She hit the floor, paralyzed. Cascading memories ricocheted through her. A baby, a child, her daddy—she loved him, she hated him. Paulie with her, now in a school, now in a cell. Her life as a runner, the skinny kid who could find a way. Across the frozen Hudson on skis, across the shuttered Manhattan Bridge clipped to the back of the last post train. Taking Paulie’s drug deal, the beating that put her in the Marines. Basic training—so hard to the rich kids, so easy to her. The wall, shooting dopes with a sniper rifle from miles away. Mars, the moles, the tunnels, the killing. The NYPD, Toko, a barbecue, making love to Conner after a long night, thinking she was pregnant and wishing she was. Julia, love, betrayal, torture. Her hand—it wasn’t real anymore. That was important, focus on that; what did it mean?