She loves it here, admits it now in her heart, but there is also something in her, watching, that feels not a part of. A self-consciousness, as though she herself is making the sort of docu Tessa wanted to make, some inner version of all the product Carson coordinated for Real One. Like she's back, but she isn't. Like she's become something else in the meantime, without noticing, and now she's watching herself being here.