What parents must know about the Momo suicide challenge

Parents, you might have heard about the
Blue Whale challenge
 already. This is a dangerous “game” that presents various “dares” to kids. And if they fail, they are goaded to take their own life. In other words, it’s a suicide challenge.

Now, another similar challenge has reared its ugly head. Known as the Momo Challenge, this one uses a common, innocent messaging app – Whatsapp – to target children. We urge you to look out for it, learn more about it,
and
 learn how to protect your children from it. Here’s a clearer explanation of the risks of the Momo Challenge.

The Risks of Momo Challenge

The Momo Suicide Challenge is a game which has roots in Japan. Essentially, it all started with Facebook group members daring themselves to contact an unknown number. Nowadays, the suicide game is popular on both Facebook and Whatsapp.

The anonymous person with the unknown number, who is commonly known as “Momo”, will instruct you to engage in odd activities, like waking up at night or overcoming a fear.

Children are then told to film themselves doing these activities and send it to Momo. If the challenge is successful, Momo will encourage you to partake in even more dangerous activities that involve harm – eventually leading to suicide.

More often than not, Momo won’t just message you normally. Momo’s messages may be filled with violent or scary content, and Momo will even call participants and intimidate them. Refusing to do the challenge will make Momo threaten to visit you and curse you.

It’s very to easy to see why children feel so pressured in this hideous challenge.

The bulging eyes, wide grin and warped features of Momo make it easy to believe that she’s real. Factor in the fact that children may have some difficulty distinguishing between reality and fantasy – together with peer pressure – and you have a disaster waiting to happen.

Interestingly, Momo herself isn’t real. Momo is actually a sculpture named “Mother Bird” by Midori Hayashi, a Japanese Artist (see below). It was an artwork exhibited in Tokyo’s horror Art Vanilla Gallery, and it was never intended to be used in a dangerous game on social media.

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「違和感」はもう少し仕事しといたほうがいいと思う。山下さん撮影w ヴァニラ画廊にて

A post shared by
 Tinkerbell Asuka
 (@tinkerbellasuka) on
Aug 20, 2016 at 3:45am PDT

No Joke

This is no joke, parents. The Momo Challenge is a a very serious cyber threat with real consequences. Recently, a 12-year-old girl in Buenos Aires has reportedly taken her own life in her home in Argentina. Apparently, she recorded her last moments before committing suicide. Police suspected that she heeded Momo’s instructions and participated in the game.

Why does it work?

The game mainly works due to a few reasons:

Social Media Apps like Facebook and Whatsapp are easily accessible today
. Any unsuspecting child can just download it and be pressured into playing, thinking that there is no danger.

Children’s brains are still developing
. Children are still unable to differentiate fact from fiction. Don’t forget there’s also peer pressure. Both of these factors can make a creepy face and frightening messages become reality, leading to tragedies.

For children, scary things that seem implausible to adults, such as curses, are real to them. |Image Source: Stock Photo

Whatsapp uses encrypted technology and anyone can use it
 with just a phone number. This means that parents and police find it hard to trace messages coming from an account and are unable to keep an eye out for possible cyberbullying behaviour.

How can I protect my children from this cruel game?

While not giving your child a smartphone or Whatsapp account may be easy, it may not be practical in our techno-centric world. Here are some sensible, easy tips to help protect your children.

Monitor and supervise your child’s online activity
. You can ask your child for their phone and check through their Whatsapp activity briefly.

Educate your children about the dangers.
Let your child know that suicide won’t benefit anyone, and that it will only hurts their loved ones. Listening to Momo’s instructions won’t do anyone good: It will just cause people to get hurt.

Educate your children about the dangers of this suicide game so that they know what to do if they encounter it. | Image Source: Stock Photo

Be open with your kids, and encourage them to be a positive influence
. If your child is old enough to understand clear risks, talk to them openly about this game. Tell them
why
 they should
not
participate in it. Also, encourage them to be a pillar of support for their peers!

Delay giving them a smartphone.

Young children shouldn’t be given a smartphone
. For older kids, any normal phone that can make outgoing calls is more than enough.

Be a good role model by limiting your own smartphone use, especially when your children are around.
Start with simple habits like keeping the phone at home when going to dinner and leaving it off before bed (yes, even if you have to buy an alarm clock!).

Set clear rules at home for using the smartphone
, such as a no-phone schedule (during meals, before bedtime) and limiting when your children have access to phones. If your younger kids use Whatsapp, make sure it’s only on the phone you or your partner uses.

Tackling the Issue of Suicide with Your Child:

1.
Share your own experiences.
 We’ve all gone through a lot of scary experiences. Share your own struggles and the lessons you’ve learnt from them, and how everything turned out okay in the end.

2.
Don’t freak out
. We all get panicky when it comes to suicide. However, your child will trust you more if you approach this in a calm manner.

3.
Get on social media.
 Friend your child on Facebook, and Whatsapp. Let them know that you can always talk to them on the phone wherever they are.

But what if my children are already playing the Momo Challenge?

The Ministry of Education (MOE), Singapore, issued an
advisory
 on the trend of suicide games via its online publication
Schoolbag
.

Here’s a breakdown of the safety tips they gave:
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Know the warning signs.
 Keep an eye on your children for signs of distress, like out-of-character behaviour, aggressiveness, social withdrawal, anxiety, or fear.

Talk about your child’s feelings.
 Talk to your child with a smile. You have to make them feel safe confiding in you. Ask them calmly what the problem is and if you can help.

Stand by their side in this challenge.
 Assure him or her that “Momo” doesn’t exist, and that it’s okay to refuse instructions or go against peer pressure. If your child is too scared, say that you’ll stand by their side no matter what happens.

Talk about what your child is watching or playing.
 You can talk about which characters your teen liked or disliked, and why he or she felt this way.

Don’t be afraid to ask your child direct questions if they’ve done anything dangerous or had a scary experience.
Open up a healthy discussion with questions like “Have you ever been scared by someone recently?”

Lastly, don’t forget that if worse comes to worst, you can always block or delete unknown phone numbers from your child’s phone. Remember to file a police report and to also consult a paeditrician or a psychologist if your child had a traumatic experience.

References:
Yahoo News
,
ABC News
,
Straits Times
,
Unscrambled
,
Simplemost
,
tinkerbellasuka

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7 Things that can predict divorce, according to science

No one can really know whether or not a couple will get divorced. But you’ll be surprised that scientists have actually discovered seven reasons for divorce, that can be predicted early on.

It’s important to note that these things don’t necessarily mean that couples who fit these descriptions are going to get divorced. It’s still up to married couples to be the ones to keep their relationship strong and their marriage intact.

So, without further ado, here are seven reasons for divorce, as predicted by science.

Knowing about these 7 things that can predict divorce can help couples keep their marriage intact.

7 reasons for divorce

1. If you get married in your teens or after 32

Ideally, couples should get married when both of them are ready to be committed to each other for the rest of their lives.

However, researchers have discovered that couples who got married in their teens or in their mid-30s or older were more likely to get divorced.

For teens, it has more to do with the fact that most couples tend to be more immature or find it hard to deal with new responsibilities.

Additionally, researcher
Nicholas Wolfinger
 found that after age 32, the odds of divorce increase by 5% each year. He adds, “For almost everyone, the late twenties seems to be the best time to tie the knot.”

2. If your husband doesn’t work full time

Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with finances, but more about the division of work in a couple.

The theory behind this is that the stereotype of the “male breadwinner” is still very much alive, so if the husband doesn’t work full time or doesn’t work at all, then it can affect marital stability which can be a probable cause of divorce.

3. Not finishing high school

It might seem unfair that couples who don’t finish school are more prone to divorce, but that’s what researchers have discovered.

The fact that there’s a higher rate of divorce among couples who didn’t spend a lot of time in school might have something to do with the fact that a lower educational attainment can mean a lower income, and thus can cause financial problems.

4. Having contempt towards your spouse

Contempt
 towards your spouse means that you see them not as equals, but as someone who’s beneath you. Obviously, that’s not a good thing to have in a marriage.

And according to John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington and the founder of the Gottman Institute, it’s one of the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” when it comes to relationships which include:

Criticism
 – This is when you directly make a negative comment about your partner’s character.

Defensiveness
 – This is when you constantly play the victim whenever you have an argument.

Stonewalling
 – Completely blocking off conversation in the relationship.

5. Having too much affection as newlyweds

It’s surprising but too much affection can actually become a big problem in your marriage.

That’s because it’s hard to constantly maintain a high level of affection in a marriage, so when couples who are overly affectionate suddenly experience a drastic drop in their affection then the couple might feel a loss in romance or love for one another.

6. Shutting off when you have conflict

It’s normal for people to try to withdraw from conflict. However, completely shutting yourself off or ignoring your spouse whenever you have conflict isn’t healthy behavior.

This type of severe withdrawal behavior makes it difficult for couples to discuss their own problems and thus makes it hard for them to communicate and solve their marital problems.

