"In related news . . . the whereabouts of LA Sabers’ star linebiker, Jonathon Winger, is still unknown, but an unidentified source claims he attended the private funeral of teammate Tamara Ny in the Shasta Lake area of the Northern Crescent today. Coach Kalish of the Sabers had no comment about Winger’s ability to play in the upcoming final match against the New Orleans Buzzsaws for the world championship."