"I had to do this, because he’s my little brother, and he was in really bad trouble, and I felt sure he was going to die." Jane was surprised at how much it hurt her to say that, at how much real pain and sense of failure she felt at the thought of Alex dead. She’d resented Alex for as long as she could remember, and in rescuing him, she’d thought she was doing something tiresome and familial and obligatory. But at the thought of Alex dead, she felt a slow burn of deep unsuspected emotion, a tidal surge of murky grief and panic. She wasn’t being entirely frank with Jerry. Well, it wasn’t exactly the first time.