It also takes a toll on your spouse, since if they’re constantly faced with silence whenever you have conflict, it can cause them to be unhappy in the relationship.

7. Always putting your relationship in a negative light

Marriage is something that all mums and dads should be proud of, and always putting your relationship in a negative light isn’t going to improve your marriage.

Constantly being negative about your marriage means that it’s hard for you to see the positive things that are happening in your relationship. Focusing on the negative aspects also magnifies them in your mind and can make things much worse.
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Having a positive mindset and constantly working on improving your marriage are important things to remember if you want to
prevent divorce
.

Sources:

American Sociological Review

Institute for Family Studies

Economic Enquiry

Bureau of Labor Statistics

Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes

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Bye Bye, Caffeine! 5 Caffeine-Free Energy Boosters

Do you rely on a caffeine-based pick-me-up to get through your morning, mid-day slump, or moments of fatigue? Yes, caffeine can provide you with an almost instant burst of energy and can increase mental focus.

However, that surge of energy is due to the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline being released. As you may know, these effects are short-lived and may lead to feeling more tired than you were before. In fact, too much caffeine can bring about anxiety, insomnia, and heart palpitations – just to name a few side effects.

The good news? There are many natural solutions available. Here 5 caffeine-free energy boosters for when you’d like to cut down on your caffeine intake without suffering from energy slumps.

5 Caffeine-Free Energy Boosters You Must Try Today

1# Gotu Kola (Pegaga)

Used for centuries around Asia, Pegaga is among the most powerful herbs known for healing. As Pegaga is an adaptogenic herb it can benefit you in various ways, based on what your body needs the most help with.

If that’s mental clarity then know that Pegaga activates the release of BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) which improves mental cognition and memory while simultaneously encouraging new brain cells to form.

Pegaga by PurelyB is a healing blend of traditional Asian superfoods, composed of some of nature’s most powerful herbs and fruits: Pegaga (Gotu Kola), turmeric leaf, papaya leaf, and green apples and dates.

This powerful blend of herbs and fruits has proven health benefits such as enhanced brain function and memory, improved digestive and detoxification, strengthened immunity, skin repair and anti-ageing properties.

2# Red Dates

Red Dates, commonly referred to as Jujube, is loved by Koreans for its various health benefits. In fact, many Koreans claim it’s the (not so) secret to feeling and looking young.

That claim probably has to do with how Red Dates are packed with vitamins and minerals that can boost your energy.

Ironically, it can help you sleep better, too, so it’s a double-edged sword ready to cut through any energy lows you may be experiencing.

3# Ginseng

Studies have found that ginseng reduces fatigue in athletes so if it can help them, it can definitely help you! Ginseng has been used for thousands of years in Traditional Chinese Medicine and recently, traditional remedies have been on the rise.

Unsurprising considering how ginseng, for example, is known for improving mental performance, promoting health, and prolonging life as well.

Note: ginseng is not suitable for kids under 12 and is recommended to be ingested during the day as too much of it can disrupt sleep.

4# Astragalus

Another traditional remedy, astragalus is a sweet, warming herb that is an excellent remedy for when your energy levels start depleting.

Research has shown that besides boosting metabolism and energy, it can repair and heal the immune system, too.

Note: Although it’s safe for use, you should not take astragalus if you have an infection or high fever because it may strengthen the virus.

5# Maca

Maca, a root belonging to the radish family, is native to the high Andes of Peru. Like Pegaga, it’s an adaptogen.

Maca enhances energy and endurance as it can regulate hormones and aid tissue functions. The darker coloured maca roots are packed with natural iodine and in general, maca contains 55 phytochemicals that are known to have vitality-enhancing effects in the body.

Typically it’s sold in powder form so is a great addition to any smoothie.

Bonus Tips: Try Peppermint

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Luckily, peppermint is something that is easy to come by despite offering a whole range of benefits. It’s known for increasing mental alertness while relaxing your muscles at the same time.

Simply sniffing peppermint essential oil will give you that much-needed lift! Peppermint essential oil is even effective in relieving headaches, especially those caused by muscle tension.

If you haven’t entered the world of essential oils yet, then you can stick to peppermint tea for similar benefits.

A Gentle Reminder

Although fatigue is not a disease, it can have a negative impact on the quality of your life and may even result in physical and/or psychological illnesses.

If you suffer from chronic fatigue, do see a healthcare practitioner.

We hope the article about caffeine-free energy boosters would be helpful to you!

This article has been republished with permission from
PurelyB
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

Read more:

Is Gratitude the Key to Happiness?

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Why Knowing Where Your Milk Comes From Is So Important

Mums, we’re often known to take charge, right? We take charge of our child’s schedules, their diets and not to mention, all of the household chores.

This includes shopping for the family and buying essentials. But before we go out and buy our weekly necessities for the family, we always do our research.

One of the things that we spend most time researching would be the choice of formulated milk powder for children to be assured that we are making the best choice for kids. In the process, do we always succumb to the different fortified nutrients bombarded our way. Highest in something, most in something else?

A recent study done* shows that Malaysian mums are looking more into the quality control going into the milk manufacturing process as well as where their milk is coming from.

In fact, the study also indicated that there is a rising global concern when it comes to food source transparency. Due to incidents in the past, parents worry about milk authenticity and safety. There is demand from parents for brands to educate the public more about the milk authenticity, safety and quality.

Source: Friso Gold

Every parent needs to be reassured that the product they are purchasing is authentic, safe and of good quality. They want to know that the milk their children are consuming comes from a reputable source while maintaining a high level of nutritional value.

Milk Source & Manufacturing Process: Important Contributing Factors to Product Quality

The fact is, many parents assume that all popular milk brands are imported from Western countries. However, this is not always the case. Often, milk goes through a double manufacturing process in countries such as Thailand or Singapore, rather than a single manufacturing process from a single origin.

Double manufacturing processes can potentially compromise the quality of nutrients due to the double heat treatment that nutrients are exposed to.

That is why, Friso Gold®, 100% produced and packed in the Netherlands, believes that good quality milk is best achieved from grass to glass, through a single manufacturing process coupled with LocNutri™ Technology’s mild heat treatment. Natural nutrients are preserved so that it’s easy to digest and promotes stronger inside. With over 11,000 farms in the Netherlands, Friso Gold® has the advantage of taking the best of nature and making it better with science through a single manufacturing process.

Source: Friso Gold

Reassurance with TrackEasy Milk Traceability System

Friso Gold® has taken a step ahead by enabling parents to trace the full journey of its milk from source via the TrackEasy Milk Traceability system available in the form of a QR code at the bottom of their tins.

The Friso Gold® TrackEasy Milk Traceability System is the first and only in the industry, with smart packaging innovation to help parents track the full journey of the milk from its source to deliver the best nutrition to their children.

This way, parents are able to see exactly where their milk is coming from, where it goes for its manufacturing process, before it is packaged and exported to Malaysia.

Source: Friso Gold

To learn more about the Friso Gold® TrackEasy Milk Traceability System, join in the official virtual launch of Friso Gold® TrackEasy Milk Traceability System on 20 June, 10pm via Friso Gold® Malaysia’s
YouTube
 and
Facebook
. Save the date now and we’ll see you there!

Meanwhile, you can also learn more about Friso Gold® TrackEasy
here
. Friso Gold® milk products are available on
Shopee
 at and
Lazada
.

Or get your FREE sample
here
 today.

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What to do If You're Afraid of Giving Birth and How to Overcome Childbirth Fears

Giving birth is one of the most significant life-changing experiences that you will ever go through in your life, so it is no surprise that many mums-to-be are apprehensive about having their first baby. When most of us think about childbirth, the word “pain” is one of the first to come to mind, especially if this is your first time.

Not surprising considering that most women are only ever exposed to over-dramatised, complications-filled labours on movies and T.V. shows. When you do think about it, has there ever been a complication-free labour scene portrayed in the media?

We don’t think so.

While it is completely normal to feel a little fearful as you near the end of your pregnancy, intense fear of the delivery can actually complicate the process itself.

A study conducted in the U.K. found that women who suffer from fear of childbirth during pregnancy have an increased rate of emergency Caesarean sections or, worst, complicated vaginal deliveries involving vacuums or other instruments.

The feeling of giving birth

Mum-to-be Carol Neo recently posted a question on theAsianparent Facebook Fanpage asking;

“Thinking what is the feeling of giving birth as I will be giving birth soon nearer to my delivery date?”

Carol’s question might come across as innocuous to most, but other mums who have gone through what she’s about to go through will know that it is a question loaded with trepidation and hope.

Mak Ct wrote “Some got backache, some feel like going toilet [to] do big business, some says [it’s] like period cramp. Some say real labour; you would not be able to stand the cramp and sleep through it [sic] So depending on your body pain relief.”

