dismiss them. Try to investigate and verify the credibility of the claims.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask

If it is possible, ask your friends for recommendations of good maid agencies.

Remember, it’s always a two-way relationship between any employer and employee.

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Feel Yourself Up — Your Step-by-Step Guide To Breast Self-Examination!

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), breast cancer is the most common cancer globally, and ‘early detection to improve survival remains the cornerstone of breast cancer control’. That is why it’s important to learn about breast self-examination steps by steps.

In light of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and with this statement in mind, make sure you carry out regular self-examinations and annual mammograms.

Breast cancer occurs when there is
abnormality present in breast cells
 and they divide without control or order, unlike normal cells which divide and produce in a systematic manner.

When this unorderly division occurs, extra tissue is produced, which creates a mass called a tumor. Such tumors can be cancerous or benign and the majority of breast cancers start in the milk ducts.

While going for regular mammograms is one-way women can detect breast cancer in its early stages, there is another, more simple method you can use to check for lumps in the privacy of your own home: breast self-examination.

Breast Self Examination Steps By Steps

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Photo credit:
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5 simple, healthy and delicious recipes toddlers will love!

Mums and dads, medical research has shown that what you feed your little ones in their early years is crucial for brain and motor skills development.

However,
toddlers
 can be notoriously picky eaters. So how can parents make sure that their tots eat the nutritious food that is given to them? The trick is to make it yummy and appealing, too!

Here are five recipes for healthy and tasty, toddler-friendly meals that are packed with the right type of nutrients to boost your little one’s overall development.

1. Sweet and Sticky Plums Recipe for Babies:

Plums are nutritious, tasty and a great first food for baby. Not only are they sweet and juicy, they are also high in fibre and vitamins C and A, making them a great immune-booster and bowel regulator. The high fibre content in plums makes them one of nature’s best remedies for constipation in babies, toddlers and adults. This recipe is suitable for babies from six months onwards.

Ingredients (For 2portions):

3 plums

1 stick of clove

1 cinnamon stick

2-3 whole black peppers

1 star anise

1/2 cup water

Cooking instructions:

Put 3 halves of de-stoned plums in a small pan, then add one clove stick, one cinnamon stick, 2-3 whole black peppers and one star anise.

Pour in half a cup of water and let simmer over medium heat for 12 minutes.

Once it is thick and sticky in consistency, remove pan from the stove. Once cooled, remove the whole spices and plum skin.

The plums should be very mushy in consistency. If you wish, you can feed them to your baby without blending. If you want to create a puree, just add two teaspoons of water before blending. Serve the puree as it is, or add it to cereal or rice.

2. Semolina with Mashed Strawberries:

This is a delicious homemade breakfast dish for babies!

Semolina is finely ground wheat, and becomes beautifully soft when boiled. It contains fibre and is a great first food for babies.

Semolina contains protein and starch, as well as vitamins E, B1, B2, B9 and PP, and minerals such as potassium, calcium and magnesium needed for your child’s healthy growth. However, do note that it also contains gluten.

Adding delicious strawberries to semolina makes it even more delectable to your little one. Also, berries, including strawberries, are a great source of vitamins and minerals.

Ingredients (For 1 portion, from six months):

3 tablespoons of semolina

1 cinnamon stick

2 strawberries mashed with a fork

1 clove stick

1 star anise

1/2 cup of milk

Cooking instructions:

Pour half a cup of milk into a pan. When it starts to bubble on the sides, add cinnamon, clove and star anise.

Pour in the semolina and continue to stir till porridge-like in consistency.

Top with mashed strawberries and serve.

3. Spinach Tart (6 servings):

This is a healthy dish, which is not only delicious but easy to make, too!

Spinach is a good food for your baby because it’s packed with nutrients vital to healthy growth and development. It’s a good source of vitamins A, K and C, and provides folate, iron, calcium, zinc, fiber and magnesium. Iron and zinc, in particular, are important nutrients for a baby.

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon butter or olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

1/3 cup cheddar cheese, grated

700 g baby spinach

500 g pastry dough

Cooking instructions:

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

Heat oil/butter in a pan and sauté chopped onions.

Add spinach, cooking gently until wilted but still bright green.

Set the spinach mix aside to cool.

Roll out pastry dough and lay it on a greased tart dish. Prick the bottom with a fork.

Add spinach mix and top it with the grated cheese. Bake until the pastry is golden brown.

Your delicious spinach tart is ready for your toddler to eat once cool!

4. Easy Apple Pie
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Kids love apple pie! It always makes for a popular dessert.

Apples are truly a wonder fruit, and they may be one on your baby’s first foods. Some of the most important nutritional components of apples are fibre and flavonoids. Apples help boost your baby’s immune system and are good for the digestive system.

Ingredients

2 refrigerated pie crusts

1 egg white

8 large Golden Delicious apples (peeled, cored and thinly-sliced)

1/3 cup granulated sugar

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Cooking instructions:

Preheat oven to 204 degrees Celcius.

Place one of the pie crusts into a 9-inch pie plate. Brush with egg white (this prevents the crust from getting soggy). Let the egg white dry while you prepare the filling.

Toss apples together with sugar and flour. Place the apples inside prepared crust.

Place the second prepared pie crust over the apples, tucking the excess under the bottom crust. Now crimp the edges with your fingers.

