Seriously: learn to use the Do Not Disturb function on your telephone. Get some self-control or some appetites and build some positive lifestyle habits, okay? Because right now, with my head hanging off the back bench of the driver’s cab and the leatherette half sticking to and half scratching my cheek where the bag is sliding up—or down, because I’m not sure which way is which—I am pleased to be able to inform you, sir or madam, with your copious other options and your risk-free environment, that if you think being kidnapped is in any way cool you are a total asshole.