While others, like Lay La, came with a story that sent chills down our spine; “Be prepared for the contraction pain. It’s like you’re being tasered from your back every 2 mins. Giving birth is easy, like pushing a big poop; the difficult part is going thru the contractions and waiting for your cervix to open.”

Other mums, on the other hand were quite unanimous in their advice to new mums to “relax and think positive.” Though the advice is sound, it is easier said than done.

8 Common fear when it comes to childbirth fears

We understand that fear of childbirth could be intense, especially if this is the first time you’re undergoing one.

Here’s our endeavour to list out the top eight biggest fears when it comes to childbirth and tips on how you could overcome them.

1) Fear of pain during childbirth

Every woman who is about to give birth for the first time will worry about this because it’s hard to imagine that the process will be pain-free. Taking childbirth classes, such as Lamaze, might help soothe your worries and prepare you for labour.

Also, there is no shame in opting for pain suppressants such as an Epidural. Whatever people tell you, taking a pain suppressant during labour will not make you a less fantastic mum.

2) Fear of being in labour for too long

Everyone has heard the horror stories about someone being in labour for days, but in reality, the average delivery lasts 18 hours. It is comforting to know that doctors rarely let the process go past 20 hours.

If your labour stalls, your doctor can do things to augment the process, such as giving you Pitocin to make your uterus contract or allowing you to continue your labour in a hot tub.

3)  Fear of becoming paralysed by an epidural injection gone wrong

The risk of permanent paralysis, as well as death or a heart attack, from an epidural, falls in a range of one in 20,000 to one in 1,000,000.

Anaesthetists are highly-trained doctors who perform epidurals every day. Try to have some faith in modern medicine and the people trained in them.

4) Fear of losing control
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Whether it’s a fear of pooping on the delivery table or fear of cursing uncontrollably, the possibility of not having total control over bodily functions can be completely horrifying.

However, labour and delivery nurses, obstetricians and midwives have seen and heard it all, so you don’t have to worry about shocking them.

If you are concerned about losing bowel control, you can always opt for an enema in the early hours of labour.

5)  Fear of vaginal tearing

It is a widespread concern among mothers-to-be, and rightly so, because tears in the perineum (the area between your vagina and anus) are common, especially in first-time births.

Most perineal tears are superficial, and only 4 per cent of women suffer serious tears.

Fortunately, you can do things at home before giving birth that can help prevent tearing, such as doing Kegel exercises to make the perineal muscles stronger and massaging your perineum to increase blood flow and the elasticity of the muscles.

6) Fear of accidentally having the baby anywhere but the hospital

This seems to be one incident that only happens in the movies and television, but it is possible. In less than one per cent of births, a pregnant woman suddenly feels the urge to push without labour symptoms or contractions.

However, it can happen, especially if you have had previous quick labour.

Suppose you do find yourself in this situation. The American College of Nurse-Midwives document, A Guide to Emergency Preparedness for Childbirth, gives step-by-step instructions on what to do in an emergency.

7) Fear of the umbilical cord strangling the baby

The cord
can
 and may end up around your baby’s neck during delivery, but it is important to remember that he or she is not breathing through his or her mouth yet. You are still living for your baby.

Even if the cord gets stretched, some mechanisms allow them to continue working properly. If your baby is born with his or her cord around the neck, all the doctor needs to do is untangle it after birth before cutting it.

8) Fear of dying during childbirth

This fear goes through the mind of every mom-to-be because, although the risk is low (13.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in the U.S. in 2006), it’s still a remote possibility, especially if you have a caesarean section.

However, taking childbirth classes, as well as taking a tour of the labour and delivery department of your hospital and talking to your obstetricians, may ease your mind. Dying is a risk that comes with every childbirth, but it is a risk that we are willing to take.

We hope that this article has helped quell your fears of childbirth and we wish you, the best of luck.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

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Weird But True: Odd Pregnancy Cravings!

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Tips to harness the power of your parenting style to raise resilient children

There are as many types of parenting styles as there are parents. Each style is a combination of chosen strategies for raising kids. While the amount of discipline, nurture, communication and expectation parents practice varies dramatically, the end goal is the same: to raise strong, independent and
resilient
 children who are able to face life’s challenges as they grow up. More so, in an ever-changing world.

What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important?

Resilience has been defined as the ability to recover from life’s obstacles and challenges, overcoming disadvantages to succeed, and withstand stress to function well in the tasks of life
1 2
 – all admirable traits that we would be proud to see our children display.

However, children are not born resilient. Their relationships, their nutrition, and their environment all play a role in building resilience. According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, “The active ingredients in building resilience are supportive relationships with parents, coaches, teachers, caregivers, and other adults in the community.”
3

Resilient children show traits such as Daringness, Resourcefulness, Self-Reliance, Adaptability and Perseverance. But each of these traits must be nurtured – by teachers, caregivers, and you – to raise a resilient child.

In short, your parenting style makes a difference.

Why Types of Parenting Styles Matter

Much of what we know about types of parenting styles is based on the research of Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist. She classified parents on their demands to their children (either authoritarian or authoritative) and their responsiveness (either permissive or neglectful). Then she observed how this affected the children’s behaviour.

Since this pioneering research in 1967, there have been a host of new learnings, and a slew of trendy parenting styles – good or bad. Helicopter parenting is perhaps the latest trend that has gained infamy. But there have also been tiger mums with exceedingly high demands of their children, panda dads who are rich in affection, and even the so-called “durian generation”.

Below you’ll find types of parenting styles – from Baumrind to today’s latest trends – and no matter what type of parent you are, here are a few tips on how you can raise your child resilient. Which parenting style best describes you?

Authoritarian Parenting

Do you make rules around the house, and your child must obey those rules without question?

Does your child follow everything you say without question?

An authoritarian parent is the boss of the house. When authoritarian parents set ground rules, their children must obey. And if they cross the line, they will be punished.

These children grow up in fear, worried that they may make others angry or make a mistake. When problems occur, they may become depressed. They become fearful when dropped into a new situation.

How to raise a resilient child:

While of course you need to enforce discipline and set rules, you also need to communicate with your children why you are doing so. Instead of flat-out punishing them when they are disobedient, explain the reasons why you punish your children. Teach them to be aware of consequences (e.g. how screaming in the train will bother other commuters, or how pushing a sibling will hurt them).

Have age-appropriate chats with your children. Tell them your expectations and goals, but give them the freedom to express themselves. In essence, be nurturing while having reasonable disciplinary rules in place. Over time, they will learn how to become agile and
adaptable
, positively changing their own behaviour, and achieving their goals.

Authoritative Parenting

When you make rules around the house, do you explain to your children why you do so?

Do you encourage your children to think for themselves, but don’t give in to them and discipline your kids when necessary?

Do you feel it’s important to teach and guide your children?

Authoritarian and authoritative parenting are two sides to the same coin, but there is a world of difference between them. While authoritarian parents enact rules that children must obey without asking “Why?”,  authoritative parents exact positive discipline strategies, but communicate why they do so.
4
 And more importantly, they lead by example. They respect their children, and raise their children to be respectful of others. These parents nip behaviour problems in the bud.

How to raise a resilient child:

Children raised by authoritative parents are more likely to become more responsible adults, being
self-reliant,
independent and comfortable in making decisions on their own. They are respectful, empathic, and kind towards their parents, peers and others.

There are no hard or right rules to parenting. Every parent knows there is a time to enforce strict discipline and a time to be gentle. What is becoming increasingly clear is that parents need to work towards the goal of raising their children to be resilient
so that they can be ready and embrace challenges that they will face in the future
.

Permissive Parenting

Feel like your children are more like friends?

Do you give your children the freedom to do whatever they want to do?

When your child is misbehaving, do you bribe them with toys, food or the iPad?

The permissive parent is the complete opposite of a helicopter parent. Super relaxed and chill, the permissive parent loves and indulges their kids.
5
 However, these parents don’t enforce discipline, avoid confrontations and really just feel that kids will be kids.

Research has found that children growing up under permissive parents grow up with no ambition or low achievement. They often don’t know how to make decisions, have poor time-management and could be prone to delinquency.

How to raise a resilient child:

If you feel that you might be a permissive parent, it’s time to get a little bit stricter around the house. Understand that your children will be upset when faced with something that is ultimately good for them. Household rules should be put in place and enforced. Parents need to follow through: there must be consequences for breaking the rules.
6

When you do so, your children will develop self-discipline – knowing that certain choices in life will have their own consequences. Too much of something (such as freedom) can be a bad thing. Age-appropriate freedom is key to helping them learn and consider their decisions. When children become independent and brave enough to make their own decisions and understand the consequences of their actions, they will eventually become self-reliant.

Neglectful Parenting/Uninvolved Parenting

Do you rarely ask your child what’s going in his life?

Not sure what he’s doing right now?

Never go for family activities together?