Cut 3-4 slits in the top crust to allow steam to escape. Brush the top of the crust with any remaining egg whites (optional).

Cover the pie loosely with a sheet of aluminum foil. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove the foil, lower the temperature to 375 degrees Fahrenheit, and bake another 30-40 minutes.

Once finished baking, set pie aside to cool.

Once cool, slice pie and serve with a glass of milk (or better yet, a scoop of vanilla ice cream!)

5. Carrot Soup

Carrots are rich in beta-carotene, the plant form of vitamin A, and make an excellent weaning food, as babies like their naturally sweet taste. Darker, older carrots contain more beta-carotene than baby carrots.

Your baby will love this delicious carrot soup!

1 large carrot, cubed
 (We recommend
Pasar Organic Baby carrots
)

2 tbsp onion, finely chopped

1 small piece ginger, finely chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

Pinch of salt
 (can be omitted)

Pinch of pepper powder

1 tsp butter

¼ tsp
cumin seeds

1 ½ cups
water

Cooking instructions:

Heat 1 tsp butter in a pressure cooker, then add cumin seeds.

Add finely chopped onions, ginger and minced garlic. Stir for 2 minutes. Add diced carrot and seasoning.

Pour in measured water and bring to a boil. Pressure cook mixture over medium heat for 3 whistles.

Transfer the cooked ingredients to a blender and blitz with some of the cooking water until smooth and shiny.

Serve!

The carrot soup is ready for your baby!

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What Motherhood Taught Me About Investing

Before even deciding to have kids, most people would already know just how expensive the cost of raising a child is in Malaysia.

Even during pregnancy, the costs can be pretty steep if you go down the private route. My first visit to a private hospital for my pregnancy, I had to stay overnight and my bill was a whopping RM3,500!

At 27 years old and only 6 months into my marriage, we were financially unprepared for something like that.

After that, for the rest of my pregnancy, I decided to try out the government option. My entire bill for the 9 month pregnancy, plus a hospital stay of 6 days in my second trimester, and the final cost of my c-section delivery, was sub RM2,000.

Talk about a world of difference.

Even before the baby was born, I knew I would have to start investing in his future if I wanted to stay ahead of the huge, looming financial costs I was about to face for the next 25 years of my life (most of us Asian kids stay with our parents till then, some even longer!).

Cost of raising a child: investing for your kids

So here’s what I considered as a young mother planning for her son’s future:

1. Insurance is the first step

I once heard a story about a woman who took her baby for a short holiday and while overseas, the baby passed away due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and she had no insurance to pay for her child’s remains to be repatriated. She ended up in a mountain of debt. This story stuck with me throughout my pregnancy and as soon as I could, I requested for insurance.

In Malaysia, you can buy insurance for your unborn child as early as in the second trimester. But if you are diagnosed with gestational diabetes, you might be rejected by the underwriters. If not, your loading premium might be higher.

If you successfully obtain insurance while pregnant, the plan will then be converted to your child’s insurance upon the child turning 2 weeks old.

I didn’t manage to get pregnancy insurance, so as soon as my son turned 2 weeks old, we were sure to sign the insurance papers for medical and hospitalisation.

Life insurance at this age is not completely necessary just yet as many view life insurance to be a financial cushion to leave to the next of kin.

2. Education is going to be even more expensive in the future

Considering the rate of inflation and the rising costs of education, many parents will want to ensure their child’s college fees are covered. Starting an education fund is one of the best ways to do so.

For those who have the option to invest in Amanah Saham Bumiputera under Amanah Saham Nasional Berhad, this is one of the safest and best bets. On average, the returns for the account one hovers around 8% annually, while account two is 6% on a decent year.

Each account can hold up to RM200,000. So if you’re able to dump in a lump sum from your child’s birth, you can be looking at a very healthy fund for your child’s future by the end of 18 years. Even if you’re not able to, every bit counts.

For those who don’t have this option, many insurance providers now offer investment plans that are tied to insurance that can also meet this need.

Compounding interest is one of the most powerful tools in financial planning, so make good use of that.

3. Investing in the present is just as important

One thing new parents will learn quickly is that having a child is unpredictable. This means the child is not going to wait until your rainy day savings are full before an unexpected trip to the paediatrician.

By the way, on average, a trip to the paediatrician will set you back RM200 at least.

Having an immediate emergency fund to access for moments like these will prove to be very useful so you don’t have to dip into savings or charge it to your credit card.

Besides setting aside their college fund and insurance premiums, parents should have a separate account to keep this emergency money in.

4. Buying in bulk… isn’t always cheaper with a baby

One thing you will see a lot of are baby fairs or expos. You will be tempted to go and check out the awesome deals that brands are offering during that period. This, in my opinion, is not necessary for two reasons.

One, babies grow quickly and you won’t know that what works for them now will work for them in a month’s time.
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Two, with the bursting popularity of e-commerce sites and an unhealthy obsession with monthly sales (1.1, 2.2, 3.3, 4.4, so on), you can easily catch these deals all year round.

I had once spent RM400 buying diapers for my son at a baby expo thinking it would be a great deal of savings… only to have to donate the whole lot to an orphanage two months later when I found out he was allergic to that particular brand of diapers!

I had also used the opportunity of baby fairs to purchase many milk bottles on sale to find that my son only wanted to use another brand of milk bottles.

So when it comes to babies, buy as you go.

