[{"question": "I would suggest explaining to her that, yes, this is an obnoxious process. But the reason it\u2019s such an obnoxious long process is that mental health is really complicated, and treating ADHD can be complicated. You fill out all the questions and sometimes answer the same questions to the doctor because they are being very thorough to ensure they are getting it right. It\u2019s because she is important and her wellbeing is important and so it\u2019s therefore very important to the doctor to get it right and have all the info they need to treat her properly and make sure she can feel her best.", "comment": "So my daughter is being assessed a week today and this is the private second opinion (actually the NHS one hasn\u2019t yet taken place (05/02/2019) but I wasn\u2019t taking any chances we\u2019ve already waited eight years!), it\u2019s an hour and a half long and she\u2019s video-link face to face and now starting to worry herself soft over it.\n\nI\u2019ve tried explaining that they\u2019re used to all kinds of things and her difficulties following questions, speaking to strangers etc will all be understood and that\u2019s sounding a bit better to her now but she\u2019s also wanting to know why when she\u2019s completed over 22 pages of questions and answers (that took us nearly a week to do as she gets fed up listening then responding) she then has to listen and talk for a further hour and a half. \n\nAny explanations please?  Insight as to how to get her to chill out over it etc, anything welcome thank you", "post_id": "ad67hc", "comment_id": "eddy65c"}, {"question": "Theres no \"stronger\" antidepressant, though some are more effective than others in large sample studies (Cipriani et al).\n\nI prescribe venlafaxine regularly. Its effective for many. General principles is to try the top dose (if tolerated) for a while before switching. Venlafaxine typically goes up to 375mg daily (in the UK).", "comment": "Girlfriend is taking two every day for anxiety and missed a dose and got every symptom from withdrawal.\n\nAnything yoy guys can tell me about this drug... Are there much stronger ones that are prescribed or is this pretty much the top dog?", "post_id": "8e4jqc", "comment_id": "dxsgetq"}, {"question": "I would call that exceptional maturity!  Because immature people are impulsive and think they're in love in a nanosecond, when they're just in 'lust', and desperate.  What you're describing is the slower, but more durable path between like and love.", "comment": "Teenager who's seventeen. Second boyfriend. But hell, he's fantastic. I can imagine graduating and even keeping up a LDR with him. My brother has been with his high school sweetheart for four years now, I feel like that could be with me and him as well.", "post_id": "5tr2v7", "comment_id": "ddoenlm"}, {"question": "you deserve better.  the most important thing any young adult should learn is how to be happy alone. if you're happy alone, then you become very selective about who you date, because if it doesn't work, you can go back to being happy alone. if you're starving, macdonald's tastes pretty good!  if you're not starving, you can be more patient about finding the best.  this fellow has emotional problems. if therapy didn't help, he either went to  a bad therapist, or he didn't work at it.", "comment": "Hi everyone,\nSo my boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year. Both in college, and the relationship used to be going well. We would hang out once in a while, we were friendly, and used to do fun things together.\nAnd then as the months progressed, he became increasingly more emotionally unstable. He cut himself, a lot of times in front of me. He dealt with depression, but refused to seek help for it. He also began to complain anytime that I had plans because that would be \"less time with him.\"\nI'm on a dance team and he even wished I wouldn't get into any competitions because then I'd have more time with him. I've asked him for space, and he makes an effort to try and give me a couple hours everyday. However, he mocks me for it all the time and makes light of many things he says like \"is this supportive like you want\" and things like that. \n\nHe also used to check through my phone to make sure I didn't text anyone without him knowing, or make any plans without him knowing. I've felt increasingly isolated and had more anxiety as a result, which I already suffered from. I know I have to leave, but I can see why abusive relationships are so hard to leave. You are somehow incapable of thinking you are ok being on your own, and that scares me. I still have somewhere in the back of the head saying I deserve better. Yet this feeling that I can't handle my life without him overwhelms me. Again, sure sign that I need help.\n\nTherapists haven't helped in the past, and any of them at my school haven't helped me overcome it. Any thoughts?  \n", "post_id": "5ma6q9", "comment_id": "dc22y49"}, {"question": "NAD. This looks exactly like the petiache I got on my thigh when I put a hand warmer in my pants pocket and it burst the blood vessels there.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gehy0x", "comment_id": "fpp28og"}, {"question": "Having friends isn't cheating. Even having friends you have (or once had) feelings for. But it still might be a bad idea. \n\nIf you're getting a self-esteem boost or male-feedback fix from men who aren't your partner, it has the potential to interfere in the communication and attention-seeking your primary relationship needs; and it can slide pretty easily into flirting, which slides into edging, which can lead to you blowing up your relationship by actually cheating. \n\nSo be careful, and if you have a hard time explaining why hanging out with someone is a good idea, think about it. ", "comment": "Hi relationship_advice! My boyfriend saw messages from a guy friend of mine about hanging out. He started asking me questions and I was acting weird in my answers because I have had feelings for this guy friend in the past. I am madly in love with my boyfriend and the friendship is really nothing more than a friendship.\n\nIn the past, I have responded to texts from exes or FWBs and my boyfriend gets (understandably) upset at this. He is now upset about the friendship because he sees it as me seeking attention from other guys. He went so far as to say that making plans with a friend for whom I have had feelings is like cheating on him.\n\nI am not sure why I respond to those messages or why I like the attention from other guys. My hypothesis is that I never got attention from men in middle school, high school, and most of college so I am insecure that I am not good enough.\n\n**tldr; boyfriend said he thought my friendship with a guy friend I used to have a crush on is cheating. I seem to have some need for seeking male attention outside my relationship.**\n\nDoes anyone have any advice about why I may be doing this (on a subconscious level)? Is this friendship cheating? How can I make things right?\n\nThank you so much for reading and your advice.", "post_id": "6f1avv", "comment_id": "dien2uo"}, {"question": "I swear by Naturopathica. May not meet affordability criteria but the products last so you can make the case for it even financially. Yes, my face wash is like $50 but it lasts six months. Ingredients are natural, many organic, and I THINK cruelty free. \n\nI use the Oat Cleansing Facial Polish in the AM and follow with Calendula moisturizer. PM, I switch between Aloe Cleansing Gel and Sweet Lupine Makeup Remover Cleansing Cream, and follow with Calendula moisturizer again. I\u2019ve been experimenting with serum samples under the Calendula cream at night to good effect too. ", "comment": "I recently turned 30 and I'm determined to take better care of my skin.  I'm a minority it doesn't age as fast (comparatively speaking), but I'd like to keep it as healthy and blemish-free as possible.  Right now to take care of my skin I drink water, get at least 7 hours of sleep a day, don't smoke cigarettes, and wash my face daily-if you could even call that a routine, lol.  My acne has never been severe, despite PCOS, but I do have a few scars from it.  My skin would be classified as dry. \n\nFor the sake of consistency, I would like to buy all of my products from the same brand/line.  My specifications are:  1. suited to dry skin, 2. not tested on animals (I absolutely cannot compromise on this), and 3. affordable (I work in a gov't job so I can't splurge).  I'm looking for something that's anti-aging, reduces blemishes, and brightens skin.  \n\nWhat would you ladies recommend?  Also, is it just an urban legend that drinking spearmint tea clears up your skin?", "post_id": "7w7pv0", "comment_id": "dtz2i9f"}, {"question": "Holy crap this is a great quote ", "comment": "Found this quote on another sub.  It belongs here on SD\n\n\n\"Behavior seems nearly unchangeable, but behavior is a just a word to describe \"a series of individual conscious decisions, over time\". \n\nAt some point you stopped crapping your pants, but you take it for granted that something so ridiculous used to be a really tough choice.\n\nBut you chose. And chose again. And at some point it just became... YOU.\n\nPast choices predict the most likely future, not determine it. \n\nSo would you rather attempt a BIG behavior change? Or just one decision?\n\n\nChange the behavior of \"future-you\".\n\n\nCHOOSE.\n\n\n\nThis really had a profound affect on me this morning for some reason.  \n", "post_id": "46pzd2", "comment_id": "d07764u"}, {"question": "You're protecting your body from ingress verbally, visually and perceptively. Maybe. Also I'd screen for bodily assault in your history. \n\nI've had clients do this for weeks. It's so awesome to see them come back each week because I know how hard it must be for them just to show up. \n\nYou're a fountain of courage and must want this shit bad. ", "comment": "I was asked to crosspost this a few places:\n\nI literally cower in therapy and I don\u2019t know why it induces such a visibly uncomfortable anxiety response. It\u2019s as if I\u2019m trying to hide from him\u2014I cover my face, turn my head away and hide it in my hands, pull my legs over my chest, and sometimes attempt to curl up. I\u2019m also pulling on my fingers a lot and wringing them around and playing with things constantly. My voice is also quieter and shaky. I guess maybe this is \u201cregression.\u201d\n\nI don\u2019t know why I do this. I find this really embarrassing because it makes me feel insane and like a child and like I can\u2019t have a professional adult relationship with this person. But at the same time it seems counterproductive to suppress it, as for whatever reason this submissive behavior is coming naturally to me and I shouldn\u2019t have to pretend or wear a mask in therapy. \n\nDoes anyone else leave therapy embarrassed by their body language and general way of interacting because it\u2019s not how you would interact with anyone else? I\u2019ve been wondering if it\u2019s because my therapist is male (like my abusers) or if it\u2019s just because my body feels like this is the place we will talk about my \u201ctrauma\u201d and is anticipating it.\n\nAlso: Therapists, I\u2019d love if you\u2019d also weigh in: what do you think is going on with a client if they act this way in session?", "post_id": "94gh2q", "comment_id": "e3kuybh"}, {"question": "Welcome back!  Also glad you are alright.  \n\nHospitalization was one of the best things that ever happened to me in many ways.  People think I'm seriously weird for saying this.  Still, I would be dead if not for that.  Your words really ring true for me.\n\nHere's to things keep looking up from here.  ", "comment": "So, I've had posts here and in SW recently, and I figured I'd let folks know how that went.  I checked myself into a local mental health unit on Wednesday.  My medication has been adjusted, I am now on generic Zoloft, 100 mg.  It's an SSRI like the citalopram was, but with a much wider dosing range, so I probably won't have to mix medications to fix things.\n\nIt wasn't nearly as terrifying this time, probably because I was voluntary admission, and probably also because I wasn't in as bad of a place, mentally.  Last time I was transferred in immediately following a suicide attempt.  I didn't have hope of things being better.  This time I was suicidal, but knew there was hope, and went in intending to survive long enough for things to be fixed.\n\nThere is a reason for these places.  They aren't punishments, they aren't just prisons with better PR, and they certainly aren't Bethlem House.  If you're not feeling safe with yourself, it might well be a good idea to check yourself in to a facility for a time to get better.", "post_id": "yru6h", "comment_id": "c5ycaw8"}, {"question": "Everyone grieves differently. The stages aren\u2019t met to be start and finished. You cycle through them randomly and for a particular amount of time. Just feel whatever you do or don\u2019t feel and take care of yourself. I\u2019m sorry about your loss. ", "comment": "i loved the man more than i loved my father, I mean the guy practically raised me with how much time I spent with him. But I don't feel anything from it. I'm not sad or angry I just heard the news and and just 'was' and that's what's bothering me the most. I'm supposed to be sad or something but I'm not and I don't know why.", "post_id": "7t1zb0", "comment_id": "dt98q52"}, {"question": "This would also be an excellent question to ask your nephrologist!\n\nIf this all is due to kidney damage from E. coli infection, it's quite possible that the CKD is actually chronic problems left from an acute process, which is different from a chronic, progressive condition like most CKD. It may be that while your kidney function is less than would be predicted by your age and health, it's not a problem. The important things are to not develop other causes for progressive worsening, so keeping an eye on blood pressure is important. And I'm not sure who \"they\" are saying that weight loss doesn't matter; even if you remain obese, all the evidence supports weight loss improving health, including risks for high blood pressure and diabetes.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "b5fl4g", "comment_id": "ejd6ylx"}, {"question": "he won't process all this for a while. i would move on. ", "comment": "well, to be fair, he seems really really into me. he responds constantly to my texts. he tells me i make him happy. we've also only known each other for 2 weeks and his level of interests scares me because it's really high and i'm more of a go with the flow kind of person (I can casually date someone for years before I need daily communication).  anyways...so he ended up telling me about his past. apparently he has once used a transsexual person for sex. he has also used some guys for easy sex. he's also had a 3 some with some really old people (50 year olds) because he was feeling lonely/down and needed validation. He's also ghosted some people and doesn't find overweight girls attractive, which is kind of scummy (all women are beautiful). To his credit, he's seeing a therapist for what he calls his sexual addiction. I don't know, I see a ton of red and I want to run away. my friends tell me I run away from any relationship quickly because I hate opening up to people, but I feel like I should run away. tell me i'm not crazy. ", "post_id": "6wnweg", "comment_id": "dm9i728"}, {"question": "If you threaten suicide, that's what happens. If you feel you want to hurt yourself or might hurt yourself, that's what NEEDS to happen. If you don't believe that is a legitimate risk and you just kinda 'feel' that way, that will be the response because you cannot use suicide as a coping mechanism or a way to express yourself.\n\nThe way its set up, if your family does not believe in mental health, that's not culture so much as it is neglect. Your mom can have her own tricks but you aren't your mom. And you have more emotional intelligence than her. \n\nYour individual needs outweigh cultural needs. \n\nIf you are fasting during Ramadan most will admit they have taken a snack when they weren't supposed to. And those rules do not apply if you have health needs like diabetes. This is the same thing. You have mental illness, you need help and support. Not tradition.", "comment": "I have not been officially diagnosed with BPD but I am about 93% sure that this is what I'm dealing with. I want to seek help and get an official diagnosis but for a long time, I've hated psychiatrist and anything similar. I don't trust them. It stems back to when I was a senior in high school. That's when my depression went into overdrive. I would disassociate in the middle of class and end up just walking out. Or sometimes I'd get so overwhelmed with emotions and the desire to die that I would walk out, find a secluded area in the school, sit on the floor, and just cry. No one knew this though. I was the happy girl who everyone wanted to be friends with. Anyway, my English teacher was the only one who picked up on it. One day, she called me up to the front of class and whispered, \"Are you ok?\" I laughed, smiled, and said. \"yeah!\" She looked at me, reached into her desk, and wrote me a slip and told me a room number to go to. Confused, I went. Turns out it was the school therapist/psychiatrist. I ended up talking to her often. She told me that whenever I felt overwhelmed, I could come to her office, so I did. Every time I walked out of a class, I found myself knocking at her door. It was amazing, because I'm the kind who likes to suffer alone. I don't talk about my problems to anyone. If I do have BPD, it is definitely the quiet type. But here was this women who I could openly talk about my problems to without judgment. It was relieving and a huge weight off my shoulders. Well, one day I decide to open up to her about my being suicidal. The conversation went well, she told me ways to cope. That was also the day she brought up her suspicions of me being either Bipolar or having BPD. Later that day, I go home, and I am greeted by my very pissed off mother who begins yelling at me. The psychiatrist called her and told her that we'd been talking, that I was suicidal and so on. I felt completely betrayed. Looking back to it, I know that she was just doing her job. If a minor tells you they're suicidal, the wise thing to do is probably tell their parents right? Well, I come from a culture that doesn't believe in mental health issues and depression. So my mom was angry. She felt that she's given her children everything so I had no reason to be depressed. I felt like crap because my mom was so disappointed and hurt that I was depressed. Anyway, I got into a lot of trouble and since that day, I never went back to see that psychiatrist. I went back to keeping everything inside and bottling everything up. I will never forget what my mom told me when I was a kid. I was emotional all the time. She said, \"People don't always need to know how you're feeling. They don't need to know when you're sad. You see how many people love to be around me because I'm happy all the time?\" And that's what I learned. When you're happy, people love you. When you show anything else but that, people don't want anything to do with you. Anyway, I haven't ever gotten the courage to see a psychiatrist again but at this point I know that I really need to. I just don't know how to get over my distrust/fear/hatred for them.", "post_id": "buvk9c", "comment_id": "epiheea"}, {"question": "I think my country might be different (it's all private here LOL fml) but I have the same worries. I definitely know I have ADHD cause seriously... it all fits. But $500 is A LOT of money if I don't get any help. I'm going anyway because something needs to change. It's not a case of if my life will fall apart if I continue anymore unfortunately. ", "comment": "I told myself that as soon as i get my pay I'm going to book my private session right away (it's \u00a3300 for an adhd assesment), but I'm hesitating like heck.\n\nI'm really scared that this will end up being a waste of time and I'd spend the money to get nowhere. I'm not very good at describing things and I've been heavily doubting my symptoms this whole week, like what if I'm playing it up? Or what if I really am just lazy and stupid and there's nothing wrong with me? \nI really can't tell anymore and it upsets me honestly!\n\nSorry i guess this is more of a vent post, did anyone else have these feelings before going private? And was it worth it to do so despite all the doubt and worries about wasting money????", "post_id": "ajnop3", "comment_id": "eex9lfl"}, {"question": "it's hard, for sure. surround yourself with people who love you.\n\n\"...between grief and nothing, I will take grief.\"-Faulkner", "comment": "There weren't negatives, the end was mutual to spare friendship, well friendship spared, and I thought I might still stand a chance given a little time , but they're with someone else now and I'm not sure how to cope. ", "post_id": "5v1hrj", "comment_id": "ddyi1wq"}, {"question": "It probably won't work out, but it will be fun while it lasts. Just tell her to get some long-acting birth control, like Mirena.", "comment": "Throwaway because she uses reddit and knows my name.\n\nSo this friend of mine. She met a guy online through a video game who just turned 19. Fresh out of high school going to the military. He's gone through his basic training and such and will be stationed in Germany for at least two years starting in a couple months.\n\nThey've seen each other in real life for three visits now, two weekends and one week (he lives about 3hrs away by plane). And they've realized the only way they'll be able to continue seeing each other is if she moved to Germany which neither of them have the money to support unless they get married and the US Government foots the bill. Now, apparently he's willing to foot the bill to send her back to the US and take care of everything divorce wise if things don't work out.\n\nThe thing is, she's looking to go back to school to be a Vet and has a job now. All of which she'd have to give up and/or go to school in Germany, again, with help from her boyfriend/husband (and the government most likely because they can't afford it again).\n\nThe biggest issue is this guy has totally fallen like a sack of bricks for her (as you'd expect when you read on below)... and she keeps saying she really likes him but she broke up with her boyfriend less than 4 months before meeting this guy. Not to mention, this is the guy's first relationship ever, no girlfriends in high school or anything. This is screaming \"help, I'm rebounding\" and \"omg someone looked at me\" all over but she just hasn't listened to anything I've said.\n\nOtherwise, to be honest, the guy's a nice guy from what I've seen. Just... she (nor I for that matter) really know him at all.\n\nPersonally, I just see a giant train wreck from every angle I'm really looking for some good input, I'm at a loss of what to tell them because to me it's fairly obvious. I'm on the verge of just letting them potentially ruin their collective lives but I'd prefer if that didn't happen. Unless you guys think I'm wrong, either way I'd really like to know, please help.", "post_id": "161iql", "comment_id": "c7rvrft"}, {"question": "As normal as you can get.", "comment": "I am 15\n\nMale\n\n1m 70ish\n\nBritish\n\n60kg\n\nNot sure what that mean \n\nEye\n\nNot realy \n\nNone \n\nHere you go https://imgur.com/gallery/mNGfb\n\nAre my eyes supposed to be like this the first pic is in a room with no sunlight directly in my eye the next 2 are with light in my eye then the last 2 are with a phone light one the side of my eye is it supposed to be like that the colour seems different and there are black lines inside and a thick blacks line around too \n\nAny help is much appreciated thank you ", "post_id": "5kjyni", "comment_id": "dboqfnb"}, {"question": "Yes. You're doing fine cutting her off. Move on with your life!", "comment": "Hello,\n\nI want to share with you about my experience and ask what you would do in my place. As the title says, I have some problems with a former girlfriend, specifically I do not know what relationship I should keep with her.\nWe broke up in late February, after a brief but intense relationship. Our feelings were mutual, but on her part it began to cool down over time. She started to avoid me, repeatedly advise me to find someone else, emphasizing that we only few things in common, and all the time she was in contact with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she could go back together. When this uncertainty in relationship was no longer bearable, I decided to tell her my doubts, even though I knew it would end with a break up.\n\nShe recoverd relatively easily because she was emotionally involved in someone else but it was very hard for me. Even after the break up, we spent a lot of time together (her new/old boyfriend works abroad) as if nothing had happened. Actually, she contacted me a few hours after we broke up, and then when she later admitted she was in love with her ex-boyfriend, as if nothing had happened. I tried to accept everything, respect her decision, move on and have a friendly relations with her. But I was just lying myself, hoping to rekindle our relationship. Until recently, I was in a vicious circle in which I repeatedly fell in love with her, only to be disappointed with her statement or a mention of her boyfriend.\n\nI have realized, that can\u00b4t keep up with this anymore, and I decided to stop communicating with her. We are already communicating much less than before, we meet occasionally... and I feel better. I do not think of what happened, where the error happened, and I feel I'm growing as a person. But I also feel remorse against her and our common past, when I get away from her life in this way. I do not want act as I can\u00b4t control my feelings and doing unnecessary scenes. Most of the time in my life I\u00b4am trying to be reasonable and act as a grown-up, but sometimes it\u00b4s not possible, and I've probably come across my limit.\n\nIf I did not do that, there two possible scenarios of our relationship. I would either fall in love with her again only to be dissapointed again, or I would start to hate her and I really don\u00b4t wish for this, because despite the things she did to me, she is a great person with amazing character. However, I have encountered my personal limit, and I do not think I can maintain friendly relations with her without losing my hope of reviving my relationship.\n\nDo you think I'm doing well if I get out of her life like that? What would you do in my place? Do you have similar experience like me?\n\nThank you in advance for readings and answers.", "post_id": "6dh9lk", "comment_id": "di2lc4b"}, {"question": "When or if I drive after being unmedicated for a few days reminds me of that dog from *Up*. I'm looking at every billboard, street sign, and cute girl I pass instead of what's actually happening in front of my vehicle. \n\nWhen I'm adequately medicated and on the right dose, I still can have problems with inattention but it's nowhere near as bad. I'm much more mindful of my lack of attention and my ability to pull my focus back to where it needs to be is definitely there too. ", "comment": "**tl;dr: have you noticed a difference between driving while medicated vs driving unmedicated.**\n\nHey all! \nFirst off love this sub, I've never had a space make me feel this safe to ask questions like this. \n\nSo I am about to embark on a coast to coast road trip from Newfoundland to B.C with my best friend! \nI've had my license for 4 years now (got it pretty late at the age of 20) and I've been in two car accidents. One which I don't remember, vacant stretch of road where i ended up in a ditch on the opposite side of the road. The other was getting caught in the first snow on my way to get snow tires and losing control of the car and landing in a ditch. I used to drive about 2 hours every day as a commute, but now I live in a city and use public transit.\nI've been reassessed for ADHD earlier this year and have been adjusting fairly well to vyvanse. I take it when I feel I need it, but I have not driven regularity for 2 years and haven't driven at all since I started taking it. I'm wondering if people here had similar stories of accidents while they were unmedicated. If medication has helped their driving. If learning to drive unmedicated/undiagnosed caused any weird learning curve when they began driving after being medicated/diagnosed. \n\nI won't be leaving on this trip for another week and a half, so I'm just trying to prepare for over 9000km of driving in my near future! \nThanks as always, buds!", "post_id": "54x6t3", "comment_id": "d86apwl"}, {"question": "While of course it is impossible to tell via reddit, you seem to be a bit manic. Consider going to a hospital.", "comment": "I posted this in response to someone on askreddit, but I felt like posting it here. I have a lot of anxiety issues and I decided to subscribe to this subreddit so I can rant occasionally, and also talk to people who go through similar things. I just need to get some of this off my chest. I've been down on myself since forever because I can't work. I dropped out of school when I was 15. Anyways...\n\nThe last week has been full of flashbacks and shit. Basically the government was responsible for putting me in a situation where I was almost killed and raped and I am very traumatized, and my government paid therapist quit seeing me because she is a shitty therapist and I have nowhere to turn to so I'm almost literally rotting away, at least my teeth are. I have had a sinus infection since november and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get really sick and die soon.\n\nI'm just high functioning autistic. I need help and the government isn't helping me except they pay for my house and that's it. My social worker doesn't even phone me she wouldnt know if I died.\n\nI tried working but the PTSD stopped me because my dad works in a store that has a major trigger. Box cutter/retractable blade reminded me of someone who used to slit his wrists to get a reaction out of us, and 2x4 reminded me of when the same guy would ge tlocked in a theraputic queit room to stop him from attacking us and a 2x4 was jammed in the ahllway to stop the door from busting out. I can't go back to school because someone I met in group therapy for aspergers tried to get me in the bathroom so he could rape me. My occupational therapist ditche dme because I was trying to go to the dentist so my sinus infection and rotting teeth would be fixed before I went to school.\nI can't really afford to pay for a new therapist on my own. All the government paid ones were shit to me.\n\nI'd be able to work with my dad if that wasn't the case, but it is and it's all due to really shitty therapists and health care system! I don't care if I take money from the government or if people think I'm a lazy stoner, because I know myself why I can't work or go back to school.\n\n(I don't actually smoke weed I just like the word stoner.)\n\n", "post_id": "y6zvk", "comment_id": "c5tb61k"}, {"question": "Congratulations! Good work choosing to take care of yourself :)", "comment": "I've always had problems with acne and dry skin on my face and have been trying out a new skin routine lately. I'm also in Arizona on vacation and it's way more dry here than I'm used to. I've been spending basically all my time inside, though, which is good because my face creams make me prone to burning. But anyways, I woke up yesterday and was absolutely horrified! My *entire* face was dry and peeling! Parts of my face were also red and splotchy, like some sort of burn. I have anxiety, and I was completely overwhelmed with the idea of going out in public looking like that.\n\nI immediately started freaking out and almost had a panic attack, but was able to calm myself down (woo!). I desperately wanted to pick all the skin off my face but I didn't really have time and knew it would probably look worse if I did. I only picked at my skin a little bit, around my eyelids where some skin was already mostly off anyways. I only spent like a minute picking, which is a huge accomplishment for me in a disaster scenario like this!! I just put on some moisturizer (CeraVe's Skin Renewing Night Cream) and my skin was actually almost completely fine by the end of the day!\n\nI think my skin probably got so bad partially because I've been slowly integrating new products into my face routine over the past few weeks + I'm in a dry area + we were running the AC all night. I'm not sure what was up with burnt looking spots, though, since I literally wasn't out in the sun at all... But I'm super proud of myself for mostly resisting the urge to pick! I can tell I'm getting better at controlling myself which is a big deal so I just wanted to share it with someone :)", "post_id": "96efci", "comment_id": "e4drkhb"}, {"question": "As a professional therapist I won't give any diagnostic advice or information via the internet, but I will say that unless your therapist is the only therapist around for 30 miles or so, it's generally never good practice for each of you to have the same therapist, as they'll have built in biases having known you for so many years.\n\n\nI'd recommend that your husband consider seeing someone else immediately.  This has nothing to do with what the therapist is telling him regarding his personal narrative.  She may be 100% accurate or not at all.  At the end of the day, you two not having separate therapists is going to do harm to both of you.  \n\n\nIdeally, you shouldn't even be seeing the same therapist for couple's that either of you see for your individual therapy.  \n\n\nAs KatD240 said, diagnosis isn't really that important, especially when it comes to therapy.  Therapists treat the person and their symptoms, not the diagnosis.  Now.... where it is more important is when it comes to Psychiatry.  Has he gone to be evaluated by a Psychiatrist to see if they think medications would be helpful?  Given how severe the symptoms are, it wouldn't hurt to at least see what a Psychiatrist has to say.  ", "comment": "Hi Ask A Therapist,\n\nTL;DR Based on his long term behavior, I think my husband has bi-polar, which runs in his family. My husband also seems to think he has bi-polar, when he is not too depressed to talk. But, our therapist thinks my husband is trapped in a defeatist narrative of thinking he is \"crazy.\" My husband is again in a depressed period where he is hardly talking to me, and this time our marriage is on the line. What should I do? Is there anything I can do?\n\n​\n\nLong Version:\n\nI've been seeing our therapist, A, since I was 18 years old (about 9 years). My husband and I met when we were both 19, and after seeing the positive effects of my experiences in therapy, my husband started seeing our therapist when we were both 20. We got married when we were both 21. We are now both 27. \n\nThroughout our marriage, we have gone through good times and bad times (as people do), and throughout our marriage there have been periods of time where my husband has been very depressed and extremely distant from me (and everyone else). During these times, he will hardly talk to me or anyone else, and often keeps his head buried in fantasies. There are other periods of time where my husband is happy, social and able to plan for the future, and our relationship grows and thrives. These periods (good or bad) typically last 3-4 months at a time, depending on what life throws at us. \n\nThe longest \"down\" period occurred last year and lasted 7 or 8 months, including nearly 2 months of living in the same house while he stonewalled me. After this period, my husband confessed he resented me for many of the decisions we made together, and had been cheating on me for a long time with someone I thought was a mutual friend. We separated in September (his choice) and did not speak to each other at all from October to nearly December (although I messaged him frequently to try to initiate conversations). Throughout December, my husband seemed to be coming out of a depressive state and we began to see each other in person again. Throughout January we were again happy friends, and I felt we were getting close to talking about reconciliation. However, my husband broke his ankle at the end of January, which required surgery and lots of painkillers. I helped him with his recovery through February, and things were great until he stayed a night with me at our house, where I woke up to him crying. After this, there was a mood shift over the course of a week. Around the beginning of March, he stopped talking to me. All I can get from him right now is \"I'm not okay\" and \"I just want to be alone.\" \n\nMy husband's father had untreated bi-polar for nearly the entire time my husband knew him, up until he died the year my husband and I met. His father would cycle through periods of irritability and aggression, and periods of complete withdrawal from society. Two of my husband's brothers are diagnosed with bi-polar (one older, one younger). The older one died somewhat mysteriously shortly after starting bi-polar medications, and we suspect he took sleeping pills to commit suicide. The younger one has two suicide attempts under his belt, but is currently doing alright for himself.  We strongly suspect one of his older sisters has it as well. For what it is worth, my husband's other 6 non-BP siblings also have a variety of problems with depression and/or substance abuse and/or eating disorders. \n\nWhen my husband is \"up\" or \"normal,\" he sometimes says he really genuinely thinks he has bi-polar, too. But, things are good, it doesn't feel urgent, and no action is taken. When he is down, he essentially does not talk to me or any other person, and I often can't get him to budge out of his depression to just chat, much less tackle a spectre like potential bi-polar disorder diagnosis. \n\nOur mutual therapist A, with whom we've mostly done individual therapy, but who has also been helping us with couple's therapy and through our separation, does not believe my husband has bi-polar. Instead, A thinks this is just part of a personal narrative he holds, where he believes that he is \"crazy\" and can't be fixed or helped. I've gently told A that I think she is wrong... But I haven't been aggressive with her about reconsidering. \n\nI'm concerned that my husband DOES have bi-polar, and that he is continuing to (extremely slowly) veer towards divorcing me to protect me from his bi-polar symptoms, and is at an increased risk of suicide every year that ticks by. I definitely do not want to divorce my husband, even though our marriage has been difficult and he has bottomed out my trust...\n\nIs there something, really ANYTHING I should do here? Should I tell A I think she is wrong, and I think her neglect of this potential problem is endangering my marriage and my husband's life?\n\n​", "post_id": "b8delq", "comment_id": "ejyrdfm"}, {"question": "Unfortunately, that can be one of the side effects in Wellbutrin. So you probably find yourself stuck in between \"effective dose but bad side effects\" and \"no major side effects but dose is not as effective as I'd like.\"\n\nQuestion- what else are you doing to address your mental health besides taking the Wellbutrin? Taking a medication for something like PTSD/anxiety/depression can be helpful in taking the edge off, so to speak, but it will not make the underlying concerns that spark those symptoms go away.\n\nPerhaps while you are working with your doctor to figure out an appropriate dosage, I would take a look at some other things you can do to help with the symptoms. That might be coping skills, proper diet and exercise, adequate sleep, etc. That can also include seeing a counselor or attending a support group. Stuff like that.\n\nI would follow what your doctor recommended and schedule a follow-up appointment with them to address your concerns about the Wellbutrin dosage. Perhaps they may be able to recommend an alternative dosage or perhaps a different anti-depressant that you may be able to tolerate better. It can be trial and error sometimes finding the best dosage and medication for your specific body chemistry.", "comment": "38/f here. Diagnosed with PTSD (due to physical and sexual abuse as a child), depression, and generalized anxiety. Also agoraphobic.  \nEarlier this year, my doctor prescribed Wellbutrin. I'd never taken any anti-depressants before so it was all new to me. I had to start taking 150mg the first week, then up it to 300mg every day after that first week. I did that, but then about a month after starting it, I was having suicidal thoughts and hearing voices (not even anything intelligible, just sounded like someone screaming in my head). My doctor recommended I go back down to 150mg daily.   \nI've had some rough days this week. No cause that I can pinpoint specifically, just feeling more 'down' than I regularly do on my normal dose of Wellbutrin. I called the doctor's office and the nurse said since the max I was prescribed daily is 300mg, I can take that full dose on days when I feel 150mg isn't doing enough.\n\nHas anyone else experienced this? If so, do you have a regular schedule that you take your max dose (like maybe every other day), or do you just take it as needed?", "post_id": "cvt46q", "comment_id": "ey69o9y"}, {"question": "give her some space and re-approach slowly.", "comment": "So the title basically says it all. We met, were great friends for a couple months. Hooked up, we confessed feelings. \n\nShe wasn't over her ex, things cooled off but I kept pursuing. Said she wasn't ready for a relationship. \n\nKept it cool, a month goes by, we hook up again. Things cool off again. I was confused and getting mixed signals. So I tell her I really like her but understand that the doesn't want something right now. She then said she doesn't feel the same way, doesn't feel like I'm a life partner... But wants to remain friends. We texted every day, now it's cooling off. I'm not texting her or contacting her until she shows interest again. \n\nI'm sad about it, and can't help but think I fucked up by coming on too strongly. She admitted she felt strong feelings for me but now she doesn't and is actually now pursuing a crush while then admitting that her heart is whimsical and changes. \n\nI'm not pursuing her right now. However I want your opinion if y'all think I have  a chance to get her back in the future. \n\nTL:DR didn't pay attention to signs that I was coming on too strongly, now I scared her. Friend zoned as of now, can I get her back in the future? ", "post_id": "5of82x", "comment_id": "dcivqzx"}, {"question": "Thanks for this!  I\u2019ve always been afraid to journal but maybe I should.  I tend to overthink a lot and was always worried to write things down. ", "comment": "At the begining of 2018 I decided to do this activity. I had this cool notebook to which I occasionally wrote my thoughts when I was feeling down. I figured it would be nice to fill it up so I decided to fixate every momment that gave me positive emotions or simply something that I should be proud of. I write a date and make it into a simple sentance like \"I did not feel as anxious as I used to be in a particular situation\" or \"today I had a decent conversation with someone and feeling a bit awkward did not ruin it\". Maybe something like \"I really enjoyed watching this new movie Ive been waiting for\". It could be \"I really enjoyed my alone time today from all the people\". Of course if you want you can make it into whole paragraph. Anyway, that way I learned that finding good things in life is actually quite easy. Even when it feels like nothing much is going on at the momment. I don't look at it as false positivity because all of the things I write are true. In fact, most of the negative things I told myself before were irrational and not true. I learned what small things make me happy and I focus on them. Get yourself a cool notebook and make it your positivity journal. Whenever you feel an emotion which leans to the good side, remember it and write it down in the evening before you go to bed. Once you fill it up, you can read it when you feel down to remember those momments that made you feel good about yourself.", "post_id": "9q6rsl", "comment_id": "e872pwx"}, {"question": "Oh dear. Could you homeschool and work or would you get a tutor? I know how hard it is emotionally for the kids...not to mention the parents ! ", "comment": "My 10 year old son has ALWAYS been busy...even in the womb!  Flash forward to 4th grade!  I feel like I'm at a breaking point.  I'm a divorced single mother of 2 and this is very stressful.  The phone calls that I get AT WORK...notes home..low test scores...inability or down right refusal to cooperate with homework...phone calls and pleading with dad for assistance are unproductive and I have no idea what to do!!  I'm depressed and quite frankly I believe he is as well.  Adderall XR 5mg produced voices.  Teachers have other students to focus and my patience has been run ragged.  WHERE DO I GO...WHAT DO I DO??", "post_id": "9ahzgx", "comment_id": "e4vnuig"}, {"question": "tell him to stop, and if he doesn't, the relationship is in big trouble", "comment": "Bf and I have been together almost a year and I've noticed that I give him privacy with his devices..computer, phone ect but it seems like he feels my devices are open to him. He'll grab my phone and just serf the net or look at a pic but I wouldn't do that to him. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. We don't share passwords because he said early on that phones are private devices and he says that doesn't mean he has anything to hide he just likes his privacy. He will leave his phone around me unattended. I would never snoop through his stuff. Is this weird or a red flag? Generally everything else is fine. ", "post_id": "6da0ug", "comment_id": "di10i7q"}, {"question": "LPC here. If you don't mind me asking, who diagnosed you?\n\nI only ask because it's incredibly rare to be diagnosed with a personality disorder, and there's no reason for a clinician to diagnose you with 2, let alone WITH bipolar. \n\nThe diagnoses (according to the DSM 5) don't even allow overlapping personality disorder diagnoses, since each diagnosis requires the symptoms to not be better explained by another diagnosis. So if you fit the criteria for bipolar 2, you can't even be diagnosed with anything else.\n\nIt's important to remember that your diagnoses do not define who you are. They are simply terms the mental health field uses to keep track of your symptoms so we can help you. You are a person, no matter what.\n\nI would definitely recommend mental health services if you're seeking help. I think speaking with an individual therapist or case manager would really help you process how you're feeling. If you have insurance, contact your provider and see what options you have. It feels like a lot of work, but if you're willing to commit to treatment you could work on these things that are bothering you. What do you have to lose?", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "49fi91", "comment_id": "d0rf862"}, {"question": "A lot of people are saying it is a choice for the first drink, which can be true. But the Big Book says there comes a time where we lose the power of choice in drink. I 100% agree with this. We can white knuckle for so long, but eventually we are powerless over taking that first drink without some form of recovery that results in a dramatic change in our thinking and feeling. If you\u2019re not familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous, I would encourage you to read The Doctor\u2019s Opinion in the beginning of the Big Book. It speaks to exactly what you\u2019re talking about. The mental obsession is what you are talking about. It does not matter how strong our love is for someone, how much we have to lose by picking up the first drink, or how catastrophic the results might be if we pick up, it is still not stronger than the mental obsession to pick up in untreated alcoholism. It will win out eventually every single time. When we think it is as simple as a choice that made us pick up, we invite more guilt and shame and leave us wondering what the hell is wrong with us and that we are a bad person or an immoral person. That mental obsession has to be arrested or at least significantly diminished. The only way I have ever been able to do that is through Alcoholics Anonymous, though I know many people who have been able to do it through other means. The key is that we need to be free from\nthat obsession. However we go about that, it needs to ultimately produce that entire psychic change where our thought patterns are completely different from those when we were drinking. \n\nFor me, the mental obsession originated from the relief I found in alcohol. It provided me instant relief from whatever I was feeling; whether it be feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, irritable, stressed, jealous, depressed, anxious, bored....whatever it is. It\u2019s a feeling of what the Big Book called restless, irritable, and discontent (RID). When I try to stop drinking with will power without doing any work on myself or my recovery, all I have done is taken away  my solution to the RID I live with day in and day out. Therefore, all I am left with is that RID, with no solution to find relief from it. I can will it, or white knuckle it, for various lengths of time and try to fool myself into thinking I am better, but it is definitely only a matter of time before I am going to pick up a drink to get that instant relief I need, regardless of the consequences. That is why the key for me is a program of recovery that address the RID, or feelings of rarely or never being okay in the present moment or in my own skin. When I find something that addresses that RID effectively, the mental obsession is either arrested or easily managed when it does pop up. The program of recovery that has worked for me is the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.\n\n\nPlease don\u2019t hate yourself for continuing to make the same mistake of picking up that first drink. Without that psychic change, we will get to the point where we actually have lost the choice in whether we pick up or not. The key is to find the program that works for you to produce that psychic change.", "comment": "I went to a social distancing party last night and got black out drunk. I mean, I was already wasted when I showed up and then proceeded to drink all the drinks. I was a hot mess and ran my mouth off to a near and dear friend. He reacted very angrily. Literally yelling in my face. I started crying, apologizing over and over. Repeating myself like a drunken fool. My fianc\u00e9 pulled me out of the party and drove me home. He yelled at me the entire way home. Both men are really reasonable, kind people. I must have said something unbelievably bad for both of them to react that way. I don\u2019t even know what I said...\n\nI\u2019m so incredibly embarrassed this morning. I\u2019m hungover as hell and the shakes are already starting. I\u2019m so mad at myself. I was doing so good with my drinking and now here I am sitting in my car, trying to decide if I should force myself to be productive or go find mimosas somewhere.\n\nWhy do I do this? I don\u2019t get it. I know alcoholism and addiction are diseases but I can\u2019t help but feel I\u2019m choosing this. I chose to pick up the bottle last night. I chose to continue drinking. I\u2019m making a choice now of what my day is going to look like. I keep thinking it\u2019s going to get better and I keep choosing bad decisions. I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m posting this. I don\u2019t know if I need support, harsh words, to be told it\u2019s going to be ok... I just know I need help. I can\u2019t do this anymore\n\nEdit: you all have been so kind and non judgmental towards me. Thank you so much \u2764\ufe0f I hope you all have a great (and sober) Labor Day if you\u2019re in the States. If not, have a great weekend!", "post_id": "in35ql", "comment_id": "g468iim"}, {"question": "There's a whole lot going on there.  At the end of the day, if he wants help and wants to change, a therapist and/or psychiatrist can work with him.  If he doesn't want to change, there's really nothing they or you can do for him.  \n\nAll in all, regardless of any mental illness, I'm more concerned for you.  I would recommend that you see your own therapist to process all of this and either figure out the best ways you can cope, stand up for yourself, and set appropriate boundaries if you decide you want to stay in this relationship at all.  \n\nI don't know if anyone's ever told you this but it sounds like an incredibly abusive relationship.  You don't deserve to be treated that way.\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "25 F Looking for advice and don\u2019t really know where to go . My partner 26 M relationship of 3 years  Has been showing signs of mental health in my opinion , it would be too long to describe in detail so I will include some bullet points on his behaviour and it would be very helpful if someone could give advise if either themselves or partner are like This .\n- he hits himself \n- he picks his skin \n- bites his fingers constantly \n- doesn\u2019t give eye contact\n- has a blank stare like he is vacant \n- has no sex drive but will try touch me when I\u2019m asleep with a vacant expression \n- angry drunk \n- extreme anger at times but then extremely happy \n- no motivatation \n- racist and rude behind closed doors ( not to me and I know it\u2019s not acceptable )\n- doesn\u2019t speak to family with no reason given \n- doesn\u2019t communicate and cannot start a conversation \n- has told me he hasn\u2019t got any emotions but he knows he loves me \n- very secretive with his life and friends\n- will smash things if he doesn\u2019t win at games \n- will go silent and stone wall if questioned \n- he always has to be right \n- will have say he hates me then next minute he loves me more than anything \n- I can see a look in his eyes that I can only describe as someone who is fed up and wants to hurt someone \n- he tells me he never said things he did say and I know he did even others have seen him act this way \n- if I ask him why he said something he will say he can\u2019t remeber saying it \n- he blames me for his behaviour \n- he told me he wants me to Be scared of him and when I asked him about it a few weeks later he said he never said it \n- he only  Wants sex on his terms most of the time when I\u2019m asleep \n- he speeds up in the car when he is in a mood knowing I hate it \n- if he gets a spot he will cut It off his face with scissors \n- tells me he knows he\u2019s ugly and disgusting \nLooking \n- doesn\u2019t tell me about small talk \n- he will say homeless people are Tramps and deserve it ( maybe he has no empathy ) \n- says weird things \n- \nIs this just a bad relationship or is this a illness I have contacted his family and they\u2019ve said they always felt uncomfortable around him , and many others have said the same somethings off and very strange I cannot put my finger on it.  He was such a good man but I\u2019m realising it was all a lie or he\u2019s ill \nHelp appreciated I understand nobody is a doctor but he won\u2019t see one and I need this for my own peace of mind \n", "post_id": "815f4z", "comment_id": "dv0tc1f"}, {"question": "To manage emotions, it is important to first acknowledge it in that moment and explore how the feeling occurred, especially with anger. Emotional reactions come from 10% with what is actually happening and 90% from past experiences. Something to try is asking yourself some questions during the inital moment of anger...simply fill in these sentences with your experience.     \n**The anger started when.....(situation)**      \n**How my body feels with this anger is....(body sensations)**    \n**Another time before when I felt this sensation was...(similar feeling and event)**    \n\nThis is not a quick fix but gives a constructive format that you can use in meditation. I also experience anger in situations and found that I hold grudges and have outbursts because I was letting it \"stay-in\" for so long while also expecting others to understand me. What was a mild annoyance eventually turned into a huge resentment. In fact just had one this past week! ", "comment": "Ever since I've had a lot of my symptoms under control and am no longer suppressing my emotions, I've started to feel its more out of my control, especially my anger.\n\nI was very mild tempered before but now my anger is firey and I'm starting to hold grudges, whereas before I never did.\n\nAnyone have methods of keeping ones emotions I'm check?", "post_id": "71cw2y", "comment_id": "dna1oil"}, {"question": "I don't think plates and screws are ever non-metallic. The question is whether they are non-magnetic enough to be safe for magnets, and I'm not sure how you get the answer to that question. You might be able to get records of what hardware was used from the hospital that did it, and you're most likely to get information about what is and is not compatible with TMS from the place where you're trying to sign up.", "comment": "* Age: 23 years\n* Sex: Female\n* Height: 167cm\n* Weight: 56kg\n* Race: Asian\n* Duration of complaint: Chronic anxiety since childhood, orthographic surgery at 16\n* Location (Geographic and on body): Australia, Skull & Jaw\n* Existing relevant medical issues: Diagnosed with OCD at age 8; currently managing moderate anxiety symptoms; ceased antidepressant medication 1 month ago due to apathy and other intolerable side effects\n* Current medications: None\n\nI had a bimaxillary osteotomy (double jaw surgery) when I was 16 to correct an underbite. I wasn't very well-informed about the procedure at the time, but I did see a scan of my jaw following the operation and it appeared as though I had screws and plates in my face. \n\nNow, at 23 years of age, I've recently become interested in participating in a research study that involves the use of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) to possibly treat my anxiety symptoms. However, they said that I might not be eligible for the study if I have metal objects in my body. \n\nSo, is it possible that the plates and screws from my jaw surgery are a material other than metal? If they are metal though, does this mean that I will never be able to undergo TMS even if it becomes a well-recognised treatment for anxiety and/or depression in the future?", "post_id": "apgv2z", "comment_id": "eg85twn"}, {"question": "As long as the two of you can talk openly and honestly about what you feel and want, it will be ok.", "comment": "My ex and I are still sleeping together\n\nI'm actually really ok with it\nI dont mind just sleeping together but I also just got out of a relationship and I kinda miss the feeling of being with someone and since I've already been with my first ex I feel like I might catch feelings\n\nBut he could as well because he's super sweet to me \n\nBut sometimes I feel like I shouldn't expect to much out of this \n\nI'm scared because my 2nd ex the reason we broke up is cause he cheated on me and now that I'm \"talking\" to my first ex again I feel like I'm gonna relay my trust issues onto him \n\nI shouldn't not trust him because of what some other dude did \n\nI just need some good advice because I really love this kid and I'm okay with just being his friend with whatever benefits I'm only 18 ", "post_id": "6xk9gq", "comment_id": "dmgne9j"}, {"question": "A [systematic review](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5534064/) found incidence of postpartum psychosis to be 0.089% to 0.26%. Rare.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8c06gh", "comment_id": "dxb0chc"}, {"question": "Anything you could do would have to be personal.  Nothing you described related to her legal or professional obligations.  You would have to say what code she violated. This was a personal relationship. Typically , the board looks at complaints from patients and other professionals.  \n\nYou used other professions as examples,  but those examples involved legal violations. \n\nYou would have to talk to an attorney about whether the financial issue constitutes elder abuse , but you said it was because you were manic,  not elderly.", "comment": "Im 60, on a disability for bipolar (manic + depress) for 17 yrs. Took me 8 yrs to get meds right. I still cant work (i volunteer), divorced 5 yrs ago. Stay hypomanic ... else slip to depressed..\n\n3 yrs ago, met woman onlin. For 3 years my only, she had my heart, kept me manic, drained my pension & savings over $50k. When i poked, then pushed for a \"repayment plan\" *poof*  in  one text, \"diff directions\". No face, no.voice. A. Week later, all corresp 'thru my lawyer\".\n\nMORE#1: she is an LCSW & MSW. No schmo.\n\nMore#2: Shes a  big shot, published books, speaks at natl conf's, first name basis with famous experts. She mentors jr counselors getting certificates. Consultant w/travel.\n\nMORE#3. I showed her my manic danger (few years back i gave $30k to dancer, little here little there). This july I had \"depr event\", at xmas I warned gf I was in bleak period.\n\nI setup joint counseling (to break us up \"gently\") but after one session, she ghosted me, dumped by text, lawyered up. \n\nHad it been down cycle, I should have been suicidal. Instead, up cycle, I've been on 8 week manic anxiety. For 2 years i warned her not to do this. She treats bipolars all week, lets me advise her on some.tools & tricks. She KNOWS all of this, but did it to me anyway\n\nCan i file a  professional complaint. An Lcsw?\nCan i inform Emploers/ conferences)\nCan i persue my $40k? Add Pain & suffering?\n\nShe targeted me, fleeced me, dumped me.\n\nIf nothing else I feel  an obligation to warn others she is a \"black widow\" girlfriend , dont date her.", "post_id": "fkma45", "comment_id": "fldk76m"}, {"question": "i guess you weren't as comfortable as you *thought* you'd be.  time to re-negotiate this relationship and make sure you're both on the same page moving forward.", "comment": "Alright so my girlfriend's friend has done some camming/selling of vids and pics of an adult nature to make some extra cash, but she isn't making much right now so she asked my girlfriend if she wanted to make one with her and they could split the profits.\n\nI'm fine with this. I have no problems at all. However today the plan was for them to make a video and I would take the video and pictures too. Right up until they start to my GF decides she doesn't want me watching so I get kicked out with the promise of getting to see the video afterwards. I'm really disappointed but alright if that's what they want then I suppose it's ok.\n\nThey just got done having sex a little bit ago and the lights were off the whole time and my GF told me that basically was practice. And they'll shoot the video soon.\n\nSo now they're just sitting in there talking as far as I can tell from listening. I'm already pretty pissed, and I will be seething if they end up not shooting it or some other circumstance.\n\nAm I in the wrong here? I'm kind of confused on how I should be feeling about this. I thought it was going to be super hot watching them go at it, but now I'm just sitting playing the new Zelda listening to my GF have sex with somebody else. I didn't expect to join in tonight, I pretty much knew it wouldn't happen. \n\nI just wanted to get people's thoughts on the matter and also I wanted something to do other than pacing around the apartment being pissed and possibly hitting things.", "post_id": "61j500", "comment_id": "dfey9oz"}, {"question": "They're not typical, but id still attribute it to your experience of cutting down your trazodone. Nothing dangerous though. Are you keeping your prescriber aware of your dose reductions and adverse experiences?", "comment": "Hi internet,\n\nTL;DR ALERT: ARE THESE SYMPTOMS I PUT IN ALL CAPS BELOW NORMAL WHEN REDUCING DOSAGE OR CUTTING TRAZODONE ALTOGETHER\n\nI've been using trazodone as a sleep aid for nearly 5 years now (add and depression meds had me up all night prior), but due to what i feel is borderline physical dependency, I am looking to get off of it.\n\nBACKSTORY: I used to take 150mg, which would knock me out within 25 minutes, but I cut down to 100 about a year ago with little to no impact on sleep, just had to wait about an hour before it knocked me out. \n\nThe reason i cut down was if I mistakenly missed a day, my body would be a mess the next day. MY BODY TEMPERATURE WOULD FLUCTUATE LIKE CRAZY, I'D FEEL COLD ONE MOMENT THEN ON FIRE THE NEXT. SWEAT TO CHILLS TO SWEAT TO CHILLS ON AND ON. I'D ALSO FEEL A BIT LETHARGIC AND WOULD GET UP MAYBE 2-4 TIMES EACH NIGHT I FORGOT, although falling asleep again was fairly easy.\n\nI am looking to cut down again (from 100mg to 75mg) and looked up common symptoms of Trazodone withdrawal, but I didn't find much in the way of what i experienced. So, I'd like to ask both med professionals/med savvy people and those who have been in the same boat: are these withdrawal symptoms normal and common or should I be concerned about my voluntary weaning off of this? Thank you!", "post_id": "6qokbh", "comment_id": "dkzbor6"}, {"question": "I switched to pot. I am much more in control", "comment": "I've tried a few times, once staying sober for three months. Last night I made a fool of myself in front of my boyfriend's friends at a birthday gathering and I'm sitting here crying because he tried to help me but all I could see last night was him trying to bully me. I can't deal with the crushing drunk guilt any more. Does anyone have any tips whatsoever on how to stay sober?", "post_id": "2jgfm0", "comment_id": "clbqhcg"}, {"question": "I am severely allergic. Tried every breed. Then I tried a Havanese!  Bingo!", "comment": "My wife and I have been together for 7 years now. Ever since we have been dating, I have had very sensitive skin. I break out in hives, stuffy nose, itchy throat, etc. She grew up with dogs, I didn't. My parents recently bought two golden doodles. I was allergic to both at first, but not so much to one anymore, but still allergic to the other. She grew up with dogs her whole life. Her parents have a shi tzu, apparently hypoallergenic, but I say other wise. I have also been around other hypoallergenic breeds but I haven't noticed anything different. I took an allergy test because my parents dogs were making me break out. Come to find out, i'm allergic to everything: trees, grass, weeds, dust, dogs, cats, mold, etc. I am loaded up on medication. I take 2 allergy pills a day (recommend by my allergist), two sets of sinus sprays daily, immunotherapy drops three times a day, and Benadryl when things get really bad and my allergies are a little better but not 100%.\n\nAnyways, she recently has run into some anxiety and we thought a puppy would be a good idea to make her happy. Our friends had Mini Aussies for sale and we bought one. It was only here one night when I broke out in hives, my night was miserable.\n\nI like dogs, but I don't like allergies. My wife is set on keeping him but I'm set on sending him back. I need some advice. Am I wrong for agreeing to get a dog but then sending it back because of my allergies? What should we do?", "post_id": "6s7a79", "comment_id": "dlajnba"}, {"question": "Yes sir! Now that you got that, you can start not trusting your emotions. And then you have a framework that works 90% of the time. Now you are no longer unstable or reactive. Hooray loopholes!", "comment": "- legacy emotions from the distant past (comes up perhaps subconsciously)\n- living in imagination land (so so so often)\n- living in a fantasy script / life that only exist in your mind\n- living in the past\n- replaying the past\n- fighting with people in your head (i do this 27hrs a day 300 weeks a year)", "post_id": "bomife", "comment_id": "enjm37v"}, {"question": "This isn\u2019t what teachers are for. Fuck this world.\n\nI\u2019m so sorry you\u2019ve been put into this situation, OP. I hope you and your students are always safe", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "eof3bt", "comment_id": "fedfzub"}, {"question": "A depressive episode is an ingredient in other mutually exclusive (meaning you can have only one of them) diagnoses such as major depressive disorder, bipolar1, bipolar2, etc.  Since there is a suggestion that a hypomanic episode has occurred that would suggest the correct diagnosis is more likely to be bipolar2.  This is a particularly important distinction for a psychiatrist to get right since the medications typically used to treat MDD can be seriously inappropriate for either form of bipolar disorder.", "comment": "**TL;DR My mom's psychiatrist is convinced my mom had a major depressive episode but is not convinced my mom has major depressive disorder, contrary to the DSM. My mom is prescribed by her psychiatrist to take antidepressants twice a week. She used to take her antidepressants thrice a week and before that she used to take them daily. I am concerned my mom's treatment may be significantly different if her psychiatrist doesn't disagree with the DSM. Please tell me your thoughts.**\n\n \n\n---\n\n \n\nI wasn't concerned when I first heard that my mom's psychiatrist was convinced my mom had a major depressive episode but not major depressive disorder (my mom's previous psychiatrist had diagnosed her with major depressive disorder) because\n\n1. I didn't think one major depressive episode was enough to diagnose major depressive disorder. I thought a major depressive episode was like fever: You get it, you take medication (usually antidepressants), you taper and then you go on with life.\n\n2. my mom may have had hypomanic episodes (so in that case she's bipolar II instead of unipolar).\n\n \n\n**As for 1**, I found out \"depression\" (a major depressive episode) was not like fever or spraining your ankle where you usually don't have \"fever disorder\" or \"ankle spraining disorder\" after just one fever or one ankle sprain.\n\nI asked my psychiatrist about it who told me that one major depressive episode was enough to diagnose major depressive disorder. I read about depression further and realized how severe depression compared to dysphoria or sadness and so began to have some understanding as to why one major depressive episode was enough to diagnose major depressive disorder.\n\n \n\nI asked my mom to ask about the one episode thing. She did and then told me that **her psychiatrist doesn't agree that one major depressive episode was enough to diagnose major depressive disorder.**\n\nI asked my mom to ask about the implications of such, but she forgot to do it.\n\nMy mom is weeks away from seeing her psychiatrist again so I've come to reddit.\n\n \n\n**What would you think of a doctor who disagrees with what seems to be a core definition in the DSM?** I mean, a doctor can't just say for example one manic episode isn't enough to diagnose bipolar I, right?\n\n", "post_id": "4wfr2k", "comment_id": "d675del"}, {"question": "You need to find more appropriate living conditions. Easier said than done, I bet.\n\nIf you have struggled with alcohol dependence, have you thought about medication to maintain sobriety (disulfiram) + support?", "comment": "I am 31 and just getting over a breakup with a long term girlfriend. Long story short, I've been working through some addiction issues that cost me my fiancee, and have been forced to move back in with my father as I'm not currently employed. The good news is I've recently finished a degree in nursing, and all I have left to do is take and pass the state licensing exam.\n\nThe problem is my father is a big drinker. There's no physical violence, but he becomes angry, bitter, and resentful of me whenever he drinks. Not only has this made my own sobriety more difficult to maintain, but his constant threats to 'kick me out' leave me feeling scared and alone. Because of this, it has become practically impossible for me to study since I'm wracked with anxiety and panic attacks. I wake up thinking is today the day that I'm going to become homeless?\n\nI need some practical advice on how to manage both my dad and my own financial/mental well-being. Should I just focus on getting any kind of work to move out as soon as possible? Should I wait it out and try to pass the test after studying for 3-4 more weeks? Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.", "post_id": "5jvh14", "comment_id": "dbje645"}, {"question": "Hey! How are you doing now? I\u2019m sure your stomach was just a little peeved from the alcohol and will settle down quickly.", "comment": "So I had a bit too much to drink last night. Woke up at 4 am on the verge of throwing up (acid reflux). Pretty sure it was the alcohol bc I could taste it in my mouth. I feel better now but my stomach is still a wee bit sensitive. Idk why I keep thinking I\u2019m gonna throw up. I feel fine. I ate, drank some oj and coffee and my stomach didn\u2019t feel worse after that. Hell, I felt better. ://", "post_id": "en9h1m", "comment_id": "fdxkra0"}, {"question": "This is similar to a problem on my job. I work as a psychologist in a hospital. All of my referrals come from physicians, whose psychological-mindedness varies quite a bit. Very often in helping them address the \"problem\" as they see it, I run up against assumptions on their part that can be counterproductive to patient care, and limit their understanding of their patient. The best advice I've received is to consider both the patient and their physician as my \"patient\" in some cases. I'm very careful about trying to educate physicians, even if it will help, because they often are not in the right place to learn.\n\nSimilarly, it may help you to see your clients as outdated hardware that isn't going anywhere, and your task as working around the limitations. It's frustrating for sure, but you can do more good as an employee if you can hang in there, and be gentle with your advice. ", "comment": "I have been working as a computer technician for almost 16 years.  The last five years I have been working as a contractor for various companies.  I am self trained, and do not have a college degree.  Each company I have worked for as a contractor has a Training program that must be completed.  Each time I have completed the training more frustrated than I have ever been at even my most difficult customers.  Sometimes, the information being \"taught\" to us is blatantly wrong or extremely out of date if I am lucky.  What can I do to fix this?  IMHO, this is why the majority of tech support companies have employees that are just horribly bad at their jobs.  I have even had my job threatened multiple times for doing things correctly.  Are we still on planet earth?", "post_id": "5cz8ua", "comment_id": "da1j4oo"}, {"question": "\"Remarkable for X\" means \"X is something that is worth noting.\" Or, more briefly, \"I see X.\"", "comment": "33 Male 6\" 210 No regular meds but currently on Amoxicillin.Stomach Issues\n\nHad stomach ultrasound done yesterday.There was some sludge and they said \"Remarkable for polyps\" What does this mean?\n\nI go back in two weeks for a HIDA and to discuss treatment and possible gallbladder removal.But I'm afraid it's more serious.I'm going insane worrying about polyps.", "post_id": "8zpy2b", "comment_id": "e2kklay"}, {"question": "are you taking meds, or drinking, or pot?\nif not, you're getting so nervous that you're losing focus. people often are not at their sexual best in a new situation. focus on the relationship...getting to know each other.  sometimes fooling around without intercourse can relax everybody.  ", "comment": "So this started a few days ago. I started seeing a new girl and the sex is absolutely amazing but I haven't finished any of the times we've slept together. This has never been a problem for me in the past and I'm genuinely worried/confused about what's going on. Just looking for some insight into what I should do to get my ability to finish back.", "post_id": "5pzvm8", "comment_id": "dcv5nxy"}, {"question": "go to couples counseling. in three months the answer will be obvious.", "comment": "We\u2019ve been dating for 4 years, previously friends. We\u2019re compatible, friendly with one another, etc. But we\u2019ve always struggled with intimacy - both of us want more, but it\u2019s hard for me to feel the spark. I\u2019ve been in a high-stress work environment for the past couple years, which could be part of it, but I also think it\u2019s because I\u2019ve lost attraction for him.\n\n\nSince we\u2019ve started dating I\u2019ve been really focused on growing my career and my personal goals. He\u2019s had a stagnant job that didn\u2019t provide much stimulation, and also doesn\u2019t pursue much outside of it. He cites unhappiness, but hasn\u2019t been willing to change.\n\n\nBecause of this, I always feel like I\u2019m the one bringing something new - like places to go, or events around my friends / social circles - to the table. He\u2019s always along for the ride, and super supportive of me. I don\u2019t mind sharing my life, but wonder what it would be like if we were both contributing. He\u2019s mentioned how he\u2019d enjoy being a SAHD, but that\u2019s not what I envisioned for my relationship.\n\n\nWe\u2019ve done counseling. We got un-engaged, then engaged again, to relieve pressures. A year ago, we moved away, which has given us more space/time to focus on ourselves and each other. But this hasn\u2019t improved. Moving away has made it harder for me to feel comfortable in this \u2013 so maybe I should give it time \u2013 but i don\u2019t think it\u2019s encouraged him to explore his wants/needs.\n\n\nWe\u2019ve talked, a lot. He knows I\u2019m confused as to what to do next. He doesn\u2019t want me to leave, and expresses that all he needs is me. He also said that he thinks he may be depressed, and maybe he needs to get help. This is something I\u2019ve only just started to wonder internally, but has never been acknowledged between us.\n\n\nI\u2019m torn. I know this isn\u2019t a no-deal issue in a relationship. I feel lucky to have what I do now. But I\u2019m not sure this is a normal feeling / dynamic for relationships. And I feel guilty that despite his support I\u2019m not attracted to this. Has anyone come across this? How did you proceed?\n\n\ntl;dr: My fiance and I have been struggling for the past 2 years. How do I know when to walk away?", "post_id": "5ompl6", "comment_id": "dckhepj"}, {"question": "Congratulations!!", "comment": "It isn't much but it took me so long. I was so scared because I thought that having Adhd as well as DID will keep me from being a good business person, but I was wrong. I can do this, and I can do it well. I'm starting slow, but I'm eager to see where it all goes from here. If this business goes well, I will open another one, but in the mean time this will help me get some money to eat and pay bills during this lockdown.", "post_id": "hbicn8", "comment_id": "fvab33x"}, {"question": "Augusten Burroughs has a great metaphor about this in his book *Dry*. While in rehab for alcoholism, he is meeting with his therapist, who is helping him design a plan for \"re-entry\" into the world without going back to his old ways. She is telling him that he will have to make some changes. Like what? \"'Think of a puzzle,' she says. She draws a square and then inside of this adds squiggly puzzle shapes, with one missing piece. 'So this piece here is you.' She draws an individual puzzle piece. 'In recovery, your shape changes. In order for you to fit back into the rest of the puzzle, your life, the other pieces of the puzzle must also change their shapes to accommodate you.'\" He asks, what if the other pieces of the puzzle don't change? What then? \"'Then,' she says, 'you find another puzzle to belong to.'\"\n\nSo it goes in recovery. Painfully and unfortunately, a lot of relationships that one has as an addict can not continue if one really wants to change. It sucks but it also makes space for people who better fit into the new life that you are creating.", "comment": "Hey everyone,\n\nI have been sober since early February from alcohol and I am very proud of it. I previously had 3 years sober, but relapsed very hard last year and then again in January. I was a morning to night, mostly solo drinker and never much of a partier. I am having some confused feelings lately about my sobriety.\n\nI have a small sober circle of friends, but in general most of my friends (including my partner) are not sober. I recently went on a trip with my partner to see my friends and got into some situations I probably shouldn't have been in. My partner essentially chain smoked weed for the entire trip, as did all of my friends. On one particular night everyone decided to drink, smoke and blow coke.\n\nNeedless to say I was shaken. I didn't want to use, but the discomfort was so immense. I felt angry and scared. I felt alienated at being the only sober one there. The only thing I could think to do was to smoke cigarettes and try to ignore it.\n\nHonestly I don't know what to do at this point. My partner's constant smoking bothers me to no end and I don't want to dissolve my relationships with my friends over their substance use, but maybe that is the only course of action. I feel like an absolute baby when I complain about feeling alienated or articulating how uncomfortable I feel in these situations. Have you been in this position before? I am really upset about this.", "post_id": "dp2jkx", "comment_id": "f5t6cpg"}, {"question": "Oh gosh. I don't have time to say everything I want to say right now. But this therapist is behaving poorly in a number of ways. ", "comment": "I am having the hardest time finding a therapist and I want to give up and just watch youtube videos of therapy and read self help books.\n\n​\n\nI just ended it with my 5th one this year because she made me feel like a dollar sign.\n\n​\n\nI went to her because she was willing to work with me for $75. She is a Psychologist.I am sure she is well educated. Her market rate is $180. She asked ME what price worked for me and it was set. Or so I thought. Now today during our session all she was focused on was a 'scholarship agreement\" where she would see me for 30 minute sessions instead of the agreed upon 45 minutes because her reasons are as follows:\n\n​\n\nfair practice dictates that she cannot offer me lower price than other clients\n\nif she agrees to $75 then the minutes will need to be lower\n\n​\n\nI just felt like a dollar sign and I told her that.\n\nI am trying so hard to improve and I have done a lot on my own. I cut out my vices..alcohol and cigs..I practice mindfulness..I do CBT workbooks etc but I cannot find a therapist I trust or who I think has my best interest at heart.\n\n​\n\nIt is so frustrating and now all I want to do is have a beer. \n\n​\n\nI understand therapy is expensive but she agreed to do $75 so why is she focusing so much on that now? \n\n​\n\nMy only other option is to ask my parents to pay for my therapy but I don't want to do that because they have a history of using money as power and guilt tripping me for shit and I don't want to risk that again.\n\nExample: they pay for my therapy and then make me feel guilty for not calling often enough or eventually decide they can't pay anymore and I will be stuck and unable to afford therapy and maybe a meltdown ensues. \n\nso I prefer to do it all on my own so I wont have to deal with the rug being pulled out from underneath me in the future.\n\nI also have a disorder that is highly stigmatized so not even mental health professionals want to deal with me and every time I go to a new therapist and have to re-explain myself and my life story it just gets exhausting.\n\n​\n\nI need advice.\n\nShould I see if my parents will pay it so I can find someone who is decent and money won't be an issue? They said they want to support me any way they can..but again..past experience dictates that they will blackmail me eventually if I don't do what they want me to do.\n\nShould I just try to get better on my own? It feels impossible.\n\nShould I keep shopping around and hope to find someone who will work with me for my price and not waste a whole session discussing it and who will see me for longer than 30 mins? I need more than 30 mins a week. It just doesn't feel like enough.", "post_id": "acxzo4", "comment_id": "edbrwcf"}, {"question": "she simply has different needs than you at the moment", "comment": "The title is a bit concise.\nMy girlfriend and i are both in our first relationship, everything is great when we're together, i love her dearly and she loves me too. But for some reason she cannot make time for me, she goes to college, has a job, couple of friends and she plays sports at a fairly high level. \nI have no problem with any of those intrinsically, because i think its great she has a lot of things going on. Problem is, when scheduling stuff to do, she seems to forget me. I have brought this up several times and she promised to better herself, but now she's gone out again and i'm alone writing this.\nDoes anyone have any advice? Any questions i should ask myself? Thanks in advance!\nEdit; gf is 18, almost 19.", "post_id": "6y39vw", "comment_id": "dmkcgzm"}, {"question": "The frontline non-stimulant ADHD medication is Strattera. Wellbutrin, Clonidine, Effexor, & Intuniv have been shown to work as well, particularly since Wellbutrin isn't a stimulant but acts on the brain like one. \n\nAgain, everyone's experiences with medication is completely different. ", "comment": "My wife has ADHD but her body is EXTREMELY sensitive to stimulants.  She use to take 10MG a day of adderall several years ago but because she stopped sleeping well and basically ate nothing because she was not hungry she had to stop taking it because it was doing more harm then good.  Is there anything out there that can help with ADHD without using a stimulant?", "post_id": "40jdma", "comment_id": "cyull8b"}, {"question": "then you're not ready for a committed monogamous relationship. unless you're both polyamorous, you have to choose between one lifestyle or another", "comment": "Here we go!\n\nTo start of I feel like I'm blessed with the most amazing fianc\u00e9 (4years) and relationship. We do love eachother to the worlds end and we do \"function\" really well together. We are not living together yet as we are waiting for our new house to be built. We travel frequently and we both have good health and employment.\n\nMy fianc\u00e9 is gorgeous, Adriana Lima gorgeous. She is goofy and educated and has a really soft heart for her close ones. We have a good and active sex-life. \n\nEvery relationship has its problems but basically she is everything I ever dreamt of and more!\n\nSo there must be something wrong with me seeking to amuse myself with other methods and girls.\n\nI cant explain why, but I have the need to gett \"off\". If I dont masturbate or have sex alot then my feelings of wanting to have sex with other girls get more extreme. Its not normal I think and to be honest I dont want to have these feelings because I feel like I want to be morally fair and faithfull to her.\n\nIts pure physical attraction and lust that I feel. I feel no need to be loved or to connect with anyone else. Hence why I rather go with a luxury prostitute rather than someone unprofessional. \n\nWhen I'm with my so I never feel the above, but as soon as I'm not busy or I'm business traveling the urge intensifies.\n\nTo this day I have never cheated (if you dont count masturbation to porn as cheating).\n\nI can get away with having sex with other woman to please my urge but Im confused if I really want to. The \"consequences\" will be me facing my moral self everyday and every time I look in to her eyes. At the same time I know that I'm very good at separating things in my mind and have a separate \"box\" for my cheating.\n\nI have been looking at professional girls to turn to with huge excitement(almost never as attractive as my fianc\u00e9 but just different). But as soon as I get off I'm almost regretting even having the slightest tought. I feel proud that I'm faithfull but I'm struggeling.\n\nI have friends going through the same thing (maybe not as extreme).\n\nI really feel like I'm a subject of the cooldige effect but I dont want to blame it on that. \nhttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect\n\nPlease help!\n\nTldr\nHave the best relationship and fianc\u00e9 ever, but still have the urge to have sex/receive pleassure from other women.", "post_id": "5pblej", "comment_id": "dcpxdwe"}, {"question": "There was nothing unethical with what your therapist did.  It's what I would've done, encouraged the therapists I train to do, and is good practice.  \n\n\nIf you're using insurance, the therapist can't bill for a session conducted over the phone.  This means they wouldn't be paid for the session.  Payment aside, your therapist is maintaining healthy boundaries and expectations of you.  \n\n\nIt is your therapist's job to maintain your confidentiality, to support you, and to provide therapy in the form and method they believe will be most beneficial to you.  \n\n\nIt's your job to show up to appointments on time, cancel within a reasonable timeframe (24 hours at least) if you can't make it, and participate in identifying and working towards your own therapeutic goals while in session.  \n\n\nYou didn't hold up your end of the bargain on this day.  \n\n\nIf you expressed to your therapist in the text that you were currently suicidal, they should have called you and made arrangements to have you seen at a hospital whether you voluntarily went or they had to involuntarily hospitalize you.  Short of this, what they did was the right course of action IMO.  \n\n\nI'm sorry you're struggling and I really hope you continue your work in therapy and see some positive changes.  This probably wasn't the answer you wanted to hear, but maybe one you needed to.  Something to keep in mind whether it pertains to your therapy or anything else in your life.  You are still responsible for all of your actions.  No amount of mental illness excuses you from consequences when you don't handle your responsibilities.", "comment": "Hi all, \n\nI have therapy twice weekly, and the particular session in question was early Monday morning.  The sessions have been useful in producing feelings other than frustration at the lack of efficacy I have found in other treatments. The therapist and I have a good relationship. \n\nLate Sunday evening, I was experiencing severe suicidal ideation, but held on until the next morning to discuss it. A reliable indicator that I am doing badly is sleeping through my alarm, which I did. I woke up an hour and a quarter before the session, but as the place we meet is in a location difficult to reach by public transport, I calculated that I would barely have 10 minutes of the session left if I set off then. I texted them to keep them abreast of the situation, and that I would call instead. It was an exceptional situation, but this seemed like the next best thing. \n\nHowever, they replied saying that conducting sessions in the same place was important, and that they would not take a call. To be honest, this made me furious, not only because the fee is expensive, but especially as I was in severe distress, and they refused to discuss anything, or offer any kind of advice. I understand that consistency is very much preferable, but I can't help seeing it as them failing me when I was in dire need, and that I have a legitimate grievance here. \n\nWhat is your take on this?", "post_id": "bb11wa", "comment_id": "ekh258c"}, {"question": "The DSM changed its criteria between IV-TR and 5, so I'm not so familiar, but my understanding of Criterion A4 (repeated exposure to aversive details of traumatic events) indicates that the traumatic events have to be violence with threat of death or sexual violence, and they have to be repeated traumas. The examples given are first responders collecting human remains and police officers exposed to details of child abuse. I'm not sure what context you worked in, but unless you heard repeatedly the intimate details of the abuse I would say that's probably not traumatic stress.\n\nThis is not to minimize your symptomology or suffering. You sound like a very empathic person who is highly emotionally reactive. \n\nDon't forget, too, that you can't \"double dip\" with symptoms. If you have generalized anxiety disorder and major depression, those can account for many of the symptoms that you listed. Does it still sound like PTSD if you take out anything that can be attributed to your other conditions?", "comment": "I don't remember if we went over this in grad school, and I haven't been working in the field for over a decade, but is it possible for a person to have PTSD without a specific triggering event?\n\n**Background**: I have a psychiatrist I trust, and I have been in his care for talk therapy and meds for six years to treat my major depression and my generalized anxiety disorder. Any replies I get in here will not be construed as anyone online giving me medical advice, but they will help me direct a future conversation with my doctor. I earned my Master's in psychology in 2000, so I can \"talk shop\" about many mental health issues, but it's much harder to apply that knowledge to myself. It may be worth noting that I also carry an Asperger's diagnosis.\n\n**All categories of diagnostic criteria except, perhaps for the first one.** I have never been abused. My parents were great. I've never been threatened with violence. My father just died of cancer, but my symptoms have been going on for years. \n\nSo many intrusive memories, flashbacks to \"little (emotional) traumas\" that then trigger physical responses that can last for days, avoidance of things related to emotional traumas (like breakups with old boyfriends, even though I've been happily married for years, or seeing the names of former colleagues who majorly screwed me over), many \"negative alterations in cognitions and mood,\" and 4/6 of the \"alterations in arousal and reactivity.\" \n\n**It is possible** that 9/11/01 could have been an initial triggering event for me. I was working with kids at a psychiatric hospital at the time, and one of our patients had lost someone in the WTC. I had to accompany a 10yo girl to the ER for a rape kit when she was first admitted. Those kids suffered through some horrific forms of abuse that might qualify me for the \"indirect exposure in the line of duty\" part.\n\n**But it's not just the 9/11 anniversaries that set me off**, or news about people hurting kids, or women getting raped. I'd just given birth to our son when Hurricane Katrina hit, and that song about renewal \"Tonight's the Night the World Begins Again\" was played all the time in the fundraisers that followed...I burst into tears at a Goo Goo Dolls concert  last year when they started playing it. A former friend of mine was exceptionally cruel to me in the recent past, and when a song played on my husband's CD in the car yesterday, I had a flashback to sitting across from that friend and hearing that song for the first time as the friend sang along with it. I nearly had a panic attack in the car, and remember it last night in bed had me sobbing into my pillow so much that I had to get up at 3am and turn my computer on to type up a letter to that friend that I probably shouldn't send but probably will anyway.\n\nCould it be PTSD even if the flashbacks and other symptoms aren't necessarily triggered by anything remotely connected to my time working at the psych hospital? **I feel like it's existential trauma, but I don't think that's a thing.** I just want to know if it's an avenue worth exploring with my doctor since I've been going back downhill after having gotten better for a while.", "post_id": "2935id", "comment_id": "cih1888"}, {"question": "Your descriptions sound a bit like depersonalization-derealization. I have had some episodes of DP-DR and it is quite a strange experience. Does the description of that (if you Google it) resonate? Or is what you're talking about something more conceptual or intellectual than experiential?", "comment": "When you read that, you might be thinking that I \u201cdon\u2019t know who I am\u201d or that I need to \u201cfind myself\u201d or something along those lines. All of that pop psychology stuff.\n\nNo. What I mean when I say that I don\u2019t feel like I truly exist in this dimension. I don\u2019t feel....real. I look at myself in the mirror and I can\u2019t say with certainty that that is who I am. I look at my body and understand that this is the body I\u2019m occupying, this is \u201cme\u201d, but I don\u2019t really identify with my physical form. \n\nIf someone asked me to describe who I am, the closest thing I could say would be that I\u2019m my mind. My thoughts. My stream of consciousness. My mind is neither male nor female. It\u2019s some of both. Or possibly none at all. \n\nI guess I live in my mind. And sometimes I get so caught up in my thoughts that it\u2019s hard to focus on the here and now. \n\nWhen I finally realized all of this, it started to make sense why I often feel alienated from people. Why I generally don\u2019t bond with most people I meet. That no matter how much they like me, they don\u2019t ever really *know* me.\n\nThey like what they see me as. How they perceive me. Who I am to them is my physical form and what comes out of my mouth. \n\nI used to wish I knew \u201cwho I was\u201d. I used to want to emulate certain people and be them. I used to want to play the human game and have a very defined and appealing \u201crole\u201d in life.\n\nBut as I get older, I\u2019d just as soon let go of being human altogether. It\u2019s too stressful to constantly make sure you\u2019re an acceptable human and that people approve of you. \n\nIf I could somehow escape into my mind and shed this physical world, I think I probably would.", "post_id": "hht3gr", "comment_id": "fwc8tlz"}, {"question": "for starters, you accept the fact that NOTHING is like NEW. life is a trade off. you can have 'new' every night, or familiar for life. ", "comment": "So I noticed that so many of my girl friends seem to be uninterested in sex with their husbands. Since I have starting taking the pill, I also have had a significant reduction in my own sex drive. Being of a therapy/coaching background myself, I know a lot of the classic tips. Does anyone have any suggestions for what has worked for them? I am also debating if I should stop the pill..Thanks!", "post_id": "5zy4qb", "comment_id": "df20y74"}, {"question": "grief takes time...  you'll get there", "comment": "I recently cut all ties with the girl i was in love with for two years. It is clear that we will most likely never be close again. Please give me some advice on how to get over her, I feel so drained and now i feel like i have no purpose in life, kinda like a part of me was taken away.", "post_id": "5mtdpj", "comment_id": "dc6722j"}, {"question": "Right there with you. The weed stops the need to purge. It\u2019s like I can\u2019t exist without some sort of crutch, and now that crutch is b/p again. But mia doesn\u2019t show up on employment drug screenings, so guess that\u2019s what I\u2019m stuck with now.\n\nI hate living like this. I thought getting clean was supposed to make my life better, but nothing has changed in a good way, only bad.", "comment": "So I'm fuccin bulimic again apparently.. It's like, as soon as I'm really vibing on being sober, and the cravings are abating, I'm falling back on old coping mechanisms. Getting super pumped like \"awwww shit I get to go home, eat some ramen, then throw it the fuck up like I didn't eat anything\". My toilet has never been cleaner my dudes. The ritual is so grounding. \n\nIt's crazy how much weed masks it. I went like 6 years without purging but as soon as I'm sober for any duration it's right back. \n\nAnyone else got eating disorder feels? How does weed affect it??", "post_id": "espw18", "comment_id": "ffbk185"}, {"question": "Hey, hang in there. You are in a shitty situation, no doubt about it, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. \n\nAs others have said, there's not a lot you can control right now, and that can be very nerve-wracking. Try to focus on the things you can control. It's hard to control feelings, exactly, but there are things you can do to take care of yourself and help your body feel a little better. \n\nHave you done breathing exercises before? Take a deep breath, all the way down into your lungs. Hold it there for a few seconds, try to stretch your lungs out. Then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times and count the seconds or your heartbeats - I like multiples of 4 because I'm a music person - like 4 in, 4 hold, 4 out. Then up to 8, maybe more if you like a challenge, but take it slow and listen to your body. After a few cycles your heartbeat should slow down a bit. It takes time to calm down, always, but this can help you focus on the here and now and keep you from getting trapped in your head, as anxiety likes to do to you. \n\nTry to relax your muscles as well. Go through all your muscle groups, from toes up to arms, shoulders, and neck, and flex/relax them slowly. Sometimes we tense up without thinking so this helps you be aware of what your body is doing.\n\nNone of these things make the scary things go away but they can give you something to focus on that isn't the \"what ifs\" and negative thoughts - always try to bring yourself to the present and focus on where you are in reality - Remember that surgeons and doctors and nurses are some of the most well-trained, well-educated folks out there. She's in good hands, she's in the best place she can be right now, and she's having to go through this so she can be healthier in the long run.", "comment": "I\u2019m crying on and off right now. I\u2019m freaking out. My mom\u2019s having open heart surgery and I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019ll do when she\u2019s undergoing her surgery tomorrow. Two of my aunts are going to be there... so I guess that helps a bit, but I already have GAD and my anxiety is going off the charts. Just... f***! I tried looking for information and advice on google, but it\u2019s all stuff for parents to help their children with getting through their surgery. \n\nI don\u2019t know what to do now, and I don\u2019t know what to do while I\u2019m waiting in the waiting room. I\u2019m full on panicking. I feel like I could have a mental breakdown. \n\nMy mom\u2019s the most important person in my life and even if the surgery goes completely well and smooth, she\u2019s still going to be in so much pain after. I\u2019m trying to hang on and be strong, but it\u2019s so hard right now. I want my mommy. I freaking HATE that she needs surgery.", "post_id": "esmlkp", "comment_id": "ffb6iha"}, {"question": "My guess is that you do have something to be angry about, maybe you just haven't quite figured out what it is yet or haven't been ready to face it head on.  I'd also suggest talking to a therapist.  Usually having an objective viewpoint is helpful in figuring it out. It's usually not fun to be angry and can be very destructive, but the more you fight it, the worse it can get.  I believe the best thing you can do is accept that you're angry, learn to be okay with it, and do something productive with it rather than waiting until it bubbles over and leads to destructive habits.  \n\nJust posted this article on my blog literally about 15 minutes ago.  Give a read.  Maybe it'll be helpful.\n\nhttp://thewebshrink.com/anger-management-and-punk-rock/ ", "comment": "I keep having random moments of sheer anger or helplessness. I don't know why or what is causing it, all I know is that nothing is directly happening around me to make me feel like I should be angry. It happens when I'm alone, with friends, family and even my partner. \nHas anyone experienced similar feelings, and know what was causing it and how they addressed the problem? \nI really feel like I need help on this, I feel like it's negatively effecting my own mental health as well as my relationships with others.\nI can elaborate further with questions, help would really be appreciated. \nThank You.", "post_id": "6sxayd", "comment_id": "dlgfavg"}, {"question": "stale is what you feel, not what you do. just have fun, and if it's not, then do something else.", "comment": "Me and my girlfriend have had trouble in the past, but recently I realized one of my own personal failings is that I didn't put enough emotion in to the relationship. I rarely enforced the idea that I loved her and I always thought that saying it once was enough. So recently when we went to the movies and noticed that Tuesdays were 5$ movie night, she said we should see more movies. I told her we could make Tuesday date night and go see a movie every week if she wanted to. She seemed really for it.\n\nMY question is, how do I keep this from getting stale? So far we have really enjoyed it and cuddle during the movie and whisper and have fun, but I'm scared that over time the idea of going out every single week won't have the same charm for us. ", "post_id": "63vkl4", "comment_id": "dfxeq4r"}, {"question": "Please be aware that there is a branch of pseudoscience/pseudomedicine that likes to diagnose and treat nonexistent thyroid problems. Thyroid problems cause a lot of symptoms that are nonspecific; that is, they are also symptoms of a lot of things that aren't thyroid problems. That's what seems to be the case for you.", "comment": "Hi there med people\n\nSo, I'm having a TSH that's a bit high, and I'm a bit worried about it as I have read that anything above 3 or even 2,5 is abnormal even though the normal ranges go up to 5.\n\nMy TSH is 3,4 (0,3-4) at the moment. I have been tested a few times the last year and it always comes in between 2,5-5. My doc told me I'm negative for antibodies which I didn't understand the meaning of but I understood that it was a good thing.\n\nI'm suffering from very dry skin on my face and my legs and I'm having difficulty sleeping/being calm. Also having trouble concentrating and I have lost quite a bit of hair.\n\nAt what point do you start patients on medication? I would rather not take anything. On the other hand I don't want to suffer the consequences of walking around with inadequate amounts of thyroid hormone. I'm afraid of harming my body and dying early, basically...\n\nSo what's your view on the current normal ranges, and guidelines for treatment of hypothyroidism? Should the normal range be lowered? Is a TSH of 3-4 normal? Do you want until a certain TSH before starting treatment (my doc says >10)?\n\nI'm 23 y/o, female. Eat very healthy but work at a desk, sitting all day.. 55 kg, 170 cm.\n\nThanks in advance\n\nOlivia.", "post_id": "9hcwx0", "comment_id": "e6bin8k"}, {"question": "This doesn't sound irrational at all.  Dating means a lot more serious implications given your culture than it does for us non-religious folks.  \n\n\nIt sounds like although you don't agree with your mother's beliefs, you haven't decided whether or not you wish to rebel against them and face the backlash.  \n\n\nI'm sure you've asked yourself a million times, \"What would happen if I dated a non-muslim?\"  \"What would happen if I dated a non-Arab?\"  etc.  \n\n\nThe truth is you don't really know but could make some educated guesses how your family would react on the spectrum of \"eh.... no big deal\" to completely disowning you.  \n\n\nDating in and of itself is very stressful and you only feel less stress the more you do it.  Dating while being part of a culture with so many restrictions exponentially increases the stress, especially if casual dating/casual sex is forbidden or frowned upon.  If this is the case and you plan to stay true to your culture and faith (or keep up the fa\u00e7ade), dating essentially means that you have to find the perfect or best person for you before even initiating the dating process (which in and of itself I'd argue is nearly impossible.)\n\n\nOne of my very best friends in the world comes from a Muslim family who emigrated to the states from India just before he was born.  He was the rebel in his family.  He didn't believe in organized religion as a whole and didn't live according to the rules set by his parent's interpretation of their faith.  For a very long time his parents distanced themselves from him and he did the same with them, despite their family being pretty close.  He married a non-Muslim white girl.  It took his parents forever to come around to the idea but eventually they did.  He knew that if he didn't do what he wanted to do and also be honest about his life with his parents (while also not trying to rub it in their faces unnecessarily) he wouldn't be happy.  \n\n\nOn the other hand, I have worked with many clients whose families followed through on their threats of disowning them, and they haven't spoken to them since.  As sad as most of them are, many believe they're living happier lives living how they want and simply live with the hope their family will come around.", "comment": "i\u2019m 22 and i have an irrational fear of dating or even talking to men i\u2019m attracted to. i consider myself a combo of introvert/extrovert, as i have no problem being outgoing with my friends or people i\u2019m not attracted to. \n\nbut that\u2019s completely different when it comes to boys? i\u2019ve never dated, confessed attraction, or even kissed a guy and i\u2019m starting to think it\u2019s an issue with me. in fact, sometimes i go out of my way to avoid men i\u2019m attracted to \n\ni grew up in a muslim household with a lot of restrictions. i couldn\u2019t hang out with boys and i was not allowed to date under any circumstances. as i get older, i am pretty much forced to find a husband as soon as possible to fit my moms standards: some of which i don\u2019t agree with ... like:\n\n- my mom refuses to have my date anyone who isn\u2019t a muslim\n- she highly encourages me to only date arabs\n- they must have a good job/make as much money as me. i am studying to be a lawyer. one time i told her i was going on a date with an arab muslim, and when i said he was a nursing major she told me she would never accept him. it was the first. date. \n- she wants me to get engaged within a very short time period from when i meet the guy. \n\ni honestly think that my moms perception of love and marriage really is taking a toll on my love life. this is also difficult for me because i have secretly left islam and i don\u2019t believe in the rule of dating strictly muslims (obviously). i can\u2019t tell her i\u2019ve left islam. how do i address this?", "post_id": "ec6agm", "comment_id": "fbb1t5h"}, {"question": "Your fears seem very well founded. Sorry duder. ", "comment": "Brief backstory, we're both at uni, met through a mutual friend. Been together since November, actually began dating in February. We're very similar, which means we can both read each other very well to see when something is up, bothering up, hiding something, etc.\n\nRecently, she went home for the weekend. While there she went out one night with a couple girlfriends and some guys. Now most of the time when she's home or goes out, she stops responding to messages as often, understandable because well busy. But this night, one of the guys she was with was a guy that I knew had frequently asked her to \"come cuddle\" \"come get weird\" and other things, but she always ignored them and said he's just a weird friend. Well this night, I woke up from nightmare and decided to call her (it was well into the morning, about 4am so I figured she'd be home and not a big deal). She ignores the call and immediately texts me \"hey what's up? I'm busy and can't talk right now.\" I told her not to worry and said we'll talk later. I thought it was odd but tried not to think much of it. \nNext day, she texts me around noon \"hey sorry I passed out at my gf's house and my parents are just pissed I didn't come home\". Later the next day when we're talking in person the story changes to \"I took my gf home and then tried to get home but lost my key so I went to my other gf's house who was nearby.\" \nWith how weird that felt, and some other stuff that happened in the past, I got on her phone (immature I know), and found messages to that one guy, and some other friends saying how she slept at his place, she kept stealing his blanket all night, etc etc. Next morning I brought it up to her and she gets angry, not that I went through her phone to find it, but that I was making us talk about it. After briefly talking about it, where she tried to lie to me about it (saying \"no I went to my gf's house\" before I told her I went through her phone) and then just kept saying \"I didn't think it was a big deal, but I knew it wouldn't make you happy so I just didn't want to tell you. The real kicker came later when she said she lied about it to me \"because I had given my parents that lie so many times I just believed it was the truth.\" After that, she got mad and we went to class.\n\nLater that day she texted me and began trying to blame me for getting upset, for not trusting her, for bringing it up, for other misc issues we'd had in the past. This continued for a week until the weekend when we talked. tl:dr from that talk ended with us agreeing to work on things and to try and communicate better, but, as she put it, \"You can't have any access to my phone or computer.\"  Now, normally in past relationships I've both never cared to go through someones things like that, and never thought I had a need to. With her I feel like there will be things, like that night, that I will never know about unless I find out by doing something like that (she did agree with me saying that as she said there were somethings that I just didn't need to know.) She did agree, though, that if someone said something to her or someone did something she would tell me. Issue is, I already saw a message come up on her lockscreen from an ex saying \"hey snap me back ;)\"\n\nAt this point I'm trying to allow myself to trust her completely again, but its difficult. Not to mention she went out with friends last night and said it was just the girls, when there are pictures with a guy's arm around her but the guy cropped out (hairy arm with a watch, sorry but not likely a small girl). \n\nWhat do y'all think? In general, am I overreacting and should trust her more? Or is there more to this.\n\ntl;dr girlfriend lied, caught in lie, lied again, got angry that I feel I can't trust her as much as she wants even though she intentionally hides things about other guys from me.", "post_id": "683lod", "comment_id": "dgvdw5i"}, {"question": "She's snapping with you all the time and then getting shy in person. She may like you AND some other dudes. She may give accurate, complete, up to date info to some of her friends or not, and the quality of the info that gets back to you may vary. \n\nI am not detecting a master plan. \n\nJust ask her out.", "comment": "So I [M17] met this girl [F16] one day when in geography wed a free class and she decided shed sit beside me and chat for a bit. And a few days later added me on sc. We snapped back and fourth for the last 8-10 weeks and we'll sorta take turns starting the conversations. And at the start I just figured she liked me,and I began to like her too. But then in the last 2 weeks. She apparently told a few people that she likes this other guy. Which is ok if she did. But what I don't get is,why are we still snapping hard? And why does she still look at me all awkwardly in school? And why when sometimes when we're outside our class,will neither of us talk to one another all awkwardly. But then when I get home. She has no bother snapping me? And it's obvious that she is looking at me aswell. A number of my friends even see her do it? \n\nPlease someone tell me what she is doing?!?!?", "post_id": "69kt50", "comment_id": "dh7c6ij"}, {"question": "I'm sorry you've experienced but sadly I'm not surprised.  For as long a I've been working in the mental health field almost every psychiatrist I've worked with has been intensely overworked.  For the last 2 agencies I've worked with psychiatrists rarely if ever make telephone calls back to clients.  Usually the receptionist will or it's left to the therapist.  The best piece of advice I can give is to get a therapist that you are seeing weekly.  Although we're often overworked too, in my experience, most therapists are much better at calling back and/or getting you connected with your psychiatrist when needed.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)\n", "comment": "Good day! Although for me it is not a good day. I suffer from Major Depression with psychotic features and today is not a good one.\n\nMy request is for new psychiatrists to understand how difficult it is (in the US) to find a psychiatrist, first, who takes new patients, hasn't switched to children only, that takes my particular insurance, and WILL CALL YOU BACK. This combination is almost never possible.\n\nI have an anecdote to illustrate. In August last year, I almost committed suicide. My doctor and I had been gradually lowering my anti psychotic dosage, and I didn't realize that I was obsessing again over a certain thing. When the day came when I was finally told that thing would never happen, I was devastated. My whole world crumbled and I wrote notes, figured out who would find my body, made preparations and was about to do it.\n\nOut of the blue a friend messaged me online. My thought at the time was, I'll never talk to her again, why not play a game with her online for the last time. Well, thankfully this distracted me long enough for me to fall asleep without doing it.\n\nSo the next week (it was Friday night), I attempted to contact my psychiatrist. This was a big provider in the area, (Let's call them Big O). First they suggest logging into the online portal and sending a message directly to my doctor. This didn't work because my doctor wasn't configured on the portal.\n\nSo my first call to Big O was to get the doctor set up so I can message him. I was told that he couldn't get on there because he was mental health. (This wasn't true, because my previous mental health doctor was on there. They change doctors every year (student doctors, i think they are called interns).\nSo I asked how do I send a message?\n\nThe operator said, \"I'll take the message and give it to the doctor.\" No call back. Two days later I tried again to message the doc through the operator. No call back. Ok, how about move my next appointment sooner? Sorry, no available times.\n\nSo I took it upon myself to up my dosage to what is was before we started lowering it. The good news is that my work actually cares about it's people and understands taking a few days off for mental health crisis. So I did while I stabilized. Still no call back.\n\nAfter about a week I was feeling ok enough to go back to work and just wait for my next appointment. When it came, I told the doctor the story. He said he never got any messages, and that I did the right thing by upping the dosage. (Why should I have to self prescribe?)\n\nSo I looked for another doctor. I found one, and the first appointment, I told her the story. She said she would be more available to me. Also that someone would call me for my next appointment. They didn't. So far I have left 3 messages on two different lines for my doctor or her nurse, over the course of 3 weeks and nothing.\n\nI understand you are busy as doctors, but you have no idea what it's like as a mental health patient to get care. Please call us back, or even have one of your staff call. What is so hard about that?\n\nThank you for listening.", "post_id": "7xsvlq", "comment_id": "duc5gyz"}, {"question": "I think that cleanliness is one of those issues, like monetary habits, that can be a deal-breaker. You have to decide whether you can deal with her messiness, exactly as it stands right now, for the long term; if not, break up. Sounds like a petty issue, but as a VERY messy person I can tell you: vastly different levels of cleanliness can make you end up hating one another.", "comment": "We are mid twenties and have lived together for a year now.  When I moved in with her, she blamed her old room mates for the large mess that our place was in.  It has come a long way, but she is still very sloppy.  When I ask her to clean something she gets really defensive and suggests that I should help her clean up her messes since we are in a relationship and \"we should share burdens.\"  I already do more than my fair share of the chores around the house.  All I'm asking her to do is clean up after herself.  Is there any good way to relate this to her?", "post_id": "m44hn", "comment_id": "c2y0dzv"}, {"question": "I've never needed trigger warnings either, but I acknowledge then that they are not for me but for the people who do benefit from them.", "comment": "As someone with PTSD does anyone else think the whole trigger warnings idea is rubbish?\n\nLots of small, tiny things trigger me  - some make no sense at all like a colour or a smell. Yet someone can mention something more related to the cause of my PTSD without it affecting me.\n\nI Am not some fragile individual who needs too to be protected. I want to get over this PTSD and everyone walking on eggshells won't help and is patronising", "post_id": "259t6b", "comment_id": "chfd9uu"}, {"question": "It looks like the research on your cancer has been done at M.D. Anderson in Houston. Their research oncologists have (literally) saved the life of my best friend, who had developed a rare, aggressive form of leukemia. If you can scrape up the funds, please go down there to get on one of their clinical trials. They work miracles.\n\n​\n\nBest wishes to you!", "comment": "31/Male\n138lbs\nAsian/White\nDiagnosed late September with stage 4 signet ring adenocarcinoma of the urachus after partial cystocopy/partial bladder removal. Currently doing radiation to reduce tumor growth on spinal column and just completed my 6th cycle out of 10. Waiting to hopefully get into a clinical trial as my infusion of cisplatin/5FU did not work to stop mestastatic growth.\nTaking Dexamethasone to reduce swelling caused by radiation. \n\nI have a very rare cancer called Signet Ring Adenocarcinoma of the Urachus. The prognosis is generally pretty poor, they thought age was on my side but this was always going to be tough with my late stage diagnosis. Now the disease has spread to my spinal column. 11-12 tumors in total with the one on my t7 being fairly advanced and the one on my t4 appearing to be a threat. I am now becoming very paranoid about where else this horrible cancer is hiding. I have accepted that even as a 31 year old this may be my final year of life as stated by the doctor. My question is, if this is my final run. What will my forseeable future look like? What does the progression of the disease start to look at for quality of life? How significantly will the pain increase? Will I still be able to maintain some semblance of my day to day? I know these are a lot of questions and given the rarity of my disease, not a lot of data, or experience will exist to inform me. I guess at this point I am asking in general and looking for advice on anyone who has had a progressive slide with any cancer and an increasingly dire prognosis. I lost my mom earlier this year but she was taken swiftly and within three months. She was here one day and then gone just as quickly. I didn't get to witness a progression because it was already so progressed and she didn't talk about it much. I feel so lost right now.", "post_id": "aa0h0k", "comment_id": "ecpl8pi"}, {"question": "help her get out", "comment": "My girlfriends is verbally and emotionally abusive, and I know he has hit her multiple times in the past. The hitting hasn't happened recently, although when he yells at her it always gets extremely close (eg. him raising his arm about to hit her/threatening to hit her). \n\nHe's extremely short tempered, irrational, has extreme anger issues (he gets angry at almost nothing), hypocritical, impossible to argue or even have a logical talk with, and throws temper tantrums (breaks plates, etc). He's the type of person to always think he's right, and this is extremely hard for my girlfriend because when he makes irrational demands, she has to either suck it up and do as he says or try to argue/reason as to why he's wrong, which never works because he'll just not admit it and find something else to criticize her on and will get more angry and threatening. She's also a super sensitive person and easily overwhelmed by emotions so when things escalate, she gets really anxious and nervous and too scared to come out of her room, in fear that he'll keep yelling/will hit her. Most of the time, what he's yelling about is totally insignificant (eg. when he completely flipped his shit because her room was SLIGHTLY messy)\n\nHer mother has nothing to do with it, is a really good and level headed mother, and also finds the same issues in her husband. One time he was so irrational during an argument that she was set on filing for divorce before they somehow made up. If I were to take action, I am not too worried about my girlfriend losing out on financial support or anything because her mom makes most of the money in the family anyway.\n\nHe's not a totally shitty father and still does housework and cooks for the family, pays for some living expenses, and he's not angry all the time either. But their relationship has gotten bad to the point where she says they have never had a talk that doesn't involve objective purpose (ie. what do you want to eat). And when he does get angry and starts throwing a tantrum, at my girlfriend or her mom, it becomes impossible to talk to him when 95% of the time he is definitely in the wrong.\n\nMy girlfriend doesn't want me to get involved, saying that if I do something like report him, or call 911, things will get worse for her because he'll be more angry that she/I reported him. She would rather just suck it up. But I have heard him yelling in the background while I'm calling her and it makes me so sad because she's actually the one that's right almost all the time, but forced to take the verbal abuse because of his irrationality.\n\nI really want to help her in a way thats more than just cheering her up again after every one of his tantrums, but I dont know if I should/how I should.", "post_id": "71fzho", "comment_id": "dnai5mz"}, {"question": "I'm not sure what's going on really. I think it is prudent to get epilepsy etc excluded by neurology. The only other thought I had was the possibility of dissociative episodes (secondary to anxiety or your way of managing your emotions in general).\n\nYour doc seems to be doing the right thing though. Keep us updated.", "comment": "Hi everyone. I've been having some troubling symptoms for a while now, and it's getting worse. Before I get any comments about how I should go see a doctor, I have and I'm waiting on a neurologist to call so we can set up an EEG. \nThe other morning, I lost my glasses. When I tried to retrace my steps to try and find them, I realized that I didn't remember anything I did after work that night. I got off at work around 4 pm, so it wasn't like I just went home and went to bed. My phone shows that I called and texted a few friends and had a relatively normal conversation. This isn't a rare occurrence for me either. It happens quite often. \nAnother thing that's happening is sometimes I forget what numbers are. Like they have no meaning behind them. They're just symbols at that point. Which gets me in trouble at work because I work in a retail store where we have to get your phone number or we get in trouble. \nThe scariest thing that's happening is there are times where I (for lack of a better term) pass out. Apparently I get really nauseous and say I need to lay down, which it ends up being on the floor the the majority of the time since I (according to the people I'm with) don't have the energy to walk to a more comfortable place to sleep. There are times that I just fall out. It happened a couple weeks ago in a public bathroom and my boyfriend had to send someone in there to check on me. After I realized what was going on, I was insanely disoriented. \nThe reason why I'm posting is hopefully so someone can explain further what might be going on. I trust my doctor and his judgement. I don't believe he'd send me to a neurologist if he didn't think it was necessary. I don't drink or do drugs. I take lamictal, prozac, Xanax (as needed), an iron pill, and a few eye drops for my glaucoma. I'm about to be 21 if that matters. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, glaucoma, and an iron deficiency. \nAlso, sorry for any typos and whatnot. I'm typing on my phone and I'm not having a good day mentally anyway. ", "post_id": "5vomrm", "comment_id": "de4ua0k"}, {"question": "The Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) mandates now that health insurance plans cover some form of mental health care as well, so you should have some options. That being said, it won't cover all therapists. Find your health insurance's website and look for a list of accepted providers.\n\nBefore you start with a doctor, I'd consider seeing a therapist a few times. Not everyone with depression requires anti-depressants, so best start off just seeking psychotherapy (it is more effective in the long-term anyways). If your therapist feels that you would benefit from a combined therapy/medicine approach, then he'll likely refer you to a psychiatrist for a prescription. Most insurance covers anti-depressants, so if your providers feel that is a needed option, it shouldn't be anymore than a 10-20 dollar co-pay per month. ", "comment": "I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong place; it seemed like /r/depressoin and/r/mentalhealth were neck and neck for this post.\n\nI know self diagnosis is generally a bad idea, but assuming I have depression, I have a few questions. First, I'm on my mother's insurance, and she's a teacher, meaning we get state insurance (We're in the USA). I know I'll probably have to ask, but do most government employee insurance providers cover therapy and medication for mental problems? And, where do I start? I imagine a doctor has to write the prescription, but I'm sure a therapist would have to okay it first. So who should I go to first? And last, about how much would this cost out-of-pocket if insurance doesn't cover it? We come from a poor family and if this is going to make me bankrupt I may as well just go back to sleeping all day.", "post_id": "161v9p", "comment_id": "c7rzo5p"}, {"question": "Not enough information. Alcohol affects some antibiotics. Some antibiotics affect alcohol. Most have no effect either way.", "comment": "Sex: male\nAge: 30\nHeight and Weight: 6\u20191 195\nRace: White \n\nHad to take some antibiotics and went out drinking a bit later. Will they still work?", "post_id": "aarq97", "comment_id": "ecuhdy1"}, {"question": "What does your wise mind tell you?", "comment": "I help people every day with similar problems, but my emotional mind tells me I'm a fraud and I caused my trauma and forever doomed to existing in a state of fear. I honestly feel I have been cursed or tainted in a way that can't be repaired. I have been in treatment twice weekly for 7 years and I am better in many ways, but I wonder if I will ever not feel like my soul is damned.  I hate who I have become, a shell of a formerly innocent kid with endless optimism. ", "post_id": "71nq9z", "comment_id": "dncbmdj"}, {"question": "Avoidance tends to increase avoidance. In other words, this might grow bigger if you don't try to break the cycle by doing what you are afraid of. This is called exposure with response prevention and a therapist can help you if doing it alone is too hard.", "comment": "Title. I have no fear going out with a friend, but by myself it feels different.\n\nIf I want to go to get groceries, I will sometimes wait until my roommate wants to go too. I also order groceries/meals with delivery to avoid going out. (I live in a big city).\n\nI also have a fear of running into people I know, and being forced into an impromptu conversation with them.\n\nIf I have an appointment somewhere, school/work, then I have no problem going out because it feels... justified.\n\nAlso, once I'm already out, I'm more willing to go to additional places by myself.\n\nI see this as part motivational issues, part self consciousness, part fear of people.\n\nWhat do you think, reddit? Any advice?", "post_id": "ch4inj", "comment_id": "euq7ktv"}, {"question": "that's fine", "comment": "This girl and I have been going out for a few weeks (Everything I want and more). I broke up with my ex in October this year, after 2 1/2 years. I been noticing the silly things I used to do with my ex like winking at her all the time and saying stuff I used to say with my ex, I say to her. Everytime I notice it, it reminds of my ex. Which I told my gf that I'm over and believe that I'm over her. But she pops up in my mind every once in a while and it makes me wanna talk about her\n\nIs this unhealthy? How can i stop myself from thinking bout? \n\nWhat's your advice?", "post_id": "5penqf", "comment_id": "dcqkvd5"}, {"question": "It's extremely, extremely unlikely that you're going to go through withdrawal from taking a low dose less than daily on average for less than two weeks.\n\nYou'll be fine.", "comment": "** as mentioned below I have an upcoming appointment with a psychiatrist on 4/24. Just looking for some advice/comfort here to help me last until then **\n\nSo on 4/5/18 I was prescribed .5mg of Clonazepam (Kolonopin) twice daily as needed. \n\nI took half of a dose the first day, Thursday (so .25mg)\n1 pill on Friday (.5mg) (4/5)\n1 pill on Saturday (4/6)\n1 pill on Sunday (4/7)\n1 pill on Monday (4/8)\nNone on Tuesday (4/9)\n1 pill on Wednesday (4/10)\nAnd then none until tonight, 4/16. I took half (.25)\n\n(Sunday - Tuesday is hard to remember though, but counting my pills I have 54 left and I started with 60)\n\nStupidly, I deceived to research how habit forming and addictive these can be and it\u2019s starting up my anxiety again. I didn\u2019t realize the long half life can actually make you more dependent and addicted. \n\nI\u2019m now worried I\u2019ve taken too many and I\u2019m scared I\u2019m gonna experience withdrawal symptoms. I don\u2019t plan on taking one tomorrow, but I\u2019m worried about what is going to happen. \n\nI have been prescribed benzos before (about 8 years ago) and used them very sparingly - they wound up expiring. That\u2019s how little I took them. \n\nI\u2019m worried that me taking 6 in 12 days (some consecutively) of this benzo has / will negatively effect me. \n\nIf your experience have I over done it?? Will I experience those scary withdrawal symptoms?\n\nI do have an appointment with a psychiatrist on 4/24 so I just have to hold off until then, but just to hold me over for the week I\u2019m looking for some comfort before my anxiety sky rockets causing me to want to take another (but I won\u2019t) \n\n", "post_id": "8csxo2", "comment_id": "dxhm1bm"}, {"question": "everything great is hard work. if you hit a serious snag get prof. help", "comment": "Granted we are both kinda old. 39(F) 38(M) and both divorced with four kids total. So we kinda have lotsa baggage. We have been dating 1.5 yrs and it's just been one communication issue after another and some personality clashes, and plus our emotional baggages, it's just so hard. I don't even know if we are on the same page sometimes. Only thing that is working in our favor is we are still fighting for it to work. We don't sweep things under the carpet and we try to talk and deal with it as it comes. But it's exhausting too. I do feel we are communicating better and things are improving slowly but so many more things to iron out still. I have only been in one 18yr long relationship before this and the dynamic was completely different so I have no idea if this is normal or good or not. Need advice! ", "post_id": "61ecxt", "comment_id": "dfe0fh5"}, {"question": "I don\u2019t get anxiety in the store usually; it\u2019s more like I get sooooo tired even just walking in from the parking lot, and the fatigue gets worse the longer I\u2019m there. Eventually I start to feel depressed. Sometimes it can be to the point where I feel totally unable to focus on getting my stuff so I\u2019ll just leave without buying anything, or I\u2019ll hastily grab a couple staples and jet, then get pissed at myself later because I don\u2019t have everything I need.", "comment": "Grocery shopping is a real nightmare for me. The moment that I walk in to a grocery store I start to feel very anxious.  There are people everywhere and everyone is blocking the pathways. I also tend to have a problem with focussing on all the products in the store as I walk past them. There are just way to many products and I can\u2019t process everything at once. And in the end I just start panicking for no reason. \n\nGrocery shopping with someone is even more of a nightmare. It always ends up in some sort of an argument, because when I start to panic, the only thing I want is to leave asap. Unfortunately that is not always possible so my panicking/stressing about nothing gets even worse. Also the person I\u2019m with thinks that I\u2019m overreacting and being a drama queen, when this is really how I feel. Sometimes I almost cry out of stress. I always feel like such a little crybaby, because when I really think about it, grocery shopping is something so easy and simple, yet I seem to avoid it as much as possible. \n\nIs there someone who experiences grocery shopping relatively the same as me? Sometimes I think that I might be crazy to make such a big thing about something so small and easy. (Also sorry for my English, I\u2019m not a native English speaker.) ", "post_id": "abopbc", "comment_id": "ed209h9"}, {"question": "I do have a lot of experience working with folks with Schizophrenia.  While it can certainly manifest differently in everyone, this doesn't sound like a lot of the common symptoms and behaviors of someone with schizophrenia when compared to folks I've worked with.  Some of it does of course, the hallucinations, delusions, flight of thought, but all of it together all at once and the manic aspect of waking up and wandering around along with the lack of memory seem to suggest it's something different or something more.     \n\n\nMy first thought is that he should get checked out by a medical doctor or team of medical doctors to determine if there are any medical issues causing these psychotic symptoms and behaviors.\n\nWith schizophrenia, one of the most important factors that separates out the individuals who have it and can lead full lives without the disorder taking away their ability to function is early diagnosis and consistent medication.  The longer someone goes without getting medicated, educated on the illness, and engaged in therapy, the more likely the person is going to have difficulty seeing their delusions as part of their illness as opposed to believing that hallucinations and associated delusions are objectively real.  \n\n\nBest of luck!  Get him to a doctor ASAP!  ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8io4y7", "comment_id": "dytfuuu"}, {"question": "D&D is one of my absolute favorite hobbies.  I even have a D20 tattoo as part of my treant sleeve.  :-)\n\n\nAs a therapist, I'm working on starting a private practice that runs D&D groups to help kids and teens with social skills and social anxiety among other things.  Still trying to figure out better ways to advertise in my area and waiting for it to pick up since it's a pretty niche thing.   ", "comment": "Last year my friend dragged me along to a RPG campaign and I really didnt think it would be my thing. The thought of role playing and having to talk to a group of people was my idea of a bad time. At first, when I was new to the game I would sit there just listening until the story reached some combat or the DM directly addressed me about what I wanted to do. I was also much the same in everyday social situations.\n\n​\n\nFast forward to present day where I am contributing much more in the game and I now go out of my way to interact with other humans in day to day life.   \n\n\nLoving how D&D has been helping with my confidence interacting with the humans. Even asked a girl out on a date, she is now the unfortunate owner of me as a boyfriend for over 4 months now. ", "post_id": "b1f6zy", "comment_id": "eilkd5j"}, {"question": "not 100%", "comment": "My boyfriend ( 18 M ) and I ( 21 F ) have been dating for 4 years. I recently found out he (18 M ) cheated on me ( 21 F ) he (18M) cried when I confronted him. We broke up for one week because he came back crying. Will cheaters always be cheaters or do people change ? ", "post_id": "71prjl", "comment_id": "dncoiqa"}, {"question": "Hey friend, I can relate. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 2 years ago, and she passed last year. Staying away from drugs was incredibly difficult, especially after she passed and there were leftover opioids I had to dispose of. All I can suggest is spend as much time learning the life lessons that he has to teach. I still find myself clinging to the talks we could still have. ", "comment": "Hey guys, \n\nBeen a while since my last post. I found out this weekend that my dad has less than a year. I'm still processing this and trying figure out what I need, but needless to say I'm devastated. I don't think I've ever felt an emotional void quite like this. \n\nNaturally, my immediate instinct is to smoke the fuck up, just to feel more comfortable in my numbness. I really want to hide myself away from the world and do absolutely nothing, and I want to feel OK doing so. The temptation is almost overwhelming. I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm looking for here, maybe some advice on staying sober throughout bereavement? But either way, it's helping to type it out. \n\nOver the past year, I've managed to successfully hang out with my pot head friends without being too bothered by it. Some of these people are my closest friends. Now I find myself avoiding a decent chunk of my support network, because I know being with them will make me want to smoke. They're good people - none of them would pressure me to do so, and all of them would check I was absolutely sure before passing me a J. But all it would take is for me to ask twice and I'll be right back at day 0 again. \n\nTo make matters worse, my brother came over and brought my dad some cannabis infused chocolate to help his appetite. He had to leave before being able to give it to him, so I'm now carrying around this baggy with me until the next time I visit my dad. It would be so easy to just have a nibble. Grrrargh, fuck this, I feel so lost :( ", "post_id": "7x0wbv", "comment_id": "du5q9wl"}, {"question": "A combination of therapy, time, and self awareness.   Having a secure base in friends and a significant other.  Increased ability to practice mindfulness.  Building confidence in my ability to handle the symptoms.  \n\nI don't know exactly when it happened, but at some point, flashbacks and anxiety attacks stopped being huge ordeals whenever they happened.   They became so familiar that now when I get them, I simply say, \"oh, it's you (PTSD) again\" and spend a few minutes or seconds winding myself down.   \n\nInstead of the intrusive thoughts being like a creepy armed home invasion, they are now more like annoying telemarketer calls.  I guess I've learned how to hang up.", "comment": "How do you deal with flashbacks, panic attacks, etc\nTherapy? Medication? Both?\nExercise? Playing games? Hobbies?\nand marijuana users?\nI'm proud to say I have gotten everything way more under control in these past few months than in the almost 4 years since my car accident. I just want to see what i could be doing right or wrong, what i can do more of, and hopefully others will learn from it\n\nedit: thank you everyone so much! and if anyone needs anything, i mean anything, pm me whenever. according to my friends, im pretty good at listening. and, in turn, helping everyone else helps me with my issues. somehow lol. anywho, have an awesome night/day/morning whatever time it is when you read this", "post_id": "12s8yg", "comment_id": "c6ymtgo"}, {"question": "When she\u2019s around, calmly leave. \nTell your friends you don\u2019t want to hear about what she\u2019s up to. \nGet on with your life and stop spending time pondering her motives or her doomed fate or whatever. Get a better hobby for yourself. ", "comment": "So me and my gf went thru a nasty breakup over summer and now I\u2019m forced to see her everyday at school. She thinks she intimating and scary to people when shes really just 5\u2019 1\u201d and skinny. Today in the library I was working on my homework at the computer labs when she just showed up out of nowhere in the row in front of me to talk to a guy. She just kept trying to casually talking to him and he really didn\u2019t look like he wanted to, apparently half the people in her grade hate her. The entire process I didn\u2019t even look at her once, I just knew. I got up to put a book back then as I was going to sit back down she was just looking straight at me, dead silent throughout the entire process. She burnt my jacket on her story and it backfired completely on her because everyone thinks shes crazy af, all because I commented on an innocent girls photo. I\u2019m trying to not communicate with her ever and she constantly talks shit behind my back to people I know and stares down friends and family members I have at school, how do I go on without her feeling like she owns me or some shit. This is a weird question but i\u2019ll take any advice.", "post_id": "75n7j4", "comment_id": "do7hkuf"}, {"question": "Medications can help, but what you have going on are severe behavioral issues. I imagine you'd be better off seeing a psychologist who can help you get your behavior under control. All of the issues you described can be helped by cognitive behavioral therapy. If you have any questions, let me know.", "comment": "I am male and 26. I have tried pretty much every pharmaceutical option i have for depression and anxiety and adhd and i have seen no progress. If anything my life is getting worse. The only thing that kept me going for the past 6-7 years was the thought that there might be a medication combination that fixes my problems and allows me to focus while keeping my head free of distractions and abnormal, irrational thoughts and all my bullshit with how my brain works and doesn't work. Well, this school semester marks the occasion of me having officially tried every kind of medication i can take pretty much and it has caused my faith in my ability to improve myself to collapse and my major depression has come back in full force. Ever since 2006 or 07 when i must have been 12 or 13 i have been addicted to the internet and video games and any form of digital distraction so i can escape my thoughts.\n\nSo to mark this tragic milestone, I decided to start abusing my adderall prescription again, this time to stay up for abnormal amounts of time just so i have more time to do nothing but browse reddit and watch porn. I did something like this to stay awake from Thursday morning (12/ 12/2019) to Friday night (12/13/2019) i think. I don't really remember which day i started, it was either thursday & friday or friday & saturday,  actually the latter probably because i now remember being able to watch English Premier League soccer games that start at 4:30 am in my time zone.  . But i just did it/am doing it again for a second time. i woke up yesterday morning (12/15/19) and i'm still awake today and it is about 4:45pm. I honestly don't know how many adderall pills i took total in this timeframe but it was around 5 or 6, maybe 7 total. \n\nIm starting to accept that things will always be horrible for me and i will always be unhappy and unfulfilled and unsatisfied and lonely. I feel like i'm in a bad dream because all forms of mental health intervention and treatment and therapy haven't done jack shit to improve my life or my living situation. I can't work because I have sucked at every job I have had (two referee gigs, a student it assistant, and pizza restaurant team member) and I quit my last one in 2015 because i developed a problem of not giving a shit due to a new medication i was trying (and i wasn't being scheduled hours anyways because i was slow and still made basic mistakes all the time after 6 months). \n\nSo any and all emotional support would be nice. I just thought sharing this should be archived in r/nosurf for everybody to see  how bad internet addiction can truly get and what happens when you have stopped caring about your well being and just want to constantly dull the pain by digging the whole deeper and deeper with grossly unhealthy internet use and adderall abuse. \n\nI have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to go to that i managed to pick up which was an time slot that somebody else cancelled. I don't know what's the point because i've tried everything so there's nothing left i can ask for, some medications i've tried many different times, and nothing truly helps. I just thought that something would and i guess i was wrong.", "post_id": "ebo3zc", "comment_id": "fb89ekz"}, {"question": "That is an enormous amount of paracetamol. Overdose is treatable, but it needs to be treated as soon as possible. Go to A&E.", "comment": "(18F, height 5,6, weight 9st) Had dental work done which hurt so much that for the past 3 days I\u2019ve been downing paracetamol, but me being an idiot (in a lot of pain) had been taking 2000mg every 1-2 hours. Honestly I think I might have took about +20,000mg  in the past three days. A couple of hours ago I got a strong impulse to vomit accompanied by nausea, now i have constant pain in my abdomen as well as above and basically feel like pure shit. Don\u2019t know if I should go to A&E. Is this a death sentence or am I overreacting? ", "post_id": "amipf4", "comment_id": "efm8fhp"}, {"question": "The best book on relating to children is \u201cHow to talk so kids listen and how to listen so kids talk\u201d by Faber and Mazlish. It was inspired by the ideas of Haim Ginnot. Dr John Gottman, the world renowned marriage counselor dedicated his first book to Dr. Ginnot. The key is to try to understand the motivating emotions first and express that understanding in a way the child can understand. It works with adults too.", "comment": "A little over a year ago I moved in with my fianc\u00e9, she had a child who was 4, now 5 who has always been crazy, as most five year old boys are. When I drank I could be a lot more relaxed with his behavior and not care as much, but now that I\u2019ve stopped I\u2019m almost constantly on edge with him and very irritable. It took a few days for me to realize that he really isn\u2019t being that bad, but I\u2019ve been on his ass about acting right when really he is just being a kid. What methods can I use to increase my patience with him?", "post_id": "fdylzg", "comment_id": "fjl3uhj"}, {"question": "People who do things with their friends generally do their shared hobbies.  \n\nI play board games with friends (D&D in particular).  I watch sports with friends.  We go camping & hiking.  We go to concerts.  \n\nSometimes I've spent time with friends doing things that seem like solitary activities but side by side.  One of my best friends from college, when we'd get together, sometimes we'd just put on some music, have a few drinks, and draw.  You'd think drawing is a solitary activity but we'd do it while hanging out, share what we were working on or even come up with different prompts for us each to draw.", "comment": "I'm a 21 year old guy, and over the last few years, I've learned to be very comfortable in my own company. I've developed a wide variety of hobbies and interests. My problem is that all of those things are things I enjoy in solitude. When it comes to doing stuff with other people, I kind of draw a blank.\n\nSo I figured I'd ask here: what kinds of things do others do for fun with other people?\n\n\\[Edit\\] Wasn't expecting this to gain the traction it has (not that that's a bad thing though). While I can't respond to every comment, I just wanted to say that I'm reading all of them and I greatly appreciate everyone's suggestions and stories. I hope this post may help others just as much as it's helped me. ", "post_id": "ez9fxa", "comment_id": "fgm24dd"}, {"question": "Most people aren't \"happy\" but \"content\". Strive for being content not happy. Happy comes when it comes", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "h187xj", "comment_id": "fuljwkn"}, {"question": "100% yes. There\u2019s an expectation that if you have an ED you are female, skinny, traditionally pretty, and a teenager/20s. If you are not these things it can feel more difficult to get treatment, like you don\u2019t \u201cbelong\u201d", "comment": "Does anyone else feel like others have a more \u201cvalid\u201d recovery because they\u2019re doing everything to recover but because they\u2019re not like overweight or because they \u201clook better than me\u201d.. they\u2019re more deserving of getting better?\nI just see so many recovery Instagram accounts and I think they deserve to get better because their photos are always nice and mine are just shit. I stopped having an account because I didn\u2019t feel like I deserved it because I\u2019m not pretty or anything..", "post_id": "jmzci6", "comment_id": "gayewwh"}, {"question": "Jesus.  This is one of those stories I read and wonder what I'd have done.  It's easy to think you'd have done different, exposed him, ruined him... but it's a lot harder when you're in the moment.  \n   \nWhen someone is unforgivable, the only comfort I get is knowing what a miserable fucking life that must be.  Hating everyone, blaming the world.  Psychos like him aren't happy.  They die miserable no matter how much life gives them.", "comment": "You knew I didn't want to do it, that was a boundary from the start. But you nagged and begged so much. You told me you wanted to try anal because you were a virgin when we met and I wasn't. That it was the only \"first\" you could have of mine. The first time we did anal I didn't want to. You'd nagged me so much, told me we'd been together long enough, that if I cared about you I would try. It was our anniversary. Our third anniversary I believe. You called it our \"analversary\". I got so high on poppers and whippets I barely knew where I was. I was so scared that I got blasted off of drugs you bought for me specifically for this event. I could hardly tell where I was or who I was with. I was numb. I was delirious. I was high as a kite. All so you could fuck me in the ass. Afterwards I told you I didn't want to do it again, you begged for it to be a special occasion event. I dreaded it. So it became something that happened on your birthday or our anniversary. Then it became something that happened on demand when you felt like it. \n\nWhen I finally told you, after 4 years together, that I'd been raped before we met, anally raped, you reacted in the worst possible way someone could react. You called me a liar. You called me a sl*t. Said that the reason people tend to not believe rape victims is because of women like me. That I was a drunk with buyers remorse. That I was lying about screaming stop while he fucked me. You said you felt dirty for losing your virginity to me. You made me apologize to you. \n\nLiving with you became a nightmare. For years I felt like a slave, like a maid by day and a blow up doll by night. The emotional abuse became a monthly thing, then a weekly thing, then a daily thing. You would verbally berate me for hours, claiming you wanted to kill yourself, saying I didn't do enough, saying you needed me to do more to make *you* feel sexy, calling me whatever you needed to to make me feel like a shit person and a shit girlfriend, then with tears still in your eyes you asked me if I wanted to have sex. How was I supposed to say no? The one time I did muster up my courage to say no, you exploded into fresh tears. You said it was confirmation that I wasn't attracted to you, that I didn't love you, that you should just kill yourself. You made me feel like it was sex or breakup/suicide. But still I couldn't call what was happening rape, because I wasn't even allowed to call my other, more violent rape a rape. \n\nOne night when we were sitting on the couch together (that's all we ever did anymore) you saw the news of the Rolling Stone rape report, the one that ended up being a false accusation. You took this as a chance to go on your diatribe about how women made false rape reports all the time, how women have buyers remorse and the cry rape, how men have to suffer because women have regrets. You looked straight at me and said \"You went through that once.\" I tapped into all the strength I had and said, \"I still feel like I was raped.\" Then we had a weird conversation where you listened, briefly apologized for being insensitive, and then seemingly complaining forgot that event even occurred, where you called me a liar and a sl*t for saying I was raped. \n\nYou knew I'd been anally raped. You knew I didn't want to do it. You still wanted to have anal. After all your meltdowns, as you were still melting down, after telling me it was my responsibility to make you feel wanted, you would nag me over and over. After telling me you wanted to kill yourself because I didn't make you feel wanted enough, you would ask me for sex (again, how was I supposed to say no?) and after sex would tell me how much you wanted to do anal again. One of those days that I relented, after I'd finished cleaning the blood off my ass, you told me anal was more special between us now because of what happened to me. You still wanted to have anal. I wanted to die. \n\nThe last time we had anal, when you made me go on top of you, you didn't hide your impatience. You went too deep and too fast, when I told you it hurt you would slow down for two pumps then start back up again. The pain started to make me go numb, and I felt like my entire being retreated into this spot inside my head where I could get lost in a dream and not feel the pain as much. I dreamed about being somewhere else. I dreamed about running away. I dreamed about killing you. After you were finished and let me off of you, you saw the blood and were horrified. You said you didn't realize you were hurting me. I was telling you you were hurting me. You didn't care. I told you I never wanted to do it any of the times we did it. You didn't say a word. \n\nWhen I left you, I felt like you were a broken man, with no coping mechanisms for his undiagnosed bipolar and potentially schizophrenia. I felt like you were a victim of an unbalanced, abusive mother. I felt like you were abusive because of your environment and your illness. Now, over a year later, I feel like you were a sick monster who was raised by the devil. I know that people say that it's important in the healing process to forgive, but I'm further away from forgiving you than I was when I left. Now that I'm free and I'm allowed to feel however I want, I've seen more and more how truly awful you were. I've met so many wonderful men since I've met you, but I can't trust a single one of them because I'm scared that anyone of them could secretly be like you. You loved to blame everyone else for your problems- me, your mother, your work, religion, society, immigrants- but you can't blame anyone else for you pestering me, begging me, threatening me, ignoring me saying it hurts and that I didn't want to do it, all because you wanted to fuck me in the ass. You're a rapist. \n\nEdit: I'm overwhelmed by this response. Thank you so very much for the support and the kinds words. I didn't expect this to get quite so much response. I've read every single comment here and most of them have made me feel so supported and believed. Thank you. If someone in your life tells you that they've been assaulted, the most powerful thing you can tell them is that you believe them. ", "post_id": "74xnnk", "comment_id": "do22zke"}, {"question": "if things aren't solid by 6 months into a relationship, they will never be", "comment": "24m/24f\n\nMy girlfriend of five years is the best person ever, we share many interests and we're compatible in most every way; I really feel like I've met a soulmate or someone I would desire to be with for the rest of my life. She is so caring for things other than me and has a huge heart. A big thing we don't share is an emotional/physical interest in each other.\n\n We've been together for five years now, three of which we lived down the street from each other and the last two being long distance (I visit a few times a year). We've had many sleep overs but they typically consist of playing videogames\u200b or keeping away from each other on the couch while watching TV.\n\n She doesn't like to be cuddled, kissed excessively, groped, or any other type of sexual advance. She hates her body so I try to let her know how beautiful she is daily but that seems to annoy her more. It seems that any display of emotion from her is crippling.\n\n We've talked about sex and things and she says that she doesn't feel it's necessary but like you've got to do something in a long-term relationship to keep it going right? She says she masturbates and has an interest in sex but like we've been together for so long and haven't talk about it in three years that I just don't know where to start.\n\n I've had no problem waiting for her to display affection or physical intimacy during the time we've been together but I feel I'm nearing the end of my patience and I just need an outside opinion on what's up with this. Am I crazy for thinking that one random day everything will just change? Am I just writing all this out so I can read my thoughts and see that I'm just crazy for going along with this for so long? Am I fucking up in some way?", "post_id": "6hs4gb", "comment_id": "dj0u4u6"}, {"question": "This is a tough situation! Are you in the US? Unfortunately,  there is not much that can be done for a person who is not actively suicidal with plan and intent.  \n\nYour county may have a crisis line or a mobile team that can talk to your friend. Of course , they can't make your friend do anything. \n\nA plan to live in the woods is not a suicide plan.e ven if you think it is a bad idea , as far as risk assessment goes , it is future oriented. \n\nAs far as your own boundaries related to your friend asking to live with you , only you can decide that. If you did allow it,  It would not be unfair to expect the friend to engage in mental health services . Again,  only you can decide your comfort with this .", "comment": "New to this subreddit, so feel free to delete if this isn't allowed. Just not sure where else to get advice.\n\nMy friend of 7 years has been showing very worrying symptoms, but I'm not sure what to say or do when talking to them lately. The difficulty is compounded by the fact that they are reaching out to me (I have a very bad reaction to impulsive/manic behavior due to parental abuse) and my husband (who is dealing with the loss of a family member due to homelessness and drug use).\n\nSome context:They recently lost their long time job from missing too many days. They got a new job, but apparently have been skipping work enough that they expect to be fired and want to quit. In a facebook message, they told my husband they were planning on selling all their things and going to \"live in the woods.\" Over the phone, they told both of us that they decided they \"physically and mentally cannot work.\" All I asked was how other people in their life have reacted to that news, and if they understood the consequences/reality of being homeless as a result. That was enough for them to pretend to have a stomach ache and hang up. We haven't talked since except for when they sent my husband a link to a song with lyrics about no one understanding their pain. He didn't respond to it because he wasn't sure how.\n\nThey are probably both my husband and my closest friend, they've stayed at our house for periods of time, but its something we've learned doesn't work because of our incompatible mental health issues. Each time they've shown signs of being manic or depressed we've asked them to get therapy, but they never do. The closest they got was talking to their PCP about depression and were prescribed anti-depressants, but I suspect that they are no longer taking them since they lost health insurance. We have found a free crisis counseling center very close to them, but they are apparently resistant to going and are still planning on \"living in the woods\".\n\nI'm struggling with what to do if they end up with no income and stop making rent, and are left homeless. I am personally struggling a lot to stay caught up on my work (I work from home as a graduate student) because of my mental health and depression. I feel guilty but I know it would put an enormous strain on me and my husband, especially with their current attitude of not being able to work.  The impulsiveness, the doing (excessive, but legal where I am) drugs, is very stressful for us both. I hate to use the word triggered, but even on the phone with them I was struggling with fight or flight feelings. In short, we are literally the last people who are able to be patient with this sort of behavior. That said, financially we are probably the best off of any of their friends, and they do not have any supportive family that could take them in.\n\nIs this \"living in the woods\" plan close enough to suicide that I should consider calling it in as an emergency? At what point can or should I be concerned about them committing suicide? How soon is too soon to call it in as an emergency? Does anyone have advice on how to deal with talking to them from here on out? In the worst case scenario, what should I say if they ask to stay with us?", "post_id": "feq10h", "comment_id": "fjvr5g3"}, {"question": "Hello! Therapist who works admissions in a psych hospital here. Feel free to respond here or PM with any questions you have and I'd be happy to answer as best I can! The better informed you are the better decisions you can make for you.", "comment": "I am wondering if people have any advice about mental hospitals (in the US). I am now officially in the adult population, which freaks me out a bit, my only experiences have been pediatric. I am afraid because of feeling suicidal again. I am also scared of what will happen if I end up in the hospital, and when/if family finds out, when/if my school finds out, when/if my job finds out, etc. Looking for experiences, insight, advice, next steps, really anything helps please", "post_id": "f2j5ha", "comment_id": "fhd01td"}, {"question": "You did not provide the required information for us to be fully helpful. That said, unless you have a serious medical condition that could cause a stroke, such as sickle cell disease, the risk of a stroke at fifteen are practically nonexistent. In any case, a stroke would usually cause loss of sensation and weakness on one side, not both.\n\nIt could be any number of things. If the sensation went away when you woke up, my guess would be lying on your face and putting pressure on it in an unusual way, but we probably won't ever know.", "comment": "Age: 15. Non smoking, non drinking. Unhealthy lifestyle though. \n\nToday I woke up and felt numb, mostly numbness on my face. I googled and it says that 'Sudden numbness is a sign of stroke'. Should I be worried?", "post_id": "d6yyl7", "comment_id": "f0wj1dc"}, {"question": "\u201cI just want you to know that, by abusing this medication, you make it more difficult for those who legitimately need it to access it.\u201d", "comment": "**TL;DR: Should I be upset that my close, non-ADHD friends are abusing adderall as a study drug? Looking for advice/shared experience/sanity check**\n\nHey everyone,\n\nFirst order of business: Love/super grateful for this subreddit; long-time lurker, first-time poster, etc.\n\nNow, I'm hoping you guys can help me think through this -- I've been really conflicted about it for a while, and I'm not sure how to feel or what to do, if anything. \n\nSo, here's the situation: I'm currently a sophomore at a big, competitive/stressful college. Two of my pretty good friends -- both of whom know I have ADHD and have heard me talk about some of the difficulties of managing it while at school -- have recently been abusing adderall (not mine) in order to pull 12 hour study sessions pre-final exams. \n\nWhen I first found out about this, it made me really, really upset, but I found it very difficult to articulate exactly why. I'm using this post to kind of think out loud/work through my feelings about this in a space where I can get a sanity check/advice from people who have maybe dealt with something similar or at least understand where I'm coming from.\n\nSo my feeling more broadly about stimulant abuse for an \"academic edge\" (which is incredibly common at my school, unfortunately) is that my medication gets me to a NT's productivity level unmedicated; why is it fair that they get to make the playing field uneven again? But also, these are **good** friends of mine. I've confided in them, they've confided in me; I think of them as good people, and as people that I can trust, and I feel like in doing this they've betrayed me in some way. I just feel like they should know better -- it's one thing if it's stupid frat boys that I don't know snorting adderall (still sucks, but what can you do), but these are my friends. I know saying it's a \"betrayal\" is pretty strong language, but I can't help but feel that in abusing the meds for something as (comparatively) trivial as being able to study for 12 hours instead of, like, 8, when I need my meds to basically hold every aspect of my life together somehow makes light of how difficult ADHD can be. I also feel like when regular people use stimulants like this, they start to think that that is what ADHD people use stimulants for, too -- like they might be the ones missing out on some advantage while people with ADHD get a leg up.\n\nI think part of my frustration also comes from how complicated my relationship to my medication was/is. I struggled a huge amount with feeling like I was deficient in some way for being dependent on my medication; I would take \"breaks\" to try and prove to myself that I didn't need it and inevitably end up feeling like a failure; my first medication made me incredibly unhappy (so many panic attacks! No emotions!), etc -- I can't count the number of times I've wished that I didn't have to be on stimulants to live the life I want. So for them to just casually take adderall and be super productive without dealing with any of the shit surrounding the label of a diagnosis and the stigma of being medicated just really rubs me the wrong way, and makes me feel sad. I don't want them to think after doing adderall for a little bit that it's some magical pill that makes you into a productivity machine and fixes everything, because that's just so not true.\n\nAlso note: I'm no doctor but I know pretty much for sure that one of these friends does not have undiagnosed ADHD; I've been to enough libraries with her/seen her work to be fairly certain. There is a possibility that my other friend could have undiagnosed ADHD; I'm less angry at her, for obvious reasons, but still think that if she's struggling enough to start paying for illegal stimulants, she should go get a diagnosis (she has the means)\n\nI don't know, is it crazy to expect them to understand how hurtful this was? Should I talk to them about it? (The more I think about it, I'm not actually sure that they would understand -- also, clearly whoever they got their adderall from doesn't give a shit about it, so maybe I am making too big a deal of it?) I don't know!! Please help, am I overreacting? Sorry for the length, any advice/input/stories/support would be really appreciated. ", "post_id": "a51p8t", "comment_id": "ebj6px9"}, {"question": "Venlafaxine is one of the hardest SNRI drugs to taper off of.  Have you talked to the doctor about it?  They may be able to add another much more mild antidepressant to temporarily assist, or have other options.", "comment": "I was put on 150mg of venlafaxine about half a year ago. It's the second antidepressant I've been on and there are only negative effects. A few weeks ago I decided I've had enough and cut it down little by little, until I had been on the smallest pills in the capsules (12,5mg) for 3 days and just stopped it there. Now I've been without the med for 2 days and withdrawal is getting worse. Brain zaps about once every 10 seconds, sometimes they reach out to my limbs. I'm sweating and I have a headache that painkillers are doing nothing to. Nausea and puking started a few hours ago.\n\nAnybody with experience? What can I do to ease this?", "post_id": "yjp18", "comment_id": "c5wc8i0"}, {"question": "That's a question to confirm with transplant medicine, who your uncle should still have contact with.\n\nFrom my understanding post-transplant live attenuated viruses are not recommended and inactivated vaccines can be given normally. That means the standard flu shot is fine, but not the FluMist intranasal. Tdap boosters are also fine and recommended on the usual schedule (every 10 years, I believe). ", "comment": "My son is going to be born in a few weeks and We where told by out DR that we should not expose him to anyone who has not gotten these vaccines. My Uncle has a transplanted kidney and was wondering if he can have those vaccine's or if he will have to wait till my son is vaccinated.\n\n His info\n\n* Age : 60\n* Sex: M\n* Height:5'11\"\n* Weight:230\n* Race: cuban\n* Duration of complaint: general\n* Location (Geographic and on body): general\n* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): none\n* Current medications (if any): unk\n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "9mrwi8", "comment_id": "e7gung9"}, {"question": "Do you also have trouble reading other's emotions?  Between stating you believe you have OCD, have some panic induced from noise, and said at first you have trouble identifying your emotions, I wonder if you've ever been tested or considered being tested to see if you're on the autism spectrum.  I would say this is worth talking to your therapist about if the above things are a fairly regular occurrence and this wasn't an isolated incident.  ", "comment": "ok so to put in a little bit of context, I've never been really good at identifying what my emotions are and it's something that I'm working on with my therapist (also it's very possible that I have OCD) \n\nI'm 19 years old\n\n(I hope this doesn't trigger anybody, as I'm asking for help)\n\nI was walking on the street today and I was feeling very self conscious because I was using my cellphone, I thought that literally everybody was judging me because of it and I was feeling a bit accelerated. I then heard a helicopter and looked at it and my head just started to RACE out of nowhere and I saw myself needing to be home and I felt nauseous and it just was not pleasant. I thought that everybody was looking at me and as I was walking back home I managed to relax a little bit but I was very confused (and still am) because of what had just happened. I don't know if I felt scared or what, but it was a very strange experience and I still feel a little bit on edge. \n\nis there an explanation for this? I'm very confused and I do feel on edge still, I don't know what happened.\n\nthanks on advance to everybody", "post_id": "6u3klm", "comment_id": "dlpz28r"}, {"question": "tell him, and if he doesn't change, reevaluate what you're doing with him.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I are both in graduate school and have been living with each other for about three years. This relationship is plagued by a number of problems: (1) my boyfriend suffers from chronic back pain due to sports injuries, (2) I have anxiety and OCD, (3) we live and work together on a number of projects in a small college town, meaning we see each other all the time, and (4) we express our love in different ways.\n\nI have no doubt that he loves me and cares about me, but he had never been in a relationship before he met me and I am noticing a lot of ways in which that manifests. He is not good at communication at all, and bottles up emotions without discussing them. This makes me the only one in the relationship who is putting in any work to maintain it or help it grow. Anytime I bring something up with him, his attitude and tone show me that he sees it as an unnecessary burden on his already burdened life.\n\nWhen it comes to expressions of love, he is one of the least affectionate men I've ever been with (and it's not just with me, it's the same with family). He never tells me he loves me first, he rarely ever surprises me with romantic things, he never initiates a kiss with me unless we're having sex, he never ever initiates hand-holding or hugging. The only time I get these things is if I ask for them first. When I do ask for them, he begrudgingly complies or rolls his eyes. It's almost turned into a running joke.. I feel like I am begging for scraps.\n\nI am someone that requires a lot of physical touch and affirmation, and this has been a huge challenge for me. I've talked to him about this many times in many ways. I've cried to him about it, I've been mad about it, I've casually talked about it, I've tried positive reinforcement in the very few times he may do something like this on his own by telling him how good it makes me feel and how important it is to me. It doesn't change his behavior at all.\n\nIf I was advising a friend, I would tell them that you can't force your partner to change. And it gets super fucked up when it comes to something like affection, because the last thing you want to do is guilt someone into doing something they don't naturally want to do. I don't know what to do.\n\ntl;dr: I feel like my boyfriend does not give me any physical affection or affirmation and it makes me feel like shit.", "post_id": "5wheed", "comment_id": "dea16u8"}, {"question": "If it doesn't read as sensual then it's probably friendly, because you're posting about it because you want it to be sensual, even though you know it wasn't cause you said so. \n\nSo it was friendly, and you should probably start dating other people, because this isn't the one. ", "comment": "A friend of mine (28 f) and I (24 m) have been working on themed cosplays for about a week now, hanging out every day from when we get off work till before bed. She and I have been friends for about a year, and 2 weeks ago it finally clicked that I have feelings for her. \n\nShe has a boyfriend...\n\nShe and I are both honest people, so I know she won't do anything relationship related with me unless she breaks up with him 1st... and I would do the same. \n\nThing is... We have been spending a LOT of time with one another. Cooking, crafting, and just generally hanging out. Alongside her boyfriend. She has been laughing at things that most people find annoying about me (I think...) and so I feel like she at least kinda likes me. Then today happened. \n\nWe were hanging out for most of the afternoon because some friends canceled group plans. Her boyfriend was out hanging with them, and we opted to work on costumes. We haven't been alone more than 3 times since we became friends, and this was the he 1st time it was just the 2 of us all day. About 3 or 4 times throughout the afternoon she and I would make eye contact randomly, and I would catch the faintest glimpse of her winking. Until the last time when it was super obvious. No context for the winks, and they didn't even seem sensual. I'm not sure what to think of those... what do you think?\n\nTL;DR: Girl I like who winked at me 3 or 4 times with seemingly no context.", "post_id": "6dydad", "comment_id": "di6ba8d"}, {"question": "Yes, ischemia causes lesions\u2014that's a stroke. Hypoxia, which is general lack of oxygen rather than a part of the brain that doesn't get enough blood, also produces fairly characteristic lesions on imaging.\n\nNeither brain ischemia nor MS affect the eye directly but can affect the visual cortex or optic nerve, respectively. The patterns are different. Ischemia shows up in patterns based on bloodflow and has a characteristic appearance; MS produces demyelination of white matter.\n\nThe clinical presentation\u2014the symptoms and the timing of them\u2014is usually, though not always, different.", "comment": "Age : 50\nWeight :52 KG\nLocation of the Complaint:The Brain\nDuration of the complaint : 4 Months\nPast/Current Medical History : Blood Pressure\nCurrent Meds : Seroxate , Cervitam , Stroka ,Asprin \n\n1-Can Brain Ischemia Cause Lesions in the brain???\n\n2-what is the difference in Eye Damage Between Brain-Ischemia and MS?", "post_id": "9a3p2r", "comment_id": "e4sk6qf"}, {"question": "I love that you\u2019re already seeing things this way. It took me probably three or four months to stop finding my lengthened days crazy-making... \n\nBut I also remember the first time I realized my life did not have to end at 9 o\u2019clock. I think I actually posted about it. Something about a motorcycle ride with a hot guy in the dark; I have since ditched the guy but kept the appreciation of the hours of daily life I have gained. \n\nCongrats on all those chores, friend, and on almost 60 days! IWDWYT \n\nEDIT spelling", "comment": "I got home from running errands later than I\u2019d planned this afternoon \u2014 after 6:00 pm. And I thought, \u201cah shit, my day is shot. I still have stuff I need to do... but it\u2019s too late.\u201d We aren\u2019t talking anything strenuous here, just chores around the house. But when I was a resident in the Alcoholic Time Zone, my productivity clock stopped ticking at 6:00 pm. At 6:00 pm, I\u2019d either finally be home and able to nurse my hangover in peace, or ready to start drinking. \n\nBut then I realized... I live in Eastern Time now! I can putter around the house for three or four more HOURS before I start needing to wind down for bed! And I did... I got an unremarkable list of chores knocked out, no problem. \n\nIt is incredibly lovely to have chosen to leave the time suck that is Alcoholic Time. ", "post_id": "7fs6p9", "comment_id": "dqelrvg"}, {"question": "Do you take any medication? I know medication isn't always the route to go, I much prefer people to go on natural routes before thinking about medication but maybe medication would be good in situations like this.\n\nI rarely go to the doctor & the only time I ever feel any sort of anxiety-related symptom is when I'm getting my blood taken. I pass out right after it happens.", "comment": "I think this is the best subreddit to talk about this because I know you guys will understand. \n\nI just got back from an attempted gastroscopy. Basically I have been having stomach issues since last October and I've done blood tests, I've done ultrasounds, the one where you have to drink barium and they do like an xray thing... Nothing comes up. Or well basically it is not an ulcer. \n\nGastroscopy is when they stick a camera down your throat. Now I'm not actually particularly afraid of the process because I just want to feel better, but what I am extremely afraid of is being sedated. I don't like the feeling, I don't like how I feel afterwards... It's almost a phobia. They have another option where they spray this stuff down your throat to numb the gag reflex. Now what I *didn't* know was that it would feel like my throat was swelling up and that I could not swallow(I was swallowing but I couldn't 'feel' it). This is where it all went downhill. I started to hyperventilate, and the doctor lost his patience with me and went to sit in the corner. Thankfully the nurse was very good and she escorted me to another room to calm down and to think over if I wanted to go through with it. My throat felt like I had a horrible sore throat by this time and the spray/liquid stuff didn't sit well. I threw up. \n\nI couldn't do it. I left. \n\nI feel so fucking disappointed in myself. I hate this anxiety. I hate that I feel like I don't have any options about my stomach... wtf else are they going to do? I don't want to be under anesthesia because even the thought of that is a bit triggering. \n\nHow do you guys deal with medical procedures? Also how the heck are you supposed to deal with doctors that have no sympathy for mental health? He kept telling me I just need to 'calm down'. I know most of you guys will understand that that is the most useless thing to say to someone with anxiety and under a panic attack.\n\nThank you for reading.", "post_id": "upycr", "comment_id": "c4xi6h8"}, {"question": "This sub is sometimes a mess but there has been so much positivity, progress, courageous sharing, and hard, helpful words lately. It's really wonderful to see and to know that people aren't just accepting the world as it feels in the moment. How beautiful it is. ", "comment": "Recently I\u2019ve come to terms with how messed up my head is and have promised myself I\u2019d work on that fully, rather than ignore it all with distractions such as attention/alcohol/drugs/etc and this is so much harder than I thought it would be. Since I\u2019m no longer running away from my issues I see them so much clearer and it\u2019s become so obvious to me how little sense of self or selves I have and the personality I thought I had and that people know me for is really just a mask I put on while running from my fears and past. I feel like I have to completely knock down every inch of myself and build myself back up to try and find a true happy me, which is super hard when I have little to no support system. Trying to get better is so much harder and scary than I ever expected I wish I could just erase my whole life and start over again ", "post_id": "7gz1ol", "comment_id": "dqn3579"}, {"question": "he's very immature. this won't work", "comment": "We've not been getting along lately. He will prolong any minor disagreement we have into a huge problem, cursing at me, insulting me, and threatening to break up with me as a result. \n\nTonight, I was working on a visa application and I had to focus. We have a small apartment, so we are constantly forced to share the same small living quarters. He was blasting music for several hours, and a couple of times I asked him to turn it down, when I had something to tell him, but then he'd return to playing it loudly. He was playing music that he thought I would like, which was sweet, but it was also starting to get on my nerves, and I just wanted to focus on the application. I suddenly reacted very bodily to a particular song that I found annoying and piercing, by grabbing my ears and closing my eyes and exclaiming something along the lines of \"aaah! Please turn it down. I can't listen to this anymore. Can you just turn the music off for, like, 20 minutes please so that I can add up these numbers?\" To which he had a terrible reaction to, total overkill. He turned it off and then started to complain about me, going on and on about my \"childish tantrum\" (it was less than a minute). So, I said, \"Look it's not a big deal, all I asked was for you to turn it off for 20 minutes, heck, turn it off for just 10! I just need a breather from all of this noise.\" But, he wouldn't stop. He kept insulting me, calling me names, saying I was impossible--on and on and on. \n\nThen he forced me to leave the living room and sit in our hot AC-less bedroom, where there is not even a WiFi connection. I did, just so that he would stop, but after a few minutes I couldn't take it. When I came back out, I sat quietly at a desk that was on the opposite end of the couch, so that I wouldn't be in his way, but he nevertheless started going on and on again, with the cursing, the yelling, the insults, throwing dishes into the sink, just because I was in his line of vision. He told me hates me and can't stand the sight of me and that this is all pretend. He told me it's over, but I know that tomorrow he'll probably take it back, as this is the way it has been for the past three years, since we've moved in together. \n\nI am so sick of this kind of treatment. But I also feel stuck. We just renewed our apartment lease one week ago for 6 more months. I have a new job lined up, beginning on Monday. I know that I could maybe find a way to just leave this all, if I really had to, but I feel like if I finally made the effort to leave him, since he hates me so much, he'd come back crying to me, telling me he loves me, and that would be hard as I do love him too--we were college sweethearts before rekindling our relationship in our early-mid twenties. I also know that if I finally gathered the confidence and strength to leave him, I could never allow myself to look back, and I'm scared to lose him forever. I don't know. \n\nWhat should I do? I feel like I don't even know how to properly see or react to these things anymore. I just want some outside perspective. I am at a loss. I used to blame myself for his behavior but I am beginning to see that he causes a lot of drama over what could be arguments that last no longer than a few minutes in normal relationships. Even this evening, I tried to reason with him when he first started getting really upset over my \"tantrum\" by explaining that I perhaps had a dramatic guttural reaction to the music but that it was a combination of trying to focus with the music, and that it's not a big deal ... but, he wouldn't listen. He kept on and got worse, and used it as another opportunity to tell me how worthless I am and how much he hates me. \n\nPlease help. ", "post_id": "6tzy8n", "comment_id": "dloxmmh"}, {"question": "It happens to me all the time.  When I was younger and a tic would go away for a while, my mom would point it out and the tic would immediately come back.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "g3dbuo", "comment_id": "fnwhl32"}, {"question": "Aww that would be so hurtful and difficult to hear. I\u2019m so sorry. As someone that\u2019s known and been friends with many Russians and Eastern Europeans I know a lot of that is cultural.  Some more Americanized Americans tend to sugar coat things and use a lot of \u201cfluff\u201d in how they talk and interact with others especially the southern states where I was for 15 years (this isn\u2019t a criticism just an observation and I\u2019m totally guilty of this too also Canadians are probably extra fluffy and polite lol I grew up in both places so I\u2019ve seen it).   Sometimes it\u2019s about finding the right people who accept you for who you are. Some people might think those things for whatever reasons, others won\u2019t or they won\u2019t take it personally.  There are also ways to help soften some of your ways of being.  It sounds a bit like you didn\u2019t really have the role models growing up that were warm and fuzzy so you never really had the opportunity to learn what that\u2019s like. So there may be some things to adjust and work on, not completely change who you are. \n\nYou\u2019ve been given the opportunity to start being more aware of yourself and your ways of interacting.  You can start to notice when you might be coming off in these ways and see if there\u2019s a different way to word it to soften what you\u2019re saying. Did you bf give you any examples of when you\u2019re coming off cold or condescending? That might be a place to start.