Practising uninvolved parenting
7
 is a complete 180-degrees to helicopter parenting. While your child is left to his or her own devices to face the struggles of life, these children become more emotionally withdrawn. Without their family support, children of uninvolved or neglectful parents are more likely to perform poorly in life. Either they suffer from anxiety or stress issues because they have nobody to turn to, or they become more naughty and less trusting of others.

Oftentimes, uninvolved parents grew up in a family that practised the same kind of parenting. Other times, they are too caught up with providing for the family that they unintentionally neglect their child.

How to raise a resilient child:

Parents need to be there in their children’s lives, guiding them with support, trust, discipline and love. That is how their children will grow up to become resilient and confident.

Communicate with your children often so they have the confidence that you will have their back when they forge ahead to face life’s challenges.  It may seem like leaving your child alone, free to do what he pleases, will make him daring, but the opposite is true. When your child knows that you are there for him, he will become
daring
 and confident enough to explore the world around him head first.

Helicopter Parents/Lawnmower Parents

Do you bring over homework your kids forgot?

Blame teachers for your children’s failing grades?

Do you handle their problems at school?

Lawnmower parents take helicopter parenting to the extreme. Lawnmower parents “literally” bulldoze through all of their children’s problems so their kids don’t face any challenges.
8
 Because of this, children become unable to tackle life’s challenges on their own, and end up with a lack of confidence, and no motivation. They may even find it hard to communicate with others.

Another similar term for this type of parenting is “curling parents”. Like participants in the winter sport, curling parents sweep away all obstacles in their children’s lives.

How to raise a resilient child:

How much help is too much help? While that can be tricky to answer, keep in mind that children should be given the chance to handle challenging situations on their own.

With that in mind, trust your children. Expose them to the world and experiences so that they can learn to do things out of their comfort zone, learn to be
resourceful,
 finding out the best way to tackle their own problems.

Submarine Parenting

Do you let your children make their own decisions?

Have you signed up your kids to activities and events with other children of their age?

Do you keep watch your child playing in the playground without worrying he or she might fall?

Like a submarine hiding in deep waters, a submarine parent keeps tabs on their child from a distance without playing an active role unless the situation calls for it.
9
 It’s nurturing your child without being too involved like a helicopter parent.

How to raise a resilient child:

Submarine parents let their children make their own decisions and give them a chance to believe in themselves, while still being available for guidance if needed. These children learn to be resilient, knowing how to bounce back from mistakes without the need to run back to their parents whenever a problem crops up. They will learn how to
persevere
, not giving up and knocking down challenge after challenge that comes their way.

Yes, Your Parenting Style Can Help Your Child Become Resilient

As parents, you need to learn how to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. These can be times when you see your children experiencing hardship, when they get a nasty knock in a soccer game, or when they try to accomplish difficult tasks that may be beyond their current skills, like reading a book for older kids. for older kids. You need to know when to catch them, push them, or let them go.

There isn’t a “best” parenting style. It’s more important to be flexible in your parenting approach — set rules but also show love to your children and communicate with them as often as possible. Step back and give them the space to face life’s challenges but let them know that you are around to guide them (not fight their battles). That way, they will develop the necessary skills – daringness, perseverance, self-reliance, resourcefulness and adaptability – and ultimately become resilient.

Finally, your parenting style also includes how you provide the right nutrition, support and care. Your children also need important nutrients to help them grow strong and ready to face the world, providing them with everything they need to learn resilience one step at a time.

To learn more about how to raise a resilient child, visit
www.aptagro.com.my
.

References:

1
Masten AS, Best KM, Garmezy N. Resilience and development: Contributions from the study of children who overcome adversity. Development and Psychopathology 1990;2(4):425-444.

2
Masten AS, Gewirtz AH. Vulnerability and resilience in early child development. In: McCartney K, Phillips DA, eds. Handbook of early childhood development. Malden, Mass: Blackwell Publishing. In press.

3

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-resilience-series/

4

https://www.verywellfamily.com/are-you-an-authoritative-parent-why-this-is-the-best-approach-3964005

5

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-permissive-parenting-2794957

6

https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/teenager/parenting-teens/consequences-and-discipline/how-discipline-affects-resilience

7

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

8

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/09/19/meet-lawnmower-parent-new-helicopter-parents-types-parents-tiger-attachment/1347358002/

9

https://www.priyashah.com/submarine-parenting/

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7 Scientifically Proven Ways To Reduce Belly Fat. Let's Get Fit!

Let’s be real. As much as we love and embrace our curves, stubborn belly fat can be both annoying and embarrassing. Notoriously, it ruins our look, making our once-flattering dress look like we will tear it if we breathe. But there is something that stubborn belly fat does which is way worse. This “white fat” has the ability of seeping into our internal organs and sets us up for serious health problems. If you want to learn how to reduce belly fat, you’ve come to the right place.

How To Reduce Belly Fat

In order to understand how to reduce belly fat, you first need to understand fat and how it affects your body.

There are two types of belly fat: visceral fat and subcutaneous fat.

While belly fat is not visible, it is more dangerous than subcutaneous fat, which is characterised by dimple-like skin. Both are stored in the body in different ways — and harm the body in their own way as well.

Let’s take an in-depth look at the two.

1. Visceral fat

This is also called active fat and is generally stored in our abdominal cavity. It settles deep and near vital organs like the stomach, liver and intestines.

Visceral fat can be quite dangerous to the body because it can lead to serious health complications.

It increases insulin resistance, even if you’ve never had diabetes.
Research
 published in
PubMed
 suggests that this may be because visceral fat secretes retinol-binding protein, which leads to insulin resistance.

It also increases the risk of a heart attack,
breast cancer
,
type 2 diabetes
, colorectal cancer and even
Alzheimer’s disease
.

The good news is with a balanced diet and exercises such as cardio, you can get rid of this type of fat.

2. Subcutaneous fat

This type of fat lies directly under the skin. You may have noticed it as dimples on your skin, especially in areas such as the thighs, arms and of course, the belly.

Subcutaneous fat actually acts as a shield for the body and helps to maintain the internal temperature.

One of its most famous forms is cellulite. It is this cellulite that creates the dimpled appearance. And, although it doesn’t really cause any health complications, it can be unsightly for some.

Incidentally, it is also found in some skinny body structures. It becomes more noticeable as people get older and their skin gets thinner.

This type of fat, however, is far more difficult to burn off. It requires resistance training and sometimes even weight training so that the loose skin can become tight.

How To Reduce Belly Fat: 7 scientifically proven methods that work

In your fat-loss efforts, it is possible to create a fat loss programme that targets both visceral and subcutaneous fats. So not only do you have to begin with a structured exercise regime, you will also have to concentrate on your diet.

Luckily, there are scientifically proven methods than can help you prepare your customised fat loss plan. Let’s take a look at them.

1. Don’t stop moving

When you first chart out a fat loss programme, exercise and physical activity should be your priority. Begin by concentrating on losing visceral fat. You can get rid of it by engaging in activities that pump up your heart rate.

You can vaporise your calories by running, walking, jogging, cycling and even swimming. The idea is to pump up your heartbeat and keep it in motion. This is the best way to lose visceral fat.

If you are wondering how to reduce belly fat, begin with heart-pumping cardio exercises like running, jogging or even brisk walking. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

In fact, you don’t even have to push yourself to engage in cardio exercises for hours at a stretch. Simple exercises like brisk walking can reduce risk of medical complications caused by visceral fat.

A recent
study
 by Duke Health (University of Duke, U.S.) proves that “Walking briskly on a regular basis may be more effective than vigorous jogging for improving glucose control in individuals with pre-diabetes.”

So opt for low-intensity exercises to lose visceral fat.

Dr. William Kraus, M.D.
, lead author and professor of medicine, Division of Cardiology, Duke University School of Medicine, explains, “High-intensity exercise tends to burn glucose more than fat, while moderate-intensity exercise tends to burn fat more than glucose.”

2. Include yoga in your daily exercise routine

If you already perform a few
yoga asanas
, you are on the right track. However, if you haven’t started yet, now is the time.

A 2012
study
 published in the
Journal of The North American Menopause Society
 proves that women who tried a 16-week yoga programme saw a significant reduction of their visceral fat.

Yoga is the next best solution to the inevitable question of “how to reduce belly fat” and it actually works. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

The study noted, “Body weight, percentage of body fat, lean body mass, body mass index, waist circumference, and visceral fat area had significantly decreased.”
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If you cannot perform the
 sun salutation
 or the downward dog at first, don’t worry. You can also begin with relaxing and stretching exercises. The idea should be to relax your body and bring down the cortisol level. A
study
 by the Yale University has proved that stress levels increase cortisol and lead to accumulation of fat in the belly.

“Non-overweight women who are vulnerable to the effects of stress are more likely to have excess abdominal fat, and have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol,” the Yale University study suggests.

3. Try to get 8 to 9 hours of sleep

Sleeping
 is as important as exercising, especially when it comes to losing belly fat. If you do not get your seven to eight hour of sleep, or as much as your body needs, it can cause accumulation of fat around your organs.