A little goes a long way

Ultimately, what motherhood really taught me about money and investing is this — we will always want to give the best to our children, even though the cost of raising a child might equal a bit of financial sacrifices.

Sometimes, the best can be as simple as making sure you have enough to get them by every month with food and clothes. And when you have a little bit of spare cash, you tuck it away into a savings account for them.

No matter what the circumstances are, mums and dads, we know you’re trying your best for your little ones.

Read more:

The most terrifying part of motherhood no one ever warns you about

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3 Steps That’ll Make Women Entrepreneurs Become Instantly Healthier

The rapid rise of women entrepreneurship is a global phenomenon and at the same time, the competition amongst businesses in various industries are at a new time high.

New startups are popping up everyday, existing companies are growing and scaling at a speed like never before through rounds after rounds of fundraising and better yet, consumers are becoming more and more demanding. So what could this all mean to the well being of  women entrepreneurs? What can be done to ensure peak state of mind and energy day in day out? Is it even possible to become healthier when time seems to be the most scarce resource in the life of an entrepreneur?

This article is dedicated to the amazing women entrepreneurs out there who are going and giving their 110% everyday. These individuals are, ready to defy the norm of the unhealthy lifestyles many entrepreneurs subject themselves to because you believe that the ultimate goal of entrepreneurship should actually be about living the life of vitality, joy and fulfilment through the existence of your business. Here, we share with you three vital steps to make this possible for you.

1. High intention low attachment

We all treat our business like a baby. Yes, we get it and no one can takes care of it as well as you do. From inception to where it is right now giving you the kind of pay off  keeps you going everyday while so much is at stake; it’s natural to keep everything under a close watch all the time. As a result, many entrepreneurs neglect the importance of leading a healthy and active lifestyle because it just seems impossible to make time to workout and stick to healthy habits amidst chaos. The illusion of “one day I will” might seem real at times, but more often than not, it’s the mind playing tricks. The truth is, it’s not so much about having more time, rather, it all starts from the mindset of an entrepreneur. Start empowering others and allow them the space to make mistakes, start leveraging time of others and give yourself the gift of time to do what you need to do and what others can’t do for you, which is to keep your body and mind in tip top condition in order to lead the pack. Remember the livelihood of others strongly depends on your business, which is under the massive influence of your health and well being as a leader.

2. Less coffee, more sleep

With constant deadlines chasing, endless meetings and discussions while keeping tabs on the sales and performance of the team, many entrepreneurs will choose getting things done over getting sleep in. Many entrepreneurs turn to coffee, coffee and more coffee as a way to power through the day. It could be an effective way to get you charged up temporarily, but as we know, a quick fix is never sustainable. Even worse, excessive amounts of caffeine from beverages like tea, coffee or energy drinks can inhibit absorption of vitamins and minerals and increase their excretion from the body. Just imagine iron and calcium (which are important for women) is lost day in day out as you chug more coffees down, what will it do to your health and vitality in the long run? Treat yourself to the sleep you deserve because entrepreneurship is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Better sleep means you are able to keep your metabolism on point, keep your stress level down and hence, allowing you to make more intellectual decisions which could be pivotal in your business.

3. Trigger your endorphins!

Yes! And on purpose too! Endorphins, known as the body’s natural “feel good” chemicals, gets released when we are exercising, eating certain foods and drinks, having sex, getting a good massage or having a laugh. As an entrepreneur, you will need a lot more of these to ward off stress, frustrations and perhaps anger due to things not turning out the way it should (which happens a lot). Primarily, we are going to deploy the most impactful one, which is to perform some form of exercises (moderate intensity) at least 4x per week and a minimum of 30 minutes each time with a warm up and a cool down. Exercising will no longer just be something to get you lean and toned. It should be about using exercise as a tool to prime your body and mind to achieve exceptional feats in your work and that’s what makes an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur. An average (or less than) health will inevitably produce average work, an average work ongoingly will then reflect onto the business. So now, we know the power is within YOU, start linking the well being of you and your business together as a direct correlation, will you need anymore reasons to get your endorphins going via the means of exercise?

Building a thriving business is not all about having the right knowledge, tools and resources. In fact, I believe it has a lot to do with the health and well being of the entrepreneur / business owner. By implementing the above three steps on a regular basis, you will be able to truly live the life you deserve as a result of taking charge of your body and mind which your business and the people you work with can all benefit from. Finding it hard to get started? Sometimes, all you need to do is gather like-minded entrepreneurs to get you going because the environment is stronger than willpower.

This article has been republished with permission from
PurelyB

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What Triggers Eczema? Here Are Some Common Causes & What Parents Can Do to Help Your Child

If you suffer from dry, flaky, inflamed patches on your skin that are uncontrollably itchy, you are not alone.
You are most likely with a chronic skin disorder known as eczema.

Many people who live with eczema would describe the incredible itchiness as one of the worst symptoms of this increasingly common skin disorder.
Now imagine that unbearable itchiness in your child, especially one that is too young to help soothe itself.

But parents, do not fret. Thankfully, there are some tips and tricks from doctors that can help relieve the itchiness and dryness that eczema can cause.

Understanding eczema and the trigger factors

Credit: Shutterstock

Although the cause of eczema is not fully understood, doctors believe that both genetics and environmental factors play a role in causing the emergence of eczema. People living with eczema tend to be oversensitive towards topical irritants or allergens that can cause the inflammation.