\n\nEdit: wanted to add it is really hard to find friends in your 30\u2019s, I\u2019m right there with you. The friends that I could reach out to all live really far away and I haven\u2019t really found them where I live now.", "comment": "Hello and thank you all for reading and weighing in. \n\nI\u2019m 35 and have been in the US for most of my life (since 7) - I don\u2019t have an accent. But I very much was shaped by my culture. My family is argumentative and my mom can be a bit mean and sharp herself. \n\nI have several friendships that have lasted over the years. But due to moving every other year when I was young, I got used to changing friends and not working on relationships. So it\u2019s something I\u2019m actively trying to work on now. \n\nI\u2019ve been complaining to my partner how I don\u2019t have a \u201cbest friend\u201d, that one girlfriend I can call anytime with anything. Someone to hang out with. In our mid 30s things are different I realize. \n\nAnyway my bf is telling me that I need to change how I am with people. That I can\u2019t be so cold. And people perceive me as condescending. I\u2019ve been told this before and he says he\u2019s heard from others similar experiences. \n\nI tend to get argumentative, I\u2019m kind of a know it all. \n\nI\u2019ve studied and practiced meditation for years. But don\u2019t practice daily. \n\nIs there hope for me? What can I do to improve my personality so people receive me better and so that I can build stronger more loving bonds with people in my life?", "post_id": "es0whp", "comment_id": "ff8cjgp"}, {"question": "You have a right to speak to your treating psychiatrist.  I would demand to speak to him or her, have a list a questions prepared, and jot down notes for yourself.  Is the nurse a nurse practitioner?  In any event, you have a right to meet with your doctor.  It's not silly to be feel upset, I would be.  What's going on is important, and at this moment, a detailed, collaborative discussion of your treatment plan is clinically indicated, IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, because that is what you need to continue the recovery process.  Advocate for yourself...you can totally do it.  ", "comment": "So I\u2019m stressing completely over this situation that may be silly. A little history.... I was put on abilify after my last hospitalization and did great on it. At least for a couple of weeks. I have been diagnosed previously with bipolar disorder, ptsd, ocd, gad, and intermittent insomnia. \nLately.... for the last month or so I\u2019ve been cycling really bad. My mania has brought out severe ocd symptoms and my depression has me stuck thinking about suicide. I spoke to the nurse about what was going on and she pulled me off my abilify, took me off my vistiril, and lowered my lithium. \nI\u2019m freaking out, probably more than I should, about all these changes. Last time I was off an anti psychotic I almost did something horrible. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? Any advice would be appreciated. \nOh... I should mention I haven\u2019t seen a psychiatrist in months because they always schedule me with the nurse. I do have an appointment on the 18th that\u2019s supposed to be with the psychiatrist but I\u2019m not holding my breath ", "post_id": "8ae1ce", "comment_id": "dx87z45"}, {"question": "I used to do HIIT and when I stopped I finally lost all the weight I had gained as well as my belly fat. I guess increasing muscle mass is helpful for insulin resistance, but for me it just raised my cortisol levels by a lot (to the point that the doctors were questioning cushings).", "comment": "I've seen studies indicate HIT in particular will not only improve insulin sensitivity, but may raise the resting metabolic rate which will dramatically increase the amount of calories your body burns at rest throughout the day.\n\nAnyone have any personal experiences with HIT? How did it impact your PCOS symptoms and/or weight?", "post_id": "4agdk6", "comment_id": "d16ct5n"}, {"question": "Maybe quit counting days. Sounds like you were focusing on what you had instead of what you were risking. Alcohol may be addictive and that addiction would lie to you and tell you that you gain something from drinking again. ", "comment": "Then I thought I could have just one.  Turned into an all night most the next day disaster.  Now I am shaky and so depressed.  But now that I know how things were getting better and better during my 25 days, I know that is what I want! IWDWYT", "post_id": "ai9ton", "comment_id": "eemfljc"}, {"question": "one's sexual past is irrelevant, unless there are std's. people talk WAY too much about their sexual past. none of anyone's business.", "comment": "Ok, full disclosure, I used to be a slut. Long story short, i got involved with drugs at a young age and sort of just fell into that lifestyle. I don't know how many people I've slept with, and I won't ever know. I've forgotten half of them. I've been clean and not slutty for the past 4 years. \n\nRecently, i started dating a friend of mine. We've always liked each other and I feel like we could be meant to last. But, as it turns out, i slept with some of his friends YEARS ago. I didn't have any standards at the time, and some of them are not very good people. I have tried to move on from my past, but as you know, some people won't allow you to do that. The guy I'm dating and i were friends during that time, and really close. He asked me some months ago to give him a full disclosure of my past and I did to my knowledge. \n\nFast forward to this weekend, he's out with his friends and someone mentions one of the guys i had slept with and that i slept with him. A) i think this is fucked up because why would you tell someone's boyfriend that, and B) i didn't tell my boyfriend about this person because I had LEGITLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT. \n\nNow it seems to him i was caught in a lie. Which is not the case. He wants me to fully tell him everything this time when we talk, but i know i won't be able to because i don't remember much of that time, and also, because I've purposely been trying to forget about it. \n\nSo now my question is: how do i get this across to my boyfriend without it seeming like i don't want to tell him about all of this?\n\n(TL;DR i used to be a slut, slept with someone my boyfriend know years ago, didn't tell him because i forgot and he wants to know about everyone. What do i do?)\n\n", "post_id": "6zluf7", "comment_id": "dmwc7r1"}, {"question": "Did you actually hear her therapist say this?  I'm asking because I just can't tell you how many times therapists say things to clients and either the clients completely take it out of context and when relaying the information to others the original message is almost completely lost.  \n\n\nI also can't tell you how many times clients will say that \"My therapist told me....\" when it's something that isn't even remotely true.\n\n\nMy advice is that if you are truly concerned, ask your girlfriend to accompany her to a therapy session and talk to the therapist yourself.  Question them about these statements.  If you feel like they're being dishonest with you or you don't like the answer, then consider reporting.  \n\n\nAs far as what she told you that her therapist told her, it's not completely out of the realm of what many of us might do.  There's a great episode of Invisibilia where a therapist actually had a client who was afraid of going crazy and killing people with a kitchen knife hold the knife up to his (the therapist's) throat in session and process the thoughts/feelings in the moment.", "comment": "My girlfriend has been dealing with some anger/bipolar problems and has been on some new meds. Well to make a very long story short this morning she was given this advice by her therapist. She gets angry at her cat (which anyone would this cat seriously NEVER stops meowing and yelling but neither of us would ever hurt her) and she gets irritated with me when I joke around too much. Her therapist told to hold the cat by the neck and see if she felt like she could actually kill it. And also to stand in front of me with A KNIFE and see if she had the same feelings. I don't know much about therapy but I genuinely feel that this is terrible advice and if this guy is out here telling people things like this I should report him. So my question is, is this a normal thing?\n\nEdit: I have talked to several family members now and everyone is on the same page that this is not acceptable so we are going to figure out how to file a complaint against the therapist. All advice is still super welcome it would really help me talk to my girlfriend about the whole issue", "post_id": "f2k5u6", "comment_id": "fhe64u8"}, {"question": "Yesterday at work I said something along the lines of \u201cwhen I don\u2019t get enough sleep I get REALLY crabby\u201d and someone laughed and said \u201cYOU get crabby?? I CANNOT picture you even remotely crabby!\u201d This same person also laughed in disbelief when I said I was very introverted.\n\nHigh functioning dysthymia - where you\u2019re always exhausted and numb but no one believes your pain! ", "comment": "\"no no, im just lost in my thoughts haha\"", "post_id": "91fiih", "comment_id": "e2y7wvp"}, {"question": "You should look into the Forest app. I can't speak to its functionality on Android, but on iOS I like it because it motivates me to simply not use my phone, removing a distraction completely, which is nice when I want to get things done. \n\nThey also recently updated the app to include a screen-time tracker, which tracks both the amount of time your screen is on per day and the number of times you turn your phone on each day (spoiler alert: it's a LOT). \n\nIt's $2 on the App Store, assume it should be similar for Android; definitely worth the money.", "comment": "Hey there.\n\nI'm a university student with ADD. The really hard times are past now, but it's become apparent that I need to make some changes to my symptom management strategies; I have a lot of very cool stuff going on at school, but the extracurricular activities plus the coursework has put enough pressure on my existing management strategies to expose some weaknesses I was not aware of.\n\nNamely that I need to start keeping a schedule. I spoke to my disability services advisor at school, and that lead to the determination that I need to find ways to more rigidly organize my time, and that I need to have multiple instances of schedules and reminder systems available as often as possible.\n\nAn easy way to start would be with my smartphone (which is a Samsung Galaxy Note 4). Are there any other people on this subreddit who have advice about good smartphone apps to help with time management?", "post_id": "80tnxc", "comment_id": "duyjhja"}, {"question": "not a friend", "comment": "When me and my best friend are alone he\u2019s super nice and sweet, but as soon as we\u2019re around someone else he catches an attitude with me and gets really controlling. He treats me like a little sister when we\u2019re by ourselves, but it amplifies to him always having to have me in sight, I can\u2019t play certain music around him, I get scolded for talking back, and I get a lot of count downs. It\u2019s really annoying and I\u2019m not the only one who has seen him do this to me. So how do I get him to stop pulling that around others?", "post_id": "7810fj", "comment_id": "doq5ln2"}, {"question": "I stopped drinking by going to an AA meeting every day. I didn\u2019t expect it to help but it did. Many places have early morning meetings. There may be one in your town. ", "comment": "Long story short: I work in the service industry, clock out around 4am, go home and drink alone until the next morning when I wake up with a terrible hangover just to do it all again. It's been a rut that's turned into 10 years but, no matter how much I hate it, I just keep doing it. I live in a very alcohol heavy small town (hell, I'm a bartender); and when I get home, I just feel this combination of loneliness, coffee, and boredom- there's nothing to do but drink. I don't drink at work so there is some self control there but this weird mix of loneliness and miller lite is putting a hamper on my day to day happiness. There's a tipping point: that first beer I have with coworkers at closing leads to another and another and then I'm 12 deep; but I come from a Polish-alcoholic family and I don't want my current trend digress. Any tips on what to do? I can't escape alcohol cause it literally pays my bills but I feel trapped. ", "post_id": "8m08j7", "comment_id": "dzjtsqn"}, {"question": "Haha hell yes. Just gotta call it out sometimes. Sober with you today ", "comment": "I'm on day 202 and feel really good. (Thanks in part to you SD guys)  I went over to an old neighbors house today because he needed a hand with some large pieces of wood. 30 min later he pours two shot glasses with whiskey before I even knew it. \n\nI said. \" I'm good with my La Croix\" \nHe said \" ah come on, you big pussy \"\nI said jokingly \"you really going to shame an alcoholic into drinking?\"\nHe said after 5 sec pause \" ah man I'm kidding man\". \n30 min later he said. \"Wow good for you on not drinking \". \n\n\nI'm glad I just blurted out directly what I said. Sometimes being direct is the only way.  IWNDWYT ", "post_id": "7zrlfr", "comment_id": "duqypmr"}, {"question": "Different strains of weed affect anxiety differently and different people respond to weed differently. The safest thing is just to not do it, but only you can know how you will respond. If stopping weed reduced panic attacks and they come back when you start again, then you will know for sure.  If your panic is so scary it's not worth finding the answer, then I'd let it go.  Weed is only one of a million pleasurable things in the world, most of which won't physiologically increase anxiety. ", "comment": "I have been a pretty heavy consumer of weed for the past two years smoking almost a quo or two a week at my peak, but recently I decided to stop due to anxiety and panic attack issues. I do not know if weed is the root cause of these issues but I have not smoked on the weekdays during these past couple of weeks and my anxiety has drastically decreased. Will smoking once or twice a week put me back up to my prior anxiety level or will it continually decrease with less marijuana consumption? Any input would be appreciated.", "post_id": "5qf1xj", "comment_id": "dcyr590"}, {"question": "Hi there, care to talk a bit about what's going on? Sometimes the best medicine is just someone to listen. :)", "comment": "I'm serious about it. It's the only way to make my life better at this point.", "post_id": "51153b", "comment_id": "d78ha8m"}, {"question": "Alway assume the other person has the best intentions. Let the small stuff go. Never stop being considerate or doing small gestures \"just because.\" Check in with your partner every few months to see if they are getting what they need emotionally/physically from you. Always say thank you and show appreciation-- especially for the small stuff. Never bad mouth your partner or make them feel small in public. Be one team against the world. You deal with your relatives and they deal with their relatives, and butt out of it for the rest. Never bad talk their relatives no matter how fucked up they are.  Many people make the mistake of trying to fix their partner's problems when the partner just wants a kind ear or vice versa When you're unsure, ask. Repeat back to your partner what you think they are asking of you-- you will often times find that you had it wrong at first. When you are wrong, admit it and apologize. When your partner is wrong don't keep harping on it or holding it over their head. \n\nDon't bring past fights into new fights. Both people in an argument can be \"right\", there doesn't have to be someone who is wrong. Figure out how your partner wants to be loved (love language) and do things that will make them happy. Find out what is important to your partner and make sure you respect that/cultivate an interest in that. Share chores and responsibilities and money. Don't be stingy with affection and don't keep accounts of wrongs done. Don't withhold affection as \"punishment\" for misdeeds. Put each other first. \n\nIf you find yourself with a wandering eye or waning affection, get help immediately-- too many couples treat therapy as a last ditch life support effort for their relationship instead of as routine preventative care. Don't assume that things won't change-- attractions, interests, responsibilities, health, etc. will change over the years-- discuss preemptively how you will deal with those things. \n\nNever treat your partner with contempt, that is the death knell of a relationship. Don't just float through marriage thinking things will take care of themselves-- everything in life needs regular maintenance. Make time for each other, especially during those moments when time is the hardest to find because that's when you'll need it the most.\n\n/a marriage therapist", "comment": "I am getting married on Saturday, and I'm trying to reach out to the married couples/people that I know for advice. If you had to pick the best piece of advice for a newly married couple, what would it be? ", "post_id": "2dl040", "comment_id": "cjqp6ew"}, {"question": "i would find a therapist", "comment": "I'm 23, female and feel under enormous pressure. I've moved out of home and have an inconsistent job while I finish college.\n\nMy life is good in many ways. I have a boyfriend who loves me and carries the extra weight from my not being able to pay exactly half. I used to like my life but I'm sad every day. \n\nI start happy, but something always seems to pop up within a few hours to throw me off. It's almost a relief to feel sad again and not have to pretend to be happy. \n\nMy work hours are terrible and constantly changing, so I can never commit to a weekly activity and keep up with my friends. Even when I try to see them, they bail out at the last minute and leave me alone.\n\nI'm alone all the time, and feel lonely even when my boyfriend is home. \n\nI think I'm addicted to feeling sad, as happiness makes me anxious, because I'm afraid of it ending. \n\nI'm trying to change career and get a more stable schedule, but that will probably take a little bit of time. \n\nMoney is tight and work is inflexible with taking days off, but I don't know how much longer I can last. \n\nI lost a lot of weight last year, but have put it all back on becuase I feel empty no matter how much I eat. I tried going to the gym once or twice but even getting out of bed on a day off is difficult at this stage.\n\nI feel trapped and hopeless. I don't know if I'm sad because I'm unhappy with my rut or if it runs deeper. \n\nIs there anything else I can do to pull myself out of this?", "post_id": "5zc61s", "comment_id": "dex2odc"}, {"question": "Hi fellow future psychologist! I\u2019m currently in a PsyD program. Just took the survey!", "comment": "Hi there! I'm a clinical psychology PhD candidate researcher at the University of Pennsylvania and Penn State College of Medicine. I study eating disorders in populations that are usually overlooked by traditional eating disorder researchers. In my clinical work, I have treated adults and kids with severe, disabling emetophobia and seen how this disorder can affect people, but as you probably know, there\u2019s a lack of research on this disorder.\nWith my colleague Andrea Rigby (AndreaRG) at Penn State, I\u2019m developing a new questionnaire to measure thoughts and feelings linked to emetophobia. Our ultimate goal in developing this questionnaire is to identify thoughts and behaviors that maintain this fear and that could be targeted in exposure-based psychotherapy. You don\u2019t have to have emetophobia to take the survey, but if you do, we are extremely interested in your feedback on our questions.\n\nHere\u2019s the link to our survey: https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_78mEzlDnGPyjFAx\nContent warning for the survey: There are no graphic descriptions, but the items do ask about situations and experiences that people with emetophobia find really frightening and upsetting. The words v**** and n*******, and the phrase s****** v**** are used throughout. \n\nThis is a voluntary research study; there is no compensation or direct benefit. Your responses will be completely anonymous. Responses to the survey will not be linked to your Reddit username, and you will not be asked to provide any identifying information.\n\nIt should take about 30-45 minutes to answer all the questions; if you decide to give us feedback within the survey, it will take longer. If you have any questions about the survey, about emetophobia, or about eating concerns, or anything that you\u2019d like to ask privately, please feel free to email me at zickgraf@sas.upenn.edu, or message me on Reddit. I\u2019ll also try to monitor this thread and respond to any questions or comments here. Legally, I can\u2019t give clinical or medical advice, but I can point you towards helpful resources and strategies, and answer questions about how emetophobia treatment works!\nThank you in advance for your help!\nHana Zickgraf\n\n\nETA: More accurate estimate of survey time. It's longer than we anticipated, so thanks again to anyone willing to take the time!\n", "post_id": "7z7az9", "comment_id": "dvjfire"}, {"question": "many people choose that if traditional pregnancy isn't forthcoming. for many, it's that, or adoption or staying childless.  you may have to get your SO to commit to a time-frame...", "comment": "I'm a 34 year old woman, two months away from 35. I have always wanted to have children but have never had the opportunity. I'm in a relationship now with an amazing man that is not wanting to start a family just yet because he supports his family. I feel like I'm running out of time to have a child. I've been thinking about getting a sperm donor. Has anyone else gone this route? Can you tell me about your experience? Does it bother you that your child may have multiple siblings out in the world? ", "post_id": "74vh4l", "comment_id": "do1g7ny"}, {"question": "Aren't you tired of being upset about this?  Dump all cargo. ", "comment": "Okay so I (F21) have been dating a guy (m20) for over 5years. He recently did something really stupid and I need to decide how to move past it or if we are just burnt out. To give you a timeline, we started dating Feb 2012 (I was a junior in high school, he was a sophomore). Everything was good until June 2014 (the month after he graduated high school). He broke up with me and started dating another girl (they had been secretly texting for a few months already). Anyways, he started texting me again and long story short, we got back together November 2014. \nThen, January 2015, he starts texting/sexting and snapchatting the girl he broke up with me for again. He even went to see her (they both say nothing happened but yeah right). The only reason I found out was because the girl screenshot one of his snaps and sent it to me. So I confront him and tell him that I'm breaking up with him. He begs me back again and I give him an ultimatum. I was living with a roommate at the time and he was still at his parents house. I told him that we could try to work it out but he had to move in with me or there was no way. So he moved in with him. I had(still have) a lot of trust issues because of obvious reasons and we would still argue about him texting the girl and this went on for about a year and a half. \nFast forward to current time, I was trusting him again and I thought we were doing so good. We've talked about marriage, kids, homes, our whole future together. Then at the beginning of this month one day I started to get a lot of Facebook Messenger notifications. His account is on my phone and they were for his messenger. I opened the messages and he was messaging not one, but two women. One was his old high school teacher and he asked her to go to dinner with him and at one point she called him 'little boy' and he responded with 'there's nothing little about me.' And the other woman was some lady who works at a convenience store who told to look her up on Facebook and he did and he started messaging her asking if she wanted to fuck and trying to hook up with her. When I found these messages I was literally speechless because I thought our relationship was finally stable and that we were perfect. So anyways I confront him and he denies the messages saying that it was his friend from work sending the messages. I threw his stuff out of our apartment and he finally confesses that it was him sending the messages. He stayed at his brothers for like two weeks but now he's just been sleeping on the couch. He keeps saying he doesn't want us to be over and that he will do anything to have me back. I don't know what to do or think. \n\nTLDR; boyfriend of 5+ years cheats on me, again, denies it, has been sleeping on couch trying to convince me not to leave him. Help", "post_id": "6dyg7s", "comment_id": "di6bpob"}, {"question": "Los Angeles and New York are where successful bands go, not where they're from. The music scenes there are incredibly competitive, and in the case of Los Angeles at least, very jaded. I'm out of the loop, but if I were you I'd look into local scenes where it is easier to get gigs starting out, and there is interest in the kind of music you do. Source: self  -- grew up in LA, and abandoned an unsuccessful semi-professional career in music. Adjust opinion accordingly. Good Luck.", "comment": "I have come down to Los Angeles and New York \ncity as some of the best options, because \nhaving the three biggest record labels in\nthe city is a major plus. Also the city \nneeds to have a lot of talented and dedicated \nmusicians, as well as good venues for live music. Which city would you recommend and why? Is there another city that could work better, and why? ", "post_id": "74guif", "comment_id": "dny72ht"}, {"question": "if there's silence, maybe do your own thing for a while...read a book, etc...and talk when there's something to say. accept it as part of who you are.", "comment": "I should preface this by saying that i've only ever dated extroverted people, they can often be quite tiresome and draining but they do bring out my social side. I like my social side, it's something I strive to bring out more; because I lost it many years ago. \n\nRecently however I started dating someone who is very introverted, a lot like me. Maybe even quieter. The quiet moments we spend in each others arms are some of the best i've experienced, but there's a glaring issue that I can't seem to get past. There is a lot of silence and It feels like too much silence. It *feels* awkward. But maybe that's just in my head. I get the feeling that both of us are thinking/worrying that the other person is finding it awkward, which makes it **more** awkward. \n\nI've had this issue with some of my more introverted friends before, but i've never dated someone that way. I did have a good idea in my head how it would probably be, and for the most part it's ended up true. She did warn me before hand that she is very quiet at first, but talks more as time goes on. But that doesn't seem to be the case, as it's just sort of stayed the same. She says that she finds me really easy to talk to, but there isn't much talking at all. So i'm quite confused.\n\nIt's strange because we have *so* much in common but we don't really talk about it. I've never been with someone who's had as much in common with me as she does, but in stark contrast it has the least conversation out of all previous relationships by far, even the ones with people I had very little in common with.\n\nNeither of us small talk particularly well either so there are extended silences. Especially during car rides where i'm focused on the road and struggle trying to come up with conversation topics. It also feels like i'm the one that has to try and spark up conversation, and I never really know what to say. If I don't do it, she rarely does and it feels like my attempts often end with a minute of dialogue and then back to silence because she answers quite bluntly and doesn't bounce the conversation back. I've always thrived in situations where the person i'm speaking to gives me enough information to ask a followup question, or asks me a followup question. It keeps the conversation flowing. But that just doesn't happen here. \n\nWe both really like each other and she's expressed interest in taking to a more serious level so i'd like to try and give this time to develop and try to make it work.\n\n**TLDR**: Are you an introvert that's dated someone more introverted than you? How did you make it work? Did you ever feel uncomfortable with the silences, did they feel awkward? Any videos on conversation advice that helped you would be welcome too.", "post_id": "6yhtvz", "comment_id": "dmnjekp"}, {"question": "I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if there\u2019s a link.  It depends on how people express themselves.   People who have trouble expressing feelings may hold it in, while others may lash out.    One of my clients was being abused by his girlfriend and I suspected some form of anxiety in there.  ", "comment": "Sorry if this is a no duh sort of question and I'm just being dumb, I'd just really like to know what other people on here think about it. \ud83d\ude04", "post_id": "9tnqal", "comment_id": "e8xokq5"}, {"question": "You describe a terrible situation. I would trust the medical team to give you accurate information more than Reddit. We can't really know what's going on; we don't have all the 3D imaging and assessments over time. It sounds very much like he may have had the kind of devastating neurological injury from which there is no real chance of meaningful recovery. If he could wake up and say goodbye, he would be awake and recovering with no need to say goodbye.\n\nMy sympathy to you and your family. It's tragic to face such sudden, unexpected, and devastating injuries.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fryets", "comment_id": "flydccq"}, {"question": "Read a book", "comment": "I'm going crazy because NOTHING is interesting me. It's been like this for days and I don't know what to do. I have over 20 video games and I can only stand to play 1 for a few minutes before I become overwhelmed with boredom. I don't want to be creative. I don't want to listen to music. I don't want to scroll through Facebook or Reddit.\n\nI just don't know what to do!\n\nI am really hungry though, no matter how much I eat.\n\nWhat is going on??? Anyone else know what this feels like? I'm going crazy.", "post_id": "8tmmzc", "comment_id": "e18pj7y"}, {"question": "I personally think ACA would be your best bet but I think AlAnon or even CoDA would be worth checking out too, or any program that calls to you, NA, AA... You will find so many who can relate to your experiences in ACA and AlAnon and who can articulate your own experiences in ways you haven't yet been able to. Check out this list from ACA and see if it resonates: https://adultchildren.org/literature/laundry-list/ \nUnder the literature tab, you can also check out the problem and the solution and see if it resonates. The program is basically for people who are suffering the effects of damaging parenting/families of origin and are trying to heal from it. It's a very compassionate program, in my experience, that recognizes that the ways you've been harmed and the ways you struggle are not your fault but that your healing and growth is now your responsibility.", "comment": "From birth it seems I was cursed with neglectful teen parents cursed with crippling drug addictions. My father was constantly leaving, going to jail, or doing drug deals around me. My mother had the tendency to get high or drunk and lay in bed all day. That or she'd lose her shit off a meth high while bouncing off the walls. She would constantly be gaining and losing jobs in fast food as quickly as possible. These days my father is in jail, has been for 8 years, and my mom is the same. The years of drug addiction has rotted her mind into a state of...schizophrenia? That's all I can call it, she has a paranoid schizophrenic brother and I think she may have it now after years of drug abuse. She is nearly unintelligible half the time, and I don't think I have the capacity to love her anymore. Both did so many drugs around me for so long and abandoned me in many ways. \n\nBut this post isn't meant to air out all my dirty laundry. I am curious if a narcotics anonymous meeting can help me at all. I know it's for addicts or people in recovery, but I'd like to speak out.. I'd also like to know how the experience was firsthand, I am also a writer struggling to write firsthand a bit about my experiences, in some form anyway, in a story. Any suggestions would be helpful. I'd like to just improve mentally after everything. A different kind of recovery so to speak. Thank you for any contributions.", "post_id": "e3o1uh", "comment_id": "f95o1eb"}, {"question": "I find that taking regular breaks helps. Usually, I do this by going to the bathroom and washing my hands while singing a little song to myself (not out loud!). It gives me a physically calming stimulus (soap feels fun and bubbles are fun to play with and I like warm water) along with prohealth behavior (washing hands prevents spread of disease), and is discrete (nobody thinks it\u2019s weird to go to the bathroom for 5 min).\n\nObviously do something different if you have a historical problem with compulsive handwashing or dislike bathrooms. I don\u2019t advocate for cigarettes, but I absolutely believe in going for fake smoke breaks.", "comment": "I don't really like being out for long periods of time in a social setting my wife says it's about three hours max before I start to get anxious or annoyned and by then I kinda just put my walls up and shut down from Whatever is going on around me Thankfully my wife understands that Ive been like this since I was a kid but seeing as we're both in our early twenties and having a large group of friends it's hard to try and balance going out and doing stuff without shutting down as time goes on even if Im having fun Idk does anyone have any tips or been through anything similar?", "post_id": "ch8sv1", "comment_id": "eurqop1"}, {"question": "She doesn't seem to want the kind of relationship you want.", "comment": "I am 22 and I've been dating the same girl for seven years. I love her so much and she loves me. During the first year of our relationship I found out she cheated on me (not sex but everything else) with her ex. I stayed with her because she seemed so remorseful and everything else. Through the years all has been well other than a couple guy friends she has had that I had to tell her to cut off because she was either spending an abnormal amount of time with them or there were a few texts that I saw that I didn't like. Just recently I noticed she went on her exs fb and looked through his profile pics and also I saw her texting a guy she just met and the texts just didn't sit well with me as she was talking about personal stuff.. (I won't go into detail). Also she snapchats him and follows him on Instagram and fb and they literally just met. Anyways, what should I do in this situation? She's not going behind my back or anything, but it's just not something I think she should be doing when we are literally talking about getting engaged!!", "post_id": "6idqyq", "comment_id": "dj5e3yr"}, {"question": "Yes, and also tell them you're worried about letting your parents know. Your information is safe with her and she doesn't have to disclose it to your parents unless you are in immediate risk of harm (like if you told them you had a plan to hurt yourself that day, for example). She can help you work through those thoughts so you can get to a better place emotionally. Best wishes", "comment": "She has no clue I have them, or that I\u2019ve almost attempted it. The problem is that I fear she\u2019ll tell my parents, and they\u2019re struggling with their own physical and mental health as well so I think this is the last thing they want to hear. I just don\u2019t want to make the situation worse but I\u2019m not sure if I\u2019m safe.\nMy therapist is calling me tomorrow, please help\n\nEDIT: I talked to her and she told me if I am feeling suicidal I can call her and she\u2019ll talk me through it. Also, she didn\u2019t tell my parents and I\u2019m glad because the situation is way worse than yesterday.", "post_id": "gmp3xu", "comment_id": "fr5d20e"}, {"question": "You said she \"seems to be a licensed therapist\", while it does happen occasionally, it's pretty rare for a psychiatrist (speaking in the United States) to still conduct therapy.  Reason for that is, they pretty much get paid more than double what they would for doing an hour of therapy for doing 4, 15 minute med checks.  \n\n\nI haven't looked into recent studies, but my licensed supervisor used to always say that there were a number of studies regarding clients with depression and/or anxiety that showed basically this\n\n\ntherapy w/ medication > therapy w/o medication > medication w/o therapy", "comment": "So basically as the title says, i went to see a psychiatrist last week and she told me I'm going through a long depressive episode (about a year) and prescribed me antidepressants within 15 minutes of starting the session, and we didn't even cover/mention a lot of the stuff that i think i should talk to a therapist about, although they may be effects of said depressive episode rather than causes of it.\n\n​\n\nIn any case, i generally tend to trust professionals almost blindly when it comes to my health but the more i think about this the weirder it sounds to me. I'm posting here to get an opinion on my therapist's actions (was the decision rushed? Unprofessional? Unneccesary? Or do you think she was right and there's no cause for concern?) as going to a second therapist would require making an appointment for no earlier than February and by that point i can have several more sessions with this therapist and i would also be well into my treatment with the pills.", "post_id": "a6p7cs", "comment_id": "ecnsk8x"}, {"question": "Good choice", "comment": "Thank you all so much for your opinions. The vocal majority of you were correct. I can't trust her being here if I'm 5 hours away. So I'm done. I told her that exact thing and she took it about as I expected her to take it. I think it's time for a drink.\n\nThank you all again for your insight. It's been a shit day, so thanks for having my back.\n\n-rwpctech", "post_id": "1jzu8l", "comment_id": "cbjzohi"}, {"question": "It's probably [gastroenteritis](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gastroenteritis/Pages/Introduction.aspx) that will eventually settle, but if you're genuinely struggling to keep any fluids down then seek medical advice.\n\n(I'm actually feeling the same, but it was my work night out).", "comment": "I'm 21 years old, didn't eat anything besides what I usually do and haven't had drugs or alcohol. Going on 9 hours now, I have been vomiting regularly. I've vomited around 16 times. It is all bile now it seems like, and the only thing I've even temporarily been able to keep down is water, but I end up throwing it up after a half hour or so usually. There is no blood, but I do have some stomach pain- though I think the pain is a soreness simply from throwing up so much. I just don't know. \nI never throw up. This is by far the most I've ever thrown up, and the second most would have been twice in one day when I was a toddler probably. I don't know if this is normal when you get really sick but I am feeling stiff and achey and awful and I can't seem to stop throwing up. I don't know what to do about it and I don't know if I should go to the emergency room or if that's really over-reacting? I have so little experience with throwing up so maybe I'm just being a baby about it and taking it harder because I'm not use to this. \n\nAny suggestions on what I should do or how to get better would be much appreciated. ", "post_id": "5itr9e", "comment_id": "dbax143"}, {"question": "he should always check in if you're depressed and suicidal. please go to the hospital now if you're having suicidal thoughts.", "comment": "tl;dr:I have depression and have been feeling suicidal. My boyfriend didn't check in to see how I am doing. Am I overreacting? Am I maybe just letting the depression cloud my judgement?\n\n\nHi there. I\u2019m at a really low point with my clinical depression, and therefore, I am having a hard time knowing if what I think and feel is rational, or if I am overreacting.\n\n\nI would really be so thankful if you could read the situation and tell me if I am just letting the depression cloud my judgement.\nThis might seem like a petty question\u2026 but I feel like I\u2019m on the verge of breaking up with him over it\u2026. so please just answer with compassion if you can.\n\n\nMy depression is out of control lately (I\u2019m going to see my psychiatrist next week to get it addressed because I have been very suicidal), and I think my boyfriend is losing interest in me. I don\u2019t know for sure, though. I can\u2019t tell if I am only interpreting things negatively because I am looking at situations from a dark perspective.\n\n\nYesterday, I told him my depression is worsening. I told him I was feeling suicidal this weekend. We work in the same office, and he saw that all day long I was in a low mood. I even had a crying attack during lunch with him, and I couldn\u2019t stop crying. \n\nHe came and kissed me goodbye before he left the office for the day. I was feeling absolutely awful when I got home, so bad that I just went in my bed with my dog and couldn\u2019t stop crying (for basically no reason) for a few hours. I wanted to text him, but I didn\u2019t want to seem clingy or overemotional\u2026 and plus, the effort required to pick up my phone and text just seemed like too arduous an undertaking. (Anyone with severe clinical depression will understand how just getting out of bed to grab the phone and write a text can feel like climbing the Himalayas.)\n\n\nI was hoping that he would reach out and text me, just to see how I was doing. Because after all, I had told him how bad the depression was. However, he never contacted me last night.\nFinally, around midnight, I mustered the motivation to get out of bed to text him and say \u201cI love you, I hope you had a good night.\u201d He usually goes to bed around 11, so I knew he wouldn\u2019t get back to me until morning.\n\n\nHe did get back to me around 7:30 am just to say his night was fine and \u201cI love you.\u201d But what kills me (and here\u2019s where I don\u2019t know if I am overreacting) is this: I saw that on his Youtube username, he made several posts between 6:45 - 7:30 am. So he woke up, wrote long posts to strangers \u2026 and then thought: Oh, let me now write a quick 8-word text to my girlfriend, who is suicidal.\n\n\nThat is how I am interpreting the situation. I don\u2019t know if I am overreacting, but this makes me feel like shit. He was busy last night because he has his cousin in town, but it hurts me that he couldn\u2019t spend even 45 seconds to check in.\n\n\n(Just fyi: We have been together for 3 years, we are in our mid 30s, he has told me he wants to be with me long-term \u2014 so this hasn\u2019t been some casual fling.)\n\n\nI know it\u2019s annoying for people without depression to deal with a depressed person. I think I sense him getting annoyed\u2026 but I just don\u2019t know if maybe I am overacting because I feel so low.\n\nAm I overreacting? Am I just letting the depression color my view in a negative way? Or should I be worried that he is losing interest?", "post_id": "5vkqv2", "comment_id": "de2wwom"}, {"question": "You are a freaking rock star! Well done! Enjoy your hangover-free day. (Alcohol and cocaine hangovers are exponentially worse than alcohol hangovers ime)", "comment": "A friend who I party hard with randomly stopped at my place last night expecting me to already be drinking like always in the past and he showed up with a handle of vodka and a few grams of cocaine which previously I'd never ever be able to turn down that offer and I'm very glad I said I was taking it easy because if I indulged I'd still be up now at 9am drunk as hell and high dreading work tomorrow morning \n\nWoke up this morning feeling like I caught a cold but this beats still being up drunk and out of it regretting my decisions", "post_id": "dkjbvi", "comment_id": "f4g4dpb"}, {"question": "I do :)\n\nI have to admit, after medication I became a better psychologist. But I did it without medication well anyway. The only thing it really I pacts is my ability to follow the whole conversation, not just aspects. On meds I can remember what they've said, notice their affect, do something with it all and reflect it in a way that makes sense.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "ij8jl4", "comment_id": "g3c3uq1"}, {"question": "Go slow. Be patient. Let her be in control of how this evolves.", "comment": "I may post this in r/sex if that is more helpful, but this is still a relationship question. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. She's intelligent, has a great sense of humor, and always puts others before herself. We instantly clicked but on our first date I remembered her telling me she moves very slowly in relationships. After three dates we were officially dating, but she asked to keep it off Facebook. It took another two dates until we even kissed, and two weeks after that to start fooling around (nakedness but not actual sex).\n\nAfter four months we still hadn't slept together, she always got tense when I moved things intimately. I asked her why and she'd just shrug it off, so I backed off. Eventually she admitted while she had fooled around with a past boyfriend, she was a virgin. I insisted it wasn't a big deal, and two months later we finally had sex.\n\nShe doesn't usually initiate, but always seems eager when we sleep together. She's come a long way, makes sure she does things that I like, but I recently realized she gets very uncomfortable whenever I focus on her. I thought maybe she was insecure about how she looked, but she'll have sex with the lights on and has never complained about her body before.\n\nLong story short, I started foreplay when she was over last night and she was in to it until I started paying her too much attention. Like I pulled her hands away from touching me to go down on her (she's never let me do that). She got really tense and asked me to stop. I of course backed off and asked her if she was okay, she said yes but to not do that, and I asked her why. When she started to shrug it off I was more firm and said I wanted to know why she won't let me focus just on her.\n\nShe burst in to tears and I felt like a complete jackass. I didn't yell or anything, and she's never cried before. She told me that her ex was her first sexual partner (as in being sexual, they never had sex) but he made her feel awful about sex. When she said she was a virgin it was like a huge fetish and all he cared about was taking her virginity. She said he'd get her drunk, feel her up in public, initiate when she said no and wouldn't stop until she physically got him off of her. My girlfriend said sex was always a one-way thing that wouldn't end until he got off no matter what. He made her pleasure some kind of bargaining chip like \"if I made you feel good now you HAVE to get me off.\"\n\nMy girlfriend said all she thought about while having sex was making sure I was happy. Like her end goal was never to feel good herself, it was to get me off so our relationship didn't end up like that. She started going on and on about how she knows sex for guys is the most important part of dating and was afraid if I tried to get her to orgasm (which she never has because she stops me) I'd use it against her.\n\nHonestly I had NO idea she thought of sex like that. I finally got her to calm down and said this was a discussion we should have after she slept on it. I don't know what to do. Basically my girlfriend thinks sex is just to satisfy me and I'd somehow use her getting off as an excuse to escalate to things she might not want to do. I feel so bad because she's the sweetest girl I've ever met and for some douche to use her inexperience against her like that... ugh.\n\nI just don't know how to talk to her about it. We're meeting up tomorrow night. Do I take a break from sex with her and say only when she's ready we'll start up again? She feels like somehow she's broken and she isn't, she just dated a douche and tried hard to seem like the perfect girlfriend.\n\n**tl;dr:** Girlfriend of 8 months and I started having sex 2 months ago. She admitted the reason she won't let me focus on her pleasure is because her ex made sex all about him and used her feeling good as an excuse to escalate his own needs. Not sure what to do.", "post_id": "6u73kc", "comment_id": "dlqiuas"}, {"question": "You may be at a \"safe distance\" from her being a few hours away.  The grief she is experiencing is normal to a certain extent.  She lost her father.  Everyone mourns in their own way, and at least she trusts you enough to provide her some comfort.  I don't want to speak on the bungee jumping comment because I don't know the context or her personality, but unless she starts talking about bungee jumping without the cord, I would just let it go, but you know her best.\n\nYou are doing everything right, IMO, sometimes people just need someone to listen and hear them.  You're a good friend, she's lucky to have you during this difficult time in her life.    ", "comment": "\nShe's 40 or so.\n\nWe had been texting every day regarding giving up smoking and generally talking about silly stuff when she told me she wanted to stop texting because her father was about to die. So I did, this was 6 days ago.\n\nYesterday she texted me, saying her father died, she had buried him, smiled, cried, comforted everyone. And that she wanted to cry and be alone and \"they\" wouldn't let her. \"They\" being everyone that cared for her - sons, mother, brother, and everyone else. And she said they didn't understand.\n\nShe said she wanted to curse, break dishes, mentioned something about bungee jumping. She said she felt void. Completely fucked up. I called and she spent a good 5 minutos just sobbing. I then told her a silly thing and she laughed for a solid minute.\n\nBut now I don't know what to do. Should I leave her alone, try to text her, try to visit her... (she lives 3 hours away). I really don't know her all that well, but I'd do anything that would help.", "post_id": "63zcgm", "comment_id": "dfzjyy8"}, {"question": "It depends on a lot of things.  The two most important factors when it comes to how accurate a diagnosis is are the following:\n\n1.  How skillful in regards to diagnosis is the clinician offering the diagnosis.\n2.  How open/honest/truthful the client is answering questions regarding their personal history and symptoms.  \n\nIf the client is not truthful or withholds information, or even just forgets a good deal of information that is important regarding history, it's nearly impossible for a clinician to give an accurate diagnosis no matter how skilled they are.  More often than not, we're taking clients at their word and aren't trying to figure out if they're not being honest with us.  \n\n\nWith the exception of getting pre-authorization for certain medications, in the grand scheme of things, diagnoses are not that important as psychiatrists and therapists are rarely if ever using a certain special treatment specifically for a certain diagnosis.  We're treating the individual person and their individual symptoms.  \n\n\nNow if for some reason, having an accurate diagnosis is very important to you, it may be worth discussing this with a therapist who is skilled in diagnosis (and cares about diagnosis) and having them take several sessions to question you, rule out some diagnoses, and see which diagnosis seems to fit best.\n\n\nAt the end of the day, many folks go through therapy, get psychiatry, etc. and never even find out what their diagnosis is.  They still make progress towards their goals and can improve their functioning.  \n\nJust one example I can give.  On the side of my full time job, I run a private practice using therapeutic role playing games to help kids with mental health issues.  Since I don't take insurance, I don't even bother diagnosing the children.  Now, I certainly could and if I ever take insurance in the future I'd have to in order for them to be able to use their insurance.  For now, I don't even bother because it really doesn't matter or impact how I'm going to help them work towards their goals.", "comment": "I was in a behavioral hospital for about 2 weeks. I met with the psychiatrist maybe 4 or 5 times for no more than 10 minutes at a time. Can I trust his diagnosis? Or would I need to go thru actual testing somewhere else? I've never been tested in any way, but have been in and out of therapy most of my adult life. I feel like I've kind of been swept under the rug and maybe misdiagnosed for 2 years now.", "post_id": "eo0g0s", "comment_id": "fe8etsv"}, {"question": "That's not a combination that gives me concern for serotonin syndrome. It's not all that unusual to take Adderall with an SSRI/SNRI.\n\nEffexor discontinuation is more common and more unpleasant than many other antidepressant discontinuation syndromes; all the SNRIs have that problem. It can be done, but slowly.\n\nAt doses lower than 75 mg or so, Effexor really isn't an SNRI, though. It's just an SSRI. The norepinephrine reuptake inhibition only kicks in at higher doses. If it works, great; if it doesn't, it's not yet doing the thing you picked it for.", "comment": "Patient Info: Female. 28. 5\u20197\u201d. 160 lbs.\n\nDiagnosed: ADHD 2015. \n\nCurrent Meds/Dosage: Adderall IR 30mg 2x daily; multivitamin 1x daily; CBD oil as needed (non-THC)\n\nOther: Therapy 1x weekly for 6 months for postpartum anxiety; currently 9 months postpartum. \n\nAt my Therapist\u2019s recommendation, I saw my doctor to receive medication for anxiety since CBT alone has not been effective. My doctor is aware that I take Adderall & my dosage. When considering anxiety meds, he was initially leaning towards an SSRI, but I\u2019ve taken them before & they were ineffective. So he opted for an SNRI: Effexor; 37.5mg 1x daily. \n\nI did myself a frighten by googling Adderall & Effexor. Is the potential for serotonin syndrome really high? Also, I read the withdrawal side effects of Effexor are hell, which makes me nervous. \n\nI have a good relationship with my doctor. Should I be concerned about the Adderall & Effexor combo? Or am I just overreacting? Would something else work better for my anxiety symptoms that I can take with the Adderall?\n\nAny advice is appreciated. \n\nDisclaimer: I\u2019m also a doctor\u2019s wife, but I don\u2019t talk to him about my routine medical care generally. Please let me know if there are reactions I should be advising him to look out for in me taking both Adderall & Effexor.\n\nEdit: Format fix. Mobile is hard.", "post_id": "bhvqy7", "comment_id": "elw8kx8"}, {"question": "Yeah I think we all want to see the report in its entirety before we comment.\n\nPS. Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) isnt an SSRI, but an SNRI (but that's beside the point).", "comment": "Hi, am mentioned above, it's been found that I have brain inflammation and a benign brain tumour. \n\nMy doctor struggles with my language so I felt like I couldn't get some necessary information out of him. I still really like him though, because he sincerely cares and really stays on top of things regarding my health which is rare in my city when you're a poor student who can't pay out of pocket. \n\nI got the scans done because I have been withdrawing off of an SSRI (anti-depressant) with the brand name 'pristiq'. This drug messed me up pretty hard after being on 150mg for 6 months. I felt I'd fallen into a sort of hyper depression and was suffering from headaches and general acheyness. Withdrawing off of it hasn't been much better either- I feel pretty crazy most of the time. \n\nAnyway, are these brain issues something I need to keep track of for the rest of my life? I've been told I have to get scans bi-yearly from here on out. What are the worst case scenarios and the more likely scenarios? Are there any healthy habits I can pick up to help?\n\nWhat can I expect in terms of side-effects. \n\nI know I might be freaking out unnecessarily, but anything to do with the brain feels scary...", "post_id": "6sdbue", "comment_id": "dlc18g8"}, {"question": "I wondered if I was weird for not having had these yet. Good to know I should still be prepared. :)", "comment": "So weird.  I don't view them as a threat or anything.  When I am drinking in the dream, its always a very negative feeling...there's nothing glamorous or fun about it.  \n\nI wake up and feel relieved that it wasn't real, and it reinforces the fact that I don't want to drink alcohol.\n\nIts very strange that all of the sudden these have become semi regular.\n\nKeep on fighting the good fight peeps!", "post_id": "5zrf7f", "comment_id": "df0id40"}, {"question": "In some ways she is right. Therapy won't change her situation.  Some people definitely feel better having an outside person they can trust and talk to. Some people benefit from strategies for dealing with circumstances outside their control.", "comment": "My girlfriend lives with a toxic household that has been unhealthy her whole life. Her mental health is not doing well as a result of traumatic things that have happened to her in the household, not to mention her family constantly arguing every day and asshole siblings. Some of these mental health things affect our relationship negatively, not to mention it's unhealthy for her overall.\n\nShe is very aware of these things, and acknowledges that they are unhealthy. She deals with these emotions by deflecting it with activities that calm her or make her happy.  She believes that therapy won't have an effect on her unless she moves out as she would still be exposed to her toxic family. Is she right? \n\nAlso, is there anything I as her boyfriend can help her with her emotions? Especially now when she can't leave her house often due to COVID-19.", "post_id": "hnaq51", "comment_id": "fxa9qfg"}, {"question": "I hate hookup culture mostly due to the fact that people blur the lines of consent because it's just a part of the culture. :|", "comment": "I am not into hook up culture at all. I like romance, not overly schmoopy, but I like the emotional connection. I can't just like anyone. I am not the only one like that right? It sometimes feels like that.", "post_id": "3nnd0p", "comment_id": "cvptxg5"}, {"question": "Thank you for taking the time to share a bit of your life story with us! it takes courage to reflect on how we've handled our lives. I'm glad you are in this place now. As they say, not all days will be of glory. For me, the important thing is remembering that you might not be okay today, but tomorrow you will. \n\nHave compassion with your process. You've got this. And seek therapy!", "comment": "I am 30 years old man from germany with abitur and have been homeless since 2011, that is until last febuary. I guess I have mental health issues but im not in therapy at the moment, the current situation put that a bit on the back burner. But in the past I hated myself and attempted to end my life on a handfull of occasions, getting always closer to breaking and doing it.\n\nMaybe three month ago I was approched by a social worker and he helped me find my way to a home for young men in rough situations in just a couple of weeks. It is still hard to belive how easy that was. For about a month and a half I just kinda houng out and got acclimated but kept some of my old habbits up (not drugs, just kinda being aimless). With Corona crashing the party, I spend all of my time at home and lazed around.\n\nBut this week I started to work in the extensive garden. Planting crops, installing watering systems and stuff. Today I planted 100+ onions, waterd some salat and cleaned up a volleyball field. I felt good doing that. Then I had myself a nice cold shower and sat down to write this. Im happy right now. Im happy that I enjoyed work. I put the fear that all this shit in my life was because Im just lazy behind me. I enjoy working. Im crying.", "post_id": "fxrjqw", "comment_id": "fmxblm9"}, {"question": "I'm a psychiatrist. What you describe is classic BPD. But it's very common to have comorbid disorders -- mood disorders, anxiety disorders, PTSD, eating dis, OCD, substance abuse, ...", "comment": "Not so relevant to this but I\u2019m 26F white 5\u20194 idk what I weigh though but I\u2019m not fat. I\u2019ve been diagnosed with various mental illnesses since I was 14 and no doctor has given me the same diagnosis. \n\n\n\nSymptoms include getting stakerishly obsessed and focused on one person. Deluded thinking making up crazy scenarios in my head and believing them even if proven otherwise. Being extremely EXTREMELY upset by any form of rejection or being left out, which has caused me to self harm by head bashing and biting... I was never really a cutter. Crazy spending habits, I\u2019ve gotten better but still... constantly making poor impulsive decisions that hurt me and those around me. Excessive jealousy/envy to the point where it negatively impacts my relationships/friendships with others. Repeatedly destroying any positive relationship of any kind except my family, like I know what I am doing is wrong and I keep doing it than regret it. And then go crying or rambling on the internet or treating those around me as unpaid therapists to my issues.\n\n\nI just want to be normal. \ud83d\ude2d I have been diagnosed with a lot, borderline personality disorder, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar 2, mood disorder, OCD, depression, psychotic depression, dissociative identity disorder...", "post_id": "bsavfk", "comment_id": "eolla7t"}, {"question": "The best way to approach this is to ask! I can't be certain, but to me it sounds like your therapist is using IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy to explore parts of your self. ", "comment": "I am diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type and in therapy. I finally opened up today about past traumas real or imagined. And he said that he saw me in three parts. The normal (me, trying to hold it all together), the rage (brian), and the confused (doesn't really have a name because of how twisted it is.) with a scared little boy at the center. Does he mean dissociative identity disorder, or something else? He kept thanking the 'inner me's' for allowing me to express what I have bottled up since I was young.\n\nI just remember the end of the session feeling all twisted inside, like snakes were curling around in my chest.\n\nHe also said he wants to see me as often as possible (whether because medicare pays for it (I am on disability), or he realizes I am in need of help). I see him again tomorrow.\n\nI've been in therapy since 2011, but it was with a low cost clinic and an LCSW. I never really felt connected to her because the therapy seemed to be on rails dictated by what the low income insurance would cover. This new psychologist actually takes the time to listen to what is going on and seems to understand what is inside me.", "post_id": "5ptfne", "comment_id": "dcttsas"}, {"question": "The theme of the first step is honesty about your drinking. Can you list the harms it\u2019s done to you?  Whatever causes problems is a problem. But if drinking doesn\u2019t cause problems, what\u2019s the problem?  The first step is the admission of a problem so serious that your life is unmanageable. It sounds to me like you\u2019re looking at your wife\u2019s drinking and comparing your own and admitting she has a problem. If your drinking isn\u2019t a problem then  you might be better off going to Al-Anon family group meetings and get the help you need for living with an alcoholic. But you might have a blind spot when it comes to your own drinking. Have you ever missed work due to drinking? Have you ever had a memory lapse (blackout) due to drinking? Have you ever felt remorse, shame or regret after drinking? Have you ever gotten drunk after promising yourself you\u2019re only going to have a few?  Did you ever driven under the influence?  Has a family member or loved one ever criticized or shown concern over your drinking? Has your performance at work or school been affected by your drinking? Have you ever thought your life would be better if you didn\u2019t drink? If you are worried that your life won\u2019t be fun if you don\u2019t drink, what does that say about you?", "comment": "I love the taste of bourbon, I drink nightly and my spouse is going through rehab now for alcohol and drug abuse. I found out she cheated on me before we got married 6 times. She is at a sober living house and we are separated. I went on a worse bender after I found the note i was never supposed to see. I was doing well at cutting down to just drinking on darts/pool nights and not getting sloppy. Which was a big step for me.  \n\nI know this is for sobriety, yet the things I've invested my time into and love to do almost always revolve around a bar. I feel like it's going to be harder to get sober and cut out my only fun activities. I know I can find more activities but I want to stop drinking but still play the games I love and have put years and time to get good. \n\nAlso her being away from me is really hard on me now. I feel ashamed that I want this but am currently drinking now. \n\nI've been to a few AA meetings and I'm not a religious person, it almost feels like I'm cheating myself out of my work by saying that I have to give my higher power and thank them for giving me the power. I feel that if I stop drinking I should be the one that gets the credit. Im open to any and all explanations or if there is another type of group that sounds better for me please please let me know. \n\nAny thoughts any suggestions are welcome.", "post_id": "jzw5a3", "comment_id": "gdfj1it"}, {"question": "she shouldn't be doing that. you should talk to HER", "comment": "\nMy wife says I'm a great guy and husband but her friends say to divorce me if she's not happy. One guy sent pictures with his shirt off and encouraged her to divorce if she isn't happy. She divulged our secrets, feelings and sex life to him. ", "post_id": "5u4nh3", "comment_id": "ddrc2sj"}, {"question": "I'm a therapist and would definitely encourage you to explore this issue with one.   \n\nSome questions to consider in the meantime.   When did this all start?  Have you ever had close female friends?  \n\nIt sounds like you are on the right track with starting to figure things out, realizing that you don't like it when others get the attention in the group.   What about that upsets you so much?   Is it because you want that attention?   Do you think that they are being fake?   \n\nWhat other reasons could there be that someone would be the center of attention in a group?   Could it be that they are just naturally talkative?   Are they friendly?   \n\nWhat kinds of things can you appreciate about those other girls?   Something that can help in life is to focus on what you like about a person.  People tend to like others that like them.   ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "5k72oi", "comment_id": "dbm5sxe"}, {"question": "Hi. How are you doing ? ", "comment": "Hi \ud83d\udc4b Ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well I\u2019m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. \nShort intro, I\u2019m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn\u2019t a year old. I didn\u2019t drink a drop during pregnancy but once I had him - boom \ud83d\udca5 I stupidly had that first drink thinking I will be able to moderate now. A mistake we have all made I\u2019m guessing. \nI now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary\u2019s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. \nHowever I remember how great I felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how I dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! \nDetermined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. I know I can do it and have the drive to see it through so let\u2019s do this! \nEek scared and excited at the same time", "post_id": "8m0esx", "comment_id": "dzm2rfs"}, {"question": "It certainly seems that the personality dynamics that led her to cheat years ago are still operable in some way shape or form. If she is deleting messages left and right that's a major red flag. You have to have a big talk about your commitment to each other and what that entails", "comment": "So they work together in the same building. I've seen the conversations they have with each other and the content and type of relationship they have with each other makes me upset and uncomfortable. I've tried to talk to her about it and she said she would cut down talking and stop going for multiple walks with him during work. \n\nAs I've read messages since, I found she has not stopped at all and has been deleting messages between them two. He's about 40 married with 3 kids. She's is in her late 20's and is extremely attractive. \n\nI sent him a message and told him how I felt but nothing has changed. And so I asked to have this conversation in person to get down to it and come up with a solution, with his wife there too. If he has nothing to hide from his wife surely he wouldn't mind right? But he's said no straight up. \n\nMy fianc\u00e9 has a very bubbly personality and people have often read it wrong to be flirting. But why is she deleting messages between them two? \n\nI want your opinions and thoughts please. I'm 29 myself and have just gone through cancer, chemo and a major opp. The other week I made an attempt on my life because i couldn't handle it anymore. You can physically put me through pain but I cant handle lies. I've always been open and honest with her and have never cheated on her. She did cheat on me many years ago but I've let that go because we were both young dumb and I had a bit of a temper. \n\nPlease tell me guys, what should I do? ", "post_id": "5wdkmj", "comment_id": "de9adnt"}, {"question": "Buy and read \"The Imp of the Mind\" and \"Loving Someone With OCD\". The first is a good overview of what OCD is in its various forms, the other will help you know how to respond to her symptoms and develop your compassion even more than you currently have. Also, if your fiance is comfortable, go to a session with her to get on the same page.", "comment": "Hello r/OCD,\n\nMy fiance has been struggling with what we're both pretty sure is OCD now. She had a therapist appointment today, and I believe the therapist confirmed my fiance's theory. We had a big fight tonight, and afterward she really explained the extent of this problem to me for the first time.\n\nUntil this point I thought her OCD problems were fairly mild, but tonight I learned that she spends hours making mental lists and thinking through the exact process needed to do a lot of simple tasks. It's caused a lot of fights when I don't make a choice or act in a way that that falls in line with what she expects/needs to happen.\n\nShe's at her wits end trying to care for our 10 month old daughter while I'm at work. Please provide any advice you can for someone who is largely new to what real OCD is, and needs to care for a significant other suffering through it.\n\nThank you.\n\nEDIT:\n\nThanks for all the kind words so far. Since it's a general consensus in the advice, I will state that both she and I have been going to a therapist for a few months now, both in individual (for each of us) and group sessions.\n\nThe most recent session left us with the advice to find a general practitioner about getting medication for her. This is the next step we need to act on. (On a side note, any advice on how to overcome anxiety about making doctor's appointments would also be a big help, as it's something we both struggle with.)", "post_id": "4rt1wc", "comment_id": "d54de96"}, {"question": "Possibly borderline/emotionally unstable personality traits, but don't really want to give bedside diagnoses without knowing him better.\n\n[Personality disorder](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/personalitydisorder.aspx)", "comment": "I have a friend who sometimes acts a certain way, and I'm trying to think of a term to describe it.\n\nHe acts like a victim in situations where one normally wouldn't necessarily feel that way.\n\nHe'll jump to conclusions about things without any kind of inquiry. Example: he played a video game and got leveled up very quickly by some friends. He asked another friend if he wanted to join and was told \"No thanks, that's not my style.\" He interpreted that to mean \"You're a cheater and I think you shouldn't play like that.\" He got really upset and ranted on about it for a while. \n\nHe's very much into a lot of conspiracy theories (fluoride in the water, chem trails, etc.). He takes many things very personally, even if someone just disagrees with his opinion, he'll completely shut down for a while. \n\nSometimes he's not like this; it seems to come and go.\n\nI should also note that this has only been happening in the last four or five years. Before that, he wasn't like this. \n\nAny ideas? Thanks!", "post_id": "4y9amf", "comment_id": "d6mbqlm"}, {"question": "Vigorous physical exercise has a known antidepressant effect.  I'm not aware of any research-established relationship between Cannabis and depression.  Without any intent to knock Cannabis, I'd be suspicious about attributing anti-depressant effects to it.  \n\nSelf-treatment like this is potentially dangerous; there are risks you try something that doesn't work, and risks you try something that makes things worse.  Please let your physician know what you are doing so she can at least help keep you away from dangerous stuff.  Possibly, there are other antidepressant medications you can try too which will be lighter on your sex drive.\n\nMay I also suggest psychotherapy, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or one of the mindfulness based therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy?   These are evidence based therapies known to be helpful.  You might also find that developing a mindfulness meditation practice is helpful.", "comment": "I feel alive.\n\nI don't know how long I can keep it up before the depression comes back in full-swing but the Lexapro had me feeling dead inside and my LIBIDO was insanely low. So now I've just been exercising and smoking weed and I feel a bit more alive, and my libido is coming back.\n\n**TLDR**: Started smoking and exercsing instead of those dreaded pills. Should I continue this? What now? Also how do I get my libido up?", "post_id": "5cnwbg", "comment_id": "d9yhwfx"}, {"question": "I am apparently the only person who didn't get stomach issues from metformin. I have a preexisting anxiety condition that was controlled with medication, but shortly after I started metformin my anxiety got out of control. I'm working with my doc to find a solution that works.", "comment": "Hey all! As the title mentions, I'm start Metformin tonight. I've tried searching already on what to expect with this. So far I've gotten \"lava butt\", \"farts you can't trust\", and \"be near a toilet at all times\". \n\nAre those the only side effects? I know you should take it with food, is there anything else that helps alleviate some of these symptoms? \n\nMy doctor said if I have a lot of issues to bump my dose down to 1 a day (I'm on 2x500mg a day right now) for a week and then back up to twice a day. \n\nJust wanting to hear from you lovely and experience ladies on this one! I'm excited that there may be light at the end of this tunnel after months of exercise and eating right! ", "post_id": "4ql8fx", "comment_id": "d4upnum"}, {"question": "YES", "comment": "My ex-fiance was hooking up through bumble, Ok Cupid, Tinder, etc. And he had sex with some girls and was talking to dozens of girls via those dating apps. Also he got phone number of maybe 10 - 15 girls. He was arranging more dates and flirting to those girls to have one night sex.\n\nAs everybody expects, we broke up in a really bad way.\n\nI usually didn't really mind other people having one night, hookup or cheating experiences because it didn't really affect me. Buy one day I was watching the movie 'Knocked up' - which is about one night sex and the girl got pregnant accidently. I suddenly felt SERIOUSLY disgusted and couldn't finish the movie.\nI also feel very disgusted when I read stories about cheatings here on Reddit... I wanna shout F words to those all cheaters.\n\nSince then, I feel like shit and disgusted, whenever I hear anything about affairs similar to what my ex did. Is it natural? Can I ever get it over? :( \n\n\n*TL;DR* I feel disgusted when seeing cheating or one night sex after being cheated on by my ex. Is it natural? ", "post_id": "76zcli", "comment_id": "dohwyic"}, {"question": "Hey I appreciate you sharing this. I just wanna say I am a therapist that works specifically with first responders and what you describe is not uncommon, especially being a paramedic or EMT. Your job basically trains you to have PTSD. Repeat trauma exposures, alarms going off, disrupted sleep, situations that you often times have very little control over and a lack of closure on most scenes you run. \n\nGive yourself credit for getting on the right track and taking care of yourself. There is a job out there that is meant for your kind and generous soul, that also doesn't eat you alive. I know you are in therapy and I would encourage you to ask about specific trauma treatments like cognitive processing therapy, prolonged exposure, or EMDR. They can be really effective at addressing the consequences of repeated exposure to trauma and they are relatively short interventions (a few months) compared to traditional talk or supportive therapy.\n\nIm not sure if you are still working as a first responder but if you do and need a break while you figure out what to do next, it may help to transfer to a less busy station or a station that sees different types of calls that are more manageable ( ex: station near a nursing home, you see preditable issues, in a business district, etc). If you are in a city that has firefighters and medics in the same department, maybe transfer to FF work for the time being. \n\nAnd again, good on you for acknowledging how you feel. I see so many people deny it for decades until a major mistake or incident happens and they see how much of themselves they've given away. You can regain your life again and you've already taken such great steps. ", "comment": "Before anyone worries, I will spare the fine details of what brought me to this point, im not sure I even remember them all anymore. And yes i am seeing a psychiatrist and now a therapist too. Just needing to vent. I entered EMT school at 17. 22 now, paramedic, and the warning signs ive pushed off for years have caved in collapsing onto my life all at once. I cant pinpoint a specific event or memory that broke me. Theres too many of them. I re-live a different one every night, wake up to respond to \u201cphantom tones\u201d until i realize that im at home, and lately the nightmares have decided to creep into the daylight as i have begun having flashbacks (i think thats what they are). A child could be playing outside and scream happily but i wont understand that. Ill hear the scream and my heart races, i sweat, my hair stands up, im suddenly aware of everything around me, \u201cits happening again, not again please not another one\u201d as i rush out the door expecting to find the same sort of scene as the dozens that haunt me. I used to be so well-tempered. Now i lash out at people wildly and it makes no sense why. Ive lost interest in all my hobbies i once had. I have based my entire identity and purpose around my work. Ive given so much.. sleepless nights during 48 hour shifts, constant Tears that i held in until alone because I had to be strong for others in the most tragic of moments, ive been assaulted countless times by patients i was helping. Despite how much the field took from me i woke up every day with the feeling that some sort of God or higher power had given me this mission. That it was much more than myself and so with motivation i woke every day ready to \u201csave the world\u201d one person at a time\u201d. It felt good to feel like life had a meaning. To be unable to do it anymore has me so lost. Who am I now? The things i used to identify by i havent done for years nor have any interest in, my true personality is masked by symptoms causing me to act differently. What sort of life am I supposed to live now when i want for nothing else? I dont just feel lost, i feel utterly broken. Im not sure what to do but take my meds go to therapy and find hobbies as my doc has instructed..it all feels fucking pointless. I feel like i turned my back on the world. And yet ironically feel like its turned its back on me. Idk anymore", "post_id": "b4v4kl", "comment_id": "ej9ufqh"}, {"question": "If you're on medical assistance or going to some place that is offering free therapy, you're most likely going to be working with interns or newly graduated therapists (currently working towards obtaining their licenses).  Don't get me wrong, some are really good despite the lack of experience.  Most have a lot of learning to do.  \n\n\nEven in the for-profit field of very experienced therapists there are some horrible ones, and ones that are great but just not great for you.  It's important to shop around.  My suggestion to folks is to give it 3 sessions.  If you don't feel like you connect well and you can see yourself getting a lot out of it after 3, ask for a referral to someone else or another agency.  ", "comment": "Maybe it's wise to mention that in our last meeting before her vacation she said she isn't a real shrink yet. Looking back at it, I am not sure whether or not she was joking because I am shit at recognizing sarcasm so idek what to think about anything she said anymore...  \n\n\nI found a free centre for mental health so I applied to see a psychologist.     \n  The three main things I talked about were:  \n\n\n\\- my abusive nmom  \n\\- my crippling insecurity  \n\\- my episodes of strong apathy  \n\n\n1) The abusive mother \n\n  \n   She couldn't accept that I don't love my mother even though I told her that she is abusive and that it would genuinely greatly benefit me and make me happy if she disappeared from my life one way or another. I admitted I am grateful for the objective things she did as a parent by taking care of me, but she is just so toxic and abusive as a person that we just don't work together at all. She told me I had some \"repressed feelings\" about her. I told her I acknowledge the fact that I may have some biological attachment to her because I have lived with her for 21 years, but so do many people who lived with abusers. She also told me that the best thing to do is to love and accept her for who she is. I told her that I can accept that she will never change, but I will never love her because she is **an abuser**.      \n     \n   I mentioned to her many times that she has both physically and mentally abused me throughout my life. No way is hell will I ever forgive how much she fucked me up nor forget that. I'm not freaking Jesus. I know I technically can, but I don't want to simply because I don't think abusers deserve any respect and I also don't think respect is just blindly given, it's earned. I think she was also a bit dumbfounded when I told her that I learned that family by blood doesn't mean anything to me and that I don't care who someone is, my mom, the president or the pope. If they treat me like shit, I will not respect that. I choose who my family is and my friends have been more supportive and loving toward me than my own family most of the time.  \n\n  \n   I think emotions got in her way maybe because she seemed like she couldn't fathom the fact that somebody can not love family. To a degree I can understand that she doesn't completely understand, but ffs she is supposed to be the shrink here.  \n\n  \n   I am happiest without my mother. When she comes back from her bussiness trips, I feel depressed again. I just thought that it was common sense, especially for a therapist, to know that sometimes you can't fix things and it's time to leave. Which is what I am primarily planning on doing once I gain financial independence.  \n\n  \n2) Insecurity  \n\n  \n   I am extremely insecure about myself about most things. I worry about small stuff alot and it is bothering me more and more. Like, I don't want to work a job that involves talking to people because I'm scared of it, I can't handle stress or pressure at all, I often feel extreme anxiety about stupid things my brain won't let me be cool about. So whenever a job is asking for someone \"communicative, improvising, quick-thinking, charismatic, social etc.\" it just instantly scares me and I move on.  \n\n  \n   I have applied for a digital art course this summer and on the first period we had to introduce ourselves and talk about our motivation for this course and yadda yadda. I actually had alot to say, but when it was my turn, I completely froze. I managed to utter something very brief and vague and I could actually feel my throat tremble. I felt like I was going to have some sort of attack and that I should leave the room. None of this was visible on the outside, but inside I was panicking immensely for no reason at all. I managed to calm down somehow. Another example is actually happening right now. Our course is nearing to an end and we are required to write an evaluation on it. However, we need to write it in our dropbox group so everyone can see what each person wrote. I have some major complaints about the teacher, but I dread of making it public that I have those opinions to the point where I just won't do it unless we're gonna be presented with an anonymous option. I know he's a professional or whatnot but I just couldn't handle the confrontation, I don't want to do it. It can't be normal that I'm this scared and insecure about almost everything. Her solution every time I brought it up was basically \"It's all in your head and you have to get over it.\" Nothing that really helped. She didn't go any deeper into it either despite what I've told her.  \n\n  \n3) Apathy\n\nThis one I discussed with a friend who is also \tseeing a shrink and it was handled almost the same way as my anxiety \tproblem. I told her several times I get these extreme episodes of \tapathy where I can't put myself to work at all. Sometimes I don't \teven do very important things for college because of it and it even \tapplies to things I actually like doing. I don't expect her to \tinstantly diagnose me with something and put me on meds, but she \tkinda always concluded it with how I have to find a way to motivate \tmyself through this and that and to think about the reward and the \tfuture. I know the reward. That's the problem. I kept bringing it up \tas a very strong blockage that keeps holding me back no matter what, \tbut she barely brushed over it. My friend summarized it well:  \n\n\n\"I \tcan't find a way to motivate myself.\"  \n\n\n\"Find a way \tto motivate yourself!\"   \n\n  \n\"...\"  \n\n\nSo anyway, she didn't help... alot. I'm thinking of asking for a different shrink.Maybe I expected too much from a free service? Or maybe it's partly my fault for not being able to express and describe my emotions well? ", "post_id": "8sjaom", "comment_id": "e107kt6"}, {"question": "Brain tumors can't be felt externally, so the bump on your head is irrelevant.\n\nChronic headache for a week that's stable is also unlikely to be a brain tumor, particularly as the first symptom. The other symptoms don't really add up to any particular problem, but it could be something, or the combination of physical symptoms and anxiety.", "comment": "17, male, 5'6, 120lbs, Indian. It all started when I noticed a bump on the back of my head(about a week ago). I have had  headache since. Went to the doctor twice, he told me everything was fine. Might seem stupid but he told me it was just my bone(the bump one my head). The headache never goes away. The thing that I am most worried about is pin and needles in my legs,feet, hands and arms for the past 24 hours. My other symptoms include nausea, stiffness in my legs. Plz help, it's really affecting my day to day life.", "post_id": "g3phof", "comment_id": "fnspjy2"}, {"question": "that is ludicrous!!! it's totally your business and why the heck is he doing that anyway???", "comment": "My boyfriend was doing a lot of texting recently which is unusual for him. He was acting weird being really attached to his phone, freaking out when I would even touch it to move it. I asked him what was going on, if he was hiding something and he insisted he wasn't. We got in to a little argument because of his actions but I let it go because he insisted he wasn't. Then next day he tells me he is texting an ex. I asked him why he hid it from me. He told me it wasnt my business who he texted, and he shouldn't have to ask my permission. He said he was was just telling her about me and she was talking about her kids, and I believe him. But am I wrong for at least expecting him to tell me that he is texting someone he used to date? I didnt feel I was being unreasonable but he says I am. ", "post_id": "6rkrtp", "comment_id": "dl5qes3"}, {"question": "Focus on now. If you get into fifth-derivative hypotheticals about the future, you might as well argue over what Smurfs taste like. ", "comment": "My boyfriend and I are going into our senior year of college and have been dating for almost 2 years. We've discussed the future of our relationship, and we established that we're both in it for the long haul, as we both want the same things in life and plan on moving to the same city after graduation (potentially moving in together after our careers get established). \n\nWe hit a rough patch about six months ago, and I told him that I know that I can't be his #1 priority right now because we're both students and school comes first, but that I was nervous because he values his success in school and his job over EVERYTHING. I was scared that five years down the road, when we should be moving forward with our relationship, he would still value his career over our relationship and that I would never be a priority to him. He told me that that wouldn't happen, and he just needs to work really hard now so that he can pay off his loans and give back to his parents.\n\nTonight, we were talking on the phone about how he is supposed to visit me tomorrow but might not be able to because of work. He said, \"I need to work really hard for the next ten years so that I don't have to worry about loans or anything.\" This kind of set off everything that I was worried about during our rough patch, and now I'm a nervous wreck. I totally get that he needs to work hard now so that he can be successful in the future, and I can't be the #1 priority now. I'm in the same position as him, but I really am worried that further down the line, he'll still value his career over our relationship and I'll have wasted years of my life with someone who will never put me first.\n\nAdvice? Should I talk to him about this or just let it go? It's so far in the future, but I'm a nervous wreck right now.", "post_id": "6dxjjn", "comment_id": "di6f36n"}, {"question": "It does sound as though he's being rather jerkish about this. \n\nPersonally, I'd take my power back and be very blunt and assertive with him. Granted,  if you do this he will likely blow up and try to get control of the situation back in his favor, assuming that if he gets upset enough you will back down. If you go this route, stand your ground at all costs.\n\nHe seems to have forgotten (or not care) that your body is YOURS. You do not need to continuously explain that it hurts, no means no. Period. If he becomes passive aggressive and says things like \"you need to learn to keep up\" tell him if that's how he feels, there's the door, because you are intimate with him by your choice alone. You are not property, and it really bothers me that youre being treated as such. He tries anyway after you tell him no? Absolutely unacceptable. He has no respect for you or your body. \n\nThe reason he becomes distant is because he didnt get what he wanted and is trying to \"punish\" you for it. I've been in a very similar situation,  which is why I probably seem so upset about this. Please understand my frustration is 100% towards how he treats you, and not towards you.\n\nIf he is the kind of person I'm imagining he is, this suggestion wont likely work but I will offer it anyway: before you guys get In a heated moment try discussing the issue with him. Before he tries to make a move, and before things get intimate.  Explain your concerns and be very direct about it. \"I've noticed you get frustrated with me when I dont want to have sex with you sometimes, and when I say it hurts and I dont want to, you either disregard what im saying or become passive aggressive followed by becoming incredibly distant. What are your thoughts on that?\" I'd also take this opportunity to explain to him your body is yours and you dont EVER have to be intimate with him if you dont want to. \n\nPlease PM me if you ever want to discuss this further. I sincerely want to help, and I've been in a relationship like this before. I understand the feeling of not knowing what to do - and how no matter what you do in this situation its \"wrong\" in his eyes. My heart goes out to youm", "comment": "My relationship is very sexed up. We shove, slap, choke, push each other's faces against walls, and call one another some pretty blush-worthy names. \n\nDon't get me wrong. We're not constantly a pair of bunnies; however, if at least one us is hot and ready... the other will soon follow suit. It's go time. And this will normally go on for a few hours at a time. \n\nIf I have not made it clear enough, we have very rough sex. That's all fine and dandy, but my vag is not indestructible. Sometimes it hurts TOO MUCH because of the previous session and I just can't do it. I need the R&R. The problem is, my boyfriend will try to get things going between us and when I tell him I really can't at the moment, he'll proceed to be miffed at me. \n\nHe either:\n\na) Says something passive aggressive: \"You need to learn to keep up\"\n\nb) Tries anyway (only when I've persistently whined and complained about the pain will he stop)\n\nAfter that's all said and done, he's distant. His vocabulary dissolves into monosyllables, he won't touch me. He will completely ignore what has just gone down. I don't know, it's as if I'm stepping on his pride when my lustiness doesn't outweigh the raging pain in my lady region. \n\nWhat can I say to get him to understand how and why his behavior during these types of situations is not okay?\n", "post_id": "2a0zf0", "comment_id": "ciqgrlv"}, {"question": "Test results cannot be interpreted in the absence of any history. Please post the required information, including:\n\nDuration of complaint, location on body, any diagnosed medical issues, current medications and doses, any recreational drugs\n\nIn particular, we need to know why MS is on the list of things to be tested for and if you have had any other testing done.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "b31ftp", "comment_id": "eiwgw45"}, {"question": "That sounds really frustrating and I can imagine how it just seems like you\u2019re not getting anywhere. A couple questions:  What are your goals for therapy? Are they measurable or are the abstract?", "comment": "I am hoping I can get feedback on what exactly is supposed to happen in therapy. I have seen one therapist for five months and didn't seem to make any progress. Then two others and although their styles are different I cannot figure out what is supposed to really happen. Maybe it is the style? All I seem to do is talk about my past and current things that upset me and they listen and once in a while make some statements and that is really all. I always thought there would be some structure or a plan/outline to follow with objectives, goals and more of a business plan. I feel like I have spoken of my trauma and how it effects me now and have talked about things that upset me etc but then what is next? I am not sure what I expected but just more. \n\nWhat is really supposed to happen? If A patient/client talks about prior sexual assault or ex an unhealthy attachment with mother then what? You disclose and talk about it but what comes after. It is just out there and I feel like there is something missing like next steps?\nOr is it simply taking and just getting pain out? I was hoping to get actual help processing it and how to improve my life and thinking towards a healthier manner as I don't have the tools to do that on my own. Talking is not working well enough. I don't feel any better than when I started?", "post_id": "fq3lab", "comment_id": "flp642s"}, {"question": "All the psychiatric facilities around me are insisting on testing prior to admission and trying to maintain social distancing on the units. It's not perfect, but it has seemed to work well.\n\nYou don't mention any other treatment your girlfriend has or has had. Does she take any medications? Does she have a psychiatrist and/or therapist? Has she or have you reached out to those people?", "comment": "My girlfriend has a pre existing condition of COPD. She also has a mental illness that results in near constant suicidality . She's been declining for two weeks and for the past 3 days she has been at her worst in 2 years. She can't stay present without withdrawing back to a dissociative state rapidly. She has expressed her suicidal ideation more than ever. What's the risk she would contract Covid during a psychiatric stay?", "post_id": "jupd00", "comment_id": "gcenjqy"}, {"question": "Most \"low blood sugar\" symptoms aren't due to low blood sugar, especially in people who aren't taking medication that can lower blood sugar (i.e. diabetics on insulin or oral agents). What you're describing could also be panic/anxiety.\n\nOf course, the only way to know is to have some testing done during one of these episodes.", "comment": "Caucasian/23/F/166lbs/5'3\"/no smoking or drinking; born with arrhythmia that's genetic. I've been having infrequent episodes of low blood sugar symptoms occurring randomly every few days. It can happen right after a meal or even an hour after. I get shaky, I feel hungry, I break into a cold sweat and my arrhythmia is aggravated by it so I experience heart palpitations. As I'm typing this I'm having the exact same symptoms--and I had a piece of candy about an hour ago. Do I have hypoglycemia? Should I be worried? It's 11:30 pm, I don't want to disturb the family by getting up to eat something. \n\nEDIT: Current medications: Pristiq, Seroquel, Intuniv, BC oral contraceptive.", "post_id": "898v64", "comment_id": "dwq5n6h"}, {"question": "Where are you and what are this guy\u2019s credentials??", "comment": "Ive had two sessions with this man, and felt a bit of hope, \"Maybe he can help me get better\" which was a big surprise because I've been to many therapists before and none helped in any way. \n\nYet, I wasn't 100% comfortable. I told him I'm not comfortable anymore with any \"new age\" stuff, knowing he's a therapist but also a fervent believer of that crap, and he initially agreed to keep the therapy apart from that. \n\nThe second session came around and all the time was wasted answering his questions about my family. I thought it was meant to create a context for my experiences, but by the end he explained some wacky shit about spirits and karma and family lines. I was 50% convinced to leave and never return, but then he asked me to return a few days later to give me medication that would help my symptoms.\n\nI chose to return for the meds, thinking he would give me a note to buy some antidepressants at the drugstore. Turns out the dude wants to sell me water. Just......water. Oooh! But it's magickal waters \"irradiated\" with the \"essence\" of medicinal plants, therefore creating \"quantum\" medicine!! All created and approved by Masaru Emoto himself! \n\nI am so tired, Reddit. I've got problems to deal with and I can't believe I lost my time and money on this clown. Fuck this. ", "post_id": "9pxozg", "comment_id": "e856xvz"}, {"question": "No, there's no need to taper off after such a short time or such a low dose.", "comment": "I'm a male, 71 kgs, 5ft9 and 23 years old. I've been on 25 mg of sertraline (zoloft) for the past 4 days. However due to really bad side effects i was advised to stop taking the pills. Should i 'taper off' after such a short amount of time? \n\nHow should i proceed if i have to taper off? Could i experience withdrawal effects? \n\n​\n\nThank you very much in advance. ", "post_id": "9inono", "comment_id": "e6l7xew"}, {"question": "I'm 18 myself and I got sober at 17. I picked up 9 months on the 9th. Going to 12 step meetings because you're mom is making you is most likely not going to be a sucessful endeavor. I can tell you that the only difference made in my life was by working the steps. No amount of treatment, no counselor, no number of meetings held any bearing on my sobriety, it all came from a spiritual experience as the result of the 12 steps. There isn't a switch I can hit in my life and I'll be sober. The past 9 months have been the result of constant maintenence and the only way I can continue with my sobriety is if I can continue my spiritual maintenence.", "comment": "I'm going to try and keep this short. I'm 18 years old with an amphetamine habit which may be an addiction. I'm in a 12 step program at the will of my mom, but I've taken a lot away from it. I'm told over and over again that I can quit now and have a great future, or I can continue to use and I will *without a doubt* hit rock bottom. I like to think it won't get any worse. I can go a few weeks with nothing more than a craving, but inevitably I end up using. So far, I haven't had any major repercussions as a result of my use, so I continue to use. PLEASE, if your story is similar to mine, tell me if/why I'm wrong and tell me if my problem rally will get as bad as I'm told. ", "post_id": "1ha6ik", "comment_id": "cb1x6fa"}, {"question": "Wooo hooo!!! Congratulations!!!  Treat yourself to something amazing because you deserve it!!!  Keep it up!!!  This is inspiring!", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "hmvmmo", "comment_id": "fx8wihu"}, {"question": "Hm. You should probably see a doctor. Could be a number of things, including heart block.", "comment": "I was doing heavy bench pressing and after one of the sets my heart started pounding super fast and hard all of a sudden (about 180 per minute). I was not out of breath, nor did I feel tired. The heart rate would not go down.\n\nI decided to leave the gym, and after about 10 minutes my heart rate finally dropped.\n\nThis is not the first time. It happened to me last week as I was doing heavy deadlifts. Both time, it took about 15 minutes before my heart rate went back to normal. My normal rest heart rate is around 70.\n\nShould I stop weight training for a while and start doing some steady cardio (I'm in my early 30s, 6'2, 220lbs)?\n\nI don't drink coffee at all. My life is pretty steady and I'm not stressed by anything. I get around 8 hours sleep per night.\n", "post_id": "5x1cd8", "comment_id": "defa6ag"}, {"question": ">In the Long Run\n\nOne of my favorite lyrics/pieces of wisdom ever is from \"Already Gone,\" also by the Eagles:\n    \nWell I know it wasn't you who held me down    \nHeaven knows it wasn't you who set me free    \nSo often times it happens that we live our lives in chains    \nAnd we never even know we have the key\n", "comment": "I know that AA has helped millions and will continue to help millions more but there are other ways to stay sober without AA. I found reading to be a great comfort. I was able to lose myself in a book for hours on end. I was able to deal with the day knowing at night it was going to be escaping into a novel. I also connected to a few songs that were very powerful for me. That Smell, Aint no Grave, I Was Wrong, Fight the Good Fight, Dogs, Coming Back to Life, In the Long Run, just to name a few. I would memorize these lyrics so I could recall whenever I needed to hear them. When I started reading again I really connected to the Count of Monte Cristo. I had a trauma happen to me and all at the time all I could think about was revenge. This book helped me deal with revenge as I read about Edmond's life. Crime and Punishment was another book that helped me. I liked how it dealt with morals but I won't say anymore incase anyone is going to read it. I hope this has helped anyone who doesn't like AA as well as those who attend AA.  \n\nD", "post_id": "uyny8", "comment_id": "c4zry9y"}, {"question": "1. How old is your kiddo?       \n2. What are the things you are seeing that are leading you to ask this question?", "comment": "I was  wondering what online resources there are for helping me work out if my son has a mental condition. I don't want to over-worry but at the same time with isolation it's hard for me to find time / get traditional help on this. Also worried that if we do find out any risks, how I can best act to help in an isolation environment.\n\nAny ideas?", "post_id": "ggpqbu", "comment_id": "fq6l4yt"}, {"question": "Remember this small victory the next time you feel discouraged. I've found that it's important to remember the things we do well just as much, if not more, than the things we do wrong. ", "comment": "I finally felt it, for once in my life. With all the mistakes I make, all the issues that arise, I finally feel like I actually didn't do anything wrong. I work on insurance files making sure peoples benefits are accurately recorded. The normal would be me messing up the process on a forgettable step. It was seeming that way for today when I saw the dreaded email where our customer wasn't happy with the discrepancy that had occured.     \n\n\n  I looked into the issue as requested by the president of our small company, and was starting to see that things weren't adding  up when the dates were matching on our side. I talked to my boss and he directed me to a specific database table that would register all the changes on records I was working on.  \n\n\n  Sure enough, I had done my work correctly, and the issue was caused further down the road in the hands of another coworker. I couldn't believe it. I am savoring this small victory, because this is what I needed.", "post_id": "6q4lze", "comment_id": "dkupu6e"}, {"question": "Often times meds themselves don't automatically correct the behaviors associated with ADHD. For example, if you're a student with ADHD- you might have had a rather chaotic study style prior to medications. Meds won't automatically correct your behavior- they will however make it possible for you to do so. Likewise with many other behaviors that one is accustomed to pre-treatment, sometimes people need assistance in learning to modify those behaviors to ones that are more helpful. ", "comment": "I've been going to a psychologist and yes he's cool to talk to about stuff and he helps me with study strategies and worries about the future but I was wondering what the point was past just talking? I know this is unorthodox for this sub sorry.", "post_id": "2gi9y5", "comment_id": "ckjubev"}, {"question": "call the police NOW", "comment": "Hi all\n\nMy girlfriend\u2019s sister Sarah [25F] has been in an on-off relationship with Mark [24M] for 5 years. Their relationship is not great. Mark is emotionally manipulative towards Sarah and has a history of mental illness. Sarah\u2019s family has told her to stay away from Mark and their relationship has broken down many times in the past.\n\n**Today, my girlfriend told me that Mark had hit Sarah.** Sarah came home one night and broke down and confessed. Apparently, this violence has been happening for months and she has not told anybody. She has been hit in the face, stomach, arms, and her groin area. There are no obvious signs of bruising.\n\nSarah doesn\u2019t want to leave Mark. She doesn\u2019t want to talk to anyone or seek treatment. She knows that she is in a physically and mentally abusive relationship but still does not want to leave as she blames it on herself. I only found out about this because my girlfriend let it slip to me at coffee. No one else knows.\n\nIf this happens again, I will call the police on Mark. However, my girlfriend is scared of what will happen to Sarah if we call the police on him given his history of mental illness. I have thought about using an anonymous therapy/support line. Can anyone give us some advice?\n\n**Tl;dr - my girlfriend's sister is in an abusive relationship with a guy with a history of mental problems. He is violent towards her and is emotionally manipulative. She doesn't want to leave, won't tell anybody, and blames herself. We feel helpless.**", "post_id": "5xmgxz", "comment_id": "dej8ve5"}, {"question": "It is difficult to air things out when arguments are toxic yelling matches. \n\nTherapy focused on anger management and effective communication is a good long term bet. ", "comment": "Hello,\nMe (23M) and my girlfriend (26F) of 6 months recently got into some nasty arguments, and she has become increasingly passive aggressive with me over the past two weeks.\nShe is an au pair here in the US, but she's going back to her home country, Spain in a week for her vacation (3 weeks). She really misses her family, her dog is depressed and won't eat, her grandfather is dying, and her younger sister is suffering from some kind of psychological issue where she gets anxiety when she's away from her mother. Her parents are divorced, and her mom is having some difficulties making ends meet because her father refuses to pay for child support. So I do think that's she's very homesick at this point. She hasn't seen her family in 8 months, and apparently family is huge in Spanish culture.\n\nWell, in the past month we got into arguments that basically centered around me apparently not caring about her and being negligent. We were at a bar recently, and I didn't do anything when some guy hit on her. She said she wanted to feel protected, I said \"you're a grown woman, it's not hard to say no to a guy, and he wasn't forcing himself on you.\" In another instance, I went to Montreal for work, and I didn't text her for 2 days, and she got upset that I didn't keep her updated.\n\nI should also note that, for the first time I exploded at her and yelled at her for being so passive aggressive for two weeks. I regret that, obviously, but I was just so fed up with her treatment.\nShe said she wanted a break to clear her mind, to calm down, and to spend time with her family and friends back home. She said she has so many feelings right now, and she needs time to think about us.\nWhen asked, she said she wouldn't be \"looking for anything from anyone,\" and that we would have a date to talk over things when she got back. She said that she still believes a relationship is possible, but she doesn't know what's going to happen once she goes on this trip.\n\nBasically, I believe she's torn between staying in the US, and going back to Spain for good. Or maybe she made up her mind already\n.\nTwo days after her break declaration, I had a talk with her in person, and I explained to her in a very calm manner that I loved her, I cared for her, and I'm willing to make the changes she wanted in order for this relationship to work. I also said I'd be willing to see a psychologist to work through some of these issues while she was away. I have since been in no contact.\n\nShe also said she loves me, but her kisses weren't as deep, not as passionate, and she didn't want to stay for sex. Which is a first. She also took her clothes from my apartment, saying she needed them for Spain. She left her deodorant and toothbrush when I asked her if she wants to take those as well, lol. Not sure if this is at all worth mentioning; perhaps I'm looking too much into this.\n\nAs I said she's an au pair, and she made it clear to me that she wants to marry me. She even asked for a promise ring, which I laughed at.\n\nSo is this her way of saying goodbye for good? Or do I have a shot when she comes back? What is the best course of action here, given all that I said? Please give it your all, because I'm willing to do it for her now. Thank you.\n\ntl:dr girlfriend thinks I don't care about her, got into nasty fights, now reconsidering staying in the US with me by taking a break.\n\nEdit: she is leaving next Thursday morning for 3 weeks. It is Friday morning as a write this. She said she wanted a break this Monday.\n\nEdit: Just wanted to add some closure to the discussion. \nI ended up breaking it off with her. I asked her how she feels emotionally about us, whether she feels in the relationship or not. She said she's \"emotionally done.\"\nSo I decided to nuke it. Said via text, \"Ok. Enjoy your vacation, it was a great learning experience.\" Removed her from all social media, threw away all her stuff in my apartment. \nNow that I've gone through this, it's amazing to see how quickly a woman can turn her heart off to a man, regardless of how special she may have seemed. I don't mean that in a bad way necessarily, just an observation. We were literally talking about marriage and kids 3 weeks ago with high hopes. Haha how naive of me. \nI want to thank everyone for the advice. Time to listen to Mr. Brightside and move onto the next one.", "post_id": "69egv6", "comment_id": "dh5wvpl"}, {"question": "nothing is weird between 2 consenting adults.  everyone just has to be in a comfort zone.", "comment": "I recently tried anal with my boyfriend and we both enjoyed it and have used a butt plug as well. I asked him to use the butt plug and my small vibrator on me at the same time and of course I wanted to have sex as well. He flat out said no and gave me no reason why. Am I asking too much?? Is it too weird?? I still wanna try it and I even wanna be hand cuffed and blind folded but I don't think it'll ever be more than a fantasy...", "post_id": "6dy81r", "comment_id": "di69xkh"}, {"question": "Several things you 've stated have led me to guess trauma, at the very least attachment trauma. When a child is neglected or hurt when they get close to a care giver/parent, closeness is anxiety provoking. It is difficult to sort through sexuality when it is interwoven with abuse. You have to resolve and treat the trauma first, then explore sexuality. You can't get a clear sense of what is healthy or who you are when you are viewing everything in your life through a clouded lens. ", "comment": "I'm 18 (nearly 19), boyfriend is the same. Freshmen in college. We've been together for 4 years. We have known each other longer and are in a very committed relationship. Not a kids relationship by any means emotionally. However he is very sexually repressed and recently revealed to me that sex seems disgusting to him. I need the sexual intimacy of a relationship, even if not sex itself, beyond just hugs and kisses.\n\nA few things to know: NO, there has never been a chance for sex before going to college (we go to the same college). We are both virgins. \n\nSo basically, we've been in college for 2ish months. We have privacy now, which means freedom. I sleep in his apartment regularly now. There was a moment we almost had sex. Condom on, clothes off. But my boyfriend basically quit immediately, overwhelmed, and left me alone at 2 am.\n\nAbout him: He has been dealing with...something (my bet guesses are borderline personality disorder and depression) for, I'd say the last 2 years. He says a lot of depressed/suicidal comments often. Examples: \"Life is never good.\" \"I see nothing worth living for.\" \"I wan't to die.\"  Now, I have personally talked to him about this, and he doesn't want to kill himself. However the meaning behind them is true, he doesn't like life. To me, its totally opposite, because i love life. It should be known here I have been diagnosed with Generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and panic attacks. I have my own struggles too. I am currently seeking help and improving drastically.  He is also now very pessimistic. Very negative half the time. He has a short fuse. I definitely believe there to be some sort of anger issue there. He gets angry at stuff before it has even happened sometimes. He goes through times where he is very unmotivated. I've made him sound rather negative here, but don't be fooled. He's a very kind, funny, fun, and loving guy. He has never verbally or physically abused me. It's all very personal to him and more of an inner struggle.\n\nHe doesn't have the best family life. He's got a devil for a sister (and of course, they are not close), his Dad yelled and judged him a lot. Even told him he thought he had a mental problem for wanting to stay in his room away from them all the time. Mom is VERY Christian. Overly Christian almost. From what I know, she labeled sex early on to be ALWAYS bad and she can't even tolerate any comments relating to it, cuss words, dirty jokes, the list goes on.\n\nWe haven't done much. Hug. Kiss. Sometimes a lot of clothes are off. Sleep together.\n\u007fA couple a years a go, things were different. We used to make out all the time, and touch each other. Now, if I even get close, he shies away from it, even if I am not going for it.\n\nI got frustrated today and pushed for answers because I am confused to why things have not been as one would think. He informed me that he thinks the act of sex is disgusting. Touching is gross. And he's not sure he will ever have sex.  He couldn't tell me more than that. Just that he thinks its gross and that he WANTS to, but can't get over how gross it is to him.\n\nSO my question.... is there a possibility he's asexual, or is there maybe a deeper issue? Whether it be nurture from his mom, a psychological affliction, etc. And what should I do? I have already, and am, pushing for him to see someone as I do for my social anxiety.\n\nKeep in mind, our relationship isn't bad. We both love each other more than anything. \n\ntl;dr\nBoyfriend and I have gotten close to sex several times and are very close, but intimacy has backed off a lot over the past year. I think he is going through some psychological distress because of troubling behavior on his end and I want to help, but if he is asexual I don't want to push my sexuality on him. I'm confused.", "post_id": "58rul4", "comment_id": "d92uo9w"}, {"question": "Actually, it is common that some people experience some form of deperaonalization (not feeling like your arm is your actual arm etc). As long as everything feels back to normal, I wouldn't worry about it. Sleep deprivation can most definitely be a contribution factor. I once felt like my legs weren't mine. I was overworked and had very little sleep. If it returns I would then think about talking to someone. ", "comment": "Last night I woke up in my bed around 3 am and had this extreamly wierd feeling. I felt disconnected from my body and nothing felt real. When I looked at my self in the mirror I knew it was me but I was seriously questioning it. \n\nAt first I thought it was pretty cool, but after 10 minutes I got really scared since it didn\u00b4t go away. In my mind I had a full panic attack but it was like my body ignored it and stayed calm and rational. I then started wondering if I was experiencing a stroke but after some google-searches I found the wikipedia article on [depersonalization](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization) and it describes the feeling pretty well. \n\nI took a shower and I felt a lot better when I could focus on something else but the feeling returned as soon as my mind was not occupied. After a while I fell asleep and when I woke up this morning everything was back to normal. \n\nIs this something i should worry about or is it normal? I have had some sleep-depriviation lately due to school but otherwise things have been normal. Can also add that I am a 22 year old male with no history of mental illness. Thanks in advance.\n\n(Sorry if my spelling or grammar is incorrect)\n", "post_id": "2s2s7k", "comment_id": "cnlm85j"}, {"question": "Coffee\u2019s a good first date. \n\nApproach her after class. If she\u2019s walking somewhere just walk with her for a minute. \n\n\u201cHey MARY, how\u2019s it going. I was wondering if you might want to grab coffee this weekend.\u201d  is a perfectly acceptable way to ask someone out.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "7tcnjb", "comment_id": "dtbih3f"}, {"question": "I think it's good practice to give a quick greeting in passing to just about anyone so long as they make eye contact, even strangers.  \n\n\nIt may be anxiety producing at first but will work wonders in helping you overcome social anxiety.  On top of that, if you ever wanted to spark up a conversation with anyone, it's much easier after they've seen you around and you've greeted them, even if it's just a quick \"hello\"  \"good morning\" \"hey, what's up?\" \n\nSome folks may find this off putting, but honestly, that's just usually because they're jealous of your confidence to do this or their own social anxiety is getting the best of them.  More often than not, people will just see you as being polite, friendly, and confident.  ", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "a7qb1w", "comment_id": "ec4zlbs"}, {"question": "If you have a loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities and decreased energy, then you can be diagnosed with depression. Nevertheless id be ensuring that other common medical conditions are excluded prior to antidepressant use, which seems to have happened. Also given that you had some response to sertraline means that they're probably on the right track.\n\nWhat doses to your antidepressants did you get up to?\n\nEdit: if your sex drive is affected, it wont be permanent, but you should tell the doc. We're not here to torture you with the medication.", "comment": "19, male, 5 foot 11, 125 pounds, White British, 5+ years, England, depression maybe?, about to start Effexor (venlafaxine).\n\nAs you can tell by this information I am underweight, I just can't muster the energy to eat.\n\nMy mind is foggy, I can't think, my body aches.\n\nI don't feel sad, I am just tired 24/7 and it's driving me crazy.\n\nI've been on 3 different SSRIs, Zoloft, Prozac and Citalopram. None of them seemed to help me, though Zoloft may have helped bring some colour and clarity back at some point.\n\nI had a blood test for vitamins, minerals, organ function and thyroid. There were no significant deficiencies.\n\nCould I have a sleep disorder? Sleep apnoea perhaps?\n\nI want to be sure before I commit to a serious SNRI like Effexor, I am terrified of losing my sex drive forever or something else equally awful.\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "5gqe6u", "comment_id": "daunj5t"}, {"question": "tell her now, you'll be a stand up guy unlike the pigs of the world who use people", "comment": "Me and this girl have been hanging out a lot and although we haven't spoke about it, it's pretty obvious this is heading towards a relationship. I want to let her know that I'm genuinely not looking for one before anything gets to serious since I really don't want to lead her on and hurt her feelings. Should I tell her as soon as possible or wait?", "post_id": "6ie1ov", "comment_id": "dj5kp44"}, {"question": "Hello! \n\nMy city has a unique program where I am a therapist with the fire department. We have two teams where one takes the 911 mental health calls and another team to follow up with services/referrals. \n\nHere are a few things: there will be some people that will exhaust all of their resources and their baseline feelings will be suicidal ideation. The best you can do is talk to them and do your due diligence. Many want to be heard, some just want negative attention. \n\nLook up motivational interviewing, with is what we mainly use as well as brief solution focused therapy (what do you need in the moment for you to thrive.) You can also look up grounding/deescalation techniques if they are getting worked up. You can also look up Mental Health First aid courses in your area and become certified (could potentially be a pay bump too.)\n\nAgain you probably have frequent flyers where you think \"oh great we are going to see X\", or \"I dealt with them last time it's your turn.\" That's typical for most first responders  but there is an underlying reason to these patient's behaviors. Some of these people just lack basic resources and don't necessarily know how to get them. There can be some broken links in the process especially if they are brought to the ER and are not set up with proper resources from the social workers at the hospital. Listen to them, hear their story, and see how you can help. If they are suicidal police would be able to put them on a 72 hour hold/eval. It helps with some and not others. Try to be supportive in the moment and see what they need/how you may help. ", "comment": "Hey all, \n\nFirst things first: Sorry for formatting (on mobile). Sorry for the terrible throwaway name. \n\nI am a paramedic/firefighter and recently we have had a string of calls for \u201csuicidal\u201d patients. I put it in quotes because each call is different and each patient is at a different point in the process of having Suicidal Ideations to acting upon them. \n\nOur contact time with these patients is usually between 15-60 minutes based on the level of their immediate medical needs. Throughout paramedic school and in our Continuing Education training pretty much the only advice we are given in dealing with these patients is just to \u201cbe supportive\u201d. Obviously this advice is good and much better than being judgmental or criticizing the patient, but I am wondering if there is more I can do. \n\nEach patient is obviously different from one another, so I know it\u2019s hard to give broad suggestions. Other than just speaking to them in a supportive manner and tone/not acting condescending or judgmental, what can I do? \n\nTime is a limited factor in asking the background of why they are feeling this way, and we are transporting the patients to an emergency room to be medically cleared to go to a psych facility that has highly trained professionals waiting. \n\nThe physical health aspect is easy and straightforward to deal with. The mental health needs of these patients is what I would like to feel more comfortable with. \n\nThank you in advance for any advice!\n\nEDIT: This is also my first time ever posting to Reddit, so I apologize if I made and newbie mistakes", "post_id": "8o17q4", "comment_id": "e00nw4v"}, {"question": "The only way to know with certainty is to either become psychotic or not become psychotic over time, and you can say what this was with the clarity of hindsight. However, from what you describe, I agree with your GP. Your experience sounds a lot more like anxiety, and particularly anxiety about becoming psychotic, than a prodrome.", "comment": "17, Male, UK, Diagnosed GAD + OCD, No medications.\n\nNo family history of mental health issues\n\nPD = Psychotic Disorder\n\nDPDR = Depersonalisation/Derealisation \n\nSymptoms:\n\nLoud thoughts: when in a highly anxious state, my thoughts can become very loud and fast paced, almost like internal shouting, and can almost feel like they\u2019re going to burst out of my head and I\u2019m going to start hearing them, or that my head is going to explode. As well as regular thoughts, I tend to also replay conversations that I\u2019ve had in the past, or things that I\u2019ve seen on TV, however these always feel like my thoughts, not that of a separate person, are not audible, and never give me commands or engage me in conversation. > week\n\nVoices in sounds: ever time I hear any type of background noise, my brain instantly assumes I\u2019m hearing things/voices, and so is constantly trying to decipher words/sentences from random noises, which can make it feel like I\u2019m hearing things, despite never being able to hear anything other than the noise. > week\n\nVisual disturbances: at times, normally during a stressful period, I will see little flickers in my vision that disappear within less than a second. It will often be like a small streak of light that moves so fast that I hardly have time to process that it\u2019s happened. > week \n\nDepression: recently my mood has decreased and I\u2019ve spent 99% of my time purely focusing on distracting myself from my own thoughts rather than engaging in anything productive or social interactions. > week \n\nNightmares: I have been experiencing very confusing and disturbing nightmares that will stay in my mind for the rest of the day after they have happened. 1 week\n\n2 years ago I spent a period of roughly 6 months smoking weed on occasion. While high, I had a panic attack, and shortly after stopped doing any drugs. About 4 months later I had a close family member pass away, and began to experience panic attacks and dissociation (DPDR) while sober. The severity of my anxiety and DPDR only increased over the coming years, until I eventually left full time education in February due to my inability to cope with it alongside my mental health issues. Since November 2018 i have had severe health anxiety, and my \u2018theme\u2019 for this changes every 2-3 months. My themes have been: Heart Attack, Stroke, Seizure, and PD\u2019s. My themes will start with a simple worry, and progressively become more and more obsessive, until I get to a point where I am absolutely convinced that the theme is true, and very little can convince me otherwise, even leading to me calling emergency services, as I genuinely believe that there is something seriously wrong with me. For the last 2 months I have been in a theme of worrying about developing a PD, whether that be psychosis, schizophrenia, or bipolar. It started when I was on the phone with a friend and he mentioned about someone he knew that had schizophrenia. Shortly after our call I began searching online about PD\u2019s and ended up having a panic attack out of the fear of developing one. For the following month I was in a non stop cycle of constantly checking every little movement in my vision in a hopes to confirm that I was hallucinating and becoming psychotic. This was causing me so much stress that I was persistently vomiting out of pure fear. During this time I was only aware that people with PD\u2019s hallucinated, and so was only looking out for hallucinations rather than worrying about any other symptoms of a PD. After about a month of this cycle I was finally able to calm myself down and not worry about developing a PD. During this period I also experienced none of the so called \u201csymptoms\u201d that I was experiencing during my month of worrying. However, after only a week of not worrying about PD\u2019s, the fears returned and it caused some of the absolute worst anxiety and stress that I have ever experienced in my life. For about 3 days I spent every waking moment in a highly overwhelmed anxious state, as I was certain that I was developing a PD. After the first 3 days, I began to experience the racing/shouting thoughts. It was like all my thoughts were being yelled at me in my head, and even when I did calm down it still felt like my head was completely crowded with a million thoughts all racing around at once. I tried to just shake it off but after only 2 days of these shouting thoughts I was certain that I had a PD. I got a same day doctors appointment with my GP and I told him what was going on and my fear of becoming psychotic. He told me that from the information I had given him, i didn\u2019t show signs of being psychotic, and that the racing thoughts were most likely just a product of my extremely anxious state of mind. When I returned home from the doctors, I tried my best to calm down, and surprisingly the shouting/racing thoughts actually subsided for the most part, as long as I was keeping my mind calm and distracted. However, that afternoon I began to experience the visual disturbances, and although I have experienced these before when in an extremely anxious state, they were still extremely concerning for me and put me back into an anxious state. I am currently able to manage the loud/racing thoughts by keeping myself as calm as possible, however as soon as my anxiety begins to build, they instantly return. At this point in time I am absolutely certain that I am in the prodromal stage of schizophrenia and the thought of having a PD is without a doubt the most harrowing and terrifying reality that I have ever experienced in my life. I am in desperate need of the opinion from a qualified psychiatrist as i won\u2019t be able to see one any time soon.", "post_id": "chb31d", "comment_id": "eur3v05"}, {"question": "One suggestion is \"staying curious\" about the other person. If you find the issue when meeting new people, start by asking \"open ended questions\" such as questions that do not require a YES or NO response. Then be curious and reflect back to ensure understanding...\"wow that must have been a fun experience\" or \"what else is there to know about you?\".  The questions depend on the setting and topic. Remember if they cant accept you for you then it might not be worth the trouble to \"make\" them like you.  It is still anxiety provoking though trying to process information while remaining aware of subtle non-verbals. ", "comment": "I manage to get over the anxiety of it but have trouble when thinking of what to say without sounding boring or rude. My mind goes blank. Also I don't show a lot of facial expression. Any tips?", "post_id": "7j5km7", "comment_id": "dr41di5"}, {"question": "Asking doctors is not useful because we are rarely measuring penises. It's irrelevant for almost all medical care. But we can find information, and in a  [large systematic review of some 15k men](https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bju.13010) the average penis length erect is 13.12 cm, or 5.16 in. Penis length correlates with size, but not very strongly.\n\nExcept in rare extremes, penis length is not particularly significant. There's no way to study whether longer or shorter penises have more pleasure because pleasure is so subjective and any given person only gets to experience having one penis. There are no greater or lower risks of disease. It's hard to do rigorous studies on what sexual partners prefer in a penis, and those results seem to be all over the place. Women's stated preferences in penis size (mostly preferring width) don't even seem to track well with reported satisfaction (largely independent of size). A gestalt is that men seem to spend much more time worrying about this than women do; women don't care. (The surveys are all of men and women. Perhaps in the future they will go by genitalia and not by gender, but we use the data we have.)\n\nBottom line: you're average and have nothing to worry about, but you probably also wouldn't have anything to worry about if your penis were an inch longer or shorter.", "comment": "EDIT: If anyone knows of any links to scientific studies showing the exact measurements of the men of the studies I'd love to see any links\n\n​\n\nI don't even know if this will be the right place or if I'll get any response. I wanted to talk specifically to doctors, and especially those that see a lot of naked men, so maybe like urologists. I have heard all the rational, I know size doesn't matter, I know men are the only ones that care, I know \"average\" size is like 5.2\" (depending on what studies you read) and that there are lots of flaws with studies done, but I wondered about a more REAL example. I also realize it's a bit flawed because what most doctors see is a flaccid penis, and flaccid penises vary WILDLY in size, and you got growers and showers and all that stuff.\n\nA bit of background on me real quick. I'm male, 28, I am 6'3\", weigh about 300lbs, my penis is circumcised, 5\"-5.25\" when erect, 4.25\" girth, somewhere around those dimensions. I have severe anxiety disorders and depression, and body dysmorphia, specifically revolving around my penis. I have very mixed up body expectations, and much of it has come from my pornography addiction (I'm working on recovering, and working with a therapist). So I've had pretty severe anxiety and depression about my penis, and even with all the rational facts I still struggle. So my plan is to collect as much real world facts and information and then I can keep reminding myself these things as I build a new self identity.\n\n​\n\nMy basic question for doctors, or those that may have an unbias experience with mixed random men, pretend you lined 100 naked guys up, what would the most common sizes be? If you saw me, a 6'3\" overweight guy with a 5\" penis, how would I stand out?\n\n​\n\nAlso is there ANY difference between larger or smaller penises? More pleasure for him, or less pleasure? Ease in urinating? More risks of disease? Anything?\n\n​\n\nAgain, just trying to rally up as much logical information to educate myself and work on creating a more realistic mindset.\n\n​\n\nThis is such a weird question lol sorry about all this. And if you feel more comfortable talking privately that's fine too. All I ask is no images please, images don't help my addiction recovery. Thanks!", "post_id": "helvmn", "comment_id": "fvsd9do"}, {"question": "Have you tried practicing mindfulness at all?", "comment": "Everything's on fire now? Calm. Need to rest up so I'm ready when everything's on fire later? Panic.\n\nI swear I can't properly rest unless there's something stressing me that I'm avoiding. I can get distracted, but I can't \"just take a break\".\n\nAny tips on this?", "post_id": "a6lt5b", "comment_id": "ebw09fv"}, {"question": "Thanks for the update, and I\u2019m glad your dad is okay.\n\nBecause there\u2019s not a question I\u2019m going to close this but leave it up.", "comment": "So it doesn't get deleted - 56m, 5'10, 175lbs, caucasian.\n\nu/PokeTheVeil in specific as you were the responding physician - he did survive. He was released from the hospital today (so hospitalized for a total of five days) with a sodium level of 130. Not perfectly where it needs to be but he checked himself out anyways. Doctor said it got that low due to a combination of not eating properly and his blood pressure medication which has since been switched. He is still suffering from weakness but says he feels much better and has prescriptions/a loose diet plan now to regulate it. I appreciated your help, thank you.", "post_id": "cj8hkl", "comment_id": "evc0wxw"}, {"question": "I had similar problems re mood and booze. I always thought it was a mood problem mostly. I'm alcohol free for 7 weeks, and while i still struggle with my mood I am in a much better position to stay in control of things that help me through. Having alcohol out of the picture really helps me to see whats what. Good luck. ", "comment": "I'm a bit of a mess. I'm looking for advice. I think I may need help.\n\nI'm at a (stuck in a?) stage of recovery where I usually don't drink or crave alcohol. (Yay.) I would like to abstain entirely. I keep getting caught (every few weeks over the last year or so) in social situations where its easier (in the moment at least) to just have a drink and fit in rather than talk about it. (Yeah - I need a new social life. Easier said than done.)\n\nI've recovered to this point from a time a few years ago when I was having 10-15 drinks every day. My tolerance is now (thankfully) quite low and when I have a drink or two I really feel it.\n\nI know this is a dangerous place. I've read Allan Carr and Annie Grace and The Big Book and I know I'm not special. I know I need to be stronger. I know that these few otherwise uneventful occasions with these few drinks are no proof that I can handle alcohol.\n\nIn my most recent lapse, someone I am fond of bought me a drink. I just couldn't say \"no\". The evening unfolded and by the end my tally was 1 Bud Light and 3-4 ounces of rum.\n\nNothing especially bad happened. I (predictably) slept poorly. I've had a couple of good nights sleep since. It seems to have wrecked my week since then. This is my third consecutive day of low mood and poor motivation.\n\n**Is it possible that 3 drinks are still messing with me emotionally 3 days later?**\n\nIf so it's really illustrating my need for sobriety. If not, then I suspect I have further underlying mental illness or life issues to deal with.\n\nI don't know if I'm bummed out as a natural outcome of being a recovering alcoholic, because of further underlying mental illness, just due to my general life situation, or what combination of \"all of the above\".\n\nMy employer offers and EAP program and I think I probably need to go (back) to it. In the meantime, thanks for any thoughts or perspective. I'm sure some of you have been through comparable experiences.\n\nIWNDWYT\n\nEdited to add - My flair is not accurate. I don't whether to have it reset or just removed. I'm not there yet. \n", "post_id": "8rdtyw", "comment_id": "e0qnluu"}, {"question": "IMO, from a client perspective, you should focus LESS on finding the specific modality that is right for you-- that's not really your job!-- and MORE on finding a therapist you like, trust, and feel like has a good plan for how to move you forward. That's actually one of the best predictors of good outcomes for therapy, especially for issues like depression. \n\nI know that in some ways, that's harder than just finding the right three letter acronym off of a Psychology Today profile... but it's also something where you can trust yourself and your feelings on it, even though you have no expertise in therapy.", "comment": "I've been thinking about going back to therapy for a few months now. And maybe a week or two ago I decided to do it. I've been to therapy once before and I didn't notice any changes for good. The sessions were mostly awkward and uncomfortable for me. I know it's normal, but it'd been to the point of me not wanting to be there for another minute. So now I feel very anxious about picking someone that will indeed help me. \n\nI've been browsing for therapists for a few days now and also talked to my friends and one of them told me that there are different approaches in therapy. So I did some reading, but sadly I still don't quite understand them. The approach of my previous therapist was integral, so I don't know which one they chose for me. \n\nI would be very grateful if you could briefly explain these approaches and maybe advise me on which one to pick.\n\nSo a bit about me (you have to base it on something right):\n\nI've been having quite a lot of different issues. I had depression for a few years now. I also have some problems with relationships in my family. And I also have a chronic disease that makes me incapable of doing quite a lot of stuff, because of the constant pain. Last year I started college, but I lost all my motivation and basically am doing nothing. Also, I grew up in an extremely religious family and although I'm an atheist I now have problems with engaging in sexual behaviors. And to top it all off of course a lot of insecurities. So as you see I have a lot to work through. Oh, and I remember almost nothing from my childhood and I don't think that I could change it.\n\nPS: Sorry if there are any mistakes. English isn't my native language. But feel free to correct me, I'm trying to be better at it :)", "post_id": "glhet8", "comment_id": "fqxpzs2"}, {"question": "If you're in a situation where someone is being belligerent, leave. If someone is yelling insults, walk away. If someone shoves you, walk away. You don't need to prove anything--you need to avoid a situation where you or someone else gets hurt. Just walk away.\nAlso, consider xposting to /r/martialarts", "comment": "I'm a reasonably big guy (6', 185 pounds) in my 30s, I'm in shape, and I'm an amateur boxer.  I can handle myself in a fight, but am somewhat awkward socially.  I've found myself in a few situations over the years where someone is getting physical with me who is a woman or a teenager.  I have no idea how to handle it.  I can't hit them back or restrain them for fear of hurting them and getting into social and legal trouble.  If I just let it go on I risk looking like a pussy or getting hurt.  \n\nHere are some examples that have actually happened to me.  I'd love ideas on how I should have handled them.\n\n* 14 year old (ish) boy is in line behind me at the movie theater with a group of friends.  He's skinny and quite a bit smaller than me.  He's making fun of me and repeatedly pretending to punch me in the back of the head (without making contact.)  I ignore it and pretend I don't notice since he's not actually hitting me.  Eventually he starts slapping and pushing the back of my head and then looking the other way and acting innocent when I turn around while his friends laugh.  After a few rounds of this I turn around and tell him \"I know it's you.  Dont' touch me again.\"  He gets belligerent and starts saying it's not him, he'll beat my ass if I keep bothering him, etc etc.\"  Now I'm facing off with a 14 year old kid who's half my size.  I can't actually hit him.  Any threats are just hollow and he knows it.  Seems like a no-win situation for me.  WTF should I have done?\n\n* Drunk woman (my age) at a party is mad at me.  She's my friend's ex and we don't get along.  She goes from yelling to throwing her mostly full beer can at my face, to charging me with her fists swinging.  I circle out of her way and she falls (I didn't touch her), resulting in several white knights in the area to start yelling that I pushed her down.  Then she gets up and comes at me with everything she's got.  I basically just cover up and let her do her thing, receiving several bruises and scratches in the process.  She tires out in 30 seconds or so, spits on me, calls me a bitch, and storms off.  Now half of the onlookers are mad at me for \"making her fall\" and the other half are laughing at me for getting \"beat up by a girl.\"  I hate this outcome but honestly can't think of any better way to have handled it.\n\n* Teenagers yelling and talking shit as I walk by them on the street with my girlfriend.  Fight them and go to jail, yell back even though I can't back it up with action, or just ignore it and make my girlfriend think I don't care enough to object to the horrible things they're saying to her?  (She tells me she doesn't care, but it still feels wrong to just let it go...)", "post_id": "12thav", "comment_id": "c6y56bh"}, {"question": "A mannequin might be overkill. Why not just practice making expressions in the mirror?\n\nOr, if you want to practice recognizing expressions/postures, watch a movie/tv show and see what the actors are doing?\n\nThis [body language guide](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/body-language) also gives a few good tips for practicing that don't require the purchase of a mannequin :)", "comment": "Hello fellow 2013-ers! I am looking for a life-sized mannequin to practice body language techniques with. Things like moving fingers and rotating shoulders would be helpful, but at the very least, I'd like it if they were slightly alterable. Amazon has some fiberglass ones but they aren't very movable and the shipping over there is a bitch. Can you think of some stores where I can find one?", "post_id": "15ur86", "comment_id": "c7q5elp"}, {"question": "It's hard not to separate it from a personal attack, but it's not a personal attack. It's usually a stranger on the internet who has a different opinion, or is an asshole. Neither of which make you awful or bad or less than. Never forget that! ", "comment": "I don't understand people's mass downvotes everywhere else on Reddit. Nearly every time I post anywhere but here or r/pocketcamp, I end up getting downvotes (it's not like I was being rude or mean; I was \"joining the conversation\" or so I thought) and end up deleting it. \n\nAre people just big assholes downvoting for no reason? Like, how is that welcoming to other communities? (Especially the vegan community; why the mass downvotes for seeking clarification on something?) You're pushing people away from the trolley they seek. \n\nOr maybe it's a conspiracy? Trolls downvoting en mass to silence the sensitive. (That's literally what's happening in some conspiracy/Truther communities; the trolls taking over *to* silence the truth.)\n\nSorry for venting. Irl and online I don't often say much, because a lot of times when I open my mouth (or type) I end up being reminded \"Oh. Right. This is why I'm striving to not talk to anyone but my 4 year old.\" Tbh I'm even hesitant to hit Post because some mischievous imps may Downvote this just to fuck with me some more. It's fine. I'll say it's fine. I already want to go to sleep and never wake up. I hang on, though, for the only person who will miss me.", "post_id": "9rktlx", "comment_id": "e8hoodf"}, {"question": "Avoidance is not a way to cope at all. Individually, coping skills vary. Basically- you need to find what works for you. This can include journaling, physical activity, talking to someone, practice being assertive and getting your needs met, breathing or muscle relaxation techniques, etc. it all depends on who you are and what you're dealing with.\n\nIf your therapist is unable or unwilling to help you cope, then get a new one.", "comment": "My therapist says I need to learn how to deal with stress, fears, doubts, and pretty much anything negative that comes across... but she hasn't been very eager to tell me how. I draw a blank trying to think of ways to cope that aren't distraction. What do others do?", "post_id": "wk4on", "comment_id": "c5e5kmf"}, {"question": "Stop being so rude to him and just let him leave without starting an argument.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, almost 2 years. He is really into the edm music I myself are not that big of a fan. We have been to a few music festivals together, we had fun. But I'm a few weeks he is leaving out of state for the Arizona global music festival. He will be leaving early Saturday morning and coming back Sunday night.  He is going out there for a night with his cousins. I can't help but feel mad that he is leaving. I don't even know why I feel mad I trust him. I trust that he isn't going to do something to jeopardize our relationship. \n\nI have just been a complete bitch to him since he told me he was going to leave. Can someone just give me some advice to stop being so rude to him and just let him leave without starting a argument. ", "post_id": "5bnhh0", "comment_id": "d9pso25"}, {"question": "i think you're right in your summation. who knows what's happening in his head;  but she's very close to not containing her 'crush', and it could backfire for everyone", "comment": "Throwaway & fake names.\n\nSo my wife Aoife (30F) and I (30M) had dated for three years and have been married for three. Aoife has endometriosis so she struggles with a lot of female issues that I can't entirely understand, but I see her pain and struggles. It's been hard for her to find an gynecologist that she clicks with, especially since her pain was dismissed by doctors in the beginning and shes a bit jaded. \n\nFast forward to now and shes found a GYN that she likes, Dr. B. But I'm wondering if she likes him *too* much. Shes always talking about how great Dr. B is, how smart Dr. B is, how much Dr. B cares about her. These are all great things! But after awhile it started to feel like a bit much?\n\nAoife took me by surprise when she brought home a pair of latex gloves with her other groceries & cleaning supplies last week. I asked what they were for and she said she'd tell me later. I figured she was going to say for me to use for cleaning something or her. That night we started to get frisky and she told me to put on the gloves. I was confused, but was going with the flow because I was very horny. She laid down on the bed with her feet flat and legs spread. She told me to put on the glove and insert my fingers slowly. I did so and she loved it...*alot*. She then instructed me to go harder and harder. She told me to smack her ass, gag her, etc. This is not usually Aoife's style. I was really taken aback by it. \n\nI feel dumb, but it wasn't until the next morning that I connected that she was lying in the exam position and that the gloves were like a doctor. I sat her down that night and asked if she realized that and she said no, she wasn't sure why she was fantasizing about the gloves, maybe it was a leather/latex thing some people are into. I asked if she was fantasizing about her doctor and she said no.\n\nI've never caught my wife lying but this seems weird. Is it wrong for me to ask her to keep looking for doctors because of these circumstances? \n\nTL;DR: i think my wife is sexual fantasizing about her GYN and using me to play it out. ", "post_id": "5t9na3", "comment_id": "ddl6xvw"}, {"question": "He hits and threatens you and doesn\u2019t actually want to do the work of parenting. \n\nDo you want someone to hit and threaten you in front of your daughter?  Do you want someone in her life who may hit and threaten her?\n\nYes, work as hard as possible to get full custody. Post in r/legaladvice. ", "comment": "Me(17) and my ex(18) had a daughter last year. We were together for 2 years. During that time I was being mentally abused to the point where I was seriously depressed. I got better along the way. Last week he dumped me (he's done this many of times before) he told me he wanted a break and that he still loves me. Recently I have been gaining friends and trying to forget about him. He's become very abusive to the point where he came to my house wanting to beat up my guy friend. In the past he did hit me once but i brushed that off. He then gets his ex to message me spiteful things \"you shouldn't have a daughter\" \"your a f**** joke\" ECT..  I'm very scared that he may take my daughter from me as we both have equal custody. He is not a very good dad honestly. He dosnt buy her food, have her over night, has her less than an hour, dosnt buy her toys clothes. He puts plans on top of our daughter so he can go meet his \"friends\". So my question is.. is it wrong to fight for full custody? I would never ever stop my daughter from seeing her dad but at this point abusing me and giving out my number and being disrespectful to me.. I'm very scared for my daughter.", "post_id": "72yy3r", "comment_id": "dnmbaoo"}, {"question": "If you're not in love by now, it's friendship", "comment": "Hi all,\nI came from 4 year of no relationships or every form of sex with anyone because of my insecurities and closeness in myself. With time I started to feel nothing for anyone in loving/attraction terms, and my insecurities in general grew up exponentially to the point that I could no more understand myself in almost any way. I have lots of problem of commitment even with my passions.\n\nThen I met this girl during the last ear. She lives far from my place (almost 6 hours of travel). I didn't liked her, she really wasn't my type of girl I usually were attracted to: she was pretty chubby, talked with a strange accent and overall I didn't really liked her.\nWe talked just for few minutes, maybe one hour in total in two days, nothing more. She was very nice and I felt similar to her for some reason, I thought she was cute and a sad person inside, for some reason again I felt like I really wanted to help her out of her difficult work situation and encourage her to follow her dreams.\n\nBut nothing more, I felt just that, there weren't attraction, no love at first sight, no butterflies in my stomach, I just felt closeness and friendship feelings.\n\nShe came home and then she started chatting with me. She wrote me everyday and the conversation basically never stopped. I understood she felt something for me and I was about to tell her not to waste time, because we could be good friends but nothing more.\n\nThen maybe I hesitated too much, I don't know, but we really had a great complicity, we were really similar in sense of humor (very rare to me to find a girl with my nosense humor), we were really enjoying our time chatting. I started to feel something for her, while I was forgetting her physical image. And one day I called her and told her my feelings, which she told they were the same towards me.\n\nThe thing gone on for some months, and then I went host to her home. I was really confused and torn about my feelings and needs: I knew I didn't like her as a girl, but I really felt closeness to her as a person. We had sex, the atmosphere was so strange, and romantic, and loving. But I was feeling so guilty for having sex with her knowing that I wouldn't want to bring on the relationship that I didn't enjoy a single second of it.\n\nI didn't want to let her feel used by me, so I didn't say anything and we acted like a couple in those days and then we decided to stay together. After little time I told her of my insecurities about the relationship (not about her) and that I wanted to take a break. But I still felt torned and couldn't decide myself, so at the end we met, talked, and I was so confused I couldn't still decide, and she was so loving, caring and comprehensive that I felt like I really really was taking a stupid decision to leave her. Goddamn, she was fantastic! Than while headed to home, she called me and we talked really happily and decided to met again in the next weekend.\n\nWe met, and we got together again. Those days we were very happy and both of us had the greatest love nights of our lifes (she ad lots more sex experiences than me. I just had one girlfriend before and no \"adventures\").\n\nThe time passed and we are together from five months now, but yet I still can't decide what the fuck am I feeling. She is more and more in love, and I too feel a lot of attachment, but at the same time I'm insecure, I'm scared to think I could pass all my life only with her, and I know that even if now I think (not joking or lying to myself) she is beautiful and a really really special person, I feel like there are girls more attractive than her.\n\nBut still, here is the thing: I feel something deep for her, we hug and kiss a lot, I like to talk to her, I like to go out and see places with her, I like to do everything with her even just a walk or go to the cinema is pretty special, something that is not the same with any of my friends. And even if I know she is not the classic hot girl out there, I think she is beautiful, special and sweet. And again, sex with her is awesome.\n\nBut again, I'm not secure I'm ready to bring on this relationship, I don't know if I just can't let myself commit to the relationship or if I just see her as a friend, and in the meantime she is crazy in love with me and I feel shame and guilt for all my thoughts and insecurities. I don't fucking want to hurt her, I don't fucking know if I love her and if I will ever love another girl like her, and I don't know what to do.\n\nHelp.\n\n-----------------\n\ntl;dr:\n  - general fear of commitment (even for my passions like music etc);\n  - met a girl I didn't like aesthetically;\n  - had sex, began relationship;\n  - feel strong feelings, really enjoy time together, but not sure if it is love or friendship.", "post_id": "6v52o3", "comment_id": "dlxnoee"}, {"question": "give her space and call in a week", "comment": "Well things escalated, just 1 week after we ended a break. She told me to never contact her again. Throwaway, but a I want to contact her, because ist worth it.  Now the question is how. She is hurt, and I dont know how to approach the situation. I could either drive to her place ( 300 miles away) or send her a letter, or a mail. I do feel I am better with words written in the usual context, but i also understand that this would be better personal. Yet on the other Hand this might feel like an intrusion into her privacy even more if I just show up at her house, or might lead to even more awkwardness. \n\nThankful for every different perspective on the subject. Questions welcome.\nThank you\n", "post_id": "67axpw", "comment_id": "dgp9bzv"}, {"question": "Have you seen someone to confirm that you have a fungal infection on the scalp?\n\n(Doctors don't usually provide official medical consultations online for free, even in countries where healthcare is free at the point of access).", "comment": "I've tried googling it but all i find are paid services, i'm pretty sure i've seen in the past sites where people are getting consulted from various doctors, but i am not sure however it those were free or not.\n\nAre there any such out there?\n\nAlso - can i use Clotrimazole on the scalp? It says that the cream is for the hands, legs, groin area, ect however it is an anti-fungal cream, so i assume that you can use it anywhere where there is skin, even the scalp, no? (Yes i have very short, close to no hair on my head ._.)", "post_id": "524f9m", "comment_id": "d7h96q6"}, {"question": "https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/back-pain/\n\nNothing rocket science but you never know...", "comment": "Posting this on behalf of my old man.\n\nAge: 45 M\n\nWeight: 160lbs.\n\nHeight: 5' 11\u201d\n\nCaucasian\n\nI had no idea this existed until recently, but my father is severely allergic to the THC in marijuana. Two years ago, he ended up in the hospital because he'd been smoking pot for a while, and it was making him severely dehydrated. So dehydrated, that if we'd waited any longer to take him to the hospital, his organs would've shut down. At the time, he was puking up blood and losing weight at an accelerated rate. \n\nI had no idea you could have such a strong reaction to marijuana, but the doctor said an allergy to THC is not uncommon. As soon as he stopped smoking, he immediately felt better afterwards. He gained all his weight back and had no more problems with staying hydrated. \n\nThe only problem is, my father has severe back and shoulder pain, which seems to be a common trend with all the guys in our family. A week ago, he went back to smoking pot again because he feels like it's the only way he can deal with so much back pain. Otherwise, he can't sleep or function normally.\n\nBut now, we're back to square one. He had to go back to the hospital this weekend because the pot was making him dehydrated and nauseas again. He's nowhere near as bad as he was last time \u2013 but again, as soon as he quit smoking pot, he started feeling better. \n\nBut I digress. Besides marijuana, what are some options for dealing with back pain? His stomach is sensitive to painkillers, so Oxycontin and ibuprofen are a big no-no. Right now, they have him on anti-nausea meds, which seem to be helping. \n\nExercising and working out have helped him, but he's a dude in his 40s who works an office job 40-to-60 hours a week. It's only a matter of time until the back pain comes back from sitting at his desk for so long.\n\nI apologize if this post is unorthodox, or if this isn't the right place for a post like this. But at this point, I'm desperate for any other options. Any advice is appreciated. Cheers!\n\ntl;dr: Father is allergic to THC, but can't deal with back pain except by smoking pot. Need some healthy alternatives for dealing with back pain.", "post_id": "f1b78y", "comment_id": "fh3vrt3"}, {"question": "Be there for your family and do it sober. In my experience nothing was better for me than being there for the people I love while we went through a loss.", "comment": "I found out my aunt has cancer in her throat and it is inoperable. After watching a patient choke and lose consciousness/almost die. She was purple and gasping like a fish out of water. I know what to expect and it freaks me out to think of my family like that.\n\n\nI bought some wine on the way home from work. I'm not sure how to handle the thought of my aunt dying like that.", "post_id": "1jeir1", "comment_id": "cbe3g5o"}, {"question": "Just know where you need to draw the line in the sand, and insist she get counseling and go to AA daily.", "comment": "This girl from college I've been dating for 6 months, she isn't supposed to drink much at all due to some health reasons.  There were a couple incidents earlier in the year - one where I took her to a date function, she got drunk and smoked and ended up throwing up on the sidewalk.  Another time I wasn't with her, but she texted me she was fine earlier in the night and then went to the hospital.  I'm a forgiving person, and I said it was ok and it happens but she needed to take care of herself, and her parents/friends said this too so she said she wasn't going to do this anymore. \n\nSo in the first week of this year, she was pretty good and wasn't going over her limits at all.  Then in the past couple of weeks she started to get more drunk when she went out to parties.  She got really drunk Friday, and I told her the next morning that I want her to be careful.  The saturday night she drank over her limits again and ended up throwing up everywhere, which I had to help her clean up.  Obviously I took care of her that night but I was very upset, and I told her this the next morning.\n\nI told her how I was mad and that I needed some space to think.  So over two days we don't really talk much, and then had a serious talk just now.  I basically said I was upset at her for not respecting her boundaries and putting herself at risk after we had talked about it so many times.  I told her it was also unfair and a burden to me to have to worry about this and pick up the pieces when it happens.  She agreed with all of this.  I was also annoyed because she said she was drinking more because she was mad I didn't pay enough attention to her (which is true, I had been acting weird to her at parties). I said that I don't want to see this happen again, and that to really trust her I need to see the change over a bit of time, not just her word that she will because obviously that didn't work before.\n\nI didn't want to break up with her over it, the didn't seem right.  But I wanted to basically set an ultimatum that if she didn't change from now on I couldn't go on with this.  Did I go too easy given all that's already happened?\n\n---\n\ntl;dr Girlfriend had another bad incident with alcohol, that I had to take care of her in, when she knows she shouldn't be drinking much at all because of health.  I said I needed space, then told her why I was upset, she agreed with all of it.  I didn't want to break up with her because of it but made it pretty clear if things kept happening I couldn't deal with it anymore.  I didn't go too easy on her did I?", "post_id": "72nybo", "comment_id": "dnk3ig4"}, {"question": "Have you tried getting a service dog?  Anxiety has unconscious symptoms that are evident to a dog before you know you are getting worked up. Dogs can be taught to notice these symptoms and let you know you need to practice your relaxation techniques.  Breathing meditation and weight lifting can really help.  Weightlifting helps you develop single pointed concentration and eventually you become strong and that helps too.", "comment": "In grade 9 I started homeschooling because the anxiety was so bad. It stops me from breathing correctly, so I have massive migraines everyday. I graduated and started working. I'm 20 now and have lost 4 jobs due to my anxiety. Last year I sold my art and did classes for people and got paid, but I need to save up so I can move out of the house and get my life started. The physical symptoms are unbearable. I don't know how to function at a 9-6 job, 5 days a week. Please give me advice. ", "post_id": "1ceygs", "comment_id": "c9fwtqf"}, {"question": "The thing is, overeating is 90% of the time an emotional coping mechanism. They might even be doing a \u201cgood\u201d thing for themselves insofar that they might not posses any other adequate mechanisms of dealing. Forcing losing weight could dysregulate them. My money is on therapy, or maybe a mindfulness course? Learning to recognize feelings, behavioural tendencies, learning to cope differently and make healthier choices. It\u2019s definitely not a process of just a couple of months.", "comment": "Hi everyone. (USA here)\n\nMy partner and I have been in a romantic relationship for a few years now. They have gained a substantial amount of weight. I did too (typical \"get comfortable in relationship\" thing), and we had a big discussion about it about 2 years ago.\n\nYou see, they have obesity in their family, and asked me about a month into dating that they never want to be like that and if they start to, that I need to tell them and ask them to stop.\n\nSo, about two years ago I realized we both had hit unhealthy weights, so we had a discussion and we both started losing weight and supporting each other. I've lost ~35 pounds and am back into a healthy weight.\n\nThey lost some weight, but have put it all back on (and thensome). We've had multiple conversations about it and I've tried almost every approach I could think of \"let's do this together, do you have friends that you could workout with at work, remember what you said about your family\" etc. I've suggested couple's therapy, individual therapy, going on walks, going on runs, not eating snacks late at night. I eventually gave them the straight up, \"look, I'm not attractive to you anymore. This shouldn't come as news - but I'm going to be straightforward about it now.\"\n\nTo be honest, I don't know what to do. There have been other issues that have stemmed from this (we haven't had sex to completion in over a year, I now sleep in another room, I hate eating with them, etc). I love this person as a friend and we are extremely compatible friends, but I no longer have any sexual attraction to them.\n\nThey tell me they are not overweight or they have been losing weight, but then when I ask about the last doctors appointment they will begrudgingly admit that their doctor said they need to lose weight. It's like they are in denial, to an extent. They have no issue pointing out other people (at a much healthier weight than they are) and saying \"they could stand to lose a few pounds.\" Maybe it's a strange body dysmorphia thing?\n\nI've tried to break up with them twice. We live together in an expensive area, so that makes it a bit difficult. We are basically just good friends and housemates at this point.\n\nI feel like this is sort of our last chance. I need to feel attracted to my partner - otherwise we are just very good friends. Our lease is up in a few months and after that I plan to move out (they are aware of this). Is there anything I can do to help the situation in the meantime? Is there anything else I can do to help support them and help them to start losing weight? I am convinced there is a mental block or issue, but I have no idea how to help them.", "post_id": "7kwnaa", "comment_id": "drhw222"}, {"question": "Thank you. ", "comment": "Like I don't get angry anymore I just don't care.\n\nBut I can feel it inside me, it's like that scene in avengers when the hulk says how he controls his anger...\"I'm always angry\"", "post_id": "8bs5qr", "comment_id": "e1x4815"}, {"question": "No idea but definitely worth talking to a professional that you trust. Not thinking it's schizophrenia either but can't exclude it either.\n\nAny trauma history? Sometimes adverse experiences can come out in weird and wonderful ways.\n\nThink this could be your way of dealing with emotions given your autistic tendencies?\n\nI don't think anyone here will give you a definitive answer but it's definitely worth exploring and you should probably tell someone about these and how they make you feel. Anyone worth their medical degree should believe you and help you understand why they are occurring and what to do about it.", "comment": "Hi all,\nI'm a 15 year old female, 16 in February. I've been suffering from something really weird, but I haven't told anyone yet because nobody believes me.\n\n**I have a medical history of depression, potential Schizophrenia, anxiety, and severe autism**\n\n4 years ago I was 'diagnosed' with Schizophrenia by a therapist, but most doctors have said this diagnosis is false. However, things in my life have been getting worse - and weirder.\nI'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm sleeping well for once, I'm interacting with kids my age, and I'm doing OK grade-wise - but something weird has been happening.\n\nMy mood shifts in the blink of an eye. I'm either perky as all hell or on the verge of suicide, and there's nothing in between. My emotions are always very intense.\n\nThen the hallucinations started...\n\nI don't have an exact time or date, but I'll see and hear things that aren't there. Some common ones:\n\nAuditory:\n\n-People whispering my name\n\n-'come here'\n\n-laughing\n\n-crashing noises\n\n-screams, but not of any words I can pick out. Just manic screaming.\n\n-'help me'\n\n\nVisual:\n\n-Every night, when getting into bed, I see an old man standing at my door. He has a long face, thin nose, and wide eyes. He's sometimes grinning, sometimes just staring. He never moves. He disappears after I close my eyes for a few seconds.\n\n-I see a young girl, maybe 16-17, standing in my mother's bathroom, every time I walk up the stairs. She's in a hospital gown and her hair covers her eyes. She disappears within seconds.\n\n-If the bathroom light isn't on, I'll see distorted people and hands clawing at the doorframes, like they're trapped and trying to get out. This lasts until I walk away or turn on the light.\n\n-I had one instance where the white line on the road's edge seemed to twist and contort randomly. (I was not the driver. I was a passenger.)\n\n\nI also have weird, reoccurring dreams in the same places I've never been, with reoccurring characters I've never seen before. None of it ever has any parallels to my real life - usually. Every time I dream, I'm in this place. The plot varies. I'm always waken up in either a good mood or terrified out of my mind. Sometimes I see these people in public but they disappear seconds later.\n\n\nMy dad has a master's in psychophysiology, and says it's just puberty, but my mother is concerned. Wait time for a doctor out here, even one out of our coverage, is 3 months to a year at best. \n\nI don't know what to do. I'm not super concerned but I hate to see my mom worrying about me, and if the doctors here think I should get it checked out I'll do my best to book an appt.\n\nI'm not going to take anything said here for gods word. I have to get actually diagnosed.", "post_id": "eh46z3", "comment_id": "fcdtkzb"}, {"question": "I can't make a diagnosis, but that does sound concerning to be for transient ischemic attack (TIA), which is a stroke that resolves before permanent damage is done. One thing that probably should be done, if it wasn't in previous imaging, is examination of his carotid arteries. And then there's a standard set of interventions to reduce stroke risk, which aren't a bad idea for anyone but are very important for someone who might be having multiple near-stroke events.", "comment": "**Background/Initial Episode**\n\nHello. My father-in-law is a white, male farmer, 45 years old, and has had four separate episodes. The first was limited to rather extreme diaphoresis and malaise, though it resolved after about an hour. He is overweight, though not obese (unsure of his BMI). He has a 20-30 pack year history of smoking, and partakes in marijuana use occasionally. His medications include(d) Phentermine (6 months, unknown specifics), Methylprednisolone (no other details), and no multivitamins/supplements. No family history of heart disease or neurological disorders, past history of lipid elevation, no chronic hypertension. This first episode occurred while they were in Jamaica, five days after which they returned to the states.\n\n​\n\n**Second Presentation: Visit to the ER (normal EKG, normal CT, normal hematology save low kidney function)**\n\nThe second (about a week after returning from their trip) occurred from 3pm through the evening while tending to his cattle. He called me with a blood pressure of 164/78, describing pins-and-needles in all four extremities and a feeling of \"being off\". Once more, the diaphoresis occurred and he began to feel confused, anxious, and quite fatigued. He arrived at the ER and was triaged as a stroke, after he began having difficulties speaking, described as babbling on and being unable to find words. An EKG, head CT, and blood panel (unsure what it included, though I assumed CBC and CMP) all came back normal, except for what was described to them as a minor decline in kidney function. He was irritable in the ER, refusing sedation and being very reluctant to have IV (dextrose?) administered. The episode was explained as dehydration worsened by his long use of the Phentermine. He was given hydroxyzine and sent home to rest, continue hydrating, and begin a ketogenic diet.\n\n​\n\n**Third Presentation; PCP visit (normal EKG, normal hematology)**\n\nThe next day, around 9am, he began to feel the same symptoms while heading to his feed lot. On his way to his PCP, his truck broke down. He called his father to pick him up and take him to the office, but he was unable to describe where he was, despite his location being somewhere he has frequented multiple times a day for over forty years. His again appeared distressed and somewhat confused, describing the same paresthesia, malaise, sweating, and anxiety. At his PCP, his BP was 120/72, an EKG returned normal, and he was sent home to rest while blood panels were confirmed. Again, I don't know what the panel entailed, but it returned normal and he was asked to call if another episode occurred. Though another full episode did not occur, when heading with his wife in the car to make sure his cattle were secured, he mentioned he was quite tired and had he drive. He immediately fell asleep.\n\n​\n\n**Today**\n\nThis morning, at 10:00am, he described the same set of symptoms and is currently headed to his PCP for examination.\n\nMore than anything, I want to see if this presentation sticks out to anyone, and most importantly where they should go. Their PCP seems to be waiting and waiting for a signs to emerge, though they don't really have the ability to set life aside while this occurs, mainly due to extreme financial pressure. I mentioned they might plan to see an endocrinologist or neurologist. His behavior is so incredibly out of character, but this has all occurred within a two-three week period. I've tried to find similar cases, and looked at reactive hypoglycemia, B12 deficiency presenting without anemia, insulinoma, other endocrine and metabolic cases, transient ischemic attacks and many others, though not having any labs or ability to examine him, plus of course not being a medical professional, has made my exercises fairly meaningless. I appreciate any help. Let me know if you have questions that I didn't answer\n\n​\n\nEdit: I realize this may not qualify as a **minor** medical issue. I don't expect a diagnosis to come out of this, nor will I assume any suggestions are definitive. Like I said, I really want to have advice for their next steps if their PCP tells them once more to just wait.\n\n​\n\nEdit 2: Forgot to note that I asked him very directly if the paresthesia was purely pins-and-needles, or if he had any numbness. He denied any numbness", "post_id": "9it3ct", "comment_id": "e6m7gra"}, {"question": "It might feel weird (or weirder), but no, I don't think so. The difficulty with beta blockers and some other antihypertensives is that if you stand up suddenly your blood pressure can take a while to catch up to gravity, which leaves you woozy and lightheaded. It's potentially but very rarely enough to cause you to pass out. A rollercoaster has all kinds of quick changes in graivty, and I don't think any area really steady enough for anyone to adjust well; skydiving actually gives you the experience of zero subjective gravity, which is the opposite of standing up suddenly.\n\nIf you're on propranolol you don't have any symptoms when standing up fast, I wouldn't have any worry. If you, you might be more likely to feel bad or even lose consciousness briefly on a rollercoaster. I think skydiving would not cause problems, but since any risk of passing out when you need to stop yourself from plummeting to your death seems like a bad risk to take I wouldn't do it if you have any lightheadedness/dizziness.", "comment": "23/male/6'1/191 pounds/white/USA/Panic Disorder/Propranolol\n\nWould it be dangerous to do either of these things while on beta blockers? I know if you stand up too fast they could cause problems with your heart if you've been sitting for too long. I guess a rollercoaster would be an amplified version of standing up too fast? and would falling (skydiving) have this same effect?\nThanks!", "post_id": "8yl4vo", "comment_id": "e2bw4hn"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong with being honest. Your goal is to just get through each 5 minutes and if you can't trust yourself 100% with the money, bring protection. Bring a family member or friend along to make sure the check gets spent. Hell, pay them to come along because we aren't here to help you save money, you're here to save yourself. I'll like that you are being honest, but also believe you need to be realistic with your preparation. Don't pick up the check until you know you can get the money to where it needs to go. Some people end up spending extra money frivolously for a few weeks or a month and that's okay because as long as your bills get paid and you have enough food, having money may be a really bad idea. Just for now. For right now do what you need to. Later on you'll be the one going with someone else to get their check but right now keep yourself safe. ", "comment": "I tried to stop 9 days ago as my badge says but I failed. Last sunday I drank the last beer and wasn't able to buy anymore alcohol because I'm broke right now, credit cards are maxed out because I spent most of my money on booze and junk food. \n\nToday is my 4th day alcohol-free and I get paid tomorrow. I'm afraid I will give in to my cravings and ruin it all because I'll have money to buy alcohol. I've been feeling happier and I don't want 20% of my paycheck to be wasted on alcohol anymore. I've been reading this sub every day for the last 4 days and it's really encouraging. Thanks for putting your heart and experiences here, I don't feel so alone anymore.", "post_id": "62iggh", "comment_id": "dfmx8n3"}, {"question": "Don't you hate it when you start a filing system only to file things away and forget where you put them so you go back to the good ol' \"putting things in piles\" method.  Which never fails!", "comment": "DYHIWY think something is not safe where it is, and you think of a very logical safe place to put it, and then you forget where it is? \n\nI backed up all my 2017 and 2018 files onto a thumb drive a few weeks ago when my hard drive started going bad, and I clearly remember thinking I needed to put it into a safe place. The logical safe place would have been in the plastic box with my computer accessories in  it, but it's not there. It's not in the second most logical place or the third. It's basically lost, so I have to go get one tomorrow so I can do it all over again before the hard drive conks out. \n\nBut that's not the worst one I've done. I once felt like my bike lock keys - both sets - were not safe where they were, so I moved them. I ended up having to have a friend grind the locks off and buy new ones so I could use my bike. ", "post_id": "7z0x25", "comment_id": "dukmvzj"}, {"question": "Where's the fear? Whats so bad about people not listening to you?\n", "comment": "Just to start, I do have diagnosed OCD.\n\nBut does this come with the package? Getting anxiety from people not letting you explain your situation on anything? And then when they still hold off you still have that urge to set things straight that brings on a bunch of anxiety.", "post_id": "580ool", "comment_id": "d8wo4cc"}, {"question": "unless you live outside the US, she is below the age of consent. and maybe where you live too.", "comment": "Yea, typing the title makes me feel weird. But everything else about her is attractive to me. She's taller than I am and I'm 20 years old and \n 5'7\". We had a great time together playing apples to apples and talking with our folks at dinner. The whole afternoon she seemed fascinated in what I had to say. She has an almost aristocratical air about her. She is studying Latin and French with English. She's from a very wealth home. I learned all this yesterday afternoon. \n\nAs the fun slowed down, I made sure to get her alone upstairs. We were watching Sherlock on a couch when I put my arm around her. I kissed her on the cheek, figuring she would know for sure my intentions. I made sure not to do more in case she felt weird... \n\nShe went downstairs suddenly. Said she \"should probably\" go do that. She had told me a little earlier she had to go to bed in 30 Minutes. It had been about 1 minute. \n\nThe next day, I was alone in the house while the family went to a tennis game. I overslept. Up all night.\n\nAm I mad that she walked away? Did she just feel uncomfortable? She leaves tomorrow. \nI am not looking at myself very fondly right now, whatever the answer is. We haven't spoken since she last night. Could use advise/encouragement. I wish she haddnt left... but maybe it was for the best in a weird way. \n\n", "post_id": "74zmal", "comment_id": "do2dd6w"}, {"question": "Everyone belongs. There are 7 billion people on the planet- each with their own personality, quirks and issues- no one is the same. Yet, they all find their own niche and part of society. You are no different.\n\nDepression has a way of clouding how we think, so that we only see the negatives. If you can, I'd suggest you seek some counseling- that way they can help you navigate your issues with you and help you be comfortable with yourself, and with society.", "comment": "I couldn't decide between /foreveralone or /depression, either way - Im so out of my skin I don't feel human. What to do when everything you could possibly try fails? I keep breaking down, ugh.", "post_id": "rsnxm", "comment_id": "c48cdnn"}, {"question": "Your aren't responsible for what you have but you are responsible for what you do with it. What will you do with this anger? Something productive?", "comment": "Everyone here reading this, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry for whoever made this happen to you, or even to whatever genetic factors may have given you this illness without trauma. I'm so sorry.\n\nI may be loaded but say it with me now: fuck who did this to us. It may now be our responsibility to deal with our feelings, but they gave these feelings to us, and I'm angry. I'm so angry.\n\nHow dare you touch a child like that? Show a child images like that? HOW DARE YOU? I'm angry. I'll die angry. Reddit tells me \"holding onto anger is unhealthy.\" Okay, well, its the only thing that keeps me alive. I'm angry, I don't deserve this, the people who created it should be punished. I will die angry, and that is rational and valid.", "post_id": "ehi1tr", "comment_id": "fcjx443"}, {"question": "It certainly can have an impact on you in a number of ways.  If you are doing a lot to help take care of the person it's always possible to develop caretaker burn out or resentment.\n\n\nWhile some of us are more empathetic than others, just about everyone has some degree.  Being around someone who has a particular mood can impact your mood.  It's called emotional contagion.  It's one of the reason why babies cry when they hear other babies crying.  \n\n\nBest thing you can do is try to spend more time around people who are generally happy and you enjoy being around.  This will help offset some of it.  If you aren't particularly close to the person you're living with, I'd suggest spending as little time in the house as possible and/or possibly finding another living situation.    ", "comment": "I\u2019ve been living with a depressed person for about a year, and I notice the environment is always a bit gray and unwelcoming. Can living with a person that has depression take a toll on somebody like me without out? What can I do to let it influence me less than it should?", "post_id": "8zck96", "comment_id": "e2hqqbk"}, {"question": "I mouth conversations to myself, sometimes along with emotional facial expressions. I've been caught a couple of times and it's sort of embarrassing, but not a huge deal. ", "comment": "I didn't notice this until someone pointed it out recently. I was playing through a fantasy scenario in my head and apparently \"making lots of strange noises\". They said I looked really angry too and kept frowning. I had no idea.\n\nNow whenever I sit down to think in front of other people I keep worrying I'll accidentally make noises", "post_id": "5qf0nx", "comment_id": "dcyr7n6"}, {"question": "Saved and saved. What a great way to put it. ", "comment": "I thought I would share a bit of what I went through early on in the process, in hopes it may help some of the other people just starting out. \n\nVery early on in my sobriety, I would tell people AND myself I don't drink. I wanted to be very clear in the wording with the word \"don't\" over \"can't\". For me, it made a huge difference. I liken it to the way I don't smoke either. It isn't that I \"can't\" smoke, because I certainly could, I just don't - for whatever reason that is. The reason I don't smoke is the same reason I don't drink. \n\nFor me, it helped me relax a bit more when I was around alcohol or around other people drinking. IF I was offered, and I was a few times, I would respond with \"No, thanks. I don't drink.\" \n\nFor me, the difference in words and mindset between \"don't\" and \"can't\" made all the difference in the world. \n\nHope this was helpful. ", "post_id": "4kzyuh", "comment_id": "d3jsjf5"}, {"question": "While I cannot speak to whether this specific supplement regimen works, I agree that stress plays a huge role in this. My cortisol was really elevated (to the point that the doctors had to screen for Cushing's) when I was (I guess) stressed. That probably made all my PCOS symptoms worse.", "comment": "This cocktail cured my PCOS, thought I'd share\n\nL-Theanine\nL-Tyrosine\nTurmeric 95% curcurmin plus black pepper extract\nn-acetyl cysteine (NAC)\nGABA (use phenibut or Picamilon instead on stressful days)\nPrenatal vitamins\n\nThe issue is not depression or anxiety, it is stress.  The weight is caused by excess cortisol.  The turmeric is an anti-inflamatory, which keeps the adrenal glands in check, the rest are amino acids that regulate stress and calm the mind.  The NAC is for the insulin resistance.  The pounds are melting away, I feel great, and I haven't even started exercise yet.", "post_id": "3qg9da", "comment_id": "cwfi3ty"}, {"question": "Have you tried medications like risperidone?", "comment": "I\u2019m autistic so I\u2019m very prone to the classic \u2018autistic meltdowns\u2019. I feel like my condition stops me from being happy and normal, instead I\u2019m viewed as very weird and obsessive.\n\nPeople in the past have scared me enough to barely talk verbally nowadays. I know if I were normal, I\u2019d be happy and successful. No one will accept that my condition has made me a failure.