But now look at me. Not only am I a character in my own story, but my only real topic so far is "narrative structure." I can’t stand it when postmodern critics talk about stories in terms like "narrative structure." These hardhat deconstruction-workers harass stories as if they were gals passing by on the sidewalk. They yell out stuff that’s not only obnoxious, but completely bizarre and impenetrable. It’s like they yell: "Hey, check out the pelvic bio-mechanics on that babe! What a set of hypertrophied lactiferous tissues!"