Understanding the trigger factors

Eczema affects everyone differently. One person’s triggers may not be the same as another’s, so it is important to be aware of the common triggers so you can change your habits and routine.

Common trigger factors include:

Dry skin:
 When your skin gets too dry, it becomes brittle, scaly and tight, which may lead to an eczema flare up.

Irritants:
Coming in contact with irritants such as everyday household products, cosmetics or even natural substances can cause your skin to itch and burn. Common irritants include, sweat, saliva, fragrances, shampoo, body wash, laundry detergent, hand and dish soap. Some natural liquids and food, such as lemon juice, vinegar or fermented foods, can also irritate the skin when you come in contact with them.

Environmental allergens:
Things in your surroundings might also be a reason for a flare up, this can include cigarette smoke, dust mites, pet dander, pollen, insect bites, and bee stings.

Materials:
Materials such as latex, coarse wool or lace can irritate the skin and trigger an outbreak.

Stress:
Stress, anxiety or depression can be a cause for eczema flare ups due to the increased cortisol levels, which leads to inflammation, causing eczema symptoms.

Climate:
 Yes, even the weather can aggravate your eczema, be it cold and dry or hot and sweaty.

Eczema remedies

There are plenty of clinically proven treatments containing natural active ingredients that are gentle on the skin of babies and children that can help soothe the dry and itchy skin caused by eczema.

Ezerra is a brand recommended by paediatric dermatologists and paediatricians to help relieve eczema symptoms.

The
Ezerra Cream
 is a specially formulated cream that relieves itchiness and inflammation, while intensively moisturising the skin.

It contains Stimutex-AS ® (itch and inflammation relieving agent) derived from natural ingredients: shea butter, argan oil and spent grain wax. It also contains Saccharide Isomerate (natural intensive moisturising agent) which is extracted from wheat.

Another product that will help with itchy skin is the
Ezerra Extra Gentle Cleanser
 which is a specially formulated cleanser for dry and irritated skin. The Ezerra Extra Gentle Cleanser is SLS/SLES-free and is 3-Times-Gentler
than normal
 cleansers in the market.

Formulated for daily-use using non-irritating, natural active ingredients, Ezerra Extra Gentle Cleanser contains a natural cleansing agent extracted from coconut, which has been clinically proven to retain skin moisture even after your shower. It also contains natural sensitive skin relieving agents to soothe inflammation and redness.

Best of all, these Ezerra products are non-steroidal and suitable for extended use on babies as young as 2 weeks old to moisturise, relieve and speed up skin restoration for your little one. Ezerra helps to restore the smiles on the faces of you and your children by relieving dry or eczema prone skin and restoring skin to a healthy condition.

Ready to try a natural treatment to soothe your little one’s itching? Parents can purchase Ezerra products online or at pharmacies and baby shops nationwide, find out where at
www.ezerramalaysia.com/where-to-buy

Are you feeling lucky? Take part in Ezerra’s Mother’s Day Campaign by simply sharing their Mother’s Day video on
Facebook
 or
Instagram
,
 and comment on what made you decide to use Ezerra to be in the running to win RM600 cash.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

Read more:
 List of Child Specialist Clinics (Paediatrician) in KL and Selangor

Read more:
Easy to Follow Tips to Get Your Baby to Sleep Well Tonight

Read more:
 Hugging and kissing your baby can make him smarter: Study

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This family has 6 very unique birthdays, unbelievable!

Birthdays in any family are extra-special. They are made even more special if family members have a unique birthday — perhaps they share the same birthday with a sibling or parent, or their birth date consists of the same numbers. But what are the chances for a whole family to have similarly unique birth dates? One Singaporean family of six with perhaps some of the least common birthdays we’ve ever heard of, share their story.

Least common birthdays: Singaporean family of six has unique birth dates

The Loke family’s birthdays are certainly unique: everyone in their family of six have birthdays with the same day and month!

To put things in perspective:

40-year-old Mr Shamen Loke’s birthday is on January 1 (01/01);

his wife, 39-year-old Madam Yau Mei Siong’s birthday is on September 9 (09/09);

seven-year-old Lucius’s birthday is on June 6 (06/06);

four-year-old Andrius celebrates his birthday on January 1 (01/01);

two-year-old Justinius, was born on the 4th of April (04/04), and

One-month-old Kaius, the family’s newest member, has his birthday on October 10 (10/10).

All Mr and Mrs Loke’s children were born naturally, meaning those birth dates weren’t pre-planned to fall on those dates, say Mr and Mrs Loke.

“It is truly a blessing. Each one of them is a godsend,” says Mr Loke, who named all his boys.

Least common birthdays: the Loke family, with birth dates made from repeating numbers. From left to right: Lucius Loke, Andrius Loke, Kaius Loke, Madam Yau Mei Siong, Mr Shamen Loke and Justinius Loke.

“Fingers crossed for October 10”

Mr Loke says that his sons – Lucius, Andrius, Justinius and Kaius – were named after the Latin words
for light, courage, justice and joy, respectively.

But the couple, who are both civil servants, very nearly miss
ed the perfect record.

Apparently, baby Kaius’s due date was predicted to be October 13, says Mr Loke. Furthermore, he admits that they “not planned for a fourth child” and once they were aware about Kaius’s arrival, the couple ” didn’t expect the date to be Oct 10″.