\n\nYet I can\u2019t talk about it to anyone about this, I just end up exploding and then overdose on my sleeping meds (nowhere near enough to kill me, but enough to knock me out pretty fucking hard).\n\nI dunno, I\u2019m a mess tbh! :)", "post_id": "dxbjnh", "comment_id": "f7qnlcj"}, {"question": "it's hard to commit to forever in your teens", "comment": "I've been in a relationship for around two years now (M19) with a (F19) It started off great, fun relationship, we're so similar it's ridiculous! I love her to pieces, but lately I've been struggling with the relationship. I seem to have been demotivated with it and I've been shamefully looking at other girls and beating myself up about it. I don't really know what's happened, could be that the honeymoon period is over? I'm not too sure myself as it's my first proper relationship. One of the main reasons I haven't said anything is because I really want it to work! At the start she was everything I've wanted in a girl, but I don't know what's happened. Any advice would be appreciated ", "post_id": "6sdrua", "comment_id": "dlbwvyx"}, {"question": "I really don't like either of these.  I agree with what you said in that if you care about someone, it's important to acknowledge that you hurt their feelings and apologize if you actually are sorry that you did it.  I also agree that you don't have to apologize for having a different opinion or even an opinion that offends someone.  \n\n\n\nWhile it may not be the speaker's intent, they both read like \"I'm sorry you're upset but I believe what I believe.\"  While this may truly be the case, if you're sincere in feeling sorry that you hurt the other person's feelings, what purpose is there in adding this?\n\n\nCouldn't you simply say \"I'm sorry that I offended you.  That wasn't my intent.\"  \n\n\nIf it wasn't so much your opinion but the delivery that caused the issue and you wish you had delivered your opinion differently, you can be specific about that.  \"When I was talking about ______ I'm guessing I came across too harsh and I'm sorry if it was too much.\"\n\n\nOr lastly,\n\n\nSome opinions really are better kept to yourself.  It doesn't make you wrong for having the opinion, but given your relationship with the person it might not have been appropriate to express it at all.  ", "comment": "To me, these are very different. To me the first one seems like a genuine apology, for hurting someone's feelings, while the second one is saying that the other person is overreacting about what person A said. However I can understand that both may be seen as offensive statements and I wanted to get reddit's opinion on the matter. I ask because I don't think people should apologize for having a certain belief, but they should apologize if they hurt someone's feelings. What do you think?", "post_id": "937fjo", "comment_id": "e3b7ijq"}, {"question": "Plenty of people go to weddings single.  If you are single, it's generally one of the best places to meet people that might be worth dating.  Generally everyone is having a good time, in a good mood, and open to meeting people they don't know.  Talk to people you see that are sitting alone, not coupled up with someone.  Ask them to dance.  You might find \"your date\" as someone else who showed up single too.    ", "comment": "My older brother is getting married next week and I'm one of the best men. As a joke and bit of banter, I asked my female friends if any of them wanted to be my plus one. They all said they were busy anyway.\n\nHow to handle situations like this?", "post_id": "8uuj73", "comment_id": "e1ie6a5"}, {"question": "What do you want to do?", "comment": "I meet this guy at the club on my birthday and we naturally just hit it off in the club, so we have been talking for a week and a half now. We already had a nice date and now we are planing to have another one tomorrow, but he hasn't hit me up all day today, and barely hit me up the day before that or text back on time. It takes almost 4 hours for a reply or long and this has been doing on right after we meet in the club. So what should I do?    ", "post_id": "6ah7tq", "comment_id": "dheixoj"}, {"question": "Disclaimer: I can only go off what you have written at face value,  and I have never met you or your partner. \n\nThere are a few things going on here .\n\n1. From what you described , your partner is being unhelpful (probably unintentionally), for example by seeing depression as something you can easily overcome. \n\n2.Unfortunately,  there is very little good information available to partners / loved ones of depressed people. The majority of info says \"get them the help they need\" but there is very little support for what to do when therapy and meds aren't helping.  Partners often have no idea what to do, even when they want to be supportive. \n\n3. It is true that only you can be responsible for your mental health . You acknowledged the problems you had when you depended on a partner for happiness .\n\nSo what is the answer ? I think a black/white view (depend on someone for happiness vs. Go at it alone) is unhelpful.  A good middle ground is taking responsibility but also being open about what helps and what doesn't . \n\nAn analogy I use a lot is cancer.\n\nIf you had cancer , what support would you want from your partner ? It would still be your responsibility to get treatment , make and keep appointments,  take meds.  Your partner hopefully would not blame you or claim to have a magic solution . Your partner would hopefully encourage and support your efforts to get better and also understand the illness .\n\nObviously,  tweak this to fit your needs and personality.  If this feels right to you,  it may be worth discussing with your partner.\n\nYout partner may also benefit from his own therapy.  Loving someone with an illness you don't understand can be really hard. He may gain useful tools for dealing with his own feelings and better understanding yours.", "comment": "I\u2019m in a year long relationship, and I\u2019ve had depression on and off before and during the relationship. When my emotions get the best of me, my partner will tell me that I need to do more to combat my depression and prevent the build up of emotions from happening. At one point, my partner told me I was being selfish for not trying hard enough to get out of depression because it was taking a toll on our relationship. My former therapist believed that I was putting too much of the responsibility on myself and that there should be efforts coming from both people in the relationship. If I was single, then she believed I needed to take the responsibility for coping with depression. My partner is technically trying to help me by telling me to go outside, but he doesn\u2019t ask to be involved. I don\u2019t typically ask him to be involved either due to his reluctance for going outside because of his schedule or allergies. On the few times I have asked, something else came up or my partner wasn\u2019t in the mood.\n\nYears before I leaned on a previous partner for my depression and put him as my source for happiness. Everything hurt so much more when we broke up, and I took it as a lesson that I shouldn\u2019t depend on other people to help me through depression or they\u2019ll leave or I\u2019ll end up even worse. I accepted my current partner\u2019s advice because it\u2019s still helpful advice to follow if I was single, but my former therapist stressed that I shouldn\u2019t have to carry all the weight by myself.\n \nIs it healthy to be in a committed relationship but feel like you have to cope with depression alone?", "post_id": "f7wlgg", "comment_id": "fika5eo"}, {"question": "I've been \"referred out\" from 3,and i left one. It's shitty", "comment": "I went to my usual bi-weekly CBT session on Friday with my usual therapist, and after talking to me for a few minutes, she said, \"maybe I'm not the person to help you anymore.\"  To be fair, she is a CBT specialist, and I should really be in DBT considering my BPD diagnosis (damn that's a lot of acronyms).  She told me to not think of this as an abandonment, and that after I get some DBT under my belt  that I could come back and see her again.  But that I needed to do at least 8 - 12 weeks of DBT first.\n\nSo while I am excited to finally be trying DBT, the therapist she referred me to is in another county and can't see me until March 8.  So I have to go 5 weeks with no therapy (just the occasional psychiatry visit to monitor my bipolar meds) and when I do get therapy, it will be a long drive both ways.\n\nI'm sad, excited, nervous, everything all at once.  Has anyone else ever been fired as a patient?", "post_id": "5r3aie", "comment_id": "dd4njce"}, {"question": "There is nothing we are going to say here that will make anything logical to the point that you won't feel bad anymore.  If we do, then we helped you do a compulsion. \n\nThe best thing you can do is accept that your body may have reacted, and that you may have found her attractive, and that despite your intention or desire to avoid being a pedophile, you may be one or become one. But, like murderers, you aren't one until you take a distinctive act, which you have not done. Give yourself the permission to have thoughts like everyone else, then get on with your life. ", "comment": "So. I saw some picture of a girl on Facebook that was linked by someone else. It was an old picture. My initial reaction was that shes pretty, although I wasnt sure of her age. Could have been 17, 18, 16...sometimes its hard to tell.\n\nAnyway, that girl is now like 21 and the picture is from five years ago, meaning shewas 15-16....now I am terrified that I had a genuine reaction to that picture and theres something wrong with me. Things I do now are contaminated by the possibility...like if I write an email it is contaminated...", "post_id": "6qncpz", "comment_id": "dkys339"}, {"question": "Do other people agree or do they not smell it?", "comment": "Female / 28 / 175 / 5'1 \nFor the past two years now, I have had a problem of body odor. Not the normal type of BO, but body odor that smells like mold/mildew/damp laundry that has been left inside the dryer for a long time. The smell can be very strong and can fill a room, so many people of noticed the smell and complained. \nI shower three times a day, wash every inch, scrub down, wear antiperspirant in the day and Rx antiperspirant at night. \nI drink about a gallon of water a day. I am on the heavy side, but have not experienced this type of smell before. When I smell my clothes or ask my family to under the underarm area, it only smell of my antiperspirant not of the mildew smell. I have developed anxiety over body odor, so I'm wondering if the stress/anxiety has caused this smell to occur. I don't mind the sweating part, but the odor is what is bad. When I\"m at home, the smell does not come. \nI am pre-diabetic, but wondering if anything more serious is happening that I need to look into. ", "post_id": "6sbuoi", "comment_id": "dlbliuc"}, {"question": "She\u2019s gonna be across the pond for two years, so if you don\u2019t have strong \u201cwe must be in a romantic relationship\u201d feelings, best not to.\n\nNo reason not to go visit her, though. ", "comment": "So I've known this girl for over 3 years, we were fast friends and we've been good friends for a good portion of that time. We're both in the Army and moved to different duty stations, hers is in Germany and we still talk. \n\nShe tells me she misses me and we do the cheesy heart thing and she tells me she misses me near constantly. Every few days she does this and she complains about not having anyone to do things with. My squad mates keep pressuring me to ask her to be in a romantic relationship, but I'm not sure it's a good idea. I feel like our relationship would be and is currently based on conditions. I feel like she misses me because I was always down to go on an adventure and talking to me reminds her of that, and I miss her because she was one of the few people I felt totally comfortable around because she doesn't feel the need to have pointless conversations, something I find tedious and draining. I don't know if I'm using the phrase \"conditional relationship\" right so feel free to browbeat me. \n\nWould it be conditional, or am I just being emotionally and relationship retarded, like my co-workers think? Ignoring the fact she will be across the pond for two years.", "post_id": "77ei4h", "comment_id": "dol5nbu"}, {"question": "I like A Million Little Pieces by James Frey specifically after reading The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. They are unrelated at first but The Things They Carried is the most important book written in the past 100 years (IMO) because it sets the stage for the awareness of all other subjective narrative work. \n\nJames Frey went on Oprah and was later called out for \"lying\" in his memoir. It was almost hilarious to see the general literary  and recovery community turn on him for lying about his addiction experience when isn't that exactly what addiction would have one do? I quite liked the book and having more than a little experience in addiction treatment before I read it, I didn't care if it was \"real\" or not because it had to be written like that.  The fact that the larger public loved it when they thought it was real proved why addicts feel this way. \n\nAnyway, that's my idea. Read TTTC because it's super important for understanding any memoir/novel/account/story and then read whatever after. \n\nBut seriously, read This Naked Mind or Allan Carr too.", "comment": "Here's the ones I've already read and enjoyed:\n\n\"Blackout\" by Sarah Hepola\n\n\"Girl Walks Out of a Bar\" by Lisa Smith\n\n\"Dry\" by Augusten Burroughs\n\n\"Lit\" by Mary Karr\n\n\"Drinking: A Love Story\" by Caroline Knapp\n\n\"Dying for a Drink\" by Amelia Baker\n\n\"Mrs D is Going Without\" by Lotta Dann (didn't really like this one)\n\n\"You Left Early\" by Louisa Young\n\n\"Between Breaths\" by Elizabeth Vargas\n\n\"Woman of Substances\" by Jenny Valentish\n\n\"How to Murder Your Life\" by Cat Marnell\n\n\"The Sober Diaries\" by Clare Pooley (didn't really like this one)\n\n\"Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife\" by somebody I didn't like so I threw this one away\n\n\"The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober\" by Catherine Gray\n\n\"High Sobriety\" by Jill Stark\n\nI'm not a fan of the \"how to stop drinking\" self-help genre.", "post_id": "crwvn1", "comment_id": "excqwxk"}, {"question": "It's CPTSD then. Try Pete Walker's book", "comment": "My psychologist told me \u201cbpd tends to occur when someone\u2019s needs wherent met during childhood\u201d and I\u2019ve been thinking about it a lot \nWhen I was a child and adolescent my parents rly invalidated my feelings bc \u201cI was so lucky and I should be grateful\u201d even tho I was going thru heavy emotional shit bc of bpd and my bipolar 2\nI\u2019m rly conflicted abt my parents now bc I love them but that shit was so damaging and just made me feel intensely guilty ", "post_id": "9r6uwm", "comment_id": "e8epzoj"}, {"question": "That is awesome!! Congrats to you!!!", "comment": "I never imagined myself being able to say that 3 years ago. Back then not drinking for a couple days was a huge accomplishment for me. I don't visit this sub as often anymore but I drop in from time to time to read about everyone's journey. I just wanted to stop in and thank everyone in this sub for being amazing. I never would have had the courage to stop drinking or the resolve to stay sober without you all! Thanks!", "post_id": "bjvozc", "comment_id": "emcayth"}, {"question": "This is a question that needs to be asked of the hospital. My best guess is that the shunt is a patent foramen ovale (PFO), which is an opening that should exist before you're born and close quickly at birth but doesn't always. It's usually insignificant and is sometimes picked up incidentally later in life when the heart is examined for other reasons.\n\nBut again, it's the hospital that has the information to say what this shunt is and what its significance is.", "comment": "female, 20, white, usa, I have asbergers, I take Wellbutrin, Luvox and lamotrigine \n\nI went to the hospital in december for numbness/weakness in the left side of my body. Two mri's and no stroke. Bunch of tests, no answer. I had a slipped disk in my neck but they said it was a nerve thing. I have a nerve test on the 22nd cool great right? Nerve damage from what, no idea. Oh well.\n\nSo I went to the doctors yesterday to talk about my birthcontrol\n\n\"Also at the hospital the hospital showed you have a shunt in your heart\"\n\nOf course I was like WTF\n\nShe kept telling me not to worry, its been there since I was little and may explain some symptoms. (Pain, weakness, tiredness.) \n\nShe wouldnt tell me squat besides its a little blood getting in between the chambers of my heart. \nShe said she was going to talk to the cardiologist a d see if he wanted to do anything.\n\nI go home and my parents are freaked out, usually shunts arent \"small\" etc\n\nMy mom is mostly pissed that they waited 2 months to tell me I have a heart condition. So now I have that on top of the left side nerve thing.\n\nI'm not looking to be diagnosed but I feel lost. Wtf is going on?", "post_id": "ezagnu", "comment_id": "fglysnn"}, {"question": "Addiction psychiatrist here - you shouldn't be withheld any appropriate treatment, addiction potential or not. Benzos are a bit more complicated though as they work on similar pathways in the brain as alcohol. Id be wary for you to be using clonazepam whilst recovering from alcohol dependency, but thankfully there's plenty alternative (and better) treatments out there.\n\nBenzos complicate alcohol detox, so if you are using more regularly around the time of detox, you must tell the doctor.\n\n(In the UK we typically use chlordiazepoxide for detox, which we find more reliable).", "comment": "29, Male, 5'9\", 200lbs, Caucasian in Canada.\n\nCurrently on sertraline, and very rarely clonazepam. Full fledged alcoholic, and I'd like to talk to my doctor about it. I am not addicted to anything else, I only take clonazepam during certain events, maybe once a month, if that. Successfully quit smoking 7 years ago (after smoking for 7). \n\nI'm wondering if admitting to my doctor that I'd like assistance in quitting alcohol will a) stop me from receiving clonazepam, and b) stop me from receiving potentially addictive substances in the future (T3s instead of percocet, etc.).\n\nAny insight is appreciated. Thanks.", "post_id": "511ixm", "comment_id": "d7935re"}, {"question": "Definitely bring this up with her !\n\nI can't possibly know what is happening,  but my best guess is that she is encouraging you to name/label your feelings. If you are spilling your feelings for several minutes , you are probably giving a narrative description of your feelings.  That is fine , but she may care and may be listening , but wants you to name your feelings. \n\nIn any case , please discuss this in therapy so that she better understands your needs and can discuss her methods.", "comment": "When the answer is obviously not good, after me spilling my feelings for several minutes in which it feels like she may not be paying full attention, so she resorts to this phrase often. And how do I feel about that? Like she doesn\u2019t care :/", "post_id": "ffx6oa", "comment_id": "fk1cq3y"}, {"question": "Please go see a therapist! There\u2019s tons of stuff you can do. ", "comment": "Its 4 AM as I'm writing this post. I just realised that I do this moronic thing everytime. Every time Im in bed trying to fall asleep there's these horrible thoughts about death, my mistakes and insecurities etc. that haunt me every night, so I force myself to stay up all night because If I try to fall asleep the thoughts come back. \n\nIs there anything I can do to just shut my mind off or something or at least have less negative thoughts at night? I really need to get back on a healthy sleep schedule but it's just getting worse for me. Help ;-;", "post_id": "7jfyfv", "comment_id": "dr66s7g"}, {"question": "You don't want to listen to your doctors. You also don't want advice here, and you have insulted doctors in general and posters here specifically for trying. I think there's nothing further to be said.", "comment": "Age 36, Height 5'10, Weight 185lbs., race white, duration 13 years, no other medical issues, non-smoker. I take turmeric and fish oil daily, which have a significant positive impact on the pain level, and when these aren't enough, I take 220mg naproxen as needed.\n\nI have unmistakable symptoms of, not rheumatoid, but DEGENERATIVE arthritis in all of my synovial joints (feet, ankles, knees, hips, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, sternal region, and one of my SI joints). The symptoms are strictly mechanical: pain with physical stress, stiffness, and crepitus. I do not have the systemic symptoms associated with RA. This came on 13 years ago and has been slowly worsening over time. Although the pain in any one joint is no more than 2-3 on a 10 scale, having that pain everywhere is nothing short of miserable. The limitations it imposes have forced me to restrict my lifestyle and employment in ways that make me very unhappy. It pervades and controls everything I do. I am aware of it at all times, and my life revolves around managing it.\n\nI already know that under the current standard of care, there is nothing medicine can do to meaningfully treat my condition. What I need is to get it documented for FMLA purposes. It has taken a turn for the worse this year, and while I have yet to miss a day of work because of it, there have been a few days when I\u2019ve had serious trouble fighting through the pain. I also need a doctor\u2019s approval to violate dress code (for some reason, my joints seem to hurt less when not covered by clothing, and I would benefit from being able to wear shorts at work).\n\nTo date, since 2006, I have seen 19 doctors in specialties including primary care, podiatry, orthopedics, neurosurgery, PM&R, and rheumatology. Still not so much as a diagnosis. Instead of helping me, they have trivialized my complaints and dismissed me as a hypochondriac.\n\nThere are two factors complicating my situation:\n\nFirst, I have the OA independently in many joints at a young age (36), giving the situation the superficial appearance of being the systemic rather than degenerative type of arthritis. As a result, my interactions with medical professionals always follow the same pattern: looking at the superficialities, the primary care doctor always wants to refer me to a rheumatologist, who then wants to order the same worthless blood panel that always comes back normal. When the rheumatologist finds nothing systemically wrong, he dismisses me, often suggesting some form of psychiatric treatment, which is deeply insulting.\n\nSecond, the degree of cartilage loss is still so mild that most joints still appear normal on standard radiological studies like x-ray and MRI, which are not sensitive enough to detect OA until significant joint damage has occurred. In 2014, I asked the rheumatologist I saw to order a bone scan rather than more blood work. The radiologist report stated that I have \u201cmild radiotracer uptake in the knees, hips, feet, ankles, shoulders, acromioclavicular joints, elbows, wrists, hands, and sternomanubrial joints, is likely degenerative.\u201d The indifferent rheumatologist still dismissed me as being \u201cin remarkable health.\u201d This scan is now five years old and my condition has deteriorated significantly since.\n\nDue to the recent worsening, after five years of avoiding doctors and l, I just made another attempt at getting my condition documented for FMLA. Like every one before him, the PCP referred me to a rheumatologist, and ordered MRIs of three of the more painful areas: my neck, L shoulder, and sternal region. The neck MRI showed mild loss of disc height at two levels and mild degenerative changes in the facets at three levels. The shoulder MRI showed mild degenerative changes in the AC joint only, but not shoulder. The sternum MRI appeared normal, even though it isn\u2019t.\n\nThe rheumatologist wanted to order more blood work and I refused. He said that he was unsure whether the imaging I was enough to justify FMLA intermittent leave, but he would try. He wrote a letter to my employer that he does not believe my condition is serious enough to justify any kind of special leave. I saw another PCP a few weeks later; he tried to me to a rheumatologist, and after I said I will never see another one again, he reviewed the scans himself and said he didn\u2019t think FMLA documentation is warranted.\n\nWhat is it going to take to get acknowledgment from the medical community that there is something serious going on?", "post_id": "cs4lwy", "comment_id": "exdp1lu"}, {"question": "It\u2019s a spectrum where you can have traits of both of you\u2019re more towards the middle. People on the far ends will exhibit more stereotypical introvert/extrovert tendencies.", "comment": "I enjoy being the centre of attention, but seldom am, because i either don't want to talk to people, or can't for some reason (unassertive, etc.) However, i also have a vision of being well liked, outgoing, etc and sometimes behave like this if i can flip a switch in my head. Also, i am not very excited to go out, but when i do i have fun most of the time and don't feel \"drained\" like an introvert would. I also have no problem spending days alone. What am i supposed to make of this? Which one am i, and if it's just shyness or lack of esteem, how do i fix it when i can't really build connections with people?", "post_id": "eo4z8l", "comment_id": "fe9ujp8"}, {"question": "For me it took ten steps.", "comment": "I have made it 148 days today.  I know I am better off right now, but I want a drink.  I know I should not have one and I have not.  I think about having one all the time.  I miss a good craft beer and I miss Gin.  How do you ever get to where you don't miss the booze?\n\nEdit: spelling.", "post_id": "1kaymr", "comment_id": "cbn5a43"}, {"question": "His \"admitted jealousy\" is a big problem, his problem with his fear and his insecurity. It's not an excuse for gross, inappropriate and scary behavior. \n\nThis could easily cause problems in your career if he harasses or questions coworkers, clients or others on your whereabouts and activities.\n\nIt could easily escalate into further encroachment on your safety, privacy and autonomy.\n\nIf he didn't think you're trustworthy, why did he marry you?\n\nEdit: also, your posts on consecutive days identifying this guy as your fianc\u00e9 and your husband is weird enough, but please extricate yourself from this situation. Posting about it is not the same as helping yourself. ", "comment": "My new husband is Admittedly jealous. So I have agreed to share my location on my iPhone.  \n\nHe has gone over the edge with it.  And today he was hanging out at my work conference hotel while I work and he was asking where I was?  I was working And he said no. He said that he was in hotel and my location was showing up elsewhere at bar next door. So he went there and couldn't  find me. \n\nThat's because I was not there!  He said that he thinks I'm lying and had me go up to the bar to see if they knew me.  \n\nOf course they didn't. Cause I was not there!  \n\nDoes any other normal couple do this ?", "post_id": "70t5cg", "comment_id": "dn5r1fk"}, {"question": "This fear of reporting you have is the reason we have strong confidentiality laws in the Netherlands. Every person who avoids help because of this fear is one too many in my opinion. \n\nOf course you can also have other reasons for not wanting or needing help.", "comment": "I've had them for a long time, since late teens at least. Never really accepted it until recently. I have never and would never abuse a child. I realize how damaging that can be and the thought of acting on my fantasies is morally reprehensible. I cannot stress enough, I would never hurt a child. But I do have the fantasies. I also consume fictional works (shota and loli stuff). It's not illegal nor do I think it's morally wrong. I don't feel like the fantasies themselves damage my life, but seeing people's reaction does hurt me. No one in my life knows and I worry about what they would do if they found out.\n\nNow that I've accepted I'm a MAP (minor attracted person), it's hard not to let comments affect me. Everyone says people like me should get help. But I don't dislike my sexuality, nor does it hurt anyone. Looking it up online, treatments seem shoddy and difficult. Is it really even worth it? Plus I've heard some people say that therapists are mandated to report MAPs to the police. I haven't done anything illegal but I don't want the police to investigate me or anything. Is it worth getting help? What would they even involve?", "post_id": "c5d63j", "comment_id": "es1beq7"}, {"question": "Perhaps she meant splitting", "comment": "I was told by a nurse once that I should probably not see my ex because she feared I was \"stemming\" (it was a word that sounded like that), like she wanted me to have more time away from him to kinda reestablish my boundaries and sense of self was what I got from her context. Like getting more distance and time from him would help me become grounded and not get sucked into something.", "post_id": "2v3z14", "comment_id": "coec0e0"}, {"question": "Do you have a counselor, sponsor, friend, neighbor, higher power you can call?\n\nHer behavior is not a good reason to use. \n\nThe fuck-its are not a good reason to use. \n\nYou can feel this way and still make good choices. ", "comment": "Length of relationship  (2 1/2 years.). She was with me through forest fire, house foreclosure, rehab,\nand when I almost died to frostbite. I go on house arrest and she moves in together then a month ago said things aren't working from partly me being jealous/smothering her as I could leave home and wanted to be around her all the time.\n\nSo she leaves about 3 weeks ago, and says she's going to focus on herself and not looking for anyone else. I see her add this dude who's single on fb who since now has started dating and already hooked up with. I blocked her on Facebook. I don't know how to get over her or stop ghosting her Facebook from a friends account and see her purposely posting stuff about \"Song reminds me of special someone\" etc... and I'm losing the battle, especially being on house arrest with no one around. My biggest fear is I'm in debt a lot (50grand) from my addiction but I still kept my full time job. I don't know how to move on and it scares me and first time in my life I've had visuals of just ending it...whether be under a heavy hauler tire so my dad and family get work insurance money and will be finance free.\n\nLike it just breaks my heart seeing her find a \"special someone\" in 5 days of knowing the person only a couple weeks after she left our 2 1/2 year relationship. I blocked her and id creep buddies account and seen a video of them together and it tore me apart even harder...Just wish I wouldnt care or love her so much... I did block buddy and hope time will fix this...\n\nI sincerely appreciate your time for those that read this, I just needed to vent and  I have no one I trust in real life and don't want to be judged.\n\n~Frostbite.", "post_id": "69n7qt", "comment_id": "dh7vkc5"}, {"question": "I'd say you're fairly normal - but taking illicit substances clearly messes with your brain, and would very likely trigger a severe and enduring mental disorder if you're not careful.", "comment": "Hi I'm George I'm 16 and I've been struggling for a while now and I don't know what's happening to me and I don't know when it started \n\nI used to smoke a fair bit of weed and it was alright for a year or so and then slowly I started getting more anxious when I was high. For example I started losing the ability to keep eye contact with people and to concentrate on words and I started to develop a hate of being touched Like if someone sat next to me I'd be trying so hard to make sure my legs don't touch there's and I'd end up having a really stressful time in social situations and slowly all of that came in to play in my sober life and it's horrible I find it so hard to cope and now when I'm with friends sober or not I struggle to speak to them fluently \n\nAnd a couple months ago I took two ecstasy pills and I came down rather psychotic from them and spent the next day in hospital because I was so traumatised by the night I've done E many times but this one time I felt like I was being tested by all my friends and my community and I felt like everyone was trying to stop me from doing drugs or something and they were all helping me like in the hospital I felt like the nurses were fucking with me like messing with my head on purpose and I'd be watching TV and I'd feel like the commentary would be directed at me it was quite weird I had these mild symptoms for a week and every now and again they'd pop up and I'd question myself if I'm being fucked with on purpose or if it's just a joke \n\nI've quit drugs for a couple of months now after that traumatic experience and I feel like I've gone completely mental though for the past 6 months I've been googling all these mental disorders and I feel like I relate to a lot of them or i don't know If I'm over thinking it and I'm actually planting them in my head because I believe I have them I don't know. I know have anxiety for sure though but it's gotta be more than that Coz my head feels really fucked up. I notice that listening to music around people triggers me into a state where I feel the lyrics have meaning and it impacts my thinking for example say if a love song starts playing on the radio at work when I'm around my colleagues I can't talk to anyone because I feel like theyll think I'm gay if I talk to them while the loves songs playing and I don't want anyone to think I'm gay because I'm not and people have thought I was gay in the past because when someone insulted me I'd take it quite seriously and act angrily but really I'm just sensitive and easily pissed off \n\nBut anyways guys I'd really appreciate it if you help me out and can you be ocd about failing because I'm really critical of myself in everything I do if it's talking, singing, sport, work if a fuck up I tend to be pretty harsh on myself and I feel like I've disappointed other people as well as myself and it makes me quite upset all the time like I'm a person that just wants to be perfect for everyone in my life and I feel like I'm a bit of an attention seeker too as I've become quote lonely when all these mental illnesses came a long but again guys help me out please! \n\n\n", "post_id": "6og6la", "comment_id": "dkhjkjl"}, {"question": "Him lying and keeping secrets is what will cause him to relapse. If you are going to continue to worry about whether you can trust him and whether he is being honest with you, then that will take away from your serenity, which makes your sobriety more challenging as well in my opinion. Of course you will worry about him relapsing because you care for him, but being in recovery yourself, it would seem that the most important question and consideration is how this all will affect your sobriety. It\u2019s never easy to decide these things when you care for someone. I fee for you. Hope things work out well for you!!", "comment": "My boyfriend (28) is an addict/alcoholic in recovery, doing AA and NA. He had three relapses, went to rehab four times, now he\u2019s been sober for two years, goes to meetings weekly, and is kind of working on the 12 steps. \n\nI\u2019m (34) also an addict, but I\u2019ve been clean for 5 years. I was going to the meetings with him, but am not in the program (language barrier, fear of public speaking, and so on). I just wanted to be a supportive girlfriend that I thought he deserved. \n\nWe\u2019ve been together for nine months and things have been ok. But I unlocked his phone yesterday and discovered he\u2019s on two dating sites, one for straight dates, one for gay dates. He has two conversations with women and around 5 with men as is actively trying to meet up with them all.\n\nI confront him. Say I want to break up. We talk for more than 8 hours trying to understand where to go next. He says he went on the app because he was bored one night. That he didn\u2019t actually meet anyone. That he didn\u2019t feel good about doing that and decided to stop. He tells me that me trying to break up with him shows him how he cannot be without me. He cries. I cry, as well. He says he's sorry. Asks for forgiveness a million times. Says things will be different.\n\nThere are a million red flags about this relationship being very problematic in the long run, but still, I want to try. \n\n**I think the main advice I\u2019m looking for relates to the risks of relapsing.** \n\nI\u2019m scared if we break up, he\u2019ll relapse. Or I will. And I truly don\u2019t want that. I see he has made so many improvements with his life and I trust he can be even better in the future. I don't want to be the person who stops him from doing that, or the one that makes him pick up again because he got so sad and frustrated. But at the same time, I\u2019m scared I\u2019m being played by someone who will keep on doing the same thing for as long as I allow it to happen :(", "post_id": "bx7icx", "comment_id": "eq4bbgk"}, {"question": "Considering talking to a therapist.  It sounds like you're depressed and it's going to take changing around a lot of things to break you out of it.  One of the things I've learned from personal and professional experience is that when you're in the throws of depression, you yourself are usually not the best judge of your life in the moment.  It can really help to have an objective take, someone who doesn't know you or anyone you know, and who's sole purpose is to help you.  Let me know if you have any questions on how to get connected (If you're in the U.S.)", "comment": "I feel like my resolve to stay alive is slipping. I've been in a pretty dark state of mind the past couple of weeks and I feel numb and exhausted   my life is not complicated or hard it seems rather simple but I can't bare it. I feel weak and inferior in every aspect of my life. I know none of you can solve my problems that I only can I just want to. The problem is I don't want to. I want to slip away into nothingness. I am white tall male attorney living in the USA why the fuck do I feel like this? How do not feel like this. I said before I don't want to solve my problems it's more that I do but I have this dark mindset that I know if I try that I will fail. I can't tell if I'm whining or sulking and just need to shut the fuck up. I feel very alone. ", "post_id": "6stxbs", "comment_id": "dlfhdx2"}, {"question": "It would be helpful to elaborate more on the feedback you received and summaries of what you said that prompted it, as well as any other related issues you have noted.", "comment": " I  recently made a post on another subreddit (now deleted) where multiple  people said I was being disingenuous, rude or unable to receive  criticism. I asked these people for examples but they didn't provide  any. Even though I do not at all see what I did wrong after rereading my  comments I believe they might be right, or at least have a point. And  if they aren't right that there is a better way I can behave/write going  forward.\n\nI genuinely want to improve as a  person (and might have the social skills of a snail). Is this the right  subreddit to ask for the opinions of people with knowledge about human  behavior or psychology or something of the sort? And if this is the  wrong place, do you know a good subreddit for what I am asking about?", "post_id": "bxi1ax", "comment_id": "eq8zskm"}, {"question": "Am I correct when assuming you have no history of heart disease and in your direct family there have been no young (<50) serious cardiac issues? No medication? No drugs involved?\n\nPanic attacks are more common then new heart rythm problems at your age, and what you describe could be a panic attack.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "fhavrv", "comment_id": "fka39l6"}, {"question": "I'm starting metformin, too, so I don't have any tips, but just know that you're not alone here! ", "comment": "Hi All, \n\nI was diagnosed with PCOS about a year ago when I was 27, but I've probably had it much longer. I also have an NOS eating disorder that I am in therapy for. I've gone from 200 to 170 lbs over the course of a little over two years. I'm not allowed to count carbs due to my eating disorder, but I avoid grains and sugars as much as possible. I don't follow any one diet strictly, but the way I've eaten in the last year is more or less paleo with some dairy. I exercise about 3 times a week. \n\nLast year I did a glucose tolerance test and was diagnosed insulin resistant. My glucose is fine, insulin is not. I was put on Metformin which was a DISASTER. I ramped up over the course of four weeks, and ultimately switched to the extended release formulation. The dose was 2000mg per day. After 5 months I was still nauseous all the time and vomiting a couple of times a week. That was when I gave up on Metformin. I did another GTT a week ago and my insulin was still high. My doctor wants me to try again with Metformin. I'm game to try, but does anyone have any tips on managing nausea? I've done all the things I can find in various forums regarding when to take the medication, how to take the medication, taking it with food, taking it between bites, etc etc. I'm just really frustrated that even though my doctor is pleased with my progress on diet and weight loss that i'm going to have to go through this nightmare again. \n\nAny tips would be great. I want to give it a fair shot, but I have a lot of anxiety. Thank you!!!!!", "post_id": "3sbi2e", "comment_id": "cwvqzbo"}, {"question": "Not odd, and not illness.", "comment": "Long story short--I was looking at a list of indirect symptoms of ADHD and only really found relatability to one: talking to myself.\n\nMy issue is that I often hear talking to yourself is healthy. I've talked to counselors who affirm this belief, for I often come up with helpful conclusions to problems during a session largely because I'm talking out loud. If I have a problem that needs creative solving, I find a private space and talk out loud.\n\nIt's kind of like that rubber duck approach programmers use.\n\nIs this really that odd?", "post_id": "6h8jag", "comment_id": "diwcupw"}, {"question": "There is a lot you can do to help your husband even if he does not wish to stop drinking or accept treatment.  Read this page:\n\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_reinforcement_approach_and_family_training\n\nAlthough AA is helpful, it does not provide the medical care that is often necessary for a person to recover.  Research has shown that antidepressant medication increases a person's chances of maintaining abstinence by 60%.  Additionally, Naltrexone has been shown to be effective at reducing the craving for alcohol.\n\nTake care of yourself.  Seek out a therapist who is experienced with family problems that arise from addictions and get yourself the support that you need.  Often, partners of people with drinking problems have unmet emotional needs and anxieties about their partner's safety and reliability.  Don't cover for him and don't excuse bad behavior or be reluctant to attribute bad behavior to drinking.", "comment": "I have been married to an alcoholic for the past four years.  At first I didn't want to believe he had a problem however within the past year I have come to admit it.  I have never experienced this kind of addiction and I do not understand it, I have come to a loss of what to do.  I have given ultimatums, however they don't work and I can't bring myself to actually leave him.  He is capable of being sober when he is around me however it is the times where I am gone that he gets drunk.  Every time I come home from work I find him drunk and I don't want to feel as though I have to constantly babysit him for him to stay sober.  I want him to want it as much as I do.  He tried going to NA and AA however it doesn't seem to help.  Am I at a loss? I just don't know what to do from here or where to go.", "post_id": "23it9w", "comment_id": "cgxgd86"}, {"question": "Hello! I do some shifts on the Suicide Lifeline.\n\nFeel free to give us a buzz. We are only there to listen and provide help as best we can. We do not judge who decides to call us. As long as you aren't excessively mean to us we are happy to listen and let you talk about what's going on.\n\nIf you are not actively suicidal or trying to hurt yourself we generally do not try to get anybody involved to come find you. You will find we will ask you those questions though, and we just ask that you are honest. \n\nIf you have any other questions about the Suicide Lifeline id be happy to answer.", "comment": "I've been really depressed and feeling really alone for a very long time. I want to talk to someone right now, someone I don't know who isn't going to judge me, but I'm scared to call a mental health line. I'm not suicidal... And I worry I would be taking needed resources from someone who is.... And I'm scared that they would somehow get me to say I was suicidal and find out where I live and come commit me. I am not close to my family, I don't have a lot of friends these days, I am single... I'm my only source of financial security and it I can't work I can't pay my bills... Also anyone I've ever seen go to a mental hospital only comes back worse than when they left...\n\nI just want to talk to someone... I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be alright... Even if it isn't...  I've worked so hard for most of my life and now I'm just so exhausted and depressed... And lonely...\n\nI don't know what to do...", "post_id": "e1jad0", "comment_id": "f8pv1mb"}, {"question": "Sometimes being angry can give you the energy to do something when being sad would not. Sometimes I use my anger to make my life better, for instance by completing a task or cleaning up my house. I can't garrantee that will make you sleep better though. \n\nHave you considered seeking professional help for your sleeping complaints?", "comment": "Hello insomnia. You are a needy bitch.  Every night you wake me at this time and just need me awake.  I hate you , you attention whore.", "post_id": "ayon86", "comment_id": "ei2am3v"}, {"question": "Colloidal silver is safe, but it's not effective. It can conceivably build up in wounds and cause graying/bluing of the area if used over time. It might do the same to eyes, but again, I don't know.\n\nMostly using topical silver preparations is a waste of your time and money. It won't help anything, so all it can do is cause problems. If there's something that needs to be treated, get a real antibiotic. If there isn't, don't mess with your eyes, nose, or ears.", "comment": "25, Male, 5\u201911\u201d, 145lbs.\n\nIs using topical colloidal silver for infections safe? Is the worst case scenario that it doesn't do anything? Do the silver particles build up in the tissue when used topically? ", "post_id": "9m5a0u", "comment_id": "e7c0c7k"}, {"question": "This is unfortunately a difficult task. PsychologyToday only has limited Medicaid providers, because the PsychToday people are usually in private practice, and most of the therapists who accept Medicaid work at community mental health agencies, clinics, groups, etc.\n\n​\n\nI would contact your county's community mental health agency, and they can offer you options. [https://www.michigan.gov/documents/cmh\\_8\\_1\\_02\\_37492\\_7.PDF](https://www.michigan.gov/documents/cmh_8_1_02_37492_7.PDF)\n\n​\n\n​\n\nReviews are hard to come by, because of the nature of therapy being private and confidential. So I am in Michigan too and understand the challenge you are up against here. Word of mouth is good, and when you are setting up your intake through either your county or the agency, ask the receptionist or intake person who they recommend or who has gotten good feedback from other clients.\n\n​\n\nAlso wanted to add, if you are seeking Substance Abuse Therapy, there may be other ways of finding a provider - and you may be restricted to stay within your county of residence. \n\n​\n\nGood Luck!!", "comment": "I'm not convinced that the provider directory from my insurance company is accurate.  And therapists' websites don't always seem to be accurate either.  (They say they take Medicaid.... until you call them).\n\nI know PsychologyToday has a directory, but that doesn't seem to be accurate either.\n\nAny tips?  Do provider directories tend to be the most accurate?  (I had serious problems with the United Healthcare directory).\n\nI have a Meridian medicaid plan and I live in Michigan, if it matters.  I'm having a difficult time finding a medicaid therapist with good reviews.  (Heck, most of these therapists hardly have any reviews at all).\n\nDo you have any idea how helpful a government provided directory might be, [like this one](https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-71547_2943_52115-203750--,00.html)?\n\nAny advice would be much appreciated.  Thank you.", "post_id": "ai0pwh", "comment_id": "egma9oy"}, {"question": "He isn't saying anything that unbelievable.  As someone on the spectrum myself, I believe that *everyone* is on the spectrum \"on a very drawn-out scale\" (as Seinfeld put it).\n\nWhether he has been diagnosed or is diagnosable is a different matter, but  I think that, given the way he stated it, it is hard to doubt.", "comment": "https://celebrity.yahoo.com/the-insider/jerry-seinfeld-im-autism-spectrum-135635797.html", "post_id": "2ll772", "comment_id": "clvwalo"}, {"question": "Your wife is what my generation calls \"high maintenance.\"  You've got to decide if you are up to the task, but understand that you will likely NEVER be able to fully satisfy her.  You'll succumb to her wishes in one area, and she'll ask for the same in another area.  And the cycle will never end until you decide to stop giving in, or you or she decide they've had enough.", "comment": "I am not sure how many times I can post about my problems, but I am at the end of my rope. \n\nLast night after we watched a movie I decided that I wanted to write. (Before this we agreed that I would write for an hour a day when able because she had a problem with it) The house work wasn't done--I admit--before I started, but when I noticed that she was starting to do it all, I dropped what I was doing and helped. \nI went back to my writing as soon as I did my part (and what I thought was the rest of it) and she decided to sit down and play some Temple Run and go on Pintrest. She then proceeded to tell me that my hour was up and that she figured that I would want to sit down beside her to look at baby shower ideas. \n\nI said that I didnt realize I went over the hour, I didn't know she was looking at that stuff, and that all I needed was one more sentence. \n\nI typed for a few seconds, paused, then resumed. Then she blew up. She started yelling saying that I was done and that I was writing more than I said I was--when really I just had to think about that particular sentence. \nShe says that my writing is more important to her when it isnt, and she has her family and a church leader to back her up. They agree it's a problem when it really isn't. It has been a life-long dream of mine to write a full length novel...and now her parents say that I should give it up since it is causing a problem. (I already had to give up my gaming hobby because she said I need to grow up...)\n\nI told her that she was wrong and that she does not need to get mad over the smallest things. And that is probably the worst thing I could have done. \n\nThis morning I wake up like nothing happened, wanting to forget it all and just continue on with my life and marriage, but she uses everything I have done in the past as ammunition, taking stabs to make me feel like crap for hurting her. She then took my laptop away and told me I wasn't getting it back, when she knows that my work is on there. \n\nI yank it out of her hands and I tell her that I am tired of her. \n\nShe is wanting a divorce, something that comes up every time we fight, and I sit here feeling guilty for what I said and did. Her family thinks I have issues and that it's all my fault and there is nothing I can say now that can change that...\n\nI am depressed and angry over all of this, and all I want is to make my own choices and live my life the way I want, but those choices are seen to be selfish and I have no idea what is right or what is wrong anymore. What I have the right to do and what I shouldn't do. All because I try to make her happy. \n\nI am sorry for the long ranting. I need guidance for what I should do to fix this since I am alone in this fight. \n\nEDIT: Earlier she said that she puts forth so much effort into this marriage when I don't. I asked her how I wasn't, wanting to fix it. All she said was that since I want to write all the time (once everyday is all I ask) that my effort drains into my hobby instead of her. ", "post_id": "29ef3q", "comment_id": "cikbzek"}, {"question": "My mom has PCOS as well and worked in a commercial kitchen hauling around 25 and 50 lbs of produce, flour and such. She was overweight at the time so you didn\u2019t see it much on her frame but her biceps got *jaked* like she flexed and it was just huge. She took pride in it, Rosie the Riveter style. \n\nI wouldn\u2019t let it dissuade you all together, just keep an eye on it. Maybe do some yoga or Pilates to get that lean look rather than bulky. ", "comment": "Hey guys! I'm currently at a healthy weight and three months into a lifting program. My trainer assured me it wouldn't really bulk me up, but I started to do research as to *why* it shouldn't bulk me up, and it's because of testosterone! Usually women don't have enough... but do we??  I completely forgot I have PCOS, and I already finished all my personal training sessions so I can't ask my trainer :(", "post_id": "7f2vr6", "comment_id": "dq9j60z"}, {"question": "her ex's desires are irrelevant, it's up to your gf to ask him to leave her alone", "comment": "We are in a Long distance relationship. We met twice and i stayed for like 2 weeks in her place anyways. We are nearing our 6th month together we are both happy for each other. But here is a problem her ex wants her back and 2 of her friends support her ex. The reason they broke up is the guy cheated on him but they didnt have any closure in their relationship. So moving on, her 2 friend supports her ex to court her again or something. But we as a couple we are annoyed by this. Her ex is near her place and im quite far i need to ride a plane just to be with her. But i got her bestfriends who support me too but those people dont annoying her what should we do about this situation? thanks alot!", "post_id": "5xgji5", "comment_id": "dehvycm"}, {"question": "> refuses to bath\n\n> three other people in his mind\n\n> trying to convince me that magic is not only real, but that he can do it. He just can't do it yet\n\nThese are signs of significant mental illness, like schizophrenia, or maybe drug use. Please get him professionally evaluated. He is unlikely to \"listen\" on his own, he's sick.", "comment": "This is about my little brother. He is 19 years old. He is a high school drop out with no friends, no job, and no plans for the future. All he does is sit around the house playing video games and complain about how stupid everyone else is and he's sick of \"all the morons.\". Which is why he dropped out of high school. He said something along the lines of, \"Imagine how much I hate you, and multiply it by 100.\". He refuses to bath and consistently mentions how he doesn't like anybody else and that he doesn't care about anyone else in our family. He is explosively angry and violent, antisocial, and an inconvenience on those around him. I keep trying to help him out and give him advice. But every time I try, he insists that he doesn't want to talk to someone as moronic as me.\n\nI'm concerned for him. He has shown many signs of depression and self loathing. He frequently mentions how he has three other people in his mind. But than again, he is also a compulsive liar who believes he is some kind of... I don't know how to put this... Mage? He is constantly trying to convince me that magic is not only real, but that he can do it. He just can't do it yet.\n\nI want to help him not become the person I see him becoming, but he refuses to listen to anything.", "post_id": "3458yy", "comment_id": "cqrd4we"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve been taking it since high school.  My nightmares have been few and far between so maybe it depends on the person.  Medication can have different effects on different people.", "comment": "I\u2019ve been having a lot of weird, negative dreams, and waking up with night sweats. I\u2019m starting to think it\u2019s my meds. Has anyone else had this happen?", "post_id": "bc1alk", "comment_id": "ekmzolt"}, {"question": "There there are few absolutes in life. It is less about right or wrong or overbearing or under bearing or nagging or not nagging; it's about whether or not your boyfriend is the kind of man you want your boyfriend to be.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for getting close to 6 months. He's practically brand new in the world of dating. Before me his last relationship was ldr and it was back when he was still in highschool.\n\nWell, I'm having a bit of an issue here. Keep in mind they're minor and I usually I just let it go or even laugh about it because everyone's got their own baggage. But imo they're starting to add up and starting to make me want to yell at him. \n\nI apologize if its lengthy but here goes:\n\n   We both live in our parent's houses (thats not the problem) Now a 20 minute drive doesnt bother me; what does bother me is that everytime I arrive there he's either still asleep in bed, or awake but unshowered or even hasn't even brushed his teeth. Especially that last part. He knows I hate bad breath and bad hygiene yet he's always trying to kiss me even though a single toothbrush bristle hasn't even touched anywhere in his mouth. And everytime I ask why he hasn't he's always saying something like \"I was busy\", even though it could be 2pm and he texted me he was awake around 11am. Like what could you be doing thats so time consuming you can't take 2 minutes out of your life to brush your teeth? I took like an hours worth of time and energy to look good for my bf, why cant he do the same?\n\n   Next, he doesn't have a car or a license (again, not a problem) What DOES bug me is that everytime I pick him up, I never get a thank you or anything. Furthermore, when I try to bring up driving school or anything its automatically shot down with a \"No, I havent looked into it\" or an \"I don't have time/money\" I'm always telling him I'll happily pay for the school or drive him there but we never get past that. \n   \nSpeaking of money, the problem is just that. Now before I get there, let me just say he has spent money on me often and I thank him everytime for doing so. But everytime he does get a huge sum of money one of the first things I tell him is \"Ok before anything, save $ __ amount of money for driving school/an apartment/ a car/ etc\" and before the week ends, guess where it goes? Anime/manga, fast food, video game related items, everything but what we mentioned we need to save for. I get that we all want things, but his bad habit is that those are his priorities rather than his secondaries. \n   \nLastly, the last problem is that he doesn't work. His last job was a work-study but he's not in college this year due to some fafsa related problem. Same concept as the driving school dilemma: I ask, met with \"yeah I'll do it later\" or \"no I haven't so stop nagging me to do it\". Meanwhile I just finished my umpteenth job application because I'm desperately trying to support myself, my car insurance, and him and our needs.\n\nTL;DR: Bf is stinky-breathed, unemployed with no driver's license\n\nI'm constantly being told that I'm being that \"overbearing nagging buzzkill girlfriend\". I'm wanting to know if I'm asking for too much from him? Or am I in the right? Any advice for this type of relationship?  Thanks!", "post_id": "5shuan", "comment_id": "ddfawfc"}, {"question": "If it has to be anonymous, you could have them enter an ID # based on, say, a combo of their student ID and date of birth or something along those lines. I've seen some surveys ask me to enter, like, first two letters of mom's name, the two digit day I was born, and last letter of my first name. Just obscure enough to hide my identity, still unique to just me. I suppose people could still forge some but it might be enough of a barrier to stop most.", "comment": "Last year we used google forms but people were able to submit multiple people. It will need to be able to support a few hundred votes. What would the best system be?", "post_id": "f9dh1k", "comment_id": "fiqu26m"}, {"question": "Depends. How heavy was your drinking?\n\nWorst case scenario is that you've suffered significant liver damage. You might want to see your GP on the first instance for some routine blood tests.", "comment": "I've always been a heavy drinker but now I can barely drink a glass of wine unless I am sipping on it over the course of fifteen minutes. I used to drink vodka straight out of the bottle no troubles, but after getting shitfaced too many times, do you think my body may have adapted by making me sick by alcohol now? ", "post_id": "5755xr", "comment_id": "d8p62ey"}, {"question": "It really almost doesn't matter how often you smoke with marijuana as to whether it's going to cause this.  There are people who smoke 4-5 days a week and don't get \"addicted\".  If you do smoke regularly in order to cope with your stress you will end up dependent though.  Only way this will likely go away is if you quit smoking for good while, learn healthier ways to cope with the anxiety, and if you do decide to start smoking again, make a conscious effort not to smoke when you are incredibly stressed.\n\n\nLoads of people go to therapy for help with this and I'd suggest the same.  Learning how to cope with stress in healthy ways is hard for everyone.  It becomes a hell of a lot harder when you've spent months or years using a chemical to cope and then suddenly have to stop, want to stop, or just can't get it.  \n\n\nBest of luck!", "comment": "I\u2019m not necessarily a stoner, I smoke a few days a week but don\u2019t stay stoned all day. But if I go more than a couple days without smoking I tend to get panic attacks. Does anyone else have a problem like this and know a different solution (I don\u2019t have the money to afford CBDs) as I start getting really bad panic attacks after a week of not smoking and I don\u2019t always have easy access to it.", "post_id": "8nmkyb", "comment_id": "dzwoaey"}, {"question": "When you intend to never see him again as a patient, it is ok to ask him out.  Actually, it was always ok on your end; it just wouldn't be ok for him to ask you out without terminating the doc-patient relationship first.  In the psychotherapy universe, it is never ok...not even 50 yrs later!", "comment": "I went to the ER a couple of weeks ago with a facial laceration and they called in a plastic surgeon to stitch it up. He was absolutely wonderful and I'm sure he's like that with most of his patients; I'm not an idiot.\n\nHad a re-check appointment and I just find him so charming. He's a few years older than me and as far as I can tell, he's not married. I have one more follow up in a couple weeks to check on the injury.\n\nI'm not planning on ever having any plastic surgery, and there's no reason that I would have to see him again as a patient. What would be the best way to go about asking him out sometime after my final re-check? He had sent me his cell number if I had questions in an email I sent when I had a question right after I saw him in the ER.\n\nI'm also totally fine with saying something about how I get that it's probably a complicated situation but I don't expect that it would need to remain doctor/patient relationship if I'm probably never going to see him again in a professional capacity.. ", "post_id": "6ok3f1", "comment_id": "dkhyoi2"}, {"question": "Married 21 years.  It's tough to put into a percentage, but generally after work we spend an hour or so on the sofa watching TV (don't let anyone tell you this is not spending time together.)  We go out once or twice a week without our son.  We eat meals together.  We spend much of the weekend together, but alone time is also important.  Even though we may be in the same house or same room, we also spend a great deal of time doing things on our own.  \n\nOur interests are pretty different and it would drive me insane if my wife expected that we were to be together every waking minute.", "comment": "I think I have a very deluded idea of what dating/married life is like.\n\nCould you give me percentage wise of how much time you spend with your SO while dating then afterwards in your marriage?  Are you ok with it?\n\n**EDIT:  Thanks for the huge amount of responses!  I think what I meant was:  How much quality time do you spend with your SO/spouse, not so much passive time.**", "post_id": "1nuhna", "comment_id": "ccm68nz"}, {"question": "I am seeing a psychiatrist Thursday and believe I\u2019ll end up being diagnosed. Up until this point, for me it has been a lot of sadness and resignation, as I\u2019ve been on many antidepressants with limited results and have believed I\u2019m just destined to struggle my whole life. I constantly fall back into the same old cycle and have felt bewildered as to why I can never seem to get my shit together. Having undiagnosed ADHD for me has been characterized by a lot of self judgment and, at times, self loathing. I\u2019m really hoping getting the right treatment will make a difference. Hope it does for you too.", "comment": "26 year old female struggling a lot with a recent diagnosis and finding a medication that works and I just really like hearing stories I can relate to. I don\u2019t want to be alone in this. Tell your stories here, please!", "post_id": "a0nixr", "comment_id": "eaj08ni"}, {"question": "You are totally right in your feelings. You're putting up with way too much sh*t.", "comment": "My BF (33M) and I (35F) have been together nearly 2 years. We\u2019re engaged (sort of) and live together. He has a history of doing things behind my back (ie sexting other girls pics of himself and requesting the same in return; emails and texts to ex, etc) which I forgave and we BOTH worked towards rebuilding our relatiobship and being honest and committed. \n  However I\u2019ve noticed since the beginning of the year he\u2019s been extra withdrawn. At first he said it was a \u201chobby\u201d learning about various software programming and whatnot for a MacBook I bought him for Christmas. Then, he went from little to no convo to not talking to or spending time with me at all, and I can\u2019t help but shake the feeling there\u2019s more to it than \u201clearning about a hobby\u201d.\n  We\u2019ve argued numerous times and he says being in the same room counts as \u201cquality time spent\u201d, yet he doesn\u2019t engage or interact UNLESS he\u2019s in the mood; or requires something of my existence. \n  Also, his suspect behavior concerning other women has come back into play. He\u2019s secretive with passwords and has numerous cloud drives. He\u2019s began having private encrypted chats and texts with other/former flames and even invited a girl he has a past with into our bedroom (yet failed to tell me the extent of their relationship until SHE brought it to my attention). On top of it all he\u2019s moody; shouts at me all the time (even for asking questions or requesting we do something as a couple) uses profanity towards me regularly and is kind; talkative and patient with his friends and even other females. \n  I love him but I daily feel disrespected and as if he could care less if I\u2019m in his life or not. I don\u2019t want a failed relationship however deep down (and I\u2019ve been patient and understanding) I feel I deserve better treatment than this or at least minimally kindness. Could anyone tell me if I\u2019m blowing it out of proportion or asking fat too much. ", "post_id": "782fbm", "comment_id": "doqjjut"}, {"question": "Is he also in the triangle?", "comment": "I come from a long line of alcoholics on my dad's side. I have never picked up that habit, but unfortunately, my brother did. He used to get drunk and just hang out, but lately, he has been getting violent. He can't keep a job, which is sad because he is a really talented chef, and he is currently living with my mother. He is 37 years old. Last night, my mom sent me a picture of her gas grill. It was dented in from where he smashed it. I called her and could hear him yelling in the background. He was telling her she was a bitch and telling her to fuck off. I talked to my other brother in Raleigh and he and I agreed that the cops needed to be called. He called them from Raleigh, and I called them from Wilmington. (North Carolina)  The cops got to the house and said they couldn't arrest him. I have no idea why. He was destroying my mom's house and they couldn't do anything? WTF??  After the cops left, I was talking to my mom on the phone. I heard him say, \"You called the fucking cops on me? fucking bitch!\" I told my mom to tell him it was me who called the cops. A few minutes later I am getting texts from him telling me \"I hope you die, bitch.\" and \"Have a nice retarded life with your kids.\" (My kids are autistic)  I am at a total loss on what to do. I told my mom she needed to kick his ass out of the house. Let him live in a shelter or whatever, but he couldn't stay there. It is only a matter of time before he does something to her. I'm sorry for the post, but I had to vent, and I figured this would be the place to do it. \nthanks for reading. ", "post_id": "1h9kc8", "comment_id": "cas5k27"}, {"question": "Your boyfriend, whatever his struggles and history is either A) capable of behaving better or B) not. \n\nIf it's B, your future is well and truly fucked and you're waaaaay better off leaving him. If it's A, he'd better start doing better soon, or you're going to become convinced it's B and leave regardless. \n\nIn order to figure out the truth, you need to learn to identify your relational needs and to communicate your boundaries and keep them.\n\nCounseling is very helpful for that.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I are high school sweethearts. I graduate college in may 2018 with an Associate's degree in nursing and plan to finish my Bachelor's degree. My boyfriend on the other hand is not in college and is about to lose his job because of missing work and being late all the time. We don't live together but we've always thought about marriage. I'm just stressed out that our financial future is going to be my responsibility. We've known each other for almost 6 years and 4 of those years have been us in a relationship. The 2 years we weren't together, right after finishing high school, he had problems with drugs and the law. Since then he hasn't used hard drugs or pills but he was diagnosed with depression and hasn't been able to deal with it entirely. He comes from a very broken home and really tough background. I come from a dysfunctional family but had a way better upbringing than him. I'm just not sure how to make all of this work. We got back together a year ago and everything was great in the beginning but the last maybe 8 months have been really tough. I don't like it when he smokes weed because of the drug problem he had which has caused a lot of fights between us. My family cares about him a lot but thinks he's a loser compared to me and don't think twice about letting me know which makes me doubt our relationship even more. I just don't know what to do or how to deal with all of this. ", "post_id": "6fyanv", "comment_id": "dilzmhy"}, {"question": "That is awesome.  You are a gem :)  \n  \nI had a similar experience with minecraft and cell phone games.  Where I live, it's \"weird\" for an adult to admit they are interested in such \"childish\" things, but relating to the kids about them really got me \"in\" when I'd been hovering on the outside.", "comment": "I'm teaching summer school right now and as assumed, a majority of the kids don't wanna be there.  Anyways, I've been able to get through to most of my students except for this one kid.  He's super-quiet (scores well in assessments relative to his class, though) and participates sporadically.  He's not disruptive and he's attentive for the most part, but sometimes he's prone to \"disappearing\", if that makes any sense.\n\nAnyways, he wore this shirt yesterday: \nhttp://www.welovefine.com/849-2002-large/just-got-20-cooler.jpg\n\nI'm not a Brony and I don't really have a strong opinion about their fandom (to each their own) but I knew this was my way in.  Some quick research at /r/mylittlepony and I thought of a way to quickly bond with this student.  \n\nI assigned group work and while I was walking around checking on the groups, I walked up to this kid and put my fist up and said, \"Bro-hoof\".  He gave me a fist bump and I swear his face lit up brighter than even I thought could be possible.  He smiled and ever since then, he's been a model student.  It's so crazy to see how a fist bump (Bro-hoof, if you must) can have just as much importance as all the educational and pedagogical theory I've had to learn to be a teacher.  \n\nLife is funny.  \n\nEDIT:  Thanks for the kind messages and Reddit Gold!! ", "post_id": "1gnxpy", "comment_id": "camb53k"}, {"question": "\"That sounds a lot like the story you told me about....\"\n\n\"Didn't the same thing happen last week with _____?\"\n\n\"From what you told me , it seems like ______ is really (stressful/triggering/complicated/painful/confusing) for you.\"\n\n\"If I remember correctly , this isn't the first time _______.\"", "comment": "Thanks for sorting new!\n\nHow do I point out a repeating behavior better than \"You do that a lot\"? Or is there something even better I could do to get someone to notice their reactions/prejudices?\n\nThanks again!", "post_id": "gj9xm2", "comment_id": "fqjpzxh"}, {"question": "most couples have a balance between time together and time apart", "comment": "My girlfriend and I are not seeing eye to eye on a relationship. My girlfriend think that in a relationship it should be always us and when an individual think about wanting to do something, he/she should include us.\n\nMeanwhile, sometimes, I might want to do something with the guys or travel on my own without my girlfriend. I don't see it selfish, but for me it doesn't have to be us 24/7.\n\nAm I seeing it wrong here or do I have a point?", "post_id": "64wiwz", "comment_id": "dg5ng5e"}, {"question": "This is great...barring the possibility that this post is actually a compulsion of confession, and you understand that your OCD fears may return whether or not you use your items because you cannot have certainty and complete control of your thoughts or future... That said, enjoy your trip!! ", "comment": "I have scrupulosity OCD, and when I was buying travel items for my vacation a woman let me go in front of her in line. This was super nice of her, but because of my OCD I thought that I \"skipped her\" and that I sinned even though I offered her to go in front of me and she said it was ok. For some reason my OCD made me think my items were contaminated and that if I used them on my trip it would trigger my other obsessions. I'm gonna go through with bringing the items as an exposure, because I don't want the OCD to have control over my life.", "post_id": "6qbjtx", "comment_id": "dkwaciv"}, {"question": "Whether it's girls, guys, or anyone else.  Making friends or connecting with people is all about finding out what interests you have in common and  going from there.  So for talking subjects:  What do you like to do for fun?, What kind of music do you listen to?, What kind of tv shows or books are you into?  etc. etc. etc.  \n\n", "comment": "So i'm a 15 year old and i have a hard time trying to talk with girls.Everytime i time to spark a conversation i feel like they are gonna ignore me anyways/they are forced to not ignore me.How do i find the courage to speak with them,and what would be some interesting talking subjects?", "post_id": "9jf27u", "comment_id": "e6qzage"}, {"question": "Wow, that\u2019s amazing, especially since you\u2019re in such a challenging field! Congratulations! You earned it.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "a77yyk", "comment_id": "ec10dd8"}, {"question": "There are a number of life events you have no control over, Death is one of it. The sooner you realise this and focus on living and bettering yourself as an individual, the better. ", "comment": "I'm so cripplingly afraid of death and leaving my loved ones and being nothing after death that I shake and cry and have panic attacks. I almost feel like I should just get it over with since it could happen any time anyway why wait to be surprised and crushed... ugh fml", "post_id": "8e9bls", "comment_id": "dxthjiy"}, {"question": "Write a letter, \"this is my two weeks notice.   My last day will be x\".   They need no more justification than that.   \n\nIf they push for an explanation, just tell them that you are having a tough time balancing school and work.   ", "comment": "I'm 16, and I work part-time at a fast food place. I struggle a lot with anxiety and depression and I'm finding that this job and balancing school is just making it worse for me. I don't know how to tell my boss I am going to quit because I'm socially awkward.", "post_id": "586nb5", "comment_id": "d8y9mzn"}, {"question": "My psychiatrist recommended I take trintellix before bed so I\u2019d sleep through any potential upset stomach. I have been on it for close to a year now and I never had any issues even at the beginning. So maybe ask your doc if taking it before bed is an option.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "en0cd3", "comment_id": "fech191"}, {"question": "I agree....we all have our own vision of our best life. It can be anything. What do you want..health, relationships...? Good luck. ", "comment": "It's not so easy.\n\nI did stuff - help in the NHS. I managed 54 days, at the start of the year, and 30 days this past month.\n\nBut it's hard. I drank a lot last night. I have the sweats, the fears, the shakes, the nervousness, the sense of doom, the disappointment at giving up my streak.\n\nI'm thinking of attending an AA session in the next few days. I am a mathematician - there's no higher power for me. I hope it will still work.\n\nI'm alone, and I'm scared. And let me tell you, hangovers are not so easy in the UK right now with this stupid heat! :-)\n\nDavid\n\n\\-edit- Thank you for all the messages of support, they are appreciated. I found a meeting nearby, and plan to attend soon.", "post_id": "91ifjz", "comment_id": "e2yhtn9"}, {"question": "I think you better avoid the subject with her in the future if possible.", "comment": "Not couples therapy. My girlfriend just likes me there.\n\n​\n\nHowever we were discussing how I have helped her from not being scared of spirits and the supernatural. How before we lived together her mother would reinforce spirits constantly in her mind. I was explaining how if you realize how powerful you and your brain truly are, you will realize there are no such things. Simply because there is NO EVIDENCE. Brought up the man who offered millions if anyone in the world could prove anything supernatural. How no one could. I was explaining the reason something made a noise or moved was due to something logical. \n\n​\n\nHer therapist seemed to take offense. She kept telling me to prove that spirits dont exist. I said because there is no proof that they do. No one has ever seen one. She kept saying prove they dont exist. I found that to be a ridiculous question AS NO ONE CAN PROVE ITS REAL. Not gonna lie i kept defending my logic she kept making no educated valid points. My heart beat started racing fast. My girlfriend  changed the subject quickly.\n\n​\n\nI forgot her therapist in her past before i knew her used to push religion a lot.  Realized her therapist was probably offended because it reminded her of the argument if god exists.\n\n​\n\nWhat do you think?", "post_id": "ci7lp5", "comment_id": "ev25r49"}, {"question": "Whoever said EMDR made her drink again: nothing can MAKE you drink, but perhaps she wasn't communicating well with her therapist if things got out of hand. Therapists aren't clarvoyant, & if something is too much too fast, you have to tell them. It sounds more like she set herself up to fail.\n\nDo what works for YOU to keep you happy & healthy, & your group be damned. I'm biased, being a therapist myself, but I do agree with your sentiments. You get better by confronting your demons, & a therapist in individual sessions in conjunction with group will help you find yourself. Good luck!", "comment": "Does anyone incorporate therapy as part of their recovery? I\u2019m getting mixed messages at my AA group. I was in trauma therapy at my rehab and I plan to continue it. I truly believe if I don\u2019t heal from the past it\u2019s going to keep me sick. I have a history of sexual and verbal abuse I haven\u2019t worked through. My ex temporary sponsor tells me she addresses her alcoholism on a daily basis and that\u2019s all she needs to do. Also told me another girl did EDMR therapy and started drinking again. Fuck that. My past made me who I am today, I\u2019m a very frightened anxious person and I want to come out of my shell. Advice please.", "post_id": "aov6m9", "comment_id": "eg4wiwj"}, {"question": "If a person goes to therapy because they want attention or is wasting time - that is important clinical information! That would indicate they need some help. \n\nIf someone told me they want therapy but is afraid their therapist thinks they are wasting time , I would want to process that. \n\nThere are people who are well functioning and have great coping skills , but are facing a short-term stressor and benefit from talking it out.  They don't need long term therapy,  but like to discuss a few things with an impartial third party .", "comment": "Basically the title - I am considering getting therapy, but am worried a therapist would think I was fine and wouldn't need it. Kind of similar to how I dont like to go to a doctor due to being concerned that the doctor will think that I'm fine and just wanting attention or wasting their time. \nSo I was just wondering if a therapist would ever think that kind of thing about a client.", "post_id": "g6cwre", "comment_id": "fo8uzcz"}, {"question": "How do you find these meetings anyways? Never used Zoom and have no idea how to use it lol. I feel like this is something I would really benefit from", "comment": "Who is loving the zoom aa meetings? I am their fabulous", "post_id": "fn3a3d", "comment_id": "fl7d4gm"}, {"question": "I'm so sorry to hear that you've been hit with so many terrible things at once. There's a lot of great advice in here, so I'll just keep my two cents brief: in times like these, it's absolutely okay to grieve, feel like shit, get angry, and have every other kind of emotion. You experienced the emotional equivalent of getting hit by a bus, and it's going to take time to heal. It's okay to fall apart for a bit. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. And while you take time to heal, make sure to practice plenty of self-compassion and try to make healthy choices for yourself. ", "comment": "Hello everyone,\n\nI think I'm reaching my breaking point.\n\nAbout half a year ago I was doing okay. I lost so much in just three months I'm still stunned about it. First I got out of job, I will spare you the details. I thought I'd be okay, because I thought I could find something else soon enough. But then my dog got very ill. I stayed home to take care of him, but he died a few weeks later. I was completely heartbroken. He was my childhood dog, the one I grew up with, and since I had already lost another dog two years ago I was clinging onto him.\n\nI miss him so much, but it didn't end here. Barely a week later, I'm having this huge fight with my male best friend (I'm a woman) because I found out he's been hacking into my computer and had access to all my personal info and more importantly my conversations. He confessed on spying on my conversations with my boyfriend and that he'd been doing so for six months because he was jealous of our relationship. I was heartbroken again because this guy had been my best friend for so long and I would have trusted him with my life so this definitely felt like betrayal. I decided not to talk to him anymore.\n\nBut as if it weren't enough yet, no later than a few weeks later, my boyfriend asks me if I would like \"opening our relationship\" cause you know, there's this girl that's really hot and funny and he'd love to bang her too. When I told him that it made me uncomfortable and that I thought polyamory wasn't my thing, he left me and now he's in a relationship with her. Since I was the one that joined his group of friends, obviously they kept hanging out with him.\n\nI'm heartbroken. I'm lonely. I'm spending summer home cause well, the trip we wanted to make together was cancelled. I'm out of job, my best friend is dead, my other best friend is creepy and my previous boyfriend is a jerk. Obviously, I'm probably better off without people like that in my life, but loneliness is killing me. I never was the best at making new friends even though I love people and finally having some stability in my relationships was really refreshing for a chance.\n\nNow I feel more lonely than I ever was. I try to talk to new people and try dating apps just to try and \"put myself out there\", but most of the time I just feel myself numb to everything. I haven't been able to find another job, I feel like a loser and my family is getting really pissed at me for crying so easily. I totally understand them, but I don't know what to do anymore.Some days I just want to curl up and stop breathing, some other days I just wish for a new genuine friend to just hug me. My life was comfortable enough for me to feel content and happy, and everything collapsed so quickly that I still can't believe it sometimes.\n\nI'm sorry this is so long. I really needed to vent. Thank you, I hope you have a nice day.", "post_id": "9522l9", "comment_id": "e3pu80q"}, {"question": "Please see a psychiatrist. Treatment can help. You can have a fulfilling life; you are too depressed to see clearly right now. You have value as a person.", "comment": "I am twenty years old, and yet I feel completely spent. I am in my third year of a Psychology degree. I can't say that I don't enjoy it, but it's a dull kind of enjoyment. \n\nI don't know what I am working towards. Obviously there is the material side of things. Getting a job to make sure I don't starve. Getting a mold-free flat with good heating. But I feel that that's where it ends. \n\nMost of my friends have their goals. They want to get married. Get a house. Start a family. \n\nBut I feel like I cannot do these things. I have bipolar disorder. I don't want to have children. I do not want to pass it onto them. My dad has it, and he can barely function. That is not the only reason.\n\nI am a woman, but I feel disgusted with myself. I do not feel like a woman. I am bisexual (heavily leaning towards women) and I feel that when I am attracted towards women, I think I see them as a man would. It doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel.\n\nOne of my high school friends is going to have a baby. Until now, I didn't know how much I was disturbed and disgusted by the concept of pregnancy. It's one of the most natural things in the world, and yet, I just cannot process it. I could never have a child growing inside of me.\n\nI do not want to get married. My moods and behavior are too unstable to hold down a long term relationship. When I am depressed, I cannot handle intercourse. The last time I had sex, in December, I cried. I could not have sex. I was hearing voices of my parents and other relatives screaming at me. It was not a hallucination. It was like a daydream.\n\nI have violent nightmares, in which I do strange things, like rip my favourite things to shreds. I had a dream where I strangled my family.\n\nIn turn, when I am in my 'manic' phase, I can only sleep properly for 4 hours at best. Everything is completely hilarious. I start writing the next magnum opus of modern literature. I start believing that I am God's gift to every field in the world. The last time I was manic, I was researching how to become an astronaut. Never mind that I had failed the majority of my physics exams in high school. I was completely ecstatic when I saw that I meet the height requirement. I would be on Mars in no time. I have passions and hobbies, but they are fleeting.\n\nI have not yet started treatment for the bipolar disorder. But I know this will never end. It is not something that can be cured. The treatment might reduce the swings, but they will not go away.\n\nI am exhausted.\n\nI feel like I am only keeping myself alive to take care of my parents when they get old. \n\nI have started to think: 'Mum is 50, Dad is 55, they will probably be around for 25-30 more years. When they die, so can I.'.\n\nI feel like I will continue to exist for God knows how long, for no reason.\n\nI don't want to live like this, but I can't die yet.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "au38e5", "comment_id": "eh5ndbg"}, {"question": "Riiiiight, and of course it's absolutely not lazy and unmotivated to send a patient away with a 'nope, you don't have it  byeee'...\n\nDefinitely find a another doctor. A GP is not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, should not make a formal diagnosis, and should definitely give you a referral. ", "comment": "25 years old. I've recently been considering that I may have ADHD. Pretty much all of the symptoms struck a chord with me and it might be why I've been struggling so much. I decided that I showed too many symptoms to ignore and have all my life so I booked an appointment with the GP in my university to try to get information and a referral. She told me that there was no way I would have gotten into university with undiagnosed ADHD as I wouldn't have gotten the grades. She wouldn't listen to any symptoms and had made up her mind that I was overreacting.\n\nI then went to my GP in my hometown for another opinion. She's been my GP all my life so I thought she might be more open to my thoughts. She completely dismissed me, calling ADHD a \"fad\" and a \"sexy diagnosis\". She said that seeing as my parents share some of my symptoms that it's just learned \"bad behaviour\" and that some people are just lazy. She treated me like someone looking for drugs and flatout refused to give me any information or a referral.\nI'm so afraid to go looking again as I've already spent so much time and money and I've been left feeling like I'm reading too much into it and really am just disorganised and lazy.\n\nHas anyone had else had any trouble seeking a diagnosis as an adult and how did you get people to take you seriously?\n\nTLDR: Been seeking a diagnosis and been dismissed by two doctors as lazy and unmotivated. Any advice in being taken seriously?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "b9fkdi", "comment_id": "ek48q6h"}, {"question": "Dual-diagnosis like mental illness and drug addiction?", "comment": "Quick post, I'm typing this while at work and having a very rough time.\n\n\n\nEdit: I've decided to take a leave of absence for twelve weeks from work. I'll be seeing my therapist and psychiatrist more often in that time, doing more self care, and going to more meetings (addiction related). Thanks everyone for what you've said, it's helped me to understand that this is not easy and needs to be handled in it's own unique way. Keep spreading hope. ", "post_id": "25yubz", "comment_id": "chm8bm4"}, {"question": "Amazing job! ", "comment": "...I can't believe how much better I am feeling.  IWNDWYT!", "post_id": "7yw72j", "comment_id": "dujran6"}, {"question": "Many in the next generation are going to have next to no social skills.  In our generation of adult millennials (I'm one, on the older side though at 32), studies show that the political divide between people on both sides has everyone so sensitive that each demonizes the other and is unwilling to have a conversation with them or accept that they might be a good person despite political differences.  This is equally true of both sides of the political spectrum.  This could get a lot worse before it gets better and may undoubtedly passed on to the younger generation.\n\n\nOn top of that, with the rise in technology, kids and teenagers are deferring outside play and face to face interaction for social media and video games.  This looks like it's contributing to rising obesity, lower frustration tolerance, higher social anxiety, and a substantially stifled maturity regarding social skills.  \n\n\nAnecdotally, It's been more than a few times on Social Skills Reddit pages I've seen commenters say something like \"If you like the girl but never talked to her, say hi to her in person, find out what you both like and make plans to hang out.\"  with a response of something like \"Nope.... people don't do things like that.  I just wanted to know how many times it's okay to snapchat her since we've never actually spoken?\"", "comment": "The generation that raises the next molds the understanding of the next generation.  Each generation grows up determined not to be like the one that raised them.  Each generation has grown more entitled and offended by mundane things and with more depression and suicide.  Where does the buck stop?", "post_id": "aew11j", "comment_id": "edtqihj"}, {"question": "I think cutting out alcohol on weeknights is a great step to take, and will give you both the opportunity to see whether moderation is right for you. As someone who began about 5 years of moderation attempts in the same way, here are some things to look out for. \n\n- It\u2019s Wednesday, but you had such a stressful day that you\u2019re going to have just one or two drinks because you deserve it. \n- It\u2019s Thursday, but it\u2019s been a reeeeaaally long week and Thursday is almost Friday, so why not start the weekend early? You deserve it. \n- It\u2019s Friday, and you\u2019ve been looking forward to a drink all week. You\u2019ve been so good! Since you\u2019ve abstained all week, it\u2019s okay if you drink more than a few. Which turns into 6 or 7. You\u2019re hungover on Saturday. \n\nIf any of these things start happening with any regularity, moderation may not be right for you. Best of luck to you both and I hope that it is!", "comment": "I\u2019m not sure what the attitude towards moderation is in this sub? It seems for most that post here it isn\u2019t an option. You have to go all or nothing. That may be true for us as well, maybe this is just a stage of the process we\u2019re in. Not sure but not going to focus on that too much for now. \n\nMy wife and I have been married for just 3 years.  We were both married before. I\u2019m 43, she\u2019s 33. We have a total of six kids ranging in age from 7 to 26. We both work good jobs and make a good living in the healthcare field. Not sure all that matters but just giving some background.\n\nWe both agree we drink too much, and for no good reason. We have long days so we both enjoy spending our evenings watching football or a Netflix show (Currently finishing up Last Kingdom!). We\u2019ve gotten into the bad habit of drinking the entire time we\u2019re sitting there. This usually means 1-2 bottles of wine or wine plus some bourbon. We end up going to bed drunk and waking up the next day feeling like crap. \n\nMy wife is better at being able to have just a glass or two, but not me. If we drink I\u2019m going to keep drinking until we go to bed. \n\nWe did this once again last Sunday. We watched football all day, had family over for dinner, and watched a movie that night. Drinking the entire time. The next day we both felt like crap, struggled to get things done all day at work, and couldn\u2019t workout (ironically we\u2019re avid CrossFitters)\n\nSo we talked that day and agreed to make a genuine effort to cut back. The truth is we don\u2019t want to eliminate alcohol from our lives. We enjoy going out or having wine with a nice meal. But we want to eliminate stupid pointless drinking while we\u2019re just sitting around watching TV. \n\nSo far we made it 4 days and it feels great! Sleeping better. Still enjoying our nights together. And having some great intimacy. \n\nWe\u2019ve tried cutting back before, but something about these 4 days felt different. We were so focused on how good we want to feel in the morning. We even finally did \u201cMurph\u201d a rather significant benchmark workout in the CrossFit community. It\u2019s often done on Memorial Day or holidays and consequently we\u2019ve never done it in our 4 years doing CrossFit. Felt awesome. \n\nI\u2019m quite certain we will have some drinks tonight or Sunday. But have the full intention of:\n\n1. Drinking less when we do\n2. Eliminating pointless weeknight drinking\n\nI would love to know what you all think. Thanks for listening!", "post_id": "dndjas", "comment_id": "f5a488q"}, {"question": "I'm sorry you're in such a struggle right now.  There's a mental health text line which may be of help to you until you can get off the waiting list for a therapist.\n\n[https://www.crisistextline.org/](https://www.crisistextline.org/).  \n\nIf you absolutely need to speak with someone in person, most spiritual leaders will accept appointments to listen to the problems of the members of their spiritual community.  If you're not part of a faith community, they will sometimes meet with people outside of the community so it's worth making a couple of phone calls mid-week to see if there's someone who will meet with you.  Also, if you're near a college or university they may have crisis walk-in services for non-students at their counseling center, so that's also worth a phone call.  And as a last resort, the national suicide hotline is available 24 hours a day.  People call for all sorts of reasons, not just because they're suicidal.  The volunteers are trained to assist anyone in an emotional crisis - they're not going to hang up on you just because you're not suicidal right now.  So if you need to talk to a person and aren't having luck anywhere else, you can call the hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.\n\nAs you're working through issues with shame and guilt, I highly recommend Brene Brown's books (I have no association with her, I just love her writing and research).  You can find them at many libraries and book stores and in a number of the library affiliated audiobook apps.  \n\nSince your instances of violence followed episodes of drinking, and you say about the second on that you were \"foolishly drinking\" I get the feeling that you may be thinking about limiting or abstaining from alcohol might be helpful while you're working on your mental health issues.  If I'm on the right page, I always recommend AA.  I've found the AA community to be really awesome and welcoming.  They've got groups of all sorts of age ranges and even for specific niche groups (Moms over 40, Retired Men, Veterans, Students, Bibliophiles, etc. I've seen some really cool niche groups in different places). Even if you don't identify as an alcoholic, they can be a supportive group to help you with your goals related to alcohol while you're in treatment with a therapist for your mental health issues.  \n\nWherever you find it, I hope you find some support until you can get off the wait list to actually begin therapy. Good luck!", "comment": "Been close to a year with a genuinely sweet man but I couldn't keep my symptoms in check he deserves better.\n\nI've struggled with drinking and medication side effects for a while but I got triggered going on holiday with him 2 months ago as he was also stressed he made comments about my past I lashed out and hit him. His words cut so deep but that's no excuse. \n\nThis past week I've been triggered and foolishly drank, met him in the midst of being drunk and was upset he earlier checked out another woman and I bit him later that evening. Saw him last night and he hinted he doesn't love me anymore, I totally understand I wouldn't either, I feel so guilty. I can't even see a therapist as I'm on the waiting list. This will be a lifelong struggle, I just wanted to vent my shame and guilt ", "post_id": "95lcwq", "comment_id": "e3u3is6"}, {"question": "[Chronically Capable](https://www.wearecapable.org/)", "comment": "Are there any websites that advertise remote work that encourage people with disabilities to apply or focus on that?", "post_id": "eatak9", "comment_id": "faylwuj"}, {"question": "I'm on meds.  However, I'd say 90% of my improvement has come from therapy and a support system plus lifestyle changes.  In my case, the medication is like a \"back up\".  I'm on cymbalta currently, which has been pretty mild for me.  I have a strong predisposition in my family towards mental illness, and with my own being potentially life threatening, it's unlikely that I'll ever be able to go without psychiatric care completely.  I also think kids are waaaay over-medicated, and that alternative treatments (therapy) are often undervalued in lieu of a quick fix.  Children also exhibit something called symptom bearing behavior, or can, which means they seem depressed or ill but really are reacting to things in their home or environment.  Children and mental health is a rant of mine for another time, so I'll stop before I turn pedantic.\n\nI gotta say that I'm a huge fan of counseling and therapy.  I went to mandatory therapy post-hospitalization and was all, fuck, this guy is going to be a freak.  Three years later...\n\nPardon me while I slip into dork mode, momentarily.\n\nMy therapist is like the big brother I never had.  He's given me support and has been one of the bet mentors in my life, if not the best.  We have an excellent professional relationship, and I'd probably be dead, frankly, if it wasn't for him - meds or no meds.  He inspired me to go back to school (I'm 35, and failed out originally, due to my depression).  Doing pretty good - and I start grad school next fall.  I did a lot of the work, sure.  Without a mentor I'd probably never have done any of it, though.\n\n</dork>\n\nEven with counseling, I have a lot of work and tedium in managing things.  However, what counseling and behavior/habit change have done for me, medication never could (or would).  I am also a secular Buddhist, I study the Rinzai school of Zen, and find the practice of meditation and mindfulness to be invaluable.  \n\nTherapy isn't just talking.  It's a lot of work.  It's exhausting, and full of challenging yourself and other crap that is difficult, scary, and intimidating.  I have found it worthwhile.  The cutting of mental health benefits paired with the rising of drug subsidies and advertising mean that counseling and psychotherapy often takes a back burner.  Drugs are cheaper, and (in the US anyway), people often don't have benefits that cover therapy even though for most people it's a more effective treatment that has a better prognosis.  Also consider that drug companies pay most of their profits into advertising, and that most doctors are heavily catered to by drug reps who bring them food, meals, gifts, etc...  again, another pedantic rant of mine for another time.\n\nAaaaanyway, I guess I'm really saying that yes, it is potentially possible to feel better without medication.  If your illness is severe enough you may still require medication at some point, temporarily or permanently.  It's hard to say either way without clinical history and observation, though.  I would humbly argue that therapy would help most people who are medicated too.  Of course, I am biased.", "comment": "I've got nothing against informed adults making the personal decision to try meds to combat their depression. If it's the only thing that works for you, please keep doing what you're doing and taking what you're taking. \n\nThat said, I was not properly informed or even an adult when I was put on medication. I was a depressed and confused kid who couldn't advocate for himself and would take one harmful drug after another that the doctor said would help with the hope that the suffering they caused would one day well be worth going through once the right one was found. It never was and I doubt there is one (at least for me). \n\nI have a feeling I've been going and thinking about this the wrong way. That I've put too much emphasis on feeling like a hopeless chronically mentally ill person whose only hope of a good life is being on drugs that lessen the quality of my life for the rest of my life instead of changing my negative self-defeating thinking, looking at the causes of my depression, and finding support from therapy and family. [I think this video sums up how I feel.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBUqPOP5BEs)\n\nIt's been 6 years and they've only made my depression worse (I got drug induced akathisia so bad I cut my wrists and on the drive to the hospital I attempted to jump out of the car, thank god my mom was there to stop me. Only time I've tried to kill myself and it was caused by something that was supposed to help.) and gave me unbearable side effects (100 pounds of weight gain that I managed to lose after stopping that particular medication and majorly decreased cognitive ability that forced me to drop out of school and is basically ruining any sort of progress in my life atm. I can't even read a book anymore!). \n\nAll that temporary pain I can tolerate, but the worst part is what I deal with everyday of my life. The indifference towards life and the emotional numbness that they make me feel is killing me. I'm not depressed but I'm not happy either, I'm detached from the world and the people in it and always in the same constant mood. I feel like a zombie, I feel like my humanity is slowly fading away. I am not the person I was before I started taking them. This is why I'm starting to safely, with the help of my doctor, ween myself off my meds.\n\nI was wondering if I was alone in my belief that the meds are not for everybody and that **it is** possible to feel better with the right support and changes to lifestyle/thinking? Or am I simply in denial and grasping at straws? What have you who do not take medication done to get over your depression? ", "post_id": "ye0en", "comment_id": "c5uwqk8"}, {"question": "Consider doing an assessment at your closest batterers intervention program. They also do stalking behavior, or could refer you to a place you\u2019d need. ", "comment": "Hi. I'm a stalker, and I don't want to be. \n\nAre there any resources targeted toward men who do this but don't want to? Something that isn't the typical \"tough love / scare tactic\" stuff.\n\nIt's pretty bad and it isn't getting better. \n\nedit: please do not recommend therapy or try to sell me on e-therapists or assume that there are competent affordable therapist in my area. thank you. no therapy recommendations.", "post_id": "7clo0e", "comment_id": "dpr6jph"}, {"question": "I passed my placement on Monday. This is the second time I've done it and it took me a year but now I'm done!\n\nI didn't get into a fight with my mother in law when she visited for a week. \n\n", "comment": "\n# Let's Celebrate Our Victories\n\nADHD is a daily challenge. Sometimes it's hard to remember the positive and it can feel like things are rarely good. **We win every single day.**  We challenge you to write down your wins and see if you feel better looking at the list later in the week. Don\u2019t worry if you miss a day or two or three! Do what you can. Even writing them down one day is a win.\n\n---\n\n> One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.  \n> \u2014 *Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth*\n\n\n---\n\n**Examples from previous weeks:**\n\n* Abstaining from binge drinking for 11 days. Keep it up!\n\n* Worked to overcome their traumatic brain injury and had an awesome week.\n\n* I successfully adulted today.\n\n* I just got through 2 weeks of studying and finals and I did pretty good!\n\n* This weekend I was diagnosed with ADHD, and people keep telling me they're sorry -- but I'm ecstatic! \n\n* I just finished my bachelors degree.\n\n---\n\n#####  We love you, /r/adhd! BE PROUD and celebrate with each other! \u2014 your community managers (and /u/blynng)\n\n**Don't forget to join our other exciting weekly threads on [Fridays](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/search?q=flair%3A%27ff%27&sort=new&restrict_sr=on) and [Sundays](http://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/search?q=flair%3A%27kss%27&sort=new&restrict_sr=on)!**\n", "post_id": "b3b7q0", "comment_id": "ej13xdv"}, {"question": "This is extremely common.  In most agencies in the city I work, if you wanted to get psychiatric care, you'd also have to see a therapist in conjunction.  The majority of studies show that the best treatment is a combination of meds and therapy together.  \n\n\nOver time, your psychiatrist probably won't spend much time talking to you about your issues.  They'll just want to know how the meds are impacting you, make sure there aren't any bad side effects, and see if they need to adjust.  Meanwhile, your  therapist will continue talking you through your issues helping you process and work towards your goals.  \n\n\nIt's always helpful to talk about all of your services with your therapist and ideally, sign a release so they can speak and share information with your psychiatrist.  That way, all of you can work together as a solid team to make sure you're getting the best care possible.  \n\n[-The WebShrink](http://thewebshrink.com/depression-or-recoverys-momentum/)", "comment": "I've been seeing a psychologist for a little while now for my anxiety... I've decided to also see a psychiatrist on my own accord. Should I tell my psychologist? Should I keep going to my therapy sessions? What is the etiquette with this sort of situation?", "post_id": "99fasf", "comment_id": "e4naf4y"}, {"question": "Yeah, having such a focus on report cards suggests this doctor maybe doesn\u2019t know a ton about ADHD and may subscribe to the misconception that it\u2019s just an academic disorder. Academic history IS important in assessing for ADHD but it\u2019s just one piece of the puzzle.", "comment": "I was referred to a psychiatrist 1 year ago and haven't seen her since because she asked me for school report cards but I didn't have any. I've tried going to my high school and ask a report card from grade 7-12 but they don't have the files anymore. Clearly i don't know what to do and always feeling dumb with ADHD. I think it is time to see her and go back to school", "post_id": "abyl2j", "comment_id": "ed3zngk"}, {"question": "No need to tell.", "comment": "This is a long post Bc I want to give context. My girlfriend and I have been together over just over 3 years, 2 of which have been long distance (we go to different schools). This friend is someone I met here when she started dating another one of my friends. She's single now. \n\nI should also mention she has done this to me once before. \n\nWe were at a party together after pretty heavy drinking all day. It was late at night in an apartment within walking distance of my own place. She had been encouraging me to drink more all day (she often does this, but I thought it was harmless) until the point where I was stumbling and having trouble remembering--not totally black out--just \"browning out\". We were outside on the balcony when she told me that if I wasn't dating my girlfriend she would've dated me in heartbeat. She had been drinking too and then quickly kissed me. I was shocked and didn't know what to say, so I told her I had to go to the bathroom and throw up (Bc I really did feel like I was going to throw up). \n\nI don't remember how I got to the bathroom but the next thing I remember is sitting on the bathroom floor with my back to the door and there she was. And she started kissing me again. Not for too long, maybe 15 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. After that I stared trying to throw up, and that's where our friends found us, and my roommate eventually took me home, which I also don't remember. \n\nI feel such unimaginable shame, unlike anything I've ever felt before. I feel stupid for trusting this girl again after she did pretty much the exact same thing last semester while I was lying on the floor and blackout. I feel ridiculously guilty Bc I don't know how to tell my girlfriend. I told her about the last time, and we nearly broke up Bc of the trust issues it caused. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I constantly feel like I'm going to throw up. \n\nSince this incident, I have cut all connections with this girl and I have no intention of speaking to her in the future. I've also given up liquor indefinitely. Any advice is appreciated. I know I have to tell her eventually. She deserves the truth and I deserve whatever consequence comes to me. I just want to hurt her as little as possible. Thanks for reading. \n\ntl;dr I was kissed by a now ex-friend while intoxicated and I don't know what to tell my girlfriend now \n\nUPDATE: I told her just now. Thanks for the advice", "post_id": "67gwy4", "comment_id": "dgq9ifv"}, {"question": "Good stuff. It\u2019s crazy how we think losing a job or something similar will be the end of it all for us, and it winds up being the best thing in the long run. All the worry, stress and depression spent on it, only to have things work out. Such wasted emotion. Sometimes it can seem so dark and hopeless, but this shows when we hang on and don\u2019t give up, more often than not we will be okay eventually. I have done the same, so I know exactly how that is! This is a good reminder and lesson!!!", "comment": "Losing my job 3 1/2 months ago ruined me. It sent me into a deep dark depression after detox and I ended up drinking more than ever. Sucked it up and went back to detox. Had several more weeks of being in a deep dark hole, but last week I put some effort in and fixed my resume. Yesterday I sent out my resume to about 6 places, 3 places called me to schedule an interview, I went to the first one this morning and landed the job! I\u2019m so happy. I can\u2019t wait to feel worth while again, and get out of my little cave I call my home. Thank you so much for this sub and the people apart of it. Couldn\u2019t have done it with out you.", "post_id": "cqxajk", "comment_id": "ex0lkfi"}, {"question": "I know how you feel.  I have a four year psych degree, which is pointless.  All I can get are stupid administrative jobs that pay very little.  I literally have nothing to do at my job.  I sit here and browse the Internet from 8:30-4:30 every day, and then I sit in traffic for 45 minutes on my way home.  It's better than working retail or waitressing, but sometimes my anxiety and depression get so bad from just sitting here.  Why is it so easy for some people to find great jobs that they actually enjoy?", "comment": "Goddamit.\n\nNot looking for advice or anything, just need to fucking vent because the dread and panic have become like a tsunami, overwhelming me to the point I can barely function anymore.\n\nI hate being employed. Hate, not dislike, not mind, hate.\n\nI hate being in a position where I have to deal with hormonal bosses even when I do everything right (and by right I mean their stupid way), just because they have nothing better to do on a weekend and fill their lives with micro-managing their \"team\".\n\nI hate being stupid when I was younger and choosing a field of studies in which I basically cannot work. I hate not having any interesting options just because I was an idiot when I was 18.\n\nI hate being smarter than my superiors but not being allowed to apply my brains because they want shit done their way, even when the alternative is a proven better option.\n\nI hate having to give 9 hours of my day to something that doesn't fucking matter.\n\nI hate not being able to LIVE the way I want to LIVE, just because I HAVE to make money. I HAVE TO.\n\nI hate that anyone with a \"degree\" can call themselves my boss and make me do things their way, no matter how inefficient or redundant.\n\nI hate that stupid people are allowed to decide how my day goes, what I should do, how I should think, how my time is spent, and how much I'm allowed to ask in return.\n\nI hate everything about being employed, I have zero prospects regarding how I can become self-employed, and I'm trapped in a cycle of getting a job because I have to make money, convincing myself it's not so bad, getting more and more disillusioned and depressed, getting tired of being depressed because of something as insignificant as a job, quitting that stupid job for something better, starting that new job, finding myself in the same fucking position all over again, and back to square one.\n\n\nI fucking hate it. I'd rather die than live this way but I don't want to fucking die, I want to fucking LIVE. This is not living.", "post_id": "6p7cov", "comment_id": "dkng23b"}, {"question": "Zoloft and Abilify are both good meds... for the right problems. They may not be the right meds for you, particularly since they are not for ADHD specifically (Zoloft is an SSRI antidepressant and Abilify is an atypical antipsychotic often prescribed for purposes of mood stabilization and is sometimes used in treatment of ADHD). Have you talked to your doctor about meds specifically for ADHD? There are non-stimulant options available if that\u2019s a concern for you. ", "comment": "So I was recently diagnosed at 20 years old with ADHD and a bunch of other things. I got put on Zoloft about 2 months ago and Abilify 2 weeks ago. I thought I was doing much better when it came to being more social with people and managing my symptoms when it comes to ADHD. I\u2019m a hockey player and I wasn\u2019t really able to play when I first started Zoloft while getting used to it but I was quickly able to get back into things, until today.\n\nMy coach decide to a check to make sure we have everything we need daily, warned us in advance and gave us a list of things he\u2019ll be checking for and if we don\u2019t have everything, we\u2019ll get sent home. I was so focused on getting everything that I forgot my binder, which has all of our plays and team culture written in, the most important thing. So of course I got sent home from practice.\n\nI\u2019m tired of forgetting things all of the time and tired of thinking I\u2019m doing better when in the end I\u2019m just not. How do i not feel like a total failure of a person? Why of all 30 people on this team it has to be me, a third year veteran who should be able to do these simple things? \n\n", "post_id": "aioj0u", "comment_id": "eep8xyh"}, {"question": "Cognitive behavioral therapy can work very well for both phobias and social anxiety. This, combined with medication, can he very effective. Please seek a CBT specialist therapist. You can get a lot out of 8-12 sessions. Also, there are online support groups and forums for emetephobes", "comment": "I've started suffering from social anxiety and anxiety and general during my teens but I hadn't that much of a problem with it. It was pretty much liveable. \n\nThen, I was on the verge of starting university when suddenly I got food poisoning. At the same time, I learned that i did not like this experience and was traumatized by it. It took almost two entire years of stress, malnutrition and general anxiety before I discovered that emetophobia was a thing.\n\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emetophobia\n\nI discovered that I have it coupled with anxiety. Currently on venlafaxin, it helps a lot even though it's a really low dose. But now, i'm feeling kinda stressed about leaving the family nest and going to live by myself.\n\nCan r/socialanxiety help me out with tips and or advice?\n\n\nTl;dr: was about to go to uni, vomited, found out about emetophobia, fear of leaving family home at 23 years old.", "post_id": "qohw0", "comment_id": "c3zb4jg"}, {"question": "Ten days is like an eternity at the beginning; congrats on getting so far already! \n\nHaving support from the people you live with is imperative I think, so hopefully it will make a big difference with your wife knowing and being on board.\n\nYou got this. I won\u2019t drink with you today!", "comment": "It may not seem like much but I am proud.  I've done this stretch before but it is better this time.   My wife now knows that I was secretly drinking and secretly trying to get sober.   Her knowing and understanding has made a big difference.  I also enrolled in outpatient therapy, which is also helping.   I'm making a plan now, when I am strong, for when I get weak.   I've seen and heard people ask \"What are you going to do differently this time?\" and I now realize it's important do things differently.   I will not be drinking with you today!", "post_id": "73767c", "comment_id": "dno4u52"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of two things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal.", "comment": "I'm just pretty confused at the moment. 8 years and we never fought once, have always been completely honest with each other about everything (the reason why we never fought) and really happy. Was planning to propose this year.\n\nLast weekend I went to visit my parents (last minute thing, Mum is sick) and she met up with some friends at the pub and ended fooling around with some guy while I was gone. We've always been really trusting, I don't care who she hangs out with as long as she is safe. I never thought this would happen though. Couple days after I got back she told me. Shit hurts man. \n\nWe talked about it the next couple of nights after work, her reasoning is piss poor. She gave in to temptation, a minute of weakness. I asked her what I wanted to know and told her I need space, at least a week or two. \n\nDuring that time I've done a lot of thinking. I could forgive her, I don't see myself with anyone else, I love her.  We had a perfect thing going for 8 years. I don't know if I can get over what she did though, and I feel like it would ultimately kill the relationship. I don't want it to slowly die out but the chance might be worth it.\n\nKinda just need to talk this shit out with someone but my pride is too hurt to talk to irl friends. Any advice?", "post_id": "5vigai", "comment_id": "de2c7b5"}, {"question": "If you're just starting with a new therapist it's probably a good thing that you haven't gotten too deep too soon.  If you don't have a sense that you can really trust them yet and have a good relationship, sometimes going too fast too soon can cause more damage than it helps.  \n\n\nIf your therapist is a good one, they won't pressure you to talk about the difficult things before you're ready.  The only thing is, that puts the responsibility on you.  When you do feel ready, you have to be the one to initiate it.  \n\n\nI suggest making some sort of agenda for yourself and writing it down prior to going into sessions.  Write down 2-3 key things that you'd like to discuss during the session.  Write down what you're hoping to get out of the session regarding the topics, and how you hope the therapist can help you with it.  You might not get to each/every topic, but at least you won't feel like you spent the entire time doing a catch up on surface topics from the last week.  \n\n\nHope this helps.  Best of luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/depression-or-recoverys-momentum/)", "comment": "So the thing is, I used to go to therapy a year ago for 2 years and just started with a new therapist last week. What I noticed is that I get off topic and never talk about what us actually nothing me. Like I want to talk to her about my suicidal thoughts and just depressive episodes and yet I end up talking about things that are not fully related. Then next thing I know, the session is over. Is there anyway to not do this? And is anyone the same?", "post_id": "99yxq7", "comment_id": "e4rpmbc"}, {"question": "Samplymouth88 is correct.  Most people only put up a super happy perfect life facade on social media.  It can be easy to forget this and compare your life (with its normal ups and downs just like their real life) to the facades you see and think you're failing.  I think it's incredibly healthy to cut yourself off or take breaks from social media, so long as you're maintaining your connections to your support systems in real life.  You have to make sure you're getting out of the house and spending enjoyable time with friends.", "comment": "I've just deleted and deactivated all my social medias and taken everyone off of my Snapchat. I just get too vulnerable and start to feel like a piece of shit compared to other people's lives. Has this worked for anyone? Taking a hiatus?", "post_id": "6ri5uy", "comment_id": "dl5l69c"}, {"question": "Ultimately, the best treatment depends on the underlying cause and its severity. There's no test to tell us which will be effective for individuals, but most medical treatments are proven to be better than placebo. Talking therapies have variable evidence, but are typically more useful in mild/moderate severity illness. For the most severe cases, ECT is immensely effective.\n\nPurely on gut feeling, I think you'd do best with self-help measures, which I guess is a good thing.", "comment": "Simple as the title really. I just want to be able to believe in myself and stop being so ashamed of who I am and what I am doing with my life. I feel motivated to achieve and achieve but I never feel like it is enough especially in some areas of my life especially socially. ", "post_id": "4x94t7", "comment_id": "d6dnopc"}, {"question": "Drugs can do that. Stop doing drugs. If you stop drugs and the voices continue after a month then psychiatric medicine might be the only way to make them go away and you need to go to a doctor. Fwiw recreational drugs like Marijuana can trigger psychosis in those who are predispositioned.", "comment": "So for the past two weeks i have been hearing voices call my name. its not multiple voices at the same time its just once at a time every so often but the voices are always different. They seem to be yelling and whispering at the same time it feels so real, i was just sitting class and someone called my name i turned around then realised that i've never heard that voice before its starting to freak me out and i just want to know what i should do. I really don't want to see a doctor or tell anyone.\n\nif it helps\n\n.im 15\n\n.do quite alot of drugs mainly pills and that shit\n\n.live in the uk\n\n.im white\n\n.weigh around 65kg\n\n.male\n\n​\n\nthanks", "post_id": "akpas8", "comment_id": "ef6rvef"}, {"question": "Well - why is he terrified of doctors? ", "comment": "Husband:\n\n-Age: 37\n\n-Height: 6'1\n\n-Weight: 250-265\n\n-Race: Caucasian \n\n-Location: Boston, USA\n\n-Current medication: None\n\n-Complaint: Sore back (hip area)\n\nMy husband hasn't been to the doctor in years but recently hurt is back helping a friend move a dresser up 3 stories. The pain is in his lower back/left and seems to be more of an irritant than anything. \n\nMy bigger problem is he refuses to see a physician. I need strategies dealing with someone who has a phobia of doctors and needles. He hasn't seen a physician in a while. My main question is if I can get him to go, I'll need to reassure him.\n\n- What sort of things would be included in a physical exam of a 37 year old male? \n- Any strategies for dealing with someone who is terrified of doctors (but isn't afraid of multiple combat tours)? \n\nSorry for the inconvenience question, but I'm really out of ideas here. \n\nThanks\n\nMeredith \n", "post_id": "9kt7i6", "comment_id": "e71mcb5"}, {"question": "You can always ask your GP. Many are probably comfortable with treating acne; it's a very common complaint. Your GP might refer you to a dermatologist if your acne is particularly bad or if standard first-line treatments aren't effective.", "comment": "I just curious if family docs commonly give meds/ treatments for acne or if I should see a dermatologist. I've never gotten my medical treatment before so idk what it's like\n\n19 female 125lbs", "post_id": "e84r2e", "comment_id": "fa97si7"}, {"question": "respect the space he asks for. if that includes checking in, do so. decide how patient you can be with waiting, then move on", "comment": "So, I've (21) been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (26) for a year and 6 months. I live in London and he's in Montreal. We met through mutual friends and it was like 'love at first sight.' Our relationship started from distance but was always good. He's in Montreal now passing his bar exam for law. And I am a second year student in London. Lately, for the past month or so he's been very distant. We barely talk and when we are on the phone there's nothing to talk about. I feel he doesn't want to talk anymore. He became very cold. \n\nHe basically has three stages of the bar exams. He passed one exam easily February and it disappointed him. He thought it was very hard and he might not pass. So when I ask him what's wrong he tell me it's the exam. He hasn't been sleeping properly lately because at night he thinks a lot about his future and what if he fails. \n\nI just feel that we still aren't close enough. He's so cold and never talks about what's going on with him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be annoying and needy at the wrong time. I love him so much but I am so confused with what to do. It's the first time I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes I say maybe I should give him a break and tell him focus on ur studies I'll be here when ur done. But I'm also selfish, what if he leaves me for good?  \n\nWhen we first started dating he told me, \"my first priority is my education and I don't want you to do anything that will interfere in it.\"  I completely respect them, it made me fall in love with him more because he has an aim and he's ambitious which is very manly. \n\nI confronted him few times and he always tells me I'm busy studying, and it's true he's studying all the time. But I am also sure that he can take five minutes to call and just ask... \n\nSometimes I feel that I am just overthinking things that I'm imagining. \n\nShould I just give him his space and not talk to him for now? Or should I talk about it? What should I do?", "post_id": "5vijhi", "comment_id": "de2c4jg"}, {"question": "Rare doesn't mean impossible, especially if you've been having sex without any other birth control. If you've had a period, you could easily be ovulating as well, so you could have gotten pregnant. It's at least worth a home pregnancy test.", "comment": "I am 26 yo f, 57kg, 165cm fall. I have an 11wo son who I am breast feeding. I got my first period 6 wks postpartum exactly. I have always had a very regular cycle. I am now 5 days late, experienced some painful cramping in the early hours of the morning 3 nights ago but nothing came. Usually when I have cramping that means I\u2019m about to get my period within the next hour. I had headaches and fatigue about a week ago. But I am taking ethymicin from a rash from pregnancy. The headaches still come sometimes. I remember this was my first symptom when I was pregnant, I went and got my eyes tested because I thought my glasses needed to be adjusted. But I\u2019ve been told how rare it is to fall pregnant while breastfeeding?", "post_id": "928scl", "comment_id": "e33yuy1"}, {"question": "Ask her on a date.  Figure out what the two of you have in common, tell her you were planning on doing _______ sometime soon and you'd love if she'd join you.  Get her number or contact so you can let her know when you have solid plans.  ", "comment": "I live with a few of my friends, who have friends from their student org (girls) as neighbors. I am pretty attracted to one of the girls, and we seem to get along well. However, she\u2019s been coming to the house only when at least of my friends is at home. That being said, I actually don\u2019t know her that well but I want to get to know her better. How do I move from here?", "post_id": "9rin70", "comment_id": "e8hq98n"}, {"question": "Absolutely normal IMO. School can be really stressful especially after undergrad. It\u2019s a whole new level of things. The lack of sleep, poor eating habits, stress etc that come with student life are hell on your body and mental state. Nothing abnormal about it, it\u2019s just sadly part of academia. Hang in there and go seek out a good therapist if you feel the need. :)\n\nEdit: it\u2019s also really common for schools to have a mental health clinic that is free or low cost for students.", "comment": "I am in a 1 year accelerated post bacc medical program. We have an exam every friday, 1-2 exams on monday a month. We meet to discuss cases (that don't really help the students learn the material IMO) We have work for a managerial class as well as must study for another class that ties the information we are learning together. I've reached out to teachers when I struggling (upon their own advice) just to get wishy washy advice/anwers/belittled/brushed off etc.\n\nI have gotten to the point where I'm up all day worrying and studying yet at night, I can't sleep. I take 3 melatonin to get to sleep which I've never had a problem with before. My skin is bumpy and filled with lines and bags under my eyes. At least 5 of the students out of 12 in my program are reaching out to get mental help.\n\nI understand I signed up for this program but myself and many of my classmates did not expect for this to be as intense as it has. Many of my classmates have turned to therapy/psychotropic drugs whenever they can to keep from taking drastic measures upon themselves due to the rigor of this program.\n\nIs this normal?", "post_id": "fgolkw", "comment_id": "fk6mtge"}, {"question": "make sure she's getting help for depression.\nif you take a break, make sure to define the ground rules;  i recommend not dating others, and having a plan about contact with each other.", "comment": "Long story short, a couple weeks ago my fiance came out of the blue and decided that she wants to break up/take a break from our relationship due to little/no attraction and wanting to be alone. I have a previous post (url at bottom) that explains more in detail.\n\nShe has been suffering from depression and is most likely bipolar (she judt want to see a counselor). Part of me thinks that this is a big reason why she has little to no attraction for me. Here are my reasons why I think this.\n\nFirst off she would always compliment me, always says im handsome, cute, and warm, etc... Secondly she always wants to do everything with me wether it be going shopping with her or simple go to the store to grab something real quick. Thirdly, she has been talking about kids non stop for the past year, mind you we planned on having them after we are married this up coming fall.\n\nOf course I want to think that it is the depression that is causing this but I know a part of it is the truth. I mean we have been together over 7 years so some of the attraction is going to die. I even admit that I feel the same way.\n\nThe past couple days have gotten a little better. She asked me if I wanted anything from the store a couple days ago, we ate dinner together yesterday, we went grocery shopping today, had dinner together, and i made a small bon fire in the back yard for us to sit next to.\n\nHowever, she wont initiate conversation, her responses are small, and she just does things on her own like she used to tell me she was going to sleep and now she just goes to sleep. We havnt held each other, cuddled, kissed, even hugged in the past 2 weeks.\n\nI was pretty fucked up about it last week but I have gotten slightly better with handling it. I have been giving her the space she has asked for. Its been really rough on me.\n\nI finally txted her mom and told her what is going on and even her mother thinks that she is acting VERY strange, not like herself. I invited her over tomorrow so the two of them can talk. Normally she is pretty close with her mom but her mom keeps texting her to talk with her but she never responds.\n\nAt this point im not sure what else I can do. Shes living with me so no contact is very hard to deal with. Ive been doing the best I can with no contact. I just wish shit went back to normal :(\n\nAny advice on wtf I should do? I dont want to leave but obviously I cant control her decisions. I feel like the problem here is major depression but im not certain that its the only issue. Im not going to give up on her. I just hope she doesnt give up on me.\n\nAlso I would like to note that she still has the picture of us and our relationship status still set on facebook, which she is on all day long so im not sure what to make of that. She would have changed it by now if she was certain she wanted to.\n\nLink to my previous post:\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/5tprwl/7_year_relationship_24f_fiance_thinks_she_wants/ddoiez2/?context=3\n\nEdit 1: Next day morning: She asked if I wanted to go to this boxing place with her so I am going with her (only because she asked me). i just dont understand. Is she coming around or is it just me?", "post_id": "5uydvb", "comment_id": "ddxseev"}, {"question": "As someone with adhd, Intensity is one way to activate me to be able to focus and concentrate. So it makes sense ", "comment": "So apparently around 25% of people with BPD also have ADHD...\n\nWhat could account for this other than ADHD predisposing people to developing these kinds of disorders because of increased sensitivity or something? And since ADHD is highly genetic, children with ADHD are more likely to have parents with ADHD who are therefore more likely to well not be very good parents to say the least... \n\ne.g. My dad displays many ADHD symptoms and had a lot of issues growing up (and his suspected ADHD may have predisposed him to developing these issues), which negatively affected my upbringing... I was also just surrounded by a lot of violent behaviour growing up, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of those perpetrators of violence also suffered from something like ADHD... \n\nI was surrounded by quite a bit of destructive alcoholism and alcoholism is statistically higher among those with ADHD...\n\nso I don't know...\n\nwhy do you think that ADHD and BPD are highly comorbid? ", "post_id": "7a2stw", "comment_id": "dp6ou75"}, {"question": "I can tell you that I've often felt the same way, although I'd say in comparison, you're probably putting a lot of stress on yourself at a younger age than I did.  \n\n\nKeep this thought in mind.  Your brain isn't even fully formed until you're in your early-mid 20's.  Is it reasonable to expect that you meet some of these major life goals shortly after your brain just finished fully forming?  \n\n\nI felt very similar in the search the love, knowing exactly what I wanted to do, feeling like I should be financially secure (own a house, own a car, etc.)\n\n\nI'm almost 33.  Married for a little over 2 years now.  When it comes to love, looking back, had I pressured myself to \"find love\" and get married in my early 20's, it would have been one of the worst decisions I would have ever made and by this point would have surely either ended up divorced or living miserably.  \n\n\nI'd say the 20's are your years to experiment.  Figure out who you are, try new hobbies, travel some, date a lot of people to figure out what you want/need in a partner.  Once you've met so many of these goals, you don't have the time, energy, or aren't able to do many of these things after, but no matter how old, you can do them before.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "cn74pu", "comment_id": "ew89gzg"}, {"question": "get her professional help", "comment": "I just moved home after living across the country for better than a decade (moved away at 17 because of a shitty home life, ironically enough). Both my sisters are home from studying at their respective universities. My littlest one has been more reserved than she usually is, and after inquiring about this to my mom, my mom revealed that she'd been raped 3 months ago by some kid at school.\n\nIt sounds like my sister was unaware for the most part of the circumstances because she passed out at a party (she does drink, but I've never seen her blackout drunk before so I don't know if drugs were involved) and didn't remember anything the next morning. A friend who was there mentioned to her six weeks later (SIX WEEKS LATER, who the hell is this \"friend?\") that she was raped while she was passed out by someone my sister knew. My mom either doesn't know or won't tell me anything beyond that - not if there were more details, not who the fucker was, nothing.\n\nWhen I found out, I was so angry I was shaking. I could have thrown up, exploded at my mom, or killed this fucker all equally easily. I asked my mom what was done. Her response was that it was my sister's choice to go to the police, go to the doctor, or take any action . . . and when I asked again who this person was, she either couldn't or wouldn't tell me.\n\nWhat I'm fairly sure of is that no rape kit was performed, due to the time between her finding out and the event itself (I don't know if this is true or she was ashamed and frightened and didn't want to think about it). She was on birth control so pregnancy is unlikely, which is small comfort. She's also seen a doctor a few times, so I hope she's being tested for STDs (my fear is HIV or hepatitis, both take a while to show up). She won't respond to questions about it according to my mom and adamantly states she isn't ready to talk about it and doesn't want it brought up.\n\nI have never been in a situation where a loved one has been violated this way; it transcends any pain I could feel for myself. I'm still shaking and holding back tears; every time I've seen my sister this morning I've had to hug her hard and resist grabbing her shoulders and demanding to know where this little fucker is so I can go kick the living breathing Christ out of him. The anger and heartbreak I feel is outlandishly huge.\n\nI was sexually assaulted by my former (very verbally abusive, addict) stepfather when I was in my early to mid teens and due to the nature of my mom's partiality towards her husband always being in the right and us kids in the wrong, and the knowledge that she wouldn't believe me, I kept it to myself and ended up going through many major issues later in life, including suicidal tendencies, hyper- and hyposexuality and serious depression. When my mom finally found out this past year (I got drunk and told her via email), she absolutely didn't respond to it at all. She didn't respond for a while, then changed the subject and never addressed it. I was and am baffled and reverted back to absolutely not bringing it up and feeling completely ashamed of it (and since I've been here she hasn't even hinted at it). It's like she deliberately forgot. I found out she asked my ex, the only other person who knew, if I was lying much later, and he verified that not only was I telling the truth, but he'd witnessed some verbal and physical abuse himself. There was never any question about \"what happened,\" or \"are you okay,\" or even \"were you hurt\" . . . weirdest of all, absolutely NO anger or accountability directed towards my ex stepdad at all, and I'm willing to bet that she'll never bring it up to him and he'll have gotten away with it. It is a truly shitty feeling, and I'm terrified that the way things went down in reality with my sister was more along the lines of what I experienced the past 13 or 14 years culminating with the last few months and the knowledge that she absolutely didn't care and held no animosity towards the perpetrator - indeed, even thought I was lying, just as I feared as a teenager. I cannot, I CANNOT live with the idea that my sister, who is the gentlest, sweetest and funniest lighthearted girl ever, is going to go through the same bullshit I did because a major trauma wasn't handled properly and was compounded by my mom.\n\nI feel that I should give some background on my mom so that my concern over this situation will make a little more sense. I love her very much and she has many good qualities, and she loves us all fiercely in her own way, but she has some problems that have persisted throughout our childhood. Namely, her first concern has always been herself, followed closely by the men in her life. Being attractive, being in a relationship and being a hypersexualized female that attracts male attention has always been primary for her, and it rubbed off on all three of us, mostly my youngest sister and I. Both of us have a tendency to dress a certain way, take great pains to maintain our attractiveness and our male suitors (often at the expense of others we care for) and thrive on physically based compliments, which I know now as I get older is directly related to my mom and unhealthy to focus on over everything else. Furthermore, she divorced my dad when I was 9, my other sister was 4 and my youngest was scarcely born; she moved us across the country, effectively ending our relationship with him, and none of us, especially my youngest sister, have ever been able to manage a decent relationship with our dad because of the distance and the simple fact that we never had a chance to really know him after we moved. Before the divorce was finalized, my mom had started seeing a much younger guy (he was 21 at the time) and made all three of us promise not to tell our dad. The guy became our stepdad after a very traumatic dating period during which we were seeing our mom being physically affectionate with a man who wasn't our dad for the first time, without a word of explanation and with the constant reassurance by her that they were still married and we'd be going back home soon. She would leave for days on trips with him, went to other states and left us with relatives, became totally engrossed in shunting us to the side so she could spend time with this guy. He expressed intense dislike for us all quickly, refused to tell us he loved us at all during their 14 year marriage unless forced, and told my mom he \"wanted kids\" so she got pregnant with my two beloved twin brothers (we girls have been hopelessly in love with them from the first, they're the only good thing to come from that situation and I wouldn't give them up for anything). Our stepdad was outwardly verbally abusive from the first, often in front of my mom who ignored it, chided him gently as if it were a joke, and sharply reprimanded us if we bucked up and told him to leave us alone. My youngest sister was always his least favorite (he was the only father she'd ever known, making it that much worse). Those were the worst years of my life, compounded by the sexual stuff and what eventually devolved into physical abuse when my mom wasn't around, made 100% worse by my mom, our only parent, very openly siding with him and blaming us for whatever abuse he was delivering. Promptly when I was 17, immediately after graduating high school, I packed what I could and moved as far away as I could get in the continental USA. By the time I came back to visit, years later, it had come out that my stepdad was addicted to cocaine and pills, had set up a porn shrine in our garage which featured my middle sister's underwear (she was between 10 and 12 when this happened, and no, no charges were ever brought by my mom - in fact she didn't tell anyone and I found out by mistake, and I have never been able to bring myself to ask either of my sisters if more sexual abuse happened after I left because I would feel totally responsible for not having been there to protect them). They divorced and that was that. That's how our childhood was; we effectively were brought up without male influence and it hasn't helped.\n\nThe cherry on the pie this morning was when I angrily told my mom that there were bound to be other girls who are raped by the same guy that hurt my sister; her response was essentially it wasn't her problem. She mentioned that my sister shouldn't have gotten drunk and it was her own fault for the event, and this is where I lost my remaining shit because in my opinion, rape.... is NEVER, EVER... EVER... the victim's fault AT ALL. But my mom feels differently - her words, to paraphrase, were, \"well, if you're getting blackout drunk what do you expect to happen?\"\n\nI understand that blackout drunk is a bad situation for most people; however, there is a very large possibility that my sister was drugged, which would explain the blackout and the memory loss. But regardless, I don't think that a young woman who is essentially still a child should be trying to censor her own behaviors in order to not . . . what? Attract a rapist? Be partially responsible for one? This was 100% ABSOLUTELY the rapist's fault, and 0% my sister's, and this is the same mindset that comes when you hear people saying that a woman having revealing clothes invite a rape or assault and that it's partially your fault. Victim blaming, in other words. Even retyping this makes me furious. It drags up my own history and reminds me that my mom would probably have blamed me for inciting her husband's sexual advances, regardless of my age - would have probably reacted with jealousy and resentment instead of seeing what happened for what it was - a crime against my humanity and my body. What happened to my sister was a crime, a heinous crime, and nothing has been done, except for my mother decreeing - probably to my sister too - that some part of what happened to her was by her own hand. This infuriates me because I'm not even supposed to know about this, and I feel that bringing it up to her is a further violation of her privacy which she needs little at this point.\n\nHow do I proceed? Do I let her deal with it and allow her to come to me? How can I exact some justice on this fuckhead that did this for my sister?\n\nTL;DR: Sister was raped at college months ago, nothing was done by either my sister or my mom who knew, and there is victim blaming involved which I don't know how to help with without revealing that I know what happened. No idea how to proceed but feel absolutely helpless sitting around with my thumb up my ass pretending I don't want to kill the fucker that did this.", "post_id": "5kjz5g", "comment_id": "dbojbrg"}, {"question": "I think something small for the office like flowers or shared food would be very much appreciated.  The way you described your gratitude here is very appropriate.\n\nGifts typically only become a boundary issue when they are personal or expensive. Some practices (or local ethical codes) have dollar limits.", "comment": "I've been with my therapist for 6 years, after a suicide attempt, and a second one three years ago. She and her staff have been a breath of fresh air. I have BPD, and my symptoms are all but gone thanks to her.\n\nTwo months ago my therapist went on a sudden leave of absence. I was handed over to a different therapist, and found out my current one had a tumor in her pancreas. She's okay, it was removed, it's noncancerous. She came back on Monday, and I saw her. As I was in the waiting room, this woman came in, demanding that her appointment with my therapist was at 4:45. That was my appointment slot. The receptionist did everything she could to calm her, while having verbal abuse hurled at her to the point where she was near tears. I was brought in to therapy and the woman was brought into the back office to see someone and hopefully calm down. My therapist immediately APOLOGIZED to me for being gone for two months. She was sick! She had  tumor! But she was so apologetic, and so kind. Her phone rang, it was the front desk. The woman was screaming again, and the receptionist was begging for help. My therapist told her she could see her after me, but apparently that wasn't good enough. I told them I would go back out, she could have my slot and I would come in for the slot after. I went out and the receptionist was crying, apologizing to me like THEY screwed up. \n\nI realized just how much they go through, just how much they really work for their patients. Both the receptionist and my therapist did nothing but praise me (for not panicking or acting out) and apologize. I realized just how far I've come in handling stress and that feeling of being pushed aside of abandoned (two years ago I would have screamed before I volunteered to swap with someone). And...I want to do something kind for them. But I do not know if it's appropriate for a patient to get staff gifts. I was thinking home made cookies, or flowers. But is that breaking the line between a patient and a doctor (and staff) relationship? I absolutely do not want to be rude, or come across as \"too close\" by offering gifts, but they really deserve something nice for how far they've helped me come. I can hold down a job now, I can live on my own, I don't scream anymore, I'm not angry anymore. They deserve at least...something.", "post_id": "fa717l", "comment_id": "fiwy7pa"}, {"question": "please look into Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You can start by buying a workbook (e.g. on Amazon).", "comment": "It starts off real subtle. I\u2019m driving around while he\u2019s at work and every time I have to make a turn or switch lanes I get the split image of a car smashing into me. I\u2019m double, triple-checking my mirrors because I swear it\u2019s gonna happen. A couple times this week I just knew a truck was gonna come dying into me on the highway, smashing me into the barrier or hauling me over the barrier into the river. \n\nI think these thoughts happen when my anxiety gets bad. But I don\u2019t realize them at first. They\u2019re not drawn-out fantasies; think involuntary thoughts. Invasive. I\u2019m not even realizing them consciously at first. I\u2019m probably not making any fucking sense.\n\nThen eventually they\u2019re happening so often that I start to realize what\u2019s going on. Then I start to want it to happen in real life. For a car to just smash me to pieces. \n\nThe thing is I\u2019ve recently discovered that I probably will never amount to anything no matter what. And that I\u2019m an ungrateful piece of shit. I mean I fucking suck. I\u2019ll never be satisfied with anything unless I have everything. No matter how hard I try to feign happiness for the people around me. \n\nMy boyfriend is a sweetheart. He truly loves me even when I\u2019m being a depressed piece of shit. He doesn\u2019t deserve someone who\u2019s depressed every other fucking day. Who doesn\u2019t ever know what she wants but, knows it\u2019s not this. No matter what I do or what\u2019s done for me or presented to me, it\u2019s never enough.\n\nThis, among many other things is why I deserve death. Or some kind of pain or torture. I used to cut myself years ago and I\u2019ve been fantasizing about it a lot lately. I want to punish myself for the stupid shit I put the people in my life through. \n\nI keep fantasizing about this other girl who\u2019s happy and supportive and cheers him up and keeps him high, not some low-life bitch who has nothing but negative thoughts and words and feelings. He\u2019d be so much better off with her.", "post_id": "cos1al", "comment_id": "ewkx02o"}, {"question": "It seems God has already given you the strength, my friend. Stay strong, we are all proud of you!", "comment": "Day two, and I had my mason jar of shake just eyeing me. So I flushed it. Flushed my ash tray with roaches.\n\nI know I\u2019m gonna regret this later but today\u2019s day two and I\u2019m making a commitment to quitting. I\u2019ve done it before but this time I can\u2019t replace bud with alcohol. No vices. Just me.\n\nGod give me strength ", "post_id": "7sy4su", "comment_id": "dt8u1wd"}, {"question": "I am hoping that you do not work in the medical or mental health fields as this post would be extremely unethical (and illegal if you live in the U.S.)\n\nIf you are concerned about her well being, I'd suggest you consult a mental health professional, rather than a semi-anonymous internet forum. ", "comment": "I made a website for this woman several years ago. Everything seemed normal until I saw the content of her website and the videos she wanted to sell. I finished the website for her anyways because she was very persistent, didn't seem like she was out to scam anyone, and she already gave me a deposit.\n\nWhen I was uploading her video, I saw that it was just her reading the phone book for 2 hours. I contacted her and said \"I think you gave me the wrong video. It's just a video of you reading the phone book for 2 hours.\". She responded (with a smirk) \"yes, that's my message\".\n\nThis is her phone book gospel: https://youtu.be/pF5pGt3DABM The first few minutes is an intro to her divine nature and a lie detector test. At 5:00 you will hear the \"results\" of the lie detector test. At 6:52 she starts reading the phone book. That continues for the next 2 hours until the rest of the video.\n\n...I'm really curious... what mental disorder do you think she has?", "post_id": "43pssz", "comment_id": "czkltgm"}, {"question": "marriage counseling before divorce", "comment": "So me and my wife have been having issues for years to the point we both admit we aren't happy to each other. I've been trying to talk to her to make our marriage better and last night she said \n\n\"I don't know what you want me to say, I'm tired of talking about it, this is why I want to separate because I don't want to have these conversations every 2 days.\"\n\nShe also said \"yeah I'd like to fix our marriage but idk how, and I think we're both passed the point of caring\"\n\nThen she raised her voice and said she didn't want to talk about it cause it's late and she's tired. \n\nif we didn't have kids I would divorce her immediately no questions asked but we have 2 young kids and I can't imagine not being around them. I'm trying to determine whether our marriage is more harmful to them than divorce would be. \n\nI don't want to ask anyone I know for advice because I don't want to bad mouth my wife and turn my friends and family against her. So I'm using Reddit as a place to be complete open and seek advice ", "post_id": "6po9b7", "comment_id": "dkqtp9z"}, {"question": "in a long tumultuous rel., it won't survive without professional help", "comment": "Okay so me and my rn ex bf have been together for pretty much 2 1/2 years. We broke in the summer for a hot minute but still saw each other at LEAST once a week and talked all the time (so does that even count??) and so we broke up again about 3 weeks ago bc he said he didn't want to bring a gf to college but he loves me?? But anyway we didn't talk for like a week then he saw me at a basketball game and texted and said he's sorry for how he acted he's just sad in life rn and he doesn't know what he wants blah blah blah we've hung out twice and I'm kinda like should I do this I LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM but like is it worth my own self esteem and happiness to go through talking and hanging out (not dating) and he may just be like nah sorry. I need advice what should I do? ", "post_id": "5t8mlc", "comment_id": "ddl182x"}, {"question": "And thats the problem with these types of drugs... Whether you need them or not they feel great!\n\nNo harm speaking to your doctor but if youre looking for evidence based treatment that actually leads to recovery then you might need to defer to your docs opinion on the type of treatment that sould be considered for you, which may or may not involve amphetamine salts.", "comment": "Edit:  \n\nMaybe I should explain my version of \u201cgreat\u201d\n\nI struggle with racing thoughts, not finishing projects, and almost ignoring other things around me just because I\u2019m stuck in my own mind \n\nBut I was at a real estate seminar, and was able to focus on the speaker the entire time & took way better notes. Retained more information etc\n\nRather than having a thought come in, me thinking about that thought for 10 minutes (missing the last 10 minutes) and then moving on before finishing the first 10 minutes", "post_id": "enowhb", "comment_id": "fe3bner"}, {"question": "As others have said, it's about discipline, not motivation. You're never going to FEEL like doing homework. You're never gonna wake up and be like \"Man, I'm so excited to go do homework!!!\" So you have to kind of train yourself to do things when you have to and not wait around for your feelings. It takes practice.\n\nA couple of tricks that might help:\n\nMake and keep a schedule. Dedicate a certain time of day and/or day of the week to study. Write it on your calendar. Don't do anything else during that time, don't schedule anything else there. It usually takes a couple of weeks to fall into a routine, so DO NOT GIVE UP in those first few weeks. It will be easier to keep the routine after that.\n\nChange your environment. For myself personally, my bedroom is the \"chill zone\" - if I try to study there, my brain will default to what I normally do there, which is chill. So go somewhere else, where the whole purpose of you being there is to study. A library, coffee shop, a park, or heck even just a different table or desk in your house. \n\nEliminate any distractions. Headphones. I like music without lyrics for working on stuff (electronic stuff is good), other music is more distracting. Upbeat stuff keeps me awake and focused. White noise can help as well. \n\nFor those moments when you have something planned but have trouble getting up to go do it - do a countdown. 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - GET UP. Don't think about it just GO. Don't give yourself more time to talk yourself out of it. \n\nAlso, periodically standing up and walking around can help when you do get distracted. Some people even prefer working while standing. Say your notes out loud. Teach a concept to a friend, or just act like you are. Find a study buddy. Do whatever you gotta do, and if something's not working, ask yourself **\"What are the obstacles preventing me from doing this?\".** Good luck.", "comment": "Can someone please help me with tips to motivate myself to do my homework and study, it's my exam year but I always just feel too depressed or tired \nMuch appreciated", "post_id": "d3c25f", "comment_id": "f01zo5q"}, {"question": "So many things not quite right in this. First your therapist should not have made that suggestion. Second his T shouldn\u2019t have even acknowledged that he was even a client let alone send an email CCing your hubby. The marriage therapist is supposed to be seeing things from both sides as the couple is the client (so they might not take sides). But if there is sexual assault there\u2019s a clear side for that and the therapist should be holding space for both of you yet holding your hubby accountable for this as it is NOT ok for this to be happening. In my mind sexual assault is along the same level as physical domestic violence and there\u2019s even some question of how ethical it is for the T to even see you still if that is still happening. If I had one of my couples clients tell me there was sexual assault that would be a huge thing I would be working with them on and giving them the talk about the legality of what he is doing not to mention the emotional ramifications it has on you and your relationship.  Your husband could legally be charged for sexual assault just as he could if he was beating you. All of this sounds awful and I\u2019m sorry the Ts you have aren\u2019t doing what they need to be for either of you. Get a new couples therapist if you want to still try and make it a number one priority for the sexual assault to STOP or get tf out. I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re going through this. I really hope you are able to figure out what is best for you both.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "f3s2xg", "comment_id": "fhmtid2"}, {"question": "Infectious diseases aren't my field, and it's hard to predict the course of a disease. There's often a week or so of feeling almost sick, followed by a week or a few weeks of feeling sick, followed by a few weeks of feeling not completely better. I think there's a good chance that you got lucky and have only mild symptoms. You can just wait it out\n\nSpleen issues are most commonly swelling, which you wouldn't notice; splenic rupture  is serious but rare. I still would recommend avoiding vigorous activity or risk of getting hit in the abdomen for a month or so (hopefully you got more specific recommendations from your doctor/nurse). \n\nHopefully you just got a lucky case and you can put your all-but-inevitable mono infection behind you and move on to enjoying college!", "comment": "Hello \u2014 I am an 18 year old male who is currently in college. I have been feeling ill for the past week. My symptoms have mainly been body aches, congestion, feverish chills and sweatiness (especially in sleep), a bad cough, a sore throat with puss spots on my tonsils, and some mild fatigue. The best way I can describe it is: much worse than the common cold, but not as bad as the flu. \n\nAfter a week of not feeling better and not feeling myself improve at all, I decided to get myself Checked out at a clinic here near my campus. I took a strep test which came out negative. The nurse then gave me a mono test via a blood sample and sure enough, i tested positive for mono. She told me this is very common on college campuses, and it can be contracted from sharing utensils and cups in the dining halls, to touching a doorknob that someone sneezed on, or obviously, from kissing. \n\nThe only person I\u2019ve kissed here at college is my girlfriend, and she did have mono \u2014 but she had it two years ago. I also read that I was likely infected with the Epstein-Barr virus like 4-6 weeks ago, which was when I moved into college and was constantly moving around and meeting people in this new environment. \n\nHowever, so far I haven\u2019t had any spleen or stomach issues (knock on wood), and I haven\u2019t been extremely extremely fatigued yet either. This lead the nurse to believe that I have somewhat of a mild case of Mono. \n\nSo, after being a week into the symptoms of this sickness, what are the odds that it gets worse before it gets better? How common are spleen complications? Should I expect to have nausea and vomiting? What other tips would you give to help treat Mono until I heal from it?\n\nThank you in advance for all of your help. ", "post_id": "9ma3ca", "comment_id": "e7d4u1s"}, {"question": "Psychologists=therapist more or less. You'd need a referral from your primary care doctor or with some insurance you can just research a dermatologist near you and make an appointment. I'd you're worried about talking with your mom about a therapist can help you have that conversation. ", "comment": "Hello everyone I made a previous post about my acne problem and I decided to take the advice to tell my counselor it's effects it's having on me. They appointed me to a psychologist but to fix my skin I need a dermatologist. Can a psychologist tell my mom I need to go to the dermatologist or do anything like sending me to the dermatologist?", "post_id": "72y30r", "comment_id": "dnm5kq8"}, {"question": "I sent a few private messages to people on here and made a connection with one person. I think it's been helpful! ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "6kwqm8", "comment_id": "djq5c9e"}, {"question": "Smoking for something to \u201cdo\u201d is exactly how it feels for me ", "comment": "I smoked cigarettes from 14-18 then picked it back up when I was 23. I've now been smoking off and on for 4 years since then but I'm realizing it might be connected to my ADHD.\n\nI've always felt it was the habit of smoking, not the nicotine, that was MORE addictive for me. When I'm driving, walking, or doing homework, it's similar to a fidgit cube. I always feel like I need to \"do\" and smoking is something to \"do\".\n\nAlso, no need to lecture me on the detriments of smoking, I'm well aware, I've quit before and I'll do it again. Because of the \"habit\" factor I plan on purchasing a vape to use nicotine-free juice and cut back tremendously.", "post_id": "9xrg0a", "comment_id": "e9ulend"}, {"question": "Thank you for sharing you thoughts. I was also diagnosed as a kid and was the \"different one\". Changing medication can definitely feel a little scary and I commend you on your positive outlook. New meds wont necessarily change everything over night but you are setting yourself up with the right foundation. Just remember to take each day as it comes. ", "comment": "I was diagnosed as a kid.\nIt was weird being the 'different one', skipping history so I could go to the learning resource center and work on homework with a teachers aid because I was deemed slow. \nI'm an adult now. \nI'm going to get medication again because it's the right thing to do in my situation. I'm nervous but I believe deep inside, it'll change things for the better. \nIt's because of this subreddit I don't feel so alone, and let me get this out. so thank you.", "post_id": "60lmn8", "comment_id": "df81xx9"}, {"question": "NAD, but white or light stool usually indicates a bile blockage, so gallbladder, liver or pancreas. Based on where you are describing the discomfort, maybe gallbladder. Especially if it makes you feel like you want to stretch out your chest/abdomen (versus ball up) to relieve the discomfort. \n\nWithout having dealt with your specific situation, I can only say go with what you feel is best for you. If you would feel better getting checked out at the ER, do that. If you want to wait and see, that's your call, too.\n\nBeing someone with a couple of chronic illnesses I know that feeling like you can't get your providers when you need them is so rough. Ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you. Good luck and keep us posted!", "comment": "Age: 45\n\nSex: Female\n\nHeight: 5 feet\n\nWeight 150 lbs\n\nPrimary complaint: My poop is completely white\n\nDuration: Just started this morning, but I've had diarrhea for a few weeks\n\nDrink: No\n\nSmoke: Former\n\nDrugs: No\n\nExisting medical issues:  Mucinous Cystic Neoplasm - Center/Body of Pancreas (3 cm), history of pancreatitis due to the mass sitting there, Acid Reflux, Frequent Diarrhea, Fatigue, Left knee ACL tear, and Hyperthyroidism\n\nCurrent medications are for the thyroid (which is on hold right now because it is within range) and over the counter gastro meds PRN to manage my symptoms.   Occasionally I drink a gastro cocktail they taught me how to make at home when the pain in my abdomen gets bad.\n\nSo, I woke up this morning feeling the urge to get to the restroom.  This is not unusual for me as I have frequent diarrhea from the cyst on my pancreas.   I did my business and stood up to flush the toilet and the entire toilet was full of white poop.  Like...so white it matched the white porcelain of the toilet.   Let me tell you, looking down at the toilet filled with pure white poop that just came out of my ass...that's a sight, I tell you.  I nearly had a heart attack.\n\nI have some uncomfortableness in the center of my chest/abdomen (like right between the boobs) but not severe pain.  I have fatigue.  I have gas. I have some nausea and lack of an appetite - havent eaten all day.  I have a feeling that I have to poop again, but when I sit on the toilet nothing comes out.\n\nI'm being treated for the pancreas at MD Anderson and tried to put in a panicked call to them and haven't heard anything back.   This is not unusual for them..it takes forever for them to return a call.  Right now, they're taking a wait and see approach on the mass...its growing fairly rapidly, it looks like it might be morphing into cancer, but my blood work is not too wacky just yet and they want to relook at it in December to see what it has done in three months time.   The only option to remove it is to do the Whipple, which they try to wait as long as possible to do that, apparently.\n\nI tried calling my PCP, he told me its above his paygrade and to call MDA.  I tried Urgent Care, they told me to call MDA.  And I called MDA, and they haven't called back.\n\nWhy the HELL is my poop white?  Should I go to the ER?  Am I going to die waiting for MDA to call me back?  I've waited all day on pins and needles and still haven't heard anything tonight.   Like obviously this isn't normal.  I feel like I'm shitting cotton balls, man.  Could the mass have grown enough (in the center of the pancreas) to be pushing on the gallbladder duct?  Isn't the duct closer to the head of the pancreas?   How can a mass in the center be pushing on a duct in the head?  Could I have gallstones and not feel severe pain?\n\nAny ideas on what the hell to do tonight would be helpful.  I'm sorta freaked out.", "post_id": "czthpn", "comment_id": "ez16dft"}, {"question": "I think you'll wind up in limbo for a long time. I would suggest staying in touch, but keeping all your options open.", "comment": "Hi! I'll try to keep the backstory as short as possible. \nI'm a 31 year old bi/poly female. I was in a toxic long - term relationship with my ex boyfriend for over 3 years until I broke up with him in June of last year. \nSince then, I've been casually dating, with no intention of looking for a serious, committed relationship. Made some friends and connections along the way, but no one interested me romantically, until recently. \nMet a great 34 year old guy back in February on Tinder. We had loads in common, but he was only looking for interesting people to hang out with until he moved (this month). \nWe ended up liking each other more than either of us had anticipated, and there is definitely strong chemistry. However, this is where it gets complicated. \n\nNeither of us were looking for a serious situation. Me, being newly(ish) single for the first time in my adult life (I got married at 19, divorced at 27), him because of moving, new job, new city, and getting divorced (he and his wife separated in June as well). They were together for nearly 11 years, poly for the second half of their relationship. In the last year, he was fired from a job that he had intended to have for the rest of his career, and had some bad relationship experiences that left him even more raw, on top of losing his marriage. \n\nOn top of all of this, we both suffer from anxiety and depression. His is slightly worse than mine, and we suffer more so from anxiety than depression these days. This bears mentioning. \nFrom day 1, we have been intimate. We have also been in touch all day, every day since. However, he is very emotionally closed off. Aside from sex and sleeping, we rarely engage in physical touch (after a few drinks there is some, but not too much). He's very guarded. He doesn't flirt or compliment me. We recently discussed our \"relationship\". \nWe have agreed that we like each other and want to keep talking/seeing each other (we live just over an hour away from each other, he doesn't like long distance relationships and thinks this is long distance; I disagree). On average we hang out once a week, and it's pretty much always an overnight visit. I usually go to him, since he lives in a big city and there's more to do. \n\nSo while we like each other, he says he's not ready to \"get in too deep\". He said that at the barest minimum, our relationship \"minimizes lonliness\", but that what we have is more than that. He is not on meds for the anxiety, and he says he's emotionally stunted right now. He's figuring out the rest of his life, and there's a lot he needs to do for himself. I have been and will be in a similar situation myself soon, so I understand. \nThroughout all the things he's recently been through, I've been there for him. I helped him move, and have just tried to be a source of support. I've assured him that I  have no expectations or demands from this arrangement.\nHowever, I'm concerned that I'm just a security blanket or source of comfort. I know neither of us are ready for serious, but after 3 months I've definitely caught feelings for this guy. I feel like I'm trapped in a \"right person, wrong time\" situation.  \n\nI'm hopeful that once we get our lives figured out that we can take our relationship to the next level; but the uncertainty of how he really feels about me (we have a hard time communicating raw emotions, we are very much stuck in our own over-thinking heads) has me extremely anxious. I'm stuck somewhere between friend and girlfriend. I know time will tell, but am I wasting my time hoping that this will become more? Or should I keep doing what we're doing and see what happens? Or am I doomed to be stuck in this weird friends with benefits type of situation? \nSorry for the novel. Any advice, encouragement, or experience would be helpful. Thanks!\n", "post_id": "6ce2oh", "comment_id": "dhtxbf4"}, {"question": "just be direct about your feelings", "comment": "My friend(f17) just broke up with her boyfriend(m17) i(m17) am interested in her. How should I make this clear, and how long should I wait to do so?", "post_id": "5mb1qh", "comment_id": "dc2752s"}, {"question": "Therapist who works for admissions for a psych hospital here. \n\nAdmitting yourself voluntarily is infinitely better than being 5150'd. You have more general rights and depending on the hospital might have your own ward with other voluntary patients. On those types of units it's much calmer and a lot of people struggle with a lot of the same things. \n\nVoluntary status generally means that you can request discharge as well. Generally you can't until your first psychiatrist visit, but after that you are usually able to. It gives you more say in your treatment than you would otherwise get.\n\nIf your doctor is suggesting inpatient hospitalization it means they are concerned for your well-being and have some fears. From your story it seems they are right to be concerned. They come from a place of caring and want what's best for you. Sometimes that means more intensive treatment.\n\nMost inpatient treatment (bar seriously impairing mental illness) generally has patients stay for between 3-14 days tops. It's meant to stabilize you and connect you with follow up services so you can go home. It's not meant to house you for a long period of time. It is not a prison. But you have to be willing to work with the staff and show active investment in your own care. \n\nIf you have any questions feel free to post em. Good luck!", "comment": "Hi there,\n\nYesterday I admitted to my doctor I am on the edge and have been very close to committing suicide a few times (OD'ing on my meds), hoping he'd just prescribe stronger medication to fight off my suicidal thoughts, but instead because of that, and because I had lost 8 pounds in just two weeks (saw him two weeks ago) due to less eating (I just haven't had the will to eat much), and because I hadn't bathed in three days (not because I wanted to self harm via that, I just couldnt muster the will to get out of bed outside going to work) he recommended I go to a hospital's ER and tell them everything.  He brought in another doctor who concurred, and she even said \"do you want us to call the cops to escort you?\" when I initially said no.  So, shaking and wanting to throw up from fear, I just said I'd do it on my own and they let me go.  They're going to know that I didn't go eventually, and call the cops.  So what are my options?  There must be some alternative for my issues than locking me up.", "post_id": "ejgecv", "comment_id": "fcyhrsm"}, {"question": "Does he have a primary care doctor, that you\u2019re aware of? Sometimes alerting a PCP of concerning behaviors can be a good place to start. They can provide follow-up evaluations and recommendations, and most are good about being sensitive and discrete.", "comment": "Hello /r/askatherapist community,\n\n​\n\nSorry for using a throwaway account, but I would like to try to stay anonymous.\n\n​\n\nMy brother, who lives in Florida, has often shown interest in weird conspiracy theories like Chemtrails, Sungazing, and as of recently he's started denying that Corona and George Floyd are real. He can talk literally for hours about these things in great detail and is completely serious. He's had a very stressful life for the past 10+ years and I think it's making his mental health even worse. I don't live nearby and I don't know what I can do. I started researching mental health options near him, but I know that he cannot afford it, probably doesn't have insurance, and would deny that anything is wrong. More details:\n\n​\n\n1. He has children, and is a very good and dedicated father, but lives alone and works too much\n2. He has a history of alcohol abuse\n3. I do not believe he is currently a danger to himself or his children\n4. My family has tried to get him to move closer to where they live, but he has refused\n5. He is consistently making very bad decisions, like living way beyond his means while in lots of debt and spending even more money\n6. He is able to \"control the crazy\", by which I mean he doesn't talk about it to certain people, but with family he can and has talked for hours about absolute nonsense... the whole family agrees that he's \"losing it\" and needs professional help, but we don't know what to do\n\n​\n\nPlease help!", "post_id": "hg80u5", "comment_id": "fw2zklb"}, {"question": "(\u201cTraits of\u201d) Dependent personality disorder, sexual abuse, IPV, attachment trauma \n\nLed to\n\nlow self worth, low self efficacy, emotional lability \n\nLed to\n\nself soothe with food and other dopamine bombs\n\nLed to\n\nobesity\n\nLed to\n\nworsened self hatred\n\nLed to\n\ncompensatory behaviors", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "irg33m", "comment_id": "g50uaiw"}, {"question": "You can do tele-psychiatry, which is similar to a Skype call, if you can find a clinic that offers that. Some health insurance plans will cover that as well.\n\nThere is no way you can get a new prescription over the phone only.\n\nBe mindful, though, that they will ask a little bit about what is going on. It may suck to talk about but they need something to justify any kind of clinical decisions they make.", "comment": "I'm not afraid to go outside (all the time), but I definitely wouldn't want to go to a office type setting and meet people in person for the sole specific reason of talking about everything I hate.\n I can't imagine the idea of telling anyone what's actually happening in my life or what's wrong with me, sharing or trying to connect. They seem like they're feigning feelings and it makes me uncomfortable. I just want to be medicated without putting myself out there. \n  It sucks to be outside and exist, trying to feel normal and feeling like I can't talk to anyone past the normal work/outside conversation. I see the same people everyday when I work and they know little about how I really feel and what's happening in my life.", "post_id": "f3fsu0", "comment_id": "fhigor8"}, {"question": "We can't figure out what's wrong online, but if she has new onset diarrhea and vomiting and hasn't been getting much food or fluid down then dehydration is a real risk and can contribute to delirium. It doesn't sound like this is something that can be managed at home, and I suggest going to the hospital at this point.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gnym5f", "comment_id": "frd59wh"}, {"question": "If you figure out the answer to this, please share it with the world. We need the tricks!\n\nIn reality, it\u2019s hard. Studies have found that presenting evidence tends to harden positions rather than changing minds. Trying to gently nudge may get you nowhere. Trying to shout her down definitely will get you nowhere.\n\nUltimately it\u2019s probably a long, slow process of picking the times to question her sources and maybe point out that the scientific consensus, including non-physicians and non-pharmacy, is against homeopathy and for approved medications.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "j2lzs2", "comment_id": "g766fy1"}, {"question": "Thank you for the apology. I hope you're feeling reassured.\n\nThere's no question, so I'll close the thread.", "comment": "I apologize for \u201cspamming\u201d and post I think 4 or 5 times on a related matter regarding my ALS concerns and fears. \n\nI\u2019ve received several nasty PMs over the past couple hours. I never intended to make anyone mad, I was/am just concerned. \n\n\nMale 23, 185lbs 6\u201901\u201d", "post_id": "c51f33", "comment_id": "es08zp3"}, {"question": "'normal' means nothing. The only thing that matters is how you feel about it. You have a right to feel whatever you feel.", "comment": "He said his friends sent him those pictures and they are auto-saved, he doesn't really look at them (I don't know if I buy it). I was really baffled with it, I made him delete those. Am I being too much? Is it really true most of guys have such pictures on their phone? \n(+) I am okay about him watching porns. Just the fact that he exchanges such pictures with his friends and keep those in his phone alerted me. Also I had his consent of just looking at his album (in fact did it together with him), didn't touch any other parts of his phone. I also told him I am completely opened to disclosing my phone. ", "post_id": "6o9lp1", "comment_id": "dkfnyrk"}, {"question": "Big! Give me anonymity and endless options for distraction/stimulation!", "comment": "Which do you prefer and why?", "post_id": "498fzi", "comment_id": "d0px5dd"}, {"question": "This is taken from my first blog post [here](http://thewebshrink.com/therapy-101-getting-started-and-what-you-need-to-know/)\n\nHopefully you find it helpful.  \n\nWhat Do the Letters Mean After a Therapist\u2019s Name and Does this Matter?\n\nThe letters after a therapist\u2019s name generally represent 1 and/or 2 things, their college degree and/or their professional license.  In the United States you essentially have 2 types of mental health therapists:  psychologists and master\u2019s level therapists.\n\nIn order for someone to officially call themselves a psychologist, they need to obtain a Doctoral Degree and obtain a license.\n\nLicense requirements for psychologists and master\u2019s level therapists vary from state to state but essentially require passing board exams and working for several years under the supervision of an experienced psychologist (or licensed Master\u2019s Level Clinician) after having obtained the necessary college degree.\n\nPsychologists will most commonly have the following letters after their name: PhD, PsyD, Ed.D., and will include the title Licensed Psychologist.\n\nMaster\u2019s level therapists who have the ability to work towards licensure have either graduated with a Master\u2019s Degree in Psychology, a Master\u2019s Degree in Social Work, or one in Marriage and Family Therapy.  These therapists will generally have the following after their name: M.S., M.A., M.Ed., MSW\n\nIf they have obtained their professional license they will have additional letters after their degree (In some cases licensed Master\u2019s level therapists choose to only list their license as it can be assumed they have a Master\u2019s if they have obtained that license)\n\nMany states in the United States use the following letters for licensed Master\u2019s Level Therapists though some states have different titles and use different sets of letters.  They are generally comparible.\n\nLPC\u2013 Licensed Professional Counselor \u2013 Has Master\u2019s Degree in Psychology and has met requirements for licensure.\n\nLSW or LCSW\u2013 Licensed Social Worker/Licensed Clinical Social Worker \u2013 Has Master\u2019s Degree in Social Work and has met requirements for licensure in their state.\n\nLMFT\u2013 Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist \u2013 Has Master\u2019s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and has met requirements for licensure in their state.\n\nIn PA and in some states, an LSW is a license a therapist with a degree in Social Work can obtain on the way to obtaining an LCSW.  Essentially the LCSW is equivalent to the LPC and LMFT.\n\nSome professionals might argue tooth and nail over the differences between the clinicians above and some might argue that everyone from their degree and or license type is better suited than others to be therapists.  The reality is that degree and even license does not necessarily always indicate the amount of experience, skill level, and personal fit.  It is safe to assume that if a therapist has the education and the license, they are capable of providing sound and ethical treatment.  You will have to determine through their advertisement or your experience of them if they are good fit for you.\n", "comment": "I have been frustrated with calling therapists and them saying they cannot take any new patients... So, I'm kind of not sure. I am fortunate enough to have insurance that will cover mental illness. However, when searching - I am overwhelmed by types of therapists: social worker, clinician (which I'm not sure what that means but they have an MSW by their name), and psychologist. I previously saw a psychologist, but she was a bit unprofessional about a situation which is why I have had to seek another. I *was* calling new psychologists, but like I said they are full. I suffer from depression and anxiety that stems from my PTSD. Does it matter if I see a social worker or clinician instead of a psychologist? I have been working with therapists for about 4 years now so it's not a new thing but I know if I go without therapy too long, I can backslide. ", "post_id": "9bah4b", "comment_id": "e51skoy"}, {"question": "Hey there. It sounds like you're in a lot of pain right now. I'm glad you know that it isn't right for someone to talk to you that way. That person isn't your friend.\n\nNo one here can diagnose you with an eating disorder. But your post does hint that your eating behavior is very disordered.\n\nI really think you would benefit from speaking and working with a professional: someone who has worked with people who struggle with all of the things that you struggle with right now. Someone who will be able to help you work through the pain you're feeling. Have you considered that?\n\nEven if you haven't, or aren't ready for that yet, I just want you to know that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. And you deserve to be happy and comfortable in your body.", "comment": "I just want to feel good again. My husband left me and I used food to feel good. I was only 130 when he left but I went up to 240. I felt like people treated me like I was less of a person. I was tired of being treated bad by everyone. I just wanted to love myself again.\n\nSo, I started lowering my calories to 1500 a day. Then 1200. Then 1000. And my weightloss wasn't fast enough so I'm at 800 now. I loved hearing people complement my loss. Everyone kept telling me how great I was looking. I finally am feeling better. \n\nI am at 155 now. I eat a 95 calorie breakfast. Egg whites, spinach and tomato. I eat spinach, fish and kale for lunch shortly before I workout, about 210. Then carrots, raspberries, tofu, asparagus but mainly salads.