He thought about the times Larisa had argued with him, trying to persuade him to leave the biz, get out of shadowrunning. He remembered only too vividly how abandoned he'd felt when she’d left him, and how that had evoked all the baggage he’d carried with him from the Council lands into his mother’s home and beyond. Thinking about all that had happened tonight while dodging and fleeing and fighting for his fife, he realized how closed-in he’d kept his world. The people he was now depending on were ones he’d deliberately kept at arm’s length. He suddenly realized how little he knew about them, how little he knew about anyone in his life. The insight trickled through his mind like cold mercury.