I always looked forward to my next conversation with my mom, using those prearranged signals where she’d call from one of the casinos. Sometimes Gram would be with her. Those calls were so important to me, making me feel happy inside and giving me strength, though they were a great inconvenience to my family and a huge risk for me, should the Feds decide to step up their surveillance. It was hard not being closer to my mom and grandmother, who had showered me with so much love, caring, and support.