\n\nBut now I can't stop. I am terrified of gaining anything back. I was restricting with the assumption that I was just doing this until I lost some weight. I noticed what I was doing was bad so I told a friend, but she said I was too fat to have an ed. This was the same friend who told me when was raped it didn't count because I thought the guy was cute. I was drugged but whatever. Why is she my friend still? Because I don't want to be alone.\n\nI dunno what I'm even here for.", "post_id": "26jgvd", "comment_id": "chrlxyl"}, {"question": " \n\nShort answer: it\u2019s a lot like working with a skittish animal who has a hard time trusting humans. I try to be really gentle and safe: showing the person that I\u2019m here, I\u2019m not going anywhere, and I\u2019m really really really curious about them. I ask a lot of questions\u2014 trying to draw them into the conversation / relationship. Overtime, my hope is that they experience me as someone who is inviting and safe\u2014 but not pushy or demanding. Someone who wants to know them. Someone who cares and is interested in what\u2019s happening inside of them. \n\nI will eventually start to bring our relationship into the conversation \u2014 letting them know how I am impacted in our relationship. \u201cI notice when you said that, I felt more connected to you. I felt there was a shift in our relationship. Is that something you noticed, or was that just on my side?\u201d I\u2019m trying to tune them into any emotional shifts that they might be experiencing to see if they can feel a difference in the quality of a relationship when it does get more intimate and more vulnerable. To really tall about this vulnerability, what it feels like, how they experience it in their body, if there is any satisfaction in that. \n\nThroughout this, we also talk about how others in relationships might experience them. \u201cI\u2019m sort of feeling like there are parts of you that I\u2019m not quite getting to see. I hear the words, but I\u2019m not necessarily sensing what that *feels* like to you\u2026I\u2019m wondering if your wife/husband might feel that way sometimes too?\u201d I try to use our relationship to test out / give voice to what others might be experiencing in their lives but in a way that is less defensive and more curious: I\u2019m experiencing the connection this way, I wonder what that\u2019s about? Maybe we can kind of look at that together? \n\nMy hope is that they will learn to see me as someone who is safe to try on connection with, to experiment with vulnerability, and to find that wow\u2026it actually feels really soothing and nice to be vulnerable with someone. Then how might we do that in other relationships?", "comment": "I guess there are as many approaches as therapists (and clients!), but I want to gain a broad sense of how a therapist might treat avoidance / avoidant attachment that is contributing to a client\u2019s struggles.\n\nIt\u2019s easier for me to imagine that a therapist might use the relationship between them and the client to teach boundaries and model healthy attachments for a client who has trouble with, say, anxious attachment. I could be wrong or way off base, but in the case of avoidance it seems like therapists would not tend to use the relationship to teach avoidant clients to ask for more from them or depend more on them. So I\u2019m just wondering lately what therapists would do to help someone who is avoidant become more secure in their attachments.\n\nSort of wondering for myself. Speaking as someone who is very on the avoidant side, boundaries are definitely not an issue. My tendency is not to ask for help or to reach out. It\u2019s partly avoidance, partly just wanting to respect my therapist\u2019s time and personal life, and partly not knowing what I am and am not allowed to do so erring on the side of asking for less. I even recently got coronavirus and recovered in between our-biweekly sessions, and my therapist seemed shocked I didn\u2019t reach out. I told them I almost texted them, and they said, \u201cyou can always do that.\u201d After hearing that, I wish I would have. At the same time, I don\u2019t think my therapist *really* means that; I would be texting them every single day if both of us were truly giving me the permission to reach out whenever I wanted or needed.", "post_id": "ge05vn", "comment_id": "fpnc2oe"}, {"question": "As a therapist, it's our jobs to help people get better.  The overwhelming majority of folks coming through my door are coming to find answers to problems that they haven't been able to figure out.  Some people just want a sounding board.  If that's what they want and they state that, I'll listen, until I see that they keep repeating the same cycle of behaviors causing the problem.  If they want answers, I'll educate.  At the end of the day, a therapeutic relationship is still a relationship.  You're going to get feedback (from any professional worth their credentials).  On top of that, sometimes you might not like or agree with the feedback, too bad, that's part of having an actual authentic relationship, personal, professional, or otherwise or else you might as well just be talking to a brick wall.  ", "comment": "Don't you just hate constantly hearing unqualified advice from different people like social workers and teachers etc. I'm also talking about \"Professionals\" like therapists and psychiatrists. It's always these coping tools that annoy me the most... i appreciate that people care but you really should be more understanding and caring versus trying to solve peoples problems. I wouldn't give a soldier with PTSD advice because I don't have any experience with such a trauma.", "post_id": "6xg6pc", "comment_id": "dmfnpxr"}, {"question": "The labs you posted don\u2019t look complete and leave off some of the most important things to check, if they were checked: hemoglobin and thyroid labs.\n\nThere\u2019s no standard lab work up for depression without indicative symptoms to suggest something else, but thyroid is fairly common and easy, and checking for anemia is obviously worthwhile if you have a history of anemia.", "comment": "I've finally started to pursue help for depression. And yes, I have a psychiatrist appointment next week which I was referred to by the physician who did the blood test. Other then being a danger to myself (which I don't believe I am, nor does my wife or doctor or therapist). I have had depressive symptoms (brain fog, feeling a constant state of unhappiness, fatigue, the inability to feel happy even when I know that normal people would in certain circumstances, etc. Etc. Etc.) since before I can remember, and my parents can confirm that as well.\n\nMy only issue is, I told him that when I was 18, I had low iron to the point that they asked me to come back for further testing. Because of personal stupidity I never went back due to life circumstances. That is the only known issues I told my doctor. From what I can tell, they didn't test for iron unless I'm missing something. I feel like that was my main concern and he never pursued it.\n\nI'm not against psychotropics or any mental medications, I just want to check up on any other causes before we go down that route.\n\nCan anyone help interpret this initial test? There are 3 high levels and I don't fully understand what I'm looking at. Any resources that you recommend to read would be great as well. \n\nBlood Results - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gKNJja9d6dUCaQKzBDWxofcZHU1wJqCs/view?usp=drivesdk\n24M, 5'8\", 150lb., Never smoked, Caucasian, maybe 1 beer/week, no recreational drug use, have depression symptoms for at least over 15 years, no known medical conditions, no medications.", "post_id": "ex63t6", "comment_id": "fg75z7u"}, {"question": "From an academic standpoint:\n\n* [Posttraumatic stress disorder and cannabis use in a nationally representative sample.](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21480682) This article simply examines the prevalence of cannabis use in people diagnosed with PTSD.  It found that there is a significant relationship between PTSD diagnosis and lifetime AND past year cannabis use.\n\n* [Marijuana use and panic psychopathology among a representative sample of adults.](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20384424)  Examines the link between cannabis use and lifetime prevalence of panic disorder and panic attacks.  Quoting directly from the abstract: \n> Lifetime marijuana use also was significantly associated with an increased risk of current (past-year) panic attacks; however, this relation was not significant when controlling for nicotine dependence. Lifetime marijuana use was significantly associated with increased odds of a lifetime diagnosis of panic disorder as well as a current (past-year) diagnosis of panic disorder. Current (past-year) marijuana use was significantly associated with both lifetime and current panic attacks, but not current or lifetime panic disorder.\n\nThis suggests that cannabis use aggravates panic related disorders.  While this study didn't take PTSD into account, it opens a door to new research; the hypothesis being that, as cannabis aggravates panic response, it would not be very successful in dealing with PTSD symptoms. ", "comment": "I have a question. I've heard answers that go both ways, but I'd like to know if marijuana aggravates PTSD or not. Any personal experience or article references would be appreciated. Also, if you use marijuana to help with PTSD, if you were to stop using it, how would this affect PTSD compared to the time before beginning to use marijuana. Thank you.", "post_id": "1jraik", "comment_id": "cbhky0q"}, {"question": "Most likely the baclofen, which is a CNS depressant (makes your brain less active) and fairly commonly makes people feel fatigued and sometimes sedated. You're on 3 different muscle relaxants and unless there's definite need for it you could discuss with your doctor decreasing or stopping the baclofen. It isn't something that should be stopped suddenly if you've been taking it for a long time.", "comment": "Yesterday I visited a doctor about my left shoulder pain. He said I have tense muscle on both sides of my shoulders. After the first day on medication, my shoulder pain is almost gone but I'm curious which medicines make me unable to focus (even trying to make proper phases for reddit post is really difficult) and sleep all day long. When will I feel like my normal self again after medication? It's not like I feeling terrible. I just can't think properly.\n\nHere are the medicines.\n1.Omeprazole 20 mg.\n2.Tolperisone 50 mg.\n3.Mobic 7.5 mg\n4.Baclofen 10 mg.\n\nI'm not an English speaker. I may make some grammar mistake (even more while I'm on medication).\n\nThank you very much.\n", "post_id": "906zqq", "comment_id": "e2o7ild"}, {"question": ">Would it be legal to establish and operate a counseling center along these ideological lines?\n\nWhy... would it not be legal? I am not sure I understand the legal element of the concern.\n\nFYI, you may be interested in /r/PsychotherapyLeftists/", "comment": "Since capitalism is a significant factor in the degradation of mental health, I think it would be helpful to have therapy that treats the patient's health in this context. Would it be legal to establish and operate a counseling center along these ideological lines?", "post_id": "hmv2sh", "comment_id": "fxa25wc"}, {"question": "Have you thought about seeing a professional counselor? A counselor has a lot of tools that can help you overcome your feelings of shame and discontent, and also a counselor would be a very safe way to start connecting to other people again :)", "comment": "Not sure what I hope to get out of this. Maybe just to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening\n\nI've had little to no contact with my friends or family since early/mid November. My feelings of shame and discontent are my own doing. I set a very ambitious and risky goal for myself and have failed miserably, allowing myself to become distracted and not use my time wisely. In short, I feel that I am a failure in life. Couple that with depression and anxiety, I withdrew and became a hermit more or less. \n\nI'd like to begin reconnecting, but the fear of judgement is preventing me. I know at the end of the day, it's all in my head, but in the moment, the fear is real. \n\nEdit - Just want to thank everyone for being so understanding and helpful", "post_id": "2xfc9i", "comment_id": "cozqxsa"}, {"question": "My suggestion would be therapy, and progress in therapy can take time. Why haven't you stuck with a therapist? Working through this will take time and effort on your part, focusing on yourself and not her. \n\nA therapist may suggest exploring antidepressants which can be a short term option to help get you through this time. Best of luck to you. ", "comment": "We were together for about a year and 4 months and I was about to move closer to her. We had a really bad breakup, mostly with me not knowing how do deal with these emotions until it got to the point where she just refused to talk to me. I called her twice asking her to reconsider and thought we agreed to wait until after her finals so we can reevaluate the situation, but after a month I texted her and she responded with \"don't reach out to me again\".\n\nThe first few weeks after the breakup I was a mess, even had the police here a few times cause my friends were worried about me. I can't blame them for it, but I don't think it was needed.\n\nFast forward a few months, and I still struggle ever day not to contact her (haven't reached out to her since late December when she said not to contact her again) and I just don't know how much longer I can stay sane with this pain. Most of my friends are getting tired of dealing me with and I honestly cant blame them... I wasn't to be with her more than anything in the world, and I'd do anything to make this pain go away. I've tried seeing a therapist and even tried many different ones, but that wasn't helping. I met new people and made awesome new friends but I don't know how much longer I can keep hiding this depression from everyone. \n\nHow do I open a discussion with her again? How do I fix this and not let the person I love destroy me emotionally... How do I become my old cheerful self again so I can meet someone new? I'm lost, confused, hurt and just don't know what to do with my life anymore", "post_id": "69p31i", "comment_id": "dh8i5yp"}, {"question": "Any therapists I've seen in the past have taken my insurance. I live in MA and we are fairly ahead of the curb in terms of mental health though. Where do you live? I'm not used to hearing about mental health professionals not taking insurance. ", "comment": "  Why is it that medical professionals take insurance but not mental health professionals? \n\n I don't want to see some random social worker, I want to see someone with a Ph.D. in psychology, who is actually trained and went through therapy themselves.  But they want $260 an hour and don't take insurance. \n\n Who can afford that? Seriously. ", "post_id": "70zc1b", "comment_id": "dn74gpb"}, {"question": "Maybe you\u2019re not as nice as you think you are.", "comment": "Stop talking about how lonely you are when you won\u2019t even bother to talk to someone like me and have a normal conversation. If you\u2019re not going to talk to just anyone, you\u2019re not that LONELY then, ARE YOU? Fucking whiny attention seeker.\n\nThis website has made me despise people, mainly females. Fuck everyone. ", "post_id": "ak8ueg", "comment_id": "ef2myhg"}, {"question": "I'm a therapist and I work in a psychiatric hospital. Please feel free to ask me any questions and I'll do best to answer them and help you out.", "comment": "Hey guys... Yeah, thats it. I just find out i got schizophrenia...\n\nMy entire life was a lie. Years of constant fighting with myself, thoughts and actions which was just schizophrenia and i thinking was some different personality, not a big deal. \n\nMakes 2 weeks since i find this out. I 'm 20, and for a really long time, i have this difficult in pretty much everything, and its getting worse since when starts. but i never, never looked for a doctor or something. \n\nThen 2 weeks ago i got some balls to go to the psychotherapist, what a surprise. In little words, he told me im pretty fucked up and need a treatment as fast as possible in a closed place (hospitalization - i dont know if this is the right word to use [bad english], but its like stay in a place for crazy people if u get me). In first though i didnt believe him, and just ignored, then 2 days later i went into another one, and another one.... same result in all of it.\n\nFor now im trying to understand this is not real, that person which i talk and shit its not actually real, neither my thoughts and my way of thinking in this world, its all pretty messed up, i dont know if has someone out there with that, but if you read about schizophrenia, you gonna understand.\n\nThe thing is, i really dont know what to do, they told me, my case its really serious and really need a decent treatment fast or else this can get worse, and then i will never be the same, just a crazy fuck with a pretty messed up mind, its the end of the line. I dont want take pills, i dont want get hospitalized, i dont want to lose my life to that... its a shitty life, but at least i have some freedom.. \n\ni was thinking in some natural treatment, i dont know if has something i could do, but i really dont want to go in that way, getting hospitalized and filling my ass with a lot of pills and those things which makes you messed up, and here in my country, only expansive places take care of you decently, other ones just dont give a shit, they mistreat, its not cool.\n\nAnyone knows about that, except my kind of GF (we kind broke up, but we still talk to each other), and she told me i really need to do that, its like having a cancer and dont want to make the chemo.. \n\nI really dont know what to do, i already lost the desire for pretty much everything, but i still feel something in music for instance, and in the nature too.. i dont want to lose that, i dont want to become a freaking messed up walking mind.. \n\nAnyone who have this or knows someone with schizophrenia could help me out, im kind scared of trying to make a decision by a doctor, the last one almost lock me up after make the conclusion of schizophrenia..\nI need a light.", "post_id": "ykpn5", "comment_id": "c5wrxlg"}, {"question": "My expectations are soon to become my frustrations. We had this topic Wednesday night at the homegroup on not getting the outcomes you want or expect. I know you're an AA guy as well so you can definitely find comfort in the fact that your higher power has the right thing in store for your future. Just gotta strap in for the ride of your life.", "comment": "Having an outcome today that is not what I had hoped for.   \nNot getting what I want.    \nWhen I want it.   \nOn the silver platter I secretly crave/think I somehow deserve.   \nServed by naked handmaidens....   \n(Am I an addict or what?)\n\nTruth is this is not a big thing, really quite minor, my glass is still 95% full, and I am aware of my feelings and am not letting this get to me.  One way of doing that is telling on myself.\n\nThey say expectations are resentments waiting to hatch.   Not this time.", "post_id": "1hp9vn", "comment_id": "cawjne0"}, {"question": "Check out r/loseit , they have a great community over there and I'm 100% sure you will find some people there who have been in similar situations.", "comment": "I started at about 305 in February and I\u2019m at about 230 right now. I was doing okay but I really haven\u2019t lost any weight since the beginning of November, this is mainly due to me losing a lot of the motivation to keep losing weight. I always told myself that I\u2019d be attractive once I lost weight but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s going to be true anymore, I just feel so disappointed and defeated that it\u2019s hard to convince myself to go to the gym or be super strict about counting my calories. \n\nI haven\u2019t gained any weight because I really don\u2019t want to go back to being that big but it just feels so pointless to keep trying when I\u2019m not going to be attractive when I\u2019m skinnier anyways. I don\u2019t know how to convince myself to lose the weight because it would be nice to be at a healthy weight for the first time in my life, but I just can\u2019t find a reason to keep doing it. \n\nIll appreciate any advice you can Throw my way", "post_id": "e8f3yv", "comment_id": "fabldwi"}, {"question": "If suggestions we're what he needs, he'd be better. \n\nWork on why he can't follow through with the suggestions. Also I like noon decisional activity, like just looking for things that he may like or finding things he definitely doesn't like", "comment": "Hi there, \n\nLike the title says, I'm looking for advice about my older brother who has issues with alcohol. He has been to rehab recently for the first time and for the past couple years has been living at home. He was engaged and had a job as a programmer before, but now is just going through the days with interaction with family and not much else other than the computer. \n\nI've talked a lot with him and he says that everything is just so boring without the influence of alcohol or drugs like Adderall. Anytime somebody suggests something for him to get involved in or alleviate boredom, he pushes the notion of to the side. \n\nWhat can I do to help \n\nThank you", "post_id": "3y5d39", "comment_id": "cyaoivh"}, {"question": "It sounds like you hit \u201cthe wall\u201d which normally happens around the six month mark. It sucks for a lot of people and many of us have dealt with it. I look back on it as a milestone in my recovery. Once you move past it, it gets better. Sounds like you have a plan as to remember to stick to that. And remember, just one day at a time", "comment": "I was addicted to drugs for 10 yrs. It numbed me out. \n\nNow I'm 6 months sober, and I'm embarrassed by the person I was and the way I treated other people. I thought I was doing better being emotionally stable until I had a mental breakdown yesterday in front of my boyfriend. He was nice about it, but it was so embarrassing. \n\nI'm gonna become a better person. I made a list of what I hate in my life right now, and what I'm gonna do about it. I hate my job, so I'm gonna apply to open positions. I feel drained, so I'm gonna start jogging while listening to music. I'm gonna take Vitamins. Go to the dentist. Dress better.\n\nI hope a year from now I'm not in such a dark place. One year ago, I was doing molly in the work bathroom in the middle of my shift, so there's gotta be a better version of me than that...", "post_id": "jwt4e0", "comment_id": "gctnwex"}, {"question": "Definitely reach out. \n\nWas she in private practice before she shut down? If she was part of an organization,  she may not be allowed to reach you.\n\nThere are lots of reasons for this situation,  but you aren't doing anything wrong by reaching out.", "comment": "Hi! Ethics-related Q.\n\nSituation: I saw a therapist for a few months. She was wonderful. She went on leave for a period of time and then, as a result of COVID-19, shut down her practice temporarily. As such, my treatment was abruptly discontinued after waiting out the leave period. Her online profiles began to show that she wasn't taking appointments.\n\nI was bummed, but she sent me recommendations and I began exploring other options. I've been doing so for about three months. Haven't found anyone I'm jazzed about.\n\nWhen I began searching again today, I saw her come up in the online portal. At first I was sort of hurt because I thought she would've re-opened her practice and then checked to see if I was still looking. Is that not the case? Is she not allowed to reach out to me directly since we have technically discontinued treatment?\n\nI'm thinking about reaching out, but not sure what to do.\n\nWould love to hear your thoughts!", "post_id": "hj2w1y", "comment_id": "fwju7zl"}, {"question": "Make it a point to learn about folks different from yourself.  Absorb media where the stories and main characters don't reflect something you immediately relate to or agree with.  Movies, books, articles done from the perspective of people with different genders, races, sexual orientations, cultures, etc. from yourself.  \n\n\nThis is generally a good starting point.  \n\n\nAside from that, therapy can be helpful.  At the core of every person with narcissistic traits is generally someone with an abnormally strong fear of rejection, low self-esteem, and a fear of losing control.  Working on these things can help reduce the need to always be right or dominate others.", "comment": "My subtle narcissism robs me of fulfilling relationships as i am often quick to dominate other people with my perspective instead of trying to understand theirs. Think im naturally wired this way but want to make a change.", "post_id": "elap70", "comment_id": "fdha4c2"}, {"question": "Well done. Your teeth would thank you if they could \ud83d\ude01", "comment": "Now that I\u2019m over 100 days in I\u2019m feeling so grateful for so much even things that seem insignificant.\n\n- waking up with out a hangover \n- making my bed every morning \n- brushing and flossing my my teeth twice a day \n- washing my face twice a day \n- actually being able to stick to a whitening routine (my teeth are actually whiter for the first time ever!)\n- not wasting all of my sick time/PTO on hangovers! (I already saved up enough PTO to take a weeks vacation!)\n- actually giving my dog the attention and time he deserves!\n- not fighting with my husband over nonsense\n- remembering my moms birthday and taking her out for lunch\n- cleaning my house (still working on this but I\u2019m definitely getting better at it!)\n- consistently writing in a journal \n- early weekend breakfasts \n- sleeping in because I want to not because I\u2019m in to much pain to get up\n- remembering going to bed every night \n- not worrying about getting a DUI or crashing my car \n- not waking up with intense fear and anxiety after black outs\n- being able to recognize when I\u2019ve messed up and own up to it\n\nI have control of my life for what seems like the first time ever, I still have bad days and I still get cravings, but as time goes on they seem to get fewer and far between. \n\nThis sub was the first resource I found once I finally decided things needed to stop once and for all and it definitely put me on the right path, I can\u2019t express how grateful I am for everyone here!\n\nThanks,\nIwndwyt ", "post_id": "8utehg", "comment_id": "e1itga7"}, {"question": "It's natural to be concerned but I would make an effort to not make an issue out of it unless the issue becomes specifically relevant to him (like if people are saying things about violence to him directly).  Most parents are well intentioned, but in my experience, actions of concerned parents can 'stir the pot' and this can be a greater stress to an aspie kid than an issue that may be a valid concern but is not necessarily relevant to the child's firsthand experiences. \n\nThat also brings up the question of whose business it is that he is on the spectrum to begin with.  If people don't know, they likely won't talk to him about it. It won't stop all bullying, but may stop the specific type you discuss here. ", "comment": "I fear that with the news stories of Elliot Rodger having Asperger's that my son will be looked at differently. My son is a gentle and loving boy whose therapists have said has mild Asperger's. But he is still on the autism spectrum. He does tend to have meltdowns in public from time to time. But never displays any violent tendencies. He is very loving towards his two sisters as well as the other children in the neighborhood. He has been bullied by one of his \"friends\", but he doesn't want to tell the kid's parents out of fear that his \"friend\" will get in trouble. I realize that my son is going to go through some tough times. I just don't want people to automatically assume that Asperger's or autistic people are going to become crazy murderers.", "post_id": "26ml8d", "comment_id": "chsrxw1"}, {"question": "sounds like your preference is really as a best friend. you'll have to talk with him and hope he's ok with the change", "comment": "This may be a bit long and ramble-y. Throwaway because friends know my real account.\n\nEmotions don't make a lot of sense to me. I can understand basic stuff, but when it comes to things like feelings for other people, I just get really confused and it makes my head feel really foggy. I know I care deeply for all of my friends. I do know that I know how it feels to care platonically about someone. I know I love my little sisters and my friends. But I'm not sure if I've ever experienced or would even recognize romantic feelings.\n\nI've dated before. And of course, every time, I thought I loved the person. That's how it goes, and I'm young. I just broke up with my previous girlfriend of 2 years a few months ago, and I was certain I loved her. We lived together for awhile and I was convinced I wanted to spend my life with her until I realized she was toxic and didn't want me to have any sort of friends besides her. She was forcing me to cut contact with pretty much everyone and it took me way to long to realize what she was doing. But I thought I loved her. And I am 100% for sure I did at the very least care deeply for her. Even after the break up, I was concerned for her well being and wanted to help when able. But it took me less than a month to be completely over her and to decide whatever love I thought I had either just wasn't actually love or it was already gone. \n\nNow, I'm currently sleeping with my best friend of 3ish years (which I would assume has something to do with the confusing feelings). This is where things get complicated and confusing for me. I don't *think* I like him romantically. I have no desire to kiss him or anything like that. But I do want to be able to hold his hand and cuddle him, which makes it a little confusing. But that's not even the part that's really screwing with me, because I get that wanting to touch just comes with sex. I keep finding thoughts crossing my mind about how he would be a good partner in terms of a relationship. As in, I know he's reliable, and would carry his weight, and would be loyal and not batshit crazy like my ex. It kind of feels like logically I want to date him, but the emotional aspect of that isn't there. I think. Again, I'm not entirely sure what it even feels like to have those sorts of feelings for someone? \n\nIt's taken me forever to get to the point, but basically, I don't know what to do about these feelings. If I try to crack it apart and put it into coherent thought, it seems like I want to date him platonically if that even makes any sense. But it somehow still doesn't make sense to me even though I'm the one saying it. Like I could see myself potentially having a stable future with him if I pursued it, but at the same time it wouldn't bother me for him to sleep with someone else. Kind of as if I want commitment without commitment. He's my best friend and I want to be with him and yet not like the way stereotypical relationships are. I know this makes very little sense, trying to think about this makes my head feel foggy and leaves me incredibly confused. I had an anxiety attack yesterday trying to force it make sense to myself, for some dumb reason. I'm not even sure how what I seem to want would be any different from what we're already doing aside from formalities.\n\n\n**TL;DR: I want to date my friend that I'm already sleeping with but I don't think I feel romantically for him. I have no damn clue what my brain is trying to think, I don't understand what I'm feeling or wanting at all.**", "post_id": "5ktd4c", "comment_id": "dbqgnpv"}, {"question": "Thanks for sharing your experience. I agree that there is so much work that need me to be done to address the issues within the system. But, even as flawed as the system is right now, it can still help people.", "comment": "I, have sent a good majority of the last two years in mental hospitals, RTCs as well as Outpatient programs.\n\nAnd the shit that me and those I've met in there have seen go on there is just, impressively fucked up.\n\nIn between me and others I've known, I've seen:\n\n\\- A creepy psychiatrist who told a kid if they really wanted to die they should just fake getting better to get out.\n\n\\- A dietitian that refused to accommodate a boy with a sensory disorder, causing him to lose like 20 pounds in a few weeks.\n\n\\- Staff outright refusing to admit obvious mistakes\n\n\\- Therapists snapping at patients\n\n\\- Incredibly unnecessary amounts of physical force used to stop patients. \n\n\\- Restraining paranoid patients with no consideration for how it would worsen their paranoia\n\n\\- A kid with extremely mild autism being put in a ward where everybody else could barely talk, driving him completely fucking insane while he constantly begged to be put into our ward. \n\n\\- And when I got put in a psych ward because they thought I was going to kill somebody, I was literally put in a metal box, probably 9 x 7 feet in size, while hearing nothing but the mad screaming of other patients.\n\n**But despite ALL of that, my time in the system has saved my life.**\n\nI'm on good medication now, have learned coping skills, met some amazing people who genuinely changed my life, made friendships, even if they haven't all lasted, learned tons about psychology, not only my own, but that of others as well, \n\nI will always tell the horror stories of those places, because it's a conversation that needs to be had, but is NOT being had anywhere.\n\nThe media, alternative and mainstream, have never brought these stories to light, and I will continue to do my part in raising awareness for how the ongoing problems that plague the hospitals.\n\nBut at the same time, when someone is really struggling I DO want them to go to these places. \n\nThey can do so much good for rehabilitation, getting people out of dangerous and toxic environments, giving people room to breathe and heal set apart from the rest of the world. Give people tools to deal with their problems.\n\nAnd I think possibly one of the biggest ones, is being able to quickly and efficiently get you on the medications you need.\n\nOrdinarily it can take years to find the proper medication, and it still does in many cases, but being in a controlled environment where you can request changes and give updates on your condition at any time, and where you do not run the risk of being put in danger due to unforeseen side effects. You are able to get onto medications you need in a timely and safe matter. \n\nOn top of that, the social aspect of meeting others like you can really help for growth and healing. \n\nthere is so much good to be done here, but I have a hard time convincing people to get help because of all the bad that also goes down. \n\nIf you are feeling suicidal, and you really think something bad is about to happen, please please please get help.\n\nI know its scary, but it is so necessary. \n\nAnd I mean, it can honestly be kinda fun if you let it. I started playing D&D with other patients, and that's been some of the most entertaining moments of my life. \n\nI remember making a game out of stealing sugar from the cafeteria and that lead to some of the funniest things I've seen in my entire life. \n\nIdk, its hard to convince people because its such a mixed bag, there is an incredibly good chance, especially if you are a minor, that at some point you will just want to go home, but its so important that you get help.\n\nSo yeah, just needed to filter my thoughts.\n\nDon't be afraid to get help, please.", "post_id": "dxf5l0", "comment_id": "f7pmj7h"}, {"question": "Bit of a strange way to start lithium. Where are you based? What brand of lithium is it?", "comment": "22 y/o white female; 5'4\", 190ish lbs. Currently on 150mg bupropion HCL XL, 20 mg amphetamine salts XR, 1.5 mg clonazepam, and 600 mg lithium carbonate.\n\nDiagnosed with rapid cycling BPI w/ psychotic features, GAD, CD/FND, ADHD, and BPD. Have PCOS and related iron deficiency anemia, plaque psoriasis. \n\nI've been on lithium for about a week and a half. Not really any problems with it until now.\n\nI was start on 150 mg for two days, then 300 mg for five. Then up to 600 mg (300 mg x2 daily) this past Friday. This is day three of morning and evening dose.\n\n~1-2 hours ago, I suddenly started having stomach pain and got nauseous. My anxiety shot through the roof around that time; I can't identify the cause.\n\n~I've felt out of it and weird all day; my boyfriend has asked several times if I'm okay. \n\n~Dizzy... I think... My head just feels kind of airy.\n\n~I have tremors regardless, but lithium has made them worse. They're pretty pronounced right now. \n\nMedications have a history of hating me. My lamotrigine turned on me after two years and I developed a SJS-type rash.\n\nI want to work today, but I work in food, and just in general, working with lithium toxicity is a bad.", "post_id": "6wf0ap", "comment_id": "dma9mvf"}, {"question": "In my opinion you are experiencing burn-out symptoms. If you have vacation days, take them.\n\n", "comment": "Been working with the mentally ill for almost 5 years (now as a psych RN), working acute psych, detox, rehab, and adolescent. I came from medical nursing and, for the first few years, felt my understanding of mental illness growing. Lately, however, I've become more confused (and/or disillusioned) by the entire field. \n\nAs for my confusion - In acute psych in particular, the lack of patient insight distresses me. I've watched documentaries, PSAs, etc. where seemingly \"normal\" people speak about their struggles with schizophrenia or bipolar. My patients almost exclusively show no insight into their condition or are in some type of denial. They seem to exist only in the present, with very little insight into their past or future. I've had professors, physicians, professional athletes whose mental illness now defines them. They are no longer able to function as they once did. Do they remember their past lives in detail? Are they terrified/confused by the drastic change in their life? They don't appear to be. What's going through the mind of a schizophrenic with mostly negative symptoms - staring into the ceiling day after day, saying nothing?\n\nI'm mostly disillusioned by the pharmaceutical side of mental illness. Maybe it's just my current facility (or a few of the facility's physicians), but is it common to continually chase symptoms with new meds? I have many pt's on 10-20 meds, with new orders daily (e.g. seroquel tid, wellbutrin bid, xanax tid, cogentin, benadryl, buspar, vistaril prn, zyprexa prn, trazodone qhs.....plus medical - robaxin, neurontin, etc). Again, i'm an RN not an MD, but at some point, I start to wonder if there's any way for someone to be stable on this amount of meds.\n\nSorry this is kind of all over the place...having a hard time gathering my own thoughts and emotions lately and that might be part of why i'm having such a difficult time lately with this stuff. I have extreme empathy for my pt's and love working in mental health - i don't think i'll ever go back to medical nursing. At this rate, however, if i don't get a good grasp on whether what we're doing is the right thing (or at least leading towards the right thing), I may have to leave the field. Guess I'm hoping for someone to put it in a way that makes more sense to me. ", "post_id": "3xwzxv", "comment_id": "cyakdmq"}, {"question": "Thanks for opening up. This helped me. \n\nIWNDWYT ", "comment": "I\u2019ve had enough guilt, headaches, hangovers, and anxiety.\n\nToday I woke up in an awful mood, super depressed and hungover, yelled at my mother who was just trying to come visit me on her one day off a week, made her cry, and immediately wanted to pick up a bottle. I\u2019m DONE.\nI\u2019m going to bed sober tonight, waking up sober tomorrow, and I\u2019ll work hard tomorrow to repeat the cycle.. but for now IWNDWYT", "post_id": "9o6kw1", "comment_id": "e7s53g7"}, {"question": "people don't stick to things either because they have ADD or a mental illness, or they have an unrealistic expectation of success and excellence.  even people who have a tremendous passion, still have to 'grind it out'. so.... the passion is exciting, but the getting there can be laborious and even boring.  think of a great musician practicing repetitive phrases for hours on end. or a famous ballplayer practicing one tiny component endlessly. or a great scientist doing tedious repetitive experiments.", "comment": "Hello fellow redditors!\n\n\nForgive me if the title is a tad bit, well, let's say \"sensational\" but I hope to find some serious and very specific advice, catered to my self (That's really selfish, I know)\n\n\n**To get to the point:**\nI want to find and do something in life which makes me forget to sleep or eat. Something I can't stop thinking about no matter what happens. Something I will be obsessed about till the very end and not neglect it one month down the line. I want to find something I can work my ass off for. Something I am willing to give up \"leisure time\" for, cause I won't need it anymore when I find it. \n**How can I find my final obsession?**\n\n\nI have always been a person who can never stick with one specific thing for too long. I'd find something new and make it the focus point of my life but only for about 2 months or so, then I'd move on and find the next new thing (Kinda ironic, huh? Whatever result this thread will bring, if any, will probably end up the same, though I'm really hoping for SOMETHING, but then again, maybe I'm just insane by trying the same thing once again but I want to finally break this vicious circle). \n\n\nYou could say that I'm kinda driven by novelty, though I don't know how to use that to my advantage in my professional life.\nIt, of course, has it's perks, but I don't think that I am utilizing them very well atm.\n\n\nAlso I don't really know how to structure this post, so bear with me :(\n\n\nIf it means anything I'm still pretty young (soon to be 22) am currently studying at a university (though I'm not rly happy with what I'm doing there). I just want something to change. Fk it. I want to achieve something for myself, something I can feel proud of (and I don't mean something worthless degree I can wipe my ass with, things like these don't mean a thing to me. Knowledge + achievement beats a piece of paper any time of day).\n\n\nI know it isn't very realistic to expect someone to find something like that for me, especially without even knowing me, so if you can't give me advice on finding such a miraculous thing, tell me what my best course of action could be if such a thing does not exist.\n\n\n*Additional notes after writing this whole thing:*\nIf I'd rationally try to deconstruct this post for myself the advice I would give myself would be to \"accept that I can't just do one thing and that this is one of my strengths\n\n\nI appreciate every single one of you trying to help this stupid, selfish boy, you are a gift to this earth (and despite my language in this post I'm actually quite a confident person, so don't worry about it)\nThank you very much!", "post_id": "5z8odm", "comment_id": "dewbg7q"}, {"question": "This [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) should be a good start :) Good luck!", "comment": "I know this is not necessarily concerning relationships between certain persons, but I just want to have help from somewhere, and there are many users that are on this subreddit.\n\nSo, without further ado, I seem to always (I do this to everyone, not just to my crush) ramble on about one topic for too long. It seems as though I have so many thoughts about a single topic, that I feel the need to spew them all out in one sitting, which, if left unrestrained, could go on for a long time.\n\nAlso, I have a hard time spurring on the conversation, i.e., I can talk about something for hours but if someone does not start a conversation with me, I will 99% of the time remain taciturn.\n\nAll these tendencies that I just referred to are common for me speaking to everyone, but magnified 10 fold when around my crush. There is also a tendency for me to not express emotions very well and empathize for other people, which could lead other people to think that I am an uncaring, rude person (and I for sure don't want my crush to think that!).\n\nIt's very hard for me to socialize just about seemingly menial things to me, due to the fact that I am very intellectual (not in a bragging way, I just lean towards academics and the pursuit of knowledge more so than talking about a movie that just came out). I want to be able to at least be able to talk to my crush about her life and come about it in a non-awkward (due to the previous statement of me not being able to start conversations very well, I make it awkward when I do start one), caring way that makes her feel comfortable around me.\nSorry for this long paragraph, but I would like some help on this subject. Thank you very much!", "post_id": "13wphs", "comment_id": "c77vkvs"}, {"question": "Tough read..my thoughts are with you and your family. Glad to read that your kids will be able to hang out with what may be the best version of yourself. Good luck mate, IWNDWYT. ", "comment": "My wife told me she wanted a divorce on October 26th. Last Tuesday I found out she had met a guy 6 days before that, ducked him 2 days later and lied to be about it for about 3 weeks. The night she told me she wanted a divorce was the last night I had a drink. I\u2019ve been working out, eating better and have gone from 284 pounds to 257 when I weighted myself Tuesday. We started couples therapy yesterday (although I\u2019m not sure how receptive she will be to it) and I\u2019m going to my first A.A. meeting tonight. I don\u2019t feel like I ever want to drink again but this is the longest I\u2019ve ever been sober since I started drinking. With everything else going on, I know it\u2019s going to get worse and I want to make sure I don\u2019t relapse. We have 3 kids ages 8,4, and 2. They are all I am tying to focus on. Although I would love to fix things with my wife, she currently does not share the same mindset. Although the guy has already ended things with her (after 5 weeks together) I wasn\u2019t the best husband and I don\u2019t know if I can get her back. I don\u2019t know any of you, but I love you all and I hope to spend a lot more time here going forward.", "post_id": "a18skd", "comment_id": "eao5oog"}, {"question": "I suggest finding a CBT Therapist who will support you in becoming your own Therapist.", "comment": "So I\u2019ve been depressed for about 8 years now, but it\u2019s been somewhat under control so that i can go about my daily life with no problem. \nSo as most of y\u2019all know today is Father\u2019s Day, and I just don\u2019t understand the sentimentality of celebrating mothers/fathers day, or Christmas or my birthday for that matter. Like great you have a kid, great I\u2019m another year older, great some guy was born ~2000 years ago. It\u2019s gotten worse as I\u2019ve gotten older. I just \u201ccelebrated\u201d my 26th birthday and I did it alone. No one there just me watching game of thrones with pizza. Everyone else was on a vacation to the beach that I didn\u2019t care enough to go on. Like I feel like I should care about these things but I don\u2019t. I just don\u2019t care. Maybe it\u2019s time to go back to my doctor and to start seeing a therapist again, but I don\u2019t want to rely on doctors and medications for me to care about stuff again. ", "post_id": "8ruhsc", "comment_id": "e0wk7to"}, {"question": "A few ideas I have: \n\n- a weighted blanket in a safe place at home \n\n- taking a walk (again in a safe place) with music that matches your mood (angry, sad, or anything else) \n\n- 5 senses grounding, 5 things you can see described in great detail, 4 things you can hear, 3 you can feel, 2 smells, 1 taste \n\n- you may ask your therapist to help you choose a grounding object that you can keep with you \n\n- Yoga, try searching Yoga with Adriene PTSD on Youtube\n\nCombine all the above with deep breathing (I like four square breathing so breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4 and repeat) and self compassion. Your heart rate is doing its best to protect you. Good luck!", "comment": "I've been doing face-in-cold-water/mammalian dive, to limited effect, and reverse-ratio breathing, and attempted muscle relaxation.  My pulse is still 88-136.  Maybe that is as low as I can get it to go under the circumstances.", "post_id": "a9xhhw", "comment_id": "ecopzou"}, {"question": "Look up depersonalization as a form of disassociation. It sounds more like  disassociation from the way you described it but I have also run into that form of expression of depersonalization where you cease feeling like you are an actual person to some extent. ", "comment": "Sometimes during episodes I feel like I don't know anybody around me. Even if it's my fiance and his family I still feel like I don't know them and that I need to be somewhere else with familiar people, but at the same time I dont know where I need to be. It's a shear panic feeling that I get. It feels like my whole world is crumbling beneath me and that everyone is a stranger. \n\nI'm sorry if that doesn't make much sense, but the feeling is nearly indiscribable and I did my best. \n\nDoes anyone else get this way? ", "post_id": "9fguz1", "comment_id": "e5wq1eb"}, {"question": "I will not drink with you today and during the month of November!  I'm looking forward to my first Thanksgiving sober.", "comment": "Anyone want to do it with me??  I can go about three days without drinking and BOOM I am back to drinking again. I am 37 and I just cant drink/RECOVER like I used to.  I really want to challenge myself to do No Drink November.  I have told myself I can drink on Thanksgiving. That is exactly four weeks sober from the 1st-28th.  The longest I have ever gone since being pregnant and the first few weeks after having my child (9 years ago!)  was 16 days and that was back in March and yes I went to AA.  I just need to see what my life will be like without it but I dont want to commit to FOREVER (yet) So can I commit to 28 days??   Will any of you do it with me?", "post_id": "dmx7xm", "comment_id": "f55panv"}, {"question": "No matter what you decide to do, the most important thing is that you are firm with your boundaries and consistent.  Don't give him deadlines or consequences for breaking house rules and then not follow up with them or continuously extend deadlines.\n\n\nI really like the idea of having it be a dry house.  I'd also suggest something like no using your internet/wifi, etc. for video games unless he is contributing towards rent/bills.  \n\nHe's not going to be happy with any of this and will likely try to make you feel bad or look like the bad guy.  \n\nSomething important for good parents dealing with adult children living in their homes and siblings in situations like yours is this.  You love them.  You don't want them to be homeless.  You want to provide a safe place for them.  That doesn't mean that you have to provide a comfortable place for them.  In fact, the more comfortable a place you make it or allow them to have equal power without equal responsibility (ie. Having a say in house rules, what they can/can't do, etc. while not paying half the rent/bills) the less likely they'll ever be to act responsibly and independently.  \n\n\nThe idea is to make it so uncomfortable through not allowing them to do the things they want to do that they decide it would be better off to work hard and be responsible in order to pay for their freedom to do what they want in their own place.  \n\nIe. If I had a child who had graduated high school and was still living with me, I'd have them paying money for rent (which I'd probably secretly keep aside for them to create an emergency fund for down the line), helping out with chores, while STILL following all of my house rules and not giving them the full freedom of adulthood.  \n\nIt likely wouldn't be long before they did what they needed to do to get their own place.  Once they did that, I'd make sure I gave them plenty of praise and even reward them for taking the initiative with housewarming gifts and whatever else would help make them feel proud of moving out on their own.", "comment": "I (27f) don\u2019t know what to do for/ about my brother (24m)\n \nHe is severely depressed, I don\u2019t think he knows what being just \u201cok\u201d feels like. He has been this way since childhood. Our mom died and we had a monster of a step mom, both of which contributed to his low self worth and complete lack of motivation. \n \nI\u2019ve been called an enabler by my parents, neither of whom are very nurturing. My step mom is borderline mentally abusing and my dad is passive and brainwashed to agree with her so as to avoid blow ups. \n \nThrough the years I have done what I thought were helpful things, paying his phone bill, buying him clothes, hand holding during processes like paying taxes or getting his oil changed. Things he wouldn\u2019t always do on his own. \n \nAbout three months ago he left a good job for a shady under the table job, all for the sake of a few more dollars an hour.  No one was surprised when a month later the shady job ghosted him. Things like this are a pattern in his life. He does not think ahead and will leave a year round job for a seasonal job that pays a tiny bit more, with no plans for when that job ends. \n\nAs a result, he found himself displaced, losing his apartment when he couldn\u2019t pay rent. \n \nI wasn\u2019t going to let him be homeless. I let him move into my new apartment. He was supposed to be here two weeks, until he could get a job and move in with his friend. \n \nIt has been over a month, he drinks a 6 pack a night, using a gift card from Christmas (intended for gas) to pay for it and plays video games all day. His friend has flaked on him, I assume to avoid the situation I am in currently.\n \nI am a full time college student. Being able to pay rent and feed myself was stressful enough, without the added financial burden. I have told him how stressful paying for him has been and do think he feels bad. \n \nWhen it got well past the point of taking advantage, I decided to set some rules. I gave him two weeks to get a job or pack his things. I also laid out a plan for my expectations on at what point I expect him to start helping with rent. In the meantime he is doing all the dishes and walking my dog when I\u2019m gone. \n \nIn a typical move for him, he continued to be generally unmotivated.  Only  applying to only a handful of jobs online, waiting until two days before the deadline to job hunt outside the apartment. And, again, surprising no one, he got hired on the spot. He has always been just lucky enough to avoid most real life consequences.\n \nI believe that at a certain point you can no longer blame your behavior on the past; once you acknowledge the problem there is no excuse for not trying to better yourself. Which is why I struggle when it comes to my brother. I am torn between wanting to care for him and wanting him to better himself and be happy.\n\nThe ball is currently in my court since he is living with me for free until he squares his debts.\nI would like to enforce rules that deal with his underlying issues. I was contemplating a \u201cdry apartment\u201d rule and giving him a deadline to start seeing a therapist, something he has been open to in the past. The no alcohol rule is going to be tough, and he will be mad about it. I\u2019m not sure it can be all or nothing. \n \nI am not sure what a reasonable level of rules would be, and I know I can\u2019t make empty threats about him moving out.\n \nI don\u2019t know what to do or how to help him. All feedback is welcome.\n \nTldr: I\u2019m potentially enabling my brother who is living with me for free. While he did get a job two days ago, I would like to enforce rules that address his underling issues of depression and potential alcoholism.", "post_id": "ezwfej", "comment_id": "fgq0157"}, {"question": ">eat soap with a spoon\n\nMy first recommendation is to stop eating soap. It's not good for you. And it's definitely a fork food.\n\nEveryone has a little bit of physiological tremor both and rest and with movement. It's part of how we're built. If this seems new or is causing problems for you, talk with your doctor (and likely get a referral to a neurologist). Otherwise you're probably just noticing one of the quirks of human biology.\n\n​", "comment": "Recently my wife noticed, and then I noticed, that I seem to have a slight intentional tremor in only my right hand when I do something like eat soap with a spoon or place a screwdriver on the head of a screw. It\u2019s barely noticeable but it\u2019s there. I don\u2019t have any other symptoms that I have noticed. Any idea what this could be and if I should be concerned. \n\nMale\nJust turned 44\n6\u20194\u201d\n208 lbs", "post_id": "a4qjl9", "comment_id": "ebgsgd9"}, {"question": "too complex for redditors; please go to marriage counseling", "comment": "What do you do when you feel unloved? Overlooked?  Like a second thought in your husband\u2019s life?  When nothing you do will ever bring you first?  Or be enough though you do everything from washing his socks to talking him off a ledge about work. When a job that he hates is more important?  When he takes but never gives?  When it\u2019s not even his fault because it is who he is and you knew that from the get go?  What do you do when you start to hate every holiday or event in life because you know he\u2019s going to either flat out ignore it or begrudgingly do something at the last minute that\u2019s going to make you feel even worse because you know he\u2019s only doing it because he is supposed to not because he wants to?  When all you want is for him to WANT to make you happy and actually put effort in?  What do you do when he\u2019s your best friend but his inability to be present, thoughtful, considerate, or grateful makes you die a little more every day?  What do you do when the thought of leaving him makes you sick and isn\u2019t something you are willing to do because he\u2019s not a bad guy he\u2019s just him and you knew that all along?  How does one accept what their partner has to offer and not want what they know they can\u2019t have?", "post_id": "5t8dmb", "comment_id": "ddl1nrx"}, {"question": "Well done. ", "comment": "I quit drinking a year ago because I was about to go to jail for a serious DUI. Before that I was unemployed and drinking a fifth of whiskey a day+. I was only in jail for 2 months but I was committed to turning my life around and i have stuck to that commitment. I feel like today marks a big milestone for me doing so.\n\nI am now working a full time job and looking toward a brighter future without alcohol holding me back.\n\nI just wanted to post here today to say that if quitting drinking seems like an impossible thing in your life, dont give up. I would have never thought I could do it, yet here I am.  You are stronger than you think and if alcohol is holding you back, just know that leaving it behind is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself and for those who care about you.\n\nThanks for reading and I will not drink with all of you today.\n\n\nEdit: I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words. This is a great community and it makes me happy to see all of the positivity for each other. Thank you so much and congrats to all of you, too!", "post_id": "8kxjbw", "comment_id": "dzbzgiv"}, {"question": "This is why I lay everything out on the bed first. This also allow s me to avoid \"oh fuck, nothing matches again.\"  ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "73fj1t", "comment_id": "dnqtxw0"}, {"question": "he's close to out of it, but not quite. people change their minds on the way to divorce court. be careful. it's risky. be assertive about asking the right questions. if he hasn't filed in the month, i'd be worried.", "comment": "In early March, I started seeing this guy. He is super cool and I like hanging out with him. We seem to go well together so far.\n\nHe was open on our first date about being previously married. It wasn't until we had quiet time to talk that he was able to tell me that the divorce isn't finalized yet. They aren't legally separated, either. They've been apart for at least 8 or 9 months.  They're both dating other people. It's just not on paper.\n\nI talked to him a bit about this, and he told me that he will get it done. He has a few things that are more time-sensitive, like his car registration, paying off the loan, finishing taxes. I understand this. I do. But why does it bother me? \n\nIt's also frustrating when I talk to my parents, because I accidentally told my stepmom that I really like him one morning after making my margarita too strong (which was my evening since I work nights. I swear I'm not drinking when I wake up!).  She told me yesterday that he basically doesn't exist to them until the divorce is finalized. Which frustrated me. I'm an adult who can make my own fucking decisions.\n\nAm I being irrational about this whole thing? I don't know.  I'm a little jealous of his ex because he loved her, which feels stupid. I really do like this guy.\n\nTL;DR I met a cool guy and he's legally married, and I don't know if it should bother me. I don't understand my feelings. ", "post_id": "6aquvb", "comment_id": "dhgvheo"}, {"question": "It still hurts how the people I became so close to my first year of recovery ghosted when my schedule picked up/I had to go back on stimulant meds for my adhd. My one friend who I had laughed with weeks earlier about wanting to kill ourselves over the smallest inconvenience (bc that would be easier than grocery shopping (dark humor ftw)) told me that she had \u201cdecided to be happy now and didn\u2019t want any negativity around.\u201d  I walked into my home group and felt unwelcome. I have 2.5 years. Haven\u2019t been to a meeting in maybe 1.5 (other than with mom recently since she just got out of rehab). \n\nI just make sure that the things that helped me exist in my life still. My best friends know my history. I tell on myself. I go to therapy. I take my moral inventory. I miss the camaraderie and feeling like I finally was with people like me, but realized they weren\u2019t like me in the ways that mattered. ", "comment": "Hey guys, something has been on my mind for a while. \n\nThe 1st of the month will be 2 years for me. I started my recovery in a 6 month sober living environment that preached AA and mandated church on Sundays. I'm not religious and church was just a thing I did to stay in the program. I found some sort of spirituality and worked the steps with a sponsor.\n\n I eventually moved and found a different sponsor with long term sobriety, who told me essentially that I knew nothing of the program, and we started over. He's a great guy, and I wanted what he has. I was. Having a lot of issues in life at the time, with my relationship, as well as a pretty devastating house fire, and he ended up getting deeply involved in my relationship problems, and distancing himself when I stuck with her.\n\nThrough this whole year for various reasons I'd find myself getting further away from AA, coming back for a month, leaving for a month, working the steps, not working the steps, etc. Without an urge to use, while life and my ability to react to it steadily improved.\n\nIn a little over a week I will celebrate 2 years with no interest in turning back, with my mental health better than ever, my relationship better than ever, etc. At this point I haven't been to a meeting in 2 months, and prior to that I would say I've been to a combined, maybe 4 meetings I'm the past 6 months. I don't miss it. I keep in contact with 1 buddy who is in the program, and he doesn't judge me for it, but at this point I've been to probably 100 different meetings in 2 counties, and I've never found that group that clicks, or those anchor people who stick with me through it all.\n\nI don't hold any grudges against AA for not having what I want, and I don't miss the meetings or the people.\n\nI'm sure I'm not the only person who originally drank the Kool aid, and then developed a distaste for it as I readapted to life.\n\nDo you have a similar story?", "post_id": "7s6xhy", "comment_id": "dt3qu28"}, {"question": "You're probably better off not drinking at all. Drinking a little bit is safer than drinking more. That's really all the advice a doctor can give you. Not everyone can follow all medical advice. Because you mention depression and anxiety and haven't described anything else about it, I hope you are getting treatment for those things. Self-treatment with alcohol is easily self-sabotaging. (Enjoying alcohol in reasonable amounts despite depression is fine except for the liver disease.)\n\nIf your liver disease progresses at all, you would want to stop drinking entirely, because the reason for progressive cirrhosis is unclear and, if it does get to the point that transplant is on the table, having already demonstrated the ability to abstain from alcohol entirely will help. That's an unlikely worst case.", "comment": "Hello, I'm overweight and have moderate NAFLD, probably due to my weight. I'm treating it with diet and exercise, and I've been told to abstain from alcohol, however, it's been difficult because I'm depressed, anxious and the treatment is such a big pain in the ass that I'm getting even more depressed. Tasting liquor is one of the few things I enjoy yet, it doesn't even need to be a big amount. I wonder if that advice should be taken absolutely or if I can drink modestly, like 25 to 30ml of 40% alcohol per day two or three times a week. This should be enough to me.", "post_id": "jt6sbk", "comment_id": "gc3sq2b"}, {"question": "Which SSRI you are taking, and what dose, make a difference. You also mention being told to gain weight but not your weight or height now, which are helpful.\n\nIt sounds like you have had a workup, but have you seen a headache specialist? Usually in neurology, although not always.", "comment": "25M. I have constant chronic pressure headaches that worsen with exertion. I get daily migraines. I am constantly unable to think clearly. My stomach hurts on and off, with very sharp pains or a constant ache. I am unable to sit up for longer than 3 hours. I am unable to drive longer than 5 minutes. I am unable to stand for 5 minutes. I have not been able to work for the past month. My girlfriend prepares my food for me. I have not gone outside my town in months. My girlfriend drives me around. I feel nauseated after every meal. I cannot carry anything heavy because it hurts my neck immensely. I cannot raise my arms above my head without getting lightheaded. Laying on my back with legs up gives me enormous head pressure like it\u2019s going to pop. I cannot sleep at night because head is squeezing. My eyes close because pain is so bad and my muscles start spasming. Every day it is like this. Pure torture.\n\nMy doctors only advice was to gain weight and have me SSRI. I started taking it month ago and nothing has changed. I am trying to gain weight and everything is worse. I ask doctor and he says pain is just in your mind and nothing is wrong. I have done tests and they are normal. I do chin ups and those make my neck hurt badly.\n\nThey did mri and everything was normal. I am at loss and don\u2019t know what to do now\n\nMy girlfriend asks me if one day I will be better. She cries everyday because our life is hard. If I will be able to raise kids and take care of myself and I said yes. But I am lying. \n\nI don\u2019t think I will ever get better, especially because my doctor is not helping me. I don\u2019t even know what I need to do to feel better. I have tried multiple OTC medications and SSRI and none of them have helped me. My doctor says I\u2019m overreacting. Says I need to push through. I am exhausted. Will not give medicine. Says my symptoms are factitious and anxiety driven.\n\nI was not depressed or anxious until this all started. Doctor has timeline wrong. Ssri isn\u2019t helping. Life is miserable. Might go back to cigarettes alcohol to cope again. Please help me. I cannot stand see girlfriend cry everyday. I am thinking of breaking up so she can live a life she deserves so I can maybe end the suffering.\n\nWhat can I do", "post_id": "f8swlh", "comment_id": "fincx17"}, {"question": "Practice, practice, practice.  The more you expose yourself to rejection and things that make you anxious in general, the less bite it will have over time.  The more you avoid, the stronger the anxiety will be.  Reddit boards, internet dating, etc. aren't going to help you with your anxiety at all. \n\nIf you want to be more social, put yourself in social situations as often as possible. It's really helpful to do it with friends.  \n\nWhen I was single and in my early 20's and fairly socially anxious, my friends and I used to go out to bars and play a little game.  We'd shoot pool or play darts or do whatever and make a bet.  The bet generally involved the winner being able to make up some ridiculously self-deprecating or nerdy pick-up line that the loser would have to use on someone in front of or at least within ear shot of the winner.  Of course, it couldn't be something vulgar or something that would make the person receiving it feel harassed or offended.  \n\nIe.  \"Alright you lost.  So you have to go up to somebody and say ... Hi.  I just wanted to say that I think Dragonball Z is the best show of all time!  Way better than Power Rangers.  Care to discuss?\"\n\nYa know, simple, nerdy, or weird things.  After you do that enough going up to someone and saying \"hey, so how's your day going?\" doesn't trigger the same panic response it once did.  \n\nTake this idea and make it your own!  This obviously wouldn't work for everyone but it helped me out a great deal!  Best of luck.", "comment": "How did you do it? I've been wanting to put myself out there but I don't really know how to. Dating apps are kind of intimidating for me since I don't have good pictures and talking to people in public has always been akward for me.\n\nI just want to get rid of my feelings if loneliness.", "post_id": "80ohse", "comment_id": "dux6z5x"}, {"question": "There\u2019s missing information here. Why do you want to do this?", "comment": "I'm a 27 year old female, 168 lbs, been on Lexapro for twelve years for depression (20 mg). I really want to get off of the Lexapro and do the 5 htp. Should I taper off the Lexapro and once I'm off of it start 5 htp? Stop taking Lexapro and start taking 5 htp? I do plan on asking my doctor about this just wanted some input on the switch. ", "post_id": "ayr53w", "comment_id": "ei2rptz"}, {"question": "You're not cheating. You're enjoying a little fantasy without crossing an overt boundary. But some people feel smiling too much at a waitress is cheating, so it depends more on your spouse's definition.", "comment": "I' m 30, married and with kids. I love my wife, adore my two daughters. Everything is good with my wife, hobbies, sex life, fantastic mutual support.\nOnly one thing bugs me: I have always loved women, in the way that every time I go out I end up having long, tense talking and maybe even dancing with the sweetest face in the place. Getting married and having kids didn't stop this love. I think that it is the combination of having a ring on my left hand and being truly fascinated by the other person (the exact opposite of just-bang-you mentality) that gives me a tremendous success. \nI never kiss them. I never exchange numbers nor facebooks, basically since I live in a big city I'll never see them again.  No big deal. Yet for a few hours I'm back at being the carefree college guy that I'll never be again. Before i made my choiches, mostly good choiches but still choiches made wich by definition means \"less possible futures\". I play a \"sliding doors\" game in my head.  I feel I'm cheating life itself, escaping life's duties.\n\n\nAm I doing something wrong?", "post_id": "782qpc", "comment_id": "doqjbeq"}, {"question": "How often?\n\nWhat's specifically going on when you feel the need to do these movements?", "comment": "Hey everyone this is just something I need help with.\n\n* When I was young I would do these involuntary movements to 'forget' **bad memories/thoughts**. It can be related to tourettes I guess, but it's more of a tic and it's controlled (I'm know that I'm doing it).\n\n* Another instance is something very odd. I would do these involuntary movements to reassure myself that I'm **still going to be good at something**. Say I don't do these movements I would get a slight mental confusion where I'm losing skill in something. It's a very odd instance.\n\nI can definitely stop doing it but it's a mental confusion thing. They would go away but sometimes they would unexpectedly come up after not doing them for a while.\n\nThe involuntary movements would vary in my head turning all the way to the left looking in my peripheral vision for a second, eyebrow movements and tensing my muscles up for a quick second.\n\n\nIs this just a paranoid conscious thing? I mean anxiety definitely increases it but I don't believe that's the stem.", "post_id": "416g5d", "comment_id": "cz00jma"}, {"question": "she's kind of controlling. see a couples counselor and in 3 months you'll know what do. the most important thing by far for a child is the quality time they spend with each parent, not where each parent happens to be sleeping at night.", "comment": "Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years now. The main factor that i take into consideration is the child we have together. Hence why i stay.\n\nOver the course of our relationship my girlfriend has done quite a few hypocritic things that are starting to take a toll on my happiness. A few examples.\n\nI am never to go to the local pub with a mate to have a few games of 8ball with no alcohol involved what so ever. Shes allowed to hang out with her lady friends for dinner at the pub on a saturday night.\n\nIm not allowed to message a female double my age at work about rosters or any work related info. Ive caught some guy messaging her and shes been deleting the conversation between them. She assures me there is no funny business or cheating going on.\n\nShes allowed to have a woman from work the rathers the company of other women. I am not.\n\nThings like this have been happening over our relationship and now it starting to take a toll over my hapiness and sanity. Its easier for her to say just leave but my main priority is our child. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE HES BEING ABANDONED..\n\nAny advice would be great and appreciated..", "post_id": "5ql0b9", "comment_id": "dd060gy"}, {"question": "I'm so sorry you're in this situation.  It sounds beyond awful.  Also, your father pisses me off.\n\nDepression is part chemicals, and part environment.  Environment affects people significantly - see the case of a girl called by the name Genie, for a very extreme example.\n\nAlso, do not ever doubt that emotional abuse and psychological manipulation are still abuse that is potentially just as bad and damaging as anything physical, depending on what it is.  I'll be honest - your dad is a real piece of work.  That behavior would start to harm anyone, frankly, even people not predisposed to mental illness.\n\nPeople commenting on weight, body type, and a lack/abundance of inappropriate masculinity or femininity create mental illness.  This is documented scientifically, even.  Shame on him for doing that.  It makes me angry whenever anyone says someone's been doing this.  That's legit how people start to get eating disorders and abuse themselves as they internalize the comments.  \n\nI think that your desire to not be around anymore is a healthy one.  It seems like you know what you want, and you know what will make you satisfied and content.  As for regret...\n\nAs an old lady (I say this making fun of myself - I'm 35), you will always have regrets.  That's life, you know?  Even the best decisions can come with small ones.  \n\nI can't decide what's right or wrong for you as I'm not you.  I can say that there is no shame in living a life free of mental, physical, or spiritual abuse.  There is no shame in realizing an abusive situation for what it is and wanting to distance yourself from it.  \n\nSometimes we best appreciate people from a distance.  It gives us perspective, as well as space for when things get too painful.  You can't change your father.  You can only control your reactions to him and the choices you make.\n\nWhatever you decide, good luck!  If you ever need to talk, feel free to toss me a message.\n\n\n", "comment": "I'd like to say that the major depression and anxiety I have is all the chemicals in my head gone wrong. \n\nWhile that may be the case, nothing can hide the fact that even the thought of going to my dad's house sends me into a physically ill, depressed panic. And yet, I'm still here.\n\nWhen my parents initially got divorced, it wasn't so bad. Then my dad got married, and right around then I was starting to become more aware of what was going on. Growing up, and all that. That's when going to my dad's started to hold some serious negative connotations.\n\nHe never hit me. He never starved me. The only thing he did was nag and berate me about things I do wrong, how I need to get ALL A's, not just A's and B's. He would put me down about my weight. About how, at age 12, I should be interested in clothes and makeup like the other girls. \n\nIt's continued to escalate. When I got my license, he bought me a car in the hopes that I'd move in with him. That plan backfired. I didn't go to his house for nearly a year - only on major holidays that it was planned for me to go there.\n\nHe begged me to break up with my boyfriend last summer (we had been together for 2 years at this point) because he wasn't going to college and I was. He said I needed to go out and party, and not let an uneducated kid hold me back. (Still with said boyfriend, who is doing quite well working a full time job). I'm leaving in a week for my second year at college now.\n\nI just am not sure how to go about this. \n\nI don't want to be around anymore. I'm not sure how I was able to forgo spending time here that first year I had my car. All he's done is guilt trip me this summer about how I don't spend time here. I can't remember him doing it then. But I just want to make sure I get away from here. Far away. And only come back when absolutely necessary. \n\nHe's not exactly a TERRIBLE father... at least, compared to other terrible fathers. But to be fully honest... I almost would have rather he walked out. He's never been appreciative of hard work - only talent and legitimate success. Do, there is no try. He uses material items to gain control over people... but they stopped working on me a long time ago. He's just... he's not really a great guy like he comes off as. And its not just him that makes me not want to be here - his bitch wife is a huge problem too. She's horrible, judgmental, and still acts like she's the freaking senior prom queen (which she might have been...). The exact opposite of everything I am.\n\nI don't really know what the point of this post was. I just kinda needed to get it out. Maybe how to deal with guilt trips, I guess. How to make me appreciate my father more... or to push him farther away. I'm not totally sure what I want. I don't want to do anything I'll regret though. Which, at this point, I can't really tell which direction I'll regret more.\n\nTL;DR: Daddy issues. But not in the sexual sense.", "post_id": "ys01z", "comment_id": "c5ych17"}, {"question": "Hahaha I love this and I often go to write a post like this.", "comment": "...and if you're pregnant with ADHD, just know everything will be okay :)", "post_id": "by0q6m", "comment_id": "eqbtda2"}, {"question": "she should see a therapist too.", "comment": "I [22/m] am a college student and the only source of income making 15k/yr with no savings and my girlfriend [22/f] who has a bachelors degree is currently supporting us with her savings, which is safe to say substantially more than mine. She recently quit her last job because of reasons and now she is in between jobs. For the past couple weeks she has been sleepy and sad, watching lots of tv and reading. We have gone out to do some things and she really enjoys her time. Our sex is great and we enjoy living with each other with little bickering throughout the day. We don't fight too much.  However, when I try to talk to her about looking for a job or a few other serious conversations, she shuts down and gets mad at me. I have a temper that is hard to keep down sometimes, but for all that I remained fairly calm. She has a hard time hearing what she doesn't want to hear. She asked me two weeks ago to not talk to her about looking for a job, and for these weeks I haven't until today when I mentioned that I haven't said anything for this time (which is always a sure way to make someone have feelings). Today she asked me to leave her alone so I have. \n\nI have struggled with major depression for some years and it has been difficult. When we first moved into our new apartment at the beginning of the year, tension was high and she had an anxiety attack. I was upset and slammed my head on a doorframe...which made blood pour down my face...which of course didn't make things better. I am now seeing a therapist.\n\nHer mom died from cancer a few years ago, and even before that, was thoroughly bullied in middle school and has had anxiety issues since then.\n\nI am not mad at her and do not wish to be mean, but I'm worried about the money she has and using it to pay for so much of everything. I contribute nearly 100% of the money I make, but where we live is expensive, and even with a third roommate in the apartment, I still couldn't afford to live in it with out her. I want her to do well and not spend too much savings on us living together.\n\nPlease help. I don't know what to do. I love her so so much.", "post_id": "5vkzgj", "comment_id": "de2wnp0"}, {"question": "It would be advisable to address the gambling; if you're feeling emotionally vulnerable, you're at great risk for the gambling problem to grow stronger until it completely takes over your life.  Please explore local resources, as there is often help for gambling problems that folks simply aren't aware exists; let us know if you need guidance in that area.", "comment": "There are so many interlinked problems in my life I don't know where to begin: I don't feel loved by anyone at the moment, so I want to find a girl to be in a relationship with, but most girls don't like dating guys who are unemployed, possible gambling addicts who drink and smoke like a chimney in the rain. I could find a job, and I have been trying, but after upwards of a few thousand job applications over 6 years, 99.99% of which come back with a form letter has crushed my spirit.\n\nEven after finding work it's usually somewhere that gives me panic attacks and anxiety, which because I haven't kept in check for a long time means I've gotten to the ultimate catch 22, where I'm too anxious to find a new doctor to give me a referral to a therapist and a script.\n\nI hate being alone so much. It's literally painful. Constant, 24/7 level 3 physical pain for months on end, that drinking, gambling and spending money solves for about ten minutes and then I feel twice as bad. However, all of my actions just drive me further and further from people. Literally half of my life so far has been spent with an absolute crushing sense of loneliness, where I often don't feel real, like this world isn't real and that my body is just a shell. I fantasise about someone saving me, but hey, who the fuck who want to save me?", "post_id": "1emngv", "comment_id": "ca1qdol"}, {"question": "It's the season of giving! Oh wait, we in recovery do that all year!", "comment": "This can be a difficult time of year for anyone, as we often see others seemingly enjoying the holiday season, and we may or may not feel like we're a part of that.\n\nSometimes, it can be especially difficult for anyone who is agnostic, atheist, freethinker, etc.  It sometimes seems like many of the people around us are quite happy in their celebration of whichever holiday(s) they celebrate.  And it's great that they're happy... or appear to be.\n\nBut I want to offer two things to my fellow agnostics, atheists, etc., who are in recovery.  \n\nFirst, in case you ever doubted it, you are not alone in not being a \u201cbeliever\u201d in a (for lack of a better word) traditional deity.  You can be who you are, and believe -- or disbelieve -- in whatever way you want to, and you still have a group of like-minded and sober individuals who stand with you.  And WE DO stay sober by sticking to some important principles and by learning from and supporting each other.\n\nSecond, in case any of you don't know about this, there's a listing of agnostic (etc.) meetings at http://tinyurl.com/agnoaa\n\nI hope some of you will show up at one or more of these meetings, and not just around the time of the Winter solstice, but any time of year.\n\nOh, and hopefully, don't take that first drink (or illicit drug) today.\n\n-- PB", "post_id": "1teabz", "comment_id": "ce75qoo"}, {"question": "Most people hardly ever notice any of them.  Let me give you this anecdote to demonstrate.  \n\n\nI'm a musician.  I play guitar and sing.  I perform fairly regularly at open mic nights, half the time playing my own music.  When I play my songs, I know exactly how they're supposed to sound.  What words are supposed to go where, the rhythm, the chord progression, and exactly how if everything goes 100% perfect it \"should\" sound.  \n\n\nHere's the thing.  It NEVER goes 100% perfect.  Either I get off rhythm at certain points, I mess up with my fingers and play either the wrong chord or it just comes off not sounding crisp if I didn't press hard enough.  Maybe my pick slipped from time to time.  Sometimes I sing the wrong word or don't hit the exact note I wanted to.  Sometimes I even mix up the verses and sing the 3rd where the 1st should be and vice-versa.  \n\n\nIn my own mind, I hear each and every single little slip up, because I have a clear picture of exactly how I want it to sound.  \n\n\nThis is the case all the time but even more so for my own songs.  Everyone in the audience is just hearing what they're hearing.  They don't know what it's \"supposed\" to sound like.  They have no idea what image I've concocted in my head that I'm comparing it to.  They simply hear it as is.  \n\n\nThey may pick up on the most egregious errors, but the majority of the ones that I'm fretting about, the small variances in my singing tone that I didn't want, mixing up a word here or there, getting slightly off rhythm in places, they don't even notice.  \n\n\nThere's been plenty of times that I've finished up a set, thought I sounded like shit (because to me when comparing to my mental image of what I wanted it did) but everyone else thought it was great and I didn't get even a little sense that they were just being nice.  \n\n\nConversations and social interactions work the same way.  One additional thought, everyone else is also caught up in their own head the same way you are.  Most of the smaller mistakes that they even did notice, they soon forget about because they're too pre-occupied with worrying about living up to and comparing themselves to their own image of themselves and how they want things to be.", "comment": "I guess this question is for more extroverted people who talk to others, but I\u2019d like everyone\u2019s insight. \n\nHow likely is someone noticing and remembering a slip-up when I\u2019m talking to them? For me, the biggest issue is my voice cracking. I\u2019d be talking, and my voice would crack out of nowhere, which would make me more nervous because of how noticeable it is, and then it sends me spiraling into more anxiety, leading to my voice becoming even more shaky and my voice cracks even more, and I start blushing pretty hard. \n\nHow do you deal with your slip-ups, or how do you react when other people have one when talking to them? I think it would take a massive load off my shoulders to know that people easily brush it off and forget about it, so I can do the same thing. But voice cracking and blushing is so noticeable and ridiculous looking that I can\u2019t seem to get past it. I\u2019ve been made fun of for my voice cracks a lot and there\u2019s countless videos in the internet making fun of people\u2019s voice cracking so I\u2019m still a little insecure about it, especially since I\u2019m 21 years old and it\u2019s usually associated with younger teens.", "post_id": "bb8qc1", "comment_id": "ekh0k9l"}, {"question": "If there was a treatment style that had 60-80% success rate, it would be used by everyone. \n\nWhat do the statistics qualify as success?", "comment": "And if so was it effective? I have read astonishing statistics, 60-80% success rate in heroin and meth addicts vs 7% average with 12 step programs. ", "post_id": "20z2bl", "comment_id": "cg88o3q"}, {"question": "It's hard to tell whats going on - the failing here is the poor communication skills of the involved professionals.\n\nLots of people have lots of abnormalities on and ECG/EKG, its all about context. The murmur is a wee bit concerning, but the t wave changes and tachycardia might be nothing too worrying.\n\nBest to get clarification from your docs though.", "comment": "(22 y/o female, 5'4, 105lbs. Medical History: Reynaud's phenomenon. Also, I have been experiencing joint and muscular pain/stiffness for years now, which does not seem to concern my doctors. Not taking any medications.)\n\nSometime last year I started to experience a racing heartbeat. My mom works at cardiologist's so they gave me a 24-hr holter monitor. I didn't experience much discomfort during that time frame and the cardiologist didn't seem concerned. He mentioned \"tachycardia\" without much context or explanation. \n\nSince then, my heart rate has only been bothering me more and more. At this point, I am usually fatigued and I feel weak and lightheaded often. I went to an internist recently, and I've apparently developed a murmur. I had an EKG done in the office that day and I have a t wave abnormality. I will be going for blood work and an echo sometime next week.\n\nI don't really know what to make of any of this and I would just like some context or explanation. ", "post_id": "5ks3uv", "comment_id": "dbq7jrp"}, {"question": "Shit. If you have taken a significant overdose, you may have caused significant damage without knowing it. You MUST seek medical advice, URGENTLY.", "comment": "I currently suffer from clinical depression. I am out of the country and am on vacation in Seoul. I'm from Canada and I don't have an insurance, so it's very expensive to get a hold of a doctor here. I take 20mg of Prozac everyday, but a week ago, I went out of town for about 2 days and left my Prozac in another town. So afterwords, I took Prozac again and I think the medication reset. So I've been getting really poor sleep lately. I went to a pharmacy and explained my situation. They said taking sleep aids might help but it's certainly not powerful enough if you're suffering from depression. So knowing this, I overdosed and took the whole bottle. I woke up feeling extremely weak and drunk. It feels like I just took codeine after a surgery. What should I do now to take this weak and tired pain away?", "post_id": "4xcd3z", "comment_id": "d6edubl"}, {"question": "let her make a decision first about approaching your friend", "comment": "I told my friend that I liked her and asked if he liked her and he said he liked her only as much as any other girl. I don't know whether to make a move or not and I feel like shit that she is giving all this attention to him.", "post_id": "5kg73a", "comment_id": "dbnpisc"}, {"question": "if he hasn't given you what you need by now, he likely never will", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have had the same issue since we started dating 9 months ago, he never calls me beautiful, or makes me feel special or loved, I have anxiety so this makes me convinced that he doesn't think or feel any of these things despite him telling me (and me not really believing him due to nothing really backing this up from really any of the 5 languages of love apart from quality time)\n\nWhen I am by myself I know I am beautiful and have confidence in that but because he never tells me i'm beautiful or proves he thinks it in any other way I am stripped of that when texting him or seeing him in real life. It's not me having a lack of confidence in my look but me being devastated over someone that I love so much not having mutual feelings.\n\nI want to give him a serious second chance and if he doesn't make an effort to improve this time it will have to be the end of our relationship as I just can't be in a with someone that makes me feel ugly and unwanted when I'm around them. It's really not too much to ask of a significant other to make one happy, special and beautiful, instead I cry myself to sleep at night because I feel lonely and unloved by him. I need him to actually understand that I really need affection in a relationship this time or we will have to break up, not just acting better straight after I have confronted him about the ongoing issue. I have confronted him about this almost countless times now but he never takes it seriously, I think mostly because he knows he's not going to lose me and I'll continue to feel like crap or that it's not that serious.\n\nWhen I confront him about this issue I need him to know that this is his very last chance and if he isn't willing to compromise I'll have to break up with him and get what I so desperately need in a relationship from someone else that will understand my needs and care for them. I need help effectively carrying my point across to him and hope he understands. I can't do it on my own.\n\nTl;dr I feel crappy and ugly because my boyfriend never shows his attraction to me, I want to effectively carry across my point for the very last time that affection is needed or I will have to seek it elsewhere.\n\n\n", "post_id": "68lpkz", "comment_id": "dgzf68p"}, {"question": "If he'll cop to being stressed or upset or afraid, does he recognize any allies/sources of help beyond you?", "comment": "I'm sorry if this post is a bit long winded, but I have no idea how to deal with this and have not confided in any of my family/friends as to what is going on.\nMy husband and I have been together for almost 11 years. During this this time he has always struggled with depression, anxiety and insomnia. The past couple of years have been better though, up until about 2 weeks ago. It started when our neighbors were being a bit loud, and my husband swore they were talking about him. I thought this was odd, but since one of them is an old friend of his who he had a falling out with I figured it might be true. Well this continued for a few days, even when no one was there. I didn't know what to think. Well that has quickly progressed to him being 100% convinced that our neighbors have cameras in our house and they are constantly talking to him, saying mean things to him, commenting on everything he does, saying he is being watched by the police and that if he doesn't do certain things (like smoke cigarettes outside) that they will arrest him. He spent hours going from the front porch to the back porch because they told him they were going to come out and talk to them and me so I wouldn't think he was crazy (I have never used that word with him). He thinks this is all completely real. When he leaves the house, he doesn't hear any voices at all. I ask him why he can hear them and I can't (he says the voices are not coming from his head) he says that it's because my hearing isn't very good (which is true to a point, but I'm not even remotely considered deaf or anything like that). He's not showing any anger or anything like that towards me, or saying anything about self harm (but I worry it will eventually progress to that), but he is very frustrated that I don't believe him. I don't want to act like what he is hearing is real, but I also don't want him to feel like he can't talk to me. I am at a complete loss as to what to do. I made an appointment to see a therapist in about a week and a half, because I know I have to take care of myself during this and hopefully they can give me some advice. But until then what do I do? How do I react to what he says he is hearing? It's so frightening, I see the pain and fear and frustration he's going through right now. He believes it is so real that it makes me wonder if I'm not the one acting crazy for not believing him.\nI wonder if it runs in the family. When his mom was his age (34) she developed a very bad drinking problem, and ended up being diagnosed with dementia/schizophrenia from years of drinking. Now I wonder if that was the reason she started drinking and it just didn't get diagnosed until later.\nIf anyone can offer any advice or wisdom I would really appreciate it.", "post_id": "684bgu", "comment_id": "dgwe5pd"}, {"question": "I like the 5-3-1 (or 3-2-1 if you don't have many options).\n\nPerson A picks 5 places they would eat, Person B picks 3 of those, Person A picks 1 of those 3. Done and eat. If you want to be really precise about it, alternate who picks the 5.", "comment": "It's the one thing that bugs the hell out of me. \n\nMe: What do you want to eat?\n\nHer: I dunno. You pick.\n\nMe: Sure, let's have Chinese.\n\nHer: No... I'm not feeling that.\n\nMe: Mexican then\n\nHer: No, not that either.\n\nMe: Okay, [lists off every type of food that comes to mind for 10 minutes]\n\nHer: No... maybe Chinese.\n\nThis has happened with every girl I've dated (I'm sure some guys do this too), and it's seriously annoying. Like, I really wish we had a law of conversational etiquette where if you shoot down someone's dinner suggestion you're obligated to offer one yourself. That's all I want. I'm not Yelp.com", "post_id": "33h2h1", "comment_id": "cqkth4y"}, {"question": "I\u2019m so sorry! Your friends sound awful. I really hope you have a happy birthday!", "comment": "my 21st birthday is coming up and since it is so close to Halloween I had the idea to have a Halloween themed pregame/party with friends at my apartment on campus. I was anxious about even creating an event on Facebook and putting myself out there, but even more anxious when another friend received my invite then decided to make her party the same day and same theme, then invited the same friends who said no to mine and yes to hers. So that stung a lot. Then friends from other groups started dropping out....one even claimed she wasn\u2019t coming because \u201cmy party threw a wrench in her plans to go to happy hour\u201d. I had a panic attack, I cancelled the party and Facebook event. My friends are completely unsympathetic. I don\u2019t want to act like a brat, but I have always put so much effort into parties for friends. Just last week I hosted a friends party at my apartment and spent about $100 on decor and food and alcohol. However, when it comes time for my birthday my friends do nothing....last year they didn\u2019t even wake me up for dinner at our sorority house so I didn\u2019t get a birthday meal. I just feel like I put so much effort in for them, but then when I even plan my whole entire party for them they don\u2019t even bother showing up. I have major depression and borderline personality disorder so any small slight or rejection feels like a huge slap in the face. I don\u2019t know what to do. I am sorry for the length of this I just needed to rant and I am so suicidal. If I confront them about this I\u2019m terrified they will call me a brat or be angry with me. Once again sorry for the rant I am so upset", "post_id": "dkpxpr", "comment_id": "f4im5e6"}, {"question": "Yep.  Therapy is really the best bet.  There's so many different reasons people engage in this sort of behavior/thought process.  When you've been doing it so long it becomes second nature, like autopilot.  You're probably completely unaware as to WHY you do this, which is why having an objective observer in the form of therapist help you figure this out.  \n\n\nEssentially, you're doing this for a reason.  If you can figure out what that is, get whatever you're getting out of this in a more healthy way, you won't need to do it anymore.  ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8wk6py", "comment_id": "e1wfmbm"}, {"question": "there are a lot of problems here. if he won't go to counseling with you it's going to be a rocky road i'm afraid.", "comment": "This is my first time here, i am so lost right now that i just needed some advice. I have been with my boyfriend (29) for 4 years now. It has not been a good 4 years though. After 6 months of dating my boyfriend moved in with me. After a month he lost his job, a year later that was still the case. We were arguing constantly, and as embarrased as i am to say this i started putting him down and feeling like he was just using me. During that time i was so sure i did  not want to be with him, i cheated on him w/my ex and when he found out i was relieved thinking we would break up. Instead he didnt want to break up, he said we could work through it. I wish we would have broken up because my guilt ate at me. He would constantly question me, always accused me of cheating. Any argument we would have he would throw that in my face. It was a rough year after that but i took it because i felt i deserved it. Things  finally started getting better, he found a good job and we were doing ok for the most part. He encouraged me to leave my job and start my own business, now i am the one who is unemployed. As of 3 months ago we barely have sex, when i confronted him he said it was cause i was bad in bed, then got upset at me because i was sad after that comment. He is a truck driver so i try not to think anything. I feel as if he is the one cheating on me now. All that aside he is constantly making fun of me, when he hurts my feelings and i cry he gets annoyed or just ignores me. Whenever i recommend counseling he says im the one that needs it not him. I feel i cant say anything to disagree with him because that starts a big fight, so i restrain myself alot to avoid arguments, last week i was considering leaving but didnt. Last night was my bff birthday, we went out and got really drunk i helped her home and took her upstairs. We started talking and honestly passed out for about 3 hours. I hadnt realized my phone was dead and rushed home. When i arrived he called me all kind of horrible things. I tried to explain to him what happened but instead he shut me down and broke up with me. At first i was hurt, i mean of course he has a right to be upset, but i have been faithful to him for the past 3 years (since he found out) i have never stayed out and done something like this, and would never. I was going to move out, but then didnt because i didnt want him to think i was out there cheating, so i stayed and he hasnt said a word to me for the past two days. A part of me feels like this is a sign that we should just end this. Yet another part of me feels like i should not give up. I really do love him but i dont know if we should be together", "post_id": "5ofog3", "comment_id": "dcizzjl"}, {"question": "I don't think confrontation will be helpful here.\n\nObviously,  i have no knowledge of the situation and have not observed your friend. I only have this very limited info, which doesn't really describe this person 's overall functioning. Your friend could have several more symptoms not described.\n\n What you described,  though,  sounds more like shallow affect than depersonalization. If this person has little experience discussing painful topics,  they may resort to the detached, \"cheesy\" movie style speech you described. You didn't mention if this person is a man or was raised as a boy , but many men and boys are socialized to not acknowledge emotions besides anger and love,  and discussing emotions can come off as foreign and scripted. It can be really hard for people to identody emotions when they have no experience labeling them.\n\n  Additionally,  depersonalization is pretty connected to having no sense of self , so the grandiose nickname doesn't quite fit. \n\nIn general,  your brief description doesn't fit depersonalization or derealization,  which looks more like a depressive trance and not talking about trauma. It would be unusual for a dissociated person to come up with an elaborate explanation of why they aren't real (chemistry and consciousness), instead of just kind of existing..\n\nOk, so what if your friend DOES depersonalization-derealization disorder? I still don't think it would be helpful to tell them , even if you were qualified to diagnose.  It is typically much more useful to focus on symptoms and distress rather than a diagnosis.  \n\nGentle encouragement to see someone qualified to process traumatic experiences may be helpful. \n\nOf course,  if your friend 's behavior bothers you , you may want to step back from the relationship. Again,  focusing on specific behaviors or issues.", "comment": "I have been seeing someone for the past 2 months. Everything has been good, except for one thing that keeps nagging me. This person has told me about their past childhood abuse and trauma. On a few instances, when they have discussed this trauma and past suicidal ideation, they seem to speak like a different person. The wording and spacing changes to something like out of a movie, almost \"cheesy.\" I hate saying that as it sounds like I'm invalidating what they are saying, but when they speak it sounds ingenuine or what they think \"sounds good.\" To me, it seems like they aren't grounded in reality. This person has also stated that they do not feel emotions, although I am not sure what that means. They described a feeling of not being able to believe they were real or existed, based on the idea of consciousness and chemistry (it's hard to explain what they meant). The also have referred to themselves with a different name (i.e. \"The King\", not actually it, but gives you an idea) in the third person, but I realize this may also be a joke. Does this sound like a disorder at all, or am I just overthinking it?\n\nI have a psych. minor, but I am not a licensed counselor. I am conflicted as I feel this creates an ethical issue as 1) I am absolutely not qualified to make a diagnosis and 2) I do not want to cause potential harm or distress to this person or make them question themself. Any advice on approaching this topic with them or not is appreciated.", "post_id": "hjuowi", "comment_id": "fwotufs"}, {"question": "marriage counseling for 3 months and the answer will be obvious", "comment": "Me (46M) married to my wife (37f) for 16yrs.  I was disatisfied with our relationship and sought comfort outside our marriage.  That person I have found knew I was married, as that what she was seeking (f38).  A relationship has blossomed against our original intentions.\n\nOver the years I have allowed my wife to have casual sexual relationships.  In the 16yrs she has admitted to 4.  I get it, it dont bother me.  I have had 2 total, inluding latest.  \n\nUnfortunatly, my wife is very jealous and would never let me have the same freedoms as I have given her, so mine where unacknowledged till last nite.\n\nWe have had 2 serious talks about our relationship in the past.  The first one I asked her to make changes, as I decided I didnt want to move on if she wasnt going to change her behavior.  She has made changes.  I have not.  I still do destructive things to our relationship(such as continuing with new girl) based on past experiance and negative thoughts about my wife, even though she has made changes\n\nI am trying to move forward, like my wife has in some cases..but I am stuck.  I will/need to o counciling for that.\n\nThey question I have is, do I really want to stay married?  Can we move forward?  I am trying to put the other person out of my mind, as last thing she wants is to be the reason why I left my wife.  I know my  decsion has to be made independantly of the new person.  But I am so damn conflicted\n\nI really dont want to toss away my 16yrs..but I cant continue in the same relationship with my wife.  The other girl would gladly have a relationship with me, and we already kinda do..its so much more than sex.  \n\nAND the sex is so much better, communication with her is much easier, we speak the same language and feel generally the same about of lot of things.  I enjoy being with her, I enjoy our intamacy.\n\nI dont think I have ever \"made love\" till I was with the new person!  The passion, the connection!   I had always discounted people that spoke of making love vs sex.  Now I know, I understand.\n\nDownside, she has young kids..and I am almost done and I feel I want to be done with kids..  Thats the only downside I got..I think\n\nIf my wife said she had met someone new..and was leaving.. i think I would feel relieved.  \n\nWe have commited to trying.  I must end my relationship with the other person.  I did not inform her of much of an emotional connection there was. \n\nMy wife is fighting very hard to keep this relationship.  She is emotionally devistated at the thought of me leaving, and that kills me.  Is it the reason I am staying married?  I think so..\n\nI think this became a ramble..\n\ntl;dr:  Met new girl..she is awesome, cant decided if I want to stay married.\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "5qpofq", "comment_id": "dd17xr1"}, {"question": "decide when you're ready and go slow. you'll be fine", "comment": "I don't think i'm ugly as I've been asked out by attractive girls as well as being told occasionally by strangers. But Im not some stand out great looking guy though. However, I've just never bothered asking a girl out as i felt those relationships would never last and they just never felt like the right girl for me. My friends though would always tell me that how can i be sure who the right girl is when i don't even bother going out with any girl. And i now feel like i'm missing a lot by never dating and the inexperience will put girls off. Plus I'm quite the introvert and i like my own space and always felt that getting a girlfriend would mean that i wouldn't get my own space anymore. And now that I've left school, my contact with girls/women has limited to merely work environment.", "post_id": "5kmasu", "comment_id": "dboylzw"}, {"question": "I wrote a guide on [how to make eye contact](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/how-to-make-eye-contact). It might be useful for you :)", "comment": "Like many of you out there, I suffer from serious eye contact issues.  Recently I've been really focusing on fixing this but I've hit a bit of a roadblock.  For me, eye contact avoidance isn't really a fear, but more of a deeply ingrained habit.  I spent the first 13 or 14 years of my life legally blind, so I developed the habit of staring at the ground because it was basically the only way to avoid tripping on everything in my path.    \n\nNow that I'm older, and my vision is much better, I no longer have a real need to be looking down, but this habit seems damn near impossible to correct, primarily because it requires an almost constant mindfulness to fix.  If it isn't in the front of my brain at every second of the day, I don't look where I need to, and this is exhausting.  I can't seem to pull it off.   Trying to make a change by doing it a few times a day isn't really enough; I need to be doing it 24 hours a day, but it's really difficult to stay mindful of it at all times.  \n\nDoes anybody have any tips on how to stay mindful of your eye contact at all times?\n\nEDIT:  Just to be clear, I have no major issues making eye contact in conversation, my problem is more in day to day passing interaction.  I'm not thinking about eye contact in that moment and so someone might say hello, and I don't even look their way when I respond.  \n", "post_id": "1c1fxq", "comment_id": "c9c5n64"}, {"question": "I current work at one as a therapist-intern (still do all the therapy and  work- just get paid a lot less till I get my graduate degree in July :p )\n\nPM me if you have any specific concerns or questions that I can help you answer ", "comment": "What's it like? What are some stories? Either voluntarily or non-voluntarily. I was thinking of voluntarily checking myself in because I've been way too depressed because I'm not going to school and meeting kids and having friends like a normal person would have. I'm painfully shy and it's so hard for me to make friends that it makes me have soul crushing depression. I had no suicide attempts before, but I was thinking of taking a bunch of Klonopin.  I sleep most of the day since I'm at my parent's house not going to school. Finding a job is unlikely, too. I recently threw away my trees away and my parents don't know about that. It will probably still show up on a drug test so I can't get a job if they test. My mom is going to call my psychiatrist and ask him what he thinks of me being hospitalized and also ask him why he diagnosed me with Bipolar. I really don't get mad! I'm mellow and sad most of the time.\n\nI've read on some AMAs that nurses give you your medication and you go to group therapy sessions. Is that correct? What do you do for the rest of the day? I've heard strict places in the US, you're not allowed to have your laptop, cell phone, iPod, or electronics. WTF, that's my entire life! Damn, I don't know what to do with my life. ", "post_id": "tsxaa", "comment_id": "c4pzc21"}, {"question": "A day spa is something many people like. Massage, facial, the works...", "comment": "tl;dr: What kinds of places can I call to pamper my wife on her birthday?\n\nMy wife and I have always struggled with money, but I recently got a job that gives us a little wiggle room financially, and I want to give her a really nice day of r&r. I have a masseuse in mind around my area, but past that I can't think of anything. Certainly not trying to be sexist when I ask this, but what else might a woman enjoy? Like I said, I'm an idiot and haven't ever really done stuff like this before so I don't know what else might be good.\n\nI guess I should also say I have no idea how much these things cost, and we don't have unlimited money, but I'm hoping somewhere around $250 will get her a really great day. Is that realistic?", "post_id": "71yaj9", "comment_id": "dneape7"}, {"question": "Best of luck!  Takes a lot of courage to make the decision and take the  steps, even if you've done it before.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "It's been 2 years since I saw anyone for my mental health issues. Booked an appt with a doc for a referral and will be seeing her today. I need to get better. Tired of being the way I am.", "post_id": "7yxm5x", "comment_id": "dujx7i2"}, {"question": "Its unlikely but not impossible. Is there a correlation of symptom onset with initiation of mirtazapine?", "comment": "I am a 6'0 white male in my late 20's, and have been taking remeron for about five years now. Over the last few years I've developed constant body aches and joint pain that keep me back from most all physical activity. I've seen many doctors for this, and they haven't been able to find a source. The one constant thing is that I taken remeron, could this be the source of my hip/shoulder and other pain?", "post_id": "503ziq", "comment_id": "d71iil7"}, {"question": "I wish that was the case for me.  I take tons of Vitamin D and that hasn\u2019t really impacted my depression.   Only medication has helped but sometimes dulls my emotions.", "comment": "I discovered some months ago I was severely low on vitamin D. I've been constantly taking vitamin D now and I think a lot of my depression was caused by that. I feel kind of invalidated, like my feelings were just due to a chemical imbalance, but also good at the same time that nothing was inherently wrong with me. At the same time I'm now thinking, what if I had the courage to check it out sooner and started taking vitamins way long ago? Would I not have suffered that much?\n\nAnyway, I'm far from being completely okay, but I'm feeling better. To anyone reading this who hasn't got their depression checked out medically, please do. Best of luck to everyone.", "post_id": "bif1w2", "comment_id": "em05gab"}, {"question": "It's impossible to know what's in someone else's head. Most of the time they don't even know. Don't take it personally. Just be you. Someone WILL love you. Period.", "comment": "i am 17 and have been in 3 relationships throughout my life. I've learned not to be too clingy nor too distant, never once cheated, I've waited months while someone's been in a different country, I'm funny, trustworthy and not to sound vain but rather pretty. When I'm in a relationship I'm just a normal, good girlfriend. I've come to the conclusion either I've been doing something wrong or my ex's are just assholes. What is the problem?", "post_id": "6h8ium", "comment_id": "diwg7n9"}, {"question": "go to couple counseling", "comment": "Right so first off, throwaway account.\n\nIm 32, my GF is 33, we've just celebrated the first birthday of our first child - who is the centre of my world.\n\nTo give you a picture of our relationship: We live together, have a mortgage - so as far as I'm concerned we're pretty much married. Neither of us are into the whole marriage thing so it'll probably never happen. I'm 100% committed to her and 1000% to our little one. She has cheated on me in the past, once that i know of. Though I have no reason to suspect it's any more than that. I caught her out, I worked harder to keep the relationship going than anything else I've ever worked on, still pisses me off of course but I don't let that show and I trust her now 85%\n\nTrust isnt the immediate problem. The issue were having is that from her perspective, I cannot seem to do anything right. Perhaps it's best that i list some facts:\n\nI'm the breadwinner, she does the majority of childcare. I work 5/7 days, she does 3/7. I contribute \u00a3900 to the joint account, she contributes whatever is possible. I do this gladly and it's the most I can afford, we're okay money wise. I've never mentioned the difference in what we pay. I would like to pay more but that's the absolute upper limit of what I earn. \n\nI help out around the house, if she washes up 10 times a week, i wash up 5. If she does 5 loads of laundry a week , i do one or two. I see this as about fair given that I work full time and have less free time. I also see level 1 house jobs like this as ...not really very difficult or time consuming.\n\nI do all the 'man stuff'. If something needs fixing, then ill do it. This isnt really an option for her. Clever and smart and capable as she is, she doesn't know about hardware or how to use tools. I have encouraged her to learn but there is no significant interest. This is fine, but it does take my time and in my book counts as 'housework'. \n\nSince the arrival of our firstborn, I've given up any socialising, working late, hobbies. not 100% but for example, I really love fishing and used to go every week. Since becoming a Dad I've been once, for half a day. I used to go to the pub 3 times a week, I've been 3 or 4 times in the last year. I haven't been on any work socials, or pursued any other hobbies. Apart from playing computer games when they've both gone to bed. I don't mind this sacrifice at all. I would like to go fishing a bit more, maybe once every month or two as i miss the community I had with my fishing club, but i dont miss the pub or the going out, football, etc etc, I'd rather stay at home with the little one. \n\nIn comparison, She regularly meets up with other mums and does playdates and things like that, which i think is brilliant and fully support. I realise that theres a difference between going out drinking and dancing (which i have also fully supported) and going out to soft play. \n\nI am 100% supportive, committed, trustworthy. I do everything i can to empower her.\n\nSo that's the background, onto the problem...\n\n***I am constantly reprimanded, guilt tripped and in a roundabout way, called a bad Dad.***\n\nMy little lad has never wanted for anything, whether it be clothes, food, love, attention, unnecessary toys etc. He has whatever he needs and more. I am proud of my little lad, and I'm proud of myself to provide for him and his mother. Yet I am constantly henpecked about the slightest missed cues, dropped balls etc - all minor inconsequential stuff. \n\nExample from today - I've had the finger pointed at me because he has a temperature and i didnt ask often enough about how he was. I was away on work (rare event) and sent a text asking how he was as soon as i opened my eyes this morning. I received information from her saying his fever was much much better. 'Brilliant' i thought, and felt relief.\n\nI'm now being reprimanded and cold shouldered because i didn't enquire often enough throughout the morning. This is typical from his mother. I'm constantly berated for being inadequate in some way. Made to feel like I'm not doing my job properly despite the circumstances i am in . In this case I'm in lectures and an exam. \n\nIt doesn't stop there. I am berated for not telling her that I think she's a good mother. The random presents and 100% supportive statements aren't enough apparently. I should point out that not once, not once single time have I ever been told that I am a good father. Luckily for me I tell myself every day.\n\nI am also not allowed to behave naturally. What i mean by that is that I live my life with the intention of helping people. I really believe in 'paying it forward' rather than getting paid. This means that if there is an opportunity to help then i will. However I am frequently scorned for dedicating time to helping others, in particular members of my family ( who have been enormously supportive towards her since day 1). She hates my mother, she wont admit it, but if i take my lad to see his nanna then its cold shoulder all the way.\n\nI find myself in a situation that i feel i cannot escape. I cannot approach her about it, because it will just be like lighting the touchpaper. I just want my little lad to have a proper, happy family upbringing. I suppose I am feeling that she is a barrier to that. Rather than solve the issues at hand, I wait until they're tucked up in bed and start drinking. I cannot cope with all of the sources of stress that point conflict in my direction. \n\nPlease help me with your advice. Thank you in advance for your input.\n\nS   \n\n \n\n", "post_id": "71evpj", "comment_id": "dna7nj2"}, {"question": "If you are in counseling- any counselor worth his or her salt would be able to recognize Schizophrenia in you. However, if you sincerely believe that this is the case, you ought to discuss this with your counselor or ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. \n\nAs far as delusions go- they are much more than simply false beliefs. They are fixed false beliefs that, in the mind of the deluded, are impossible to falsify. If you were actively psychotic- you would not recognize that you had delusions. Quite frankly, what you described seems more consistent with extreme anxiety.\n\nEither way, talk about it with your professional mental healthcare provider and/or ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.", "comment": "Long post warning, please read (not looking for a diagnosis)\n\nI'm (21/m) closing in on a year of debilitating mental health issues, as in cannot function. There have been signs of issues since early childhood, but as much as they were a pain (and in full swing now), they were liveable.\n\nI've been dealing with doctors ever since this started, really, give or take a couple months. I do love counseling and think it's important; however, I also think we go in there with an idea of our disorder and what counseling is supposed to be, and that can paint our answers and ultimately, our diagnosis, which unofficially at this point is major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.\n\nBut something made me question this past week. I was talking to a friend, and I spoke about the voices being bad the previous evening. I don't think I've ever had auditory hallucinations, but delusion, as defined by my brief research (Delusions are false beliefs or misinterpretations of events & their significance. For instance, a person may get accidentally bumped in the subway & may conclude that this is a Government plot to harass him), I absolutely have. One noise in the night can send me into a spiral of imagining such horrid scenarios, from the basic gunman breaking in to a demon busting into my room and myself screaming.\n\nI've controlled these to an extent, but they are still there, and medications (a variety) don't seem to really work, outside of a benzo on a case-by-case basis (and if it's a bad evening, even these don't help)\n\nNot only is the above true, but I don't actively have depressive symptoms during these events (though I certainly do the next day), I experience catatonic behavior (either going completely rigid or doing a same set of physical things over and over and over), and I've definitely struggled socially and professionally (I actively avoid social encounters when things are bad)\n\nI don't want to diagnose myself, but I also know that while doctors and shrinks are trained professionals, mental issues are very tricky, and I ultimately know what's going on inside my head.\n\nHow do I bring this up? I'm not searching for medication or anything; I just genuinely want to be better, and the various drugs I've tried to improve things...haven't improved them.\n", "post_id": "1gza58", "comment_id": "capsqvk"}, {"question": "We would have to get to know you to answer that. Real therapist, perhaps?", "comment": "Why am I a sassy sexy ass confident happy intelligent funny creative kind loving ambitious responsible driven independent healthy woman until I get into a relationship?", "post_id": "bt0urc", "comment_id": "eotf2fa"}, {"question": "It's not typical to give an opioid for a lumbar puncture. Naltrexone isn't dangerous with opioids, but it will render opioids ineffective. There's no need to reschedule your lumbar puncture or even, as far as I know, be careful about mixing an LP and naltrexone.", "comment": "Hi there!  I take Naltrexone to help with binge drinking.  I only drink once or twice a week, or maybe once or twice every two weeks, but historically when I've done so I have gone way overboard.  I take Naltrexone now and it has helped reduce my consumption.  I only take it on days I drink.\n\nI have a lumbar puncture scheduled for this Friday 7/27 at 9am.  I took 50mg naltrexone yesterday, 7/24, at 7pm, completely forgetting that it might interfere with the procedure.  I'm not concerned it will skew the results, but I understand that taking opioid anesthetics can be deadly while on Nal.  If it's useful, the last time I drank, and therefore took naltrexone (prior to yesterday), was about 12 days ago.\n\nSo, my question is, is it typical to give an opioid based anesthetic during a lumbar puncture?  If I tell them I prefer a non-opioid anesthetic will that be an issue?  I think the nal will be out of my system by Friday but wanted to make sure.  Is this something I should be worried about or even reschedule?  I would hate to do so, it's taken a while to get it scheduled and I need to get the procedure done.\n\nMy demographics:\n\n\\- Age: 46\n\n\\-  Height: 6'2\n\n\\- Weight: 180\n\n\\- Gender: male\n\n\\-- Meds: only naltrexone\n\n\\- Smoking status:  I quit 8 years ago.  Smoked for about 15 years before that\n\n\\- Medical Issue:  I have had constant daily headaches and fatigue for the last 4 months.  I also feel generally ill, ironically, almost list a hangover.  I've had all the bloodwork and and MRI done, now it time for the lumbar puncture.\n\nThanks in advance for your insight and assistance, it is genuinely appreciated.", "post_id": "91xeun", "comment_id": "e31m7hq"}, {"question": "it's not good/bad.  it's about people's preferences for how they live..and whether you're in sync", "comment": "I catch him looking at pictures, gifs, and videos of naked girls, actual porn, you name it. I have told him it bothers me and he has done a better job of hiding it. But I look at his history and most of his flipping time is looking at that crap. Is this bad? ", "post_id": "5pbldg", "comment_id": "dcpxfiw"}, {"question": "That\u2019s a lot of stacked counter active medications. A benzo is a downer and adhd meds are stimulants. They would cancel eachother out in a way not helpful to your brain or efficacy in self. Also Wellbutrin is mildly stimulating. \n\nAre you considering anxiety or substance abuse as the core factors to your symptoms?", "comment": "My drivers license is expired, 2 months. Fucking ADD lol. \n\nI have to get a medical checkup for my heart to get my prescription prescribed, and then get it at the pharmacy. In order to do this I need to get a general doctor (it\u2019ll be my first visit). Last time I did a first visit (over a year ago) with another doctor I had to give them my drivers license which was valid at the time. I have health insurance and a health insurance card with my name on it. \n\nI\u2019ve been getting my current prescriptions with the expired ID, just a sleeping pill (clonazpam) and Wellbutrin. There just seems to be more red tape to go through to get ADHD stimulants than my other prescriptions (a benzodiazepine). The pharmacy workers recognize me and usually don\u2019t ask for ID anymore, but since it\u2019s a new prescription, and a controlled substance, I figure they may need one. \n\nSince it\u2019s a health issue I\u2019m wondering if the valid ID requirements are more lax.", "post_id": "behpbb", "comment_id": "el610aw"}, {"question": "You have an appointment for follow-up with your surgeon in about a week, right? I would ask then.\n\nGenerally, about a week before even mild exertion is a decent rule thumb for routine laparoscopic surgeries. If you still hurt then, give yourself more time to heal.", "comment": "28F 5'6, 130 lbs, Caucasian \n\nUncomplicated appendectomy via laparoscopic surgery.  \nStill have glue on my 3 incisions.  \nHurts a little but nothing crazy- kind of like I did too many sit-ups  \n\nETA: Also when should I go back to work.  I'm in sales.  I work in Manhattan.  I basically take the subway & walk around the borough all day with a backpack.  I can probably ditch the backpack for a bit.", "post_id": "8x3fo9", "comment_id": "e20ibph"}, {"question": "At that low dose it's unlikely that you'd have any problems just stopping, and it would be hard to taper slower than that. It would be good if you could contact your doctor first.", "comment": "Male \n5'11\n200lb\n\nI have been on Abilify (2.5mg) for depression for around 50 days. I really liked it at first, felt noticeably better quickly. Unfortunately it lost it's affect after 40 days or so, but I still had bad side effects like crazy hunger, and left eye muscle spasms/twitching. Even if it was still working, I would probably get off of it because of the huge appetite increase and the eye twitching. \n\nAnyways, I want to get off of it. Considering it's a small dose and I haven't been on it that long, could I just quit taking it cold turkey (often not advised, I know) or is there a better method of tapering off? Thanks. Still 10 days until I see the Doctor.", "post_id": "8gfnz2", "comment_id": "dybk03s"}, {"question": "Hi. Im 5 weeks. It is getting easier and easier. I went for dinner last night with family and while i had a few urges to drink they passed quickly, and it was overall v enjoyable. How many days are you? ", "comment": "Hi \ud83d\udc4b Ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well I\u2019m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. \nShort intro, I\u2019m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn\u2019t a year old. I didn\u2019t drink a drop during pregnancy but once I had him - boom \ud83d\udca5 I stupidly had that first drink thinking I will be able to moderate now. A mistake we have all made I\u2019m guessing. \nI now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary\u2019s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. \nHowever I remember how great I felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how I dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! \nDetermined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. I know I can do it and have the drive to see it through so let\u2019s do this! \nEek scared and excited at the same time", "post_id": "8m0esx", "comment_id": "e01kipp"}, {"question": "I'm a psychiatrist, so im rusty on audiograms, but I think this is conductive deafness, where sound passes better through bone than air. This is usually due to perforated ear drums or glue ear, for example.", "comment": "Hello,\n\ncould somebody help me to interpret these two sheets. My doctor explained it to me, but too fast. Therefore I didn't understand everything.\n\nI am 22 years old, male, but I got a sudden hearing loss.\n\nhttp://imgur.com/a/aCJie link for the sheets", "post_id": "4yehf6", "comment_id": "d6n5xzs"}, {"question": "I don't know much about it, but maybe try looking into Debtors Anonymous. \nhttps://debtorsanonymous.org/", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "d0bfvc", "comment_id": "ez98nc3"}, {"question": "Why not see a professional and find out?", "comment": "For example, I have this weird thing with my introversion where I start speaking in a monotone when I've \"run out of steam\" or this past week when an incident occurred between my father and I, leading to me having to leave the house for several days (the first time I had to leave for such a reason.) I knew I could just go to my best friend's house and I knew I had the means to get along just fine for months if the situation really required it but I had this horrible feeling in my gut and my heart would have spurts of heavy fast-paced beating for most of the first two days being out of the house. I'm aware of my anxiety and of occasional depressive episodes (counselor is hard pressed to call it anything more because most of not all instances make sense given the context of the situation) but when stuff happens and I know it's happening I still can't seem to exert much short term control over it. Is it possible to do so or is it something I need to just bring up and let a professional decide if I need medication for?", "post_id": "3z2gyl", "comment_id": "cyisxka"}, {"question": "I've done the PCOS Workbook, written by a dietician and therapist who specialize in PCOS. That plus metformin gives me periods.\n\nThe basic gist is no refined carbs, only fruits, veg, and whole grain. Then keep your carbs to less than 30/45 per snack/meal and make sure your carbs are eaten with protein and/or fat. I used myfitnesspal and aimed for my fat+protein grams to be more than my grams of carbs per meal or snack while staying under the total carb goal. \n\nHave you asked about metformin? I get horrible carb cravings without it (and then binge on sweets) and have completely irregular spotting without it. \n\nIt's really fricken nice to be able to eat a small apple, potato, wrap, or piece of toast in a regular day. ", "comment": "My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year now with no success. I don't get periods naturally, so I'm pretty sure I also don't ovulate. My doctor told me that I need to lose 50 lbs  before we can look at fertility medication.\n\nI've tried keto on two different times and I enjoyed it, but had trouble sticking to it long term. However, both times I ended up getting a natural period within a couple weeks of starting the diet. It blew my mind away with how well it works. No other diet I've ever been on has brought my period back.\n\nOddly enough, giving up obvious carbs like bread, sugar, rice, pasta, etc is not what has been hard for me. I just keep wishing I could have more fruits and root vegetables than my 20g carb/day keto diet allows. So, I'm thinking of going up to 100g/day so I can incorporate some of those foods that I have a hard time making space for on a keto diet.\n\nI've seen plenty of people with keto success stories here, and I was just wondering if anyone has had any success eating around 100g of carbs a day?", "post_id": "5v37d3", "comment_id": "ddzepzy"}, {"question": "I know nothing about the company you referenced but I do know that tests like that are available. I work at a mental health clinic and our lab does that sometimes for clients when the psychiatrist orders it. Like you said, I think they order medications from most to least effective given your results. \n\nI've never done it myself but I've had multiple clients swear by it. ", "comment": "Picked my drugs up at the local Rite Aid and the pharmacist pitched me on this \"Harmonyx diagnostics\" genetic test because she saw that I have ADHD. Pretty much, this private lab looks for certain genes (I'm guessing DRD4 variant etc?) and ranks the various ADHD drugs from Red (last resort) to Yellow (try second) to Green (try first) relative to your genetic make up. Sounds a little hokey, but I've been a psychiatric patient for most of my young adult life and have bounced between drugs for years now...I'll take the results with a grain of salt, of course. I'm guessing that I don't have the DRD4 variant because I'm ADHD PI and get really anxious on stimulants. Hm. ", "post_id": "2s0bvp", "comment_id": "cnm8v0c"}, {"question": "Counseling!  Individual for both of you + couples counseling!", "comment": "Hey Reddit. \nThrow away account juuuuust in case.\n\n\nFirst off, let me premise by saying that this will be a rather long post, but it's a complicated matter, and I\u2019m utterly, hopelessly lost, sad and sort of devout of hope. \n\nSo, I\u2019ve been together with my wife for 9 years. We\u2019re both 27 years old, so we\u2019ve really been following each other for all our adult lives. We have been married for roughly 2 years. Frankly, its never really been difficult. Sure, we\u2019ve had fights, but never anything significant. We\u2019ve been best friends through and through. \n\nTwo years ago, we both finished out masters degree and my wife gets a very exciting job opportunity on the other side of the country. I was very proud of her, and obviously agreed to move there with her \u2013 it made sense as my line of work allows me to get work pretty much everywhere. So we make the arrangements, move there, and on the second day of living there she gets diagnosed with cancer. Now, let me start by stating that she survived and was beyond incredible in the whole process. However, she survived mentally by refusing to accept she was ill. I, on the other hand, dropped everything in my life to be there for her. While not at all healthy, that was what felt right at the time. So I neglected my family, my friends, refused to take a job\u2026 all in order to be there for her \u2013 drive her to all her chemotherapy sessions, opperations and everything in between. I made sure the house was in pristine condition, made great, healthy food, etc. etc. In short, I totally lost myself in order to be there unconditionally for her. That is not to say that I was not feeling extremely scared. I\u2019ve never been so scared in my life, but I found ways of ignoring it, cause I felt as though my being weak was the last thing she needed. \n\nNow, fast forward to now. He has been completely cancer-free for almost a year now and that's amazing. However, lately things have been going south for us. As I mentioned, neither of us dealt appropriately with our feelings during her treatment, and when she got into remission, we both pushed everything that revolved around \u201dbeing sick\u201d away from us\u2026 as far as humanly possible. Coping mechanisms are strange like that. I should, at this point, mention that she kept working more or less full-time during her treatment, and she has a lot of wonderful friends at work. I suppose it was a sort of free-space for her. So when she was healthy, she just kept working as if nothing had happened. However, everything happened. All the long, sleepless nights because of fear doesn\u2019t go away from me. I can\u2019t help myself checking if she's breathing when she sleeps. I can\u2019t help but notice every single little anomaly in the way she breaths, walks, talks etc. It's extremely difficult to just drop, when it was EVERYTHING you did for a long long time. I should have gotten professional help at this point to deal with this, but I was so scared of poking to feelings that she couldn\u2019t deal with. In other words, I could not shake the notion that I had to be there for her at all times.\n\nI see now that this literally just pushed her away from me. She was healthy and had to start living. Shes young, succesful and survived something horrible. I couldn\u2019t let it go. Slowly, but surely, this made things turn sour. The more I tried to protect her, the more she struggled. The more she struggled, the more I lost myself in my attempt to be there for her. I turned annoyed and hurt when she didn't return my passion for her. I turned absurdly jaloux to a point where she must have hated me for it. All the while I still don\u2019t talk to my friends or family, cause, frankly, I didn\u2019t know how to anymore. She was my whole life, plain and simple. \n\nFast forward to a couple of weeks ago. She basically tells me that she is not happy. It's not really me, but herself. She cannot figure out who she is. When she looks herself in the mirror, she doesn\u2019t know who she is looking at. Shes not sure if we fit each other anymore. I wanted to be angry, hurt and all that, but I saw everything extremely clear for the first time in a long, long time. I\u2019ve been acting like a massive clown, albeit I don\u2019t think I could have done much to prevent it. We do, however, agree that we\u2019ve been through way too much to just give up on each other. So we agree to try and figure things out. \n\nThings haven\u2019t gotten much better though. I\u2019ve found so many things I need to work on in order to find myself again; to find the guy she actually fell in love with, but more importantly, find the guy who enjoys himself. Its an odd notion really.. When you come to this realization you start falling in love with life again, but you have no idea how to handle it, because all the feelings of jealousy etc. Is still so deeply entrenched in me. This is further fueled by the fact that most of her friends at work are males, and she talks and writes with them a lot. I know I should be happy for her, but I can\u2019t help but feel betrayed that we can\u2019t talk about her and what's wrong, but she uses them to talk all the time. I know, deep down, that it's because I am very deeply involved in her emotionally and they are likely not. Its just so extremely difficult to accept, when I feel like we\u2019re drifting apart. Everything we do feels a bit off and a bit forced. I reckon she is dealing with some extremely difficult things and thoughts, but I just cannot help but feel lost because she doensn\u2019t invite me in anymore. She\u2019ll say she loves me, but only in return. She begs me for some personal space and to give her time, and I try\u2026 I try so damn hard. But I\u2019m so sad all the time. Two years worth of fear of losing her has erupted into a horrible knot of despair. I try to tell myself everyday that I need to be a better person; I need to make sure to let her get space and to think it's wonderful that she is working a lot and has a lot of good friends (male and female alike). I know it's the right thing to do. But my mind won't shut up about how wrong, everything feels at the moment. Its gotten to a point where, if we don\u2019t spoon at some point during the night I analyze it and usually comes up with the conclusion that it's another sign that we\u2019re breaking up\u2026 Its obviously not, but it's just to illustrate how much of a mess I am right now. I\u2019m so confused and I\u2019m not sure what I need to do\u2026 Give her space and pray? Demand that we talk it over? Try to be my old, loving self and show her that I, at least, believe that we\u2019re can still be a thing and that I\u2019m as supportive as can be? \n\nThis obviously also means that I need to work on myself a lot. I\u2019ve slowly tried contacting friends again. All have been superstars, however they live on other side of the country, so it's not easy to just go visit them. Plus, I feel like I somehow need to focus on saving our relationship. Its so fucking frustrating being so conflicted. However, I do know that I have to get a better person for myself\u2026. I need to do \u201dme\u201d things. I just don\u2019t know how, because all I feel right now is a massive massive amount of fear for losing her. \n\nI\u2019m not too sure what I expect from this. Some advice perhaps? I\u2019m not sure. I suppose it was nice just putting it down on text. \nIn any case, thanks for reading. I hope it wasn\u2019t too sad of a read. \n\ntl:dr; Wife and I are drifting apart as we both lost our ways individually.     ", "post_id": "6bgdda", "comment_id": "dhmhndl"}, {"question": "I'm thankful for a supportive and forgiving boyfriend.  I'm thankful for chocolate.  I'm thankful for internet message boards and reddit.  I'm thankful for Pema Chodron.  I'm thankful for good health and the ability to run.  I'm thankful for my grad school interview invitation.  I'm grateful for a steady paycheck. ", "comment": "Happy Thursday sobernauts!\n\nThankful Thursdays is a weekly thread here, where we can focus and reflect on what we are thankful for. I\u2019ll include something on thankfulness and invite you to take a moment to reflect on what you are grateful for **today**.\n\n---\n\n**Thankful quote**\n\n>*[I hope you can see how awesome you are, and know how much you are appreciated for being the one and only you](http://i.imgur.com/3jbMiv0.jpg)*\n\n---\n\nEach and every person here brings their own sparkle to this community, different experiences and perspectives. I am so grateful for the diversity that is accommodated within this community, as we tread in similar directions.  Thank you for bringing your own experience and insight here, it helps me to consider different perspectives, and keep my eyes open.\n\nI will not drink today, I am very grateful for your company today sobernauts - you are awesome!\n\n---\n\n**So, sobernauts**\n\n**What are you thankful for TODAY?** ", "post_id": "444jm5", "comment_id": "czns1hy"}, {"question": " if you trust him 100% it's irrelevant", "comment": "My bf of 10 months and I got into an argument. I asked if he still talk to anyone from the past that he was once sexual with he said yes one. I asked have I met her (like in any of the group hangouts) he said no. He is a lawyer and he said he only talks to her if he needs legal advice help. I am not a lawyer I am an engineer. I asked what her name was he said it's irrelevant. I asked well if it's irrelevant what does it matter and a fight ensued . Was I wrong?\n\nTl;dr: bf doesn't want to tell me about someone.", "post_id": "6ry0j5", "comment_id": "dl8kzx9"}, {"question": "Your sobriety comes first. If I were in that situation, the advice I know people in the program would tell me is to just get a new sponsor immediately if I felt that way. One that has worked the steps and understands that the steps ARE the program. I have been told \u201cI needed to do the steps to get better, not get better before doing the steps.\u201d Worrying about someone else\u2019s (sponsors) feelings is secondary at this point. Especially given the fact that you feel like drinking. This is your life. Find another sponsor and send your old one a text that you are moving on if thats the only way you can get in touch with her. Your life is too important. Wishing you the best!", "comment": "I went to my 7am meeting this morning to grab my 90 day coin because my sponsor was going to be there and I was hoping to talk to her after the meeting to tell her that I want to find a new sponsor. She\u2019s been extremely hard to see in person (I\u2019ve tried twice in the last two weeks) and I know we both regularly attend the Thursday morning speaker meeting. I\u2019m tired of holding onto this information now that I know what I want to do and I just wanted to tell her in person versus over the phone. \n\nI got there 25 minutes early but she came dashing in at 3 minutes of.  Oh well.  Then she whispered to me that she had to leave at 7:30. Ughhhh. Okay. Whatever. So it came time to the coins, and I was the only one to get one. Yay me!! However, as luck would have it, our speaker was a no-show and the chairperson said \u201cLucky you! You will be our speaker today!\u201d And he then moved on to the other portions of the meetings after the coin portion. My sponsor then whispered to me quite forcefully across another person sitting between us \u201cYou will pass\u201d \u201cYou will pass. You are not ready. Pass.\u201d  I didn\u2019t think much but all I remember hearing in the rooms was you never turn down an AA opportunity when asked. And then I was annoyed because, if any of you remember my sponsor, this is the one who won\u2019t let me do my steps, who took 3 years to do her own steps, and is just very full of telling me what she wants my program to be and not what I need it to be and how sick I feel. (See my previous post under my profile if interested) So then when the guy asked me to speak, I said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m not ready yet, so I\u2019m going to pass today.\u201d \n\nHe kind of hesitated and almost sighed. He then asked for someone else to share. And after about 30 seconds someone else volunteered. But at the end of the meeting that chairperson came up to me and told me \u2018You should call your sponsor bc no one turns down an AA opportunity when asked\u201d and walked away before I could say anything in response. I\u2019ve been feeling upset and resentful all day. My sponsor can\u2019t answer my calls because she\u2019s at a conference. Not that I want to really talk to her anyway. I went to another meeting and shared there but it didn\u2019t really help. And I just feel like the stupid new kid. And I just want to drink. I know it\u2019s dumb. But I just feel like I don\u2019t fit in with the club. Like I did the wrong thing. And it was my sponsor who told me not to. Ugh. I just feel stupid. Thanks for listening. I will not drink but it\u2019s just all these awful feelings.", "post_id": "bs9k9k", "comment_id": "eompcm9"}, {"question": "Online ratings are a useful tool but keep in mind that people tend to be more compelled to go online and share either really good or really bad experiences. For all the bad reviews you see, there\u2019s probably a number of other people who had good or neutral experiences. They just didn\u2019t feel particularly compelled to share them. However, if you\u2019re noticing themes in the reviews - like pushing sedatives - be aware of that and prepared to advocate for yourself. You might find that if you communicate clearly about your needs and preferences, the doctor is totally willing to work with you.\n\nGetting into a psychiatrist can take a while, so if I were in your shoes, I\u2019d keep the info in the reviews in mind, attend the appointment, and then make a decision about if the doctor is a good fit or not. ", "comment": "I have to be referred through my clinic to be diagnosed. They made the appointment today, and the person they've set me up with has terrible ratings. 3/5 stars, most people complain he likes to push sedatives and doesn't listen.\n\nI don't know how much to trust it (it's not through Google, it's a physician rating website for Ontario) and if I should call to switch or try it.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "a4x07n", "comment_id": "ebi6ncp"}, {"question": "So before I get started, I just want to say that I'm a licensed therapist and have been practicing for some time.  \n\nThis is a really tricky situation.  On one hand, you say your therapist has been good for you.  It seems like in some instances she's pushing you out of your comfort zone and forcing you to think differently about some issues with your wife.  Perhaps even set some healthy boundaries and expectations that haven't been there.  I think this is definitely a positive thing for you.  \n\nOn the other hand, I don't think it's very professional of her to be making recommendations to your wife's therapist based off of what you are telling her in your therapy.  Your therapy should be yours, and your wife's therapy should be her own.  It's going to hinder your relationship with your own therapist if you're afraid of what you tell her is going to get to your wife's therapist and then eventually to your wife.  \n\nI'd recommend rescinding the permission given for your therapist to communicate with your wife's therapist.  You are allowed to revoke consent to release of information at any time.  This may be somewhat a difficult situation if you and your wife are being seen at the same agency as therapists are allowed to talk about their cases to colleagues in a supervision setting.  \n\nIf after you rescind your consent for your therapist to share information about what you say to your wife's therapist she continues to do so, this is grounds for a lawsuit so 95% or more, she won't violate this.  \n\nStart focusing more on yourself and less on your wife in your therapy (even if that means your plans for how to react to your wife's issues).  If your therapist continues to be hung up on your wife and won't shift therapy to what you want to focus on, be firm with her, and if she doesn't follow through, drop her.  \n\n", "comment": "(If this is the wrong place to post this, my apologies: Please don't hesitate to tell me what, if any, might be a more appropriate subreddit.)\n\nI could use the opinion of an objective party or parties about something; I\u2019ve pretty much made up my mind on multiple occasions, but I keepdoubting myself.\n\nMy therapist, L, does not have much respect for my wife, who is dealing with MAJOR depression.  She does not understand her total inability to function at times, and openly questions whether my wife\u2019s DBT is actually doing her any good.  L has been (with permission) in contact with my wife\u2019s therapist (M) to discuss strategies; she *really* does not like L at all, and considers her very unprofessional, but has made some effort to meet her half-way.\n\nLast night, L called me and we spoke for about 20 minutes.  During a meeting with the rest of her practice, L brought up my situation and solicited advice.  Overwhelming -- or so she tells me -- her peers recommended that my wife\u2019s therapist drop her for non-compliance.  This should, in their opinion, *force* her into action, as my wife has clearly admitted an ability to function when things are at a crisis point.\n\n(If the house was on fire, she\u2019d be amazing.  But she ignores the flammable material stacked in the corners, even when there\u2019s smoke rising from some of them, and generally leaves *me* to deal with them.)\n\nShe then left a voicemail for my wife\u2019s therapist, in which she expressed the same feeling and apparently said that my wife doesn\u2019t \u201cdeserve\u201d to be in therapy.  Not surprisingly, M is not pleased.  On L\u2019s recommendation (and again, with my wife\u2019s permission) I spoke directly to her for a while last night trying to explain the position that I\u2019m in. M was very understanding and non-accusitory, inviting me to attend my wife\u2019s session with her next week.\n\nI don\u2019t know what to do.  My wife can\u2019t STAND L, but doesn\u2019t want me to drop the only therapist who I\u2019ve had any success with.  I feel that a line has absolutely been crossed, and I don\u2019t like the position that this has put in me in with my wife, but even M agrees that L is acting out of genuine concern for myself and for my son...who has, in fact, been negatively impacted by his mother\u2019s behavior.\n\nI\u2019m giving very serious thought to dropping L and finding a new therapist, as I feel that L is encouraging a sort of adversarial position with my wife.  On the other hand, I\u2019m wondering if I want to drop her for my *own* sake, or for my wife\u2019s.  My wife agrees that this is a genuine concern, and is not encouraging me one way or the other.  I\u2019ll be talking to L directly at my next appointment, a week away, but I\u2019m not sure what I should do.  I\u2019m also feeling guilty because, as I said, I really do think that L is really doing and saying what she thinks is best for me.\n\nOn the other hand, she can be very overbearing...and I know that she sometimes hears what she wants/expects to hear, so I don't know how reliable some of what she's relayed to me really is?\n\nDoes L\u2019s behavior seem unprofessional to anyone else? At this point, I don't think that I'd feel entirely comfortable staying with her practice.  But yet....", "post_id": "6t2i0w", "comment_id": "dlhe53d"}, {"question": "As a therapist, I come across so many people who were diagnosed or teacher suspected it but their parents ignored it.  So many people whose problems as an adult would have so much less if their parents had just pulled their heads out of the sand.  At least they would've had a name, a reason as to why they always felt so different growing up.", "comment": "God damn it.\n\nMy mom's only excuse is that the medication I took once made me too straight lined. Sure, it could have been improper, but it quite literally explains everything.\n\nNow how to find out to address this to my doctor.", "post_id": "eha164", "comment_id": "fcj06yk"}, {"question": "That is an old way of thinking that has been proven false. Drinking alcohol in any quantity is not beneficial to your health. That being said, many people still say this as it is true, including some physicians unfortunately. Same thing when it comes to only having a glass of wine while pregnant. Some physicians still say this is okay, when it has been shown that ANY amount of alcohol could potentially have catastrophic effects on the unborn child. It\u2019s like playing Russian roulette with your pregnancy", "comment": "Have you ever spoken with someone about your decision to SD, have them get a bit defensive, and then mention the heart healthy benefits of drinking 1-2 glasses of red wine per day? (BTW, nobody I know who has raised this objection to me CONSISTENTLY stays within that limit.)\n\nThen you go on the Web and see that a lot of conventional advice repeats this claim? That said, unconventional plant-based doctors like Joel Fuhrman advise that no alcohol consumption is best.\n\nWell...I had a physical this morning and asked my doctor, \u201cIf I walked in here with the exact same health stats that I have right now as a non-drinker, would you suggest I take up drinking a glass or two of red wine to improve my heart health and longevity?\u201d\n\nShe said, \u201cDefinitely not. Despite what you may read and hear, all available research that suggests this stands on shaky ground and is inconclusive. And/or it\u2019s based on correlation and not causation. While I urge my patients to drink no more than moderate amounts if they want to, I would never suggest anyone take up drinking for health reasons. And I\u2019d hope no responsible physician ever would.\u201d\n\nThis may seem like common sense, but am I the only one barraged with the, \u201cHey, a little bit, in moderation, is good for you.\u201d\n\nReason for this post: I\u2019m trying to reprogram myself to remove the desire for alcoholic beverages. This is one line of code.", "post_id": "c2mkai", "comment_id": "erld1wm"}, {"question": "How long are you away for?", "comment": "I'm sitting in a hotel room in Florence. Most people would be thrilled, I'm sure, to be in a place they've dreamed of being in for their whole life.\n\nBut I feel so alone, even though I have 3 roommates. I miss my son, I miss my husband, and I really miss my bed. I miss being home.\n\nI know I'm just feeling homesick, but putting a name to the feeling isn't exactly helping me out. Every time I pass by a small child, or a couple holding hands, I just get this sharp pain and a little moisture in my eye--like I'm two steps from crying.\n\nI've traveled and lived away before, but for some reason this is different for me. I feel so sad. I wish someone would give me a hug and tell me everything is fine; even though I know it I need someone to say it.", "post_id": "2655yu", "comment_id": "chnvnon"}, {"question": "I am going through this exact struggle right now and was thinking about writing a post just like yours. I'm an early career professional, and in addition to my job, I'm trying to study for my licensing exam and make a little extra money with a side gig. Neither of those things is getting done at all. I feel ambitious and excited to do these things throughout the day, but as soon as I get home the energy drains out of me and brain fog settles in. \n\nI just recently started getting (pharmaceutical) treatment for the first time at age 29, so I'm still figuring out a lot of stuff.", "comment": "It doesn't matter what time it is, once I get home it's like my meds immediately wear off and I can't get anything accomplished even if it's something I desperately want to do. If I run errands after work or go out to do something fun, everything is great! I get stuff done and I feel good about myself. \n\nBut the minute I step through my front door, all bets are off. Many days, it's a miracle for me to even make myself dinner, or even eat what I brought home with me. \n\nMy doctor has me taking a 30 mg Vyvanse in the morning and another one in the early afternoon to try to combat this. It works great getting me through the end of my workday and any errands. \n\nBut like today...I forgot to take it at 12:30, and didn't remember until 2:30. Which actually made me happy, because I have to get some projects done around my house and I figured it would finally last long enough to get me through until at least 9.\n\nNope. I barely made it through making dinner, and I was dragging as I drove out to bring it to my boyfriend at work. Once I got back home 30 minutes later, I ended up sitting in my car for another 30ish minutes before I found the motivation and energy to go upstairs. I ate a little piece of chicken and I'm trying to power through at least one of my projects, but I'm not really getting anywhere. It sucks and I'm in tears for the third night in a row. I want to stay productive at home too, not just at work! Plus we have a roommate moving in next weekend, and her room is completely full of stuff that needs to be gotten rid of ASAP. \n\nIs this normal? How do you cope with it? I don't honestly know if it's my ADHD or if there might be another culprit. I'm so frustrated and overwhelmed. ", "post_id": "9bpgxm", "comment_id": "e576svv"}, {"question": "i'd worry", "comment": "Hi, so i was drinking with my friends and my girlfriend and we are engaged we were drinking in my friends house everything was fine untill my gf said could you please bring me water so i went to take water for her and boom i open the door and she ia cuddling with one guy. What to think she says that it was faked so she could see my reaction btw she has cheated on me before \n\nWhat do i do what to think..?\n", "post_id": "6741z8", "comment_id": "dgnh04u"}, {"question": "Not sure if this applies to you or not.  One problem I see with lots of folks struggling with this is that their goal is to have \"close friends\" but generally don't like associating with more surface level acquaintances and having all of the superficial conversations and what not that go along with that.  \n\nUnfortunately for these folks, good, healthy, organic relationships do not happen immediately.  They generally grow from what starts out as more simple and superficial relationships with acquaintances.  Finding shared interests and each party making a continuous effort to spend time together doing what they mutually enjoy and eventually the two may become close friends.  The only way to get this though is to put the effort in inviting acquaintances to things and making time to go to things they invite you to.       ", "comment": "I have a close friend but it always seems she\u2019s trying to help me. I have other acquaintances that I don\u2019t hang out with often. I have a new job and my co-workers are awesome but we haven\u2019t hung out yet. I just want some friends to hang out with, do nothing with, and not judge each other. Do these types of pure friendships even exits? I\u2019ve never been good at close friends in my 28 years. I\u2019m everyone\u2019s first friend but never the best friend. Maybe it\u2019s just not for me. I\u2019m not sure why I\u2019m even craving social interaction lately - usual I\u2019m fine to be my keep to myself quiet person. ", "post_id": "8ekh9j", "comment_id": "dxvxpem"}, {"question": "There are lots of scare-mongers on the internet.\n\nStopping an SSRI, SNRI, or most other antidepressants suddenly wont cause damage. It can be uncomfortable, which has gotten lots of press recently, and venlafaxine is one of the more notoriously unpleasant drugs to stop. But still, not everyone has any problems. If you didn\u2019t, they probably won\u2019t suddenly start.\n\nLamotrigine can be used as an anti-seizure medication as well. There\u2019s at least theoretically higher risk of seizures if you suddenly stop. For most people, the reduction in seizure threshold still doesn\u2019t put them at any risk of seizing.\n\nThe biggest problem with stopping these medications is that they won\u2019t do what they\u2019re supposed to do. i\nIt sounds like you\u2019ve been unimpressed, you\u2019re looking for a new psychiatrist, and you have a plan to enroll in a study. All of those are fine plans to get hopefully more effective treatment. Ideally it would have been done with your old psychiatrist involved from the beginning, but no disasters here.", "comment": "This is really just a general question. Not sure if this is technically the place for it?? So please remove if not allowed.\n\nGender: female\nAge: 24\nMedications: reglan, venflaxine, lamotrigine, abilify\n\nI was on Facebook and saw an ad for a study on medication for people diagnosed with major depression. I commented and asked if you could still qualify if you had just stopped your medication recently. I was on 150mg of venflaxine and 100mg of lamotrigine and was later prescribed ability. I sort of stopped abruptly. For the lamotrigine I did cut the pill in half and only took half for a week before stopping entirely. The venflaxine I simply stopped taking. I know it wasn\u2019t a good idea to stop like that, in hindsight I guess I wasn\u2019t really thinking. I felt like the medication wasn\u2019t working for me and I was having medical issues at the time that I associated with the medication (which also stopped within a few days of me no longer taking the medication). I was in touch with my psychiatrist about it when I stopped and they didn\u2019t really say much other than suggesting we could send in a lower dose to wean me off the venflaxine instead. But I had already been 2 days without so they didn\u2019t send in the script. They couldn\u2019t really do because I\u2019m in the process of switching to someone else. \n\nWhen I commented on the ad for the study my comment had a few people respond to it saying not to do just stop because it could kill me? I understand the withdrawal symptoms and I definitely think I\u2019m dealing with those. But kill me? That sounded a bit far fetched to me, but then again, I\u2019m not a doctor so IDK. So I\u2019m asking you guys here, can this actually kill me?", "post_id": "fd6zpp", "comment_id": "fjgorwr"}, {"question": "Give her the space she needs. Take your cues from her carefully.", "comment": "I received the message early in the morning followed by a short phone call from my girlfriend (20). This is a newly formed relationship (a month in) but the feelings for one another are very strong. As i know now she works all the time (pickling up doubles and working from 6am to 8pm). She has two kids and the father is sort of in the kids lives and spends time with them, but not really a dad. She also had a recent loss of a close friend to depression. Right now I've been informed she feels overwhelmed and doesn't want to get me mixed up in her complicated life (along those lines) I've been through multiple relationships and only had a few serious ones (lasting between 2-4 years). Something about her is completely different and i want to fight for her and show her i will not be caught in the storm but help fight through the storm and do everything i can to help carry the load off her shoulders. I need some advice on how to proceed before we meet later to talk about everything in person. \n\nEdit: Thank you all for the advice and input. We have now met up and talked over some things and clearing up the air. her life is really stressing her out and she was scared that i didnt want to be with her. I have known her for a little over 2 years now but we did just recently start dating. she has had a very rough life and she truly felt that i am too good of a guy for her. we talked and will be talking more tonight but this looks like it will be patched up. again ty all for your advice sorry i didnt give much information on a broader scale but was trying to collect my thoughts and tried to keep it short. \n", "post_id": "63lgv6", "comment_id": "dfv1x4g"}, {"question": "Any update?\n\nI assume that you are in the US, whose mental health provision at times sounds completely illogical to me, so ill defer to an American mental health professional to give you a definitive answer.\n\nWas lack of sleep the only symptom?\n\nIf admission was indicated, id agree with you in principle, the initial assessor who as access to inpatient beds should be making the call. It could be that there is a suspicion of an underlying medical cause that might need excluded via ER though. Or maybe the NP was being a lazy shit.", "comment": "My mother in law has a history of psychosis, and has been hospitalized for it 3 times in the last 10 years.  She had an episode beginning last week and reached out to her regular provider, which is a nurse practitioner with the ability to prescribe her meds.  After not sleeping for 6 days and being given a new anti-pyschotic and still not sleeping, we convinced her to be admitted to the hospital.  \n\nThe NP has admitting privledges and agrees she should be admitted, but told us we had to go to the ER.  The ER is full, so my mental ill MIL, who thinks that everyone in a uniform is plotting against her is sitting in a hallway in the ER, there are police and medical professionals everywhere, she is bugging out.  We have been here 5 hours and all they did was a 5 minute interview with an ER physican and we are awaiting transport to the behavioral health unit.\n\nWhy were we sent here?  We can't afford the $1000 co-pay for an ER visit, and we've received no care here.  Why is the hospital doing this do her instead of admitting her directly at the direction of her primary care doctor?  ", "post_id": "5vednu", "comment_id": "de1hsow"}, {"question": "if you're honest about your intentions-- as in don't want a rel.--  you are free to do anything. the other person either lives with it or not.  [one person hits ball--ball in other's court]", "comment": "I met this girl a while ago. She says she's not ready to date yet because she's coming out of a long relationship. We hang out a lot and have a lot of fun. Nothing physical. She says if she were ready to date she would defnitely date me.\n\nI found out she's been hanging out with another guy a lot (that she met before me). When I asked her about him, she said that there could be something between them (potentially) but that it doesn't matter because she doesn't want to date anybody right now.\n\nTo me it does matter because it looks like she's playing two guys at the same time while she's waiting to be ready to seriously date. I think it's not fair to me or to him. \n\nAm I wrong here? Just because she's not commited, she can just start building emotional bonds with as many guys as she wants? How should I handle it?\n\nI actually like her a lot. I can see long term things happening with her.", "post_id": "5su76k", "comment_id": "ddhttih"}, {"question": "That's grief in a nutshell.  You know intellectually but emotionally you have not caught up.  It should get better with time.  If it does not or if you want it to maybe go faster I'll suggest psychotherapy.  ", "comment": "I know that it's over and there's nothing I can ever do that will bring her back but there's still this niggling little hope inside me and its fucking tearing me apart every day. I can't do it anymore I want her so badly my brain won't let me accept that I can't have her. I just want to fucking die I don't want to feel like this anymore.", "post_id": "4biexc", "comment_id": "d1a02jd"}, {"question": "Ask her to go to marriage counseling with you.", "comment": "My wife and I have been together for 7 years, we have been married almost 4. We have 2 wonderful children. \n\nThe past couple years have been very taxing with the medical issues in the family. She has been diagnosed with ms, her mother had a stroke, we have had financial issues and stuck together through all of this.\n\nWe met young and everything happened really fast (I got her pregnant after 4 months together)\n\nThe past 6 months our dynamic  has changed and she told me she is no longer happy in our relationship. I feel I have been doing everything right but I got a little complacent in our relationship. She said she knows I love her and she loves me but  she feels that we have missed the primes of our lives. She don't know how she wants to proceed as we cannot afford to be separated or \"take a break\"\n\nI have recently been a lot more supportive In helping her. I even wrote a long love letter to her today spilling my feelings. She said she appreciated it and I knew it wouldn't change how she felt.\n\nWe still live together and sleep in the same bed and we have always been super supportive of each other. She stuck with me through career changes, a flooded house and I help her family a lot.\n\nSorry for rambling.\n\nI am lost and I need some advice as to what to do or just someone to listen to me.", "post_id": "6usqsu", "comment_id": "dlv4vjy"}, {"question": "is this the effect of mental illness or inebriation? ", "comment": "Yes, it\u2019s hard and traumatic and all of these horrible things, but you know what I just realized? It\u2019s so fucking embarrassing to be mentally ill and have an episode. I have depression, anxiety, and am somewhat recovered from anorexia. Last night I got pretty drunk and decided to send a Facebook message to my father, who I haven\u2019t spoken to in 5 years. I told him I forgave him but how he was the reason I\u2019ve done drugs, cut myself, starved myself, and have failed relationships. I don\u2019t want a relationship with him and now he thinks there\u2019s hope, I don\u2019t even know what the point of the message was. ", "post_id": "8h1b17", "comment_id": "dygq49e"}, {"question": "It's a risk factor, but you can't be sure if it were the cause in individual cases.", "comment": "My 25 year old brother suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm and stroke last night. His father said it was a birth defect and it got me to thinking that it was my birth mothers drug use during pregnancy that caused it. I tried to research it but I didn't find anything. Is her drug and alcohol use the cause of this?", "post_id": "5713pd", "comment_id": "d8p9qnb"}, {"question": "Yes.  Absolutely.  Extroversion/Introversion have nothing to do with how good your social skills are or how much anxiety you have over social situations.  Where you fall on the continuum has much more to do with the HOW you prefer to interact with others and what kinds of activities are needed to \"recharge your batteries\" when stressed.  \n\nSocial anxiety is something that can impact both extroverts and introverts equally.  It causes separate problems for each.  When social anxiety is high which causes people to avoid social situations, it causes problems for introverts because they generally already isolate themselves more because they generally enjoy activities that require more alone and quiet time.  Even though this is the case, introverts still do need and want to be social, and this limits their chances further.  A major problem for introverts with social anxiety is it generally causes more harm to their relationships as people who don't understand start to think that the introvert with social anxiety \"doesn't want to spend time with them.\"\n\nExtroverts who are socially anxious and avoid socializing can sometimes be hit harder by social anxiety.  The more extroverted you are, the more you NEED to socialize and have a lower tolerance for isolation, so in many ways, social anxiety can cause more pain for extroverts in this way.\n\n\n[-The WebShrink](http://thewebshrink.com/depression-or-recoverys-momentum/)", "comment": "I always thought I was an introvert with social anxiety and I played the part but now I\u2019m getting rid of my social anxiety and I found out I feel good when I\u2019m with people. Is it possible that I was unknowingly an extrovert?", "post_id": "99d575", "comment_id": "e4n9wm6"}, {"question": "HIV is a specific test. Many ERs will offer you that test regardless of why you're having blood drawn, but you always have the right to decline it.\n\nIf you're scared of having HIV, it's better to know and get it treated than have it advance and die of AIDS, right?", "comment": "Male, 20, 5'7, 156 Ibs, \n\nJust scared of having HIV, that's all.", "post_id": "8s8e3a", "comment_id": "e0xazd6"}, {"question": "u need marriage counseling", "comment": "Hi guys,\n\nwe've only been married for a short while about 16 months and our fights get more and more toxic. They start out by something simple and evolve into this big mess of shouting at each other a lot. We are looking for help to see what we need to learn about each other to be able to have normal conversations and we don't have to tip toe around each other. \n\nThis below is a conversation we had earlier today and it's messing up our relationship.\n\n11:02 - Husband: The oranges are very tasty\n\n11:05 - Wife: I know\n\n11:08 - Wife: Love them\n\n11:08 - Wife: I just ate one...\n\n11:09 - Wife: They are messy though...easier way to eat them is to quarter them with the skin on and then just eat them like a monkey\n\n11:11 - Husband: I peeled them and cut them in pieces after\n\n11:11 - Husband: It wasn't messy\n\n11:11 - Wife: Yea leave the skin on\n\n11:11 - Wife: You know what I mean?\n\n11:12 - Husband: Yeah that's too messy for me though. Can't eat like a monkey at work lol\n\n11:12 - Wife: You obviously have no idea what I mean\n\n11:13 - Wife: It's cleaner than the way you did it\n\n11:13 - Husband: I'm literally sighing\n\n11:14 - Wife: Well you don't know what I mean, clearly.\n\n11:14 - Wife: I didn't even lose one dri0 of juice\n\n11:15 - Husband: Good for you! Enjoy your orange however you like!\n\n11:16 - Wife: Whatever. You're ridiculous.\n\n11:17 - Wife: Im trying to help you..\n\n11:18 - Wife: I don't know what your problem is but you have to figure out a way to sort it out....everything I say you argue with, every kind and we'll intended suggestion you *sigh* about...you're constantly arguing with me and always defensive...you are going to end up alone because honestly I can't be married to someone like that.\n\n11:19 - Husband: I don't want to take the skin to work and touch it, I cut it in pieces and eat them with a spoon. No messy table, no dishes, no skins.\n\n11:19 - Husband: I have a method that is great and works for me and my situation.\n\n11:19 - Wife: Well then no need to *sigh*\n\n11:19 - Wife: You're just being mean.\n\n11:20 - Wife: And so rude.\n\n11:20 - Wife: It's been constant lately.\n\n11:20 - Husband: And now you're threatening me with divorce\n\n11:20 - Wife: I'm not.\n\n11:20 - Wife: I just said you have a lot of shit to figure out.\n\n11:20 - Wife: I won't live my life constantly being argued with\n\n11:21 - Wife: When I simply make a suggestion or comment.\n\n11:21 - Wife: Who the fuck does that?\n\n11:21 - Wife: Someone who wants to be alone in life...\n\n11:21 - Husband: Obviously\n\n11:21 - Wife: It doesn't seem like your capable\n\n11:21 - Wife: Plus you're always arguing with everything\n\n11:21 - Wife: So defensive all the time.\n\n11:23 - Husband: I'm not arguing with anything, I accept that you have a different method to eat oranges and I'm not denying that it's good or practical but I already have the perfect solution for eating an orange at work. Because I've been doing this method, true and tested for the last 20 years.\n\n11:23 - Wife: Ok well then font sigh at me!\n\nTLDR: Husband and wife have toxic conversations. Need help understanding each other.", "post_id": "612zgx", "comment_id": "dfbaeld"}, {"question": "It's fairly rare for hep C to be sexually transmitted, but it's not impossible. You probably should get tested. If you're negative, which you probably will be, it will set your mind at ease. If you're not, you're armed with the knowledge to follow it and get treatment.", "comment": "I'm a 25 year old female, from the USA, 140 lbs (don't think that matters though) not sexually promiscuous.\n\n​\n\n When I was 18 I had a year long relationship with a guy who I later found out had Hep C. I have never ever done drugs of any kind, but apparently he did and when he had surgery for something unrelated they told him.\n\n I never got tested and now 7 years later, somebody brought up the subject and for some reason my anxiety went through the roof wondering if I should have. I have a son, who I breastfeed and now I can't stop worrying about it. \n\nI have never had any symptoms, but I hear many don't. I guess my question is, how commonly is passed sexually? It is keeping me up at night worrying. Do I have a reason to be this worried or is not commonly passed that way?\n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "9mla3d", "comment_id": "e7fk7gi"}, {"question": "Really it is best to find the intersection between what you love and what is feasible for survival. There is likely a good bit of overlap. \n\nAlso, working in a great environment is really one of the best things in life, not necessarily how passionately you approach the work. I am just not sure how much young people realize that it is the toxic, \u201cgotcha!\u201d culture at many workplaces that drains the life out of you, not necessarily the work. ", "comment": "I\u2019m a 27 year old college graduate with a BA in English. My work experience includes 3 years as a supervisor, but in the financial and medical fields. \nI was laid off about 6 months ago and decided to pursue my passion and started working as a freelance writer.  \nAt first I was really excited to do something I love. But, now it is draining the joy out of writing as a hobby and I\u2019m barely making enough money to pay the bills. I currently live at home and don\u2019t have rent, but I would like to eventually buy my own home. \nAt this point, I think I need to pursue a more lucrative career that will allow me to follow other dreams like travel and repaying my parents. But, I\u2019m not really sure where to go from here. I don\u2019t need a six figure salary. I just want to feel comfortable and enjoy my life. \nHow do I figure out my next steps? ", "post_id": "8078xb", "comment_id": "dutmotu"}, {"question": "You're giving her protein. It's not exactly balanced nutrition. Multivitamins and/or omega-3 might be a better option.", "comment": "She is extremely picky when it comes to foods and I'm concerned that she's not getting her dailey nutrition. \n\nI make myself a protein shake in the morning. She does not like to drink milk. So, I pour a little bit into a cup for her, less than half a cup. Im making maybe a 16oz cup and I'll give her maybe 4. \n\nHer mom thinks this is a bad idea that's its not healthy for her. My argument is that now she's drinking milk and getting some proteins....\n\nIs it bad for her?\n\nhttps://imgur.com/gallery/oRa11\n\nThe protein in question\n\n", "post_id": "531mij", "comment_id": "d7p88sp"}, {"question": "It ain't your therapist doing the work here. You just took yourself back. Vulnerability will set you free once you realize there are safe people to be vulnerable with. Let the validation storm begin!! ", "comment": "Today I began intensive therapy with a BPD specialist. We\u2019re starting with sessions at twice a week, until I somewhat stabilize. \n\nBefore I walked into the appointment, I made a commitment to stop lying and downplaying my emotions to therapists. I want, and have wanted help but have consistently put guards up for any mental health professionals. This largely stems from mistreatment, and a horrific long-term psychiatric hospitalization. I told this to my new therapist, and she confirmed what I already suspected: my long term psychiatrist committed some severe medical malpractice. Nice to have that validated, honestly. \n\nWhen I stared talking to my new therapist, I could not stop. At first I thought, the floodgates are open, but it wasn\u2019t floodgates: it was my heart cracking open, releasing stuff I\u2019ve internalized and held onto for so many years. \n\nI\u2019m hopeful with this therapist. From what I gathered from the first session, she is sincere and nonjudgmental. Most importantly, she is already refuting my deepest fear: she will not commit me, in fact she said it\u2019ll objectively make me worse. \n\nI know the work needs to come from within, and I\u2019m finally feeling willing to do that. I have put off my recovery for so long, and am ready to heal, before I destroy myself or any further relationships. ", "post_id": "9f2e44", "comment_id": "e5ti6r6"}, {"question": "There's nothing wrong with saying you have general anxiety and you're not quite sure what's behind it all, but it's there.  Everyone has anxiety and everyone has a breaking point of what's too much anxiety.  Lets say on a scale of 1-10, 10 is the breaking point.  Most folks probably walk around at about a 2 or 3.  Folks with severe general anxiety start there day at about a 7-9.  That makes it so that it may not take much to get you to that breaking point.  \n\n\nThat's one way you could explain it, if you even want to.  You don't really owe anyone an explanation unless you feel like it would be helpful to explain yourself.  \n\n\nJust an fyi though, for most folks with general anxiety, it's usually a combination of both genetic predispositions to being more anxious in general along with some deep psychological \"reasons\" whether it be certain thought patterns, lack of healthy coping skills, too much avoidance behaviors throughout life, etc.  so if you do want to get better, therapy can help you figure this out and work towards recovering.\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/depression-or-recoverys-momentum/)", "comment": "It\u2019s a rhetorical question; I just need to get this off my chest and out of my head. \n\n\nWhen I reach out for help or open up to someone about my anxiety, I almost always end up being asked what\u2019s causing it. I know they mean well and are trying to understand, but I find it makes me feel more damaged because there often isn\u2019t a specific thing that I am anxious and crying about. I already feel like an idiot for crying over literally nothing, but I can\u2019t stop no matter what I try. I wish there was an identifiable reason that I could address, but there isn\u2019t, and trying to admit and explain that when I\u2019m already an emotional shipwreck makes it that much more painful.", "post_id": "993tuk", "comment_id": "e4krgvu"}, {"question": "ASDs are, more often than not, diagnosed quite a few years before it appears you were diagnosed.  May I ask if this has something to do with your mother's dismissive attitude/behavior towards you?  ASD can be a difficult diagnosis for parents to wrap their heads around, particularly because their children are involved, so denial or avoidant behaviors aren't uncommon.  \n\nI apologize in advance for anything I might say regarding your mom that may be perceived as offensive.  Your mother sounds like a real piece of work.  I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Based on the few brief interactions you described, she really doesn't seem supportive or pleasant to be around.  Despite all that, she is your mother, so she wins by default...in some areas.  When it comes to your suicidal ideation/self-injurious behaviors/etc., your mother's lack of acknowledgement with how you're feeling, how she can help, what can she do to make things better, how can things change, etc. is upsetting/concerning.  She comes across as more self-absorbed than is her relationship with you.  It's really difficult trying to have a conversation with someone with the type of personality she portrays.  Changing her behavior is more unlikely than likely, but she would have to want to change, which it doesn't sound like she would even consider to problematic.  \n\nYou're almost 18, are you going away to school or is it possible for you to move out?  Moving away from parents who act like your mom can actually play a role in salvaging a relationship with her, if you would like one.  \n\nSimply asking whether you are being selfish is likely a reflection of the way your mother has conditioned you to feel.  My answer to your question is ABSOLUTELY NOT.  You are not being selfish.  You are a child (legally), and your mother has a duty to take care of you.  I don't care if you actually were being selfish, it still does not give anyone the right to treat you as if your feelings/experiences/emotions/etc do not matter.  YOU MATTER.", "comment": "Context: 17M, I've been diagnosed with severe social anxiety, depression, and more recently autism. (High functioning, mostly communication barriers) \n\nI've always dealt with suicidal ideation, tendencies, self harm and overthinking. Due to these factors I struggle a lot, but dont talk about it much. \n\nWhenever I tell my mom that I need immediate help by being admitted to a mental health ward she dismisses whatever I say. \n\nShe shuts me down and simply talks about things that she struggles with instead; reminding me that things are shitty for everyone and not just me. \n\nWhen I express my needs, or whatever is on my mind she just tells me that she relates to my problems, if I get defensive or irritable she tells me that I'm being a bratty teen and that if I want to be treated like an adult then I need to talk to her \"respectfully\". \n\nMind you its already taken so much time for me to get to the point of being able to physically talk to her rather than handing her a note or text. \n\nWe fought pretty bad recently, I told her that I'm tired of having to parent my parent (Having to be HER emotional support). She then wailed on me, basically saying, \"Excuse me you little fucking bitch? Are you really going to use that tone with me right now? You cant even begin to comprehend or understand what it's like having to parent your parent. Grow a fucking pair and get off your ass.