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-[{"question": "What do you need to have happen to stay and be happy with her?\n\nIt sounds like she is not even interested in sexual pleasure, so we're probably missing part of the story here. ", "comment": "As the title said I've been with my gf for around two years and we haven't had sex yet. I have before with a previous partner, but she hasn't. We've done some very mild hand stuff but none of that has lasted for very long. She feels very self conscious of her body and hasn't let me even get close to seeing her lady bits because she is afraid that it won't be good enough. I have tried to reassure her that she is fine, but she seems to be getting more uncomfortable over time. I am very attracted to her and love her very much, but it has been hard for me as I am a sexual person. I just need advice on how to deal with this situation and how I can better understand what she is feeling.\n\ntl;dr: gf is afraid to have sex and I am having trouble understanding those fears.  \n\nP.S.: no history of sexual abuse for either of us, and sorry if this was long it's early in the morning and I can't sleep", "post_id": "6dyhkc"}, {"question": "you have sacrificed a lot. the thing to do is talk to him about the ways you're unhappy,and try to reach a new consensus about things.  marriage, like life, requires regular re-evaluation, because it's fluid, it's ever changing.   in nuts and bolts terms, you might say that marriage is a compendium of a million contracts, some big, some small.  usually they have to get re-negotiated from time to time.", "comment": "First thing is first, my husband is a good man and I love him very very much. So about 2 years ago I left a dream job in a dream apartment to move in with my then fiance (we are married now). Turns out I hate my new job, his house is terrible and I have since then poured thousands of my own money trying to fix it up, I am away from all of my close friends and family, and I gave up my most treasured hobby so that we could start a family. \n\nI just feel like I have sacrificed so much to move up here and I feel like I am harboring feelings of resentment. It comes out in passive aggressiveness snd sometimes I even feel like I WANT to make him feel bad because I am so unhappy. \n\nAny ideas? Besides counseling. I feel like it is more my problem and I have counseling sessions once every 2 weeks. ", "post_id": "5pun0z"}, {"question": "You should go if at all possible. Many years ago I chose not to fly back for a funeral thinking it wouldn't really make a difference if I was there or not and now I think about it all the time with regret. It's important to be there for your mom. You won't regret it.", "comment": "Hey all,\n\nMy mum's partner died very suddenly yesterday. He was an otherwise healthy middle-aged man, and of course we are all in shock over it. My mother is clearly devastated. \n\nI live on the other side of the world - about a 12 hour flight away. I just moved here recently to start a new job. I want to know your opinion - should I fly back home to be with my mother? I spoke to my boss, and he says it's possible to take unpaid leave. Of course the flight wouldn't be cheap, but I can probably afford it. This is all very surreal for me as I (fortunately) have not had to deal with a friend/family member dying before. \n\nWhat should I do? I want to be as supportive as possible", "post_id": "5xk7uy"}, {"question": "This is not gaslighting,  but I have a few ideas of what it might be.\n\n\nOne possibility: collateral damage from a therapist trying to do both individual and couples therapy.  While not explicitly forbidden,  this arrangement is generally frowned upon and often unethical.  Sure, it can be done well , but what you are describing is a great example of what can go wrong. If the therapist is working to validate you both during individual,  she may say things (even truthfully ) during a session to one person that is not reflective of the big picture problem in couples therapy.\n\nFor example , if I told an individual \"thank you so much for being genuine with me\" or \"i get the impression you are being very genuine \" and then later told his partner that I see the same people -pleasing pattern that she sees, neither is necessarily a lie. The problem comes in the comparing sessions. \n\nAnother possibility is that during this phase , it may not be therapeutic to confront your partner on his problematic behaviors.  Maybe she is building trust and rapport.  I worked with abusive men for years and for a time worked exclusively with narcissistic men. I can't tell you how many wives thought their husbands had me fooled. \"You don't see that he _____.\" I definitely see, but confronting too early on means losing him and his buy-in to work. Just because I validate something doesn't mean I am unaware of a problem. \n\nAnother possibility is that your partner 's version of events is different than your therapist 's. Has this happened in other settings? If he ever avoids accountability or blame,  or uses an expert opinion to make himself look better, this could be what is going on. Also, if he ever puts a self-serving twist on events,  this could be thr case. Lots of people tell their partners something about therapy that is skewed in their favor. I have also heard patients tell their partner I said something I absolutely didn't. \n\n\nTo clarify,  gaslighting is lies and manipulation with the intent of making someone question their sanity . This doesn't seem to be the case, based on your description. \n\nI suggest you share these concerns with your therapist . If possible, it may be better to see separate individual therapists.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gygxax"}, {"question": "It would not be inappropriate in and of itself. However, a card or a note is more common. Personally, I think the homemade bread means more but therapists (and people in general) are sometimes weird about homemade food from clients.", "comment": "My therapist is amazing. I'm seen at the VA. I love to bake bread and my fave recipe makes two loaves. She helped me recognize some unhealthy behaviors to do with my hobbies, like baking and sewing. I want to bring her one of the loaves, partly to demonstrate that I'm back to doing the things I enjoy because of her. Would this be innapropriate? If it is, is there another way to show my appreciation that isn't overstepping boundaries? TIA", "post_id": "bmw2em"}, {"question": "AASECT is the organization for sex therapists. You can find someone through there who will be more qualified to deal with this.  If you have acted on the attraction with someone who is a minor (like under the age of 14 while you are over 14) yes that could be reported. If you have not then no it is not reportable unless you state that you have means (access), intent, and a plan to do act on it. If you yourself have been sexually abused as a minor by someone older that person will be reported (not you).", "comment": "Please check my post history for more info. No this is not some sick joke.\n\nI'm only 16 but I need a therapist. What am I supposed to do about getting treatment when there is mandated reporting? If I open up to a therapist about this they will have to report me, no? I have never looked at or done anything illegal and I never will, but I don't think that stops me from being reported. Please help", "post_id": "fgujm1"}, {"question": "asshole", "comment": "It seems clear to me that hes an asshole but all my life people tell me I'm overly dramatic so for several years I've just avoided confronting people with problems even when it seems clear to me that there is some kind of problem. I try to state things clearly and be reasonable but it almost always ends up worse so I've sort of learned to just keep my head down and my mouth shut.\n\n\nI'm having a hard time in a class I'm taking and most everyone seems to have picked up the material by now. A few people are still struggling besides me but most everyone has it down and is ready for the upcoming test we have.\n\nToday we ended class early because the other people struggling didnt show up and everyone else was good to go. The teacher said \"Anyone who still needs to practice, youre welcome to stay... [my name]\".\n\nSo then he decided we would go to his office and these other 2 girls who needed help with another class hes familiar with came for help in that class. The whole time I just silently did my work while girl1 did hers for the other class and girl2 just bullshitted with him. Thing is, girl2 is pretty damn hot and he was more interested in making veiled sexual innuendos with her than helping me. Like jokingly telling her how he can set her up with an internship at his house. I dont care if he wants her or what they do or dont do, thats none of my business. I just want help because this material is hard for me.\n\nI did a few problems after the one he told me to do because once I finished the first one and went to ask him to give me another one, he was too busy talking with girl2 and I couldnt get a word in so I continued and did 2 more. When I went to show him once I had 3 done, he told me I went too far ahead and wouldnt get the right answer because the 3rd problem requires a different method. He then told me \"You just arent good with numbers, bless you\". After this I just wanted to leave so I said well I have to go meet a friend for lunch. He asked me if it was a girl and I said yes, so he told me to put a belt on (Im no gangster. I always wear a belt and wear clothes correctly but I was in a rush this morning. My pants werent sagging or anything, and its not like my underwear was showing, plus I was wearing a sweatshirt). Thanks for the advice.\n\nHe just always seems to have these remarks toward me where Im the butt of a joke. What really set me off was telling me Im just not good with numbers. Im trying not to let that take my motivation but its hard. I would like to say something like, \"Look I just dont like that so please Id like you to tone it down\" but every time Im in a situation like this it just makes the problem worse. Im either told to stop being a bitch and nothing changes or things become weird and the person makes a big deal of things almost sarcastically like \"Oh Im sorry did I hurt your feelings?\".\n\nThis is why I just keep this shit to myself. I realize I must be wrong because this doesnt seem to be an issue for other people, only me. I just wish I could change and be different but I really dont know how. I suppose I can pretend by not saying anything and continue to just laugh because its what people expect but the truth is that it's a fake laugh and I really havent changed at all. I really hate when this happens and I feel helpless to do anything but just accept it.\n\nIs there anyone here who is like this and if so how do you manage?", "post_id": "5u2hjw"}, {"question": "If they are well defined.\nRecommend: one month. no dating others. meet briefly for coffee1-2/wk", "comment": "My head tells me to break up with my boyfriend but my heart aches at the reality of that therefor I thought a break could be worthwhile to make a more considered decision.\nI\u2019ve (F/36yr) always thought other couples that take breaks are just a step away from a break up but I now find myself wanting one.\nThe backstory:\nMy boyfriend of 9 months (33yr) is complacent towards our relationship, lazy beyond belief and unmotivated to seek adventure in life. I use to nag, then I tried encouragement techniques to no avail and now I am becoming despondent un attracted and extremely moody to him. Is it possible to change this? My gut instinct says no it\u2019s not possible to change but I don\u2019t want to just give up because I love him. I really don't want to give up but are we ultimately doomed?\nI want a break so I can rediscover myself and to make a plan to reset the unhealthy patterns?\nHow should I instigate the break?\nIs there a best way to take a break?\nCould I possibly make it so we only see each other once a week in mutual territory until such things improve? That's my only real thought for now as well as making some more time to do some special things for myself and to encourage him to use the time wisely also.", "post_id": "6zetvl"}, {"question": "Honestly, this is a super tricky question to answer that is going to vary by state and specific licensure, and it is especially complicated and varied *right now*, when a lot of states are offering flex that does not normally exist. (But not all states!)\n\nI know a number of therapists at our local university's Counseling Center and am vaguely aware of their current procedures for the many clients who are currently out-of-state. According to them, many states are simply not accessible in any way (and the Counseling Center is really bending over backwards to help get as many students as possible connected). Further, the therapists I know who are seeing out-of-state telehealth clients have a limited number of states where they are able to practice, and have to keep track of fairly wide range of laws and policies to ensure they are on the up-and-up. \n\nMy clinic has expanded telehealth services to serve the whole state, but no one outside the state.", "comment": "Hello everyone I am interested in how exactly this works. Would they be able to or would they have to get a license for that state? For example would a PA therapist be able to see a client in say Montana? ", "post_id": "hn7dma"}, {"question": "\"Want to grab coffee after finals?\"", "comment": "Hello all, I'm currently in college. I've been very focused on my career and had no interest in girls for a while.\nAbout a month ago, I saw some girl in pottery class working on her pottery. I found her to be strikingly pretty. I meant to stay in the pottery class for 5 minutes and leave but ended up sticking around for 30 minutes when I did not need to be there. I ended up making a flat clay where I basically carved \"Just wanted to tell you that you are *really* pretty.\" I put it next to one of her pots when she left the spot for a second and left.\nMy intention, as a student who's very focused on his career, was to just let her know that she is very pretty, nothing more. I didn't think myself good enough for her anyway.\nAnd then I saw her here and there - I don't think she knew it was me. And then my brain was telling me I shouldn't do this, but I ended up writing a note saying that I think that she is very pretty with my phone number. I went up to her and gave her the note and left.\nI got a text message with her thanking me today.\n\nHere's the problem:\n1) Our final exams are in 4 days, so I can't see myself asking her out.\n2) Finals in 4 days means summer is right around the corner.\n3) I unfortunately lack confidence. I do not know what to text her. Long response about my honest feelings/very short response?\n\nThank you all", "post_id": "694p3b"}, {"question": "Yes.  Most insurance companies will send either by mail or electronically a statement to the person who's name is on the insurance regarding what services the insurance company paid for.  \n\n\nSo in this case, if someone is on their parent's insurance and goes to therapy, the client will have signed a release of information to the insurance company so that the therapist is able to bill the company, or else the client couldn't use their insurance.  \n\n\nOther than a statement showing the dates that the person attended therapy, the parent doesn't have any access to specific records, tx plans, or the therapist's notes.", "comment": "This is a somewhat hypothetical question because I'm not on a parent's insurance, but I saw a post in another subreddit about someone needing therapy for a serious issue and avoiding it because they were on their parents' insurance and didn't want them (or anyone) to know about seeking therapy. It never really occurred to me before that just due to being on someone else's insurance, they could have access to that kind of information. \n\nThe person was over 18 years old. Every therapist I've ever been to has had me fill out confidentiality papers in the beginning about who they can even contact by phone, and certainly never sent any mail or anything to my house, and I always paid any fees there in the office at the time of my appointments. Is there some other way a parent would be made aware of their kid being in therapy just due to the fact that they're using the parents' health insurance to access it?\n\nI wasn't sure if this was the right place to post at first because this seems to be more about insurance, but I figured therapists probably need to be pretty well versed in any potential weak spots in confidentiality. Thanks!", "post_id": "f2a78n"}, {"question": "you have to let go if she's involved with her ex.", "comment": "Me 29M, her 35,\n\nSingle for quiet a long time, a good few years.. \n\nWas talking to this girl who was married for 9 years, divorced couple of years ago, she's got 2 kids older one is 10. she's had a few relationships after her divorce. She did tell me she's got remnants of her ex which she's trying to move on from.. she also said that there's nothing between them anymore.. but she keeps in touch with her ex's as she says she doesn't like breaking ties as they were good friends once. I started liking her since I saw her first time. We were good friends until I felt the need of telling her how I would want to get along with her as in get married to her. I understand she's been through divorce and dealt with few breakups. But what she did a week before made me think about moving on with her. She spent whole weekend with her ex.. tho she said everythings finished between them. It's just friendship. we didn't promise relationship or marriage to each other yet. But we were talking about it. I don't know how I can deal with this situation. She tells me she likes me once and the next moment she says she don't see any future of us together.. it's more like I can't be with her knowing the fact that she's still involved with her ex and I can't be without her as this is the only thing I ever wanted to happen. Have her in my life. ", "post_id": "5kmtz7"}, {"question": ">Worst has to be the numbing feeling. I laugh, I smile. But it doesn\u2019t feel real. I wake up early in the morning before the sunrise, and instead of being excited like I used to, I just feel uninterested. \n\nThat sounds very much like depression. People think depression has to be \"I feel really sad all the time,\" but that isn't the only way to be depressed. Feeling like all the joy and fun has disappeared from life can also be a form of depression.\n\nYou say medication doesn't work but nothing about what hasn't worked. You haven't tried therapy. I urge you to give at least one, and maybe both, a shot (or another shot).", "comment": "I\u2019ve been conflicted on whether or not I\u2019m faking this whole depression. I know it sounds absurd and offensive. Why would anyone want to pretend and act depressed? But I denied my mental health so much that now I\u2019m not able to tell what feels real and what doesn\u2019t. So I\u2019ve been stuck with this mindset that I\u2019m not really depressed. And that I\u2019ll wake up back to normal, but everyday nothing really changes. Worst has to be the numbing feeling. I laugh, I smile. But it doesn\u2019t feel real. I wake up early in the morning before the sunrise, and instead of being excited like I used to, I just feel uninterested. \n\nMedication doesn\u2019t really work. I haven\u2019t really made the effort to talk to a therapist. And sometimes when I do vent with a close friend, it only feels satisfying for a bit. Then nothing. I really can\u2019t understand why in a years time I changed so much. Does anyone know if it\u2019s possible for someone to not be actually depressed or have anxiety, and just pretend they do because they believe so much that they have it?\n\nObligatory mention of my age, sex, height and medication: 21, Male, 5\u20199\u201d, 145 pounds, anti depressants and Buspirone for anxiety.", "post_id": "duxvor"}, {"question": "Also please  try to get help for you and your friend. You don\u2019t have to live unhappy. ", "comment": "when me and my friend did a blood compact, it was her first time cutting herself... and I basically forced her into it. ", "post_id": "7jrv0i"}, {"question": "Potential serious communication flaws here. Might need a professional to sort out dynamics.", "comment": "So there is a guy that I used to be into, but were only ever friends and he made that clear a while back. However, we got closer after the fact, and by two months ago were studying together and talking on social media rather frequently.\n\nWe had a fight over the fact that I felt he was taking advantage of my willingness to help him, as over time it began to feel like he was just being nice to me when I could do something for him. I tried to ask him to soften things a little and for example say thank you when I helped him with something, because I didn't like feeling like I was obliged to do things for him.\n\nHe apologized and was distant after this. I tried to ask him if he wanted to talk about the situation and he more or less blew up on me, saying we were only ever class friends, that the fight was stupid, I was being dramatic, and he didn't want to talk to me outside of class anymore or bring up the fight.\n\nI apologized in return and told him he could talk to me whenever he felt comfortable. He proceeded to ignore me for a week, then slowly he tried to be more and more friendly. He'd talk to me more in class, sometimes acknowledge me if he ran into me in the library, occasionally ask me for help - all going against what he said. And it's awkward. He is visibly nervous when he does it.\n\nI want to get the stupid elephant out of the room but I don't know how. It doesn't seem like he has the guts to do it. I kind of want to text him and ask him if I struck a nerve in that fight, because I feel like I did but he won't admit it. And I also won't ever get him to talk in person, so that's not a possibility. He's also moving away soon so I just want to make my peace and move on.\n\n**tl;dr**: He told me not to talk to him about a fight we had, and is going back on his word that he wouldn't talk to me. I feel like something needs to be said but I don't know how to go about it, and he is too awkward to ever admit what is wrong.", "post_id": "67hco9"}, {"question": "Have you tried having an open and honest conversation with your gf about why you blocked them and why it makes you uncomfortable? That you value the relationship you have with her and what your concerns are with the one girl that ended a previous relationship and why what she did had that impact?", "comment": "I had two old friends that I was close too, both of which happened to be girls. Shortly after my gf started dating 6 months ago I realized that they were pretty toxic so I ended up blocking them. My gf wouldn't however, she did finally end up removing them but only after I threw a fit. However, one of them has a class in the same building and started talking to my gf again. She ended up adding my gf back on snapchat, my gf lied about it and didn't tell me even after I asked her(before I saw the name on her phone). I only know because I happened to see her name while my gf showed me a snap chat. I did not go through her phone. These girls cause a lot of drama and have ended relationships before so I didn't want them to affect this one. I also went on a date with both of them so I figured she would be sort of happy I blocked them. I have not asked her to block or stop talking to any other people, besides these two and they weren't even her friends they were mine. Anytime I ask her now to block them she asks me if I'm hiding something but I'm not, it's just that these two girls have ended relationships before.Am I in the wrong asking her to block these two and not befriends with them or am I being controlling?", "post_id": "f7m95i"}, {"question": "Hello! Therapist here.\n\nI personally don't recommend online therapy for your age group. It's quite different than in-person work and developmentally there are a lot of things that can be missed if your counseling relationship is solely through an online platform. Online therapy is good for certain types of specific mild concerns, social phobias, physical difficulties in transport to an office, or living in a rural area with few in-person options available. I would not start there if I were you.\n\nIf you are 17, are you still in high school? If so, your school may have some resources available to you that you can talk to a professional through without parents specifically knowing. It likely won't be a full counseling process, but you may be able to get a better idea of what's going on so that your next choices about treatment will be more informed.\n\nAlso, check your state laws: some states allow minors of a certain age to see a mental health professional for a certain number of sessions without parental consent if the concerns are grave enough to warrant it. In my state, for example, a minor age 13-17 can reach out to a designated agency/place/advocacy group to speak with a mental health professional without needing parental consent if it is due to a mental health crisis or acute substance use issue. What counts as either of those is defined by the minor. That might be a possible option for you as a very short term solution.\n\nI would encourage though, trying to have a more thorough discussion with your parents and see if they will at least entertain the idea. I've had some of my 17 year olds come in with parents just to sign the consent forms and then engage with me entirely on their own.", "comment": "I'm fed up with saying I can solve problems on my own, because it clearly isn't working. I know there's something wrong with me, and I don't know what it is. I need to speak with a professional about it, but I can't without consent from a parent.\n\nI can't tell my parents about any of this because they still treat me like I'm a child. I'm turning 18 this year, but they're still gonna treat my mental state like it's something I'm making up or that it's just hormones. It's not, and I know it.\n\nLegally I'm supposed to get consent from an adult before I can do online counseling. I need help, but I don't know where to get it.", "post_id": "em1qzk"}, {"question": "Check out some mindfulness apps, Breathe is a personal favorite.  They have lots of guided breathing sessions.  Also I think breathing with your diaphragm may help too.  ", "comment": "I\u2019ve been really stressed over the past couple of days because of future travel plans. I\u2019ve noticed when I have a lot of anxiety I breathe more from my chest, it\u2019s kind of like a tight feeling where it\u2019s hard to catch my breath. Is there a way to deal with this? It\u2019s an awful feeling when it\u2019s happening. ", "post_id": "9jfa1x"}, {"question": "Some demographics would probably help. Usually it's the GP you'd first turn to, though.", "comment": "I want and know I need to start receiving some treatment for my mental health but I'm not sure where to start.\n\nI've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and no longer feel like it is manageable on my own. I'm not sure who I should go to first. \n\nShould I go to a general practitioner and get guidance what to do from there?\n\nShould I start with a therapist or counselor? A psychologist? How do i go about finding the right one?\n\nAny advice is welcome, and thank you very much for your time. ", "post_id": "5vtnkq"}, {"question": "I want to forgive myself for hurting the people close to me when I'm drunk.  I want to forgive myself for.. not being the person I feel like I \"should be\".  I want to forgive myself for struggling to cope in healthier ways. ", "comment": "Trying out something new!\n\nJournalling is a big part of my recovery. I love the process of writing and it helps me find perspective. \n\nThe mods had this idea to do a \"weekend writing prompt.\" Every week we will be giving a different prompt.\n\nYou don't have to share it here, but you are very welcome to!\n\n**Today's Prompt**\n\n**What is something that you want to forgive yourself for?**", "post_id": "43hm70"}, {"question": "Acting as though your body is lovable is an emotional risk for a lot of people, but it\u2019s the only way to get the love (and fun sex whatever that you might prefer). \n\nYou said: I\u2019m scared. \n\nHe said: don\u2019t let that stop you. \n\nSo maybe don\u2019t. \n\nAll serious relationships lead to flabby 80 year olds pounding skin anyways, so enjoy what you\u2019ve got. ", "comment": "So to skip straight to the point, I have saggy boobs. Not like a slight sag, but major sag - nothing hot imo. I'm in a serious relationship that's lasted for a couple months and I'm real scared and have no idea what to do about revealing my chest to him for the first time. Thing is, I asked him last night about how he feels about saggy boobs and apparently he's really into them? Something about how he's into MILFs and MILFs tend to have saggy boobs? He did sound completely genuine and honest and he'd never lie to  me. It might sound strange, it does to me at least, but it's given me an almost little bit of hope to the situation. I kind of don't believe him and I'm still real scared to reveal myself to him, even if he is into saggy boobs, but idk what to do. I'm considering even waiting a couple years and just getting a boob job. If he actually ends up liking them then what's the point? I'm not sure what I should do here really.  :/", "post_id": "8t77zn"}, {"question": "Rejection is a normal part of life and dating.  It's going to happen to you a lot so long as you actually keep trying.  It stings a little less after it's happened to you a ton of times.  It also hurts less when you realize a few things.\n\n\n1.  There is no 1 measuring stick for attractiveness.  What is attractive to you, might not be attractive at all to others, and vice versa.  If someone rejects you based on appearance, this doesn't mean you aren't attractive or there's something wrong with you, it just means you weren't attractive to them meanwhile other women may find you very attractive.  \n\n\n2.  If you don't know the person you are approaching, them rejecting you may have nothing to do with you at all.  They may already be in a committed relationship.  They may have just gotten out of a bad relationship and not be interested in dating right now.  They may just be having a really stressful or bad day and not want to talk to somebody they don't know.  While certainly sometimes it is, other times it's not always about you and keeping this in mind can take the sting out of it.\n\n\nPersonally, I don't think the way she handled it was very rude.  I think it just seems that way because of the blow to your ego.  \n\n\nAs others have said, remember that many women get cat called and hit on all the time.  Many times, if they reject the person's advances, they're either insulted, threatened, or at worst attacked.  When I was your age I knew this happened, but didn't think it was super common because well... I was a pretty decent guy and all of my guy friends were pretty decent guys, so it seemed exaggerated.  \n\nLet me tell you, after making friends with lots of women, this shit happens so much and so often it's really disgusting and scary.  Just keep that in mind when it comes to situations like this.  \n\n\nLastly, you get to feel however you feel.  If you feel insulted, if you need to rant, if you feel angry, sad, whatever.... you get to feel that way.  Just make sure you're doing something healthy to deal with that which doesn't harm yourself or anyone else.", "comment": "So i (17M) liked this girl (17F) and approached her to make conversation (I told her that i wanted to know her) and she simply just said sorry and walked off, i dont know if it just is a rant or what but that was rude and i did not like that, what should i do?", "post_id": "ep0lz4"}, {"question": "Don't tell her she's beautiful.  Just ask her how school is going and what's she's been up to and RELAX.", "comment": "So here's the situation, the girl I like is my sisters friend, my sister is 21 I'm 20 and her friend is 20, theirs a party coming up soon and myself and my friends and all my sisters friends are going to be their, and the girl I like. But since I have a close relationship with my sister she knows I'm interested in her friend and she said she would introduce her to me, so here's where I need help, I've had girlfriends and know how to talk to girls but for some reason I can't explain I just really like this girl and can't stop thinking about her, and I don't know what to say to her when the day of the party comes, I was thinking of telling her that she is pretty or beautiful but I don't want to be too forward, and I really don't want to creep her out and ruin the whole situation cause I want to make it work. This is strange to me cause I think I'm actually in love with her and in past relationships I was so easy going cause I think I wasn't as passionate and didn't actually truly love them as much as I love this girl. I need help!! Any replies are appreciated and thanks if you took the time to read the post. ", "post_id": "709x7h"}, {"question": "I want resources, but I know I in fact just need to do what I know I need to do.\n\nNeed to have more time for myself and stop pressuring myself with guilt. Need to be more assertive with my husband when I'm not coping.\n\nIt's mother's day tomorrow and I'm going to start this all in the morning. I can't continue like this. I need help.", "comment": "Since Google is for technical reasons unable to distinguish articles about how to parent children with ADHD and articles about how to parent when you yourself have ADHD, is there anyone here who has some good resources on the topic?\n\nBooks, blog posts, videos, everything welcome.", "post_id": "bn0hyj"}, {"question": "That sort of thing happens to me and makes me extremely underweight, the weight drops off pretty quick. Sometimes when I have no desire or willingness to eat anything I can get myself to at least drink something caloric like a smoothie or milkshake. I'm told that if you can force yourself to eat you should and that it'll help. But I rarely do that when I'm feeling as you are. Be patient with yourself and do what you can.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "447t5t"}, {"question": "[ThunderBall](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15m_i6QPAXE)", "comment": "I become hyperfocused by reading things I am interested in online and I don't do things around my house. ", "post_id": "xbg97"}, {"question": "The worst part is that it convinces you there is something to be scared of and then BAM, your worried about your throat closing up or your butt opening up. ", "comment": "ADHD, GAD and a major depression is what my doctor diagnosed. And it basically evolved in the same order. \n\nI'm unemployed for almost 2 years now. Not just am I broke but I really want to work, want to earn some money and do something else than just sitting around 24/7.\n\nI have a CS education and worked as a software developer. Obviously there are enough jobs I could apply for with this education. Even becoming a freelancer could be an option.\n\nBut I'm too anxious. I need someone who constantly tells me I'm doing fine or w/e or I feel very uncomfortable because I think I'm doing everything wrong / everyone dislikes me because I'm a lazy douche. \n\nDuring my last job I tried really hard to be *normal*. But I could tell myself all day long I'm doing fine it didn't help. Lost the job basically because of my *weird* behavior.\n\nI mean I know that I can't ask for a job where everyone is nice to me and tells me that I'm doing fine. \n\nI have no idea how to get back into work. I'm actually to anxious to write an application. \n\n\nwell. whatever. thank you for reading. had to let off some steam.", "post_id": "6bee23"}, {"question": "Please don\u2019t leave. Relapse is part of recovery; I don\u2019t know anyone who has gotten recovery without trying and \u201cfailing\u201d first. \n\nEach slip is an opportunity to learn. It is not because you\u2019re not good enough or capable enough; it\u2019s because addiction is a bitch and kicking it\u2019s ass takes time and usually multiple attempts before it \u201cclicks\u201d. \n\nIf anyone here decided to quit and on their first attempt was able to put down the drink and never look back, they can correct me. My hat is off to them. But most of us are like you: we quit, we slipped, we felt demoralized and rinsed and repeated. This is exactly where you belong. \n\nMay I ask: did you get a sponsor in AA? I personally hate AA, but getting a sponsor was what finally stopped my slips. It\u2019s worth a try when everything else has failed. \n\nChin up my friend. You CAN do this. IWDWYT ", "comment": "I drank yesterday. I'm trying not to today. I'm sorry guys, but I don't think I belong in this group. I don't know what to do. Therapy hasn't helped, AA hasn't helped, rehab hasn't helped. I obviously can't pull myself out of the hole I created. Am I just destined for this forever? I know it's no ones fault but my own, but I'm so angry at the world. I feel like I'm just done. I can't get away from myself. I'm sorry if I'm just being depressing and I wish everyone the best of luck. Nothing has helped me. Am I just being a wuss?", "post_id": "7sru7y"}, {"question": "I may be able to offer some insight here.  I'm a (male) licensed therapist.\n\nI think guys are more likely to make the mistake of thinking that love is JUST an emotion that we don't have any control over. It's either there or it isn't.\n\nWomen seem to be more likely to understand that love is more than just an emotion and we can actively change how we feel about another person with some work.  Unfortunately, the mistake they usually make is believing that the work should come from the male in the relationship. ", "comment": "I saw [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fti75/did_i_make_a_huge_mistake/) this morning, and it got me thinking that you often see guys in these long relationships where they suddenly seem to realize that they'll never love the person they're with, but you rarely see women posting saying they've dated someone for three years, and just don't see a future with them.  Is it a gender difference?  I feel as though I know (I am female) pretty quickly whether or not I would be interested in a person and if I'm not or it seems like I never will, I don't go further with it.  I just don't really understand how you someone ends up being with someone for years and years and then realizes they'll never actually love them.\n\n**Edit**: I would also add that I feel as though it is men who often feel as though women are not \"bringing enough intellectually to the table.\"  This is another aspect of things that I think is pretty quickly discernible, and it's strange that several months or years down the line, you suddenly realize that it's a thing.  \n\n**Edit 2**: This is also mostly based on posts in this and other relationshippy subreddits, where I feel as though I see these things played out.  Someone ought to conduct a study where they characterize the nature of posts by men and women in a particular subreddit over a year or something.  We might be able to learn something.", "post_id": "ftq7u"}, {"question": "My knowledge of pancreatic cancer isn't extensive, but your description is bizarre.\n\nPancreatic cancer is rare in young people, and the nonspecific symptoms of tightness, nausea, and weight loss (you don't say how much total, and 3 pounds is often without measurement error) don't indicate cancer, much less pancreatic cancer. If this were concerning for cancer I would look for other types first. And for pancreatic cancer there is no good reason to use MRI as the first imaging modality. Ultrasound and CT are usually first choices.\n\nI am concerned that you requested this from an unethical imaging center and paid out of pocket, so they just took your money. This is neither a differential diagnosis nor a workup that makes sense to me.", "comment": "Hi i am a 25 year old male that recently got an mri for fear of pancreatic cancer.  I was in panic mode so i got it at the first place i could.  They did not offer with contrast or not.  I am about 5'10 and i was 186 pounds but i have dropped 3 in the last week alone.  I am constantly having back tightness as well as abdominal tightness and nausea/loss of appetite.  Is not having contrast a big deal when it comes to detecting pancreatic cancer?  My report came back normal for my whole abdomen.  Do i need to get another mri with contrast?", "post_id": "8y686n"}, {"question": "As a psychologist who has worked in prisons, max-security hospitals, inpatient units, and now back to prison...mainly places where the chances of me being hurt or attacked are greater than the general public.  \n\nIt has become a habit for me, at work, home, in the community.  Similar to you, I like to face the door, I want to see who is coming in and out, as well as with whom.  I prefer to sit near an exit, I'll think about where I might hide if an active shooter entered.  I've had lots of training, I'm around a lot of former military, and I model them and they give me tips.  But yea, I definitely have that 'f-off' facial expression.  I am not physically intimidating, lol.  \n\nTo me, I say it's normal because of what I do for work.  Same for you.  I don't want to lose that heightened sense of awareness, it hasn't done me wrong yet.  \n\nWhat may be normal for me might not be normal for you.  It depends on the extent to which these behaviors negatively impact your daily functioning.  Do they interfere with work, family, home, that type of thing?", "comment": "I've worked in the defense industries and military since I was 19 and the last couple years has had me deal with many guys from the special operations community. I believe I may have developed some strange habits or tricks from the nature of my work but I wonder if these are just normal protective instincts.\n\nOverall when I'm with friends and family I can calm down and relax, but when I'm out in public my demeanor changes dramatically. I've been told that many times my face becomes either stoic or contorted to convey a \"piss off, don't fuck with me\" attitude. I continually plan exit routes and profile each person for their relative \"threat\" to me or the people I'm with.  My friends make fun of me, but when I come into a restaurant but I have to face the door and I'll still \"scan\". People standing or walking within 3 ft of me and especially directly behind me drive me insane. \n\nOverall I dont think I'm paranoid, but I cant get my heightened awareness down sometimes. When I try to stop these behaviors my stress level goes up even more. For reference I dont remember any significant trauma and I can't get into what I do for work, but I haven't been in combat yet. I'm a pretty big dude and physically could overpower most people.\n\nNot looking for a diagnosis, but if anyone has had this issue or know something that might help, please let me know.", "post_id": "a4dt57"}, {"question": "Especially considering the relative rapid onset, it would be important that you call his doctor ASAP. ", "comment": "My grandfather, 99 years old, reported to the hospital Saturday with pneumonia. And it was weird. His second or third day there was shockingly lucid. He's normally very lucid. Like, he'll know who I am, recognize me, be excited to see me, but not really engage me in conversation. A little distant. It's been like this for the last couple years.\n\nBut that day at the hospital, he knew who I was and telling me stories, reliving these experiences that we shared (and a few we didn't). He was watching the news (which he normally does with a religious obsession).\n\nNext day though, he got a little more out of it and yesterday was really delirious, hallucinating like crazy. Figuring that the disorientation of being in the hospital was the cause and since his lungs were mostly cleared up, we took him home.\n\nAnd for a little while, he was fine. Now though, it's going on 430am and he is tripping balls. He's flipping out about children in danger, talking to people who aren't there. And talking non-stop at full volume.\n\nI have literally no idea how to interact with him right now while he's hallucinating. When friends trip, they know they're tripping. I don't think he knows he's tripping. Explaining to him that the things that he's seeing are not real both seems obviously wrong to me.\n\nI have no idea how to help him come back.", "post_id": "412f7m"}, {"question": "I will be finishing my master's degree and starting a new career path. I'm also looking to check out different meetings and find new ways to deepen my spiritual practice. And, I'd like to bring more joy and fun into my day-to-day life rather than continuing to put it off with \"once I finish doing *XYZ* I'll finally try this\".", "comment": "I have found that putting the kibbosh on my bottom line behaviors has given me more free time. Suddenly, I'm no longer longer spending so many hours obsessing and planning and spinning my wheels... Instead, I have to find healthy ways to occupy myself and positive coping skills to keep myself busy when I get antsy.\n\nSince I've committed to not dating for a year while I focus on my recovery, it really opens wide some possibilities for me. How will I spend this time?\n\nPersonally, I want to finish my undergrad degree in 2017.\n\nI also want to choose a grad program and apply to it.\n\nI'd like to learn to meditate, too, instead of wanting to crawl out of my skin when I'm alone with myself.\n\nI want to go to meetings (at least 4 a month, hopefully a lot more) and to work on my codependency issues. \n\nI also want to try taking a short trip alone - not to visit anyone - just to prove to myself that I am company enough.\n\nFinally, I am determined to make it one full year without dating.\n\nWhat do YOU aim to do in 2017??", "post_id": "5kt324"}, {"question": "When I got sober and had some time, I felt the same way. I had no idea who I was, what my principles were, what I believed in morally and politically; any of it. I learned so much about myself in the first few years it was amazing. Discovering who I really am was a journey that really made my sobriety that much better. Then I later threw it away, but that\u2019s another story all together. When I was in rehab, there was a guy who kept saying \u201cI look forward to the death of self.\u201d It was his mantra or some shit. It made a ton of sense. So, I would say embrace the death of your old self, and buckle up and look forward to learning who you REALLY are. It\u2019s a hell of a journey.", "comment": "Alcohol was so entrenched in my life ever since I was a kid. Everything 'fun' my parents ever did revolved around alcohol. Having a dinner party just meant getting drunk over a plate of food. Going to see family meant getting drunk with the family. The only time I ever saw my miserable parents happy was when they where drunk. When I got older everything I did for fun revolved around alcohol. Going to see a band meant getting drunk in front of a stage. Going to game at my friends house meant getting drunk in front of a controller. Visiting girlfriends family meant getting drunk with in laws. All my life the idea of people who didnt drink was mocked by every adult I knew, wine and beer where the ultimate joy, the greatest thing in the world, the only way any one could have fun. Looking back it's pathetic. My inner dialogue still equates everything considered fun relaxing or celebratory to alcohol. I still think to myself I need a 'treat' on the weekends. Treats are what you use to stop dogs defecating in the house. I'm scared of the unknown. Since the age of 15 I've been known as the party animal, it was my identity. I'm now an adult and haven't got a clue who I really am. If I'm not the beer chugging, weed smoking, wacky party guy then just who am I? Looking in the mirror as a full grown man and not knowing who I see freaks me out. The old me isn't there he was an illusion but I wore that mask for so long I believed it was my own face. I don't know who I am but I guess its time to find out.", "post_id": "cy86vd"}, {"question": "Besser van der Kolk studies developmental trauma and the longterm effects it has on the body. Trauma does not have to look like physical abuse or neglect. It can be years of passive aggressive, toxic, and disorganized behavior by caregivers - and still take a huge toll on us and out bodies. I recommend reading \"the body keeps the score\". it may help you understand and accept yourself for who you are:) stay safe and sending hugs your way. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53RX2ESIqsM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53RX2ESIqsM)", "comment": "having a bit of a breakdown rn over absolutely nothing. i'm lucky in many ways, i have many people's ideal life, but i'm always having anxiety attacks and dissociating and i just want a reason for it so i feel like less of an overly sensitive idiot\n\nedit: holy shit this is a lot of replies. i would reply to them all but there's just so many. thank you all for being so supportive, i definitely feel better about this.", "post_id": "fp4qih"}, {"question": "I am not a psychologist, but a licensed counselor.  However, I can empathize with your thoughts because I always wonder if I am meant to be here since I struggle so much with my own social anxiety.  But I think that is what helps in a sense because I can see what my clients feel from their perspective.  Also, as far as doing the job itself, I just take it day by day, moment by moment.  Sometimes I do stutter and make social blunders, but I push through.  I think about the people I am helping and that motivates me.  Good luck to you! ", "comment": "Hello\n\nI know that maybe it sounds contradictory to ask this in this forum ... \n\nI always look for jobs where I do not have to have contact with people, but I do not see myself studying something else rather than psychology. \nI do not see myself working in something that is not a social reason, I want to help people, I am a good listener and I feel that I am a good adviser (although I know that a psychologist is not a counselor), I love volunteering and helping children and people in need. \n\nBut I am very afraid of not being able to work well with the profession, not being a good psychologist, not being able to address groups or things like that. What do you think? Is there a psychologist here or someone who is studying that?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "avsksh"}, {"question": "Antipsychotics like aripiprazole (Abilify) do carry a black box warning for risk when given to someone with dementia, but most do not have any increased risk of dementia that I'm aware of. Any risk would probably be from anticholinergic properties, which Abilify doesn't have.\n\nYou don't have to stop taking Abilify to get treatment for hepatitis C.\n\nThis idea mostly doesn't make sense to me. It's possible that something is getting conveyed wrong through your mom, but it's also possible that your mom's doctor is doing something that doesn't make sense, or at least doesn't make sense from what you could present here.", "comment": "Sex: female\n\nAge: 59\n\nWeight: ~130-140lbs\n\nHeight: 5\u20194\n\nRace: Swedish, Irish, born and raised in the US\n\nMeds: Abilify (taken for 20 years or more)\n\nConditions: Hep C, Osteoarthritis, depression, ptsd, schizoaffective disorder. (Her siblings have bipolar and schizophrenia)\n\nComplaint: What should my mom do? Is there a similar med she could switch to? \n\nDuration: A few days ago my moms doc told her they should stop her Abilify. \n\nLocation: Wasilla, Alaska, just moved from Juneau, Alaska\n\nIm fine with the idea of taking my mom off her Abilify if it means a lesser chance of Dementia. We\u2019re trying to get her a specialist for her Hep C so she can get treatment (also has had hep c for ~20 years) so i imagine she would also have to stop her abilify for the treatment anyway. \n\nI just dont want her to get so depressed and irritable, like when she misses a dose or two. Honestly, it ruins the day for everyone (i love her tho, she is normally very sweet and kind). \n\nIs there a similar med to abilify? Anything we could suggest to the doc or bring up?", "post_id": "botjdz"}, {"question": "If a guy decides to cut you off because of that, it simply means he didn't want to be friends in the first place and was only interested in a romantic relationship.  \n\n\nEven though it sucks, isn't it better to find that out early rather than investing a lot of time and energy into a friendship only to find out months down the line that the guy was fantasizing about you and will cut and run as soon as he realizes he's not getting into your pants?\n\n\nBeing honest and up front is key.  Also, a lot of guys get blinders on with stuff like this so it's best to be direct and not to be subtle as they may not pick up on hints that they don't want to hear.", "comment": "Once before I have been very up front and direct and it backfired. An old friend of mine started calling me cutie, lil' momma, darling. I said \"I'm sorry, but it's really making me uncomfortable when you call me those cutesy names.\", He ended up blocking me on everything, sending me one last message telling me I changed, etc., etc. I guess he wasn't much of a friend?\n\nBut right now there is a guy I started talking to who I remember from high school. We have really interesting conversation and it's so refreshing. But now he started calling me \"Chica\" and mentioned I was cute before. Like, we only started talking last week and I really want to develop a friendship with this dude. I'm also fresh out of a relationship as well. We are going to hang out this weekend. How would I go about telling him how I want to just chill and be friends. I'm not in the right headspace to get romantic if that's what he's getting at. He has two sisters so I'm not sure if he just talks like that. Other than that everything is great.", "post_id": "dz136o"}, {"question": "Not a \"Sugar Daddy\"  You are being groomed for a fakecheck scam.\n\nHe is going to convince you that he is legit and will offer to pay your bills for you.  He will ask you for your account numbers to your bank.  you will give them to him because he sounds so great. He will put money in your account.  You will pay your bills with the money.  you will think it's amazing.  You will think he's legit.\n\nIn a few days or weeks, your bank will notify you that the money that was deposited was reversed because it came from a stolen account.\n\nWorse, the bills you paid - they will hit you with a \"reversed payment\" fee on top of late fees for paying them with money you didn't really have.\n\nEven *worse* is that the \"Daddy\" will deposit MORE than enough in your account and ask you to send him the balance with gift cards, which, you'll do, because he gave you way too much money and he's oh, so generous.\n\nYou'll be on the hook 100% for all the money that was dumped into your accounts plus overdraft fees, plus the fees from the bills you paid but now owe again due to the money being taken from them.\n\nHe wants you to be home and calling from a home phone/landline so he can easily trace you/find your address and then threaten/blackmail you when you don't send him gift cards.  Either that or he wants you to somewhere where you are relaxed/let your guard down so you are more trusting, less suspicious, feel relaxed, and therefore he can work his sweet talk on you to get you to believe him.  It\n\nIt's a VERY common \"Sugar Scam\"  Block him, move on to someone real who wants to meet in person.\n\nPro Tip: \"Platonic\" Sugar Daddies are unicorns.  You don't have one, even if you think you do.  It's simply a painted mule.\n\nPro Tip #2: NEVER EVER use your real phone number, EVER, and do NOT iChat.  Get a  burner number like Google Voice or 2nd Line.  NEVER EVER give out ANY real contact info, EVER.  Not until you meet in person and have done so several times and trust that person.  Burner numbers, disposable emails....and NEVER let them pick you up.  Always drive yourself or Uber!", "comment": "Okay so Im trying out to be a sugar baby. I have an account in seeking arrangement and I\u2019ve had it for about a week now. I\u2019ve talk to a good amount of men here and there and one stuck out the most so I started to text him. Once I gave him my number and when he texted me I went to look at his profile one last time and all of a sudden it\u2019s inactive. He only wants to call, he sends like four word sentences. And when he texted he asked if I\u2019ve done an arrangement before, I\u2019d I have a job and go to school and who I bank with (Not what my banking info is) We\u2019ve only called twice for only about 5 mins each, he keeps asking every time if I\u2019m calling from home which the first time I wasn\u2019t, he asked me about my bills and then he said he\u2019ll call me when I get home. Then he calls me and this time I\u2019m home, he asks about three times if I was home and I say yes. He was late to call by 30 mins so he cut the call short said he will call me the next day. He says it\u2019s only platonic and no sex so I\u2019m confused on what exactly he wants. And I\u2019m curious why does he always want me to be home ?", "post_id": "e8nad1"}, {"question": "It's unlikely that you're having side effects from overdose per se a month out. However, you could certainly still be having fallout from being very sick, including still being very sick. The fever is very concerning. Being comatose for days and pneumonia (aspiration pneumonia?) are not small things.\n\nYou should see a doctor. If your fever is significant, you should probably go to an ER, ideally at the hospital that first treated you.", "comment": "43, female, 150#, Deep South. I take Lamictal 100mg and Wellbutrin 150mg once daily. \n\nOn March 3 I OD\u2019d on klonopin and narco. I spent 6 days in a coma and another 7 fighting pneumonia. \n\nMy cognitive abilities came back very slowly but I\u2019m having some physical issues. \n\nI\u2019m always cold, I\u2019m never hungry. I\u2019m having extreme difficulty staying hydrated. I\u2019ve developed severe nausea and I\u2019m running fever. \n\nI feel so miserable right now. Could these be lingering side effects? ", "post_id": "88wyxt"}, {"question": "DEFINE what you want yourselves to be", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "64ja81"}, {"question": "I once read an article about the Golden Gate Bridge being the most jumped-off bridge in America or something. There's a volunteer group that patrols the bridge, doing their best to prevent suicides. One member of this group was quoted as saying something like \"I was surprised to learn that suicidal people aren't just crazy people, but real people who are suffering.\" \n\nSeriously? There are people to whom suicidal thoughts are so completely foreign that they are surprised to learn we're \"not just crazy people\"? How is it possible to go through life without ever feeling that despair?", "comment": "I have suicidal thoughts thousands of times a day.  When I walk around and see the expressions on other people's faces, I always assume this is the same for them.  I guess my depression causes me to project my own feelings on everyone elses.  But I must say, the more I've researched depression the more I've realized that suicidal thinking is rather rare and dangerous.  I saw one statistic that said about 3% of americans had suicidal thoughts in the last year.  This seems very low, and I supposed my outlook on life is so warped that I have a hard time imagining the majority of people can make it through a day without imagining hanging themselves. Can anybody relate?", "post_id": "18xqd1"}, {"question": "I think it's totally acceptable to mention to her that you are a tutor.  Give her your information and tell her to contact you if you want any help.  Do you tutor as a job for money?  If so, you should get some sort of business cards.  \n\n\nIf your true intent is to help her and isn't romantic, then just be all business about it.  If your intent is romantic, I'd say forget the whole tutoring thing and just ask her out on a date (ie.  Well when you're all done how about we meet up to go do ______________ to celebrate?)", "comment": "I frequently visit a supermarket and the girl behind the register and me have small talk all day long. She told me she has a resit for a history exam which she struggles with. Now I have been giving tutoring in English (speaking) and History for about two years now. \n\nWould it be okay if I offered to tutor her and give her my phone number? If so, how could I best offer it? \n\nI'm afraid it will come over as flirting, which isn't my intention.", "post_id": "emv2pu"}, {"question": "Never heard of that one before though it's not impossible.  Maybe try taking a pregnancy test just to be sure?  Well.... 2-3 days not the craziest, but definitely if a few more days go by.  ", "comment": "Hey everyone! I recently stopped taking Lexapro after taking it for about 3.5-4 months. Before that, I was taking Prozac for about 6 months. \nBefore this period of antidepressants, I was on a cocktail of daily klonopin, celexa, and a few others...\n\nMy point is, I have been through the withdrawal process a few times, and unfortunately am aware of all the withdrawal affects of the drugs.\n\nMost recently, when I stopped taking the Lexapro, I experienced new symptoms and was just wondering if anyone has some insight or anyone has experience similar issues. The main issue is I am about 2 or 3 days late for my period. I couldn't find much information browsing around, but is this a common symptom associated with withdrawal? I have also been experiencing some GI issues (upset stomach, etc...)\n\nNothing else in my life (diet or exercise habits, stress, etc) has changed except for stopping Lexapro and all SSRIs/antidepressants, so I guess I was just wondering if these were common symptoms?\n\nThank you all!", "post_id": "6xjdiq"}, {"question": "[https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/integrative-medicine/herbs/ashwagandha](https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/integrative-medicine/herbs/ashwagandha)\n\nIt does not help with cancer. It does not clearly help with anything. The trouble with supplements is that regulation is so poor that they are regularly either contaminated with toxins, fail to contain the purported ingredient, or both.\n\nI would recommend against it, but it's probably not going to cause harm. Let your doctors know if you do take it.", "comment": "Last year I dealt with Testicular Cancer. Had my right nut removed. Things were fine. Well, recently they might have found some cancer cells in my lower abdomen and I may have to start chemotherapy. So, I'm worried.\n\nMy mother got me these Herbal pills called \"Himilayan Ashwagandha\". She said it helps with cancer and that she takes them for other reasons. She wouldn't. give me a reason she took them. I love her but she sometimes is suspectible to bullshit. Whereas, I am not.\n\nAre these pills at all valid? Or are they just glorified placebos?\n\n​\n\n28M  \n260 LBS", "post_id": "gy3ch9"}, {"question": "Lol yes that is my preferred state of existence. A fly on the wall, but also doing my own thing", "comment": "I feel uneasy when alone. And I notice that having others around when I'm fully engaged in my own world (music, laptop, etc) is the best I've ever felt. Like a mutual unacknowledgment. So I'm talking small coffee shops with people in pairs engaged in each other talking low on a slow day, etc. I don't want people to look at me, be too loud, or talk to me or acknowledge me an any way. I just want them there while I enjoy my own world.", "post_id": "c3hl0l"}, {"question": "The other two answers are probably right. I'd add sleep paralysis. ", "comment": "Okay, so last night, I was using my smartphone to watch scary videos till 12am. Then I've decided that it is enough for today, I need to go to sleep. However, since I was unable to sleep, I begin hallucinating a smartphone in my hands and with earphones connect to my ears. It felt very real and I hallucinate watching a scary video and getting \"paralysed\" by it. My brain feels weird, as if it is dreaming but I soon realised my eyes are actually open, it is not a dream when my roommate got up and went to the toilet. \n\nThis is the third time that such similar incidents happened, which I think it is caused by sleep deprivation. I've never hallucinated during the day before, it's always after midnight.\n\nIs there anything wrong with me?", "post_id": "25cgu1"}, {"question": "Pregnancy is extremely unlikely in this situation.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5132oy"}, {"question": "Not my area of expertise, and these are questions you should ask the doctors involved. Generally, I would expect them to be cautious if medications are harmful to a baby without CF and they're not certain, but there's nothing that immediately jumps out as dangerous in pancrelipase (Creon), salt, or vitamins.\n\nThe sweat test isn't a test of her body's salt; that would require a blood test. Instead, it test's her body's ability to reabsorb salt from sweat, which is abnormal in CF, producing saltier than normal sweat. (With or without CF, sweat isn't part of normal salt regulation; that's the kidneys' job.)", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9uvjnk"}, {"question": "Good luck. I was just thinking about the genetics piece. I think i probably inherited a disposition to anxiety snd/or managing stress etc poorly...and alchohol became the solution, as it probably did for relatives too. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8q0ax9"}, {"question": "Hi. For a stary how fantastic that you recognise this so early in youre life... v mature ! Some of my difficulties started in college ...if i were to go back i would get a job or two, volunteer, commit to hobbies which dont involve drinking, and travel . For me the environment centered around drinking so much, so changing that would have been v. helpful. In terms of how i cope with cravings i think i have a shorthand re why I'm not drinking e.g. family, health, energy and quality of life in general. Good luck and ENJOY college \ud83d\ude03", "comment": "Hi guys, I could really use some advice and tips because I just am so sick of struggling with my inner demons. I go to a college where the binge drinking culture is very bad and a solid chunk of my friends are alcoholics, but don\u2019t admit it. But I have to admit I\u2019m an alcoholic. I\u2019m a 21 year old girl and I just don\u2019t want to let alcohol control my life even more than it does. I go out 4 times a week, I\u2019ve drank\u2014 even in the day\u2014to get the courage to talk to people. I\u2019ve drank alone. I can only have \u201c1 drink\u201d in public but I secretly wish I could have more. I know it\u2019s inhibiting the best person I can be but every time I try to stop I get dragged back in. It also sucks because I struggle with depression and my meds make me feel numb and emotionless and I try to combat that with alcohol a lot, which is bad. How do you guys deal with cravings and does it get better? Do you guys have any certain phrases you say to your mind to help (for ex: \u201cthis craving will pass in a minute, don\u2019t give in). are there any other college students on this subreddit? If so, how did you maintain sobriety in a drinking culture environment? I\u2019m just so lost and this is the first time I\u2019ve posted on reddit. I see how great this community is and I could really use your kind words. ", "post_id": "8gtha5"}, {"question": "It's hard to interpret a spot urine creatinine with no volume. Excretion of waste, including creatinine, is a primary kidney function. You should excrete a lot of creatinine. In healthy kidneys the amount excreted depends on the amount present (which itself depends mostly on muscle mass) and how much urine you produce; if you drink a lot of fluid and produce lots of urine, it will be more dilute, and if you drink little fluid on a hot day you'll produce very concentrated urine, but overall the same amount of total creatinine excreted.\n\nThe purpose of the urine creatinine test here is almost certainly to make sure your urine is concentrated enough to be a real sample, not doctored or diluted. It's not of much use diagnostically by itself, and there's no reason to test it otherwise unless you have some other labs that were concerning.", "comment": "I went through a urine drug test a while ago which came back negative today. In the test they also tested the creatinine level of my urine which after a bit of googling made me a little bit worried.\n\nMy level was 1,82 mg/ml which seems high to me! I\u2019m a 23y/o male who don\u2019t exercise a lot, with a reasonably balanced diet and I weigh around 83 kg. I feel completely fine, no symptoms of anything out of the ordinary\n\nIs this something to worry about? Thank you in advance \ud83d\ude42\n", "post_id": "8zdkwd"}, {"question": "You are asking a very Existential question...will life ever get better or will it be just an endless series of tasks and achievements. I can say that I sometimes feel the way you currently do. Can you recall the last time you felt like things were going your way?  What was different at that point?", "comment": "Failure after failure, pretty much my life. I have begun to really dislike adult life and adult responsibilities, it's all boogus, i'd rather be a small little child than this, and the worst thing is that there is no rest from it, it never ends, until you die that is. (Which is a really long time judging by statistics.)\n\n[\nFuckin' thing sucks!](https://youtu.be/VYrFnW8jpWA)\n\nSoooooo, does it get better?", "post_id": "60xhs8"}, {"question": ">self-hatred spiral fun house clown ride\n\nSuch an amazing description.", "comment": "  I advise everyone to do your own research (please vet your sources. don't listen to the hippy-dippy woo-woo stuff or anything that says 'cure').\n\nThere may be some evidence that mindfulness practices / mindfulness meditation slows down the activity in the DMN (people call it demon for a reason) and allows the TPN to take over. In laymen terms, the DMN is the part of the brain that when idle will make us spiral into the dark fall out cloud of nuclear self-hatred.  TPN is basically what allows you to get stuff done.\n\nStudies are showing that mindfulness practices take the 'you' out of the equation so-to-speak and lessen the activity in the DMN, which in turn quells the self-hatred spiral fun house clown ride.\n\nScientists are using fMRI imaging to map this out in real time so it looks like there is some science at least behind this. People who regularly meditate have a lower overall activation of the DMN in every day life.\n\nAgain, do your own research, but meditation and mindfulness practices have been used around the world for thousands of years. It's not nothing that's for sure.\n\nI posted in another thread here that I have a simple 5 minute 'mindfulness bell' sound I listen to right when I wake up and before I even get out of bed. It's a simple sound from 'gong' to silence that repeats. Very easy to be mindful of. When I work, I listen to something medium tempo and simplistic like deadmau5 radio. For me, those 2 things seem to perfectly put me in the place I'm looking to be in. \n\nYou have to find your own 'frequency', if you will. Good luck!\n\nIf I've spoken out of turn, someone please correct me. I'm still learning about it all.\n\nYour thoughts?\n\nVideo search results for ease:\n\n [https://www.google.com/search?q=DMN+and+TPN&rlz=1C1CAFB\\_enUS849US849&sxsrf=ACYBGNQU7BiWW1p9LR5l1DYEy0t4gl20hw:1580326938132&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGzprOyKnnAhUgg3IEHQ-HB2YQ\\_AUoBHoECGIQBg&biw=1355&bih=923](https://www.google.com/search?q=DMN+and+TPN&rlz=1C1CAFB_enUS849US849&sxsrf=ACYBGNQU7BiWW1p9LR5l1DYEy0t4gl20hw:1580326938132&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGzprOyKnnAhUgg3IEHQ-HB2YQ_AUoBHoECGIQBg&biw=1355&bih=923)", "post_id": "evs31q"}, {"question": "That's normal. Therapy is a process, and you may at times feel a bit worse (especially when digging up past stuff) before you feel better. The important part is to remember to ride out those dips because you are working toward a goal: a happier you ", "comment": "For some reason I feel more down than what I was before.\n\nWith my first appointment I was really happy and cheerful. \n\nJust want to curl up into a ball right now. ", "post_id": "tlyhr"}, {"question": "marriage counseling", "comment": "We've been together 2 years some change, and moved in together a year ago and also have a six month old son. She gets really mad at me over the smallest things and decides to ignore me for the rest of the day.\n\nThese things really are truly minor, they could be anything from not using shampoo in my hair when I shower to wanting to leave some place I'm uncomfortable in. The result is on the spot she gets really mad at me and will start getting surly and accusatory and a couple minutes later she'll ignore me for the rest of the day. When she get's mad initially I maintain my calm and I don't lash back and continue acting rationally and speaking kindly but then as a result she gets mad and ignores me. Any attempt to talking to her during this silent period results in her getting more angry.\n\nI'm not sure how to really deal with it since it really hurts me. It hurts my feelings, it hurts my ego, it hurts my perception of her. Why can someone get **so** mad at me for things so insignificant? \nHow do I personally deal with her little outbursts of rage and silent treatment? Lately I've just been giving her a longer period of silent treatment but it's not really effective but I can't just roll over and let her mistreat me over the very minor things she chooses to be upset over.", "post_id": "71r05h"}, {"question": "So I used to have bad symptoms when it wore off (headache, depressed, aggressive/temper, just feel like shit). I don't find the come down with vyvanse to be that way at all. Instead, all of a sudden it just... wears off. Just a thought! ", "comment": "EVERYTIME i come down off of this fucking adderal i feel like a useless piece of shit and i realize all that self-esteem came from my dumbass medication  BLEEPBLoooPBlahHH GAH FUCK my adhd is so bad i feel lethargic after this bullshit wares off, my mind is so cluttered lord help me, time to go on earthporn for 5 minutes until i forget why i am there and then watch 3 tv shows at once while doing homework and reading. shit.", "post_id": "6zq6xc"}, {"question": "i dumped her after a month. i wrote to her 10 yrs later. she moved in 4 months later. we got married 3 months later. that was 38 yrs ago.", "comment": "For those who got back together how did it work what happened?", "post_id": "5v19wd"}, {"question": "You're damn right that it shouldn't be posted here. Do you expect healthcare professionals to help you to get days off rather than help people with genuine illness?", "comment": "I need a sick day from work and want to get a doctor's note.I'm trying to get new year's off and want to get the note Friday and It go through saturday. Normally I would never do this but I'm leaving the job within a month after 3 years of service and have been treated horribly the entire time. I obviously want to leave on good terms though hence the doctor's note. I was thinking about going for mental health but am not sure what to say. My grandmother recently had a heart-attack and i was thinking I could possibly use that but am not sure how to word it. thank you! also apoligies if I'm not supposed to post this here.", "post_id": "5ke1mj"}, {"question": "Are the hands cold? Are the entire hands numb? Tingling?", "comment": "Age 23F\n\nSex F\n\nHeight 5'10\"\n\nWeight 120lbs\n\nRace White\n\nDuration of complaint 6 hours\n\nLocation usa\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues no\n\nCurrent medications birth control\n\n\nBackground: I usually don't have a period because I take birth control. I ran out and wast able to take my pill for two days and so I started bleeding yesterday with some normal cramping. I got my pill and took it yesterday like normal. I'm 23, 5'10\", 120lbs.\n\nLast night I was woken up around 3am by extreme cramps that have been making me bend over in pain and cry and almost throw up and I'm still experiencing them now at 9am. However at around 4am both of my hands and arms started to feel numb and now my hands are still numb 5 hours later. As far as the cramps go I think I have endometriosis but I've never been tested for it. Can an ultrasound do that? With the hands part, I've never had this happen before and I'm wondering if I should go to a walk in clinic?", "post_id": "j66gwp"}, {"question": "It sounds like a lot of different issues have snowballed and blended into a tangled mess of generally feeling unhappy. From what you\u2019ve said, you didn\u2019t get to spend a lot of time as a child/adolescent getting to know who you are. You have always been working and taking on very grown up roles. I\u2019m also hearing a lot of internalized pressure. It sounds as though you believe every time you make it over the *next* hurdle you will find happiness. It doesn\u2019t sound like you have a balanced life. Think of your life like slices of a pie, with equal amounts of energy going to each slice. You need slices for work, friendship, love, spirituality, hobbies. Spend some time getting to know who you are outside of work and academics. Figure out what is fun to you. Start talking back to these negative voices in your head. This is where therapy can truly help. It may also help in addressing some of the childhood experiences that are likely the root of those negative messages. Do better with self-care, including adding some pleasure in your life. Good luck to you!", "comment": "Recent college grad of a top public university with $75k tech job in a suburb area -- so my income is a little above average but a lot less than what my CS (computer science) peers make. \n\nIf you ask me 3 years ago what words describe me, I would say \"hardworking, resilient, bubbly, creative\". However, multiple things in college & built-up from difficult childhood made me no longer that way. Some reasons are:\n\n* Grew up with an immigrant single mother who works minimum wage to feed a family of 4. Instead of hanging out with friends or interning during breaks in high school, I worked at a restaurant in place of my mother because she's often sick. Being the eldest child, I had to learn everything myself. Even though my mother always said just get an average job and find a good husband, I'm subconsciously brainwashed to believe I need money to be happy. \n* Worked really hard first 2 years of college to apply to my dream program but got waitlisted. Was still optimistic so worked extra hard to impress the waitlist committee. Ended up being rejected ---- So I spent almost 3 years in college fighting for a degree program that ended in nothing. \n* Most of my friends (including and excluding ones who applied to the same program) switched to CS for the money, so I followed them. Although I took intro CS class earlier in my college career, due to above \"dream program\" GPA requirements, I waited till the end of my junior year to finish the majority CS courses. I had to take CS courses with its prerequisites. Always concerned about a GPA requirement & having to cram CS major down in <2 years made me form a habit of just cramming for the grades but not actually learning. I thought about quitting CS and but my boyfriend (who also switched majors and pursued CS and ended up with almost 2x more salary) said as long as I graduate with CS degree, I'll be able to get a well-paying job ---- this did not happen; I also didn't learn how to learn in college because all I did was cram for exam. \n* Joined clubs with heavy commitments that didn't end up helping my job search, but instead, I had to sacrifice my health to still keep my grades up with the limited study time. \n* Boyfriend whos best friend to me started thinking I'm useless. He went into the dark tunnel of thinking money and prestige is the only way. He is now suffering from depression but still working at a high paying job. Because of his negative attitudes towards everything, he started indirectly telling mutual friends bad things about me (that may not be as bad as he think). Despite all these, he is still the only person who tries to go out of his way to help me. So whenever he becomes moody and start viewing me negatively, I become sadder. \n* Studied SO HARD to graduate: went to every office hours, stopped talking to friends, sacrificed food time, slept after 3am everyday, broke my immune system (was sick every 2 months of the last year of college). ----- Everything fell apart but still ended up with just similar salary as friends who are less smart and less hardworking.\n* It's very common for CS majors to reference online materials for assignments (people do this at work all the time). But because of one incident, I almost did not graduate and ended up having to get a grade deduction. I'm glad the professor \"gave me another chance\" ---- but I worked SO hard but still ended up with BARELY a passing grade, so I feel like my whole efforts are wasted. \n\nThere are also other reasons but I don't want to make this any longer. \n\n----------------\n\nI don't know when I started to feel these ways:\n\n1. My effort never leads to good results\n2. Everyone thinks I'm useless and will never be successful\n3. Cannot make decisions because I think my decision and effort will lead to another failure \n4. Not motivated to do anything because don't know what won't end in failure\n5. Always conflicted b/w wanting more money to buy more things & wanting to be happy. Don't know how to find that balance. \n6. Most of the time I just feel empty and aimless. Feeling empty at work, feeling empty while walking (except when I'm watching TV shows to forget about reality)\n\nHow do I resolve the above points?\n\nAny suggestion would help. Will elaborate if needed. Thank you so much", "post_id": "bxpx5y"}, {"question": "A good thing to keep in mind is that, in children, there are many issues that, to a poorly trained or non-thorough practitioner, can disguise themselves as ADHD. These include: depression, anxiety, OCD, early onset Bipolar disorder, sleep deprivation, problems at home, bullying, conduct disorder, and hyperthyroidism to name a few. \n\nGiven that many parents are more comfortable taking their child to a GP or pediatrician rather than a psychiatrist or psychologist (where these possible other issues could be explored) the child is more likely to be slapped with an ADHD diagnosis and given said medication than had they seen a mental health practitioner. Secondly, now-a-days (at least in America) physicians are overworked and often do not have the time or energy to sit down for a true differential diagnosis process. \n\nI would imagine (and is probably just speculative and anecdotal) that this can lead to stimulant prescriptions to non-ADHD children.", "comment": "http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2014-07-03/ritalin-may-be-sabotaging-your-kids\n\nOne might have anticipated that easier access to medication would lead to improved health and, ideally, better educational performance. Instead, we found evidence that the children using stimulants fared slightly worse. After the insurance expansion, the Quebec children experienced more depression and anxiety -- problems that could be side effects of stimulant medication. Meanwhile, there was little evidence of any benefits for the children's schooling. On the contrary, we found their chances of progressing through school without repeating a grade to be somewhat lower than they had been before the insurance expansion and lower than those of children in the rest of Canada. Their probability of high school graduation likewise declined a bit.\n\nAfter the insurance policy change, more boys than girls started using stimulants, including many whose initial ADHD symptoms were minimal. Among girls, increased stimulant use was more concentrated among those with high initial levels of ADHD symptoms. Even so, the added stimulant use among girls was associated with more symptoms of anxiety and depression, falling math scores, and a decline in the probability they would go on to get a post-secondary education.", "post_id": "2a2txg"}, {"question": "everyone's different. hopefully she'll be patient.", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nIve [17/m] been adting my girlfriend [17/f] for nearly two years now. However recently we've gone through a rough patch because of some differnt views on sex.\n\nAs someone who never wanted to have sex at an early age, ive always imagined myself having sex when im in my 20's. But my gf has always wanted to do it early. \n\nLately she has brought it up and that she feels the need to do it. She wants to have sex and its to the point where she doesnt care with who. Obviously i wasnt too happy with this so we had a massive argument. \n\nWe are good right now, but i dont know what to do. She means alot to me and ive considered maybe trying to ease up on the age i want to do it and maybe do it next year. \n\ntl;dr my girfriend and i have some opposing views on when to have sex. i am not ready but she is. this is really hurting us, what should i do?\n\n", "post_id": "5ph1nv"}, {"question": "Yes, absolutely. In sexual assault responses there is a huge spectrum of \"normal\" because it's a very personal thing. I suppose I should have said that op's response is very common , but it's by no means the ONLY type of response. This is one thig that is so hard for the public to understand-- there is no one \"typical\" way for a rape survivor to act, but tv and movies persist in showing one type of response, which then makes it difficult for the public to accept other types of responses as \"real.\" It's very unfortunate, ESP when it comes to trying to prosecute cases, because juries expect the tv type of response.", "comment": "After dealing with panic attacks, extreme anxiety, inability to do classroom speeches or demonstrations, depression because of all this, and extreme trouble coping with school/interpersonal relationships related to school I decided for the first time to get counseling.\n\nI went in not expecting to even talk about my rape, but somehow it just came up during the background questions. And I exploded. I started crying and I've been on the verge of crying ever since.\n\nIs this normal? I do believe that I am a naturally anxious person, have been my whole life, but after my rape my anxiety became debilitating. I almost dropped out of school because I couldn't give a speech- I would honestly rather die then do something like this. My panic attacks are so bad I cannot speak. \n\nAnyways I am rambling and pretty lost right now. I know that what happened to me is a giant part of my anxiety, but is there any way therapy can avoid this topic and still help me? I am such a mess now and I'm in a very difficult program at school. I can't deal with this. But not dealing with it isn't an option either.\n\nDoes it get better? What do I do? My therapist's plans for me seem so simple; meditation and CBT. She also mentioned that I seemed okay and that I'm not the kind of person who would be in therapy forever/long time. Somehow I feel like I didn't get across how fucked up I feel. I guess **I** didn't even realize it. \n\nI am so lost. It's been 5 years and I feel like I've made no progress. I feel so alone. I'm scared she will dismiss me before I'm truly rehabilitated. I'm scared my issues are too big to tackle. Is it normal to feel so messed up? It was only 1hr long intro session of therapy and I'm just completely dismantled.\n\nThanks for listening, I'm not really even sure what I'm asking. Maybe just some experiences with therapy and whether or not it gets worse before it gets better? Continue? I do really like my therapist if that means anything.", "post_id": "2g1mdm"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong with that. Might want to change your viewing habits. ", "comment": "No idea if I should be posting this here or what so please let me know if I should delete and post somehwere else.\n\nAs i've gotten older (34M), i've become more and more sensitive to death in tv and movies. Especially violent ones. I become super empathetic and find myself horrified with the experience, often in tears.\n\nI've never served in the army, I have a pretty boring life. I have developed a fear of having a violent death. Not sure where to go with this. Looking for advice. ", "post_id": "6fns1w"}, {"question": "I LOVE mine. It feels like a hug. I seem to sleep better, it definitely calms me and makes me feel safer. I just got a cheap one on amazon (buzio brand) and it has been great. I got one a little over 10% of my body weight.\n\neta: the one I have is just filled with little tiny beads. I don't know anything about the chain versions. ", "comment": "So I'm getting a weighted blanket for my birthday to help with my ptsd, my psych has highly recommended them and wanted some advice before I bought one. Has anyone used them before? \nHas anyone used the chain version?\nAnd lastly, are the ones on Amazon good? The Australian made ones are about 3 times the price as those on Amazon.", "post_id": "a1m4mc"}, {"question": "Welcome back. Your story is very similar to mine. Been struggling to get some sober time after relapsing about 2 1/2 years ago. I have a little more than 6 months now, and starting to have more better days then not at this point. It\u2019s tough because I constantly want to feel as good as I did when I had my time. I keep reminding myself to be patient and the old saying \u201cdon\u2019t quit before the miracle happens.\u201d Not sure if it will be a miracle, but I have faith that if I stay sober and keep it up, it will get better.  Just wanted to give you my experience with it so far. If we hand in there and keep doing the right thing and have some patience, things will get better. Wishing you the best. I feel your pain and know how difficult it is!", "comment": "Hi friends,\n\nI am afraid that I'm here fulfilling my role as a clich\u00e9d cautionary tale. \n\nI made it over three years without drinking.\n\nUntil about two years ago.\n\nI got away from meetings because of my struggles with faith and my general cockiness, I guess. I started dating someone who liked to smoke weed, and I slowly started partaking from time-to-time. I went to a bachelorette party summer of 2017, and while I was waiting for a several-hours-delayed flights, I joined my friends in the free wine we were offered. It has been steadily going downhill from there. \n\nAs everyone told me would happen, things started \"okay\" and eventually I ended up right where I started when I first sniffed around recovery. My bottom wasn't as bad this time, but the experience and struggles are the same. \n\nI drank all my money. I drank away some of my most important relationships. I don't remember anything that happens to me. I'm a shell. I've blacked out almost every day in 2019. I'm hungover every day. I eat eight times a week, maybe, but I'm still overweight because of all of the calories I take in by beer. I'm have no idea how I feel. I'm behind on every project I've taken on. I've squandered opportunities for the last three years that sober me set up for herself. \n\nI don't have anything of meaning to say, but I have decided I'll go to a meeting tonight and try it out. I'm in a new city now, and apprehensive about what it'll be like, but I figure I'll start out there and commit my intention to not drink today. \n\nThank you for being here and for offering a place that I could come back to.", "post_id": "d0km9h"}, {"question": "i would see a therapist for these self esteem issues", "comment": "I've been dating my current boyfriend for a few months now.  He's everything I could've asked for in a partner, and doesn't give me any reason to feel bad in our relationship.  \n\nHowever, I can't shake this relationship anxiety off of me.  I feel incredibly insecure about the way I look, my personality (ex. do I come off as clingy? I always try to give people space), and at times my intelligence (I know I'm not dumb, but I can't help but feel that way).  I hate that I'm doubting myself, even when he tells me otherwise.\n\nI love that he is supportive and wants to help me, but I'm scared of showing him a more vulnerable side of me.  I don't like the idea of using him as an emotional crutch either, so I need to figure out how to fix this on my own.\n\nAny advice is greatly appreciated!", "post_id": "68k416"}, {"question": "I assume you have a therapist and take meds. Be open and honest. If the relationship is strong, you'll work through it together.", "comment": "So I have been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now. I suffer with mental illness, in the past I used drugs to cope but I have recently went to rehab and solved that problem. But in my mind I'm always feeling something that I don't let everybody else see. I feel so fake like I want everyone to know the truth about me. But now I also have this belief that everyone is fake, and now I'm not able to trust anymore because I can't trust myself. I love my girlfriend but I feel as though I'm not enough because my mental illness puts some restrictions on my life. Should I take some time to work on myself or stay with the girl of my dreams and try to get better?", "post_id": "70tg4j"}, {"question": "ask him", "comment": "Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 2 years, but we were friends for 5 years prior to this. He's the type of guy I can actually see myself marrying. All through our relationship every now and then he has times where he freaks out about our relationship and worries we're \"holding each other back\".\n\nI keep trying to help him that I'd never stop him doing anything he wanted to do and I've never shown I would either, but I don't think it helps that I get worried about him with other girls. We're both moving to university together in September, and depending on results is more than likely to be the same one, yet he stills thinks we won't last. I've put my all into this relationship and I really do love him, but his uncertainty is starting to make me feel insecure. We're really happy about 80% of the time, but when we're not together the freak outs he has really get to me and really effect my mood.\n\nI guess what I'm trying to ask is if anyone else has been through this type of things and how you got over it, or if anyone has any advice on whether I should try and make things work or end it whilst I'm young enough to get over it?", "post_id": "6rbq0p"}, {"question": "Might consider seeing a counselor (a LPC or LMHC depending on your state). While they don't have quite as much education as psychologists (6 years vs. 8-9 years), but they still are competent therapists and can be helpful.", "comment": "Long story short, I need to find out why I'm unhappy most of the time.  I'm on meds from my PCP, but my BS in Psych tells me I should talk to someone to figure out if there is a non-biochemical reason for my issues. I'm high functioning and not suicidal. \n\nDoes anyone know of any legit online places I can talk to a real professional?", "post_id": "1gvum0"}, {"question": "To add to the chorus with an official medical opinion: no, masturbation has no known negative effects on penis size or anything else.", "comment": "Age: 21. Sex: Male. Height: 5\"8. Weight: 120. Location: United States.", "post_id": "ajd7ch"}, {"question": "People accuse kids of \"doing it for attention\" as if that were some horrible crime, and I don't see why. \"Attention\" isn't just attention: It is support, care, interest, being seen, having a role - all of which are completely normal things to want and need. I don't know why 12-year-old you went this route, but I think you should give yourself some slack. You were just a kid. Even if you thought it was a hilarious joke at the time, you were just a kid.", "comment": "So, back when I was in Year 6 at school, around 11/12 years old, I was pretty popular in my year group, and had never been bullied or anything. \n\nThere was a girl in my year at school who was my \u2018girlfriend\u2019 at the time - the kind of girlfriend only a 12 year old has, where you would send a letter with tick yes/no for if you want to be with me, and she\u2019d send her friend Jane two weeks later to say she\u2019d dumped you and in time you\u2019d send your mate Billy to give another note to the next girl. \n\nAnyways, I liked her a lot at the time, and my friends joked around with me because she had a twin sister, so it was the usual, \u201cyou must fancy her sister then\u201d kind of remarks I\u2019d get. \n\nOne day, she was upset and I remember asking someone why she was crying. They said she\u2019d had a nasty note put in her classroom box (like a plastic sliding drawer to put your books in with your name on the front). The note was saying something like \u201cyou\u2019re the ugly twin\u201d and she obviously took it to heart and there was a big drama about it all. \n\nI assured her the note was wrong, and saw myself as a bit of a hero when I got a kiss from her. Soon after, I found a note in my own class box, though I can\u2019t remember exactly what it said, something along the lines of my being a douchebag. \n\nIt must have been juicy whatever it was on the note, because I remember everyone around me saying how vile whoever was writing these notes were, and I had my friends all supporting me through it. \n\nSo this is where it gets so weird. \n\nI don\u2019t know how it started, or why, but from here on, I started writing horrible notes myself. I addressed them to myself, wrote nasty things about myself and put them in my own classroom box to be \u2018found\u2019. \n\nI\u2019d then acting really fucking annoyed and upset when I did \u2018find\u2019 them, showing my friends and leading long discussions about who it could be and what I\u2019d done to deserve it. \n\nI\u2019d gather all my mates and go around asking people if they had a problem with me, gaining \u2018allies\u2019 and ruling some of my peers out of the whodunnit equation. \n\nIt must have went a bit far because before long, my teacher was involved. I showed him one or two notes that had been put in my box - by myself obviously - and he first spoke to the class asking for it all to be stopped, and when it didn\u2019t, progressed to hauling the entire year group in for an assembly to lecture everyone on bullying and bringing up the bullying notes. \n\nThe notes continued to appear in my box (because creepy 12 year old me was writing them) and I would give myself abuse and call myself names like \u2018gay\u2019, I\u2019d comment on my appearance, saying whatever other vile non-original things I thought up that I heard other kids say. \n\nI wrote things like \u2018you fingered Eliza and I\u2019m going to tell your mum\u201d. I even wrote a fake note to myself and signed it from my girlfriend, breaking up with me. \n\nShe was obviously angry at the mystery note writer and assured me she wanted to stay together. \n\nIt\u2019s all so fucked up. I can\u2019t remember what else I wrote, and genuinely have no idea why I would write all that to myself but I thought it was all so entertaining at the time, I must have loved the attention it was getting from all my peers and my teachers. \n\nI was progressing to writing notes abusing myself and addressing them to my friends instead of just to me, thinking I was clouding the evidence away from myself. \n\nNot that I really thought I\u2019d be caught out. \n\nSo it would then be a friend for example, would come to me and say he\u2019d found a note saying, \u201cyour mate *me* is a fucking idiot, he\u2019s going to get kicked in after school\u201d, and I\u2019d have disguised my handwriting by writing in big loopy letters, or capitals or something. \n\nI was being ultra sneaky about it all, waiting for people to turn their back so I could write another hideous comment. \n\nThe whole thing came to a head when my teacher said he was going to speak to the headmaster halfway through a lesson, so we could all carry on with what we were doing. \n\nIn the time he was gone, another note had magically appeared in my box. Unbeknownst to me, 12 year old genius that I thought I was, my teacher must have suspected there was something not right about the whole thing after it had been going on for a couple of weeks without it slowing down.\n\n He had probably been using a programme of elimination; who was in the class at the time etc. So, my teacher comes back from speaking with the Head ten minutes later and I hand him this note, shaking with temper as I was (not), all outraged that anybody had the fucking cheek to try and bully me.\n\nHe looks at this note, then back at me, then crumples it up and bins it, looking me dead in the eye the entire time. \n\nHe then said to me quietly, \u201ccan you stay behind at break so we can talk about this?\u201d And I\u2019m all like, \u201cyeah Mr M, I\u2019m not having this crap go on any longer - I\u2019m going to end up getting my mum in to the school.\u201d \n\nHail the end of class, bell goes, everybody leaves, and he sits me down and asks me, \u201clisten, have you got something you want to tell me?\u201d And I\u2019m looking at him with my heart in my mouth, stubbornly acting all innocent replying, \u201cNo sir, I just want to know who\u2019s sending me all this crap.\u201d \n\nHe gets up and walks over to my box and pulls out one of my school workbooks, the type with the cardboard cover with your name and class wrote on the front, and the lined pages inside. \n\nHe opens it up, and shows me inside, where all the ripped edges from the torn out pages are. He just said quietly \u201cI think we both know where the notes are coming from, Mikey, because you\u2019ve been writing them.\u201d \n\nI\u2019m shaking at this point, and start to cry, literally in shock that I\u2019ve been caught out and wondering how the fuck it got to this point, imagining my life was over. \n\nMy teacher then went to his desk and got all the notes I\u2019d conveniently handed him to investigate, probably around 20 of them, all with abuse wrote on them, and he fit them one by one to my book where they obviously fit like a glove, my crimes laid bare for all to see. \n\nI cried my eyes out and refused to admit it to him. I was clutching at straws, and said through the lump in my throat, \u201cI bet it was YOU sir, you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about!\u201d \n\nHe just shook his head and said, \u201cNo, Mikey, you done this, and it\u2019s sick. I don\u2019t know *why* you\u2019ve done all this, but I think this is all finished with, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s anything left to be said for now.\u201d \n\nI just ran out at this point and went home sick. I was scared shitless that my class would find out what I had done. I was terrified, and never told my mum a single thing about any of it, she\u2019d have been disgusted with me.\n\nWhen I went back to school the next day, I kept my head down and Mr M never bothered me at all. He carried on as normal and I gratefully followed his lead.\n\nHe\u2019d left it all unsaid, and I don\u2019t know if he ever did tell any of the other teachers, though I\u2019d assume now he probably pissed his pants laughing about me.\n\nNobody in my class ever did find out luckily, the mysterious note-writer disappeared and was forgotten by everybody but me and I avoided that teacher like the plague for the next two and a half years. \n\nNobody could ever understand why I would say \u201cI hated Mr M,\u201d because he was actually a really good guy. Looking back now, it was obviously out of complete humiliation that I despised him so much, all he done was uncover my weird lie. \n\nIt\u2019s all ridiculous, but it still makes me die inside when I remember it all, it\u2019s such a weird thing for a kid to do, I technically bullied myself.\n\n\nI know this is random AF, but it just makes me cringe inside like nothing else, and nobody knows this story except me and that teacher. I bumped into him recently, and it\u2019s been about 13 years since I left middle school. \n\nHe recognised me and asked me how I was and what I was doing with myself. It was in my mind the whole time we were talking and I knew he would be thinking the same as me; \u2018what a fucking weirdo he was in school!\u201d\n", "post_id": "97bf76"}, {"question": "sending my best wishes", "comment": "i don\u2019t remember how much i included in my last post so i\u2019ll summarize it here: my mom has been dealing with financial issues and a toxic relationship, as well as some other chaotic family problems. so those things piled up and it got to her. she ended up drinking a lot of liquor and tried to hang herself in the garage, thankfully she did a bad job at it so it\u2019s looking like she will make a decent recovery. so after she was taken to the hospital they got her stabilized and we were able to go in and see her. she was really ridged and breathing heavily, but they gave her meds to calm her down and put her to sleep. i got news at 10 AM that she had opened her eyes and was trying to move around to take off the stuff that hooks her up to the machine. this is really good news because it means she\u2019s no longer in a coma and she also has use of (at least most) of her motor functions. she has not talked yet i don\u2019t think, but i won\u2019t be visiting her at the hospital for at least a few days because i need time to deal with everything that has happened. i hope that within the next few weeks/months she can start to recover, and hopefully get sober and into therapy so she can get the help she truly needs. suicide isn\u2019t a joke, guys. if someone you know is depressed PLEASE keep an eye on them and reach out to them, because none of us saw this coming. we knew she was depressed and drinking too much but we never expected this. keep my mom in your thoughts pls. things are looking good though recovery wise for her body. ", "post_id": "8nkv1l"}, {"question": "I just got switched to an E script for 60 days. Hopefully I can eventually get to 90 days.", "comment": "Hi fellow brokebrains,\n\nI'm on a dose of 2x Adderall 20mg XR per day with a 5mg Adderall IR as needed and every time I have to renew my prescription I have to go to the doctor, physically bring the prescription paper to the pharmacy, hope that it's within the 3 day buffer period for allowing me to refill a schedule II controlled substance, hope that the pharmacy doesn't have someone new working that's unfamiliar with my prescriptions and decide I'm a drug dealer selling it on the street (I've encountered that twice in five years), wait for the government regulation checks to clear, wait for the insurance checks to clear, AND THEN I get my monthly prescription after a $30 payment.\n\nJust to feel normal. I'm so tired", "post_id": "eo80eo"}, {"question": "Not to force AA on you, but have you been working the steps? Just going to meetings is not the idea behind the program. If you expect to see results from just going to meetings, I wouldn't bet on it. Message me if you'd like some specifics.", "comment": "I found an AA meeting close to the house next Tuesday. I obviously am not going to be able to do this on my own or with just the help of this Subreddit (It's not you, it's me!). I've been pretty resistant to AA but at this point I think it's time to start looking at different options. \n\nI think it's time to start looking at the very real possibility that maybe I'm resistant to AA - not because they're all religious and stuff -  but because it will actually inspire a real change and commitment instead of just talking about it all the time.\n\nI don't know.\n\nHelp?", "post_id": "1il54k"}, {"question": "Hey, we had the exact same college years :)", "comment": "I was at university from 2013 to 2016. I lived in halls in first year and a shared houses in second and third year. During first and second year I lived with with six other students; shared bathrooms, shared kitchen, everything. I shared glasses during drinking games. I went out to bars and clubs. I rode on buses. I ate at cafes on campus. I was much less careful about hand-washing and weird food and not touching my face then too, and I also worked at a supermarket during the school holidays.\n\nI never got sick the whole three years. Not once.\n\nNobody I lived with got sick from anything other than drinking too much except one girl I lived with in third year - and even that wasn't really a \"tummy bug\". There were five of us in that house and no one else caught whatever she had.\n\nIf a bunch of students who have, at best, a vague grasp of basic hygiene practices managed avoid getting sick, you're probably fine.", "post_id": "eri9c0"}, {"question": "Your post really helped me, thanks for sharing your insights. I love the  connections you made to the dream state and sleep paralysis. \n\nI have a psychiatrist that I see for therapy that has helped me a ton. She is a meditator with a lot of Buddhist training which helps but I don't think it's necessary. There are some medications that help some people at least. I find a lot of help from spiritual study though it can also be quite ungrounding so it helps to have a teacher that understands both the existential side and the need to stay grounded. I found this post to be really helpful too:\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/derealization/comments/brhe2y/ive_had_dpdr_for_over_6_years_and_have_been_fully/\n\nI think for me, the problem isn't that I don't fully know what is true, but that I have this intense need to figure out and know what is true. It feels so urgent and critical, and like until I can understand and figure things out, I am in great danger. But in fact, there is so much that we cannot know, that no one knows. I often feel like I need to know everything and I feel as though I cannot trust anything until I can know for sure (which actually wouldn't require any trust at all). Or I feel like I do have some important existential thing figured out, and what I have figured out is terrifying, way too terrifying to live with/accept. When I am feeling this anxious need to know and figure things out, I tell myself over and over, I don't know and that's ok. I remind myself that it's ok not to know what is real. It's ok that my reality is different than anyone else's and that their reality is different from anyone else's as well. Everything I fear may or may not be true, and that's ok. I'm going to die someday and that's ok. I don't know what that'll be like or what comes after and that's ok. Trying to practice acceptance, a willingness to not know everything, and perhaps some trust that I don't actually need to know everything and never can is helpful and calming to me. I also try to focus on very practical things that I know will help ground me and experience life more healthily -- eating better, drinking water, getting regular sleep, getting some physical activity in, interacting with other people, journaling, meditating, etc. Even though it can be hard to believe they will help or do anything at all, you have to try to remember that that is your depression and obsession and anxiety lying to you. They will help stabilize you and grow into a stronger and healthier person. Good luck to you.", "comment": "It is very hard to put into words how it feels, but I am going to try to pin it; The episodes are frightening. In the moment, it feels like I am desperately trying to wake myself up from a dream.\n\nYou know when you're in a dream and start becoming lucid, and realize it isnt real and mentally struggle your consciousness awake? The episodes feel like that, except reality is the dream and I have to escape it.  In the moment, it feels like I am struggling to wake myself up, and it's terrifying because it feels like dying. I say dying because, in my head I know I am not asleep. Its disconcerting to feel like you are trying to wake up from the waking world. Its sickening because you realize that can only mean that reality is not real. That where I am existing consciously, it isnt real, that life isnt real and I need to wake up/escape. But I am convinced if I do it successfully it means I am going to deatch my consciousness from my body and I will die. Like my body will just stop breathing without me in it and I dont know for sure if I really will wake up to someyhing else, or if I will just make a irreparable mistake and wont be able to go back. That uncertainity makes me panic. It feels like I am both struggling to escape and struggling to stay attached at the same time. \n\nMy body has physical symptoms. Which later I realized match those of a panic attack. My heart beats so hard it hurts, I get these awful pressure headaches, I feel weak/nauseous/lightheaded. \n\nAfter the episodes the feeling of being detached sort of persists for a bit. You know that voice you had as a kid that tells you the bump in the night is a boogeyman in your bed? That voice tells me Im feeling floaty and weird because my consciousness nearly got ripped from my body and, for the moment, doesnt feel 'right' again being back in it. \n\nI ground myself by breathing slowly and recalling 'real' sensations, like the smell of earth, or the feeling of grass in my hands.\n\nWhen I come back to normal, I feel fine. Rational. But it can take a while to feel that way. Sometimes I feel like I'm sort of just on autopilot, waiting for things to feel normal again. \n\nWhen I rationalize I know this is because of my depression. I have always thought I can deal with it well but recently I have become aware that something has changed, cant really put my finger on what, but in any case I am not dealing well with the struggles I used to be able to overcome. Its beckme very overwhelming, stressful, I am more anxious and have depressive bouts.\n\nAt a point two years ago I had only one episode, which I legitmately freaked out over. My first time experiencing anything like it. I had some rare moments of existential crisis where I might sort of become aware that I am literally just thoughts trapped inside a skull and one day the body will expire and I dont know what will happen to me. THAT freaks me out. But that was the first time I ever really experienced the sort of thing I just described as a derealization episode. At that time I thought I had choked in my sleep and nearly died, or that something was trying to possess my body by catching me in my sleep and trying to push me out of it (again. that weird imaginative voice that comes up with reasons for the unexplainable).\n\nNow I know more about derealization, it releives me to know that it is a shared condition among other people, even if not every experience is the same. That I am not actually going insane and all these weird things I think are happening are as explainable as sleep paralysis. \n\nBut right now I just came out of a particularly intense episode. I am worried because, after snapping out of it now, I am just realizing that I am after all not coping well with my depression and anxiety. And I dont know how to follow up on it. \n\nWhen you realized something was wrong, did you go to a therapist? Your normal GP? Is there medication I can take? What did you do to take the first steps in getting help? I worry they will think I'm making it all up, or that they wont take me seriously. But I think its come to a point where I need to out those fears and concerns aside because its become too much to bear now.\n\nI know I need some outside help but I feel sorta lost. I read your posts about feeling alone because theres no one to talk to who understands--no one in my life has probably even heard of it, or would have advice about what to do, or share the experience.\n\nIts disconcerting. I dont know much about Derealization to begin with I guess. When I was coming out of this episode about 3 hours ago, I stressed that I might actually snap, lose touch with my rationale, completely lose control and autonomy of my body and mind. I worry I might lose my sanity and be put into a ward to care for me because I am stuck in this perception of nothing being real (has that ever happened to anyone? Permanantly become stuck in an episode?) and unable to function real-world. \n\nIn any case I guess I'm just looking to hear how you first went about approaching/confronting your derealization for the first time. \n\nMore about your coping mechanisms and lifestyle strategies. It might help me out. \n\nI'm super freaking tired now and so I will sleep and revisit this tomorrow. Its Sunday tomorrow, so whatever steps I take will have to wait till Monday.\n\nUgh. Stay clear guys. XO", "post_id": "e3wttv"}, {"question": "Tics and ADHD are often comorbid\u2014they appear in the same people. Tics can be caused or unmasked by stimulates, but also coincidental. It light be worth trying a drug holiday and seeing what happens. Because tics can come and go, it\u2019s less enlightening if it goes away without Quillichew and more suggestive if the tics persist on days your daughter doesn\u2019t take it.\n\nThe fact that it became worse with illness suggests, but not definitively, that this is driven by at least not only medication.\n\nAnd as always, there\u2019s a risks and benefits discussion. How severe is her ADHD and how much does Quillichew help? How severe are the tics? What might be done to manage them (whether or not Quillichew is causing them)?", "comment": "This question is about my daughter.\n\n***************************************************\n**Age**: 11\n\n**Sex**: F\n\n**Height**: 5 ft. (153cm)\n\n**Weight**: 73lbs (33.34kg)\n\n**Race**: Caucasian\n\n**Primary complaint**: Newly developed motor tics\n\n**Duration**: Rare (and and the time unrecognized) motor tics going back at least 6 months or longer, very pronounced increase in frequency of motor tics within the last week.\n\n**Existing medical issues**: ADHD, diagnosed by Pediatric Neurologist on 9/20/2018 (weird coincidence, exactly 1 year ago today)\n\n**Current medications and doses**: Quillichew ER 25mg, 1x per day in the morning\n\nNo drinking, smoking or drug use.\n***************************************\n\nMy daughter was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago.  Since that time she has been taking Quillichew.  After a little bit of adjustment she settled on 25mg/day as the apparent optimum dosage that helps her with executive function while not impacting her sleep and anxiety levels to much.  This medication has been highly effective at helping her!\n\nFor most of the year she has taken a dose every day except 1 day on the weekend.  We take this break because we were hoping to prevent or delay any tolerance build-up and to keep an eye on how she is doing without medication.\n\nFor most of the last year I have noticed the occasional motor tic from her.  Excessive blinking, shoulder shrugging, grimacing, neck stretching.  However, I did not really understand what I was seeing at the time and it was so infrequent that I just disregarded it.\n\nLast week she got sick with a mild cold.  Nothing to bad.  A very mild fever.  A very light cough and some tiredness and grumpiness.  At the same time she **really** started showing alot of motor tics.  So many that my wife and I started to do some online research and then recognized it for what it actually was.\n\nA trip to doctors office had us sitting down with a Pediatric Neurologist NP who told us that she didn't think this was a side effect of Quillichew.  She seemed to indicate the motor tics might be a comorbidity with ADHD or possibly that Quillichew lowered the threshold.  She recommended CBT and CBRT.  She also recommends that we don't do the \"off\" day from Quillichew on the weekend.  She advised that we do not call attention to the tics.\n\nI'm looking for some other opinions.  It's **not** that I think the Pediatric Neurologist NP is wrong.  I honestly just don't know.\n\nAny advice?  Should we switch to a non-stimulant medication?  Should we stay the course and take her to CBT? How much could the cold and recent school stress be a complicating factor?  Did Quillichew cause this?  Will it go away if we stop the medication?  Will it get worse?", "post_id": "d70799"}, {"question": "just sounds like you have an active imagination. ", "comment": "I don't know how to define this, so please help me out.\nWhen I listen to music or watch a music video, I identify with a player and fantasize about my playing the instrument. I deeply absorb myself in this fantasy and get really high. Is this a mental symptom? What is this called? ", "post_id": "416rzt"}, {"question": "Thank you for taking the time to respond! :) that\u2019s a good point about the gurgles being more of a stress thing. I like the idea of reminding myself that this is temporary. I\u2019m still feeling fine today!", "comment": "So my boyfriend brought back fresh fish from where his parents live in California to where we live in the Midwest. He flew it back. He has done this several times before and it\u2019s always been fine. They vacuum seal the fish and freeze it, then pack it in freezer packs. Usually, the fish is still frozen solid when he arrives back in the Midwest. However, this time, it was thawed. Still cold, like felt refrigerator-temperature, but not frozen. Maybe because he had a long layover this time. When he got back from the airport, we put the fish directly in the freezer.\n\nWe cooked some of the salmon up tonight. We ate it about 5 hours ago. Of course, I\u2019ve been jumpy ever since. I\u2019m proud of myself for going for it and eating the salmon, but now my stomach is all gurgly. I don\u2019t even have a stomach ache or throat n* - just the gassiness. Should I be okay?", "post_id": "ejt5qj"}, {"question": "Yes. You're doing fine cutting her off. Move on with your life!", "comment": "Hello,\n\nI want to share with you about my experience and ask what you would do in my place. As the title says, I have some problems with a former girlfriend, specifically I do not know what relationship I should keep with her.\nWe broke up in late February, after a brief but intense relationship. Our feelings were mutual, but on her part it began to cool down over time. She started to avoid me, repeatedly advise me to find someone else, emphasizing that we only few things in common, and all the time she was in contact with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she could go back together. When this uncertainty in relationship was no longer bearable, I decided to tell her my doubts, even though I knew it would end with a break up.\n\nShe recoverd relatively easily because she was emotionally involved in someone else but it was very hard for me. Even after the break up, we spent a lot of time together (her new/old boyfriend works abroad) as if nothing had happened. Actually, she contacted me a few hours after we broke up, and then when she later admitted she was in love with her ex-boyfriend, as if nothing had happened. I tried to accept everything, respect her decision, move on and have a friendly relations with her. But I was just lying myself, hoping to rekindle our relationship. Until recently, I was in a vicious circle in which I repeatedly fell in love with her, only to be disappointed with her statement or a mention of her boyfriend.\n\nI have realized, that can\u00b4t keep up with this anymore, and I decided to stop communicating with her. We are already communicating much less than before, we meet occasionally... and I feel better. I do not think of what happened, where the error happened, and I feel I'm growing as a person. But I also feel remorse against her and our common past, when I get away from her life in this way. I do not want act as I can\u00b4t control my feelings and doing unnecessary scenes. Most of the time in my life I\u00b4am trying to be reasonable and act as a grown-up, but sometimes it\u00b4s not possible, and I've probably come across my limit.\n\nIf I did not do that, there two possible scenarios of our relationship. I would either fall in love with her again only to be dissapointed again, or I would start to hate her and I really don\u00b4t wish for this, because despite the things she did to me, she is a great person with amazing character. However, I have encountered my personal limit, and I do not think I can maintain friendly relations with her without losing my hope of reviving my relationship.\n\nDo you think I'm doing well if I get out of her life like that? What would you do in my place? Do you have similar experience like me?\n\nThank you in advance for readings and answers.", "post_id": "6dh9lk"}, {"question": "Just to clarify, who has diagnosed gestational diabetes? Did you not get advice from them at the time?\n\nIt depends on severity. My SO also got this, and hers was such that she needed insulin to control it, despite a very healthy diet.\n\nYou need to get specific advice from a health professional.", "comment": "I am really worried and we need help. We are expecting our third child. She is 24 years old, and doesn't have a great diet. She really only likes eating mostly sugar. It was something that we were both aware that could happen, but now that it is, we don't know exactly the next steps to take. I thought it would be a good idea to see a nutritionist and get a diet plan that would be specifically tailored for her and the babies needs. Is that something that is even really possible? I am assuming its entirely up to us figuring out a healthier diet, and maybe an exercise plan. Neither of us cook, and usually eating involves quick fixes. Every pregnancy involves her getting really big. I think our first baby she gained around 80 pounds. Both babies were and are very healthy. The word diabetes scares me, and I want to get on the best plan possible . Short term we are planning on cutting all sugary products out. Is this helpful? We just went through our house and tossed away all the candy and doughnuts and stuff. My biggest question is if we are cutting out all sugars, what the heck does she eat? She was telling me that even bread and pasta is carbs, which your body turns to sugar? I don't know alot about this, I am lucky to have a faster metabolism, and don't particularly even like sweets. Seems like changing her entire eating habits is going to be hard, and im not sure the best foot to put forward...", "post_id": "4xhyjf"}, {"question": "What do you do when you follow up with people that you've clicked with?\n\nAlso, do you ever host or plan events? Something that I've found is very effective for me in making friends is planning an event, and then inviting several people that I know who would all get along with each other. For instance, I knew several nerdy guys who I knew would probably enjoy Dungeons and Dragons, so I invited them to come play D+D with me, and that game ended up being the source of many friendships.", "comment": "Please list things I should do to get friends, because clearly what I'm doing now is not working.  Here is what I have been doing:\n\n- Having open body language\n- Being kind, happy, empathetic, and positive at all times\n- Smiling (genuinely).  A drink or two is involved if I'm feeling anxious.\n- Finding things in common as quickly as possible (still working on hacks for this, but I try)\n- Being interesting, having lots of hobbies and things to talk about (music, art, fashion, activities, experiences/adventures, etc)\n- Telling stories and being good at not what I'm saying, but how I say it\n- Trying to \"add value\" to friendships and showing ways or things I can help them with in the future\n- Let them do at least 60% of the talking unless they are asking me questions\n- Genuinely care about their lives and what they have to say (I do)\n- Looking / dressing like I fit in to the crowd.  And having good hygiene obviously\n- Following up with people I feel like I've \"clicked\" with (although I guess I'm not a good judge of this)\n\nI mean, what else can I do?  Why are my results so poor?  Is this just normal?  I mean, if I feel like I had a good time around someone, why would they not feel the same?  Unless they are acting sociopaths...  \n\nI can't understand why I can't make or keep friends.  I don't come off like I'm trying too hard...  What else can I do?", "post_id": "3i8pp7"}, {"question": "so sorry..... no easy answer here.  everyone is different when it comes to forgiveness. i would definitely see a marriage counselor", "comment": "We are a married couple for 4 years, with no kids. We were seeing each other for 7 years before that. Wife initially started our conversation that she wanted a divorce because she was not attracted to me anymore. Later on, she admitted that she was seeing someone (Mr.X) and she had committed the worst thing ever. They had sex few times and now she is 6 weeks pregnant. I do not know what to do. She might be emotionally involved with Mr.X and she needs to talk to him about the pregnancy..if she needs to abort it or want to keep it ? I am very devastated with all this and want a divorce, because it seems to be messy situation. I can not speak to anyone about this, since I do not want to bring up the pregnancy topic. If it was only an affair, I could have thought twice of giving this a second chance. But knowing she is pregnant, it feels terrible. \nI do not know what to do...Looking for some advice here...please help, im devastated. Should I give her a second chance and forget what happened OR get a separation and make my own way out of this ?\n\nEdit : I do not plan to raise the other man's kid. If we choose to give it another chance, she would have to drop the kid, since its only 6 weeks it's only a pill abort. I feel horrible to say this, but for reasons I would not want to raise someone's else kid.", "post_id": "5pst0i"}, {"question": "You need to balance asking about them with sharing about yourself. If you only talk about yourself, you come across as self-centered. If you only ask them questions, you come across as nosy. If you balance the two, then you have great conversations.\n\nThis concept is explained in detail in this [conversation guide](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation)", "comment": "I have encountered many people who don't take kind to the whole 30% talking/70% listening approach. While a lot of people like talking about themselves, I have found some don't. \n\nFor example here is a convo I had with a person at work:\n\nMe: Hi\nHer: Hi\nMe: So how is school going?\nHer: Stressed about work and soccer.\nMe: You play soccer, what position? I use to play. \nHer: Defender, I use to play forward.\nMe: Why don't you play forward anymore?\nHer: (long story)\nMe: Gotcha. How long you been playing for\nHer: (long story)\n\nFew days later I hear her telling people I'm nosy. Has anyone else encountered this?", "post_id": "z8ait"}, {"question": "Very briefly, i\u2019d summarize boundaries by deciding: what is ok with you, and what isn\u2019t? If you communicate your boundaries to others, and someone interacts with you in a way that violates them (not ok with you), is there a consequence?", "comment": "I want to learn what are boundaries exactly , how to set and how to hold on to them", "post_id": "etr6z9"}, {"question": "\u201cI just want you to know that, by abusing this medication, you make it more difficult for those who legitimately need it to access it.\u201d", "comment": "**TL;DR: Should I be upset that my close, non-ADHD friends are abusing adderall as a study drug? Looking for advice/shared experience/sanity check**\n\nHey everyone,\n\nFirst order of business: Love/super grateful for this subreddit; long-time lurker, first-time poster, etc.\n\nNow, I'm hoping you guys can help me think through this -- I've been really conflicted about it for a while, and I'm not sure how to feel or what to do, if anything. \n\nSo, here's the situation: I'm currently a sophomore at a big, competitive/stressful college. Two of my pretty good friends -- both of whom know I have ADHD and have heard me talk about some of the difficulties of managing it while at school -- have recently been abusing adderall (not mine) in order to pull 12 hour study sessions pre-final exams. \n\nWhen I first found out about this, it made me really, really upset, but I found it very difficult to articulate exactly why. I'm using this post to kind of think out loud/work through my feelings about this in a space where I can get a sanity check/advice from people who have maybe dealt with something similar or at least understand where I'm coming from.\n\nSo my feeling more broadly about stimulant abuse for an \"academic edge\" (which is incredibly common at my school, unfortunately) is that my medication gets me to a NT's productivity level unmedicated; why is it fair that they get to make the playing field uneven again? But also, these are **good** friends of mine. I've confided in them, they've confided in me; I think of them as good people, and as people that I can trust, and I feel like in doing this they've betrayed me in some way. I just feel like they should know better -- it's one thing if it's stupid frat boys that I don't know snorting adderall (still sucks, but what can you do), but these are my friends. I know saying it's a \"betrayal\" is pretty strong language, but I can't help but feel that in abusing the meds for something as (comparatively) trivial as being able to study for 12 hours instead of, like, 8, when I need my meds to basically hold every aspect of my life together somehow makes light of how difficult ADHD can be. I also feel like when regular people use stimulants like this, they start to think that that is what ADHD people use stimulants for, too -- like they might be the ones missing out on some advantage while people with ADHD get a leg up.\n\nI think part of my frustration also comes from how complicated my relationship to my medication was/is. I struggled a huge amount with feeling like I was deficient in some way for being dependent on my medication; I would take \"breaks\" to try and prove to myself that I didn't need it and inevitably end up feeling like a failure; my first medication made me incredibly unhappy (so many panic attacks! No emotions!), etc -- I can't count the number of times I've wished that I didn't have to be on stimulants to live the life I want. So for them to just casually take adderall and be super productive without dealing with any of the shit surrounding the label of a diagnosis and the stigma of being medicated just really rubs me the wrong way, and makes me feel sad. I don't want them to think after doing adderall for a little bit that it's some magical pill that makes you into a productivity machine and fixes everything, because that's just so not true.\n\nAlso note: I'm no doctor but I know pretty much for sure that one of these friends does not have undiagnosed ADHD; I've been to enough libraries with her/seen her work to be fairly certain. There is a possibility that my other friend could have undiagnosed ADHD; I'm less angry at her, for obvious reasons, but still think that if she's struggling enough to start paying for illegal stimulants, she should go get a diagnosis (she has the means)\n\nI don't know, is it crazy to expect them to understand how hurtful this was? Should I talk to them about it? (The more I think about it, I'm not actually sure that they would understand -- also, clearly whoever they got their adderall from doesn't give a shit about it, so maybe I am making too big a deal of it?) I don't know!! Please help, am I overreacting? Sorry for the length, any advice/input/stories/support would be really appreciated. ", "post_id": "a51p8t"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sorry that happened to you. That would be incredibly hard.  I would say it\u2019s definitely dependent on the individual person how it affects them. A really common one is the effect on attachment which can impact relationships throughout life, unless they are able to form a secure attachment to someone else which can help to heal that. Attachment difficulties lead to feelings of not being good enough which trigger fears of abandonment and rejection. How that plays out in relationships can be how the person then reacts to triggers and perceived threats to emotional and physical safety.", "comment": "I don't know if this is allowed, please let me know if not.\n\nWhat would you expect to see in a child and/or adult who had been raised almost entirely by one parent until the age of 10-11 and was then abruptly and voluntarily abandoned by that parent?\n\nIs there a...I don't know, symptom profile for parental abandonment, especially primary caregiver, that looks different or can be teased out somehow from other forms of child abuse? Are there types of issues that are more likely as a result of that compared to instability in a home but where parents stuck around?", "post_id": "fvhlcz"}, {"question": "Give it time. If it hasn't resolved, a trial of antidepressants might be useful (or computerised CBT: www.moodgym.org).\n\nAgree with others, amphetamines aren't evidenced to be of long term benefit, and I doubt it's in your best interests anyway.", "comment": "I recently quit smoking and drinking. Now, I'm feeling tired all the time.  My brain feels foggy like it's working way more slowly than it should. \n\nPlus, I don't feel energized from caffeine anymore, and I feel sad all the time.  \nAlso, I find it really difficult to sleep at night even though I wake up early to work out.  \n\nWould amphetamines be something that could help me? If so, who can I talk to in order to have them prescribed to me? \n\nAlso I'm a 21 year old male. ", "post_id": "56fhbt"}, {"question": "Have you thought about seeing a counselor? A counselor could probably help you understand better what you're feeling and help give you strategies for dealing with it and getting to a happy place.", "comment": "I don't know what's wrong with me. No matter what I try to do I can't make new friends, I can't get girls, and I just don't fit in anywhere. I've even started to doubt my relations with my best friend. Am I just a narcissist? Can it be that I'm just so unpleasant to be around that no one can find a positive trait they can like? I'm probably being too broad, but, I just feel like shit. I've thought about killing myself, but I don't have the courage to do it. Everytime I really think about doing it, I just pussy out. I don't get any farther than a thought, and it's made me think that I like to be pitied, even to the point to were I threaten *myself* with suicide. Can anyone help me? Do I need to be more specific? ", "post_id": "xc2yo"}, {"question": "You're not gonna die.\n\nCannabis use tends to worsen anxiety chronically, but I don't know of anything suggestive about very occasional recreational use with or without SSRIs. It's probably as safe as cannabis for anyone, which is to say mostly but not entirely safe.", "comment": "How likely is a young man in his early 20s of average weight and above average height to experience ill effects of smoking cannabis once every month or so while continually taking Sertraline 50mg? What type of ill effects are to be expected if likely and are they likely to be fatal?\n\nTL;DR Am I gonna die if I get high this weekend?", "post_id": "aqevte"}, {"question": "Sometimes people who believe they are God or have the spirit of God can take more risks than they normally would.  For instance I know a case where someone believed they were God and could fly, so they jumped off of a 1 story roof.  They are fine, but the point is if there is a delusion of thinking they can not or will not die if they engage in dangerous behaviors, they may be more likely to do so.   Based on what you described I feel that at this time he is not in danger of engaging in risk taking behavior but, it is something to be aware of.  \n\nEdit: don't ask if they feel like they are invincible, wait till it comes up if at all.  ", "comment": "He started behaving very strangely yesterday. Quoting holy text, then berating family members for not being religious enough. He claims that God is inside him and at the same time he's a slave of God. Claims such as everyone being hypocrites except his wife's Grandmother followed...among everything else.\n\nHe further believes he's on a mission of global peace and today he said he knew how to defeat the Antichrist. We're taking him to a doctor today, but I'd like to know if any of you ladies/gentlemen have seen cases like this before. Your advice would be greatly appreciated!\n\nEdit: Just wanted to point out that he doesn't exhibit any violent tendencies except raising his voice occasionally at people who disagree with his views. He also has sleep issues (sleeps from 10 pm to 1 am) and then starts praying and doesn't sleep for the rest of the day. He's been preaching at work too so his boss put him on a leave of absence.", "post_id": "2scp9q"}, {"question": "I'm a psychiatrist. What you describe doesn't sound like a normal response to escitalopram (lexapro). Please have your daughter see her psychiatrist promptly.", "comment": "I\u2019m so lost we have no family it\u2019s just my husband myself and our children so I have no one to help me through or offer advice.\nMy eldest daughter was put on lexapro for anxiety and depression she asked the doctor to change it as she had some big memory lapses as in taking things and not remembering she did it. \nShe sees a psychologist, however because of privacy I cannot be told anything, all I get is what my daughter tells me which is not much so I\u2019m going out of my mind.\nMy concerns are firstly I feel in my gut something is not ok with her.\nSince taking the ssris her moods have been odd, stays away from home every chance she gets. The memory issues as above. Lying, friendship problems this has always been on going. Tonight after no sleep last night because she was staying with a friend she was happy then irritable, non relational, cleaning out her draws , things that\u2019s out of normal for her. I was upset and she showed no emotion.\nShe mentioned she feels like she is going crazy.\nI know this I vague I\u2019m exhausted. I just can\u2019t put my finger on what\u2019s up with her. \nI\u2019m so scared this is bipolar, would her psychologist have pick up on this if she was?\nCan the ssris have an effect like this?", "post_id": "dvsfoc"}, {"question": "he's very immature. this won't work", "comment": "We've not been getting along lately. He will prolong any minor disagreement we have into a huge problem, cursing at me, insulting me, and threatening to break up with me as a result. \n\nTonight, I was working on a visa application and I had to focus. We have a small apartment, so we are constantly forced to share the same small living quarters. He was blasting music for several hours, and a couple of times I asked him to turn it down, when I had something to tell him, but then he'd return to playing it loudly. He was playing music that he thought I would like, which was sweet, but it was also starting to get on my nerves, and I just wanted to focus on the application. I suddenly reacted very bodily to a particular song that I found annoying and piercing, by grabbing my ears and closing my eyes and exclaiming something along the lines of \"aaah! Please turn it down. I can't listen to this anymore. Can you just turn the music off for, like, 20 minutes please so that I can add up these numbers?\" To which he had a terrible reaction to, total overkill. He turned it off and then started to complain about me, going on and on about my \"childish tantrum\" (it was less than a minute). So, I said, \"Look it's not a big deal, all I asked was for you to turn it off for 20 minutes, heck, turn it off for just 10! I just need a breather from all of this noise.\" But, he wouldn't stop. He kept insulting me, calling me names, saying I was impossible--on and on and on. \n\nThen he forced me to leave the living room and sit in our hot AC-less bedroom, where there is not even a WiFi connection. I did, just so that he would stop, but after a few minutes I couldn't take it. When I came back out, I sat quietly at a desk that was on the opposite end of the couch, so that I wouldn't be in his way, but he nevertheless started going on and on again, with the cursing, the yelling, the insults, throwing dishes into the sink, just because I was in his line of vision. He told me hates me and can't stand the sight of me and that this is all pretend. He told me it's over, but I know that tomorrow he'll probably take it back, as this is the way it has been for the past three years, since we've moved in together. \n\nI am so sick of this kind of treatment. But I also feel stuck. We just renewed our apartment lease one week ago for 6 more months. I have a new job lined up, beginning on Monday. I know that I could maybe find a way to just leave this all, if I really had to, but I feel like if I finally made the effort to leave him, since he hates me so much, he'd come back crying to me, telling me he loves me, and that would be hard as I do love him too--we were college sweethearts before rekindling our relationship in our early-mid twenties. I also know that if I finally gathered the confidence and strength to leave him, I could never allow myself to look back, and I'm scared to lose him forever. I don't know. \n\nWhat should I do? I feel like I don't even know how to properly see or react to these things anymore. I just want some outside perspective. I am at a loss. I used to blame myself for his behavior but I am beginning to see that he causes a lot of drama over what could be arguments that last no longer than a few minutes in normal relationships. Even this evening, I tried to reason with him when he first started getting really upset over my \"tantrum\" by explaining that I perhaps had a dramatic guttural reaction to the music but that it was a combination of trying to focus with the music, and that it's not a big deal ... but, he wouldn't listen. He kept on and got worse, and used it as another opportunity to tell me how worthless I am and how much he hates me. \n\nPlease help. ", "post_id": "6tzy8n"}, {"question": "There's simply not enough for anyone to answer your question here. Yes, no sex can be a deal-breaker. Sex is a vital part of most relationships. There's no way of knowing whether it was in your situation, though.\n\nIt will get better with time. I know you're questioning yourself right now, but don't let that change what's important to you. If you want to wait for sex, wait. There are guys out there that will be happy to support that.", "comment": "So I met this guy [18/M] about a year ago. We started dating about 2 months after we met and things were perfect. We are so alike and have amazing conversations. I, [19/F], am very hesitant about having sex because I've had bad experiences. Since the beginning of the relationship, I told him I wouldn't sleep with him, I explained my reasons and he was very understanding. We would engage in fore play and fool around here and there.  However, after about 9 months together, he started becoming very distant from one day to the next. This went on for 3 weeks. I'd try to contact him, take him food and be supportive but he wasn't responding. Thus, we broke up a few days ago. I kept asking if the reason behind it was that I wouldn't sleep with him, but he never really said yes or no. \nSo my question is, is sex really such an important component of a relationship? Do you all think the break up was my fault? ", "post_id": "70ojb4"}, {"question": "It sounds like Schizophrenia could be a possibility, along with a few other mental illnesses.\n\nWhat does the aunt plan to do? M needs to see a doctor ASAP and get treatment before this causes any more problems or bad decisions. ", "comment": "**Background**:\n\nMy parents teach at a university in Tanzania. A year and a half ago, a student in our department (which is relatively small, around 30 students) started to become extremely paranoid. Visions, hearing voices, stuff like that. She came to us about it and we agreed to take her in.\n\nIf she was experiencing any of this before, she was really great at hiding it. She went from a mostly happy person to a paranoid and timid person. Not to say that she's never happy anymore, but she was a lot more cheerful back before this started.\n\nAnyways, back to the chain of events. She started keeping her phone off at all times and didn't want to let anyone see her except for us. She stayed in her room most of the time, although she was very helpful around the house. Shortly after she started staying with us, she graduated, and we agreed to let her continue to stay with us for a while longer. She continued to be very seclusive, although she has opened up a little now.\n\nA short while later she started leaving to go someplace (we don't know where, she described it to me recently as her \"safe place\") and she claimed to have started to receive messages from God. Some were relatively harmless, but others harmed her (not physically). For example, shortly after graduating, she got a wonderful job opportunity, and we went through all this work helping her quit her old job. Soon after, though, she got a \"message\" telling her to NOT take the job, and so she immediately turned it down.\n\nThat was queer, but the queerest thing that happened was a few months ago (around Easter IIRC), when she suddenly decided to change her name. It was quite surprising to us. She absolutely refuses to answer to her old name at all, except for people who hadn't yet been notified of the change (who she immediately notified). There wasn't really that much of a personality change that came with the name change, however; it seems that it was just her name that changed.\n\nAnyways, currently she is living with us, going by her new name only, still pretty timid, still disappearing every afternoon. She is a little more open now, going places with us occasionally, etc, and she seems to generally act okay most of the time - by just talking to her you wouldn't think anything's wrong with her. In terms of relatives, her father is dead, her mother is, I'm told, mentally ill, and she was raised and cared for by her aunt as a child. She is 32 years old.\n\n**The situation:**\n\n(to avoid confusion I will henceforth refer to our friend as \"M\")\n\nM's aunt somehow got wind of M's suspected illness - either through a concerned ex-roommate of M's, or simply figuring it out herself with M's phone being off and such. She told us that she would come to pick M up and take her (home I guess). We think that something does need to happen before M makes to many bad decisions, and this \"intervention\" may be the right thing. We managed to avoid confrontation tonight due to some campus rule about not being allowed to take people from campus in the evening or something, and we're supposed to take M to a safe location (local police station) to \"transfer\" M to her aunt in the morning.\n\nKeep in mind that M, at this point in time, doesn't know anything. Apparently the last time her aunt came, her hands started to shake uncontrollably. I didn't know about this previous visit until a few minutes ago, so if more information is needed in this respect I'll ask.\n\nNow, she trusts us (I'm pretty sure), but she might become uneasy about being suddenly asked to come with us in the car. We do NOT want to do a \"trick\" or lie to get her to the station, but we're unsure how to go about this another way.\n\n**Please:**\n\n* Are we doing the right thing?\n\n* If so, are there any suggestions on how to get M to come? Do we tell her what's happening right away and hope she doesn't resist? Tricks/lies are not an option, that's just wrong.\n\n* If not, what should we do? Some sort of \"intervention\" does need to happen before the situation gets out of hand. The name change and turning down the great job opportunity may just be the start.\n\n* Does this sound like schizophrenia or something else?\n\nI'm posting this at 10:30PM local time, at around 7-7:30 AM tomorrow morning a decision has to have been made. We just really want more opinions on what needs to happen, as tonight my father already consulted with many people, including the head of the campus guards, the provost, and another teacher.", "post_id": "2b8d2i"}, {"question": "I know this feeling all to well. Once this starts happening, you\u2019re starting to experience alcohol withdrawals. My nerves were shot every time I drank after this started happening. Then I started drinking to ease my nerves and that sense of terror and impending doom. After that I stopped being a functional alcoholic and wound up drinking around the clock. The progression is happening my man; only gets worse from here unless you stop...much worse.", "comment": "Don\u2019t know why but for the past year or so every time I drink I\u2019m fine and can handle more alcohol than most. But the problem is the next day I am so scared like terrified. It\u2019s gotten to the point where I have sudden big surges of fear like I\u2019m going drop dead at any moment, does anyone know what\u2019s happening to me.", "post_id": "d7w1t1"}, {"question": "He's an alcoholic. Only downhill from here...a life of hell for both of you. Give him an ultimatum.", "comment": "I am married for 1,5 years and in first of months of our marriage i realized that my husband has a drinking problem...Although we have no problem at home he still cant get himself out of the bar till 2-3 am at least twice a week...he got badly drunk most of thr times and we had bad fights... i finally left home and went back to my home country...Almost begging for 2 months he visited me and my family telling how badly he feels, he wants to change etc i trusted and came back...now it has been 3 weeks and started same thing again.. he just says sorry and wants me to get over it and accept his sometimes drinking out late... so please let me know what do you think i should do? Thanks..", "post_id": "76cjjs"}, {"question": "I have Humana and I actually had a harder time being on Strattera than I do now on Adderall. \n\nHumana denied to pay their portion of my Strattera, I had to appeal their decision, and I had to get a PA every year. I still don't understand how something like Vyvanse was super cheap but I had to pay an arm and a leg for Strattera. ", "comment": "I'm incredibly frustrated right now and not the first time!  I'm sorry if this is a post that appears on here often - I don't have the patience to check right now (ha).\n\nFirst it needs to be obtained in person from the doctor each and every fucking time.  Then it needs to be on a handwritten prescription pad. Only then does one find out it needs to be prior authorized by the doctor...at which point I'm both unable to work and puking my guts out from the binging I've been doing.  Thanks United Health Care!\n     \nI'm taking Vyvanse, or rather *I'd like to be* taking Vyvanse because the one time I was able to finally obtain it (legally) it seemed to help...and very little helps.  And it actually helped for two of my disorders: ADHD and binge eating...it't great my life does not revolve around binging and then puking my fucking guts out - it's glorious.\n\n\nWhat's the fucking logic behind restricting ADHD medication to this extent for patients over 18?  That we're all fucking cured on our 18th birthdays of ADHD?  OMFG do I wish that were the case.  And maybe the gods could throw a binge eating cure while they're at it...\n\nWhat is the fucking point of all this red tape?  How is this justified?  How is this all allowed?! ", "post_id": "4395r5"}, {"question": "you might want to read about the term high cognitive dietary restraint - that's kind of similar to a \"subclinical\" eating disorder. you can also take a quiz to see what your eating attitudes are like - google \"EAT-26\".", "comment": "Just to clarify at the beginning I\u2019m not trying to be insensitive in the slightest to any eating disorders, I\u2019ve had a friend who struggles with bulimia so I know how hard eating disorders can be.\n\nSo I\u2019m wondering if it is possible to have a subconscious eating disorder, more specifically subconscious anorexia. I\u2019ve battled with anxiety ever since I\u2019ve been a little kid and it has very much affected my eating patterns; basically whenever I eat I get nauseous and the anxiety triggers a lot of nausea, thus not eating the way I should (we\u2019ve recently figured out it\u2019s anxiety I\u2019ve been struggling with rather than GI issues). My mom also said that when I was a kid maybe seven or eight years old (I\u2019m twenty now) I started developing anorexia and she talked me out of it, since then I\u2019ve had no problem in my mind with weight issues. However, I\u2019ve been quite underweight my whole life, so you can imagine I\u2019m quite skinny. I tend to get made fun of a lot for being so skinny and I\u2019m also allwaayyyssss cold as well and I hate it! I\u2019ve resolved in my head many many times that I\u2019m going to eat more and gain weight and even set up a program on an app to gain weight (which works; when I eat the calorie amount, I can gain about a half a pound a day). But I\u2019ve never gotten past the minimum BMI recommended weight and actually the thought of being a healthy weight makes me nauseous and when I step on the scale and see any triple digits, I immediately get nauseous and then my body suppresses its appetite until I drop down back to the weight I was before and then I get back up a few pounds and it\u2019s a cycle. In my conscious mind, I know I want and need to gain weight but when it comes down to actually gaining it, it\u2019s like my body doesn\u2019t want to. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s my anxiety or that I\u2019ve always had that subconscious thought since I was little or what but I\u2019d like to figure out what the cause may be so I figured I\u2019d ask you guys to see if anybody\u2019s ever heard of something like this. Thanks so much for your feedback!\n\nSide note: the last time I weighed myself I had gained a couple pounds and my appetite has been raging lately so I\u2019m assuming I\u2019m gaining weight but I\u2019m doing myself the favor of not stepping on the scale so I don\u2019t trigger my body back into no appetite... seems to be working so far", "post_id": "8ovfct"}, {"question": "Not much man. Abject begging might work. ", "comment": "Yesterday, my girlfriend had texted me about something that she found out. When we first started dating, she had told me some gossip and asked me not to tell. After some time I let it slip to a friend of mine. I don't remember when I said it, but I know I did. \n\nSix months into our relationship (Yesterday), she found out I told and was angry that I told my friend. She got very upset, citing how the trust was broken, how I was stupid for telling him, and that she couldn't believe it. \n\nAfter some time and thought, I apologized for what I had done. I apologized for betraying her trust and citing the ways in which I did that. This morning I received messages stating the relationship was over, that she didn't know me, that I was a terrible person, and that she didn't want anything to do with me.\n\nWe have a history of fights that end in breakups, but this time she said she was done for good. \n\nI know I messed up, and explained what I did was wrong. I explained why it was wrong, and what I was going to do to fix it.\nShe was very upset by me breaking her trust. I have really hurt her by telling my friend.\n\nMy question is, Is there anything I can do?? \n\ntldr: Fight with girlfriend. I told a friend about something that she didn't want me telling anyone. I know I messed up. Girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with me. What can I do??\n\nEDIT: By saying after some time, I apologized two hours after our initial conversation. I understand I was wrong. Our arguments play out with her yelling and screaming, and I listen to what she has to say. I only ever want to understand what she is saying and where she is coming from.", "post_id": "6bigcc"}, {"question": "Sometimes we lose the choice in drink actually. Alcoholism is powerful as hell. No matter how bad we want to sometimes it\u2019s not enough. I need AA and the steps to stay sober myself. Only thing that has worked in the past. I am struggling myself, so I feel your pain. Hope things get better. Learn from it, but please don\u2019t beat yourself up too badly. That only makes for more drinking to get rid of that feeling as well", "comment": "I made it 55 days. Longest I\u2019ve gone other than while pregnant. \nIt\u2019s been difficult and satisfying. \nI threw it all away this weekend. Had a date night with my husband Saturday and decided I was going to have wine with our dinner. Before we left we had some champagne, like a welcome back toast! My son over heard me say I was going to have a drink and said: \u201cMom don\u2019t lose your time, you\u2019ve done so well!\u201d I told him not to worry and everything will be fine. This was earlier in the day.\nIn my mind I rationalized that if I choose to drink I just won\u2019t do it in front of my kids. Saturday was not a disaster. Sunday.... oh, \u201cSunday Funday!\u201d Not so Funday. \nGot started at brunch and had a bunch of drinks. Bloody Mary, Champagne and several beers. Go hard or go home - right!?\nWe end up at a friends house and I open a bottle of wine from Vietnam. This \u201cwine\u201d packs a good punch. Fast forward a few hours and we\u2019re all at the pool. Next thing I know I\u2019m waking up at 4 am full of anxiety with no idea how I got home. \nTurns out I got extremely hammered and started to fall asleep at the pool. My husband got me home and I went to use the restroom. My daughter had to go tell my husband that mommy is asleep in the restroom and I can\u2019t wake her up. My son is also a witness to all of this. \nI don\u2019t remember the pool. I don\u2019t remember coming home and I completely let my family down.  I feel so shitty - emotionally - that I could not face going to work today. \nCan\u2019t face my family. Made up a story that my daughter believes about getting food poisoning, but my son knows. My husband has tried to assure me that he got me home before too much damage was done at the pool. \nCrazy thing is my mom is telling me that we all make mistakes. Don\u2019t beat myself up and NEXT time don\u2019t drink as much. \nAll my family and friends drink, which makes staying sober more challenging. I know only I can choose to drink. \nresetting the clock to day 1.\nIWNDWYT\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you to everyone that has taken their time to post advice and uplifting comments. It\u2019s been a struggle today, but I know I\u2019m not alone. This happens to the best of us. Reading your comments has made a positive impact on my day.\n\n\nEdit 2: \nY\u2019all are amazing. I turned my phone off last night and checked out early. Woke up to so many comments. I\u2019ll try to respond to everyone. Currently at work. Day 2 and I\u2019m already feeling better.\nIWNDWYT", "post_id": "bz1g0e"}, {"question": "You're not alone, and this happens enough that there's a term for it, misophonia, although it's not a standardized diagnosis. There's also little clear guidance on what to do about it. It's possible that therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, can help you manage the overwhelming reaction, but nobody really knows.", "comment": "I know this sounds crazy but for the longest time I have always had an issue with sounds. For example, I cannot stand the sound of another person eating near me. It makes me feel like I\u2019m going to explode inside and I get really irritable. It\u2019s affecting my home life but it\u2019s uncontrollable. The same thing happens when I hear pencils writing on paper. Also when there is too much noise in one place (tv on, music in background, kids on phone..all at one time) I have full blown anxiety attacks and have to leave. Is something wrong with me? I feel like I should just be able to stop myself from getting so irritated but it\u2019s like instant and uncontrollable irritation as soon as I\u2019m in any of these situations. \n\nI am a healthy 28yo F with no medical issues. 5\u20194, 110lbs, ongoing issue for as long as I can remember but seems to be getting worse.", "post_id": "cwkjbr"}, {"question": "Re therapy,  a sex offender program is most appropriate.  There are groups especially designed to do this work .\n\nRe chances of changing - I want to make the distinction between sex offender and pedophile. Not all pedophiles offend , and not all people who do what he did are pedophiles. Of course , some people are both. I can't say because I did not treat him and I really don't know what happened or what was behind it.  There are multiple factors used to estimate risk of  recidivism. (There are some actuarial risk assessments you can find online,  but they require knowledge about the offense and offender).\n\n\nI'm curious as to how you would know if he had remorse or empathy.  Were you treating him in some capacity?", "comment": "My former friend, whom I\u2019ll call Amy, has a young relative who was caught in a sex offense. \u201cBrad\u201d was a teen, when he took two young boys into the woods for sex. (I believe they were 9 or 10 yo, and he was 16 or 17.) I thought that he was probably a predatory sex offender and that his skill at luring the boys indicated that this was something he\u2019d done before. \n\nBrad slipped through the justice system cracks and got no treatment. When I spoke with him later, he showed no remorse and no empathy for his victims. He was also seeking work with children. \n\nFast forward: He is now married, has a good career, and has had some kind of therapy. I am wondering what the chances are of a sex offender changing as an adult? Also, what kind of therapy is effective? What kind would not be effective?", "post_id": "fc05m8"}, {"question": "Check this out: https://relationshiprx.utk.edu/2015/03/11/complaints-vs-criticisms/\nBig difference in complaint vs criticism. How you approach the issue will make all the difference. Good luck!", "comment": "is this even possible?! and do I have any right to do so? \n\nMy partner has a tendency to be dramatic and does what seems to me like 'crying wolf' (asking for help when it's unnecessary) \nI have seen this behaviour affect my partner's life negatively with our relationship, with her other friendships, with her employment, with her health, it's everywhere really. I don't like when she is dramatic or not taking the time to try and figure things out on her own. I feel like I can see through it and it's frustrating to me. It's something that I feel she needs to work though, everyone has their issues. I think it's possible she doesn't see herself in that way, but I think most other people would. I just want to help her realize the ways in which she is over-reacting but I really can't figure out how to word anything, everything seems very harsh and I really don't want her to feel attacked. \nIs it wrong to have a discussion about something of this nature? I don't want to disturb her natural personality, it just seems like this small aspect is doing more harm than good.  \n\nor is this just my own issue & I need to let it go if I want out relationship to grow and grow? \n\ntl;dr my partner is dramatic and cries wolf, do i bring this up?", "post_id": "6x44ng"}, {"question": "tell her than do it.", "comment": "I've been debating on how to start no contact with my ex. Previously she left me for another guy and while she was with him, she really didn't give a crap about me. Anyways he ended up fucking her and leaving so she basically came running back to me  after that. I missed her a lot so I didn't even care about what she had done. I was just glad to have her back. We were intimate a few times during our friendship but that was a huge mistake. But anyways, like I said she was pretty heartless towards me after the whole breakup and being with another guy. Of course I still wanted and missed her after what she had done so we agreed to being \"friends\" with the occasionally intimacy thing. \n\nSince then she has been really sweet and caring and has helped me with some things for school, but sometimes I just feel like things are different and I simply can't get the idea that she had left me for another guy and lied to my face. I want to cut her off. I honestly just want to disappear, but I'm not sure if it would be fair to her. Should I tell her I'm going no contact or should I just block her off of everything and disappear off the face of the earth? What's the best way to go about this?", "post_id": "6b7t0t"}, {"question": "Emotional security comes partly from healthy relationships. Meetings are great but the work of self examination is necessary to undo the damage caused by years of neglect, abandonment and shame. I did the 12 steps because I knew I needed to change the way I felt inside or I was going to drink again. Drinking for me was running away from myself. I had to face myself with the help of another person. I had to admit that I needed help because I had a blind spot when it came to myself.  ", "comment": "I drank last week, after nearly 2.5 years.  I was traveling alone, at a conference for work, I was anxious, and I was given a bunch of free drink tickets.  I used them.\n\nI had only two drinks each on two different nights.  Nothing terrible happened, I didn't embarass myself.  I was lucky.  But I put myself at risk.  And both nights, after I got back to my hotel, it took everything I had in me to stop myself from going to a liquor store and buying more booze so I could drink alone in my room.\n\nI'm back home now, it's been a few days and I'm doing okay, but I had no idea the cravings would come back so quickly.  I'm grateful that my friends all know me as a non-drinker, and people here don't offer me alcohol.  But still, I've had some close calls since coming home.\n\nI had gotten complacent.  I had forgotten how bad it was.  My life has gotten so much better in the last few years that a big part of me believed that I had solved my problem and could drink like a \"normal person\" now.  I hadn't exactly planned on drinking at this conference, but the thought of trying alcohol again has been in the back of my head for the past few months. \n\nI'm also realizing that I had slowly replaced alcohol with marijuana.  I have been smoking way too much lately, even though I never enjoyed weed as much as I did alcohol.  So it's no wonder that I had a slip when I was traveling without access to weed.  I've told myself for a long time now that smoking weed is okay, it's not addictive in the same way as alcohol is and it doesn't make me do the stupid, dangerous things that I do when I'm drunk.  But, like my therapist told me today, I never really got used to a life where I wasn't self-medicating with *something*.  I was never truly sober, and it was only a matter of time before I went back to my drug of choice.\n\nI'm throwing away my weed, and making plans to start going to meetings again this week.  I bought myself a 2-liter of soda and a pint of Ben and Jerry's for tonight, because I feel like I need it right now.  I'm hurting a lot.  I feel angry at myself, and really sad seeing that 5 days on my badge.  2 years is a long time.  I really want to get there again.\n\nThanks for reading.  I will be completely sober tonight.", "post_id": "6tqh6k"}, {"question": "Oh my god yes!  I\u2019ve said almost this exact thing several times. I have the capacity to do one thing well, and everything else suffers and only gets a fraction of the attention it deserves.  Since I have to live, work gets my attention and every other relationship or interest or obligation (including basic self-care and chores) is neglected.\n\nI also have ADHD and chronic fatigue, but honestly, they could all be part of the same problem. I could have fatigue and focus issues because autism is such an enormous drain on my resources.  \n\nIt could also be the other way around. I could seem autistic because I have ADHD and chronic fatigue. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s even worth sorting out (or possible).", "comment": "Most people can do multiple things a day like having a job, having hobbies and doing sports, but i can't. I work 11 hours a week and i try to finish school and i want to make music and do sports, but that doesn't work for me. When i work for 5 hours in the morning i can't do anything else in the afternoon. On the days i study i can't make music or  go running, because i can only focus on one area of my life. I can't even do normal chores on days where i have something else to do and it seems impossible to have a life because of it.\n\nDo you know if this is a problem due to asperger's syndrom and if autism-therapy could help with that?", "post_id": "i7aijs"}, {"question": "therapy and abusers group", "comment": "Hello everyone,      \n\nI've been with my SO for the past 2 years and it's been going great. But out of no where, it's gone completely down hill. When we argue, we argue over small, petty things that turn in fights that last a whole day. There's two sides of this. When I tell her something, and when she tells me something. When I tell her, she doesn't listen to what I have to say and gets mad at me, and we argue. When she tells me something, I have to continually ask her whats wrong as I just want to get over our problems as I hate it lurking for a whole day as it ruins my day, not to mention her attitude throughout the day. In any case, she won't tell me at all, and it becomes like a child and mouse game with her as she won't tell me what's wrong until I get completely pissed off and annoyed by her acting like this. By the time she begins to speak, I get way pissed off and begin to raise my voice and she will tell me to stop being angry and impatient. By that, I get even more pissed off as I usually wait a whole day for her to say something. Here is an example of our last fight, last night.          \n\nAt around 9am, she said \"How much would you pay for sex from me?\" I jokingly said \"$1\", to which she got mad. I told her sorry immediately, but instead of listening to what I had to say, about why I said it jokingly, she became mad. I hugged her at the same time, but she pushed me into the wall which seriously hurt my neck. I get pissed off by this and begin to hold her arms and body so she wouldn't hurt me more. She continued to be pissed off throughout the day and I continued to ask her whats wrong so she would talk with me. At around 4pm, she tells me why she's so pissed off. But by that time, I'm to annoyed by her attitude and for me having to ask her continuously for whats wrong. In spite, I told her that she shouldn't ask me that kind of question, especially since it's not something someone usually asks, especially to their boyfriend. Fast forward to 1am. We're still arguing and she tells me how much of a POS I am for saying that. I tell her i'm sorry for saying that, but she blames me that I didn't even say anything. She gets up and tries to get out of the house. Admittedly, this is where I go wrong. I pull her arm and throw her onto the bed so she would just go to sleep. She gets pissed off by this and claws me with her nails. I get even more pissed off so I get on top of her so she can't move and hold her arms against the bed so she would stop clawing me. At the same time, I punched her leg and arm since she kicked me in the stomach. As we're doing this, I tell her to stop so we can talk about it the next morning. She stops momentarily, and then runs out of the house around 3am. I have to run after her and grab her and pick her up by her legs and bring her back to the room. I get even more pissed off by this that I slap her in the head, throw her on the bed, and then get on top of her again. This lasts until 5am to which we both get tired and fall asleep. Next morning we wake up around 11am. The same argument continues but instead of continuing to fight, we began to talk. We began talking about what happened and what was wrong. We never came to a conclusion and still are arguing right now.   \n\nIn any case, I know I'm completely at fault for loosing my cool for being physically and mentally abusive to her and I completely feel wrong for doing so. But what can I do? What should I do? If I seek a therapist will they call the police on me? I'd really like to fix myself and this relationship. \n\n\n\n", "post_id": "6bly0l"}, {"question": "I think you would be well within your rights to express concern to his GP - then let the GP work their magic. Otherwise you should just be candid to your relative regarding your concerns, and hope he takes heed. Cant give you a specific line to use, though.", "comment": "An elderly relative (73, Male, 6'00', White English, Midlands UK (so NHS), Some historic angina) has been initially suspected of having Bowel Cancer, and having has a colonoscopy and CT scan he is awaiting his diagnosis and prognosis.\n\nin the meantime his Chiropractor / Naturopath has been providing glutathione IV and injection treatments. He has 'referred' him to a 'prominent London naturopath' who has a documented history of GMC action, although he was cleared as his cohort was struck off within the same proceeding.\n\nI know naturopaths don't really mean much harm, but the very first letter from this guy has asked him to conceal the glutathione treatment from the doctor that will give him his Dx.\n\nI am struggling to make this relative see sense. He is spending many hours watching DVDs from these naturopaths but won't read 'Bad Science' or similar stuff I put in his hand. Although I've given him warning signs to look out for ('sugar feeds the cancer', administering antioxidants) he still trusts his n'paths more than the mediacal doctors or our opinions.\n\nIs there a killer line or short piece of evidence I can use to disrupt the pattern and get him to think critically about his situation, WITHOUT causing further harm?\n\nEdit: Seems a simple keyhole procedure is advised. He wants to wait for 3 months as his n'path says it can be controlled using natural remedies.\n", "post_id": "579np2"}, {"question": "Yes. Otherwise they will reach inaccurate conclusions based off of your performance. ", "comment": "I finally finally took my attention test. It was hitting the space bar on a keyboard every time I saw a letter on the screen and the second half was hitting space bar when I heard sounds in a certain order.\n\nThe letter test I'm pretty sure I bombed, but stayed awake the entire time. When I got to the sound part though I started off well but the longer it went on the worse I got and kept nodding off. I wasn't sleep deprived today though.\n\nIf I tell my psychiatrist I fell asleep will they make me pay for another test or is this common doing something this boring? I guess I should also mention the test was for possible ADHD and I'll go over my results at my follow up on the 6th.", "post_id": "4gj96c"}, {"question": "The addict is most likely correct, the drugs are a symptom not the problem. Self medicating is more the issue ", "comment": "I remember reading the title of this post one day and laughed thinking that it only applied to alcoholics etc. Today I'm quitting, I applied this quote to my own life and realized the dependency I had on bud and how it was potentially effecting my life. With a relationship lost in part due to pot I'm deciding enough is enough. I've quit before, but never for more than half a year or so. This time I mean to leave it behind me for good, if not for anything else than it now bores me. When you're high it's hard to really focus on doing anything for an extended amount of time and when you're sober all you want is to get high. \n\nIt's a shame really because I think pot has genuine positive effects to it, however I realize that in and for whatever reason my brain chemistry is affected to the point of almost a non sequitur. Meaning when pot is available to smoke, I'm gonna smoke it. I don't have the self control to take extended breaks or not use it when it's available so I need to leave it behind all or nothing. Wish me luck. \n\nSorry for the messiness this is my first post here. ", "post_id": "63f34e"}, {"question": "Ask your mom to become educated about autism:\n\nI bought everyone in my family a copy of this book, and when I told them I had autism, I told them the best thing they could do for me was to read this:\n\nhttp://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843104954\n\nI am not claiming that this is the perfect book, but it is thorough, and learning about and understanding your loved one is often the best thing you can do for them.", "comment": "Hi, guys. Last night, my mother and I watched [this episode](http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episode/autism-enigma.html) of David Suzuki's *The Nature of Things* on autism and a new theory that autism is caused by neurotoxin producing gut-bacteria. Now that she's seen it, my mother is pushing me to take an antibiotic called Acidophilus which (according to the program) is supposed to kill this bacteria, in the hopes that it will alleviate some of my social issues related to my Aspergers. \n\nI'm really not sure how I feel about this. My mom has always been supportive (she was the one that noticed my symptoms and suggested that I get tested), but I feel like she's hoping that this antibiotic will \"cure\" me. I'm fine with who I am but I don't want anybody to treat me as though I have a mental illness that can be cured. Has anybody else had a similar experience? What are your thoughts on the theory? I'm open to hearing any thoughts and opinions you guys have.", "post_id": "xmz2n"}, {"question": "This is not really a physician comment, but I have the same experience. I\u2019ve done some digging and the best I can find is that it may be due to detergent used in cleaning glassware. Or due to contaminants in water. It\u2019s maybe one of those things that some people are genetically more able to pick up whatever odor it is.\n\nI don\u2019t have any more useful advice, unfortunately.", "comment": "40 M, 5' 8\", 225 lbs, non-smoker, no major issues.\n\nI have this thing where water smells terrible. Tap, bottled, filtered, any kind. But usually when I\u2019m drinking it. There doesn\u2019t seem to be any pattern or triggering event for it. I could be drinking a glass of water and it smells fine. I come back to it and it has that smell. Or it could be some random container of water and it has the smell right off the bat. I\u2019ve asked others to smell the water to confirm and they say it smells fine and I\u2019m a weirdo. The smell is like dead fish in a lake. Kinda swampy. That\u2019s the best I can describe it. It\u2019s been happening for a long time.\n\nIs this normal? A neurological symptom? Am I having a 20 year long stroke?", "post_id": "cxjkvu"}, {"question": "too immature for you", "comment": "So my boyfriend [22yr] had social media accounts just to look at very sexual accounts and all of that. When I [21yr] found this out, I told him how i felt about these accounts, how I felt hurt by it and all, so he deleted the apps the first time. And then I come to find out a couple of weeks later that he had redownloaded the apps and was looking at them on the daily basis again. So again I told him how I understand that he would look at porn and how i do it sometimes too, but the reason why the accounts hurt me so much was that they have become such a part of his daily life that he would go and check on them without thinking about it. Again his response was to delete the apps and said that he loves me and would not risk of losing me and all of that even if it meant deleting the apps. Today I found out that he has redownloaded the apps and back at it stronger than ever. I don't know how to feel about the whole topic again. I mean I feel hurt not just because it's becoming a daily thing for him, but he just going back to it and acting like nothing had happened. I don't know what to do anymore. Just wondering your guys opinion on the whole thing and sorry for the long post.\n\n\nUPDATE: He said that the reason why the apps are back is because his system got a update and that update sometimes bring stuff back.  I didn't know if that's true or not,  even if that's true,  how come he didn't deleted right as soon as the update was done because he knows how I feel about them. ", "post_id": "6ceca5"}, {"question": "I'm not a doctor, but I had issues with my eyelid twitching before.  Drink tonic water, it has quinine in it, and it helps reduce muscle spasms.  I know it sounds crazy, but it worked really well for me.  As for dry eye, I've always had it really bad in my left eye but not my right.  I use \"Blink\" eyedrops when it acts up.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "7cvc4h"}, {"question": "Don't take more than 450. I did once on accident and ended up needing to take an ambulance to the ER and stay overnight in the hospital. It was horrible, terrfiying, and really fking expensive. ", "comment": "My daily dosage is 250mg, but in hopes of feeling better from my worsening depression I took 300mg yesterday and 450mg today. What side effect could I see? Is the dose too high?", "post_id": "6dn3rs"}, {"question": "What do you gain by this relationship. What do you give up by being in this relationship?", "comment": "My bf and I have been talking about getting engaged. I know it's not super romantic to be having the conversation about it instead of just being surprised and doing it, but neither of us is particularly young and we both believe in making thoughtful decisions, especially when it has long term impacts. \n\nWe planned a date night to sit down and talk about foundational things, big things, deep things that will help inform whether or not we are a good long term match, and whether or not we will be able to see eye to eye and compromise on big life things that we may disagree on. \n\nI'd love some suggestions on things this community thinks we should ask each other.", "post_id": "drrkic"}, {"question": "Nope, not inherently.  Very much depends on culture though as to how close you have to be to someone to hug them.  I'm a guy and I hug most of my guy friends in greeting or saying goodbye who are comfortable with it.    \n\n\nFor instance, my family is an east coast, mostly irish and italian heritage.  We're very overt with displays of affection.  My wife still jokes about how uncomfortable she felt when we were newly dating coming to parties of my big extended family and getting hugged and kissed on the cheek.  It's normal for us, but for her family, very strange.  \n\n\nFlipside, I visit her family in the mid-west.  Lovely people, but very reserved compared to what I'm used to.  They used to make jokes about me always going in for a hug as I didn't realize until after, they felt a little weird that I was going in for a hug after meeting and leaving the first times.  \n\n\nOn one more note, some people just don't like to be touched.  If by their body language you get a sense someone is weirded out, don't force hugs.  Ask if you can give them a hug.    ", "comment": "I'm 17. I finished high school a few months ago. My high school has a tradition where the Seniors on their last day all say their good byes to each other and the other grades. I gave hugs to guys and girls. Usually I just give guys some dap ( a bro handshake), but I figured since it was our last day of high school, and I'm never going to see many of these people again, I'll give everyone hugs.\n\nAll the girls didn't mind when I gave them hugs. However, some of the guys didn't like that. I mean most of the guys didn't mind. But some of them, when I tried to give them a hug stated, \"You want a hug?\", like they were weirded out. When I tried to give them hugs they kind of pushed me off.\n\nIs it weird for a guy to hug another guy?", "post_id": "95wd10"}, {"question": "This sounds really unhealthy.  If you're questioning your faith or need help with spiritual guidance, he's not going to be giving you an objective and supportive point of view to help you figure out things for yourself.  \n\n\nIt would be like me going to my local butcher asking him for advice over the prospect of becoming vegan.\n\n\nIf you find aspects of it helpful and that they outweigh what's troubling you, continue going.  I'd highly suggest seeing a licensed therapist if you really want to explore some of this stuff in a way that's going to be more supportive.  If you have health insurance, it'll cost you a lot less than what you're paying this dude.  Lastly, NEVER take advice as \"professional advice\" about changing or going off your meds from anyone who isn't a Psychiatrist or Medical Doctor.  Even we licensed therapist know that it's outside of our scope of practice to give medical advice.    ", "comment": "I have been attending sessions with a spiritual counselor who has been helping me with spiritual guidance as well as personal issues. I've dealt with feelings of inadequacy for quite some time and he is walking me through to finding more confidence in myself. He even suggested I come off my antidepressants as he felt I was not depressed. He suggests I should do at least an hour or two of Bible study a day as well as write emails nightly to update him on my progress with faith and my issues. He doesn't have a license but he is very knowledgeable. He has studied the Bible extensively and is a very good resource. \n\nHe also sees other clients. Many of these clients have become my friends and have also joined a church group we have created on our own. We, once a month, have a very long session that can last 12-14 hours. I usually feel exhausted after these groups. During these we, as a group, discuss our personal issues and provide support to one another while also discussing faith. \n\nWhat has begun to trouble me is that he claims to be an expert at body language, so I feel intimidated at times when we are talking, like I can't hide my thoughts from him. He has also suggested that I can do more work concerning what we are covering and has provided a more intensive program of study to follow. I am currently in school and have slot of responsibilities. I did issued with him that I would like to back off the program but he suggested that it was me not wanting to do the work. I decided to stick with it but it has been very stressful. Other people in the group are doing the same program and they are doing fine, so I'm thinking it is me. But I don't know. \n\nI'm afraid to leave the group out of fear of losing my faith community since most of my friends are part of this group. And I'm finding it more and more difficult to pay for sessions with him, which are roughly $70 a visit. I'm not sure what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?", "post_id": "api6vf"}, {"question": "I'm curious to know why you don't think you had depression. Generally, those recurrent thoughts of death are fairly indicative of what would be considered depression, especially the feelings of being \"irreparably broken\". Regardless, people can often recover from mental illness without any kind of treatment, so that certainly doesn't disqualify your experience. It actually might be a good idea to go and talk about what happened, process it, and address these feelings around the experience you had.\n\nBeyond that to answer your initial question, yes, suicidal feelings without depression do happen, but they generally are more along the lines of \"I don't care if I live\", and associated with reckless behaviors like alcohol and drug use, among other things.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "3fn29n"}, {"question": "Apparently testosterone levels rise to 150% after about 7 days without masturbation.\nAfter that it stays around that level and - at some later point - begins to go down again slowly.\n\nI researched this a while back and you\u2019ll have to go back to google scholar if you\u2019re looking for the evidence. It\u2019s out there. \n\nYou may also try supplements (T-100 is what I\u2019m experimenting with at the moment; mixed results, but generally positive. Though 7+ days without sex/masturbation does have a more pronounced, noticeable effect for me at the moment).\n\nQuestion also is, what results do you expect from higher T levels?", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "cj085x"}, {"question": "i think it's up to him", "comment": "My son is currently having regular one to one sessions with his youth pastor, and I have been told about his good progress.\n\nThe pastor has suggested he spend some time with girls at the church, clearing his mind. The pastor said he is also working with a girl age 16 dealing with similar misguidance, and they they would volunteer together at the church and see how it goes between them. With valentines coming up, it is good for him to be in a healthy normal relationship. I'm not sure if this is too rushed, as valentines is not a big deal, I love my wife all year, not just one day. \n\nMy son has had about 8 (1 hour) one to one sessions so far in the last 2 weeks, but I am not sure if he is ready. The pastor has told me the girls parents like the idea, and that they have similar interests.\n\nHave any other parents here been in a similar situation? Under a pastors guidance my son should be on the right path to healthy relationships.\n\nlgbts not welcome to comment", "post_id": "5snb7t"}, {"question": "You didn't list required information, but unless you have a medical condition that requires regular phlebotomy, like hemochromatosis, there's no reason not to just stop.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9jmts9"}, {"question": "  I would go VERY slowly in relationships. This alone will weed out some of the jerks. Ask LOTS of questions over the first few months. Know their history, their needs, their wants, their expectations...... People who will hurt you have 'red flags' in their histories that will emerge if you ask the right questions. There are hidden gems out there. You have to be patient, and selective, and not needy about finding someone.  ", "comment": "Me and my best friend Allison are both single. I have been in several relationships and so did she. However, none of our relationships have lasted longer than 6 months due to the fact that all of the guys turned out to be total pricks. Now we are both wondering how to exactly notice if someone is a real gentleman or if he fakes for the first months so he can hop into bed with you. Please help us with your opinions so we don't need to waste our times on assholes!\n\nThanks so much in advance for your support!", "post_id": "63a87i"}, {"question": "Hallucinations are possible with either bipolar disorder or schizoaffective disorder; having them in the absence of mania or depression would point more towards the latter. Hallucinations can be upsetting or just odd. Although they're seen as *the* symptom of psychosis, often they're actually often not very impairing unless they're particularly distressing.\n\nThe term \"illusion\" is used specifically for mis-perceiving rather than perception with nothing there at all, but it's mostly associate with altered level of consciousness or lack of clarity and rarely like what you describe.", "comment": "Dx: bipolar 1 (possible schizoaffective, bipolar type according to some docs).\n\nAge: 26\n\nHeight/weight: 5'5\", 103\n\nMy doctors are well aware that I experience hallucinations, particularly auditory ones. However, I can't tell if what I've been experiencing lately is a hallucination, delusion, anxiety, or what.\n\nI tend to misinterpret my surroundings and I have to use a lot of grounding skills to tell myself, \"no, wait. That's wrong.\" For example, I might look in one direction and see a shiny red F-150 pickup truck, only to do a double take and realize it's just a tiny black trashcan, even though both of those things are different colors and even though trashcans and pickup trucks look nothing alike. \"I could've sworn that was in the shape of a huge pickup truck. I saw all the details of the truck, including the black scrape on the side and the bird shit.\" I may also hear wind blowing and then it sounds like bells are being played simultaneously or someone is screaming simultaneously. Then I say, \"wait. That can't be true, can it? Or is it?\"\n\nI also had this thing where people at work were talking and I could hear my name being spoken. For example, if my name is Robert, all i heard was \"Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert.\" No other words. Just my name being said repeatedly. Then I said to myself, \"no, that can't be true. Why would they be saying my name repeatedly? That's not even a conversation. That makes no sense...\"\n", "post_id": "8da5hl"}, {"question": "I got a resting metabolism measured by a specialist dietician. (She said that to measure a BMR she'd have to come to me first thing in the morning while I was still in bed, lol.) My metabolism is about 60% of what it should be, which she wasn't surprised by because of the PCOS. Insurance covered it (I have pretty awesome insurance) and it was super easy to do, you breath into a device for a few minutes and it spits out the data. It was an interesting experience. 10/10 I totally recommend it if you have easy access to it. \n\nMakes me feel like much less of a 'failure'. I still have to cope with it and make healthy choices from here on out, but it helps me not beat myself up over being 300lbs. Back of the napkin math tells me that since I gained it over 20 years, that's less than an extra 100 calories a day. Burning only 60% of what I should be that's honestly impressive I havn't gained more. ", "comment": "I\u2019m curious if anyone has gotten tested to find out what their TDEE/BMR is. I\u2019ve read some research that says women with PCOS have a lower BMR than average so I\u2019m wondering how much lower (if any) mine is. If you\u2019ve gotten it done was it actually lower? Was it helpful information? Did insurance cover it? How expensive was it? Thanks in advance!\n\nEdit: Additional question. What kind of professional did you go to to get it done?", "post_id": "8hrmjo"}, {"question": "Since she has been out of the hospital, how have you and your friend arranged to meet or get together?  Who contacts who?  \n\nYou mentioned this behavior feels very alarming to you, which it would to most people who have never been through something like this.  When you said \"alarming,\" can you give me an idea of an extreme situation you have witnessed?  Does she have a history of self-injury or suicide attempts?  Has she voiced she wants to kill herself or doesn't want to live?  \n\nI don't know the situation, but clearly your friend is struggling.  The simple fact that you care enough to reach out on reddit, that you want to form a plan, that you want to help your friend is soooo what she needs.  Be there for her.  Sit with her.  Listen to her, let her ramble.  If she seems coherent at some point, ask her what you can do to help her.  \n\nIf you think she's at the verge of potentially hurting herself or someone else, contact her place of employment and request for her emergency contact information.  It would be a medical emergency, and it sounds like she's demonstrated some odd behavior there, so it would be worth a try.  Take her phone from her if push comes to shove.  You're a good friend, she's lucky to have you in her life. ", "comment": "My best friend had a very severe case of postpartum depression. She ended up hospitalized three times for it. It has now been about 2 years and she seems to be spiraling downward. Her family noticed and had her go back to the hospital for inpatient help for a week. After she got out, she has become very erratic. She can\u2019t seem to focus on anything, doing odd things like sitting on the floor at work and ignoring her employees when they directly speak with her, and randomly getting up and leaving to go do something fairly strange (ex: suddenly leaving work and saying she needs to go to a water park). I\u2019m not sure what to do but I feel like this behavior is very alarming.  I know she just got released from the hospital so I don\u2019t know what to do or how to approach this. I don\u2019t have any of her direct families contact information to try to get their thoughts on the situation and she isn\u2019t able to hold a conversation with me long enough for me to be able to get a read on how she feels. Scariest of all was when one of her employees told me today that they don\u2019t know how she even drove into work. Any and all advice would be great. I feel over my head with this. ", "post_id": "8ywo6w"}, {"question": "OP I don't know what school you are going for but a lot of schools have free counseling services.  I would suggest \"going to school to work on school work more\" but go see/look into a counselor there.  They would be able to help you with all of these issues in your life, saving your mental health and allowing you to finish school.  ", "comment": "I am currently living at home with an emotionally abusive mother because I feel like I don't have any other choice right now. I am a student and have no means of income so I can't move out. If I were to quit going to school that would enable me to move out, but that also would me giving up a college degree. I'm just at a loss of what to do. I don't know if I want advice or anything, this is just something that needs to finally be said. ", "post_id": "2ru328"}, {"question": "I know you mentioned it, but seriously, see a professional. Look into the agencies and private practices and ask about sliding scales. They adjust your payment based on your income and it's far more affordable than you would expect. ", "comment": "Hello, Reddit.\n\nI'm looking for advice on how to overcome my psychological problems and roadblocks. I've tried to summarize them below, and I'd be really grateful for any piece of advice you can offer - books, guidelines, personal experience, subreddits, other resources, whatever. Any input you can give is important to me. I know seeking professional psychiatric treatment would be the best course of action, but I just can't afford it right now.\n\nSo, most if not all of my problems stem from me comparing myself with others, inferring my worth from such comparisons, and my perfectionistic streak. Also, my problems are mostly about my interaction with other people, in other aspects of my life I'm doing okay.\n\nI suspect these tendencies developed in my childhood - my parents always taught me to be the best, and I distinctly remember them saying that I should learn from other people's mistakes rather then making my own. I also never went to kindergarten, which I think set me back in my social skills somewhat. My social anxiety also became apparent pretty early - I can remember some of these problems manifesting at age 5-6. But I'm no psychiatrist, so I'm not going to try and over-analyze my childhood, this is just some background for you. I'm 24 now, and over the past year I've become more acceptive of myself, more forgiving for any imperfections, strong enough to try and change my life for the better.\n\n**The problems and anxieties that I could identify in myself:**\n\n* I always feel scrutinized, judged, like I have to perform well. Communication, work, appearance - I always feel like I have a standard to uphold.\n* Consequently, I feel like most other people are able to judge me, I feel the need to defend against them. I can begin to feel uncomfortable even if the person in question is not in a position to judge me, has no ground to criticize me, and their criticism can't affect me anyway. So, this isn't linked to how much weight or consequence their criticism will hold, but more to their demeanor and behavior. Someone who looks stern or judging can make me uncomfortable - for example, someone at work who should be answering to me, but is sullen and uncommunicative, or a stern-looking woman in public transport who I don't even communicate with. In both of these examples the person can have basically no effect on my life, yet I felt nonplussed by them. This also happens with people whose opinion is important to me.\n* I often feel like I'm on the defensive - I hold myself somewhat guarded, I use a lot of defensive expressions such as \"in my opinion\", \"I think so\", \"I guess\", \"probably\", and so on.\n* I'm always comparing myself with other people, and I get really defensive and guarded in a conversation if there is someone in the group whom I automatically identify as superior in some important aspect (demeanor, masculinity, sense of humor, activity in the conversation, appearance).\n* I'm very quiet in groups of people I don't know well. Most people that I know are able to get along easier in such situations. The more I stay quiet, the more anxious I get about being alienated from the group. The last two times I was in the company of lesser-known people someone commented on how quiet I am, which didn't help my self-esteem much.\n    \n**Some other things that bother me about myself:**\n\n* Sometimes, if I see a person trying to achieve results that I can relate to (get a job in my field of expertise, get some rank in a video game I play) I automatically wish for them to fail, even if I harbor no bad feelings to that person. The reasoning behind this is that if they succeed, they'll be better than me in some \"comparison\", and I'm going to feel bad. I don't want to be like this and I feel like a dick, but these thoughts are automatic.\n* Some days I feel small like a child, lost, and insignificant. At times like these it feels like everybody but me is confident and strong and knows what they are doing. I know it isn't so, but it just feels that way sometimes.\n* Acceptance and other people's interest is very important to me. Sometimes I dwell on the thoughts that other people are way more popular, say the few friends that I have. It's true that I'm very much alone and mostly ignored by people, however I don't think that's anyone's fault but my own. Sometimes I go for days and weeks without talking to anybody outside of work. This brings me down often.\n    \n**TL;DR - I've got some psychological problems I'm trying to overcome. Any advice you can give would be great! Thank you!**", "post_id": "25kg7k"}, {"question": "How long have you been taking Vyvanse/Elvanse and quetiapine?\n\nThe piece about carbon dioxide isn't right. Masks are too porous to decrease oxygen or increase carbon dioxide. Even much tighter N95's don't do that, although they can make your face and breathing uncomfortable.", "comment": "Hi, I'm 21F white female, 5\"5 and 55kg, I take 40mg Vyvanse (Elvanse here in the UK) daily in mornings and 125mg Quetiapine daily at night. I have suffered from unexplained neck, back, jaw and cheekbone pain, fatigue and headaches for months. I also nearly faint everytime I get up. More recently I have experienced random spells of dizziness or spinning. I thought this may have been related to kyphosis, but in the past week I went outside and exercised for the first time in ages since the lockdown. About 20-30 minutes into the walk, I start becoming very short of breath, nauseous, lightheaded, chest and throat pain, I have to sit down and rest to recover for a few minutes before continuing. This has happened everytime I've walked for the past couple weeks, but today I continued to feel chest pain, short breath, fatigue and echoing pains in arms and back hours after the walk while resting. My mum is alarmed and believes it could be related to my ADHD meds. She also considered the possibility that it could be due to me wearing a mask, thus inhaling more carbon dioxide than normal. Is this alarming, and do you think this is likely the cause of medication? Should I take my dose as normal tomorrow or should I seek medical advice? Note that I'm wary of speaking to doctors because I'm slightly afraid of them taking my medication away, but equally I'm a bit concerned this may be serious.", "post_id": "hc9i38"}, {"question": "Why would you want to be with a person like this?", "comment": "My GF and her 3 kids started staying with me and my two kids about 2 months ago. We have been together for 10 months. \n\nShe hasn't offered any money for the bills. She tells me that shit will and sometimes she has given me money, only to ask for it back because she needs it. She's financially irresponsible. I've given her money for things she needs.\n\nWhen she don't have the kids, I'm at work, and she's off, she drives around visiting friends that are 30-45 minutes away all the time. She goes out to eat, she goes and has drinks, and just other stupid things.\n\nShe has things that she needs to take care of but she doesn't. Her phone has been broke for a couple of months. She can only text. So when daycare or school calls her she can't answer. She needs to find some papers so she can finish filing her taxes. Get her license unsuspended, and get her divorce from her ex started.\n\nShe has a 3 year old who could possibly have some issues, and is hard to handle. So because of the fits thrown when the child got put into the car seat, the child doesn't sit in a car seat. They just wonder around the vehicle or sit up front. \n\nNow that I've typed this out and read it, I feel completely different about the whole situation...\n\nI'm not sure what to do now. I love her. I love her a lot. She has changed my perspective on life, and shown me a lot.\n\nI know she can be an amazing person. I can see that she was in her life before.\n\nI'm just so confused. I don't know what to do. I love her, but I don't want her bringing me down with her.", "post_id": "fe8bzu"}, {"question": "Please be as detailed as possible in your submissions. The more information we have the more we can help. It is **mandatory** to include: age and sex (please write as [year][sex], e.g. 18M), height, weight, race, primary complaint, duration, any existing medical issues, current medications and doses, and whether you drink, smoke, and/or use recreational drugs. For all other visible issues, particularly dermatological, a photograph is not required, but always helpful.", "comment": "This is not fake. I know it sound strange, but never in my life I have sweat. If anyone can tell me why, please do. Been like this my entire life\n\n15M\nEdit for more info:\nOk. First of all, I do t smoke, do drugs, I take 10mg of meletonin to help me with sleep problems. No aclcohal. No visible issues with with. I weigh about 130-150 (been a while sconce I checked, do not have a scale) I\u2019m 50-50 Irish and Porta Rican. No medical issues.", "post_id": "fgowlo"}, {"question": "no one should be in a rel. more than a year without commitment", "comment": "For background my fiance has not had a close relationship with his family though he does with his grandma (whom I adore and who shows us a lot of interest and love) who babysat him all the time. He was verbally/emotionally abused by his father growing up and yelled at for not performing to his fathers' standards in golf or in school, and it typically happened whenever his father (sober for about 5 years now) was drunk. His mother never stepped in and also agreed with his father whenever he would be yelled at. His younger brother was even yelled at to the point of fainting from anxiety when he was just 3 or 4 years old, and needed to be taken to the ER. The doctor summed it up to \"anxiety\" and his family views it as his brother having anxiety, and not that being screamed at caused his anxiety. My fiance also has issues with communication and suppressing his feelings which I attribute to his upbringing by his parents. He's even had issues with suicidal ideation in the past.\n\nNow that his father is sober, they act like all of that never happened and it was never discussed that what they did to their sons was wrong. His brother has a complex and absolutely adores their parents. Fiance tells me this is also the reason he decided to go to boarding school on another island when he was accepted in freshman year of high school.\nI've had issues with his parents since we began dating in high school. For starters when I was introduced to his mom, my memory of her is saying \"and who is this?\" referring to me, and then after being introduced, not being asked any conversational questions but either going back in the house of continuing to only talk to my fiance. Our relationship has continued to be awkward with me feeling uncomfortable because she would seldom try to make conversation with me or get to know me, and would direct her attention only to her son to talk gossip or ask questions that I would not be involved in.\n\nWhenever I'd give them gifts from my fiance and me, I don't receive a thank you or acknowledgement. Yet, I make it a point to thank them and they are sure to say \"You're welcome\" but can never thank me.\n\nWe recently went home to the island we're both from. Since knowing we were going to get engaged, I told him we should start staying together instead of each others' parents houses separately in anticipation of how it's going to be when we're married. We have been staying at my parents house for about a year whenever we go home for holidays or special occasions because I feel more comfortable, and we actually have a bed to sleep on instead of at his parents' house where it's too hoarded to have a free bedroom or bed available.\n\nThey haven't asked us about our wedding plans or any way that they could help. My fiance says that it was the same way when he was growing up - that he'd have to ask them for stuff --even essentials for school -- as if they were holding a power trip.\n\nAnyways, on our most recent trip home, I had made sure he invited his parents to my family's christmas party. they responded \"ok\" but never showed up. They weren't even going to tell us that they werent coming until my fiance texted them asking if they were coming. I was extremely offended that they didnt even have the decency to say that they couldn't make it, but then I let it go.\n\nThe next morning on Christmas day, I texted them both saying Merry Christmas and that we still had their gifts because we thought we'd see them the night before. The father texted back with no \"thank you\" but that they (he, fiance's mom, and younger brother) were watching their friends' daughters open Christmas gifts.\n\nHis mom then texted my fiance separately \"When are you coming to get your gifts?\" At this point I was pissed off. My parents drop stuff off things they want to share such as food and things from the garden at their house all the time, yet they never make the effort to drop off stuff at my parents' house to give things they have to share. It's always as if we have to go to THEM and that we should be thankful that we get stuff from them. It's so twisted.\n\nShe asked again when his flight was so my fiance just told her we would stop by before going to the airport (instead of going to spend time with them). When we went over, the same thing happened where I gave them their gifts addressed from fiance and I and not a single thank you. \n\nOur reoccurring arguments come with me feeling hurt, ignored, and unappreciated by his family. My fiance's solution is to avoid contact with them and to have them make the effort to talk to or see us, but I come from a close knit family and am having a hard time with the fact that he doesn't even tell them when they're wrong or doing hurtful or rude things to us. I want to do couples therapy but fiance says that it's just going to be being told everything that he already knows that's messed up with his family. Is the avoid contact thing best to do??? I feel like it just invalidates my feelings because it does not let them know how their behavior affects me AND their son.", "post_id": "5l5l1y"}, {"question": "Am a mental health professional here.\n\nMental health records are protected (confidential) information. So your school wouldn't have any way of finding out if you get mental health treatment, including psychiatric medication.\n\nPlease see a therapist skilled in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Or a psychiatrist. Or both.", "comment": "21 Female\nUSA, full body\nNo known medical condition (diagnosed)\nBirth control\n\nStressful events and life changes continue to occur this past year, randomly get anxious in public.\nI'm afraid of where my mind goes when I feel like this. I always get thoughts to hurt myself, but I know I shouldn't the thoughts keep coming.\n\nBiteing my lips and my finger help with it sometimes. My heart races and I can't think.\n\nI feel alone, and don't think I can go to my family even though I live with them kinda.\n\nIf I go to a doc and get diagnosed with something I loose my scholarship but I get more stressed at school. I'm just a failure either way. How can I feel better?", "post_id": "aeqlqh"}, {"question": "Excellent question. I wouldn't even necessarily talk about it in terms of cheating, but rather in terms of boundaries.  Most would agree that having sex with someone other than your monogamously defined SO is cheating.  Beyond that, yes, it's a very individual notion. But, YOU are totally entitled to feel the way you feel. So if you and a SO are not on the same page, then it's something that definitely has to be worked out for the relationship to be successful.", "comment": "Personally I think cheating is flirting/initiating something romantic or sexual with another person other than your SO. My previous boyfriend asked his ex for naked pictures and flirted with girls on social media. I considered that cheating, prompting me to leave him.   \n\nHowever others have told me that they wouldn\u2019t consider that cheating since he didn\u2019t physically do anything with a girl, and they see it as a form of pornography. \n\nWould you say that the boundaries for what\u2019s considered cheating in a relationship are an important factor to discuss if I were to get serious with someone? I never knew that people had differing opinions on what they considered to be cheating. ", "post_id": "78qsf0"}, {"question": ">My question is: even though I have not found the right fit, I still have taken some valuable lessons and information from each therapist so that is some kind of progress right?\n\nYes, that is absolutely progress. I would say most often change that happens is more about changing trajectories; it may be small in the moment but it large long-term. \n\nThere are times when a big change happens quickly and those are most memorable. But most is the smaller step-by-step progress.\n\nReading books and continuing to try to find someone to work with is good work.  ", "comment": "So here goes. I am not sure where to post this but I could use some advice from trained therapists. \n\n​\n\nI am on my 6th therapist..well just terminated with my 6th this year. I cannot find a fit and I am so frustrated. I am torn between going to a 7th this Saturday because our text exchange before even meeting has seemed very odd. I still don't know if my gut is telling me to run or not or not go (written in previous post)\n\n​\n\nBut I am trying to reframe this experience so I can keep going.\n\nEven if I haven't found the right therapist, I feel like they are still out there somewhere but I am just afraid I cannot afford it right now or cannot afford to keep throwing hundreds of dollars at this. The system in the US fucking SUCKS.\n\n​\n\nAnyways, in the meantime I have been reading every book I can. Books on empaths, books on CPTSD, books on DBT, CBT, anything and everything about mental health and self-care. I still am not sure what my official diagnosis is yet..as I have not stuck it out long enough with anyone for them to be able to get a clear picture either. But I have been told...GAD, PTSD, Empath and well it has been implied maybe even BPD.\n\n​\n\nMy question is: even though I have not found the right fit, I still have taken some valuable lessons and information from each therapist so that is some kind of progress right? I need to beleive that my growth and healing journey is still going even if I don't have that 1 hour a week support system to bounce ideas off of.\n\n​", "post_id": "ae7vt7"}, {"question": "The term 'fixed' within the confines of sobriety is, in my personal opinion, a fallacy. To your question, \"will i ever be?\" My answer to that if you are indeed an alcoholic is, no you will not ever be fixed. Our disease is always laying in wait, ready to pounce the second we take the first drink, and it's not just gonna go back to normal if you've been sober for x number of days, it will be the same ugly bastard it was the last time you hit bottom. A man in my home group spent 10 years in prison, and he always says, each day he receives a reprieve from his disease, not unlike that of a death row inmate getting a reprieve from the governor. \n\nJust remember that you can do this. It always helps me to look at it as, that first drink is death. It is a serious serious disease, but you can survive it and you can recover.", "comment": "Made it two weeks without touching a drop yesterday :) was so proud of myself! Have been feeling good and thinking about getting back to training in martial arts.  In fact can't wait to!  Then the evening draws in and i find myself at the supermarket, picking up the few usual bits and remembering that it's mothers day on sunday... 'I'll pick her up a bottle of wine' i think.. And find myself with an extra, for me. Should i feel bad about this? The wine didn't last two minutes which to me says i'm still not fixed... will i ever be? Although i feel sure i can now get through the week without an alcohol crutch, i'm still scared of returning to that mentality of 'drunk is better'.. That one bottle reminded me that in my head i still feel like i function better on alcohol. Which isn't the place i want to be in. Now need to fight even harder to stay strong for the rest of the weekend!", "post_id": "19ypn0"}, {"question": "You're asking for a lot in a little time that doesn't really exist. We don't really know how to use the brain to modify habits except for using biofeedback. The brain is so complex, if you want a comprehensive knowledge of it you have years of study ahead of you. ", "comment": "I want to have a comprehensive, coherent understanding of how the brain works in a pragmatic, actionable context of self-understanding and development (specifically, for the purpose of reforming habits to live as healthfully and productively as possible). I don't have much free time so the more concise and applicable the information is, the better. What are your favorite sources for information on this topic? Forums, directories, books, sites, podcasts, etc., what are the most helpful that you've encountered? Any suggestions appreciated. Thank you, my dudes.", "post_id": "47gx1v"}, {"question": "Narcissists tend not to think of themselves as narcissists...", "comment": "I have always known that there is something wrong with me, but I didn't know what. After my last failed attempt at an intimate relationship, I have started reading about BPD (something that was fitting for my symptoms) and then NPD. I think I might suffer from the latter, as well as half of my family, and I am worried that I will end up all alone, in my high tower, having alienated everyone.\n\nI am good looking (not the best, just good) and hypersexual, yet I mostly masturbate. I don't want a partner, unless I perceive him as really desired. In this case, one out of two things happen: either I earn his heart and trust and then alienate him out of fear that he will abandon me (thinking to myself \"Did I do that? Did I seriously do that? Why? Oh, at least it's my fault, so I can fix it next time... it's not that I am unwanted per se)\"; or I win him, then I discover that he's not that great after all, and move on to the next victim without any real regard (\"Suck it up, that's life\").\n\nAs I want to experience real love and intimacy with a partner I desire, I need help ASAP to change my shitty ways and stop manipulating and exploiting people.\n\nMy fears are comical: first of all, I fear that my \"partner\" might think about me in the same way that I think about him. Which is a totally disrespectful way, as an object (of desire), a mere function, an accessory...\n1. He is MY partner, MY sweet-talking vibrator, MY walking erection (caused by ME, of course I can tolerate the though of his dick getting hard for another WOMAN... if he fucks goats, I'm OK with it), MY sweet smile (as long as it's ME making him smile) -\n2. MY pet empath, MY mirror-mirror on the wall, I can shine my brilliance at him and watch him reflect it back on MYSELF with the vibrant power of thousand projectors. He HAS something I lack and desperately crave, he has empathy and can GIVE love, things I lack, but desperately need. Each and every time I think to myself that this time I will make right. But I always do wrong. The harder I try to avoid damage, the worse the damage is.\n3. He's my personal audience, my faithful dog, dare he not be happy being faithful or being a dog, It makes me want to annihilate him. I am vindicative, but I don't take revenge, as I recognize that it won't help. But I have sworn revenge to many people, not only romantic partners, but anyone who disrespects me in any way.\n\nI don't want to talk to people, I want to charm them and capture their minds and hearts. I pretend to listen and understand them, but only because I know that this captures minds and hearts.\n\nI don't want to have sex with men, I want to demonstrate to them my passion and enthusiasm, my bedroom acrobatics, hook them and make them crave me, this is my fantasy. Actually, if I have to be fair, I am a pretty mediocre lover, unless I am enthusiastic about the partner (and myself, and how he looks on me). Then I become ... an enthusiastic partner, which is always good, but nothing very special.\n\nAfter losing a romantic interest to my ego one more time I have decided that I can't afford this cycle to continue. Last time I tried to avoid manipulation and pretense, but things became horrible. I decided to \"show weakness\", but instead I raped emotionally the poor man and I feel awful. I vomited my insecurities and inferiority complexes all over him. \n\nSuch horrible self-inflicted humiliation shattered my ego and I was a barely-functioning zombie for a while. I discovered a website, extensively dealing with NPD on the webs, and I think that it perfectly describes the way my brain works. The funny thing being, these things were always there, but I couldn't see them. My grandiose fantasies, my addictive behavior, total disregard for others, my addiction to flattery, including self-flattery (can't do anything about it - my own ego manipulates me into total submission).\n\nMy own version of empathy - I don't think about others, I will myself to think about others, then quickly start thinking about how I am thinking about others and how empathetic I am.\n\n\nEven after discovering what is wrong, I just can't stop thinking about MYSELF and MY NARCISSISM. \n\n\nProfessionaly, I am doing OK, I  love my job. It's the only thing capable of distracting me of thinking about MYSELF, MY PROBLEMS, MY BRILLIANT PERSONA, etc...\n\n\nI can see how pathetic I am, or more likely, how just OK I am and how huge the gap between my self-image and real self is. It stings my ego, but that's OK.\n\nThe question is, can I learn how to love. Not just men, but my (imperfect) self, our (imperfect) world and to value this imperfect life. Or is this like diabetes, incurable?", "post_id": "61n4wu"}, {"question": "Oh yes. ... I hear you but the booze makes it harder. Stay strong... and be kind to yourself", "comment": "Wouldn\u2019t call it an actual craving to drink as I know it wouldn\u2019t help, but it is tough living with a 2ft tall psychopath (one that I love dearly and I know I\u2019ll miss this age eventually)\ud83d\ude1c. Onward!", "post_id": "c00s0k"}, {"question": "I was on Prozac for the first 9ish months of my recovery. I got to the point where I no longer needed the medication and I've been off of it for the last few year. Whenever I start getting depressed again I go see my therapist and generally that's enough to bring me back up. I think if medication is necessary then take medication!", "comment": "One of the first steps that I took rather than admitting that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable was to see a psychiatrist.  That made the most sense because I was obviously crazy right?!  She has had me on a buffet of medication over the last year with some decent results.  I'm just curious though how everyone feels about medicating and if you have been prescribed medication then what are you taking?", "post_id": "5vk0gz"}, {"question": "Quick question from your original post - you describe it an an anxiety induced mania? Is that how your psychiatrist described it?\n\nAlso - your hospital experience is horrendous, albeit confined to the USA. Not UK policy or practice by a long shot, to reassure any British readers.", "comment": "Three weeks ago, I was hospitalized due to a severe adverse reaction to Prozac (10mg/day). I took it for six days before I went to the ER, and those days were probably the worst of my life. I was going in and out of catatonia for hours, my heart rate was constantly above 110 bmp, insomnia, constant nightmares, severe constant panic attacks for days, and obsessive self-loathing thoughts; these were all symptoms I never had before. [I wrote about my experience in more detail before.](https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/72eank/how_less_than_a_week_on_prozac_sent_me_to_the/)\n\nOnce I was hospitalized and taken off Prozac, I was prescribed Remeron (15mg/day) and Klonopin (.25mg 2-3x/week). The first week I felt nearly back to normal, but these last two weeks my depression has never been worse. The anxiety is bad too, but the depression is all consuming and it's an immense struggle to function even at the lowest level (washing my face, brushing teeth, going to bed, etc.). I don't know what has happened to me and I'm scared the Prozac could have caused permanent damage because I was never in such bad shape before.\n\nI'd really appreciate some answers because it's nearly impossible living this way. (I am seeing a therapist btw, and told them this too).\n\n* Age: 23\n* Sex: Female\n* Height: 5'3\"\n* Weight: 100 lbs.\n* Duration of complaint: 2 weeks", "post_id": "75hly8"}, {"question": "if you're not in a committed mono rel. u can do whatever you want ", "comment": "Okay, so I don't know if this is the correct subreddit to post this in but here goes. \n\nThe other week the guy I was speaking to/seeing privately decided he didn't want to speak to me anymore. Am I wrong for going and having a one night stand that night, very soon after? \n\nAnd if I am wrong, is it justified that I receive messages from his friend called me a slag and such terms? \n\nI feel everyone has different opinions on relationships, seeing each other and sex so I just wanted to see what others out there feel about this as I'm not able to talk to my friends, he didn't want people to know. ", "post_id": "5ssgng"}, {"question": "Benzo withdrawals can be dangerous. Consult your doctor. ", "comment": "I took lorazepam for a while, accidentally got addicted...made the mental choice to stop because my emotions didn't feel the same. I was completely numb, adrenaline suppressed. Asked to switch, got put on another benzo, clonazepam. Been weaning off for a couple months. I'm down to a half of a .5  pill  a day. Going off the pill entirely my body gets very anxious. Can I comfortably wean off this stuff? I figured going from half to nothing would work. More importantly, will my emotions/neurotransmitters allow me to actually have feelings again? I went on a bunch of roller coasters yesterday, I didn't experience it like I did pre-benzo. Falling in love, taking in the scenery, nothing feels the same, or much like anything. Anyone else have success stories with regulating how they experience feelings after getting off this stuff? ", "post_id": "1hmt9t"}, {"question": "What you describe could possibly be symptomatic of a few different mental illnesses. Depending on what else is going on in your life it could be anything from Major Depression with Psychotic features to Borderline Personality Disorder. Your best bet is to seek out a mental health provider in your area to get an accurate diagnosis as well as help. ", "comment": "I posted this on /r/depression but I didn't get many answers to my question. Anyway, here it is:\n\nI've always known that there's something tangibly 'wrong' with me: I never had any close friends; I was always bullied at school; have never been intelligent or 'driven'; and used to have detailed fantasies about killing people and rampaging with light-machine guns and such stuff. Lately though, as I've become a true adult, life has become impossible - I can't stress this enough.\n\nDue to the stress of not being able to fit in at work or being able to have relationships with people I've started having voices in my head. Now these voices aren't audible; they are more like intrusive thoughts that pop up very aggressively, usually when something bad happens or I've failed at something (I fail everything I ever do).\n\nThese voices tell me weird shit like \"God spits in your face\", \"You are a waste of everyone's time\", \"Kill yourself, you stupid cunt\", \"Hurry up and end yourself\". I don't understand what's wrong with me. I feel or show very little emotion and people at work have always joked that I'm a good candidate for a serial killer (a guy at my last job used to call me 'Bundy'). I enjoy self-harming to relieve stress.\n\nI'm an incredibly slow, lackadaisical person and have been likened to sloth or a zombie; I feel very narcoleptic and depressed very often but have times where also I'm annoying and hyperactive and get on people's nerves. People call me a mixture of things like \"calm\", \"laid-back\" but usually it's negative things like \"retard\", \"idiot\".\n\nI've never been diagnosed with anything, but I'm starting to worry that I might have to kill myself because I can't fit in or have a life worth living. I thought I had autism a few years ago but I can be very good socially, but I don't feel like a human being - more like an outsider or a visual replica of a human.\n\nDoes anyone recognise these symptoms, or am I alone?\n\nThanks :)", "post_id": "1shida"}, {"question": "Dude as someone who is turning 31 next month, the 20s sucked. Being a teen sucked. I'm actually better able to control my emotions and reactions, I am more responsible, and more independent. I never want to go back to that. My life continues to get better", "comment": "I turn 21 next week, and I\u2019m so freaked out by it. I love celebrating my birthday, but I don\u2019t want to get any older. If anything, I want to be a teenager again and relive those years over and over and over again. I\u2019m not even old, but it still freaks me out. Does anybody have any advice on how to cope with this?", "post_id": "bjyh5j"}, {"question": "Zoloft and Abilify are both good meds... for the right problems. They may not be the right meds for you, particularly since they are not for ADHD specifically (Zoloft is an SSRI antidepressant and Abilify is an atypical antipsychotic often prescribed for purposes of mood stabilization and is sometimes used in treatment of ADHD). Have you talked to your doctor about meds specifically for ADHD? There are non-stimulant options available if that\u2019s a concern for you. ", "comment": "So I was recently diagnosed at 20 years old with ADHD and a bunch of other things. I got put on Zoloft about 2 months ago and Abilify 2 weeks ago. I thought I was doing much better when it came to being more social with people and managing my symptoms when it comes to ADHD. I\u2019m a hockey player and I wasn\u2019t really able to play when I first started Zoloft while getting used to it but I was quickly able to get back into things, until today.\n\nMy coach decide to a check to make sure we have everything we need daily, warned us in advance and gave us a list of things he\u2019ll be checking for and if we don\u2019t have everything, we\u2019ll get sent home. I was so focused on getting everything that I forgot my binder, which has all of our plays and team culture written in, the most important thing. So of course I got sent home from practice.\n\nI\u2019m tired of forgetting things all of the time and tired of thinking I\u2019m doing better when in the end I\u2019m just not. How do i not feel like a total failure of a person? Why of all 30 people on this team it has to be me, a third year veteran who should be able to do these simple things? \n\n", "post_id": "aioj0u"}, {"question": "Porn is a tricky topic because it involves personal values AND it may or may not have anything to do with the relationship one is in.\nif you're not ok with porn as an activity, then the rel. won't work unless he feels similarly.\nif you are ok with porn from a values perspective, the next question is; is porn preferable to being with one's SO? if the answer is yes, that individual needs therapy.\nif you are ok with porn as an activity, and someone is involved with porn in a way that does not interfere with the relationship at all, then it shouldn't be a problem. the way playing a lot of golf may or may not interfere with quality time with a SO.", "comment": "Me [24]and my gf [22] have been together for almost two years. At first she was ok with me jerking off to porn, eventually she told me that it bugged her and she understands that I only do it to help me fall asleep or when she is not in the mood. But it still bugs her. She has told me the reason it bugged her was because it made her feel a bit insecure about herself. And it also reminded her of how her father use to watch movies or show just to see sex scenes and it would bring up bad memories. ", "post_id": "62a3uw"}, {"question": "You will probably need a teacher or other staff member to be a sponsor for it. I would ask your teachers to see if anyone is interested and they can tell you how it would work at your school.", "comment": "People who have a d&d club at school, what are the rules? I am trying to start one at my school", "post_id": "d310a0"}, {"question": "Fatigue and lowered mood are possible side effects. Weight gain would be unusual, and hair loss extremely so. What you're describing could be an endocrine problem like hypothyroidism. Has that been tested?\n\n12.5 mg is half a tablet, right? That's the lowest dose, and almost certainty safe to discontinue. It would be hard to find a lower dose to take without special formulation by a compounding pharmacy!", "comment": "25 yo female taking 12.5 mg once daily for palpitations. I was on 25mg up until October when my doctor allowed me to cut my dose in half. Over the past few months I have been experiencing weight gain, hair loss, and general fatigue. Are these normal side effects?\n\nI am thinking of stopping metoprolol but I know quitting cold turkey is usually not recommended. Is 12.5mg a small enough dose where quitting cod turkey would be ok? ", "post_id": "8a264k"}, {"question": "Your \"girlfriend\" is actually being really honest and respectful with you here. She's not hiding the fact that she can't deal with the loneliness with anything other than sex. She's let you know up front that she's going to be with other guys if you're not there. Loneliness can be such an incredibly overwhelming emotion that people will do just about anything to feel a little relief from it. \n\nYou have to decide if you're willing to live like this. Her needs and fears aren't going to change, and honestly, they don't have to. You also have to remember that the closer she feels to you the MORE loneliness she feels when you're not there. So, she's constantly having to battle pushing you away in order to minimize the feelings for you vs. getting closer and risking hurting you. She's in a no-win scenario here in her mind.", "comment": "This is a really long story but bare with me, Ive never asked a question on reddit but I got nobody else to ask so ill give it a shot. I had been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, we met shortly before i left for university in another city so we kinda just left things open, but still kept in close touch while i was gone.  As we talked more, and i came back for vacations, and she even came to visit me a couple times, we fell in love with each other and now i cant picture my life without her. after every time i saw her, we'd get more sad to see each other leave.  Even though we agreed to kept things open for the months i was gone, we both never slept with anyone (me because im a loser and i have no chance with anyone anyway), because we were so in love with each other, even tho she could have many times.  But the last week or two of me being gone, she slept with like 3 different guys.  Even tho we both agreed to be open, i didn't expect to fall for her like i did, and if she wanted to have sex with other guys, she couId have done it throughout the year, not all in the week before i get back. So that really bothered me.  I think it has something to do with her missing intimacy with someone she loves to the point where she just fills the void with whoever she wants (shes SUPER hot and could literally have any guy she wants).  Anyway now that im back for the summer weve gotten so close, but she insists that when i leave, we keep things open cause she cant handle it.  Everytime were away from eachother (even for a day), we fight over something stupid cause she gets upset at me cause she wants to be next to me.  I know for a fact that when i leave, shes gonna fuck as many guys as she can cause she hates the feeling of being alone and i dont like it. Idk if that all made sense but thats the situation im in,  i really love her and i dont want our relationship to end, but i know she wont be able to handle me being away for so long so she'll basically push me away and \"force\" me to break up with her by acting like a slut and picking fights with me.  I dont understand why thats her reaction to me being gone.  Anyway any help would be appreciated as to what i should do, or how i should handle this. Ask questions if u don't understand or i left something out, cause i know its hella complicated.  Thanks to everyone!\n\nUpdate: thanks to everyone for the advice, i think a lot of what makes me so upset is i dont really do anything with girls when im away, so its kinda like her doing all this stuff, and im just sitting at home waiting for her to text me (full if jealousy). I guess me not doing anything is a whole other problem in itself but i thought id share that.", "post_id": "6et6ql"}, {"question": "Yep! I was thinking this same thing today haha. I laugh because that's all you can do really. Keep fighting the good fight ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8dzwzn"}, {"question": "What's the requirement? If I meet it I'll take this Saturday(the 23rd).", "comment": "Starting again!\n\nSpots available every Saturday. We had a lot of no shows last string, which sort of sucks, because I think they are really powerful.\n\nSaturday March 23rd: [AFunnyName](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1av3x4/saturday_sharemarch_23_2013/)\n\nSaturday March 30th: [CalgaryRichard](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1bbr6t/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday April 6th: [futurestorms](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1btgwz/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday April 13th: [Slipacre Part 1](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1c9hj8/saturday_share_part_1_going_down/) [Part 2](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1c9hrb/saturday_share_part_two_recovery/)\n\nSaturday April 20th: [WIAVSM](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1cqw2o/saturday_share_wiavsm/)\n\nSaturday April 27th: [sgreenha](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d8bw9/saturday_share_427/)\n\nSaturday May 4th: [TheLastGallifreyan](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1dma52/saturday_share_4_may/)\n\nSaturday May 11th: chinopkt\n\nSaturday May 18th: VA_Mom\n\nSaturday May 25th: juliand89\n\nSaturday June 1st: mountainfail\n\nSaturday June 8th: coleomegilla\n\nSaturday June 15th: [spaceman_37](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1ge2zn/saturday_share_wall_of_text/)\n\nSaturday June 22nd: [thats_quite_enough](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1gv3un/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday June 29th: [missfestival](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1hb5cd/saturday_share_62913_missfestival/)\n\nSaturday July 6th: Kaysuhdiller\n\nSaturday July 13th:\n\nSaturday July 20th: flavorraven\n\nSaturday July 27th:\n\n\nThat's it for now. Sign up and commit!\n\n\nWe are also asking that the person doing their share to message whoever signed up to do the next share. With all our responsibilities it's tough to remember all the commitments we make. So help everyone out and send a friendly reminder!\n\n\n", "post_id": "1as5t8"}, {"question": "I was in a very similar situation several years ago: dated for 5 years, lived together for about 2, and once the relationship was tanking he said he'd move out, as I was also the primary person on the lease and all the furniture was mine, in a relatively big apartment. He was also rude and dismissive.\n\nBut when I made the call to end it, he wasn't particularly interested in leaving. Most likely because I was making the final call, not him. He initially wanted to still live there as just a roommate, but after a week it was clearly a terrible idea. I had to maintain a very calm, polite, but somewhat cold approach and keep re-iterating that he needed to move out. We talked about how I could move out instead, sort of, but we both knew that didn't make sense. He would have had nothing in a huge empty apartment, and didn't really have the means to fill it with furniture immediately. There were lots of awkward discussions. It was stressful. Eventually he left. There was arguing over stuff, even though it seemed like all our belongings were clearly his or hers. I let him take stuff I should not have, just to get him out, not sure if that was better or stupid.\n\nEveryone reacts differently to a break-up, but I think your best approach is to be calm but very very firm on your boundaries. Set a plan and stick to it. GOOD LUCK.", "comment": "Hey guys. I've been dating my bf for 4 years, lived with him for 1. In the past couple months I've come to the really painful decision of realizing I need to break up with him. \n\nI love him a lot, but he has been casually rude/mean to me on a regular basis for the last year or so. Anytime I bring it up he acts like it's just my perception of things, he doesn't need to change his behavior, and I need to just deal with my feelings. It's been making me feel crazy for a while, and I'm sick of living like this. I've tried to talk to him about it seriously several times, but he always blows me off/doesn't take me seriously. I don't think he's ever going to change, to the point I doubt he's going to take me seriously initially  when I break up with him.\n\nHowever, several things. I've never broken up with anyone before, we live together, and we just got a new roommate a week ago. It's bad timing, but I don't really want to stay in this situation longer for it to be good timing. I've picked a weekend two weeks from now to do it because he's got a rough week at work this week/weekend, and I don't want to do it during the week so he's stuck going to work right after a breakup.\n\n We've vaguely talked about this possibility in the past. Since my name is on the lease our agreement was that he'd take 30 days to move out, regardless of who broke up with who. I'm willing to give him longer if he needs it. But since I've never done this before, is there anything else I should watch out for besides general shittiness/heartbreak on everyone's part?\n\nTL;DR Have you broken up with a partner you lived with? What did you wish you could tell yourself about the experience before doing it?", "post_id": "3ji1qb"}, {"question": "\"Concerning for X\" means that the imaging shows a result likely to be X, not that X is necessarily cause for a high level of concern. The joke in medicine is that radiologists never outright state anything. What they see is   \n\"consistent with X,\" \"concerning for Y\" and \"possible Z,\" and they recommend \"clinical correlation\" by the initial doctor.\n\nIt sounds like there are still results pending, and after that you should have a follow-up with the endocrinologist to discuss best next steps. The management might be surgical and might not be, but it doesn't sound as though it's something highly urgent.", "comment": "Good Morning all! I will try to make this as concise as possible. \n\nI was diagnosed it a 3mm pituitary microadenoma almost exactly one year ago. It was found after I went to an OBGYN for some issues I was having with sudden weight gain, cystic acne, and irregular and painful periods. They diagnosed me with PCOS and sent me to the lab for some blood work. I had 3 blood tests in a row come back with high prolactin levels. They send me to an endocrinologist who ran some additional tests and sent me to get an MRI where they found the tumor initially. \n\nI changed birth controls at my OBGYN's guidance right around this time to help better manage my PCOS symptoms. As soon as I changed birth controls my monthly Prolactin levels were back to low-normal levels. \n\nFast forward to a few weeks ago, I went for my follow up yearly MRI and they sent me the following notes from my MRI:\n\nINDICATION: Follow-up pituitary adenoma\n\nCOMPARISON: 7/24/2017\n\nTECHNIQUE: Multiplanar, multisequence MRI of the brain and pituitary\n\nwere performed before and after the intravenous administration of 7.5\n\nMILLILITER GADAVISTV1. \n\nFindings:\n\nOn today's exam, there is an area of hypoenhancement in the right\n\naspect of the pituitary measuring 5 mm concerning for a microadenoma.\n\nThe area of hypoenhancement in the left aspect of the pituitary is not\n\nseen. Infundibulum is midline. No mass effect on the optic nerves or\n\noptic chiasm. Cavernous sinuses are normal.\n\nThe brain is normal in signal intensity and morphology. No mass lesion\n\nor abnormal enhancement is identified. The ventricles, sulci, and\n\ncisterns are age-appropriate in size and configuration. The major\n\nintracranial flow voids appear intact.\n\nIMPRESSION: \n\nArea of hypoenhancement measuring 5 mm in the right aspect of the\n\npituitary concerning for microadenoma\n\nAfter this my Endocrinologist had me do a blood cortisol test which came back high. They also ordered an ACTH test, another blood cortisol test, and I did a 24 hour urine test for cortisol. I am still waiting on the results for these.\n\nI have Kaiser, so it has been incredibly difficult to get quality time to talk this over with my endocrinologist and I feel like I just want a second opinion but Kaiser makes it incredibly difficult to do this. Even getting my medical records has been a struggle that I am still working through. \n\nMy main concern is in the findings from the MRI they say it is \"concerning for a microadenoma\" but my doctor doesn't really seem that concerned.  Is this wording common for MRI findings--what does \"concerning\" mean in this context?\n\nIf it helps I am 27 years old. I do have some symptoms that have started in the past two months that are strange such as frequent headaches and has become really incredibly difficult to lose weight even while eating relatively healthy and tracking my nutrition. I am slightly overweight at 169 and 5 ft 7. I have also been having some issues with my blood sugar levels, even though I eat a lower carb diet (try to stick under 70-80g/ day).\n\nSorry--I know this is a lot to read! I am really just looking for any advice or words of wisdom with dealing with issues with the pituitary.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated I have been quite worried about all of these tests and just want to make sure that I make the best decision for my health. \n\nThanks for taking the time to read this!\n\nTLDR; Growing pituitary microadenoma; Doctor seems unconcerned. Kaiser makes it difficult to feel taken care of. Advice wanted.", "post_id": "97ssi4"}, {"question": "I would talk to him about very specific things you're concerned about and need for him to change.  