A
study
 by the Wake Forest University School of Medicine, U.S. proved that there was “a clear association between averaging five hours or less of sleep each night and large increases in visceral fat, or fat around the organs.”

In case you are wondering how to reduce belly fat without too much physical activity, catching up on your sleep is the answer. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

So getting some shut eye is as important as hitting the gym. However, there is a catch.

The study also proved that excessive sleeping can lead to the accumulation of fat. “The researchers found that getting more than eight hours of sleep on average per night has a similar – though less pronounced – affect,” the researchers noted.

“Both may be detrimental and, in general, people should aim for six to eight hours of sleep each night,” shared Kristen G. Hairston, M.D., M.P.H., an assistant professor of endocrinology and metabolism at the university and lead author on the study.

So if you have been wondering how to reduce belly fat without too much physical activity, catching up on your sleep is the answer

4. Eat your proteins

Proteins are crucial to build up muscles. But did you know that they are also great to reduce that stubborn belly fat?

That’s because your body begins to resist insulin as you grow older but a
high protein diet
 protects your body against insulin resistance. So it not only reduces the chances of diabetes but, also helps reduce fat.

A diet high in protein has considerable beneficial effects on satiety and weight control. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

A
study
 published in the
Nutrition and Metabolism
journal proves that, “Some of the potential mechanisms that account for weight loss associated with high-protein diets involve increased secretion of satiety hormones (GIP, GLP-1), reduced orexigenic hormone secretion (ghrelin), the increased thermic effect of food and protein-induced alterations in gluconeogenesis to improve glucose homeostasis.”

In other words, a high protein diet can help considerably to lose fat. But at the same time, you need to be aware of the side effects of consuming too much protein, such as increased acid load to the kidneys or high fat content of animal proteins. As long as you are aware of these risks, it is possible to formulate a protein-rich, balanced diet for yourself.

Include lean meat, seafood, beans, low-fat dairy, eggs as well as nuts and seeds in your daily diet if you want to see that belly fat go down.

5. Add polysaturates to your food

You may already know that saturated fat (found in sausage, bacon, butter, suet, lard, coconut oil and palm oil) packs more visceral fat. But you may not know that polysaturated fat doesn’t add more visceral fat, but adds muscle fat instead.

This is proved by a Swedish
study
 conducted by the Lund University. The researchers wanted to check the impact of saturated and polysaturated fats on the body. They found that polysaturated fats “improved carbohydrate metabolism in the body.”

Add polysaturated fats to your diet because they improve carbohydrate metabolism in the body and reduce belly fat. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

You can find polysaturated fat in oily fish such as a mackerel, herring and salmon, as well as in algae, nuts and oils made from rapeseed, sunflower seeds and corn.

So whenever you prepare festive dishes or ones that require you to add oil, opt for these oils. In addition, make it a point to eat oily fish as well as nuts.

6. And a spoonful of vinegar too…

A Japanese
study
 published in
PubMed
 proves that vinegar can actually help you lose visceral fat faster than you would expect.

In their report, the experts concluded that “Body weight, BMI, visceral fat area, waist circumference, and serum triglyceride levels were significantly lower in both vinegar intake groups. Daily intake of vinegar might be useful in the prevention of metabolic syndrome by reducing obesity.”

Try to include vinegar in your daily diet in order to reduce stubborn belly fat. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

Pamela Peeke, professor of medicine at the University of Maryland and author of
Fight Fat After 40
 told
Prevention
, “One theory is that the acetic acid in the vinegar produces proteins that burn up fat.”

However, since vinegar is quite acidic and cannot be taken directly, diluting it is a good idea. Better yet, flavoured vinegars such as apple cider vinegar and grape vinegar can also work. You can include them in your salads as well as your meals. But we advise you to speak with your doctor before trying this.

7. Stock up your green tea cabinets

Everybody says this and most people do it, and that’s because it actually works! Yes ladies. Believe it or not, green tea works to reduce stubborn belly fat.

If you exercise moderately and eat healthy, an addition of catechin-rich green tea can drastically reduce visceral fat.

In fact, a
study
 published in the
Journal of Functional Foods
, proved that “Visceral fat, body weight and fat were reduced significantly in catechin group.”

Catechin-rich green tea can solve the problem of “how to reduce belly fat” as well. | Image courtesy: Pixabay

“Daily consumption of tea containing 690 mg catechins for 12 wk reduced body fat, which suggests that the ingestion of catechins might be useful in the prevention and improvement of lifestyle-related diseases, mainly obesity,” the researchers noted.

Catechins are antioxidant compounds and are associated with a variety of health benefits including weight loss, cardiovascular health and reduced risk of cancer.

So if you were wondering how to reduce belly fat, we hope these seven scientifically proven methods will become a part of your fat loss programme. Because according to science, they actually work!

Sources:
Prevention
,
WebMD
,
NCBI

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Husband always on phone: To the husband who can’t put his phone down to talk to his wife

One minute. All it took was one minute, maybe even less, to miss the precious moment your wife and child just shared. Your little boy just learned to use a straw! I saw it all. Your lovely wife making sipping motions with her lips, your boy trying it and not getting it right away, the split-second surprise of cold soda getting into his mouth, and finally, their glee at the discovery of this new skill.

I, a complete stranger, clapped right along with them from across the room, as your eyes stayed glued to your phone.

I’m not judging. It could be an important message for work or it could be a new level that you’re about to unlock on Clash of Clans. Whichever the case, I’m not going to raise my eyebrow at you, but I’m sad for you.

How many milestones have you missed? How many times has your son looked to you for approval or affirmation, only to be unseen? How many times has your wife had to repeat her question because you weren’t paying attention? How many times has the dinner lovingly prepared for you gone cold?

All these missed moments are chipping away at your family’s happiness.

I don’t know you, but I want you to know that your relationship with your phone is already hurting your relationship with your family.

I want you to know, because your wife and your little boy need you to put that phone down for one minute. Look at them. Talk to them. Hug them. Share a smile.

When your wife asks you for me-time instead of screen-time, it’s not nagging or a guilt-trip – it’s a cry for help. Heed it, because she needs you back.

Your Facebook feed can wait. Instead of catching up on everyone else’s adventures, make memories of your own.

Your Fantasy draft can wait. You’ll lose a round, but you’ll win admiration from your son.

Even your boss’s email can wait. Isn’t all the work you’re doing for your family, anyway?

Because if you keep letting your family wait, guess what you’re missing?

One lifetime. The one chance we get on Earth to be with the ones we love. The one chance you get at being husband and dad.

Every now and then, detach yourself from the virtual world and be present in this one, where your wife and son are sipping cold sodas and learning new songs everyday.

*This article was first published on
theAsianparent Philippines

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Nurturing Money Values: Understanding The Difference Between A Want And A Need

Nurturers believe that
teaching a child about money
 is a very important responsibility of being a parent. In fact, no other parent persona values the importance of money parenting more highly.

Nurturers are convinced that providing guidance and clear advice is vital and that it is important to teach their child proper values relating to money, like understanding the difference between a want and a need.

Importance Of Money Parenting

How They Teach About Money Matters

Nurturers are very disciplined with their own finances and have clear financial goals. They plan carefully, stick to a budget, and exercise great control over their spending. Nurturers pride themselves on their frugality and self-control.

They try to instil this same discipline and financial philosophy in their child. One way they do this is by providing their child with a money box to encourage savings. Nurturers are more likely to do this than other parent personas across Asia.

Nurturers actively guide their child’s spending habits to impart their own strong financial discipline and knowledge. They are happy to let their child learn through everyday experiences, but they are adamant that clear guidance is important if they are to learn how to save, budget, and grow money correctly.

Nurturers work as a team, because they believe that is what parenting is all about.

They believe that consistent, clear guidance is only possible if parents liaise closely and ensure they provide the same quality advice to their child. Nurturers are the most likely to say, “
Parental teamwork is the most important part of teaching a child about money management
”.

Their Money Parenting Goals

Nurturers do whatever they can to ensure that their child develops a sophisticated knowledge of money management and learns how to grow money. They strive to give the child the best possible start in life.

To help them, Nurturers maximise their child’s income and build a family ‘nest egg’. Nurturers are more likely than most other parents to own an investment property, stocks for their child, and have a Life Insurance policy — in addition to their own home, savings accounts, mutual funds and bonds.

Yes, Nurturers are financially savvy, and they want their child to be the same!

The children of Nurturers are also more likely to get money from many other sources: parents, family, and from investments made for them by their parents.

Maybe this is why the children of Nurturers are a little
less likely
 to earn money by doing a part-time job compared to other children.

Their Money Parenting Success

After all this effort, do Nurturers think that they have done a good job of money parenting? Has their child learned and benefitted in the way that they had hoped?

Half of Nurturers think that they have done a good job. The other half think that they have done the best they could, but are not sure if it was good enough.