\" She blocked the only exit to my room while yelling at the top of her lungs. \n\nI just don't know what to do, I'm tired of hyperventilating. I'm tired of always being suffocated by this cloud, tired of the stressors. \n\nIs that selfish?", "post_id": "elnr1v", "comment_id": "fdj7dvi"}, {"question": "Zoloft has no dangerous interactions with alcohol, although it might make you feel sleepy faster.\n\nAlcohol consumed in moderation is fine, but it tends to worsen depression. Just something to be aware of.", "comment": "Female, 24, 158 lbs, 5'5, 150mg Zoloft\n\nWould it be okay to have a drink or two in social situations on Zoloft?", "post_id": "e75k7a", "comment_id": "f9viwyk"}, {"question": "Marriage and Family Therapist here-\n\nUse Psychology Today's Therapist Finder (easily findable through a search engine). It's an industry standard and most MFTs are on it. Best of luck, feel free to PM me if you have any questions! ", "comment": "For many years I have flirted with the idea of talking to someone professional about all of my baggage, but I have always hesitated after I made the decision to talk to someone.  This is mainly because I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to finding someone that I can work with.  I understand that it will be a trial and error with who I can get comfortable with, but that first step has always seemed the most daunting.  I have had a couple of GP's offer to write me a referral (even though I don't need one), but never took them up on it because I never really trusted their choice.\n\nIs there some sort of Psych(iatrist/ologist) or therapist screening type place (be it a website or catalog of some sort) I can look at to see what type of work they \"specialize\" in.\n\nThanks NA.\n\n", "post_id": "101dam", "comment_id": "c69pygi"}, {"question": "your wife  is being ridiculous and prob voted for dt", "comment": "My wife and I raised our daughter to understand a marriage can only exist between man and woman in our country. But laws have changed since. I do not hate homos, I do not like homos, I just ignore them.\n\nOur daughter told us today after her hockey session, and told us about her teammate (different school, but good friends) is gay. I said that alright, but my wife was fuming, telling her it was her last session and she is not to talk with her again, saying it was unsafe to speak to her or be in the changing room with her.\n\nThe girls do get changed together, go eat together after practice and games, and often get car lifts together. This is normal social stuff. I don't think being friends with a homo will make my daughter a homo, she just needs to ignore and play hockey.\n\nIf not sure if my wife is overreacting, are girls this close? Is there a risk of my daughter learning about the wrong type of relationships? How can I let her go to hockey with a re-enforced understanding of what is normal and what is not. Social bonding with her friends is important.", "post_id": "5s8umc", "comment_id": "ddd8jet"}, {"question": "Can you call someone? And not be alone right now? ", "comment": "Our cat was 16; he hadn\u2019t eaten for a few days so I chopped him some meat and tried to feed it to him like a pill. It lodged in his throat and I couldn\u2019t get it out and when we got to the vets there was nothing they could do and I just... I never meant for that to happen. I didn\u2019t mean to. I hate myself and I want to kill myself. I don\u2019t know what to do.", "post_id": "8lc5u1", "comment_id": "dzeg7nd"}, {"question": "I'm on the same boat. 3 more months until I see her again! I can't wait! ", "comment": "So my lady friend is back after being abroad for 5 months and I am very happy. I missed her while she was away more than I care to admit. We got brunch today and we talked for hours. It was very nice and I feel very happy. \n\nThat is all. I know this isn't the usual offmychest post but I'm so happy I just have to tell someone. \nIt's very nice.", "post_id": "49kpme", "comment_id": "d0th2c0"}, {"question": ">Please be as detailed as possible in your submissions. The more information we have the more we can help. **It is mandatory to include**: Age, Sex, Height, Weight, Race, Duration of complaint, Location on body, Any diagnosed medical issues, Current medications and doses, any recreational drugs, smoking status. Include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example).\n\nI hate to have to ask this, but was your celiac disease self-diagnosed or diagnosed by a doctor?", "comment": "Hi guys,\n\nI found out I was celiac over two years ago now. Before that I was having runs as well as an upset stomach all the time. After becoming celiac I no longer had the symptoms or very rarely which I assumed I would get when sometimes there might be cross contamination. Now I constantly have the same symptoms again, even though I am still on the gluten free diet. Could it be that I need more fibre or something? I am a little confused as to what to do!\n\nThank you for any help!", "post_id": "9d3bi3", "comment_id": "e5fnger"}, {"question": "I struggle with death anxiety a lot. If I were in your situation, it would trigger a great deal of stress and anxiety and intrusive thoughts for me. I\u2019m sure that would leave me feeling mentally drained just like you. So death anxiety is the reason I would react that way in your situation; whatever your reason for reacting this way, it\u2019s valid. You don\u2019t have to like someone in order to be impacted by their death.\n\nEdit for typo ", "comment": "I have been on medication for my ADHD no for about a year and over all things have been better personal and professional, during the Christmas break my girlfriend and I got the news that her father was found dead in his apartment.\n\nI have an exam tomorrow which I will have to skip and then apply for dispensation, the thing is I don't feel like I should feel as stressed and overwhelmed over this as I am.\n\nI did not even like the man and neither did my girlfriend and I didn't think that he was a good person, even though I didn't like him and I in a way do not care about his death, this has completely drained me mentally.\n\nTL;DR\nMy girlfriends whom I did not like father passed away and I still feel mentally drained and stressed.\n\n", "post_id": "ac54ma", "comment_id": "ed58yiq"}, {"question": "Always listen to the words, not the actions. She wants casual. Period. Don't read into anything. Even if it *seems* contradictory.", "comment": "I just wanted to know how to deal with this situation..\n\nI really like this girl and want a relationship with her, but she already told me that she doesn't want it as she doesn't feel \"ready\". We make out, I sleep with her in the same bed, we cuddle, hold hands and kiss each other just like a couple. We had oral sex but nothing more... So I don't know but I don't think that you would do these things to \"someone like a normal friend\" obviously... \nSo what do you guys think? Thanks in advance:)", "post_id": "73zqde", "comment_id": "dnucqwi"}, {"question": "I like to think of it as way to work on ourselves with someone\u2019s support and guidance. It\u2019s pretty nice because it\u2019s one of the few situations you\u2019ll be in that the other person is entirely focused on your needs vs the give-and-take in day-to-day relationships. I would call around and talk to multiple therapists for a few minutes to get a better idea if they would be a good fit for you. And you don\u2019t have to share everything on your first session if you aren\u2019t comfortable with that, you can ease into it.", "comment": "I know I have pretty bad anxiety issues, and I\u2019ve had them for as long as I can remember. Now I feel like depression is becoming a problem.\n\nI\u2019m terrified of talking to a therapist. I do not like thinking about my past, or any of my problems, so talking about them to a complete stranger seems terrible.\n\nThose of you currently in/have been in therapy, what is it like? And is it less scary after you actually do it?\n\nTL;DR terrified of going to therapy and talking to a stranger about my problems. What is therapy actually like and were any of you scared at first?", "post_id": "7wxvho", "comment_id": "du42x53"}, {"question": "sounds like he is pretty committed. and has the maturity to wait for the right moment. hang in, you'll get there.", "comment": "I've (21) been dating my boyfriend for the past 5 years(26) and it's been the most amazing 5 years of my life . I am still totally inlove with him and so is he , without a doubt\n\nA year ago we agreed that we would wait before making any commitments -since I'm in varsity and have 3 more years to go... which I was fine with. We sometimes apart for a while - not longer than a month- yet we still going strong .\n\nWe talk everyday and he is always assuring me of his love and still wanting to spend his life with but somehow I want commitment.  I don't know if it's wanting something in my hand for ego or security.  I families have met to talk about it and they are ok with us waiting but so was I at a point \n\nMaybe I'm just overreacting. ..I don't know but I feel like this desire is pulling me away from him. We spoke about it and he says he wants to do things right when we can really affford. I just love him so muchis there anything I can do to convince him or change my reasoning? Or maybe his still unsure? I'm so confused", "post_id": "5pjrbc", "comment_id": "dcrpx28"}, {"question": "Visit your general practitioner for a physical exam.", "comment": "When I lay on the right side of my head I feel pressure on the left side of my head and when I touch the right side of my head it feels way weaker then the left side of my head. I've had this for 2 years and it's only starting to bother me now. What is it? I am a white 16 year old male, I take the orange Asthma inhaler every now and then, I don't drink, I am not a smoker and I don't use recreational drugs.", "post_id": "hg669r", "comment_id": "fw20add"}, {"question": "I assume you have a therapist and take meds. Be open and honest. If the relationship is strong, you'll work through it together.", "comment": "So I have been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now. I suffer with mental illness, in the past I used drugs to cope but I have recently went to rehab and solved that problem. But in my mind I'm always feeling something that I don't let everybody else see. I feel so fake like I want everyone to know the truth about me. But now I also have this belief that everyone is fake, and now I'm not able to trust anymore because I can't trust myself. I love my girlfriend but I feel as though I'm not enough because my mental illness puts some restrictions on my life. Should I take some time to work on myself or stay with the girl of my dreams and try to get better?", "post_id": "70tg4j", "comment_id": "dn5ucrz"}, {"question": "call the police", "comment": "A little over two weeks ago I hung out with a guy, I used to work with, alone for the first time. We were in his car and he forced himself on me. After it happened I was really shocked and embarressed (I still blamed myself). I did not go to the police or tell my parents, all I did was reach out to a sexual assault hotline and go to a clinic to check for STD's and pregnancy (Thankfully everything was negative). I am still trying to cope and decide what to do but a few days ago I started getting texts from him and he started actually calling me. This is very alarming and it is really scaring me. I never answer back and about 3 times he tried face timing me (I never answered). He texted me saying \"I really wanna talk with you\" \"I don't like how things ended last time\" \"I hope you don't think I'm weird\" \"why are you ignoring me\" \" I need to see you again\". I can just never respond and it makes me feel sick that he keeps contacting me like this. I blocked his number after he wouldn't stop, and then I started getting calls almost everyday from unknown numbers, when I would answer there was just breathing on the other  end, it was so creepy and I stopped answering all phone calls. Last night I got a snapchat request from someone and accepted it and it was him sending me snapchats. He just made it because the profile only had 1 point on it. At this point am I very scared, also because he knows what street I live on and I'm afraid to leave the house or stay alone at home. I really don't know what to do anymore because i have such bad anxiety and cannot sleep, when I do I just have nightmares. ", "post_id": "608ep3", "comment_id": "df4c5zl"}, {"question": "That's tough man. What kind of goals and desires do you have? It's essential to have something good to fill the hole we leave by stopping a bad", "comment": "My highest streak was 70 days and things were going amazingly well. However, living with parents, being addicted to video games has kept me in a loop where I am now constantly relapsing. I know what I need to do but breaking the first week or two is hard as fuck.\n\n​\n\nI strive to not fap but I always fall in a loop where I get bored and lonely and crave that dopamine fix. I'm stuck in a mindset where I'm smoking 24/7, fapping, and playing video games and I feel like such a loser. I can't go out because I have high anxiety from fapping and staying at home always leads to relapses. God damn it, I need to find a way to make this easier.", "post_id": "bn3nme", "comment_id": "en21dj2"}, {"question": "As far as friends go, I'd say you need to find places where people that have similar interests as you gather.  \n\n\nFor instance, 2 ways I typically meet new people.  I'm a musician.  I go to bars and coffee shops that host open mic nights.  I perform and generally spend time talking to the other performers.\n\n\nI'm a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd.  I found a discord in my area for players looking to meet people and form groups.  I found a group recently with a bunch of cool people I've never met before and it's going fairly well.  \n\n\nFind some way to take what your interested in and find where people are doing that socially.  \n\n\nAs far as being in a mostly white state and wanting to have friends who share the same culture as you and wanting to date an Asian girl.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences, but if you are ONLY looking for those things, in your area, you may miss out on other good opportunities for friends and dating, so I'd say, keep your preferences and shoot for it, but also be open-minded.  See if there are any organizations/churches/clubs/etc. specifically for Asian-Americans in your area.  Other than that, it'll be all about chance run-ins.  \n\n\nFor dating, dating apps/websites can be helpful if you're really only interested in a particular ethnicity that is sparse in the population of your area.    ", "comment": "I just graduated from college, bunch of friends... in a fraternity .. lived at the house with 17 other guys.. always had sorority girls as friends to chill with ... always hanging out around the house while in college with others...\n\nI just got a job in a completely different state, know no one here. I feel like the past couple of months I have no social interactions unless I am visiting nyc (hometown) to hang with friends, or chilling with co workers at work. I really see this taking a toll on my love life and social life in the long term and want to see what I can do not before I\u2019m 40 with no friends besides the ones across the country. \n\nAny tips for a young college grad? I am almost sure many other kids are experiencing the same thing talking to a couple of friends...\n\nIt was easy in college where I am placed in these social situations like class or clubs but when I\u2019m working I just don\u2019t have hobby\u2019s that I can use to meet others since I don\u2019t have any. I am also Asian if that matters? I know there isn\u2019t a large Asian population here but I would honestly like some friends that share the same culture as me? I would also want to date an Asian girl which is why I would also Persue this route. I am from NYC where there are a good amount of Asians so being a minority moving to a small rural predominately white state just makes me feel out of place?\n\nEdit- I am in Rhode Island if that matters, I have been thinking of ways to try and expand myself to Boston since I do miss the urban scene and they do have a decent amount of Asians.", "post_id": "9f738k", "comment_id": "e5unb4z"}, {"question": "Mine is also a car metaphor, which is that everyone hits speed bumps in life, but while everyone else just slows down and continues on after a speed bump, it puts me into the ditch every single time. And then I begin a long and arduous process of towing myself out so I can continue on, only to find myself back in the ditch again after the next speed bump.", "comment": "As a recently diagnosed middle-aged dude, I've dived into the rabbit hole of ADHD videos, forums, articles etc over the last few months and love some of the concepts people use to explain the condition.  \n\n\nLong before I knew what ADHD was, my explanation for my state of mind was that my brain is a car with a powerful engine, but no transmission. All those thoughts and ideas don't make a difference because they can't turn the wheels and get any grip on the road.   \n\n\nI've heard some similar ones, like Dr Ned Hallowell's \"ADHD brains are a Ferarri with no brakes\" - what are your favourite ideas to explain (your version of) ADHD?", "post_id": "aere7i", "comment_id": "edrw4uo"}, {"question": "Lots of people think they have an \"opinion\" on suicide, but often the opinion is actually their feelings at the time not their actual, unbiased, long term goals. BPD is extremely compromising in terms of ability to see forward and see different emotional futures. Suicide is not necessarily a cowardly act but it is a very short sighted and reactive act that never ends with success. When people who survived jumping suicides were asked, over 90% said they regretted it immediately and wished they hadn't and everyone was glad they survived. Suicide is a very validating thought, but a horribly invalidating action. You were absolutely right to call people out for glorifying it or validating it as a way to deal. But people are going to hate on you for it because of what they are feeling at the time. ", "comment": "Made some shit comments about my disdain for those who commit suicide.   It's like I think about that shit daily.   I hate myself most days but I can't pass my pain on to my daughter.  I'm a mess.  \n\nBack to the subject I think suicide is a cowards way out.  See I say this because if I make it acceptable in my mind then I'll probably actually do it.  \n\nPeople didn't see that. They replied that I was being harsh and judgemental about a person's life I know nothing of.  That because I don't feel it's a good thing to do ever, that I'm insensitive to people's issues.\n\nI'm so fucking broken in my own mind.  I thrive on attention seeking and acceptance.   So when you make suicide get attention and acceptance it makes it sound more doable.   I hate myself because someone didn't get my point.  I am depressed now because it feel like an asshole.  When really, I just don't want suicide to be somewhat glorified.   \n\nFuck I feel like all of my thoughts suck.  My mind is like this is why you have no friends.  Your stories suck, your ideas suck and what you say sucks.   I should just die because I suck at being a person.  I can't be a good person if I just bash illnesses I have.  Fuck. I feel terrible.  Going to sleep.  ", "post_id": "6on9mh", "comment_id": "dkiweq3"}, {"question": "The absolute best thing for most kids in this situation is to be supportive of their parents. For example,  studies have found better outcomes when parents receive help than when kids are taken away .\n\nInstead of framing your sister as manipulative , how about framing her as a person in an abusive relationship, with mental illness who needs support to parent ?", "comment": "I\u2019m the aunt of two adorable and brilliant kiddos aged 4 & 3. As far back as I can remember my sister, their mother, has had extreme social/ behavioral issues. Her behavior includes weekly tantrums where she threatens (sometimes physically acts on the threats), verbally abuses, and has manipulate recollections of events to skew favor. Their father unfortunately is the same. He has caused my sister to get evicted from 2 homes bc he beats her and threatens neighbors. As far as I can think she\u2019s always been incredibly malicious and demented when in this state. Though when she\u2019s not acting out she\u2019s incredibly sweet and personable. She\u2019s almost 30 and I don\u2019t have space or energy for her anymore. My concern is with my niece and nephew. I fear the trauma they witness daily will negatively impact them. Not only will it impact their perception of reality but they\u2019ll be affected academically, socially, etc...They are already portraying signs of excessive aggression and manipulation. When the younger one gets happy he curses and hits things. When he\u2019s angry he spits and lunges for attack. When his older sister wants something she smiles, says \u201cI love you...can I ____?\u201d I tried to explain she doesn\u2019t have to do that but imagine being told one thing and experiencing another. I lived with my sister before moving out, I know how stressful and damaging it is. I feel so upset seeing them have to deal with her but it\u2019s like nothing my family or I do can properly counter it.\n\n*Shes been hospitalized 3x before due to her behavior- she doesn\u2019t get a proper diagnosis for retention.\n*Child protective services has been called before and my sister proceeded to slip into the kind homemaker role throwing them off the trail.\n*We (the family) don\u2019t want the kids to be taken and put into a facility bc no one is in a position to properly care for them. -too old/ too young/ or out of state for career.\n*What I\u2019ve mentioned is nothing compared to her true behavior...she\u2019s dangerous and I want to know how to counter her influence until I can make a solid plan or atleast spend more time with them.", "post_id": "hd9skj", "comment_id": "fvjwar7"}, {"question": "You can overdose, but 125 mg will not usually do it. An overdose tends to be similar but not identical to the anticholinergic toxidrome.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "9cfab8", "comment_id": "e5a9p71"}, {"question": "Sounds like you might have social anxiety :) Have you thought about seeing a therapist? If you are a student, you probably have free counseling available to you through your school's counseling center. I recommend you schedule an appointment and see if they can help!", "comment": "So basically, anytime I am doing something, say walking outside, and i see people nearby, I usually turn around and walk somewhere else. Or if i see someone I haven't seen in a while, sometimes I pretend to not notice him until I am a good distance away.  \n  \nBasically, I just realized this that I might be afraid of people. I recently moved to the United States, and I must say that people here are very nice and smiling, even strangers on the street just say hi, Maybe I'm not used to it, but my stomach starts cramping, and I start sweating a lot.  \nHow should I overcome this. I go to the university here. Im a sophomore (I don't live on campus), I don't have any friends, I just can't talk to people. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!", "post_id": "4fwbob", "comment_id": "d2csos3"}, {"question": "Post about that craving or talk to another alcoholic when it comes. That'll save you from making posts like this. Three days is a long time to stew on a craving.", "comment": "I have always gone to extremes with obtaining alcohol, and this was one of them. My parents have a locked up refrigerator where they keep their alcohol (this has worked pretty well) but today I was home alone, and found a way to break into that fridge and get some of the alcohol. I didnt want to but somehow the craving was a lot stronger than normal. And I had the equivalent of a glass of wine and a few shots. (Because I knew she would notice if I took more). This actually the third day that Ive been craving, but I completely gave in and found a way to get to the alcohol\n\nI know that I cannot drink the alcohol in the fridge anymore because it will become noticeable, but in the mean time can anyone give me suggestions for curbing the cravings?? Ive tried tea, but need other suggestions!\n", "post_id": "1i1862", "comment_id": "cb04wx5"}, {"question": "Yes I do. I also really hate \u201cI\u2019m sorry that happened to you\u201d. It always feels condescending to me. Like, why are you sorry? You didn\u2019t cause it. \n\nHonestly I don\u2019t know if there\u2019s any response I find comfortable. The only thing I don\u2019t hate is something like \u201cthat must have been really difficult\u201d or \u201cit sounds like that really affected you\u201d. Maybe when people just nod and maintain eye contact and indicate that they are present with me. Something that is about me and my experience rather than about what it\u2019s like for them to hear about it. Something that lets me know that I can talk about the impact to them and they can handle hearing it.", "comment": "I have a pretty extensive trauma history including an abusive childhood, my dad being sick and dying at a young age and being sexually assaulted weeks before his death. I\u2019ve been getting help for years and I\u2019m doing pretty well considering. I recently started talking to a new therapist who does EMDR. I mentioned the fact that my assault happened three weeks before my dads death and she had that kind of ooooh or awwww that\u2019s so horrible reaction to it. Does anyone else hate that? Don\u2019t get me wrong I\u2019m glad people acknowledge the shittiness of it because it was pretty shitty. But I wish people wouldn\u2019t have that reaction to my face I know how it was I lived it I don\u2019t need you to feel pity or anything ya know? Or maybe I\u2019m just being a dick I don\u2019t know. ", "post_id": "b9pzto", "comment_id": "ek6i1o2"}, {"question": "The best way I can describe my ADHD is that it's like being locked in a small room with a bunch of TVs playing only static. You try to focus on finding a way out of the room and try to tune out the noises that surround you, but no matter what there's this constant hum all around you that never goes away. ", "comment": "So basically it's past the first week of highschool and I can already tell it will be absolute hell for me. I'll be sitting in class literally looking at the teacher talk to us and I'll just see his lips moving and I'll hear what he's saying but I will have to put all my energy to actually listen to him. Like honestly 5 minutes of \"listening\" to him and knowing what he says I'll be exhausted like I'll fell uncomfortable physically and emotionally just trying to pay attention. And when I look around everyone else looks calm and they look like they understand. That makes me feel lost and helpless. And that's just the first period. Its like this in every single class. Is there something wrong with me? I've been asking my dad to schedule an appointment to see the doctor so I can tell him this but my dad says I'm just making excuses and shit. I feel so trapped.", "post_id": "2f7v47", "comment_id": "ck6ssuo"}, {"question": "Agreed- I've posted with alts before and been hit with some serious venom.  It's \"offmychest\" not \"ridiculemyopinionbyinsertingyourownassumptions\"  \n  \nAll the responses to my last post complaining about a friend were along the lines of \"you don't know what you're talking about you cunt!\"   - Thanks guys, I'm sure you know the situation better than I do.  \n  \nEdit: wow, is there some kind of actual infiltration/concerted troll effort going on?  These comments are HORRENDOUS.  But at least I can take comfort in the stupidity of it all.", "comment": "damn, alot of people who post here are emotional/at their wits end. I just want to say to these fuckhats.. (can't use names, because apparently that is more of an offence than attacking people with hatred) I hope you are satisfied with being a giant cunt, because your internet words may actually cause something bad to happen. Fuck you with a hockey stick.", "post_id": "1olzjr", "comment_id": "cctaahu"}, {"question": " You know you can report them, right?  You do have the grounds for a suit if you can show that you did not improve despite their treatment.", "comment": "I went there, every week. I entered your office every time, even when I didn't want to, even when I was dead tired. I tried to open up, believe me. I tried talking for the sake of talking, focusing more on getting words out than on the content. I thought about specific issues and opened them up, did my best to describe them against your indifferent, cold stare.\n\nI told you time and time again - I don't feel you care. I feel like you're here to get my paycheck and move on. I got more sympathy and care from the fucking chain of command in the military, and they're the ones who pushed me to suicide. My ex girlfriend used me like a rag and she was better at paying attention to you.\n\nI can't believe I wasted all this money, all this faith, hoping you'd help me. You never, ever asked anything about anything I told you. You never followed up. You expected me to lead all the sessions. Why? So you could do less work?\n\n​\n\nSomeday, we could jail therapists like you.", "post_id": "claqjr", "comment_id": "evue5jk"}, {"question": "You get to define what love is, and your post keeps coming back to some construct of what you're \"supposed to\" feel, else it doesn't count.  That just isn't accurate or valid.  If you think she's great and cool and attractive and you like the idea of doing coupley stuff in a long-term sense, then I'm not sure what else you'd really be looking for.", "comment": "So I have been dating a fantastic girl for a little over 8 months. She is amazing, talented, beautiful, funny, and the best person I could ever ask for. She told me that she is in love with me a few weeks ago and I'm not in love with her. I don't constantly think about her, I don't feel in pain if I'm not with her, and I'm just not in love with her. \n\nShe keeps confronting me about how I'm not in love with her and she's getting a bit upset because she's always heard that guys fall in love first. I really do want to be in love with her because she's so amazing and I really do like her. What do I do? ", "post_id": "1groky", "comment_id": "can93if"}, {"question": "Break up with girlfriend. Get with sister. ", "comment": "So it's a long story. So two years ago I fell for my girlfriend i wasn't looking for a relationship and we just found each other and we fell in love. We were very cheesy we would go on date nights and give each other random gifts and show each other all the affection in the world. We couldn't be away from each other it was like an addiction we would party at night and be the romantic couple during the day. We would have sex daily life was perfect this situation lasted all the time until 4 months ago. That's when things got a little weird. I was still in love with my girlfriend but she didn't excite me she didn't turn me on. I tried my best but I couldn't get hard around her. Before she would take her shirt off and instantly hard now she could be giving me a bj and nothing..... it drives me nuts. I told her I don't know why this happened and she just gets angry at me. So she starts becoming more and more distant. I keep trying and she spends more time with our friends when we go out. So of course I spend time with the group as well. I start getting close to her sister of all people it was just friendly I took her as my sister she took me as her brother nothing bad. We smoked weed one night as a group and the sister came up to me looked me in the eye and said I love being high around you I don't need a filter and touched my chest. I was in the middle of talking to someone else and I looked at her like what she smiled at me and didn't leave. I had a feeling she wanted me that was the vibe I got off of her. I looked at my girlfriend and felt horrible... my girlfriend me the sister and my workmate were all walking together that night my girlfriend and my workmate were far away close and joking with each  other i was with the sister she kept stopping to tie her laces or holding me back because I said a funny joke I realised she wanted me on our own and I kept thinking look at this little minx trying to get with me... I was disgusted. My girlfriend tells me the next day that I don't text her sister enough that her sister was complaining so trying not to upset my girlfriend i started texting the sister. I texted her and she told me to text her on Snapchat so I did. We texted for a few days the next day I saw here she was staring at me and smiling touching me hugging me and pinching my ass. I found it weird but everytime I tried to get close to my girlfriend she would visibly show she wasn't interested anymore. Then for some reason I started to enjoy the attention from the sister probably because she was the only one giving me attention. So we texted and we both stared at each other smiling while my girlfriend was talking to friends or wasn't in the room. I got on with the sister much better than my girlfriend. One day it was my cousin my girlfriend me and the sister watching a horror movie. My girlfriend went to the other room to sleep because she had work. My cousin was watching the movie and the sister moved closer to me. I took a risk I rubbed my hand against her arm for awhile she looked at me and smiled then she started playing with my chain. And looking at me in my eyes to see if I minded. I smiled at her and put my hands on her belly under her shirt and started feeling her skin not sexually just passionately and she smiled more and pulled my chain to get me closer my cousin turned around so she let go of the chain. I didn't stop touching her because my hand was under a blanket. When he turned around she grabbed my chain again. And pulled me closer she reached for my hand and held it it was a mixture of passion and love there was this powerful energy surrounding us. I had never felt that way before. She agreed with me it was intense I didn't do anything else because I didn't want to cheat so we watched the rest of the movie holding hands it felt unreal the energy surrounding us was indescribable. When the movie was over she went to her sister and we texted the whole night until 6 in the morning. To have an excuse for texting so late in stayed up with my cousin watching a few more movies and playing games. The sister and I agreed to stop what we had because we didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. But everytime I'm alone with my girlfriend she's happy and I feel good but not romantically good the spark from the sister was so overwhelming that I feel almost nothing from my girlfriend i still care about her but I don't think I love her. We had sex a few times the only reason I was able to get hard was because I was thinking of the sister.... it's sounds horrible i know. I know how bad this sounds. ", "post_id": "6a59hl", "comment_id": "dhbryty"}, {"question": "Great. What a gift a sober grand dad will be ! ", "comment": "So long over due. Alcohol has been my constant companion for 47 years. (Since 10 years old).  It has preoccupied every aspect of my life. My companion turned me in to a finely tuned,high functioning alcoholic. Good times, bad times, in a group or alone. It was always time for a drink. It was never time to stop. \n    My true companion, my wife has loved me and put up with my constant companion for 37 years. I've never been abusive in any way. We raised two sons that have turned into very good men.\n  I've been sober nearly 100 days now. Since my son and pregnant daughter in-law saw me black out and hit my head late one evening after a day  of vodka, then gin. (Told you I was a Finley tuned machine). The wife was out of town.\n  The new Bio:  I welcomed in to the world today, my first Grandchild. A beautiful baby girl. What an  incentive to stay my course. I want her mother to know that she will always be looked after at our house. I want my wife to know the other companion is gone. \n  I never want my baby girl to know a drunk Grandpa \n    I wrote this so I can look back and  remember this day. Thanks if you made it through the whole ramble. If it helps anyone, all the better\n    IWNDWYT ", "post_id": "9eue23", "comment_id": "e5rxw9l"}, {"question": "Some of this depends on details of the heart disease requiring transplant. Generally, barring immediate complications, functional outcomes are good. After a transplant most people can resume work and, although they are usually deconditioned from illness, can resume exercising.\n\nIn your terms, he probably won\u2019t immediately gain strength, but he will regain enough stamina to eventually regain strength and more stamina if he works at it.\n\nThere\u2019s no promise of a good outcome, but that is the outcome for most patients in the short term and lasting for years.", "comment": "Hello,\nMy father (69M) is set up to receive a heart transplant any time between now and the next six months. The last year or so of his life been pretty up and down as his heart failure has resulted in multiple trips to the ER as well as a pic line set up for him to take diaretic and other fluids at home. \n\nMy main question, which answer has been (understandably) very wishy washy from doctors is, if a heart transplant is successful, what will my dads life look life afterwards? I understand it takes time for the body to accept the organ and what not so just going off best case scenarios. Right now three flights of stairs would be a lot for him. He used to be an avid skier and hiker. Would he be able to pick some of those activities back up? Or does his endurance and strength stay about the same, just overall is better and he gets to see my family grow up?\n\nThank you for your time", "post_id": "e2nw3g", "comment_id": "f8wpr2m"}, {"question": "If you want to keep them as a friend and see some potential there, it's really important for you to tell them 2 things.  \n\n1.  How their insults make you feel.\n2.  That you need them to stop doing it.  \n\n\nIf they are genuinely interested in being your friend and not your bully they'll make an effort to do better.  If it keeps on happening you have to make the decision of it's worth it for you.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8nmlht", "comment_id": "dzwngbg"}, {"question": "Keep on keeping on!", "comment": "I haven't even wanted to smoke weed today! Even though my A/C was out most of the day (it was 93F inside my house) I didn't really have a smoking urge to deal with the heat.\n\nI also haven't been drinking for 3 days, which is really helping.\n\nI think when I make it to a week I will take myself out for a nice meal to celebrate.\n\nThanks for reading and helping me stay honest.\n\nEdit: sorry for all the recent posting but  a daily check-in post here is one of my goals for the /r/90daysgoal, so I hope y'all don't mind", "post_id": "4yewoh", "comment_id": "d6nppqb"}, {"question": "Give it a day or two. If you still feel like you need it, go. I don\u2019t think you are in a place right now to have perspective or to know whether these incidents have impacted you beyond the normal euphoria after such an experience.", "comment": "Hey,\n\nDon't quite know where to put this, and I'm aware this probably sounds like I'm either humble-bragging or being disingenuous, but I don't want my family to find out, and the big R was the first choice for asking about this, of sorts:\n\nSo, today, I had the luck of being one of the first responders in an emergency situation, and, together with others, I was able to save a life. This was a specifically cathartic moment for me, it seems, because five years ago, I was involved in a similar situation where first aid was unsuccessful, and where a person close to me died.\n\nSo, since the event, around 24 hours ago, I find that some of my everyday booboos are gone: Usually, my hands hurt after a day of work; today, they do less. I've had some tummy ache for probably a month; it's gone now. My bad knee is now my good knee; something like that.\n\nWhich leads me to the initial question: Should I consider therapy?  - Either I'm just getting off an adrenaline rush for the ages, or it seems there's really still \"some stuff in my basement that I need to move out\". Where do I go from here?\n\n​\n\nThanks!", "post_id": "bqnrq6", "comment_id": "eo6ho8w"}, {"question": "curses, yells, belittles, and name calls.\n\nall are emotional abuse and should never happen. go to counseling", "comment": "Trying to figure out if this is normal behavior. My first thought is no.  I'm going to keep this short.\n\nMarried for 4 years. \n\nI'm a guy and compared to women, I forget things or don't do things \"correctly\". I also don't have certain things at the top of my priority list as women do.  So, inevitably due to this husbands and wives get into arguments, and I understand arguments happen. I would like to know how a normal argument happens.\n\nIn my situation, my wife will get so irate she curses, yells, belittles, and name calls.\n\nI'm not a yeller, so most of the time I sit there and shut down because I'm pissed about the disrespect that is taking place.\n\nQuestion 1: (a)How often do you get into major(yelling/cursing/name calling) fights? (b) Do you both yell, or just one side?\n\nQuestion 2: When your wife gets upset over something, ei: not meeting her emotional needs or being on the same page, is it normal for her to berate you with names/cursing/yelling?\n\nQuestion 3: Has your wife ever hit you? or hit you with something?", "post_id": "6u5lip", "comment_id": "dlq8hpw"}, {"question": "talk to your doc about sildenafil", "comment": "So it's been a few weeks since my SO and I have had sex, and it hasn't been by choice, we both really want it, but I haven't been able to stay erect when we go to have sex. We usually fool around for a while before we get into it because foreplay is fun and important, and throughout that I'm erect, but as soon as I go to penetrate her my member retracts, and I'm soft again. \n\nThis has massively affected my confidence, and leaves me feeling really inadequate. It screws up our entire days together as I don't know how to react after, and advice about how should I go about dealing with this situation would be very much appreciated", "post_id": "6twxc4", "comment_id": "dlo53c9"}, {"question": "Being picky as far as relationships go all depends on how much time/energy you have and are willing to give to your relationships.  There's no right or wrong answer.  \n\n\nI don't think it's healthy or productive to complain about the lack of relationships but also be extremely picky or closed off to fostering new relationships.  \n\n\nHaving no friends vs having friends you feel uncomfortable with?  This is tricky.  I think it's important to differentiate between friends and friendly acquaintances.  Nobody generally starts out with a deep emotional connection and level of comfort with someone when they just start hanging out.  There is always going to be some level of discomfort when spending time with newer acquaintances.  If you shy away from many of these types of interactions due to not feeling comfortable, you're passing up the opportunity to have these relationships turn into comfortable friendships over time.  \n\n\nIf you're putting a wall up and waiting for people to come along who you will instantly feel completely comfortable with and feel the same type of bond you had with friends growing up or people you have known for a very long time, you'll be waiting by yourself forever.      ", "comment": "For a long time I have wished for more friends and be invited to events. But almost every time I actually get invited to something, I go, and I do not enjoy it very much. It is okay, but I start longing for time alone to spend with my hobbies. I find this strange, as I normally feel like friends is the one thing I miss in my life. I have considered that maybe I just have not clicked enough with anybody yet. Because I have a boyfriend, and I absolutely love spending time with him, even after a year together. I mean there must be a reason I love socializing with him but not other people. I guess it could be that with him, (and my family) I feel 100% relaxed and myself. Achieving that level of comfortableness with friends just seems difficult, maybe it is often required that you are childhood friends.\n\nThis also makes me realize the importance of actually making friends that are *good* for you. And to create relationships by being yourself. As a friendless person, I think it is easy to think that anyone will be good enough, if you just get one or a few friends, it would be amazing. But what if you do not feel you can be yourself around them? Then socializing will only drag you down mentally.\n\nSo basically I think that even if you have few friends, it is equally important for you to be picky as far as relationships goes. Do you agree? it is better to have no friends than friends with whom you do not feel comfortable?", "post_id": "9aza8r", "comment_id": "e4zo9f9"}, {"question": "MSW student in recovery, possibly will work in the addictions field.", "comment": "I myself am in recovery and work at a 90 day impatient treatment center for recovery from eating disorders.", "post_id": "mm0h7", "comment_id": "c325ljp"}, {"question": "sounds like ur a conscientious, healthy woman. and sounds like you look pretty much the same as before.  it's his problem that he's harping", "comment": "I want to start off by saying that I have been a consistently healthy weight my whole life. I am an athletic build and have a full time very active job, so my body is pretty built muscularly. My genes cause me to have a round face and carry any unwanted weight around my stomach/thighs. I have gained maybe 10 pounds in the 4 years that we have been together, most of which I chalk up to growing up. \nMy boyfriend, whom I have lived with for 4yrs, has made small comments here and there throughout our relationship about my appearance but I have chose to overlook them due to many of his other redeeming qualities. We have had a pretty regular sex life until the past three months or so, now the sex has stopped. He is an avid gym goer (6days/wk) and is constantly pressuring me to go. I do go once or twice a week, which is plenty given how much physical labor I do at work. He recently decided to inform me again that it is a regular part of most peoples lives to go to the gym everyday. He also said that I have changed a lot physically since we were first together.\nI think that his qualms are completely ridiculous and quite frankly he has pissed me off. I am writing to see if of you have had a similar problem of your SO pressuring you to lose weight/work out? How did you handle the situation? Any advice for what I should say to the bf?", "post_id": "5tjnp4", "comment_id": "ddn30g5"}, {"question": "Short answer, yes.\n\nLong answer: Being social looks different from person to person. I think you should be social, because human are social people and we need each other. But you don't need to be social in the same way that other people are social. Do what works for you.\n\nIf other people enjoy talking to random people, then that works for you. If you prefer to avoid social events and build relationships with penpals, then that works for you.\n\nI think you want to avoid retreating from social situations just because they're hard or scary. If you really do want new friends but making friends is hard, you should still try to make new friends.\n\nBut if like, you don't want to go to that bar, you don't need to go to that bar. You can figure out what being social looks like for you.\n\nI actually go into more detail on this in a recent blog post called [How To Be More Social](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/how-to-be-more-social). You should check it out, since I think it would answer a lot of your questions. Good luck!", "comment": "I don't have any shyness issue or problems talking with strangers.  I just actually love being alone, and after my break up with my ex girlfriend I was happily working from home every day and followed my daily routine of work, eat, gym, read/play video games, and sleep for a year.  I recently got promoted to a position where I am client facing and had to be very social.\n\nSo I spent the past few weekends going out to bars / libraries / coffee shops / meetups to meet and talk to random people to brush up my social skills.  I managed to strike up conversations with many people and got a few numbers, but at the end of the night I feel mentally exhausted(got a huge headache afterwards).  I felt like I have to lower my intelligence just to be able to keep conversations going with them.  I feel like I could've spent my weekend doing something more productive like reading a book, learning a new language or practice playing the piano.  This is when I started to think that I'm not normal.\n\ntldr: is it normal to dislike people and want to be alone all the time even though you're good at socializing?", "post_id": "12dur8", "comment_id": "c6uiuct"}, {"question": "Did they ask you for coffee?  Prolly want coffee. Drinks? Prolly drinks. Go to a show? Prolly want to hear some music.  All of them are probably interested in getting physically intimate with you. \n\nWhat do you want, beyond feeling safe?\n\nDo you like any of these guys enough to want to see if you could hit it off?", "comment": "So there are several guys that seem to be interested in me and they all asked me out. I don't know what to do, I always thought that I'm just an ugly shy girl that cant fit in anywhere and I am soo overwhehlmed by that situation, I'm starting to get really bad anxiety. I don't know what they want from and I don't want to be left heartbroken. Did that happen to anyone? I feel so scared its almost depressing", "post_id": "6butwe", "comment_id": "dhpqj83"}, {"question": "If it makes you feel any better, I work with people who have all kinds of mental illness diagnosis, and while personality disorders are overall difficult to treat, I always tell those with BPD that it is very treatable. DBT therapy, mindful CBT, process therapy, can all help.\n\n Naturally 40% (by some estimates) of people with BPD will not meet criteria after 10 years. That is without treatment. With treatment, those numbers get higher! Also, if you still diagnose, even with treatment, how you handle it will feel better. \n\n(I read a lot of research) They have shown that BPD has one of the lowest rates of inter rater reliability. That means different professionals will not all give the same diagnosis of BPD. \n\nI do not mean to say if anyone has it or not, but to highlight that the \"name\" of what your problem is does not need to be your focus. You can look at what symptoms trouble you and work on those issues. If naming it and being able to classify helps, run with it. If you feel like to stunts your ability to change, then focus on what you can do. \n\nOn a side note, just because I know boundaries are a big issue for  most people with BPD, you don't have to tell everyone. Tell those who you trust to use the information for your benefit. Find care providers that have experience with BPD and market as such. They are usually quite understanding and don't hold a judgmental stance\n\n\nI hope this helps! Good luck!", "comment": "The internet paints us as insane, clingy crazies that you need to avoid like the plague and that we're a lost cause. \n\nMost psychiatrist just treat us as difficult cases and seem to give the dx out to any young female. \n\nIt's something that I'm really struggling with and I avoid telling people that I am diagnosed with it. It just amplifies the fear of abandonment because I'm scared that they'll leave because of it. ", "post_id": "3ulr6y", "comment_id": "cxfz2cr"}, {"question": "Oh my god that sounds like something my SO would say about me. I don't have any advice, though. I'm really sorry you're going through this, it's an incredibly difficult thing to have to endure. I hope she figures something out. ", "comment": "I don't know how to fix this situation. I've never posted here but writing this out feels good. So here it goes\n\nI know my girlfriend is feeling lonely and depressed. But, whenever were together things feel great. She's energetic and funny and great to be around, although when we have to spend a significant amount of time apart she gets lonely and feels as though no one is interested in being her friend. She's a very social person and being alone for too long really gets her down. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things better for her. \n\nSometimes I feel like spending less time together could help her create other relationships outside of our own, but it's hard not to be together for extended periods of time on a consistent basis because we live together. I feel closer to her then any other friends and I know she feels than same. \n\nI guess i just want a way to help her make new friends. I know this isn't something I can really influence and she has to do it on her own, but it's hard to watch someone you care a lot about feel that way. Any advice would be much appreciated. ", "post_id": "41z673", "comment_id": "cz6c66t"}, {"question": "Hm.\nDo you know why you have suffered from blood clots before? Where have you had these clots? \n\nDo you have shortness of breath? If so, it might be an urgent matter.", "comment": "Age: 24\n\nSex: Female\n\nHeight: 5'4\n\nWeight: Average\n\nRace: White\n\nDuration of complaint: On & off the last week\n\nLocation (Geographic and on body): Chest, mostly on my last few ribs on both sides but often worse in the slightly to the right of the centre. \n\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): I have a history of blood clots (1) and consistent problems with my lungs. Recurrent chest infections, pleurisy. \n\nCurrent medications (if any): None\n\nI'm currently experiencing a weird feeling in my chest. I wouldn't really call it fullness or tightness although there is discomfort definitely and an occasional bit of pain, similar to period cramps in how they feel. It relieves the discomfort a bit if I wrap my arm across my chest and squeeze down. \n\nI've also been having small sharp pains in my fingertips randomly and my eyes have occasionally stopped focusing on whatever I'm looking at. ", "post_id": "5vcl8y", "comment_id": "de1i508"}, {"question": "Why are you with an arrogant person?", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and I found that he can be extremely arrogant. He's never wrong. He will twist things just so he doesn't have to admit that he is wrong. He'll tell me that certain things have nothing to do with me. He has some great qualities as well and I definitely love him but I'm struggling in dealing with the arrogance. Early on in the relationship I just ignored it but now it's getting to the point where I have to push back. Any advice on dealing with an arrogant guy? ", "post_id": "6ewzrk", "comment_id": "die1gz5"}, {"question": "Is there someone who can help you \"reality test\"? Someone you trust you could run your thoughts by to say \"hey not a big deal\" etc? If not my advice would be to think it through. Okay so what if what if you don't confess? What is the worst that could happen? Play it out (if that doesn't make you too anxious) and if you end up eating to someone's life being at stake etc. then confess by all means, but if it isn't truly huge in the grand scheme of things remember we all mess up and are imperfect and if we told someone EVERYTIME we'd never get anything else done. ", "comment": "So I have some pretty bad problems with moral scrupulosity, and I just started a new job. I'm still learning the ropes so a lot of rules are still unclear to me, which makes it hard for me to feel like I have a chance at avoiding a colossal screwup. I've confessed to something or other just about every day so far, and my supervisor has pretty much laughed it off every time. I thought of another possible infraction during work today and after some thought I've decided it most likely isn't something that needs to be confessed, but it's really hard not to confess, and it's also hard to have any confidence in my judgement that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.\n\nFor anyone else out there with similar problems, how do you decide when something actually needs to be confessed? I'm worried I'm driving my supervisor nuts, and I know I'm reinforcing the compulsion, but I'm also really worried I'm not going to mention something that should have been brought up and then have it become a big deal later and look like I was trying to hide something. ", "post_id": "72hvrq", "comment_id": "dninv7q"}, {"question": "Neither bupropion nor trazodone have strong associations with serotonin syndrome unlike many other medications (SSRIs, SNRIs, TCAs, others). The syndrome is idiosyncratic, but that is not a combination that looks immediately alarming.", "comment": "Hi! So like the post states, I have been prescribed Bupropion (150mg) twice a day for ADD. My doctor is currently waiting on my EKG results to see if I can continue to take Vyvanse. I\u2019m also prescribed to take Trazodone (100mg) at night because I have trouble sleeping thanks to my brain never shutting off. \n\nWhen I picked up both prescriptions at the pharmacy, they talked to me about Serotonin Syndrome, which worries me. Should I be taking both of these drugs?\n\nAge: 22\nSex: Female \nHeight: 5\u20191\nWeight: 105\nRace: Caucasian \n\n", "post_id": "b8dbct", "comment_id": "ejxa26r"}, {"question": "just go slow. think of topics ahead of time to talk about. practice makes perfect.", "comment": "So to make it brief, my ex and i split because she slowly started giving me less and less attention, she started to take an hour+ to respond to any messages and only responded with highly predictable messages (that were usually one to two words long). Then she started to avoid any get together's with my friends, that's what set me off actually. I had some plans with my grandpa that got canceled last minute because he had to do something for his business, so when i told my friend that i'd be able to come she sent me a message that said- \n\n\"As soon as i told -ex gf- that you'd be able to make it, she suddenly started to say that she didn't feel good and that she wouldn't be able to make it\"\n\nThis actually made me quite upset because i told her many times that i really wanted to be able to spend time with her, and each time she'd laugh and call me \"thirsty\". So then me and her got into a heated argument and i come to find out that she thought we had moved to fast (despite me telling her that she was the one setting the pace for our relationship because i didn't really care how fast we took it), which somehow made her lose interest in me? I told her i wasn't staying in a relationship in which i was the only one that cared about it and one thing led to another and we ended it. \n\nNow i don't know really what to do or how to go about talking to new people as me and her had met in drama (which has now thankfully ended due to the semester change) and had a few mutual friends who basically introduced us. I don't know how to go about finding new people to talk to, or how to even really start conversation.", "post_id": "5odnmw", "comment_id": "dciirlt"}, {"question": "are you seeing a therapist for these issues?", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5kmh54", "comment_id": "dbp03gk"}, {"question": "A mask is not a guarantee for safety, and they should  be reserved for more acute care. Rather, following local guidelines for whether to have face to face contact at all makes more sense.\n\nHowever, you can't force your mother to do or not do. Perhaps ask other family members to help you.", "comment": "My mom is a pediatric physical therapist. She does in-home visits for a number of clients. On top of that, she is over 60 years old and has a lung disease, for which she takes prednisone daily, compromising her immune system. I think she would die if she got corona and I've stressed my concerns multiple times. The first thing she said was she has had kids \"coughing and spitting\" on her for years and has never gotten the flu. When I continued to press, she told me she has no ability to stop working because of the bills. So, she is going to continue to work, and she is taking measures like constantly washing her hands, but I'm not sure that's enough, especially given her condition and the kinds of clients she works with that may have lower immune responses and are prone to coughing and even spitting. Can someone give me advice? She will wear a mask if there's a good reason to. Then, the question becomes should she wear an n95 repirator or a surgical mask? Thanks in advance.\n\nEdit: Don't know if it's relevant considering she doesn't have the virus herself, but because of her disease, she experiences light and short coughing intermittently thoughout every single day. ", "post_id": "fmijxj", "comment_id": "fl4lcqu"}, {"question": "This does not necessarily sound like kidney failure, but it is concerning for DKA (ketoacidosis). You should go to the hospital now rather than later.", "comment": "Okay so I am 24 years old and I have had type 1 diabetes since I was 17. A few years ago I was hospitalized for ketoacidosis and I\u2019m afraid I may be having similar symptoms as before. My back and stomach hurt constantly and I have random sharp pains in that area. I am always thirsty and pee constantly. I keep waking up every few hours if not EVERY hour to pee when I sleep. Now I am starting to stay nauseous though I haven\u2019t thrown up yet (sorry tmi.) I noticed s rash on my back where the pain is coming from though the rash is itchy it\u2019s not causing the pain. I feel super tired all of a sudden and I find it hard to breath some times though it\u2019s not super hard to breathe. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s my kidneys, my liver or just in my mind and these may all be coincidental. I\u2019ve had all these problems before but last time when I went into ketoacidosis it was in the middle of the night and hit me out of no where. Before when it happened I had a terrible night that night and was constantly throwing up and peeing and my back hurt so bad I was crying. That\u2019s why I\u2019m not sure if this is the same thing. I am going to the hospital later today anyway but I would like to know if any professionals on here think it\u2019s that serious or am I being paranoid? Thank you for your time!", "post_id": "f5pqqc", "comment_id": "fi0oy8i"}, {"question": "Ugh, this is why I fear for the overprescribing of stimulants in the US...", "comment": "I've taken 15-20mg of adderall a number of times before to help with studying and other school work.  A friend of mine gave me a 60 mg vyvanse, but I'm wondering if the jump of the dosage is too much and if there will be any negative side effects.  Do I have anything to worry about?  I am a 20 year old male, 6 feet 2 inches, 150 pounds.  Not on any medications. ", "post_id": "64r1zp", "comment_id": "dg4j19v"}, {"question": "Your fianc\u00e9 needs to quit amphetamines. \n\nYou need to stay away from him. He's dangerous. ", "comment": "i had a horrible fight with my fianc\u00e9 tonight.  He said that he had a mysterious phone call from someone who told him that I was trying to get him arrested!  He and his family hired an attorney even after i told him this was INSANE!!!!\n\nI told him i was coming home (i live in the house he owns)  he said that he was very scared of me.  It was insanity!  I said well someone is trying to break us up\u2026he said it was ME having someone call and do this \u2026 so he would leave me.\n\nAgain, insanity.  I was on a work trip at the time.  I drove home 3 hours to be with him. we went to dinner and he said just so you know\u2026my lawyer is going to have PIs and people listening on people\u2019s phones\u2026..look me in the eyes\u2026whoever did this will pay a very horrible price.\n\nI said OMG i had nothing to do with this.  then he said his father was the one who hired the lawyer and payed the retainer and he too wants answers\u2026.\n\nI said i drove 3 hours to prove to you that I am not behind this! it\u2019s one of your ex gfs or someone!  He said no\u2026 then he said that he was very excited to go on weekend trip (i bought for him) this weekend but no longer\u2026\n\ni swallowed that\u2026then when he got home he said you think you could afford this house (i actually could by myself)  i said and YOU can?  (he\u2019s nearly broke!) He said then LEAVE\n\nI said omg\u2026ok.  I ran to my car.  he looked me in the eye and said \u201cjust so you know\u2026you are leaving\u2026THIS IS WAR\u201d\n\nI left and he kept calling and saying i should apologize and he would take me back\u2026 Came home\u2026and i\u2019m thinking of leaving him forever in the mornng if i can get the gumption\u2026\n\nbut what do i do?  I love this man and he\u2019s treating WAR?  and saying that someone called him???  It\u2019s insanity  he called his LAWYER and told his family that he got this call?   I feel blackballed forever?? ", "post_id": "707dlz", "comment_id": "dn126x9"}, {"question": "you either trust him or you don't", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "76y9yp", "comment_id": "dohntfh"}, {"question": "Thinking of you! Good luck mate. ", "comment": "I've been sober for 8 days after being a black out drunk since I was a teenager. Multiple dui's, jobs, and failed relationships. I'm losing my current job because of it. The highest paying job I've ever had. Was on the brink of losing my fianc\u00e9 because of the drinking and lies. Believe me she's a good woman. This last bender really turned my world upside down. Realizing I had a problem with anxiety and depression I couldn't handle on my own was one of the hardest things. Finally asked for help but that's not going to save my job and I have to accept responsibility for my actions. Went to an AA meeting with my hands shaking and couldn't look anyone in the eye but I went. Now by the grace of God I have a job interview tomorrow morning. She helped me pick out an outfit. Reddit I've never written anywhere anything personal but here I am asking for all the help I can get I thought you all might understand.  \n\nEdit: With tears in my eyes I can't thank everyone enough for the kind words and support. I feel like I nailed the interview. What ever happens happens but it'll happen sober. God bless you all and thank you!!!", "post_id": "9l27x2", "comment_id": "e741bff"}, {"question": "sounds like a ton of baggage. beware.", "comment": "there\u00b4s this girl at work, i know her for about 2 months now, and we\u00b4ve been going out now, one drunken night the first time we met, we had sex, then the day after she already said \u00a8i love you\u00a8 i knew that at work, some playboy fucked her and she dumped him because she didn\u00b4t know that we was like that, but wait, there\u00b4s more, about her family, specially her dad, the history is fucked up, the guy raped her younger sister, whats concerning is that he still talks to her daddy like he\u00b4s his little girl, the guy is at prison now and she still sends him money, maybe that\u00b4s the gist of it, if you have any questions, let me know.\n", "post_id": "6idodn", "comment_id": "dj5e4ww"}, {"question": "Yeah I\u2019ve done it - did you have any specific questions? I did a full course last year with the written account.", "comment": "I'm in the early stages of CPT right now (session 3 about), and I was hoping that someone on here has been through the process or is also going through the process and would be down to talk about their experience with it. If so, let me know!\n\nUpdate: I did COT to treat my PTSD and found it extraordinarily helpful. If you want to know about my experience with it, feel free to pm me.", "post_id": "dixr74", "comment_id": "f3zrirt"}, {"question": "Sounds like it may have been a partial complex seizure", "comment": "Good morning, glad to discover this sub and thankful for those who contribute.\n\nM40, 6'2\", 210 lbs, currently on Keto, eating 2400 calories per day, clean food, lots of greens, no junk, drink lightly (red wine, straight whisky here and there etc...) Do HITT workouts three times per week. (Orange Theory Fitness.) Have good cardio, can run like the wind on a treadmill. Have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. Take 25mg methotrexate weekly and 25mg golimumab once per month. Do not smoke cigarettes or anything else. Drug free.\n\nI apologize in advance for the graphic details, I just want to make sure I include everything in case it might be important.\n\nThis morning, upon waking up (haven't had breakfast yet), I was being intimate with my wife and all was going great. I was very much into it and had to put on the brakes about 15 minutes in, to make it last longer if you know what I mean. Then as we continued, I felt my mind started to drift a bit, kind of like I was having trouble concentrating, and then I started to go soft. (This is probably the second time that happens to me in my life.) I just felt like it was taking too much effort and I was becoming physically tired (my abs were burning). After a short break, my wife got on top and started to ride me. Then I started to feel my legs going numb, and then my left arm started to tingle, and I became light headed. She got off me and I just lay on my back. After a few minutes I felt better, so I took care of my wife orally.\n\nThen I was laying on my back again, and I could feel my abs contracting, not in spasms, but just solidly locked on, it felt very strange. Then left arm started to tingle more and finally both arms. I started to get really worried, so I got up from bed and my entire body started to lock up.\n\n​\n\n* Light headed, with fading vision.\n* All my muscles were permanently contracted, my entire body was stiff.\n* I could not open/close my hands, could not dress myself, I could barely speak. My mouth and tongue wouldn't move.\n* I started to panic at this point. My wife helped me put on some sweat pants, and we were about to call an ambulance.\n\nThen as I walked around I could feel a warmth coming back to my arms and slowly everything went back to normal. I was a bit sore afterwards, but I was back to normal.\n\nSo from the moment I felt the arm tingles to the time I felt everything come back, was about 20 minutes. Needless to say, this scared the living crap out of me and my wife. But she stayed calm and was acting like it was no big deal. She thought I was having a panic attack. She told me later that she was scared to death, despite her cool demeanour.\n\nI tried searching the internet for possible symptoms, but I have found nothing. It's kind of difficult to search for this also. I did see that early symptoms of MS are similar, but I know better than to get ahead of myself with Googled medical diagnosis.\n\nSo does anyone have an idea of what this was? Should I be worried?\n\nThank you for reading, and apologies for the long post.", "post_id": "eqzniu", "comment_id": "fezwfdh"}, {"question": "Very very difficult but not impossible. Ask your providers what they think because they have to provide supporting documentation anyway so if they\u2019re not willing to do that then your odds are extra not good. But it has been done before. ", "comment": "I know it depends on a bunch of different factors. I was curious if anyone here have/had successfully received disability for a mental health issue. I'm currently suffering from PTSD, MDD, GAD, as well as various phobias, panic disorder, and frequent emotional breakdowns. I have no health insurance as of a week ago. My mom lost her job which was the only reason I had any. I also suffer from PCOS and asthma. I believe my PCOS could be making my issues worse as well because I need to be on hormone medication and back on my antidepressant and anxiety meds. \n\nSorry for the rant. If you have successfully (or) unsuccessfully done this in the past I'd really appreciate any input. I am at a loss and have no idea where to even start. Or if it would even be worth trying. ", "post_id": "7dapf4", "comment_id": "dpweqo5"}, {"question": "This can be \"delayed sleep phase syndrome,\" where your natural sleep cycle is just shifted later than the rest of the world. If you can keep your natural schedule, it's healthy, but there are often a lot of practical barriers to doing so like school and work that expect you to be up in the morning.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "g79az7", "comment_id": "fog8g8u"}, {"question": "Yes. It's called negative rumination. It's characterized by obsessive intrusive thoughts that often times people feel powerless to control. They can be both real and imagined.\n\nNegative rumination over a long period of time can prove hurtful to mental health because of things like lack of sleep, lost motivation, feelings of sadness and anxiety, etc. Tends to start due to anxiety and can evolve into other things if not managed. \n\nIf it gets to be too overwhelming, I'd suggest starting a conversation with your family doctor to explore some options on addressing it.", "comment": "I get these moments where I either can't stop remembering a traumatic experience or I imagine a whole new traumatic experience that hasn't happened. \n\nI lay awake and can't help but imagining the worst things. Fights with my family, my family yelling at me, etc. All very realistic but it hasn't happened. \n\nIt's all very upsetting but I can't turn it off. My mind just keeps making these sorts bad day dreams, waking nightmares. Even if I stop myself it just resumes, and I can only distract myself for so long. \n\nIt's like the events of my past aren't good enough trauma that my brain needs to make up new situations that are unlikely to happen. I hope its unlikely anyways. \n\nThe closest description I have is intrusive thoughts, but worse, because they're vividly detailed and play out almost in real time in my head. \n\nIs there a term for what this is?", "post_id": "d44eaf", "comment_id": "f07ssf2"}, {"question": "I understand exactly how you feel.  I\u2019m stuck in the same place.  I feel like I\u2019m a bad person for it. ", "comment": "I just don\u2019t know I have friends and family who love and care about me, I\u2019m not doing terrible in life, I\u2019m a college student and while my grades aren\u2019t perfect I am passing, and yet ever sense middle school I\u2019ve had this sadness that just won\u2019t go away my family doesn\u2019t know about it and my friends don\u2019t seem to get my jokes trying to hint at it. I just feel like I shouldn\u2019t feel sad but I am and that makes it worse.", "post_id": "9zha4l", "comment_id": "ea94oof"}, {"question": "As far as the increased risk of suicide when starting anti-depressants- it may have something to do with a similar phenomena- the fact that the majority of suicides occur in Spring. \n\nWhile depressive episodes are more likely to occur in Winter, suicide attempts are more likely to occur in Spring. This is because when one is depressed, they often have no motivation, energy, etc. When spring comes around, depression may often lift. When it starts to lift, that motivation may be the first thing to come back. So they attempt suicide, once they finally have the energy to do so.\n\nEssentially- people tend to commit suicide more often when the depression is lifting, because they finally have the energy/motivation to do so. Also- their mood tends to be more labile.\n\nThis may be the same with anti-depressants. The first few days when the depression is lifting may temporarily increase suicide risk.", "comment": "I've been very emotional the last few days which I think might correspond to going up on my dose of Topamax (25 to 50mg). Part of me thinks that it's because I am no longer returning to my old coping mechanisms: drinking and eating. Topa simply eliminates my desire to drink or binge eat, and now I have to actually face a set of particularly painful emotions. \n\nThoughts on this? \n\nedit: I know Topa is not an anti-depressant, I really meant \"psych med\" in general. ", "post_id": "uakr0", "comment_id": "c4utugb"}, {"question": "you either trust her or you don't.", "comment": "This is bugging the shit out of me. Not to long ago my girlfriend was texting her ex boyfriend. She wanted to know if her mail came to his place since she moved around a lot and her package didn't come. That turns into a conversation about their dating life (as she tells me) and me and her are just lying in the bed. I got to adjust my head on my pillow and she SNAPS her phone the other direction. \n\nWow I was just adjusting my head\n\"I know you read fast\"\nWhat the fuck?\n\"I couldn't see your face and the light was bright sorry I didn't want to blind you\"\n\nThis turns into a huge argument but she refuses to show me what would of made you so upset. I don't know the password to her phone so I can't go snooping and if I bring it up it turns into. \"You need to learn how to trust me argument\" \n\nWhat do I do? Because this is making me overthink and drill a hole in my own head.\n\nTL;DR girlfriend has some sketchy phone habits whenever she texts her ex boyfriend. Doesn't want me to see something. ", "post_id": "5tztrs", "comment_id": "ddqaere"}, {"question": "only if you're mother teresa. you're entitled to be a total altruist if you choose. but most are not self sacrificing.", "comment": "I am a male (23) and I recently broke up with my girlfriend (23) of just over 3 years because I began to realize that at my age, my focus is just elsewhere - that being my work. She is an amazing girl and I truly love her to death but I just felt I was being unfair to her by staying with her even though my mind is constantly elsewhere. I knew that if we broke up it would kill her so I never pulled the trigger until the other day. I honestly feel liberated but it hurts me knowing the pain I am causing her - so much so that I question if this was the right choice. She is the perfect girl for me in many ways but I can't be the boyfriend she deserves at this time in my life. I know that I can love her again once my life is in order but I didn't want to deprive myself of certain life experiences by maintaining a relationship essentially \"on hold\" and I didn't want to deprive her of a fulfilling relationship she deserves. \n\nI hope one day down the line we can work things out again but I'm worried the pain I am causing her might be too much.\n\nSo I ask, is it ever the right choice to stay with someone for the sake of not hurting them?\n\nIn my case so that we can have a future together, even if in present time and foreseeable our relationship is not exactly healthy.", "post_id": "6koujm", "comment_id": "djns9vs"}, {"question": "> To be honest, I think good writing or should I say great writing and alcoholism go hand in hand.\n\nI know you don't want to start a debate so I won't go into detail, but I do love [Stephen King's take on this](http://bookstove.com/non-fiction/stephen-king-on-writing-a-memoir-of-the-craft/).", "comment": "I am currently reading The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler (simply fantastic reading, highly recommended) in which there are constant references to alcohol and the implication that Marlowe is surrounded by alcoholics.\n\nTo be honest, I think good writing or should I say great writing and alcoholism go hand in hand.  (Lets not get into the 'alcohol makes great writers' debate, great writers just seem to often be alcoholics).\n\nI wondered what novels people here have read where the main content may be about alcoholism.", "post_id": "wi0jb", "comment_id": "c5dmhf4"}, {"question": "Just mention it to the doc. I'd be surprised if you were even exposed to the virus, and id be surprised if it changes the care your family need. But hopefully you'll all be reassured.", "comment": "I went with my dad to Jamaica at the beginning of April before I had heard of any confirmed cases of Zika there. Now there have been several confirmed cases there. I again didn't hear about this until I did some research after I got my wife pregnant in July. I do not want to cause her to panic if there is no need. We are going to the OB/GYN next week. What advice would you give for this situation?", "post_id": "4xfpj8", "comment_id": "d6f3ne1"}, {"question": "She sounds like a stalker.  It's highly likely she's got some other stuff going on, too.  Is it dementia?  Ummm, I don't know, but 56 is a little young.  It could be early onset, but from what you described about her behavior/presentation, it doesn't quite fit for me.  I could be wrong.  \n\nIt sounds like she could be psychotic.  Can you tell if she has been drinking or using drugs?  Substances could be contributing to her psychosis or exacerbating previously existing pathology.  \n\nThis woman needs to be hospitalized and actually stabilized on meds before she's released.  She's likely going to end up getting herself into legal trouble, and hurting herself or someone else.  \n\nIt's easy to see why your boss (and other people) may be hesitant to initiate a stay-away/protection/restraining order.  People feel bad, she's sick and she needs help.  I don't think many people consider that the best interests of the person in need may involve doing something that feels unpleasant.  At the end of the day, your boss needs to weigh the pros and cons.  If this woman is truly as sick as she sounds, there are no conversational techniques that will work.  \n\nI can find literature about stalking, but I'm not sure how much it will help.  Let me know.  ", "comment": "Good evening, Reddit!  Casual lurker coming out of the shadows for this one.\n\nI recently started to manage a venue that has a ready-made community, and my boss is someone well-known within the community, as is the person who is fixated on her.\n\nThis person is known for being unpredictable.  Clearly she is not well.  She is not only grieving  a major loss, but seems to be experiencing many symptoms of dementia.  She does not know my boss personally, but has barraged her with messages on Facebook, emails, and, now that she has found the phone number, phone calls.\n\nShe attempted to enter a sold-out event without a ticket, thinking she had purchased one (though she had not), and became so frustrated, she assaulted our security guards.  We ultimately called the police, who took her to the hospital.\n\nThe following week, she did purchase a ticket, and returned, and I informed her she was no longer welcome after the previous week's events.  She was more docile, apologetic, not in touch with reality and clearly set on the outcome that she get to talk to my boss. I listened to her empathetically for 30 minutes (our plan had been to call the police if she returned, but I made the call that this would not be necessary that night), accepted her apology, but stood firm: she could not come in and that was not going to change.\n\nShe has continued to harass my employer digitally.  These are clearly the warning signs of a \"fixated person\" and I get the feeling we're not giving her enough credit for the damage she could do: to herself, to my employer, to our guests and to our business. My boss is hesitant to start the process for filing a restraining order, and I can't stand outside with her, blocking the door, whenever she makes an appearance. \n\nI am unsure what the next steps we should take to resolve this problem.  Is it possible to mitigate what I think is a very real threat, here, using some ninja conversational techniques and boundary-setting rather than calling the authorities? Can anyone refer me to some good literature on addressing this sort of thing?\n\nLove,\n\nB", "post_id": "ado5e8", "comment_id": "edj2iyw"}, {"question": "I went ahead and purchased it!\n\nAs a therapist and someone who suffers from social anxiety, I can't wait to read it and then recommend it to my clients!", "comment": "Hi I\u2019m Tobias.\n\nI originally posted this in the r/socialanxiety but thought it might benefit some people here also.\n\nFirstly, I never in a million years pictured I\u2019d be here sharing a book I wrote about how I overcame social anxiety because I never thought I\u2019d ever get over it myself.\n\nI was professionally diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, generalised anxiety disorder and depression. For years I was on strong antidepressants (250 mg Zoloft) and during the worst of it, medical disability benefits due to my fear of job interviews. I won\u2019t go any more into my story here (you can read about it in the book)\n\nI believed I had a genetic fault in my brain and I was \u201cborn awkward.\u201d I had totally given up on myself and resigned to my fate things would always be like that for me. I didn\u2019t win the genetic lottery, better luck next lifetime.\n\nThrough a lot of effort on his part, I met a man who managed to convince me I could overcome social anxiety because he did it himself. I got the most help on my journey from people who had been through social anxiety themselves. Now I\u2019m paying it forward by sharing what worked for me.\n\nIt\u2019s not easy and there\u2019s no magic pill, but it is possible. I am living proof of that.\n\nThis book is not something I threw together last weekend. It has taken me almost a year to write and it contains a lifetime of pain and lessons. I have truly put my heart and soul into this book.\n\nIf you\u2019re interested, you can download the kindle version for free on Amazon for the next 2 days.\n\nUSA - https://www.amazon.com/How-Overcame-Social-Anxiety-Self-Esteem-ebook/dp/B01EXTED56?ie=UTF8&qid=&ref_=tmm_kin_swatch_0&sr=\n\nUK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01EXTED56\n\nCanada - https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01EXTED56\n\nAustralia - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01EXTED56\n\n(Other countries please search for the book and it should be free.)\n\nThis book is for you if you believe you were \u201cborn with social anxiety\u201d or you\u2019re \u201cbeyond help\u201d and there\u2019s nothing you can do to change this condition.\n\nIt\u2019s for you if you always feel nervous and uncomfortable around people and you can\u2019t seem to figure out why that\u2019s happening to you or how to stop it.\n\nIt\u2019s for you if everyone has always told you you\u2019re worthless and inferior and now you believe that about yourself.\n\nIt\u2019s for you if you always doubt yourself, call yourself hurtful names and constantly beat yourself up about being socially awkward or having social anxiety.\n\nAll these things I was going through.\n\nFeel free to ask me anything related to the book, my experiences with social anxiety or anything else really.\n\nI really hope my book helps you. I\u2019m contactable and I will reply to everyone who reaches out to me.", "post_id": "4m0y0b", "comment_id": "d3s22jy"}, {"question": "help him find a doctor/therapist", "comment": "Hello, my boyfriend & I have been together for 9 months. We both have had heavy life changing events happen to us - equally. However, I am a major extrovert and he is a major introvert. We both have said hurtful things to each other. What bothers me is that he thinks I am \"worse\" because I am extroverted. I do not think that is the case. To me, assertiveness and loudness (volume) do not mean I am always angry. I believe that it is all the intention behind what you say that matters. \n\nAnyways, the issue is now, my boyfriend is super depressed. He claims it has to do with how extroverted I am. Little by little, I have been finding out that he spirals into these depressive episodes. I am not judging in this post because frankly I get way too hyper sometimes. We all have our thang right?\n\nSo, my need for relationship advice is - what the hell do I do? I am not the depressive type. I do not understand it within my DNA. Do I let him play video games, be non-social, smoke cigs, and drink whiskey like he apparently does every depressive cycle? Do I simply just back off...because I feel like I should this time. Thanks to those who offer advice! xo ", "post_id": "5vmxtx", "comment_id": "de3crzj"}, {"question": ">Is this something that is frequently recommended or done?\n\nA lot of it depends on the circumstances and the framework of the therapist; however, YES. This is frequently recommended and done.", "comment": "My partner's therapist told her to ask me to come to one of my sessions to talk to my therapist about my mental illness. My SO said any time I talk about my bipolar disorder I shut down and so she wanted to speak to my therapist to \"unpack it\" or some shit. My own opinions aside, this sounds like a therapist shouldn't be giving that advice at all. Is this something that is frequently recommended or done?", "post_id": "e6szsl", "comment_id": "f9vbs4h"}, {"question": "29 here.   It is relatively uncommon to be diagnosed after childhood.  Keyword: relatively. It happens all the time, just not nearly as often as for elementary age kids.\n\nEDIT:  for me diagnosis was more than worth it. Knowing for sure is better.  ", "comment": "After reading and soaking up as much information as I can around here (which is great, I love the sense of community) I'd love to see at what age most people got diagnosed. I know majority of diagnoses are in early childhood, but what percentage of us were diagnosed later in life, if there are any?\n\nFor the second part of my question, is it more or less common for diagnoses to be given to adults? (20+) I do know you can, but at that point in life, is it still worth being diagnosed?\n\nThanks in advance. :-)", "post_id": "1dj3an", "comment_id": "c9qth3c"}, {"question": "Everyone has strong and weak sides. Are you convinced that someone with narcissistic traits is per definition not a good match for you?\n\nMy advice is to look at each potential partner as a whole, and not just as a narcissist or not-narcissist, and to look at your past partners in the same way.", "comment": "Hi, I\u2019m a 20F and I\u2019ve fallen for two guys that are (what I think are) narcissists in a the span of a few months. One was more covert and the most recent was more overt. My mom is also a narcissist. (Many people around me who know my mom agree that she is a narcissist). I feel like an idiot since I keep falling for this type of person. How do I catch the warning signs of narcissism early? I just started seeing a therapist so I do feel like some of this will work itself out in time. I\u2019m just curious if anyone knows why this happens.", "post_id": "ejz1wb", "comment_id": "fd3l4zb"}, {"question": "well you've hit upon a major challenge in all relationships. the  hows, whens, whys and art of compromise. i always advise people to be generous. if both people strive to be generous, these differences get easier to resolve.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5ptz9e", "comment_id": "dctuomn"}, {"question": "It sometimes happens that a person marries an alcoholic so that they have someone who is dependent and who they can control. and when that person gets sober they begin asserting themselves. It\u2019s as if their partner suddenly changed personalities. There needs be be a reacquainting because the difference between sober self and drinking self is profound.", "comment": "But shit am I struggling today. \n\nThis is surreal. I\u2019m in a daze. I have no real friends here, they were all the husbands of couple friends. \n\nThere was no cheating. No abuse. On either side. \n\nShe said she hasn\u2019t been happy for a year or more...\n\nI\u2019m fucking lost right now. \n\nEdit: we met at a neutral place and had a talk. This is happening...I\u2019ve busied myself and visited my grandmother and doing some work from home. Tomorrow will be day 299. Thanks for all the kind words everyone. ", "post_id": "8qczf8", "comment_id": "e0ivtcw"}, {"question": "That whole story is really really good", "comment": "Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today.\nWhen I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.\nNothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.\nUntil I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.  \n\nReprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 417, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc", "post_id": "8zr6ep", "comment_id": "e2l0no2"}, {"question": "always be direct about feelings. tell him what you feel; ask what he feels; go from there", "comment": "So I (19f) have been seeing or dating this guy (23m) for about 2 months now, I know age isn't a problem since our mutual friend set us up. He and I have gotten serious moving to the next step and a month and half later I ask what we are and he said he's been through some tough stuff and that he hasn't thought about it that much.which he has including surgery and so I respect that. But is he just pushing off telling me how he really feels and not wanting to actually make this a relationship? I just don't wanna be made a fool out of myself for liking this guy so much", "post_id": "5vp2zd", "comment_id": "de3tskq"}, {"question": "Ulcers are a relatively common co-morbidity with bulimia. If the doctor didn't do any investigative work/imaging, then they won't have a full understanding of the extent of damage she has done through her purging. You are right in the fact that both problems feed into each other: the binge-purge cycle exacerbates the stomach ulcer, which then continues to hurt and potentially cause further vomiting and stomach issues. \n\nThere are some pretty specific physical tells for bulimia:\n\n1. Thinner, brittle hair that may/may not grow back properly.\n2. Jaundiced, flat skin with little to no color. Also does not bounce back properly when manipulated (also a sign of dehydration, which is common with bulimia).\n3. Teeth are yellowed, easily pained, might have more cavities, and general decay from the vomiting and stomach acid.\n4. Vocal chords may/may not be affected depending on the severity and extent of the vomiting. Voice may be more hoarse or hurt to talk.\n5. Nails (both finger and toe nails) are thinner, grow back slowly, and may have a slight discoloration.\n6. If there's weight loss associated with significant bulimia, she may have lost the ability to ovulate/have menstrual cycles.\n7. Again, if there's weight loss, skin may be easily bruised, bones are more likely to fracture, and overall skeletal structure declines.\n\nOne of the biggest protective factors for helping someone with bulimia is to get medical professionals involved. Even with social services intervening, you will want a doctor monitoring her condition. Bulimia is one of the most common killers for teenagers of that age, and it's because many either do not seek out medical attention or seek it out when it is too late. There may not be a specific test that will show bulimia, but most doctors can put two-and-two together.\n\nApproaching the conversation can be difficult, but it is absolutely necessary if you want to help her. Coming from a place of support and concern is going to get you the furthest. Not judging her or berating her in any way for her purging and asking to understand more and offer encouragement to work with you to seek out help will be best. As /u/Liviabirch said, most times the underlying issue is not about the purging itself, but about difficulties with control, changing environments, social expectations, and possibly trauma. \n\nWhile waiting to engage in services, do some information gathering. How often is she purging? How long does she spend purging? Does she use anything to help her purge? What kinds of meals is she eating before purging? Does she do any other type of caloric restriction? (like not eating whole meals or excessively exercising). Getting that information lined up to let her providers know will be a good first step and will help them a lot.\n\nGood luck!", "comment": "I am fostering a very sweet 17 year old girl who is a friend of the family.  I just found out that there was suspicion of her being bulimic 5 years ago.  No one did anything about it(got her help).  The last few years, she has had a lot of stomach pain, and throwing up.  After a lot of coaxing, her mother finally took her to the doctor this past January.  They assumed it was an ulcer, and gave her antacids.(which she never took, the bottle is still full, because her mother never made her take them.) But, they never told the doctor about the bulimia, which is probably the cause of the ulcer.  She has had no tests absolutely confirming it's an ulcer.\n\nSo, what the problem is, is that we don't know if the vomiting is her making herself vomit, or the ulcer making her sick.  Is there a way we can tell? A way a doctor can tell?   I can address the ulcer with proper medical treatment, but if she's making it worse by making herself throw up, that's another issue.  Social services is supposed to get her started with counseling, but it's taking forever.  Everyone is afraid to confront her about it, because they think it will humiliate her and make things worse.\n\nIf this is more of a medical question, I can post this elsewhere.  Thanks everyone!", "post_id": "d0wirc", "comment_id": "ezfx5lb"}, {"question": "I'm feeling really nervous so I'm hoping that by typing it out here it'll help get my thoughts in order. I've been using my planner/journal a lot too but I could use some advice, if yall have any.\n\nI've been looking at a school counseling career for a while now. The problem is, in my state I'm required to have a few years of teaching experience. I think teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world, and I want to be involved in the education field, but I just finished my first year of teaching and... I dunno. I think I could handle a few more years but it's stressful as hell. And yes, I know it gets better after the first year is over but I'm still kind of dreading it. But at the same time I know I could do it if I set my mind to it.\n\nRecently though I've gotten some advice from my admins. They pointed out that if I wanted to go into counseling, I could get my LPC and go into mental health counseling instead, or use that degree to go into some other field like career counseling, academic advising, etc. And here's the kicker: *They even offered a job as an assistant here at the school* that I could work at while I go to grad school. It would be a busy job, but still WAY less stress than teaching. Downside is, I wouldn't be getting that teaching experience so the school counseling route would be closed to me.\n\nI had been planning on leaving to find a teaching job at a public school for my school counseling degree. But if I take that assistant job, I could stay at my current school. I really like that idea, because everyone here has been so supportive and kind to me, and that's something that just isnt guaranteed elsewhere, you know? It's like a family here.\n\nPlus, the more I research school counseling as a career, the less optimistic I feel about job prospects and what I'll actually be doing day-to-day. It's more about testing and paperwork these days, rather than actually talking to kids. becoming an LPC has more flexibility, it's really just a question of finding a position that suits me. There's still a possibility of being involved with education. However, salary and benefits tends to be better if I go the teaching>school counselor route, assuming I can find a job.\n\n...So I think I might end up changing my plans two days before I \"leave\". That's assuming my admins' job offer still stands. Or I could stick with my original plan. I'm also still waiting on a call back for a teaching job, so that makes things more complicated.\n", "comment": "How are things going for you?\n\nDo you need some advice to help you get out of a rut?\n\nOr are you cruising along and have some tips to share?\n", "post_id": "6i3040", "comment_id": "dj940ic"}, {"question": "talk about your expectations of what sex should be; if you can't get on the same page, you're not compatible", "comment": "My girlfriend of 5 years and I are having a fight right now, and I need help. \n\nAbout 6 times now within the past couple months, we've gotten frisky at my apartment. It gets about as far as a handjob before she randomly calls it quits and decides she wants to go home instead. \n\nI tried talking to her about it, I've tried telling her how uncomfortable it makes me, and we've had these talks repeatedly. \n\nJust today, she did it again and we started fighting. I was only disappointed at first and told her she could go home if she wanted, but then she got pissed at me for not being perfectly happy about the situation? She then went on to blame me for the entire thing, saying that I shouldn't have engaged in the foreplay with her then. \n\nWhat should I do? I'm frustrated at being blueballed repeatedly, annoyed at being blamed for it, and admittedly a bit pissed that she ignores every talk we have discussing this problem. Do I have any options here?", "post_id": "5v3re3", "comment_id": "ddz4d4v"}, {"question": "You may have some ptsd-like reaction to crossing boundaries with people? I fear being or acting out in front of someone I'm not as comfortable with. Or like, will be careful not to cross boundaries because I so easily can", "comment": "I can easily comfort an upset partner. I can hug them hold their hand and tell them that things are going to be ok. But I find that I can't comfort people I have normal friendships with yet it seems normal people are able to do that. I feel icky if I as so much put my hand on their back. It sucks because I really want to learn how to comfort people but it just makes me feel sick. Is it do with the lack of empathy thing?", "post_id": "c88l56", "comment_id": "esl39vd"}, {"question": "You're freaking me out because I could have written this entire post (except the person getting upset with me for not going to the doctor is my boyfriend). Yeah, that's how I feel to a tee. I figure everything links back to my anxiety and I'll just be using up the doctor's time and my money to find nothing helpful, then I'll feel stupid.", "comment": "My anxiety tends to center around my stomach. I have emetephobia in addition to a general anxiety disorder, so it's not unusual for me to have nausea or weird stomach cramps that are just anxiety.\n\nHowever, I've been INSANELY bloated for six months now, having a lot of pain in my lower stomach (nothing stabbing or throbbing, just achy pain, kinda similar to period cramps or how you'd feel after an intense ab workout), and am more nauseous/quick to heartburn than usual.\n\nThere are some other symptoms as well, and I finally made a doctor's appointment, but it just got me wondering... I've been avoiding this for six months because, well, it's probably just my anxiety, right? \n\nMy fiance ended up getting mad and made me make an appointment because he'd rather me be safe than sorry. And I agree with him. \n\nI was just wondering if anyone else experiences this? \n\nI know avoiding doctors because of anxiety is common, but I'm not scared of the doctor. I just don't want to waste anyone's time and tend to assume all of my symptoms can be tied back to my anxiety. \n\nAnyone else?\n\n**TL;DR - I don't avoid doctors due to fear of the doctor or office, I avoid them because I tend to assume everything wrong with me is due to anxiety. Anyone else do this?**", "post_id": "hl8jje", "comment_id": "fwyv4nz"}, {"question": "/r/psychotherapy's list of users willing to be interviewed: https://www.reddit.com/r/psychotherapy/wiki/faq", "comment": "Hello all,\n\n​\n\nI am a Counseling Master's Student looking to do a short interview for a Homework assignment.  The interview will consist of generic questions regarding name, title, work setting/population clients. If anyone is interested please DM me. Thank you for your time and patience.\n\n​\n\nbest,", "post_id": "hhqcn9", "comment_id": "fwbuzit"}, {"question": "The first question I have is just one of sorting out historical imaging. MS, or at least the common relapsing-remitting form of MS, classically occurs with lesions that appear and disappear (along with attacks that resolve). Migraines usually don't have any specific MRI findings, although there are some exceptions.\n\nIs all the imaging available to the same doctor? Changes over time or lack thereof are very helpful for neurologists to clarify the picture.", "comment": "Age: 25\n\nSex: Female\n\nHeight: 5\u20198\n\nWeight: 140 \n\nRace: Caucasian / Eastern European\n\nDuration of Complaint: 8/9 years \n\nLocation: Currently in the southeast US, but have lived in all parts of US over past four years.\n\nLocation of complaint: Muscles (back of calves is the absolute worst), Eyes, Neurological, Legs, hands, hair falling out,severe fatigue, severe tremor\n\nExisting medical issues: Rheumatoid Arthritis, Pernicious Anemia, Epilepsy, Lupus, Sj\u00f6grens, PTSD, MDD\n   \u2014--Past Medical Problems: Acute liver failure, Hepatitis C, Meningitis, Sepsis (2), Endocarditis, Hyperthyroidism \n\nCurrent Medications: Celebrex, Keppra, Gabapentin, Seroquel, Prozac, Klonopin, Flexeril,  valacyclovir, \n\n\nOkay so I have not yet seen my rheumy, but blood work confirmed the Lupus and RA. I have been diagnosed with MS but then another MRI showed no lesions so they said that was not it.  Another MRI showed lesions, but the doctor said they were from migraines (which I only get one every two years or so) and I\u2019m not sure how she could tell the difference. \nAnyway, I think the RA and Lupus don\u2019t cover all of my symptoms. I have a severe, permanent tremor in my hands. I have blurry vision, no night vision, faded vision, and eye pain in one eye - the same eye and have had this since I was 16 and it\u2019s gotten worse. No eye doctor seems to know what\u2019s going on. \nI have a horrible heat intolerance but also a horrible cold intolerance, although heat makes me flare up so much worse. \nMost days I cannot get out of bed. The days I can, I can hardly stand or walk and must use assistance. The back of my calves give me the absolute worst pain out of anywhere on my body. To the point I start hitting them with heavy objects because that feels better than the actual pain. It\u2019s a tight pain and no matter how much I massage it or sit in hot water they never get better. \nI\u2019m just not convinced it\u2019s just RA and Lupus. \n\nCan you have MS with no lesions? can lesions come and go? Is there really a way to tell what lesions are from? (Like from a migraine or MS?)\nMS and all of these autoimmune disorders are in both sides of my family as far back as you can go. \nI\u2019m only 25, I shouldn\u2019t feel like this or hurt like this. The Neurological effects are horrible and embarrassing. \nI\u2019ve been trying for so long for a doctor to take me seriously. This one reluctantly do extra bloodwork and was surprised when the RA factor and everything was positive. \nMy muscles seem to be atrophying. I can\u2019t wear bras or bathing suits because of the pressure the put on my neck and/or shoulders. \n\nI really don\u2019t know what to do anymore. This is no life for anyone, especially a 25 year old. I\u2019m in so much pain I think about just ending it all. \n\nCan a doctor answer my questions or give me advice? Because I\u2019m just at a loss here.", "post_id": "cmh22l", "comment_id": "ew2adz6"}, {"question": "The bottom line is you can't only he can. Keep suggesting recovery, do not enable, and tell him you care. He needs to decide enough is enough. The consequences will come, believe me. On that day do not enable him, let them come to him and let him have to find his way out. On that day suggest rehab. Otherwise he will more than likely not listen.\n\nYour intentions are noble. He is not ready yet. Just keep encouraging him.", "comment": "My brother has a severe drug problem. He did 6 months of rehab a couple years ago, but went because he thought he had to, not because he himself wanted to.\n\nWithin a couple months of getting out, he was using again, and it just got worse and worse. He didn't have an exit plan, and just went back to his old drug friends, obviously a recipe for disaster. I can't give too many details because anyone who knows us that reads it will know exactly who I am.. Basically my parents have disowned him, and I lived in a different province.. As did our other siblings., he had no support even if he did want it.\n\nI live near by now, and even though I know he's still using, and he's a pathological liar, so I don't believe a word he says (every time I see him, it's a new story, and he reveals more drug info.. Originally it was just that he was smoking pot again, but he has recently told me he is back on opiates.. I know if I had another convo, I'd hear about more drugs)..\n\nOn New Year's Eve, he stayed with us, because he said he'd use if he didn't. We ended up in another conversation about his use and all his issues, and by the end of the convo, he brought up rehab, and I suggested that it might be a good idea for him to go back, because he'd be away from all the people that tempt him use. He agreed and said he'd sleep on it.  The next day, got all the typical excuses.. Need to take care of bills and debts first.\n\nSo.. To those of you who are in recovery..  How do I get him past this? He doesn't have a job.. And no prospects, so he won't be making money to pay off the debts he's referring to.. And our family isn't well off that we can cover them for him. So what can I do to convince him that he needs to get help now (which was his idea originally) instead of worrying about debts, which he can't pay because he's not working.\n\nAny help is appreciated, I just want my brother to get help, so he can return to normal life with my family.", "post_id": "2rexlx", "comment_id": "cnfvtrr"}, {"question": "That's one way to frame it.  There is another way to frame it and its your choice to decide which perspective will serve you better.  In today's paper it was reported that researchers have found a group of 11 genes that predict risk of alcoholism.  Apparently its now proven that there is a inherited component for alcoholism.  Instead of saying you are a failure you can say that you've been dealt a bad hand and now its time to play that hand as best you can.  Getting medical help for a medical condition makes sense.  You could say that diabetics are failures as organisms too, but does saying that help them lead comfortable lives? ", "comment": "Two days ago I recieved the results of my latest blood test.\r\rI had my 19th Birthday on May 13th.\r\r\rThe results of my blood tests have shown that my liver is going into failure.\rI drink (on average) 600ml of vodka everyday (I also \"overdose\" on codeine-based painkillers, smoke cannabis daily, and induce vomiting at least once on a daily basis.\r\rTonight I was talking to my boyfriend about he prospect of me going into rehab for a few weeks. I'm 19 years of age, and I know that I have so much potential, but my SO thinks that going to rehab is confirmation that I am, in fact, a failure.\r\rWhat do I do?", "post_id": "2664or", "comment_id": "choar5v"}, {"question": "Okay, so I'm speaking as A. Someone in recovery and B. A therapist.  If this is a TLDNR, just look at the next two paragraphs.\n\nThe advice I was given by psychiatrists/medical professionals when I got to treatment and wanted to get off of anti-anxiety medication (for other reasons than those you mentioned) is that you should be sober a year before discontinuing psychotropic medication. And then only under a doctors supervision. Early sobriety is not the time to discontinue meds, you're going through enough changes already. Btw, I did get off those meds, and was really glad I waited a year. \n\nIf you are taking a medication 100% as prescribed, then it doesn't have any bearing on being \"clean\" or being \"sober.\"  Some people will say it does, or trash psychology/therapy in general, but no matter what these people say, the 12-steps cannot fully replace other mental health treatment. You aren't missing anything about the recovery process by being medicated. Even people in NA recognize that you need opiates after major surgery. \n\nMany mental health issues are exacerbated by drug use, or symptoms may be a direct side effect (for example panic attacks). People are often misdiagnosed because they either do not disclose their drug use to the doctor, or because they have a shitty doctor who doesn't pay attention to full criteria for diagnosis.  But people often find they aren't having the same symptoms they needed the medication for to begin with, and it's unclear if it's because the meds are working or if they were misdiagnosed/medicated. In these cases, discontinuation of medication should only be done with a doctors consent. And if the side effects aren't problematic, waiting a year is still a good idea. \n\nOn the other hand, long term use can minimize or hide mental health problems (for example depression). Whenever someone gets clean, things are going to be coming up that have been hidden under use.  You're going to be experiencing a full range of emotions again.  A lot of people relapse because they cannot tolerate this.  This is NOT the time to experiment with coming off a medication that has been helping you. Especially for something like mania that could lead you to relapse. \n\nIf you have a mental illness that typically cannot be managed by therapy alone, that probably means your brain chemistry needs tweaking to function \"normally.\"  Things like anti anxiety/depression medication typically allow you to use more of the neurotransmitters serotonin/norepinephrine, while anti-psychotics lower the amount of dopamine you take in.  Meaning they aren't getting you high/low, they are just helping your brain make better use of those neurotransmitters. That doesn't make you any more or less sober. It doesn't make you any more or less you. \n\nI guess my final point is there are plenty of reasons to come off medication, but what you described above... I understand you're concerns, I've had similar ones. But that isn't a good reason to come off medication that is actively helping you/treating your mental illness. If you really want to come off them, I'd wait at least a year. It's important you talk to your doctor, but if your doctor doesn't have experience with addiction they may not give you the best advice. \n", "comment": "I was drinking/doing coke/smoking crack a lot and during this time I was prescribed Welbutrin (an anti-depressant) and Tegretol (used for treating mania associated with bipolar)\n\nI feel that taking these medications helps me. I think it makes me feel happier and more relaxed, also less angry/obsessive. Sometimes when I'm not taking them I feel like I'm losing my mind and I just can't handle it. \n\nHowever, I am conflicted about taking them. Recovery is supposed to be about identifying underlying issues that made me use drugs and develop an addiction in the first place. I feel that suffering through the way that I feel without medication will make me stronger, and maybe I will be able to manage my symptoms instead of just masking them with prescriptions.\n\nWhat do you guys think? Should I take the pills that were prescribed to me or suffer through it without them?", "post_id": "6zg53v", "comment_id": "dmw876g"}, {"question": "Do you have a link to which brand you used? I\u2019m gonna do some reading on it thanks for the tip. I\u2019m tired of taking methylphenidate- makes me too wired.\n\nI\u2019m sorry about your tooth. Did you get to a dentist yet? I know I need to make a dentist appointment but I\u2019m scared to because of the purging.", "comment": "I\u2019m 9 days binge/purge free!!! I\u2019ve been working out healthy, eating when I\u2019m hungry but practicing control. It\u2019s so fucking hard. But I feel so good. I researched hard for something to control my sugar cravings - last binge was a $100 trip to donut shops and Trader Joe\u2019s and just feeling like shit after...my breaking point was that while I was biting into a donut, a back tooth broke apart. :so I tried Chromium as a supplement. Y\u2019all. My sugar cravings are way low now. I can\u2019t believe it.", "post_id": "f0wmkn", "comment_id": "fh0dzjs"}, {"question": "Take less or no adderall. Talk to your Dr and they can change the script. It sounds like you don't have a paradoxical effect from it and do you maybe shouldn't use it.", "comment": "I've been taking in Adderall for a few months now..ever since the pandemic..and I've noticed that my anxiety is skyrocketing of late.\n\nHow do I reduce my anxiety from Adderall?", "post_id": "jnvd8l", "comment_id": "gb3xro4"}, {"question": "She should get some counseling.", "comment": "My gf and I have long distance relationship for the last 5 years and we are pretty much committed to each other. We have told our parents about us and plan to get engaged in the near future.    \nWe were watching a movie while skyping with each other (we generally do this so we can kind of feel like we are actually cuddling each other while watching movies.    \nIn the movie it is revealed that the main character was raped by her father in the childhood. We began discussing about this like how devastating would this be for a person and then my girlfriend asked me \"What if I tell you I know someone who has gone through something similar?\". I am very good at assuming the worst so my heart started pounding and I asked her who she is talking about. She said it was her. I sat there completely shocked while she told me about how her older brother (5 years older than her) made her give him handjobs while he was 15 and she was 10. This continued for a year according to her and happened half a dozen times.    \nThen she went on to tell me how one of her uncles drunkenly called her when she was 15 and asked her to have phone sex with him. (He was 35 then and married). She refused and hung up on him.    \nAfter listening to all this I said to her that first off, none of this is her fault in any way. She said that she has a very fucked up mind about everything and she cringes even when her father (who is a great guy by the way) tries to hug her. Everything she told me has hit me like a hammer in my chest and I cannot even begin to imagine how to handle this. Her brother is still very much in touch with her (he is married and lives in a different city) and she pretends to have a good relationship with him because according to her, her parents will die if they came to know about her abuse at his hands. He calls her up frequently and talks as if everything is cool between them. Whenever the three of us have met, he has done things like slap her butt or talk about sex etc in front of her but like a fool I always assumed he was just being an immature brother (I have no siblings.) My girlfriend never even hinted at this history between them.    \nI am so shocked right now and I want to know what is the best thing I can do to help her. I don't even know if I am qualified to do that. I can't imagine her brother still getting to stay in our lives after all this.", "post_id": "73z4t7", "comment_id": "dnud2q5"}, {"question": "Maybe try reaching out to friends you had before you started smoking, or family who might be supportive? Looking on Craigslist or meetup or local community billboards to see if there are any group activities you might try? Signing up for a class at your local library or community college, or volunteering?", "comment": "On day 10 of me and my girlfriend not smoking anymore. We're doing fine minus the social aspect. Without weed, we have no friends. All of our friends smoke. We don't know how to make new friends, and we don't even know what to do with new friends if it's not smoking. I feel lost here. What do you do with people besides smoking and how do you make new friends? This is bumming both of us out and making quitting really hard. ", "post_id": "6nqrjg", "comment_id": "dkblqz2"}, {"question": "You should probably be seen by a doctor", "comment": "Alright excuse how long this may turn out. I also did post to r/periods Just hoping I'm not alone.  So im going to play out whats happened and any information I can give to see if I am not alone.  Just to start, I was diagnosed to pcos 10 years ago but do have heavu regular periods.  I also quit heavily drinking 45 days ago.\n\nStarted my period Thursday night as it was scheduled.  Friday I wake up covered in blood and I am so dizzy I cant stand.  I cant focus on objects, I got extremely nauseous and my stomach was cramping.  I finally settled myself doen but felt like I couldnt see.  I called off work and stayed in bed.  Over the day I felt so anxious.  I had a headachr and waves of nausea I was paranoid, worried things weren't real.  I felt like I couldnt focus on anything and my dreams were so intense.  I ate some watermelon and finally drank some water and that helped. Little bit.  Then yesterday I was anxious again buy ate more food, managed to go to the store and drank some water.  Today I woke up so entirely anxious and felt like nothing was real.  I finally ate some watermelon and and drank some water and reached out to friends for help.  They suggested anemia from blood loss.  My boyfriend took me to get a multivitamin and iron and its been about 3 hours since I took them.  Im super tired but the confusion isnt there anymore.  Has anyone experienced something that intense?", "post_id": "d4s9tf", "comment_id": "f0fymuc"}, {"question": "It will get better, but if you didn\u2019t go what you\u2019re going through you probably wouldn\u2019t have the motivation to stop. The pain is necessary, but it is also temporary.\n\nEdit: \u201cThe pain is necessary, but it\u2019s also temporary.\u201d  I think I may have to copyright that shit.", "comment": "I thought I could do moderation, but I can't.  Last night, I woke up at 3am in my car with no idea how I got there.  I'm scared.  Im starting complete abstinence.  Please, any words of comfort would help.", "post_id": "cs48ry", "comment_id": "exdbtz5"}, {"question": "Might consider calling the psychiatrist's office and asking them to give you a schedule to taper off your antidepressants ", "comment": "But I'm not sure. They only cost me $5/mo...\n\nI don't have the thoughts anymore, I'm not scared of my own mind. I could say I feel a lot better in that respect. I'm not sure what I should be feeling.\n\nI brought this up to my psychiatrist, and he suggested that if I wanted to get off them, to wait till after I moved back home from school since med changes shouldn't happen at the same time as big life changes, but I won't be able to see him again because I'm in another state AND he left the practice he was working at.\n\nI'm not sure how I'm supposed to decide this, obviously it doesn't have a clear decision and you guys can't tell me what I should/shouldn't do... but opinions?\n(225mg Effexor btw - I know I have to be careful and slow about weening myself off it)", "post_id": "1eo2ah", "comment_id": "ca233fy"}, {"question": "Really inspiring to read stories like this. Thank you for sharing! Very happy for you!!!", "comment": "The second year was MUCH better than the first year. The first year, I did everything wrong. I refused to get a sponsor because I was stubborn (& tbh I was an atheist afraid of the 3rd step) and I wanted to do it MY way. I bought in to the myth \u201cmeeting makers make it\u201d and I only went to NA meetings instead of AA. And guess what? I was MISERABLE. But one day God did for me what I could not do for myself. \n\nMy friend invited me to a midnight AA meeting and said there\u2019d be other young people there (my previous 2 only friends were twice my age and couldn\u2019t keep up with my energy so I was mostly alone). At the midnight meeting, I met two people my age and quickly clicked with them. Not only that, but I admired their recovery; they had done steps and were on fire for recovery. They introduced me to their sponsor one night at a book study and like word vomit, I asked him to be my sponsor. I didn\u2019t mean to ask, but it was like God was speaking through me. I expected him to say no cus I\u2019m a female and he\u2019s male, but his sponsor told him he believes that this is God\u2019s will. \n\nAfter that, I did everything I was supposed to. I met with my sponsor often and worked the steps. I hung around the winners (people with good recovery). I took suggestions from people with time in AA (I stopped going to NA cus my spirit found a home in AA). I found a Higher Power that I continue to give my will and my life to daily. I do 10, 11, and 12 daily. I\u2019m of service and I have commitments. I have the pleasure of taking other women through the steps. I can go where any free human can go. And best of all, I\u2019m happy now. Goodbye misery. \n\nI write this hoping that someone who was like I was can see that doing this on your own doesn\u2019t make anything better. Alcohol is not the problem; it\u2019s the solution. If you take away the alcohol/drugs, you\u2019re still left with the problem - YOU. I encourage everyone to take the suggestions listed above (essentially, get a sponsor, work steps, clean house, trust God, and help others). If you\u2019re an atheist like I was, give your will and your life over to AA. Alcoholics Anonymous has the solution and it\u2019s simple. If you read all of this, thank you for taking the time to listen to my story of how I stayed sober for a second year.", "post_id": "ehzr6j", "comment_id": "fcmtq6a"}, {"question": "I understand how you feel.  I overthink things constantly, especially my relationship.  Try relaxation techniques and mindfulness.  Just don\u2019t give up on yourself.  ", "comment": "I cannot make any decision without over-analyzing it. I remember last November, I went to a Cannibal Corpse show. I am a college student, so I was agonizing over whether or not I \"deserve\" to go, because I was behind on my studies. I was constantly agonizing, even after I had bought my ticket, I didn't even leave in my car until 30 minutes after the show had already started, because I was agonizing so much about whether or not to go - EVEN AFTER THE CONCERT HAD FUCKING STARTED.\n\nAbout a week and a month later, I got to see another one of my favorite bands, Periphery. I was (and am) so incapable of \"forcing\" myself to go, so I asked one of Facebook friends for a ride. I knew that if I had offered to buy someone's ticket in exchange, and have them drive to my house, that I wouldn't be able to back out of it, so I did that in order to \"force\" myself to go.\n\nIt's affected my dating life as well. I recently started seeing this one really cute girl who was shown interest in me. We went on a date two nights ago, but I constantly worry. *Am I REALLY into her? What if we had no chemistry on the first date? I also want to date this one OTHER girl who is also a runner, like me. Am I missing out? I have a preference for bigger girls, am I leading this one girl on because she's skinny/petite? This super-hot curvy girl 30 miles away from me in Los Angeles wants to hook up, am I spoiling my chances with actual dating if I hook up with the hot curvy girl? What if I miss out on the chance to hook up with the hot curvy girl?*\n\nNow that this cute girl that I've been seeing is not responding to my last message, my brain completely switched. *You should pursue this one girl! You're so lucky that a really cute, sweet and caring girl has expressed interest in you! You should go for it! Your fetish for bigger women is objectifying and animalistic, it's an anti-social part of you, and you should ignore it!* But I'm hoping that when she does finally respond to me, that I will be able to pursue her without those previous thoughts bugging me.\n\nI can't even decide what to do on a given day. *I have three hours to kill. Should I spend it studying, taking care of personal business, or going to the gym? Well, I have to eat breakfast, and if I go to the gym, I should eat breakfast first. But then I will only have two hours left, and I could barely go to the gym for an hour *and* get a measly 45 minutes of study time in before my job interview at 1, if I take into account the time it takes me to ride my bike between places.*\n\nI have a job interview at 1:00 today, and I STILL can't decide whether or not I want to go. *I have to study! I can't afford the lost time! I'm an engineering student who studies up to 35 hours per week! But then again, I have $1,300 in credit card debt, and getting a job would make my parents proud of me for taking personal responsibility. But then I would have to drive for an hour, 3 days per week. And my car is not in the best condition at the moment.* The job interview is in 30 minutes and I still do not know whether or not to go. UGH!!!\n", "post_id": "9nnykz", "comment_id": "e7npspt"}, {"question": "dependency/neediness/clinging will ruin a relationship every time", "comment": "Me (M/19) and my girlfriend (F/18) are in a 1.5 year relationship but for the last two months I am really doubting if I should break up or not. We go to college 2 hours away from each other so we see each other only in the weekends. She is a great girl: smart, caring and beautiful, but she has really low self-esteem and not a lot of friends so she is really dependent on me. This makes her hate it when I do something with my friends or family (for example she has forbidden me to go on a one week trip with my friends this summer) which makes me sad but I usually give in and choose to be with her instead. She cannot let go of me and begs for me to stay almost every weekend.\nThe plan is that I will move to her city next year and she wants to move in together but I fear that this will not do me and her any good. I think maybe the controlling will get worse and she will have nobody else.\n\nI will see her again next friday and I was planning to break up but I'm really not sure I will ever find such a great girl and even though she has her bad points, I really love her and definitely don't want to hurt her by breaking up..\n\ntl;dr My girlfriend is too dependent on me, should I break up with her?\n\nWhat is your advice? \n\n", "post_id": "6e2rj7", "comment_id": "di7b3uv"}, {"question": "It seems to me you are outside of your window of tolerance. This can cause you to be less flexible, creative and tolerant for challenges in life. Do you want to regain some control of your life?", "comment": "I'm not okay in the head in life in anything.... I'm frozen I'm dead I cant exist with everyone else. Life moves too fast for me... I have to keep up but it gets me mad... But I'm only reactive never thinking hardly breathing. And people pick up on my vibrations. Fuck this shit...", "post_id": "b1wx3t", "comment_id": "eioystx"}, {"question": "You may want to search \"sensation seeking \" and see if it fits.  Many people who are sensation seeking struggle with impulsive behavior in other areas.", "comment": "I think it has to do with transfering the addiction and behavior pattern, but I'd like a more elaborate answer.\n\nI know someone who struggles with adiction to cocaine and is also compulsive about sex.\n\nHe's not an offender, of course, but he never refuses sex, sometimes seems to drown his sorrow in compulsive sex, and thinks almost every woman he meets wants to have sex with him. That's like this with all of his female friends, he has a \"crush\" on all of them at some point, but then respectfully gives up on it once he realizes it's just his mind.\n\nAnd he tends to act obssessive sometimes when he's involved with someone and overly focused on it. Like he's in a rush of violent energy. He once told me he was thinking of suicide just because his crush said she couldn't go out with him that day.\n\nHe's trying to treat this, but it may seem too hard to resist.", "post_id": "h8o8yg", "comment_id": "fus0lbs"}, {"question": "I was 35 days dry when I relapsed and had my last drink. I hadn't made any conscious change until after that day, I was just waiting for the day I could drink again, and I justified cutting that from 6 months to 1 month. I think you gave the perfect definition of dry. Having no tools to cope, essentially \"white knuckling it\" as a lot of people say.", "comment": "First, I am so glad I can clearly see the difference between the two. To me, dry is when I am not drinking, but not working a program. When I am confronted with life's problems with no tools to cope with them. I will revert to my only coping mechanism I have which is anger. When I am dry I stuff my feelings in a hole to make everything seem ok to the outside world. When I do let it out I usually explode on someone or something. Most of the time I am miserable and think to my self I would be better off drunk.\n\nWhen I am sober and working a program I have an outlet for my frustration. I have better coping mechanisms and tools for each problem I may run into through out my day. The more I use these tools the better I get at calming down my racing thoughts. I am not spiteful and I can let things go. I know I don't have to hold things in any more. It is a peace and a happiness I have never known. It seems down right foreign. The promises really are coming true. Am I perfect? Hell no; I tend to swing back and forth, just not as wildly as I did in early sobriety. With your help I can get better.\n\nPlease comment on your experience with dry vs sober. I am sure we can all benefit! nick\n", "post_id": "1amwfe", "comment_id": "c8yywl9"}, {"question": "I wouldn't be quick to call this selfishness. I mean it may very well be, but I don't think you or any of us have the full story. \n\nIt sounds like there is more going on that we're not hearing and I don't think we're equipped to deal with the situation either way. I would look into actually workong at alanon because they can help you more than we can. \n\nI'm sorry you went through all this, alcoholics are a strange breed. My only advice is to be willing to talk to him and let let go of any resentments. Because where I'm from no one in the program would suggest to just cold shoulder you. The program is one of selflessness that begins on the selfish motive of escaping alcoholism. For me that quickly changed to being of service to the people my life.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I were dating for almost three years. We moved in together in January and one weekend in April he was away on a bachelor party trip. I went over to his moms house and she told me she was worried about him- that he had a gambling addiction. This was the first I had ever heard about this.\n\n\nWe planned to confront him on the Sunday of his return and while I was at work before picking him up his mother found drugs in his room. When we got to his moms she had staged an intervention and he admitted that he was doing drugs (not gambling) the entire time (going on about 7 or 8 months- possibly more).\n\n\nI had no idea that he was doing this. For awhile I thought he was depressed and thought that was just really what was going on but he was actually extremely addicted to heroin. This was absolutely crushing to me. My father died from a drug overdose when I was 15 and this really hit close to home.\n\n\nHe immediately went to a drug rehab after we confronted him. At first I thought he would only be there a month but it turned into a 90 day program. I supported him the entire time he was there by going to once weekly therapy sessions with him and going to a drug and alcohol seminar for 3 days at the rehab. We talked daily and got to see each other a couple of times when he was able to leave on a 8-hour or weekend pass.\n\n\nBy the time June rolled around I thought that he would be getting out and able to move back into our apartment we shared together. When I went to the therapy session for the week he told me that he would be going to a halfway house for six months after he left to stay sober.\nI can't say I was happy about this decision- I would have to move out of our apartment because he would no longer be living there and wouldn't pay rent. However, I wanted him to do what was best for his health and what he needed to do to stay sober.\n\n\nAs of last week he had been at his halfway house for a month- which meant that he would be able to leave on his own when he wanted. Which meant we would be able to see each other more than we had since he entered rehab in April.\n\n\nWe saw each other on Monday and he talked about wanting to hang out on Thursday (I was off work) and how I should pick a restaurant we could go to and have a good day. On Tuesday night he told me he couldn't be in a relationship with me anymore.\n\n\nThis was a complete shock. From the beginning he always told me how grateful he was that I was supporting him. I can't understand why after being there for four months (and over 2 years together) that he can just cut me out of his life all of the sudden.\n\n\nI understand that while in recovery and AA you become selfish because this is a life or death situation. I have been to Al-Anon and heard what the people in there have had to say too.\n\n\nI am just so confused and hurt that after all this time it is like I don't even figure into his life anymore. I know that some people say not to start a relationship within your first year in AA but we have been together so much longer than that.\n\n\nIf anyone can give me some advice- or help me understand maybe what is going on with him I would be so grateful. This has really affected me and I just want some understanding so I can have some kind of closure.", "post_id": "1kdp3y", "comment_id": "cboilg3"}, {"question": "A douchenozzle remains a douchenozzle, even if they have a job.", "comment": "My boyfriend was unemployed for seven years. Then finally I took the decision to come out of the relation. Though I loved him, I was irritated of this long unemployment. After I left him, now he has found a stable job and asking me to come back. But when I left him he abused me like anything. So I am not willing to go back.What should I do now?Did I do the right thing by breaking off in the first place?", "post_id": "3nmnz5", "comment_id": "cvpmudl"}, {"question": "I second trying to find another job first. That way you have a backup plan and way to support yourself, even if the pay is a little less. Or, stay at your current job until you get enrolled in CC.\n\nTake a look at what the CC has to offer and budget out how much you'll need to pay in tuition, and how much you spend each month on food, rent, utilities, etc. If you quit your job, how long will that savings last? Will you have enough money leftover for things like textbooks or unexpected emergencies? I do think getting that education will be worth it for you, but you have to make sure you have a way to support yourself. \n\nRemember to apply for any financial aid you can find for CC. Fill out the FAFSA - you'll need your last 2 years of tax return/income info but I'm sure you'll qualify for some federal aid. \n\nAnother possible option - maybe you could ask to work fewer shifts at your current job? Or take up a part-time job elsewhere.", "comment": "I (18M) work 5 hours a day as a grocery clerk. Work is tiring, boring and recently has become pretty strict. My 2 breaks have been cut into 1, I have to ask a manager if I can go on break, and I can no longer listen to music while I work. I\u2019m also trying to improve myself but I never feel like I have the energy to do so. I also get depressed because I think of work. It\u2019s not terrible, but I feel like I don\u2019t have the time/energy to improve myself because of it. I\u2019m thinking about working the holiday, then quitting and going to community college and try to figure out what I want to do in life. The pay isn\u2019t all that great and isn\u2019t worth it to me. I have a lot of money saved up. Should I quit when the holidays are over and focus more on myself?", "post_id": "e65u69", "comment_id": "f9o0hmn"}, {"question": "I have never once as an supervisor asked a prospective candidate about their GPA.  I supervise a mental health program.  \n\n\nTo be honest, I find it slightly off putting when someone puts their GPA on their resume.  \n\n\nIf this is something that's common for your field though, I would only explain it if they ask.  I would be honest about it.  Granted, the fact that I work in the mental health field, we're very accepting of mental illness (many of us talk about our diagnoses, what meds we take, our therapy, etc. at my agency) I've always been up front with my supervisors and supervisees about my diagnosis.  I try my best not to use it as an excuse for screwing things up from time to time, but I think being a person with ADHD gives me certain advantages over neurotypicals and certain deficits.  I think it's important for my supervisors to know both so they can help play to my strengths while giving extra support for my weaknesses.", "comment": "I had an interview with Raytheon and they asked me why my gpa is so low (it\u2019s on my resum\u00e9). I didn\u2019t really know what to say so I told them that I was overwhelmed with school work at the time. I mean this *is* true, but they didn\u2019t seem to like that reason. I figure that employers don\u2019t want to know that being overwhelmed makes your work quality suffer. Should I tell future employers about my disability (I also have bipolar disorder which wasn\u2019t being treated properly at that time)?", "post_id": "blu1xg", "comment_id": "emrffg1"}, {"question": "How well do you know your date? Could you talk to her and ask her expectations? Girls are people too -- she is probably nervous as well, and if you ask her something like \"So what do you want to do when we are at prom?\" she will probably tell you.", "comment": "THE MOON IS FALLING.\nTHE TOWN IS FLOODED.\nROBOT HITLER IS TAKING OVER.\n\n*AND PROM'S TOMORROW.*\n\nJoking aside, this is the second real school dance I've ever been to. This is the first one that I have a date for. I'm pretty much ready with everything. Tux, tie and flowers to match her dress, pictures, etc. Except when I get there, I'm probably going to feel like I climbed a mountain and think \"Okay. I got here. What the hell do I do now?\"\nI have no idea what to expect.\nI have no clue how I should act and how much attention I should pay to her.\nShe's a sophomore. I'm a junior. We're going with two mutual friends of ours.\nAnd I'm really unsure about what I should do with everything. Help. Me.", "post_id": "321wma", "comment_id": "cq79hbn"}, {"question": "Can we help you with your first step? We've been there and a lot of us have struggled with it as well.", "comment": "I have been clean 5 1/2 months and am still struggling with my first step. My SO is on his third step and being a GSR and all kinds of service work and I am jealous. I know I shouldn't be. I know my recovery is mine and his is his however I feel like I am being left behind. It makes me feel isolated and I know where loneliness can lead me. Any advice is greatly appreciated.", "post_id": "1rd4qc", "comment_id": "cdm0m8a"}, {"question": "Do you spend time with her and talk to her regularly?  If not, completely ignore step 1.  \n\nStart talking to her casually.  Skip to step 2 and invite her to do things with you.  If she accepts, you know there's a decent chance she may like you.  If she doesn't, she'll just decline.  Time to grieve the loss and move on.  \n\n\nIf you've never really talked to someone and confess that you've been pining over them and thinking about them when you've barely talked to them can very often make them creeped out even if there was a good chance they would have liked you once getting to know you.  \n\n\nWhat you outlined is the way that so many kids/teens try to make dating work (I did it too in my youth before learning how backwards it is).  Reverse the order of things.  That's how dating works because in reality, if you haven't hung out with them much already, you only like the image of who you think they are that you've created in your mind.  You might not even like them once you get to know them.  \n\n\nIf they accept and you go on some dates and get the vibe you're clicking, then go with step one.", "comment": "so this is my plan (CORRECT me if im wrong)\n\n1. Tell her that i like her \n\n2. BUT should i also say we could hangout one day RIGHT AFTER the confession sentence???\n\nI wont give her time to say yes OR no... i will say really fast: and we could also go to the movies or whatever you like :)\n\nTHEN i can wait for her answer???", "post_id": "ep410v", "comment_id": "feh228s"}, {"question": "I'm sorry you're having such a rough time lately :( Know that some set-backs are normal though - progress in therapy doesn't happen in a straight line! Also, exposure therapy for a phobia can take awhile to create some real change. Two months isn't all that long, depending on how severe the phobia is. Keep pushing and don't be discouraged by this bump in the road! There is hope.", "comment": "I've been dealing with this my whole life. I decided I was done living in fear and avoiding every little aspect of a good, fun life. I started exposure therapy two months ago and it helped with my hand washing and eating out at restaurants. But I still don't feel normal. I had to get a surgery done at the dentist yesterday and they brought me 4 antibiotic pills to swallow which I wasn't expecting. I started having a panic attack and explained to them why I was so afraid of taking them. They all just stared at me dumbfounded. I started hyperventilating and couldn't calm down even after they took the pills away. They had to help me breathe so I wouldn't pass out. I have never hyperventilated before in my life and that's when I realized I really do not have this anxiety under control. So I made an appt with a psychiatrist to hopefully prescribe me prozac that I used to take as a kid. But again, it's a pill... and I'm afraid. But it feels like my last option at a good life. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I'm so jealous of all my friends that can just get drunk and ride airplanes and rollercoasters like it's no big deal. I feel like this fear is all I am anymore. My life, my personality revolves around it and it's just so shitty I can't do anything without thinking about it. Sorry for the rant guys, I'm just so fed up.", "post_id": "bf0uk1", "comment_id": "elatmeh"}, {"question": "You're absolutely right!", "comment": "So my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. There is going to be a snow storm tomorrow and it is highly unlikely that the roads will be drivable. I asked him to sleep over at my house and he replied spending the whole day there at your house would be too boring. If you can't spend just one day with someone enjoying their company, watching movies and chilling, that seems like a big issue to me. Am I reading too much into this or is this as bad as it made me feel?", "post_id": "5p8m4z", "comment_id": "dcp9u9i"}, {"question": "Yep. Also feel like I can read and understand people fast and succinctly. I feel like I \"get it\" and I'm super intelligent and that's why I'm unstable because nobody else gets it ", "comment": "In both the \"I know what's wrong with me but there's NOTHING I can do\" way and the \"oh boy aren't I smarter and more intuitive\" kind of cocky way. I feel powerless against the anxiety that comes when I think about my last relationship which comes from lending too much identity which comes from not having a supportive  family of my own which brings repressed memories of abuse which, full circle, provides anxiety. I have a pretty good idea of my own mind, but completely lack the skills to deal with it. Secondly, sometimes I feel more attuned to the \"vibe\" of a room than others. This has been a consistent  phenomenon (others words, not mine.) Has anyone experienced anything like this? Sorry for rambling. Thanks.", "post_id": "2y011j", "comment_id": "cp54exs"}, {"question": "Why would recalling vivid dreams necessarily be a sign of a good thing? I won\u2019t claim it can\u2019t be, but there\u2019s no reason to assume it\u2019s anything but an odd finding like riboflavin turning your urine bright yellow.\n\nThis is also the kind of thing that\u2019s highly subject to placebo effect. It would be fascinating to do a double-blind randomized controlled trial, but I don\u2019t expect it.", "comment": "I rarely take multi-vitamins, but when I do I invariably wake up remembering vivid dreams. Most of the time when not taking vitamins I don't usually remember my dreams. I've seen this correlation for years now.\n\nI was under the general impression that multivitamins are next to useless for people with decent diets. I subscribed to that idea hence why I rarely take them, however if they seem to cause such a marked effect on dreams that makes me wonder if they really are effective in other ways too.\n\nI had a google and found that B vitamins are known to cause vivid dreams or help recall dreams. But what I couldn't find out is if this effect on me suggests that I am deficient in them.", "post_id": "fde852", "comment_id": "fjh4j3p"}, {"question": "There are unfortunately no ways to draw blood without a needle.\n\nYou mention therapy, but the specific form you should look for is exposure therapy. You work your way very gradually into retraining your body not to have such a strong response. This is very common and has a name, blood-injection-injury phobia; treatment is also common and can be highly effective.", "comment": "I\u2019m a 21 year old female, After some trauma as a child I have an extreme phobia of needles. Lately I\u2019ve been getting a bit better, it seems getting an IV in the back of my hand doesn\u2019t bother me as much, getting shots make me pass out still but nowhere near as bad as blood work. I can\u2019t be touched from my join down to my wrist without it triggering me. I can\u2019t hold my arms out fully because it\u2019s too similar to how you have to hold it during bloodwork. I can\u2019t have anything even slightly tight on my arms because it\u2019s to similar to a turnaquit. I\u2019m not even gonna look up how to spell that because I\u2019m scared of images popping up. We\u2019ve tried everything, I\u2019ve been to allot of therapy for this, numbing cream doesn\u2019t work because I can\u2019t even hold my arm out or wear a turnaquit. Even writing this is extremely triggering for me. I want to know if there\u2019s alternative ways of drawing blood, maybe other parts of the body, but I can\u2019t google it because I\u2019m too scared of what might pop up. I have many health issues that can\u2019t be properly dealt with without a blood test but for now my doctors have found ways of keeping most of them at bay with trial and error medication. They know blood work is too traumatizing for me so they also try and avoid it but they\u2019ve warned me before that I\u2019m gonna have to get it done eventually.", "post_id": "j087on", "comment_id": "g6p5df5"}, {"question": "Could indeed have multiple reasons, but I get the sense that people who feel this really intensely tend to not \"just be introverted\", but actually suffer from self-image / esteem issues, where they are constantly making an effort to figure out how to behave in that situation or with certain people, instead of just being themselves as they are in that moment. Of course, this is very tiring, and makes you feel like tapping out after a while.", "comment": "I dunno, after awhile lately I just kinda seem to tap out. Like recently at a friends party I was originally gonna spend the night (which was never a problem before) but like I almost wanted to cry because I needed to leave it was so bad.\nToday I hosted a Christmas party and it happened again. The party was only from 5pm-10pm but still, around 8, I started to tap out and I just wasn\u2019t feeling it anymore, and by 9:30-ish I just kept hoping everyone would just leave. \nI wasn\u2019t having a bad time either of these occasions, I just stopped being able to handle it after awhile. I\u2019m not sure why this has been happening... I\u2019ve noticed it at a lot of family get togethers, too. This is all new, I\u2019ve never had this problem before...\n", "post_id": "7kcoto", "comment_id": "dregu7f"}, {"question": "It's your decision 100%.  This is a forever decision so be 100% certain it's the right one for YOU.", "comment": "recently my fianc\u00e9 and I just moved to a state where i've never lived. I have no family in the state animal friends with no job either but i am currently in college. he is also in college with no job but he's being paid through the army to go to school. He already has a child and is a very good father even though his kid lives with his ex wife. He's been wanting another one and we've always joked about it. About four weeks ago when i found out He was excited. super excited. but now that we actually got here and he's in school he wants me to get rid of it. I'm 8 weeks. i don't want to get rid of it but i don't want to lose him. i don't know what to do. ", "post_id": "6ynbeq", "comment_id": "dmongq6"}, {"question": "I\u2019m so sorry. I hope it turns out well for you", "comment": "On the job hunt, was clean for a while but I reconnected with old friends, was frustrated with not getting any interviews, said fuck it and smoked a couple times. \n\nOf course now I get a text for a delivery job, 15/hr, that needs a drug screen. Fuck me.\n\nThis isn\u2019t the first time it\u2019s happened too, I feel so fucking dumb. \n\nGuess it\u2019s back to the kitchen.", "post_id": "eq5t5p", "comment_id": "feocnrd"}, {"question": "Excruciating pain after a crushing injury could be compartment syndrome, which is an emergency that can result in permanent damage to your leg. I can't examine well enough over the internet to be sure, and I'm the wrong kind of doctor anyway, but I urge you to go to an emergency room so that if it is compartment syndrome it can be dealt with quickly. That's not something that can wait until morning.", "comment": "Hi as I mentioned, I was riding my pony and we walked laterally full force into the fence (she weighs around 750-800 lb) with my left leg trapped between her and the fence. It is a wooden 3 board fencing. My pony is not very tall so the top rail got me right above my knee and on my thigh and the middle rail got me right in the middle of my shin. There are two large gashes where it looks like my skin was burned off. The top \u201cburn\u201d above my knee is dried but kind of weird looking like a yellow color but doesn\u2019t seem inflamed. I can feel a bit of bruising surrounding and under it, there is minor swelling, but not too bad.\nThe bottom one...it\u2019s excruciating. I had to ride yesterday because a client paid for me to ride her horse in a clinic. It didn\u2019t hurt as bad yesterday. This morning I taught a lesson, and it bothered me. Now, I am home laying down and I can hardly walk. When I stand up I feel all the blood rush to the lower gash and it\u2019s excruciating. I broke that ankle before and had to get surgery, it feels very similar to the feeling of blood rushing down my leg to the surgical site, and throbbing and burning. Almost my whole calf and shin area is throbbing and extremely painful, my entire shin is swollen . I can\u2019t touch anywhere on my shin without it hurting. I am wondering now if it is more than a bruised bone. I will make a doctor appointment in the morning. But is there a possibility I broke my leg?! \n\nRight now I have large bandages in the gashes, took ibuprofen, and also have antibacterial cream on.\n\nI have to wait until tomorrow morning to make an appointment with my doctor", "post_id": "cs94dq", "comment_id": "exdfqpa"}, {"question": "That is pretty specific to psychodynamic therapy. If you would feel more comfortable,  you should definitely ask. I have a couch, but am never directive with my patients. I have only had one person lie down.", "comment": "Like how you see in the movies basically, lol.\nLying down on a sofa or something with the head under a pillow.\n\nI always see it in movies but have never seen it in real life.\nI was on the phone talking to my nan about my anxiety, and I laid down on my bed and felt more comforted, so it seems like it works to some extent and I was wondering if it would be weird for me to ask my therapist if I could lie down during our sessions sometimes if I\u2019m talking about something that makes me anxious (whenever we go back to doing in-person appointments)", "post_id": "hf6dib", "comment_id": "fw0546g"}, {"question": "everyone has something in their past. it's NOW that counts", "comment": "Thank you for taking interest in my post! This is a throw-away account, obviously. First, I\u2019d like to provide a little background on myself. I have only been intimate with two women, ever. I dated one of them for four years, and the other for six years. I am not insecure \u2013 I just enjoy being best friends with the person I choose to have regular sex with; I have never been a fan of hookups.\n\n\nAbout one month ago, I met the girl of my fucking dreams. We\u2019re compatible in every way imaginable. Music, food, cars, games, philosophies, careers, family \u2013 everything. She has the sweetest personality, and is absolutely smoking-hot (also great). I already feel like I\u2019ve known her my entire life, because she is essentially me in female-form. I\u2019ve taken a multitude of women out on dates, and just never really felt a connection. With this girl, it\u2019s very different \u2013 we both feel an undeniable spark. We live on opposite sides of the state, so seeing each other is essentially a weekend-trip, which we\u2019ve done a few times already. There have also been a few spontaneous midnight drives. We both see fantastic things in our future. We really, really like each other. We\u2019re a much-needed breath of fresh air for each other.\n\n\nHOWEVER, when our friendship was in early development, I remember her making a comment about how attractive a passing-by female was. I asked if she was bi-sexual, and her answer was \u201cmore like bi-curious\u201d. My heart began racing, as I\u2019ve always been timid on the subject of threesomes. However, out came the question: \u201cSo you\u2019ve never been in a threesome? Me either.\u201d She stopped for a moment and said:\n\n\n\u201cPlease don\u2019t judge me, but I have been with two guys at once. It was like six years ago, and I was sort-of dating one of the guys. We were cuddling, when his friend randomly entered the room. He laid on the other side of me and started touching me between my legs. Then, my boyfriend started kissing me. Before I knew it, they were both inside of me. I didn\u2019t do anal or anything \u2013 I was just like, Eiffel-towered I guess. I was laughing the entire time, totally shocked that it was happening. It wasn\u2019t rape \u2013 I was young and stupid so I went along with it. Clearly my boyfriend at the time pre-planned it without me knowing. I\u2019ve never had a fantasy of being with two guys at once \u2013 it just sort-of happened and I don\u2019t know why. It wasn\u2019t even enjoyable. I didn\u2019t even orgasm, and neither did his friend. I\u2019ve always wanted to try an MFF threesome though, so if you\u2019d ever be open to that, I\u2019m your girl.\u201d Obviously not quoted to a tee, but this is everything she said.\n\n\nNow, okay \u2013 NOT a deal-breaker. I still really, really like her. She\u2019s been very open about discussing it, and I\u2019m working on getting over it. Threesomes have always been a big insecurity of mine \u2013 probably because I\u2019ve low-key wanted to have one but never admitted it to myself. The fact that she had sex with 100% of the number of people I\u2019ve EVER had sex with in a single session makes me a little jealous. It makes me feel like a loser, kind-of. Only now, watching MMF porn instantly makes me feel sick, but it\u2019s all I\u2019ve been watching in attempts to get over it. Every time I see the year \u201c2012\u201d anywhere, I immediately start picturing her in a threesome. Every time there\u2019s another guy in our presence, it\u2019s all I can think about. Ever since learning of this, the thought has crept into my mind nearly every waking hour. Some days it\u2019s better than others. We\u2019re still talking every day, and we\u2019ve seen each other / gotten very intimate several times since I learned of her threesome. I have no intentions of leaving her \u2013 she\u2019s the fucking jackpot-lotto woman besides the threesome. I\u2019ve even told her: \u201cI don\u2019t wish you hadn\u2019t had that threesome, because it\u2019s part of you, and I like you \u2013 it\u2019s just me that needs to overcome it.\u201d\n\n\nI\u2019ve been thinking a lot about how to cope, and strangely enough, I think having an MMF threesome with her would immediately make me feel better. I am NOT insecure \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t get butt-hurt watching another guy do her with me. The only reason I want this, is because she said her original threesome was poorly-executed and didn\u2019t feel good. I know for a fact that I could give her an enjoyable one. I aim to succeed in all facets of life, and I\u2019m certain I could make her feel like royalty in that bed. I believe this sex act would \u201coverride\u201d her threesome from 2012. You know, \u201cOh, yeah she had a threesome back in 2012 but that was just child\u2019s play \u2013 I gave her the one she actually enjoyed.\u201d Whether or not she\u2019d even be up for this \u2013 I have no idea. She\u2019s definitely open to an MFF threesome, so maybe we can do both? I really have no idea.\n\n\nAm I going crazy? I feel like I might be. I really, really, really like this girl and I\u2019m willing to do whatever it takes to swallow this. I just want to never think about it again and move our relationship forward. Does anyone have any advice?\n\n\n**TL;DR \u2013 **my new female SO was involved in a random one-off, uncalled-for MMF threesome six years ago. I am having trouble swallowing it, because I\u2019ve never had a threesome. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s a slut. However, I want to have an MMF threesome with her now, as a means of \u201coverwriting\u201d her past one.", "post_id": "6z26n6", "comment_id": "dms2kh8"}, {"question": "One of the horrible things about dementia is you can lose the person you love while that person is still alive. No one should judge you for that; it's a terrible thing to deal with.\n\nIt's up to you and your family whether you want to spend time with him now. Even if it's not something you enjoy, it could be something worth doing if your grandfather enjoys your company still. Or if your family feels better when he gets visitors. You'd have to think of it as a sacrifice you're making for other people, not for your own enjoyment.\n\nSometimes it's okay to mourn and not visit, too. It's something to figure out for yourself and with your family. Don't let other people try to judge and guilt you over it\u2014they're not experiencing it as you are.", "comment": "Hi, to clarify i\u2019m a 17 year old if that can give any potential help for someone my age, and my best friend (my grandad) has been diagnosed with dementia. now this will sound horrible and heartless but i just can\u2019t stand being with him anymore. i\u2019ve tried so hard but it\u2019s just not the same, he\u2019s just not the best friend i\u2019ve spent my entire life growing up with. While i\u2019ll probably be judged heavily for this does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with it better? it\u2019s absolutely destroying me ever since..", "post_id": "ean27j", "comment_id": "faumz5f"}, {"question": "That could be something like hypothyroidism, which has some association with acne. It also could be depression and acne separately. Seeing a regular primary care doctor for a thorough history and exam would be a good start.", "comment": "I\u2019m a 20 white female about 120 pounds. I feel like I might have something medically wrong with me. I used to be a super motivated, happy person, but I\u2019m not that anymore. Starting this summer, I have gotten acne really bad. I literally used to never have it and now no matter what I do, it won\u2019t go away. I also get dizzy sometimes and I have headaches several times a week. Used to, medicine would help but now it really doesn\u2019t. I also have completely lost interest in all of my hobbies like art and music and I feel depressed most of the time. I also sometimes get really angry with people and I can\u2019t really control myself if that makes sense. I also don\u2019t have as good of a memory as I used to. I don\u2019t know if any of this stuff is related but it\u2019s only been happening the last few months. If anyone has any insight, it\u2019d be super appreciated!", "post_id": "a0bz9d", "comment_id": "eagh1ww"}, {"question": "You should seek out a psychiatrist.  I am almost certain of your diagnosis, and although I cannot and will not officially diagnose you over the internet, I can tell you that medication therapy should help you.  Especially if you engage in counseling at the same time.  I know you said you have not had success in counseling before, but I would urge you to keep trying.  Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the right counselor, or the best therapy.", "comment": "I wish I was the same everyday, I know it would be dull but at least I would know what to expect. For a few days I'm really happy but I do get so angry so easily with people for really dumb shit I think I just have a bad temper or something.I also do so much stuff when I'm happy like new start new hobbies which usually last a week but I still manage to spend a stupid amount of money on things for it which end up laying around never used. This is also the time I  think everything in my life is wonderful and there's no need for help so I stop going to counselling or whatever. Eventually I go back to sitting here doing fuck all wasting my time not doing any uni work and getting shitty grades. I also start self harming,drinking,being slutty(i'm also slutty when im happy, I think thats just me) and loosing friends.This is the point i'm at now. I'v been to counselling which didn't help because I can never say how I feel or I don't know how i feel , I also had CBT for anxiety which did nothing for the same reasons. sorry if non of this makes sense I'm just writing as it comes.I just don't really know what to do. ", "post_id": "4esnr3", "comment_id": "d235w6y"}, {"question": "You're not gonna die.\n\nCannabis use tends to worsen anxiety chronically, but I don't know of anything suggestive about very occasional recreational use with or without SSRIs. It's probably as safe as cannabis for anyone, which is to say mostly but not entirely safe.", "comment": "How likely is a young man in his early 20s of average weight and above average height to experience ill effects of smoking cannabis once every month or so while continually taking Sertraline 50mg? What type of ill effects are to be expected if likely and are they likely to be fatal?\n\nTL;DR Am I gonna die if I get high this weekend?", "post_id": "aqevte", "comment_id": "egfj6kc"}, {"question": "Where do you live? It's different in different countries where you can go.", "comment": "I'm kindof stressed out right now and not really sure what to say in this. If I calm down later or tomorrow I'll try to come edit this to a better explanation but thank you in advance to anyone who responds. \n\nOver the past 3 months, I've been recommended that I get tested for ADHD or a similar attention disorder from 2 separate people who have it, both drawing on experiences they've seen me have and guessing at past experiences I've had that were right on the money that tie into symptoms if ADHD. Ive had thoughts in the past about this but have just brushed them aside thinking this is how everyone gets, but the more I talk with people who and do my own research I feel that I may actually have this. \n\nBut I don't want to self-diagnose or throw myself into a self-induced panic spree again, so I'm looking for options for testing and diagnosis from some sort of professional, just so I can have concrete answers and my feelings and concerns confirmed or assuaded. I've been putting this off for so long but this is the only way I can think of rn to start the process of looking and holding myself accountable. \n\nThank you", "post_id": "bzlboo", "comment_id": "equhexq"}, {"question": "What's your medication history (ie what have you tried before and ideally at what dose)?", "comment": "Is there a similar psychotropic to Trazadone, but not a benzo (I develop quick tolerance to it)? I'm already on Gabapentin, Cymbalta, and Welbutrin every day for anxiety. I use Xanax or Vallium for episodic, prolonged moderate to severe panic attacks.\n\nFor several severe level anxiety disorders and also slight sleep aid (sometimes my Wellbutrin causes insomnia). Thank you. Yes, under the care of doctors.", "post_id": "5xi70a", "comment_id": "dej6trx"}, {"question": "I'll echo what everyone else said that this really isn't about the door, but let's talk about the door for just a second ...\n\nMy SO and I had this exact disagreement - I'm the slammer who was raised with old shitty cars, and currently drive an aging car that needs the door to be shut pretty hard otherwise it stays ajar. The trunk has to be slammed like your life depends on it or it pops open. SO's car is nice, new, expensive, and requires only a gentle touch. It really *is* a tough habit to break, especially when literally every other time you get in a car you have to think about something so automatic.\n\nLong story short: he asked nicely that i be mindful about the car door, explained that his car was important to him, and I tried to be careful with it. It took a few accidental slams, for which he reminded me politely. Now it's fine.\n\nKindergarten rules, man. Ask politely and be nice. Don't make fun of people. Don't run with scissors (that's just solid safety advice).", "comment": "Earlier today, she slammed the car door, and it is not the first time. I keep asking her to simply not slam the car door, and 70% of the time she will still slam it.\n\nOh and this isn't just louder than usual, it's a full fucking slam, as if she needs the door to come into the car with her.\n\nI laughed for the first 20 times, now it's just getting stupid.\n\nShe blames being raised with older cars and so the habit just stays. I say, that's fine, but this car is not any of those, you can stop doing that now.\n\n\nAnd so, with the most recent time, we had a mutual friend in the back seat, and being a social setting that is more than just us two, it is extremely normal for me (and all of us) to make fun of someone for doing something that is clearly ridiculous and unnecessary. So, I make fun of her, and she gets super upset that I am having fun at her expense over something that is just stupid. \n\n\nHowever, we had agreed to stop being overly mean to each other in front of others, and that we can sort things out between us without other people being involved. \n\n\nI wanted this to not carry on, so I removed myself from our bedroom so she could take her mind of of the matter, and I went into my studio to do the same. After all, it is a trivial matter. I thought it would just pass and we could carry on.\n\n\n\nThis is fine, but now she has chosen to drag this out all evening, (2 hours after getting home), by coming into my studio and continuing the argument. I ask her to just leave and we can talk about this when she isn't stressed, and it stops stressing me out. \n\nAnd now, she has decided to just leave the house now, at 1am. \n\n\n\nAm I being an asshole? Or is she actually being ridiculous? This has gone on a bit too long, and now, I'm asking you folk in here for some advice. \n\n\nI hope I can find some sort of resolution...", "post_id": "452fhu", "comment_id": "czvapvm"}, {"question": "You can't just expect to remove a large part of your life that involved habit and self comfort, without having a replacement. Something healthy. Friends, family, a relationship,  sports or gym  or exercise, etc... Something to occupy your time", "comment": "When I am in Boston for my last semester of school, I literally do not know what to do with myself on the weekends. During the week\nI get out of the house and am so busy so smoking temptations are not present. On the weekend, I have nothing to occupy my time, and I am drinking more. The temptation to smoke is so much higher as well.\n\nAny tips for surviving the weekends? Today is day 6. I'm gonna head back to bed for a nap and hopefully when j wake up I will be motivated to do stuff. \n\nUPDATE: Day 7 without weed, day 1 without alcohol. I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to this weekend, but I am feeling so much better about myself. Going to read a book before bed, give myself some relaxing time before I go to sleep. I feel absolutely amazing at the end of a hard weekend.", "post_id": "42b65f", "comment_id": "cz8zvze"}, {"question": "What would swimming do for you?", "comment": "Hey all, long time lurker. I'm going through a bad stint of insomnia, having 9 nights in the past few weeks where I hadn't slept a wink, then off to work etc. I suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder. Further complicating things, I have tinnitus and it seems the motion of running (bouncing up and down) aggravates the tinnitus somewhat. Anyways, I'm interested in getting into exercise as a way to stop me from spiraling into depression even further as I can recognize when I DO get exercise I feel better. So I ask you, what's your favorite way to get exercise that you might recommend? I'm interested in getting into something long term. Thanks in advance and thanks for letting me lurk for so long, you're an inspiring community.", "post_id": "6if3yq", "comment_id": "dj6phfu"}, {"question": "Maybe make some plans before hanging out? That way you know what they want to do and can plan for it. Ie, \"Hey, do you want to come over and want this new movie I rented?\" If they all agree to that, then you can structure the evening around the movie watching.", "comment": "When I have friends over, I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a sort of weird mentality where I just don't know what to do if my friends don't want to play video games. It's been the same for a long time and I've actually lost a friend over it. I just started university and I've been talking to alot of people in my class. I would like to make actual friends and hang out with them outside of lectures. But I don't want to make an seuper-awkward and bad impression on them when inviting them over.\n\nso, how do I become a decent host? What do semi-grown ups do when they hang out?", "post_id": "11uycu", "comment_id": "c6puwyj"}, {"question": "Seek out a therapist. If you don't care why it's happened and just want to work on getting over it, find one that practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. They will help you work on reducing and hopefully eliminating your reactions to touch. It might be helpful to find a female therapist, but that is completely up to you and how comfortable you would be. You don't need to go into a therapeutic relationship with extra stress on you. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "23j5ui", "comment_id": "cgxlkab"}, {"question": "Sounds like you\u2019re being thoughtful and aware of your feelings. If you were my client (I\u2019m a therapist), I might recommend being open and honest about what you\u2019d like. And figuring that out for yourself first, if you\u2019re not sure. \n\nMost people enter a relationship on their best behavior and slowly start to let their true selves out. This is why things change. If people went into relationships honestly and open about our messiness and shortcomings, then things don\u2019t change later. The other person can either take us as we are then or move on, but either way, we\u2019ve saved ourselves some pain and jumping through hoops we created. Let them see the real you and then you know they like you for you, and not the You you think they want. Am I making sense?\n\nYou may be attracted to him, but if he\u2019s not willing to respect what you want or at least consider it and be honest back, then I\u2019d say you\u2019d be dodging a bullet by moving on. Best of luck! New relationships can be fun! You can always go in with I\u2019m going to make the most of our time together, no matter how short or long we have.", "comment": "But didn't! She asked how I was doing and I answered her truthfully.... But omitted what was really weighing on me. Idk why. She followed off of what I did mention (my productivity) and that became the topic instead.\n\nWhat's really on my mind: I recently reconnected with someone I used to hookup with. He gave me a blank check for where to take things. I think?? I like him and am into him, but am naturally fearful of non casual contexts. So I've been fussing over how to handle things.\n\nI have a sense of how I want to manage things.. but am second guessing lots. I even second guess the best manner to tell him what I have in mind (in person, or over text). In the end, I figured in person, but he's not available tomorrow. So I switched to telling him I'd describe it to him later today over text.\n\nOverall I'm afraid of opening up romantic possibilities between us only to put him off by being overly invested. It's easily possible, he's a casual guy as far as I can tell (even if he's open to dating, which I'm second guessing).. whereas when I like someone I get super psyched out (if you can't tell).\n\nI'd also hate to pursue romance only to realize we don't mesh well (despite my attraction). Which is why I've been meaning to ask to explore each other mostly in the bedroom like we used to, just with more room to low key \"get to know each other.\" And if we feel like doing cute stuff outside of the bedroom then we can act on those impulses. But intentionally dating is scary to me. For risk of rejection I suppose.\n\nI want everything to be chill but I'm just not. Chill. Lol :')", "post_id": "ajw89w", "comment_id": "eezd56a"}, {"question": "talk to your gyn, not teenagers on reddit", "comment": "Hey guys, sorry if this is the wrong place but I'm a long time lurker and first time posting. (On throwaway because my bf has reddit too) I'm on mobile so forgive me if anything is wrong. \n\nNow, this isn't the type of dilemma that's so bad.. our sex life is great (been together two years, he actually took my virginity...) but I have a problem. I think he's average sized, but I always have discomfort after sex. \n\nIt I guess seems like there is some tearing, but I don't know what else to do to prevent it. We use foreplay every time, I'm always comfortable/turned on, and we have used lube for the past few months too as a way to try to ease more into sex (though not really necessary). Also, we generally have sex at least 4x a week, so I feel as if I should have adjusted to his size by now. \n\nI just always experience a discomfort afterwards. Stings a little to urinate after. It only lasts for about an hour at most. But it's becoming tiring. It isn't effecting our sex life at all, as I love him and love sex with him, so it's almost irrelevant. But right after it just gets annoying, and it's after every time. \n\nDoes anyone have anything else to advise for me please? Before anyone asks, as well, we are both 100% clean of STD's and are 100% faithful. Though this is a minor inconvenience, I would like to resolve this issue.\n\nThank you for any help, fellow Redditors!\n\n", "post_id": "6l5k4j", "comment_id": "djrifnv"}, {"question": "It's one thing to talk and get it all out, but that's only part of the therapy process. Catharsis is good and feels good, but without a genuine connection to the person that your sharing with, it's a alot like disclosing and sharing yourself in an empty room. Disclosing and sharing on the internet is like writing something on the wall in a bathroom stall, you don't know who will see it, you're anonymous, and people can't be trusted to be positive or honest or serious (and it's usually kind of gross). \nTherapy is scary until you get started because you have to trust someone new with who you are and what your struggling with. Learning to share yourself is important and therapy is worth it in my opinion. ", "comment": "I've had 2 serious bf's. My current one of 5 years and my first one of 3 years. \n\nMy first bf told me he could get girls prettier than me, but my personality \"made up for it\". Keep in mind he was nothing special.\n\nMy current bf told me \"I know there are very pretty girls but now I only see you\". I know that sounds cheesy but I know he meant it and it's the first time I've actually believed I'm beautiful.\n\nI've gained weight since dating bf 1, and I still just think sometimes \"omg if he saw me he'd laugh\"\n\nAnd for some reason I just realized tonight that I've held that deep down about myself and it's impacted me a lot subconsciously. Like I let him assess my self worth. \nThat's fucked up. I legit wouldn't get back with him and have found someone who suits me so much better, it's fucking bugging me that I'm giving him this power and he probably doesn't think about me at all (he prolly does)\n\nBasically, like I said in the title, I'm looking for a therapist that isn't in person and will listen to my shit.", "post_id": "7pwdks", "comment_id": "dskqsuy"}, {"question": "I'd recommend asking in /r/psychotherapy", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ejk5y6", "comment_id": "fd0m5pz"}, {"question": "I wonder if this was supposed to be metaxolone (Skelaxin) or meloxicam (Mobic) and got messed up somewhere.", "comment": "Greetings all, I (21M) had a question which just struck me after doing some internet searches. I recently went to the doctor to get a checkup about some hip/sciatic nerve pain that I\u2019ve had for months now. The doctor prescribed me a steroid, an anti-inflammatory, and a muscle relaxer to take at night before bed. I\u2019m not worried about the first to but the Metformin (the doctor claimed is the muscle relaxer) however when I look up Metformin it says it\u2019s a anti-diabetic medicine. I don\u2019t really see anything about it being a type of muscle relaxer. I have never been told about diabetes and as far as I know I do not have diabetes (my grandpa has diabetes and he did a test for me months ago and said as far as he can tell I seem to be alright).  \n  \nI just want to know if the medicine I was prescribed is correctly prescribed as a muscle relaxer or if it\u2019s incorrectly prescribed? Thanks!", "post_id": "f7qemg", "comment_id": "fif4ykf"}, {"question": "people fall in love again the way they did in the first place. they went on dates, did a lot of fun things together, and feelings came.   do it again!", "comment": "I've been with my partner 6 years and the spark and excitement has died. It just kind of feels like we are close friends!! Any ideas of how to get back that butterflies in the stomach feeling and looking forward and exciting to seeing him. I want to revisit that feeling of excitement!!!", "post_id": "5tjrlr", "comment_id": "ddn2kkm"}, {"question": "An EKG includes heart rate as part of what it measures, but neither resting heart rate nor an EKG in isolation are very useful measures of overall health. Abnormalities can be concerning or suggestive, but I wouldn't want to rely on them exclusively.\n\nI can imagine a wearable device that provides constant heart monitoring saving lives, but rarely in people with no known cardiac problems.", "comment": "Yesterday Apple announced that Series 4 of their watch includes a sensor that allows you to take an ECG/EKG.  It\u2019s been approved by the FDA.\n\nThe question I\u2019m wondering (and having a hard time googling) is how does this compare to a resting heart rate as a marker of health? Does it make a difference if you\u2019re in your 20s/30s/40s vs 60s/70s/80s?\n\nI\u2019ve heard anecdotally that people have had apple watches, fitbits, etc possibly save their life by alerting them to heart issues. Does this new feature make a significant advancement in that area?", "post_id": "9fi5fy", "comment_id": "e5wmey4"}, {"question": "Not really. In most cases (though with notable exceptions) you cross-taper, whereby you start the new antidepressant as you reduce the other. Helps with withdrawal symptoms too.\n\nDidn't your prescriber tell you what to do?", "comment": "Is there any danger of swapping anti depressant medication as directed by my GP even though I'm still experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the 1st medication (Effexor XR transitioning to Lexapro)?", "post_id": "6sc2az", "comment_id": "dlbldue"}, {"question": "ask her to go to counseling with you if this doesn't resolve soon", "comment": "Hi all,\n\nBeen lurking here just getting a fresh perspective on things.  It's comforting to know you aren't the only one with relationship issues.\n\nMy [37m] SO [25f] has withdrawn from the relationship.  We've been together for 2 1/2 years now and things were amazing up until 12 months ago.  She suddenly became distant, regular messages stopped and as petty as it sounds there were no more \"x\" in her messages.  This wouldn't have been an issue but physical affection dwindled too which made it more obvious.\n\nShe doesn't kiss me or hug me unless I initiate - sex went from daily to weekly/fortnightly.  There just doesn't seem to be any passion any more.  \n\nShe suffers with anxiety and when I've tried talking to her she just says that's the reason she's not feeling affectionate which I can understand but when she's with her friends, coworkers or her sister I see that old person again.  I feel bad because this should be a nice thing to see but I actually get jealous that she's still like that with almost everyone but me.\n\nShe assures me she still loves me and that I just need to bare with her.  I'm sure she's not seeing anyone else as she just doesn't have the time to.\n\nI'm sure that if I stopped making an effort like texting/ringing/visiting she wouldn't really bat an eyelid and just let it happen but then again that might be paranoia and could possibly go the other way where she notices...\n\nHeads up my ass at the moment and I'm trying hard to get my sh*t together and back off a bit as it's all getting a bit much for me now...\n\nLeft me feeling unappreciated and rejected...\n\nSoft ass I know!!", "post_id": "6ooomp", "comment_id": "dkixohl"}, {"question": "I've had this phobia for as long as I can remember (I'm 22 now). I think part of it is related to my older sister having IBS and being lactose intolerant from a young age. We used to share a room as kids and she would tell me about how sick eating dairy made her. I distinctly remember her telling me that it sometimes made her throw up so hard that she passed out. Likely she was just exaggerating, but that might have affected me. I also have a type A, anxiety-laden type of personality, though the general anxiety might be more of a result from the emetophobia.", "comment": "I recently have been spending a lot of time thinking about what may have caused my emetophobia.\n\nI am 28 now and have had generalized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember, which I have been in therapy for since I was 18.  I did see a school counselor since the age of 6 for anxiety as well, before that.  I don't know if GAD came first or emet.  Chicken or the egg.\n\nIt almost feels like it is on the tip of my tongue what caused it but I can't pin it down. Or maybe it's a variety of things. I did have a very bad illness when I was in elementary school that lasted a week, so perhaps that was the traumatizing event. I also remember being sick in a public mall when I was little (maybe 4 or 5) and I distinctively remember my mom pulling me out of the mall sternly saying \"WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?\" in regards to me being sick. (I also remembered thinking, \"I don't know, mom!  I didn't want it to happen!)\n\nI also remember an incident early on in my childhood (2nd grade or so) where I didn't want to go to school for weeks because a child in my class had been sick.\n\nFinally, my mom had a very strict parenting style.  Shove all problems under the rug and appear perfect type of perfectionism needed at all times.  I do believe this plays into my emetophobia because I don't like not being in control myself now, and being sick is my ultimate loss of control.\n\nSorry for the musings.  I am just trying to make sense of it all.  How could anxiety, especially emetophobia, happen to me at such a young age?  Is it all parenting? Genetics? A mix?\n\nDoes anyone know for sure what caused their phobia?", "post_id": "5lxmup", "comment_id": "dcnfwvx"}, {"question": "A shrink here. I'd say you're somewhere on the spectrum of normality rather than having a diagnosable mental illness (with the caveat that ive not met you). On the other hand you sound somewhat directionless in life, an early life crisis if you will. The cannabis use (depending on strength and regularity) might be exacerbating some of your symptoms.", "comment": "I posted in a few subs and just found this one.\n\nI am basically looking for as close to a diagnosis as is possible. I don't want a diagnosis to feel bad for myself or to buy pills illegally or anything sketchy, I just want to know what I am dealing with. I know a lot of you will be almost as good as a psychiatrist and I really don't want to speak to a psychiatrist.\n\nI guess the basics, I lack certain emotions like intimacy and love. I have what I believe is called avolition and depersonalization. I have asked around in a few mental health subs (Schizoid, Depression, Sociopath) and all of those think I have none of these so I'm kind of lost. I have no interest in anything and all the free time and money I have goes towards making time pass quicker, be it consuming food, weed, tv, film, music or whatever. I have no dreams or goals.\n\nI sometimes feel as if I am in a simulation, because I seem to grow irritated very quickly by things that have no affect on others. For example, I can't comprehend how people are stupid enough to share those (Share, bill gates is giving away an iPad!) shitty adverts, I can't comprehend how at work people are able to listen to the same 20 songs on loop every day without it drilling in their skull. They even chant along to the adverts that they are well versed in, that's how much they hear it. I don't understand how people have no problem with stuff like this.\n\nI am generally very emotionless, although I have like a \"gap in my armor\" for animals, specifically dogs. I feel almost no emotion but I cry if I think about if my dog were to die. If it matters, I think I see an innocence and purity in animals that I don't in humans. I don't think humans make decisions, I think they just follow impulses and hormones like animals, but humans have evolved negatively imo.\n\nI feel like a different species to people sometimes, I don't understand why people talk so much, who gives a FUCK if your washing machine broke? who caaaaares about the traffic.\n\nI feel like I there are two versions of me. The real me, which is basically a shell. I have no interest yada yada mentioned above, and then the is the version of me I present to myself. I have gotten scarily good at pretending I have a personality, I can small talk well, flirt, and just generally get along with anyone, although that isn't me. My motivation behind having this other me is just so people don't judge me (I care more about what people think of me than i think of myself for some reason, I know it's wrong)\n\nI don't want a wife, I don't want kids, I don't care if my hair is messy, I don't wear nice clothes.