If he doesn't/won't/can't change, you have a big decision to make.", "comment": "Posting on a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my reddit username. So my current boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years and its the first serious relationship for both of us. When I first became interested in him there were a lot of things about him that worried me- he had been in the same dead end job for a decade because he hasn't finished uni, still was living at home and smoked a lot of weed (I have nothing against it but I think it can definitely affect you if you're smoking it every day). In spite of this he had a wonderful personality- very sweet, sensitive, respectful, generous and a true gentleman which is really hard to come across these days. In the 1st year/year and a half of our relationship he finally quit his job and found a good one working in the field he's studying and cut down drastically on how much weed he was smoking- I was super proud of him because I never asked or pressured him to do any of this and it seemed like our relationship had inspired him to make changes. Unfortunately in the last 6 months things have gone downhill. I've noticed how short tempered and impatient he can be with his family as a result of being quite spoilt his whole life (he's often like a bratty kid) and how extremely negative his outlook on life is. It's gotten progressively worse to the point where being around him is draining. In addition to this I'm getting extremely frustrated by the fact he's still living at home with his mother doing his washing, ironing and cooking with no foreseeable plans to become an adult and move out. It just doesn't seem right that even with our 9 year age gap I'm a lot more mature than he is. I've tried to have serious chats with him about all this but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. I still love him very much and want it to work but I'm scared of wasting my early 20s in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. Should I lay it on the line and give him a certain amount of time to get his shit together or just end it now?\n\n\n**TL;DR - boyfriend is a nice person but immature and still living at home, not sure whether to give him another chance or end it**", "post_id": "5qavet"}, {"question": "Putting certain things in exactly the same place every single times. E.g. my work ID does not leave my bag front pocket unless it is clipped the fuck on my pants. As someone else has said, a key that NEVER goes inside, it is in my hand or where it lives.\n\nIf I can do it within 5 minutes, I do it right now. I open a bill at the front door, I pay the bill at the front door, even if my daughter has to wait for me to do it.\n\nI'm currently trying the \"don't put it down, put it away\" but really struggling with that.\n\nOk Google is my best friend. \"Ok Google remind me at 8pm to do the online shopping.\"", "comment": "I always lose my glasses so I bought three pairs. Now, when one is misplaced, I immediately find one of the others and can proceed to get to work on time. Buying more pairs of glasses has done wonders for the time it takes for me to leave the house and for my over all mental health as I dont stress as much looking for my one missing pair all over again. Pricey, but I have adjusted to myself. \n\nCan anyone else suggest any similar adjustments youve made for your condition that may be helpful?", "post_id": "bt7m8u"}, {"question": "I hate hookup culture mostly due to the fact that people blur the lines of consent because it's just a part of the culture. :|", "comment": "I am not into hook up culture at all. I like romance, not overly schmoopy, but I like the emotional connection. I can't just like anyone. I am not the only one like that right? It sometimes feels like that.", "post_id": "3nnd0p"}, {"question": "I'm so sorry you went through that. Nothing justifies his reaction. He needs help to accept he has no right to treat his partners that way and you need safety. What you both need may not be possible to obtain within this relationship. \n\nYou value your physical and emotional safety. Consider how staying will impact your alignment to your values. What other values are you willing to be out of alignment with? \n\nWhether you choose to stay or go, I highly recommend you connect with a domestic violence counselor to help you process this incident and the impact this relationship has on your well-being. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 (800) 799-7233.  They can help you find a local DV counselor and can also help you find shelter if you are in danger. Know that you are strong, deserving of love and not at fault for what he did.", "comment": "I\u2019d been seeing this guy for a few months, things were amazing, we had been staying with each other a very large amount of time. Small back story, we met at a music event and instantly vibed together. Over the next few months he was the sweetest most loving boy I\u2019ve ever been with. He let me be my own person, did not ever get verbally abusive with me, nada. Well last night we got into a huge fight and I just shut down (a bad habit of mine) and it seemed like he just snapped because I would not let him in. He flipped the couch that I was trying to sleep on & then flipped it on top of me. I proceeded to stand up, very confused and he quickly made his way to me and picked me up and pressed me against the wall, screaming at me. I reverted to a passive mode because that was the only logical thing I thought to do for my own safety. I had to coddle him for the next hour because I was afraid he would rage out again. He left within the next two hours. So my question is, in your best thoughts/idea, what happened? Will he do this again? Technically we didn\u2019t break up but there has been no contact since. Is there any chance it was a one time thing or should I get out for good? I still have very strong feelings, but I have always promised myself I would never let a man lay his hands on me.. and this one did.", "post_id": "gc1fa3"}, {"question": "Quick question (sorry for hijacking the thread) - isn't there regulations in the US regarding prescriptions? Most of mine are electronically printed, but when I do write scripts I always use block capitals and no abbreviations. Honestly, im not sure any pharmacy in the UK would accept this.", "comment": "Hello, so I know this is for restoril, but I'm wondering what's written under it and what it means. See link below! Thank you :)\n\nhttp://imgur.com/a/fse0v", "post_id": "6emwan"}, {"question": "Im just here to help as I do as a professional face to face to people. Still, this stuff is heavy and really helping someone requires energy, of which I have a limited amount.", "comment": "Just sorting by new is enough to hurt my heart. So many hurt people asking for help with no responses. Over 125,000 subs, yet most seem to have either have given up or just dont care to frequent this sub. It's hard to think up of stuff to say, in fear that you might hurt someone.\n\nI legitimately hope everyone here lives a better life. <3", "post_id": "b4kstf"}, {"question": "This was me on Tuesday, and it definitely was not a new feeling!", "comment": "That is all", "post_id": "97nrly"}, {"question": "The best way to act stupid and awkward is to worry about acting stupid and awkward.   Relax, take a few deep breathes and remember.  The worst case scenario is that she doesn't like you.   That's about as bad as it gets.   It doesn't feel great, but it's not going to ruin your life.   \n\nAlso, no matter what happens you will learn something from this and it will help you in the future.   So even if it doesn't go great, the next time will be better.  \n\nSo just take it easy, focus on getting to know her and enjoy her company.   Oh and she's probably just as nervous as you ", "comment": "So yesterday, i was bored and it was 2am. One girl posted her ask.fm link and because we both love the same music style (classic rock, fuck yeah) i started asking her questions about bands etc.\n\n\nWe were texting for the whole night, we ended up saying goodbye to eachother at 5am. I refused to text her on facebook, because i hate meeting people on this stupid site, i prefer meeting people, especially girls in real life, because i had a lot more success with them irl than on facebook.\n\n\nAnyway, looks like we'll go to the same concert this saturday and she said that I need to immediatly talk to her if i see her there. I'm still new at meeting girls since i never had self confidence but since hitting the gym, my mentality changed and so did my confidence. I'm looking for tips on how to approach to this girl without being goofy and awkward at all. I'm also looking for more than friendship, so maybe any flirting tips? \n\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "3gyn5c"}, {"question": "Some demographics (age/sex/location/etc)?\n\nAlso - how is your day typically structured? Do you work?", "comment": "Good afternoon fellow redditors!\nI'm hoping that someone could shed some light or give me advice regarding symptoms I've been experiencing and if there may be an underlying cause responsible for them or if they are multiple issues. I recently went to a new doctor and she ordered several tests that I am waiting for, but a few I've already received the results for. Would like to ask more educated questions and request specific tests based in what may be causing my problems. \n\n\n\nMain issue that's bogging me down: fatigue. I am tired regardless if I sleep or don't sleep, if I sleep well or sleep poorly, if I sit on my butt and do nothing or have a really active day. To make a tech analogy, I feel like a phone with a battery that doesn't fully charge and then depletes way too quickly. This has been happening for about 1.5 years and is getting noticeably worse. \n\n\n\nOther big issue: recurring infections. Since the summer of 2015, I keep getting sinus or sinus related infections. My most recent sinus infection happened in mid November, which then progressed into an ear infection in December.  I took 3 rounds of oral antibiotics and 1 ear drop medication and my ear didn't start feeling better until earlier this month (February). The ear infection is still not 100% gone, but it seems to finally be healing.  My ear is now itchy instead of painful and I only have minimal discharge compared to the constant, heavy discharge of fluid I had before. I went to an ENT specialist and he said my sinuses look great and he suggested I investigate the possibility of immune/autoimmune problems if my sinus and ear problems persist. \n\n\n\n\nI have no idea if this is relevant or indicative of anything, but I have noticed black lines on my fingernails recently. They are very thin, black or dark brown perhaps, and vertical. I also have a very large brown/black spot on my right big toe that looks like I hit myself with a hammer or something, but I don't recall hitting my toe on anything. It is different from the lines on my fingernails as it is much, much larger and not in thin, vertical stripes. Can this be a sign of anything? Most Google results for nail related problems link to beauty blogs... \n\n\n\n\nOther things that might be worth mentioning:\nI just had multiple thyroid tests done and while my TSH and T4 were normal, I had an abnormal results for thyroid antibodies. The results showed a normal range of 0-9 but my results was just below 1,600. I have a long family history of hypo and hyper thyroidism in my family. \n\n\n\n\nMy white blood cell count is always slightly low. As part of my annual physical, I have gotten a basic blood tests.  The normal range on the report is listed as 3.8 to 10.8 and in 2015 I was at 3.7, in 2016 I was at 3.6 and this year I wound up right at 3.8. \n\n\n\n\nI have normal iron levels, normal iron bindiding capacity but low ferritin levels per my latest blood test. \n\n\n\nI have a family history of thyroid problems, and heart disease and my father has diabetes as well as psoriatic arthritis  although he is the only person in my extended and immediate  family that has or has ever had diabetes and psoriatic arthritis while the thyroid and heart issues are wide spread in my extended family. \nI personally have no history of any medical problems other than eczema when I was a child. Unfortunately I do not recall the specific type but I remember that it was a fairly uncommon type of eczema most common in prepubescent kids. \n\n\nThank you for the input! \n", "post_id": "5vehpt"}, {"question": "Where there's smoke, there's fire, as the saying goes. The ambiguous facts would seem to point to past rape or sexual assault experience. However, you dissociate, and do not recall any such experience, and in the absence of such memory it isn't clear that it must have occurred; It is at least possible that there is some other explanation, though personally I find that rather implausible. A cautious therapist might be concerned about giving you ideas that can't be proven, or even participating in the generation of false memories. In my experience, however, what you are describing is overwhelmingly likely to be post traumatic stress secondary to sexual abuse you do not remember due to the dissociation. Verbal and physical, non-sexual abuse does not produce the sort of symptoms you describe.", "comment": "TW all the way, you can skip and read the tl;dr here:\n\ntl;dr: I have sexual triggers but no memory of a sexual trauma. My therapist told me the triggers might come from my childhood trauma. Now I don't know how to feel. Is this common?\n\nSo I have those triggers like\n\n* going to the obgyn\n\n* having sex\n\n* mention of sexual assault and the like, in RL or tv ect.\n\n* being in a (public) situation that may or may not result in me being assaulted, e.g. speaking to a stranger/ walking alone alongside stranger(s). My thoughts just spiral till I am convinced they want to assault me.\n\nThat results always in panic/ distress and can result in heavy panic attacks/ disassociation.\n\nFurthermore I sometimes feel the urge to get rid of my sexual organs, like ripping them out of me because they feel rotten and disgusting and I feel like carrying a dead weight.\n\nI do struggle with urges of self harm too, because I feel the need to \"cut it out\", don't know what it is, but it doesn't belong there and I just feel it. This one may be related to another trauma tho.\n\nI do not have a memory of being r*** before but minor assaults. I do not remember 60% of my life.\n\nI told her My triggers and she asked about my family and there was a lot \"only\" verbal and psychological abuse, so I just never linked it together because I have other triggers too that \"fit\" childhood trauma \"better\".\n\nMy therapist told me that my \"sexual triggers\" might come from my childhood trauma.\n\nAnd I just... I can't breathe. I feel so invalidated and I just wanted to ask are there people having \"sexual triggers\" from verbal/psychological abuse? As I have no clear memory of a distinct event I'm not bound to the idea there *has* to be something that happened I don't remember.\n\nBut as a part of working on myself I tried to understand my triggers and separate them between 3 traumas, and one was the possible sexual trauma.\n\nI don't know how to feel about this and I think I need help. Does someone have triggers that don't really match their trauma? Is this common?", "post_id": "ewmv6o"}, {"question": "Very weird , definitely red flag. Totally inappropriate to use her influence to sell stuff ! \n\nI am curious what type of license she has, may be a direct violation .", "comment": "I saw a licensed therapist for the first time today and I have doubts about seeing her again, I'd like your unbiased perspective. I am a crisis counselor (unlicensed, we are supervised by a licensed therapist) and feel my work might be impacting my views.\n\nOn my intake I had expressed my feelings of being stuck,being overwhelmed, lacking motivation and wanted to be more assertive and be able to feel better and figure out what I wanted out of life. I've recently been crying at work for 3 days on a row and that is highly abnormal for me - therefore I sought help , because I was concerned this could be depression and want to get a handle on it BEFORE it gets really bad.\n\nThe therapist was nice and personable and had some good insights and questions that made me reflect and be introspective. However, in the middle of the session they pointed me to their life coaching website which she showed me on her computer, and her self-guided program for \"women like me\" and went on to explain for a few minutes why they had it. It seemed interesting, but that is not what I came to a therapist for. I lack motivation, a self-guided program won't give me the accountability I desire from therapy.\n\nWhile I was on her computer, she had her doTerra website on another tab (this is relevant later). If you aren't familiar with doTerra they are an MLM scheme ([r/antimlm](https://www.reddit.com/r/antimlm/)) and are very predatory. I have no issue with essential oil use at all - I have an issue with the company and its tactics.\n\nTherapist continues to state I should make more friends organically, and she happens to host events for women to meet other women in a safe space at catered events she throws, she charges for attendance of course, but she has them every week and the first event is \"Essential oils 101\" and how she is making a huge push into essential oils now, which I'll assume are doTerra.\n\nThat is how we ended the session. She made some great points, but I cannot help but feel like a cash grab for some reason. As a crisis counselor we do not even suggest support groups in the first sessions because we want to make sure people are at a mental state to do it. I don't see how a Essential Oils event will help me, if it was a skill building thing related to my issues, great! this does not seem like it.\n\nAm I biased because of my career? or?", "post_id": "fayd68"}, {"question": "I felt so much better off the pill. I had some increased shedding but a good volume if not all grew back. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "a9zz9k"}, {"question": "Well.... it may help to think about it this way or not.  You're never going to be your old self for better or worse.  Every single day, every single new experience, every single new choice, you become someone who's different than the person before.  \n\n\nAs far as goals go, focus on what you want to work towards.  If you have another breakdown, you have another break down.  At least this time as the new person you are you can have the confidence that it's happened before and you were able to bounce back, so you'll be able to bounce back again if it happens in the future.  Given that you've probably learned some things and acquired some new skills along the way, a future break down probably wouldn't even be as bad as the first.  \n", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\n​\n\nLast spring, I had a breakdown, there was just a lot of stress. I seemed to manage everything in my life pretty well, but had my first breakup and for some reason that just made me not able to handle any stress. It affected every part of my life.\n\n​\n\nI've taken a break from school and what I normally did, didn't really know what else to do, but did find a job and explored a new hobby during my time off. I don't know if my life needs to change completely though, before this breakdown I was a pretty disciplined hard worker. I liked to work hard and play hard. I usually would lift weights for strength training and my schoolwork was engineering and required good time management/focus on my part, but I got it done. I studied in groups, hung out with people outside of schoolwork, and felt like a pretty healthy picture of a person.\n\n​\n\nNow, these things seem a bit out of reach still. I don't seem to handle stress as well as I could in the past and it shows because I don't really live the life I used to. It certainly is depressing/anxiety inducing which is one thing I'm working through. I am struggling though because I'm not sure what goals I should postpone or restructure. I don't want to have another breakdown because of stress. What advice do you guys have for being afraid of another breakdown I guess? I think I'm also afraid I won't ever be my old self.", "post_id": "aqyhe0"}, {"question": "There isn't much in the way of good data for SSRI tapers, period. Zoloft isn't entirely out of your system after one or two days, so there's some reasoning behind taking it on alternate days, but why not take 12.5 mg instead? If you really want a slower taper, you could use the liquid form and decrease by as little as you want at any interval.\n\nYou could get a second opinion and find someone who would encourage doing it differently, but again, there's not a lot of strong evidence. You'd find people to say that it's best to do it slower. You'd also find doctors who would (wrongly, in my opinion) say that it should just be a few days and done.", "comment": "Age 24\nSex F\nHeight 5\u2019\nWeight 100lb\nRace White\nDuration of complaint N/A\nLocation (Geographic and on body) New England, USA\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any) Anxiety\nCurrent medications (if any) Zoloft (see below)\n\nAfter careful consideration and discussion with my doctor I have decided to taper off of Zoloft. I have been on 100 mg daily since I was 14. I tapered from 100 to 75 and 75 to 25 by just switching from one dose to the next and then waiting about a month before taking the next step down. I had no discontinuation symptoms whatsoever during this stage. For the jump from 25 to 0 by doctor gave me a somewhat convoluted schedule where she wants me to take it every other day for two weeks then every three days for a week and then for some reason wait two days and then take one last pill. \n\nI\u2019ve done quite a bit of research online and spoken to people I know who have tapered off of SSRIs and I haven\u2019t seen any evidence for a tapering schedule like this. It feels to me like I\u2019m just messing my brain up by taking the medicine away and reintroducing it and then taking it away again over and over again. A week in and I\u2019m starting to have discontinuation symptoms- dizziness, brain zaps, and headaches. \n\nAnyways, my question is does anyone know if there is actually reason behind tapering this way? Is there proper research and evidence for this? Should I get a second opinion?", "post_id": "bl4w43"}, {"question": "A quick search shows that what you bought is probably a combination of diphenhydramine \\(Benadryl\\) and phenylephrine. Both are safe to combine with Tylenol and/or Advil.\n\nWithout seeing the bottle I don't know exactly what you have or what a normal dose would be. The recommended adult dose of phenylephrine is 10 mg, with the caveat that recent research \\(and that's going back decades\\) is not terribly encouraging on its use as a decongestant, and its infamous among medical students as the classic example of tachyphylaxis\u2014if you take it for more than a few days it stops working entirely.\n\nBenadryl is usually taken at 25\\-50 mg. It's a fine antihistamine, which means it'll help with allergic stuffiness or runny nose, but it does little to nothing for a cold.\n\nNeither of these medications, alone or in combination, will help a sore throat that isn't because of nasal congestion and post\\-nasal drip. For that you'll probably do better with standard pain killers.\n\nIf you have cluster headaches, have you gotten the standard headache treatments? 100% oxygen or a triptan like sumatriptan?", "comment": "24, Male, 5'8\", 182, White, 2 days after the sore throat (4 days in total), throat & head (left temple), \"diagnosed\" w/ Cluster Headaches (left temple), taken 2 Ex Strength Tylenol tablets.\n\nHaving a super bad cough (had some bad strep throat (hard to sallow) for the last two days but it's gone) and my cluster headache is acting up (as usual during the night.)\n\nMy question is, as an adult, what dosage do I need for Children's Triacting Night Time Cold & Cough (cause I bought the wrong formula Ig) as I'm sure taking the kids amount won't be all that helpful.\n\nAlso, will it affect or be affected by Advil or Tylenol? Advil works the best but can cause some pretty bad shit. Tried Tylenol last night and it didn't make it go away entirely.", "post_id": "8il5dn"}, {"question": "Hey, just wanted to drop a note and say come check out r/leaves if you haven't already.", "comment": "I've been trying to get sober for 3 years. Longest sober time is 62 days. I've just realized my cycle is to smoke marijuana until it's gone, then get some vodka to smooth over the lack of marijuana, and sometimes that ends very badly (i.e. full blown active addiction for weeks or months). Specifically I smoke wax and it's so convenient because I can \"vape\" it anywhere and feel more normal (I also have borderline personality disorder, along with cognitive dysfunction). Anyways, my sudden realization that I must give up marijuana is striking me as a revelation and a tragic loss at the same time. I might have to go back to therapy (most likely will). I'm sick of substances, how reliant I am on them. But I feel like I'll go legit insane if I give up marijuana. I'm writing this to see if anyone else has had this revelation and how it worked out for you. BPD always looking for connections too ha. I'm grateful for finding this reddit site, I had never thought to look here for support! Have a good, sober day everyone.", "post_id": "5f6cq1"}, {"question": "A high resting heart rate doesn\u2019t mean you should avoid exercise. Go ahead.", "comment": "I'm a 31 year old caucasian female. (Height 5ft9, weight around 9 1/2 stone). I'm currently going through a breakup and have also just moved to a new city, and am dealing with depression and anxiety. \nFor the last month my heart rate has been higher than it should be (around 100). I've been to the doctor, they did an ECG and blood tests, which came back fine, so it's most likely just down to the anxiety. \n\nI'd like to start doing some exercising to help boost my mood, but I'm worried about doing so when my heart rate is already high. I'm also not managing to eat very much at the moment.\n\nI've started 50mg of sertraline as of one week ago. \n\nIs it safe for me to do some sort of exercise currently?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "cjcffj"}, {"question": "Um. Maybe try something physical that puts you in a \"flow\" state where you're really really focused on being in the moment? Something like yoga or dancing or martial arts.", "comment": "I require constant intellectual stimulation. Even if I'm drunk at a party or a bar, I'll still attempt to impose something intellectual onto the situation. I'll watch the crowds and analyze the social dynamics, I'll study the moves of the good dancers, I'll pair off with the other wallflowers and talk about science and philosophy.\n\nApparently, I don't know how to just chill out and have a good time, and as a result, I'm kind of boring and dry, which of course doesn't get me invited out. At all.\n\nThis sucks. I'm kind of tired of being an observer, I want to be a participant every once in a while too. I want to be able to cut loose and have some \"so I was drinking with friends\" stories that don't involve me making a complete and utter fool out of myself, like the ones that I do have. And for what It's worth, I think the events in those stories have kind of scared me off from relaxing while drinking, at least while in company. I did some insanely stupid things, and now I'm  *very* observant about how much I drink, who I'm drinking with, where I'm drinking, and in order to keep from going full retard again, I try to keep myself functioning on a higher level.\n\nIt's not just in party situations though. It's all the time. Basically, I can't relax intellectually. I'm always analyzing, dissecting, and rationalizing, and I want to stop.\n\nSo how do I do that?", "post_id": "xdooo"}, {"question": "This hurts for me to read because I know it happens so much and I also know why. I'm in my last year of clin psych masters and on placement I see this all the time. \n\nBasically, the neuropsych tests are made based on the average population. The problem you have with that is if you are above average intelligence, because the tests are somewhat based on intelligence, you can do better and in turn come back as \"borderline\". Also, with the symptom checklist, they don't always take into account self report reliability whereby you may not remember much of your childhood (due to ADHD) or you may downplay things (due to genetics meaning parents say it's normal). When administering these tests, it's really important for clinicians to do them in line with a qualitative interview. So asking questions like \"you score high on this, this is what that means, does it fit with you? Why or why not?\" Being a student means unless you have specific personal or extensive professional experience on a subject it's hard to know what is needed for every assessment.\n\nSo, the solution? Unfortunately we have to be advocates for ourselves. This means backing ourselves when something doesn't seem right. This is so hard though! Even with my knowledge, I'm currently trying to switch from ritalin to dexamphetamine and my psychiatrist is being annoying with it. I know I need to go in and say \"hey I have these reasons to do this thing and I know you may not agree but what we are doing is not working for these reasons I've said so we need to switch.\" It's hard. I'm so sorry you went through it.", "comment": "More-or less diagnosed adhd-pi about 3 years ago now by my former psychiatrist. Had began seeing him 2015 for anxiety and depression, ssri helped but not that much. Unfortunately he also threw me on Klonopin which hurt more in the long run but that\u2019s later on... Year later he comes to realization that all my medicinal weed smoking was possibly dopaminergic and he couldn\u2019t believe he didn\u2019t realize before how obvious the adhd symptoms were. Difference was night and day, began to read up on executive functioning and where I definitely had deficits. Went through the stimulant trial and error game (tried vyvanse first and then eventually settled on Dexedrine). Meanwhile I was working on a freelance drone photography business that ultimately had some success and I continued to explore a fairly new industry...\n\nHe leaves the state in 2018, leaving me with the task of finding another p-doc. I started having some more intense anxiety/depression recurring even though it was helped by the stimulants. (In hindsight it was the Klonopin dependence syndrome that develops causing weird anxiety/cognitive issues)\n\nI settle for a local university hospital psych program and they throw me in with a girl practically my age a couple years out of med school. She orders a neuropsych test to see if I \u2018actually\u2019 have adhd. Based off a hunch of hers she thinks my previous psychiatrist was full of s*it and I did well in school without the stimulants so I must not have adhd (I was a master procrastinator, not super uncommon in adhd circles I understand)...neuropsych test comes back as unable to fully \u2018diagnose\u2019 because I didn\u2019t really have too many symptoms as a kid (even tho I mentioned I was an avid day dreamer). Instead they suspect it\u2019s high iq- high functioning ASD...\n\nSo this new psych tells me to wean off the stims and the klonopin at my own rate despite my objection that of all meds, dexedrine actually helps way more than hurts. She continues to think it\u2019s causing more anxiety than I realize (where if anything it was helping more than klonopin) and restates it\u2019s the departments policy that without an \u2018adhd diagnosis\u2019 she wasn\u2019t able to prescribe. \n\nMe not knowing much about the withdrawal speeds through it over the span of a couple weeks. I am thrown into some of the worst dysphoria I\u2019d ever experienced. I relay my issues and she is convinced I shouldn\u2019t be experiencing these issues for more than a few weeks. Months start to go by and my issues are only getting worse. My executive functioning all but disappears, to the point where I couldn\u2019t even articulate it well enough to the psych at the time. Social withdrawal, to the point where I couldn\u2019t leave the house, answer the phone or reply to texts and emails. The klonopin withdrawal was more than certainly causing all sorts of hell for months at a time but after about 3 months I was super confused about whether it was klonopin withdrawal, dexedrine withdrawal, or in general my baseline without stims. Intermittently I had tried the Dex after a few months of abstinence and my adhd symptoms would relieve. I\u2019d relay this and she would consistently give me the vibe I was just looking for drugs. This repeated a few more times over the next 6 months- I would wait it out in torment, with my business decaying and too anxious to answer the phone, emails or texts- in a way it was like I was straight removed from my high functioning self and thrown into extreme executive disregulation- worse than I had ever been even before medication.\n\nIt\u2019s been 9 months and fortunately I\u2019ve still had a supply of Dex XR left over that I had been sitting on. I\u2019ve been on for about a week and things are finally reconsolidating mentally, and quality of life is totally improving. I can\u2019t help but blame that psych for the failure of my business now... I finally mustered up the will to apply for jobs and more importantly scheduled a new private practice p-doc appt on Tuesday.  I really regret going there in the first place honestly I just wanted to ramble a little and let you guys know that sometimes these \u2018by the book\u2019 departments of psychiatry will dismiss your pleas for meds that actually do the job...and can trash your life....tread carefully my friends.\n\nTL:DR \nDon\u2019t drop off meds too quickly or you may end up in a world of hurt. In my case my world pretty rapidly fell to pieces. Also go with your gut regarding meds that work, psychiatrists opinions seem to vary wildly based on presenting symptoms.", "post_id": "c46pxn"}, {"question": "1. Does she mean psychologist, specifically, or any type of psychotherapist? I know people who have had really bad experiences with some specific credential, but are more open to seeing someone with different, but still relevant credentials. E.g. \"I will NOT ever go see a psychologist because I HATE psychologists... but I might be okay with seeing a social worker.\" (And then you could find a licensed clinical social worker with experience with OCD and just not emphasize that this person is a psychotherapist.)\n2. I know this is going to be a really shitty answer, but if someone does not want treatment, you can't make them ready to get it.", "comment": "https://amp.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/azwevy/my_wife_30f_suffers_from_extreme_germophobia_and/\n\nThis post I found is very similar to her situation.", "post_id": "gqgodb"}, {"question": "If you're willing to go into greater detail about your difficulties, pop over to r/askdocs and a shink like me might be able to give you an opinion on it...", "comment": "Hello fellow redditors.  \n\nI've had a rocky life, leading to an early adulthood full of mental problems and trauma.  Recently, I've work hard and pulled through most of it, but there's a conclusion that I have come to , and I need your help.  \n\n\nI am concerned that I have ADHD, or some form of Autism; my parents were not wise and did not get me any mental health checkups during childhood, and treated for different-ness with belts and switches.  I do know that I most likely have ODD (even though adults *don't* have odd, according to *professionals*) b/c I display several of the ODD symptoms.  \n\n\nI've managed to reel myself in to keep my current relationship steady, and I'm doing generally well with my friends, but this situation is rearing its ugly head at work.  \n\n\nBasically, as a 26 year old graduate, I don't feel that I need to have direct supervision, and I shouldn't be told what to do with my cell phone and earbuds at my desk, especially when my work gets done, regardless.  This along with ridiculous micromanagement and policy changes is causing me to want to drive my car through the manager's desk.  \n\n\nSo, what do I do to handle this?  My psychiatrist says there's a test for Autism/adhd but it's a little over 100 dollars, and I feel...that there shouldn't be a paywall for this sort of thing.  I mean, much of our American population is disabled in this way, and I feel we should easily be able to get help.  \n\n\nThanks for taking the time to read this and comment!  ", "post_id": "6hfpp8"}, {"question": "Did they ask you for coffee?  Prolly want coffee. Drinks? Prolly drinks. Go to a show? Prolly want to hear some music.  All of them are probably interested in getting physically intimate with you. \n\nWhat do you want, beyond feeling safe?\n\nDo you like any of these guys enough to want to see if you could hit it off?", "comment": "So there are several guys that seem to be interested in me and they all asked me out. I don't know what to do, I always thought that I'm just an ugly shy girl that cant fit in anywhere and I am soo overwhehlmed by that situation, I'm starting to get really bad anxiety. I don't know what they want from and I don't want to be left heartbroken. Did that happen to anyone? I feel so scared its almost depressing", "post_id": "6butwe"}, {"question": "Hi! I had Mirena inserted almost three years ago. I was not n\\* at all! It did hurt, though, and I was sore for the rest of the day, so I recommend taking some pain medication before hand and if you are able, take it easy for the rest of the day!", "comment": "I haven\u2019t posted here in a while, which I guess is a good thing, but I think I\u2019m getting an IUD this week. I have POTS syndrome, which makes my periods 10x worse with lots of n* and missing work/school. I am very very very worried I will v* during or after the insertion, and reading stories on reddit isn\u2019t helping. Any one here have any experience or advice? \nThanks, KG \u2764\ufe0f\n\nUPDATE: I got it!! I took 8mg of zofran and 1000mg of tylenol beforehand, and I felt like a sharp period cramp during the sounding, but that was it!! I feel SO ACCOMPLISHED!!!", "post_id": "drrz0m"}, {"question": "it's gonna hurt. no way around it.  if he's mad for you, then spending time with you as a bf will be VERY painful.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years. He is my best friend. One (and only for that matter) that I feel completely comfortable with being my true self in front of. In the past year, I have had many doubts about our future together. A few months ago, I did end the relationship, and felt relieved afterward. A couple days after the breakup, I started missing him miserably. After a month of being apart, we decided to get back together. Now I am thinking it was the friendship I missed, not the relationship. When we first got back together, I decided to try harder in the relationship to make things work. At first, I was happier than before, but still not as happy as I wanted to be. Eventually, the relationship seemed to have gone back to when we broke up. I was annoyed by his presence. I thought I should end it once and for all, but then I thought again it was me trying to give up too easily and that this was just a bump in the road. Once again, I've tried making the relationship work for me. It is at a point now that I love hanging out with him, but when he says anything romantic or talks about the future, I feel guilty and sad. I see that he is trying and really wants to make the relationship work, and that tears me apart because I cannot reciprocate those feelings. I know that he loves me and he seems happy in the relationship, and that makes it so much harder. I have also become very close to his family, and I hate the thought of having to break up with them too. I guess I would like to know how I should end it without completely tearing him apart and how to possibly stay friends with him. I know that I would be happier if I ended it and endured the heartbreak, but the thought of losing my only best friend terrifies me. ", "post_id": "5on205"}, {"question": "A fear of the dark is something that almost every child has at some point.  It's really pre-programmed into our biology through evolution for the sake of survival as we had to be extra careful of the nocturnal predators that existed.  \n\nI'd say the best thing you can do is work on your general stress levels.  It's not very uncommon for people experiencing very very high levels of stress to get really minor/subtle visual or auditory hallucinations.  Think, seeing something out of your peripheral vision, or hearing things like footsteps or your name being called when it isn't actually there.  \n\nGetting your general stress levels in check should help out a bunch.  Talk to your therapist to see if maybe you can identify any possible cause of why these fears came back and address that.  \n\nHope this helps!  Best of luck.\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/mental-health-diagnosis-what-you-need-to-know/)", "comment": "I was scared of the dark when i was a child, but in my teenage years and adult life i would always go camping and hiking at night without experiencing any distress. Since mid summer, I've become afraid of the dark again and going outside at night or being in a dark place causes me to have a panic attack and i sometimes have hallucinations of shadowy figures in the darkness. Right now, i cant sleep without some kind of light on.\n\nDoes anyone have any suggestions for how i could approach this beyond therapy (i haven't seen mine all summer but will on Wednesday)? I love camping and want to go without feeling extremely anxious. ", "post_id": "6wjsf2"}, {"question": "I asked my endocrinologist (she specializes in PCOS and is known as one of the top researchers in PCOS) about the ketogenic diet and she said that she wouldn't recommend it for PCOS patients. \n\nHave any of your endocrinologists suggested this diet to you, fellow PCOSers?? How do your docs respond when you tell them about keto? I'm curious as to what other doctors say. ", "comment": "It seems to me that Keto is not mentioned enough on this subreddit for some reason.  I received a reminder this past month that Keto is pretty much a miracle for me and I will probably be on this diet for life. \n\n I used to take metformin three times a day.  I couldn't have drinks with friends without experiencing a debilitating hangover the next day.  I pooped liquid almost every day.  I felt...off.  I started the Keto diet, determined to get off the pills.  \nWell, it worked. \nI lost 16 pounds and started feeling great.  I stopped taking the pills.  Things were going swimmingly.  \nThen I fell off the wagon. \nCarnival food and bread and pasta and beans..I wanted it all.  I started wondering why I felt like crap.  I wondered why my belly was growing again.  I wondered why I had mood swings.  I wondered why I was letting myself eat that poison that caused myself extreme pain.  \nToday is the first full week of being 100% dedicated to the Keto diet and I've already lost three pounds.  This is all pretty much water weight but soon I'll be burning off real fat as long as I remain dedicated.  I'm already experiencing benefits like a flat tummy and no bloating.  \n\nWhen women here ask for help with their medication, weight loss, infertility, or anything else relating to PCOS, it really breaks my heart.  Just stop eating sugar aka CARBS.  I know that simplifies things A LOT and I'm not trying to portray the Keto diet as something simple...but in a way it is.  We can fix this disorder by simply restricting our net carb intake to about 20g a day.  No pills and no awful side effects.  \n\nCheck out /r/xxketo and /r/Keto for recipes and progress pics.  \n\nI also know I might get a lot of hate posting this but if just one person decides to start Keto because of my post, it will be worth it.\n\nKeep calm and Keto on.", "post_id": "3kq6e3"}, {"question": "That is amazing. Congrats!!", "comment": "One year ago I completed a health screening at my new job. All of my numbers were elevated, it was so depressing. My triglycerides were well above 300, more then double what they should be. I was 2 lbs away from 200 lbs. I can't say that it was an immediate wake up call, I wish I had started that day but about 3 months ago I decided I was done letting my PCOS run my life. I was sick of feeling tired and grumpy. I started to run the couch to 5k, cutting carbs/sugars and taking my metformin and daily vitamins. ( I take a multi, b12, magnesium, garlic, 1000 mg of Vitamin C). Well yesterday it was time to do another screening.....and I'm so proud of the progress. I knew I was feeling better but these numbers are proof that my hard work is paying off. It definitely brought to light areas that I need to focus on like bringing up my good cholesterol with more fish and good fats as well as bringing down my BMI. That will come with time though. For now I'm celebrating the changes I have made! \n\n*2014*\n198 lbs\nTriglycerides 300+\nBMI- was over 35% \nMy blood sugar was over 200 non fasting \nMy bad cholesterol was too high and the good too low. \n\n*2015*\n175 lbs \nCholesterol-166\n(HDL-41, LDL-95)\nTriglycerides-147\nGlucose-83mg (non-fasting)\nMy BMI is at 31.5%", "post_id": "3tgcl6"}, {"question": "I've supervised plenty of therapists with strong personalities who either didn't like authority much, didn't like having someone with my demographics as a boss, and a combination of both.\n\nI had to learn very quickly that the qualities and skills that make me a good therapist are not necessarily ones that will make me a good boss.  \n\nSome important lessons I learned/techniques I apply now having made many mistakes as a supervisor in the past:\n\n1.  Remind yourself often that although you may be a friendly person you are not your supervisees friend.  You do not need their approval.  You need their respect and need them to do their job.  \n\n2.  Praise the employees that are doing well publically and often while talking to problematic employees in private (specifically mandatory meetings you set up with them.)\n\n3.  Before making a decision regarding policy/procedure changes, strategy to complete a project, etc.  listen to everyone, take  their opinions into consideration.  Once you make your decision, the path is no longer up for debate.  You can straight up say this in whatever language you feel comfortable.  Just be sure that you are assertive with it.  If a supervisee questions your authority publically, either call them into your office or say something like \"That's not up for discussion now.  You and I can talk about that later.\" \n\n4.  When you call a supervisee to meet with them about issues you are having with them, document it.  This is probably the most important take away I learned in my first few years of supervising.  Be very clear, concrete, and specific about what the employee said or did (or multiple things if applicable along with the corresponding dates) and if possible, how it either goes against a specific company policy or specific part of their job description.  Write on the document what areas you need to see specific concrete improvement by and a deadline for follow up.  Have him sign it.  If he refuses, schedule a meeting with your supervisor to discuss a plan of action.\n\nThis is what has worked for me.  It's not going to work for everyone in every situation but I think it may be helpful to you.  With a guy like this, you need to be the leader, or before long, your other co-workers will lose respect for you or this guy is going to end up being your boss.  \n\nBest of luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)\n\n", "comment": "Dear Reddit\n\nSo I got a new co worker who is really agitating and I'm not sure how to go about working with him. I am the boss for the team that I manage and this guy acts/talks like he is the boss and steals credit whenever possible and a bunch of other things that annoy me. He is really getting on my last nerve but I'm making this post to try and get some help on how to make this situation better. Here's the examples of what this co worker is like\n\n \n***\n**He Tries To Control Other Co Workers By Telling Others What To Do**\n\n* Me: Today I am going to have you work on this and I'm going to have so and so do this.\n* Him: Well I'm going to do this while I have them do this.\n* Problem: Instead of simply saying \"ok\" and agreeing to my instructions, why is he telling me, the boss, what he is going to do instead of listening to what I tell him to do? Then, why does he tell me what he is going to make other people do when I'm the one that makes that decision?\n\n \n***\n**He Claims My Ideas To Try And Tell Me What To Do**\n\n* Me: This is the way that I want this project done\n* Him: Why not just do it my way\"Repeats exactly the same exact thing in the same exact way of what I just told him to do\"\n* Me: Yeah that's right just do it like that \"I restate the exact thing that I told him originally, to which he re suggested my own original plan as his\"\n* Him: Yeah that's what I just told you to do!\n* Problem: He takes my instructions/ideas/plans and claim them as his by saying \"That's what I just said!\" to everything I tell him to do. It's as if he takes my instructions from my own words and says them back to me just so he can say that he told me to do somthing\n\n \n***\n**He Undermines Anyone's Else's Idea That Isn't Done His Way**\n\n* Him: Why are we doing this task this way?\n* Me: We are doing it this way because it's the best way to do it because 1.___ 2.___ 3___\n* Him: Well I think it's better to do what I said \"Doesn't list any benefits to doing things his way, doesn't even explain any of his steps to do the task in his way that he believes is better\"\n* Me: The best way to do this is by \"Restate my original explanation with even more explanation\"\n* Him: No you need to listen to what I'm telling you \"Repeats his same nonsenseful, unexplained way with no reasons behined it\"\n* Me: I am listening to you, and yes, you can do it that way but it's better to do it this way because of the reasons that I already just have explained to you. Your way is harder and takes longer because of 1.___ 2.___ 3.___ compared to doing 1.___ 2.___ 3.___\n* Him: That's stupid, I'm just going to do it my way.\n* Problem: He thinks his ways are better simply because it's what he said to do. \n\n\n\n \n***\n**He Intentionally Does't Tell Other People About Work That Needs Done So He Can Do It Himself And Make Himself Look Better And So He Can Call Other Co Workers Lazy**\n\n* Me - Hey go take so and so and get this task done\n* Him - Ok\n* Me - Did you guys get that task done?\n* Him - Yeah I did everything\n* Me - You did everything? Why didn't so and so help you?\n* Him - I guess they didn't want to help, they're lazy.\n* Me - Did you even ask the other people for help like I said to?\n* Him - No I just did it myself because I'm better than them and didn't feel like dealing with them being lazy\n* Problem - Now my other co workers are getting in trouble for not helping when this guy is intentionally doing things by himself, making him look good and others look bad.\n\n \n***\n**He Interrupts Conversations And Cuts People Off From Speaking**\n\n* Not much to say, or maybe I should say not much room to speak when he's around. He is always jumping into other people's conversation's just to keep the attention on him and not let the other person speak which just results in upsetting the other person and them walking away.", "post_id": "8cxmcu"}, {"question": "I keep my white chip in my left sock and my current chip in my right sock. The other 4 are in my car.", "comment": "As I've been going to meetings, I've collected 3 chips so far (my 24-hour, 1 month, and 2 month - hurrah!). I was wondering what people do with them? I bought a keychain that holds a chip to put my 24 hour chip on, but what do people do with them as they collect them?", "post_id": "1ifa14"}, {"question": "What is a white chip wonder?", "comment": "I'm saying to claim yourself as one, is there an unwritten rule? I can't imagine people are well received with a few months clean claiming they are a white chip wonder. Just a weird question that popped in my mind. ", "post_id": "6m8fxi"}, {"question": "That is very interesting and thanks for sharing. Hyperfocus can seem like that but it also depends on how it is applied and channeled. it sounds like he is saying that you can only hyperfocus on something when you should be doing something else. I do not find that to always be the case. For example, when I am working on a paper and become hyperfocused I can work on that for hours. But...thanks for the encouragement and motivating words Dr. Barkley! ", "comment": "I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Barkley's lectures\nhttps://youtu.be/Li_tcua0AJI?t=1338\n\n_There is also another popular phrase in the adults with ADHD trade books: \"Adults with ADHD are good at hyperfocusing.\" This too is mythology. Hyperfocusing is actually perseveration. You are unable to interrupt what you are doing when you should have shifted to doing something else. It is like the child who continues to play the video game long after they should have been getting dressed for school. You want to call that hyperfocusing that's fine, but it's a classic sign of a frontal lobe injury <inaudible> you should have stopped what you're doing, and you didn't. There are other more important goals to achieve and you ignored them. This is no gift. It is in fact a symptom of this disorder\"_\n\n\n\n\nWhatever you call it, this injury/gift has been responsible for every single achievement in my life!", "post_id": "629dxn"}, {"question": "Reading about the holocaust was probably my worst one...\n\nI'm stuck in between addictions atm. Trying to find a new one. Chernobyl was my most recent.", "comment": "Hey guys and girls, just wanted to share with you a struggle that I\u2019ve wondered about for a while and haven\u2019t got to posting until now. \nI find that when I pick up a new activity, be it rock climbing, a new game, a new way of making food, and especially anything media related, I will focus solely on that thing and that thing alone for days at a time. It\u2019s like a mini addiction that spans a week, and then it\u2019s into the next one, that\u2019s how I can explain it best. Does anyone else have this problem? It just feels like I hyperfocus on these things and can\u2019t stop to do important things like eating properly, doing chores, or make it to social events and it\u2019s frustrating to know it\u2019s happening but in the moment \u201cIt\u2019s fine\u201d and I don\u2019t care", "post_id": "g7nnec"}, {"question": "Thw best thing you can do is ask the therapist about limits of confidentiality. \n\nExactly what can be shared varies by country,  state/region and by agency.  A school counselor on reddit recently posted that he was required by his employer to report students who used substances on campus.  This is very unusual,  but part of his agency rules .\n\nIn general , confidentiality is only broken if someone is being actively abused or in danger of hurting themselves or others .", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "gg9r6r"}, {"question": "Why do you wash his clothes and do his dishes?  Is he 8 years old?", "comment": "Hello!! Sorry guys. this is gonna be kinda long but if you could spare me just a moment and give me your opinion on the situation at hand that would be so wonderful!!\n\n\n So I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now and things have been pretty sweet. Our relationship has been stellar tbh. I'm 20 and he is 22. But just recently I had noticed in the past couple of weeks that my SO had been receiving messages from of his exes (we share my laptop just to clear the air) and I really didn't pay any mind to it or anything because I trust my SO, and I just didn't think any thing of it. But my SO would leave his FaceBook account logged in and open. And ya know I would log into my laptop here and there and one evening I saw mutiple message notifications from the same ex and I did something fucked up and I snooped, I'll admit I invaded his privacy but I wanted to see what was up, curiosity got the best of me here. When I saw what was said I felt heartbroken. He was talking about a small argument we had gotten into and sending her screenshots of the whole ordeal and putting me on blast, meanwhile she was calling me a psycho, crazy, and mentioning that it didn't seem like we had a healthy relationship. He was just letting her rip at me without defending me. And what makes me crack up here folks, what really gets me, is that this ol girl cheated on my SO in high school. And there were more flirty type messages but I think that's maybe all the details I should give out about the situation lol. \n\nAnyways when I saw the messages I freaked tf out and I immediately confronted my SO, at first I questioned his ass about his ex and the conversations and he lied to me, so I plopped the laptop down in front of him and showed him the messages I had found, and he had such a major meltdown he started crying and was begging me to stay with him, he immediately messaged her and told her that he couldn't message her anymore and that I was too important to loose yadadamean, and went on to block her. \n\nNow I'm sitting here a couple days later trying to figure out what the fuck to do. I know he loves me and I do love him. But shit, you guys he lied to my face about this situation and was talking mad shit over practically nothing. Meanwhile I'm busting my ass cleaning his clothes, washing his dishes, giving him rides, you name it. I just feel so betrayed I would never speak about him in that manner to anyone, ya know? Now our relationship is hanging from its hinges. He wants to cuddle and get intimate with me and I just push him away. I feel like I can no longer trust him. And now he's frustrated and just wants me to move on and be happy with him but like how can that just happen? My emotions and feelings aren't a button a TV remote that you can just push to change. I want to forget about what has happened but every moment I'm with him the conversations haunt and mock me. We've already had many conversations about it, but it seems like nothing is helping. I feel like if I wouldn't had caught him he wouldn't had been sorry. What do you think? Any input would be so dearly appreciated!!", "post_id": "6a4wrz"}, {"question": "Not sure if this applies to you or not.  One problem I see with lots of folks struggling with this is that their goal is to have \"close friends\" but generally don't like associating with more surface level acquaintances and having all of the superficial conversations and what not that go along with that.  \n\nUnfortunately for these folks, good, healthy, organic relationships do not happen immediately.  They generally grow from what starts out as more simple and superficial relationships with acquaintances.  Finding shared interests and each party making a continuous effort to spend time together doing what they mutually enjoy and eventually the two may become close friends.  The only way to get this though is to put the effort in inviting acquaintances to things and making time to go to things they invite you to.       ", "comment": "I have a close friend but it always seems she\u2019s trying to help me. I have other acquaintances that I don\u2019t hang out with often. I have a new job and my co-workers are awesome but we haven\u2019t hung out yet. I just want some friends to hang out with, do nothing with, and not judge each other. Do these types of pure friendships even exits? I\u2019ve never been good at close friends in my 28 years. I\u2019m everyone\u2019s first friend but never the best friend. Maybe it\u2019s just not for me. I\u2019m not sure why I\u2019m even craving social interaction lately - usual I\u2019m fine to be my keep to myself quiet person. ", "post_id": "8ekh9j"}, {"question": "I have patients who eat glass deliberately. I've never experienced that ending bad. Usually I don't send them to the hospital, unless they are in pain.", "comment": "I made myself some lemonade, and while preparing it I touched my glass with another glass and didn't think much of it. After I drank it (30min ago) I found sharp piece about 10mm \\* 10mm \\* 1mm in the bottom of the glass. I compared it to damaged part of the glass and found out I luckily drank just a small piece of it. Probably 3-5 pieces of circa 2mm \\* 2mm \\* 0.1mm. Images [https://imgur.com/gallery/l81M6e2](https://imgur.com/gallery/l81M6e2), [https://imgur.com/gallery/NHv4vUB](https://imgur.com/gallery/NHv4vUB)\n\nI feel OK, I am also a little bit scared, should I go see a doctor? Or I will be alright. I think i will be alright I just need critical opinion.\n\nI'm 25y old male, 185cm, 95kg, not smoker, otherwise healthy I guess.\n\nEdit: I called emergency and they told me to drink a lot of water and come if anything hurt me. Otherwise everything will probably be alright. They didn't even want me to send pic because they couldn't do anything about it.\n\nEdit 2: It's been about 10 hours and I am fine. Thank you for advice and thank you for helping people in need.", "post_id": "dafa8t"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sorry for your losses and sending hugs back at you! Here\u2019s hoping we both create some new sober holiday traditions this year. IWNDWYT", "comment": "I feel  sad this weekend (which normally drive me to drink).  Today we are having a turkey with my two boys which would normally have been my husbands parents who I adored and sister however his parents are no longer with us and his sister is Coming Wed. Since she is away.  My sister is in the Caribbean so we won't see her this year and my dad's situation is beyond rediculous.  We don't even see him at Christmas. Anyways just wanted to put it out there that not of us all have functional families around us for Thanksgiving and send out hugs to those of you who need it today.", "post_id": "dhc5hq"}, {"question": "I also have normal glucose and am on metformin. ", "comment": "Hi all, \n\nDoes anyone else have \"normal\" glucose tests and still take metformin? My glucose has always been normal, though I'm sure I have at least some level of insulin resistance by nature of having PCOS. It's nearly impossible for me to lose weight lately, and my gyn recommended metformin to hopefully help with that. I know bad GI side effects are likely, so I just wanted to get some others' opinions and experiences before just diving into yet another med! Thanks :)", "post_id": "4ctbws"}, {"question": "Check out The Happiness Trap", "comment": "Hi, I suffer from avoidant personality disorder (and borderline and dependent with narcissistic traits). I would like to know if there is a good self help book to overcome my avoidant personality disorder, or, alternatively, a book that teaches me how to be spontaneous, enjoy the company of people and have a playful attitude towards life. I have read many books about psychoanalysis but all this knowledge did not seem to help much, so now i would like to switch to some focused self-help materials. Any suggestions?", "post_id": "vhqiq"}, {"question": "you have to decide if this is a non-negotiable--a deal breaker.   very sad quandary", "comment": "She has said she will never be able to give children to me, her choice, that's fine, it's not medical, she just hates the idea of having a child because she won't be able to do whatever she wants. She's even planning on getting a hysterectomy at 30. All things she revealed for the first time tonight after 5 years of friendship and a year of marriage. She's known I've always wanted one or two. She just sprung this on me. I love her to death, I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed and hurt but she's my wife, I will always love her.", "post_id": "5qn8mw"}, {"question": "In the 12 and 12 it recommends doing the 5th step piecemeal if you can\u2019t trust anyone with all of it. That\u2019s what I did. I told some stuff to my sponsor and some to a catholic priest. It worked for me, I\u2019m sober 41 years.", "comment": "I\u2019m Matt and I\u2019m an alcoholic. There are things I\u2019ve carried with me for a very long time. I swore to my self I would take to my grave. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m ready. I\u2019m not even on the forth step. I keep starting over at step 3. I haven\u2019t gone back out. But I\u2019m stuck. I\u2019d rather just go ahead and die than put this shit on paper and tell another person. I think I\u2019m ready for that. I can\u2019t share this in a meeting with other people or my sponsor. So y\u2019all get it, I apologize. That\u2019s all I got right now. Thanks for letting me share.\n\nEdit: I have been on the phone with my sponsor and a couple other people. One of them is not in the rooms and is still out there. But us talking helped them and it helped me also. Everything is going to be ok. I have prayed and my understanding of God is letting me know that with God in my life these times will be much more brief than before. I\u2019m not throwing my life away or the 311 days I have in away because I got problems. Everyone has been a tremendous help. I was all up in my feels which is a very dangerous place for me. I have no idea how to deal with this sober. But I\u2019m going to learn. Thank you everyone for your love and support. I hope this has helped you stay sober also. I hope this makes sense I\u2019m sounding like the new guy in the meetings who had no idea how to talk. I guess I can still be a new guy with a couple days under my belt", "post_id": "gf6pps"}, {"question": "I would explore the feelings of why you took it away deeper.  Then I would sit down with her and explain it and talk it out.  If it works out, even better. ", "comment": "I need help... I was with my girlfriend of over 1 year and she asked for my phone to look at a picture. After she looked at my picture, she started scrolling through the phone and I quickly grabbed the phone away from her without thinking. Her face immediately dropped and she asked me what is on my phone. She asked for phone back and I kept taking it immediately 3 more times like a jerk. To be clear, there is nothing detrimental to my relationship on my phone. There are no pictures of other women or texts with anyone that she does not know. There are no secrets. I was nervous because nobody has ever looked through my phone before and I instinctively grabbed it. I tried having her look at the phone a few minutes later when she clearly can see I did not access it but she would not do so. Today she is still upset and won't see me. What should I do? I don't want to lose my relationship because of this.", "post_id": "48nkqx"}, {"question": "I'm a little late to your thread here OP, but feel free to PM me whenever you'd like to chat. :)", "comment": "Thank you.", "post_id": "2ec631"}, {"question": "A psychologist (and some psychiatrists and some pediatricians) can do a full assessment with testing for ADHD diagnostics. Prescribers (psychiatrists, nurse practioners, other physicians) can prescribe.", "comment": "Would they also be able to diagnose other things like a learning disability or give me an aptitude test?", "post_id": "gjuez2"}, {"question": "I recommend you go to that meeting. Even if they only have a maintaining group and not a newcomers group tonight you can still go. Just walk right in and pick a seat.", "comment": "Just not sure what to expect. Also, I noticed that they have meetings specifically for newcomers. Do I have to go one of those? The meeting in my area tonight is labeled \"maintaining group.\" Just not sure what that is... do I just walk in?\n\nI'm 10 days sober but last night was the hardest. I haven't slept. I've been distracting myself past 2 A.M. so even if I want a drink I can't get one, but then since I'm so goddamn sober now, I can't fall asleep after that. But now it's morning and stores are opening and I have $20 sitting on the counter with my I.D. ready to go. I've been pacing all night. I'm really worried I might cave. Wouldn't be the first time. I'm doing my best though. 10 days is pretty awesome for me.\n\nBut I know I need help. Any advice?\n\n\nEdit: Thanks so much to the few people who have commented already. I've been on the fence about AA for so long, just never had a single person truly support the idea of me going. It's nice to hear kind words and support. It's extremely calming to hear your experiences as well. My biggest hurdle is my fear.\n\nEdit: So I just arranged a babysitter for the night so I can go. I'm pretty committed to doing this now. Honestly, I can't thank you guys enough. I know it's just a few shared experiences, but you've made me feel so much better about this. This is the first time I've ever been truly hopeful about quitting.", "post_id": "1s315g"}, {"question": "cold turkey is best, but your situation prevents it. try to avoid as much as possible. you're doing all the right things.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "68nm5v"}, {"question": "Kills neurons. Cumulative. Damage persists.", "comment": "So I drink a lot. Been drinking nearly every day since I was 17. I\u2019m 25 now. The thing is, I\u2019m motivated by such a strong fear of failure that I\u2019ll probably never reach a bottom point where I\u2019m forced to confront my drinking. I\u2019m fairly successful for someone my age and have healthy habits apart from my drinking.\n\nThe only thing that concerns me is a fear that it\u2019ll result in some psychological damage over time. I wonder if anyone could inform on this. Is it gonna make me some sorta buffoon down the road? Any answers would be appreciated. Thanks\n\nFor context, I probably drink the equivalent of four bottles of beer a day. Usually I get started after I get off work.", "post_id": "bknet4"}, {"question": "That is literally your depression. I've met people whose life did not measure up to any typical standard of success and they were completely content. \n\nDepression makes you think your life sucks.. that YOU suck. But if you were thrown into another world, I can almost guarantee your feelings will transport into that life as well. Because your feelings are about you. \n\nSo what can happen that makes the beautiful life you live, beautiful to you? Because you can see part of the beauty, but there is a massive disconnect that makes you feel like you are not a part of that beautiful world you can recognize. And that right there means you have so much hope and potential. \n\nYou can see and feel beauty. You can see amazing in things that others may dismiss. You are capable of feeling connected and appreciative. How can that, that sight of beauty, turn towards your lil wonderful beingness? \n\nSome people may not be at the step you are. They may not feel the beauty and that's ok. That is their next step. But you, lil sun dollop, are onto your next step. You are still in a quite successful game that is just so eager to have to move to the next level. \n\nKeep treking. And maybe see a therapist. :)", "comment": "I think the world is beautiful. There are so many amazing things to see and do, and seemingly countless possibilities, too many for a single lifetime. I think people are amazing, and the shitty terrible people don't prevent me from appreciating the good ones (whom I consider to be the majority). To me, life is wonderful. Except I don't like *my* life. I wish I could be somebody different, somebody less mediocre, someone more attractive, more intelligent, more motivated, more adventurous, and more knowledgeable about what I'm looking for in life. I'm 21 and all I can think about is everything I have missed out on and will miss out on in life. I wish there was some sort of way to choose to be someone else. I don't want to stop playing, I just wish I could start a new game.", "post_id": "6kfdyy"}, {"question": "summary tl;dr", "comment": "I'm [26/F] and my boyfriend is [27/M].  I've been having some issues with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half and moved in together 6 months ago. Of course when you first date someone the sex is amazing and hands will not stay tamed, but the sex dropped dramatically after the first year. I figured after 3 years then \"yeah that's okay\"; I've noticed he's been watching porn and may have tried some kind of sexting webcam chats with other girls. (Btw, is that cheating?) he won't tell me what's going on or if it's me, I'll gladly change whatever it is I'm doing. He won't speak up. I haven't had an orgasm in 3 months during sex, plus it seems like he doesn't care to satisfy me. When we do have sex there's no 4 play, just rips my clothes of when it's convenient for him and 5 strokes later it's done. We use to have 20-30 minutes sessions or sometimes all night; and just bathed in the glory of each other's naked bodies. So much passion we had. I'm rejected a lot when I try to initiate sex, so I felt like there was something clearly wrong with me. Am I not attractive anymore? Is he bored with me? I like to have fun in the bedroom. He is not a good communicator, anytime I tried to let him know how I feel, I'd get the cold shoulder. It made me feel dirty because I wanted more sex, just to have that connection with him. Even if it didn't last long and if that's what he's worried about then I'm okay with it; just still be considerate about my wants and needs. Or do it more often than once every two weeks. Ive also noticed that my boyfriend takes a lot of unnecessary showers. I may be paranoid, but some mornings he'll hop in (even tho he showered the night before) and I know he's hard and ready to go; but why masterbate when you can have the real thing? If I'm not around its cool I guess, just don't neglect me.  When it comes down to it you're either going to have great love making or a relationship, is there a way you could have both?  I'm lost for answers and I want our passion back. I want him to want me again. I had an idea about bringing in a toy, maybe before or after he does the act with me. Will a vibrator be insulting or will it turn him on and leave visual memories? If he's down I'd let him be in control. I'm trying so hard to keep the flame alive.  I'm going crazy!", "post_id": "5s0lt8"}, {"question": "I presume that this is related to another post of yours regarding PVCs and what the ER doctor said to you. In short, you'll be dead before you could have VTs in an hour. On the other hand, you're probably not having VTs, and the doctors have low suspicion of this.", "comment": "NOT SVT. ", "post_id": "4yxw1g"}, {"question": "Most likely, a therapist would not take either side ( there are extreme situations that are more black/white) .  Your therapist is more likely to explore your perspective,  and issue you mentioned with your sister. \n\nI don't see couples anymore , but when I did , it was really common for a couple to come in with a disagreement and ask \"who is right?\"\n\nI encourage people to think more broadly in their interactions with others. Black/white thinking is a common theme in conflict and often creates conflict.  Most of the time (again, there are situations when absolutes are appropriate) there is no right /wrong,  win/lose. Additionally,  people feel that way when they hold on to if____, then ____, or \"should beliefs.\" \n\nEven if I agreed with you , it would not mean that I would disagree with your friend . Maybe both of you are right.  It would also be appropriate to explore your boundaries,  because you have a right to them ,even when someone thinks you are \"wrong. \"", "comment": "A friend (f48) and I(f54) got into a disagreement over a misunderstood text. I don't think the disagreement matters (maybe a post for AITA) but essentially, the friend told me that I should mention our disagreement to my therapist because my view of our conversation is being colored by my horrible relationship with my sister.\n\nMy question is... If I talked to my therapist about this from my point of view, would she take my side automatically? And if my friend talked to her therapist about it from HER point of view, wouldn't the therapist take her side?\n\nWe both think we are right and the other is wrong, so would that really accomplish anything?\n\nAlso - I'm not even seeing a therapist right now - but I'm not opposed to starting again.", "post_id": "fpcag1"}, {"question": "\n\n* 1.  You have to decide this for yourself.  If the psychiatrist prescribed it, they think it's the best thing to help you with your symptoms.  \n* 2.  Talk to your psychiatrist about side effects.  Every medication has different ones.  Most people don't experience all of them and very few people ever experience the severe ones.  \n* 3.  Taking medication may change you somewhat as I'm sure a lot of your personality is wrapped up in the thoughts and behaviors that are influenced by the anxiety.  When you're feeling less anxious your personality may seem to change somewhat, but you'll always be you!\n* 4.  Once again, it all depends on the medication you take.  I take Adderall for pretty severe ADHD.  For me, it actually calms me down, allows me to focus on things for extended periods of time, and be substantially less hypervigilant and anxious when driving.  Medication generally effects everyone a little differently.  ADHD medication generally works instantly.  Most anti-depressants (SSRI's that are also commonly prescribed for anxiety) can take a few weeks of taking daily to build up in your system and be effective.    \n* 5.  Going to therapy consistently is probably your best bet to help with your anxiety.  Multiple studies show that the best thing you can do is a combination of regular weekly therapy with medication.  If given the option between weekly therapy OR medication only, therapy wins out.  \n\n\nIf you're currently in med school you should look to see if your school offers free counseling for students.  Most colleges and universities do.  Given that you're already paying for it as part of tuition costs, you might as well use it.  \n", "comment": "Hi everyone, \nI am a first year med student suffering from a number of mental illnesses be it OCD ( mainly pure-o), SOCIAL ANXIETY, GAD, PANIC DISORDER, ONYCHOPHAGIA and mild AGORAPHOBIA ( all being in severe stage).\nI have been diagnosed officially by psychiatrist. \nThey have prescribed me meds but I am not taking them due to their potential side effects. I am also not attending the therapy sessions due to financial issues. I haven't told these things to my parents or to any other person but the psychiatrist. Now, my anxiety has gone out of control and I am looking forward towards my recovery.\nMy question to you people is as follows-\n1. Should I start taking the medicine prescribed by psychiatrist?\n2.What are the potential side effects of these medicines?\n3.Will it damage my brain and change me as a whole( ruining my positive traits also)\n4.How does one feel after taking such medicine?? Do they really work? How long do they take to show their full effects??\n5.Is there any alternative method to cure the illness??\nLooking forward to your replies.\nIt's very urgent!!!!!", "post_id": "8vtp1b"}, {"question": "Well done. That southern night by the pool sounds really great ! ", "comment": "They headed to the bar attached to the lobby as soon as we got our bags to the room. I shut the curtains, turned off the lights and meditated for 20 minutes. Just me and the hum of the AC. My foundation of sobriety has been feeling pretty solid these days, but every now and then...in situations like these, that all-too-familiar thirst creeps in ever so slightly and I feel a little momentary wobble.    \nNow I\u2019m out by the pool...the whole place to myself enjoying the solitude in the heavy air of this Southern summer evening. I am grateful to have clarity, peace, and calm in my mind. Thanks for being here, SD. IWNDWYT.    \n    \nEDIT: Thanks for all of the support, you beautiful people. I realized that little craving snuck up on me because I was HUNGRY! Ate a bunch of different types of empanadas and now I\u2019m going to watch some shitty hotel TV until I pass out. My roomies left to go out to the bars. I\u2019m going to wake up feeling great...", "post_id": "96182w"}, {"question": "I'm a psychiatrist. You should see your primary care physician for a complete physical exam, blood tests, and a referral for a sleep study.", "comment": "Im a 18yo female with no history of any mental illness and i take no medication \nGoogle was no help, it keeps saying its sleep paralysis tho im not paralyzed after theses dreams \nA couple of nights ago i had a dream that a guy was following me and when i woke up he was in the corner of my room as vivid as a real person \nI immediately sat up and started writing in my dream journal i spoke and told him to leave and he did\nThese sort of dreams also happen with the feeling of touch, not just visuals which i feel is important to say \n\nI didn't feel paralyzed nor was it difficult to breath like i heard happens in sleep paralysis \n\nI dont know if this is related but i feel its worth mentioning but sometimes when im completely awake walls or bedsheets look like they're breathing or ill see growing colors that arent there--- when i told my mom she said shed take me to a psychiatrist when we have more money so i dont see it happening for a while \n\nBasically all i want to know is, is this something i should worry about or are there things i should specifically monitor", "post_id": "bqw405"}, {"question": "are you ready to be a dad and a settled family man? ", "comment": "Hey so I have a question me and my girlfriend we broke up after two years of dating. We were going to get married this coming summer but she left me before Christmas because I didn't like her family and didn't like to\nBe around them that much.\nSo now I found this cute girl she is only 25 years old and has a house but she only works as a nanny from home while she spends time with her little daughter. Her older brother lives with her to help pay the bills. My question is what should I expect by dating this girl. She told me she is looking for a father figure for the child, and she is interested in getting married and having a child of my own with her so her daughter can have a sister or a brother.\nShould I get into this or not? I'm tired of dating I just want one women, but in the past 8 years my 3 girlfriends  that I loved left me :/. I'm currently 28 years old and getting older by day. \n\nPlease help lol   ", "post_id": "5makj0"}, {"question": "many people choose that if traditional pregnancy isn't forthcoming. for many, it's that, or adoption or staying childless.  you may have to get your SO to commit to a time-frame...", "comment": "I'm a 34 year old woman, two months away from 35. I have always wanted to have children but have never had the opportunity. I'm in a relationship now with an amazing man that is not wanting to start a family just yet because he supports his family. I feel like I'm running out of time to have a child. I've been thinking about getting a sperm donor. Has anyone else gone this route? Can you tell me about your experience? Does it bother you that your child may have multiple siblings out in the world? ", "post_id": "74vh4l"}, {"question": "You asked how you could tell \"objectively\" if you have Asperger's = you have Asperger's.  nice and simple.", "comment": "I apologize in advance for the wall-of-text:\n\nI'm an early 30-something.  I was raised in a religious family which didn't believe in slapping labels on anything except the most prominent and severe mental conditions.  I've always had a very unusual, outside-the-box way of looking at things (similar to most folks with Asperger's).  I started out my life as a seemingly intelligent, inquisitive kid with a voracious appetite for learning about all sorts of things which didn't interest most others in my age group.  I was someone who was very bubbly, 'spiritual' and engaged with others around me.  I was also an awkward, geeky kid in school who had a very hard time with an active mind which wouldn't let me pay attention easily and I didn't conform to social norms, many of which I didn't understand.  I was always bored and distracted.  I was also very friendly but became less so as I got older, having been picked on a lot because I was geeky and socially awkward.  \n\nLife brought me a lot of religion-based rejection from family & friends upon discovering that I preferred the same sex, went on to date a few people and have a several-year, troubled relationship which ended when my other half left me then quickly died of cancer.  This wrecked me pretty bad and I have some of the telltale signs of PTSD: huge, major gaps in memory in the first few years after the death (as in, entire friendships and interactions with people which should have been significant enough to imprint into memory during that time period... no trace of them), irrational anger, sadness and mental anxiety which comes suddenly out of nowhere and randomly leaves as suddenly as it came on.  There are a lot of times when I just can't shut my head off.  \n\nAs I got older I became very disconnected from previous religiousness as it yielded no comfort for some of the things I went through.  These days I view things in a very cold, logical way and am not given to being or becoming emotionally attached to people.  It has lead to a lot of misunderstanding and difficulty in my life, particularly in my relationships with family & friends.  Some of them have been incredibly accomodating and understanding, others have become increasingly distant and/or nonexistent in my life.  I neither take compliments nor insults very well.  I get the general sense that any/all well-meaning compliments or attempts to help or connect with me stop at the skin and never make it inside to have the intended effect.  I hold almost everything and everyone at arm's length because maintaining friendships & relationships exhausts me.  To get by, I maintain a token facade of minimal interest in and knowledge of popular things which bore me to tears while everyone else thinks they're great: sports, reality shows, celebrities, etc.  \n\nSo my questions are:  How do I determine if what I am currently experiencing is something in the Asperger's spectrum or the typical depression which comes as a result of heavy emotional trauma? It seems that the two conditions share some of the same symptoms.  Is there such a thing as having Asperger's as well as A.D.D. as those also seem to share some of the same symptoms? If so, how does one tell which is which?\n\nI'm kind of at a breaking point, having resorted to smoking cannabis frequently and occasionally drinking heavily because it's often the only way I can turn my head off, enjoy myself and have feelings which don't suck.  I realize that this is not a tenable position in the long term if I expect to have the healthy, productive life I want but am just not capable of taking on right now.  Am trying to figure out which paths I should explore to try to fix my problems.  I'm not fishing for pity as we all have our own, unique struggles and many of you have had it worse than me.  I'm just looking for honest advice and figured you folks might understand and be able to help me figure out what to do and how to weed out my condition(s).  I want to be able to have healthy, normal relationships with those around me and find love again some day. Your help and advice will be much appreciated.\n\n**Metric shitload of edits:** *spelling, grammar, sentence structure and a million nitpicky details*", "post_id": "13ando"}, {"question": "Actually, me too!  I'm 85 days sober, and I think mine started to come back a couple of weeks ago.  At least, that's when I started to notice.", "comment": "As I've discovered, there are many changes that come with sobriety.  One I wasn't expecting was at 45 years old my libido suddenly not only returning, but with the ferocity of a high school student in puberty....lol.\n\nAnyone else experience this ?  Another way my body is returning to normal ?\n\nJust curious...maybe it's just me...lol.", "post_id": "dllm2r"}, {"question": "Try to invite them to hang out outside of the class. If you strike up a conversation during the class and it's going well, then be like \"Hey, you seem pretty cool. Want to hang out sometime?\" and see where it goes.", "comment": "I've been going there for about 2 months and the people there are pretty cool people if you know what I mean but I feel so isolated from the rest of them and like an outsider, please help me I don't know what to say to them.. :(", "post_id": "19iv32"}, {"question": "Yes, she was definitely abusive. It sounds like you have symptoms of complex PTSD. \n\nI'm so happy for you that you're in what sounds like a loving relationship now. Please start working with a therapist that specializes in trauma if at all possible. Good luck to you.", "comment": "Hey, um, this might be graphic and so I'll NSFW it as soon as I post it as a trigger warning. I'll TW for emotional and sexual abuse, before we get any further.\n\n\nI was with a girl for two and a half years, and let's call her The Rock because that's funny and it'll maybe make the story easier to tell. Our relationship was fun at first - you know, declarations of love, thoughts of children. We definitely dove into it too fast. I had known her for two years beforehand, though, and thought I knew what I was getting into. She had talked previously about her terrible past relationships, and I was assured that I would be different, because I 'knew' she was good.\n\n\nThen.. it got bad. Over time, I started to wear on her. I didn't do anything the way she liked and she constantly reminded me of this. She would yell, and we took breaks.. Jesus, I don't even know, dozens and dozens of times. They only lasted for a day, however, as we were, I now realise, codependent. \n\n\nOur relationship went downhill past about the first year. She loved her family, which I admired, but she did at the expense of everyone else, including me. If i didn't want to do something with her family, or if I even politely gave a differing opinion, I could and would be bullied for it. See, in retrospect I just feel like a p*ssy. (censoring that in case anyone's affected, I'm just trying to think ahead.)\n\n\nThat was a long-running theme in our relationship - what she wanted mattered more than what I wanted. Her letting me do what I wanted was seen as her giving me a gift, and I felt the need to ask for everything. Half of the time when I did I'd get a 'how could you do that, you don't know me, you don't know who i am' and half of the time I got a 'well duh, you can do what you want.'\n\n\nAnd the thing is, as she did this to me, at the same time she reinforced the idea that I was weak. My kindness, what she had said had made me so beautiful in her eyes at the beginning, my soft heart, was now too soft. She wanted to live a fast life, a dark life, and I wanted to sit in the garden and read a book, and that wasn't okay, and we couldn't do it because she didn't want to and I didn't know what to do without her and thought I loved her.\n\n\nShe screamed at me in the final months of the relationship for not having memorised the layout of her kitchen. Every time I visited her, I would be stepping on eggshells and then I would somehow slip the tiniest thing, and she would scream, and she would make me feel bad, and she would tell me that she wanted me to feel bad, and say that I was the source of her issues. And then, in an hour, she would say that I was lovely, and that she loved me.\n\n\nThis extended to our sex life. We were teenagers, and so we should have used condoms, and I said, repeatedly, that we should use condoms, but she couldn't be bothered, and I caved in. Like most things, it was all about her - sex was, essentially, me thinking of cats and brick walls and other stupid shit to stop myself from cumming too fast. Otherwise, if I did come too fast, she would cry, say that I should have masturbated earlier, and, at one point, hit me. She told me that she could only cum by thinking about other men who didn't love her. I understandably did not know how to process this. I felt sexually weak and impotent and this did not bode well for my libido and so the issue only worsened. She blamed me for her body issues.\n\nAt this point I started to become obsessively sexually attracted to other people. In retrospect I think my subconscious was telling me that I needed to get out. I am naturally, and I now know this, completely monogamous. I went and had sex with a man, as I'm bisexual, and it was a pretty awful experience. In the last months of our relationship I almost arranged to meet and have sex with random girls because.. because I was obsessed with the idea. She knew about all of this, and she reminded me constantly of how much it effected her. \n\n\nFor at least a year and a half, a dark cloud hung over my life, honestly. My parents accidentally insulted her at my sister's wedding and she refused to see them for the entire rest of the relationship. She made me choose between her or them, and, of course, I chose her.\n\n\nNow I am in a relationship with a beautiful boy who loves me very much and I love him very much. I am very attracted to him, sexually and otherwise, but I often find myself unable to be touched. If anything goes wrong, sexually, I want to cease to exist, and a lot of the time, I'm not able to do it out of sheer anxiety. I used to be a very soft person, and I hope I'm still kind, but now I'm quicker to anger, and I don't want to become an abuser.\n\n\nBasically... was I abused? Does that sound like something an abused person would say? I feel like I have the symptoms of PTSD. This is a super long post, I'm sorry. All the best to anyone who reads this.", "post_id": "5pw5m6"}, {"question": "Yes I would recommend you find help. No matter how stable you are, thoughts of suicide are not healthy. They put your life in danger, no matter how out of place they feel.\n\nYou should consider looking into mental health services. It sounds like your life is going really well, so logically there's no reason for you to consider suicide. There is something contradictory occurring, and it's very important you look into that as soon as possible.", "comment": "I want to die all the time and constantly think about it. But I am functional - I strive toward goals, exercise, starting a new job I've worked very hard to get in September. Have a lovely SO.\n\nI have been like this for a long long time. I meditate and try to stay aware/mindful but the feeling that I want to die remains pretty much always. If anything bad happens, even small, it becomes stronger.\n\nDo I need help? Is it normal for some people to feel this way? Is it even possible to change this?", "post_id": "4gkscz"}, {"question": "Hi there! I'm sorry you're feeling particularly anxious right now... I've definitely been there before :( However, reviewing some facts about norovirus will probably help put your mind at ease: norovirus is only transmitted via the fecal-oral route (just as gross as it sounds :) ). That means that you have to ingest the virus particles, which are found in fecal matter and v* of people with noro, in order to be infected. Breathing the same air as someone who is infected (and we don't even know if your coworker was infected!) will not get you sick with norovirus. Touching things he touched will not get you sick either, unless he had virus particles on his hands from v*/poop and you touched that surface THEN touched your own mouth without washing your hands.\n\nSo, reviewing logic:\n1) We don't even know if your coworker has a contagious virus\n2) If he does, he wasn't actively sick yet, so he was not yet contagious to you since the virus is only transmitted via fecal-oral\n\nTake some deep breaths and watch a funny TV show or read a good book! :)", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "71umh1"}, {"question": "You've gotten lots of good advice.  Don't hestitate to ask the psychiatrist questions, either.  Since most appointments are just 15-20 minutes (a consult is usually longer, or a first visit), I jot down notes and questions I have, effects I experience from meds, issues, etc.  I do this when they happen so I don't forget due to muddlydepressiongirlbrain.  I bring the notes with me and if any are still legitimate concerns by the appointment, we discuss them together.\n\nI do this with both the psychiatrist and my therapist.  I keep a journal for the same reason, to track moods and mood triggers.  It's been really helpful alongside my treatment.", "comment": "I have to see a psychiatrist on Monday for the first time ever; what can I expect?", "post_id": "yd7bm"}, {"question": "While there's a hell of a lot more that goes into than just this, feeling calmer after taking stimulants can be one indicator of ADHD.  Inability to focus can cause pretty severe depression and anxiety.  A lot of times, undiagnosed ADHD can be the root cause of severe depression and especially anxiety when left untreated.  \n\nCaffeine in general will make most people that are already anxious more anxious.  It can be a good booster for those depressed to get motivated to get stuff done (as inactivity when there are responsibilities to take care of will cause a ton of natural anxiety).\n\nIt may be worth it to talk to a psychiatrist or even your general practitioner about your symptoms and concerns regarding inability to focus.  \n\nFor instance, a lot of people take ADHD meds recreationally.  They're stimulants and people without ADHD take them to get hyped.  If someone with ADHD takes them, it more often than not has the reverse effect and calms them down.   \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "Hello, I have been struggling with anxiety/depression the past 10+ years. I am prescribed sertraline (daily) and Xanax for panic attacks.\n\nI was wanting to see everyone else's experience with caffeine. Does it help your anxiety or make it worse? I struggle to focus daily and knowing I can't focus makes my anxiety worse and I'm less productive.  It seems I can not fully process. So I will drink about 200mg caffeine and that gives me the confidence to get work done. I never really get anxiety from caffeine like most people. So I'm not sure where to go from here. ", "post_id": "731ha0"}, {"question": "breaks should be defined. did it end or is it a break? breaks should be one month, with scheduled contact and no dating others.", "comment": "If things ended and you both need some space, how long do you wait before reconnecting?\n\nToo long may kill the chances of getting back together, though so too could trying to reconnect too soon.\n\nAnyone been in this situation?", "post_id": "6belks"}, {"question": "You're giving her protein. It's not exactly balanced nutrition. Multivitamins and/or omega-3 might be a better option.", "comment": "She is extremely picky when it comes to foods and I'm concerned that she's not getting her dailey nutrition. \n\nI make myself a protein shake in the morning. She does not like to drink milk. So, I pour a little bit into a cup for her, less than half a cup. Im making maybe a 16oz cup and I'll give her maybe 4. \n\nHer mom thinks this is a bad idea that's its not healthy for her. My argument is that now she's drinking milk and getting some proteins....\n\nIs it bad for her?\n\nhttps://imgur.com/gallery/oRa11\n\nThe protein in question\n\n", "post_id": "531mij"}, {"question": "Rather than add more drugs, particularly for anxiety the first and best intervention is to stop cannabis. Anything is is trying to paper over something that clearly contributes to the problem.\n\nReally, with so much self-administered polypharmacy it\u2019s very hard to know how you\u2019re doing underneath it all. First, stop other things for a sustained period. Then figure out what, if anything, you still need.", "comment": "Hi, I have major depression and anxiety alongside ASD (Asperger's). I also have a substance misuse problem in the form of daily cannabis use, paired with stimulant use (MDMA, LSD) around 1-3 a month. Occasionally I'll lose faith in everything for the billionth time and I'll try something like Oxycodone, but that's a rarity, especially as I accidentally overdosed recently and had to be taken into hospital. I turned 18 in September, am a smoker and have been trying to hold down a 9-5, Monday-Friday job for 6 months but it's starting to feel really impossible.\n\nFYI, I'm 18, male, 181cm, 77kg, white British.\n\nI first got help in September 2018, where I was prescribed Fluoxetine by my GP. I went up to 40mg/day for around 3 months with no benefit whatsoever. After this failed to work, I started taking Cannabis regularly and that has stayed ever since. I was eventually referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) and the psychiatrist prescribed me Sertraline (went up to 150mg for 3 months) and I started work with a counsellor. Turns out the counselor was the definition of useless and the Sertraline had absolutely no effect like the Fluoxetine, with the only exception being that I felt more emotionally \"blunt\" than usual. From this point, I was seeing my psychiatrist every two months and I believe I quit 6th Form (college) shortly after this.\n\nAfter this and multiple suicide attempts, I eventually ended up back with my psychiatrist, this time needing something radically different given the circumstances. I specifically didn't want to try another SSRI, given that I had already tried two unsuccessfully and I was a few months from being 18, I asked for Duloxetine as it has no further toxicity risk than an SSRI and TCAs obviously do.\n\nUnfortunately, after going up to 60mg for 2 months, I only noticed adverse side effects (like extreme sleepiness, one of my main problems) and no benefits. My psychiatrist added low-dose (50-100mg/day) Quetiapine on after this, and I stayed on the Duloxetine for a few more weeks but eventually came off it. I also came off the Quetiapine after about a month since I noticed no benefit.\n\nMy aunt takes Pregabalin for her anxiety and I was aware of it as 3rd-line anxiolytic in the UK, so I asked my psychiatrist and he told me they \"don't use that here\" and he \"\\[didn't\\] want to add it to his 'medication repertoire'. That made me annoyed as I was struggling with extreme anxiety alongside the depression, and I had tried Gabapentin before with success as an anxiolytic, so I bought it and started taking it. It worked like a miracle drug and took a huge load off my shoulders. Just remember that at this point, this is the only psychiatric medication I've taken that's had a benefit. After about 2 months, I saw a gastroenterologist (for my IBS) and he prescribed it to me. This means I'm taking it for a psychiatric purpose yet it's prescribed for neuropathic pain... nevertheless, it still works.\n\nI started taking Quetiapine again to help with sleep as I tried to get off cannabis (failed) but I ended up taking a dose of about 150-250mg/day opposed to my prescribed dose of 100mg/day, which is what I've noticed has helped slightly compared to the low-dose. I'm not sure how to explain this to my psychiatrist, as he wanted to keep me on a low dose yet didn't even bother to ask me if I'm still taking it (despite it being months since he prescribed it).\n\nI also tried self-administration of low-dose Ketamine on a weekly basis (done properly with tested pharmaceutical Ketamine administered intramuscularly), and whilst it did help on the day, the residual effects were not great enough for me to justify continuing treatment. The one thing I did notice is that it is extremely beneficial for me when when I'm suicidal, and now instead of going to A&E for 5 hours only to be told to go home because you're not psychotic, I can administer an injection of Ketamine and it has truly remarkable results.\n\nI'm seeing my psychiatrist in February and plan to ask him about some specific medications:\n\n1. Buspirone, a serotonin receptor agonist, for anxiety\n2. Vortioxetine, an SSRI/serotonin modulator, for depression and anxiety\n3. Lithium, for mood stabilisation\n\nI also plan on buying some Tianeptine, an atypical \u00b5-opioid receptor agonist, useful for depression, anxiety and IBS as it is only available in Portugal and I wish to try it. I'll trial this before seeing my psychiatrist and will discuss with him if it's useful.\n\nMy question is, are there any medications I've missed or anything else that's worth looking at?", "post_id": "eo3vjz"}, {"question": "Couples therapy isn\u2019t appropriate at this time. \n\nYour mother needs individual therapy to give her a place to process these changes and related stress. Your father needs to continue with his own behavioral therapy. Any licensed therapist will be able to support her in this journey.", "comment": "I am hoping to convince my mom to talk to someone.\n\nDad has some health issues, and likely frontotemporal dementia (behavioral variant, still doing tests).  It's obviously causing them both a lot of stress, but given the emotional disconnect with the dementia for Dad, my mom is faring worse.  Dad is now often incapable of compromise in anything, Mom is feeling like \"not a person\" to him.  Dad has just started seeing someone to help with behavioral issues (that was quite a battle), no idea yet if that will improve anything.  \n\nMom won't join a support group for herself or do couples counsling because she thinks neither will be helpful due to the dementia issues and 40 years of marriage issues and won't do joint dementia therapy because reasons???\n\nAny suggestions for a type of assistance or therapy that will help her deal with things?  She calls me to vent, but is adamant that it's not venting, that I just need to know what's going on in case Dad ends up living with me if she can't deal with it.  I can't do much from 500 miles away.\n\nAny suggestions for a specific type of therapy or support?", "post_id": "c5yxm1"}, {"question": "Congrats! Day 7 here. AA is helping me so much. (I know AA is not for everyone.) \n\nFor today, I will not drink. One day at a time.", "comment": "This is the longest I've gone in 3 years now, day 3 is usually the day I fuck up. Day 1 was a nightmare, I was absolutely seething. Day two was much the same. Day 3 I started taking campral, and things were a bit better, I actually got some sleep and my appetite returned (holy shit, i'm always hungry now).\n\nToday is day four, and I'm determined not to drink. I'm still waiting until 6pm up take my campral as it makes me drowsy, so I just need to hang in there until then and I'll have made it another day.\n\nHow are you guys doing? \n\nTIWNDWY", "post_id": "gkuh5a"}, {"question": "You don't say what the \"maximum dose\" you're taking is. There's some evidence that higher than standard doses of escitalopram may be more effective for some patients.\n\nThe best treatment for insomnia and anxiety, both in terms of efficacy and side effects, is psychotherapy. CBT for insomnia is well validated and can be found many places, including in modified form online.\n\nOther possible medications include doxepin (Silenor/Sinequan), trazodone (Desyrel, but rarely goes by brand name), gabapentin (Neurontin), suvorexant (Belsomra), or Z-drugs (Ambien/zolpidem, Lunesta/eszopiclone, etc.), in roughy the order that I would consider them.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "e7zcgd"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "Ok so long story I pretty much cheated on my girl friend of 4 years. Now by that I mean I was talking to other girls. She found went through my phone saw them and kicked me out. Now that was 2 weeks ago. We have been talking she wants me to move back and we both want to fix this. I've been open with her about it. Told her everything. Now the only thing is. Is we don't know what to do next. We don't know how to fix. ", "post_id": "60g91g"}, {"question": "getting therapy?", "comment": "It's only been a little over four months, but it's been quite the whirlwind. We met, we clicked, we had a lot energy between us. I can't remember the last time I felt that strongly about someone, not that I would claim to have never loved nor felt strong feelings for anyone before her. From the beginning, I have had to negotiate the terrain presented by the fact she has kids. Perhaps a little background on me is worth explaining here at this juncture..\n\nI have spent roughly the last decade in a series of sporadic, abortive 'relationships' and one-night stands, essentially living a hollow existence of working and going out drinking a lot, and basically womanising at any opportunity. Really only as a means to the end of hopefully meeting someone with whom I could have a real connection with. Nonetheless this existence has left me without children of my own, and my relationship with V has been a series of firsts, not least in this department.\n\nI feel I have had to do a lot of growing up in short order, and spend a lot of time outside of my comfort zones. I don't think I would trade that for the life I had, here I feel like there is more value and purpose to my life supporting her and the family.\nFrom the beginning, we haven't had the opportunities to properly 'date', barring our first date. Which itself didn't last very long before we went back to hers, as she gets no real support from her family for childcare and had had to leave her two younger children under supervision of her early-teens son, which she could only do for a couple of hours. So from the start, it's been based on being at hers and hanging out a lot in her kitchen. And those days have been good, we've put the world to rights and generally got to learn an immense amount about each other. You play the cards you're dealt in life, if I stuck to the convention of what dating should involve, we could never have gotten to know each other the way we do.\n\nShe lived quite a fair bit away from me and I've done the lion's share of the travelling, not that I resent that, but it couldn't continue forever. The taxis were expensive, eating a fair chunk of my finances and geography didn't really allow other options. Furthermore as I spent more time at hers, I was spending money both on holding down my own flat and also on supporting her and the kids.\n\nMoney is tight for her, and somewhat sooner than one would expect, its come down to a decision to move in together. Which we did, last week. Not without some apprehension, I ruthlessly culled my possessions and moved into hers. She has family and friends here, I don't. I did/do have a fear of it being too suffocating for her, and I'll explain that and more about her now.\n\nV is complex. And not unlike me in that respect. She is intelligent, intuitive and very fucking feisty when she wants to be. That can manifest itself in positive and negative ways. What's great about us is we both know our shit stinks, and will usually admit to our failings and misdeamenours and forgive each other. I think that's an important quality in a successful relationship.\n\nBut she has experienced a lot of trauma in her life, in her past relationships. She only recently moved back up north to this area, only some three or four months prior to meeting me. The previous chapter of her life was down south, with the two fathers of her four kids. The father of her older two kids was a manipulative sociopath, gaslighting and beating her semi-regularly. As one might expect, this experience leaves her quick to be defensive - in general I'd say it's given her a keen sense of 'survival' - which means I suppose she has trouble letting people in. Her subsequent relationship with the father of her younger two kids I would summarise as \"he was a nice man, but stubborn, completely lacking domestically and in the common sense department.\" As it was presented to me, at least. She broke up with him shortly before coming back up north with her older son and two youngest, and mentally and physically she'd left him a long time before that, spending nigh on a year going out constantly and sleeping on the couch.\n\nHer anxieties are compounded by the fact that roughly a year ago, she was raped whilst intoxicated by some semi-random acquaintance. It left her with what has been diagnosed as Complex PTSD. She has been in counselling since she moved back, once a week. If I'm honest, I do dread that particular day of the week as I know she will be bruised and battered emotionally, and hence cold, distant and on a short fuse. I sympathise, and know better than to ask about it. I try and stay out her way and tend to practical matters. She's a very expressive sleeper, she talks and moves around a lot in her sleep, sometimes crying. She has a lot of nightmares about the things that have happened to her, and to sleep with her is to know and understand how real it all is.\n\nOutside of counselling, dealing with the demands of her two younger children can leave her absolutely drained, and often she needs space in those rare moments of peace and quiet rather than to hang out with me and talk. She gets that burnt out by it all. I continue to learn to respect these boundaries.\n\nYou might wonder how this has affected our sex life - well for most of it, it's been on a positive trajectory, at least in terms of her slowly becoming more intimate with me and learning to relax and treat it not as an obligation she has to fulfill to me, but as something that's about her needs as well. I could get more detailed, hopefully you can read between the lines a little here. When we first met, we slept fully clothed next to each other. She was just grateful for a hug. Slowly we progressed to sex, at first treated mechanically, but as I say, we moved forward from there to something more mutually enjoyable and closer.\n\nI'd say even prior to moving in, we have had something of an accelerated relationship. We have very quickly got past the initial flush of lust and fascination, to a more 'married' dynamic, even before my moving in with her. I'm not a figure of fascination to her anymore, she doesn't have a burning desire to know about me and my day as she once did. Understandable. We've moved to a place in our relationship where we know each other, there aren't so many secrets and mysteries, and we're preoccupied with the necessary mundanities of life.\n\nIf that sets the scene for some of the issues she has, which I take on as part and parcel of who she is - and she is who I want to share my life with. We all have our flaws, there are no perfect people and it's questionable as to what the perfect relationship might entail. I have more of a handle on who she is, at this precise moment, than who I am. Nothing, or no-one, who was ever worth anything, was ever easy.\n\nWith her being an incredibly intuitive, and really learned in terms of the experience she's had in life, she has brought me to confront some uncomfortable truths about who or what I am. For someone who has spent a long time looking after himself alone, holding down a job and a place without family support or much consistency in my life in general - just having to do it all myself really - I am somehow quite needy. I hate that about me. I always try to put her needs ahead of mine, but I am sometimes just looking for a sign that I actually have a place or add value to her life. This can predictably drive her away. When I feel we're on the same page - when we're happy or chatting happily or whatever - I don't feel a need to know we're ok. But when she puts her barriers up, I tend fear for the state and trajectory of our relationship. A silent process of Facebook and Candy Crush therapy often ensues. I used to find this somewhat rude and ignorant, but I've come to appreciate the role they play in taking her away from her problems. As I say, I am learning to back off in these times.\n\nAnd that's another thing I've had to confront about myself since meeting her - I have a tendency to overthink. I analyse things incessantly. I don't enjoy it, I too am happier when I am just 'being' rather than wondering about the state of our relationship. Mindfulness, I believe, is the relevant concept. And I am intense. Too intense for her, she feels. I think that manifests itself as my wanting to confront parts of our relationship whilst she doesn't want to be dealing with heavy shit like that. There's rarely a right time to discuss these things. Not to get too drawn into equivocating too much, but she too is intense. Really I wonder if my intensity is unpleasant only when I'm wanting to talk about us. We're both passionate people, and that can also make for a good dynamic, on a good day.\n\nSo whilst I think I'm adapting and learning to deal with her kids, and her boundaries, there's something that really leaves me no choice for the moment but to throw myself at the mercy of Reddit. I have had an ongoing problem for a number of years - it takes me ages to cum, if at all. The sex life I said earlier had a positive trajectory, is now at rock bottom. I hate to be graphic, but most women on some level like to be, well, you know, as well as the more tender and protracted lovemaking sessions. And she's had enough. I leave her cold, and right now it's off the menu. I can get it up, I can make her cum (she loves when I go down on her, she's never had that unconditionally before) - but I can't finish the deed and that frustrates her so much. Of course, that feeds into a fear that she'd end up going elsewhere.\n\nThat leads me somewhere else - we quasi-talk about swinging. I feel like my love for her is pure, I care about her needs, and it's something she's occasionally played with the idea of taking back control of; the abusive ex-partner used to coerce her into swinging and going dogging, usually getting her off her face beforehand. This only comes out when we're intoxicated, and I think we both feel sober that we need to be good with ourselves first.\n\nI know how good we can be when we have our shit going on, but right now our shit is not going on.\n\nI'm not even sure what I'm asking of you, but I don't have anywhere else to take this right now. Perhaps as in the title, what relates to what, what can be 'fixed', how bad does it look to you?\n\nTL;DR: Her - PTSD, barriers, cold, distant. Me - Too intense, guilty of neediness, sexual problems.", "post_id": "5vb60a"}, {"question": "Don\u2019t quote me on this but I think in most places there is no statute of limitations when it comes to childhood sexual abuse.....but just calling the line they can tell you if it warrants report or not and maybe do that before you tell the client that you need to report it. Then gather info from the client (the agency can probably let you know what info they will need for a report). \nThings I would probably find out from the client: \n\nFull name and age \n\nDo they know where the abuser is now? \n\nDo they know if the abuser currently has access to kids? \n\nAlso remind the client that things will be kept confidential and that if anything comes of it you\u2019ll process and work through that as things come up. Then if there\u2019s decisions to make about anything you\u2019ll figure it out.  (Some clients may fear having to testify or press charges etc. and it\u2019s also opening up the wounds even more).", "comment": "I couldn't find an answer to this hypothetical, could you all help?\n\nVictim is mid twenties who brought up abuse suffered between fifteen and years prior. She's been no contact with abuser for ten years.\n\nIs therapist required to report the abuse be victim was a child back then or not mandated because victim is now an adult? Does the state matter?", "post_id": "edhjvu"}, {"question": "I think this is one of those situations where teo things can be true.  The other child's behavior could be within the range of typical childhood exploration AND you be legitimately victimized by it.  One does not invalidate the other .\n\nGenerally speaking,  this behavior alone is not cause for concern (same age,  nothing particularly violent), but that only speaks to the child who did it.  That doesn't mean your feelings are wrong. You aren't overreacting.", "comment": "I know a lot of children explore their bodies and sometimes do so with friends, but I have a memory from kindergarten that has stuck with me throughout the years. As someone who's experienced sexual assault on different occasions, I'm wondering if this early experience could even be classified as trauma and what I can do to get past it. I've mentioned this experience to a professional previously and they basically dismissed it as nothing.\n\nI remember being in the back on class at a table with another kid. His parents ran the school, which was very small, a few kids to each grade. I think it may have been snack time and he turned to me and asked me if I wanted to play a game that he plays at home with his family. I said yes. He told me to pull down my tights and underwear so I did so and he touched me down there. \n\nI got home that night and was having dinner. My parents asked me how my day was and I mentioned that so and so touched my \"private parts\". Not knowing there was anything wrong with this. Of course my parents were not happy and came to the school to speak with the principal, his father. I dont really know what they discussed but all I was told was that people werent supposed to touch me there and I dont think we spoke of it ever again. I think a lot of shame stems from this experience but I'm not sure because I dont speak about what happened with anyone. \n\nI have flashbacks of this memory often and feel disgusting and naked when I do think of it. I dont know what to do. And I dont want feel dismissed again like I did when I brought it up to that professional. Am I just overreacting? I know it's common for kids to play and explore but I felt like I was tricked into something even by a child my own age. And it kind of disturbed me that he said it was a game his family played at home.\n\nAny help or advice with this would be greatly appreciated. Please no negative comments. It's taken me years to even bring this up.", "post_id": "hoj01k"}, {"question": "18 year old college student with 12 months here. Everyday I put my shoes under my bed at night and take them out in the morning. What you have outlined is all I need in life to stay sober; a rigorous plan of action, a fellowship of alcoholics, and a power greater than myself that can do for me what I can't.", "comment": "This is what has worked for me...\n\nBefore I relieve myself in the morning I **hit my knees** and thank my Higher Power for another opportunity to stay sober again, just for today.\n\nStart the coffee. Shower. Eat. \nI read the daily reflection in *Touchstones* by Hazelden, a morning meditation book for men, and then **call my sponsor**. We discuss the reading, laugh at ourselves, and exchange our plans for the day. \nIt's a beautiful morning.\nI leave my apartment for class with the *intention of being the best man I can be, just for today.*\n\nIts lunch time and I **call another alcoholic** in the program. We laugh and talk shop. \nI have lunch with some friends. \nIt's afternoon now and I do some of my homework. \n\nBy 4:30 I head to a church on campus to set up the \"Students and young people\" **meeting.** Coffee ready to go, big books and readings, check. I go out for a cig. \n\nFriends from the rooms begin to show up and we're laughing and having fun. The meeting is dynamite.\n\nNow begins the meeting-after-the-meeting. **Where many of us all go out for dinner and have fun.** \n\nI am back at my place and finish some school work. \nShower. Brush my teeth.\nI **hit my knees again** and thank my Higher Power for the opportunity to stay sober again, just for today.\nSleep. ", "post_id": "1on2lz"}, {"question": "You don't have a diagnosis, but that is not the same as not having any examination or testing done to rule things out. Presumably the cardiologist has done at least some of that.\n\nAt some point it's worth looking into how much your symptoms could be driven by anxiety. Anxiety, poor sleep, fatigue, headache, and arrhythmia can all be interlinked. You don't mention a psychiatrist or therapist or any treatment of any kind for the anxiety you mention. Why?", "comment": "Im 19 and male and I've developed rather strange ailments the last few months maybe even years. I live with my parents and am still on their insurance, I'm 270lbs, I vape, I have major anxiety issues, terrible sleep and fatigue issues, this weird constant headache (everything I've seen says its a stress headache but it comes with this sound of like a kinked hose running down the back of my neck) Ive had a mild arrythmia for the last 6 months or so (I'm on metoprolol for it), I've had what feels like shortness of breath for a while (probably 3 months), among a few others. \n\nso heres where the issue lies, I have a crippling fear of death, I live with my parents, and I live in Oklahoma. There are no real good doctors here, and even if there were I simply am unable to convince my parents to allow me to actually see a doctor within a reasonable time frame. For the last couple days my leg has hurt and given the arrythmia (which has no real cause according to the kinda crappy cardiologist I have had a few appointments with) and given the shortness of breath really makes me worry about an embolism of some sort, the issue is ive been to the doctor to discuss my problems (from the sleep issue which resulted in a cpap that has done absolutely nothing to help me, to an issue where Id wake up and fall asleep into near constant sleep paralysis.) and rarely if ever come out with any help, ya know theyll take my temperature and blood pressure and listen to my lungs but never really do any actual diagnosing. I think this is mainly an Oklahoma problem but when I bring these problems up to my parents they just say I should take some ibuprofen and a shower. Ive heard all my life that if you think something's wrong you should see a doctor but Im stuck in a position where seeing a doctor would be futile and my parents refuse to actually take me anyway so I just sit here completely anxious and lie awake at night terrified of sleeping. Anyone got any advice?", "post_id": "e4rutl"}, {"question": "Anyone in Durham or Chapel Hill NC that wants to go shoot me a message.", "comment": "I know that /stopdrinking is not about AA.  \n\nI will be 10 years sober later this month and I am one of the people that was ADAMANTLY against going to AA.  Once I got humble enough, I did, and it was what got me help.\n\nIt isn't for anyone, I know.\n\nBut for a lot of people (me included) the problem is not having someone to go to that first meeting with you or not know how to find a meeting or what to do. It's intimidating and humiliating for many.\n\nI read posts here and think, \"if they were local I would take them to my homegroup.\"  \n\nIs this kind of thing possible? Is there another subreddit where people can help others who are local?  Of course there are safety concerns, etc, but we all just have to be careful.\n\nJust a thought, thanks all.", "post_id": "2a09vo"}, {"question": "You may have to try different methods of studying to figure out what works best for you. Here's a big list, try whatever you think would work. Personally I never really needed to study outside of class much in high school so when I went to college it was a BIG shock that I couldn't just... remember stuff! I had to learn the hard way how to study.\n\nI'd recommend always taking notes in class, then taking the time (at least 1 hour per week per class) to review those notes, do any textbook reading, work on any homework, and actually REWRITE notes when I could. When I did that I didn't just copy, I would either go through and highlight or bold key words and vocab, write it cleaner and more organized, group similar ideas together, and go back to the textbook for ideas that were new or complex. \n\nI also always hand-write notes in class (the act of physically writing can help you focus and remember), but then sometimes type up a more organized outline. Having to rearrange things forces you to interact with what you actually wrote down.\n\nFor memorizing things I made flash cards. I work better with physical ones but there are apps like Quizlet that let you make some online or on your phone. \n\nIf you're an auditory learner, ask if you can record the lecture and listen to it again later. I had one prof actually upload her lectures online like podcasts. Those are good to listen to while driving or doing something else. \n\nAlso get a study buddy!! Your college probably has a tutoring center, or talk to a classmate or roommate or friend to study with you. \n\nAlso also DON'T STUDY WHERE YOU SLEEP/CHILL. I can't study in front of my computer at home because my brain thinks its internet time so I distract myself easily. Go somewhere where your ONLY purpose of being there is to study. Library, coffee shop, whatever. If you can't leave your building at least sit in another room or something. \n\nThe most important thing is that you actually make time to study and STICK TO IT. Put it on your calendar, and even if you don't have homework or its an easy week in class, study anyway or at least use that time to work on other things.", "comment": "Hey everyone! I just started college and since high school I've had a hard time concetrating and studying, does anyone have any tips?", "post_id": "eq3bux"}, {"question": "Well done. ", "comment": "My son turned 21 tonight. Probably 50 people at the house with more alcohol than I\u2019ve ever seen. Not a sip even after about 100 offers. \u201cCome on, your son only turns 21 once.\u201d  \u201cNo thanks,\u201d over and over again.  I\u2019m exhausted. Good night. ", "post_id": "8itb2f"}, {"question": "This always helps when I feel like dying: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndsB37KUAso](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndsB37KUAso)", "comment": "Even if my life is going good, I always have this impulsive thought of suicide. At random times I just say \"I really wanna kill myself\".\n\nIt's like suicidal thoughts linger round my mind eternally.", "post_id": "emfo3o"}, {"question": "You know what I think? I think that this means that you have the potential to love someone like this again, might not be her, but you definitely seem like you have a lot of love to give. I've felt similarly in the past, but you might be surprised at how deeply and passionately you can feel again. It's scary, yes, but doable. ", "comment": "I was in love with someone once, first time in my life I felt truely and deeply connected.\n\nUnfortunately it came to an end, but looking back and all that's happened since then, I still love her.\n\nI don't know what to think or do really, because it was 2 years ago when we last saw each other.\n\nShe ended the relationship. She never said why, she never explained anything. She just walked away. My Hope, my sunshine, my strength, all the things she had given me, that I struggled with, that's all gone now.\n\nI look back sometimes and smile, because I remember how wonderful it was.\n\nBut most of the time I fell depressed and lost, like I lost the most valuable thing I had ever been given.\n\nMost of the time I don't even think about her, she's a 2nd thought that's been placed on the bookshelf to get dusty and lay forgotten. But mentally I'll walk by that bookshelf of memories and see her story with me there. \n\nIt hurts, more than I had ever imagined. I still love her, She was wonderful to me the entire time, right up until the end.\n\nShe wanted to say friends afterward, but after a few months, I had to tell her no and cut her out of my life, because she was killing me still being around.\n\nWish I could never remember her ever again, I'd be so much happier.\n\nI'm trying to date a guy right now, sorta. But some of the things he does reminds me of the girl I once loved.\n\nShouldn't it be that a new person brings new horizons and memories? I don't want to be reminded of her when he's being kind and gentle to me.\n\nI try hard to look back at her and I as a time in my life that I enjoyed and became a better person, but try as I might, the reality of what happened afterwards is constantly here.\n\nI got really sick, stress caused a lot of health issues, my bipolar depression and manic became unbearable, I relapsed back into cutting. And worst of all the stress built up and I had a stroke. \n\nSo sometimes I sit here in my quiet appartment, and try to not think about the one truely joyous time in my life as something negative that it ended.\n\nI still love her, I'm keeping the promise she made me agree too when she ended it.\n\nI'm still here Hope, I'm alive and waiting, I've made it out of that horrible place I ended up in. I'm safe and sound now, but I wonder if that matters to you anymore. I promised you I would, but where are you?\n\nI still love her, and I wish it'd all just go away.", "post_id": "28nguk"}, {"question": "It sounds like you could use support around exploring sexuality in a healthy, non-judgmental, guilt-free way. There is no reason why porn can't be a part of a healthy sex life if done so reasonably. If you're watching porn instead of working, can't function without it etc. then you have a problem. But if you have something that you enjoy - enjoy it. Plenty of men masturbate and watch porn AND are in relationships. And plenty of men have depression and anxiety and are in relationships. You might benefit from seeing a therapist for support and helping you build up your confidence. ", "comment": "I've been attempting to give up porn for two years now.  Longest streak was 120 days.   Although I'm starting to have my doubts, if it's as unhealthy as Christians and nofap supporters make it out to be.  It's kind of freaky how they seem to blame most of there problems on porn.\n\nI have some dignoised mental problems such as anxiety and depression like symptoms.  So I find socialising hard and dating an nearly impossible task.  I'm 27 and I heavily doubt I will find a girlfriend because of my shyness and mental condition.\n\nI guess they advice I'm seeking is that do you guys think I will be happier if I continue to give up porn and masterbation, if I will most likely live the rest of my life alone without a partner?", "post_id": "72x7aa"}, {"question": "So what did you end up doing, when is it arriving, and what kind of box is it in? Asking out of pure curiosity. ", "comment": "So, I live in a small apartment building only a handful of units and their's a dirty no good mail thief. Our shared mailbox has a hole were the lock used to be, so anyone can grab your mail. The management is pretty much nonexistent and hasn't done a damn thing, same goes for USPS. What are some clever ways to catch this POS and put an end to it? I was thinking of getting one of those glitter bombs mailed to my house, or putting something (that won't injury them) in an empty Amazon box and just leaving it at the bottom of the steps. Then, just wait for them to open it and hopefully catch them. ", "post_id": "74yt83"}, {"question": "It may or may not ever happen, depending on the medication and the side effect. Primidone is a barbiturate, and barbiturates are sedating by their primary CNS depressant effects. I would say to give it at least a week, but I have no real evidence to back that up. Depending on just how low your blood pressure runs and whether you have any symptoms from it, a beta blocker might still be a possibility, although causing hypotension can also make you feel tired.\n\nThere are beta blockers that are more BP-neutral, but the mechanism behind that likely would also make them ineffective for essential tremor. I don't know much about it, though; that might be a question for your doctor.", "comment": "Female, 48, 5'1\", 138lbs\n\nMeds:  Wellbutrin 300mg, Trazodone 100mg\n\nNon smoker, no alcohol\n\nI was started on Primidone 2 days ago,  50mg twice a day for essential tremor.  Doctor originally discussed beta blocker but my BP is normally on the low end and he went with Primidone.  I noticed improvement after second dose and I'm very pleased.  Question is how long does it normally take to adjust to a new medication?  I'm unusually tired and worried how this will affect me at work. ", "post_id": "92ob0o"}, {"question": "If TSH and T4 are normal than now, a \"low normal\" T3 is not particularly meaningful; even a truly low T3 would not be consistent with hypothyroidism in that picture. You may have symptoms consistent with hypothyroidism, but hypothyroidism symptoms are quite nonspecific, and in this case the cause does not appear to be thyroid-related.", "comment": "25, Asian male. 5'7 140lbs. No drugs, no alcohol, non-smoker, totally clean. No medication but I do occasionally take multivitamins.  I have some what seem to be thyroid issue symptoms. Got my blood tested and TSH and T4 are within the middle of the reference range, but my T3 is 3.2 out of 3.1-6.2 pmol/L. The doctor said I'm fine (assuming because the number isn't flagged because it's within range), but shouldn't it be a cause for concern that I'm almost hitting the bottom of the reference range? I mean, if I do another blood test, it may very well be outside the range, or if I did a blood test again at another lab, the ref range there could be different. I'm dealing with symptoms but it seems like I need to chase these numbers to legitimize my issues for the doctor.", "post_id": "9dytfs"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve been there too.  Despite my best efforts I couldn\u2019t make myself eat.   My anxiety comes and goes in waves and only say it\u2019s most extreme levels does my appetite die.   I was able to drink though.  Maybe drinking protein shakes or something related might be helpful?", "comment": "Hello,\n\nSo as of recently I have been struggling to eat. It all stemmed from a few weeks ago when I was going to go out to breakfast with my girlfriend (now ex girlfriend). I woke up and was hungry but didn't want to eat because I did not want to not eat when I went out for breakfast. The whole way there I was feeling super hungry and thirsty as well as very anxious. I did not end up going to breakfast, instead just went home and tried to eat but could not eat anything. I had a few bites of cereal and after that day I have had no appetite and eating seems to be very hard. I am constantly worrying about being able to eat and having anxiety over not being full enough. I am eating regularly but I have to force myself to eat. They're just small meals (a few waffles with milk, 1 or 2 PB&J sandwiches, bagels) and I am making sure I am drinking water. I eat about every 2 or 3 hours but if I don't I start to feel nauseous. I am constantly focusing on if I am full or need to eat more and worrying about when I will have to eat next. I literally cannot do anything else because that is all I think about.\n\nI just went back on Lexapro 5mg about 4 days ago (today is my 4th day) but I have not really noticed any changes. I am going to give it time and see if it works, if not I will have to up my dosage. I have been on it before when I was a teenager but now I am in my very early 20's. I also went and got my blood work done and just this morning my doctor called me and told me everything is just fine so I know nothing is physically wrong with me. I am going next Thursday to see a therapist as well and my GP in about a month for a checkup.\n\nHas anyone dealt with this or something similar? If so, what did you do to overcome this? I am looking for anything useful to try. I have been trying to research the issue but haven't really found much. The only thing I have seen is people meditating or exercising beforehand, or drinking smoothies and protein shakes (which I am going to try). Like I said, I am looking for any tips or success stories to make me feel more hopeful. I am starting to think negative and worry that I will never be able to get over this.", "post_id": "aw8dc1"}, {"question": "Thinking more about this, one very rare possibility is partial seizure. Most first-time seizures without cause don\u2019t recur, so if it doesn\u2019t happen again there\u2019s only speculation, but if it does there\u2019s a small possibility that focal epileptic activity in the visual center of the brain causes brief blindness. A neurologist could help with that evaluation. The good news for they \u201czebra\u201d rare problem is that antiepileptic medications seem effective from the small literature I could fine.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gpdwvf"}, {"question": "I don\u2019t think anyone is ever \u2018cured\u2019 from their mental illness. If people are putting their stock into something outside of themselves that can be lost or leave, then it will eventually catch back up to them. I think it takes daily self care and managing as things come up. I myself have gotten to a place, after doing a substantial about of work, where I do find happiness and joy in most days, even though I\u2019ve always battled anxiety and depression. I still get my bad flare ups, but I\u2019m better at recognizing the preemptive signs and then taking really good care of myself during those times. I practice more coping skills during those times, as well as reach out to loved ones letting them know I\u2019m in more of a down place and I may be more flaky as a result, and also asking certain people to check in on me when they can. Truly it\u2019s up to us to take control of our emotional and mental well-being. No one else can do it for us. They can help us feel safe enough to make changes perhaps, but they can\u2019t cure us.", "comment": "Just saw a post that said something like \"after years of PTSD and depression, I'm finally happy. my SO does this and this...\"\n\nI'm not bitter, I just want to know how that happened. I'm not expecting my SO to change my mental health, so I'm not sure what the SO has to do with it.\n\nsomeone explain, I am confusion", "post_id": "ak1v0w"}, {"question": "There's no need to remove all your rewards at once. Maybe get something else you can sip on or take a bite of. Drinking a lot of water also reduces drinking impulses. Just because you decided to not drink today doesn't mean you should be just white knuckling it. ", "comment": "I just got done working, and I have to immediately switch gears and get working on my thesis draft, due tomorrow night. Normally this is about the time that I'd mosey into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine, as a treat for getting this far in the day and an incentive to get through the remaining several hours of work I still have to do. I don't really want a drink, but I want *something.*\n\n I think I want to be distracted, or rewarded, or both, because I am incredibly stressed out. If it's not my new job, it's graduate school. And when it's not that, it's the paralyzing anxiety of buying my first house.  I am so incredibly grateful for where I'm at in life, but jeez, there's a lot going on right now. What is it about me that I always take on these big life changes or challenges all at once? What is it about this time of day that makes a drink sound so pleasant when I know damn well it's not going to fix anything? ", "post_id": "4kx4ln"}, {"question": "Thank you for the update. As is always the case with medical updates, I'll lock it. Good luck to you in your recovery!", "comment": "Currently 26 year-old female. \n\n2 years ago I posted in this group and some nice people responded. If anyone cares for an update!\n\nAfter my post I ended up going to the hospital where they admitted me as I went into septic shock. I was hospitalized for weeks. My lung had collapsed and I was on oxygen. After spending 10 months in and out of doctors offices I was diagnosed with lupus. For two years I have been bedridden. I was suppose to start law school that fall that I was diagnosed. I went from working 80 hours a week to not being able to sit up without pain. \n\nRight before this virus I was finally working again (only part time unfortunately), feeling a bit better, getting stronger, being able to exercise more etc. \nI hope I get through the next few months virus free so I can keep trying to get my life back. \n\nThanks so much for your help docs!", "post_id": "frmu50"}, {"question": "That's a low heart rate, but not unheard of during sleep, especially with an opioid. Your heart rate will also be lower generally, awake or asleep, if you're particularly fit \\(endurance athletes, for example\\). When you wake up your heart rate also increases normally, and if you wake up and feel worried about your heart it can definitely jump. What you describe sounds like a fairly normal situation.", "comment": "20, 130lbs, 5'8\" Male, white \n\nCurrent meds: Levothyroxine, past meds, Adderall \n\nA few weeks ago I had an appendectomy but when I was in the hospital and they gave me morphine in my arm, I instantly nodded out and was in and out of sleep but I kept waking up enough because the heart monitor would start beeping. My heart rate would be around 38-45 and it would instantly shoot up to 70-80 before I'd pass out again. I didn't like how the morphine made me feel but is there any possible reason or this completely normal? I know opiates tend to slow your heart rate but it seemed odd to me at the time.", "post_id": "8ffbhw"}, {"question": "I read your story and the thing that keeps wrenching at my chest is that you're in this alone.  You absolutely can't do it alone.\n\nI know it smacks of cliche, but we absolutely need each other in times like this.  Even if you don't want to do AA right now...please understand that community/socialization/brotherhood/sisterhood/whateverhood is going to be the only way to change (and sustain it!) in the long run.\n\nIn the meantime, I would focus on being as honest with yourself and with your therapist as you possibly can.  She's not there to judge; you may in fact be judging yourself and she can help you recognize that and identify what you can do to give yourself some peace.", "comment": "I keep on choosing getting blackout drunk over doing anything else.\n\nIt'll be the evening.  I'll want to go running.  I'll want to workout.  I'll want to go to the bar or gym and try to flirt with girls.  I'll wish I was hanging out with my friends.  But I end up choosing drinking a shit load and passing out for 10 hours instead.  I blew off so many potentially fun invitations so I can get wasted by myself.  I've been really depressed lately...  bad breakup and it still kinda messes me up.  Sometimes if I'm really depressed I don't even wait until the evening.  The earliest so far has been 11 am.\n\nI want to change, but I don't know how :/  I want to be the person I used to be.  The charismatic, successful, interesting, handsome, strong guy with a nice body that did good things for other people.  Now I'm just a chubby guy with bags under his eyes that can only think of how much better I can be every time I talk to a woman.\n\nI saw a therapist a while ago for other issues, but she seemed interested in talking to me again about my habits.  At first I thought \"fuck you, I'm happy like this\".  Every day I realize more and more that I'm not.  I hope she can help me.  I guess I realize I have to help myself.  But every time I relive a painful memory, it seems like the only thing I can do is take another shot.\n\nI'm sorry.  I was just feeling really bad tonight and had to get this off my chest.  Tips or good links would be really appreciated.", "post_id": "1aduht"}, {"question": "Everyone's good at something. EVERYONE. What are YOU good at? So, school isn't your thing... It was a learning experience. I know it seems dark and the end of the world, but school really isn't the be all and end all of everything.  PLENTY of people achieve success in life without ever going to school, and you can too, I promise.  Also, there's no time limit on school... If you decide to do something else with your life -- like work with your hands? Work creatively? Become an entrepreneur?-- there's nothing in the world that says you can't go back to college in 5,10,20+ years if you want. You can achieve a lot, honest! ", "comment": "Today was suppose to be an exam day. I couldn't bring myself to study even though I didn't forget. I'm skipping all my classes, I'm going to fail ever single one of them this time. This is the last time I can take my math course because you can't retake courses you fail three times. I just fucking suck at life. I don't have any excuse other than just being worthless. I thought I was going to get out of it this semester, but I failed. I've been seeing the school therapist, but I can't anymore because budget cuts. I really wanted to get better I really did. ", "post_id": "1exvi8"}, {"question": "talk to him and your daughter and explain it's your role", "comment": "I just found out My ex husbands girlfriend got my daughter a dress for her first homecoming dance and is doing her hair and make up, I feel lost, angry and hurt and completely taken out of the picture!!!!! What do I do and say?????", "post_id": "6ybtla"}, {"question": "Try jorunialjng when you're upset and bring it in to show your therapist next time. It's very common to lose track or not have things that have occurred fresh in your mind for therapy. There are also a lot of good mental health apps that could help slow you down and reduce some of what sounds like impulsivity in social interactions (which is very common with anxiety). ", "comment": "So I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, but i think I have something else too. I don't know if posting on here will actually help but having somewhere to record it would be nice, because due to these problems, i have a hard time relaying it back to my therapist.\n\nI act like someone I'm not, It's me but I'm lying about how I'm feeling or lying about what I think and acting like someone else but I don't even know I'm doing it. I say things just to make people happy and will genuinely believe what I'm saying, but I'll think back on it later and think \"Why the hell did I say that?\"\nI remember when I do it, clear as day, and I know it's me, but I'm always contradicting myself and changing myself and doing things just to get certain reactions and I don't even _know_ i'm doing it. It took someone telling me to finally figure it out.\n\nAnd when my therapist asks me what's wrong, I don't know what to say, because I genuinely believe nothing. But so many things are wrong, so many things happen, all the time, yet for some reason for that specific hour I'll believe that I'm fine and forget everything I was meaning to tell her.\n\nFeels like everything I do is to get a 'correct' response.\n\nWhat is this? Is it normal? Is it just social anxiety? I do it even when I'm not anxious, it's something I don't even notice I'm doing. I'll be completely fine, not tense, not anxious, but I'll act completely like someone else and have all of that \"person's\" intentions and interests. I don't even know which version is actually my default to be honest.", "post_id": "72xa3z"}, {"question": "Lol I became a psychologist and channelled it. ;)", "comment": "I am currently in the middle of a 3 year obsession with psychology, personality disorders, narcissism/Psychopathy and personality theories like MBTI. It\u2019s all my brain thinks about. It is completely all consuming. \n\nMy brain will say things like you are a narcissist, have ADHD and are a psychopath. It will completely lose itself in self-diagnosis. It will be all I think about. I\u2019ll try to be assessing if the person I am talking to is a narcissist. Or analyse past behaviour to see signs of psychopathy or Narcissism or ADHD. I will constantly gaslight myself. Oh do I have it or not? It will be extremely difficult to pin it down. It will be constantly going off in my head. I will become suspicious of people. I will be watching movies and trying to assess if the main character is a narcissist. It will just not stop. I will be constantly analysing my past to see if I can fit any labels on it. I have seen multiple psychologists and they have all told me I don\u2019t have it. In short psychology is all I think about. I just want closure on what I have. I will see everything as a diagnosis. It will just not stop. I\u2019ll read articles on psychology. I\u2019ll watch videos of people who have my personality style to see if I can copy them to become successful. All I will talk about is Narcissism or ADHD. I\u2019ve spent 3 years down this rabbit hole waking up each day to think oh maybe I\u2019ll figure this out now. It will be very difficult. I speak to therapists and they all unanimously say that I\u2019m fooling myself. \n\nI can\u2019t stop diagnosing my family members and others. I will put labels on people. I will come up \nWith new ways of diagnosing myself daily. I will watch or read some articles and then regurgitate them to my therapist. I\u2019ll think I have finally solved the puzzle of my personality and it will just be disappointing. I can\u2019t control my brain. Originally I got into psychology to figure myself out and then pick a career on that. I don\u2019t know what to do. I\u2019m stuck going around in circles. It is never ending. I cannot stop. Help.", "post_id": "i4pmh4"}, {"question": "Also a therapist, and have been in therapy over the years myself. You can and will get better! You don\u2019t have to suffer. Doing my own therapy and having therapists who were dedicated to helping me is what inspired me to become a therapist and give back in a meaningful way.\n\nI wish you the best of luck! ", "comment": "After so many years of self doubting, and my mom telling me it was a waste of time and money, that mental illnesses aren't real and that they're \"just a phase\", today I was able to go and talk to my school's therapist, thanks to a little push from my friends.\n\nI still feel as if I'm dreaming and this is all just my imagination, I never thought I would ever be able to talk to somebody about my issues, and I'm so glad I did.\n\nShe told me to go back next week, and that she wants us to work together in getting me better.\n\nI'm extremely excited! I finally did it!!! This is the first step on my journey to a healthier life!!!", "post_id": "atdqhj"}, {"question": "Amen, friend. 16mos sober and this was perfect for me right now. Thank you", "comment": "Im physically fit. Im productive. MY sons love n respect me. I eat well. Im on point at work. I look at the world in a calm positive light. I handle challenges and set backs with matter of fact determination. I choose how i react. ALL of this was OUT OF REACH before i ditched booze. All of these improvements n upgrades in my life are constructed n predicated atop a foundation of NOT drinking. If i were to take a sip of the poison then my foundation would give way and all I've built/am building would come crashing down! Therefore IWNDWYT \ud83d\udc4a", "post_id": "aqjo9m"}, {"question": "I would say the work can be challenging and perhaps there might be times therapists might feel annoyed because they\u2019re frustrated that they aren\u2019t feeling effective. I think it is more about the therapists\u2019 own feelings of being ineffective which is frustrating, not actually being annoyed with the client.  The OCD (as a separate from the person thing) is annoying as I would imagine it is for you as well when you\u2019re struggling with it, but you\u2019re not at all annoying as a person. Does that makes sense?  \n\nThe take away: \n\n1) it\u2019s not you it\u2019s them and their frustration\n\n2) The client isn\u2019t annoying and the OCD can be annoying for the client too", "comment": "I was reading a study on therapists and OCD and a lot of them in the study thought so and reading that made me so paranoid bc I worry so much about that. I always feel like I'm annoying my therapist/ psychiatrist bc I'm always apologizing and needing reassurance and worrying I'm answering questions wrong.", "post_id": "efroyl"}, {"question": "Well, it depends a little bit on the definition of abuse in the state in which you live. Some states define child abuse only as being possible from someone expected to protect them. \n\n\nHowever, in general, the answer would be yes, if you are a minor and been abused the therapist would be required to report this.  It does not, however, have to be reported to your parent. But I would suggest generally that is probably a good idea. ", "comment": "This may seem like a stupid question to ask, I know. I\u2019m 14 and I\u2019ve been through abuse when I was in middle school. (3 years ago) I\u2019ve never told anyone I personally know before, and don\u2019t want to tell my mom. If I were to tell a therapist about my history of abuse, by law, would they have to break confidentiality to my mom or anyone else? I\u2019m extremely paranoid about this and just want to know what\u2019ll happen beforehand so I can decide if I really do want to talk to a therapist about it. ", "post_id": "a6waor"}, {"question": "frequent yelling is emotional abuse", "comment": "I grew up in a house full of women. No male in the picture; dad left far before I was born. That being said I'm naturally used to being yelled at a lot for any of many reasons, but I figured moving out was probably one of the cut off points for that. Turns out I was wrong. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, and aside from some light arguments things have been going very well. Lattely though things have been rough for us. We were victims of Hurricane Harvey and had to move up to PA where her parents live. I'm not really bothered by it at all and she doesn't seem to be but there was a small issue I had just before we left and it was that she'd overreact to small things and yell at me. Example; this morning we were going to a garage sale and she asked me to turn on the GPS, I said \"You need the GPS to get there? I don't think you have to make any turns until the very end it's a straight shot\" and in return she yells at me that she needs it because she could easily miss the turn and that I should stop \"yelling at her\" about it. Now one thing I should mention, I never yell. I've been yelled at too much and I hate loud noises so I don't raise my voice at all. We both agree on that but I'm told that the \"way I say it sounds like I'm scolding a child\". \n\nMy question is what should I do about this, how can I handle being yelled at all the time for small stuff like that without putting it to the back of my head and blowing up one day?", "post_id": "74vgbz"}, {"question": "Acute stress reaction. Normal at present.", "comment": "Yesterday I was on a very casual cycle ride with two of my closest friends - we were simply headed to a nearby forest to chill and climb trees etc. When in the forest my friend's wheel flew off when cycling at a high speed and he was pulled at an incredible pace to the floor where he directly hit his mouth on the floor / rocks. This was the event but it's what happened next that I cannot forget.\n\nI saw him go down, look to my other friend and expect him to get up and laugh it off like usual - our group has never had a serious crash before. But instead I saw him screaming, rolling on his side with his face covered in blood and his disfigured mouth and lips. It was obvious that his mouth was filled with blood and that he lost numerous teeth and he kept on doing this awful wail. It was the first time I've seen an awful injury and the first time I've had to call an ambulance with my friend, flag down local walkers and get a Medkit for him. \n\nI felt completely helpless - I was knelt there in front of him with an open Medkit scrabbling around with no motives or anything. I didn't know how to help him especially as the injury was his mouth. Throughout the whole thing he was whimpering and wailing - I can still fucking hear it as I'm sat here typing it. He was in shock and that was possibly the biggest impact of all for me - a friend I've known since I was 10; and he didn't know the date, his location, what happened and kept on asking for his mum. It was the same face with 0 knowledge of anything, he might not have known who me and my friend were. \n\nSo far it's been a night since the event and I've been completely sleepless. I've been fading in and out of sleep but I get extremely vivid dreams of the event and reliving it, it fucking sucks. I was out having a curry with family and friends and I felt myself zoning out just staring at my food and thinking about what happened and reimagining it. I don't know if this is normal for a traumatic event like this, and especially how near the event was, but I really don't feel the same afterwards and have a awful feeling that I won't ever feel the same. Can I make myself go cycling or even return to the place - I dread it. I hate to think what my mate has to go through and the medical complications he will face.\n\nThank you for your time, and I would really appreciate some tips or advice.", "post_id": "54d2u7"}, {"question": "2 weeks is too short to declare the medication ineffective. It can take up to 6-8 weeks to have any noticeable positive effect. But even if none of those medications work for you, there are SO many more. There are several other SSRIs (the class of medication that Effexor and Lexapro belong to). There are tetracyclics, tricyclics, and MAOIs--these are all types of antidepressants. And of course there's therapy.", "comment": "I've taken each for at least 3 weeks with zero effect. The doc said I should feel something within 2 weeks. I feel like I'm beyond help at this point. I'm worried that I'll never be happy and I'm failing my wife and kids.\n\nHas anyone experience this? Is 2 weeks too short? I'm about to stop my wellbutrin - should I keep going? Feeling really stuck.", "post_id": "3uq89n"}, {"question": "That's sad. But she has to be true to herself, so you'll have to regroup and start dating again down the road. Don't take it personally; it has nothing to do with you.", "comment": "So the girl that I've liked for years and i finally got into a relationship and as quick as it started it was over and she ended up deciding she was a lesbian. It hurt alot, not sure how to cope with it and its got me feeling like shit. ", "post_id": "6e82s1"}, {"question": "My guess is that he took that reaction as rejection and felt embarrassed for going about showing you how he felt in that way (which to be honest, is a bit of a creep move given you weren't flirting with him or giving him any signals this would be okay).\n\nIf you don't feel the same way than that was the perfect reaction albeit a reserved on.  You could have just been like \"whoah there buddy!  We're friends but I don't think of you that way.\"\n\nIf you are interested in him, still nothing wrong with what you did given his approach, just explain to him that you were surprised and in the future, you'd like for there to be some conversation around this sort of thing.", "comment": "I was really good friends with this guy. We hung out a lot but never did anything sexual or anything like that. A couple months after meeting and hanging out with him I had won a disc golf tournament and he gave me a hug and then leaned in and kissed me for the first time. I looked at him shocked and covered my mouth. He started saying he was sorry and walked away embarrassed. I wasn't mad that he kissed me I was just shocked because I didn't expect it. What do you think I should have done?", "post_id": "f3c8do"}, {"question": "Yep, I have elevated DHEA-S but normal testosterone (free and total), and a PCOS diagnosis. ", "comment": "So my diagnosis a while back was in contention. One doctor diagnosed me because of elevated DHEA and minutely high A1c. My home GP disagreed because my testosterone levels weren't elevated at all - free, calcium bound, or total. Anyone else is a similar boat? Elevated DHEA but normal testosterone?", "post_id": "424877"}, {"question": "Congratulations! I know that feeling to finally have someone really listen to you and get I right. Same thing happened to me this year and it has changed my life. I am excited for you!", "comment": "The way that guy spoke to me was the most dignified talk I've had about my ADD in my life. Between friends and family making fun of me, to my old pediatric md claiming I just wanted adderall, I felt like I was definitely mentally off, yet still a human being\n\nGot prescribed adderall XR, gonna see how work goes tomorrow (am an RN, you can see how hard my day to day is), but I feel everything might just be, for once, ok", "post_id": "4zvixw"}, {"question": "Contribute more positive things. \n\nComplaining about things is easy, so a lot of people do it, but it rarely contributes anything good or useful. \n\nFor some reason, on the internet, there's a perception among some that if you genuinely enjoy something, it renders you vulnerable. That it's \"smarter\" or somehow better to hate on things because that elevates you above those things. Maybe it gives some insecure people a sense of control, I don't know. \n\nHeck, I wish I knew why there is so much negativity on the internet. I suspect it has to do with real-world frustrations boiling over and people are looking for an outlet. unfortunately many lack the perspective to realize that a year, a month, even a day from now their complaints will not matter; the only thing it did was make the internet a slightly more unpleasant place. \n\nPositive contributions on the other hand, those DO matter. Imagine holding a conversation with someone else who enjoys the things you enjoy, and you can talk about how much joy those things brought you - this brings even more joy into the world as you recall it. \n\nI'm sorry you got a negative reaction. Please don't stop bringing positive things to the conversation. The world sorely needs that.", "comment": "I made just one post on a subreddit about how I missed the old ways of a game I play. I was given comments of \"this is spam\", \"nobody cares\", and even people asking me why I'm so desperate for karma. I'm hurt by these people. Not even one person left anything nice to say, I even defended myself, so I hit them back, my post got removed for \"harrassment\". I see all these great people on reddit, with wonderful ideas, that even I have myself. Why is it when I try to contribute, that I'm the bad guy? Most importantly, how do I deal with rejection from the reddit community?", "post_id": "c8kg2y"}, {"question": "It\u2019s pretty much guaranteed your parents play a role in developing those patterns. Of course there also tends to be a certain disposition.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "a019y6"}, {"question": "Assertiveness skills such as those provided by centre for clinical interventions ( free resources), may help you to communicate through angry feelings in an assertive way.", "comment": "I am getting some therapy for my anxiety issues. My therapist gave me some sheets for anxiety. The problem is that those sheets dont fit into my other issues: Anger and oversensitivty. She said she wants to focus all her efforts in the upcoming sessions to Anxiety. And then somewhere down the line we can look at other issues.\n\nI was thinking in the meantime I can try to manage these issues by myself because I need some way to cope.\n\n1. Anger: I get very angry very quickly. It raises my blood pressure and its pretty explosive. It can be based on something that happened in the past or something in the present(someone treats me badly, someone doesnt listen to me, someone is disrespectful etc.)\n\n2. Sensitivty: I am very sensitive and get hurt really easily. If something racist happens or even if someone is mean to me on reddit I feel bad for several hours. If a racist incident happens I feel bad for several days afterwards. A few weeks ago I overheard someone say that I look disgusting and probably smell like curry.\n\nI searched online and saw there were several sheets for each issues. I was wondering if someone with similar issues could guide me to some good sheets for these issues.", "post_id": "i43mhj"}, {"question": "It all depends on what insurance you have.  For most commercial insurance plans in the United States, you don't need a referral to see a therapist.  You can either contact your insurance member services (usually a number on the back of your card) to find therapists in your area covered by your insurance, or you can go to psychologytoday.com and search for therapists in your area that take your insurance.  If you provide them with your insurance information over the phone, they should be able to let you know if they take it and/or if you need a referral.", "comment": "I have basic health care and need to see a therapist for depression and anxiety do I go to my gm and ask for a referral or is mental health a separate case?", "post_id": "duvs2d"}, {"question": "You have not given us a picture or enough description to be helpful.\n\nPlease reread rule #1 on what is required for a sufficient submission, but in this case a full description of whatever is on your leg is the only way we can have any idea what is going on.", "comment": "hello i am a 14 year old male and i had a red button on my left leg for about 2 months i think, and im not sure if its normal because it wouldn't stay that long and im getting concerned, can you guys help me", "post_id": "e0hnvl"}, {"question": "It depends much on the reason for the evaluation. The professional will likely start there and ask you about it.", "comment": "I\u2019m freaking out and I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen, am I going to be hospitalized? Can I go back to school? I\u2019m so scared", "post_id": "b46bru"}, {"question": "I'm a firm believer that if you talk to people and get to know them, you can find that you have at least one thing in common with anyone.  Figure out what you have in common with your colleagues and talk about that.  \n\n\nAlso, if you've never really been into sports, give it a shot.  You might actually enjoy watching a particular sport or following a team.  If you like video games, try out a few sports games.  It's a great way to get to learn the rules of a sport and some of the basics while also doing something you enjoy.\n\n\nFor instance, growing up hockey was my favorite sport.  I played it, watched it, obsessed over it.  Today, football is probably my favorite sport.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that my freshman year college roommate who essentially became one of my best lifelong friends and I used to play Madden ALL THE TIME our freshman year.  It taught me a lot about the intricacies of the sport and watching it became a hell of a lot more exciting.  ", "comment": "I just started at this office job. Most of the team are young, athletic fratty guys who joke with each other a lot. There's one middle-aged lady. I grew up a loner and never really hung out with guys. I've never been good at sports, I'm not very witty, and I don't know how to fit into the team. I feel like I just do my work and stand off to the side.\n\nIf there's like a manual on how to be a guy, I'd LOVE to have it", "post_id": "900rym"}, {"question": "i would tell her how you feel and hope you're both mature enough to remain best friends if she doesn't feel the same way.", "comment": "I'm (20/M) and I like this girl (21/F) a lot. Basically, I've known her since my first year in college and we only got closer as friends last year, However, we've gotten VERY close. She considers me her best guy friend by a mile.\n\nShe's intelligent, beautiful and has a dynamic personality. I really can't stop thinking about her each and every day, and I would consider myself humbled to be with a girl like her. I always find myself blushing and trying not to smile when I'm around her, and I sound like an idiot sometimes because the words don't come out right, and I consider myself as articulate as they come. She's had relationship issues in the past, and her trust in guys has been wavering because of her experience, but she seems to be genuinely comfortable and happy when I'm around her, and I feel the same, perhaps to a greater extent. I haven't been in a relationship or so much as kissed someone lol.\n\nMy problem is that I want to tell her my true feelings about her (and I'd be completely okay if we remained close friends), but I don't want to run the risk of making things awkward between us if she doesn't feel the same way. She is truly my best friend, and if things were to change for the worse by doing so, then the only person I know who feels comfortable with me in her room, texts me consistently and can talk about anything could change, and I want to avoid that scenario by all means.\n\nShe hasn't told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship, and a part of me would like to think she secretly feels the same way about me, but she's hard to read sometimes. So I ask what my best move should be? We are clearly comfortable with each other, and I don't want to run the risk of losing her to someone else if she was waiting for me to make a move.  I also don't want to ruin the current relationship I have now. Thanks for any advice you can give!", "post_id": "64al4d"}, {"question": "Look into collegiate recovery communities. I'm currently enrolled in one and I was given a scholarship and in-state tuition. It's been an incredible experience thus far.", "comment": "I'm 23, been in recovery for over a year, and I am desperately ready to get back in school. I graduated high school with a 4.0 in 2008 and I've since been to a university, (some credits, some failed classes) a community college (two credits) and a technical college (no credits). I don't know if any of that really matters in this case. \n\nAs a dumb junkie, I let two loans fall into default and now I'm trying to pay them off. Actually, I'm paying the minimum oh both of them, but I think that counts for something. \n\nAnyway, I'm working two waitressing jobs and struggling to pay my bills. I said all this to ask if any of you have any information about this fabled \"junkie grant\" or any kind of financial assistance for people in recovery. (i did go to rehab) \n\nSorry if this post sounds disjointed and rambley. I'm on my phone in a mostly empty restaurant wishing I had a college education since nobody seems to be hungry today.\n\nEdit: I'm in southern Louisiana if that narrows anything down. ", "post_id": "1lhl5v"}, {"question": "if he won't change, you have a big decision to make", "comment": "As the title says, my boyfriend is doing many inconsiderate things, both in bed and in everyday life. He is just plain lazy and when I confront him about it he says that 'I should know how lazy he is by now' and no remorse or whatsoever occurs.\n\n He doesn't remember special dates (duh most of guys don't, but he doesn't do anything about them even if I remind him) as our anniversary, my birthday, my graduation. He always puts his mother and sister before me (he still lives with them). He doesn't understand he hurts me when he sends hearts and compliments to his female friends on social media. He criticizes my apperance (I'm 160cm tall and weight 63kg), especially my butt, because he likes big ones and so he thinks I should 'get one for him'. He often calls me stupid, stubborn and hard to please, while all I ever wanted from him was understanding and respect, nothing else. He lied to me plenty of times and cheated on me once, 6 months ago and I think this is where our relationship started to worsen. And while he swears he understood his mistake and would never do that again, that there is only me, I can't bring myself to believe him and he gets upset for the lack of trust I have. He doesn't understand it is due to his past behavior.\n\nAnother thing is sex. He has good days but mostly sex looks like this - I give him massages, kisses all over, oral etc and I always fullfil his wishes when he feels like doing 'this and that'. He gives me a 10-minute rushed foreplay and springs right to intercourse. Even when I ask him for a certain thing (altho it is a serious challenge for me as I'm insecure about my body and sometimes I just feel like he thinks I'm repulsive) he usually says he's going to do it later but doesn't, does it for a minute and drops it or just plain says 'but I already did that to you, c'mon'. Of course usually he comes and I don't. He often tells me he'll finish pleasing me after a quick shower, but then after that shower nothing really happens.\nI'll just add that when he has his good days, he can please me very well.\n\nIn everyday life he is fun to be with, I'm never bored and I love him, but then I feel like I am the glue of this relationship. He is even so lazy that when we sit and watch a movie or hangout or whatever, he doesn't get up to get sth he needs but only tells me to bring it to him. And of course gets upset when I refuse.\n\nI'm starting to feel very bad about myself because I am a strong woman that takes no crap from anybody, yet I let this guy turn me into someone I'm not. I don't feel like his partner, I feel like his puppet. I confronted him about it many times but he never has an answer and I don't know what else to do. I am so tired yet don't want to leave him, so I'm asking you guys for possible solutions.\n\nI'm sorry for the long post. ", "post_id": "6qngy5"}, {"question": "Try going beyond small talk and really getting to [know someone's story](http://donmilleris.com/2010/05/17/want-to-get-to-know-somebody-understand-their-story/). I think that will lead to more interesting conversations and deeper relationships to boot.", "comment": "I think the biggest problem I have is that I generally find small talk really boring and it is painful to do because it feels so in-genuine - I feel like I'm not being myself.  I also realized I'm selfish in that I don't know how to talk about things that don't interest me or relate to me. \n\nHow do I get around this?  I'm fine talking to people, not too nervous once I do it, I just don't have any inclination to continue if I feel the conversation is boring - thus I stare off awkwardly and avoid people.", "post_id": "thq05"}, {"question": "hard to walk on eggshells long term. if she asks, she has to own up to your answer.", "comment": "So the girl I've been seeing for around 5 months now has insecurities about a bunch of things, her weight, appearance in general, and 'being annoying'. I understand people have insecurities, but I feel like I can't be honest with her about these things in order to avoid hurting her feelings, and I'm not sure if this is okay.\n\nFor example, she has asked me \"do I talk too much?\" and when I responded with something like \"I feel like sometimes you get side tracked in your stories and it gets a bit long.\" She got very upset. \n\nShe has also asked me if I would prefer her if she was skinny (she is over weight), I responded stupidly by saying that 'she wasn't my ideal weight'. She instantly cried and the next day was super depressed (not sure if related or not but I think so). The only reason I said this is because she said she wouldn't date fat people, so I thought that it would be okay for me to say I prefer skinny people as well... I like her for other reasons other than her weight, like we share a lot of interests, and if we are talking physically, I think she has a gorgeous face. I don't mind her weight, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be more attracted to her if she was skinny. \n\n\nI've brought this up with her and she says that she doesn't want me to feel like I have to walk on egg shells, but she would appreciate if I was sensitive to her insecurities. I think it's good to be sensitive to peoples insecurities, but it feels weird to lie. Today she asked me if she thinks that she over eats and I just said no (which is a lie). She doesn't eat a lot, but I think for her height she could stand to eat a bit less. I know she really wants to lose weight so it feels weird lying to her about that, I'm actually steering her away from her goal.\n\ntl;dr is it okay to lie to a partner in order to avoid hurting their feelings about their insecurities? how much is okay if so? is this bad for a relationship? \n", "post_id": "6x4agr"}, {"question": "Have you gone into your mind and reset your mental alarm clock? What does your alarm clock look like? How is it reset? How does it wake you? When would you like it to wake you? Try it!", "comment": "Hey all.  So I'm at a low point in my life right now for a few reasons, not all of which are in my control.  I've been pretty good this past month about getting on with things, but there's one thing that I can't really seem to shake.  \n\nI find it impossible to get out of bed in the morning.  I currently spend about 12 hours a day in bed on average.  When I'm just awake and groggy, it just seems to be impossible to convince myself that getting up is going to improve my day in any way.  I think it is really negatively affecting my life right now.\n\nAs background, I'm a grad student, and I don't really have any responsibilities in the mornings.  I have tried many things, hiding my alarm, arranging to meet people at the gym, but so far nothing has worked.  Even if I get out of bed, I inevitably meander back, generally the temptation to go back to a carefree dreamlike state is overwhelming.\n\nI understand that I need to work on fixing the underlying causes for why I don't enjoy being awake so much, and I am trying.  But until I can, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on forcing yourself out of bed.", "post_id": "so05f"}, {"question": "Hmm. There was this brief period of time when I lost a bit of weight and my acne got way worse. This might have been because I was living abroad, though, and my diet was different as well. Not sure. ", "comment": "Please note: I haven't been officially diagnosed with PCOS but I'm about 90% sure I have it. I've always had irregular periods, excess facial hair, and acne consistent with hormonal acne. But I have an appt with an endocrinologist scheduled at the end of this month to get this shit sorted out once and for all. \n\nAlright so I've always been overweight but in my junior year of college, I gained a ridiculous amount of weight. At my heaviest, I was 250 lbs. I felt like absolute shit so I started limiting my caloric intake. I still ate terribly but just significantly less. Over the course of a year, I got my weight down to about 195. I stalled at this weight for a while and then I started experiencing all kinds of weird skin issues I've never dealt with before. I've had seborrheic dermatitis my whole life but it has always been isolated to scalp. A few months ago, it randomly spread into my ears, around my ears, on my hairline and around my eyebrows. Around the same time, I got a rash on my upper chest. Then these weird scaly brown spots appeared under my left armpit a few weeks later (these last two could be seborrheic dermatitis as well but my doc insisted the rash was a separate fungal infection...even though it sort of cleared up on its own). I've also seen worsening of body acne. I'm getting acne in places I've never had before. I had a couple pimples *under* my breasts...that's never happened before. I also developed these weird persistent red lines under my breasts. A few months ago I had a weird bump on my mons pubis. It eventually sort of popped and now I have a couple blackheads in that area. Wat. Yesterday a red bump appeared in roughly the same area. It kinda diminished today but again...wat.\n\nI've started eating better since the SD flareup. I'm doing paleo right now because I don't think I can handle how carb-restrictive keto is. I try to limit my sugar intake as best as I can; the majority of my sugar comes from fruits.\n\nSome of the issues seem to have resolved or are getting better. My facial seb derm is pretty much gone. It's still a bit visible in my ears but nowhere near as bad as it was. The brown spots under my pits (whatever the hell they are) also seem to be getting lighter. I'm down to about 178 lbs now but still it feels like everyday I'm waking up with some new skin problem. It's just like \"ooooh let's see what my body conjured up today.\" It's like a terrible game of Whac-A-Mole. You get rid of one problem only to see another two pop up in its place. Bleh this sucks.\n\nOne weird thing is that my periods seem to be getting more normal. Typically I have about 3-4 a year but I've definitely had more than that so far this year. You would think that means my hormone levels are normalizing and yet the rest of my body indicates otherwise.\n\nDon't worry, I have a physical exam scheduled with my doc (next month though ;_;) to get this all worked out but just wondering if any of you have experienced something similar. So sorry for the wall of text but thank you for reading!!\n", "post_id": "3nsn4v"}, {"question": "I think most ppl don\u2019t actually like it. Exposure is the only to combat this. Get to a good psychologist.", "comment": "I hate (Hate) talking on the phone or video chatting. Im not sure why though, can't seem to get over it, and it's gotten to the point where ive lost jobs, partners, and trust over it. Talking on the phone or over Skype just makes me nauseous  and sends me into panic mode. \n\nIs there anything i can do?", "post_id": "eh7ydt"}, {"question": "Psych counselor here: It is doubtful that mono is directly related with anxiety. However, excessive anxiety releases the stress hormone cortisol, which suppresses the immune system- making it easier for you to get sick.\n\nAs for Xanax- be very careful with that. It is intended for a few weeks MAX. Longer than that and you risk both brain damage and dependence. ", "comment": "I'm 25 I had mono this past November-January. I feel like I never fully got better. I'm overly aware of myself and have been having frequent panic attacks. I don't ever remember feeling this way prior to having mono.\nI went back to the md who dx me with mono during an attack he said it was allergies and gave me Xanax.5 I was taking them daily. I found a new physician who wants me off the meds and recommends tapering down to .25 and then to as needed. \nAnyone else with similar experience? ", "post_id": "tq56t"}, {"question": "Tertiary syphilis is treatable; neurological damage that has been done is irreversible. It doesn't sound like you have any symptoms, so even if you did have tertiary syphilis it could be fixed with no harm done.\n\nBut while tertiary syphilis may have a negative RPR, it's unlikely to have a negative or equivocal FTA-ABS. I believe in the absence of symptoms a negative RPR and an equivocal FTA is usually considered a negative, but you could always recheck it.", "comment": "Age - 34\nSex - M\nHeight - 5.6\nWeight -260\nRace - White\nDuration of complaint - Current\nLocation (Geographic and on body) - N/A\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any) - hypertension\nCurrent medications (if any) - Levothyroxine, Lisinopril, Amoldepine, Zoloft, Omeprazol\n\nCurrent information - I have taken two syphilis tests - RPR and FTA-ABS.  The results:\nRPR - Non Reactive\nFTA-ABS - REACTIVE MINIMAL (Equivocal) \nI do not have any current (known) symptoms, nor have I ever noticed a primary sore or secondary rash.\n\nBackground - Several years ago, my wife was having an affair, which led to our divorce. During this time, she was with at least two men that I have been made aware of, but maybe more. I was faithful during the marriage, with the only stupid thing being done following the fallout - this event was with some acquaintances drinking, and during the course of the night, gave oral sex to one of the guys (I understand disease has no time limit, but it was all of about 10 seconds). I was revolted and did not continue it, and left after the incident. I have not otherwise had any sexual contact in 3 years with anyone.\n\nIn the time following the divorce and this event however, I have been wracked with guilt and worry, afraid my 10 seconds of stupidity has cost me, or my ex wife has given me something. Through various other reasons for testing, I have already ruled out HIV (oral swab), Hep (gastro gave me a full panel), and Gonorrhea, Trich, and Chlamydia. However, this past week, it finally got to me that I have never been tested for Syphilis, and so went online and had both the RPR test and FTA-ABS ordered.\n\nThe labs were professionally drawn at LabCorp, with the results noted above.\n\nThe Worry:\nAs my name might imply, I deal with SEVERE, crippling health anxiety, and am prone to doing too much reading and research.  As such, when the results came back, it has driven me into a panic, since I have read that a negative RPR can happen in late stage/tertiary, making me worry that I am now beyond hope (aka, doomed to have degenerative dementia, etc). I am trying to follow up my GP, or ideally an Infectious medicine specialist, but I would appreciate any sanity I can get for now.  Is the FTA test one that can be prone to a false positive? \n\n\nIts also worth noting - I am penicillin allergic, so even the traditional course of treatment could be a problem.  I can tolerate doxycycline, as I did a 7 day course 5 months ago following a minor (skin) procedure.  \n\n\n", "post_id": "aax4kl"}, {"question": "Test results cannot be interpreted in the absence of any history. Please post the required information, including:\n\nDuration of complaint, location on body, any diagnosed medical issues, current medications and doses, any recreational drugs\n\nIn particular, we need to know why MS is on the list of things to be tested for and if you have had any other testing done.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "b31ftp"}, {"question": "Watch some cartoons with her.  Chill, let her feel how she wants.  Just be around, no verbal communication necessary.", "comment": "Last week she suffered a very bizarre experience. We were shopping in a grocery store. I was putting things into the trunk of the car when she crossed the street to buy ice cream in front of the grocery store.\n\nOut of f** nowhere came two dudes with helmets in a motorcycle who grabbed her and cut a big chunk of her hair with scissors, then drove off into seemingly thin air. Police was called, she cried for like an hour, and it was all around horrible. That's the summarized version.\n\nEveryone is utterly WTF'd about what happened and just feel extremely vulnerable and confused. I mean, they could have just as easily *kidnapped* in the same amount of time/situation.\n\nMy little sis has not uttered a single word since last week. She nods and denies with her head but doesn't speak sentences and doesn't text anyone.\n\nShe has Asperger's syndrome, she is extremely shy and sometimes withdraws too much socially, but she does speak normally in the presence of people she feels safe with and she has received counselling in the past, particularly in kindergarten and the first grades.\n\nShe's seemingly not scared to go out of the house because we have gone out with her a few times ever since, and she doesn't seem particularly anxious about anything but she's not speaking it's kinda driving my parents and I insane with worries.\n\nMy parents tried setting up therapy sessions in one (or I think several) health centers where they have insurance coverage. However, the health care options aren't available right now due to the quarantine still being partially active where we live.\n\nIs there anything *I* can do to help her sort of find her voice again? Is there anything in particualr *we* should be doing to help her?\n\nQuick edit: She's very high-functioning and at least averagely intelligent. She did have some considerable difficulties with reading and writing but with therapy and help from us she overcame this relatively quickly.", "post_id": "gxc5q8"}, {"question": "when taking a break, always DEFINE what the break means. are we going to date others? are we going to talk? how much talking? etc etc\n", "comment": "Hi.\n\nI'll describe what has been happening the last 6 months below. We've been friends for ~2 years now and we had a great run up to now. We said that there was going to be no contact, and that eventually.. We'll see each other again and see how things will be. But does that really ever work?\n\n\n\nFor the past 2 months my best friend and I have been having fights on and off, always regarding the same subject; Our relationship.\n\nWe have always had this bizarre connection, I've seriously never ever connected with someone in a way as I have with her and I'm a very social person. I have many friends, but what she and I have (had by now I guess) was like nothing else. I'm not sure how to describe it properly.. We missed each other, we couldn't go a day without talking to each other, told each other we loved each other and so on. It was almost as if we were engaged in a romantic relationship, except we weren't. \n\nWhen I met her I had a girlfriend (broke up ~8 months ago, kind of starting to realise now it was because of her) and she's got a boyfriend. Regardless, our bond kept getting stronger. At one point she invited me over to see her new place (she moved in with her boyfriend) and I figured we'd just do dinner and watch some TV. Chat a bit as per usual, but no. We ended up having sex for the first time.\n\nSex started to become a regular thing, and along with that her behavior changed. She started being really jealous of other girls whom I'd speak to, she seemed to get more dependent because she was constantly afraid to lose me. \n\nEventhough some of these things (+ things that have happened up to this point + the things she's told me about her past, which trust me, is a lot of baggage.) were red flags, I developed feelings for her and fell in love with her. I should have never allowed this to happen, because due to the signals she was sending me, I was convinced she developed feelings for me too. That's when the first minor fights started taking place.. I was convinced that her current relationship probably wasn't as healthy as she wants the world to think, otherwise you wouldn't tell someone who isn't your boyfriend that you miss him, love him. Let alone, sleep with someone who isn't your boyfriend and instead of preventing that from happening again let it happen over and over again.\n\nThe first big fight ensued when she told me about getting a mortgage **with** her boyfriend. Not smart if you ask me, so that's what I told her and with that the reason why I think it's not smart. Not so strange that I have my concerns, it could get her in a lot of trouble in the long run. This is something she obviously didn't want to hear. Nasty things were said, I listed all the things that have been said/happened and with that I called her relationship a joke and said that getting a mortgage seems like desperate attempt to salvage it. \n\nHer explaination for her behavior is that because of our very very special bond, that the lines between a \"friendship\" and a \"romantic relationship\" were sometimes vague and thus nonexistent. This confused her at times, which is why she slept with me. There is no spark, and so there are no romantic feelings and I'll never have a chance with her (her words). Just \"very good friend\" feelings (Hurray friendzone). Sure, she did things she shouldn't have done and sure there are things in her relationship she's not content with, but these were just things she has to work on with her boyfriend. It doesn't mean that her relationship is unhealthy or that she's unhappy. To this she also added that some of it can't be explained, her words were that she isn't sure what it is that I offer her, but apparently it's a void no one else fills properly/no one else ever filled up. How messed up is that? That I, not her boyfriend, offer her something no one else has ever been able to give her?\n\nI'm not sure what to do with all of this information, but I don't believe her. Don't ge me wrong, I want to believe her. It's just that I simply can't, too much has happened and thus we are now on no speaking terms. We said that we will speak again in time, to have everything calm down. Try and push a reset button if you will.. But does such a thing really ever work? I'm just scared everything will be forgotten. Life goes on as it does. That she'll replace me with someone else to \"fill that void no one else could fill\". \n\n\n\nDoes this \"taking space and not speaking\" thing ever really work? How do I know the time is right to speak to each other, what if she suggests meeting up and I'm not ready yet? Can we ever repair the amazing friendship we've persued for so long?\n\nTLDR; - Because of mixed signals my friend sent out, I fell in love with her. It's become a complex story but now we're not talking to each other anymore.", "post_id": "5ulqrs"}, {"question": "Why were you sparring on your first day? Couldn't they tell that you were both exhausted and untrained when they put you in front of another student? This sounds shoddy and dangerous.", "comment": "I'm 22. Skinny. I was fucking exhausted through half the warm-up. The rest of it also went terribly.My brain agreed when it was told an exercise to do, but my body couldn't take it.By the time I was to fight one of the other students, I was so fucked up, I blacked out twice in the fight, and ended up with an aching jaw and lips cut in a few places, and puked..\nNow, I really want to continue this training, but I feel my body needs to be developed as the training goes. My trainer hasn't suggested me a diet or anything yet, since it was trial class.\nSo reddit, \nWhat is the ideal diet for a kickboxing beginner?\nWhat fruits, pulses and vegetables would be beneficial?", "post_id": "23no0u"}, {"question": "I started on 5mg in the morning then 2.5 at lunch then 2.5 im early avo. That became ineffective really quick so I increased. \n\nBefore I last saw my psych I was having 5mg 4 times a day. He recommended I try the full 10mg twice a day. Essentially, when your liver has more to process it does it slower and the effects last a little longer. This was great advice. I went away trying 10mg morning and lunch and it worked great.\n\nIt started to not be quite enough though, similar to previously. So now taking 20mg in morning and 10mg around 11-12 which is enough as long as I don't have to be productive after 4pm. Tuesday's I have a lecture 5-8pm so I take a half at around 4. \n\nI have had to give up coffee. For me personally (emphasise this) 20mg twice a day is too much even now, 7 weeks in. But my psychiatrist prescribe me 20mg a day from the start. It may be that your psychiatrist has given you a maximum and not put it in so many words? My psych said have a script for two a day but that's not what I expect you to take, it's a max and just try everything for now.", "comment": "So, I have medicaid and can only go to the mental health clinic where they're just overtaxed. The doctor prescribed me 20mg 2x a day, which seems like an overkill starter dose to me. I took 5mg 2x a day at one point. My doctor doesn't have the time to talk to me for 30 minutes about dosages, but I'm very appreciative that he gave me enough of a dose that I will be able to find what works for me.  \n\nMy problem last time was that 5mg seemed to stop being effective after 3 weeks or so. The provider I was seeing at the time wasn't comfortable playing with dosages, so I just quit taking the drug. \n\nI started with 5mg again this time, with some positive results. I take it usually every 5 hours. I initially stuck to 2 dosages a day, but I'm now seeing the benefit of 3 dosages a day. There doesn't seem to be much of a downside to this, unless you really get the full 6+ hours from IR, then it might affect sleep. I was listening to a podcast* by a psychiatrist who runs an ADHD clinic and he said that even XR users would benefit from one IR dosage after the XR is done working.\n\nJust curious how other people are taking this drug. Today I took 5mg, 5mg, and now I'm talking a 10mg dose to experiment with. I tried one before and had issues, but I was stupid and drank like 2 coffees during the dosage. I actually wanted to try 7.5mg, but splitting a 20mg pill into an 8th is just too imprecise, even a 4th is pushing it.\n\n* https://www.additudemag.com/podcast-use-adjust-stimulants-william-dodson/  \n\nPodcast I referenced, that I found very helpful and informative in it's talks about optimal dosing. ", "post_id": "b22el5"}, {"question": "I thought I had weeks to plan for a babysitter. Turns out the concert is in three days so I've had to rush it which wasn't my plan.", "comment": "And I really wanted to go to this show :/ \n\nThanks ADHD, you\u2019re always here to waste my time and money ", "post_id": "akktk4"}, {"question": "I'm not a blood banker, but I've never heard of that restriction. Where did you hear it?", "comment": "30, female. I was told I couldn\u2019t never donate again, despite having O- blood, because I received a shot for my baby being O+. Never can donate again.  \n\nWhy is this?", "post_id": "clrzgb"}, {"question": "Valproate and Abilify can both be sedating. In addition, valproate can raise your ammonia level, which can make you fatigued and confused and out of it. Has your ammonia level been checked? For that matter, has your valproate level been checked? And are these meds helping any of your symptoms if not the fog?\n\nIt's always possible that your problems are \"organic\" rather than mental, as the jargon goes. Is your TSH normal? If it's on the high end of normal it might be worth trying an increase in levothyroxine. And then the usual suspects: anemia, B12 deficiency, and maybe rheumatoid labs if aches and fatigue fit the picture.", "comment": "Male/ 20/ 240lbs/ 1200mg Sodium Valproate (5 months)/ 10mg Abilify (3 weeks)/ 150mg Levothyroxine (1 year, stable level)\n\nHi, I'm experiencing brain fog which just will not go away and it's making it really difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. I think I've had it for the past 5 years. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder/Depression, Bulimia, OCD, and Anxiety, but despite the medications I've been on the fog won't go away. I also suffer from: muscle/head aches, fatigue, restless sleep (which makes even minor exercise incredibly difficult). \n\nI don't know what to do at this point. Is it possible this brain fog is due to a health problem, rather than mental?  ", "post_id": "8ac07y"}, {"question": "If you can't keep your dignity, then I wouldn't stay.  I'm sure he is a good guy when sober and probably wouldn't hit on other chicks.  But when he's that sloshed, he has no semblance of judgment.  It might depend on how often this black-out thing happens... But if you've ultimately lost respect, it will probably be an uphill battle to keep the relationship going.    ", "comment": "Hi all,\nMy SO and I have been dating for a little over 2 years. \n\n6 months ago we moved to a new city together and it has been absolutely amazing. We spend every day together and love each other very much.\n\n Since we have started dating, I have known he has a problem with drinking. As he says, he has trouble stopping once he starts. I also like drinking, so it's hard because he has a different experience with alcohol than I do. \n\nMost of the time when we go drinking out it's okay, but once in a while he crosses a line and gets...weird. Not physical or abusive, but just out of his mind. He doesn't know how to speak, loses his motor abilities, dead eyes, etc. Again, it's not every time he drinks.\n\nLast weekend we went out to a bar for a friend's birthday. It didn't seem like he was drinking that much but before I knew what was happening he was *dark* drunk. He insisted we go to another bar near our house and I went for one drink but got annoyed because he wasn't making sense verbally / could barely sit on his barstool. I know it was not nice of me to desert him in that state, but i said \"fuck it\" and went home to sleep around 1am.\n\nAround 5am, he comes in and gets in bed, completely incoherent. I ask him where he was and he just seemed totally out of it. We went to sleep. The next morning, I looked at his phone and he had a new facebook friend, a girl he met at the bar. \n\nShe had FB messaged him saying she could see him outside the bar from her window and told him to get home safe. He asks her \"why she didn't go home with him\" and she says \"you were being weird and drunk, and you have a girlfriend\" to which he says \"great point.\" They end the conversation with him saying \"you're gorgeous and I tried\" and he had typed a message about how he was going to \"make her cum\" but hadn't sent it. \n\nHe has always been such a respectful guy and I was completely caught off guard by these messages (which I read the morning of Valentine's Day, ugh).\n\nHe didn't remember the girl or the messages and was completely humiliated / furious at himself. I broke up with him and asked him to stay with friends, and he has been completely understanding.\n\nWe were going to re-sign our lease this month and I was so happy at the thought of living with him for another year. Our relationship has been amazing, and both of us thought we would be together forever. I don't want to regret losing our apartment and life in this new city. Am I being too harsh by ending things? I'm so afraid of this happening again and I feel like I can't stay with him and keep my dignity intact.\n\nTL;DR: blackout drunk boyfriend of 2yrs. almost goes home with a random bar babe. We moved to a new city together and I need to decide whether to cut-and-run or try and rebuild.\n\nEDIT: Forgot to mention, he talked to the girl the next day to verify that nothing physical happened, and then told her they shouldn't speak again.", "post_id": "2wlbhi"}, {"question": "Nice! I\u2019m sober with you today. ", "comment": "\"I don't know how to tell my parents that I'm dating an alcoholic college dropout.\"\n\nHearing that from my girlfriend really pushed me. I haven't been sober for this long in months, and it's starting to feel pretty good.\n\nI almost drank tonight. I drove to the liquor store, parked there, but got out and went into the store next to it and bought some candy and some more sparkling water.\n\nPriorities are to stay sober and get myself together. Going back to college in the fall!", "post_id": "7dgugg"}, {"question": "just clarify feelings together and go back to what you had.", "comment": "I met a girl at a mutual friends party a while back, and we spent most of the time there just hanging out, having a great time. I didn't expect to see her again, but a few months later she started working at my go to pizza place and we reconnected. So for three months whenever she was there, I always chatted with her and we got along really well. Eventually I decided I wanted to invite her out to the bars with a few friends of mine because I always enjoyed my time with her and I'd like to befriend her. \n\nShe misheard it and thought I was asking her out on a date, just stared at me as though I lost my mind, and told me \"Sorry, I don't accept invitations like that. At work.\" She didn't make eye contact and seemed outright scared. I didn't fully get what she meant so I just told her that it's ok and I understand. She went right back to being friendly as I was leaving, however.\n\nA month and a half later I find her on facebook and send her a friend request. It's been a week and no response either way. So my question is, how do I get past the awkwardness of that? I never contacted her to explain I wasn't trying to ask her out because I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable. Or is it too late to mend fences? We got along great and I think it would be a shame to lose that over an unfortunate misunderstanding.", "post_id": "5msija"}, {"question": "Unconditional positive regard is typically associated with Rogerian/Humanistic/Person Centered therapy.  \n\nI am not familiar with \"therapeutic love\" and the \"negative remarks\" sounds more like Perls.\n\nWhere are you getting your info about psychodynamic therapy ?", "comment": "Hello,\n\nQuestion regarding psychodynamic therapy: is it therapist job to reparent the client, provide secure attachement base, show the client they are lovable and provide corrective experience with primary attachement figure? I know it is the case for some other forms of therapy if this is what client needs. I.e. To talk to client in a way client should be talked to by parents. Do psychodynamic therapist offer unconditional possitive regard or this is not the part of therapy and actually opposite: the therapist challenges the client and tells them sometimes critical and negative remarks about them? What about \"therapeutic love\" ? Is it important that client feels this or not in this form of therapy? \n\nI am asking casue I have certain critique for my ex therapist but I realize that maybe I dont know enough about psychodynamic therapy to expect i.e unconditional possitive regard or that therapist is interested in my life in general and they express that. \nI read that Freud described therapy as \"Die Heilung durch die Liebe\" (healing through love) but my therapist tells me it is not nessesary for therapist to care so deeply and they can still have great results. \n\nI would appreciate information about the importance of the bond in this type of therapy.", "post_id": "gp5fst"}, {"question": "No, that's still within normal dose range. It can have side effects\u2014any medication or change can potentially have side effects\u2014but usually if you tolerate a lower dose well an increase doesn't cause sudden new problems.", "comment": "I've been taking 100mg daily and my psychiatrist just told me to increase my dosage to 150mg. Can it cause any side effects? I haven't had any serious side effects for 100mg except the weight gain but it might not be because of that bc my appetite hasn't changed at all and for some weird reason i've been gaining weight. So is 150mg a lot??", "post_id": "eza4ki"}, {"question": "How much do you like other people.   Generally if you show genuine interest, people will like you ", "comment": "I am not an ass. I don't go around insulting people. I am quiet, takes me a moment to warm up to other people. I am not naturally charming, sometimes I say something that people laugh at.\n\nI am not shy.\n\nI am a mix of alpha and beta. Maybe I am just unlucky, maybe I just give off bad vibes.\n\nIt's so weird. *shrugs*\n", "post_id": "1zvc5p"}, {"question": "If there\u2019s one thing I learned from my time dating it is to fake it \u2018till you make it and that confidence is sexy. \n\nWe are our biggest critics. Everyone has something they don\u2019t like about their body. I\u2019m obese and was talking with a coworker who had a baby recently. She\u2019s of a healthy weight, and super pretty, used to do some catalogue modeling. She was talking about how out of shape she is and joking that she was nowhere near a \u2018bikini body\u2019.\n\nI find it hilarious. I\u2019d stab a bitch for her body. But a few extra pounds and the natural things that happen to a body directly after pregnancy are just consuming her self image. \n\nThere are things you can do for PCOS to help, and if it makes you feel good to go hung go for them then do that! But sometimes it also feels (and physiologically is) an uphill battle. \n\nI own what I\u2019ve got. I know what clothes and make up styles are most flattering and then I just go out into the world with my head held high. \n\nI\u2019m kind, funny, smart, and a good listener. There is a ton of stuff that makes a person attractive that have nothing to do with physical appearance. \n\nI admit there are totally times where I feel like I\u2019m putting lipstick on a pig. Especially when I don\u2019t want to wear a bra, even though it makes a dramatic improvement in appearance for my figure. We all have those thoughts. \n\nYou are a worthy person. You have qualities that a partner will cherish. Fake the confidence till you have the confidence. Figure out what your awesome qualities are and remind yourself of them daily. You will eventually start to believe that you\u2019re an awesome human being that other people would be happy to be in a relationship with. \n\nRelationships are one of those places where looks do matter to some people and it does shrink the dating pool. But do you really want to date someone who dismisses you on looks alone? \n\nSincerely,\nA happily married, fat, PCOS chick who paid her dues in the dating pool a few years back", "comment": "I'm nearly 26 and I have only been on 2 single dates in my life - never had a boyfriend or anything approaching, never even held hands or kissed and definitely nothing sexual. Hopefully you can understand why I feel like a bit of an odd one out when most girls my age have reached those milestones years ago, and I'm surrounded by people in relationships.\n\nAnyway, my PCOS has developed over the past few years and got really bad. I've got acne, excessive body hair, oily skin, weight around my stomach, lots of sweating, depression, mood swings...a full complement of 'unattractive' symptoms, which makes me feel miserable all the time. I'd obviously really like to find a relationship as I feel so lonely all the time (I live and work mostly alone, and don't have many friends in the immediate vicinity) but my confidence in myself because of these symptoms is rock bottom and I don't know how to fix it. I'm trying to treat them all with no luck, and they're making me so shy with doing anything and I just want to hide myself constantly. The thought of allowing a boy to get close enough to my face to see the hair around my chin and jaw makes me want to die. This is all on top of other unrelated physical things like my huge shoulders and horrible teeth.\n\nI've been using dating apps for a few months and although I get some matches, I'm so convinced they'll think my body and how I act is repulsive when they meet me even if I look good in photos - past dates haven't exactly gone anywhere after just one meeting. The boys I like on there very rarely like me! I realise for not finding anyone at all in 26 years through school and uni and work, I probably need to work on other things too!! But I think I'm relatively 'normal' - I have a good career, good family and friends, interests and hobbies, and can do okay in social situations. Has anyone else managed to get anywhere from this point??", "post_id": "8wmsyv"}, {"question": "It's impossible to know what's in someone else's head. Most of the time they don't even know. Don't take it personally. Just be you. Someone WILL love you. Period.", "comment": "i am 17 and have been in 3 relationships throughout my life. I've learned not to be too clingy nor too distant, never once cheated, I've waited months while someone's been in a different country, I'm funny, trustworthy and not to sound vain but rather pretty. When I'm in a relationship I'm just a normal, good girlfriend. I've come to the conclusion either I've been doing something wrong or my ex's are just assholes. What is the problem?", "post_id": "6h8ium"}, {"question": "Do you believe that the alcohol is causing the mental health problems or did they exist before he struggled with drink?", "comment": "My father is a severe alcoholic with un-diagnosed mental issues. He suffers from delusions, anger, mood swings, and more. I'm not a doctor, and know nothing about mental health really besides some anxiety and depression that I suffer from myself. He will not get help, and he is losing his mind and it is killing my mother. He stays up all night drinking and talking to some fake catfish girl online while my mother can't sleep and shes in her 60s and works a full time job. He just drinks all night and goes to bed at 8 in the morning, then sleeps all day. Who can my mom call? She is having a very hard time with this and I don't know what to tell her. She goes back and forth because she's worried he'll die in the hospital and that he's too far gone for help, but also says she can't deal with this anymore. ", "post_id": "5zj4qk"}, {"question": "It definitely seems like he likes you! I think he probably interpreted you running away and not \"putting out\", so to speak, as you not being interested. Maybe he took it as a rejection and is embarrassed.  \nYou like him, and he likes you, so don't let this little misunderstanding get in the way of anything. It may feel hard, but try to be honest and just say that you're not very experienced and didn't know what to do. No need to feel embarrassed about that, either. You're only 19. And many guys actually like women who are inexperienced (the whole \"purity,\" virgin thing...plus it can be cute)", "comment": "Two weeks ago I matched with a cute guy who shared my similar interests on Tinder. We started texting on the app until he gave me his number, a week ago. We have been texting at least once a day (nothing sexual- just questions about each other). He has always been forward and initiated most of relationship. He was the one to give me his number and he was persistent in asking me out. I finally agreed to it and we went out two days ago (2/15) to a restaurant.  I really enjoyed getting to know him and he was so sweet. After dinner he walked me to my apartment and we kissed in front. This was my first kiss and it was extremely awkward- he snuck in tongue almost immediately and put his hand on my butt. I was clueless in what to do and basically froze. After 30s I moved my head to give him hug goodbye (but he took it as a signal in getting more air and tried to kiss me again). I stammered out a goodbye and ran into my apartment. It has been 24 hrs without a text from him, and I'm worried that he doesn't like me. I really like him and I feel bad that I didn't tell him I had any experience prior to our date. I know he probably sounds sleazy from my description but I swear he was a gentleman! Should I text him or should I see that him not texting me back is a sign that he's not that into me? ", "post_id": "5uk4br"}, {"question": "What is your question?", "comment": "I have had muscle symptoms such as burning and weakness for about 4 years. One year ago, I started experiencing brain fog and difficulty breathing when lying down that has progressed to confusion and delirium and shortness of breath. \n\nI have had pulmonary function testing and a short sleep study. The PFT showed slow inspiration (peak inspiratory flow) at 32% of expected and 70% expected max expiratory pressure. Other values were normal. Sleep study was only 2.5 hours and didnt show hypoventilation, just a range of oxygen sat. between 85% and 96%.\n\nI have extreme trouble processing things, speaking, reading, and a very high heart rate with slight exertion with palpitations. Every doctor says I dont need night time ventilation, but I have somewhat been dismissed. I want to know how I can get treatment such as ventilation, at least at night.\n\nmuscle biopsy: https://imgur.com/a/UYdECu3\n\nPFT: https://imgur.com/a/3I6geLp\n\nsleep study: https://imgur.com/a/ZJjGpdV\n\nCanada - Male - 200 cm - 90kg - non smoker - no alcohol", "post_id": "aumnh3"}, {"question": "For college (I'm assuming)this isn't an uncommon thing at all.  I'd say the fact you got any notice is fairly considerate.  Are you friends with your roommate or want to be friends?  If so, consider sleeping on the couch for a couple nights or going to a friends as favor to him and mention that he owes you one.  If he's a good guy, he'll reciprocate.  \n\nIf you don't care about being friends (or friendly) with him in the first place, it's time to set boundaries and say no, I'm not leaving and if you guys start screwing around while I'm there, this is what I'll do.... etc.  \n\nThe question you gotta ask is what's more important to you, his friendship or sleeping in your room that weekend?  There's no right or wrong answer, but either one will have consequences both good and bad. \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "I'm not exactly sure what to do. I've been stressing over this all day because I want to sleep in the room we share, but she will be there. It will be extremely awkward for me. This is the most anxiety I've had in awhile. My roommate only gave me 12 hour notice, which I find extremely rude. He should at least tell me a week in advance. Last night when he told me, he said \"feel free to sleep here or go to our friend danny's room because he has an extra bed.\" Is this normal speak for get the hell out? My assertive side says \"go to your damn room and sleep there because you pay for that shit\". My awkward side says \"sleep on the kitchen floor man, that's too much anxiety\". What the hell do I do? I do not want to change my fucking daily routine and move over just because she is here, but I also don't want to enrage people. Am I the creep ,or they simply rude? Do I go for what I desire, or do I appease what I think he likely was trying to convey? \nI personally DO NOT want to go to the other room because I hate it, absolutely despise, when my routine is broken. ", "post_id": "7ziesp"}, {"question": "You don\u2019t need to drink pure water. Just about any fluid will do, including coffee. A high BUN in isolation probably isn\u2019t meaningful unless it\u2019s extremely high; the ratio is mostly used for assessing kidney injury, which it doesn\u2019t sound like you have.\n\nThe CO2 in a CBC is actually bicarbonate, and it has a somewhat complex relationship with blood pH and level of dissolved carbon dioxide. But yours is so minimally elevated that it likely means nothing.", "comment": "Age: 33\nSex: M\nHeight: 5'7\"\nWeight: 130lbs\nRace: Caucasian\nDuration of complaint: a few months\nLocation: headache/dizzy\nAny existing relevant medical issues: restrictive lung disease\nCurrent medications: Cartia XT 120mg\n\n\nI have realized lately that I have a serious problem when it comes to drinking water. When I wake up the first thing I drink is coffee, and then often times I barely have more than a few sips of water today. My doctor ran blood labs and my BUN level is at the high end of normal, and the Creatinine level is normal, but then the overall ratio is a bit higher than normal. Also my CO2 levels listed on the CBC are a bit higher than normal (33 when the high end normal is listed at 30). I do have a lung disease but normally my CO2 levels are on the higher end of normal, instead of outside the range. I realize I may just need an adjustment of the ventilator I use at night. But I was wondering, can dehydration cause elevated CO2 levels due to blood flow not being good or the body working harder than normal?", "post_id": "cyf500"}, {"question": "That's a pretty common issue, even if not \"no emotion \" many people only seem to feel anger and happiness. This is a major theme in anger , abuse and general men's therapy work. \n\nThere are lots of tools and techniques that are useful for identifying emotion.", "comment": "I've seen a few therapists and it seems like they focus on helping people with not feeling sad or anxious, but my problem is that I don't feel anything at all, no happiness, no sadness, no stress. I just feel nothing. The therapists I've seen don't really seem to understand me, they still treat me as if I still feel anxious or sad. Is it even possible for therapy still help with this?", "post_id": "ho3vv1"}, {"question": "If she's stable and healthy now, and you love her, that's all that matters.", "comment": "I love her a lot.  We have been dating 2 years and she has yet to meet my family.  If I am being honest, part of it is because both of her arms are completely covered with scars.  My mom is a traditional soccer mom and while she may have had somewhat free spirit a long time ago, I just don't think she would understand this part of my girlfriend and I'm worried she won't approve. To top it all off, my brother was married to a girl who was a cutter and she ended up completely ruining him.  So my mom already has a bad view of this type of girl (if you can even include them in the same category).  My girlfriend is much sweeter than she was and she just had this thing she went through.  It's been a long time since she has done it.  Any thoughts? ", "post_id": "6vdjsc"}, {"question": "Infp i took the official one!", "comment": "I took this test recently: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp\nand ended up with INFP. It's pretty spot on, and I like to look through this site for more interpretation:\n\nhttp://www.truity.com/personality-type/infp\n\n\n\nI'm interested to see what your types are because we all have BPD in common at least.", "post_id": "2jnu6d"}, {"question": "I think you're not quite ready to settle down.", "comment": "I [27/m] just started dating someone [24/m] four months ago and we're not seeing other people. It's my first real relationship. I think he's great and I like him a lot. We met on a dating app. I never deleted my apps and recently an old swipe came through as a match. The new match is trying to initiate conversation. Part of me wants to talk to the new match to see what he's all about. Is this temptation a normal part of being human and I should just learn to ignore it and focus on building my current relationship, or is this a sign that I'm not totally happy with my current situation?", "post_id": "6bduqp"}, {"question": "If you are worried about being judged or disliked,  i recommend seeing a therapist who has experience working with \"difficult \" patients.  I do forensic work , so I am pretty used to being lied to and manipulated. I have also worked with violent offenders , so I am not easily scared off.\n\nThere are plenty of therapists who will happy to work with you , just as you are.", "comment": "I am highly manipulative, sadistic, all I do is play mind games and I\u2019m extremely calculated. I use everyone and throw them away when I\u2019m done. If I\u2019m not in control of a situation/conversation, I\u2019m extremely uncomfortable and get angry. \n\nWhen I determine who I actually would WANT to have around, I calculate their worth or whether I can benefit from them or not. \n\nI don\u2019t always play games to hurt people, but to manipulate them into liking me. With every conversation is an ulterior motive, family as well. \n\nI think I\u2019m better than everyone. Maybe not as smart as somebody, or as attractive, but collectively, with personality and looks, depth, interests, I am. Doesn\u2019t everyone? When I ask.. everyone says they don\u2019t think they are. Are they lying?\n\nI don\u2019t like anyone that much, I look down to all of my peers and mostly everyone else. If I\u2019m interested in someone, I talk to them until I figure them out.. and then I\u2019m bored. \nI have no true friends because I see no one as equal. I feel no empathy. \nOf course feeling grandiose has its benefits, confidence, but it\u2019s lonely and obviously not normal. \n\n\nMy current partner wants me to talk to someone because they think I have antisocial personality disorder.\nEven thinking about seeing a therapist and opening up  scares me, someone seeing who I am, I could never!But I want to feel understood and not looked at as a terrible person.\n\n\nWhat is this? \nDo I just lie? Can I tell the truth to a potential future therapist? Wouldn\u2019t you think I\u2019m a POS?", "post_id": "hufpib"}, {"question": "I have burned many bridges\n\nYou can't cross them again", "comment": "I am currently trying to put some space between me and my FP, which is actually not that hard because he rarely speaks to me anymore. I just feel like he thinks that I either don't like him, or that I'm not interesting anymore, that he thinks I'm too much work to keep being friends with, or just simply annoying. \n\nWe used to talk every day, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, but he has kind of put me aside. He talks to other people now and when we hang out it's just awkward and he can get kind of mean. He makes me nervous, and we both often need alcohol to be our true selves with each other. I can get really quite when people talk about things rather than emotional stuff, and when I hang with him and my bf, they only talk about cars, speakers and other music stuff, or games I haven't played or aren't interested in, and I can't get a word in edgewise. I get cut off when I talk, the music I play isn't appreciated (he literally says it sucks) and gets skipped. I know that he sometimes goes over the edge when teasing me because he wants a reaction, but by that time I'm already emotionally out the door and can't come with a witty come-back or laugh it off, so it becomes even more awkward. \n\nLast time we hung out he randomly hugged me and asked me why I'm so unapproachable, and it just breaks my heart. Later that night we danced really intimately together after having had a heartfelt discussion about another friend of his, and I felt that we would get back on track after that, but no. He is frustrated, I get that, but for my mental well being, I just need space. \n\nSo. \n\nHave you ever been in a situation like that where you had to not be in contact with your FP or someone else, what happened, how did they react, and how long did you not speak for?", "post_id": "f5pj2v"}, {"question": "If you had a serious absorption problem like pernicious anemia your B12 level would be much lower. I would recommend that you start by supplementing orally and retest in a few months.", "comment": "Age: 22\nWeight: 73kg(160lbs)\nHeight: 175sm(5\"9')\n\nBefore two years when i worked stressfull job i had brain fog, was lethargic and had anxiety issues. Now i am studying only. As my life got more peaceful the symptoms reduced.\nAs of now: \n3 months ago I started dieting and going to the gym. I lost 10kg(22lbs). Currently i feel better than before. But still i lack the energy my friends(same age) have. At the gym i feel weak, although I am lifting the same weights I used to when I was 10kg heavier. Sometimes i get brain fog. \n\nThe things i have changed bout my diet are:\ngreatly reduced alcohol consumption.\nexcluded beer appetizers like fried chicken skins, fatty pork cuts, bacon.\n\nI am eating more veggies and fruits than before and i am consuming meat on a daily basis(about 500g). I am varying the protein source between pork, eggs and chicken.\nI eat at about 1800ccal 120protein  60-80 fats 100 - 180 carbs.\n\nMy doc says that he is not conserned about my b12 level being below the range.\nI have 168pgml the range is [190, 914]. My Iron is ok.\n\nHis opinion: \nMaybe it is because you restrict yourself of certain foods or it is due to the change in diet.\nI am not conserned and i think your score is ok. If you decide to take b12, get some b12 drops.\n\nMy opinions:\nI eat varying foods and consume meat daily so i think there is something wrong with the absorption of b12, not with the diet. So i think that taking oral drops will not change anything. I need b12 shots.\n\nI am attaching some of the test, only the b12 is out of range out of those(and the other things we tested) \n\n---->https://imgur.com/a/jqXHIyX\n\n\nWhat are your thoughts? And if you support my opinions, what dosage and how often should i get injected.\n ", "post_id": "8fa4uz"}, {"question": "Based only on this information alone, it doesn't really sound like \"compulsive \" lying.  Maybe he lies about other things,  but this sounds like a concerted and careful (albeit sloppy and not well-done) effort to paint his romantic life in a certain way. This is a pretty classic \"I have a girlfriend in Canada,\" \"I have a girlfriend from summer camp\" lie , but with poor insight,  since these girls exist in your community. \n\nRelationships and sex can be a huge source of anxiety in early adulthood.  One way to deal with this is to not pay much mind. He sounds awfully immature,  and challenging him or investigating his claims may fuel him more and make his love life feel more important. \n\nNow, if he is trying to contact younger girls online,  he could potentially get in trouble,  depending on where you live. Confronting him about the possible consequences may not be a bad idea . If you can leave out implications (like that you think it is gross or perverted), it may be more impactful.  He may not be able to control his thoughts and attraction,  the focus can be on controlling illegal/risky behavior.", "comment": "Within my friend group there is one friend in particular who always seems to be lying especially about girls he has talked to or dated in the past. I first became aware of this when this friend had been talking about this one girl pretty frequently. He was talking about how they had hung out a lot and they even engaged in some sexual activity. He even said at one point he was going to fly out to Hawaii with her. It came to my realization soon after that this wasn't true. I found out that she had a boyfriend and was in a serious committed relationship. \n\nThis didn't stop here however, as he continued to tell stories and lie about his past girlfriends that he has had. He has also discussed how he dated and or had intimate relations with two other girls. It all seemed pretty unlikely to me so I asked the girls about him and they confirmed to our surprise that they had never been in any sort of relationship with him and they may have not even liked him that much. \n\nIt seemed to get even weirder after he went off to college. He had said he met a girl there and they were in a relationship. However, he would rarely talk about her, I never saw a picture of her, and he would always seem to avoid talking about the subject. She seemed to fade out of the picture until he got with his new and current \"girlfriend.\" There is more evidence to back this girl up as I have seen them hang out together and they seem to at least be friends. Although I am unsure if this goes anywhere past friendship because some conversations seem forced and fake.\n\nFinally, I am also getting concerned after learning from friends of ours that he has hit up quite a bit of girls on instagram or snapchat that appear to be too young for him. He is a freshman in college and he has hit up girls who are freshman and sophomores from our high school and it is fairly odd. I am not sure how to handle this situation or if I should bring this up to him.", "post_id": "gq6hav"}, {"question": "Now this! This is inspirational!", "comment": "My \"superpowers\" are back. I'm getting strong, chicks are staring at me everywhere I go and chatting me up. NoFap is just one tool for greatness, however. \n\nI started to realize at some point last year that everything really comes back to hormones. You can't bank on just nofap to turn you into some kind of stud. You have to stop settling for a fantasy, and stop seeking approval also. \n\nI have the knowledge. I know why NoFap helps, I know why the hormones matter, and I know why the abundance mentality draws in the things you truly desire.\n\nChanging your way of thinking is a start, even if you're in deep shit right now. Stop looking at what you DON'T have. Being gracious is key. Discipline is also required. Instant gratification will lead you to  being less productive over time. You will feel lifeless, no purpose, no fulfillment. Change that \"there's no point of life\" mentality to \"life is great.\"\n\nIt does take time, everything does. You will need to put the work in for your goals. You will need to give up a lot of bad shit. Just know that self-improvement comes with no limitation. If you truly desire a healthy relationship, then you will start making yourself more appealing right now. \n\nI've made posts before about how increasing testosterone levels betters your situation. If you really want the superpowers that some guys on here are claiming, it's not free. \n\nSome guys do have good genes naturally, and are more inclined to draw in attention just by doing nofap. When you have high test levels, pheromones definitely make you more appealing. You can't achieve that magnetism otherwise. \n\nDoctors many years ago told me I had low t. I was only 20 or so at the time. I'm now 24, and honestly I started looking into everything I could do to increase levels naturally. I start lifting, I started eating things like oyster, nuts, coconut oil, eggs and so on. Supplementation also unlocked potential, many people think it's all bs and makes no difference, but I'll tell you from my personal experience, some definitely increase testosterone levels. \n\nIf you're stubborn about supplementation, then at least better your diet. Heavy lifting over time gradually helps as long as you aren't overworking yourself at the gym every night. If you're doing chump weight and long cardio sessions, you aren't doing the optimal workout for an increase. \n\nThe main lifts, especially squats and deadlifts, at the heaviest you can handle, make a noticable difference. I just did deadlifts earlier at 195 pounds, 8 reps and feel so much better. I'm not a huge guy, I'm like 5'6, 140 lb. \n\nPeople think it's all about looks, but truthfully personality is going to do a lot more for attraction as a guy. Yeah, muscle is nice for the physical aspect of attraction, but it is not a requirement. What really matters is that you feel great all the time, no more slumps, no more insecurities. \n\nStability is everything. I know guys bragging they work more than I do, but really a lot of them aren't stable, they're still a slave to drugs or hook ups or whatever gives them their quick boost. \n\nStart reconsidering your situation right now. Stop settling. \n\nAsk me anything if you want, I know what works, as I stated. My streak isn't 144 days without busting a nut, but the progress I've made resembles something far beyond some number to brag about. ", "post_id": "7r892t"}, {"question": "Depends on where you live but a lot of towns have adult rec sports leagues from competitive ones to recreational.  Even kickball leagues for adults can be a ton of fun.  Usually in rec leagues there are a few teams made up of individuals who don't know each other when they join and get placed on the teams.  This can be a good way to meet people and have fun in the process.\n\n\nThough they're not as common I don't think as softball and kickball rec leagues for adults, some organizations have flag football or even full contact (with pads) rec leagues for adults.  \n\n\nBars usually are the best place to make friends as adults.  You don't necessarily have to drink.  See if any of the bars in your area have pool or darts leagues, or other kinds of leagues.  This can usually be a good way to make friends.\n\n\nIf you're musically inclined or even just love listening to live music, finding open mic nights at bars or coffee shops and starting to go regularly to perform or even just watch is a great way to meet people.  More often than not, the environment is very inviting and communal.  ", "comment": "When I was younger I use to have a handful of friends from the High School football team that I didn't need to be very socially out going to maintain. I was decently fit at the time, we did a lot of physical activities outside of the sport but now many have moved away, some unfortunately died, and the one I got left is to busy with his family and career to do much with me these days which is understandable.\n\nI'm a 25 year old guy working on getting back into shape, and I noticed a boxing gym just opened up in town had a slight interest in the sport. There isn't to much available around here for adults besides bars and I don't like drinking it just breaks out my face so does this sound like a valid option to make some male friends? What are other options out there for a rather still young adult male?", "post_id": "8iev01"}, {"question": "If it makes you feel any better, I\u2019m a licensed counselor and I specifically have to stop my natural urge to tell clients they are attractive when they make negative comments about their appearance. There are several different reasons for this - first being that since I\u2019m a professional that they are paying good money for, I feel like I can come up with something more helpful than just saying what anyone else would say \u201coh but you\u2019re so attractive, I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about!\u201d I also feel as though that\u2019s an invalidating statement to make to a client - it doesn\u2019t matter what *I* think about their appearance, it matters that they feel unattractive, and I need to find a better way to help them with that other than just telling them that they\u2019re wrong - that\u2019s not going to help the situation. Also, it can get a little dicey as a counselor if you\u2019re commenting on clients\u2019 physical attractiveness - you never know when you might get into a messy situation with sexual transference. ", "comment": "I have a counselor I go to every week at my college and although she is very nice and understanding, I don't feel exactly understood. I told her about how half of my life I have been called ugly and how depressed and anxious it made me feel to the point it made me a reculse. Im back in college after five years of being homebound for thinking im too ugly to leave the house. I come back to college and already someone told me id look prettier/better if I fixed my hair/had a different hairstyle and I swear I overheard a kid saying im so ugly to look at! WTF, I got into a panic mode all over again and want to drop out because of that. Im so tired of people calling me ugly and criticzing how I look. I know im not the best looking person but there is not much I can do unless I get cosmetic surgery which  I plan to get in the future but I have no job or money so that is going to take a million years :(.  Another part of me was also hoping that my counselor would say \"No you aren't ugly or horrible looking at all!\" when I mentioned am i really that horrible looking to myself and she said how people can be mean and very judgmental but she never said I wasn't ugly/horrible looking. She looked at me with concern and sorrow and said how often is this in my head. And basically said that I don't know what others thinking of me and to label my way of thinking (like labeling, emotional reasoning)\n\nUgh I nearly choked up explaining my past, I hate to be reminded of it. It hurts to be ugly, who wants to be ugly? who wants to be called that? to have people avoid and ignore you over something you cant control. ld rather be dead than continue to live being ignored, insulted, and mistreated.  im to weak and sensitive to struggle with this on a daily basis. Going back to college was a mistake, I should have gotten a job and got some plastic surgery first before going, I wasted so much time in fear hiding from this world, if I had a job during those years, I could have afforded a procedure by now.\n\nThe counselor probably thinks im ugly as shit too, which is why she didn't say much and just addressed how people can be judgmental and to not care what they think and also how to cope with how im feeling that I can just avoid people and situations that make me feel this way at times when I can. I wish I never said anything.  it just made me feel worse being reminded of it and not being reassured that im not ugly. I probably don't even have dysmorphia and just depressed about the cold reality that I am ugly and there is nothing I can do about it, including trying not to care cause its impossible with my OCD mind.\n", "post_id": "9ujcp3"}, {"question": "There's no reason to worry. The brain works on a \"use it or lose it\" principal. As you think about things less, they get harder to think about. The cells in your brain go through a pruning process which removes any cells that haven't been activated some time. This includes memories stored in different areas of the brain. Additionally, memory is a difficult process and memories themselves degrade the less you think about them. ", "comment": "I was talking with a friend last night and they seemed really freaked out about it, I thought it was fairly normal and everyone's memory was that fuzzy, he seemed to have some kind of incredible super-memory and I thought he was the weird one - but now I'm feeling a bit self conscious about it?\n\nExamples - \n\nI can't remember any of my old addresses from the houses I used to live in.   \nI can't remember any of the titles of the classes I took at university (let alone any of the content)   \nI can't remember the names of any of the kids I went to high school with (except for the ones I still have on facebook)   \nI can't remember what I did for any of my birthdays.   \n\nHe said \"okay what were you doing in summer of 2010?\" and I had to logically think \"well I would have been 20, so that year I would have been (I'm trying to think of it now as I'm typing this and kind of struggling)..... \n\nNo I can't remember. I have no idea. I would have gone back to my parents house that summer because I would have been at college, but I have no idea what happened.\n\nI want to talk about it with someone but don't want to come across weird to my friends (because the guy last night reacted pretty weirdly) - so, any similar experiences?", "post_id": "24137h"}, {"question": "Hey, saw this post on new.\n\nYou've hit a point in your life where you're allowing change, but it's not easy. Everyone always put emphasis on how making a change is all you need but everyone neglects the hard work required to push through.\n\nThe scratching is because you've taken away your numbing agent. Things will feel harsher or more real for a while but identify the main goals and focus on them first.\n\nLike you said, you don't want to continue down this path, and the only way for you to remember that is to keep a clear and sober mind. Acknowledge the hardships and remember that it's because you have to rebuild your foundations so that whatever you replace your alcoholism with can have a chance.", "comment": "Sunday the 6th i finally admitted that i have a problem. Saturday at 709pm or at least thats when i closed my tab. \nIn December events out of my control caused me to lose my home. What was in my control was saving money to put towards another apartment however i did not save a dime. I spent almost every penny on rum or beer over the next month. I have been homeless for 8 days now. Saturday after i closed my tab i walked to my car reclined the seat and tossed my keys into the passenger seat of the vehicle. At 1030pm the same night i was awoken by the police \"to make sure i was ok and had permission to be on the premises\" following our conversation i was lucky i did not get charged with a dui, trespassing, or vagrancy (an ordinance in our town makes it illegal to sleep anywhere but a home, hotel, campground, or shelter) the officers let me take an uber to my adress on my license. I slept on the beach Saturday night. Sunday i decided i was done drinking before i either ruined my life or make it far worse. Sunday was easy it took me a little longer then usual to fall asleep but nothing to major. Yesterday was a little harder made it through work (other then coming in a little hungover my drinking never got in the way of my job) instead of buying a bottle or going to a bar i went to the gym and took a nice 3 hour walk to clear my head. Around 11 or so i started to see flashing lights when I closed my eyes. Took me about 2 hours to fall asleep. Today has been the worst day so far. Today i told my boss whats been going on and he told me he backs me 100%. He wanted to get me a hotel room until i saved up enogh money to get back on my feet. I couldn't let him. Ive been trying to figure out all day why i declined. I have been going to meetings for the last 2 days they seemed to help a lottle bit but after i left tonight i burst into tears. I spent the last of my money on a hotel room tonight because i knew if i didnt i would be at a bar right now. I dont want to live like this anylonger. Ive been scratching my legs raw for the last few hours and im freaking out and have no other outlet right now. Thank you.", "post_id": "ae3pvw"}, {"question": "I do not have a diagnosis of BPD and I experience this at times (but I\u2019m also a slightly androgynous male).", "comment": "For 95 percent of the time I feel like a cisgender female , I like having my feminine body and my feminine face. But I have these very few moments where I get extreme gender dysphoria  out of nowhere? Like I want to be a man so badly for a short sporadic period of time . But it\u2019s not consistent nor do I like he/him pronouns ..., is it bpd unstable sense of identity ???? Anyone else have this ? This extreme shift in identity where u badly want to live a man\u2019s life and live as one . But then like a match it just burns out???", "post_id": "fq4hju"}, {"question": "end it", "comment": "He left his account open on my computer and I read what was left open. Found out he complains a lot to his friends about me...and calls me really hurtful names. \n\nTo his friends, he says he doesn't want to get married or have kids with me because I am insane. To my face, he says he wants to spend the rest of his life, yadda yadda. I don't understand why he'd lie to my face. I closed out of it and said nothing. It's been a few weeks now. Still bothers me. Not sure what to do.", "post_id": "6ekltd"}, {"question": "Start hunting for a new job now before you have a big gap on your resume.  No need to even put this job on there you've been there so little time. Get out now. ", "comment": "So I just got a nice new job about 4 weeks ago. I was excited about it and it seemed to be a great jumping off point for my career. My boss was well respected outside our corporation, she had a lot of successful meetings and awards, and was seemingly on a path to success where she was going to drag me along.\n\nWell, as the time has passed I realize that she is not at all who people think she is. I took an amateur psychopathy test on her behalf and it spells her out to a T. \n\nWhat pushed me was an event today when she flew off the handle and screamed at a long term co-worker over an incredibly innocuous comment. I have seen small events like this happen, but not to this level. It was full on bullying and disgusting behavior. \n\nI will add that I have been having some strong second thoughts about taking the job after a few incidents that have involved me, and older employees who have worked for her are beaten down and choose not to fight back, which I can understand. \n\nRight now I am feeling like I made a big mistake, taking a job without the full knowledge of what I was getting into. I will spend the weekend applying to jobs to find an escape route. \n\nI know that getting her fired will be very difficult because of her seniority.", "post_id": "2hl7p7"}, {"question": "Hello! Therapist who works on a psych inpatient unit here.\n\nVoluntary psych admissions are a bit more state specific when it comes to whether it comes up in different types of background checks. Some states ask for reporting on it from the hospitals, others don't. The involuntary holds MUST be reported to the appropriate state agency. So, the general idea is, go in on a voluntary hold and your chances of it messing things up regarding background checks in the future are lessened.\n\nThe only real places that can look that information up themselves are places that give out security clearances (so think, the government or military) and specialized vendors who keep databases on these types of things (so gun stores and possibly local police). Graduate schools require you to report these types of things on your own, and any professional licenses you try to obtain will ask you to report these things as well. For any of these, however, what they look for is that you are recognizing the severity of your concerns that led you to an inpatient admission in the first place and that you are/have been actively working on them. \n\nPsychiatric inpatient admissions experiences vary wildly on the facility and area. It's difficult to give you a fully accurate impression of what you might experience just because so many places do it differently. What I always suggest to look for in terms of an inpatient voluntary admission:\n\n1. Does the facility separate voluntary admissions and involuntary admissions? Do they place you according to your clinical presentation? Facilities that keep voluntary admissions in a particular unit tend to have a lower acuity (that's the severity of the various clinical presentations on the unit).\n2. What kind of therapy does the facility offer? Is it only groups, or is individual therapy also something they do? I'd recommend you take advantage of as much therapy time as you can.\n3. Do the staff help clients with case management stuff? That can be helpful if you have some difficulty attaining your basic needs.\n4. Is there any follow-up after discharge? That can help you transition back into the community or into a step-down level of care.\n\nGENERALLY, you will meet with a few therapists, a psychiatrist, and a nurse. You will work together with your treatment team to get you on a treatment regiment, gauge your ability to discharge, and continue working with you to develop insight and prepare you for services after your discharge.", "comment": "Hey! I\u2019ve been in a really hard place for the past few weeks but I\u2019ve been thinking about checking into a hospital for a 72 psych hold voluntarily before it escalates to a place where I harm myself or I get admitted involuntarily. I know involuntary holds go on your record and will be seen on any background checks (med/law school, buying a gun, teaching license, etc.) and I want to know if the same goes for a voluntary hold. Does anyone know?\nAlso, if anyone has experience with a 72 hr psych hold, please share. I don\u2019t know anyone one who\u2019s done this and there\u2019s only so many articles I can read in the internet. \nTIA!", "post_id": "e8g8bi"}, {"question": "I have no idea why you are prescribed most of your medication given your alcohol history, but hey ho.\n\nTo clarify, youre not typically drinking daily and on days you dont drink youre not suffering any significant withdrawal symptoms? If so then you should simply stop. Id still advice seeking professional support though im assuming you are in the US where addiction services are patchy.\n\nIt sounds like you're not dependent on alcohol but definitely using it in a harmful fashion. Good job in choosing to change your lifestyle.", "comment": "Hello, I have made the choice to kick alcohol to the curb because it sucks.  \n\nI am 32, Male, 5'10\", 235lbs, White\n\nI already have a fatty liver and high cholesterol.  I HAVE to quit.  But it is my choice to quit.   \n\nSo, worried about detoxing but I know I am no where near the extreme levels some alcoholics do.  Some people tell me I am not even an alcoholic because I don't \"get the shakes\" and other crap like that. \n\nHowever, I can't tell you my average drinks because I don't track or remember, but a typical night is 6 beers, maybe a shot or two if I am not feeling the buzz.  I can and have killed a pint of whisky in one sitting, no issues, topped with a few beers.  I haven't done that in a while though.  \n\nProblem is, I drink a lot because I have always had a naturally high tolerance for booze.  For the last 10 years, I mainly drank on the weekends, if I drank at all.  But, the last two years I have been increasing and especially over the past year and a half, really increased.  Especially when I am alone, if the wife is out of town, or I, like I am now.  I have killed 6 beers and a few shots the past three nights in a row, in a two or three hour period.  Anyway, how likely am I to detox?  I know I will have withdrawal symptoms regardless, but am I at the level of drinking that should require an MDs assistance? \n\nAlso, while on the subject, what other than Omega 3 can I take to help knock down the fat in my liver a little quicker, tired of feeling like a softball is in there.  I have changed my eating habits drastically, take fenofibrate and omega three (2x a day on the Omega) but is there anything else?  I know the Broccoli family is great at helping as well.  But I am serious as a heart attack here.  I am done.  This shit ends as of 11 pm last night.  \n\nQuit smoking 7 years ago, change my eating habits 6 months ago, now for the finale two.  No more beer, and no more couch potatoe.  More water and more exercise.  \n\nAlso, I drink a shit ton of water.  Close to 3/4 or a full gallon a day, always have.  Honestly, I swear I get hung over from not drinking enough water by the end of the day.  haha, kidding.  But seriously, I know around 3pm if I have not consumed enough water, and drank to much caffiene.  I start to feal like total crap, until I am able to rehydrayte.  \n\nI am also on 150mg of Zoloft, 2 of Xanax, 60 ER Adderall and 150Mls of Testosterone IM injections (weekly)  just fyi.  Yes, it's all legal and all prescribed, and no, I do not abuse any of these medications.  The only abuse I have ever done is Alcohol and Smoking (dipping back in the day too! lol)  Thanks.  I look forward to becoming a member of the healthy society.   ", "post_id": "6yvq3f"}, {"question": "In addition to taking it slow like the other commenter said, try and see if you can find a buddy or your parents to sit in the car and help you as you're learning. It should be someone patient and calm who is willing to slowly go step by step with you.", "comment": "I'm not very good at explaining things, but I'll try my best. I'm 19 years old and it's been time for me to start driving. There's one problem though. I have to admit that I'm scared to get on the road. From my past experience, I have been into a car accident. Luckily, no one was hurt. Ever since that car accident I've been traumatize everytime I try to get behind the wheel. It sucks because people keeps bugging me about getting my driver's license.  What should I do to fix this?", "post_id": "fd14d2"}, {"question": "If I had a good enough memory and was organized enough with my money to tell you I probably wouldn't have ADHD :-D", "comment": "And I don\u2019t mean doctors and medication. \n\nLate fees, subscriptions I didn\u2019t cancel, freaking redbox the money sucking vending machine, impulse purchases, time wasted... The cost of living in a constant state of panic and forgetfulness is astronomical for me. Ugh.", "post_id": "cpvinb"}, {"question": "DBT is extremely time intensive and should be used in combination with a group or at the least, individual sessions focusing on reviewing content and going over difficulties using the skills. An outpatient group is typically ~30 weeks to learn all the skills. They can be taught separately if your therapist has concluded you could benefit from parts of DBT; perhaps your therapist isn't explaining the skills/purpose of using the skills thoroughly? There is also an immense amount of homework in terms of practicing the skills outside of group, so understanding what you're applying and why is crucial. ", "comment": "My therapist is having me try some DBT worksheets and such, but I just cant seem to have any interest in it. What are some hints you have?\n\nI would really like it to work,.", "post_id": "6dptlo"}, {"question": "Yup.  Losing people sucks.  I like your idea about using what she taught you to help others.\n\nYou say you thought she'd be there to help you through losing a loved one, and in a way it sounds like she is, because you're using what she taught you to get through losing her.\n\nIt'll hurt bad for awhile, but it will get easier.  You won't \"get over\" it.  And you'll probably carry her with you for the rest of your life.\n\nI lost my mom, to whom I was very close, when I was 21.  That was 29 years ago.  I still feel her with me, and not a day goes by when she doesn't cross my mind in one way or another.", "comment": "It doesn't hurt any less, it just hurts less frequently.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.  She changed my life.  She helped me so much, and so her words of wisdom and encouragement are always with me.  Whenever I'm stuck or falling into old traps, I think about what she would have told me.  \n\nI'm doing so much better; I really am.  But all of my progress is so bittersweet in that any time I stop to think about how well I'm doing or I find a reason to be proud of myself, all I want in the world is to share it with her, to make her proud and to hear her tell me how proud of me she is.\n\nI want to be a living testament to the power of her healing.  I want to some day use my life experiences to help others and share what she has taught me.  At the memorial service, her husband told me, \"She always said her children were her legacy, and I like to think you all (her patients) fell into that category.  Just remember, now you have to pay it forward.\"\n\nI've never lost anyone close to me before.  Ironically, losing a loved one was something I thought she'd be there to help me through, and she was the first person I loved to pass away.  And it hurts... so fucking bad.", "post_id": "17dbej"}, {"question": "marriage counseling for 3 months and the answer will be obvious", "comment": "Me (46M) married to my wife (37f) for 16yrs.  I was disatisfied with our relationship and sought comfort outside our marriage.  That person I have found knew I was married, as that what she was seeking (f38).  A relationship has blossomed against our original intentions.\n\nOver the years I have allowed my wife to have casual sexual relationships.  In the 16yrs she has admitted to 4.  I get it, it dont bother me.  I have had 2 total, inluding latest.  \n\nUnfortunatly, my wife is very jealous and would never let me have the same freedoms as I have given her, so mine where unacknowledged till last nite.\n\nWe have had 2 serious talks about our relationship in the past.  The first one I asked her to make changes, as I decided I didnt want to move on if she wasnt going to change her behavior.  She has made changes.  I have not.  I still do destructive things to our relationship(such as continuing with new girl) based on past experiance and negative thoughts about my wife, even though she has made changes\n\nI am trying to move forward, like my wife has in some cases..but I am stuck.  I will/need to o counciling for that.\n\nThey question I have is, do I really want to stay married?  Can we move forward?  I am trying to put the other person out of my mind, as last thing she wants is to be the reason why I left my wife.  I know my  decsion has to be made independantly of the new person.  But I am so damn conflicted\n\nI really dont want to toss away my 16yrs..but I cant continue in the same relationship with my wife.  The other girl would gladly have a relationship with me, and we already kinda do..its so much more than sex.  \n\nAND the sex is so much better, communication with her is much easier, we speak the same language and feel generally the same about of lot of things.  I enjoy being with her, I enjoy our intamacy.\n\nI dont think I have ever \"made love\" till I was with the new person!  The passion, the connection!   I had always discounted people that spoke of making love vs sex.  Now I know, I understand.\n\nDownside, she has young kids..and I am almost done and I feel I want to be done with kids..  Thats the only downside I got..I think\n\nIf my wife said she had met someone new..and was leaving.. i think I would feel relieved.  \n\nWe have commited to trying.  I must end my relationship with the other person.  I did not inform her of much of an emotional connection there was. \n\nMy wife is fighting very hard to keep this relationship.  She is emotionally devistated at the thought of me leaving, and that kills me.  Is it the reason I am staying married?  I think so..\n\nI think this became a ramble..\n\ntl;dr:  Met new girl..she is awesome, cant decided if I want to stay married.\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "5qpofq"}, {"question": "You're better off never talking about exes", "comment": "We only have a general idea about the exes, and that's from info from a mutual friend. Is that normal? We pretty much just focus on ourselves. Great relationship though.\n\nAlso his mother told me somethings about his exes and how she didn't like them.", "post_id": "71kida"}, {"question": "Once you do it once it will get easier and more natural.... So, just do it.", "comment": "I've been dating my girlfriend since summer started. She's actually my first since I'm the most nervous guy on the planet. It's been many months now and all I've gotten to is hugging her! I've gone on walks with her, gone to the movies with her, gone to dances with her, but I haven't even held her hand, let alone kissed her! I can also feel that she is also getting frustrated that I'm not escalating our relationship further.\n\nReddit, help me! What do I do?", "post_id": "1sclpq"}, {"question": "This was fascinating, and I really related. Thanks so much for sharing. \n\nIt's interesting to me that you mention cults. In the past I've thought people with Aspergers might be more prone to cults because of naivety and an affinity for rituals and defined rules/structure. But I agree about the relative immunity to groupthink. So now I'm wondering if people with Aspergers would instead be less likely to join cults? Or maybe it's just that people with Aspergers would be vulnerable to cults for different reasons than NT? E.g., people with Aspergers might be most drawn by the stated ideology of the cult (especially if it's something that sounds really good in theory) and maybe their belief in the cult leader specifically (who are often very charismatic and charming), whereas NTs are more drawn by the group aspect and their desire to conform. Would people with Aspergers more readily defect from a cult and more readily detect that they are in a cult? I feel like this would be such an interesting area of study to better understand ASD vs. NT social drives!", "comment": "I was thinking a lot about the current situation in the United States, and was doing a bit of Googling out of curiosity. I did a search on the concept of \"group-think\" (social conformity behavior), and why it seems to be such a foreign experience to me.\n\nI came across a Quora post that really resonated with me. Here's a link to the post, but I'll also copy the response that really hit me:\n\n* [https://www.quora.com/Why-are-autistic-people-less-susceptible-to-groupthink](https://www.quora.com/Why-are-autistic-people-less-susceptible-to-groupthink)\n\nIn particular, its the second response that I want to highlight here. I don't necessarily agree with everything he writes here, but I will **BOLD** the parts that really stand out to my experience:\n\n​\n\n>Harry McKracken, Filmmaker, Inventor, Entrepreneur, Father & Husband  \n>  \n>Answered Sep 7, 2018 \u00b7 Author has 73 answers and 271.2k answer views  \n>  \n>  \n>  \n>I\u2019m  an Aspie, a scientist, an inventor, an engineer, a filmmaker but I\u2019m  not a neurobiologist. That being said, I doubt most neurobiologists know  the answer. So, this is my theory\u2026it isn\u2019t science\u2026but it is a sound  theory.  \n>  \n>Aspies have \u201cmind blindness.\u201d We struggle to pick up on the nonverbal cues that  tell us how someone else is feeling. **We tend not to notice group behavior. And we tend to make choices based on informational cues rather  than social cue.**  \n>  \n>Is this a genetic disability or a genetic superability? It depends on your point of view. It also depends on context.  \n>  \n>**If  you have a group of teenagers trying to passive-aggressively urge  someone to smoke a cigarette, our \u201cmind blindness\u201d protects us. We\u2019re  usually the twelve year old kids saying \u201cSmoking will kill you.\u201d or \u201cI  don\u2019t want cancer.\u201d** The non-autistic person KNOWS thats factually  correct\u2026but they can FEEL the passive-aggressive pressure to fit in.  They can SENSE the group\u2019s behavior and the groups demand to CONFORM. **We  can\u2019t or we feel it so remotely it doesn\u2019t drown out our rational mind.**  \n>  \n>However,  there is a flip side to this. There are situations where social  conformity is DEMANDED and violating it looks EVIL. **Someone has died,  everyone knows to wear black, dress up and look sad even if the person  was a jerk and everyone hated that person. The Aspie decides it isn\u2019t  worth the effort to dress up, faking emotions is a waste of time and why  should this event change the facts of the past that this person was a  jackass?**  \n>  \n>\u201cWhat a cold-hearted, cruel person!\u201d is the exclamation.  \n>  \n>It\u2019s  the same thing going on in the brain. Its the same neurology guiding  the decisions being made. But, the context is radically different.  \n>  \n>Most  Westerners have a \u201cbinary bias.\u201d We think in good-bad, left-right, etc.  We often describe ourselves as having strengths AND weaknesses, as if  they are mutually exclusive of each other. **I\u2019ve come to see this in a  more Zen-like way as I have aged; my strengths are my weaknesses and my  weaknesses are my strengths.** I have a duty to understand context and  tailor how I apply my strengths/weaknesses to that situation.  \n>  \n>I  am built the way I am built. That\u2019s my fate. But, I can choose in any  moment of any event how to maneuver\u2026like a rudder moving a very large,  slow-moving boat\u2026that\u2019s my choice. **I choose to not give into social  pressure and group think when it is based on something evil, immoral or  likely to result in long term negative consequences.** I choose to abide  by social pressure and group think when the results are positive or  neutral. And my journey as a human, because I\u2019m just as human as a  non-autistic person despite the non-autistic\u2019s desire to put me in a box  and mark me as disabled, is to slowly\u2026ever so slowly\u2026get better and  better at distinguishing when to conform and when I can be myself.  \n>  \n>**If  you are non-autistic, then you have the opposite problem and I have a  lot of empathy for your mental disability.** **It must be painful and  frustrating to know you are prone to being convinced to do stupid things  simply because you desperately want to be liked by a group of  acquaintances and strangers.**  \n>  \n>**I  cannot imagine the mental anguish of a 12 year old non-Aspie, wanting  to be cool, wanting to be liked, not aware that the person they admire  isn\u2019t a true friend, oblivious to how short-lived this relationship will  be and that anyone pushing them to drink alcohol or smoke or do drugs  is not a real friend. I have empathy for their parents and the anguish  they go through, fearful their child will \u201cdo something stupid\u201d because  they\u2019re hanging out with a new group of friends.**  \n>  \n>**From my point of view, that\u2019s the mental disability. From yours\u2026its normal.**\n\n​\n\nThis resonated with my own life experiences so much. I've always, as long as I can remember, been basically immune to peer pressure. I found that other people who succumb to peer pressure were \"weird\" to me. I couldn't relate.\n\nI wanted to have friends and be a part of social activity too, but I don't understand the incentive to hurt myself (smoking, drinking, etc) in order to \"fit in.\" It just seemed stupid to me, and I couldn't understand why other kids would do stuff like that.\n\nAs he says at the end of the response, to me, that ability to be molded influenced by others feels like a mental disability to me... but NT people that as \"normal\" behavior, and label my behavior as \"disordered.\"\n\nLike he says, \"**It must be painful and  frustrating to know you are prone to being convinced to do stupid things  simply because you desperately want to be liked by a group of  acquaintances and strangers.\"**\n\nAnd yeah, that's kinda how I always felt as a kid, and even now. But being older now, I can look at it all a bit more wide-lens, in a sense. What I mean is: rationally, I can understand why conformity might be useful in some situations.\n\nFor example, as a kid, a lot of my peer group got really into skateboarding. I thought skateboards were cool, but I also didn't want to break a bone, so I never got into it personally. As a result, I got left behind by my peer group. I understand how NT kids might have put aside their fear of broken bones in order to \"fit in\" -- and the result would have been learning a new skill, making friends, and having bonding experiences -- a positive side to conformity.\n\nBut me, as a kid, I was oblivious to this. Only now looking back does it seem obvious. But my brain just doesn't work that way naturally.\n\nLikewise, the same with smoking cigarettes and other \"normal\" substance related stuff as a teenager. I was definitely \"that kid\" who would say \"smoking is bad for your health and causes cancer,\" and found myself unable to relate to why anyone my age would find it appealing. But it seems NT people are willing to hurt themselves to \"fit in\" with certain crowds. This same concept pretty much entirely explains \"hazing rituals\" in colleges and other exclusive social groups -- again, all behaviors that are totally alien to me, but I can kinda understand them \"objectively\" at a distance.\n\nAnd this also basically explains why as a kid, I often felt like watching other kids/people was like watching an animal documentary -- Like I wasn't a part of the same species -- because their mentality and conformity was entirely alien to me.\n\nBeing 29 years old now, looking back on my life, I can see that some of my happiest most fun moments were when I \"let loose\" and conformed to a group. But again, just due to the structure of my brain, even in those moments, I still had to \"rationally decide\" to let loose and conform -- it's just not a behavior that comes naturally to me.\n\nI have to use **real mental energy** to make a decision about conforming or not -- and when you realize this, it makes ***total perfect sense*** why socializing is so mentally draining for people like us. Because socializing is still an overly intellectualized and rational experience to us -- it just doesn't come \"naturally\" like it does for NTs (for better or worse).\n\nI feel like my lack of group-think and inability to lie is at the heart of basically all of my social struggles throughout my life. Because the constant lying and conforming is the most baffling of NT behavior to me. But I'm also naturally able to see how that same \"advantage\" also hurts NTs (its how cults and other stuff are formed), and can also be a \"disadvantage\" for them.\n\nKnowing this now, what do I do with this new found realization?\n\nI'm not sure. But I feel like a flood gate of new understanding was just opened for me.\n\nWhat are your thoughts and experiences on this matter?", "post_id": "gvxjfl"}, {"question": "If you've stayed in touch it will go well. Just be yourself and trust your instincts. The right words will come out.", "comment": "When I was young, my dad and my mum began to have issues within their marriage. However instead of being able to fix it, my dad stayed in the house less and less until eventually he stopped coming altogether. \n\nI've always had a close relationship with him since I was young and I kept in contact with him through email, and he does send me gifts and such for my birthday. \n\nThe same cannot be said for my brother, who hates dad for abandoning us. He rejected all attempts at connecting with dad, and still refuses to talk about him. I suppose, in a way, I'm the only person who still talks to my dad and maintains a family bond out of my family.\n\nMy dad has been trying to arrange a setting for me and him to meet up, perhaps eat at a restaurant. But although I'm happy to meet him, the lack of contact other than digital makes me anxious for what to do/say on the day. We haven't talked or met in around 5 years in real life, and I've experienced puberty and my body has matured throughout those years. I'm afraid he'll be thrown off by it, and it'll be the most uncomfortable meeting. Can anyone offer advice on what to talk about/what to do to repel any nerves on it?", "post_id": "6fhk9m"}, {"question": "A primarily doctor may treat anxiety. Whether yours is comfortable and knowledgeable depends on the doctor, but it\u2019s reasonable to ask.", "comment": "\n20F, 5\u20198, 145lbs, Indian\n\nPrimary Complaint: Anxiety\n\nDuration: 7-10 years (was bullied all throughout elementary and middle school) \n\nCurrent medical issues: Iron deficiency anemia\n\nMedications: None\n\ndrugs/smoking/drinking: Never used\n\nI have an appointment coming up this Friday. I want to talk to my doctor about the anxiety Ive had for years.  It\u2019s through Kaiser, and coincidentally, without mentioning it to anyone I know, I keep coming across bad stories about Kaisers mental health services. I don\u2019t want to reach out and try if it\u2019s going to be for nothing.\n\nI don\u2019t know if I should bother talking about depression because it may just stem from my anxiety. Anxiety is what I want to treat first.", "post_id": "dz7wnq"}, {"question": "It would be advisable to address the gambling; if you're feeling emotionally vulnerable, you're at great risk for the gambling problem to grow stronger until it completely takes over your life.  Please explore local resources, as there is often help for gambling problems that folks simply aren't aware exists; let us know if you need guidance in that area.", "comment": "There are so many interlinked problems in my life I don't know where to begin: I don't feel loved by anyone at the moment, so I want to find a girl to be in a relationship with, but most girls don't like dating guys who are unemployed, possible gambling addicts who drink and smoke like a chimney in the rain. I could find a job, and I have been trying, but after upwards of a few thousand job applications over 6 years, 99.99% of which come back with a form letter has crushed my spirit.\n\nEven after finding work it's usually somewhere that gives me panic attacks and anxiety, which because I haven't kept in check for a long time means I've gotten to the ultimate catch 22, where I'm too anxious to find a new doctor to give me a referral to a therapist and a script.\n\nI hate being alone so much. It's literally painful. Constant, 24/7 level 3 physical pain for months on end, that drinking, gambling and spending money solves for about ten minutes and then I feel twice as bad. However, all of my actions just drive me further and further from people. Literally half of my life so far has been spent with an absolute crushing sense of loneliness, where I often don't feel real, like this world isn't real and that my body is just a shell. I fantasise about someone saving me, but hey, who the fuck who want to save me?", "post_id": "1emngv"}, {"question": "You can always ask your GP. Many are probably comfortable with treating acne; it's a very common complaint. Your GP might refer you to a dermatologist if your acne is particularly bad or if standard first-line treatments aren't effective.", "comment": "I just curious if family docs commonly give meds/ treatments for acne or if I should see a dermatologist. I've never gotten my medical treatment before so idk what it's like\n\n19 female 125lbs", "post_id": "e84r2e"}, {"question": "Rather than focusing on what you think may be the cause of he behavior, you may get further by focusing on how it causes distress in her life . What is happening at work?\n\nI don't know enough to say what it going on. I don't know her background and history,  and have never observed here . My opinion is just an idea based on what you shared :  The examples you shared give me the impression that she may be trying to connect with others.  There is nothing particularly grandiose or exciting,  but these stories are relatable because everyone understands the reference and is in the loop.  It sounds like a way to stay relevant and to not worry about telling a boring story. There is a lot of intensity in these stories! At least in her mind , she always has something interesting going on.\n\nAnother reason I think this may be a misguided attempt to connect is that it works! At least one relative (you) picks up the phone over and over and listens.  You look at her social media , too . If these stories are gutting attention (,even an eye roll), that is working for her.", "comment": "My aunt (57) has always been the dramatic type but it seems like it\u2019s gotten beyond the typical crisis/drama queen behavior. I just don\u2019t know if it\u2019s to the point of suggesting therapy to her. \nShe has always had some attention seeking qualities but nothing to cause more than a few eye rolls at family reunions because she is also very kind  and generous. Over the past couple of years though  it has become impossible to have a conversation with her without there being some (perceived ) crisis or drama. Much of it over things beyond her control, not her responsibility or very minimal I.e. a step-grandchild\u2019s 2nd grade poor report card required a middle of the working day emergency phone call to discuss what an awful job her parents are doing ( they\u2019re not) and how she needs to live with them and she will fix it (not gonna happen) Every time there is a major local or national news story she has to somehow interject herself into it and call/post about it. ( \u201cI can\u2019t sleep!! My friend\u2019s son (who I\u2019ve never met) lives (somewhere) near Minneapolis! I hope he\u2019s ok!!\u201d And I cant count the number of tearful phone calls regarding the acquaintance who had Covid-19 and was critically ill. Yes it\u2019s tragic but I thought she was describing a close friend or family member based on her reaction. A plane had to make an emergency landing and she had \u201cjust flown that airline last month!! It could have been me on there!!\u201d True stories. \nShe also knows a semi-famous person and for years her cover photo has been of her and (semi celebrity) not her husband or family. \nI know she\u2019s an adult and her behavior isn\u2019t malicious or dangerous but I know it\u2019s unhealthy and is interfering with her work and her husband doesn\u2019t want to talk about it. \nIs there a term for this? Is it a personality trait or disorder? Should she be getting help? Thanks in advance for any advice.", "post_id": "guej4r"}, {"question": "First and foremost, if you think you have this, go see a professional ASAP. Bipolar disorder can wreck havoc in your life if it is not being actively managed.", "comment": "I have never truly felt centered. im 24 and everything ive ever attempted has failed or got messed up. im starting college soon so i can actually pursue my dreams but something has come up. i am someone who lives a very social life, yet i have the hardest times making connections with new people, even in environments that totally encourage it (raves, music festivals). I have become more aware of the increasing amount of social awkwardness that is accompanying me and I have recently took some test and did some research and i am almost positive i am bipolar. i probably always have been, and i just want to live a normal life and have normal social human interaction and not have to feel awkward.\n\nim starting with meditating more, i know thats the first step.\n\ndoes anyone have any suggestions on human behavior or something i should look into reading?", "post_id": "1rp4qb"}, {"question": "Images are always displayed with the same orientation. For saggital planes (think looking at a slice vertically between front and back) it\u2019s always with the right side of the body on the left side of the image, as if the viewer and the patient are facing each other.", "comment": "23 F 170 cm 50 kg. \n\nSorry if this is a dumb question. I have mild scoliosis as you will see in the scan, and I have an exercise to do on one side only depending on the direction of the curve. However the curve isn't visible on the outside, and I can't tell how the scan is oriented. [Here's the screenshot of the scan.](https://imgur.com/wDnP9aQ)\n\n​", "post_id": "b4wb31"}, {"question": "that's a good approach. make sure it's comfortable. ", "comment": "Hi Reddit came here to ask for your wise advice. Since I have very few people who I can talk about this without being judged. Here I go...\n\n\n\nSo I've been with my girlfriend for four years now and I really truly love her, but the thing is we've never had sex... I know what you might be thinking \"4 YEARS & NO MOTHAFUCKIN SEX?\" but it is really hard for me to get physical for personal reasons.\n\n\n\nWe are both virgins (as far as I know) and I truly love her and I have finally feel ready for the good stuff, but the truth is that I'm really scared and this is why.\n\n\n\nFirst of all I have no idea how, when nor when. How can I start dropping the hints without being so awkward?(important to say we've never seen each other completely naked) I really want her to be as comfortable as she wants without being pressured. Where should we do it? and when? We never seem to be in a convenient place, and I want it to be as romantic as possible, maybe some candles and shit you know?\n\n\n\nSecond, I am really scared of pregnancy, I know that chances are really low, but what if she actually gets pregnant? I don't know if she would abort (and I don't know if I would either) and I don't want to fuck her life up with a child (she is still in college studying to be a doctor), she deserves the best life. So should I just finish off outside or what?\n\n\n\nThird and most important. She scares the hell out of me, her expectations and her feelings. I don't know if it's true, but I've heard throughout all my life that sex hurt women on their first time and that it is pretty uncomfortable . I don't want her to get hurt and I want her to have a hell out of a time. So... ladies is that true? Did it really hurt the first time? Is there anything I can do so it doesn't hurt? What can I do so she has a good time? what do you ladies enjoy? I am really scared of what she thinks afterwards I just want her to feel respected and loved. How can I do that?\n\n\n\nReddit I've reached the point in where I don't care how fun is it for me, but I want it to be perfect for her. Any advice is really appreciated. Thanks for hearing me out.", "post_id": "5o1mmx"}, {"question": "Slow your roll, son.\n\nA date is good, but that's all it is.  You're literally at *step one* of the Get to Know You Game.  The purpose of the date is to learn if you enjoy each other's company, and there's nothing wrong with finding out that you don't.  Lower your expectations of what constitutes a \"good date.\"\n\nAuthenticity is key.  Talk about the things that interest you, don't stress about appearing \"cool\", and let things flow naturally.  You might be nervous; most people are.  That's fine and just let it happen.\n", "comment": "I dont know how to approach things now, I find her extremely attractive and feel like I could be in a relationship with her.  we havent gone out yet but i dont want to screw things up, any advice on what to do?", "post_id": "1l7753"}, {"question": "Keep untangling the trap and trust that you\u2019ll break free one day. My current streak is 250 times longer than my 2nd longest streak. ", "comment": "Days 3, 4 and 5 seem to be the days I drink. I think that's when the \"voice in my head\" - I call her Al - starts to panic. Al starts playing all kinds of head games with me. \n\nSo yeah. I haven't reached Day 4 in, like, a month. Yesterday, I commented to promise myself I'd see Day 4.\n\nSo now, I'm promising myself I'll reach Day 5. Al's probably going to start playing all kinds of tricks, though. Maybe some yoga and a good run will shut her up.\n\nNot today, Al.", "post_id": "aavwh6"}, {"question": "you have to respect people's wishes for space.  it's hard to know what's going on in anyone's head.", "comment": "I was seeing this one girl over the summer and everything was going good and then one day she went back to her ex boyfriend. About a week and a half ago she messaged me saying that she missed me and that she really did like me. We talked one day and she said it was a huge mistake by leaving me and that she thought about me a lot. Then we started to see each other again and it was going great, we went to a party and she was hugging me and holding hands the whole time, I met her family again and at the ends of the night we were kissing. About last week wednesday she started to act weird and distant, when I would get close to her or touch her she would move away. Something happened to one of her fam members and she started to act even more distant. I haven't spoken to her since friday and she told me we were moving too fast and that she needs space. Does anyone know what this can mean?", "post_id": "5pxleg"}, {"question": "Sounds like you have a strong pro-BPD bias. Some clinicians never use BPD as a diagnosis because of the increased chance of hardship and death to the client. Others don't do it because they aren't sure BPD exists as described in diagnostic manuals. Many other therapists won't diagnose a PD within the first year or two of therapy because they have to work through the other possibility. \n\nEveryone has a bias with BPD, just that some have a bias away from it. \n\nThat being said. Make sure you get a shrink with DBT knowledge/ training", "comment": "I went to a therapist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. She was great, but when I mentioned my questions about BPD and possibly getting diagnosed she got very apprehensive. She said she tries to refrain from diagnosing people with personality disorders because it is a lifelong issue that is difficult to cure. When I tried to explain my concerns that I fit all 9 symptoms of BPD she basically told me that I just don't seem like I have BPD from talking to me. I have been reading a lot online about the stigma behind BPD, even in the mental health community, and I'm not sure what to do. \n\nHas anyone else experienced bias from mental health professionals in the beginning of their treatment? How did you get passed it?", "post_id": "7lkpm5"}, {"question": "Hello! It can be difficult sometimes weeding out the type of help you want and who you might want to see to talk about some mental health concerns you are having. Here are some tips to narrow down your potential selection a bit:\n\n1. Think about what specifically you are looking to get help FOR. Often times people will say \"depression\" \"anxiety\" \"anger\" etc. and not elaborate further. Really getting specific here will give you language you will want to look for in looking through professional sites/profiles and asking them questions. For example, with something like \"depression\"- \"I want to feel less sad\" \"I want to learn ways to get more sleep\" \"I want to get interested in things again\" \"I want to think less about dying.\" etc. Keep those key-words handy.\n2. What does your financial situation look like? How might you be wanting to pay for services? Do you have/want to use insurance? Sliding scale cash pay ok? Do you need free services? That will greatly narrow down who you are able to see and will also influence the places you will go to look for potential providers. Note that sliding scale cash pay will allow you to see the widest variety of people. \n3. Do you have any ideas about the type of PERSON you might be comfortable talking to? Maybe a specific age range? Male or female? Maybe from a particular spiritual or racial background? Someone who states they have experience with your specific concerns? That will also greatly narrow down. Also, think about how FAR you are willing to travel for services; some zip codes have a higher number of providers than others. \n\nTaking all of these into account, you will weed out 85-90% of the hundreds you might find through a simple Google search. From there, you can start to peruse the list of people that are left. I recommend sending them an e-mail or calling them to ask about how they operate or look through their websites to see which of them pique your interest.\n\nSome potential sites you can use to help filter out your selections:\n\n[www.psychologytoday.com](https://www.psychologytoday.com)\n\n[www.goodtherapy.org](https://www.goodtherapy.org)\n\nYou can type in your zip code, and then select all the appropriate filters from the answers to the above questions, and it will show you the ones who meet your criteria. Note that not everyone is on these sites, but I would say a good portion of them in the US probably are on at least one.\n\nAlso, if you are looking to use your insurance, hop on your client portal site and do a search of providers in the area who take your insurance policy. Be sure to CONFIRM WITH THEM that they do before scheduling any appointment. You can cross reference what you find on your insurance portal with their website or psychologytoday/goodtherapy page. \n\nOne more thing, especially if you are looking for lower cost services, if you have a local behavioral health facility, sometimes they offer outpatient services. If they are federally funded/non-profit, they generally have more of an ability to give you a generous sliding scale rate (aka super cheap) for services. Do note, though, that these places are often booked solid and you may have a long wait period in getting an appointment/scheduling follow-ups.", "comment": "USA\n\nI'm looking for help, but I'm so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. Everywhere I go either lists dozens/hundreds of professionals and I don't know which one to pick, or they just say \"If you're distressed, reach out for help\". I'm trying to reach out for help and I don't know how. What do I do? Where do I go?", "post_id": "da0fjc"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve had depression since I was eleven.  It\u2019s really hard to live with but with therapy, medication, and support from loved ones we can do it.  There is so much to life.  ", "comment": "Mine started 6 years ago, I want to kill myself because this girl I love which was the last thing I had to live for won't come out anymore. \n\nEveryday is a struggle and I feel physically sick of the thought of never getting this girl and the thought of having to go through another day of pain and suffering.\n\nAll I want is a normal life like others around me, I want to be able to go out with friends and this girl and be happy.\n\nI want to live but not in this way only with a girlfriend who loves me. \n\nPlease let me know your story, I'm so low right now it hurts.", "post_id": "9puzea"}, {"question": "People on reddit are very afraid, for some reason, about speaking up pro-actively about what they want and need, and asking the other what they feel and what they want and need. So the answer is NOW~ Good luck", "comment": "I met this guy about a month ago and we've been seeing each other regularly, problem is he's only here visiting his family for the summer. So far the relationship is really good, nothing is official but we have a lot of fun, communicate regularly and when we hangout it's amazing. \n\nI'm just wondering when I should bring up the topic of exclusivity and possibly seeing where things go after the summer is over? Is this even something I should bring up or should I just enjoy the rest of the summer with him before he leaves and wait for him to bring it up? \n\nTL;DR: Been hanging out with a guy for a month who's only in town visiting his parents for the summer, would like to continue the relationship, how/when/if do I bring it up? ", "post_id": "6meum8"}, {"question": "Running out of Vyvanse might not be good, but it's not going to be an immediate problem. It's also one of the controlled substances that people show up trying to acquire. If you haven't already, I'd try tailoring your search and seeing if there's any clinic or provider willing to just prescribe lamotrigine. That's the one that's a bigger problem both if you run out and if you need to restart it.\n\nOtherwise I have no solution for you. Someone needs to prescribe or you don't have medications.", "comment": "Sorry this isn't your typical question. \n\nF20, 5'5, 110lbs, mixed (hispanic/ashkenazi jewish)\n\n​\n\nI have Bipolar 1 Affective disorder and I've been on Lamotrigine (100mg interval)  for a while now and vyvanse 40mg for 4 years now. \n\n​\n\nMy provider will not answer my calls or emails and I'm about to run out of my medication and I'm scared. He was the only one I could see in such a short notice when I first moved here and he's been pretty awful. Every single provider is booked for months here. \n\n​\n\nHe never really remembers who I am (confuses details of patients with me, has the wrong notes, tries to sell me weird supplements and books) \n\n​\n\nI don't know what to do in this situation. I called all of the free clinics in my state (hawaii) \n\nand all of them said they couldn't write me a prescription.  \n\n​\n\n​\n\nI don't know what to do please help. I'm in between a support system, visa, and I'm applying to university. ", "post_id": "9m1vvg"}, {"question": "Sometimes it can take weeks for delirium to fully resolve, and it's not always obvious what the trigger was. It could have been a self-limited infection that did it, but the answer may never be clear. Still, with more time most people return to how they were prior.", "comment": "My aging Dad lives independently, is healthy, and hasn't shown any cognitive issues aside from some minor memory things, which likely go along with aging.  10 days ago he was found in delirium in the hallway of his apartment complex, unable to open his door and not making sense.  He was brought to hospital, where the delirium remained for about 3 days.  Every test has been run, and there is yet no answer as to why this happened.  Urinalysis, blood test, chest x-ray, CT, and contrast MRI all came back clear, except for a small spot on his lungs, which they later believed to be early pneumonia.  IV antibiotics, fluids, and oxygen cleared that up as well as balanced his electrolytes, yet his still remains partially delusional.  He has been on Haldol for most of this time, which lessened the agitation, but left him very flat.  He was taken off Haldol yesterday, and I noticed an increase in the strange things he was saying (delusions: connections between things and patterns that don't make sense).  There just seems to be no answer as to why this happened or what is wrong.  I do know that prior to him being found in the hallway, he had not eaten, drank, or slept for around 24 hours.  Here is the required information.  Any help is so appreciated.\n\n​\n\nAge: 80\n\nSex: Male\n\nHeight: 5'6'\n\nWeight: \\~145 lbs\n\nRace: Caucasian\n\nDuration of complaint: 10 days\n\nExisting medical issues: High blood pressure, sleep apnea\n\nCurrent meds: blood pressure regulation, uses a CPAP machine for sleep", "post_id": "ajqlyf"}, {"question": "What do you regret most or wish you had done in your lifetime?\n\nWhat are you proud that you did in your lifetime?\n\n", "comment": "My gram turns 96 at the end of the month...since I am one of the family who loves to talk with her, I was trying to think of good things to ask her. She's a feminist, voter, singer, artists and worked when most women her age were home-makers. Her parents were both Finnish immigrants, and she is bilingual. So what would you ask?", "post_id": "48y1ac"}, {"question": "a legitimate concern. will he grow like you are.", "comment": "So I'm in college and have been dating this guy who also goes to school with me for one year. In my last relationship, my ex was very ambitious and studying was his #1 priority (didn't work out bc he cheated). Current boyfriend overall treats me well, takes me out, doesn't get crazy jealous and gives me plenty of space to do my own thing. But it bothers me so much that he rarely studies until the last second and does the bare minimum to get by. I am graduating in a year, and he would be too if he didn't have to retake multiple classes from his freshman year (before I met him) and has a bad gpa from that. He hasn't gotten anything below a B since I've known him, but he still barely does anything and only takes the minimum each semester for full time. This being said, he has worked at the same place for over 2 years (20-25 hours/wk)? Let me make it clear that he lives at home so he doesn't pay for living expenses and his parents bought his car. He has money of his own for extra spending and food/gas but his mom has plenty of money and would willingly help him out with that stuff too if he didn't work as much as he did. But it is not a very demanding job and it has nothing to do with what he is studying. He always makes the excuse that he's tired or he just doesn't care and goes and hangs out with friends a lot. He just got another job a few months ago but it is only another couple days a week for half a day, and it is a family thing so he can choose and pick when he goes. When I try to tell him he needs to study he just blows me off, and when I told him he should find an internship and make that a priority over his job he took offense and said it's important that he's consistent at the same job. I'm fully dependent on my parents financally but I take a heavy load every semester and get good grades. I'm worried because I'm making plans to apply to grad schools while he is just floating by and who knows if he will even graduate a semester after I am. Am I overthinking this? If not, is there another way I could gently encourage him to prioritize better?", "post_id": "6avbth"}, {"question": "Well done! Proud of you!", "comment": "I have dealt with depression for almost a year, and I started struggling with self-harm about 5 months ago. I found cutting to be like pressing a release valve, and I began to resort to it whenever I felt particularly miserable. For a long time, I thought that it wasn't really that bad, since as long as I didn't tell anyone, I wasn't doing any harm to anyone except myself. \n\nIn the past month, I have been trying really hard to remind myself that I need to take care of myself, and my health is just as important as that of the people around me. It has been very difficult - I still think about cutting when I am feeling really bad and I often struggle to realize that the self-deprecating thoughts that constantly float around in my head are not true, and I do have at least some sort of worth. \n\nMy best friends have also been incredibly supportive, and I appreciate that a lot. They remind me that I don't have to struggle alone, and that they believe in me to get better. I am proud of myself for managing to avoid resorting to self-harm for at least one month. It may not seem like that much time, but nevertheless I am glad to have made some progress.", "post_id": "cq59mv"}, {"question": "Ask your therapist, as this may vary by location and license .\n\nI can only hospitalized someone if they have a plan and intent to harm themselves.  In the US, most hospitals don't have the capacity to take people in general,  there is not much they can do for someone who is not at risk for immediate harm .\n\nYour suicidal thoughts are important to discuss and process . I always feel really sad when someone is scared to bring it up. In most circumstances,  if you say you have suicidal thoughts with no plan or intent , there is no issue . A therapist will also want to know the reasons you won't do it right now and what you can do to stay safe if something changes .", "comment": "With everything that\u2019s been going on in my life recently (covid and lots and lots of personal stuff) I\u2019ve been suicidal but I really doubt that I\u2019m ever going to act on it. I don\u2019t want to hurt my family and give them one more thing to have to deal with, and I\u2019m absolutely terrified of failing and being sent back to a psych hospital. \n\nWith that being said, is there any way for me to tell my therapist that without her sending me to a hospital? I was already in one once and it didn\u2019t help at all, it was traumatizing because I was there against my will (and would be this time too if she sent me, I\u2019m assuming), it didn\u2019t help, and the only outcome that I got from it is that I\u2019ve been too AFRAID to attempt in fear of being sent back there in case I fail\n\nBasically my problem is that because I\u2019m afraid of my therapist sending me to the hospital, it\u2019s limiting what I can talk to her about, and it\u2019s things that I really want to talk about. Plus because of my current situation, I can\u2019t go to the hospital because I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d be able to finish my school work and I\u2019m supposed to be graduating this semester \n\nTo;dr if I explain to my therapist that I\u2019m suicidal but feel like I\u2019m VERY unlikely to attempt, and that I\u2019m VERY afraid of being sent to the hospital for multiple reasons, will she have to send me? Not being able to tell her is limiting things that I would like to talk to her about\n\n\nedit: I don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually, but thank you all. Everyone had valuable things to say that made me realize that telling her is the best option, and I am going to do so at our next session. Thank you all", "post_id": "fwq80o"}, {"question": "the best way to get over someone is to cease contact. otherwise you're constantly pouring salt on a healing wound.", "comment": "Hey guys, my girlfriend broke up with me about a week ago. A little background story:\nI'm away in a different town for college, and so is she. We met at the beginning of school and hit things off. We have been girlfriend and boyfriend for quite some time now and i thought things were great. Until, she called me one night and broke up with me. Reason : She said that she still had feelings or thinks she still loves her ex boyfriend. She dated this guy for 2 years prior to us and broke up with him about 2 months before we starting seeing each other. She told me that she broke up with him because she felt that she didn't love him for the last 3 months of their relationship and only thought of him as her best friend  & because she was moving away to college. The thing is, I'm new to serious relationships and would consider this girl my first love. Honestly I believe I have become addicted to this girl, actually addicted. She is always running through my mind no matter what I do, sometimes distracting. She told me she loved me before I did actually, it was a pretty big deal and I love her too. Everything has been going great for a while but she said that she felt guilty having feelings for 2 people and was nostalgic of her past relationship. She did not want to hold on to me, even though she loves me or if she feels this way towards 2 people. She  felt guilty and didn't want to hurt me in the long run if those feelings never went away for her ex.  She said she had to be selfish and wants to be single for a while to figure things out. Now, were both back in our hometowns away from each other and I'm pretty sure she's going to hang out with him. Well actually, I am sure she is. Hanging out with him is just going to make her love him more. She says she's not going to be with me or him. Which makes sense since he lives far away also. Do i just forget about us ever getting back together or move on? The only thing keeping me thinking were going to get back together one day is all the great memories we had, how could she just throw that all away?\n\nWhen we are together we are so good together and the love is there so how could she feel this away about him again? I understand they had a long relationship, but she doesn't see him ever so how do those feelings come back? \n \nI just do not understand how she can regain that love for him when she has been with me the whole time and have been hitting things off. \n\nSee, in my head I still feel like we have something that shouldn't be thrown away so fast. I want to get over her but theres still a part of me telling me to hold on. I always question myself whether she really loved me or just had really strong feelings for me. How could she just throw me out of her life like that if she truly loved me? I understand she felt guilty and had to be selfish but so many questions go through my head.  I'm not sure whether I should just move on and really try to get over her or hold on a little bit.I have been struggling for the past week with anxiety and just pure sadness that everything we had is over and was a waste. Honestly, I have gained some type of obsession over all of this constantly putting bad thoughts and situations in my head, just needing answers.  I always continue thinking about the good memories and miss them so god damn much. The thought of her hooking up with people hurts me so much. Part of me says to not talk to her and she will realize what she lost and miss me but the other part tells me if I don't talk to her she will get over it. Simply, \" distance makes the heart grow fonder\" or \" out of sight, out of mind\"\n\nAnother dilemma is, when we go back to school I know were probably not going to get back together right away(if we ever do) and I will have to see her hook up with other guys at parties. We go to the same exact parties every single weekend because we have the same friend group, it's unavoidable, trust me. I want to hook up with other girls in order for me to get over the break up and not love her anymore but I just can't seem to find the interest in any girls but her.\n\nI don't know what to do and need some advice. I would love for some pure honesty, whether it hurts or not, I need it. Or if this same situation has happened to anyone. \n\nSorry this is long but thanks so much.", "post_id": "5m3lwc"}, {"question": "In brief, unless there's something else you haven't mentioned, yes. It's common to start at 50 mg.", "comment": "Age:18\nMale\nSuffer severe anxiety and panic disorder \n\nHey my doctor prescribed me 50mg a day of sertraline and i decided to ease myself in by starting on 25mg as my body is sensitive and im very scared of taking new meds , ive been taking this for 4 days now and feel ready to up to the 50mg, is this okay to do now?", "post_id": "f01yem"}, {"question": "Cinnamon is a treatment for PCOS in Chinese medicine. I tried it and it makes me feel a lot better. I don't know if you'd need to take it every day; I didn't-- I just incorporated it into my food about twice a week and it just really warmed me up.", "comment": "How much do you take a day? \nHow long have you been taking it?\nHas it helped you?\nWhat improvements have you seen, if any?\n\nI'm thinking of taking cinnamon supplements but I would like some advice/feedback from some of my fellow cysters. Thanks ladies! :)", "post_id": "3ma0k1"}, {"question": "There's no way to ensure that a client follows a program.  No therapist has the power to change anyone, we only have the power to assist someone in changing themselves.  If they aren't ready or willing to put the work in that's required, there's really nothing we can do.  \n\n\nNow, while we can't assure that anyone follows a program, there are some things that we can do to increase the likelihood.  Setting firm boundaries, expectations, and consequences are very important.  Communication and consistency is key.  For substance abuse issues, it can be really helpful to do random drug screens to keep the clients honest.  While relapse happens, it may be a requirement that the client is honest.  If they reported no use, then tested positive, it may warrant being kicked out of the program.  \n\n\nIn my opinion, holding folks accountable to what your expectations are with the ultimate consequence of terminating with them is the best way to influence them to follow whatever program you have.  For many, this will lead to termination, but if they really want to work with you and achieve their goals, they might return at a future date more ready and willing to follow the program.  For others, it's better to terminate and stop wasting both yours and their time.  Just make sure you're providing referrals to other therapists whenever doing this.  While it isn't unethical to terminate with a client for not following along with your expectations, it is unethical to terminate with them without offering them information on other places they can go.", "comment": "I'm not a psychologist, but I'm just curious as to how therapists ensure that in their behaviour change program (such as quitting drugs), clients actually adhere to it, given that they only meet their client once or twice a week? Changing someone's habits is really difficult, so I'm just wondering what strategies you use to ensure that clients don't drop out  or go into relapse as easily, or encourage them to change.", "post_id": "ctgb8l"}, {"question": "You can help others in other ways than trading places.", "comment": "People everywhere who are dying of horrible diseases like cancer, who want so badly with every fibre of their being to live just one more day. Personally when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll just be disappointed I didn't die in my sleep. The universe is a fucked up, backwards, paradoxical place, I won't miss it when I go.", "post_id": "b4f8qs"}, {"question": "That's a really hard place to be in. Maybe you can use this time to read some books by or for people with Aspergers and get some ideas for how you might build a better life for yourself despite having Aspergers? There are lots of books out there, a few that come to mind are Look Me In The Eye, Uniquely Human, and Temple Grandin's books.", "comment": "I have nothing to look forward to. No one will be excited to see me when this over. My life won't improve and I'll still be an awkward loser.", "post_id": "fv35pw"}, {"question": "I don't know that it would be a red flag. What makes you say that? Are you concerned some type of fraud is going on?\n\nIf she is offering to do the paperwork necessary for SSI, that is pretty cool. \n\nI don't know enough to say that you should or shouldn't,  just not exactly certain what is rubbing you the wrong way.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hu8mub"}, {"question": "The first appointment is usually an intake appointment, where they gather information to use for your treatment. Depending on the therapist, they may feel competent to treat ADHD or not. I know I sought out a specialist for ADHD treatment when I first started going to therapy.\n\nResearch has shown that the active ingredient in therapy is the relationship between client and counselor, not so much the actual techniques used. You might be able to find CBT stuff on the internet but the advantage of going to see a therapist is that the handouts will be tailored to your needs.", "comment": "Did that title rhyme? \n\n​\n\nBig thanks to this subreddit I've found so many helpful techniques and ways to prevent my ADHD of getting the best of me.  reading about everybody's stories has help me prevent things before happening and i find myself giving my ADHD the middle finger more lately and it feels good.\n\n​\n\nGoing to a appointment with a LMHC, \n\nWhat i expect out of my appointment \n\n\u00ba Getting diagnosed \n\n\u00ba Coping mechanisms for anxiety and sometimes i get depressed.\n\n\u00ba Figure more about whats going on.. sounds dumb BUT my brain is my norm. Am I a typical brain or whats going on. What if i think im normal but what if my self-assessment is really bad.  Am I normal or a psycho-path (i don't think im a psycho-path thats just a example) \n\n\u00ba Homework or reference me to a more qualified specialist \n\n​\n\nI've always stayed away from doctors and therapist mainly because my parents never trusted doctors and pass that mentality onto me.  STAY AWAY FROM THEM DAMN PILL PUSHERS lol.... \n\nI am somewhat skeptical of seeing a counselor, I am excited but at the same time what are you going to do.. ask a whole bunch of questions i dont have the answers for?  A lot of helpful information on CBT is online \n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "ajvhl5"}, {"question": "you said//I really think he would rather end our relationship than his friendship with her. \n\nthis is a gigantic red flag!!!! why do you want to be with him????", "comment": "I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year now. Halfway into our relationship, I found out that a friend of his had actually been a Tinder hookup. After this, she became the source of many problems. For example, the first problem was when she threw a party and my boyfriend didn't invite me to go along with him. We have had other problems because of her. My boyfriend says she is a great networking connection, which is why he insists on staying friends with her. I have never asked him to drop her as a friend because I really think he would rather end our relationship than his friendship with her. He recently liked a picture of her in a bikini and I got really upset because I felt it was disrespectful to me. I also told him it seems like a disgusting thing to do when you have a girlfriend and know she has a problem with this girl. We spoke and he said he doesn't see how it is disrespectful to me and that he doesn't think this is a big deal. He tells me he likes me and is with me for a reason. He also said he barely talks to her as she no longer lives in the same state so not a big deal. Thoughts? Am I really just blowing this out of proportion? \nThank you in advance for your help! \n\nEDIT: To answer some questions.\n1. He is very selective of likes. \n2. The reason I knew this friend and him had a history before was because of his manner when he brought her up. I finally asked him and after quickly saying no, he admitted to their history. Her party happened about a week or two after this. . I was not invited to it. Later, when I asked why after a long argument, he blurted out that he just wanted to have fun and knew that if he brought me along, I would most likely want to leave the party early.\n3. Everyone has insecurities but I like to think I'm pretty secure when it comes to female relationships. His best friend is a female and I've never meddled in that friendship. They hang out without me often because I encourage him to maintain relationships without me. He also is friends with other girls and it's never been an issue. \n3. Not that long ago, I found out that they had not just slept together once but had actually dated for a few weeks and the reason it didn't continue was because she preferred to stay friends. Three months after,  he and I met. \n4. Like I said, the reason this is upsetting is because he doesn't think it is a big deal despite knowing how I feel about her. For months he said that he was just keeping her in his life as a networking connection but later admitted she was a friend in the true sense of the word. \n5. I have cut off two guys from my life when they showed interest in me and didn't respect my relationship with my boyfriend. I did it because I wanted my boyfriend to feel secure. (And no, he didn't ask me to.)\n6. I know she was sending him daily snapchats for a while and always commented on his posts. Once to ask him to visit her since he was in the area. Don't know what she sends him through Snapchat but I assume they're innocent snaps. ", "post_id": "5vqxud"}, {"question": "Is this causing any problems in your life, like problems with school, relationships, work? How is your interaction with girls?", "comment": "I\u2019m sorry if I posting something that\u2019s not allowed.Its just I think my addiction has become a problem.I am a Hispanic male 19 years old ,5\u20194\u201d.\n\nIt 1st began in Junior high when my friend told me that he got a boner by looking at a girl.So I started looking up on girls on Instagram then would go home everyday just to get a boner to girls belly dancing.\nWhen it really began was 2 years when I got mad at a game and instead of raging I made myself calm down by forcefully squeezing my legs close to my privy then felt a good sensation.\n\nAll of a sudden I felt so horny all the time seeing these girls in my explorepage belly dancing.I thought it was sexy so I fapped to them.I can literally fap just looking at the way a girls stomach moves but it has to be moving.Also when I fap to a girls midriff they have to be at least a 4.On a scale of 1-10 hotness looks.\n\nSee what I mean.I need help because I do this every night twice.What kind of doctor do I need?\n\n", "post_id": "b99m1z"}, {"question": "[Chest pain](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chest-pain/Pages/Introduction.aspx)\n\nSeen your GP about this? Could be lots of things, probably nothing sinister.", "comment": "19, female, UK. Been having wisdom tooth problems lately which means I've been on paracetamol for 4 months (ongoing), was on aspirin and tramadol mix for 3, switched to ibuprofen and tramadol mix but stopped ibuprofen and tram 2 days ago due to stomach issues. Thinking gastritis but mainly I don't feel hungry, can't tell when I need a crap, extreme nausea whenever hungry, thinking of food, eating and drinking (even a sip of water makes me wanna hurl), almost vomited yesterday and took me 3 hours to eat 3 slices of toast due to no appetite. I'm rather gassy too. I find eating sweet foods works best, mainly ice cream and yoghurts but I'm unsure all the dairy is best in my condition. Thought this may be linked so worth mentioning, though these symptoms appeared 2 days ago, almost 2 weeks later than my chest pains.\n\nDue to the wisdom tooth, I've been sleeping on my back, and due to a hip injury that's incredibly painful when I move my lower body, I've hardly been moving. Spending lots of time in bed, I can sleep through most of the day because of really bad fatigue, though i wake up every 3-6 hours in pain requiring more painkillers. I really struggle to sleep on my back as I used to always sleep on my right side. Sometimes I slept on my left but my stomach was unsettled and I sometimes woke up with mild chest pain, so nowadays I try sleep on my back despite discomfort. I have woken up around 7am a few times and flopped on my left side though, it was a tad more comfy, then woken up later and got angry at myself.\n\nSo, the actual pain. I've been having chest pain for 2 weeks, it slowly worsening over time, the past few days has been really bad and the past few hours it's at its worst. I've found neither paracetamol nor ibuprofen helped, I haven't tested in the past few hours. Right now I'm laying with my upper back on my pillow, my head propped up with blankets. It's sort of.. Hurting alongside my heart beat, like pulsating. Moving my arms above my shoulders and too far out cause a sudden surge of pain. As does lifting my head, twisting my upper body or doing any movement really. Laying down is slightly less painful than sitting up, sitting up unsupported is pretty painful. Pressing down on my chest also hurts it more. Even breathing in too heavily hurts. In comparison, the headaches I got from my wisdom tooth, I'd take paracetamol and it'd wear off in 2 hours. Right now this chest pain is actually helping me ignore that headache. I've been awake since 2am and I'm very tired but my chest pain is so painful I can't sleep. \n\nI'm sorry for the long post, I wanted to try be thorough. I'd go to the doctors but the risk of hurling is real and I don't want to risk it, I thought it'd be worth a shot here. Is it just muscle pain or something? It'd make sense as movements hurt but it's really damn painful for just pulled/strained muscles. I thought the stomach issues may be linked because of my throat and stomach acid, but like I said, this has been around longer. \n\nThank you for reading!\n\nE before posting: I also just farted and peed myself a bit. Not much, but I guess I have a weak bladder too? I have this big list of symptoms but last 3 times I went to the doctors they shoved me out. I hope somebody can enlighten me on this issue, I'm desperate for anything lol. Thank you so much", "post_id": "5vowhj"}, {"question": "Everybody\u2019s different, so it\u2019s hard to say. I can only speak for myself. I don\u2019t smoke weed at all and never was really into it, and I am definitely an alcoholic. However, if I were to use another drug or substance, I would probably be doing it to get out of myself and feel better or get some relief. It would only be a matter of time before I started drinking again because alcohol is the only thing that gives me the relief I am looking for.  Now, if he is prescribed it and is using for some sort of pain management due to a condition or disease, that\u2019s a different story. Still need to be careful obviously, but the motive for doing it would be different than to get high.", "comment": "My brother recently finished a 45 day program at a rehab center and really seems to be turning his life around. He reported to me that his senses of taste, smell and feeling is coming back. His skin looks incredibly healthier, he stopped eating fast food as much. Recently though he started his marijuana use again and I know at all rehab centers that\u2019s grounds for readmission. He does have a marijuana card but I know that the rehab centers still would readmit for a positive THC test. \n\nMy question is, if he started marijuana again should I expect a relapse soon?", "post_id": "bzavcf"}, {"question": "There are a lot of reasons that this does not happen.  \n\nFirst, there is a strong genetic component to Asperger's.  People who are related to others with Asperger's, Autism, or even extreme introversion are much, much more likely to have Asperger's.  Of course, that doesn't mean all of them will get it.  One must be genetically vulnerable, and then environment can play its role in any number of ways.\n\nThis is called the diathesis-stress model of mental disorder.  There is diasthesis (biological/genetic/psychophysiological vulnerability) and then interactions with the environment (different types of \"stress\") ultimately determine if a disorder ultimately presents.  This is a concept similar to genotype (genetics) and phenotype (individual expression of genetics).\n\nIt is important to note here that no psychological disorder of any kind will be diagnosed unless it causes significant impairment of daily functioning.\n\nIn my case, although I had many symptoms of Asperger's for my entire life, I was not diagnosed until my late 20's.  Why? Because it wasn't until my 20's that the demands of life placed me outside of the comfort zone I had built for myself as a child. I found ways to fit into life as a child and teenager that were adaptive at the time, but no longer worked in adulthood.  Technically, I didn't have the disorder, but I had a genetic vulnerability for it.  In short, you don't need to diagnose someone until they need to be diagnosed.\n\nGetting to your question more directly: Children tend to be incredibly resilient, much more than they are credited for.  The type of social neglect that would cause a child that is not genetically vulnerable to Asperger's to have all of the required criteria for diagnosis of Asperger's would be so extreme that it would be impossible for ONLY those areas of behavior pertinent to Asperger's to be effected.\n\nThis is analogous to treating a specific illness with a drug.  Almost any drug administered for almost any illness effects many/most cells in the body, not just the ones related to the illness. So we get side effects.\n\nIn the same way it is impossible to send aspirin only to the brain cells causing a headache, it is impossible to neglect a child in precisely the right way to create the symptoms of Asperger's without also creating a number of other symptoms that would necessitate the diagnosis of a disorder other than Asperger's.  My best guess would be a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder. \n\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder", "comment": "Can Asperger's be acquired through childhood due to a \"bad start\"? While this self-reinforcing pattern of Asperger's is undeniable, how would a normal person raised with little social interaction during that crucial period of social development, where plasticity is sufficient, to the extent that not only might the neurological faculties skip development but atrophy if not find themselves repurposed?", "post_id": "19qsh1"}, {"question": "you may be struggling with 'end of honeymoon syndrome'. that will happen in every relationship. make sure you REALLY don't love\nhim if you're moving on.", "comment": "Please no judgement or grammar police.\n\nMy partner and I have been together for a couple of years now and we have a perfect little boy and 2 equally as perfect fur babies together. He's an amazing person, he works long days to provide for us, he spoils me more than I deserve and he's the best dad I've ever come across.. BUT.. I just don't think I'm interested anymore. And I feel absolutely horrible for feeling this way. He works 6am-7pm every day and I appreciate all the hard work he puts in for us. Part of me feels some resentment towards him. I've always been independent, whenever I was bored of a town I'd pack up and move to another. He's always had this dream of picture perfect family because his upbringing involved drugs, violence, selfish parents and gangs. I wanted to fulfill that dream for him because he deserves it but while I was busy doing that, I forgot about myself and how starting a family and losing my independence would affect me. I always worked alongside him so we were together 24/7 and travelling now all of a sudden I'm a stay at home mother, in the countryside and in a different country from our family and friends. Because of his long hours at work I'm quite comfortable with not having him around and it's really starting to show. He gets home from work and tries to start a conversation but I'm either shutting him down or on the phone talking to family or friends back in my home country and not spending any time with him. I criticise everything he says and I can sit in the same room as him for hours and not say a word to him. I find myself checking out other guys (which I have never done in the past) and imaging what it would be like being with someone else. I don't want to feel like this. I would never cheat on him and he doesn't deserve to have his family broken up after everything he's done for us. \n\nPlease someone give me some advice.. He's a good man and everyone takes him for granted and to be honest, lately I've been one of those people too. ", "post_id": "6a5k5c"}, {"question": "My ctrl+alt+del is taking a deep breath and telling myself that it's okay to feel my emotions completely... works like magic.  Sorry if it sounds cheesy.", "comment": "Don't ge tme wrong. I love most emotions, I don't even mind the occasional anxiety and fear. However, it is when these things go on longer than you want them to that they get really, really annoying.\nHow many of you would get a ctrl+alt+del function for yourselves if you could? ", "post_id": "14tj1x"}, {"question": "Inositol in a 40:1 ratio of myo to D-chiro.\n\nI couldn't tolerate metformin and started taking 2 g of that a day and have been having regular periods with no side effects, it's awesome! \n\nI've found this one to be the least expensive and is what I've been using:\n\n[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DBX6NG2/ref=oh\\_aui\\_detailpage\\_o01\\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DBX6NG2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)", "comment": "I've heard of a lot of people having luck with Metformin. I went to an RE to take a look at my ovaries and hormone levels. All of my hormone levels returned as normal but I still have cysts all over my ovaries and my periods are somewhat irregular. He said he can't prescribe me Metformin since my insulin is normal, there's no need.\n\nWhat can I do now?\n\nEdit: Thank you all. It feels really nice to talk to people about this. You've inspired me to seek a second opinion. I still want to lose 20 pounds before seeking other kinds of treatment because I've already  lost 30 pounds and that weight loss really improved my symptoms, so I want to see what losing the remaining 20 pounds would do. I'll be sure to post an update to the weight loss, and to the 2nd opinion.", "post_id": "9w02en"}, {"question": "Read actual books. Books offer in-depth analysis and complex stories that will generate more interests compared to just scrolling and reading articles.\n\nEdit: I\u2019m truly curious about why this comment would get downvotes\u2014please feel free to explain! Books are wonderful, I\u2019m just not comprehending the downvotes.", "comment": "I dont think im socially awkward. I have no problem talking to people about deep topics or day to day topics, the problem is i dont know what to talk about. Im not a very interesting person in general, working on figuring out some hobbies for myself because i dont have any.\n\n​\n\nI work, gym, then go home and watch TV or spend hours on reddit, insta, etc. I have friends, we go out and its all good. But when im with just 1 person, I find difficulty coming up with topics to talk about and hence I try to have 2 people + me so they can generate conversation that I can join in. \n\n​\n\nIs this bad? What should i do to improve and have conversation topics?", "post_id": "cji0vq"}, {"question": "Glancing and staring are two different things.  A lot of people are just uncomfortable with sustained eye contact.  You can probably find at least 100 people on this sub that fall into that category so need somewhere to divert their eyes.  What you're noticing might just be their way of diverting their eyes due to their anxiety. \n\n\nSome of them could be checking you out, but it's really contextual.  I'd assume if that were the case it might be a little more obvious to you, say if they were doing this while flirting.  \n\n\nOr as Greywolf stated, it could be something as simple as they're admiring your shirt, or as Ross said, if you're taller than them a more comfortable line of sight.  ", "comment": "I'm a guy and both guys and girls sometimes glance at my chest when I talk to them, in skinny so I don't know why they would looking, is it a sign they like you?", "post_id": "8whlgd"}, {"question": "Increase.  You are doing a work that they do at boarding places.  If it was me I would increase it more but that might cause them to move out haha ", "comment": "Original rent 500 including all utilities. Guy who rents room wanted a dog. I said 600/month total with adult dog, 700/month total with puppy. Guy works all night, and is constantly mandated for OT. Therefore, I'm constantly taking care of puppy for him. Is increase to 700 while a puppy unreasonable?", "post_id": "48xh6g"}, {"question": "I\u2019d like to emphasize what u/psychick said but add that you should not use marijuana. If you have had any psychotic symptoms then marijuana is a high-risk drug to use. Please don\u2019t. It will not help.", "comment": "Age: 25\nSex: F \nHeight: 5'1\nWeight: 87lbs\nRace: Asian\nDuration of complaint: a while\nLocation (Geographic and on body):\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): adhd, anxiety, sometimes blood pressure fluctuations, Raynaud's syndrome.\nCurrent medications (if any): xanax .25mg as needed, chlorthalidone 12.5mg\nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example):\n\nHi, it's me again. The girl who said she didn't sleep for 30+ days. After, a couple of weeks after that post, I think I started sleeping at least 2-3 hours a day which is definitely better than how I was before that. I just feel like I'm all over the place. I feel like a bad person and people online call me a manipulator and abusive person. Their were a couple times this week that I have driven to a bridge but was unsuccessful finding parking to walk there and contemplate suicide. I even wrote a letter saying goodbye to my family. People think I'm doing all of this for attention online but I'm serious. I think I was either wrongly diagnosed or have both bipolar and bpd. I'm very impulsive as a person. I don't think I've had a depressive episode after the 30+ days of no sleep. \n\nI don't know if that has to do with my ADHD. I just also feel like it would be better for everyone around me as well as people I've talked to online that I leave this world. I think it would do everyone a favor. I think the reason why the last pshchiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder was because I had a time in the past where I would have a episodes of no motivation during school semesters or the summer. I have flunked so many times because of no motivation and just doubting myself as well as losing jobs due to not wanting to get out of bed or not wanting to go to work. Anxiety has also played a role. \n\nDuring the 30 days of no sleep, I went to the hospital multiple times because of the bad anxiety and sleeping issue. I think the spending issue could possibly be related to both bpd and bipolar disorder because I have not spend so much money like actually maxing out my credits cards all the time. Only time I did this was last month as well as the beginning of this month and last year during my birthday maybe. During last year, I made a post about being potentially schizphrenic because I was extremely terrified of my house and saw ghosts as well as heard things here and there. This year and last year I would hear my name being called at work or home but nobody would say it or nobody was there. I got kicked out of a university last year because my GPA was so bad for 3 semester's. \n\nI would self harm in the my car in the parking lot. I also do that sometimes out of anger, punishment, and sometimes to feel pain for no reason. I also have been on and off with being very hypersexual. I have never had sex before but I've been really frustrated lately. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. Anyway, I'm babbling and am sorry about that. I probably missed a couple things. I would rather thing having borderline personality disorder to be surprising because I don't think I've ever been abused. Also, I forgot to mention during the time of not sleeping for 30+ days and other symptoms I was very irritable and snapped a couple times by breaking some of the items I really cherished. I drive when I'm really upset and sometimes recklessly or I'm like numb or zoned out. That happened yesterday. Almost got into a couple accidents the day I really thought I should end it. \n\nI also forgot to mention that during the 30+ days of no sleep I was hearing and seeing things here and there but nothing like last year. That was the worst time of my life. I would beg my parents to come home because I was so afraid of being home alone and getting attacked by something or someone. I'm not going to lie, I think drugs are poison but at the same time I want someone to help me. I'm just afraid. I feel like I'm losing control of everything. People online that I've talked to think I'm crazy because I overreacted about someone acting like me on my discord account and I thought I was genuinely being hacked and freaking out over it via text. So they banned me. I have really bad anger outbursts but it's usually when im provoked or when I feel like I'm being attacked most of the time or made fun of. I don't think I've been in a depressive episode after the 30 days of no sleep. \n\nAnyway, I'm sorry I'm all over the place. Maybe I'm just an attention seeker. It's what people online tell me but all I want is for someone to help me and card about me. I'm seeing a neurologist another psychiatrist and another appointment at a hospital I think with a therapist in a couple weeks. I just want someones professional opinion on all of this. Am I a toxic person? I'm just frustrated with my entire life and just everything going on. I don't know what to do. I'm trying weed for the first time this week. I went to great lengths to get it because I think maybe it'll fix me.", "post_id": "cw7v6r"}, {"question": "Most of the time I will answer honestly if someone's legitimately asking and it's not just a standard greeting.  (I live in the Northeast so \"Hey how you doing?\" means \"hello\" and is often answered with \"Hey how you doing?\" more often than an actual response.)\n\n\nI don't see anything wrong with \"Not doing so great today\", \"Having a bit of a rough week.\", \"Feeling kind of tired.\" \u2026\u2026. You?\n\n\nIf they care to know why or talk about it they'll ask.  If they don't, they won't.  It takes a lot less mental energy to just be honest than to try to walk around with a fake smile on my face.  Having more mental energy helps me to turn it around when I can.  ", "comment": "Anyone else ever feel like just answering \u201cnot good\u201d or just being really honest when being asked this question by strangers or acquaintances. There\u2019s people in my office who ask me this everyday and I feel awkward sometimes answering it, one of them picked up on it and after I mumbled \u201cGood\u201d they said \u201cyou don\u2019t sound too convincing!\u201d", "post_id": "ac8r8h"}, {"question": "I've been there. Try being a huge fan of underrated games that flopped and will never get a sequel (System Shock 2) *sigh*. \n\nNostalgia and sadness are all a part of depression. It is also not all that unusual for a game, song, movie, or a story to trigger episodes and cause you to overthink things. You want to live in a fictional world because everybody needs a chance to escape for a while. There is nothing unusual there. \n\nJust don't forget to poke your head out from time to time and live in the real world. ", "comment": "I just finished playing Life Is Strange (Well, up to episode 3, super excited for ep 4) and I feel much more depressed than usual, especially after the first episode (which was the most relaxing one). I\u2019m going to try to explain this to the best of my abilities, but I\u2019ve never really felt this way before.\n\nI feel a sense of nostalgia and sadness, like I feel like I squandered my high school years (sophomore in college), like I wish my life was somewhat like Max\u2019s (sans powers). I just wish I could\u2019ve lived in a small little sea side town on the coast of Oregon surrounded by pine trees and rain. I feel like I missed out on something while I was suffering in a shitty inner city school where I isolated myself from all my peers, I hated this feeling so much. It\u2019s like nostalgia for something I never had. I\u2019ve been listening to the soundtrack on repeat and thinking about what my life could have been, but wasn\u2019t.\n\nThis is so fucking dumb and I hate myself for this, why do I always want to live in a fictional world?\n", "post_id": "3ei7jx"}, {"question": "Wrong sub...this is for mental health therapists not physical therapists. \u263a\ufe0f", "comment": "I do office work. Got a lot of back and neck muscles strain.\n\nBut even people don't do such work would agree with me that back muscles got pain much easier than front ones.\n\nAnd you see cupping marks usually on the back.\n\nCan someone explain this?", "post_id": "byrren"}, {"question": "When I have a fixed role in a situation I find my anxiety is far less than if it were just a casual hangout.", "comment": "Exposure therapy really works I guess. I went from being nervous reading out orders to doing it very casually and talking a lot with my coworkers. It's insane how much it's helped and I'm reallh proud of myself for doing it.\n\nNow time to ask my crush to hang out at some point \ud83e\udd18\n\nEdit: Can't reply to everyone, but I've read all your comments and I'm really glad to hear you guys have had similar experiences. I'll also make sure to update later on if anything happens with my crush.", "post_id": "ffoh6h"}, {"question": "Check out this website: http://sciparenting.com/", "comment": "Me and my wife are planning on starting a family very soon. I am looking for advice on equipment and resources that you have found helpful in caring for an infant while in a wheelchair. I am a C5-C6 quadriplegic and use a wheelchair.", "post_id": "hku256"}, {"question": "Why are you still freaking out?  It's done.  And changing your number due to spam is a great excuse.  Why would you need a new phone?  You wouldn't.", "comment": "I am 20 years old and a few days ago I had sex with a woman 12 years older than me that I barley knew. (32 years old.) Turns out she had a husband. and 2 kids. Afterwards I became paranoid that he would find out somehow and track me down. Every unknown phone call I got scared me to death. Finally today I started getting an unknown phone call, again and again and again. I freaked out, I was afraid to answer. So what did I do? I went straight to AT&T and changed my phone number. WHY?!? I fucked up. Later I find out it was just my mother calling from the on-star phone in her car because she left her phone at the house today. WTF? So I text everyone in my phone that I have a new number, And my reason? I said I had been getting too many sales calls and just wanted a new number. Not a new phone just a new number... HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO PEOPLE?\nI'm feeling like my life is over now. I just had to get that off my chest. I must be the world biggest dumbass. I doubt anyone believes my story and now everytime I look at my phone number its going to remind me of today and how fucking stupid I am right? Also I can't change my number back because Ive already told everyone about my new number. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT. thanks..", "post_id": "1p3mcy"}, {"question": "Try this [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) :)", "comment": "I have trouble with coming up with things to talk about. I never know what to say if I don't already know the person. I santo become more social and meet new people but my fear of having nothing to say keeps me from doing so. Obviously I could just talk to everyone and get better but what are other tips that you guys could give me to improve my conversation skills. ", "post_id": "16ca2t"}, {"question": "The key here is not to die. As long as you're alive, things have a chance of going better. \n\nFind a program and follow it even though it's not near perfect. You could start by going to a meeting every day.\n\nKnow that everything that's hard is survivable. \n\nIf you relapse, START SMALL.  For god's sake, don't od on your regular fix. ", "comment": "Hey guys my name is alex. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder, severe anxiety and adhd.\nI'm a recovering heroin addict(in so much of recovering means if someone offered me a bundle or even a bag i would jump right on it.\nwe hear all this story of dope being laced, but when its this bad, it doesn't matter( a friend of mine overdosed on the same shit i did after finding out it killed him). his ex gave me all his shit( the shit that killed him) and i did it all and i miss it so much. i have been off my meds since late october and i dont really know what to do", "post_id": "6axeri"}, {"question": "The doctor cannot tell you anything without your dad's permission, but you are allowed to tell your dad's doctor whatever you want, and she can do with it whatever she wants. There is no law or regulation against it.\n\nWhether it's ethical is a separate question. I would still say yes: you are trying to help your dad even if he doesn't want you to help him.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9l5i3a"}, {"question": "I believe the legal cutoff is *below* 4'10\" in the US, which would exclude you. As the other poster noted, if you want to know about ADA and regulatory meaning, it's a legal question rather than a medical one. Medically, it's possible to be normal and just on the far end of the bell curve.", "comment": "23F // White // 115lbs // smoker // No drinking // \n\n\nI\u2019m 4\u201910 and my whole life people have told me I\u2019m LeGaLly a little person even though I\u2019ve had growth plate testing and genetic testing done to have my doctors say otherwise and I don\u2019t fit the other criteria for being a little person. \n\nSo here I am wanting to validate something for people like me, danny devito, and snooki haha are we just somehow by the government with no other criteria of dwarfism besides being short considered actual little people? \n\nBecause dang if I\u2019m a little person this whole time I missed out on a lot of disability benefits. (That\u2019s a joke because I in no way shape or form feel like a little person and I feel like that\u2019s an insult to the little person community for me to claim that title) \n\nThanks for any help in advanced! I really just want to settle it, if I\u2019m wrong I\u2019ll take the L!", "post_id": "e8c906"}, {"question": "Depends on what constitutes ' the finish line.'", "comment": "Ive just been a little curious about this. I have notice some that this might have some truth to it when it comes to girls. I know all girls are different but over all do you think that this may be true? Advice, experiences or opinions welcome.", "post_id": "1xxpbt"}, {"question": "I relate, so so so much. \n\nListen though. Beating yourself (ourselves) up for something we have already done is not helpful and will only lead to more self-conscious induced cringy moments in the future. The only thing you can do is make a mental note of what you don\u2019t feel good doing/saying and think about how you can avoid repeating your mistake. Most of the time, the answer is one of these things: be more in the moment, slow down, take breaths, and do more listening and asking questions than talking. \n\nSecond, think hard about your cringy moment and what other people were doing throughout the time you were in their presence. Throughout that time, can you name one single even somewhat cringy thing that another person did? Because I bet you a million dollars at least one of those people you interacted with *can.* At least one of them went home and kicked themselves because of something dumb they thought they said or did. But you didn\u2019t notice because you were focused on yourself and they were focused on themselves. Whatever you did, it wasn\u2019t as big as you think it is. I\u2019ll even go ahead and believe you - let\u2019s say you were cringy. It\u2019s very, very, very unlikely that anyone else is spending more than half a second thinking about your cringy moment. They\u2019ve moved past it.\n\nBreathe. Tomorrow is a chance to be even a marginally better version of yourself, and obsessing is not helpful. Distract yourself. Breathe. Treat yourself to something you enjoy like a snack or a movie. You need some self care right now and you deserve it. ", "comment": "I\u2019ve been so cringy and awkward to so many people it\u2019s hard to keep count. Everywhere I go now I feel like I\u2019m the weird one because of all the awkward stuff people have seen me do before. \n\nEvery. Single. Fucking. Day there\u2019s always something I\u2019ve done to cringe about. Most people have one moment in their life that makes them cringe, but I have them about once a week, and they paralyse me with just sheer embarrassment and sadness. \n\nI know I\u2019m not overreacting, because if I was someone else and witnessed the awkward shit I was doing, I\u2019d think I was a fucking weirdo too. Man I just hate myself so much. I\u2019m unbelievably far from the person I want to be it\u2019s almost unbearable. Everyday I see confident people, it\u2019s unbearable knowing that I\u2019m not one of them.\n\nThe realisation that you\u2019re not the person you want to be is the hardest thing that can happen to someone. \n\nI\u2019m completely stuck. I need help. \n\n", "post_id": "871o1v"}, {"question": "Therapists are specifically trained to not let their personal views enter into the therapeutic relationship, so whatever her values are regarding her son she will be able to set those aside and join with you in your distress. I think you have every right to feel conflicted about your body and decisions made about it without your input. You absolutely are going through a grief process, and your therapist can surely help you process it. It sounds like you have a great, trusting relationship built with her already. Trust her again to support you in this process. Good luck!", "comment": "Hello!  I have a question about how to raise a specific, sensitive topic in therapy, and I'm very nervous.  I'm looking for guidance, not trying to \"do the work\" here, if that makes sense.\n\nI'm a 30 y.o. circumcised man, and ever since I first asked why I've been circumcised, I've been unhappy about it.  I mostly feel violated about the procedure itself, which was done for non-medical reasons without anesthetic (dad is Jewish and wanted me to look like him).  I guess a part of me also wishes I could experience sex with a foreskin, but of course I'll have to find a way to accept my body the way it is.  It feels like I'm going through a grieving process similar to when I had to accept that my family is dysfunctional, except this time I'm going through it completely alone.\n\nI've been in therapy for years and worked through a bunch of stuff with my therapist.  She's great, and I've discussed a lot of other private details with her.  Circumcision is different.  She has a two-year-old son, and I have no idea whether her son was circumcised or what her views are.  I'm nervous about even introducing her to the idea that not all men are happy they were circumcised.\n\nI'm scared to even mention it here, because from what I've seen on reddit, the typical responses is to tell men to \"get over it\" or assume that there \"must be something deeper\" going on.  I guess that's always a possibility, but this feels like a pretty legitimate thing to grieve.\n\nAny advice?", "post_id": "bv8c1u"}, {"question": "Theres no \"stronger\" antidepressant, though some are more effective than others in large sample studies (Cipriani et al).\n\nI prescribe venlafaxine regularly. Its effective for many. General principles is to try the top dose (if tolerated) for a while before switching. Venlafaxine typically goes up to 375mg daily (in the UK).", "comment": "Girlfriend is taking two every day for anxiety and missed a dose and got every symptom from withdrawal.\n\nAnything yoy guys can tell me about this drug... Are there much stronger ones that are prescribed or is this pretty much the top dog?", "post_id": "8e4jqc"}, {"question": "Please provide evidence for your claim that 90% of the assertions made in your linked article are false.\n\nHow does any of that undermine the legitimacy of psychological science? ", "comment": "http://robingoldstein.net/alcohol-weed-and-self-medication/\n\nI seriously doubt that Dr. Goldstein actually wrote this article, and she probably believes it is all true. But it occurs to me that roughly 90% of the claims made here are false. I concede that any particular assertion could be explained as an error or mistake, but clearly the intended purpose of whomever wrote this article was misinformation: [an attempt to undermine] the legitimacy of psychological science. This is a very serious crime [conspiracy], and the consumers of Goldstein's practice have likely suffered abuse and maltreatment as a consequence, not to mention anybody who has has actually read the article. What can we do about this?", "post_id": "21yik7"}, {"question": "I do this too. Super indecisive and take forever to make a choice agonizing over all the \u201cwhat if\u2019s\u201d and all the possible outcomes. Then after I make the decision I wonder if it was the right one and question myself doing the \u201cmaybe I should have done y instead of x.\u201d I work on trying to deal with it by talking to other people who are helpful and don\u2019t get annoyed with me for needing to talk it out. I also sometimes write things down and make a pro con list or sorts. I try to focus on the known info and try to only go up one level of the \u201cwhat if\u2019s\u201d instead of the whole tree of them. For the anxiety after I try and tell myself I made the best decision because of x, y, and z and try and think of the benefits of choosing the way I did. It takes practice and I still struggle some days. I work on being in the present moment and being mindful when I feel myself going down the spiral or ruminating over it. A lot of it is anxiety and it\u2019s also not feeling like I am competent or good enough to make the best choice (which I try and remind myself that I am).  Breathing and focusing on the breath is helpful in calming the anxiety. Give yourself compassion and start trying to trust yourself.", "comment": "Hey! \nI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m making this post it\u2019s just something that been on my mind. I tried to turn to google for answers but came up with nothing. So I\u2019m here to see if anyone feels the same, and also to feel less alone.. i guess. \n\nI\u2019m a 25 year old female who struggles with making decisions. Yes I\u2019m an adult who still struggles with that. I over think every single possible outcome, and when I finally make a decision I\u2019m left with regret. I\u2019m always left feeling like I made the wrong choice big or small. \n\nThis has been an issue I\u2019ve struggled with since I was a child. \n\nI got diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar depression last year but my medications don\u2019t seem to be working, as I am still anxious. \n\n\nI just started seeing a therapist and I\u2019m getting re-evaluated but I have to wait for my insurance to approve it.\n\nMy question here is does anyone else struggle with this? How to you cope? If you were able to overcome this, how? Also what could be wrong with me? Is this just anxiety?\n\nI feel like I live every single day with regret and it\u2019s becoming unbearable", "post_id": "fuvlhp"}, {"question": "That sounds very much like a panic attack and not very much like a seizure. There's no way to be absolutely certain without monitoring during an episode. But if it's not a generalized tonic-clonic (grand mal) seizure, there also aren't really tests to run after the fact that can confirm that it is or isn't a seizure, and even for those classic seizures tests afterwards are suggestive but not confirmatory.", "comment": "23, male, 5\u2019 7\u201d, 200lbs., white. Last September I had an episode that sent me to the ER. I started off crying with a lot of fear and anxiety. This progressed into sitting on the edge of my bed pedaling with my feet and moving my arms in random directions. My fianc\u00e9 mentioned that I made a humming noise the entire time it was happening. I remember being able to hear everything going on around me but not being able to respond or control my movements. The crying and fear part lasted about 5-10 minutes, and the episode lasted around 5-10 minutes. The doctor at the ER said it was a panic attack. No neuro tests were run. Labs came back normal with a mildly elevated TSH.\n\nI\u2019ve had panic attacks in the past but none like this. When I mentioned this to the doctor he acted like this was normal, despite me trying to tell him that it was abnormal for me, especially since I had no control over the episode. Since then I\u2019ve had two of these same episodes. One happened right after I got very fearful and started crying like the one that got me sent to the ER. The second one came on with no warning other than a strange feeling that came on suddenly beforehand. My last episode was January of 2018. \n\nFebruary of 2018 I was sent to a psychiatrist for paranoia and strange aura like sensations. I was out on Lamictal, Lexapro, Risperdal, and Xanax. I\u2019ve been using them since then until this past week. I\u2019m tapering off of them due to side effects of the meds getting worse. My primary care doctor is unsure if this was an epileptic seizure, a PNES, or a panic attack. She seems to think it was an epileptic seizure or PNES. I was never referred to a neurologist. ", "post_id": "9m99ci"}, {"question": "\"Aromatic\": adj.  having a pleasing smell. ", "comment": "hello, me and a friend decided to try out a romantic relationship.\n\nit was his idea and the feelings came from his part, and i agreed to try it because i thought it would be unfair to not give it a go. however, i'm not a very affectionate person and not too keen on romance, so after a bit of research and talking with others i think i'm aromantic? \n\nhe is a good and sweet friend and we have alot in common, so i know he won't judge me or be rude or whatever but i want to end the romantic aspect of our relationship and keep the platonic- how do i explain my situation to him? \n\nedit: i meant \"aromantic\" not aromatic. my apologies", "post_id": "6dh8ck"}, {"question": "Hello fellow New Englander. I'm wicked sorry for you.", "comment": "I'm fucking sick of her.  She's overbearing and wicked judgemental.  Comes off as nice and warm if you only spend a short period of time with her, but when you're living with her, it ends up beating you down day after day.\n\nThe other day after actually paying me a compliment, she follows right up with criticisms of my ability to be a father and husband based off of random things that she saw ten years ago.  Stupid shit like that.  I'm fucking sick of it.  Fuck her and the fucking pedestal she lives on (which is bullshit, of course).\n\nCan't tell her, can't tell wife, since we have kids and the kids have a great relationship with her.  I'm not ruining that no matter how much I want to tell her off.  So I come here to blow off steam.  Thanks.", "post_id": "4y5apx"}, {"question": "That change won't be happening for at most 18 months. For now use the old number.", "comment": "9 8 8", "post_id": "eajdg7"}, {"question": "Note that I am a therapist but I am not YOUR therapist and the accuracy of my advice may vary based on where you are located, as well as the training, ethical code, and clinical judgement of your specific therapist. YOUR therapist knows a lot more about this than I do, and I can't provide psychological help over reddit. \n\nFWIW, my experience is that clients fear that I am MUCH more likely to involuntarily hospitalize them than I actually am. \n\nHowever, I always feel cautious about giving specifics for OTHER therapists because I do not know where you are, how your therapist is licensed, or how your therapist interprets their ethical and legal obligations. \n\nWith that said, I will note that suicidal ideation is very common. If we hospitalized everyone who thought about killing themselves, we would be hospitalizing a truly absurd number of people. (In fact, FWIW, I would be hospitalized.) \n\nIn my clinic, involuntary hospitalization would look something like, \"I have a specific plan to kill myself that I intend to carry out and I refuse to safety plan with you.\"\n\nI strongly encourage you to ask your therapists about this. For example, in your shoes, I might say something like, \"I remember you saying that one reason you might break confidentiality is if I pose a serious threat to myself. I am wondering if you can give me some more information about that. How does this clinic define this?\"\n\nIf you give your therapist information about suicidal thoughts, your therapist probably WILL ask you a bunch of questions to assess risk, such as asking if you have a gun in the house. This doesn't mean that they are trying to institutionalize you, but just that they are trying to figure out what sorts of things might need to be included on a safety plan if you end up making one. (And to make sure that they are documenting what they need to document.)\n\nThere may also be some additional considerations if you are under the age of 18.", "comment": "With everything that\u2019s been going on in my life recently (covid and lots and lots of personal stuff) I\u2019ve been suicidal but I really doubt that I\u2019m ever going to act on it. I don\u2019t want to hurt my family and give them one more thing to have to deal with, and I\u2019m absolutely terrified of failing and being sent back to a psych hospital. \n\nWith that being said, is there any way for me to tell my therapist that without her sending me to a hospital? I was already in one once and it didn\u2019t help at all, it was traumatizing because I was there against my will (and would be this time too if she sent me, I\u2019m assuming), it didn\u2019t help, and the only outcome that I got from it is that I\u2019ve been too AFRAID to attempt in fear of being sent back there in case I fail\n\nBasically my problem is that because I\u2019m afraid of my therapist sending me to the hospital, it\u2019s limiting what I can talk to her about, and it\u2019s things that I really want to talk about. Plus because of my current situation, I can\u2019t go to the hospital because I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d be able to finish my school work and I\u2019m supposed to be graduating this semester \n\nTo;dr if I explain to my therapist that I\u2019m suicidal but feel like I\u2019m VERY unlikely to attempt, and that I\u2019m VERY afraid of being sent to the hospital for multiple reasons, will she have to send me? Not being able to tell her is limiting things that I would like to talk to her about\n\n\nedit: I don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually, but thank you all. Everyone had valuable things to say that made me realize that telling her is the best option, and I am going to do so at our next session. Thank you all", "post_id": "fwq80o"}, {"question": "It took two months for me to get 30 days. When you wake up tomorrow try not to beat yourself up too much--that will lead right back to your next drink. \n\nSometimes in early sobriety (or even much later) we need to do more research before we know for sure if we really want this. It takes what it takes. \n\nWhen you decide you really want this and you have another day like this, don't worry about 24 hours. Take it hour by hour, minute by minute. When you feel this way, just find something, anything you can do to distract yourself--just for the next few minutes. Don't worry about what comes next until it comes. \n\nThe first few weeks are the absolute worst. But you can do it. Hugs. ", "comment": "I can't bring myself to comment on the check-in thread because I can't say for definite that I won't drink today.\n\nI have every reason not to drink; I'm only 4 hours away from my 2 week badge, I'm not supposed to drink with my meds etc. etc. but I feel, more than anything, that I just want to say f*ck it all. \n\nI keep reading all these inspirational comments and articles about how everyone feels SO much better 2 weeks in and their sleep is great, they feel happier, they've lost weight and their skin looks great. I've had none of that. I thought week 1 was a walk in the park, I didn't miss alcohol, I had no withdrawal symptoms and I was full of optimism. This week I've felt stressed, irritable, useless, and miserable.\n\nHow can I feel so bad after doing something so supposedly great?", "post_id": "70x9ry"}, {"question": "Would you rather disappoint him or hate him?\n\nIf you want to stay with him in the long run, disappointing him is a better option.\n\nThink of it as kicking some of the hard feelings over to him to share the load. ", "comment": "Yes I know, talk to him. So easy and simple but not. Not when he references other conversations, taking what I've said out of context, or how I was before.ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for at least this past year.\n\nOur libidos don't match up anymore. They've gone from equal to him wanting it even more and me wanting it less. I can't even hug him, kiss him, cuddle, or even look at him without him getting hard and wanting to go have sex. If it were quickies I could do that, but it's like marathon sex sessions almost every time. I hate disappointing him with rejection so I've drawn back, I've stopped trying to touch him and be intimate because I don't want to turn him on only to tell him no, I'm not in the mood. It's a cycle that just keeps creating anxiety in me. \n\nI'm stressed about so many things I can't even decompress when I get home because he's right there, always trying for sex or just trying to get me to talk. I just need a few to come back from the day. I'm a true introvert and my energy stores have been depleted. I just can't deal. I've tried telling him this but i don't think he fully gets it. He use to be so good at reading me and my emotions, but now it's like he went blind.\n\nEvery day he tells me he misses me and can't wait to be home with me. It's not like we don't work in the same town, not like I won't be home in a few hours to see you. He also sends me porn links and sexts me multiple times a day, even on Fridays which I've told him not to before, they are a high stress day at work for me. Yes I could just ignore them like he says, but he could just not send them like I asked. I'd shut my phone off completely Fridays if I didn't need it for work. It's getting stiffling, I can't breathe. I don't have emotions like that. When he went to visit his parents for a few days I missed him, but it was nice being able to relax and not be anxious for those few days. When he came back we had great sex, multiple times a day for a few days. He wanted it to keep going, I didn't need it to. Thus the anxiety kicked back in.\n\nHe jerks off daily, most of the time at least twice a day. I'm fine with that, I really am. But usually he'd do it while I'm asleep or not home from work yet, now he'll just start jerking while I'm right next to him watching TV. If he thinks that's a good way to get me to join...It's not, it just kicks an anxiety attack into high gear and shuts me down even more. \n\nI guess I just needed to get this out so it won't play in my head all day. Idk of this even belongs here.\n\nUpdate: Incase anyone is still seeing this. We talked a little. Apparently when I say no nicely it reminds him of the crazy ex. He thinks I'm bored with our sex life so was trying different ways to ask me for sex. I told him I'm not bored, I'm just being turned off by his approach and that I don't want to hurt him. He said he understands I'm not always in the mood, that a hand or blow job would be ok too... Not exactly the best compromise but it'll do for now. \n\nAnd he won't cheat, wouldn't even take my offer to have an open marriage. We are kinky but he only wants me, yes that's what every woman wants isn't it? Sometimes though, would be nice to be the only one taking all the sexual attention. ", "post_id": "682pyr"}, {"question": "Your mental health struggles will make you a better counselor/social worker. You can look people in the eye and say \u201cI believe you and I know how hard this is... let\u2019s work together.\u201d\n\nSource: Licensed Professional Counselor with her own list of diagnoses and meds!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "d6grj3"}, {"question": "she is way off base here. lock yourself in the bathroom and nap!", "comment": "I know this sounds like an extremely petty and unimportant problem compared to everyone else, but its become a sore spot between me and my mom. I am a junior taking honors and AP courses, and am incredibly tired after I come home from school and do all of my homework. Generally, when after I finish my hw there is a 30-45 minute window before dinnertime when I try to take a quick nap to recharge my batteries. Every time I have tried to discuss this she says that they make me \"stay up all night\" and that theirs no reason for me to be napping. While its true that by her standards, I do stay up later if I take a nap (as a junior in high school I still have to go to bed at 9 on school nights and cant have my phone, which is another argument for another time). I know a small nap sounds relatively unimportant, but its gotten to a point where I would get grounded for trying to sneak naps in different parts of the house, I always get 8 hours of sleep a night no matter what, so how can I help end this fight and try to convince her to let me grow up a little?", "post_id": "67s2g0"}, {"question": "if you're not ready for marriage after this long, when will you be??? you have to ask yourself if you're leading on...... you seem unable to commit which isn't fair to her.  and she has to decide whether to search elsewhere for commitment. seeing a therapist would help.", "comment": "What are some ways to approach the difficult question of marriage? \n\nI've been together with my gf for many years, and now we are at a point where we face a nasty breakup or marriage. \n- we both don't want and don't plan to have kids\n- she gets a lot of society pressure; which she admits to, but for her it's the reality \n\nWe live in Shanghai, I'm moving to Taiwan for a project for about a year (2 hours away flight) and she wants a decision on this. We've been together for many years and she is looking for stability, I admit I think she is ready for marriage. I don't feel it, maybe I'm just intimidated about not having sex with other people ever again. We travel very well together, and it has for sure and by far been my best relationship. Yet, I'm still not sure. \n\nWhat are some tools for me to approach this question where I'm constantly going back and forth and I am just completely indecisive.", "post_id": "5kdm1v"}, {"question": "Why are you sure it's not a stye? Discharge or what? \n\nStyes sometimes swell up and don't ever come to a head", "comment": "The past two days my [the inner corner of the eye (the skin surrounding the eye, not the the eye itself)](http://imgur.com/a/Ctgh5) is mildly inflamed, and is very sore/painful to the touch, and hurt a snap amount when blinking. It's very slightly red and a decent amount larger than the inner corner of my other eye. I'm pretty sure its just an infection, but I don't know if I should do anything outside of washing it twice daily and waiting. Thanks.\n\nEdit: was a stye", "post_id": "6kd7iq"}, {"question": "Same. I can\u2019t say anything to help really. My partner is addicted and it\u2019s so incredibly painful", "comment": "I know I'm overly sensitive about this stuff due to being cheated on and feeling used etc. But just wondering if I'm the only one, I find it especially more hurtful when I saw my boyfriend just watching women alone, I can try my best to rationalise and understand people watch it for the act, but it hurts to think he may watch to seek a better body etc.", "post_id": "cc3357"}, {"question": "To quote someone brilliant: \u201cI absolutely understand as I\u2019m on the verge of doing that but please do not do this. I know that whatever I say won\u2019t make you feel better in any way but fuck, please don\u2019t do this. I\u2019m here if you need to talk.\u201d\n\nI mean it, too.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ah3aul"}, {"question": "There are sometimes support groups in your local area for umbrella subjects, like \"depression\" or \"anxiety\" or even just \"life skills.\" That may be something more along the lines of what you are looking for.", "comment": "I know about the suicide hotline.   But is there something equivalent to Alcoholics Anonymous for people dealing with suicidal thoughts (in the US)?  Thanks and be well.", "post_id": "dd36b3"}, {"question": "call 911", "comment": "Here's a bit of backstory:I've been friends with this guy (let's call him Tom cause i dont want to say his real name) for over 4 years now,throughout junior high and now in senior high (we're 16.). Tom has,or at least pretends to,that's how I see it,mental issues. He claims to have bipolar depression and wants to go to a psychologist,is bisexual,though I haven't noticed anything erotic between him and other guys,listens to edgy stuff like lil peep,has a fuck life attitude and wants to suicide,which I've gotten tired of trying to prevent to be honest.Now that we're in senior high,there's that girl (let's call her Alice) that he's gained interest in recently,mainly because she talks to him a lot and jokes around with him.On Friday (it's Sunday as I'm writing this),he asked me if I wanted to go out,but I couldn't,and he said \"Fine,I'll go ask Alice out\". I didn't think he said that as in he wanted to date her,and I thought OK,fair enough.On Saturday,I go out with Alice and we go see Alien and all that jazz,just the 2 of us,so sort of a date.Then,when I'm home,she messages me at around midnight. We talk a bit and I confess that I like her and she likes me too (yay).Today, I add a bit of info on my Steam profile (relationship: taken). Tom messages me and he's like \"oh wtf who is she\". He finds out and he goes nuts,I called him but he was just screaming in my ear,I told him that I'm sorry and that I didn't know but he didn't listen,tells me not to talk to him at school and that \"we are done\",then proceeds to block me on all social media.What do I do to calm him down,and mainly not getting him killed,though to be quite honest I'm tired of talking him out of suicide so many times,to the point where I believe he does it deliberately (don't know why). Please note that I'm leaving town in around 2 months so my relationship with Alice won't be long lived either way.\n\n\nTL:DR I dated the girl my somewhat psychotic suicidal best friend likes when he wanted to and got into a relationship with her,now friend blocked me on everything,won't talk to me and might suicide cause of mental issues.What do I do to bring him back to normal (or as normal as he can be).Thank you in advance for your advice.", "post_id": "6cforo"}, {"question": "My psychiatrist told me that wellbutrin can worsen anxiety since it is activating/energizing. I used xanax as needed for my anxiety, but my anxiety is a lot lower than many people's and is largely a result of my depression (so, if the depression is managed the anxiety is managed). She told me that if the anxiety remained we could try an SSRI like zoloft to add to the wellbutrin which would help manage the anxiety while keeping the positive aspects of the wellbutrin. I did find that the side effects from wellbutrin were bad for a month or two, so you might try seeing where you're at after about 2 months on wellbutrin so you tweak your RXs (whether getting off wellbutrin or adding something else) after the effects of the wellbutrin have stabilized. ", "comment": "I've been taking Wellbutrin for about 5 weeks now (~2 of those overlapped with Effexor, which I was transitioning from), and I'm really concerned about what I've become. My anxiety got a lot worse, I never feel calm, my blood pressure has increased (nothing dangerous though), I get angered and irritated extremely easily, I've almost completely stopped talking to my family, and whatever motivation I previously had to do any kind of work has almost disappeared. Doc told me that things should improve in about 4-6 weeks from start, but the only change I've been noticing up to this point has been negative.\n\nI will be talking to my doc about this soon, so no need to tell me to do that. I'm mostly posting this to find out: has anyone's experience on Wellbutrin been similar to mine? What did you end up doing?\n\nEDIT: Grammar", "post_id": "4wlyqt"}, {"question": "This [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) has all the info you need :)", "comment": "Does anyone have any tips on how I can take conversations deeper? This is what I have at the moment.\n\n* Ask why. \"Why did you decide to become a teacher?\" \"Why'd you get into dancing?\" - sometimes this will get a good answer, but often they'll just shrug.\n* Find an area where they (or you) are passionate and highly knowledgable", "post_id": "11csgt"}, {"question": "If you live in a place where there are a number of meetings to choose from, try going to 6 different groups to find the one you like the best. Not all meetings are the same. Some have larger crowds, some smaller and more intimate. Usually, a group will reflect the demographics of the neighborhood. Attend a meeting near the university or on campus you\u2019re going to see more young people. It can be helpful to attend a meeting where you encounter people somewhat similar to yourself. Meeting someone like yourself who\u2019s made significant progress can be encouraging.", "comment": "I feel as if it may trigger me more than help.", "post_id": "dwlejp"}, {"question": "Treating multiple family members is not inherently unethical,  and CAN be done well. There are therapists who are well trained in this and do a good job. It sounds like your therapist fits in this category.\n\n However , Treating multiple people in a family is a slippery slope , and can potentially open the door to a host of ethical and clinical concerns.  There was a post here (or in a similar sub) recently,  in which a woman described concerns with a therapist who was treating both her and her husband.  This became a problem because both husband and wife felt they were getting conflicting and confusing feedback.\n\nI'm really glad you had a good experience with your therapist.", "comment": "Did some light research and it seems like it's a gray area whether a therapist should treat multiple members from the same family, because it can be difficult to remain objective. I personally liked the idea of my therapist seeing the bigger picture to my family dynamics by seeing my sister and mom as well (she no longer sees my sister at all, and my mom only very rarely). I have never felt like my therapist has crossed a boundary otherwise.", "post_id": "h9jmgl"}, {"question": "Yep. I'm struggling with parenting atm. Some days I find my kid so interesting and awesome to be around and other days every minute feels like pulling teeth. Today is one of the teeth days :(", "comment": "TL;DR: my life is good, why am I depressed, what things help you guys?\n\nI successfully graduated college about a year ago in mechanical engineering. It was so hard and I poured all my energy into it. Now I am working at a good company and doing well. I live with my great fianc\u00e9 and an adorable dog. Our jobs are secure. We are planning a wedding. Live in a cool city with nice apartment. \n\nWhy the f*ck do I not have the energy to get out bed in the morning. Everything feels so much harder. My whole life Ive had depressive episodes. But not like this? \n\nI stopped taking birth control to help, (it did some). I got a therapist for ADHD and have been seeing her for months now. I am also working with my prescribing doctor to try Concerta instead of adderall. \n\nI feel so mentally bored and unstimulated. Is this just what adulthood is? My brain feels like it\u2019s turning to mush. I am trying so hard. Does anyone have any advice on things they\u2019ve done to break out of slumps? Or how to find satisfaction in adulthood? \n\nTo me, the way I\u2019m feeling is a sign that I need to change something in my external environment. I\u2019m not exactly sad, just feel empty and numb and bored and hopeless. Sometimes I feel like I\u2019m only happy when I\u2019m so stressed I don\u2019t have time to think about it. I have no motivation to do even things I think I want to do, much less bare necessities. And I\u2019ve lost the confidence in myself that I can change or do better. Usually it comes back eventually. \n\nThis is a problem to solve, what are some things that have helped you bounce back? I am looking for inspiration and ideas and to just not feel alone. \n\n (Side note, this began way before the pandemic but it definitely doesn\u2019t help)", "post_id": "gk0nmm"}, {"question": "I don't know of good studies on occasional smokers, but a rough estimate of risk would be taking the risks of a daily smoker and dividing it by the amount that you smoke. So it's not zero risk, but it's much lower risk.", "comment": "Required info: Age: 19; Height: 6\u20193\u201d; Weight: 205; Gender: Male\n\nQuick question about tobacco. I don\u2019t smoke cigarettes and I don\u2019t dip or anything. My only tobacco use is either a cigar on super special occasions, or in a moke or backwoods blunt, so with a little weed, and weed use is maybe 3-4 times a month, so this is half that. \n\nHow bad is that?", "post_id": "8whiue"}, {"question": "Dr. George Vaillant was invited to be a non-alcoholic member of the AA board of trustees.  He was asked because of his expertise in the field of alcoholism treatment and his understanding of AA.  In AA's monthly magazine he was interviewed and he said that most people who recover do so without the help of AA.  I think this fact is an antidote to the big book thumpers who claim that AA is the only way to get sober.\n\nhttp://www.divisiononaddiction.org/html/reprints/vaillant.htm\n", "comment": "Is The Program personalized from one person to the next? I've met some really cool laid back folks, and I've met some wrath-of-god fiery preacher types in the same room.\n\nThe basics are the same- Don't drink, go to meetings, get a home group, call your sponsor, read the big book, and work the steps.\n\nThe reason I'm asking is because the baptist preacher-type quite frankly freak me the fuck out, and I'm just trying to navigate the rooms .\n\nAdvice?", "post_id": "2flpvz"}, {"question": "It probably isn't a good idea to go see a doctor where you don't want anything and it's not clear what someone else wants either.\n\nThat said, it also sounds like things are better than they were but definitely not all fine. That's probably what your doctor is looking for\u2014some help getting things from kind of okay to really fine. A good psychiatrist may have thoughts about your remaining symptoms, possible medication side effects, and where to try to improve on things from here.\n\nPsychiatrists are also well aware that the time commitment for therapy is unworkable for many people even leaving aside problems of insurance.", "comment": "- Age: 30\n- Sex: Male\n- Height: 5'10\"\n- Weight: 252\n- Race: White\n- Duration of complaint: 4-5 years\n- Location (Geographic and on body): USA Midatlantic\n- Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): Depression, Anxiety, ADD\n- Current medications (if any): Escitalopram - generic lexapro - (20 mg), Vyvanse (50 mg), and Zolpidem - generic ambien - (10 mg)\n\nHello,\n\nMy medical doctor wrote me a referral for a \"Psych Consult\" to a local psychiatric office and I was wondering what to expect/where it goes from here.\n\nThe details are as follows, but I can provide more if needed:\n\n- On SSRI, Vyvanse, and Zolpidem (Ambien)\n- Diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, ADD\n- Seen significant improvement, but still have low energy, low/no sex drive, sometimes feeling like \"nothing really matters\"/ no motivation, and some brief periods of sadness.\n- Already on medication, did CBT (10 weeks 4 years ago), and life is generally functional, but not great.\n- About 4 years ago, I gained 62 pounds (5'10\" and went from ~190 to 250) and started binge eating 2 or 3 days a week. The other 4-5 days I eat very healthy, but the binge days are bad. This never happened before until about 4 years ago.\n\nMain doctor wants me to go to the consult to just see what she says. No explicit goals or other instructions.\n\nI don't have the ability to leave work frequently for therapy or frequent visits and would prefer not to do that, but I don't want the Psych to think that I am against treatment, fishing for more meds, hostile, or whatever.\n\nSo, if I've already done CBT, am on meds, and in a stable, but not amazing situation, then what is the likely outcome or path forward I should expect from the psych or my main doctor?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "8bqnfc"}, {"question": "One would imagine that eventually he will make amends with his past, but it's hard to know how long that will take. So you have to decide what kind of friend you want to be with him, and also decide how patient you might want to be with his inner process. I'm not a big fan of the phrase \"meant to be\". I think the two of you simply have to define what your friendship is going to be moving forward.", "comment": "I met this guy last year. We bonded over a very similar backstory. We both developed feelings, but he's not able to make amends with his past. We tried, but he wasn't able to do so, and we are not together. But I've never met anyone like him. I know everyone says that, but he understands who I am completely, and I know him better than anyone in the world. Our chemistry is immaculate and quite the envy of my friends. I have no doubt in my mind that he is the love of my life, but I've been told that is silly and there's no way I could know that or that since he's not able to make amends with his past, it isn't \"meant to be.\" I'm uncertain as to what to do. ", "post_id": "5qdwhn"}, {"question": "Not a doc, but went through similar. Heart damage typically doesn\u2019t pop up overnight so you should be ok. Likely anxiety", "comment": "I am a 21 yom in healthy shape and I am not able to see my pcp for a couple weeks and I just wanted to get an opinion as to what I may be experiencing.\n\nSymptoms: Two weeks ago I had about a 20 minute period of my heart beating out of my chest with palpitations occurring every 2-3 minutes, this happened at midnight, but my heart rate was 65 bpm. I was anxious during the entire episode as well which I think made it worse. I would have very occasional palpitations before and went to a cardiologist 2 years ago and he ran tests and assured me my heart was fine. This episode freaked me out though and for the next two weeks I have had one or two random palpitations where I need to catch my breath after. Also have been having slight headaches regularly and would see stars out of nowhere. I woke up out of breath a couple days ago and have just not been feeling completely normal and just restless. During the day I have generally felt like I need to catch my breath even if I'm just sitting down. I also tend to overthink everything a lot and stress myself out and that makes these symptoms worse. When I am occupied or busy I tend not to notice symptoms. I am also on a low carb diet as of 4 months ago. No medications. \n\nI am a pharmacy student and have a big course load and in organizations which can cause me to be stressed regularly. I am hoping these symptoms are  just anxiety related and there isn't another underlying cause.  Any input would be appreciated!", "post_id": "72webx"}, {"question": "Doesn't sound like psychosis at all, more like severe anxiety.", "comment": "I've suffered from dissociation (depersonalisation / derealisation) and SEVERE intrusive thoughts for years now, 45 mg of mirtazapine + 225 mg of venlafaxine (effexor) doesn't help. I've even overdosed to 300 mg (and even as large as 375 mg if I remember correctly) instead of 225 mg despite not knowing whether I should or not as my doctor for some reason has stopped contacting me. She hasn't answered my emails or calls for months, for no reason. Although from day one I had a feeling she disliked me a lot. \n\nI also have delusional(?) thoughts about my friends and family abandoning me at some point. I am very anxious around them and I even have difficulty looking them in the eye and I might stutter while speaking to them, etc. This happens to me every day. It's good if I can hold one 5-minute conversation with them. It doesn't get any better, this has been going on since 2015, since 2014 with some. I feel like I need to say the right words or I feel like if I offend them they won't ever talk to me again. Every new day I meet them it's like they're complete strangers and I'm very anxious around them, afraid of them abandoning me. I also notice that at the most severe forms of this I lack empathy completely yet I still have these fearful thoughts of abandonment. Could this be some form of psychosis? Perhaps even schizophrenia? \n\nI really need help from someone. I believe I cannot go on like this for much longer.", "post_id": "6whnxg"}, {"question": "Congratulations! \ud83c\udf89\ud83c\udf89\ud83c\udf89\n\nThat's a huge accomplishment. In therapist school we'd be told to normalize relapse at this point, but I'm actually just excited for you \ud83d\ude01", "comment": "Thank you all for helping me achieve sobriety! I love you all. Iwdwyt", "post_id": "d9w4n0"}, {"question": "I have never been on an antidepressant before Wellbutrin, and I'm currently on week three, as of today actually. Since I'm so unfamiliar with antidepressants its really hard to say how big the changes have been, but I am more in control of my negative thinking than I was before, which also reduced my anxiety a little bit. I still have relapses in my anxiety, but it feels like it occurs less. My girlfriend today said that \"I've noticed you've been more happy the past week or two.\"\n\nBut it had some side effects, as of now the only thing I have is constant dry mouth (so I get bad breath a lot), and occasional headaches. \n\nThere was like a week and a half where I had an excruciating headache almost every day, and sometimes they would last up to like 4-5 hours. Now I get an occasional mild headache, maybe once or twice in the past week. I used to clinch my jaw really hard as well, I'm noticing it less than I was before, but I still think I clinch my jaw because its occasionally sore. Maybe two or three days in, I had a really weird depersonalization trip which made me want to stop using it. I was playing a videogame, and then I just started staring at the TV without doing anything for what felt like 3-4 minutes, it felt like I had tunnel vision just staring at the colors on the TV, my mouth just started hanging open too. Luckily that only happened once, but it made me feel really loopy.\n\nThat's all I can really provide, I don't know how antidepressants normally feel. As far as the energy goes, I noticed I'm not nearly as tired during most of the day (from waking up to about 6pm), but I crash really hard in the evenings (10pm+). Its to the point where I can't sit and watch TV without dozing off.", "comment": "I have taken both Zoloft and celexa in the past. I thought Zoloft made me feel lethargic and groggy. Celexa was decent but I ended up discontinuing it because I thought I could handle my anxiety since I graduated college. I've been off celexa for about 10 months now and am going to talk to my doctor about starting one again. I was thinking about trying. wellbutrin. I am generally somewhat tired all the time the way it is and heard wellbutrin increases energy. Celexa gave me terrible dry mouth and made me put on a few extra pounds. Nothing crazy. Just 5 or so pounds. I've also heard wellbutrin is correlated to weight loss.\nAny input is much appreciated", "post_id": "2oj1s9"}, {"question": "We\u2019re natural born helpers who do the work we do because of this. It\u2019s my passion and what I love to do so this is a way to help (within reason - I\u2019m not giving therapy via Reddit just answering questions or giving compassion and empathy). We have the experience and expertise to answer questions for folks who are wondering about going to therapy and what that\u2019s like. We also kind give people some support or resources they wouldn\u2019t have otherwise. Also I think having people who are in the business that can answer questions about \u201cis this normal for my T to do\u201d is important because it\u2019s a way to help protect vulnerable people who might be in a situation that is legally or ethically questionable or give support in \u201cyes this is normal and here\u2019s why\u201d etc.  \n\nIt\u2019s kind of like a artist who paints for their own enjoyment because it\u2019s their passion not just painting with the intent to make money. The only analogy I could think of atm so it\u2019s wobbly and I\u2019m sure can have holes punched through it but it\u2019s sort of accurate.", "comment": "After spending so much time at work it's surprising you do extra work for free. It's very kind but I'm just wondering why :)", "post_id": "egxrhx"}, {"question": "I don't think it's really an either/or question.  Yes... to both.  I think there's always an underlying reason whether it's biological, genetic, behavioral, personality, trauma, etc. but at the same time, we don't know all the answers to all the whys yet for certain specific things, so there's plenty more to discover.\n\n\n    ", "comment": "Do you think there is an explanation for every human act or behavior if you peel back enough layers of the onion ? Or do you think there is still so much left to discover about the human psyche. ", "post_id": "a8z259"}, {"question": "That is awesome!! Congrats to you!!!", "comment": "I never imagined myself being able to say that 3 years ago. Back then not drinking for a couple days was a huge accomplishment for me. I don't visit this sub as often anymore but I drop in from time to time to read about everyone's journey. I just wanted to stop in and thank everyone in this sub for being amazing. I never would have had the courage to stop drinking or the resolve to stay sober without you all! Thanks!", "post_id": "bjvozc"}, {"question": "I having been doing this with my Vyvanse for the past 8 years. It has been a lifesaver!  ", "comment": "I'm the typical(After thinking about it I might not be typical. Let me know in the comments!) ADHD paitent with sleep issues. \n\n1. I stay up as long as I can because reading random Wikipedia pages and finding new \"hobbies\" sounds soo much more stimulating than sleeping even though I know that I already have to be awake in 6 hours.\n\n2. I wake up quite often but always want to go back to sleep. I can sleep all day and still be tired. (At least I think this is an issue the rest of you all have.)\n\n3. Even though my psychiatrist prescribed me trazadone/zzzquil/melatonin I don't take them because I don't want to go to sleep and if I do take them I will stay up past their half life and they won't work. (I'm pretty sure some of y'all deal with this aswell?)\n\nI like to wake up at the latest 10am so what I've been doing is keeping my meds and a bottle of water by my bedside. Setting an alarm for 7am and taking my meds at that time. Then I set one for 830. Usually if the 830 alarm doesn't wake me up I will already be awake and out of bed making my coffee.\n\nI have told my psychiatrist that I do this and he has never had any complaints. \n\nI can still sleep till noon even if I do this but I have to really really really be wanting sleep. I try and not do that though because using this method can make me a slight bit drowsy during the day.\n\nOverall I would prefer to be slightly drowsy than waste away 4 hours of my day resting but not ever feeling refreshed.", "post_id": "70xm5d"}, {"question": "this will not be an easy process. just have to process slowly and maybe even get family therapy if you get stuck.", "comment": "My apologies if I did this wrong. My nephew has shown me reddit before but I have never posted here on Relationship Advice before. I am 48 and so is my wife. We have two daughter's who are 23 and 20. My eldest daughter is married, my youngest daughter is not. My son-in-law is also 23. This morning my eldest daughter revealed that her husband has gotten my youngest daughter pregnant. She gave her husband divorce papers and says my younger daughter is dead to her and she will never see or speak to her again. My youngest daughter and son-in-law do not deny the allegations. The admit that it is all true and my eldest daughter is correct. My youngest daughter admits the affair was mutual even though my wife kept saying it must not have been. My eldest daughter left. My son-in-law went home because he thought she was there but he says she isn't and her clothes and things are gone. My youngest daughter lives with us and hasn't left her room since my eldest daughter left here. My wife has been crying all morning. I admit that I am not the most emotional or sensitive, my parents were good people but in my house no one showed any feelings. Since this morning I am feeling so many different emotions. We have other family members staying with us and coming over for dinner. I don't even know how to fathom dealing with this.\n\nMy tl;dr summary question is how can I deal with what happened and the fallout from my youngest daughter (who is 20) getting pregnant my my eldest daughter's husband (they are both 23) and my eldest daughter filing for divorce and saying my youngest daughter is dead to her?", "post_id": "5kabum"}, {"question": "You got it backwards. The line is also missing a crucial word.  It's not Living well is the best revenge, it's living well for yourself is the best revenge. When you start living for you, and only you, and not to show those who wronged you that they are wrong, then you will be able to find happiness. You have to learn to let go of those grudges. If you keep holding onto poison it will make everything you touch die. ", "comment": "God, I hate this line. Because it will never happen for me, at this rate. My list of 'people who've wronged me' is a long one. At the height of each (real or imagined) offense, I always swear (in my head)  that I'll *show them one day*, always imagine running into them at some point in the future -- when I'm successful, stable and happy.\n\nBut I've done nothing with my life, and have no one (I'm married to a neurotypical, so feel lonely where it counts). If I saw anyone on my list, I'd painstakingly avoid being seen by them because there's not a single one of them I have proven wrong. As it turns out, I *am* a loser, and deserve all the bad things they've done/said.", "post_id": "8vl5uu"}, {"question": "Taking melatonin is fine.\n\nIs this Effexor XR or plain Effexor? If the former, you should probably take it in the morning to avoid messing up sleep.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "f9jnek"}, {"question": "This completely depends on the problem they are having . There is no one solution.", "comment": "Let's say a wife and husband are having a difficult relationship and have many disagreements but choose to see a therapist to try to fix the relationship \n\nAt a high level, how would a therapist go about repairing that relationship?\n\nWould a therapist help the two see their commonalities/similarities and the strengthens in each other?\n\nAs a therapist, I would ask questions like why did you two fall in love, etc to invoke those strong memories", "post_id": "g2sslj"}, {"question": "I feel this deeply. I keep trying to take risks and push myself out of my comfort zone to meet other people. I\u2019m happy on my own, but I also long for partnership and to build a life with someone. I\u2019m working on my own goals and feeling great about that, but I still get lonely.", "comment": "I wish I could find my person already. \n\nI\u2019m surrounded by people but I\u2019m lonely. I\u2019m good on my own but fuck, some days when you crash, and there\u2019s no one to turn to....I want that one person I can come home to that can hold me or that I can pour my heart out to. \n\nWhy does it take so long to find that person. I thought I found that person and then it all went to shit and I went back to being on my own. \n\nI just want to be held. And loved. And understood. And comfortable enough to just fall apart in my entirety in front of them and know they\u2019ll be there while I put myself back together, when I\u2019m whole, or when I\u2019m in shambles.  \n\nTo that person \u2014 where the FUCK are you and why are you taking so long to get here? \n\nTo the person I thought was that person \u2014 fuck you because now where there was once ignorance and bliss, there is an empty hole craving to be filled with someone else\u2019s nurturing no matter how complete I am without someone else. \n\nI am a huge advocate of self growth before relationships but shit. I can have all my shit together and I\u2019m always going to feel this way. I\u2019ve daydreamed about true love my whole life, it\u2019s just who I am. I don\u2019t need it but God, do I fucking want it so badly.", "post_id": "bw5qfs"}, {"question": "there's a difference between the pilot light being off, or flickering. if it's the latter, go to marriage counseling. if it's been off for a long time, you probably won't get the feelings back.", "comment": "Throw away here \u2013 \nI\u2019m going to try and make a super long story short.  Married for 12 years, dated for 6 weeks before marriage, have twin 9 year old kids. Both of us had emotionally scaring childhoods, although very different. My wife has horribly sexually abused for years by a family member from about 8 -12.  I had emotionally/completely uninvolved parents and never learned how to deal with my emotions/situations/people. \n\nWe were a perfect match at first because she had a ton of emotional pain to give, and I took it all because I myself had been hiding mine for years and didn\u2019t share anything. We went through a lot of emotionally traumatic things (some of which might seem petty, but they weren\u2019t to her so they weren\u2019t to me and I took all the pain she had).  Her childhood, she steals now because of it, eating disorders, hair loss, difficulty with childbirth (IVF eventually), on and on.  Through all of it for years and years I didn\u2019t acknowledge myself, my wants, needs or desires and lived to only fill hers.  Eventually being the only emotional outlet she had (coupled with a subconscious desire to start living a life for me) made me break.  For a while I had been feeling emotionally drained, then dead towards her.  I snapped one day and told her I couldn\u2019t do it anymore and I was done.\n\nThat was 4 months ago.  Since the day I told her that we have been in couples therapy every week (we started on the day I told her), and a week later I got my own therapist that I have seen every week.  I understand a lot more about the dysfunction in our childhood and in our marriage now than before.  I also am becoming aware of my emotional needs (that I swallowed for 40 years).  My issue is I feel absolutely no different towards my wife.  We are doing everything to repair what was broke. Therapy, dating, trips alone, acts of service to each other, etc.  But nothing has changed for me.  I love her but don\u2019t care about her anymore (if that makes sense, I\u2019m afraid it sounds harsher than I mean).\n\nShe\u2019s a good person, and a great mother. She\u2019s smart, we are mostly on raising the children, politics, activities, etc.  She\u2019s still incredibly attractive.  We enjoy each others company, and for the most part have a good sex life (still).  But the feelings for her are not coming back in anyway.  The last out of town trip we had (which we both enjoyed) I pictured her there with someone else.  And I didn\u2019t care.  Then I pictured myself with someone else and I felt no better or worse.  My wife is completely exchangeable in that regard.\n\nSo my dilemma is how long do we keep at this?  How long do I make her keep working toward us when I\u2019m not changing.  And on top of that should I just accept what I have and move on.  We do work incredibly well together and neither of us have major complaints about the other.  I feel like I\u2019m in a no win.  I either choose myself and have a chance to finally find who I am, things I like, and find real true happiness but in the process of that leave my wife, break up my family, and subject my kids to a broken home. Or I stay in this relationship keep doing the \u201cright\u201d thing and find peace in knowing a lot of people have it worse than me and my kids will have a steady two parent home.  (As a side note, if I didn\u2019t have my kids who are amazing and mean everything to me I probably would have already left my wife)\n\nTLDR; My wife and I have a good relationship but incredibly complex broken childhoods behind them and our early trauma has led me a breaking point, and even though we are working on things together I don\u2019t care about her anymore.\n", "post_id": "67whao"}, {"question": "I doubt its encephalitis. A GP could do some bloods though should your symptoms persist.", "comment": "Hello, I am 22 and a male. I have been having these issues for 6 days now and they only feel like they're getting worse. I have went to the hospital where the doctor had dismissed my claims and said there's no medical reason for me being unwell. I am very stressed and afraid because if it's a misdiagnose there's a chance I can die or be left with permanent brain damage. \n\nI have recently been stressed due to work and lifestyle and have recently had a recurrence of cold sore on my lip which I rarely ever get. I am normally quite resilient to most illnesses and wouldn't make big issues over most of the stuff I go through.  I have recently been feeling very unwell though. I have bad headaches and my eyes are really sensitive to light. I can't read things from a distance that I used to be able to read before 6 days ago. I feel very ill as well like vomiting and have had bad stomach aches and diarrhea.\n\nI find myself speaking differently as well in that I've begin to stammer when I never before but maybe this is a mental thing. I also feel very weak in that it can be hard for me to use leg muscles to climb stairs. When I look at everything it all seems surreal as well like I can't focus. I had also touched my coldsore before I realised it was a coldsore and rubbed my eyes and nose repeatedly. \n\nI thought I was fatigued but even after resting and taking it easy I still feel nauseous and my eyes are sensitive to light. I looked online and found out about viral encephalitis and feel as if most of the symptoms fit except for sever fever. I get shivers and very hot randomly sometimes independant on the whether or what I'm wearing and I haven't passed out or went into a coma yet.  I went into the hospital and asked them to please check for it and give me a blood test or MRI or CT scan or anything to rule it out. I don't want this to be treated after I've slipped into a coma or after I've suffered irreparable brain damage. \n\nDo you think the doctor was right and there's nothing wrong and maybe it is fatigue (I thought it could be fatigue intially) ? or do you think I should get checked and there might be something wrong? \n\nThanks.\n\nEdit 1: Have not taken any DNP or other crap that's in my history. Was curious about them. Also I said 6 days but the severe headaches and stuff began yesterday though I've had the cold sore for 6. \n\nEdit 2: Another thing I forgot to mention is that it feels as if my bowels/(asshole?) is being tickled with a feather or something is crawling inside them. It also feels like my brain is being tickled as well or ants are crawling on them. \n\nUPDATE: Went to my GP and he told me also doesn't think it's encephalitis at my current condition. He gave me a form and said if it doesn't get better by Tuesday then come in for a CRP, FBC, LBO and UE. He said if I start feeling worse and actually start to vomit and headaches get worse then go to the hospital and give them the form. He also said that if I start to become disorientated to the stage I get confused where I am then also go. \n\nHe couldn't explain why I can't see as well though. As in my vision hasn't changed but at a distance I can longer make out words or letters and my brain feels sluggish at putting the words together to make a word. I'll see how it goes and see how I feel tomorrow. I'm actually intrigued to what it could be. They did suggest at the hospital for me to see the mental health team though. I don't know why as I'm not suicidal or anything. \n", "post_id": "4zorbr"}, {"question": "It does sound as though he's being rather jerkish about this. \n\nPersonally, I'd take my power back and be very blunt and assertive with him. Granted,  if you do this he will likely blow up and try to get control of the situation back in his favor, assuming that if he gets upset enough you will back down. If you go this route, stand your ground at all costs.\n\nHe seems to have forgotten (or not care) that your body is YOURS. You do not need to continuously explain that it hurts, no means no. Period. If he becomes passive aggressive and says things like \"you need to learn to keep up\" tell him if that's how he feels, there's the door, because you are intimate with him by your choice alone. You are not property, and it really bothers me that youre being treated as such. He tries anyway after you tell him no? Absolutely unacceptable. He has no respect for you or your body. \n\nThe reason he becomes distant is because he didnt get what he wanted and is trying to \"punish\" you for it. I've been in a very similar situation,  which is why I probably seem so upset about this. Please understand my frustration is 100% towards how he treats you, and not towards you.\n\nIf he is the kind of person I'm imagining he is, this suggestion wont likely work but I will offer it anyway: before you guys get In a heated moment try discussing the issue with him. Before he tries to make a move, and before things get intimate.  Explain your concerns and be very direct about it. \"I've noticed you get frustrated with me when I dont want to have sex with you sometimes, and when I say it hurts and I dont want to, you either disregard what im saying or become passive aggressive followed by becoming incredibly distant. What are your thoughts on that?\" I'd also take this opportunity to explain to him your body is yours and you dont EVER have to be intimate with him if you dont want to. \n\nPlease PM me if you ever want to discuss this further. I sincerely want to help, and I've been in a relationship like this before. I understand the feeling of not knowing what to do - and how no matter what you do in this situation its \"wrong\" in his eyes. My heart goes out to youm", "comment": "My relationship is very sexed up. We shove, slap, choke, push each other's faces against walls, and call one another some pretty blush-worthy names. \n\nDon't get me wrong. We're not constantly a pair of bunnies; however, if at least one us is hot and ready... the other will soon follow suit. It's go time. And this will normally go on for a few hours at a time. \n\nIf I have not made it clear enough, we have very rough sex. That's all fine and dandy, but my vag is not indestructible. Sometimes it hurts TOO MUCH because of the previous session and I just can't do it. I need the R&R. The problem is, my boyfriend will try to get things going between us and when I tell him I really can't at the moment, he'll proceed to be miffed at me. \n\nHe either:\n\na) Says something passive aggressive: \"You need to learn to keep up\"\n\nb) Tries anyway (only when I've persistently whined and complained about the pain will he stop)\n\nAfter that's all said and done, he's distant. His vocabulary dissolves into monosyllables, he won't touch me. He will completely ignore what has just gone down. I don't know, it's as if I'm stepping on his pride when my lustiness doesn't outweigh the raging pain in my lady region. \n\nWhat can I say to get him to understand how and why his behavior during these types of situations is not okay?\n", "post_id": "2a0zf0"}, {"question": "Using my alt because I'm pretty ashamed to be in the same spot you are, struggling with weight long-term.  But I did want to reach out a friendly hand.  \n  \nAfter relapsing I read a really interesting book (unfortunately the title escapes me of course) whose author interviewed several people with different diet methods and weight issues.   \n  \nSomething that stuck out to me was the \"obsession\" with food that some of the dieters had.  Not like an engrossing weird obsession, but that it was never far from their thoughts.   I don't know if this relates to you, but the author did a series of casual social experiments and talked about how food triggers something in some people which just makes it harder to be healthy.    \n  \n\nHe would do his interviews in a room with candy out or something, and halfway through he'd ask how the candy made the person feel.  Some people didn't even notice it or didn't care at all, while others couldn't help focusing in.  One woman admitted that it was extremely stressful just to have food in the room.  (this woman worked out every day excessively to keep from gaining weight as she found it hard to control her eating)  They talked about habits like cleaning plates or \"getting your money's worth\" in terms of eating and how this related to a later preoccupation with food.   \n  \n  \nI know for me at least it was partially upbringing.  I had \"clean your plate\" parents, and my dad has the \"food obsession\" problem.  If we're out to eat, he'll never leave anything on his plate and will take whatever other people don't eat.  If there is candy in the living room bowl, he'll eat 5 pieces while watching TV regardless of not really liking it.  He can't just not eat it.  After reading that book and dropping some weight, I started to notice how he would actually become anxious if I insisted that I wanted to take my food home, and that he needed to leave it alone.   \n  \n  I notice these same poisonous habits in myself now.  Initially after moving out I dropped a lot of weight by obsessing about food in a positive way (health and nutrition) but as soon as I stop dieting the preoccupation leads me into unhealthy habits.  My \"naturally skinny\" friends don't have this problem.  They can forget to eat until their stomach growls.  And then, if it's late and they're tired, they don't think it's worth it to make food anyway.  This never happens to me.  It's ALWAYS worth the effort to make or buy food.  I never \"forget\" to eat.   \n  \nThere are some things I simply have to do nonstop to keep from regaining weight.  Before I started doing these, my whole life revolved around maintaining weight or dieting, otherwise I was gaining.  I don't know if this will help you, but it's helped me to reach a maintenance where I'm not constantly struggling and bouncing up and down.  I find it easier to upkeep with these basic rules than to try to go 100% all the time.  \n  \n1. Pasta and bread don't enter the house.  It's easiest to control myself at the supermarket, but once they are in the house I WILL eat them.  So they just don't enter.  Try striking your worst offenders from the grocery list (and don't kid yourself that this time you won't eat it all).  \n  \n2. I don't buy pre-made food.  No drive-through McD, no enchiladas from the supermarket.  I do struggle on this one, but keeping microwavable veggies and lots of fruit at home helps.  I keep diet coke in the car to distract myself.    \n  \n3. I never suggest going out to eat.  If my friends suggest it, that's fine.  But I'm not the one who suggests it.  I will never say \"let's get food\" or complain that I'm hungry until someone else does.  (a good amount of shame about your weight helps with this one, unfortunately)   \n  \nThat's it.  Sticking to those allows me to maintain without making my whole freaking life revolve around it.  It may sound pathetic to need to keep coke in the car to keep yourself from getting McD, but it's more pathetic to regain weight for the 3rd time.", "comment": "God motherfucking dammit!  I did it again!  I threw away months of exercise and eating right for months of being a gluttonous slob.  I broke the hard-earned good habits I busted my fat, buttery, balls ingraining into my life and went back to my shitty old ones.  And it's not the first time.\n\nFor fucking years I've kept failing.  Living a healthy life style and getting slimmer and fitter, for weeks, sometimes months at a time.  And then fucking it all to hell and giving up like a fucking limped-dicked lazy asshole.  I know how to lose weight.  Ignorance isn't the problem I'm not some clueless fatty who blames his metabolism or nature.  I know what I'm throwing away when I relapse and reach for those donuts and fries.  \n\nBut I'm somehow stupid enough to tell myself that I'll get back on track before I regain the flab and lose the muscle mass, or that I never cared about my fitness in the first place, because no matter how much better I look and how much more human I feel, I'm dumb enough to start looking back at my laziness and careless eating with nostalgia.  \n\nYet again, I clawed my way out of the pit, and yet again my bad habits drug me back in like a boulder chained to my cankles.  I'm not sure it's worth trying again.  I've failed time after time, why the fuck would the next time being any different?  Why the ever-loving fuck!?!  I can't trust myself, and I'm the only one who can change this.", "post_id": "1modpa"}, {"question": "I know nothing about the company you referenced but I do know that tests like that are available. I work at a mental health clinic and our lab does that sometimes for clients when the psychiatrist orders it. Like you said, I think they order medications from most to least effective given your results. \n\nI've never done it myself but I've had multiple clients swear by it. ", "comment": "Picked my drugs up at the local Rite Aid and the pharmacist pitched me on this \"Harmonyx diagnostics\" genetic test because she saw that I have ADHD. Pretty much, this private lab looks for certain genes (I'm guessing DRD4 variant etc?) and ranks the various ADHD drugs from Red (last resort) to Yellow (try second) to Green (try first) relative to your genetic make up. Sounds a little hokey, but I've been a psychiatric patient for most of my young adult life and have bounced between drugs for years now...I'll take the results with a grain of salt, of course. I'm guessing that I don't have the DRD4 variant because I'm ADHD PI and get really anxious on stimulants. Hm. ", "post_id": "2s0bvp"}, {"question": "I don't know if this will help, but she sounds terrible. Maybe she's not a terrible person, but she was terrible to you. Don't mourn too much for someone or something that doesn't exist - you should find someone you treats you well.\n\nI feel you on the holidays bit, that's the worst time in the world to be single. Yet, so many breakups occur right before. Surround yourself with understanding people!", "comment": "TL;DR Thought things were going great with this girl, she doesn't want a relationship, won't talk to me in person, and now I'm really depressed.\n\nIf interested, here's some backstory https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/3riuwp/my_24f_girlfriend_is_mad_at_me_and_i_m26_dont/\n\nWell, it turns out that she is not ready to have a committed relationship and that she never considered me her boyfriend or had plans to (we technically were unofficial, but there have been mentions of boyfriend/girlfriend informally) She then brings up one night a month ago where I jokingly and drunkingly told her friend I was going to marry her someday. This confuses me because 1. That was so long ago and 2. I was drunk and in no way shape or form kneeling down on one knee with a ring. She won\u2019t talk to me in person and I feel like I mean so little to her.\n\nNow, I\u2019m just depressed. I\u2019ll have nights where I cry and moments where I yearn for her again, but overall I just feel empty inside. I feel like I have no motivation to do anything, my work has suffered, I barely sleep, and I think I\u2019m becoming an alcoholic (I\u2019m incredibly hungover at work right now, I\u2019ve been drinking until late in the night all the time, and I\u2019m looking forward to it tonight) \n\nHonestly, I think some of the depression comes from the fact that I meant so little to her, rather than just losing her. I feel like the whole time I\u2019ve known her was a waste, and I could have used all the time, effort, and money on something more important. I told all my friends and family about her, and they were looking forward to meeting her. I thought we had something really special. Now I\u2019m going to be alone for the holidays (again) tell my friends and family that things with a girl I really liked and was dating didn\u2019t work out (again) and put on a fake smile when I see family members and friends during the holidays (again). I miss her, I miss having someone who wants me, I miss having to not worry about anything, I miss not having to pretend I\u2019m okay when I\u2019m really not. Sorry for the rant, I just really need feel better.", "post_id": "3skgne"}, {"question": "Are you in treatment for the anxiety?", "comment": "Hello,\n\n40 year-old female, 5'8\", 130lbs, mixed race.\n\nI've been extra stressed out lately and am afraid of going to sleep. Anxiety's been quite bad, and I get nauseous often and dizzy sometimes. Usually the left side of my chest gets quite tight, especially when I go to bed. \n\nA couple of nights ago my chest was quite tight, and when I lay on my left side it felt like something kinda \"popped\" in my heart. It wasn't painful at all. Then the tightness was gone and my chest hasn't really been tight since. I kept thinking that it felt like a valve popped or something, but that's probably just the feeling and not reality, right?\n\nI still get a little bit of chest pain, but now it feels like it's in the muscles around the heart area as opposed to the heart area itself (I know our hearts don't hurt, but that's the best way to describe it). But the tightness is rather mild now in comparison to what I normally feel, and it kinda feel like my heartbeat's a little \"watery\" (don't know how else to say this).\n\nIt's always best to go to the doctor, but I probably can't for a few more days, so if you have any comments I'd really appreciate it.\n\nThank you in advance!", "post_id": "jq6gy4"}, {"question": "If there is a local university- you may see if they have a training clinic. Graduate students training to be therapists ( supervised by licensed therapists) conduct therapy at a low fee or even free.\n\nMay look online to see if there is local community mental health agencies. Some offer free or heavily discounted therapy to low income/uninsured people.\n\nIf all else fails- consider talking to a therapist and explaining your situation. Some will we willing to lower their rates or even do ProBono. \n\nAnd if there are local support groups- you can attend those. These offer some support and some members may be able to offer you local advice.", "comment": "I'm 21 years old, at kind of stuck with my job that doesn't offer insurance...none whatsoever. I live on meets end every month, so I can't save money at all. Every month I have maybe $50 to spare and usually it goes towards something in the end anyway. \n\nI need some kind of professional help...talking to friends no longer works like it used to, and coping with my stress just doesn't do it anymore...What can I do about seeing professional help? ", "post_id": "1ejzt7"}, {"question": "not 100%", "comment": "My boyfriend ( 18 M ) and I ( 21 F ) have been dating for 4 years. I recently found out he (18 M ) cheated on me ( 21 F ) he (18M) cried when I confronted him. We broke up for one week because he came back crying. Will cheaters always be cheaters or do people change ? ", "post_id": "71prjl"}, {"question": "Go ahead and write it! Don't worry about if it'll be successful or not. I think it will be a great way to understand yourself and your journey in life and at the end of it, you'll have *written a book*, which is far more than most people can say. \n\nI think it's great to take your unique experiences in life and create something lasting and meaningful out of it.", "comment": "I wanted to write a book a long time ago and this idea came to me just a few days ago\nBasically it's about all my problems I had growing up, the bullies, the family fights, and how i ended going to therapy. Fixed my relationship with my family and got to college where I'm facing new problems.\nI kinda want this to be a history of how a kid of 12 yo started facing all this problems and overcome them to be a better person.\n\nI want to know if anyone of you will be interested in reading a book like this.\nOr should I keep it to myself, maybe I should write about something else?\nI really appreciate your opinions.", "post_id": "gmtjz7"}, {"question": "Absolutely 100% appropriate, and if she isn\u2019t able to receive your request without ego and at least attempt to accommodate, I would look elsewhere. During my initial session with new clients, I explicitly encourage feedback and make it clear that my job/goal is to provide support in ways that are most helpful to the client. It isn\u2019t at all about me or my preferences. Therapists train in multiple treatment modalities because people have varying needs, preferences, learning styles etc. \nIt\u2019s also totally fine to terminate with her and find someone else if it feels like you aren\u2019t \u201cclicking\u201d and building some rapport after a few sessions. I know that I\u2019m not going to be the right fit for everyone, and I would much rather a client get their needs met elsewhere than stay with me because they\u2019re worried about hurting my feelings, while not making progress toward their goals. Any therapist with basic ethical standards and skills should have a similar perspective. \n\nGood luck!", "comment": "For context, I returned to seeing a therapist a few weeks ago. We've had 2 sessions, and both have felt extremely uncomfortable. I'm aware that the first sessions aren't particularly the best; in the past 4 years, I've had 2 other therapists. My last therapist was lovely--we parted ways because she moved and I didn't feel I needed more sessions--and I feel like I made a lot of progress with how conversational/interactive and affirming she was. My new therapist is much older and has a different background, and does a sort of sit in silence for a long time and mirror how I'm sitting in hopes that I'll say something. I'd love to ask for more structured sessions if possible, because without the feedback and interaction I feel like I haven't been able to really limit the distress from the initial question she asked and its leaking heavily into my life outside of therapy.   \n\n\nTLDR: Am I allowed to ask for a different approach in sessions? I'm hesitant to find another therapist as it took me almost three weeks to find someone with the same availability and insurance as me, and even then she was the only one I could find.", "post_id": "c4xc9e"}, {"question": "That's a stammer, not tourettes.", "comment": "This might not be the right place for this, and if so, sorry!\n\nSo, first off, I am fifteen, a few months away from sixteen, around 5' 10\", around 135 lbs, male, and American. I have Axen-Feld Reigers syndrome (sp?), consisting of hydrocephalus, glaucoma, and mitral valve prolapse. I take Losartan, along with a shit ton of eye drops.\n\nSo, for at least the last two or so years, I've noticed something about when I talk sometimes. I'll be speaking perfectly clearly, but I'll get randomly stuck on a word, like this.\n\n\"So, when are we go- So when are we go- So when are we going to the store?\"\n\nThere's no warning on when it'll happen, and when it happens, I can't break the loop unless I really concentrate and speak really slowly, practically sounding out each word.This can happen at any time, usually several times a day. And, when that happens, I can repeat myself anywhere from 2-5 times. When it gets to about five, I give up and say something like, \"Ugh, I wish I could talk right now,\" and then I try again, really *really* concentrating hard.\n\nNow, I know for sure it's not the swearing kind of Tourette's, but part of that is because my family is super strict about swearing, and I'm at a point where I don't even swear away, in school, because I'm afraid that I'll let something slip at home. Hell, I've never actually said anything worse than, \"Oh crap!\", and that was when I almost had a burning tree fall on me.\n\nAlso, I just looked up the symptoms, and something else kind of matches too. I often do repetitive movements for *very* long times, like Penn clicking, clapping, tapping my foot, and bouncing my knee. But, I'm not sure if this is actually related, or if I'm just over thinking it.\n\nSo, what do you all think? Is it Tourette's? Is it some kind of speech impediment? Is it nothing at all?", "post_id": "6lc4hg"}, {"question": "If you don't want her to get the wrong idea about you wanting it to be platonic, hang out with her with either your girlfriend present and/or in larger groups of friends/event/party type atmosphere.  ", "comment": "I am trying to make more friends this semester as I spent my freshman year pretty isolated with high school buddies and close friends of my girlfriend. There's a girl in one of my classes who is really sweet and I think we would be good friends. She's in my girlfriend's sorority, but they barely know each other (which is part of the reason I want to get to know her better, because I am only friends with my girlfriends best friends and not others, I want to expand my social circle). What are some ideas to hang out plantonically? I don't want it to seem like I am asking her out because I am not, I just want to get to know her better as a person. all ideas appreciated", "post_id": "9khvx3"}, {"question": "She is elderly and has serious chronic health issues. It's sad but not terribly surprising that she doesn't feel good.\n\nThe specifics are not my area of expertise, but unless she has vitamin deficiencies there's no evidence that vitamin supplements improve health or energy and some limited population evidence that they can be harmful (although that's looking in the general population, not specific older and sicker groups). Probably the best thing is what exercise she can tolerate\u2014but that might be almost zero. In which case, again, probably with speaking to her doctors about reducing symptoms and improving quality of life. A palliative specialist may be helpful. They're not just for end of life and might have something to contribute.\n\nCOPD and CHF are not easy conditions to manage or live with.", "comment": "**\\[F\\]\\[109lbs and 5ft 3in\\]\\[89yrs old\\]\\[nonsmoker\\]** These are my mother's stats, I am asking a question about her. She has *stage 4 COPD* \\(since 12\\-16\\) and *heart failure* \\(1\\-14\\). She also has a pacemaker. However, she just got a very good report from her cardiologist \\(3\\-18\\). And she uses Brovana and Pulmicort in her nebulizer twice a day, and Albuterol about 2 or 3 times a day. She does take Warfarin, alternating 1 pill and then 2 pills with the days of the week. She takes medicine that I don't know the names for for her thyroid, blood pressure, and one called isosorbide \\(sp??\\) that I can't remember what it's for, I think it helps her pulmonary valves, and a baby asprin. I can't remember what else, but it's not much. She lives in the deep Southeastern U.S. In very early 2000, she had surgery to repai*r one leaking heart valve and replace an*other.\n\nShe takes naps during the day, and gets anywhere from 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night. But. The **problem is that she says she feels really bad some days, and just has no energy at all.** This has been going on for almost a year. Now with her conditions, I can see how that might be a problem sometimes.\n\nBut she says it happens a great deal of the time. She doesn't have the greatest diet \\-\\- can't eat a lot of vegetables because of the **vitamin K clashing with the Warfarin**. Don't you think some vitamins might make her feel a little better? Give her a little more energy? I know a multivitamin isn't a good idea \\-\\- it might have vitamin K or something else to work against the blood thinner.\n\nBut I would think **vitamin D and B complex \\-\\- or maybe B12 shots** \\-\\- would really help with the fatigue and lack of energy, while C would help keep her immune system boosted, but none of the doctors I've talked to pay any attention to me so far. What do you think? **Or do you have any other ideas to boost energy and help her to feel better?** She can't exercise, so that's out. I'm worried about her; I hate to see her feeling so down.\n\nI would *really, really appreciate* some helpful feedback on this.", "post_id": "8b0f3q"}, {"question": "https://www.musictherapy.org/", "comment": "I came across it and was wondering what it was exactly? Is there singing involved? Does the therapist play the piano or just use youtube? How are songs selected and how much is arbitrary?", "post_id": "gtgbeo"}, {"question": "This has fucked with my marriage and my chance of survival (suicide) far more than it has fucked with my academics.", "comment": "TL;DR: what do you wish people knew about ADHD? Happy mental health awareness month!\n\nFor me, a couple things:\n*ADHD meds aren\u2019t more dangerous than any other psychoactive drugs and the stigma around is damaging.\n\n*Impulsivity and poor emotional regulation are part of the symptoms.\n\n*It sucks not to be diagnosed as a child, especially as a girl, they get misdiagnosed all the time with depression or mood disorders.", "post_id": "bmblvt"}, {"question": "Personally, I think you should reset it. The question you have to answer is: What negative things about fapping make me want to quit it, and does porn contribute to those negative things too? \n\nAlso, go research the effects that watching porn has - it drops your relationship satisfaction down, your own bodily self-esteem down, etc..", "comment": "So today I couldn\u2019t hold myself and watch porn for about 20 minutes but didn\u2019t fap. I don\u2019t feel that bad really. But now I don\u2019t know if to reset my counter!! \ud83d\ude28 can someone help me please?", "post_id": "bpfu03"}, {"question": "Snake bites hurt. You would not miss it. There\u2019s no point in checking any more than you would check to see if someone stabbed you while you were out walking in a city.\n\nTherapy can help with intrusive thoughts and anxiety like that as well, but hopefully this is one particular worry you can be reassured against.", "comment": "Age: 21\n\nGender: Female\n\nCountry: Philippines\n\nOther Diagnosis: OCD,  taking lexapro\n\nI was walking in my backyard at night with my dog when a sudden thought occurred to me that what if i got bitten by a snack. I didnt feel intense pain or anything, just mosquito bites and the ants that were biting my feet. I was also walking with a flashlight to check what i am walking on but still the thoughts persist.\n\nIve been checking my feet and scratching them to see any bite marks but all that i do is making wounds on my feet myself.\n\nHow do u check if u have a snake bite, and should i go to the er even when i dont feel anything weird (just my anxiety) or have no puncture wounds at all?\n\nThis is not an emergency.  I am just drowning with a lot of anxiety and intrusive thoughts,  and just need to know about snake bites.", "post_id": "i1tzoi"}, {"question": "I'm not sure exactly what you mean by burned out here, but it sounds like you are describing adrenal fatigue. That is not a real diagnosis; it comes from the pseudo-medical world, primarily naturopathy, and has no specific signs, symptoms, tests, or treatment.\n\nWhat you describe could very well be bipolar depression, and lithium is one of the first-line treatments. The dose you are on may be low, but it's something to track carefully, which is the reason for all of those tests.", "comment": "Male, 27,  1m70, 76 kilograms.\nburn-out due pushing through depression and keep working/doing things.\n\nDiagnosed bipolar, when burn-out started. Have been struggling for years before diagnosis.\n\nIm one month on lithium now. (600mg). Mood is stabilised but Im very burned out. Recovery is very slow. They check my blood frequently.\n\nProblems with eyes and ears (overstimulation)\n\nTyping this is message is difficult. Sorry for not adding more info. I will also ask my doc but I want to hear second opinions please.", "post_id": "c3ah3c"}, {"question": "I just usually deep dive on reddit. I read about my hobbies (cycling) watch YouTube videos and get ready for the morning. IWNDWYT ", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "acov4m"}, {"question": "I think it's still illegal in a lot of states to counsel someone outside the state. ", "comment": "I have a pretty comprehensive list of the startups doing this and have been curious about trying one of the sites that appears to be offering a high quality service, but I don't know if it's OK to post a bunch of websites here and I'd also rather just hear people's experiences. I'm considering one out of New York (state lines aren't an issue?) just because of how comprehensive their sign up/survey process is. I almost went through with it.\n\nThe only one I've used (if it even counts) is Liveperson's Experts. It was a while ago before all these startups were around. I'd seen therapists before for various reasons. The MFT seemed was nice and seemed qualified, but I couldn't get over that I was getting charged by the minute. It just felt so...unsettling to me to see the time counting and know how much I was paying per minute that I'd struggle to see it ever not be an issue for me. I also, for whatever reason, felt the need to record the whole session. I guess I'm a little obsessive about backing stuff up, but she wasn't aware I was doing it. Maybe it wasn't OK with their privacy policy?\n\nMost of the other, newer sites I've seen don't operate like this, but I'm still a little skeptical.", "post_id": "1w6o8w"}, {"question": "you'll just have to talk it out when you get home", "comment": "So redittors, this is my first post on her. Heres the lowdown:\n\nWe've been married six years and seeing each other before that for eight. I've never had a reason to mistrust my wife and she has been extremely loyal and dedicated. \n\nI am currently working abroad (there is a time difference so I was getting up for work when all this went on) and the other night she went with her usual gang of mates... no one to suspect anything with there. So she gets in and missed skype calls me. Which is unusual, so i thought there might be a problem with the kids or something. So I ring back with no answer. A while goes by and I am worried in case she is in trouble.\n\nSo maybe the worst thing I've ever done I check find my iphone (its a shared account before you ask) to make sure she's not at hospital with the kids or something. The weird thing is at four o'clock in the morning her phone is now heading out of town along a main road. I watch it as it goes to a garage and then stops in a village.\n\nIts her new phone and I'm thinking that she's either had it stolen or left it in the taxi. So I ring the house phone and my daughter answers who says she's not there. This is now five in the morning. Now im mega concerned for her safety and generally what is going on. So I try ringing her and whatsapping her. To no response.\n\nI have to go and do some work so I keep an eye on it, but to be honest I was thinking of calling the police as i didn't know what had happened to her. \n\nThen at 0810 the phone starts moving again from that location, again follows roads at the right travel speeds and I follow it back to our house. Again I try ringing to see what was happening. I ring the house phone again and my daughter tells me my wife has just got in.\n\nMy wife then wont speak to me for most of the day, I speak to her best mate who says she dropped my wife off in a taxi at our house at three and has no idea what is going on.\n\nWhen I do speak to my wife she says she was at home, my daughter didn't see her as she had passed out in the ensuite and that she was up and about looking for her bank card that she lost as she was so drunk the night before and hadn't come home then.\n\nI've been away for Xmas and to be frank this has been shit. I've asked about it all but she just denies it and says nothing happened and she was at home the whole time. Not even an excuse like going to an after party. I also checked with apple to see if there can be such discrepancies and they have said no there can't be, which I pretty much thought, the way it was moving.\n\nI know looking from the outside it may seem pretty obvious what has happened, or am I jumping to conclusions? The facts show that her phone defo went to that location and stayed for three hours before returning home. And I think my daughter knows how my wife was dressed when she went out. Also if she was as drunk as she and her friends say she was there's no way she'd be getting up at 0830 to look for her bank card.\n\nI don't want to throw away 8 years and our family, but I really think something has happened. I'm back home in a few days and want to sort this out so it doesn't linger over us but she is just denying everything. Thoughts please guys and girls?", "post_id": "5kfk6u"}, {"question": "r/raisedbynarcissists is a good resource too, in case you haven't found it yet", "comment": "Hey everyone.\nI grew up in abuse and one of the things that really fucked me up was the gaslight and manipulation. I'm in a constant fog of fear and confusion, and never really sure if something is real or Im making it up, which have both kept me in abusive scenarios and made me leave good ones. I cant tell safe people from dangerous people.\n\nIm interested in if anyone else here grew up with the same - and if you got therapy, what kind will help?", "post_id": "891vlk"}, {"question": "What country are you in?  If it's the U.S., look on the back of your health insurance card (if you have insurance) and you can usually find provider info on your insurance company's website or there will be a number to call for mental health.  \n\nAlso.... not sure what you mean by \"a regular psych hospital\" but still want to go to an inpatient facility.  Can you explain a little?\n\n-The Web Shrink", "comment": "Afraid to self commit to regular psych hospital but need help for a month or two. Can pay for facility. Anyone know how to find one?\nI\u2019m female autistic adult. ", "post_id": "7xtbcy"}, {"question": "This is common confusion about ionizing radiation and radioactivity.\n\nX-rays are a form of ionizing radiation, which means they can cause damage, particularly to DNA, but they do not make other materials radioactive. At medical imaging doses, the dose is so low that the risk is minimal.\n\nRadioactive materials or radiation sources produce ionizing radiation by nuclear decay. The danger of such materials is if they become widespread, as in nuclear weapons or meltdowns. They don\u2019t induce radioactivity in other materials either.\n\nWhich is all a long-winded way of saying being X-rayed, or even irradiated by beams as part of radiation therapy (cancer treatment, for example) does not make anyone or anything dangerous.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fe682x"}, {"question": "Yes. Often , a parent can be brought into the session at the beginning or end,  but therapy needs to be a safe place where the child does not have to worry about the reactions of adults . Even excellent parents have reactions,  and kids pick up on that easily. \n\nWhat , specifically,  are your concerns?", "comment": "Is it normal for a therapist to be alone with a 6 year old?", "post_id": "ffxgtb"}, {"question": "I'm saving this because I need to remind myself I need to do this ", "comment": "From my experiences with C-PTSD, wanted to share here.\n\nWhen we receive a shame message that is too painful to experience, our bodies and minds often come up with ways to **numb or distract us**. The problem is, these makeshift solutions don't fix the inner problem. They actually exacerbate the sense of defectiveness and separation from others.\n\nEmptiness is a common numbing agent, as is boredom. These things convince you to **do something** to relieve the numbness (like change your job, modify your hair, get a tattoo, drive recklessly, binge drink, binge eat, go on a shopping spree, change your relationship, etc - for me it was all about accomplishing stuff). The distractor convinces you that once you do it, you'll feel all better. And maybe you do... for an hour. \n\nBasically, these things ensure that you stay endlessly distracted and search **externally** for solutions to an **internal** issues. \n\nGrandiosity and fantasizing are another part of this. As long as we have these huge ideas of a perfect relationship to save us and cure us, we're 100% distracted from our own inner experience. We're just living in this puffed-up false self that is constantly **hungering for external attention or sympathy to prove its own existence**. \n\nWhen I decided to stop listening to this \"distractor\" in myself, everything shifted. It wasn't easy at first. It fought and threw every trick in the book at me to stay in control - like a demon realizing it had been caught. But I just kept politely declining it and saying: \"I don't need to **do anything** to feel loved\".\n\nI noticed this distractor came up especially during emotional triggers - being ignored was a big one for me. So instead of desperately trying to distract myself whenever those things came up, I just decided to stay with the feeling. And it was horrible. Like incredibly unpleasant, disgusting, painful - this **sense of defectiveness**, of being unwanted and rejectable and inadequate.\n\nNo wonder my body and mind were trying to numb that out! \n\nBut I just stayed with it, over and over again, offering it comfort and love (the same way I would to a wounded animal). With time, that old false self completely crumbled. It gave up. There was no more grandiosity or fantasy land. No more terrible decisions. No more obsessions. \n\nInstead I started identifying as the person nurturing that wound (also me). \n\nIt was like I'd been knocked down a peg and inhabited my true self - my real identity. **It didn't feel good at all.** It wasn't some sort of beautiful reunion. My true self was damaged, weak, insecure, and afraid. I was depressed and suffered from insomnia. Without my distractions, everything started to slow down significantly. \n\nSlowing down means leaving behind the old protective tricks. *Not* trying to prove we're fine and beautiful and successful. *Not* trying to morph ourselves into a perfect mirror image partner so someone else will love us and never abandon us. *Not* trying to fill the void with grandiose fantasies, being rescued / saved by a perfect partner, or seeking sympathy for our tragic victim narrative. \n\nWith personality disorders, I often see mindfulness / meditation approached in a way like \"I'm thinking of kittens and rainbows, healing and processing my past, loving my inner child, it's all so beautiful, I'm crying!\" But then this horrible feeling starts creeping in and the sufferer thinks: \"WTF I was doing mindfulness, why am I feeling WORSE.\" \n\nBecause what's inside is NOT kittens and rainbows. It's this disgusting, unbearable sense of being bad. **The feeling you experience when someone rejects you or leaves you or starts ignoring your texts**. THAT feeling is what you need to non-judgmentally experience in mindfulness. It's a lie someone else put in there a long time ago, because they hated themselves, not because there was something wrong with you.\n\nI believe all the neurosis from C-PTSD based issues come from trying to **avoid** that feeling, rather than stay with it. \n\nDaily mindfulness practice can help the sufferer identify \"this is real but not true\". And as you build a loving relationship with your self (not just the \"good\" feelings, but the bad ones too), the body will feel safe expressing its worst fear to you, so it can finally be resolved. ", "post_id": "65jjim"}, {"question": "Try nizoral shampoo. Ketoconazole (topical. don't take oral ketoconazole!) is an anti-androgen. ", "comment": "[So frustrating.](http://imgur.com/8my3dw0) My testosterone is high, Im losing hair where I dont want to and gaining even more elsewhere not wanted. Trying to get pregnant - so no birth control or spironolactone. So frustrated. ", "post_id": "459vn2"}, {"question": "I think so. And I do", "comment": "Is she good? Do you recommend her to your Patients?", "post_id": "bq9704"}, {"question": "You've talked about some major red flags. Run and run now. You're young and haven't invested too much time into this \"boy.\" He sounds emotionally abusive and I imagine it'll only get worse. Why waste more time on someone who makes you miserable. I've known my husband since I was 13 years old and I'm 26 now. We've been best friends the entire time (but only married 2 years) and know how many times he's made me miserable? Zero. We disagree, sure. But he is respectful 100% of the time. That's what love is. Respect and kindness. Please know that if you move on and have high standards for what you'll accept from others that you will find someone MUCH better. You don't want to regret wasting YEARS with this guy. Or have him end up being your ex-husband or shitty father to your children. Let him go on, mature and figure out how he should treat females (or at least let him make others miserable until they learn the same lesson you are). I was with 2 boyfriends in the past that were similar to yours. Was with one for 3 years and the other for 7 years. It was painful and sucked. I learned good life lessons but I wish I had learned them quicker and didn't have to do all the repair from the damage I allowed them to cause.  Life's too short, man. ", "comment": "I found his reddit recently and when I did I saw that one of his most recent posts was of his ex. I brought it up and he claimed that he just thought people would like the picture and that's why he posted it but I have a major problem with it. This happened a few weeks ago and it's all I can think about ever since and it's ruining everything for me. What makes it worse is that she lives close to him and I live over 2,000 miles away and he's told me that she wants him and if he wanted he could be with her which made me feel even worse. Also, the picture posted was from quite a long time ago off of facebook which would mean that he would have had to have been looking through the profile. He claims that a friend of his commented on it and it popped up in the news feed but I checked and the most recent comment was from months ago. When I asked him to delete it and told him how much it hurt me he refused. Oh and then he posted a captioned picture of me from over a year ago that wasn't as popular and he told me it was because I \"looked like a slut\" and guys don't like that and that she looked classier. I've talked to him several times about it but I always end up feeling worse when I do. I've been with my boyfriend for eleven months and I don't know what to do about this. Any and all support will be much appreciated.", "post_id": "2n1s0t"}, {"question": "Not shure Reddit is a safe place for this kind of question. I suppose Nothern Europe is an option.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "b1xn9j"}, {"question": "In 1873 there was published a book on rehabilitating traumatized horses, Tachy Hippodamia, by Willis Powell. In it he describes how a horse might be sensitized through trauma to the point where it cannot tolerate the approach of a human. In the book he advocates a procedure of gradual and incremental desensitization. I suggest that your condition is one that can be corrected via the same process. Exposure must be increased very gradually so that repeated exposures at each increase in intensity are comfortable. This approach can be combined with hypnosis or breathing meditation or yoga. The main thing is that you must take ownership of the process and consider it taming yourself. Read the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita for inspiration. What you are experiencing is the human condition we are the animals that understand that we are going to grow old fall sick and die.  What you are experiencing happens to everyone at some time in their life but we call it different things. Mahatma Ghandi lived by the second chapter of the Gita and he said it gave him courage.", "comment": "Please no vague, low effort or snarky answers like 'get a job'. I would like to see more detailed and helpful advice for users of the sub and anyone who is in a dark place and seeking help. Many SA sufferers are of a logical and rigid mindset and like to have a plan or a roadmap to tackle the challenges they face. Modern society however can be a very daunting place for us as it is chaotic and unpredictable. Finding work especially can be made very difficult by SA, especially if you are long-term unemployed and isolated to begin with. \n\nIf anyone here has a past experience of  employing a practical plan to improve their condition and it working for them please share it. I really could entail anything. What might be helpful is to explain it like accepting a quest in a video game and providing a walk-through all the way to completion. That would be great ;)  \n\nExtra: I know this question overlaps with /u/amazonri's question somewhat but please don't worry about it. Share your action plan here in a clear, organised way ready for others to follow if they wish.      ", "post_id": "7go1dh"}, {"question": "did the progesterone increase your appetite? or change your appetite at all?", "comment": "So I was just diagnosed and my gyn has started me on progesterone at 200mg for two weeks to trigger a period since I haven't really had one for about 6 months. Does anyone have experience with this, how long did it take for your period to begin? ", "post_id": "3wj1vm"}, {"question": "I've felt this way in my own therapy. It is weird... like you are talking but it is somehow about someone else's life. Sometimes I think depression is functional and shields us from connecting more deeply with our pain. If it is happening to someone else, it isn't so painful...", "comment": "Still processing. Right now it's kind of like it happened to someone else. Feeling mostly embarrased, and like a pathetic, whiny asshole. Not at all how I was expecting to feel afterwards. Anyone want to weigh in? Tell me how awful their first session was so I can stop feeling like this? ", "post_id": "1vv4ld"}, {"question": "Wow, count your blessings!  Day 3 was fucking miserable for me.  I'm thrilled to hear that you're staying active and doing well.  My one piece of unsolicited advice would be to bear in mind that sobriety is not always going to feel as good as it does right now; the pitfalls of life are still there and you're still going to hit them.  Be grateful for your good feelings now and hang in there when it gets rocky.  Remember that there's nothing in life that drinking can't make worse!", "comment": "Wow, my second day of work without being hung over, this is awesome. My first sober night I managed to have pizza with out beer which was a little hard. But I've been drinking a lot of seltzer water to replace the carbonated sensation(I don't drink soda). I have been biking a lot to keep busy, 8 miles last night, 5 the night before that. The only real issue I've had is not falling asleep, but staying asleep. I took melatonin and probably woke up like 10 times last night with reoccurring dreams. Overall though, this has been easier than I thought. Thank you /stopdrinking, finding this sub gave me a kick in the ass.", "post_id": "223gvi"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve seen a lot of posts like this and it makes me grateful that those comments don\u2019t get to me. I think it\u2019s because I\u2019ve changed my perspective on my adhd from a negative to a positive. \n\nThe way it was presented to me as a kid (now to be clear parents lied and didn\u2019t tell me I had adhd/didn\u2019t believe in it until I was about 22), was that I thought different from other people. That whole most people\u2019s brains connect in straight lines, mine connects in zig zags, and I internalized that as being special. \n\nNow my symptoms were hell growing up bc again, I didn\u2019t know what they were and it was treated  as a personal failure (high IQ= if I had really tried the result would have been better). And then I almost felt like I was cheating when I got on medication at 22 because I felt like the meds gave me an advantage (not realizing it just leveled the playing field).  But I still felt like the non-attentional/impulsive/hyperactive aspects of adhd made me somehow MORE than my peers because my brain worked differently than there\u2019s did (problem solving, creativity, etc).  \n\nFor me it\u2019s like.... okay so I suffer from migraines, but I don\u2019t tell people who just have regular headaches that they\u2019re lucky/I have a legit medical issue/they calling their headache a migraine makes a mockery of my experience. They\u2019re difficulty paying attention or whatever is a speed bump versus my mountain, but they still have a hard time dealing with their speed bump. \n\nI don\u2019t know, that\u2019s just how I stay sane in this world of \u201cif you really tried you could do it.\u201d  ", "comment": "So many people do this all the time and it makes me so mad.\n\nIt just makes me kind of feel that no one really thinks it\u2019s a big deal, and makes me feel stupid for sometimes trying to explain that ADHD is the reason things I sometimes can\u2019t get my work done or am late to things, ect.\n\nIt seems that since people without ADHD always tend to attribute something like not being able to pay attention in a boring lecture to \u201chaving a little bit of ADHD\u201d it completely delegitimizes the disorder as a whole because apparently \u201ceveryone has a little ADHD\u201d \n\nAnd if i try to explain it to someone they tend to think that im just making excuses for being lazy because they think they already know everything about ADHD or something. \n\nTL:DR\n\nPeople tend to say things like \u201ci think we all have a little ADHD\u201d and it really pisses me off and it seems to make those who really have it look stupid and lazy.", "post_id": "84lj4b"}, {"question": "Talk to a counselor, not a doctor. A counselor is going to have a lot of training to help you feel at ease with them -- especially one that specializes in Asperger's.", "comment": "Hello there. I'd like to be properly diagnosed, not quite sure what it is, Asperger's would explain a lot, so would certain personality disorders, can't tell for sure what it may be.\n\nThe problem is: I hate talking to doctors. Always have. At least dentists don't expect you to talk when they're poking your gums, but other kinds of medical personnel are something I can't deal with very well.\n\nAny idea how to overcome this problem? 'Cause I don't think a psychiatrist would be of any help when I'm not in a condition to cooperate.", "post_id": "1dr9co"}, {"question": "So, \"criterion A\" for a diagnosis of PTSD in the DSM is pretty strict: either direct or indirect exposure to death or threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence. (Note that this does not mean you don't meet diagnostic criteria for anything; I am not willing or able to diagnose via internet post. This is not a diagnosis or medical/psychological advice.)\n\nHowever, that does not mean that this incident did not affect you; it definitely sounds like it did, and it sounds like you could use some help, especially given the duration of these symptoms. Are you open to calling a therapist and scheduling a first appointment?", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fe4ki9"}, {"question": "Do these experiences come on suddenly? It's bordering on urgent assessment.", "comment": "I just got home from work tonight and my mom has been in a state of amnesia. When I asked, she said she didn't hit her head or take any medication. She mentioned a few times how she was confused because she was napping and she claims to have dreamt things she actually did in real life (e.g. buy kiwis and gum). She couldn't tell me what month it was. To say this is unsettling is truly an understatement. I've never seen any worrying signs of memory loss in her. She seemed completely fine when I left for work. I'm really worried. Obviously she will see a doctor ASAP. I pray to God she wakes up okay. This night has changed my life forever. Like most of you, I love my mom more than anything in the world and this is a deeply humbling experience. I urge you all to express your love to your fullest capabilities. Every day is truly a priceless gift we must stop taking for granted. Any prayers and/or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you. ", "post_id": "5foz41"}, {"question": "It's possible to overdose on some vitamins, but for water soluble ones like B12 and magnesium it's difficult enough to be impractical. However, for most people, there's also no clear benefit to taking vitamins. The research isn't strong, but there's a correlation between vitamin supplements and worse health outcomes.\n\nMy sense is that unless you're taking vitamins for something specifically they're not worth the money. They aren't just generically good for you, and even an ostensibly lousy American diet usually doesn't produce actual nutritional deficiencies.", "comment": "Age: 22\nSex: Female\nHeight: 5\u20193\u201d\nWeight: 126 lbs\nRace: Caucasian\nDuration of Complaint: N/A\nLocation: Michigan\nRelevant Medical Issues: poor diet\nCurrent Medications: Mono-Linyah birth control and Lexapro 20mg\n\n\nI\u2019ve never been a healthy eater per se, mainly due to my anxiety and depression so I\u2019ve started taking regular vitamins. Right now I take 60mg of iron, 65mg of ginkgo biloba and 500 mg of niacin (due to higher than normal cholesterol). I want to start taking Vitamin B12 and magnesium as well, but I\u2019m just curious, can I be taking too many vitamins/supplements? I don\u2019t want to accidentally cause harm to my body.\n\nThank you.", "post_id": "bdwps3"}, {"question": "Go slow. Be patient. Let her be in control of how this evolves.", "comment": "I may post this in r/sex if that is more helpful, but this is still a relationship question. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. She's intelligent, has a great sense of humor, and always puts others before herself. We instantly clicked but on our first date I remembered her telling me she moves very slowly in relationships. After three dates we were officially dating, but she asked to keep it off Facebook. It took another two dates until we even kissed, and two weeks after that to start fooling around (nakedness but not actual sex).\n\nAfter four months we still hadn't slept together, she always got tense when I moved things intimately. I asked her why and she'd just shrug it off, so I backed off. Eventually she admitted while she had fooled around with a past boyfriend, she was a virgin. I insisted it wasn't a big deal, and two months later we finally had sex.\n\nShe doesn't usually initiate, but always seems eager when we sleep together. She's come a long way, makes sure she does things that I like, but I recently realized she gets very uncomfortable whenever I focus on her. I thought maybe she was insecure about how she looked, but she'll have sex with the lights on and has never complained about her body before.\n\nLong story short, I started foreplay when she was over last night and she was in to it until I started paying her too much attention. Like I pulled her hands away from touching me to go down on her (she's never let me do that). She got really tense and asked me to stop. I of course backed off and asked her if she was okay, she said yes but to not do that, and I asked her why. When she started to shrug it off I was more firm and said I wanted to know why she won't let me focus just on her.\n\nShe burst in to tears and I felt like a complete jackass. I didn't yell or anything, and she's never cried before. She told me that her ex was her first sexual partner (as in being sexual, they never had sex) but he made her feel awful about sex. When she said she was a virgin it was like a huge fetish and all he cared about was taking her virginity. She said he'd get her drunk, feel her up in public, initiate when she said no and wouldn't stop until she physically got him off of her. My girlfriend said sex was always a one-way thing that wouldn't end until he got off no matter what. He made her pleasure some kind of bargaining chip like \"if I made you feel good now you HAVE to get me off.\"\n\nMy girlfriend said all she thought about while having sex was making sure I was happy. Like her end goal was never to feel good herself, it was to get me off so our relationship didn't end up like that. She started going on and on about how she knows sex for guys is the most important part of dating and was afraid if I tried to get her to orgasm (which she never has because she stops me) I'd use it against her.\n\nHonestly I had NO idea she thought of sex like that. I finally got her to calm down and said this was a discussion we should have after she slept on it. I don't know what to do. Basically my girlfriend thinks sex is just to satisfy me and I'd somehow use her getting off as an excuse to escalate to things she might not want to do. I feel so bad because she's the sweetest girl I've ever met and for some douche to use her inexperience against her like that... ugh.\n\nI just don't know how to talk to her about it. We're meeting up tomorrow night. Do I take a break from sex with her and say only when she's ready we'll start up again? She feels like somehow she's broken and she isn't, she just dated a douche and tried hard to seem like the perfect girlfriend.\n\n**tl;dr:** Girlfriend of 8 months and I started having sex 2 months ago. She admitted the reason she won't let me focus on her pleasure is because her ex made sex all about him and used her feeling good as an excuse to escalate his own needs. Not sure what to do.", "post_id": "6u73kc"}, {"question": "Seems like the distance gave you pause for reflection, and it seems you've moved on.", "comment": "Hi all, I really hate to do this, but I really need some advice right now and most of my friends are equally as close with my girlfriend as they are with me.\n\nTo begin, my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for nearly 5 years now, on and off. Every time we've taken a break, I've been the one to initiate it. We met in high school, dated throughout college, and moved in together right after graduation to Oregon.\n\nLiving together was great. In a lot of ways we balanced each other out, I'm very sporadic, she's very organized. We would hang out most weekdays and weekends, smoking weed, maybe drinking a couple of beers watching tv or whatever. Sometimes we'd go out, do stuff outdoors, etc.  It was comfortable, but somewhat boring. I found myself constantly daydreaming about moving abroad, doing something crazy, whatever.\n\nFast forward a year and a half and my dad dies very suddenly. Him and I were super close, talking a couple of times a week, making each other crack up, etc. Obviously, I was quite shaken up and probably will be for years to come. After all the ceremonies, a couple of weeks with my mom and brother, I moved back in with my girlfriend.\n\nAt this point, things were going just about as well as possible after the loss of a close love one. My girlfriend was very supportive as was my manager. Things kind of went back to normal, when out of nowhere the company I was working had to do massive layoffs. I knew exactly what was coming when my manager called me in to let me go.\n\nGetting let go sucked, but I tried to see the positive in the situation by letting myself relax for a bit. While my girlfriend went to work, I sat at home, played video games and smoked weed. It was nice, but after about a week and a half I was incredibly bored. I started looking for jobs and realized how little I wanted to commit living in the city that I was in. On a whim, I applied to an internship abroad and got a couple of days later.\n\nI moved using money from my dad's life insurance and that's where I am now. I'm happier than ever, but in a lot of ways more confused than ever. I realized after about a month of living here that I don't miss my girlfriend at all. I know she misses me because she consistently skypes me crying and messages me talking about how she needs me home, etc. I feel terrible about it. She's a great person, I love her, honestly but I barely think about her. I know it sounds horrible, but I've been having so much fun, feeling closer to myself than ever. Interacting with her feels more like a burden than something to look forward to.\n\nI have a month left in the program, but feel like I need to live here full time once I figure out my visa stuff. I can't imagine moving back home with her, not because it is bad or anything, just because it sounds so boring. I don't know what to do about this and I need your advice. Please let me know if you have any questions and thanks in advance.", "post_id": "67isw8"}, {"question": "19 now. Got sober at the age of 17.", "comment": "I've noticed in the last few weeks a surge of younger folks joining us which is awesome!! Since a common shared concern is that \"I'm to young for this!\" I thought we should do an age roll call, perhaps putting you in touch with others that share your struggles and your age will be of some comfort for what is ahead of you. I don't care who PM's me but if you would rather talk to someone who isn't old enough to be your mom, now you know who fits the bill!\n\nI'll start, 38 next week.", "post_id": "2c6w4f"}, {"question": "[I just posted about something very similar in another sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/7b56jl/i_lose_control_when_i_feel_physically/)", "comment": "ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY", "post_id": "7b5kig"}, {"question": "I want to strive for a more relaxed and real lifestyle and feel it's difficult for me to be that way when she's really perfectionistic and likes to tidy up and gets all stressed up about it.**if you are very different in this regard, and can't find common ground, then you just have to accept that your 'ways' are going to be different. often couples like this have separate spaces in their house they can call their own**\nHer general knowledge is limited and she's insecure about it and often complains she feels dumb and even has a belief that she's unable to understand math. Also because she doesn't have a university degree she feels inferior unfortunately.**it's up to her to decide how educated she wants to be. you can help if she wants but ultimately she has to own it**\nShe doesn't understand playful sarcasm or my jokes most of the time which limits flow in our conversations (this frustration stings so bad).**doesn't sound like someone you can joke with. sarcasm imo is a bad trait with no upside**\nShe doesn't have the same interests as me and isn't interested in finding new hobbies or interests. I've tried introducing her to meditation, yoga and even video games. She loses interest so quickly.\nHer only down time interests at home is watching drama series (not the western kind) and \"howto\"-makeup videos. She's not interested in keeping on par with what's going on with the internet or the world and relies on me to understand new words, slang, events, viral jokes etc.**if you have zero shared interests, it's pretty hard to make it as a couple. again, she has to decide  if she wants to be more enaged and self-actualized in life.  and you have to decide if she's boring or not stimulating enough to sustain a life together**", "comment": "Since we met i felt doubt, i wanna strive for a rich life with meditation, yoga, finding your true self etc. I was interested in researching psychedelics, consciousness and similar things. She on the other hand had a very protected upbringing, only child in her family and pretty scared of new things. She's interested in exploring life but not at all the way i want to do it.\n\nSomething in me really wants to stay with her, she's really trustworthy, caring and intelligent. But there are minor things that add up and frustrates me. \n\n* I want to strive for a more relaxed and real lifestyle and feel it's difficult for me to be that way when she's really perfectionistic and likes to tidy up and gets all stressed up about it.\n\n* Her general knowledge is limited and she's insecure about it and often complains she feels dumb and even has a belief that she's unable to understand math. Also because she doesn't have a university degree she feels inferior unfortunately.\n\n* She doesn't understand playful sarcasm or my jokes most of the time which limits flow in our conversations (this frustration stings so bad).\n\n* She doesn't have the same interests as me and isn't interested in finding new hobbies or interests. I've tried introducing her to meditation, yoga and even video games. She loses interest so quickly.\n\n* Her only down time interests at home is watching drama series (not the western kind) and \"howto\"-makeup videos. She's not interested in keeping on par with what's going on with the internet or the world and relies on me to understand new words, slang, events, viral jokes etc.\n\nI'm not sure what to do, i feel so alone sometimes and i have this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach as if i want to express something that i'm unable to with her. We've tried going to couples counselling. I was advised to not critique and she was advised to try to let her guard down toward life.\n\nWe have been together for 5 years. I want a future with her but i feel so incredibly hopeless and depressed when these things happen. Something in me really wants to stay with her but another part of me has a longing of exploring something else, something that's maybe better. This doubt really exhaust and depresses me.\n\nCan anyone relate? How did you handle your doubt or situation?\n\nI just want to find a constructive and sustainable way out of this intermittent suffering. Because we have our good moments too, it's not all bad. This happens especially when i'm tired, had a bad day or when i'm thinking alot.", "post_id": "5w3rrm"}, {"question": "How do you/we know whos good or bad anyway?\n\n(COI: Naive UK doc)", "comment": "I'm a type 1 diabetic living in Los Angeles so I should have options, right?  But the only good person I've found is at UCLA and that's really far for me.  So I know good ones exist, but many more bad ones.\nWho or what is responsible for such poor quality MDs in this field?\nDoes the endocrinology field attract the least talented for any reason?  \n(I know there are many factors to consider like insurance policies, poor administrators, and the fast evolution of diabetic hardware must be difficult for MD offices to keep up with.)\n\n\n", "post_id": "5z6g5f"}, {"question": "you have to either accept the time she has, or move on. if it were me, i'd stay with 'amazing'. amazing is hard to find!", "comment": "So me [17, M] and my girlfriend [16,F] have been dating for about 2 and a half months. In that time we have had more than like 5 arguments, big ones. I don't know what to do anymore. The main issue is time. She doesn't have time alot because she always is so involved. In a week i get to see her like 2 or 3 times and honestly that is not enough for me. But i feel bad everytime i mention it because she says she doesn't know what to do. She has to skip or make excuses to her activities to see me and everytime she does this it makes me sad. I hate that she has to make excuses to spend time with me, her boyfriend. All of our issues basically are because of time. But i also thought maybe i'm too needy. My friend told me that for the first 5 months he dated his girl, they met almost everyday. I never felt so much envy and jealousy. Am in the wrong for wanting to see her more? I know she's busy because she has school, activities and volunteering but i hate that our relationship has become sort of like a schedule where we have a set amount of times we meet a week. I wish our relationship could be one where we meet whenever we want. Do you have any advice for me? I am so unhappy these days and i'm thinking whether it's worth dating her. I do love her but at the same time it's hard to be with her. I am going to college this fall and i am not sure if this is a relationship i want to continue in college. The girl herself is amazing and i love her alot but this relationship isn't going too well and i don't know what to do. Can you please help me with this because if i can i want this relationship to work.", "post_id": "66jh3w"}, {"question": "Depends on the medication.  Antidepressants might help curb the desire to escape the depression through gambling.  The \"rush\" is a different experience though, and mood stabilizers like lithium or other meds often prescribed for bipolar symptoms might help curb the urges/cravings, especially if one is feeling manic in other ways.\n\nInterestingly, some research demonstrates *Naltrexone* and *N-Acetyl cysteine*(over the counter!) can be helpful in affecting gambling urges. ", "comment": "Would meds stop me from needing that kind of rush? When I have been on meds I haven't gambled anywhere near as much or felt urges to gamble.", "post_id": "1b8f7r"}, {"question": "Plenty responses but as an addiction psychiatrist I should probably say something briefly.\n\n2 choices - either continue drinking at the same level or seek a medically assisted detox. Stopping abruptly is potentially fatal (DTs a few days into sobriety) at the level of consumption youre drinking at.\n\nKeep us updated.", "comment": "Good morning. Before you hit me with rule 4, please know that I've already called 911 and the paramedics left about an hour ago. My vitals were fine, but my symptoms are indeed severe. I'm currently having a drink to abate them so I wouldn't call this an immediate \"emergency.\"\n\nHere are my details: 35 y/o male. 6'2\", 275 lbs. Have smoked since age 12, but my alcohol withdrawal symptoms have been so severe that I haven't smoked this week. No recreational drugs, but I drink a substantial amount. When I say substantial, I mean an absolutely heroic amount of alcohol each day. Between 4-5 pints of Wild Turkey 101 Whiskey. My daily drinking has been going on for around 5 months (between 2-3 pints), but the insane amount that I just mentioned has been going on for 2 weeks.\n\nHere's my problem: I start to go into withdrawal around 3-4 hours after my last drink. Heavy tremors, very profuse sweating, panic and anxiety, restlessness, rapid heart rate and palpitations, hallucinations, and I hear things that aren't there. I've only made it perhaps 45 minutes into the onset of these symptoms before grabbing a glass, and they were so bad that I could scarcely pour or lift it to my mouth to start drinking and get rid of the symptoms.\n\nAs I mentioned, earlier this morning I called 911 due to the symptoms and the paramedics came out. My vitals were fine, though I did have high BP (which I already knew). They asked if I wanted them to take me in. I asked them what I should do since they're medical professionals and they said they couldn't advise me. Even so, one of them said off the record that it's not a good idea to head to the ER under current conditions. As a layman I can understand why. They're quite busy right now. If I were to show up there and hang out in the waiting room with no alcohol my symptoms would either seriously endanger my life within 3-4 hours of cessation as I sit there waiting, or I'd freak people out due my restlessness, hallucinations, and hearing things.\n\nThe paramedics advised me to call my PCP and psychiatrist. Both offices are closed, but I left a message with both of them. My question is: Is there a NON-er place I can go where they can look after me? I get no sleep because the symptoms come on so quickly and I have to get up to drink. I'm not eating and haven't for several days. Can I just show up at like a psychiatric hospital or something? I cannot keep drinking like this. The withdrawal symptoms are just too severe and terrifying.\n\nThank you", "post_id": "fmg62o"}, {"question": "Well done. Weddings can be tricky...between frees bars, toasts etc its not easy. Good work indeed..", "comment": "My friends wedding, and my brother was supposed to give the toast, but he was already drunk by the time of the toast, so I was handed a glass of champagne and asked to take his place. so..... somehow as if in a dream, I saw myself do this, I put the glass down, picked up a glass of water, and toasted, in front of 200 people with a glass of water. It's weird, and Im not bragging, I feel like as if a brick fell off a building and for some reason, I moved to the left, and it missed me. I don't feel proud, just relieved, relieved and lucky. Today is day 5 for me.\n", "post_id": "8koup1"}, {"question": "Therapy. Medications. Finding sources of happiness in your own life so you don't tail off into despair. ", "comment": "In arguments with my husband, I tend to push him away. I rarely feel good enough for him so I try to convince him to move on.  He always fight for me, though, and end up holding me and promising we'll be okay and so will I. It's gotten to the point that he's done bc I won't fight for him the same way he does for me. I want to so bad. I want him to know I do. But I can't show it bc of thoughts. They yell at me that I'm holding him back. \n\nWe've gone a break now so I can find myself again. How do I fight for him? How do I make myself better?", "post_id": "6ar6ha"}, {"question": "This can be \"delayed sleep phase syndrome,\" where your natural sleep cycle is just shifted later than the rest of the world. If you can keep your natural schedule, it's healthy, but there are often a lot of practical barriers to doing so like school and work that expect you to be up in the morning.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "g79az7"}, {"question": "Has any other diagnosis been considered such as emotionally unstable personality disorder?", "comment": "F, 35, white\n\ndepression with psychosis (hearing voices), anxiety\n\nI've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. In and out of the hospital for the last 12 years or so until about 2 years ago. Since then I've managed to stay out. I see a therapist and psychiatrist and have a lot of people who are supposed to help me. In the last few months everyone thinks I am doing so much better, but that is because I have forced myself to put on a happy face and talk more and smile and pretty much fake it. But it's because I've become so paranoid of everyone's intents and don't trust that they are looking out for my best interests. I worry that they are going behind my back and talking about me and plotting against me. I am not normally paranoid.  The only psychotic feature of my depression has been auditory hallucinations, and those haven't gotten any worse.  I am right on the edge between seeing that this is not rational to think this way, but still not being able to get past my beliefs and concerns to actually talk to anyone, so it just gets worse.\n\nI don't trust medications anymore. I have tried so many already, antidepressants and antipsychotics. The ones that helped I couldn't seem to tolerate or eventually stopped working. The ones I could tolerate didn't help. Now I worry that the doctors were really spending the last 20 years trying to poison me with these medications and they are using current circumstances to try to get me back on medications that will hurt me.\n\nI know how crazy this (I) sound(s.) I just don't know what to do about it.\n\nI realize that nobody can help me if I can't tell them what is going on, but how can I tell them what is going on when I secretly think they want to hurt me? \n\nI need to figure this out before I end up cancelling my psychiatrist appointment next week because I think she'll poison me with meds. Or before I cancel my next therapy appointment because she is secretly recording me and playing it for everyone I know to hear. Besides, every time I leave the house for appointments, people come in to my apartment and go through all of my things. (All huge, very real fears of mine right now.)\n\nIs the a chance this is more than just my depression at this point? Could I lose the ability to see that these are irrational fears?\n\nHow do I approach this with my doctor when I feel like she is part of the problem? (Even though I know that the problem is me.)", "post_id": "5jo47m"}, {"question": "are you prepared for a celibate life? most aren't. go to couple therapy. have him talk to his doc about viagra.", "comment": "Hi Im a 35/F and my guy is 36. We have been together about 18 mo and live an hour or so away...we're very much compatable and do an amazing job as a team with regard to everytihng from goals to communication to love.....we just dont have sex. Maybe 5 times total. He doesnt initiate it at all. The few times we have, he's gone soft or I get dry. It just doesnt work and to be honest, I dont even want to try at this point. \n\nWould you guys leave?? Its so frustrating when I bring it up, he says its me (not taking initiative) but dang, last thing I remember is actually feeling wanted by my exes and that lead to sex actually happenning. He is just content to drink (yes, he's over weight and drinks and smokes) and hang out. \n\nI hate it and I want to leave him but I love everything else about us. ", "post_id": "6q60lz"}, {"question": "I was very aware.  I used to think it just had to do with anxiety and lack of motivation.  One of my professor's used to say to me \n\n\n\"You're such an incredible student, but you won't get any work done until you have a gun to your head (referring to hard deadlines without any chance of catching a break).  Then you do great work, but you never give yourself enough time to edit.\"\n\n\nI figured out how to harness it, but it was basically self-medication with a ton of coffee and cigarettes.  Now, I can get in these hyperfocus states when needed fairly easily just by taking my meds.  ", "comment": "I used to be able to feel like I had something, another gear to me. I kept trying to find ways to synthesize it.", "post_id": "at7n8v"}, {"question": "Awesome to see your dedication is greater than you fear of being uncomfortable in New decisions. What a great start to your work towards a better life. Woot!!", "comment": "I'm about 2.5 weeks sober and I made it through a Christmas eve party with a bunch of friends and now I'm almost through a small christmas gathering with my sister and her fiance. I decided to not fly home to be with my immediate and extended family, as I knew the temptations would be greater. It's hardly felt like Christmas but at least I made it through without drinking. \n\nSo glad to be able to check in with you all. Hope everyone else had some success getting through the holidays.", "post_id": "3y8pya"}, {"question": "My rules for alcohol is - it\u2019s a problem when it\u2019s a problem. And how to know if it\u2019s a problem is to see if it is causing problems with your relationships, your job, your health, or your legal status/freedom.  If any of these areas are being negatively impacted because of your drinking, you have a problem. The term \u201calcoholic\u201d is played out. It\u2019s too vague and therefore easy for people to dismiss for anything other than a homeless guy under a bridge. \n\nJust wanted to put in my two cents there on that.", "comment": "I started CBD about a year ago and am now on a 63 day Headspace streak. But this weekend has been the toughest in several months. Any advice on overcoming what seem to be a plateau? I know what set it off. Something small but a constant source of angst for me.", "post_id": "dxs4dp"}, {"question": "[Sleeping well](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/sleepproblems/sleepingwell.aspx)", "comment": "25/male/caucasian/ 6'1\"/157 lbs\n\nlately i've been having insomnia. I sleep on average 4 hours a night. I wake up around 9 and fall asleep at ~5. You would think this would make me more tired as my sleep deprivation continues, but for some reason it doesn't get worse, and I never feel tired. I don't sleep in the day, and i'm never drowsy. I drink about 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning, and so far my cognition is normal. This has been going on for a few weeks now and is becoming kind of unnerving. Does anyone have any insight as to why this could be happening?", "post_id": "52pl7y"}, {"question": "I wrote a [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) that you might find helpful :)", "comment": "So I like people. I love to be included and  be around my friends. But I've found when I am one on one with someone, I can't think of nothing to say. I end up bringing up weird, awkward things and distancing people from me. \n\nI just don't know any \"normal\" conversation starters. I also don't know what to do if I seem to say an alright thing (\"What are you doing when the summer starts?\" \"-insert funny thing- happened today. Crazy, huh?\") and they don't reply or they just say one word or sentence and don't speak again. How do I get people to keep talking to me?", "post_id": "34a5ne"}, {"question": "I would suggest that you say to the doctor what you've said here. Especially if you're in one practice the records should remain available, but what you ask for is not unreasonable.\n\nFor what it's worth, though, many doctors will be uncomfortable with Xanax and possibly unwilling to continue to prescribe it. That's about the demonizing of benzodiazepines, which is not without reason. Still, if that won't be continued then you should be able to talk about why and what he or she can offer as a suggestion instead.", "comment": "40/F/5'6/Caucasian/Ongoing for years\n\nI am currently under the care of a regular talk doc (psychologist), but the medicine doc (psychiatrist) in this particular practice keeps changing.  For the longest time I was on a regimen of Zoloft 100mg daily for depression, with Xanax at .5mg as needed, up to 2x or 3x daily.  In 2013 my dad passed away and I was bumped up to 200mg of Zoloft, and in 2015 I was pregnant so I was basically off all meds during that time.  At the end of the pregnancy, I was able to slowly get back onto Zoloft, and because of some severe post-partum anxiety, I was allowed to take a max of 4 Xanax per day. \n\nBecause the doctors in the office have been revolving, every 3-6 months I have to meet with a new doctor, re-explain everything, and hope they will either keep me on the Zoloft/Xanax, or want to try me on something new.  The last doctor who was in the practice was very, very anti Xanax and would only fill my Rx as 1 per day, PRN.  He also put me on Buspirone, 5mg 2x per day and this really kicked my moods into darn near suicidal.  When I brought this up to him, he did not want me to stop taking the Buspirone, but instead asked me to bump up my Zoloft to 200mg (and again, no increase on the Xanax). \n\nThat doctor is since gone, and tomorrow I see the latest doctor who will hopefully stay in the practice for a while.  How do I best present that I would like to go back to the regimen that seemed to work out the best for me without making it sound like I am trying to self-diagnose myself?  I live in an area where, unfortunately, I think they are used to people abusing the system and I am not one of those people.  I really, really don't feel stable on the Buspirone, and while some days I feel OK if I only take one Xanax, there are days where my anxiety is so much worse and I wish I could take a second pill without the worry of running out by the end of the month.  \n\nHopefully this all makes sense.  Thanks in advance for any advice you are able to give. ", "post_id": "9wh2ha"}, {"question": "ask her out", "comment": "Hi this is a throw away since my buddy knows my real account. Anyways I am 19 years old and have been friends with this guy since we were kids. \nWe basically grew up together. In the past 6 months I have developed a crush towards his sister... she is the same age as me and we recently have been talking alot more. \nAnyways at first I figured the crush was nothing and it would pass but it didn't go away. She is home from college and it's getting to the point where I really want to ask her out but I'm not sure if it's a good idea..... \nI don't really think he would care all that much but it's just the principal of it since it goes against the \"bro code\" type deal. The other night we were all drinking at his house and she drinks with us too..\n The funny thing is the other night there mom has now noticed because she literally said \" I think we need to give him a few more drinks before he will admit that he likes you\" I kinda just smiled and looked away but obviously she knows it. At this point I'm not sure what to think because I have tried talking to other girls and going on dates but she still keeps popping up in my head.", "post_id": "5kd7hm"}, {"question": "if you're comfortable being friends, then reach out from time to time. there are friends that talk everyday, and there are friends that have lunch once/month and don't talk in between.  every friendship finds its level.", "comment": "My ex broke up with me about 9 months ago mainly due to off timing and personality differences. During the break up, he was very insistent on us being friends in time. I know everyone says that, but I truly believe he meant it especially since we were actually friends before we dated. About a month later we met up but it was a too soon as I got a bit emotional. After that, we weren't in contact for almost 5-6 months. He finally reaches out in October and suggests meeting up. We catch up over coffee for almost 4 hours and it felt like good old times. He said he missed hanging out but feels we needed the break. He even suggested us doing activities like going to yoga together.  I like to think I have a good read on situations and the hangout went well other than maybe it went a bit too long. I haven't heard from him since other than I sent him a happy bday text in December which lead to a very brief text conversation. I'm just confused now cause after our recent hangout it's clear we can be friends and we're ready. Does he not want to be friends? Any insight? ", "post_id": "5ou12i"}, {"question": "I think you should report it. It'll be an advantage for you to do so!", "comment": "Basically I'm transferring to real college in the spring. Now, I can report myself as having mental illnesses which I have which would give me some advantages that I could use probably. But I feel that if I do report it, people are going to judge me. The main advantage for me is in housing. I need a single room when getting a dorm and well this is harder to do. I don't know if it's worth it. I also would make sure I have a psychatrist from school check in on me periodically but I don't know if I want that either. I'm really in a whole mess of what to do. ", "post_id": "uz6f1"}, {"question": "You could read \u2018Compassion and Self-hate\u2019 and \u2018Addicted to Unhappiness.\u2019", "comment": "I have many stressors in my life at the moment and these seems to be causing my depression to manifest in different ways. I'm trying to diet and lose weight but I keep sabotaging myself. I tried to diet and didn't stick to it. I've signed up to the gym but find the idea of going so humiliating I can't make myself do it. I just want to stay home and cry and feel pathetic about not being able to go. I know it's stupid but I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can make myself go? ", "post_id": "8tt4sz"}, {"question": "is it a university based program in colorado??", "comment": "Hi everyone.\n\nLet me start off by saying I love my girlfriend and she loves me - we rarely fight, we have been on trips together, we always work together well, and it's almost too perfect to be true. We met on Tinder, but we were friends first and it just turned into this amazing relationship. We have been (officially) a couple 9 months; but we went on our first date more like a year ago. \n\nWhen I was 11 years old I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. For those that don't know, this disease is horrific. I, in some ways, am fortunate that it is in my small intestine - meaning I rarely get diarrhea like a lot of other Crohn's sufferers get. However, this is also bad news because the small bowel is harder to treat. I am malnourished, underweight, and, in general, in a significant amount of pain. \n\nI am seeing a doctor, and I am taking the medications provided - however, like most Crohn's patients find, the medication doesn't always work... in my case it doesn't work at all. \n\nI have severe damage to my small intestine, scarring, inflammation, and partial obstructions (blockages). \n\n**Here is my actual question...** I have to move to Colorado to seek further treatment. I am quite confident it will be immensely beneficial to me and my overall health (I have my sources). It is 4 1/2 hours away from my girlfriend. I have a great job here, too, which I would have to leave. I would live with my parents who are in Colorado.\n\nI want to marry my girlfriend down the line - but neither of us are prepared for that right now. I don't want to do long distance if I can avoid it, but... I guess this is where your advice comes in. What would you do, Reddit? I have talked to my girlfriend about it.", "post_id": "6sdlwo"}, {"question": "couple therapy", "comment": "I (f29) have been with my bf (m29) for almost ten years. We've had our issues and we've been through hell but always seem to go back to our norm eventually. Lately he hates how much I hate the world and people and I feel like he just doesn't get me. I get depressed, never been diagnosed, i dont like the Idea of meds to numb me. I haven't wanted to have sex for years but I'm still attracted to him, I just don't want to with anyone. I can't tell if this has to do with him or if its just me and my depression and it will pass. I feel like I finally know who I am and an comfortable with it and don't want to be fake to please others anymore. Like maybe I've only been what I think he wants me to be but now I'm tired and he doesn't actually like the real me. I feel like we are good I'm crisis mode but can't deal with everyday life. I always build up everything in my head, real life has never lived up to my fantasy. Am I being stupid to want a soul mate and true love or do those things even exist. Love is work, I know but when do you decide it's not worth the work anymore? ", "post_id": "6nh19s"}, {"question": "Do you have GPs in the UK?", "comment": "Confession of a frequent ER visitor. 26 year old, male, 173cm, 66kg.\n\nFor the last three years had various problems with health. I have an obsession with health and am very sensitive to any problems happening. I do excessive googling of a possible condition and end up stressed and convinced I have something.\n\nIt does not cost anything to attend ER in UK. I went there more than 30 times in the last 3 years. First I was concerned I might have diabetes (measuring my blood glucose) and ended up not eating much. I had symptoms that resembled heart attack and super fast paced heart and thought it is the end ... all tests were always normal.\n\nNow, it is back to having problems with digestion - it causes pain and I go ER. In addition, after eating my temperature goes to low fever and every doctor is puzzled why. But all blood and imaging tests never show anything. I went to gastro and she mentioned mild gastritis but was surprised about low fever after eating...\n\nAnyways, my main point is ... how do I deal with my hypochondria and being convinced to have something bad? I feel like am abusing ER and actual healthcare system. All the time they find nothing.\n\nShould I go to psychiatrist?", "post_id": "c2tvhn"}, {"question": "It's all a balance.  Professors generally want participation.  The more you participate, the more they will feel you're invested in the class and your learning.  \n\n\nI would say that it's a good idea to participate as much as possible without monopolizing the time.  If you've already asked a few questions or participated in discussion and you can see others in the class want to, allow others to get a chance.  \n\n\nIf the professor asks for feedback or opinions and the class is silent, looks like they don't care, this is the perfect time to participate.  There's nothing worse than that kind of silence during a lecture for a professor and most will be grateful that at least one student showed interest and engagement.  \n\n\nNot every professor is going to understand the intricacies of social anxiety and more often than not, if you are only raising your hand or participating once a week or less, they'll assume you're not very interested or engaged.   ", "comment": "I graduated college a while ago and still don't understand this. Should you help the teacher out and raise your hand to contribute a few times each class? A few times a week? Only when you have something you don't think someone else will say?", "post_id": "8sopxq"}, {"question": "Hard to know for sure. Sometimes when people have been depressed for a long time, if their mood normalizes for a little bit, it can feel \u201ceuphoric\u201d just by comparison even though it\u2019s just normal mood. \n\nThe alternative would be sub threshold hypomanic symptoms (you\u2019d need a full seven days and other symptoms along with mood elevation). \n\nYou should discuss it with whoever is prescribing your nortriptyline. And if you stop sleeping or start noticing risky behaviour you should see a doctor right away. May be worth also asking the people in your life what these brief episodes look like from the outside - a doctor will also want to know if there is an objective behaviour change.", "comment": "I'm a 25 year old Male, with \"melancholic\" depression symptoms including:\n Anhedonia, No appetite (10 KG underweight), bad moods in the morning with lowered appetite, trouble waking, and falling a sleep, anxiety.\n\nI'm on Nortriptyline 25mg / day.\n\nToday I woke up absolutely euphoric, like I'm on some sort of opiate, I got out of be without struggling, ate breakfast without struggling, I feel calm and relaxed, my veins are enlarged like my blood pressure has gone up (it tends to be on the low side normally), I don't feel cold in my fingertips like I would normally in this weather, my skin is tingling, and when I masterbated the orgasm was way more intense.\n\nThis is not the first time it has happened, maybe 1-3 times a year never \"back to back\", this is the first time I've stopped to think, what is going on here, why such a swing in my body for no good reason, why is it so abrupt, and only on one day?\n\nThe only thing that has changed for me is I started eating eggs and spinach over the last few days.\n\nI've been looking around online to see if I could find anything that could describe the sensations, nothing really comes up, perhaps something related to oxytocin, or beta-endorphins?", "post_id": "7yvwhf"}, {"question": "It is sometimes prescribed off label for ADHD and some people do well with it. I\u2019ve been on Wellbutrin for years for my depression and don\u2019t find that it helps much with my particular brand of ADHD.", "comment": "Hey guys, my psychiatrist just Px'd me Wellbutrin for ADHD. I know this is an anti-depressant; however, she assured me that it's secondarily used to treat ADHD. \n\nJust curious if anyone has experience with this? I was no aware that this drug could be used. Any insight is appreciated! Thanks! ", "post_id": "a3htqy"}, {"question": "I'm not in the medical field per se but I do work as a licensed mental health therapist. I won't speak to the specifics of the medical side of things but I'll share pointers that helped me out. \n\nThe biggest thing for me was having some way to centralize everything. Whether it's your phone, a planner, a notebook, etc., it really helped me to have one place to put everything down. Everything. To do lists, reminders, notes, all that. I have ideas for helpful iPhone-specific apps if you have one. \n\nUse the counseling/disability/tutoring services at your school. They're often very good at helping you come up with strategies to help. \n\nFor me, at least, the Pomodoro Technique has been a lifesaver. ", "comment": "I have ADHD-PI. I want to be a doctor (psych, neuro, ortho, or trauma/ER). I'd be getting my nursing degree as my undergrad so I can be a nurse if I don't get into med school so this is for you nurses too.\n\nI just want to know if this is a career choice that ADHD people can thrive in or if I'll drown. I'm okay with the years of schooling, I actually like school. Do you think you had a harder time in school than people with ADHD in other fields? Do you regret anything?", "post_id": "3cwueh"}, {"question": "do you have a therapist?", "comment": "I'm going to preface this by saying that I am a deeply imperfect person in many ways, and while I am usually a really good friend (loyal, caring) I make a terrible, awful girlfriend / romantic partner.  \n\nMy boyfriend and I began dating when we were 18, right after highschool finished. We had a rocky start (I didn't tell my parents about the relationship for 2 years because they were quite against me dating for other reasons - they are fine with it now and love my current boyfriend) which caused a few issues between us, and eventually led us to break up for a very short period. We always got back together and have been together for 7 years now. \n\nOver the last 7 years, we've had some relationship issues but we have always gotten through them. However, I have never really been completely honest about the fact that during the last 7 years, I have indulged in what most would consider 'emotional affairs' - no sexting or anything physical, but friendships with guys which definitely pushed boundaries where long, emotional conversations were involved and 'subtle' flirting. During each of these emotional affairs (there has been 4 in total) i've questioned my relationship with my boyfriend as i was having 'crush like' feelings for these guys and knew they would probably be physical with me if I gave them the opportunity. All those emotional affairs usually ended when they realised I was never leaving my boyfriend and then my boyfriend and I would go back to normal. \n\nIn the last few months I have been going to therapy and realised that I have depression and may have something called 'histrionic personality disorder' (not that it excuses my shitty behaviour) which may explain some of what has been going on. In my mind I know i love my boyfriend. I don't want to be with anyone else. I think he is funny, attractive, caring, not jealous or paranoid..essentially the perfect guy. He has a video game addiction that has made him really slow with finishing college, but really thats one of his only (few) flaws. Our sex life is...not great. I feel my sexual attraction to him has waned over the years. I feel as if I need the validation and attention from new guys constantly. These short flings with other guys make me feel excited and happy. The weird thing is, I lived overseas for college for 2 years where I felt professionally really fulfilled and the emotional affairs stopped. I had none while overseas, away from my boyfriend. Now that i've returned home to a much smaller job market, the intense emotional affairs have started up again and this time I made the horrible decision to kiss one of them. I am not going to tell my boyfriend that I kissed another guy because it would plainly destroy him and I don't think one kiss is worth the emotional turmoil it would put him through. Yes, I know this is an awful thing to do, but the decision has been made. \n\nMy question basically is - what can I do to really change? Therapy has made me aware of my actions and feelings, but not enough to explicitly change them. When I drink or smoke pot, I am even more susceptible to the behaviour. I still dress provocatively and use my appearance (i'm fairly attractive) to get attention from the opposite sex. I have a really bubbly personality and a pretty good sense of humour, so guys feel quite comfortable around me. I still get a dopamine rush when I get attention from someone of the opposite sex, and always end up following it up despite myself. I want to change for my boyfriend. I want to become a better person and I don't want to be this way - but how do I change something that seems so deeply rooted in my personality? I've noticed the same personality issues with my father, who has had two emotional affairs with other women during his marriage to my mother. They are still together. I don't want to become him, and I certainly don't want to marry my boyfriend only to continue to do this shit to him. My options are to end what he essentially thinks is a perfectly happy relationship, continue living with a lie and really try and change for the future, or just accept I should never be in a long term relationship. I would like to know how to do the second option, and if it's impossible, how to explain to my boyfriend what kind of person I really am without making him feel as if he has lived a lie for 7 years. I want him to get out of this as unscathed as possible.  \n\nPlease help. If you have been through something like this, any advice would be appreciated.  ", "post_id": "66h3a0"}, {"question": "What do you see as your options?", "comment": "Hi all! Throwaway as my main is pretty easy to identify and I know he's a redditor. \n\nSo here's the story: my best friend is amazing. We met in college and have been there for each other through a lot. I [25/F] have PTSD and she's stood by my side as other friends have fallen away. She introduced me to my BF [28/M] who I've been with for 4.5 years and who is the light of my life. \n\nHer BF, however, is a different story. I want to like him and sometimes I do, but I can't help but think there is something wrong going on with their relationship and it makes it hard for me to be around him. \n\nThey've been together for a while and when they first started dating he showed a lot of red flags: leaving her on the streets alone after a heaving night of drinking and fighting, calling her names, mocking her personal beliefs, and once proclaiming that although he's never cheated on her he cheated on all his past gfs. He's generally funny and she seems to be in love with him, but once, while ranting about issues with our respective BFs I got the sense that it was common for him to lie about who he sees and what he does when he goes out. She once caught him with a girl on his lap at a bar... \n\nThis alone would probably make any best friend upset, but I've had personal interactions with him that really drive it home for me. Because of my mental illness I rarely drink and if I do it's just one beer/cocktail. One. No more, no less. She knows this. Their lifestyle includes a lot of drinking so on the rare occasion we go to a double date, there's a lot of drinks going around except me. Several times now he's secretly bought us all shots and when I didn't want to take mine he threw a fit. Most recently he did it to just my BF and he was upset, but agreed to take it because he had already spent the cash and he felt obligated. Another time they took us out to dinner, their treat, and he bought me a cocktail I barely touched and literally threw a fit and wouldn't let us leave until it was finished (my friend gulped it down who was clearly uncomfortable). \n\nWhat the fuck is this? To me, it's scary because he triggers my PTSD which was caused by men who wouldn't take \"no\", fighting, and being completely unconscious as a sign to leave me the fuck alone and his tantrums and boundary-crossing makes it literally impossible for me to be around him. I want to say something, but I feel like I had my chance way back when they started dating (and I did voice concern, but it never went anywhere). He also pays 90% of their bills (he's well off) and I know that is another form of control. She seems to be thriving and confident about life and maybe it's my own pathology that is triggered by him, but I'm tired of coming up with excuses on why I never want to hang with both of them together. \n\nTL;DR Best friend's BF shows serious signs of control issues and is emotionally abusive. I want to be there for her, but I can't stand to be around him and I'm tired of coming up with excuses. ", "post_id": "6ar6pc"}, {"question": "decide how much attention you need. if he can't respond, you're likely not compatible. every relationship has different proportions of time alone vs time together.", "comment": "So ive been with my boyfriend about 6 months and during honeymoon we were literally on fire. It has understandably tapered off a bit and he apologises for the lack of sex but i tell him thats not what im needing. I just want affection and his attention sometimes. \n\nIm looking for more conversation and cuddles and eye contact. One on one stuff. I dont want to come across as needy or whining for it. \n\nWhat do you think is the most reasonable way to approach this?", "post_id": "6wylum"}, {"question": "When you say you live in a country where mental illness \"isn't really recognized,\" what does that mean?  Are there mental health professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists) in your country?  \n  \nFeel free to private message me.  I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I can offer you some advice if you would like.  ", "comment": "I went through an experience a while ago which really affected me and my whole life. Things aren't the same for me anymore. Thing is everyone else has moved on from it because it didn't happen to them, and I feel like a broken record because for me its still happening. I don't know who to talk or go to anymore. I don't want to trivialise war veterans, rape victims etc who suffer from ptsd by thinking there's a possibility I have it... but Im also really scared that it is what I have. I also live in a country where mental illnesses are not really recognised, so i really didnt know where else to go to apart from this subreddit. Basically I don't know what else do to do or where to go from but I feel like I cant carry on this way :(. Sorry for the long post.", "post_id": "29r6yq"}, {"question": "only if you're mother teresa. you're entitled to be a total altruist if you choose. but most are not self sacrificing.", "comment": "I am a male (23) and I recently broke up with my girlfriend (23) of just over 3 years because I began to realize that at my age, my focus is just elsewhere - that being my work. She is an amazing girl and I truly love her to death but I just felt I was being unfair to her by staying with her even though my mind is constantly elsewhere. I knew that if we broke up it would kill her so I never pulled the trigger until the other day. I honestly feel liberated but it hurts me knowing the pain I am causing her - so much so that I question if this was the right choice. She is the perfect girl for me in many ways but I can't be the boyfriend she deserves at this time in my life. I know that I can love her again once my life is in order but I didn't want to deprive myself of certain life experiences by maintaining a relationship essentially \"on hold\" and I didn't want to deprive her of a fulfilling relationship she deserves. \n\nI hope one day down the line we can work things out again but I'm worried the pain I am causing her might be too much.\n\nSo I ask, is it ever the right choice to stay with someone for the sake of not hurting them?\n\nIn my case so that we can have a future together, even if in present time and foreseeable our relationship is not exactly healthy.", "post_id": "6koujm"}, {"question": "she simply has different needs than you at the moment", "comment": "The title is a bit concise.\nMy girlfriend and i are both in our first relationship, everything is great when we're together, i love her dearly and she loves me too. But for some reason she cannot make time for me, she goes to college, has a job, couple of friends and she plays sports at a fairly high level. \nI have no problem with any of those intrinsically, because i think its great she has a lot of things going on. Problem is, when scheduling stuff to do, she seems to forget me. I have brought this up several times and she promised to better herself, but now she's gone out again and i'm alone writing this.\nDoes anyone have any advice? Any questions i should ask myself? Thanks in advance!\nEdit; gf is 18, almost 19.", "post_id": "6y39vw"}, {"question": "Given your blood results, id also be saying good nutrition and exercise is in order only. ", "comment": "I am 22 years female\nHeight-156cm\nWeight-54.3\nhaemoglobin-10.3\nPCV-33.4\nMCV-70.0\nMCH-21.5\nMCHC-30.8\nBody fat-32.2%\nTOTAL RBC COUNT-4.77\nTOAL CHOLESTEROL-142.4\n\nI feel tired very often,Doctor suggesed me to take Good food,may I know Shall I need to take any medicines or what kind of food will help my condition?", "post_id": "75vfaw"}, {"question": "If you choose to go make sure you have a lot of friends that are beside you all the time", "comment": "About a year ago I was romantically involved with a guy who was horrible to me. He was never physically violent, but would manipulate, lie, threaten suicide, make me feel responsible for his mistreatment of me.\n\nIt's over now, but I'm still working through a lot of the trauma.\n\nI recently found out that a close friend of his will be performing at an event where I have work featured. I don't know for sure if he will be there, but even if he isn't I'm scared his friend might be nasty to me, and if he is there I think I might have a full blown panic attack. I haven't seen him since we broke up.\n\nHas anyone dealt with this type of situation? How can I go to this event and keep myself safe even if I do see him?", "post_id": "5wdnaj"}, {"question": "u/highrhymes has given good advice here, but I'll chime in and agree. There's very limited data on THC exposure in children, particularly infrequent rather heavy use. That said, everything we know points to THC being not good for neurological development in adolescents, and there's no reason to think it would be better for infants.\n\nMy advice, similarly, would be to completely avoid THC. It's possible that the amount transmitted in breast milk is low enough and that there  is a threshold below which it has no effect, but we don't know that. It may be safe. It probably is mostly safe, most of the time. But it's a completely avoidable risk, so why not avoid it?", "comment": "I\u2019m a bit of an anxious person as is. My baby is 4 months old. I breast feed and formula feed. A good friend of mine has a baby and has been using THC oil almost daily since her baby was 3 months old (she breastfeeds). She claims that she has done several drug screens of her breast milk and they have all been negative. She also claims it\u2019s perfectly safe and has no effect on her baby. For what it\u2019s worth, her 1 year old is extremely intelligent, independent and talkative. \nWould it be safe for me to try this? Maybe not daily, but once in a while?\nWill it transfer to my breast milk? If so, for how long? Will it effect my child and if so, how?", "post_id": "b12n8f"}, {"question": "The Good: I'm on Day 65 and feeling mighty proud of it.  The weather here has finally dropped below the 100s.  I've got an exercise class tonight that I'm looking forward to.\n\nThe Bad: I've had a pretty draining past couple of days.  I'm hoping today is a bit more relaxed.\n\nThe Future:  I am going to treat myself to something on Day 75!  Not sure what yet, perhaps a new dress.  :)", "comment": "It\u2019s that day again. Guess what day it is? Happy Hump Day, everybody! What's Up Wednesdays are when we sobernauts celebrate the sober life, see how our SD family is doing, and support each other. Share your good, your bad, and your ugly (or your pretty, or your future, or whatever else is on your mind) with us below!\n\n-----------------------------------------\n\n**The Good:** I have always been in such dread of the impending winter gloom that I have never fully appreciated autumn. This year, for some reason, I am loving it. Perhaps seeing the leaves turn so beautifully in the Adirondack Mountains has finally made me appreciate the loveliness of fall. \n\n**The Bad:** I\u2019m working so hard at various editorial projects that I haven\u2019t really had any time to relax. (When you\u2019re a freelancer, it\u2019s only ever feast or famine.)\n\n**The Funny:** [This is how I feel on some days.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d8m333/hopelessness/)", "post_id": "dc4fub"}, {"question": "Antidepressants won't have much effect on your mood if you're not depressed. Sertraline has a pretty benign side effect profile. There's sometimes weight gain, but not more than placebo. There can be GI side effects (nausea, diarrhea) or headache, but again, they tend to be mild and go away. The most common side effects of sertraline are sexual, which of course is the whole point in your case.\n\nBut \"might be\" is still not definite. Delayed orgasm is common and would be helpful. Loss of libido can also happen and is less helpful. Still, those effects end when you stop taking the medication. It's worth talking with a doctor about it. The use is definitely off-label, but it's low risk.", "comment": "32/M.  5'10\" 190 lbs.\n\nMarked NSFW just in case.\n\nI have been suffering from PE for the last few years of my marriage.  I have been with my wife for 10+ years and I do not remember when exactly the issue started but it is a problem every time we are intimate.  I have tried several different behavioral methods to combat the issue but to no avail.  My wife says it is not a problem but it affects me greatly because I feel that we are not getting the full satisfaction out of intercourse.\n\nI recently started seeing sponsored ads for Roman on my social media and saw that they offer solutions for premature ejaculation.  I was intrigued and the price for medication seemed fair.  I went ahead and took their 25+ question questionaire and I was recommended 25mg of Sertraline.  \n\nI looked into the medication and saw that it is the generic of Zoloft.  I did not sign up for the service yet and simply saved my info for later if I would like to move forward.\n\nWhat risks would I be running by taking this medication?  I do not suffer from depression and it worried me that this is an anti-depressant.  On the flip side, the PE is negatively affecting my life and the physical connection I have with my spouse.", "post_id": "9xhhph"}, {"question": "Serotonin syndrome is the wrong worry: bupropion (Wellbutrin) is not serotonergic, and mirtazapine (Remeron) is actually a serotonin antagonist. Neither has been associated with any cases of serotonin syndrome as far as I know.\n\nHowever, curcumin probably does inhibit several cytochrome P450 enzymes, which are needed to break down many medications. Because of that, it could raise the effective dose of mirtazapine and especially Wellbutrin. But that's a could, and I don't know whether the effect would be clinically significant.\n\nStill, unless you have a very good reason to take curcumin, it's a supplement with no evidence that it is particularly helpful for anything, and raising Wellbutrin levels runs the risk of causing seizures. I would recommend against it curcumin.", "comment": "I take Mirtazapine 45 mg and Wellbutrin 300 mg for depression, Apriso 1500 mg for colitis, Levothyroxine 75 mg for hypothyroidism. White 25 y/o male, 5'7\" 142 lbs. I'm paranoid about things like serotonin syndrome (I'm a bit of a hypochondriac)", "post_id": "aoa7m4"}, {"question": "if it's defined as exclusive, he should be paying more attention. rule of thumb:: if you want to be married and there's no plan after a year, it's likely never to happen.", "comment": "I met my current boyfriend 11 months ago. Initially he did not want to be exclusive and I forced the issue for awhile until I gave up and left him for approximately a week. He came back to me wanting to start an exclusive relationship. \n\nIn June 2016 we became exclusive and slowly progressed. He wanted to take things extremely slow. There are certain aspects of my relationship that scream progression.  He wants to meet my family. Yet I feel used. \n\nI feel like he comes in and out of my apartment. Lives freely without the intent to make me more. I feel like I'm just someone he is with in the meantime. I feel that our relationship is simply him having a good time. \n", "post_id": "5msdi9"}, {"question": "Yes, ischemia causes lesions\u2014that's a stroke. Hypoxia, which is general lack of oxygen rather than a part of the brain that doesn't get enough blood, also produces fairly characteristic lesions on imaging.\n\nNeither brain ischemia nor MS affect the eye directly but can affect the visual cortex or optic nerve, respectively. The patterns are different. Ischemia shows up in patterns based on bloodflow and has a characteristic appearance; MS produces demyelination of white matter.\n\nThe clinical presentation\u2014the symptoms and the timing of them\u2014is usually, though not always, different.", "comment": "Age : 50\nWeight :52 KG\nLocation of the Complaint:The Brain\nDuration of the complaint : 4 Months\nPast/Current Medical History : Blood Pressure\nCurrent Meds : Seroxate , Cervitam , Stroka ,Asprin \n\n1-Can Brain Ischemia Cause Lesions in the brain???\n\n2-what is the difference in Eye Damage Between Brain-Ischemia and MS?", "post_id": "9a3p2r"}, {"question": "There is no too much or little. Any therapist can charge whatever they want. ", "comment": "I live in Canada (province of Ontario) and my psychologist currently charges $200 per hour,\n\nis this too expensive?\n\nshe practises therapy at her own home, so she doesn't need to cover rental fees\n\nhow much of that $200 goes to other expenses, and how much would she actually be making out of that $200?", "post_id": "9cdqvu"}, {"question": "Hey there! How are you feeling today?", "comment": "TMI warning: so today I had diarrhea and now I\u2019m having a panic attack because I\u2019m worried that I\u2019m sick. I\u2019ve had a rough week so it could be from anxiety but idk. I\u2019m also dairy intolerant and I had cheese today but I don\u2019t normaly get it this bad when I have dairy. My stomach doesn\u2019t hurt, I don\u2019t feel sick, I\u2019m not cold or pale but I\u2019m still incredibly anxious. I\u2019m really scared someone help me.  Idk what to do", "post_id": "ao0ixt"}, {"question": "Notebook or some way to get your feelings out of your head and somewhere else. \n\nNecessities! That means anything you need to eat, sleep, breathe, drink (water).\n\nComfort! Shoes, clothes, and comfort objects. And stuff that's personal- a blanket, baby pillow, scarf, extra poofy jacket to hide in, warmth you get the picture.\n\nDistrations. Music is huge. A portable gaming machine. A book (happy books or ones that make you think just not about bad emotions. I love mystery and Sci fi ). A rubix cube. Sudoku. ANYTHING you might find helpful to zone out for a bit\n\nKnow where the exits are. Know where the bathrooms are. Wherever you go, go with the knowledge that safety and support is a phone call away - whether it be a family member, a friend, a loved one, a therapist or counselor or even priest. \n\nPictures of things  that make you happy. Animals. Your pets. Friends. Food. \n\nExercise every morning! It will help you get out of a funk and alter your mindset.\n\nIf I think of more il add them. This has helped me immensely", "comment": "Things have not been going well for me lately.  I've taken the next week off as stress leave and I'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation.  I'd like to make myself an \"emergency\" kit of sorts to get me through. When I'm having a really bad day, it's something I can come to for a bit of help.  I also recognize that this may have to be replenished frequently. \n\nDoes anyone have one of these? What do you keep in it?  Do you have any ideas of what I should put into mine?  I was thinking of making one for a friend at the same time.", "post_id": "2lu90i"}, {"question": "Protection 101: Get tested regularly for the whole range of STDs, use condoms until you both commit to being in an exclusive relationship, get tested, then figure out contraception going forward by talking about it.  \n\nYour approach: \"10 days in, unprotected sex, This is going amazing.\"", "comment": "Hey, I just got into this new relationship for about a month and half now.. she's really awesome.  She told me everything about her past which was quite a lot for me to deal with as I'm quite a \"conservative guy\" however we have had unprotected sex about 2 weeks into our relationship (which was really dumb of me).  In the first week of dating her she told me she was with this guy right before we met but she broke it off before we went on our 2nd date.. so from what I understand now (a month down the line), she didn't use protection when having sex with him.. she told me about this which I really didn't like (for the simple reason I don't really enjoy knowing what she was up to with other guys).. anyway she said to me she had a pregnancy scare the other day (from this other guy).  I want her to take a pregnancy test just to make 100% sure.  I've also now gone for an HIV test just to make sure I'm ok.. anyway I'm not sure if this relationship is worth perusing?  I do really like her, I mean I love her but there seems to be problems with all this unprotected sex shit.. the problems are from both my side and hers.. anyway is it worth talking to her about all this or should I just let it play out?  Sorry I feel like a total idiot posting this story, I was really stupid.  If I can get any advice on what to do that would be great, my mind is going crazy..\n\nTL;DR:  She had unprotected sex before we started our relationship, I then had unprotected sex with her.  She got a pregnancy scare from sex with this other guy.  Now I'm worried I might have a disease such as HIV and that she might be pregnant.\n\nPS: I'm an idiot.", "post_id": "708z0o"}, {"question": "Follow up--how do I deal with the giant wall that is up in my relationship due to the poor decision making from this weekend?  It makes me feel so alone and scared and hopeless.  He's trying really hard to be supportive, but also drawing a hard line in the stand and being intentionally blunt about the problem.  \nI just want to sit here and cry all day.", "comment": "Oof.  I am struggling with the idea that I'm hitting a point that I'm posting here.\n\nAbout me.. I'm in my early 30s.. and I think I have a drinking problem. \n\nI've suffered from anxiety pretty much all my life.  I also had a brief stint with an eating disorder.  And as of today I'm feeling like I've hit the, \"I need to control my drinking\" point just one too many times.  \nEver since I've started drinking, I've periodically (once every couple months) had binge drinking episodes that lead to really bad life decisions.  I often just attributed it to college and partying with everyone else. \nYet, if I look back, there are too many times that I was arguably the most drunk.  A NYE that I puked before midnight.  A party that I punched my friend because she wouldn't let me go for a walk alone. Just feeling embarrassed the next day because I was the drunk one. \nMore recently this has lead to significant issues in my relationships.  I'm a pretty sensitive and emotional person, and when I get drunk, all of that gets amplified times 3.  I've been with my partner for over a year and I love him to bits. But he says when I'm drunk I act like I hate him.  This weekend he had his aha moment where he realized he is afraid of me when I'm drunk, because I hurt him emotionally when I'm drunk.  I pick fights. I push him away.  He's basically said that he's not sure our relationship will make it if I don't get a handle on my drinking. \nI think in his mind he's thinking I can go to moderation.  I want him to be right.  I know a lot of times I really can control my drinking.  Yet, I'm scared.  I'm scared because I have said I would cut back so many times and haven't. \nI'm also scared because my partner and all his friends and family drink pretty regularly, so I'm not sure what will happen if I decide I can't drink at all. \nRight now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.\nSadly I also kind of want to go home from work and have a drink.  I just want to make it all go away. ", "post_id": "43pf6s"}, {"question": "No, a node biopsy isn't helpful for diagnosing MS. A biopsy of a central nervous system lesion can be helpful, but they're usually not done because the diagnosis can be made based on imaging and symptoms and a brain or spine biopsy is high risk while not actually helping that much with making the diagnosis.", "comment": "​\n\n* Age\n\n23\n\n* Sex\n\nFemale\n\n* Height\n\n5,1\n\n* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any)\n\nHas chronic low pressure and faints/gets nauseated easily, frequent small spasms in the face and hands, had severe anemia as a child.   \n\n\n  \nSo, a female relative of mine discovered that she has a nodule in her neck, hopefully it won't be cancer (the chances are slim, they are there but fortunately they are slim), but her next step is probably going to be having biopsy on the nodule, to examinate it further.     \n\n\nMy question is really simple and specific, if i wanted to know if she possibly has multiple sclerosis, would a biopsy done on that nodule show that?  I read somewhere that to confirm multiple sclerosis, a biopsy has to be made, but maybe in another part of the body.    \n", "post_id": "auat6a"}, {"question": "Amitriptyline is one of the more sedating TCAs. Nortriptyline is generally more tolerable, as are several others. At true antidepressant doses they tend to have side effects more often than newer classes of antidepressant.\n\nVenlafaxine (Effexor) is an SNRI that can be used to prevent migraines, so I would not expect it to cause them. It\u2019s also activating rather than sedating.\n\nBupropion (Wellbutrin) works through different mechanisms than other antidepressants. It\u2019s not sedating and not associated with migraines.", "comment": "31F, 5'3, 180lbs. - medications: sertraline, amoxicillin, nexplanon - non-smoker - medical issues: depression, anxiety, adhd, carp skin condition - duration of complaint: headaches started 3 years ago. \n\n​\n\nI've been on sertraline for years. I recently figured out that it is what has been giving me headaches. Migraine with aura and nausea. Every week 3-7 days a week.\n\nI talked to my doctor who prescribed amitriptyline. I had a very bad reaction to it. Literal falling asleep at the wheel on the low starter dose they had me on. It didn't get any better when they halved that dosage. I was told to stop taking that and take citalopram. Headaches started up on day 2 of the low starter dose. The doctor has given up already I assume as she put me back on a low dose of sertraline.\n\nAny advice on what to suggest is appreciated. I'm not ok without antidepressants but if I have to live in pain for the rest of my life I don't know what I'll do.", "post_id": "epohkt"}, {"question": "I drunkenly pulled a spin move on a cop and then hid in a bush in the rain on this day last year. This year is a night in with the girlfriend. Much better night tonight.", "comment": "I am staying in today and turtling.  I hear the hoots and hollers.  I witnessed the streets being blocked off for the mariachis and cervesa / tequila vendors. I literally hear sirens blaring through my open window. This is almost as big as St. Patrick's day here in Northern California. \n\nWhat I am dreading tomorrow, Monday, is seeing all the \"I reset my badge\" or \"I need to reset my badge\", or \"I effed up this weekend\"... I have been seeing this trend every Monday.  It is disheartening. \n\nStay strong everyone.  Please.  We can do this.  No regrets with a salt and lime chaser.\n\nI'll post tomorrow on my next prime.  I have good news.  Thanks. ", "post_id": "1drcnd"}, {"question": "If you did, you would see many people around you with the same symptoms. I'm assuming you live with your parents?", "comment": "M, 15, USA, Possibly had coronavirus\n\nI was really sick in mid December with a dry cough and shortness of breath, and a sore throat so bad, i could not speak. A mild fever ensured and I was overall sick for atleast 3 weeks. After attending the doctors office, they concluded i didnt test positive for seasonal flu, nor any other test they offered, including swine flu. Is it possible i had the coronavirus?", "post_id": "fmyczp"}, {"question": "First off, if you're drinking to manage your anxiety, you really need to cut that down or out completely.  It's only going to make you much more of an anxious person whenever you're not drinking.  I'm not saying you have to stop drinking, but drinking for fun and drinking to cope are two completely separate beasts.  \n\nFor your current state of affairs, try taking a time out, throwing some head phones on and listening to a few of your favorite songs.  Go out for some fresh air for 5-10 minutes when you feel the need.  \n\nMake lists of short fairly easy to accomplish goals in order to see everything you need to get done and make it look a little less overwhelming.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/mental-health-diagnosis-what-you-need-to-know/)", "comment": "Because I can't drink at work, any tips for kicking a giant wave of anxiety that suddenly comes over you? I literally cannot get any work done. I usually can muddle through it, asking myself what are some tasks that are bothering me the most that would be helpful to get out of the way, but I feel like I am stuck and just ready to black out. ", "post_id": "6x06yp"}, {"question": "Hey! This sounds amazing! Can you provide a little bit more detail about who runs these groups? Thank you so much :)", "comment": "Hi, reddit. I'm the founder of gr\u00fcp, pronounced \"group\". I am fully recovered from my fucking awful mental illnesses, but I wouldn't have been able to do that without group therapy. Here's why group therapy works: \"You control, and are ultimately responsible for, what, how much, and when you tell the group about yourself. Group therapy is often more enriching for some than individual therapy. You can benefit from the group even during sessions when you say little but listen carefully to others. Most people find that they have important things in common with other group members, and as others work on concerns, you can learn much about yourself. Group members may bring up issues that strike a chord with you, which you might not have been aware or of known now to bring up yourself. A natural process or enhanced acceptance of self and others occurs as one learns to relate more honestly and directly with others in the group\" (https://healthandcounseling.unca.edu). Currently, group therapy on average costs $50 per session. One session per week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year, costs $2,400. We are making an app for anonymous group therapy that's as cheap as Spotify premium. Essentially, you'd be able to sign up for chat/audio group therapy led by other users who've gone through whatever you are going through now. Check out our demo on the website and see what other people are saying. We are spreading the word, so give us a like on www.facebook.com/ourgrup to follow our progress. We also welcome feedback, anonymous or not. Just use the bottom part of our website, www.ourgrup.org. Thanks :) - Rayna", "post_id": "3fnqhf"}, {"question": "Please call CPS. Be assured that their goal is to keep you in your own home but make home safer for you. They only remove kids if they think the situation cannot be improved. Often they will require counseling or parenting classes for your parents. I would definitely encourage you to tell the person who interviews you that you would like to see a counselor. It will give you someone who can support you and help you deal with all the emotions you must be feeling. Stay safe.", "comment": "Long wall of text incoming. Posting from a throwaway due to some details.\n\nI don't know what to put here honestly. First of all I live in the US, to be specific Texas. My parents have acted very abusive towards me before, and have said/done some questionable things to me. While this has somewhat toned down over the past year,I'm still not sure if I'm in a safe environment. I also don't know if I should call something like CPS, since they might treat me worse and the nightmares of the foster care system are extremely worrying to me.\nSome of the events that have happened, things they've said, and things they've done to me:\n\n- I got into an argument with my parents while on a vacation because they had found out I was talking with friends online. They didn't like me talking with online people because of an incident involving my online friends that they didn't approve of. I've had issues with depression and suicidal thoughts before, and talking to people online had helped me calm those thoughts down. I told them that talking to online people helped me with depression and suicidal thoughts I've had before. My dad then goes to the knife drawer in our airbnb, pulls out a fucking knife, points it at me, and asks if\"I want to know how it (referring to suicide) feels like.\" At this point, I'm super scared. I almost call 911 because I feared for my safety, but for some reason I showed them the phone screen with 911on the screen. I don't remember what happened between that but I do remember my mother saying that \"they'll just arrest you instead.\"(something along the lines of that, my memory is a bit fuzzy when it comes to these type of events)\n\n- Back in middle school, I had gotten many detentions since my school had a system in place with demerits and I had acquired too many of them. One day when I had gotten a detention and she had picked me up from school (this wasn't on the day it was assigned),she asked me something along the lines of, \"So what happened today?\"I instantly knew she knew and I was kinda scared so I said nothing.This completely backfired on me since my silence on the situation had made her angrier to the point of completely losing it. She threatened to drop me off on the side of the road and almost followed through with it when she went into a parking lot next to the highway we were taking to go to her workplace, and made me get out. Thankfully she didn't follow through with that completely. When I got back in the car, she was still furious. She works in a hospital work place so she was saying about how she could get a mental institution to take me away or something. Since I was really scared and I didn't know what to do, I pulled out my phone and texted some of my friends, basically pleading for their help. My mom saw me texting and took my phone, and looked through the messages when we got to her work. She saw the messages and told me to tell my friends that I was joking and send the message in front of her... so that's what I did. The next day I go to school, the friends I texted got mad at me and were like \"Why did you lie? I got worried!\" I tried to tell them that I wasn't joking, but they didn't believe me and even started making jokes about it during class. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.\n\n - Another thing that would happen as a result of these detentions would be my dad beating me with a wooden paddle, or my mom beating me with a belt. I remember being so afraid of it and not knowing what to do. I also remember seeing the evil smile on my mom's face when she was beating me one time.\n\n - Adding on to this situation, during one of the beatings I remember that I wanted it audio recorded for some reason. My dad audio recorded it on his phone, and while it's deleted now, I have a feeling it's probably still in a backup somewhere.\n\n- I got caught staying up late and talking to friends (in real life and online). We got in an argument, and they ended up putting a camera in my room. It's one of those Arlo Pro cameras that you can access from your phone, speak through, and record. I've had some weird incidents involving these. One of the incidents that I can remember was when I decided to try out sleeping without clothes,because I was curious as to how it would feel like. My parents saw through the cameras, and my mom stormed up into my room. She very angrily told me that I shouldn't be doing that and called me perverted for wanting to do that. These cameras are still there, and they actively monitor it at times to see if I'm sleeping.\n\n - Adding to the theme of cameras, she's threatened to put a camera in my dorm room if I get low grades in college. I have no idea how this will work, and if it will even work at all. Probably not.\n\n- My mom has gotten mad at me to the point of completely losing it sometimes. One time that I specifically remember was me and her arguing about something in her car, while we were driving back to her workplace. She absolutely lost it, and started erratically driving while saying \"DO YOU WANNA DIE? YOU WANNA DIE?\" It stopped shortly after, but it was an extremely scary moment.\n\n- When I was maybe 7 or 6 (or younger, memory is fuzzy), my mom pretended to call the police on me because I was acting up. Don't know if this is common, just something I'd thought I'd add.\n\n- My parents once tried to have a \"Bible study on Friday\" type of thing. My parents and I got into an argument since I didn't want to participate in it (I'm not religious, they're Christian). I had told them I didn't want to study the Bible at all, and that was when they figured out I was non religious. They proceeded to conclude that I was doing \"bad things\" on my devices and they made me charge my laptop and phone downstairs from that point on, and banned me from using my laptop in my room. It's been a couple of months since that and they've let me keep my stuff in my room now, but that was an interesting situation.\n\n- My dad used to slap my ass as a \"joke.\" He said it was just playing around. The more I look back upon it now, it was super fucking weird.\n\n- My mom believes that you can get AIDS from touching someone's urine, and that you can get vaccines from autism (yet I've still gotten vaccinated. Weird, I know.) We've gotten into arguments into this many times and she's said stuff like \"the CDC lies, you've been brainwashed,\" etc.\n\n- I'm bisexual, and my parents are vehemently against the LGBTQ+ community. I don't know if they're the type to put someone into conversion therapy, but I have gotten some red flags before. My dad once found gay porn on my phone, and confronted me about it in the car ride to school. He had told me that \"if u are gay, I will send you to gay city and the dogs will eat you\" or something along the lines/similar to that (again, my memory is a bit fuzzy on things like this.) I'm worried that if my parents find out about my sexuality then I will either be suppressed from communication or the Internet, or they'll take far more drastic measures that I honestly don't know.\n\nAgain, I honestly am just dumbfounded as to what to do. In terms of contacts, I've talked to my sister about the situation involving the cameras and some other stuff, and we generally agreed that the cameras were overboard. I don't know if I should approach her with this stuff and ask her for advice, considering that I don't know what her beliefs about certain stuff are, and me and her never really socialized much in the years we lived together, and outside of that. I also have a backup phone that I keep on me almost all the time, which has a SIM with a few megabytes of data I can use to send a few messages or call people if something threatening happens. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.", "post_id": "btiwy3"}, {"question": "The foul-smelling discharge and prescription for metronidazole sound like treatment for bacterial vaginitis, which is unrelated to HPV or cervical cancer. BV isn\u2019t an STI or even really an infection, just an excess of bacteria, which may have been part of a misunderstanding.", "comment": "25 | F | 5\u20192 | 174 lbs | Hispanic\n\nDuration of the complaint: 3 months\n\nGot my rutinary lab tests read yesterday by my gynaecologist, and the results from the pap smear were HPV positive, with severe inflammation. In 2 weeks, I will have a colposcopy performed, to see if any lesions are present. \n\nI\u2018ve been getting regular pap smears performed at least once a year since the age of 21. Had a full gynaecological check up last November, and doc gave me an A+. \n\nAll had been normal until last May, when I started noticing changes in the smell and consistency of my discharge: watery and abundant, sometimes cloudy/clear, sometimes a faint light brown, and a peculiar smell\u2013 not at all fishy, it had more of a certain chemical smell to it, but it was pretty faint, and would come and go. Absolutely no irritation was present, and nothing strange visible on the skin. \n\nHad my period that month, after which the smell no longer seemed to be present. By the end of July, I started noticing the smell again, but more potent, and even more foul smelling, so I scheduled the full checkup. \n\nThese last few weeks in particular, the amount and smell has been so bad, that I've had to shower and change underwear about twice a day, to make it bareable. \n\nCut to yesterday, when doc told me my diagnosis. He prescribed Metronidazole 500 mg, one pill, twice a day for 7 days.\n\nStarted looking for information on HPV and cervical cancer, and from what I've read, my symptoms seem similar to early signs of cervical cancer. However, to have cervical cancer, it seems I would've had to have HPV for years before it got to that point. Yet, all my pap smears and other lab results before November have been A+. \n\nCould my HPV have gone undetected for years? Or is it possible I have been really recently infected, and it just progressed rapidly? \n\nI asked my doc if there was something else that could've explained the discharge consistency and smell, but he said everything else is in order (no other STI\u2019s, etc.). No significant hormonal imbalance either.", "post_id": "cw6mc4"}, {"question": "Bibliotherapy. Get as many books as you can on the things that are bothering you most. \n\nSet goals each day to combat your symptoms somehow. Maybe it is keeping a journal to check your thinking, maybe it is going to a PTSD group or online forum, maybe it is meditation. Do something.\n\nAlso, don't give up on therapy options. Look for sliding fee scale clinics. Universities that have mental health training programs usually offer these, and they are open to the public. Look for any university nearby that has a psychology program, social work, marriage and family therapy, or counseling program.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "21t2gl"}, {"question": "I\u2019m so sorry you went through that. Take your time. Ease your self in. Start by just holding it near your face, but not touching. Do breathing that calms you. Stay that way as long as you can. If you feel ok doing that you can get closer to your face. As soon as you start feeling uncomfortable try to calm with breath and talking yourself through it (or if you have someone to video chat with can have them help).  Keep practicing till you feel ok. Then move it closer holding it on your face. Same thing, work on calming and reassuring yourself (or again have someone help reassure you that you\u2019re safe and ok). Don\u2019t over do it and only do each stage as long as you\u2019re able to (it\u2019s ok to push your boundaries a little each time).  This can take as long as you need it to.  Keep going until you can put the mask on without holding it. Let it rest there as long as feels ok for you. Breathing and calming techniques will be really helpful as you do each stage (before, during, and after).   \n\nOnce you are able to have it all the way on you can try to do things around your home with it on so you get more used to it in a safe space before trying out of your home. When you want to try out of your home wearing, don\u2019t go far, stay near your place so you\u2019re still near your safe zone.  When you feel ready/if you get to the point of being ready try a short trip somewhere (short trip let\u2019s you have a shorter time out with the mask and you have a planned amount of time that you know you will be able to be back home).  Just remember it\u2019s ok if you find you just can\u2019t do it or if it takes longer than you hope/want. Be kind to yourself and be patient.", "comment": "I am having trouble wearing a face mask.  I\u2019ve tried a few different types.  I\u2019m starting to feel like I won\u2019t be able to leave the house until the virus subsided.  \n\nI was assaulted several years ago and it involved being smothered.  I\u2019ve had lots of help since then and I think I do pretty well.  When I put on a face mask I feel like I can\u2019t breathe and I start to panic.  It\u2019s really awful.  \n\nAny advice? I\u2019d really appreciate it.", "post_id": "geylt6"}, {"question": "\nThis was a major emotional part of your life,  so you are the one who has work to do . If you were hurt , overwhelmed,  or exhausted in this relationship,  you can work on this in therapy.\n\nLike other therapists you have talked to , I don't understand what you will get out of understanding her behavior. Even with a perfect,  spot-on diagnosis,  you felt your boundaries were violated and you felt the relationship was toxic . That is the end of her involvement. \n\nLots of patients discuss important others in their lives,  that is fine. The problem is that you can only work on the person IN THE THERAPY ROOM. Anything else is not a good use of time or energy.", "comment": "Hi\n\nI'm posting here because I've been trying to understand a bit about my partner (now ex) and her behaviour.  We dated for about 1 year, she's 35F I'm 33M, we lived 1 hour apart. I've tried to seek answers from therapists but they have (reasonably) not wanted to diagnose at a distance but thats a problem because I feel I do need a professional to help make sense of some of her behaviours. \n\nAbout me\n\nI think I'm kind and sensitive but a touch reserved so its possible that my reserved emotional expression contributed to problems.\n\nPossibly relevant facts:\n\n\\- We lived an hour apart which meant we generally only saw each other at the weekend although we talked every day for an hour, the distance was a constantly cited issue for her\n\n\\- She gave me a book on C-PTSD to read - she had a very poor relationship with her mother during early childhood and did seek on/off therapy for it but rejects the label C-PTSD\n\n\\- We went out for most of 2019, broke up for 3 months (by me) got back together in early 2020 and then broke up again recently\n\nBehaviours I'm having trouble explaining:\n\n\\- both times the relationship started off amazingly well but 'arguments' started emerging around 2 themes, initially a perception I may have been having an affair and that she would only know if I rang her every night but more latterly - a sense that if we weren't talking every night then she didn't feel loved. by about month 3 (both times we went out) the arguments were chronic - something I've never experienced in any of my other relationships) with her seeming to get upset and triggered as the relationship wore on they seemed to happen every 3 days and I became totally emotionally exhausted. A similar pattern occurred the second time we dated. \n\n\\- She had a tendency to bombard with text messages during an argument - it was like tsunami sometimes 30-40 messages even if I hadn't had a chance to reply (such as I was at work)\n\n\\- She was very fixated on putting dates and times to everything, getting very anxious (lots of messages) if it wasn't confirmed, even if she sent the message during the night\n\n\\- I did speak to one counsellor one thought she had textbook BPD, I suggested to her  she may have this and I'd support her and she became extremely angry and said she was totally insulted and that BPD people couldn't hold down a job whereas she was in a high profile job (she is)\n\n\\-She constantly said she didn't feel loved - she suggested things to improve it like saying I love you more (we did) , talking about each day (we did - hour + each day) etc but nothing seemed to quite do it for her. \n\n\\- She was fixated on moving on together - she said it was the only way she could form a stable attachment but I resisted because the relationship both times seemed to be declining with frequency of arguments.\n\n​\n\nWhy am I posting?\n\nIt's been a major emotional part of my life (1 year ) and I really care for her but I felt it was a totally toxic relationship. I would like some suggestions to make sense of her behaviour. From my reading (with the caveats I know very little and the terms are not definitive) it seems a mixture of C-PTSD/attachment and issues with emotional regulation.\n\nI'd like to understand a bit more about her (I have asked her directly but the issue changes) in order to get some understanding and at some point some disclosure.\n\nAny insights or advice would be welcome. I really care for her but had to remove myself from the relationship - Why did she behave the way she did? If she's already had therapy how does she move on?", "post_id": "gpcn44"}, {"question": "I worked with a sponsor in a different 12 step fellowship where I read the step alone, answered questions in a workbook, then talked with her to review my answers and ask any questions I had about anything I read. Later i worked the steps again, this time in AA and with a different sponsor, in the way you are doing - reading the big book out loud together and stopping to discuss and take notes exactly as her sponsor had done with her. After doing both I found the second method to be far superior in terms of helping me really \"get\" the big book. It's an older text from a different time and I would have missed a lot just reading on my own. \n\nI don't say the Lord's prayer, and I don't think anyone should have to if they don't want to. I disagree with the meetings that use it but I recognize their freedom to choose that if they wish.", "comment": "I'm only 35 days clean, so a newbie... I had a \"high bottom\" if you will - started recovery before things got really bad because I saw the writing on the wall. A couple questions...\n\nMy sponsor and I started working together and she is literally reading the big book to me aloud, line by line, having me highlight and make margin notes exactly where her sponsor had her do it. We have gotten through the forwards in the 4th edition :-/\n\nIs this typical of sponsorship? I know a sponsor typically takes sponsees through the steps as they were but this method doesn't feel very useful. Have any of you had a sponsor do it in a different way?\n\nBigger question, we open our sessions with a prayer. The opening prayer is one that isn't related to a specific religion (I think it's made up) and I am comfortable reciting this prayer. We close with the Lord's Prayer. I am extremely uncomfortable with this. I plan to discuss this with her but can I get some feedback on this? I am bothered because it's from a religious text and I have some trauma from a previous Christian experience. AA is not supposed to be religious so I am not sure why I should be asked to recite it.\n\nFinally, what does The Fellowship mean to you? My sponsor said it's the group of members and the sober activities done outside of meetings. Really? \n\nShe only has a year of sobriety and is still working on step 9 with her sponsor. Maybe I should find a new sponsor?\n\nThanks!", "post_id": "7y3h5a"}, {"question": "yes", "comment": "My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for two months now. She's far more attractive than myself, and we're very similar, to a point where we finish each other's sentences. I want it to work so bad for these reasons, which is why I work so hard to continue it. I write her love letters randomly. I send random texts telling her how beautiful she is, or how much I care for her. I give her my very best advice when she texts me about her issues. I initiate all things physical to relive her if the stress of doing so. I bring her gifts often, and I cancel plans to be with her. She on the other hand doesn't do any of this ever in return. No letters, no out of the blue texts, she changes the subject when I bring up problems, Christmas is the only time she's gotten me a gift, never has she just kissed me, and she reschedules plans with me often. Is this normal, or am I in a one sided relationship?    ", "post_id": "5rrh9p"}, {"question": "Ouch.  That's the worst.", "comment": "Dear sis, \n\nI had a lovely time at your wedding. The choice of Long Islands for your 'Recommended drink' at the open bar ensured that everyone had a drunken blast, especially after the bottles of wine that we killed. When the DJ started playing 'Africa' by Toto and the Maid of Honor literally howled (like a wolf) in excitement, I knew this was a treat. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect time, it was fantastic.... but I need to talk to you about my date, Rebecca. \n\nI know. Please, don't interrupt, sis. You've told me a number of times already. \"You don't need to find another girl, Greg,\" you said to me with a slight slur on St. Patrick's Day. Your husband helpfully added: \"Put a ring on it, Greg. You don't need to look anymore.\" All of your friends adore her, as they've told me like a billion times. \n\nAnd yes. Rebecca IS a keeper. She's absolutely drop dead gorgeous; her curves run into that perfect hourglass shape that you see on models. And the best part? She fucking rocks. She has the most inappropriately vulgar sense of humor that, well, to be honest, matches with mine perfectly. She has a deep throated laugh that infects a room and seems completely unbecoming of such a beautiful and petite dirty blonde. All in all, you're right. She is pretty perfect for me. \n\nExcept, there's this one little thing. \n\nShe's a lesbian, sis. \n\nI know. She told the best man that \"We had been secretly dating for three years.\" Sis, she was HAMMERED. Like, absolutely smashed. We had shared a bottle of wine between the two of us, not counting those long islands... she always was a bit mischievous. And I thought it was hilarious at the time... but not anymore. The family keeps asking me about her sis and so do your friends. And I'm sorry but it's not funny now. It's just sad.\n\nYou see the other thing? I do love her. I absolutely love the shit out of her. I love spending time with her and talking to her. I love drinking with her, and watching TV with her. When I'm with her, it's like the empty puzzle pieces in my brain are filled in with fuzzy spots of happy. We match. \n\nThat's how it is, sis. I'm sorry. She fills all my gaps but I can't ever fill hers. Please stop asking about her. Some things are better left alone. \n\nWith love, \n\nYour brother", "post_id": "1oko5e"}, {"question": "Klinefelter syndrome can range from completely without symptoms to significant. Lower height would be one of the most common; being 6'1\" doesn't absolutely rule out Klinefelter, but it's unlikely.\n\nIf you want a definitive answer, a karyotype (counting chromosomes) is straightforward and will give you that answer. I suspect that you do not have Klinefelter syndrome.", "comment": "Hi. I am 27, white, and have some symptoms consistent with Kleinfelter. I read somewhere that I cannot remember that Kleinfelter makes beard around month and thin less feasable. Well I let my beard grow and it looks very beardless in those places. I am from Boise. Height is 6 feet 1. Weight like 160 lbs.\n\u200bhttps://imgur.com/a/0YDOpJw", "post_id": "f8ts18"}, {"question": "I understand how you feel.  I feel the same way.   Don\u2019t give up. ", "comment": "I would give up everything, for just moments of peace. Everything and every last bit of my time and energy. For just one second of quiet. ", "post_id": "9nv47g"}, {"question": "it's hard to stay together when you start young. he sounds not ready to settle down.", "comment": "Hey guys, I wanted your advice.\n\nI've been with my BF for almost 8 years now, since high school. I thought he was the love of my life and a genuine all-around good guy. Throughout our relationship we've had good and bad times, but still mainly great times. I love him a lot.\n\nHowever, on our 3rd year anniversary, he confesses that he went into a strip club. Supposedly for only 15 minutes and under the duress of his brother and cousin. Then last year, he caught feelings for his co-worker. Someone he had been bringing around me, acting like they were friends when really they were both emotionally cheating on their significant others (this girl also had a BF). This all accumulated into him kissing her and supposedly suddenly realizing he only wanted me.\n\nThen this last December, before Christmas, I found Facebook messages between my BF and his cousin's GF. Turns out they caught feelings for each other and had been messaging each other like crazy. But supposedly they \"loved\" their BF/GF so much that they were just going to pretend like things never happened.  ", "post_id": "5msdqx"}, {"question": "This is not quite the question you asked, but have you spoken to your doctor about the overdose?  I'm not sure if this is a new thing for you, or something that has happened before, but it sounds like you may also need some support around your mood?  Apologies if you have already taken care of this, just wanted to put it out there.", "comment": "I took 2500mg last Friday but then I panicked and didn\u2019t go through with it. I induced vomiting and was suffering from stomach pain and my menstrual cramps after were worse than normal. Is it safe to take one tablet for it?\n\n5\u20195\u201d, 151 pounds and 18F\n\nMedical history: bipolar disorder, mild brain damage due to suffocation at 11, nut and dairy allergy ", "post_id": "8pfbfv"}, {"question": "Go you. Booze is so far from the treats we deserve. I think we are all aware of that....whatever our crazy brains try to tell us sometimes. ", "comment": "I told myself that on **Day 70** I would treat myself. I won't, I'll treat the children who had to put up with my drunken nonsense! So today I'll nip to the shop on the way home and fill a basket with their favourite things (not too much, mind)\n\nMe? I'll have an early night with a good book and a mug of Horlicks :D", "post_id": "9evjxz"}, {"question": "It's all normal. Nothing there to explain fatigue.", "comment": "Anything that jumps out at anyone who knows what they're looking at?\n\n22 Y/O Active male whos a healthy weight\n\n[https://gyazo.com/89bb4ffe60827333c38254e5c7bbd4b8](https://gyazo.com/89bb4ffe60827333c38254e5c7bbd4b8)\n\n[https://gyazo.com/685747fea1dc9348482cab8b63c138ad](https://gyazo.com/685747fea1dc9348482cab8b63c138ad)  \n\n\n[https://gyazo.com/988425cab25c9b8e5d9566d4a0820065](https://gyazo.com/988425cab25c9b8e5d9566d4a0820065)", "post_id": "94221n"}, {"question": "To be confident you either have to accept yourself, and thus like yourself, or change in ways that *allow* you to like and accept yourself.  We have no choice; we can only be ourselves....the old us, or the new us.", "comment": "I (F25) have been married to my husband (M25) for a year. \n\nSince our relationship started I have put on weight, I am 5'2\" and almost 160lb. The more weight I put on the less attractive and confident I feel. He has also put on weight (6'5, 300lbs) and I'm not sure if I find him as physically attractive. \n\nThe physical attraction doesn't really bother me too much, I find him sexy in other ways. I also love his squishy belly.\n\nThe issue I have run into is that I feel self conscious being top during sex. To the point of him doing all the work all the time. I feel bad, and ask him if he gets bored. He says he doesn't but I'm not sure. \n\nI want to do my share in taking control in the bedroom. Let him relax and have fun but I just can't. Once I get up there I don't know what to do..\n\nHe has way more experience sexually than I do, and I do feel intimidated by that but there has to be something to help me get over it.\n\nAnyone have advice on how to build confidence in a situation like this? \n\nI feel like a terribly inexperienced, unattractive wife and it's turning me off...", "post_id": "69c5g8"}, {"question": "You follow your countrys advice on your symptoms.", "comment": "Hi everyone! I am 28 years old, male, 180 lbs, 6' tall, and non-smoking.\n\nFirst of all, my PhD defense is next Wednesday (in six days). It was extremely difficult to set this time up with my committee members, and it's possible that it's the last opportunity I'll have this semester with all of their travel, as well as coronavirus concerns quickly shutting down several functions at our University. In addition, I have a job lined up to start directly after this semester ends so postponing it another semester is not really an option either. \n\nAnyway, for the last two weeks I have literally locked myself in my house to study and prepare for my defense. I occasionally go to the campus to meet with my advisor, but there no known coronavirus cases in my city. I have been definitely anal about NOT getting sick the last week - I'm washing my hands every 30-60 minutes, taking 6 eccinasia per day, and drinking 2 airbornes every day, because I absolutely could NOT get sick for my defense. Especially considering I just recently got over a cold about 3 weeks ago!\n\nHowever, today I woke up with a cough that won't quite go away, and more mucus in my throat that is coming out yellow. Am I totally screwed? Do I need to plan alternative actions? \n\nIs it possible that I'm either not getting sick, or that it'll be over before next Wednesday, or that I can do anything at all to hold it at bay until after my defense?\n\nTLDR: PhD defense in 6 days, but starting to get sick today, despite being overly cautious after getting over a cold three weeks ago. What do I do?!", "post_id": "fhisby"}, {"question": "You've experience some sort of trauma in your past that still has effects today. None of us here on the internet can diagnose you with anything, but you may have some symptoms similar to PTSD or generalized anxiety. Your psychiatrist will be able to assess you properly, get to know you, and know what the best options are for you. Regardless of diagnosis though, you definitely experienced a lot of harm in the past, and just know that you're not alone in the feelings you're experiencing now. I'm happy you're getting the help you need soon.", "comment": "Does this sound familiar to anybody?\n\nMy main issue is I totally take things to heart that upset me and I can\u2019t regulate my reactions to it. Issues I\u2019ve gone through like racism, school bullying/exclusion, trauma etc. And although I no longer really \u201cgo through it\u201d ANYTIME I see the issue brought up or reminded of it I get distressed, depressed and suicidal.\n\nI guess I used to cope because I used to be highly confident in my abilities and I genuinely believed that by the time I died, I would have done something influential regarding social justice changes in the world. Once I graduated school, I had my dreams crushed. So I kinda lost my only coping method.\n\nSo now I\u2019m stuck in a paradox where I: get reminded of a cruel reality I can\u2019t change > reminds me of my past, or things happening in the present > I now know I can\u2019t do anything to remedy or fix it and I\u2019m stuck in a world full of shit essentially > get into emotional distress > see no solution or effective coping mechanism > get suicidal > eventually calm down (usually by sleeping/oversleeping) > REPEAT\n\nAny form of conflict with somebody will trigger the same cycle. Even friendly debates trigger me into feeling depressed. No idea why.\n\nI\u2019m seeing a psychiatrist soon for a professional\ndiagnosis but I\u2019m just wondering if people know what this may be and what type of therapy helps it? I\u2019m 18, been slowly getting worse since 12 years old, no history of family abuse that I remember (except harsh words and occasional spanks ig). People have guessed BPD in the past but aside from devaluing, I don\u2019t think I have any issues with relationships or attachments at all. And I internalise everything anyways.", "post_id": "e6jz5x"}, {"question": "It sounds like depression, but more severe than it was before. The difficulty with depression is that we don't really have good ways to diagnose the different processes in the brain that give rise to it. We can only recognize the symptoms and hope that it will respond to treatment, and there isn't really a better way than trying medications that often work and hoping that you're in the group that improves. Luvox, Zoloft, and amitriptyline are fine choices. Augmenting with Wellbutrin or Abilify makes sense. I'm sorry it hasn't worked. There's genetic testing available to try to guide medications, but the jury is still out on how helpful that is.\n\n The way you describe it, things were getting worse, you started taking Wellbutrin, and things kept getting worse and have stayed worse, with or without the Wellbutrin. From your timeline I'm less inclined to blame the medication and leaning more towards this being some change in the depression, although of course there's no way to truly know.\n\nAfter multiple medications didn't work, it's \"treatment\\-resistant depression.\" For one thing, there are treatments other than what you've used. SNRIs, for example. Thyroid hormone, buspirone, lithium, lamotrigine. TMS or eventually ECT, if you choose. It's miserable to have to go through multiple treatments, but you're far from exhausting everything. Explain the story so far to your psychiatrist and hopefully you can move forward and find something that will help you feel better.", "comment": "This is a rather long story but I need to say it all so you can get my mindset. Back in November 2017, I was having trouble coping with things in my life, so when I went to see my doctor for a refill for my luvox, she increased the dosage (The luvox I've been taking for six years for depression, anxiety and OCD), as well as starting me on wellbutrin. The next few days though, after I started these changes, I became increasingly sad and started having depressing thoughts concerning death and aging. I guess about four days after I started the wellbutrin, this increasing sadness culminated in a full-blown panic attack (The first I've ever had), in which I was convinced I ruined my life, my life was a waste, I had to spend as much time with the people I knew before they died (which felt really soon), that I felt extremely old (I'm 29), my mother was going to pass away very soon (she's 63), and I became just overall absolutely TERRIFIED of death. I had NEVER felt this way towards death and aging in my life. At most, I was disappointed that I didn't look young anymore. That's it. I used to feel like I had all the time in the world, and death seemed so far away, and I handled the passings of friends and family members just how everyone else does. Not anymore after my panic attack.I called up my old counselor and scheduled an appointment. She told me to speak to my doctor. By the time I got around to seeing my doctor again (About a week after I started the wellbutrin), the thoughts had become so intense and debilitating that I had, for the first time, wanted to end my life just to stop the pain. It was that bad. With my doctor's urging, I went to the ER of the hospital next door. There, I met a doctor, who brought me further into the hospital where eventually I met a psychotherapist. She said I was going to have to go to a psychiatric hospital while I felt suicidal (I'm about 99% convinced I would've been committed if I had said no, but that's beside the point).So, I was in the hospital for a couple weeks. No one there diagnosed me with anything or really brought up a solution to my problem of getting rid of those thoughts; they were mainly concerned with helping us patients cope with the events in our lives that brought us there. But for me, of course, it wasn't a life event so much as a pharmaceutical fuck-up. The most anyone did was one of the psychiatrists try starting me on abilify since he didn't want to try another anti-depressant. The abilify gave me energy and made me optimistic, but it did nothing about my thoughts, and I still felt like my life was a waste up to that point. I didn't feel like myself at all. But I did feel hopeful and not suicidal anymore, so I was let go.The next few months were kind of a blur. I had a new energy but I was still haunted by these thoughts. I forget why, but at some point I stopped taking the abilify, and I lost that energy and hopefulness, but the intensity of the thoughts receded. I felt like myself again, with the lessened intensity of the thoughts. It seemed like a good enough trade-off. In February, after being forced to wait over a month because of high demand or whatever, I finally started seeing a psychiatrist as part of the out-patient therapy. My thoughts had gone to the back of my head, since things in my real life were taking precedent. My psychiatrist was helpful with the handling of these matters.But once they were taken care of, I realized I still wasn't happy, I still wasn't hopeful, and I still wasn't  fully myself. Because those thoughts were still there. I told her about this in our last meeting at the end of April, and in hindsight I don't think she quite understood what I was trying to say. She kept talking about how depression and its causes, but what happened to me wasn't really depression-related I dont think. She started me on zoloft and gave me a mild anxiety agent, but after three weeks of taking them, I felt no change at all aside from decreased sex drive.So last week, when I realized what she gave me wasn't working and I still wasn't anywhere close to getting better, I started feeling panicky and hopeless, so I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor (I'm never seeing the one who started this mess again) since I'd have to wait three weeks to see my psychiatrist again. Basically, all he did was tell me to stop taking the zoloft and the anxiety agent since they weren't working (And I've done so) and give me amitriptyline, since the only antipsychotic he could prescribe as a family doctor, seroquel, would interact with the luvox I still need to take. So far I've felt no change with the amitriptyline.\n\nSo this is why I'm here. Not a SINGLE person I've spoken to in this entire process has diagnosed me, told me exactly what's wrong, or given me a solid treatment plan to get better. I still have no idea, over half a year later, what went wrong or how I can get better. Not a clue. All anyone has ever done was refer me to someone else, or try throwing a random medication at me to see if it would \"do the job\". Not one person has stepped forward to actually do the work to help me get better. In hindsight, I don't think my psychiatrist has any idea what I'm trying to say after numerous attempts of trying to tell her, I think she thinks I'm 'merely' depressed and sad about mortality, which isn't really the case at all. I've had 29 years to develop my feelings on these things, and the terrorizing feelings that have been played in my head since November aren't them. They're exhausting, irrational and terrifying, and I'm desperate to go back to normal. And I've talked about this to SO many people, friends and family, and also try rationalizing in my head what I want to think and feel, but none of that works, so please don't recommend counseling, I'm very certain this is past that and its a psychiatric issue. Some of my normal thinking does comes through here and there, usually for a few minutes. Last week there was about half an hour where I felt 90% normal again, and I was able to think about these things rationally, but that soon subsided. I did sort-of feel a little like myself the first day after starting the amitriptyline, but not fully so, like I did for that half an hour last week. And the next day it was back to the terror as usual. So please, anyone reading this, please tell me what you think is wrong and what you think can help me. I of course will be seeing my psychiatrist again in two weeks, and will fully go by her recommendations and instructions, but I just need SOMETHING to hold me over in the meantime, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. I'm so utterly disappointed in the medical \"professionals\" I've seen since November in their lack of knowledge, confidence and comfort in treating me and my condition (whatever it is). I just need a ray of hope right now to try and get me through this, because this isn't living. I just want my life back.\n\nRequired info:  I'm 29, 5'4, 169 pounds, male, never smoked. Before November, only suffered from diagnosed depression, anxiety, OCD and mild autism.\n\n7/20/2018 UPDATE: Well as it turns out the wellbutrin brought on psychosis by increasing my dopamine levels, it actually isn't that complicated what happened to me, I just had to find the right doctor who would listen to me and take me seriously. I'm almost 100% back to the way I was taking anti-psychotics. I'll just leave this here if if this happens to anyone in the future. And people, if something a doctor or who you're confiding with says just doesn't sound right, keep searching until you find someone who will say something that does. Doctors aren't infallible.", "post_id": "8n53yj"}, {"question": "Well done. Onwards and upwards.", "comment": "I\u2019m so proud, I\u2019ve got my one month chip from AA, I\u2019m still on track for 90 meetings in 90 days, and I\u2019ve even been asked to do peer mentoring at the local drug and alcohol centre!\n\nI can\u2019t quite believe the changes that have taken place in me and in my life in such a short space of time, it\u2019s been like a whirlwind. I will never know why Monday 21st May 2018 was the day I decided enough was enough, but I can only have faith that my life is meant to take a better path than the one I was on for 20+ years. It\u2019s a rollercoaster, and I\u2019ve got a long journey ahead of trying to deal with my emotions now, but a bad day sober is better than any day drinking.\n\nKeep going everyone, we\u2019ve got this! IWNDWYT XX", "post_id": "8sqjjd"}, {"question": "I find that taking regular breaks helps. Usually, I do this by going to the bathroom and washing my hands while singing a little song to myself (not out loud!). It gives me a physically calming stimulus (soap feels fun and bubbles are fun to play with and I like warm water) along with prohealth behavior (washing hands prevents spread of disease), and is discrete (nobody thinks it\u2019s weird to go to the bathroom for 5 min).\n\nObviously do something different if you have a historical problem with compulsive handwashing or dislike bathrooms. I don\u2019t advocate for cigarettes, but I absolutely believe in going for fake smoke breaks.", "comment": "I don't really like being out for long periods of time in a social setting my wife says it's about three hours max before I start to get anxious or annoyned and by then I kinda just put my walls up and shut down from Whatever is going on around me Thankfully my wife understands that Ive been like this since I was a kid but seeing as we're both in our early twenties and having a large group of friends it's hard to try and balance going out and doing stuff without shutting down as time goes on even if Im having fun Idk does anyone have any tips or been through anything similar?", "post_id": "ch8sv1"}, {"question": "1. Cola, orange juice, and all other beverages contain water. Lots of water.\n2. H2O is too small a molecule to be recognized as a foreign material by the body. Regardless of whether it would be instantly lethal, and it would, it's biologically impossible. Antigens, the molecules or pieces of molecules recognized by the immune system, are on the order of 10 times larger than water molecules at minimum.\n3. This is a silly tabloid story with no grounding in reality. It's on the same level of plausibility as alien abductions. Less, really; we can't prove that aliens didn't come, but we can definitely know that this situation is impossible and is, at best, a gross misunderstanding of allergies and the symptoms someone has.\n4. Please stop posting about this over and over. You get the same response every time.", "comment": "I read on the news about a woman who says she's deathly allergic to H2O. She looked to be in her 40's.\n\nShe says she cannot even drink a SIP of water without going into anaphylactic shock and even goes on to say she cries herself to sleep every night.\n\nShe says that she can only drink orange juice or coca-cola (which do her no harm) since they have no water in them and now lives life happily despite not drinking any water. She is also on disability and another one of her press photos is of her holding a bucket of epi-pens. She says she just suddenly became allergic to water one night.\n\nI mean you can be allergic to peanuts so why not H2O? I remember I was seeing a new ''I'm allergic to H2O so bad even taking a sip of water will kill me'' every month on sites like the Daily Mail especially. I've seen science channels on YouTube say it's possible to be allergic to the H2O molecule in itself and you can suddenly become allergic, just like how people can suddenly become allergic to peanuts.\n\nI've even seen the Daily Mail articles get referenced on government based medical websites such as the national biomedical website, saying in more severe cases even drinking a sip of water will be dangerous for them. These people also say that water in the skin causes them to come out in rashes and they posted the photos of these rashes. There's a condition called Aquagenic Urticaria but it doesn't say it's from H2O itself, but water causing a water soluble allergen on the skin to dissolve so it's a substance on their skin they're reacting to not the water. But it doesn't explain these people who also say they cannot even drink a sip of water without needing an epi-pen to save their life.\n\nA guy said his teacher was allergic to water though there were numerous occasions when we saw her have an allergic reaction? She wasn't allergic to the water in her body. She only had a reaction when she drank some. She would be fine if she mixed it with Orange juice or Grape Juice. As long as it wasn't plain water.", "post_id": "8w0q82"}, {"question": "First, in the US and many other locales, Asperger's syndrome is no longer diagnosed. I would not let a doctor who is unaware of that diagnose me. \n\nAsperger's syndrome has been absorbed into autism spectrum disorder.  This disorder has very specific criteria, not just a list of traits to check off. Many of the traits people often associate with Asperger's are not part of the criteria.  \n\nYou can see the criteria here:\n\nhttp://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html?mobile=nocontent\n\nDiagnosis also requires a severity rating which can range from less than 1 (but not zero) to 3. \n\nAlso, diagnosis is not really useful if you are a functional adult that does not want to be diagnosed.  And, like a previous commenter stated,  therapy can help you feel better whether you have a diagnosis or not. Most therapists don't even like to diagnose if they don't have to. \n", "comment": "So my wife suspected that I have Aspergers since a long time. Three days ago we went to see a psychologist regarding major depression. My wife told them about my awkwardness at a recent party and that she doesn't think that I am actually shy. She also told him that I like to program, even after my day-job (programming) is done, and I can spend hours of it. Additionally to it I mentioned that I had suspected elective mutism, when young. \n\nSo hearing all that the doctor mentioned, that I might have Aspergers, even though my wife didn't mention her suspicion to him. \n\nThinking back about my past, not liking to be touched, always only have one or two friends through all years of school, exclusively talking about things and not about persons, it all started to make sense to me. \n\nPersonally I didn't have the feeling that I cannot read faces, but according to my wife I often fail to interpret her real emotion whereas others could have easily read it. \n\nAlso I like being ironic sometimes and I tend to understand irony, too. \n\nAt social occasions I often simply don't know what to shy, even though being well aware of conversations around me. My wife said when hearing them tell something funny I make some smile, but it rather looks like a fake smile. Also often I bore her with keep talking about the same thing for a long time, when she already lost interest. \n\nSo I have some very typical symptoms, also I wouldn't consider myself as shy but just usually I thought I simply don't know what to say or wasn't interested in the topic.\n\nAlso I realized that I really like to count my steps when walking, or seeing patterns on the floor and walk in patterns (sometimes) and often look at license plates of cars. I sometimes try to remember them, or try to see where cars are from, without any intention. \n\nAlso I liked to make online friends and could happily chat with them all day, but then in real life I wouldn't find a single topic or interest in people. \n\nEven though my irony, understanding jokes, and other things don't seem to be issues of mine. \n\nMy wife said probably the doctor wouldn't have mentioned that I have Aspergers if he wasn't quite sure about it. Even though it was only the second time I met that doctor and each meeting was not longer than 20 minutes.\n\nSo I wonder if I really do have Aspergers. Any opinions?\n", "post_id": "25jrol"}, {"question": "Distance yourself from him like a majestic dragon distances itself from the soul sucking gravity of earth. ", "comment": "I may seem really petty saying this, but petty is my middle name and i gotta vent it out. \n\nmy ex and i recently broke up and hes doing things specifically to try and impress me to try and go out again. (note: the breakup was very healthy and there were no fights or yelling or anything like that. we are still friends)\n\nlike i said that i was going to get my haircut done in a undercut and i was really really excited to change up my hair style(ive had the same haircut for 6 years) but then he gets it cut as an undercut three days after i said that. now it would be kinda awkward to go to school with the same haircut as your ex. also he was planning on growing it out for years and having really long hair. cutting it was something out of the ordinary for him. and yeah i know that people can change, but this was JUST after i had said that and JUST after we broke up ((i actually feel pretty bad about this. i really wanted to cut my hair and this kinda ruined it. that sounds mean but ehhhh i dont even know anymore))\n\nive also gotten into flight rising, which is a site similarish to neopets but with dragons and i said 'i love dragons' and he said the most run on-forced thing ive ever heard my entire life...he said something along the lines of \"i love dragons. they are the best. if i had to choose a favorite mythological creature it would be dragons. i love them, they are the best. i would own lots of dragons\" ....and it went on. it felt SO forced and its hard to explain but it just didnt feel right or sincere\n\nalso another thing out of the ordinary is that he changed his username online. maybe he thinks that it would be more interesting and ill go out with him again but i just cant force romantic feelings for him. keep in mind that hes had the same username for the past 10 YEARS. so its kinda really suspicious\n\ni could be overthinking things but i need help on what to do. how do i confront him on this, or should i even confront him? is this something i should ignore or talk to him about it? i still wanna be his friend but i cant be romantically/sexually invested in him anymore. \n\nalso does anybody know whats even going on? i tend to overthink things alot and i dont know if hes still not over me...or if its something else\n", "post_id": "6aamb2"}, {"question": "He needs a therapist. When his depression resolves, hopefully the rel. will become what you hope it has the potential to be.", "comment": "We've been together for over four years now and I know that he's been going through a lot of tough times within the last year. From parents getting divorced to troubles with getting his degree to ending up in unfulfilling jobs, his troubles have wrapped him in a tough bout of depression that he's trying to get help for. He's taking medication for about four months now and we've seen some improvements, although he still has a lot of problems to still fix and I'm always supportive in whatever steps he wants to take in order to make himself happy. From quitting jobs for better opportunities to getting instruments so that he could play music as a form of creative release. Whatever he needed, I've been totally there for him. \n\nWe lived together for a year under his parents roof until his parents decided to sell the house and finalize their divorce. At that point the logical choice was to move in together. We had been together for three years prior and while in the house we had been romantic, but respectful. We had our sexy nights, but we weren't romping around like rabbits. Anyways, when we got into our new place this all changed.\n\nIn the year that we've been in our new apartment, we've maybe had sex a handful of times. I want to blame it on all of the anxiety and stresses of work family and his desire to finish college. I understand that his medication does have the potential to reduce sexual drive. I also understand that depression is also a very crippling condition that can alter ones ability to \"get in the mood\". But it's been six months now, and I'm at my whits end. I have tried talking to him about my desires, my needs and when I do I'm met with almost condescension. He teases me, saying \"oh, you're just horny\" As if it's just a passing feeling that I can just toss aside. \n\nHe's making me feel bad for even asking, like I'm pressuring him to do something that he can't mentally validate. Which doesn't make sense that our coupling is a problem now when he had no problem with it before. I asked if he even wanted me anymore, if he even was attracted to me and he says that he is. And its getting to the point that I have a hard time believing him. I've told him not to idly touch me anymore, because I'm so sexually pent up that it hurts to get my hopes up when it doesn't amount to anything. \n\nI don't want him to do something he's obviously having conflict with, but at the same time I'm left here hanging. Ya, his feelings are being addressed, but what about mine?\n\nThe worst part is that I wish that I didn't have to bother him with my needs. I wish my body wasn't drawn to his. I wish I could turn it off, because it seems to only cause us this tension that is quickly filling with heartbreak. \n\nSo what should I do about this? I'm a loyal creature, so I'd never dream of cheating on him and I don't fancy just washing my hands of him in favor of some other guy. I want to help him get better, but I also want him to understand that our relationship isn't just about him getting what he can out of it. I need a little more from him than a peck on the cheek.\n\ntl;dr Long term relationship, girl not getting any and boy fighting depression. \n\n", "post_id": "5q0txy"}, {"question": "Is she... sick or something?  Sounds too weird to be true.", "comment": "I am tired. So fucking tired of this roommate of mine. She has lived with me for 2 months and it has been a living hell the entire time. I hate to even be awake when she's awake. I need to make a list of all the things I dislike about her in hopes that it will help me feel a bit better. Here we go. \n\n* Odd sleeping schedule. She will stay up until like 7AM and then get up at like freakin 5PM. She works from home (if you call it work she makes like 10 dollars a day) so she can work whenever but the fact that my lights are on 24/7 because of her weird ass sleep schedule annoys me. Which leads to my next complaint. \n\n* She is driving all my bills up. I took on a roommate so I could save money for a new car. This chick takes 45 minute showers, leaves lights and her pc on 24/7. She is wasteful when it comes to food as well but she has food stamps so that's her problem I guess. But anyone who will open a thing of lunch meat and then sniff it the next day to make sure it's still good is really fucking stupid. You JUST opened it. Doesn't matter though because she'll throw it away after it's been open for just 24 hours. Ridiculous. \n\n* She's really dumb. Like not intelligent at all. She's 30 years old and doesn't know how to do basic things like open a bank account, use the washer/dryer, use the oven, cook a hamburger. Things that are really common sense. She's just not book smart as well. Her vocabulary is very limited. However...\n*  She talks ALL THE TIME. She comments on the smallest thing my cats do, what's going on outside. She can't just tell a story she has to drag it out for like 5 minutes. Everything is funny to her. I can't have a conversation with anyone else in my house without her butting in. I'm NOT talking to you! Why are you putting in your two cents?!\n* She's lazy. The only thing she will do is dishes when I write on the board that it's her turn. She will not wipe down a kitchen counter, clean the bathroom (her hair is all over my bathroom sink right now and the bathroom trash is running over with her 200 pads/panty liners). It's like she's not going to do anything until I tell her to. I'm not her mother so this thought pisses me off so badly.\n\n* She thinks it's okay to just not have rent on time. She has the money to pay her part of rent right now but she thinks she should have a few more days to make more money so she doesn't have to spend what she has now. Tomorrow will not be pleasant for her because I'm going to demand she give me all the money she owes or she's out the door. She will sit at her computer on Facebook or tumblr all day but she won't make her goals with her job. \n\n* She has no goals for the future. She just mooches off me and the government. She lived with her parents until the age of 30 and is just content with her food stamps, no driver license and 10 dollar a day job. When I kick her out (which will happen in the next few months I'm sure) she'll go right back to living with her parents and doing nothing all day long.\n\n* She sits at her desk and stares at me. I feel like when I'm in the same room with her she has a damn staring problem. It's creepy though there are more pressing issues than that. It's just annoying.\n\n* Back to the food. She will use my food without asking. She went through 3 gallons of milk by herself in less than a month. That is insane to me. I don't get food stamps so that is coming out of my pocket. \n\n* She goes through a 24 pack of toilet paper in a week. I have stopped sharing it with her because of this. She currently has half a roll that I so graciously let her have until she gets more. \n\n* She NEVER leaves the house. She is either sleeping or sitting in front of her computer. Never even goes out on the porch or anything. \n\nSigh. I'm sure there are a ton of other things I can't stand but that's all I can think of right now that stands out.", "post_id": "221pws"}, {"question": "Therapy is all about the relationship between therapist and client.  I happen to be one.  What matters is that you feel comfortable with them. ", "comment": "It took me a while to get to the point where I can ask for help, and I'm worried about going to therapy and all.\nI just want to know if anyone has advice about finding a therapist that you will know is good (right now I am doing searches online and such).\n\nI'm just a little worried because I heard about people going from therapist to therapist. Maybe if there is someone who can give me some headers about therapy?", "post_id": "931e3u"}, {"question": "Thankfully- HIV is pretty hard to transmit. Even if your friend had been HIV infected- that casual contact you had wouldn't put you at risk. Basically- she would have to be positive with an open cut, and touch you in an area where you have a fresh cut- and even then it isnt likely to transmit.\n\nInstead of googling diseases, maybe you should google a good local therapist?", "comment": "I'm an OCD sufferer with a horrible amount of anxiety around my fear of contracting HIV. I've had the fear for a couple of years now. It comes and goes based on situations I feel I'm at risk. I was at a party last night and I did a hit from a joint and afterwards I realized my friend who passed me it had a little dried blood on her fingers from a cut. I immediately began having that stomach turning feeling and thought, oh god what if she has it and I got it? She did a hit before me and I was second in the circle.\n\nLater that night my panic attack set in and I told her my fear and told me she's clean etc and calmed me down. She is a good friend of mine and she definitely isn't someone who sleeps around or anything.\n\nI just wanted to ask for a little help and reassurance (I hope) and maybe some info on how likely it would be that transmission would happen etc. if I start googling I'll send myself into another panic attack. Help me reddit. :( I feel pretty alone in this.", "post_id": "s9ief"}, {"question": "Diet pills make me shaky and laxatives dehydrate.\nI would only take them if a doctor advises it. \n\nWhat I do personally is take my doctor-prescribed medication for appetite control and take Metamucil OTC.", "comment": "Is it okay to take both laxatives and diet pills? If not had anyone taken diet pills? If so, how have they affected you. Did they suppress your appetite, or make you sick? Just asking what people\u2019s experiences have been with diet pills", "post_id": "htz7f2"}, {"question": "Regular smoking before age 16 is about the only time you can do real, permanent damage. Sounds like you haven't gotten there yet though. Just give it time. 100% sober time though because you want your brain to get used to not expecting the high, not just the percentage of time not high. ", "comment": "Hey guys.\n\nSo I've probably smoked weed about 20-25 times max in the last 6 months, never more than 2-3 cones as I'm a soft cock mostly over the Christmas/January holidays, and gotten drunk about a dozen in the last year Between Christmas and mid-late December I suffered sleep deprivation, and when I got out of it I thought it had left me with permanent effects.\n\nAnyway a couple weeks ago I was taking to my uncle in-law who's an expert on sleep. I explained my symptoms and as soon as my mother left the room he asked how much dope I'd been smoking.\n\nI'd felt quiet, slow, unmotivated, unenthusiastic, and just in general felt really dumb.\n\nWhat I couldn't wrap my head around is that all of my mates who had started experimenting with weed/alcohol around the same time frame had experienced absolutely no changes. We're all pretty smart people who get A's/B's in school (grade ten Australia), literally most people in my grade at my large school would have smoked as much as me. I told my uncle this and he said people react differently, but how can I reach this differently?\n\nI was a pretty smart kid, now I feel like I have to put effort in to get a B. I do feel a lot better since I stopped, although I slipped up last weekend so I've had 2 cones in 25 days, stupidly got drunk on Friday. Other than that been sober. \n\nWill I regain my cognitive capabilities? My memory just doesn't feel the same. It darkens me that I may have ruined my entire future over a few seshes with my mates. \n\nShould I undergo some memory exercises? Or maybe even get an MRI or other brain scans to see if it's something else, I mean the time frame makes it plausible to say it's from weed/alcohol, but how can this be possible for not an excessive amount of use.\n\nWriting this at 11:23 on a school night. I'm rattled and I can't stop thinking about it.\n\nAre these effects going to be permanent?\n\nHelp me reddit.", "post_id": "b4vtsb"}, {"question": "DV Therapist here.\n\nGreat job with the restraining order. Above all else, you need to stick to a safety plan. 3 places you can go if he's at your home, and safe contacts like friends and family. If he ever breaks the restraining order don't feel afraid to notify the police. Get ready to document and record anything. Continue working on appropriate barriers between you and the abusive partner to make sure you have a healthy, distant relationship with him.\n\nAnd that's awesome that you're in treatment. DV treatment is all about taking control of your life back. Your abusive partner took away your power and control through his abusive behaviors, and it takes time to gain that control back. Allow yourself to feel emotions, and continue to recognize the ways he was abusive. You're fully capable of moving past the abuse, I promise you. It just takes time.\n\nYou're already past the hardest part. Good luck!", "comment": "My ex boyfriend and I dated for four years, we broke up about a year ago. He was emotionally abusive, as well as sexually abusive. I had woken up with him inside of me, continuing after saying no. *[I was raised in a abusive household, where my mother was also abused so I didn't think I there was anything wrong with the way my ex boyfriend treated me.]* My ex boyfriend, put me down a lot and isolated me from my friends and family. I had tried to break up with him, but he manipulated me into staying on more than one occasion. He would be angry and jealous about me spending time with my friends, and would insist to go with. However, my friends would decline or cancel plans with me when they found out about his attendance. My friends expressed concern but I was deluded enough at the time to believe I loved him and he loved me. When I was finally able to break up with him, I told him we were broken up, but we could talk about things in a week-like where we stand (friends or not), he agreed. However, I became quickly attacked with endless phone calls and text messages. When I wouldn't engage his behavior at first, he showed up at my house unannounced, banging on my door. He has reason for this trip, he was dropping my personal items off on my porch, but then insisted I HAD to tell him why we broke up, and that he DESERVED an explanation. I told him he needed to leave my property. He did but only to return five minutes later. He was banging on the door again, telling me I OWED it to him. I told him he needed to leave, I was home alone and half asleep-as he had woken me from a dead sleep. I was scared and sent him away, hoping he wouldn't return. He returned once more, conveniently to drop off more of my personal belongings. Still angry and insisting I have to speak with him. *I never let him in the house- we have a locked screen door and a wooden door, I cracked open the wooden door to speak to him only*. I told him this time if he returned to my property the police would be called. I was petrified to leave my house anywhere alone. But the threat of the police kept him away for the moment. He still continued to harass me through electronic communication, going between \"I love you come back\" to \"I am the only one that cares about you, no one else loves you\". He asked my mom, and more than one of my friends to speak to me on his behalf for forgiveness. I told him if he didn't leave me and my family alone I would get a restraining order, and things seemed quiet for a little bit. It wasn't until he HAPPENED to show up at the same place I did, that I realized it wasn't that simple. He claimed it was coincidence. Later, his best friend confronted me, providing me text messages between him and my ex. He told me flat out \"He is stalking you\". When I blocked my ex off of facebook, his used his best friends account to find me and my location via \"find friends\". With this he managed to follow me places, and this included sitting around the corner in his truck while I was at my friends house, waiting for me to come out. It got to the point, where legal action had to be taken, after finding out about what his best friend eluded to. I already struggle with Mental Illness-so all of my pre-existing anxiety was through the roof. Panic attacks were close together and intense. I passed out because I saw a truck I thought looked like his (not even close-different model and color). This was all during the restraining order process and after. Once he was served, I didn't hear anything from him [I was protected under a temporary order]. However, when we went to court-he showed up and served me that day so the trial had to be pushed. What he served me included letters from his family, his mom and two of his sisters and his own letter. These letters trying to make me seem as though I am the abuser, that I always made him unhappy and they expressed concern, that it was my mental illness that made him unhappy and that he did not do anything wrong and I was making some sort of sick joke. Once the three hearings were done(it took three to finish it), I went up there alone, I did not have any letters from anyone, I had my own deposition and all the text messages for proof and I came in with one person sitting in the audience for me. He came in with a witness (one of the sisters that wrote a letter against) and four family members-along with his letters. So after these three hearings, I got a restraining order- it was evident he lied in court documents because I had evidence to prove otherwise and when asked about the stalking, he admitted guilt-which he denied in the letter. After all of this, I got a restraining order-while it makes/made me feel better-it doesn't return my piece of mine. It's been almost a year since the breakup and the stalking started and I am over the relationship but my peace of mine was taken and I can't seem to get it back. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist, as much as I can fiscally afford. But I still can see and feel and hear these things happening in my head, and I can't not be afraid when I see a truck that looks close to his.\nI am wondering if anyone has experienced similar?\nOr has suggestions on how I could find my way back to having some peace of mind?\n\n**tdlr;** My abusive ex-boyfriend of four years stalked me and I got a restraining order, but I still can't find any peace of mind[I do receive professional treatment]. Do you have similar experiences? Do you have anything that could help? ", "post_id": "64424f"}, {"question": "get couple counseling", "comment": "Hi everyone, I'm new to Reddit but I could use some sage advice. Some back story about my girlfriend (24) and me (28). We met at work and started casually hooking up then about a week later started dating. We've been together 7 months now. Things moved way too fast, I gave up my place and moved in with her because I lost common sense and now we have an apartment together which I pay for. About the last 3 of the 7 months we were always fighting and 'breaking up'. We never left each other for over 24 hours, we never even left the apartment permanently. We also suffered a miscarriage about 2 months ago which devastated the both of us. Anyways, one fight sent us both over the top and we 'broke up'. About a day later we talked and said we're still committed to one another and decided to stay together. She wanted to remove the title of boyfriend and girlfriend but try to repair things little by little. Try to save what was left. I think the source of our fights was moving too fast and not giving the time to really get to know one another.\nI usually like to talk things out and squash any issues we might have. She on the other hand doesn't like talking about difficult or uncomfortable topics, even when it relates to us. She says she wants someone who communicates with her but she won't really talk to me about anything that's bothering her. I can tell when something is, it usually comes out when it overwhelms her and she starts crying. We've had issues about being friends with exes, which I don't like and never do, but she does and explains to me first and foremost they're friends and because they ended not on bad terms, why not stay friends? I guess that makes sense, I don't know. The advice I need is what should I do to help us communicate better? Should I worry about her exes even though she reassures me nothing is going on?\nI have trust issues and I know it, I so really badly want to have confidence in her but based on how things were going the last few months, I don't have it. I don't really have confidence that we'll even make it as a couple. I love her, but at the same time, would permanently breaking up be the best for both of us?\nThings have been going well the last few weeks and the fighting has basically stopped. Help.", "post_id": "6itsh2"}, {"question": "always talk. the biggest mistake redditors make is they don't talk to their SO about their feelings enough.", "comment": "I was working for a major global consulting firm until May, when I was laid off. While I had built a reputation there that allowed me to do my work remotely, typically the career I have a passion for requires one to live in a major global city. If I started looking for a job in that field, I'd likely soon get one and be flitting about the globe doing work that saves lives.\n\n\nI have a BF. He will not move from our city. He made this clear from Day 1. We say we love each other. We've been together two years and lived together seven months. Still, whenever someone refers to him as my \"partner\" or anything like that he explicitly reminds them we are \"boyfriends\" and \"there is no ring on my finger.\" I know he cares about me, and I have kept him 100% in the loop on the fact that I am sacrificing opportunities by staying local. I trust that he would tell me if he thinks this is not something worthwhile. However, we have not had this conversation outright. We do not share finances, and have not made any future plans (like buying a home together).\n\n\nBy most estimations, at eight months unemployed, with just a BF (not a fiancee or partner), and the ability to earn a six figure income in another city, I should have left by now! However, I love my town and I think this is the guy for me, so I've stayed and nearly bankrupted myself. Incidentally, I just got a job that pays half of what I used to make and is terribly boring. I think it can sustain me emotionally and financially for three months max.\n\n\nI'm debating what to do. Almost everyone I know has said I need to go after the job I love. I know that if I do, in six months I'll be happy in Paris or London or NYC with the BF a memory in the past. However, if he and I are really a go, I would choose to stay here and make something work for my career (I can find fulfilling work here, it just takes time, and I would abandon my passion). I cannot decide if I should...\n\n1. Just start job hunting and go. I would have to tell the BF if I start applying outside our town - sitting here in our house being in love while I'm secretly looking to leave would be disingenuous.\n\n2. Have \"the conversation\" with the BF. We are two years in after all. We do not have to get engaged, but maybe it is time to really ask if he wants to spend his life with me. If I do this, even though we both know career looms over my head, my thought is this should be independent of career. I already know if he says  he wants to be together forever, I will stay. On the other hand, I am imagining him saying, \"We've only know each two years, and the last eight months have been under terrible stress due t your job loss, and I fear you may leave for a job you really love. You're asking too much of me to decide that.\"\n\n3. Do nothing. Just keep looking for the right job here and let the relationship progress on a relaxed path. My fear is that I give up great opportunities and then we break up anyway.\n\n\ntl:dr I have great career opportunities that would require me to move, and my BF of to years will not move (that has been a condition since we met). I think he's the guy for me, but then again, we are not engaged. Trying to decide if I stay and sacrifice my passion (and a lot of money), or just go and pursue my career and put the BF behind me.", "post_id": "5qavgn"}, {"question": "Sorry to hear this.\n\nHas she had an EEG or SPECT scan by any chance? ", "comment": "SHORT VERSION:\nMy mother (59, 110lbs, Jewish) lies in a hospital bed beside me. She is sleeping but may be in a coma for all I know at this point. A nasogastric line is delivering some nutrition. Her legs are bent at the knee, pulled up towards her chest, pointing left. PT cannot determine whether her muscle movement is voluntary or spastic. \n\nI've posted about her several times now. Her decline began four months ago with achy joints and a sore throat. Now we've arrived at this unfathomable state of affairs. No diagnosis. The doctors' best guess is some type of Prion disease. She did test negative for the protein that would indicate the presence of vCJD, but we are going to proceed with a brain biopsy ASAP.  Curious if anyone has any experience dealing with this procedure (doctor or patient perspective) and may have any insight on what to expect (I.e. How long of a hospital stay may this require?)\n\nFor more info on my mother's case, please continue with the story below. Thanks in advance to anyone who can offer any insight. \n\n*************************************\n\nEXTENDED VERSION:\nBack when she initially got sick in June, her primary initially thought it might be Lyme and prescribed Doxytricycline, but she quit the course before it was through because she felt it was causing side effects. She then requested a different antibiotic because she didn't feel any better, and her doc prescribed a 10-day course of Levaquin. She had also developed a terrible dry cough, and complained of brain fog. Lost her appetite and developed tremors in her hands. Ended up in the hospital for four days. \n\nAfter all testing came back normal, they released her and told her to get some rest. There was speculation then that the root may have been psychiatric exhaustion. She spent the following week mostly in bed with little appetite, complaining of a brain fog she couldn't shake. She became increasingly exhausted, unable to interact for longer than 10-15 minutes before having to lie down. A slow neurocognitive decline followed. Conversations were beginning to trail off into odd disassociation. She was hospitalized again a few weeks later when it seemed she was really beginning to slip away, less responsive all the time. This time for 12 days. She continued to decline into a stretches of near-vegetative states. Increasingly non-verbal. (SIGNIFICANT SIDE NOTE: at one point during her stay, they discovered a bad UTI and treated her with antibiotics. I saw her the following morning, and like a miracle, she had returned to her body. I cried tears of joy. My mother was back! We spoke clearly and honestly. She described it as if she'd woken from a dream and had no recollection of the previous days. This window of lucidity only lasted a few hours. By the next morning, she was gone again to a far away place.)\n\nShe had tons of blood work, radiology, and two lumbar punctures. Still no diagnosis. She was unable to void urine on her own and had a Foley catheter put in. \n\nMy stepfather brought her home, hoping a return to a comfortable setting would have a positive effect. The first day, she was mostly catatonic. But by day two, she was speaking again. Not lucid. But speaking. They took walks. She was eating and drinking more. A week and a half later, she declined again. Unable to chew the food in her mouth. On Tuesday 10-17, we took her to the ER. \n\nNow she's here. Unconscious. Nasogastric tube up her nose. Her mind may be completely gone by now for all I know. A brain biopsy should be happening soon. Perhaps another brain MRI beforehand. \n\nSome family members have been insistent in their belief that this is Lyme despite all tests for it returning negative. Now, their best guess is Prion Disease. \n\nWe are DEVASTATED. We keep looking back to a week or so ago, longing for even that severely reduced level of cognition. Not having a diagnosis makes it all the worse. \n\nPlease share my mother's story. It isn't over yet. We need help. \n\nSincerely,\n\nEight Track", "post_id": "77iolp"}, {"question": "gorgeous is a tiny part of a real rel.   don't fret about that. everyone comes as a package deal.  everyone! yes he has baggage, and his ex will be in your lives always because of the child.  BUT, if you and he are REALLY SOLID, you can make it work.", "comment": "I started dating a new guy 2 months ago  after meeting him on a night out, and since then we've been seeing each over the past couple of months a few times a week. He told me after the first week that he had a little boy who is now 5 months old and that he wasn't with the baby's mom anymore, that they had split just before the baby was born. I dont know the exact reasons that they did split but I think it had something to do with her wanting to keep the baby when they found out she was pregnant and him not.\n\nA couple of days ago he brought up a conversation about us and where we were headed in the future, he said that he really likes me and could see it going somewhere. I agreed with him as I do really like the guy and said that in time I see us having a future together too. He also brought up that he would have to tell his ex about us eventually and also his parents and my parents. He said that his ex still wants him back and constantly messages him about this. He also said that his mom isn't happy with him for leaving his ex when she was pregnant/with a newborn. I feel like if we were to continue seeing each other and for it to get more serious it's just going to cause a shitload of problems for everybody, his ex will be upset/mad and it sounds like his mom will be mad too, plus I have no idea how my family will react to me dating a guy with a baby but I don't think it will be good. \n\nI do really like him and we get on so well but I know that if we continue seeing each other and get more feelings it's going to be really difficult. Should we keep going with this and just deal with the problems/people as they come in the future or is it not even worth trying because of just how messy the situation would become? \n\nAnother thing is that his ex gf is gorgeous and I have no idea why he would ever want to cause all of this mess just to date me. I don't think my insecurities are helping the situation either as it's making me even more unsure of whether we should even be contemplating this in the first place. :(( ", "post_id": "5ljcmm"}, {"question": "Not sure if they have podcasts.....but there\u2019s videos and info available from both of these:  Gottman institute and Sue Johnson (Emotionally focused Couples Therapy). I love both of these and they have some similarities.", "comment": "Hello!\n\nDo you have any recommendations for marriage advice/counseling podcasts made by an actual professional in the field?\n\nIf it matters, this is for someone who is planning to get married for the first time.\n\nThank you so much!", "post_id": "ehtwkg"}, {"question": "There's nothing to suggest that social connection has a strong effect on incidence of schizophrenia. As someone else said, withdrawing from social contact can be part of the prodrome or syndrome of schizophrenia.\n\nI think the family may also be really looking for something to blame and some sense that this at least could have been controlled. In reality, it can't be. Schizophrenia is highly genetic and also highly responsive to stressors that in large part aren't under anyone's control, and the ones that are are usually under the individual's control, not others. But even if there were something doable, hindsight is 20/20. You can't live your life as a risk modifier for everyone else, and you couldn't do that even if you had absolutely reliable insight into risks and what you could do, which you don't.", "comment": "I am a 28 year old male, and my friend is also 28 years old. My friend was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when we were 25 years old.\n\nHe was, and still is my very good friend, someone who I knew from Kindergarten. After University, my friends and I stopped talking to him, limiting our conversations to Facebook. Three years back, we learnt that he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. \n\nHis primary caregivers, his parents insinuated that had we kept in touch with him often, we could have prevented or delayed the onset. \n\nIs there is any truth in this notion that by simply being in touch could have assuaged his situation?", "post_id": "d84wg2"}, {"question": "always ask", "comment": "I dated this girl for a while and we had a real strong connection. Recently though she found out she'd be heading back to University 6 months earlier than anticipated and so she said we should stop dating now to make it easier than later down the road. At the time I agreed but I don't know, I really felt a connection with her and she seemed to have one with me. I was thinking of just asking her one time if she'd be willing to continue it even after heading to Uni, as a long distance thing, but what do you guys think?\n\nI'm assuming this sub in particular will have more insight with LDR and whatnot.", "post_id": "6rrp2t"}, {"question": "Think of it another way - should you become unwell and you haven't disclosed your smoking status, your insurance becomes invalid.", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nI currently have a really great benefits plan with my company.  If I tell my doctor I smoke ciggeretes, how will this effect my health insurance? Should I be honest? Would I have at one point filled out any insurance info about wether I smoked or not (can't recall). \n\nThanks", "post_id": "4yebqw"}, {"question": "Well figure this. I was considered a smart kid yet never did well in school. I think it's because I already felt a lot of pressure and sadness even before beginning school. I did badly at school (was considered \"lazy\" but was actually depressed) and have fought hard to get to university and finish my masters at 28. I'm 32 now and I have no idea who I have been living for. Not for me anyway. I've been proving my worth. Now I feel crap a lot and have been in therapy for years already working through it all, and hopefully eventually finding my own path. This is difficult and very painful, but somehow I feel the process of self discovery and ending the neglect towards yourself to also be greatly inspiring. The only thing I'm really struggling with is the social isolation. That really hurts and is so difficult to overcome.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "eyz2ww"}, {"question": "Do EVERYTHING slower and with intention.", "comment": "Take a stroll around the house in slow motion. It really helps! Just a tip guys and gals.", "post_id": "efvvp5"}, {"question": "Whether you need a referral for specialists depends on your insurance policy. It's not something we can answer.", "comment": "30M, 5'11, 168lbs, Caucasian, no meds or prior major health concerns. Dealing with chronic lower back pain.\n\nI don't have a primary care doctor. I never really get sick other than the occasional head cold. I did try to establish one two years ago. I went to him for 1 physical, and then he moved away. I want to see a spine specialist, but do I have to get referred by a primary care doctor? Since I don't have one I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions?\n\nBackground:\nI have had consistent lower back pain for as long as I can remember. I have a vivid memory of being like 8 and waking up one morning and telling my parents by lower back was sore. I can't remember when it began exactly, but I know it started when I was young and has just gotten progressively worse over time. I have had it so long that I have no idea what not having lower back pain feels like, but it is getting to a point where it is really starting to limit what I can do. It hurts most before bed and first thing in the morning, but it bothers me all day as well.\n\nThe best way that I can describe the pain is that it feels like my two lowest vertebrae right at the base of my lumbar have no disc between them. It feels like it's bone on bone. No matter what position I lay in, it hurts. When I bend over forward it's a very strong pain. My muscles are tight, but it feels like something more. If I lay in bed on my side and tense up my hips and rotate my waist a little bit I can feel those vertebrae shift as though there is very little support, like they are loosely just sitting in there. It constantly aches.\n\nThe weird thing is that I am very active. I run a lot, I lift 3-5 days a week. I run 11 mile tough mudders with my wife. Those things don't bother my back as much as just standing in one spot, walking long distances, sitting down, or leaning over and picking up any weight over 20 lbs where my back is engaged more than my legs. I have learned how to adapt my body to do lifts and wear a back brace on days where do I light weight squats or shoulder exercises\n\nMy dad, his two brothers, and his mom have all had surgery to help with spinal stenosis. It runs in my family and my sister says she has lower back problems too. Their symptoms seem different than mine though. I don't have numbness in my legs or butt. I just have an ache that I can pin point to my spine and the surrounding muscles remain sore at all times.\n\nThank you in advance for any feedback you can provide.", "post_id": "akw7xb"}, {"question": "What are you hoping to accomplish with the steroids?  It sounds like a terrible idea and you seem to see it as essentially self destructive yourself.  What you should do is to get into psychotherapy, like for anger management and depression.  You should join a mindfulness meditation group.  To use a star wars metaphor, this anger is the 'dark side' and there is another and better (ultimately more satisfying) way to work with the intense pain of social rejection that you are almost certainly trying to cope with here.  ", "comment": "Soon to be 18 years old and I've never been in a relationship before. I was pulled out of school twice last year for suicidal and homicidal thoughts (I admitted I had plans to shoot all the couples and married teachers at both of our major school dances) and struggled to meet people being at an all-male school and not being particularly outgoing.\n\nI eventually got over the fear of rejection and started going to lots of underage drinking parties and hitting on girls from other schools there. I got rejected and embarrassed by everyone I approached and starting spiraling back into isolation and violent anger.\n\nFast forward to now and I'm ready to give life another shot before I start planning to go postal again, but I want to be better prepared.\n\nI have a connection to a dealer who has a lot of high-power steroids and has given me a suggestion for a \"stack\" to try it. This would involve taking massive amounts of testosterone enhancers through pills as well as injections in both my arms.\n\nDo I need to destroy myself to get accepted or will this fail just like everything else has?", "post_id": "534fy2"}, {"question": "Yes..  often i think the craving for alcohol is a need alright but often other things fix it...food, water or even brushing your teeth. Meet the need. Good luck. ", "comment": "I struggled yesterday for the first time really, but managed to resist.\n\nI realised that actually it was being hungry that was making me crave a drink so I had lots to eat and a couple of pints of water. The other thing that helped me to resist was that I had planned a 4 mile run for this morning which I did at 7am.\n\nFeeling quite proud of both things. \n\nWas worried yesterday that I might struggle to not have a drink tonight (as I'm not planning to run tomorrow), but I think I'll be OK. \n\nStarting to lose a bit of weight and feel a bit physically stronger even after only a few days. \n\nIWNDWYT ", "post_id": "8m9tia"}, {"question": "Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.\n\n...In general make sure you have cleaning supplies and if you're like me and suck at chores, clean as you go as much as possible and plan out when to do things like dishes, taking out trash, vacuuming, laundry etc. \n\nIf you're living with roommates this becomes even more important as you all will have to divide those duties.", "comment": "F, 21, beginning to look at apartments for moving to Chicago from the suburbs. It will be my first time moving out. \n\nAll advice, tips, and lessons learned welcome !", "post_id": "g1e5uy"}, {"question": "I struggle too, I practice radical acceptance and opposite action though, knowing full well most often my feelings are not correct and it will pass over time. Plus self care ", "comment": "I posted the other day about working/holding down a job while having BPD. I said how much I hated the job after two weeks in.\n\nWell, I quit the job yesterday. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore and it was causing me more anxiety and stress. I just couldn't stick with it.\n\nNo, I don't have a job lined up. I've taken the initiative and started applying for jobs though before I officially quit. I do have an interview tomorrow.\n\nIt's really difficult for me to hold a job. I have to REALLY like it to want to stick with it. No matter what people tell me, no matter how hard they try to encourage me... If I don't like it, I flee (as with most things in life). People try to tell me to just be mature and stay until something better comes along... I CAN'T! I literally can't. And it's impossible trying to explain it to someone who doesn't fucking understand at all. And the worst part is, I'm so charming and bubbly during the interview, I usually get the job. Then after I'm at the job for a little bit, and I hate it, I just stop showing up or make an excuse for having to quit.\n\nMy brain is too complicated to explain to neurotypicals and it's exhausting trying to do so.\n\nAm I the only one who struggles with being impulsive? I can't be. I'd really like some support if any of you could help. x", "post_id": "6d4ye3"}, {"question": "I doubt dipping in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland made him unwell. Sounds more like health anxiety, assuming no blood in stools.\n\nIt can become extremely distressing, and people tend to get into vicious cycles over it.\n\nIs quetiapine the only medication he has been tried on for the severe anxiety?\n\n[Heres some self help on health anxiety - PDF](https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/Documents/Health%2520Anxiety%2520A4%2520%25202010.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwjb3-ikwt7OAhUDKsAKHdFaBJAQFggsMAI&usg=AFQjCNHQCvIFV-xB1phLydOpkrzXgPSALw)", "comment": "Any help would be much appreciated.\n\n**Brother's Stats**\n\n**Age**: 33\n\n\n**Height**: 5ft 8'\n\n\n**General Health before 4 months ago**: Very good, regular exercise (running, playing soccer etc) drank once a week (although quite a few units of alcohol), no previous cases of mental illness, relatively healthy diet, although he is a vegetarian (and has been all his life).\n\n**Weight**: 72 kg (although has decreased since he has been ill)\n\n**Race**: White British\n\n**Current Medication**  Quetiapine (one tablet at night, unsure of dosage)\n\n**Overview**\n\nSo my brother became quite ill approximately 4-5 months ago. It started as what seemed like a general bug that he (and **some** friends picked up whilst travelling in Iceland. He seemed to get mostly better but just generally felt run down and looked pale and lost some weight. His friends seemed to get completely better but he did not.\n\nAbout 4.5 months ago, he began to become quite anxious believing he had blood poisoning (this is when I first became quite concerned) as my brother is never the sort of person to become fussed or exaggerate about anything. So my parents took him to the hospital to do some blood tests. At this point he said his main problem was feeling very weak all over and just exhausted as well as 'achy'. He was going to the toilet a **lot**, which meant feeling like he needed to pass stool every 20 mins - 30 mins. He had diarrhoea and at this point looked as though he had dropped to 66 kg. He also said he needed to urinate often every 15 mins or so.\n\nThe blood tests came back fine. But my brother began to feel worse and worse. Passing a lot of gas with continued pain in his abdomen. Then he had some stress with his landlord booting him out so he moved back home with our mum and dad so they could keep an eye on him. At this point he had stopped going into work as he felt so awful. (And he never likes to miss work).\n\nMy brother decided to go to a private clinic to get more intensive testing done. Stool, blood and urine tests where all done, as well as a more comprehensive stool test which was sent to the USA for analysis. The stool test came back as he continued to get worse. They showed that he had a high count of Endolimax Nana and Blastocystis Hominis, which the doctor said were normal in some people.\n\nIt then seemed as if it were some sort stomach bug and the doctor agreed and thought he may have picked it up whilst being in hot spas in Iceland. So he was given a course of anti biotics, he completed the course, but generally felt worse. He then took some probiotics as well as some herbal remedies such as oregano oil and caprylic acid etc, hoping that they would alleviate his symptoms which now seemed to be getting worse. He generally felt nauseous, and although the amount of gas and belching reduced, he still had pain in his abdomen and he continued to feel dehydrated all the time, despite drinking 2 litres of watery a day at least, as well as his urine being very dark still.\n\nAs time rolled on and continued tests showed nothing, he began to feel more anxious and obviously depressed at not being able to pin point what the problem was. This led to him to have mental break downs as the pain then 'spread to his bones', he said that he has constant cracking and pain in his joints, and feels constant malaise.\n\nHe now rocks back and forth gibbering and crying, asking and pleading to everyone to help him and he has had several 'episodes' where he has driven to A&E as he believed that 'he is in a really bad way' and 'hasn't got long left', and that something is 'eating his bones'. He paces back and forward crying 'why won't anyone help him, and he's going to die'. \n\nMy Mum and Dad have been out of their depth and although being concerned they do not know what to do. The doctors will not do anymore tests as they said 'they have checked for everything' and are now convinced that it is mental and he doesn't have any pain as nothing is showing up on any x-rays, blood tests etc. Then the doctors have now put him on quetiapine to take in the evenings to calm him down, as he literally shakes with fear and cries while scrunching his hands saying how 'doomed' he is, and how he is 'not gonna make it, so scared, so scared, he doesn't want to die' and how much of 'a bad way' he is in.\n\nAfter he was put on that drug, I think he personally got worse as he started to say weird things such as the last text message I sent him over and over again, and not really realising he was saying it. I put this down to the fact that the drug was somewhat messing with his mind.\n\nHe shows me pictures of his stool saying they are 'not normal' and I think to some degree they are not because they are a little loose. He now has a carer come around to ask him how each day is and to get him to talk about his anxiety, but he discredits them as being a waste of time as its this bug which is 'eating at his bones' and that he can feel it. Crying that 'he used to be so healthy and loved playing sport'.\n\nNow it does strike me as a mental break down of some sort, and it's certainly stressful but I know that he did lose a lot of weight and he was passing a lot of gas, and before he had a complete melt down, it did seem as if there were very visible symptoms.\n\nMy parents have pretty much given up and do believe it to be anxiety, but he showed me his urine the other day after drinking two litres of water and it was genuinely still very dark.\n\nHe has gone to various specialists who have ruled out rheumatoid arthritis, cancers etc. But now he has to start CBT (hypnotherapy) which he thinks is a complete waste of time because he feels in constant pain, and that he cannot use his hands or move his neck due to a constant clicking pain.\n\nI guess my general question is, has anyone got any experience of this? Or what would be some tests that we could do that the doctors may not have thought about?\n\nI'm quite worried because he says \"You are my only hope, no one believes me, they all think I'm crazy but I can feel my bones eroding and I've ruined everyones lives, I'm going to just kill myself, I am in constant pain and no one is listening to me\".\n\nHe physically breaks down because the pain is unbearable and it's driving him insane.\n\nHe has spoken to another doctor who has issued him with a super strong round of anti biotics as well as L-glutamine and some strong probiotics to take over a 2 week period.\n\nBut the doctor has issued them without taking another stool sample recently. \n\nWhat can I suggest, I am all out of ideas and when I look at him he is clearly broken , but I saw the physical early symptoms (the belching, the urine, the loose stools and the weight loss so I know that he wasn't faking that. I just wonder if he has got himself into a state reading so much online about endolimax nana and how it eats away at your calcium levels etc and he is convinced that he still has it and that it is destroying his bones.\n\nWould checking his vitamin levels be a good idea?\n\nI tell him he still looks healthy and he says ' No, no you don't understand, I am not, I am in a really bad way, I'm not gonna make it, I'm in so much pain, why won't anyone believe me!!!' and then he starts crying. He was never an emotional person and would never get anxious.\n\nI'm so sorry for the verbal diarrhoea and poor grammar I just had to get it all out. Any help is greatly appreciated.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "4zlz2x"}, {"question": "I'd hesitate against assuming DID as it is extremely extremely rare (and is actually a debated diagnosis by many clinicians/academics). You are absolutely right that with BPD one tends to have a very unstable sense of self-image, can often fluctuate from feeling one way to another. \n\nHowever, again, this is best left to discussion with a therapist or psychiatrist. ", "comment": "I have a history of dp/dr and have BPD and PTSD among other things. I also have a history of past abuse. I do have separate \"personas\" I fluctuate into and have had since my early teens. Sometimes I feel really kiddy and giggly and want to play with children's toys and put on a onesie, sometimes I feel like a drag queen (I'm a woman though, so that's kinda weird right?), sometimes I feel transgender, goth, slutty, etc, etc. I don't know if this is just unstable self image because of the BPD or something else all together (like DID). Anyone have input/advice?", "post_id": "25fjku"}, {"question": "Looking at your other posts, it seems anxiety/stress related.\n\nYou'd probably be pretty unwell if you ate getting zero hours of sleep over multiple days, but im sure it feels like it.\n\nI suspect a trial of an antidepressant might be of use.\n\n[Sleeping well](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/sleepproblems/sleepingwell.aspx)", "comment": "18/M/black/no meds. I've posted here a lot over the past week, but one because my symptoms keep progressing. Ive gone from waking up a few hours early to not getting any deep sleep at all, I close my eyes for what feels like a Lon time, then open them to see that its only been an hour. The occasional black dot or movement in my peripheral has turned into tiny translucent and black dot being seen on walls and in thr air constantly. Still cant tell if im hallucinating auditorially. Lack of sleep is seriously effecting my performance in college. I believe my mental state is deteriorating rapidly and there doesnt seem to be anything I can do about it. Ideas?", "post_id": "52qy10"}, {"question": "This is very likely clinical depression indeed.  You are exhibiting textbook symptoms, including anger (irritability), loss of motivation, loss of pleasure, worthlessness (self-loathing), altered sleep, poor concentration.  You should absolutely seek professional medical and psychological evaluation and treatment for this.", "comment": "Apologies for shitty formatting, I don't use reddit often. For the last two years of my life I've been progressively getting worse and worse in the motivation department. My sleeping patterns are so insane now that I miss tons of consecutive alarms, sleep for 10-14 hours (regardless of how long I've been awake) and I keep digging myself a hole I can't get out of. I can't bring myself to do anything that I even remotely want to do, such as get more into the programming I've been doing for the past 7 years or even play video games. Very few things excite me whatsoever. I can't even get myself to play fucking video games sometimes, let alone even begin to pull the motivation out of thin air in order to concentrate on my studies (even when my major, Computer Science, is a complete joke to me because I have been doing it for half my life). I'm not even close to the situations that some people are in. My school is paid for - for which I am extremely grateful - and I don't even have to work to put myself through. My life is extremely easy and while I know I appreciate it mentally I can't even begin to do the EXTREMELY simple things that are required of me. I can barely function at this point and it's steering my life in direction I do not want it to go.\n\nA few other points; I'm not familiar with depression at all but I've had close friends/family of friends who have been there and I've heard that it's not just some \"sad\" spell that you get over, or that it doesn't even always have to involve sadness at all. I'm more angry at myself than anything and it's to the point where it's almost fucking smash-everything-in-the-room infuriating. I'm unable to stress about the things I KNOW I should be stressing about and it's concerning me now to a very critical point.\n\nI'm in need of help and I don't know where to turn as my family is also very blunt and apathetic to mental illness or anything involving something they can't see (\"it's not like you broke a leg!\", \"it's so easy why can't you just do it?\", \"you have no problem with your sleeping, just get yourself on track and go to bed early\", etc etc).\n\nI need to know what's going on here. Am I legitimately just a lazy fuck who's become used to doing nothing and not giving a shit? Or could there be something wrong with me? I need to know. I don't want anybody to try and soften the blow. I just need to fucking know. Even if it just means I'm a lazy piece of shit.\n\nIs this depression? Is it a mental issue? Should I seek help? Or should I concentrate on my life instead of searching for a \"convenient\" answer to my problems? Somebody please just point me in the right direction I have no idea what to do.", "post_id": "3en25f"}, {"question": "I have a lot of experience working with folks who have schizophrenia or present with similar psychotic features.  She needs help.  If she is experiencing the onset of schizophrenia or a related disorder, her best chances of living a relatively \"normal\" life are to get into therapy and even more importantly get the proper medications as soon as possible.  \n\nHypnotism is a real thing.  Only a very small % of the population are actually susceptible to it but generally it doesn't have these kinds of effects.  This really sounds a bit like some kind of psychosis going on.  \n\n\nTricky thing with folks like this is as magicbumblebee said, challenging her delusions will only put her on the defensive and reduce your chances of helping her.  One way that I work with these folks is to acknowledge what they're experiencing sounds incredibly stressful.  \n\n\n\"Wow if I had that happening to me I'd be freaking out too.  Have you considered going to a therapist or talking to a doctor to see if any meds could help you DEAL WITH THE STRESS that all this causes you?  You know people get meds and therapy to deal with things like work stress, and what you have going on sounds a hell of a lot more stressful.  Please consider it?\"\n\n\nGenerally if she explains to a psychiatrist what's going on, they're going to look to prescribe anti-psychotics, which hopefully would clear up the delusional thoughts or any type of auditory hallucinations if present.  ", "comment": "Before I start, I want to mention that me and my bff's  home country is \"backwards\" does not take mental issues seriously. \n\nSo today my friend called me and asked me if I noticed any changes in her personality in the past years. I said I did, and there was in fact a major change were she went from being an extrovert to an introvert. She said that she also noticed that a long time ago, and she now realized why. According to her it was because she was hypnotized. \nI personally look at this things with skeptitism, but obviously I didn't tell that to her and listened to what she was saying. According to her, for the past years someone would call her while she was sleeping and tell her to behave a certain way, say that she was a bad girl and has to change and so on. When she woke up she would have a bad feeling but forget everything.  \nSo anyway, she said that the reason she remembered everything is because the woman who hypnotized her told her that she will remember everything after she moves to a different country, which she did. The woman also told her she won't stay there for long and return to her home country. \nShe also told me that she actually mentioned to me this before and she also told her mother, but we forgot cause that woman hypnotized us too. She is worried that I will forget this again.\n \nFor a second I thought she maybe playing a joke, but she sounded so sincere and was nearly crying.\n\nFrom one point I of course want to believe her, and if she is saying the truth then there is a high chance that she is in danger. There is another side where it maybe just part of her imagination, and if it is then I'm very worried about her mental health. \nI'm in a different country right now so I can't check on her frequently expect only online. I made her promise to text me and keep me updated. I told her to tell her parents but she is afraid that they will forget and because of that woman we will be in danger. I want to tell her parents myself but I'm afraid that they will think she is crazy and maybe do something, because our country does not know the difference between mental health diseases and being \"possessed by the devil\". What advice do you have? Is this a mental issue or it might be real? What can I do to ensure that my friend is safe?\n\nTL;DR: My best friend thinks she is being controlled by some creepy woman. That's why her personality has changed dramatically. I don't know what to do and how to help her since I'm in a different country.", "post_id": "9h4f6t"}, {"question": "Can you consume the liquid calories on your own? Like boost, ensure, soylent, huel. Stuff like that. It will be a lot cheaper and easier that way, physically more comfortable, a lot less work. It's a huge pain to have a feeding tube. Personally I'll do whatever I can to avoid a feeding tube, and drinking liquid calories provides basically the same effect if you actually do it. Use a straw if you don't want to taste it. \n\nAre you working with any professionals right now? If not, you might at least look for a dietician and a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. They will be able to refer you to higher levels of care if you want or need. You could also ask for a referral from your PCP, or see if there is an eating disorders clinic that you can access directly.", "comment": "\\[Just to be clear, I'm asking for advice, though I understand that anything said here does not constitute \"medical advice.\" I understand that reddit is not a substitute for a doctor.\\]\n\nI'm 30 years old, soon to be 31 on the 11th. I've struggled with several eating disorders over the last 15 years or so, and I've never had a good relationship with food. Lately, I've been under a lot of stress and struggling to keep my intake up for that reason. I gag on food and have to spit it out, even if I want to swallow it, and there is often the sensation of a balloon or something right at the top of my stomach. I'm constantly hungry but struggle to do anything about it because my body wants to reject it. \n\nEven when I enjoy food, I have to take several breaks and can only do one or two bites at a time. This has been going on too long, and I'm fucking miserable.\n\nMy thinking is that I'd like a feeding tube, probably just temporarily. If I can just get some nutrients directly into my body, I can have more energy and capability to change things and get better and cope with the underlying issues. But as long as I'm starving, it seems unrealistic.\n\nMy question is, how can I get a doctor to go for it? Should I ask for particular procedures or tests first? Also, what kind of specialist handles the insertion? I'm thinking a PEG would be my best option due to issues with swallowing. Also, I live in the US. Is it something insurance is likely to fight me about?", "post_id": "gwlat9"}, {"question": "A hospital would admit him if he need inpatient treatment. Once admitted, they would not be able to give out any information about him unless he explicitly gives them permission, or if a court order is granted. ", "comment": "My brother has been missing for 2+ days.  He up and left his wife and 2 young children.  No one has seen or heard from him since.  He has gone completely off the grid: no cell, no plastic, no toll tag hits.  He does have a history of depression and a number of years ago some dis-associative spells.  His welbutrin was left at the house.\n\nWe are cooperating with local law enforcement and an NCIC/TCIC bolo is out for him and his vehicle.  We are out of options and searching for theories at this point.\n\nHe is not wanted or in criminal/civil trouble.  To our knowledge he was not at odds with anyone who would want to harm him.  Are there any facilities that would take him in and essentially hide him for a period of time?\n", "post_id": "2cte1q"}, {"question": "A drink is defined as 5oz/wine, 120z/beer, or 1.5oz liquor. Moderate drinking is defined as one drink/day for women, and two for men.  Alcoholism aside, relationships are about comfort levels.  Whether it's excessive golfing, knitting, gaming, or partying. You have to be comfortable..that's the bottom line. All of relationship life is about compromise and negotiation to find those sweet spots. You have a right to make an issue about ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable.", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nI guess I just need an opinion that topic because it causes a lot of discussion between us right now and we're quite stuck atm.\n\nSome background: we're dating for a little over three years now and I would consider our relationship as healthy, honest and filled with trust. He never gave me any reason to be jealous, no weird exes, no secret text messages to other girls or other crazy stuff. \nHe moved about three hours away last fall to start college, while I'm still in our hometown. So we are long distance since then. We still get to see each other every weekend, every now and then every other weekend. We had to adjust a bit, but we worked through it. \n\nBut, to the problem. I have a very low alcohol tolerance and after some 'experimenting' with alcohol a few years ago (before we started dating, but I have to say that I never vomited, passed out or didn't remember what happend last night, so I guess that's still pretty moderate experimenting) I decided for myself that I basically don't need alcohol in my life. I drink a beer or two or a glass of champagne on special occasions, but that occurs maybe once a month. Overall, I'm more of an introvert, I usually don't go clubbing or partying. My friends are the same and my bf knows it. He fully supports my decision of not drinking much.\n\nI have to say that the alcohol problem became an issue since he moved away. He drinks more alcohol than me, but this has never been an issue before. His friends here are all more introverted, they usually meet and play video games together. I know most of them. Of course they would drink some alcohol when they met, but they never went crazy with it. His new friends in college seem to be a lot more open about the topic. I have met them only once, but I used that evening to get them to know a bit better (of course, you can guess wrong based on first impressions). They usually spent one or two evenings a week together as a group. Sometimes they go clubbing, sometimes they stay in and play board games together or they go to a bar. Alcohol is always involved, at that is the point where I'm worried and concerned. It's not just a beer, it's usually hard liquor. He assures me every time that he knows his limits and that he will stop, no matter how much the others drink. Yes, as far as I know (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't hide anything) he doesn't push past his limits.\nHe's home safe, he doesn't pass out, pukes etc. I know I should consider myself happy to have such a great bf. But I'm not comfortable with it. I'm not comfortable with not knowing how much the others drink, if they know there limits, if they would make sure that he's home safe and stuff like that. I'm sorry for my lack of expression, English isn't my native language.\nI don't know how much they pressure him to drink, because he never drank that regularly (or better to say he never went out that regularly and even if he went out some evenings alcohol wasn't even an issue)\n\nI'm sorry if anything isn't expressed clearly enough/spelling and grammar mistakes.\n\nI'm really looking forward to some other perspectives on that topic, how did you compromise? Am I overreacting? \n\nThank you!\n\n", "post_id": "672aox"}, {"question": "Does it feel like indigestion or heartburn, or different from that?", "comment": "Hey all, I'm female in her early 20s, around 100 lbs. This has been a question that's been on my mind for a while, and it's happening again right now so I thought it'd be a good time to ask. \n\nWhenever I drink, I'll start feeling some discomfort in my stomach. It feels a bit tight? I haven't been able to really measure the amount of alcohol that I have to ingest for this to start happening, but it doesn't take much. I've seen similar posts regarding this but they've all mentioned pain, so I thought I should emphasize that there's NO pain involved. It's just an all-around uncomfortable feeling that I can't really ignore. This started ~1 year ago, so it hasn't always been like this. \n\nThanks in advance!", "post_id": "6r5wsr"}, {"question": "Every state has their own law regarding this.  Some are stricter than others.  \n\n\nIn my state, PA.  We only report incidents of child abuse if the child being abused is currently under 18.  The only other instance we'd report is if someone who is over 18 reports past sexual abuse and the perpetrator currently has access to children who may be in danger.  \n\n\nAnything else is confidential, however, this vastly differs from state to state.  I would ask your therapist to discuss the specifics of their duty to report and/or look up your state's mandated reporting laws (if in the USA, if elsewhere, look up your local laws).", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "do1dc9"}, {"question": "if you love someone who isn't treating you right than the word 'love' has lost its meaning", "comment": "We've been together for about a year now. The beginning was picture perfect for me and I couldn't complain about a single thing. While dating him, a lot happened in his life that was stressful for him. I ended up figuring out he cheated on me. I had already gone to therapy, and talked to my therapist to help me. I decided I was ready to move on and felt like he was genuinely sorry for a one time mistake. His true colors started to show as time went on (even before the cheating). He became controlling, and if I wasn't responding he would blow up my phone a million times. With us, we had highs and lows. But the highs were amazing... I know we're deeply in love and I've never connected with someone like him. But I don't know why he does these things to me. He got kicked out of his house lately and is living with me. I was okay helping him but he stole money from me too and wouldn't even admit it was him until I had filed a police report. Everyone acts like it's easy to leave, but I'm so dedicated and thought he was my soulmate. The only reason I'm saying all of this is because everyone else is telling me to leave him.", "post_id": "5pq58g"}, {"question": "Blackouts are your body telling you that it's not coping with the toxic effects of alcohol. Once every 6 weeks is still worrying.\n\nHopefully you've not done major damage, but I won't lie to you - its likely that a few neurons are lost. I couldn't say for sure whether your life expectancy is significantly reduced, but it probably has. I wouldn't fret about it though, as it's in the past and there's nothing you can do about that.\n\nOn the other hand, you've now made some positive changes that mean that further damage is less likely to occur. All you can do now is to do all the common sense stuff like keeping physically healthy and keeping mentally active.", "comment": "Throughout my early 20's I would binge drink once a week (e.g  a Saturday night) and oftentimes this would result in a blackout. Since getting older this happens much less often, I don't drink as excessively on weekends, but still occurs about once every 6 weeks. I'm going to take a break from alcohol for awhile, just to get used to cutting back to further reduce these blackout episodes. But my concern is around any permanent brain damage. Do I need to be worried about permanently altering my brain chemistry or damaging the dendrites/neurons? I never understood this risk when I was younger and regret not taking this more seriously at that time.\n\nAny feedback is greatly appreciated! Losing sleep over here! (Google is a scary place)", "post_id": "6qqjyn"}, {"question": "I remember the struggle when I first did an online course...and here is what helped me.\n1. Make a calendar and write out all of the assignments in the appropriate due date. (Helped me see everything at a glance)\n2. Block out specific times each week when you plan to work on assignments. (do a little bit a time, not all at once so you can ask questions)\n3. Don't be afraid to ask for help early on!\n4. Do your best (It is better to turn SOMETHING in than nothing at all)  Something can get points\n", "comment": "it seems we can't escape the future. and while I had some success  with Lynda.com, I've been struggling other platforms like udacity , udemy and coursera .\n\ndo you have any tips on effectively finishing an online course? ", "post_id": "627bd7"}, {"question": "But guys, where's she gonna find someone with great taste in music?", "comment": "I met a guy recently, a guy who's everything I've been looking for personality wise wrapped up in a super amazing body mixed with a great taste in music and I am convinced we should be together. Only problem he is currently in a 3 year long relationship. I know I know I should just stop right there and give up but hear me out. We've hung out a handful of times now and the last time we got together it involved alcohol, me of course drinking more because I was nervous. At the end of the night through a series of questions I ended up telling him that I was really interested in him. And without any hesitation he said he felt the same and he thought that I was gorgeous. And then later in the car ride said he didnt do or say anything that he didn't mean. Ever since then I cant help but get him off my mind. His friends have said he is unhappy in his relationship but he seems to be happy with her still.\n\nMy question I guess is should I pursue him? He hasn't shown any indication that he is going to break up with her but he told me he liked me. I dont want to wait and then have him stay with her and me get screwed over but on the other hand I don't think I want to give him up. Any advice helps, even if you tell me I'm stupid. Thank you.  ", "post_id": "6buois"}, {"question": "It can work. You have to simply respect the other's beliefs, and do your own thing in that regard. Now, if she NEEDS a partner to be religious together with her, then that's a different story and a deal-breaker.", "comment": "We met each other in highschool. I liked her from the start but was too shy to make a move, so I waited until the last year of the highschool. I knew she was religious, but didn't know to what extent.\n\n\nThe start of our relationship was great, I was inexperienced as she was my first gf but it was a fun learning experience. We love each other a lot and are together for 2,5 years now, know each other for 7 years.  \n\nThe thing is, as we talk about our future together, we have very different views about it. She is Christian, and wants to live her life with a partner that shares her beliefs, she wants to attend church together every week and on Christian holidays, she wants to bring up her children in the Christian religion and share spiritual life together.  \n\nI on the other hand am agnostic, and don't see myself changing in this aspect, but I don't have a problem with religion. I am willing to compromise, but she thinks she won't be happy in such relationship.  \n\nI don't want to attend church on every occasion, but I am willing to go from time to time, e.g 2-3 times per month, so as to make her happy. Same with children, I don't have a problem with her bringing them up in religion, \nI see no harm in it, but don't want to actively participate in it.  \n\nThe problem is that I am madly in love with her, and can't imagine my life without her. I know that she also loves me very deeply, but it seems like her religion is more important.  \n\nI think we could be happy together, but I can't see her ideal future working for us two. Has anyone gone through something similar? Any advice as to what I/we can do to make it work?  \n\nTL;DR: I am agnostic and madly in love with my religious gf, who wants to break up with me because of her view of ideal future that won't work for us.", "post_id": "6o7qyb"}, {"question": "Oh god, my spiro withdrawal was awful even titrating off slowly. Gained 10 lbs of water weight and felt like my stomach had a layer of jello all around it. Took a month off to feel normal. ", "comment": "Hey all,\n\nI am currently out of Spiro (one week now) and cannot get to the doctor to refill my prescription for another two weeks.  I am considering going off of it as I am full paleo/alcohol free/etc. and am hoping my lifestyle will allow me to go off (only because I hate being teathered to daily pills). Does anyone have experience with withdrawal from Spiro? Claire ", "post_id": "8l3rph"}, {"question": "Ugh, I definitely get this sometimes! Using a heating pad on my back and/or stomach helps. Also this sometimes happens to me when I'm constipated! Deep breaths, remember it will pass!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9gtun9"}, {"question": "Tell him you're doing your best to be as expressive as possible. If he accepts your illness, he should accept everything that goes with it.", "comment": "I have been with the same guy on and off for the last 11 years. I have schizophrenia along with other mental illnesses and it sometimes makes me horrible at showing how I feel. I love him more than anything, but he feels unloved. I want to tell him I think it's because I'm mentally exhausted and that I'm going through a horrible time right now, but I don't want him to think I'm using my illnesses as an excuse. I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me or give me special treatment because my brain doesn't function proper. At the same time I definitely don't want to lose the love of my life because I can't swallow what pride I have left.", "post_id": "67msjw"}, {"question": "No matter what you decide to do, the most important thing is that you are firm with your boundaries and consistent.  Don't give him deadlines or consequences for breaking house rules and then not follow up with them or continuously extend deadlines.\n\n\nI really like the idea of having it be a dry house.  I'd also suggest something like no using your internet/wifi, etc. for video games unless he is contributing towards rent/bills.  \n\nHe's not going to be happy with any of this and will likely try to make you feel bad or look like the bad guy.  \n\nSomething important for good parents dealing with adult children living in their homes and siblings in situations like yours is this.  You love them.  You don't want them to be homeless.  You want to provide a safe place for them.  That doesn't mean that you have to provide a comfortable place for them.  In fact, the more comfortable a place you make it or allow them to have equal power without equal responsibility (ie. Having a say in house rules, what they can/can't do, etc. while not paying half the rent/bills) the less likely they'll ever be to act responsibly and independently.  \n\n\nThe idea is to make it so uncomfortable through not allowing them to do the things they want to do that they decide it would be better off to work hard and be responsible in order to pay for their freedom to do what they want in their own place.  \n\nIe. If I had a child who had graduated high school and was still living with me, I'd have them paying money for rent (which I'd probably secretly keep aside for them to create an emergency fund for down the line), helping out with chores, while STILL following all of my house rules and not giving them the full freedom of adulthood.  \n\nIt likely wouldn't be long before they did what they needed to do to get their own place.  Once they did that, I'd make sure I gave them plenty of praise and even reward them for taking the initiative with housewarming gifts and whatever else would help make them feel proud of moving out on their own.", "comment": "I (27f) don\u2019t know what to do for/ about my brother (24m)\n \nHe is severely depressed, I don\u2019t think he knows what being just \u201cok\u201d feels like. He has been this way since childhood. Our mom died and we had a monster of a step mom, both of which contributed to his low self worth and complete lack of motivation. \n \nI\u2019ve been called an enabler by my parents, neither of whom are very nurturing. My step mom is borderline mentally abusing and my dad is passive and brainwashed to agree with her so as to avoid blow ups. \n \nThrough the years I have done what I thought were helpful things, paying his phone bill, buying him clothes, hand holding during processes like paying taxes or getting his oil changed. Things he wouldn\u2019t always do on his own. \n \nAbout three months ago he left a good job for a shady under the table job, all for the sake of a few more dollars an hour.  No one was surprised when a month later the shady job ghosted him. Things like this are a pattern in his life. He does not think ahead and will leave a year round job for a seasonal job that pays a tiny bit more, with no plans for when that job ends. \n\nAs a result, he found himself displaced, losing his apartment when he couldn\u2019t pay rent. \n \nI wasn\u2019t going to let him be homeless. I let him move into my new apartment. He was supposed to be here two weeks, until he could get a job and move in with his friend. \n \nIt has been over a month, he drinks a 6 pack a night, using a gift card from Christmas (intended for gas) to pay for it and plays video games all day. His friend has flaked on him, I assume to avoid the situation I am in currently.\n \nI am a full time college student. Being able to pay rent and feed myself was stressful enough, without the added financial burden. I have told him how stressful paying for him has been and do think he feels bad. \n \nWhen it got well past the point of taking advantage, I decided to set some rules. I gave him two weeks to get a job or pack his things. I also laid out a plan for my expectations on at what point I expect him to start helping with rent. In the meantime he is doing all the dishes and walking my dog when I\u2019m gone. \n \nIn a typical move for him, he continued to be generally unmotivated.  Only  applying to only a handful of jobs online, waiting until two days before the deadline to job hunt outside the apartment. And, again, surprising no one, he got hired on the spot. He has always been just lucky enough to avoid most real life consequences.\n \nI believe that at a certain point you can no longer blame your behavior on the past; once you acknowledge the problem there is no excuse for not trying to better yourself. Which is why I struggle when it comes to my brother. I am torn between wanting to care for him and wanting him to better himself and be happy.\n\nThe ball is currently in my court since he is living with me for free until he squares his debts.\nI would like to enforce rules that deal with his underlying issues. I was contemplating a \u201cdry apartment\u201d rule and giving him a deadline to start seeing a therapist, something he has been open to in the past. The no alcohol rule is going to be tough, and he will be mad about it. I\u2019m not sure it can be all or nothing. \n \nI am not sure what a reasonable level of rules would be, and I know I can\u2019t make empty threats about him moving out.\n \nI don\u2019t know what to do or how to help him. All feedback is welcome.\n \nTldr: I\u2019m potentially enabling my brother who is living with me for free. While he did get a job two days ago, I would like to enforce rules that address his underling issues of depression and potential alcoholism.", "post_id": "ezwfej"}, {"question": "If its a one-off thing and theres no other mental health symptoms, then its nothing.", "comment": "I was hoping you could help me try to get a grasp on some potential causes for auditory hallucinations?\nA friend came to me yesterday a little bit shaken by an experience he had the night before. According to him, he woke up in the middle of the night hearing a voice in his room. The voice came from his closet and simply said \"let me out, let me out\" repeatedly - but not in an urgent tone. My friend, freaked out and confused, grabbed his phone and flashed the light on the closet. He then walked over to the closet and opened it, finding nothing. He said that he then went to the bathroom and felt very dizzy, and just very ill in general. Eventually he went back to bed.\nThis is the first time he says he's experienced anything like this. 22 years old, in otherwise good health - no new habits or anything that stood out as potentially triggering the experience. Perhaps school stress?\nI have no idea what to make of it; I didn't bring the possibility of dormant mental illness surfacing with him obviously because A.) not a medical professional by any stretch, and have no experience with psychology or psychiatry and B.) I think it's probably best if he tries not to stress out about it and raising the possibility of psychiatric illness would not necessarily help.\nBut if it continues, I'll of course recommend professional help. \n\nAnyways, does anybody have any possible insight into what occurred and why?\n\nAge 22\nSex M\nHeight 5'11\nWeight 140\nRace Caucasian\nDuration of complaint One night\nLocation Mind\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any) None\nCurrent medications (if any) None\n \n", "post_id": "5zoc5x"}, {"question": "Google the term [Paralysis of Will](https://www.smartlivingnetwork.com/add-adhd/b/adhd-and-paralysis-of-will/)...procrastination in ADHD is more about sensory overload than laziness.  Like when thinking of showering or another boring task, it feels daunting just to get started. After understanding the overload part, i know just say I have to turn the shower on....then worry about step 2 when I get their.  Hope this helps! ", "comment": "I am taking procrastination to extremes, and I just don't understand myself.\n\nOne of the most puzzling examples is when I decide to take a shower before starting my evening gaming session, because I hate interrupting it midway through, and I don't enjoy it as much if I have a nagging \"gotta shower\" in the back of my mind.\n\nBut then my brain tells me showering is lots of work, even if it's a 15 minute process all in all. \"I just need to gather my strength to do it, I'll just reddit for a few minutes\". \n\nHours pass, I still haven't showered, and I only have a couple of hours left to play before I have to go to bed.\n\nWhy do I waste so much time doing stuff I don't really want to do, procrastinating on a 15 minute task, after which I get to do what I actually want to do?", "post_id": "7yuq45"}, {"question": "Two negative tests is a fairly common policy in many hospitals, as we don\u2019t have the best data on how accurate the tests are. Best to wait, even though the situation is understandably stress inducing. Best of luck to your family.", "comment": "I don\u2019t know what else to do. My grandmother, 82 yo Female (5\u20196\u201d, average weight, Caucasian), has been in the hospital for the past 4 days.  - in the ICU isolation unit despite testing negative for COVID \n\nShe was admitted after she started having conversations with people who weren\u2019t there- and then passed out. She has had very low sodium and chronic diarrhea for months now- doctors have done numerous tests but don\u2019t know why her sodium is so low. We don\u2019t know what medications the hospital has her on because they won\u2019t let us in there now.\n\n**What I need help/advice on:**\nShe was admitted and because she is old they put her in the COVID isolation unit in the ICU. She tested negative to the in hospital COVID test, she has no fever. She is on a vent, and both times they have tried to remove it she has become very agitated and becomes apneic, so the doctor puts her back on the vent (even though we told nurses she has sleep apnea). \n\nShe has to stay in isolation until the doctor gets a secondary COVID test they send out which will take 4 more days. That means she will be on the vent that much longer. She needs my mom (preciously and ICU nurse) to be with her so she can help her through this, but because she is in COVID isolation they won\u2019t let anyone see her- even though she doesn\u2019t have COVID.\n\nPlease help. How do we pressure the hospital into moving her out of isolation? We\u2019ve called the charge nurses, but they say they have to just ask the doctors. We need to be with her. Thank you in advance.\n\nUPDATE:\n\nShe was successfully extubated. She is awake, but still stuck in isolation.", "post_id": "hc3qq4"}, {"question": "Maybe random, but if it's late, say after 10 or 11 pm and you're checking me in, please be friendly but *fast*. I'm tired, it's been a long day, and I just want to crash. \n\nThe only memorably \"bad\" experiences I've had at hotel reception (minus one place that said they were pet-friendly online but then magically were not and were assholes about it*) were when I was trying to check in later at night and the whole process seemed to take forever. I had to wait at the counter for awhile, then figuring out who I was and my reservation took forever, and then getting the key was somehow tough ... when you're tired its the worst 1st-world struggle.\n\n*On that note, keep your damn website updated.", "comment": "Dear future guest! I work at a small hotel as a reception manager, and have other responsibilities as well. I really want to make our guests feel welcome and well cared for at our place. I really love my job and I honestly LOVE our guests! Of course I have had a lot of classes on customer service, and I think that me and my co-workers are good at the normal polite \"welcome\", \"thank you\"  type of customer service. But I want advice on how to \nexceed your expectations, on how give you give you a WOW experience, or how to give you warm and fuzzy feelings about a building! For example: What can I do with your hotel room prior to check in? What would you like to hear when you check in? What can I do for you at breakfast? I really just want to make you happy! Any advice?", "post_id": "4205vf"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve done better on moderate low carb, high fiber, tons of veggies, than I ever did on keto/VLC diets. IF always seems like a terrible idea to me, given how adrenally sensitive so many PCOSers can be. \n\nMy point is that you may need to experiment a bit. I have pretty classic PCOS symptoms but my weight never budged/only increased/was so hard to even maintain on paleo, keto, Atkins etc. My experience with PCOS weight loss has been slow. But slow as it\u2019s been the last three years, it\u2019s the only success I\u2019ve seen. And I\u2019ve fucking tried it all.\n\nI follow the FLO Living protocol, which has helped undo the years of bad dieting mindset and helped me focus on supporting my body with the nutrients and types of activity it needs in each phase of my menstrual cycle. I\u2019m also on 1500 of Metformin ER.  ER generally has fewer stomach issues. Adjusting my dose slowly and only taking the Metformin in the middle of my meals has eliminated my GI side effects. \n\n", "comment": "I am need of some advice. I was diagnosed with insulin resistance pcos and endometriosis and was put on metformin to help make my insulin levels normal. I would really love to lose weight, not have horribly oily skin, and stop losing my hair. My question is what is the best diet and exercise for this? Will my hair stop falling out with proper diet? ", "post_id": "7w1j5b"}, {"question": "Your sobriety comes first. If I were in that situation, the advice I know people in the program would tell me is to just get a new sponsor immediately if I felt that way. One that has worked the steps and understands that the steps ARE the program. I have been told \u201cI needed to do the steps to get better, not get better before doing the steps.\u201d Worrying about someone else\u2019s (sponsors) feelings is secondary at this point. Especially given the fact that you feel like drinking. This is your life. Find another sponsor and send your old one a text that you are moving on if thats the only way you can get in touch with her. Your life is too important. Wishing you the best!", "comment": "I went to my 7am meeting this morning to grab my 90 day coin because my sponsor was going to be there and I was hoping to talk to her after the meeting to tell her that I want to find a new sponsor. She\u2019s been extremely hard to see in person (I\u2019ve tried twice in the last two weeks) and I know we both regularly attend the Thursday morning speaker meeting. I\u2019m tired of holding onto this information now that I know what I want to do and I just wanted to tell her in person versus over the phone. \n\nI got there 25 minutes early but she came dashing in at 3 minutes of.  Oh well.  Then she whispered to me that she had to leave at 7:30. Ughhhh. Okay. Whatever. So it came time to the coins, and I was the only one to get one. Yay me!! However, as luck would have it, our speaker was a no-show and the chairperson said \u201cLucky you! You will be our speaker today!\u201d And he then moved on to the other portions of the meetings after the coin portion. My sponsor then whispered to me quite forcefully across another person sitting between us \u201cYou will pass\u201d \u201cYou will pass. You are not ready. Pass.\u201d  I didn\u2019t think much but all I remember hearing in the rooms was you never turn down an AA opportunity when asked. And then I was annoyed because, if any of you remember my sponsor, this is the one who won\u2019t let me do my steps, who took 3 years to do her own steps, and is just very full of telling me what she wants my program to be and not what I need it to be and how sick I feel. (See my previous post under my profile if interested) So then when the guy asked me to speak, I said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m not ready yet, so I\u2019m going to pass today.\u201d \n\nHe kind of hesitated and almost sighed. He then asked for someone else to share. And after about 30 seconds someone else volunteered. But at the end of the meeting that chairperson came up to me and told me \u2018You should call your sponsor bc no one turns down an AA opportunity when asked\u201d and walked away before I could say anything in response. I\u2019ve been feeling upset and resentful all day. My sponsor can\u2019t answer my calls because she\u2019s at a conference. Not that I want to really talk to her anyway. I went to another meeting and shared there but it didn\u2019t really help. And I just feel like the stupid new kid. And I just want to drink. I know it\u2019s dumb. But I just feel like I don\u2019t fit in with the club. Like I did the wrong thing. And it was my sponsor who told me not to. Ugh. I just feel stupid. Thanks for listening. I will not drink but it\u2019s just all these awful feelings.", "post_id": "bs9k9k"}, {"question": "If you can\u2019t stop them completely delay them as much as possible. Be gentle with yourself. I see you using words like failed. Every effort you make is a step in the right direction. If it were so easy you could give it up in a day, no one would need support for OCD. take pride in what you have accomplished, learn from your mistakes and remember that ERP is done gradually for a reason.", "comment": "Would doing my compulsions outside of erp hours damage my erp or would it be best to still do my compulsions outside of erp to keep myself calm?", "post_id": "hkb2te"}, {"question": "Basically it seems that if anyone takes over 30mg of diazepam a day, they are significantly at risk of dependency. So for alprazolam that would be 1.5mg a day.\n\nStill, its all about using it when needed only, and recognising that benzodiazepines are a plaster rather than a cure. If you need something longer term, then antidepressants and talking therapies are much more appropriate.", "comment": "I have very bad generalized anxiety~ and most days I try to tough it out and handle it by mediating and other techniques I have learned in therapy.\nWhen I want to do things like go shopping or stuff that is \"out of routine\" or whatever I want to be able to take at least .25 mg. My question is how often a week can I do this without becoming physically addicted?\nAge: 20 Height: 5'7 Weight: 140 g: female Medications: trazadone, xanax", "post_id": "6syfu0"}, {"question": "You have a pretty ideal situation with a built-in excuse.  You used to see each other a lot, now you don't.  Next time you run into her, strike up a conversation and ask how things are going with what she's doing since you haven't seen each other.  Ask her if she wants to get a drink after work or give her your number and tell her to call/text if she ever wants to grab a drink or lunch or whatever you feel comfortable with for a date/hang out.  ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8sogeo"}, {"question": "Look into your state's mental health department/ see if there is a local community mental health center. They provide therapy/psychiatry at low/no cost for people who cant pay.\n\nAlso- if she is actively manic or suicidal- take her to a hospital. Do NOT risk it. Regardless of money they can not turn her away. Personally, I work as a therapist at an inpatient hospital and we see lots of people who have no money or insurance. We get them stable, and get them prescriptions before they are discharged. So consider that an option.", "comment": "I really don't know if this is the correct subreddit to post in, but I'm at a loss. Also I'm using a throwaway because I don't want my redditor friends to know this personal information.\n\nIf it matters, I'm a 16 year old female and my mother is 48 and divorced.\n\nAbout seven years my mom and dad separated. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. My parents were off an d on for about four years and then they finally called it quits. I don't remember much from that time, but I do remember her not going to work and sleeping all the time. During this time my grandmother (her mom) raised my brother and me. My mom, brother, and I all lived with my grandma up until 2011. My dad was almost completely out of my life.\n\nShe has been admitted to a mental health facility/hospital at least two times and has taken many different medications and has gone to many different psychiatrists. She says none of them help her and they over medicate her.\n\nIf this matters, my dad recently told me that when I was about 11 she had a drug problem and was raped. I can't say that this is reliable information or that I believe it. It does seem to make sense though. Her three older siblings tormented her as a child.\n\nAbout 1 year ago, my grandma kicked my mom out of her house for financial issues they had. My mom was left with absolutely nothing. She had a medical leave of absence from work, no car, no money, and no home. Luckily my dad (her ex husband) saved the day and took both of us in. Within two weeks he kicked her out for her behavior and lived from home to home. Ever since then she has many financial and mental issues.\n\nAbout 4 months ago, my grandma and my mom made amends.\n\nHer mental state affects me a lot. I am the one who takes care of her 24/7 and I feel like I'm never going to have a life of my own because she depends on me so much. In the last 6 months, she has had her re-possessed and we have come close to being evicted twice.\n\nMy mom and I just got into a huge fight. I feel like I make her miserable and worse. I feel like I am her trigger. I told her this and she said \"Well if I don't have you, I might as well kill myself.\" She has said things like this before, but she seems completely serious. About fifteen minutes ago she apologized and cried that she didn't want to be alone.\n\nShe is currently not taking any medications nor is she seeing a mental health professional. She has money problems and absolutely no one to help her.\n\nI'm at a complete loss. I have no idea what I should do. I have no one else I can ask for help. I love my mom so much and would do anything to help her.\n\nSo what do you guys think I should do? How can I help my mom? What have you guys done in a situation similar to mine?", "post_id": "xdmw5"}, {"question": "Talk to your gyn. Make sure it isn't medical. Some women are prescribed tiny amounts of testosterone to boost libido. ", "comment": "I don't have a sex drive. Growing up, sex wasn't ever appealing to me, but I thought I was just a normal kid. I've had a few serious relationships before my marriage, going on 2 years, but nothing big. When my SO at the moment asked for sex or tried to spark a moment, I'd avoid it or force myself to give in. \nMy husband has a healthy drive and a great deal of patience. He puts up with my lacking urge wonderfully, yet we both know it's affecting our relationship. I am his first everything: girlfriend, love, kiss, and all. I'm worried that he'll grow curious for what's out there, what he's missing. \n\nAre there any ways to increase sex drive? Should I allow him to have an open relationship? I don't want us to suffer because I can't put out...", "post_id": "6rvt0x"}, {"question": "Although it's somewhat arbitrary, the threshold for a fever is 100.4 F (37.0 C). Even a temperature of 100.0 is not febrile. There's also individual variation in baseline: some people just normally tend to run hotter or colder. Even if you did have low-grade fevers, there is not any benefit to treating it except comfort, and whether you feel comfortable or not is not necessarily based on whether you are by objective standards febrile.", "comment": "Early 20's Caucasian female, healthy weight, diagnosed with endometriosis (which I've had since I was a young teen). When I first developed symptoms of endometriosis I started on birth control, and once that lost its effectiveness I switched to progesterone only pills, which I've been on continuously for the past five years. I had surgery and was also on Lupron for one year. I have an identical twin who seems to have lupus and is currently being treated for that, but I also have some autoimmune symptoms and several blood markers indicative of SLE. \n\nOne of the potentially autoimmune symptoms that has been bugging me the longest - for a little over 4 years now - is a chronic low grade fever. Ever since this started, my normal baseline temperature has raised slightly to 98.6 (this is when I don't have a fever). Almost like clockwork on a near daily basis, my temperature will rise to about 99.5 around noon and stay that way until late in the evening. There's some fluctuation of course - sometimes my temperature is lower, at about 99.2-99.3, other times it's a little higher, but it rarely breaks 100. It will occasionally dip back down to the 98.6 range throughout the day, and the feverish feelings seem to reach their peak in the late afternoon and early evening.\n\nI've never received a proper answer as to what this could be. For a while it was thought to be autoimmune, but once it was discovered that my case isn't straightforward, I was kind of dropped by my doctors... I don't have a severe autoimmune disease, or a difinitive one that's obvious. My doctors who aren't well versed in gynecology or endometriosis say that it's probably hormonal. My gynecologist says it's not, because I'm not estrogen deficient in the way that these other doctors think I am (he says most doctors really don't understand hormones well or how to read hormone panels). He says that even though I am somewhat estrogen deficient, he's never known of any patient who developed a fever due to the kind of hormone therapy I'm on. \n\nThis has become very frustrating. I live somewhere that gets very hot during the summer, and I feel like I can't even go outside anymore. I feel cold and clammy but also hot and feverish for long stretches of time almost every day. The only solution I've been offered is to take Tylenol every day, making sure I don't exceed 3,000 mg. I don't like this option because I don't like the idea of just downing painkillers every day when I'm not in a lot of pain. \n\nDo you know of any other methods to control a low-grade fever that don't involve taking painkillers? ", "post_id": "8y0xoy"}, {"question": "Severe depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation is likely too much to attempt to handle solely on your own or with self-help materials. It would be highly advisable to get a mental health professional involved. \n\nSince you have had a bad experience in the past, it might be helpful to seek it out in a different location/area and to possibly use connections with medical professionals you do have a good relationship with, like a family doctor for example. They can help you ease into it.", "comment": "A few years ago, I voluntarily checked myself into the local psych ward because I had severe depression and was starting to get pretty suicidal. This was a bad decision - the experience was bad enough that since then, I've fit most of the criteria for PTSD.\n\nSo obviously my mental health has only gotten worse since then, but I'd be at best extremely anxious about seeking professional help for it. Am I just screwed altogether, or are there other paths that I can take?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "ecvv1o"}, {"question": "After my one year it became even more empowering to go through experiences like that. I will not drink with you today ", "comment": "Last week my work team held an afterwork get together at a local bar to celebrate meeting a goal and it honestly reaffirmed my decision not to drink.   Here are the reasons\n\nI arrived with everyone just about the same time.  I order an Arnold Palmer thinking that I didn't want a normal soda water that I normally get.  I start talking to one co worker and I am having a great time.  However, I start to notice somethings.   Everyone around me is on their 2nd to 3rd drink within a 30 minutes of arriving and I'm just finishing my first Arnold Palmer.   The person I am talking with has already had 3 vodka sodas..   Then it basically turns into a shit show of people letting lose talking bad about other coworkers, flirting with me(I'm married) and just general nonsense.  I just realized that before I stopped drinking these were the people that I used to drink heavily with when I was drinking and I can only imagine the things I've said and done that were similar.  I left there happy/proud that I wasn't drinking and on a better path now.   Fast forward to the next morning and people roll into work looking like death and Im feeling amazing.   This all led to me to reaffirm my commitment to myself to not drink.   I was really thinking about celebrating my one year sober by having a drink!  Now I know I'll celebrate it by not having a drink!\n\nTLDR: Went to a work party, everyone got smashed but me and they talked crap about each other.  I reaffirmed my goal to not drink on my upcoming 1 year anniversary of sobriety. ", "post_id": "69ko05"}, {"question": "if he's stalking call the police", "comment": "I have really fallen for my SO over the past few months, but her ex is being a constant pain in the ass. We have done everything we could to cut him out of the picture but he always finds a way to contact and push buttons. I tell my SO that it doesn't bother me because at first it didn't but now it really is and I don't know what to do? HELP!! Should I distance myself from her until it blows over? Speaking to her about it is pointless because we have tried everything to make it stop!!!", "post_id": "66cvne"}, {"question": "Nope.  Not at all.  That's how you turn acquaintances into friends.  Just try not to go too fast all at once or they'll feel like they're being interrogated.  ", "comment": "I want to get to know people.\n\nI have hobbies, but I tend to only talk about the hobby.\n\nIs it strange if I ask people what's going on in their lives?\n\nWhat are their dreams, ambitions, wishes. What made them happy. What made them think...\n\nI just don't want to touch on any sensitive spots. I know I have a few events lately that hurt me a lot that I don't want to think about right now.", "post_id": "97910m"}, {"question": "Not sure if you are in the US. Is it possible to look into low-income housing in your area? There may be legal action to look into; I'm just not entirely sure. Maybe talking with the state department who is assisting with in-home support services about this.", "comment": "Basically, my dad is an ableist piece of shit. Both he and my mom are emotionally abusive towards me. I'm trying to leave when I can afford rent, but for now I'm here. And I need in-home support services to help with laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc (homemaker) and another to help with my medical paperwork. I am on a disability waiver program to get these in-home support services paid through the state. But, my parents won't let \"those welfare people\" into \"their house.\" There is no arguing with a narcissist. So if they won't be rational, is there any legal action that I can take? I'm running out of options, if it isn't obvious. No other friends or family to live with.", "post_id": "dftd2h"}, {"question": "I think helpful advice has been given and this is turning into an argument instead. Closing the discussion.", "comment": " someone broke into my house and poisoned me, I know I have something under my skin because the person that did it told me so. What do I do to get it out of my system? Where do I go and what do I say? I know for sure I have something in me that keeps ruining my body but have no idea how to get it out. They said that I have tattoos under my skin that keep aging me also that drinking water is bad for me. I can feel my organs under stress and I'm also restless all the time, I can feel something like a heartburn sometimes, and I used to vomit in the morning occasionally but now I don't. I got poisoned twice, one time around a half a year ago and a second time around three weeks ago.\n\nI am 22 years old male 180 cm in height I have schizophrenia currently taking 15 mg olanzapine and have no other medical problems", "post_id": "ealjks"}, {"question": "Since it is now over 5 hours ago since you posted I hope you were able to finish it okay!", "comment": "TL;DR: got distracted looking through Pinterest at Miraculous fanart, now it's 4:30 and I probably won't go to bed. Yay, me.\n\nSo, yeah, I have known about this paper since Wednesday, but I got busy doing other things (mainly internet and netflix related). Now, it's 4:30 am the day it is due, and I have been on the internet since 11:00. I have to wake up at 7:00 am. I'm probably going to end up watching netflix once I'm done with my paper, because otherwise, I'm not going to get up in time for class.\n\n*sigh* just a rant. Carry on with your day (or night, I guess). Start your homework, if you haven't already. Go to bed. Do something more productive than Reddit.\n\nGoodbye for now, everyone!", "post_id": "635b91"}, {"question": "I love that story, so many great passages in it. \"Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations\"", "comment": "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away. From that moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to drink.\n\nAnd acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation\u2014some fact of my life \u2014unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God\u2019s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life\u2019s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.\n\nShakespeare said, \u201cAll the world\u2019s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.\u201d He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God\u2019s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.\n\n-Alcoholics Anonymous, page 417", "post_id": "keankw"}, {"question": "You could also ask in r/AskPsychiatry.\n\nYou don't really have a specific question here. If you have insurance, even through your parents, there should be a number on the card that you can call for mental health services. The networks they have can be frustrating to access and getting to see someone can take months regardless. University health services might at least be a start for you, and they might be able to make a referral.", "comment": "My university's health services are notoriously bad and I'll have to wait months to see someone. I'm in the US btw. I can't really talk to my parents about it because they don't believe in mental health issues, they think I just have a discipline problem. I'm 20 years old.\n\nFor context, I worked hard in high school and got into a very good college, but am now essentially unable to do anything. I constantly feel anxiety in my stomach and have a hard time even checking my email, and I can't even muster the motivation to get up in the morning. It may just be me being a lazy POS, but I feel like I should talk to someone.\n\nPlease lmk if I should post this elsewhere.", "post_id": "hbn2op"}, {"question": "Congratulations and hang in there.  Day 3 was the worst for me by a mile.\n\nDefinitely call people; they give you their numbers for a reason, and odds are you'll be helping them (without realizing it) as much as you're helping yourself by reaching out.  As they say, numbers only work if you use 'em.\n\nAnother tip that helped me is to eat brown rice.  Something about the sugars in brown rice is the same or similar to the sugars in alcohol, which is one of the things your body is craving so severely.  It was explained to me early on but I forget the exact reason (sorry 'bout that).\n\nIn any case, hang in there.  You're doing great so far.", "comment": "Day three ya'll. This is really fucking hard. I went to a day meeting, and then a night time young persons' meeting. During the entire young persons' meeting, and after the night meeting where we all went to a diner afterwords, unless someone was talking to me I was in a bad mood. The thought of a cold beer was (and right now currently still is) sounding like an amazing idea. The taste, the feeling, everything about it.\n\nI've also told myself to stop smoking while I'm doing this, since I've pretty much only every smoked while drunk, but today a fellow AA member let me have a cigarette. It didn't really help all that much.\n\nI've got the shakes, everything is pissing me off. I went for a straw and only picked up an empty straw wrapper for my root beer and wanted to hit something. Everything is irritating.\n\nI feel tired, but don't think I am going to be able to sleep. One lady told me yesterday to simply think, \"Today I didn't drink, and that's a good thing.\" I know it's good, but goddamn I want to drink right now.\n\nWhen a fellow AA member gave me their number today, my hands shook bad, and it was hard to type their info into my phone.\n\nI'm doing good, but fuck is it ever so fucking hard.\n\nThanks for reading. Sorry for the rant. Please someone tell me that everything is going to be okay.\n\n\n\nEDIT: I really feel like these are the moments where I should call someone, but I feel like I would be bugging them. Is this wrong?\n", "post_id": "udhs2"}, {"question": "I would bark whenever the dog barks... but I am fuckin' weird...", "comment": "A month or so back new neighbors moved in next door. The house is not far away from mine. They have been leaving their two german shepards outside tied on to a dog house in a small yard. Their yard is maybe a meter away from my bathroom and the rest of my house. \n\nI have problems with sensory integration, so loud unexpected noises bother me. Meltdowns, becoming voilent (towards stuff not people) and hurting myself ine xtreme cases. I use sensory integration therapy and weighted blankets and loud music to cope.\n\nBut this is crazy. I almost had a melt down because I had to take a shit but the dog was barking. It's so close to my bathroom it sounds like it's literally outside the wall barking at me.\n\nI CAN\"T GO OUTSIDE WHEN THE DOG IS OUTSIDE OR IT WIL BARK AT ME! I'm trying to overcome severe anxiety, maybe even post traumatic stress disorder. I'm inside all the time anyways. I tried to go outside just to put garbage in my shed, for the first time in months and my neighbor's dog started barking at me and I had a meltdown because I was outside 20 seconds. I'm a shut in and I don't want to be...usually it was just due to other anxieties not actual reasons.\n\nDoes anyone know what the appropriate way to deal with this situation is? I'm already coping with it by getting extra deep pressure input and music, and my Dad is going to phone animal control tomorrow. (I don't live with my parents though, I just don't want to deal with phoning them.)\n\nI also wrote this to vent a little bit. I haven't talked to my neighbor's at all since they moved in, or any of my neighbor's actually. (Maybe I would if I could go outside with their dog not barking at me!) So I just don't know how to talk to people in general...I really need to let them knwo though maybe. Animal control is closed on the weekends. ><", "post_id": "v6y08"}, {"question": "1. No, it's not common.\n2. Nothing is impossible, but it would be extremely unlikely for even a couple of extreme benders to cause any lasting damage to your kidneys or liver.\n3. You'd want a nephrologist for this, which I'm not. The gold standard tests are things like inulin clearance for glomerular filtration rate. In practice it's almost never used, and the simpler measurements of serum electrolytes and creatinine and urinalysis are used to evaluate kidney function.\n4. As above, potential donors' kidneys are evaluate most often by simple bloodwork; the overall evaluation of the donors is more thorough, but includes things like projecting long\\-term risk and assessment of reasons for donation.\n5. If you have healthy kidneys there's no much you need to do. Don't become dehydrated, keep your blood pressure under control, avoid developing diabetes or keep your blood sugar under control if you do.\n\nI'm left wondering whether this is kidney pain at all, and if it is whether it's due to, say, kidney stones. Possibly you had kidney stones before that were small and hurt only while drinking, and now they're more significant.", "comment": "Age: 30    Weight: 120    Sex: Male   Race: White   Location: Kidneys    Length of Time: 3 years    Past Medical History: Healthy     Medications - Pentoxifylline\n\nI started noticing dull pain sensation in left kidney every time after drinking alcohol starting 3 years ago. It was directly correlated to drinking alcohol as the symptoms were not present otherwise. Drinking has in my opinion been done in moderation however for the past 2-3 years I have stopped drinking altogether. There were however maybe 2 or 3 occasions when I was younger in which I drank to the point where I may have done some long term damage. Recently, slight twinges and pain sensations in both kidneys have come about recently even after not drinking alcohol. Questions are below:\n\n1. I was not aware of kidney pain being related to alcohol, is this common?\n2. Is it possible for 2 or 3 heavy drinking events to cause long term damage to kidneys or would it have to be an accumulation of heavy drinking over time?\n3. What are the gold standard tests/exams to check for kidney function?\n4. How are kidney donors tested to confirm they have healthy kidneys for transplants?\n5. What are some tips to promote healthy kidney function?", "post_id": "8eysv3"}, {"question": "Learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck. \n\nIn short: step 1; decide what not to give a fuck about, step 2; do NOT give a fuck about it. \n\nElse: identify the toxic things and people in your life that keep pulling you down; keeping you stagnant and have no significant addition to your life and simply cut them off. ", "comment": "Hello, everyone. Forgive me, posting to Reddit isn't something I do too often, so this might not be too high quality or the right length.\n\nI spent a while getting really close with a girl to try and get with her. While we ending up becoming really good friends, it never went past that, and I honestly reacted in a really poor way. I'm 19 and have never really had a real crush/attraction to someone before her, which was only conflated by depression and loneliness I've had for a while. She's been the only thing on my mind for almost half a year now, and I honestly believe I'm in love with her. I tried to just be friends with her, but I've decided I can't fall in love with someone else if she's in my life. She doesn't understand this, and thinks we should just be friends. \n\nI've cut off communications with her for two months now, and I don't plan on ever reestablishing contact. This would be the end of the story, but we're both moving to the same college campus next year. I'm excited to move out of my house and start a new life, but something that's causing me large amounts of anxiety is the fear that I'm going to meet her somewhere or see her. The advice I've been getting a lot is to join clubs or go out, but we share a lot of the same interests, and I'm worried that I can't do any of the activities I want without her being around. Something that further complicates matters is that my roommate is one of my best friends, but he's also best friends with her, and is trying to get me to just be friends with her (which is something that I don't think I can do with the way I feel about her). We're getting a small room, and I can't help but worry my friend will invite her over to try and get us together. I don't have any hard feelings towards her, but I'd just like to be left alone.\n\nSo, my question would either be:\n\n\"How do I avoid this person while doing the things I like to do?\" or \"How do I handle it if we accidentally meet somewhere?\" Thanks.", "post_id": "8yhjv1"}, {"question": "Without a comprehensive diagnostic assessment, it is impossible to say what is motivating this behavior. There are so many unknown factors, from potential recent stressors to potential childhood trauma and everything in between, that would all need to be examined. However, I would encourage your friend to meet with a therapist. While we don\u2019t know why, she is definitely engaging in risky behavior that could have an enormously negative impact on her life. I would express your concern and offer to help her find a local therapist. If other friends or family are also aware of her behavior, you could enlist their help/suggest that they have a similar conversation with her about their concerns and encourage therapy. \n\nGood luck.", "comment": "My oldest friend and i had a few drinks last night and she told me that she started stealing from department stores about 3 months ago. She doesnt need what she steals she does it because she can. She said its not even exciting. I was shocked, she has a good job and alot going for her. Can any therapist shed some light on why she has started doing this? Shes in her 30's! \n\nThanks", "post_id": "c4wf5c"}, {"question": "You've probably been immunized. If not, you've gotten hep A in the past and are now immune the hard way.", "comment": "27 year old female. 5'6, 160 lbs. In the midst of getting a possible celiac disease diagnosis. Meds: Concerta 27mg, Rexulti .5mg, Zoloft 100mg, Vistaril (as needed).\n\nI'm freaking out a little because in looking at some blood work results on a MyChart-like system, it says this:\n\n\nComponent - Hep A Total Ab\n\nYour Value - Positive\t      \n\nStandard Range - Negative\n\n\n\n\nThe nurse practitioner I spoke with over the phone said NOTHING about this? Can anyone give me some insight? My doc isn't answering the phone.", "post_id": "9d6qnn"}, {"question": "Depression is a very good liar, don\u2019t believe what it tells you about your worth. Don\u2019t believe what it tells you when it says you are a bad person. \n\nI\u2019m glad that you chose to give yourself another chance. You should call your therapist or somebody who can help keep you safe if you need to \u2764\ufe0f", "comment": "I know it's stupid and I'm not looking for pity or compliments. I just want to get this off my chest. \n\nI've been here before and I've gotten myself out of dark places before. But I'm just tired. You work so hard to get yourself into a good, healthy, self-love place and it all just crumbles so damn quickly. And i'm just too tired to do it all again. \n\nAt the end of the day, i know I won't do it because if i was, i wouldn't be here writing this. I know that life has so much for me and i know that when wake up tomorrow i have so many opportunities to make my life better. I also know i don't deserve it. I've fooled everyone into thinking, from my friends and family to my therapist that I'm a good person, but it's bullshit. \n\nI guess there was no real point to this post. If you've read this far then I'm sorry for wasting your time, but if you can relate then take solace in knowing you aren't alone in your feelings. If you can't relate, be grateful x", "post_id": "bur7px"}, {"question": "That's very common, especially among women/girls. For whatever reason there's a lot of societal pressure for girls to be more passive in relationships, let the guy take charge, go along with what he says, etc etc. From personal experience it's hard to shake that habit even when you realize it causes problems, lol.\n\nUp to you if it bothers you too much or not. If you end up in a longer-term relationship with her, it may be worth asking her about (respectfully!). Or, you could even say now that you'd love for her to initiate sometime if she feels comfortable with it. Or you could wait and she might warm up to the idea later. For now, I wouldn't be TOO worried.", "comment": "Long story short I've been talking for this girl for a few days and we've had some good long conversations. However I don't feel like she ever initiates anything. Is that a bad sign or is that how girls are all the time? Do I always have to make the move to try to make any advances with her?", "post_id": "e5p3jt"}, {"question": "A sexologist could help you to understand each other. Not thinking about sex until it happens doesn't have to be abnormal, but that doesn't mean you can't be struggling with it.", "comment": "Last week, my wife of almost 12 years told me that she hasn't found another person sexually attractive in a purely physical sense for about 10 years. She also said that she never physically desires sex until after we've already started having sex. She says that it feels good once we start and that she enjoys it, but all that I can hear is that she isn't EVER interested beforehand and that it's uncomfortable to her to get going. \n\n​\n\nI am concerned for her sexual health and identity and want to do whatever I can to help her. I am horrified at the idea that she hasn't been physically attracted to anyone, INCLUDING ME, for the past 10 years. I'm embarrassed both that she hasn't been attracted to me and upset with myself for not learning of this issue sooner. We are seeking a local marriage counselor, but I wanted to post here as well, mainly for the cathartic ability to speak selfishly while still seeking potentially helpful advice. I have been processing her comment since last Tuesday and I think I'm ready to get some feedback. Trying to decide how much detail to give is difficult, here's my best effort. \n\n​\n\nLately, my wife and I have been struggling to get along as easily as we used to. We started dating when we were 18 years old, got married at 22, and had our first child at 25(her)/26(me). Following our oldest child's birth, I noticed that my wife's libido seemed to be lessened. I don't just mean for a month or three after birth, I mean that our child was 18 months old and my wife was still far less interested in sex than she had previously been.\n\n​\n\nSince our oldest child was born, she has consistently explained her diminished (and continually diminishing) libido in a variety of ways, but the overriding explanation she has given is that she is \"tired.\" As her libido has trended down from 4-5 times a week to once every 3 to 4 weeks, I have spent time trying to fix whatever the cause of the loss is. She has been on post-partum zoloft after our two younger children were born and I'm aware of the effect that it can have on libido, but the diminished libido remained even after she weaned off.\n\n​\n\nWith her complete lack of lust as an explanation, her failure to initiate and her feeling too tired for sex takes on a far different light. Suddenly, I can understand why chores would be more important than sex. If you have no desire for sex and you feel tired, you're not going to want to ignore the dishes in the sink to go fool around. With this info, I can wrap my head around her actions/reactions to things, her lack of initiation, etc. It finally makes sense. \n\n​\n\nWhile I can subjectively understand it now, if I place myself in her place and imagine a total lack of lust, I can't imagine being okay with being in that state. Selfishly, I want to be pursued in the same way that I pursue her. I want to be desired too. If I had known this before we were married, it would have been a deal breaker for me.\n\n​\n\nI'm not really sure what I'm asking for or expecting by posting this, but I'm hoping someone with experience might be able to tell me that there is hope and that it's worth it to put in the work. (I can't imagine that this will be a quick or easy thing to fix, and that's assuming that \"fix\" is even the correct word. Maybe I'm a selfish dick and there's nothing wrong with her. Maybe I'm the one with a problem and sex once a month is normal. I suspect that's not true, but I should probably find out before I make some comment about it.) \n\n​\n\nBased on her self reported timeline, the loss of physical lust pre-dates our oldest child's birth, and theoretically isn't related only to Zoloft. She recently switched birth control from Progesterone to Apri, but with no apparent effect, although that could be contributing.", "post_id": "c1sx8a"}, {"question": "Polite reminder : you are responsible for your mental illness", "comment": "Do not let BPD define you as a person, its only a part of you.\n\nTake care of yourselves \u2665\ufe0f", "post_id": "eg58sa"}, {"question": "Me too!  There is actually a concept called \"Paralysis of Will\" for ADHD.  When presented with a task, our minds can shut down from being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. It has nothing to do with being \"Lazy\".   ", "comment": "Soooo I just noticed that when I get totally overwhelmed, I drop everything and look at Reddit or other sites.  Good to know.\n\nHope everyone reading this has a really great day!", "post_id": "60vvpc"}, {"question": "I\u2019m a psychiatrist. What you describe can be treated with medications (such as SSRIs and NAC) and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It\u2019s actually quite common.", "comment": "Hi, throwaway obviously because this is really disgusting and embarrassing, but I have never been able to get answers and hoping someone can help.\n\n​\n\nI am your perfectly average male, very sporty and work out a lot, have a great social life/family/friends/girlfriend but what they all dont know is how much I have to eat anything from my body. Since I can every remember I have always picked and ate my own scabs, boogers, dandruff, fingernails (only when once cut), eye goop, blackheads (these are by far my favorite), eyelashes and even pubes. \n\n​\n\nI am puzzled because I do not like and have no interest in consuming piss, shit, hair from anywhere except pubes, or very thick hairs like nipple hairs, semen or large amount of blood. If I get a cut I do like to lick it though or eat the scabs.\n\n​\n\nThis isn't something that is a treat for me, it is more like I have to eat it! I understand it is gross and I don't know why. I like the taste of all of them the texture of a chewy big blackhead it the best, but it is at a point where I don't want to have this issue. It hasn't impacted my life in anyway because I am always stealthy about it, but I know it can't be healthy.\n\n​\n\nI need to do it so bad that for instance if I have a big piece of dandruff  fall that I am aware of, if I don't get to eat it I get anxious. I have eaten dandruff off of bathrooms floors (my own), desks, pretty much anywhere. Somethimes when I am studying I will shake my hair for ages until the whole desk is covered in flakes and then pick the big pieces out or like the whole desk.\n\n​\n\nSorry if this is gross but please I just want answers", "post_id": "c6yvb3"}, {"question": "I got hugs from several TSA officers this past weekend thanks to looking like shit from grieving my dog\u2019s passing. I didn\u2019t feel that it was inappropriate of them and definitely would not have any complaint for any HR department.\n\nI feel like death is one of those things that makes hugs okay as long as the person is open to it", "comment": "I am a manager. My employee told me her grandfather had passed away and so I initiated a hug. \n\nShe did not seem to mind and from my point of view appreciated my sympathy. My wife was visiting my work when this happened and thinks the hug was inappropriate since I am her direct supervisor and I have only known her for 2-3 months. She thinks I need more boundaries in a work place setting.\n\nThe employee is a pretty attractive woman and even though I am her direct supervisor, I see her as more of a peer/ coworker. \n\nYour opinion please.", "post_id": "ce9mgd"}, {"question": "Honestly, not sure if its ADHD. Sounds more like demotivation and the fact that theres a million other pleasurable things you can do instead of your studies. Still, if you're concerned, go see a doctor.", "comment": "I know deep inside what I need to do. I never do it though. Its recursive.\n\n1/20 times I do something I actually plow through the work. (I'm talking about academics) Now the challenge is to get myself to do things right those 19/20 times!\n\nI went through a denial phase when I realized that I have to take a course again after getting a straight F in it. I was like \"maybe I should just switch out of ECE.\"\n\nI'm taking it again this semester and got my first test back. I got a mid B on it. I'm disappointed. I need an A in this class to offset that failure that I had last semester.\n\nAnd its not like I got only a B while doing 100s of other productive things in life.\n\nI just have my sorry ass at home wasting my time on the internet. Its compulsive as fuck.\n\nI recently quit video gaming. But I realized that the time I waste gaming is spent doing other stupid shit. Like going online, having a super elaborate meal, etc.\n\nAnd its not just being a bad test taker. Its not like I'm working on some incredible personal projects either like some of my more successful peers have.\n\nI've always failed in life. Throughout middle school, high school, etc. I didn't even get into this school initially. I had to go to my backup school and transfer here which I even think I was a bit lucky.\n\nI really don't know how I can fix my compulsive habit of wasting time.\n\nPeople in some of my classes when I am in group study sessions always tell me in a non joking matter that I should really see a doctor since when I really do something and get my mind to it I do it well. But these situations are very rare for me. I keep walking around the room randomly and just don't focus.\n\nPlease. I'm really tired of being a failure. I am unable to master a skill or do anything...", "post_id": "5vdx0k"}, {"question": "By chance, did she have diphtheria or polio as a child?", "comment": "Not sure if this is allowed here, but I learned of this mystery over the weekend and I\u2019m curious. \n\nMy husband\u2019s great grandmother has a large scar on her back, between the shoulder blades, along the spine. There\u2019s no knowledge of what surgery she would have had, but here are the various stories from different members of the family/community \n\nShe was born with her heart on the wrong side of her body and it had to be fixed (old family friend reported this- obviously false- we wonder if it was a cover story the parents told around town for some reason, though?)\n\nShe had to have fluid removed from her lungs (this is the story she herself tells)\n\nShe had some other heart surgery (the rest of the family feels this must have happened- she\u2019s always been reported as having \u201cheart issues\u201d, potentially had rheumatic fever as a child and has leaky valves now).  \n\nSome details:\nThis would have happened circa 1935, plus or minus a few years, when she was less than 10 years old (born in 1930). She remembers being weak as a child and having to be carried up any stairs including at school. She believed she would not live to adulthood. \n\nAny ideas what surgery she may have had? I find it hard to believe they\u2019d go in from the back for either heart or lung issues, but hey, I\u2019m not a doctor, and certainly not an old timey 1930\u2019s doc. \n\nPlease let me know if I should provide any other information. She would never allow pictures to be taken or posted.", "post_id": "bl6yr3"}, {"question": "I think you need to talk to your therapist about how unsatisfied you are and name your specific concerns.  She may be able to provide more rationale for her approach or more information about her long term plan for your treatment.\n\nIf she is unable to address them, I would find a different therapist, and discuss with that person during the first session what you feel your needs are and what their approach would be.  You may want to look for somebody with specific expertise in treating trauma if you feel that your childhood experiences are playing a big role.  A good therapist will be able to explain to you clearly what their theoretical approach is, what the goals would be, and what results you should expect (although of course things change as the therapy progresses).\n\nThis is a good article on choosing a therapist: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/14/key-questions-to-ask-when-choosing-a-therapist/\n\nIt's really important to find a good fit, somebody whose style works for you and who has experience working with the kinds of issues that you are dealing with.", "comment": "My life since early adolescence has been a struggle. My home life as a kid was awful, including so much verbal & emotional abuse at the hands of my batshit mom & alcoholic stepdad as well as sexual abuse from another kid at one point. I spent years self harming, binge drinking and eating, and attempting suicide. I met a boy and now I'm a bit happier. Happy enough to try and get help. My GP gave me an SSRI and told me to book a therapist so I can stop the meds soon. My therapist told me to try breathing exercises.\n\nMy initial reaction to my therapist is anger. I don't think my problems are as simple as breathing, mindfulness. I've tried those methods independently and while they can help, they are not a cure. This SSRI is helping for now, but I don't want to go back to the life I was leading before. Even with my SO, even with the antidepressant, life is a struggle for me. I'm tired of struggling. What do I do? I feel like I want an actual diagnosis or a root cause, but my therapist is saying she sees no personality or mood disorder. \n\nHere are some of my symptoms for reference:\n\n* dissociation/depersonalization/derealization\n* panic attacks\n* constant anxiety over 1 billion little things\n* low self esteem \n* self hatred\n* suicidal thoughts\n* racing thoughts\n* insomnia at times, sleeping too much at others\n* inability to keep to a schedule\n* brain fog\n* cant enjoy anything\n* short attention span and memory \n* constantly tired\n* paranoia \n* super impulsive at times \n* self destructive urges\n* hypersensitivity \n* extremely insecure\n\nHelp.\n\n**TL;DR** my GP gave me an SSRI on the condition I go to therapy, my therapist thinks all I need is the power of positive thinking and mindfulness coping skills. I don't agree and feel there's something deeper.", "post_id": "4nnyvc"}, {"question": "Er, what neurologist would say that?", "comment": "Long story short, when I was younger, I fell off my bike, head hit the pavement. Over time I was attracted to girls younger and younger (exclusively) and I'm already at the point where I only like baby girls.  \nThe last neurologist visit confirmed that this accident was likely to be why.  \nHave you ever heard of anything quite like this happening? In real life I'm mostly a closet freak show. ", "post_id": "6c2e12"}, {"question": "This was me... the hangovers were my biggest problem... mentally and physically wrecked. Couldn't be there for my kids and husband in the normal ways. My drinking wasn't often out of control ( but was sometimes), it was the days after which really got me.\n\nChecking in here each day and making a clear decision to not drink each day really helped. I had to find other things to do to fill the down times.... and pure grit and determination. \n\nYou can do this. ", "comment": "I\u2019m sick of saying this every weekend but I need to stop drinking at least until Christmas. Anyone have any tips or words of advice ", "post_id": "9s19te"}, {"question": "it's a small sample. it's not you. who knows what people think and feel. most of the time they don't even know. just keep dating. you're fine!", "comment": "I've had three relationships and two which I considered serious. With these two serious relationships, both of them told me they couldn't fulfill their part in the relationship and didn't have that connection with beforehand. One of these relationships ended two days ago and I'm so depressed... he also said he can't do a relationship right now because school is stressing him out. At first he wanted to break up and said \"maybe down the road we can try again\" and \"I really value your friendship.\" Is there any chance of getting back together? He's actually a great guy but this depresses me. \n\nTL;DR: both serious relationships ended in saying they're not willing to put effort and the don't feel the same. I want to know if I can get back together with one who said maybe in the future we can try again and said he really values my friendship ", "post_id": "74vr6i"}, {"question": "you tell him what you need. if he won't respond or no compromise possible, then u decide whether the good is worth the bad", "comment": "Hello,\n\nMy husband has always been a gamer, but ever since we got married it has started taking over his entire life. \n\nHe plays around 12hours everyday. He basically only stops to eat and sleep... he doesn't work his parents pay all for him.\n\nWe barrely have any talking time at all. When he's playing he never answers me because he's too focused and when he's not, our conversations don't last long because he wants to continue playing. \n\nWhen I met him he already was a gamer and I didn't mind at all. I loved his hobby and loved watching him play. Besides playing he went to university and we spent lots of time outside talking about our future.\n\nHe's never been a very active person but he used to go out when I asked him too and talk a lot. Now that we're married he quit university and basically doesn't have a life outside of the room with his computer. I have told him several times I want him to game less, but he only lasts for a day...\n\nWhen I want to go anywhere I have to persuade him for days to go and even then he often cancells on the same day.\n\nRight now I'm in online university and need to study from home. Because we live in a one-room I have to bear with his gaming sound while studying and it's driving me crazy. I'll ask him to read a book so I can concentrate but he refuses. He just says he'll stop his game and surf the internet. But the clicking sounds is still annoying.\n\nAs the days pass by I'm starting to get really turned off by him. The only image I have of him all day his him playing, laughing at a screen chatting with strangers. \n\nWhat can I do to make him more active or minimise his playing? I already tried talking with him and threatening doesn't work. He just tells me to leave if I'm not happy...\n\nWhat can I do so that he finally starts having passions again? Something other than games.\n\n\n\n\n(Sorry for my English)\n\n", "post_id": "5vidc4"}, {"question": "Why did you need the iv fluid in the first place?", "comment": "so i had 3 or 4 ivs in 1 day in hospital. next day i was urinating frequently and drank a good amount of water. so i thought the urinating frequently may be because of lack of sodium, so i ate a bunch of salty chips real quick and now have a headache. and feel bad. i've read that after too many ivs you can cause problems by adding sodium too quickly.", "post_id": "5tm4jo"}, {"question": "Part of this is realizing you weren't actually attracted to him. He supplied a need, to feel listened to and to be made important. He made you feel like you matter and your issues are important too. He may have provided some calm. All of this and more led to you splitting on him, idolizing the behaviors and strengths you wish you had in yourself, and feeding into the desire to cross that boundary and equalize your relationship (since he knows all about you, and you know nothing about him). I promise you, I guaran-fucking-tee it, if you ever met this man outside of therapy and tried to date you wouldn't be as attracted to him nor would you feel this way. \n\nIt's just another way our emotions use intimacy as a way to manipulate our brain. It's another self destructive, maladaptive coping skill we subvert to because therapy is a vulnerable place. And being vulnerable is hard, so the defenses kick into overdrive. Don't get played by your insecurities", "comment": "So I am a 20 year old female with borderline, currently in treatment.\nMy therapist is the ultimate target when it comes to my severe daddy issues and need to feel loved and validated. \nHe's almost 40, tall, kind of good looking with a terrific sense of humor and the kind of therapist who feels a lot like a buddy more than a authority. \nAnd he's in a relationship with a woman who couldn't be more different than I am. \nAnd of course, my attraction started to get in the way of literally everything and I had to come clean because therapy simply will not work if I'm spending all my time trying to be the ultimate desirable romantic interest.\nHe let me down gently. I knew he would. I had no delusions whatsoever that he would feel the same way. It hurt all the same. I'm so fucking sad and humiliated and I try to be mature and cool but at the same time my heart aches because I wasn't enough.", "post_id": "ejefhg"}, {"question": "judgment call i'm afraid; everyone has diff. comfort zones in the realm of risk/reward.", "comment": "I was in a year long relationship with my ex (21M), I'm (20M). He dumped me in August and has recently asked me for a chance to fix things. I feel as if I have walls that can't be broken down, but I told him if he can win back my trust then I can try again.\n\n He broke up with me because of family issues he needed to deal with, and also I had anxiety which didn't help either. It was very hard on me, especially because I had to see him frequently. He seemed totally happy after the break up, as if he never loved me. I am in a much better place, but as of now I am confused on what I should do. I worked on my problems, but I'm worried if I learn to trust him, I will see that he hasn't worked on his issues and I'll have to end the relationship. \n\ntl;dr\nShould I take him back, or block him out of my life? My guard is up as of right now. ", "post_id": "5vy7l2"}, {"question": "I am also a former college administrator, and while what the other poster says is true, it's also not the whole story.  The college's priority is protecting itself from lawsuits-- that means a lot of things that won't seem fair might happen.  For example, if you are in the same dorm as the person who perpetrated against you, you would be the one who is asked to move if you don't want to be in the same vicinity, because nothing is yet proven against the perpetrator. Similarly for classes, etc.  A no contact order can be put in place, but that often won't help with the more insidious friend-of-a-friend harassment.\nBe prepared for a lot of people to question your account of things, and if your school's judicial board is not well trained (many are not-- in fact, most) they will ask questions that are invasive and down right victim blaming. \nThe process will likely be lengthy, and even if your perpetrator is found guilty, that doesn't necessarily mean expulsion-- often it can mean a suspension until the victim graduates, a suspension for a year, etc. \n\nI don't say this to discourage you from reporting, but rather to give you a realistic perspective. The school's priority is itself, not you, I am VERY sorry to say.  \n\nThis issue is why I'm a FORMER college administrator-- I found the way they handled assault and harassment cases horrible, and I couldn't in good conscience continue.\n\nYou may also want to check and see if your school is one of the many that is being investigated under title 9 (which covers sexual assault):http://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/us-department-education-releases-list-higher-education-institutions-open-title-i\n\nFeel free to PM me if you think it would be helpful.\n", "comment": "Has anyone had any experience with this? I'm at the crossroads on whether I go forward, and if the investigation comes to rape; then my rapist will be expelled. I'm absolutely terrified of retaliation, and so unsure of what to do.", "post_id": "2eagvi"}, {"question": "Aww that would be so hurtful and difficult to hear. I\u2019m so sorry. As someone that\u2019s known and been friends with many Russians and Eastern Europeans I know a lot of that is cultural.  Some more Americanized Americans tend to sugar coat things and use a lot of \u201cfluff\u201d in how they talk and interact with others especially the southern states where I was for 15 years (this isn\u2019t a criticism just an observation and I\u2019m totally guilty of this too also Canadians are probably extra fluffy and polite lol I grew up in both places so I\u2019ve seen it).   Sometimes it\u2019s about finding the right people who accept you for who you are. Some people might think those things for whatever reasons, others won\u2019t or they won\u2019t take it personally.  There are also ways to help soften some of your ways of being.  It sounds a bit like you didn\u2019t really have the role models growing up that were warm and fuzzy so you never really had the opportunity to learn what that\u2019s like. So there may be some things to adjust and work on, not completely change who you are. \n\nYou\u2019ve been given the opportunity to start being more aware of yourself and your ways of interacting.  You can start to notice when you might be coming off in these ways and see if there\u2019s a different way to word it to soften what you\u2019re saying. Did you bf give you any examples of when you\u2019re coming off cold or condescending? That might be a place to start.\n\nEdit: wanted to add it is really hard to find friends in your 30\u2019s, I\u2019m right there with you. The friends that I could reach out to all live really far away and I haven\u2019t really found them where I live now.", "comment": "Hello and thank you all for reading and weighing in. \n\nI\u2019m 35 and have been in the US for most of my life (since 7) - I don\u2019t have an accent. But I very much was shaped by my culture. My family is argumentative and my mom can be a bit mean and sharp herself. \n\nI have several friendships that have lasted over the years. But due to moving every other year when I was young, I got used to changing friends and not working on relationships. So it\u2019s something I\u2019m actively trying to work on now. \n\nI\u2019ve been complaining to my partner how I don\u2019t have a \u201cbest friend\u201d, that one girlfriend I can call anytime with anything. Someone to hang out with. In our mid 30s things are different I realize. \n\nAnyway my bf is telling me that I need to change how I am with people. That I can\u2019t be so cold. And people perceive me as condescending. I\u2019ve been told this before and he says he\u2019s heard from others similar experiences. \n\nI tend to get argumentative, I\u2019m kind of a know it all. \n\nI\u2019ve studied and practiced meditation for years. But don\u2019t practice daily. \n\nIs there hope for me? What can I do to improve my personality so people receive me better and so that I can build stronger more loving bonds with people in my life?", "post_id": "es0whp"}, {"question": "You started by talking about what sounds like a pretty bad deal that life threw at you.  Namely, having an ill mother who needs taking care of and your father leaving you to do it all on your own.  Along with the school stuff, your situation has just been awful.  \n\n\nMost people that think of suicide don't actually want to die.  What they want is an escape.  They want either an escape from all the stressors of their current situation and/or an escape from the pain they're experiencing.  Suicide seems like the quickest and easiest way to get this so a depressed mind goes there.  \n\n\nYou may need to DRASTICALLY change your situation to get a better handle on your own life.  This might require finding someone to take care of your mother, changing careers, changing where you live (maybe even to another town, country, etc.).  \n\n\nWhen faced with the possibility of making big changes like this, most people make up excuses of why they could never do that.   For anyone who's actually considering ending their lives (I believe a study showed 50% of all adults have thought about suicide at least once in their lives), if you're capable of ending your life, you're capable of doing any of the things I've described above and plenty more.  \n\n\nThe big question to really work on in therapy is how do you escape your pain, your situation, without killing yourself.  Damn all the anxiety, all the guilt, whatever is keeping you from getting to the place you need to be.  Working through it and taking necessary actions might be difficult, but they're possible.  Your life depends on it.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "bloai1"}, {"question": "No, your testosterone is not low.", "comment": "Heres the results of my DHEA and testosterone blood test.[here](https://imgur.com/a/ZtOXtGy)\n\nAbout me.\nMale\n21\nOn Humira\nCrohns diagnosis in 2012\nNo previous Medical issues\nUse cannabis recreationally\nNo other drug or alcohol use\n3 surgeries 2 of them being resections and one a hernia.\nI just began working out a week ago idk if that matters but prior i lived sedentary ", "post_id": "aj3kbi"}, {"question": "Yooo ready for a full Saturday of sunshine! Let\u2019s get it! IWNDWYT !", "comment": "The weekend is upon us.  Secure your grip and check your footing.  The Sober Train is rolling, let\u2019s all stay onboard!\n\nIWNDWYT!  CHOO CHOOO \ud83d\ude82", "post_id": "by13u4"}, {"question": "I never know. I just print a super bill and hand it to the patient/client/evaluee.  That is the end of my involvement.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hnjup4"}, {"question": "you need marriage counseling", "comment": "My daughter was born a little over a year ago.  The day she was brought home, my wife seemed to become a different person for good.  Much less relaxed, far less patient.  I know a lot of this is to be expected with a new child.  My wife cosleeps with the baby in a separate room, and at night I feel as though I am a stranger in my own home.  I sleep alone and in the morning, I kiss them bye before going off to a 9 - 5 job.\n\nI should clarify, my wife is a stay at home mom.  Before she was pregnant, I supported her for a couple of years so she could figure out what she wanted to do rather than work on her feet all day.  Ultimately, nothing came of that.  She has some depression, which has been helped a bit by taking Prozac.  Outside of the home, I virtually manage her life for her (against my liking).  I pay off debts, take care of appointments, plan social outings with friends for us.  As a father, it is still difficult for me to have something very meaningful with my daughter at such a young age.  I take her for regular stroller rides.  We go as a family to Disney, and I play with her as much as I can.  Our bond is good and getting better as she becomes more aware.\n\nNow, I am constantly being sieged about our struggling finances.  I make a good living, but we spend too much, and without two incomes, it is harder to get by.\n\nFor the last three-four years, she has had very little interest in sex, which has in the last two years dropped to zero interest.  She begrudgingly has sex with me a couple of times a week, frankly because she knows the relationship would implode very quickly if she were to cut that off as well as sleeping together.\n\nMy mom helps by watching our daughter whenever my wife needs rescuing, or when we have a date night, which is a couple of times a week.\n\nI am just not seeing much progress with my wife, and we have spent a lot of money on couples therapy and sex therapy.  I am very discouraged about all aspects of the marriage.\n\nHer communication is absolutely terrible.  Not long ago, we had an argument that started by me asking her flat out how she felt about our marriage - if she was happy, if she wanted to work on things.  She always says she is disenchanted with sex (claims she has no drive at all and isn't turned on by anything).  After the argument, she closed the door to her (and the baby's room) and wrote in her journal.  A few days later, feeling at a complete impasse, I decided to locate the journal, and read it.  I suppose I have some trust issues and often find out information that shouldn't be kept from me through spying.  To my horror, she had written that I was a slob and that living with me was like living with an adolescent.  She said I couldn't hold a steady job. (Not true, I have fully supported us for years, and have residuals from a side business coming in monthly.)  Her words were downright mean and showed me a resentful side of her I had not seen before.  With this information, I confronted her and went through each line of the few pages she had written on, asking for clarification.  I was furious at all she had withheld and wanted an explanation.\n\nShe wanted me to help more with house chores.  I have expanded beyond doing yardwork and taking out garbage and diapers/light housekeeping to doing several loads of laundry with her.  This seems to have helped somewhat, but I feel we are still on the brink of alienation.\n\nWhat can I do to improve my marriage?  I feel drained being the gatekeeper of communication all the time.", "post_id": "78iszf"}, {"question": "This is a beautiful thought from a great thinker.  Thanks for passing it on.  I stopped drinking when I was 23 and I'm 58 now.  I don't regret it.  I'm still working on keeping that channel open. \n\nHere's another:\n\nAn adult is a person who is not governed by demands for immediate pleasure, comfort and excitement. Moreover an adult is able to organize the events and emotions of their life into a memory, a rough meaning, a story. An adult understands that the world belongs primarily to the dead and we only rent it from them for a little while. They created it, they wrote its literature, its songs and are deeply invested in how children are treated because children are the ones who will keep it going. The adult is the one who has been able to preserve his or her intensities, including the intensities proper to their generation. An adult is one who goes out and gathers jewels of feeling for others. Finally, the adult understands renunciation.\n\n", "comment": "\"In the greatest confusion there is still an open channel to the soul. It may be difficult to find because by midlife it is overgrown, and some of the wildest thickets that surround it grow out of what we describe as our education. But the channel is always there, and it is our business to keep it open, to have access to the deepest part of ourselves\u2014to that part of us which is conscious of a higher consciousness, by means of which we make final judgments and put everything together. The independence of this consciousness, which has the strength to be immune to the noise of history and the distractions of our immediate surroundings, is what the life struggle is all about. The soul has to find and hold its ground against hostile forces, sometimes embodied in ideas which frequently deny its very existence, and which indeed often seem to be trying to annul it altogether.\"\n\n-Saul Bellow, Noble Prize Winner.\n\nThis quote needs some clarification (it is a comment on his great novel *Herzog*, about a man in deep crisis). By soul/higher consciousness, he means this in a very literal (rather than mystical) way. 'Higher consciousness' here does not mean 'god' necessarily, (quite frankly, I see nothing specifically religious about his statement), merely a set of beliefs we regard as great. We all have them: e.g. I want to quit drinking, I want to be a better person, I want to lose weight, whatever... they differ from person to person, but we make certain goals or ideals at certain times. To use an analogy, I like to think of it as a back-up drive to a computer, separate from the main thing.\n\nBut reality is not so clean, not so focused. Reality can be cruel. Reflecting on history can be depressing (our own personal histories, and the history of civilisation). But we can always return to those initial statements we made. To continue the computer analogy, we're bound to get a virus, our computer is going to freeze, etc... we have to reboot now and again. Clear the drives, delete the unnecessaries, update our software. But we have that backup. And it's our job to keep it updated. To refer to it. Amend it if need be. This, as Bellow points out, is what the life struggle is all about.\n\nThanks for your help /r/stopdrinking!", "post_id": "25cjrn"}, {"question": "He\u2019s not emotionally available right now, for temporary or permanent reasons that do or do not hinge on you telling him you had feelings for him. \n\nFocus on the rest of your life. \n\nDon\u2019t confess your romantic feelings to people unless you want something to change. ", "comment": "So,  this guy and I met a while back and became close friends really quickly. Like, quicker than I ever have before. He is really sweet and thoughtful and easy to talk to, everything I\u2019d want in a good friend! We found it very easy to be affectionate with each other as we are both inclined to do with all of our close friends. \nAt this point in time, we live on complete opposite sides of the US (im in puerto rico, he is in alaska) but even so we found it easy to call each other up and text regularly to vent or check in or just joke around. \n\nSomewhere along the way, I developed a slight crush (and when I say slight, I actually mean slight) on him (I\u2019m asexual and he knows), so naturally since we were close I simply told him about it.  It was easy to tell him because he had already revealed to me that he had previously had a crush on me early in our friendship. \nUnfortunately for me, I suppose, he had a (and still has a) girlfriend by the time I told him but he reassured me up and down that it\u2019s fine. And we had a few conversations on the matter and we both agreed that the feelings were nobody\u2019s fault and we\u2019d simply move on with the thing. \n\nNow, however, ever since, nothing has seemed right. We still talk, yea, but it is way less frequent and nowhere near as easy as it was before. \nHe doesn\u2019t really talk about himself to me anymore, never really going beyond \u201cI\u2019m just really busy\u201d and \u201ci\u2019m good, hbu?\u201d And I am the one initiating about 80% of any of our (infrequent) conversations at this point. I feel like I\u2019m the only one doing the venting about what\u2019s going on with me and the imbalance is making me incredibly anxious. Like I\u2019m afraid of being his burden rather than his friend. \n\nMy natural inclination is to blame all the bad things on my confession of feelings on him but I can\u2019t help but feel there is more to it than that. Every time I try to ask him what\u2019s going on he has either said that he hasn\u2019t noticed anything feeling \u201coff\u201d the way I do or he just says that he has been busy. I don\u2019t know. It could also be his girlfriend has a problem with me, but he hasn\u2019t mentioned anything like that, but he also is the type who wouldn\u2019t tell me something like that to avoid upsetting me. \nIm just plain scared, confused, anxious, and at a loss. \n\nAny advice? \n", "post_id": "7wa9me"}, {"question": "it is just lust. you can't compare something new with something familiar.  nothing compares to 'new'.    figure out where you're at with your gf before you do anything else.", "comment": "This girl started working with me about 6 months ago. I never thought anything of it when she did, I thought she looked attractive and that was about it. It then moved on to my friend and I starting to joke with her and I became somewhat close with her. A few nights ago she texted me and told me she had strong feelings for me (even though she's been with a guy for months), and while I didn't tell her I did, I felt this emotion I hadn't felt since I first started falling in love with my current girlfriend. It was that intense, butterfly-nervousness I hadn't felt in a long time over another person and I quite frankly feel guilty over it but I don't dislike it. My girlfriend and I have been living together for about a year now and while I truly do love her (and we plan on moving out of our hometown for school next year), I can't seem to understand why I feel like this. I know it's probably just lust, but it's hard to control it when I work all the time with this girl, and besides the feelings she confessed we really are somewhat good friends. Is this normal? Or is there some hidden problem I don't seem to be taking into account.", "post_id": "5kc6bj"}, {"question": "You are totally right in your feelings. You're putting up with way too much sh*t.", "comment": "My BF (33M) and I (35F) have been together nearly 2 years. We\u2019re engaged (sort of) and live together. He has a history of doing things behind my back (ie sexting other girls pics of himself and requesting the same in return; emails and texts to ex, etc) which I forgave and we BOTH worked towards rebuilding our relatiobship and being honest and committed. \n  However I\u2019ve noticed since the beginning of the year he\u2019s been extra withdrawn. At first he said it was a \u201chobby\u201d learning about various software programming and whatnot for a MacBook I bought him for Christmas. Then, he went from little to no convo to not talking to or spending time with me at all, and I can\u2019t help but shake the feeling there\u2019s more to it than \u201clearning about a hobby\u201d.