However, the couple did feel t
hat “it would be a bonus if it happened”. The critical thing, Mr Loke pointed out, was that “both baby and mother are safe and sound.”

Looking back, Madam Yau joked that the chance delivery wa
s “better than winning the lottery” when contractions began three days prior to Kaius’s due date.

“I was not very confident of making the date. As the date drew closer, people around us kept their fingers crossed,” says Madam Yau.

So does this family use their string of  “lucky birth-dates” to try and win the lottery?
Mr Loke’s dad has, in fact, struck the winning lottery using ‘1199’ – the two ‘1’s from Mr Loke’s birth date and the two ‘9’s from his wife’s!

Acc
ording to Madam Yau, since the birth of their eldest son, the couple’s family and friends began predicting the birth dates of her following pregnancies.

Her two older sons, who knew their special birth dates, would also encourage baby Kaius “to come out on October 10” each night while Madam Yau was pregnant with him.

Still, Madam Yau adds that she didn’t do anything to influence the birth dates. She is confident that her boys “chose” their unique birth dates on their own.

“We hope it will be a story that they can tell their children and grandchildren in future,” says Madam Yau.

No intention of expanding the family with more kids

Ben Neo, Madam Yau’s gynaecologist in th
e Ben Neo Clinic for Women, who helped to give birth to all of the Mr Loke’s children, says the Lokes have been the first case he’s seen in his practice.

“It is unique that all six members of the family have such birth dates,” says Dr Neo.

With baby Kaius delivered, M
r Loke isn’t planning to expand the family’s unique pattern of repeating birth dates with additional children.

At times, Mr Loke says he
does wonder about what life would be like if he had a daughter instead, asking himself questions like “How would my daughter look like if I had one? How different would I be as a father if I had a daughter?”

Ideally, Mr Loke still wants more kids. However, realistically, he admits that it would be difficult “
considering our ages, finances and time”.

The couple first encountered each other as
undergraduate students in the National University of Singapore (NUS). While they were dating, they did chat about their
special birth dates.

Eventually, they got married in 2006.
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The fami
ly’s car, a white Toyota Estima, shared the same licence plate number as their two former cars:  ‘1199’.

“Do you buy 4D? No, my best prize is at home,” says Mr Loke

A happy family is so much more important than winning the lottery! | Image Source: Stock Photo

Madam Yau’s kids’ birth dates have become an unexpectedly popular topic to start conversations.

She says that completing registration forms in clinics and pre-schools usually roused people’s attention to her children’s unique birth dates. Additionally, people were also “in awe or amazed” upon learning that all her children were delivered naturally.

The family’s special birth dates makes it very easy for family members to remember their birthdays, chuckles Madam Yau.

Mr Loke agrees, too, confessing that he could never forget his children or wife’s birthdays.

“People close to us think we are special and must have been greatly blessed to have these birth dates,” says Madam Yau.

And Mr Loke doesn’t need anyone to tell him that. He regards his family as “his greatest achievement”, saying that he feels “lucky and contented” the moment he returns home and sees his family.

“People often ask me whether I buy 4D, but I tell them no, I already have the best prize at home,” says Mr Loke.

Here at theAsianparent, we wish this wonderful family all the very best!

References:
The Straits Times
, Images: ST screengrabs.

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"My mother-in-law held my baby before me and I can never forgive her for that!"

Mother in law boundaries baby.

So you carry your precious angel in your womb for a good 9 months, waiting for that day when you’ll finally be able to hold her in your arms.

You are so obsessively and selfishly in love with the life inside you that you want to be the very first person to feel her, to be the very first person she sees. You deserve the privilege after all, for you are her mother – her creator, nurturer and protector.

So imagine what this mum went through when she woke up after C-section and discovered that ‘someone else’ had gotten to hold her bundle of joy first?

And that ‘someone else’ was not her husband, nor the doctor, not even the nurse, but…her mother-in-law?

Can you feel her pain now?

Mother In Law Boundaries Baby :
I Had An Emergency C-Section

A mum was left devastated when she realised that her mother-in-law had held her newborn before she got to. Mummy Miss Bax recently vented her anger on forum Mumsnet.

She writes, “I had my daughter six weeks ago.”

It wasn’t an easy delivery and she had to undergo an emgergency C-section, “It was a traumatic birth and ended in emergency C-section.”

Her husband was quite nervous and tense, and requested his mum to come over, as he needed some support, “She is a doctor and works in the same trust as I was delivering in, although she doesn’t work in the women’s hospital.”

It can get quite stressful to watch your pregnant wife being wheeled away for an emergency operation, and we totally understand what the hubby was going through.

Mother In Law Boundaries Baby :
My mother-in-law held my baby before me

So, the mother-in-law did turn up. Only, this mummy felt that she made herself more than useful, “She was able to obtain access to the recovery area with her works access card, and just let herself in without permission.”

So our mummy was blissfully unaware that her mother-in-law had actually sneaked in to the recovery area, “I wasn’t asked if it was okay if she could be there,…”

Now comes the worst part, “and because I was being stitched up on theatre still, she held my daughter before I even got to.”

“I’m so angry and upset about this.”

Oops! We feel you, mummy…

Mother In Law Boundaries Baby

She clarifies that she had often discussed with her hubby about wanting some alone time with the baby before having relatives over, “Prior to going into labour, I’d discussed with my husband that I didn’t want anyone visiting for at least a day or so, let alone have my mother-in-law there before I’ve even held my own child.”