\n\nPlease don't bother with the \"We can't diagnose you go see a psychiatrist\" that every sub has, I don't want a diagnosis, I just want to narrow down what I have. I'm not going to see a psychiatrist, and I want to beat or at least understand what I have without having to talk to someone.\n\nOh and any advice would help.\n\nI'll get these out of the way since they get suggested, a lot.\n\nI'm not addicted to weed, I've been mentally broken for about 6 years before I even used it.\n\nGoing for a walk isn't going to make me start feeling things again, It's just not. I walk my dogs every day and it does nothing for me besides letting me see my dog have fun.\n\nI don't need to get in shape, I don't need to socialize, because I don't want to. I have 0 desire for any of those things, I have tried both of those things, and they are not for me.\n\nThank you, if anyone read it all.", "post_id": "5kf3lq", "comment_id": "dbnin1t"}, {"question": "Promethease might be an accurate predictor of risk, but it might not; I don't know it. What's more important is that risk is not a diagnosis. The gold standard for detecting thyroid disease is blood tests, and while no test is 100% accurate there isn't anything better. It's reasonable to retest, but I would also caution that there is a vast amount of pseudoscientific/pseudomedical writing about thyroid disease. The blood tests are very accurate, and negative tests are strong indicators that your symptoms are due to something other than low thyroid function.", "comment": "28, female, 150lbs, history of severe depression, anxiety, extreme fatigue lately and other things that can be caused by thyroid issues such as sensitivity to cold, thinning male pattern hair... I got my AncestryDNA results finally and put them into Promethease. I have a handful of genes that say my risk for hypothyroidism and/or Graves disease is increased. A few years ago I did not flag anything on a thyroid blood test when I first started experiencing suicidal depression. Should I be reconsidering thyroid as an issue and is there a more reliable test than a simple blood test that I could ask about? Some googling has indicated that blood tests sometimes produce false negatives.", "post_id": "9irg6k", "comment_id": "e6lsqak"}, {"question": "If you have a diagnosis of ADHD, ask about specialized services for those with learning disorders. In California, we have community colleges with EOPS (Extended Opportunity Programs) where you receive additional assistance with the admissions process,registration,books etc. Not sure if that is also your state but absolutely ask about that. Community college can be very confusing as the student is expected to initiate the process. \n**Here is a link to EOPS for CA**\nhttp://extranet.cccco.edu/Divisions/StudentServices/EOPSCARE.aspx ", "comment": "  I have started a college application process a thousand times, have given up before, accidentally skipped steps, and deadlines etc etc. I barely graduated high school and didn't think/told by high school I have what it took to go to college and suggested trade school.\n  \nAt 20 they diagnosed me with  adhd -hyperactivity, I tried telling my parents as a kid but they said excuses excuses,   I have been taking meds like a year-ish.... \n I\n decided to do a last  college application to a local  community college. \n \n This time  I did complete all requirements, before deadlines, I took a placement test (because I stunk up a.c.t's) cramming a day before, and  scored decent  besides algebra, qualified to take accelerated courses  and have associates degree/transfer  in a year  (decided against this). I had a plan.\n \n Until they forgot to process me, literally.  I talked to counseling Monday she claimed  that \"I'd be able to register Tuesday\". I gave them 2 days. Then I stayed up all last night trying to thinking maybe I didn't do a part correctly but continously  denied  \"system error you don't have student credentials.\" I called and they said they didn't process me, I had to hold and they did it then, pretty much they forgot...  I have to wait a hour before I am supposably able to register, it hasnt passed yet but I have doubts. They tried bumping my start date to 2018 a couple weeks after I applied too. \n\nYes they are a legitimate school,  accredited and all. Shockingly and classes begin Sunday.\n\n   I know this isn't necessarily adhd related but I am irritated and had to vent, granted I am a little last second too. But I work summers and they don't start to do testing until July. I think I am going to jump start a January semester university application to be safe. \n\n\n\nUPDATE : I decided to go to a different campus,  they looked and said that guidance didn't clear it and said I talked to them, to accept to that program. I tried there and reception sucked, low and behold at home I continue to be denied classes.  They are calling today and I and praying I can do it yet, today absolutely last day.", "post_id": "6vrkvb", "comment_id": "dm32eu5"}, {"question": "Stick with taking it like prescribed. No need to chance a seizure, plus it will be better than the withdrawals. Librium does make you feel drowsy and fucks with your coordination too, so I wouldn\u2019t try to do too much. Hang in there, you\u2019ll get through it. The other side will be that much sweeter once you break through", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "j6tcnq", "comment_id": "g810fjv"}, {"question": "What I am reading is that you are experiencing very distressing intrusive thoughts about doing something that seems detached from your character,  and you have no plan or intent to ever act on this.   Does this seem right?\n\nIf so, I don't think your online search for answers is very helpful , and I'm concerned it is leading you down an unhelpful rabbit hole.\n\nIf you can access this article,  though it explains more clearly the implications of age based attraction:\n\r\nSeto, M. C. (2017). The puzzle of male chronophilias. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(1), 3-22. \n\nIf what I wrote in the first paragraph of this response feels right to you , you are going to want to work with an experienced practitioner with strong,  wise discernment in reporting abuse concerns.  From what you wrote,  no actual abuse has occurred. Unfortunately,  many people do not seek help because they are so worried they will get in legal trouble.  Thoughts aren't illegal , of course.  \n\nEven if you have committed no offense , an experienced sex offense or violence treatment program can probably make a good referral for working on your intrusive violent thoughts. \n\nGood luck,  it is a great sign that you want to get these intrusive thoughts under control asap.", "comment": "I am a (40M) and my wife is also (39F),we have one kid who is (15F).\n\nI have been feeling this for about 2 years now, it started with dreams about doing unsolicited things to my daughter, these usually wiped from my memory after about two hours after waking up. But recently it's been happening often and the content of these disturbing dreams is getting more and more unon consensual and violent.I feel very guilty because always I seem to know that it's my daughter that I'm dreaming about but I can't seem to stop the fantasy until i wake up.\n\nI am married and my we fulfill each other's needs.i grew up masturbating to films with rape scenes, and I think Its stuck in me now. I feel so guilty because not only am I a rapist, but my daughter is also very small.I haven't been able to look my wife in the eyes and I think she notices I'm being dodgy and very self aware[wrong word, but I am very conscious when my girl is in the room].I am scared if she confronts me,I don't know if she will see me the same way again.\n\nI read on another forum that it's a normal human complex for teenage boys to have sexual feelings for their mother, but could not find anything on fathers to their daughters.if anyone asks,I am NOT a paedophile[hopefully]. But recently,I have started finding my daughter and her friends attractive (or a better way to say it is I have started being \"aware' of how attractive they are. I haven't felt this sort of attraction to 12-19 year old girls in my life and I feel so guilty. And I WILL ASSURE YOU, I am not capable of violence, so do not worry that I won't control my urges. Because I know someone will start threatening to report me to the authorities when I haven't done anything wrong\n\nI can't see my daughter the same way again, I hoped things would go back to normal and id forget about these dreams, but it's been getting worse.and not just in a weird/alien fantasy way, after having repeated dreams of rape,I can't look her in the eyes and I always start unintentionally picturing her naked. It's unbearable after this quarantine where we have to be in the same house at one time for weeks, this never happens because she's got her school and i gob to work and I eat and basically live at work, so I only see her once a day when I return . When we went to the beach last year, my chest felt so heavy because my daughter was in a swimsuit and I felt so \"low\"\n\nComing to the point of the post: how do I test the waters before telling my wife this? She is American brought up, and they have a very strong, no tolerance attitude towards violence, ESPECIALLY involving minors. Should I keep it a secret because some things are better unspoken of? I am so afraid she won't see me the same again, I've never felt such a distance between us. is there a way to tell her the way I feel towards her (daughter) and her friends and generally her age group? I think it's very unlikely, but I feel terrified that she will take measures to keep my own daughter away from me and possibly even move out. In the 18 years we've been together, I have never felt like this.\n\nIs this normal for people my age?I did a lot of research on paedophilia and it says most experienced sexual abuse at a young age, which I have not. For others who have experienced this, does it go back to normal so I don't feel aroused (disgusting, I know) when my girl sits on my lap? Am I or could I be a danger to children(even though I know I wouldn't hurt a fly)?\n\nPlease, please consider my point of view. I know I'm a disgusting person, but please be rational and fair [which doesn't mean say it's okay, but to give a fair advice on how to approach my wife and unfortunately daughter about this]. Thank you for your time\n\nTl:dr: started having sexual dreams about my 15 year old daughter starting from when she hit puberty around 12-13, went from Dreams to fantasizing when awake, feel guilty and try to keep it a secret from family,wife noticed something off about me because I am dodgy, need help to talk[or not to] with my wife and daughter", "post_id": "g3my16", "comment_id": "fnsly15"}, {"question": "Im pretty much your height and it hasn't affected what I wanted to do in life and it doesn't bother me one bit. Chill.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5zrcvs", "comment_id": "df0o0p8"}, {"question": "might mean she needs to think on it. give it 2-3 days and follow up", "comment": "So about 2 month ago I started talking to this girl and we started talking nonstop for about 3 weeks and tagging her in a unanimous amount of memes and all of sudden she stated she was sorry she was bad at messaging back which I think is BS, but still insisted to keep tagging her in memes. 1 week ago in the middle of the night I couldn't hold the thought anymore of writing a message to her to sincerely expressing my feelings towards her, so I did. I went on to explain how I had developed the feelings and everything else that falls in that category. Her reply back was \"I literally have no clue what to say, you left me speechless..\" I really been struggling to process this as if it is a green light or did she just brush me off? Can anyone help me out here? Thanks.. ", "post_id": "5t5arz", "comment_id": "ddk9bfm"}, {"question": "Depends if the cuff is the right size or not, and other lifestyle factors around the time (eg smoking just before). Can't say how accurate it is for you specifically.", "comment": "Was diagnosed with hypertension a few days ago, bp 160/109. Dr prescribed lisinopril (for mild hypertension) and asked me to purchase a cuff and log my BP for 3 weeks. My bp has always been a bit high at the dr (Ive never checked it outside of a drs office) so I decided to wait to take the meds until I checked my bp a few days without it. My arms are pretty chunky so I ordered a wrist cuff. The wrist cuff reads around 113/78. I followed the directions that came with the cuff but im worried about its accuracy and whether I should go ahead and take the medicine or not.", "post_id": "6rek58", "comment_id": "dl4iy7g"}, {"question": "you did the right thing. she can't be in a new rel. if not over the ex", "comment": "So i had a relationship with this girl for like 6 weeks. Before it was official she was the one chasing to the point it even got annoying (only in the beginning before i fell in love with her). After we made it official she suddenly stopped initiating and stuff. I was always the one texting her and asking to hang out. I asked her whatsupp yesterday and she said she wasnt over her ex yet.\n\nI knew she came from a relationship when i started dating her. I even think she broke up with her ex just to date me. We work at the same place and when after she broke up she let everyone in work know and thats where she started messaging me. But the point was it was a longdistant relationship, they didnt even see each other once even tho the had a relationship for like a year. I didnt really worry about it but i guess i shouldve have.\n\nI really think she still likes me and im afraid she will even come back. Was it good for me to break up? im afraid i might regret it, we really clicked well and had a lot in common. i started to really like her. And what should i do when she does come back?\n\n**tl;dr**: Broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she wasnt over her ex. i still like her. what to do when regrets comes or when she comes back to me?", "post_id": "6u04w0", "comment_id": "dloxgv7"}, {"question": "What do you mean by \"life support\" here? Usually, if you require machinery to keep you alive, you're in no condition to do anything of your own volition. You're also hooked up to monitors and you'll get attention very quickly if anything does go wrong.\n\nThere are a few exceptions where you might be awake and alert but dependent on machines, like ECMO, but they're rare and generally it's less unplugging machines and more unplugging your own blood supply and hemorrhaging.", "comment": "Without telling the nurse or doctors? Let\u2019s say I roll out of bed and pull it. How would they know? Especially if they only check on you once an hour.\nI am 21, 170lbs, 6ft, male. i don\u2019t smoke or drink.", "post_id": "9v73pa", "comment_id": "e99x6tk"}, {"question": "I can't speak for the guy who left you, but I can say that sometimes two people just aren't right for each other. It is horrible when it happens to you, I know. I've had my days of crying and not being able to eat. The good news is, there is always someone better suited for you out there! And, as your experience and self-esteem grows, breakups won't weigh so heavily on you. \n\nTake care of yourself! Do something to take your mind off of what happened. Talk to someone (family, friend, or therapist), and try to learn from the experience! ", "comment": "I'm so hurt and I can't stop crying. Every few hours I just burst out into hysterics.\n\nI don't understand how someone can just leave without a word, without an explanation, after I gave everything I had. They know how bad this hurts me... how can they not care? How can he just be fine leaving me after three years of him saying I helped him grow and mature, and that he cared for me and valued me, and that he knew I would always be in his life... how? ", "post_id": "3fin2n", "comment_id": "ctozxt7"}, {"question": "I'm not a pediatrician, but you have one. Talk to him or her.\n\nTake with a grain of salt, but here's what I make of it with no expertise: lymphocytes are slightly off by percentage but the count is okay, so I wouldn't worry much. The neutrophil count is also fine for a 7 month old, although the percentage is low; neutropenia is usually defined by the absolute neutrophil count, so I wouldn't worry about this either.\n\nThe most likely thing, I'd guess, is normal but relatively high counts for all the other cell types, with therefore a normal absolute neutrophil count that produces an unusually low percentage. The lymphocytes are part of it. It could be everything. In any case, for anything critical your pediatrician will call you; for anything else, it will wait. This may very well be a case where the doctor is completely unconcerned and doesn't think about how it looks to you, so call and ask.", "comment": "Today we went for a routine doctor check with our 7 month old daughter (weight 22.4 lbs - 10.16 KG and height 28.7inches - 73cm). She is a perfect child always smiling always full of energy never had any problems.\n\nDoctor ordered a CBC and we got the results in the evening with some concerning entries.\n\nThe sections that are flagged are:\n* Neutrophils percentage - 8% with recommended values between 15-55%\n* Neutrophils count - 0.76 thousand per uL - after reading online this indicates moderate neutropenia \n* Lymphocyte percentage 80.7 with recommended values between 40-70 (and FWIW 7.01 thousand per uL with recommendations between 4-12 - so count NORMAL but percentage off)\n\nWe got scared really bad really fast and we\u2019re trying to get a sense of how bad/serious the results are before we manage to get back to doctors to figure out next steps.\n\nI\u2019d like to ask for a general opinion and not specific questions but I have some of those as well in case it helps:\n\n1) How common is neutropenia in children less than a year\n2) How often is it related to serious issues?\n3) Given that she didn\u2019t have any fever and didn\u2019t have literally any problems up till now - what could be the cause of this?\n4) What could we expect as possible causes?\n5) What are the next recommended steps?\n\nThank you so much! \n", "post_id": "9a1mee", "comment_id": "e4s2hup"}, {"question": "Yes. 100% yes.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "chsle2", "comment_id": "euxooqx"}, {"question": "Hard to say without knowing you better, but my money is against schizophrenia and more towards your trauma history. Might be worthwhile seeing a psychologist? ", "comment": "I'm sorry if this is really long, I don't want it to be convoluted but I just need some advice on where I am right now. \n\n\nI'm twenty years old; I experienced some trauma growing up, I won't go in to too much detail but there was domestic violence in the home, one particularly intense event that meant we had to pick & leave the house overnight, and subsequent family & financial issues that had a big effect.\n\nI hear voices inside my head sometimes - they speak gibberish and say things that do and don't have anything to do with whats going on. Sometimes they're voices I recognise from life but there aren't any characters or anything. They don't tell me to hurt myself or others. It's strange, like my brain is tuning in to different people's conversations, almost. (in my mind, it's not auditory)\n\nOccasionally, I think I see things that aren't there - but it's never full blown hallucinations. It's like I think I see something, but when I double take I realise what is really there. I also have hypnogogic experiences (not very often though) in the night and when I'm waking up. There are a lot of intrusive thoughts and images too.\n\nI'm full of so much doubt that I really can't tell what these symptoms and problems really are. I don't know if I'm just getting anxiety over things that aren't really a big deal. \n\nIt was a big deal for me to realise how \"not right\" my life might've been, and a few trips to doctor's just invalidated things I was feeling. They didn't take me seriously. Although I also really struggle to be honest and confident in talking to people, so maybe I didn't really explain to them properly. \n\nI only really started to process and notice these things a year or two ago but I've been experiencing it since my early teens, although they have slowly gotten more noticeable.  (I also struggle with a lot of other aspects of depression, anxiety etc. just for context.)\n\n\nIs this schizophrenia? I'd be so grateful if anyone could shed some light on what I am experiencing. I really haven't found a lot about this kind of thing from the internet research I've done. I smoke weed medically and recreationally, and I know experiences were happening before I started. Is this just an impact of the cannabis? I know sharing this will change answers, but I genuinely use it in a medical way to deal with my other mental health issues and it's the most effective thing. Especially when Doctor's didn't offer me much help. \n\n\nI'd be so so grateful for any advice or comment though, I've felt pretty lost in this since I struggle to talk to anyone about it. I just want to know if I'm going to end up in a psychotic episode, and risk hurting myself or others.\n\n\n\nTL;DR - 20 year old trauma survivor hears voices, sees things sometimes, smokes weed. Should she worry?", "post_id": "76j5qd", "comment_id": "doefmvl"}, {"question": "I think you're the only one that can possibly know the answer to this or decide what to do.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gz6ija", "comment_id": "fteqmu9"}, {"question": "How quickly livers are affected varies significantly in individuals.", "comment": "I've only been drinking alcohol for \\~6 months, probably 15 drinks per week on average so I don't think there should be any way I have a serious liver issue yet, but I just wanted to get some opinions on swelling/bloating. I had more than usual 5 nights ago (not even a crazy amount, 5-6 drinks) and ever since then my liver has been swollen and is showing no signs of shrinking back to normal yet. A couple days ago I stopped by urgent care and the doctor said this swelling of the liver can happen after drinking and it will return to normal after a few days, and it is not a serious problem, but searching on the internet I haven't found anything to support this - everything I find seems to imply that the swelling means there is a bigger issue to worry about.  \nI'm probably just being overly paranoid considering the amount of drinking I've done is nothing compared to most people who get serious liver issues.  \nHas anyone else experienced this, is the doc right that it's probably nothing and will just recover in time?", "post_id": "by5y4x", "comment_id": "eqdt9zw"}, {"question": "I just read an article that spoke about this. Apparently when you go from hyper focus to something boring quite quickly, it changes the chemicals in your brain to cause fatigue. They don't really know how it works though.\n\nI have only just discovered my ADHD symptoms and so much of it blows my mind. I've been struggling with what I thought was fairly transient CFS for a few years now and it turns out it's this. Absolute madness.\n\nMy mother in law said to me a while ago \"do you think your sleep is a defence mechanism?\" She was trying to nicely say that when I'm uninterested I use being tired as an excuse. Unfortunately for me it isn't an excuse, it's an all encompassing full body exhaustion that I have to deal with on top of doing something I hate. It's nice to know I at least have a sort of explanation now.", "comment": "Has anyone noticed that when your disinterested in something you get just absolutely exhausted?   \nAs I looked at the long list of things to accomplish today I made breakfast only to be met with a pull to just go back to bed for a few more hours.   \n\nI've encountered this before. I tend to drink a cup of coffee and then not only does it help me focus but I again get more done, but I was doing some thinking about the last 10 years of my life, from 16-26, and I feel like I don't feel more tired than I used to. I get plenty of sleep but it seems like as soon as there's work to do I get exhausted but when I'm enjoying something I'm not tired anymore. This includes the times I feel super tired head to bed and all of a sudden am wide awake watching youtube and enjoying myself.   \n\nI have a few theories as to why this happens.   \n1) Hyper focus makes me ignore how tired I really am.\n\n2) Coffee is actually making me feel awake and focused not the work.\n\n3) ADHD is maybe hyper focusing on the only thing that is \"interesting\" which is dreaming and sleeping for me? Thoughts?   \n\n\nTL;DR: I'm tired all the time it seems. Looking for ideas as to why that might be? ", "post_id": "ak6tga", "comment_id": "ef4o5e1"}, {"question": ">I know my English is awful and I\u2019m sorry, it\u2019s not my native language.  \n  \nbwahahahaaaaa your english is fucking perfect man.  You will get in anywhere easily :)  \n  \nfinish your engineering degree and come on over.", "comment": "I am a 20 years old guy from Venezuela and I feel like my life is being wasted.\n\nOkay here it goes. I was born in a middle-class family in a town somewhere in the Venezuelan Andes. When I was born my father retired for some reason I never understood, my mother never had a job, even after that I had the chance to attend a private school. Time passed, when I was a child, I was basically forced to hear about politics a lot, even though at that age I never really understood anything about it (I\u2019m talking when I was 6 or 8). When I was a child, the economic situation wasn\u2019t as hard as it is now. I was a happy kid who never worried about nothing, only about getting good grades at school to make my parents proud, not because I really wanted it. I grew up as a guy with a really low self-esteem, I hated everything about my body and my personality.\n\nNow I\u2019m a 20 years old who feels like I\u2019ve never really lived my life, I\u2019m currently living rented in a room in another city, I study and I have a job that doesn\u2019t pay much. Why do I talk so much about the economic situation? Well, to no one is a secret that the government in Venezuela is not and was not the best, with all this \u201csocialism of the XXI century\u201d stuff and that Chavez adoration. I am a person who\u2019s never been on vacations to a nice place, the last time I was in a real \u201cvacation\u201d was probably when I was 12, since then all I\u2019ve done is study and live my sad and monotonous life.\n\nVenezuela is one of the most dangerous countries in the world, and I can confirm it. I\u2019ve been stabbed twice and shot once, mostly by thieves who tried to steal my stuff (like my cellphone or my wallet), and I have to live that everyday of my life, I can\u2019t stand the fact that I have to be scared if I leave my classes at 6pm because I know it\u2019ll be dark and it\u2019ll be dangerous for me so I\u2019ll have to put my phone inside my boxers just in case things get ugly because sadly I don\u2019t have the money to buy another one.\n\nOnly to buy a laptop I had to save money for over two years and a half, I don\u2019t want this for me. I feel like I\u2019m being consumed here with no possibilities of getting out. Everytime I check the tv or the news and I see anything government related I just get sick because I know it\u2019ll be something bad for the people who really wants to get out of here.\n\nEverytime I talk to my father, all he talks about is how hard is now to get a roll of toilet paper or milk, that he has to make huge queues to buy a pack of flour and sometimes he gets so happy when he gets the chance to buy 2 liters of milk, I mean...how low can our standards get that we get happy for stuff that used to be easy to get before?\n\nEverytime I talk to my mother, she starts crying because she says I don\u2019t deserve to live what I live, that I deserve to live in a better place where I don\u2019t have to risk my life everytime I\u2019m outside, yesterday I was in my faculty and some hooded men called \u201cTupamaros\u201d (Government supporters) started throwing tear gas bombs everywhere to close the faculty because they want vacations already (some of them are actually students). Of course I didn\u2019t tell this to my mom or she\u2019d freak out.\n\nI forgot to mention that I\u2019m an engineering student, I\u2019m studying hard to become an engineer as soon as possible so I can get out of here because I literally cannot stand this anymore, every night I start crying until I fall asleep, I don\u2019t know how I haven\u2019t lost my motivation for study yet.\n\nWith my studies and my job, I\u2019m a really busy person, so\u2026I actually have now what you would call a long distance relationship, yes, with a girl I\u2019ve never seen in my life. She\u2019s from a country in Europe that I won\u2019t name. She says she\u2019s deeply in love with me, and somehow I feel like I am too. I don\u2019t have the time to have a real girlfriend, and to be honest\u2026why did I choose to have a relationship with a girl like this? Not gonna lie, she\u2019s a very cute girl and I\u2019m fascinated by her, but at the same time, somehow\u2026she represents the future I want for myself, I want to live in a country where I can be outside after 6pm and not be scared, I want to live in a country where I can find the food of all the brands I want, I want to live in a country with a stable job and a decent purchasing power where I don\u2019t have to save money for years to buy a miserable laptop or where the thought of buying clothes is something unthinkable, I want to live in a country where I\u2019m not limited to have $400 per year for a fucking exchange control. But more than that, I want experiences, I want to travel, I want to live life\u2026but sadly, that\u2019s something impossible at the moment.\n\nI know my English is awful and I\u2019m sorry, it\u2019s not my native language.\n", "post_id": "1s77uu", "comment_id": "cduvah0"}, {"question": "Don't worry about the cookies. In time it will pass, just keep focused on why you're working so hard for this. Good damn job buddy. ", "comment": "Usually that would mean I'm already half way to the bottom of a bottle of wine . Tonight it means I'm half way to the bottom of a bag of cookies. \n\nTonight everyone in my household went to bed early which is my ideal time to binge.  I wanted to but I made a few calls, took the dog out, and did some cooking instead.\n\nIt worked but i still wanted something bad for me. I'm on day 13 and have been slamming junk food almost daily. Just a temporary stand in for the alcohol.  I see other people here saying how the pounds flew off when they quit. Somehow I don't think that will happen for me!", "post_id": "3t9b4j", "comment_id": "cx48pah"}, {"question": "Most communities have autism resources.  It may be a message board or another kind of support group.  I would post a message in/get in touch with one of these asking about reputable psychologists in your area that deals with autism/asperger's.  If you can't find anything like that, you could result to calling at least a few local psychologists asking for the name of someone who deals with asperger's/autism.", "comment": "I feel really awkward calling it a diagnosis but I thought that would cover what I meant.\n\nI had a bad couple of years at the start of secondary school( got into a couple fights, bullied quite a lot, etc.) and I spent some time with my school's learning support. The word autistic was bounced around a couple times then everything got a lot better from about year 9 onwards and it didn't really come up again. I wasn't sure if it was recorded until recently one of my teachers had his mark system on the board and I saw that next to my name it said \"autism\" under the special needs section.\n\nA couple of the things I do and say make me think that I'm mildly autistic but I've never done tests( are there tests for autism?) to see whether I am or not. I don't feel that it affects my life in any serious way as I'm happy, confident and okay at handling social situations. However, I want to be more aware of where I stand on the autistic spectrum and how this might affect me and others.", "post_id": "wqbos", "comment_id": "c5fjm8x"}, {"question": "Therapist here.  So here's the thing with anxiety in general and social anxiety.  Everyone has it.  It's a normal part of life.  You, me, and everyone else will have anxiety until the day we die, so to this extent, you won't ever \"get over it\".  \n\n\nNow.... for some good news.  Some people are born to be more sensitive and anxious than others.  Some people are conditioned that way.  Your anxiety will never go away, but you can become stronger and braver.  \n\n\nBravery is doing the things that make you anxious even though you have the anxiety.  The more you practice this, the better you get.  Over time, the anxiety is still there, but just doesn't bother you as much.  It takes a lot of will power and work to do this though.  Therapy can be very helpful.  \n\n\nSpeaking personally, I can say that I absolutely hated high school.  I was depressed, anxious, and went through some crazy mood swings.  When I moved away out of my parents house and my hometown at 17 to go live on campus where I went to college it was an entirely different world.  Once again, the anxiety, the mood swings, everything else was still there, but being in the college environment helped give me the tools I needed to get stronger and face all of it.  \n\n\nI'm 32.  I still have a ton of anxiety.  It sucks when it really hits me, feels fucking terrible, but overall, it doesn't keep me from doing things or living my best life the way it did when I was younger.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "bbmtg6", "comment_id": "ekjvsqq"}, {"question": "Clinical psych student checking in - most often, *chronic* use (of pretty much any substance) is the result of a disorder that was already present. In other words, you likely ended up using because you had feelings of anxiety or depression from something else.", "comment": "I am not trying to deny myself the possibility that I might suffer from depression aside from my marijuana use, but I am wondering if anyone here has ever, while being a chronic user, believed that they suffered from depression or anxiety until they quit weed? \n\nLike I'm wondering anyone has ever thought they had depressions but it was really just the effect of cannabis on their brain?", "post_id": "f0vwm5", "comment_id": "fh1r57p"}, {"question": "(Note: I am a therapist but I am not YOUR therapist and this is not expert advice, just my opinion. I am also in the US.)\n\nIf I think that it is an issue, I sometimes explain to my clients how very unlikely it is that I would involuntarily hospitalize them. I feel uncomfortable explaining GENERAL guidelines on the internet in case folks are seeing a therapist whose clinical judgement is different than mine. But I do think folks sometimes think suicidal thoughts are MUCH rarer than they are or that the consequences of talking about them are MUCH higher. Like, 90% of clients have passive suicidal ideation without plan or intent (I made that stat up). \n\nBut in settings I have worked in, involuntary hospitalization looks like: plan AND intent with no desire to safety plan. E.g. I am going to kill myself tonight. I bought a bunch of sleeping pills for this purpose. No, I won't call a friend and have the friend come get the pills.", "comment": "I just feel bad for lying to my therapist sometimes when she asks me about suicidal thoughts", "post_id": "eqouoe", "comment_id": "feyv3x9"}, {"question": "[How to make eye contact](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/how-to-make-eye-contact)", "comment": "Whenever I talk with a stranger, I'm hesitant to make eye contact because I feel like I'm giving them a death stare and making them feel uncomfortable. How do I prevent staring at someone the wrong way?", "post_id": "17up8y", "comment_id": "c894tpo"}, {"question": "I'm interested. ", "comment": "We are a Harvard University research team currently working on a study looking at people who harm themselves. The primary goal of the study is to better understand what kinds of thoughts and feelings motivate these behaviors.  \n\nWe are interested in recruiting people who use this website and have attempted suicide in the past to participate in our research study. Participation is completely voluntary.  \n\nIf you are interested in participating, you will complete an online screener to see if you qualify to participate. If you qualify, you will complete a variety of questionnaires online. The study will take place online over the course of 4 months and you will be compensated up to $350 in online gift cards to Amazon.  \n\nA few important things to know about the study are:  \n \n*\tThe study includes questions and images regarding self-harm and other unpleasant images. **Some people may feel that these images are disturbing and may find them to be triggering.**  \n*\tAll information collected will be kept confidential.   \n*\tParticipation is completely voluntary.   \n*\tThe link we provide will send you to a website telling you about the study. Once on that site, you can decide whether or not you want to participate.   \n*\tIf you start to participate and decide you no longer feel comfortable or you are no longer interested, you can end it without any penalty or punishment.  \n*\tWe will provide links to treatment resources throughout the study.   \n*\tThis study will include only participants who are 18 years and older.  \n*\tIf you participated in the Harvard TEC Study, you cannot participate in this study.    \n\nPlease send us a private message if you are interested in participating. To maintain anonymity, please do not respond directly to the post. Once you contact us, we will send you a link to the screening questionnaire to see if you qualify and to tell you more about the study.   \n\nThank you for your consideration!\n", "post_id": "2orlzg", "comment_id": "cmr92y3"}, {"question": "Well, I wrote the [Improve Your Social Skills](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com) guide and I hope that it would be pretty much what you're looking for :)", "comment": "My most basic social skills have been getting worse and worse over the past year. Simple things like meeting someone for the first time, or how to say \"bye\", are becoming more difficult for me. A lot of times I don't know what to say next in a conversation, so I try to find a way out of it quick, which in turn makes me come off as an asshole.\n\nI need to find resources that will specifically help me on what to do (none of this \"be more confident\" crap). For example, explicitly tell me what face to make when someone is telling me something unfortunate that has happened in their day- stuff like that. I think this is more helpful for those of us who have it real bad.\n\nBest books, sites, videos, etc?", "post_id": "1xn925", "comment_id": "cfd7yig"}, {"question": "\"Want to grab coffee after finals?\"", "comment": "Hello all, I'm currently in college. I've been very focused on my career and had no interest in girls for a while.\nAbout a month ago, I saw some girl in pottery class working on her pottery. I found her to be strikingly pretty. I meant to stay in the pottery class for 5 minutes and leave but ended up sticking around for 30 minutes when I did not need to be there. I ended up making a flat clay where I basically carved \"Just wanted to tell you that you are *really* pretty.\" I put it next to one of her pots when she left the spot for a second and left.\nMy intention, as a student who's very focused on his career, was to just let her know that she is very pretty, nothing more. I didn't think myself good enough for her anyway.\nAnd then I saw her here and there - I don't think she knew it was me. And then my brain was telling me I shouldn't do this, but I ended up writing a note saying that I think that she is very pretty with my phone number. I went up to her and gave her the note and left.\nI got a text message with her thanking me today.\n\nHere's the problem:\n1) Our final exams are in 4 days, so I can't see myself asking her out.\n2) Finals in 4 days means summer is right around the corner.\n3) I unfortunately lack confidence. I do not know what to text her. Long response about my honest feelings/very short response?\n\nThank you all", "post_id": "694p3b", "comment_id": "dh3qdl8"}, {"question": "Well all of the sweetners have a catch. Erythritol (swerve) can cause stomach upset in surprisingly small amounts (for me anyway). Stevia and Splenda have off-putting after tastes. The consensus seems to be a combination of sweetners to minimize their negatives and maximize their collective positives. I have a premade mix of all three and some inositol powder, which is half as sweet as sugar and a supplement that is good for PCOS. \n\nTo make artificially sweetened dishes palatable I've found they need to have a good amount of fat to not suck. I've found that puddings, cream pies, and cheesecake come out best. Almond crusts are okay replacements. ", "comment": "Hi all,\n\nLooking for suggestions on which sugar or sugar substitute to use while baking a pie. My mother is making an apple pie and wants to try and make it as good for me as possible so I can actually have a slice. \n\n:) thanks in advance ", "post_id": "54xgq3", "comment_id": "d87uvx7"}, {"question": "A bunch of what u/rncookiemaker said is wrong.\n\nTSH is produced by the pituitary, not the thyroid, and is the signal to the thyroid to produce thyroid hormone (T3 and T4). If your thyroid doesn't work, your pituitary produces more and more TSH to try to get enough thyroid hormone and it doesn't work, hence the elevated TSH in hypothyroidism.\n\nHypothyroidism is much more common in women than men, but much more doesn't mean it's anywhere close to unheard-of in men. \n\nA high TSH is not sufficient for a diagnosis of hypothyroidism. For that you also need a doctor to check thyroid hormones directly, but it's worth doing, because one thing that other posters have gotten right is that untreated hypothyroidism feels terrible and can be very dangerous. You would need to discuss with a doctor exactly what thyroid hormone you have been taking in the past and how long ago you took it.", "comment": "Age: 24\n\nGender: Male\n\nRace: Indian\n\nDiagnosed with thyroid problem at least 10 years back.\n\n I am not regular on medication because I don't feel like I'm sick, so I take medicines for 3 months and stop them for 6-9 months and then start again. I am the only guy whom I know has thyroid problem and apparently more than 90% of the health related websites I visited didn't mentioned anything about guys having  thyroid!", "post_id": "c8jl6l", "comment_id": "esnmrnb"}, {"question": "Are the hands cold? Are the entire hands numb? Tingling?", "comment": "Age 23F\n\nSex F\n\nHeight 5'10\"\n\nWeight 120lbs\n\nRace White\n\nDuration of complaint 6 hours\n\nLocation usa\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues no\n\nCurrent medications birth control\n\n\nBackground: I usually don't have a period because I take birth control. I ran out and wast able to take my pill for two days and so I started bleeding yesterday with some normal cramping. I got my pill and took it yesterday like normal. I'm 23, 5'10\", 120lbs.\n\nLast night I was woken up around 3am by extreme cramps that have been making me bend over in pain and cry and almost throw up and I'm still experiencing them now at 9am. However at around 4am both of my hands and arms started to feel numb and now my hands are still numb 5 hours later. As far as the cramps go I think I have endometriosis but I've never been tested for it. Can an ultrasound do that? With the hands part, I've never had this happen before and I'm wondering if I should go to a walk in clinic?", "post_id": "j66gwp", "comment_id": "g7wmx6m"}, {"question": "I have 3,one is a song lyric that to me represents both the passion and the emptiness of bpd. Damien rice 'no love no glory' \n\nI have an olive branch on my back that represents pacifism, because I need that to drive through my reactivity at all costs. \n\nAnd I have a large tattoo of an anime princess mononoke because I fucking love that movie and it means so much to me about balance and nature ", "comment": "I've read that tattoos are common in people with BPD. I've always wanted one (or multiple) but I don't have any, and I have a reason: I want a tattoo that feels like me. But \"me\" is just an empty blob of nothingness. Surface personality traits and likes/hobbies are all either ever-changing or flat out fake, and beneath that there's just... nothing. Even the few ideas I have for tattoos I'm reluctant to get because I'm worried that I'll do a complete 180 and then I'll regret it, since it's no longer something that I care about or like. \n\nDoes anyone else feel that way? If you do have tattoos, how did you pick them? If you don't, why not?", "post_id": "6jtw4j", "comment_id": "djgz1c8"}, {"question": "I went to my first AA meeting on October 27, 1978 and met a guy who said, \u201clook you are an expert at getting drunk and high, we are experts at staying sober and there are all different kinds of people here. If you want to stop drinking you\u2019re in the right place. We stay sober by helping each other stay sober.\u201d He gave me his phone number and said \u201ccall me if you feel like drinking and I\u2019ll try to talk you out of it.\u201d I went home and my girlfriend, who told me to go to AA still did not want me to sleep with her. I felt terrible because I had not gone to sleep sober for years. After tossing and turning I called that guy at 1:30 in the morning and told him I was thinking of going to the bar down the street so I could get some sleep. He kept me on the phone until 2am and said look the bars are closed let\u2019s meet at the meeting tomorrow. I fell a sleep and the next day I went to he meeting and I\u2019ve been sober ever since. I still go to meetings a few times a week and I\u2019m still able to think that the people there are special and are doing something wonderful.", "comment": "Thank you infinitely to the people here who told me to go to AA.  I was scared to go because of my social anxiety.  I was also afraid they would just tell me I need Christianity.  I am so thankful I listened to you and went.  The people there have been nothing but accepting of my queer drunk ass.  Since I started going 54 days ago I have finally been able to stay sober and learn about why I feel the need to drink in the first place.\n\nMy fear of social situations is big part of my drinking.  Attending these meetings has taught me that isolation is my enemy and will drive me to drink.  I could not have kept myself from drinking this long by myself.  And I know I will not be able to keep sober alone.\n\nThank you for being here when I needed you.  Thank you for helping me.  I will not drink with you today.", "post_id": "96lqv8", "comment_id": "e421tb5"}, {"question": "I just finished a book by the research psychologist Roy Baumiester, titled \u201cthe power of bad\u201d.  In it he recommends using over the counter pain reliever for emotional pain. I found that a combination of ibuprofen and Tylenol really helps. I take two Tylenol with 600mg of Advil and it diminishes the pain of my girlfriend breaking up with me and my son\u2019s serious mental illness. I also am reaching out to loved ones for their support. By speaking of my pain, I disidentify with it. It\u2019s more like a broken leg, something I have rather than who I am.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "k2z9aq", "comment_id": "ge08cq9"}, {"question": "You can have a fever without inflammation and you can have localized inflammation without a fever. It's helpful if you provide more information about what makes you concerned.", "comment": "23 female 140lbs denver co, would a ct scan show inflammation of the brain or just if there are masses? Does inflammation always mean you have a fever?", "post_id": "8tta6b", "comment_id": "e1a4nw4"}, {"question": "If you aren't growing your stagnating or dying. And both are bad", "comment": "This is coming right off the back of a meeting I just had with some social services type people about getting me into the workforce, so I'm still pretty chaffed about it.\n\nThe phrase \"meeting challenges head-on\" was used, in the context of me getting the support or framework necessary in order for me to do so.\n\nI just got kind of pissed and started thinking about why we're expected to do things that are hard.  I HATE doing things that challenge me, and that don't flow relatively easily.  In most cases, I'll still do them, but I don't get any feeling of satisfaction afterwards where I can big myself up and say well done.  I'm just glad it's fucking over and never want to do it again.  And kind of wish I hadn't in the first place.\n\nI understand self-improvement and development, etc., but it seems like it isn't acceptable to say no, I like my mediocrity just fine, thankyouverymuch.  Always striving for higher and further in the past has left me with a shit tonne of issues now, so I have zero desire to go down the path of challenges and rewards again.\n\nI'd much rather just stay with the status quo and coast along, without rocking the boat. Is it so wrong to want an easy life, when things are so hard to begin with?\n\n[TL;DR](http://imgur.com/3W6D1F8)", "post_id": "6e0qu1", "comment_id": "di6ug8p"}, {"question": "I remember that hey aren\u2019t in my head and can\u2019t possibly diagnose me from inside their own biased worlds. I also wonder what makes them so threatened by me having depression that they can\u2019t accept it. The.m I  think about if they are really and truly valuable in my life and if they are they should want to understand, help, and support me. ", "comment": "My therapist recently told me to be more open with my anxiety and depression as he thinks desperately hiding it makes it worse. I've not been shouting it from the rooftops but I have tried being more open with friends, family and colleagues and I can't believe the negative responses that I've received, mostly about the depression part of it. From people saying 'everyone thinks they're depressed nowadays' to 'what have you even got to be depressed about?!' I can't believe how many self styled experts there are out there.", "post_id": "7p6wbc", "comment_id": "dsf0553"}, {"question": "This isn't really an r/askdocs question, tbh.\n\nAnyway, theres absolutely no harm in using antidepressants in an evidence based way. All this zombifying BS is stupid - if one antidepressant doesn't suit you, theres plenty alternatives.\n\n(I haven't created one zombie yet)", "comment": "A 19 year old friend of mine suffers from a special type of migraines for 10 years now, (called \u201cDeformed migraine\u201d by her latest neurologist, couldn\u2019t find any results on google for the term) which causes shorter but more frequent attacks instead of the usual long but rare ones. (about 2 hours per attack, 5 times a week, one longer attack here and there). Last medication she used was Relpax (eletriptan) which she had to quit because of sudden nose bleeding. Her most recent neurologist prescribed Cymbalta (duloxetine) which is an antidepressant that is said to help migraines too. The doctor was initially going to prescribe an epilepsy medicine, but said the patient was \u201ctoo young\u201d and should take Cymbalta instead. \n\nThe problem is, she doesn\u2019t want to take an antidepressant fearing that it might mess up her mental health and \u201czombify\u201d her, so to speak. There are also many people who experienced severe withdrawal effects and we can\u2019t decide if a commitment like this would be worth it. \n\nWhat is your opinion on taking Cymbalta just to fight migraine? Do you have any stories from people around you who tried them? Are we unnecessarily exaggerating and fearing antidepressants too much? \n\nThank you for your time in advance.\n", "post_id": "68agpg", "comment_id": "dgx1t33"}, {"question": "Hi \n\nI definitely suggest going back to your physician to develop a plan. A combination of physical and  psychological issues could be the cause . Because there is a physical component , it is important to start there.\n\nIf a patient came to me to deal with the psychological aspect,  I would insist on coordinating with a physician,  or at least reviewing records, to fully understand the extend of the medical condition.  \n\nAnother reason to discuss this with your physician is because your doctor may be able to recommend an experienced therapist in this area.\n\nGood luck .", "comment": "I have been doing a lot of research on this topic, and I cannot seem to find anything relevant, but I think I have an elimination disorder that was never treated. Is this even possible?\n\n  \nI have had these issues since I was about 10 years old, but it was relatively infrequent (enough to cause stress for me, but I hid it often from my family who was always working).  I have always had urgency issues and I the only thing that makes me think that there is an elimination disorder is because I would also get very upset and void in my closet also, which wasn't an accident unlike the other instances.  These issues progressively worsened into high school (urgency/not making it and also dealing with anger/negative emotions that way occasionally) and have become out of control as an adult (obviously just urgency/not making it now).  I have been to a doctor, and I also worked with a counselor who suggested these issues stemmed from psychological problems (I have had psychological problems since before grade school that my family ignored until adolescence).  I have been managing it by myself, but it is still hard to deal with and does inhibit my day-to-day functioning.\n\n  \nI have been to a doctor, who gave me a diagnosis suggested medication (I waited until I was over 18 due to confidentiality) and I also worked with a counselor who suggested these issues stemmed from psychological problems (I have had psychological problems since before grade school that my family ignored until adolescence).  I have been managing it by myself, but it is still hard to deal with and does inhibit my day-to-day functioning.  I would like to treat this to feel better, but as I am not sure what the cause is, thus I am not sure if I should address this medically or in therapy.\n\n​\n\nThanks for the feedback, like I said, I haven't been able to find literature on this in adulthood, so I figured I would give it a shot here.", "post_id": "fvnimz", "comment_id": "fmmudha"}, {"question": "You're very unlikely to be schizophrenic (due to age of onset, symptoms, intact insight) - but it still sounds problematic and id definitely seek some medical advice about it (either via PCP/GP, or directly to neurology or psychiatry depending on what you feel is most relevant).", "comment": "Health info:\n\n- 28\n- Male\n- 6'1\"/280lbs\n- Primarily caucasian/USA\n- 6 months to a year of worsening symptoms\n- Mental, heh\n- GERD and GAD\n- Omeprazole, buspar, NSAIDs\n\nComplaint:\n\nI have seen and heard things my entire life, though not to a disruptive or detrimental extent. Shapes in my peripheral vision, primarily. Floating spots of varying colors. I have heard voices maybe three or four times in my life, and it's entirely possible it was due to the lingering effects of recreational drugs. (Hx: marijuana, LSD, cocaine. Several years since last use of any). Over the last year, my hallucinations seem to be getting worse. The random shapes I used to see in my periphery now look more like people, or monsters, and they're always looking at me. Usually they are gone in an instant, but I was cooking in my kitchen the other day and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was this thing crouched on the arm of the couch staring at me. Here's the thing though: I **know**, beyond any shred of doubt, that there is nothing there, there is nothing really looking at me, but it's like my mind has started to take these random shapes and force logic from them, and they end up turned into living things the way that a poncho hanging on a coat rack can seem like the shape of a man in a dimly lit room. You **know** it's not, there's nobody there, but damn if your mind doesn't turn the shape into something.\n\nSo, even knowing that there wasn't anything really there on the couch looking at me, I still felt anxious until I finally actually looked over at the spot where I had seen it in my periphery and \"dispelled\" it. \n\nThe thing is, my maternal aunt is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and I'm worried that these symptoms in me are the beginning of something worse. Could it just be my anxiety and my mind playing tricks on me? Sure, I'd give that the benefit of the doubt, especially seeing that I have GAD and it has progressively gotten worse in some ways over the last five years. Could it be side effects of the Buspar I'm taking? I'm not sure, maybe one of you could chime in on that?\n\nI guess I'm just worried and don't know what to do. I don't want to build this up in my head and end up on medication that I don't need, but the thought of losing my mind is terrifying. I haven't told anyone in my life this.", "post_id": "5fhu4j", "comment_id": "dakg7fb"}, {"question": "Also please  try to get help for you and your friend. You don\u2019t have to live unhappy. ", "comment": "when me and my friend did a blood compact, it was her first time cutting herself... and I basically forced her into it. ", "post_id": "7jrv0i", "comment_id": "dr8yehl"}, {"question": "No chest pain is normal. Youve basically given yourself an exercise tolerance test, and failed.\n\nGo see a doctor.", "comment": "24, male, 6'3, 405 pounds, and white. I went for a walk today and decided to some light jogging for at least 2 minutes. After I did this though I was out of breath in pain in my chest and top of my head. It has subsided since then but I am worried if there is something wrong with me or is this normal and expected for an obese person exercising", "post_id": "5fydhn", "comment_id": "dao0d9t"}, {"question": "if you want a ltr, then go slowly sexually when you meet someone you like.  that way, you both have a chance to build substance and depth without being blinded my raw passion and biological drive.  if you've talked lots and gone on dates for a month or so, then initiate a discussion about your respective feelings.  if you both feel the same way, and want the same thing [an ltr], then you're at a pretty good starting point .", "comment": "I'm a [23M] and I'm wondering how to make a lasting relationship. My longest relationship was a year and a half. I've had many FWBs and dates, but I want something serious for the long term, what advice can anyone give me? ", "post_id": "5wklm5", "comment_id": "deat2uo"}, {"question": "You don\u2019t need to drink pure water. Just about any fluid will do, including coffee. A high BUN in isolation probably isn\u2019t meaningful unless it\u2019s extremely high; the ratio is mostly used for assessing kidney injury, which it doesn\u2019t sound like you have.\n\nThe CO2 in a CBC is actually bicarbonate, and it has a somewhat complex relationship with blood pH and level of dissolved carbon dioxide. But yours is so minimally elevated that it likely means nothing.", "comment": "Age: 33\nSex: M\nHeight: 5'7\"\nWeight: 130lbs\nRace: Caucasian\nDuration of complaint: a few months\nLocation: headache/dizzy\nAny existing relevant medical issues: restrictive lung disease\nCurrent medications: Cartia XT 120mg\n\n\nI have realized lately that I have a serious problem when it comes to drinking water. When I wake up the first thing I drink is coffee, and then often times I barely have more than a few sips of water today. My doctor ran blood labs and my BUN level is at the high end of normal, and the Creatinine level is normal, but then the overall ratio is a bit higher than normal. Also my CO2 levels listed on the CBC are a bit higher than normal (33 when the high end normal is listed at 30). I do have a lung disease but normally my CO2 levels are on the higher end of normal, instead of outside the range. I realize I may just need an adjustment of the ventilator I use at night. But I was wondering, can dehydration cause elevated CO2 levels due to blood flow not being good or the body working harder than normal?", "post_id": "cyf500", "comment_id": "eyrt0t0"}, {"question": "Therapy. Medications. Finding sources of happiness in your own life so you don't tail off into despair. ", "comment": "In arguments with my husband, I tend to push him away. I rarely feel good enough for him so I try to convince him to move on.  He always fight for me, though, and end up holding me and promising we'll be okay and so will I. It's gotten to the point that he's done bc I won't fight for him the same way he does for me. I want to so bad. I want him to know I do. But I can't show it bc of thoughts. They yell at me that I'm holding him back. \n\nWe've gone a break now so I can find myself again. How do I fight for him? How do I make myself better?", "post_id": "6ar6ha", "comment_id": "dhgq04z"}, {"question": "Never do anything you don't want to do. Never ask someone to do something they are not comfortable doing. If one can't abide by those basic moral precepts, you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.", "comment": "I need advice. Both relationship advice and bedroom advice. I'm just going to cut to the chase, and all my problems are sexual so there's your warning.\n\nWhen I met my current boyfriend of 6 years, I had a high libido and so did he. Sometimes I would want more sex than him which is *so surprising* to me now given how our sex life has turned out. Nowadays: I pretty much could go without sex for a month or more and be fine. I still like giving blowjobs so we'll do that every other day or so (and I'll get myself off after), but when he wants actual sex I can rarely will myself to get in the mood for that; and here's why:\n\nI hate anal sex. Just absolutely hate it to my core. I get no pleasure from it, other than a mild satisfaction that I'm making my partner happy, but it does absolutely nothing for me sexually. My problem is: my boyfriend doesn't care that I hate it. It's his main focus in the bedroom no matter what I say or do. If I tell him it turns me off when he tries to stick it in when we're having vaginal sex he'll act like it's no big deal, and it's a turn on for him, and if I want him to stay hard then I should just let him do it. But for me it's a bucket of ice water cause it takes me out of the moment and brings me back to the reality that my boyfriend *really* doesn't care about my sexual pleasure. It's so frustrating. And depressing.\n\nThe first year we were together we were super compatible sexually. I could get off multiple times per sex session and he'd get off just fine orally or vaginally so I had no clue that there was something wrong. He mentioned that he was into buttstuff and I told him that it wasn't my cup of tea, but I'd give him double the blowjobs to make up for it. It seemed to not matter for a while but 3 years or so into the relationship it became a big deal. The only compliments I was receiving were about my butt and how he wanted to fuck it. And since then it's been his single focus related to me sexually and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate sex now because when we get into fights he tells me how *boring* vaginal sex is and how he'd rather not have sex than have to fuck me that way. But then the next time he wants to have sex he'll say that he was just mad and didn't mean it, but those words are stuck in my brain when we're having sex, and I can only think that he's bored during. I can get off vaginally but I haven't in so long cause he either tries super fast to get to butt action, or I can't even get myself into the headspace to come because of how bitter he has been in the past about vag sex vs anal. I just think about the mean things he's said about sex with me that way and it doesn't really heighten my chances of orgasm.\n\nWhen we first started having anal sex he would try to accommodate me in some way. Like he'd rub my clit while he was doing it, but I can't ever get into the rhythm that I could possibly orgasm no matter what he does during anal sex, so he quickly stopped worrying about me in that regard. And that's pretty okay by me cause trying to get some kind of sexual satisfaction only to never have it happen was not fun. That said, my boyfriend pretty much gave up on me long ago. He'll sometimes offer to try to get me off after he has, but I'm usually far past arousal at that point and I tell him it's all right. I still masturbate fairly regularly on my own, but man oh man I just don't want the topic of sex to come up from my boyfriend ever. If a day goes by without him wanting anything, I'm relieved. And I hate that feeling.\n\nSo I don't want to blame my partner 100% for my lowering libido, I am getting older (I'm 28, he's 33), and I have gained some pounds so my confidence is lowered in some regard... but I feel like he's destroyed our sex life with his needs and I don't know what to do. Other than to just have anal sex exclusively for his benefit despite my discomfort/sometimes pain following and never get off with my boyfriend again. (That seems very dramatic, but 3 years of it being like this has worn me down. I'm at my wit's end. I love him in all other ways but how he treats me in regards to sex. So lost.)\n\nAny advice is appreciated. I really want some non-\"break up\" advice cause I don't have plans on leaving him anytime soon.", "post_id": "6p0686", "comment_id": "dklqjup"}, {"question": "So how\u2019d you do it? ", "comment": "I have completely filled a travel notebook (54 pages) with daily plans, random thoughts, and what else I put in my Bullet journal. i have -never- used every page in any size notebook... ever. There are so many notebooks scattered around this house with only 10 or 15 pages t most used...\n\n​\n\nThat is insane to me.", "post_id": "adhb2x", "comment_id": "edgugyt"}, {"question": "Honestly- most psychological tests are with a pencil and paper. Some are long, but most take about 15-20 minutes.\n\nThe important thing to remember is that there are no right or wrong answers- and it is important to be as honest as you can be.", "comment": "Monday, I am calling a behavioral health center in my area. I am finally going to take the needed steps to combat my anxiety. I am 22 and have been struggling with it since approximately age 10. While I am excited to try to rebuild my life, I am also terrified of the entire process, especially the psychological testing... I have never been through this nor have I talked to a counselor/psychologist.\n\nSo, I ask of you, Reddit: What can I expect? Are there specific questions I could be asked? If you have been through the process, how scary/frustrating/etc was it for you? How did you deal with these feelings? What advice can you give to possibly help me out?", "post_id": "zwizm", "comment_id": "c68cxh7"}, {"question": "I second talking to your therapist about it. While you may not technically have an eating disorder now, this is the type of behavior that might put you at risk of problems over the long-term.\n\nI don't know your whole story, but I wonder if you're searching for ways to feel \"in control\" in your life, and that's why it's satisfying to you? \n\nEating shouldn't feel like a failure, eating should be a way to take care of your body and yourself. I would explore with your therapist why eating might be associated with bad feelings for you.", "comment": "Okay I would just like to premise that I\u2019m not anorexic and have never been, though I suppose this post might be triggering for people with eds.\n\nBasically my mom is doing this candida diet thingy and I figured I might as well do it with her. I\u2019ve basically only been eating one or two light salads a day this whole week. Right now it\u2019s been 22ish hours since I\u2019ve eaten and I love how it feels? Like I\u2019m kinda spacey and am having trouble reading books but I can read fine on my phone. And I just feel so light and stuff. The one other time I can remember I didn\u2019t eat for a while, I hadn\u2019t eaten or drank for 24 hours and almost passed out and I kind of liked the way that felt too? I know it\u2019s unhealthy but I feel so proud of myself for not eating, I\u2019ve never felt this way before. \n\nMy heart is racing and I sat down a while ago and my legs went immediately numb so I realize I should probably eat soon but should I like talk to my therapist about this? I think the reason why I like it is because I have very little willpower and I feel like I\u2019m succeeding at something right now. I kind of feel like that always when I\u2019m hungry and then feel like I\u2019ve failed myself when I eat, but I still eat a healthy amount usually", "post_id": "h130fx", "comment_id": "ftpp9mz"}, {"question": "This is when it's important to have a conversation with your grandmother and the whole family about what the goals are here. If she's miserable eating water, is that a life worth prolonging? Would it be preferable to run the risk of aspiration and serious illness or death? Would she want a feeding tube instead (I can't say that it's an option in her case, but it sometimes is). IV hydration? The current situation is not making her happy, and she should have a say in her care if she's able.", "comment": "**Age:** 85\n\n**Sex:** Female\n\n**Height:** 4'9\"\n\n**Weight:** 100 lbs\n\n**Race:** Asian\n\n**Duration:** 1 month \n\n**Location:** Lungs\n\n**Medical Issues:** Low blood sugar, has a colostomy bag, has a catheter, fractured spine, cannot walk, cannot swallow liquids, is currently only eating pureed foods\n\n**Medications:** N/A\n\n**Background:** My grandmother was recently discharged from the hospital (she was admitted to the hospital for a number of life threatening issues that have since been resolved). \n\n**Current Issues:** She is now at a nursing home and because she failed her swallow tests with the speech therapist at the hospital, the doctors told us that she is not able to drink water because she may aspirate and develop pneumonia. She has been given pureed foods and thickened water but she **absolutely** refuses to drink thickened water even though we told her it is necessary for her well-being and survival. For the past few days, I've been forcing half spoons of thickened water into her mouth but now she is starting to resist.\n\n**Question:** Do you guys have any suggestions as to how I can help keep her hydrated? Is it possible to hook her up to an IV at the nursing home (in the hospital, she tore out her IV by herself so I'm not even sure if that's useful). \n\nI hate seeing her like this. When she was admitted to the hospital, the doctors told us that they didnt think she'd survive but she beat the odds. I don't want her to develop complications from dehydration.", "post_id": "8pwis9", "comment_id": "e0elost"}, {"question": "I started on 5mg in the morning then 2.5 at lunch then 2.5 im early avo. That became ineffective really quick so I increased. \n\nBefore I last saw my psych I was having 5mg 4 times a day. He recommended I try the full 10mg twice a day. Essentially, when your liver has more to process it does it slower and the effects last a little longer. This was great advice. I went away trying 10mg morning and lunch and it worked great.\n\nIt started to not be quite enough though, similar to previously. So now taking 20mg in morning and 10mg around 11-12 which is enough as long as I don't have to be productive after 4pm. Tuesday's I have a lecture 5-8pm so I take a half at around 4. \n\nI have had to give up coffee. For me personally (emphasise this) 20mg twice a day is too much even now, 7 weeks in. But my psychiatrist prescribe me 20mg a day from the start. It may be that your psychiatrist has given you a maximum and not put it in so many words? My psych said have a script for two a day but that's not what I expect you to take, it's a max and just try everything for now.", "comment": "So, I have medicaid and can only go to the mental health clinic where they're just overtaxed. The doctor prescribed me 20mg 2x a day, which seems like an overkill starter dose to me. I took 5mg 2x a day at one point. My doctor doesn't have the time to talk to me for 30 minutes about dosages, but I'm very appreciative that he gave me enough of a dose that I will be able to find what works for me.  \n\nMy problem last time was that 5mg seemed to stop being effective after 3 weeks or so. The provider I was seeing at the time wasn't comfortable playing with dosages, so I just quit taking the drug. \n\nI started with 5mg again this time, with some positive results. I take it usually every 5 hours. I initially stuck to 2 dosages a day, but I'm now seeing the benefit of 3 dosages a day. There doesn't seem to be much of a downside to this, unless you really get the full 6+ hours from IR, then it might affect sleep. I was listening to a podcast* by a psychiatrist who runs an ADHD clinic and he said that even XR users would benefit from one IR dosage after the XR is done working.\n\nJust curious how other people are taking this drug. Today I took 5mg, 5mg, and now I'm talking a 10mg dose to experiment with. I tried one before and had issues, but I was stupid and drank like 2 coffees during the dosage. I actually wanted to try 7.5mg, but splitting a 20mg pill into an 8th is just too imprecise, even a 4th is pushing it.\n\n* https://www.additudemag.com/podcast-use-adjust-stimulants-william-dodson/  \n\nPodcast I referenced, that I found very helpful and informative in it's talks about optimal dosing. ", "post_id": "b22el5", "comment_id": "eiq3jge"}, {"question": "I used to be a full-time brewer. I had to completely leave the industry, but that is just anecdotal.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "7nwj8w", "comment_id": "ds54udw"}, {"question": "Y\u2019all are all so helpful and kind. He\u2019s not an internet guy but I\u2019m going to encourage him to come here. Thanks so much and I wish you well on your own journeys!", "comment": "My husband is planning to stop drinking after several years of having 3-4 vodka tonics every night for 4-5 years. Some nights maybe more. Should he even attempt detox at home? Worried about him doing it without medical support, but I also worry about Covid 19. TIA.", "post_id": "g80ic7", "comment_id": "folipye"}, {"question": "If it is indeed shingles, [here's some info](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Shingles/Pages/Introduction.aspx)", "comment": "\n33 y/o, white male. No known health issues. \n\nIt just popped up out of nowhere. I doubt it's the herps, since I haven't had sex in a very long time. I'm generally a clean person. I use mild soap, shower every other day and only use warm to coldish warm water. The rash isn't anywhere else except my left thigh. \n\nIt itches, but I don't scratch. It burns even when not touched, but worse when it is; I don't touch it directly, just through the closes and just a quick pat to see how it feels. \n\nThe top of my head feels a little itchy, but I doubt it's psychosomatic. \n\nNothing around my lips, genitals, or anus area. Though it feels like its starting to crawl upwards to my hip as I type this. \n\nEdit: forgot link.  http://imgur.com/LM6cuw9", "post_id": "4vk0ga", "comment_id": "d5zbh4k"}, {"question": "kind of ironic how people are commenting to put you down...lol. Sorry bud", "comment": "Part of the reason I need to stop using this site is because so much of it is toxic. There is so much cynicism, negativity, hatred and arguing on this website. Every is constantly putting each other down, it's terrible. Not only that but I keep saying the same old jokes and information on the same old tired topics. I feel like I'll be so much more mentally healthy when I'm off this website.", "post_id": "cw01yu", "comment_id": "ey7kkhe"}, {"question": "I found i feel the worst when I don't talk about it and keep it all in. It kills me inside to not but I feel so much better if I confront someone about how I feel and be real about it. \n\n\"Hey I know this sounds irrational but i feel this way\"", "comment": "I've been on a constant battle of highs and lows lately, and it's getting to the point where I'm concerned I might do something stupid and fuck up my whole system that I started for myself. \nI'm getting anxious and my thoughts are clouded and horrible thoughts are being produced because of that anxiety and it won't stop. I think I'm coming to a point where I can't talk myself down and I really just don't want to go to the hospital because I can't get my shit together. \nI just want to feel better and I thought I was doing well for a little bit but then of course I take two fucking steps in the opposite direction of my good path.\n\nI don't have people in my life that I can share this with, my boyfriend is dealing with his own things at the moment and I feel like I'm burdening him with just more problems, but then I cause problems by being emotional when he acts stand-offish because he's dealing with his shit. \n\nMaybe it's better that I go to the hospital, I don't know. \n\nI'm sorry if this doesn't belong here or if I'm not doing this right. It's my first time actually posting on reddit after being a long time lurker of multiple subs. ", "post_id": "2kuqtr", "comment_id": "clp5bhr"}, {"question": "Shown to have some benefits in certaon contexts. Despite that, I wouldn't practice it, nor recommend it for that matter.", "comment": " I want to try have a talk with a therapist. Will you recommend an online counseling? If yes can you recommend an app? Thank you.", "post_id": "cif703", "comment_id": "ev55shi"}, {"question": "The best way to clarify mixed signals is to be very direct. Ask him what he feels and what he wants.", "comment": "I have been talking to this guy for about 2 months. We originally matched on Tinder back in November, followed each other on Instagram, and did not really talk any more after that, until he randomly messaged me asking for my Snapchat username and asked if I wanted to hang out/have a photoshoot (he models) that weekend, and I never followed up until afterwards, and claimed to be too busy two times after. He is extremely attractive and I felt out of my league, so I did not feel comfortable initially, and we continued to talk and I came to realize how much we have in common. He seemed genuinely interested in me and even made me a mixtape, and I eventually caved into his request to hanging out with he and his friends. He said we could meet prior to going with his friends because he knows I have anxiety (something I did not recall disclosing to him) which I thought was very sweet. He lives in another city for school, and visits my city every weekend.\nHe asked to get lunch, I took forever to respond because I was incredibly nervous getting ready, and he waited patiently and didn't eat despite him being \"starving.\" I picked him up (he doesn't have a car), and we got takeout and went to my place. I was not sure if it was a date because we split the check, although he chose to get two dishes and split them, however he made sure they were vegan for me. We hung out at my place for a bit and he seemed very curious about me, asking many questions and hanging out. He and his best friend partake in hosting an event at a local church, which is where he took me. He shares the same religious and political views I do, which is something rare to come across where we live. He introduced me to everyone as his friends, which is fair of course, but it made me uncertain as to whether or not it was a date. Afterwards, we went to his best friend's house with his girlfriend and hung out with his friend's parents. We watched movies and eventually we ended up cuddling, and his friend kept implying that we had a thing in a sense. After his friend and his girlfriend went to sleep, we decided to take a drive, and we went in the back seat and just cuddled, listened to music, and we had deep talks until 4am, so we decided to just go back to my place. He slept over, we cuddled all night, but he put off kissing me until the next morning. He hung out for about 2 hours, then his friend picked him up, he sent a follow-up text saying it was great meeting me, then later he called me asking if he could spend the night so his friend wouldn't have to drive him the next morning to the bus, which I agreed to.\nAfter that weekend, he started acting more \"hard to get,\" in the same sense I did before. That Thursday, he texted me that his friend was coming to my city in the next 10 minutes and he asked if I wanted to hang out, and I told him I was hanging out with my friends and invited him, to which he agreed. He met them and was very kind and personable, and he spent the night again, and we began to become intimate, although I abstained from oral, which he wanted to perform on me, and he was polite about it. \nThe next morning we were making out for a few hours, I lost track of time, and I nearly missed an appointment I had, and while I was rushing, he offered to come with me, park my car during my appointment to avoid me having to worry about finding parking, rather than leaving. He paid for my car parking, and after my appointment he wanted to get coffee and go to a breakfast place I had mentioned (split bill again.) When we went back to my place, I asked what he wanted to do, and he offered two options, both involving meeting with friends and bringing me. We ended up back at his best friends, it went very well again, and he slept over. When I took him to the bus the next morning, he wanted to grab a coffee, so he just ran in while I was in the car and he came back with one for me the way I like it, which I never had in front of him.\nHe was sad he was unable to come up two weekends ago with finals, so he wanted me to pick him up when we both finished that Wednesday, and if I were to come he'd drive us back. So we did, and he slept over again. The next morning, we had sex the first time, though it was not forced, he has never begged. We slept in and his best friend had called him saying he was picking him up, so we finished after his friend had even got there, so he had to rush out afterwards, for which he apologized. That night he invited me to come over to his friends again, though they were all drunk, but I know we would not hook up if I were to have gone. The next day he invited me over there again, and we hung out with his friend's parents again, and I think they think I'm \"a very nice girl.\" They even visited my home town and my family's business this week, and his best friend, along with his best friend's brother and father, followed me on Instagram and invited me to their family's Easter. He is very attentive to what I have to say when we are hanging out with his friends and is affectionate towards me in front of them. We went back to his place, watched movies, told stories, and ended up having sex for 3 hours until I had to take him to the airport. I took him to coffee again, he asked if I wanted anything, to which I replied no, but he came back with my favorite pastry I mentioned the night before. He kissed me goodbye, and ever since he went to his family's we have had minimal contact. The most we have talked was today, which was mostly just about sex and how we are going to when he gets back. He has since updated his Tinder bio, removing the part saying that he is only looking for friends, which concerns me. He has not ever told me he likes me, and I feel as though I am getting clearer signals from his best friend and his family than I am from him, although I know his friend's family is friends with my guy's family, which is a good sign. While I know it is very early, I am concerned as to why we have such minimal contact and why he is still on Tinder after having been intimate and now that I am \"in\" with his \"clique.\" I know this sounds like the most millennial relationship scenario, for which I apologize, it is just a very complicated era for relationships. I have never felt this way towards anyone so soon, I truly feel as though he could be the one, I have never had so much in common and all the same goals in life with another person. Lastly, if it is your thing, he is a Scorpio and I am a Cancer.", "post_id": "62dl90", "comment_id": "dflp58w"}, {"question": "It depends on license and scope of practice.  Many master 's level therapists can diagnose,  and do for insurance purposes , but they often have a limited scope of diagnosis. \n\nMany psychologists also do therapy and can definitely diagnose.", "comment": "As the title says i'm just curious about since my therapist, after talking with her a lot about trauma told me that I most certainly have PTSD, and with my ED after telling her what my symptoms were said \"Yeahhh the symptoms your describing sounds a LOT like Anorexia\", then asked me further questions to make sure it was accurate, I mean tbh I think it is and she had said to me that it helps her and we can work from there, but are therapists allowed to diagnose? I just don't wanna feel like i'm getting her in trouble or something because i'm saying \"DIAGNOSE ME DIAGNOSE ME\" n whatnot, I know psychiatrists can. But she's had me fill out forms with my symptoms, gone over them with me (Which at the time was to help me understand because I felt as though I was faking). I just don't wanna over step boundaries or anything or try to make her do stuff she might not be equipped for as a therapist.", "post_id": "g28aww", "comment_id": "fnk41zh"}, {"question": "I'm really not sure what you're saying or asking here. \n    \nBut how are you doing? What you wrote makes it seen like you're stressed out or frustrated. ", "comment": "The standard policy in clinical practice is that a patient who disagrees with his/her doctor should be referred to a different doctor. Similarly, it is often included in publications on patient rights that, \"the patient always has the right to go to a different doctor.\"\n\nIn reality, the policy is a euphemism, and the right is a joke. This is in contrast to civilized methods of resolving disputes, such as mediation or compromise, which are focussed on reaching an agreement that is acceptable to both parties.\n\nDown-voting, to be brutally honest, is a way of making people feel bad. Although negative reinforcement may effectively dissuade people from making similar posts in the future, it may also leave a sensitive person wondering \"what did I do wrong?\" without anybody to ask. Personally, I don't think bullying is any more likely to cause major depression than drug-abuse. **Torture, on the other hand, can break anybody.**\n  \n  \nBy the way, I'm not a down-voter myself, but I have a mental illness that makes me repeat things as many times as they are down-voted. Is there a name for that?", "post_id": "1z4lji", "comment_id": "cfqkohf"}, {"question": "Start by looking through a couple therapist directories. Psychology Today and GoodTherapy are good places to start. Type in your zip code and a couple near you and start reading some profiles. You can also narrow down your results if you are looking for some specifics. You can also find their websites and things through those sites. You are also free to shoot any prospectives emails through the site asking any questions you would like.", "comment": "Hi there everyone! My girlfriend and I are both looking to find a therapist or physiologist (not really sure the difference) for each of us individually. Will we need a referral first? I\u2019m not really sure where to look to find one, is googling it really our best bet? Is there a vetting website of some kind to use? We are in Portland Oregon. \n\nI\u2019m not sure how important this is but my girlfriend currently sees her family doctor for anxiety medication but it only helps a little. She\u2019s never been to a therapist and will be very nervous to open up to a stranger so I want to make sure it\u2019s going to be a positive experience. When I was a teenager I saw a therapist off and on (I fell into the \u201cI feel better better so I don\u2019t need to keep going/taking my medication\u201d cycle). I\u2019m nervous that since I\u2019ve started and stopped a few times that they will think I was selling my medication (I was on adderall) and will be hesitant to see me or prescribe me anything. Any advice is really appreciated!", "post_id": "efym2h", "comment_id": "fc39pea"}, {"question": "you either trust or you don't", "comment": "So, I have been in a relationship with this amazing girl for little over a month now and I am starting to feel a little bit jealous about one of her friends. I love her to death, I genuinely feel as if I have found 'the one' and she told me that she feels the same way. Still, I can't shake this feeling of jealousy whenever I hear she is going to hang out with this friend. My girlfriend lives half hour drive away from me so I only get to see her during the weekend (both really busy with college etc.). We talk a lot through text messages and calling, we tell each other everything that is bothering us. We both have had some tough relationships before so communication is very important for both of us. \nNow, she has a very good friend that lives down her street with whom she hangs out around 4 times a week. I met the guy myself and he is pretty cool, we've hung out as well and that's fine. Last week though, my girlfriend told me that he is an ex of hers and that they have tried to be together multiple times. They had sex with each other as well. This kinda bums me out even though it really shouldn't.\nI told her the way I feel and that I'm not completely comfortable with it yet I don't want her to think that she can't hang out with him purely because of me, I hate being that guy. We talked about it and she reassured me that I am her boyfriend and that I shouldn't worry. I still do.\nTell me Reddit: how do I shake the feeling of jealousy when she is around that guy?", "post_id": "61s1nb", "comment_id": "dfgu945"}, {"question": "Hold on to hope. It\u2019s possible. Get help. If you\u2019re thinking about killing your self right now go to the hospital or call 911. Call the national suicide hotline 8002738255. Text 741.741 for crisis texting. ", "comment": "I want to kill myself so badly, I\u2019m just holding on to the hope that maybe one day, I\u2019ll find someone that I can say \u201cI love you\u201d to and mean it. And have them mean it to.  If that glimmer of hope flickers out, I\u2019ll be dead. ", "post_id": "7avmeu", "comment_id": "dpd9ij4"}, {"question": "Very low risk. The epinephrine is mixed with lidocaine to cause blood vessels to constrict so the lidocaine (and epinephrine) stay in the area and provide numbness. The point is to keep medications out of your blood and in the local tissue. The amount that ends up distributed to any organs relevant to pregnancy is tiny.", "comment": "I recently had a mole on my knee removed and the doctor used lidocaine with epinephrine. I just found out today that there is a risk associated with using epinephrine during pregnancy so needless to say I am pretty upset. At the time I was 11 weeks + 5 days pregnant and I am now 12 weeks + 6 days. I called my OBGYN office but its the end of the day and they aren't likely to get back to me before the weekend. How risky was this?\n", "post_id": "9a20sa", "comment_id": "e4s4wbt"}, {"question": "ask her out for coffee. nothing to lose.", "comment": "So there's this really great girl in my class. I've known her for about a year now and developed a crush for her overtime. I think that she might like me a bit, but I'm not really sure. We don't talk that much but whenever we do, she's super nice and pretty much always maintains eye contact, smiles, and occasionally laughs at a joke or something. She does seem to favor nice guys, which is a refreshing quality to see nowadays.\n\n\nWe're in the same homeroom at school and our lockers are directly next to each other, so I definitely will have plenty time to talk to her. I also think that I do know where to start (e.g., saying \"hi\" as I pass her in the halls, talking about school or classes by her locker, etc.) But I'm still not completely sure.\n\n\nI also want to talk about how to find common ground with her. To be honest, we don't have much in common. For example, I take French and she takes Chinese as a language at school. She's crazy for soccer, it's my least favorite sport. So I'm really not sure what kind of common ground I can find. Opposites attract, I guess.\n\n\nAnyway, now onto the main point. I'm not confident. I want to talk to her so badly, but I'm just so damn nervous. I don't even know why. I don't even think I'm very ugly, average looking at best. I don't have a lot of muscle, either, but I'm still pretty skinny, so it's not like I'm self-conscious about my weight or anything. I'm also really funny; countless of people, including my friends and some girls, have told me that I'm hilarious. I have so many redeeming qualities, so I'm honestly not sure why I'm so unconfident. I guess it's just that I'm so afraid of saying something bad that I usually just shut my mouth and don't say anything at all. And I want to stop doing that, but that fear of ruining my chances just keeps on haunting me. It has improved a bit over the months, but it's still tough, and I need a hand.\nAny advice on anything in this post would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.\n\n\n**TL;DR: I want to get to know a girl better, but I'm not very confident and don't talk all that much.**", "post_id": "6bepxp", "comment_id": "dhm0ewf"}, {"question": "Blushing is a response that, while obviously uncomfortable, actually pulls people to feel empathy for you. \n\nI like to call it out when it happens and laugh about it. Works well. \n\nEdit read [this](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.thisisinsider.com/blushing-easily-embarrassed-advantages-2017-1) . Hope it helps :)\n\n", "comment": "My sisters always try to make me blush and it happens so easily and im very pale all my family is it shows very very very much im like Rudolph but with my cheeks. I want to stop its embarrassing which in return makes me blush more. I just dont like blushing.", "post_id": "9pdxyk", "comment_id": "e819d3a"}, {"question": "No I wouldn't consider that to be normal, with your definition of \"normal\" meaning being ok with being happy. Those sudden thoughts would be considered to be intrusive thoughts (thoughts that just suddenly pop up and you have a hard time ignoring them/making them go away.) The thought processes you're having of how it would be good if you died right now but not taking action towards those steps would be considered to be passive suicidal ideation (aka if I got hit by a bus it would be nice, if I just happened to die I'd be ok with it) which is still considered suicidal ideation. \n\n​\n\nThe question is how long you've felt like this for, and if this has impacted your life significantly in terms of functioning socially, educationally, or otherwise. Same with the other person who posted, if you're in med school you can go to a therapist and confidentiality will keep your concerns between yourself and your therapist. The therapist could help you figure out the triggers of what is making you feel the way you do.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ds19cr", "comment_id": "f6mvs69"}, {"question": "Hello! Mental health professional here. Not a psychologist. I do some outpatient work with kiddos whose parents also have ADHD and behavioral concerns. Couple things that poke out at me that I'd like to comment on:\n\n1. ODD is not necessarily the most significant predictor of BPD. Especially at that age. I wouldn't even be going NEAR that diagnosis. You are potentially damning the kid before he even has a chance to develop. \n2. You will want to get a child psychiatrist involved, if possible, along with the psychologist for the most accurate and corroborating information regarding use of a stimulant medication to help with symptoms of ADHD. Nurse practitioners CAN write scripts in most states; it's extra training they go through. There is a level above that, advanced psychiatric nurse practitioner (ARNP) that has additional training regarding psychotropic medications.\n3. The child psychiatrist will have the best info for you regarding stimulant use in young children. \n4. The medications MAY affect the psychology analysis within a month (assuming proper med adherence, that's enough time for you to potentially see a difference in the severity of symptoms), but your son can still be tested for a definitive diagnosis of ADHD. Also, might be good to get some academics testing in to see if there's any accommodations that can be made at school to better optimize his learning experience.\n5. The best thing you can do to help with your son is to BE THERE. Make sure he attends his appointments, pay careful attention to the recommendations of the providers, weigh the pros/cons and be sure to voice your concerns/ideas with them. Find providers that you trust and who are willing to meet your family where they are. Be ready to make changes in the home to better accommodate your son's behavior and learning. Model appropriate behavior, emotion regulation, and ways to communicate. Be the change you want to see in him if you are not already.", "comment": "Just for some background I am a 41 year old man who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at 18. I also have a degree in psychology however I'm willing to admit there are things I dont know and am always learning. This post however isnt about me. It's about my son. My worry is that my \"precieved knowledge\" is hindering my decision making. \n\nMy son has been diagnosed ADHD with ODD. As many of you may know this is the most predictive diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. The school and the \"behaviorist\" have recommended he be put on a stimulant. My problem is this. Number one ADHD is diagnosed at almost 3x the rate in the USA then anywhere else. And more kids are on stimulants in this country then any other drug. This isnt about whether the pharmaceutical companies influence these decisions its about weather at 6 he should be medicated. The behaviorist my wife took him to is a nurse practitioner, who I am assuming took some sort of class or seminar that \"certified\" her to be able to spot ADHD identifiers so she can write scripts to kids. It was likely funded by a pharmaceutical company for obvious reasons. \n\nI am not against medication. Not at all. In fact I think that if a psychologist recommends meds in conjunction with therapy its irresponsible to not take the meds. The result may be that without them, you're unreceptive to therapy. My issue is with a NP prescribing meds without the recommendation of a psychologist. However the school has successfully pressured my wife into this. Again this isnt about the vested interest the school system had in medicating kids it's about MY KID.\n\nCan anyone, preferably a psychologist, provide me with a few answers to questions if you dont mind.\n\n1) will stimulants affect my 6 year olds brain development in a negative way\n\n2) I've made a appointment with a psychologist but it's not for a month and my wife wants to start the meds NOW. Will the meds affect the analysis the psychologist makes next month? \n\n3) perhaps my most important question is this. I love my son. He is my best friend. I'm trying to make the correct decision. I was on many meds as a child and they all did more harm then good. It wasnt until I was finally diagnosed BPD at 18 and taught how to live with it, got into a gym to help my self worth, and learn overall skills for dealing with anxiety, anger and the like that I started to function better, and although life is hard I've learned the skills necessary to live a happy medication free lifestyle. So I guess I'm asking will the meds be something that hinder his progress in learning these skills OR will they help him and perhaps allow him to learn these things more easily.\n\nIf you stuck with this and read it to the end I already appreciate it. I'm looking for real advice. I am not opposed medication but question its validity in a 6 year old boy. However I admit there is alot about this I dont know and am seeking advice from a actual professional.", "post_id": "davc6s", "comment_id": "f1xirqg"}, {"question": "You are welcome here. Whether your problems are \"big\" or \"little\", they are still yours, and since you are welcome here your problems are welcome here too. Don't be afraid to share :)", "comment": "Jeez...  I just spent 20 minutes typing something,  then re-typed it, then deleted it for this because I felt like no one would really care...\nI tend to not even get my idea's out in order.\n\nSo I'm just going to leave this here, and keep the rest to myself.  Help's me with not feeling anything ya know?", "post_id": "19awa4", "comment_id": "c8mnibs"}, {"question": "I definitely agree with talking to your therapist about it. I understand that it can be scary opening up to a therapist about it especially if it makes you think something bad will happen (e.g. sent to a mental institution, dog taken away, etc). Aside from these concerns, are you about about how your therapist may react in the session? It seemed like this may be one of your concerns, but I could be wrong. Also, do you feel like you\u2019ll have trouble verbalizing it in a session? If so, some people find it easier to write down on paper or in a journal and let the therapist read it. I\u2019ve actually had one client do that in a session and they found it helpful.", "comment": "When I was younger I had this desire to hurt animals. Not just animals I did not know but family pets. I would hurt the animals. But then I would feel really bad and cry. And when I was a teenager this feeling had mostly gonna away. So I still felt Sergio that I had hurt animals but I wanted to make up for it. After I moved out of my parents place. I should say escaped my parents place I had no pets. I missed having pets. So recently I got myself a dog. I love him very much. But every now and then that feeling and desire comes back. It scares the shot out of me. But I am having a hard time controlling it. But instead I cut myself and I know that is not good either. I do see a therapist but I have not mentioned this because I am afraid I will have my dog taken away or worse be locked in some mental institution.  I have always thought I was a compassionate person. I cry during sad movies. I cried when my grandmother died. But mental illness runs in my family. I was abused growing up. At times I have wondered could I take a life. But then I ask myself what is wrong with me. What a fucked up thing to think. I am scared. I really do not want to hurt anyone or anything. But something changes in me. I get really depressed and my mood changes. I am 29 years old and female. This desire is in no way sexual. And I do not have this feelings towards humans usually. But I have had nightmares where I get revenge on guys who molested me and torture them. But they are just dreams. I have participated in bdsm and that seems to help with these desires. But I am single right now and have nobody to punish consensually. Please do not call me crazy. My mother did that a lot. What should I do? Do you think a temporary stay in a mental health facility would help me? Do you think I could get help?", "post_id": "bzm545", "comment_id": "eqtqu55"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong with wanting to see if you are able to function and manage your symptoms with medication to assist you.\n\nBe mindful about going cold turkey, though. Several kinds of antidepressants can have adverse effects if you stop taking them suddenly. The most helpful way to get off of antidepressants is to let your doctor know about your interest to taper off (that means, gradually come off of them) and allow them to prescribe you smaller and smaller doses until you eventually stop taking them. That helps with the transition off of medication much better. You can do that in a span of 6-8 weeks.\n\nAlso, make sure to let your therapist know so they can help you monitor your experiences coming off the medication and make recommendations as appropriate.", "comment": "Last June, I started taking antidepressants and have been undergoing therapy for my depression. \n\nMy first cycle for meds is for 40 days and tonight is the last one. I want to try if I can already sustain my stable thoughts and emotions without it but I will still be going to therapy sessions. \n\nHowever I can\u2019t help but to think that I may go unstable again and will have to rely on meds a little longer. It\u2019s kind of making me worried.", "post_id": "cnlyh3", "comment_id": "ewbts6l"}, {"question": "https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/parents-and-young-people/young-people/exercise-and-mental-health-for-young-people\n\n(for general info for anyone passing through)", "comment": "All I think while doing it is that I don't understand how different is from stretching, how is it supposed to work or if I'm doing something wrong and that's why it isn't working.\n\nI can't empty my head while doing yoga.\n\nAlso I'm a skeptical person, I don't believe in energy and chakra and such, although I am trying new things in this moments of despair (reiki didn't work)", "post_id": "f18kx2", "comment_id": "fh3y0vy"}, {"question": "You\u2019re probably perfectly fine, but, have you ever heard of tonsil stones? They can cause really bad breath. Even with otherwise excellent oral hygiene.", "comment": "This is one of my first reddit posts so I'm sorry if I am doing it wrong, but I'm having a really hard time knowing whether or not I have body odor.  Here's my story:\n\n​\n\nIn 6th grade, a boy once said \"something smells bad\" around me and I had a feeling he was talking about me. I didn't think much of it as I was 12 and was starting puberty. I just thought, \"oh, I guess I need to start washing more as I am getting older\" so I did. \n\n7th grade, this girl kept saying \"something smells bad. It smells like body odor\" from ACROSS the ROOM. There are like 6 students in the class, so I'm convinced she's talking about me. I continue washing daily, but this time I add scented lotion, scented lip balm, and add perfume. Then, I get seated next to this girl. I get up to get something, and when I get back she says, \"something smells so bad ew\" Later on, I notice people do not want to sit next to me. I don't understand as I wash daily, do not sweat much, wear deodorant, scented lotion, and perfume. Later on in the year, a girl walks into the bus and says \"it smells like (name of the perfume I was wearing) in here!\" from across the bus. So I assume maybe my perfume is just too overpowering? Maybe it's not body odor?\n\n8th grade nothing, 9th grade nothing, 10th grade nothing. Did not change my hygiene routine, I simply stopped wearing so much perfume so I assumed that was it. Problem solved, right? No. \n\n11th grade I was super busy studying for the SAT's and I had a part-time job. I didn't have a lot of time for self-care, and I wasn't paying as much attention to my hygiene routine as in the past. However, nothing changed. I still showered every day, brushed my teeth, wore deodorant, perfume, etc. However, people started saying I smell to my friends. But this time they straight up said it was body odor. They also said my breath smelled. This caused me to obsess over my hygiene routine again. I bought a scented body wash with the same scented lotion and the same scented perfume. I brushed my teeth 4 times a day. 12th grade I had no problems. \n\nThen freshman year of college. I was hanging out with a new group of girls when one of them started saying \"something smells bad. It smells like an old shoe\" and I started getting really nervous. But then I stopped myself and I was like no. I ran a whole body check. \n\n1) I was wearing NEW shoes that I had gotten a week prior. I always wore them with socks and they probably didn't smell\n\n2) All the clothes I was wearing were clean and washed \n\n3) I took a shower that day (one in which I scrubbed every corner and crack of my body. I always TRIPLE wash my body)\n\n4) I had perfume on as well as scented lotion\n\n5) deodorant obviously\n\n6) Teeth recently brushed\n\nSo I was like nah. I shouldn't worry. But then I left to get something and came back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girl point to me and whisper \"it's her\"\n\nThis seriously caused me to have a panic attack. I ran to my room crying uncontrollably. I called EVERY single one of my friends and asked them \"be honest, do I smell bad?\" And each one said no. And my friends are super honest. I even asked my boyfriend and he said no. I continued crying for 4 hours because I felt hopeless. I felt like I will always smell bad and it will prevent me from having friends. I drove 30 minutes from my college to my boyfriend's and he smelled me and assured me I didn't smell. Yet I have a history of \"smelling bad\" so this girl must've smelled something. Is there any way for me to know if I smell? Could I be washing my clothes wrong or something?", "post_id": "buv5bm", "comment_id": "epibsjj"}, {"question": "your parents need marriage counseling", "comment": "So, I am one of three siblings.  My older sister [35/f] and I [30/m] found out that a few years ago my mother had an affair.  We've known for about a year.  We haven't told my little brother [23/m] because the affair is with my brother's best friend's father.  My mom and dad have been working through it without counseling, and are making progress. On the other hand, my mom (a ceo of a large company and in the middle of getting a PhD) has used her busy schedule as an excuse to not deal with it fully.  \n\nWe agree it's time to move forward and we all will need to sit down and suss this out, and work through it together as a family. Obviously we've all formed our own opinions and are all strong minded, etc... but I think we all realize that someone that is a professional in the field of marriage counseling or something similar will give us better advice than our own ideas... Is that a common thing? A whole family to sit down with a marriage counselor? Any advice from someone who has been there before?", "post_id": "5kg0iu", "comment_id": "dbnpsmy"}, {"question": "Ireland ... you guessed it... bad too. Today we were in a restaurant where neither my husband or i had an alchoholic drink. When the bill came it was on a small tray under 6 wine bottle corks for effect.I found that weird. I know the restaurant is really into its wine but it seemed out of place and trying too hard ! ", "comment": "Everywhere I look it\u2019s another meme, post, or T-shirt that is supposed to be cute or funny about drinking, being drunk or having a drinking problem. I\u2019m so confused as to why it\u2019s being shoved down our throats constantly. Is alcoholism cute and funny?! It\u2019s really sad to me and it\u2019s no wonder so many of us have a problem.  So many people die because of alcohol. Alcoholism, making impaired decisions, drunk driving, etc. It isn\u2019t funny.\n", "post_id": "8uzp2d", "comment_id": "e1kbir8"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sorry they have ever made you feel less than. You wrote about your experience so eloquently. You clearly have a great voice and a lot to say. Maybe the right people just can\u2019t hear you yet! Keep your head up! I see you, girl! Don\u2019t let people through a screen, with their own insecurities, make you feel any less than the strong, brave woman that you are putting yourself out there!", "comment": "Reddit is cool, it has subs for pretty much anyone. There's subs for things like Memes to places where you can have intellectual conversations.\n\nBut as a black woman, I have learned **Reddit.is.not.our.friend.**\n\nSomething that I found **discusting** is the sub for rating how people look. Very average looking whit women are rated high or average, but black women they say ignorant borderline racist shit. I've seen them list our skin color as to why we're below average. Men have said that our noses are ugly/nostrils too big and even to get surgery to fix that once. Also to \"fix\" and neaten our natural hair even though it was healthy and beautiful and nothing messy about it. But then if there's a black woman with straight hair I've seen them say we \"shouldn't wear weave\" or \"weave/wig is unattractive\", they don't even know if it's weave we have long hair too! The most beautiful model like black girl is considered ugly or below average compared to an average white woman on that sub. Black men are rated way better than us. Just say you like European features better! \n\nWhenever I have talked about my experiences with racism I'm always met with disbelief or the popular \"stop making everything about race\". But posts about white people experiencing \"racism\" (most of the time it's just that a POC didn't want to say hi or didn't talk to them) they get the most love and support and up votes I've ever seen :(\n\nThis is why I only really go on subs for Black men and women only, because I feel good about my blackness and I can be myself with people judging me. And people actually understanding my struggles anv not some white people (and some other POC) not believing it **just because they haven't personally seen or been through it**\n\nHonestly I might take a break :/\n\n", "post_id": "aivo5z", "comment_id": "eeqxiho"}, {"question": "Just wait til you get to your 30s \ud83d\ude10", "comment": "I don't know where to start, regarding relationships I've been feeling like a failure for a long time and it's really starting to sink in and make me depressed. My last real 'proper' relationship was when I was 20 and lasted a year. I had a short and unfulfilling 1 month relationship at 23. Then pretty much I've been alone since then.\n\nIt's not that I'm unattractive or have an awful personality. Random people talk to me or hit on me often but it makes me feel uncomfortable and objectified when they're not even seeking a relationship, that or they're much younger than me and assume I'm still in college (I look young). The guys who have chased me just haven't been my type, maybe I've just had really bad luck but I haven't ever found anyone that I've found attractive and is also compatible in core areas.\n\nMy friends are all in happy long term relationships, even married. Nobody is in the same boat as me. My main hobby is online gaming which means the people I meet are either not local, or quite a bit younger than me. I don't go to parties or bars because the people I meet there would likely not have any common interests.\n\nThe only 2 guys I've liked in the last several (many) years - one is already in a relationship (I never let on my feelings to him), and one said he didn't want to do long distance (I confessed and was rejected). The second one is still nice to me and is present in our online group voice chats a lot, which only hurts me more. He's coming to my state in a month, and I don't know if I should even go out to meet him.\n\nI \"doll up\" a lot and pretend to be confident but really I have little to no self esteem, and I'm getting increasing social anxiety. Last year I had a FWB for a period of time to help my self esteem and loneliness or so I thought, I never felt good about it and I ended up calling it off because back then I thought I was pulling myself together and getting somewhere. I felt so lonely this week I resorted to calling him up again.\n\nI know most people advise to just be happy and confident with yourself, and you don't need a partner to give you happiness. I look and try to be confident but I'm really not. I try to just be happy with my hobbies but it gets lonely. I thrive on love and the positive feelings from others. \n\nTLDR: I haven't had a proper relationship in ~7 years, I just haven't had luck meeting anyone that I like and is compatible. The guy I still like is coming to my state next month and I don't know whether to bother meeting up with him after he said he doesn't want to do long distance. I feel pathetic that I've resorted to meeting my FWB again just to feel less lonely.", "post_id": "89kisg", "comment_id": "dws38sb"}, {"question": "It's an awful thing, what she did. She left you to be wallowing in pain. Don't commit suicide because I know she'd want you to be happy. I understand the feelings of wanting to die because someone left you though, but you'll be okay, I promise. <3", "comment": "She left nothing but a body. She seemed so happy today when we were together. She showed no signs of anything. I love her. I can't live without her. I may be next.\n\nEdit; it's March 12th, 4:50pm. I'm still here. I'm doing a bit better. Planning on seeing a therapist soon. ", "post_id": "1a2eco", "comment_id": "c8th2ul"}, {"question": "I joined AA when I was 23 in 1978 and have been sober ever since. I go to as many meetings as I can that\u2019s usually 4 or 5 a week. \nHere\u2019s a good working definition of Maturity:\n\n An adult is a person who is not governed by demands for immediate pleasure, comfort and excitement. Moreover an adult is able to organize the events and emotions of their life into a memory, a rough meaning, a story. An adult understands that the world belongs primarily to the dead and we only rent it from them for a little while. They created it, they wrote its literature, its songs and are deeply invested in how children are treated because children are the ones who will keep it going. The adult is the one who has been able to preserve his or her intensities, including the intensities proper to their generation. An adult is one who goes out and gathers jewels of feeling for others. Finally, the adult understands renunciation.\n\nRobert Bly - Sibling Society", "comment": "God willing, I will celebrate 16 years clean and sober in a few days.  This gift came after I drank alcoholically for 30 years from age 13 to 43.  I heard in treatment and in recovery rooms that alcoholism and addiction interferes with emotional maturation.  If I stopped maturing emotionally at age 13 and resumed when I got sober, my adjusted emotional age would now be 29 - the same age as my son.  In some ways that seems about right.  He and I really relate to each other.  I feel like I am taking responsibilty and getting my shit together they way it might have been expected for someone about to turn 30 rather than 60.\n\nMy life can be divided into three distinct phases; childhood and adolesence, alcoholism, and recovery.  In some ways, I regret (despite most of the promises having been realized) the impact my disease may have had on my life.  I wonder what might have been, had I stopped drinking and found recovery at age 20 or even 30 years old.  I realize these are immature musings of a lad of 29 and more will be revealed.  I do recognize that I have been able to help several recovering alcoholics because my experience was exactly the way it was supposed to be.\n\nThis reminds me of the saying that the best time to plant a tree (stop drinking) was 20 years ago, and the second best time is right now.", "post_id": "eg08z4", "comment_id": "fc5oshu"}, {"question": "It's a tough one when you're obsessive and things like this \"stick\". Hopefully over time the hurt will dissipate.", "comment": "EDIT: 17F NOT 17M\n\nA little background: My girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. I think we love each other. We talk all day, all night and to be honest we're obsessed with each other. She is a senior in high school, me a freshman in college. I live nearby, so it's not long distance in any way. Everything has been incredible. We both agreed to wait to have sex until later, we both want the same things in life. Sure, I don't know if I'll end up spending my life with this girl, but hell, there's a damn good chance. \n\nHere's where the issue lies. Two weekends ago, she had her homecoming dance. Our communication is good, so we talked about the dance. I told her, if you go with someone, as long as it is as friends, I couldn't care less. I honestly wanted her to get asked by someone so she could get that homecoming experience. I could tell she was super excited and really looking forward to it.\n\nThe night of the dance, I texted her around 3 or so letting her know to not worry about texting me and to just enjoy herself. She told me she'd text me the next day and I was fine with that.\n\nThe next morning was weird. She usually texts me when she's up, but for some reason didn't that day. So I texted her and asked her about the dance. She told me how she an incredible time and that she wish it would happen again. I was really happy for her! If she's having fun and happy, then so am I. \n\nLater that day on the phone, she mentioned she danced with some random guy. Now let me say I AM NOT the overprotective BF who restricts her. I do not get jealous easily, at all. She told me they grinded for about half a song and that was it. Here's where the issue is. I know she's never done something like that before, and neither have I. It was always our little fantasy to dance in a sexy way with each other. We talked about it ALL the time. Now, I can't stop thinking about her doing it, especially with some random, meaningless guy. I feel like I've been robbed of that fantasy. Knowing myself, there will be no way I could do that with her, without thinking about that. Not only that, but I can't help but wonder why she did it. What was going through her head when she did something like that? Am I not good enough? Did she decide for that moment our fantasy was meaningless? Did she forget about me?\n\nReally, what I am asking for here is advice on how to forget about this. Of course this is nothing worth ending a relationship over, it's just dealing with it. I have an over-obsessive mind and it seems like once a day I imagine her doing this. It disgusts me. I see people dancing like this now and immediately think about her doing it with some guy. I hate it. \n\nI know you wonderful people are going to tell me to talk to her about it. I have.  She says she regrets it and has said sorry repeatedly. She feels terrible that she ruined it for me and really, for her too. I guess I'm wondering, how do we forget about this and pretend it never happened? Is that possible? \n\nThanks in advance Redditors, I value all input. ", "post_id": "77midz", "comment_id": "don4kq6"}, {"question": "One of the big things that Vyvanse helps me with is regulating my emotions. Off my meds, I feel much more emotionally reactive and can swing from one end of the spectrum to another. Plus, I can get to feeling hyperactive, which can be a struggle for my wife to understand and deal with. \n\nOn my meds, my emotions and thoughts seem much more orderly and normal. I don\u2019t swing from highs to lows and back as much and everything\u2019s not as intense. The world just makes a lot more sense to me.", "comment": "I've just been diagnosed with ADHD and have started medication. I'm the only person I know with ADHD and it's kinda hard not having someone around who gets it. My friends are happy to listen to me talk about what's going on but it's all pretty foreign to them.\n\nI have one friend who took methylphenidate at uni as a study aid but stopped after a few days because it was making her feel too amped up and reactive to outside stimuli, like she was having too many thoughts at once. When I take my meds, though, I feel calm and quiet and focused. It's like someone's turned down the brightness and volume on the world. My thoughts form an orderly queue instead of all jumping and yelling for my attention at once and I can take my time dealing with them.\n\nI'm actually finding it a bit unnerving, though, like being underwater or in a dream. I don't feel like myself and it's triggering some anxiety.\n\nOne thing I'd really like to hear about is how does being on medication *feel* for you? I know the theory behind meds but I'm curious about the subjective experience. What changes when you take your meds? What stays the same? Anything unpleasant you have to deal with, and what benefits do you see?\n\nThanks to anyone who responds :) This sub is awesome and it's been really affirming knowing I'm not alone while I go through this.", "post_id": "b81c2f", "comment_id": "ejvmze2"}, {"question": "Unfortunately, that tends to happen with Xanax and other benzodiazepines. They work great, but were specifically designed for short term use only. ", "comment": "Hi everyone, \n\nXanax has recently been giving me intensified feelings of anxiety instead of helping to combat them the way it used to. Has anyone else experienced the same? \n\n\nIn June of 2012, I was given a prescription for 0.25 mg Xanax to be taken as needed for anxiety. I usually started by taking half of one, then would increase to one full tablet if I felt that I needed to. I'd max out at 2 tablets (0.5mg total). This was almost always at night after work. I hated taking them during the day.\n\n\nIt was very helpful and I was careful with how I took them, though there were times where I'd probably take them almost every day for about a week, and then slowly taper off just to make sure I didn't develop a hardcore dependency on them. \n\n\nLast month, after not taking Xanax for about 6 weeks, I felt that I needed to take it again. My anxiety was bad enough that I took 0.25 mg right away. Nothing happened. An hour and a half later, I took another 0.25mg. I felt very slight relief from the anxiety, so I was eventually able to fall asleep. But then the weirdest thing happened: \n\n\nI slept horribly. I tossed, I turned, I woke up several times and also just felt a terrible sense of anxiety upon waking (even worse than before I took the Xanax). I was a nervous wreck. I thought that maybe my anxiety was just that bad, and simply dealt with what I was feeling (at great suffering and with many tears/lots of shaking and clenching of teeth). But then the next time I took Xanax after that, the same thing happened, so I'm convinced that my body is reacting poorly to the Xanax now.\n\n\nThese days, I might as well just take Xanax if I want to make myself feel worse. \n\n\nI'm not sure how to approach this, as I have to find a doctor closer to where I live and approaching a new doctor with the remark of \"Xanax isn't working anymore, is there anything else you can give me?\" isn't my idea of a very smart course of action. \n\n\nThis is especially true because I recently stopped being able to afford therapy due to financial issues, and I don't want to regularly be on antidepressants. Any feedback from fellow Xanax users? :( \n\n**TL;DR:** Xanax is making me a nervous wreck when it really used to help a lot. Has this happened to anyone else? \n\n", "post_id": "1hy65l", "comment_id": "cazn8be"}, {"question": "GP's aren't trained in psychotropic medications. Psychiatrists get years of extra training specific to psychiatric meds.\n\nIt is very irresponsible for your GP to advise against this. ", "comment": "Title says it all.  I had a GP since birth who I recently left because he started charging a monthly fee.  Long story, but when I was with him I expressed an interest in seeing a psychiatrist.  He told me not to, because of certain tactics psychiatrists use vs. counselors.  He didn't want someone trying to get me on a cocktail of medications when I really only needed one and some good CBT.\n\nSo now I'm running out of Zoloft and I need to get my dose readjusted.  Do I go see another GP and tell him/her my situation and ask for a reassessment of my medications?  I'm on 25mg of Zoloft.  Without my meds I'm irritable, on edge, and anxious.  If I break my 50mg pill unevenly and take more than half I'm anxious, lightheaded, and can't stop zoning out.\n\nI know y'all aren't doctors and I need to see one, but I just need some form of feedback so I'll know what to expect.", "post_id": "y5nvp", "comment_id": "c5tbc05"}, {"question": "Good job! Keep us posted on your progress. It's really hard to take initiative and 21 pounds is a great accomplishment. ", "comment": "Hello!\n\nSo I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over a year ago. You would think that I would have been happy to have an explination for the weigh gain, hair growth in weird places, missing periods, etc. I thought I was fine with having an expliantion. I took my perscription for the BCP and Metformin, and left the doctors office. I proceeded to read about PCOS and think \"Wow! Finally an explination.\" Then I proceeded to do nothing. \n\nSo as I said, its over a year later. I think I am finally ready to try to take control of this. My weight is out of control and I am uncomfortable. I am sick of the waxing appointments to deal with the hair growth. I just want to feel better. \n\nSo I have decided to follow the keto diet, and it has been about 4 weeks. I have not been perfect on it. I have cheated on the diet, and I still crave carbs. I have lost 21 pounds. Some of that weight loss may be the extreme work stress I have been under. \n\nNext steps are to start taking my perscriptions, and to start exercising. ", "post_id": "3jv0yq", "comment_id": "cusmxkg"}, {"question": "So sorry to hear this. Great decision in a tough time. This will be so hard without booze on top. Check in here when you can. Iwndwyt", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "97m84j", "comment_id": "e4a63y0"}, {"question": "Are they pooping their pants and not feeding themselves", "comment": "If someone is not a danger to themselves or others, but has paranoid delusions and hallucinations, will they be committed?", "post_id": "5lv1lf", "comment_id": "dbzbeqb"}, {"question": "I think this depends on your individual PCOS symptoms and experience. For me, someone with estrogen dominance symptoms, soy is a no go. ", "comment": "I am looking to hear people share their anecdotal/personal experience with eating soy in their diet or not. It's one of those foods that has mixed feedback in terms of is it good for PCOS/inflammatory conditions.  \n  \nPersonally, I am struggling to find the right balance in eating what makes me feel good. I have PCOS and endometriosis, and want to try to reduce inflammation through my diet. I had been a vegetarian for 8 years so soy became really common in my diet. Even though I am no longer a vegetarian, I probably only have 1 meat based meal a week, and then a variety of plant based proteins. I just don't love budgeting/buying/cooking/eating meat that much, but I think I feel better when eating lean meats + vegetables than I do when eating a soy heavy diet. Has anyone else experienced this? or the opposite? Or do you think it doesn't make a difference? Please share!", "post_id": "8j6j1n", "comment_id": "dyxhzdl"}, {"question": "Yes, it's possible and actually fairly common to develop symptoms because you're worried about the disease.\n\nTingly fingers and toes are a late symptom of diabetes. The chance that you would develop that before diagnosis is very small. Thirst and urination (polydipsia and polyuria) can be symptoms of diabetes, but you can also be thirsty because it's hot out, need to pee because you just drank a lot of fluid, and then feel the need to pee more because you're anxious about it.\n\nIt's straightforward to see a doctor and get tested. It's possible that you have diabetes. It's possible that this is all anxiety. It's even possible that you have diabetes *and* the symptoms are produced by anxiety.", "comment": "Female, Caucasian, 25, 5\u20191\u201d, 143 lbs, non-smoker.\n\nI was drinking these sugary coffee drinks everyday for a while and at the end of last week, I noticed every time I drank one, I was feeling super nauseous after. Of course, this made me google the symptom and the top thing that cake up was diabetes. \n\nOf course, I saw some other symptoms of diabetes and talked to my friend who\u2019s a nurse and she told me I would be endlessly thirsty and frequently needing to use the restroom. Of course, now I\u2019m super thirsty constantly and using the restroom only 5 minutes after just going. And then another friend told me that I would have tingly fingers and toes and now I have that, too.\n\nI\u2019m not sure if I had these symptoms before and my awareness of them made me see or if these are occurring because I\u2019m afraid that I have diabetes.\n\nEdit: I do not have diabetes. I thought I did and looked up the symptoms and started experiencing them. Thanks to everyone who helped.", "post_id": "ckagb9", "comment_id": "evlbojb"}, {"question": "You should worry more about an untreated kidney infection than the side effects from the antibiotic.", "comment": "I am a relatively healthy (27m, 180 lbs) white male that had a UTI advance to a kidney infection and was just prescribed Cipro. I have read up on it and it seems pretty dang scary. Permanently damaging tendonitis, neurological problems, detached retinas etc. I have pretty high health related anxiety. Just wanted some statistics to ease my mind or advice to stay away. Thanks! ", "post_id": "571qam", "comment_id": "d8p9n5z"}, {"question": "Paranoia is a common form of psychosis though less recognized because it seems more plausible.  Truly, medication may help.  Think about seeing a psychiatrist.  ", "comment": "For the last few months my depression and anxiety has been through the roof. I've not been a good place.\n\nWhat I'm experiencing isn't so much delusions, more so paranoias, revolving around the theme of people being a product of my imagination. I can rationalize that these paranoias are untrue, but still they bother me. I sometimes get paranoid that my SO is a sort of higher power, who's leading me on a certain path. I get paranoid that he can hear my thoughts and knows what I'm doing when we're not together.\n\nWe've had a lot of arguments lately, which are caused by me getting stuck in extremely negative thought loops, and I hear everything he says as a criticism. I begin to believe he doesn't really love or care about me or even like me anymore.\n\nI'm scared to be alone. I see shadows, I get this bothersome feeling that I'm not alone. It freaks me out.\n\nI don't know what to do anymore. I miss feeling sane. Anyone else experience anything like this? I'm in therapy but haven't spoken to anyone about these specific concerns because I feel embarrassed about it.", "post_id": "30hk7g", "comment_id": "cptt5jy"}, {"question": "Don't beat yourself up too badly about either that night or what you said to them.  I've been in a lot of bands growing up, even kicked out of one in similar fashion.  My guess is that for some reason or another, and it could be something so ridiculous as one member not liking you for a petty reason, they were probably just looking for an excuse to part ways with you.  \n\n\nYeah, you have a lot of grieving to do.  Personal grieving for your family, but also some grieving for the loss of your band and imagined future.  Once you go through it and feel like it's time to move on, do it.  \n\n\nDon't allow yourself to stay stuck in your grief.  Get back on the horse and find another band or start playing solo gigs.  Even going to a shitty open mic night and performing some can help lift your spirits.  \n\n\nIf you were kicked out for petty reasons and you just curl up in a ball and stop moving forward, they win.  If you take all of that anger and use it as motivation to keep moving forward, albeit in a separate direction, you may find that you ended up better for it.  \n\n\nBest of luck bud!", "comment": "To provide some background around about March I was in a pretty successful local band within my area, by all accounts things should have been great yet at the time my grandad was admitted into hospital on his last legs, not to mention deep financial issues at the time and pressures from college meaning I was achieving failing grades as my focus was more with my relatives at the time. Anyways cut to the endish of March and we were due to play an out of town gig, today had been pretty hard as my grandad only had days left and I was having to seriously consider dropping out of college, not only were we late to the gig because of traffic but our drummers parents werent the easiest to be with the journey constantly bickering at each other and making us fret. To cut a long story short only ten people showed to the gig way less than we were used to, (which admittedly this does sound ungrateful but I guess I was looking for something to put my negative emotions upon), really bad techinal issues from the sound and my guitar, and just everything else I ended up proper breaking down on stage, full on hyperventilating panic attack so I had to run off mid set. I apologised to the band and the promoters that night, hell even the audience but most of them were perfectly understanding and some were even like \"nah man it was chill proper rockstar\". Cut to a few days later, Grandad had finally passed and as bad as it sounds I felt a little better as finally like that had all been cleared up and I could move on from worrying about him, I'd finally decided to leave college as I knew I just wasn't ready for it at the moment and wanted to devote 24/7 to my band, however I get a message that very same day...\n\"I'm sorry [my name] but what you did was unacceptable and unprofessional and we can't have this kinda behavior in this business, you're our\".\nThis was the straw that finally broke me, for the past two years I'd put my heart, my soul, my very life into this band, it wasn't just a hobby of mine it was very being, I was even the one who founded the thing and it was at the time the only thing I felt I had left. I had a full on melt down, and admittedly I said stuff I shouldn't have and proper lost it at them, which god oh god do I regret to this day, what if I said something different, what if I had just been more level headed, what if I had slept the night before, what if I wasn't a day into some pretty strong new meds, these thoughts to this day constantly plaguing my mind of everything I could have done to not ruin this for me. \nIt turned out that was final and I've never been the same from that point on, my anxiety and depression have blown into full extreme often meaning I can't leave the house, I've had several suicide attempts and my physical health is the worse it's ever been, socializing just is so impossible rn as ive become so paranoid to trust people that I don't even want to risk talking to them, motivation, cleanliness, sleep, eating, even trying to sit still are completely as low as they could possibly be right now. Yet whenever my old band appears I see them being so successful, playing bigger and more gigs, getting more and more fans, further and further climbing that ladder of success and I hate them for it, they've made me such a bitter and evil and untrusting person and I hate them for it, but more importantly I hate myself for letting me hate them for it, I hate myself for letting my negative traits and personality win, I hate myself so fucking much and with it those feelings worsen every day. I feel so trapped, so alone, so empty and on edge and at the end of the day, it's all my fault.\n\nTL;DR: got kicked out of my band for a mental health crisis, turned me into pure bitterness and hate sabotaging my own life with no way out \n\nIk it may seem silly because it's all about a band so if you want more detail on why it meant so much to me then please just ask below", "post_id": "8wk3hm", "comment_id": "e1w7bvv"}, {"question": "If someone is willing to diagnose both CPTSD and BPD I highly doubt they really understand either. Unless the BPD was fully established before any of the trauma happened, there is way too much overlap for a differential diagnosis to be accurate and specific. \n\nI'm really happy for you that you found someone to work with and I hope they really understand CPTSD enough to help you. ", "comment": "Basically, I\u2019m in the midst of a mental health crisis. My BPD and CPTSD symptoms are back in full force.\n\nIt is near impossible to find a mental health professional that it\u2019ll take a Borderline patient. I was warned about this by my recent psychiatrist, that a lot of therapists will not take a BPD client, that many licensed therapists will not want to work with someone who is stereotypically manipulative and require a lot of dedication.\u00a0\n\nNot only this, but its near impossible to find someone who will accept my insurance. That\u2019s a secondary issue, though. \n\nI called SEVEN mental health practices in the area, to find someone who will take someone with borderline as well as issues related to trauma. A few of them were \u201cChristian counseling centers\u201d which is a yikes, but I\u2019m desperate. \n\nI am happy to report... that I found a place that\u2019ll accept me! \n\nAnd the appointment is in just a few days! I\u2019ll start DBT again quite soon. Hopefully this time the coping skills will stick with me. I\u2019m super dedicated to working on them and getting my life back on track!\n", "post_id": "9dwtr2", "comment_id": "e5l2r30"}, {"question": "I do. It\u2019s the only thing that\u2019s ever worked for me. Only way I\u2019ve lost weight in 15 years with PCOS. \n\nWhat you\u2019re paying for is access to a private message board community with access to their coaches, a set of 6 or 7 courses that teach you ins and outs of your cycle, balancing blood sugar, how to figure out what foods actually work in and support your body, what to eat when so that you\u2019re supporting your body in doing it\u2019s \u201cjob\u201d in each phase of the menstrual cycle. It\u2019s not some fad diet where you\u2019re paying for meal plans. \n\nThere is a definite new agey vibe despite much of it being quite clearly based in science. Yes, there are optional detoxes, but even those and meant to do things like support your liver so it has an easier time clearing the excess estrogen in your body or your digestion. We aren\u2019t taking gimmicky detoxes that get advertised on instagram. It\u2019s all food based so no juices or crazy lemon cayenne mixtures. I actually love the detoxes and do them a few times per year. ", "comment": "Anyone manage their PCOS with Alisa Vitti\u2019s Flo Living? Want to look into the natural way of doing things. Was on Metformin - did nothing, but make me sick. Spirp definitely worked, but don\u2019t want to be on it if I\u2019m trying to get pregnant. ", "post_id": "8m1oho", "comment_id": "dzka4l1"}, {"question": "Hello! Therapist here. Sorry you've had some trouble getting an appointment. I've helped clients in my area find alternative services when I am unavailable or full for a couple weeks. It happens.\n\nHere's some other ideas that you may not have thought of when seeking out services:\n\n* If you have any local universities or colleges that have graduate degrees in mental health counseling or psychology, give them a call and see if any of them offer community services. Sometimes they staff counseling students that will see people low-cost/free of charge and with good availability.\n* Contact your local behavioral health facility and see if they have any connections (if they don't themselves offer outpatient services with decent availability) to other places they refer clients to when they are booked for weeks.\n* If you plan on using insurance, look on your local insurance website and expand your search to see if you can find other clinicians in your (general) area who take your insurance. \n* If you haven't already, check out these sites: [https://www.psychologytoday.com](https://www.psychologytoday.com)/us and and [https://www.goodtherapy.org](https://www.goodtherapy.org) . These are catalogs of clinicians who practice in your area. Don't forget to look at nearby zipcodes besides your own, if it's feasible for you to travel there.\n* If you have a local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) chapter, give them a call and see if they offer services on an as-needed basis until you can get in with a counselor, or if they have people/places they refer to with better availability.\n* Have you considered tele-psych? It may not be as effective as an in-office visit, but you can utilize those services until you are able to get an in-office visit. You can use the usual online counseling sites (your mileage will HEAVILY vary) but you can also look for counseling offices within your state that offer online counseling services. That gives you a bit more leeway in terms of who you can see, especially if you are in a more rural area.\n\nThose are just some ideas. Give 'em a try and keep looking! What I usually tell my clients is to schedule with someone a few weeks out and then in the meantime see if you are able to secure something sooner, either due to a cancellation with the provider you scheduled with or an alternative provider.", "comment": "I hate how difficult it is to get a therapy appointment. You are asking for help and they say \u201cwell there\u2019s a waitlist for that\u201d and then it is weeks and weeks until you can get a session. Mental health is so screwed up and needs to be looked at differently and with more respect. END Rant.", "post_id": "d0ljy6", "comment_id": "ezb66qv"}, {"question": "I would imagine the problem you're having is that many people with ADHD have experienced stigma from not having people take what they're dealing with seriously. It can be upsetting to those people to have what they might perceive as challenging how they made sense of what has been causing so much distress in their lives, especially in a forum that is a safe place for them.\n\nThere is a difference between people seeing the issues caused by what is commonly called \"ADHD\" and assuming that people don't want to take their life into their hands and accept the DSM as \"fucking scripture.\" \n\nHowever, saying that people are \"invested in believing that they are sick\" is not going to make them want to listen to you. Certainly it is empowering to look at other aspects of psychology and the human spirit, but that doesn't necessarily discount the years of research by numerous scientists of multiple disciplines either. Referring to them as close-minded smug assholes is probably not going to help either.", "comment": "I mean I already knew reddit had a lot of closeminded smug assholes who are always, always right 'because science'. I just wanted to discuss ideas about ADHD that do not paint it as some kind of incurable brain disorder...I have different, empowering ideas about the psychological and even spiritual aspects of the ADHD brain...but they really, really seem so deeply invested in believing they are sick and that it is a physical 'disability', whats with that? No one was trying to take away their stimulants, I was only trying to discuss ideas that fall outside the norm. There have GOT to be people that don't accept whats been handed to them, who define themselves and their abilities on their OWN terms rather than accept whats in the DSM as fucking scripture, jesus. ", "post_id": "2klix7", "comment_id": "clmt8st"}, {"question": "I doubt dipping in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland made him unwell. Sounds more like health anxiety, assuming no blood in stools.\n\nIt can become extremely distressing, and people tend to get into vicious cycles over it.\n\nIs quetiapine the only medication he has been tried on for the severe anxiety?\n\n[Heres some self help on health anxiety - PDF](https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/Documents/Health%2520Anxiety%2520A4%2520%25202010.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwjb3-ikwt7OAhUDKsAKHdFaBJAQFggsMAI&usg=AFQjCNHQCvIFV-xB1phLydOpkrzXgPSALw)", "comment": "Any help would be much appreciated.\n\n**Brother's Stats**\n\n**Age**: 33\n\n\n**Height**: 5ft 8'\n\n\n**General Health before 4 months ago**: Very good, regular exercise (running, playing soccer etc) drank once a week (although quite a few units of alcohol), no previous cases of mental illness, relatively healthy diet, although he is a vegetarian (and has been all his life).\n\n**Weight**: 72 kg (although has decreased since he has been ill)\n\n**Race**: White British\n\n**Current Medication**  Quetiapine (one tablet at night, unsure of dosage)\n\n**Overview**\n\nSo my brother became quite ill approximately 4-5 months ago. It started as what seemed like a general bug that he (and **some** friends picked up whilst travelling in Iceland. He seemed to get mostly better but just generally felt run down and looked pale and lost some weight. His friends seemed to get completely better but he did not.\n\nAbout 4.5 months ago, he began to become quite anxious believing he had blood poisoning (this is when I first became quite concerned) as my brother is never the sort of person to become fussed or exaggerate about anything. So my parents took him to the hospital to do some blood tests. At this point he said his main problem was feeling very weak all over and just exhausted as well as 'achy'. He was going to the toilet a **lot**, which meant feeling like he needed to pass stool every 20 mins - 30 mins. He had diarrhoea and at this point looked as though he had dropped to 66 kg. He also said he needed to urinate often every 15 mins or so.\n\nThe blood tests came back fine. But my brother began to feel worse and worse. Passing a lot of gas with continued pain in his abdomen. Then he had some stress with his landlord booting him out so he moved back home with our mum and dad so they could keep an eye on him. At this point he had stopped going into work as he felt so awful. (And he never likes to miss work).\n\nMy brother decided to go to a private clinic to get more intensive testing done. Stool, blood and urine tests where all done, as well as a more comprehensive stool test which was sent to the USA for analysis. The stool test came back as he continued to get worse. They showed that he had a high count of Endolimax Nana and Blastocystis Hominis, which the doctor said were normal in some people.\n\nIt then seemed as if it were some sort stomach bug and the doctor agreed and thought he may have picked it up whilst being in hot spas in Iceland. So he was given a course of anti biotics, he completed the course, but generally felt worse. He then took some probiotics as well as some herbal remedies such as oregano oil and caprylic acid etc, hoping that they would alleviate his symptoms which now seemed to be getting worse. He generally felt nauseous, and although the amount of gas and belching reduced, he still had pain in his abdomen and he continued to feel dehydrated all the time, despite drinking 2 litres of watery a day at least, as well as his urine being very dark still.\n\nAs time rolled on and continued tests showed nothing, he began to feel more anxious and obviously depressed at not being able to pin point what the problem was. This led to him to have mental break downs as the pain then 'spread to his bones', he said that he has constant cracking and pain in his joints, and feels constant malaise.\n\nHe now rocks back and forth gibbering and crying, asking and pleading to everyone to help him and he has had several 'episodes' where he has driven to A&E as he believed that 'he is in a really bad way' and 'hasn't got long left', and that something is 'eating his bones'. He paces back and forward crying 'why won't anyone help him, and he's going to die'. \n\nMy Mum and Dad have been out of their depth and although being concerned they do not know what to do. The doctors will not do anymore tests as they said 'they have checked for everything' and are now convinced that it is mental and he doesn't have any pain as nothing is showing up on any x-rays, blood tests etc. Then the doctors have now put him on quetiapine to take in the evenings to calm him down, as he literally shakes with fear and cries while scrunching his hands saying how 'doomed' he is, and how he is 'not gonna make it, so scared, so scared, he doesn't want to die' and how much of 'a bad way' he is in.\n\nAfter he was put on that drug, I think he personally got worse as he started to say weird things such as the last text message I sent him over and over again, and not really realising he was saying it. I put this down to the fact that the drug was somewhat messing with his mind.\n\nHe shows me pictures of his stool saying they are 'not normal' and I think to some degree they are not because they are a little loose. He now has a carer come around to ask him how each day is and to get him to talk about his anxiety, but he discredits them as being a waste of time as its this bug which is 'eating at his bones' and that he can feel it. Crying that 'he used to be so healthy and loved playing sport'.\n\nNow it does strike me as a mental break down of some sort, and it's certainly stressful but I know that he did lose a lot of weight and he was passing a lot of gas, and before he had a complete melt down, it did seem as if there were very visible symptoms.\n\nMy parents have pretty much given up and do believe it to be anxiety, but he showed me his urine the other day after drinking two litres of water and it was genuinely still very dark.\n\nHe has gone to various specialists who have ruled out rheumatoid arthritis, cancers etc. But now he has to start CBT (hypnotherapy) which he thinks is a complete waste of time because he feels in constant pain, and that he cannot use his hands or move his neck due to a constant clicking pain.\n\nI guess my general question is, has anyone got any experience of this? Or what would be some tests that we could do that the doctors may not have thought about?\n\nI'm quite worried because he says \"You are my only hope, no one believes me, they all think I'm crazy but I can feel my bones eroding and I've ruined everyones lives, I'm going to just kill myself, I am in constant pain and no one is listening to me\".\n\nHe physically breaks down because the pain is unbearable and it's driving him insane.\n\nHe has spoken to another doctor who has issued him with a super strong round of anti biotics as well as L-glutamine and some strong probiotics to take over a 2 week period.\n\nBut the doctor has issued them without taking another stool sample recently. \n\nWhat can I suggest, I am all out of ideas and when I look at him he is clearly broken , but I saw the physical early symptoms (the belching, the urine, the loose stools and the weight loss so I know that he wasn't faking that. I just wonder if he has got himself into a state reading so much online about endolimax nana and how it eats away at your calcium levels etc and he is convinced that he still has it and that it is destroying his bones.\n\nWould checking his vitamin levels be a good idea?\n\nI tell him he still looks healthy and he says ' No, no you don't understand, I am not, I am in a really bad way, I'm not gonna make it, I'm in so much pain, why won't anyone believe me!!!' and then he starts crying. He was never an emotional person and would never get anxious.\n\nI'm so sorry for the verbal diarrhoea and poor grammar I just had to get it all out. Any help is greatly appreciated.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "4zlz2x", "comment_id": "d6x85so"}, {"question": "Don't listen to douchebag casperrosewater. It's perfectly normal to need your parents to help you right now. However, they might not really understand the severity of the situation or want to face it right now. Try again to see if they'll find someone, if not, you call. It's tough and the mental health system is difficult, but you'll find treatment. Don't give up.", "comment": "So, I've probably had depression and social anxiety for the past two years at least, but during the past few months it's gotten progressively  worse and today I had a really bad day. I ended up exploding in front of my parents and basically pouring my guts out about how I didn't have the energy to do anything and how hopeless I felt. \n\nAfter awhile they eventually tried to call the doctor's office to get me an appointment to see him...after 10 or 15 minutes of waiting on hold they eventually referred us to another mental health establishment and they called them and they asked to speak to me directly (I didn't really feel like talking to them). They asked me a few questions like was I feeling suicidal and had I ever been to a psychiatric hospital, I told them no and they said \"well, we don't do outpatient counseling, good luck\" and hung-up.\n\nSo now I'm basically disgusted with the whole system and I'm not really sure what to do now. ", "post_id": "e0usq", "comment_id": "c14eqmi"}, {"question": "It\u2019s ridiculous to send someone to a doctor\u2019s office full of other germs, pay a copay, just for them to say \u201cyou\u2019re right Dave, you do have a cold\u201d. ", "comment": "...it should be a covered benefit. There\u2019s a fucking suggestion. I\u2019m sick of paying out of my ass every time I get sick. ", "post_id": "aio1xw", "comment_id": "eeq8i37"}, {"question": "You both should read [Trauma Stewardship](https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Stewardship-Everyday-Caring-Others/dp/157675944X). Saved my career and relationship. ", "comment": "My wife investigates child sex crimes for a living. She conducts interviews with victims and suspects, and it's grueling, heroic work.\n\nI feel guilty because now that she's been on the job for two years, sex is becoming less and less frequent. She comes home and basically spends the next three hours decompressing and then goes to bed, exhausted.\n\nI know her work is impacting her emotionally, and I try to keep things balanced with house work, taking care of the kids, and doing little things like foot massages, etc. nothing seems to get her in the mood anymore.\n\nAny advice out there .. to get my wife to forget her horrible work and concentrate on me? Am I being selfish?\n\nThank you!", "post_id": "71nklm", "comment_id": "dncau1h"}, {"question": "The person with the attacks is worried almost by definition. The treatment involves exposure with response prevention. One of the responses that should be prevented is seeking help with a percieved physical problem, that actually arises from the panic attack itself.\n\n​\n\nGiven your age and \"no meds or health issues\", I find it safe to assume that you are not going to die from a heart attack any time soon. Even though someone could theoretically have a heart attack while panicking. This confidence is what I hope you can feel. Feel confident your body is strong and healthy, that will hopefully help in your recovery.", "comment": "For the automod:\n\n37F\n5'8\n390lbs\nUnited States\nNo meds or health issues\n\nI'm always hearing people say that panic attacks are not medically dangerous, and I understand that to a degree. Panic attacks often feel like a heart attack even though it's not. But can't panic attacks *cause* heart attacks or other health issues? It feels like they could, due to the increased heart rate and blood pressure. So are they *really* not dangerous, or just not dangerous as long as you're in otherwise decent heart health? Is the statement of \"panic attacks are not dangerous\" just implying that the panic itself isn't a medical concern? Does a person with heart problems need to be more concerned about panic attacks? \n\nI hope I'm making this clear. Thank you.", "post_id": "f9xx38", "comment_id": "fiusqjg"}, {"question": "It's not always obvious what happens or why. All the components of Norgesic are still available for sale in the United States. I can find impenetrable government documentation and less official notices saying that the discontinuation was not for reasons of safety or efficacy, but I'm not certain of that.\n\nIn any case, I don't think this was a case of some terrible side effect coming to light.", "comment": "Age: 29\nSex: Female\nHeight: 5\u20194\u201d\nWeight: 115 lbs\nRace: South East Asian\nMedical issues: Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome \n\nI was prescribed Lyrica and Norgesic (Orphenadrine Citrate 35mg Paracetamol 450mg) for cervical facet syndrome and muscle spasms because Celebrex and Myonal did not work for me. After some googling I discovered that it was discontinued by the FDA but is still sold in other countries including mine. Does anyone know the reason for this, and should I be worried? ", "post_id": "atq9vg", "comment_id": "eh32wck"}, {"question": "It's work so honestly, you directly intervening is probably going to cause more problems for her than you'd help.  \n\n\nAs a boss, I'd NEVER hire someone who brought their parent or partner or anyone else in to the interview with them (not speaking to the office for support but actually demanded the person sit in on the interview.... yes I've had this happen.)  You intervening for something like this would be similar.  \n\n\nIn work situations, even if something bad is happening to you, the expectation is that you act like a mature self-sufficient adult and take care of the issue yourself, either interpersonally or by going to management.  \n\n\nIn this situation, if this were my little sister, I would coach her at how to defend herself/resolve the situation.  If it's physical bullying, I would teach her how to fight.  If it was emotional bullying, I'd teach her how to fight back with her words.  We'd practice.  If all else failed, I'd teach her the proper and professional way to bring this up with management.  \n\n\nAt the end of the day, unless their immediate safety is at risk, it's far better to teach them to do for themselves than do for them.", "comment": "A colleague of hers is probably a borderline chick. and my sister being an empath and with moderate self esteem has a problem of continuing bullying with her.", "post_id": "dq6qhw", "comment_id": "f611es8"}, {"question": "What's your medication history, to see how you got to this combination in the first place?", "comment": "I'm a 20 year old caucasian female who is 5'4\" and approx 150lbs.  I have been having problems with anxiety my whole life and have tried several things.  Well, as of today, the doc said I had a panic disorder.  Which is usually manifested in having to get away from stressors or I will \"explode or flip out\" for lack of better words.  \n\nI take daily meds for anxiety and depression.\n\nCurrently I am on: \nBupropion XL 300 tab  1t po qam\nMetoprolol Succinate ER 25 mg tab 1t po qam\nEscitalopram 20 mg tab  1t po qhs\nand\nTrazodone 50 tab  1t po qhs\n\nI am a Certified Pharm Tech and a Med Student.  So, I am familiar with these drugs and how they work and blah blah blah.  I am also aware that I am on a considerable amount of Serotonin drugs.\n\nWhen I went to the doc today, she gave me Buspirone 7.5 mg tab 1t po tid pan and panic attacks.  My suggestion was to add a small dose of a long acting benzo such as clonazepam because I am on so many serotonin altering drugs, and obviously if my serotonin cocktail isn't working, adding more probably isn't going to fix it, and nor is it really safe in my opinion.  I really don't like taking as many serotonin drugs as I do, but I can't function without it.\n\nSo,  I just kinda wanted to get some more opinions on it before I actually start taking it. My PharmD in charge seems to think as I do, and we both think it isn't going to work.  But, my main concern is adding an azaspirone to an SSRI, SARI, and an aminoketone.  \n\nIdeas?\n\nA.Rob\n", "post_id": "51p6f1", "comment_id": "d7dwfcf"}, {"question": "are you taking meds still? sounds like you needed them. if therapy hit a wall it's because you didn't maintain motivation or you didn't connect well enough to the therapist, or the therapist wasn't good. so you need to shop around and find a therapist you love going to. good that you stopped weed/cig. stop alcohol  too. if your dep/anx isn't under control the rest of your life will always suffer. mental health is the big domino.  i'm a therapist so if you need help finding the right help in your area, let me know.", "comment": "I've been with my partner (28F) for a little over three years now. She moved into my place within a month of dating. We had a fantastic first 6 months, couldn't have been more infatuated. She was my manic pixie dream girl.  Got me to try new things, challenged me. \n\nI've always had issues with depression and anxiety. I also have ADD. My apartment was a disaster zone when she moved in because I never really learned to take care of myself. After the new relationship glow faded, my depression and anxiety started hitting hard again. I became very withdrawn for a long time. I was drinking a lot and smoking a lot of weed. We would fight because she kept pushing me to be in therapy/try other coping mechanisms. I would say I would try, but any attempt I made was extremely short lived. \n\nI eventually did get on meds and did therapy for awhile. Meds took away the crippling downs, but I still don't experience highs really. Therapy was helping for awhile, but I hit a wall and stopped going. \n\nI have improved much of my life. I quit smoking cigarettes and weed. I can now cook and clean and maintain a livable space. I have a job I actually like and just started school again. But we keep getting in fights. I've been going between drinking and distancing myself from her to playing video games and distancing myself from her. She feels hurt because she puts more time and energy into improving our relationship than I do. I just feel so apathetic sometimes. \n\nI don't know if I love her anymore, or I'm just staying with her because I know she's good for me. She's also chronically ill and home bound a lot, and I am the thing that makes her happiest. She says she still gets butterflies in her stomach when I come home from work, which just breaks me heart. I don't know when I stopped feeling that way. Depression makes it so hard to tell your internal states. \n\nI don't know. This was super rambling and incoherent. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it. \n\nTldr: How do you tell if you're unhappy because your relationship is bad, or if your relationship is bad because you're unhappy?", "post_id": "5rigc8", "comment_id": "dd7iy3l"}, {"question": "The key here is not to die. As long as you're alive, things have a chance of going better. \n\nFind a program and follow it even though it's not near perfect. You could start by going to a meeting every day.\n\nKnow that everything that's hard is survivable. \n\nIf you relapse, START SMALL.  For god's sake, don't od on your regular fix. ", "comment": "Hey guys my name is alex. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder, severe anxiety and adhd.\nI'm a recovering heroin addict(in so much of recovering means if someone offered me a bundle or even a bag i would jump right on it.\nwe hear all this story of dope being laced, but when its this bad, it doesn't matter( a friend of mine overdosed on the same shit i did after finding out it killed him). his ex gave me all his shit( the shit that killed him) and i did it all and i miss it so much. i have been off my meds since late october and i dont really know what to do", "post_id": "6axeri", "comment_id": "dhifdwm"}, {"question": "no", "comment": "So I'm a Senior, he's a Sophomore, he's two years younger than me and also an inch shorter, (and I'm short myself), but maturity-wise, he, (and the other Sophomores), aren't too different from us Seniors. I think he's also dating a Senior girl.\n\nHe's hot, confident, smart, and has some awesome dancing skills, I got a hug from him and admitted to myself that I was attracted to him, including sexually.\n\nWell, I fantasized a little, but felt weird because I didn't want to even fantasize about a potential crime. Well, I looked it up, and having sexual contact with him could land me in jail for a year!\n\nI sometimes want to have *those* thoughts about him, then remind myself that I can't, I can't fantasize about a misdemeanor.\n\nAm I a pedo?", "post_id": "5zeyx2", "comment_id": "dexlyw2"}, {"question": "I don't know how common this is as a clinician recommendation, but I can answer this question:\n\n>Is there any proof that this really benefits people\n\nNo. General wellbeing between pet owners and non-pet owners is about the same. While many folks report getting great emotional comfort from their pets, there is almost certainly a self-selection piece there. No one (to my knowledge) has randomly assigned pet ownership to people (for ethical reasons), meaning we are very limited in our ability to make causal statements. The correlational research is complex and does not clearly favor one option or the other. The most reliable correlations between pet ownership and owner wellness are actually physical health related-- e.g. faster recovery after heart attacks, better cardiovascular health. But again, it's totally plausible that healthier people are more likely to take on the responsibility of having a pet. \n\nI am a huge animal lover. However, I, personally, would never recommend an animal to a client. I am happy to support people in getting an animal if they decide they want one. I also have worked with clients to make other plans to interact with animals, such as volunteering at the humane society, making a plan to walk someone else's dog on a regular schedule, or making a plan to visit another animal setting such as an aquarium (something we CAN randomly assign people to do and something that does potentially show some causal mental health benefits). In these cases, I am usually coming from a behavioral activation perspective, and would only go this route if the client expressed an interest in associating with animals. (Behavioral activation does have a robust evidence base for treatment of depression.)", "comment": " \n\nI read on another sub reddit about a woman who's \" therapist told her to get a puppy to help her cope and to help her kids deal with some stuff\"\n\n2 question\n\n1. How common is it for therapists to do this?\n2. Is there any proof that this really benefits people\n\nNow I know there are some  pet lovers who declare their animal is an ESA, just so they can bring them anywhere they want.\n\nbut telling someone who isn't necessarily interested in owning a dog that they should get one for their own good or the good of their family seems pretty irresponsible.\n\nDog are a lot of work/expensive, I would think this is a perfect recipe for dogs being neglected or sent to the pound.", "post_id": "hb2avy", "comment_id": "fv7how2"}, {"question": "sometimes these sorts of things mask underlying depression... or sometimes a little fantasy is just fun and a stress reducer....or sometimes it speaks to unresolved issues in your marriage", "comment": "I'm sick of dealing with this alone and wanted to see if you fine people have ever dealt with anything remotely similar. \n\nI'm happily married (that should be the end of this, right?) to an awesome woman I met in college, we get along great most of the time, etc. etc. life is pretty good. In my head, this should be the end of story right? Wrong. \n\nGrowing up, literally since about kindergarten, I had this huge crush on a classmate of mine. Kind of a family friend, small town so we spent lots of time together, we were \"best friends\" through grade school/middle school, whatever. \n\nTwo possibly important details about me that I think has allowed this to have a more f***ed up hold: \n\n1. Growing up I had this weird relationship with religion, kind of an \"if you pray really hard for something, it's bound to happen.\" I know this is idiotic now (you probably can't sit on your ass 24 hours a day and pray for money and have it appear, right?) \n\nBUT growing up this was where my head was at with this girl, so literally probably every night from about 5 years old to 16 or so and then off and on until 18 I was praying for this girl to want to be my girlfriend/like me back/whatever. \n\nIn short I feel like I habituated myself to kind of wanting this to happen. \n\n2. I'm ridiculously private with my personal life, and my family (mom, cousins, aunts, etc.) a lot of times made fun myself and cousins picking on us having crushes on people. \n\nI was adamant that no one (even my best dude friends when we'd talk about this stuff) ever find out about mine, so I never talked to anyone about it or gave myself a chance for an \"idiot, you actually have to do something to make it happen,\" until things were too late. \n\nFast forward into middle school (like 6th grade) and she's got a crush on me and I know it (she told me over AIM... HA, those were the days) and I'm scared to tell her I like her back but we stay super close. \n\n7th grade she moves away, we still talked all the time... she gets older starts dating other people here and there and then in high school she visited a couple times where there clear chances/signals (now that I'm not a complete idiot with women) to make a move. \n\nAfter that it was kind of this ridiculous terrible timing with our breakups. She'd be broken up when I was dating someone else and vice versa. \n\nWe ended up going to college in different places (guessing we would have ended up together if we'd gone to the same place, not saying that would be awesome or not) but our last conversation before she started getting serious with the guy she ended up marrying (kind of a side family friend from another place) was her basically asking me what I thought about it. Again, I'm like, idiot, she was telling you to say \"not until I get a chance take you out it's not.\"\n\nShe gets married young, I'm already dating my future wife, and now we're both married. \n\nPlease don't think the fact that nothing ever ACTUALLY happened romantically between us is lost on me. I feel like a relatively intelligent guy in other areas of my life and this makes zero sense to me. \n\nHere's the real kicker, this shit doesn't screw me up too bad during the day. There have been times where I'll think about what could have been when shit gets rougher with the wife (which I think is probably pretty normal), but it would be fine and good but for the fact that I swear every other night I dream about some scenario where we end up together. \n\nIt's like this unconscious emotional affair that I WANT to get rid of but can't. \n\nI'm hoping \"talking\" about it will help. \n\nThanks for the time and please post any and all advice or berating below. \n\ntl;dr kind of having an unconscious emotional affair with an old 'what could have been' that I WANT to get rid of but can't. \n\n", "post_id": "68m0gu", "comment_id": "dgzh8ot"}, {"question": "\"I know it's dangerous...\" \"I do it when I'm sad.\"\n\nPlease see a mental health specialist.", "comment": "Whenever I get really sad or anxious I always get the extreme urge to go walk. Never fails that it\u2019s 11 pm-3am ish. And I get the urge because I know something bad could happen. Anyone else do this? And anyone have tips for fighting that urge? ", "post_id": "9q13ub", "comment_id": "e86b21g"}, {"question": "you're clearly not comfortable doing this, so don't", "comment": "A boy and I have been texting lately and he asked me on a date. I said yes not realizing what a player he is. He has talked to me about it but I've been kindly rejecting it cause I'm too young and my parents would kill me. He didn't get the hint tho. I can't help but feel guilty for getting involved with him. I haven't really had a boyfriend before so I don't know if it's normal to have anxiety attacks because of this. I feel like an awful person.Please help. ", "post_id": "5o8f2s", "comment_id": "dchf3qh"}, {"question": "I strongly recommend against it. The studies looking at marijuana and risk lean towards marijuana probably triggering lasting psychosis (schizophrenia) in people who have high family risk and who might not otherwise develop schizophrenia.\n\nThat's not a guarantee that it would cause terrible harm, but it's an elevated risk of serious harm. Why take that?", "comment": "Age: 20\n\nSex: M\n\nHeight: 6 ft.\n\nWeight: 176 Lbs\n\nRace: Caucasian\n\nDuration of complaint: permanent.\n\nLocation: Canada (physically... Brain)\n\nMy father is inherently skitzophrenic, I've shown no signs of this illness or mental duress but the issue is genetic, I hear smoking weed is a trigger for skitzophrenia, is this true? or should I be fine if I want to smoke pot with a cousin?", "post_id": "hs67rq", "comment_id": "fy9gjuy"}, {"question": "I just searched reddit for \"forever alone\" because that's how I feel. Maybe sharing my story will help...?\n\nI've been feeling really alone at college lately and have gone out just once this entire semester. I forced myself to contact someone tonight and he told me to meet him and his friends at a frat house at 11. I showered, put on makeup, got all dressed up, and headed over there. I texted my friend and got no response. I went inside, asked around, couldn't find him. There was barely anyone there and the few who were were all freshmen. I left, still hoping to get a response. I drove to the bar where a lot of people hang out, but it looked pretty deserted so I didn't go in. There's 24 hour grocery store around the corner, so I went in and picked up milk and candy for trick-or-treaters... *Forever alone.*\n\nBut guess what? Tonight, we're alone together.", "comment": "Help?", "post_id": "dyxiw", "comment_id": "c13yzw6"}, {"question": "\"She says she's lost the physical desire for me, and actually doesn't enjoy it if I touch her like holding her waiste or hands. It's odd, but she also always hated when other people would touch her (including her parents).\"\n\nThis is huge.  You would have to love her a LOT and be very PATIENT . This will take a LONG time to resolve. I would suggest couple therapy/", "comment": "Previous post link will be in the bottom.\n\nOk so a lot of weird stuff happened after we broke up. She mentioned she wanted to stay in touch with me, which was tough for me. She started texting me the same day and overal being like usual - fun, energetic, joking, caring... She even invited me to an exhibition. \n\nA few people suggested that she jsut wants to remain friends with me, etc. . . \n\nAfter a few days of just texting and making plans for the exhibition (although my responses were usualy not quick and not so enthusiastic), she asked if I'm mad at her. She opened up the topic of the breakup basically and whatnot... what surprised me is how much leverage I had over the situation (usually the person wanting breakup is the one with the stronger 'hand', after all they can just walk away and have stopped caring anyways)...\n\nThis time she asked what my solution is and afterwards agreed to continue trying to make things work out with each other. She says she's lost the physical desire for me, and actually doesn't enjoy it if I touch her like holding her waiste or hands. It's odd, but she also always hated when other people would touch her (including her parents). \n\nDuring this conversation, I could actually feel how she was so afraid of losing me that she overcame her usually impulsive 19 temper and asked what I can offer, so she doesn't get to lose me. Made me feel like I'm the one breaking up with her and not vice versa. \n\nHere's the oddest part, when I asked her if she wants things to work out and her to gain the same physical desire for me and all, to which she said yes.\n\nSo yeah, we're here now. She keeps saying how she enjoys me as a person and wants to spend more time with me, and also mentioned how she'd be happy if things work out again and we become a normal couple. \n\nWhat do you guys think about this? I know I should do the whole 9 yards of 'be yourself' and all that, but what should I do in this case? Be less enthusiastic or more enthusiastic? I need female's perspective on this.\n\n\n\nPrevious post: \nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/74tyhs/gf19f_says_she_doesnt_have_any_physical_feelings/", "post_id": "75y7zu", "comment_id": "do9taad"}, {"question": "Therapist here. I do not hear any trauma history or symptoms of PTSD. Sounds like anxiety and perhaps depression, although I don\u2019t have enough information to be certain about depression. Definitely consider seeing a therapist and I would recommend DBT. If you can\u2019t find a DBT practitioner then CBT would be my second preferred treatment approach.", "comment": "Lately, I have been feeling like I've just gotten done crying, I'm about to cry, and I'm crying all at the same time. I have mild anxiety from time to time and in the worst case, I have full blown panic attacks where I need to hide and spend 20 minutes breathing and crying. It was worse before where I would constantly relive the bad moments and frequently wake up at 4am and vomit my guts out before work.  \n\n\nI think it was due to a terrible rejection /breakup and my past history with women (and how they've treated me) that I suddenly mentally broke down. This has been continuing for a good year now. I need to see a therapist but I am not sure what kind of therapist I need to see. Should I see a general therapist or is there a specific practice I should look for?", "post_id": "brlsgt", "comment_id": "eofdt2r"}, {"question": "This is a really interesting question.  \n\nOn the surface, I'd answer, No.... it's not appropriate for a therapist to yell at their clients.  In fact, I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to yell at someone else unless maybe it's a defense against physical harm.  \n\n\nSome things to consider, what is \"yelling\" vs. \"raising voice/etc.\"  is VERY subjective, especially depending on each person's culture and family of origin.  Just for instance, I grew up in the suburb of a major Northeast city.  Many folks in my family were very loud and I'd say yelled a lot.  My wife grew up in the mid-west to what I would consider a very reserved family.  What she considers \"really yelling\" I almost consider \"slightly raised voice\".  What I consider yelling is terrifying to her.  It's very possible there might be some cultural difference between you and your therapist in this manner and they don't perceive to be yelling at you at all.  This might be worth a discussion.  \n\n\nOne other consideration, often times therapists will model the behavior that we'd like our client to engage in.  If some of your work has centered around you increasing your assertiveness, the therapist may be raising their voice, yelling, expressing frustration as a way to model what this looks like to you in a healthy way.  \n\n\nThen again.... your therapist could also just have anger issues and this is all something that is highly inappropriate.  I don't know, just thought I'd add my 2 cents!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "d62uvm", "comment_id": "f0pn3vg"}, {"question": "I have always had a weird relationship with my social anxiety.  I have a ton but I also am a bit of an adrenaline junkie.  I've performed music on stage more times than I can count and if it's been a little while, getting up there makes me feel like my skeleton is going to jump out of my skin.  Thankfully it hasn't yet.  \n\nI think one of the main things that adds to social anxiety is forgetting that what you see and are aware of within yourself is not at all what the others see.  For instance, when I play a song, I know exactly how I want it to sound down to every chord and every sung note.  If it's a little off, I get upset.  I also get upset that everyone else can see exactly how nervous I am.  \n\nIn reality, they have no idea.  It's taken me a very long time of people telling me they're \"shocked to even hear I have such high social anxiety because it doesn't show\" to believe they're telling the truth.  \n\nThe take away, nobody out there knows you're nervous unless you say it during the presentation or continuously apologize for any miniscule mistake you might make (that nobody probably would've even noticed if you don't bring attention to it).  \n\nPractice your presentation.  Practice presenting it in a few different ways as when your nerves kick in, it might be an incredible presentation, but not the one exact way you pictured it in your mind.  That's okay!  You'll power through it.  \n\nHonestly, when it comes to school, most people are scared to death to get up in front of people and give a presentation.  Almost everyone feels some sense of panic and think everyone can see it, when most people can't.  \n\nBest of luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)   ", "comment": "I used to be good at it.  But ever since my social anxiety kicked in, I've gotten worse and worse at it.  Even shit like saying here when roll is called gets me a little anxious sometimes.  I have to present a small power point about myself in spanish class.  I am freaking out about it.  Especially since school has just started and I am not comfortable with my class at all.  Fuck, help.", "post_id": "6vvnoz", "comment_id": "dm3m1j1"}, {"question": "My wife gave up her cats for me in 1978. Of course there were no allergy shots for cats back then. I would have taken them.     Now I sleep with our cat and dog, as my allergies waned over time. it's tough when you love animals. He's making a choice too; a choice to not even try. A tough one.", "comment": "I'm [30s/f] with a wonderful man [30s/m] who is unfortunately severely allergic to my 2 cats. He can't and won't live with cats. He's not willing to try the medication or filters or anything else, and there isn't really a compromise that involves keeping the cats.\n\nI LOVE my cats, but I love people more and I want a future with this man. My family will take the cats, and they will have a very happy life with them where I can visit. Rationally, I accept that this is what is best for my partner, the cats, the relationship, and my future.\n\nEmotionally, however, this sad conclusion isn't sitting well. I cry about this a lot. \n\nWhat I wonder about is, how will I feel when they are gone? Will I always feel an emptiness when I open the door and don't see furry friends running up to greet me? When I'm watching tv and they are not there leaning against me or on my lap? When I see friends posting pics on FB of their furry friends?\n\nI hope and pray that we will have children soon, and I know that will be a far more powerful bond and love than the cats. But I worry about how I will feel if that takes a long time, as it very well might. Will I miss the cats forever? Will I be able to not hold it against him?", "post_id": "6fb9u0", "comment_id": "digvgfu"}, {"question": "It's normal to have swelling around where a procedure was done, which is where the numbing solution would be injected. So yes, I think so.", "comment": "Age: 28  Healthy Length: 1 Day\n\nNormal numbing injection for cyst removal on scalp. Is it normal for swelling to occur in the area where numbing solution was injected after the procedure is completed?", "post_id": "b5fo5t", "comment_id": "ejd6tbt"}, {"question": "I obviously can\u2019t say anything diagnostic or make treatment recommendations based off of a Reddit post, but you might consider that your recent emotional disturbances aren\u2019t just due to ADHD. Being laid off after 19 years at the same company is a huge life event, and it will likely take some time to process and understand what kind of impact it may be having on you. Difficulty concentrating, lacking motivation, and feeling sad/down are also symptoms of depression. Again, I of course could never diagnose you, but it does seem relevant that these feelings/symptoms have increased and become more disruptive to your life since you left your job. \n\nI would encourage you to be as kind, patient and gentle with yourself as you can, recognize that you\u2019re going through a major change in your life, and consider that there is probably going to be a period of adjustment to this change, during which you may experience a variety of emotions - and that all of this is perfectly normal and to be expected. Even positive life changes, like getting married or having a child, are to some degree disruptive and stressful. Humans like habit and predictability, and find change difficult. I think getting back into therapy would be to your benefit. While you are waiting, perhaps you could let trusted friends and family know what you\u2019re experiencing and ask for support. At the very least, that will mean that you aren\u2019t alone in this, and that knowledge alone can be a huge comfort. \n\nAs far as concrete steps you can take right now, there are self help type workbooks that you could use. A common technique therapists use to address motivation and encourage behavioral changes is called behavioral activation. It\u2019s a component of CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. I\u2019ve not personally used a workbook specific to this topic, but it might be worth looking into. I did a quick search and found this one:\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Depression-One-Step-Time/dp/1572243678/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=behavioral+activation+workbook&qid=1561663844&s=gateway&sprefix=behavior+acti&sr=8-1", "comment": "As the title says I was laid off on May 31st after 19 years with the same company. I was also diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago but have been unmedicated due to medicine not being approved by a combination of my primary care and a psychologist. I have been waiting for my wife's insurance to kick in so I can go back to therapy. \n\nEvery day for the past two weeks I have been having total breakdowns daily, usually it comes from being completely overwhelmed with too many simultaneous tasks and my brain having to make order of all of them before I proceed and not being able to. I just come to a complete stop. I have made no progress since my last day of work to obtain new employment. A couple of networking meetings with acquaintances but that is about it. Any tools or strategies for some temporary relief for my overwhelmed ADHD brain until insurance kicks in again?", "post_id": "c4bfo5", "comment_id": "es75gqe"}, {"question": "You know what, fuck it.  You should TOTALLY take the juvenile route.  Make up some idiotic rule (like always backing in) and enforce the fuck out of it.  Take his shit if he doesn't comply.  Throw a hissy.  Show him what it's like and be like \"I'm just trying to bring us closer by acting like you act.\"", "comment": "You don't have to treat me like I'm a fucking kid, or like I'm stupid. You don't have to set my purse and keys in the middle of the living room and say \"You have five minutes to put these away or ____ (insert threat)\". You don't have to stand over me while I pay bills to make sure that I \"actually pay them\". You don't have to threaten me when I say that I don't want to do something.\n\nSeriously, you would not survive one single day without me, so learn to have some respect for your spouse or you'll learn how hard life is when you don't have someone around to do everything for you. \n\n\n**Update**: First of all, thank you everyone for the responses, support and advice. It really is helping me. I'm reading every comment and slowly chipping away at replying to them. All day I've just been checking on my phone, so it's been hard to write until now. \n\nAnyways, I just got home a bit ago and it's been an eventful-ish night. My husband and I went to dinner at my parents house. We're on our way home about to turn left onto our street and my husband (who wasn't paying attention I'm guessing) starts to turn into an oncoming car, almost t-boning him. He stops and the other car stops, then they both start going at the same time and my husband swerves into the oncoming lane, coming SO close to hitting this other guy. I gasped as an uncontrolled reaction, and he yelled \"shut the fuck up\" to me. \n\n\nAfter we got home, he slammed his door as he got out. I couldn't deal with him, so I just sat in the car. I didn't go anywhere because it was late, so the only place I could go really was just driving around. After about 5 minutes of just sitting, he came out and said \"OKAAAAY, what's wrong?