I took a deep breath. Where to start? If the Catholic god did exist, he’d need gigapulses of memory to upload everything I had to say. Since my last confession I must have committed dozens of mortal sins and hundreds of venial sins. I hadn’t attended Mass or taken Communion since I was thirteen. Not to mention that I’d gone through a period of trying out different churches in my early twenties—of worshipping "strange gods before thee."