Not just that, this mum is also upset that her mother-in-law managed to overhear some private information about her, “A doctor came and spoke to me whilst I was in recovery and mentioned some very personal information about me, medically, which she then overheard too.”

“I’m actually in tears this morning thinking about it all again and so angry and upset still.”

Being a new mum is beautiful, but it is also an incredibly delicate, exhausting, scary period. It is a momentous time in a woman’s life, and there is an enormous surge of thoughts and emotions.

There are so many things a mum has planned, in anticipation of her little one’s arrival, and we can totally identify with this mum’s sorrow on finding that her precious dream has been snatched away from her in an instant.

But then again, as some other mums pointed out, what if the mother-in-law’s intentions were totally harmless? She was after all there, because her son had sought her help?
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(Source:
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)

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To my children, when you don't need me anymore

“Mummy!!”

This word uttered continuously through the day by my boys – aged four and six – has dominated my space and time for years.

From the moment my little boys wake up to the moment they go to bed, they need me. One wants me in the morning for his first cup of water; the other for his milk. They need me to make their breakfasts and lunches, wash their hair, their bums, help them get dressed… and so it goes on through the day.

Right now, they need me and they need my time. Sure, it feels amazing to know that I am just so wanted by these two little human beings.

But…

There are times when I find these constant requests for my presence just downright exhausting. How can I be in two places at the same time, answering different questions, fulfilling different needs? Of course I do it, just like other parents.

But sometimes, I just want my time back, greedily, all to myself. I dream of the day when I won’t be so needed, when I can do as I please without thinking too hard about how it will affect my children’s needs.

At the same time, I realise that I need my boys as much as they need me right now, because soon, there will come a day when they won’t have time for me anymore, they won’t need me like this anymore, leaving me with a bittersweet ache in my heart.

So here’s what I’d like to tell them.

In a few years, both of you will be too big to need me. You’ll be independent – perfectly capable of dressing and bathing yourselves, packing your own schoolbags, getting your own glass of water.

You might talk back to me when I ask you something or you might ignore me altogether in that typical teenager way.

Your sweet chatter about planets, dinosaurs and what you did at school, and your incessant questions to me about which animal is the most ‘powerfullest’ ever, will likely be replaced by monosyllabic words, grunts or even worse, silence.

Your impulsive hugs and kisses will be rare and still as precious as gold.

You probably won’t have time for me as your days and thoughts become filled with friends, hobbies, sports, studies and girls… and you know what? This is just fine, because it’s normal. It’s how the world works and it’s how children grow up and become adults.

But I also want you to remember the days when all my time was yours. All the time spent cooking you meals you asked for and didn’t eat, stuck in school traffic, watching you chew your food oh-so-slowly.  The three hours I spent with a blinding headache to catch a two-minute glimpse of you in your school concert.

All this and more… it was not a waste of my time as I might have thought at the time.

There will come a time when I won’t be the most important person in your lives. Until then, time is precious.

Dedicating my time to these matters was as meaningful as those magical newborn day-night blurs when my time was irrelevant and all that mattered was you.

The long moments at dawn, dusk and in-between when it was just you at my breast and me, living in that precious moment.

For moments like that, time stood still.

Your neediness right now translates to love and trust. To understand that I am loved without limits is something I find hard to express with words (but I try).

My dream of having more time to myself right now is shattered by something as simple yet profound as two bear-hugs from you; a wide-eyed look from under long eyelashes that is pure love; by heartfelt utterances from you telling me how much you love me, how I am the best mummy in the world.

And I know there will come a time in my life when I wish I could have all those moments back – even the ones I sighed my way through.

In parenting, time is never lost or wasted. Time is precious, something never to be recovered. Time goes by too fast, and even faster, our little ones grow up. They won’t understand the value of time until they become parents themselves.
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So mums and dads, the next time you find yourself wishing that you didn’t have to sit by your child for an hour, waiting for him to finish his meal, or you grudgingly reject that amazing job offer because you just can’t find the time to dedicate to it in the midst of child-rearing, stop.

Your time will come.

But the time you have now with your children won’t come back. Cherish each nano-second of it – it’s worth your time a million times and more.

Is time whizzing by too fast for you too, mums and dads? Are there moments when you too wanted more time to yourself? Tell us – just leave a comment below.

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What Labour Pain Really Feels Like

I’m sure all mothers who have given birth would remember very clearly how labour was for them. Even those who opted for pain relief, would have had a small introduction and preview to labour pains.

So … I decided to ask some moms about their labour experiences, hoping to shine some light on what labour really feels like.

Signs of Labour

If the mention of labour pain hasn’t sent you running in the other direction yet, let’s talk about some signs that tells you that labour is underway. But if and when in doubt about what is happening to your body, contact your OBGYN anyway. They can always give you a once over to see if you’re really going to finally see your baby.

image credit : slideplayer.com

The usual main signs of labour starting, are strong and regular contractions. You might also get a “show”; a mucus-like discharge that could sometimes be tinted with a bit of blood. This happens when the plug of mucus from your cervix comes away. Do not be alarmed. Just inform your doctor, and he or she can advice on when you can make that trip to the hospital.

Other signs that labour is starting includes backache, menstrual-like cramps and an urge to go to the toilet, which is caused by your baby’s head pressing on your bowel. The most dramatic sign is of course, your waters breaking (rupture of the membranes).