\". I told him that I'm over the way he treats me and he asks if I want a divorce. I say \"No, I want you to not treat me like shit\". He responds with \"well, I don't know what to tell you then. That's just how I am\".\n\n\nSo, now we're both home. He's sleeping now. Today was actually really good up until that point. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard while we were at my parents house, I was reminded of why I'm still hanging on here. Then that happened and pretty much ruined it. \n\n\nI said somewhere in my replies that I randomly clicked a day on my calendar and set \"think about it\" as a reminder with the intentions of leaving that day if things weren't better. I definitely am going to stick to that. And I've looked up therapists in my area to talk to in the mean time. \n\n\nSo, we will see I guess. I'm going to bed now though. Tomorrow night I'm going to try and reply to everyone that I haven't gotten to yet. Have a good night, Reddit. ", "post_id": "2aallt", "comment_id": "cit99z1"}, {"question": "I agree with the other well thought out responses. \n\nYou are right that SSRIs only help about 30% of people . Still,  they are the starting point for several reasons. \n\nI am not going to repeat what has been said,  but you asked about studies. \n\n\nhttps://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4613-0381-7_5\n\n.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4728667/\n\nhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5864293/\n\nhttps://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0269881117725915", "comment": "This might be better question for an ask a psychiatrist subreddit but I saw there isn't one today but I thought it would be good to get the opinion of therapists on this\n\nI know when clients go through therapy, therapy can be accompanied by SSRIs/sertonin re-uptake inhibitors as medication.\n\nTherapy is important for working through a client's thoughts and belief systems but what does serotonin have anything to do with improving the mental well-being of a client?\n\nI understand influencing GABA(inhibitor neurotransmitter) levels for treating anxiety but why serotonin?\n\nI think influencing dopamine levels(via herbs, supplementation, non-addictive reuptake inhibitors)  makes more sense. Dopamine generally makes you feel better(pleasure)", "post_id": "fiw0o7", "comment_id": "fkjtb7q"}, {"question": "How do you define a good GP?", "comment": "My wife and I recently moved to Auburn, Al and have yet to actively find a doctor. I recently turned 40 and  although I've had a general physical for the past 6 years I feel it's time to see a doctor. Can anyone recommend a way of finding a good GP without just randomly selecting one off the internet?", "post_id": "4yjc17", "comment_id": "d6o8v6q"}, {"question": "Pictures or we can't trust you were really that lit and wasted on motivation and follow through. ", "comment": "That\u2019s right. Was TURNTTT up on sobriety yesterday and spent 13 hours building a platform loft bed with 4 feet of storage underneath. Best hangover of my life!!\n\nHonestly, sobriety is awesome. I have way less anxiety, and I\u2019m learning to enjoy life again.\n\n[Photos of the loft bed!](https://imgur.com/a/KUJBSI4) ", "post_id": "au914b", "comment_id": "eh7nvux"}, {"question": "Personality is a dubious concept. No one has fixed behavior in all contexts at all times. Behavior is complementary. The victimizer needs a victim and the victim roll isnt the least powerful position.", "comment": "While I'm in agreement with the scope of posting here, I do find value in the observation of conditions relating to Type II personalities, the NPR, BPD, HPD, APD groups and the comorbidity occurrences. Having experienced trauma at the hands of some of these indiviuals, I ask, is some value found by any of you in the findings of psychology, versus it's practiction? Thoughts?", "post_id": "7gtp7i", "comment_id": "dqn4md8"}, {"question": "Sounds more like anxiety/trauma than psychosis tbh. Pretty unlikely on sertraline too. But don't know you so cant give a proper answer.", "comment": "\nHallucinations\n\nHi! I\u2019ve been on Sertraline for almost a year now. On 150mg a day. I\u2019ve been to hundreds of doctors as I keep neglecting my treatment and moving but each dr increases my dose and pushes me out the door.\n\nRecently I\u2019ve been having severe symptoms, I\u2019ve been really strongly visually hallucinating. I\u2019m not talking about like an odd shape I literally imagined the floor crumbling underneath me and was convinced I was going to drop in to hell. I saw stuff like the world look like I was trapped in a game, and lots of dark haunting scary looking people. In the night I kept walking up as I was certain I heard someone walking in the house and kept seeing someone walk in to the room who wasn\u2019t there. I\u2019ve been having severe tremors so sometimes I can\u2019t pick anything up and I wake up in the night soaked in sweat. \n\nI was wondering if anyone had a similar experience? Do you think this could be the tablets?", "post_id": "fhkcma", "comment_id": "fkbpw88"}, {"question": "as long as he gets around to answering the question, it's ok", "comment": "Just wanted some quick advice peeps!\n\nI've noticed if my bf and I have a disagreement, could be simple of me annoyed about something small or maybe he said something I didn't like, that if I confront him about it he seems to become very introspective. Like he will be silent and I can see he's thinking hard, but it confuses me that he needs to think that much.  He will say 'I don't know why I said that' or 'I'm trying to think of why I would've done that' etc.\n\nSo the other day we had a similar situation, and I explained to him that the way he said something hurt my feelings and made me feel confused about why he did it. Again quiet. Not like defensive being a dick quiet, but just like stuttering and trying to think again! So I told him that I'm getting annoyed that every time we talk he just never seems to know why or how something happened. I told him that if I do things that hurt him I always acknowledge it and apologize for making him feel badly, and that in a relationship we need to acknowledge each other's feelings always and apologize if we unintentionally did something wrong. \n\nI know people handle issues differently, heck my sis and I have two complete opposite ways of handling differences, but is his responses normal? \n\nHe basically knew he screwed up in the moment and just shouldn't have said something. But he tried to come up with possible reasons why he did it. I told him that it sounds like he knows he screwed up and that he should just apologize instead of making weird excuses up. He realized that. I think he just gets embarrassed when he does something dumb and tries to cover it up. I told him he need to work on that because we need to be honest always even if mistakes are made. \n\nThoughts ?", "post_id": "6vsty2", "comment_id": "dm2ovi4"}, {"question": "LOVE THIS SONG NOW! So what I feel like every day haha", "comment": "Air Traffic Controller - Hurry Hurry is basically the ADHD anthem. It's even bouncy and fast enough for my brain! (favourite running song)\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmHmcpvD8Xo\n\n\n*And on my way to seize the day, I start to think \nDid I leave something on the counter by the sink\ncheck my pockets, nevermind\nHurry hurry there's no time*\n\n*I say let's work, but i'm the jerk, who's late again\nAnd they know well that I was up til 4am\nThis should be easier I guess\nhurry hurry what a mess*", "post_id": "62yz3g", "comment_id": "dfsb19r"}, {"question": "Tell the therapist exactly that. Say that you have tried to process this before and were unable. Maybe think about how other therapists have had you open up. Perhaps there is something that the therapist thinks would be helpful just stop you up. Does that make sense?", "comment": "I have a counseling appointment tomorrow and I\u2019m finally going to talk to the counselor about what happened to me. I\u2019m very nervous because I\u2019ve been avoiding the issue for years, and everything has been bubbling back to the surface these past few days. How can I avoid shutting down when I get to the appointment? It\u2019s happened before, and I just don\u2019t end up talking about my trauma. But I want to unpack what happened and get some closure. How do I force myself to confront it?", "post_id": "d5gd2e", "comment_id": "f0lnozy"}, {"question": "A therapist can stop seeing someone or refuse to see them for any reason.  It could be something as simple as they don't like the color of their shirt one day (Although something as trivial as this I'd argue would be really bad practice, but technically not unethical).  So long as they provide appropriate referrals when asked, ethically, they can refuse to provide service or stop at any time.\n\n\nThe only thing we can't do as it would be deemed unethical is to ghost a client.  We can't decide we want to stop seeing them and not at least make an attempt to notify them and provide referrals.  Once we've notified them, there's nothing else we have to do ethically.  \n\n\nNow.... in this case, after working with someone for 5 years straight, I would expect her to at least give you a quick telephone conversation as to why she isn't, even though she isn't obligated to.  That's what I would do at least.  \n\n\nLastly, if you worked with a therapist for 5 years straight and don't feel like you made substantial progress towards your goals, it's probably best to find a new therapist.  I tell folks (even and especially my own clients) that if even after 1 year you don't feel like you've gotten a lot out of therapy and/or met/made very noticeable progress towards some of your major goals, you should look to change therapists.", "comment": "\u2b50\ufe0f", "post_id": "dmwiiw", "comment_id": "f55rgsl"}, {"question": "Sorry this happened to you. What a dirt bag he is. Glad you are taking with your sponsor about it and staying positive. Wishing you the best", "comment": "i made an anonymous post here from a throwaway account a while back, couldn't get back into it, and figured I would make a permanent account. I had made the post trying to figure out if I should or shouldn't go through with this \"relationship\" that a guy in my home group wanted to start. The general consensus is that it did not sound like traditional 13th stepping, I also felt like he was being sincere. \n\n​\n\nWe were all wrong. Very, very wrong. I'm also in my mid twenties and am pretty fresh out of a divorce so I haven't dated much and, thus, lack a lot of experience when it comes to spotting red flags and actually listening to my gut. \n\n​\n\nI've known this guy for about 4 months. I'm going through a lot of alcohol related legal trouble and he's been a great support person this whole time. About a month ago we went to the movies. I thought as just friends and it ended with a kiss. After that we went on probably a dozen or so dates. He wanted to meet my family, wanted me to meet his family, etc. \n\n​\n\nI was a little put off as to how much he was pushing for sex before we were even together (he said he wanted to take things slow as far as moving forward to a relationship but definitely didn't seem to want to take things slow when it came to getting physical. That should have been a red flag). So after spending almost every day together, frequently turning down advances for sex, etc. I finally gave in on Friday night when he came over to watch a movie. I told him \"I really would rather wait, I don't want this to change anything between us\" and he told me \"if anything, it will just make us closer\". \n\n​\n\nLike a FUCKING IDIOT, I gave in. \n\n​\n\nWhat do I get 36 hours later? A text, telling me he needs to make an amends for having sex with me. I was very confused about what he was talking about, and he told me that he didn't see a relationship going anywhere and wanted to just be friends and that he was sorry he lied to me about it. \n\n​\n\nI guess if anything, I learned my lesson. I didn't need another reason to not trust people but he definitely gave me one. I'm angry at myself for not having more of a guard up, I'm angry at myself for not sticking to my boundaries. \n\n​\n\nI'm angry at him because this is apparently a pattern with him and I'm angry that he is preying on other young women in the program. I talked with another younger girl in my homegroup about what happened and apparently he is a habitual 13th stepper and \"gets em while they're still shaking\". He tried the same thing with her and a handful of other young girls in the program apparently. \n\n​\n\nI talked to my sponsor and told her I didn't want to go back to my homegroup anymore and she told me \"absolutely not, that man is a predator. The only thing you did wrong was not listen to your intuition and you trusted the wrong person. You keep going and warn every young girl in that group of what he does and he can find a new homegroup if it makes him uncomfortable that his predatory behaviour is being exposed\". So I'm not leaving my homegroup, and I'm going in with confidence and just focusing on the real reason I'm there and that is to try and stay sober for another day! \n\n​\n\nI am at least happy that I learned a lesson from this and that's to not date within the first year. Really wish I had listened to that advice.", "post_id": "ehs37f", "comment_id": "fclfm6o"}, {"question": "An AST And ALT in your range is very mildly elevated. In some diseases (like viral hepatitis) they can be elevated into the thousands. I would also probably think that non alcoholic fatty liver disease is a likely candidate. It can be managed or improved wth weight loss. What do your triglycerides look like?", "comment": "I just got an email of my CMP results, to check my liver and kidney from being on Metformin.  I have two things that are flagged as high from the test. \nAST is a 48 (normal range is 0-33) and my ALT is an 81 (normal range is 7-40).\n\nThe last CMP I had, my AST was 21 and my ALT was a 41; which was done April 7th 2015.\n\nDoes anyone know what this could mean?  I tried not to WebMd any of this, since I know it would cause me to panic.  I know I should wait for my doctor to contact me, but when you get email results you can't help but freak out when you see things flagged as high.", "post_id": "41b6bb", "comment_id": "cz1juxh"}, {"question": "I started saying thank you and doing it anyway, now I thank my car when it dings to remind me my lights are still on. Lol", "comment": "It's like I have the thought of doing in my mind and I'm contemplating it, then out of nowhere someone will say \"don't forget to (insert chore/homework/thing here) and surprise! I now no longer have any want or will or desire to do it anymore. \n\nI think it's partly because I don't want them thinking I did it because they reminded me lol", "post_id": "jzpges", "comment_id": "gde342i"}, {"question": "The amount of radiation in one X\\-ray is quite small. Depending on exactly what kind, it's usually the equivalent of a few days to months of background radiation. I would be careful about getting repeated CT scans because they involve much more radiation, but plain X\\-rays are not a big deal.", "comment": "28/m/89kg/6ft/caucasian/smoker/\nI had a medical exam last tuesday(utc+8) and the hospital called me and said they had \"findings\" on my chest x-ray. They x-ray'd from my back. It is now thursday and they adviced that I get another x-ray but in APICOLORDOTIC VIEW. Is it safe to get another x-ray after just a day and a half? The nurse in that hospital told me there would be no problems.", "post_id": "8k2u77", "comment_id": "dz4mmki"}, {"question": "not at all. go for it.", "comment": "I'm a 17 year old guy who's been seeing a girl a little more than a year younger than me (I was born July 1999, she was born October 2000). Is this weird or inappropriate considering I'm a senior and she's a sophomore, and would it be considered weird or inappropriate if we were to continue seeing each other next year when I go to college nearby?", "post_id": "66acmx", "comment_id": "dgguk3z"}, {"question": "Mainly cumulative exposure (over your lifetime) is the biggest problem, though obviously drinking serious amounts in a short space of time is a toxic risk.\n\nTheres no great evidence for drinking over, say, a week. Ultimately its common sense drinking thats safest.", "comment": "There have been conflicting studies as to whether or not a drink or two a day is good/bad/neither, but I've seen quite a few studies indicating that more than X drinks in a day is bad.\n\nDoes it make any difference if you have X drinks all together or spread out over the day?  (I'm thinking of situations where you might sip your drinks over the course of an afternoon/evening, so you might consume quite a few drinks while not getting more than somewhat buzzed.)", "post_id": "6jvqre", "comment_id": "djhcqvr"}, {"question": "I work in a facility like this. Expect people who want you to talk to them, be honest and open. They can help you better if you do. It is ok to tell them how bad you feel, it is ok to drop that mask sometimes. \n\nAlso expect them to want you to do what you can for your recovery. You have influence, you have responsibility, and they may expect you to take that responsibility where and when you can.\n\nHope this helps. Do you have any more specific questions?", "comment": "I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I'm just really scared and would love to chat with someone about it or just know what to expect.", "post_id": "av1npw", "comment_id": "ehc189p"}, {"question": "Do you only work nights? Do you sleep at regular times of the day? How long have you been an night worker? Is working at regular hours an option for you?\n\nHow is your motivation to excersize and eat? Can you describe how the not sleeping goes? \n\nDo you have social interactions? How is your living situation?\n\nIs weight gain right now worse than the sleeplessness, etc?\n\nAny medical/psychiatric history?", "comment": "Age : 28\n\nSex: M\n\nHeight: 171cm\n\nWeight: 81kg\n\nBodyfat: ~15%\n\nPrimary Complaint: Nightshift worker getting 3-4hours sleep a night. Sex drive has completely gone, injury in leg seems unable to heal after two weeks of physiotherapy. Depression and anger growing at a scary rate.\n\nDuration: Nearly 1 month\n\nExisting Medical issues: None\n\nCurrent Medications: Paracetamol 500mg & Voltaren 25mg for Leg pain. Also take 6mg Melatonin & 400mg magnesium before bed to try assist sleep.\n\nRecreational: None. Don't drink, smoke or do drugs.\n\nI'm a healthy person, lift 4-5x a week as well as do cardio 3-4x a week. Eat a balanced diet consisting of 2,800cals (180g P/310g C/92g F) and drinking 4L of water per day yet I'm having some serious issues with this no sleep, depression and lack of sex drive. \n\nI've had testosterone levels checked for the sex drive issue and levels are 634ng/DL. Have quit caffeine and developed a sleep hygeine routine (blacked out room, fan, ear plugs, eye mask and supplements) with no success at all.\n\nJust went to doctor and he prescribed me 15mg Avanza (Mirtazapine) to treat my sleep, depression and leg pain but I wanted a second opinion. I'm reading a lot about people having extreme weight gain. Apart from quitting my job I can't think of anything else to fix these issues. Need help.", "post_id": "fh9zwb", "comment_id": "fka3nwb"}, {"question": "I know that you want to help out your mom because she is your MOM however by continuing to pay for her stuff she has no reason to get a job if other people will just do it for her. Please do not feel obligated to pay for these things for her you cannot help her if she won't help herself. I understand that the depression is one thing and it's great that she is getting treatment AND your needs are also important here too. This is coming from someone who is a mental health professional who ALSO has a mother with depression/ BPD traits that make her suck the emotional energy out of me with every interaction. ", "comment": "A tiny bit of backstory for you:  My mom comes from a family where depression and Alzheimer's is fairly common.  Her mom has it and I think my mom is following the same path.  In June/July of last year, my dad moved out after almost 30 years of marriage.  A couple of weeks later, my mom kicked me out of the house, and I had to live VERY frugally in my new place for quite a while before I was up on my feet.  I'm okay now, but she's not.\n\nOn December 29th, 2013, I got a call from my dad around 11:30 at night that my mom had tried to kill herself.  She spent about a week in ICU and then was moved to the psychiatric hospital, where she spent a couple of months working on herself.  While the goal for me, my sister [28f], and my dad [52m] was to get her to live with someone else (her parents, her sister's, etc), my mom's goal was to get herself healthy enough to just go back home.\n\nThat house to my mom is like a bar to a recovering alcoholic.  There are triggers there.  And that's why we didn't want her there.\n\nSHe's been going to therapy every week, group and individual, and she seems to be doing better.  My sister and her husband invite her up for dinner ever Wednesday and she comes to my apartment for dinner every Thursday.  My sister and her husband just bought a house.\n\nMy mom doesn't have a job.  She lost her job while she was in the hospital because they couldn't hold her position for her forever.  She's a nurse, and she worked at a retirement home.  A job, mind you, that she had just gotten a couple of months after being fired from her previous job for being a no-call no-show too many times.\n\nMy mom has been out of the hospital since late February, early March.  She hasn't started looking for a job.  She hasn't tried to really do much of anything besides get on unemployment (which took forever to go through) and get on medicaid so she doesn't have to pay her hospital bills.\n\nWhile this may seem cold, I think that's the lazy way out.  I think if you made that bed, you should lay in it.  Now I have been helping her in other ways.  Like the day or so after she was out of the hospital, I took her shopping.  I bought her clothes and some shoes because she had donated all of hers to the local Goodwill.  I buy her things she needs around the house (when the sump pump broke, I bought her that), I buy her dog food and dog treats for her dogs, and if we go out for lunch or dinner, I usually pick up the tab.  So I'm not leaving her high and dry and having her fend for herself.  She wanted to spend the little money she gets from unemployment on a stupid Kurig coffee maker, and I just recently got a promotion, so because I had the extra money, I bought it for her.  I'd rather she keep that money for things like groceries and dog food.\n\nNow, my mom still isn't looking for a job.  My parents are getting a divorce, but my dad will only continue to pay for her to stay in the house through the spring.  She hasn't even lifted a finger to try and find a job.  She is a part of some program where someone sends her job leads for experience and she decides whether or not she wants to do it, but she just doesn't take them.  I think she's not taking the opportunities because she's being lazy and doesn't want to work anymore.\n\nI've decided I would take her in for a maximum of two weeks if she were to suddenly become homeless.  But it would be hard for me, my boyfriend, and our three cats with her and her two medium to large sized dogs in a two bedroom apartment.  We're waiting to see what else happens and if nothing else does in a couple of months, we're going to talk to my grandpa about her and see what he can do to help us.\n\nMy sister and I feel like we're being used and she's not doing anything to help herself, and I want to know what else I can do to help her, without upsetting her.\n\nTL;DR:  Mom tried to kill herself and now isn't looking for any kind of job.  My dad is paying for her to stay in their house through the Spring, and she just won't find any kind of work and I would like to know how to approach this with her. ", "post_id": "2ariu9", "comment_id": "ciy5uvt"}, {"question": "If you plan on killing yourself, though, I don't see this as wrong. ", "comment": "Basically, be very careful about which routes you take when reaching out for help for suicidalal thoughts. \n\nI live in FL, where the Baker Act is legal. It isn't in most states. Basically it grants the state to automatically holy you for psych evaluation for 72 hours. It permanently stays on your record. \n\nThis happened to me AFTER I tried to check myself into an inpatient facility and was told I had to be \"medically cleared\" before they would admit me. So I went to the ER where I was stuck by tons of needles, hooked to an IV and fed benzodiazepines. Twelve hours later they say they only have a bed at a different facility and they have to baker act me to make sure I show up there from the time I leave the hospital to the time I arrive, so they put me in the back of a police car and escorted me there. It was a nightmare. The facility was basically 15 years behind modern health care. I feel re traumatized. But I'm out now and that's what matters. \n\nJust be careful that you don't end up in this situation. Learn your rights and your options. ", "post_id": "5uv3uo", "comment_id": "ddx7ypb"}, {"question": "You shouldn't drive again until you see your physician. Or just go to an ER or Urgent Care. But please get seen pronto.", "comment": "20/F/5'7/160lbs/Caucasian/Texas\n\nI am very active female and take Buspirone (5mg) and Kaitlib daily. \n\nI recently for the past month or so have started experiencing light headedness and a tingling sensation in both arms a few times a week. I work out often and have a labor intensive job, so I figured these were just symptoms of physical exhaustion. I've been told I should probably get it checked out, but just haven't had the time. \n\nToday however, I started experiencing the same lightheadedness, but this time I actually passed out. I passed out while driving (No injuries thankfully) but I am really concerned for my health now. Right before I passed out, I felt like I couldn't breathe or get air down. I then blacked out for (I think) roughly a minute. I came to, drank a lot of water and got my heart rate down, and then managed to make it home without another incident. \n\nI'm still lightheaded, and am trying to rest. What could possibly cause this to happen? I know it wasn't a panic or anxiety attack, and I normally do not black out during those anyway. \n\nIf I see a medical professional, is there a specific doctor I need to go to besides a GP? I'm worried about this combined with the tingling sensations in my arms. I'm worried it may be heart problems. \n\nAny advice is appreciated!", "post_id": "blhdb5", "comment_id": "emof8e2"}, {"question": "go to couple counseling or end it. too much of a roller coaster...", "comment": "So me and my gf have been dating and living together for the past year. Our relationship was good for the most part she loved me very much, more than any girlfriend I'd ever had. She is the nurturing type. In the last 6 months we had moved to her home state where she knows people and has a bad past. This stresses her out a lot as it is plus her father just passed away. lately for the last 6 months it seems every month she wants to decide and up and leave and live with her mother because it's either she needs a break, she unhappy, loves me and cares for me but doesn't know she's in love w me. Or whatever something. These break ups have lasted at max 2-3 days with her coming back to the house unexpectedly and me saying nothing and her saying \"well do u want to talk or what?\" Basically trying to get back together with me because she realizes she loves me or hates living with her mother lmao! But idk it's not like she couldn't find some other dude to live with because she banging. 10/10. Italian small waist big butt :( but anyways last time she said she really loves and cares about me but doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore and needs to be alone so she can try to be happy or something to that extent. She texted me that and I texted her to come home and talk and I love her and called her but no answer. So now I'm just not gonna talk to her I guess until she's ready. But like is this relationship worth it. Yea I get she's in a bad place with bad memories and her dad died and her family broken and she kinda crazy. The doctors try and give her xanax and anti depressants. But is this worth the heartache. Because I've come to love her. I haven't always been the best boyfriend. In fact up until recently a lot of people would call me a piece of Shit just because I don't work and me and her have fought before and I've went to far but idk. She seems to be the only girl that really cared about me in the relationships I've been in and even now when she's trying to leave me she's wants to say she loves me and it's her. Do u think she's pms and will come back? Should I move on? Does she really love me? Shit sucks lol. I stress her out to by not working but our house and bills are payed for but she works and goes to school. She wants me to take care of myself lol. Give me advice", "post_id": "771149", "comment_id": "doi5ykc"}, {"question": "First, it might be helpful for you to try to remove the term \"crazies\" from your vocabulary. \n\nIt might be worth it to see if your unit could look into pursuing/receiving training in working with the mentally ill. Perhaps a local NAMI chapter would know more. \n\nUltimately, prison is likely the worst environment for someone who is a acutely mentally ill as it is extremely stressful. I wish you the best of luck and am grateful that you care.  ", "comment": "I am a corrections officer in PA. Since all the mental hospitals except for like 4 in this state have been shut down due to funding, all the crazies are being sent to jail. I work at a county jail so we get them right when they first come off the street. Many have drug problems. Actually, most of them. \n\nWe have precautions in place to protect staff, other inmates, and themselves from harm. We get lots and lots of bipolar and schizophrenic people in here. We usually place anyone we feel is not all there in the head on a suicide watch. Suicide watch 1 and 2 levels. A level 1 is to be checked on every 5 minutes and only allowed to have a suicide smock and suicide blanket. That's it. No socks, panties, nothing. Level 2 are to be checked on every 15 minutes and can have a normal jumper, a pillow but no pillow case, and a normal blanket.\n\nThey are both locked in at all times. Only allowed out to shower on 1st shift. Level 2's are allowed a phone call. Level 1's are not.\n\nAnyway, we have people in here on levels because of their mental illness who will flood their cells, scream all day and night, bang on the walls, floors, doors, throw poop/pee, smear poop/pee on the walls and themselves etc. Some have tried to kill themselves before. They all seem to hallucinate and have no touch with reality. Many believing that someone or something harmful is in the cell with them and trying to get out. Let that be a person, an animal, poison etc. \n\nI feel bad for them because they can't help that they have this condition. However, the ones that act crazy like this are refusing their medication for one reason or another. Many times it is the belief that we are trying to poison them. Paranoia is apparent in almost all of them.\n\nThey will ask and say bizarre things. Such as saying they are not in jail, that there is an animal in their cell, playing in their toilet, thinking that animals live in their toilet, etc. \n\nMany times I try to soothe them. Like if they are freaking out over a dog being in the room barking. I'll tell them that there is nothing in there. Sometimes this works but most times it does not. It will just turn into some other irrational fear. \n\nThe best thing to do I believe is to try to soothe them but if it doesn't work then just ignore them. All the other CO's suggest doing the same thing. Ignore them and they will stop eventually. \n\nIs there any other advice you can give to me that will help in dealing with these people? Sometimes they are dangerous and there have been times when they have attacked CO's and had to be tasered or pepper sprayed. Obviously caution is needed when dealing with any inmate but it is wise to be even more concerned when dealing with crazies. Any advice is welcome and appreciated. \n\nJust a note, I am not mean to any inmates. I treat them all with respect like I would treat my own friends and family. I don't have a mean bone in my body but sometimes I do find myself very frustrated with inmates when all they do is yell/scream/bang all night and day. They disrupt the whole housing unit and make other inmates irritable and want to fight. Sometimes I wish the lieutenant would just tase them or threaten them so they stop. This method has worked a few times. \n\nThe LT will come up and aim the taser at them. The inmate sees the red light and realizes that they are in trouble. The LT tells them if they don't stop that they will be tased. Usually they stop. However, sometimes, there isn't enough cause for the LT to get involved. The inmate must be harming themselves or others or causing great destruction inside their cells like barricading themselves in, breaking things, etc. If the inmates don't go too extreme there is nothing we can do but deal with the BS.\n\nThey really do make work stressful when they are causing chaos because I can't do anything else but deal with them. and the other inmates get angry because their needs aren't being met.", "post_id": "4frpzk", "comment_id": "d2cotgg"}, {"question": "I have that same type of intrusive thought, except mine is more about me accidentally crushing others\u2019 bones.\n\nAhhh I hate these thoughts. And they wax and wane in intensity, but lately they have been strong and frequent.\n\nSorry you are going through this!", "comment": "It's hurts just thinking about it but I can't stop. This is part of OCD right? Does anyone else do this?", "post_id": "az82pv", "comment_id": "ei5yavk"}, {"question": "I've had this for about 10 years now off/on. Started after a severe case of bacterial diarrhea and since I've had panic attacks and anxiety regarding bathroom availability. I've done some research and though it's not a recognized phobia like emetophobia, it's pretty common. I've talked to a few people that developed it just by learning about it as a worry (and because their own anxiety was really bad and looking for new worries). \n\nBreathing exercises and self talk have helped more than anything else though I'm not going to say that I'm turn down an Ativan while flying or a long car ride with a bunch of people I don't know. \n\nFor me at least, a huge portion of the issue is an unreasonably fear of what will happen if I don't make it, though I (almost) always do and though I've pooped in a plastic bag a few times, I never burst into flames while being mocked, which is what my body believes is going to happen. \n", "comment": "This might seem like a weird one, but I wanted to see if anyone else struggles with the same thing. I\u2019ve got a lot of bathroom anxiety, and start to freak out if I\u2019m in a place without a bathroom. Like most of us, my stomach is super reactive to how I\u2019m feeling and being anxious about whether there\u2019s a bathroom or not makes it worse. It makes long car drives super hard. To make matters worse, I live in an apartment with one bathroom and I get very stressed out when my roommates shower because I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll have to use the bathroom. Sometimes I get the feeling of needing to go, even though I\u2019ve just gone. \n\nI dunno, I just want to be able to do normal things without feeling like I\u2019m going to lose it if there isn\u2019t a bathroom. It sucks, y\u2019all. ", "post_id": "af5etv", "comment_id": "edw72r0"}, {"question": "Simple tip I wish I had learned when I was a lot younger before figuring it out.  Never literally \"ask someone out\" if that's indeed what you were planning on.  Kids do it all the time I know, I did it too.  Essentially when you do that you're saying \"I know we haven't gone on any dates or done anything like that but will you be in a relationship with me?\"  which can be awkward and off-putting.\n\nIf you've talked to her before, just ask her if she wants to hang out with you and do .... (whatever you would normally do for fun).  If she asks asks if anyone else is hanging out, just say no.  If she asks if it's a date, say \"yeah why not\".  If she says she doesn't want to or makes excuses or cancels, you know she's not interested.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "Ok so first off this is obviously a throwaway (of sorts ;) ) Here\u2019s the problem:\n\nI have trouble expressing my feelings to people I like. I really like this person, and her friend who is also my friend told me that she doesn\u2019t like anyone, but he said not to move on because I can make her like me. So I started talking to her over the past week or so, and he keeps telling me to just ask her out so I\u2019m not a \u201cbitch\u201d. Problem is, I\u2019m scared of rejection making things awkward, and I wouldn\u2019t know how to handle myself. I realllyyyy like this girl though. I think I should wait a little longer until it feels completely right, but I\u2019m worried that time will never come.\n        My question is will that time where it feels right to ask her out ever come? Also, what should I do in my situation? I really need guidance but all my friend basically keeps saying is \u201cdo it\u201d.\n\nThanks so much!", "post_id": "80fyqq", "comment_id": "duvfbal"}, {"question": "talk to him and your daughter and explain it's your role", "comment": "I just found out My ex husbands girlfriend got my daughter a dress for her first homecoming dance and is doing her hair and make up, I feel lost, angry and hurt and completely taken out of the picture!!!!! What do I do and say?????", "post_id": "6ybtla", "comment_id": "dmm74pq"}, {"question": "have a big talk about the status of things.....feelings.", "comment": "My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and half, and to put it simply it was pretty great. We were like puzzle pieces, getting along greatly, going on spontaneous adventures, laughing together, loving together, and just being each others best friend and confidant. Times slowly changed though, we left for school, which we attend the same school, and she became much busier than usual. We started spending less time together, she stopped laughing at our conversations, she slowly stopped showing public physical affection, and intimacy is a rarity. I feel as though I have been having to make every move, every touch, every interaction, simply anything to get her to interact with me. I just miss the best friend I used to have, and I don't know what to do at this point. ", "post_id": "5rrmz3", "comment_id": "dd9lrkx"}, {"question": "Call 911 or a local crisis line. Immediately.", "comment": "My wife has DID.  I've spoken to two different personalities besides her main one.  I know the source - or at least what they say the source is - for the splitting.\n\nLately it's been worse.  My wife, when she realizes she switches after coming back, has been more and more distraught and unable to deal with the repercussions - she only seems to switch when she's with me, like it's a 'safe' time to go.\n\nThis morning, she woke up as one of the alters.  And then she switched back moments later.\n\nAnd tried to harm herself.\n\nI love her.  She's the most wonderful woman I know.  She's been through a lot of troubles and pain, and I just want to help her.  I don't want to hurt her.  I had to bandage a cut taking the knife away from her this morning, and the only reason I didn't call 911 was because one of the alters showed up just before I did and said she would take my wife to a mental health clinic for help.\n\nThis is my wife.  I love her so much.  One of the alters I can sometimes have issues dealing with, and the second is, at least, calm and pleasant and can work with me.  But I need to help her - the DID is secondary to her occational self-harm ideation.\n\nI suffer from depression myself, and I really feel myself darkening, because the drain of this. I need to keep myself going for her and I cannot let myself fall. I know that I need help myself, but I need to hold on.\n\nI need advice.  Or help.\n\nI'm in Seattle.  Any ideas would help.", "post_id": "2ikm1x", "comment_id": "cl34qlo"}, {"question": "He's verbally/emotionally abusive; if he can't change, you should leave.", "comment": "I'm in a relationship with a smart and informed man, he's competent and able to wow almost anyone, he has that charisma. On the other hand, he has a difficult time using his social skills and academic competence when it's most needed in the relationship.  For example, he will guide me to apologize to him even though, he offended me (I don't have a problem saying I'm sorry). I will try to explain how he hurts my feelings and it's nearly impossible for him to accept his wrong doing. He will transform into a repulsive, angry bird \ud83d\udc26 with a vulgar vocabulary that won't stop until I'm in tears.  He has the skills to hurt my (and anyone if need be) feelings so accurately that I don't know if this time around we can recuperate.  During our las conflict I stood my ground and demanded an apology, but he stated bluntly that he will not apologize for insulting me.  And the next day he blames me for making him feel angry and messing up the harmony in our relationship.  Need advice \ud83d\ude2b", "post_id": "5ttevt", "comment_id": "ddouigo"}, {"question": "Quite a moving story. I hope you gotta little peace through the process of writing it out. ", "comment": "I am proud to say I was a claims adjuster. Proud that sentence is past tense. And proud of what it means to me; the trials and hardship I overcame my sweatshop of a company. But those difficulties are nothing compared to the struggles of the people I worked with on a daily basis. \n\nFor 5 months now, I've only been able to share this story with close family. There's still so much I need to say and I need it to be sent out there - if only in the hope that the family might see it and know.\n\nFor the purpose of this story, names and dates are going to be changed. This isn't my information to share. Just how it affected me.\n\nI started working at this company in May 2015. I started working in a live environment in July. And started working with far less supervision in October. To say I was wet behind the ears would be an understatement. Though I was amongst the top of my training class, the workload was (as always) overwhelming. The customers could be short and sweet at best, abusive at worst. By October I was confident in my knowledge and far more capable in my abilities. I wouldn't quite say I was ready for this claim, but you don't get to pick them. I certainly didn't want to let my supervisor down and request it be transferred.\n\nA call came in shortly after our call center opened for business with a man on the line. He was calm and patient. His calm is always what I remember about him. He introduced himself Andrew and that he was inquiring about a claim. It was Monday and we came into all of the claims we had received over the weekend (about 6 that day).\n\nHis claim came to me with no information. An officer reported it, which was highly unusual, said our driver was not at fault (not their job to determine, but helpful), and that another person was. That person happened to be insured with us as well, so it made it much easier getting that driver's information and to speak with her adjuster.\n\nAndrew knew nothing else. Just that his wife had been hit with their infant daughter in the car and they were both in the hospital, the wife in a coma. I feel like time slowed as I mind raced for responses. Reassuring, empathetic, but with a note of determined plan-of-action. I hoped I managed to pull it off. I was *not* ready for a fatality claim. And me?? What about Andrew?!? Holy shit! How is he not freaking the fuck out!!!\n\nI bless whatever lead Andrew for having such a level headed disposition as my mind races to figure out what to do. If he were yelling or freaking out, I would be a useless sobbing mess I'm sure. Even to this day, I don't think he realizes what a saint he has been through the whole endeavor. And that's what I wish so bad to tell him.\n\nIt becomes quickly clear that neither of us know anything. As soon as I let him know the scant information I've been told, I tell him how I plan to get more information: where his car is, what the police report number is, who the reporting officer is, what other cars are involved, does the other party accept liability? What does the other driver say happened? How is she - in a coma too? And most of all, what the hell happened in the accident.\n\nThis ends up being a struggle spanning several weeks.\n\nThe cops took Andrew's car as evidence. They didn't think his wife would survive her injuries and they were collecting evidence for vehicular manslaughter charges. In a week or so the cops released the car to our car so we could start to work getting Andrew his settlement money.\n\nIt turns out the woman who was at fault managed to sideswipe two cars that were stopped at a red light, T-bone Andrew's wife, then proceed to sideswipe a fourth car. Andrew's wife was hit with such force that she was pushed into a pole. She suffered life threatening injuries but her infant was unharmed. There were at least 6 other people involved, not including the other driver (who suffered a broken foot or something similar) and each of them sought treatment for the usual stiff neck and back.\n\nHere's the deal. As much as the injuries are bad news, and I'm not downplaying them, the coverage is pretty bad too.\n\nAndrew has state minimums when it comes to Bodily Injury coverage and Personal Injury Coverage. The state they live in dictates that if the at fault party's coverage isn't sufficient to cover anything, you can only use YOUR coverage if it is MORE. They have the same state minimum limits as the at fault party.\n\nWhat that means is this: \n\nHis wife's bills exhaust the medical coverage (PIP) within 2 days.\n\nAll of their bills will now go through their normal health insurance and they will pay their usual copay and deductible whatever the hell that may be. As her *rehab* treatment is over $1,000 a day, they're racking up major bills.\n\nThe at fault party owes them a bodily injury settlement. BUT they only have the state minimum $30,000 to work with. And they have to split that with 6 other people who - while have significantly minor injuries, also need to be considered. \n\nAndrew's wife is going to be out of work, if not permanently impaired.... if she makes it. They have all of these medical bills. They have two little kids. $30,000 aint shit.\n\nAnd to top it off - when asked about how the accident happened, why did the at fault party do this, she insisted she did not have a seizure. Not usually something people volunteer. If you have a seizure, you lose your license for 3 months in this state. It seems she knew what happened, knew she wasn't safe to drive but did anyway.\n\nAnd once more, to make matters worse, Andrew didn't have power of attorney. So the entire process of getting the settlement for his car, or really *anything* was frustrating and painful.\n\nYet, he remaind amazingly calm and patient.\n\nEven as his life fell apart. He was thrown into this world of unknowns and upset, he was civil and respectful. He took everything I told him patiently, even when I knew it was too complicated or difficult to get a handle on at the moment.\n\nThere were only two times I felt this character break. The first Thursday after the accident. He sounded like he was clinging to his calm manner like a shield but I could hear he was broken. He said he was at the hospital and couldn't talk now. I later learning that his wife had a horrible infection and actually died once or twice that night. At the time the somewhat terse response completely threw me off - I thought I knew Andrew. But after I learned what happened, my heart broke all over again.\n\nThe other time what when I had the full account of what happened. I read the narration to him and later referred to the at fault party by name. His emotions were subtle but for him he may as well have been shaking with rage. This woman who caused this damage to his wife. He had a name for her now and that hatred just bled through the phone. I never mentioned her ever again.\n\nOur service for Andrew wasn't our best. In fact, of a 10, I would give it a 4. It's a real shame and between the expected stresses of having a wife in an extended coma, 2 babies, and a fuckhead insurance, I could sense Andrew getting more and more strained on the phone. I dreaded his calls, dreaded disappointing him. At every step I was left wishing there was more I could do. I'd often think of his family at home, praying for him, wishing somehow I could tell him how much we are hoping for him and praying for his wife's recovery. If even just that bit could give him some strength to continue this long journey, I would.\n\nBut I couldnt. I could never say needed and human things. Not just because to him, I'm just *the insurance company* but because my company is like the usual giant corporations and they have pretty clear policies on saying things like \"we're praying for you\" or \"we're all thinking about you\"\n\nSo now is my chance. I still think about you guys, Andrew. I'm so sorry that you had to celebrate the holidays and her birthday, and soon your kids' birthdays in the hospital. I saw the medical reports. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. I hope that if anything I helped just one iota. I pray for your wife every day. I pray for you even more. Please stay that gentle, calm man who called me in October.\n", "post_id": "4bzqto", "comment_id": "d1dzor1"}, {"question": "This \"everyone should go to college\" mindset is poisonous.  A friend of mine is dealing with it now.  It sucks.", "comment": "My sister graduated high school one year early. She moved out of the house and went to live with my grandma in the ghetto to go to community college. For 5 years since the day she left she has been working hard (2 or more jobs constantly) to make money to pay for herself to go to school.\n\nShe failed the first year.\nShe quit the second year.\nShe failed again the third year.\nShe got into a car accident and failed the fourth year.\nAnd now this fifth year she cant even attend school because she does not have enough money.\n\nAnd for all that, im finally happy she cant get back up. Because now, its time for something new. School is not for everyone and its taken her 5 years to figure that out. I dont want to tell her she wasted her time, but she already knows its on my mind.\n\nNow im currently getting stuff prepared to help her move. She needs to start a new life in a new city, away from all the bad memories and failures here.\n\nWish her luck please.", "post_id": "2fs4xr", "comment_id": "ckc9v3t"}, {"question": "Hi there - \nThere\u2019s either an autocorrect issue or I\u2019m missing something here. Your daughter is embarrassed to blush in front of others, and this is concerning enough that you\u2019re bringing it to her pediatrician? \nI think there\u2019s a miscommunication here.", "comment": "My 9 yr old is having severe anxiety over blushing in front of schoolmates. We have been with friends and family for 4th of July activities the past two nights and has told me she is very worried about school and blushing, even during a fireworks show. Last night she even mentioned she likes school but not herself. This talk is obviously alarming. We will talk with our pediatrician but was thinking we could get some good feedback, opinions, resources etc. that would help us dive in and give her some relief.", "post_id": "c9ves4", "comment_id": "et3mx96"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "Ok, so.. my story is a mess. I'd been friends with benefits with a coworker for over a year, but then she stopped it in December (she actually never told me anything, just started to give excuses to not go out with me). I've always liked her so much but after some months I realized I loved her and asked her if she was ever going to be with me again and long story short, she said she always liked me a lot but she thought I didn\u2019t (I did a good job trying not to make us not get attached, but looks like I failed), then started seeing another guy from work who liked her, started liking him too, and short after they started \"dating\", he moved to USA (we live in Brazil), then they made plans to spend her vacation together in NYC (that's happening right now).\n\nWell, I tried everything to win her back before I knew about her trip, but when she told me everything I'd just tried to accept it because everything was paid already. But then, last week, 4 days before her flight, we went out again, and we spent those 4 days together. It was perfect and we loved it. She also told me she loved me. The day before the flight she told me she was still going to NYC, but after what happened she wouldn't do anything with him, she talked to him and he agreed it would be only a friendly relationship. But of course that didn't happen.\n\nThe day after she arrived, she told me they had sex (apparently there were friends telling her she should do it) and it was not good and she realized for good I am the one for her and that she told him that and she won't do it anymore. I believe her. But now I've got to put up with them being together as friends for another 20 days, knowing there can be a new spark at any moment.\n\nI've been trying to accept what happened, I really love her, and I believe she loves me too, and I want to have what we had in those 4 days, but it's been so hard for me to accept what she did. I know I screwed up from the beginning because I let her believe I didn't care for her and she found another. And we don't have any compromise, but after what happened last week I was misled and thought it was implicit. Now she's broken my trust. I want it to work out when she's back but I just don't know how to accept it because I'm so hurt. I'm even considering having sex with an escort just to see if somehow it makes me see sex as something more natural (and also because I'm angry and sad) and get over what they did, but I know I would regret it and feel miserable afterwards.\n\nAny advice on how to get over it? Each minute she's there fills me with pain and doubts. Sorry for the long post.", "post_id": "6ga10q", "comment_id": "dionmof"}, {"question": "I hear ya.  I recently started on Adderall a few months ago.  Prior to which I probably drank 3-4 cups of coffee a day minimum, which in many ways was to cope with my then undiagnosed ADHD.  \n\nAside from needing coffee, I really love it.  For the most part, Adderall has been a godsend.  Only things I'm not liking is that if I do have even one cup of coffee while taking it, there's a good chance my face will break out or I'll start to feel some circulation issues.  \n\nI generally save my coffee drinking for the weekends when I give myself a break from the Adderall in order to prevent building up a tolerance.  \n", "comment": "Was on Adderall and had to cut out caffeine because of insomnia. Now I'm trying Vyvanse and while my insomnia is gone, I tried half a cup of coffee yesterday and felt sick all day.  \n\nIt's hard because I replaced most of my snacking with coffee and tea for heath and weight. And I've actually had a really difficult time finding things to drink at restaurants, because soft drinks all have sugar or caffeine, and our tap water here is disgusting right now.  \n\nBut most of all I just miss a good cup of coffee. I know decaf exists, but not in the variety that I'm used to. And one of my coworkers was talking about getting me a french press as a wedding gift too. :(", "post_id": "8nk7r4", "comment_id": "dzw8z1f"}, {"question": "It sounds to me like you have brilliant organizational ability but just require a couple extra tools. It\u2019s sort of like some of the special olympians who have a prosthetic leg but they run super fast and win all the medals, like that guy who killed his girlfriend in South Africa. Don\u2019t kill your girlfriend (or boyfriend. Or anyone really.), but do recognize that the ADHD brain can sometimes work against itself; you\u2019ve found a way to make your brain work with itself rather than against, and your ADHD brain came up with those systems that help you to be so unstoppable. That\u2019s a pretty amazing talented brain and a pretty amazing talented person to figure all that out and to reach that level of success with your organizational skills.", "comment": "Hi all. I'm not sure if it's impostor syndrome, or if I'm just unwilling to acknowledge some of my strengths. Many people are amazed by my organisational skills. I chronically use productivity software to keep myself on track. I am really organised in certain areas of my life. If I'm looking at mindmaps, or Trello I feel like I'm seeing the world in the matrix code, but outside of that, I feel like I know nothing. I cannot tell you what I did today, or what I'm planning to do tomorrow. I cannot tell you about specific details from client meetings I had yesterday. I can't even remember if I have a psych appointment this week or next week. But, when I'm in front of my laptop I am legendary. I am unstoppable. I can outwork and outthink anyone (if I want to). \n\nDo any of you feel like this? ", "post_id": "9zelnv", "comment_id": "ea8jm6v"}, {"question": "As a therapist and supervisor of therapists something very important that I've learned over the years is to try your best not to give unsolicited advice or critiques unless by not doing so the person would be in danger.\n\n\nI think this is probably the best advice I could give you.  You don't need to praise someone if you feel it's unwarranted either.  Sometimes the most appropriate thing is to do nothing and say \"okay\" or \"alright\" and move on.  \n\n\nIf you feel as though someone really needs your critique or advice but it doesn't fall into the danger category, ask them if it's okay if you share it with them and why you think it's important.  \n\n\nMore often than not, people are just talking and looking for acknowledgement that you heard them.  Not looking for advice, encouragement, or praise.  \n\n\n", "comment": "I read most of How to Win Friends and Influence People and am slowly trying to make those ideas part of the way i interact with people. But there are some ways about myself, some principles, that go against the ideas in the book. For example: if I think I can say something to someone that will help encourage them, but could offend them a little bit as well (a candid criticism), I feel the urge to share it. But I'm also supposed to \"never criticize, condemn, or complain.\"\n\nExample from today: my mom shares with me that shes going to the gym today (a little backstory, shes \"started exercising\" twice this year, both times she went for one day and stopped.) so i tell her \"ok but dont celebrate going for one day. celebrate after you've gone for a week.\" instead of just encouraging her, because I think giving empty and false praise is bad.\n\nI guess this is more of a vent than a question, I think I just need to give less fucks and bite the bullet and give empty praise when people want it? But at the same time I feel wrong doing that. I don't have the urge to please people so much that I should go against my instincts, but at the same time does me criticizing for the chance of improvement really do anything?\n\nAny thoughts?", "post_id": "8n1c0t", "comment_id": "dzs3k8h"}, {"question": "Lip balm - live in a dry area and HATE dry lips;\nEye drops - live in a dry area. I use contacts because I lose my glasses;\nDeodorant- sometimes forget to put it on;\nSunglasses;\nHair ties and Bobby pins (dont know if you need these);\nSpare headphones;\nCharging cable;\nWallet;\nPen.\n\nAll those things ^ I keep in a little zip up bag that I can easily switch between big bags so I don't forget anything. Then big bag gets water bottle, food for the day, laptop, text books etc.", "comment": "What items do you usually keep in your bag that helps with the day-to-day of ADHD? I'm genuinely curious. Switching from a backpack to a tote, and thinking of things to put in there.", "post_id": "aiseiw", "comment_id": "eern9ut"}, {"question": "This is why I got a 25gb plan hahaha", "comment": "Also to turn off bluetooth if you aren't using it.  You're welcome :)", "post_id": "bpi64s", "comment_id": "enw45zs"}, {"question": "Let me join the chorus: you have been reading about pseudomedical \"diagnoses,\" which abound on the internet, and I would be very wary of a naturopath as a doctor, as their training is frankly limited and focused on pseudoscience.\n\nYou say you know what isn't wrong and what won't help. How? Why?", "comment": "I've spent **over $1,500** in medical bills trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I spend almost every spare moment of time trying to figure this out and I get such mixed messages from so many doctors I am LOST on what to do.\n\nIm diagnosed with ADD, I have very high folate and vitamin b12 levels. I have high levels of EBV antibodies. I was on adderall from age 14 to 17. That barely got me by, but I can literally barely even hold a job anymore. (18yr, guy, 160lb \\~5ft 11in) I am depressed/low mood/extreme brain fog/mood swings most of the time, but when I am feeling bad I also usually feel bloated. I have very little appetite, and very increased thirst.  I have moderate acne, severe eczema on parts of my hand. I have high histamine levels also, and am currently about to be treated for undermethylation with vitamins and Sam\\-E. But I want to make sure I am going down the right path for treatment.\n\nI feel like my diet plays a huge role in my problems. I went a month eliminating all sugar, gluten, and dairy. I definitely did not feel anywhere close to 100% after that, but I felt better. I was able to function without stimulants, caffeine etc. I could get out of bed in the morning. Then I went back to  eating some sugar, gluten, and dairy, and I feel absolutely terrible. I have read about leaky gut, candida overgrowth, SIBO  and I know that can cause all of my symptoms also.\n\nWhat should I do from here? I honestly feel lost, every doctor I go to is telling me to do different things, and the current naturopathic doctor I have went to is putting me on the walsh protocol to help what he thinks is me being undermethylated. Should I try the supplements for undermethylation first, or should i test for gut problems also?\n\nIf I am feeling depressed, unable to focus, mood swings I am almost always bloated. I feel like I cant digest food. I KNOW I am not just experiencing depression or ADD, I dont need SSRI or adderall. I literally feel like my body is trying to tell me something is wrong but I dont know what.", "post_id": "8pmay4", "comment_id": "e0covnp"}, {"question": "Most neurocognitive testing is mainly related to dementia. You definitely dont have this. If you do want to amuse yourself, you could Google \"Addenbrookes Cognitive Examination\" and find a copy online.\n\nYou might not want to practice too hard though - if you are unfortunate to have cognitive decline, you might overperform in tests and be misdiagnosed!\n\nCant comment on neurocognitive fees - its free in the UK.", "comment": "I recently learned of psychoneurological testing and I find it interesting. While I do have memory complaints, I'm a fully-functional adult with no serious issues. However, I'd like to undergo a psychoneurological test for fun/curiosity's sake. Is there a publicly-available test that I could have a friend perform on me? Is this something that only a medical professional can perform? If it really should be done by a medical professional, is it really expensive (I assume insurance won't pay for it b/c it is not necessary) or something that I could find a physician doing on the side? If so, how would I go about finding a reputable physician to do such testing?\n    \nAnything else that I should know?\n    \nThanks!", "post_id": "4y05ya", "comment_id": "d6k2ztp"}, {"question": "49 (F) and I have the same problem. My teen girls are mortified 90% of the day.", "comment": "Pretty much what the title says.  I believe most folks have a filter between what they really think and feel and what they say.  I certainly do / did.  This prevents saying or doing things that may result in social censure.\n\nMy filter is is becoming intermittent.  I suspect this is age related.  Does anyone have any insight?\n\nUPDATE / EDIT\nThank you everyone for your comments. I have read every one and they have helped refine what I was struggling to write. \n\nI am concerned that my personality may have taken a turn for the worse.  I have found that I get frustrated by various stuff (see below) and this causes me to go into rages.  Whereas before I could  think rationally about how stupid stuff affected me and laugh things off.  Now when I get frustrated I go from 1 to 10 in a heartbeat.  I will curse and get in a rage.  Then it will go as fast as it came once I get it out of my system and can get a grip.\n\nThis is never directed at a person other than myself and I don't think I'm a physical threat to anyone.\n\nStupid stuff that 'triggered' me in the last month:\n- Bashing my head on the cooker-hood  \n- Being cut up by another driver  \n- Being annoyed that a piece of home electronics had a hard wired power cable and not a removable cable  \n- Leaving my wallet at home  \n\nTo the posters who have suggested that it's me giving less of a shit what other people think as I get older - Its  something I recognize but I reached that point 3 or 4 years ago.\n\nEdited for spelling grammar and formatting", "post_id": "bts5o8", "comment_id": "ep36xtb"}, {"question": "mentalhealthawareness commenter gives a really good description.  If you had BPD, you wouldn't just be experiencing this with this one person.  You would act like this around most people in your life and probably get the kind of comments you got from him from others as well.  \n\nEither way, whether you have a personality disorder or not, if it's this distressing to you, it's worth it to talk to a therapist.  \n\nWho knows, it could be this one person in question manipulating you, or maybe you do get this response from others and just don't realize it.  You never know.  Exploration in therapy might help you figure this out.  \n\nIf you're never been in therapy before and you're in the U.S. hit me up if you have any questions on how to get connected. \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)\n", "comment": "Sometimes I wonder if I have BPD. I'm just wondering if someone with BPD would actually recognize they have this problem for themselves or do they not see it as a problem?\n\nThe symptoms don't manifest around everyone, just one person (mostly). I feel crazy with my emotions regarding this friendship. Sometimes I wonder if my actions in response to my emotions (example, trying to pull back from the relationship) are just a way for me to manipulate the person into doing what I want or if I am actually just trying to help myself. But then, I don't even know what I want from the relationship to begin with. I get mad at the person frequently and constantly feel like they are abandoning me...  but maybe they actually are? I have a hard time sorting out whether this perceived abandonment is real or not. They have told me that they feel like they need to \"walk on eggshells\" around me and have referred to my emotional outbursts as \"episodes\". Is that true? Do I make people feel that way? I'm confused. I'm hurting. I don't know how to deal with my emotions because I feel like any response could be seen as manipulative and I would rather the emotions just go away.\n\n", "post_id": "6vpik0", "comment_id": "dm24xwx"}, {"question": "This is crazy to me. Do you really think all men are exactly alike, and AA is only effective because they have massive egos due to white privilege? Because that\u2019s the only way your argument makes any sense at all. Seems to me that men are actually...get this...not just all cavemen without different thoughts and feelings, or from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Men in AA I have run across vary tremendously. Some have suffered tremendous trauma and abuse their whole lives and drank because they too felt powerless. Others have drank because their families would not accept their sexual orientation or gender identity. Still more drank because they have lived in poverty their entire lives and didn\u2019t feel like they would ever be able to get out of it. How any of those examples are individuals with too much power and need their egos smashed escapes me. Somehow AA was the difference in their life. Wonder why? Maybe because your lengthy description of how AA works based off of the founding members may be short sighted and extremely simplistic. The many, many women I have met that have not only gotten sober through AA, but had their lives completely turned around, swear by AA. Why is that? This idea that AA takes power away from women or anyone else is absolutely false and ignorant. It is also very dangerous as far as I am concerned because people like you could turn another woman away from the program before they even give it a shot, or have them going into it with preconceived notions. That\u2019s messing with someone\u2019s life as far as I\u2019m concerned. \n\nAlso, did you honestly just suggest using  Psilocybin for recovery to from alcoholism? Seriously? Another thing is that if you look at the 12 steps, and the work that is involved with them, you would see how it actually uses many of the techniques and theoretical underpinnings of CBT (albeit unintentional). And MAT for alcohol use disorder is far from effective alone. Some of it helps with cravings for some people...that\u2019s about it. It basically may help with cravings in the beginning, but they do not do much for long-term sobriety. The Sinclair method claims great success rates, but it hasn\u2019t been accepted in the US by the FDA as a legitimate use of naloxone. AA helps you to see things differently and learn to manage everything that life throws your way. CBT deals with catastrophizing and rationalizing a lot, and teaches you to challenge these maladaptive thought patterns, and eventually reframe them in a more positive and realistic manner. AA does this as well, only in more detail in my opinion. \n\nYou seem to be quite intelligent and well read given the content of your post; however, I could not disagree with your premise or your overall point more strongly. I think it\u2019s dangerous and uninformed, and believe you are making assumptions based off of the few founding members of AA. This could be leading people who would benefit from the AA program away from it before they have even tried a measure that could literally save their life. I find that to be reckless regardless of the motives you may have behind it.", "comment": "An important voice, from the most important paper on the planet:\n\n​\n\n [https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/27/opinion/sunday/alcoholics-anonymous-women.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/27/opinion/sunday/alcoholics-anonymous-women.html)", "post_id": "egujlw", "comment_id": "fcavl2r"}, {"question": "Alone, it doesn't prove or disprove anything.\n\nIf you're worried that you might have PTSD or another related trauma- or anxiety disorder, you should seek out a psychologist or psychiatrist.", "comment": "So I never used to have issues watching violence in movies...got back from multiple deployments 8 years ago and find myself crying at even the insinuation of death in movies (...like ALOT).....does this mean anything??\n\nPS- I'm a dude....", "post_id": "4o4hsr", "comment_id": "d49qoh5"}, {"question": "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that cats will wander off to be alone when they pass. The fact that she went under the house instead of a backyard, street or bushes might mean she wanted to be as close to you as she could when she passed. I promise you that she loved you, and you gave a cat not just a place to stay, but a home. If you had not adopted her, she may have passed in the shelter, without ever knowing that. Also, don't beat yourself up, it's not your cat under the house. That's just her shell, the skin she wore. Your cat came back, said goodbye and left to do what she felt she had to do. \n\nI am so glad you have those pictures, and the awesome memories with her. \n\n<hugs>  ", "comment": "I got a kitten from a friend about a year ago, and recently found out that she had an enlarged heart, making it hard for her to take full breathes, while putting a lot of work on her tiny heart. We got her meds and mixed it with gravy to make it easier for her to swallow, but after a few months of daily medication, I could tell that she just wasn't acting the same anymore.\nThen one night, sitting in the window awning, she jumped down into the  backyard and disappeared for two days.  I had just started a new job and was having a very hard time coping with the thought of her being gone, wondering where she could be, and worried without her meds, but just as I was leaving for my first day, she walked right into the kitchen as if she had never been gone.  I swear it was like seeing my dead father walk through the door.  I held her and cried like I never have before, then I took pictures of the two of us, hoping she would never leave again.  \nSomething wasn't right though, she was not acting the same, staying in on spot the entire day and only moving when there was food presented.After another two days full of love and sadness, she disappeared again, this time for good.  Unfortunately, I found her under my house, decomposing, like all mammals will do one day. Now I have to man up, stay strong, and get out my gloves, a bag, and my shovel.  It's going to be a long Sunday.", "post_id": "wz7mp", "comment_id": "c5hygpz"}, {"question": "Get another therapist. If you're thinking about offing yourself- go to a hospital", "comment": "Seem to be spending a lot of time in this subreddit lately. Possibly not a good thing. Anyway, as you may have guessed, therapy isn't working. I spent years pretending to be perfectly fine, doing everything I could to distract everyone else and myself from what was happening inside my head. Did a pretty good job, too, honestly. Then I ended up in Italy and barely able to leave my room I was so down and the frustration at not being able to enjoy my time abroad finally won out over my all-encompassing need for self-reliance. \n\nThat was about six months ago. Now I am back in the States and still in therapy and on medication and completely suicidal. The only reason I haven't done it yet is I know what it would do to my family and I feel so selfish when I think about that. But it's all I can think about. I'm pretty much a shut-in right now; I watch TV, I browse reddit, sometimes (gasp!) I go to the grocery store. I know staying in all the time is making it worse, giving me more time to think about how much I hate myself. I could volunteer somewhere, I could go running, I could do something. But thinking about voluntarily interacting with other people is physically painful. Basically, I hate myself too much to hold a conversation. The effort required to be polite to cashiers and bus drivers is monumental. \n\nMy therapist's advice, when I tell her I'm suicidal? Try not to think about it. Just try to do something. Just try. And it makes me want to scream, like what the fuck was I doing all those years I wasn't in therapy? I'm sick of fucking trying; it never got me anything but sleeplessness and social anxiety. \n\nSo... I don't know what the point of this is. I know you're all going through your own shit. But I'm reaching the end of the proverbial rope, here. ", "post_id": "vnwyw", "comment_id": "c56in4u"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve been there too.  Despite my best efforts I couldn\u2019t make myself eat.   My anxiety comes and goes in waves and only say it\u2019s most extreme levels does my appetite die.   I was able to drink though.  Maybe drinking protein shakes or something related might be helpful?", "comment": "Hello,\n\nSo as of recently I have been struggling to eat. It all stemmed from a few weeks ago when I was going to go out to breakfast with my girlfriend (now ex girlfriend). I woke up and was hungry but didn't want to eat because I did not want to not eat when I went out for breakfast. The whole way there I was feeling super hungry and thirsty as well as very anxious. I did not end up going to breakfast, instead just went home and tried to eat but could not eat anything. I had a few bites of cereal and after that day I have had no appetite and eating seems to be very hard. I am constantly worrying about being able to eat and having anxiety over not being full enough. I am eating regularly but I have to force myself to eat. They're just small meals (a few waffles with milk, 1 or 2 PB&J sandwiches, bagels) and I am making sure I am drinking water. I eat about every 2 or 3 hours but if I don't I start to feel nauseous. I am constantly focusing on if I am full or need to eat more and worrying about when I will have to eat next. I literally cannot do anything else because that is all I think about.\n\nI just went back on Lexapro 5mg about 4 days ago (today is my 4th day) but I have not really noticed any changes. I am going to give it time and see if it works, if not I will have to up my dosage. I have been on it before when I was a teenager but now I am in my very early 20's. I also went and got my blood work done and just this morning my doctor called me and told me everything is just fine so I know nothing is physically wrong with me. I am going next Thursday to see a therapist as well and my GP in about a month for a checkup.\n\nHas anyone dealt with this or something similar? If so, what did you do to overcome this? I am looking for anything useful to try. I have been trying to research the issue but haven't really found much. The only thing I have seen is people meditating or exercising beforehand, or drinking smoothies and protein shakes (which I am going to try). Like I said, I am looking for any tips or success stories to make me feel more hopeful. I am starting to think negative and worry that I will never be able to get over this.", "post_id": "aw8dc1", "comment_id": "ehknrgx"}, {"question": "I'm sorry for my profession, but know that these counselors and therapists are not trying to avoid you but are overwhelmed. We take on as much as we can to the point where we struggle to find time to care for ourselves. \n\nI hope that you can find someone who is available. Also be weary of eTherapy.", "comment": "I have been dealing with anxiety for years. Recently, it has become debilitating and affects my daily life. I can barely eat and every time I think about leaving the house I start to panic. \n\nI've been telling myself I need to get into therapy. And finally after only being able to eat two bites of food and having a terrible panic attack, I decided that was the last straw. I was ready to bite the bullet and find a therapist. \n\nAfter a few phone calls I came to find that the majority of counselors in my city are not accepting new patients, or don't take my insurance. So after a 30 minute hold I finally got to speak to my insurance agent who told me there is ONE FUCKING PROVIDER covered in my city.\n \nAll of my insurance company in a major US city is covered by one lady!? Her voicemail told me she was not accepting new patients either (of course). Then I thought... \"Fuck it. My mental health is important, I'll go out of network and pay out the ass.\" So I start googling away.\n\nI have called 15 numbers. I kid you not, 15 numbers. I have not spoken to a single human. And 10 of those voicemails told me they were not accepting new patients. \nAnd this is all while trying to deal with anxiety--which makes even the thought of making all these calls terrifying as it is!\n\nHow does anyone do this!? I'm trying to keep afloat and I'm barely treading water.", "post_id": "4fkegs", "comment_id": "d29lcu9"}, {"question": "I think something that is important to keep in mind is that what the term \"Schizophrenia\" meant in the 1950s and 1960s is fairly different from what Schizophrenia means now. Back then it was a pretty vague diagnosis. \n\nIt is likely that she doesn't necessarily have what we understand now as Schizophrenia, but perhaps a severe form of depression (which can sometimes include psychotic symptoms). This might explain why she recovered without the use of medication. ", "comment": "For those of you who have read this auto-biographical book,  the author (Joanne Greenberg) claims that her Schizophrenia was (not necessarily cured) but brought under full control by years of intensive therapy while institutionalized. I have since seen interviews where Greenberg is adamant that she has never taken medication and believes that most schizophrenics could live stable lives if they participated in years of intensive therapy as she did.  I found her assertion troublesome for obvious reasons. I'd like to get others thoughts on this- has anyone tried her method and found it successful? I had the thought while reading the book that she may have not been properly diagnosed given the era, but in modern interviews she still identities as schizophrenic. Also, what did people think generally of her descriptions of her hallucinations and cognitive issues? Did you feel like you could relate or did it feel totally off base? ", "post_id": "3gxuh9", "comment_id": "cu4b8hk"}, {"question": "Hi there, I\u2019m a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and I have training in biofeedback and work with someone who does neurofeedback. What you\u2019re describing doesn\u2019t sound like what we do. In my experience, you try to control your brain waves to get them in the space it needs to be and hold it there. Kind of like a balance beam. Focused, but relaxed, not tense. What you\u2019ve talked about sounds like they zap you and you\u2019re magically better. I think you\u2019re right to have your skeptical hat on for this. ", "comment": "31M, Caucasian Australian, 176cm 86kg, Escitalopram 10mg\n\nHi, I've recently been volunteering at a mental health clinic and they recently employed a Neurofeedback practitioner. Background on me - I have been under a psychiatrist for 15 years for depression and anxiety, and have been a pharmacist for 10 years. I am willing to try new things, but sceptical of treatments lacking rigorous evidence. Anxiety reduction is the focus now. I've done plenty of CBT and have good strategies, but I was willing to try a new approach in addition to my current regime. I'm generally alright at the moment, but certain triggers cause 7/10 anxiety. I do not use benzodiazepines for anxiety, instead I do breathing, close eyes etc.\n\nI did my first session last week (3 sites, 3 seconds each) that showed my parietal and occipital lobes were very alpha-dominant. I had no side effects, so I went back again today, and that's when my scepticism kicked in. The practitioner called a kinesiologist before we started to do an \"energy reading\" or \"muscle testing\" to see how much I could handle. She recommended a substantial increase over last week, and I ended up getting 11 seconds on 4 sites (pre-frontal and frontal, and 'z' sites - whatever that means) and the practitioner said it's rare to do those sites at that intensity so early in the treatment schedule, but my \"energy\" said it would be ok.\n\nI'm not feeling any different, no adverse effects, but no change in thoughts etc either.\n\nMy question - in anyone's experience, is neurofeedback worth pursuing for anxiety reduction? There's not a lot of evidence that it is beneficial, and when my therapist called to get my \"energy\" read before we started, and this person assessed me from across the city, never met me, knowing nothing but my name, I couldn't help but feel this is quackery at its finest!\n\nThanks in advance.", "post_id": "9rksxa", "comment_id": "e8i7ofx"}, {"question": "I'm sure your mother would rather have her child than mail from strangers.  You said you are hopeless, and yet you are here posting, so there is a fighting part of you-even if you don't recognize it.  You seem like a really caring person since you are so worried about your mother.  There's a lot of people here (myself included) who would be glad to talk to you.  Please tell us more about yourself.  ", "comment": "I'll write more later, but I feel that suicide is inevitable for me.\n\nThis website has been a blessing to me and I'd like to ask you all one favor: just in case something were to happen to me, could you all send my mother some stuff via the mail. I'll provide here address when the time finally comes.\n\nI can't live with myself anymore and I'd really appreciate it... I'll be sure to write her a note (and hopefully my other family). I'm just so broken and I can't escape the hopelessness. I don't think I can fight it anymore.\n\nI'll write more in the comments later... \n\nEDIT: ", "post_id": "de16q", "comment_id": "c0zircx"}, {"question": "While I've never been to Australia, I used to be a therapist at a psych hospital. Mania is really unpredictable, which is why it is dangerous (especially for the manic person). I've seen normally docile people become very aggressive when manic.\n\nIn the USA at least, the hospital can't share details with you unless the patient explicitly agrees to it.", "comment": "Help! Has anyone been admitted to a psych ward in Australia? What's it like in there? How were you treated by staff and nurses?\n\nMy husband was admitted involuntarily 3 days ago in a NSW hospital due to bipolar manic episode.  I've attempted to see him twice yesterday,  both times they wouldn't let me in because \"the ward was unstable. \" they said it was HIM disrupting and being violent.  He wasn't violent before he went in. When I asked the nurse if this is a reaction to new meds, she said NO and practically kicked me out of the centre. On the phone he told me they've slammed his head on the floor etc. Now I feel like he's being abused in there, they refuse to let me see him, I feel like they're hiding something.  Wtf do I do??\n", "post_id": "2flbz1", "comment_id": "ckabv6j"}, {"question": "This is very common.  The measure depends on the presenting problem.  In the past , I used the Beck inventories .\n\nSome therapists do this at every session . I think 12 weeks is a good amount of time. There has been research that shows that people generally improve 50% over 3 months of therapy . Doing it too soon can frustrate a client who is not making progress .", "comment": "I think right now, there's no standard mechanisms to determine if a client's mental well being is improving in therapy\n\nI had a thought of introducing a mechanism where a client fills a questionnaire ever couple of sessions to determine if the client is making progress.\n\nThis questionnaire would be similar to the depression questionaires(how much pleasure the client gets from doing things, how often the client feels depressed, etc)\n\nThis is actually similar to personal training as well where you keep track of fats, carbs, muscle gain, etc \n\nThe client and therapist could review this questionaire every couple of weeks to evaluate progress and brainstorm ways to improve", "post_id": "fu2yj3", "comment_id": "fmbim3e"}, {"question": "You're in a very painful time in sobriety. Early on the dopamine spike necessary for basic enjoyment of activities is astoundingly high because of how consistent drinking affects your brain. I don't have any solution to that other than to tell you it gets better. ", "comment": "Basically, I want to go on a vacation from drinking of indeterminate length because I drink every day or every other day and that is very bad for you.  Also, I am taking 18 college credits in two weeks and I can't do that getting drunk every day.\n\nI'm not physically addicted to alcohol as far as I can tell.  I don't even feel a really strong need to have it most of the time.  But without it I am extremely bored and I think if I'm going to succeed I need to find a way to be not bored.\n\nProblems:\n\n1.  I don't have any friends, and I don't like any of my boyfriend's friends when I'm not drunk.  For the moment, I'm not sure how to make rewarding social interaction happen.\n\n2.  I am in a small town with limited activities to do, except for a lot of bars.  There are no meetups close enough for me to drive to, and no clubs in town that you don't have to pay to join.  Both of these things are also not helped by the fact that I make very little money.\n\nI've watched every tv show I'm remotely interested in watching, I don't like competitive video games, and I feel like I've also had my fill of hobbies that feel like work (learning languages, running, cleaning (if that's a hobby), drawing).   Usually my solution is drink until EVERYTHING is interesting, but I would love to find an alternative.\n\nDid anyone else experience this sort of boredom while trying to stop drinking?  What do you DO with yourself?  Does this feeling go away ever?", "post_id": "2d0smn", "comment_id": "cjl1zbr"}, {"question": "Hey you!\n\nwhat you are going through is tough. You feel alone. The good news is you don't have to always feel this way. A lot of the things you describe sound like depression, but the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about how you are feeling and ask them to help you find a therapist to talk to. There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. It's like seeing a doctor when you get sick or hurt. \n\n\nThis stuck out to me: \"I can never keep friends, they all end up leaving me after about 5-6 months because they get bored with me or decide they don't want to be my friend anymore\"\n\nHow do you know that your friends get bored with you? is this a fact or is this your depression convincing you that you are no good? You are good. I glanced at some of your reddit posts and you have some cool interests and you are interesting and very worthwhile :) \n\nIt sounds like there are people that care about you but its hard to believe that right now. Your thoughts can be very powerful things, but they are also things that you are in charge of. If thinking a certain way about yourself leads to feeling bad, try being your own devil's advocate and finding evidence that you are good and worthwhile. I can already see that good by your post and you having the courage to share what you are going through and seek help. ", "comment": "For what feels like the longest time, I've wondered if I'm depressed, or if some truly ugly part of me just wants attention. Recently, I am obsessing over it a lot, and was hoping someone could help me out. I'm 17F, so a part of me wonders if this is just a societal thing, that everyone needs something to be wrong with them now. But at the same time, I don't know how I can describe what I feel.\n\nI'm not depressed in the traditional sense. I am not overwhelmingly sad all of the time, and I can smile or laugh genuinely. But on the other hand, I am so fucking tired all of the time. Doing the most simple tasks take forever for me to do, and I'm not sure if it's me being lazy or something else. I used to love going out and doing things with people, and now all I ever want to do is stay in bed. Nothing can ever keep me from boredom, and I mostly just feel indifferent with everything all of the time. \n\nI don't really understand the point of living. Maybe it's an existential crisis, but I don't understand. When I die, no one will care, it won't matter in the long run. My life is meaningless. And since I won't remember any of it when I'm dead, what's the point? I think about suicide briefly a lot. Just seconds here or there, which is why I don't think it's anything. Everyone thinks about suicide right? I think it's a normal thing but don't really have anyone to ask. I'll never go through with it, but everyday when I'm driving home from school down this one big hill, I think about driving straight off the road, and how much better it must be for everyone in the long run. \n\nI can never keep friends, they all end up leaving me after about 5-6 months because they get bored with me or decide they don't want to be my friend anymore. It rips me up every time I think about it, cause I'm not sure why I'm not good enough. I have tried to change who I am or how I act a platitude of times, and yet it never lasts longer than a few hours and I just feel even more worthless. \n\nI feel alone, but don't mind it. I can't focus for very long before I get sidetracked into thinking about my future and how fucked it is. I'm constantly trying to find ways to escape myself, but when those ways can no longer help me, I'm lost all over again.\n\n​\n\nI feel all of these things, yet I also wonder if it's possible that I'm just over-exaggerating what i feel into something way worse for some fucking twisted reason. It scares me if that's true because I think I must be a truly terrible person if it is. \n\n​\n\nAm I the only one that feels this way? Can anybody tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?", "post_id": "a7ixm0", "comment_id": "ec3gx3k"}, {"question": "Coming off 15mg should be easy - it's a small dose. Anyway if this is indeed a withdrawal symptom then it should get better over the next couple of weeks.", "comment": "So I have been taking 15mg mirtazapine for about a year now for sleep. My GP wanted me to come off of it, as did I because it made me so groggy in the morning. So I cut the dose down to 7.5 mg for about a week, then stopped it completely. The only withdrawal symptom I have is excessive sweating. It's to the point now where I'm sweating no matter what and I was wondering -\n\n1) have any of you experienced this? \n\n2) how long does it last? \n\n3) is there anything to do to combat against it or do I just have to deal with it?\n\nThank you so much in advance :)", "post_id": "6wq9av", "comment_id": "dma7o3t"}, {"question": "I have never used talk space,  but state laws require that charts be kept.", "comment": "Curious about how online therapy like talkspace goes through with this process.", "post_id": "ho3iln", "comment_id": "fxfi6fi"}, {"question": "Have you thought about getting mental health services? Making sure your medication is effective, seeing someone to talk about all this stuff, might really help.", "comment": "I recently got hospitalized for suicide attempt and I just feel everything spiraling. They prescribed me an antidepressant at the crisis center and I've heard voices before but I think sense taking the meds it has gotten louder, more intrusive and meaner. I don't actually know if its the meds or just my current state.\n\nUnfortunately everything he tell me seems to be true or eventually happens. I lost my job, I can't seem to ever be in a relationship. I'm getting more paranoid, depressed and lonely. I just want to be good at something, make my father proud and love someone who loves me but he tells me it wont ever happen. He tells me I'll never have those and I'll have less. He's right though. I deserve worse. Some of the thoughts are so bad I just want them to stop", "post_id": "44hfnw", "comment_id": "czqo8ra"}, {"question": "If you have health insurance, you can go to your carrier's website and there should be an option for you to look up providers in your area covered by your insurance.\n\nYou might also consider calling whichever university department runs the clinic ( most universities don't shut down 100% during summer) and ask them for local resources.", "comment": "It's summer. And that means I can't take advantage of the free therapy sessions provided by my university. I've already called a few businesses in my city, some were only offered for children, others only for veterans, etc. What's the best way to search for a Therapist? Yellow pages? Google? Should I be expecting to pay $100/hour for my sessions? Any and all help is appreciated, thank you all. ", "post_id": "1g01tl", "comment_id": "cafhhvu"}, {"question": "I tend to stay away from gauging my sobriety with and having the goal of happiness. I think my seeking of happiness has caused me a lot of trouble in the past and being out for my own happiness is the behavior I've sought change from. I try to gauge where I'm at based on how I'm affecting the people in my life. however I am generally a fairly happy person when I'm positively affecting the people I care for.", "comment": "The whole point of me getting sober was to get well.  I was miserable.  I did not do it for my wife, my kids, or anything else.  I was miserable and living a tortured existence.  And I am happy now.  Well most of the time.  I still have to deal with life.  There still are rotten people in the world, there still is work, I still have considerable debt and a lack of money.  But I am learning how to process these things.  I am learning how to deal with all these things in a healthy manner.  And I am happier than I have ever been.  I still have problems.  But drinking and the misery I felt are not one.\n\nI believe that happiness is the whole point of recovering.  There were times in my recovery when I was miserable.  I was doing it all wrong.  I was afraid to ask for help.  I didn't want to reach out to other alcoholics.  I wanted to be lazy and do things my way.  My way and my hair brained ideas tend to not work.  My brain is what got me into this situation in the first place.\n\nI have discovered that when I am miserable in sobriety I AM DOING IT WRONG. \n\nFor me, a once hopeless and miserable drunk, happiness is attainable.  I have it most days.  It's a wonderful gift.  It's a side effect that, to be honest, I did not believe sobriety would give me.\n\nMy advice to newcomers is to reach out and ask for help.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Find yourselves some sort of program and a sober network.  Use it.  Throw yourself at it with the reckless abandon that we used to use when throwing ourselves at alcohol.  The results can be astonishing.  Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness have brought me a long way in a short time.\n\nPeace, love, and happiness are pretty cool.\n\nI love you guys.", "post_id": "1i2vfa", "comment_id": "cb0u045"}, {"question": "Hi. Just wanted to chime in because it's recognisable for me, and I do have some advice :) It's the advice of **taking control.** Because you are much more powerful than you think. You hold a perception about yourself. You believe something that is making you feel the way you feel. You have the control to take this perception at face value or to not believe it. It sounds very simplistic, right? But this doesn't mean things change overnight (although you might notice a certain difference). It is the start of change. \n\nIt is a difficult journey battling negative self-views. But notice, these negative beliefs are patterns of words, thoughts, that you learned from others. **They are not native to you.** You did not come into this world believing the terrible things about you, as an expression of wonderful life!, that you believe now. Realise that whenever you are feeling shitty it is because you believe something about yourself that is weakening. You are the one making yourself unempowered (as an unconscious habit, but nevertheless). You need to figure out what it is that you believe. It might slip under the radar most of the time, which is where our first step of taking control comes in. We don't simply accept anymore that 'this is how things are'. Our first step is to figure out what it is you believe about yourself. For instance, it might be \"people need to validate me and make me feel that I am worthy/lovable, because it is not something I myself can determine.\" This might be something you learned as a child. Maybe, as an example, you had a parent who needed a lot of your support, and unless you supported them the way they needed, they'd make you feel unimportant or unloved by ignoring you, being mean, not giving you the attention that you deserved, and so on.\n\nIf you walk around with this belief, you hand over the power to others to control how you feel. You look for confirmation of your belief unconsciously, and you see it in things that you don\u2019t even *know*, but that you interpret a certain way. You also see it for real, because you create it, you manifest it, by viewing yourself this way. If you communicate to the world that they control you, the world will accept that view and act on it. If you communicate to the world that you are your own boss, you\u2019re an entrepreneur of feelings and beliefs, the world will have no choice but to accept that view and act on it. \n\nIt is your belief and nothing else that determines the quality of your life. You decide. Red pill or blue pill.", "comment": "I suffer from depression (currently taking antidepressants and start therapy next week) but I constantly feel like I need to be around people to be happy. Like when I\u2019m alone, I get down and my negative thoughts consume me. How can I find my own inner happiness? I don\u2019t have a lot of friends but I feel like my neediness pushes them away.. any advice much appreciated. ", "post_id": "8a35if", "comment_id": "dx6b6th"}, {"question": "That's the kind of question that's better to get through whoever's prescribing. There's no interaction with common oral antihistamines, and I can't think of why there would be one with eye drops, but I've never had it come up!", "comment": "Is it safe to use antihistamine eye drops (in this case, Alaway) while taking Lamotrigine? For the life of me, I can\u2019t seem to find any information on this.\n\n37-year-old white male. 5\u20198\u201d. 178 pounds. There have been no symptoms. I\u2019ve been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Agoraphobia. I\u2019m currently taking 75mg of Lamotrigine per day, and 20mg of Propranolol as needed. I don\u2019t use any recreational drugs (including alcohol), and have never smoked.\n", "post_id": "9m9zmk", "comment_id": "e7d4ez1"}, {"question": "Always ask!", "comment": "First of all I must say that I overthink everything and I just need a little clarification from people outside the situation. So I'm a 17 y/o girl in Texas and I started talking to a 19 y/o guy over Instagram over a month ago. We live in the same city and really hit it off. I'd also like to mention that he has not come off as aggressive or has given off any red flags. He seems to be a perfectly normal and genuine person. \n\nSo last Saturday I met him in person for the first time. I followed all of the right safety precautions etc. Anyways it was a bit awkward at first, but we eventually found our rhythm and just walked around and talked for two hours. We have a lot of similar interests and hobbies. He hugged me when we met and left, he paid for my meal, offered his jacket to me multiple times (because it was a little cool outside), and while we were sitting on a bench talking he brushed my hair out of my face. He also offered me his hand when I was getting off the bench but I didn't realize what he was doing so I didn't reciprocate and I also never accepted his jacket. He didn't seem overly flirtatious in my opinion and we've been texting back and forth every day since. Despite this, the conversations we have aren't flirty or very forward. I'm conflicted because I really like him but I don't want to come off too strong. \n\nAlso I feel a bit weird about the age difference but I also don't? I'm still in high school and he's in college. I'm afraid to just ask how he feels because I think I might just be impatient. I just don't know how he feels about me or what I should do...\n\nAny advice is appreciated! Thank you! Have a great day!\n", "post_id": "67jxna", "comment_id": "dgqytv9"}, {"question": "I'm sorry you're experiencing those types of thoughts, I imagine they are super distressing.  Have you ever had intrusive thoughts like this about anything else or have you ever felt overwhelmed with worry like you do now?  Do you feel like you should be doing something to help her...if so, what?  \n\nI realize this is probably hard to do, but try and lay on your back if you're in bed (with your hands by your side) and close your eyes.  Listen to yourself breathing, and count up every time you exhale by 1.  If you lose count, start over.  If deep breaths work for you, try those.  While you're doing this, allow yourself to feel your body on your bed, the blankets on you, your clothes, etc.  Sometimes, when you're really tense, you might be tensing up your body.  If you notice yourself doing that, try to let go.\n\nDon't worry about responding to the questions unless the breathing doesn't really work for ya.  I hope you feel better! ", "comment": "My Mom has a bad cold and we are all in bed for the night, she\u2019s asleep with my Dad and I can\u2019t stop worrying that she\u2019s going to die.\n\nSpecifically I can\u2019t stop imagining the sound my Dad would make if he woke up beside her body. I\u2019m just curled up in my bed sobbing and I can\u2019t get it out of my head. Please help. Does anyone have any experience with anything like this? I was totally fine 20 minutes ago and now I am a total wreck. ", "post_id": "a9ttli", "comment_id": "ecmj6vd"}, {"question": "It's up to her to say no to him when he's being intrusive.", "comment": "I and my wife have been friends this couple for past three years or so. Initially, we were really hitting off and had no issues. They also became part of our friend circle and are now friends with our every other friends.\n\nNow, I have started noticing some problems in last few months (with husband mainly). To give you some examples -\n\n* He would call my wife directly for catch-up regularly and speak with her for good 10-20 mins but wouldn't talk to me even if I am in the same room. \n\n* We were at a dance party recently and I was trying to dance with my wife (she is fantastic dancer and I am just getting started and hence trying). The couple straight up told me that they would like to dance with the wife and I should move to the side.\n\nTo give you more background - I am not jealous kind of person. I am very open about my wife talking to other guys/friends but I feel things like the ones mentioned above are not normal.\n\nI have brought up this point to my wife and she agrees that it is a problem but we both are not sure how to handle the situation. One way would be to stop talking to them but it doesn't help as we share the same common friends and hangout quite frequently as a group.\n\nAny suggestions/advise would be helpful.\n\n \n\nPS: I have tried to speak with the guy to figure out the problem but he said that he doesn't have any problem.", "post_id": "5wedab", "comment_id": "de9g1xu"}, {"question": "ask him why", "comment": "yesterday, i told my boyfriend he was my world. he changed the topic and didn't say anything back. normally he's very sweet and says i am his life, he loves me, etc. so i let this slide. but later in day, when we were going to sleep, i said it again, and he didn't say it back. should i be concerned? ", "post_id": "5lzfbg", "comment_id": "dbzkgmq"}, {"question": "that's pretty lame I'm afraid. she's not committed to you. she's not ready for a monogamous ltr.", "comment": "This [article](http://motto.time.com/4795013/date-multiple-people-at-once/) came out the other day and my girlfriend of about 3 months came out and told me that she now no longer wants to be exclusive, but wants to be free to date other men because in her words \"I feel like I've put too much into people in the past and let people in only to regret it later because they weren't right for me.\"\n\nShe wants to continue things as normal and oddly has shown more affection since she told me this.  She still wants to have sex, still wants to spend the night at my house and see each other every day, still wants to be affectionate in public, still wants to be emotionally involved with me and call me babe.  She seems to only want to be serious with one person at a time, but \"if a guy comes around and wants to ask her on a date, she wants to deny him because she doesn't think it would work, not because she has a boyfriend.\"  I told her it was fine if she was to do that, but it would mean the end for us, while she would basically want to \"revert back to just dating while she sampled this other guy.\"  She also wants me to do the same thing.\n\nI feel like I could go into more detail about what she means, but it is still just messing with my head and I'm not sure how much it matters for this post.  This morning she texted me and said that she is going to be joining crossfit, and all I can think is that she is going to meet some dude there.  I use to trust her implicitly, now my trust is somewhat gone and I have no security in the relationship.\n\nI can't tell if this is a simple mindset thing and something I need to accept if I want to continue forward with her (I'm head over heels for her, we have meshed so well) or if this is something that is essentially going to be a deal breaker.  Has anyone been through this?  What would you do if your SO said this to you?", "post_id": "6eg7yx", "comment_id": "dia22i2"}, {"question": "Therapist here. Grats on taking that first step!\n\nThe first appointment is generally a \"get to know you\" type set-up: you will fill all the relevant forms, talk about informed consent (kind of like the rules of therapy) and then get started with an initial assessment. People do the assessments differently, and in different timeframes, but either way there will be quite a few questions. Usually we bounce around to a bunch of different topics that may or may not be relevant to why you decided to come.\n\nAt some point during that, you will start to talk a little bit about why you decided to pick up the phone and give them a call and what you are hoping to get out of the process. From there you will talk about follow-up, recommendations the therapist might have, and then potentially schedule your next session.\n\nI always like to tell prospective clients who are nervous to spend some time prior to coming and write down some questions they might want to ask me. That way you can get more information and you can feel more comfortable.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "dm3zxh", "comment_id": "f4xzple"}, {"question": "I've offered [social skills coaching](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/social-skills-coaching) for the past few years. I might be able to help you out :)\n\nAlso, a professional therapist will have a lot of tips and tricks that can help you be more social. So looking into therapy could be a good option for you, too.", "comment": "Reading about social skills is only doing so much for me.\n\nAre there any useful classes, retreats, coaches or whatever that can *teach* these things from skilled instructors?", "post_id": "3bw6hs", "comment_id": "csqa98f"}, {"question": "Possibly depressed, but get relaxation from breathing exercises?", "comment": "I am in this constant low energy and mood state I have noticed sometimes it gets completely lifted when I do breathing exercises for about 10 minutes. It usually last about an hour. I feel like a new person almost. Why is this happening? I also have allergies but I don't feel congested most of the time. \n\n22 Male\n\n190lb, 6'1\n\nHave allergies\n\nDuration: over a year", "post_id": "4y13p8", "comment_id": "d6k341h"}, {"question": "This [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) is basically exactly what you're looking for. Good luck, and don't forget to practice! :)", "comment": "Hey SocialSkills,\n\nI'm honestly just curious, what are some things that YOU converse about and how you bring it up in a conversation with a random person.  Are there specific websites you find very interesting topics?  I'm just curious what you actually converse about, I've been so out of the loop lately I can't even think back to what is Socially acceptable to talk about and its honestly just screwing up how I talk with people, but maybe if I get a guideline of somethings you all talk about I might be able to grasp it.  Also does anyone have any suggestions on something I can read to get better at just cracking subtle jokes about whatever or even if anyone has tips on being atleast a little bit comical in a conversation so it's not just dry conversation.  I feel like the only thing causing me to feel the nervousness is because I got nothing to feed into a conversation.  I appreciate everyone who read this as well as those who decide to reply, anything will be GREATLY appreciated as I just want a general idea of somethings.  Thank you very much!!!\n\n", "post_id": "13x32n", "comment_id": "c782sag"}, {"question": "he's abusive and immature. see a couples therapist; it will resolve it one way or another", "comment": "Okay so I'm in my early 20's and I'm with someone who I tell myself is great 80% of the time. And when I say great I mean he's laughing goofing around and is I'm a general good mood. But not in a way you would think a boyfriend would be as in he rarely does anything for me and I don't remember the last time he said something nice but I reeeally make the most of these good moods even if they still don't really benefit me. So basically the other 20% of the time he gets in these tears where everything I do is wrong. I'm a naturally skinny person always have been but he makes me feel like I'm overweight and my body is too ugly to look at because I'm not toned. I cook clean and literally do anything he asks. I'm available 24/7, I never go out or drink or go away for a night with friends. But he does he goes out drinks and is never there when I need him. Also he has done everything but have sex with another girl in the time we've been together but always says he will change. He says I have no motivation in life and I'm going nowhere and a complete waste of space etc... he can get aggressive also not just mental abuse but physical. Nothing as bad as what other people have gone through just like pulling my hair and slapping and spitting at me etc.. Even now I'm thinking why am I with him but I'm holding on to the good things because I care about him too much. It's not easy to walk away because we live together and where we're from is a VERY small city and obviously as weird as it sounds I really love him. I think I need to hear from people other than friends and family as to what you think ", "post_id": "5ri1ws", "comment_id": "dd7j582"}, {"question": "After contact I think, which can mean that you might be asymptomatic when contagious. Otherwise it could be argued that the common cold can be contained with reasonable precautions rather than being the global killer it is.", "comment": "Source: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000678.htm", "post_id": "5pjdv8", "comment_id": "dcrku32"}, {"question": "FWIW, regardless of whether I was sticking with my therapist or trying a new one, in your shoes, I would make sure to tell my therapist that one of my main goals is to receive feedback and specific advice/strategies to use. Lots of therapists do not operate that way, so it's helpful to make those expectations clear.", "comment": "I resent my counselor. I feel like I really opened up to her and she didn't give me any feedback really. I did 12 sessions with her and talked with her about many facets of life. She really helped me the first like 8 sessions. She began to disregard stuff I was saying and I sort of fell apart in my life at that time. Ever since then the sessions didn't go anywhere. I felt like she didn't give me any advice or feedback. She ended by asking a question that really angered me because I felt she was being patronizing by asking it. I didn't feel like going back after that.\n\nI just feel like I shared a lot about myself. More so then I ever did with anyone. It doesn't feel like it was worth it. I feel like I would be better off having never done it. To think there is a permanent file on my record about everything I told her that some important person can later look on and pity me, infuriates me. \n\nI knew my life wasn't all it could be but some of her reactions to the things I was telling her makes me think my life is pathetic compared to other...normal people. She gave me the feeling that I'm just a sad person and she said I don't look happy.\n\nAll these things just piss me off.\n\nI know this is vague. Anything helps. Thanks all.", "post_id": "gypu1b", "comment_id": "ftbyph8"}, {"question": "There was one paper in Cell ([Eroglu et al. 2009](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cell.2009.09.025), if you're interested) that found that gabapentin inhibits synapse formation\u2014one kind of synapse, driven by one particular neurotransmitter. That got turned into a fair amount of hysterical press by the people who get hysterical about drugs. And yet subsequently people have continued to take gabapentin without significant cognitive or neurodegenerative problems.\n\nBrains are complicated and there is a lot that we don't know, but it seems to me that another reasonable hypothesis is that aberrant or maladaptive synapses drive epilepsy, neuropathic pain, and possibly anxiety, and so reducing those synapses is what helps. There's not much to back that, especially for anxiety, but there's nothing to say that it's wrong.\n\nMy only objection is that the evidence for gabapentin in anxiety is there, but it's much more limited than with other medications such as SSRIs like fluoxetine (Prozac). There are reasons to pick gabapentin, maybe, but there should be reason not to use one of the other very safe and better-supported medications.", "comment": "23\nMale\n6 feet \n150 pounds \nWhite\n1 year\nBrain, mind\nSocial anxiety, Generalized Anxiety \nGabapentin 300 mg 2x daily \n\nI take Gabapentin for my anxiety as my psychiatrist said it\u2019s very safe with less issues than other anxiety medications. I read an article online that says it prevents the formation of new brain synapses. Is this really true??\n", "post_id": "az5r0n", "comment_id": "ei6tqap"}, {"question": "Speaking as a UK shrink myself, do you feel able to give context? Only if youre up to doing so, of course.", "comment": "In the early hours this morning my little cousin took his own life after being cleared by 2 different psychiatric doctors. I'm seething. This has been covered up. We are in the process of gathering as much information as we can about the places he was kept in. Apparently a suicide note isn't enough to get someone sectioned these days. Good old NHS.", "post_id": "da2oc9", "comment_id": "f1n7af0"}, {"question": "I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that.  I hope your son does get something out of his time at the hospital but he will really need ongoing care.  \n\nIf he seems apprehensive or resistant to go going to therapy, I'll tell you the same thing I tell most parents of children they want in therapy or people with spouses they want in therapy but are resistant.  Go to therapy yourself, for yourself.  Find a therapist you can relate to and feel comfortable with to help you sort out some of your own stuff.  Talk about it openly with your family.  Let your son see that not only is it okay to go to therapy but that it can be really helpful.  \n\nLeading by example or modeling is by far the best thing that you can do to encourage someone you love to really give therapy a chance.  Aside from the fact that it would probably help you a lot if you can find a therapist you connect with, it works like great reverse psychology.  If you tell him \"you need to do this\" he'll likely rebel.  If you show him \"Hey look!  I have this awesome thing that I'm doing.  I really like it and have found it helpful\" there's a good chance he'll want that too.\n\n\nThink little kids and vegetables.  Try to force them to eat them and they'll fight you tooth and nail.  Show them that you love vegetables (whether it's true or not) and they'll want what you're having.  \n\n\nI hope this helps.  Best of luck to you and your family.  Stay strong!\n\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)    ", "comment": "I guess I just need to vent so here goes.\n\nMy son tried to commit suicide yesterday. His mother found him in his room with a cord wrapped around his neck. He was choking himself. Thankfully he wasn't hanging from anywhere. 911 was called and they took him to the hospital. Thankfully, he is okay.\n\nI am hurt and angry. I am afraid. \n\nHe said he didn't want to live anymore because his girlfriend broke up with him. Or attempted to rather. He basically pulled the \"if you break up with me I will kill myself\" line. She ended up coming to the hospital to be by his side.\n\nHe is currently on a 72 hour hold and we hope he makes the most of his time there. He is on medication for his depression and anxiety. He needs to see a therapist, but how do you get an 18 year old to realize they need help and to get the most out of that help, they need to be willing to open up. Opening up means vulnerability. Opening up means trusting the person, and he has a lot of trust issues.\n\nI have been a part of his life for the last 3 years. Before I came along their lives were chaotic and in upheaval all the time. Now with me, they have a calm, peaceful and more importantly, stable life to be a part of. This kid has tested me beyond what I have ever been tested. But I haven't gone anywhere. I have been in the picture, maintaining that stability. I love him like he is my own son. \n\nI am just at a loss as to what I should do. I am doing my best to be supportive, to be there. But I can't stand by and watch him break. How can I get him to realize his life is important, that he matters? That he needs to think about himself & not rely on a woman to make him happy? He has stated that he isn't happy without her. Why should she be guilted into staying? That isn't fair to her either. \n\n  \nAgain, I just needed to vent, so thank you for reading.", "post_id": "9fb5zj", "comment_id": "e5v6am9"}, {"question": "Six months out, previous antidepressants aren\u2019t causing anything as far as we know. It\u2019s up to you and discussion with your psychiatrist on whether the current state of affairs is good or whether antidepressants were doing something worthwhile\u2014and either way, whether restarting antidepressants or more therapy or both is the right course of treatment for you.", "comment": "Hi everyone! I (25F) come of my antidepressants about 6 months ago, it was a relatively fast taper and withdrawal was hellish but I got through ok with my drs support. \n\nI was on different antidepressants for about 6yrs - a psychiatrist advised that they probably weren\u2019t working and that therapy would be best. \n\nI\u2019m asking now if it\u2019s possible that the length of time I was on them could cause random \u2018down periods\u2019 of depression and anxiety etc, as overall my mental health has improved significantly with a lot of work. \n\nI\u2019ve heard from people that getting back to normal could take around a year, but I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019s what\u2019s going on here or if it\u2019s general mental health problems still.\n\nAny advice about the length of time for my brain to return to \u2018normal\u2019 or if the length of time I was on the drugs could be a cause? Thank you!", "post_id": "dfxqt2", "comment_id": "f376be3"}, {"question": "To add to the chorus here: it's worth a second opinion. In fact, any physician who is not a hematologist or oncologist who is pitching stem cell therapy sets off immediate alarm bells for me. Those therapies are, as he said, very expensive; they're also unproven and often predatory.\n\nSee if you can find a urogynecologist. You have a number of symptoms and systems involved, and a colorectal surgeon may not be the most appropriate to deal with urogenital issues.", "comment": "Sex: Female\n\nAge: currently 20 (Age when injury occurred 4-5 yo)\n\nHeight: 5'5\n\nWeight: 117lb \n\n​\n\nPertinent history: Born with imperforate anus and vaginal fistula. \n\nAnyway, I had the reconstruction done for the fistula and got a brand new fake butt hole when I was a baby (yay, no poop bag!) \n\nI was raped a few times when I was 4/5 years old and basically, because my anus was so close to my vagina due to my deformity, my perineum tore and because no health care was ever sought, my perineum is like a centimeter thick and it's all scar tissue. \n\nMy vaginal entry also has scar tissue that constantly tears when I have sex. \n\nOn top of that, I have really bad pain when I pee sometimes. If I drink lots and lots of water, the pain goes away. (This is an always thing, even when I have no UTI's, which I get a lot.)\n\nI  remember after the assault, I was peeing blood days later. \n\n​\n\nThe fecal and urinary incontinence is pretty bad. \n\n​\n\nAt 18 I had my first OBGYN appointment and she said the issues on my genitalia are consistent with sexual assault. She recommended me to the best colorectal surgeon in my state. Went to go see him. \n\nExam took maybe 2 minutes before he turned around with a solemn face and said there was nothing he could do and that \"99% of doctors would choose not to operate because the tissue was just too thin\" \n\nHe said the best he could do was this new stem cell treatment at the time but it was too expensive for me. \n\nI'll be honest, I handled everything in my life pretty okay but it was way too much for to me to find out the damage was permanent. I had dreamed as a little girl that one day I'd get this all fixed and I'd be better. So I never saw the urologist I was supposed to see and I just dropped everything. \n\n​\n\nI plan on saving up some money these next few years for treatment, but should I even bother?   \n\n\nWould one of those surgical teams that helps women with vaginal reconstruction for genital mutilation do it? A friend offered to go through them but I was too scared to find out they couldn't help me. \n\n​\n\n​\n\nWhere do I start?", "post_id": "brrefn", "comment_id": "eoh3aiv"}, {"question": "Whilst I agree that it's not good to take more of anything than recommended, I am a strong proponent of NOT discharging anyone because of it. I mean, what's the point of that? ", "comment": "It literally gets me no where and the only time I get treated is when I lie..I don't like doing that. \n\nFor example. One 'Psychiatrist' I saw I was honest about one of my meds, Ativan, that have taken for years. Naturally I have a tolerance. I told him I take two of the one milligrams to function. He said \" so you are taking more then I told you too?\"\n\nMe \" I guess I am\" \n\nHim\" well I am going to have to ask you to leave my practice\"\n\nI just said ok no problem' but I'm thinking to myself..like damn I can't even tell a shrink the truth? How am I evef going to be treated or get therapy if I can't be honest?? This isn't the only time just one spec example.", "post_id": "7f0n6k", "comment_id": "dq8xmkq"}, {"question": "It's essentially exposure therapy and some other tried & true therapeutic techniques with extra (unscientific) stuff tossed in to make it seem fancy. It has some research evidence to show that it works, however it is not for the reason they claim.", "comment": "Someone suggested that I try it but as its not on the NHS I feel like I need to know more before I pursue it. So anyone? Any experiences or useful nuggets of information?", "post_id": "1d8spv", "comment_id": "c9o36ky"}, {"question": "It really can be exhausting.  When I feel like it gets to be too much, I try to take a break from social media for at least a few days.  It's hard because it's how most of my friends organize get togethers and I'm trying to get a blog off the ground so I can't spend too much time away, but sometimes it's absolutely needed.\n\nIt doesn't make everything go away because you still see things on television and around town, but when you're not carrying it around in your pocket, that's a welcome relief.  \n\nBest of luck getting yourself right again and thank you for your service.  \n\n-The Web Shrink\n\nP.S.  I'd love to hear about your experience with mental health in the military.  Long before I started my blog when I was rolling around the idea in my head, I wanted to write an article on mental health in the military, the good, the bad, and suggestions for how service men and women coming out can get proper care.  I've talked to many individuals already but I want to make sure I get as much information as possible.  If you'd care to share your experiences and answer some questions, PM me.  \n", "comment": "Hello everyone, I am a 6 year veteran that got out of the service this year due to major depression and anxiety. Once I came home thinking that life was going to get better, things took a bit of a turn when I got out a few months after the election with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump...So here's my story I believe everyone should have their own freedom of speech and opinions on a lot of things like whether or not a transgender should be allowed to serve in the military or use the opposite gender\u2019s bathroom, if a person should\u2019ve been shot or get harmed by police depending on their color or situation of the incident, and even if whether Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump should've/shouldn't have won the presidency. I was very happy once the election was over because of all the things that were going on such as news, commercials, celebrities, social media, and even TV Show\u2019s bashing out on who you need to vote for to be the next president. I don\u2019t know about you guys, but things were getting very ugly during this time and my anxiety was getting worse as the days were getting closer to the election and everywhere you go whether it was the public, tv, or social media that people were pushing for you to vote for either or and explaining why we should or shouldn\u2019t vote for one or the other. It was something I couldn\u2019t avoid and every day during that time period my headaches gotten worse and my wish for this came to an end once the final results came in. But just when I thought it was finally the end, things have gotten even more ugly :/ Ever since our current president won the election, everything took a down turn with social media and society. Everywhere I go whether it's in the public, television, or even social media...There's always a huge hate/statement about our president, politics, gender equality, sexism, racism, anything to cause controversies. I know people are going to tell me to just avoid it, but it's completely UNAVOIDABLE because everywhere it always comes down to politics and other issues with society. Since I got out of the service this year, my anxiety gets to the point where I can't take it dealing or hearing about something wrong with America because someone doesn't like how things aren't going the way they're having it and it comes to where I just don't want to wake up from my sleep because I'm so tired and exhausted on hearing people bash out about everything they don't like. As I'm typing this post, my anxiety and depression has gotten better knowing that I\u2019m letting everything out on this post and that at least one person might read this and realize someone is struggling mentally because everyone is whining and complaining about something and it spreads like wild fire and will eventually come to me somehow. All I\u2019m asking is that there\u2019s a time and place for anything, whether it\u2019s a tv show, sports, entertainment, movies, etc\u2026Just leave your opinions out of it and can you just give an ex-military guy a break for once. Thank you", "post_id": "6wp3ug", "comment_id": "dm9pq9w"}, {"question": "Hi. In brief..... i wonder if you have a broader difficulty with severe anxiety/emotional dysregulation. That experience of getting totally stuck on past events could be a symptom of anxiety. Often ongoing anxiety brings down mood too as it can be so impairing in your daily life. Have you tried any treatment specific to this? Also, for you your identity might be very much focused on relationships and your interpersonal functioning so its natural that events related to these keep your focus and distress you ++, even though you have had even riskier experiences. Just a few thoughts...best wishes and good luck. Iwndwyt.", "comment": "Every time I get a little bit of sobriety under my belt (only a week or so) I find myself with crippling anxiety surrounding things I did when I was drunk. It gets so bad that it almost feels like my brain trying to trick me into drinking. \n\nI\u2019ve done many things while drunk that in retrospect could, and probably should, have had dire consequences. I had a dui. I\u2019ve been so wasted and confused that strangers had to get me home. I\u2019ve blacked out while watching my child. I\u2019ve woken up with a black eye and no idea how it got there (later found out I face planted a toilet), I\u2019ve gotten in a wreck and had police let me go into the custody of my spouse, because (I was told)  I was telling them I did it on purpose because I wanted to die. Also many instances of self harm. All of these occurred over a 2-3 year period, when I was finally opening up and trying to work through a good bit of childhood trauma. After therapy, medication, etc...my drinking slowed down substantially but never stopped.\n\nIn the years since that, the drinking disasters have become less jail/death and more social/family disruption. Fighting with my husband. Being drunk in my best friends wedding. Crying to my mom for hours about my dad who passed over 20 years ago. Drunk texting people I hadn\u2019t spoken to in years, for no reason. Blacking out in front of my in-laws and being way too open about emotional/personal things that were inappropriate in the setting.  Telling people\u2019s secrets and talking behind people\u2019s backs...which is something I really dislike in a person. Being so blacked out for things that I looked forward to, that I don\u2019t feel like I was even there...and can never get them back.  Making plans with friends and then passing out before we could really do it. The list goes on and on. \n\nThe weird thing (I think it\u2019s weird) is that my anxiety centers solely on this second group of behaviors, not the first. I don\u2019t sit around thinking, I could have killed someone, I could have lost my child or my vision, I could be in prison. I think, I bet the other bridesmaids think I\u2019m the worst friend ever, my mother-in-law must hate that her son married me, I wasted my friends time, I don\u2019t deserve these people. \n\nI\u2019ve been very lucky in how much I haven\u2019t lost so far. I still have my family, friends, and career that I started with...though the relationships have changed and shifted. Some for better, some for worse, but they\u2019re all still there. I am very emotional, empathetic, and have a huge fear of \u201closing people.\u201d I have always felt insecure in my relationships and that I inherently am not good enough (that\u2019s a totally different 14 pg post...). While I have done things that are embarrassing and disruptive, the level of shame I carry with me seems totally out of proportion (for the social stuff not the serious stuff).\n\nFor example, My friends wedding was just under a year ago. We had all drank before the ceremony, but I obviously drank the most. I cried throughout the ceremony, (which I always do) but her uncle, who I\u2019ve known for years, picked on me about it. The rest of the night was a blast, we danced / ate / drank. I saw her the next morning and have seen her numerous times since then. She had never once made me feel like she even noticed or cared about the crying. I have had massive anxiety about it for an entire year. I feel like I\u2019ve rewritten the entire day in my head, where I was obnoxious, offensive, embarrassing, sloppy...though ive been assured numerous times I wasnt. I\u2019ve even had myself convinced that I stood in the wrong place, and half believed it until I saw the pictures. Sometimes it\u2019s so bad. I get to the point that I have had to pull over and call my husband sobbing. I went to therapy and she said it\u2019s not about the wedding, it\u2019s something else. \n\nI\u2019m so confused as to why I can\u2019t let go of something like the wedding, but I don\u2019t feel much when I think of the wreck. I know AA says make amends, but I can honestly say I\u2019m not capable of that, at least at this point. The thought of it makes me want lots of vodka. So, is there anything I can do to help move on? I try to get it into perspective by telling myself, \u201cpeople have their own lives. That was just a blip on their radar. Everyone still loves you. You\u2019re the only person still thinking about it.\u201d But it feels like my brain won\u2019t let me move past these things. If I\u2019m not actively engaged in trying to keep from drinking, it doesn\u2019t bother me that much. I can go weeks without thinking of it (even when not really drinking that much), but soon after the day I decide to commit, it\u2019s right back there as powerful as ever.\n\nIs it possible to move on from the past versions of yourself? I feel like I\u2019m too embarrassed and ashamed of that person to move forward as a new person. It feels like being on one of those body swapping movies (think parent trap) only to arrive at your new life and realize your secret clone has left you with a lot of ugly / embarrassing social garbage to clean up, so it would be easier to just return to your British/castle/awesome life...and I normally look in a bottle for that one. ", "post_id": "91hxhu", "comment_id": "e2yiirt"}, {"question": "Anyone with any ideas on this?", "comment": "Hi. I've found the above e.g. visualisation/hypnosis exercises usefull for stress etc. Has anyone came across similar for anger? Thanks. Best wishes.", "post_id": "93f1un", "comment_id": "e3ejano"}, {"question": "Genuinely listen and be curious about the other person. \nAsk follow up questions to get more details.   \nAdd relevant stories from your life.   \n\nMaybe learn some small talk topics.   Like a popular news story that you can talk about, or a recent movie or book that is popular.   Sometimes just randomly bringing up a topic like that can get conversation flowing.   \n\nLastly, Be willing to let a conversation drop.  If you find that your parter doesn't have much to say or doesn't seem engaged, then know that it's OK to have a brief conversation.   It isn't a failure on your part.   Sometimes it's better to move on rather than try to force it.  It leaves open the possibility of talking to them again later. \n\nEdit:  Try to have a conversation with women like you would a guy.   They aren't special or different.   If you feel like trying to date them, then getting to know them is just as important.   And it's OK if you don't have chemistry with a girl.   Dating is all about finding someone who you get along well with and have chemistry with. \n\n", "comment": "I usually have trouble keeping a conversation going with people especially with women. I want help on how to keep a conversation going or start one. If anyone can go in depth with the response, I'll greatly appreciate it!", "post_id": "2r0d94", "comment_id": "cnb8vmq"}, {"question": "Get a weighted blanket! I got one for Christmas and can\u2019t believe how well I am sleeping. The heaviness of the blanket seems to take away my urge to move around or bounce my leg and if I wake up I go right back to sleep. I have wanted for a while but didn\u2019t realize just how much it would help me sleep.", "comment": "Having only been diagnosed a year or so ago (maybe two? Remembering dates is hard) I've  been given medicine to help me focus, however I still suffer from just the worst sleep schedule, problems falling asleep, issues with getting into a tired/sleepy state (to actually start the process of falling alseep) and just wanted to know if any of you people struggle with the same issues and what you do to sleep better/prepare yourself for sleep more effectively.\n\nThanks, you guys all rock!", "post_id": "aacfld", "comment_id": "ecqultc"}, {"question": "How do you feel after you eat them? Night shades aren\u2019t automatically out for folks with autoimmune issues, but generally are rec to be trialed. This is more about your unique body and how you feel than PCOS in general IMO. ", "comment": "Hi ladies, quick question. I have heard that PCOS is an autoimmune condition. With that in mind, now I am actually taking my health seriously, should I be avoiding/reducing my intake of nightshade vegetables? Any advice welcome! ", "post_id": "ap7371", "comment_id": "eg7hk8l"}, {"question": "I hope you get a chance to get to know the girl you like better like you hoped. Chin up, you\u2019re not a loser, and you will find your way.", "comment": "So today, I decided to talk to a girl from my college class and ask her if she would give me the opportunity to get to know her better. I have always been scared of being rejected, especially by girls. Having ADHD means I'm super expressive, even when I can't tell how expressive I am. Anyways she took it well, i guess, and I told myself to take it well. I was pretty high btw, but nonetheless a bit confident. Walking away i told myself its okay if i get rejected, its okay she doesnt owe me anything, and she doesnt! and i was fine going to the story and enjoying myself, but once at home i realize im super lonely and super picky, i try not to be lonely by being outgoing and staying away from home, but i cant help it when im depressed. I want to be able to reach out to family and friends, because every one sees me as joyous and hyper and energetic, but nobody sees the negatives, which is the part where i beat myself up for  being a failure, for being a loser, for not getting anywhere in my life. Thanks for listening, i just needed to vent to someone at least", "post_id": "a5zs7z", "comment_id": "ebqmejk"}, {"question": "It really depends.\n\nWhen I was a teenager, I wondered the same thing. I figured things would get better once I grew up and was on my own. But - I just ended up learning that how I was raised was not acceptable (abusive home). I tried to have a relationship with them once I grew up, because hell - they're my family. But it was destroying my mental health and ultimately I had to cut ties in order to save myself.\n\nI miss my family, no matter how awful they were. I truly wish I could have found a way to make it work - but it surely wasn't for a lack of trying. ", "comment": "Just a quick question because as far as I know a lot of teenagers don't like their parents, is it true all people eventually start to like their parents?", "post_id": "36ri2q", "comment_id": "crgyhjq"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sorry that happened. I can imagine how jarring that would be when you\u2019re sharing such vulnerable experiences. Idk you but want to say how proud I am of you that you\u2019re able to open up and that it shows your courage to go into therapy and to be so vulnerable.  \n\n I don\u2019t know why they would ask that as 1) that\u2019s content over process and wouldn\u2019t be important overall 2) seems more like their curiosity vs actually gathering helpful info 3) it totally interrupts the flow of what you were talking about and sharing. \n\nIt doesn\u2019t sound like that was helpful in anyway. A sexual assault is a very vulnerable experience to be talking about and I don\u2019t see the relevance of whether it was anal or vaginal being important at that time. It might be something I would ask later, but idk that I would need to. It\u2019s not about how you were assaulted it\u2019s about the trauma and the impact it had on your life. I don\u2019t think the detail of anal or vaginal penetration would change my approach to working with someone who\u2019s been assaulted.  \n\nI would bring it up to them and ask why they thought that was necessary. Also, share with them how it affected you in the moment when you were sharing really vulnerable things and how you thought about it and wondered after session.  It would be good feedback for them and hopefully they can give you some insight into why they would interrupt in that moment.", "comment": "Sexual assault TW \n\nI was at therapy tonight talking through memories of my sexual assault and my therapist asked me if the sex was vaginal or anal. This strikes me as very odd and a strange question especially considering I just was extremely vulnerable with her. Am I being sensitive??? Why would she ask this question????", "post_id": "eclsvc", "comment_id": "fbd0lez"}, {"question": "Are you in therapy? I've found a lot of people smoke to self medicate. Therapy might help with some of the psychological cravings", "comment": "Because it's so widely accepted and casual. If you tell someone you have a weed problem, they'll laugh at you and say \"it's just willpower\" or saying \"just do it in moderation\".  \n\nNow that it's basically legal where I live, it's everywhere. EVERYBODY SMOKES.     \n\nIt's not that hard to resist temptation, unless you're on day 40 and had the shittiest day ever and are going through mad psychological withdrawals and someone offers you a hit of that joint you know will make everything feel good again.    \n\nNo one takes you seriously when you explain that you've psychologically depended on weed for the last 15 years and that you go mentally insane without it. That your neurochemistry goes haywire for months on end. That you don't know how to cope with life outside of weed. That you don't know how to make up for the loss time you wasted being high. That you've built a whole lifestyle, personality, and identity around smoking weed, even if it wasn't intentional.    \n\nEdit: and I'm starting to realize it's also just very easy to fit into every aspect of life. It's not a habit that you have to hide from people like other drugs, and it's not so strong that it completely impairs you, so you can smoke it all the time and before you know it, everything you do is now associated with weed, and your unconscious brain now makes those associations.  ", "post_id": "46jhqm", "comment_id": "d05rhw2"}, {"question": "This must be so hurtful! \n\nWhatever the heck happened,  he is making it really clear he needs space.  We don't know what is happening on his end , and  may be going through something pretty serious.  If you can, it may be helpful if you can seek support from someone other than him for your legitimate pain. I worry that he is further burdened by your emotional reaction and can't respond if he is in crisis. \n\nYou clearly care very much about this man and I hope you get answers.", "comment": "(Long story, but ultimately looking for advice from anyone who knows anything about dissociative identity disorder / trauma / how to handle a break-up)\n\nMy ex boyfriend and I met on the first day of university last year, since he lived in the dorm room next to me. He had a crush on me for the entirety of our first semester of uni, and I knew he did, and he also knew that I did not return his feelings at the time. Still, he was basically my best friend for those 5 months and we talked/hung out every day.\n\nAt the end of the first semester I began developing feelings for him too, but I was too scared to do anything about it until I confessed to him at the end of last January and we started dating. When COVID hit and universities started to close their dorms, I convinced my parents to let him live with us because his family is incredibly abusive. So, he lived at my house for 1.5 months and met my whole family and everything seemed great. I've never felt so comfortable and so secure around anyone in my life.\n\nBut in the middle of may he went back to live with his family because the school year had finished. His family plays a very important part in this story. His mother is insanely sensitive/emotionally manipulative/anxious/homophobic and very much a traditionalist, and his father has physically and sexually abused him throughout his life. He has not told me much of these details directly, but I can infer things from what he has told me and whenever he talks about how terrible his parents are he tends to laugh it off.\n\nSince summer started, I have not seen him or talked to him over the phone (only text) until about three weeks ago when I visited his house. Being at his house was the most awkward thing I have ever experienced. There were holes in his ceiling at various locations throughout the house and periodically there was just pieces of wood instead of ceiling (which my ex said was to cover water damage). None of the doors in his house had locks on them and there were security cameras everywhere inside. Besides that, his house was absolutely spotless (think: Ikea showroom. Even his bedroom looked fake) and throughout the entire time I was there his mom was cleaning up things and watching us from a distance. I was anxious the entire time I was there and I even mentioned to him how I understand now why he cannot stand being at his parents house. I have never felt as terrible as I felt when I was at that house.\n\nWell, 2 days ago he starts texting me about how he wants to go to therapy and he's scared it's going to unearth dissociative identity disorder because he's been compartmentalizing his trauma/stress all his life. I know enough about DID to know the implications of that but I've never had lived experience with knowing someone who had DID. So of course I told him that no matter what happens I'll always be there for him. Immediately afterwards, he sends me a text basically saying that after some self reflection he has decided to break up with me. I kept asking why, and he keeps saying it's because ever since 3 weeks ago he has just felt no romantic attraction to me (even though I haven't seen him or talked to him and we have been exceptionally close for the past year). I kept telling him that that makes no sense and that I've known him so well and that if he stopped having feelings for me, there has to be a reason why, but he keeps stating that it's normal to randomly lose feelings for people and that there doesn't have to be a reason. I've begged him to literally tell me any reason why and he just kept getting frustrated with me and told me that it's normal to lose feelings. He also said that he did 100% feel attracted to me when he was living with me at college and at my house, but says \"I have a problem with mirroring other people's emotions so I don't know how much of my attraction was just mirroring your attraction but I can promise you I did feel attraction to you that entire time\".\n\nI am just so lost right now. It just doesn't make sense. He's supposed to be my roommate at university next year so I asked him if we could maybe just take a break instead of breaking up entirely since his lack of attraction is so out of nowhere, but he was very adamantly opposed to that idea. I have no idea what to do or what to think or how to rationalize this and I won't have any type of closure until I see him at university in two months.\n\nNone of it makes sense and I have no idea how much of it is me being in denial or how much of it is a result of his mental state or his parents or anything and I would just like some outside input and any advice on how to cope at all.", "post_id": "hjiedl", "comment_id": "fwndfzk"}, {"question": "As some folks have said on here, women mature faster than men do on average.  This is one of the reasons why women usually go for same age or older men.  Aside from that, the maturity gap between 23 and 18 is fairly substantial.  The older you get, 5 years difference means less and less, but at this age, it's kind of rough.  \n\n\nI'd offer three pieces of advice.  \n\n\nIf you are looking to date older women, you have to not just look but act much more mature than someone your age.  This generally means either working full time or being a full time college student, being financially independent, able to take care of yourself without much help from parents (ie. washing clothes, keeping house clean, paying bills, transportation, etc.).  If you can do all of this, you may be able to attract an older woman that doesn't have a whole lot of issues.  \n\n\nThe second piece of advice is be very mindful who you're dating.  Many older women who would date someone so much younger (at this age gap 23 dating 18) are likely either very immature themselves for their age (which in some ways wouldn't be a huge issue since they'd be more on your level) or have some issues that may contribute to an unhealthy relationship.  \n\n\nLastly, you're 18.  While I didn't necessarily practice what I'm preaching, I'd say not to look for long term relationships.  Date around, get to know different people.  If something turns in to a long term relationship, that's awesome, but don't go out with the mindset of looking for your soul mate from the get go.", "comment": "Not really too familiar with what's normally considered appropriate ages for dating in the adult realm. \n\nI tend to think girls my age look like children and think 23 year olds are way hotter and people have told me they think I'm 20-25 when they first met me (I've got a beard). And I've hit on 23 year olds in the past and gotten their numbers and connected really well only to realise their age later via text rofl. \n\nI know if I'm 23 as a guy dating a girl who's 19 that would be pretty social acceptable. But would like to know how socially acceptable the reverse would be. (Not that it'll make me change my mind on dating 23 year olds.) \n\nWhat's your opinion on short term vs long term with this situation?", "post_id": "bbkvg6", "comment_id": "ekjwssy"}, {"question": "Looks like you and I are the same. New to sobriety and trying to manage my panic attacks. They are reoccurring and I'm frequently convinced that something else is the problem until the panic subsides. It's hard to track them but I'm doing my best to live a life outside of fear of the next one or what other little thing may be the next big problem in my life. About to go off Paxil after a short stint on that. Working on vitamins, meditation, healthy foods etc. I do have Ativan as a safety net for if I do have one I can't control. Be carful as benzos are very addictive. Other than that- I do better focusing on my health and then focusing on thinking outward rather than in. ", "comment": "Every time I get used to a \"pattern\" in the random panic attacks they throw me for another loop. They don't seem to be set off by anything in particular.\n\nI'll be pretty sure that something is actually wrong, and once the panic tapers off I'll realize that its this again.\n\nDid you get panic attacks completely randomly at this point? It also kinda seems like those that get panic attacks go through this process a bit differently than those that don't seem to get them.\n\nI don't seem to \"crave\" at all, I dream about drinking a lot though. I'm wondering if I'm \"craving\" without the thoughts of drinking when these panic attacks happen.\n\nGetting rambly, more so than anything I just need to be able to come back during the inevitable next attack and see that this is what you guys felt too.", "post_id": "43pxeu", "comment_id": "czk4325"}, {"question": "In my family as a kid the only safe emotion to show was anger. One time I was in the car with my family and I was feeling very hurt and frustrated because some friends at school were causing some drama that resulted in me feeling like they didn\u2019t care about me. I wasn\u2019t saying anything about it of course but it was brewing up inside of me. One of my parents asked me a question and it caused me to start to yell about how this person or that person sucked. And then, accidentally, I started to cry and my anger turned to sadness and I started saying how I felt like none of my friends liked me or cared about me and I\u2019m not good enough for them. I cried about how I felt like I didn\u2019t have any \u201creal\u201d friends. No one responded. Just silence. \n\nA few days later I was about to leave the house to hang out with some people and my brother goes \u201cwhere are you going? Remember, you don\u2019t have any friends! *snicker/evil grin*\u201d \n\nLet a primary emotion slip out and my family never let you forget it. ", "comment": "Especially in front of other individuals? Like it somehow makes you vulnerable, or you've let yourself down in some sense. As if in some way, you've failed to keep some unspoken promise to yourself?", "post_id": "80kbjf", "comment_id": "duwpdxu"}, {"question": "[You could point her to this?](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/medicallyunexplainedsymptoms.aspx)", "comment": " 33 old female white skinny 5 ft 8 has been feeling bad. She is convinced that it is something life threatening. She tells about pain joints, pain, itching weird feeling in skin. She has been reading a lot of stuff online and is convinced that it is something serious, probably some sort of difficult to diagnose autoimmune syndrome. \n\nShe has also been in early retirement due to psychiatric diseases for years. The diagnoses have changed from schizophrenia to depression. \n\nI've known her intimately for over ten years. There was an earlier episode of anxiety and distress that she claimed to have a somatic origin, but despite multiple tests nothing was found, that episode faded somehow over time and was no issue at all two years later. \n\nShe has very insistently demanded treatment and tests, but nothing has been found. She hopes that the latest tests would finally tell what is wrong with her, but I'm not not sure. If they find nothing the anxiety continues and she thinks that they did not take her seriously and look for all the possible rare and impossible to detect diseases. When she says that her skin looks weird, it offers no comfort when doctors who look at it think that it is normal and nothing alarming. \n\nI think it is possible that she has some condition, but nevertheless her sense of reality is lost. She is afraid that what she has is cancer. But even if she had cancer, her expectation that a doctor should be called immediately in the middle of the night and have tests done immediately, and treatments started within hours if not minutes. \n\n. I don't want to encourage what I think are delusional beliefs, but also do not want to betray her trust and leave her isolated in her worry and fear. \n\nI used to work as a nurse in a  closed ward in psychiatric hospital, and the other nurses sometimes confronted someone having a paranoid episode by saying something like \"the tv isn't talking about you\". \n\nFew I've tried to reason with her that she could trust the doctors to know what they are doing, and she has had extensive amount of testing done. That she should trust that the doctors can evaluate whether some sign is alarming or not and she should relax and not read about all those terrifying diseases from internet. She gets angry and threatened. She tells me how violated and hurt she feels when doctors even consider the opportunity that some of the symptoms might be psychosomatic. Psychosomatic means to her that her suffering is her fault, her suffering is not taken seriously, and no one will try to help get better. \n\nI'm worried about her. I'm worried that her health care provider and her friends deem her delusional and just want to get rid of her. \n\nSo my question is: how to deal with very worried patients when tests show nothing wrong with them. Should I as a friend confront them with what I think is reality or just emphatically listen. How are doctors advised to deal with hypochondriac patients that are very distressed? She was earlier offered a team of psychiatric professionals, but the offer was just deeply distressing and offending to her. ", "post_id": "5689d1", "comment_id": "d8hmndz"}, {"question": "If you have bipolar, have you been tried on any mood stabilisers (eg Lithium)?", "comment": "42, female, 5'6\", 200 lbs., Caucasian.\n\nBipolar disorder, anxiety disorder with panic attacks.\n\nCitalopram 40 mg 1/per day. Buspirone 20 mg 3/day.\n\nSo I started seeing a new doctor a few months ago (he's 2 blocks away compared to 20 miles), and he changed my meds from escitalopram to elavil. It helped me get to sleep at night, but it didn't help my anxiety at all, which triggered panic attacks. 2 weeks ago, he put me back on citalopram (Celexa and lexapro have worked well for me, but I get sleep issues). When I went then, my blood pressure was about 140/110. It is normally around 120/70. We agreed that it was likely due to the anxiety and, while I am certainly feeling better, I am also certainly still anxious. Yesterday, I went back for follow up, and my blood pressure was around 140/100. I could tell when I walked in that my blood pressure was high. He has prescribed chlorthalidone 25 mg once per day.\n\nI am scared to take it. My blood pressure feels fine, and I'm afraid that it will lower it to dangerous levels. My anxiety is centered around my health, so I'm sure I'm being silly, but would really like some reassurance from a medical professional. \n\nThank you so much for your time and for everything that you do for free to help the people of this sub.", "post_id": "4y05p0", "comment_id": "d6k3tuk"}, {"question": "I would be very careful with the advice from u/KingNebby on this one. Rhabdomyolysis, which is what you had if your CK was in the 6000's, is serious. It's usually treated with IV fluids, and lots of them\u2014more than you could reasonably drink. The risk of not flooding your kidneys with fluid is permanent damage and potentially kidney failure.\n\nWhatever the cause, it's something that you very much want to avoid. Which means you need an explanation for why your exercise caused severe muscle injury, and until you have that you should be very cautious about causing the same problem again with exercise. It's not permanent, hopefully, but going without exercise temporarily versus going on dialysis should be a straightforward decision.", "comment": "Bit of backstory - I am a 23 year old female who is 92kg, and have been recently getting back into her fitness. After training consistently for about three weeks (4 times a week, 1 hour sessions working on cardio and weight training to lose weight and build strength) I had some blood tests done to check hormone levels etc. My doctor was very concerned when my CK levels came back at 6432 units, and my liver function was elevated to 150. The blood test was performed on the Monday, but two days prior I had trained and overdid it a bit. I couldn't straighten my arms completely for two days because my biceps were so sore and tight. Could this be the reason my CK levels were so elevated? And is 150 an alarming reading for liver function?\n\nI saw my doctor on the Thursday following my blood test and she was shocked by these levels and that I wasn't showing any symptoms of anything more serious (blood in pee, weakness) - by this point my arm soreness was completely gone. I tried explaining that I did a big workout the weekend before my blood test but she told me my CK levels still shouldn't have been that high, and advised me to stop all exercise immediately. I've done this and my CK levels/liver function have returned to normal, but now she doesn't want me doing any weight training because she thinks my muscles are very sensitive, and instead to stick to light walks and low-intensity cardio.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice on where I should go from here? Weight training is the only exercise I can really enjoy, commit to 100% and actually see decent results from, and I'm feeling really depressed over the idea of having to give it up.", "post_id": "9v6nm2", "comment_id": "e99umks"}, {"question": "see a marriage counselor with your wife. first things first.", "comment": "For the past few months I have been having an emotional affair with a colleague at work. We have known each other for some years but it wasn't until recently that we started texting, always flirty, and then things progressed rapidly from there. I am married as is she, and she has kids and is pregnant with another child. Both of us are unhappy in our marriages. I know all this sounds just terrible, but in each other we really found someone who not only is very different from our spouses, but we have both fallen in love. Seriously, if I wasn't married I would have swept her up, and from our conversations I believe that she would be equally happy if we could be together. Recently she said that she needed to cool things down because of her being pregnant, and that is a real gear shift, but I really don't want to- thoughts?", "post_id": "5m3soh", "comment_id": "dc0ospz"}, {"question": "Elevated TSH with normal T4 is called \u201csubclinical hypothyrodism\u201d but there is little to no evidence that treating it is effective or helpful. Elevated TSH while you\u2019re sick is a known phenomenon, \u201ceuthyroid sick syndrome\u201d and also shouldn\u2019t be treated.\n\nLevothyroxine can make you lose weight by raising metabolic rate.\n\nSore throat and headache are normal symptoms of any illness. It\u2019s nice not to feel worse, but those can certainly be COVID. So can weight loss: having little appetite while sick and losing weight is common.", "comment": "24M, Hispanic, 250lbs, 6'1\"\n\nMedical Diagnosis: Subclinical Hypothyroidism \n\nSymtomps: Early September; Chest pains, Heart Palpitations, Diarrhea/Constipation, Abdominal Pain, Anxiety, Depression, Fatigue, poor appetite, head pains\nSymtomps as of Oct; Fatigue, Sluggish, Joint pains, mild Diarrhea, slight stomach pains, back pains, head pains, ringing in ears\n\nTSH: 10/3 (TSH- 8.97, T4 Free- 1.2)\n\nTSH: 10/22 (TSH- 12.92, T4 Free- 1.2)\n\nI initially went to my primary for an anxiety attack, which I went to urgent care for. Thats where they said my TSH was high. I told my primary all my Symtomps, then he diagnosed me with IBS. Told me to take medication, which I never took, cause I thought it was weird to diagnose me with IBS, without running any test. Then it took a blood test, where my TSH was 8.97. And I was diagnosed with Subclinical Hypothyroidism. No medication, but was sent to do another test, where is came out to 12.92. Then my primary prescribed me with levothyroxine. Between both visits, I lost weight. 7lbs in about 2 weeks. And it feels like I keep losing weight. As well as people comment who see me almost on a daily basis, that it looks like I keep losing weight. I was also covid positive, had no Symtomps except a sore throat, and headache. For about 3 days.\nCan't shake my sore throat I had since I had covid. I did test negative twice. Doc said covid might be the cause for all this. \nNo other test have been performed or done except for blood work twice. I asked the doctor about cancer. He said I don't show any sign i could have cancer. So he ruled that out. But ofcourse one ask cause that always a big concern. \n\n\nIm wondering, if anyone has gone through the same as I have? Or similar things. Cause I'm worried, and I googled, and it seems that people lose weight. Not gain it. And most of the symtomps I have, aren't common. So, has anyone gone through similar things? Are these things that come with Hypothyroidism? And what should I except with taking this medication? Any other comments are welcome, and my dms are always open! I can explain more if anyone wishes. Thank you!", "post_id": "jjohfg", "comment_id": "gae6p5z"}, {"question": "I wrote a [conversation guide](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) with tips on having good conversation flow, asking questions that get good replies, etc. I think it will help you :)", "comment": "When I have conversations with people (mostly online ones) I have a constant fear of annoying them or being uninteresting/boring.  For example, I want to avoid lulls in the conversation as much as possible so I tend to be very long winded.  However, sometimes after a while they seem to be less interested in the conversation.  \n\nSometimes even when starting one, I am very hesitant to because I fear that the person will not want to talk to me even though we are pretty good friends.  This especially so, when it's with someone who tends to be very sparse in the content of their replies.  \n\nWhat are some ways I can continue on or start a conversation without being self conscious about being annoying or boring?  ", "post_id": "xd6jh", "comment_id": "c5ll85f"}, {"question": "A QTc without the EKG or even just the other numbers from the EKG can\u2019t be interpreted. One problem is that QTc is a calculation, but almost all machines use a calculation that\u2019s bad at risk prediction and too sensitive to changes in heart rate.", "comment": "20M, 150lbs, 5\u20192, iron deficiency, hypothyroidism, panic disorder, depression, hypochondria, 12.5mg metoprolol 2x daily, 25mgc levothyroxine, .5mg xanax 2x daily, 65mg iron supplement\n\nBasically i've noticed my QTc has been prolonged on my ekgs since I started metoprolol tartrate 2 months ago.  Before they'd be 400, 420, 445 ect and the most recent one was 480.  My doctor told me not to worry about it but I can't help it haha...... i'm not trying to have a heart attack.  I'm seeing my cardiologist in a couple weeks to discuss this, but any thoughts until then ?", "post_id": "in6so4", "comment_id": "g45pi08"}, {"question": "You're allowed to make demands. If he doesn't respond your options are to accept that and stay or leave. ", "comment": "I need some advice as I'm getting to the end of my tether.\n\nMe (23F) and my BF (24M) have been together for over two years.  For two years he has been unemployed, he had a job when we first got together but was soon after fired.  He looks for jobs in the day and then at night plays Elder Scrolls Online or Destiny until the early hours of the morning.\n\nHe has had this friend for a while who lives in another country [25/F], this is on Playstation so not in real life, she seems very flirty with him, calling him boo and bae and advising she misses him despite them never meeting.  It makes me feel uncomfortable and I have raised my worries with him.\n\nHe states he isn't doing anything wrong and she's just a friend.  However he isn't the best replier and can take forever to text back; we don't live together as he hasn't got a job and he lives at home as do I.  It feels like he is able to speak with not only her but all his friends on that game more than me.  I am also the only person he speaks to IRL and off that game. \n\nI don't know whether I am just over thinking as I do suffer from depression and anxiety but lately I have been on medication and talking to people to sort myself out.\n\nI just feel very insecure and that she is a threat, he appears to talk to her more than me.  He states he is in a group chat with others so I don't need to worry.  He is just a terrible replier and can take a while to text back.  He also seems obsessed with the game as he spends most of his time on it and occasionally lies to me that he isn't on it, so it is starting to seem like an addiction.\n\nI just don't know what to do anymore.  I really love him and hope everything would be better if he got a job and wasn't spending so much time on this game.  \n\nI just feel like he is going to fall for her the more they talk and that he will start to like her more than me.  He has reassured me and now he's gotten to the point where he states that I am just being silly as she lives in another country.  I just don't like the way she seems to speak to him, he said she isn't flirty but it comes across very flirty with me.  He won't stop talking to her as obviously if we start dictating each others lives then it will become unhealthy.\n\nI just want to know if it is all innocent, he states it is only banter as she always calls him names like cunt and bitch. I feel I am overthinking it but I want some clarity because I feel like I am going mad especially with my depression and anxiety.  He is also getting annoyed at this as he doesn't know how long he can be with me if I keep accusing him of something he's not doing as it is getting him down and making me seem like I don't respect his love.", "post_id": "683fbx", "comment_id": "dgvcbaz"}, {"question": "Wait what", "comment": "Emo legs is the current favorite pet name my boyfriend has given me. I'm pretty proud that I've managed to keep my scars mainly to one thigh. I'm super pale and they're pretty noticeable. \n\nMy boyfriend isn't really my boyfriend. We live in his mom's house. He sleeps in her room. She's a caregiver and is here maybe a week every three months. I'm not proud that I'm living off of her but until I get a job I'm stuck here. He hasn't worked since November. \n\nI've written about my bf before. We don't kiss, haven't had sex in half a year, and he doesn't even let me sit next to him. He tells me I'm gross and to get away from him. Maybe he's joking? I'm not gross. \n\nIt sucks living with someone who hates you so much. Yet it's better than fighting for my own life. I'm alone even tho someone is in the next room all the time. ", "post_id": "8fovj3", "comment_id": "dy5c2sh"}, {"question": "Sounds like depersonalization.  http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization", "comment": "I have been having out of body experiences when ever I give presentations or have to talk about a subject for an extended period of time with one or a few people. \n\nSo today I had to give a presentation in my English class and about 4-5 minutes into me talking, I became hyper-aware of my surroundings, my voice, and who was and wasn't listening. I became super-aware of how I was pronouncing my words and as I was talking, it felt like my mind split in two.\n\nI had 2 voices. I was thinking about how the presentation was going and how I looked while I was on autopilot talking about my subject. It was very strange and concerned me, as I almost felt like I was an observer to my body performing an action. \n\nI'm not sure if this is a normal anxiety-related thing, but its very scary to feel like I didn't have control over what words and actions my body made. \n", "post_id": "2linxe", "comment_id": "clvht7y"}, {"question": "**Detailed Submissions**\n\nPlease be as detailed as possible in your submissions. The more information we have the more we can help. It is mandatory to include: Age, Sex, Height, Weight, Race, Duration of complaint, Location on body, **Any diagnosed medical issues, Current medications and doses, any recreational drugs**, smoking status. Include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example).\n\nEmphasis added. We ask this because this information is actually necessary to give you useful answers. All SSRIs are not the same.", "comment": "29M. 5'11\", 185lbs.\n\nIs there an interaction with Bacopa and SSRIs? I told my doctor I take Bacopa but he didn't seem to think there'd be any issues.\n\nMy understanding is that Bacopa can affect Serotonin levels. I just don't know in what way, or how much. There isn't much info out there on Bacopa interactions.\n\nI just don't want to inadvertently give myself serotonin syndrome.\n\nEdit - requested info:\n\nDiagnosed Medical Issues: \n\nPanic Disorder? I don't know, I haven't actually seen the diagnosis.\nAndrogenetic Alopecia\n\nMedications+Supplements: Finasteride 1mg, Bacopa Monnieri 320mg, L theanine 200-400mg, Zoloft ?mg (haven't picked up the prescription yet, it was sent electronically - most likely 50mg)\n\nDrugs: a few drinks during golf/social events sometimes on weekends. I'm not in college anymore, so I usually just get a buzz going. 3-7 drinks depending on length.\n\nNonsmoker.", "post_id": "cmtexb", "comment_id": "ew4ntzg"}, {"question": "It will be easier to maintain self control if you stop drinking entirely.  ", "comment": "Hello.\nMost of my life has been dictated by my BPD and I've been fighting like crazy the past few years to get my life back. Piece by piece it's coming together, no more panic attacks... What's proving to be my biggest hurdle is my impulsive behavior. I feel powerless. God forbid I try to have a drink. All it takes is a few drinks and I'm having sex with some random person. I have been so lucky that I haven't gotten an STD... I have so far gone an entire month without getting drunk or having sex with a rando or cutting or throwing a tantrum, and i'm starting to feel myself slipping. I want to respect myself and love myself for the first time in my life. What has helped you ?", "post_id": "35wt4u", "comment_id": "cr8nckw"}, {"question": "Wonderful update. Wishing you the best. Congratulations.", "comment": "One simple (okay, it wasn't so simple. It took years to make the change) and things are looking up. I found a good apartment in a senior complex (it will take a couple months to get a unit, but I need the time for cleaning up affairs). Finally got my credit into house buying territory. Still doing paperwork for the job, but I can't start until I move anyway. Bought a couple suits. Overall, things are going positive. I am happier now than I have been in years. Best of all, I am doing it myself. I am getting control of my life without therapy or a helping hand. It can be done, although I know it ain't easy. Don't give up. You just have to look inside you. Decide what is important to you and dump the baggage (don't be a litter bug.) I still have a long road ahead. I need to address those medical issues before bringing someone else into the picture, but my confidence is at an all-time high. I hope the best for you all. You've been there when I needed a kind word. Thank you.", "post_id": "crtvni", "comment_id": "ex9wi3n"}, {"question": "There is help out there, and you can beat this. It sounds like everything it shit, but it can be better. Call 911. That should help end the abuse and help jumpstart you to a healthy life. Please call\n ", "comment": "I\u2019m tired of fighting. I\u2019m in so much pain, I don\u2019t want to try anymore. Nobody would even miss me, I don\u2019t have anyone. I\u2019m being sexually abused, and I\u2019m tired of facing that too. I\u2019m also feel like I\u2019m losing it. I might be going crazy. I decided I\u2019m not afraid of death anymore", "post_id": "7a1rjl", "comment_id": "dp6h6wu"}, {"question": "No relationship is perfect; sounds like things are going well and he's a good guy. The things you're concerned about will likely resolve with age and maturity.  Though some people are never comfortable with public displays of affection. Encourage him to talk about feelings and hopefully he'll get the hang of it.", "comment": "I have a new boyfriend who I have strong feelings for since my last (and first) heartbreak. We were first close friends who had crushes on each other and now we are finally dating. He's such a nice guy, we have so much fun together, we are chill, we always joke, tmi but we have great intimacy! yet, he doesn't do the things that I feel like come naturally in a relationship. He doesn't ever talk about his feelings for me (unless I initiate), never holds my hand or kisses me in public(unless I initiate), and he'll go get stoned with his buddy before he sees me sometimes. I sometimes feel like I'm not that important to him or maybe he is just not into me like I am into him. Even though this sounds conceited, I am also way more attractive than him. I don't know what to do. Should I just break things off? Or should I talk to him? It seems like I can't really change how he is but I want this to work. ", "post_id": "5wt11m", "comment_id": "decsp1k"}, {"question": "We can't assess the diagnosis of Lyme disease without seeing the tests. At least in the USA, the standard treatment is at least two weeks of oral antibiotics, but there's no reason IV couldn't be used. Even if you had Lyme, it should now be gone.\n\nMS requires more for diagnosis, but could be a cause of RAPD. So could other things. Depression doesn't cause focal neurological findings, but could conceivably cause twitching.\n\nIf your symptoms were better on antidepressants and returned when you stopped, then the timing is suggestive. But you haven't actually said anything about depression or symptoms, so it's hard to have any opinion on that.", "comment": "23M\n\n60kg, 185cm\n\nI don't smoke\n\nI don't take any medications at the moment\n\n \n\nI'm from Slovenia, known for a high risk for lyme infections, had many ticks in my life. A year and a half ago I started having headaches, muscle twitching (im talking 24/7 multiple times a minute to this day), feelings of weakness on the right side of my body, fatigue, brain fog, muscle pain all over...\n\nMy neuro suspected MS because of my clinical exam not being good (also detected RAPD). MRI clear, evoked potential tests good, spinal tap good. Only thing that showed was positive blood tests for lyme (twice), which I know can be very inaccurate. I had 2 weeks of IV antibiotics just incase (this was almost a year and a half ago, didn't seem to help much). Funny thing is that for the last meeting with my neuro my clinical was all good, except the RAPD. Most of the symptoms did go away after a while, only the twitching persisted to this day 24/7 every minute of the day.\n\nTold anxiety and depression could have been the cause of it, started taking antidepressants for almost a year, but i quit 2 months ago. Was feeling fine until now that my symptoms came back again. Don't really know if I should go back to the doctor or not, I feel like they won't take it serously anymore.\n\nJust want to hear some opinions from doctors on this subreddit, maybe some anwsers on lyme, is there such a thing as late stage lyme? Could all of this be as a cause of depression/anxiety, something else?\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "d37vbi", "comment_id": "f0011gb"}, {"question": "couples counseling will help; always do this before a break up [abuse aside]", "comment": "After a fight and making up with your SO, how do you differentiate between temporary pushed away (feeling burnt out and almost soul less like feelings) to permanent unsalvageable broken feelings (I.e. needing to break things off with your SO).\n\nIs it a good idea to ask for space? For context , I feel emotionally unstable with regards to my relationship. Feeling burnt out from fighting so much and constantly not living up to my SO's expectations. What to do?\n\nAlso, another question is how do you differentiate general depression from relationship issues?", "post_id": "5vbi4d", "comment_id": "de0qesx"}, {"question": "Make plans. Get out of the house and away from him.", "comment": "Last night after both having worked Monday to Friday, my boyfriend asked me to accompany him to a store nearby (to quickly pick up one item). I was in my pyjamas and was comfortable, so told him I didn't feel like going. He had just been at a bar drinking with some friends and told me he would not speak to me until Monday if I didn't go with him. I found this suggestion outlandish and unusual, so of course I was not going to go anywhere with him as I wasn't going to go along with petty, drunken threats. I didn't go with him and he hasn't spoken to me since. \n\nNow, Saturday morning is here, I tried to talk to him as we usually go to a favourite lunch spot on Saturdays. He refused to speak to me, left the room, and slammed our bedroom door. \n\nThis is particularly childish behaviour and I feel pretty poorly about it. This story is so embarrassing that I don't want to reveal it to anybody I know. Therefore, I'm on reddit to see if anybody could provide some guidance. \n\nContext: We are Canadian, have masters degrees, just starting our careers, live together in a decent apartment and are generally a happy couple who don't have too much drama. Occasionally we fight but normally we can end it pretty quickly with a stupid pussy joke or by poking fun of each other till the other one caves. \n\nI'm confused as to why he would be so dramatic and hold a grudge against me, a partner of 6 years who has always supported him. I just cannot allow him to make petty drunken threats toward me, so I didn't go along with his bullshit. By the way, this kind of behaviour is way below his pay grade. Likewise, I am completely disinterested in having drama in my life, so this is an uncomfortable position for me to be in. Any kind of support would be appreciated.\n\n", "post_id": "6f1ni8", "comment_id": "dieozw9"}, {"question": "Probably because depression isn't caused by weed, but masked by it", "comment": "When is this going to be over?  I thought quitting weed would solve my depression snd help with all of this. Im tight on time and  couldn't type a lot. Thanks everyone", "post_id": "4oogbq", "comment_id": "d4ea5iu"}, {"question": "I advise my patients with Vitamin D Deficiency to start with the 50,000u weekly supplement (cholecalciferol or ergocalciferol) for about 8 weeks, and then switch to daily vitamin D3 2,000u (or 1,000u if you are exposed to a lot of sunshine). Take with food that contains fat (for absorption). No side effects, and safe with medications/supplements.", "comment": "Hi there, I am 55 years old female (64 Kgs). A week ago, my GP advised me to have my blood work done. According to my blood report, I have a deficiency of Vitamin D. My Vitamin D level is 17 ng/mL and the optimal for a healthy person is above 30 ng/mL. The pharmacies where I live have both daily and weekly vitamin d3 supplements. Daily vitamin D3 supplements have 1000 IU, 2000 IU and 5000 IU. The weekly vitamin d3 supplement has 50,000 IU. I am very confused in choosing whether I should go for daily or weekly supplement. Which one would be more effective? Please help me out.", "post_id": "amhjo2", "comment_id": "efmimww"}, {"question": "Wow. I\u2019ve been following along and was so convinced you were going to have to leave him before he\u2019d make a change (if that was even enough to do the trick). \n\nSo glad that the TV was his rock bottom rather than your marriage. \n\nBest to you both.", "comment": "\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/78ou6o/my_husband_charged_almost_200_to_my_credit_card/?st=J9MP4855&sh=e62c753bhttps://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/78ou6o/my_husband_charged_almost_200_to_my_credit_card/?st=J9MP4855&sh=e62c753b\n\nThis is the last time I\u2019ll do this I just have some positive news and I thought that would be nice to share. Just venting people you don\u2019t have to get your panties all twisted over this. I also still haven\u2019t  told anybody so that\u2019s why I\u2019m here. Friday night I ended up staying at a friends house because I was so pissed at my husband. After I saw what he did to the tv I was very upset and I didn\u2019t want to be around him. Last night he called me and asked me to come home. (Very late at like 2am) I came home only because the late call made me worried. I\u2019m glad I did tho. He sold his Xbox for $350 and bought a new tv. He agreed to therapy and basically broke down and told me what has been going on in his head and why he was so angry. He said he is making a life style change and instead of playing fifa he is going to join an actual football team again. He then handed me the $200 for my credit card. He also told me that his boss is opening up another restaurant and asked him to be his main cook. There is a $10 an hour pay raise which is going to help us out of this shitty financial place.Feeling hopeful. I\u2019m happy I never threw the work divorce at him.", "post_id": "7ax6gf", "comment_id": "dpdr4w5"}, {"question": "Who says youre allergic to milk? What tests were done?", "comment": "A blood test states I am allergic to milk. But I have never had a reaction to drinking milk or cheese or anything that has milk as an ingredient. What gives? Will continuing to drink milk or things with milk in them eventually cause some harm? Thank you. ", "post_id": "71x9xc", "comment_id": "dne657d"}, {"question": "Hi!  Congratulations on making it through 36 hours!!!  WOO HOO!! Tips on how to keep your resolve!\n\n1. Be gentle with yourself\n2. Try to keep yourself busy, the fidget toys are great\n3. Be aware of your feelings when you think about picking\n4. And just curious, have you thought about seeing a mental health professional?", "comment": "I've gone 36 hours without any skin picking. I decided two nights ago that it was getting out of hand and impacting my physical health too much. And this has been extremely hard. I can't believe how often I've had to actively stop myself. I didn't think it was something I did unconsciously but damn... I feel like a drug addict.\n\nI also ordered about $30 worth of fidget toys off of Amazon. Partially because I thought maybe I would be more committed if I had invested actual money into this. But also because I just wasn't sure what would help (if anything), so best to have a variety to try...\n\nAny tips on how to keep my resolve are appreciated.", "post_id": "boz7nt", "comment_id": "enmokh3"}, {"question": "Regression is a commonly used term, and I see it most often in conceptualizations of people with Borderline, though anyone can regress.\n\nRegression is basically using a behavior that was appropriate or helpful during an earlier . Such as an adult tantrum .\n\nTo my knowledge,  regression is not a theory,  so there is nothing to be debunked.  It is more psychoanalytic,  but others see the behavior.  Freud listed it as a defense mechanism .", "comment": "I\u2019m talking about where someone retreats to a younger age than they are, like trauma survivors might do.", "post_id": "f4e0we", "comment_id": "fhpw1pg"}, {"question": "What medication are you on? What do your docs think is happening?", "comment": "17/female/avg height and weight\n\nHi, this is my first time posting here so if I do something wrong, apologies in advance.\nI am psychotic and on an antidepressant and an antipsychotic. For the past four or so years, I have been freezing up. I stop moving, and it is as if I am unable to mentally get myself to move. Physically, it seems I am fine- I am not paralyzed. When this happens, I get confused and and am disoriented after, and during, it is very hard for me to respond to external stimuli. This only lasts from seconds to minutes\n\nWhat could this be? Thank you so much and if anything is confusing, I will clarify (I'm not the best with my words)", "post_id": "6sp7u3", "comment_id": "dlekmru"}, {"question": "I think being entirely anti-cure is a bit like being anti-science.  There are well-controlled and reputable studies investigating the neurochemistry of autistic individuals the effects of medications/vitamins/minerals on their less pleasant symptoms.\n\nI say go for it.  If I had cancer, I wouldn't feel like less of a person if someone wanted to cure cancer, especially if they were focused on the whole dying part of cancer and not saying \"Hey you! Stupid guy with cancer!  We wanna make sure you aren't a stupid idiot with cancer anymore, so we are gonna try to cure cancer, stupid.\"\n\nThere are non-scientist quacks out there spreading ideas about autism cures, but non-scientists claiming to cure any disease would piss me off.  \n\nAnyway, it's not the \"cure\" language that upsets me, it's the pseudoscience.  