"Because I’m a little bit hurt that no one’s ever told me about it, if there is. What if I’d needed to drown someone in fermenting sheep shit? You know, after hours? Because obviously I can get sheep shit during the day, I mean, who fucking can’t? But what if I’d had a sheep shit emergency and, just because no one mentioned to me about the wanker shop, I couldn’t drown this person at all and I had to wait until the next day and, you know, the urge had passed off? Because that would have been a tragedy. Do you have to be on the wanker email list, or is it one of those paper mailshots that comes through the door every so often? You know: carpenter can make you shelves, handsy guitar teacher ten quid an hour, and by the way here’s where you can get fucking pig’s blood to throw in someone’s fucking face at fucking midnight. Because if there’s a wanker shop I’m going in there right now and I’m buying all their stock and I am going to the police station and I am going to drown that little fuck right fucking now!"