Let me tell you, I was not this guy when I was at school. Okay? I really was not. I was on the outside looking in. You know what principally determines that, among boys at school? Football. I had never watched a football match when I arrived, and although they didn’t know it and I didn’t know it, that meant I was fucked as far as the other kids were concerned. I did not speak the common language. This is my advice to parents: teach your son the language of football, at least in some measure, so that he knows enough to parlay with the enemy.