質問: 英作文の添削お願いします。 テレビを見てマスターズのレポートを書く宿題が出ました。自信が無いので添削お願いします。ゴルフのことも良く知らないので困ってます。よろしくお願いします。 タイトル:the first day the chairman introduced arnold palmer to the patrons at the 1st tee. then arnold palmer hit his tee shot to signal the start of the masters. the game started one hour late because of the fog. there were so many spectators. there were some super shot. at the 16th hole, ian poulter hit his tee shot and the ball landed on the green, then the ball rolled into the hole. he got a hole in one. patrons were very excited. it was his 11th hole in one. at the 12th hole, zach johnson, who is the defending champion, hit a ball on the green. the ball landed just beside the hole. at the 1st hole, phil mickelson hit his 3rd shot from out side of the course, and surprisingly the ball fell into a hole. he had a birdie on the 1st hole. tiger woods wasn’t very good. at the 7th hole, he hit his third shot, the ball landed on the rough, it seemed too strong, but the ball came back to the hole, and it stopped near the hole. at the 13th hole, he hit his second shot, and the shot was very good but the ball didn’t land on the green. he hit the ball to the left side but the ball didn’t get up the hill. at the 14th hole, his tee shot was not good and the ball didn’t land on the fairway. at the 15th hole, on his third shot, he approached the hole and the ball fell into the hole. he had an eagle at the 15th hole. at the 18th hole, he hit a ball on the green by two shots, but it was far from the hole. on the green, he hit the ball, but the ball stopped short of the hole. he had a par. he had one eagle and two bogeys without birdie; his first day score was even par.
回答: 自信がないと言われているのは、文法的な内容でしょうか? それとも内容に関してでしょうか? ざっと拝見して、文法的に問題は ないように思います。内容的にも、質問者さんご自身が見られたこと なので、変に手を加えるべきではないと思いますが、気になるのは、 単なる報告になってしまっているので、もっと質問者さんの感じたことを 書かれてはどうかと思います。これも、どういう目的でレポートの課題が 出ているかにはよりますが。 それから、学校の課題であれば、先生に添削してもらうことが前提に なっていると思いますので、いくら自信がなくても、ご自身の実力で 作成したものを出すのが、ご自身のために良いと思いますよ。 ここで添削してもらって完璧なものを出して、課題の意味があるのか 疑問です。