text: 1. Aliens resemble plush toys and hand puppets, while having arms that don't function.<br /><br />2. Aliens mastered intergalactic space travel, but they don't know how to push an unlocked vault door open, yet can push open a door being held shut by five people.<br /><br />3. Old Security Guards know how to get a hold of C4, and are just waiting for the right time to use it, say, when they are suddenly fired for no explainable reason.<br /><br />4. Apparently, US Army boot camp, in the 80's, involved several sessions of "garden tool combat", including the pirouette spin of death.<br /><br />5. To impress your prudish girl friend, you have to "save the world...err...neighborhood" from aliens.<br /><br />6. All women are sluts, either openly or secretly.<br /><br />7. Scummy night clubs look like bad diners.<br /><br />8. "Scummy" waitresses double as dancers for The Fontanelles (how did they get talked into this?) who can only do bad 60's dance moves.<br /><br />9. Army privates secretly dream of being Rambo.<br /><br />10. Grenades apparently have a setting for "flash-bang". <br /><br />11. Being burned alive apparently only leaves one with minor burns on their arms.<br /><br />12. US Army Staff Sargeants apparently happen to always be in the area and do nothing about aliens in the area.<br /><br />13. Aliens apparently always "go home", which means back to the vault they were un-locked in.<br /><br />14. Aliens are attracted to bright lights, which apparently means in the Los Angeles area one would assume, the protagonist's house is the most brightly lit thing in the area.<br /><br />15. Showing 16 parking scenes in a movie makes the audience clamor for more.<br /><br />16. Vans from the 80's apparently have horrible suspension systems.<br /><br />17. Comedy is supposed to happen in this film.<br /><br />18. Horror is supposed to happen in this film.<br /><br />19. Spoofs and homages are supposed to happen in this film.<br /><br />20. This film cures insomnia.<br /><br />21. Apparently, garden tools make electronic keyboard noises whenever they are used, not just in fights (tell me I'm not the only one who noticed this).<br /><br />The simply truth is this film just came out wrong. Period. There isn't much meat on the bone, nor does it do anything really well. Even average. It's just bad. However, I've seen far worse, and the rake fight scene is pure comedy gold, intentional or otherwise.<br /><br />2/10 - Jaws 4 was worse then this. At least the film never took itself seriously.