Most Nurturers believe their child already saves most of their money and spends a little, so they feel satisfied that their money parenting efforts are already paying off.

How Well They Know Money

Parents who are Nurturers believe they have the financial knowledge and skills to be effective teachers. They rate their own financial skills much more highly than most parents.

They are therefore not overly interested in gaining more financial knowledge, but they do want more reassurance about their money parenting teaching techniques.

Nurturers really want to know what the most successful techniques are to teach a child money management.

They want to know what other parents are doing, and they would like TV programmes or apps that can assist their child and improve their knowledge and money handling skills. They also want to know if there are enrichment programmes for their child or workshops that they can all attend.

Money parenting is a serious matter for Nurturers.

If you are a Nurturer who is curious about how other parents are money parenting, check out our
#MoneyParenting site
 or subscribe to our newsletter to stay updated with our latest content.

Still unsure of your Money Parenting style? Check out our
quiz here
 to find out more!

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Stillbirth: What Should I Do if My Baby is Kicking Less?

There are perhaps very few experiences that are comparable with the joys of experiencing your baby kick and move within your tummy! From the very moment of conception, it is something every pregnant mother years to feel and is among one of the more memorable aspects of pregnancy. However, paying attention to your baby’s kicks and counting them, particularly in your third trimester, further acts as a life-saving practice that has been linked to
lowered risks of experiencing stillbirth
 and a tragic end to the pregnancy you worked so hard to sustain. Keeping a daily record of your baby’s kicks helps you form patterns and alerts you when you may experience decreased fetal movement third trimester.

Experts recommend that pregnant mothers start counting kicks
 in the 28th week of their pregnancy, or at 26 weeks if you are high risk or pregnant with multiples.

Despite a pregnancy progressing along smoothly and without much complication, even normal pregnancies can sometimes turn problematic, and usually active babies can also experience distress. This can sometimes happen quickly and without other warning signs except for decreased activity in the womb.

Pregnant mums should always pay attention to decreased fetal movement third trimester. Photo: iStock

Decreased fetal movement third trimester

How often should my baby move?

Fetal ‘kicks’ refer to any baby movement in the womb. The type of movements may change as the pregnancy progresses, and can feel like anything from a flutter, to a kick, swish, roll, jab and sometimes even punch!

While every baby is different and there is no set number of “normal” movements you should be experiencing, maintaining a daily record of kicks gives you an idea of usual patterns and alerts you to any decreased fetal movement that you may experience in the third trimester. In general, in the last trimester of your pregnancy, you should (on average) feel around 10 movements from your baby within an hour.

You should generally feel your baby move more and experience regular kicking anywhere from 18 – 24 weeks. Your baby’s movements are usually regulated after 32 weeks, and will stay roughly the same until delivery. Contrary to popular belief, it is not true that babies move less towards the end of pregnancy, and you should experience movement until labour and throughout the delivery as well.

Feeling your baby move within your tummy is a sign that everything is going smoothly and that he/she is well. Any changes in usual movement patterns often indicate warning signs that a baby is unwell, and may sometimes mean that the fetus is in distress. Observing your baby’s movements is important as this can lead to getting help at the right time and may save your baby’s life.

Decreased fetal movement third trimester: What should I do if baby’s movements reduce?

While every pregnancy is different and unique, most pregnant mums note that they first become aware of their baby’s movements between weeks 16 – 24 of pregnancy.

However, if you haven’t felt movement within your womb by 24 weeks of pregnancy, you should contact your healthcare provider who will check your baby’s heartbeat and perform an ultrasound to check on the baby’s wellness.

Doctors will usually perform an ultrasound to check on your baby’s wellbeing. Photo: iStock

Decreased fetal movement third trimester: Between weeks 24 and 28

Between your 24th to the 28th week of your pregnancy,
anything out of the ordinary with regard to your baby’s movements
 should be reported to your doctor, and you should preferably see you on the same day if possible.

Any decreased fetal movement experienced at the point in your pregnancy requires your baby’s heartbeat to be checked, as well as a full routine check-up that should include:

Measuring your bump to check the size of your baby

Checking your blood pressure

Performing tests on your urine to check for protein content

You will also usually have an ultrasound scan performed, especially if your baby is smaller than expected.

Experiencing decreased movements could mean that your baby is unwell, but most women who have reported an episode of decreased movements usually progress along with a straightforward pregnancy and healthy baby. It is imperative though that you receive medical help to ensure the safety of your baby.

Over 28 weeks of pregnancy

Any episodes of decreased activity after 28 weeks of pregnancy should be reported immediately, and you must visit a doctor as soon as possible. Do not wait a day to see if the situation is resolved and is back to normal, or even delay a few hours in reporting decreased fetal movement as this can be injurious to the safety of your baby. Your doctor will want to be notified immediately of any changes you are experiencing.

You will usually be sent to the maternity unit to have some tests performed that may include:

Report on baby’s movements

An antenatal check-up, including checking your baby’s heartbeat and measuring the size of your bump.

Monitoring of your baby’s heart rate using a cardiotocography machine (CTG), usually for at least 20 minutes.

An ultrasound scan

You should not be discharged until your baby’s movements have been regulated and you note usual patterns in your baby’s kicks.

Your baby’s heart rate will be monitored to check for any irregularities and warning signs that something may be wrong. Photo: iStock

What should I do if my baby’s movements reduce again upon being discharged?

After an episode of medical monitoring for an episode of decreased movement, you will be discharged when everything goes back to normal again. You will however need to keep a careful eye on your baby’s movements and report any decrease or change immediately, regardless of how often that happens.

It must be emphasised here that you need to report any and all change immediately to your healthcare providers without any fear of being a “nuisance” or a “bother” to hospital staff.

Do not try to take matters into your own hand and engage in the use of devices such as a home doppler, hand-held monitors, or phone apps to check on your baby at home. It does not mean that your baby is well even if you detect a heartbeat. You will need to be monitored by a cardiotocography machine or a medical professional who can interpret the baby’s heartbeat, and any treatment that could save your baby needs to be done when the baby has a heartbeat.

Do not try to make your baby move. If you think your baby’s movements have slowed down, stopped or changed contact your hospital or maternity unit immediately.

This article has been republished with permission from
theAsianparent Singapore
.

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The 3-minute rule to create stronger bonds with kids according to a psychologist

When you think of bonding activities for parents and kids, you automatically think of many hours of playtime or meals together with your little ones. Indeed, creating that bond between parent and child is so important at many levels: love, security, communication are just a few of the connections that are established.

And as important as things like play and mealtimes together are, psychologists say that bonding between kids and their parents can also happen in as little as three minutes. Have you heard of the 3-minute rule, mums and dads?

The ‘3-minute’ Rule, according to a psychologist

As parents, we’re constantly “busy”, whether it is with taking care of our kids or working. Usually both… and some more.

If we’re working, that leaves us with even less precious time to spend with our kids. When we do get to finally spend time with them, are we fully present? Is there anything we’re missing out on?

There could be indeed something — and it could be the most
important
 part of your day.

According to Psychologist Nataliya Sirotich, head of the Center of Work with Children and Youth, there is a precious 3-minute ritual that not many parents perform with their child.

The rule of 3 minutes says that when you return home, you focus fully on your child for at least 3 minutes. And you have to do this without fail, every day.

It is a simple yet effective way that helps to improve family relations. By following this rule, Sirotich says that a child learns to be totally secure with parents. The child’s trust could even be carried on till they become teenagers.

Mums and dads, this may also be applicable if you have gone out of the house on chores like a department store.

Bonding Activities For Parent And Child: How To Manage These 3 Minutes Correctly?

It’s not simply just sharing that 3 minutes with your child. There are some important things to note, of course.

1. Position yourself at the same eye level

As you spend those 3 minutes in the presence of your child, ensure that you are at the same eye level as him or her.

Whether it’s sitting on a sofa or on the floor with your child standing or sitting down beside you, maintaining that same eye level is crucial.

Bonding activities for parent and child: a reminder to be at eye level with them. |  Source: File photo

2. Observe the 3-minute rule when picking your child up from school

This is especially important when you’re fetching your little one from the kindergarten. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them so why not just simply spend 3 minutes: hug them and gently ask them to share more about their day in school and what they did.

Don’t downplay the importance of small talk here because a child can feel as though they are not being heard if you don’t focus on them. The interactions you have with them are extremely important to them.

Your eager little ones can’t help but feel excited to share whatever that is going on in their minds when they see you, according to Sirotich. You are his/ her greatest friend!

Protip:
Follow up on what they tell you by asking specific questions about it. Never shrug them off.

3. What you should never do

You should never ignore fully focussing these 3 minutes on your child after a period of not being with them. When you don’t dedicate time to your child, they might stop placing importance on their own daily experiences.

It could come off to them as though you are disinterested and in the future, they could even grow up thinking that they should keep things to themselves.