What Labour Feels Like, According to Malaysian Mums

For my first pregnancy, it felt like the worst case of diarrhea, except I wasn’t pooping. It also was the l0ngest “diarrhea” experience ever.

Generally, you may feel the uterus tightening. Those strong contractions comes in surges and helps to push the baby into position and then out into the world. You may feel the muscles around the uterus harden and contract.
Chan Li Xiann
shared that her tummy was as hard as a stone and that it felt like her baby was going to burst out.

Another mom,
Tracy Chan
 said, “
(I was)
Howling like a banshee and had uncomfortable back ache every time I experienced surges.”

Contractions can also feel like gas pain. Or even strong pressure. Mom,
Kher Chia

described it as having diarrhea pain from tummy to buttock with increased intensity liken to a washing machine spinning non stop.

Bet none of us felt like
Yuki Nishitzawa who created her own spins
 doing the tootsie roll during labour!

Labor could also feel like a constant pain in your back, like what I experienced my second time around. If your baby is facing up when entering the birth canal, the pressure from his or her skull on the nerves of your back, could lead to some incredible pain.

I was walking around like a mad woman in my room, at 3am in the morning, because I wasn’t able to sit or lie down. Even when they strapped me up to monitor my contractions, I think they couldn’t accurately detect them as it was mostly focused on my back.

image credit : Gas And Air

And boy will it change in intensity. It starts off far apart and gradually gets closer and closer, longer and stronger.

“3 years ago I went into labour without any pain killer. I was tired and sleepy as well. I was sweating in cold sweat, struggling on the bed with every contraction and cursing at my husband. But (I) still managed to nap between surges. It was really crazy and I felt so high with the pain. Gonna experience this again in 3 months time!!”
 shared
Bee Lian
, who is currently in her second trimester.

Lilian Ho
 said,
“
I thought I would cry after all the pain… You know, (like) that movie thing? No. I just felt like swearing.”

Hiccups Can Happen

Nothing really prepares us for what could happen in the labour ward. You just have to deal with whatever life throws you.

Mom
Ren Dixon
shared about her rare experience during her s
econd pregnancy. The epidural she took only numbed the left side of her body, while the right side was subjected to the full pain of labour.

“
It was the strangest sensation ever. My whole right side would cramp up in unspeakable pain and then…nothing on my left. (It) Still made me mad enough to curse the nurses and doctor for the error until baby came out.
“

OUCH.

Let’s Do It Again

Suffice to say, after all the pain, screaming and cursing, mums would go through the miracle of birth, and bring life into this world all over again. That feeling of holding your baby, after patiently waiting to meet him or her for 9 long months, is indescribable. No matter how great the pain, one look into those eyes, and all is right with the world again.. Well… Until they start stitching you! *cringe*
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How To Manage Your Mental Health After Pregnancy Loss

There are an estimated
2.6 million stillbirths
 each year. And yet, for some reason we find it difficult to talk about something that happens so often. Not just the physical repercussions, but mental health after pregnancy loss continues to remain a taboo subject in most societies around the globe.

This abandonment of understanding of the basics of mental health after pregnancy loss can often leave women and their partners feeling isolated and seeking much-needed support. Not to forget, the changes in mood owing to dropping
hormone levels
 can add to the trauma.

However, by understanding the root cause and through coping mechanisms based around support, love, and care, couples who experience pregnancy loss can overcome the hurt.

Mental Health After Pregnancy Loss: Learn About the Root Cause, First

Image courtesy: Pixabay

Managing your mental health after

pregnancy loss should first begin with comprehending its root cause. Generally, pregnancy loss can be broadly attributed to either a
miscarriage
 or
stillbirth
. While the former is a spontaneous abortion anytime before 20 weeks, the latter can take place anywhere between
20 weeks
 and
37 weeks
.

Stillbirth, in particular can even be identified based on the duration of the pregnancy:

From 0 to
27 weeks
: Early stillbirth

Between
28
 and
36 weeks
: Late stillbirth

After 37 weeks: Term stillbirth

While it is known that maternal ill-health and complications during pregnancy can lead to pregnancy loss, it’s crucial to identify the root cause in order to plan the next steps.

That’s why most doctors prefer that an expecting mother undertake
pregnancy scans
 and come in for routine checkups.
But in the event of the inevitable loss, here are a few primary causes:

Pregnancy and labour complications
: These can include
preterm labour
, overdue baby with the pregnancy lasting for more than 42 weeks, carrying multiple babies at once, or an accident or injury during pregnancy.

Issues with the placenta
: This is a crucial link that provides essential nutrients, oxygen and blood to the baby. If it is affected by issues of blood flow, inflammation or even infection, it can lead to pregnancy loss.

Birth defects
: As per the
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
, about 1 in every 10 stillbirths is
due to birth defects
. These include structural defects, Rh incompatibility, genetic conditions, or fetal growth restrictions.

Infection in the body
: Whether it is in the mother’s body or the baby’s, infection such as cytomegalovirus (CMV), fifth disease, syphilis,
listeriosis
, genital herpes, or toxoplasmosis  can lead to pregnancy loss. Typically, infections are more common in stillbirths that occur before the
24th week
 of pregnancy.

