"That's what it should be.  But that's what I slowly grokked it rarely was.  Instead it was indifference and acts mechanically performed and rape and seduction as a game no better than roulette but with poorer odds and prostitution and celibacy by choice and by no choice and fear and guilt and hatred and violence and children brought up to think that sex was 'bad' and 'shameful' and 'animal' and something to be hidden and always distrusted.  This lovely perfect thing, male-femaleness, turned upside down and inside out and made horrible.