\n  We\u2019ve argued numerous times and he says being in the same room counts as \u201cquality time spent\u201d, yet he doesn\u2019t engage or interact UNLESS he\u2019s in the mood; or requires something of my existence. \n  Also, his suspect behavior concerning other women has come back into play. He\u2019s secretive with passwords and has numerous cloud drives. He\u2019s began having private encrypted chats and texts with other/former flames and even invited a girl he has a past with into our bedroom (yet failed to tell me the extent of their relationship until SHE brought it to my attention). On top of it all he\u2019s moody; shouts at me all the time (even for asking questions or requesting we do something as a couple) uses profanity towards me regularly and is kind; talkative and patient with his friends and even other females. \n  I love him but I daily feel disrespected and as if he could care less if I\u2019m in his life or not. I don\u2019t want a failed relationship however deep down (and I\u2019ve been patient and understanding) I feel I deserve better treatment than this or at least minimally kindness. Could anyone tell me if I\u2019m blowing it out of proportion or asking fat too much. ", "post_id": "782fbm"}, {"question": "he needs a therapist", "comment": "I [26/f] have been together with my boyfriend [26/m] for 6 months and always feel, when we aren't physically together, that we are doomed to break up. He was, since the beginning of our relationship, very clear about his commitment issues. His parents were divorced when he was still a small child and he never had positive examples of healthy relationships during his upbringing. We talk about these things quite a lot and we've already had our share of crisis due to these doubts of his. He tells me that when he is alone to his thoughts that he unwinds a roll of negative views about everything in his life, in particular the likelyhood of our relationship working out. He says that he belives, deep down, that love relationships are pointless and that will eventually end. He also says that he doesn't want to have these thoughts and would just want to be \"normal\" (whatever that means). Most of the times we are together we are happy. Yes, he's a bit of a grouch but I love him and I really just want him to be happy. I really don't know how to help him. Honestly I feel at times dragged into a spiral of negativity, and would rather not spend so much energy on someone that might not be there for me when I need it.\nSometimes I feel I should break it off before I get hurt. ", "post_id": "5tabwa"}, {"question": "Dissociation is a human reaction that occurs naturally at times; when it happens during a routine day we might call it \"zoning out.\" There doesn't have to necessarily be a rhyme or reason all the time, although there are instances where it can definitely be pinpointed.\n\nI'm guessing by \"dissociating for a couple of months\" you mean relatively regularly, and not for an entire two month period. That is an entirely different level of severity there.\n\nWhen it starts to become problematic, we may find ourselves have difficulty focusing on completing tasks, forget important information, lose energy and motivation to work/go to school, and find it difficult to socialize. We often look at frequency (how many times is it occurring during the day) and severity (how long does it last? Are you still functional?) and then go from there.", "comment": "Hey everyone!\nI was just thinking back about a time (I was probably 15/16) I never really knew about mental health, but I was a generally happy- sometimes angry- teenage boy.\n\nAs I look back, I was definitely disassociating for a couple months at least. I went to the doctor, and he said to get my eyes checked. Regardless, I eventually stopped and haven\u2019t experienced it since.\n\nWhy would this happen to a happy, teen who had no anxieties?", "post_id": "esfi71"}, {"question": "At least you saved money?  Maybe you'll lose a little weight?\n\nSorry your day sucked.", "comment": "I spent the whole day alone and got food poisoning.", "post_id": "45xhpi"}, {"question": "https://www.gov.ie/en/publication/472f64-covid-19-coronavirus-guidance-and-advice/\n\nIf you're feeling unwell then phone your GP.", "comment": "I've GAD, OCD, and depression. I have a lot of health anxieties and am fairly hypocondriac. I've regularly strongly questioned if I have various illnesses/disorders ranging from ADHD to cancer.\n\nI live in Republic of Ireland and the latest knowledge is that there is risk of spread of Covid19 through the public and if anyone has symptoms they should self isolate. Thankfully I'm not worried about dying from Covid19, and not really anxious about catching it since I wouldn't be considered at risk of severe issues.\n\nHowever I'm very anxious of knowing if and when to isolate myself to stop it from spreading to others. On one hand I experience some symptoms already from anxiety (fatigue, nausea etc) but with past ecperiences I have previously felt issues that were caused by thinking I'd have issues. As it's impossible to forget Covid19, I'm constantly feeling I might have a fever, or my head feels slightly funny.\n\nIs there anything to do to identify if something is mental or caused by mental state/belief, or if I've actually got symptoms and should isolate?", "post_id": "fidzqk"}, {"question": "Verbal abuse?", "comment": "In a relationship, it's always good to communicate your feelings and thoughts right? How else can things be solved if we don't talk about it. So... What do you do with particularly toxic feelings and unhelpful thoughts. Things that will only hurt the relationship and serve no purpose. Should those be voiced? Is it unhealthy to express these vile thoughts you know are wrong but you feel them anyway?", "post_id": "gshcmc"}, {"question": "sounds like her boundaries with the ex could be off. that's a red flag for sure", "comment": "So I've been dating this girl for 6 months and I really like her alot, lately I've been questioning weather I should stay or not. Here is why, i have been crushed in my past before by cheaters. I have a history of being cheated on. And she is kinda my last chance at having an actual relationship, im kinda just giving up on trying to have a relationship with people anymore. She is best friends with her ex, and has text some else calling them cute. When I talked to her about it she said she was sorry and it didn't mean anything. She said it was just a stupid thing that she didn't mean, she begged for me to stay so I stayed, but lately I've been having major trust issues. I'm not sure if I do trust her, but I've also been losing trust in everyone and pushing everyone away. So my question is do you think that I should stay and try to make use work/ or for me just to get hurt. I'm afraid of getting hurt and I feel like that is why I am pushing everyone out of my life", "post_id": "5vn7r3"}, {"question": "This is a little bit tricky as when speaking of ethics and un/ ethical behavior for a profession, there are clearly defined ethical principles. For this to be unethical it must be contrary to one of these defined principles. \n\nThis will depend on the profession. While I'm uncertain about the ethicalness of this practice. It certainly seems to be bad form", "comment": "I'm talking about Youtube therapist Dr. Todd Grande here, who is apparently obsessed with making videos about Narcissism, but that's not the point. I noticed that, when he's making videos on BPD, ASPD or NPD, he likes comments under his video where people straight up insult those suffering from those personality disorders. Dr. Grande likes comments like \"They are full of shit, lol. Try saying [blank] to them, trust me, it's driving them absolutely nuts\". So he pretty much supports people, who not only insult, but also suggest to bother those people. Seeing that reminded me of that unprofessional comment from Katie Morton, where she pretty much said those people were \"disgusting\". I was wondering if liking those comment is just as unethical?\n\nThanks in advance!", "post_id": "d7aeig"}, {"question": "prob cut out, just not ready, which is ok!", "comment": "I realize the title's a bit confusing but I'll explain. So I started seeing a girl about a month ago and we get along pretty well, she's nice and we have a lot of similar interests and all that. At first when I would see her I felt apprehensive just because of nerves and I'm socially awkward so I generally feel that way about anyone, but I now feel much more comfortable around her. We've had sex quite a few times and spent some time together, but I still feel that apprehension. I just find that I'm often drained when I hang out with her, to the point of exhaustion.  She's usually the one asking if I want to hang out and I'm generally making excuses. Like a few days ago I had work at like 2:00 or so, and she wanted to hang out before then, but I knew it would just be such a hassle for me and I would be so tired I lied and said I was going in early. On top of that she always wants to see me to hang out or cuddle or something. \n\nHonestly it's making me realize just how much of a selfish person I really am. I just need so much time alone to recharge and even then, the idea of going on a date or hanging out with her is just too much. And I cant bring myself to tell her that, I generally just say I'm busy or have work. I feel like we should get along great. We have so many similar interests but I simply can't spend as much time with her as she would like. Honestly I can't thing of anyone who I can spend a lot of time with without needing some alone time. I know this is a common introvert tendency but for me I feel like it impedes on having a relationship with this girl. Even texting her every day is a reluctant chore for me. \n\nI'm just at such a loss as to what to do. Any tips or advice would be great, thank you. ", "post_id": "6cqsay"}, {"question": "Psychologists and Psychiatrists are both trained and qualified to make diagnoses.", "comment": "Hello friends,\n\nI've been noticing an increase of panic attack symptoms lately, to the point where I went to go see a counsellor at my university. My psychologist suggested that i exhibit signs PTSD, and OCD which facilitates my anxiety. Though a psychologist, the counselling service cannot confirm or diagnose me with such disorders. \n\nI was wondering, because I have no knowledge about services available for mental health, where do I get a proper diagnosis? Should I see a psychiatrist? What other credentials should I look for?\n\nAny help or information would be splendid. If this is of any help, I live in Canada. ", "post_id": "238nlf"}, {"question": "lol\n\nI quite enjoyed the joke about this app revolutionizing the way people get hit by cars while playing on their cell phones.\n\nWorry not, fads die quickly.", "comment": "That is all.  ", "post_id": "4so1a3"}, {"question": "It's not the slightest bit lame.  It's awesome!  Glad you are getting help. ", "comment": "I just wanted to tell someone. I know it's lame, but I am very scared, nervous, excited, anxious, and proud. ", "post_id": "7wppr1"}, {"question": "Sympathies for the OP.\n\nJust to reassure people in the UK at least - this is almost the polar opposite of how things work should anyone in crisis seek emergency assistance. Don't be put off.", "comment": "I checked myself in thinking that I could leave whenever I wanted. Now a few hours later I have a plan to go to an actual mental health facility with my father tomorrow and they still won't let me go. \n\nIt almost feels like its out of spite. Like \"Oh you think you're fucked enough for this huh? Think your thoughts are too crazy? Well now you're locked in for good\"  \n\nI just can't get to a place where I actually think these quacks are trying to help me. For Pete's  sake I'm in a converted storage bay and attended to by an ER doctor who himself said he is winging it. \n\nI want out but I don't know how to get it. Help Reddit can they actually legally bind me here? ", "post_id": "5r5lgi"}, {"question": "libido isn't personal any more than someone's desire for food should be taken personally. he simply has a lower libido than you.  in any relationship, there's someone who wants something/anything a little more, and someone who wants something a little  less.  talk to him about it. it's ok that he has less libido as long as you find a middle ground where everyone is happy.  but never take someone else's libido personally.", "comment": "So I think I would describe myself as having a high libido, and I know other people's don't match this, especially some partners. I'm dating someone now, and its been about 6 months but I honestly am starting to feel like I initiate sex every time. I kinda feel we wouldn't even have sex if I don't start making out with him or something. \n\nThis just happened so am feeling bummed - I saw him last week after being a few weeks apart because of travel. Of those like 8 days, we've seen each other every day but haven't had much sex. Tonight we spent the entire day together, like lunchtime to evening, and he dropped me home inside, but promptly left. I thought we would, and then he said he had to go, and I just turned a bit sour after that.\n\nCommunication wise - he knew something was wrong but I felt in the moment it would be demeaning to me by somehow saying \"Hey, I actually wanted to have sex tonight but you didn't. We both have work tomorrow so you don't have to sleep here but we haven't had sex in 3 days\". It makes me sound desperate. He asked me a few times but I didn't want to say anything and he just left. I just got angry and upset.\n\nI don't know what exactly to do or tell him. I just am annoyed and feel like he is totally ok not having sex with me, which is making me feel unwanted. ", "post_id": "5of32m"}, {"question": "Both lower blood pressure, so you could find yourself relatively hypotensive and light-headed. That's a low spironolactone dose for hypertension, and it's not an amazingly effective blood pressure med anyway, so it's relatively low risk. Still, I would be cautious with the combination. Talk to your doctor before taking both if you can, and try to avoid taking them together on a day when you need to be on your feet and at your best.", "comment": "Hi,\n\nI am a 25 year old female who occasionally takes Propranolol(40mg) for anxiety. I dont need it daily, I just take it as and when it's needed and rarely more than one in a single day. Yesterday I was prescribed Spironolactone (25mg) for PCOS related issues. My question is are these safe to take together or would the medication interact?\n\nI completely forgot to ask my doctor this yesterday and cannot contact her over the weekend.\n\nThanks in advance to anyone that can help!", "post_id": "94dj0m"}, {"question": "Looking healthy isn't a technical medical term. A doctor could mean just about anything that anyone could mean by it.\n\nIt's sometimes used after reviewing labs. \"You look healthy\" is shorthand for \"all your labs look fine.\" I've never heard it said after looking at a patient, but I would imagine much the same. \"On visual inspection, there is nothing obviously wrong.\" A quick visual inspection won't pick up a huge number of things, so it's not all that useful to say, but that's my guess.\n\nDoctors usually won't say that overweight looks healthy. Doctors are more likely to tell you that you need to lose weight with greater or lesser tact and grace.", "comment": "Sorry if this is a stupid question. Title says it all. Been told this by 3 doctors over a few years now and I don't know if it means the same thing as when other people say it. 38F, 145lbs, 5'9\", psychiatric issues + POTS.\n\nI've been told \"looking healthy\" is a way to say someone is overweight, but I'm not overweight. I *am* healthy and I don't have any issues that aren't controlled anymore. I haven't passed out in a couple years and my psychiatrist has helped find the right combo for me.", "post_id": "e4lurc"}, {"question": "if one is not blessed with great parents, the next best thing is great friends.  be very pro-active about having/finding great friends and they will be your family forever....a loving, supportive family.", "comment": "I turned 30 in September, 2016. On my 30th birthday, like any other day of the week- I got up and went to work. My day went by and before I knew it, it was 6:30pm- I was just getting settled in from work. It was a Monday. \n10:30pm rolls around and I received my first Happy Birthday from my Mother. Never heard from my father. Don't usually. \n30 years of my life- all my life, my mother usually used my birthday as a reason to take something special from me. Always referred as \"just another day of the week\" to which it was only, always that.  And my father used my birthday as a reason to binge drink/drug, act like he's younger than me with no responsibility, blow a his money give out his phones, loan his car out and come home in a cab and go without a car for days, begging whoever has your car to bring it back sometimes ending in car theft, accident, and even \"misplaced\" - yeah coming home to ask me to go to the dump he came from on the morning of my 29th birthday.. \nI have to say- 30 birthday was quiet-as were the holidays for me. It was relaxing. But the incident when I turned 29 was just the straw the broke the camels back ya know? I have spent 30 years of my life being loyal to my family- I am done. I can't sacrifice anything more- already lost nearly a quarter of my life protecting and defending. But when I look around its just me. And it's been that way for nearly the past 10 years already. My parents have guided me nowhere. Where I am now is where I got myself. \nI'm not a child anymore- I feel I have honored my mother and father as long as I could while being in their presence. I decided that if I was going to honor them, it would have to be by accepting them for who they are, all while at a far. I guess they did the best they could... Then it dawns on me that I spent majority of my childhood years locked in my room up until I was 16. Punishment from report card to report card because I didn't get A,B, C's. Do you think my mother ever took the time to read over my homework with me? Well that's hopefully what you do for your kid when they don't understand something. \nI don't have kids and do not have Fallopian tubes to reproduce. That is not meant to be. I wouldn't want to be like my mother anyway. She was cruel. Which I can also be... \nDid anyone else realize they were loyal to their family and shut out until they needed you again? What did you do? I haven't spoke with anyone in almost an entire year and I don't really think I care to? They have reached out on a couple occasions, I just really have had no desire to be involved with them. They are all people I used to know. Like when I was a kid. And now, I just know them better. Advise? ", "post_id": "5touwq"}, {"question": "There are so many layers of \"wrong\" to this entire thing. The comment was careless and rude. And the fact that you can't even bring up an issue to talk to him about without knowing he'll tell you you're needy etc is a huge issue. Honestly there's more I could say but I'm just so sad and irritated for you and all I can think is how incredibly sorry I am that you have to raise a child with this man (If you so choose). One of the most important things to have when raising a family is a CARING and SUPPORTIVE partner. Doesn't sound like he's either. Good luck. :(", "comment": "Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones making me extra sensitive but my husband is away for work for the next two months and I am 13 weeks pregnant and so he's not really \"here\"--In a physical and emotional sense. I was really super excited about our growing baby developing and I started to show recently so I sent him a photo. His only comment was \"I prefer when you're skinny.\"\n\nI'm pretty damn insulted like first, it's not even like I blew up at all. The baby bump is hardly massive (looks like I had a big lunch) and like why even say that when I'm getting bigger GROWING OUR CHILD? Like obviously I can't help it and I'm only going to get bigger from here on out.\n\nI guess combined with the distance and feeling like there's a lack of support on his end, I'm extra sensitive. I wish he was just as enthralled as I was in seeing our baby growing. \n\nIs this worth mentioning to him or am I being overly sensitive?\n\nTl;dr Husband is away for work and only commented that he preferred my normal thin physique over my developing baby bump. I'm feeling insulted by his comment, is it worth mentioning?\n\n**********EDIT***********\nThanks for the responses guys. This was all over text message with him because he was working so I sent him a message saying \"It's very hard to read your tone through text. What do you mean you prefer that I'm thin? I'm trying not to be offended and give you the benefit of the doubt that you were joking but I feel very bad about that comment.\" \n\nHis response: I'm just saying you were sexy before and you'll be back to that body when another person isn't in your stomach.\n\nNo apology given and I just left it at that for now. We will be talking later on tonight so hope that goes well.\n\nAnyway, it made me think there is a bigger underlying issue here, one being that I'm too fearful to even confront my husband about a hurtful comment because he usually gets very defensive when I call him out. I can already hear what he will say if I bring it up to him again tonight. Probably something along the lines of me being selfish and ridiculous about needing reassurance about our relationship. Or something about how I need \"validation\" from him and how I'm insecure and so on, so forth. \n\nThanks for all the advice and for making a pregnant woman feel less insane for being so hurt over a comment like that!", "post_id": "37z19h"}, {"question": "I use \"patient.\" For me , this is about respecting psychological suffering and also normalizing the use of mental health services.  \n\nAlso , I have worked in impatient settings , and with SPMI clients who are quite literally patients,  even outside our relationships. \n\nI would feel different if I was working with outpatient folks to spice up marriage,  or other similar populations.  My patients,  though are definitely patients.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fvxqtv"}, {"question": "I joined AA when I was 23 in 1978 and have been sober ever since. I go to as many meetings as I can that\u2019s usually 4 or 5 a week. \nHere\u2019s a good working definition of Maturity:\n\n An adult is a person who is not governed by demands for immediate pleasure, comfort and excitement. Moreover an adult is able to organize the events and emotions of their life into a memory, a rough meaning, a story. An adult understands that the world belongs primarily to the dead and we only rent it from them for a little while. They created it, they wrote its literature, its songs and are deeply invested in how children are treated because children are the ones who will keep it going. The adult is the one who has been able to preserve his or her intensities, including the intensities proper to their generation. An adult is one who goes out and gathers jewels of feeling for others. Finally, the adult understands renunciation.\n\nRobert Bly - Sibling Society", "comment": "God willing, I will celebrate 16 years clean and sober in a few days.  This gift came after I drank alcoholically for 30 years from age 13 to 43.  I heard in treatment and in recovery rooms that alcoholism and addiction interferes with emotional maturation.  If I stopped maturing emotionally at age 13 and resumed when I got sober, my adjusted emotional age would now be 29 - the same age as my son.  In some ways that seems about right.  He and I really relate to each other.  I feel like I am taking responsibilty and getting my shit together they way it might have been expected for someone about to turn 30 rather than 60.\n\nMy life can be divided into three distinct phases; childhood and adolesence, alcoholism, and recovery.  In some ways, I regret (despite most of the promises having been realized) the impact my disease may have had on my life.  I wonder what might have been, had I stopped drinking and found recovery at age 20 or even 30 years old.  I realize these are immature musings of a lad of 29 and more will be revealed.  I do recognize that I have been able to help several recovering alcoholics because my experience was exactly the way it was supposed to be.\n\nThis reminds me of the saying that the best time to plant a tree (stop drinking) was 20 years ago, and the second best time is right now.", "post_id": "eg08z4"}, {"question": "Breathe is a great mindfulness app that has meditation sessions. ", "comment": "Looking for relaxing apps or games for anxiety. Games don\u2019t necessarily have to be for anxiety but one of those games you can hop in and play for 1-5 mins would be fine. Aesthetic visuals and relaxing music would be a plus", "post_id": "9kwf73"}, {"question": "You don\u2019t need to say anything to her unless she asks you out, in which case a simple \u201cthanks, but I can\u2019t,\u201d will suffice.  If you want to tell her you\u2019re leaving: \u201cjust wanted to let you know I\u2019m leaving the country for the foreseeable future. It\u2019s been nice getting to know you!\u201d will work. \n\nPlease spare her the monologue you\u2019ve drafted in your head and go tell it to a therapist. ", "comment": "So I\u2019m 38 and this woman is probably no older than 25. She works the window at a sandwich shop I get food from occasionally. I used to go there a lot and my dog would sit on my lap in the driver\u2019s seat until she passed away. Everyone got to know me as the dude with the pug. \n\nOne girl has always been ULTRA friendly to me. Nothing creepy, just saying things like, \u201comg it\u2019s so nice to see you again\u201d when any other customer would probably just get a \u201chere is your food\u201d. \nI\u2019ve also seen her driving around town in the delivery vehicle for the shop and she always beams with excitement and waves at me when she sees me. Like that little kid from the .gif who realized his dad was the one driving the train. \n\nShe\u2019s very attractive, bubbly, cute, and is probably a comic book nerd, I don\u2019t know why I assume this because I\u2019ve only ever seen her in her uniform, but I bet she plays more video games than the entire cast of the Big Bang Theory. \n\nI am flattered and it\u2019s nice to know that someone thinks you\u2019re attractive or whatever, but I really am an awful person that really should not be in a relationship with anyone. I\u2019m not abusive or anything, I\u2019m just severely depressed, can\u2019t handle when people show me empathy, and have a terminal illness. I\u2019m leaving the country in about a month and would like to still get sandwiches and maybe chat her up and let her know that if I am interpreting her signals correctly, that I\u2019m flattered but unfortunately I am leaving so we couldn\u2019t pursue anything. I\u2019m not interested in just a physical thing because emotions always end up getting involved in those situations anyway. \n\nSo how do I approach this? I\u2019d hate to leave the country for ever and have this woman thinking \u201cwhere did he go?\u201d I\u2019d also like to tell her I\u2019m flattered if I\u2019m correct in my assumptions, but that she could do WAY better than me and that if the circumstances were different I.e. I didn\u2019t have a brain tumor or wasn\u2019t clinically depressed, that I would at least go on a date to see if we had anything in common. \n\nI\u2019m no good at talking to people let alone communicating with someone I\u2019m in a relationship with. \n\nThanks for any advice. I really don\u2019t want to just vanish on her because I can tell that on days that I do stop in, she makes an effort to be the one who helps me, and she does light up which is actually quite beautiful. ", "post_id": "7vmza2"}, {"question": "in the interest of not doing unnecessary work, why not pick a half dozen of the several dozen FAQs already available on the WWW and maybe pick one or more to point people... why redo something that has been done just fine several times before?", "comment": "A lot of people on here ask if they have Asperger's in the hope that the online community here can diagnose them. AS well as being repetitive, a lot of the time the answers aren't very different - none of us can make a diagnosis over the Internet, online tests can't be used alone to make a diagnosis, etc. and so forth. I think perhaps it is time that we get a few ideas together for an FAQ page that has good resources and can point people curious about diagnosis in the right direction.\n\nAmirite?\n\nEDIT: I have messaged the mods about this and am now awaiting a response. Keep the ideas coming! So far we have:\n\n* better exposure of the IRC channel so that people can drop in to talk to others about their ?diagnosis\n\n* links to some of the well-known clinical questionnaires", "post_id": "u7ore"}, {"question": "Yes, it\u2019s possible to have your mind and brain produce physical symptoms as a result of mood, anxiety, and stress. Any serious symptoms should still be worked up by a doctor to make sure rather than assuming, but somaticization\u2014symptoms due to psychological causes\u2014is a common and fairly normal process.\n\nIf it becomes frequent and overwhelming, that too can be treated, but only if that seems worthwhile to you.", "comment": "Hi there guys \n\n27 year old male. 1.77m in size. Weighing around 85/87 kilograms. Non smoker, non drinker. \n\nI'm not entirely sure whether this is the correct place to ask this, but is it possible for the body to experience symptoms of illnesses/diseases that they wouldn't necessarily have?\n\nI have never gotten this confirmed by a medical professional or doctor but I would say I suffer from hypochondria and I have always wondered whether the human brain is capable of such a thing.\n\nFor example, diabetes. I might at a later point in my life get diabetes due to genetics and or poor dietary habits, a huge portion of my dad's side of the family has diabetes. My dad, his dad, his two brothers and his sister. I have looked into the symtoms every once a while throughout my life and could often only really relate to a few minor symtoms that often at time would pass or turn out to not be as severe as I made up to be, but there's been this indescribable itch in one of my fingers since last night that can't seem to leave me alone. There's also this weird tingly sensation in both of my hands. \n\nOr a few weeks ago where I had this lightheadedness that lasted for a few days, to the point where I had to hold onto walls every once a while cause it felt like I was going to fall. That too thankfully has past now, but could it really be that me imagining and thinking being dizzy and lightheaded actually resulted in me being dizzy? \n\nI always hear how powerful the brain can be, so could it be that I am underestimating my brains capabilites?\n\nI really do not want to waste anyone's time with this. There are probably a lot more people on here that require the help a lot more than I do right now.", "post_id": "eo3t0k"}, {"question": "Conversation, like any other skill, can be studied and practiced. So practice and study it :) Watch movies and see what the charismatic characters do in conversation. Read books on it. Check out online resources -- this [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) is a good one :)\nEDIT: Also, don't wait on making your life interesting. If you are bored with your life, change it. Take up a new hobby. Travel. Volunteer. Do something you've always wanted to do but never have. Life is beautiful--go explore!", "comment": "I really don't want this to come off as a rant, but I don't know how else to put it.  Recently I've gone on a few dates trying to put myself out there and get no where to somewhere, they didn't fail miserably but they failed to the point where I knew a second date was pushing my luck.  I feel as though when I first meet someone I am interesting and capable of a half decent conversation but as I get to know someone more I just fail.  How do you keep conversations fresh and interesting?  \n\nOne of the girl's I went out with is in one of my classes, we still talk but its literally petty things that generally stay on-topic with the class we're in, nothing else.  Sometimes I just feel so stupid, it's painful sitting in silence because I have no clue what to say or talk about.  The worse part is she's a genuinely interested girl that I can't even think of anything to spark a conversation.  \n\nMy problem isn't really related to nervousness or shyness, I've learned to not really give a f*ck, but that doesn't mean I have the ability to make conversation.  It may play a part subtly that I may not be aware of but for the most part I am just clueless on what to say.\n\nI also gave up on the whole dating thing and tried something much simpler just making a friend, but this has failed miserably too.  I'm usually alright for the first time meeting someone but then it just dies off quickly.  The worse part ever is the friends I do have, are more so just acquaintances because we never really hang out because the conversation just DIES out.\n\nThis whole matter is painful to me, because I really wanna just be someone that can talk to anyone and be able to at least make friends.  Life is miserably boring, I spend hours mindlessly wasting time doing absolutely nothing because all I really have to do is study and work occasionally.\n\nI've read all these guides and watched numerous videos on \"perfecting the conversation\" or whatever you wanna call it.  When it truly comes down to it are they really even that helpful?  Because I sure as heck haven't improved at all from checking them out and it's not like I'm not -TRYING- to improve.\n\nSo I suppose my questions are, how do I keep the conversation fresh and interesting?  How do I make conversations funny and not just baseline?  Is there a trick to improving your humor?  Am I really just socially retarded or is there a way I can actually improve my state?  And whatever else you can possibly give advice on from stated above.\n\nWith that, thank you for reading this..any response will be appreciated as I'd love to read something. ", "post_id": "12yd7z"}, {"question": "Oh it is so hard and it can feel hopeless at times. Keep trying, you can do this - don't lose hope :)", "comment": "fears, anxieties, distorted and inaccurate interpretations of the world around me, ego based desires, and  probably more...\n\nperiodically i have moments of clarity where I am hit with the truth of how empty and stupid most of the crap going through my head is. In a way it's liberating, for a moment, but then it's depressing and infuriating since I'm certain I'll keep existing in this pathetic state. \n\nI'm open to changing that belief, but I honestly don't feel great about my prospects for escaping this absurdity.", "post_id": "72x5nw"}, {"question": "It's not common. It's possible to pull it off successfully, but it's also possible to make a woman really uncomfortable (especially if you're approaching her in a context where she feels unsafe, like if there is nobody else around.)\n\nI would stick with the other option you mentioned -- striking up a conversation based on the environment. If a girl is reading a book you like, it not only gives you a much better reason to talk to her (making her more comfortable), but it also increases the chances that you will actually be compatible with her.", "comment": "Such as in coffee shops or even on the street? I know there is a huge field of \"pickup\" advice that promotes this, but I can't determine if it's generally considered acceptable behavior. Outside of a bar, I have rarely seen this done. \n\nNote that I'm not talking about striking up a casual conversation based on the environment (e.g., sitting near someone on the bus and seeing that they're reading a book you like). I'm talking about walking up to a girl out of the blue and letting a girl know that you find her attractive.", "post_id": "19alie"}, {"question": "I am so sorry that this is so common in the field. \n\nWhat is happening is (most likely) this: therapists are operating private practices and cannot afford to hire someone to answer the phones. They see clients all day, are getting many calls, and simply don't have mental space or space in their schedules to call back 30 people, unpaid, just to say, \"I can't help you\". It's unacceptable but it's incredibly common. I have been through the process of searching for a therapist and found it super demoralizing, and few people are probably more prepared to navigate the system than I am.", "comment": "This isn't a recent development so it's not a coronavirus thing. I've been trying to get into therapy for 2 years. My only success was when I was referred directly from an IOP program. I have contacted probably 25 therapists in my area via several different methods. Leaving voicemails, emailing them, reaching out through psychology today, etc. It seems like if you're in a position where vulnerable and emotionally/mentally unwell people are reaching out to you specifically for help, you could at least respond to them to let them know that you're not taking any new clients if that's the case. It's too many to be a coincidence at this point. I've given a lot of info sometimes, and sometimes just said \"I'm looking to start seeing a therapist\" so I don't think anything particular about me is putting them off somehow. What is going on?", "post_id": "fv0y57"}, {"question": "Are you able to leave the place and stay the night somewhere else? It would be great if your tenant took care of this for you. You shouldn't have to sleep in a cockroach infested apartment! Anyone would be freaked out! (Trust me, I did it once...)", "comment": "there were millions of cockroaches at my last place of residence and i've been cleaning this one so much. a cockroach just climbed up on my bed please someone tell me the nightmare isn't coming back. i don't know what to do. i can barely breathe.", "post_id": "2jhqpq"}, {"question": "she's contradicting herself. i would keep other opportunities open as she's mixed up", "comment": "Me and this girl have been seeing each other an our sex life and problems are being voiced to her friends, and her friends are telling her to ask me for space in which I am, I've only texted her once to tell her hope she had a good day no response, I came on a bit strong as we've only been seeing 2 months and told her I was terrified of losing her. I ignored her last message which seemed like a cry for help, but i was at work and got off around 3am so didnt feel the need to respond. She wants space, but also said she doesnt wanna stop talking, she really likes me and cares about me ( both of those were texts out of the blue) and she said shes not breaking it off she just needs space. I just need advice on how to proceed, I like this girl within the first two weeks ive met her parents which according to her took a shine to me.", "post_id": "6barhw"}, {"question": "I don't know if you work the steps, if not disregard.\n\nFrom what I understand of the BB, it tells me that a relapse, short of someone pouring a drink down my throat, is always precipitated by inaction on my part. From my experience and the collective experiences of many I know, if I do the things laid out in the twelve steps, and I do them to the best of my ability, then I won't drink. I'm not saying that I'll be insured happiness, freedom from panic attacks, and immunity to the opinions of others, but I won't have to drink. See from my perspective, a panic attack and fear of others didn't MAKE you drink. An obsession beyond your control made a drink the only option. The thing is, that obsession is there in part due to inaction on your part in diligently working the twelve steps.\n\nThis sounds condemning and judgmental, I'm sorry if it offends you. I don't know every circumstance in your life nor your work in AA, but the understandings and beliefs I have of the twelve steps make this a cut and dry case for me. It is however just my opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt depending upon how sobriety looks for you. Just thought I'd offer my perspective.", "comment": "**i figured i should post this here cuz i post here too**\n\nI woke up this morning at 4:30 am still drunk from the night before. I was still tired, still wanted to go to sleep. But I was afraid that if I were to go back to sleep that I would most certainly die by choking on my own vomit if I were to do so. Over the course of the night, i had drank way more than i had drank in my life, yes even as an active alcoholic i never drank as much as i drank in one night as i did last night. I think i drank enough to kill a small human.\n\nI woke up with a vague recollection of some things, that i had to piece together by asking other people and txt message logs and shit like that. I was quite seriously out of it. I had only ever blacked out or browned out once in my life (tho, if it was more, would i really know?). I drunk texted someone who is like a co-sponsor, the person who got me to even think about quitting drinking. And he's quite pissed (i'm always worried that he's pissed but this time i know it's serious). I've pissed off a quite understanding Pastor friend of mine, who is in the program and is not the kind of person who gets angry (he's a lutheran pastor and they are seriously just happy that someone asks for help).\n\nWhy did I drink? Well, It started with a panic attack on wednesday night, i awoke at 3am with an intense pressure in my body, the same pressure i've had before when having panic attacks and didn't want to go to the ER at 3am. So i took what was handy which were some percocets that i got from my MIL. Yes, i know, i need to stop taking pills from her. I'm working on that. So I took some and went back to sleep cuz they mellowed me out. Then went about my day, things went great, i did some big things with church and stuff was very happy felt the best i had in a while, was so happy to have turned a corner. Later that day, i was sitting at home and decided to for no reason in particular to take a handful of percocet. woke up sick, took a few more, went about my day. woke up sick, went to therapy, felt like a dick for using, told 1 friend.\n\nThat one friend said i need to come clean. Asked around the webchat on sunday, was told i need to come clean about relapsing. Didn't want to have to go in and say, I FUCKED UP. Especially since, someone in a meeting (my former sponsor) told me I was going to relapse because I wasn't doing it for myself so it was going to happen. This was in response to me saying that, I didn't want to drink but was afraid I was going to relapse. I don't want to give them the satisfaction that they're right. I didn't. So upon stress due to the pressure of having to be truthful, I drank. And I drank more than ever before because I couldn't deal with all the AA and shit that i've got going on in my head. It took a lot to get me past that feeling of guilt and shame.\n\nBut now i know, this shit will fucking kill me if i don't get it together. I can't drink like i did before going to meetings, because the first place i go is guilt. And it'll just be harder and harder because i'm driving away the people that want to help.", "post_id": "20ohsr"}, {"question": "I heard making dinner helps too. I'm so glad to hear about your successes in catching this as it's happening and figuring out a way to validate yourself. ", "comment": "Love me some motherfuckin toast.", "post_id": "9qktvz"}, {"question": "For me, I felt this way after undergrad, being in college made it so easy to meet people and see people because everyone was always around and had a slot of free time and a lot of excuses to do stuff together without a lot of other responsibilities. Then everyone graduates and moves away and gets jobs and spouses and kids and houses. Suddenly, you have to work to make and keep relationships going and make plans. Since I wasn't used to this, I figured that since it wasn't easy anymore that no one cared about me enough, because of they did have going out would be easy. I didn't want to do things with people because I didn't feel like they would like me or they were doing it because they felt bad for my or something. Now it's been 3 years and I'm learning how to put work into relationships with people that aren't professional or family related or people I live with so I can see them all the time. \n\nMy advice for you based on what I have learned so far: set up a schedule with the friends you do have. Every (insert day of the week) you go with those people to do something you enjoy, like happy hour, DnD, or bowling, whatever. With the standing appointment, everyone is able to fit it into their schedules ahead of time.  \n\nIsolation is nice on occasion to reset, but sucks as a way of life. Good luck building your social system. ", "comment": "Off late I have been cutting off ties with people left and right. I broke off my friendship with my best friend recently. I got rid of about 2 close friends in the last one year. All of my close friends stay in different cities and my communication with them is over social media. So I feel distant from them most of the time. And I feel like I don't treasure any friendship enough. Like breaking it off with my best friend didn't feel bad at all. I had actually outgrown the friendship. But I don't know why I cannot seem to stick to friends at all. This always happens to me. I get tired of them within 2-3 years. But I also feel horribly lonely at times. I am only 22 and I don't know if it's normal to feel like this. ", "post_id": "9cm6ph"}, {"question": "Well.... my immediate thought is that this person is really suffering and currently in an unhealthy place.  People who are healthy neither are actively suicidal or lie about it.  \n\n\nI don't really care whether they're lying/attention seeking or being completely honest.  I make sure to do everything in my power to keep them safe, be that a referral for evaluation for hospitalization or just developing a concrete and detailed safety plan to follow if they start feeling impulsive or as though they may act on their thoughts.  \n\n\nIf a person is has passive suicidal ideation, I'll check in from time to time but continue working with them.  If they are frequently actively suicide or on the fence (ie. they actually want to kill themselves, are forming plans, took some action at an attempt) I'm going to refer them to a higher level of care.  If our work in therapy is not enough to keep them stable, they really need something more intensive that I can't offer (inpatient, partial hospitalization program, intensive outpatient group, DBT program)\n\n\nIf they were indeed honest to God actively suicidal, this will help them get the help they need.  If they were lying and attention seeking, they'll learn that this isn't the appropriate way to get attention, at least not from me, as our relationship will end due to my need to transfer them to a higher level of care.  \n\n\nAll in all, when I hear these things, I just feel for the client and want to do whatever I can to help them without taking any chances.", "comment": "Do you ever feel like they're lying/attention seeking? \n\n​\n\nBesides from someone saying they'll actually do it, what signs give away that they will follow through?", "post_id": "c25oce"}, {"question": "Talking to someone your partner doesn't like isn't cheating. It might be breaking a promise to them but it's not fucking adultery just cause it scares you. ", "comment": "So today me and boyfriend had a conversation about what is considered cheating and what isn't. Me, [21/F] and him [22/M] stated that talking to someone your s/o is uncomfortable with is cheating. Well, a year ago he was talking to this girl who would hit him up, always trying to Skype and would get irritated when he never messaged back. So I told him she seemed to be getting a little clingy and it was making me uncomfortable, so instead of him just ignoring her, he told her that i didn't like her and I didn't want him talking to her anymore and that they \"UNFORTUNATELY\" had to end their friendship, so she messaged me upset that I had said anything. Yet he doesn't consider that cheating, but if I did, it would be. Thoughts?", "post_id": "6a2ay4"}, {"question": "No I usually Daydream about stuff that goes on around me. Like, what if Ninjas popped out of that closet? How would it look if I did a flip out of that window? I bet I could wall run that wall.\n\nI never imagine myself in a Daydream it's always from my perspective", "comment": "One of the activities that consume my day is listening to music and daydreaming scenarios or stories based around the music. I never really imagine myself though, or at least not the person I see when I look in the mirror. I\u2019ve pushed people away just to do this; along with losing precious time just to sit and waste away in daydreaming. I get so lost in these daydreams and it makes me feel better in a way. This behavior can be noted when I was younger too and would play pretend characters all the time, typical kid behavior except I would do it for weeks.\n\nWhen I daydream, I\u2019ll imagine myself in the perspective of my own characters I created, or ones from games I\u2019ve played. Often wishing I really were this person. I\u2019ll imagine myself in a fantasy world where I may even be the opposite gender character. Im not gender dysphoric and aren\u2019t unhappy being a female so I\u2019m a little baffled why. Im not sure if me feeling like my life holds no purpose is the reason to why I maladaptive daydream. Thinking of myself as a character in a story gives me importance, and the other people in my fantasy world are in my head so I\u2019m not scared of them like I am real people because I control the scenario. Video games aren\u2019t enough because in online games theres people which I highly dread.\n\nI\u2019m decently skilled in arts and crafts (despite my economic situation holding me back) I\u2019ve thought about genuinely creating costumes and things for these characters I have created and living them out to help how much I daydream. However reality is reality and I know people would consider me a freak show, and my only good relationship I\u2019ve ever had may suffer too. My family would look down upon me as well. \n\nSo in conclusion, anyone have any advice or similar experiences?\nEdit: I also have an unholy obsession with mask, like the idea of being able to conceal yourself and be elusive makes me giddy.", "post_id": "gst4ce"}, {"question": "Id probably qualify this as being a US(?) experience - because its vastly different in the UK and other countries. ", "comment": "The mental hospital was the only thing that gave me a chance to live a somewhat normal life. No one ever asks advice, but I thought these few things would provide a useful heads up. \n\nhttps://totaltext.wordpress.com/2019/01/26/so-you-are-going-to-a-psych-ward-four-things-to-expect/", "post_id": "ak86ox"}, {"question": "Hey, hang in there. You are in a shitty situation, no doubt about it, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. \n\nAs others have said, there's not a lot you can control right now, and that can be very nerve-wracking. Try to focus on the things you can control. It's hard to control feelings, exactly, but there are things you can do to take care of yourself and help your body feel a little better. \n\nHave you done breathing exercises before? Take a deep breath, all the way down into your lungs. Hold it there for a few seconds, try to stretch your lungs out. Then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times and count the seconds or your heartbeats - I like multiples of 4 because I'm a music person - like 4 in, 4 hold, 4 out. Then up to 8, maybe more if you like a challenge, but take it slow and listen to your body. After a few cycles your heartbeat should slow down a bit. It takes time to calm down, always, but this can help you focus on the here and now and keep you from getting trapped in your head, as anxiety likes to do to you. \n\nTry to relax your muscles as well. Go through all your muscle groups, from toes up to arms, shoulders, and neck, and flex/relax them slowly. Sometimes we tense up without thinking so this helps you be aware of what your body is doing.\n\nNone of these things make the scary things go away but they can give you something to focus on that isn't the \"what ifs\" and negative thoughts - always try to bring yourself to the present and focus on where you are in reality - Remember that surgeons and doctors and nurses are some of the most well-trained, well-educated folks out there. She's in good hands, she's in the best place she can be right now, and she's having to go through this so she can be healthier in the long run.", "comment": "I\u2019m crying on and off right now. I\u2019m freaking out. My mom\u2019s having open heart surgery and I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019ll do when she\u2019s undergoing her surgery tomorrow. Two of my aunts are going to be there... so I guess that helps a bit, but I already have GAD and my anxiety is going off the charts. Just... f***! I tried looking for information and advice on google, but it\u2019s all stuff for parents to help their children with getting through their surgery. \n\nI don\u2019t know what to do now, and I don\u2019t know what to do while I\u2019m waiting in the waiting room. I\u2019m full on panicking. I feel like I could have a mental breakdown. \n\nMy mom\u2019s the most important person in my life and even if the surgery goes completely well and smooth, she\u2019s still going to be in so much pain after. I\u2019m trying to hang on and be strong, but it\u2019s so hard right now. I want my mommy. I freaking HATE that she needs surgery.", "post_id": "esmlkp"}, {"question": "Vivid dreams are cool and interesting anyone who says otherwise, that's anxiety talking", "comment": "I forgot what it was like to dream, and how important it is somewhat. For 3 years my sleep was shit, and I rarely dreamt. If I did, they were short lived. \n\nBut in the past 30 days or so, wow. I haven\u2019t had dreams like this since I was young. They seem to last hours, and they\u2019re insanely vivid. Sometimes they\u2019re dark, but still interesting. It\u2019s an insane glimpse into my subconscious and I actually really appreciate it. Not only that, but I\u2019m actually feeling refreshed when I wake up, and I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s party because of dreaming and REM sleep. My creativity is off the charts lately, and I used to think I needed weed to be creative. But this is different; it\u2019s almost primitive in a way. \n\nJust something weird I\u2019ve been feeling lately, don\u2019t know how to put it exactly. Anyone else feel this way with dreaming coming back, and it\u2019s effect on your day to day life?", "post_id": "e543o8"}, {"question": "I attend MA and love it, it helped me get sober 6 years ago. I still attend as I feel at home there and have gained a lot from it.\n\nMy suggestion to you would be to look up and fill out a Cost Benefit Analysis worksheet. You should be able to find one for free from Smart recovery online. It's pretty simple and may help you get some clarity on where you stand with quitting/not quitting.", "comment": "Hi guys. Just signed up for Reddit specifically because of this page. I already feel a lot of comfort reading everyone's posts and knowing that other people are going through the same things.\n\nI've been smoking every day for 5+ years and have not been able to stop for more than 1 week. I've been considering going to a local M.A meeting for quite some time now... I know they take place on a Wednesday, and every day of the week I think about how I really want to go. But then Wednesday comes around and I wake up feeling differently; suddenly the idea of attending a meeting doesn't seem like such a great idea.\n\nTo me things couldn't be more clear: I've been cutting myself off from the best of what life has to offer by putting weed above everything else. I basically function at my lowest capacity - only ever doing the bare minimum. Somehow I get by - no one would ever suspect I'm a stoner, I don't come across like it at all but this has been my secret safe place for years now. On the surface I have it all together and people think I'm doing really well but privately my life revolves around smoking weed.\n\nI'm very clear on the fact that I need to make a change and stop. In fact, a lot of the time the one thing that makes me feel the happiest / most eager about life is thinking about how my life will improve once I've stopped. I'm hyper-aware of all the ways my life will improve and I have no doubt it's going to be the best decision I've ever made. BUT...\n\nI just can't seem to make the decision on when to actually stop. I keep thinking I'll stop any day now, and I really do believe that the day is coming up very soon because I want a sober, clear-headed life so badly. But part of me is still holding out, waiting for something outside of myself to make the decision for me... It's almost as if I'm waiting for something bad to happen, to hit rock bottom before I really make the changes I've been talking about for so long. I shouldn't have to wait for something awful to slap me in the face in order to change things up... But at the same time my habits are so deeply ingrained that the idea of just \"not smoking\" all of a sudden does not feel possible. So I'm unsure what to do.\n\nIt's like I can feel it coming - I know that my time smoking weed is coming to an end. I've felt the discomfort with my lifestyle increasing more and more and I'm really not enjoying being trapped in my weed-smoking bubble. I am on the verge of so many great things in my life and I know that kicking my weed habit is exactly what I need for everything to  start coming together for me.\n\nBut then again I have to be careful because the truth is I've felt this way for years. I've been having conversations with myself about stopping and about how great everything will be without it for literally years now.\n\nNot sure exactly what I'm asking for here but I decided that if I don't go to the meeting tonight I at least should reach out to people on this thread. Thanks to everyone else for sharing their stories. If anyone has any advice on how to finally make the call or what made them finally stop I'd love to hear.\n\nAlso if anyone has had experience with the M.A meetings and how they were in your experience I'm very curious to find out more. Thanks everyone!\n\n​\n\n​", "post_id": "a1dfee"}, {"question": "As others have said, context is important here. I had a kid pull a butcher knife out when I was in his home but I knew he was just being dramatic so I wasn\u2019t worried. On the other hand, a coworker was violently murdered by a patient when she went home for her lunch break. A good therapist would stay professional and never scream back. Our focus would be in this order 1) assessing for safety of the person (do they need to be hospitalized?), 2) maintaining our own safety through perhaps getting up and moving closer to the door or establishing a larger perimeter of personal space, and 3) role modeling a therapeutic response while descalating.", "comment": "I'm writing a book and I'm attempting to be realistic. Would a therapist ask a patient to leave if the patient began screaming at them? Do therapists ever use their home as their office? If threatened with violence would a therapist throw away their professionalism and yell back at the patient?", "post_id": "ck8urq"}, {"question": "I sometimes find myself judging others and their problems, comparing them to my own, etc.  Then I remind myself when I see somebody in anguish: though the reasons for their pain and the things that brought them there are different from my own, and doesn't make sense to me, the pain is still real.  That's their pain.  That's my pain.  That's my pet dog's pain.  We all experience it at different times and for different reasons, but it always feels the same.", "comment": "I somehow landed on these two subreddits:/r/problemgambling /r/FoodAddiction. After reading a few links I could not help but think these are just the silliest addictions. I take that thought back. Sometimes I am very cynical about peoples problems because I think they are vain and idotic, but at a meeting I discovered that this is actually a problem with my thinking. It is being self-centered, that my addiction and severe depression should be recognised by the universe. This week I will work to be less self-centered. I am not general manager of the universe and I will stop acting like I am.", "post_id": "16z7xb"}, {"question": "Ditch him.", "comment": "Some background to the problem: I've been with my partner for 2 years. I'm always going to my his house, I'd say pretty much every day. Whether I ride my bike there, catch the bus or even walk I'll find a way to get there. In the past two weeks he's been to my place around twice, which really bugs me because I feel like he's not putting in as much effort. (I've brought this up with him and he says he'll try harder... and then doesn't)\n\nI've been having a really rough week with uni, quitting my job and selling my family home, and my boyfriend knows it. Today I had a uni field trip, I left the house at 6:30am and got back at 6:30pm, I was exhausted and just needed some love. Throughout the day he'd agreed to come around to mine when I got home. When I get home and ring him he says he doesn't really have time to come over because he's watching the basketball with a friend. I'm a bit bummed and ask him to come over afterwards, to which he says he can't because he will be drinking and won't be able to drive and also because he has a flat tire on his bike (he has like 3 bikes). So I'm pretty disappointing but say it's no biggie. About an hour later he messages me telling me he's going out on a pub crawl with his mates and that he won't have his phone on him because he's lost it. I am so hurt by this. I don't give two shits if he wants to hang out with mates or go out on the town, but the fact that it was too difficult to get to my place (which is about 3 suburbs closer than where he is drinking) but it was easy enough to go out with friends makes me so sad and angry. \n\nNow I'm left wondering, does he even care about me? Are my feelings valid? Or am I over-reacting? ", "post_id": "70grzv"}, {"question": "A lump in the throat is not an uncommon symptom after something stressful like bronchitis etc - for you it's spiralling out of control as the experience stresses you out further and that makes the sensation worse.\n\nMight be a good idea to look into some distraction techniques to reduce the severity of your experience.", "comment": "I should probably preface this by saying that I've already made an appointment with my primary care doctor, but his earliest available time is in two weeks. So I'm mostly just looking for some sort of relief until then. Also, I am 21 years old, male, 5' 10\", 120lbs, and white.\n\nSo I started having this sensation of having a lump in my throat about a year ago. It might just be coincidence, but it started soon after I had a case of acute bronchitis. It felt like there was some object, food, or mucus stuck in my throat. And it also feels like it starts moving up my throat, so I try and swallow, which feels like it pushes the lump down, but never enough so that I actually swallow it. It didn't cause any problems for me with eating or breathing, it was just sorta discomforting. I thought it might have been a tonsil stone and I went to my primary care doctor about it around 5 months ago, but he just said to do some stuff to try to relieve the discomfort like drinking lots of liquids or gargle salt water.\n\nBut recently, I just fought off a nasty fever, and the lump in my throat is getting worse. I feel it every day, and eating and breathing is becoming much more difficult. Breathing when I'm trying to sleep is getting hard. It feels like mucus gets pushed into my breathing pathways, and I wake up with a congested nose every single day. And when I eat, I have to have a glass of water to help me swallow. I start to gag if I put just a little too much food in my mouth. It doesn't help that I'm only 120lbs and need to put on some weight too. I was about 120lbs before the lump appeared too, so no sudden weight changes.\n\nGoogling my symptoms hasn't helped. This thing is starting to cause me so much stress; I just want some relief :(", "post_id": "73bxz2"}, {"question": "I have always had a weird relationship with my social anxiety.  I have a ton but I also am a bit of an adrenaline junkie.  I've performed music on stage more times than I can count and if it's been a little while, getting up there makes me feel like my skeleton is going to jump out of my skin.  Thankfully it hasn't yet.  \n\nI think one of the main things that adds to social anxiety is forgetting that what you see and are aware of within yourself is not at all what the others see.  For instance, when I play a song, I know exactly how I want it to sound down to every chord and every sung note.  If it's a little off, I get upset.  I also get upset that everyone else can see exactly how nervous I am.  \n\nIn reality, they have no idea.  It's taken me a very long time of people telling me they're \"shocked to even hear I have such high social anxiety because it doesn't show\" to believe they're telling the truth.  \n\nThe take away, nobody out there knows you're nervous unless you say it during the presentation or continuously apologize for any miniscule mistake you might make (that nobody probably would've even noticed if you don't bring attention to it).  \n\nPractice your presentation.  Practice presenting it in a few different ways as when your nerves kick in, it might be an incredible presentation, but not the one exact way you pictured it in your mind.  That's okay!  You'll power through it.  \n\nHonestly, when it comes to school, most people are scared to death to get up in front of people and give a presentation.  Almost everyone feels some sense of panic and think everyone can see it, when most people can't.  \n\nBest of luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)   ", "comment": "I used to be good at it.  But ever since my social anxiety kicked in, I've gotten worse and worse at it.  Even shit like saying here when roll is called gets me a little anxious sometimes.  I have to present a small power point about myself in spanish class.  I am freaking out about it.  Especially since school has just started and I am not comfortable with my class at all.  Fuck, help.", "post_id": "6vvnoz"}, {"question": "abusive", "comment": "I posted twice in the last two weeks here asking for advice about my husband's behavior.\n\n\nOnce, after my SO's recent not coming home and not letting me know where ever was for 24 hrs (then reducing me to tears for asking him to be considerate), and the other time after he stonewalled me for 16 hours because I accidentally interrupted him (though I profusely apologised).\n\nLast night, after being shouted at again, called crazy, out of my mind, and other names, because I commented that he had been acting suspiciously with his phone recently (never letting it out his sight, running back to get it even when he'd already started running the shower and taking it to the bathroom), then him shouting to 'get out' and pack my bags when I said he had no right to shout at me and call me names, I finally left.\n\nHe walked me down to the apartment lobby, then walked off ahead of me into the night leaving me by the curb as I waited for a taxi to a hotel across town. He didn't say goodbye or inquire as to where I was going although it was late etc, which says it all.\n\nSo, Reddit, thanks for your previous advice and listening to me....it's helped me to see that this isn't a good relationship.\nAnd now, after being shouted at to leave, well, I have more than enough reason to GTFO and start anew.\n\nTerrified and missing him (the good side), but know I can't keep accepting his behaviour, otherwise I'm resigning myself to a life as a doormat.\n\nEDIT: moving into my own apartment (one month temporarily) tomorrow. Have ignored the few phone calls and one email he sent last night with a half assed apology. Staying strong, going No Contact, and collecting my things whilst he's at work tomorrow.\n\nSo genuinely moved and galvanised by your help, Kind Reddit Strangers; THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU x", "post_id": "5rzus1"}, {"question": "psychologytoday.com    therapist directory", "comment": "I'll try to keep this as short as possible as I don't want bore anyone. Me and my girlfriend have been together now for over 9 months, this is my first and serious relationship (and sexual) My girlfriend has been in two relationships before me, one that was probably about under half a year and another that was about 11 months. Both of these past relationships were sexual though not as much with the 4 month relationship. Even though she's been in two relationships before me, one of which is still currently longer than ours, she says that this is her first serious relationship and one where's she's happy, has been in love and has enjoyed sex. We try so many different positions and have fun in bed. We always go out and have the best times with each other, we laugh so hard at times with eachother. We love eachother dearly. So why do I still get insecurities? Why are they much worse now than when we started our relationship? \n\nBefore continuing I'm fully aware that I'm the one that's difficult and damaging, I know I'm being irrational and the one that's ruining things, I don't know if it makes it worse being aware, it's just I can't help having these dark moment of feeling useless, I just want them to go away.\n\nI've make things difficult because I always want to compare and I'll always fixate on numbers, like \"how many times did you have sex in your past relationship\", \"what were the positions\", \"am I the best and the biggest\" I'll even ask things like \"have you cuddled in this position before\" and even if she suggests watching a film, I always try to subtly ask if she saw it before with him. I don't know why I ask, because it only makes it worse. It's straining on her, but I just can't help it.\n\nShe said her second relationship went bad only after two months, and that she hardly saw if very much each week and that they had several breaks, almost every 3 months they'd go on a break. Their sex life was borderline abusive as he'd do things to her that she wasn't comfortable with. She hasn't got the best family, with her mum moving in different men/constant house changing, and he was her outlet.\n\nI feel guilty for everything that happened to her during her second relationship because I knew her from before she got into it, we'd flirt a lot and it was obvious that we both liked each other a lot, but I didn't have the confidence to say anything back them. But I feel as if I had said something they maybe everything bad that happened to her in between wouldn't have happened, and also a bunch of the first time stuff would also have been with me, but I know that's me being selfish. I carry this weight with me a lot of the time, sometimes it'll be days where I don't think about it at all, but sometimes it's get too much for me to the point where I'll hurt myself (she doesn't know).\n\nEdit: She says I've help her discover herself as a person and that I've been the best thing to have ever happened to her, and that I've helped her so much with home stuff, more than anyone has ever. She says she can't imagine a life without me and that she loves me so much. I've always been there for her with any of her stuff as my love and support is unconditional, and she knows that.\n\nWe love each other so much, but why do I act like this? Is it because this is my first relationship and if I had been in several others, then maybe I wouldn't feel as insecure, maybe I'd wouldn't think about her ex, because I'd be able to appreciate something good. I love this girl and we've spoken about future commitments and I truly do want my life to be with this person, I just don't think I can let myself to be this message of a person to her, I care too much for her and I feel while it might get her now, she would be better of without me. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what to do, how do I better myself, I really want to, please help me.", "post_id": "6vi0i1"}, {"question": "Yeah, I was put on prescription vitamin D. \n\nI read up and found most overweight people have low levels because it just hangs out in the fat instead of doing the stuff out body needs it to. ", "comment": "I was recently diagnosed with a severe vitamin D deficiency. I think it's because I cover up from head to toe year round due to my hirsutism. Also heavily introverted so I'm indoors most of the time. I'm worried about my bone health. My back constantly aches and I've developed hump on the base of my neck. Also I'm a two inches shorter this year. What does this all mean?", "post_id": "7h1oex"}, {"question": "Yoga has really helped me. Not for everyone...maybe check out Yoga with Adrienne on youtube. She has lots of short, simple yoga sequences on a range of topics from anxiety to depression, as well as yoga for physical health benefits. Good luck. ", "comment": "Anyone else have issues with this in the beginning? Right now I work about 80 hours a week and my only time to relax is Friday and Sunday evenings. All I can think about during those evenings is how badly I want to drink. I feel bored without it. I want to do other fun things in my free time but feel like I don't have the energy, so drinking often seems like the best solution. So lately all I've been doing is sitting around watching Netflix, maybe doing some chores here and there, and quite frankly it's depressing. Not sure how to start enjoying my days off again. ", "post_id": "8st0j1"}, {"question": "Doesn't sound like it's coming from a place of comfort or seeking comfort as much as something like cutting. ", "comment": "I\u2019m a girl and I always crave physical violence. I used to cut when I was younger, and now I want my boyfriend to slap me in the face or even punch me. I like when he rough houses me, and it\u2019s mainly during sex and I like when he slaps me out of nowhere. I hang out with another guy friend sometimes who I know will slap me too. \n\nNormal...?", "post_id": "8alwzv"}, {"question": "Got through two theses, one undiagnosed, one diagnosed. Both sucked but both worth it. You can do this!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gd8lkz"}, {"question": "Getting an answer from the team involved is he best answer. Based on MELD, he has about a one in five chance of surviving 90 days.", "comment": "My brother is in the hospital with liver failure due to alcohol. His MELD is 38. He is 46 years old and he seems to think that he can survive this. While I admire his courage, I understand this is fatal. But I cannot understand how long he has left with a MELD of 38. I have heard 2 days, I have heard a year...... Any help is greatly appreciated.  \nI know no one can tell me the day he will die... duh. But may something more specific than 2 days to a year? I need to know how much time I have with my brother, so I can make the most of it.   \nThank you all from the bottom of my heart.  \n\n* 42\n* M\n* 6 2\n* 160\n* W\n* 6 Years\n* liver\n* meld 38, cirrhosis, rapid weight loss, jaundice, paracentesis, pancreatitis\n* dialysis and pain meds", "post_id": "c8pfkv"}, {"question": "Yes. Find a local support group. What you need is 12,000 units of validation and support. It sounds like you are doing recovery right but are in the in-between space where you aren't getting the internal control/relief anymore and haven't started to get to self-esteem based confidence so it's super important to get that validation and support from others who you value and trust. It's work but worth it. ", "comment": "I was suffering from ED for 4 years until my body just slowed itself down and I started gaining weight again while eating very little. Anyway, I was in a really difficult relationship and it ended very badly. During this relationship I isolated myself from a lot of my friends, diminished my social circle to just a handful of people who all live outside of my city, and put a strain on most other aspects of my life. This relationship ended just before I started seriously devoting myself to treatment, and over the summer I gained much more weight than I was told I would by the doctor.\n\nThe weight gain and the recovery process itself made me depressed, and it made me afraid to go outside or visit even my limited circle of friends. I haven't bought new clothes and feel like I can't face the mall. I cry most times when I have a shower I am terrified of seeing my now ex again at university, because I feel so vulnerable and my self-esteem is so low. I feel like my weight and my recovery is a visible weakness that I am wearing around like a neon sign, and I don't know what I can do. \n\nDoes anyone have advice?\n", "post_id": "6w9tvr"}, {"question": "Hi. I know the Centre for Clinical interventions website has some very good resources re Cbt for anxiety, depression etc. While they are not specifically what you asked for they might help you. The Cbt principals are similar whatever the difficulty. Best wishes. Iwndwyt.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9ezgo4"}, {"question": "To clarify, have you been formally diagnosed with OCD by a psychiatrist?", "comment": "16, Male\n\nSo, this feeling is basically like... when I want to try and think about something a bit, it's like my mind doesn't wanna do it. It's like my mind is too tired to think about things, like it's exhausted and needs a break.\n\nDuring the weekend, I started to do compulsions for my worries as part of my OCD. These compulsions involve me thinking, or speaking, a few lines to tell myself that my worrying is irrational etc. These compulsions quickly became constant and hard not to do, refraining from doing them would make me feel anxious and panicky. I have spent 3 or 4 days in which I have did these compulsions all day (there have been a few breaks or decreases in frequency but it feels like it varies from every minute to every few minutes or whatever).\n\nI've been sleeping alright, getting at least 7 hours a night, but have still been going to bed late (usually around 1 - 2 AM). Since these compulsions, I have been getting more headaches and uncomfortable aches (I had a mild burning sensation at the back of my head for a bit last night). Right now I'm getting these aches, and they're not necessarily nice.\n\nPlease help me out with this. Thank you, and have a nice day. ;)\n\nNote: Yesterday, I actually get really stressed at one point because of these compulsions. I have also being rushing them slightly at times, and sometimes repeating them again and again and again because I can't get them right. I haven't been doing them non-stop all day but it still feels like I've been doing them too much.", "post_id": "5738wl"}, {"question": "That's a tricky question.\n\nResearch does show that folks who experience some of those things in their homes (even if it's not them going through it) may be at a higher risk for developing mental health concerns. There is a HUGE study on this by Kaiser Permanente: it's called the ACE study. Look it up if you like.\n\nThe important takeaway those is that these are correlations, NOT causations. Just because that happens in someone's family doesn't mean that person is going to through it too. It's more complex than that. One might say that you may be more sensitive or predisposed to experience some mental health issues because of what you've experienced. \n\nThat's why self-care and doing your own work can be so important. You can learn from the experiences of your family members to avoid getting caught in some of the same situations that led to those mental health concerns.", "comment": "My mom has tried to commit suicide several times during her life. Once I was like eight and I witnessed the cut on her wrists while she had attempted to take her life. I still remember. While my grandmother had her own history of strange behaviour.\n\nMy sister (16) is in an emotionally abusive relationship with her boyfriend and her friends told me they saw light self harm scars.\n\nNone of them have been diagnosed with anything as mental health is a taboo here. I am 18. If there a history of mental illness/suicide in my family, does that mean I will have this kind of behaviour too? And whoever comes after me?\n\nTo be honest, I have been having bad thoughts too...", "post_id": "dkiwgn"}, {"question": "It makes no sense for you not to meet her. He shouldn't have a private relationship with his ex", "comment": "Hello, I'm new here so not sure how it all works. But I want to share my story and any advice/suggestions would help a lot. \n\nBackground:\nMy partner (M51) and I (F40) been together for 4years. \nDuring those 4 years we broke up many many times. The main reason we broke up so many times is because of his ex-partner. He and his ex have been together for 16/17 years ....they split up 1,5 years before I met him. She had a baby just when we started dating (no, it's not his child). She lives in Dublin (we're in London). At the beginning he used to visit her and her child in Dublin almost every months. He also is a godfather to her child (which he hid from me, but I found out by accident). Nowadays, He still visits them a lot but not as often as it used to be. \nAs I mentioned we've been together for 4 years, but I haven't met her or her child. At the begging he said it's not a right time to tell her about us (?), I don't know why. So I waited. Now, he says he goes there to spend some time with his godson. Many times when he went to Dublin he lied or hid from me, which I found out about later. And if and when he tells me that he's going there it's always the last minute. And obviously it makes me upset and we have arguments when he's back from Dublin. \n\nHe says that they have long history and that they're just good friends, and that she and her family will always be a part of his life espclly that he's a godfather to her son. \nI understand that and accept it. But he also says that he wants me to be part of his life too and that he loves me and he wants to be with me and that there's nothing between them, that emotionally and physically he's not attracted to her anymore, that it's all gone. And I believe him, I know he loves me and I love him too, but why he doesn't want to introduce us?? \n\n", "post_id": "6pbctn"}, {"question": "All the useful advice that can be given has been given. This needs to be treated by a doctor in person, not with spitballing over the internet.", "comment": "Age: 25\nSex: F \nHeight: 5'1\nWeight: 86lbs\nRace: Asian\nDuration of complaint: a month or more\nLocation (Geographic and on body):\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): adhd, anxiety, sometimes blood pressure fluctuations\nCurrent medications (if any): xanax .25mg as needed, chlorthalidone 12.5mg, Ativan 0.50mg, Ativan 1mg, risperidone 0.5mg everyday, risperidone 0.25mg at bedtime, trileptal 150mg half twice a day. \nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example\n\n\nEveryone says that's impossible but for me it's not. I haven't slept for a very long time and don't know what is wrong with me. I'm seeing a sleep specialist soon. Please understand that this is not an exaggeration. I really have not slept and believe I will die soon if medical professionals do not listen to me. I've been having all delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia. It's increased due to no sleep otherwise I wouldn't be thinking this way. It is the reason as to why I'm not sleeping. Every time I try and sleep I just can't fall asleep. I used to take Benadryl but for some reason it has stopped working. \n\nMedical professionals are saying it's anxiety but the anxiety is during the day and has never been this bad until I started having trouble sleeping. In fact, the anxiety isnt always there. I've been having lots of palpitations and dizziness as well as headaches and nausea. I've been feeling weak as well and just after a shower I start shaking a bit due to how tired my limbs are probably. I believe all of it is definitely due to no sleep. I've went to the hospital 3 times in one week because of the lack of sleep and it presenting many physical symptoms. They have told me to keep taking benadryl. I have actually lost my trust in doctors because a lot have not listened to what I have to say. \n\nLast time I went to the hospital, they had to check my weight and I had lost 3 lbs. I think my heart and the rest of my body will give out one day if no one helps me. I have never ever in my entire life experienced such a thing at all. I slept well during my vacation.. about 5 hours a day but before and after coming back my sleep was poor. Before I left it was due to spiders or centipedes in the house and after coming back in the beginning it was due to jet lag. I did not travel outside of the country. The sleeplessness has been going on since June 25th. However, it got worse fast. I've have slept 5 days for at least 4 hours to 10 hours after taking Benadryl or Ativan. I stopped taking the Ativan and Xanax due to muscle spasms and jerking movements that I've been experiencing in my neck sometimes. I just don't know what to take anymore to fall asleep. I just want some sort of insight. I've already went to my doctor who doesn't listen to me and relates everything to anxiety. \n\nHowever,  I'm not anxious all the time when trying to sleep. It's mostly because of not being able to sleep that I start having palpitations and dizziness as well as headaches and then sometimes that gives me anxiety. I just really want for someone to believe me when I say I haven't slept for that long. I am not exaggerating and know for a fact that I've been awake for that long tossing and turning in my bed. I am seeing the sleep specialist on Thursday but before then, I really want to try and sleep a little and feel like it will be too late then. I have tried melatonin, deep breathing relaxation techniques, benadryl, and Ativan. I forgot to mention that I've been getting aches and pains throughout my entire body as if I have a cold of some sort right now. Could I have some sort of underlying disease because of all this. They took blood work a couple times at the hospital and said everything was fine. \n\nNone of them have helped me sleep longer than 10 hours a day. It's only worked a couple times. What do you think is wrong with me? I sincerely ask to please answer every question that I am asking on here. I have run out of options and I feel  like I'm running out of time and will either have another major health issue due to this or die. Please help. \n\n\n\nP.s.- this is not mania. I have no racing thoughts and I have not had any other symptoms related to mania. I do not think it is wise for a psychiatrist to prescribe antipsychotics to a patient who has never taken any type of medication for a mental illness ever. I will be seeking a second opinion from another psychiatrist because she did not listen to everything I said and did not ask me any questions. I would like for medical professionals to at least rule out physical causes first and then say its mental. It is wiser that way in my opinion.\n\n\nUpdate: I have messaged some of you because I cannot reply to any of you. I have NOT taken the psych medication the doctor prescribed. I do not think it is needed as of now. I had hallucinations and paranoia before but it wasn't while sleep deprived. It's why she gave it to me. I drove myself to the hospital and I really hope they help me. I have never been to a psych hospital so I am very afraid of going to one. I don't like being locked in somewhere. I know it's safe and all but that makes me panic more. Thank you all for your responses. It's a little overwhelming for me to read them all and I've only read some. Some are very helpful and others actually give me a lot of anxiety.\n\n\n\nUpdate #2 (I know I seem crazy but it's a little story now so I decided to share): I left the hospital without being discharged cause I thought they were going to admit me. Turns out they weren't. The social worker asked questions and said she had to call my mom for collateral because I was there 6 days ago. She said it was unusual to come back after seeing a psychiatrist. So, after she had to leave due to someone getting an x-ray, I pulled all the wires and shit off of me, put my clothes on, and hid in the bathroom until the coast was clear. Their was a van and everything outside and I ran to my car, thinking it was for me. I was going to sleep in my car in a different parking lot cause I really thought they were still after me. Even went to Walmart to buy food for the night and a couple of other nights. \n\nEvery car behind me made me think it was a fuckin cop trying to get me back to the hospital. Even thought of buying a change of clothes so I wouldn't be noticed. Eventually, after a couple of hours of driving around, getting lost due to panic about being chased, and my parents calling me I decided to head home because I thought it was safe. The reason I didn't end up home in the first place was because I thought the cops were waiting for me at my house.", "post_id": "cjtwol"}, {"question": "Hopefully the cardiologist will order a Holter Monitor for you. It's an electrocardiogram that you wear for 24-72 hours. Maybe an echocardiogram, too.", "comment": "Hi, then. Relevant: 19 years, 1.93, 138kg, black, male. Not confirmed by psycho yet, but anxious and depressed. Septum deviation and taking corticoid and loratamed. Sedentary.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\nI was playing on my  pc, as I did all day - the day went by normally - until now... I felt an uneasiness. My heart raced, but I felt something in my throat. I put my hand on my left chest and my heart beats accelerated. I tried to take a deep breath to control and I sat on the bed. Worried, I already scored a cardio for this Friday, but since I do not control the time, I have to wait 8 hours. \n\n​\n\nBut my heart is weird rn. My heart is  normal  but  after accelerate again, especially when I feel a little more anxious. How to control this and what to do now? I'm afraid I'll lie down and something will happen. What the best position to rest?\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\nP.S; On 9/12/2018, I had a tachycardia. I was in good shape and I got up, boom, boom. My heart gave two strong beats, I lost the way for 5sec .. I was controlling to go to hospital the next day. The doctor, from what I related, said it was anxiety tachycardia. I even did the electrocardiogram and it was  all normal.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\nP.P.S: In these last days, when I go to sleep, those crises begin. Especially when I try to sleep on my stomach down or when I have thoughts about the future or imagining situations, it gives these accelerations and I always have to change my position. This does not happen during the day, only at night. That's why I'm sleeping in the day.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\nP.p.p.s: last year, maybe in November, I increase the pace of my wal to follow a friend and as it was not the normal pace, my heart beat faster - until here, normal. But the problem is that it seemed that only a part of him was beating, it seems that he was out of step.\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\nThank you. It seems that after leading a life of bad habits, they are finally charging me. Sorry, English is not my first language. ", "post_id": "aeq805"}, {"question": "It's a stupid fear. Listen to your doc.\n\nGoid luck cutting down on the painkillers.", "comment": "Just been prescribed Zoloft about a week ago , 50mg and I advised the doc I had been taking panadeine extra (codeine 15mg/500mg paracetamol) for about 2 years pretty much daily at the maximum prescribed dose (6-8 a day so 90-120mg codeine) for pain. \n\nI am cutting back on the panadeine extra as I realise the paracetamol is at a high dose for that long term use but it's going to be to be done gradually as I am a bit dependent on it now. \n\nAnyway, the doc said it's fine to take both at the same time. The pharmacist said it's fine to take both at the same time. I checked online and have become concerned about serotonin syndrome and don't know if that's a stupid fear?  I do get fasciculations and head pressure , but I called 3 pharmacists again today and they all said it's fine to take both together. \n\nNot so sure myself , just hoping for confirmation that it's ok to keep going ahead with the Zoloft. \n\nThanks. ", "post_id": "6n0rla"}, {"question": "give him some space and reach out in a month", "comment": "Ok so long story short, my boyfriend couldn't handle the pressure of being there for me so we broke up and stayed friends but he just won't talk to me anymore. He's gone silent and nothing I say will make him talk. ;( please help! I need your opinion and if you want the whole story, I'll email.", "post_id": "5kgtrj"}, {"question": "remain her best friend. she's going through a hard time. just gently maintain the platonic bf and tell her it's best for both of you.", "comment": "I met her when she was a freshman in high school and I was a senior. She had no friends and would just sit alone and draw pictures by herself. I met her when some guy snatched her notebook with all her drawings in it away from her. He and his friends were looking through all the pictures laughing. So I just walked up and told him that he better give it back(I've always been a tall intimidating person.) He gave it back, said sorry and walked away. Ever since then her and I have been best friends. She was like a little sister sort of. She hangs with my group and is like one of the guys. Even after I graduated I would pick her up from school most days and we would just hang out. I've seen every anime in existence because of her. She's super pretty and is the coolest girl ever. Last year she was almost raped walking home late at night. She messaged me that she thought she was being watched and followed. I got no response back when I asked if she was okay so I drove the route that she usually would walk home. I saw her things on the ground and thought the worse had happened. I found a car nearby in this empty parking lot and heard noises. When I opened the door her shirt was ripped open, she was bottomless, his hand was around her neck and she was resisting. I beat him so bad that he needed emergency care. It's been really rough for her ever since. She doesn't trust anyone but me and has panic attacks. The guy she was in a relationship with at the time it happened left her because she was \"too much to handle.\" Earlier today she sent \"I love you. I've always loved you.\" I wasn't thinking that kind of love because we tell each other that we love each other in a friends way. So I just replied with \"I love ya too\" and she sent \"no, I REALLY love you.\" Then she sent \"sorry\" and just changed the subject and hasn't brought it up since. \n\nI've never really thought her that way. I mean she is beautiful and amazing and the girl I care about most but I always saw her as a little sister. Just wondering how I should go about this and if she is really in love with me or if this has anything to do with her almost being raped. ", "post_id": "5mnfii"}, {"question": "Be prepared to comment about what you would bring to the practice (theoretical framework, prior experience). They may also want to see how you would mesh with the existing team so being appropriately outgoing and gregarious will go a long way.", "comment": "I really hope this is the right thread! I have a group interview tomorrow for a seat in a graduate mental health counseling program! I have never been so excited for something! I guess I am just here to ask advice, from people who have been through it before, on what to expect. I know every program is different, but having the slightest bit of knowledge beforehand would be so helpful!", "post_id": "f9e3wf"}, {"question": "I love this :D", "comment": "I'm extremely afraid of doing something wrong, being devalued, and getting rejected and abandoned by people I care about. When I get really depressed or down, this gets particularly bad because I'll just lie in bed feeling miserable, and then judge myself for feeling miserable. Doing things that are healthy for me (eating meals, doing chores, exercising, leaving the house) feels impossible because I feel like I'm worthless and hopeless. \n\nToday I was in this state. I knew that I should do some chores, make myself food, eat all of the food, and then go out and call one of my friends. But I felt like depression was weighing down my limbs and making it impossible to move. \n\nIt's really hard for me to convince myself that I'm worth something in this state, or to think anything positive by myself. Emotionally, that feels like absolutely not the truth, and I can't really be objective about my value when I'm so depressed and miserable. So rather than trying to tackle the issue of self-love head on, I took a bit of a shortcut with puppy talk. \n\nDogs sometimes refuse to follow orders even if you're telling them to do what's best for them, just like my body and the self-hating part of me does when I'm depressed. Nevertheless, when I see a dog, my first urge is to praise it and be kind to it, no matter what it does. \n\nSo I took up this mentality with myself. I was lying on the floor heavy with depression. I forced myself to get up, and then I said \"Good boy!\" to myself, which felt kind of silly, but also made me feel warm and happy. Then I walked three steps to the kitchen, said \"Good boy!\" to myself again, went to the sink to wash dishes, said \"Good boy!\" again, and so on and so on. I kept doing this, talking myself the way I'd talk to a dog and being nice to myself until I had gotten out the door. \n\nToday went from a \"stay in bed, dissociate, and hate yourself\" day to a \"go out, meet friends, walk around, exercise, and enjoy yourself\" day because I discovered this coping mechanism! Although I get that it might not be for everyone, I hope it helps someone else out there. :)  ", "post_id": "7eetdb"}, {"question": "Someone may have already said something like this, but I want to put out there--someone who comes in with full awareness of their BPD symptoms feels very different to many therapists than someone who doesn't. It can be less intimidating if a client were to come in demonstrating awareness of these behavior patterns. What can be so intimidating about BPD is that some people who have it (not all) can direct intense anger at others, which is even more intimidating if the person isn't aware of their patterns. They might get even more angry if the therapist tries to diagnose them with BPD or explain the patterns. \n\n​\n\nHowever, when someone has an awareness, sometimes the therapist feels more comfortable working with the behaviors, because the person is less likely to blow up if the therapist tries to give them feedback, since they're already aware. \n\n​\n\nThere is still, of course, the chance that a therapist might feel intimidated even if someone came in with that already-established awareness. But you wouldn't want to work with that therapist anyway, so at least you'll know it wouldn't be a good fit. :) Hope you find someone you click with!", "comment": "Tl;dr at bottom\n\nOne of my goals for when I start attending college in the fall is to start seeing a therapist or someone similar. I've been too scared to talk to my family about my mental health the past few years, so I've been silently suffering. \n\nI took AP psychology this past year, and as part of it, we looked in depth at some mental disorders. While I hate self diagnosing, I do believe that I may fit the criteria for borderline personality disorder. I researched BPD as part of a project in the class, and the more I looked into it, the more it seemed to fit my behavior and actions, especially in the past couple of years. \n\nMy one fear about seeing a therapist about having BPD is that apparently there is a huge stigma around it, even within the world of therapists. I'm afraid that if I am diagnosed with BPD, my therapist will act differently because of my diagnosis. How can I get over my fear of being rejected by a therapist due to a disorder I might not have?\n\nAnother issue that I might have is with medication. If I am diagnosed with BPD, or a piece of it like depression or anxiety, I know that I will probably be told to take medication. As far as I know, medication is administered through pills. I have a very strong gag reflex in the back of my throat, so I have never been able to take pills successfully. Are there any medications that I can take that aren't in a pill form? If not, what is a recommended way to take pills for someone who has difficulty swallowing them?\n\nTl;dr - How can I get over my fear of being rejected by a therapist due to a disorder I might not have? Are there medications that I can take that aren't in a pill form? If not, what is a recommended way to take pills for someone who has difficulty swallowing them?", "post_id": "cbc3h3"}, {"question": "I am not an endocrinologist, but it's worth discussion. a TSH of 5.6 is higher than normal, but not very. It does seem possible that the thyroiditis was still getting better and with a little more time you wouldn't need any treatment.\n\nSkipping beats could be from *hyper*thyroidism, which could happen if you are taking thyroid hormone when actually you are producing enough on your own.", "comment": "Male. 26. 195. 5\u20196\u201d. USA. White. Hx of heart skipping beats every now and then. I\u2019ve had several echos, EKGs, and a holter. The skipped beats have been determined to be benign.    \n   \nMy last visit to the PCP in February showed my TSH 16.6 and my T4 in upper 4\u2019s. T3, free t4, uptake, all normal. My thyroglobulin antibodies were 42 and an ultrasound showed thyroiditis without modules or cystic mass.   \n    \nMy endo said let\u2019s wait a month and recheck in case it\u2019s just transient. We rechecked and the TSH went all the way down to 5.6. He didn\u2019t test the T4 or antibodies. I called in to see what the new plan of care is and he had prescribed me levothyroxine 25mcg.  \n    \nI began taking it about 6 days ago and now I\u2019ve noticed my skipped beats are smaller in intensity but much more frequent.      \n    \n1. This drug is usually something one takes for life. But i don\u2019t think I can tolerate this increase in skipped beats for life. They feel like every minute several.    \n    \n2. Doesn\u2019t a drop from 16 to 5 suggest that he was right initially about it being transient? Maybe we needed to wait longer?    \n   \n3. What do you think about the thyroiditis and high antibodies?     \n    \nI had several chem and CBCs done and everything else was normal. I drink no caffeine, drugs, alcohol, smoking. Nothing. ", "post_id": "88uv0d"}, {"question": "I would avoid getting psych prescriptions from a GP. Instead, it would be wiser and healthier for you to see a psychiatrist if at all possible. They have training in those types of medications and are much more qualified to prescribe appropriate medications.", "comment": "So i have serious anxiety & panic episodes and really want benzos but i think my Gp is holding back because my dad abused alcohol and so did his mother. Does this actually happen?", "post_id": "1f66n5"}, {"question": "unless you live outside the US, she is below the age of consent. and maybe where you live too.", "comment": "Yea, typing the title makes me feel weird. But everything else about her is attractive to me. She's taller than I am and I'm 20 years old and \n 5'7\". We had a great time together playing apples to apples and talking with our folks at dinner. The whole afternoon she seemed fascinated in what I had to say. She has an almost aristocratical air about her. She is studying Latin and French with English. She's from a very wealth home. I learned all this yesterday afternoon. \n\nAs the fun slowed down, I made sure to get her alone upstairs. We were watching Sherlock on a couch when I put my arm around her. I kissed her on the cheek, figuring she would know for sure my intentions. I made sure not to do more in case she felt weird... \n\nShe went downstairs suddenly. Said she \"should probably\" go do that. She had told me a little earlier she had to go to bed in 30 Minutes. It had been about 1 minute. \n\nThe next day, I was alone in the house while the family went to a tennis game. I overslept. Up all night.\n\nAm I mad that she walked away? Did she just feel uncomfortable? She leaves tomorrow. \nI am not looking at myself very fondly right now, whatever the answer is. We haven't spoken since she last night. Could use advise/encouragement. I wish she haddnt left... but maybe it was for the best in a weird way. \n\n", "post_id": "74zmal"}, {"question": "A feeling of impending doom is more classic for heart attack (and, of course, panic attack) than for PE. The most common symptoms of PE are shortness of breath, rapid breathing, and chest pain, probably in about that order.\n\nMost importantly, PEs are rare out of nowhere. If you have no risk factors for it, those symptoms are almost certainly not a PE. Risk factors would be cancer, being immobile/bedbound for a long time, or having a history of PE or DVTs.\n\nWithout those, as a young and otherwise reasonably healthy person, *especially* with reason to have similar symptoms (panic), it's probably not a PE.", "comment": "Hey I'm an 18 year old 5'11, 135 pound Caucasian male with asthma and exema, allergies, pcs, anxiety and neck issues.\n\nI recently accidentally came across a group of doctors who were discussing pulmonary embolisms and the symptoms sounded very similar to an anxiety attack/anxiety disorder especially when they said a common symptom of PE is a feeling of empending doom and the feeling like you are certainly going to die. This is something I experience often also with my anxiety disorder as well as other symptoms such as strange feelings of pressure and pain in my chest, weird heart rhythm, and a bunch of other things.\n\nAnyway a lot of my symptoms match with those of a pulmonary embolism so I'm wondering how one can differentiate the two?", "post_id": "8ajws8"}, {"question": "Absolutely don\u2019t beat yourself up! One night of drinking out of 23 is phenomenal. Welcome back onboard!", "comment": "I asked on here what a good sober date night would be without having kids for a night. And a few awesome people gave me ideas. I stopped drinking September 27th. Which was one day before a NF concert I went to with my best friend who has been sober for 2 years. Crazy thing is, her and I became friends 13 years ago when we snorted a vicodin together the first night we met...obviously not knowing we'd become best friends through our using days and eventually when we both went to rehab at certain points in our lives. The night we went to the concert, she had 2 years under her belt and I had 1 day. My sobriety lasted 22 days before I relapsed. I had every intention on doing a puzzle with husband tonight while sipping some tea and being proud of myself. But it didnt happen. We went to the casino because it was me who said, \"lets go do something! We stay at home every night of our lives, we have no kids tonight.\" I dont like to gamble but I thought I'd take one for team (aka my amazing husband who can gamble without drinking & stop after losing 40 bucks) and try the slots. Wow i was winning and it was fun. I stayed away from the bar..easy peasy. Then a waitress came and asked if she could get me a drink. Michelob Ultra I replied. I drank it...followed by a few more. I'm sitting here typing this, slightly buzzed after 5 drinks and I'm not going to beat myself up. If I do, I know its going to follow with more drinking and depression. I messed up. But out of 23 days, I had some drinks ONE night. Which is my best streak I've ever had in over 2 years when I was drinking a 12 pack EVERY night. And 3 years ago, I was popping 12 vicodin every night on top of it. Tonight.....I'm proud of myself. I'm human and I'm going to mess up sometimes. I'm getting back on the sober train starting now. Thanks for letting me vent and sharing\u2661", "post_id": "dkft6t"}, {"question": "I love this idea. I met my best friend, now boyfriend through Reddit because I posted something about looking for a friend. Hopefully this helps other people.", "comment": "Hello, this is my first time posting here; I've been lurking for a few weeks.  I've noticed a trend--that I myself am also experiencing--of folks that feel like it's harder to connect with others and start up friendships.  \n\nI'd like to propose a sort of e-penpals 'project.' Anyone that is interested in sparking up a friendship or 'practicing' getting to know someone could comment on this thread (or even a separate subreddit?) and we could pair up or even do a sort of group chat thing.\n\nIf this is something we already do, please let me know and I'd love to join! \n\nA few ideas/examples of ways to 'pair' up:\n- Age \n\n- Gender (if you're more comfortable opening up to someone based on this criteria)\n\n- Location (allows potential for meeting up IRL if both parties feel comfortable)\n\n- Type of depression/coexisting issues (For example, I also have ADD and AvPD)\n\n- Hobbies\n\n- Randomly\n\n\nThanks for reading!", "post_id": "6ehxjd"}, {"question": "You only get one life and a belly button piercing is a harmless way to express yourself and be a little rebellious! I say go for it!", "comment": "But I'm too embarrassed.  Embarrassed at the thought of people I know finding out somehow.  Embarrassed at the thought of going in and telling them what I'm there for.  I've always liked to think that I don't care what people think, but apparently that isn't the case.  And that's a bummer.", "post_id": "burxdb"}, {"question": "I\u2019m a physician. He was completely inappropriate. Please report him so that he won\u2019t be able to do this to others. I\u2019m sorry he did this to you!", "comment": "This happened in Illinois. I have suffered from migraines and was referred to a neurologist. I am a 26 year old female, and doctor was fairly young (maybe low to mid 30s). During the visit, it felt like he was coming on very strong to me. He kept complimenting my looks, telling me how amazing I am, how good my body looks, etc. I am a stay at home mom right now with a toddler. The whole visit was extremely flirtatious and made me uncomfortable. I never once said anything like \"thank you\" because of how weird and uncomfortable it was. When I would change the subject or ignore the complement, he would almost act as if he had been rejected.\n\n​\n\n\nThe worst part was when he asked me if I would be interested in a more 'natural' treatment approach to migraines. He said that orgasms can help reduce migraines, and kept following up asking me about how often my husband and I have sex, telling me I could 'take care of myself' since I stay home, etc. He even said \"..I know some women aren't able to have orgasms, are you able to?\"\n\n​\n\n\n\nObviously I won't be going back to see him again, but I am curious if he technically did something wrong in this situation. He never touched me, or anything physical. I just feel like this type of behavior shouldn't be allowed, but when it is just his word vs. mine, there isn't much I can do now. I did some light research of my own after the visit, and it doesn't seem like orgasms are really a medically recognized treatment, so I feel that he might have overstepped by recommending that option? The situation seemed inappropriate to me based on the power dynamics of a patient - physician relationship, but I don't know if he technically did something wrong here.\n\n​\n\n\nI checked with the state board and his license is active. Couldn't find anything online that would indicate he has a record, or something like this has happened before. Do I just let it go? Obviously all the upstanding docs here on r/AskDocs wouldn't condone this type of behavior... but is this a gray area? \n\n\nRequired Info:\n\n\\- 26 years old\n\n\\-female\n\n\\- 5'-4\"\n\n\\- 115lbs\n\n\\- Caucasian \n\n", "post_id": "9ys3zi"}, {"question": "It's possible she is very dependent on you and it's draining your relationship. Its also possible that there's a codependent aspect to your relationship: the craving attention from you to boost her ego, using you to assuage your loneliness, you need to comfort her when things go awry; these are all signs of codependency. It's possible that's what causing the shut-in-ness. It's worth checking out at least. \n\nOr, she's just being really fucking selfish and asking you to attend to all her needs and not attending to any of yours. I would have a serious talk with her about your needs and desires. \n\nAlso, dude. You're attractive and 22. You have years to find a wonderful girl, and they are certainly out there. If you're not happy, and asking for what you need doesn't change anything, or you two can't compromise, leaving is probably the best answer. ", "comment": "I'm in a really weird situation right now.  My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and I am getting really bored of our relationship.  We hardly ever go out anymore, and despite my best efforts, we are becoming huge shut-ins.  I am a really outgoing and socially motivated person, and when we started dating she was too.  However, in the past year and a half, she has been focusing more on school than anything else in her life.  She is really excelling, and I am proud of her, but I feel really neglected by her.  However, I feel like she really needs me as a motivating and emotionally supportive force in her life.  She craves that I give her praise when she does well in school (and I do not use the word crave in a hyperbolic way, as she derives extreme pleasure from it) and that I am there to comfort her when things go awry.  I also feel that she likes having me around so that she doesn't feel lonely.  \n\nAlso, our sex-life has taken a huge step backwards.  I am a very sexual person and she knew this when we started dating.  At first the sex was good, and was getting progressively more adventurous and pleasurable.  But now it feels like we have hit quick sand.  Sex basically consists of me giving her oral sex and then me giving it to her missionary style.  I might get her to go on top if I'm lucky, but that is the farthest extent.  As a result, lately I have had a few thoughts of infidelity.  Not to be conceited, but I am an attractive guy and I garner a lot of female sexual attention when I go out, and that is something that I really want in my life, and I am very tempted to act on it... that being said, I will not give into infidelity, that is just not right for me.\n\nThere is a part of me that feels things have just gotten too stagnate, and that maybe ending things is the way to go, but she was a really rare find.  She is smart, pretty and funny, and we can work VERY well together.  And I have had a lot of experience with other women which  always leads to me getting really sick of them very quickly.  \n\nI don't know what to do, and I feel like if I leave my girlfriend it will destroy her, and that the grass will not really be greener on the other side.", "post_id": "1d50sr"}, {"question": "I appreciate your willingness to help your friend.  From a treatment provider's perspective, the prime factor in determining whether or not something like this would be effective is readiness.  Is your friend ready to make a change?  Is your friend motivated to change?  Or perhaps your friend has no intention or desire to change, and this is an attempt to convince him that he needs to change.\n\nNot to discourage your efforts, but I haven't heard any convincing evidence that interventions like this are effective; at least in the long run.  Having a single event/intervention will not likely be enough; your friend needs ongoing, persistent, and very very supportive encouragement if he is to make any long-lasting change.\n\nRegarding how to approach something like this, I would say to avoid blaming, conflict, arguing, anger, shaming; all these things breed despair and only serve to feed addiction.  Do provide compassion, support, love, hope, concern, optimism; these things welcome growth.\n\nI hope this helps.", "comment": "I am planning an intervention for a friend who is having some trouble with alcohol and coke. We are keeping the group small but as we have never been involved in one, have run into some questions. If anyone works in the substance abuse field or has been a part of an intervention before, I would appreciate the insight.\n-Do we need to hire a facilitator? If so, how would we go about doing so? -We are trying to decide if we should involve our friend's parents or not. They are pretty traditional, and honestly they are a bit of a wild card. We aren't sure how they would react..if they would be emotional and supportive or angry and attacking. We were thinking about giving him the chance to make some progress in his healing before involving them and telling him that if it gets any worse, we would have to let them know what is going on. Any thoughts on this? -How long should we allot for this? We are planning to do it right before a local AA meeting and then someone will accompany him to the meeting. We are thinking about two hours. -Are there any things we should definitely say/things we should avoid saying? It is hard for me to imagine the vibe of this whole thing.\nAny other advice you redditors can give would be super helpful. We are hoping this is effective and feel like the more prepared we are, the better chance we have of helping our friend.", "post_id": "130y4o"}, {"question": "Normal sinus rhythm does mean without arrhythmia. But it can be normal sinus rhythm with respiratory sinus arrhythmia, which is normal changes with inhalation and exhalation. Another possibility is sinus tachycardia, which is simply a fast heart rate. That can be due to exercise, pain, or anxiety, as well many other causes, many benign, some not.\n\nIf the 12-lead EKG gave an automatic abnormal read but the doctor cleared it, it's likely that it was a normal EKG. The automatic read is deliberately set to recognize problems where there are none (rather than miss any potential problem) and it's actually quite common to get garbage readings out of it.", "comment": "UPDATE: thank you for the input, it was actually really helpful when I had questions for my next doctors visit. As of now my primary care doctor believes it\u2019s Lyme Disease but decided to test my blood for some other things that I can\u2019t remember after I came in with new symptoms (pain in other body parts including the chest back and legs, muscle spasms, odd cold sensations in random spots). The immunoblot test didn\u2019t meet the criteria for a positive but 4 out of the 5 bands required for a positive were present so he suspects that it might be early stage. I have a follow up in a few weeks after taking some antibiotics I feel better than a few days ago.\n\n\n\n\nBackground\n\nAge: 24\nSex: female\nHeight: 5ft5\nWeight: around 135\nEthnicity: white, Ashkenazi Jewish\n\n\nI went to the ER with heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, shakiness, sudden intense nausea, and had pain in my arms, particularly the left, two days before being admitted. When I checked my pulse my heart rate was really fast before leaving my house to go to the hospital, but by the time I got there it had slowed down and I was told it was normal. Chest X-ray showed nothing, ER doctor suspected something was wrong with my neck for some reason. Went to my GP after being discharged because he was unable to meet me at the hospital and realized that the hospital never checked my blood sugar, so he has me draw blood in the lab and then has me do a neck X-ray. Neck X-ray turned out normal, still waiting on blood test results. The only thing so far that shows that anything is abnormal is the 12 lead EKG test.\n\nI am home but without feeling much better and the anxiety over not understanding any of what\u2019s going on isn\u2019t helping", "post_id": "cw9f5y"}, {"question": "You shouldn't get any withdrawal symptoms after just 3 days.\n\nWhat's it being prescribed for, and what meds have you been on previously?", "comment": "Hello! \n\nAs per the title I started taking Cymbalta about 3 days ago but it gave me some side effects I couldn't quite stick out (elevated heart rate, worse anxiety, and chills) so I decided to drop off of it. I called my pharmacists and they said I shouldn't have any issues after three days, however, I wanted to get some other opinions here. I've heard some stories about this drug (which I didn't look into until after taking it, sigh) where people have had intense withdrawal systems some people claiming only after taking it for a week or less. \n\nI'm inclined to think those are a bit on the dramatic side, has anyone had experience with this drug? I can't imagine after only 4 days I will experience the dire effects people who've taken it long term have, however, based on the stories of others should I expect anything? \n\nThank you! ", "post_id": "54d5l0"}, {"question": "VERY unhealthy dynamic. go to counseling or end it", "comment": "How do I move past this? its happened more times than I can count now. I approach the subject at hand in a calm and tactful manner (truthfully) but it doesn't seem to matter how carefully I tread, he switches off and he becomes unreachable. He finally gets back to me, sometimes after days, and we never talk about it. I guess after hes silent for that long, I begin to feel relieved he wants to talk again. \nHelp?", "post_id": "74uoqe"}, {"question": "Check with your state health department for recommendations on testing in your state: https://www.cdc.gov/publichealthgateway/healthdirectories/healthdepartments.html", "comment": "Hi! I [23F] Am a medical assistant at an urgent care center and primary care, so we\u2019ve been getting a lot of sick patients especially in the last few weeks come in with complaints of cough, fever, aches, and even some that have admitted travel (even though we have a sign saying we don\u2019t have the necessary tests for COVID-19). My question is, should I be tested for this virus as I have spoken to these patients very closely and taken their vitals before they admitted to traveler (one patient traveled from Seattle a few days prior to him being at the clinic) fever of 100.1, cough, flu-like symptoms and tested negative for the flu... my facility did NOT take the right precautions or care for us - as we did not even have the proper masks at the time and the manager, when informed about the patient from the nurses that we should send him out, did not care and said that Seattle wasn\u2019t an at risk place and that we could see him (and take his money) ... we\u2019ve had a lot of other cases of patients that made it back to triage that have traveled and have the symptoms. \n\nI have been coughing (moreso productive) and feeling fatigued. I know most patients can be asymptomatic not to mention I had a viral infection (common cold most likely my LY were high) last week so I\u2019m pretty worried now and that man I mentioned wasn\u2019t the only patient that\u2019s come in with a cough and fever and had traveled that i\u2019ve been face to face with in triaging. \n\nShould I get tested or wait for my symptoms to get worse and a rise in temp? (I also have been going to work bc i simply cannot take off). \n\nID REALLY APPRECIATE ANY COMMENTS AND ADVICE ANOUT THIS. As my coworkers and I are lost and our management is very nonchalant about this situation. Very disappointing.", "post_id": "fiuv6y"}, {"question": "there's not a whole lot of magic and mystery left in this world, but physical attraction is one of them.  if you're expecting every girl you date to look like a super model, then yes, your expectations are inappropriate.  otherwise, it's just chemistry.. [i have no idea why my dog sniffs one dogs privates and not another's]", "comment": "She is clearly attracted to me, but i don't find her physically attractive. I don't want to get in another ugly relationship but something in me says that i should give it a chance. If it blows up it would be awful because i share all my clases with her (college). Have you guys experienced something similar? do you have some advice for me? ", "post_id": "5tao73"}, {"question": "I initially felt a lot of judgement around my not-drinking-ness. I also totally used to qualify it with \"for now\". I think part of the reason I experienced a lot of shame and judgement is that people I hung out with drank like I did and were used to me participating in the fun. I also did a lot of hiding the pain I experienced as a result of drinking. So when I stopped the people I normally drank with were confused by the abrupt change to our relational dynamics. \n\nWhat is worse is that I carried that initial shaming and judgement forward into my sobriety and created this narrative for myself that the quality of not-drinking-ness was shameful and something that would incur judgement. I can honestly say now that that narrative does not hold up to reality. It doesn't even hold up in the little contact with my old fried group. \n\nYou are experiencing change and subsequently so are your friends. Give them time to learn the new dynamics of the relationship and recognize that the shame comes from an external place of confusion and fear rather than because it is actually indeed shameful. ", "comment": "I am struggling with something...why do you think it is a shameful thing to be a NON drinker? I'd like to think I am not ashamed, yet I fear what people might think when I let them know I do not drink. So, that is shame. Shouldn't I be proud to be healthy and taking care of myself? In the world I live in-one full of yoga, eating pretty green, sunshine and happiness-I am still apprehensive about who I tell that I don't drink. I even qualify it with \"for now\" as if that lessens the dirtiness of not drinking. ", "post_id": "5vzjw8"}, {"question": "I have a feeling psychotherapy would have a limited effect. I would focus more on A) being kind to yourself, B) pacing youself, and C) getting creative to find ways to do more than one thing. Maybe you need a nap every day. Maybe you can\u2019t do a second task that requires concentration, but you can do something mindless/repetitive that is still useful.  Maybe certain tasks are easier to do with a sharp mind, and others don\u2019t require it so much.  \n\nLike, I could never read a book in the afternoon, but I could noodle around on my guitar for hours.  \n\nOr, I bathe at night, because I don\u2019t need energy or focus to do it. If I did it in the morning, it would take up energy I need for something else.  \n\nI also choose low stress activity when possible.  Like I take a bath instead of a shower because it literally saves energy if I don\u2019t have to stand up.", "comment": "Most people can do multiple things a day like having a job, having hobbies and doing sports, but i can't. I work 11 hours a week and i try to finish school and i want to make music and do sports, but that doesn't work for me. When i work for 5 hours in the morning i can't do anything else in the afternoon. On the days i study i can't make music or  go running, because i can only focus on one area of my life. I can't even do normal chores on days where i have something else to do and it seems impossible to have a life because of it.\n\nDo you know if this is a problem due to asperger's syndrom and if autism-therapy could help with that?", "post_id": "i7aijs"}, {"question": "Dr. George Vaillant of Harvard University was a recognized expert on alcoholism was invited to join AA\u2019s board of trustees as a nonalcoholic member. He was interviewed in AA\u2019s Grapevine in the May 2000 issue. In in he said that most Alcoholics who recover from alcoholism do so without the help of AA or any other treatment. He said that they accomplish what AA\u2019s do by other means, he said they achieve a profound change in personality.  I\u2019m sober 41 years and I know people who stop drinking on their own and lead useful and happy lives. I couldn\u2019t do it on my own. I think that\u2019s the difference. If you want to join us, you\u2019re free to call yourself a member of AA when you say that you are one of us. Hope is one of our guiding principles. If you feel hopeless, we are offering you hope for a complete recovery and a wonderful way of life.", "comment": "Full-Blown Alcoholics\nIn the book \"Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book\" alcoholism is referred to several times as \"a hopeless condition of mind and body.\"\n\nThis is not referring to someone who simply has a drinking problem, or on occasion drinks too much, or someone who has developed a mild alcohol use disorder.\n\nIt refers to people who are full-blown alcoholics, described by Dr. William D. Silkworth in the Big Book:\n\n\"All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.\"\n\nI wish there was more distinction on how they are classified. Is a non hopeless alcoholic just a heavy drinker? Is it someone who will become a hopeless alcoholic? If the alcoholic quits drinking before they become hopeless do they \"need\" AA?\n\nSo many questions.", "post_id": "fxixyh"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "What can I do about my trust issues? I came out of a relationship where I (think I did) nought wrong and got cheated on by her with her best friend at the time. Current gf is going out clubbing tonight with a couple and a single guy. The guy (her best guy friend) has been interested in her before but years ago. I see red flags basically where there is no cause for alarm this time around. What do I do? I am deeply in love with this girl and can see myself spending the rest of my life with her so long as I get over my trust issues... \n\nTl;dr: Girlfriend going out with a friend who was interested in her. I see red flags, I probably shouldn't... how do I get rid of them?", "post_id": "6nb6ay"}, {"question": "It will be tough, but it's important to take some time to reflect on yourself. Who are you? What's important to you? How do you define yourself? Are you able to define yourself outside of your relations to others? \n\nHere's some thought exercises: Can you name one event in your life (or activity that you have done) where you didn't care about what others would think of you while you did it? Give yourself some time to think about it. The things you do that don't involve anyone else's opinion, those are things you do for YOU and are unique to your identity. If you truly can't think of any moment, event, decision or interest - now is the time to explore and gain some new experiences and interests. Think about what could be improved in your life - some way that YOU could look on your own life and feel that it is better - not better by someone else's standards, but better for YOU so that YOU feel more happy and satisfied with life.\n\nI don't know you but I'm guessing you are relatively young still, and maybe you just haven't experienced enough yet to really define yourself in great detail. That's fine and normal! Youth is all about finding your identity and figuring out your direction in life. Know that YOU are ultimately in control in all your situations. Even when you do something because of how it makes you look or make a choice based on what others think... know that it is still YOUR choice, and you have the power to make a different choice at any time even if it is scary or unfamiliar.", "comment": "I am addicted to others' interests and praises, I also very sad and insignificant that's why I am playing the victim usually, all I want to be normal but always seeking people's attention. Why should I be like this? Shall I wait by death to be different? I want to be strong like others, I want to stand on my feet alone and endure to all hardships and deprivations of life. But all I have done is doing what other people like, acting like what if I say they like me much. I am a complete idiot I knew. thx for every kind of advice redditors", "post_id": "eaas0r"}, {"question": "Part of what helped me was acceptance that I'm still gonna cycle no matter what and that it was okay. I wasn't falling apart, rather there was some sort of weird balance there that kept me afloat as long as I have enough self care on the hard days. ", "comment": "I'm currently on a journey to find my mental stability. But everyday, this journey seems to get more and more difficult. Today, for instance, I felt such intense emotions, I just went from upset crying, to panic, to full blown rage. Screaming fits, irrational thoughts, and all. Does anyone else feel this way? I can't stop the rage sometimes when it comes on and it can last for hours. I can rant and ruminate on a thought for hours, sometimes even days. I am on an antidepressant and anxiety medication but sometimes I feel like like it doesn't truly help me feel less anxious or depressed. Just wanting to hear if there are others out there feeling this way and if so what do you guys do to make yourselves feel better? ", "post_id": "3ftbcj"}, {"question": "My expectations are soon to become my frustrations. We had this topic Wednesday night at the homegroup on not getting the outcomes you want or expect. I know you're an AA guy as well so you can definitely find comfort in the fact that your higher power has the right thing in store for your future. Just gotta strap in for the ride of your life.", "comment": "Having an outcome today that is not what I had hoped for.   \nNot getting what I want.    \nWhen I want it.   \nOn the silver platter I secretly crave/think I somehow deserve.   \nServed by naked handmaidens....   \n(Am I an addict or what?)\n\nTruth is this is not a big thing, really quite minor, my glass is still 95% full, and I am aware of my feelings and am not letting this get to me.  One way of doing that is telling on myself.\n\nThey say expectations are resentments waiting to hatch.   Not this time.", "post_id": "1hp9vn"}, {"question": "The same way anyone else does.  Everyone has anxiety and most people experience a fair amount when looking for/applying to/interviewing for jobs.  The worse your anxiety is, the harder it is to push through, but if you want or need a job then it's something you have to do.  \n\nLooking for jobs in a way that's going to increase your chances of being successful are really going to push your limits but be good for you as you'll be forced to expose yourself to a ton of anxiety producing situations.  \n\nBest thing to do is to go around to or call around to as many companies you can that may be hiring in the field you want to work in and ask if they have any job openings, ask questions about the jobs, and find out what the application process is like.  \n\nSocial anxiety no matter how severe, is only as debilitating as you allow it to be.  That doesn't mean you get to choose whether you're terrified or not.  It just means that when you're terrified, you make the choice of whether you push on, run back, or stay stuck.  ", "comment": "I recently failed my big final year of university due to SA and now I am having to try and look for a job. How does someone with severe SA diagnosed by a doctor go about looking for a job.", "post_id": "9yfnri"}, {"question": "Did you have an MRI done? CT?", "comment": "Age- 22\nSex- M\nHeight- 5'9\" (175cm)\nWeight 200lbs (91kg)\nRace- Multiracial\nDuration of complaint- 1 Year\nLocation (Geographic and on body)- Eastern U.S, Eyes/ Head\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any)- Autism Spectrum Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder\nCurrent medications (if any)- None\nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example)- None\n\nHey Internet,\n\nFirst off, I'll concede fully that I know getting medical help over the internet isn't necessarily a good idea and that I should probably just go to a doctor but I'm afraid of what they'll tell me.\n\nSometime last year, I noticed I was having double vision. I was hungover, typing something, and it didn't go away. I more or less spent the next month constantly panicked, worried I'd developed some kind of neurological disease. I eventually went to the best neuro opthalmologist in my state (Last February), and his words fell along the lines of \"I can't see anything wrong with your eyes.\" What the fuck does he know, right?\n\nAnyways, it never really went away and I'm sweating in my desk at work now certain I have glioblastoma or something and I'll fall dead on the train tracks before I get squished into meat paste. Within the past week or so, the \"ghost image\" I've been seeing feels like its translating to stuff I touch- like two pieces of gum next to each other in my mouth or two thumbs on my phone when I'm scrolling. Like there's two of my body next to each other.\n\nAlso my eyes are really dry, and my right eye twitches often.\n\nI have a lot of stressors/ work tasks I can't really move around so if this is anxiety gone wild idfk how I'll deal with it.\n\nHelp a brother out, I guess?", "post_id": "asb02e"}, {"question": "It sounds like going go an aa meeting, finding a sponsor, and beginning the 12 steps would really help with all of these issues...seriously,  what you're going through is so common. About every one of us has experienced exactly what you're experiencing right now. You have an addiction... These are the side effects. Start by going and hitting as many different meetings as you can.", "comment": "I have done so many humiliating things because of my addiction to alcohol. I\u2019m struggling with the shame from these and afraid of the depths I have put myself in. I don\u2019t trust myself...\nI want to do better but these memories are haunting me. I\u2019m so ashamed of what I have become...I have let people down who deserve better, I have embarrassed myself so much. \nI really don\u2019t like what I have become and feel like disappearing. How do I live with myself after all this...\nI don\u2019t know where else to reach out to ask how to cope with these feelings. ", "post_id": "b3luvo"}, {"question": "The best plan is to write down each issue you want addressed and any questions you may have for the doctor. Keep it on you and read off the sheet, or if you are super overwhelmed hand the questions over to the doc. They\u2019ll take care of the rest.", "comment": "I (19F) want to visit a doctor for STD testing, I also want to see someone about my irregular periods. Separate visits, I\u2019m sure. (Which should I do first, if it matters?)\n\nI\u2019ll be going alone, more than likely, and I want to know exactly what I should be saying. If I should call or go in to set up an appointment, the vernacular I should use, what will actually go down when I get in there, etc.\n\nI feel pathetic but anxiety really is no joke. I can\u2019t allow it to prevent me from caring for my health so I want to prepare best I can to ease my nerves.", "post_id": "hdazxo"}, {"question": "I\u2019m a doctor. Make good money. Live in a nice house. Married. I\u2019m intelligent. I\u2019m funny. I\u2019m quirky. \n\nAnd here I am.", "comment": "I won't say my life is very gifted but I don't have financial problems. I think I am more intelligent than most other people. I have a satisfactory job and my career prospect seems to be reasonably promising. I have dated and had sex with some good girls although also with bad girls and I don't have any girlfriends now.\n\nBut I don't feel any sense of accomplishments. All my accomplishments are just facts and honestly my accomplishments aren't really distinctive when compared with other better people. I understand it's meaningless to compare but I feel also meaningless to anything I have done and planned to do. The voice inside is always, 'So What?'. I am empty even though my stomach, my body and my life is full.", "post_id": "e9xvcd"}, {"question": "People turn to the internet to complain about the people in their lives because THEY RAN EVERYONE AWAY WITH THEIR TOXIC PERSONALITY TRAITS AND DON\"T HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO TALK TO!! It had to be said. lol ", "comment": "I\u2019m applying to grad school at the moment to become a therapist. I\u2019ve had nothing but good experiences with my therapist I used to go to. But since getting on Reddit I see a lot of negativity towards therapists.\nI get that there\u2019s bad people in every profession, but I feel like I see a lot of hate for therapists, particularly on this sub. \nIt\u2019s making me really scared to become a therapist if people really seem to hate them. I genuinely want to help people because I know what it feels like and I hope to one day help my patients, but all the negativity I see about therapists has me feeling really sad/pessimistic about it.", "post_id": "a7bssl"}, {"question": "MMPI2 is over 300 questions long and does not inherently tell you anything without an interpretation done by a trained professional. It is heavily copywritten and it will be hard to find a hard PDF copy. \n\nYou can't even really order the test without proper credentials. What is it you are looking to know?", "comment": "Does anyone have the link for the original MMPI-2-RF test? I have seen some posts about it on Reddit but the links are broken since they were posted like 2 years ago. Thanks.", "post_id": "enqs4f"}, {"question": "Its better that way, it means youre getting good quality of sleep.", "comment": "I never remember my dreams - when I say never, I really mean it... I very rarely remember I have been dreaming, but I can never recollect the content of the dream. \n\nIs there any trick that could help me better remember what goes on in my mind during my sleep ?", "post_id": "5fokr9"}, {"question": "If you aren't heavily exercising 4-5 times a week it's the #1 thing to decrease sleep problems like that. It needs to be serious exercise like a whole, regulation game of basketball or an hour of swimming or 25km on a bike. Going to the gym won't cut it if you don't really work yourself silly. \n\nAlso a worry journal, sleeping with someone and meditative practice can help", "comment": "Hello!  I was wondering if any fellow strugglers might have discovered good coping mechanisms they would be willing to share?  As soon as the sun sets, my anxiety increases.  Right before bed, I am very anxious and wake up multiple times throughout the night, sometimes with panic attacks.  Usually listening to music helps but it's been going on for several months now and I am so tired.  As soon as the sun rises, I sleep like crazy but then I sleep some of my day away.... Has anyone else struggled with this and found something that helps them get good, uninterrupted sleep???  Thank you so much :)", "post_id": "fdozli"}, {"question": "the idea isn't so much cheating--in the largest sense that refers intercourse--  it's more that you put yourself in a situation with another guy that wasn't going to turn out well, and he has a right feel let down/betrayed", "comment": "My boyfriend (17/m) and I had been dating for a year, and we really loved each other. There was nothing about him I disliked and I really enjoyed being in this relationship with him. \n\nI went to a party with a group of friends, thinking I knew a lot of people and there was parental supervision so I was in a safe space. This resulted in me drinking way more than I could handle (which is completely my fault, I didn't know my limits and I take the blame for going overboard) and can only remember small parts of the night. A guy I went to school with when I was younger was there, so we spoke and started catching up, however he made it clear he was interested in me romantically, so I told him I had a boyfriend and wasn't interested before leaving him to find my friends. I don't really remember anything else from the night. Two of my friends and I left, and we all stayed the night together at one of their homes. The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover I'd ever had, and was sick all morning. One of my friends told me that last night, she'd seen me making out with the guy I mentioned earlier. I was so shocked, especially because I genuinely had no memory of it, and I was absolutely against cheating. I asked her why she hadn't stopped me and she said that she had tried, but I didn't respond to her when she asked what I was doing. Another friend later told me that he had seen me throughout the night, lying on the ground and unable to walk or speak. \n\nI told my boyfriend about a month after it happened, because I was so scared of what his reaction would be. He ended up dumping me, saying that I had cheated on him and that I 'clearly just wanted attention from other guys' and all of this really nasty stuff. I explained to him that I had no memory of it, that I didn't like or want the guy who had kissed me, how much of a bad state I was in, and that I was so so sorry, but he said being drunk was just an excuse girls use when they cheat. I'm so upset, because I don't see this as me cheating on him, I see this as me being taken advantage of in a near-unconscious state. He's now gone and told his friends that I cheated on him, which has spread around my school. Is he correct in saying that I'm to blame? I know it's my fault for getting so drunk in such an unsafe environment, but can he really call what happened 'cheating'? \n\ntl;dr - i got blackout drunk at a party and don't remember kissing someone else. is this cheating or did I get taken advantage of?", "post_id": "5rf97b"}, {"question": "There are a handful of options here:\n\n1. Total scam in that this person doesn't exist and eventually you'll be asked for money or something else\n\n2. She exists but the pics or story are fake, catfishing for some other reason (she's not as attractive, her real life story isn't as great, etc).\n\n3. That's her, but she's mostly interested in getting a green card moreso than you as a person\n\n4. She's a nice Russian girl who'd like to find a nice U.S. guy for legit reasons\n\nThat's what I could think of, maybe there are others. If you're interested in her, I think all you can do is continue to get to know her to figure out what's going on. Trust but verify?", "comment": "I'm almost 30 and have been alone most of my life. Recently got signed up with match.con and sent a couple messages. One day this woman from Philly \"likes\" one of my pictures, but match.com charges to read and send messages. I go to her profile and it says she doesn't have any premium subscription, and to just send a letter to her gmail. Against my better judgment, I did. Turns out she is not in Philly, she is Lesosibirsk, Russia. Seemed like a scam at first, but we've just been emailing back and forth a few weeks. She's sent numerous photos of herself, her mother, her father who was killed in Afghanistan in 87, and has stories of college, work , and growing up in a mid sized Siberian town. I told her I was worried it was a scam and she didn't seem defensive about it, she just said she had no intention of asking for money. The letters seem to be computer translated, there are a number of words that don't translate perfectly, but the meaning and context come through well enough. She talks about finding lI've and what not, and says she thinks I'm friendly and have things in common. Also, she's absolutely one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. So, am in the process of getting scammed?", "post_id": "440url"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong to ask your psychologist, who knows you much better than we will. ", "comment": "I'm a 16 year old male teenager who suffered from atypical autism in early childhood. With the help from my family, psychologist and high IQ(I'm not bragging here), I guess I don't have it anymore. I am sometimes socially awkward though.\n\nI sometimes feel really happy, confident and energetic, but this doesn't last forever. On the next day, I may feel hopeless, guilty, sad and unmotivated but I also feel spoiled because I don't really have a reason to be sad, which makes me feel even more guilty. I made some research and found out my symptoms match with cyclothymia. I don't know if I really have a condition or I'm just trying to turn myself into a special snowflake. Should I talk to my psychologist about my concerns or am I just being edgy?\n\nOther things:\n\n178 cm height\n\n81 kg weight\n\nI smoke 5-10 cigarettes a day and sometimes drink (though usually not binge).\n\nI also spend money a lot, I really don't know how or why.", "post_id": "75yco9"}, {"question": "HbSAb indicates immunity, usually from immunization. A level of 6.4 is not a strong indicator of immunity, though. It might be worth rechecking and possibly re-vaccinating.", "comment": "Female\n\n5'7\n\n220 pounds\n\nCaucasian Canadian  \n\n\n​\n\nI recently went in to get STI/STD testing. The following results came back and I'm waiting for the clinic to open to go talk to someone perhaps but hoping for a little insight to avoid worrying.  \n\n\n**Hepatitis B Immunity -** Hepatitis B Surface Ab \\[HBsAb\\]   \n**Results: 6.4**  \n\n\n**Hepatitis B -** Hepatitis B Surface Ag \\[HBsAg\\]   \n**Results: NOT DETECTED**  \n\n\n**Hepatitis C -** Hepatitis C Ab  \n**Results: NOT DETECTED**  \n\n\nDoes this means I don't have it, but am immune to it? I've been trying to look up what the 6.4 means but haven't been having much luck in fully understanding.   \n\n\nThanks! :)  \n", "post_id": "9pj1jo"}, {"question": "Don\u2019t let this opportunity go!  He\u2019s there for you and understands you.  He sounds perfect.  Depression is not so hard when you have someone to support you. ", "comment": "...and I feel terrible about luring him into my mental problems and I feel terrible about not feeling happy for myself right now and rather wishing he didn't do it and that he would hate me instead.\n\nI'll probably end up rejecting him to make things easier on him and myself in the long run and then will regret it to a degree, but not enough to make a different choice right now. I just find myself incapable of accepting or pursuing happiness, because I know I'll be the reason for it to be ruined and being even worse afterwards for everyone involved. I can hardly identify happiness anymore. What does it feel like again?\n\nWe talked quite a few times about my depression and autism in the past and when he confessed he said it would be okay and he'd do everything to help me and be here for me, but I know it wont work and that I don't deserve him wasting his time on me and he even deserves less so to get false hope from me...\n\nMy heart made a single jump when he confessed, butterflies emerged in my stomach for a brief moment, but it was quickly replaced with all these realizations and thoughts inside my head leading to telling him \"thank you\" and that I'd have to think about it, but I think I already made up my mind in that very moment.\n\nWhy the fuck can't I just be happy that someone I am into is into me as well and go for it? That's a rhetorical question.\n\nFuck depression, fuck being an autist who can't turn her brain off and just *act*... just - fuck it!\n\nI just had to write this down, tell \"someone\", thanks to whoever read this.\n\nEdit: Just to clarify, since it came across the wrong way. He knows I am depressed and autistic, but he doesn't know anything in-depth. Barely that these words exist in my life.", "post_id": "92ictg"}, {"question": "Say just that. Show the counselor this post if you\u2019re having trouble with words. Helping you to identify and verbalize emotions is part of what a counselor does! ", "comment": "I have never been to a counsellor before, although I have been struggling with mental health since I was 8.\n\nWhen I was 8 I developed many compulsive routines, tapping routines, turning light switches on and off a certain amount of times, not getting right arm wet in shower etc because I believed that my family would die if I did not do them. This went on for about a year until the routines became so long and obvious that I could no longer hide them. At the time I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I knew that what I was doing was very weird. It was a huge struggle but I basically managed to tell myself I was being irrational and go cold turkey on my main tapping routine that I did in public, and over the next few years I slowly got rid of other small routines and weird behaviors which had become so automatic I didn't realise I was doing them.\n\nWhen I was about 9 after I got rid of my main tapping routine, I decided I was fat, in about 6 months I lost 9 kilograms. People started noticing and commenting that I was skinny and so I decided I had to stop as I couldn't hide it any longer.\n\nI have been extremely shy as long as I can remember, I can't even begin to explain the endless social situations that make me feel anxious on a daily basis. I have always been known as the most quiet, awkward and shy person in any group, I completely freeze and withdraw from most conversations in groups, speaking to new people is nerve wracking, I feel uncomfortable in public like I am always being judged etc. \n\nBecause of this I had a very difficult time making friends, in particular during years 7 and 8 in school. Through year 7 I had 1 very close friend in my year level who I would feel terrified if I had to go to a class without her, or if she was absent for a few days. At the end of year 7 we had a falling out which left me with no one I felt comfortable around at school, as well as being bullied. This made me terrified of going to school to the point that I somehow found my way out of going 2-3 days per week for the entire year, I would also fake being sick for weeks at a time as well as actually getting sick way more often and for longer than I usually would. I felt extremely depressed, this was my first time ever experiencing such a strong negative emotion for such a long period of time (the whole year) and so I didn't realise that this feeling was not going to last forever, I thought that if this is how I am going to feel the rest of my life then what is the point in living, I wasn't going to kill myself in the near future, but I really wanted to be killed by something else.\n\nI moved schools in year 9, somehow made a solid friendship group and was never bullied once more. However ever since that time I have had unexplained periods of feeling that depressed feeling again, either for weeks or a couple of months. During these periods I lose motivation, lose my appetite, want to sleep all the time, although have a lot of trouble falling or staying asleep, cry at least once or sometimes all through the day if there is no one around, want to go out to distract myself, but can't stay out too long because I can't hold my emotions together long in public. It gets in the way of productivity, I take hours to get small tasks done because I can't stop crying. Luckily these periods only occur a few times a year, and a lot of the time I do not feel like this at all, although I dread the next time it will happen again.\n\nCurrently I am in a good mood, although it is getting concerning to me that it is time to get some help, mainly for my extreme shyness since my future career requires good communication skills which are currently impaired.\n\nI have not gotten help before because before I was about 12 I had no idea that what I was experiencing were potentially mental health issues, and by the time I learned about mental health I thought I had mainly fixed myself (stopping compulsions and losing weight). My anxiety in social situations has been a part of my personality my whole life and so I think it has just become normal to me, although I doubt it should be, I improve very slowly every year and so have not gotten help hoping that it will disappear over the years, but I am sick of being embarrassed by it being so obvious to everyone around me, and to it impairing my function in everyday social situations. I have never gotten help other than talking to a school counsellor about irrelevant issues hoping he would magically guess and help because I hate the idea of anyone being worried about me, I feel guilty about having such bad feelings, as well making drama.\n\nI sound like a complete emotional disaster after saying all of this haha, and I have never told anyone any of this. I am physically able to function most of the time, it is just not always easy and people probably think I am a bit weird.\n\nI have no idea how to explain all of this to the counsellor, I think that it is important that I do though, I am feeling worried about my first appointment.\n\nTips, advice and reassurance would be very appreciated .", "post_id": "7zwmok"}, {"question": "It's about the maximum dose of acetaminophen you should take at a time and a significant but not unreasonable dose of oxycodone. After five hours it's much more like stacking two doses, and you 'll be fine.", "comment": "Hi. I forgot I already took the pill and took it again, then again. Its the v4839 pill (325 mg acetaminophen and 5mg oxycodone hydrochloride).\n\nIts been about 1 hour since my third pill. The first one was about 5 hours ago. Second one about 30 minutes before 3rd pill.\n\nI feel fine. Is this something I need to be concerned about or should I wait it off?", "post_id": "97niaf"}, {"question": "ask the right questions until you feel you can trust", "comment": "*Just a warning, this is going to be lengthy*\n\nSo i have been in a relationship officially for 6 months. The guy that i am in a relationship with, was my first  . I currently am in college, and as you may or may not know, just like public school, colleges have vacations. I am technically an international student, so when i go on vacation i go to a different location. The guy i am with, is born and raised in the city in which i go to school. \n\nSo, I went away for Thanksgiving vacation and his sister picked me up from the airport. We were talking about him and stuff, and she said something like, \"You know , we never thought that he would ever get over [insert ex girlfriend #1's name here]\" Ex-girlfriend #1 is also his first girlfriend, so pretty much his first everything. So, that name is very familiar because up until recently, he ALWAYS talked about her and it didn't click to me until his own sister said something about it. So, when his sister dropped me off, i thought about it for a longggg time. Then, I figured out the name of his ex before me(Ex girlfriend #2), and i messaged her. I simply asked her if he mentioned her a lot during their relationship. She said yes so strongly. So me and her conversed for bit, and i told her that i didn't believe that he was over ex-gf #1. I get the whole \"first love\" thing, i guess, but theres a difference between having a first love and missing your first love. He misses her and its obvious. He always compared us, #1 this, #1 that. Because I'm not really a jealous , i didn't really care, until his sister brought it up, which is why i messaged ex-gf #2. NOW, Him and ex-gf #2 are in the same Army unit, Im not insecure about Ex-gf #2 being around him because she's engaged HOWEVER, she can't keep her mouth shut. So immediately she messages him after our conversation. So the next day, he asks me if there was something bothering me. So, I said, obviously you and Ex-gf#2 spoke, so ill just tell you that you talking about ex-gf #1 pisses me off a little. He told me that he has no feelings for her and he was sorry about talking about her so much. So i forgave him and whatever. So i asked him when was the last time he had spoke to ex-gf #1 . He told me that she was ALWAYS hitting him up and things. So, the crazy in me came out just bit. So i messaged ex-gf #1, and was like hey, don't text or message him, you guys have no reason to talk. It took her HOURS to respond, but when she did, you are never going to guess the response i got. She was like \"thats fine, i won't message him, but will you tell him not to message me\". So i was confused and i asked her, when the last time he messaged her was. He had messaged her the Saturday before i got home from vacation, mind you, i got home on Sunday. When she responded to me, she responded with text screenshots from him, asking her if she could hang out with him and telling her how good she looks, etc etc, all things inappropriate for a guy who has a girlfriend to be saying. This girl was completely honest with me and told me that she has a boyfriend, didnt hang out with him and actually told me she blocked him on all social media.\n\nHeres my dilemma, i don't know what to do, most people tell me that i should leave him, because history repeats, but my mother told me that i should take under consideration that he didnt ACTUALLY cheat, or at least i don't know and i will never know, so what do i do? \n", "post_id": "5lj7uu"}, {"question": "I once had a coworker who would bring a whole bag of baby carrots to meetings and eat them ALL- crunching and munching for at least an hour straight. This happened many times. I've never met anyone with less self-awareness. ", "comment": "Every. Single. Day. \n\nCrunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch \n\nFinish one bag of chips, open another. Crunch crunch crunch crunch \n\nSmack smack smack slurp smack smack\n\nI\u2019m about to fucking lose it", "post_id": "ao9k83"}, {"question": "ultimatum gets a bad rap.  ultimatum just means  \"i need/want this, and if you don't, then it's not going to work\".  it's always best to ask and be direct.", "comment": "Hey first time I come to here for advices..\n\nThere's a girl (solid 9/10) who I've matched on tinder 6 months ago (I'm a solid 6/10 not handsome I skip you the details).\n\nWe chat she seems cool but the discussion ends. Long story short she sends me a message 2 weeks after with her number and she wants to talk. I get in contact we talk but she doesn't reply effectively (24 hours for response) so obviously the discussion ends. A few weeks after she sends me a WhatsApp message we talk but I'm very busy (med school probs ...) and the discussion dies again. However we keep on snapchatting.\n\nNow a few days ago she found my facebook and added me. Obviously she wants us to have something so I'm like talking to her but again she goes online and doesn't answer my messages ! I don't know what to do to progress here. \n\nSo I'm thinking about getting forward with her and ask her what she wants from this and why is she so un participative for talks. Kinda like an ultimatum. \n\nHowever I feel like it could also jeopardize our whole thing.\n\nI am desperately in need of good advices. ", "post_id": "5u2idw"}, {"question": "Mainly cumulative exposure (over your lifetime) is the biggest problem, though obviously drinking serious amounts in a short space of time is a toxic risk.\n\nTheres no great evidence for drinking over, say, a week. Ultimately its common sense drinking thats safest.", "comment": "There have been conflicting studies as to whether or not a drink or two a day is good/bad/neither, but I've seen quite a few studies indicating that more than X drinks in a day is bad.\n\nDoes it make any difference if you have X drinks all together or spread out over the day?  (I'm thinking of situations where you might sip your drinks over the course of an afternoon/evening, so you might consume quite a few drinks while not getting more than somewhat buzzed.)", "post_id": "6jvqre"}, {"question": "Hi. You might have a look at Dialectical Behaviour therapy, DBT. While it was originally designed for people who have Borderline Personality and/or self harm it can be useful for a range of difficulties. There is a large emphasis on emotional regulation in this therapy and thats why i mention it here. There are some v good websites and books on this, as well as the option of finding a Dbt therapist. Best wishes. ", "comment": "I drink because I don\u2019t know how to regulate myself emotionally. I used to tell myself that I drink because it\u2019s fun and I like to have a few to relax. True alcoholics drink to numb themselves, but that\u2019s not me. It can\u2019t be me. \n\nTruth is, these last couple years have been very hard. A death in the family, family drama, souring relationship with my parents. Everybody has shit, right? I barely even remember last year because of how much I was drinking on a regular basis. I got things somewhat under control this year, in the sense that I\u2019m not drinking daily like I was. Only on weekends now. I know that won\u2019t last. It\u2019s already getting worse again.\n\nWhat kind of life is that? Most aspects of my life are actually great.. I have an awesome job. My career is advancing quickly. I\u2019m going to school for a masters. I just bought a house with my adoring fianc\u00e9. I\u2019m getting married in 6 months to my best friend. So, why do I drink? If I keep numbing myself, I can\u2019t even enjoy the good things in my life. I\u2019m just existing. And I\u2019m tired of it. I want to enjoy life, and learn how to roll with the punches. Life is too short to live in a numbed state.\n\nToday is day one, again. I need support. No one outside of my fianc\u00e9 knows I drink. Thanks for reading this. IWNDWYT.", "post_id": "8x2hyc"}, {"question": "Excessive salt intake IS dangerous, and in extreme cases lead to hospitalisation.\n\n[How much salt is good for me?](http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/1138.aspx?CategoryID=51)", "comment": "My 7 year old LOVES salt. Today he made a cheese sandwich and put so much salt (and mustard) on it, I could barely eat it. I know about salt and high blood pressure, etc and I am not worried about that. I know the kidneys are excellent at getting rid of excess salt. What I am worried about is some kind of electrolyte imbalance if he accidentally over consumes a large amount of salt in a short period of time. \n\nSo, should I back of off him and let him eat the way he wants? Or is this something to worry about?", "post_id": "4xt3f7"}, {"question": "Yes. If something is problematic for you, it is definitely something to bring up", "comment": "I really don't know how to start these posts...\n\nAnyway, I have depression, anxiety and perfectionism, that I already know. But that's not why I'm here, but I guess I've noticed that I've always had these irrational fears of being murdered. \n\nI'll elaborate: it happens more when I'm home alone, though it does happen at night even if I'm not home alone. When I'm alone it can happen in the day time, and it really sets me on edge. I've cried at times, and i cant remember how many times ive had to hold a heavy object to walk through a door. Every noise I here is someone walking about in my house, or such and such. I close every door behind me, because if there was someone in my house then I'd hear them if they had to open doors. But then when I have to open them again to go out, god I get so scared, what if someone's behind it waiting? So it takes me a while to build courage to go. \n\nAnd I've always hated it when people purposefully make me jump, I'd usually end up crying, heavy breathing and my heart would be so fast. But I guess that's an average reaction if you don't like scares.\n\nThere's a lot of other stuff too, like when the phone rings and such, I've written enough\n\nI was just wondering if it was something I should mention to my psychiatrist tomorrow even though i go there for my depression? ", "post_id": "18tm5a"}, {"question": "To start by answering your end question, yes.  This phase will end.  \n\nAs part of normal development, most people go through some form of a \"rebellious phase\".  Usually this happens in the teens.  It really looks different for everyone but at the core for most is an attempt to assert your personal freedom and rights as an individual.  So long as the person doesn't do anything too dangerous that causes long-term effects, most people come out of it feeling more confident, more secure, and better able to set healthy boundaries with those around them.  \n\nThere are many reasons that some folks don't go through this phase while at home during their teenage years whether it be a history of abuse, high anxiety, personality, etc. \n\nIt can be a little more difficult to go through as an adult because you already have some bad habits a little more ingrained since you've been practicing them longer.  I'm glad to hear you're in therapy because it can be extremely helpful with changing your normal patterns.  \n\nRight now, it sounds like you're rebelling, and as a reactionary measure, going so far to the other end of the spectrum of how you used to act and express anger.  Over time (and with some help from your therapist) you'll be able to find that comfortable middle ground of feeling comfortable expressing your anger/wants/needs without the need to be a people pleaser, but doing so in a healthy and mature way that is not misdirected at those who don't deserve it.  \n\nBest of luck!  Keep putting the good work in in therapy.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)  ", "comment": "Hello everyone,\n\nWithout going in to too much detail, I had a very passive manner of communicating all my life. Due to turmoil at home, I had to keep my feelings to myself and be a people-pleaser outside home. As I have grown over the years, I have repressed a lot of anger against family, some friends who have upset me, and especially my significant other. I feel my significant other has gotten the brunt of everything, because I cannot handle the slightest rejections or arguments from him. I know it is not okay to expect nothing of others but everything from my spouse. As I process my anger in therapy and think more about everything from the past, I feel like I am not able to control. I keep thinking of things people and done, and for once in my life, I am communicating to old friends, my parents and even other people how their actions make me feel. They feel like I have lost it all of a sudden, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep things to myself. For example: I used to be so passive that I would rather take the wrong turn in traffic to avoid having someone honk at me. Now, I do not take a wrong turn, and I wait it out,  let them honk, but try and wait till the next car would let me pass, and avoid trying 3-4 extra miles. \n\nSo sorry for the rant. Just wondering if anyone has gone through a phase like this and does it ever end? ", "post_id": "8b8057"}, {"question": "It\u2019s not clear why it works that way for PMDD but not MDD, but brief SSRI courses timed with menstrual cycles seems to work for PMDD and that\u2019s the standard treatment.\n\nThe risk of serotonin syndrome from Flexeril and a very low dose of Prozac is negligible.", "comment": "Age:26 \nSex: F\nH: 5\u20194\nW: 140\nMedications: Flexeril 10mg and Ibuprofen 800mg ad needed. Now possibly Prozac 10mg\nHistory of issue: I\u2019ve had serious depression at different levels of intensity since I was 10 years old. My mom\u2019s side has a history of severe depression and other personality disorders. When I was younger and under the care of my family I would take whatever medication they forced on me. I don\u2019t remember it helping much. As soon as I emancipated at 16 I stopped taking the medication I started self medicating with drugs and alcohol intermittently (mostly just pot, but I\u2019ve dabbled in hallucinogens for relief). Fast forward to now. I\u2019ve always realized that my depression cycle correlates with my menstrual cycle. My OBGYN has given me 10mg Prozac to take just for a few days before I have my period. \n\nHas anybody heard of whether this is effective or not? My research hasn\u2019t pulled up much, but I have read a lot about Prozac and it seems that it takes awhile for people to start feeling relief so wouldthis actually be a good option for me?\n\nAlso, I take Flexeril and the drug interaction causes serotonin syndrome, which I\u2019m scared of. I don\u2019t take the Flexeril everyday but it allows me to sleep through some neck pain. \n\nEdit: Today is the first day I would take it but I\u2019m hesitating. ", "post_id": "90x6vx"}, {"question": "you didn't do anything. she's immature and doesn't know what she wants. try to move on. the roller coaster isn't worth it.", "comment": "I met this girl online about a year ago and we have been chatting ever since. We were never really a couple but we really liked each other and acted like a couple( sweet and also sexual stuff). So some months ago i found out she was doing kind of the same thing but with other guy. I was really upset and tried not talking to her but i didnt last long that way so she apologized, said she loved me and everything went back to normal. So a week ago she went to visit this other guy that also lived away from her. I didnt like it cause i was worried that she would start liking him better because of this. Anyway she went and she started talking to me less and in other languaje (she clearly didnt want the other guy to know about me). Then today, all of a sudden she texted me saying that she only loves and needs him , and told me not to talk to him anymore. Later i found out that he stormed out from here and didnt come back( probably he found out sth about me). She already erased my contact and she wont answer my messages, and i really miss her and wanna talk to her. I dont know what to do now. I know i should try todo ley her go, but i really cant . I keep thinking about her and i seriously cant get her out of my mind. What i want most Is to get things the way they were before she met the other guy, but i dont know how now. I was always the Nice guy, never did any harm to her and only told her kind things. Why is she doing this to me? Where did i go wrong? And how can i get her back ? Or at least some way to move on. I really hope you could understand me even if my English is not so good. Thank you in advance.", "post_id": "5m4hc3"}, {"question": "It does happen, but I would definitely prefer seeing a specialist over a non-specialist.  Asperger's experts generally agree: a specialist is better.  The best thing you could do might be to explore your concerns with your psychiatrist.  I did that, and she actually let me redo parts of my assessment at no charge.\n\nFriendly Reminder:\nIn 21 days, a new Diagnositic and Statistical Manual will be released and Asperger's disorder will no longer be a widely accepted diagnosis in many areas of the world.  Instead, there will be Autism spectrum disorder with different levels of severity.\n\nIt is up to you of course, but you may want to wait to pursue a formal diagnosis until the book is released and you can find a mental health professional that will diagnose you with it.", "comment": "I just wondered if I may have to a certain degree already jeopardized a potential assessment due to confirmation bias, as I've rather thoroughly informed myself about aspergers.\n\nAlso, would choosing a therapist who's specialized in autism have a similar effect; would someone who's an expert in personality disorders rather assume that I may be schizoid, for instance? Simply because they're looking for something specific?\n\nI'm not too worried about any diagnosis, nothing wrong with having a problem, I just want clarity, rather than an educated guess.", "post_id": "1djnwc"}, {"question": "I'm sorry you're experiencing those types of thoughts, I imagine they are super distressing.  Have you ever had intrusive thoughts like this about anything else or have you ever felt overwhelmed with worry like you do now?  Do you feel like you should be doing something to help her...if so, what?  \n\nI realize this is probably hard to do, but try and lay on your back if you're in bed (with your hands by your side) and close your eyes.  Listen to yourself breathing, and count up every time you exhale by 1.  If you lose count, start over.  If deep breaths work for you, try those.  While you're doing this, allow yourself to feel your body on your bed, the blankets on you, your clothes, etc.  Sometimes, when you're really tense, you might be tensing up your body.  If you notice yourself doing that, try to let go.\n\nDon't worry about responding to the questions unless the breathing doesn't really work for ya.  I hope you feel better! ", "comment": "My Mom has a bad cold and we are all in bed for the night, she\u2019s asleep with my Dad and I can\u2019t stop worrying that she\u2019s going to die.\n\nSpecifically I can\u2019t stop imagining the sound my Dad would make if he woke up beside her body. I\u2019m just curled up in my bed sobbing and I can\u2019t get it out of my head. Please help. Does anyone have any experience with anything like this? I was totally fine 20 minutes ago and now I am a total wreck. ", "post_id": "a9ttli"}, {"question": "if you're honest about your intentions-- as in don't want a rel.--  you are free to do anything. the other person either lives with it or not.  [one person hits ball--ball in other's court]", "comment": "I met this girl a while ago. She says she's not ready to date yet because she's coming out of a long relationship. We hang out a lot and have a lot of fun. Nothing physical. She says if she were ready to date she would defnitely date me.\n\nI found out she's been hanging out with another guy a lot (that she met before me). When I asked her about him, she said that there could be something between them (potentially) but that it doesn't matter because she doesn't want to date anybody right now.\n\nTo me it does matter because it looks like she's playing two guys at the same time while she's waiting to be ready to seriously date. I think it's not fair to me or to him. \n\nAm I wrong here? Just because she's not commited, she can just start building emotional bonds with as many guys as she wants? How should I handle it?\n\nI actually like her a lot. I can see long term things happening with her.", "post_id": "5su76k"}, {"question": "Awesome! Glad you shared your experience. I hope they got you set up with some follow up services so you can continue your work without the restrictions of an inpatient stay.", "comment": "I've posted on this subreddit for awhile about my deteriorating mental health, and I finally checked myself into a looney bin six days ago.  I thought I'd be there longer but it was almost a week so I guess that's long enough.  It wasn't the most fun experience but it wasn't terrible either.  I feel like I got a lot of help and I'm surprised that I feel better coming out of it than going in.\n\nThings I disliked:\n\nThe strip search.  I tried to get out of it but the doctor and orderly performing it told me to \"just get it over with\".  Had to get totally naked for a minute, thankfully there was no shit like cavity searches.  It was uncomfortable for everyone I can tell from their faces and thankfully was over with in no time.  \n\nThe closed and sterile setting creeped me out.  Everything was so clean and so safe, its not what Im used to.  I know it's a hospital but it's still weird.\n\nBed times, as an adult I actually had a bed time.  Most of the time I didn't sleep and I didn't sleep much at all during the six days I was there, and would fall asleep during group therapy and even individual therapy lol.  I tried to leave my room at night and just walk around but was (politely) told by orderly I cant do that and they gave me more magazines and books to read than Ive read in years.  When you dont have a phone, things get really boring fast.\n\nNo cursing.  I was told this in the common area that I curse too much and to not use f bombs and to stop cursing like a sailor.  When I first refused, they threatened to take me back to my room.  And we were all adults.\n\nThe showers were communal.  Had to shower with three other guys, blegh it was not fun.\n\nI had to make a pledge to not self harm and not attempt escape (I voluntarily went in but still needed a discharge to leave) and told me if I got violent and assaulted anyone, they would press charges.  I felt like I was in prison when they told me that.\n\nThey made me eat enough to stop losing weight, and the food was not very good.  They thought I might be developing an eating disorder.  Having to scarf down hospital food is not the most pleasant of experiences but at least they gave you a choice what to eat.  Ate a lot of seafood.\n\n\nThings I liked:\n\nI liked actually being able to talk to psychologists and psychiatrists all the time.  I thought they would be condescending and rude, but they were understanding and nice and they really wanted to help me.  I basically spilled my guts and told them everything, and they told me ways to deal with self-harm and tried meds on me that I'm now taking and are actually working, it frankly surprises me.\n\nThe orderly were actually very nice.  I asked the orderly who escorted me to my room what do I do to not be on their bad side, they said just don't get in trouble and we won't mess with you.  Surprisingly I had no bad experiences with them minus them telling me to stop cursing and one time disconnecting my phone because I wouldn't get off of it.  That was also an annoying aspect, I'd call my girlfriend or brother and they'd get mad if it was over 20 minutes.  Was very annoying not having my own phone.\n\nThe visiting hours were generous, my girlfriend visited me every day and it'd be for around an hour.  Helped me through the isolation.  I assumed it'd just be once a week and just be between glass like in a jail.  \n\nI drew a lot.  A lot of group therapy was fun and stimulating, I thought it'd just be fruity nonsense I wouldn't be able to use.  But I drew a lot to express myself.  I guess kind of childish but I liked doing it.\n\nThe patients were nice, I was in a part with suicidal and self harm patients and they weren't mean or violent and my roommate was pretty nice, he was just 19 and he was going through a lot of rough stuff, we would talk sometimes after bed time for a few hours and we became pretty friendly.\n\nI feel like the medication and the cognitive behavorial therapy has really helped me.  Only time will tell, but I think this was the right choice to make.\n\nThey told me not to hesitate calling back and checking myself in again if I need to, Im surprised they didn't want me out as soon as possible.\n\nOverall, I'm glad I did it, but it still felt like I was in a cushier jail.  But I think it saved my life, for now anyway.\n\nThey set me up with a new therapist and psychiatrist and hopefully things work well with them.  So hey, I'm not dead, not yet anyway!  All I could ask for.", "post_id": "ep90f2"}, {"question": "The woman who accepts this role is doing it because she is fine with what's going on- you are paying her to date you.  You are wasting women's time and shutting them out of the working world unless they sleep with you.  So the female equivalent will be the woman who is sexing you in order to get as much money as she can.  I know you haven't considered this, but your plan is extremely transparent and something every woman has at least heard of, if not experienced directly.   So the only reason she WOULDNT get angry and walk away is if she is smarter than you and plans to take you for everything.", "comment": "Is this a stupid idea, I have had no GF and have had an idea.  \n\n\nI create a job post, it is a real job, working with me at my small business (I do it for fun and extra money, only one day every weekend). I put in an optional section asking about interests/personal (e.g. favorite movie, best ice cream flavor, relationship status). I only interview single girls 20 to 25, and ask them out at the end of the interview, if they say no they don't get the job (don't tell them this), if they say yes then see how the date goes, the one who the dates go best with get the job.  \n\n\nAm I being a horrible person here? It sounds stupid but it might work. ", "post_id": "ba2rny"}, {"question": "wanting different things in life is huge", "comment": "We met in grad school and have been dating 2 years now. We're from completely different backgrounds... She is from a very religious family and rural community, and is very religious herself whereas I am from a more secular, urban background. She wants to live in the area where she grew up (rural), and I need more of a city vibe. Marriage and kids are high on her life goals (I feel as though she treats this like a life \"finish-line\" or metric of adulthood) and I don't feel strongly about either. We've talked about all this together in some pretty blunt, difficult conversations because I wanted to know we were on the same page. \n\nOn the other hand, being with her is so easy. She is one of those people that is happy and bright by default (whereas I tends toward melancholy if I'm not vigilant), and our relationship has been so uncomplicated. She is beautiful and we've made some really great memories. \n\nBut here's an illustration of a difference between us: We are sexually active, and neither of us were each other's firsts; but because of her religious views, she feels guilty. She says she doesn't feel guilty about *us* but she does feel guilty about her previous partners because she feels \"that it's disrespectful to her future husband.\" To clarify, she's not saying disrespectful to me, but whomever that may be. And also to clarify, she says that she doesn't feel badly about us because we have had a \"significant relationship\" and even if it ends, it wasn't a bad thing. Now I've taken issue with this idea of there being someone you're *meant* to be with and with the idea that sex makes someone inherently less valuable (which is my interpretation of the disrespect thing); but in the end we both let it go and agree to disagree. \n\nBut I fear that there is a lot of this silent agreeing to disagree thing going on under the surface and that this stuff would matter if things got more serious (and especially if she  got preggo!). \n\nWe've not said \"I love you\" to each other on purpose. I've said it before to someone and that didn't turn out well (the relationship, not the words). But I feel the same toward her  and I did then, and I am positive that if I said it, it would bring down walls for her and she would too. \n\nSo reddit, what do I do? Am I kidding myself? Am I throwing away something good with someone I have real potential to be happy with? Is anyone even reading this?\n\n**TL;DR** Boy meets pretty girl. Boy is happy. Girl is happy. Does anything else really matter?", "post_id": "72jy8w"}, {"question": "people talk too much about their history. if someone's not a virgin, does it really matter how many? the only thing that matters is what kind of relationship you agree upon.", "comment": "Hey guys, I'm just looking for some help. Almost like a Change My View post. \n\nSo I have been dating this girl for about 4 months now and been 'seeing' her for about 5 months. I lost my virginity to her but I know that she has had a history. She is an incredible girl and I really like her and she seems to really like me but just awhile ago I figured out about how many people she has been with. 22 is the number. I was 21. \n\nThe problem is that I don't know how comfortable I am with how many people she has seen. Also that a lot of the people she has had sex with, she still keeps as friends and talks to regularly. She is loyal and I know she would never cheat on me but I don't know how I feel about how she has had sex with one of her best guy friends and still snaps and texts him daily. \n\nI absolutely love this girl and she loves me. I want to be with this girl for awhile. We have talked about it and have a good reputation of communication about anything we feel uncomfortable with. She doesn't like her past and tells me most of them have been one night stands she barely remembers(alcohol). I try to be very accepting of it and help her with her toxic feelings but I don't know if I actually mean some of the stuff I say.\n\nSo since I have no one else I can really talk to this about, I need your help with accepting this \n fact about my girlfriend. Shoot me with any questions you might have. \n\ntl;dr: My girlfriend has had quite a sexual history and I need help accepting it as I feel quite uncomfortable about it.", "post_id": "6e8y3l"}, {"question": "he is immature", "comment": "Hi all in need of some advise  and too strange too talk to friends.I am just over 7 months pregnant with twins (and feel like a whale). DH and i have sex about 3-4 times a week as we are still newish weds 2 years nearly.\n\nWe planned the pregnancy and is is really supportive of the babues and me and will be a good dad but this issue over sex is overshadowing the good points. Especially since i am getting too large now and i am stuggling to move around alot (big babies same size as single pregnancy babies).He complains that we do not have sex everyday anymore  (we did pre pregnancy) and thinks i have changed at its all about the babies now.\n\nI still think we have a good time when we do have sex but other times i just can't.I get he has got a high sex drive and do try to please him in otherways but if i can't i get that he might have to take him self 'in hand' so to speak byt he refuses to masterbate him self and has stated it is my roles to fill his need.\n\nAm i crazy thinking he is out of line...?", "post_id": "5wsbds"}, {"question": "Definitely yes.", "comment": "So I drink a lot. Been drinking nearly every day since I was 17. I\u2019m 25 now. The thing is, I\u2019m motivated by such a strong fear of failure that I\u2019ll probably never reach a bottom point where I\u2019m forced to confront my drinking. I\u2019m fairly successful for someone my age and have healthy habits apart from my drinking.\n\nThe only thing that concerns me is a fear that it\u2019ll result in some psychological damage over time. I wonder if anyone could inform on this. Is it gonna make me some sorta buffoon down the road? Any answers would be appreciated. Thanks\n\nFor context, I probably drink the equivalent of four bottles of beer a day. Usually I get started after I get off work.", "post_id": "bknet4"}, {"question": "I wouldn't marry anyone who was abusive", "comment": "I'll try to keep this short. I (M/29) proposed to to my girlfriend (F/28) after 8 months of dating. She has a child from a previous marriage. It's been extremely rocky since early-summer and we're due to be married in November. She has gotten physically abusive with me three times over arguments; I would never even think of doing the same to her. In order for her to listen to my opinion on anything I have to basically pack a bag, grab my stuff and threaten to leave. Every time I do though she gets aggressive and throws the fact that her child will be heartbroken in my face. We're living together.\n\nThe relationship is very one-sided. She does whatever she wants, when she wants; I feel like I'm just along for the ride.\n\nNot bragging but I'm very successful for my age so I don't feel like I'm at the end of my rope, so to speak.\n\nI know deep down none of this is right but she wants to work on it. Is there any hope here or should I throw in the towel.", "post_id": "7063nz"}, {"question": "This is a very important question and I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a universal answer. But since it\u2019s feeling timely... I just went to the psychiatrist today for the first time in 10 years because the answer to your question (when I asked myself) was, \u201cit\u2019s time.\u201d I\u2019ve sought out holistic approaches running the gamut: psychotherapy, exercise, diet and acupuncture. I\u2019ve cut out drinking, sought support from friends, limited contact with toxic family members and meditated. The list goes on and on. Finally, I got hit with some much-needed objectivity as I observed myself spending the weekend in bed popping over-the-counter sleeping pills to \u201ctake the edge off\u201d and a few days later, had a scary panic attack while driving. \n\nI don\u2019t know how to guide you in assessing your current symptoms but if possible, adopt a non-judging curiosity about yourself and try and observe, as clearly as possible, the basic health of your functioning. How\u2019s your self-talk? Is it angry, self-punishing or perseverating? How\u2019s your sense of belonging? Do you feel isolated, lonely or excluded? How\u2019s your inner-world? Is it dull and bleak or accosting and intense? Look under the rock and name the creepy-crawlies wiggling around.\n\nLong story short: get curious. See what\u2019s within your normal emotional spectrum and what\u2019s beyond. If what\u2019s beyond overwhelms you and feels impossible to address otherwise, it\u2019s worth consulting with a psychiatrist. Good luck to you. ", "comment": "I\u2019ve been debating the idea of visiting a psychiatrist to be prescribed anti-anxiety medication. However, some days I\u2019ll feel like my symptoms warrant the decision and other days I\u2019ll think, \u201cI\u2019m in a good place, why would I need medication?\u201d.  How do you know when to say yes to medication? ", "post_id": "8i95gq"}, {"question": "Always ask!", "comment": "First of all I must say that I overthink everything and I just need a little clarification from people outside the situation. So I'm a 17 y/o girl in Texas and I started talking to a 19 y/o guy over Instagram over a month ago. We live in the same city and really hit it off. I'd also like to mention that he has not come off as aggressive or has given off any red flags. He seems to be a perfectly normal and genuine person. \n\nSo last Saturday I met him in person for the first time. I followed all of the right safety precautions etc. Anyways it was a bit awkward at first, but we eventually found our rhythm and just walked around and talked for two hours. We have a lot of similar interests and hobbies. He hugged me when we met and left, he paid for my meal, offered his jacket to me multiple times (because it was a little cool outside), and while we were sitting on a bench talking he brushed my hair out of my face. He also offered me his hand when I was getting off the bench but I didn't realize what he was doing so I didn't reciprocate and I also never accepted his jacket. He didn't seem overly flirtatious in my opinion and we've been texting back and forth every day since. Despite this, the conversations we have aren't flirty or very forward. I'm conflicted because I really like him but I don't want to come off too strong. \n\nAlso I feel a bit weird about the age difference but I also don't? I'm still in high school and he's in college. I'm afraid to just ask how he feels because I think I might just be impatient. I just don't know how he feels about me or what I should do...\n\nAny advice is appreciated! Thank you! Have a great day!\n", "post_id": "67jxna"}, {"question": "she needs a doctor and a therapist.", "comment": "Let me start of by saying I've never had another girlfriend.  I lack experience, and thus lack perspective.  Thus I really appreciate your perspective if you are able to sit through the lengthy description that follows.  \n\nMy girlfriend is a daughter of Iranian immigrants and suffers from OCD.  I am a white American with ADD.  We connect on the 'important' issues, but the trivial daily relationship friction that results from our cultural and mental disorder differences is really bad.  There are of course many areas where our relationship is unique and amazing, which is why I have stayed a part of this relationship for so long.  But, still, her frustrations with me have pushed our 5-year relationship to verge of failure. \n\nHer family life was strict and lifeless.  She grew up in the suburbs.  Her mom hates her Dad because she has always earned more than him.  This anger from her mother was a constant cloud above her childhood.  As a kid, her parents never encouraged her to take on any hobbies or sports.  Her whole childhood was literally: school, home, TV, homework, bed, repeat.  Her upbringing produced a host of destructive mental disorders:\n\n1) **Vaginismus** \u2013 she is literally incapable of penetrative sex.  Her mom taught her sex was bad.  She has never used a tampon, never had a gynological exam, and we have never had penetrative sex.  When I raise the issue with her, she shuts down. \n\n2) **Asexuality** \u2013 I don\u2019t get the impression that she is bothered by the fact that she can\u2019t have sex, aside from the fact that it makes her not normal.  She has never watched porn in her life, she does not masturbate, and she never initiates physical contact with me.  On the rare occasion that she gives in to me physical initiations, she likes to grind, reach a surface orgasm, and then rolls on her side.  If I ask for a handjob after, she will roll her eyes and give me what amounts to an unenjoyed (on either part), unenthusiastic handjob.  She is also grossed about by semen and prefers to cover my penis with a napkin. \n\n3)\t**Germophobia** --  anytime we are out, she asks me not to touch things like counter tops, walls, railings, and so on.  Upon returning home, shoes must always be taken off, clothes must be changed into \u2018house clothes\u2019, and hands must be washed.  Not doing any of these things results in extreme anger on her part. \n\n4)\t**Controlling** \u2013 she wants everything done in a particular way.  The cabinets should not make a noise when they are closed.  Everything in the refrigerator has an exact location. Meals must be cooked using the fewest number utensils possible, fewest number ingredients possible, and without any spills.  \n\n5) **Indecisiveness** \u2013  She will spends weeks deliberating \u2018big purchases\u2019.  All new clothes go into the closet for 1 \u2013 3 months before being worn or ultimately returned (2/3 clothing items get returned).  All receipts must be saved and verified with her checking account.  She is obsessed with yelp.  All restaurants must be vetted on yelp.  Picking a new restaurant to eat at will literally take a minimum of an hour and routinely 2 hours.  She must read all the reviews, view the menu, look at photos of the food, and already have her meal selected before we can leave.  As a result, there are only 5 restaurants she will eat at (when SHE is going of her own choosing and not for work for example).  She must pick the meal (it\u2019s always the same meal at each restaurant) and we must split it.  Asking to consider a different restaurant or meal on the menu or simply getting different meals, even when I\u2019m paying is met with extreme anger. \n\n6)\tHer life is about **efficiency** rather than pleasure.  For example, last weekend I proposed the idea of cooking a meal together.  She rejected all of my meal ideas as being too complicated, even though I was willing to make the meal on my own.  All I wanted to do was handmake pasta on the countertop, make some pasta sauce, and make an apple/walnut/lemon-dressing salad.  However, the thought of flour being on the countertop was too messy.    \n\nMy family is well educated and successful like hers, but we are fundamentally laid back\u2014even compared to other western white families.  We don\u2019t lock the front door, the house is cluttered, my mom is late everywhere she goes, and so on.  Although I suffer from ADD, I am actually acutely aware of it and thus go through great lengths to combat it.  However, I still struggle on a daily basis.  Consequences of my ADD include: leaving the keys in the front door, leaving drinks out, forgetting to turn lights off, leaving the AC / heater running, and failure to form new habits quickly.   As you can imagine, my upbringing resulted in my \u2018natural order of operation\u2019 being completely at odds with hers.  Despite this, I am open-minded and am willing to change the way I do everything, because I fundamentally see the logic of her peculiarities (aside from our sexual differences).  However, my ADD oversights bother her to no end.  Things have gotten so bad that she literally wants to break up.  \n\nOver Christmas, she and her sister got into a fight.  Her sister revealed that their family had gone out to dinner the day after we returned to our town.  They agreed that she treats me terribly, I am too nice to her, and that if we were ever to break up that she would never find anybody who would tolerate her.  These are fucked up things to say, but the thing is, I literally agree.  I can\u2019t imagine that anybody would be able to tolerate.  Moreover, the thought that she now wants to break up with ME seems literally insane given all of her issues.  \n\n", "post_id": "5tk8qk"}, {"question": "Once you\u2019ve ruled out a non-emergent issue look into Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).", "comment": "Female (36). I woke in the middle of the night with my arm above my head and could feel nothing from it. I have had this before and used my other arm to pull it down and rub it until the feeling came back. Usually it passes with a bit of uncomfortableness within a few moments but this time I had tremendous pain which led to my whole upper right side of my body having a tingly numbness.\n\nMy arm, shoulder, tongue, face and brain(if this makes sense) went numb.\n\nSo I tried to get up and sat at the side of the bed. I felt extremely lightheaded and nauseous and I lay back down. Then I realized that I couldn\u2019t do simple sums in my head, speak properly or write well. \n\nI felt so tired I fell asleep and all day today I\u2019ve had a numb tingling face on my right hand side and a weakness on that side, especially in my arm. I thought it would pass but it hasn\u2019t.\n\nAny ideas of what it could be? I have PCOS and a history of breast cancer in my family but no other problems. \n\nAdditional note- at new year I felt like I was having a mild heart attack and an ecg showed nothing but my other tests showed mild muscle damage. Is this related?  I have also have difficulty swallowing and constantly find problems swallowing food, especially after periods of stress.", "post_id": "f2w3sk"}, {"question": "The fact that you\u2019re worried about how others will perceive your ideas is a good indication that you are thoughtful and conscientious. The internet is filled with people who hide behind their usernames projecting their insecurities onto everyone else without even having an opinion or logical idea to share. I would say the world needs more people like you to share your thoughts for discussion. To avoid sharing an idea out of fear that others may not agree or take offense is, in my opinion, an idea worth sharing.", "comment": "I don\u2019t like sharing my thoughts, mostly because I think it won\u2019t matter and it always brings some type of negativity. (Not because my thoughts are bad, just because people have opinions and someone always thinks something is wrong)", "post_id": "drwytw"}, {"question": "What do you mean by mild hallucinations? As far as I know, hallucinations are not part of bpd. ", "comment": "Heya I\u2019ve e been a lurker on this sub and i have a question. Sorry if it\u2019s long though. \n\nSo, I was diagnosed with bpd in 2010 after  a month or so of delusional thought, rage, just basically a psychotic mess. I was prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotic medications which I took very badly (overdosing, not taking them, selling them at raves, etc). After that i never went back on medication and have been self medicating with weed. \n\nEvery day is a battle with my own mind but i sometimes i wonder if my delusions and hallucinations are a part of it. Has anyone else had something similar happen? Is it just bpd? \n\nI know when i am very stressed i go mental, but most other days i have mild hallucinations with mood swings. \n\nIf anyone knows something about this please let me know! Much appreciated guys, thanks :)\n\nXx", "post_id": "9qfd18"}, {"question": "exactly. he needs to come clean with you about what he wants from life", "comment": "A few months after we (21f 23m) got married I found texts from other girls in his phone, some even from before the actual wedding date. I confronted him about it and he promised that he'd stop and I believed him but again, I saw texts coming in from other girls just a few days ago. I don't know what to do or what to say this time. If he wanted to act as though he was single why didn't he just say that he didn't want to get married?", "post_id": "5tkq9i"}, {"question": "I'm a clinical psych doctoral student. Ethically, I can't diagnose or provide treatment, but I will say that you really should speak to a clinical psychologist. This is not at all uncommon.", "comment": "I have been in patrol for a number of years and am currently a detective.  The reason I am posting is because recently I had to investigate a suicide where a shotgun was used.  I have been on many suicide calls before, but this was the first for a shotgun.  I have been on homicides and other disturbing calls.  In addition I have also been involved in a \"suicide by cop\" scenario that lasted for hours, and where mutliple times I sincerely thought the person we were trying to help was going to put a rifle round through me.  I did not end up being the one who shot, but saw it all happen.\n\nIt seems when I experience these  kinds of calls it opens a large wound.  Some things concern/scare me.  For instance, there was once where I was with my wife and children on an outing and everything in my body started acting like an active shooter was about to engage.  I couldn't control my breathing, heart rate, etc.  I have had dreams, though not consistent, of being shot and in fights for my life.  I have bouts where the images and memories intrude and I can't stop them, which is what happened today and has caused me to question my mental health a little.  In my teen years I also contemplated suicide often, though this has not been an active thought for over a decade now.  Each time I experience a particularly difficult call I get a little more worried.\n\nI know it's not normal to spend hours around someone that just committed suicide in such a horrible way or experience what I deal with in my job on a regular basis.  I know it's not \"normal\" for someone to have to take in and analyze every detail of a scene like that. I know I shouldn't be \"OK\" after these incidents, but I don't know if I'm in trouble and need professional help or if this is part of the process.", "post_id": "f7o0m6"}, {"question": "Every country has issues of payment. It\u2019s not the Byzantine mess of out of pocket costs and insurance that the US has, but someone has to pay, and that means knowing what, if anything, needs to be done to access universal coverage. And making sure that a specific doctor is in that system and not private pay, which can also happen.\n\nIt may be nothing at all, but that\u2019s something to figure out first.", "comment": "UPDATE: Thank you so much for all your help, guys. So many good points were brought up and your advice helped a lot. I was up all night mulling things over, and in the morning I decided to tell my sister everything, before the kids woke up. She was glad I spoke up. This morning she drove the girls to school, but let her son stay home. When she got back from school dropoffs she took him out for the day. They went for a drive to the park, got lunch, and talked. When they got home, my nephew had a nap on the couch. I didn't ask what was said, but my sister said things were smoothed out a bit, communication-wise, and she is monitoring his mood. He will try the school counsellor again, and from there we will see what needs to be done treatment-wise for his health. She also said that she explained to her son my choice to betray his trust, and he understands. Still, I will talk to my nephew, explain my choice to tell his parents, and apologise in person for spilling his secret. Just to make sure we are ok. Again, thank you everyone for your advice.\n\n15M, 6+foot, ??kg, Caucasian, no current medication (afaik), no drugs or drinking. In New Zealand.\n\nSo tonight my nephew (15m) told me (25f) that he is struggling with what sounds like severe depression.\n\nLong story short, he is struggling with the usual symptoms: low self esteem, constant suicidal thoughts, previous self-harm (once), anxiety, inability to focus on schoolwork, inability to fall asleep, inability to get a decent sleep, and on top of all that, frightening memory gaps. He comes home from school and literally has no answer to the question: *\"How was school?\"* He doesn't know. He doesn't remember.\n\nMy nephew is terrified of speaking to his parents about this. **NOTE:** they are incredible, supportive parents, but he hates to talk about this stuff and he is terrified of starting that conversation with them, because he is worried he will be forced out of his 'bottle it up' mentality. I have encouraged him to speak with his parents, but he adamantly refused. He specifically asked me not to tell his parents because he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it with them.\n\nI don't want to betray my nephew's trust, but I know he needs better care and support than I can provide. I am living with the family at the moment, so I can offer at-home support. However, I think he needs to see a professional. These memory gaps are causing him to struggle in school, it's affecting his friendships, and it's affecting his home life. It's affecting his happiness. He is passively suicidal, but that could change at the drop of a hat. I want to know what I can organise for him without his mum and dad finding out and spilling the beans.. Is he able to get therapy? Does he need parental consent to try medications?\n\nI know this isn't the typical 'AskDocs' question, and I apologise. But I would really appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you in advance.", "post_id": "irzugz"}, {"question": "You overreacted, and your girlfriend exhausted her supply of guilt and began to feel attacked. \n\nNext time, if she fucks up and you'd like to stay in relationship with her, say \"that really sucks\" and drop it till you can communicate without whining about it. ", "comment": "This is infuriating me. My girlfriend of 1 year seems to be under the impression that I broke up with her when I only asked that I needed some time to myself since I was mad at her. Today I messaged her and dropped off her favourite drink and she said \"its over\" because I said it was over yesterday over text (which I did not). I told her several times that I did not say this and to pinpoint exactly in our texts when I said this and she said she said I did it indirectly. I apologized to her if she interpretted things wrong but I did not mean that at all. She insists that it was me that broke things off and says that now I want her back and that I have a sudden change of heart.\n\nIn any case, I've attached a screenshot of the whole convo. It would give me so much peace of mind if someone can critique this objectively and verify if what my GF says is true. I am at my wits and so dumbfounded at how we're both interpretting this differently. My only conclusions are:\n\n- she genuinely misinterpretted things due to her emotions getting in the way\n- she won't admit she screwed up\n- she's looking for an excuse to break up\n\nSome context to the conversation: We were supposed to meet up before she went to dinner with her parents. Up until the very last minute, she flaked out on me. This is literally upto the last minute as the earliest time she could've met up with me is 5:30 and she was supposed to have dinner at 6 (which I found out after, I thought thye were meeting at 7). Cooincidentally, I chose to meet up with parents around after meeting her\n\nHere's [part 1](http://i.imgur.com/kFwdonB.jpg), and [part 2](http://i.imgur.com/MfjouqX.jpg) of the conversations\n\nTLDR; Girlfriend thinks I broke up with her based on the convo on the two links above. Please confirm that she misread things or not", "post_id": "6gdg8l"}, {"question": "she has HUGE issues. yes, call the police if she's out of control.", "comment": "We were on and off one year together, she punched me two times and shoved me against the door once..\n\nI am bigger then her and obviously can control my anger and I know better than to hit her back and face jail time..\n\nWe have just broken up and apparently she doesn't feel much real remorse over the violence episodes.\nWe broke up because after the last violent episode, I threatened to call the police and she became a bit paranoid about it, claiming that I want to ruin her life and that I am the cause of her problems..\n\nI gave her three options: Go see a psychologist, I call her mother or I call the police.. \nShe said \"Call the police, I don't care, and if you want, call my mother but I won't do it\".. She did research a bit to get a psychologist, to which she said: \"I will go get your answers but then I want nothing to do with you, you've made my life a living hell for one year\"..\n\nWhen the last violent episode happened, I even told her that our relationship would be put on hold , for her to get herself treated.. Her remorse lasted about 30 min. She did apologise sincerely for it, though. She never meant to harm me, I know she has a hard time releasing her anger.\n\nI also made it clear that I would support her with the psychologist solution, regardless of the relationship.\n\nI find it incredibly hurtful that she can't truly own up to her mistake and makes me wonder whether she is a sociopath or not..She does not blame me for the violence, but she blames the relationship for bringing it out in her\n\nWas I wrong to threaten to call the police?\n\nEDIT: I didn't call the police, I just threatened her because I saw no other option. I do not condone violence, on any gender.", "post_id": "5ojy29"}, {"question": "If you have insurance through your employer, the majority of employers now offer Employee Assistance Programs which usually include 3-10 free therapy sessions.  If your employer offers that, it would be a good start and you could focus on coping skills to use until you're able to afford more comprehensive therapy.  \n\nRAAIN is a great resource, and there are sometime support groups for trauma survivors but in my experience the majority are run by churches.  If you're of faith, that can be a good thing; if you're not, that can be uncomfortable.  \n\nThere are tons of self-help books on trauma, shame, moving-on from the past, etc. that can be comforting, helpful and informative.  Anything by Brene Brown is great for this, I also frequently recommend The Body Keep the Score (I have no relationship to either author, I just find their work to be good and solidly research based).  If you have a local library card, apps like Libby and Hoopla have lots of those types of books available as e-books and audiobooks (since it sounds like money is tight right now, free is a good thing).\n\nAnd if sharing your story with others is helpful, one potential way of getting that experience without a group is through writing letters (you don't need to send them to get the benefit).  You might address the letters to a family member, friend, your significant other, your future/past self, etc.  It sounds really strange, but by writing to someone else it turns your brain into a story telling mode which can help to organize your thoughts and emotions about the situation differently than simply sitting and reflecting upon it yourself.\n\nIf you need to talk to someone urgently, there's a free mental health text line you can reach out to.\n\n[https://www.crisistextline.org/](https://www.crisistextline.org/)\n\nI hope you find some good support in the meantime, and I hope your financial situation changes soon to allow you to seek therapy to more fully work through this.", "comment": "Hi all,\n\n\\*\\*\\*\\*Warning that some of what is said below may trigger anxiety\\*\\*\\*\\*\n\nI am new to the sub, but I am happy to be here reading through some of your experiences. It gives me hope I haven't had in a long time. A little background about me:\n\nI have PTSD due to a past long-term relationship with a man who constantly threatened my physical and emotional safety. Many times he threatened violence, carrying a gun on his hip at all times, and threatening to kill me if I told anyone what was going on. He raped me while he was drunk, and when I tried to run away, grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back downstairs and locked me with him in his room, where I slept curled up on the floor until the next morning, when he claims he remembered nothing that happened. I also suffered incredible verbal abuse, believing for a long time that it was my fault he treated me this way. There is a lot more to the story, but those are the \"highlights\" so to speak.\n\nI am now happily married to a loving individual who has supported me through seasons of night terrors, constant paranoia and panic attacks, and general mistrust of new people. I am very grateful to have my husband, but I know that my symptoms often weigh on us both, and I have been seeking options to help me overcome the worst of those symptoms.\n\nUnfortunately, though I have a good paying job, therapy is still too expensive for me at this time. I was wondering if anyone had other suggestions, or maybe if anyone has found support and success through group therapy similar to AA? I would really appreciate any insights you all have.\n\nKeep fighting the good fight. Thanks for being here.", "post_id": "97jnlr"}, {"question": "Hahaha!!! I wish I had your imagination and creativity....or spare time!!! Hilarious stuff!", "comment": "Ice Cube\u2019s 11th Step: On Awakening\n\n***ON AWAKENING LET US THINK ABOUT THE TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AHEAD. WE CONSIDER OUR PLANS FOR THE DAY.\n\n\u201cJust waking up in the morning gotta thank God.\nI don't know but today seems kinda odd. (SELF ESTEEM, FEAR)\nNo barking from the dogs, no smog,\nAnd momma cooked a breakfast with no hog.\u201d (SECURITY)\n\n***BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE ASK GOD TO DIRECT OUR THINKING, ESPECIALLY ASKING THAT IT BE DIVORCED FROM SELF-PITY, DISHONEST OR SELF-SEEKING MOTIVES.\n\n\u201cThinking will I live another twenty-four?\u201d (AMBITIONS, SECURITY, FEAR)\n\n***IN THINKING ABOUT OUR DAY WE MAY FACE INDECISION. WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO DETERMINE WHICH COURSE TO TAKE.\n\n\u201cI got my grub on, but didn't pig out. (SECURITY)\nFinally got a call from a girl want to dig out. (SEXUAL RELATIONS)\nHooked it up on later as I hit the door...\u201d (SEXUAL RELATIONS)\n\n\u201cI gotta go cause I got me a drop top, (AMBITIONS)\nAnd if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop. (PERSONAL REALATIONS)\nHad to stop at a red light, (SECURITY)\nLooking in my mirror not a jacker in sight.\u201d (FEAR)\n\n***HERE WE ASK GOD FOR INSPIRATION, AN INTUITIVE THOUGHT OR A DECISION. WE RELAX AND TAKE IT EASYT. WE DON\u2019T STRUGGLE. WE ARE OFTEN SURPRISED HOW THE RIGHT ANSWERS COME AFTER WE HAVE TRIED THIS FOR A WHILE. WHAT USED TO BE THE HUNCH OF THE OCCASIONAL INSPIRATION GREADUALLY BECOMES A WORKING PART OF THE MIND.\n\n\u201cAnd everything is alright.\u201d (HAPPY, JOYOUS, FREE)\n\n***BEING STILL INEXPERIENCED AND HAVING JUST MADE A CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH GOD, IT IS NOT PROBABLE THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE INSPIRED AT ALL TIMES. WE MIGHT PAY FOR THIS PRESUMPTION IN ALL SORTS OF ABSURD ACTIONS AND IDEAS.\n\n\u201cI got a beep from Kim and she can f*** all night.\nCalled up the homies and I'm askin' y'all\nWhich park, are y'all playin' basketball?\nGet me on the court and I'm trouble,\nLast week f***** around and got a triple double.\nFreaking brothers every way like M.J.\u201d\n\nIt\u2019s interesting to see the selfishness and self-centerdness that Ice Cube is still operating under. This, \u201c\u2026is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though (the alcoholic) he usually doesn't think so.\u201d (Alcoholics Anonymous p. 62) It\u2019s difficult to take this persevering (perseverance is the spiritual principle of Step 11) action daily and we may fail often, but the take-away is to continue to practice. \u201cYou can do it.\u201d \u2013 Rob Schneider\n\n***NEVERTHELESS, WE FIND THAT OUR THINKING WILL, AS TIME PASSES, BE MORE ON THE PLANE OF INSPIRATION. WE COME TO RELY UPON IT.\n\n\u201cI can't believe, today was a good day.\u201d\n\n***AS WE GO THROUGH THE DAY WE PAUSE, WHEN AGITATED OR DOUBTFUL, AND ASK FOR THE RIGHT THOUGHT OR ACTION. WE CONSTANTLY REMIND OURSELVES WE ARE NO LONGER RUNNING THE SHOW, HUMBLY SAYING TO OURSELVES MAY TIMES WACH DAY \u201cTHY WILL BE DONE.\u201d\n\n\u201cSaw the police and they rolled right past me.\nNo flexin', didn't even look in a n***** direction as I ran the intersection.\u201d\n\n\u201cDidn't even see a berry flashing those high beams.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo helicopter looking for a murder.\u201d\n\n\u201cTwo in the morning got the fat burger.\u201d\n\n\u201cEven saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp\nAnd it read Ice Cube's a pimp!\u201d\n\nNotice this miraculous shift in awareness and connection now. Ice Cube\u2019s Spiritual Awakening, of the educational variety, is now taking form. Notice Ice Cube\u2019s Higher Power at work in the following excerpts from his 11th Step inventory. Reflect now on how when Ice Cube is following the directions his consequences that he paid for in absurd actions and ideas start to dissipate. He is no longer in self-centerdness and his thoughts are on others. Because he is now connected again to his H.P he doesn\u2019t even notice nor is concerned or in fear of the Los Angles Police Department (Institutions). Ice cube is stopping, pausing and asking for direction and he is now aware of beautiful things on this earth that he wasn\u2019t able to recognize before, such as a message on a blimp in the sky which is congratulating his accolades for the day. This message is straight from the Goodyear company. See, even large corporations are aware of his spiritual prowess on this day! He\u2019s even eating healthy, hence no more unmanageability in life! So Amazing. So Powerful!\n\n\u201cWith the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven\nSeven even back do' little Joe.\nI picked up the cash flow,\nThen we played bones, and I'm yellin' domino.\nPlus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.\u201d\n\n\u201cDidn't even get no static from the cowards...\nCause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me.\u201d\n\n\u201cLeft my n***** house paid.\u201d\n\nWhen Ice Cube is in 11th Step action and spiritually connected the 11th Step promises manifest and he is able to roll sevens and elevens in street craps because his Higher Power makes that possible. He is protected and fear has been totally and fully removed regarding the negative unspiritual individuals that tried to terminate his life the day before. Also, no person in the entire city of South Central Los Angles dies when Ice Cube is working his program as his Higher Power\u2019s grace is extending through him and effecting everyone that he knows.\n\n\u201cThe Lakers beat the Supersonics.\u201d\n\nA little historical fact: This day happened in 1992 when the Los Angles Lakers were struggling as an organization. Their record that year was 39-43. They finished 5th in the NBA Pacific Division. However, the Seattle Super Sonics that year finished 55-27, and reached the playoffs as the #3 seed in the Western Conference. Hence, proving that they were a more dominant team. But that day, when Ice Cube was extending spiritual principles and fitting himself to be of maximum service to all things, his Higher Power allowed, his home team, the obviously inferior Lakers to win that day. The promises do come true!\n\n\"Picked up a girl been tryin' to f*** since the twelfth grade.\nShe didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun.\u201d\n\nIt\u2019s powerful to note that a woman that had no interest in Ice Cube since they were in high school is now is comparing him to Tom Crusie\u2019s hero character, Maverick, in the movie Top Gun, a 1986 production that won a plethora of awards. Women fall all over Tom Cruise, because he is spiritual. Again\u2026 the A.A. promises! Ice Cube has now reached Spiritual Gangsta status because he let go and let God!\n\n\u201cI was glad everything had worked out...\nToday was like one of those fly dreams.\u201d\n\nIce Cube admits that he feels like he is living in a dream world. It is important to reference page 25 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, \u201cWe have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we have not even dreamed.\u201d Would Ice Cube be feeling this way if he wasn\u2019t in spiritual action? The answer is no, no he would not. Live and let live.\n\n\u201cToday I didn't even have to use my A.K.\u201d\n\nIce Cube is definitely practicing \u201cprogress not perfection\u201d as he has not even committed one single murder today nor fired a round from his firearm. Easy does it.\n\n\u201cToday was a good day.\u201d\n\n\u201cWe are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. It works - it really does.\u201d (Alcoholics Anonymous p. 88)\n\nThen entire 11th Step promises are summed up perfectly in one sentence on the final entry of Ice Cube\u2019s 11th Step. This is the best detailed explanation and communicated definition of a Spiritual Awakening that I have ever heard. It is definitely way better than any explanations or descriptions that any of the personal stories give in the Big Book. Additionally, I must mention, exponentially better and more informative than Bill Wilson\u2019s.", "post_id": "cb5e23"}, {"question": "The recommendation for treatment of anxiety is 6-12 months past full remission of symptoms. Most recent evidence seems to suggest longer, but it's not the strongest evidence. It's something to discuss with your doctor. You can lower the dose gradually and see how you do. It's always possible to wait longer and then stop it; it's also always possible to restart it if you find your anxiety worsened without it.\n\n​\n\nIt's possible that the GI effects of citalopram are causing/mimicking IBS, but SSRIs like citalopram are also recommended treatment for IBS, so it's hard to know.", "comment": "Hello, I'm a 23 year old female and have been taking citalopram since last August, so here is my story - I visited Greece July last year and ended up in the medical centre having ecg and an xray as I was having v bad pains in chest (basically thought I was having a heart attack) turns out it was just anxiety which I had never suffered with before in my life. So I got home from Greece and saw my gp straight away who signed me off work (I put the anxiety down to a v stressful job which was also a v unpleasant place to be). After my second visit to the gp he prescribed me with 10mg citalopram- it took me a while to pluck up the courage to take these as I've never been one to rely on tablets but enough was enough and I wanted to get better. So fast forward to around November time things were good, I have a new job and I am feeling a lot better but then I was hit with some bad news in the family so again went into meltdown and went upto 20mg of citalopram. So here we are now 10 months on from my first episode and I feel like I'm a new girl. I feel like I've found myself again and I am the best version of me, apart from now suffering with severe ibs. I've learnt how to deal with anxiety (I suffered mostly with health anxiety), I'm in a great job, and I feel like I can deal with whatever life wants to throw at me. So what I want to know is, do I have to stay on citalopram forever? Is there a recommended amount of time to be on it? Is there a possibility that my IBS could be linked to the medication(as it's only since I started taking it that I have suffered)? I dont necessarily want to be taking these tablets for the rest of my life but also dont want to try run before I can walk. Any advice will be greatly appreciated", "post_id": "btqkaa"}, {"question": "Many psychologists offer sliding fees to fit your financial burdens, although as a business- they have to make money.\n\nMight try seeing a Master's level therapist (LPC, MSW, etc) - they are just as good and cost less (the only real difference between a psychologist and a counselor is that a psychologist has a degree to to research and can offer more assessments)", "comment": "They charge something like $100 an hour, every week... that really adds up. How can I justify allowing my family to pay those kinds of fees for me?\n\nI don't meant to sound unappreciative, or rude. But I wonder if it's making me feel worse allowing my family to suffer the costs simply because I suffer from mental illnesses? (depression and anxiety... to a very debilitating extent)", "post_id": "sgtf9"}, {"question": "Assuming that \"FBS\" is blood glucose that's a normal reading and you're fine.", "comment": "hi I'm 27 years old, 5'7 tall/short, and weigh just under 250 Ib, for the longest time my diet consisted of 1L daily intake of juices and carbonated drink + junk food. the other day there was a thread on reddit about diseases and shit, and it quite frankly scared me, so today i decided to take a blood test for diabetes, i've eaten breakfast at around 7:45 am, and drank coffee around 9:00 am, i didn't eat anything afterwards until i took the test at around 5:00 pm and these were the results:\n\nhttps://i.imgur.com/byeUK4W.jpg\n\nso am i diabetic, or has allah bestowed upon me a new life?", "post_id": "9g32st"}, {"question": "I could not recommend applying for accommodations enough!  I had accommodations while in high school, and didn't want to pursue them in college because \"I didn't want to feel different.\"  It was worst choice I made.  I knew I was able to comprehend and do what was asked of me, I just needed more time than others to do so.  When I returned to school after taking time off, I applied for the services and I a significant portion of my success to these accommodations.\n\nAfter speaking to a counselor and verifying my diagnosis, I was given time and a half on tests in a quiet and private room (when available, which was more often than not); permission to use a voice recorder during lecture; and have a volunteer note taker.  I am starting my first semester of grad school next week and I know these accommodations will continue to be invaluable to me.\n\nTL;DR:  Apply for accommodations.  Even if you think you can do without them, it is better to have them and not need them, than need them and not have them.\n\nBest wishes!", "comment": "Hi, I am currently in the process of submitting supplementary forms into my application for university. I saw the option for applying for Academic Accommodation and ADHD was one of the disabilities that was covered. I have never really received any special accommodation in elementary school and secondary school, so I am not sure I really require it.\n\nHave any of you applied for support in school like this before? If so did it benefit you?\nWould you suggest doing so? \n\nTL;DR: University applicant wondering if he should apply for academic accommodation based off of his ADHD.\n\nEdit: I have now talked to my guidance about it today and now he is going to be contacting the teacher who deals with this kind of stuff frequently.\n", "post_id": "2slc79"}, {"question": "Hi. Sorry re delay. I am delighted and its getting easier. Still the usual cravings but much less at the front of my mind. Things better with family life too. Hopefully they will stay like that!! How are u getting on now? What are u doing to replace the booze? ", "comment": "Hi \ud83d\udc4b Ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well I\u2019m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. \nShort intro, I\u2019m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn\u2019t a year old. I didn\u2019t drink a drop during pregnancy but once I had him - boom \ud83d\udca5 I stupidly had that first drink thinking I will be able to moderate now. A mistake we have all made I\u2019m guessing. \nI now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary\u2019s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. \nHowever I remember how great I felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how I dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! \nDetermined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. I know I can do it and have the drive to see it through so let\u2019s do this! \nEek scared and excited at the same time", "post_id": "8m0esx"}, {"question": "Feel you on this one! Hence why I am now being a marriage and family therapist! I can now use it as a gift to help others haha", "comment": "So I'm one of those people who lose all sense of inhibition when I'm with friends, but hanging out with people I don't know as well makes me fold into myself. I find it impossible to speak and would rather go unobserved. \n\nWhich makes it all the more irritating that my brain is so quick to jump to conclusions and understanding what people are saying before others are. I cannot count the amount of times I've been infuriated listening to conversation where two people are talking past each other, both not realizing that the other is completely missing the point or they're talking about two different subjects. Sometimes to move them along I just straight up explain to them what the other is saying because I'm so impatient to get this convo going. Rude? Maybe. But God, guys, why are you still discussing this! Why does no one in the room seem to understand what the conversation is actually about! Get a fucking move on!\n\nNow the worst thing I know is people who interrupt (sorry, interrupters, but it's super annoying), so I'd rather sit there suffering than finish someone's train of thought for them, but GOD is it tempting. ", "post_id": "9nsnp4"}, {"question": "why are you with this guy?????", "comment": "\nI (22F) have been with my bf (25M) going on three months and I'm wondering if I'm the only one making any sacrifices in our sex life.\n\nHe was pretty forthcoming early on with his expectation of sex every day. He sees this as an important part of a relationship. I thought this was unusual as my previous bf didn't expect sex every day. I'm usually pretty good with reciprocating his sexual advances, but sometimes I just don't want it. He sometimes makes comments that makes me feel guilty about not wanting it (joking or not!).\n\nHe refuses to wear a condom because he says \"it feels like taking a shower in a raincoat\". As I am unable to go on the pill due to being prone to migraines, I opted for the implant so as to ensure I don't get pregnant. I've been having major side effects from it and am considering getting it removed (bf does not agree with this - but I don't care because it's MY body that's being wrecked). I'm also not very keen to try other birth control methods such as the IUD.\n\nI get pretty uncomfortable during/after sex \"down there\". It feels like I've been stretched out and it slightly burns (a torn feeling?). This torn feeling lasts at least a day and if we have sex while it still hurts, it gets so much worse and/or he can't even get inside me. I suggested we use lube to see if that helps but he says he prefers \"natural lubrication\" and that we should just do more foreplay. I can definitely say more foreplay doesn't help. I'm unsure of why this is happening since I do tend to get extremely wet. I've never had this problem with other partners, though I've almost always used condoms, and he is larger than my previous partners.\n\nLast night I actually discovered a pea-sized lump just below my clitoris that hurts when I touch it and is very uncomfortable if I sit or stand a certain way. I'm not too concerned at this point but I will go see a doctor if it's still there in a couple of days.\n\nI've had various STI tests in the last couple months (all clear), but my bf has never had one and is not open to it. He says he's clean because he's never noticed any symptoms and I've tried to tell him that he wouldn't necessarily have any symptoms and could still have an STI. I'm concerned because he is so clearly against wearing condoms and has had around 6 sexual partners.\n\nSometimes I just feel like I'm there as a tool for him to get off. I regularly feel shitty after sex even though I'm pretty sure I love him.\n\nI'm seeing him tonight and am unsure of how to bring all this up.\n\nTL;DR - bf won't get STI checked even though he refuses to wear condoms, wants sex every day and makes me feel guilty when I don't want it, I get sore regularly and he won't use lube. Noticed a pea-sized lump below my clit. How do I bring it all up to him?", "post_id": "6wg2py"}, {"question": "I can tell you that I've often felt the same way, although I'd say in comparison, you're probably putting a lot of stress on yourself at a younger age than I did.  \n\n\nKeep this thought in mind.  Your brain isn't even fully formed until you're in your early-mid 20's.  Is it reasonable to expect that you meet some of these major life goals shortly after your brain just finished fully forming?  \n\n\nI felt very similar in the search the love, knowing exactly what I wanted to do, feeling like I should be financially secure (own a house, own a car, etc.)\n\n\nI'm almost 33.  Married for a little over 2 years now.  When it comes to love, looking back, had I pressured myself to \"find love\" and get married in my early 20's, it would have been one of the worst decisions I would have ever made and by this point would have surely either ended up divorced or living miserably.  \n\n\nI'd say the 20's are your years to experiment.  Figure out who you are, try new hobbies, travel some, date a lot of people to figure out what you want/need in a partner.  Once you've met so many of these goals, you don't have the time, energy, or aren't able to do many of these things after, but no matter how old, you can do them before.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "cn74pu"}, {"question": "Honestly I do believe that we can learn to have  control over how our thoughts impact our feelings and vice versa. You can easily 'feed' insecurity and negative thoughts through action, words, and thought. You can counter them with positive self talk, and that is evidenced based shown to be effective in combating negative emotions and thoughts. self talk is a big part of recovery, and we often are not our own best friends.\n\nPart of what I think is helpful too is to learn to be less sensitive about our mental health. Yeah it sucks and feels like a criticism, but it's not unwarranted nor is it meant in jest if someone has a suggestion or comment on our behavior. We need these opportunities to grow and learn from our mistakes to beat this. And we definitely can overcome it\n\nTo add on to this, I work in addiction recovery. A lot of my clients are addicts that do want to be clean but continue to relapse and make the same mistakes. The problems are less about drugs and more about their underlying issues and how they approach the world. Mistrust, dishonesty, stubbornness and rigidity, desire to take the easy path, lack of patience... among many other things, all play a role in recovery. You can be sober but if you keep acting with those behaviors and thoughts, you will relapse and you will never heal, you will continue to struggle. \n\nI think bpd is similar. If we continue to let this disorder guide our behaviors and thoughts we never find our sense of self, never form our own identity, and forge our own path ahead. My favorite part of DBT was 'opposite action', where you literally do the opposite of how you feel. And it fucking works. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ar8b03"}, {"question": "if she's sick and NOT taking care of herself, the rel.  is in big trouble. how patient do you want to be? what's going to change???", "comment": "Unfortunately not my first time posting here. \n\nA quick backstory. My wife and I went through a whirlwind romance. I adopted her child and we have one together. We've been married now a decade. About four years ago my family dropped a bomb on us with some disgusting revelations about my uncle and my sister. Shortly after my wife had an affair. We are now three years out from the affair. \n\nOriginally when I was living off my parents and we had our own child, I told my wife she didn't have to work so she could spend the time with our child. Once our child started Pre-k, I told my wife the she needed to find a job. Now three years later, she still hasn't found a job or really looked. She uses the excuse that I work too much or that she wouldn't make enough to justify the expense. \n\nMy wife is also very sickly as of the last year. Bad enough to the point where I made her go to the doctor and get a full run up done just because I felt like she was sick all the time. Of course the test came back negative (there is nothing wrong with her). But her streak of sickness continues (i.e. had the \"flu\" twice this year, but never test positive; had multiple bladder infections, but never tested for one; and constant headaches and stomach aches). \n\nIt has just been A LOT lately. \n\nTo top it off she's on diet pills, started smoking (i HATE smoking), and has started drinking a lot more (2-4 times a week).\n\nI'm just generally unhappy about where we are right now. I've talked to her about the job and she says she is going to get one (but hasn't even done a resume yet or started looking), she knows how frustrated I am with her \"sickness,\" and makes me feel bad every time I doubt her sickness. \n\nI just don't know what to do anymore. I love her and feel like I'm to the point where I have accepted her for who she is and what she has done; however, i just don't feel like things are even. I would KILL to have a day off where I just sit on the couch and be \"sick\" (I have TWO high stress jobs), but I can't not work. ", "post_id": "5sorf2"}, {"question": "couple therapy", "comment": "He always wants to hang out with me when we are home alone. I tell him I'm writing jokes and want to be alone and he still bothers me. He will sit on my bed and talk. So we argue over this. I cook him dinner and he never eats it, yet always asks me what's for dinner. So we argue.\n\nItsgotten to the point where I sleep alone in the seperate room and tell him I want to be alone. He will then barge in and try and sleep with me. I tell him no and no, yet he doesn't take that as an answer. Last night he went in when I wasn't paying attention and turned the futon down into a bed and we argued over this.\n\nOn top of all this he co stantly complains we don't spend enough time together even though we have date nights, go to his parents for dinner, and watch house of cards together. I just don't know what he is complaining about.\n\nI love him, but its getting to the point where I can't stand him. What should I do?", "post_id": "768azq"}, {"question": "Find out if you have any shared interests.  Make a plan to do that.  Even if not,  suggesting something like games or recreation activities are generally great date ideas if you're on the younger side.  Mini-golf, shooting pool, going ice or roller skating, or anything along those lines.  They give you something to do but also the opportunity to talk, get to know each other, and flirt as opposed to say watching tv or going to the movies.   ", "comment": "I don't know how to undo the issue and I feel kinda bad about it", "post_id": "938xg3"}, {"question": "Ultimately, you know the situation, your wife, and her doctor better than any of us. You will have to ultimately use your judgment on what's going to keep her safe and alive. \n\nI would suggest talking to her psychiatrist, if you feel he would e sensitive to your concerns. Maybe you two can come up with a plan to help her? Either way- he needs to be aware that she is not taking her medicine for him to help. ", "comment": "My wife has suffered from depression for years. The severity fluctuates -- at worst, she's suicidal and has attempted it before. She's headed there again. I've been through these attempts before, and the signs are clear. Problem is, she stopped taking her medication about six months ago, and has been lying to her psychiatrist about it. I've been supporting her decision and not ratting her out. But, now that she's sliding down so fast, should I tell him? Part of me says yes, because she clearly needs medication, but another part of me knows that if I did that she'd feel so betrayed that she'd become suicidal right now. And by that I mean she'd get a hotel room and kill herself, like she's threatened to do many times before, and not give me the opportunity to intervene like I usually do.\n\n", "post_id": "2ivnl4"}, {"question": "Oh boy. This is sort of a loaded question. I got my LMHC in MA after getting my Masters in Counseling. I also live in MA. My understanding of this is that with your SW degree you have an easier time getting independently licensed and can use that in a multiple states. With your LMHC you have to get independently licensed in each state which may or may not mean returning to school. I've heard from LICSW friends that they have more career options and often get paid better due to versatility in their degree. LMHC is less social work related jobs and more therapy jobs (although they can be somewhat interchangeable, as in doing more of a LICSW job now and am an LMHC, and plenty of LIs do therapy).\n\nPersonally I don't regret getting my LMHC but wish I had more information on the differences during grad school. I think it's more of an access to jobs difference, but maybe someone had better information than I do. \n\nI can answer anything you'd like I know about LMHC track, so feel free to ask! :) I practice in MA and have had my license for about a year. I just started my own private practice, so it sounds like we have similar career goals!", "comment": "I am a 24 year old Skills Instructor (working with adults with disabilities) with a BS in Psychology looking to go back to school and get my masters. My ultimate career goal is to be an independent couples counselor working out of my own home or a private office.\nI originally was planning on applying to a state university program for counseling but was recently told that if I want to be independently contracted then clinical social work is a better program to apply for.\nSo, marriage and family counselors of Reddit, what's your advice for the best path to go down to get where I want to be? What're the next steps I should be taking?\n(I live in MASSACHUSETTS if that makes any sort of difference licensure wise)", "post_id": "6ve7iu"}, {"question": "Yes, and Yes. Do you trust him? Is he committed to you? Plans for the future? Never be shy about asking questions when you have feelings about something.", "comment": "So I've been dating a guy for 9 months and we're both 29. When we first started dating he was very open about still being in contact with his exes as they were friends before they started dating. Which was weird but I was ok with it. I feel like lately his communication with one ex in particular has increased. Should I ask him about it? Should I be concerned?", "post_id": "626fp0"}, {"question": "Just twice? Then practically zero chance. Theres probably bigger risks in breathing in polluted city air than what you did.", "comment": "I really regret smoking weed the 2 times I did it. Each time was separated by about a 3 month time period. No tobacco mixed in it, just joints, and both times were after work so I shared the joint with some friends so I never smoked an entire joint.  If I remember correctly I'm pretty sure I only puffed on each one three times or twice even.  \n\nThaaaaat being said, even though I enjoyed the feeling, I feel like ive tainted my body.  And ive done some research and the fact that inhaling any kind of smoke is bad for you Ive established that I would not be doing it again.  In fact I am a bit surprised by the amount of people who will defend weed smoking and act as if it has virtually no ill harm towards you when in reality it does.  Smoke is smoke.  \n\nBut yeah, would there be permanent damage left behind, for example any irreversible tar in my lungs, or chemicals in my blood.  I take my general health to high regard, it truly is priceless at the end of the day its all we have.  I'm currently 24, and I did this last year.  \n\n\nThank you in advance.", "post_id": "6r5b3b"}, {"question": "Well, hearing sounds that are not there is a symptom of schizophrenia. However, this does not sound like a symptom of schizophrenia to me.", "comment": "I'm 19 and have been diagnosed with health anxiety and a panic disorder. My main worry at the moment is schizophrenia. I've noticed that I sometimes hear sounds that aren't there when I'm falling asleep. I googled it and it seems like its a \"common\" experience (according to a study it's up to 70% of people who experience it, just can't recall it). However, I can't find anything about if it's linked to having schizophrenia or not and it's making me quite worried. I also have a history of derealization (I don't experience it anymore thankfully). Could this be a sign of schizophrenia in the future?\n\nP.S. I'd go so far as saying that my panic disorder has now been cured. I haven't had a panic attack in almost two years now.", "post_id": "dxt5h3"}, {"question": "Where are you in the steps? The meetings are irrelevent without the steps.", "comment": "I have been going to AA almost daily and really trying to stay active in the program and credit the program for helping me get to 28 days sober. I have been dedicating a lot of my time to make meetings and stay active in AA while ignoring my other problems I need to fix. \n\nYesterday I was trying to work on my problems and had a lot of emotions come to the surface and I was feeling really depressed, lonely and hopeless again. I decided to call some people from AA to talk about the problems I was having and the only answer they gave me was \"go to a meeting!\".\n\nThat was the first time I felt like I was in a cult or something like that. I came to realize that instead of drinking to escape from my problems and feel better I am using AA to feel better and not have to deal with my issues. \n\nMoving forward I am going to continue in AA but I think I will only go about 2-3 days a week. I honestly think it helps and I enjoy meetings but it is not going to solve the problems I am having in my life. It will help me to deal with some issues but its just one tool for me to maintain my sobriety. I will take what helps me but leave the rest. \n\nHas anyone ever experienced something like this?\n\n\n", "post_id": "1h3bkk"}, {"question": "The DSM definition of PTSD was based on the experience of American Vietnam War Veterans, many of whose PTSD was caused by exposure to violent death. So, technically, if you have not been exposed to violent death, you can't fully qualify for the diagnosis. However, of course you can have a post trauma reaction to other traumatic events and they do not have to include violence. DSM is mostly mute about this possibility and doesn't provide for it explicitly, and if you're being technical, you'd have to diagnose Other Specified Trauma or similar. \n\nThe entire category of trauma disorders is political in nature and many legitimate types of trauma disorders have been unrecognized because the political will to recognize them has not been sufficient. I recommend you read Dr. Judith Herman's brilliant and brutal book Trauma And Recovery for an overview of this topic which is covered in the early chapters.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gir4ko"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "So here goes nothing. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and just recently about 3 months ago we had our child. We have plans on getting married and the whole nine, but recently she admitted she cheated on me once. Let me explain. During the beginning of her pregnancy she was actually extremely mad at me because of it. Even to the extent to where she broke up with me for roughly 2 months, now during those 2 months she was completely avoiding me and telling me we were never getting back together. For some reason I had a feeling that during that time she was seeing someone. And she was, she admitted to me she \"made out\" with the guy and they saw each other frequently during this time. She said they only \"made out\" once ,but once they left one another he would kiss her on the cheek. She tells me she feeling like the worst mother and person in existence because of it, she says it wasn't her, she did it because she came out pregnant and to extent was trying to forget it all. I told her I forgive her, but sometimes I think about it and it infuriates me and kills me, during the time she was doing that I was trying to find ways to win her back and was actually buying a engagement ring. She did tell me she stopped it as soon as she became sane and she says she thinks about it constantly and regrets it all with ever inch of her. And she swore on her life she would never do anything remotely close to that ever again. But it still haunts me, trying to forget what she's done.  I want to believe her, I want to be with her because she does make me happy and she is a very important person in my life, and she's the mother of my daughter. But I don't know how to deal with the constant image and what If she isn't telling me the whole story. (The child is 100% mine)", "post_id": "67me1k"}, {"question": "Every day that i can. ", "comment": "Hey. Idk how much more I can take this agony of emptiness. I feel dead. Like nothing I do has meaning. I feel depersonalized. Has anyone overcame this?", "post_id": "5rcov3"}, {"question": "Around 60 days I felt like the \"fog\" lifted, this was after smoking multiple times daily for approximately 2 years. It takes time. If you're concerned I suggest visiting the doctor. Otherwise find some other things to occupy your time and attention and exercise your brain as other commenters suggested... The more you worry the larger the problem will start to seem. Give yourself something enjoyable to focus on instead.", "comment": "Before I start, I apologize for the long post, but I hope people take the time to read because I'm starting to freak out. \n\nI've posted two times now about my recovery process..once when I was 2 weeks clean and when I was 45 days clean. I'm now just about at 2 months sober, but I feel like my brain has had such minor recovery.