Issues with the umbilical cord
: The umbilical cord connects the baby to the mother via the placenta. If an infection or inflammation occurs in it, or if it gets knotted or squeezed, it can lead to pregnancy loss.

Maternal health
: Finally, a mother’s ill health can also be one of the causes of pregnancy loss. Whether it is medical conditions such as
preeclampsia
 or chronic high blood pressure or
thyroid
, obesity, and
diabetes
, all of these can prove to be instrumental.

Unfortunately, you may not notice any of these symptoms early on unless you’ve had a proper medical examination. It is only when you start experiencing physical changes such as bleeding, or experience vaginal pain, or cramping that you may realise that something is amiss.

Another tangible sign of pregnancy loss is that the baby stops moving inside the womb.

Either way, if you do notice any of these signs and report them immediately to the doctor only to find that you’ve sadly lost the baby, your first priority should be to discuss your next options.

What Happens After Pregnancy Loss

Physically speaking, your body may take anywhere between two and four months to recover. This, depending on your health and the root cause of the loss. For instance, if it is a miscarriage, chances are the fetus will automatically be released from your body. This is also called expectant miscarriage.

Alternatively, in some cases remaining pregnancy tissue is removed via surgery.

In case of stillbirth, if your baby has passed away before labour, you may be given
medicine to induce labour
. This is a safer option as compared to a cesarean section.

However, if there is still time until the due date, you may be advised to take a few days of rest while the medicine prepares the body (generally about 48 hours) for labour.

While your body continues to adapt to the physical changes, mental health after pregnancy loss is the one aspect that may need serious work. With couples experiencing a profound emotional impact, support and care are at the heart of psychological recovery.

Mental Health After Pregnancy Loss: How To Manage Mind and Body

At this point, your emotions may be running high. You may feel lost, angry, sad, and constantly reflect on what you could have done to prevent it; all at the same time. However, it’s important to not blame yourself or even feel the need to somehow ‘get over it.’

It may also help to maintain a journal of your feelings. Here are a few things that you may find helpful to help you get through the grieving process.

1) Know that it is ‘OKAY’ to grieve

You’ve spent many months bonding with your unborn child. It was a time of hope and positivity. You’ve picked out clothes for your baby, perhaps even bought a crib and all the other equipment needed for your little one.

You’ve perhaps even wondered what your baby may look like, and even the personality traits.

Of course, you’ll be affected deeply by this loss. How can you not be? So know that it is okay to grieve for your loss, in your own way. Whatever that may look for you.

2) Work towards managing your guilt

It can be hard not to feel guilty. You might wonder what you could have done differently. If you should have been more careful or gone to the hospital earlier.

When the truth is that none of what you could have done may have changed much.

But getting answers from your doctor may help you understand the situation better. Ask him/her about your current medical condition, what you can do differently the next time around, and if it can happen again.

While this activity may not change the present, it can prepare you for the future, and help you get closure.

Image courtesy: Pixabay

3) Think about your partner or spouse

While you are grieving this loss, it can be easy to forget about your partner or spouse who is also going through the same emotional trauma
.
Remember that men and women may show grief differently.

At this juncture, it’s crucial that you keep your partner in mind as well. Be patient and share your feelings with each other. Try to be a good listener and be respectful of each others’ grieving processes.

5) Remember the baby

Naming your baby can be a way of remembering and honouring him/her. Those around you can also feel more comfortable to grieve alongside if you name your baby.

While some couples already have chosen names for their babies, you may even choose to remember your loved one with a representative name such as
Heaven
 or
Angel
. It’s advisable to choose a name that you are comfortable to say out loud.

In some cases, couples may even organise funerals for their babies. All of these decisions will be rooted in how you wish to remember your baby.

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6) Prepare to get back home

It’s possible that getting back home both physically and mentally may be difficult at this point. You may feel that you cannot look at the crib you bought or no longer feel connected to your baby. So trust your instincts.

If you want family and friends to remove things that remind you of your baby then inform them before you come back. And if you don’t want that to happen, share that as well.

9) Watch out for any signs of depression

Sometimes healthy pregnancies can also come with their fair share of ‘
baby blues
.’ But in case of pregnancy loss, you may experience greater emotional impact. That’s why it’s crucial to understand the difference between grief and
depression
.

If you are constantly withdrawn, lose your appetite and even experience suicidal tendencies, these are signs of depression. You may need to seek immediate counsel and help.

Image courtesy: Pixabay

10) Take care of your physical health

While you work on taking care of your mental health after pregnancy loss, it’s also important to make sure you are physically healthy.

Good health through  a balanced diet, and a well-rested hydrated body can help you recover faster and also keep your hormones in check.

11) Plan out future pregnancies

Eventually, you may decide whether or not to
conceive again
. This choice is of course, deeply personal. If you do decide to go ahead and try again, it should be on your own terms.

Know that it doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten your loss. It only means that you acknowledge that life moves on and you still remember your little one.

Talk to your doctor to make sure you are physically ready, when you are emotionally ready to take this step. Continue to take good care of your health. Spend time with your partner or spouse so you are both on the same page.

Most importantly, know that emotional recovery from pregnancy loss can be difficult and slow and difficult. But with support from family and friends, as well counsel from professionals, you can ease into the next phase of your life.

Sources:
WHO
,
Healthline
,
NHS

Also read: Mental Health During Pregnancy: Everything You Need To Know

This article has been republished with permission from
theAsianparent Singapore
.

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