Desperately, I try to re-exert control, willing my fingers to stop trembling. Carefully—oh so carefully—I put my thumb back on the mini-trackball and start scanning slowly and carefully through the text. I’m near the beginning of the TIC entry, and I’m pretty sure I was scanning backward when it happened, so I scroll slowly forward through the text. I’m not trying to read every word—that’d numb my mind out for sure—but I am trying to make sure my eyes pass over every line. If my subconscious jumped up and yelled, "Here, you dumb frag," once before, maybe it’ll do it again. Where is it ... where is it ... ?