\n \nI'm currently 21 years old (just about 22)and started smoking when I was 16. I didn't start using daily until I was 17 & 1/2. I can remember that one day during my senior year of high school, (during my smoking consistently every day period) where I chose not to smoke in the morning, however I felt as if I was kind of high. My brain wasn't functioning normally and it almost seemed as if I was experiencing the mental effects of being high, but not the feelings of being high. \n\nI talked to my friend about how I didn't feel right and he told me how you can feel foggy for a couple weeks after smoking. It was strange though because I had been smoking for a year, (only on the weekends) but didn't feel the negative after effects until I started using daily. \n\nI then continued smoking practically eeevery day for the next 4 years..and now I'm here..2 months clean with the sense that I'm never going to feel 100% because I started daily use at such a young age and that some connections in my brain are irrepairable. \n\nI don't know how to describe it other than feeling overall less intelligent. My night vision seems worse, my senses are dulled, my brain just feels like it's running at half speed. \n\nI think the thing that worries me the most is that I have no withdrawal symptoms other than feeling like a dumbass. Do other people feel this way? I've brought this up to my friends who I would smoke with all the time and they say that they don't feel any different and that it's all in my head. On the contrary though, I KNOW that it's not all in my head based on my comprehension of every day life. \n\nI just can't live with the thought that I permanently damaged my brain from personal decisions and that I will never be the same person again. How could I have been such an idiot. Will I ever have my old brain back??? Most people seem to be feeling better as time goes on, meanwhile I'm worrying more and more. \n\nSorry for the long post guys, I'm just looking for some truth and maybe similar experiences. \n\nThanks.", "post_id": "66beim"}, {"question": "Therapists and psychologists are pretty similar and can both work with you\u2019re difficulties. If you are interested in sex therapy AASECT is the organization that certifies sex therapists. You can search on there for one in your area. A good book that I would recommend is \u201ccome as you are\u201d by Emily Nagoski. She also has some great videos and Ted talks.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "evqwme"}, {"question": "i think you just have to be pro-active about doing new things and sharing new experiences. you prob. fell in love while you were doing fun activities. hopefully that formula works again.", "comment": "Obvious throw away account but I really need to ask some advice and I can't reach out to friends (most are mutual and the others are guys who aren't really the kind I can ask this about) or family (not close, not helpful).\n\nI am 34M and I really dont know what to do about my relationship with my common-law wife 29F.  Our relationship is fine; no one is cheating, no one is abusive, no one is even neglectful. We have been together going on 7 years, we were best friends before we started dating and we still are.  But for the last little while (12-18 months), I just feel like that's all we are, if that. I care about her and I love her but I just dont know if I am in love with her anymore.  \nWe do not have alot of the same interests; TV shows, movies, books, hobbies etc.  We do not talk alot anymore; not that we ignore each other or do not spend time together, we just do not seem to have anything interesting or engaging to say to each other. We are still attracted to each other and have sex fairly regularly but it doesn't have the same \"pop\" it did.  \nWe dont have kids; though we do have pets.  We dont own anything together (except a car) and dont really have any debt. \nIt would be painful but not extremely hard (finanically or legally) to get out of the relationship.  But I am not sure what to do. \nIs this just normal? Do all relationships just become routine and bland with time? I am just suffering from \"grass is greener\" syndrome? \nI have tried to talk to her about this but I dont even know how to explain it to her.  \"Sorry honey, I love you but I find you boring?\" \nAny help?", "post_id": "650rw5"}, {"question": "As a therapist I would say yes.  It is definitely romanticized especially for younger folks.  A few reasons I think this happens is when musicians/artists/celebrities etc. begin to open up about their mental illness.  Many individuals both young and old believe that mental illness is a precursor or necessary for creativity to the point they wish for or look to experience mental illness so that they can be like their role models.  In reality, those artists/musicians/etc would be creative regardless and would trade away their mental illness in a heart beat because it hinders their ability to create.  \n\n\nAnother aspect of it is that whether you legitimately have a diagnosable mental illness or just believe that you do, it makes you feel special, like part of an exclusive club.  For folks who are struggling developing their sense of identity, this is something folks are drawn to.  I remember once working with a teenage client who had their diagnosis tattooed on them.  I didn't have the heart to tell them that diagnoses change regularly and I was fairly certain the diagnosis tattooed on her wasn't even correct.  \n\nAs far as the quote goes, it does make sense in the way that some people are more comfortable with the uncomfortable situation they know than one that is unfamiliar.  It  does also seem to continue to romanticize mental illness which I think does a disservice to those who struggle by minimizing it to some extent.  ", "comment": "In my opinion, people, including me, romanticize their own mental illness to help themselves cope with it. I\u2019m in a master\u2019s level mental health degree program and my professor put an image up today that stated \u201cit\u2019s hard to let go of the demons inside you because they were holding you when nobody else did.\u201d And he asked us all what we thought of it. \n\nI raised my hand and stated that I believed this was a romanticized view of mental illness. I think that we romanticize  as a way to cope with what\u2019s going on. Because in reality, our mental illness, our \u201cdemon\u201d is not helping us in any way. But sometimes we take on our mental health as our identity because it\u2019s comforting to us and it\u2019s what we know. It can be scary to break into a normal or healthy state of mind. \n\nWell, when I stated this, a classmate became angry and felt like I was invalidating her experience, as she had self harmed when she was younger and identified with the quote. \n\nNow I\u2019m confused because I\u2019ve had my own share of mental health concerns and I didn\u2019t mean to invalidate anyone. But I do believe mental health concerns are romanticized when there\u2019s nothing romantic or sweet about them. Opinions?", "post_id": "9jjbb2"}, {"question": "The answers to those questions probably depend on your friend. I'd say, ask you're friend how they want you to address that issue. ", "comment": "I'm making a new friend, and she's had to leave school on account of hearing voices and panic attacks in crowds, as well as fainting  and feeling judged. I ask because this is somewhat new so I'm not entirely clear on how it works, and she's been more or less fine every time I've seen her; besides sympathy is there anything else I should be doing/bear in mind?\nI'm not the most mentally healthy person I know, so it's not as though my perspective on what helps is entirely that of an outsiders That said, I don't experience any of these things in particular.\n", "post_id": "219mwi"}, {"question": "... Yes. I feel guilty about it too for some reason", "comment": "When I\u2019m alone at home doing homework or chores around the house, I always have YouTube videos or podcasts playing in the background because it makes me feel less lonely. \n\nDoes anyone else do this or am I just weird? Lol.", "post_id": "bdack7"}, {"question": "you don't want to lead her on.", "comment": "She is really attractive and I am not doing anything sexual or asing for anything sexual. ", "post_id": "5kmzh2"}, {"question": "There is no problem combining stimulants and SSRIs (and Wellbutrin), and that combination is common. Wellbutrin is also used for ADHD, but it's less effective overall than stimulants.", "comment": "Weird question. \n\nI\u2019m a 22F with anxiety, depression, PTSD, combined presentation ADHD. My ADHD is 99th percentile per the DSM-IV, so medication has been recommended. Weight is 125 pounds, height is 5\u20194.\n\nI\u2019m on 150 mg Zoloft, 150 mg Welbutrin (it helped with the sleepiness i got from my Zoloft just a bit)\n\nI know SSRIs and ADHD meds can be problematic. Are there any ADHD meds specifically that are made for this purpose or ones that have a decreased likelihood of negative interactions?", "post_id": "ez98sg"}, {"question": "If you have a bunch of levels already it's a win. With less than a year of sober actions and risk catching, this sounds massively misguided and really scary. Each person's sobriety is their own thing but this smells just like the addiction trying to convince you it's gone. \n\nRelapse usually comes on the back of three conditions which means proximity/access alone is never the problem by itself. \n\nCongratulations because each win is a win but this set off my Spidey Sense. ", "comment": "Day 23 here and today I took possession of a bag of weed for my brother in law who lives with me and helps out on my farm. It is a thank you gift as he enjoys his smoke and it isn't a problem for him. \nI sat with him whilst he had a smoke, I could smell it, I could almost taste it .... And yet I'm ok. \n\nI can do this. I wasn't sure how it would be but it's ok ... I don't want to smoke weed anymore. The addict in me does but my voice is louder. I feel like today is a breakthrough. I've been tested and I've scored gold \ud83d\ude01", "post_id": "b7bo3o"}, {"question": "If you have not completed an undergraduate degree, yup, that's a good place to start! Psychology is a particularly good major option, but there are other totally fine choices such as Human Services or Social Work. \n\nTypically, to be a competitive grad school applicant for a licensable Master's degree, you would want some sort of experience in a helping role with a vulnerable population. This could be work, volunteering, or internships. \n\nThen, you would apply to graduate school. Commonly licensable Master's degrees include Counseling, MFT, and Social Work. These will usually be about two years.\n\nAfter that, you will need to meet your state's licensure standards, which means, among other things, practicing under someone else's license and getting supervision for your therapy work. The exact amount of time to get licensed will vary by degree path, specific licensure, and state.", "comment": "I'm looking to retrain as a therapist - I'm 27! - and COVID19 has put my current job at threat.The end-goal is to practice in the private sector as a compassion-focused therapist. What are the steps to get me there? \n\nUndergrad degree, then a MA/Diploma in the chosen methodology? Is there a different way to get to this? \n\nAny advice will be so SO helpful xx", "post_id": "hbe73l"}, {"question": "A lot of people are posting inappropriately here. No shaming. No insulting. Nothing.\n\nAny further comments that are out of line will lead to bans.", "comment": "​\n\n* Age - 24\n* Sex - Female\n* Height - 170cm\n* Weight - 80kg\n* Race - Caucasian\n* Duration of complaint - 2 years on and off, depends if I am dating someone\n* Location - All over my body, mainly face. Currently in Finland\n* Any existing relevant medical issues - No\n* Current medications - None\n\nRelevant photos:\n\nThis is how my skin would get after being with someone for two weeks in a row.\n\nIn the first one, you see my skin is red all over, and it felt like a reptiles skin. It was very painful all over and **no** **lotion, steroid cream, tacrolimus cream or steroids would make it better.** (It's my upper body only wearing a bra, possibly NSFW)\n\n[https://imgur.com/yunTpTM](https://imgur.com/yunTpTM)\n\nThe second one is of my arm a couple weeks after the first photo, where it just starts to look like eczema.\n\n[https://imgur.com/pzxKRkt](https://imgur.com/pzxKRkt)\n\n​\n\n**How it started**\n\nSo, this first started 2 years ago, when I got into a relationship with a guy and started getting weird allergic symptoms. When ever I would spend time with him, my eyes would get super itchy and it felt like something was in my eye all the time. I would also get a rash all over my body, which could not be stopped with lotions or allergy meds. I sometimes felt that maybe allergy meds would make it more bearable, but I am not sure if it was just placebo effect.\n\nSoon we realised he was causing the symptoms and I thought it was some substance he used that would make me react this way. However we tested it, by him using anti dandruff shampoo all over his body for a week before seeing me, not using deodorants and me giving him my clothes when he came to my place, in case it would be laundry detergent. None of this made any difference. We had to end it, because he didn't want to see me suffer.\n\n​\n\n**Right now**\n\nThe first case was about 1,5 years ago and after that I have seen about 20 men (didn't sleep or have sex with all of them) and basically all of them have given me all sorts of symptoms. It could happen only after 1 night of being with someone. The first symptom I get nowadays is usually just itchy eyes and lips, and about three times I have gotten an **allergic shock reaction** on my face. Meaning my face is bloated and I can't open my eyes properly, but there is no problem with my breathing.  Also the area above my lips would get very itchy and start **producing pus**. It takes about two weeks to heal from that. I am right now recovering from a bloated face and somewhat itchy skin, because I slept with a guy for two nights a week ago.\n\n​\n\n**What the doctors have tried**\n\nI've also been to hospitals due to this, I was checked into the dermatology and allergy hospital of Finland for two years, where we were testing different lotions on me, none of them made a big difference. Doctors suspected sperm allergy, but sperm doesn't give me any symptoms. They also did the **prick** and **epicutaneous** tests on me, but I was only found allergic to nickel. They also put me to a **UV light treatment**, which supposedly helped, but I wasn't seeing anyone during that time. I went to a dermatology hospital in France, where I have been living on and off for the past two years as well. My face was bloated again and the doctor only prescribed some lotions and said it was just eczema. The doctors in Finland also came to the conclusion that it was just eczema, that sometimes flares up due to stress. But me, I see a clear correlation between being with men and the symptoms, the doctors just won't believe it.\n\n​\n\n**My own thoughts**\n\nI have read that it is possible to be allergic to another person's proteins, but it's very rare and I don't think that is my case, because it comes from basically every man. I've also later on went on two trips with the guy, from whom I got the symptoms first two years ago. We've slept on the same bed and I've had sex with him maybe twice, however I no longer get symptoms from him. Despite this, neither on of us wants get into a relationship again. This has made me suspect that there might be something wrong with my hormones. Also because there was one guy, who I was not interested in at all, but had sex with him and slept in the same bed for a month or so, and got virtually no symptoms.\n\n​\n\nSo yes, during this time I have become quite depressed, cause I don't know what this is, what to do or how to relieve the pain. The only choice for me has been just to endure it and live with the fact that I probably can never be in a relationship again. So if anyone would have any idea what it might be, any hint is welcome.", "post_id": "ba4ddb"}, {"question": "Depression is so hard ! It just sucks the motivation out of people.  Even if he wants to get better , he may feel helpless and hopeless , which makes it even harder .\n\nYou mentioned a physical illness . Is that being managed? Is his doctor aware that he is this depressed? I have no idea what his health condition it, but it would important to rule out a health condition or medication that could be impacting his mood. \n\n\nWould he be willing to talk to someone online? It may feel less intimidating.  Perhaps you can make an agreement that if he attends X sessions , you will lay off a little bit .\n\nRe ECT , it is not an option right now if he has not first tried therapy and frontline med options.  The long-term side effects are really intense.\n\nHe is lucky to have you ! Supporting and loving a partner through depression is hard work.", "comment": "My boyfriend of 5 years has been on the decline for the last 4 1/2 years. Both due to his past and a sudden sickness that took away his ability to eat his favorite foods, he\u2019s an insomniac and never has energy. He just wanted to die, he hates who he is I feel like I do try really hard to make his life better by coming up with good food, were together all the time. He doesn\u2019t really have other friends, WILL NOT see a therapist I have asked many times. I\u2019ve tried to offer or suggest things to do but he\u2019s so closed off. Idk what to do... any tips to help break this cycle?\n\nAs a side question does electric shock therapy work? I\u2019ve done some reading and was hoping he could try it, tho I think they force you to go to therapy.", "post_id": "fpon4i"}, {"question": " Congrats on the PhD interviews. IWNDWYT", "comment": "From drinking every day for years to half a year not drinking at all!!! It\u2019s insane to me that I\u2019ve made it 6 months and I\u2019m so proud. I couldn\u2019t have made it without /r/stopdrinking and I\u2019m extremely grateful. \ud83d\udc95\n\nI don\u2019t think I realised how bad I was until I quit. I was regularly drinking multiple bottles of wine or blasting through spirits and thinking nothing of it. Hiding it from others, stealing booze, topping up bottles with water, the list goes on. I was always hungover and although I considered myself functioning, now I know I was operating at 60% capacity at best. Alcohol sucks the life from you and it never made me happy, not in the long term. \n\nQuitting is the best thing I\u2019ve ever done!!! If any of you are on the fence about stopping, trust me, it feels amazing. Life is sooo much easier. There\u2019s so much more time, energy and drive! \n\n~\n\nHere are some changes I\u2019ve noticed directly stem from sobriety: \n\n- I am content. Even happy. My depression has abated and my anxiety has improved\n- Increased clarity, ambition, direction and focus\n- My blood pressure\u2019s improved loads\n\n- More consistent with my skincare routine, brushing my teeth at night, etc \n- Finances improved, am hitting my savings goal\n\n~\n\nAnd some indirect positive changes. These are things I might have done while still drinking, but I don\u2019t think I would be doing them so well: \n\n- Finally started my driving lessons and working on getting my license (I\u2019m 24 so it\u2019s about damn time)\n\n- Applied for PhD programmes and have two interviews coming up - yay!!!\n\n- Generally doing really well at university and at work \n\n- I do more exercise, and generally eat better / am healthier\n\n\n~\n\nThe things that suck are that my parents are still heavy drinkers. It\u2019s painful to watch especially when you are doing so much better and wish they had the same. \n\n~\n\nAlso, my cravings aren\u2019t bad at all now. Occasionally I\u2019ll get one but it\u2019s usually because I\u2019m hungry or thirsty and those are easy to fix. Thinking about drinking makes me feel physically sick now, and really anxious. Sometimes I think I might start again or try things here and there but I take it one day at a time and that\u2019s all you can do. I also don\u2019t feel out of place at drinking occasions now. I\u2019m fine with my mocktail, or I leave early, or just don\u2019t go if I don\u2019t wanna, lol. I put myself first \ud83d\ude4c\ud83c\udffc\n\nMy next goal is a year! This has almost turned into a personal challenge, and I enjoy that, plus it\u2019s a good thing to tell people to get them off your back. \n\nThank you everyone and happy Valentine\u2019s Day to you all \ud83d\udc95\ud83c\udf38", "post_id": "aqk1hg"}, {"question": "Hey, you've taken the first step, which is an excellent sign.  Now you know what you're dealing with, and you can start the healing process.  Have a little faith in your psychologist, but more importantly, have a lot of faith in yourself.  ", "comment": "For the first time in my adult life, I was able to simultaneously hold down a job with insurance and find the wherewithal to see a shrink and be honest with him.  He said PTSD before the first hour was up.\n\nI've had these problems, the anxiety, the memory loss, the insomnia, the depression, the shitty impluse control, for the last 14 years.  It was an amazing experience, at first, to have a diagnosis and to be able to stop blaming myself for these problems, but now I'm just feeling like there is too much work ahead.\n\nTo those recovering; how did you get there?  Do things really get better?  Will I be able one day to sleep an entire night? Live without fear of panic attacks? Remember where I put my fucking keys?  Stop hurting those who love me by forgetting what I said, or lying to cover my tracks?\n\nRight now it just seems like one session a week is laughably inadequate to deal with 14 years of maladaptive behavior.  I need a little hope. ", "post_id": "29c3ia"}, {"question": "While I agree that sometimes depression is due to external factors, that is not always the case. Sometimes it really is due to an imbalance of chemicals in your brain, and often medicine is the only way for people to be able to function in any way approaching normal. But, these drugs should be taken in conjunction with therapy, which tends to be equally effective without medication. It's all about finding what works for you.", "comment": "First off, I realise that some people who think that antidepressant are good might feel that this post would be harmful (should anyone take it seriously), but I believe that antidepressants are harmful, and I have some experience with depression and antidepressants. Admittedly I am just one person and I'm sure there are plenty of large scale scientific studies support ADs, but I want to share my personal experience.\n\n.\n\nMy experience with depression has led me to believe that, most of the time, depression is causal; from your situation, rather than there being something wrong with your brain. This isn't just based on my own experience. I think most people who suffer from depression don't openly talk about it (not because they fear stigmatisation but because they don't want people's pity) but when I started discussing ADs with my friends, I was so surprised how many people said \"Oh, yeah. I was on those. Were you on SSRIs?\". When I asked these people about it more, it was almost always because of a break up or a bereavement or some other issue they had (e.g. body image issues). In my case, it was a lack of agency. When I left school and got a job, my depression faded. It's not gone. It's a part of my personality. But it doesn't ruin my life anymore. It is now even perhaps a source of strength. I feel like I have developed coping mechanisms that help me deal with shit that \"healthy\" people who haven't been through the same hell, lack. I still have to stay on my toes, but I don't embrace depression like I used to.\n\n.\n\nWhen I was severely depressed, and I realised that drinking half a bottle of whiskey everyday, wasn't a great idea, I went to the doctor. I got the 10 point questionnaire and was diagnosed and given a prescription within 15 minutes. I took ADs for a short amount of time (some months, I can't remember exactly). I will admit that I went into it incredibly skeptical, and I was thinking about the placebo effect often. Now while I will admit that this skepticism could have caused a negative placebo effect, what occurred to me was that all the side effects that the drugs had, might be crucial to the placebo effect (assuming, with my skepticism, that the drugs have no real therapeutic effect). I have read that sugar pills that I really big or brightly coloured have a much greater placebo effect. I think that the dry mouth, low energy, and lowered libido give the sufferer evidence that the pills are doing something, even if the only real effects are negative. I wanted to give the drugs a good shot, despite my skepticism I was desperate, so I stopped drinking when I started taking them. This is something good that came out of it, even though it didn't help my depression, but I think that I could (or should) have been able to give up drinking on my own or by some other method that wasn't potentially dangerous. I still drink now, but I don't have spirits in my house, and I will sometimes go days without drinking.\n\n.\n\nThat's the anecdotal part, but I also have some philosophical insights. Something that kept running through my head when I was depressed was that I was 'broken'. I think that taking ADs only goes to serve this cognitive misappropriation. While medicalising something that is so painful and so all consuming is simple and comforting, I don't think that it solves the problem and could even make it worse. While there are definitely some medical conditions that cause depression as a symptom. Depression itself isn't a disease, in the same way that alcoholism isn't a disease. If you look at the amount of people who are diagnosed with depression (I don't have the exact numbers on me, but we both know that it's shitloads), what are the chances that a figure like that is accurate? And it is a figure that keeps rising, even with the increased use of the drugs that are supposed to stop it. If you are in that group, consider the possibility that, in this case, the medical consensus might be wrong. You are not broken.\n\n.\n\nNow I know how palpable the pain and fear are when you are depressed. But when you are cut, it isn't a disease, but it really does hurt. The pain is real. And the pain of depression is just as real, and perhaps worse. But the source of the pain; is a cause. The cut might be from a thorn, and the depression might be some trauma or some kind of affection you were deprived of, but it will heal. Of course, first you must remove the thorn, and this is alot simpler in the physical world. However, if you agree with me that depression is causal, and the cause is some shitty aspect of your life, you don't necessarily have to take any actions at all. I think that positive action is good, but you can also change your perceptions of things, with no effort whatsoever. You can decide to stop being afraid, or at least take the first step and decide that you don't want to be afraid anymore. You can decide to get up and walk around the block... just once. You can decide to help someone.\n\n.\n\nWhen you recognise that your depression is causal, and not because your brain is broken, I think you will feel a significant sense of power over your destiny. You will deal with the bereavement. You will get over that break up. And if you just have a shitty job, then at least you know that the problem is that you need a more fulfilling job. Even if you can't leave that job because of your responsibilities, at least you know that there isn't anything wrong with you. Anyone with your intellect would be depressed in that shitty job. Either change it, or change your perception of it. The challenge is identifying the cause, which isn't always apparent.\nI do have some thoughts on why depression is getting more prevalent is today's civilised society but I realise that this is already way too much text and that few people will read it.\n\n.\n\nEdit - Paragraphs.", "post_id": "1xi641"}, {"question": "I agree with the idea of giving her the benefit of the doubt AND staying open to other therapists .\n\nEveryone I know is slammed right now.  People are seeking therapy like never before,  and adjusting to the new demands of telehealth is a big adjustment.  Even those who use it regularly are struggling to keep up with the new demand .\n\nMany therapists are also struggling with other stressors.  Closed schools and daycares,  partners unable to work , etc.", "comment": "A few months ago I was shopping around for a therapist when I met with one that I connected with and was very excited to work with. Unfortunately some financial issues came up so I let her know that I wouldn't be able to start as soon as I'd like however I'd reach out as soon as I'm in a good place financially. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when I reached out to let her know that I'm ready if she has any openings. She sent me her availability, I confirmed the date I was available, and I haven't heard from her since. I even followed up again a few days ago to no response. I'm so bummed because I have been so eager to start this work and finally get the support I need. Wondering if I should give her the benefit of the doubt especially with everything else going on in the world right now and continue waiting for a response or if I should let it go and find a new therapist.\n\nEDIT added clarification", "post_id": "firdkm"}, {"question": "Mood stabilizers aren't perfect. Often that means that they're effective when decreasing the frequency and sometimes severity of mood episodes, not getting rid of them entirely.\n\nWhen you say they work for a month, then become less effective, what do you mean? What happens?", "comment": "I'm 27 years old, 4'11\", 97 lb, F, non\\-smoker, no recreational drugs, daily medications: lamotrigine, latuda, carbamazepine, lithium \\(recently discontinued\\), diagnosis: bipolar disorder \\(somewhere between I and II\\).\n\nThere doesn't seem to be an Ask Psychiatry, so I'm posting here \\(feel free to let me know otherwise\\). I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but for the past three years we have been struggling with finding an effective mood stabilizer \\(a situation that is not uncommon, I realize\\). What seems to happen is that a mood stabilizer will work great for a month or two, but then I will relapse. The nature of my episodes seem to change as each year passes but it is difficult to tell if that is its natural course or if that's due to the many medication changes that have occurred. Together, they serve to deaden the symptoms, but every year I relapse to the degree that I become nonfunctional. As a result, every year we have to try a new mood stabilizer or increase dosages. Is it usual to have a mood stabilizer work only for a month, then become much less effective? I've tried three mood stabilizers and one antipsychotic \\(Latuda\\) so far. ", "post_id": "8olwem"}, {"question": "It sounds like your condition is pretty serious. I, nor anyone else on the internet, can advise you to change your medication regimine, nor can anyone predict the outcome of doing so.\n\nI strongly encourage that you discuss your concerns with your doctor. Even with a slow taper, you may experience some pretty serious consequences. \n\nTapering off meds should always be done under the supervision and guidance of a physician/provider.", "comment": "i am male 38yrs old,  height 6'0\" i weigh 260lbs idon't smoke... i have been diagnosed bi-polar, PTSD, and general anxiety disorder. possibly BPD as well.  i am trying to come off of my meds because i feel like crap all the time, i am basically a zombie.\n\n​\n\nI've taken lots of different meds, some worked better than others but ultimately failed. I'm currently on lithium, keppra, seroquel and (klonopin as needed). i always feel like crap and my thoughts were to taper off and keep seroquel and/or klonopin as emergency pills... the rest of the pills eventually id like to be done with. my replacement would be exercise and diet. is this a bad idea? i mean, even while i was on depakote a while back, i almost took my own life so, how bad can it really get?  i am tired of meds. also, these meds I'm taking are fairly new... within 3 months so, it shouldn't be a difficult withdraw. any thoughts on this... if i left out info I'm sorry and would respond ASAP. thank you in advance.", "post_id": "bkxxtz"}, {"question": "Suicide is always a personal choice someone makes to deal with something they don't feel empowered to solve. There are a lot of supports out there he could have utilized. There's always the thought of \"I could have done something different\" but really there's plenty he could have done differently, not you.\n\nAside from that, that's terrible and I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you are seeking the support you need", "comment": "Everyone tells me it wasn\u2019t my fault. Sure, I didn\u2019t pull the trigger but no one knows what really went on inside of the relationship. We were so in love, soul mates. I tried to commit suicide last year and that\u2019s when I was diagnosed with BPD on top of depression and anxiety. I would go crazy over the smallest things. I\u2019m so embarrassed how I acted, I mean outbursts like trying to slit my throat and arms in front of him. I\u2019ve ran out of the house barefoot before, had cops called on me, and he was even arrested once. I was so attached to him, I wanted him to stay home 24/7 so he could never see his friends. We fought a lot about that one. He told me he would never leave me because he knew I felt abandoned and he loved me beyond my problems. He told me I was his only reason to live. I started spiraling down big time the month leading up to his death. We fought all the time because I was incredibly controlling and wouldn\u2019t let him leave the house. So we decided to go on a break, but this time was different because he actually changed his relationship status to single on FB. He came home that night and he was drunk and crying saying he loved me so much and I sat on his chest and wiped his tears away telling him it will all be okay. I asked if he wanted dinner as I walked to the kitchen. He declined and changed and said he was running to the gas station real quick. He said he\u2019d be back.. but he never came home. I got the call two hours later that he had shot himself. The person he called on the way to do it told me his last words were he loved me and he didn\u2019t understand why we couldn\u2019t get along.\n\nI can\u2019t explain the way I feel, but if you too have BPD, maybe you will see where I am coming from, no one else does.. \u201cit will get better\u201d they say but are you kidding I\u2019m going to think about this every day for the rest of my miserable life.\n\nMy entire world feels shattered. I\u2019m literally losing my mind. I was too attached or maybe too in love because I don\u2019t know who I am anymore", "post_id": "9te769"}, {"question": "Unusual experiences when falling asleep are fairly common and normal, and hearing voices is one of the most common forms of hypnagogic hallucination. No kind of dream is particularly associated with any problem except certain kinds of nightmares with PTSD. Exploding head syndrome is a particular hypnagogic hallucination (probably; it's not well understood) that happens to have a strikingly strange, but not very descriptive, name.\n\nThis could be due to the reduction in Veniz (venlafaxine) dose, but it also could be unrelated. In any case, nothing you're describing sounds concerning.", "comment": "​\n\n* Age - 24\n* Sex - M\n* Height - 176cm\n* Weight - 76Kg\n* Duration of complaint - About a month\n* Location (Geographic and on body) - India\n* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any) - Possibly DPDR\n* Current medications (if any) - None\n\nHi,\n\nRight before when I fall asleep I hear voices which are loud and involuntary, not always but have occurred many times. It's not continuous, just a single comment or something. It's scary and wakes me up. For example, some scenario is running in my head and I'm half conscious and I'm about to give a reaction( let' say \"wow!\"), but then before I say it, the voice pops and says it out aloud and it wakes me up. It almost feels like someone else is in my head and watching the exact same thing as I am and just gave up his reaction earlier than me. The voice, when it all began sounded like somebody else's but now it sounds like my voice, as if in a recorded audio. Also, I have been seeing ghosts in my dreams more often these days, with a common theme, as if they are trying to suck away my soul or possess me. When I add 1 + 1 it scares the hell out of me. I was recently on Veniz XR 75 and I while I do think it's somehow withdrawal symptoms, but it started when I didn't even completely withdrew only  reduced the dosage from 75 from 37.5. Please tell me I'm not going schizo.", "post_id": "bbek7r"}, {"question": "After contact I think, which can mean that you might be asymptomatic when contagious. Otherwise it could be argued that the common cold can be contained with reasonable precautions rather than being the global killer it is.", "comment": "Source: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000678.htm", "post_id": "5pjdv8"}, {"question": "Gabapentin is used off-label for anxiety, and I have seen it work very well for some people. I haven't seen or heard of it used for depression, although it sees a little bit of use for bipolar disorder. Could it be helping? It's conceivable; it also makes sense that if your anxiety messes with your mood and your anxiety is improved them overall you're able to feel better about things. No, you shouldn't take someone else's medication, but having done so it's reasonable to take that information to your doctor to see what can be done with it.\n\nIf your primary doctor is scary and you can't talk to him then there's at least a little bit of a problem. That's one anxiety that hopefully is better so that you can let him know what's going on and hopefully get helpful input.", "comment": "I am x-posting this from r/antidepressants. I hope this subreddit is appropriate for a question like this. I would just like to know medically if what I'm experiencing could be related to gabapentin.\n\nedit: 24/f, 5''0, 160 lbs, non smoker very very minimal drinking.\n\nthe post (edited):\n\nThe last few years I have been very badly down. My highs are okay and my lows are unbelievably bad. I have a very intense financial situation and a lot of things have gone wrong in the last few months. It made me stress several times a week/per month and i would get so anxious and start spiraling over little things. I have not gone to a doctor because I don't know how to bring up the bad feelings with my primary. He is kinda scary. Plus the appointments are always at least a week after really bad episodes and I just don't feel like seeking help anymore at that point.\n\nRecently I decided to take 4:45 am shifts at work so I asked my mom if she had anything to help me sleep, and she did...300mgs gabapentin. I know you're not supposed to take other people's prescriptions so I looked it up to see if there was anything that screamed for me not to take this drug. It seemed okay. I didn't know what it was or what it was for before i started taking it 2 nights ago, just that it would knock you cold within an hour of being taken. I planned to take it for 2 or 3 nights to switch my schedule to early early mornings. It knocked me out pretty good.\n\nToday and yesterday I've had a surge of energy and motivation like I've never had before. I bought two journals to do some self-education over the summer and have some fun being creative. I've been craving productivity, and even my friend has noticed I'm more 'upitty'. The weirdest thing is how often i'm *laughing.* I'll laugh at my own jokes or sense of humor so much harder than I have, I'll find videos that would have previously extort a smile from me to instead invoke actual laughter out loud, by myself. I can't remember the last time I found something that funny. The most important thing though, is despite how bad everything is, I feel okay. Like I feel like I'm gonna get through it. I had not attributed the feeling of goodness to the drug yet...I think it's just a possibility. I stopped using depo provera around 9 months ago and It could be because I'm off birth control that I feel better. My mom has been less stressed about work so she has not come to me as often when she is stressed (in turn, giving me less to stress about) If this drug could be doing something for me, I want to know if it's something I should consider talking to my doctor about. If it's unlikely, then I'll just ride everything out for a little bit. I will stop taking the drug once I have solidified my sleep schedule.\n\nPlease let me know your thoughts. Thank you!", "post_id": "971b9u"}, {"question": "It's extremely, extremely unlikely that you're going to go through withdrawal from taking a low dose less than daily on average for less than two weeks.\n\nYou'll be fine.", "comment": "** as mentioned below I have an upcoming appointment with a psychiatrist on 4/24. Just looking for some advice/comfort here to help me last until then **\n\nSo on 4/5/18 I was prescribed .5mg of Clonazepam (Kolonopin) twice daily as needed. \n\nI took half of a dose the first day, Thursday (so .25mg)\n1 pill on Friday (.5mg) (4/5)\n1 pill on Saturday (4/6)\n1 pill on Sunday (4/7)\n1 pill on Monday (4/8)\nNone on Tuesday (4/9)\n1 pill on Wednesday (4/10)\nAnd then none until tonight, 4/16. I took half (.25)\n\n(Sunday - Tuesday is hard to remember though, but counting my pills I have 54 left and I started with 60)\n\nStupidly, I deceived to research how habit forming and addictive these can be and it\u2019s starting up my anxiety again. I didn\u2019t realize the long half life can actually make you more dependent and addicted. \n\nI\u2019m now worried I\u2019ve taken too many and I\u2019m scared I\u2019m gonna experience withdrawal symptoms. I don\u2019t plan on taking one tomorrow, but I\u2019m worried about what is going to happen. \n\nI have been prescribed benzos before (about 8 years ago) and used them very sparingly - they wound up expiring. That\u2019s how little I took them. \n\nI\u2019m worried that me taking 6 in 12 days (some consecutively) of this benzo has / will negatively effect me. \n\nIf your experience have I over done it?? Will I experience those scary withdrawal symptoms?\n\nI do have an appointment with a psychiatrist on 4/24 so I just have to hold off until then, but just to hold me over for the week I\u2019m looking for some comfort before my anxiety sky rockets causing me to want to take another (but I won\u2019t) \n\n", "post_id": "8csxo2"}, {"question": "Gratitude is a beautiful thing! I remember realizing that I actually had more paper towels to use after I ran out, or even had paper towels to begin with. When I was at my worst, spending money on paper towels was not even on the radar. Crazy, but thinking about this small thing really gave me perspective on how much I had changed.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "c1qmv7"}, {"question": "Follow what your doctor says, if you don't feel well, call your doctor and talk to them. Your doctor knows you better than we do. ", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "83ngdf"}, {"question": "UK addictions psychiatrist here.\n\nWhich part of the UK are you (the provision of addictions services are surprisingly varied)?\n\nIn practice, it is about graded reduction of consumption of cannbinoids. Biologically speaking, theres no medication or substitute prescribing necessary to come off cannabis.\n\nOn the other hand, there's the psychological aspects of addiction, and you might find the supports available for nicotine smoking to be useful. Also finding a way to fill the time when you smoked is useful.", "comment": "I have been smoking for 20 plus years and need help to quit, I have tried traditional methods 100 times over and nothing has even helped..so decided to visit the doctor.\n\nThe doctor didn't seem trained or equipped to handle something like this and responded with \"have you tried cutting down\" that's it and seem to want me out as quick as possible....just to outline I have a good job and was impeccably presented that day in a suit as it was in between appointments, I don't look like the average I would say. \n\nThat felt like a slap in the face....I guess like saying to someone with depression, have you tried being happy or just snapping out of it, or to someone over weight have you tried portion control or eating less.\n\nI Just wondered if there is anymore help available and If i have a crap doctor, or they just generally don't have the training or knowledge to help as they seemed very uninterested and I felt as though I had forgotten more than she knew on the subject.\n\nAny help gladly received", "post_id": "5x5vgj"}, {"question": "I noticed your other post too. Where do you live? You see a counsellor, but do you see any other professionals? What (psychiatric/non-psychiatric) meds are you on, if any? Any other medical history? Do you smoke/drink alcohol/use any drugs at all? Anyone in your family with mental health illness?\n\nIt could be lots of things actually. Im wary of diagnosing you from your posts as it's much better to be careful for someone your age.\n\nGive us as much info, and ill reply thereafter.\n\nEdit: Noted you are in the UK (England) - how much of this does the GP know?", "comment": "Was wondering if anyone could help me. I'm 15, male. I've been depressed, anxious, self harming and suicidal since early August. Since then I've had episodes. I can either be severely depressed and have negative thoughts and be non functional, or very happy and productive and the changes happen very fast. It's like two extremes and there isn't a grey area. I also have been hearing voices for the past month or so, but in the past week it's been intense. It sounds like a young woman next to me saying 'kill yourself' or 'you know it's the only way out'. Could this be a sign of bipolar disorder? I'm seeing a counsellor and they think it's a voice if given my thoughts but it's gotten extremely intense in the past few days and I'm concerned. These 'episodes' last anywhere from 2 days to a week. I made another post and had a few comments saying it could be schizophrenia or something, but I forgot to mention the massive mood swings.", "post_id": "58shvu"}, {"question": "It\u2019s not usually reveled to minors when part of an IEP. I had mine done as a kid because I did exceedingly well in topics I enjoyed and below average in topics I didn\u2019t. So they wanted to assess me for a learning disability. Turns out I just had a hard time paying attention and focusing on certain topics. \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "eo778z"}, {"question": "You should be evaluated for Marfans and Vascular EDS. NAD but I have significant family history of AAA.", "comment": "I'm a 25 year old caucasian female. height: 170 cm weight: 53 kg.\n\nRecently my mom learnt that she has ascending aortic aneurysm (45 mm). After reading about aortic aneurysms I found that they are linked with marfan and I noticed that I have a lot of features of it. I'm trying to decide if it's worth getting genetic testing. Here is my features and my family history.\n\nMe:\n\nI'm skinny-ish, especially in my arms. I have a long narrow face. I have high myopia (-4.75 right and -5.00 left) and lattice degeneration in my left eye. No problems with lens. I have mild scoliosis (18 degrees). I have minimal pectus carinatum type 2 (chondromanubrial) but my doctor wasn't confident about it. He said since it's not exaggerated he can't say for sure it is outside of the normal range of shape variation. I have \"flexible flatfoot\" (I think that's what the doctor said). My elbows extend beyond 180 degrees. I am positive for the bending pinky sign and wrapping wrist sign and the thumb-touching-inner arm. I am also positive for the thumb-extends-out-of-closed fist thing if I pull my thumb. My arm span-to-height ratio isn't in marfan ranges (arm span:166 cm, height: 170 cm). I have been wrestling and boxing for more than seven years and never suffered dislocation injuries. No heart problems. \n\nMy mom:\n\nShe is 49 years old and obese (h: 160 cm w: 79 kg). She has bicuspid aorta valve (since birth) and high blood pressure. Bicuspid valve is present in one of her relatives as well. She doesn't have any other feature of marfan than aortic aneurysm.  One of her sisters though has the same chest anomaly that I do. No serious complications related to marfan appeared in her family.\n\nMy dad:\n\nHe is 50 years old and obese (h: 181 cm w: 102 kg) but he used to be skinny when young. Even though he is obese now he has very thin wrists. He has the same flexible flatfoot as me. He has a long face. He says he used to be very flexible when he was young, and dislocated some joints playing football. His arm span/height ratio is normal. High degree myopia runs in his family (greater than -5.00) and one of his brothers had a detached retina (after getting kicked in the eye by a baby). No heart problems or serious complications related to marfan in his family. \n\nSorry for the long post. If you need to know anything else I can provide it.", "post_id": "buzdvl"}, {"question": "Do you have a good relationship with your boss? You might be able to bring it up with him/her.", "comment": "There is a guy who I work with who calls me and tells me to do things for him. It's not a problem to do the things he's needing me to do because it's my job. The problem is the way he's saying it. We're coworkers on the same level, and he just rudely orders me to do stuff instead of asking me, saying things like \"You're gonna\" instead of \"will you.\" That may sound petty on my part, but sometimes when I'm really busy and he's doing this constantly it can get very tiresome. It seems like he's one of these really insecure alpha-males who has to get in a dick-waving contest with every other guy he meets. I've told him before that I usually respond better to people asking me nicely if they'd like me to do something as opposed to telling me to do it, but he's still doing it. Should I just quit being a baby and deal with it or talk to him again?", "post_id": "1cbqz4"}, {"question": "Yeah I think we all want to see the report in its entirety before we comment.\n\nPS. Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) isnt an SSRI, but an SNRI (but that's beside the point).", "comment": "Hi, am mentioned above, it's been found that I have brain inflammation and a benign brain tumour. \n\nMy doctor struggles with my language so I felt like I couldn't get some necessary information out of him. I still really like him though, because he sincerely cares and really stays on top of things regarding my health which is rare in my city when you're a poor student who can't pay out of pocket. \n\nI got the scans done because I have been withdrawing off of an SSRI (anti-depressant) with the brand name 'pristiq'. This drug messed me up pretty hard after being on 150mg for 6 months. I felt I'd fallen into a sort of hyper depression and was suffering from headaches and general acheyness. Withdrawing off of it hasn't been much better either- I feel pretty crazy most of the time. \n\nAnyway, are these brain issues something I need to keep track of for the rest of my life? I've been told I have to get scans bi-yearly from here on out. What are the worst case scenarios and the more likely scenarios? Are there any healthy habits I can pick up to help?\n\nWhat can I expect in terms of side-effects. \n\nI know I might be freaking out unnecessarily, but anything to do with the brain feels scary...", "post_id": "6sdbue"}, {"question": "I [made a list](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/best-social-skills-books). Hope that helps!", "comment": "Curious if there are some self improvement books worth checking out that can help me with social situations and conversation.", "post_id": "ynehz"}, {"question": "ECT would not cause a false positive, and ECT also does not appear to have an association with increased risk of strokes ([Rozing et al, 2019](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30106358)).\n\nA small stroke is what it sounds like: a small area of brain that has died because of lack of oxygen. An MRI can tell new strokes from old ones, but it's not really possible to know whether this happened last year or a decade ago. \"Small\" isn't really meaningful either. The exact location and, to some degree, the exact size can be helpful, but even that isn't the whole story.\n\nSome small strokes can be, or at least seem, asymptomatic. Other times they can produce vague and subtle problems like mild difficulty with memory. The exact details here would require discussion with the doctors involved.", "comment": "She doesn't have any stroke like symptoms. She had the MRI because she has, for years now, had issues with remembering things.  \n\nSo naturally it caught us all off guard when the results came back \"small stroke\".  \n\nCould the ECT have caused a sort of \"false positive\" and maybe shown as a stroke on the MRI? \n\nIf not, what exactly is a \"small stroke\"?", "post_id": "bskxb5"}, {"question": "Nearly every day I ask my husband to stand at the bottom of our very small staircase and catch me when I jump. Every day he tells me no, you\u2019ll hurt yourself and I say no I won\u2019t, because you\u2019ll catch me! The other day, for some reason, he said yes. I jumped, he caught me, and my knee came up and slammed into the bannister. I now have  a massive bruise which formed basically instantly because I hit it so hard. \n\nGuess he was right. ", "comment": "Me: whimpering on the ground because my knee really hurts from bumping it into my coffee table\n\nMy bf: laughing\n\nMe: yelling at my dog to stop licking my face while still on the ground\n\nMy bf: \u201cI totally saw that coming because you were walking, then heard the words \u2018women\u2019 and \u2018diversity\u2019 on tv and looked up, so you bumped your knee really hard at the same time.. ok but are you ok\u201d\n\nI\u2019m fine \ud83d\ude0a\n\nAdditionally, I bumped my knee into my file cabinet at work last week and ripped a hole in my new pants when I went to my coworkers desk to water his bonsai tree. I feel so sad for my pants.\n\nTl;dr: I get distracted easily or I\u2019m not paying attention and I hurt myself... often. My poor knees. ", "post_id": "abebpy"}, {"question": "https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pilonidal-sinus/", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gq8b4d"}, {"question": "World of Warcraft. Yeah. I'm that guy. I love changing my characters and most of them suck because I don't spend the time getting them good cause I get bored with them.", "comment": "Hi All!\n\nI've been reading posts here for a long time and find just so many posts here relatable but am unsure if I would qualify for ADD or not but plan on getting a referral to a psychologist soon (been planning to that for years but soon!) . Bit scared of going if I'm honest :) \n\nJust curious how many of you are gamers and what type of gamer you are? I find I can spend hours and hours gaming but I alternate what I am doing constantly, swapping characters or plans or games and infuriating all my friends!", "post_id": "c1miao"}, {"question": "This varies by region and program. \n\nI had about 1500 supervised hours as a practicum student with 150ish hours of supervision.  My internship was 2000 hours , with 1 hour of group sup every week , 2 hours of didactics and 2 hours of individual sup. Then,  2000 hours of post doc with 2 hours of sup a week.", "comment": "I'm really think that much of the training a mental health professional does is shrouded in mystery and that this lack of information is really harmful to clients.  Specifically, I would like to know what were your supervised hours like.\n\nHow many hours of supervised hours did you need to complete to get your license?\nWhat was the supervision like?\nHow much did you meet with your supervising clinician?\nWhat did you talk about?  How much did you talk about each client?  Was it like 5 minutes per person per week?  More?  How an active of a role did the supervisor take in each case?\n\nI realize that it might be different for those of you who were working with serious cases in clinics or hospitals.  But I'm specifically interested in those who worked at an average private practice.", "post_id": "hqi0z3"}, {"question": "Why is it a problem?", "comment": "I'm 15, and when i try to sneeze i get the feeling but it won't come out. can anyone help me? ", "post_id": "5w3g5e"}, {"question": "Very insightful. LSD produces this mindspace. \n\n\"Nothing to get hung about...\"", "comment": "How awesome would it be if we all could think like a 2 year old? Just float around all day without a care in the world and have the ability to just \"let go\" of problems so quickly!\nI think we could all learn how to become better adults by thinking more like our young children as crazy as that may seem.\n\nOur daughter, Annabelle (just like most 2 year olds) can fall flat on her face, while playing around, cry for 5 minutes and then spring right back into whatever it was that she got hurt from in the first place. It's incredible how quickly toddlers can just move forward like this.\n\nEver see a 2 year old holding onto a grudge for longer than a few hours at most? Nope, they become upset, sometimes throw a fit and then it's over. Let's go play.\n\nWe all once felt and acted this same way. I believe that somewhere between the ages of 2 and 21, we learn to think and feel more like \"an adult\". Is that a good thing?\n\nI don't believe so. That's why I aim to let our daughter stay a child as long as possible and as she does start learning about all these new emotions and 'ways of life', I hope to help her retain as much of her creative, toddler mentality as possible!", "post_id": "7at4fs"}, {"question": "people don't stick to things either because they have ADD or a mental illness, or they have an unrealistic expectation of success and excellence.  even people who have a tremendous passion, still have to 'grind it out'. so.... the passion is exciting, but the getting there can be laborious and even boring.  think of a great musician practicing repetitive phrases for hours on end. or a famous ballplayer practicing one tiny component endlessly. or a great scientist doing tedious repetitive experiments.", "comment": "Hello fellow redditors!\n\n\nForgive me if the title is a tad bit, well, let's say \"sensational\" but I hope to find some serious and very specific advice, catered to my self (That's really selfish, I know)\n\n\n**To get to the point:**\nI want to find and do something in life which makes me forget to sleep or eat. Something I can't stop thinking about no matter what happens. Something I will be obsessed about till the very end and not neglect it one month down the line. I want to find something I can work my ass off for. Something I am willing to give up \"leisure time\" for, cause I won't need it anymore when I find it. \n**How can I find my final obsession?**\n\n\nI have always been a person who can never stick with one specific thing for too long. I'd find something new and make it the focus point of my life but only for about 2 months or so, then I'd move on and find the next new thing (Kinda ironic, huh? Whatever result this thread will bring, if any, will probably end up the same, though I'm really hoping for SOMETHING, but then again, maybe I'm just insane by trying the same thing once again but I want to finally break this vicious circle). \n\n\nYou could say that I'm kinda driven by novelty, though I don't know how to use that to my advantage in my professional life.\nIt, of course, has it's perks, but I don't think that I am utilizing them very well atm.\n\n\nAlso I don't really know how to structure this post, so bear with me :(\n\n\nIf it means anything I'm still pretty young (soon to be 22) am currently studying at a university (though I'm not rly happy with what I'm doing there). I just want something to change. Fk it. I want to achieve something for myself, something I can feel proud of (and I don't mean something worthless degree I can wipe my ass with, things like these don't mean a thing to me. Knowledge + achievement beats a piece of paper any time of day).\n\n\nI know it isn't very realistic to expect someone to find something like that for me, especially without even knowing me, so if you can't give me advice on finding such a miraculous thing, tell me what my best course of action could be if such a thing does not exist.\n\n\n*Additional notes after writing this whole thing:*\nIf I'd rationally try to deconstruct this post for myself the advice I would give myself would be to \"accept that I can't just do one thing and that this is one of my strengths\n\n\nI appreciate every single one of you trying to help this stupid, selfish boy, you are a gift to this earth (and despite my language in this post I'm actually quite a confident person, so don't worry about it)\nThank you very much!", "post_id": "5z8odm"}, {"question": "Milk doesn't reduce blood pressure. Diets containing milk have a correlation with reduced blood pressure, but correlation is not causation and there are many confounding variables.\n\nIn any case, calcium channel blockers work by preventing calcium ions from entering smooth muscle cells in the heart blood vessels. Consuming food or drinks with calcium puts calcium in your gut and eventually in your bloodstream, but the extracellular amount (in your blood) is not what matters; it's the amount that goes from extracellular to intracellular that makes a difference, and that's what calcium channel blockers alter.\n\nAlso, even the extracellular calcium level is highly regulated. Even drinking a lot of milk won't dramatically raise blood calcium levels, which is a very good thing for the safety of milk drinkers.", "comment": "Age: 24, weight: 210, height: 6'1.\n\nIf calcium channel blockers lower BP by preventing calcium from entering heart cells and blood vessels, how come milk reduces BP if it gives you a lot of calcium? I drink a lot of almond milk but my BP stays around 130-150 systolic and 90-110 diastolic...Exercise 5-7 days a week. Changing up my diet to literally try and consume no salt to see if that helps.\n\nJust checked BP now its at 133/77", "post_id": "9p3kh2"}, {"question": "Alcohol has, on many people, negative physical and mental effects. The amounts you describe certainly are above the recommended daily intake levels in many countries (recommendations differ per region).\n\nIn your case, I'd be most worried about the negative effects on sleep quality and consequently risk of inducing mood instability given you have bipolar disorder. \n\nAlso, as you probably know, alcohol isn't known for its beneficial effects on feeling bad (long term).\n\nMy advice would be to ask yourself what your long term goals are and whether wine is helpful or not in that regard.\n\nI personally expect the right therapist can help you, but I understand motivation/expectations can be an issue if you've had some negative experiences in this regard.", "comment": "30 year old male who has no happiness in life; anxiety, depression, OCD, Bipolar, Asperger\u2019s syndrome that makes me super sensitive to sound etc....\n\nWhat would be the long term effects of not exercising from Friday to Sunday and drinking .55 liters of Pinot Noir every F/S/SU until I die?\n\nIs it really as bad as my friend makes it out to be e.g. permanently damaging my liver, brain, and body? I take quite a different stance as I believe in neurogenesis and that stress is worse than alcohol. I have a lot of stress, even from past trauma: the alcohol stops me from thinking about it. No therapist as yet has been able to help. I believe in logotherapy, but most therapists don\u2019t do that because they\u2019d rather just bleed you dry than give you a cure.", "post_id": "f7zlkc"}, {"question": "I always get a kick out of percentages. No idea where they get their numbers from. Nobody knows the actual percentages", "comment": "If so, I'm certainly glad to be part of the 5%!", "post_id": "d8uy9h"}, {"question": "go to marriage counseling please", "comment": "I am a 38yo man and my wife is 37yo and we have been together over 10 years now. I work a job that is 4 weeks away and 4 weeks at home which is great because it means 4 solid weeks of interuppted family time when I come home, especially with our 2 kids.\n\nThe past year though my wife has become stand-offish and our love life has become non existant, and no matter how often I try to initiate anything or talk about it, she gets defensive.  \n\nShe says nothing is wrong and for me not to worry about anything, but we end up at the same point again and this conversation just recycles itself.\n\nI try to communicate to her and ask her what she wants but get shut down time and time again which us so frustrating.\n\nI'm at a loss now and need some outside advice.\n\nAny suggestiona please?", "post_id": "6do4aa"}, {"question": "Try therapy", "comment": "I'm a 20 year old male, and everyday of my life I wake up with my heart going the speed of light for no particular reason. I have taken Xanax, cymbalta and a few others. I just want to get away from these and live a day, without having to drug myself up to get through  it. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know, I am tired of living like this. ", "post_id": "xasj1"}, {"question": "Hey there, I'm listening. Where are you located, if you don't mind me asking? ", "comment": "My husband and I have no money to spend on mental healthcare for my suicidal ideation, hell we barely have enough to feed ourselves, mostly because my depression/anxiety disorder/paranoia is too deep for me to keep from being fired.\n\nI have tried free hotlines and chatlines, but they are always 'down' or 'out of service'.\n\nI am off my medication by choice because my husband wants children. \n\nThis will be my fourth suicide attempt, previous ones were stopped because of emergency intervention because we had healthcare. This time we do not and I am not sure how to help myself.\n\nI am sorry if this is rambling, I am sorry if you feel this is inappropriate or that my post is worthless, I am only writing this because I have no one else.", "post_id": "28nitv"}, {"question": "Online dating sites are great because never before in human history have men and women been able to talk to so many prospective suitors from the convenience of their home. It's a huge statistical advantage compared to past generations. The key word here is 'statistical'.  It doesn't matter how many jerks message you online. [There are jerks everywhere as you know.] Because it only takes one good person to make your life better. Just stay with the process, go slow, be safe, and always meet the first time for coffee in the DAYTIME.   meetup.com for social/recreational activity is good too.", "comment": "I'm 25 and single. I have a full time job and am often busy, but I'd really like to meet someone. I haven't been on a date in a long time. I live in an area where there isn't much to do. I do not like bars. So I've began to consider meeting someone online. \n\nI've tried in the past and had some things happen.\n\nTinder IS a hookup app. Even though I stated in my bio that I was looking for casual dating, and even though I warned all new matches that I was not there for sex....everyone really only wanted sex. So no Tinder. \n\nI then tried OKCupid. \nOn OKCupid, I got a lot of messages from guys who didn't seem like people I would or should match with. If I did respond but there was no connection, I was accused of leading them on. If I didn't respond they'd become irate.  I got a lot of rude messages, and also a lot of nice ones and even went on a date with a friendly guy, but the negativity ended up outweighing the positive aspects.  I wasn't sure what to do and left OKC.\n\nAre paid services better? Should I just try again and ignore the yelling? Should I not even bother going the online route?", "post_id": "6my69v"}, {"question": "for me i have to question every thought and feeling and most ofthe time, my initial thought or feeling is wrong in some way. i mean not wrong, but the consequences of those thoughts or feelings tends to breed more negativity for myself and others. so i try to let it all go. the best thing is you discover you really are in control of your emotions, maybe not how you feel them but what you can do with them", "comment": "Having BPD confuses me 24/7. I am just constantly confused about my feelings towards everything. I don't know if the \"amount\" of my sad, irritated, frustrated, or angry feelings are normal or over the top. I know we all feel things on a much more intense level, but what if sometimes it's the same with someone WITHOUT BPD? How am I supposed to know what's the usual or healthy amount of negativity that balanced/mindful people feel towards something?\n\n\nHere's the thing. I've recently learned not to show aggression or hostility towards others, so no one would really be able to tell how I'm feeling. I don't lash out or express my sadness (kind of raised to not show negative emotions too). However, behavioral reaction or not, feelings can still be irrational. \n\n\nHere's an example of what I mean:  Maybe someone you know and like isn't treating you so kindly. Maybe they're just fine but YOU don't think they are treating you well and YOU are being the irrational one. How do you know if you are just being too sensitive or if they are actually in the wrong???\n\n\nI also often get lost in my own thoughts a lot. This is what it truly must feel like to have a personality disorder. I don't know who my consistent self is and although people see me as normal on the outside, my mind is so jumbled that I just spend too much time doing nothing.\n\n\nedit: Thank you all so much for your responses! To those of you going through the same thing, I hope that eventually we can achieve some sort of consistency and grasp on the way we feel about things. To those that offered support and/or advice, I appreciate it so much and am thankful. =)", "post_id": "2is20b"}, {"question": "I usually put them on a higher surface that I can stand behind them. I put a towel over their back and start wrapping/holding just above the front legs on the chest. This way they can still stand if they are uncomfortable with being held off their feet. I can then hold the towel in place with my arm while I hold the chin/face with that hand and other hand gently cleans. If you have someone to help even better. Give treats and cuddles during. Or use that wet food treat to distract as well.", "comment": "I need to clean my cat\u2019s ears but, of course, she wont have it. \n\nI\u2019ve tried associating it with treats, I\u2019ve tried giving her catnip to help her relax while I do it, nothing is making it easier. \n\nI cant even bundle her because she wont lay down long enough to do it correctly and she always ends getting out before i get to the first ear! If I could just figure out how to bundle her without her laying down i feel like I could finally handle this", "post_id": "hslkel"}, {"question": "Just wanted to say thanks again to all of you for the info and kindness. I\u2019m realizing that there\u2019s going to be a pretty steep learning curve as I re-enter society bit by bit. I retried the whole hotel stay thing again yesterday because I was worried it would become a big thing in my head and I\u2019d never do it again. I went to a chain hotel and called ahead - completely different experience, everyone was kind and helpful. Kindness makes such a humongous different in these situations, huh?", "comment": "Hi all,\nI\u2019m hoping it\u2019s ok to ask these questions here. Short background: I have a moderate physical disability that makes using stairs painful, exhausting, and at times impossible. I reserved a room at hotel after seeing some rooms labeled \u201csecond floor\u201d on the website, and others without label. I maybe stupidly assumed the non-labeled rooms were first floor. It turned out to be a second floor room and there was no elevator. i returned to the check in area when I realized this to request a refund, but no one was there and no one returned for 45 minutes. I left after 45 minutes, leaving a VM on the hotel\u2019s phone # and also sending them and email. In both, I explained the situation and why I left, and requested a refund since I couldn\u2019t access the room. They emailed back about 12 hours later and denied my request. Should I push back? Are they required to note that a room is entirely handicap inaccessible (second floor, no elevator) in advertising or during booking? Are they just kind of assholes but within their legal rights? What would you do? \nI am somewhat newly disabled and have never encountered anything like this.", "post_id": "caf6f5"}, {"question": "He knows he has to get himself together before he's capable of being in a rel.", "comment": "Hi, my boyfriend well ex has been on drugs since he was 13 now he is about to be 20. Whenever I started dating him two years ago he stopped doing them and now after two years he broke up with me and said he does still love me but can't be in a relationship because he doesn't know who he is and he needs time to find himself. He says he doesn't know if we will ever get back together and doesn't want to give me false hopes. He says he doesn't want talk about his feelings and he'll be fine but he tells me this in almost in tears. We have hugged and kissed since then but are still broken up. I don't know what to do. I want to wait for him and give his space until he's ready but I don't know if it's the right thing to do.. the way sometimes he describes himself I sometimes feel he's depressed (he has been before when he was younger and before I met him). Help", "post_id": "6x4chu"}, {"question": "It's your life. If she was TRULY SPECIAL, nothing else would matter. Perhaps it's you that disapproves....\n\nThese situations are painful because on a person to person level you know there's a nice chemistry. But there are some tangible realities that don't sit right with you.", "comment": "i met this girl who is an immigrant and doesn't speak english 100% but she is good enough that we could have conversations. we stopped seeing each other around memorial day and then ended up getting back together in june for a couple of months, and then she broke it off at the end of july again. this week we have been texting a lot and she asked me to come over last night. i said no because we will just hurt each other again. \n\nsome of the backstory... she came from a very poor central asian country and her ability to support herself and her family back home after coming here with nothing is so impressive. the problem, and why i could never commit 100% to her even though i wanted to, is that she is currently working as a stripper. it has been such a burden in my mind that that is the reason why. but i could never bring myself to introduce her to my family because i know they wouldn't approve. \n\nnot sure what the point of this post/rant is. i'm just sitting here alone in my apartment crying about how i have lost a girl from my life who i truly love because of fear of my family rejecting her. ", "post_id": "6wcijo"}, {"question": "Your therapist is ethically bound to demonstrate you are making progress and if not, what steps are being taken to support you. After a suicide attempt (whether your intent was to die or not what you did is still classified as an attempt) it appears that your current treatment plan isn\u2019t enough to support you. Your therapist could be fined or lose their license for *not*taking these steps. DBT Groups are wonderful ways to add skills while you continue to work with your individual therapist. Good luck to you!", "comment": "So around a month ago I overdosed, NOT to die or to hurt myself, but just because I was having a meltdown and felt I needed to be hospitalized. I took myself to the ER and didnt end up getting hospitalized. \n\nSince that happened, my therapist insists that I need a higher level of care and is making me do a dbt group. If I dont do that group, I am not allowed to see him anymore. \nI dont feel the group is best for me, because group settings upset me so so much, I always end up having a meltdown, and I feel like it would do more harm than good. Despite this I would still be will to do a group only if I could keep it separate and not have the therapists talk - but that is not an option. \n\nIm pretty frustrated because I feel like he is only forcing me into this group in cover his ass in case I hurt myself - which I am not going to. Im doing better than I ever have. I have no suicidal thoughts, Im enrolled in school for the first time in a long time, I have a job, I volunteer, all that good stuff. Im trying to get him to compromise with me, but he will not budge. I understand his perspective, but I feel like he doesnt 100% understand mine (I can go into detail of why I dont want this group if anyone wants). As as therapist what would you do in this situation? \n\nIve been seeing him for a year, hes really the only person in my life that I can trust and talk to. Just the thought of getting a new therapist upsets me.", "post_id": "c5yc6p"}, {"question": "move on. she doesn't want what you want.", "comment": "I have always wanted to start a family and have kids, and am actively looking for someone who wants the same. It\u2019s proven hard for me to meet women in the city where I live and I have not been successful in attracting women to me in the last 2 years I\u2019ve lived here. \n\nWe\u2019re both in our early 30s. We\u2019ve dated for a couple of months and I have developed feelings for her during this time which she knows about. She keeps saying that she likes me a lot, is looking for a LTR, and wants to have kids soon, but needs more time to decide whether we can be a couple or not. I have a busy schedule, but would like to spend more time with her (at least 2-3 evenings per week) so that we can get to the point in 4-5 months where we know whether we are ready for long term commitment to each other or not. \n\nBut there are several things about her that make me concerned that I may be being juvenile in thinking that a LTR with her is a possibility:\n\n1.\tHappy Hours: She works for a tech company and goes to different Happy Hour events in the city at least 2-3 evenings every week with different male friends. She drinks more than I would consider appropriate for weekday evenings. She prefers going to these Happy Hour events usually alone with one of her 3 male friends who work in the same industry at other companies, and I am somewhat suspicious of the nature of their relationships. I\u2019ve seen one of them hold her around her shoulder while walking her to his car before giving her a ride home and I\u2019ve seen her hold his hands once another time. When I brought it up with her, she said she doesn\u2019t remember holding hands with him and maybe he held her around her shoulder because she \u201creally needed to be held\u201d at that time. I have multiple female friends, but we always hang out in groups, and we are not physically close with each other the same way she is with her male friends.\n\n2.\tSalsa friend: She goes salsa dancing 2-3 nights every week with another male friend. She seemed unwilling to bring me along the 2 times I\u2019ve wanted to go with her when she was going out with him. She talk about this Salsa friend a lot and her eyes light up and dilate every time she talks about him \u2013 \u201che was so nice to drive 80 extra miles just to give me a ride home at 3AM\u201d \u201chis moves are so smooth on the dance floor\u201d.\n3.\tPlans for next week: \u201cI am hanging out with my salsa friend on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. I am going to a Happy Hour with Guy friend 1 on Tuesday, and with Guy friend 2 on Thursday. I am going to the beach with Guy friend 3 on Sunday afternoon and for dinner in the evening. I am going hiking with my Girl friend 1 on Saturday. Do you want to meet up Saturday evening for dinner and may be stay over at my place for the night?\u201d \n\n4.\tBusy on phone: All of her friends text/FB message her all the time. They text back and forth all day, including late at night while she is staying over at my place, and while we are on our dates on weekend evenings. When I text her, she takes 1-8 hours to respond. But she is far more responsive with her other friends.\n\n5.\tSecretive: She guards her phone closely when I am around and seems to get nervous if I reach anywhere near her phone. She has told me a couple of times that she hung out with her Girl friend 1 last evening, but I later found out from her roommate that she actually hung out with one of her guy friends.\n\nI feel that her lifestyle does not allow me to spend enough time with her and to explore the possibility of a LTR. Also, her heavy drinking and spending too much time alone with multiple male friends bother me. In my view, this lifestyle would have been totally OK for someone in her 20s, but not for someone in her early 30s who wants 3 kids within the next 3 years. \n\nSince finding someone who\u2019s ready for a LTR is a priority for me, I am thinking of distancing myself from her. Should I try to give this relationship more time, or just move on and find someone who\u2019ll value me more than she does?\n\nTL;DR - 31M searching for LTR currently hung up on a 30F who seems only mildly interested and not compatible because of her lifestyle. Also appears to be dating multiple people. Should try giving this relationship more time, or just move on and try finding someone else?\n\nX-POST from /r/dating_advice", "post_id": "6pkc8d"}, {"question": "Do you know which mental health hospital you would like to go to?  If so, do they have transportation/ know of transportation?  Do you have a hotline in the UK where you can call just to talk to someone?  I know this is a lot of questions but, depending on how it works in the UK perhaps your insurance will cover some therapy sessions?  Hang in there. ", "comment": "I live alone in the UK. I don't know what to do. My anxiety has got to the point I can barely leave my bed. I'm lonely and can't even begin to think about getting therapy, and don't have the money for private services.\n\nI feel it's time to go to a mental health hospital, but I don't know what to do. Do I call an ambulance?", "post_id": "2sbbz8"}, {"question": "The pain of the buildup is often 10x worse than the pain of the rejection. Great job!", "comment": "And I feel amazing. Seriously cannot believe i mustered up the courage to ask a woman out. Thought this would feel way worse. Im not scared anymore. I will no longer spend time wondering \"what if i did ask her out\" and I can move on. \n\nFuck you anxiety ", "post_id": "6dbno3"}, {"question": "zero contact. the way alcoholics have zero sips.", "comment": "This guy and I broke up about 2 months ago. We broke up because of my lack of trust towards him. He stated that I pushed him away. I had doubt because he would go on trips and do activities without me, he never posted pictures of us. I felt like I was a secret. I work a lot so I have a limited amount of free time. I felt like it was easy for him to see other people and easily go on these trips with those other people. I broke it off with him finally because I couldn't get rid of my suspicions and he really didn't do much to reassure me, which is what I desired. I reached out to him this last week, and I was so disappointed. I lied to myself saying I was reaching out because I wanted to be just friends, truth way I was expecting him to declare how much he missed me, but he didn't. It hurts. He's messaged me every day, but it's like \"what are you doing\" or \"I'm going with friends\" . I feel they're pity messages and I feel embarrassed for reaching out. Help. ", "post_id": "6hs3kl"}, {"question": "Therapist here.  Disclosure:  I'm a cis white heterosexual male.... so yeah all the privilege in the world but I think I may be able to help give you some insight on some aspects here.\n\n\nFeeling comfortable in the therapy setting is one of the most important aspects of whether it's going to be helpful or not.  Having to work through some of your anxiety regarding being accepted by someone who isn't a person of color and may be cis-het may be really helpful to you, so long as they're actually a good therapist and culturally competent.  If they are, it could be really transformative for you.  If they're not (and trust me, plenty of therapists out there lacking cultural competence, especially around LGBTQ+ issues) it could be harmful.    \n\n\nThat being said, maybe you don't want to work through that stuff right now because you have bigger fish to fry and that's completely okay.  Any agency worth their salt looks to find therapists who are representative of the population they serve as plenty of folks feel more comfortable with someone they at least perceived of having a similar or shared experience.  \n\n\nAs a potential client, you get to decide what you're looking for in a therapist as far as demographics go.  You don't necessarily get to decide if you go to a larger agency and get assigned something different despite your stating your preferences, but you do have the freedom to say \"Alright, I'm gonna find somewhere else then.\"\n\n\nI work at an agency that exclusively serves the LGBTQ+ population in my area.  I have a ton of experience and passion for working with LGBTQ+ folks.  Many don't want to work with me or are apprehensive given my demographics.  That's understandable, but for those that have given it a shot, I'd like to think we've done incredible work together.  \n\n\nTo answer your restated question:\n\n\nRace (or any demographic differences between client and therapist) has as much influence on a person's experience in therapy as both they decide to make it and their therapist's level of multi-cultural competency.", "comment": "So I've recently decided, with support from my wife who has been successfully utilizing therapy for years, to find and see a therapist, but I'm finding myself in a tough spot. I am a young black (mixed) queer non-Christian man in a smaller Southern city, and I have some (possibly unfounded) anxiousness at the idea of sitting in a room with a white person and being vulnerable. \n\nI should state that my wife is white, so I don't have any overt prejudice against white people nor against Christians, but if therapy is, as I understand it to be, a place for me to safely explore my feelings with some guidance, I would like to avoid the feeling of an impassable lack of understanding in trying to convey the pressure of being a brown face in predominately white spaces to, for instance, an older Christian white woman, which seems to be the majority of therapists in my coverage and area. \n\nSo I guess my question is particularly seeking answers from people of color who have experience with therapy, but I would also appreciate positive input from anyone willing to give it.\n\nSo let me restate it simply:   \nDo you find that race heavily influences your experience with therapy and how so? \n\nThank you.", "post_id": "bga3ov"}, {"question": "Yeah it's hard. That's something I wish I could communicate to my ex, I did that often in our relationship when I was uncomfortable. I think it's just dissociation", "comment": "Usually when you feel uncomfortable? \n\nI don\u2019t know why I do this\nI don\u2019t know how to stop it \nIt\u2019s like I just become catatonic when I\u2019m in the presence of my FP because I\u2019m afraid of saying something that might make her feel uncomfortable so then I feel uncomfortable. \nAnd then I spiral down into shame and fear and anxiety. And get lost in my head. And she\u2019s still there... waiting on me to finish the sentence that I\u2019m not sure I can physically force out of my mouth... ", "post_id": "9pftxs"}, {"question": "To clarify, what did you smoke?\n\nYou're not psychotic. But go seek advice from your GP.", "comment": "So basically my story is that im usually a worrisome person. I have anxiety but over the years i've been able to control it tremendously. This past school year i was in a great time in my life. In May i went to a party and drank and smoked. As soon as i smoked i had an awful reaction and had the worst experience of my life. \n\nThe next morning when i woke up i didnt feel 100%. I felt in a daze. Sometimes i felt in a dream. My anxiety was through the roof. I smoked a few times after that and quit on June 25th. I havent smoked since then. The problem is i don't see any change. I think i may be going through physcosis. I feel like im going to go crazy at times. My hearing is weird also. It's not as clear as it was before my experience. My head is heavy all the time it feels like an anxiety headache. I feel the anxiety in my head. I have some derealization from this. Im always tired and always depressed. Always feeling empty and lonely. \n\n\nI want some advice. My parents are so against drugs so i havent told them and dont plan on if so please dont suggest that. They would kill me. I think its finally time for me to see a doctor but im not sure what to say. I'm not sure if meds are a good or bad thing. Someone please help. I want to feel how i felt before this experience. I dont plan on smoking again. I dont feel confident anymore. I want to get better. \n\nAlso forgot to mention that i have bad brain fog. Everything is in a daze and my eyesight feels distorted but i have perfect vision. I was at the eye doctor last week. I want to be able to have a clear mind from now on. ", "post_id": "52px9h"}, {"question": "We can\u2019t be certain without knowing what the drops are and why you used them.\n\nMost medications have expiration dates beyond which they are not guaranteed to be effective. They\u2019re still safe, and usually still effective long past that date as well. The manufacturer just won\u2019t vouch for it.", "comment": "24F, 1 day, 125 pounds, 5'2, white, my eye, diagnosed with anxiety. \n\n​\n\nLast night my eye was bothering me so I used eye drops. Just checked the bottle this morning and they were expired. Is this a problem? my eye feels fine just don't know if this is super bad. ", "post_id": "aph7kc"}, {"question": "let her make a decision first about approaching your friend", "comment": "I told my friend that I liked her and asked if he liked her and he said he liked her only as much as any other girl. I don't know whether to make a move or not and I feel like shit that she is giving all this attention to him.", "post_id": "5kg73a"}, {"question": "You're probably just not ready. ", "comment": "I'm a 19 year old guy and haven't been in a relationship for a good while. I met someone and we've started going out, it's starting to hit me that I can't talk to other girls now and I'm beginning to have second thoughts.. \n\nThis isn't the first time this has happened and I usually just end things. But all that does is make me feel worse because now I'm alone and I did like them. \n\nHow do I get over this?? \n", "post_id": "6q0g28"}, {"question": "can u be more specific about ur concerns?", "comment": "So I have been  dating my girlfriend for just about 3 months now and I guess you can say it's pretty serious.at the beginning of the relationship I was always so ecstatic to see her and just the  thought  of her made me happy. She's a perfect girl smart,funny,beautiful but one day everything kind of changed because I finally questioned if I really want to be with her and if she's actually making me happy and I just have been overthinking everything everyday.whenever I see her I get sad and it really sucks and just need some advice.mind you I live in upstate New York and we started dating in the winter so it's cold/no sunlight so I know that could be a factor please help!!", "post_id": "5wsvkc"}, {"question": "you are overthinking. everyone has a different skill set.just worry about whether he's a wonderful boyfriend.  people put too many things under a microscope. they don't see the forest for the trees if you do that..", "comment": "I've exhausted looking this up on a google search. The first thing that came up was '11 signs your boyfriend is a sociopath' Yeaahhhh I wouldn't go that far. \n\nSo he's honestly almost perfect. Can get grumpy, sometimes extremely negative about shit in his life, WON'T stop making jokes about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING but I care about him a lot and he shows me and tells me how much he cares.\n\nBut theres one thing that I'm super confused about, he will use my words and repeat what I have said to him back to me. For instance, this is a regular occurance at the end of a day\n\n'Goodnight XYZ! Sleep well <3'\n\nand he will reply:\n\n'Goodnight too! And you sleep well also!'\n\nHe will also say reiterate what I said sometimes & try to act reassuring such as:\n\n'I had a good day becuase .... and this happend...'\n\n'Yeah it is great that.... happened'\n\nI'm sure I'm overthinking this but sometimes I feel like he could choose to say something a little original isntead of simply repeating exactly what I've said back. Is this a social thing where he doesn't know what else to say? Or is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear? Its getting a bit frustrating when all I hear is my words played back to me... ", "post_id": "5qkinq"}, {"question": "Titanium dioxide may be a carcinogen if inhaled as nanoparticles. There is no evidence, as far as I'm aware, that it is toxic when ingested.\n\nAs already stated, there's no reason to take a vitamins unless you have a specific nutritional deficiency.", "comment": "I am a 30/M/White in Chicago, 5'4\" 155 lbs with no significant health issues.\n\nI recently started taking a multivitamin that contains titanium dioxide. I have read in some instances it is considered extremely unsafe as it is a carcinogen, while in other instances that is a fallacy. \n\nCan someone help further elaborate?", "post_id": "a4d91m"}, {"question": "I think that you might want to consider treatment for your anxiety and see how your cardiac symptoms are thereafter.", "comment": "I'm a 22yo male, 6' 2\" 160lbs. No known health problems but I do have anxiety, otherwise i'm in seemingly good health.\n\nThis past week I've been experiencing heart palpitations. I guess these are either PACs and/or PVCs. In years past I had similar symtpoms and have gone to the cardiologist twice - once when I was 15 and the other time was when I was 17. I also went to the ER once when I was 20. Each time I made a doctor visit I received normal EKG and echocardiograms (had this done 2 times (at 15 and then at 17yo). I also got a 24-hour holter monitor twice. Everything was normal and the doctor said I just had a few PACs. He said not to worry at all.\n\n\nFast forward a little bit. I have palpitations every now and then and I've taken my doctor's word for it and felt fine with ignoring them. Though, this past week I've been experiencing them very frequently. I have no other symptoms and I've been riding my bike miles per day as usual to go to work. They seem to be somewhat random but at times I have maybe 15 an hour. Sometimes I have a few per minute. They aren't super consistent except that they're consistent throughout the day and I recognize each time I have them. At least a few per hour I'd say, for the past 4 days or so. \n\n\nI have a CityMD urgent care near my apartment and I'm wondering if I should go today before it closes (just moved cities so I don't have a regular doctor yet). It just costs $75 that I don't want to spend knowing that I have major health anxiety and this will probably be nothing. IDK. On the one hand I've had these in the past and everything was fine but I don't ever remember having them so frequently. \n\n\n\nRight now I'm at home and I haven't noticed any palps for a while. Is it necessary to go ASAP or can I just wait this out a little bit and hopefully they'll go away(?) If I had a normal EKG 2 years ago, plus a normal echo about 4 years ago, is this really necessary?? Ultimately I guess I'm scared that I may have developed some structural issue since then.", "post_id": "57j1is"}, {"question": "I would talk to your grandmother first to see if she has made any arrangements for your mother in the event of her passing. Does she have guardianship or power of attorney over your mother? If so, she may have the legal authority to arrange care for your mother. If not, you still have other options. Your mother likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Serious and Persistent Mental Illness (assuming you're in the United States), which opens up many opportunities for support services. Case management, ARMHS, medication management, payee (managing finances), even semi-independent or assisted living can be available to help manage not only her mental illness, but her life in general. She will need a diagnostic assessment from a mental health provider if she has not had one recently (usually in the last year), but they will be able to make appropriate referrals. If your mother has difficulty describing her symptoms and impairments, insist on attending the appointment with her and describe your concerns. She'll have to sign a release of information for you to do so, but it could be well worth it to get the care she needs.\n\nGood luck to you, and please know there are services that can help. Your mother's care does not have to fall solely on you or other family members.  ", "comment": "Preface: I grew up around, but not with my mother until I was about 12 years old. During the 12 years I lived around my mother, I lived with my grandmother. My mom would be in and out of the hospital, or usually out having fun. We did spend some time together though. From 12-18 I had no physical contact with my mom, I lived in a different state, and I was homeless or in fostercare. From 18-22 I went to college in a different state. So from 12-22 years old I rarely saw her, but we communicated every so often on the phone. I moved closer to family after college, my mom doesn't live in this state, but she does visit every few months.\n\nProblem: My mom can't drive, and hasn't tried since she was about 18 years old. My mom has never had a job, and there hasn't been much time in my mom's life that she hasn't lived with my grandmother. My mom still lives with my grandmother to this day. My mom has not planned for the future, and does not do much nowadays other than eat, and sleep. She does not have any money saved up, but she does get government assistance. I am worried about what will happen when my grandmother passes away. I can't spend time with my mom 24/7 like my grandmother does, because I have dreams, and a life of my own. I also am in a career field where I hope to be traveling a lot in the future. Also, part of me feels like I raised myself, and I shouldn't be responsible for my mom for the next 30 years after my grandmother passes. Giving up your adult life is a lot to ask even for someone who was raised by their mom.\n\nI want to talk about my mom all of this, but my uncle has advised me not to. I think this is something she should be aware of in advance, so she has time to plan, and get accustomed to the idea, rather than being hit with my grandmother's death, and the thought of not living with me all at once. My uncle thinks that it won't do anything but make her sad, and she won't plan for the future anyways, and I have to say he is probably right. I'm at a lost for what to do, and I'm feeling real anxiety about it all. My mom is actually pretty smart, and most of the time she is in her right mind. She hasn't had a schizophrenic episode in many years. I'm worried I'll have to give up my life's work to take care of her until she passes, which would kill me inside. I'm hoping reddit can give some advice on this, as I'm lost.\n\nEven now my mother is extremely dependent on me emotionally, and it's going to be exponential once grandmother isn't there. For example she will call me 5 times in a day at times, to talk about nothing in particular, and when I don't answer she calls my GF 10 times in a row. When we are busy and not able to answer she will get sad.\n\ntl;dr: My [24m] schizophrenic mother [48f] has been dependent on my grandmother her whole life, I'm panicking about what will happen when my grandmother passes away.", "post_id": "6kcfi8"}, {"question": "Alcohol impairs judgement the most for those who use it the most.  After a long time of such impairment it takes time for one's power of judgement to become reestablished and this healing is accomplished by being in relationship with people who know you very well.  Because of the shame and secrecy that accompanies addiction, people develop a habit of hiding things about themselves and so don't get the full benefit of relationships with people who have good judgement. This way people in early recovery may choose companions who are unworthy.  Wait until you have developed relationships with people with good judgement and rely on them to help you make important decisions.  Who you choose as a life partner starts as a first date and that decision is one of the most important of your life.", "comment": "Dealing with a breakup. So THIS is why you shouldn't date early in sobriety. Still not drinking and don't have any plans to pick up. Just a reminder that those old sayings are old sayings for a reason. \n\nUPDATE: Wow, thanks for the all of the insights! I should clarify that the breakup is because my SO is moving across the country; we've gotten quite close but she needed to move for work. Maybe that makes it harder.", "post_id": "38nvg7"}, {"question": "Alcohol and/ or other poor coping skills. \n\nReal answer: you cant \"get rid of\" the feelings. If you could, you would have already. Furthermore, no one would ever talk about CBT/ ERP/ ACT/ Mindfulness if you could just \"get rid of\" the feelings. Unfortunately, appropriate cognitive restructuring and ERP is the only way ahemacceptanceahem. Dont kill the messenger...\n\nEdit: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. OCD and anxiety is awful, no fun, and painful. You CAN get through this. You're right, this isnt you, but you have to crawl through it to get away from it, no other way around it. We in r/OCD are here to support you. Try reading the Imp of the Mind. I think you may like it a lot. ", "comment": "Please don't tell me to accept it. I can't and won't live with being someone I don't want to be and something I can't control.\n\n\nI've been have unwanted and uncontrollable (as in I have no choice in the matter) sexual attraction to other females for a few years (1.5-2-3). How can I get rid of theese? They give me anxiety and I don't like it. Please help me. This isn't who I really am and I want it to go away. It's giving me serious anxiety issues.", "post_id": "5jiaub"}, {"question": "So I am a mental health care worker and the other posters are right. There is different levels of training and I've heard some really uninformed and hurtful comments from great professionals when they work with a group of people they don't have a passion for or do not have experience with. The fact is her comments are offensive and dismissive of what the experience is like for someone with schizophrenia day to day and if they are hospitalized. That is an incredibly scary and vulnerable time and describing it as a therapist's burden ignores a client as priority, including their feelings and experience.", "comment": "You would think it would not be that hard to ~actually~ grasp that this is really not okay to say, particularly if you have a masters in psychology. If you have all that schooling and still say and believe these things, how do other people view us? It just kinda sucks and I\u2019m disappointed.", "post_id": "bf2ioo"}, {"question": "I know exactly what you mean! I experience this \"throat nausea\" feeling a lot. I think for me, it's a mix of anxiety and GERD. It really sucks :( Chewing mint gum really helps me when I'm dealing with this!", "comment": "My stomach isn\u2019t the issue. My throat is nauseous if that makes any sense. I don\u2019t want to throw up. I haven\u2019t been around anybody sick, but I just feel sick. Do you think I will throw up? Sorry for the reassurance post. Literally nothing else is wrong, but my my throat is closing it feels like. This has been going on all day. ", "post_id": "77ov54"}, {"question": "2 years ago I went to a weight loss clinic and was on it for about 6 months. I lost close to 40lbs but when I stopped taking it (because of the side effects: jittery/heart palpitations) I gained all that weight back within a year. It worked, but only while I took it because it\u2019s just a stimulant - it didn\u2019t help me change any of my problematic eating behaviors.", "comment": "After failed attempts with Victoza & Metformin, my weight loss doc prescribed phentermine. Originally he was thinking Contrave, but I told him it feels more like my metabolism has stopped dead vs overeating being the reason for hovering around 200lb. However, the fact that phentermine is a stimulant is freaking me out! Has anyone taken it and had a positive experience?", "post_id": "be7q5q"}, {"question": "If you're having recurrent seizures, what makes you say that it is not epilepsy?", "comment": "Hello! I've recently been diagnosed with colpcephaly. My GP can't even pronounce it and I'm being taken to hospital to study for all of next week.\n\nThe only relatives I have that I can ask are either dead or demented beyond asking or not willing to talk about it (mother). I have no idea what I'm meant to do. I was originally diagnosed with fibromyalgia but now after combing the limited info on the internet this makes so much more sense.\n\nI was born 8 weeks premature in 1985 with water in the brain. My parents were told to take photos and say goodbye. That's all I know ... And I've been mostly healthy until 18 months ago when I started having seizures, migranes and general motor issues. It's destroying my life. I can barely work and I can't do anything about disability cos the doctors can't agree what is wrong lol. \n\nSo if anyone knows anything I'd love to hear it! I do not have epilepsy. Beyond that who knows.", "post_id": "8jis28"}, {"question": "I quit smoking pot because I got thirsty for beer when I smoked it and once I started drinking I went out of control. To stop drinking and stay stopped I had to quit pot. It\u2019s been 39 years since I quit  and as far as I can tell I haven\u2019t missed anything.", "comment": "I'm glad this reddit exists, just found it today. Here is my story FWIW\n\nI discovered pot my freshmen year in college. Got high listening to Rush...been a fan ever since. Dont think i would have been a fan without the pot, lol. \n\nSmoked on a regular basis depending on availability between ages 20 and 30. Between 20 and 30 i got married, had a kid, went to lawschool, passed bar and became lawyer. Also had two acute episodes of depression and anxiety and had to go on anti-depressants (each bout was about 6 months on ssri). \n\nDuring this 10 year period, weed was mostly a help, not a hindrance. It helped me cope with lawschool, life demands, long drives, and i took the bar high. It chilled me out which i did need. made me less high strung. As we all know, its a great escape from the drudgery and boredom that is Life. It makes listening to music an euphoric experience and food tastes better. Road trips are so much more fun too. \n\nOf  course, no party lasts forever. Shortly after i began working at my first job as an attorney, I came home and did the usual with my husband-smoke some weed. Had a hard day at work and was looking to unwind.  But for the very first time....i got a panic attack. I thought i was going to die. Heart racing, arms tingling, all the usual shit. \n\nMy weed intake dropped off but i didn't quit. I wouldn't spaz out everytime and it was unpredictable when i would. I recall locking myself in the bathroom and sitting in the bathtub with my then 4 year old banging on the door. Low moment. \n\nI chalked it up to job stress, then bargained with myself that i would only smoke on weekends. That worked...for a while. Then i started getting panic attacks during my weekend smoke time. \n\nThen, i moved to \"just a single hitter\" on the weekend. That was ok, for awhile. Then it wasn't ok. \n\nThe long and short, is that when i was 33, i had mostly quit. Also quit the evening coffee and went down to one cup.  We had the second kid, and my sleep schedule was terrible, my job was terrible and i had been suffering from insomnia and depression. In desperation, i smoked some of my husband's pot in an effort to sleep...and ended up in the parking lot of the emergency room. After that episode, I went on SSRI for a year, and ended up on benzos for 3 years. Haven't smoked since.  Funny enough, when i left that job (after 5.5 years), within 2 weeks i fell alseep without the benzos and have been off them every since...6 years now :)\n\nFor me, the pot stopped being a fun time, an escape, a mood enhancer. It kicked me in the face over and over again. I fondly recall when pot was fun, and its like another lifetime ago. Maybe it will be fun again, who knows, but I'm not willing to try it because the mental angst of those panic attacks were awful. ", "post_id": "8w56uq"}, {"question": "It depends on your understanding with each other.", "comment": "Well I met this guy on a site and we became friends until a moment were we found out we liked eachother I guess. We live in different countries not that far away but far away enough haha. We skype and stuff but is this considered a real relationship? Its currently only been going on for 3 months and of course he's not able to have s*x with me. But is it considered cheating if I slept with other people even though I've never met him. I like him a lot and people are probably thinking like why can you even think about sex with other people if you like him and stuff but I'm just a human with needs like any other person. So putting slutshaming aside I'd just like some answers. I haven't done anything or wanted to do anything it just kind of popped in my head because I've never done this before it's all new to me.\n\nThanks!", "post_id": "6i2li6"}, {"question": "It might be worth it to try to talk about your frustration with a therapist. If you ultimately feel you don\u2019t need it - good for you. But don\u2019t give up. Therapy can be so transformative and amazing. But like any other relationship there are ups and downs and repair work that needs to happen. If live had a ton of therapists you may be missing out on an important aspect of therapy by ending things without trying to work it out. Just an idea though. ", "comment": "I've had enough of therapists after therapist. This last one with the last straw. She had zero memorization skills and we saw each other weekly for a month. I had zero trust in her because of this. I was going for depression and anxiety but, I rather deal with my own issues than deal with some therapist who can't even remember my name. I still see my psychiatrist every few months to talk about my meds. Was it dumb to quit therapy?", "post_id": "7j7hdu"}, {"question": "The reason for the focus on video games specifically is there has been a major upswing in the recent years of individuals experiencing major health problems or life set backs directly related to their addiction to video games.  Research has suggested that video games, especially newer ones (this includes cell phone games as well) are specifically made with the purpose of creating an addiction and brain scans of folks with severe video game addictions are showing similar patterns to those with addictions to hard drugs.\n\n\nYou're right, anyone can become behaviorally addicted to escapist coping skills like tv, reading, table top games, etc.  The key difference right now is that as far as the research goes, those things don't create as severe of a change in brain chemistry the way that video games do.  There also haven't been as many documented cases of death or other major problems that can be directly related to these things in the ways that video games have.  \n\n\nI'm a therapist and I love video games.  I play MOBA's with friends a couple nights a week.  I think video games can be great for teaching things, helping to socialize with people who live far away, but when misused, can cause really severe problems.  This is why they classified this as a disorder.  \n\n\nThe other main practical reason is that more and more people are seeking treatment specifically for video game addiction.  If you want to use your health insurance for treatment, you need to be given a diagnosis related to that treatment.  Classifying this as a disorder helps folks who want to use their insurance for treatment of video game addiction now can and don't have to pay 100's or 1000's of dollars out of pocket.  \n\n\nI'm sorry you had such a rough childhood and it certainly doesn't sound like your parents handled your issues the right way at all.  I wish things would have been better for you, but that doesn't mean because of your experience that this isn't a legitimate problem for many folks.      ", "comment": "WHO recently created a new disease classification, called \"Gaming Disorder.\" You can see their article for it online [here](http://www.who.int/features/qa/gaming-disorder/en/).\n\nI am concerned about this classification, because it appears to me that it was made by people who misunderstand what is actually going on. I am afraid that people will suffer from this misunderstanding, and will not receive the treatment they require to get better. Instead, many people (especially children) could be harmed by this.\n\nI am NOT a medical health professional. However, under this new classification, I would have been diagnosed with this illness several years ago, and I have since overcome this problem. Because of these experiences I have had, I have a very good understanding of why people, especially children, play video games too much. If you want to read about my experiences, please read the CONTEXT section bellow.\n\nFirst off, this illness is focused too much on video games. Yes, video game overuse is a problem, but I think that this illness should also include overuse of other forms of media, including social networks, texting, books, magazines, comics, television, and more. If a person uses ANY form of media to the point that they refuse to participate in life, they should be classified as having this illness. For instance, if a child refuses to go to school, and stays up late reading books, this would be an example of what I am talking about.\n\nSecond off, this illness should be renamed to be something like \"Escape Disorder,\" to show that it is not solely related to video games, and to better explain the cause of this disorder in its name.\n\nA person with this disorder, would be unwilling to participate in life, and instead would spend all of his or her time \"escaping\" through the use of his or her chosen media. The best way to help someone with this disorder, is NOT to take away their chosen media, as this will cause the person to become depressed due to them not having anything to do with their life. Instead, this person should be helped so that he or she can become more willing to participate in real life. If the person is able to participate in real life again, the person will STOP using the media too much. Because of this, I do not consider this an addiction!\n\nCONTEXT:\n\nNOTE: The purpose of this is section is not to spread anger at my family. I love my parents, and they love me. They feel just as terrible about how things happened as I do. We have since grown to understand each other better.\n\nWhen I was a kid, my mother was a doctor and would come home screaming at everyone due to stress. My dad was strict, trying to keep her happy, and in turn got mad at me for stupid things. I was young, and had no idea the things were stupid, and felt guilty/scared all the time. My parents got mad even if I got an A, because it wasn't an A+, saying I'm \"smart enough to do better.\" In school, I was a victim to systematic bullying ingrained in my class, and I was sitting alone every lunch in the corner of the cafeteria. I was very depressed, and my only escape was video games. Despite my good grades, games were taken from me, and I was barely able to play anything besides crap freeware games online or pirated things, because my parents thought I played them too much. Even then, they would get very mad at me if they caught anything on my computer. I was told that cartoons were stupid, and I should be ashamed if I liked them. I was told that pokemon is stupid, and that I was better without it. After my parents noticed me watching cartoons on TV, they blocked all those channels, only leaving me to watch PBS children's cartoons when I was way too old to even care for them in sixth grade. This further separated me from my classmates, as they would talk about the latest cartoons, movies, games, etc, and I would not be able to partake. This was made worse with the fact I have breathing issues, and was never able to compete in sports. When I finally got mental help for my depression and anxiety, my mother required me to let her sit with me in each visit (she would get mad at me later if I didn't), and she would always rant to the therapist about how \"everything I think about is Video Games\" and how evil they are. The doctor would then encourage me to participate in extracurricular activities with my classmates, and to \"make more friends\" at school. I would try these things, fail, and get more depressed. Wasn't until I got a head injury from a bully classmate that almost killed me, that my mother realized her mistake. We are all on good terms now, about 10 years later.\n\nI only got better, when I was given more access media like my classmates. After this, I started my slow recovery, and I eventually overcame my anxiety and depression. When this happened, I stopped playing games as much, because in the end, I would rather spend time doing things in real life than online if its possible.", "post_id": "97ojad"}, {"question": "If you live in the Unites States, there are very strict privacy laws that explicitly bar healthcare providers, including therapists, from disclosing any information without your written approval.\n\nIf your insurance is being billed, they will have a diagnosis, but they also are bound by the privacy laws. ", "comment": "I am in my late 20s and have never sought treatment or counseling for my depression in part because I fear that it will somehow end up on my \"permanent record\" (for lack of a better term) and follow me around for the rest of my life.\n\nWill it?\n\nSpecifically I worry about things like insurance, background checks, ability to get jobs, pilots licence, won't be able to go recreational target shooting, things like that.\n\nWill those kinds of things be affected if I seek treatment?", "post_id": "2en61u"}, {"question": "In my recovery circle I don't hear rock bottom to often. I do hear bottom pretty regularly. Like the article said it's not quantifiable. Just like being an alcoholic isn't quantifiable. ", "comment": "Just an [article](http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/carrie-armstrong/alcoholism-rock-bottom-myth_b_3422261.html) I came across. Thought it would be food for thought for some people around here. ", "post_id": "1gz9xk"}, {"question": "Please don\u2019t give up.  I know exactly how you feel.  Depression is terrible but there is so much good in the world.  Happiness is there, sometimes in surprising places.  ", "comment": "Starting off, I\u2019m a 5\u20192 male. Not strong nor weak. I\u2019ve always wanted to look for the pursuit of happiness. I haven\u2019t been able to achieve that. There\u2019s always either a person or just something in my way. I\u2019m a really nice guy, yet I feel like I get the most crap thrown at me for no reason. Always getting used, always getting laughed at, I just don\u2019t get it. I know I\u2019m not that much of an attractive person, but don\u2019t I at least deserve some sort of respect? I just wanna be happy. I\u2019ve made enemies on the stupidest of reasons in which was not my fault, but hey why not pin them on the helpless guy right? I\u2019ve been rejected numerous times and I can\u2019t take it. There have been times where I have thought deeply about harming and killing myself for a good while until I get put into focus again. I just want love, but now I\u2019m starting to believe love isn\u2019t meant for me. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with me, but I\u2019m guessing there\u2019s something. I just want it all to end. I can\u2019t stay here anymore. I\u2019ve even thought of faking my death and running away. If you\u2019ve read up to here, thank you for taking your time. ", "post_id": "9kvqjk"}, {"question": "This depends 100% on where you live and the license of your therapist. \n\nI could not report this in my jurisdiction,  but some states do require reporting of past abuse , even when the perpetrator is deceased.", "comment": "I just had my first session this week and my therapist asked me if I\u2019ve ever been abused but I was afraid of saying yes. When I was a kid my dad used to beat me. I forgive my dad and he stopped being abusive and angry years ago. I know for a fact he\u2019s not a threat now. The thing is now he has my younger siblings to support and he\u2019s working on getting his citizenship and I don\u2019t want my dad to get into any kind of trouble. But this is something that has affected me mentally my whole life and I feel I might have to bring it up. I wasn\u2019t sure where to ask. Thank you.", "post_id": "hgq4mi"}, {"question": "Simply put, be hardworking and serious.  I'd need to know what type of job you're doing to give more specific advice.  As for general advice, \n\nfor the hardworking part:  Show up early, leave late, finish your tasks on time and ask if there's anything else you can help with.  Don't get caught on your cellphone doing non-related work activities when not on your lunch break.  Limit smoke breaks if you smoke and be very quick about them.  \n\nas for the serious part:  Above all else, be organized.  Put together reports to show your bosses what you've accomplished, what problems you've run into, and what are your plans for the coming week/month.  Do it in a way that looks like you're just stating facts and not trying to brown-nose.  Be friendly but don't be the joker at your job.  Don't complain or gossip about bosses or other employees EVER.  Don't talk in the office or to other employees about your partying way too hard.  Also a good idea not to drink/party with co-workers.  Anything you do/say while at a bar or party with co-workers can and probably will influence how you're perceived in the office even by those who weren't present.  ", "comment": "I am a hard worker! And well spoken and professional. I used to dress casually, which i dont anymore (thinking that was the problem)\nI do get recognized but the general overview of me is that I'm a relaxed person with life handed to him on a silver spoon.\n\nThis has to change!! Its so far from true.\n\n\nits funny because when younger- i loved that people thought that bout me. one of those 'How does he do it'- partied way too hard and still made honors.\n\nso. How do I change this?? how do i make management see me as a more serious employee", "post_id": "8gixsh"}, {"question": "At least for me, not concentrating seems to be a misnomer. I feel like I'm much more likely to concentrate TOO much, even on things that have no utility to the task at hand. \n\nI often feel like I'm standing before a wall of TVs tuned to all different news channels. I'm trying to concentrate on only one of them to get the really important information but my brain keeps slipping and listening to whatever else is going on around me. ", "comment": "I've heard a lot of people say that they can't concentrate because they have so many other thoughts whizzing round in their head.\n\nFor me, it feels like my brain is filled with a fog and I'm very spaced out. My mind drifts off very easily but I don't usually tend to have racing thoughts. I feel almost like the lights are on but no one's home. It feels like the more I try to concentrate on something, the harder it gets. I can stare at a blank screen for hours, getting started seems to be the hardest thing, and the moment I get distracted, I'm back to square one. \n\nI'm not diagnosed with ADHD but am looking into getting an assessment soon. This is the thing that makes me think I *don't* have ADHD because I feel the opposite of what a lot of people say.\n\n\n**TL;DR**: What does not being able to concentrate or focus *feel* like to you? Does anyone else feel like there's almost no thoughts inside of their head instead of having too many racing around?", "post_id": "3cj2tf"}, {"question": "Part of my recovery has been working on developing my identity since ive lived my entire life not knowing who I think I am. I have a few accounts (totally guilty) but I've tried to shy away from them and just use this one. It makes me feel like I'm always the same person and I'm not tempted to try out new sides of myself", "comment": "Er...yeah. So I have multiple accounts so I can vent and no one finds me. I have one that's my main one...and that changes from time to time...(yes, I'm a regular poster here and no, I'm not posting from my main account), I have a couple of alts for when I need to post about people I'm scared are reading what I post...and I even have an alt for use in SOFFA/lovedones where I post as if I were *my* SO so I can see what those people would say about me. In stories I'll change genders/continents/ages/whatever so no one can track me.\n\n\nI know this is ridiculous and I haven't really mentioned it to anyone, but it's something stupid I do.\n\n\nAnyway, I knew someone who was posting here a while ago and I stalked him, but then he quit and I haven't found him since. Except I'm so paranoid that I now imagine he's writing posts I read under his own throwaways and basically doing the same thing I do...man, I'm fucked up.\n\nTell me I'm not the only one??", "post_id": "3hqlh4"}, {"question": "she has no right to your private history", "comment": "After she encountered one of my ex\u2019s profiles online by surprise the other day browsing Facebook for work, my current girlfriend has made a strong request that we go down the list of everyone I\u2019ve ever been sexual with, including a name, photo and location. \n\nIt\u2019s no secret to her that I\u2019ve slept with considerably more people than average, since I\u2019ve already shown her the list in the past of every sexual partner and what I did with them. \n\nShe claims that because she interacts with so many people in her work, she doesn\u2019t want to be caught by surprise and find out she\u2019s interacting with one of my ex partners. Many of my ex\u2019s she regards as super shitty people who contributed to unhealthy choices on my part and took advantage of me. \n\nWhile I understand this desire of hers to not be surprised, my gut reaction to this request is one of anxiety and reservation. I see so many ways that this could backfire and create more tension and insecurity for our relationship.\n\nFor one, I\u2019ve lost contact with some of these women over the years and I don\u2019t think I could find them online even if I tried. As for the ones I can find, I\u2019m worried about my gf becoming insecure based on their photos, or being judgmental about the relationships- several of which I\u2019m deeply ashamed of how I handled myself. \n\nHow can I possibly navigate this situation in a positive way? My girlfriend has been critical and judgmental about my sexual history in the past, and we\u2019ve almost broken up before over how I\u2019ve miscommunicated about my past partners.\n\ntl;dr My girlfriend wants a photo and full name of every one of my sexual partners so she\u2019s not surprised if she runs into them, I don\u2019t have everyones information and I\u2019m fairly confident she\u2019ll be disgusted, upset and left more insecure by this process. What do I do??", "post_id": "6qi7wv"}, {"question": "just focus on yourself. grief takes time.", "comment": "I recently broke up with my girl friend of 2 years. I was the one who broke up with her but I still feel sad a depressed. I broke up because she hurt me a few times and I didn't want it to happen again. She already hooked up with another guy 2 days since the break up. I was wondering what I should do to get her off my mind, should I try a hook up? Or should I just focus on myself for now instead?", "post_id": "5olkb3"}, {"question": "Yeah. I am at one right now, and not feeling it. Doesn't  help it is with my fiance's family, and I don't know or have anything in common with them. Most are 20 years older and here for a relative who died recently, who I also didn't  know. They are drink too, for the most part. Makes me wish I had driven myself so I could say see ya!", "comment": "I usually feel my worst after going to school events, or big parties. ", "post_id": "3jpbmz"}, {"question": "ask her for coffee", "comment": "Hi, Everyone!\nI would really appreciate any advice/help. \nI can no longer talk to my parents so I don't know who else to ask this:\n\n**A bit of background:** I'm in my 2nd year of college (a rising Junior) taking summer classes before the 3rd year begins. I'm not doing particularly well and am having to work really hard for my classes. I have inherited a comfortable financial sum after my parents passed away, which is regulated, monitored, and delivered to me in small usable increments. So I am not in a tough spot, thank goodness. But this also means I haven't had the same quality interactions that would have allowed me to learn some much-needed life skills. \n\n**The situation.** There's this girl who I've talked to pretty much throughout college. Let's call her Anna. Anna and I have been in touch for 2 years (even though there wasn't really be a reason for us to be talking). We weren't particularly good friends (only had minimal interactions in the past 2 years), we don't have the same friend circles, and we don't share the same hobbies. \n\nFreshman year Anna gave me the impression that she was interested in me. But, I couldn't tell if it was her extremely friendly personality that was giving me a false impression me or if she genuinely liked me. I didn't want to complicate things so I just ignored my feelings. I stayed \"friends\" with this girl for 2 years pretty much just talking to her on snap chat on/off. Mostly killing my feeling for Anna using the distance we had given our different fields of study. \n\nNow that I'm back at UNI again Anna was  *EXTREMELY* willing to spend a lot of time with me. She invited herself over one night and I think was expecting me to make a move on her. I didnt^~~becauseimabitch~~ because I didn't want to misinterpret and ruin talking to someone I really like. We also shared some personal details that night. Now she isn't really that interested in talking to me. There is a clear change in the way she speaks/ deals with me. The same energy isn't there. I can't tell if it's because of what I said or because of my inaction. I feel awful because I don't know if I should pursue something and screw up or just squash my emotions and move on. \n\nI feel it's important for you to know that I like her not because she's a gorgeous model (i think she's very pretty but my friends disagree^~~fuckthem~~) but because her energy motivates me to do better. I want to be a better person around her. I like the way she smiles and laughs. In short, it isn't just a physical attraction. \n\nPlease advise me on what to do. \n\nI also have some questions that I would really love advice on: \n1). What would the proper method to pursue something like this be? \n2). What signs should I look for in someone that is interested in me as more than a friend?  \n3). What can I do to show my interest in her again? \n\nThank you everyone! \nPlease help a boi out. ", "post_id": "6o3a1e"}, {"question": "I do this! As hard as it sounds, when I have the negative thought in question I look around and pick five colours that I can see. It doesn't get rid of the feeling but it sometimes distracts me long enough to interrupt the loop for a little while.", "comment": "Because I do, and it's been the cause of some of the worst moments of my life. I will get stuck in a negative idea. It could be a bad memory or a worry about the future. I will think about it obsessively until I'm having an emotional breakdown. I feel like I can't focus on anything else. The thoughts I'm having feel like the only thing that exists. It's in these moments that I've felt suicidal and engaged in self injury. \n\nIt's hard to talk about with people because, honestly, it makes me feel like a crazy person. It's also hard to explain how most of the time I'm not suicidal or extremely depressed. It's just in those moments where I feel like I can't control my thoughts.\n\nYou guys know what I mean?", "post_id": "ayfz81"}, {"question": "Yes, it's a relatively common side effect of SSRIs like Prozac. Some people find that while one causes those issues, another (Zoloft, for example) might not. There are also some women who can take SSRIs only mid-cycle, when symptoms peak. And there are medications that can alleviate the side effects as well. You have plenty of options to get the benefits without the downsides!", "comment": "F 37, 5ft7, 17stone. \n\nI've had horrendous PMS mood swings, irregular periods and anxiety which spiked mid-month and pre-cycle. I'm not ovulating regularly, not on contraception and married no kids. \n\nI have rheumatoid arthritis and severe pain issues so sex drive was pretty low anyway, but since doctor prescribed Prozac 4mths ago it has completely disappeared. The Prozac is helping my other issues but this side effect is new. No desire for sexual contact or masturbation whatsoever. \n\nAlso in the early part of taking the meds when i did have an orgasm it took a long time and felt weaker. \n\nI need to pluck up courage to ask my GP but I can't get an appointment for a few weeks anyway.\n\nI'm interested in whether this is normal, whether there is an alternative treatment for severe PMS mood issues without this side effect or whether there is another treatment or medicine I can take along with Prozac to improve my libido. \n\nI don't want to lose the benefit as my moods and anxiety are better. But this is a pretty awful side effect for me and my husband! \n\nThanks ", "post_id": "9sj2yq"}, {"question": "/r/psychotherapy has a list of people willing to be interviewed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/psychotherapy/wiki/faq", "comment": "Hello all! \n\nI apologize if this is against the rules\nI am a Junior undergraduate studying clinical psychology and social work at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. I am currently enrolled in a Theories of Psychotherapy class, and am asking for some assistance. One of our assignments is to interview a professional in this field about their method of practice, how they run their practice, why they chose that particular model, things like that. If anyone would be willing to do a quick interview that would be great! We could either video chat or message, whatever is easiest/most comfortable. If you would be willing to help me out, please PM me. Thank you again!", "post_id": "fmwn73"}, {"question": "In a word \u201cSpecialization\u201d. I specialize in postpartum issues and charge about $200 per hour.", "comment": "When compared to typical therapists, what are highly skilled/more experienced therapists better at than a typical therapist, say that warrants charging a higher rate $200 as opposed to $100 hourly?", "post_id": "ffosv5"}, {"question": "talk to him about it", "comment": "my boyfriend and i have only been together for six months but i'm worried he's starting to lose interest in me. We're 19 and 18 and freshman in college and have spent the past year living three doors down from each other. He's always on his phone around me but seems very apologetic when i tell him i get upset, overall he just seems less attracted, he wants to have sex less, even turning me down when i tried it, he touches me and kisses me less, and overall seems to leave anytime a friend contacts him to hang out. Am i being dramatic or does he seem to not be interested anymore\n\n\nalso feel like i may not be giving him the credit he deserves. Hes very observant and always notices when i seem upset and pushes me to talk about it when i say it's fine until i tel him. Sometimes i just feel like he's not putting in as much effort as he used to", "post_id": "6aw9sz"}, {"question": "I second what everyone said, with one added thought-- document, document, document. Contact a lawyer on the down low and find out what you can do. You don't want to get a divorce only to then end up with your ex getting unsupervised visitation with the kids!  I would find out what the recording laws are where you are (can you legally record when only one person is aware it's being recorded) and get him to talk about what he did with his sister, the child porn on his computer, him seeking out young girls for sex... Etc.  the other thing I would do is take control of the computer-- maybe put a key catcher (records the strokes of what people are typing on the computer) to catch him in the act/on chats, etc....  Then I would also take that computer and keep it as evidence so he can't destroy it.  Make sure you check with your lawyer so you do all this in a legal manner that can't be contested.  Then you'll have all this proof when you go to court to get sole custody of your kids about why he's an unfit parent and shouldn't be allowed near them, EVER.", "comment": "Some backstory: My husband and I have been together for 7.5 years, married for three, have two little boys, and another baby (don't know the sex yet) on the way. He was amazing until we got married, which is when things began to go downhill. He is in the Navy, I stay home with the kids, so he is gone a lot. After we married, I found things on the computer that were disturbing; he had been talking to other women, including his ex, and young girls as young as 13 years old (on dating sites, facebook, craigslist). I didn't know how to react at first because he is the father of my children and I didn't want to put him in jail (for talking to children), I wanted to confront him. He admitted it and admitted he had a problem and agreed to get help. Fast forward a few months, I catch him trying to talk to other Navy wives, he does the same thing and cries and apologizes and blames it on his sexual addiction and he goes into therapy. I don't have a job, and basically am totally dependent on him (I know, big mistake) and my family can not help me or take us in. Yesterday I found out that when he was 13, he had sex with his little sister who was 9 at the time and he continued having sex with her for 6 years. He said he stopped having sex with her once we were together, which I don't know if I believe. His whole family lied and covered it up and his mother never got him help for him but she now says she has only known about it for the past few years. What disturbs me the most is that they kept it a secret and we have children together. My oldest son who is 5, was showing signs of abuse starting at the age of 2 and now I am questioning whether he has done something to our son or not. I don't know what to do, or how to move forward, I am freaking out and I need some honest opinions on what to do...Feel free to ask anything if it would help with any advice. \n\n\nEdit:\nThank you so much everyone, this was very helpful and I feel like I have hope now. ", "post_id": "15uah0"}, {"question": "don't go back unless he starts couple therapy with you", "comment": "My Ex and I have been broken up with no contact for 4 months. He popped back into my life the other day saying he missed me and thinks about me all the time, and that he still hopes to marry me one day. He admitted and apologized to ruining our relationship by basically treating me like shit: silent treatment, venting about me to anyone who would listen, being secretive, disrespecting my boundaries, and generally abandoning me when he got too overwhelmed to work on our relationship. So I moved out after 6 months of trying to get him to see he was making a mistake, and cut all ties. I was so heart broken I suffered many panic attacks, dissociation, barely slept, etc. etc. I put myself back together and have many positives in my life, finally forgave him within my heart, but resolved that I will always love him unconditionally and may never get to the point where I stop thinking about him even if I find love with someone else. \n\nHe asked me what he needs to do to be with me again. He is coming over tonight to talk about it. Do you guys think he is capable of being a better man in that he will be able to stop using childish tactics to avoid issues, and he will be able to respect me if I lay it all out for him? I just don't want to go through the pain again if I let myself get re-attached just to be disappointed. He definitely has narcissistic traits but is not a full blown narcissist, and I don't know how easily those things can be altered. \n\n\nUPDATE: He agreed without hesitation to go to consistent counseling so we'll see how it goes. He was surprisingly open to it. ", "post_id": "6lmle7"}, {"question": "she'll likely get addicted to some other behavior. she sounds very immature too", "comment": "Im feeling very neglected lately and i think she secretly posts our problems/ stories to Reddit and always hits me with somme pretty good facts and advice that you redditers post. You guys have really changed our lives. But back to the issue at hand, SHES ALWAYS ON REDDIT. Morning, noon, night, dawn, pre dawn, midnight and LITERALLY aaall the time.", "post_id": "6cyedm"}, {"question": "My first thorough fears inventory changed my life.", "comment": "hey yall! first off, this post is pretty AA (or at least 12-step) specific so my apologies if that's not your thing - tho obviously feel free to read anyway.\n\ni just finished what i'll call the \"rough draft\" of my fourth step inventory (i imagine a few more things will come to me over the next few days)...  it was definitely a bit more intense than i anticipated. i'm already feeling a bit calmer/better than i did when i started to write this post, something i'll attribute to the huge decrease in emotional volatility i've had since getting sober. \n\nanywho, it was just perhaps a bit disconcerting to remember different ways i've been a terrible asshole over the years- i know bad shit has happened TO me, the resentments part was easy enough (and i know it's not all bad shit happening TO me there, but i digress), but remembering some of the things i've blocked out of my memory because they don't jibe with my self-concept as a Perfect Nice Good Person- didn't expect that! anyway, i know that this is all good and an opportunity to grow and be a better person, but i just wanted to type this all out - problem solved/problem halved etc. i also wrote out some of my good qualities afterwards to avoid turning the whole thing into some kind of beating-myself-up-pity-party.\n\nfourth step experiences/war stories/advice? :)", "post_id": "1j767z"}, {"question": "The simplest intervention is to increase your sodium and fluid intake. That might be helpful.\n\nAnother thing to try is standing up slowly and tensing muscles right before and as you do so to try to increase the blood returned from the veins in your limbs to your heart.", "comment": "24 year old white male. 5'10 and 170lbs. Daily medications: 40mg of Paxil; 300mg of Wellbutrin; 80mg of Propranolol; 10mg of Lipitor; 5 mg of Terazosin; Benzo (PRN- rarely)\n\nThis medication combo is for anxiety disorders, and before the meds I previously had high blood pressure (usually around 160/90mmHg+). My psychiatrist prescribed all of these except the Lipitor, and I take the Propranolol mainly for anxiety control, but it helps that it also helps with BP. I take the Terazosin for Paxil induced night sweats, and it works great (I started at 1mg, but it was not fully effective until I hit 5mg).\n\nMy BP is now around 100/60mmHG when I take it on my home device. Nearly every time I stand up, my vision gets a little spotted, I feel lightheaded, weak, and almost out-of-body slightly. \n\nI finally feel comfortable with my medication combination, but I am getting annoyed with the lightheadedness. I am not scheduled to go back to my psychiatrist for another few months, so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas in how to improve this at this time? Someone told me smelling salts, but that seemed a bit archaic.\n\nThanks", "post_id": "8lyoar"}, {"question": "Sounds like you have a great system in place that seems to be working for you.  I have a similar one where I outline my main points and then copy and paste journal articles in the areas where I plan to cite them and helps structure the flow of ideas. I also dont like to procrastinate but have a habit of doing that. To help, I do a \"Pacing\" measure to figure out how much i need to complete each day in order to finish on time. For example, a 10 Page paper with 3 weeks to complete means I can complete 1 page a day and have plenty of time to review.  At first I just write what ever comes to mind (ignoring format, syntax or sentence variation)....then I read each section to adjust content and syntax. I find that it is much easier to form and polish ideas when I have something already on the page.  The trick for me is spending \"20 minutes\" a day...as it keeps the stress away", "comment": "So I have no problem brainstorming ideas, and writing up 2000+ word documents of ideas, critique, etc. I guess this is one of the major advantages of having a scattered, ADHD-addled brain. \n\nBut then the dread kicks in when I have to synthesise all of these ideas into a coherent plan that will guide the actual essay. Being a perfectionist, I'm incredibly meticulous with the flow of ideas, structure, etc. So this is my major source of anxiety-induced procrastination, especially when I've already procrastinated the essay to the last minute, which happens well 99.9999% of the time. But I really want to work on avoiding this so I can plan in peace. \n\nAnyway, I've set up a system which works quite well for essay planning. I make a table with three columns: quote/general idea, page number and evaluation/critique. So the ideas basically progress logically down the rows. \n\nThen the scary part: summarising each main perspective for analysis. For this part, I copy and paste relevant information from my table into a word document, and print out the pages, so I have a copy next to me while planning the essay. This avoids scatter. \n\nSo after extracting a shorter summary from each point on the paper next to me, I cross out the quote/idea on the paper to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And if it's a shorter essay, I filter through the blocks of words, leaving only the MOST useful and essential information (which is basically the second trickiest part.)\n\nIt's quite a long process, but makes essay writing a lot more bearable. Just make sure you start this process as soon as possible to avoid the last minute anxiety I am currently experiencing.", "post_id": "6vo5uc"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong with being eclectic.  You don't have to love everything as much as you love your core interests, but it's extremely helpful socially to at least have a base knowledge of and be able to enjoy many different things.  \n\n\nI had a guitar teacher once tell me when I was really young that when it comes to music it's ridiculous to say you don't like an entire genre.  If you look hard enough, you can find some aspect that you really appreciate.  Life is better when you focus on the small things you can take joy in rather than discounting things.  I try to apply this to as much as I can in my life and encourage others to do the same.  \n\n\nExample, you might not love sports, but if you can understand it just enough, you might appreciate watching it and the camaraderie that goes along with it.  \n\n\nYou might not love cooking and foodie stuff, but you might learn to appreciate the skill and competitiveness when it comes to cookie shows and competitions.  \n\n\nFind a way to take joy in as many things as you can, while holding your core interests close.  It'll give you a basis to relate to many more people and open up social opportunities in a completely genuine way.  All friendships start based off of shared interest.  You don't have to be an expert fanboy to say you're into this or that.  Just a base knowledge and general curiosity.  \n\n\nP.S.  I'm also a huge NERD for plenty of things including board games.  Board games and DnD are gaining popularity so fast that soon it won't be too hard to find a good group of friends with these interests.  What are you playing right now?  I'm an avid and regular DnD player.  We also love Codenames, Secret Hitler, Lords of Waterdeep, and Anomia.  ", "comment": "I'm not sure if this belongs here but i'm honestly not sure where to ask this.\n\nAnyway, as the title says, i'm a nerdy guy. I play boardgames, videogames, i read books, and thats most of who i am espeically hobbys wise.\n\nIssue is, i'm worried that's \"all\" I am. I'm fine being a nerd, I enjoy the culture (the positives, not the toxicity shit) but i'm not sure if I should branch out into more \"general\" hobbies (things i'd like of course, i'm not gonna say watch X tv show just because other people like it) to be more relatable or not.", "post_id": "8pmtgm"}, {"question": "The term \u201cAlcoholic\u201d is no longer used in medical terminology. The correct term is \u201cAlcohol Use Disorder\u201d. Medically speaking you meet the diagnostic criteria for an alcohol use disorder.  The only requirement for membership for AA is a desire to stop drinking. If drinking causes problems it is a problem. If you persist in a behavior after that behavior causes problems, it will help to examine what positive benefits you gain from it.  I suggest you try 90 days of abstinence while attending AA meetings and introduce yourself as someone who is sampling sobriety and seeking to learn new ways of coping.  I suspect that your inner life has not provided you with the peace and contentment that you would prefer. AA offers a 12 step process of recovery that addresses the problem of living according to spiritual values. Each of the steps has a spiritual theme. The first is honesty. Getting honest about how drinking is harming you is necessary. If you persist in drinking when it\u2019s harmful you aren\u2019t being honest. AA calls that powerless. The second principle is hope. AA provides plenty of evidence for reason to hope for a better life than the one you\u2019re living. The third principle is faith. In AA you will meet people who have been revitalized by their reliance on a power greater than themselves, and AA suggests you define what that is for yourself.  The fourth principle is courage. Self examination is a necessary part of the process and self deception will sabotage your recovery. That is why it is necessary to share it with another.  The rest of the steps build on this process, each step preparing you for the next one. Finally you achieve a sense of indescribable freedom. This is described in the promises that are given in the AA literature.", "comment": "Hey. I am not sure if I belong here but it seems like a place where people will understand me. If I am breaking any rules then I am sorry and will be out.\n\nIts just that I am not an alcoholic. I never drank for more than 3 days in a row and mostly didn't drink if I had to work next day and I have no trouble refusing if somebody offers me a drink now. I am more of a binge drinker who can't stop when started until I blackout. If alcohol is over before I blackout I feel a sort of desperation. So I drank like that  1-3 times a week for over a decade.\n\nAnd then a few years ago I decided to stop. I am not even sure why anymore. Maybe because I fell on my face and broke two of my teeth on two different occasions in one year, because I am now with an actual alcoholic or because I was afraid I may say something or cheat on him by accident. Not sure. Only now I really hate life. It is all grey and depressing.Nothing got better like for example when it comes to work but everything else just got worse. I tried to find ways to have fun without drinking but I just can't. Its like if you ever felt true fun all the substitutes just don't live up to it. I also don't really know who I am anymore. I guess I identified myself too much with being a fun, wild drunk. I loved all the stories of what I did when drunk and actually enjoyed all the positive and negative things people were saying about me. Now I don't know where to put myself. I try to get my boyfriend to quit and that not just because I worry about him but because I feel jealous when I see him drunk. I hate his friends who come to drink with him because I imagine myself drinking with them. It hurts when I see my old friends now being his friends asking what happened with me. They all probably think I am a stuck up bitch who is against fun. And I can't find any new friends because I have no idea how to connect with people anymore (acquaintances yes, but no friends) . I did get drunk a couple of times in the past 3 years but only like 5 times per year and his friends all said they like me more that way which I get, I agree with them. I started getting high on opiates but this doesn't help as it isn't a very social drug.\n\nBasically everything is absolutely awful and I don't know how to change it. I keep on telling myself that I will go back and plan to get a vodka bottle on Friday but something always stops me. I think mainly because of my parents who are so happy with the change in me because they can't see how miserable I am and I don't want to hurt them. Back in the days I didn't care about that, I only cared about what I wanted and I miss this too.\n\nAnyways. I am sure people here felt this way and can maybe give some sort of advice? Did you ever find the same happiness without drinking, made any real friends, found a way to be happy with who you are etc.?", "post_id": "f9snay"}, {"question": "First look into your insurance. Call the number on the back of your card, or go online to see what your insurance covers. Find a place you like the best, and give them a call. Tell them what's going on, and that you'd like to start some services. They will schedule an intake with you, where you get to meet a therapist and figure out what's going on, and what kind of help would be best.\n\nIf you don't have insurance, this is what you do.\n\n1. Get insurance.\n2. See above steps.\n\nIf you really don't feel like getting insurance, find some therapeutic services close to you and call them. Ask them if they take out-of-pocket clients, and set up an intake with them.\n\nOutpatient services mean you will go and see a therapist.\nInpatient services mean you will go and stay somewhere for a while and see a therapist.\nIn-home services means a therapist comes to your home and works with you.\nMeds help a lot of people. Look into that if you want.\nGroup is group. You know what group is.\n\nThere are tons of different types of therapy. Finding the ones you like best is key.\n\nGood luck!", "comment": "I have bipolar, anxiety, and a smattering of other illnesses, but bipolar and anxiety are the ones I have the most trouble with. I think outpatient would be beneficial to getting me back on the right track (plus group therapy is a good idea because right now I just stay inside by myself all day) but I have no idea how to even go about becoming a part of a program. I have insurance, live in Missouri, and need help. Any advice/educational posts are appreciated.", "post_id": "4bicuf"}, {"question": "My Georgian isn't good , but it looks pretty normal. ", "comment": "HI, there is my blood test results and some of results are not match to reference interval. It isn't made in US, but i think DOCs can understand.\nI am male, 27. taking gabapentin, and phenibut or baclofen(for anxiety). Thank you!\n\nhttps://s30.postimg.org/fqsxnmr4h/213.jpg", "post_id": "5npoe3"}, {"question": "This is particularly tough for a lot of folks, especially if they've never really thought about it.  \n\nI use this exercise with most of my clients that are dealing with unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships, or even decent relationships but ones where communication could be improved.  \n\n\nOne way that I find helpful with clients is to discuss needs in terms of \"deal breakers\". \n\nFor instance, some of my personal needs/deal breakers are the following:\n\nI need there to be no physical abuse - If my partner ever punched me or hit me with something in anger, even one time, that would likely be enough for me to end the relationship.  \n\nI need my partner to not have any issues with hard drugs - If I find out my partner was addicted to heroin/cocaine/meth and somehow had been keeping this secret, upon finding out, the relationship would be over.  \n\nI need my relationship to be monogamous and my partner to be faithful - any cheating, we're done.  No if's, ands, or buts.  \n\nI need a partner who shares the majority of the values that are important to me - wants to have kids, wants to maintain relationships with friends, is not religious or belonging to a church, is respectful of my relationships with my friends/family, a few more.  \n\n\nI have some more but just wanted to give an example.  \n\n\n\nI have countless wants.  I want a partner who:  Like similar music, has a few shared hobbies, either likes or is willing to put up with my various obsessions: D&D, football, hockey, video games.  Someone who is vegetarian or is at least willing to eat mostly vegetarian at home (as I am).  Someone I can have intellectual conversations with, Someone who isn't a neat freak, Someone who enjoys good beer and whisky, someone my friends get along with, someone who can contribute financially nearly the same as me, someone who likes board games, someone who likes animals, etc.  \n\n\nI could go on and on with this too.  The key is that for the relationship to be a healthy one, you need to be honest with your needs/deal breakers and follow through with a break up if/when that line is crossed or have some plan such as (These are dealbreakers but if they occur and I haven't explicitly talked to the person about it, I'll have the discussion the first time it's crossed but after that it's set in stone and it's game over.)\n\n\nFor a relationships to be healthy, you don't need to get all of your wants met all of the time.  In fact, expecting that is completely unrealistic, even if it seems like your partner meets that during the honeymoon phase.  \n\n\nSo long as you have enough of your wants met enough of the time to tilt the balance between those and the things you don't like/want in favor of the positive while having all needs met, the relationship can be a healthy one.  So long as this is the case for both partners.", "comment": "I recently started seeing a therapist for relationship issues (basically I suck at maintaining an adult relationship). He had me do an exercise, write down what I \"need\" in a relationship.\n\n​\n\nWhen I start doing this, I keep going back to 'want' and not 'need'. Anyone else have issues with this?", "post_id": "fd8vw1"}, {"question": "Hey fellow nervous flyer here ! Is it the Bangladesh company you are talking about ? ", "comment": "I'm a really nervous flyer, so when I need to fly I usually choose an airline I know and trust, but I can't choose this time and I want to know if this airline is safe enough.", "post_id": "47ed46"}, {"question": "Just not being hungry, alone, is not one of the standard eating disorders. If you're feeling ill, that can be a reason not to be hungry. The question then is why you feel ill so much and are losing weight. If you haven't already seen a doctor, I think it would be important for you to do so.", "comment": "19f, 5\u20192, 116 lbs, white. Currently diagnosed with iron deficiency and general anxiety disorder. No prescription or recreational drug use. \n\nFor the past few months, I have not felt the need to eat as much as I probably should. I don\u2019t really like eating, and even when I\u2019m hungry I\u2019ll often decide \u201ceh, I don\u2019t really feel like eating right now\u201d and just go hungry. I frequently skip meals and often go to bed on an empty stomach because I just don\u2019t feel like I need food. I feel like I basically have to force myself to eat sometimes. \n\nI think my health is starting to suffer. I know my current weight is healthy for my height, but this month is the first time since I was 14 that I weigh less than 120 pounds. I\u2019m used to weighing about ten pounds more than I currently weigh. I feel malnourished. I\u2019m always, always, always tired and I frequently feel ill. I want to be able to eat more. I\u2019m not trying to lose weight, and I want to be adequately nourished. I don\u2019t know why my brain has decided that I need less food than I actually do. \n\nIs there a name for the situation I\u2019m in? Who should I talk to to figure out what my problem is and how to treat it? Thanks in advance for any advice.", "post_id": "hnj5pr"}, {"question": "Costco has a generic brand with the same active ingredient and the 6 month package costs less than one of rogaine.", "comment": "My dermatologist keeps recommending it. He wants me to use the men\u2019s rogaine foam once a day. I just don\u2019t know how I feel about the price of it.", "post_id": "bfkdce"}, {"question": "Psychologist here.  You don't owe your therapist anything and can just walk away if you want to.  It would be nice if you would make clear that you are leaving and if you want why.  You can request a list of alternative therapists too.    I belong to several lists and we write each other for who has skills and room for clients all the time.  The ideal thing from the therapist pov is to do a termination session or two to say goodbye and review progress and for the therapist to make recommendations.  But this is not required.  ", "comment": "I've been seeing my current therapist for about 9 months and I don't think it's working out, she's great to talk to but offers no actual help, then she went AWOL for a month and now the final straw is that I found they've been charging both me and my insurance.\nAnyway all that to say how to I end it with her? Just the thought of it is giving me panic attacks.\nThanks", "post_id": "2c9but"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "To be clear, the relationship is over.\nLet's start with the ending.  She called me up last minute and tearfully told me she needed the weekend to herself.  Something came up and i had to call her.  At the end of the call she turns everything around and breaks up with me.  I'm too angry to live with she said, but she can't point out anything I've done in anger. I offer to read up on anger management, maybe see a therapist if needed.  Not good enough, nothing is good enough.  We keep talking stretched over days, next I'm manipulative. Because I pouted that one time she felt tired and didn't want to make guacamole. (I wasn't trying to get her to make it, I was expressing disappointment as she wanted to show me \"her way\").  She wouldn't talk about the good things, and instead told me she didn't feel listened to.  Which was even more odd as she said the exact opposite many times in the relationship.  \"My walls are up\"  \"I hope you move on soon\" ended the final exchange.\n\nAlways one to question, I read a solid book on anger management.  Enlightening yes, but not for reasons I expected.  Turns out I'm very low anger and not half bad at managing what anger I have.  Still a good read.  So, my mind starts to wonder... what really happened? I look back over our texts like no sane person would. I see the times she went to lunch with single coworkers who she thought had a crush on her. Lunch here, dinner there.  Followed by long stretches of no texts and what now look like very flimsy reasons for going awol when I was generally expected to be responsive.  I think back to her talking about the last guy she dated before me.  I remember the timeline was confusing as though they'd broken up possibly only days before.  At the time i passed it off, I trusted her... she wouldn't hurt me like that.  I now remember that for the breakup call she was standing on her balcony, freeway noise in full force.  It was late in the morning, almost noon and the early riser was still in bed.  She had to \"wake up\" and go outside where it's noisy to talk to me?  He was already there... It was over before she even hinted it to me. \n\nIn hindsight, I completely missed it.  She started replacing me at least a month ago while simultaneously dangling the specter of moving in with me later in the year.  I gave the relationship my all, I have no idea what I was to her.\n\nSo, as the initial question stands.  How do you move on once someone does you like this?  Trust is already a delicate thing, and she clearly abused mine.  \n", "post_id": "6ls2sx"}, {"question": "Probably not. It sounds like you didn't actually hit her head directly. She could have a whiplash injury, but even that sounds unlikely. If she says she feels okay, you can probably believe her.", "comment": "Hey so not asking for myself but for my gf. Shes 5'4 140ish pounds, hald filipina, half black. \n\nEarlier today she was sucking on a cbd lollipop and i was next to her. I got startled by something (im very jumpy, i have anxiety) and jolted my arms up really hard. My hand accidentally struck the stick of the lollipop on its way up and because of the leverage her head got pushed and snapped back very violently and the lollipop brok in her mouth.\n\nShe said she was fine but i have bad concussion anxiety so i was wondering what anyone thought and if this could be concussive force?", "post_id": "8pcte5"}, {"question": "I wrote a full [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) which should be pretty helpful for you :)", "comment": "I find myself to be in this situation quite a lot if I am having a conversation with someone I hang out with. At some point the other person is done with a story and I have no things to add or ask some more then it get silent for a while and I can't think of anything to say eventually the other person goes on with another subject and I just listen most of the time.\n\nI am not really good at telling story's or just get a subject out of the blue I simple fall silent and feel like a statue at this point it is really awkward most of the time. Of-course sometimes silence is good but not when it happens so often. I am a quiet person by nature but not really shy I simply don't have anything to say.", "post_id": "3p4sc3"}, {"question": "There\u2019s good evidence for all the SSRIs in panic disorder and there\u2019s limited evidence to choose one over another. I found a decent [review article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2656325/#idm139907891365552title) on escitalopram (Lexapro) for you.", "comment": "Gender: Male  \nHeight: 6ft  \nWeight: 215lbs  \nSmoking: minor chewing tobacco use  \nMedications: metoprolol, Lexapro\nPrevious conditions: hypertension, eczema  \nSymptoms: worrying constantly about panic attacks which cause panic attacks (nausea, rapid heart rate, losing feeling in limbs)\n\nI\u2019ve been googling a ton but can\u2019t seem to find any comprehensive results. I\u2019ve been having panic attacks and my doctor put me on Lexapro. I\u2019ve seen online that it helps with generalized anxiety disorder but it doesn\u2019t seem approved to help with Panic Disorder.  Does Lexapro help with panic attacks?", "post_id": "e469j6"}, {"question": "[Klinefelter syndrome](http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/klinefelters-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx)", "comment": "I'm interested what my chances are, as a 22 year old, to develop physically still further. What would be your recommended therapy, so I can compare it with my doctor's?\n\nThanks in advance", "post_id": "6f2f6b"}, {"question": "Well done mate... seriously, that\u2019s really brave. IWNDWYT \n\nAre you relieved? ", "comment": "I'm laying in bed and my family is not here. I'm thinking about going to grab some cash out of the atm and go to the store and just get a little bottle. Nothing bad has happened to me and life is good but I just want to check out.  **UPDATE*** I WENT TO THE STORE AND BOUGHT 4 MINI BOTTLES AND GOT HOME MIXED WITH COKE STARED AT IT AND THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT POSTED I FOUND THE STRENGTH TO DUMP IT DOWN THE TOILET. I WAS SHAKING AFTER I DUMPED IT. IWNFDWYT!!", "post_id": "9o5quk"}, {"question": "- that's not how bipolar works. \n- what triggers the sudden upset?  Like a concrete example?\n- does he bring up his ex-gfs or do you just speculate about them?\n- it's his responsibility to tell you what does and does not work for him. Not your responsibility to mindread. \n- hopefully he'd know that, as the older partner. \n- at your ages, 4 years is a significant gap. ", "comment": "I'm a 17/F that has been dating a 21/M for almost 6 months now. I honestly feel like I treat him like trash, despite him saying otherwise, I just feel like he's using ex gfs as a comparison and deciding I treat him better. I get so mad at him over nothing, if he doesn't do something I've suggested or sometimes (the majority of the time) he hasn't done anything at, I've gotten annoyed at something else, and I take my frustration out on him, I'm very short with him and sometimes I don't answer him in person (basically for no reason. I can go from fine to mad over nothing in a second and back again and it just seems like it's all of the time, and I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm bipolar because of how often it is. ", "post_id": "6gq7ue"}, {"question": "If you live near a university, most of them that offer degrees in counseling have a free clinic attached to them ( or sliding scale-- the clinic near me charges $1-$30 per session, depending on family income. Most people pay just $5 per session.). Call the department and ask! Good luck!", "comment": "Things are going very badly in my life.  I want to see a psychiatrist but I don't have any money or health insurance.  What can I do.  I'm not working and I tried to look for work but I can't concentrate.  Life is too hard and I dont' want to live anymore.  ", "post_id": "1e6yo2"}, {"question": "I think you have a misunderstanding. Once the virus shows symptoms it is almost invariably fatal; if you were exposed you often must be treated without really knowing whether you were infected or not. Testing the animal is the easiest way to know, but it's likely that you can't find the cat now. There were not thousands of cases in the US; there were a few dozen in the past two decades, partially because of aggressive prophylaxis after possible exposures.\n\nRabies is actually fairly rare, and bites from an animal that isn't obviously sick are very unlikely to cause rabies. You are probably fine. But the risk of being wrong is contracting rabies and dying. Ultimately we can't tell you what to do, just that the risk is very low but non-zero that you were infected and the risk of untreated infection is virtually 100% mortality.", "comment": "I\u2019m a 20 year old female, 132 lbs, 5\u20197\u201d.\n\nI was drunk one night with friends and we were walking to a party when I saw a cat- too young to be an adult and too old to be a kitten. It was very docile and calm so one of my friends and I (we both long animals) approached it. It was a little shy and laid down and cowered a little before we began petting it.\n\nI admit that I was a bit too rough with it because I was not in the right state of mind and was excited so I was petting the cat much like how you pet a big dog- roughhousing and the like. I picked up the cat several times and attempted to carry it and each time it jump out of my arms. It would follow me constantly but stop eventually and lay on the sidewalk staring at me. \n\nThe last time that I pet it, it was calm at first but out of nowhere it scratched me and bit my hand. The bite was deep enough that it has a narrow scab but didn\u2019t draw blood. The bite was a little out of season because the cat was literally playing with me up until that point but I also realize that since it was a stray it may not know how to act around people so biting could just be a defensive response not trained out of this.\n\nI did research and was surprised to see how long it takes the virus to show symptoms in humans- 3 to 9 weeks. It will be a week since the bite tomorrow (Saturday). So far I feel normal. No real change in me. \n\nThere are a lot of tests involve and I don\u2019t have the time for that especially since I\u2019m a college student. I also overreact a lot and my friends keep saying that I should go to the hospital to have the tests done. I don\u2019t want to spend all that money and there\u2019s nothing wrong.\n\nThe bit is healing fine and my gut is telling me it\u2019s okay. But I just want a second opinion. I know anything is possible but I honestly don\u2019t think the cat had rabies. Only 1 or 2 people die from rabies in the US and I heard some 45000 contract it. \n\nI\u2019m not try to play the what if game...\n\nIt\u2019s just unsettling because this virus can actually be fatal especially once symptoms show. So it\u2019s basically a waiting game... ", "post_id": "9bmn2r"}, {"question": "Some amount of discharge isn\u2019t so rare during puberty among boys, but it can be something more serious. I wouldn\u2019t worry, but I would discuss with your doctor.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "jxnk8j"}, {"question": "This won't be the advice you are looking for but, here goes.  It is really hard to judge her reaction to you without physically being there to read the body language.  Also your are going to have a skewed view of her since you want her to be attracted to her.  If you really want to find out if she likes you, you have to ask.  There is no easy way around it and strangers on the internet don't have the answer of whether she likes you or not.  Ask if she wants to go out for a drink or something sometime.  Tailor the sentence how yo wish.  Now a work of caution.  One of two things happens.  Either she accepts your request for fun and you start down that path.  Or she denies your request and now you have a dentist that you will always look at and wonder what could be.  Having a relationship in an area of your life that initial served another purpose can be tricky.  Even if you do get in a relationship with this woman you have to be prepared for all outcomes.  ", "comment": "I went to the dentist yesterday, and there was this beautiful fair skinned lady. My guess would be shes between 26-31 years of age considering shes a dentist. Anyways, while i was in the chair, i caught her sneak and glance into the room. Like a quick glance but she look at me briefly. She walked back and forth through the hallway either once or twice, i cant really remember. She stayed in her office next door with another woman for about 10-15 minutes while i was getting my procedure done. Literally as soon as i was done she stood at the door and smiled at me and i smiled and winked back as i was caught of guard. Was that a coincidence?, Also i am 20 years old, but i look like a 15-16 year old kid. I have no hair on my face, i am 5\"8 , i weigh 156 pounds. If any of this does mean anything, What could she possibly see in me? I would say i am attractive, usually its high school girls that approach me because i look so young. They say on a 1-10 attractiveness scale (Kind of ridiculous and immature right?), that i am an 8-8.5. Some have even said a 9. What do you guys think about this? I desperately need help with this as its been on my mind.", "post_id": "46j3qd"}, {"question": "be direct. talk about converting to a real rel.", "comment": "8 months I have had I guess you could say a FWB [30m] and his behavior/our conversation has changed quite a bit recently and I can't tell if he is taking this more serious or if I am now being literally just friend-zoned.\n\n", "post_id": "6stskd"}, {"question": "Hey there.. for me, what I really need for my anxiety is to have someone validate and love me while also keeping strong boundaries and setting some containment. It sounds to me like the skipping around to different techniques and the lack of linear concrete tasks was really disregulating for you. \n\nI also think there is some truth, probably, in you taking things to heart that aren\u2019t necessarily that harsh? But nevertheless, you may need to start with someone who is more about unconditional positive regard, so that you can replace your inner critic with a more kind voice and THEN the tough love after that. Tough love can be difficult to take when you\u2019re already making yourself feel like shit - it just feels like piling on. \n\nI\u2019m sorry you had that experience, and I do hope you\u2019ll look around for someone who\u2019s a little more experienced and a little more kind :)", "comment": "(This got long... TL;DR: Walked out of therapist\u2019s office after ~12 weekly sessions that felt inconsistent and disorganized, jumping around to different approaches without going in-depth. I felt ill-prepared to do a task therapist pushed me to tackle. Failed that task, and was met with criticism I felt was unnecessary and tactless. Was told that my anxiety is normal, yet somehow so severe that therapy can not help me unless I am medicated. Hoping to find a therapist who clicks better with me, and make a path of progress.)\n\n\nI\u2019ve heard many times that you gotta work with different therapists and find someone who clicks well with you. Makes sense. Still, this experience of leaving this therapist has me feeling guilty, stressed, and questioning myself, and I just need to get it off my chest.\n\n\nAfter not seeing a therapist for ~1.5 years, I began seeing this doctor weekly a few months ago. My first impression of her was her demeanor, the word \u201cbrusque\u201d comes to mind. I\u2019d never gotten this vibe from a therapist, but figured maybe I need someone a bit tough who won\u2019t coddle me. I expressed to her at our first session that I am seeking help with anxiety and depression, specifically to learn coping mechanisms for when my anxiety impedes me from doing important tasks, like taking steps to move forward in my career. I get overwhelmed, and \u201ccope\u201d by avoiding. I do other tasks that feel productive but avoid the important life stuff. Told her I was interested in CBT, she said great let\u2019s do that. But working with her wasn\u2019t the step by step path that hoped it\u2019d be.\n\n\nSo we start CBT stuff- as homework, I started a journal of negative feelings, recording them, recognizing cognitive distortions. But after a couple of sessions she stops all that and shifts our focus to breathing exercises. Then another time, she says medication is something I should consider, when previously she said medication is more of a last resort if therapy isn\u2019t helping. I'm not against medication, but she knows I\u2019ve tried many in the past that haven\u2019t helped, some with significant side effects, so I'm trying to focus more on therapy now. Around session 8, she says let\u2019s create a \u201cTreatment & Recovery Plan\u201d, something she\u2019s been \u201cmeaning to do with me for a while\u201d.. Then at our last few sessions, she shifts the focus to DBT, and gives me some worksheets, explaining some of it may not apply to me, but that it might be good for mood regulation. I go along with everything- she\u2019s the professional, I want to be receptive to whatever may help. Each time she switches to a new thing she seems to abandon the previous thing, so I get the sense she decided they were not working. I feel I could have benefited from practicing CBT more (and I should have voiced this)\n\n\nDuring our sessions, she learns that I have very low self esteem, I constantly beat myself up, am self-defeating. She asks me about my past, trying to find a reason for my low self esteem. My past isn\u2019t perfect (whose is?) but no outrageous trauma on which to place blame for my mental shortcomings. She insists in a few separate sessions that I just have to stop thinking negatively. I express that having persistent negative thoughts is not a choice I make, and was hoping that therapy would help me learn to cope with them so they are manageable. Her advice is more about having strength of will to overcome these thoughts. I\u2019m like..how though? She actually snapped her fingers to illustrate stopping the bad thoughts. I can\u2019t just flip a switch like that and so I feel I have already failed, am incapable.. worthless. (catastrophizing, black and white thinking)\n\n\nThen at our 2nd-to-last session, the homework she assigned for next time was tackling a task that triggers my anxiety: beginning to build a website (as mentioned earlier, a task to move forward in my career). I express to her that I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m equipped to handle the emotions that arise. She says \u201cYou seem like a functioning, smart person, you have a job. You just have to commit and really push yourself in baby steps. You should have a fire under your ass.. IF this is something you really want,\u201d she says, knowing I have internal battles over whether I really want this career path, if working on it triggers so much anxiety.. But I supposed this was that tough love, something I probably need to hear. My homework is to work on the website for a mere two hours total over the next two weeks. (Normally I see her every week but she was going to be away the following week.)\n\n\nAnyway, I fail. Each time I approached the task, I tried to cope with my anxiety and panic with breathing exercises and CBT logic, but I fell back to my poor coping mechanism of just avoiding it without making notable progress. I do feel like a sham of a person just typing this. Could I have tried harder? Yes. However, I do well in other areas over those weeks (probably to make up for the guilt) such as pushing myself to eat on a regular schedule, pushing harder to do mindfulness meditation/breathing exercises twice daily, and I begin an exercise regimen, hoping these things will help with my anxiety in general. The meditation and breathing exercises are a nice break, but the anxiety comes back in full force afterwards when approaching the task. I am keeping at it, I get that it takes time.\n\n\nSo yesterday I see her for the first time in two weeks. I tell her about eating better, exercising, breathing exercises/meditation. She says great, asks if I put in the two hours on my website and I say no, explain how I tried and failed, and start getting down on myself about it. Now she begins to speak with me in a tone of frustration (or so it truly seemed to me, maybe I have a victim complex, this has me questioning reality). She says she can\u2019t understand why I have such low self esteem, since I have supportive people around me, am physically capable, and function well enough to hold a job. Now I feel myself start to panic- racing heart, shaky limbs, tense muscles. I feel invalidated hearing this. All the time I beat myself up with thoughts like this. I am staring at the floor feeling attacked.\n\n\nI tell her (not for the first time) that I wish I had a reason for my anxiety, but I don\u2019t, and does that mean my feelings are not legitimate? She says \u201cabsolutely not, of course your feelings are legitimate!\u201d Ok\u2026 I have an urge to leave. My legs feel like they might just carry me out of here. She continues, saying that everyone has anxiety and what I am feeling is normal. I try to interject but she continues, saying she feels she is doing a disservice to me if I have this level of anxiety and am not on medication. That I\u2019m not trying hard enough and need to commit more. That I\u2019ve been slacking on the homework, and yet in the same breath recalls back to the CBT journals (??) She reiterates that she feels she\u2019s doing a disservice to me.\n\n\nI feel defeated, I feel like I\u2019m taking crazy pills trying to follow her line of reasoning. I get up and go toward the door while thanking her for her time, apologizing, asking her to please cancel our future sessions. I\u2019m careful to speak quietly and politely, terrified of seeming overly dramatic, I just wanna leave. On my way out the door she said \u201cI\u2019m sorry you feel that way\u201d. \u201cThank you\u201d keeps coming out of my mouth stupidly as I close the door behind me. Part of me feels awful for walking out, like I made her feel like she failed.\n\n\nI exit the building and cry in my car. Going round and round in my head like: How could she be so heartless- No, I\u2019m overly sensitive, incapable of meeting reasonable expectations- I failed, I\u2019ll never get better, what\u2019s the point- No, she didn\u2019t handle it professionally, said things she knows I constantly beat myself up about- Well, she\u2019s right, I\u2019m my own worst enemy, I hate myself.. etc. I calm myself down, call my best friend who kindly lets me vent and we talk for a bit, and then I\u2019m ready to drive home.\n\n\nNow I\u2019m all fucked up.. not sure which of us came up short here. Maybe both of us. Maybe I couldn\u2019t handle the tough love and just want to be coddled, maybe I\u2019m lazy and don\u2019t want to put in effort. But I know I DO want to put in effort. I just want a therapist who will stick to one consistent treatment. Surely that\u2019s reasonable? Someone who will push me to practice skills to create good habits (like the CBT journaling). Who will be understanding when I fail (Is that coddling)? I get enough criticism from myself for failing, I do not need it from a therapist too. Is it unreasonable to want my hand to be held that much? To have my feelings of anxiety be validated, while also recognized as damaging, and learning to manage them? Part of me worries I\u2019m asking too much, wanting to be coddled and tough-loved simultaneously. But part of me is like, no, you'll find an understanding yet firm person to teach and guide you. You deserve to start breaking these chains so you can live better.\n\n\nI really needed to get this off my chest. I feel guilty for taking like two hours to write and edit it, but there\u2019s no need for me to feel that way, because it was therapeutic and now I can wash my hands of it.\n\n\nIf you\u2019re reading this, thank you. If you want to share your thoughts or experiences, please do. Thank you again and hope you have a pleasant day!", "post_id": "8sczkh"}, {"question": "Beautiful, thank you!", "comment": "Hey, \n\nVoice to the wind. Wind into the voice. I know you're out there. I don't feel like it's the right time either. Because it'll come in time.\n\nThis is cool. \n\nHey you, yes, you. You reading this. You are valid, you are genuine, you are a people. Your problems are your problems, yeah I know, they suck. Really hurts right? I empathize. I go through them too. Know what? Itl be okay. It equals out. There's loss and there's love. You'll experience both, I have a feeling.\n\nHave a great fucking day!", "post_id": "atco81"}, {"question": "I'm an introvert and one of my favorite things to do is have \"together alone\" time where we are doing separate things but can still enjoy each other's company. We can each be engaged in separate hobbies, read a book, browse the internet, etc while the other is doing something else. After some time passes, we regroup and share what we've been up to. This can even be disbursed throughout the activities (sharing interesting articles, quotes, thoughts, progress on a project, etc.). So this way, the introvert gets time to recharge and the extrovert still has someone to hang out with.  ", "comment": "My SO[26M] and I [23F] have been together for 1 1/2 years now and he is a major introvert. I on the other hand, wouldnt classify myself as an extrovert but somewhere in between the 2. We get along so well even with our differences in personality because we balance each other a little and we are usually extremely happy. We rarely fight, but on the odd time that we do, its about how much time to spend together and things surrounding his introverted tendencies. We are getting to that point in our relationship where marriage could be on the table soon, but we are both worried that his introverted tendencies could make having a family and simply living together, really hard. I am currently really good about giving him his space when he needs it and letting him recharge alone. but when you live together, i know that itgets harder!  He really wants to change and not be so introverted, but he feels like it may not be possible and that he might just have to end up completely alone. \nBasically i'm just looking for some tips on how we can make this work.? I can't see my life being spent with anyone else and im really determined to make this work. I know he loves me, and he says if he ends up with anyone it will be me, but will this be too much of an uphill battle?\nAny advice helps! \n\nTL;DR My boyfriend is an introvert and im not. How do we make this work? ", "post_id": "2dfthu"}, {"question": "You don't have an obligation to disclose psychiatric treatment, and your psychiatrist, like any doctor, has both ethical and legal (HIPAA) obligations to not disclose anything without your permission.\n\nPsychiatric disability is covered by the ADA, but proving why you weren't hired is next to impossible. Once you are hired you have a better case if you get fired, but it's still a long, difficult legal challenge.", "comment": "I hope you don't mind my asking but was anybody able to go back to work successfully post psychiatry?  Did the stigma follow you?  Did you have to make any modifications?", "post_id": "7twmp1"}, {"question": "Some of your symptoms sound like a manic episode to me...but I don't have enough info from your post to say that with certainty.", "comment": "Hi first time posting. Went to doctor recently to get an opinion on my mental Heath have been referred to phychiatrist but have not been yet, wondering if I can get an opinion on here before I go. Here goes.... I have trouble concentrating at work my mind is always wondering/ procrastinating. I have always been a heavy over thinker and I think very fast also read fast, always feel in a hurry. I have bad memory because I'm always overthinking I forget where I place things/what I'm doing, things like people's names go right through my head. I find it very had to clear my head like I never have calm in my thoughts. I get irritated easy. I feel like my overthinking wears me out. I've always had trouble following instructions I.e plans I find it a lot easier to learn hands on. I always have plans to start hobbies like build a bar get into spearfishing etc but quickly lose interest. I have trouble getting to sleep and wake up during the night and find my brain racing. My thoughts aren't worries usually just random things, unless I'm stressed out then I find myself winding myself up over small problems and repeating my thoughts. My mother suffers from depression/ anxiety although I don't feel depressed I thought I'd put that in there. I'm also a lot better and mind is clearer out of work or if I'm doing something I enjoy.\n I intend on writing this all down and taking it to the phychiatrist to help explain myself.\n\nAny feedback/opinions would be much appreciated, thanks for reading.", "post_id": "49rnuo"}, {"question": "Everyone has strong and weak sides. Are you convinced that someone with narcissistic traits is per definition not a good match for you?\n\nMy advice is to look at each potential partner as a whole, and not just as a narcissist or not-narcissist, and to look at your past partners in the same way.", "comment": "Hi, I\u2019m a 20F and I\u2019ve fallen for two guys that are (what I think are) narcissists in a the span of a few months. One was more covert and the most recent was more overt. My mom is also a narcissist. (Many people around me who know my mom agree that she is a narcissist). I feel like an idiot since I keep falling for this type of person. How do I catch the warning signs of narcissism early? I just started seeing a therapist so I do feel like some of this will work itself out in time. I\u2019m just curious if anyone knows why this happens.", "post_id": "ejz1wb"}, {"question": "Get a sponsor. I got sober at 17, I know how you feel. While I wasn't locked down I should've been. The only way I made it was by going to AA meetings and actually putting myself out there. I shook hands and got numbers, I made coffee and set up chairs. Sounds boring right? I had the time of my life at around 3-6 months.\n\nNext and arguably the most important thing for me, was I got a sponsor and worked the twelve steps. It saved my life and I would've been batshit crazy and depressed if I hadn't.\n\nThere are also medical issues surrounding depression that need to be dealt with along with the addiction. AA is important, but sometimes anti-depressants are needed for fixing the chemical imbalances that occur in the brain as a result of depression. \n\nThere are a million things you can do to get out of your head. It'll be tough being on lockdown, but the farther you get from that last drink and the closer you get to recovery the longer that leash will become. \n\nThis too shall pass my friend. Things are great on the other side of the tunnel.", "comment": "I'm a teenager, so I still live with my mom and she keeps a really tight leash on me. I understand that, but I've barely been out of the house in almost 4 months and when I do, I cant be out for over an hour. My mom won't let me get a job, go to school, or see friends. I'm really sheltered and left with my own thoughts as my only friends. I went into treatment in August, which was my 3rd time being institutionalized. I've been going to NA meetings here and there, but I don't really seem to connect with the people at the meetings in my area, even though i've been going for almost a year. I'm an agnostic, and I feel so lonely and hopeless at this point. The only thing keeping me from a relapse is a lock on the medicine cabinet. Any advice??", "post_id": "1rx63q"}, {"question": "When someone gives you an emotionally-dating-but-not-really-dating deal, you run. You run so far. It sucks the life from you.\n\nInvolved in one of these semi-recently, and still reeling.", "comment": "No use in overanalyzing all of the details. For 8 months we did this weird song and dance where he treated me like I was the light of his life but vocally insisted that he couldn't be in a relationship. We \"broke up\" only for the contact, the \"I miss you's\" from him to intensify. I thought he had changed his mind and that one of us needed to step up and be brave first. He told me my letter scared him and complicated things between us further. We went from feeling like we understood each other completely to him being really frustrated at me because he felt like he had to repeat himself on things we'd already discussed. I just thought, based on his actions, that he wanted something else. We went NC.\n\nBut, no matter. I'm glad I was honest and told him how I felt. I know that his rejection speaks nothing to my worth as a human being and everything to do with where he is as a person. Our last conversation was awkward and stressful and a little embarrassing for me, but if our friendship is strong then we'll be able to repair things down the line, and if he really doesn't value or respect me then I don't need him in my life.\n\nI thought he was the one. He didn't. That's okay. Life moves on. Does anyone have stories from down the line? I just want to hear happy anecdotes of people getting their heart stomped on and that enabling them to meet someone better down the line. ", "post_id": "34j4ru"}, {"question": "I just watched Miss Congeniality and there\u2019s a scene where they\u2019re talking about pizza and Gracie says \u201cdon\u2019t worry, she\u2019ll puke it up anyways\u201d and this is an acceptable answer for the group of girls. That hit me like a slap in the face\u2014 I watched this movie hundreds of times as a young teenager and always just accepted that that\u2019s just what you do when you are beautiful and this was normal adult behavior.\n\nPSA: It\u2019s not normal and it\u2019s not glamorous and it won\u2019t make any of us beautiful.", "comment": "like, sometimes i forget that constantly having the thought of puking ur meal up whenever u decide ur too full/it\u2019s too many calories in the bg isn\u2019t normal. i\u2019ll have streaks of 2 or 3 weeks where i\u2019m purge-free and then i\u2019ll get drunk and i\u2019m immediately like \u201cyeah but i can just purge this meal\u201d\n\nthat isn\u2019t normal!! this is your eating disorder talking!! recovery feels easy until you realise it\u2019s wormed its way into every part of your life, until you realise that shoving ur fingers down ur throat isn\u2019t normal. that purging isn\u2019t an undo button for everyone else and that there\u2019s a REASON for that.\n\n idk. i\u2019m just venting because relapsing is so easy and i want this to be Over but also bulimia is lowkey forever part of my life now and i don\u2019t even know how that happened. hey there!", "post_id": "ivg4v2"}, {"question": "giver her  space for a day or two. she'll come around.", "comment": "Yesterday, my girlfriend had texted me about something that she found out. When we first started dating, she had told me some gossip and asked me not to tell. After some time I let it slip to a friend of mine. I don't remember when I said it, but I know I did. \n\nSix months into our relationship (Yesterday), she found out I told and was angry that I told my friend. She got very upset, citing how the trust was broken, how I was stupid for telling him, and that she couldn't believe it. \n\nAfter some time and thought, I apologized for what I had done. I apologized for betraying her trust and citing the ways in which I did that. This morning I received messages stating the relationship was over, that she didn't know me, that I was a terrible person, and that she didn't want anything to do with me.\n\nWe have a history of fights that end in breakups, but this time she said she was done for good. \n\nI know I messed up, and explained what I did was wrong. I explained why it was wrong, and what I was going to do to fix it.\nShe was very upset by me breaking her trust. I have really hurt her by telling my friend.\n\nMy question is, Is there anything I can do?? \n\ntldr: Fight with girlfriend. I told a friend about something that she didn't want me telling anyone. I know I messed up. Girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with me. What can I do??\n\nEDIT: By saying after some time, I apologized two hours after our initial conversation. I understand I was wrong. Our arguments play out with her yelling and screaming, and I listen to what she has to say. I only ever want to understand what she is saying and where she is coming from.", "post_id": "6bigcc"}, {"question": "I would recommend finding a counselor you feel comfortable with, and paying cash for a few sessions to see if it helps at all. Paying cash and keeping it off the insurance keeps your counselor from having to give you an \"official\" diagnosis. Plenty of people seek counseling for life stressors that would not necessarily be considered serious mental disorders, but for insurance purposes counselors have to assign a diagnosis to get paid. \n\nIf you ethically feel as though it's something you would need to report to your employer, that's a decision you would have to make on your own. \n\nSource: Am licensed professional counselor ", "comment": "tl;dr- If I choose to get help and I end up getting diagnosed with depression, there's a good chance it would end my career. \n\nI'm writing this because I've reached a point in my life where I'm completely unsatisfied with where my life is at, but I have no idea of how to fix it. I'm a mid-20's male, I have a stable job flying for the military, I'm healthy, and I'm pretty much financially secure. A lot of people would want to be where I am, and yet I am completely miserable. \n\nWithout going into my entire backstory, I feel like I've always had some low-level depression growing up. I was shy, introverted, and had few friends, and very little interest or enjoyment in any sports or hobbies. I powered through it until I was done with college, thinking that \"As soon as I get to X, things will pick up\". Except that now there's no next milestone in sight, and I'm left with an unrewarding job, no real friends, and very little passion or motivation to do anything beyond basic needs. \n\nI finally got to a point where I thought \"If I keeled over right now, how long would it take for anyone to find me?\", and I realized that I could be dead for the better part of a week before I was discovered. I look at myself and what I see disgusts me. I feel like I'm so far behind in life, and have so many varied issues that I don't even know where to start fixing things. When my appearance, personality, social life, and interests are all terrible or non-existent, and all my attempts to improve have failed, how do I get out of this?\n\nI realized I probably need professional help, but therein lies the problem. As part of my career as a military aviator, I need to report any treatment or counseling for mental health issues. If I were to be diagnosed with an actual mental disorder that requires treatment, such as depression, I could be taken off of flying status permanently with no way of seeking a waiver. My career in the military would be effectively over, and so would any possibility of continuing to fly as a civilian. \n\nSo, I can either learn to deal with being miserable, as I have been doing, and continue to have a career and be self-sufficient. Or, I can roll the dice on seeking help, and if what I have is permanent and requires treatment, my career is over and I would effectively be disabled. ", "post_id": "68daex"}, {"question": "Use medication but sparingly. Check medical possibilities. Fix your diet so your gut biome is healthy, start to cut out stress you can but only because you'll need the room for stresses you can't cut out like anxiety. Start to practice meditation and belly breathing. Carry ice cold water in a 24hr vacuum insulated bottle. Tell at least three people. Read about it but don't read anything that talks about \"cut out caffeine and reduce your stress\" they are talking about worry, not anxiety. Practice more belly expansion and other vaygal stimulating exercises. Try Chinese herbs like ashwagandha. Sleep enough. Always differentiate external from internal fear. Recheck medical possibilities. When panicking use your senses to pull you out, if you can't empirically validate the fear it's probably not external. Internal fear is anxiety and while very real, it's not going to harm you. Avoid the temptation to accommodate triggers. Cut out caffeine. Look into fecal transplants. Use the repulsion as motivation to do more of the other stuff. Check for hyperthyroidism again. Go to a counselor if you can't get somewhere in your own. Find a good book on it. \n\nFinally  after none of this has worked, Use Ketamine to reprogram your limbic system. ", "comment": "So lately I have been having major anxiety, further leading to what seems to be a panic attack. I have only had this happen a few times in the past few months. Looking for suggestions on how to handle it. They usually come out of nowhere. ", "post_id": "6hxcmk"}, {"question": "Everyone can benefit from a set of skills that helps them think more rationally,  and checks whether their thoughts are influencing their emotions.  You can also also challenge your own black-and-white thinking.  As a non-CBT practicing psychologist,  I think these and are other CBT type skills are  fantastic for anyone. \n\nAs far as self-learning CBT, I  think this would be like learning tennis from a book, with no racket,  court , or balls. You could easily learn every stroke and position,  but that is very different than actually playing the game . And then,  if you got out and  played tennis by yourself against a wall , how would you  get better or be challenged? How would you know if you were making the same mistake over and over?\n\nAlso , the reason you can't apply it to yourself is because you can't possibly know what you do and don't know . Everyone has blind spots .\n\nI think anyone can benefit from solid techniques and new ways of thinking.  You can check yourself on whether your thoughts are influencing your emotional state,  but that is very different than the work of therapy .\n\nIf cost is prohibiting you from getting help , I recommend seeing a grad student . They are usually free or very low cost.", "comment": "Is it possible/effective to learn CBT from scratch, and then apply it yourself without the guidance of a therapist of some kind? \nAre there any resources you\u2019d recommend, workbooks, etc. and what would you say are the main pitfalls to attempting this alone?", "post_id": "fwhljo"}, {"question": "Welcome back. Good luck!!", "comment": "Hey team - i just wanted to report back on all the benefits of drinking over the last year! Wooo I\u2019m pumped! I\u2019ve had daily hangovers, personal issues, Ill-health, lack of achievement, wasted money, depression, amongst other awesome things!\n\nI love drinking!\n\nWhat I really mean is... what the fuck am I doing with myself?\n\nDay 4 of getting my life back on track for the ones I love and even possibly myself at some point.\n\nYou guys rock - stay strong", "post_id": "bpiz0k"}, {"question": "I've always had a morbid curiosity for messed up things. I first considered a coroner but you need to be a doctor and I (unnecessarily) doubted my ability. The next most interesting thing was forensic psychology. \n\nAfter looking into and applying for a range of degrees, I got accepted into a bachelor of arts in psychology. 6 years later I'm four weeks away from handing my second thesis in and becoming a fully registered clinical psychologist. I think in the future I would like to go on to do medicine but for now I'm going to work for a bit and see where I end up. Still interested in forensic and legal work... might work in a court system for a while.", "comment": "I'm stuck. \n\nI need to decide on a viable career path to start following as I work on my novel. So I thought I would do a little crowd sourcing to see how those of you with careers and degrees finally settled on what seems to be working in your life. \n\nAs with many of us I have very real strengths and weaknesses. One huge weakness is fitting in, it's so problematic that I get fired from jobs constantly because no matter what I do, no matter how I check my words and reactions, I just never become a part of the \"team\".  And of course if my interest is not held in a constant state of excitement and reward, I'll just float off into procrastination. So I'm thinking I need to run my own business and it needs to be something that does not require many, if any co-workers. \n\nStrengths, I have the gift of gab. I can talk to anybody about anything and be super charming in small doses. Public speaking is basically second nature, in truth I often feel more comfortable on a stage. I'm good with plants, herbs and food. I have an extensive history with sports and physical fitness. People often come to me for tips on healthy meal planning and the science behind the food and drinks they are ingesting. In my big dreams I could see myself attacking the diet and fitness industry from the outside as a reasonable voice for actual health, but I believe that could just be one of my ADHD pipe dreams. \n\nWhile it seems clear that I have an idea of what to pursue, I am genuinely afraid of losing interest and failing at yet another thing. I know I will have little support because I've gone down so many different paths thinking this is the one! \n\nHow did you do it? How did you settle on what felt right for you? How can you tell what is just another flash in the pan hobby interest, vs. something you can keep up for years?", "post_id": "df0akk"}, {"question": "I haven't evaluated or treated you, so I can't say anything for sure. However,  since you said this resolved itself with age and no intervention and because you never acted on these thoughts (aside from threars)  I suspect it may be related to poor access to coping skills and little control over your life as a kid. \n\nKids often have no control over external circumstances and may not be taught or modeled internal coping . So,  if your only way to self sooth and feel in control was to imagine these violent scenes,  then it makes sense .", "comment": "I had a phase in which I had kinda violent thoughts. This started when I was around 11 and faded away slowly when I was like 16. I would think about killing my family (who I'm really close to), stabbing people, killing people at school, pushing them off balconies, sometimes torture them, setting places on fire, hurting animals (this is the only one that made me feel guilty). I distinctly remember wanting to push a pregnant teacher down the stairs, because she could lose her baby and she would suffer from it. I don't think they were intrusive thoughts because I used to carefully plan those things and I felt satisfaction out of it, I liked the thought of seeing someone scared, feeling that power over them. I also had thoughts about wanting to jump off buildings, but I didn't exactly wanted to kill myself. And I remember feeling constantly angry.\n\nI never acted on it, of course, but I used to threat people a lot, draw and write disturbing things. They faded away by themselves without any intervention, so, in my head and based on the kind of people I got along with (I was in a Catholic school and most of us were there because we were kinda problematic) I thought it was just a phase and it was normal for a kid that age, but now my brother is 12 and he seems so mentally stable, so it made me question how normal actually this is. I've been diagnosed with panic disorder and slight depression, but I suspect ADHD, if that's important. I had it so normalised and I recently got a realization, like \"its probably not that normal\".\n\nAs it's been some years now I would probably ask my psychiatrist but since we're on quarantine, my last appointment was on march, so I would like to hear your thoughts about it. Thanks!\n\nTLDR; I used to feel pleasure out if thinking about hurting people and I thought it was because I was a teen but I want to know if it's actually \"normal\". I'm already in therapy, I'm just curious.", "post_id": "hundm6"}, {"question": "You can break up with her if you want. \n\nIf you don't want, you're gonna have to find some way of connecting with her that satisfies you that she's willing to participate in.  Can you describe that to her in non-complaining, positive terms?", "comment": "Hey guys,\nMy GF of a year is too shy and embarrassed to share things with me, he hardly speaks and rather prefers me to speak. Also, she is not a social person and prefers reading quietly most of the time. I am the exact opposite and it pisses me off when I have to go talking like a radio.\nI tried to ask her what in her mind and what bothering her, but she says she can figure it out too. There is too much negativity when I talk to her.\nPlease advice.\nCheers.", "post_id": "6ir23m"}, {"question": "If you want to actually teach him that his bad behavior undermines your relationship, you can't make yourself available for abusive conversations.  More importantly, if you want to be happy in life, you can't make yourself available for abusive conversations. Particularly not all-night bitch-fests about things that are beyond present remedy. \n\nIf he thought you were ruining his evening, he could have said something hours ago, if you think his complaints are toxic, you should protect yourself from them in real time, not hours later.  \n\nYou are both making critical errors, but you're only one with the insight to see that the whole dynamic is fucking gross.  \n\nDisengage. Hang up.", "comment": "Hey, Reddit. I don't know where else to turn. I don't have many close friends and most of my friends online are friends of my boyfriend too so I don't want to ask them for advice. I don't want them to think badly of him.\n\nWe're both 25 and met online through a game. He never had a relationship before, I had several. We've known each other for a couple of years but only really close since the start of this year. We met for the first time in august. We're currently in a long distance relationship (1 hour with plane apart) and spend most of the time apart playing games together. I love him so much because he is such a good person, when things are good. He is my best friend. However when we fight, he's starting to show me some really clear signs of emotional abuse and it scares me. I want some advice from someone, I need help to make him realize he has a huge part in our fights.\n\nPretty much all of the time when we fight it's because of some small, pointless thing that got blown out of proportion and grows bigger because he decides to stay angry at me, refusing to see his part in the fight. I will take yesterdays fight as an example since it's almost always the same story: We played games and I got a bit irritated/naggy at myself for performing bad (I understand this isn't fun to listen to, but it doesn't happen often and just few minutes later we were enjoying our time together again, or so I thought). He gave me a lot of shit for this \"bad behavior\" but we had fun after so I thought we were past it. Before bed time we talked and he sounded a bit off so after we hung up I asked if we were okay. He basically tells me I made his night awful and that he has way more fun with his other friends in the game than me (just because of me getting irritated at myself for few minutes, but he will forgive any of his other online friends if they have a bad day and not even mention it).\n\nI didn't understand why he couldn't just let it go, since we had a fun time after and were sweet to each other. He just had to keep exaggerating and making it a bigger deal than it was. We continued to chat for hours, I begged him several times if we can say sorry to each other (not because we necessarily think we're wrong but because we hurt each other), or if we can just agree to disagree, anything. But he stays angry over this tiny thing. I ask if he can forgive me for being grumpy for few minutes about the game earlier in the evening and he says \"I won't forgive you but I won't stay mad\". This is were I get vibes from emotional abuse. I asked him why it bothers him if I \"talk bad\" about my gaming performance and he says he \"hates signs of weakness\". He says he can't forgive people downtalking themselves (something I never do in real life, I'm very confident about my person). He starts writing \"If you ever do something like this in front of my family...\" and threaten me for what he knows is no purpose at all. I kept trying to have us stop fighting, I sent a picture of me where you happened to be able to see I had been crying, writing \"Wish you were in bed with me so I could hug you and make this go away\". Then he just replies \"WTF is this, what am I dating?\", calls me an over emotional drama queen and reminds me how much more fun he has in this game with others than me. To wrap it up, says \"I'm not a nice guy, I never claimed to be\". But he still also seems to truly believe everything is my fault. I feel so belittled, shut down and hopeless.\n\nIf we argue on the phone, he hangs up on me. He shuts me down and silences me every time I'm in a mood that doesn't please him. He tries to suppress me by bringing up things from the past, threatening me about things and calls me delusional if I try to point out what he's doing to me. Please help me, I ran out of words for what to say to him to try make him understand.  I tell him I'm not perfect and I can never be, and that we will have arguments and disagreements, it's normal. Just like I don't expect him to be super energetic and happy every day either. But he claims he doesn't ask for perfection. It's starting to feel like whatever I do it's the wrong thing.\n\nWe have the best time when we don't argue, we both agree on this. I don't want this relationship to end because of his stupid stubbornness and unability to see his mistakes. I want him to understand it's fine to argue in a relationship sometimes, but it's so important to know how to say sorry (something he doesn't do often) and forgive each other so things don't get blown out of proportion... Or just let me know, am I an emotional, delusional drama queen for getting upset about these things?", "post_id": "709aly"}, {"question": "The worst is when you can't remember your password, try multiple times, click forgot password, put a new one in then it says \"you can't use the same password as what is already set.\" FUCKING WHAT!?!?", "comment": "Don't get me started, how do normal people even remember 50 different passwords? \n\nOr does everyone use \"Macaroni79\" for everything they use? LOL", "post_id": "jgezaa"}, {"question": "i would say  \"yes, i just won the lottery and am moving to ST Bart's. Have a great life.\"", "comment": "My husband who left me for a colleague he knew for 3 weeks; who emptied our joint bank account and cancelled my credit cards a few days before the rent's due date just texted me asking \"is everything okay?\". Now I need the creative minds of reddit help me to give him the response of his life. Can you help me find the humor in this absurd situation? :)", "post_id": "5omge1"}, {"question": "Coming from a therapist's perspective, she didn't care, even if it was obvious. \n\nThat said, if you feel you should bring it up, do so. It's important to discuss any possible barriers to an optimal therapy experience. ", "comment": "Near the end of the therapy session, I was told that I was making progress which made me feel very happy and got a boner because of it.  I was really embarrassed and tried to hide it the best I could but I'm pretty sure it was obvious. The thing is I get boners all the time (even though I'm in my early 20s) so I thought that I was attracted to her (along with almost every girl who has given me attention).  \nAfter some thought I'm pretty sure I was attracted to the feeling of being acknowledged by a woman although I'm not sure if I wouldn't have gotten an erection if it had been from a man either.  \nI'm planning to bring it up in my next therapy session.    \n\nShould I tell her to refer me to another therapist? ", "post_id": "43ir0w"}, {"question": "Yes. It's self validating. I feel special", "comment": "Is anyone else feeling like this? It makes me feel important... idk", "post_id": "8n3u1q"}, {"question": "Honestly diagnosis is nowhere near as important as the actual symptoms you are experiencing and figuring out a way to handle them.  If you see a therapist you can always request that they don't disclose your diagnosis to you.  That way you wouldn't have to lie on life insurance forms.  Therapy with a counselor is generally the best bet.  Are you in the U.S.?", "comment": "Soooo if you feel you have a mental issue or mental block and it is affecting your life and relationships - but you're not quite sure what it is, or exactly how to describe it- where exactly do you go for a diagnosis?\nI'm not sure if it's depression, or anxiety or what. And I'm afraid of medication. I know how it can affect your life insurance, health insurance, long term disability etc. \n", "post_id": "6r7f4t"}, {"question": "when someone needs space you have no choice.   stay in touch, but keep moving on with your life.", "comment": "So we've been friends for a little over 5 years now. When I first started talking to her, she had a boyfriend.  They broke up a while later and I had a girlfriend. Bad timing,  whatever. \n\nFast forward to mid last year. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, then told the girl in question that I still have feelings for her. One drunken get together later, we make out. Dumb me thought it meant something (because she had a boyfriend at the time) and she would leave him. She told me she has had feelings for me, but she is happy where she is. \nOk. I pine over it a couple months and move on,  staying as friends.\n\nA few months ago, she got dumped after a few years off and on. I wait until she wants to talk and hangout, not trying to rush anything. We would hangout a few times a week and eventually got to the point where we were practically dating; sleeping together, hand holding, kissing,  what have you. \n\nAfter about a week of that, she says she's rushing into something she's not ready for. I get it and give her space. \nUp until last week, we have been talking every day, and see each other when our work schedules allow. (As friends)\nI got upset and told her again how I feel and how she shouldn't be stuck on her ex. So now she thinks we shouldn't talk for a while. \n\nHer best friend, also my friend says she should take a chance and work it out and tells me I just need to ignore her for a good while. While I miss talking to her and hanging out. What should I do?  She says she doesn't know when she'll be ready to be in another relationship. \nIt's been an interesting few months to say the least.\n\nSorry for long first post, but thanks for reading reddit!", "post_id": "5ptgrn"}, {"question": "Sounds like you might have social anxiety :) Have you thought about seeing a therapist? If you are a student, you probably have free counseling available to you through your school's counseling center. I recommend you schedule an appointment and see if they can help!", "comment": "So basically, anytime I am doing something, say walking outside, and i see people nearby, I usually turn around and walk somewhere else. Or if i see someone I haven't seen in a while, sometimes I pretend to not notice him until I am a good distance away.  \n  \nBasically, I just realized this that I might be afraid of people. I recently moved to the United States, and I must say that people here are very nice and smiling, even strangers on the street just say hi, Maybe I'm not used to it, but my stomach starts cramping, and I start sweating a lot.  \nHow should I overcome this. I go to the university here. Im a sophomore (I don't live on campus), I don't have any friends, I just can't talk to people. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!", "post_id": "4fwbob"}, {"question": "What about like foam mats? They have them for kids. I used to be a nanny and the people I worked for like covered their house with these like interlocking puzzle piece foam mats? Just an idea?", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "73cmbc"}, {"question": "everything great is hard work. if you hit a serious snag get prof. help", "comment": "Granted we are both kinda old. 39(F) 38(M) and both divorced with four kids total. So we kinda have lotsa baggage. We have been dating 1.5 yrs and it's just been one communication issue after another and some personality clashes, and plus our emotional baggages, it's just so hard. I don't even know if we are on the same page sometimes. Only thing that is working in our favor is we are still fighting for it to work. We don't sweep things under the carpet and we try to talk and deal with it as it comes. But it's exhausting too. I do feel we are communicating better and things are improving slowly but so many more things to iron out still. I have only been in one 18yr long relationship before this and the dynamic was completely different so I have no idea if this is normal or good or not. Need advice! ", "post_id": "61ecxt"}, {"question": "I think you gotta examine that trigger, however small.", "comment": "I started CBD about a year ago and am now on a 63 day Headspace streak. But this weekend has been the toughest in several months. Any advice on overcoming what seem to be a plateau? I know what set it off. Something small but a constant source of angst for me.", "post_id": "dxs4dp"}, {"question": "do not tell him; it will create huge insecurity. YOU have to decide about the kind of rel. you want. committed mono ltr, poly, or single", "comment": "The title is a pretty broad statement, and I will lay down background before anyone makes assumptions or general inferences that could be incorrect. \n\nI've been in my [22m] current relationship with my SO [20f] for over 2 1/2 years now, we have lived together for about a year and a half of that time. Before we lived together, we were LD for a year, besides when she lived here (separate from myself) for a summer. We have a very healthy relationship, we get along great, and many other people say we a great together. \n\nWe don't ever really get into fights about anything, we're both pretty easy going-with-the-flow type. We have sex regularly, go on dates, do pretty much everything outside of work together. We also each have \"alone time\" which for me is usually Saturdays (she works) and weeknights after I get off work before she gets home. It varies from a couple hours to 3-4 hours depending on her shifts. Her time being her days off during the week while I'm working, and in the morning before her shifts that start later.\n\nOverall we have a really great relationship and aside from small bickering, we get along pretty perfectly. So why the title then OP? Here goes.\n\nIn the last few months, I've found myself thinking about other women outside of my relationship. The thoughts are mostly sexual, me just wondering what it would be like to have sex with different women, sometimes random people, or sometimes women I know, or fantasizing about a girl in a nsfw picture, etc. I respect myself and my SO far too much to act on these desires. Even if I did want to, I'm terrible at socializing, specifically with the opposite gender. \n\nIs this a normal desire for someone my age? I also just started going to the gym more religiously in the last couple months, maybe this is because of a spike in testosterone? I've sort of always wanted to experiment with different types of girls and have always had a high sex drive. Also, I have only had sex with my current LTR, and my LTR in high school. I don't know what I should do, as sometimes the desires are stronger than others, but I would not cheat. Should I maybe see if she has had the same desires and talk about an open relationship? It would be very awkward to bring up as she would think something is up. \n\nTL;DR\nFor the last couple months I've been having sexual desires outside of my healthy LTR. Should I talk about my desires with SO, or just push them to the side?\n\nAny advice is welcomed and appreciated. Thank you in advance.", "post_id": "5s0v1z"}, {"question": "One of it is probably your personal temperment listen to your body. We\u2019re all different and tolerate different levels of arousal. \n\nThat being said therapy can help you lower your stress response significantly within your natural range. ", "comment": "I am moving to a big city in the near future. I have lived in a rural town all of my life, so there weren't a lot of people and it wasn't cramped. I have been in the city for a couple of weeks to visit and look for apartments and I don't like how I'm feeling. I have issues with personal space, probably from being physically and emotionally abused as a child, and being in stores next to people makes my blood boil and I want to scream and go away, even though they don't deserve it. It is suffocating and makes me want to rip my skin off. I view everyone as a threat. In my hometown, I would only go out shopping when I knew there weren't a lot of people around to combat this.\n\nI don't know how to change this. How can I live in a city like this? I need to move to a city for the sake of better jobs and education. Anyone else feel this way?\n", "post_id": "98du30"}, {"question": "> \"You're not depressed. You don't need pills to make you happy. You can beat this!\" \n\nYou have a medical problem called depression. You need some form of medical help from a  professional to get healthy. You have the power to overcome this, but not alone.\n\nAnd most importantly, you deserve to be healthy and happy... not because of your family or friends or situation. But because you are a human with some wonderful qualities that can't properly shine because you are suffering from a physical, real disease. \n\nPlease reach out to a doctor, therapist, or counselor. Do NOT think \"Well my depression isn't bad enough.\" If it's bothering you at all, it is worthy of treatment just like any disease. You. Deserve. To. Be. Healthy. Hell, even healthy people can benefit a lot from talking to a counselor or mentor. Think of it as a check-up for your brain. \n\nTalk to your doctor. Google therapists in your area. Talk to your boss or your family about it, maybe they can sit down with you while you do it. It sounds like you have a wonderful support network, so I know they'll be willing and ready to help. ", "comment": "im not good at putting thoughts into words and i tend to ramble so \n\nI'm not happy. I want to be happy. I want to stop crying. I want to believe when people say nice things to me...\n\nI have a loving family, great parents, great brother who's been like a second father to me. Great friends who only want to see happy and they jump through hoops just to help me. I got an okay job, great and nice employees, wonderful boss. I have so much good in my life so why do I lie in bed and cry? Why do I see myself as shit then I have so many people telling me otherwise. Why do I never feel like I can be myself around people? I don't understand this or this disease. I've felt it for years yet I've been fighting myself and telling myself, \"You're not depressed. You don't need pills to make you happy. You can beat this!\" but I can't. I feel so defeated and every year it gets worse and worse.\n\nI play video games to escape this, and it helps sometimes. I'm very competitive so I usually playing Overwatch or Tekken ranked. Competition helps keep me grounded I guess. Helps me forget. Sometimes I get angry but nothing over the top.\n \nThis week was shit. I've been stuck inside this darkness that I can't seem to leave. Every moment I'm alone with my thoughts is a moment my own my begins to suffocate my own emotions. I think about how shitty of a person I am, how I don't deserve anything good I have and that ultimately I'm worthless. Why do I do this to myself? Even writing this I'm fighting back tears. I just want to be happy. This week I finally just have to admit that I am depressed. I'm just like my mother who fought so hard to make sure I didn't become like she was. Depressed and wanting to just \"go away\". She's still fighting. For me and the rest of her family but, I'm not sure I can.", "post_id": "75v3ux"}, {"question": "yes.always", "comment": "I started dating this girl from college 4 months ago. I've never had a girlfriend before and she has no experience either. She's the sweetest, most incredible person, and I obviously like her a lot.\n\nThe thing is, she feels stronger than me. I know this because she said she's in love with me like 2 months ago. She fell very hard. I like her, as I said, but I just don't feel love. I don't even know what that feels like, because I'm so young and inexperienced, I don't even know how she does either. But I know I'd want to say it if I felt it.\n\nI've been completely honest in telling her where I stand and that I don't love her back. She says she's fine with that and still wants to be with me.\n\nWe both say that we are just taking our relationship day by day, in the moment, which is reassuring to me, but honestly I sometimes question if she means that. She talks about how she is so blessed I came into her life, she thinks there's a reason for it, etc. She's framed pictures of us in her room and it honestly seems like she's fantasizing a lot and acts as if I'm in love with her too, even though she knows I'm not.\n\nObviously there's no guarantee I will fall in love with her ever, it's just the truth, I don't even know how ready I am to be in love at this age in my first relationship. I'm enjoying it now and comfortable taking it day by day and seeing where things go. But I worry about the future sometimes, I don't want to hurt her, but I feel uneasy about the potential direction things could go in. Should I have another talk just to be extra clear and honest with where I stand?\n\n---\n\n**tl;dr**: Only been dating girlfriend for 4 months, she's openly in love with me. I've been honest telling her I am not in love with her back and she says she doesn't care right now. I feel like she pretends everything's still so perfect despite her clear stronger feelings. I like her a lot and want to be with her now, but I don't want to hurt her in the long run even though I've been honest. Should I talk to her about this again to be extra clear and honest?", "post_id": "6tu55v"}, {"question": "There is an app call \"DUE\" that is pretty cool. It provides a simple to do item but unlike other apps the alarm will ping once a minute until you either snooze or complete the task. Helpful if you often miss reminders initially. ", "comment": "I have tried Habitica, but it doesn't alert me to my do tos and it won't reset at night (so all my checked off items are still checked off. I prefer an app that is interactive like an ROG where you level up and get stuff.", "post_id": "6o0uw4"}, {"question": "Xanax is helpful in the short term, but it is a poor choice for long term management of anxiety and honestly wouldn\u2019t be my first, second, or third choice for even rare, sporadic, short-term management.\n\nTalk to a doctor with an open mind.", "comment": "I (25M)haven\u2019t been to the doctors in a long time and I was thinking of going because lately my stress levels have been high because of work and school.\n\nI was wondering how I should talk about my situation with my doctor without him thinking I\u2019m some sort of druggie (I feel like many doctors don\u2019t believe young people anymore cause so many abuse drugs)\n\nI have taken a friends Xanax before and it seemed to calm me down and it finally made me in a relaxed mood. After this i figured I\u2019d talk with a doctor because it actually made me feel normal for once.\n\nI\u2019ve been stressed out for years but like I said above, it\u2019s starting to get worse now that I\u2019m starting college and working my full time job again.\n\nSo would it be a red flag for doctors is I ask about specific drugs or should they prescribe me other things first?", "post_id": "cz7pb0"}, {"question": "I have never heard of a can't miss open mic night. Is someone you care about performing?  Meet up with guy. Go for that one performance. Say hi to your friends. Bail. ", "comment": "I recently started seeing a guy I met in one of my college academic clubs. We have EVERYTHING in common from music to our dream career. He asked me on a date, it went amazing, and he wanted a second date. I said instead we should go to a local open mic downtown because we both love live music. He agreed, and plans to meet my friends and I down there (I was going there tomorrow with my friends anyways, I just included him in the plans).\n\nWell, the two friends I invited ended up inviting a bunch of other friends, and I quickly realized he might get scared off. I am the exact opposite of all my friends. They are really in to hooking up, they dress way more provocatively, and are HUGE flirts. When they go out they can't drink casually, they need to do 10 shots and go home sloppy drunk and crying.\n\nI'm worried he will get scared off. I know two of the girls just got dumped a few days ago and specifically told me they couldn't wait to get hammered and talk to me about it.\n\nThe thing is... I do NOT want to miss this open mic, I've been excited about it for a few weeks and was going without him anyways. My solution is to go with the guy and see my friends down there, but sit alone with him. During the show they won't be able to walk around, so I'll be alone with him.\n\nHowever, part of me wonders if the two of us should just go somewhere different and I come up with a lie to get out of going with my friends.\n\nShould I bite the bullet and introduce him to my friends who DEFINITELY will be drunk, definitely will be handing out their numbers to guys, and most likely will hit on him or cry? Or should I go alone with him, or do something else?\n\n**tl;dr:** I like this new guy and he plans to meet my friends and I down at an open mic tomorrow, but my friends like getting sloppy drunk and might scare him off since I am the opposite. Should I still take him, or find another last minute idea and ditch my friends?", "post_id": "6dm78r"}, {"question": "Have you ever been evaluated by psychologist/psychiatrist?  You could be experiencing low level depression or undiagnosed ADHD (which might explain the energy, happiness, and ability to focus when given a lot of external stimulation but depression when all those things aren't there at once).  There's really no way to tell for sure unless you can get an official evaluation.  \n\nOther than that, it may help to find ways to make your home life more exciting with engaging activities that require work to get better at and increased in-person social activities.  \n\nBest of luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "Alright, so its the weirdest thing. When I go to school, everything is fine. I have plenty of friends, a sweet girl, hobbies, great grades. I am always bustling with energy and something to do. However, as soon as I get home everything fades away. The world becomes colorless. I can't determine why this is happening. I take a lot of psychology classes, I understand how the brain functions, and I keep it full of new things all the time. I just learned a new coding language, how to make a hydrolic system, and created many designs for things I want to make. But alas, everything is still a colorless, static, and boring life. Something is awry, as if a terrible thing has happened; but everywhere I check I'm am returned with nothing but great news. If anyone has any ideas as to what could be causing this, or how to determine a source of this lifelessness please do tell. \n\nThank You", "post_id": "7xp02f"}, {"question": "This depends largely on a therapist 's theoretical orientation.  You probably won't do much of this work with a CBT therapist,  for example , but might with a psychodynamic therapist.", "comment": "I believe there's theories of psychology that talk about how we're all driven by underlying subconscious drives and motives.\n\nHow much of modern day therapy is influenced by those theories? I know therapists ask clients a lot of self introspective questions(How do you think/feel about X, why do you think you think/feel Y, etc)", "post_id": "g2a2ai"}, {"question": "This is interesting because it relates to research on introversion.  If you think of Asperger's as extreme introversion, it makes sense.  Here is why:\n\nIntroverts tend to show greater neurological reaction to all kinds of stimulus.  Extroverts have lesser reactions.  So, to achieve optimal arousal (in a psychological sense) introverts need a calmer environment and extroverts need a more active environment.\n\nA quiet library might be heaven for an introvert and suffocating for an extrovert.  The opposite would be true at a dance club.\n\nIt as an actual, physical, neurological difference between introverts and extroverts.\n\nI don't know exactly what my point is, except that you shouldn't feel like your reaction to over-stimulation is unnatural.  It is absolutely natural.  You can't help it.  Maybe you can explain this to your extrovert friends.", "comment": "As I always say, it's unsure I have Asperger's Syndrome.\n\nNow, my problem. As my anxiety rises I experience really sensory problems. I sense really too much. Everything can bug me until I do a panic attack. Even when I'm not that I experience sensory overloads and it is really problematic. Also, rare are those who believe me since they do not experience such overloads and I have problem communicating how much I suffer from it. \n\nAnyways, do you have tricks to deal with those? I already have earplugs but it's not working enough and it makes my ears ache. Also, how can I tell it to others well?", "post_id": "1escu4"}, {"question": "It differs from doctor to doctor.  If you're experiencing depression and anxiety, especially if it's onset is fairly recent and it's severe, most good doctors want to try to rule out medical issues first.  There are so many medical issues that can contribute to depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc. that no anti-depressant or therapy is going to solve and may cause more serious health problems if left untreated ie. thyroid issues, untreated diabetes, severe vitamin/mineral deficiencies, etc.\n\nWhile most patients would prefer to have the doctor that just writes them a script, I think taking these steps are probably in your best interest.  Lastly, if you're experiencing depression/anxiety and medical issues have been ruled out,  you'll most likely benefit much more from therapy or therapy w/psych meds than you would from psych meds alone.     ", "comment": "So yesterday I went to a doctor at a walk in clinic. I told them I was having depression and anxiety and that it was pretty bad. They told me I needed blood work done and an ecg, they prescribed me sleeping pills instead of antidepressants. Is this normal? I had a friend who went and the doctor gave him antidepressants that same day and they didn't need a ecg. \n\nI just want to know if this is normal or if maybe they do not believe me or misdiagnosed me. \n\nThanks.\n\n", "post_id": "9r0kl0"}, {"question": "Yes, because I also have ADHD. ", "comment": "It seems like I just can't stay focused properly. Sometimes, I have this thing that I need to read the same line 5 times, not necessarily because I wasn't paying inuff attention, but because it's a kind of compulsion.\nThey say it's all a matter of practice. But i've already tried a lot and nothing seem to improve my situation. It still feels painfull to read.\n\nDoes autism can affect reading in that sense?", "post_id": "9eifd8"}, {"question": "Looks like I found a spot to host my Therapeutic RPG Group for Teens in the city by me!  When I first \"started the practice\", in full ADHD mode, I found a spot in the burbs near where I live, built a website, and blitz advertised all around the area.  \n\n\nAfter a couple months went by, I couldn't even get enough clients to start the first group.  I had more D&D playing adults saying they wanted to work for me than I had parents signing their kids up.  \n\n\nI lost motivation, got discouraged, and in my typical ADHD fashion, got distracted with other projects.  I recently caught myself, forced myself to throw myself back into this thinking if I moved it into the city rather than the burbs, I'd have a better chance of it taking off!  \n\n\nLo and behold, not only am I on the cusp of getting a spot in the city in my old neighborhood, but one where I may not even have to pay any rent to run my practice out of!  \n\nBig lesson I learned from this, if I want something bad enough, don't let minor or even major setbacks kill my interest.  My impulses will tell me to move on to the next interesting thing, but if I keep going back and trying to make something work, it will.\n\nThanks for giving me a place to brag/celebrate!", "comment": "hold up, hold up, woah  \nlets stop drowning in rants and depression real quick  \nyou see this shit? not very fun. and i understand why  \ni know why this is filled with depressing rants and stuff  \nbut i want a fun post to cheer people up a bit, is that a bit much to ask some?  \nto want to hit me up with some of that good stuff?  \nso. how do ya do, what has been going on, anything good? any news about games, or work, or achievements or friends, anything at all?", "post_id": "bs200m"}, {"question": "Confidence is sexy, not dick size.", "comment": "I've been trying to be more confident about it, but it's to the point where I've been subconsciously avoiding flirting with girls. I don't know why, because that really shouldn't be doing it because of that but damn. ", "post_id": "11d1fi"}, {"question": "Ultimately its a sedating antihistamine. In the UK its only licenced for itch. 100mg is the maximum recommended dose. ", "comment": "25 Male 250lbs 5' 10\" Caucasian \n\nOther medications are Prozac 40 mg/day\n\nI was prescribed hydroxyzine for anxiety. The goal is to just take the edge off to actually relax and not feel like I'm on edge all the time. Doctor gave me 50mg tabs to get more bang for the buck on insurance. \n\nDo the effect of hydroxyzine amplify with taking more?\nHow much is a dangerous amount? I've taken 300 mg and not felt much\nIs it worth asking the doctor for something else or just upping the dosage until the desired effect is achieved?\n\nThanks for any help and feedback!", "post_id": "8aes2t"}, {"question": "Toxic relationship. Move on. Focus on yourself for awhile, heal from the shit relationships you've had and find happiness outside of other people. When the time is right you'll find someone else who you can connect with emotionally, intellectually and sexually when you're ready. ", "comment": ".", "post_id": "2s8wgq"}, {"question": "DBT could be a good fit. Given that it is very skills-based, some with ADHD find that it can work well for them since you can \u201ctrain\u201d yourself to use the skills and remember them better since many are remembered by mnemonic device. \n\nEdit: spelled mnemonic wrong \ud83d\ude01", "comment": "If I don\u2019t have this disorder, then I\u2019m afraid I am just mentally deficient in some way I\u2019ll never really know and I will never actually feel that my struggles are valid. \n\nMy chronically depression addled brain and low self esteem leads me to believe I\u2019m just plain dumb. I never did very well in school. Barely graduated high school and had pretty consistently low grades up until college, when I managed something like a 3.6 gpa (majored in illustration, so just generals and art classes.) \nI continue to struggle just being able to focus and process/retain information. I feel mentally slow a lot of the time.\n\nI have been \u201ctested\u201d using that simple short questionnaire. It was suspected that I \u201cmay\u201d have ADHD inattentive type. I was on strattera years ago. I believe I was prescribed this after having this urine test done that showed what brain..chemicals I was deficient in? It might have been dopamine? I\u2019m not even sure. I don\u2019t even remember why I went off it or how well it worked. I\u2019m guessing not that well if I decided to go off it. My long term memory is kind of terrible. \n\nAnyway, I have been prescribed Ritalin XR (and adderall XR, both for short periods. I gave up on both because I didn\u2019t feel any noticeable change, except for some depressive episodes that seemed worse than usual. But then, I haven\u2019t been on any adhd meds for a few weeks and had another episode (it\u2019s always after work that I really crash) so...I just don\u2019t know. Looking into it, I have a lot of the symptoms but not all so it makes me think maybe I don\u2019t quite fit the diagnosis?\n\nI don\u2019t know if there\u2019s some ADHD specialist I need to see before I\u2019m convinced that I even have this or not but I\u2019m in a low place right now and just wanted to get this off my chest. Kind of hoping I could get some feedback, too. ", "post_id": "aa23pp"}, {"question": "7 cups not only sounds like a bad porno, but it also scares the crap out of me in terms of what its trying to achieve.\n\nI just cant see how it can clearly manage any acute mental health risk. The volunteers might as well be lay people, but people using the service have a higher likelihood to have complex interpersonal needs secondary to trauma.\n\nIf theres a lesson for all - and stating the obvious - stick to regulated services who can be accountable for its actions. In the UK it would be the NHS and some mental health charities, who provide various trauma-focussed care and treatment and support, with appropriately qualified individuals.", "comment": "Survivor of sexual assault here. 7 cups is a shady organization that I would NOT recommend. After I disclosed my trauma, the volunteer who matched with me talked about what sex he likes and asked me about my porn preferences. He seemed to honestly believe that he's helping. \n\nI was in full blown trauma, and this asshat uses that as an invitation for a graphic sexual conversation, and pretends that that will cure me. \n\nI tried to report him, but no there was no such function in the app. I tried to post about it in their subreddit, but it said I'm not allowed to post there. \n\nThey are closed off to feedback from people who have been harmed by trusting their service.\n\nThey are trying to extract money by up-selling people to talk to real therapists. So it's in their interest to be shitty when you're not paying. \n\nCrisis text line, on the other hand, background checks their volunteers and puts them through 30 hours of mandatory training before they are allowed to talk to anyone. And it's a legitimate non-profit. I learned my lesson and will talk with someone at crisistextline in the future instead of a shady for-profit startup.", "post_id": "gt4bk3"}, {"question": "Thank you. I think that is a good strategy alright. ", "comment": "Gently place the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb on both hands with the other fingers gently outstretched.\n\nYou've probably seen people do this during meditation. This activates a calming, relaxing sensation to your body and mind. It actually works! Try it right now for 5 minutes.\n\nYou can do this whenever you want for as long as you want. Please leave feedback and let me know how this works for you :)", "post_id": "94f4qp"}, {"question": "Probably not. If it were just anticholinergic effects, less anticholinergic medications (e.g. many SSRIs) would not help. Also, as you probably are aware, taking clomipramine doesn't give you amnesia. You still remember what happened and are aware of your situation; you just hopefully feel differently about it.", "comment": "I'm a 30 yo male. 155 lb. 5'6\". Non smoker. Currently taking clomipramine, risperidone, clonazepam and modafinil. These are prescribed for ocd (primarily) and major depressive disorder.", "post_id": "bhbft1"}, {"question": "This is a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy. Because bad things happened after Accutane, you ascribe the bad things to Accutane. There's no way to run an experimental world in which your life is the same but you didn't take Accutane, so there's no way to prove that it was unrelated\u2014but millions of people take Accutane at an age when chronic illnesses can develop, and it's unsurprising that in some people they do, unrelated to Accutane.", "comment": "Hello docs,\n\nI took isotretinoin (I believe it was absorica) at age 18 in 2013, was reassured by doctor that it was quite safe and side effects are temporary, to notify him if serious/life-threatening issues arose. \n\nThe course of the medication:\n\nmo. 1: 40mg - dry lips + a little dry skin\n\nmo. 2: 40mg - dry lips + drier skin\n\nmo. 3: 50mg - dry lips + skin, joints aching, knees sore\n\nmo. 4: 40mg - knees still sore, eyes a bit try (used eye drops)\n\nMy doctor wasn't worried about the side effects at all, my blood results were all good and normal, but the side effects bothered me so I quit. 2 weeks after quitting joint aches went away, but my eyes became incredibly dry (couldn't look at a computer for longer than a few minutes without severe burning pain).\n\nEyes progressively got worse, then afterwards (a month or so), I developed IBS.\n\nAround the same time, my eyes developed awful floaters everywhere :( Nothing looks the same, it's awful. I also started noticing that I have a horrible memory and I struggle badly with brain fog.\n\nDue to memory loss + dry eyes, I had to change my career. I've been diagnosed with MGD (meibomian gland dysfunction), a permanent and progressive degenerative condition of the glands in the eyes. None of this runs in my familial history at all and I didn't have any of these issues before I stopped the drug.\n\nNow almost 6 years later I am still dealing with all this damage that only seems to be getting worse! Severely affecting my ability to have any kind of quality of life. I feel awful all the time with pain and this damage is just horrible.\n\nHere's some medical info:\n\nAge: 23\n\nG: Male, race: caucasian\n\nBlood pressure: 132/84, heart rate: 80\n\nAll blood tests are within normal ranges, tested for autoimmune markers, all normal. I've seen an ophthalmologist, a neurologist, psychiatrists, a GI doc, and my GP. When I went back to tell my original dermatologist that I developed IBS, eye issues, and brain fog AFTER accutane he said it was 'just a coincidence' and he didn't think it was related to the drug!\n\nYet after joining a facebook group and talking to other people (a couple have posted here asking about it) so many other patients have the same issue!\n\n***TL;DR:*** So, my question is, I have all these horrible life-ruining damaging effects that started after I stopped taking accutane, my dermatologist says they are unrelated but I was perfectly healthy before. What causes these post-accutane effects to start after you're not even taking the drug? Why are more doctors not taking this seriously and telling you that the side effects can happen not just during, but also after you stop it? \n\nThank you!", "post_id": "e3ephv"}, {"question": "Why are you worried that you have low testosterone if you don't know what the symptoms are? Hypogonadism is actually uncommon.", "comment": "How would i know if i have low testosteron  im worried i might have low testosteron\n\nwhat are the symptoms i shuld look for to indicate i might have it or not ? im kinda embarsed about asking about it to be honest but i am worried \n\nAge,32 Sex, M  Height, 172 cm Weight 98,5 kg , Race white ,", "post_id": "cvbrmu"}, {"question": "She's below the age of consent. She's 13 and is going to be anxious about a LOT of things. Give her plenty of space and don't be pushy about ANYTHING.Be a gentleman. Be a gentle, sweet friend.", "comment": "Hi I'm just curious about people's opinions and some advice on the current relationship I'm in. I'm a 15 yr old boy and I'm currently dating a 13 yr old girl we both don't have a problem about our ages but I've been copping a bit from some of my friends. Myself I've been through a few relationships and all bin unsuccessful to some extent she has bin through a few relationships and some very bad experiences no one should be put through she tends to get really anxious a lot and doesn't wanna see me sometimes cause she doesn't want me too see her when she's super anxious sos I'm just curious if people's opinions and what to be careful of. ", "post_id": "6yunp8"}, {"question": "You might find a weighted blanket helpful and deep breathing before bed. Maybe listen to a guided meditation.", "comment": "It really makes it difficult to sleep. So many exciting thoughts floating through my mind.", "post_id": "acoyf6"}]
