text: Note to self- just because a film is foreign, obscure, and stars Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn't mean it's any good. Such is the case with 'Blue Juice,' a 1995 Brit flick about an unlikely group of surfing enthusiasts in what would seem (to a dumb American, anyway) an even more unlikely place to find surfers: Cornwall, England. You might be thinking this has the makings for an amusing, quirky little comedy. If only. The film is just a bit over ninety minutes but it seems interminable. The easiest way to describe it is as a sort of '90's British version of 'Grease' without the dancing, but even that makes it sound better than it is. No, the best way to take it is as a little slice-of-life set in a small town. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays Chloe, a young woman living with a surfing instructor, JC (Sean Pertwee; you remember him). Pertwee is actually the film's star, and his character is something of a surfing legend to a small group of surfing devotees, the requisite oddball group of free spirits that inevitably inhabit films like this. In this case, it consists of a drug dealer who wants to be a journalist, a former nightclub dj who wants to be a record producer, and a fat nerdy guy who, in a needlessly extended scene, gets stoned and loses all his inhibitions which of course turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. I can't honestly say everything that goes on in 'Blue Juice' is predictable, since it's set in a place and reflects customs and manners I'm not very familiar with, but there's certainly nothing surprising or even interesting that takes place there or with the characters. The comedy, though, IS very predictable and tired. One can sense the set-ups a mile away and almost recite the dialogue (in American form, of course) before the actors do. The relationship between JC and Chloe is every bit as hackneyed. She wants him to grow up; he wants them to stay the impetuous teenagers they started out being. He's afraid of losing face with his gang; she thinks he prefers them to her. You get the idea. As I struggled to stay focused on 'Blue Juice,' toward the end I felt, as the saying goes, that this was an hour and half of my life I'd never get back.