I welcome any scientist who endeavors to expand my options for choosing how I want to be through evidence-based means.", "comment": "Does anyone else get really upset when they read about cures for autism? It seems to be a big thing in the news recently. It makes me feel like I'm pretty worthless, because how can you feel valued if scientists are trying to get rid of your personality type?\n\nWhen I was growing up, it was all about accepting different kinds of people (\"The world needs everyone's unique skills\"), but now it turns out that we're just a nuisance. It always ruins my day when I read this stuff. I'm trying to articulate it in a way that still makes me feel good about myself (I think aspies are cool), like just saying that the future will be very boring without all of the innovative thinkers. \n\nI dunno. Does anyone else have reflections on this?", "post_id": "2lkx46", "comment_id": "clvxqb3"}, {"question": "Whay medication are you on?", "comment": "I've been experiencing it for 2+ years, it causes severe short-term memory loss, irritability and inability to focus, discomfort that sometimes becomes headaches.\n\nPutting anything on my head makes it much worse. Headphones in particular, even my glasses do it to a smaller extent, recently got a Vive VR headset which does it also.\n\nToday I had the Vive resting on my head while I quickly fixed something that ended up taking ~10 minutes and I started seeing streaks of light from the discomfort and brain fog built up rapidly. It's quite heavy.\n\nThe other time I experienced light streaks is when I had poorly fitted glasses pressing into my left temple.\n\nSexual release makes it exponentially worse, instantly. Putting an ice pack on my temples and forehead sometimes helps quite a lot, temporarily but possibly also in the long run. I have discomfort while sleeping because of it, makes me groan in my sleep.\n\nMy diet is incredibly healthy and has been for a long period of time, I cook my meals and understand nutrition, no fast food. I exercise a lot especially recently, I find it helps a little. I eat avocado, nuts, dark chocolate and replace milk with almond milk and don't eat dairy and no fish for the past 3 weeks, the almond milk seems to help a tiny bit but nothing else of note. I have a really good computer chair, I spend time not at the computer, I get off the computer a couple hours before sleep, I take regular breaks, I drink heaps of water.\n\nI spent ~3 years enduring overwhelming financial stress with my health being bad and in debt as a result of no longer being able to work at the time. Every day I was going over my weekly budget and struggling to find out how I can even make the next payment and buy food etc. - It drowned me. This brain fog started maybe 6 months before the time that ended.\n\nAge: 29, Sex: M, Height: 198cm, Weight: 110kg (and decreasing quickly with planned intent), Race: NZ European, Duration of Complaint 2+ years, Location: NZ, Existing relevant medical issues: Undiagnosable currently stated as Psychosis NOS (Not Otherwise Specified) for years now - it was very severe however I've managed to overcome it almost altogether the past decade.\n\nDoctor has ruled out tumour, aneurysm, posture/pc use, exercise and diet/nutrition, water intake, sleep as possible causes. No medication has made any difference.", "post_id": "5fhznb", "comment_id": "dal0nkv"}, {"question": "A ton of therapists, myself included do help people learn social skills.  Like with any therapy, some therapists are incredible and if you put the work in it will be life changing, others are terrible and you need to figure that out within a few sessions and move on to another.  \n\n\nThere's a high need for this.  I think more therapists need to advertise and run groups that aren't labeled \"therapy groups\" because the social stigma of therapy turns people away.  \n\n\nInstead, guys especially, turn to ridiculous PUA type stuff when it comes to social anxiety around dating.  With that stuff along with the Red Pill BS there's just enough good information (exposure, eliminating fear of failure, taking care of yourself physically) that makes it looks appealing and legitimate that people also swallow and internalize all the toxic masculinity and misogyny.  \n\n\nThere's plenty of healthy ways and incredibly effective ways to learn to be really good and comfortable socially without all the other negative stuff that comes with the cult like training programs/ideologies out there.", "comment": "I've recently started a strength training program in the gym and I'm taking it seriously. I'm really enjoying the process of carving out a new body and mindset for myself through practice and hard work.   \nIt occurred to me that there is this massive absence of a proper training program for social ability. Which is crazy because being able to know yourself and talk effectively has to be the most fundamental skill if you think about it. If you can socialise well, you can do anything \\- get a job easily, obtain incredible relationships \\- both in work, business and in dating. The list would go on and on.   \nI was also reading about Ancient Romans and Greeks and it turns out they had it all figured out. They would invest in orators from an early age, putting them through what were essentially training programs to master the art of communication and speech while minimising anxiety.   \nPractice is obviously whats crucial, but there's more to it than that. Its got to be focused. If I were to just randomly go out and try talking to people, without an assistant or an aid or a specific goal or target, I'd be so much more likely to succumb to my internal negative thoughts. While I would inevitably make progress if I kept doing it, a targeted approach has to be superior.   \nEverything that offers to help build social skills online just seems like bs trying to sell you words, the advice on this forum is better but its still not practice. Its not doing.   \nThe Reddit fitness thread has workouts and programs that people can follow and adhere to. I'm daydreaming of producing a social training program for this thread. Human behaviour is so interesting \\- and it can be learned. It'd be so cool to have access to a system. Something that I can follow and know its targeted to overcome certain social limitations I have.   \nAm I crazy or does anyone else think this would be cool?", "post_id": "8piy4t", "comment_id": "e0bs9nm"}, {"question": "You are  not using the word rape correctly. He lied to you, but the sex was consensual.   Breaking up with someone doesn't mean we dislike them 100%. It means that on balance, the relationship is no longer good for us. Divorced people often still have some degree of positive feelings for each other. But it might be 30% positive instead of 98%.", "comment": "I was with my boyfriend for a little over a year. In november I decided to stop taking birth control with my partners permission. We agreed to use condoms in the meantime. One day comes along and he asks if we can have sex. I say \"yes, please use a condom since we're no longer protected\". He agrees. As i'm facing towards the wall waiting for him to begin, he enters me but after about a minute I realize that he has entered me raw. without a condom. I quickly backed off of him and asked if he was wearing a condom. He said no and started making up excuses like \"i can't feel you \" and \"i just HATE condoms\". I started explaining to him why it was important and then he got mad at me because I kept on going \"on and on\" about it. I broke up with him in January. there were other things that drove me to break up with him. In fact, I broke up with him a total of three times during the course of our relationship. each time shorter than the last. I saw red flags in him but I ignored it because he showed me love and we had a deep intimate connection, I thought that our intimate connection was the definiton of love. But he took advantage of my weaknesses and felt entitled to my body. Even though I know i did the right thing by leaving him... I still feel guilty for breaking someones heart who depended on me so much and trusted me so much.", "post_id": "5ori6i", "comment_id": "dcli2ya"}, {"question": "you have to address the clinginess, which is why you decided to lie. you two need to have a long talk about your rel.", "comment": "I need advice. Today I lied to my girlfriend and told her that I was getting off of work two hours later than when I actually was so she wouldn't ask me to do something with her. I justified this because normally if I don't want to hang out with her she gets visibly upset if I have something else to do or if I want some alone time. It turns out that she was waiting for me to get off of work and when she saw my car not in the parking lot she bombarded me with calls.\n\nShe called me a couple of minutes ago about how upset she is at me and how she's questioning everything in our relationship and stuff. I feel like absolute shit and I apologized and told her what I just wrote up top, but she says that she has to think and she will talk to me later.\n\nI'm very upset right now because I made a stupid mistake but I'm also afraid that she might dump me. She is a little on the clingy side, if we don't spend every day together she gets very sad and upset. I'm personally a little introverted and I've explained this but it never really helps. I just need advice on how to handle this.", "post_id": "5ptnbx", "comment_id": "dctqpkx"}, {"question": "That depends I suppose by how you define \"low functioning\"", "comment": "I, myself is \u2019high functioning\u2019 but I have read in forums and blogs that some people have trouble sympathy with the \u2019low functioning\u2019 people because they feel that having mental illness is not an excuse unless you are dying you have no excuse to be low functional... to me this mind sets a little strange... ", "post_id": "20yyf0", "comment_id": "cg86c04"}, {"question": "find a couple's therapist you really like, sometimes you have to shop around, like anything else.", "comment": "This is going to be semi-long so bear with me as I try go give as much information as I can without creating a novel. My fiancee and I have been together for 8 years. He proposed in May of this year. Within the last 3 months things started getting strange. He has been putting his ALL into work; as he's up for a huge promotion. This often means that I am left on the back burner. Bear in mind that he works in retail....as a supervisor; so it's nothing that requires extreme coding for hours on end or constant traveling. He works about 43 hours a week. \n\nI've expressed to him twice that I am not totally happy with the way things are going because 1. he's usually at work from 12-9 5 days a week 2. we don't really communicate when he is at work.\n\nSo basically when he does get home at 9:30 we only have a limited amount of time together before it's bedtime. I try to pitch things for us to do (i.e. going on little dates to the movies, spending a day at the park, etc etc) but he always has the same excuses \"I'm tired\" or \"I'm broke\". I make a lot more than he does and have NO PROBLEM paying for outings. \n\nRecently he got a job proposition in LA (we're in SF now). He told me about it and I expressed that I had some concerns surrounding the costs associated with moving, finding a location that is central to everything (since I don't have a car), and most importantly I expressed concerns with us. I didn't like the idea of going to a new city away from everything that is familiar (leaving friends and family) only to face the same sort of treatment....being alone, him working all the time, etc. He doesn't put effort into even remotely trying to show he cares. I get that funds are tight, but text messages are virtually free. Flowers are what? Less than $10? A handwritten note is free. \n\nThis has obviously caused a huge strain on our relationship. We argue just about every evening. The guy I initially fell in love with and this new guy are like night and day. Even in October I was still getting sweet loving acts from him....but recently it's become WW3 in our apartment. It has gotten so bad that he has said that he doesn't even want me to go with him to LA anymore because he doesn't want the arguments to continue. He's also said he doesn't think he wants to marry me anymore. \n\nWe've done a couple's therapy session but that didn't really help all that much. The therapist wants us back in 2 weeks. The promotion/move is slated to happen in very early February. Time is limited. He's at the point now in which he doesn't want to talk about therapy, fixing our dispute, etc. I am making more of an effort to take a step back and just be civil/stick to his wishes...but at the same time I do wish he would at least try to make an effort to fix things too. He didn't even want to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with me. His 'excuse' has been 'I'm tired, I don't want to go to your family's house and mine' it's really weird right?\n\nThis is suppose to be the happiest time in our lives. I have even told him that I have accepted LA and that I am willing to move...I've said it numerous times. Yesterday I asked him if he still loved me, multiple times. He said yes he does....but he's doing a terrible job of expressing it. \n\nAm I a fool for trying to make this work? \n\ntl;dr my fiancee is being super distant which is causing us to fight nonstop. How can I repair what we had? Or should I just throw in the towel? \n\n", "post_id": "5kts74", "comment_id": "dbqlbb1"}, {"question": "Your primary care doctor is allowed to refill these medications, but its up to him or her whether to do so. Documentation that these are supposed to be prescribed helps, but the pharmacy records can provide that.\n\nCall your PCP and ask tomorrow as well as calling your psychiatrist's clinic again. See if there is a message saying who is providing backup coverage.", "comment": "Age: 39\n\nSex: m\n\nHeight: 6'\n\nWeight: 220\n\nRace: White\n\nDuration of complaint: na\n\nLocation: brain\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues: psych\n\nCurrent medications: paliperidone(oral),  mirtazapine, valium, prazosin, gabapentin, seroquel  \n\n\n Don't know what to do. I had an appointment last week at the clinic canceled because the person I see was sick for refills. Have been trying to get in touch with them, no results. Pharmacy has faxed requests for refill, unanswered.\n\nI will be out of my paliperidone(12mg/day), gabapentin(1200/day), and mirtazapine(30mg/day) tomorrow evening. I still had a prescription for valium(30mg/day), prazosin(3mg/day) and seroquel left.\n\nIs there anything I can do if I don't get in touch with the clinic? Will my primary doctor be able to fill these? Should I ration the pills I have to last longer? Really at a loss especially with things closing down. I'm very afraid to stop the medicine that I do not have abruptly. Should I go to the hospital if I can't contact them?", "post_id": "fjvy1t", "comment_id": "fkpkz9v"}, {"question": "Very little influences your height besides genetics and getting adequate nutrition to not stunt your growth (extremely rare in first world countries today). Many people have finished growing by 18, but some haven't. You'll know you've reached your maximum height when you stop growing. You could get an evaluation to see if your growth plates have fused, but there's nothing you can do about it anyway so I wouldn't recommend it.", "comment": "I searched the internet for a bit and found a lot of stupid answers, so i thought i might give it a shot here.\n\nI'm 18 y/o and im somewhere around 5'10 - 5'11 (177-180cm), and my dad is 6'5 (196cm) and my mum 5'5  (165cm). \n\nI was just wondering when will I reach my maximum height? Have i reached it by now? I heard that when you get into ur's 18s, you basically stop growing (talking about everything :D).\n\nMy dad's dad is almost same height as my dad (6' i'd say) and his mum maybe 5'7 - 5.8' (170+ 5 -cm).\n\nHe said that he (my dad) reached his height in 3rd grade (when he had 18 - 19 yrs old), and he told me that's because of sport that he played. So i was thinking... Can sport influence my height? \n\nCan i somehow see my \"maximum\"?", "post_id": "924zgn", "comment_id": "e3366zm"}, {"question": "I had the opposite I starve myself. But I have found with bpd before you learn to control your urges you must control your environment. So learn to use what you know about yourself to mskr changes. You know you have cravings to eat and eat when bored or emotional. So try to stay busy, plan out meals, have healthy snacks that you can eat a ton of (popcorn is low calorie) or make dinner that is high volume and low calorie (veggies or rice). Drink lots of water. Whenever you feel hungry drink water first. \n\nSecond, use your body to your advantage. You want to work smart not hard. Look into how your body processes different foods and stays full. Sugar and carbs go fast. Fiber and protein stays long. Potatoes, eggs, chicken, mushrooms all stay with you as does oatmeal making you less hungry. If you are always hungry eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of big meals.\n\nPractice your coping skills. When you feel hungry it's likely your body telling you it needs to be soothed. If you soothe it in other ways besides food, it will stop sending the hunger signal. Basic needs first water and comfort. Take space for yourself, bring music along or a book. Bring a journal and write down your worries or anxieties or good times. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when feeling sad or hungry. Make sure to actually eat, as discussed above, you should learn to eat on a schedule instead of trusting in your hunger pangs.\n\nLastly, look into a new bc? Some bc and medications can increase your appetite or cause weight gain despite your best efforts. Talk to your doctor about it \n\nHope that helps", "comment": "i've always preferred eating alone and i've found myself eating large amounts at once, especially for the past 5 months. i went on a birth control and gained 35 pounds, and now that i live with my mother again she has commented on the amount of food i eat, and passively makes comments every once in awhile to try and \"send a message\". recently, when she isn't home i find it really difficult to control myself from eating. i tried fasting for a few days by setting an alarm on my phone for 24 hours each time i had a small meal. an hour ago i ate wayyy too much and now i'm dealing with the aftermath - depression, shame, uncomfortably full where i don't want to look at my body at all. \n\nhow do I cope with these urges? i hate my body but i especially hate how my mother treats me. Thanks for reading", "post_id": "d9up6y", "comment_id": "f1llteb"}, {"question": "Allan Carr's method sounds like it could work well here. Essentially your brain focuses on short term gains. You need to help it look at the whole picture. His conclusion: if you look at everything alcohol gives and takes, no one should do it. It's always a net negative, even for \"regular\" drinkers. \n\nPlus. Include other people in your process, break it down into a real decision to not drink. Make that decision a process to not drink just right now. Just right now. Tomorrow is whatever, but right now you can choose. \n\nRemember, cravings usually only last a few hours at a time. ", "comment": "Help. After about 15 years of sobriety (I became addicted in my twenties), I tried drinking again - curiosity which turned into obsessive thinking which resulted in a drink (I thought that I may have been able to drink \"normally\" as I originally drank due to confidence issues which I no longer felt was an issue). Now I cant stop thinking about drinking. I have a bout of drinking which lasts for about 3 days, I then sort myself out for about a week (but in the meantime obsessively think about drinking and whether I want it or not), then I succumb again. I don't want to drink and when I do I don't enjoy it, its like I do it to get rid of the obsessive thoughts in my head. Does anyone have any advice on how I can release myself from this obsession/addiction which has resurfaced?", "post_id": "7zxdon", "comment_id": "duremk6"}, {"question": "I'm a therapist. What you're experiencing is unfortunately normal... I always tell my patients it will often feel worse before it starts to get better. It's like lancing a wound-- very painful, but you need to do it to get the infection out.\n\nThat being said, talk to your therapist about your concern. Your therapist should be able to help you through this.\n\nGood luck. I know this isn't easy. It does get better.", "comment": "After dealing with panic attacks, extreme anxiety, inability to do classroom speeches or demonstrations, depression because of all this, and extreme trouble coping with school/interpersonal relationships related to school I decided for the first time to get counseling.\n\nI went in not expecting to even talk about my rape, but somehow it just came up during the background questions. And I exploded. I started crying and I've been on the verge of crying ever since.\n\nIs this normal? I do believe that I am a naturally anxious person, have been my whole life, but after my rape my anxiety became debilitating. I almost dropped out of school because I couldn't give a speech- I would honestly rather die then do something like this. My panic attacks are so bad I cannot speak. \n\nAnyways I am rambling and pretty lost right now. I know that what happened to me is a giant part of my anxiety, but is there any way therapy can avoid this topic and still help me? I am such a mess now and I'm in a very difficult program at school. I can't deal with this. But not dealing with it isn't an option either.\n\nDoes it get better? What do I do? My therapist's plans for me seem so simple; meditation and CBT. She also mentioned that I seemed okay and that I'm not the kind of person who would be in therapy forever/long time. Somehow I feel like I didn't get across how fucked up I feel. I guess **I** didn't even realize it. \n\nI am so lost. It's been 5 years and I feel like I've made no progress. I feel so alone. I'm scared she will dismiss me before I'm truly rehabilitated. I'm scared my issues are too big to tackle. Is it normal to feel so messed up? It was only 1hr long intro session of therapy and I'm just completely dismantled.\n\nThanks for listening, I'm not really even sure what I'm asking. Maybe just some experiences with therapy and whether or not it gets worse before it gets better? Continue? I do really like my therapist if that means anything.", "post_id": "2g1mdm", "comment_id": "ckf1lpr"}, {"question": "I agree. All of this is a compulsion. First, if you know this is your OCD and you are triggered by writings about pedophilia, dont read literature about pedophiles unless you are specifically doing it as an exposure under the guidance of a therapist. If you are self guided right now with a book, go back to the section about challenging thought distortions or counter statements. \n\nUntil then, do something more productive with your time and energy. If the police are coming they are coming. No amount of reddit comments will stop them, make them come, or make the anxiety go away permanently. ", "comment": "I'm sorry about making another post regarding this subject but I'm really terrrified. I was reading an article about celebrities who are paedos. All of the sudden a picture of a child popped up and now im really scared. I didn't know it would be there and I didn't download it or anything like that. It just took me for shock and now I feel so bad and terrified I could go to jail.\n\nI wasn't looking for porn nor was I on a porn site.\n\nWithout getting into details all of the private parts were blacked out.", "post_id": "54bzlx", "comment_id": "d8107rx"}, {"question": "I smoked for 6 or 7 years, pretty heavily (multiple times a day) for about the last 2 years of my using. It took me about 60 days for the \"fog\" to lift and then I was on the emotional roller coaster for a while. I don't remember much about PMS but I did have heavier periods for 4-6 months - I think my body was really clearing itself out. I was not on birth control at the time. After 6 months things evened out for me. Hope that helps!", "comment": "Hi, everyone. I searched the forum for posts related to this theme, as there's little to none information available online, and came up short. I'm hoping more women who have been successful in quitting will come forward and offer more information and their personal experiences, but so far this is based on my own observations alone and what data I could scrape together from a few articles and studies (linked at the end of the post).\n\nSo I quit pot. It's only been about 15 days and my mental, physical and emotional symptoms pretty much match what everyone else describes while remaining light, compared to more severe cases I've read here. I have been a daily smoker for about 6 years, after 3 of smoking at least 3 times a week. **I've never gone without weed for more than 3 days in nearly a decade** (had to abstain during recovery of getting my wisdom teeth out, but that was only for 3 days each time)**, so this is my first time sober in that *long* time.**\n\nAs was the case for most, if not all leavers, I lit up as a cope and as a reward for enduring difficult situations, and being high 24/7 meant not thinking and dealing with my feelings, as they were constantly numbed and fogged up. Any pain, physical or emotional, any difficult thoughts and conflicts were dealt with by toking up, forgetting and avoiding. Logically, **quitting has forced me to face a lot of problems and my feelings arose increasingly clear, roaring and demanding attention.** What a [short], strange trip it\u2019s been.\n\n(Background: 24F. Not on birth control. Haven't really had cramps except for during a couple of years after first getting my period at 11, and can only recall dealing with actually impossible-not-to-notice PMS while in high school.)\n\nNow onto the point of the post: for the last three days I've been riding a **HARDCORE emotional rollercoaster**. Let\u2019s say those feelings I\u2019d been suppressing were about 100 times stronger than anything I felt while constantly stoned; then what I am experiencing now feels like *that* times a thousand -- and not always warranted by real circumstances/events. I started crying over the littlest things, got angry over basically nothing, felt irritated by absolutely random stuff, my libido increased like crazy and on Sunday I wept desperately as I hadn't for over a year (this was actually pretty great as the hormones and toxins released got me calm and ironclad in my resolve to quit). **I was dumbfounded, could not understand what was happening until I connected the dots and identified that I am in the premenstrual phase** (I got my phone stolen last month and haven't been following my cycle without the Kindara app which tracks your menstrual phase incredibly faithfully based on the daily input of a lot of data). I've also 'gained' almost 3kg (6lbs), which was SUPER unusual and is not something I usually experienced in PMS (my weight did fluctuate some, but never more than 1kg - about 2lbs). I felt bloated, some of my rings didn't fit, and experienced fretting about my body to the point of tears, which hasn't happened since I lost a lot of weight and generally got a lot fitter 4 years back. My body image was also damaged by the appearance of zits all over my face (I have six of those fuckers right now, and the most I usually have is the odd one or two).\n\n**This is the first time I\u2019m experiencing PMS while sober in nearly a decade.** I did not expect such accentuated difference and it feels like it\u2019s sucker-punched me in the face with the strength of a dozen MMA fighters who won\u2019t stop beating me up though I\u2019m already down, writhing in pain.\n\nAlso/side-note: while doing research on this, I\u2019ve found weed can also lower fertility both by blocking ovulation making it less likely that an egg will be fertilized and lowering the chances of a fertilized egg implanting on the uterus (*vide* the article on specific facts on the effects of cannabis during menstrual cycle, 2nd point). I admit I\u2019m not ideally mindful of my birth control (I don\u2019t take hormones and depend on use of condoms, which I\u2019m more conscious of during the fertile phase) but have never gotten pregnant, despite making not-so-rare mistakes. I\u2019m now worrying my chances of getting by while being careless will be slimmer, and will strive to deal with this particular issue with waaaay more attentiveness.\n\n\nI\u2019d really like to hear more thoughts on this and have a vital question for long-time quitters: **have these symptoms at all subsided as you got further into your abstinence?** I know I\u2019ll deal with them better each time, as I have with the \u2018normal\u2019 feelings I usually sedated, but do they *de facto* abate, diminish, get softer, less noticeable? Especially the physical symptoms -- bloating, acne. Any comment will be more than welcome!\n\n\n\nLiterature:\n1. General marijuana interference and interaction with hormones\nhttp://www.latinpost.com/articles/20705/20140903/study-thanks-to-estrogen-marijuana-affects-women-more.htm\nhttp://cornerstonecollective.com/sex-hormones-and-cannabis-potency/\n\n**2. Specific facts on the effects of cannabis during menstrual cycle/fertility\nhttps://sensiseeds.com/en/blog/top-5-ways-that-cannabis-can-affect-the-menstrual-cycle/\n(#3 is super on-point with my post, and this IMO is the best article I linked)**\n\nMarijuana and common PMS symptoms\nhttps://thejointblog.com/7-reasons-cannabis-excellent-pms/\n\nMarijuana, female hormones and fertility\nhttp://herb.co/2016/03/21/fertility-does-marijuana-have-an-impact/\n\n. Studies:\nMarijuana: interaction with the estrogen receptor (abst - 1983)\nhttp://jpet.aspetjournals.org/content/224/2/404\n\nMarijuana Effects on the Endocrine and Reproductive Systems (full - 1984)\nhttps://archives.drugabuse.gov/pdf/monographs/44.pdf\n\nAcute effects of marihuana smoking on prolactin levels in human females.\n(abst - 1985)\nhttp://jpet.aspetjournals.org/content/232/1/220?maxtoshow=&hits=80&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=marihuana&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT\n\nEffects of chronic marijuana use on testosterone, luteinizing hormone, follicle stimulating hormone, prolactin and cortisol in men and women. (abst - 1991)\nhttp://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1935564\n\n", "post_id": "5omtlo", "comment_id": "dcpgcht"}, {"question": "No, paracetamol and vitamin C don't have any dangerous interaction.", "comment": "M 19\n\n\nI take 550 mg of sodium ascorbate twice a day. Will taking a 500 mg paracetamol tablet every 4 hours be bad for me?", "post_id": "8gct6h", "comment_id": "dyandvi"}, {"question": "The way I think most people understand alcoholism is that after that first we drink we can't stop. That's why there isn't a large circle for those trying to moderate. The point is, for a lot of us on this sub (from what I've seen), moderation isn't an option. It may well be for you, but that's a decision you have to make for yourself. Read up on alcoholism, bounce some questions, ultimately it comes down to your decision whether you are afflicted or not. I understand the being able to stop when something important needed to be met. That's called binge drinking, and in my case it was a slippery slope. I think typically for those who moderate, they start with a period of abstinence either way. So look into moderation and look into what alcoholism is and decide for yourself what the best course of action is. We'll be here. ", "comment": "I am new(ish) on Reddit, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for my question. I have an alcohol problem, no doubt about it, but I want to join a club that says \"I am averaging 2 drinks a day\" Instead of a dry county culture. Why isn't there something between zero and one?\n\nEdit: Thank you all for putting up with me. It means a lot.", "post_id": "1t50ju", "comment_id": "ce4flnr"}, {"question": "Therapists and psychologists are pretty similar and can both work with you\u2019re difficulties. If you are interested in sex therapy AASECT is the organization that certifies sex therapists. You can search on there for one in your area. A good book that I would recommend is \u201ccome as you are\u201d by Emily Nagoski. She also has some great videos and Ted talks.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "evqwme", "comment_id": "ffxfwrx"}, {"question": "go for it!!", "comment": "So near the end of grade 12 I got talking to a girl in my class and got her number. We talked a bit for a couple weeks but the convo got boring and im pretty sure I wimped out and missed my shot. Do you think 2 months later its worth manning up and asking her out even though the chances have probably diminished? ", "post_id": "73qwes", "comment_id": "dnsjv33"}, {"question": "sounds like she doesn't want a real rel.    if you're happy with occasional fwb, go for it. but don't expect more", "comment": "After starting my more recent job I met a girl who worked there and we instantly developed into very close friends. With very similar personalities and a lot in common, more so than anyone else I\u2019ve ever met. We\u2019d spend time together talking, doing activities, going for drinks and such. She was in a long time committed relationship which was fine for me as I never really saw her as more at the time. Although after talks it was apparent the relationship wasn\u2019t suiting her anymore.\n\nShe started getting involved with a different guy at work, fooling around and such insisting it was towards the end of her current relationship. As her friend, I knew about most of it but since it didn\u2019t concern me just let it play it out. We then went out on a work night out and after a few drinks she kissed me. I thought she was silly drunk so I ignored it and never brought it up. A few weeks later again at a work thing she came onto me strong, which was strange as the recent guy at work she was seeing was in the other room.\n\nAt this point I wasn\u2019t happy about what she was doing and it was all having me question my feelings for her or if any exist. We spoke about it sober and she would say \u201cshe didn\u2019t know how she felt\u201d that she needs time to think ect. Which was fine, I guess I was in a similar boat. However, a few days later we all went out and she was all over the other guy from work. I felt annoyed due to the fact she never addressed our talks and that she obviously doesn\u2019t value our friendship or whatever we have. I started drinking a lot at this point and ended up making a scene and outing her as I was very annoyed.\n\nBasically, since then she finished with her boyfriend and the guy from work didn\u2019t like her lies and ended it. We continued being friends until we slept together and she later put me in the friendzone for a different guy she wanted to see.\n\nI\u2019m not sure how to progress I feel like I\u2019m being strung along. Does it sound like I\u2019m a backup? Can I continue being a close friend?\n\nSorry for amount of text. Thanks for reading.", "post_id": "5t8hxo", "comment_id": "ddl1b1q"}, {"question": "Most people are too self-absorbed to give much lasting thought to whatever you do or say. Take a chance and express yourself more freely\u2014you may find that you actually attract more people who are drawn to you, because authentic expression is more interesting than acting in ways that are socially \u201csafe\u201d", "comment": "I\u2019ve always been able to have conversations with people but I have this goofy, witty, silly side that I only express at home with my family but almost never when around others. I\u2019m afraid that, due to suppressing this side of me for so long, that I haven\u2019t been able to calibrate it enough to be socially acceptable and I may come off as cringey and over the top. I\u2019m afraid of coming off obnoxious and cringey and driving people away from me due to an \u201cunderdevelopment\u201d of my true personality from years of shyness. \n\nIs this even possible or is this side of me already acceptable and I\u2019m just overthinking things?", "post_id": "ekd2k9", "comment_id": "fd9e24w"}, {"question": "I'm not sure it's depression - and im a psychiatrist!\n\nIt is a possibility that it is depression, but you only describe low energy levels. Have you lost interest in things? Do you actually feel low in mood?\n\nI think you are doing the right thing by engaging with your GP, and hopefully you'll find an answer one way or another. Sorry I can't be of any more help.", "comment": "I'm a 25 year old white male, roughly 5ft 8 and around 85KG. I workout a few times a week, usually weight training and a bit of light cardio; I'd like to think that I eat relatively healthily, too. I've been battling with tiredness for a few years now but it seems to have gotten significantly worse over the past month or two. My girlfriend has commented over the past few years how tired I get in an evening and I can sometimes feel quite irritable / anxious. I usually get around 8-9 hours sleep per evening.\n\nMy vision has also been getting a little worse, finding it hard to focus on brightly coloured objects around 0.5m away. My eyes are quite sensitive to light and can almost dazzle me sometimes. I seem to have quite a few little dots / shapes which I can see in my peripheral vision which reading online appear to be normal. I went for an eye test last week, which they said I was +0.50 but glasses weren't necessary. \n\nI've been to the doctor for blood tests relating to my tiredness and they've checked for diabetes with no sign of pre diabetes. I've been checked for B12, folates, calcium, bone profile etc; my folates came back low on one set of tests then came back normal on the second repeat test. \n\nThe tiredness has progressed now to a point where I feel totally burnt out and feel like I'm running on empty for most of the day. I don't feel sharp and I don't feel on form what so ever. It's a strange feeling but almost like my body is a shell and my head is mush. I'm getting progressively more stressed and frustrated with it. \n\nWhilst this may be un-related, for the past few years I've been prone to constipation - getting an ache around my colon / kidney, with loin to groin pain. After an ultrasound and a CT scan, it appears that there's a blockage. The doctor is unsure what the blockage is, so I'm being referred to a urologist. I say un-related, but doing some digging around (which I understand can be fraught with danger on the internet...) there's suggestions of gluten intolerance which can give me very similar symptoms such as the constipation and fatigue. \n\nThe whole situation and feeling of tiredness is leaving me really quite disheartened and removed from my usual self and if anyone has any avenues worth exploring, I'd be extremely grateful!\n\n", "post_id": "4xp6w9", "comment_id": "d6hkvf7"}, {"question": "What would you like to do after university?\n\nA lot of university is about gaining transferable skills that can be used in many vocations. You might find that law provides some of those skills depending on what you would like to do long-term.\n\nIf you are anything like me as a student, you might be at risk of not attending law classes despite your best intentions because there is no consequence. Also formal testing tends to focus the brain better and you'd probably learn more because of it.\n\nAgain, all this depends on your future aspirations.", "comment": "I'm starting my second year at a Liberal Arts university. My major is Business Studies and until now I was planning on minoring in Law and Psychology. \n\nI'm sure that after graduating I will not be working in any capacity at a law firm or a place where my law knowledge will be required.\n\nThe reason I chose Law is that I felt it's always good to have a knowledge of the legal system. Besides, our Law faculty is top notch.\n\nIf I ditch the law minor, I will still attend the classes and absorb information. The upside is I will not have to spend time writing a dissertation and sitting for the various exams etc.\n\nI don't want to drop business or psychology. \n\nThanks for reading so far, please help me out.", "post_id": "4vb8gf", "comment_id": "d5x2ixj"}, {"question": "You need to have a seriously open and honest talk with him. Remember, there is an important difference between criticisms and complaints. One is about the things that make up who a person is, the other is about that person's behavior. One is more stable and unchangeable, while the other is more malleable and adjustable.", "comment": "I've been married to my husband for three months and I'm already thinking about divorce. He comes from extreme poverty and my family was somewhat wealthy. He has more education than I do and is brilliant. However, he is severely lacking in social skills and general common sense manners. I had to teach him how to hold a fork and knife, how to chew with his mouth closed, and how to use a napkin (he often leaves food on his face when he's eating.) He does disgusting things like brush his teeth in the kitchen sink and clip toenails on the kitchen table. He puts his shoes on the kitchen counter and leaves disgusting messes in the bathroom. I had to teach him how to use bed sheets. He had no idea that he was supposed to use sheets on a bed. I can't take him anywhere social, because he is so embarrassing. Especially not with my co-workers. I feel like he is a good husband, but I'm starting to feel more like his mother than his wife, and we've stopped having sex. I did live with him with 8 months before we married but I had no idea it would be THIS bad. I just want to have a meal with a man who I don't have to tell to blow his nose because it's running, or show how to use a fork, or tell not to announce that he's going to the bathroom at the dinner table. I'm thinking about cheating. Should I get a divorce?", "post_id": "7is5l6", "comment_id": "dr13thu"}, {"question": "We are surrounded by a horrifying array of potentially fatal bacteria and viruses at all times. Our skin provides an amazing first line of defense, and our immune systems provide an even more amazing second line.\n\nYou could catch something bad from a toilet seat, but you're probably more likely to catch it from food you touched after touching your phone, which you touched before washing your hands after touching a doorknob or something.", "comment": "Age - middle age\n\nSex - any\n\nHeight - haven't measured in a long time\n\nWeight - over 70kg, haven't measured in a long time.\n\nRace - n/a\n\nLocation - North American public toilet\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues - used to have pimples on butt caused by sweat and uncleaness\n\nCurrent medications - none\n\nAsking a general sanitary question, not a medical one. This seems to be the best sub to ask this.\n", "post_id": "8jhk4h", "comment_id": "dyzqz47"}, {"question": ">I\u2019m now curious to know at what point he would have called someone to start that? \n\nI am never comfortable speculating about what another clinician would do. In clinics that I have worked in, \"imminent risk to self\" typically looks like, \"I plan to kill myself and I will not safety plan with you to keep myself safe.\" A note that I do not work with severe eating disorders and don't have the clinical expertise to make safety judgements related to that. \n\n>Can a therapist actually be the one to initiate the process of involuntarily hospitalizing a client that is over 18? \n\nThis varies by location. In my state, the answer is kind of... no. We have exactly as much a right to call for you to be involuntarily hospitalized as any other random adult. However, we know who to call and have an ethical obligation to ensure client safety, which is not true of any other random adult. \n\n>If that would have happened would I just be stuck there until they\u2019ve determined that I\u2019m safe? \n\nThis is another question that varies based on the specific laws of your state (or location if you are outside the US). Oftentimes, the law is something like, \"We'll hold you up to 72 hours to evaluate you and then decide what needs to happen based on those evaluations\" (with the specific length varying by state). Oftentimes, that means coming up with a more intensive outpatient treatment plan. Occasionally, it means asking for you to voluntarily commit yourself. Rarely, it means going through the court to ask for them to commit you because you are such an extreme danger to yourself or others. You would be represented by an attorney in that situation. \n\n>If you\u2019re admitted involuntarily can they make you comply with medications? \n\nGenerally, you have a right to refuse medications. There is some variation for legitimate medical emergencies (and based on state law). \n\n>As an adult can they force you to wear a feeding tube?\n\nI am not knowledgeable about this beyond the information that this is both extreme and uncommon, based on very, very serious medical danger to oneself.", "comment": "I was recently dealing with a lot of intense suicidal thoughts. I also struggle with anorexia.  While talking with my therapist we were kind of going around in circles and he finally said something like \u201cthis is the point where involuntary hospitalization becomes appropriate because I can\u2019t convince you that living is a better option. I can\u2019t compete against your logic here and I\u2019m concerned for you.\u201d \nFast forward-he never ended up doing anything about that but I was able to get the support I needed from home for the most part. Going to the hospital would have been very damaging for from a psychological perspective. I\u2019m now curious to know at what point he would have called someone to start that? Can a therapist actually be the one to initiate the process of involuntarily hospitalizing a client that is over 18? \nIf that would have happened would I just be stuck there until they\u2019ve determined that I\u2019m safe? If you\u2019re admitted involuntarily can they make you comply with medications? As an adult can they force you to wear a feeding tube? \nI know I have a lot of questions but Ive had some regrets about being honest and communicating these thoughts out of fear. In the future I would like to know how to navigate this sort of conversation in a way that doesn\u2019t harm me but I can feel honest and in control.", "post_id": "hr3z0x", "comment_id": "fy2kcur"}, {"question": "That likely means you have been infected with EBV in the past, but not very recenty.\n\nThe test looks at antibodies you produce in response to EBV infection. The IgM appears early in infection and disappears a few weeks after you clear the infection. Early antigen IgG also rises and then dissipates. The anti-nuclear antigen antibody and capsid antigen IgG remain detectable forever after you've been infected\u2014those are the antibodies that you build up to protect you from reinfection.\n\nSo what this test says is you've had EBV, maybe asymptomatically, at some time probably more than a month in the past. That also means you have a latent infection and will for life, as is common, which can reactivate, but your antibodies show no sign of recent reactivation.\n\nBest guess? Like many unexplained, transient illnesses, it's probably some virus that got you sick for a while. It'll probably never be diagnosed; most viruses aren't. It'll also probably get better with a little more time. Think of it like a cold; different symptoms, but same spend a few days sick and then recover trajectory.", "comment": "On 3/27 I started to feel like I was coming down with something. I was tachycardic and having bad heart palpitations. I felt not myself and felt my body was at war. I had a small fever for two days. \n\nI had a throat culture done and it came back positive for beta hemalytic non group a strep which was told is normal and isn't treatable. \n\nI had mono spot done on 3/28 which was negative. My fever has resolved as well as my palpations. \n\nI decided to go get checked out at my local ER because my heart was going crazy and I felt extremely ill. I was tested for EBV.\n\nCurrently the symptoms I have is that I feel very fatigued and feel drained of energy. Some brain fog. No fever. No chills. No sore throat. No vomiting.\n\nI feel a little better but still EXTREMELY FATIGUED.\n\nI logged onto my health chart for my local hospital and saw EBV tests came back and they are as follows:\n\nEBV Early Antigen IgG ab - negative\n\nEBV Capsid ag IgM ab - negative\n\nEBV Nuclear ag ab - 389\n\nEBV Capsid ag IgG ab - 254\n\nWhat does this mean? What else could be causing my symptoms? Any idea what this means in terms of severity, duration etc? ", "post_id": "8a59fg", "comment_id": "dww40bm"}, {"question": "Plenty of things that could cause this.  General anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, ADHD, past trauma could play a role, you name it.  If it's something that's becoming more concerning or debilitating to you the best thing you can do is see a therapist for help.  It'd help you a hell of a lot more than asking on Reddit and googling what people respond with.  ", "comment": "Something like opening the mail or paying a parking ticket.", "post_id": "9kpelj", "comment_id": "e715dew"}, {"question": "breaks should be defined. did it end or is it a break? breaks should be one month, with scheduled contact and no dating others.", "comment": "If things ended and you both need some space, how long do you wait before reconnecting?\n\nToo long may kill the chances of getting back together, though so too could trying to reconnect too soon.\n\nAnyone been in this situation?", "post_id": "6belks", "comment_id": "dhlzojc"}, {"question": "Try to notice that the thoughts are happening while they are happening. don't freak out. Its just a horror movie in your head, it doesn't have to be you. Watch the thoughts and watch them change. Look underneath the rage. there's usually some other uncomfortable feelings hanging around too like feeling very vulnerable. ", "comment": "Like somebody will say/do something that sets you off and then you no joke plan out how you'd murder them but you don't actually go through with it due to not wanting to go to hell if it exists + the easiness of getting caught? I can't talk to a therapist about it yet because getting my insurance figured out, but how do you guys deal with extreme rage like that? I cut myself on my leg a few days ago which kinda helps but yeah", "post_id": "9s14hf", "comment_id": "e8lfbf7"}, {"question": "If your own mental and physical health is threatened by a sponsee, get rid of her... she more than likely needs a higher level of care...i.e. counseling ", "comment": "I'm at a loss. \n\nI've been working with this sponsee for maybe a year. \n\nThere's been multiple relapses but she keeps calling and doing the work (in a passive aggressive way).\n\nBut there's been a few occasions where she's said some pretty hurtful things. \n\nIt's obvious she's coming from a very broken place and she's a master at what I think of as  victim isolation -  as in I push everyone away and then live in a world of 'poor me, I'm so alone, no one understands'. \n\nMy trouble is  I'm not sure how to deal, I have a health condition that is exacerbated by stress and this is becoming stressful. It also means that I have limited energy later in the day, but that's the only time she seems to be able to call. \n\n\nI don't like to think of quitting on someone in pain - who is turning up, but I can't go on like this for much longer. It's taking up too much head space. \n\nThere's a lot of control stuff coming up and that (to me) is the opposite of surrender. \n\n\nI've started al-anon meetings, in addition to speaking with other members and spoken with my sponsor. \n\n\nUpdate:  It's done, the relief is enormous. And I get some new fellowships out of the experience and learned a fucktonne about boundaries. ", "post_id": "8crz85", "comment_id": "dxhlzh3"}, {"question": "Depression, like most mental illness, is a fickle beast. The ability to say that a treatment \"cures\" depression depends on what your meaning of \"cure\" is.\n\nMental illness isn't like a bacterial infection, where you either \"have it\" or you \"don't.\" You can't just administer a treatment and have it completely go away. I like to think of it on a spectrum. It's very difficult to define when someone feels \"depressed\" compared to others. There's an entirety of things that people take into account, and it's never fully the same for every single person. All we can go on are patterns in reports and behaviors.\n\nThat's why it always seems like \"highs\" and \"lows\" when it comes to depression. The main difference in someone who is chronically depressed, however, is that the lows are VERY low. You notice them a lot more than the happy times because that's what you've known for so long. You know exactly what it feels like to be sad, but to describe what happy feels like is generally more difficult.\n\nI'm not going to sit here and tell you that a \"cure\" exists, if you define cure by you either have it or you don't. If you do, then it is completely understandable that you find yourself trapped and that it's absolutely frustrating and depressing for you and those around you.\n\nTaking a different perspective on your treatment may help. However, depending on what treatment you are actually undertaking, that may be difficult. I agree that, maybe, after all these years, you try something else. It sounds like you've reaped some benefits of treatment at some points in your life: even though you are \"aching so badly from this horrible disease,\" you do say that you have achieved an \"okay life for a while.\" That alone speaks volumes to your commitment and willingness to seek help.\n\nBut you are getting tired. Tired of it all. That I completely empathize with. It feels like you drag your feet all the time, but you can't stop. It feels like a huge weight on your shoulders all the time, but you can't lift the weight off. It bogs you down over time.\n\nAs long as you have that sliver of hope that one day you will feel better than you feel right now, that's what you cling to. Depression exists on a spectrum; it ebbs and flows over time. How you manage the rhythm is how you overcome depression. It never fully leaves you alone the entirety of your life, but you prepare yourself should if and when it returns.\n\nBest of luck to you! :)", "comment": "There's no cure for depression. I've been having therapy and medication for years now. \n\nYou can achieve an \"okay\" life for a while, but it's just a temporary high. \n\nYou'll always come crashing back to rock bottom. The future is pointless and disappointing. I want for nothing in my life. It's \"perfect\" but I ache so badly from this horrible disease rotting my brain that I can't enjoy it. I can't die because I'll let too many people down. I can't live because it's absolutely excruciating. \n\nI have an appointment with my doctor on Monday. I want to tell him how angry I am with this all. I want to be cured. He may suggest hospitalising me, but I don't want that as there's no way out if I truly need it. \n\nI'm so trapped. ", "post_id": "525nxi", "comment_id": "d7hji2m"}, {"question": "Either shrug or give them a look and go \"dude, that's my sister\" ", "comment": "So, I get a lot of compliments about my sister, like \"your sister is gorgeous\" and so on. How do I respond to this kind of compliments?\nDo I approve? Do I say \"well yeah\"? \nIt always ends up in an awkward situation.\n\nSide facts: \nI am male myself\n\"I\" get those compliments from girls and guys", "post_id": "5hx0dv", "comment_id": "db3utum"}, {"question": "How is the way the group relates to you different from the way the group relates to others? You say for instance that they don't make a special effort to get you to come out to stuff. But if they don't make a special effort to get ANYONE to come out to stuff, then you are just as valuable of a group member as anyone else--the group just doesn't express value in that way.", "comment": "I seem to have trouble becoming an important part of my friend groups. I mean, outside people DO consider me interesting, and I'm pretty confident and outspoken, but my friends never make effort to try to get me somewhere, none of the usual convincing or 'aww's when I can't make it, and they have never mentioned anything of how much they appreciate me, even though I have said and done a whole bunch for them.\n\nI've noticed that most people are like this, yet there is that ~3% of people who's absence you DO notice. People who are simply fun to be around, not necessarily of good character. I was wondering what it takes to become one of those people, how to become valuable. \n\nMy main trouble as far as socialization goes is quoting and pop-culture. I don't follow TV too well, and I'm so terrible at names that I can't talk about 'people' and actors and bands, also, I just can't join in the quote battles, I just don't remember them.\n\nAny advice or input?\n\n", "post_id": "12s4sk", "comment_id": "c6xsvj6"}, {"question": "Hey there, if it is interfering in your life (which it is, or you wouldnt be here), then you ought to think about seeing a counselor. All of what you described are symptoms of depression, and when you add in the thoughts about death, it sounds serious. \n\nMost colleges have therapists on staff that are fully trained and competent for these things. Maybe try seeing one of them?", "comment": "I'm a freshman right now at one of the top competitive colleges in America. Also, I have never been diagnosed with depression, or have ever seen a therapist/counselor. I don't want to say that I feel sad most of the time, but at the same time I'm never happy. I can be happy momentarily for my friends, but when I'm by myself, I just switch off. Reading a list of depression symptoms, I can relate to some of them, like excessive sleep, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness, memory problems and being irritable, but at the same time I don't have symptoms like changes in appetite, feeling shaky, sweating, or having hot flashes, feeling lightheaded, sick to your stomach, or out of breath. I've always felt like happy people are just screwing themselves over for life. I just feel like sleeping or doing nothing. I'm never caught up on the things I need to do, even if I know I need to do them. Secretly, I wish that I would be in a fatal accident so I don't have to deal with the world. I have been like this my entire life growing up, but I don't even know if I am depressed. ", "post_id": "speds", "comment_id": "c4gadju"}, {"question": "Just want to add another voice to the chorus, from a fellow ED sufferer: Break up with this guy. ", "comment": "I have a boyfriend, we have been together for 6 months. We meet about once every week and he has told me that he loves me.\nI told him when we began this relationship that I want to take things slow, because when we started dating it was only a month and a half after me and my ex broke up after a three year relationship.\n\nI felt good with my current BF but he told me shortly after we started the relationship that he had been anorexic, but was absolutely and perfectly well now. I had been battling anorexia about 8 months before we began dating so I know how it is.\n\nBut I have noticed that he isn't over it, he eats like a little girl, constantly counts calories and it is triggering me, really bad. Around other people I don't feel like stopping eating, starving myself for perfection but around him I do.\n\nI have told him about this and that I feel uncomfortable naked around him, because he's so thin and fragile, meanwhile I now have some meat on my bones (130 pounds, he weight much less and is taller.)\n\nHe thinks it is only about me being uncomfortable naked, but it is just really hard, and I can't handle with it, I want to focus on my own health, I try to help him, but I only can feel myself getting worse.\n\nThere are also other reasons why I want to break up with him.\nI am moving out of the country in six months or so, to go to Uni and then we will break up. \n\nWhen we have sex it is only he who orgasms, and we never ever cuddle.\n\nHe thinks this is a happy,normal relationship(his first) but I know it isn't.\n\nThank you for reading this.\n\n**TLDR**\nWell, I feel like my BF for six months is really pushing my anorexic tendancies and that makes me feel really bad, but I do not know if that is a a reason enough to break up with him.\n\n\n", "post_id": "p4odj", "comment_id": "c3mjml9"}, {"question": "You'll never have a good relationship if you don't prioritize your SO.", "comment": "I want to marry him, but I can't leave them. \n\nI've got an incredible family and am very close with my parents. They had me late, so they're already in their 60's. I'm constantly terrified of something happening to them. \n\nI've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We are the same person in two bodies. He's planning on proposing fairly soon. I've moved 1000 miles away from my hometown with him, to a place he really likes, for his job. \n\nI know he doesn't love where I'm from... neither do I, but I see myself needing to move back closer to my parents, pretty soon. I can't stand thinking that I might have 10 years left with them if I'm lucky, and that I'm wasting those years halfway across the country. \n\nMy boyfriend, I think, has a hunch that I feel this way. He knows how much I think about them and how sad it makes me to be away. I have not told him explicitly that I want to end up back there one day... but I don't think he'd be surprised if I did. \n\nMy town is rural, but there are a couple of decently interesting cities an hour or two's drive away. I don't think it's completely hopeless. And our ultimate goal was to work for a few years in a city to save up money, then buy some land in the country and do some simpler work to get by after that. Where I'm from would be perfect for that! Tons of rural land and super cheap cost of living, but I don't know if he sees it. \n\nI'm terrified of bringing this up with him as a thing that I definitely need, because I'll have no clue what to do if he doesn't want this. \n\nHe's from literally the opposite end of the country, too, and he might think it's unfair to live near my parents and not his. Thing is, my parents are poor and can't afford plane tickets to visit. His are very wealthy and jet off to European countries at least every month or two. \n\nHalf of me wants to jump into marriage and having kids with him so they can see that I have a happy successful life and get to meet their grandchildren. The other half is pulling the brakes hard on the marriage thing because I CAN'T be so far away from my parents for more than another year or two, I think, and I won't know what to do if he doesn't want that.\n\nAm I wrong for thinking this way? How do I begin to try to bring this up with my boyfriend? How does everyone else do this?!", "post_id": "75ybli", "comment_id": "do9um67"}, {"question": "Intrusive thoughts I would agree with. I would also hazard a guess that likely they are feeling very emotionally overwhelmed, based on the impulse examples you give.", "comment": "I don't want to call it \"Going-crazy\" or whatever. I'm wondering if there is a term relating to this: \n\nSuddenly having an impulse idea to suddenly get up and harm ones self. Impulsive ideas to suddenly get up and run away, far far away. Suddenly feeling like offing yourself on a whim and for no known reason, idiopathically (with no known reason why, no source sad emotion). Sudden impulse ideas to rip your hair out, and cry and scream your head off (also hearing that crying and screaming you WOULD DO if you were to, in your head. You hear yourself suddenly cry and scream violently in your mind.)\n\n​\n\nIs there a term for that, that isn't \"crazy?\" .. it's such a plain word, I don't think it's very  or accurate enough to call it though. Asking on behalf of observing somebody.", "post_id": "e1fxjo", "comment_id": "f8owka3"}, {"question": "I don't feel comfortable giving you advice while you are high on a substance.  The best I can say if you want to change your mood while high I would suggest listening to music that you enjoy and that would put you in a good mood.  Try to switch your thoughts to positive ones just change what you are doing altogether.  There are many types of therapy nowadays, it is not all psychotherapy.  Wait until you are sober to revisit these thoughts.  ", "comment": "Hello reddit I am pretty stoned and I realized that I have had clinical depression for Years now and I now look back at the pictures in my phone nd my old pics from 2008 to present day (right now as I'm High) and I see How sad and lifeless I look and also how I have been the cause of everything bad that has happened to my family.\nI'ts basically a two part question..\n>How do I stop thinking about this so I can enjoy my High\n>What should I do about being in denial about depression and does treatment work or is it all psychotherapy?\n\nbecause If it's phycotherapy I'm afraid of the things I might say to the psychologist cause I would get sent to the psychward Forever.", "post_id": "3iuedg", "comment_id": "cujphan"}, {"question": "Seeking reassurance only strengthens the cycle. \"Testing\" needs to be off the table. It's difficult with sexual obsessions, but necessary. You simply have to practice sitting with the doubt instead of trying to figure things out. I struggle with the same thing, so I get it.", "comment": "I think this is another confession compulsion, but I need to get it out. \n\nThis week I was suddenly reminded of something that \"happened\" over a year ago. During that time my OCD was really bad and I had constant intrusive sexual thoughts. \n\nI remembered one time getting an image in my head, then getting anxious, and then getting a \"groinal response\". I was anxious about the thought, but the response felt very real, so I deicided to \"test\" myself, so I could figure out once and for all if I was a sick person.\n\nI basically forced myself to masturbate to the thought, thinking that nobody would be hurt by this \"testing\". However, I was mostly thinking about normal sexual stuff to actually stimulate myself. Needless to say, it was a horrible decision and I got very panicked about the testing. \n\nI've read sexual studies that say that physical stimulation alone can lead to an erection and that sexual thoughts in general can generate feelings of attraction, even if the content is not likeable. I'm not comparing myself to a rape victim but I've read about rape victims getting physical feelings of stimulation (obviously rape IS NEVER pleasant). I've told myself that the other sexual stuff was the thing that essentially got me excited. I've also read about groinal responses in OCD.\n\nDespite all of this, I feel like it's different (classic OCD-trick). I guess I'm looking for some reassurance here.  ", "post_id": "3npxsd", "comment_id": "cvq819w"}, {"question": "My personal concern wouldn't be so much that you wouldn't lose weight - you're practically malnourished so that feels like a certainty, even if it may be slower. My concern would be gaining it back if the underlying hormonal imbalance that caused weight gain in the first place isn't actually addressed or managed. ", "comment": "Anyone here have WLS due to PCOS? If so did you lose the weight quickly or slower than average. I'd love to gain some insight before having a VSG. Thanks everyone!", "post_id": "97ifld", "comment_id": "e48xqiz"}, {"question": "Exactly. Sensory overload but it's all right at our finger tips, how can we not pounce? Keep it up!", "comment": "Prey passes the tiger who\n\nSometimes merely looks,\n\nSometimes pounces without hesitation,\n\nBut never fails to act.\n\n**My Take:**\nWhen I drank, I was completely disengaged with life.  That bottle was all that mattered, and my life revolved around it.  Now, sober and alert, it's almost sensory overload.  I feel the need to \"pounce\" on everything.   Not in a violent way.  I mean I feel the need to somehow deal with everything that comes my way.\n\nI need to learn to let some things pass, but remain aware of them.", "post_id": "43yy1y", "comment_id": "czmimme"}, {"question": "http://manyfaces1voice.org/\n\nCheck out here on information on how to get started on advocacy for recovery. ", "comment": "This is new on Netflix in documentaries: The Anonymous People. I'm watching it now and thought to let y'all know in case you're interested. It about the stigma against people in recovery and advocating for more awareness of addiction and alcoholism as a disease and treating it as such much like the medical establishment approach to cancer treatment.\n\nPretty interesting so far. \n\nhttp://www.rottentomatoes.com/mobile/m/the_anonymous_people/?nopopup=true\n\n", "post_id": "269n6t", "comment_id": "chozehs"}, {"question": "I think you already know the response - herbal quackery.", "comment": "According to wikipedia they have over 215 clinical trials backing them, but the first source for this is down (with no backup on archive.org) and the second source is an online newspaper (which gives no primary source for the claim that the products are clinically proven).\n\nUPDATE: I went to PubMed to look up the ingredients of the product I was given as a free sample and most trials (of the ones that actually told you the conclusions in the abstract) found them to have a positive correlation.\n\nHowever, some trials found the effects of one ingredient to be no better than a placebo when tested on humans, but others found it it to work when tested on mice, so I don't know about that one.", "post_id": "52rj5e", "comment_id": "d7mms0k"}, {"question": "somewhat poor social skills in that I always seem to interrupt people when talking (due to always thinking about multiple things and then realizing something I need to share RIGHTNOW) and have trouble telling when I've taken a joke too far.", "comment": "+ I am much less easily susceptible to being startled by loud noises, or by anything, really. \n\n+ I am extremely laid-back and never have a real sense of urgency.\n\nI'll try to think of more. What do you guys have?\n", "post_id": "10ck70", "comment_id": "c6carz9"}, {"question": "if he's struggling with a big issue like that, you'll know something is up, and he'll prob start talking about it.  just good to know so you can measure your level of emotional investment just in case.", "comment": "We have a great relationship, he treats me well and we get along great. We've been seeing each other for a few months now. The other day while I was at his place he left to go pick something up and I stayed behind. \n\nI'm not the type of person to snoop - and what I found was on accident. I had forgotten my password for something and I had it emailed to me. So I go to my email, only his is signed on automatically. Weird, I know he has a different email. Whatever. I go to log out and notice something. \n\nIt was a confirmation for signing up for a Trans dating site. Specifically FTM. From what I can tell he never messaged anyone (at least that wasnt emailed to him) and this was before we got together. I'm an incredibly laid back person. I wouldnt blink an eye if this was porn. I'm not exactly into vanilla stuff either. \n\nBut...it wasnt porn. And I am very lost. He's told me some fantasies and stuff that he thinks arent normal and I've never judged him. I've went along with some of them because I like some kink too. None of them pointed in this direction, however. Almost the opposite. \n\nI'm very scared of approaching this subject with him. He hasn't even hinted at it. I should not have looked. There is so many things I am just reeling over right now and I dont know where to go from here. Please help a little?", "post_id": "5odu71", "comment_id": "dcijnwu"}, {"question": "Perspective and gratitude with a heavy dose of existentialism.  \n\nWhile I won't pretend to have any real belief or knowledge of what happens when we die, gun to my head, I'd bet that it's just fade to black and that's it, so I basically think we get one life to live, try to make the most of it and find a way to make it as meaningful as we can to us.  \n\nSo many people aren't even lucky enough to have any really good  times to look back on or their past really was hell and they'd do anything to not relive it.  \n\n\nFor us nostalgic folks, we wish we could relive it, but unfortunately we can't.  I try to be grateful for the good things in the past while trying to make my present something I'll be nostalgic for in the future.", "comment": "Title pretty much sums it up. How do you cope with those intense feelings of nostalgia from seeing or remembering something from a time passed, knowing that whatever that thing was, it'll never be that way again? Does everyone's feelings of nostalgia hurt or is it me?", "post_id": "f5zmw1", "comment_id": "fi4kx8q"}, {"question": "\"Cleanses\" are fads that serve no medical purpose and, as far as we know, don't really do anything.", "comment": "Hello, I am a 16yo, female, im Latina, 1.55 meters tall and I weight 55kg. \nI don't take drugs or drink alcohol.\nI only take birthcontrol (Gynera) and sometimes I take a stomach protector in the morning.\nI have a very upset/sensitive stomach, sometimes it can't even take a cookie.\nI feel like I should detox my stomach and start a new and healthier diet.\nBut I know that for detoxification I will cleanse everything from my body, and there will go my birthcontrol intake. \nSo I thought that maybe during the 7 day break of my contraception I could do the cleanse? Or would it mess up with my birthcontrol anyway?\nAlso, if I do the cleanse and don't have intercourse during that pill package (21 days), will I be safe from pregnancy when I start the next package?", "post_id": "ghjdn6", "comment_id": "fq9zhwl"}, {"question": "I have just been on meds a few weeks. Normally I am very irritable and emotionally reactive and prone to lashing out at my husband now and then. Since starting Ritalin, I still experience some irritability or moodiness at times but feel much better able to manage the feelings without lashing out.", "comment": "I have a huge problem with \"latching on\" to whatever emotion I'm feeling and acting on it. It's usually harmless but annoying, especially to other people. It can manifest itself as droning on and on about something that I care about, or \"jumping ahead\" in a conversation because I know where I want the convo to go and I just do it.\n\n​\n\nIt becomes a problem when the emotions are strong and concern someone else. A breakup for example. Or trying to ask someone out and texting a long paragraph about when and schedules and what we can do (when all I got was a \"yeah we should hang out sometime\").\n\n​\n\nSo, endearing if not a little bit annoying at the least, but detrimental to my relationships and friendships at the most.\n\n​\n\nWhat's everyone's experience with this?", "post_id": "aeksc4", "comment_id": "edq58vz"}, {"question": "Its fine, but not ideal. Might make you sleepy.\n\n[NHS - escitalopram](https://beta.nhs.uk/medicines/escitalopram/) ", "comment": "Hi everyone, \n\nI'm a 26 years old woman, and I've been prescribed SSRI (5mg escitalopram to be exact) medicine for my moderate depression. Can I drink alcohol while taking it? \n\nI'm talking about social drinking, 2-3 beers with friends once-twice a month, or a couple of glasses of white wine with dinner (once a month maybe). I'm not taking any other medicines at the moment. \n\nThanks!", "post_id": "775l25", "comment_id": "doj7i0f"}, {"question": "No one here can assess whether you do or don't have ADHD. Appropriate use of Adderall at prescribed doses does not produce addiction, and probably doesn't produce dependence\u2014people taking stimulants often have \"drug holidays\" where they don't take any on weekends or other times when they do not need to be able to sustain concentration.\n\nTreatment of ADHD has been shown to reduce rates of substance abuse overall.", "comment": " I got diagnosed with ADHD by a doctor. I have my doubts about having ADHD at all, and am scared that I would get addicted to Adderall. She prescribed the 10mg dose. If I take the prescribed amount the doc gave, Will I get dependent/ addicted on Adderall?\n\nIf this is not the right place to ask this, please delete.\n\n \n\n* Age: 19\n* Sex: M\n* Height: 5'7\n* Weight: 115\n* Race: White \n* Duration of complaint: Got diagnosed around a week ago from today. \n* Location (Geographic and on body): mental \n* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): none\n* Current medications (if any): Adderall ", "post_id": "agb3ij", "comment_id": "ee4yqph"}, {"question": "If it's causing you problems/distress- it could very well be worth it seeking help from a psychologist.", "comment": "I used to have GAD last year, but by taking care of myself, exercising a lot, meditating daily and losing weight, I got over it quite easily and happily, so I felt like I was invincible.\n\nThat's why recently I started abusing coffee and got a panic attack a few days ago. The panic attack didn't scare me off itself, but the aftermath of it does.\n\nYou know, the kind of feeling when you think you're done with it and it came back. I thought I was mentally invincible (I even skydived a few times last month without having a sweat), and now I got hit. I felt depressed by that fact alone.\n\nSo I started the journey I once successfully took to fight anxiety and panic disorder. I exercised more. The thing is, I also withdrew from coffee (cold turkey) and now the effect of caffeine withdrawal starts to hit me too. Generally, I feel anxious (but not too anxious), tired, got a horrible mood swing.\n\nThe only thing I'm not sure now is whether I should seek help from a psychologist or just try to help myself like I once did. I'm not sure if my current state is very much affected by the coffee withdrawal or the anxiety disorder has come back to me...\n\nWhat do you think I should do? Any advice would be much appreciated.", "post_id": "2gn3tx", "comment_id": "cklfv00"}, {"question": "You might want to do a little research on personality disorders (sociopaths are one type, called antisocial personality disorder, along a spectrum of PDs). Usually that diagnosis is characterized by a lack of empathy in the extreme; does that sound like you? \n\nBetter yet, see a therapist or psychologist. What you\u2019re describing sounds very distressing for you and that warrants getting help, and perhaps he or she will be able to sort out the meaning and roots of your need for validation from a romantic interest. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "7flapo", "comment_id": "dqcxhig"}, {"question": "Hey! Thanks for posting. I know it takes courage to share, and I appreciate it. The first step to getting better is asking for help, so I'm glad you've decided to take that first step :)\nI have a few thoughts for you.\n\n * I would **strongly** recommend that you go back to counseling. If your first counselor didn't work out, try another one. Especially if you're in a place where you're considering suicide, it's important that you're talking to someone who can help give you hope and show you possible solutions to the situation you're in.\n * Your situation is not hopeless. It can feel like it, but it's not. Life gets better, and social skills get better. You might be lonely now, but you won't be lonely forever. Don't give up.\n * For learning social skills, it's better to read one thing and practice it than read 100 things and not practice them. Slow and steady is where it's at. Read something, and then practice until you get it down. Here's a specific example. Read this article about [remembering names](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/great-first-impressions-the-name-game). Then practice it every time you learn someone's name. Practice it consistently for a week, and I guarantee you'll be a lot better at remembering names. Remembering names is a small skill, but every little bit helps.\n * Don't compromise who you are to make friends. If you don't want to participate in drugs or drinking, don't. There are people out there who share your aversion to drugs and drinking, and those people will be MUCH better friends for you than the party crowd. Seek out those people.\n * You say that you have a heavy homework load and have no time to join a club or anything. But I guarantee you that if you worked at it, you could find enough time to visit one club a week. Maybe that means you have to get up early once or twice to do homework, or maybe that means you need to give up some Reddit time. But it's ok to sacrifice for something that's important. And it's important for you to meet people, and you're never going to do that if you don't go out and check out clubs or other social groups. Make a goal of visiting one club a week. If you visit a club and you don't like it, try a new one next week. If you visit a club and like it, go back the next week. Once a week is doable, and it will give you something to look forward to.\n * Don't give up! I've said this before, but I'll say it again. You matter very much and your life matters very much and I KNOW that you are going to have awesome friends in the future and that you will be an awesome friend to them. It just takes time. But slow and steady wins the race. So stay in the race, and you'll get there :)", "comment": "Hi, I am a 20 year old university and I feel my life is headed down quite a wrong path, and I don\u2019t realy know where I am going anymore.  My whole life I was used to having a small group of friends.  A group which I grew up, I had acquaintances on the side and generally got along fine socially.  However last year I moved out of my city to pursue a university education and my social life has never really been the same since then.\n\nI spent all of my time in my first year alone, I had two people who were kind of friends who I hung out with on rare occasion.  There would be many occasions where I would go for as much as weeks without talking to anyone and it was eating away at me.  As time went on I found some solidarity in both reddit and a music forum to which both I spend quite large amounts of time on.  It wasn\u2019t rare for me to be having breakdowns or considering suicide, so eventually I got myself a therapist.  However I felt she wasn\u2019t of much use, and I just couldn\u2019t bring myself to share my intimate details with anyone, not even my therapist so I stopped going after about two months.  \n\nI had my head completely stuck in my home town, just sitting around remembering my old friends and I was beyond excited to return.  However my lack of socializing for so long had changed me, and I know it has.  I have become a mean, awkward and unsociable person, during my time back home for the summer I managed to lose three of my major friends.  \n\nThis year I decided to get an apartment off campus to get away from all the noise.  I have a room mate but I honestly don\u2019t really like him, all he ever talks about is video games for which I couldn\u2019t care less about.  This year it seems I have literally no friends, now not only am I a 20 year old who has never as much as kissed a girl, but I am without a single friend in the world.\n\nI am an analytical person who likes to talk about culture, modern music and world events etc. but I haven\u2019t ever seemed to meet anyone in real life who cares about such things.  It makes me feel isolated.  I am deadly afraid of drinking and drugs, like literally afraid.  It is also a huge factor in everybody ignoring me on my dorm floor last year, I was on a crazy party floor and I could never join them.   Any time I have ever been to a party just being around so many people makes me feel nauseas and all I can think about is how much I want to leave.  Even in public, I hate being looked at or near people it just makes me feel so uncomfortable I just want to leave.  However here at home I am extremely lonely and I really miss all the fun time me and my friends had back home.    I have a job where many of my coworkers pick on me or look down on me, and due to my heavy homework load have no time to join any clubs otherwise.  \n\nEvery time I try talking to people I end up saying weird things, or just nothing at all.  In many situations I freeze up, and I can\u2019t even bring myself to look at or talk to people now adays.  Every day I wonder why I even bother.  I tried learning social skills again via reading books and watching videos, over the course of time I have probably read over 20 self help books and read hundreds of articles but I still can\u2019t get any of this down.   \n\nI really don\u2019t know where to go from here,  I have nobody and even just thinking of trying to talk to people or party makes me feel sick.  I am tired of being alone, and being an unpleasant person but I just don\u2019t know what to do anymore.\n", "post_id": "10uj7s", "comment_id": "c6gtit4"}, {"question": "Take him to see a general practitioner. It's easier to get an appointment with a specialist with a referral. ", "comment": "So my boyfriend has been having problems with visual hallucinations and anxiety. He's been dealing with this for about 2-3 years now. He said he first started experiencing the symptoms after practicing deep meditation. He's stopped meditating since then,\n\nThe visual hallucinations are primarily flashing and dancing lights. Very bright lights, similar to what you'd experience on peyote. He also sometimes sees walls and ceilings 'breathing', and whenever he focuses on anything, like stuff with patterns or textures, he sees particles moving around/swirling on the surface. Similar to when you look through a chainlink fence for a while and it messes with your vision.\n\nHe also gets imprints in his vision constantly and they last for a very long time. (You know how you stare at something like a lightbulb, look away, and still see it for a minute? It's like that, but the imprint lasts for much much longer and impairs his vision.)\n\nThe lights occur the worst at night when he's trying to sleep. He also sees trails of light and tracers constantly that aren't there.\n\nWhen he experiences these, he often feels a strong sense of dread or terror. Very ominous. This causes a lot of anxiety for him, so sleeping has become very hard for him to do.\n\nHe doesn't drink or do drugs, but the hallucinations and anxiety can get so bad that he's had to take xanax several times just to function. It's very very difficult for him to work or go out and do things without these problems bothering him.\n\nI'm very concerned for him and we're trying to get him to see a neurologist, but it is very expensive and may take a while to get him in to see one. Does anyone know if these symptoms are connected to any specific disorder/Have you experienced such symptoms? I appreciate any answers I can get.\n\nThanks reddit!\n\nEDIT: Not entirely sure why this is getting downvoted? Did I post this in the wrong place? I'm just asking for help. :/", "post_id": "1zs6hv", "comment_id": "cfwnopg"}, {"question": "children are best off with, in this order:\n1-happy parents that live together\n2-happy parents that don't live together\n3-unhappy parents", "comment": "Me and my wife have 2 kids and she's 4 months pregnant with our 3rd child. Our marriage has been good and bad for 7 years but it's been more bad than good since we had kids. She admits that resents me cause I made her move from home to where I'm from for work. She never wants to go to family functions even though shell sometimes come last minute after we argue. I'd say she does this fake not coming 8/10 times and comes to 45% of functions. \n\nShe told me she wants to separate during our last fight, she said she hated me a few weeks ago and didn't say sorry for 2 days, she's been threatening to leave me for months. \n\nNow I'm wondering if this is legit problem or if I can blame it on pregnancy. Our marriage wasn't good before but now it's like divorce level bad. \n\nHonestly without kids I'd be gone yesterday, but I love my kids and now she's pregnant with a 3rd. The only thing that makes me think divorce is okay is because our home isn't a good environment. It's not even fighting in front of the kids it's just the general mood and both of our snappiness to the kids. We also have a dead bed. Not sexless but passionless choir like sex a couple times a week. \n\n", "post_id": "6peb0q", "comment_id": "dkovy6t"}, {"question": "Chronic Lyme disease is not a medically recognized disease. It is not real. Congenital Lyme is possible, but it\u2019s extremely rare and usually diagnosed by the same quacks who diagnose chronic Lyme. Those quacks may be MDs, but they\u2019re still not practicing standard medicine. Various MTHFR alleles are real but have no recognized clinical significance.\n\nUsually being immunocompromised is extra reason to get vaccinated. You want all the immunity you can get! There are cases where it\u2019s futile and some vaccines with live viruses where it is riskier, but plenty of vaccines are recommended.\n\nIn short, no, this story doesn\u2019t make sense and the child should get vaccines. But various types of pseudo-medicine often go together, and opposition to vaccines, chronic Lyme, MTHFR, and crystals can all fall under that umbrella.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "a0oh9k", "comment_id": "eaj87in"}, {"question": "ask her.", "comment": "I [18/M] was Hanging with a friend when he started a live video in Instagram, and the next day, this girl [18/F] said that i was cute, so i see who she is and i decide to talk to her on phone cause friend was talking to her about me already, and it went well, next day we chill as a group with other homies, and she is really quiet. that night she calls friend and wants to know what i thought of her. i said that i thought she was cute and that i liked her, so friend tells her this. she says that she likes me too. the next day her and i hang out alone and we hung out which was chill but she didn't even hint at the fact that she knew and wasn't like flirty at all. she did however talk about how she was never awkward but she was today for some reason. so i can gaurentee i fucked up there. anyways she went to her parents house after a while cause family had a BBQ they wanted her to go to. i talk about my time to other homies unbeknownst to the situation and they give me shit because nudes of her got leaked a while ago and they thought she had an \"ugly ass motherfucking pussy.\" anyways i honestly don't know what the fuck to do. i was gonna ignore asshole homies and keep doing my thing, but how do i make progress with girl.", "post_id": "6lbriz", "comment_id": "djssmla"}, {"question": "You can only be you. People either love us for us, or they don't. And don't forget, they are the exes!", "comment": "I'll meet great guys or we will plan for a date and then I look them up on social media and their past is right in my face. Beautiful ex girlfriends who they've gone on awesome trips with. And then looking even further there is still communication between the two people. How can I tell it's over between them? ", "post_id": "68gy7a", "comment_id": "dgyd1y6"}, {"question": "This is a really great and well told story. Gave me chills. Thank you for sharing! And great job by the way!!!", "comment": "We just got to our seats at the concert, my husband and in-laws get settled as the show begins. Seconds later, a few of my friends stumble to their seats behind us, and one friend hands me a drink and all I hear is \u201chere\u2019s a sparkling water.\u201d \n\nI take a sip and it was a vodka club (which we used to call \u201c[my name] water\u201d as a joke -yikes, you know you have a problem when...) but he also didn\u2019t know I\u2019m not drinking anymore, and this would usually be a wonderful gift for me... so honest mistake.   \n\nAs the sip went down, a quick flash of justifications why it was ok to take another sip wash over me, BUT at that EXACT INSTANT I look at the Jumbotron monitors and the images with the song playing show a woman crying inside her car while parked at a liquor store, as she\u2019s eyeing her AA chip. \n\nBOOM. It hit me like a brick wall. NO! NO! NO! I started welling up with tears as the video played, subtly showing other images of addiction... \n\nI handed the drink back to my friend (who somehow sucked his down already) and told him I shouldn\u2019t around the in-laws.  \n\nThe instant I handed the drink back, it was like a spiritual moment where the notes rang sweeter, the words went deeper, the colors brighter. After a few songs, the artist spoke very candidly about his struggles with addition and asking for help. It was like he was speaking directly to me. Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to conceal my emotions.\n\nThank you, Sir Elton John, for being my white knight. You saved me last night. \n\n\u201cSo goodbye yellow brick road\nWhere the dogs of society howl\nYou can't plant me in your penthouse\nI'm going back to my plough\u201d \n\nI will not drink with you today.", "post_id": "dtxh9u", "comment_id": "f71rc27"}, {"question": "if she is asking for space, respect that", "comment": "This girl and i have talked for over a year and we shouldve been dating but i was an idiot about it and never asked her.  We are currently in the no contact rule for the past 3 days up until the 31st of january.  I asked if i could text her then and she said \"i guess so\".  Its hard for me rn so i was thinking if i should break it and try to talk to her.  I really want this thing to workout so i can officially be with her.  Also, i was thinking of sending a pizza to her house before texting her back just to see if she texts first.  Please help!! thanks!", "post_id": "5of5xg", "comment_id": "dcivsif"}, {"question": "This is going to sound kind of fucked up... But it might be an indication that your relationship wasn't meeting your needs. I am fully a proponent of owning your own shit and not being an asshole when it comes to having bpd. I hate to say it but we usually cause a lot of our own problems. But if you felt lonely in your relationship it might indicate you weren't getting enough attention?", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "dpmgzp", "comment_id": "f5wngp2"}, {"question": "I feel like it\u2019s 100% prescriber preference.", "comment": "I've been on generic Ritalin for about a month now, and I'm not a huge fan. Don't get me wrong, it is incredible to be able to get 2 hours of work done in 2 hours, vs 15 minutes of work in 2 hours. But the crashes are awful and it doesn't help with anything else.\n\nMy psychiatrist just put me on concerta, which, as far as I understand, is the same as Ritalin since they both use Methylphenidate (and concerta lasts longer.) However, it's brand-name concerta vs generic ritalin, so it might make me feel different? Not sure. Concerta is a hell of a lot cheaper though, which is a major plus.\n\nI want to go on Adderall, since I know it works marvelously for me. It truly is that \"glasses for my brain\" that I've heard others talk about. I can actually focus on 1 thought at a time, it calms me down and reduces my anxiety immensely, I can listen to people talk so much more easily, I stop fidgeting and can actually sit still, and, most importantly, I just feel normal.  \n\nThe only problem is that my psychiatrist said she doesn't like prescribing adderall because it has a higher chance of psychosis and triggering anxiety/depression. I totally respect her, and I like her a lot, but damn it. I just want to be on a different medication.", "post_id": "emu6ca", "comment_id": "fdr25zs"}, {"question": "I hear ya. I have three boys aged 2 , 5 and 6. Between fighting, breaking everything and eating constantly they have me worn out....however as you say its not a good reason to drink ( what is !).  Imagine these situations with a hangover !! ", "comment": "My two kids are 3 and 4yrs old. One girl. One boy. They currently want to just play fight constantly, the boy actually ended up with a blood nose today as the sister just ain't taking any of his crap (lol, a body slam with a t rex costume on is vicious no matter what age)\n\nSaying \"noooo stop that\" 500 times a day usually would make me just go nope... Screw it... I'm getting drunk as soon as you both go to sleep. But I spent the evening reading the news and generally not screwing my life up any further.\n\nIWNDWYT", "post_id": "95l48r", "comment_id": "e3tknuv"}, {"question": "You don\u2019t need to say anything to her unless she asks you out, in which case a simple \u201cthanks, but I can\u2019t,\u201d will suffice.  If you want to tell her you\u2019re leaving: \u201cjust wanted to let you know I\u2019m leaving the country for the foreseeable future. It\u2019s been nice getting to know you!\u201d will work. \n\nPlease spare her the monologue you\u2019ve drafted in your head and go tell it to a therapist. ", "comment": "So I\u2019m 38 and this woman is probably no older than 25. She works the window at a sandwich shop I get food from occasionally. I used to go there a lot and my dog would sit on my lap in the driver\u2019s seat until she passed away. Everyone got to know me as the dude with the pug. \n\nOne girl has always been ULTRA friendly to me. Nothing creepy, just saying things like, \u201comg it\u2019s so nice to see you again\u201d when any other customer would probably just get a \u201chere is your food\u201d. \nI\u2019ve also seen her driving around town in the delivery vehicle for the shop and she always beams with excitement and waves at me when she sees me. Like that little kid from the .gif who realized his dad was the one driving the train. \n\nShe\u2019s very attractive, bubbly, cute, and is probably a comic book nerd, I don\u2019t know why I assume this because I\u2019ve only ever seen her in her uniform, but I bet she plays more video games than the entire cast of the Big Bang Theory. \n\nI am flattered and it\u2019s nice to know that someone thinks you\u2019re attractive or whatever, but I really am an awful person that really should not be in a relationship with anyone. I\u2019m not abusive or anything, I\u2019m just severely depressed, can\u2019t handle when people show me empathy, and have a terminal illness. I\u2019m leaving the country in about a month and would like to still get sandwiches and maybe chat her up and let her know that if I am interpreting her signals correctly, that I\u2019m flattered but unfortunately I am leaving so we couldn\u2019t pursue anything. I\u2019m not interested in just a physical thing because emotions always end up getting involved in those situations anyway. \n\nSo how do I approach this? I\u2019d hate to leave the country for ever and have this woman thinking \u201cwhere did he go?\u201d I\u2019d also like to tell her I\u2019m flattered if I\u2019m correct in my assumptions, but that she could do WAY better than me and that if the circumstances were different I.e. I didn\u2019t have a brain tumor or wasn\u2019t clinically depressed, that I would at least go on a date to see if we had anything in common. \n\nI\u2019m no good at talking to people let alone communicating with someone I\u2019m in a relationship with. \n\nThanks for any advice. I really don\u2019t want to just vanish on her because I can tell that on days that I do stop in, she makes an effort to be the one who helps me, and she does light up which is actually quite beautiful. ", "post_id": "7vmza2", "comment_id": "dtthm6z"}, {"question": "I got sober at 17 years old. It's possible. You don't have to come here and qualify yourself with every drug you've ever experienced. I guarantee you everyone here has done at least one of things you did once. The thing is that's not what counts here, what counts is the action you're taking to make a change.", "comment": "I am not a happy camper.\n\nI'm 16, don't automatically dismiss what I'm saying because of it please. It may be worth noting that I have Asperger's, Clinical Depression, and Social Anxiety Disorder. None of those are self-diagnosed. I started doing drugs about a year and a half ago. August or September of 2012.\n\nIn the summer of 2012 I changed my religious beliefs. I was once in a Christian religion that prohibited the use of recreational drugs, and I never questioned *why* they did. But that summer I became agnostic, and one day shortly thereafter I discovered /r/drugs. I started reading the AMA's and shit and I realized \"I don't have to follow my religion's rules anymore, I can actually experiment with these substances\".\n\nBut I live in a suburb in Georgia right outside of Metro Atlanta. Ain't no drugs here. Everybody at my school smokes weed, and there's MDMA all over the place (but I can't try it because Zoloft), I've heard there's a fair amount of LSD around here, but I've never been able to get a connect.\n\nI found out that a drug my parents take for their Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS), gabapentin (Neurontin), can be used recreationally. The recommended dose for their RLS is 300mg, but I tried taking 1200mg and it was wonderful. That was my first drug experience.\n\nThen I tried Valium. Then my mom got a script for Percocet after her surgery and she never used them, so I did. I just told her I sold them instead of telling her I got high off of them. This was around December '12/January '13. I was also still abusing the gabapentin occasionally then.\n\nI eventually got to try some other stuff. Fioricet didn't do anything but make me sleepy, but Fioricet with Codeine was excellent. Promethazine wasn't all too good for much, but I enjoyed the heavily sedating feeling of it (and of the recommended doses of DPH). I tried temazepam a few times, didn't really like it. One time I took 45 mg of temazepam, drunk a Jack and Coke, huffed some nail polish remover, went over to this house my sister was house sitting at. She showed me all of the homeowner's liquor. I did a shot of Irish whiskey (HOT LIKE FIYAH) and downed two miniature bottles of gin. I barely felt anything.\n\nI eventually started abusing the gabapentin more regularly, three or four times a week, sometimes more rarely less. I tried meth. It was awesome, it was like I was king for a day. I had so much energy, I was so happy, I was so confident. My mouth was dry as fuck though. I actually did my work that day, and I never do my work at school. I felt so in control. Came down on the school bus on the way home. It may have been the worst I have ever felt. Strong nausea, very bad headache, mild somnolence, anger. I felt this gigantic desire to do more and experience that feeling again. It was kind of scary. That was on December 2, 2013 and I haven't touched the stuff since.\n\nI also started smoking cigarettes, but quit about three months later. I started smoking marijuana fairly regularly, but I haven't smoked any in about a month now.\n\nI started using DPH, Benadryl, for it's high-dose-dependent delirious qualities that I found rather desirable. I've been using it a lot ever since I first tried it. I love it. I'm on it right now, but I'm kind of coming down I guess you could say. I've come down enough to where I can actually read and type, and I'm not seeing any bugs, but I still have a little of the internal feeling DPH gives me left. My dose is around 600mg. It makes me feel like I assume PCP makes people feel. Staggering drunk, like I weigh a thousand pounds, I can't walk right. If I stare at a spot on the carpet too long it becomes a spider. I feel the dissociation that most people get from PCP or ketamine. I see colorless patterns on everything. Inanimate objects look like their breathing. I can see all kinds of colors when I close my eyes. All text is blurry. (This is what the peak of the trip is like). It lasts the whole day long. I absolutely love it.\n\nI can't imagine not getting high every other day. That's like...the main thing I look forward to in life. I would really like to make drugs a more occasional thing. But I don't know how to. Part of me wants to stop, part of me wants to keep using, and I'm not sure which part is stronger. What can I do?\n\nPS: Yeah, I know, DPH is *such* a high school drug. How cliche of me. But I really love the feeling it gives me, and it's way more accessible then DMT or heroin or all the other things I can't get my hands on. Also, I'm no longer Agnostic, just someone who believes in God and the Bible.", "post_id": "1xr9sz", "comment_id": "cfe3m9z"}, {"question": "He's always half completely right and half completely wrong. His ideas are sound at first but his application isn't what evidence or personal experience show to be accurate. \n\nYes you can't run from anxiety and expect it to decrease the next time. No, believing you aren't that important isn't going to decrease social anxiety. It will increase it.", "comment": "See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ze9mfIBn62E\n\nThe title is \"Zeminar Presents Harry Barry | **Banish Panic Attacks for Life**\"\n\nIt is counter-inituitive and might sound offensive at first, but he's a well-known expert.\n\nThis is his other video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Un_Ykh9y9Q", "post_id": "ezmuef", "comment_id": "fgpjk2r"}, {"question": "If you know what the problem is- then that is a good place to start the talking. Just go in there and say whatever it is, just as you would say it to yourself.", "comment": "Dear reddit,\n\nI just create an account to get some help here. I have the diagnosis of depression for over 10 years now. And I failed 2 therapies. I want desperately want to start a new one, but I am really afraid I will fail again.\n\nThe problem is, I know where the problem is. I know, I cannot get out of this alone - but I don't know, what I should talk to someone about. I am feeling depressed, this interferes with my work, with my private life, with my family, with my SO. \n\nHas anyone experiences something similar and can you give me any advice how to get out of this? Please??\n\nTomorrow I will call a therapist and see if I can get a free slot soon, I need it. But I don't know, what to talk... ah, I guess I'm repeating myself...\n\nPlease, dear unlimited community. Help me with advice. I desperately need it :( Thanks\n\nEDIT: Also, I am just deeply frustrated with myself. I WANT to be different. I NEED to be different. I HAVE to be different. I just don't want to be me anymore. I also don't want to die, since I fear about death in general.", "post_id": "1f5bnd", "comment_id": "ca72tro"}, {"question": "What does the urine smell like exactly? Do you know your weight changes in detail? What have you changed to your eating?", "comment": "I smoke cigarettes, try to eat healthy, exercise 1-2 times a week.\nIm around 135 pounds 6 feet and ive been losing weight even if im hungry and thristy a lot. Ive already been tested for diabetes around november and it came back negative. Also since the begging of may ive been trying to eat healthier and just drinking water instead of diet pepsi and coffee. My pee started smelling bad around 1 week ago. I also get tired after I eat (but i think more than likey its cause of me eating fast and a lot)", "post_id": "gs9d0u", "comment_id": "fs3woph"}, {"question": "Don't have a coffee first dose. I have had to quit all caffeine as it makes my meds completely ineffective. It sucks. I miss it. Try the meds without it then slowly introduce it and notice it's effects.", "comment": "I always have coffee in the morning. It doesn\u2019t do squat for me, I could have a cup and go right back to bed. I just like the warm familiarity. I\u2019m taking my first dose of Adderall XR 30 in the morning and I think I should follow my routine and have coffee, but my spouse thinks it\u2019s too many stimulants at once. Thoughts?\n\nEdit: thanks all for the answers! I will do caffeine-free tea instead.", "post_id": "bbv211", "comment_id": "ekltnol"}, {"question": "Well for starters, I'd just like to say I don't believe in the concept of \"normal\".  \n\nThat being said, many people change their name or go by a nickname for a vast number of reasons.  \n\n\nI work at an agency that works exclusively with LGBTQ+ folks.  Most trans folks I've worked with end up changing their name or modifying it at some point during their transition as their dead name may be too masculine or feminine and not fit with their current gender expression.  There are plenty of other reasons for these folks too I won't get in to. \n\n\nOthers like to go by a nickname or change their name because a name is something that's very important to identity.  Oddly enough, most of us have this piece of us that is a big part of our identity but it isn't something we ourselves decided.  Renaming yourself can be a way of feeling like you're taking some power back over your own life and identity.  \n\n\nFor others, you may simply just not like your name and for whatever reason, don't want to be called that.  \n\n\nAt the end of the day, you always have the right to let people know how you want to be addressed for whatever reason.   They may or may not go along with it (especially folks who knew you for a long time by your old name) but you always have the right to express this.  \n\n\nKeep in mind, you also have the right to change your mind at any time.  You could try a name, decide you don't like it, and go back to your old one or try another.  It's up to you.", "comment": "For a while now I\u2019ve had the urge to go by a completely different name. Technically, it\u2019s a shortened version of my name, but definitely not a common way to shorten that name (I don\u2019t know if there is ANY common shortening of my name). I\u2019m a cis female but the shortened version is gender neutral (more common in men though). \n\nMaybe I\u2019m just tired of being who I am? I also get the urge to run away to the middle of nowhere, change my name, go off the grid, never talk to anyone in my life again, but I know it\u2019s an absurd urge so I don\u2019t pay attention to it. \nI don\u2019t know if I should follow through with this new name urge though. I\u2019m moving to a different state soon which means I\u2019ll have to make a new friend group and it\u2019ll be easier then because nobody would remember my old name.  I\u2019m just worried that maybe I\u2019m placing too much weight on the name- I can\u2019t actually change myself overnight, and I know this, but maybe my brain is convinced that I can run away from all the problems I had as [Full name]. I don\u2019t want to bury my problems and do harm to myself by going through with this...", "post_id": "erw9g5", "comment_id": "ff6t61c"}, {"question": "Go home. Get help. Never have sex with her again. ", "comment": "We had been together for two years, shared an apartment for a year, attend the same university, and travel often together. She has a history of abuse and mental illness that she has never fully explained. I am free of mental illness, but stupid. \n\nWe'd discussed no longer living together when our lease was up, but never breaking up, except during certain particularly bad fights which I think were because of her depression. We spent nearly every day of the last two years together, to the point where we often said the same thing and ordered the same items at restaurants. \n\nShe woke up 4 days ago, a few days into a summer-long trip to Nepal and Thailand and told me she felt being together was what made her so unhappy, and that she wanted to end it. We tried staying together for the day as friends, but ended up getting in a physical fight where she hit me again and again in the face, telling me to hit her.  Eventually I did. This has never happened before. \n\nShe left the next morning - we didn't speak again. I haven't seen or spoken to her since then. I have never hit anyone before. Her mother tells me she has a fractured rib. I am only coping with the help of some lorazepam a doctor here was kind enough to give me. \n\nHow do I recover from this? I want to die. Whenever the pills wear off I stop being able to function. I am alone in Nepal and I can't stop thinking about what I did. ", "post_id": "6f15l2", "comment_id": "dielks3"}, {"question": "How are you coping without alcohol so far?", "comment": "Former heavy drinker, male, 22. \nJust really paranoid that my eyes may have some yellowing. Sober for almost 3 weeks. Bilirubin levels were normal in last liver test.\n\nThank you for your time. ( Link below)\nhttp://imgur.com/no4QQnE", "post_id": "6rfi9z", "comment_id": "dl5c705"}, {"question": "Hi. Have a look at \"Panic Stations\" resource at Centre for Clinical intervenrions website, or others on same site such as \"What me worry\". They are good Cbt based, self-help manuals for anxiety. Iwndwyt.  ", "comment": "I drank to mask horrible anxiety. I got to the point where I literally couldn\u2019t go to work sober without major anxiety/withdrawals. I ended up in the ER twice because my blood pressure was going haywire. I eventually quit my job and have taken the time to get sober. \n\nIt\u2019s been great, my anxiety is almost completely gone after almost 2 months sober. I\u2019ve gotten my blood pressure under control. That being said, I haven\u2019t been doing a damn thing. Anxiety is at a 1 out of 10 for being unemployed at my parents\u2019. I have finally started getting some interviews, I\u2019ve gone to a couple with very little anxiety but on other days I just can\u2019t. My anxiety mounts and it\u2019s the only time I feel close to a relapse. I just cancel or no-show. \n\nI have taken baby steps and I\u2019m in a way better place sober. I used to only leave the house if I absolutely had to (drunk). I couldn\u2019t even sit still at my desk or focus. A lot of that was due to anxiety within withdrawals. Now I can run errands etc sober and almost even enjoy it. But certain days that fight or flight just hits and I know I\u2019m either not going anywhere or I \u201cneed\u201d to get drunk to cope. I had this tendency in the past, getting nauseatingly nervous to do something as simple as go to work or the post office. I learned to mostly squash it in order to be functional.  I tried a shrink on a whim which lead to SSRIs which lead to my worst drinking then my new sobriety and here I am. \n\nThis isn\u2019t conducive to being productive in the work force. I\u2019m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences or has any advice. \n\nTL; DR\n\nAnxiety is manageable sober around the house but I get panic attacks when I have obligations. ", "post_id": "94cson", "comment_id": "e3k9brz"}, {"question": "there's no easy answer for grief and loss. it takes time as you know.  you might not be ready yet for a new relationship.  make sure you're totally over the ex before starting anew. most of life is timing.", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nA couple of months ago i found out I was cheated on by my girlfriend at the time (obviously now ex). It hit me incredibly hard as we were dating for almost 4 years and I truly loved the girl. I like to think of my self as a very confident man but, admittedly, my confidence has taken a hit since then. I am fine for a couple of days but, out of nowhere, I begin thinking of my ex and I just get horribly depressed. \n\n\nI have found a new girl whom I am very interested in and we have great chemistry. She is definitely a girl I can see myself with. However, sometimes I start thinking of ex and I really just don't know what to do. I have never been through a break up of this caliber before in my life. All in all, i just need some advice on how to cope. \n\n\ntl;dr - girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me and we had a rough break up a couple of months ago. Need some advice on coping ", "post_id": "5o2m7f", "comment_id": "dcg6df8"}, {"question": "Ideally I would say you should see a psychiatrist who practices psychotherapy, but those can be difficult to find. You can start with either a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Without more details it\u2019s hard to say whether medication is likely to be very effective, but therapy does sound like it would be useful to you. (My bias is that therapy is useful, though not necessary, for just about everyone.)", "comment": "I am a 19 year old Hispanic male who is 5\u20195\u201d and these problems I\u2019ve been putting aside.These problems has been going on for 3 years now ever since I got my 1st job and lost time to hangout with my only friends resulting in isolation.Now I have no friends.What type of doctor should I see based on my problems below?\n\nThese problems I\u2019ve been putting aside for 3 years now.**Should I see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist for these problems?**\n\n\u2022Low self esteem\n\u2022Self hate(Personality and looks)\n\u2022Thinks everybody hates me(mostly girls)\n\u2022Masturbate to girls showing their midriff\n\u2022Don\u2019t want to be old\n\u2022Hate certain people(,ugly)\n\u2022Rage and Nothingness feeling \n\u2022Used to diagnose myself\n\u2022Lost interest in things I used to have interest due to no time for myself cuz work\n\u2022No motivation to do anything but I force myself \n\u2022Trouble Making/keeping eye contact with people\n\u2022Feel little to no sympathy for others who get hurt(aka it doesn\u2019t shock or get my attention,it\u2019s like I\u2019m used to seeing it)\n\u2022I don\u2019t want to be alone yet I don\u2019t want to try talking to people \n\u2022Nothing excites me anymore \n\u2022I hate people who smile at me\n\u2022I can\u2019t smile anymore \n\u2022I don\u2019t like listening to people/I rather have short talk but I hate conversations\n\u2022I don\u2019t What I want to do in life or why I\u2019m alive for", "post_id": "bm36od", "comment_id": "emtltu5"}, {"question": "You beat me to it - yes it sounds like hypnopompic hallucinations, which are normal.", "comment": "I'm 21, male. It started a year ago.\nI would wake up in the morning or the middle of the night and think that clothes on chairs or couches were people. They were mostly speeping to and as I was sleepy I'd just get back to sleep without reacting. It rarely happened but then started happening more often. Lately it happens once every two weeks or so. Yesterday I woke up from a nap and thought a friend was there and talking and I was naked so I rolled into a blanket and today a similar situation happened. Sometimes I wake up during the night because I hear people talking in the other room and I'm annoyed but then just go back to sleep.\nI think it's because I still have the dreaming process happening after waking up so I hallucinate. Maybe my brain produces more DMT?\nI'm not worried about it, I just find it very interesting and I'm pretty sure it's not normal so I'd like to know more.\nEdit: Looks like I have a condition(?) called hypnopompic hallucinations. Fun times!", "post_id": "6jvf2a", "comment_id": "djhcmxb"}, {"question": "This is purely a cultural thing.  My family are big hug/cheek kissers.  For what it's worth, Irish-American family living in Northeastern United States.  \n\nMy wife was completely shocked and felt extremely awkward by this the first time she came to a family party and was greeted this way.  \n\nHer family, (German-Polish-American from Mid-West USA) took a long time to warm up to me even trying to give them a hug when greeting or saying goodbye.\n\nDescribing heritage and location certainly is not completely a coverall, as each of our families could be anomalies instead of fairly representative.\n\nThere's really no right or wrong way.  It's just about what you feel comfortable with.  I think if you want the other person to feel comfortable it's helpful to try to mirror what they do.  If you're not comfortable with it, just do what you're comfortable with.\n", "comment": "Aight so I\u2019m 14 and at the age where people don\u2019t really just hug you anymore, and I don\u2019t really have a problem with that. But I have no clue how the kiss hug thing works, I know this is an extremely stupid question, but could someone give me a full proof explanation on how to do it? (I\u2019m not socially awkward but I dread doing the whole greeting thing when meeting up with family friends etc.) \n\nThis has led to some cringe-worthy introductions in the past which made some events kinda awkward for me, once again hope this question doesn\u2019t make you lose brain cells, thanks in advance :)\n\nUPDATE: thanks for all these suggestions and tips guys, I\u2019ll be a master at embracing grandmas before you know it!", "post_id": "9p88tr", "comment_id": "e7zvktd"}, {"question": ">will having scars affect my work?\n\nI'm willing to bet it will help your work greatly. Unfortunately, it may make it difficult to get into graduate school. But honestly, I'd recommend staying away from a training program that is scared by people with lived experiences of struggles.\n\n>would it be inappropriate to show them/should i hide them on the job?\n\nDepends on the job; in the work I do (with suicidal and depressed teens) I think it would help a great deal to not hide them (not flaunt them but not be ashamed of them).\n\n>what should i say if a client asks me about them?\n\nIMO, the truth.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "dzhh2x", "comment_id": "f88hz8p"}, {"question": "/r/psychotherapy has a list of users willing to be interviewed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/psychotherapy/wiki/faq", "comment": "Hi I\u2019m new to Reddit, so please excuse me if I don\u2019t properly format. I\u2019m a 21 yo F psych student who, for a final project in one of my classes, needs to interview someone currently working in the psych field. Someone said they found their interviewee through here so I thought I\u2019d try too. I was going to interview someone on campus before the pandemic broke out. If any serious therapists or psychologists can offer me any help it\u2019d be much appreciated!", "post_id": "fsbres", "comment_id": "fm1aiwu"}, {"question": "Take a deep breath. You need to explain to HR that you had to miss your flight. Be honest, but leave out the personal details. I would just say that you had a family emergency, you are fine, but you either a) may have to reschedule and catch a different flight, or b) will not be able to fly out, and ask for a phone or video-call interview. If you are able to call them instead of emailing, that may be preferable as it is more urgent and time-sensitive.\n\nThen, evaluate your options. Would you be able to stay in a motel/hotel/airbnb for a few days while you interview? Are you prepared to find an apartment or other living situation close to the job you're interviewing for, on relatively short notice?\n\nRegardless, do not let this opportunity slip by. If the interview goes well, you may be able to get the company to assist you in finding an apartment if you explain that your family emergency is threatening your living situation.", "comment": "I'm the child of a narcissistic single mother. I have dealt with a lot of hardships throughout my life because of her. She yells frequently. She is irrational. She literally thinks that I was born to serve her.\n\nShe once made me homeless because I turned on the air conditioning in the summer heat when she didn't want it on. But I'm not here to talk about that.\n\nI am now 26 years old and I finally graduated with a B.S. in Computer Science this past January. Programming is my passion. My grades are great, but it took a little longer than usual to get my degree, largely due to my circumstances.\n\nSince I graduated, I was forced to move out of my dorm and back in with my mother. I have been applying to jobs, and trying to escape. It hasn't been easy to get to the final round interviews.\n\nA top tier company (think google-level competitive) gave me an opportunity for a final interview. I was suppose to catch the flight today for that interview. However, I made the mistake of telling my mother about it, and she objected. She said I would not be allowed back in the house if I went for that interview. Her reasoning was, I could catch the coronavirus from traveling, and if I returned home I would infect her. Part of me thinks she did this to prevent me from becoming independent. Being homeless is absolutely hell and I can't do that again, so I gave up a once in a life time opportunity.\n\nI have to write an email to HR saying why I couldn't make the interview. I don't know what to do.", "post_id": "fb0hr9", "comment_id": "fj1nbp7"}, {"question": "I\u2019m so sorry you\u2019re dealing with that. It sounds incredibly isolating and it\u2019s awful to have people you think are friends invalidating your sexuality!! Especially when it\u2019s people who would be up in arms if done to them! They are probably supportive of pan sexual folks and other LGBTQ+ orientations which is even more frustrating.  It\u2019s so difficult when you\u2019re bi to feel accepted by some in the straight, queer, lesbian, and gay communities because people think some how you just haven\u2019t decided to admit/ you\u2019re just in denial of being fully gay. This issue is bi erasure - the invisibility of bisexuality and for some the belief that it doesn\u2019t exist.  Some unfortunate stereotypes are that bi people are more likely to cheat because there are more options (which is absolutely BS). In terms of women not being comfortable with bisexual males, it\u2019s often linked to unconscious homophobia. They might be allies for gay and lesbian folks, however, they have this negative reaction when thinking their love interest might like to have sexual experiences with men.  A good Reddit sub if you\u2019re not already joined to it is r/lgbt. There\u2019s a good crop of fellow bi folks on there. Hang in there friend and stay strong in your convictions. There\u2019s nothing wrong with you, there\u2019s something wrong in the world. <3 I\u2019m here to chat if you need to.", "comment": "I'm a 36 year old bisexual man with depression and anxiety. Ever since coming out last year i've become increasingly lonely and isolation. I don't feel like i belong in the straight world but i don't feel welcome in my local queer cominity because bi's are often treated like we're not \"really\" queer and there are few to no bi's in my community. My romantic relationships have become non existant.  Straight women avoid me like the plague and gay men intimidate me and both are often dissmissive of my sexuality. I'm dirt poor and lately i'm one step away from homelessness. I don't have any prospects or possibilities for things to change in the future. I've been to multiple therapists and none of them have been able to help me. My suicidal ideation has returned and whereas i was previously able to think my way beyond it, i can't see any logical response to it. I don't know what to do", "post_id": "fuvykh", "comment_id": "fmf2141"}, {"question": "Well, it's not a panic attack if you're not panicked.  Could be medical.  From a psychological standpoint, it sounds more like some of the symptoms of depersonalization/derealization.  Not saying you have this disorder, but the feelings you describe are more in line with these than with panic attacks.", "comment": "The basic symptoms of my problem are these: when I don't move my limbs very much they start to feel out of my control... as if they're falling off my body. They start to feel much more inflated than they actually are so that if I'm holding an object in my hands at the time it feels much smaller than it actually is. Mentally I feel as if I'm leaving my body entirely. These symptoms generally get worse when I look at a computer screen, phone screen, or the lights are on. If I move my body then the symptoms tend to go. Everyone I've told about them so far has suggested that these are panic attacks.\n\nExcept that I'm typing right now while I'm allegedly having a panic attack. I don't feel panicked at all. I feel quite calm. If I had to assign myself a negative emotion then I'd say that I'm irritated. Just slightly annoyed. Confused about why it is that this is occurring. I've checked my pulse and it's normal. My breathing is normal. I'm not sweating profusely. I could say that I do have a bit of a hot tingly sensation through out my body.\n\nAbout three months ago I had heart palpitations induced by marijuana consumption. I've had on and off palpitations since then. I have what the doctors have called benign arrhythmia, but the doctors are seeing me about that because it causes dizziness and blurred vision. Neither of which appear to be relevant to these other symptoms.\n\n6 foot, 75 kg, white, ", "post_id": "3i7swz", "comment_id": "cue2qic"}, {"question": "find a therapist; it will help", "comment": "Hi r/relationship_advice. First time posting here, still really new to reddit in general (3 weeks-ish). I'll try to keep this short.\n\n2016 absolutely wrecked me. I feel like I went from having it all to having basically nothing (and I've been homeless before. 2014 still wasn't this bad in comparison). A relationship of mine [19/F] became untenable after a year back in April, because I realized the person did not appreciate anything I did for them and they would rather yell at me when other people fell through instead of accepting my advice and help. I learned in the process that it is not a good idea to date someone who you act as a mentor figure towards.\n\nThat person then proceeded to spread lies about me on social media, yes, *that* familiar story. That would have been easy to deal with because the Internet is not my life, but I had to move shortly after that. Twice. In three months. Fairweather friends fell through, and long-time friends became distant. The online rumor mill got worse, and, long story short, I cannot go back to the websites on which I once had many friends.\n\nAnd, not that I ever really had any \"friends\" through my job, but I was also fired from my job of 7 years (for reasons I will not disclose) back in October. I got a new job two weeks later, but it's a completely different environment--I went from retail to Chipotle. I get along with my coworkers, but it feels like they have a social circle I can't get into for whatever reason.\n\nI have lived in this current position since August. The only upside to my social life is that I have a new girlfriend [20/F], someone who has remained my only regular-contact friend throughout everything. But at my age, I know it is unhealthy for a relationship when one partner has nobody else to talk to.\n\nI'm an outgoing person, really. But after the barrage of hits to my life over the past year, I'm kind of in a daze, and lately I find myself feeling heartbroken, even though I do have a loving girlfriend. It's unfamiliar to me to be in a position where I can honestly say I have no friends. I don't have a lot of money, so I can't really go out to bars, or anything like that. I kind of just... go to work, go home, and on off days, I go to the store and then go home.\n\n**tl;dr 2016 wrecked my social life. Outgoing person with no money, no car, new job, and no friends. Sad! What do?**", "post_id": "5oez0k", "comment_id": "dcitfoy"}, {"question": "Hugs. ", "comment": "I got home from school and my mom told me that my sister was in the ER bleeding from the eyes, gums, nose, etc. Apparently she had absolutely no potassium in her body and her blood wasn't clotting. She has also been tested positive for cancerous cells. I'm really worried.", "post_id": "2e89hp", "comment_id": "cjx4uks"}, {"question": "Is normal, don't worry. Try smoothies until you adjust. Force yourself to eat food. Take b12", "comment": "(Don't normally post on reddit so please forgive me if I'm unintentionally breaking etiquette or something.) \n\nSo as the title says I stopped smoking a few days ago, on the 4th of July. Before then I smoked every day for about 2 years with a few breaks once in a while. Since then I've had very low appetite and have barely been able to eat, which I expected. But I've taken breaks in the past and this time it's more extreme. Most times I've tried to eat during the past few days my mouth practically rejects the food and I involuntarily spit it back up instead of naturally swallowing it, so I have to force it down very uncomfortably. And even when I can eat I've been getting nauseous and throwing it up half the time. As a result I've had about one meal a day this week and thrown up almost every day. So far today I feel a little better and managed to eat most of a chicken sandwich without trouble but my stomach still feels kind of weird, though not nauseous yet. I'm getting worried I might possibly have an ulcer or something and I do plan on going to a doctor if this persists, but I don't know if this could just be withdrawal symptoms because I'm so used to only eating when I'm high. I'm a thinner male, 22yo, who's always had relatively low appetite and I typically smoke to help myself eat a healthy amount, so I feel it could be possible that my body just needs to get used to eating sober again. I'm obviously not coming to r/leaves for medical advice but I do want to know if anyone's ever experienced this when quitting and I figured this was the best pool of people to ask.", "post_id": "6m2dq1", "comment_id": "djydqc1"}, {"question": "Go see a therapist. You won't get in trouble. You could even ask to make sure, but you won't. ", "comment": "Hi there, To start - I'm using a throwaway account through TOR. I don't know if this is against your rules. I'm incredibly sorry if this isn't allowed here, I understand if the mods delete it. I just desperately I want to stop and change. I'm in a really bad place and would appreciate the help, This is literally killing me and I just don't know what to do.\n\nI'm 20 years old and male and I'm not located in the US, when I was about 14, I started watching porn (like any normal teenager I guess) at the same time, I began to question my own sexuality. I went looking for gay porn but was intimidated by the incredibly 'masculine' older guys in the bulk of it.\n\nI just went between watching straight porn and random gay porn for about a year. Then I found a site (a popular 'tube' site) that had a vast amount of 'amateur' material. I began to look for stuff that had people who looked more my age. This is where stuff stayed for like 2 years, fairly normal porn habits for a teenager.\n\nThen, when I was about 17 I continued to look for stuff of 'younger guys' and stumbled across a site that began to have more dubious content on it, nothing illegal - just looked a lot more like what I was into. But, things took a downward spiral when I was about 18 when I went looking for more of that. Not looking for anything in particular I went messing about on TOR. Worst mistake of my life.\n\nI stumbled across a site via some shitty link (thinking it was just a gay porn site) and fuck. Initially it was just teenage stuff, but then I found stuff containing young kids. The first time I watched that I felt so sick afterwards, I hated myself and genuinely considered suicide. I was fucked up. I stopped doing pretty much anything for about 3 weeks, and then for some reason I went back. The orgasm I experienced was like nothing I'd ever had before. For the last two years, I've been watching some of the worst things imaginable. I HATE myself. I know I'll get negative messages etc from here, but honestly I've said worse things than anything on here could say to myself. I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognise the person I've become.\n\nI've always had issues with social anxiety and being comfortable with girls/guys my own age, so I've never even had any relationships or anything. This, my declining health from eating shitty foods and doing no exercise has just made me depressed.\n\nI've always had an interest in fetish porn (voyeur, fake-rape, public etc), and I guess the thrill of it being 'wrong' turned me on more. I definitely do not have an attraction to kids. I fucking don't, I have crushes on guys my own age. It's just normal porn does nothing for me anymore. My entire mind is corrupted with this, I've become desensitized to everything and I guess my outlook on everything is just bleak.\n\nI don't even know if I'm actually gay I thought I was for a long time, but Recently I've found myself getting feelings for girls my age, which makes this whole thing even mroe fucked up.\n\nI've tried stopping so many times. I wish I could just ship off somewhere and cut myself off from the fucking internet so bad. I can't, my current job and situation demand me to have a decent laptop and internet access. I've tried locking my computer with filtering software, but horny me just bypasses that shit.\n\nI can't go to a therapist about this. Where I am they have a strict tell policy, even the vague hint about this would have my name on a list for the police immediately.\n\nEven with the anxiety and depression, I have a kinda normal life. If I didn't have this eating away at my soul everytime I close my eyes, I guess I would probably be happy. I'm not a religious person, but I find myself crying and begging that if a god does exist, why the fuck would I be doing this to myself?\n\nEverytime I hear a knock at the door I'm terrified it'll be the police. I desperately need to stop, and I just needed to tell other humans. Even if it is via an anonymous internet account. I just would appreciate any advise, wisdom or whatever.\n\nI understand that many will hate me and think I'm so far off the reservoir that I'm not worth saving - trust me, I've thought that a lot recently. I guess this is my last shot. I don't know how I can keep doing this really.\n\nI just want to understand why I'm doing this to myself and what's wrong with me. Or at least try to. I know I'm not a pedophile. I dont have an attraction towards kids. I don't see kids when I'm out and think about that. I see a guy or girl my own age and notice them. But when I'm online, it seems like that goes out the window. It's almost like I'm an entirely different person, who's normal sense and rational and moral compass just switches off. \n\nI cry myself to sleep at night thinking about my future. How can I possibly have a normal life knowing and remembering the things that I've done and seen? It's not right. I'm not right. I just wish I could get a do-over. Have a normal teenage life. It's been so long since I actually had fun and didn't just put on a 'human suit' and pretend to be normal among friends. \n\nAlso, if anyone who ever finds themself in a similar situation (I've read similar reddit threads and blog posts about this before, you'd be surprised by how common it seems to be) please don't. Stop before you seem to have gone too far and things just go dark.\n\nAnyway, thanks guys. Peace. Sorry if this is rambly - I was kinda crying while writing it, a lot of emotions when thinking about stuff.\n", "post_id": "4yy1ty", "comment_id": "d6riemt"}, {"question": "Any good therapist will be able to separate out their own religious/spiritual beliefs from their view of you and how they work to help you.  It sounds like you understand that though.  There are plenty of awful therapists out there who incorporate too much of their religious views/spirituality whether it be more traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs or alt-medicine pseudoscience stuff (one of my supervisees simply refers to it as \"woo\").  \n\n\nWhile it never guarantees a good therapist, you've probably got a better chance of NOT encountering one of these types of bad therapists if you find someone who identifies similarly as you do.  \n\n\nIt's never inappropriate to ask for what you want in a therapist.  If you're going to a larger agency, it might not be a guarantee they have somebody that matches your preference or even that they end up assigning you to somebody with your preference, but you always have the right to ask.  If you're able, your best bet is finding someone in private practice and asking some of these questions in the initial phone call before your first appointment.  \n\n\nTo play devil's advocate though, I bet it would be extremely helpful and healing (albeit very difficult) for you to work with a GOOD therapist who does belong to a religion you're prejudiced against.  \n\nFor this very reason, as a therapist, I'm taking a big training on Hypnosis.  I'd put this in the woo category of therapies.  I don't believe it's very useful and am skeptical about the research surrounding it, but that's specifically why I'm taking the training.  I could go to all the Existential Therapy/SFBT/MI/CBT workshops I could find that will just tell me what I want to hear, reinforce what I'm doing is good, and I'll feel good but gain very little in the ways of new knowledge.", "comment": "I have never been to therapy.  I know I need it.  Forgive my ignorance, I\u2019ve never been to this sub before either. \n\nI was raised and manipulated by the southern evangelical church for my entire life until I left without a word 8 months ago.  I have heard of so called \u201cChristian therapy\u201d but I know not all therapists incorporate their religious beliefs into their practice.  \n\nI guess I\u2019m technically an agnostic now but Im moving toward secular humanist / atheist. Very much still in the anti religion phase of de-conversion.\n\nMy issue is I don\u2019t even want to see a therapist if they believe in any religion. Not if they incorporate it into the practice or not, I mean I don\u2019t even want to waste our time by making an appointment with a therapist that goes to church on Sundays, has a cross hanging on their wall at home, or will give 10% of the money they make from my session to a church.    \n\nIs this an appropriate ask? How would I go about this?", "post_id": "ce38u2", "comment_id": "eu2s3bi"}, {"question": "I don't doubt that this seems embarrassing to you, but this sounds very likely like standard OCD to a psychiatrist. It's very treatable, which hopefully will help you not feel embarrassed in interactions with people who aren't your doctor!", "comment": "I am 28 year old Caucasian male. Do I seem to have OCD? When I was young I would wash my hands until they bleed. I seem to be over that symptom now. But I am still plagued with other symptoms. It takes me forever to leave my home. I check all of my faucets, lights and locks again and again. The fridge doors I must check to make sure they are closed by tapping the doors a couple times.  When I drive my car I am afraid I hit someone or something even thought it is insane to do, I even sometimes go back to drive the same route to make sure I did not. Everyone seems to think I am crazy because when I enter the building I must check a couple times that the door is securely shut. I feel embarrassed to see a doctor about these symptoms. Do I possibly have OCD?", "post_id": "c8kdqz", "comment_id": "esnmwek"}, {"question": "Ice cream has been an essential part of my recovery!!  Congrats on 3 years!!", "comment": "... still drunk, and drove myself to work. It was Election Day. I got sent home from work (driven by a coworker) where I passed out and pissed myself.\n\nWhen I woke up, the election was over, and I was scared I was gonna lose my job and get kicked out of my sober house.\n\nIt\u2019s been a long journey, to get here. I\u2019ve wanted to relapse so many times, but each time I remembered just how not worth it drinking was. A lot of ice cream to distract from the cravings.\n\nKeep up the good fight, everyone.", "post_id": "dtfqpx", "comment_id": "f6x22x9"}, {"question": "Please see your physician again. You might have celiac disease or other food intolerance.", "comment": "23, male, white, 5'5\", 115ish lbs, no drugs/medications, non smoker, drink occasionally (never more than 1-2 beers), I have scoliosis and sinus tachycardia. \n\nSo as a kid, I had a *lot* of stomach aches. Sometimes it would be so painful I'd cry and have to take medicine. Then after a while, it seemed I grew out of that, but I still had an almost nonexistent appetite and could never eat much. Chalked it up to just being a kid. Then in high school, I did plenty of activities that should have boosted my appetite and calorie needs (karate, track and field, weight lifting), but I could still never eat much at all and could never really gain weight (I'm 23 now and have weighed roughly the same since about 9th grade).\n\nPediatricians told my parents I'd grow out of it, but now at 23, I still only weigh about 115 lbs. I hardly eat, preferring small snacks over actual food. When I do eat regular meals, I can almost never finish a normal portioned plate. After eating, I usually feel nauseated, very gassy, and feel full after just a few bites. I am often very fatigued and weak feeling, especially after eating. My heart rate also shoots up pretty fast after eating, as if my body is having to really work. Really, I feel my best if I *haven't* eaten, and will sometimes go a full day without  food. If I exercise though without eating, I feel really bad. If it's relevant, there are some spots on my abdomen that are very tender when pressed.\n\nWhat could explain me feeling so poorly when eating, and feeling like an old decrepit person? Do I have a tapeworm?", "post_id": "amj3e4", "comment_id": "efmj8kk"}, {"question": "just keep asking her out. if she says yes a few times talk about each other's feelings. ", "comment": "Hey Reddit,\n\nThis is a throwaway because people close to me know of my reddit account. Some backstory: For the past 5 years I've been going to school with a girl (lets call her Lily). Lily and I aren't always close, actually it was just this year that we've begun to really connect. Funny thing is we're not at the same school this year which makes the time we spend together all the more special. Today I saw her for the first time in person to go see a movie and it made me realize how much I care for her. Although I feel this way for her, it's highly unlikely she feels the same about me, obviously likes me as a friend.I reached out to her after I had gone home and told her we should do this sort of thing more often and she replied with a yes. Now my question is... Is there any way that I can indicate the way I feel about her indirectly (not telling her straight up that I love her) because I'm afraid she'll be confused and maybe mad. I also don't want to mess the friendship that we've developed... I hope you understand the situation I'm in. Thanks for any responses! :)", "post_id": "5l0uzj", "comment_id": "dbs41ha"}, {"question": "Although it\u2019s been brought up by several people already, I am a doctor and I\u2019ll chime in. If the depression happens just before your period and gets better after it, then it\u2019s a classic case of pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which is a hormonally-driven cyclical depression.\n\nThe bad news is that we don\u2019t know how to cure it. The good news is that it\u2019s usually quite treatable. An ob-gyn  or psychiatrist is more likely to be familiar than family medicine or an internist, but there are definitely options.\n\nThis is actually one of the few mood disorders where therapy is helpful but definitely a bigger time investment for less benefit than medication.", "comment": "I\u2019m beginning to think it might be a hormone issue but I don\u2019t have much of the other symptoms other than bloating and fatigue. If it was a hormone issue, would it be treatable? \n\n18F, 5\u20191, 128 lbs, no medication, i took epuris for a few months last year though.", "post_id": "fge5zb", "comment_id": "fk474sl"}, {"question": "As a therapist, I start every session with a mini mental status questionnaire and I'm also supposed to use a outcome rating scale which has my clients rate how they think they're doing in certain areas of their life. I usually spark conversation based on the results and try to just have a natural flow of conversation. I've also sat in silence with a client and while it's uncomfortable, I try to let my clients control the session.", "comment": "Does your therapist expect you to just tell them everything that bothers you or does he/she ask all the questions themselves? If you come to a session and you feel down and can't put what you're feeling into words, what does your therapist do?\n\nMy therapist expects me to tell her everything myself and decide what are we gonna talk about. If I don't know what to say she's like \"why are you not talking you're making it hard for me\". It kinda stresses me out if I don't know what to say. ", "post_id": "6g7vqv", "comment_id": "dio8hdd"}, {"question": "Keep going. It WILL get better!!", "comment": "Life hasn't gotten better, but at least I'm no longer dealing with it drunk. \n\n​\n\n​\n\nIWNDWYT", "post_id": "duvp9k", "comment_id": "f7a2ait"}, {"question": "if that's all he can do, than you have to accept it or not.  utilize your free time with other friends, activities, and hobbies [passionate hobbies are key to mental health]. if you think your loneliness is depression, see a therapist.", "comment": "Hi Reddit! Please help. \n\nSo my boyfriend and I go to the same college and have been together for about a year and a half. Recently he's gotten really busy (working 15 hours a week, competing on a club sports team, etc) and things have been getting a little hard for us. This started last semester. I would see him at night pretty often, but he was so tired and distracted from the day that it didn't seem like he was really there. Actual quality time spent together became rare and that was hard for me. When I would talk to him about it it only seemed to stress him out more because he claimed he was doing everything he could. And in the end, I would feel bad and feel like it was my fault for expecting too much from him. \n\nThe break came and he hardly talked to me. All he wanted to do was relax from the hectic quarter and not worry about anything- which included responding to anyone's texts including my own.\n\nWe came back to school and I talked to him about it. He apologized and said he didn't mean to make me upset. But nothing's changed. We go a couple days without seeing each other now and he still won't text or call me.\n\nLast night I had a dream he died and in my dream I was so lonely and so sad. When I woke up and tried to talk to him about it he hugged me for a moment then told me to get up because he had stuff to do. And I broke down even more and told him that I've been feeling lonely and sad for a long time and it was the same conversation all over again of \"I don't know what more you want me to do.\" He didn't have time to talk about it in the morning so we're going to talk later. \n\nBut I guess I feel hopeless and I feel like this is my fault and I don't know what to do. \n\nTl;dr: My boyfriend is really busy. When we hang out he's distracted and sometimes he goes days without talking to me. I feel sad/lonely but he feels like he's giving me all he can and doesn't know what much more he can do.", "post_id": "66jw9k", "comment_id": "dgj2zv8"}, {"question": "I don't know if you work the steps, if not disregard.\n\nFrom what I understand of the BB, it tells me that a relapse, short of someone pouring a drink down my throat, is always precipitated by inaction on my part. From my experience and the collective experiences of many I know, if I do the things laid out in the twelve steps, and I do them to the best of my ability, then I won't drink. I'm not saying that I'll be insured happiness, freedom from panic attacks, and immunity to the opinions of others, but I won't have to drink. See from my perspective, a panic attack and fear of others didn't MAKE you drink. An obsession beyond your control made a drink the only option. The thing is, that obsession is there in part due to inaction on your part in diligently working the twelve steps.\n\nThis sounds condemning and judgmental, I'm sorry if it offends you. I don't know every circumstance in your life nor your work in AA, but the understandings and beliefs I have of the twelve steps make this a cut and dry case for me. It is however just my opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt depending upon how sobriety looks for you. Just thought I'd offer my perspective.", "comment": "**i figured i should post this here cuz i post here too**\n\nI woke up this morning at 4:30 am still drunk from the night before. I was still tired, still wanted to go to sleep. But I was afraid that if I were to go back to sleep that I would most certainly die by choking on my own vomit if I were to do so. Over the course of the night, i had drank way more than i had drank in my life, yes even as an active alcoholic i never drank as much as i drank in one night as i did last night. I think i drank enough to kill a small human.\n\nI woke up with a vague recollection of some things, that i had to piece together by asking other people and txt message logs and shit like that. I was quite seriously out of it. I had only ever blacked out or browned out once in my life (tho, if it was more, would i really know?). I drunk texted someone who is like a co-sponsor, the person who got me to even think about quitting drinking. And he's quite pissed (i'm always worried that he's pissed but this time i know it's serious). I've pissed off a quite understanding Pastor friend of mine, who is in the program and is not the kind of person who gets angry (he's a lutheran pastor and they are seriously just happy that someone asks for help).\n\nWhy did I drink? Well, It started with a panic attack on wednesday night, i awoke at 3am with an intense pressure in my body, the same pressure i've had before when having panic attacks and didn't want to go to the ER at 3am. So i took what was handy which were some percocets that i got from my MIL. Yes, i know, i need to stop taking pills from her. I'm working on that. So I took some and went back to sleep cuz they mellowed me out. Then went about my day, things went great, i did some big things with church and stuff was very happy felt the best i had in a while, was so happy to have turned a corner. Later that day, i was sitting at home and decided to for no reason in particular to take a handful of percocet. woke up sick, took a few more, went about my day. woke up sick, went to therapy, felt like a dick for using, told 1 friend.\n\nThat one friend said i need to come clean. Asked around the webchat on sunday, was told i need to come clean about relapsing. Didn't want to have to go in and say, I FUCKED UP. Especially since, someone in a meeting (my former sponsor) told me I was going to relapse because I wasn't doing it for myself so it was going to happen. This was in response to me saying that, I didn't want to drink but was afraid I was going to relapse. I don't want to give them the satisfaction that they're right. I didn't. So upon stress due to the pressure of having to be truthful, I drank. And I drank more than ever before because I couldn't deal with all the AA and shit that i've got going on in my head. It took a lot to get me past that feeling of guilt and shame.\n\nBut now i know, this shit will fucking kill me if i don't get it together. I can't drink like i did before going to meetings, because the first place i go is guilt. And it'll just be harder and harder because i'm driving away the people that want to help.", "post_id": "20ohsr", "comment_id": "cg5ts9w"}, {"question": "you'll just have to talk it out when you get home", "comment": "So redittors, this is my first post on her. Heres the lowdown:\n\nWe've been married six years and seeing each other before that for eight. I've never had a reason to mistrust my wife and she has been extremely loyal and dedicated. \n\nI am currently working abroad (there is a time difference so I was getting up for work when all this went on) and the other night she went with her usual gang of mates... no one to suspect anything with there. So she gets in and missed skype calls me. Which is unusual, so i thought there might be a problem with the kids or something. So I ring back with no answer. A while goes by and I am worried in case she is in trouble.\n\nSo maybe the worst thing I've ever done I check find my iphone (its a shared account before you ask) to make sure she's not at hospital with the kids or something. The weird thing is at four o'clock in the morning her phone is now heading out of town along a main road. I watch it as it goes to a garage and then stops in a village.\n\nIts her new phone and I'm thinking that she's either had it stolen or left it in the taxi. So I ring the house phone and my daughter answers who says she's not there. This is now five in the morning. Now im mega concerned for her safety and generally what is going on. So I try ringing her and whatsapping her. To no response.\n\nI have to go and do some work so I keep an eye on it, but to be honest I was thinking of calling the police as i didn't know what had happened to her. \n\nThen at 0810 the phone starts moving again from that location, again follows roads at the right travel speeds and I follow it back to our house. Again I try ringing to see what was happening. I ring the house phone again and my daughter tells me my wife has just got in.\n\nMy wife then wont speak to me for most of the day, I speak to her best mate who says she dropped my wife off in a taxi at our house at three and has no idea what is going on.\n\nWhen I do speak to my wife she says she was at home, my daughter didn't see her as she had passed out in the ensuite and that she was up and about looking for her bank card that she lost as she was so drunk the night before and hadn't come home then.\n\nI've been away for Xmas and to be frank this has been shit. I've asked about it all but she just denies it and says nothing happened and she was at home the whole time. Not even an excuse like going to an after party. I also checked with apple to see if there can be such discrepancies and they have said no there can't be, which I pretty much thought, the way it was moving.\n\nI know looking from the outside it may seem pretty obvious what has happened, or am I jumping to conclusions? The facts show that her phone defo went to that location and stayed for three hours before returning home. And I think my daughter knows how my wife was dressed when she went out. Also if she was as drunk as she and her friends say she was there's no way she'd be getting up at 0830 to look for her bank card.\n\nI don't want to throw away 8 years and our family, but I really think something has happened. I'm back home in a few days and want to sort this out so it doesn't linger over us but she is just denying everything. Thoughts please guys and girls?", "post_id": "5kfk6u", "comment_id": "dbnsdtx"}, {"question": "Has any other diagnosis been considered such as emotionally unstable personality disorder?", "comment": "F, 35, white\n\ndepression with psychosis (hearing voices), anxiety\n\nI've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. In and out of the hospital for the last 12 years or so until about 2 years ago. Since then I've managed to stay out. I see a therapist and psychiatrist and have a lot of people who are supposed to help me. In the last few months everyone thinks I am doing so much better, but that is because I have forced myself to put on a happy face and talk more and smile and pretty much fake it. But it's because I've become so paranoid of everyone's intents and don't trust that they are looking out for my best interests. I worry that they are going behind my back and talking about me and plotting against me. I am not normally paranoid.  The only psychotic feature of my depression has been auditory hallucinations, and those haven't gotten any worse.  I am right on the edge between seeing that this is not rational to think this way, but still not being able to get past my beliefs and concerns to actually talk to anyone, so it just gets worse.\n\nI don't trust medications anymore. I have tried so many already, antidepressants and antipsychotics. The ones that helped I couldn't seem to tolerate or eventually stopped working. The ones I could tolerate didn't help. Now I worry that the doctors were really spending the last 20 years trying to poison me with these medications and they are using current circumstances to try to get me back on medications that will hurt me.\n\nI know how crazy this (I) sound(s.) I just don't know what to do about it.\n\nI realize that nobody can help me if I can't tell them what is going on, but how can I tell them what is going on when I secretly think they want to hurt me? \n\nI need to figure this out before I end up cancelling my psychiatrist appointment next week because I think she'll poison me with meds. Or before I cancel my next therapy appointment because she is secretly recording me and playing it for everyone I know to hear. Besides, every time I leave the house for appointments, people come in to my apartment and go through all of my things. (All huge, very real fears of mine right now.)\n\nIs the a chance this is more than just my depression at this point? Could I lose the ability to see that these are irrational fears?\n\nHow do I approach this with my doctor when I feel like she is part of the problem? (Even though I know that the problem is me.)", "post_id": "5jo47m", "comment_id": "dbil54k"}, {"question": "Listen. Ask questions that show that you're listening--basically, ask questions that keep them talking and encourage them to share more. Don't give unsolicited advice. It's ok to share a similar experience that you've had, but don't interrupt and don't share it unless it's really relevant--you want to avoid giving the impression that you think their troubles are less than their troubles. Let them talk until they've said everything they need to. \n\nThen, if you really want to give advice, ask if you can share your thoughts. It's ok if you don't have advice, or if you don't know how to fix their situation. Just listening to them and supporting them is a big help. It's ok if you don't actually have a solution. Your role is not to fix things; it's to be a friend and listen to them.\nTl:dr Listen to people :)", "comment": "So recently it has come to my attention that I have NO idea how to comfort other people and it just ends up in a giant awkward mess. I need to know what to do in person and sometimes over the phone because of distance issues with friends preventing me from being there in person. Any feedback would be appreciated.", "post_id": "wvrvm", "comment_id": "c5gzh59"}, {"question": "Narcissists tend not to think of themselves as narcissists...", "comment": "I have always known that there is something wrong with me, but I didn't know what. After my last failed attempt at an intimate relationship, I have started reading about BPD (something that was fitting for my symptoms) and then NPD. I think I might suffer from the latter, as well as half of my family, and I am worried that I will end up all alone, in my high tower, having alienated everyone.\n\nI am good looking (not the best, just good) and hypersexual, yet I mostly masturbate. I don't want a partner, unless I perceive him as really desired. In this case, one out of two things happen: either I earn his heart and trust and then alienate him out of fear that he will abandon me (thinking to myself \"Did I do that? Did I seriously do that? Why? Oh, at least it's my fault, so I can fix it next time... it's not that I am unwanted per se)\"; or I win him, then I discover that he's not that great after all, and move on to the next victim without any real regard (\"Suck it up, that's life\").\n\nAs I want to experience real love and intimacy with a partner I desire, I need help ASAP to change my shitty ways and stop manipulating and exploiting people.\n\nMy fears are comical: first of all, I fear that my \"partner\" might think about me in the same way that I think about him. Which is a totally disrespectful way, as an object (of desire), a mere function, an accessory...\n1. He is MY partner, MY sweet-talking vibrator, MY walking erection (caused by ME, of course I can tolerate the though of his dick getting hard for another WOMAN... if he fucks goats, I'm OK with it), MY sweet smile (as long as it's ME making him smile) -\n2. MY pet empath, MY mirror-mirror on the wall, I can shine my brilliance at him and watch him reflect it back on MYSELF with the vibrant power of thousand projectors. He HAS something I lack and desperately crave, he has empathy and can GIVE love, things I lack, but desperately need. Each and every time I think to myself that this time I will make right. But I always do wrong. The harder I try to avoid damage, the worse the damage is.\n3. He's my personal audience, my faithful dog, dare he not be happy being faithful or being a dog, It makes me want to annihilate him. I am vindicative, but I don't take revenge, as I recognize that it won't help. But I have sworn revenge to many people, not only romantic partners, but anyone who disrespects me in any way.\n\nI don't want to talk to people, I want to charm them and capture their minds and hearts. I pretend to listen and understand them, but only because I know that this captures minds and hearts.\n\nI don't want to have sex with men, I want to demonstrate to them my passion and enthusiasm, my bedroom acrobatics, hook them and make them crave me, this is my fantasy. Actually, if I have to be fair, I am a pretty mediocre lover, unless I am enthusiastic about the partner (and myself, and how he looks on me). Then I become ... an enthusiastic partner, which is always good, but nothing very special.\n\nAfter losing a romantic interest to my ego one more time I have decided that I can't afford this cycle to continue. Last time I tried to avoid manipulation and pretense, but things became horrible. I decided to \"show weakness\", but instead I raped emotionally the poor man and I feel awful. I vomited my insecurities and inferiority complexes all over him. \n\nSuch horrible self-inflicted humiliation shattered my ego and I was a barely-functioning zombie for a while. I discovered a website, extensively dealing with NPD on the webs, and I think that it perfectly describes the way my brain works. The funny thing being, these things were always there, but I couldn't see them. My grandiose fantasies, my addictive behavior, total disregard for others, my addiction to flattery, including self-flattery (can't do anything about it - my own ego manipulates me into total submission).\n\nMy own version of empathy - I don't think about others, I will myself to think about others, then quickly start thinking about how I am thinking about others and how empathetic I am.\n\n\nEven after discovering what is wrong, I just can't stop thinking about MYSELF and MY NARCISSISM. \n\n\nProfessionaly, I am doing OK, I  love my job. It's the only thing capable of distracting me of thinking about MYSELF, MY PROBLEMS, MY BRILLIANT PERSONA, etc...\n\n\nI can see how pathetic I am, or more likely, how just OK I am and how huge the gap between my self-image and real self is. It stings my ego, but that's OK.\n\nThe question is, can I learn how to love. Not just men, but my (imperfect) self, our (imperfect) world and to value this imperfect life. Or is this like diabetes, incurable?", "post_id": "61n4wu", "comment_id": "dffsvia"}, {"question": "Starting is the hardest part in my opinion. Once I start I usually end up enjoying what I\u2019m doing. Instead of telling yourself three hours try 15 minutes. Just practice getting started ", "comment": "I'm sure it's been said a thousand times in this sub, but **time management is the bane of my fucking existence**.\n\nI have three major projects this semester. I'm only in a leadership position for one of them, and it's the smallest/simplest one.\n\nI know that if I could just spend **three hours a day, every weekday** on each one, I'd have them all under control.\n\nThree hours. That's nothing. That *should* be nothing. I take three Adderall a day and each one lasts 4-5 hours.\n\nExcept focusing on one task at a time, even with the meds is ***literally fucking impossible***.\n\nI have read so many tips on time management. I know what I SHOULD be doing differently. But I just don't. fucking. do it.\n\nI don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to get ANYTHING under control when this is how I'm forced to live my life.", "post_id": "7vrxup", "comment_id": "dtus6pp"}, {"question": "Psychologist here, and a behavioral one at that.  If your anxiety is not getting better in the context of your present therapy, and if your specific goal for therapy is to get over your anxiety, then something is wrong, and shaking things up is likely a good thing.  \n\nThat said, the cure for anxiety is exposure, but exposure in the context of trust.  getting all overwhelmed is not necessarily a deal breaker, but it may cause you to have a setback too.  If you find the prospect of an intensive group too overwhelming to contemplate, then don't do it.  If you feel it will be tough but you can manage it, and/or escape if the pressure is too much, then give it a whirl.  \n\nIf you opt to not do the group, you might consider also switching to a different therapist.  If you do that, look for someone who can offer you behavioral treatment for your anxiety.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a good thing to look for, although there are other types of therapy which can be helpful (ACT, for instance).  The key is that you should be actually working up to behavioral experiments out in the field, testing your anxious feelings and thoughts (assuming you have a social anxiety, you should be out testing your assumptions about actual interpersonal relationships).  If all you are doing is talking about your fears, and that is not working for you then you're working with the wrong therapist.  ", "comment": "My therapist wants my to take part in a 10day intense therapy group since my anxiety is not getting any better but just the thought of being in a room with different people brings my s.a out bad..im at a crossroads cause im sure it would help but I cant get of the stranger aspect of it. Not sure what to do. .", "post_id": "23tjoi", "comment_id": "ch0gssk"}, {"question": "Have you talked with your MHP about social skills specifically? Like even practiced small talk or body language or those sorts of things? It sounds like you\u2019re improving your self esteem, which is an awesome step in increasing your confidence  as well, but maybe you can do some direct work on social skills?", "comment": "When I started off in the dorms, my former roommate was a very chill, very popular guy. To his credit, he made an effort to include me. I was still super inhibited and got really anxious even just hanging out with the folks from our floor, so the invites became less and less frequent. I also was never added into their group chat, despite asking multiple times.\n\nCampus orgs, same deal. I joined one of the more semi-professional ones, and grew to be very respected there and contributed a great deal. Never really became \u201cpart of the group\u201d, though.\n\nI tried going to the Tabletop Games Association a couple times, but everyone seemed to already have their playgroups established; I got nervous about barging in on existing playgroups, so I took my games and left without speaking to anyone (or even being seen, as far as I know).\n\nI\u2019m living alone right now because I couldn\u2019t find any roommates to live with, so my poor social skills are costing my family actual money.\n\nI\u2019m seeing a mental health professional. I do feel better about myself, but still feel cripplingly shy and insecure around others. I\u2019m \u201con the spectrum\u201d (though that \u201cdiagnosis\u201d was from when I was very young, and the doctors refused to put a definitive label like Aspergers or ASD on me; perhaps they would now that I\u2019m older) and have the unfortunate tendency to speak in an excessively technical and over-intellectualized manner, punctuated by stutters, asides, and generally giving people the impression of being an annoying egghead. I have quite a few interesting stories and anecdotes, but ye gods I\u2019m horrendously bad at telling them in a way that is actually interesting and engaging.\n\nIt feels pretty bad to go to a college like this one and totally fail to make any new friends. I\u2019m trying to be better, and it doesn\u2019t seem to be working very well. I can\u2019t help but feel this experience reflects very poorly on me.\n\nWhat does one do if they aren\u2019t able to \u201cfind their tribe\u201d, so to speak? Even among circles one would think I\u2019d do well in (geeks and gamers) I end up being the weirdly awkward guy that people are nice enough to, but don\u2019t care to get to know me or be known by me.", "post_id": "bahfsg", "comment_id": "ekbl04m"}, {"question": "It might be helpful to talk with your prescriber, he/she may have some suggestions on how to handle the decreased appetite side effect. ", "comment": "I'm a college student and I'm up to my neck in work. I don't mind it, it's fun actually. What's not fun is how much weight I've been losing. I've probably dropped 10 pounds or so in the past month (I take Adderall which makes me forget to eat). I'm already underweight and this isn't good. I just never seem to have enough time to cook anything and I'm worried that I'll continue to lose weight. I've begun to eat double of what I used to at breakfast, but I don't know if that's enough. Help?", "post_id": "2mf2av", "comment_id": "cm3mqvc"}, {"question": "Lots of people delete posts periodically.  \n  \nAt the time I'm posting this, AussieBeast has 2 link posts up, both doing very well.  ", "comment": "http://www.reddit.com/user/AussieBeast\n\nhttp://www.reddit.com/user/Child-in-Time\n\nGotta be something going on.  And what the fuck is this guy but a bunch of users joined at the bot:\n\nhttp://www.reddit.com/user/StickleyMan", "post_id": "1p3bfc", "comment_id": "ccygdg4"}, {"question": "This is very typical.  Every single form of therapist in the United States whether that be Master's level therapist or Doctorate level therapist must go through an internship while they're still in school where they'll be seeing clients and then work for a few years post graduating where the majority of time they should be seeing clients all without being licensed.  While they're doing this, they're working under the supervision of a much more experienced therapist who they'll talk to about their cases.  \n\n\nIt is not typical for a client to get to speak with the supervisor however if they want to issue a complaint, they should be given the supervisor's contact info.  If the therapist is providing therapy for an agency, whether they're licensed or not, they will have a direct supervisor you can call and issue a complaint to.  If they are working in a smaller or private practice, their supervisor may not be part of the practice but be an independent supervisor.  If they are working pre-license in this way, they should provide you with their license supervisor's contact info either at the beginning of working together or upon request.  \n\n\nAll this info relates to the United States and this may vary from country to country.", "comment": "My previous \"therapist\" was actually a psychologist training to become a psychotherapist. She was terrible at her job. Is this normal for somebody to take a role of a therapist before finishing the certification? Sorry if my wording seems weird, English is not my first language.", "post_id": "eo7vu7", "comment_id": "feaqah2"}, {"question": "Therapist are like shoes, they don't always fit you.  Sometimes trying other therapists out is a good idea.  I know people who have went to 20+ therapists before they found the right one.  On top of that you are in college they typically have therapists on staff for free. ", "comment": "Long story short: I've been in and out of depression for as long as I can remember, but it really hit hard a year or two ago and stuck. I went to therapy for a year but never got much out of it.\n\nThe hardest thing was moving out and going to college a few months ago. The only people I hang out with are two of my friends from highschool that go here. Still, I end up spending most of my time in my room by myself. To add to the complete and total loneliness, my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I get that I'm young, and my relationships aren't exactly serious, but we've been through so much together, and it's incredibly difficult for me to love and trust people.\n\nThe worst part of it, I think, is that I don't feel sad or angry like I thought I would. I feel empty. Void. I know I'm probably furious and miserable somewhere inside but I can't feel it. It's like I'm out of touch with my humanity. I don't think about suicide (anymore), but I feel like that if I were faced with my own death, it wouldn't even bother me.", "post_id": "2m9uur", "comment_id": "cm3rtjb"}, {"question": "your friendship with this guy is more important than what your ex thinks", "comment": "Basically, I was in a relationship with this guy for 8 months or so until I broke up with him around the beginning of November of this year. We both are best friends with this other guy but recently me and this guy have become even closer as we're in Uni together and have been spending a lot of time together. We both started noticing that we have so so much in common and just always having a great time hanging out. We then began to start thinking differently about each other in a different light for the last month or so and we just got closer and closer as time progressed. A few nights ago, we kissed and then chatted about the pros and cons about what will could potentially happen next. We both felt we kind of suited each other and that we always seemed to always get along and never argue or anything in the slightest. My head has just been all over the place now because I know my ex would not be happy with what has happened but I also really think me and this other guy can work extremely well together. ", "post_id": "5ktebz", "comment_id": "dbqhhcl"}, {"question": "You have to get a hysterectomy?!  That seems pretty extreme.  Did you get a second opinion?  I was under the impression that they could scrape away precancerous cells on your cervix.  \n\nI smoked for 13 years and was basically forced to quit almost two months ago when I was in the hospital after a suicide attempt.  I was out after five days, but I figured I might as well just continue not smoking.  All the other stuff going on with my health actually made it easier to quit.  You should definitely quit before surgery though because smoking impairs healing.", "comment": "In 5 days I undergo a hysterectomy due to precancerous and very early stage cancerous cells in my reproductive organs. \n\nMy doctor was very direct in saying \"think of each cigarette as marinating these cancerous cells\". Granted, my condition is not directly due to smoking, but it's likely progressed faster than it would have otherwise. \n\nI told myself \"I'll quit 2 weeks before surgery... ok, ten days... One week....\" While I've cut down considerably, I'm still smoking at 5 days out. \n\nThere is no true logic to this. Am I stressed? Certainly. Am I addicted? No doubt. Do these points make smoking acceptable? Absolutely not. \n\nI'm disgusted and annoyed with myself over this, declaring each cigarette to be the last, knowing in my mind that I don't really mean it. \n\nI wish I'd never started this so many years ago. \n\nToday really must be the day, or I must accept that smoking is more important than my health, my family, and my quality of life. \n\n", "post_id": "7aj0hs", "comment_id": "dpazl1y"}, {"question": "Given what you said, you didn't contact anything from the blood taking proceedure. Its much more likely to be the bad cold thats inflicting the UK this year.", "comment": "I really need some advice, I am a 20 year old female and recently had a full sexual health test because i was skeptical about an incident that occurred years ago ( I am not and have not been sexually active since). I took the test on Tuesday and my result came back negative and free from infection. I was very relieved about these results, but unfortunately two days later developed a bad fever and very sore throat. I have never experienced illness like this and am worried that i may have contracted something during testing at the clinic, the nurse who attended to me was very offish and I did not watch the whole blood drawing process as i am quite afraid of needles. Also I rushed while taking the self swab test and did not wash my hands before. I live in the UK and generally have a positive perception of our health care system and really want to this to just be a common cold, but i have never experienced such uncomfortable cold symptoms like this and it is making me very worried. I understand it is a very busy time of the year and would appreciate any advice. Thank you", "post_id": "5k7lic", "comment_id": "dblz41t"}, {"question": "Yeah, I'm actually a LMFT. It's great ", "comment": "Personally I want to become a researcher once I get my doctorate and find new treatment methods or even cures to mental illnesses. What influenced my decision is what I've been through and my experience with bpd, chronic depression, and social anxiety. I don't want anyone else to go through what I live with. I just want to know if anyone is doing the same bc im curious lol.", "post_id": "5q9xgy", "comment_id": "dcxv0sf"}, {"question": "Usually it lasts only a week or two, but it's variable. One option is to ask your doctor to prescribe the escitalopram liquid to you so you can make more fine\\-grained adjustments. You could take 1 mg or 0.5 mg or even less daily for as long as it takes to be comfortable.", "comment": "Female, 25y/o, 5 foot 6 inches, 150 lbs, currently taking ranitidine and cyclafem, non smoker. \n\nI've been taking 10mg lexapro for seven years to treat anxiety and depression. After talking with my doctor, we came up with a plan to taper off it. 7.5mg for two weeks, 5mg for two weeks, 2.5mg for two weeks and then 2.5mg every other day for a week and then stop. I followed that except I added another week (so total of three weeks on 5mg) after feeling a lot of anxiety at 5mg.  \n\nI think the plan worked really well for me, I did feel a little nauseous and have some brain zap like things happening the first couple of days after each step down, but other than that I thought it was really manageable UNTIL 2.5 mg every other day. I felt really nauseous, and now I've been off it completely for five days and I feel terrrrrrrible. My brain feels like it's several seconds behind my body, I'm still nauseous, and I'm in just an awful mood. I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to make this stop or make it better. I'd really appreciate any advice on how to manage this or any idea on how long this will last. ", "post_id": "8jfdb9", "comment_id": "dyzp7bt"}, {"question": "No opinion on outside issues would be AA's official policy I assume, but as far as members go I'm almost certain most AA's take grape juice. I can't say I know though as I've never taken communion.", "comment": "Not looking to start a religious debate here but was looking for everyone's opinion about wine as sacrament/communion. I grew up in the church but am not very churchy however I went last Sunday for a family baptism and I accepted the wine as my sacrament (the church also offers grape juice) it was the same day I decided to begin my sobriety so I'm not counting it against my badge, just wondering what other's opinions of it were. Would you count it against your sobriety? I have a close family member who has been in AA my entire memory and they always take the grape juice. Can anyone share what the AA policy on communion is?", "post_id": "1o56ui", "comment_id": "ccoyo89"}, {"question": "Its probably the caffeine. When I first started taking Ritalin I drank coffee the first few days (not a huge amount either) and thought I was losing my shit when I had to sit down in the middle of an aisle in target to do deep breathing. Switching to decaf resolved the issue.", "comment": "My doctor gave it to me over adderall yesterday, saying unlike the other I wouldn\u2019t crash, and i would have a 12 hour window of focus.\n\nI took it at 3 pm for a shift at work that would go til midnight.\n\nAround 7, i began to feel hungover. I had just finished my first coffee for the evening (which I do when I take these late night shifts)\n\nI had to ask my boss to send me home. During the night I began to feel very overwhelmed by anxiety. Fortunately some friends invited me over. But I was still very much in my head.\n\nI told my doctor about this and he was patronizing saying my experience is rare. I\u2019ve spoken to some friends with ADD and ADHD and they both had similar experiences. \n\nMy doc suggested I try one more day. But I don\u2019t want to go through that again!\n\nTL;dr\n\nFirst time taking Ritalin as prescribed. It raised my anxiety and I felt a very crashing feeling.\n\nTo be exact I took 27mg concerta i believe.", "post_id": "af7ikx", "comment_id": "edw4zrs"}, {"question": "You SHOULD be proud of yourself!! It\u2019s noticing those changes that help us stay grateful (at least it does for me anyways)!! Good work; hope the project comes out great!", "comment": "My husband and I are working on scrubbing down, sanding and painting the front and garage doors today.  While I have always happily pitched in, my refillable cup was usually refilled w rum and coke or something similar.  Today when he realized we needed new paint rollers I was able to say \"you start cutting in with the paint brush, I will zip up to the store and get rollers\"   My cup was filled with frozen citrus and water today. On day 14. That is an embarassingly simple thing to be proud of but I am. Before he would have had to go himself and lost 20 mins on painting.  \n\nMoving onto a coconut la croix with mint and a book on the deck!", "post_id": "cd7417", "comment_id": "etsi80t"}, {"question": "This is a really frustrating situation.  To be clear,  what the therapist is doing (assuming he actually is a therapist) is illegal and unethical. \n\nYou can definitely report it if you want .", "comment": "I am in a fight within myself regarding this one situation. A friend of mine confided in me about that she (38 yrs old) has started sleeping and dating her therapist. This therapist has convinced her that he is high up on the spiritual ladder, that he's really advanced in meditation and all sorts of spiritual bull and she's fallen hook line and sinker for him. He's 25 yrs older than her AND he's her professor at a special Emotional intelligence university. She has boundary issues stemming from abuse in childhood and she was involved with a married (again much older) man, whish is why she's been seeing this therapist. I am torn inside, in a way I think this is all about her adult decisions and so be it, but another part of me is livid towards this so-called therapist. How dare he! Should I report him?\n\nEDIT: Thank you, I feel clearly now that is is the right thing to do, to report. This guy should never be able to do this to anyone ever again. I know that my friend will despise and hate me, and that breaks my heart. I would love to just do it anonymously if that's even possible. Argh... frustrated here... ", "post_id": "hgt4sk", "comment_id": "fw5xqd3"}, {"question": "No offense but it doesn't seem you can compare what's it like quitting to before if you are only on day 4", "comment": "Sorry if this gets a little rambley, I'm writing this at four in the morning.\n\nI've been smoking nearly every day for about a year now and 3-6 times a day for a few months. I'm 21 and started smoking when I was 18, not very often at first, but the frequency gradually increased over time. Four days ago I decided to cut back on smoking, which turned into not smoking, since I'm running low on money, and I've recently gotten into song writing and get too self conscious to write while high. I've stopped before without problems, but this time I'm having difficulty sleeping and feeling a little cloudy. \n\nThe first day was by far the worst. I took night time benadryl because the day before I had a little trouble sleeping. I fell asleep at 2AM and woke up at 3AM with my body feeling completely stressed out for no apparent reason. I didn't consider not smoking the issue due to my previous experience with quitting, but considering the timing and every other factor, it's the only explanation I have. I was able to sleep the next night, but considering I barely got an hour of sleep, that's no surprise. This bring us to right now.\n\nI'm unable to sleep again, despite being tired all day. It's incredibly annoying, but considering that I dabble with other drugs which I can't sleep on, I'm sort of used to it. I only really noticed the fog today because usually when I stop it only takes one or two days for me to feel clear again. I imagine this is because I've been smoking more heavily recently. Thankfully, these are the only negative side effects of quitting I've noticed.\n\nPre-quitting, I've noticed that I'm a little more spacey than I used to be, but to be fair I've always kinda been like that. I blank on trying to find a word a lot more than I used to though, sometimes even a pretty common word, which is what really made me notice. I can't say whether or not my cognitive abilities have declined significantly or not besides the word acquisition issue. I can say that my motivation to do anything is shot as soon as I'm high though, which has definitely reflected in my studying/grades. To be fair I never studied all that much in the first place, but I digress. I'm also a rather anxious stoned, so I often decline offers to do things, which considering how often I smoke, is impeding my social life.\n\nNow on to the positives I've noticed since quitting. I'm generally a very messy person, always have been. Surprisingly, since quitting, I've without thinking cleaned up after myself after cooking, which was starting to become a problem because I live with two roommates and I know it's been bothering them. My appetite/control over my eating has also changed considerably. When I'm stoned I like to call myself \"The Great Devourer\" because if I have the option to, I'll eat until it hurts, which combined with a sedentary lifestyle has led to a rather hefty weight gain. Additionally, instead of ignoring something being on the floor that shouldn't be there and walking on, I take the half second to pick it up. I know it doesn't sound like much, but for me these are some serious changes in my behaviour. \n\nI've also become more social since quitting. My roommate/best friend hasn't stopped completely like myself, but now he's limiting himself to smoking at night. We always end up hanging out in our living room, but when we were high wouldn't say much unless we had a comment about a show we were watching or had something special that we wanted to share from reddit and things like that. In general, no idle chitchat. Post quitting/cutting back, we've been talking a lot more, which while it starts at small talk, has lead to us having more in depth conversations about our lives. I've even shown him a song I've been working on, which would never happen if I were high. Like I said, I'm self conscious to the point of not even writing when stoned, let alone allowing someone to see it, even those I'm closest to.\n\nWhat started as a funding issue has turned into me considering quitting altogether, though I'm leaning towards just seriously cutting back (restricting to weekends or something like that). I still enjoy the way it makes me feel, and love how food tastes when I'm stoned. I'm confident if I can treat it as a special occasion as opposed to a casual daily event I'll be able to keep the benefits. Though for now I'm going to stay the course and see where it takes me. \n\nIf you've made it this far, thanks for reading. It's now 5AM and I'm going to try to get some sleep.", "post_id": "4mi1ma", "comment_id": "d3w4d52"}]