"We’re broke," I tell him, knowing that’s not what he meant. "We let the Americans sell us some very bad pigs in some very large pokes, and we spent two and a half billion euros on a network of Internet-capable public toilets because someone’s brother-in-law built them. Whatever. Some of it was our fault, a lot of it wasn’t. We’re a little bit unwilling to pay taxes and to be honest we’ve been living on non-existent money since ’94, but that makes us no different than the rest of Europe except that when the music stopped we not only did not have a chair, we were in the corner playing doctor with the pretty one from science class. When Portugal falls over on its arse, we’ll be last year’s news."