3. Of course, don’t to take it literally

The ‘3-minute’ rule simply means taking the extra effort to
spend at least 3 minutes
 fully focused on  your child, so that they can tell you the most important things the moment they see you.

Credits: Pixabay

Bonding Activities For Parent and Child To Create Better Bond of Understanding

There are other things you can do to create a better bond with your child, according to
Psychologists
.

1. Engage in mutual interests with your child

The key here is letting them know that you are interested in spending time together with them and partaking in activities together. It could be as simple as playing a game, cooking or some DIY projects!

During this time, focus on them and being with them. Everything else can wait.

2. Letting your child know that they can always talk and confide in you

Mums and dads, it’s important to practice active listening when speaking with your child.

Besides just taking in what they have to say, your child needs to know that you have understood them perfectly. How will that benefit you in the long term?

They will grow up understanding your role as a figure of authority and a loving place for support. You can also be sure that they can count on you anytime if they have anything to say or reveal. What’s more, you can expect that this behaviour will most likely carry on in teen life.
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3. Be genuine, do away with the fake excitement

Sometimes, you might not identify with whatever your child may be expressing to you.

In your attempt to respond to your kid appropriately, the key is to always come from a genuine place. Kids are way smarter than you think. And some are able to catch on when you are faking it.

Protip:
 Revisit the conversation that they both of you have, as it reinforces in your child that you have indeed listened and took in what he or she said.

Consequences Of Ignoring Your Child

It doesn’t mean that if you don’t practice the 3 minute rule, you are ignoring your child. But not observing this 3 minute rule could manifest in other ways as your child grows older.

Cultivating a closed nature — they could withdraw into their own shell

You’re seen to be not with them in times of need and when they get older, they will find less reason to speak with you.

They could be reluctant or see no need to share important details of their lives with you.

The effects of paying extra attention to the little details are long-lasting. The key is always consistency and showing that you’re with your kids every step of the way.

Source:
Zeptha
,
American Psychological Association

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4 Tips to Improve Your Child’s Attention Span and Focus

Do you sometimes feel that when it comes to getting your child to do homework, you wished you could close all doors and windows and make a room small and still enough for your child to sit still, focus and get all of his or her homework done without being distracted? Have you been getting complaints from your child’s teacher about his or her inability to pay attention in class?

This is quite a common scenario in every household; no matter the age of your child, children from the age of preschool level to university level have trouble focusing. With the added distractions of modern technology, even adults complain of getting distracted easily.

4 Techniques How to Help a Child Focus

So how do you get your child to focus long enough for him or her to complete their schoolwork? Here are some things you can do to help your child focus better.

#1. Time and Location

While sitting on a bed may be a comfortable place to do homework, you will most definitely find your child asleep in the next few minutes.

The same goes for homework in front of the TV. Sitting in a distracting place will not help a child pay attention to the task at hand. Create a conducive environment, away from distractions for your child to work or study.

Studies have shown that having a clutter-free workspace with a comfortable chair and good lighting helps children focus better. For young children especially, make sure that the amount of time he or she spends doing homework, extra work or study is realistic.

Expecting a 6-year-old to sit and do Math problems for an hour is pushing it a bit too much. Make study time little pockets of time. Let your child achieve a task in 20 minutes and then have a five to ten-minute break.

This way, you will have fewer complaints from your child and at the same time get him or her to complete what needs to be done.

#2. How to help a child focus: One Task at a Time

A child is not yet able to multi-task as some adults do. When you expect your child to face multiple tasks, he or she will tend to shut down even before getting started. Kids are not able to manage their executive functions when faced with a row of things to do, all at the same time.

Instead of giving your child a list of things to be done, how to help a child focus is by try working with him or her on a task at one time. For example, instead of asking your preschool child to complete the tracing of A to F, get him or her to finish A first before going on to B and C.

This way, your child’s brain absorbs one thing at a time and retains it better too.

#3. How to help a child focus: Rewards and Recognition

Everyone needs motivation. Adults find better bonus makes them work harder at work. A better commission makes us push for more sales. Kids too need constant motivation. For younger children of preschool age, setting up a rewards chart almost always work wonders. Include plenty of details in the reward system.

Every time your child completes homework within a stipulated time, he or she should be able to add a sticker to the chart. You can add on things like mealtimes, extra activity time, bedtime and anything else that require your child to focus for a certain period of time. Be careful not to forget the rewards though, as children can get very upset if they don’t get anything after doing so much!

I usually tell my kids that each sticker is worth 50 cents or a dollar, and when they collect a minimum of 20 stickers, they can redeem them for money and treat themselves to whatever they like. Try to encourage them from a young age to spend a percentage of their rewards on the less fortunate.

You get to kill two birds with one stone this way; teaching your child empathy from a young age in this way goes a long way in creating the personality of a child.

#4. Be Patient

It cannot be easy accomplishing a task when you are dealing with a fidgety and distracted child. Your patience level will be tested, sometimes in ways, you can’t imagine.

However, if you allow yourself to lose your temper easily, your child will be even more distracted. He or she may think it is alright for them to get angry too. Yelling or worse still, spanking your child will not get you anywhere.

Gather all the patience you have, try to look for creative ways to make your child interested in doing his or her work and study and above all, breathe.

There will be times when you feel like blowing your top off, but this wouldn’t work, for the more you’re angry, the more your child will shut you out, or worse, hates studying.

It’s important to remember that children who struggle with their attention span don’t usually do it on purpose. They need help, so give them your full support, attention, encouragement, but never your impatience.

This article has been republished with permission from
Kiddy123
.

Disclaimer: You are not allowed to share this article on any other website or on Facebook without providing proper credit and the original article link on
theAsianparent Malaysia website

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How to Exercise the Left and Right Side of the Brain | Brain Training

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Read more:

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What happens to children whose parents are addicted to smartphones

In today’s generation, it’s hard for both children and adults to look away from their smartphones.

Researchers have heavily documented the negative effects of digital addiction to young people.
Other than
physical repercussions
 such as joint aches and pains, vision problems, too much screen time can also give rise to aggression. Loss of social skills in kids is also common.

“If your teens would prefer gaming indoors, alone, as opposed to going out to the movies, meeting friends for burgers or any of the other ways that teens build camaraderie, you may have a problem,” connectivity expert Holland Haiis says in her book
Consciously Connecting: A Simple Process to Reconnect in a Disconnected World
.

However, she also said that technological addiction isn’t exclusive to young people: it can affect people of all ages.

In fact, smartphone addicted parents can even be more harmful to children.

When parents are addicted to smartphones

According to a study, parents who are on their phone while attending to their children make them feel neglected. Not only that, children may even feel that they’re in competition against the device.

Child development specialist Dr. Jenny Radesky of Boston Medical Center conducted the study after she noticed parents ignoring their kids in favour of a mobile device.

“Upon completing her research, Radesky concludes that kids who have parents eaten up by their phones are more likely to be attention-seekers,” said a
Parent Herald
 report. “And these kids’ life get screwed up later in life.”

Echoing Dr. Redesky’s findings, Catherine Steiner-Adair, author of
Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age
, she said that such parents are also more irritable. They tend to snap at their children when distracted from their devices.

As a result, these children increase efforts to get their parents’ attention, becoming more silly and rowdy. They also get irritated easily as well.

Parents need to be particularly careful not to succumb to addiction during children’s first seven years of life. This period is crucial to children’s development.

“What a parent gives to the child during this period should be of utmost consideration,” Parent Herald says. “Love is the ultimate ingredient and for some kids, it is expressed by uninterrupted time for them.”

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Going Ramadan Shopping? Here Are 9 Things You Need In Your List

Ramadan is a month that’s meant to refresh the body, mind and soul. Choosing the right food for your Iftar or Sahur keeps you energetic, hydrated, and much happier during the day and throughout the month.

However, in our hunger we usually end up eating lots of fried foods or highly processed foods, which can not only have you put on a few extra kilos during the month , but also often will leave you bloated, thirsty, cranky and feeling unhealthy throughout the day. In order to prepare for a happier Ramadan month, we’ve put together a healthy shopping guide that helps you shop and plan your meal. So, here’s our selection of the top 10 food items to have in your shopping list. Happy Ramadan!

Dates

Dates are an integral part of this month; luckily for us, the dates found in the Middle East are among the best. They are a good source of vitamins, minerals, energy, sugar, and fibre. It’s customary to break fast with a date and it is advised to eat them at sahur. Dates might be tiny in size but pack a punch as it is able to keep you satiated for longer than you would expect and they’re also a good option for satisfying your sweet tooth. Among the many varieties of dates, Ajwa – dubbed as “dates from paradise” – found mostly in Saudi Arabia, is good for protection against heart ailments and an excellent option for both sahur and breaking your fast.

Barley

Barley is a very affordable heart-friendly ancient grain and has almost the identical components of oats. This means that it is not only high in fibre, but also rich in folate, B6 and potassium. Minerals like phosphate, calcium, manganese, magnesium, phosphorus, iron and zinc benefits bone structure and strength. Get creative with this grain and consume it as a drink, in soups and stews and as a salad ingredient.

