He's such a stiff, John Hackworth is Can't show emotion to save his life With nasty repercussions, viz He lost his job and lost his wife. So now he's on a goshdarn Quest Wandering all o'er the world Hunting down that Alchemist 'Cept when he stops to pick up girls. Maybe he'll clean up his act And do the job tonight A fabulous adventure packed With marvelous sounds and sights Let's get it on, oh Hacker John Let's get it on, on, on.