But I must have had a plan if I had this submarine ready and waiting. Unless I created it spontaneously and now I’m kidding myself. When you drown, sometimes you have what’s called a laryngospasm. Your throat closes autonomically, refusing to inhale water. If it doesn’t unlock, you can die of asphyxiation even after someone pulls you from the sea. Perhaps that’s happening to me: this whole situation is my brain’s equivalent of a laryngospasm, post-justified by false memories.