Soy and soy products

Vegans rejoice
! Where most plants lack one or two essential amino acids, this is the only plant source, which is a complete protein as it contains all 9 essential amino acids. It’s low in saturated fat and helps lower cholesterol level by increasing HDL levels. Consume fermented soy products like tempeh and natto to boost micro gut flora.

The only debate when it comes to soy is the potential effect from the phytoestrogen, which mimics the structure and function of the female hormone, oestrogen that it contains. Feminisation and the effect on female fertility make us wary of consuming too much soy. However, studies have proven that the effect is subtle and only occurs when high amounts are eaten.

Hummus

This simple dip is made out of chickpeas, olive oil, lemon juice and salt, but for some added ‘omph’ it can also be mixed with avocado, sweet potato, garlic etc. You can buy it ready-made in supermarkets but make sure you read the label to see what’s inside. Alternatively, you can make your own; we have an awesome healthy
 Hummus recipe here
. This savoury dip is delicious and irresistible, and is easy to eat; it goes well with your wholemeal bread, vegetable sticks etc. It is packed with plant protein and good fat and dense with nutrients to help you to get through your Ramadan period easily.

Leafy greens

Just because it’s Ramadan, doesn’t mean that you stop eating your greens. They’re packed with vitamins, minerals and plenty of fibre. Leafy greens are also very refreshing and calming for your stomach after a long day of fasting. Be creative so you don’t feel like eating a salad is a chore.

Root vegetables

Roots are some of the most nutrient-dense vegetables in the world. While each root contains its own set of health benefits, they share many of the same characteristics. Yams, beets, parsnips, turnips, rutabagas, carrots, yuca, kohlrabi, onions, garlic, celery root (or celeriac), horseradish, daikon, turmeric, jicama, Jerusalem artichokes, radishes, and ginger are all considered roots.

Because root vegetables grow underground, they absorb a great amount of nutrients from the soil. They are packed with a high concentration of antioxidants, Vitamins C, B, A, and iron, helping to cleanse your system. They are also filled with slow-burning carbohydrates and fibre, which make you feel full, and help regulate your blood sugar and digestive system. It is great to use root vegetables for soup. Warm soup is something nice to break fast with; it warms the digestive system, and makes you feel grounded and settled.

Deep sea fish

Fish is among the healthiest foods you can eat. It’s filled with good fats and protein, and has been shown to fight heart disease, boost brain health, and more. Especially deep sea fish such as salmon, trout, cod and sardines that are rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, which are excellent for the brain, the heart and various other parts of the body.

High fibre fruits

Fruits are a universal healthy food, it is high in fibre and enzyme, it keeps you hydrated, helps in digestion, prevents constipation and it is also very refreshing for your body. But be careful with the selection as some fruits are high in fructose, and may not be a good thing if overly consumed during Ramadan. So go for low fructose and high fibre fruits such as: apples, pears, pineapples, green guavas, berries, papayas, dragon fruits, watermelons, and coconuts. Avoid high sugar fruits such as mangos, grapes, lychees, and durians.

Nuts and seeds

Nuts and seeds such as almonds, walnuts, pistachios, pecans, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and peanuts all contain a host of healthful nutrients. Just a handful packs a powerful punch of vitamins, minerals and fats, all of which work together to affect your heart, your brain and your waistline. Just one ounce a day can diminish inflammation and provide satiating fibre, protein and immune-boosting minerals.

Consume a variety of nuts and seeds, as it gives you different flavours that can satisfy your taste buds. The good thing about nuts and seeds is you can use them in many ways; add texture to smoothies or pureed soups, or add ground flaxseeds directly to your meal, or soak other nuts and seeds until they soften and blend it with your food. Or make your own flavoured nuts and seeds for snacks by adding spices. Alternatively, use nuts and seeds as a topping for casseroles, hot or cold cereals, soups, salads or in wraps or sandwiches.

We hope that this list will help you have a healthy and energised Ramadan.

This article has been republished with permission from
PurelyB.

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City Lights and Coastal Breeze Destinations Appeal to Malaysian Families in 2023

 Asian metropolises brimming with entertainment for all ages are the most coveted destinations for Malaysian families seeking adventures abroad this year, with Thai cities Hat Yai and Bangkok leading the pack, followed by Singapore, Tokyo, and Taipei.

According to search data from digital travel platform Agoda for travel in 2023, seven of the ten most searched international destinations for families were for populous urban cities. Tropical beach paradises are also on the minds of travelers, with Phuket (#6), Bali (#7) and Krabi (#8) placing among the top searched family destinations.

Meanwhile, domestic cult favorites with time-tested delights are once again the choice picks for Malaysians looking to create family memories locally, with Kuala Lumpur (#1), Penang (#2) and Malacca (#3) retaining their luster as the best city escapes. The appeal of fresh-air diversions like Cameron Highlands (#5) and Genting Highlands (#10) are also noticeably enticing for family holiday-goers within Malaysia.

“Malaysians value family time, and travel offers fantastic opportunities for families to strengthen their bonds while indulging in new food, sights, and sounds,” said Cleland Robertson, Country Director Malaysia and Brunei at Agoda. “Planning vacations with large groups of varying ages and budgets can be a challenge. Which is why at Agoda, we have done our best to make the booking journey as seamless as possible with accommodations, flight, and activities all at the click of a button.”

When families travel together, there is no one-size-fits-all for the type of place to stay. Some families are looking for Agoda Homes which offer kitchens or extra living space to cater for family groups, while others prefer a hotel with kids’ clubs, babysitting or family friendly adjoining rooms. Agoda’s hassle-free booking experience caters to all – helping all family travelers find the ideal hotel or homestay for their trip.

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CARSOME Launches its ‘Women Take the Wheel’ Initiative to Improve the Car Ownership Experience for Women

In conjunction with International Women’s Day, Southeast Asia’s largest integrated car e-commerce platform, CARSOME, has announced its
Women Take the Wheel
 initiative to be rolled out in Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand in line with the company’s commitment to be more inclusive across all its touchpoints with society.

According to CARSOME data, the number of female car buyers has risen by more than 308% in 2022 compared to the previous year. In response to feedback
 from its female customers on their needs and challenges when purchasing pre-owned cars, the
Women Take The Wheel
 initiative aims to empower female car buyers with a differentiated experience and offerings, taking into consideration their request to be educated and guided especially in the technical and process-related aspects of car buying during the early stages.

CARSOME Group President & Chief Financial Officer, Juliet Zhu said: “We’ve heard the feedback of our female customers and recognize the challenges they face throughout their car ownership journey. In addition to providing trust, transparency and choice through our digitized car buying and selling experience, ‘Women Take the Wheel’ is our way of supporting women in making informed and confident decisions.

“This is just the beginning, and we are excited to work with our women customers to bring more benefits in the months ahead. It is also indicative of our long-term dedication towards driving a more inclusive environment for more balanced representation in the automotive industry. We hope what we have built today will become a baseline tomorrow to continue advocating for women.”

As part of the
Women Take the Wheel
 initiative, CARSOME will be piloting an elevated customer experience in Malaysia for women with 11 customer specialists at selected Inspection and Experience Centers including PJ Automall, Kepong, Kelana Jaya, Puchong, Klang, Seremban, Melaka, Skudai, Ipoh and Bayan Lepas.

These consultants will support and guide female customers to provide them with a seamless experience right from the test drive to car ownership, after which customers will be able to access convenient after sales support through CARSOME’s digital touchpoints.

The program also kicked-off with a 30-day money-back guarantee for female customers, first of such offering in the industry and free 1 month life insurance from Fi Life, one of CARSOME’s partners in the
Women Take the Wheel
initiative. This will be applicable during the campaign period from 8 – 31 March 2023.

Parents will also be able to benefit from a Children’s Corner, which is being piloted at PJ Automall. Based on the reception and feedback, CARSOME will continue to refine and enhance these initiatives aimed at providing a friendlier experience for customers.

At the launch of the
Women Take The Wheel
 initiative, Juliet sat down with digital entrepreneurs Malek Ali, Founder of BFM and Fi Life; Sherry Sheriff, Co-founder of Wahine Capital; as well as Vanessa Gomes, Senior Writer at Digital Edge for a fireside chat titled ‘Elevating the Women Consumer Experience’.

As the digital revolution sweeping across Asia changes how people access and navigate significant life decisions such as investment, insurance and automotive purchases, the discussion was focused on how businesses can better anticipate the needs of women and cater to them more meaningfully.

Female customers hoping to take advantage of these offers can head over to the CARSOME Autofair 2023 from 17 to 19 March 2023 at CARSOME PJ Automall. All CARSOME Certified cars booked during the Autofair will be eligible for discounts of up to RM8,000, two-years’ worth of warranty and many other free gifts.

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