\ No newline at end of file
+[{"question": "Disclaimer: I am not an infectious disease specialist and do not treat Lyme disease.\n\nYou left out a critical piece of information: are you having any symptoms? If not, after three months it's unlikely that you have been infected with Lyme disease, as you're past the usual incubation period. It's reasonable but probably not necessary to test. It's also not clear to me whether your doctor ordered the test and antibiotics, or whether he ordered the test and told you what antibiotics he would prescribe if it is positive. The latter makes sense. The former is not great practice unless you are having symptoms suggestive of Lyme infection.\n\nThe testing is often falsely negative very early in infection. Three months in is not early, as your doctor said, and the sensitivity of the test is good. Treatment works even later in infection, but yes, the earlier you are treated the more likely it is to work and the less likely you are to have symptoms.\n\nChronic Lyme disease is not an accepted disease or diagnosis among physicians, and \"Lyme literate\" is generally interpreted as \"prone to quackery and over\\-treating a non\\-existent condition with potentially dangerous medications at significant cost.\" I would be very careful with Lyme subreddits; this is a field of medicine where there is a lot of misinformation and pseudo\\-medicine floating around, especially online. There are sometimes symptoms that last after the Lyme infection has been treated, but that's not a chronic infection and antibiotics are not helpful.\n\nDoxycycline for 50 days is longer treatment than is recommended, and I'm curious as to why. It does match what I think were the old standards, and the difference between 4 and 7 weeks of treatment isn't enormous.", "comment": "-\t26\n-\tMale\n-\tUSA\n\nI have a few questions. During my physical yesterday I told my doctor about a tick bite I received 3 months ago and he is testing me for Lyme. \n\nHe did the Lyme Disease Ab with Reflex to Blot (IgG, IgM). I guess there\u2019s one part to the test, if that part is positive they do a Blot test. [Here\u2019s](https://www.questdiagnostics.com/testcenter/TestDetail.action?ntc=6646&searchString=) the exact test.\n\nHe said that three months after the bite isn\u2019t considered early stage, but wants to prescribe me Doxycycline for 50 days (100mg 2x per day). \n\nI\u2019m a little concerned since I\u2019ve read that if it isn\u2019t treated early with Doxycycline that it won\u2019t work. People also say the testing isn\u2019t that accurate. I would hate to develop Chronic Lyme (or whatever they call it) and have long term issues. \n\nAny professional medical advice on the testing and if his proposed treatment is proper? People at the Lyme subreddit say you need a Lyme Literate Doctor and IV treatment...but I\u2019ve also read about negative side effects. \n\nAny feedback or advice would be appreciated. Thanks!", "post_id": "8pu8zl", "comment_id": "e0e2uj3"}, {"question": "Just take the comment to her friend \"I shouldn't be in this world,\" and go directly to a school counselor.  Say you're worried that she'll hurt herself and that she has a history of attempts.\n\nGet help mobilized now. Then you won't feel held hostage. ", "comment": "just for some background information. I'm 15 years old, and I'm pretty shy.\n\nSo I go to a technical school with 30 kids in my grade. I have been dating this girl for about 5 months now, but it's really nothing serious. I haven't told my parents yet, and I don't think I ever will because I want to break up with her. I'm honestly just not happy in the relationship, and I'm too much of a wuss to tell my parents. I really do not enjoy being with this girl, and I want to break up.\n\nThis girl has had a troubled past, and has tried taking her life on multiple occasions before I met her. She told me that I am the only reason that she is alive, and that kind of makes me scared. I have a feeling that if I break up with her, she is going to take her life. Yesterday I had an argument with her, and we didn't talk for a while, and she told her friend that she shouldn't be in this world.\n\nThis girl also will not take advice from counseling, and is very stubborn, even with life problems\n\nI know this is not the right place, or maybe it is. But I do not want to be the reason that someone dies. I'm 15 years old and I can't live with this", "post_id": "6dyjfs", "comment_id": "di6ckha"}, {"question": "you're describing shyness and possibly anxiety. no way of knowing if she's an introvert.  just chat, go slow...  if she's receptive a bunch of times, ask her for coffee.", "comment": "Ok. So, i am a junior in high school. I recently developed a crush on this stunningly amazing looking girl, (Who precarious to this situation is actually quite outgoing on social media, which i of course read and find that she's pretty amazing) but there's one problem. She's the most shy, quiet, socially anxious person on the planet. I've only heard her speak on 3 occasions in the past year. She sits alone during breaks and when there's a social event, she sorta just stands next to a group of people listening and looking around. My question is, How do i approach her, and how do i get to a point where she feels comfortable enough to at least reply with one word answers to questions i have, or even better, to the point where i can ask her out with a fighting chance?\n\n\nEdit: I made this account a long time ago, so don't let my name make you think i'm some troll or that i'm immature. I was when i made this account, but I've realized what an idiot i was a while back.\n\n\nEdit: If this info makes any difference, she admits she is an introvert and that she's very shy on social media all the time. \n\nEdit: Sorry, more background info. I've \"known\" her since elementary, but I've never really talked to her. Like at all. She knows of me, and we have a class together (Band), She doesn't have any close friends, I know many of her interests. Thought i should include all that in case that makes a difference in advice.", "post_id": "5px59f", "comment_id": "dcujt5y"}, {"question": "Check out Smart Recovery (science based, goal focused) or Refuge Recovery (Buddhist based, incorporates meditation). You could also try ACA (adult children of alcoholics/dysfunctional families) if you feel it is coming from a place of childhood trauma.", "comment": "hey all, i'm not really the biggest fan of the 12 step format, but sometimes 12 step groups are the only thing that can calm me down or help (especially bc of a lack of any other addiction support group in my city) - & bc of sum of my issues w/ alcohol i've been 2 quite a few AA meetins b4... \n\nlately it's been more than jus the alcohol tho, i've been hurtin myself a lot, or bein reckless gettin myself hurt on purpose (not in a self harm way, it's not bc i'm sad really, it's not like cuttin or whatever... it just like it i guess, & i can't help it) \n\ni've kinda realized it feels rlly similar to my alcohol use, kinda like i'm addicted 2 the pain \n\nwhat kinda support group could i go 2 for this???  should i jus go 2 SAA (it's not sexual, but i feel like maybe SAA might have sum people w/ similar issues?)? or is there something else that would be kinda helpful ?  AA isn't really doing it 4 me anymore.... is there general 12 step meetings 4  general addictions? i jus want a support group w/ ppl who understand & won't judge me... is this 2 niche, or is there seomthing 4 this?\n\nthnx in advance guys \n\nTL;DR is there any support group 4 reckless behavior or pain addiction?", "post_id": "c0n9qh", "comment_id": "er677h0"}, {"question": "This is not gaslighting,  but I have a few ideas of what it might be.\n\n\nOne possibility: collateral damage from a therapist trying to do both individual and couples therapy.  While not explicitly forbidden,  this arrangement is generally frowned upon and often unethical.  Sure, it can be done well , but what you are describing is a great example of what can go wrong. If the therapist is working to validate you both during individual,  she may say things (even truthfully ) during a session to one person that is not reflective of the big picture problem in couples therapy.\n\nFor example , if I told an individual \"thank you so much for being genuine with me\" or \"i get the impression you are being very genuine \" and then later told his partner that I see the same people -pleasing pattern that she sees, neither is necessarily a lie. The problem comes in the comparing sessions. \n\nAnother possibility is that during this phase , it may not be therapeutic to confront your partner on his problematic behaviors.  Maybe she is building trust and rapport.  I worked with abusive men for years and for a time worked exclusively with narcissistic men. I can't tell you how many wives thought their husbands had me fooled. \"You don't see that he _____.\" I definitely see, but confronting too early on means losing him and his buy-in to work. Just because I validate something doesn't mean I am unaware of a problem. \n\nAnother possibility is that your partner 's version of events is different than your therapist 's. Has this happened in other settings? If he ever avoids accountability or blame,  or uses an expert opinion to make himself look better, this could be what is going on. Also, if he ever puts a self-serving twist on events,  this could be thr case. Lots of people tell their partners something about therapy that is skewed in their favor. I have also heard patients tell their partner I said something I absolutely didn't. \n\n\nTo clarify,  gaslighting is lies and manipulation with the intent of making someone question their sanity . This doesn't seem to be the case, based on your description. \n\nI suggest you share these concerns with your therapist . If possible, it may be better to see separate individual therapists.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "gygxax", "comment_id": "ftaie2r"}, {"question": "It would not be inappropriate in and of itself. However, a card or a note is more common. Personally, I think the homemade bread means more but therapists (and people in general) are sometimes weird about homemade food from clients.", "comment": "My therapist is amazing. I'm seen at the VA. I love to bake bread and my fave recipe makes two loaves. She helped me recognize some unhealthy behaviors to do with my hobbies, like baking and sewing. I want to bring her one of the loaves, partly to demonstrate that I'm back to doing the things I enjoy because of her. Would this be innapropriate? If it is, is there another way to show my appreciation that isn't overstepping boundaries? TIA", "post_id": "bmw2em", "comment_id": "en04uiy"}, {"question": "AASECT is the organization for sex therapists. You can find someone through there who will be more qualified to deal with this.  If you have acted on the attraction with someone who is a minor (like under the age of 14 while you are over 14) yes that could be reported. If you have not then no it is not reportable unless you state that you have means (access), intent, and a plan to do act on it. If you yourself have been sexually abused as a minor by someone older that person will be reported (not you).", "comment": "Please check my post history for more info. No this is not some sick joke.\n\nI'm only 16 but I need a therapist. What am I supposed to do about getting treatment when there is mandated reporting? If I open up to a therapist about this they will have to report me, no? I have never looked at or done anything illegal and I never will, but I don't think that stops me from being reported. Please help", "post_id": "fgujm1", "comment_id": "fk7zg0h"}, {"question": "nothing is exciting like newness.  life is about trade-offs.  the choice is serial short-lived newness or long-lived not-newness.  the people who opt for the latter welcome the security, stability and constancy of long-lived-love ", "comment": "The thing is that after a while, the person I'm with starts to get boring. The initial spark is gone and well, I lose interest. I guess the part where you get to know all these things about a stranger is the most exciting to me. \nI don't know what to do about it and I've had my fair share of bad break ups because of this. Any kind of guidance is much appreciated.\n", "post_id": "5u2vc9", "comment_id": "ddqxhd5"}, {"question": "do you have a therapist?", "comment": "Self-harm is something I have struggled with on and off for years. I recently went through a very tough time and one night couldn't stop myself. It's like a go into autopilot and once the decision has been made there's no logical thinking or reasoning with myself to stop. Anyway, after this I realised what a mistake I had made, as my boyfriend would see (not something I have had to deal with before) I knew he would think it was weird if I suddenly stopped being naked around him, so after a little freak out, I decided to just forget about it and whatever happens happens. Fast forward a couple days and things are getting heated in the bedroom, with the lights on and I'm so caught up I forget to stop it before he sees. He pulls off my pants, and my shredded thighs are exposed. \nNothing.\nWe have sex and I think maybe he just didn't want to make me feel bad in the moment and he'll talk to me after but\nnothing.\nHe still hasn't even mentioned seeing them, let alone anything else and it been a few weeks. \nShould I be concerned that he hasn't asked about it? Or asked why? Or even mentioned seeing them. Or not worry.\nIts like he hasn't seen them. It makes me feel like doing more as if maybe he's not mentioning because it wasn't enough/deep enough to be of concern, it's making everything worse, I want to prove to him m self-harm is worth worrying about. But I know that's just my anxiety reaction.\nI have no one to talk to about this because I don't want to let any of my friends know I'm self-harming because I will feel so stupid and weak. \n\nTLDR; Boyfriend saw fresh self-harm and didn't say anything. What should I do? If anything ", "post_id": "6ze4yc", "comment_id": "dmus4z9"}, {"question": "Honestly, this is a super tricky question to answer that is going to vary by state and specific licensure, and it is especially complicated and varied *right now*, when a lot of states are offering flex that does not normally exist. (But not all states!)\n\nI know a number of therapists at our local university's Counseling Center and am vaguely aware of their current procedures for the many clients who are currently out-of-state. According to them, many states are simply not accessible in any way (and the Counseling Center is really bending over backwards to help get as many students as possible connected). Further, the therapists I know who are seeing out-of-state telehealth clients have a limited number of states where they are able to practice, and have to keep track of fairly wide range of laws and policies to ensure they are on the up-and-up. \n\nMy clinic has expanded telehealth services to serve the whole state, but no one outside the state.", "comment": "Hello everyone I am interested in how exactly this works. Would they be able to or would they have to get a license for that state? For example would a PA therapist be able to see a client in say Montana? ", "post_id": "hn7dma", "comment_id": "fx9zyhl"}, {"question": "Why? Because he's angry and insane. What does he want? Nothing you'd want to give him. \n\nFollow through on the restraining order if at all possible. ", "comment": "I am in my early 30's I have had 4 ex\u2019s. I married the 5th man I dated. First 2 guys were insignificant relationships.\nThe third guy I dated, We both were serious and after 2 years of being in a relationship. He broke up with me The fourth guy  was my rebound-  I didn't connect, I did not share or I didn't really do anything much apart from sex. This guy didn't fall in love with me, had a controlling mother- who called me a \u201cconcubine\u201d. This was 6 month relationship.\nThen I graduated and I moved.\nThis guy hated my guts that I moved on with my life. \n4th guy used to say hi, hello on random days- I would reply back when I had the time. He knew I was dating.The min I told him I am going to get married, he got jealous and hacked into my email account. Read all my personal conversations/ contacts forwarded a bunch of email to his email id. He made my life living hell, by contacting all my ex\u2019s, for sex video\u2019s, nude pics. My 3rd bf told me this guy had contacted him. He contacted my parents and told them I am making a big mistake by getting married. He sent a bunch of emails to my then current now my husband nasty emails- saying I was using him, I am going to dump him when I find someone better yada yada.  My then current now my husband- asked him( forwarded to his mother) shove it where it belongs otherwise we would get a restraining order and make sure he pays for all the lawyer fee\u2019s. THIS WAS 4 YEARS AGO.The stalker stopped for a while, but kept emailing me now and then. Something along the lines- how are you? Hope you are happy. I have not responded to any of it. \nIn 2017, I am married, in a different state than my stalker. I have kid, I have a career, a home where I can feel love and care. \nBut this stalker keeps emailing me, keeps on tracking me online. He creates several fake accounts and tries to add me on anything he can find me on. Last 4 years have been hell. I can't have an online presence. I dont have a LinkedIn, Instagram, have a small FB friends, everything I do has become very private. I can't post pics online or make it public. I am just clueless what to do.\nWhy is this guy still stalking me?What does he want, why can't he move on & stop harassing me? Is there any sort of legal action I can take to make him stop?\n", "post_id": "694s5t", "comment_id": "dh3r9a1"}, {"question": "Simple.  Say hi.  Ask a question that requires more than a yes or no answer.", "comment": "There's this guy in my college class that I've noticed that keeps glancing at me from time to time. He is cute but I don't want to interpret it wrong and maybe he was looking at something else. I have two classes with him and I noticed he turns his body in my direction but sometimes he's not directly looking at me, but sometimes he is. I want to talk to him but I have no idea what to say. I'm also socially awkward and have no experience with guys at all.", "post_id": "f2a27m", "comment_id": "fhbhrcz"}, {"question": "just have to trust her.", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nMe and my GF have been going out for a year now and we live in the same city during term time at university, but during the holidays she goes back home (which is an 8 hour time difference away). When we're together and generally during term time, I find that I am fine and am quite relaxed about pretty much everything in our relationship.\n\nHowever, once the long-distance aspect of the relationship is throw in, I tend to become a pretty goddamn needy and over-sensitive person. I feel like I am generally at her beck and call whenever she messages, and I constantly try to check up and see if she's doing anything/can talk to me - I would even go so far as to say that on occasion (not too often though) I have a certain dependence on talking to her. All this needy/clingy behaviour consequently makes me feel like I care more about the relationship/her than she does and just generally puts me in a shitty mood pretty often. I try really hard to keep myself busy (play a lot of sport, work out, play music, study, meet friends) but I can't seem to shake my neediness. A part of me thinks that I should give myself some more space to sort myself out, but another part thinks that this isn't a good idea as it's not necessary (and I genuinely do enjoy and want to hang out with her).\n\nDo you guys have any tips for how I can become more independent in the future? Thanks x\n\nTL;DR - Become a needy, over-sensitive, clingy BF when my GF goes abroad for prolonged periods of time. How can I stop this?", "post_id": "5kmlez", "comment_id": "dbp468x"}, {"question": " I've been investigating the vaping death cases, and I've found some really conflicting information. Among what I found is that sometimes smokers get a short window where they are more vulnerable to smoking shortly after quitting. Is this true?", "comment": "\n**This is a weekly general discussion and general questions thread for the AskDocs community to discuss medicine, health, careers in medicine, etc.** Here you have the opportunity to communicate with AskDocs' doctors, medical professionals and general community even if you do not have a specific medical question! You can also use this as a meta thread for the subreddit, giving feedback on changes to the subreddit, suggestions for new features, etc.\n\n\n**What can I post here?**\n\n - General health questions that do not require demographic information\n\n - Comments regarding recent medical news\n\n - Questions about careers in medicine\n\n - AMA-style questions for medical professionals to answer\n\n - Feedback and suggestions for the /r/AskDocs subreddit\n\nYou may **NOT** post your medical questions from the subreddit in this thread.\n     \n*Report any and all comments that are in violation of our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/about/rules/) so the mod team can evaluate and remove them.*", "post_id": "dupe9j", "comment_id": "f7qjfrq"}, {"question": "Do you trust any of them to have a heart to heart conversation about it in an honest, respectful way. This could help you get to the bottom of the issue. Could be something stupid, could be nothing, could be a simple misunderstanding, or they might actually just be awful people. ", "comment": "I'm not very talkative, at all. I like to keep to myself for the most part. I do my job to the best of my ability and do everything I can to make sure that I'm keeping the people ahead of me in production up to speed. Within the few months I've been there, I've already been given a good raise just as a sign of appreciation for a ton of overtime I worked. \n\nBut my coworkers, from what I've overheard them discussing, seem to insist that I do nothing at all. Sometimes they take the initiative to do things for me that I don't need them to do, which ends up leaving me with nothing and I have to find something else to keep me busy for that time. At first I thought they were just being nice but I think they're being passive aggressive. If ever I have nothing to do, I'll ask if I can help and 9 out of 10 times they say no. There have been times that have been so painfully slow that I have had to ask my supervisor if she could give me something to do. I'll clean my area 5 times over if it keeps me moving around and not just sitting there. I don't know what the deal is. \n\nIt's made me somewhat paranoid. I see them eyeing me at times and I start to think they're judging everything I do. My social interactions with them are awkward and clumsy. Work has become an unbearably anxious experience and I've even started looking for work elsewhere, just to get a fresh start with a different group of people. I suck with these people I guess (or maybe all people), and I just can't get a read on them. I've tried. \n\nSorry if I'm not making a whole lot of sense right now. I'm tired. \n\n", "post_id": "7lmd7q", "comment_id": "drnbf68"}, {"question": "everyone is entitled to the privacy of their thoughts. she has to respect that.", "comment": "My girlfriend and I have been in a LDR for the past two years. We see each other most weekends as we only live a few hours drive away. She is still at university, about to graduate this summer.\n\nWe've had our ups and downs as I guess every couple has. Recently, we've been having a lot of fights concerning my anxiety and confidence issues. I am not very comfortable talking about this but have tried to open up more as she's constantly trying to reassure me that she's only trying to help. I feel like she's not giving me any privacy as she always wants to know everything and pressuring me to open up. She has said in the past that if I'm not willing to be completely open and close to her, the relationship has no point but I feel like her definition of being close is giving me no privacy at all.\n\nIt's not like I don't ever want to talk to her about my insecurity but I want to figure out what's actually bugging me with the help of a professional rather than her.\nI don't think she understands this.\n\nAm I being unreasonable for wanting to figure things out on my own first instead of with her (which she wants)?\n\ntl;dr: Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to talk about my problems, I need time and possibly the help of a professional.", "post_id": "67iy3v", "comment_id": "dgqqt99"}, {"question": "r/askatherapist  and r/talktherapy are good subs to get support, talk about, and ask about therapy as well. It\u2019s hard to find one that\u2019s a good fit sometimes, there\u2019s good ones and shitty ones like everything in life. A good or will not make you feel judged and uncomfortable. Think of it like dating or finding friends. Some people you click with others you don\u2019t. So don\u2019t give up, you\u2019ll find the right one.\n\nEdit: fixed sub name", "comment": "is it odd that i want to go to therapy but i\u2019m afraid the therapist will judge me? I tried to do it before and the lady kinda upset me. I really wanted some help and i tried to be normal but she asked me if i was mute and it just really triggered me. actually it sounds silly now but i get asked that too much and i felt like i was being judged and that she thought i was weird because of how little i spoke. I stopped going after that lol.  anyways, i guess i should try again but i hate talking and i don\u2019t want to be judged for it. what do you think?", "post_id": "f7mvl7", "comment_id": "ficdxgh"}, {"question": "This is not an appropriate place to ask this. Try /r/psychotherapy to talk with other professionals. :)", "comment": "I have been in the mental health field for about three years post grad and have my LPC in CT. Looking for advice/would love to hear what you all do who are in the field. I\u2019m feeling a little stuck I have been doing child outpatient therapy for a while now and am wondering where too next. Private, school, hospital, ect, ect.. student loans are a killer and I don\u2019t enjoy working late nights. Help a girl out!!", "post_id": "em9pel", "comment_id": "fdnba4g"}, {"question": "Don\u2019t give up on yourself.  Work is endless but there\u2019s more to life.  Maybe try relaxation techniques and mindfulness apps.  Breathe is a personal favorite.  ", "comment": "My brain is electric. This stress is really getting to me. I have an 8 hour work day tomorrow. Then another work day. Then class, where I\u2019ll feel inadaquete the whole time.\n\nMy head hurts today. I hope I don\u2019t wake up. I really hope I don\u2019t.", "post_id": "9js1ta", "comment_id": "e6tsvy7"}, {"question": "I'm not hugely fussed by a one-off mildly elevated blood pressure, but (as an addictions psychiatrist) 12 beers a weekend?!? You should probably cut down.", "comment": "At work today one of the ladies got me to use her blood pressure machine(while I was sitting at my desk working) because I am always complaining about it being hot in the office when they claim it's \"freezing\" . (thermostat says 71)\n\nAny way, the reading said 143/105 with a heart rate of 63. The machine placed that in the red zone and looking online it seems like it is pretty high, especially for someone my age. I might book a doctors appointment  to check it out if you guys think I should.\n\nLittle about me:\nAge: 25\nHeight: 6'1\"\nWeight: 220lbs\nRace: White - Scottish/Irish descent\nBuild: Mostly Muscular - little bit of a \"gut/beer belly\" but no fat elsewhere\nSmoke?: Was a casual smoker, quit a few weeks ago(dont plan on starting again)\nDrink?: 6-12 beers usually on weekend, the odd one during the week. No hard liquor\nDiet: Fairly decent, not much fast food, 1 -2 coffee every day (usually 1 and none on weekends)\nEnergy Level: Normal (sleep 7 hours a night) Althought I have always had bad cardio\nMedical Conditions: None and good oral health\nWorkout?: Started swimming in the mornings (3 days a week) but thats about it\nJob: Director of IT - fairly stressful position with a lot of responsibility but its going OK\nOthers: I have agreed to help people on side projects but I am a cronic procrastinator so that is beginning to stress me out (not sure if important)\n\nI cant think of anything else, hopefully that is enough information. Should I be concerned about this? Should I schedule that appointment ASAP?\n\nAny info is greatly appreciated.\n\nThanks!\n\n", "post_id": "5vtdxq", "comment_id": "de4tex2"}, {"question": "I want to forgive myself for hurting the people close to me when I'm drunk.  I want to forgive myself for.. not being the person I feel like I \"should be\".  I want to forgive myself for struggling to cope in healthier ways. ", "comment": "Trying out something new!\n\nJournalling is a big part of my recovery. I love the process of writing and it helps me find perspective. \n\nThe mods had this idea to do a \"weekend writing prompt.\" Every week we will be giving a different prompt.\n\nYou don't have to share it here, but you are very welcome to!\n\n**Today's Prompt**\n\n**What is something that you want to forgive yourself for?**", "post_id": "43hm70", "comment_id": "czjtpo5"}, {"question": "You\u2019ve been letting her stay too. How has it been going?  Is it time for her to leave?", "comment": "For about 5 months my husband of 4 years has been letting his ex stay with us, under the promise of no funny-buisness.\n\nThey were together for 2 years, and remained good friends after.  Since she has been living with us, I have had some fears that my husband might cheat.  They have both told me that absolutely nothing will happen.  \n\nAt this point I dont know what to do about the situation.  Am I crazy or should I worry? \n\nEdit:I have spoken with my husband, and we have agreed to speak with her about a date to move out.\n\nEdit 2:My husband and I have spoken with his ex, and she has agreed to move out in the next month.", "post_id": "8t7ar8", "comment_id": "e15b1ru"}, {"question": "I'd first and foremost talk about it with my supervisor or in a supervision group.  Every decent therapist continues to get supervision throughout their career where they'll talk about their cases with 1 person or a group (generally without giving out identifying data) in order to get feedback.  \n\nI'd talk about my attraction and about the case to make sure that my attraction is not turning into stronger feelings or impacting my ability to help them.  If it was, at that point I'd discuss this with the client and transfer.  If it wasn't, I probably wouldn't even bring it up with the client.", "comment": "Would you refer the client to someone else?\n\nWould you go out of your way to make sure they never suspect it?", "post_id": "eorxmd", "comment_id": "fehj04u"}, {"question": "\"Don't shit where you sleep.\"\n\nThat was probably in the orientation speech you guys gave your freshman. Note that many of them will totally ignore that advice, fuck their dorm mates or try to, and it'll turn out somewhere between clusterfuck and fine.\n\nSo either ask her out or don't. In the meantime, work out, do your homework, see friends outside your dorm. Telling her about your feelings is suboptimal whether you're asking her out or not. \n", "comment": "We both are RAs of a college dorm. I started having feelings for her the first time I met her (last semester after getting the position). However, my feelings peaked in the second week of the semester. I always think about her. I can't properly sleep at night - thoughts about her distract me. When I wake up, the first thing I think of is her face. I always want to be around her. I love how she speaks. I love her curly hair and her face. She is single. However, I am quiet sure that she doesn't have any romantic feelings towards me, although she is nice to me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell her about my feelings and get rejected. It will be painful since we will be living and working together for three more semesters. It will also be embarrassing if the rest of the staff and the Hall Director knows about it.", "post_id": "70ksml", "comment_id": "dn3wp33"}, {"question": "I do this with an extra step. Adding the related tabs into their own desktop. Then end up with 7 desktops and a thousand programs open with infinite tabs, none of which I will use because I will get annoyed and close them all at once one day.", "comment": "* Step 1: Leave things open in tabs for months because \"I'm going to need that information for something at some point in the future.\"\n\n* Step 2: Have so many tabs open that I can no longer see what any of them are. Split off some of them into a new window, maybe even splitting off related tabs if I'm feeling particularly organized.\n\n* Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 several times.\n\n* Step 4 (optional): Maybe go through and bookmark some sites and disregard others to close those tabs. Barely make a dent.\n\n* Step 5: End up with 4 windows open with approximately 50 tabs each. Use up 100% of computer's ram doing absolutely nothing.\n\n* Step 6?: Get fed up with this, go through and copy and paste the URLs into a .txt file with a short description of why I think I'll need them. Save this .txt file as something like \"notes7.txt\" along with all of the other notes files in my gigantic dump of a downloads folder.\n\n* Step 7: Enjoy not having my computer fan rev up anytime I open my browser, for a while, until\n\n* Step 8: Repeat from step 1. *WWHHYYYYYYY*", "post_id": "bnrq3h", "comment_id": "enb6nmk"}, {"question": "Have you tried opening up to anyone else besides your parents? Have you tried mental health services, like a therapist or psychiatrist? ", "comment": "I'm 24. 20-fucking-4, and I've never had a proper job. I've only ever worked part-time in a kitchen.  \n  \nI love my parents and really do appreciate them supporting me since university, but I've become so, so depressed, that I can't bring myself to look for a real job anymore.  \n  \nBut nobody listens.  \n  \nI say \"I'm depressed\", and I'm told \"You just need a job\".  \nI say \"I feel like I can't do anything\", and I'm told \"You just need to try harder\".  \nI say \"I fucking hate you and I hate myself and I hate everything\", and I'm told \"You should appreciate us more\".  \n  \nI just want someone to say \"Let's talk about your depression, because it's obviously the root cause of your apathy\".  \n  \nBut nobody cares. I'm a selfish, lazy, and even manipulative child in everyone's eyes. I don't want to be unemployed, and I don't want to live with my parents, but I just have no emotional energy left for anything anymore.  \n  \nI'm always helping my mum through her emotional breakdowns, but I get nothing in return.  \n  \nI've started to contemplate suicide - not to actually die, but just so that people can see that I'm not lying; I really don't want to live like this - but is that in itself manipulative? Is everyone right? Am I just a lazy child?", "post_id": "62l7qx", "comment_id": "dfnlc47"}, {"question": "r/thanksimcured", "comment": "Just thought someone might need this.", "post_id": "bro7we", "comment_id": "eofodgv"}, {"question": "The worst part is that it convinces you there is something to be scared of and then BAM, your worried about your throat closing up or your butt opening up. ", "comment": "ADHD, GAD and a major depression is what my doctor diagnosed. And it basically evolved in the same order. \n\nI'm unemployed for almost 2 years now. Not just am I broke but I really want to work, want to earn some money and do something else than just sitting around 24/7.\n\nI have a CS education and worked as a software developer. Obviously there are enough jobs I could apply for with this education. Even becoming a freelancer could be an option.\n\nBut I'm too anxious. I need someone who constantly tells me I'm doing fine or w/e or I feel very uncomfortable because I think I'm doing everything wrong / everyone dislikes me because I'm a lazy douche. \n\nDuring my last job I tried really hard to be *normal*. But I could tell myself all day long I'm doing fine it didn't help. Lost the job basically because of my *weird* behavior.\n\nI mean I know that I can't ask for a job where everyone is nice to me and tells me that I'm doing fine. \n\nI have no idea how to get back into work. I'm actually to anxious to write an application. \n\n\nwell. whatever. thank you for reading. had to let off some steam.", "post_id": "6bee23", "comment_id": "dhmh59p"}, {"question": "Failing? My friend, if in the first few weeks you don\u2019t end up taking a drink, then you are WINNING. \n\nwhatever you gotta do to stay sober in the very beginning, do that. In the first few days I was still so sick and miserable the idea of cleaning anything other than my teeth was inconceivable; I ate whatever I could stomach and didn\u2019t worry about nutrition for like, a month. \n\nDon\u2019t worry about whether you\u2019re a \u201cdry drunk\u201d for now. That stuff can wait while your brain and body get through the initial healing in the next two to four weeks. \n\nIf you find meetings helpful, this saying always worked for me: go to meetings, and don\u2019t drink between meetings. Simple (but not easy!) as that. \n\nIWDWYT!", "comment": "So I'm feeling like a bit of a hot mess. I've been so scatterbrained the past couple days. I find that I'm constantly trying to distract myself from alcohol cravings by eating way too much junk food and spending too much time online. I can't seem to focus on anything for very long. My apartment is a complete mess but I can't be bothered to clean it. I have no clean laundry or dishes, and I feel like I'm just hanging on. I'm currently working 2 jobs on top of a full course load and it's everything I can do not to let that all fall apart. I keep skipping AA meetings and I feel like I'm doing the whole \"dry drunk\" thing, which supposedly isn't a long term solution. I kinda feel like I'm failing and I'm only a couple days in. That being said, I guess as long as I'm sober, that's a solid win for now. I'll tackle more when I start feeling a little less crazy. \n\nThanks for listening. \n\nEdit: Just realized I wrote some variation of \"feeling\" like 5 times. I guess you could say I'm a little emotional right now!", "post_id": "7ab7hn", "comment_id": "dp8jbyd"}, {"question": "Therapist here. If her therapist has any sort of ethical boundaries, technically she will refuse to speak to you at all, since ethically and legally she is prevented from doing so by privacy laws and confidentiality.\n\nMy suggestion would be to sit down with your wife and suggest a family therapy session, where you can express these concerns, but because your wife is the client, she must be the one to bring this up to the therapist.\n\nNow, if your wife has previously signed a release that allows the therapist to speak with you, THEN you can discuss this.", "comment": "My wife's alcohol usage waxes and wanes over a given month.  She is currently seeing a Therapist and a Psychiatrist for her social anxiety issues.  At one point in our relationship, after her father passed away she was drinking 6-7 nights a week and by 9:30pm had fallen asleep / passed out on the couch.  I told her I wouldn't have children if she kept up that behavior and she cleaned up her act and cut consumption down to better levels (3 nights a week, maybe one to excess).  She went dry through the pregnancy and during breastfeeding with minimal issues (she was able to quit smoking cold turkey before we got married).  She is a rockstar at self control except when she has a drink.  Once she is slightly buzzed, her consumption rate accelerates, and I have to bargain / share the drink with her to get her to stop.  I used to keep up with her for support immediately following her dad's passing, but as I watched her drink more and more, I had to step away completely from it to lead by example and not enable (though I still enable in someways by inaction).  This morning, I had to work early to solve a critical problem.  I listened to our daughter cry in her crib for 25 minutes while my wife laid on the couch still passed out.  After 5 minutes, I woke my wife up and went back to work, after 15, I came upstairs again and she huffed that she was up.  10 minutes after that I finally here the crying start to die down (my wife must have showered/washed up/possibly thrown up first).  Currently, my wife drinks for 4 nights, and is off for two nights (because I force it).  \n\nI don't know if she speaks honestly with her therapist or psychiatrist about her alcohol consumption.  I am 95% sure, she talks about social anxiety issues related to work and family.  What happens if I tell them about this?  She wants to have another kid, and the thought of it actually makes me cringe / kills my sex drive.  On the bright side, it would be nice to have her not drinking for over a year like last time, but I really wouldn't want it to start right back up.  We have discussed it multiple times but I just can't go it alone anymore.  She is proud of the fact she doesn't drink 7 nights a week anymore and that she has the ability to \"control\" it, but mornings like this are just really rough for me to keep fighting.  She admitted that she \"over did it\" and will she probably will not drink tonight.  I want someone else in my corner encouraging her to continue to reduce the consumption, or eliminate for therapeutic reasons (preferred). \n\n**Edit:** I have never been to the therapist or psychiatrist.  This would be me cold-calling the office.\n\nI need to get back to work and won't be able to respond until later in the afternoon.  \n\nOh, and before it is suggested, **NO, she didn't sneak it during pregnancy/breastfeeding**, and she doesn't sneak it now (with the exception of waiting for me to go to bed so she can \"stay up for a little while watching TV\").  \n\n****Update: **** I have spoken with my wife and she is stepping back from drinking for a while.  I am still debating whether to call her therapist or not.", "post_id": "4brxr9", "comment_id": "d1c0r2i"}, {"question": "A very rough guide is that 400 mg of potassium will increase your blood level by about 0.1 mmol/L. I'm unaware of any RDA for potassium, but if you went a gram or so extra per day then increasing by 0.6 mmol/L total seems about right.", "comment": "With a potassium level of 3.1mmol I was trying to increase my daily intake with bananas and coconut water. \n\nI did 150% of RDA or so in those for 3/4 days. \n\nMy levels are now 3.7mmol. \n\nHaving some pvcs I\u2019m keen to get it back over 4. \n\n\nI haven\u2019t been sick so not sure why it got so low. \n\nIs this rate of increase normal?", "post_id": "8y97yu", "comment_id": "e293h9t"}, {"question": "Not going to offer any diagnoses, but from the brief snippet of your day today, I am feel confident that you are not manifesting the traditional symptoms of bipolar disorder.  We all have random and sometimes indescribable changes in our moods.  Sometimes they last for an hour or two, possibly all day.  We can definitely wake up in the morning in a funk, but as the day goes on, things start to get better and our moods lighten.  This does not mean we are suffering from a mental illness, it means we are human.  \n\nPeople who suffer from bipolar disorder experience episodes of depression and mania (at least for bipolar 1).  These states exist on polar opposite ends of the spectrum from each other, hence the name bipolar.  In such a small, close, family-like class, I suspect someone would quickly become aware if you began to manifest these symptoms.  \n\nAlso, feeling uncomfortable emotions doesn't mean that we are sick or there's a problem.  High school isn't exactly the best place to be, IMHO, so I would reflect on which feelings may be accurate and normal versus those that are wayyyy out of your character.  If, one day, you come home to find your sister drank your last soda and you threw her tv out the window, that's something you probably want to mention.  Try writing your feelings out in a journal, then ripping it up and throwing them away if you don't want them around.  That can be a very therapeutic activity.  Typing or writing, just get it out.  The actual act of talking and knowing someone is hearing your words is also therapeutic, even if the person listening doesn't say much.  Give yourself a hug and, as hard as this may sound, try not to be hard on yourself if you're feeling down.  Get some good sleep, eat a healthy meal, and take some personal time out for yourself, if you can.\n\nI hope you feel better.  :)", "comment": "Hi, so this morning I woke up and I was feeling a little sad for what I think was no reason (since nothing had happened for me to feel that way). After an hour or so, I started feeling better and went on with my day as normal. I went to school, did what I had to do, laughed and smiled- Even had a class where we all legitimately got curled up in a corner and fell asleep for a full hour (We're a small class, all very united- Like family. And yes, high school, just to point out.). Anyway, after school... I got home, and suddenly I felt angry. I felt sad. I felt lonely. I felt unwilling. Out of nowhere! I am still currently feeling this way- And I still don't know why. Could this be a problem? Bipolar disorder? Depression? Anything related or unrelated? Thank you, for any help.", "post_id": "a5o0uz", "comment_id": "eboj8dm"}, {"question": "Especially considering the relative rapid onset, it would be important that you call his doctor ASAP. ", "comment": "My grandfather, 99 years old, reported to the hospital Saturday with pneumonia. And it was weird. His second or third day there was shockingly lucid. He's normally very lucid. Like, he'll know who I am, recognize me, be excited to see me, but not really engage me in conversation. A little distant. It's been like this for the last couple years.\n\nBut that day at the hospital, he knew who I was and telling me stories, reliving these experiences that we shared (and a few we didn't). He was watching the news (which he normally does with a religious obsession).\n\nNext day though, he got a little more out of it and yesterday was really delirious, hallucinating like crazy. Figuring that the disorientation of being in the hospital was the cause and since his lungs were mostly cleared up, we took him home.\n\nAnd for a little while, he was fine. Now though, it's going on 430am and he is tripping balls. He's flipping out about children in danger, talking to people who aren't there. And talking non-stop at full volume.\n\nI have literally no idea how to interact with him right now while he's hallucinating. When friends trip, they know they're tripping. I don't think he knows he's tripping. Explaining to him that the things that he's seeing are not real both seems obviously wrong to me.\n\nI have no idea how to help him come back.", "post_id": "412f7m", "comment_id": "cyzhsbb"}, {"question": "I don't want to get into an argument with you, but I bet if you wanted to get that speech in you could still. This coming from someone who got their bachelor's degree writing practically every paper the night before it was due (which I do not recommend, by the way).\n\nTry playing the story all the way through. If you get stoned, you know what you'll get - high (maybe), lazy (probably), a brief relief from your head (possibly). In the morning the problems staring you in the face right now will be back, and the question will once again be: get stoned? Wash, rinse, repeat? Or do something differently? You can continue that cycle for a long time until you hit the point that it doesn't work any more. For me, I hit the point where it didn't work - I was just using to feel normal, not an enjoyable high anymore, and the negative thoughts and feelings I had tried to escape actually got louder and harder to ignore. I realised i could keep doing the same thing and the world would pass me by, 10 or 15 years gone just like that. And I didn't want that. Smoking became a living death for me and I wanted to be alive, so I set out trying to do something different, and it started with putting weed down. The next steps involved reaching out for help and learning a new way of living.", "comment": "I have no motivation. I figured my lack of drive was coming from the fact that I was getting stoned silly every night. But I've been off it completely for almost 2 weeks and nothing has changed for the better. I have a big speech due tomorrow for my public speaking class and I've barely done any research at all. I'll probably just skip, sleep in, and might end up withdrawing from my classes altogether. I'm finding it really difficult to give a shit about anything. \n\nThe worst part is, I have an intense urge to smoke weed again. I don't want to start back up for good, but it would make this all so much easier. I could just forget about my worries and be more comfortable with my laziness and depression. It would be so easy to just make a run to the store and buy a joint. It's too late for me to get this assignment ready anyways, so what have I got to lose?\n\nAny response at all would be amazing, I really need some support here.", "post_id": "5rdpy7", "comment_id": "dd6hfup"}, {"question": "I tried to moderate for years. Took me much longer than I wished it did to realize that it doesn\u2019t work for me. Stove was hot every single time I put my hand on it, but still thought (or hoped) it wouldn\u2019t be too many times to count.", "comment": "I have listened this This Naked Mind a couple of times and love Amy Grace's nuanced and compassionate approach. One thing she talks a lot about is how stressful it can be to drink moderately, and this is really hard for me to accept but I think it's finally starting to land. I have a handful of experiences now that confirm this. I used to think I needed alcohol to be sociable, but have recently experimented with abstaining in situations where I would previously have invariably cut loose, such as going to a show at a bar or camping with friends. I am finding that I like being fully aware and present in these moments, and alcohol is not nearly as tempting as I expected it would be. \n\nI think it's turning out that my biggest trigger is actually being alone at home with \"nothing better to do.\" \n\nI still haven't managed to string together more than about a week sober, because as soon as I start to feel normal and my confidence comes back, I find myself thinking \"I can handle it, a couple of beers sounds nice, what harm could that do?\" Which, of course, is typical rationalization and of course I know all too well what harm those \"couple of beers\" can do. \n\nI guess I'm just looking to hear something from the community about your experiences on your journey back to the world of the living. \n\nHas anyone else felt similarly? \n\nAny stories you'd care to share? \n\nAny suggestions on how to handle that insidious voice that tells me \"don't be so hard on yourself\" and to \"just relax and don't make it such a big deal\"? (I have temporarily nicknamed this voice Hexxus, but am trying to think of a better name for him).   \n\nIs moderation a tenable goal for anyone who has been addicted to alcohol?", "post_id": "cyqlmo", "comment_id": "eyukawi"}, {"question": "don't do it! i promise, if you wait this out, it will pass and life will get better!!!", "comment": "i\u2019m quitting life. Fuck it. i have been so done for so long but this time, imma do it right. \nbest of luck to all of you,\na random internet stranger", "post_id": "fpje9y", "comment_id": "fllp7bi"}, {"question": "I am not a psychologist, but a licensed counselor.  However, I can empathize with your thoughts because I always wonder if I am meant to be here since I struggle so much with my own social anxiety.  But I think that is what helps in a sense because I can see what my clients feel from their perspective.  Also, as far as doing the job itself, I just take it day by day, moment by moment.  Sometimes I do stutter and make social blunders, but I push through.  I think about the people I am helping and that motivates me.  Good luck to you! ", "comment": "Hello\n\nI know that maybe it sounds contradictory to ask this in this forum ... \n\nI always look for jobs where I do not have to have contact with people, but I do not see myself studying something else rather than psychology. \nI do not see myself working in something that is not a social reason, I want to help people, I am a good listener and I feel that I am a good adviser (although I know that a psychologist is not a counselor), I love volunteering and helping children and people in need. \n\nBut I am very afraid of not being able to work well with the profession, not being a good psychologist, not being able to address groups or things like that. What do you think? Is there a psychologist here or someone who is studying that?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "avsksh", "comment_id": "ehhnbw9"}, {"question": "Getting information from Amen Clinics is not a good idea. Dr Daniel Amen is a notorious quack who uses un-validated methodology and bilks patients for thosuands.\n\nThat said, here's the original paper:  [Long-Term Stimulant Treatment Affects Brain Dopamine Transporter Level in Patients with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0063023), and a more recent one one Ritalin specifically: [Chronic methylphenidate preferentially alters catecholamine protein targets in the parietal cortex and ventral striatum](https://www.scopus.com/record/display.uri?eid=2-s2.0-85060305958&origin=resultslist&sort=plf-f&cite=2-s2.0-84877766209&src=s&imp=t&sid=1572f788a679eac25d391f2dbb0325d6&sot=cite&sdt=a&sl=0&relpos=3&citeCnt=0&searchTerm=) \n\nBut compare another recent meta-analysis and review (though not in ADHD):  [Effects of stimulant drug use on the dopaminergic system: A systematic review and meta-analysis of in vivo neuroimaging studies.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30981746) \n\nThe overall summary I would give is that the picture is complicated and the basic science not ready for making clinical decisions. What is abundantly clear from larger-scale data is that treatment of ADHD with stimulants like methylphenidate (Ritalin) improves outcomes on a wide variety of metrics.\n\nThe \"may get worse\" is very different from \"definitely gets worse, don't take Ritalin.\"", "comment": "Hello,\n\nI just got Medikinet Adult(Ritalin) prescribed from my psychiatrists and while I was reading about the long term side effects I learned that your ADHD will get worse when you stop using your medication.\n\nCan someone confirm this? I am currently afraid of using it since my ADHD is already bad and if I at one point want to stop using it for some reason I dont want to have it even worse.\n\n​\n\nHere a snippet from an article:\n\n>They took 18 never medicated ADHD adults and did PET scans on them before and one year later. They compared the ADHD adults to 12 normal control subjects, also scanned at baseline and then a year later. The ADHD subjects treated with the drug showed a 24% average increase in dopamine transporters, while the control subjects showed no increase in transporters.\n\n​\n\nAge: 25\n\nHeight: 185cm\n\nWeight: 90kg\n\ngender: M\n\nmedications you take: None(YET!)\n\nsmoking status: Not smoking\n\nprevious and current medical issues: ADHD\n\nduration and location of complaint: My whole life\n\n \n\nThanks for any advice", "post_id": "bphyzk", "comment_id": "entcwc9"}, {"question": "I was actually reading through some disciplinary actions taken against therapists in my state recently.  \n\nThis is the EXACT kind of thing a therapist could lose their license for if you had accepted (I saw that someone in my state recently lost her license for something like this).  She's really lucky you didn't, but ultimately, it's her responsibility to set and maintain appropriate boundaries, not yours.  \n\n\nIf she has a supervisor, I'd contact them and tell them about this.  Although you might feel bad doing it, if her supervisor can have a talk with her about this and correct this behavior before it blows up in her face, it might save her career along with saving others from being damaged by her poor boundaries.", "comment": "Hey guys, the title is correct. I found a couple's counselor in the area that also takes on individuals for personal mental health treatment/therapy. I think I have gone \\~4 times.\n\nEven from the first visit, she started introducing talk about how \"this is how she usually does it, but she'll do it differently for me because she likes me.\" I notice that her tone is very maternal and possibly consoling in many situations. After the third visit I wasn't sure if I wanted to return, and yesterday I went for my fourth and this happened.\n\nMy partner is going out of town for Thxgiving and we just moved to a new city. When I told my therapist I would be alone, she stumbled over the words to say, would you like to come to my family's Thanksgiving dinner?\n\nWhile it was honestly a nice gesture, I find it odd that I'm paying her \\~$90 a session to not even feel that much better, to then be invited to attend an incredibly intimate dinner with her family? I made the joke that she's going to charge me!\n\nSo, I know this isn't professional and most of you are going to say I should find a new therapist, which I was considering anyway. I want your opinion on the first part, and also how to end a relationship with a therapist when it has crossed the line into too friendly of a situation. I feel like I'm going to hurt her feelings, especially after this.", "post_id": "dz2jd5", "comment_id": "f85xx9t"}, {"question": "It sounds like there are several parts to your situation. There is an ADHD part, an energy vs depression part, and an anxiety part. \n\nAnxiety - Have you gotten therapy for managing anxiety, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or something along those lines? That could REALLY help manage the anxiety associated with not being on meds / meds not working as well. \n\nDepression - Consider getting treatment for depression, because it sounds like it may be playing a role in your situation. Depression and ADHD symptoms are sometimes difficult to pick apart from one another, and it is entirely possible (and not uncommon) to have both. Treating both conditions well is often the key to really feeling better. \n\nADHD and meds - it sounds like you do well for a little bit, then the effect wears out. This sounds a lot like building \"tolerance\" to a medication. You can't really stop that from happening - that's the normal physiologic response to stuff. Some people try to slow down developing a tolerance to medications by taking a day off ADHD meds each week -- talk to your psych PA about it, don't do it on your own.\n\nI think it could also be helpful to talk to your psych PA about trying an antidepressant again, along with therapy (NOTE: this would not be the same therapy as the therapy for anxiety, though the same therapist may do both). Maybe you didn't find an antidepressant that was right for you -- there's tons of antidepressants out there! Some people respond to some and not others, and psychiatrists have no way of telling what you're going to respond to until you give it a shot (though psychiatrists can take pretty good guesses based on the meds' side-effect profiles, family history, and your specific symptoms). \n\nSomeone in this thread mentioned wellbutrin -- it can be helpful for ADHD but for some people it can make anxiety worse, so that's something to be on the lookout for. \n\nTl;dr:\n\n* Consider talking to your psych PA about taking a day off ADHD meds each week \n* Consider therapy (like cognitive behavioral therapy)  for managing anxiety\n* Consider therapy for depression\n* Consider giving antidepressants another shot\n* If you don't like your psych PA and don't feel like you work well together, consider finding a different provider", "comment": "I don't know the technical subtype, but I have ADHD with extreme anxiety. I can't be around crowds, have responsibilities, or pretty much do anything without a full-blown panic attack if I'm not on my ADHD medication. \n\nI tried anxiety meds for the longest time, but they all made me tired, moody, and have serious brain fog.\n\nSix months ago I was diagnosed as Adult ADD, and that first month on 30mg of Adderall XR was a dream come true.  I had\n\n- energy,\n- no anxiety,\n- focus,\n- motivation,\n- the ability to plan ahead (completely new for me)\n- the ability to socialize without overthinking it (also completely new for me)\n\nUnfortunately, for the next two months I was exhausted, unmotivated, and unfocused all the time.  I thought it might be allergies, but treating those didn't make any difference with my energy.\n\nI switched to Vyvanse a little over two months ago, and again had a great two or three weeks.  But now I feel exhausted, unmotivated and borderline depressed.  I've tried lowering the dose, but that just gave me serious panic attacks.  I've tried raising the dose, but that just made me even more tired.\n\n**Am I on the wrong ADD subtype for this medication?  Should I try Concerta?**\n\n\nAnd I'll give you some more info before you post any of the comments I usually see on this subreddit.  :)\n\n- I don't take a lot of Vitamin C.\n- I work out regularly\n- I eat well.\n- I've tried less carbs and more carbs; I've tried meds with food and without food.\n- I get plenty of sleep.\n- I've talked to my \"doctor\" (he's actually a physician's assistant) about this, but I only see him for 15 minutes every month and he always wants to keep me on the same meds at the same dose.  ", "post_id": "1pbv09", "comment_id": "cd19es4"}, {"question": "That also makes me concerned for manipulative behavior. \"Stay with me or I'll kill myself (and it will be your fault)!\" That's a bad message to get stuck with. You can't be responsible for someone else's mental health or safety.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "88zmd7", "comment_id": "dwol112"}, {"question": "it's NOT YOU. ask him why he's not interested. it's inside him; not about you", "comment": "My boyfriend and I moved in together three weeks ago and so far it has been great. However, over the past week or so I have thrown myself at him only to have him either make some joke or not seem into it at all. Last night it happened again. We were in our living room cleaning up for bed and I turned the lights off trying to be sexy and instigate a litte fun on the couch. His first comment is \"my stomach is full of milk, I had a huge bowl of cereal\". Listen, I get it if he was full and didn't want to I could umderstand it but it seemed like he wasn't into it or me at all. Side note, I was only wearing one of the t-shirts and I thought I looked pretty good. So how do I go forward from this? Every time I get shot down I get more and more ashamed of my sexual side and just wanna crawl into a ball and hide. Help", "post_id": "64j8wf", "comment_id": "dg2kpil"}, {"question": "They call it \"psychomotor retardation\" - a general slowing-down of mental and/or physical activity - and it is one of the possible symptoms of depression. Difficulty concentrating is another one. I can also relate to what Xeltoor's saying; it's probably hard to focus on school when your inner voice is scolding you about \"how do you expect to handle the 'real world'?\" and all that. It sounds like you're getting treatment (?), which is great. It takes time.\n\nAlso, you mentioned two desires - \"I wish I could just sit and do nothing all day\" and \"I want to do things that make me feel happy\" - and I just wanted to point out that the desire to do nothing is probably depression-related (even if you've always liked doing nothing, depression REALLY makes you want to zone out or sleep), while the desire to do things that make you feel happy is quite healthy. For me, the trick was knowing which was which.", "comment": "I'm a senior in college and I've been struggling so much lately to keep up with my pitiful three classes. Topics and concepts that my peers grasp immediately I take much longer to understand; generally I process things *much* slower and it's driving me nuts. I want to chalk it up to depression, which I have been diagnosed with, but maybe I'm just slower in general? I'm working in a group project and when we have meetings everyone has these brilliant ideas and I'm stuck going, \"wait guys, I'm confused... slow down.\" And my memory is just shit. \n\n\nSchool is exacerbating my depression so much and I wish I could just sit and do nothing all day but of course that's not a good option. I desperately want to drop out so I can do things that make me feel happy and not like like a complete imbecile. If I can't handle three undergrad classes, how will I possible handle the \"real world\" and a career and all that? And no, I'm not even in a particularly difficult major.\n\n\nDo you experience this general feeling of mental slowness? Like you take longer to understand things and are not very quick-witted or sharp?", "post_id": "18xku7", "comment_id": "c8iyt22"}, {"question": "Weird is subjective.  If you really like anime and are surrounded by people who hate it, you'll be labeled weird.  If you go to an anime convention and you're a person who doesn't like anything having to do with Japanese culture, you'll be labeled as weird.  \n\n\nEveryone is weird to someone else.  My suggestion is to figure out exactly who you are and find YOUR people.  Spend more of your time and energy doing this instead of trying to make people who aren't your people accept you for who you are.\n\nThis is really tough for kids/teens when they obviously don't have the option/freedom to just pick up and move or travel when the people in there are no or few people like them in their immediate vicinity.  As an adult... there's nothing stopping you from doing this but yourself.\n\nThis sort of reminds me of my favorite Jack Kerouac quote :  \u201c[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes \u201cAwww!\u201d", "comment": "I'm an extrovert by nature. When I was younger I loved talking with new people and i never had an issue making friends.\nAs I got older, starting in my late teens and early twenties it's like people changed, suddenly I was weird. I really don't know what is weird about me and over time I've closed myself off to making friends and the idea of talking with new people is painful.\n\nMaybe I'm too comfortable saying what I really feel, or maybe the things I talk about are just odd. I don't know, I just wish people saw that I'm 100% and I'm kind and I really want to know the real stuff and I'm not interested in the stupid fluff people say and do to look cool. I see right through it and I'm just not good at playing along. \n\nany suggestions ?", "post_id": "emv76t", "comment_id": "fdryexv"}, {"question": "Don't worry too much about it right yet if it's only been a couple of days.  Worrying too much over having something more serious than you may have can make things worse.  Life has it's ups and downs for everyone.  Sometimes we get sad, stressed, anxious, because well, we're human and life can be hard at times.  That's completely normal, and it's not depression.  \n\nWhen depression really hits, it also really lasts for a good bit of time and someone experiencing it has substantial trouble shaking it.  It can and usually does begin to have a pretty substantial impact on the person's ability to function.  \n\nI'm not trying to say that you're not depressed because I don't know you or your situation.  It would be impossible for me or anyone else on here to really give you that answer.  It IS important that we don't throw around the word depression willy-nilly as it begins to take the seriousness away from the actual symptoms of more serious conditions.  \n\nIf either after a few weeks or so you can't shake the feelings and you are concerned that they are having a negative impact on your school and/or work, your relationships with others, or your health, then it would be worth it to talk to your parents and/or school counselor to see if you can be referred to therapy.  \n\nOf course, if you have had any thoughts of wanting to kill yourself or anyone else, talk to your parents about getting into therapy immediately!  \n\nPlease let me know if you have any follow up questions.  Hope this was helpful and good luck!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/mental-health-diagnosis-what-you-need-to-know/) ", "comment": "I have been feeling slightly bad for the last couple of days. I haven't been able to sleep, haven't been able to concentrate at school, I've been feeling sick in my stomach and some general sadness.\nAt this point I don't know what I can do, I'm kinda scared what my parents are going to say.\nAm I depressed? How do I know I'm depressed? How can I fix it? Should I go talk with someone?\nAnything is helpful ", "post_id": "6wmgl5", "comment_id": "dm9cpkd"}, {"question": "Unless thyroid hormone levels (usually free T4, sometimes free T3) were checked and low, a slightly elevated TSH is not hypothyroidism and there's no reason to treat it. There's probably no harm in a very low dose of levothyroxine either, but it's not going to fix fatigue that isn't caused by hypothyroidism in the first place.", "comment": "TSH level - 5.24\n\nGP prescribed levothyroxine (0.025mg).\n\nExperienced sinus infection and took antibiotics, after had fatigue. Did bloodwork and iron was very low - so taking FeraMax 150 daily.\n\nDo not have typical symptoms of hypothyroidism - no sentisivity to cold (actually experiencing sensitivity to heat), no weight gain,etc. But GP said to take levothyroxine due to fatigue (which could be caused by the low iron). (Another DR at clinic said he would not have prescribed levothyroxine since the TSH result could be a \u201cblip\u201d.)\n\nAfter taking levothyroxine for about 40 days, there is no improvement with fatigue (still off and on). Will speak to GP again in a week (on break) but she said to wait for an appointment with a specialist (in Aug.) to decide whether to continue taking levothyroxine.\n\nThis is confusing. Should levothyroxine have been prescribed? And can medication be stopped after 40 days to check to see whether the elevated TSH reading was in fact, a blip?\n\nAny feedback would be greatly appreciated.", "post_id": "gy1kqp", "comment_id": "ft8kv5n"}, {"question": "Lol yes that is my preferred state of existence. A fly on the wall, but also doing my own thing", "comment": "I feel uneasy when alone. And I notice that having others around when I'm fully engaged in my own world (music, laptop, etc) is the best I've ever felt. Like a mutual unacknowledgment. So I'm talking small coffee shops with people in pairs engaged in each other talking low on a slow day, etc. I don't want people to look at me, be too loud, or talk to me or acknowledge me an any way. I just want them there while I enjoy my own world.", "post_id": "c3hl0l", "comment_id": "err65x7"}, {"question": "You can't do anything. Change is something you have to choose for herself, and if she won't she can't change. I would suggest you do your best to take care of yourself and don't get hurt. ", "comment": "I've had my suspicions for a few years that she wasn't mentally 100% healthy. She's quick to anger, she is never wrong, ever. She almost always talks about herself and her problems, or she manages to bring almost every conversation towards her. I did some research into Narcissistc Personality Disorder, and I sincerely believe that she might have it. \n\nI was wandering, as her 17 year old son, is there anything that I could do to try and improve her behaviour or her mindset?", "post_id": "25cbxs", "comment_id": "chfvgpz"}, {"question": "Can you tell us which types you've taken?\n\nGenerally brands make minimal difference (except for price!), But there are exceptions, most notably Lithium where its important to avoid switching brands.", "comment": "Hello, I am a 41 year old male slightly overweight.  I have been having the issue where I am very tired during the day.  My doctor had me get some blood work done and found my thyroid was the issue.  He put me on Levothyroxine 25 MG a day.  I started this in the beginning of August.  In the beginning, I could tell a total change!  I felt wonderful, but the medicine would give me a bad taste in my mouth.  I talked to my pharmacist and she switched it to another generic brand.  I no longer have the taste in my mouth, but I am starting to feel exactly the same before I started taking the medicine.\n\nSo my question is, can the brand/manufacturer make a difference in if it is working for me or not?", "post_id": "515ubk", "comment_id": "d79i18p"}, {"question": "Buspirone has, to my knowledge, one case report of serotonin syndrome in use with a much more serotonergic drug (fluoxetine, or Prozac). Cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) is associated with serotonin syndrome only in specific combinations, even even then the data are fairly weak. Serotonin syndrome doesn't make a great deal of sense with the mechanisms of action of either drug.\n\nI wouldn't recommend overdose on the two. Actually, I wouldn't recommend overdose on either one, although both are relatively safe, though unpleasant, even in massive overdose. But aside from that no concerns leap out at me.\n\nAs an aside, warnings about serotonin syndrome are slapped on all kinds of drugs. The automated warnings you can find are, bluntly, stupid. It's too easy to say DEATH even when it's a nonsensical evaluation.", "comment": " \n\n* 29\n* M\n* 5'11\n* 195\n* Caucasian\n* N/A\n* N/A\n* Anxiety, Insomnia, Hypertension (Fading)\n* Buspirone, Flexeril, Metoporlol, \n* N/A\n\nHi everyone, I just had a question regarding these two medications specifically. Google (ugh) tells me that Flexeril and Buspar have a MAJOR reaction with one another and can cause Serotonin Syndrome, but I called my pharmacist and he stated that he couldn't see why this would be the case.\n\n​\n\nEvery time I take Flexeril at night I sleep amazing with no pain, but as the next day goes on I start to ache all over. I Google'd the two medications I took together, which were Buspar and Flexeril, and now I'm freaking out thinking I was given two medications that can be potentially fatal if combined. I'm getting conflicting reports.\n\n​\n\nAny advice would be much appreciated, I feel crappy again today.", "post_id": "9v3oqz", "comment_id": "e998ckp"}, {"question": "Good luck. I was just thinking about the genetics piece. I think i probably inherited a disposition to anxiety snd/or managing stress etc poorly...and alchohol became the solution, as it probably did for relatives too. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8q0ax9", "comment_id": "e0g8awx"}, {"question": "Hi. For a stary how fantastic that you recognise this so early in youre life... v mature ! Some of my difficulties started in college ...if i were to go back i would get a job or two, volunteer, commit to hobbies which dont involve drinking, and travel . For me the environment centered around drinking so much, so changing that would have been v. helpful. In terms of how i cope with cravings i think i have a shorthand re why I'm not drinking e.g. family, health, energy and quality of life in general. Good luck and ENJOY college \ud83d\ude03", "comment": "Hi guys, I could really use some advice and tips because I just am so sick of struggling with my inner demons. I go to a college where the binge drinking culture is very bad and a solid chunk of my friends are alcoholics, but don\u2019t admit it. But I have to admit I\u2019m an alcoholic. I\u2019m a 21 year old girl and I just don\u2019t want to let alcohol control my life even more than it does. I go out 4 times a week, I\u2019ve drank\u2014 even in the day\u2014to get the courage to talk to people. I\u2019ve drank alone. I can only have \u201c1 drink\u201d in public but I secretly wish I could have more. I know it\u2019s inhibiting the best person I can be but every time I try to stop I get dragged back in. It also sucks because I struggle with depression and my meds make me feel numb and emotionless and I try to combat that with alcohol a lot, which is bad. How do you guys deal with cravings and does it get better? Do you guys have any certain phrases you say to your mind to help (for ex: \u201cthis craving will pass in a minute, don\u2019t give in). are there any other college students on this subreddit? If so, how did you maintain sobriety in a drinking culture environment? I\u2019m just so lost and this is the first time I\u2019ve posted on reddit. I see how great this community is and I could really use your kind words. ", "post_id": "8gtha5", "comment_id": "dyeij7a"}, {"question": "The problem is not what is approved for ADHD but what is in your particular insurance's formulary\u2014which medications they specifically have decided they will pay for without a doctor picking a fight with them. For that you probably want the insurance website, but even as a doctor I usually find it unhelpful, incomplete, and out of date. Good luck.", "comment": "31F, rest of info is not relevant to my question. Asking here in case my post gets removed from the pharmacy subreddit. \n\nI am restarting ADHD meds after several years and I would like to see a publicly accessible list of ADHD medications available in the US. I need to research what's currently covered by my lovely (/s) insurance company before my next appointment with the NP so I know what options I have to choose from because what I'm on now sadly isn't working. \n\nDoes the FDA have this option? I tried googling a bit and WebMD (*shudders*) came up, along with Medscape, but I was asked to sign in with an account. Is Medscape a good resource? Are there other resources you can recommend?\n\nMany thanks, and have a great day! \n\n", "post_id": "8zotkh", "comment_id": "e2kcqii"}, {"question": "You are asking a very Existential question...will life ever get better or will it be just an endless series of tasks and achievements. I can say that I sometimes feel the way you currently do. Can you recall the last time you felt like things were going your way?  What was different at that point?", "comment": "Failure after failure, pretty much my life. I have begun to really dislike adult life and adult responsibilities, it's all boogus, i'd rather be a small little child than this, and the worst thing is that there is no rest from it, it never ends, until you die that is. (Which is a really long time judging by statistics.)\n\n[\nFuckin' thing sucks!](https://youtu.be/VYrFnW8jpWA)\n\nSoooooo, does it get better?", "post_id": "60xhs8", "comment_id": "dfa5mly"}, {"question": "Dude. Tell your psychiatrist.", "comment": "I've been taking adderall for over a year and a half now but in the past 6 months I've been having a lot of anxiety with taking the medication. I've been having weird heart related things happen to me, such as very high heart rate (even late at night after the effects of it go away) and weird chest feelings. I just wanted to know if other people experience the same thing when on adderall and any ways I can try to calm myself about it. Its getting to a point that it's getting in the way of the things I need to do. Any advice on what to do?", "post_id": "ew11gm", "comment_id": "ffzeyr8"}, {"question": "That's normal. Therapy is a process, and you may at times feel a bit worse (especially when digging up past stuff) before you feel better. The important part is to remember to ride out those dips because you are working toward a goal: a happier you ", "comment": "For some reason I feel more down than what I was before.\n\nWith my first appointment I was really happy and cheerful. \n\nJust want to curl up into a ball right now. ", "post_id": "tlyhr", "comment_id": "c4o8s88"}, {"question": "go to marriage counseling", "comment": "Long time lurker, first time poster.\n\nMy husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2.\n\nEver since we met he has made it clear that even though he was working other jobs, he wanted to pursue art professionally. I was really attracted to his passion, ability to work hard, and romantic side, but recently realized I resent him for his focus on art.\n\nBefore we got married and up until this year, even though he spent a lot of time on his art, we paid half/half on everything and split chores evenly. But after losing his job (layoffs), he decided to focus 100% on his art... without considering our financial status.\n\nHe currently is working part time as an art tutor for college students, so his pay fluctuates but barely reaches a third of what he used to make. This pay is spent only on his art (materials, studio, canvas, etc.) and his cell phone bill. On my salary, which has only gone up maybe a couple hundred dollars in the last year, I pay everything else. When I'm not working, I try to make side money with freelance projects as much as I can. Because even though we are getting by and still putting a tiny bit in savings, at this point I have no hope for retirement, a down payment, or kids.\n\nI maybe could've dealt with this career change, as I knew his job at the time was making him very unhappy, except he is barely helping out at home. Originally it was split evenly, but now he only does dishes and takes out the trash. For the last six months I've tried chore charts, I've tried sending him to-do lists, but so far nothing has worked. When I tell him I need him to help out more at home it's always, \"I'm so sorry I'll do better,\" and then it reverts back after a week.\n\nI'm stressed out because I work 6 days a week (he works at most 20 hours per week) and just can't do it all, which unsurprisingly has led to resentment. I find myself prone to outbursts of anger (not directed at him, alone) every time I notice something \"bad\" (Eg. If he forgets to turn off a light, clean dishes but the counter is dirty, etc.).\n\nI love him, and honestly do not want to get a divorce until I've exhausted all my options.\n\nTL;DR: Husband used to go halves on everything and help out at home. After getting laid off he works part-time as a tutor so he can focus on his art. I'm going crazy because we're just getting by and I end up doing everything at home while working 6 days a week.\n\nAny suggestions on how to get through to him, or to bring up my resentment? ", "post_id": "71xmly", "comment_id": "dne6nt3"}, {"question": "So I used to have bad symptoms when it wore off (headache, depressed, aggressive/temper, just feel like shit). I don't find the come down with vyvanse to be that way at all. Instead, all of a sudden it just... wears off. Just a thought! ", "comment": "EVERYTIME i come down off of this fucking adderal i feel like a useless piece of shit and i realize all that self-esteem came from my dumbass medication  BLEEPBLoooPBlahHH GAH FUCK my adhd is so bad i feel lethargic after this bullshit wares off, my mind is so cluttered lord help me, time to go on earthporn for 5 minutes until i forget why i am there and then watch 3 tv shows at once while doing homework and reading. shit.", "post_id": "6zq6xc", "comment_id": "dmxf1lm"}, {"question": "hard to know. she's confused, ambivalent?? ask her to talk to a therapist and maybe she'll get her thoughts together.", "comment": "He Reddit. I've been thinking about making this post for a while now.\n\nBasically me and my girlfriend had been dating for 3 years, we've been fighting a lot lately over small stupid things, one night when she was over we had sex, because usually when we're getting over a fight that's what we do to connect with eachother in a way. She didn't really seem like she wanted to when I first started but still didn't refuse. She just had a look of boredom on her face the entire way through. This happened twice before a realized what had been going on. I had also noticed that she doesn't really send me naked pictures anymore, which is not an issue at all, it's just weird to not have that after its kind of like a routine.\n\nSo one day I asked her why she hasn't seemed interested in anything sexual lately and she told me that she feels like I had been forcing her to have sex. When I think back to it I was pressuring her to but I don't think that I was like forcing her, if she would have told me no I would have stopped. \n\nA couple nights ago I came to her house to surprise her and try to cheer her up. I knew she was hanging out with one of her girlfriends but I just wanted to stop by quick to give her some chocolates and a kiss because it seems like we're drifting apart. When I got there and went inside she was laying in bed with her male friend, whom she knows I have an issue with. Neither of them were under the covers. Nothing was going on at that point. She told me her friend had just left and he came over to drop off some books she left in class (didn't see any books around but didn't really look) I read somewhere online that a loss of interest in sex could be due to being interested or having sex with someone else.\n\nI don't see myself giving up on this relationship any time soon. But I've always been very worried about that guy in particular more then anyone else. They talk all the time probably more then me and her do at this point and he snapchats her with his shirt off and stuff, she sometimes refuses to include me in pictures she's sending to him.\n\nSo I have a few questions for you guys\n\n1.Do you thinks she's cheating or interested in dating this guy?\n\n2.What can I do to show her that she doesn't have to feel forced to have sex with me/ doesn't have to be afraid?\n\n3. Do you think I should continue trying to fix this? I'm probably going to try either way, but I value your input.", "post_id": "5v19eo", "comment_id": "ddyicha"}, {"question": "Before he gets sectioned? Is he not going in voluntarily? How do you know that he will be sectioned?", "comment": "I'm looking to go out and buy my friend a few things before he gets sectioned to hopefully ease his time there.  He's into writing and drawing, so I was thinking about getting him a few art supplies, but I don't know what the policy is on pointy objects like pencils.  I'm really not sure if they allow you to bring in anything at all.\n\nI was going to pick up a few graphic novels, too, but will he be able to take them?  Will violent themes be an issue?  Will I be able to bring board or card games while visiting?  \n\nAny help would be appreciated.  The websites I've found don't really seem to cover this part.", "post_id": "5kauav", "comment_id": "dbn89w0"}, {"question": "Please host the photo wherever you'd like (imgur.com is convenient) and post a link.", "comment": "Age 17\n\nSex Male\n\nHeight 180 cm\n\nWeight 63 kg\n\nRace middle eastern \n\nDuration of complaint unspecified \n\nLocation Lebanon\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues none \n\nCurrent medications none\n\nInclude a photo if relevant", "post_id": "j6gxr4", "comment_id": "g7yujw5"}, {"question": "It\u2019s difficult to tell from your blurb how seriously these comments are meant. Is she seriously suicidal, is she making a flip comment about feeling overwhelmed, or somewhere in between? Have you noticed any other symptoms they concern you? Change in overall mood, sleep, energy, appearance? Any other information you can share would be helpful.", "comment": "So my wife told me that there are times she just wants to give up or feels like she's hanging off a cliff and I'm just \"standing there waiting for her to figure it out\". I've tried to talk to her, I've tried to take our kids off her hands (she's a stay at home mom with our four boys), tried to tell her she can just take a night off and go out with one of our friends. Nothing seems to matter and there are some days that are worse than others. Is it possible that she's got some sort of intermittent post-partum? Or is it a deeper lying depression? I want to do what I can to support her and if it's something we need to reach out for help for, I'd love some advice. Thanks!", "post_id": "bxpswc", "comment_id": "eq8zpdn"}, {"question": "A good thing to keep in mind is that, in children, there are many issues that, to a poorly trained or non-thorough practitioner, can disguise themselves as ADHD. These include: depression, anxiety, OCD, early onset Bipolar disorder, sleep deprivation, problems at home, bullying, conduct disorder, and hyperthyroidism to name a few. \n\nGiven that many parents are more comfortable taking their child to a GP or pediatrician rather than a psychiatrist or psychologist (where these possible other issues could be explored) the child is more likely to be slapped with an ADHD diagnosis and given said medication than had they seen a mental health practitioner. Secondly, now-a-days (at least in America) physicians are overworked and often do not have the time or energy to sit down for a true differential diagnosis process. \n\nI would imagine (and is probably just speculative and anecdotal) that this can lead to stimulant prescriptions to non-ADHD children.", "comment": "http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2014-07-03/ritalin-may-be-sabotaging-your-kids\n\nOne might have anticipated that easier access to medication would lead to improved health and, ideally, better educational performance. Instead, we found evidence that the children using stimulants fared slightly worse. After the insurance expansion, the Quebec children experienced more depression and anxiety -- problems that could be side effects of stimulant medication. Meanwhile, there was little evidence of any benefits for the children's schooling. On the contrary, we found their chances of progressing through school without repeating a grade to be somewhat lower than they had been before the insurance expansion and lower than those of children in the rest of Canada. Their probability of high school graduation likewise declined a bit.\n\nAfter the insurance policy change, more boys than girls started using stimulants, including many whose initial ADHD symptoms were minimal. Among girls, increased stimulant use was more concentrated among those with high initial levels of ADHD symptoms. Even so, the added stimulant use among girls was associated with more symptoms of anxiety and depression, falling math scores, and a decline in the probability they would go on to get a post-secondary education.", "post_id": "2a2txg", "comment_id": "cir5e3a"}, {"question": "perhaps she can brought into your therapy to address couple concerns", "comment": "Thanks for taking a look at my post. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since we were both 19 years old. We have been living together for the past three years. I am having doubts on whether to propose to her. I am scared of the fear of divorce later on - my worst fear is being a divorced dad who only sees his kids on the weekends. Sometimes I feel like I'm not entirely happy in the relationship. We have been through our ups and downs for sure and we rarely argue. I've had concerns in the past and I started getting feelings for another girl, but I realized it was just a feeling I was chasing and not a true relationship. I could tell that my girlfriend really loves me and says that she wants me to propose to her and she is afraid that if I don't make a decision soon she will have to find someone else to have kids with. I'm not sure what to do. I love the feeling that I get when I flirt with other people but I know that it won't be the same as what I have now. I am adventurous and love to do new things and travel, and I am a young professional that works many hours. But lately I haven't been feeling that same excitement that same drive and motivation that I used to feel. I have been dealing with anxiety for a while and have been going to therapy for it, but I cringe at the thought of getting married because I've always had difficulty making decisions and that this decision is permanent. I do not take divorce lightly  and  I feel that  we are obligated to each other in this relationship. I love her but I want to feel that exciting adventurous motivation again that has dwindled away. I have been feeling stuck. What should I do?", "post_id": "5pjww5", "comment_id": "dcrpmlb"}, {"question": "Yes, absolutely. In sexual assault responses there is a huge spectrum of \"normal\" because it's a very personal thing. I suppose I should have said that op's response is very common , but it's by no means the ONLY type of response. This is one thig that is so hard for the public to understand-- there is no one \"typical\" way for a rape survivor to act, but tv and movies persist in showing one type of response, which then makes it difficult for the public to accept other types of responses as \"real.\" It's very unfortunate, ESP when it comes to trying to prosecute cases, because juries expect the tv type of response.", "comment": "After dealing with panic attacks, extreme anxiety, inability to do classroom speeches or demonstrations, depression because of all this, and extreme trouble coping with school/interpersonal relationships related to school I decided for the first time to get counseling.\n\nI went in not expecting to even talk about my rape, but somehow it just came up during the background questions. And I exploded. I started crying and I've been on the verge of crying ever since.\n\nIs this normal? I do believe that I am a naturally anxious person, have been my whole life, but after my rape my anxiety became debilitating. I almost dropped out of school because I couldn't give a speech- I would honestly rather die then do something like this. My panic attacks are so bad I cannot speak. \n\nAnyways I am rambling and pretty lost right now. I know that what happened to me is a giant part of my anxiety, but is there any way therapy can avoid this topic and still help me? I am such a mess now and I'm in a very difficult program at school. I can't deal with this. But not dealing with it isn't an option either.\n\nDoes it get better? What do I do? My therapist's plans for me seem so simple; meditation and CBT. She also mentioned that I seemed okay and that I'm not the kind of person who would be in therapy forever/long time. Somehow I feel like I didn't get across how fucked up I feel. I guess **I** didn't even realize it. \n\nI am so lost. It's been 5 years and I feel like I've made no progress. I feel so alone. I'm scared she will dismiss me before I'm truly rehabilitated. I'm scared my issues are too big to tackle. Is it normal to feel so messed up? It was only 1hr long intro session of therapy and I'm just completely dismantled.\n\nThanks for listening, I'm not really even sure what I'm asking. Maybe just some experiences with therapy and whether or not it gets worse before it gets better? Continue? I do really like my therapist if that means anything.", "post_id": "2g1mdm", "comment_id": "ckfb8pj"}, {"question": "Sounds like he experienced a manic episode with psychotic features.\n\nGlad he got some help. Hope he's doing better. ", "comment": "So my friend had a month of what I could only describe as a manic episode. he said it all started when he woke up with perfect hair. he felt as if everyone was talking to him only because of his perfect hair. He then moved on to a day where he was god. He was to bless everyone that came in and decide if they were worthy. From there he was approached endlessly by beautiful dark haired women who were sent to seduce him. After that he had a week where he became hyper sexual and overly flamboyant. He knew the motions weren't him, but he couldn't stop it. Then he spent two weeks feeling as if he was underwater. \n\nHe was sent to a psych ward, but no one identified what his illness was. Does anyone have any idea?", "post_id": "6fns12", "comment_id": "dijl2gm"}, {"question": "Some advice: start anywhere, with anything. Keep experimenting and keep an open mind. Generate some curiousity about the different kinds of lives people lead, ask questions, read books, search online, whatever. Also investigate hobbies of all sorts and try out anything you can that even remotely interests you. \n\nIf you truly don't enjoy anything, you have depression or some other mood disorder, which you will have to identify the cause of and treatment for, ideally with professional help. \n\nYou might also look into self-compassion. There is really no need or use in beating yourself up because you haven't been journaling during a pandemic. We're all doing the best we can and sometimes our best kinda sucks. That's ok. Start journaling now if it's important to you. It might help you get some clarity about the changes you might make.", "comment": "So I spiralled out of control during COVID and failed all that I've set out to do. If you check my post history, you'd see that I originally wanted to do a daily journal, well, that went nowhere. \n\nI lost my job during COVID and my dad dragged me to his company. Today, a particularly bad day, I couldn't bring myself o do anything and sat aimlessly with a blank look on my face at his secretary's desk. Which resulted in one of those emotional moments where he tells me that he will care for me all he can while he's alive but I have got to find something I'm passionate about. He doesn't expect me to earn big money, but at least enough to live on, and don't expect help from even the closest relatives. He doesn't have many years left. \n\nHe means well I'm sure. But the morbidity and realism of the topic at hand further worsened my mental state. At some point I was, or rather am thinking that I'd just end my life the moment both of my parents are dead. I mean, what else is there to live for? \n\nI feel like a huge disappoinment to them, to everyone, and most of all to myself. I've racked my brains and I don't know if I can honestly say there's something I would enjoy doing all day. I don't remember the last time I found something enjoyable that brought me anything more than a fleeting joy. \n\nI thought I'd feel better typing this out, sharing this, but I don't. I still feel the same. \n\nHelp.", "post_id": "gs1vta", "comment_id": "fs2jsg2"}, {"question": "Been there. Truth is he doesn\u2019t deserve it, you\u2019re right. But, you can change and be the person and partner you want to be. It doesn\u2019t magically happen though. I know exactly how that guilt feels, and how feeling like a piece of shit feels. If you didn\u2019t feel that way, there wouldn\u2019t be much hope. Use that feeling as motivation to change. I understand you already drank, and if you\u2019re like me, there is no stopping tonight until you\u2019re out or pass out. But, tomorrow, when you wake up feeling like shit and that feeling of guilt and shame is ten times what it is now, choose to change instead of drinking to cope with those feelings. You can do it. \n\nBesides, I\u2019m sure he knows right now anyways, and just isn\u2019t saying anything. Wine has a pretty strong odor; you\u2019re probably not pulling it off like you may think. Might be best to be honest and tell him you want help in the morning. I wouldn\u2019t suggest this conversation when your already drinking. Best of luck. There is help, and there is a way out of this.", "comment": "My fianc\u00e9 deserves better. Today, I convinced him I wanted a certain meal for dinner. I didn\u2019t. I sent him to this particular restaurant because I KNEW I could get to the liquor store and back before he even got to the restaurant. And mother fucking shit. I truly hate myself. He would never even begin to suspect. Because he loves and trusts me. And I am not. Fucking. Deserving. Of his trust. Or love. Or company... or anything. He\u2019s too good. We shouldn\u2019t even breathe the same air.\n\n\nBut here I am. Water bottle full of Pinot Grigio. A pink bottle, by the way. So white wine looks the same as water. And I feel so fucking guilty and so in love. Because he would never fucking question me when I tell him \u201cI\u2019m ok\u201d.\n\nHe deserves better. But I\u2019m terrified of losing him, because no one has ever loved me like this. And at the same time, that\u2019s why I feel so fucking terrible. He deserves better. But I want to be his \u201cbetter.\u201d I\u2019m not ready to lose him. But I also don\u2019t think  prepared to be the person he deserves.", "post_id": "d4s5pv", "comment_id": "f0g6fwp"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "So I'm in quite a peculiar situation. My boyfriend cheated and says it made realize he had fallen in love with me.\n\nI'm a senior in College and I've been dating this guy for almost a year. It was very light and fun at first because we both new we were graduating but we ultimately fell head over heels for each other. \n\nSince we are graduating soon, we started having talks about our relationship and the likelihood of it ending as we are going separate ways due to job opportunities. We stayed together because our relationship was so special but neither of us had openly admitted that we'd be willing to try long distance. \n\nTwo weeks ago, things got heavy and I realized that I gebuinely wanted to see where our relationship could go after graduation. He told me he loved me and that he had been holding it in. I reciprocated and we got even closer than before. \n\nToday, I told him flat out that I want to be with him after graduation and I would regret it if we didn't try to make this work long distance. He fought me a little, being very wary of the concept until he got extremely emotional. He told me he had slept with someone and that it happened the night before he told me he loved me. \n\nAfter some screaming (my part) and begging (his part) and crying (mutual) I let him talk. It was a classmate of his that was going through the same relationship issue and didn't know what to do. They had bonded over that. \n\nHe explained that he did it as a sort of self sabotage, because he didn't want it to be as hard to break up. He figured if he did something so bad, it would help him move on. He said that immediately after, though we had only talked about going our separate ways, he knew that he was in love with me and had made the biggest mistake of his life. \n\nThe next day he told me he loved me and I was oblivious. I had noticed the change in him though and I could see in his eyes the way he looked at me. I have never felt that close to anyone in my life. \n\nHe says that he wasn't going to tell me he had cheated because we are going our separate ways in a month and he didn't want to put that pain on me if it wasn't necessary.\n\nThe reason he broke down and told me was because when I said I wanted to stay together after graduation, he knew that he wanted to as well. He also knew that he couldn't stay with me without telling me of the night 2 weeks ago that ultimately forced him to realize this fact. \n\nPlease help. I have been cheated on before and have had no trouble kicking the guy to the curb with a firm \"good riddence\". But this guy is special. And I truly believe him. I just don't know if I can forgive him or trust him. Is it worth it?", "post_id": "68kdkw", "comment_id": "dgzfal0"}, {"question": "don't take it personally", "comment": "hey folks so basically my partner just isn't as interested in sex as i am bc they're dealing with trauma from an abusive ex. they has perfectly good reasons for not wanting to be sexual which i respect. we're on a break from stuff right now but it's been so hard for me my confidence is fucking zero and i thought maybe when i found a job i would feel better about myself but it's not helping either. it doesn't feel like i can say anything bc like what am i gonna say? your trauma is hard for me? that's just not fair. but i can't stand feeling like this i just wanna feel good about myself. fuck idk ", "post_id": "70tesj", "comment_id": "dn5ud63"}, {"question": "memorize a list of topics so your conversation an flow better. with experience and practice you'll be fine. have as many coffee dates with diff. girls as possible, even though they are not the love of your life", "comment": "I know this may be a stupid question but I'm just not really sure how to go about \"trying to talk\" to a girl nowadays. \n\nWhen I was in school and has classes and time to hang out with girls it was a lot easier. After school I ended up moving out of state for a bit came back and dated an old friend for a few years. After that ended I moved to a different city and I've started a life up here now. \n\nI work Wednesday through Sunday 9-7 and it's about a 40 minutes drive to and from work on top of opening and closing the store so I don't ever have much to go out and meet people and I don't feel like the bar or anything would be a good place to try and find a relationship. \n\nI've made a tinder and had a few matches and I'll send a message out asking if they want to meet up for dinner one day or go kayaking or something of the sort but never get any replies back and I feel most people use that for hook ups anyways. \n\nI just recently turned 25 and I just miss being with someone and would like to have a relationship again. So my question is what's the best way to try and approach girls and \"try and talk to them\" whether in person or on Tinder? I feel like I'm not a horrible looking guy or anything but I'm also sure most girls get hit on a lot so I don't want to just be some other random guy you know? \n\nThank you for your time and help though (: ", "post_id": "6rcn6a", "comment_id": "dl4293l"}, {"question": "Might consider seeing a counselor (a LPC or LMHC depending on your state). While they don't have quite as much education as psychologists (6 years vs. 8-9 years), but they still are competent therapists and can be helpful.", "comment": "Long story short, I need to find out why I'm unhappy most of the time.  I'm on meds from my PCP, but my BS in Psych tells me I should talk to someone to figure out if there is a non-biochemical reason for my issues. I'm high functioning and not suicidal. \n\nDoes anyone know of any legit online places I can talk to a real professional?", "post_id": "1gvum0", "comment_id": "caobfwk"}, {"question": "That\u2019s more than enough unless there\u2019s some reason for you to have very high water needs. That\u2019s more than twice the overused maxim that everyone should drink 8 cups of water a day. \n\nGenerally, drinking when you\u2019re thirsty will give you enough. Our kidneys are great at balancing fluid intake and losses and signaling when more water is needed.", "comment": "Thank you in advance!\n\n6'4\" Male\n\n235 lbs\n\nAge 39\n\nBi-racial (black and white)\n\nDesk job but average about 10k steps per day\n\nI jog/walk 3 miles about 3-5x/week\n\nI take Mega Man multivitamins\n\n​\n\nI average around 150 ounces each day. Is this enough?", "post_id": "ajhpiw", "comment_id": "eevmlrr"}, {"question": "Your tutor clearly has his own anxieties about maintaining his cultural identity and the possibility that his children will assimilate. He is projecting his own issues onto you. He has no business bringing his personal issues into your math tutoring.  \n\n\nWhen you say your parents will be offended, do you mean they will be offended by the tutor's comments, or offended that you identify as American? If the former, I think your parents would want to know about this before they spend any more money on additional lessons from this guy. If the latter, maybe you could focus on his other comments and how you felt hurt because you really do want to connect more to Chinese culture.", "comment": "I am an American born Chinese. I don't speak any Chinese except maybe a few simple words. A few days ago, during my first lesson, my math tutor (not Chinese, but Algerian) asked me if I identified as American more or Chinese. I said American. Throughout the lesson, he started asking more questions, about if I knew the language, how often I went back to China (not often at all). He seemed very surprised, and began saying things like \"I don't want my child to turn out like you\" and \"Wow, you don't know the language at all? That's very sad.\" and \"You've said that you call yourself American, it's a little too late for you to see your Chinese side.\" It really hurt to hear it because I have been trying to learn more about my Chinese side (I'm taking a language class in it right now), but it's hard when I have such little exposure to the culture.   \nI can't tell anyone, especially not my parents because I know they will be very offended and that's something I really want to avoid because they've spent a lot of money on these classes. Now my parents think that I absolutely hate math (I don't, I just suck), but really, I'm just dreading seeing him again. ", "post_id": "97a3no", "comment_id": "e475fpn"}, {"question": "Please go to an emergency room now. Some antidepressants have active metabolites that can harm your body hours later if not treated. \nAnd you have survived, so you\u2019ll need a HEALTHY body.\nXo", "comment": "So I don't think this will stop people from ending their but maybe it will make someone rethink it. Today I tried to overdosed on 1000mg of antidepressants, at about 8:30pm I took ten pills and waited.\n\nNow obviously, I didn't die. But it feels like I am. After about an hour I got dozy, had a hard time keeping my head up and stuff. I wasn't scared, I wasn't sad I was just so groggy. Ten minutes after that my stomach began to ache.\n\nFor half an hour I threw up stomach acid violently. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I went to my room to lay down, hell I should've gone to a hospital. The dizziness got worse and I was gagging constantly. I couldnt lay down without hurting, I couldnt sit up without falling down and standing up out of the question. Even now, almost four hours later my body is in small spasms and I'm having a hard time just typing because my body is shaking uncontrollably.\n\nMy head still hurts and I cant focus on much, Im exhausted and I cant sleep. This isnt fun, I wish that I didnt do this honestly. I wish I didnt try like this. So if you read this and youre thinking of ending your life with pills, just give it a second thought because its not a painless death.", "post_id": "91fftl", "comment_id": "e2xz5z7"}, {"question": "It\u2019s not usually reveled to minors when part of an IEP. I had mine done as a kid because I did exceedingly well in topics I enjoyed and below average in topics I didn\u2019t. So they wanted to assess me for a learning disability. Turns out I just had a hard time paying attention and focusing on certain topics. \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "eo778z", "comment_id": "fe9zsjp"}, {"question": "The realization there is huge. A big thing around my sober community is calling yourself when you have realizations like this because these thoughts can be fleeting and if we don't get them out in the open and concrete the idea in our minds then they can be very dangerous. On your second point, I echo the same sentiment, that is a big deal to see that in yourself and have the courage to put it in writing. I know I didn't have a problem sounding like a blathering idiot while I was drunk, and if you've seen me on here you know that is still quite true. I know almost every fear I had coming into sobriety revolved around the central fear of what will other people think of me. It completely controlled my behaviors. Despite other people's thoughts about me on a deeper level is completely outta my control. Sure I could act this way, or say this, or wear this, so as to control how people viewed me on a superficial level, but even that was still beyond my power. That being said the only I know to relieve myself from that came through AA. I don't know what you do in regards to a program of recovery, but I know these things are addressable in more ways the one. \n\nNow for the short term, what tools do you have going into tomorrow? How are you going to deal with cravings, being offered a drink, triggers, etc. Just like it's important to call yourself out it is important to know what way you will react that is beneficial to you and your sobriety this weekend. I don't know if you have any or not, but if it were me I'd put them in place now so the risk of drinking is reduced. I see a painful number of posts on here saying things to the effect of, \"I f'd up\".", "comment": "Long-ish story short, lost my job because I'm an alcoholic.\n\nI keep catching myself saying \"Ok, if I do this, this, and this, maybe I can get my career back\".\n\nCompletely ignoring the reason I lost it was that I am an alcoholic.  Its so stressful to think that I may have to say good bye to that part of my life that it over shadows, that I forget that I'm supposed to be focusing on my alcoholism and not my career now.\n\nI quit cigarettes, because I caught myself lying to myself.  I used to smoke 1/2 a pack a day.  1/2 before lunch, 1/2 before I went to bed.  I really believed that.\n\nThis feels EXTREMELY familiar in that regard.\n\nI have an all weekend BBQ/Rafting trip planned starting tomorrow.  Its going to be booze all night, booze all day on the river, and booze all night long on Saturday.  My friends will be supportive.  Even though I've not ever come out to them that I'm an alcoholic, I would be kidding myself to think they don't know.  They probably knew before I did.  Any time I've said I'm taking a break from drinking they say \"thats probably a good idea\".\n\nIts more the stress of not drinking that is scary to me right now.  Just trying to socialize without my old buddy alcohol.  Feel like I'm going to sound like a retard.  But they will not give me slack for it, very supportive group. It's more myself that I'm afraid of.  Not that I'm gonna drink, that I just don't know how to act in these situations without drinking.\n\nApologies for the 2 different points in one post.  Just kind of how my mind is working these days.  Can not stay on point, even if it would be in my best interest.\n", "post_id": "1iljze", "comment_id": "cb5qko5"}, {"question": "Hey, we had the exact same college years :)", "comment": "I was at university from 2013 to 2016. I lived in halls in first year and a shared houses in second and third year. During first and second year I lived with with six other students; shared bathrooms, shared kitchen, everything. I shared glasses during drinking games. I went out to bars and clubs. I rode on buses. I ate at cafes on campus. I was much less careful about hand-washing and weird food and not touching my face then too, and I also worked at a supermarket during the school holidays.\n\nI never got sick the whole three years. Not once.\n\nNobody I lived with got sick from anything other than drinking too much except one girl I lived with in third year - and even that wasn't really a \"tummy bug\". There were five of us in that house and no one else caught whatever she had.\n\nIf a bunch of students who have, at best, a vague grasp of basic hygiene practices managed avoid getting sick, you're probably fine.", "post_id": "eri9c0", "comment_id": "ff51we6"}, {"question": "Join us over at r/CPTSD! There are lots of resources on the sidebar and at https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCPTSDtoolbox/ including: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCPTSDtoolbox/comments/adwma3/cptsd_books_media_library/", "comment": "I have not processed the trauma I grew up with. My family chooses to bottle it up inside and everyone deals with it separately. That means I\u2019ve just never talked about it. I get instantly angry when it does come up and I can feel the frustration and resentment festering. I think I need to acknowledge it to get rid of it. The abuser has been out of my life for almost ten years, but I would really like to move into a healing stage. \n\nCan anyone recommend a book that helped you process domestic abuse on your own and that helped you let it go and move on? ", "post_id": "al6fm6", "comment_id": "efd1mop"}, {"question": "They don\u2019t interact, but clonazepam has its own risks and should be overseen and managed by a doctor, not just given out at a one-time ER appointment, if I\u2019m being asked.", "comment": "Male, 25yo 1,86cm, caucasian\n\n6 to 12 months of worsening of ADHD (diagnosed in youth, untreated for 5 years), impulsion phobia recently diagnosed, a couple of years of evolution i'd say, anxiety\n\nsmoker 1 pack a week, alcohol about 15 units a week\n\ni went to the ER psychiatrist today and she diagnosed the impulsion phobia and said that probably there was too some depression, she prescribed me for impulsion phobia and depression the sertraline and clonacepam to help me sleep with the adhd problems too\n\nmy doubt is, could these drugs interact with the methilfenidate for the ADHD?", "post_id": "d6zp3a", "comment_id": "f0wykc8"}, {"question": "just sounds like you have an active imagination. ", "comment": "I don't know how to define this, so please help me out.\nWhen I listen to music or watch a music video, I identify with a player and fantasize about my playing the instrument. I deeply absorb myself in this fantasy and get really high. Is this a mental symptom? What is this called? ", "post_id": "416rzt", "comment_id": "cz0dfhq"}, {"question": "Thank you for taking the time to respond! :) that\u2019s a good point about the gurgles being more of a stress thing. I like the idea of reminding myself that this is temporary. I\u2019m still feeling fine today!", "comment": "So my boyfriend brought back fresh fish from where his parents live in California to where we live in the Midwest. He flew it back. He has done this several times before and it\u2019s always been fine. They vacuum seal the fish and freeze it, then pack it in freezer packs. Usually, the fish is still frozen solid when he arrives back in the Midwest. However, this time, it was thawed. Still cold, like felt refrigerator-temperature, but not frozen. Maybe because he had a long layover this time. When he got back from the airport, we put the fish directly in the freezer.\n\nWe cooked some of the salmon up tonight. We ate it about 5 hours ago. Of course, I\u2019ve been jumpy ever since. I\u2019m proud of myself for going for it and eating the salmon, but now my stomach is all gurgly. I don\u2019t even have a stomach ache or throat n* - just the gassiness. Should I be okay?", "post_id": "ejt5qj", "comment_id": "fd2l043"}, {"question": "\"Aromatic\": adj.  having a pleasing smell. ", "comment": "hello, me and a friend decided to try out a romantic relationship.\n\nit was his idea and the feelings came from his part, and i agreed to try it because i thought it would be unfair to not give it a go. however, i'm not a very affectionate person and not too keen on romance, so after a bit of research and talking with others i think i'm aromantic? \n\nhe is a good and sweet friend and we have alot in common, so i know he won't judge me or be rude or whatever but i want to end the romantic aspect of our relationship and keep the platonic- how do i explain my situation to him? \n\nedit: i meant \"aromantic\" not aromatic. my apologies", "post_id": "6dh8ck", "comment_id": "di2li8k"}, {"question": "As a psychiatrist, id say keep an open mind about what's causing your inattentiveness. There could be many reasons for your difficulties, including ADHD, but nothing is guaranteed. There's no harm in a psychiatric assessment though.", "comment": "This is going to be mostly venting, so prepare for that. (Throwaway account for obvious reasons)\n\nI am 15, and as far as I can remember, I have had symptoms of severe ADD. A lot of people will think ADD or ADHD and they will think of like, a little kid distracted by a butterfly when playing soccer or something, and while it is sort of like that, It's way much more broader and not something that should be taken lightly. Well, for me anyway. I'm sure some people who have ADD or ADHD will just see it as a funny little thing like \n\n*\"Oh, there I go getting distracted by that butterfly again! Haha, whoops!\"*\n\nI'm not trying to make fun of people with mild ADD, I'm just saying that that I don't have mild ADD. I think mine is a lot worse.\n\nAll throughout elementary school and middle school, I was known as the kid who always didn't finish my homework, or who was always daydreaming in class, or who just didn't even pay attention to the teacher when she talked. If the teacher gave out instructions, I would always have to hear it one, two, or three more times before I would actually know what the hell I was supposed to do.\n\nMy mind is always somewhere else, unless what I am doing is interesting. If I am playing a video game where I have to remember to do a lot of complex things, I can do it, as long as the game is fun for me. That's the thing, if I am interested, I can work like anybody else.\n\nI am terrible with conversations. Most of my friends have gotten used to me not always following what they are saying, but for strangers, they think I am getting bored listening to them. They probably think \"Why should I even talk to this guy? He is falling asleep just listening to me!\"\n\nThat's not the case at all. I JUST. CAN'T. FOCUS. I'm too busy thinking about what I'm gonna do when I get home. Then when I get home, I'll be thinking about what I'm going to be having for dinner. Then, when I'm having dinner, I'll be thinking about what I'm going to be doing the next day. And while I'm doing all these things, I'm not really doing them, I'm half assing them at best. I'm on auto pilot, 24/7, 7 days a week, 30 days a month... however many days a year! (I think it's like 225, right?) \n\n\nEdit: it's 365. I don't know why I googled that, it has nothing to do with what I'm saying, but whatever.\n\n\nIt's ruining my life. I can't do anything 100%. Something will be wrong. I've never looked at something I've done, like cleaned my room, or finished a school project, and have said *\"Yeah, that's completely finished! No mistakes! I'm proud of that!\"*\n\nI can't do simple tasks. I'll be trying to find a certain paper, or a certain screwdriver, and I won't be able to find it. Then, my brother will just ask what I'm looking for, and he'll see it right there. I don't have any vision problems, it's just that my mind isn't fully there.\n\nIt's not laziness. I hear people say it all the time, that I'm lazy. I'M NOT LAZY. I am trying to do it. I'm trying to listen to what you're saying. I'm trying to get my work done. I'm trying to get organized and be more focused.\n\nI just can't. It's in my head. I can't fix it. My family think I am just lazy. I try to explain to them that I have ADD, but they don't want to hear it. They are too busy working, they don't have time to see if I have this disorder that they probably think doesn't even exist, and is just a way for kids to get special treatment, or get away with things. Yeah, I'm sure some kids do use it as a crutch, but I am not. I wish I could shout it on the fucking rooftops, I'm not lazy, I'm trying, it's harder for me, they don't get it.\n\nAnyway, I was done venting like 2 paragraphs ago, I just needed to explain this to someone. *Anyone* willing to listen. I just can't wait until I can talk to a psychiatrist or a doctor myself, and finally be put on medication. I hope it fixes me.\n\nI know ADD isn't anything like what is normally talked about here. Some of the things people are dealing with here pale in comparison to what I'm dealing with. I just thought I would share. Anyway, hopefully reading this was easy. A lot of the people I talk to say that I jump from one topic to another. Thanks for reading if you could.", "post_id": "4xklfn", "comment_id": "d6ggt7n"}, {"question": "I wrote a guide on [how to make conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation). It might be pretty helpful for you :)", "comment": "Whenever I'm talking to someone alone, I never seem to be able to keep the conversation going. I've tried asking open-ended questions and talking about the other person and then asking tangential questions about them. Still far too often my brain starts jamming and the conversation devolves into an awkward silence.\rAnt suggestions or ideas?", "post_id": "3u3nk7", "comment_id": "cxca9jm"}, {"question": "clearly there's a friendship here. she's fragile right now. i would stay in touch, take your cues from her, give her whatever space she needs, be a good friend, and not have expectations.", "comment": "So I have known [F25] for several years, through mutual friends. Always had feelings for her, never thought they were mutual. Little things happen over the years gradually building up. Over the course of last year had alcohol fuelled encounters through mutual friends, always ending with kissing or more. Weirdly, never speak by text or phone, but get on well when we see each other sober, again through mutual friends. Most recent encounters around Christmas things step up a level. Confesses feelings for me, say we will date. I text her and she doesn\u2019t reply. See her last weekend, drinking with mutual friends, although she is sober. She repeats that she has feelings, is serious, wants to date, she asks about how long I have had feelings for her, I explain that my feelings became stronger following our encounters over the year. She explains that she had been going through a dark time, and doesn\u2019t remember those encounters, but nonetheless reiterates her feelings for me. We end up alone, spend all night together, mainly kissing. We eventually get a cab to our respective homes. The next day she has a breakdown (she suffers from depression), following an unrelated argument with a family member. I decide to give her some time before contacting. Before I can contact her a mutual friend tells me that her head is all over the place and that she has said she doesn\u2019t want to take things any further with me, but that she does want to speak with me properly at some point, sober. With her fragile state of mind I do not want to hassle her about our relationship, though I would like to take it further, but at the same time I do not want to leave it too long and risk losing her forever, as my feelings are genuine, and I do believe that hers are. Where do I stand and what should I do?", "post_id": "5ptink", "comment_id": "dctp9m1"}, {"question": "Hey! Just wanted to let you know that I'm an Aspie in the Austin area. I was diagnosed 10 years ago and have worked hard to manage the challenges of Asperger's since then (I write about what I've learned on my [social skills site](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com) if you're curious.) I was diagnosed back in California, so unfortunately I can't direct you towards a psychologist, but I wanted to make myself available if you wanted to talk with a fellow Aspie. There are also a lot of Austin-area Aspie meetups if that's your thing :) \n\nThe important thing to know is that you are not alone, and that getting the diagnosis is a great first step towards a lot of growth and improvement. Good luck! ", "comment": "Saturday: \n\n* Went to the pub quiz.\n* Was told by a woman who had Aspergers that I almost certainly have Aspergers.\n\nMonday:\n\n* Researched Aspergers and found a strong correlation not only with the official diagnosis, but with many of the \"side effects\" (not being able to hear people in a crowd, preferring pressure on me while I sleep, enjoying metallic taste, and the big one - I shake my leg.  Uncontrollably.  Mom has - for YEARS growing up, told me to train myself to stop doing that.  I'm 33.  I still do it.  Others physical quirks: I twiddle my fingers, tap on my desk, etc.  \n\nTuesday: \n\n* Told my co-worker, a friend who I have worked with since 2006 my suspicions that I had Aspergers.  \n* He replied: \"Have people been telling you this for a while?\" \n* My reply: \"No, last Saturday was the first I heard about it.\"\n* His reply: \"Oh.  'Cause... we've been telling each other that we thought you probably had Aspergers for years.\" \n* My thought process: \"That makes sense.  As telling someone that they have an Autism spectrum disorder might be considered rude, they refrained from doing so, while still noticing the pattern.  However, I learned about it from a person with Aspergers who would A) Not necessarily be aware of the effect of the news, B) Be aware that I would approach the suggestion intellectually and not emotionally.  Hunh.  I'm always the last to know.  Same thing happened when I came out as bisexual.\" \n* My thought process was not: \"Dammit, why didn't you tell me!?\" \n* I went home and read *Look Me In The Eye: My Life with Aspergers* from cover to cover, in one sitting.  I identified strongly with the author. \n\nWednesday: \n\n* Asked Reddit for advice on where to find a diagnosis in the Austin, Texas area. ", "post_id": "zelln", "comment_id": "c63xheb"}, {"question": "I do this too! My guess is that, since you recently recognized this habit, you\u2019ll be able to gradually shift toward being more curious about the experience of others as you keep it in mind. But there\u2019s arguably nothing inherently wrong with the tendency you describe, so it\u2019s ok to embrace your natural instincts in conversation too. I\u2019m an introvert and sometimes find it less intrusive to share something about me, with openness and receptivity to the experience of others, rather than ask a lot of questions.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "eun6hp", "comment_id": "ffqalgp"}, {"question": "This is amazing! Congratulations! ", "comment": "I have severe inattentive type ADHD and I graduated from university this week with a degree in medicine, and I will start working as an intern in 2019! Reading about other people's journeys on this forum has been so motivating. Knowing there are other people facing the same hurdles, and learning about how people approach similar challenges in different ways has been so helpful. \n\nI wasn't diagnosed as a child, because I am inattentive and never bothered anyone. I was smart enough to learn all of my schoolwork at home (last minute) instead of learning at school, so no one was ever bothered that I didn't pay attention in class. But when I got to university, the amount of work got too much to cram. I couldn't keep up. And I especially couldn't keep up when doing clinical work in hospital. I felt like I would never be able to graduate. \n\nI failed a year at university before being diagnosed with ADHD and I have been working so hard ever since, trying to unlearn all of my avoidant behaviour, getting used to taking my medication and studying hard to catch up to everyone else. I still cram sometimes, I still procrastinate. But now I can listen to things I'm being taught, and I can motivate myself to study. \n\nMy relationships have improved significantly since starting treatment. I can also pay attention to hobbies and interests and exercise. Not all of the time, not everything at once. It's never easy. I am still working at being better and learning about my diagnosis every day.\n\nBut I'm just here to tell you: if I can become a doctor, you can do anything! It can be done. In your own way. At your own time. ", "post_id": "a5haam", "comment_id": "ebmlr9p"}, {"question": "It\u2019s about being in the world of your client and understanding how it feels for them. Be with them in the moment without trying to come up with a \u201cfix\u201d because it\u2019s not about you fixing anything for them. You are there to be one of the only people in their life who will listen without judgement and without treating them like they\u2019re fucked up.  \n\nTelling someone \u201chere\u2019s how you fix this/here\u2019s what you need to do\u201d is taking away their autonomy to find their own way. It also implies they aren\u2019t fucked up/dumb etc. and that you\u2019re some how smarter and this expert in their life. I can work with a client for a year and still not know everything about their life and inner workings. I can give a client 50 great pieces of advice on how to \u201cfix\u201d something they come in with, but they can sit there and shoot down everyone of them (that\u2019s not a fun session). I\u2019ve been there when clients push and push for advice and answers and I made the mistake of giving in. They shot down and had a reason why every idea I had wouldn\u2019t work. That taught me a lot. It\u2019s not about me giving them answers it\u2019s about me helping to empower them through empathy and validation. \n\nTo help yourself understand empathy, try to put yourself in their shoes. Think of how it would feel to share some really vulnerable things that maybe you don\u2019t tell anyone and hear that person who is supposed to help you, tell you how what you feel or what you think is wrong.  Would you want to open up again?  In your program they should have and I hope they did talk about the ways to phrase things so that you avoid coming off as judgmental when you do challenge the client (after you\u2019ve built rapport).  Also keep in mind challenging is not calling them out in a harsh way. It\u2019s more like \u201cI hear you say you don\u2019t care if you have friends and I hear you saying how hard it is to feel so lonely sitting by yourself at home so much. I wonder if you do really want friends and because of the negative experiences you\u2019ve had in the past finding those friends seems terrifying so you\u2019re trying to convince yourself you don\u2019t want them.\u201d \n\nYou\u2019ll get there, you just have to work on keeping the \u201ccommon sense\u201d reactions to yourself (even when you\u2019re faced with a client that seems like they could use a dose of it. Trust me there will be many times you find yourself thinking \u201comg if you would just stop doing x you would be fine\u201d but it\u2019s never that simple.  That\u2019s when you work harder to feel with the client and also get supervision. \n\n[great video about empathy vs sympathy ](https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw)", "comment": "I'll soon graduate. Using empathy as my instrument is something that scares me.\n\nHow do you guys master actually listening to the person and not invalidating their thoughts? How do you control yourself not to say \"but this is not so bad\" or \"your depressed thought doesn't make sense?\"  How not to use common sense, which I know doesn't help?\n\nI've watched therapy sessions and have a therapist of my own, so I've seen it happen, but I'm insecure about doing it myself.", "post_id": "g3z2d9", "comment_id": "fnupjga"}, {"question": "No idea - sorry!", "comment": "19 yr old female, lightweight drinker.\nSo this is completely out of the ordinary, and my chances of getting an answer are probably pretty slim, but...when I drink alcohol, sometimes the skin around my belly button begins to hurt. \nIt usually only happens when I drink ( it has happened other times but very seldom) but after a few drinks (maybe 3-4) the skin around my belly button starts to get really tense and feel almost like a hard bruise. There is no visible bump or raised skin, but on the inside, the skin gets really tight and tender. Can't really think of why this would be, any help would be appreciated on this peculiar matter! ", "post_id": "56f6ku", "comment_id": "d8kqope"}, {"question": "I wrote a [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) that you might find helpful :)", "comment": "So here' she thing, I've been talking to some girls on Tinder and things have been going good. I've been traveling a lot lately so meeting up isn't easy right now and I'm trying to keep things running until there is a possibility to meet up.\n\nThe thing is, the first bit on tinder isn't that hard for me and in this stage I was able to keep this girl engaged and we were just getting to know each other. We had a really fun conversation, so far so good!\n\nHowever, now comes the hard part. I've been talking to her on tinder for about two weeks and have finally acquired her number, but now the conversation seems to get stale. I don't really know what to talk about anymore and for the last two days we've had less contact and the conversation was more about mundane day to day stuff, not really that engaging or fun. She doesn't start the conversation anymore and i don't know how to start having a fun conversation again just like we had on Tinder. The basic intro's like 'how was your day' after not having talked to her for more than a day just feel like me being boring and not really moving the conversation forward.\n\nShe seems really interesting and I would really like to meet up with her but right I'm worried I'm losing her interest by being boring.", "post_id": "4dm2iv", "comment_id": "d1s8i9y"}, {"question": "If this is Kalcipos-D, it contains calcium and vitamin D. It's safe for you to take unless there's reason to think you have too much calcium. There's no reason to do so unless you also have reason to suspect true calcium or vitamin D deficiency, but those are common enough that some reasonably reputable sources seem to recommend it for everyone.\n\nAll of this is to say I have no strong opinions either way. It probably won't do anything important for you, but it won't hurt.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "as1o9v", "comment_id": "egr9oj5"}, {"question": "Sometimes people who believe they are God or have the spirit of God can take more risks than they normally would.  For instance I know a case where someone believed they were God and could fly, so they jumped off of a 1 story roof.  They are fine, but the point is if there is a delusion of thinking they can not or will not die if they engage in dangerous behaviors, they may be more likely to do so.   Based on what you described I feel that at this time he is not in danger of engaging in risk taking behavior but, it is something to be aware of.  \n\nEdit: don't ask if they feel like they are invincible, wait till it comes up if at all.  ", "comment": "He started behaving very strangely yesterday. Quoting holy text, then berating family members for not being religious enough. He claims that God is inside him and at the same time he's a slave of God. Claims such as everyone being hypocrites except his wife's Grandmother followed...among everything else.\n\nHe further believes he's on a mission of global peace and today he said he knew how to defeat the Antichrist. We're taking him to a doctor today, but I'd like to know if any of you ladies/gentlemen have seen cases like this before. Your advice would be greatly appreciated!\n\nEdit: Just wanted to point out that he doesn't exhibit any violent tendencies except raising his voice occasionally at people who disagree with his views. He also has sleep issues (sleeps from 10 pm to 1 am) and then starts praying and doesn't sleep for the rest of the day. He's been preaching at work too so his boss put him on a leave of absence.", "post_id": "2scp9q", "comment_id": "cnop0h4"}, {"question": "I'm a psychiatrist. What you describe doesn't sound like a normal response to escitalopram (lexapro). Please have your daughter see her psychiatrist promptly.", "comment": "I\u2019m so lost we have no family it\u2019s just my husband myself and our children so I have no one to help me through or offer advice.\nMy eldest daughter was put on lexapro for anxiety and depression she asked the doctor to change it as she had some big memory lapses as in taking things and not remembering she did it. \nShe sees a psychologist, however because of privacy I cannot be told anything, all I get is what my daughter tells me which is not much so I\u2019m going out of my mind.\nMy concerns are firstly I feel in my gut something is not ok with her.\nSince taking the ssris her moods have been odd, stays away from home every chance she gets. The memory issues as above. Lying, friendship problems this has always been on going. Tonight after no sleep last night because she was staying with a friend she was happy then irritable, non relational, cleaning out her draws , things that\u2019s out of normal for her. I was upset and she showed no emotion.\nShe mentioned she feels like she is going crazy.\nI know this I vague I\u2019m exhausted. I just can\u2019t put my finger on what\u2019s up with her. \nI\u2019m so scared this is bipolar, would her psychologist have pick up on this if she was?\nCan the ssris have an effect like this?", "post_id": "dvsfoc", "comment_id": "f7gjb5a"}, {"question": "You're overthinking. Successful relationships are all about loving someone enough that you accept the whole package. If you have a loving relationship and good health, NOTHING else matters until  babies come along", "comment": "Hello! \nI'll preface all of this by saying that I do have generalized anxiety disorder, and am VERY prone to overthinking/overanalyzing things and how people respond to me and others. I notice every facial expression, body language, everything! I'm very self-conscious about my own personality and often question whether people actually like me. I get annoyed with people easily and I'm quick to notice their negatives. I am in therapy and have been working on this for as long as I can remember.\n\nAnyway, I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and he's my best friend. He's incredibly thoughtful, responsible, hardworking, caring, handsome, and sexy. However, I've been noticing some things lately. First off, I'm 5'5 and he's 5'7 so we're pretty much the same height. Obviously if I had a huge issue with this I never would've started dating him in the first place. But I do worry about what OTHER people think of him. His friends give him crap all the time about being \"short\", plus I hear jokes about other \"short\" guys and it makes me really self-conscious about it what people think when they see us together. He's also confident in himself and will share stories about his experiences if their related to the conversation. I often worry that people think he's \"bragging\" or something like that, but again I'm also very self conscious about sharing my own experiences because I don't want to be that person either, so maybe it's my own insecurities coming out. He grew up really poor and never had the money to get his teeth fixed/cleaned regularly, so I'm also worried that people judge him for that too.\n\nI feel so terrible admitting all of that because he treats me SO well and accepts all of my flaws and imperfections, and encourages me to be myself and even prefers me without makeup in sweats with my hair up. \n\nHelp :/  \n\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "6tzxz6", "comment_id": "dloxolp"}, {"question": "Been there. It SUCKS. But it does get better, it takes time and distance. You may have to work with this person, but you can go out of your way to keep the contact to a minimum. Also, give yourself a break about those feelings. They're a completely natural response to human attraction. The feelings aren't the problem, it's what you do with them.", "comment": "Hi all, I know this question sometimes gets a bad rep, so please be kind; I'm reaching out for help. \nI started work recently at a new company (2 months ago), and have started developing feelings for someone who I work with. \nNow I've been in a relationship for 2 years now and I love my other half. He's great, there is nothing wrong with our relationship. \n\nHowever, I've started developing feeling for another guy. I didn't think this would ever happen, I have never cheated on anyone and wouldn't do that to someone as I know how much it hurts (my ex routinely cheated on me)\nI feel sick with guilt over liking another guy, and I feel this is impacting my current relationship. I don't even have this other guy's number or have him on social media, but I am ridden with guilt for even liking him. I get butterflies/ fast heart beat whenever he's around and it's ridiculous. I can clearly tell he likes me too which makes it even worse. \n\nMy question is, what do I do? Will this crush go away? What if it doesn't? I'm not a horrible person, I don't want to leave my boyfriend for someone else and I definitely wouldn't initiate something whilst in a relationship. I just want to be able to eat something because my guilt is making me want to vomit on the daily. ", "post_id": "71xtm5", "comment_id": "dne92n5"}, {"question": "It sounds like Schizophrenia could be a possibility, along with a few other mental illnesses.\n\nWhat does the aunt plan to do? M needs to see a doctor ASAP and get treatment before this causes any more problems or bad decisions. ", "comment": "**Background**:\n\nMy parents teach at a university in Tanzania. A year and a half ago, a student in our department (which is relatively small, around 30 students) started to become extremely paranoid. Visions, hearing voices, stuff like that. She came to us about it and we agreed to take her in.\n\nIf she was experiencing any of this before, she was really great at hiding it. She went from a mostly happy person to a paranoid and timid person. Not to say that she's never happy anymore, but she was a lot more cheerful back before this started.\n\nAnyways, back to the chain of events. She started keeping her phone off at all times and didn't want to let anyone see her except for us. She stayed in her room most of the time, although she was very helpful around the house. Shortly after she started staying with us, she graduated, and we agreed to let her continue to stay with us for a while longer. She continued to be very seclusive, although she has opened up a little now.\n\nA short while later she started leaving to go someplace (we don't know where, she described it to me recently as her \"safe place\") and she claimed to have started to receive messages from God. Some were relatively harmless, but others harmed her (not physically). For example, shortly after graduating, she got a wonderful job opportunity, and we went through all this work helping her quit her old job. Soon after, though, she got a \"message\" telling her to NOT take the job, and so she immediately turned it down.\n\nThat was queer, but the queerest thing that happened was a few months ago (around Easter IIRC), when she suddenly decided to change her name. It was quite surprising to us. She absolutely refuses to answer to her old name at all, except for people who hadn't yet been notified of the change (who she immediately notified). There wasn't really that much of a personality change that came with the name change, however; it seems that it was just her name that changed.\n\nAnyways, currently she is living with us, going by her new name only, still pretty timid, still disappearing every afternoon. She is a little more open now, going places with us occasionally, etc, and she seems to generally act okay most of the time - by just talking to her you wouldn't think anything's wrong with her. In terms of relatives, her father is dead, her mother is, I'm told, mentally ill, and she was raised and cared for by her aunt as a child. She is 32 years old.\n\n**The situation:**\n\n(to avoid confusion I will henceforth refer to our friend as \"M\")\n\nM's aunt somehow got wind of M's suspected illness - either through a concerned ex-roommate of M's, or simply figuring it out herself with M's phone being off and such. She told us that she would come to pick M up and take her (home I guess). We think that something does need to happen before M makes to many bad decisions, and this \"intervention\" may be the right thing. We managed to avoid confrontation tonight due to some campus rule about not being allowed to take people from campus in the evening or something, and we're supposed to take M to a safe location (local police station) to \"transfer\" M to her aunt in the morning.\n\nKeep in mind that M, at this point in time, doesn't know anything. Apparently the last time her aunt came, her hands started to shake uncontrollably. I didn't know about this previous visit until a few minutes ago, so if more information is needed in this respect I'll ask.\n\nNow, she trusts us (I'm pretty sure), but she might become uneasy about being suddenly asked to come with us in the car. We do NOT want to do a \"trick\" or lie to get her to the station, but we're unsure how to go about this another way.\n\n**Please:**\n\n* Are we doing the right thing?\n\n* If so, are there any suggestions on how to get M to come? Do we tell her what's happening right away and hope she doesn't resist? Tricks/lies are not an option, that's just wrong.\n\n* If not, what should we do? Some sort of \"intervention\" does need to happen before the situation gets out of hand. The name change and turning down the great job opportunity may just be the start.\n\n* Does this sound like schizophrenia or something else?\n\nI'm posting this at 10:30PM local time, at around 7-7:30 AM tomorrow morning a decision has to have been made. We just really want more opinions on what needs to happen, as tonight my father already consulted with many people, including the head of the campus guards, the provost, and another teacher.", "post_id": "2b8d2i", "comment_id": "cj2sr88"}, {"question": "I always get a kick out of percentages. No idea where they get their numbers from. Nobody knows the actual percentages", "comment": "If so, I'm certainly glad to be part of the 5%!", "post_id": "d8uy9h", "comment_id": "f1d5eh5"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "To reference:\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/75stgd/i26m_found_my_fiance25f_cheating_2_months_ago/\n\nI split her her that evening. We share a house so its taking some time to get everything together. More than a few times I've considering trying to mend it and say we can work it out. She went into a drunken stupor the same night and downed all the drink she could find while writing (in a journal I found the day after) some things that alluding to her earlier threat and begging for forgiveness. Im torn up about the whole thing tbh. Part of me really wants things to go back to normal and say everything is okay (on the condition of therapy/changes) while the other half of my brain brings up all the negatives about it, my dislikes about her (I feel my brain is using this an opportunity to cover the usual couples spats and exacerbate them). \n\nI would almost attempt another go but every time I think of a \"plan\" such as making her pay for the wedding herself, change the payment arrangement for living costs (We had split it 75/25 as I earn a lot more), or that I keep tabs on her a lot. It seems far too petty and as if Im clutching at straws trying to find some excuse to hold on. If any of that was to happen I would lose who I am as a person and become, at least in my mind, detestable. \n\nPart of the guilt Im holding onto is telling our extended families. Im sure they have invested a lot into the last few months planning both emotionally and financially . But I know this is petty in the overall scheme of things.\n\nThe strangest thing is I find great moments of peace/solace in both thoughts. Right now Im glad its done with and we can move on with our lives. While then thinking if I give her that chance after this break I can be myself again. Out of all previous relationships I have had both professionally and romantically she is the only one I could really open up to and feel peace. Its a major headfuck.\n\nThanks to everyone to their advice and its on me for lack of replies I just wasnt in a mindframe to talk at that time and right now I dont know anymore.\n\ntl'dr I broke it off, still need to cancel the wedding and Im too conflicted really", "post_id": "76dp84", "comment_id": "dod5w5i"}, {"question": "I don\u2019t have Tourette\u2019s but I do have OCD and ADHD. My therapist has talked about how the symptoms tend to compound on top of each other and also impact the same areas of the brain.\n\nI have Pure O OCD so it tends to interact quite a bit with my ADHD. ", "comment": "Anyone else here struggle with symptoms of all 3? My therapist said they're like a pyramid and all connected. I had many facial and vocal tics as a child, fortunately most of them went away with medication. I never looked in to any of the struggles i had growing up. Extremely poor executive function, failure to do my work in time and procrastinating, anger when rules weren't followed in a game, periods of increased irritability (irrational). Intrusive thoughts. Inability to focus in class. The list goes on. (All of these still affecting me). I am worried I'll lose my job as a software engineer because my weekly update has had nothing on it or is a repeated update from previous weeks. I seeked a therapist who said I have all three: ADHD, OCD, and Tourettes. I started on low dose Adderall, and am building up on Lamotrigine. Does anyone else have all 3? I get really frustrated because it seems so many have some sort of combination but I want to relate experiences with someone with all 3. Im 23 years old and am just overwhelmed getting the news that all the struggles I had growing up were not actually normal.", "post_id": "7c1aar", "comment_id": "dpnbii2"}, {"question": "I had high cortisol levels too... probably just from being in med school. I stopped working out and they completely normalized after that. I don\u2019t think my body is meant to do high-intensity workouts... these days all I do is walk and hike and it\u2019s enough for me :)\nOther things you can do include therapy if you think it could improve how you cope with daily stressors, getting enough sleep, and not skipping meals, all of which also elevate cortisol. ", "comment": "Do any of you have elevated cortisol levels along with PCOS? I was recently diagnosed with pseudo Cushing's (cortisol levels were elevated but not majorly so). I was on prednisone for a stretch of time last summer and went through a host of blood work over the past month. My AM cortisol, 24 hr urine cortisol, and dexamethasone suppression cortisol tests all came back slightly high. My endocrinologist thinks it might be related to PCOS and/or being on birth control, but the only thing she suggested was to try and lose weight and we'll repeat labs in a few months. How are you treating/managing your high cortisol levels? ", "post_id": "7dhaz3", "comment_id": "dpy1vrq"}, {"question": "giver her  space for a day or two. she'll come around.", "comment": "Yesterday, my girlfriend had texted me about something that she found out. When we first started dating, she had told me some gossip and asked me not to tell. After some time I let it slip to a friend of mine. I don't remember when I said it, but I know I did. \n\nSix months into our relationship (Yesterday), she found out I told and was angry that I told my friend. She got very upset, citing how the trust was broken, how I was stupid for telling him, and that she couldn't believe it. \n\nAfter some time and thought, I apologized for what I had done. I apologized for betraying her trust and citing the ways in which I did that. This morning I received messages stating the relationship was over, that she didn't know me, that I was a terrible person, and that she didn't want anything to do with me.\n\nWe have a history of fights that end in breakups, but this time she said she was done for good. \n\nI know I messed up, and explained what I did was wrong. I explained why it was wrong, and what I was going to do to fix it.\nShe was very upset by me breaking her trust. I have really hurt her by telling my friend.\n\nMy question is, Is there anything I can do?? \n\ntldr: Fight with girlfriend. I told a friend about something that she didn't want me telling anyone. I know I messed up. Girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with me. What can I do??\n\nEDIT: By saying after some time, I apologized two hours after our initial conversation. I understand I was wrong. Our arguments play out with her yelling and screaming, and I listen to what she has to say. I only ever want to understand what she is saying and where she is coming from.", "post_id": "6bigcc", "comment_id": "dhmu7l9"}, {"question": "Everybody\u2019s different, so it\u2019s hard to say. I can only speak for myself. I don\u2019t smoke weed at all and never was really into it, and I am definitely an alcoholic. However, if I were to use another drug or substance, I would probably be doing it to get out of myself and feel better or get some relief. It would only be a matter of time before I started drinking again because alcohol is the only thing that gives me the relief I am looking for.  Now, if he is prescribed it and is using for some sort of pain management due to a condition or disease, that\u2019s a different story. Still need to be careful obviously, but the motive for doing it would be different than to get high.", "comment": "My brother recently finished a 45 day program at a rehab center and really seems to be turning his life around. He reported to me that his senses of taste, smell and feeling is coming back. His skin looks incredibly healthier, he stopped eating fast food as much. Recently though he started his marijuana use again and I know at all rehab centers that\u2019s grounds for readmission. He does have a marijuana card but I know that the rehab centers still would readmit for a positive THC test. \n\nMy question is, if he started marijuana again should I expect a relapse soon?", "post_id": "bzavcf", "comment_id": "eqs476c"}, {"question": "Your doctor is giving you options that make sense maybe without enough explanation.\n\n50 mg sertraline is a reasonable starting dose. You could also start at 25 mg, but that's usually too low a dose to be effective and 50 mg usually has no or only mild side effects that go away after a few days. It's usually fine to stop mirtazapine, but going down for a few days and then stopping would be extra cautious. You could also take both medications together safely at higher doses of both than you're currently on.\n\nOne oddity of mirtazapine is that sedation and weight gain are more significant at lower doses than higher doses. Switching to sertraline makes sense, but it also can sometimes be counter-intuitively more tolerable when you take more.", "comment": "23 years old, male, 5'9, 177lbs, white, on-going depression/anxiety for the last 2-3 years.\n\n​\n\nFor the time that I have had my depression and anxiety issues I have tried to stay away from the medication route, as I would've preferred to pursue alternative treatments before taking medication. For the past 14 months I have had CBT to try and resolve any underlying issues, however, around 6-8 weeks ago my mental health became very difficult to manage.  I booked myself a doctors appointment and was willing to try medication for the first time to help me. The doctor prescribed me 15mg of Mirtazapine, not only to help with my depression and anxiety, but to help with my insomnia too.\n\n​\n\nThe Mirtazapine helped enormously with my insomnia, and within 1-2 weeks it had really improved my depression and anxiety, which was very relieving! As time went on, the effects became a lot less noticable, and although it had improved my sleeping pattern, I began to feel more and more tired throughout the day, despite having 8-10+hour sleeps. In addition, (although I realised my weight/appetite would increase) I gained 15-20lbs in the 6-8 week period. Whilst taking the medication, my eating habits were very well in-control and I had increased the amount of exercise I was doing, and yet I was still gaining weight faster than I have ever done before.\n\n​\n\nBecause this is the first form of medication I have taken for mental health, I thought I would make a doctors appointment to see if there were any alternatives that wouldn't drastically increase my weight and wouldn't knock me out as much as Mirtazapine did.\n\n​\n\nThe doctor prescribed me 50mg of Sertraline. I was told that if I wanted to, I could stop the Mirtazapine straight away  without having to taper down and I could start the Sertraline straight away too. And/or I could use the Mirtazapine in 7.5mg doses to help possible insomnia that may be brought on by the Sertraline. As well, the doctor said that if the side effects of the Sertraline are a little too much to begin with, I can reduce the dose to 25mg per day.\n\n​\n\nI'm a little concerned, because everything I've read says you should taper down to avoid any possible withdrawal symptoms. The doctor seemed very relaxed about when to start/stop taking medications, and also the doses in which I should be taking these medications.\n\n​\n\nUltimately, my questions are: Would it be ok for me to stop taking the Mirtazapine straight away and start with Sertraline? Are there any issues with taking Setraline and Mirtazapine together? If there's the potential for the Sertraline side effects to be too much at 50mg, would it be more sensible to start at 25mg and increase after a period of time?\n\n​\n\nThank you!", "post_id": "cx37da", "comment_id": "eyiv6fh"}, {"question": "Re therapy,  a sex offender program is most appropriate.  There are groups especially designed to do this work .\n\nRe chances of changing - I want to make the distinction between sex offender and pedophile. Not all pedophiles offend , and not all people who do what he did are pedophiles. Of course , some people are both. I can't say because I did not treat him and I really don't know what happened or what was behind it.  There are multiple factors used to estimate risk of  recidivism. (There are some actuarial risk assessments you can find online,  but they require knowledge about the offense and offender).\n\n\nI'm curious as to how you would know if he had remorse or empathy.  Were you treating him in some capacity?", "comment": "My former friend, whom I\u2019ll call Amy, has a young relative who was caught in a sex offense. \u201cBrad\u201d was a teen, when he took two young boys into the woods for sex. (I believe they were 9 or 10 yo, and he was 16 or 17.) I thought that he was probably a predatory sex offender and that his skill at luring the boys indicated that this was something he\u2019d done before. \n\nBrad slipped through the justice system cracks and got no treatment. When I spoke with him later, he showed no remorse and no empathy for his victims. He was also seeking work with children. \n\nFast forward: He is now married, has a good career, and has had some kind of therapy. I am wondering what the chances are of a sex offender changing as an adult? Also, what kind of therapy is effective? What kind would not be effective?", "post_id": "fc05m8", "comment_id": "fj8p46w"}, {"question": "He is having an emotional affair, at minimum.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "cmp4y7", "comment_id": "ew4mvd6"}, {"question": "she's contradicting herself. i would keep other opportunities open as she's mixed up", "comment": "Me and this girl have been seeing each other an our sex life and problems are being voiced to her friends, and her friends are telling her to ask me for space in which I am, I've only texted her once to tell her hope she had a good day no response, I came on a bit strong as we've only been seeing 2 months and told her I was terrified of losing her. I ignored her last message which seemed like a cry for help, but i was at work and got off around 3am so didnt feel the need to respond. She wants space, but also said she doesnt wanna stop talking, she really likes me and cares about me ( both of those were texts out of the blue) and she said shes not breaking it off she just needs space. I just need advice on how to proceed, I like this girl within the first two weeks ive met her parents which according to her took a shine to me.", "post_id": "6barhw", "comment_id": "dhl30gh"}, {"question": "Finding fault with people precedes rejecting them. To stop being lonely stop finding fault with them and stop rejecting them. Cultivate kindness and consideration and look for others discomfort and make some attempt to relieve it. Compassion and kindness opposes fault finding and accepts that each person has intrinsic worth. Your intrinsic worth is your potential for good. This potential can be encouraged and supported. See others potential for good and help them realize it. Then you will never be lonely.", "comment": "You can punch me for that title... Okay, it's not that I *hate dealing with people*, but as most introverts will tell you, it can be extremely draining at the best of times.\n\nI've caught myself going around in a loop, particularly with this one friend of mine. I'll be sitting in my sad corner, going 'boo hoo, why does no one care about me', etc... Then through events outwith my control, fate steers me back into contact with one of the few people who can actually understand me. \n\nWhat do I do with that pot of luck? I take a deep breath and sigh, wishing they hadn't bothered. Damned if they do and damned if they don't, right? \n\nI'm never one to reach out to my friends, because let's face it, they don't *really* wanna see me (I'm not an, err... interesting person). When one person in our group does take the initiative and invites me out, it brings all of these pressures and expectations, doubts and conspiracies... Making me count the seconds until I can finally be alone and comfortable again.\n\nBelieve it or not, I do want friends. Not the 'duuude I'm so waaasted' kind, I'd prefer someone who I can actually open up to. As a guy in the middle of guytown, that's clearly not going to happen anytime soon.\n\nI'm not really hoping for some win-all cure-all here, because I know the problem is in my head. I just wanted to know if there's anyone else out there, who has a hard time forcing themselves into friendship circles they don't feel like they belong in, because they have no other options.\n\nI may have just described how every human being on the planet has felt at one point or another, but it was worth a shot.\n\n**TL;DR: Is it normal to pity yourself for not making friends, have *air-quote* friends drop out of the sky onto you, shake them off and start complaining about still being alone? No, just me? :(**", "post_id": "4oqcah", "comment_id": "d4fdqyj"}, {"question": "I have a feeling psychotherapy would have a limited effect. I would focus more on A) being kind to yourself, B) pacing youself, and C) getting creative to find ways to do more than one thing. Maybe you need a nap every day. Maybe you can\u2019t do a second task that requires concentration, but you can do something mindless/repetitive that is still useful.  Maybe certain tasks are easier to do with a sharp mind, and others don\u2019t require it so much.  \n\nLike, I could never read a book in the afternoon, but I could noodle around on my guitar for hours.  \n\nOr, I bathe at night, because I don\u2019t need energy or focus to do it. If I did it in the morning, it would take up energy I need for something else.  \n\nI also choose low stress activity when possible.  Like I take a bath instead of a shower because it literally saves energy if I don\u2019t have to stand up.", "comment": "Most people can do multiple things a day like having a job, having hobbies and doing sports, but i can't. I work 11 hours a week and i try to finish school and i want to make music and do sports, but that doesn't work for me. When i work for 5 hours in the morning i can't do anything else in the afternoon. On the days i study i can't make music or  go running, because i can only focus on one area of my life. I can't even do normal chores on days where i have something else to do and it seems impossible to have a life because of it.\n\nDo you know if this is a problem due to asperger's syndrom and if autism-therapy could help with that?", "post_id": "i7aijs", "comment_id": "g1223pz"}, {"question": "you're choosing to capitulate", "comment": "My relationship with her has been on a decline lately. We are arguing for half of the day every day and more often as we continue to be together. \n\nWe used to stay up until each disagreement was resolved so we didn't go to bed angry, however I started realizing I am the only one who apologizes every time. I have since pointed this out, how I feel like I'm the only one apologizing and she always makes it seem like I'm the guilty one... to which she responds by telling me it's because I never try to fix things and I never listen to her.\n\n (As an example, last night I told her where I was and said I wouldn't get home until 9:45, she gets home at 9:35 and was absolutely infuriated over the fact that my time at the gym with my roommate cut into her time with me by ten minutes and when i got home, told me \"if you don't apologize to me right now Then I will leave you so fast\" to which I responded by telling her I didn't think I was in the wrong. We are still currently arguing and despite apologizing this morning, she hasn't said a productive word to me so far.)\n\nI try to tell her that a relationship involves two people, that it isn't a blame game, and that we need to work together on the issues we have with each other. I've mentioned sometimes both of us have to suck it up and apologize to each other for things in order for us to truly fix it. She responds again by telling me I'm wrong and I never listen to her.\n\nI've been called a piece of shit, a dick, a douche bag, a liar, lazy, unappreciative, an idiot, any of the above with an added profanity, and so much more that could fill up a page and I've never called her anything but a dufus (which is just a cute inside joke we've had for six months). \n\nI believe myself to be an upstanding male with good intentions, a decent job and a full time student studying my passion. I don't believe the arguments and name-calling are necessary and it upsets me every time. \n\nWhat should I do or say to fix what is broken? Am I wrong for wanting to be with her? Is it immature for me to be feeling this way? Help!?", "post_id": "6boryr", "comment_id": "dhog1q6"}, {"question": "Seven years of psychology?!? Have you seen a psychiatrist, and have you had formal diagnoses of mental health disorders?", "comment": "I am in the process of finding a new psychologist. A while back, I finally found the perfect fit for me. Unfortunately, after weekly sessions for nearly seven years, she had unexpected and sudden health issues that forced her to retire immediately. I am really struggling with this as she has helped me through many things. It is scary to think where I might be now if not for her.\n\nI could write a book here, but for now let's try to chip away at some issues that tend to make me shut down...\n\nFirst off, luckily I do well as far as work goes. I work three doubles per week and have four days off. I never miss work and am effective while there. Co-workers, customers and managers all love me.\n\nOn my days off I usually do pretty much nothing. I like to sleep a lot. At the end of the day I tend to feel guilty that I wasted yet another day. I also moved to a tropical island a few years ago, so there is really no excuse to remain indoors all day. \n\nIn no specific order, here are some things I want to work through so I can lessen the stress and anxiety I feel.\n\n1 I have a ton of clutter in my living space. I have a difficult time throwing things away. I am not quite a hoarder yet, but I am definitely needing to address this issue. I do not know even where to begin with everything. Maybe I take an hour a day? Do I start by sorting everything then then go from there? A lot of stuff is from past jobs, Some stuff may or may not be sentimental. I have random electronic stuff that may or may not be useful at some point. \n\n2 Similar to the physical stuff are both computer files and emails. I have tons of them. I know step one is to unsubscribe from mailing lists I no longer find beneficial so I can stop the bleeding. I recently opened a new email account again that does not get spam. I really should go through each old account and forward important emails while deleting ones I no longer need. I probably have around 100,000 emails. Some I can search by key word and delete groups at a time without reading, but others I will want to be more thorough. \n\nFor files, I am considering just saving all important files to a gmail account.\n\nFor emails, files, and physical clutter, I really need to find out deep down what makes something important enough to keep.\n\n3 I go in phases with projects. Movies are one example. When I watch movies, I have to have a system in place. I feel I cannot just watch something for fun. First off, I usually choose a series, or actor, or director. While watching movies I feel the need to rate and review it. Even if I post my results, people do not really read it. Sometimes on Facebook someone may \"like\" my post, but more than likely they are just liking that I watched the movie and not really reading what I wrote. I enjoy watching movies but writing reviews can be draining. For rating a movie, I sometimes spend too much time on it as well. I mean, why does it even matter what I rate or write in a review? Why can't I just watch something to enjoy it and leave it at that? Some websites take ratings to suggest new movies to watch, and I really like that feature a lot. However, once I spend time on my movie project, I eventually get burned out and move on to a different project.\n\nFor movies, I download them. Originally I downloaded in 1080p format. However, I later decided to upgrade to remux for perfect quality. As with many projects, once I do it, I go all in. So, I already had 1000s of movies in 1080p. So, it is overwhelming again, individually replacing each film with the remux version.\n\nMusic is similar. I feel I should review/rate but it is more complicated because do I rate based on band? album? song? Also, do I include rare albums/songs? Songs available on only soundtracks? It hurts my heard just thinking about it.\n\n4 I enjoy eating out. I recently choose themes for food and then eat out at all places in the area that may have good food, then I take pictures, rate and review them on Yelp. I am extremely thorough. This can be fun. Sometimes expensive. Again, I feel the need to make something fun into a project though.\n\n5 I have been exploring the island and making an extensive list of places to check out. I compiled information from books and websites and from people I know into a list. While fun, this is also overwhelming at times.\n\nFor fun other hobbies I have include fantasy football, karaoke, video games, piano, snorkeling.\n\nOne of the most important things I need to realize is it is not humanly possible to \"complete\" any one of these projects to the level I want to, much less all of them. With this being said, I do not know where to go from here. Doing things in moderation is challenging for me. For now, I am assuming it is best to set aside a reasonable amount of time every week for some hobbies, as well as for organizing my living space. Currently, it would be embarrassing to have visitors over due to the mess. Other projects like files and emails are also important but is not as visible to others so they can take a lower priority.\n\nI am definitely not happy with my life right now. Also, going through my clutter and papers and stuff will remind me of some things in my past that are serious mistakes I made, disappointments I faced, and other emotions and feelings I do not want to experience. Same with emails and files. There will be things I do not want to think about. \n\nThe only things I have been officially diagnosed with are generalized anxiety ongoing and mild depression at times. One person diagnosed me with Asperger's but other experts disagreed with that diagnosis and stated they felt those symptoms were more likely due to the difficult upbringing I experienced where there were no social skills and so on. I am assuming perhaps I have OCD due to how I create these projects or is it something else? I also have had addictions to things (gambling, sex). \n\nFor anyone who took the time to read all of this, thank you so much. Any insight will help to reduce my anxiety while attempting to piece together a plan to get my life on track. \n\nI know life is too short and we are provided with only so many hours in a day. So, I need to do better with deciding what to keep in my life and what to let go of. I have never been good at letting go of anything. \n\nOn one positive note, for a few months now, I have forced myself one day per week to get together with a co-worker to explore the island and to eat out at a new place. Even on days I do not want to do anything but sleep, I am almost always glad afterwards that we did go do some stuff. That also helps to keep me from getting into too deep of a rut.", "post_id": "579814", "comment_id": "d8qm6q9"}, {"question": "Yes. Otherwise they will reach inaccurate conclusions based off of your performance. ", "comment": "I finally finally took my attention test. It was hitting the space bar on a keyboard every time I saw a letter on the screen and the second half was hitting space bar when I heard sounds in a certain order.\n\nThe letter test I'm pretty sure I bombed, but stayed awake the entire time. When I got to the sound part though I started off well but the longer it went on the worse I got and kept nodding off. I wasn't sleep deprived today though.\n\nIf I tell my psychiatrist I fell asleep will they make me pay for another test or is this common doing something this boring? I guess I should also mention the test was for possible ADHD and I'll go over my results at my follow up on the 6th.", "post_id": "4gj96c", "comment_id": "d2iipx7"}, {"question": "The addict is most likely correct, the drugs are a symptom not the problem. Self medicating is more the issue ", "comment": "I remember reading the title of this post one day and laughed thinking that it only applied to alcoholics etc. Today I'm quitting, I applied this quote to my own life and realized the dependency I had on bud and how it was potentially effecting my life. With a relationship lost in part due to pot I'm deciding enough is enough. I've quit before, but never for more than half a year or so. This time I mean to leave it behind me for good, if not for anything else than it now bores me. When you're high it's hard to really focus on doing anything for an extended amount of time and when you're sober all you want is to get high. \n\nIt's a shame really because I think pot has genuine positive effects to it, however I realize that in and for whatever reason my brain chemistry is affected to the point of almost a non sequitur. Meaning when pot is available to smoke, I'm gonna smoke it. I don't have the self control to take extended breaks or not use it when it's available so I need to leave it behind all or nothing. Wish me luck. \n\nSorry for the messiness this is my first post here. ", "post_id": "63f34e", "comment_id": "dftnw9s"}, {"question": "Can someone link to the original post please?", "comment": "Hey guys, a couple of weeks ago I posted [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/xmz2n/my_mom_wants_me_to_take_a_supposedly/) question. Basically, my mom watched the autism special on *The Nature of Things* and got it into her head that Acidophilus would cure my Aspergers.\n\nSo, I basically told her that I wasn't comfortable with taking it, that there is no way to cure autism, no matter what fucking David Suzuki says, and that I find it incredibly insulting that she would try to force this on me without even asking me my opinion or even doing any actual research. She has, for the time being, reluctantly backed down; I think she's still stuck on on the whole \"it was in a documentary, so it must be true\" mentality.\n\nShe hasn't dropped the issue altogether though. She's changed her tone a bit; now she says she just wants me to take it to help with some of my \"digestive issues\" which I've never had in my entire life...good thinking, mom. She'll bring it up from time to time (eg. *While watching an Activia commercial* Mom: Look, barrageobad, that yogurt has probiotics in it, which is exactly what Acidophilus is! Me: Yeah Mom, what a coincidence...)\n\nI don't want it to sound like my mom is some kind of monster, because I know that she loves me and just wants what's best for me. Critical thinking has just never been one of her strengths, to say the least. Reading through your guys' comments on the last thread made me feel kind of guilty, because I love her and I feel like I'm setting her up as a pig for slaughter. Some of the things she does may be kind of stupid, but her heart is definitely in the right place. Trust me.\n\nThank you all for your support and advice. This is probably my favorite subreddit and it's so refreshing to be able to discuss issues like this with people who truly understand what I go through every day. And I'm sorry for the late update! I'm not good at responding to things promptly. Many of you will understand.\n\n(P.S. In case any of you are wondering and it's important to your opinions, I'm 19 years old, but I live with my parents for financial reasons while I'm going to school.)\n\n**TL;DR I fucking hate David Suzuki, but I love my mom**\n\nEdit: I guess it would help if I linked to the original thread", "post_id": "yb5n1", "comment_id": "c5u2n2m"}, {"question": "The Good: I'm on Day 65 and feeling mighty proud of it.  The weather here has finally dropped below the 100s.  I've got an exercise class tonight that I'm looking forward to.\n\nThe Bad: I've had a pretty draining past couple of days.  I'm hoping today is a bit more relaxed.\n\nThe Future:  I am going to treat myself to something on Day 75!  Not sure what yet, perhaps a new dress.  :)", "comment": "It\u2019s that day again. Guess what day it is? Happy Hump Day, everybody! What's Up Wednesdays are when we sobernauts celebrate the sober life, see how our SD family is doing, and support each other. Share your good, your bad, and your ugly (or your pretty, or your future, or whatever else is on your mind) with us below!\n\n-----------------------------------------\n\n**The Good:** I have always been in such dread of the impending winter gloom that I have never fully appreciated autumn. This year, for some reason, I am loving it. Perhaps seeing the leaves turn so beautifully in the Adirondack Mountains has finally made me appreciate the loveliness of fall. \n\n**The Bad:** I\u2019m working so hard at various editorial projects that I haven\u2019t really had any time to relax. (When you\u2019re a freelancer, it\u2019s only ever feast or famine.)\n\n**The Funny:** [This is how I feel on some days.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d8m333/hopelessness/)", "post_id": "dc4fub", "comment_id": "f270z5r"}, {"question": "guess you're not ready to settle down!", "comment": "The girl I'm with is a beautiful Estonian Russian girl who's fierce and fun but I am graduating university whereas she's starting and I could change my life to stay near but I'm always tempted by the exciting life I used to lead. Do I stick with it or give up on dating till I'm older?", "post_id": "6cg4b8", "comment_id": "dhue50b"}, {"question": "I'm not a doctor, but I had issues with my eyelid twitching before.  Drink tonic water, it has quinine in it, and it helps reduce muscle spasms.  I know it sounds crazy, but it worked really well for me.  As for dry eye, I've always had it really bad in my left eye but not my right.  I use \"Blink\" eyedrops when it acts up.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "7cvc4h", "comment_id": "dpvhmpz"}, {"question": "So impressed and amazed by you for having accomplished this on your own without social support. I really admire your strength. I'm sorry you aren't able to celebrate with everyone in your life, but I'm glad that we can give you some hard-earned applause here! You are incredibly strong and I hope you recognise that! ", "comment": "I stared a benzo taper 4 months ago. I was on 5 mg of xanax a day for three years. I realized I was taking them just to feel 'normal' and I was embarrassed that I let myself get to that point so I didn't tell anyone, not even my own husband. He and the rest of my friends and family believed I was only taking them every once in a while. I didn't have the courage to tell anyone what was going on so I went through my taper all by myself. When I finally got down to my last .25 mg every other day I stopped completely. It has been 30 days since my last little sliver of xanax and I honestly couldn't be more proud of myself. The withdrawals were pretty bad even with a taper. This is even the first time I have ever said (or typed) the words \"I am a benzo addict\", it feels good to get it out..to someone...anyone even if it is strangers on reddit.\n\n*Edit* Though I am up with the lingering insomnia that happens when you stop benzos, I couldn't be any happier because of your kind words. I wrote this earlier as a way to simply get it off my chest and the support you guys have shown me is incredible. Thank you so much. In tears.", "post_id": "5f0jex", "comment_id": "dagp41y"}, {"question": "It gives me hope to hear you're doing better. Sometimes I feel likeim stuck in this cycle and there is no escape. Thanks for the reminder. It will get better, it's always darkest before the dawn. ", "comment": "So after a really really bad depressive episode the past few weeks, I think I'm finally on the upswing. It helps that it has finally stopped raining and the sun is shining, also! \n\nJust a reminder that it will get better. I know, so cliche. But if you look at my posting history for the past few weeks, you can see how desperate and awful I was feeling. But I'm feeling a bit better now...it may not last a long time, but just remember that these days are possible.\n\nThinking of all of you in dark places today. This is the most supportive and kind subreddit I've found and all of you are important and in my thoughts today :)", "post_id": "1nnviv", "comment_id": "cckc7qv"}, {"question": "A few things to consider here.  \n\n* If you're \"starving for female attention\" this is both a cause and effect of the problem.  The more you're \"starving\" the more you'll be projecting desperation, and no matter how good of a job you try to do at covering this up, people will sense it and for women especially, it will be a huge turn off.  So yeah, much like what kodechamp said, you have to find ways to be happy and enjoy your life with or without female attention.  It may sound counterintuitive, but once you don't care whether you have it or not genuinely, it'll be a lot easier to get.  This is probably why your friends who are already in relationships get more attention.  They're in relationships so they could care less whether they get the attention or not, so they don't project desperation.  \n\n* Most people find it easier to have friends of the same gender due to a higher likelihood of sharing gender stereotypical interests and the absence of one party becoming romantically interested (barring differences in sexual orientation of course).  The more friends you have, the more that shows the world that you're a person worth spending time with and that you \"can't be a total creep\".  You're right, the downside of this is if you are with a group of guys and you meet a group of girls, there's a good chance they'll be interested in one of your friends instead of you.  I don't mean to be harsh in saying this but my guess is those girls probably wouldn't have been interested in you in the absence of your friends.  The competition aspect is most likely in your head.  \n\n* It may be painful to feel so lonely as you watch your friends get what you want and don't have but it's also a chance for you to learn from them through observation.  How do they act differently from you that makes them more socially successful?  Start trying to model yourself after them.  Modeling ourselves after people who are better than us at certain areas is pretty much how we learn anything successfully.    ", "comment": "This has been a thing with me for a while. I'm basically starving for female attention. I feel that whenever I'm with guys and there are girls around, the girls always ignore me. Getting ignored by girls makes me jealous and angry then eventually I start to dislike the guy till I no longer want to be around him.\n\nThis even happens with guys who are in relationships. For whatever reason they are more fun or charming than me and I end up ignored. The guys never seem to understand that I'm the single one and that I'm the one who should be getting most of the attention.\n\nIs there any way to fix this?", "post_id": "967vqe", "comment_id": "e3ymaos"}, {"question": "Keep in mind that websites like glassdoor are generally skewed to the negative.  Most folks that are happy with their jobs don't go on to websites like that to say how happy they are with their jobs.  Folks who are upset often use it as an outlet to vent so it may not be representative of any particular company.  \n\n\nI've been in this situation before and I have jumped from frying pan into the fire on one occasion.  If you know that you're not happy, you have to take the chance.  If you end up somewhere that's the same or worse, you just keep looking.  \n\n\nNo work environment is perfect.  No matter where you go there are always going to be some issues.  So long as you're not miserable where you are and that the good outweighs the bad the majority of the time, then you're good.  If you don't have that where you are, it's generally time to take a chance somewhere else.  ", "comment": "I am desperately trying to leave my position at a place where managers are not even in the same location as us (they \"manage\" us from a diff state) I work in the legal field and this is a support staff position. Although I stayed because I needed the money and thought I could put up with the cutthroat environment, I realized it was affecting me deeply and making me dread going to work especially Sunday nights. \n\nI have started looking and have an interview lined up which I am happy about but since I am so cautious now about the work culture, I read reviews etc on Glassdoor and see that so many companies are riddled with toxic people, favoritism, bureaucracy etc. \n\nI have begun to feel discouraged that I will not be able to find a \"happy professional Place\" to work at. Because when I came to this current position I left a pretty good position because this one offered a higher pay, I quickly realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I have been here 3.5 years now and things either stay the same or get worse. But now, I feel this job has psychologically messed me up where all I see now is gloom and doom which I know is not healthy but I have been so scarred here that it has distorted my outlook. \n\nHow do I work past this? I want to be happy again and find a great workplace but currently feel it may not exist? ", "post_id": "ao5kmu", "comment_id": "egdx3iu"}, {"question": "First, I would talk to your therapist about this, see what he says. But during the course of therapy, you will feel worse before you feel better, and your therapist should be reminding you of that every so often. Therapy is about feeling uncomfortable and moving in directions you haven't before. ", "comment": "I'm not sure if my therapist is making me face my issues and that's why my symptoms seem worse is because I'm addressing them headon, or if they're getting worse because he's treating them in an ineffective way.\nHow do I tell? What do I do?\nWhen I asked about second opinions, it sounded complicated and he said he'd prefer to choose the person if there was a second therapist in the room with us during a session. And I don't know if insurance would cover it.\nI can't tell if this is trust issues, or if I should trust my gut.", "post_id": "3gbzym", "comment_id": "ctwu3tm"}, {"question": "From what you write I don't think that girl was good for you anyway. She judged you by your wealth and hobbies. On the other side she made it clear in some way. I think you feel heartbroken because you were already thinking about a relationship with her.\n\nI can tell you what is NOT a next step - trying to analyze it over and over why you failed. Your feelings may make you to re-think it again and again, question yourself. Realise this connection (feelings->thoughts->feelings). Accept that things like that will happen again. That's working for me at least.\n\nSorry if my answer is a bit chaotic but I have a hard time today to think straight :)\n\nEdit: Spellcheck.", "comment": "I've been a part of this community for a while now and I decided it's my turn to see these lady benefits. \n\nShe told me it was because my quality of life isn't up to par. I don't have a car(I'm 19 and I'm debt free in university) and I wouldn't click well/show off to her friends(I'm also half a nerd). Since she's a party person and I'm working hard on a degree over here. \n\nI'm not gonna lie , I've never had a girlfriend. I've had crushes before and have been told no before but I really thought I could've made this one work so this is like my first legit heartbreak. \n\nIt's such a surreal feeling. I feel free to do whatever instead of chasing a woman but I also feel anchored because I failed. \n\nWhat's the next steps to getting over this? \n\nThis community is great which is why I'm asking for support, thanks. ", "post_id": "5watng", "comment_id": "de8qc7t"}, {"question": "if they are making stupid decisions, then you are enabling them by bailing them out. your fears are well founded. everything you earn will go to them unless you and your fiance are able to make firm decisions about saying NO.", "comment": "My [31/f] fianc\u00e9 [33/m] and his family have been through a lot in a recent years with family illness and resulting financial pressure that has been handled poorly.  And I mean very poorly. It is starting to drive me to my breaking point and I am terrified. \n\nThey are living way beyond their means and are not making smart financial decisions. As a result of this, they have had to borrow several thousand dollars from me. At first, I didn't mind helping out, but this has grown into a never ending nightmare. \n\nBetween us, my fianc\u00e9 and I bring in $100,000 (nj, usa) yet we are unable to save ANYTHING. Not to mention the credit card debt that is rising with planning a wedding and such.  We cannot even afford to live together as 100% of his income goes towards his family who he still lives with. \n\nMy fianc\u00e9 says if he was to cut them off completely they would be homeless. I understand helping family, but when do you draw the line if they are not even helping themselves. \n\nThe wedding is in 8 months and he is the absolute love of my life.. but this terrifies me. It's not fair..\n\nHow do I let him know that I am having second thoughts about marrying into this? ", "post_id": "5so6ju", "comment_id": "ddgjuwx"}, {"question": "It's always reasonable, and will allay doctors' fears, if you estimate how many you actually take and request a prescription for that.\n\nAs for what happened here, there's no way to know with certainty. One possibility is that this wasn't intended as a test, but the fact that you gave up also made the doctor not have concerns that you were misusing them and so he just decided to go ahead and refill them. It's an unpleasant dance we do with patients; often we dislike feeling skeptical of patients we want to trust, but we also hate feeling duped, and in the end our care really shouldn't be about our feelings at all.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9joor8", "comment_id": "e6t5euy"}, {"question": "There's nothing wrong with exercising and eating right as long as you're not underweight according to a doctor.", "comment": "Hey reddit. I'm a girl who's a former anorexic, and while I consider myself pretty well recovered, I still eat very cleanly and excersise regularly. The thing is, I worry that I come across as fake to the people I surround myself with, or that it appears like I'm trying to hold some \"holier-than-thou\" status over them. I assure you that this really isn't the case: I have immense respect for people who can accept themselves readily, regardless of what they've eaten that day.\nThis honestly particularly translates over to my actual romantic relationship. I'm fairly sure that the guy I'm dating picks up on how self conscious I am, and I'm sure that that's anything but attractive. I never mention it, but even still, I'm worried that I look like I'm fishing for complements or something by having behaviors such as earing healthily or running frequently. This is really, really not the case.\nSo here's my question: if someone eats healthy and excersises a lot, do you see them as \"fake\"? And does it seem like they're just looking for complements? Guys of reddit especially, if this were your girlfriend, what would you think of how they're acting?\nI'm also open to any ways to change my mindset. I'm honestly so tired of the insecurity. Thanks so much in advance.\nTl,dr: worried about how my eating habits and excersise are perceived by those around me, thoughts?", "post_id": "63g9au", "comment_id": "dftujlg"}, {"question": "In short, a qualified yes.\n\nIt's much, much slower to work than benzos, much more like SSRIs. You can't take it for acute anxiety, you have to have let the effect build up. (Although like SSRIs, it's not the drug itself that builds up in your system.) It has multiple times a day dosing, which is annoying.\n\nIt has few side effects, though. GI ones are the most common, but I've never had anyone complain about buspirone. It doesn't always work, but there's little reason not to at least give it a try.", "comment": "I want to ask my doctor for anxiety medication. I was thinking of asking him about Buspar. Is it a good choice? The Wikipedia site makes it sound perfect, but maybe it's inaccurate. I don't like benzodiazepines because they make me tired, and many antidepressants have tons of common side effects and you have to try many. Buspar sounds great though. Is it as good as it sounds?\n\nF, 38, 125 pounds, 5'5\", Midwest USA, diagnosis =POTS, medications = Adderall, trazodone for sleep, Florinef. \n\nThanks!", "post_id": "8dirsn", "comment_id": "dxni9ub"}, {"question": "Dear god can I commiserate. I am so sorry this fucking happened to you. My OBGYN told me to lose weight and I said I have tried to my entire life and had been thinking about weight loss surgery. She told me that was really drastic (in I weigh 300lbs, that\u2019s really drastic) and that I just needed to focus on loosing weight. I protested that I\u2019ve never been successful long term and she barrages me with how horrible it is to be fat while pregnant, basically makes me feel  like I\u2019m committing child abuse by thinking about having a baby while fat. \n\nI was just last week able to see a dietician and they measured my metabolism. I literally burn half as many calories as I should be. Which is both comforting, it\u2019s not just my willpower, but a bummer because there\u2019s not much to do about it other than eat half as much as a normal person. Ugh. \n\n\u201cJust eat better! Really try!\u201d\n\nFuck you. \n\n\n\n", "comment": "First, background! I've known I had PCOS since being age 17 when my periods started being silly. For years I've had eating problems- first anorexia, and then as I started uncontrollably gaining weight it ended up as a horrible anorexia/bulimia mixture. Since then I've always struggled with this, and I'm about halfway through a set of counselling sessions from my local eating disorder clinic.  At age 15 I was a size 8...age 26 and now I'm a size 24 (UK). I'm really struggling to get my head around the weight gain, and with the eating issues, I hate being told just to lose weight, because then my brain goes off into a mad tailspin. I *know* I'm overweight, please offer me some useful support or something!\n\nMe and husband have decided we would love to have children, but my periods come...maybe 3 times a year? We were trying for a year (I'm aware weight will not help, but I hoped I'd be lucky) and the GP referred us to the infertility specialist. All good so far. I went in to see him, and his first words were \"have you ever considered weight loss surgery?\". He then lectured me about not having the willpower to lose weight and how I really need to get motivated (And I'm just sat there thinking \"I'm motivated enough not to eat to lose weight, but somehow I still put loads of fat on...!\"). He prescribes me metformin \"but it's not a magic bullet, you really need to get motivated and do something\", and he'd recommend weight loss surgery \"but you have to show willingness to try\". I'm aware I'm overweight, aware it's not healthy, but I really am trying to get a healthy diet going! There was a junior Dr and a nurse in, and by this point I was feeling immensely humiliated. I wish I hadn't bothered :(\n\nSo I'm just feeling really really low, and hating my body. I hate myself for letting it get to this point. I feel a bit useless and stupid, and very very frustrated. My GP has sent me a letter asking me to go in for an appointment, and I'm actually really scared it'll be unpleasant\n", "post_id": "8fjbgc", "comment_id": "dy4acf9"}, {"question": "I did a research project on this during my doctoral program.  \n\nPeople with apotemnophilia experience distress due to the limb.  While there is a sexual component, they also bind their limbs, try to make a stump, whatever, and this decreases their levels of distress.  Most doctors won't amputate a healthy limb, so they'll attempt to saw iff a foot, I saw one guy stick a (or both) legs in a bucket of dry ice in the passenger seat of his car in a store parking lot.  Obviously, the damage required amputation, which was the goal.  Problem solved.  I remember the majority of people feeling less distress post-amputation.  The amputated limb was like a foreign object attached to them, and its removal was how they came to feel whole again.  \n\nAt the root of all of this, is it your OCD that's causing you the most distress?", "comment": "I've had an amputation fetish for quite some time, I think since I was 16 or 17 (I'm 22 now). It includes elements of both acrotomophilia and apotemnophilia. It's not BIID (I hope... my OCD is making me obsess over this, lol) - I have no actual desire to live the rest of my life as an amputee, it's purely sexual. However, I also have OCD, and after 8 months of obsessing over whether I'm transgender (I'm not), I've started obsessing over \"what if I actually have BIID deep down and I'm just in denial and I'll have to amputate someday?\" which scares the absolute shit out of me - I DO NOT want that at all. This has made me realize I really should nip this fetish in the bud before it potentially gets out of control. Is it possible to use some form of psychotherapy to get rid of fetishes? I really want this one gone even though a twisted little part of me wants to keep it around. It's not an exclusive paraphilia - it's maybe 30-40% of my porn consumption - which gives me hope that I might be able to get rid of it somehow.", "post_id": "ht5bbj", "comment_id": "fyfvs4y"}, {"question": "OP I don't know what school you are going for but a lot of schools have free counseling services.  I would suggest \"going to school to work on school work more\" but go see/look into a counselor there.  They would be able to help you with all of these issues in your life, saving your mental health and allowing you to finish school.  ", "comment": "I am currently living at home with an emotionally abusive mother because I feel like I don't have any other choice right now. I am a student and have no means of income so I can't move out. If I were to quit going to school that would enable me to move out, but that also would me giving up a college degree. I'm just at a loss of what to do. I don't know if I want advice or anything, this is just something that needs to finally be said. ", "post_id": "2ru328", "comment_id": "cnlirft"}, {"question": "First, some of the symptoms you described, while difficult and difficult to handle for you sound to me like normal teenage feelings just blown up. That means that they might get easier to handle as you get older. Being 17 isn't easy for anyone, I remember my teen years, but it sounds like you've had a more difficult time than you deserve. \n    \nSecond, while I don't understand your therapist's reasoning for ruling out BPD, I'm neither your therapist nor a licensed therapist in general. But, what I can tell you is that I have encountered many people diagnosed with \"Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified\". It's really common. My understanding is that because personality disorders are so broad, an individual can am have a few symptoms from column A, a few from column B, as is the nature of personality. I hope this isn't a barrier to your treatment, but it is possible. What you can do, though, is ask why your therapist ruled it out so quickly. \n    \nNow, don't despair about your treatment! Finding a therapist isn't an easy task, and if the fit with your current therapist isn't good, try to find another. I know you said getting the first appointment wasn't easy, but if you don't feel your mental health is benefiting, you should look into something different. \n    \nFinally, I want to caution you against researching symptoms. Schizophrenia is possible, but with what you've said here, I doubt it's what you're dealing with. And when you're with your therapist, focus more on being as accurate in your depiction of your symptoms individually, and let the therapist put it all together. \n    \nGood luck! It probably all feels like too much right now, but if you just focus on trying to get better, things can improve. \n    \n", "comment": "After many arguments with my mother begging her to call back to the mental health clinic I was trying to get into, I was finally able to get an appointment a few months ago. So far I've been to three appointments and my last appointment led to me FINALLY being diagnosed with something (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), but I apparently also have an unknown personality disorder.\nNow, I have major interest in psychology and have research symptoms, read up on everything, and gave my therapist a few suggestions as to what I was believing it may have been. I didn't say \"this is what I have start treating me\", I simply mentioned my two suggestions as to what I felt was the closest symptom wise.\n\nThe first being Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I listed my symptoms, explained why I believed mostly that it may be this. I told her I had frequent mood swings that weren't long term and were happening rapidly within seconds. These emotions are intense, lack of black and white feelings so I was either extremely angry, extremely depressed, or extremely happy and when I experience these, as I like to call, episodes, they seem to be over just as quickly as they started up. This is when I go on the plane of numbness as I call it. I feel no emotion I'm just tired. There are a handful of other things that go on that also lead me to this, my constant paranoia of being abandoned (which happened, my ex left me saying I was a piece of shit for being mentally ill and all this other shit. I cut off contact with him), making up things that aren't really happening in relationships with people (i.e. He's not talking to me, he's cheating on me. He's ignoring me. He doesn't want me anymore, so on and so forth), I begin to think really silly things at times that make zero sense and are illogical as far as about normal everyday things and relationships, everything is boring to me now even if I used to enjoy it. It's just a mess that causes me to stress and panic.\n\nNow, I know this mood disorder is something major. I know it can lead to MANY problems in my life and make it very difficult to hold relationships, but the point of me bringing it up was the fact I was showing a lot of the symptoms and I know I listed a few, but those were the ones I could think of right now with my brain being so foggy. My therapist and I discussed this at the last appointment:\n\nMania/Bipolar is out of the questions since my mood swings aren't more long term (lasting only seconds instead of days), Borderline Personality Disorder was ruled out for ONE reason being \"you were in a relationships for two and a half years so you can't have BPD\"... What? From my understanding it's 5 or more symptoms and you have been diagnosed. I show up to 8. The logic behind it not being BPD and it being \"unknown\" was being able to hold onto a horrid relationship for two and a half years. It had never been stable, him and I were always walking on glass, and I would rip it all to shreds in a matter of seconds if I could WITH ZERO REASON and I loved this guy, I still do, we were doing great until I started getting sick and symptoms got worse. The duration of my relationship should have nothing to do with it... but the QUALITY should.\n\nAnyway, I walked out of the office extremely confused as to what my unknown personality disorder is and they have zero clue what it could be. The only thing brought up about it was my anxiety is causing it, but I've had anxiety my whole life and I've never been like this as far as my emotions spinning how they are. I don't know. I just wonder if I should seek another opinion or switch therapists.\n\nI left out info about myself so I'll include that. I'm a 17 year old female who literally has zero clue what to do anymore. I also forgot to mention my second idea was early schizophrenia, which I knew wasn't too close, but a few signs were there, but I wasn't exactly 100% set on this might be it and brought it up simply to see what my therapists thoughts were.", "post_id": "25o0ze", "comment_id": "chj32c3"}, {"question": "My caution is that you\u2019re getting this second-hand from your friend. As has already been explained, conversion (functional neurological disorder) is a specific syndrome. It is the unconscious and unintentional production of signs and symptoms that appear neurological but do not seem to be produced by observable neurological damage. Sometimes no problem could possibly produce the symptoms; other times careful examination and testing does not find any such damage or problem. It\u2019s a diagnosis of exclusion in that it\u2019s identified when the problem isn\u2019t something else, like a stroke or epilepsy or nerve damage, but that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s a \u201cwe don\u2019t know\u201d giving-up. It\u2019s a specific phenomenon.\n\nBecause conversion is unconscious, she can\u2019t \u201cjust stop it\u201d because she isn\u2019t doing anything on purpose. Classically, it\u2019s a response to some psychological stress. In practice, the specific stress can be hard to identify, but the treatment of choice remains psychotherapy, sometimes focused on the symptoms.", "comment": "Hi, my friend (16F, 189cm about 100kg) has recently been diagnosed with coversion syndrome/disorder and i was wondering if it's something the doctors diagnose you with if they dont know what it is? I would also like to know spicifically what it is beacuse each time the doctors have explained it the explanation is diffrent.", "post_id": "hcerco", "comment_id": "fvf0ixn"}, {"question": "Do not attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity. \n\nCan this be explained by pure stupidity?", "comment": "This is weird and hard for me to do since I've never posted on here before, just read through other's. I apologize for any formatting issues, like I mentioned not super familiar with reddit. \n\nStory: last night my bf and I  contiplated a buffet for dinner. We were a bit concerned about the craze going on with the CoronaVirus and going to a buffet, but ultimately decided it would be safe since onky a couple cases of the virus have been found in our state and they're like 6 hrs away from us. As we're standing in line, the family right in front of us is an all Asian family (clearly speaking their native tongue). There was a baby, a toddler, 2 older people, and 2 middle aged people who appeared to be the kid's parents. My bf pulls me to the side and asks if we should still eat here due to the people in front of us. I was....  really disappointed to say the least. \n\nHere's the thing, I'm african American and my boyfriend is white. When I asked what he meant he made a comment about Asian people being more susceptible to the virus and him only making the comment in concern for our safety. However, I tried explaining to him that at this point everyone is equally as susceptible and I thought it was a shit thing to stereotype and isolate a when group of people based just on what they look like. I told him that even though he may not have meant it, his comment was racist and as a person of color I've faced similar discrimination and want a partner who is able to understand things like this (which he always has before) This turned into a huge argument and I didnt even finish dinner, and instead went to go sit in the car while he finished. \n\nThe argument continued to our home and I've been struggling with my own emotions ever since. Part of me doesnt knowing I can be with him anymore because these values and views are so important to me and I dont want an insensitive partner. He swears he was just speaking logistically, but still sees nothing wrong with what he's said or he thought process. I dont know wtf to do! I love this guy with all my heart and have imagined my future and rest of my life with him. Am I overreacting by ending my entire relationship based on this? Or will I be making a huge mistake by overlooking this \ud83d\udea9 and later in life marrying someone who doesnt care to understand my experience as a minority in America?", "post_id": "ffdt2q", "comment_id": "fjy4m1c"}, {"question": "Placebo is not packaged as an active drug; any possibly placebo medication (for study) is labeled as a study drug. You would not receive that from a pharmacy.\n\nWithdrawal effects from antidepressants are idiosyncratic. It doesn't surprise me that missing a few days didn't cause any problems.", "comment": "I am 25, Male, 216lbs, Australian, Non-Smoker, occasional Drinker, diagnosed with a few different types of Anxiety, Depression and Panic Disorder early 2019 and have been on Escitalopram Sandoz ever since starting at 10mg then going up to 20mg and am also receiving therapy.  I am currently been taking Ashwaganda, Colostem and Apple Cider Vinegar supplements daily for the past year as well.\n\nThe panic attacks have settled down but the anxiety and depression is still there.   It has been hard to tell whether the medication did much at all but I know I was on something as if I missed a dose I would start experiencing the withdrawal effects with the most noticeable being the brain zaps which without fail.  The last time I visited my doctor was maybe 3 months ago and he prescribed 3 months worth of scripts or refills of the antidepressant medication and told me to come back when it is finished.   I also want to get off this medication as I don't see it being effective enough and I don't want to be messing with my body like this if there isn't a noticeable payoff in my overall mood and I think that another medication might be better for tackling this or just more therapy.\n\nI am normally good with my medication and am on time but the other day I was really busy and forgot to take my medication.   I have not experienced any side effects and have not had any brain zaps or had the shit feelings that I had when I have previously missed my medication.    Normally when I have forgotten for any reason I have been reminded I have missed the medication due to those brain zaps that feels like my brain is glitching out.  It has been close to 3 days now and I have still experienced no of the side effects of missing my medication like the previous scripts.   I also started thinking about it and I experienced intense anxiety a few weeks ago around the time I refilled my script.  My sex drive has also been the highest its been in a year and you could put that down to the Ashwaganda but I have been taking that for the past year and don't see how that could kick in just now.    \n\nMy question is, is there a chance that I have been prescribed a placebo in the original sealed packaging?   I am going to take one now just incase it is just a lower dose but I am a bit confused as to whats going on.   Is it just in my head?   Am I withdrawing but just not experiencing side effects?   Could I have been placed on a lower dose placebo as 20mg but really 10mg or possibly 5mg?\n\nI am seeing my doctor in the coming weeks but just wanted to know.  Thank you in advance.\n\n​\n\nTL;DR \n\nOn antidepressants.   Normally experience brain zaps if I miss a dose.   refilled.   Accidentally missed a few doses and no brain zaps.", "post_id": "fgr4l1", "comment_id": "fk7djpg"}, {"question": "help her find a therapist", "comment": "My gf has been hurt many times in the past. Cheated on, lied to, etc. In her last relationship, the girl she was with emotionally abused her and tore her apart. My gf has also been my best friend for almost 4 years, and I was the one who always tried to make her feel better whenever her ex would do something. She has always been a little self conscious, but this past relationship really hurt her in multiple ways. How do I help her with her trust issues and her self image problems? I hate to see her think she isn't stunning. I hate that she worries about if I could be keeping something from her because of her past relationships. I really want to help her as much as I can, but I'm at a loss. I'm trying to help in every way i can.. But I'm scared it isn't enough. Any ideas?", "post_id": "5rd9pw", "comment_id": "dd6hysv"}, {"question": "go to an optometrist or ophthalmologist\n\n​", "comment": " \n\nHello!\n\nI just found this sub and I wonder if you wonderful people may help me understand what is this thing.\n\n**Info about me:**\n\n* 30 Male, 5'11\" / 181 cm , 265 lb / 120 kg, Hispanic.\n* No drugs, former smoker, 2-3 drinks per week.\n* At the time I only used zolmitriptan on a as-needed basis for migraines. Now I'm on sertraline, but that didn't change a thing related to this symptom.\n* I've had high uric acid before but it has been normal.\n\n​\n\n**The symptom part:**\n\nFor  the last 4 years (For some reason this started on Dec 25th) when I tilt  my head sideways (That is, looking straight ahead standing normal  moving my head as to get my ear closer to my shoulder) a light area  brightens in my vision. It happens on the eye to which the movement was  done (Tilt right, happens on right eye) and it happens always on the  lower part of the vision, and on the nose side/corner.\n\nIf  you press your eyeball through your eyelid from the side you will see a  light, it seems similar, and the tilt one disappears half a second  after movement.\n\nCan somebody point me in the right direction?\n\nThanks!", "post_id": "aeqkls", "comment_id": "edru103"}, {"question": "best to thoroughly explore the voids with your bf, then decide if it's better and great, or it's over.", "comment": "So I'm currently with a long term boyfriend and I love him to death but lately I've been getting feelings for another guy and I'm not sure why, but it happened and not I don't know how to face it. Neither guy knows about the other. The new guy is just someone I've been talking to a few weeks now and hung out with a few times. I told this new guy I can't date or anything but my feelings are in deep, and I just can't seem to figure them out. I would be so lost without my current boyfriend but I obviously had to fill a void, something was wrong or missing. This new guy is everything I would want if I was single. I really like both, and I'd be sad to lose either of them. I just don't want to do anything I'll regret. How do you tell someone that has loved you for over a year that you need time and space? Or maybe I don't, and I just need both of them. But then I'd have to look that person in the eye and say I'm not happy with monogamy. This is just killing me. \nI want my current boyfriend to be the one I'm with when I'm 90, but I'm so young, and I wanna make 100% sure I end up with the right person. ", "post_id": "78vjfw", "comment_id": "dox20bi"}, {"question": ">My question is: even though I have not found the right fit, I still have taken some valuable lessons and information from each therapist so that is some kind of progress right?\n\nYes, that is absolutely progress. I would say most often change that happens is more about changing trajectories; it may be small in the moment but it large long-term. \n\nThere are times when a big change happens quickly and those are most memorable. But most is the smaller step-by-step progress.\n\nReading books and continuing to try to find someone to work with is good work.  ", "comment": "So here goes. I am not sure where to post this but I could use some advice from trained therapists. \n\n​\n\nI am on my 6th therapist..well just terminated with my 6th this year. I cannot find a fit and I am so frustrated. I am torn between going to a 7th this Saturday because our text exchange before even meeting has seemed very odd. I still don't know if my gut is telling me to run or not or not go (written in previous post)\n\n​\n\nBut I am trying to reframe this experience so I can keep going.\n\nEven if I haven't found the right therapist, I feel like they are still out there somewhere but I am just afraid I cannot afford it right now or cannot afford to keep throwing hundreds of dollars at this. The system in the US fucking SUCKS.\n\n​\n\nAnyways, in the meantime I have been reading every book I can. Books on empaths, books on CPTSD, books on DBT, CBT, anything and everything about mental health and self-care. I still am not sure what my official diagnosis is yet..as I have not stuck it out long enough with anyone for them to be able to get a clear picture either. But I have been told...GAD, PTSD, Empath and well it has been implied maybe even BPD.\n\n​\n\nMy question is: even though I have not found the right fit, I still have taken some valuable lessons and information from each therapist so that is some kind of progress right? I need to beleive that my growth and healing journey is still going even if I don't have that 1 hour a week support system to bounce ideas off of.\n\n​", "post_id": "ae7vt7", "comment_id": "ednwby3"}, {"question": "My current sobriety date is from when I was 17. A man in my home group picked up 24 years two weeks ago and he got sober at 15. Never disqualify yourself based on differences you see, look at similarities.\n\nI know exactly where you're coming from though, all of my grandparents are alcoholics, and my dad's an addict.\n\nHowever unlike you alcohol has already caused significant damage to my life. I have multiple drinking citations, I've been expelled from high school, I attempted suicide, and I could go on for days about the problems alcohol has caused me. I've been blessed with the chance to stop though.\n\nI'm just not entirely sure what you're asking, but I would suggest you take a period of abstinence(from everything), to clear your head. ", "comment": "Heh, yeah, sounds dumb i know. It's true though, unfortunately.\n\nMy parents were both alcoholic minors as well. My mother (for example) lived in an abusive household. Her parents would throw parties, she would pick up afterward. She was nine when she had her first drink. She sipped some out of the bottom of a glass. Obviously at nine that sort of thing was an instinct. \n\nI have the same instinct. \n\nMy parents got help in AA very quickly (that's actually how they met. awww) and don't allow alcohol in our household, never have. You could say I'm sheltered.\n\nMy sophomore year of high school was when it started. I was also blessed with my father's severe anxiety and my mother's clinical depression. Sometimes I would get so upset I would feel the urge to get so damn drunk. I would want to drink myself away. But I'd never drank before. My first drink was prom night my senior year, years later. \n\nSo I've had this internal thing, in my DNA, making me an alcoholic.\n\nAlright, so down to business. My two best friends part a lot. One of them smokes weed every day and the other hosts parties at her apartment every weekend. I'm currently in her apartment as we speak because I was high earlier today and couldn't go home. \n\nAnyway, it isn't really causing any immediate problems in my life, but I'm worried about what could happen in the future. Maybe I could be blowing off studying for finals (I go to community college) to party all weekend. What if I travel somewhere drunk and end up in jail? I'm no where near any of these scanarios---when me and my best friends party, it's just a small gathering of 18-19 year olds having a good time. But who knows how fast it could escalate.\n\nObviously, I can't really get a therapist because I would have to explain to my parents the problem. Which I can't do. They'd force me to never see my best friends again. I still live at home and as of now they completely control me. On the flip side, I refuse to distance myself from my friends. They're all I have. I can't say no to going to the parties because I want to spend time with my friends, but I suppose I could try going to parties, but just not drinking. Although, I just don't know how I'd go about it. \n\nI'm just a kid guys. I have no idea what I'm doing. I only graduated high school this past June. I need advice from people that already have life pretty much figured out.  \n", "post_id": "1a2t6o", "comment_id": "c8tkq3h"}, {"question": "Are you seeing a therapist? If so, have you talked to him/her about this? If not, how often do you see your prescriber? Would that warrant you time to talk about this, or at the very least ask for a referral to a therapist? Finally, if none of those above are an option, and your parents won't help, find one on the Internet an call them. Tell them your situation and ask for some help. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, talk to the school counselor or psychologist at your school ASAP. \n    \nI hope this helps in some way. Just remember, if you want grades to get into college, you don't have to have all A's, and once you get to college, High School doesn't matter. ", "comment": "Hey this is the best Reddit I could find for this, if not redirect me.\n\nAnyway I have multiple thing going on in my life such as dyslexia, ADD, depression, and I am a compulsive liar.  Anyway my family and I a few years ago went out to get these problems \"fixed\" by counseling or meds.  At the beginning of the school year (I am 16) my ADD increased and the docs had to change my meds.  Story short, they were wrong and they distorted my grades in school.  Now, I have VERY high goals for myself and my grades were ALL ripped down from an  A+'s to D's.  As you can think that tore me up inside, but u can come back from those levels of despair.  After a few weeks we changed my meds but nothing changed, if anything it got worse.  An idea that keeps going through my head is that \"I don't care\" about school, but in the back of my mind I still had the will to do well.   \n\nOver a few months this  idea got maddening and I just snapped and all of my old problems that were fixed earlier came back.   It has been a few months sense then  and my physical self has gotten better but not my mental and whenever I try to tell my parents about the mental part they just part it as bad memories.  I am now spending 80% of my at home time trying to bring up my grades, but my parents think I should doing more but I refuse because I need a mental break to be a teenager and such.  Because they don't like my viewpoint and don't believe that that small amount of free time has been providing me a break from all of this they are starting to take my hobbies away.  (ALL of my hobbies are things like snowboarding, airsoft and camping.  I don't video game that much, an hour a weak, so let's get that argument out of the way) Basically it is the only thing that gives me reliable happiness.  I feel near another collapse and I don't know what to do.  I am getting done struggling.  I know this isn't much compared to some people but I just don't know what to do.  Any help would be great.\n\nPlease ignore any grammar errors, I am on a phone and it is late. ", "post_id": "1urqqm", "comment_id": "cel96ma"}, {"question": "Since becoming unemployed, what does he do during the day?", "comment": "Hi lovely people of reddit. My brother (20) has had trouble sleeping for around a year and a half. It started when he became unemployed for a long period of time, he was temporarily using cannabis to get him to sleep but he has very recently stopped smoking it which was the best thing that could ever happen to him. But, he's panicking because the doctors had prescribed him Zopiclone 3.75mg about 5 months ago when he started working again and are now saying they won't prescribe him any more after his last dose, which is tonight. I know him, he won't take much persuading to start smoking weed again and this is a very strong push towards that solution. What can he do? He says that his doctor is very abrupt with him and isn't the most kind/open doctor so he doesn't feel like he can talk to him about this stuff. \n\nI've suggested going to a different doctor surgery (there's one right up the road) or asking to see a different doctor. However I don't know if the reason why they won't give him more is because the drug is dangerous or any other valid reason, if that is the case what are his alternatives? \n\nAny help would be amazing, so thanks in advance!", "post_id": "626vt5", "comment_id": "dfkmon9"}, {"question": "Oh yes. ... I hear you but the booze makes it harder. Stay strong... and be kind to yourself", "comment": "Wouldn\u2019t call it an actual craving to drink as I know it wouldn\u2019t help, but it is tough living with a 2ft tall psychopath (one that I love dearly and I know I\u2019ll miss this age eventually)\ud83d\ude1c. Onward!", "post_id": "c00s0k", "comment_id": "er3exyw"}, {"question": "It took a while for me to really accept that I just had a different experience with alcohol than other people. Some people drink regularly and it is a really positive experience for them.\n\nI can identify with the feelings of everyone is under mass hypnosis via alcohol in the early months/years after quitting.\n\nI know it certainly doesn't work for me, but who am I to say it is a bad thing for people to have alcohol as a common factor for a lot of their experiences in life? ", "comment": "\"That one time we had a couple of drinks after work AT WORK and zomg it was sooo awesome\"\n\n\"Had a few drinks and laughed soooo hard lololol\"\n\n\"Had a rough week so I'll open the bottle as soon as I get home, because friday and asdfghjkl yolo drinking is so cool at 35\"\n\n\"When the kids are asleep I'm going to have a few glasses, this week was especially hard and I like totally need to unwind\"\n\nI'm having a hard time not reacting to these. It feels like so many people are under mass hypnosis - they might not have drinking problems, but everything nice/relaxing/memorable is associated to it. At 30+ years. Anyone else feel this?", "post_id": "5vz6eh", "comment_id": "de60z6x"}, {"question": "Are you actually depressed? Could it be a personality disorder? ", "comment": "I'm not depressed. In The Beck Depression Inventory I'm on \"minimal depression\" or in my language \"possible episodes of depression\". \n\nBut I'm suicidal, for years now, I've done some cutting and stuff, so it's obvious there's something wrong with me. Yet, lately it's getting better, I discovered. When I'm sad, when something bad happens, my first thought is to kill my self, BUT my second is like \"it's gonna get better, you'll find a way\".\n\nAnd I'm hatting it. I know, it sounds like I'm f*cking baby complaining it can't do something that's obviously bad for it... It's like some part of me (big part) don't want to be a survivor, just want to cut itself and cut myself from my friends, people who can help me. \n\nDo you even feel like that? What is it? Why? Is it part of the process of getting better or am I just f*cked. ", "post_id": "75q4r6", "comment_id": "do82sr9"}, {"question": "long term relationships go through ups and downs. look at the big picture. if the rel. is loving, solid, stable and she's terrific, then hang in there.  keep talking and see a counselor if necessary", "comment": "Hey everyone, since some time my feelings for my girlfriend of ~2 years are getting weaker. I assume it could be because I started working >40hours about a year ago. We dont live together, so we only see each other on our date nights, and with my different sports and spending time with my flatmates I would say we met on average 1-2 times a week in the last year. Could this be the reason my feelings towards her are diminishing? \n\nBecause of this we're taking a break of one week and my feelings are going like a rollercoaster, yesterday morning I felt super anxious because of the thought of not being with her anymore, but when I came home and watched some sports with my flatmates, afterwards I was not so sure anymore. I dont know what I should do.\n\nShe is an extraordinary girl and if I could rekindle the love I had in the beginning I would absolutely love to do so, but I dont know if can manage that. I dont want to give her false hope and then end it some months later. Is there any way to be sure?\n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated!", "post_id": "5ssdl6", "comment_id": "ddhjrwi"}, {"question": "Benzo withdrawals can be dangerous. Consult your doctor. ", "comment": "I took lorazepam for a while, accidentally got addicted...made the mental choice to stop because my emotions didn't feel the same. I was completely numb, adrenaline suppressed. Asked to switch, got put on another benzo, clonazepam. Been weaning off for a couple months. I'm down to a half of a .5  pill  a day. Going off the pill entirely my body gets very anxious. Can I comfortably wean off this stuff? I figured going from half to nothing would work. More importantly, will my emotions/neurotransmitters allow me to actually have feelings again? I went on a bunch of roller coasters yesterday, I didn't experience it like I did pre-benzo. Falling in love, taking in the scenery, nothing feels the same, or much like anything. Anyone else have success stories with regulating how they experience feelings after getting off this stuff? ", "post_id": "1hmt9t", "comment_id": "caw5p8u"}, {"question": "What you describe could possibly be symptomatic of a few different mental illnesses. Depending on what else is going on in your life it could be anything from Major Depression with Psychotic features to Borderline Personality Disorder. Your best bet is to seek out a mental health provider in your area to get an accurate diagnosis as well as help. ", "comment": "I posted this on /r/depression but I didn't get many answers to my question. Anyway, here it is:\n\nI've always known that there's something tangibly 'wrong' with me: I never had any close friends; I was always bullied at school; have never been intelligent or 'driven'; and used to have detailed fantasies about killing people and rampaging with light-machine guns and such stuff. Lately though, as I've become a true adult, life has become impossible - I can't stress this enough.\n\nDue to the stress of not being able to fit in at work or being able to have relationships with people I've started having voices in my head. Now these voices aren't audible; they are more like intrusive thoughts that pop up very aggressively, usually when something bad happens or I've failed at something (I fail everything I ever do).\n\nThese voices tell me weird shit like \"God spits in your face\", \"You are a waste of everyone's time\", \"Kill yourself, you stupid cunt\", \"Hurry up and end yourself\". I don't understand what's wrong with me. I feel or show very little emotion and people at work have always joked that I'm a good candidate for a serial killer (a guy at my last job used to call me 'Bundy'). I enjoy self-harming to relieve stress.\n\nI'm an incredibly slow, lackadaisical person and have been likened to sloth or a zombie; I feel very narcoleptic and depressed very often but have times where also I'm annoying and hyperactive and get on people's nerves. People call me a mixture of things like \"calm\", \"laid-back\" but usually it's negative things like \"retard\", \"idiot\".\n\nI've never been diagnosed with anything, but I'm starting to worry that I might have to kill myself because I can't fit in or have a life worth living. I thought I had autism a few years ago but I can be very good socially, but I don't feel like a human being - more like an outsider or a visual replica of a human.\n\nDoes anyone recognise these symptoms, or am I alone?\n\nThanks :)", "post_id": "1shida", "comment_id": "cdxqwjp"}, {"question": "Dude as someone who is turning 31 next month, the 20s sucked. Being a teen sucked. I'm actually better able to control my emotions and reactions, I am more responsible, and more independent. I never want to go back to that. My life continues to get better", "comment": "I turn 21 next week, and I\u2019m so freaked out by it. I love celebrating my birthday, but I don\u2019t want to get any older. If anything, I want to be a teenager again and relive those years over and over and over again. I\u2019m not even old, but it still freaks me out. Does anybody have any advice on how to cope with this?", "post_id": "bjyh5j", "comment_id": "emcls6z"}, {"question": "Ugh I\u2019m so sorry that happened and glad you\u2019re all safe. ", "comment": "So I was doing my son some toast under the grill but of course nature calls I come out 15 mins later to the wall behind the grill looking like scorched earth box of tissues and a magazine on fire luckily I was able to put it out kids safe which is the main thing but fml.", "post_id": "akmyok", "comment_id": "ef66dtw"}, {"question": "Not very considerate of him", "comment": "My (46F) boyfriend (46M) have been together for 6 years this time. We dated in high school/college for 6 years too, so we have a lot of history. I love him but I think he's selfish, and he thinks I'm demanding. Case in point. My birthday is in a few weeks and his is the week after. Several days ago, he showed me a photo of a lovely bed and breakfast in the mountains. It's a place I would love. 2 days ago, he asks if I would like to go away the weekend before my birthday. I think he means the place he showed me and tell him I'd love to. Then he proceeds to tell me he's thinking we could go to Gainesville. I have zero interest in going there (we are in Orlando) and I just look at him, mind kind of puzzled . Then he proceeds to tell me that my birthday weekend is when the big friends of the library book sale is and we can go to that, then to some breweries for some drinks and maybe get a hotel. In other words, his dream day. I have zero interest in spending 4 or more hours at a used book sale and he has several thousand (yes, you read that correctly) used books, so he doesn't actually need any reading material.  I don't say anything, but spend a couple of days thinking about what I do want to do (I have children and family I want to spend time with) and think about What I'm going to do for his birthday. I am on a tight budget, but decide to spring for a Wanee ticket. It's his favorite thing in the world and he enjoys going, listening to music and getting away by himself. It's the Th, F, S before my birthday. I give him the ticket and he's thrilled.  He said he didn't want to spend the money and he had already planned to spend the weekend with me bc of my birthday.  I told him it was fine bc I didn't want to book shop and drink beer for my birthday anyway. Then he says that we can still go to the book sale on Sunday. I again tell him I don't want to go. So he says he will just go on his own on his way home and he will won't be home till dinner time Sunday. I am really hurt by this. He is going to leave Wednesday, spend the next 3 days at this festival and then all day Sunday book shopping. He works on my actual birthday. Am I being unreasonable?  Is he totally selfish?  \n\ntl;dr: boyfriend has a fun filled weekend planned for himself, on my birthday", "post_id": "62dri8", "comment_id": "dflp47k"}, {"question": "I'm sure something small would be fine as long as you don't make a big deal out of it.\n\nYou could also just ask him.", "comment": "This probably sounds like a stupid and self-answering question, but I\u2019m truly torn about it.\n\nI\u2019ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. It\u2019s not serious but I care for him a lot and want to show him that I do. His birthday\u2019s coming up soon and I wanted to get him a little something. But he recently told me he hates his birthday. He said he doesn\u2019t like the attention.\n\nHe hasn\u2019t outright told me he doesn\u2019t want anything and I\u2019m sure he wouldn\u2019t be upset with me if I did get him something. Plus it feels wrong to get him nothing, almost rude. But I want to respect his feelings about his birthday and avoid making a huge deal about it, in case I make him uncomfortable.\n\nThoughts?", "post_id": "d32vgy", "comment_id": "ezyb7jz"}, {"question": "For that level of detail you might need a psychopharm expert, which I'm not. But from a quick look, Tramadol is an SNRI (among other things) so you might consider those. Duloxetine (Cymbalta) is a purer SNRI than some others, although the only way to know if that's especially good or bad for you is to e.g. try a SNRI/dopamine reuprake inhibitor like Effexor and see.\n\nIt could also be the 5HT2c antagonism that helps you, in which case good ol' Prozac is the easiest replacement.\n\nSadly we don't really understand antidepressants at the receptor level, so you could try those or try standard treatment with nothing in common with Tramadol and also have a good response, or try the \"similarly options and have no response. Those are where you can start, though.", "comment": "I would like to switch to a weaker painkiller than Tramadol for my chronic pain, but I also would like to keep its antidepressant like effects if possible. I have no reason for wanting to switch other than wanting to see if anti-inflammatory medication works better, and to get of narcotic like medicaion. Essentially I want a long term solution than an as needed pain killer.\n\nAge: 24\n\nSex: Male\n\nHeight: 6ft\n\nWeight:155ish lbs\n\nRace: White\n\nMedical Issue: Chronic Pain from joint damage. Pain scale 4-6 \n\nArea: Right shoulder, right wrist, right hip, right knee, left knee, and lower back.", "post_id": "8a2ou7", "comment_id": "dwvd55x"}, {"question": "There's simply not enough for anyone to answer your question here. Yes, no sex can be a deal-breaker. Sex is a vital part of most relationships. There's no way of knowing whether it was in your situation, though.\n\nIt will get better with time. I know you're questioning yourself right now, but don't let that change what's important to you. If you want to wait for sex, wait. There are guys out there that will be happy to support that.", "comment": "So I met this guy [18/M] about a year ago. We started dating about 2 months after we met and things were perfect. We are so alike and have amazing conversations. I, [19/F], am very hesitant about having sex because I've had bad experiences. Since the beginning of the relationship, I told him I wouldn't sleep with him, I explained my reasons and he was very understanding. We would engage in fore play and fool around here and there.  However, after about 9 months together, he started becoming very distant from one day to the next. This went on for 3 weeks. I'd try to contact him, take him food and be supportive but he wasn't responding. Thus, we broke up a few days ago. I kept asking if the reason behind it was that I wouldn't sleep with him, but he never really said yes or no. \nSo my question is, is sex really such an important component of a relationship? Do you all think the break up was my fault? ", "post_id": "70ojb4", "comment_id": "dn4om6o"}, {"question": "Yep! I was thinking this same thing today haha. I laugh because that's all you can do really. Keep fighting the good fight ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "8dzwzn", "comment_id": "dxrakoq"}, {"question": "[March 23rd](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1av3x4/saturday_sharemarch_23_2013/)", "comment": "Starting again!\n\nSpots available every Saturday. We had a lot of no shows last string, which sort of sucks, because I think they are really powerful.\n\nSaturday March 23rd: [AFunnyName](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1av3x4/saturday_sharemarch_23_2013/)\n\nSaturday March 30th: [CalgaryRichard](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1bbr6t/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday April 6th: [futurestorms](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1btgwz/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday April 13th: [Slipacre Part 1](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1c9hj8/saturday_share_part_1_going_down/) [Part 2](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1c9hrb/saturday_share_part_two_recovery/)\n\nSaturday April 20th: [WIAVSM](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1cqw2o/saturday_share_wiavsm/)\n\nSaturday April 27th: [sgreenha](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d8bw9/saturday_share_427/)\n\nSaturday May 4th: [TheLastGallifreyan](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1dma52/saturday_share_4_may/)\n\nSaturday May 11th: chinopkt\n\nSaturday May 18th: VA_Mom\n\nSaturday May 25th: juliand89\n\nSaturday June 1st: mountainfail\n\nSaturday June 8th: coleomegilla\n\nSaturday June 15th: [spaceman_37](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1ge2zn/saturday_share_wall_of_text/)\n\nSaturday June 22nd: [thats_quite_enough](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1gv3un/saturday_share/)\n\nSaturday June 29th: [missfestival](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1hb5cd/saturday_share_62913_missfestival/)\n\nSaturday July 6th: Kaysuhdiller\n\nSaturday July 13th:\n\nSaturday July 20th: flavorraven\n\nSaturday July 27th:\n\n\nThat's it for now. Sign up and commit!\n\n\nWe are also asking that the person doing their share to message whoever signed up to do the next share. With all our responsibilities it's tough to remember all the commitments we make. So help everyone out and send a friendly reminder!\n\n\n", "post_id": "1as5t8", "comment_id": "c910cgx"}, {"question": "I have dodged this ever since my application was denied due to them not liking the rabies cert I provided. What more do you want from me, such-and-such county??\n\nHere's what happens in my experience. First, they send the renewal form a few times. Then they try to call you. That's it.\n\nIt will depend on your area, but it is unlikely that you will be fined, even if that is technically possible. HOWEVER, if your dog escapes and is ultimately found by animal control (versus a private citizen finding your dog and calling the number on the tag, or a shelter which is not under control of the county or city), you will have to pay the fine to get your dog back, which is usually $200-$300.", "comment": "Why do I bother? What is the worst that could happen if I refuse to pay? It feels like I am being taxed on owning a dog. ", "post_id": "3pomje", "comment_id": "cw83lck"}, {"question": "The clinical, real-world significance of grapefruit's effect on sertraline metabolism isn't so clear, and it's also not very well known how much other citrus fruits have effects on drug metabolism. If you have been drinking lemon juice and had no problems it's not likely to start suddenly. If Zoloft is a new medication then I still would consider it safe to consume lemon, or even grapefruit, with the understanding that it could possibly increase drug levels.\n\nBottom line: there are drugs that definitely aren't safe with grapefruit, but Zoloft and other SSRIs aren't clearly in that category. With other fruit it's even less clear. For a perfectly clean metabolic picture you'd have to avoid all food entirely, and that's obviously impossible.", "comment": "Age: 28 \nSex: female \nHeight: 5'3 \nWeight: 110lbs\n\nI know grapefruit is off the table, that's totally fine with me as I've never been a big consumer of it. However, I do drink water with about a whole small lemon's worth of juice every day. I can't find much on it through Google, but seems like the two common fruits we eat today are probably related, or at least, lemons also contain furanocoumarins. \n\nDoes consumption of lemons, or even limes, have any impact on SSRIs?", "post_id": "97tze5", "comment_id": "e4b0m0c"}, {"question": "i wouldn't measure your rel. by texting quantity. if the rel. is basically solid, loving and meeting your biggest needs, that's what counts. life is about the big picture, seeing the forest for the trees.", "comment": "BF (Male, 24) and I (Female, 21) are together for 8 months. In the beginning, he used to text me all the time and tell me every day how amazing/cute/pretty I am.\n\nWe see each other about 3-4 days a week, and if we are together he is still quite affectionate. He always holds my hand when we walk outside, he hugs me every day and he tells me every day that he loves me. He also still can't get enough of me in the bed room. If I hang out with him, he gives me all of his attention.\n\nBut when it comes to texting, it's much less than before. He's a gamer, and he's bad at multitasking. \nSo in the beginning of our relationship he quit gaming because he wanted to talk to me. Since the start, we have a habit that we talk through whatsapp the entire evening until we are going to sleep. Now, we still talk every evening  but it's mostly by my effort. He does not say much when I don't say something and it makes me sad. especially when I read all our convo's in the beginning of our relationship. Now he's gaming the entire evening, and sometimes says something through text but not much, maybe 6 or 7 messages in an hour. Am I overreacting? Is this normal? \n\nedit: he told me he finds it hard to focus on a game and a chat on the same time so he asked if we could skype call instead during the evenings, but I hate phone/skype calls so i denied that. it gives me anxiety for some reason", "post_id": "5qaz88", "comment_id": "dcxq9kt"}, {"question": "I've always had a morbid curiosity for messed up things. I first considered a coroner but you need to be a doctor and I (unnecessarily) doubted my ability. The next most interesting thing was forensic psychology. \n\nAfter looking into and applying for a range of degrees, I got accepted into a bachelor of arts in psychology. 