'If you take the Rev.'s urine and pour off the fluid and examine what remains under the Microscope, you will see a hoard of jewels that would make the Great Mogul swoon. At lower magnification it seems nothing more than a heap of gravel, but with a better lens, and brighter light, it is revealed as a mountain of crystals – plates, rhomboids, rectangles, squares – white and yellow and red ones, gleaming like the diamonds in a courtier's ring.'