6 years later I'm four weeks away from handing my second thesis in and becoming a fully registered clinical psychologist. I think in the future I would like to go on to do medicine but for now I'm going to work for a bit and see where I end up. Still interested in forensic and legal work... might work in a court system for a while.", "comment": "I'm stuck. \n\nI need to decide on a viable career path to start following as I work on my novel. So I thought I would do a little crowd sourcing to see how those of you with careers and degrees finally settled on what seems to be working in your life. \n\nAs with many of us I have very real strengths and weaknesses. One huge weakness is fitting in, it's so problematic that I get fired from jobs constantly because no matter what I do, no matter how I check my words and reactions, I just never become a part of the \"team\".  And of course if my interest is not held in a constant state of excitement and reward, I'll just float off into procrastination. So I'm thinking I need to run my own business and it needs to be something that does not require many, if any co-workers. \n\nStrengths, I have the gift of gab. I can talk to anybody about anything and be super charming in small doses. Public speaking is basically second nature, in truth I often feel more comfortable on a stage. I'm good with plants, herbs and food. I have an extensive history with sports and physical fitness. People often come to me for tips on healthy meal planning and the science behind the food and drinks they are ingesting. In my big dreams I could see myself attacking the diet and fitness industry from the outside as a reasonable voice for actual health, but I believe that could just be one of my ADHD pipe dreams. \n\nWhile it seems clear that I have an idea of what to pursue, I am genuinely afraid of losing interest and failing at yet another thing. I know I will have little support because I've gone down so many different paths thinking this is the one! \n\nHow did you do it? How did you settle on what felt right for you? How can you tell what is just another flash in the pan hobby interest, vs. something you can keep up for years?", "post_id": "df0akk", "comment_id": "f32zvw8"}, {"question": "Hell, I would have stared too & I'm a girl! Some people...", "comment": "I was riding the subway in my city, minding my own business, when I see this lady shuffling around in her seat. She was on her way home from work, I think, and it was a hot day. She had a low-cut shirt on and a large bosom. Now, I'm not one to complain about what people wear or how much skin they show off, but the way she was moving and the outfit she was wearing made it hard not to notice her chest. It= caught a flash of flesh out of the corner of my eye and stared for maybe half a second.\n\nShe gave me this look like I had just violated her in the worst way, then heaved a huge, disgusted sigh and continued to glare at me until she got off the train. \n\nThe thing is, I'm gay! I don't even like boobies in that way - I just couldn't help but notice them because they were all over the place. I hate that she treated me like a perv - she didn't know what I was thinking or who I was, and was apparently completely oblivious to the fact that her boobs were practically bursting out of her top. I know it must be annoying to have men stare at your chest, but don't assume that all guys who look are doing so cause they're perving.", "post_id": "1fpwzn", "comment_id": "cacposs"}, {"question": "Married + kids = Couples counseling. \n\nShe\u2019s lying to you and you\u2019re tabulating oral sex she had before she ever knew you.  Neither of you is in a good space to reason this through without help. ", "comment": "Before I married my wife ended a relationship with her ex in a bad way.  The timing of the break up was bad.  She left him after his dad died.  She says she felt bad for him so she would text him once in a while even invited him to her birthday when we started to date.  She also kept in touch with another guy she dated (had feelings for and gave a BJ to when they dated) in the beginning of our relationship as well.  But that soon ended when I expressed I could not be in relationship with someone who seems to have unfinished business. That same guy got in trouble for getting a Minor drunk a few days later.  She felt bad for him so she ended up calling in a favor from a lawyer (whom she also gave a BJ to but ended it because he was married).  The lawyer help him and I told her again I don't want to be a part of this any more but she soon ended her contact with all 3 men.. So I thought .  Years a couple of years later we got married and had kids. \n\nI later found out she about a year ago she is still in contact with her ex (the bad break up relationship). And recently she started working directly with the lawyer she dated as a law clerk.  I tried not to let it bother me but then I found out she met up with her ex(the bad breakup relationship) and didn't tell me.  I found out because I searched her phone messages about meeting up behind her back and confronted her. At first she said she just wanted to talk to someone because she had problems.  I later repeated what she said and she changed what she said saying she just felt bad for him. She did tell me about it because she said it knew it would hurt me.  She also shared personal info about me to ex that I suspected her of cheating when she is not because she now works for the lawyer she dated. I felt betrayed and my worst fears of what I was not willing to put up with were still there.  She tells me she blames me for ending relationships with her friends (all 3 men).\nWhat even makes things worst is that the timestamps on these messages were at times we would be spending time together alone like watching tv or lying in bed, etc. \n\nI feel totally betrayed what should I do? \n\n\n", "post_id": "9s1ln4", "comment_id": "e8ld13m"}, {"question": "Might just be tiredness. \n\nAny family history of movement disorders?", "comment": "Felt uncoordinated since Monday, May 29th. Its now Thursday, June 1st. Been to two doctors and my physical checked out fine. Im a 21 year old male, about 5'10\" ad 19 who is fairly active about 4-5 times a week. I play soccer at least 2 times a week if not 3 times. In the Northeast region of the US since 2004, not new to the area. Not really a dizzy feeling, just feel like something is off when I walk, mostly fine motor skills like when I text, type, reach for something, or even on Xbox games. I can walk in a straight line and remember everything, know how to do things. Mom and girlfriend think its been stress but no matter how much I relax it doesn't seem to go away. Side note is that is feels good as soon as I wake up(not gone, just better) and worse as the day goes on. Not sure what it is and just want to know if I should worry or not. Like I said, best description I can give is uncoordinated.", "post_id": "6eo70i", "comment_id": "dibug4q"}, {"question": "Programmers are wanted in many countries and I think its a relatively doable skill to learn from a pc.", "comment": "I'm a retail manager in a dying mall and my time here is certainly limited. However, while I'm here and not busy I want to start using my time more efficiently. I have picked up a program to help me learn another language and I am trying to get into programming as well, but I've only started that a few days ago so we'll see how far I can go with that. I'd love to go back to college someday and finish a degree but money is always tight so for now I'm looking to expand my skills as much as possible to help me get into a better job/career path sooner rather than later. \n\nThanks!", "post_id": "b5ce0t", "comment_id": "ejcid2z"}, {"question": "I've had 6 therapists over the course of my life. Of those 6:\n\n- 2 (including my current one) were excellent, truly cared about me, and have really changed my life for the better\n- 2 were nice and also cared about me, but didn't really help much\n- 1 was so-so, helped a little but we never really clicked\n- 1 was primarily a child therapist (I was 18 at the time and my parents got the referral from my old pediatrician), just not a good fit for my issues... plus he would be running behind, start my session late and then try to end on time, thus cheating me of my time\n\nMy boyfriend has also seen about 4-5 therapists. Of those, 2 (including his current one) were really helpful, 1 seemed intimidated by my boyfriend's intelligence and also took notes on his laptop during session which was off-putting, and 1 was a real asshole who minimized his suicidal thoughts! Good therapy is out there, but unfortunately there are bad therapists (as well as therapists who just aren't a good fit) and it can take a while to find the right one. It's almost like dating.", "comment": "I've tried everything. \n\nFirst I went to a psychotherapist who was late for our meeting, showed up stinking of cigarettes, and kept pushing me to talk about my past sexual relationships during our very first session. \n\nNext I went to a recommended psychiatrist who was completely uninterested in my pain. She just took out a notepad, wrote down my symptoms and prescribed me antidepressants and sleeping pills. Even though I told her I was having suicidal thoughts, she prescribed me full strength sleeping pills. I was the one who had to ask her to give me something milder that I couldn't potentially overdose on. \n\nNext I tried a CBT therapist (again highly recommended) who gave me some strategies. Those strategies didn't work for me, but instead of helping me find something that did she just kept pushing me in the same direction. She's also very mercenary. I texted her today that I was on the verge of a depressive episode and she replied \"You can come in tomorrow and my fees have gone up X amount.\" There was no \"how are you\" or \"hope everything's ok\". \n\nWhile I don't mind paying the (very high) fees most therapists charge, I need someone who is genuinely concerned about my wellbeing. Has anyone ever found such a person? Should I just give up altogether? ", "post_id": "7rhbsp", "comment_id": "dsxafen"}, {"question": "It's ok to play a bit to your audience.  If you know certain people won't appreciate dead baby jokes, then don't bust them out in front of them.  It's actually a pretty normal and adaptive way to deal with social situations.   Hell, I can have pretty dark sense of humor, and with some people I do show that.  With other people, I focus more on matching my sense of humor to theirs, and maybe letting it get a little darker, but not much darker than theirs.  It actually shows a pretty good understanding of social skills to be able to do that.  \n\nIf you really want to try out the darker sense of humor, just slowly ramp up the level of it and see how others react.  You never know, that person that you were talking to and had never made a dark joke to, might have been holding back as well.  It's probably a good thing to not dive into it fully with people without testing the waters first.  Your style of joking doesn't make you an asshole.  What makes someone an asshole is using dark humor and put downs with people that don't enjoy it, especially if you know they don't enjoy it.  \n\nAnd really, it's probably best not to worry about it and try to enjoy the different groups that you are with regardless of what joking style they have.  \n", "comment": "I'm a fairly sociable guy and I've come across a problem recently. I've found that when I'm with certain people, I'm either a really nice guy who makes mail my PG13 jokes, or I'm an asshole who makes jokes like \"swiggity swag, die in a fire\" or make abusive parents jokes or something of the like. \n\nI'm pretty sure there's no fix for this, but I'd rather be an asshole who is also an alright guy to hangout with. I think what I'm trying to say is I have a dark sense of humor but I don't want to come off as a complete asshole. Any thoughts on this? I've pondered this over that past couple weeks and wanted to know what you guys thought.", "post_id": "283cn6", "comment_id": "ci798cl"}, {"question": "Cant explain your underlying problems, but your anxiety is clearly escalating. Try www.moodgym.org (computerised CBT - free) as a means to manage your anxiety levels.", "comment": "18/M/180cm/64kg\n\nHello,\nso i have been having these current issues probably for half a year. Otherwise I've been to lots of doctors, since I've had various symptoms my whole life,\neven though nothing really has been diagnosed. I'm seeing a gastroenterologist for some kind of colitis, they can't confirm Crohns or similar since i don't have most of the symptoms. Also I think I'm a hypochondriac.\n\nNow to get to the current stuff. I feel tired and sleepy all the time, no energy for anything. When walking for 10, 15 mins i get weak, tired, and heart rate is sometimes 120 bpm sometimes even 150. Resting heart rate varies around 60-90 bpm. While standing up it gets faster, and i have dizziness, when sitting down, it slows down but beats stronger. On PE, after doing some harder exercise i also get really fast heart rate, trouble breathing, feeling i'm going to faint. Of course, i have been to a cardiologist after that, and the ultrasound is all good. Holter ECG was ok, only 1 pair of pvc which scared me and i still have anxiety about that. I have right bundle branch block, which they say is  nothing. Can the fast heart rate be caused just by poor physical condition? Do i need stress ECG? Now, usually while sitting at the computer, it happened a few times, i get dizzy for a few seconds, feel like going to faint, heart starts racing, shortness of breath, i get scared and i have to take a walk for it to calm down. I realize that it may be a panic attack but i'm usually calm before it happens. When it happens i feel like everything is going wrong and i need to get checked immediately.\nFor the last week or two i have slight pressure in my head, occasionally i get the feeling i'm going to faint for a few seconds and it triggers anxiety. I have poor\nposture so could some of this have to do with the spine? Should i do a head MRI? \nJust to add i have mild tinnitus but with these symptoms it gets louder.\nI've had strong heartbeat for a long time, but since the holter, I've started to measure pulse on my neck constantly. Sometimes i only feel one thump, but\nsometimes i feel 2, like the opening and closing?- (I've read something about water hammer pulse, i'm not sure if that could be it). If the ultrasound was ok, should i just ignore the beats? Also i was pretty calm during the holter, should i do one more and try to be more anxious and do hard exercise? :P For the last few days I've been waking up few times in the night for no apparent reason.\nLast thing, just a while ago I've noticed a vein on my right temple, just where the hair starts. It's not visible but i can feel it and i haven't noticed it before. Should i get it checked? (I always find something to worry about).\nI've done blood tests, i always have neutropenia and lymphocytosis. CRP was higher last time, 0-5 it was 8.5.\nLiver enzymes, creatinine, fibrinogen, LDH isoensymes, ASMA, hsTSH, T3, T4, feritine, TIBC, cortisol - Normal.\nBasically gastroenterologist, immunologist, cardiologist, hematologist didn't find anything of concern.\n\nI know this is a mess but i have so much going on. I don't know if all of this can be caused by anxiety. I'm mostly worried about the occasional\nfast and/or strong pulse and the few second fainting feelings... I just worry about all the diseases and what tests should i get done next. Appreciate any reply.", "post_id": "5veer6", "comment_id": "de1hka0"}, {"question": "Rather than breathing deeply, try breathing slowly and smoothly either counting 5 to 6 beats symmetrically or a shorter inhale period and 5 to 6 beats exhale.   Edit :  each beat about a second long", "comment": "My current method is to draw very deep breaths, which also helps me cool down. Im curious as to there are any other methods to avoid it entirely when getting angry?", "post_id": "7524mp", "comment_id": "do38g8o"}, {"question": "Very weird , definitely red flag. Totally inappropriate to use her influence to sell stuff ! \n\nI am curious what type of license she has, may be a direct violation .", "comment": "I saw a licensed therapist for the first time today and I have doubts about seeing her again, I'd like your unbiased perspective. I am a crisis counselor (unlicensed, we are supervised by a licensed therapist) and feel my work might be impacting my views.\n\nOn my intake I had expressed my feelings of being stuck,being overwhelmed, lacking motivation and wanted to be more assertive and be able to feel better and figure out what I wanted out of life. I've recently been crying at work for 3 days on a row and that is highly abnormal for me - therefore I sought help , because I was concerned this could be depression and want to get a handle on it BEFORE it gets really bad.\n\nThe therapist was nice and personable and had some good insights and questions that made me reflect and be introspective. However, in the middle of the session they pointed me to their life coaching website which she showed me on her computer, and her self-guided program for \"women like me\" and went on to explain for a few minutes why they had it. It seemed interesting, but that is not what I came to a therapist for. I lack motivation, a self-guided program won't give me the accountability I desire from therapy.\n\nWhile I was on her computer, she had her doTerra website on another tab (this is relevant later). If you aren't familiar with doTerra they are an MLM scheme ([r/antimlm](https://www.reddit.com/r/antimlm/)) and are very predatory. I have no issue with essential oil use at all - I have an issue with the company and its tactics.\n\nTherapist continues to state I should make more friends organically, and she happens to host events for women to meet other women in a safe space at catered events she throws, she charges for attendance of course, but she has them every week and the first event is \"Essential oils 101\" and how she is making a huge push into essential oils now, which I'll assume are doTerra.\n\nThat is how we ended the session. She made some great points, but I cannot help but feel like a cash grab for some reason. As a crisis counselor we do not even suggest support groups in the first sessions because we want to make sure people are at a mental state to do it. I don't see how a Essential Oils event will help me, if it was a skill building thing related to my issues, great! this does not seem like it.\n\nAm I biased because of my career? or?", "post_id": "fayd68", "comment_id": "fj187q8"}, {"question": "I felt so much better off the pill. I had some increased shedding but a good volume if not all grew back. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "a9zz9k", "comment_id": "ecocs1g"}, {"question": "I'm a therapist.  I've struggled with ADHD seemingly since I was a teenager but was never diagnosed or medicated until a little over a year ago (I'm 32 now).  I take 10mg Adderall twice a day.  Once with breakfast and once with lunch.  \n\n\nFor about the first week of taking it I did feel very slightly \"high\" as I was adjusting to it.  Other than it being a stimulant, I think part of feeling good, confident, sociable is that for us folks with ADHD, it's really going to help kill a lot of your stress and anxiety that you're just used to walking around with all the time.  \n\n\nFor instance, even on good happy days prior to being medicated, my mind was still always racing.  I used to tell folks that half the time my inner monologue seemed like one of those fast talking auctioneers.  Whether I was happy or not, that shit is exhausting.  I never realized just how exhausting because it was just \"my normal\" for as far back as I could remember.  Not having to deal with that all the time helps me feel good, more confident, sociable, and yes.... excited to be alive now that I don't have to deal with all the struggles I've dealt with regarding ADHD as much.  \n\n\nI don't know how long you've been taking it, but for me, after a few months I got used to it.  I still feel great but it doesn't feel like \"Oh....yep....that's definitely gotta be the meds.\"  It feels more like \"Okay.... this is how people without ADHD feel.  Cool.\"\n\n\nI don't take my meds on most weekends because anyone taking them can build up a  tolerance.  I don't want to have to take any more than I am now to get the same effect.  When I don't take them, I go back to being pretty scattered on the weekend, but if I don't have any major responsibilities, I'm okay with that.  \n\n\nThere is a crash when the meds start to wear off, especially when you're not taking XR.  Right before I'm due for my second dose or when that's wearing off and I'm on my way home, often I'll feel a little extra anxious and up tight.  It usually only lasts about an hour before I calm down.  It's just something I've gotten used to and figure is well worth it for 8-9 hours of being able to function like a \"normal human\" during the day.    ", "comment": "Hey, guys! \n\nNew to everything, made this account in a bit of a panic so that I could get some opinions. Next doctor\u2019s appointment is a month away so I\u2019m a little desperate. \n\nAnywho, I was prescribed 20mg of Adderall XR a few months ago (this was after a lengthy process of confirming that I had ADHD, and that this medicine was the correct next move to treat it) and the results have been really great. I take it, and about an hour later I feel quite extraordinary; focused, confident, sociable, and in a way very excited to be alive. It\u2019s a sort of contentment I have never felt before. Naturally, this has me worried. \n\nI can\u2019t stop wondering if it\u2019s working too well, or that I\u2019m getting too much of the medicine and what I\u2019m feeling isn\u2019t consistency or focus, but euphoria. I keep wondering if it\u2019s somehow getting me \u2018high\u2019 (I\u2019ve always been a total dork and have never used any drugs, and also barely ever drink so I don\u2019t have a great frame of reference). \n\nSometimes at the mid point of the day I\u2019ll start to sink a little, and the excitement of being alright with wear off. It never returns to the way it was before the medicine, but there are declines and slumps. I\u2019ve become so worried about those slumps that I have started to obsess over them while I\u2019m still feeling great, and I think that\u2019s forcing me into a slump like some kind of neurotic self-fulfilling prophecy. \n\nIs this even possible? Is my medicine getting me high? Am I crashing?\n\nIs this all just me being anxious and sabotaging myself?\n\nI\u2019d love to know if anyone else goes through this, and if so, how I can stop worrying about the slump so much that it kills the focus. \n\nThanks in advance!", "post_id": "aqyhzo", "comment_id": "egjj5uu"}, {"question": "Tolerance is a big area of study. The quick version is that tolerance isn't one thing but multiple mechanisms. Not all drugs produce tolerance, or at least not to a clinically meaningful extent. For those that do, there can be the phenomenon of cross-tolerance, where tolerance to one drug produces tolerance to another. As you note, that's more likely to occur within a drug class, but it's not necessarily completely equal, and it can affect drugs outside the class.\n\nBenzodiazepines do produce cross-tolerance, so if you're tolerant to Klonopin you're likely to be significantly, but possibly not equally, tolerant to e.g. diazepam (Valium). Opioids similarly. Yes, tolerance decreases with time, and that's actually something that often causes problems with opioid addiction, because what was a safe dose to a heavy user can become a lethal dose after even a fairly short time without using.", "comment": "An example would be that I've been taking 3mg of klonopin for 3 years (weaning off) and it has no noticeable effect on me anymore. Have I developed a tolerance to all benzodiazepines or just klonopin (I'm switching to gabapentin so I'm not looking to bounce from benzo to benzo)? I've been taking norco for almost a year now. Have I developed a tolerance to all opioids or just the norco? Do tolerances go away with time? Example being if I had to undergo an uncomfortable medical procedure two years from my last klonopin, will the benzodiazepine they give me have a reduced effect? \n\nLast question: do you develop tolerances to all medications? It's never been a concern with my antipsychotics or mood stabilizer.\n\nThis information is not important to the post, but I have to include it or this will be removed again.\n\nAge: 29, height: 6'2\", weight: 197lbs, have not smoked in 4 months, but did on and off for 13 years.", "post_id": "bldfxu", "comment_id": "emnm2mf"}, {"question": "Pantoprazole \\(Protonix\\) is one of the least drug\\-drug interactive of the proton pump inhibitors, so that would probably be my first recommendation. The H2 blockers like ranitidine \\(Zantac\\) are also mostly fine, but tend to lose effectiveness over time in a way PPIs don't.", "comment": "* 27\n* Caucasian Male\n* 5'10\"\n* 230 lbs\n* Currently Taking: 20mg Lexapro, Flonase\n\nI understand some heartburn meds could interfere with Lexapro metabolism (e.g. Prilosec). What kind of OTC meds can I take safely? \n\nI'm currently losing weight at about 2lb/week and doing all the other things to reduce heartburn but would like additional relief in the interim.", "post_id": "8iq0hz", "comment_id": "dytqeur"}, {"question": "Female here, recently marked 3 years without smoking. Feel free to message me anytime. It can be hard to find us (on here and IRL) but we are around.", "comment": "It seems like a lot of the people in this group are males.  To be honest, I don't even really know any girls who smoke heavily or even remotely close to the degree that I have been smoking.  I stumbled upon this group today while looking for \"sober meditations\" online.  I am on day 1 for the 38498238402th time.  I feel so alone.  Everyone I know smokes, no one is very supportive of me not smoking, my husband smokes daily and has no desire to change although he is supportive of me stopping.  Supportive in the sense that he says \"do what makes you feel better\" but that's about it.  I don't truly feel supported when he is lighting up next to me and offering it to me constantly when I have told him I would like to stop because I eventually give in.  I don't expect people to baby me through this but it'd be nice to not have it thrown in my face for the first few weeks when it is really hard adjusting to this new way of life after being a daily user for 10 years.\n\nI am just looking for some people to connect with.  Maybe we could message each other frequently, check in, provide support, talk through what we are experiencing and going through.  Preferably other females.  I'm a 27 year old female who started smoking when she was 14 and has been using all day, everyday for the past 10 years.  It's robbed me of the life I know I am meant to live and I want to take back control and begin the process of creating the life I am meant to live and to stop wasting my potential.", "post_id": "34wazc", "comment_id": "cqyucel"}, {"question": "The biology of psychiatric disorders, including ADHD, isn\u2019t well understood. \u201cChemical imbalance\u201d is definitely a gross oversimplification when it isn\u2019t outright wrong.\n\nPerhaps a useful question is what helps. Even if ADHD isn\u2019t caused by a problem with dopamine or norepinephrine signaling, medications that increase those reduce ADHD symptoms.", "comment": "Hello psychiatrist of the world, I\u2019m an 18 year old child suffering from ADHD, depression and anxiety. To be quite honest my life is spiralling downwards to suicide. However I have reached out to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. I was tested and was told that I definitely have ADHD. I was wondering the causes of ADHD and there is a lot of conflict on what the causes are, so my question to you is that is ADHD really caused due to a chemical imbalance in the brain? \n( please try to answer as simply as possible as I am not the most knowledgeable or understanding at the moment) and please answer?", "post_id": "cjc3dy", "comment_id": "evcf5lo"}, {"question": "Have you thought about seeing a counselor? A counselor could probably help you understand better what you're feeling and help give you strategies for dealing with it and getting to a happy place.", "comment": "I don't know what's wrong with me. No matter what I try to do I can't make new friends, I can't get girls, and I just don't fit in anywhere. I've even started to doubt my relations with my best friend. Am I just a narcissist? Can it be that I'm just so unpleasant to be around that no one can find a positive trait they can like? I'm probably being too broad, but, I just feel like shit. I've thought about killing myself, but I don't have the courage to do it. Everytime I really think about doing it, I just pussy out. I don't get any farther than a thought, and it's made me think that I like to be pitied, even to the point to were I threaten *myself* with suicide. Can anyone help me? Do I need to be more specific? ", "post_id": "xc2yo", "comment_id": "c5llm79"}, {"question": "Need to do this.", "comment": "I thought Ritalin wasn't for me until I completely cut out caffeine and it was revolutionary. It kicked in with no anxiety and that was the only thing that I changed.\n\nEdit: I include herbal stimulants like ginseng in this too. Stop all stimulants for a week and see what happens. It\u2019s tough but worth it.", "post_id": "c4x59f", "comment_id": "erzrph2"}, {"question": "Note: I am speaking from a very US-centric point of view. Note also that I am not a lawyer; you may choose to consult with a lawyer to ensure accuracy and info that is specific to your state laws. I am explaining to the best of my understanding but cannot promise that I am not mistaken about anything. \n\n>My therapist told me that \"official\" diagnosis that go on medical records are only if you got the official diagnosis at a hospital or a psychiatrist and not if you just went to a private practice therapist.\n\nThis is almost certainly accurate. You do have a medical record file; but there is no reason your therapist would (or could) send any information to your medical doctor unless you signed a release of information and asked him to. Sometimes that makes sense-- e.g. if you are thinking about meds, your therapist has a lot of info that can be helpful to a prescriber. \n\n>But I don't know what all the scary stuff and scenarios I read on the internet were talking about?\n\nYour therapist does keep progress notes and in a *nightmare* child custody/divorce situation, the other parent could try to get the court to subpoena the therapist's progress notes (even if they are not otherwise a part of your medical record). A subpoena is one of the situations when a therapist can be compelled to break confidentiality. The order would have to be from the court and they would have to provide some sort of compelling evidence that you were a danger to your children (it is not enough for your partner/their lawyer to think this). And then, of course, the notes would have to agree with that assessment. Most therapists are quite cautious with their progress notes. The standard I have been taught was, \"You would be comfortable reading the notes aloud in court in front of your client and their mother.\" Having a mental health diagnosis is not (in theory) enough to impact custody; you would need evidence that you are not a fit caretaker. This is very uncommon in general. (For reference, I'm currently at a child/family clinic with 10-12 therapists and one record has been subpoenaed a single time in the last 10 years). But this is probably the scary stuff you are reading.\n\nIf this is a concern, I would ask your therapist about what efforts they take to protect clients related to subpoenas. \n\n>My therapist also put in a bunch of \"rule-out\" diagnosis as well, and I don't know what those are either.\n\nA rule out means they ruled it out; they are confident you do NOT have that diagnosis. Most diagnoses have other diagnoses that they recommend clinicians rule out. It's totally fine if some of those are clearly not a fit for your situation! They are not supposed to be a fit. \n\n>like if 10 years from now I am in some kind of situation where I need access to them\n\nJust a note that if you are anticipating needing your records in 10 years, you should find an alternative way to preserve them. Unless state law requires it, your therapist is likely to eliminate these records before 10 years.", "comment": "I am really confused about the Mental Health Record. I keep googling stuff about how they record your diagnosis somewhere on a permanent record, especially if you use insurance and that they never come off. I read that in the future if you have a problem like child custody or adoption or something like that, they will look at it even if the diagnosis is old. But I am just really confused because Idk what an official Mental Health Record even is. I know my therapist keeps his notes and records and sends the codes to the insurance company, but I don't know where they keep the \"official, permanent record\" that has to be presented if something should happen in the future (like if 10 years from now I am in some kind of situation where I need access to them).\n\nMy therapist told me that \"official\" diagnosis that go on medical records are only if you got the official diagnosis at a hospital or a psychiatrist and not if you just went to a private practice therapist. he said that only he and I have access to my records and they are not meant for any general use. But I don't know what all the scary stuff and scenarios I read on the internet were talking about?\n\nMy therapist also put in a bunch of \"rule-out\" diagnosis as well, and I don't know what those are either. Some of them seemed rather off and I asked him about it and he said that they were rule-outs and didn't mean anything but he is just required to put in all the possibilities. This stuff is making me anxious cause I don't get what this is about? I don't want to have a permanent label that will make things harder for me in the future? I don't even know if the stuff I read was common. ", "post_id": "hjsn3d", "comment_id": "fwq8u1f"}, {"question": "You'd just need to see a GP/PCP, for a set of routine blood tests and a couple of others like prolactin levels.", "comment": "I am male, 26 years old and Im currently skinny fat but before I was really fat.\nI just want to ask how do I confirm if my man boobs is due to me being fat before or because I have gynecomastia? Is there a way to confirm it at home?\n\nIf not, Im open to consulting a doctor but Im not sure what type of doctor should I go to? Internal Medicine? Cosmetic surgeon?\n\nPlease help", "post_id": "6hdqib", "comment_id": "diy84zq"}, {"question": "Calm down and butt out.\n\nBecause you depend on her so much, the stakes will seem very high to you right now, but she told you that she is all right and that you should forget it. \n\nPeople are allowed to be frustrated. Don't compound her frustration by freaking out about this. \n\nBUTT OUT. ", "comment": "I am 17M, she is 17F. She is my best friend, my only friend.... But I also have a crush on her. I really like her... Well, that's all bullcrap, as it isn't related to my concerns rn,\nSo, as I said, we are best friends.. We've been texting each other ovrr on social media since 4-5 months nearly, on a daily basis. \nWe became friends after we started hanging out frequently with each other, in the library. We started talking about books, and things just went well from there. I was a nervous, antisocial wreck, who suffered from depression, and needless to say, I didn't like talking to anyone. I had tried to explain my depression to a person who I considered a friend, almost a brother, but he took it lightly. That's when she came into my life. She was just different. She didn't judge me, she helped me. She would always listen to me, and just help me find a way out. It is mainly because of her, that I have kinda gotten out of my depression. I owe her a lot.\nWell, so getting onto the topic... We have our vacations right now, so I can't meet her. But, as usual, we have been texting each other. We always tell each other stories, funny ones, secrets and what not. But, since the last couple of days, her responses have been getting shorter, and more confined to a single sentence or two. I fucked up yesterday.. I replied to one of her texts in a rude manner... I realized that, and apologized instantly. She later said that she wasn't angry at me, and understood what compelled me to text her like that. She said there was something which was frustrating her, and she wasnt much happy about it. I asked her to just tell me if there's anything wrong, or if I could do anything. I even told her that if she isnt comfortable sharing it with me, then she could talk to her friends, or her mom... But she just replied that she is alright, and asked me to forget it. Thing is, that I sense there is something wrong, and she isn't telling me what. I really wanna help her, after all she has done for me. But I just can't figure out a way to do that. I really like her, but I feel helpless atm. Please, tell me what to do.\n\n**TL;DR** \nBest friend/crush not talking to me much--- Asked her what's wrong ---- said she was frustrated with something --- won't tell me what--- really wanna help her", "post_id": "6bv7ff", "comment_id": "dhpr4n3"}, {"question": "Hi! I had Mirena inserted almost three years ago. I was not n\\* at all! It did hurt, though, and I was sore for the rest of the day, so I recommend taking some pain medication before hand and if you are able, take it easy for the rest of the day!", "comment": "I haven\u2019t posted here in a while, which I guess is a good thing, but I think I\u2019m getting an IUD this week. I have POTS syndrome, which makes my periods 10x worse with lots of n* and missing work/school. I am very very very worried I will v* during or after the insertion, and reading stories on reddit isn\u2019t helping. Any one here have any experience or advice? \nThanks, KG \u2764\ufe0f\n\nUPDATE: I got it!! I took 8mg of zofran and 1000mg of tylenol beforehand, and I felt like a sharp period cramp during the sounding, but that was it!! I feel SO ACCOMPLISHED!!!", "post_id": "drrz0m", "comment_id": "f6mjhhd"}, {"question": "be direct. find out. make a decision.", "comment": "My girl and I were going to hang out together on Friday. She told me she had to babysit for a family and instead she went out with friends saying the other didn't need here. I asked how it went and she said it was a total of 10+ people. And she had fun but got in a little heated situation (non-romantic). And when I asked her who it was she took way to long to say his name(like she made up a name). I've seen her text him. I've seen him send her too many messages on Xbox. And idk what to think. I have a bad feeling she's keeping something from me. And I don't know what to do or how to ask. She's being distant with me....", "post_id": "5on459", "comment_id": "dckkvdk"}, {"question": "Sorry you're going through this.  I certainly know how stressful grad school can be. It sounds like you've got an awful lot going on.  I'm glad to hear that you're considering cutting down on your work hours.  I'm not sure what kind of program you're in, if you'll have to do internships or anything like that, but it would be hard for most people to juggle everything successfully.  \n\nIt may be helpful to take some time to prioritize your priorities.  You only have so much energy and so much time.  You may not be able to take care of everything all at once.  \n\nAlways remember that the majority of things in your life that are stressing you out can be changed (albeit with some consequences)\n\nGrad school too much for you right now?  Quit or put it off for another time.  \n\nYou don't like your job?  Find a new one!\n\nNothing feels good?  Get out there and try some new things.  \n\nI know some of these things sound easier said than done, but honestly that's just your depression talking.  There as simple as having a positive thought for one second and acting on it.  I generally don't recommend such rash decisions and I'm not recommending you necessarily do these things now, but knowing that you could at any given moment may be helpful in not feeling so trapped.  Best of luck!\n\nI a Licensed Professional Counselor working out of Philadelphia, PA, United States.  I write a blog that tackles various general issues pertaining to psychology and mental health.  Due to some reader's requests, I plan on beginning a Question and Answer segment which I will post either once or twice a month depending on how many questions I receive (along with my weekly general topic posts).  \n\nPlease let me know if you would like to participate.  Hopefully I will be able to help you and your question will shed some light on an issue that may help others going through something similar!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://thewebshrink.com/ask-web-shrink/)\n", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "6woiz8", "comment_id": "dm9nmwy"}, {"question": "You might also need a slightly higher dose of synthroid than you would otherwise if you are on birth control because birth control will increase your levels of SHBG, which will bind up the T4 as well.", "comment": "I was diagnosed with PCOS and hypothyroidism by my endocrinologist back in 2010. This was years after all my doctors telling me that I am fine and healthy. The year before I had gained 60lbs inexplicably in a matter of 3 months. Anyways, I'm not here to talk about my diagnosis journey...\n\n\nI was prescribed metformin and synthroid and took the pills like instructed. After about a year I decided 'fuck this' and stopped taking the pills. I felt like it wasn't doing anything for me. I didn't like having to take all those pills. I was traveling a lot. Etc. \n\n\nIn 2012, after a 7yr relationship breakup, I started working out hardcore and eating \"healthy.\" I lost about 70lbs and my period was normal!\n\n\nNow it's 2015. I'm engaged and I gained a lot of weight this past year (about 60lbs?). I was diagnosed last month with severe sleep apnea and use a CPAP now, which has helped my energy levels. My fiance and I ate the same this past year together and I gained 60lbs while he gained like maybe 10lbs. He's 6'6\" and slender and I'm a 5'6\" pumpkin at this point. \n\n\nI've voiced my concern about my weight gain to my fiance, and he's so sweet he's just like, \"you're beautiful.\" And that's fine but I don't feel beautiful and I want to change that for myself. He went on a paleo/clean-eating lifestyle change with me around January. It seemed to be helping but then we moved in March and I got a new job and we started eating conveniently. When I say that I don't mean we each a bunch of a junk because we don't. We just don't do paleo anymore. \n\n\nDo you think it's a good idea to go back to an endocrinologist and get back on medication? Is there value in sticking with the pills? (I hate putting medication into my body. I feel like it's unnatural.) Should I focus on a lifestyle change instead? Go back to Paleo? Try Keto? Is it a combo of both? The thing is we're hoping to get pregnant one day. I'd like that to happen before I turn 28 but I want to get my weight down and be healthier first. I also don't know which doctor to go to. If anyone is in Houston, please let me know if you know any good endocrinologists. ", "post_id": "3ic6xx", "comment_id": "cuzoyok"}, {"question": "Definitely go to a doctor. She will take a menstrual history and ask about other symptoms and go from there. She might also take some labs to make sure everything's okay. Or she might watch and wait s few more cycles. Either way, see your doctor. ", "comment": "I didn't have a period for about 18 months give or take (except for the odd 1 or 2 that were so light I wouldn't even call them periods). For the past 3 months they have been regular as clockwork proper periods; this month though I have bled for not even a whole day (I only noticed I was bleeding when I went to the bathroom) this has happened 3 times so far this month or so with about a week between each time. Has this happened to anyone else or should I be concerned and go to the doctor?", "post_id": "3stags", "comment_id": "cx6hsql"}, {"question": "Best way to be taken seriously as an adult is to act like one.  Next time he does it, be as calm as you can, straight forward, definitely not joking and summarize what you've said on here into a few sentences.  \n\n\"Hey ____________.  Please don't do that any more.  I find it patronizing and would appreciate if you'd stop it.\"  That's all.  Short and sweet.  No need to have a long conversation about it or explain yourself past that.  \n\n\nIn whatever language you're most comfortable in, so long as you can remain calm, not yell, but not joke, you'll neither come off as childish or \"bitchy\".  \n\n\nFrom the sounds of it though, unless I'm completely misreading the situation as you describe it, it sounds more like that's his weird way of trying to flirt with you.  Possibly be careful of that.  Given that he's your supervisor that might create a worse problem down the road.", "comment": "Hi all.  I'd love any help on a social issue I'm having at work at the moment...\n\nI  have a new guy in my team who I guess is sort of my manager, who I feel doesn't take me seriously, despite the fact I'm pretty senior, and knowledgable about the area we're working in.\n\nThe most obvious symptom of  this: a few times after I've said something, he's said 'aww' at me like  I'm a cat or something. One of those times was when I was pretty pissed off and complaining to my current manager about the state of the project, so it was particularly annoying to be 'aww'ed at.  He's also done it recently when I said I was cold and a couple of other times that  I don't remember as specifically.\n\nI know  this is a small thing, but I think it's part of him generally not  taking me seriously.  I'm not really sure why he does this... I'm 28, so  not exactly a baby, but I've been told I look young for my age \\(I've never had a baby face, though\\).  I dress like everyone else at the office \\(jeans and  shirts normally, nothing cutesy... if anything more masculine than  average\\), and I don't have a cutesy voice or anything \\(I think??\\), so I  don't think it's something I can fix with my self\\-presentation \\(plus I honestly feel like I shouldn't have to\\).\n\nHow can I deal with  this when he does it next?  My instinct is to say 'please don't aww at  me' very abruptly, but realistically that's not going to help our already awkward relationship, and I need to get on with him, really.  Is  there a way I can jokily reply in a way that conveys that I find this  patronising?  I really don't think having a conversation about it will  help, since I think having that conversation would itself reinforce his  view as me as like a young, inexperienced little girl.\n\nIt's  making me really angry and I don't know how to deal with it.  I  mentioned my general issue with him not taking me seriously to my  current manager and told him I need him to support my viewpoint and  agree with me in front of the new guy where possible, but I don't think  he really gets it and he hasn't really done that since he agreed to.\n\ntl;dr  how can I tell my senior co\\-worker to stop saying 'aww' after I say  things in a way that won't just make me seem like a bitch?", "post_id": "8cyvec", "comment_id": "dxj44id"}, {"question": "Not to force AA on you, but have you been working the steps? Just going to meetings is not the idea behind the program. If you expect to see results from just going to meetings, I wouldn't bet on it. Message me if you'd like some specifics.", "comment": "I found an AA meeting close to the house next Tuesday. I obviously am not going to be able to do this on my own or with just the help of this Subreddit (It's not you, it's me!). I've been pretty resistant to AA but at this point I think it's time to start looking at different options. \n\nI think it's time to start looking at the very real possibility that maybe I'm resistant to AA - not because they're all religious and stuff -  but because it will actually inspire a real change and commitment instead of just talking about it all the time.\n\nI don't know.\n\nHelp?", "post_id": "1il54k", "comment_id": "cb5iqwm"}, {"question": "I am nontheistic myself, so I will often say mantras or affirmations as a way to direct my mind towards the positive, as it often strays into the negative when left to wander unsupervised, haha. Sometimes I will just talk as a way to get something off of my chest. Maybe something out there is listening, maybe not. I tend to think not but I've found i get a good result from it all the same, and as time has gone by whether or not something is listening has gotten less and less important to me.", "comment": "Hi there, I'm demonenergydrink and I'm an alcoholic.\nAn agnostic one. Quite new to the 12 steps but going to meetings everyday and doing heaps of reading. I have done a lot of research and talking with fellow AA people but I have one question -\nIf my newly discovered higher power is going to be AA and other people as a whole (as a starting point for my higher power concept), then who should I pray to?\nAnd how would I phrase such a \"prayer\"? I have no problem using the word God in place of higher power.\nAny advice or thoughts appreciated.\nThanks for your support", "post_id": "6ne5wy", "comment_id": "dk8x54h"}, {"question": "That is very interesting and thanks for sharing. Hyperfocus can seem like that but it also depends on how it is applied and channeled. it sounds like he is saying that you can only hyperfocus on something when you should be doing something else. I do not find that to always be the case. For example, when I am working on a paper and become hyperfocused I can work on that for hours. But...thanks for the encouragement and motivating words Dr. Barkley! ", "comment": "I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Barkley's lectures\nhttps://youtu.be/Li_tcua0AJI?t=1338\n\n_There is also another popular phrase in the adults with ADHD trade books: \"Adults with ADHD are good at hyperfocusing.\" This too is mythology. Hyperfocusing is actually perseveration. You are unable to interrupt what you are doing when you should have shifted to doing something else. It is like the child who continues to play the video game long after they should have been getting dressed for school. You want to call that hyperfocusing that's fine, but it's a classic sign of a frontal lobe injury <inaudible> you should have stopped what you're doing, and you didn't. There are other more important goals to achieve and you ignored them. This is no gift. It is in fact a symptom of this disorder\"_\n\n\n\n\nWhatever you call it, this injury/gift has been responsible for every single achievement in my life!", "post_id": "629dxn", "comment_id": "dfku2xb"}, {"question": "Yep!!\n\nMade a post about this the other day.\n\nI ended up watching reality tv and getting sucked in hahaha. \n\nToday I'm on Reddit to combat it. I need a new interesting book... Non fiction...", "comment": "Am not interested in doing anything. Wondering why I am even born. \n\nEven things I like most isn\u2019t entertaining anymore. \n\nI get into these kinda situation often but this lockdown is making it worse \ud83d\ude16", "post_id": "g7q6gz", "comment_id": "foj6s1c"}, {"question": "Thw best thing you can do is ask the therapist about limits of confidentiality. \n\nExactly what can be shared varies by country,  state/region and by agency.  A school counselor on reddit recently posted that he was required by his employer to report students who used substances on campus.  This is very unusual,  but part of his agency rules .\n\nIn general , confidentiality is only broken if someone is being actively abused or in danger of hurting themselves or others .", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "gg9r6r", "comment_id": "fq0j4ah"}, {"question": "Stop talking to her. Move on with your life. ", "comment": "My ex just dumped me because she couldn't handle a relationship. She then proceeds to hate me for doing nothing wrong, unless you count trying to change her mind as a reason to hate me. She won't talk to me and this makes me feel like it is my fault. Any thoughts?", "post_id": "6a4zsk", "comment_id": "dhbppo5"}, {"question": "I'd say it sounds like your fear of being judged as not masculine enough is probably getting in your way more than anything.  Thing that sucks with forming relationships whether they be platonic or romantic there is such a thing as wanting it too much.  If you fear rejection, you'll act in ways that aren't as confident and authentic and will generally be a turn off for people.  \n\nFigure out who you are, what you're into, what you like doing, and talking about.  Don't try to change yourself to make friends but seek out people who are compatible with you.  If you like yourself enough, you'll cherish the people who like you for who you are and not give a shit about people who don't like or accept you for who you are.   \n\n\nGuys like other things than sports ya know.  Nothing wrong with having interests that are stereotypically masculine, feminine, or neutral no matter your gender.  Most people do.  Find some guys whose interests match up with your own or see if any of your football buddies have another shared interest you have.  Doesn't necessarily have to be a stereotypically macho thing.\n\n", "comment": "So, I'm 29 year old male and as I recently finally started to dust my social skills, I realised I'm not really good with talking to guys around my age. Although I do have a bunch of male friends I keep contact with via internet, I hang out almost exclusively with girls on a daily basis. I have no problem talking to them, I even managed to pick one up recently, yet when it comes to guys, I somehow feel intimidated. I do workout and I'm confident when it's just me and the dumbbels, I could keep conversations on football for hours on end, and I'm quite vocal on the pitch whilst being not too shitty of a player, but I somehow can't get that male connection. I'm afraid I just forgot how to get bros since college. Or is being not masculine enough a problem? How do I fix that?", "post_id": "8endwi", "comment_id": "dxwn8gp"}, {"question": "First, any theory could be true. The challenge is testing it.\n\nI personally think much of your theory could be true, but I generally don't think in terms of neurons when it comes to borderline personality disorder, because I prefer to approach it from the psychoanalytic perspective. \n\nI hope this process helps/helped you in some way.", "comment": "Hi, I have Quiet BPD, and I\u2019ve heard a lot about the disorder. But i think I put together a pretty good puzzle here, if you\u2019re willing to hear me out.\n\nNote: the terminology is going to be shaky, and I\u2019m anxious about this post so it\u2019s going to be a bit babbly.\n\nMany people with borderline have had scans showing that our brains often have overactive neurotransmitters that produce emotion and the part of our brains that dampens emotion is under-active.\n\nThis is often coupled with an abusive childhood, or other stressful situations like bullying, divorce, remarrying, or any sort of \u2018adult stress\u2019 in that happens early in life.\n\nA child\u2019s brain isn\u2019t developed enough to handle this stress. If AP child psych taught me anything, it was that. Heh.\n\nSo my idea is, that sometimes the part of the brain that doles out emotions becomes overworked at a too young age, or at a particular time in brain development. This floods a child\u2019s \u2018emotional breaks\u2019 and as a result the part of the brain that stops the negative emotions wears down to the point where it just doesn\u2019t work the same.\n\nIf the stress is continued, then the brain learns to continually release neurotransmitters, now, mostly uninhibited.\n\nSo you end up with an overactive part of the brain that stirs up emotions and an underachieve part of the brain that stops it.\n\nYou can live with this if this wear down and ramp up isn\u2019t too bad, or if your life isn\u2019t too stressful.\n\nBut often, kids who have this \u2018emotional break\u2019 let\u2019s call it. are also predisposed to mental illnesses. If a mental illness sets in later in life, that can once again flood the damaged brain to the point where it becomes a much larger issue; borderline. The brain already can\u2019t handle emotion well, but you throw bipolar or depression or even just a stressful relationship or family death into the mix and things get worse. \n\nThis could explain why all kids who were abused don\u2019t become borderline. They never hit that breaking point. Maybe their brain just wasn\u2019t structured that way, or maybe the abuse didn\u2019t take place at some critical development point.\n\nIt can also explain why some kids who weren\u2019t abused become borderline. Something else in life hit that point for them, or perhaps they were born with that emotional brake already in place. Perhaps the stress or trauma effected a parent, and the trauma was passed down through genetics. Or perhaps this trauma happened before the child could remember it. Maybe it could be something as simple as a divorce. Or parents fighting. Anything that causes too much stress for a young child to handle. This could also happen when the child is older as well, although you would expect the emotional break to be more severe to occur in an older brain.\n\nMy theory is sloppy, and I clearly don\u2019t have the right terminology or degrees, but I think I\u2019m onto something.\n\nHow plausible does it sound?\n\nAlso, if I\u2019m definitely wrong, please tell me why. I won\u2019t get upset.", "post_id": "danrci", "comment_id": "f1rrp6i"}, {"question": "Wow, I just went and checked it out too.  \n\nI remember the times (not that long ago tbh) when I personified the attitude I saw over there.  It's a sort of anguished braggadocio.  Now, when I look at those pictures, I see a bunch of cries for help.", "comment": "I'm not trying to be critical of anyone's journey, but after perusing the feed in there, it seems like a lot of those posters should be here instead. Actually made me kind of sad to look at. IWNDWYT.", "post_id": "dhqnvl", "comment_id": "f3prw60"}, {"question": "I have no issue with soy.", "comment": "Does anyone know if soy will aggravate PCOS symptoms? I keep finding contradicting info online & my doctor is useless. I follow a vegan diet so I eat soy almost everyday", "post_id": "4gtcoa", "comment_id": "d2kmb5r"}, {"question": "Gym. Meetup.com", "comment": "It's been just over a week since we broke up...I miss him but know that it was the right thing to do. But now I get bored and want to call him, even though it's not fair since he is having a harder time dealing with the breakup. What can I do to stop thinking about it? Thanks reddit :)'\nEDIT: 23F/30M", "post_id": "gu18d", "comment_id": "c1qb7x2"}, {"question": "he is an asshole and an abuser,  ditch him.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for maybe two months. We went out with his family to see a movie at a dine in movie theater and I paid for them since it was my first time meeting them I wanted to make a good first impression. Afterward I had to go home as I recently moved back in with my parents for extenuating circumstances. I told him this once we got home and he said \"no you're not going home, you're staying here\" and I told him I couldn't to which he responded \"I'm sorry I didn't realize I was dating a high schooler\" I brushed it off because he had a few drinks. Before I call my uber home he asks if we can have sex before I leave, I agree. The position we were in was hurting me and I told him that it was and he said \"suck it up pussy\" and I replied by telling him that he was actually hurting me, so he reluctantly stopped. I got up to put my clothes on and he threw my shirt at me. I told him he made me mad before I left and he said \"are we playing games? Because I'll win\" and I told him no I don't play games... this was the text conversation that transpired. I did not fabricate any of this story and I'm frankly pretty hurt by the situation and I'm not sure how to even respond. I've never dated someone who reacts to problems like this.      https://imgur.com/a/063H9", "post_id": "5qn81o", "comment_id": "dd0ncwo"}, {"question": "I go to two zoom meetings a day, and I\u2019m sober 41 years. Not drinking today is the most important thing that I\u2019ll ever do. If I were to drink, I\u2019d be risking turning into a very destructive person. I\u2019d hurt myself and everyone I know. Because I\u2019m an alcoholic not drinking is a very serious matter. I accept that I need help to maintain my sobriety. The good news is the effort to work the program yields benefits beyond abstinence. Read AA\u2019 promises.", "comment": "  \ntl;dr My life is upside down, I'm afraid I'm going to relapse, and I have forgotten why I got sober in the first place. \n\nDue to covid19, my life has changed drastically. In a short three months I had to leave my independent life at a UC, lost a job with the university, got out of a relationship, moved back in with my parents, started taking care of my younger siblings, and basically lost all ability to see my friends. Initially my anxiety about everything was so bad that I got prescribed Ativan, which I used maybe once a week. This may have triggered some relapse behavior.  \n\n\nRecently, I've been thinking about smoking cigarettes again and drinking. I have never in my life been sober for this long but because the world seems to be crashing around me, it doesn't seem worth much if that makes sense. I have been passively suicidal for awhile so it makes sense that I feel this way. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I think I needed to write this out. Thanks for hearing me. Advice is welcome.", "post_id": "gittfw", "comment_id": "fqhidhv"}, {"question": "I would explore the feelings of why you took it away deeper.  Then I would sit down with her and explain it and talk it out.  If it works out, even better. ", "comment": "I need help... I was with my girlfriend of over 1 year and she asked for my phone to look at a picture. After she looked at my picture, she started scrolling through the phone and I quickly grabbed the phone away from her without thinking. Her face immediately dropped and she asked me what is on my phone. She asked for phone back and I kept taking it immediately 3 more times like a jerk. To be clear, there is nothing detrimental to my relationship on my phone. There are no pictures of other women or texts with anyone that she does not know. There are no secrets. I was nervous because nobody has ever looked through my phone before and I instinctively grabbed it. I tried having her look at the phone a few minutes later when she clearly can see I did not access it but she would not do so. Today she is still upset and won't see me. What should I do? I don't want to lose my relationship because of this.", "post_id": "48nkqx", "comment_id": "d0l4f8g"}, {"question": "I'm a little late to your thread here OP, but feel free to PM me whenever you'd like to chat. :)", "comment": "Thank you.", "post_id": "2ec631", "comment_id": "ck0kyok"}, {"question": "A psychologist (and some psychiatrists and some pediatricians) can do a full assessment with testing for ADHD diagnostics. Prescribers (psychiatrists, nurse practioners, other physicians) can prescribe.", "comment": "Would they also be able to diagnose other things like a learning disability or give me an aptitude test?", "post_id": "gjuez2", "comment_id": "fqni9a2"}, {"question": "I moved to Texas for school at a little more than nine month sober. Before I left I was fearing the move and was scared of the differences between AA at home and AA here. I was freaking out about a ton of minute things. Right before I left one of the old timers I look up to told me, \"It's not change that's painful, it's the fight we put up against change that is painful.\" For me to be successful in the move I had to do my best not to fight the change in circumstances. I also had to do the same things I did back home. That being; going to meetings, actively working the twelve steps, doing services work, surrounding myself with other recovering alcoholics. That is all very easy to do, but not being a regular anymore and not knowing anyone made me fearful about going to meetings. Once I got back into the swing of things like I was back home though things have never been better.", "comment": "I got sober in Colorado Springs about 8 months ago, and I've been working a fairly strict program. Regular meetings, weekly jam sessions with my sponsor, and spending lots of time with people also working the same program. Honestly, 90% of the people I talk to are in AA with me. I've been in school to finish my prerequisites for my masters, and was trying to figure out where I want to go back to school. As much as I've liked getting sober here, Texas is where I call home and where I want to eventually teach (my masters will be in education). \n\nThe academic program doesn't start until May 1, but I'm already putting some feelers out looking for jobs back in Dallas. I figured it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Except now I'm totally obsessing over the move and how the hell I'm going to do this financially and what it's going to be like starting over again and how much I'll miss my home group and the friendships I've built here. Ive been trying to ease up on the stress, and I'm usually okay for a bit but once I try to go to bed, my brain starts running on overdrive. \n\nAnyone else have experience moving in early sobriety? What obstacles should I expect (other than the ones I put up for myself)? Is it normal to be freaked out about this big of a change? ", "post_id": "1s23vf", "comment_id": "cdtg6o3"}, {"question": "sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time of life", "comment": "Hello everyone!\nLet me explain some backstory first. I am currently on a student exchange, where I meet my first girlfriend (she is also on exchange here). We started a relationship, now lasting for about 2.5 months.\nI have many concerns about our relationship.\n\n1. It is my first relationship. I expected a relationship will fix all my problems (before I had problems with depression, not at the moment, but I can kinda feel it coming back; also I have mild OCPD; also I am anxious), and unsatisfaction in life, but honestly, it is the opposite. I countinue worrying about all kinds of stuff, regarding relationship. I am not sure if I want to be with her. Not even sure if I am ready to have relationship.\nAlso one of the reasons this is my first relationship is that every time a girl shows some attention for me I become uninterested (I read this might be the symptom of wanting people's approval, ti be honest, I thing it might be true). \n\n2. I am going home in a bit more than a month, so does she, and I am not sure what to do because we live cca. 1500km apart. We talked a bit about it and she told me that she doesn't want to break up and wants to try with long distance relationship (she also had some ideas about leaving school and moving to me, which are not really rational, in my opinion), while I am not sure if I want this, because I know it could be very tough, time, energy and money consuming, also most of people I know told me that it doesn't work. On the other hand I am afraid of regret if we break up. \n\n3. Next year I will probably take extra year to travel the world and experience life more (my dream) and if we stay in a long distance relationship I feel like I am obligated to spend all free time I have with her (not travel, but live at her and spend time with her). Notice that she can't take extra year and travel with me.\n\nI am not sure what to do. I really don't want to break her heart (she told me that people always hurt her, which makes me even more sad). Even tough that I kinda hinted that I am not ready for a serious relationship, or to have long distance one (at the time she started to cry a bit and told me that she is disappointed), she is still very sweet, takes care of me and continues to love me.\n\nI fell like an asshole and hate myself.\n\nIf anyone is willing to share their toughts or advices with me I would really appreciate it.\n\nThank you.\n", "post_id": "68nq8n", "comment_id": "dgztz2g"}, {"question": "That is a bizarre dosage. A typical dose for someone with vitamin d deficiency would be 50,000u weekly for 4-8 weeks, then switching to 1000-2000u daily.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "bkvqds", "comment_id": "emjtxli"}, {"question": "The general ethical rule most agencies enforce is nothing over $5.  As a therapist the most meaningful gifts I have received from clients were letters, original poetry, cds from clients who were musicians, or random homemade things.  \n\n\nI\u2019m so happy to hear you had a great experience.  Even just sharing the ways in which your therapist helped you will be incredibly meaningful for them.\n\n\nI can only speak for myself but whenever I\u2019ve had clients who stuck with me for that long I haven\u2019t forgotten them even years removed from our last contact. Often times clients touch our lives and teach us just as much as we teach them.  The process of therapy is beautiful!   Congrats on your graduation as well!", "comment": "Hi everyone, I'm graduating university soon and that means I have to say goodbye to my university psychologist. She helped me so much. I was away from home, from my family and my anxiety was really bad (I have ocd) and she was the first person that believe in me and understood what was going on in my brain and made feel like I wasn't crazy. 3 years passed and I'm so much better, I'm a totally diferent person. In my last consult we both started crying because next consult it will be my last.\nSo I want to make something special, a little something to say thank you. Nothing can pay what she did to me but I want to give her something that she could keep and remember me because I will never forget her.\n\nSorry for the long post\n\nI need ideas people ;) ", "post_id": "8kenyy", "comment_id": "dz7l8gy"}, {"question": "Think of anything new, like a beautiful blouse, that you were absolutely crazy about when you bought it. Remember that feeling the first half a dozen times you wore it? How did you feel about it when it was 6 months old and you had worn it 50 times?\nNothing is  exciting like NEW.  The challenge of a lifetime together, is keeping the spirit and the core of your love intact, when a zillion other things are demanding your attention. My folks were romantically, sexually enthralled with each other for 70 years.  But did my Dad write her love letters for seven decades like the ones he wrote the summer he met her? No.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He is wonderful and i love him dearly. I have noticed small changes in our relationship, such as not texting/calling as much as usual, or not having special moments as once before. He told me we were past the honeymoon phase of our relationship when all of these things are more prominent and there is no need to worry- that we are just growing and settling as a couple. \n\nThis is my first relationship and I'm not quite sure how to accept the fact that there is actually such thing as \"a honeymoon phase\"- that all of these changes are normal. Could anyone share any experiences or thoughts?\n\nAny advice would be very appreciated ", "post_id": "5s3yes", "comment_id": "ddc7k2s"}, {"question": "[Heres some advice on hiccups](http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Hiccup/Pages/Introduction.aspx)", "comment": "I got them last night after a concert and some drinking. I've never had the hiccups for longer than a few minutes, but they just won't end. I couldn't sleep last night or anything. \n\nIs there anything a doctor can do? Is there any way to end this? Could this be a sign of something worse?", "post_id": "4z1o1x", "comment_id": "d6s5t79"}, {"question": "Most likely, a therapist would not take either side ( there are extreme situations that are more black/white) .  Your therapist is more likely to explore your perspective,  and issue you mentioned with your sister. \n\nI don't see couples anymore , but when I did , it was really common for a couple to come in with a disagreement and ask \"who is right?\"\n\nI encourage people to think more broadly in their interactions with others. Black/white thinking is a common theme in conflict and often creates conflict.  Most of the time (again, there are situations when absolutes are appropriate) there is no right /wrong,  win/lose. Additionally,  people feel that way when they hold on to if____, then ____, or \"should beliefs.\" \n\nEven if I agreed with you , it would not mean that I would disagree with your friend . Maybe both of you are right.  It would also be appropriate to explore your boundaries,  because you have a right to them ,even when someone thinks you are \"wrong. \"", "comment": "A friend (f48) and I(f54) got into a disagreement over a misunderstood text. I don't think the disagreement matters (maybe a post for AITA) but essentially, the friend told me that I should mention our disagreement to my therapist because my view of our conversation is being colored by my horrible relationship with my sister.\n\nMy question is... If I talked to my therapist about this from my point of view, would she take my side automatically? And if my friend talked to her therapist about it from HER point of view, wouldn't the therapist take her side?\n\nWe both think we are right and the other is wrong, so would that really accomplish anything?\n\nAlso - I'm not even seeing a therapist right now - but I'm not opposed to starting again.", "post_id": "fpcag1", "comment_id": "flkl66k"}, {"question": "Have you been speaking to them regularly for weeks in 1 on 1 kind of scenarios?  If so then you're good to go.  As a few others said, figure out something to do for a date, ask her if she wants to do it with you.  If she says no because she doesn't seem interested in that activity, just give her your number in case she changes her mind or wants to hang out some time.  \n\n\nIf you haven't talked to her much outside of class conversations or group conversations, find a way to spark up conversation when it's just the two of you.  Could just be about class stuff or anything else.  If you try to ask her on a date and you haven't had at least a good amount of small talk or social interaction, I'd say your chances are pretty slim.  ", "comment": "Especially if you\u2019ve know them for weeks?", "post_id": "8wayrz", "comment_id": "e1u829l"}, {"question": "Well done. That southern night by the pool sounds really great ! ", "comment": "They headed to the bar attached to the lobby as soon as we got our bags to the room. I shut the curtains, turned off the lights and meditated for 20 minutes. Just me and the hum of the AC. My foundation of sobriety has been feeling pretty solid these days, but every now and then...in situations like these, that all-too-familiar thirst creeps in ever so slightly and I feel a little momentary wobble.    \nNow I\u2019m out by the pool...the whole place to myself enjoying the solitude in the heavy air of this Southern summer evening. I am grateful to have clarity, peace, and calm in my mind. Thanks for being here, SD. IWNDWYT.    \n    \nEDIT: Thanks for all of the support, you beautiful people. I realized that little craving snuck up on me because I was HUNGRY! Ate a bunch of different types of empanadas and now I\u2019m going to watch some shitty hotel TV until I pass out. My roomies left to go out to the bars. I\u2019m going to wake up feeling great...", "post_id": "96182w", "comment_id": "e3xpx5j"}, {"question": "Yes. Absolutely yes. \nI\u2019m a psychiatrist. \n(I just wrote you on your other post about your brothers, by the way.)", "comment": "So I\u2019ve been taking sertraline for about 3 weeks. I\u2019ve lost both of my parents in less than 6 months and became guardian of my brothers so my doctor prescribed them. \n\nI got off BC last April after 3 years one them because my husband and I were trying for a baby (no luck so far) I never got my period back but over time my PCOS symptoms have come raging back. \n\nI took the sertraline for about 2 weeks and all the sudden I\u2019ve had about 3 days of really dark brown blood and half a day of bright red. It has all been really light. I can just wipe after using the restroom and it\u2019s gone until I go to the bathroom again a few hours later. \n\nWould this be considered a period? And has anyone heard of sertraline or Zoloft jumpstarting a period? ", "post_id": "b3qj7c", "comment_id": "eobgt0r"}, {"question": "open relationships are very delicate and only work if both people are 100% comfortable", "comment": "I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for four years this month. It started in sophomore year of high school. I love her so much and I'd love to marry her and settle down but lately I've been feeling lost. I've only had sex with 2 people her being the second and she's only had sex with 2 people, me being the second. I'm in my 20s and I really want to experience other bodies and explore my sexuality. I want her to do the same and with her being 2 hours away at college I think it'd be easy for her to explore herself. I'm a very jealous hypocritical person and I'm trying to work on that, and the thought of her sleeping with another male bothers me. But I want her to enjoy her college years and I want to enjoy living in the city as a young guy. I'd love to still be with her and give her all my love and affection while we both potentially sleep with other people. I'd love to settle down with her but right now I'm just not ready. And after 4 years of only know two people it's just weighing down on me. What should I do, does this seem like a bad idea? ", "post_id": "5ma1fk", "comment_id": "dc23ddf"}, {"question": "frequent yelling is emotional abuse", "comment": "I grew up in a house full of women. No male in the picture; dad left far before I was born. That being said I'm naturally used to being yelled at a lot for any of many reasons, but I figured moving out was probably one of the cut off points for that. Turns out I was wrong. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, and aside from some light arguments things have been going very well. Lattely though things have been rough for us. We were victims of Hurricane Harvey and had to move up to PA where her parents live. I'm not really bothered by it at all and she doesn't seem to be but there was a small issue I had just before we left and it was that she'd overreact to small things and yell at me. Example; this morning we were going to a garage sale and she asked me to turn on the GPS, I said \"You need the GPS to get there? I don't think you have to make any turns until the very end it's a straight shot\" and in return she yells at me that she needs it because she could easily miss the turn and that I should stop \"yelling at her\" about it. Now one thing I should mention, I never yell. I've been yelled at too much and I hate loud noises so I don't raise my voice at all. We both agree on that but I'm told that the \"way I say it sounds like I'm scolding a child\". \n\nMy question is what should I do about this, how can I handle being yelled at all the time for small stuff like that without putting it to the back of my head and blowing up one day?", "post_id": "74vgbz", "comment_id": "do1gm6w"}, {"question": "Hear, hear!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "13lszi", "comment_id": "c752e6p"}, {"question": "Yep.  I said some version of \"I think maybe I have a drinking problem\"  for years.  My spouse repeatedly told me, \"I don't think you're an alcoholic.  You can \\_\\_\\_\\_\\_ (various ways he had seen me moderate)\".  It wasn't until I spelled out for him just how difficult it was for me to moderate that he understood.", "comment": "My wife is exceptionally tolerant of my drinking which currently takes up every evening. I'll start about 6 pm and stop when I go to bed around midnight and this has been pretty much the same story for the 20 years of my marriage. She doesn't drink often, maybe 3 glasses of wine a week, but she never questions my drinking and often actually picks me up some beers without me even asking.\n\nI guess I'm finding it hard to see my drinking as a problem when it's so tolerated and condoned by someone I live with. It is a problem, hence why I'm on this sub, but the person closest to me doesn't see that.\n\nAnyone else had this - it's a weird one, I know?", "post_id": "dmxgxp", "comment_id": "f55p2hn"}, {"question": "I wrote a [guide to conversation](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation) which focuses a lot on your responses. It might be helpful for you :)", "comment": "Conversations with me tend to be very one-sided. Whether responding to a question or someone else's statement, my response tends to be very brief. I think \"Yep,\" \"OK,\" and \"Mm-hmm\" are probably the most common things I say in conversation. I try to think of things to say but I can rarely come up with anything. My mind just seems to go blank. Does anyone have any tips on how I can be more talkative?", "post_id": "1a1soe", "comment_id": "c8tuah6"}, {"question": "Feeling something very similar to this today too. It's a bit of a vicious cycle -- I don't get or stay close to people because I'm depressed, but then being alone and isolated makes me feel worse. ", "comment": "Thanks, depression. I *knew* isolating myself and pushing everyone away was unhealthy and unhelpful, and yet I did it anyway because I felt I didn't have a choice. Now that I put myself in this position, even my small group of friends that \"understand what I'm dealing with\" or know what's going on have stopped inviting me to things entirely, and I know it's really not their fault, but it still hurts when I see the pictures or hear about it in passing. I know I can't expect people to still invite me to things when I always decline, especially now when the days that I feel up to being around other people are few and far between. The (anti)social aspect of depression is such a hard cycle to break out of. ", "post_id": "40p561", "comment_id": "cyw12pf"}, {"question": "So the bad news is that the most accurate answer you're going to get to your questions is: We don't know.\n\nWhile some studies have suggested so, we still don't know for sure if autism is genetic. Research has shown that autism can come from pretty much anywhere (except vaccines): environment, genetics, culture, etc. \n\nIt sounds like there's a history of mental health in your family, so an autism diagnosis wouldn't be completely out of the picture. However, no one is going to be able to tell you what the chances are of you or your siblings having autism. ", "comment": "TL;DR: If both of my parents have autism, how great is the chance that me and my siblings have it?\n\nThe reason why im asking this is because I have 5 siblings, and i am 100% sure that 2 of them have autism. ( 1 diagnosed, 1 undiagnosed). I do have some mental disorders, including bpd, (social) anxiety and depression, diagnosed. There is also 1 other sibling who has anxiety, but not as bad as mine, or they know how to handle and/or hide it better than me. \n\nI would like to know how great the chance of me having autism is, if both my parents would have some form of it. The way they handle things and have raised us was pretty alarming, and there have been a lot of child protection services throughout our childhoods. I'm 90% sure that my dad has some form of autism, but im still doubting about my mother. It would explain a lot if my mother has it, since i also expect it from some of her siblings.", "post_id": "4gkk28", "comment_id": "d2iloot"}, {"question": "Hi there! I'm sorry you're feeling particularly anxious right now... I've definitely been there before :( However, reviewing some facts about norovirus will probably help put your mind at ease: norovirus is only transmitted via the fecal-oral route (just as gross as it sounds :) ). That means that you have to ingest the virus particles, which are found in fecal matter and v* of people with noro, in order to be infected. Breathing the same air as someone who is infected (and we don't even know if your coworker was infected!) will not get you sick with norovirus. Touching things he touched will not get you sick either, unless he had virus particles on his hands from v*/poop and you touched that surface THEN touched your own mouth without washing your hands.\n\nSo, reviewing logic:\n1) We don't even know if your coworker has a contagious virus\n2) If he does, he wasn't actively sick yet, so he was not yet contagious to you since the virus is only transmitted via fecal-oral\n\nTake some deep breaths and watch a funny TV show or read a good book! :)", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "71umh1", "comment_id": "dndl5wi"}, {"question": "You've gotten lots of good advice.  Don't hestitate to ask the psychiatrist questions, either.  Since most appointments are just 15-20 minutes (a consult is usually longer, or a first visit), I jot down notes and questions I have, effects I experience from meds, issues, etc.  I do this when they happen so I don't forget due to muddlydepressiongirlbrain.  I bring the notes with me and if any are still legitimate concerns by the appointment, we discuss them together.\n\nI do this with both the psychiatrist and my therapist.  I keep a journal for the same reason, to track moods and mood triggers.  It's been really helpful alongside my treatment.", "comment": "I have to see a psychiatrist on Monday for the first time ever; what can I expect?", "post_id": "yd7bm", "comment_id": "c5upcno"}, {"question": "One of the biggest fallacies that so many young artists of all mediums seem to have is that mental illness is needed for creativity or artistic talent.  There are plenty of famous artists that had severe mental illness, this is true.  There are also plenty that didn't have any substantial mental illness.  The ones with were not talented because they had mental illness.  They were talented in spite of it.  \n\nSevere depression doesn't always last forever.  For those that have a severe chemical imbalance (which is not the majority of those who do experience depression) they will have to learn to cope and will likely need medication consistently if they want to avoid serious bouts in the future.  For most people that experience depression, they can overcome it through therapy and life-style changes.  \n\nThe hardest part about being a therapist is not the actual work that we do with clients or having to learn and maintain all we know about psychology.  The hardest part is day in and day out being around hurting people.  That is why from the beginning of our training we learn the overall importance of self-care and how to separate ourselves from overly negative environments, at least to be able to come up for air occasionally.  Make sure you find a way to do that with your school and find a way to spend a good amount of time around happy and healthy people as well.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)  ", "comment": "I suffer with depression and apparently so does everyone here. So I'm told. But why is it so hard for me to notice that? They're just so good at faking it? Bottling it up during school? Why is my depression spilling to the surface and onto my facial expressions? Why is it affecting what I say and how I say it? Why can't I fake it? I unload all my negativity out on everything.\n\nIt almost feels like a competition now, that they're better at being depressed than me. \n\nI'm also told that it will last forever and I should just learn to live with it. And sometimes I'm convinced that's true and start thinking that without depression, I won't be able to do art. \n\nSometimes I have periods of remission where I start to eat well, begin to exercise and wake up early. I know if I stuck to it maybe I'd feel better. It does help. But it only lasts a few days until my next trigger of bad emotions. Whether it's a fight with my husband or an emotional breakdown due to anxiety. After that I just feel numb, like right now. And contemplate suicide. All while I think what a joke I am compared to every other depressed person at my school. It's just a never ending cycle that can't break. I'm so exhausted. \n", "post_id": "731ce0", "comment_id": "dnmwouz"}, {"question": "she needs to respect boundaries. you're a grown up!", "comment": "I just feel that adults who constantly have their moms around are, for lack of a better word, pathetic. I'm not ashamed of her personally, she's an admirable and inspiring woman, I just don't want to be seen as a freak that can't handle when mommy isn't around. \n\nThing is, sometimes she's clueless. For example:\n\nThe other night I (begrudgingly) told her I was going on a date that night. She tells me that I should talk about how she was a marine and that she was a mechanic, etc. She also mentioned that she should come down and meet him when he picked me up. \n\nNow, I think it would be weird on a first date to talk about my mom. He's on a date with me, why the hell would he care about her accomplishments when I'm the one he's trying to get to know? And on the first date having him meet my mom seems like the thing that would scare him away. It's only the first date, I might not even see him again afterwards.\n\nShe sees this as me being ashamed of her and I don't know how to get her to understand that it's not personal. Am I wrong about this? I kinda feel like I'm being an asshole.", "post_id": "6benz9", "comment_id": "dhm001o"}, {"question": "Not uncommon - admittedly I can't remember why it happens. Your doctor will probably say you should simply avoid alcohol for a bit and let your body recover.", "comment": "I am 21 and I have been drinking since I was 17. I usually drink a couple of beers once a week or get slightly drunk at parties (once every one or two months). Never had any problems until two weeks ago. I only drank a glass of rum+cola and, although I was feeling perfectly fine, when I came back home like 3-4 hours later I had to vomit (it was rather violent and very unpleasant). Then again the same thing happened to me yesterday but I only had 40 cl of beer. I know the beer was of good quality because I drank straight from the bottle. I was also feeling perfectly normal, until maybe 4-5 hours later when I was already asleep and was awaken by the necessity to vomit (it was also violent and for half an hour it made me feel really sick).\n\nWhat are your thoughts on this one? I will most probably go to the doctor but just wanted to know how common (or weird) this might be. Thank you!", "post_id": "5310uo", "comment_id": "d7p8iq7"}, {"question": "That's probably automatically generated boilerplate that's supposed to comment on HIV antibody screening. No such screening was done, so there are no results. If you aren't sexually active, or say you aren't, your doctor might skip the screening as pointless. If it was offered and declined, it wouldn't show up. Whatever the reason, you weren't screened for HIV.", "comment": "Hello, \n\nI am a 27F Height: 5'6\" Weight: 230 Medical Conditions: no diagnosed medical conditions  \n\nI went in for my physical last Friday, (Jan 2020) but have yet to receive some of my blood work results. I was reading through my doctor's after-visit notes on my online medical chart and noticed that she wrote:\n\nHIV (15-65 yo): No results found for: HIVAB\n\nHowever, this same doctor wrote this on my physical last year (Feb 2019):\n\nHIV (15-65 yo): No components found for HIVABSCN\n\nDo those things mean the same thing? Or have my 2020 annual physical results not been analyzed yet? If not, what does \"No results found\" indicate? I am unsure of the difference in medical shorthand?\n\nAny experience or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!", "post_id": "eosi6a", "comment_id": "feeuaq2"}, {"question": "There are many reasons why some people have PTSD and some do not. It seems to be a combination of \u201cnature\u201d and \u201cnurture\u201d in a way we don\u2019t fully understand. It isn\u2019t something you\u2019ve done or failed to do. Some people are less susceptible just as some are less susceptible to colds or cancer.", "comment": "That makes me feel really pathetic. How can that be true? I saw that statistic on the internet and it\u2019s messing with my head. Can someone please explain why so few people get PTSD? Why did I get it and not the other 75% of people?", "post_id": "c70zk4", "comment_id": "escd81x"}, {"question": "You can attend via zoom or google hangout. That\u2019s what I\u2019ve been doing. Search Online AA meetings. You\u2019ll find them :)", "comment": "This is the longest I've gone in 3 years now, day 3 is usually the day I fuck up. Day 1 was a nightmare, I was absolutely seething. Day two was much the same. Day 3 I started taking campral, and things were a bit better, I actually got some sleep and my appetite returned (holy shit, i'm always hungry now).\n\nToday is day four, and I'm determined not to drink. I'm still waiting until 6pm up take my campral as it makes me drowsy, so I just need to hang in there until then and I'll have made it another day.\n\nHow are you guys doing? \n\nTIWNDWY", "post_id": "gkuh5a", "comment_id": "fqtd5bs"}, {"question": "If you are able to take days off, particularly a couple of days in a row, you probably don't have physiologic dependence with risk of serious withdrawal. You can still find yourself chasing anxiety about needing Klonopin with Klonopin, which is a bad cycle to get into. Again, days without Klonopin can help break that cycle and prove to yourself that you don't *need* the medication. Anxiety is unpleasant, but it is not harmful.\n\nAs an interesting note, there is substantial evidence to suggest that therapy for PTSD is less effective if you simultaneously are taking benzodiazepines (and some kinds are more effective with beta blockers). So if you're able to wean yourself down now, you may get more out of therapy soon.", "comment": "Female, 30, 140lbs, 4\u201911, non-smoker. \n\nMy first foray into benzos was Xanax which I took at .5 mg very occasionally for years with absolutely no problems stopping for weeks or months at a time if I needed to. Eventually was switched to Ativan among the \u201cXanax panic\u201d many doctors have but had very little luck. Currently I take Klonopin. They are 2mg tablets but until a recent bout of severe anxiety, I never exceeded .5mg mg except on the rare occasion when I needed 1 mg and VERY rarely 2.\n\nLately however my anxiety has gotten so out of control when I\u2019m alone that I find myself taking at least a milligram most days of the week and often 2mg. This has been going on for about a month. PTSD from an abusive relationship and a particularly terrifying panic attack has made me so much worse than I have ever been. When thinks are calm I can not take the pills for a few days but panic-triggering situations arise most days of the week, hence my concern. I\u2019m in the process of getting into therapy which I know I need in addition to and perhaps more than these pills to manage my anxiety. But among all these stories of tolerance, withdrawal, and ruined lives, even when taken as prescribed, I am truly terrified by the fact that this new stage in my life is causing me to take the pills more often and at higher doses.\n\nIf I am able to take a few days a week \u2018off\u2019 does that keep addiction at bay in anyway? Also a doc once told me that if you are also able to adjust your doses (I.e. 1mg today, 2 tomorrow, none the next day, maybe .5 the next) that it will be more difficult for your body to develop a tolerance. Can anyone vouch for this? Benzos have been an enormous help, and perhaps the only help in my life throughout the years, and I could easily go long stretches without them... but I never thought I would ever become this anxious.", "post_id": "e8bi13", "comment_id": "faam1gc"}, {"question": "You have to respect people's need for space.\nIf couples are taking a break, it's best to have ground rules.\nMy recommendation is to 1- set a time frame,   2-  not date or fwb with others, and 3-decide on a frequency for checking in with each other.", "comment": "Hey guys, first time posting here and account in general. I've been looking for advice on this matter from as many people as I can and I sorta figured I'd try it out here.\n\nThis is our situation: my girlfriend and I have only been \"officially\" dating for a month. For sure, that'll make some people say \"well you guys shouldn't be having issues this soon\". Well, in reality we've basically been infatuated since we first met over a year ago. \n\nWe were exclusive/dated for 5 months before physical distance happened due to where we were going in our lives. Following that we kept in contact as good friends since we didn't wanna go through long distance at the time. This has been ongoing for over a year and we've practically been together the whole time.\n\nWe've always been transparent in how we're feeling, from highs to lows and whatever's going on in our lives. We've always been understanding towards whatever the other person is going through, dealing with or even whatever we're each feeling at the time.\n\nCircumstances happened that basically made us realize we were deeply infatuated with each other following our initial 5 months. Since then, we've seen each other rather regularly where I've visited her or she's visited me. Every time we've seen each other the feelings have gotten deeper and deeper.\n\nSo that's what leads us to where we are now. About a month in she's felt she isn't able to provide for our relationship purely because we've now put a label on things. She has depression, similar to myself, though both of ours come in different forms as is usually the case. I was unnaturally acting clingy after we put a label on things.\n\nIt's like putting a label on things caused an expectation in us both that's caused us to not necessarily be ourselves since we've always clicked naturally.\n\nWe talked this past weekend and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. I suggested that we stay together, have some time away from each other and then go forward following said space. This is largely due to this has happened to us before but due to completely different circumstances.\n\nI completely trust her. Everything she told me was absolutely genuine, from a deep felt I love you to we're still going to see her when I visit in the next month. We even talked about seeing each other following that.\n\nMy questions for you guys is primarily rooted in my personal anxiety (yeah, I have that on top of depression which makes everything magical /s). Is the space healthy? Was this the right move? Do I have anything to worry about?\n\nThe more logical side in me sincerely says it is. Obviously there's only so much I can convey to you guys through text since you don't know me or her, but from the perspective of what I've divulged. \n\nI appreciate any and all responses friends.", "post_id": "60i38o", "comment_id": "df6rbzu"}, {"question": "bottom line: he has to work things through with daughter, and ultimately decided whose needs are more important. then, if she's willing to have an open mind, you two can chat.", "comment": "We have been seeing each other since October 2016 and really enjoy each other's company. Our personalities fit together very well, we're really happy with each other and the sex is amazing. I know there is a huge age difference and can see where his daughter is coming from. His daughter has met me before, but does not know me very well. We kept our relationship a secret until she came home unexpectedly and found me there. We didn't want her to find out the way she did, and I think that had a big impact on how she feels about us. She is very smart, but in my eyes, I believe she is being immature and selfish about this. I don't ever intend to take over his house and play stepmom. I just really enjoy his company and the bond we share. \nWe talked about the impact this is having on her and have decided it might be best to break up, but neither one of us is okay with the idea. She barely talks to her dad now, and thinks he is taking advantage of me. What bothers her so much is that I'm too close to her age. I don't want his daughter to cut ties with him because of me and want him to put his family first, but not being together is really hurting us.\nI was in a relationship with another guy who was 20+ years older than me for 4 years before this, so the age difference thing is not so bothersome to me. I've always been more mature and find guys my age to be too childish for my taste. I don't actively seek older guys, the attraction just happens. \nSo my question to you guys is, should we just part ways? Or is there something I could say to his daughter to where she would be willing to give me a chance?\n", "post_id": "5vd61v", "comment_id": "de143fs"}, {"question": "That doesn\u2019t sound like a partnership it sounds like you catering to them and not getting much in return. You need to think about the things you want from a relationship and if you aren\u2019t getting them from this person it might be time to move on. We all deserve someone who will respect us too not just us worrying and doing things for them with no reciprocity.  If they will go to couples therapy and you think it\u2019s worth saving I would do that. If you\u2019re to the point of knowing this isn\u2019t going to work and you\u2019re just done, then that\u2019s for the best. IMO you shouldn\u2019t be doing all the work and feeling like crap about how they treat you. Relationships are a partnership and both people need to contribute to the health of the relationship and to each other. It\u2019s exhausting to be in a one sided friendship let alone a romantic relationship.", "comment": "My bf is honestly miserable, he gets so annoyed by the smallest things. If he has to work the next day, for 3-4hours btw. The whole night before he\u2019ll be moping around and pretty much just ignoring me. \n\nIt\u2019s torture seeing him upset, but he literally gets defeated by everything. He also recently (5months ago) came out to me as gender fluid after 2 and a half years of dating. Witch is cool I don\u2019t really have an issue. He likes women and transgendered women. \n\nBut I just feel like I have to walk on egg shells, I feel like it\u2019s gotten to the point where our relationship is him ignoring me over something and me constantly going above and beyond just so he can be in a good mood for a few minutes:( even though nothing seems to be good enough for him. And it\u2019s like he blames me for being gender fluid,  (goes by he or she) when I literally have done nothing but keep his secret and be supportive. It\u2019s never about how I feel:( my life is constantly just thinking I\u2019m putting 100% effort into my relations with the people around me and just still being told that I\u2019m doing something wrong and I\u2019m just missing the point entirely:(", "post_id": "efhbv7", "comment_id": "fc0ogd9"}, {"question": "I think this is one of those situations where teo things can be true.  The other child's behavior could be within the range of typical childhood exploration AND you be legitimately victimized by it.  One does not invalidate the other .\n\nGenerally speaking,  this behavior alone is not cause for concern (same age,  nothing particularly violent), but that only speaks to the child who did it.  That doesn't mean your feelings are wrong. You aren't overreacting.", "comment": "I know a lot of children explore their bodies and sometimes do so with friends, but I have a memory from kindergarten that has stuck with me throughout the years. As someone who's experienced sexual assault on different occasions, I'm wondering if this early experience could even be classified as trauma and what I can do to get past it. I've mentioned this experience to a professional previously and they basically dismissed it as nothing.\n\nI remember being in the back on class at a table with another kid. His parents ran the school, which was very small, a few kids to each grade. I think it may have been snack time and he turned to me and asked me if I wanted to play a game that he plays at home with his family. I said yes. He told me to pull down my tights and underwear so I did so and he touched me down there. \n\nI got home that night and was having dinner. My parents asked me how my day was and I mentioned that so and so touched my \"private parts\". Not knowing there was anything wrong with this. Of course my parents were not happy and came to the school to speak with the principal, his father. I dont really know what they discussed but all I was told was that people werent supposed to touch me there and I dont think we spoke of it ever again. I think a lot of shame stems from this experience but I'm not sure because I dont speak about what happened with anyone. \n\nI have flashbacks of this memory often and feel disgusting and naked when I do think of it. I dont know what to do. And I dont want feel dismissed again like I did when I brought it up to that professional. Am I just overreacting? I know it's common for kids to play and explore but I felt like I was tricked into something even by a child my own age. And it kind of disturbed me that he said it was a game his family played at home.\n\nAny help or advice with this would be greatly appreciated. Please no negative comments. It's taken me years to even bring this up.", "post_id": "hoj01k", "comment_id": "fxi8hzw"}, {"question": "All the people with significant time I know personally know their date and celebrate their anniversary every year, but as far as counting days goes, when I was young in sobriety it was a point of pride for me, however I was clear with myself and had people constantly reminding that those days don't mean shit if I drink and that no amount of time will give me the ability to take a drink. So counting days early on was fairly powerful for me, but I can see what you mean.", "comment": "I've met a few sober folks who refuse to keep track of how long it's been since they've had a drink.  In my experience, they tend to be people with several years sober, and often people who are very active in recovery, so it's not like they're in denial or anything like that.\n\nSometimes I think people might be better off not counting days.  As we all know, a lot of people reach a nice round number like 30 or 100 and suddenly start thinking they should reward themselves with a drink.  And then there are those people who rack up a lot of time, relapse, and are so overwhelmed by the feeling of needing to start over that they dread getting back on the wagon to start at day one.\n\nAny opinions on this?  I am not trying to offend anyone, or talk anybody out of counting their days -- I'm just wondering if anyone else has considered it.", "post_id": "1omkw9", "comment_id": "cctk6c8"}, {"question": "You should discuss that with your doctor.", "comment": "I'm currently on haldol and parkizol and lexomil(bromazepam)after being on valium for 2 months and before that I think clonazepam ( or also valium not sure ) for 19 days, My doc just changed from valium to lexomil and I've been on it for the last 2 days, how can I taper off from this 6mg bromazepam dose in order to take it off?", "post_id": "e5zzaw", "comment_id": "f9mwntn"}, {"question": "19 now. Got sober at the age of 17.", "comment": "I've noticed in the last few weeks a surge of younger folks joining us which is awesome!! Since a common shared concern is that \"I'm to young for this!\" I thought we should do an age roll call, perhaps putting you in touch with others that share your struggles and your age will be of some comfort for what is ahead of you. I don't care who PM's me but if you would rather talk to someone who isn't old enough to be your mom, now you know who fits the bill!\n\nI'll start, 38 next week.", "post_id": "2c6w4f", "comment_id": "cjco4nr"}, {"question": "My go-to is asking something about themselves. Their hobbies, interests, experience, whatever. Most people like talking about things they're actually interested in if they're not interested in small talk.\n\nIn professional networking type settings I ask things from the perspective of trying to learn more about a topic or field from their experience.", "comment": "If you were to meet someone new (work, school, family in law gatherings, etc, etc) what would you talk about? Sometimes its good to talk with people even if you dont feel like it, however how do you spark a conversation with someone new? what do you talk about with them?", "post_id": "eq2j7b", "comment_id": "feniez6"}, {"question": "Well done. ", "comment": "My son turned 21 tonight. Probably 50 people at the house with more alcohol than I\u2019ve ever seen. Not a sip even after about 100 offers. \u201cCome on, your son only turns 21 once.\u201d  \u201cNo thanks,\u201d over and over again.  I\u2019m exhausted. Good night. ", "post_id": "8itb2f", "comment_id": "dyusv34"}, {"question": "Totally agree and think a more holistic convo about this could happen in r/psychotherapyleftists", "comment": "Narcissism is primarily characterized by grandiose sense of self, an excessive requirement for validation, and low empathy. It\u2019s really important to understand that this is not an absolute. These traits lie on a continuum or spectrum, and not everyone who displays them warrants a diagnoses. A person can be very grandiose, but have a lot of empathy. Similarly, have low empathy and not exhibit an inflated sense of self. Or have a very fragile concept and need inexhaustible amounts of validation because they can\u2019t generate it internally - but not consciously want to hurt anyone. Look at all the insta gurus. \n\nWhat looks like \u201cnarcissism\u201d can be learned behavior, self-protective mechanisms, or disrupted development - where a child didn\u2019t move past egocentric ( which all children are) view of the world. It is also very often a trauma  response: a constructed identify that protects a very fragile core. \n\nThe term narcissism has been weaponized. The colloquial narrative of \u201cnarc abuse\u201d has led to an unnecessary amount of people being labeled narcissist. There really are not that many narcissist walking around. Nor is everyone who might have a clinical diagnoses of narcissistic personality disorder is a Machiavellian mastermind whose life objective is to shatter other people. It\u2019s not okay to slap the label on narcissist on everyone who doesn\u2019t behave in an ok way.\n\nIt makes me really sad to think everyone who receives this diagnosis will then think they must be some kind of a monster. When we use clinical nomenclature like this, we add to misinformation, we shame people with mental illness, we lower our own empathy, and significantly contribute to stigma.\n\n[Pic w/ Credit](https://i.imgur.com/lhb3nqo.jpg)", "post_id": "hejqpj", "comment_id": "fvs61u6"}, {"question": "Before and during. Ideally you shouldn\u2019t be getting into a serious relationship with someone you don\u2019t trust. If you don\u2019t trust someone early on because they keep doing stuff that makes you question if you can trust them, those are red flags and signs you shouldn\u2019t enter into a committed relationship with that person. During the relationship the trust needs to continue to be built and kept.", "comment": "Is it gained after they been through a relationship or does it develop during the relationship?", "post_id": "fss973", "comment_id": "fm36ack"}, {"question": "You can hange the way you think. The brain is a muscle like any other in the body. It is completely possible, but hard. If you want to make a change a therapist could really help as could mindfulness and meditation. ", "comment": "fears, anxieties, distorted and inaccurate interpretations of the world around me, ego based desires, and  probably more...\n\nperiodically i have moments of clarity where I am hit with the truth of how empty and stupid most of the crap going through my head is. In a way it's liberating, for a moment, but then it's depressing and infuriating since I'm certain I'll keep existing in this pathetic state. \n\nI'm open to changing that belief, but I honestly don't feel great about my prospects for escaping this absurdity.", "post_id": "72x5nw", "comment_id": "dnm1qim"}, {"question": "I'm so sorry that you experienced something so traumatic. I would suggest calling a Suicide Hotline to process this right away, and they can help find resources for you to see a therapist as you are experiencing something so traumatic. It makes sense why you are still shaken up. I am keeping you in my thoughts.", "comment": " \n\nIm sorry for my bad english but I have nobody to talk about this ...\n\nThe little sister of my girlfriend died two hours ago and I had to watch it ...  \nHer body parts got demolished by a motocycle chain that flew around from a bike accident.\n\nI babysitted her and we walked into the city and I bought her ice-cream and we stoud at the street to just enjoy the moment as at once and a motocycle crashed near us with 100 Km/h into a car ( in a zone with a 20Km/h speed limit) and the chain just broke und tored of her head ...\n\nI will never forget this moment when her head hit the ground and her facial expressions ( I cant explain how she watched but it was horror.\n\nI dont know what to do now ... Im very close to kill my self.\n\nI CANT HANDLE THIS SH\\*\\*\\*T RIGHT NOW\n\nPlease guys\n\nCan you please comfort me a bit ...\n\nIm really sorry for my bad english guys ..... ;(", "post_id": "cn96ot", "comment_id": "ew86fcd"}, {"question": "If you are not in psychotherapy, that would be my first, second, and third recommendations for PTSD and dissociation. It takes more time and may have more cost than medicine, but it also has fewer side effects and at least as much evidence for being effective.", "comment": "Age: 17\nWeight: 112-114 pounds\nDuration of problems: Several years\nPast history with it\n\nI have what is likely C-ptsd, and disassociation disorder, I'm wanting to take an anxiety med to help with my c-ptsd, but I'm worried that most anxiety meds will worsen my disassociation disorder.\n\nI was on seroquel, lexapro, buspar, among many other meds in the past, and they all seemed to make things worse (although its hard judging what did what considering what caused the c-ptsd\nwas going on during this time)\n\nI may also be sensitive to meds that lower blood pressure, klonopin nearly killed me when combined with other psych meds.\n\nthe only thing I am currently taking is my Estradiol for transitioning from male to female, I'm self medicating that currently.\n\nany idea for meds I could ask my doctor about, thanks\n\np.s. nothing like xanax or anything that could be addictive, I don't fuck around with that stuff.", "post_id": "92oclk", "comment_id": "e375wuf"}, {"question": "RPR 1:1 is the lowest detectable, and any positive non-treponemal test needs a treponemal confirmation like FTA-Abs. It also seems odd to me to treat your girlfriend empirically for syphilis without confirming that either of you actually have syphilis, and it's odder that the treatment she was given is not any kind of standard syphilis antibiotic regimen that I have heard of or can find\n\nIn any case, yes, I think both of you should get confirmatory testing.", "comment": "Hey all, no throw away account here... just honesty\n\n​\n\nSo before my LTR, I had a physical after a period of unsafe sex and my doctor told me, \"no symptoms? no need for testing...\". \n\nFlash forward one year later with my SO. She goes to school overseas and has returns home to me every 3 months or so. Each time she comes home, she develops a bad sore throat. We chalked it up to allergies until we noticed it usually only happened after oral sex. Now, I am always and have always been asymptomatic, even if I am stressed or sick; no lesions, discharge, dysuria, tonsillitis, fever, tenderness, anything!\n\nSo this last time I went with her for an STI screen and her blood results came back negative, completely, CMP, CBC, RPR, GC/CT, HIV, mono, all of it. \n\nI got tested last and DING! fucking RPR positive with titer 1:1... \n\nShe was treated empirically with Penicillin PO 14 days already (and is improved) but I have yet to follow up with my MD (results came in online this morning). \n\nShould I ask for more testing? FTA-ABS? repeat titer in one month? I'm reading some stuff online about other STI's which could cause False Biological Positives... what the hell do we test for for that? the FTA-ABS? \n\n​\n\nI hope this is the place to ask for this kind of advice... \n\nAnyways, moral of the story: ALWAYS GET TESTED, EVEN IF YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU IT'S NOT NEEDED. ", "post_id": "9dyl52", "comment_id": "e5l09l6"}, {"question": "Women experience virginity stigma too.  I\u2019ve been there. Don\u2019t let anyone get you down. ", "comment": "When you find out that a guy is a virgin/inexperienced in dating do you think less of him? Like he is less of a man or somehow immature/childish. I often feel like when it comes up in conversation girls seem to take me less serious after for whatever reason. It is almost always met with shock, them thinking in silence for a minute, then asking why. Like they are expecting a one word response like \"religion\", which isn't the case. I'm just trying to figure out what's going through people's heads when I say this. It usually just kills the conversation or brings it to a topic I don't really want to discuss. It even catches some guys off guard a lot of times and they seem to usually behave around me differently so it's not even just girls acting this way. Also I only bring this up when asked, I don't go around broacasting this.\nAm I just going about telling people the wrong way or is it a major red flag that I have to live with?", "post_id": "b1hyx4", "comment_id": "eilrigd"}, {"question": "I am unaware of any link between topical minoxidil and strokes, I couldn't find anything, and there's not really a plausible mechanism. Unless one of his doctors suggests stopping minoxidil, I don't think there's any particular reason to do so.\n\nThe same is true for exertion. What to do after strokes depends on his doctors' orders. If they said to limit exertion, he should. If they didn't, it's a question for them.", "comment": "My husband (39M) is an ultramarathoner who routinely runs 50+ miles a week. He has perfect blood pressure and is a healthy weight.  On Thursday morning he woke up with an intense headache, tried to get out of bed, fell and could not move his left arm or leg and was very slow to respond/seemed confused.  Arrived at hospital by ambulance 30-40 minutes later at which point his symptoms were improving. According to an MRI, he suffered two small strokes (ischemic but not TIAs)  He was released from the hospital this afternoon and seems to have suffered no permanent damage.  \n\nWe are of course seeing various doctors over the course of the next few months and are still searching for the cause. We found that he does have a PFO, but the cardiologist thinks that's unlikely to be the cause.  \n\nBecause of COVID, I was unable to be with him in the hospital and had to talk to doctors over speakerphone which is not an optimal communication method for important info. My husband tends to be very quiet, so I'm usually the one asking questions, but I was not able to do this very effectively over speaker, so I am now here and hoping I can get some insight from professionals.\n\nSo first, my husband uses minoxidil on his hair but forgot to mention it to his doctors.  I think he should stop using it.  I hope you all can back me up on this.  Also, could this have contributed to stroke?\n\nSecond, as a guy who sometimes runs more that 50 miles at a time, his idea of what constitutes \"exerting himself\" is different from how I and most others would define it.  He would like to go out and mow the yard tomorrow, go for a 5 mile hike next week, take a slow run on the track, etc. (He does not think of these things as real exercise.) I am trying to convince him to hold off on everything that more normal people think of as exercise at least until we identify a cause.  Am I right to suggest this?\n\nThird, he seems to have absolutely no permanent damage and has suggested resuming sex very soon.  I have no idea when that stops being risky, but I'm assuming 3 days out is definitely not enough time.  When can sexual activity start again?\n\nThank you so much!  I may come back with other questions later, this has been so fast and such a nightmare.", "post_id": "gpgfbk", "comment_id": "frm4n5t"}, {"question": "I don\u2019t think anyone is ever \u2018cured\u2019 from their mental illness. If people are putting their stock into something outside of themselves that can be lost or leave, then it will eventually catch back up to them. I think it takes daily self care and managing as things come up. I myself have gotten to a place, after doing a substantial about of work, where I do find happiness and joy in most days, even though I\u2019ve always battled anxiety and depression. I still get my bad flare ups, but I\u2019m better at recognizing the preemptive signs and then taking really good care of myself during those times. I practice more coping skills during those times, as well as reach out to loved ones letting them know I\u2019m in more of a down place and I may be more flaky as a result, and also asking certain people to check in on me when they can. Truly it\u2019s up to us to take control of our emotional and mental well-being. No one else can do it for us. They can help us feel safe enough to make changes perhaps, but they can\u2019t cure us.", "comment": "Just saw a post that said something like \"after years of PTSD and depression, I'm finally happy. my SO does this and this...\"\n\nI'm not bitter, I just want to know how that happened. I'm not expecting my SO to change my mental health, so I'm not sure what the SO has to do with it.\n\nsomeone explain, I am confusion", "post_id": "ak1v0w", "comment_id": "ef0tbbg"}, {"question": "There's no need to remove all your rewards at once. Maybe get something else you can sip on or take a bite of. Drinking a lot of water also reduces drinking impulses. Just because you decided to not drink today doesn't mean you should be just white knuckling it. ", "comment": "I just got done working, and I have to immediately switch gears and get working on my thesis draft, due tomorrow night. Normally this is about the time that I'd mosey into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine, as a treat for getting this far in the day and an incentive to get through the remaining several hours of work I still have to do. I don't really want a drink, but I want *something.*\n\n I think I want to be distracted, or rewarded, or both, because I am incredibly stressed out. If it's not my new job, it's graduate school. And when it's not that, it's the paralyzing anxiety of buying my first house.  I am so incredibly grateful for where I'm at in life, but jeez, there's a lot going on right now. What is it about me that I always take on these big life changes or challenges all at once? What is it about this time of day that makes a drink sound so pleasant when I know damn well it's not going to fix anything? ", "post_id": "4kx4ln", "comment_id": "d3iirw1"}, {"question": "There are no serious negative consequences to masturbation. The most you can get is chafing to genitals and maybe sore hands.", "comment": "17M 5\u20197\u201d 135lbs\n\ni usually masturbate around 3-6 times a day and i was wondering if this could cause any kind of negative physical side affects. i am a trans guy so i still have female anatomy but i\u2019ve been on testosterone for almost a year now so i do have bottom growth. i am not doing it this much out of compulsion it\u2019s just because i\u2019m bored and it\u2019s fun, so i\u2019m not concerned about it being any kind of mental issue just wanna make sure that it\u2019s not gonna cause any problems physically.", "post_id": "frja9f", "comment_id": "flxch1n"}, {"question": "The scrupulous answer is that we don't know. There are few long term studies of medications, and to answer this well would require testing cognitiion/memory for years. That information doesn't exist.\n\nThere are a lot of studies looking at it in other ways, and they're mixed and short\\-term. It's possible that memory problems can happen with SSRIs, but I would say the data are far from convincing to me, except probably for paroxetine \\(Paxil\\). One review found sertraline least associated with cognitive problems There are also cases of word\\-finding problems specifically showing up with SSRIs, but again, usually quite quickly, and usually reversible by stopping the SSRI. \\(Since these aren't controlled, it's hard to know whether it's a drug effect or nocebo effect\u2014a bad version of placebo.\\)\n\nThere's also a fair literature on this kind of tip\\-of\\-the\\-tongue word finding problem increasing with age, and yes, it can be noticeable in one's 30's as something occasional but not impairing.\n\nOverall, I'd say I think it's unlikely that Zoloft is responsible, but I can't say that I know it for certain. For you, there's the question of risk and benefit. You know what Zoloft does for you. It's possible but not certain that it also has a downside. I think I would recommend continuing Zoloft, but it's your decision to make or discuss with your own doctor.", "comment": "33, 130lbs, female. \n\nI've been taking Zoloft/sertraline for OCD for basically as long as I can remember. I think it was prescribed when I was around my mid-teens. As far back as I can recall, the dosage has been 50mg. I lowered it to 25mg for a time when it was difficult for me to afford the medication, and while I was slightly more obsessive and anxious, it was manageable. 50mg has seemed to be the best dosage for me, where I am still occasionally anxious or worry about particular things, but I can function well in everyday life. For around a year while I was in college, I went off the medication and my OCD returned with a vengeance.\n\nI have recently started to become concerned about potential long-term side effects. I've been on this drug for years, and I have started noticing minor issues with verbal recall. I'm not sure if it could be related to long-term use of sertraline, age, or if I'm just not getting enough sleep (definitely a possibility there.)\n\nBasically I've noticed that once or twice a week, I'll mix a word up somewhere. In the middle of a sentence, I'll use a word that is incorrect but related to what I'm talking about, or use a word that sounds similar or starts with the same letter, but isn't quite what I meant to say. In addition, sometimes I have to pause to search for the word I want. I realize people do this all the time and it means nothing, but it's unusual for me and rather embarrassing. \n\nIs this potentially related to the medication or is this just a side effect of not being quite as young anymore as I would like to be? :) Thanks for any insight.", "post_id": "8fi22h", "comment_id": "dy4bo5v"}, {"question": "Depends on the medication.  Antidepressants might help curb the desire to escape the depression through gambling.  The \"rush\" is a different experience though, and mood stabilizers like lithium or other meds often prescribed for bipolar symptoms might help curb the urges/cravings, especially if one is feeling manic in other ways.\n\nInterestingly, some research demonstrates *Naltrexone* and *N-Acetyl cysteine*(over the counter!) can be helpful in affecting gambling urges. ", "comment": "Would meds stop me from needing that kind of rush? When I have been on meds I haven't gambled anywhere near as much or felt urges to gamble.", "post_id": "1b8f7r", "comment_id": "c94nssf"}, {"question": "Everyone's good at something. EVERYONE. What are YOU good at? So, school isn't your thing... It was a learning experience. I know it seems dark and the end of the world, but school really isn't the be all and end all of everything.  PLENTY of people achieve success in life without ever going to school, and you can too, I promise.  Also, there's no time limit on school... If you decide to do something else with your life -- like work with your hands? Work creatively? Become an entrepreneur?-- there's nothing in the world that says you can't go back to college in 5,10,20+ years if you want. You can achieve a lot, honest! ", "comment": "Today was suppose to be an exam day. I couldn't bring myself to study even though I didn't forget. I'm skipping all my classes, I'm going to fail ever single one of them this time. This is the last time I can take my math course because you can't retake courses you fail three times. I just fucking suck at life. I don't have any excuse other than just being worthless. I thought I was going to get out of it this semester, but I failed. I've been seeing the school therapist, but I can't anymore because budget cuts. I really wanted to get better I really did. ", "post_id": "1exvi8", "comment_id": "ca50874"}, {"question": "you either trust him or you don't", "comment": "I have been with my SO for 6 years and we're both 25. He hasn't expressed any desire to go, but the topic came up recently because of his brother's second wedding and possible bachelor party. \n\nI don't want to control him, and I don't want him to miss out on bachelor parties especially if it's his siblings/close friends. I know going to strip clubs is the norm, but it really bothers me. Sex is a big part of our relationship, and I can't imagine feeling the same way about him if I knew he had just gone to a strip club and received lap dances/touched another woman/etc.\n\nI know it's possible to go and not get a lapdance, but with alcohol involved, it's never going to be a guarantee. I don't know what I should do. I guess it's hypothetically speaking at this point as he hasn't even been invited to one yet. But he has brought up that if he was invited to a bacherlor's party and they ended up at a strip club, it's clearly out of his control. But I just know that if he did go, I wouldn't feel the same way about him afterward. I'm not really sure if this is something that can be compromised because I want him to enjoy bachelor parties but it's impossible for me to be ok with it if strippers are involved.", "post_id": "6ybpt4", "comment_id": "dmm76aq"}, {"question": "It sounds like you could use support around exploring sexuality in a healthy, non-judgmental, guilt-free way. There is no reason why porn can't be a part of a healthy sex life if done so reasonably. If you're watching porn instead of working, can't function without it etc. then you have a problem. But if you have something that you enjoy - enjoy it. Plenty of men masturbate and watch porn AND are in relationships. And plenty of men have depression and anxiety and are in relationships. You might benefit from seeing a therapist for support and helping you build up your confidence. ", "comment": "I've been attempting to give up porn for two years now.  Longest streak was 120 days.   Although I'm starting to have my doubts, if it's as unhealthy as Christians and nofap supporters make it out to be.  It's kind of freaky how they seem to blame most of there problems on porn.\n\nI have some dignoised mental problems such as anxiety and depression like symptoms.  So I find socialising hard and dating an nearly impossible task.  I'm 27 and I heavily doubt I will find a girlfriend because of my shyness and mental condition.\n\nI guess they advice I'm seeking is that do you guys think I will be happier if I continue to give up porn and masterbation, if I will most likely live the rest of my life alone without a partner?", "post_id": "72x7aa", "comment_id": "dnm1e02"}, {"question": "Lol I became a psychologist and channelled it. ;)", "comment": "I am currently in the middle of a 3 year obsession with psychology, personality disorders, narcissism/Psychopathy and personality theories like MBTI. It\u2019s all my brain thinks about. It is completely all consuming. \n\nMy brain will say things like you are a narcissist, have ADHD and are a psychopath. It will completely lose itself in self-diagnosis. It will be all I think about. I\u2019ll try to be assessing if the person I am talking to is a narcissist. Or analyse past behaviour to see signs of psychopathy or Narcissism or ADHD. I will constantly gaslight myself. Oh do I have it or not? It will be extremely difficult to pin it down. It will be constantly going off in my head. I will become suspicious of people. I will be watching movies and trying to assess if the main character is a narcissist. It will just not stop. I will be constantly analysing my past to see if I can fit any labels on it. I have seen multiple psychologists and they have all told me I don\u2019t have it. In short psychology is all I think about. I just want closure on what I have. I will see everything as a diagnosis. It will just not stop. I\u2019ll read articles on psychology. I\u2019ll watch videos of people who have my personality style to see if I can copy them to become successful. All I will talk about is Narcissism or ADHD. I\u2019ve spent 3 years down this rabbit hole waking up each day to think oh maybe I\u2019ll figure this out now. It will be very difficult. I speak to therapists and they all unanimously say that I\u2019m fooling myself. \n\nI can\u2019t stop diagnosing my family members and others. I will put labels on people. I will come up \nWith new ways of diagnosing myself daily. I will watch or read some articles and then regurgitate them to my therapist. I\u2019ll think I have finally solved the puzzle of my personality and it will just be disappointing. I can\u2019t control my brain. Originally I got into psychology to figure myself out and then pick a career on that. I don\u2019t know what to do. I\u2019m stuck going around in circles. It is never ending. I cannot stop. Help.", "post_id": "i4pmh4", "comment_id": "g0zbinu"}, {"question": "Also a therapist, and have been in therapy over the years myself. You can and will get better! You don\u2019t have to suffer. Doing my own therapy and having therapists who were dedicated to helping me is what inspired me to become a therapist and give back in a meaningful way.\n\nI wish you the best of luck! ", "comment": "After so many years of self doubting, and my mom telling me it was a waste of time and money, that mental illnesses aren't real and that they're \"just a phase\", today I was able to go and talk to my school's therapist, thanks to a little push from my friends.\n\nI still feel as if I'm dreaming and this is all just my imagination, I never thought I would ever be able to talk to somebody about my issues, and I'm so glad I did.\n\nShe told me to go back next week, and that she wants us to work together in getting me better.\n\nI'm extremely excited! I finally did it!!! This is the first step on my journey to a healthier life!!!", "post_id": "atdqhj", "comment_id": "eh1ave5"}, {"question": "Some of this has been said but I\u2019ll just add that when I was newer in sobriety this kind of thing bothered me more. But now I have to say I feel super comfortable saying \u201cNo thanks...I don\u2019t drink\u201d. I\u2019m not saying that the road isn\u2019t challenging sometimes but I really don\u2019t miss it around folks that would judge me for not drinking. I now see their assessment as so insanely-skewed that I\u2019d sooner seek vampires\u2019 or zombies\u2019 thoughts on vegetarianism. It really is a blessing to have found a path to sobriety and to understand how perversely alcohol affected my perceptions and expectations. Again, not always an easy road but thank heavens IWNDWYT!", "comment": "I've started saying \"I'm not much of a drinker these days.\"\n\n---\n\nThere seems to be a certain stigma that comes with being a non-drinker. When I say \"I don't drink\", it's like *oh, you're one of those people.* \n\nSaying \"I'm not much of a drinker these days\" gets the message across without the possibility of triggering that awkwardness. \n\nIdk, it works for me. Maybe you can try it. \n\n---\n\nIWNDWYT", "post_id": "huh5g7", "comment_id": "fynz74t"}, {"question": "We\u2019re natural born helpers who do the work we do because of this. It\u2019s my passion and what I love to do so this is a way to help (within reason - I\u2019m not giving therapy via Reddit just answering questions or giving compassion and empathy). We have the experience and expertise to answer questions for folks who are wondering about going to therapy and what that\u2019s like. We also kind give people some support or resources they wouldn\u2019t have otherwise. Also I think having people who are in the business that can answer questions about \u201cis this normal for my T to do\u201d is important because it\u2019s a way to help protect vulnerable people who might be in a situation that is legally or ethically questionable or give support in \u201cyes this is normal and here\u2019s why\u201d etc.  \n\nIt\u2019s kind of like a artist who paints for their own enjoyment because it\u2019s their passion not just painting with the intent to make money. The only analogy I could think of atm so it\u2019s wobbly and I\u2019m sure can have holes punched through it but it\u2019s sort of accurate.", "comment": "After spending so much time at work it's surprising you do extra work for free. It's very kind but I'm just wondering why :)", "post_id": "egxrhx", "comment_id": "fcaww5w"}, {"question": "Well, it depends a little bit on the definition of abuse in the state in which you live. Some states define child abuse only as being possible from someone expected to protect them. \n\n\nHowever, in general, the answer would be yes, if you are a minor and been abused the therapist would be required to report this.  It does not, however, have to be reported to your parent. But I would suggest generally that is probably a good idea. ", "comment": "This may seem like a stupid question to ask, I know. I\u2019m 14 and I\u2019ve been through abuse when I was in middle school. (3 years ago) I\u2019ve never told anyone I personally know before, and don\u2019t want to tell my mom. If I were to tell a therapist about my history of abuse, by law, would they have to break confidentiality to my mom or anyone else? I\u2019m extremely paranoid about this and just want to know what\u2019ll happen beforehand so I can decide if I really do want to talk to a therapist about it. ", "post_id": "a6waor", "comment_id": "ebynl9a"}, {"question": "All dating is a numbers 'game'. It always was. The more people you can talk to, the better the chance of one being THE one. So just keep doing all the dating apps and meetup.com and social/rec activities. Maximize your opportunities for conversation and someone sweet will come along.", "comment": "So I\u2019ve had a year. I\u2019m sure we all have but mine has blown. Not of the awesome oral variety but more a fart that isn\u2019t just a fart. My wife and partner of five years has left me for her Ex and whilst now I can see I\u2019m better out of the relationship I\u2019m kind of adrift. \n\nI met my Ex when I was 19, she was my first proper relationship aside from high school stuff that doesn\u2019t really count. I have never been on a date and although I\u2019m now feeling better having dealt with some conflicting emotions I\u2019m a little lost. I was ill a lot and in and out of hospital around the age of 16 so lost contact with a lot of my friends and the little amount I kept I neglected once I met my partner. I have a social group of zero other than my younger brother who turns 21 next month.\n\nHaving no friends, quite literally, is totally my bad. I get that. I had some good people that I just drifted away from. The split with my Ex was and has been hard. Not only have I lost my wife but also my best and only friend. We still talk but it\u2019s not the same. \n\nNow that I\u2019m feeling kind of okay I decided to give casual dating a try. I met my wife on online dating so I was a bit cautious. Only issue is I have no idea what I\u2019m doing. That and there isn\u2019t much call for a 24 year old who couldn\u2019t make a marriage work.\n\nAny advice for a nerdy social time bomb? What should I be doing. I\u2019ve got the usual (tinder, POF etc) and have spoken to a couple ladies but stuff just seems to peter out. Any advice would be appreciated! I also guess the crooks of this is also how do I expand on a non-existent social group? I\u2019ve never known loneliness and it sucks.\n\nTl;dr Had a shart of a year, getting divorced, do dating apps work?", "post_id": "74wcxa", "comment_id": "do1kb3l"}, {"question": "What dose of venlafaxine are you on (efficacy for this drug is dose related)?\n\nAlso have you seen one of us?", "comment": "Hey there,\nI'm a white, 28 yr old female living in the UK. I'm 5'6 and 200 lbs.\nI'm looking for any help to help solve my undiagnosed health issues. I also have a full case on CrowdMed. I've had bizzare and common symptoms over the past 3 years and am feeling at a loss of what it is. I need all the help I can get to solve the case. You can find the full details and pictures of my case via this link: https://www.crowdmed.com/s/psqv3zfe\n\nI'd love suggestions / thoughts / discussion if anyone has had anything similar with a lot of common and strange symptoms including (excessive sweating, OCD (pulling hair / picking spots), tumour in mouth, cataract in eye, very fatigued, extreme weight gain (50+ lbs in past 3 years), tingly hands and feet, low libido, intermittent headaches, general feeling of being unwell / weak / tired).\n\nSYMPTOMS:\n[MENTAL HEALTH] Depression High Anxiety Panic Attacks Night Terrors OCD - Skin Picking Disorder - Scalp, Arms, Legs, overall body Stress\nBrain Fog\n[PHYSICAL] Extreme sweating Trichotillomania - pulling of hair, (resulting in bald spots) skin, nails Intermittent Headaches Low libido Low immune system to fight off colds Digestive Issues including: Bloating, Inconsistence - Pooping myself, Stomach pains > diagnosed as SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth) and on intermittent Low Fodmap Diets (can work but comes back overtime and not consistent) Rash on upper arms which gets redder when eating Extreme weight gain - +50 lbs in past 3 years >> Stretch Marks > due to weight gain Creaky knees Extreme Exhaustion - very tired / low physical energy Extended periods of sleep but never feel rested Excessive and continuous yawning Heavy / bad periods > on the brink of endometriosis Tingly hands legs and feet (go numb) on a regular basis Dry mouth Awaking in the middle of the night - 2-4am with loads of energy and difficulty going back to sleep Charlie Horse / muscle pains that hit in the middle of the night and then stays with me for 1 -2 days Snoring General feeling of being unwell Consistent feelings of strong hunger Coughing (in the morning) at least a few times a week Difficulty getting up in the morning and feeling paralysed or still half asleep / dreaming even a half hour after waking up\n[CONDITIONS DIAGNOSED] Recently diagnosed with low B12 and I am taking vitamin supplements HPV Benign Mouth Tumour > removal in October 2014 Abnormal Pap Smear + Risk of Cervical Cancer - Biopsy - 2015 Cataract in right eye developed in the summer 2015 SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth) and on intermittent Low Fodmap Diets\nALLERGIES: Grass House Dust\nCONSISTENT PILLS Sertraline and then changed to Venlafaxine due to the sweating, nightmares and excessive weight gain Disapaigm [panic attacks as needed] Probiotics Birth Control - Celeste *It's important to note that I loop my pills, only getting my period once every 4 - 6 months.\nAgain, my case is on CrowdMed here: https://www.crowdmed.com/s/psqv3zfe\nSome doctors think it's Cushing's Syndrome and I'm currently being tested. They have also suggested HPV as I've been diagnosed with this. Open to all suggestions / ideas!\nThanks so much, Malvina\n", "post_id": "54gg4i", "comment_id": "d81lgka"}, {"question": "Do you have any outpatient providers (therapist and/or psychiatrist)?", "comment": "I am getting desperate. I'm not sure what to do. I really want to get better but I don't know how. I'm thinking about going to the hospital and telling someone how suicidal I am, but I'm afraid. Has anyone done this before? ", "post_id": "5kmh16", "comment_id": "dbpeopa"}, {"question": "people talk too much about their history. if someone's not a virgin, does it really matter how many? the only thing that matters is what kind of relationship you agree upon.", "comment": "Hey guys, I'm just looking for some help. Almost like a Change My View post. \n\nSo I have been dating this girl for about 4 months now and been 'seeing' her for about 5 months. I lost my virginity to her but I know that she has had a history. She is an incredible girl and I really like her and she seems to really like me but just awhile ago I figured out about how many people she has been with. 22 is the number. I was 21. \n\nThe problem is that I don't know how comfortable I am with how many people she has seen. Also that a lot of the people she has had sex with, she still keeps as friends and talks to regularly. She is loyal and I know she would never cheat on me but I don't know how I feel about how she has had sex with one of her best guy friends and still snaps and texts him daily. \n\nI absolutely love this girl and she loves me. I want to be with this girl for awhile. We have talked about it and have a good reputation of communication about anything we feel uncomfortable with. She doesn't like her past and tells me most of them have been one night stands she barely remembers(alcohol). I try to be very accepting of it and help her with her toxic feelings but I don't know if I actually mean some of the stuff I say.\n\nSo since I have no one else I can really talk to this about, I need your help with accepting this \n fact about my girlfriend. Shoot me with any questions you might have. \n\ntl;dr: My girlfriend has had quite a sexual history and I need help accepting it as I feel quite uncomfortable about it.", "post_id": "6e8y3l", "comment_id": "di8jx3d"}, {"question": "Any kind of therapist really.  Everyone works differently though and not every therapist is the best fit for every individual.  \n\nIf you've never been in therapy before, I'd say try to find a therapist with demographics you feel like you'd be the most comfortable talking to.  Ie.  Age, gender, race, etc.  \n\nSome folks are more comfortable with therapists around their same age, some prefer older.  Some have no preference.  Be honest with yourself in regards to these  things and browse some profiles online of therapists near you.  \n\nGo with the one whose description of how they work seems like they have a personality that you would feel comfortable with.", "comment": "I'm having issues with relationships with women that I want to fix. I guess some of the big issues include introducing women I'm dating to my mother/family.  I'm not sure if this is considered \"intimacy\" but I'm asking what kind of therapist would be able to assist?\n\n​\n\nthanks", "post_id": "f6eec7", "comment_id": "fi4gmhh"}, {"question": "I tried it for three months but didn't notice any difference. I am not sure if I want to shell out the $15 for another month...", "comment": "Thinking of buying a supplement to help with my PCOS. I'm already on a multi-vitamin and multiple PCOS blogs have recommended Inositol as a supplement. Do you take it, or are there other supplements you would recommend?", "post_id": "42y7en", "comment_id": "cze0dy2"}, {"question": "Omg please get out of this relationship and far away from this person. This is so incredibly unhealthy it was hard to read. ", "comment": "My partner and I are both 24 years old, and have been together for two and a half years. We have no children, and we live together. Recently, I caught him having an affair with a coworker. He cut it off and was genuinely remorseful, and together we decided to get to the bottom of things and resolve any issues that may have led to the affair. We are getting him treatment for depression, and he has promised to open up to me about his issues. In being open, he admitted to not being attracted to me, and to having started the affair because he was much more attracted to his coworker.\n\nHe called his affaire \"the whole package,\" and (when I pressed him for things I could improve to change his lack of attraction to me), said she had better hair because it was thicker, and a better waist (even though, it looks to me as if she has NO waist) because it was about the same size as her hips. Mine is \"too extreme.\" He asked me to change my hair cut and color (which I did, and was a little sad to bleach my natural hair), and to gain weight so that he could be more attracted to me, and we determined that his \"ideal woman\" has a body fat percentage of about 25-30. I am 5'5\", 114lbs, and have a 36-24-36 figure. My current body fat percentage is 13. I've always had an athletic build, but I've worked hard to maintain an optimal size for my own health and preferences.\n\nI don't want to lose my partner; I love him and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't want him to never be attracted to me. But at the same time, I'm worried about sacrificing my health (and all that hard work) for him...what if it's not enough anyway? According to his preferences, I'd be borderline overweight. I don't want to risk losing him, or push him into another affair because he needs to feel attracted to the person he's having sex with, but I'm scared to gain that much fat. What if, as I have kids and age, I get even bigger and my health is totally wrecked? I had anorexia as a teenager (my mother restricted my caloric intake because she didn't want me getting \"fat like [her]\") and have only come to be happy about the way I look over the past couple years, largely thanks to my partner...but then I come to find that he's not been happy with the way I look? Ugh. I've been the same size for the duration of our relationship, but he says he didn't feel this way before.\n\nI love this man, and other than this one indiscretion, he has always been good to me. He has never before given me reason to doubt his love, and I can tell he feels bad asking me to change. But I don't want to lose him or leave him unsatisfied. He is attracted to other girls my size/shape, too, which confuses the heck out of me. Has anyone else ever been in this situation? What should I do?", "post_id": "1avlur", "comment_id": "c91a665"}, {"question": ">  i dont know if i have adhd but i think i do? \n\nGet a diagnosis. If you're in college, there are almost always free mental health services at the campus health center. If you're in high school, see your doctor and ask about ADHD, and mention the memory problems. ADHD is really common - you may also have something else like a processing disorder. Your doctor will either have the ability to diagnose you or be able to direct you to someone who can. \n\nDepending on where you are, you may also be able to find someone called an Educational Diagnostician. They run specialized tests to screen you for your educational strengths and weaknesses, and they would be able to tell you specifically where your problem lies.\n\nBut, working memory problems, and anxiety caused by those problems, are really common with ADHD.", "comment": "im a sophomore and weve only started classes a month ago. in the past couple of weeks we already had our long quizzes. i know i have a short memory but tbh it never really affected me that much before. i dont know if i have adhd but i think i do? i noticed i was failing science and always got the lowest score in our class (btw im in the 1st section so my classmates and the other always had high expectations from our class) so thats where it started. everyday that passes i feel shittier and shittier. not only because of my tests but also because of my classmates, now that i feel like shit i really opened my eyes and noticed how almost everyone in my class looked down on me. When we had group works and i ask if i could join they give me a sorry look in their faces?? it really hurts, even when im with my seatmate i cant even talk to her because shes always facing me back, ALWAYS!! I obviously dont blame them for my struggle but i wish i was treated normally but most importantly can anyone give any advice to make my memory stronger i want to fix myself", "post_id": "c8nosc", "comment_id": "esojg40"}, {"question": "I think it's mostly about figuring out for yourself what you are avoiding, why precisely you are avoiding it, and why other things are more appealing. Clarity is the path to improvement I'd say. (e.g. when I say you should figure out why you are avoiding it, I am not pointing to an answer like \"I am too lazy\" or \"I don't want to\"; that's not a proper reason).", "comment": "Each year, I have been doing less work and piling more and more work. I keep telling myself I'll do it, but I just end of procrastinating and tell myself to quit and do it the next day.", "post_id": "7j1hkx", "comment_id": "dr33uu7"}, {"question": "[\u522a\u9664]", "comment": "At this point I am 100% certain that I have had depression for at least six months now. Constantly feeling like shit when nothing is wrong, having bad relationships with people, and multiple suicide and self harm attempts have led me to believe this. I am a male, 13, and my mom doesn't believe in mental health nor does she understand it. I don't have alot of money, maybe I can get together $50 if I sell some of my belongings. Is there any way I can get diagnosed? Where can I find a mental health professional? Is it possible/legal for someone to get diagnosed without their parents knowing? Please help me out here.", "post_id": "inawrf", "comment_id": "g46ru7h"}, {"question": "Asking \"How has your week been?\" is really a common go to for therapists for starting sessions.  That's generally the case because it's really a common go to for people overall if they haven't seen someone in a week.  For most clients, they'll give a brief recount of their week and seg into a discussion regarding the goals they are working on in treatment and much deeper dialogue.  Not everyone does this though.  Some clients stay focused entirely on what happened throughout the course of the week for whatever their personal reason for doing so is.  \n\n\nI challenge the therapists I train to move away from this \"Tell me how your week has been?\" question and replace it with the question \"So what do you want to work on today?\"  \n\n\nI'd suggest that you go in with that mindset, even if the therapist doesn't ask that question.  Ask yourself \"What do I want to work on today?\" and tell the answer to your therapist.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "dv74p6", "comment_id": "f7cff92"}, {"question": "An albumin of 5.1 is within normal in many labs. Even if the lab flags it, it has no significance.\n\nThat elevated ANC is also not actually significantly elevated and can be ignored.\n\nThe presence of nucleate (immature) red blood cells, even very rarely, is unclear, and I would also want to know whether this is an automatic read and, if so, how good the device doing the reading is. Talk to the doctor who ordered the tests.", "comment": "28 white Female, 170 LBS Taking Vitamin D, Vitamin B 12, Magnesium (not actively on all three), recent medical history have been having aches throughout the body, Rheumatoid doctor ordered these tests. \n\nGot test results back today and a few were flagged. Below are the results, and im just wondering what would cause them to be flagged? Also, my Hepatic Function PNL results showed high Albumin at 5.1 g/dL \n\nSorry for everything being condensed together, but the Nucleated Reds, Absolute NRBC, and ABS NEUT are all high.\n\nWBC 10.20 k/uL\nRBC\t4.69 m/uL\nHemoglobin\t13.2 g/dL\nHematocrit\t40.0 %\nMCV\t85.3 fL\nMCH\t28.1 pG\nMCHC\t33.0 g/dL\nRDW-CV\t12.4 %\nPlatelet Count\t230 k/uL\nMPV\t12.0 fL\nNeut%\t74.5 %\nAbs Neut (ANC)\t7.60 k/uL  (HIGH)\nLymph%\t17.7 %\nAbs Lymph\t1.81 k/uL\nMono%\t6.2 %\nAbs Mono\t0.63 k/uL\nEosin%\t1.0 %\nAbs Eosin\t0.10 k/uL\nBaso%\t0.6 %\nAbs Baso\t0.06 k/uL\nNucleated Reds\t0.1 /100 WBC (HIGH)\nAbsolute nRBC\t0.01 k/uL (HIGH)", "post_id": "e0k0py", "comment_id": "f8eh7z6"}, {"question": "You want them close and you want to keep distance. I can see how you feel like they dont see you. Maybe they see both intentions and do something in between. Confronting you with these signs is a big step and to me doesnt feel like in between.", "comment": "For context, I consider these friends my family. This isn't a case of \"well it sounds like you need to find new friends!\" I don't have any living family. These people are all I have. I have known them for years. \n\nThey know I've struggled with mental illness before, they've stuck with me through a couple breakdowns. At this point, it's a sort of, oh, OP's having one of their mental breakdowns again. I feel embarrassed and vulnerable when these happen, so when they don't...I don't talk about it. I want them to forget it. I can't bring myself to open up to them about it. Usually, I want them to think I'm fine, and usually, I am.\n\nBut now it's backfiring, and I'm getting better at hiding my breakdowns, I'm getting better at convincing myself that it's okay to feel like this, when before I'd let out some kind of small, noticeable cry for help. I think THEY think I'm fine, when I need them to notice I'm not more than ever before. I need them to notice I'm making real, actual plans to kill myself. I need them to reach out and ask if I'm okay instead of waiting for me to ask for help, because I don't think I can this time. I'm embarrassed, and I feel very small.\n\nI'm slowly preparing to exit this world. I'm hoping by 2020 I'll feel fully ready to leave an existence I geniunely don't think I was meant for. I've begun slowly decluttering my apartment, and giving away things I'd rather see go to friends than say a thrift store. It's nothing super personal, but it's nice stuff. My coffee maker, my really nice portable speakers, brand new clothes, video games, etc, just stuff like that. I've started withdrawing from our usual social activities. I flake on almost everything I'm invited to. I stopped going to our DnD sessions. I've told them I feel like I don't fit in, that I feel like a constant burden to them when we do hang out. I am constantly anxious, or agitated, and I am almost always intoxicated or high when we do hang out outside of work. I renewed my life insurance policy this year, and put my best friend as my beneficiary and gave her a list of how I want my remains handled. I've even arranged who would get my pets if \"something were to happen to me\". \n\nAnd yet...no one's reached out. No one's noticed this checklist I'm working my way down. I know it's not their responsibility to monitor me, but jesus christ, I'm giving away my possessions and renewing my life insurance. I can't bring myself to ask for help. I know how selfish this whole thing makes me sound. I don't want them to think I'm weak. But when I can't make myself ask for help, god, god fucking damnit, I want them to notice. I want one of them to pull me to the side and ask how I'm holding up. I want one of them to just please reach out and hold me and not let me go until they know I've cried a river onto their shoulder. \n\nI don't want to be one of those they-seemed-fines, or one of those we-should-have-recongized-the-signs when I'm gone. I want my friends to notice I'm not okay, right now, because even though it isn't their fault, this total lack of recognition is only convincing me further that I was just not meant for this world. It's making me mad and frustrated at the people I love.\n\nHow can I cry out for help, when I don't have the strength to find my own voice? Without making my friends think less of me? This is the closest I've ever gotten to leaving. I just want them to notice I've already got one foot out the door.", "post_id": "b4glu9", "comment_id": "ej6ltyo"}, {"question": "Can you specify what you mean by normal?  In my opinion there really is no such thing, but everyone can always decide what they believe is normal.  \n\n\nWhether you struggle with mental illness or not, nobody is happy or free from stress and anxiety most of or all of the time.  It's a part of everyone's life.  The difference between when depression or anxiety becomes a diagnosable disorder is when they begin to cause significant impairment in ones functioning.  \n\n\nI think that most people that have a good handle on their mental health go through the same mood swings and ups and downs as folks with diagnosed mental disorders (though not always as severe as some when chemical imbalances are involved), the difference is that they have a good set of coping skills and the awareness to know when they need to use them.  This means that they don't allow depression, anxiety, etc. to keep them from living the life they want to live, despite still going through some of the same distress.       ", "comment": "Do they feel happy most of the time? If yes then how much happy.Or don't you notice most of the time how you feel? Is it okay to not feel anything for certain time ?", "post_id": "906u58", "comment_id": "e2o54jd"}, {"question": "lying is a bad quality.....i'd say enough", "comment": "I'm so confused as what I should do. Morality wise I k ow I should leave my relationship. It's so hard because I love him so much. But he lies and it's at the point where why bother. Even if I wanted out, I feel as it would be so hard to even make the first move. I work and take care of us and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, which I am. I feel bad for him because he has no one. Well at that, neither don Davies the minute I stated dating him I lost everyone in my life. Ugh.  I need help..", "post_id": "64akir", "comment_id": "dg0mx1j"}, {"question": "Why not drink? Because you know damn well that if you drink it will be significantly worse than what you have right now, if that wasn't true you wouldn't have gotten sober in the first place. If you think life will be better with a drink in your a hand, then go to the liquor store, but if you are alcoholic you'll be back, life out there is shitty. \n\nYou want reasons I'll give you a few superficial ones\n-No hangovers\n-No blackouts\n-No pissing yourself\n-No drunken fights\n-Better health\nThis fucking list is endless. No one here can convince you to not drink. If you're looking for one reason why it's not better to be sober then you're not looking hard enough. Wake up and realize that you need to face your shit instead of running away from it. Everyone who shares the common bond we do loves you, but we can change your thoughts. Call someone who shares your disease and let them take your shit from you. Any AA should be willing to listen to you talk for as long as you need if they have the time.\n\nPhysiologically your brain isn't capable of having fun yet. For the alcoholic or drug addict it takes about a year to get normal Dopamine levels back, but I can promise you they come back. No matter how bleak it seems, if you don't drink things will get better. If you drink you're back in the cycle and you can wait another 12 months. \n\nYour sponsor may be a bible thumping prick, but he's found a spiritual solution to his ailment and he can help you. All you have to do is get on that phone. ", "comment": "Sitting at home alone on a Saturday night just like every Saturday night.  Closing in on 10 months sober.  Stopped talking to the sponsor when he got out of line trying to push his religious views and other beliefs on me.  Still no friends.  Do I really even want any?  Nothing is fun. I get no joy out of life.  I used to think I wanted love. Now I don't think I want anything. I can't think of anything that could possibly make me happy. Except for having a drink.  If I could have a drink maybe I could have fun again.  Maybe life would be enjoyable.  Maybe I at least wouldn't feel so miserable on a Saturday night.   Why am I still sober?\nI've heard every slogan you are about to through at me so don't leave before the miracle ... Bla bla bla.  Save it.    Give me a real reason why I shouldn't head to the liquor store before it closes.", "post_id": "1meom8", "comment_id": "cc8j38p"}, {"question": "Dogs are VERY VERY VERY special companions. If he loves you--the guy that is!-- he'll find a new place with you.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "6qpomj", "comment_id": "dkz1uvs"}, {"question": "Well, a few things.\n\n * You might want to read the description of [Asperger's syndrome](http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome). If you're looking through that and you're like \"Wow, that really seems to describe me\", you might have Asperger's. In that case, you should go see a counselor (preferably someone who specializes in Asperger's/autism) because they can officially diagnosis you (or tell you that you don't have Asperger's, if that's the case). Figuring out my diagnosis was a huge blessing to me, because it put me in touch with a lot of great resources for improving my situation, and it also gave me a greater sense of peace because it explained some of the struggles that I was having---it's not that I was a bad person, it's just that I didn't learn social skills in the way other people do.\n * Social skills, like any other skill, can be learned. I did it (and wrote a [guide](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com) to help others do it too), and I'm not the only success story. Think about actors. They've learned to demonstrate correct body language, tone of voice, etc for the scenes that they're in. That's not magic--it's just the result of practice and study. You can do that too.\n * With that in mind, you should start to deliberately practice and study social skills :) Get some social skills books ([this](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/best-social-skills-books) is a list of a few of my favorites), and read through them, and then *practice* what you learn. Read through the books to identify several things you want to practice, then practice one thing at a time until it feels comfortable, then move on to the next. There's also great online resources--the sidebar lists three, and there's more out there. Focus on social skills advice that teaches you the fundamentals, rather than sketchy advice that teaches you \"Here's how to manipulate people/here's how to automatically succeed in every social interaction ever.\"\n * Also, try to get other people involved if you can. If you have friends or family members that you trust, tell them that you want to improve your social skills, and then ask them for their advice. Having people who care about you and will call you out on social mistakes can be very helpful, and it's useful to have people that you can debrief with too (\"I talked to Bob and he reacted in this way and I don't know why, can you help me understand?\")\n * Most of all, don't get discouraged and don't give up. Learning social skills is a marathon, not a sprint. Your goal is to just get a little bit better every day, not to become a superstar overnight. Don't be afraid to give yourself some introvert time to recharge before going out and socializing again, and don't beat yourself up if you make a social mistake. Just chalk it down to a learning experience, and keep learning!", "comment": "Hello! I've just found reddit and this subreddit and wanted to seek advice. Apologies if I'm not following proper protocols.\n\nAnyway, I was told the other day that I am \"awkward\" to talk to because:\n\n* My tone of voice is wrong\n* My body language is wrong\n* I don't ask good questions\n\nThose seem like such fundamental criticisms that I don't know how to fix them. How do you fix such basic things? I mean, I've always known there was something wrong with me. People don't like me or find me interesting, and I've never been able to blame them. It just feels like there was some class on all of this that I missed...Being Human 101. How do you make up for that? It almost feels like I have a chance though, because despite how awful it was to hear that from someone, it's at least specific criticism and not what everybody else does and just ignores me or avoids me.\n\nThanks for any input!\n\nEDIT: 23 year old male here.", "post_id": "ti4l3", "comment_id": "c4mtv7z"}, {"question": "You've waited six years too long I'm afraid.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been together for coming up to seven years. We've lived together for four of those. We are absolutely in love with each other - no doubt in my mind. We know we want to spend our lives together.\n\nI've been thinking about marriage and children for a while. My parents had me young (my mum was 21) and I have an amazing relationship with them, and I want that with my children. I want to get married before kids and my boyfriend knows that.\n\nWe have spoken about our future and marriage is definitely a 'when' not an 'if'. He says he doesn't want to be engaged for a long time, and would prefer to be able to afford a wedding before we get engaged. I see this as just an excuse, but I haven't told him that. We are both in full time jobs earning a decent income. He's due a pay increase soon and I think we could afford it if we (namely he) cut back on impulse purchases. He's a gadget and video game enthusiast.\n\nKids come up in conversation a lot (again, when not if) and I've told him I want to have them before I'm 30. I have dropped hints like saying 'when you are ready for kids' instead of saying 'when we are ready' and I changed my birth control to something that would make my natural fertility return a lot quicker after discussing with him.\n\nI'm at the point where every special occasion, every holiday, every date night - the thought of 'what if it's tonight he finally pops the question' enters my head. I'm annoying myself to be honest. I never wanted to compare myself to a Legally Blonde scene.\n\nDoes it sound like he's a commitment-phobe? Should I talk to him again? He's a pretty traditional guy so I don't think he would respond well to me asking him. Last time I brought marriage up (about six months ago) it somehow turned into an argument, with him asking me how I knew he wasn't going to ask me the next day.\n\nAny advice would be great, even if it's just to stop the urges to plan my yet-to-exist wedding and think about my yet-to-be-conceived children's names!\n\nTL;DR I've been with my boyfriend for seven years and I want to get married and start a family. Not sure if I should talk to him (again) or wait. ", "post_id": "6x9d5i", "comment_id": "dme5j6t"}, {"question": "Seeking therapy shows empowerment on your part. You are in control of your life, you may just not see it. But seeking therapy shows that you believe you can influence and moderate your distress. Therapy helps. Everyone may say that CBT is the only way to go. Not true.  There are MANY types of therapy that really, all have the same \"active ingredients\". Family systems, ACT, DBT, are all great options. It is just about you and your commitment to work on yourself, and understand want you need to so that you can function. Best of luck! ", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "15zuvm", "comment_id": "c7rdday"}, {"question": "I think it would be beneficial for you to go on metformin. Ask your doctor about it. Many PCOS patients benefit from metformin and it helps them manage their weight. ", "comment": "I diagnosed  7 years ago (I'm 23 now). I've done a pretty good job of keeping everything under control naturally but lately I've been really struggling. Between a lot of personal issues I'm going into counselling for and opening a business/stress, I'm losing the fight on this one. I lost a good amount of weight, went down  70lbs, had another 30 to lose to my goal. I've slowly been creeping back up. I'm gaining weight, it seems to be mainly my belly and back. it's killing me. I just wanted people's opinions on metformin. I'm slightly insulin resistant, going for blood work again soon. I just want something to help me get things under control - the cravings and weight gain. Thanks", "post_id": "3oioo2", "comment_id": "cvxn8kx"}, {"question": "If you can afford to, I\u2019d recommend regular sessions with an aesthetician. Trust them as a professional to extract the things which warrant extraction and to do it in a way that doesn\u2019t damage your skin", "comment": "How do normal people do it? Like, blackheads, whiteheads, scabs. Do they just not touch them? I can't stand seeing or feeling anything on my face. It's hard for me to believe it would just go away. Especially blackheads. \n\nI want to let my skin heal, but I keep needing to fix things....\n\nNote: I'm looking for a legit, scientific answer. Are you supposed to just let everything live in your face?? Because that sounds crazy.", "post_id": "j5bue0", "comment_id": "g7sxah4"}, {"question": "Psych counselor here: It is doubtful that mono is directly related with anxiety. However, excessive anxiety releases the stress hormone cortisol, which suppresses the immune system- making it easier for you to get sick.\n\nAs for Xanax- be very careful with that. It is intended for a few weeks MAX. Longer than that and you risk both brain damage and dependence. ", "comment": "I'm 25 I had mono this past November-January. I feel like I never fully got better. I'm overly aware of myself and have been having frequent panic attacks. I don't ever remember feeling this way prior to having mono.\nI went back to the md who dx me with mono during an attack he said it was allergies and gave me Xanax.5 I was taking them daily. I found a new physician who wants me off the meds and recommends tapering down to .25 and then to as needed. \nAnyone else with similar experience? ", "post_id": "tq56t", "comment_id": "c4pnupx"}, {"question": "Yes, it makes sense. Unless you are seriously systemically sick there are few reasons not to get recommended vaccines.\n\nMost shots don't infect you, and the ones that do infect you with attenuated versions that don't make you sick. You can feel sick because of the immune response, but more immune response isn't going to hurt you when you're sick from something else.", "comment": "I have a bacterial infection in my right armpit, not life threatening but painful and gross nonetheless. I went in to get an antibiotic and he kept suggesting to get the Flu/HPV/Other shots that I was eligible for that day. Is that logical of him to suggest since the shots essentially infect me while I am trying to overcome a current one?", "post_id": "ab8yuh", "comment_id": "ecydk4e"}, {"question": "Cocaine can cause rhabdomyolysis (muscle breakdown), and the products of breakdown are damaging to kidneys. It may be that the pain is from the breakdown of muscle in that leg more than elsewhere, although why is impossible to know. \n\nWithout more information and tests anything we say is only speculation. The hope is that this is acute kidney injury and, with time, he will recover. Since we don't know what caused the problem, we can't estimate the likelihood of that versus permanent kidney damage.", "comment": "White\nMale \n30\n5'5\n180-200lbs\n*of note he is not forthcoming  in disclosing drug use*\nPresented with acute back pain, carrying down leg.  Was taken to hospital, originally thought to be sciatica/pinched nerve that progressively got worse.  \nThey asked about drugs finally admitted to binge use of alcohol and cocaine.  His kidneys began failing and was sent to a bigger facility.  His kidneys failed and while waiting for dialyses his leg continued to get worse.  Was tested for compartment syndrome but it was ruled out.  \nI saw some medical journals online with brief mentions of cocaine and alcohol use  causing issues with kidneys and ischemia but nothing that explained it fully enough for me to be able to grasp what it meant.  He seems to be coherent and able to text not sure about his speech etc \n\nDoes anyone have experience with this type of situation?  Any idea of questions to ask him or what he's in for .  I don't really know what to ask you guys for just trying to get some advice I guess.   His history has made him terrified of disclosing the truth about his drug use. ", "post_id": "b31fcq", "comment_id": "eiwhcps"}, {"question": "I am a clinical social worker / psychotherapist and have worked with several women with similar problems and backgrounds. I strongly recommend a DBT program (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) with an emphasis on trauma. The preferred way to provide this is through a clinic. These programs include work with an individual therapist, plus weekly skills training groups which teach people how to manage their emotions and their relationships more effectively. Unfortunately, most clinic programs either have long waiting lists or they're too expensive for most people. The alternative is work with a DBT therapist who will provide her with the same training as well as support her through applying what she learns. If no one is available to do DBT, a good cognitive-behavioral therapist (CBT) can help her. You want to avoid therapy without structure or goals. She may also benefit from an anti-depressant medication provided by a psychiatrist (not her primary care doctor). This will have anti-anxiety effects as well.   \nBest luck with this. \n\ntl;dr -- She needs really good therapy. DBT/CBT works well for people with her problems.", "comment": "Alt acct.\n\nI need help finding out what my friend needs to overcome her problems in the long term. I'll list the objective, ostensible symptoms she displays toward the bottom but I'll provide some context first. Apologies for any formatting errors (phone user).\n\n\n**Context**\n\nFor as long as I've known her, she's had bouts of sadness/depression saying she feels very lonely when she's not around friends or loved ones. These have been very constant throughout our friendship in that she'll say and act very independent (whom she is very much so intellectually, academically, etc.). She's always felt uncomfortable being around too many people (strangers only) and has never had many friends. \n\nI think believe this stems from how much of a 'no bull-shit' attitude she has towards her close friends. It's not that she's an asshole by any means, in fact she's quite kind and thoughtful and we all agree, but she'll never tell people what they'd like to hear and instead tells them what they need to hear so they can grow to become a better person. One of those really weirdly smart type of person who thinks long game and what's best for humanity while doing everything they can in the short term for everyone around them. \n\nI found out a while ago she was heavily sexually abused by a close family member from a very young age for many years and when the rest of the family found out, they were able to put a stop to it and also took her to therapy... Unfortunately the therapy was really crappy and she refuses to see a therapist anymore (I've asked her many times to go see one to no avail) because of it. \n\nToday she was having one of those bouts of depression again and after talking to her for a long time I finally asked her as clearly and explicitly (in private) why she felt the way she felt and after some time she essentially told me that she feels as though no one likes her, like she's the one who has to put in the effort constantly to get friends/people to hang out with her, that the only reason her bf likes her is for the promise of sex. And as a result only has male friends (comparatively, the ratio of male to female friends she has is massive).\n\nWhat is some literature I can aim her towards or something I can show her that can help her? I realise a therapist would be best, so a professional can talk this with her... But if that's not an option?\n\n\n**Symptoms(?)**\n\n- (extreme?) sadness about once or twice a week.\n- night terrors/vivid nightmares that don't let her sleep\n- terrible sleep\n- heavily dislikes being alone and spending time by herself\n- dislikes being in large crowds of unfamiliar faces\n- lack of self-confidence and doesn't like her own body (self-esteem issues?)\n- many short-term relationships, rarely single but not really long-term either\n- has self-harmed in the past but got nothing out of it so stopped\n\n\nAny help is appreciated. Thank you", "post_id": "bdre32", "comment_id": "el0l4r2"}, {"question": "see a therapist. this isn't a one comment reddit kind of thing. you need to process a lot of stuff.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5upvya", "comment_id": "ddvxzvw"}, {"question": "Quick neurophysiological answer: Drugs artificially stimulate motivation and reward circuitry (among others). For some it enhances good feelings or provides a lift. Others have acquired through a combination of genetic, epigenetic, and developmental factors a predisposition toward understimulation of that circuitry. They compensate by using drugs,or engaging in high risk/reward behaviors. The first group are the \"normal\" people who are able to use drugs for pleasure, and quit if it becomes problematic. The second group are the \"addicts\" who continue to use despite negative consequences.", "comment": "Why do people take drugs?\nWhile their effect interests me it isn't something I think I'd be immediately interested in hence the analysis.\nI've looked in /r/drugs etc but they just say fun etc.. which ultimately is a bullsh*t reason.\nI was wondering if anyone could provide me a decent logical response.\nIs it because people feel unfulfilled? I've found that many people say \"because I want to\" but again that's not a real reason. Neither is why does anyone do anything because there's typically certifiable answers to that.\n\ntl;dr why drugs? no stupid answers.", "post_id": "23lq47", "comment_id": "cgysjgb"}, {"question": "Break it into small parts :)", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "b2d72c", "comment_id": "eisquyo"}, {"question": "I'm getting assessed tomorrow. I'm so terrified I won't be diagnosed that I'm thinking about not going. Ugh. \n\nIf I don't receive the diagnosis I will feel so invalidated and so unheard. I've been diagnosed borderline personality for a long time but so much of that diagnosis isn't me and everytime I talk to psychiatrists they hear I was diagnosed borderline before and they straight away assume I'm just making other symptoms up :(. I have discovered adhd and this subreddit in the last month or so and omg my life has changed so much even without meds or a diagnosis because I feel I understand myself better.\n\nI'm taking my husband in the hopes he will help me be heard and taken seriously.\n\nI am so glad you received a diagnosis but I totally understand why you would feel the way you do.", "comment": "I've been in about a year long process of getting an ADHD diagnosis and I was finally diagnosed today. Now I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I finally understand the root of my problems and can start to work on them, but on the other hand a diagnosis doesn't make me any less of a high school drop out. Life is fun.", "post_id": "akmefh", "comment_id": "ef62vv0"}, {"question": "As always, for a post without a question I'm going to lock this, but thank you for the update!", "comment": "Age: 25\n\nSex: F\n\nHeight: 5'7\"\n\nWeight: 150\n\nRace: White\n\nDuration of complaint: it was 2 weeks\n\nLocation: Northeast USA\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues: TBI, Epilepsy\n\nCurrent medications Keppra, Vimpat, (new) Haldol IM\n\n\n[Original Post](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/cg4a7x/am_i_hearingseeing_real_things_or_are_they_in_my/?st=jyytviab&sh=dc59ecb0)\n\nHi, I just want to thank this subreddit and the users for pointing me in the correct direction. I am currently in a treatment center that specializes in psychotic disorders and I'm allowed home on the weekend if I do well during the week. My current diagnosis is \"Psychotic Disorder NOS\". The psychiatrist believes I have schizophrenia but can't diagnose me with it since my symptoms had only progressed 2.5 weeks before I got help and for schizophrenia disagnosis, I would need to be symptomatic for a few months.\n\nI currently am still experiencing auditory hallucinations, but I am not confused by them anymore and I no longer follow their commands. \n\nAgain, thank you guys.", "post_id": "cmgbla", "comment_id": "ew27759"}, {"question": "Ultimately its a sedating antihistamine. In the UK its only licenced for itch. 100mg is the maximum recommended dose. ", "comment": "25 Male 250lbs 5' 10\" Caucasian \n\nOther medications are Prozac 40 mg/day\n\nI was prescribed hydroxyzine for anxiety. The goal is to just take the edge off to actually relax and not feel like I'm on edge all the time. Doctor gave me 50mg tabs to get more bang for the buck on insurance. \n\nDo the effect of hydroxyzine amplify with taking more?\nHow much is a dangerous amount? I've taken 300 mg and not felt much\nIs it worth asking the doctor for something else or just upping the dosage until the desired effect is achieved?\n\nThanks for any help and feedback!", "post_id": "8aes2t", "comment_id": "dwzhq6y"}, {"question": "If you can't keep your dignity, then I wouldn't stay.  I'm sure he is a good guy when sober and probably wouldn't hit on other chicks.  But when he's that sloshed, he has no semblance of judgment.  It might depend on how often this black-out thing happens... But if you've ultimately lost respect, it will probably be an uphill battle to keep the relationship going.    ", "comment": "Hi all,\nMy SO and I have been dating for a little over 2 years. \n\n6 months ago we moved to a new city together and it has been absolutely amazing. We spend every day together and love each other very much.\n\n Since we have started dating, I have known he has a problem with drinking. As he says, he has trouble stopping once he starts. I also like drinking, so it's hard because he has a different experience with alcohol than I do. \n\nMost of the time when we go drinking out it's okay, but once in a while he crosses a line and gets...weird. Not physical or abusive, but just out of his mind. He doesn't know how to speak, loses his motor abilities, dead eyes, etc. Again, it's not every time he drinks.\n\nLast weekend we went out to a bar for a friend's birthday. It didn't seem like he was drinking that much but before I knew what was happening he was *dark* drunk. He insisted we go to another bar near our house and I went for one drink but got annoyed because he wasn't making sense verbally / could barely sit on his barstool. I know it was not nice of me to desert him in that state, but i said \"fuck it\" and went home to sleep around 1am.\n\nAround 5am, he comes in and gets in bed, completely incoherent. I ask him where he was and he just seemed totally out of it. We went to sleep. The next morning, I looked at his phone and he had a new facebook friend, a girl he met at the bar. \n\nShe had FB messaged him saying she could see him outside the bar from her window and told him to get home safe. He asks her \"why she didn't go home with him\" and she says \"you were being weird and drunk, and you have a girlfriend\" to which he says \"great point.\" They end the conversation with him saying \"you're gorgeous and I tried\" and he had typed a message about how he was going to \"make her cum\" but hadn't sent it. \n\nHe has always been such a respectful guy and I was completely caught off guard by these messages (which I read the morning of Valentine's Day, ugh).\n\nHe didn't remember the girl or the messages and was completely humiliated / furious at himself. I broke up with him and asked him to stay with friends, and he has been completely understanding.\n\nWe were going to re-sign our lease this month and I was so happy at the thought of living with him for another year. Our relationship has been amazing, and both of us thought we would be together forever. I don't want to regret losing our apartment and life in this new city. Am I being too harsh by ending things? I'm so afraid of this happening again and I feel like I can't stay with him and keep my dignity intact.\n\nTL;DR: blackout drunk boyfriend of 2yrs. almost goes home with a random bar babe. We moved to a new city together and I need to decide whether to cut-and-run or try and rebuild.\n\nEDIT: Forgot to mention, he talked to the girl the next day to verify that nothing physical happened, and then told her they shouldn't speak again.", "post_id": "2wlbhi", "comment_id": "corwkeu"}, {"question": "Great job I'm sober with you today ", "comment": "Heading into my third day. I'm craving so damn bad. But I know I can do this. ", "post_id": "76xngp", "comment_id": "doi3e3i"}, {"question": "it's hard to stay together when you start young. he sounds not ready to settle down.", "comment": "Hey guys, I wanted your advice.\n\nI've been with my BF for almost 8 years now, since high school. I thought he was the love of my life and a genuine all-around good guy. Throughout our relationship we've had good and bad times, but still mainly great times. I love him a lot.\n\nHowever, on our 3rd year anniversary, he confesses that he went into a strip club. Supposedly for only 15 minutes and under the duress of his brother and cousin. Then last year, he caught feelings for his co-worker. Someone he had been bringing around me, acting like they were friends when really they were both emotionally cheating on their significant others (this girl also had a BF). This all accumulated into him kissing her and supposedly suddenly realizing he only wanted me.\n\nThen this last December, before Christmas, I found Facebook messages between my BF and his cousin's GF. Turns out they caught feelings for each other and had been messaging each other like crazy. But supposedly they \"loved\" their BF/GF so much that they were just going to pretend like things never happened.  ", "post_id": "5msdqx", "comment_id": "dc60gx0"}, {"question": "Unconditional positive regard is typically associated with Rogerian/Humanistic/Person Centered therapy.  \n\nI am not familiar with \"therapeutic love\" and the \"negative remarks\" sounds more like Perls.\n\nWhere are you getting your info about psychodynamic therapy ?", "comment": "Hello,\n\nQuestion regarding psychodynamic therapy: is it therapist job to reparent the client, provide secure attachement base, show the client they are lovable and provide corrective experience with primary attachement figure? I know it is the case for some other forms of therapy if this is what client needs. I.e. To talk to client in a way client should be talked to by parents. Do psychodynamic therapist offer unconditional possitive regard or this is not the part of therapy and actually opposite: the therapist challenges the client and tells them sometimes critical and negative remarks about them? What about \"therapeutic love\" ? Is it important that client feels this or not in this form of therapy? \n\nI am asking casue I have certain critique for my ex therapist but I realize that maybe I dont know enough about psychodynamic therapy to expect i.e unconditional possitive regard or that therapist is interested in my life in general and they express that. \nI read that Freud described therapy as \"Die Heilung durch die Liebe\" (healing through love) but my therapist tells me it is not nessesary for therapist to care so deeply and they can still have great results. \n\nI would appreciate information about the importance of the bond in this type of therapy.", "post_id": "gp5fst", "comment_id": "frmfr2l"}, {"question": "There is no problem combining stimulants and SSRIs (and Wellbutrin), and that combination is common. Wellbutrin is also used for ADHD, but it's less effective overall than stimulants.", "comment": "Weird question. \n\nI\u2019m a 22F with anxiety, depression, PTSD, combined presentation ADHD. My ADHD is 99th percentile per the DSM-IV, so medication has been recommended. Weight is 125 pounds, height is 5\u20194.\n\nI\u2019m on 150 mg Zoloft, 150 mg Welbutrin (it helped with the sleepiness i got from my Zoloft just a bit)\n\nI know SSRIs and ADHD meds can be problematic. Are there any ADHD meds specifically that are made for this purpose or ones that have a decreased likelihood of negative interactions?", "post_id": "ez98sg", "comment_id": "fglz0cn"}, {"question": "Are you currently in therapy?   If not, then I would recommend it as there are a lot of factors at play that are best addressed that way.   \n\nIt might also be worth changing your goal to something of getting to know her better and sharing about yourself.   ", "comment": "hi everyone,\n\nI see a girl once a week at a volunteer thing for a few hours each time. It\u2019s been going on for about 3 months. Sometimes we are together for most of the time, sometimes just a small part of it.  Sometimes it seems like she\u2019s really flirty (unless i\u2019m misinterpreting friendliness, but it seems like i\u2019m not), and sometimes a bit cold. I have social anxiety and i get way too concerned about how she is. After the flirty days i am happy the rest of the week, after the cold days, i\u2019m depressed all week. \n\nI don\u2019t know how to stop it. I also spend the rest of the week going over our interactions in my head even though i try really hard to stop myself. And i have been thinking of and writing down things to say just in case we are together longer than i can think of interesting topics to talk about. But when i see her again each time, now i feel like i\u2019m way more anxious and also depending more on the things i\u2019ve written down so that when i bring them up, they seem dull even to me because i don\u2019t feel spontaneous which i usually am around friends. \n\nI have great friends who think i\u2019m interesting and fun, but this is making me feel boring and not worthwhile, which most interactions with women who i like make feel like. And i feel like she is starting to think i\u2019m dull too because of this. I also keep bringing up the things we've successfully talked about in previous weeks (like tv shows we like, and the pretty generic 'how was your week') which i think is making me seem repetitive and safe which i am usually not. She's very clever and funny and i feel like i'm leaving it all to her to bring up things to talk about, and mostly i contribute repetitiveness and forced topics.\n\nAlso i\u2019m feeling more and more anxious, so i don\u2019t really talk much in our group chats (there's around four of us). I tend to be nervous in group chats usually (i know, i have a lot of issues!). I have also been drinking a few shots of scotch before to kill my anxiety a little bit. It seems to help. I tried beta blockers too, but they made me feel even more dull.\n\nThe ups and downs are pretty emotionally draining. My volunteer thing used to be fun and i like everyone there. I feel like i\u2019m ruining that for myself, and maybe the other volunteers, along with any chance i might have had with her. I want to break out of this downward spiral and i was hoping someone here could help me. ", "post_id": "1ztdx8", "comment_id": "cfxda1y"}, {"question": "Depression, generalized anxiety and binge eating disorder. Usually able to function, but I did have to leave a job last year because I was too depressed to come in for a few weeks. I had doctors notes not even saying it was depression, just that I was medically advised to be off work renewed each week, but I wasn\u2019t there long enough to qualify for FLMA. ", "comment": "Do you guys deal with these issues as well? My depression was technically my first PCOS symptom, if you want to call it that. 15 years later and I still find myself sitting here, hating myself, feeling useless, and wanting to do nothing except stay in bed. It's been bad enough lately that I avoid leaving the house. I'm medicated and see a doctor for these issues but I don't know... I guess I'll just do my best to ride the wave. I just needed to talk about this a bit with people who might understand. Thanks for reading.", "post_id": "9347r4", "comment_id": "e3az9pv"}, {"question": "The key would be: how soon will you live together and plan a marriage?", "comment": "I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. We rarely talk throughout the week and only see each other on weekends. I send him messages but I rarely get a response or I get a response days later. I know he is extremely busy and that's why I have remained patient. When we are together, it's great. He is super affectionate and always tries to do what makes me happy, but he is not at all vocal about his feelings. I have a 5 year old daughter and he is good with her too...but he doesn't see her very much. I feel like because we rarely talk throughout the week, he is just not interested in my daily life or seeing if I am okay. I think a lot of this is just who he is rather than whether he likes me or not, and that's why I am trying to figure out whether I am overreacting or if I should just stay patient in hopes that he will eventually take more of an active role in my life. He is an extremely positive person and is the most mentally stable person I have ever met. I am just so confused about what he wants with me and whether or not I am trying to rush things. Help :(", "post_id": "6hc0z4", "comment_id": "dix58w4"}, {"question": "Wheres home and wheres here? ", "comment": "Hi there, I'm a foreign student who's ADHD, I can not afford the costs of getting re-diagnosed here so would it be possible to get proof from my country like medical documents, etc, to get a prescription and avoid the tremendous fees? \n\nThank you!", "post_id": "5zi9of", "comment_id": "deys806"}, {"question": "Oh gosh...I'm so sorry to hear this happened and that it's being swept under the rug. Maybe contact big name organizations like the ACLU? Or LGBTQ news outlets might be sympathetic to this incident as well and would publish the story. I could see networks like VICE doing a story on it too maybe.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fg7l6f", "comment_id": "fk2zz89"}, {"question": "An 0.01% chance of fatal insomnia sounds small, but it is actually not even small enough! There have been fewer than ten cases of sporadic fatal insomnia documented ever, worldwide. Getting 5-6 hours of sleep is maybe not great, but it's not going to cause harm (other than feeling tired) over just a few weeks. That doesn't hit the first criterion of fatal insomnia. You don't have the other symptoms. None of this sounds like fatal insomnia.\n\nWhat you are experiencing sounds like routine poor sleep. It could be anxiety, it could be depression, it could be thyroid. Poor sleep is a very nonspecific symptom. But you are having the heavy-guns workup done, it seems, and I hope you can at least let go of the unreasonable fear of what could be the cause.", "comment": "Age: 20\n\nSex: Male \n\nHeight: 5'11\" or 179cm\n\nWeight: 12 st 10 lb or 80.9 kg\n\nRace: British White\n\nDuration of complaint: 13 days\n\nCurrent Medications: Melatonin, 5HTP, Clonazepam\n\nLocation: N/A\n\nCurrent existing medical issues: N/A \n\nPhoto: N/A\n\n​\n\nI feel like I am being silly but I have been waking up pretty much solidly for 13 days ALWAYS after 5-6 hours of sleep I will admit I have a lot of anxiety, I am a hypochondriac, I have had bad spells of sleep before. I am mainly worried because I don't know how fast or rapidly, \"rapid\" cognitive decline is...? I mean that could to me mean anything between months to DAYS but so far I don't feel as if I particularly have dementia? It's not easy to say but my memory of the past week is pretty clear and I can even recall what I did yesterday so I don't think so.\n\n​\n\nAs for ataxia I don't seem to have trouble walking that is particularly obvious however I do feel a bit weird when beginning walking or continuing to walk at times almost as if the balance goes just a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit lopsided which concerns me but that could all be due to the fact that I'm taking Clonazepam. \n\n​\n\nThe thing I'm most worried about is that I feel extremely alone because I've tried searching the net for people who have slept poorly as in waking up after 5-6 hours consistently for an extended period of time with just regular insomnia to no avail. It's always people saying they couldn't sleep for 1-3 days, 0 hours of sleep, are they gonna die etc etc. I myself have had this before but resolved it fairly quickly and it took nothing LIKE 13 days.\n\nI do STILL get the tired feeling and I do STILL sleep but it's gotten to the point where most days (not all there is some fluctuation) I feel like passing out but for whatever reason I physically since I was young have always been unable to do so (at least in my experience thus far). \n\nI have been to a sleep physician and he himself (without any formal tests as of yet) has told me that \"I do not have it\" and that he thinks it's Health Anxiety that is causing this but I really don't know if health anxiety alone could cause a problem that has been effecting me this badly for 13 days straight. This sleep physician put me on a plan where I turn off my computer and devices that connect to the internet at 11 (I take 5HTP and melatonin at this point), take clonazepam and prepare for bed if I already haven't at 11:30 and sleep at midnight to the maximum time limit of 7:30. \n\nFor the past few days I felt better throughout the day which was really pleasant but then as of yesterday I felt like I was going to goddamn pass out at around \\~8pm onwards and I felt really awful and unwell. That night, when I went to bed finally I basically passed out (which I can do for the record at night) but still woke up at 5:50 and today I just still feel like shit and I feel like there's no hope because I've found no one else out there like me. \n\n​\n\nJust to note I will have a polysomnograph carried out on me tomorrow night at my house (because private healthcare is nice like that). \n\n​\n\nAnother note: To be honest I don't think I have it due to the sheer amount of fluctuation in my symptoms of feeling tired to not feeling as tired whereas SFI is progressive and often doesn't have insomnia as the main complaint from what I've seen on MSD manuals and some texts. That doesn't mean I'm not quite worried about something else being the underlying cause of this e.g. Hyperthroidism.\n\n​\n\nAny thoughts?", "post_id": "av12jg", "comment_id": "ehbzita"}, {"question": "I think the most important thing is to find a university that's a good fit for you.  Every school, high school, university, etc. has it's own culture.  Aside from just academics, popularity, and the importance of the school's prestige, the culture is one of the most important factors in determining your success I believe.  \n\nI was an extremely nerdy, liberal, punk rocker kid in a town and school that had for the most part a conservative, anti-intellectual, anti-diversity vibe.  On top of that, almost of all the school's resources were put towards the football team and players were treated with a very unfair bias.  For the most part, I hated high school with a passion and always felt like an outcast.  \n\nI made it a point to pick a college that had very little fraternity/sorority involvement (they had some but weren't allowed to have houses on campus), no football team (funny now as an adult, I absolutely love football and kind of wish I went to college with a big team).  When I toured my college, I saw a lot of punks, skaters, hippies, artsy types and all sorts of \"weirdos\" that instantly made me feel like it was the place for me.   \n\nMaybe consider looking at different universities until you find one that feels like one you want to make your home.  One where it doesn't seem like the students are all about the stupid social hierarchy BS that's common in high schools.  \n\nHope this helps some.\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "I graduated hs June 2016 but I still feel mentally stuck there. \n\nI thought university was going to be different but it's high school 2.0 in a lot of aspects especially now with social media, just with more freedom. \n\nI got really stressed out last year so I'm on a gap year now and I have a full time job so I'm away from that a bit but still feel kinda traumatized. \n\nHigh school was a very cliquey, traumatizing time for me. \n\nI cared waaaaaaaay more about what others thought about me then having my own sense of self and mental ego boundaries and growing into myself per say. \n\nIt was an awful, depressing time where I subconsciously and sometimes consciously went to school feel inadequate because I wasn't rich, popular, \"cool\" and now that I'm out of it I have very low self confidence even though there's no need to, I'm not in the p\u00e9tri fish anymore.\n\nFor as long as I could remember I couldn't wait to be out of school and in the real world\n\nI'm still very superficial since I went to a very superficial school and all these awful superficial beliefs are in my mind. \n\nI want to focus on me and only me but I get so caught up in gossip and other people's lives due to high school conditioning and awful narcissistic teachers who abused boundaries and acted like total control freaks. \n\nI would go to school with crippling anxiety most of the time but I would just push myself and dissociate and say I'm ok when I really was not. \n\nDoes anyone know techniques to get rid of school system induced mental brainwash ?\n\nEvery since 6th grade onwards school was very traumatic for me, the social aspect. ", "post_id": "7zpctw", "comment_id": "dupqjm1"}, {"question": "A CBC does not and cannot detect pregnancy. You need a pregnancy test. The ones you can buy in many stores are adequate for this use.", "comment": "So I had my blood test last week Saturday because I've been sick for 3 days. My doctor suspected that I might be dengue positive, but the test came out negative. I had unprotected sex a month ago and I was supposed to have my period this last week of August. Note that I also have PCOS so I can't really predict when my period will come but usually it comes on the first or last week of the month. I missed it this month and I've been having symptoms of what could be pregnancy or PMS. I have food aversions, extremely swollen breasts, protruding nipples, cramps, nausea, and I just feel generally sick and fatigued. We aren't really trying to get pregnant but If I am I'd still be happy.\n\n​\n\nMy Information:\n\nFemale\n\n23\n\n5'0\"\n\n53kg\n\nVaping\n\n​\n\n​\n\nCBC:\n\nHematocrit: 0.38\n\nHemoglobin: 130\n\nRBC: 4.37\n\nWBC: 3.5\n\nPlatelet Count: 234\n\n​\n\nThank you!", "post_id": "cysz0x", "comment_id": "eytzzb0"}, {"question": "That's a pretty common issue, even if not \"no emotion \" many people only seem to feel anger and happiness. This is a major theme in anger , abuse and general men's therapy work. \n\nThere are lots of tools and techniques that are useful for identifying emotion.", "comment": "I've seen a few therapists and it seems like they focus on helping people with not feeling sad or anxious, but my problem is that I don't feel anything at all, no happiness, no sadness, no stress. I just feel nothing. The therapists I've seen don't really seem to understand me, they still treat me as if I still feel anxious or sad. Is it even possible for therapy still help with this?", "post_id": "ho3vv1", "comment_id": "fxfhonu"}, {"question": "Talk to a therapist. You could be depressed and/or have some childhood triggers.", "comment": "I (21 M) have been with her (20 f) for a year and two months. We got into the relationship only a few months after I left a very emotionally damaging partnership. We have a good relationship built on trust and love for each other. Despite this I struggle to have any strong emotional connection even in intimate moments, I don't feel, nor have I ever felt in love with her, even though I feel as if I have every reason to be. We got married in March because she is from another country and we needed to\u00a0start the Visa process. I have felt quite a lot of pressure that her happiness/livelihood rests on me. (This feeling stems purely from the situation, not anything that she has done directly). I love her very much and we get along in almost every way, and our personalities complement each other and she is more patient with me than I could ever deserve. But I don't have the connection with her that I had in my previous relationship, and it puts a strain on us because It makes me unsure if I can ever be truly happy with her. We've been considering her going back home to her country so that I can have some space and time to think. But this does scare me, because even with this problem, I am afraid to lose her.\n\nTl;dr\nI'm unable to feel any passionate emotion towards her even though we do have a functional relationship. Because of this I'm not sure if I can be happy. However I feel guilty/as if I'm making a mistake by ending the relationship. ", "post_id": "6vi318", "comment_id": "dm0fr2k"}, {"question": "Infp i took the official one!", "comment": "I took this test recently: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp\nand ended up with INFP. It's pretty spot on, and I like to look through this site for more interpretation:\n\nhttp://www.truity.com/personality-type/infp\n\n\n\nI'm interested to see what your types are because we all have BPD in common at least.", "post_id": "2jnu6d", "comment_id": "cldjofv"}, {"question": "you should ALWAYS ask. that's a big problem of reddit folks; not clarify and defining enough.", "comment": "If they're looking for a relationship or just friends/etc?", "post_id": "6be87k", "comment_id": "dhlwjlo"}, {"question": "If you are worried about being judged or disliked,  i recommend seeing a therapist who has experience working with \"difficult \" patients.  I do forensic work , so I am pretty used to being lied to and manipulated. I have also worked with violent offenders , so I am not easily scared off.\n\nThere are plenty of therapists who will happy to work with you , just as you are.", "comment": "I am highly manipulative, sadistic, all I do is play mind games and I\u2019m extremely calculated. I use everyone and throw them away when I\u2019m done. If I\u2019m not in control of a situation/conversation, I\u2019m extremely uncomfortable and get angry. \n\nWhen I determine who I actually would WANT to have around, I calculate their worth or whether I can benefit from them or not. \n\nI don\u2019t always play games to hurt people, but to manipulate them into liking me. With every conversation is an ulterior motive, family as well. \n\nI think I\u2019m better than everyone. Maybe not as smart as somebody, or as attractive, but collectively, with personality and looks, depth, interests, I am. Doesn\u2019t everyone? When I ask.. everyone says they don\u2019t think they are. Are they lying?\n\nI don\u2019t like anyone that much, I look down to all of my peers and mostly everyone else. If I\u2019m interested in someone, I talk to them until I figure them out.. and then I\u2019m bored. \nI have no true friends because I see no one as equal. I feel no empathy. \nOf course feeling grandiose has its benefits, confidence, but it\u2019s lonely and obviously not normal. \n\n\nMy current partner wants me to talk to someone because they think I have antisocial personality disorder.\nEven thinking about seeing a therapist and opening up  scares me, someone seeing who I am, I could never!But I want to feel understood and not looked at as a terrible person.\n\n\nWhat is this? \nDo I just lie? Can I tell the truth to a potential future therapist? Wouldn\u2019t you think I\u2019m a POS?", "post_id": "hufpib", "comment_id": "fynq26i"}, {"question": "I have burned many bridges\n\nYou can't cross them again", "comment": "I am currently trying to put some space between me and my FP, which is actually not that hard because he rarely speaks to me anymore. I just feel like he thinks that I either don't like him, or that I'm not interesting anymore, that he thinks I'm too much work to keep being friends with, or just simply annoying. \n\nWe used to talk every day, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, but he has kind of put me aside. He talks to other people now and when we hang out it's just awkward and he can get kind of mean. He makes me nervous, and we both often need alcohol to be our true selves with each other. I can get really quite when people talk about things rather than emotional stuff, and when I hang with him and my bf, they only talk about cars, speakers and other music stuff, or games I haven't played or aren't interested in, and I can't get a word in edgewise. I get cut off when I talk, the music I play isn't appreciated (he literally says it sucks) and gets skipped. I know that he sometimes goes over the edge when teasing me because he wants a reaction, but by that time I'm already emotionally out the door and can't come with a witty come-back or laugh it off, so it becomes even more awkward. \n\nLast time we hung out he randomly hugged me and asked me why I'm so unapproachable, and it just breaks my heart. Later that night we danced really intimately together after having had a heartfelt discussion about another friend of his, and I felt that we would get back on track after that, but no. He is frustrated, I get that, but for my mental well being, I just need space. \n\nSo. \n\nHave you ever been in a situation like that where you had to not be in contact with your FP or someone else, what happened, how did they react, and how long did you not speak for?", "post_id": "f5pj2v", "comment_id": "fi03xkf"}, {"question": "I never say that a side effect can\u2019t happen, but twitching is not a standard Cymbalta or trazodone side effect. If you took Cymbalta before and didn\u2019t have that problem I\u2019m even less inclined to put the blame there.\n\nCould it be from stopping trazodone? Conceivably, but again not common. Maybe it is some unusual result of the interaction. Maybe it\u2019s unrelated and the timing is a coincidence.\n\nIf it continues to get better and the work up doesn\u2019t find anything probably there will never be an explanation, which in some ways is the best (no medical news is good news). I would leave it to the neurologist to manage.", "comment": "I am 32/F, 119 lbs, taking Cymbalta (60 mg) for depression. Took Trazodone (25-50 mg) recently for 4 months but stopped 2 months ago for sleep. \n\nI have developed twitching since the combination of the two for about 7 months now. The twitching isn't as bad as when it started but it's still really annoying. It only happens in the legs 95% of the time. \n\nNerve test says I am normal. Neurologist says that it could be from the medicine Cymbalta but not sure. He wants me to do an MRI to see. \n\nThe thing is that I was on Cymbalta for almost 10 years, I started tapering Cymbalta last year and was reintroduced 7 months ago (hence the twitching started with the combo of Trazodone). Could it be Cymbalta or the Trazodone still haven't left my system? I'm so confused.", "post_id": "8f9y78", "comment_id": "dy29oos"}, {"question": "Based only on this information alone, it doesn't really sound like \"compulsive \" lying.  Maybe he lies about other things,  but this sounds like a concerted and careful (albeit sloppy and not well-done) effort to paint his romantic life in a certain way. This is a pretty classic \"I have a girlfriend in Canada,\" \"I have a girlfriend from summer camp\" lie , but with poor insight,  since these girls exist in your community. \n\nRelationships and sex can be a huge source of anxiety in early adulthood.  One way to deal with this is to not pay much mind. He sounds awfully immature,  and challenging him or investigating his claims may fuel him more and make his love life feel more important. \n\nNow, if he is trying to contact younger girls online,  he could potentially get in trouble,  depending on where you live. Confronting him about the possible consequences may not be a bad idea . If you can leave out implications (like that you think it is gross or perverted), it may be more impactful.  He may not be able to control his thoughts and attraction,  the focus can be on controlling illegal/risky behavior.", "comment": "Within my friend group there is one friend in particular who always seems to be lying especially about girls he has talked to or dated in the past. I first became aware of this when this friend had been talking about this one girl pretty frequently. He was talking about how they had hung out a lot and they even engaged in some sexual activity. He even said at one point he was going to fly out to Hawaii with her. It came to my realization soon after that this wasn't true. I found out that she had a boyfriend and was in a serious committed relationship. \n\nThis didn't stop here however, as he continued to tell stories and lie about his past girlfriends that he has had. He has also discussed how he dated and or had intimate relations with two other girls. It all seemed pretty unlikely to me so I asked the girls about him and they confirmed to our surprise that they had never been in any sort of relationship with him and they may have not even liked him that much. \n\nIt seemed to get even weirder after he went off to college. He had said he met a girl there and they were in a relationship. However, he would rarely talk about her, I never saw a picture of her, and he would always seem to avoid talking about the subject. She seemed to fade out of the picture until he got with his new and current \"girlfriend.\" There is more evidence to back this girl up as I have seen them hang out together and they seem to at least be friends. Although I am unsure if this goes anywhere past friendship because some conversations seem forced and fake.\n\nFinally, I am also getting concerned after learning from friends of ours that he has hit up quite a bit of girls on instagram or snapchat that appear to be too young for him. He is a freshman in college and he has hit up girls who are freshman and sophomores from our high school and it is fairly odd. I am not sure how to handle this situation or if I should bring this up to him.", "post_id": "gq6hav", "comment_id": "frrwdcm"}, {"question": "Bookmarked and saved. Will come back to this once I hit \"Wise Grandpa\"", "comment": "Beginner - Day 1 to 7\n\nWarrior - Day 7 to 14\n\nSuicidal Maniac - Day 14 to 21\n\nRefugee - Day 21 to 30\n\nYoung monk - Day 30 to 45\n\nMonk - Day 45 to 60\n\nThe Wise Grandpa - Day 60 to 70\n\nVeteran - Day 70 to 80\n\nLegendary Veteran - Day 80 to 90\n\nThe Crippled Hero - Day 90 to 100\n\nThe Forgotten Hero - Day 100 to 120\n\nKing - Day 120 to 150\n\nDemigod - Day 150 to 180\n\nLazarus - Day 180 to 210\n\nChild of the Earth - Day 210 to 260\n\nFather of the Earth - Day 260 to 300\n\nThe Broken One - Day 300 - 330\n\nThe Monster - Day 330 to 360\n\n*The Master* - Day 360 +", "post_id": "8ahh4u", "comment_id": "dwzln8m"}, {"question": "Yep, what Mr.VJ said.  During a long conversation, hopefully you've figured out a shared interest or two that you have.  Ask the person for their number or if that's too anxiety producing for you, give them yours.  \n\n\"Hey, here.  Take my number.  Give me a call or text some time if you want to get together and do ______________.\"\n\n\nPubs are not for everyone, but they're clich\u00e9 in a way because they're a great place to meet people or get to know people in a neutral environment.  I mean pub = public house.  That way when friendships/relationships are beginning on the superficial level, nobody feels inclined to show where they live and it's an easy out if the two of you aren't getting on well, whether it's platonic or romantic.  \n\n\nI think movies are a clich\u00e9 that is a really bad idea for either dates or making friends.  You can't talk in a movie.  You might as well not even be there together.  The clich\u00e9 generally comes from the idea that it's a dark and if not crowded, private place for teenagers to make out and not even pay attention to the movie.  If you're not on that level with someone, movies are generally a pretty bad idea.  ", "comment": "I'm a uni student (20, Australia), and I think I'm fairly good at individual conversations. I can be engaging, and engage with the other person, carry a pretty good conversation when things are right. But I don't know how to extend things beyond a single conversation naturally, or at all.\n\nCreating any sort of ongoing relationship seems difficult. I wasn't very successful socially in highschool, and that was back when you were stuck with the same people day after day. How do I try and create repeat interactions with people I click with in a conversation without imposing myself as a stranger of sounding like a kid asking if they want to go on a playdate?\n\nI know some of the cliche things (ask to go see a film, go to a pub), but they feel forced and overly forward. I understand the idea that such an offer should feel open and entirely optional, but actually achieving that is another story. It would be easier if I had a friend group and gave them the offer to join something with us, but if I had a group I wouldn't be asking a question here, would I?\n\nI feel like I'm 90% of the way to being socially successful, but that last 10% is my downfall. I'm not really dealing with social anxiety, but I'm on the mild end of the autistic spectrum and have had to slowly build up my skills and learn the social scripts, and I'm missing a few of the keystone ones.", "post_id": "8icjlf", "comment_id": "dyr7b1m"}, {"question": "Do you actually love him or do you love what you thought the two of you could be? You said that \u201cfinally you found someone you liked that you could date\u201d... do you feel as though you don\u2019t have any other options other than him? It sounds as though a lot of the relationship was unhealthy, and that you were hanging on because you thought it could one day, maybe, eventually be good?", "comment": "So earlier in 2017, in early July I think, there was a new guy at work. I'm gay and had a little crush on him at first glance. He started to talk to me and invited me to hang out. He was 17 and I was 19. He was very immature, but I really liked him, despite his repulsive personality. I don't know why but I didn't care about it, there were other aspects I really liked about him, he's actually pretty similar to me. Then he mentioned casually that he was Bisexual. Holy shit my mind went crazy. This was the first time I met a guy who I liked that I could actually date!! So I told him I was gay a few days later... and he was shocked lol\n\nThen on my 20th birthday we hung out (He just had his 18th birthday recently btw), just the two of us... and the next day he asked if that was like a date. And then, what felt like a miracle we started dating.\nIt started out great, we went on a few nice dates...\n\nBut as time went on he became more and more neglectful...\nHe just didn't want to go on dates ever, he said he was always too busy. He never did much in the relationship, I was the one always wanting to hang out with him. Every 3 weeks of neglecting me he'd be a really nice boyfriend, and then go back to ignoring me...\nHe actually sort of made fun of me a lot and was barely ever romantic.\nWhen I told him I felt like he never tried in the relationship he accused me of a bunch of awful things and questioned why I even loved him...\nBut that was online, before when I told him he hugged me and said he was sorry...\nWell I'll skip to then end, on December 1st... I told him I missed him and loved him because he had been busy for a week...\nand he dumped me... over text...\n\nHe said it wasn't my fault... he said he wasn't ready for a relationship and that... he didn't feel the same for me as I did for him\nI cried all night until I drank and passed out\nThen I was depressed for a week\nWe are still friends... we plat games online together a lot... I see him at work all the time... every time I see him I feel a physical pain in my chest though and I hate it... it only happens at first then it stops\n\nThe problem I have is... I cannot get him out of my mind... I'm in love with him... but I shouldn't be\nI think about him everyday all the time, and I'm not exaggerating\nI have been thinking about him everyday for the last 6 months.\nI still jump at the chance to be with him, I still think there's a chance for us to be together again\nI had a long shift with him today, and it was so painful...he kept talking to me and being nice and it hurt so much... Whenever he calls me dude or man, or any other friendly term, it depresses me...\nHe's hanging out with his friends right now and I'm really jealous of them\nI always want to hang out with him and only him and it's affecting my daily life...\n\nHe said he's moving to different state nearby with his ex, who is a girl. Maybe he loves her instead of me... When he told me the news I cried. He won't do it until next year around August.. I'm really jealous... I want to be the one to move in with him, not her... \nI don't know if there is anything that can help me or not...", "post_id": "7mkbls", "comment_id": "drupoj4"}, {"question": "Go see a professional therapist. ", "comment": "My mother (PTSD diagnosed Hypertention Type) was forced out of my life when I was 12. She had a very bad cocaine/crack problem. My father and I are civil but I don't interact with him or any of my family at alI. But I have a desire to be around people, ESPECIALLY WOMEN. I have no desire to be develop friendships with men unless I am in a relationship . I am a great , great boyfriend ( i think). The moment I had my acid trip 3 years told me that who I am. I am a person who desires to be liked, I constantly think about what people think about me. I love talking to people about any topic at all. I consider myself philosophical/intelligent. I crave social interaction of any type. My need for social interaction has caused me to not even take care of my own life. How do I fix the desire to be 'taken care of.'", "post_id": "24bmsp", "comment_id": "ch5wil7"}, {"question": "Hey, saw this post on new.\n\nYou've hit a point in your life where you're allowing change, but it's not easy. Everyone always put emphasis on how making a change is all you need but everyone neglects the hard work required to push through.\n\nThe scratching is because you've taken away your numbing agent. Things will feel harsher or more real for a while but identify the main goals and focus on them first.\n\nLike you said, you don't want to continue down this path, and the only way for you to remember that is to keep a clear and sober mind. Acknowledge the hardships and remember that it's because you have to rebuild your foundations so that whatever you replace your alcoholism with can have a chance.", "comment": "Sunday the 6th i finally admitted that i have a problem. Saturday at 709pm or at least thats when i closed my tab. \nIn December events out of my control caused me to lose my home. What was in my control was saving money to put towards another apartment however i did not save a dime. I spent almost every penny on rum or beer over the next month. I have been homeless for 8 days now. Saturday after i closed my tab i walked to my car reclined the seat and tossed my keys into the passenger seat of the vehicle. At 1030pm the same night i was awoken by the police \"to make sure i was ok and had permission to be on the premises\" following our conversation i was lucky i did not get charged with a dui, trespassing, or vagrancy (an ordinance in our town makes it illegal to sleep anywhere but a home, hotel, campground, or shelter) the officers let me take an uber to my adress on my license. I slept on the beach Saturday night. Sunday i decided i was done drinking before i either ruined my life or make it far worse. Sunday was easy it took me a little longer then usual to fall asleep but nothing to major. Yesterday was a little harder made it through work (other then coming in a little hungover my drinking never got in the way of my job) instead of buying a bottle or going to a bar i went to the gym and took a nice 3 hour walk to clear my head. Around 11 or so i started to see flashing lights when I closed my eyes. Took me about 2 hours to fall asleep. Today has been the worst day so far. Today i told my boss whats been going on and he told me he backs me 100%. He wanted to get me a hotel room until i saved up enogh money to get back on my feet. I couldn't let him. Ive been trying to figure out all day why i declined. I have been going to meetings for the last 2 days they seemed to help a lottle bit but after i left tonight i burst into tears. I spent the last of my money on a hotel room tonight because i knew if i didnt i would be at a bar right now. I dont want to live like this anylonger. Ive been scratching my legs raw for the last few hours and im freaking out and have no other outlet right now. Thank you.", "post_id": "ae3pvw", "comment_id": "edm6jj8"}, {"question": "I'm very sorry about what you went through. I highly doubt we are Facebook friends but I'm sorry for what I have posted regardless. I was sexually assaulted twice within the past year and I just want others to come forward with their crimes and realize that these things happen, and we need to change how things are.\n\nHowever, I'm very sorry regardless and you deserve to not have to read those articles if you don't want to. It's good you took a stand at the very least to make yourself more sane. I hope you can reach out to someone about what happened: A friend, family member, therapist, the internet, or even me. Remember you did not deserve what happened to you!", "comment": "Last year I was frequently verbally berated, beaten, and raped by my (now ex) boyfriend. I still have panic attacks and flashbacks at night and during sex. I've been smoking cigarettes and hurting myself frequently ever since I left him. I haven't told anyone. I can't trust anyone. I want to die all the time.  \n\nSome of my friends/acquaintances from high school are diehard feminists. It's very cool; I am too. However, they post daily articles about sexual assault, catcalling, domestic abuse, etc., and it's extremely painful for me. Awareness is great, and I would appreciate their efforts a lot more if I didn't have this baggage. But at this point, I just can't stand to read another article about sad, broken women, because I don't want to remember how sad and broken I am.", "post_id": "2lpn3j", "comment_id": "clxm9lw"}, {"question": "\"...between grief and nothing, I will take grief\"- William Faulkner", "comment": "Brief backstory: Never been in a relationship. Went on dates with one person for a couple months, and had a fuck buddy whom I wasn't attracted to, but did it with because she was the only one willing. \n\nI'm at the age where all my friends are getting married, yet I still have trouble finding even first dates that don't ghost or stand me up. My social media newsfeed is chalk full of romantic vacations and selfies in exotic locales that it starts to make my chest heavy. I'm trying to be happy alone (that's the advice right?), but at the same time I feel as if trying to add another person into my life is a recipe for disaster (my parents divorced when I was a toddler, and I have underlying suspicions that I may harm a partner because of unresolved issues on my part).\n\nAt the same time I'm looking through relationship subreddits hearing about the hell some people are going through, whether it be situations they put themselves into or scenarios that aren't their fault. \n\nIt's late and I admit I may be overthinking this, but I would like to know if your past or present relationships have made your reconsider whether or not relationships were not worth the trouble you had to put up with, or were more positively significant because of them.", "post_id": "6ekk54", "comment_id": "dibaehs"}, {"question": "Start hunting for a new job now before you have a big gap on your resume.  No need to even put this job on there you've been there so little time. Get out now. ", "comment": "So I just got a nice new job about 4 weeks ago. I was excited about it and it seemed to be a great jumping off point for my career. My boss was well respected outside our corporation, she had a lot of successful meetings and awards, and was seemingly on a path to success where she was going to drag me along.\n\nWell, as the time has passed I realize that she is not at all who people think she is. I took an amateur psychopathy test on her behalf and it spells her out to a T. \n\nWhat pushed me was an event today when she flew off the handle and screamed at a long term co-worker over an incredibly innocuous comment. I have seen small events like this happen, but not to this level. It was full on bullying and disgusting behavior. \n\nI will add that I have been having some strong second thoughts about taking the job after a few incidents that have involved me, and older employees who have worked for her are beaten down and choose not to fight back, which I can understand. \n\nRight now I am feeling like I made a big mistake, taking a job without the full knowledge of what I was getting into. I will spend the weekend applying to jobs to find an escape route. \n\nI know that getting her fired will be very difficult because of her seniority.", "post_id": "2hl7p7", "comment_id": "ckts1nv"}, {"question": "That change won't be happening for at most 18 months. For now use the old number.", "comment": "9 8 8", "post_id": "eajdg7", "comment_id": "fasll46"}, {"question": "Why are you being prescribed lorazepam of all things? What dose are you prescribed?", "comment": "I am almost 20, and I started taking lorazepram in addition to an antidepressant. I was perfectly fine on my antidepressants for weeks. However, a couple of days into taking a benzo, I had insomnia one day and then the day after I had horrible muscle pain and had a bout of depression and thoughts of killing myself. I stopped taking the drug even though it seems like benzos are supposed to help you \"calm down\".\nAnyways, have any of you had bad reactions with benzodiazepines? Is this uncommon? I don't really know anything about these.", "post_id": "6z33bj", "comment_id": "dms80gx"}, {"question": "Here's the thing. It MAY be true that one beer is perfectly fine for most people, yes. It MAY also be true that she is overreacting.\n\nIt is DEFINITELY true that seeing you drink that beer upsets her. It is also true that she is upset because she went through a lot of trauma in her past, and seeing you drink reminds her of that.\n\nAs someone else said, it's not about the alcohol, it's **not about who's right or wrong** here. It's about the relationship. \n\nHave a serious conversation with her about it. DO NOT BLAME. Do not accuse. Do not bother with who's right. But explain that you understand that seeing you drink, even a little, makes her upset, and you would never do something that upsets her intentionally. (I hope.) Also explain that her reaction was a little hurtful to you too, even if she didn't mean it to be, and you didn't know that she felt this way about this situation. \n\nMaybe a compromise is possible and you could try offering one. Maybe seeing you drink is too much for her, but she'd be okay if you went out for a drink with friends, as long as you didn't drink at home and don't come home tipsy.", "comment": "Long story short my 23F year old Fianc\u00e9\u2019s step father was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I, 23M, have these time periods during the year where I will drink one 16oz beer a night. I work, take care of my responsibilities as a father (almost 6 month old daughter), and at night? I want to just relax with one beer. She freaks out on me and gets mad when I come HOME after work with a single beer that I have bought at the gas station. I have tried to reason with her I am not dependent on alcohol and even shown her I can go months without it. She still gets upset. What can I do? I honestly don\u2019t feel like I am in the wrong and she is making me pay for her step fathers mistakes.", "post_id": "fd5azp", "comment_id": "fjfu9pt"}, {"question": "For many of us (therapists), we don't really put too much stock in diagnosis in general.  There have been many studies that show diagnosis overall is not very accurate and consistent between clinicians.  On top of that, diagnoses are not diseases in the way many people think.  Generally, they're patterns of symptoms or behaviors that when lumped together, someone can apply a label to, but don't really speak to the person as an individual or what their specific experiences are.  \n\n\nIf you and your therapist are someone who puts a lot of importance on diagnosis, I would say your therapist who has seen you for 5 sessions can give a much more accurate impression of what you would be diagnosed with than what you got after a 5 minute psych eval/intake?  \n\n\nFrom my own personal experience, it's pretty rare that folks who do internet dives and research certain diagnoses are correct in diagnosing themselves (this includes me when I thought I had Bipolar while in college).  The diagnosis I was given when I went for treatment much more accurately described my experience than what I thought, though once again, not very important in the grand scheme of things as far as my learning to cope with and/or overcome my symptoms.", "comment": "Today I brought up the possibility of me being bipolar and only feeling good because I'm manic. I'm not displaying symptoms of classic mania but I'm just concerned that me no longer feeling suicidal and depressed is not because I'm getting better happier and healthier while sober but because I'm manic. \n\nThis concern stems becayse of a diagnosis - rather quickly after 5 mins - I got at 19. \n\nI've had depressive episodes in my life but they usually were becayse of bad relationships or toxic jobs. \n\nAnyways how should a therapist approach a concern from a client about a certain illness or disorder ? She said she didn't think I had it.\n\nWould she be able to tell after 5 sessions if I was?\n\nShould she have asked more questions as to why I think that ?", "post_id": "cqynhu", "comment_id": "ex2dzvf"}, {"question": "Do you suffer from specific symptoms/disorders or just looking for a way to vent?", "comment": "I am looking to journal, but become very overwhelmed by the whole process. \n\nLooking for any helpful journaling hints or workbook suggestions that you find helpful. ", "post_id": "6e2gsd", "comment_id": "di938rw"}, {"question": "Are you sure the meds are working?\n\nHave you talked about this stuff with your therapist?  What does he/she say?\n\nMeds should create a space to feel something other than bad.  If you are truly experiencing psychotic symptoms, your doctor needs to know that.  You might need different meds.\n\nTherapy should be helping you work through stuff like your relationship with your dad, your social anxiety, etc. and teaching you tools to use to construct the kind of life you want.\n\nIf those things aren't happening, you need different meds and/or a different therapist.\n\nKeep fighting for what you need.  Don't give up or let yourself think that this is the best it can be.", "comment": "I'm 27 years old, turning 28 this year. \n\nI can't pinpoint the first time depression really hit me - if I had to narrow it down I'd say I was about 10 years old at the time. Without giving out a full history (I can't be bothered writing it, and you can't be bothered reading it), I think I had a pretty shitty childhood. School was rough (I have a lazy eye), and my folks split up when I was only a few months old. \n\nMy Dad moved interstate when I was several years old. The 'official' narrative is that it was for work reasons and I was too young to understand what was really going on. I never really questioned it, at least not consciously, but I have a hard time believing he couldn't have found work in Sydney if he really wanted to. \n\nI can't classify him as a deadbeat. He's always tried to keep in touch with letters and emails, and encouraged me to come and visit whenever I could. But I fucking resent him for not sticking around, for not teaching me the things a Father should teach his son. Our relationship has grown steadily worse and more distant for the last decade and a half at least. I try to forgive and forget, but I feel so much anger towards him, especially when I'm depressed. Maybe things would have been different for me if he hadn't bailed. What kind of Father leaves their only Son, anyway?\n\nMy Mum, on the other hand, has always been there for me. She's provided infinitely more for me - emotionally and physically - than anyone else on the planet. Whenever I had a shitty day at school, or get turned down by a girl, or fuck something up, she is always there, providing love and support unconditionally. As a result, I'm a momma's boy through and through. \n\nI'm a pussy, neurotic, unable to stand on my own two feet emotionally. I've thought about killing myself a whole bunch of times (no, I'm not suicidal at the moment), and aside from being too much of a coward to actually do it, I think the only thing stopping me was the thought of what it would do to my Mum. When she's not around, assuming I don't have a family of my own, I don't think there'll be anything holding me back. That fills me with a weird mix of fear and comfort. \n\nI have very few friends and often think that they consider me a burden and a joke. I think when I'm really depressed I become almost psychotic, and this may be one of the facets of my psychosis. But at the same time, I can't help but feel them trying to discreetly distance themselves from me. Who the fuck wants to be around someone who is always miserable and moaning about their problems? I know I don't. I feel like I am actively poisoning the few meaningful relationships I have left, and that I lack the will or capacity to make new ones.\n\nI rarely do anything social. I have poor self esteem (no shit) and social anxiety problems, and as a result I very rarely meet new people. A few years ago I used to have quite a few friends, now I have several. I'm on a trajectory to be totally alone, and that scares the shit out of me. \n\nI'm supposed to be at my physical and mental peak, but I feel weak and braindead. I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, and I can't remember the last time I had sex or even made out with a girl. Some days I can't even bring myself to get out of bed.\n\nI'm on a high dose of anti-depressants. I see a therapist. I exercise as often as I can bring myself to.\n\nI don't know why I'm even bothering to post this. I even fucking hate myself for writing this rant. I know I'm not doing myself any favours by thinking like this, but I do.", "post_id": "17d6y1", "comment_id": "c84kdh1"}, {"question": "not if you still want fwb. if that's all you want nothing else matters.", "comment": "Me and this guy are friends with benefits. we already slept together and we barely talk which is fine with me. He messaged me on Snapchat the other night and I told him that I wanted to meet up again and he didn't respond. This is the second time that this is happening. I don't text him a lot because I don't have feelings for him honestly all I want to do is to have sex. He responds to a text message asking him how he's doing pretty quickly, but when I want to get together I get ignored. I'm confused. I am a female he is a male I am 23 he is 28", "post_id": "5qqewn", "comment_id": "dd18h1e"}, {"question": "You either accept the past and find a way to move forward, or you don't accept the crap and leave.", "comment": "First time post here and hope people could help.\n \n \nTL;DR\nI [40/m] met someone [31/f] who absolutely adores me like no other. We been been really good together until recently we had a major fight with me bringing up recent past. Past always seems to haunt me and I know the past should be left in the past, how does someone let go of the past and move forward with the person? Or is it best to just be friends? Past includes affairs, hitting, self destructive thoughts.\n\n\nApril 2016\nSo I [40/m] was seeing Ana [40/f] in my home country but was a little uncertain of our relationship together as she wasn\u2019t sure if she could be with me and expressed interest to go back to her home country.\n  \n\nJanuary 2017\nI started work abroad and met up with a friend, Bell [31/f], who I met the last time I was at this company. Bell did have some very traumatic abusive experiences when she was younger and also not too long ago about a year I think. She has had self destructive thought but she said she is fine now and have sought counseling. \n\n\nWe hang out a lot and one day Bell confessed to me that she really liked me and would like to try a relationship. I did mention that I was kinda seeing Ana but in my mind things were uncertain and explain that to her but she still would like to try. I was initially hesitant as I felt I would be cheating on Ana but with all the uncertainty in my mind and the heat of the moment we eventually did try and ended up sleeping together.\n\n\nAfter a week or so I did feel guilty and in the end told Ana who was of course upset. She eventually did forgive me and expressed her love for me. I felt bad and said I would break it off with Bell. When expressing the situation with Bell she was of course upset too and lashed out on me for lying and deceiving her. I had very minor bruise on my eye so nothing concerning. I was more shocked and concerned that she was actually capable of lashing out and was thinking what else she was capable of. With shock and anger of what just happened I told her to leave. She did but then came back smashing the door open. There was no damage to the door but again it was a surprise that it had happened and proceeded to just try and calm her down. \n\n\nI knew what I have done did make her be out of character as she is normally a very kind and very generous person. So I accepted that it was out of the norm and I was the one who caused her to be that way. We sat and talked about the next step. She still wanted to spend time with me despite the current situation with Ana. I said I could spend time with her until I have to leave and go back home. One thing led to another and we end up spending a lot of time together, about 4-5 months, and even went on trips. We did have a lot of good times and really enjoyed each other\u2019s company. We were incredibly compatible and shared the same interest in everything. It was very rare for me to meet someone who was this compatible and learning new things together. The experience was so nice that we decided we would keep in contact and maybe try a long distance relationship despite my doubts on long distance relationships.\n\n\nDuring this enjoyable period there was once down moment which I struggle to let go. She was at a work party and I said I would be around to pick her up even if it was very late. She did not anticipate to be long but did eventually stayed out late. Toward the end she ended up meeting a friend who wanted to practice rope tying and invited her round. She went over and they practiced. She fell asleep whilst she was being tied up and was left there asleep according to her. In my mind I thought a friend would either take you back home or put you in a bed if they noticed that you was incredibly tired. This happened whilst I stayed up to be ready to pick her up. I wanted to be ready in case she got into trouble. I think I fell asleep around 5am or 6am. We fought about it later that day and did move on but the thoughts doesn\u2019t go away.\n\n\nJuly 2017 \nI went back home and met up with Ana. I had told her that I ended up continuing to see Bell and of course that made her upset again. It made me feel incredibly guilty for what I have done and I was ready to accept the consequences but she ended up forgiving me to my surprise. This has now made me confused emotionally as I really liked both girls and struggle to decide what to do. In an Ideal world I would have been happy to have a poly relationship with them both. I had told Bell that I needed some time to sort things out and maybe a break would help things. She was worried that I would get back with Ana. During this time me and Ana did sleep together once out of guilt and feeling sorry. But I couldn\u2019t get Bell out of my mind. I told Bell this and she was upset of course that I slept with Ana. Eventually over sometime maybe a week or 2 I decide to break off with Ana as I was struggling to let go of contacting Bell which was upsetting Ana.\n\n\nThe following day Bell told me she went to see a couple to teach her a self sexual act that she couldn\u2019t do. They performed it on her so that she knows what it felt like and would know what to do next time. After hearing this in my mind I felt disappointed, annoyed, betrayed and couldn\u2019t understand why she didn\u2019t wait for us to learn and discover it. I tried to be subtle and hide it but she noticed it. She said why should I be upset and that she wasn\u2019t going to wait around. I understand what she was saying but I still couldn\u2019t help feel upset about it. I told Bell that I have broken up with Ana. Her tone changed and wanted us try again but I was hesitant. We ended up agreeing we could try just being fwb or as best you can in a long distance relationship. During this time we got along really well and really enjoyed each other\u2019s company even if it was just video calls. She has always expressed how much she liked me. I on the other hand have been less expressive cos I was still trying to work things out in my head. More specifically letting the past go. I know over time, maybe a quite a bit of time, I may come through it and learn to accept them. But right now I struggle to do that.\n\n\nThe last few weeks she has been more and more affectionate with her words and action but I don\u2019t necessarily respond in the same way. Like I said before I\u2019m still trying to beat my inner conflicts. This made her insecure and more upset. When I say I need more time she didn\u2019t understand why and when I bring up the past we had a big fight. The fight was so bad that I said things in the heat of the moment and suggested we just be close friends and other said things that I didn\u2019t mean. I think this may have been the last straw for her and we didn\u2019t talk for a week. I still wanted work something out and maybe be friends at least so I reached out. We ended up fighting again and told me that I should see a counselor to sort myself out before she would even talk to me.\n\n\nI have started the process of seeing one but would still like to find out what other people\u2019s thoughts are on this. The past always seems to haunt me and I know the past should be left in the past, how does someone let go of the past and move forward with the person? Or is it best to just be friends?\n\n\nThank you all for reading this and any help would be appreciated.\n", "post_id": "71kfr6", "comment_id": "dnbnsbm"}, {"question": "Once you do it once it will get easier and more natural.... So, just do it.", "comment": "I've been dating my girlfriend since summer started. She's actually my first since I'm the most nervous guy on the planet. It's been many months now and all I've gotten to is hugging her! I've gone on walks with her, gone to the movies with her, gone to dances with her, but I haven't even held her hand, let alone kissed her! I can also feel that she is also getting frustrated that I'm not escalating our relationship further.\n\nReddit, help me! What do I do?", "post_id": "1sclpq", "comment_id": "cdwdiq7"}, {"question": "I think the main problems are: that it can be exhausting work, it gets in the way of having intimate/close/loving relationships with anyone, and it is often destabilizing to not have a sense of self. \n\nIf you're always masking, no one can really know you. Most people have a core desire to be seen and known by someone who can see who they really are and still love and accept them. If you feel like people only love your mask, it's kind of like being loved for your money instead of who you are. \n\nThe experience of not knowing who you are and not having a sense of self can be really destabilizing. We understand everything via relativity, so it's hard to make sense of anything else if you don't even know who you are.", "comment": "I've never masked so hard that I don't know who I am anymore, but I see people here saying they did it. So tell me, what's so bad about it? \n\nWhat's bad about long term masking as long as it doesn't burn you out or tire you out?", "post_id": "gvyt4g", "comment_id": "fsryjpp"}, {"question": "it's hard for sure. surround yourself with caring friends and keep busy", "comment": "My GF and I just broke up a few weeks ago and I can't stop myself from thinking if she's already dating another guy. The thought of her kissing someone else and doing things couples do is torturing me.  \nWhat should I do? How do I cope with this?", "post_id": "6fveu7", "comment_id": "dilf3vn"}, {"question": "Yes, it\u2019s safe.", "comment": "Male, 20, 6ft, 58kg \n\nStarted treatment for anxiety, worried about the effects the medication will have as I know both can have an effect on your heart etc. Is this safe?", "post_id": "dzozy3", "comment_id": "f8970uf"}, {"question": "I have a couple ideas.  First, I've heard that sometimes mental food cravings are misinterpretations of physiological needs.  I'm not sure how much creedence to pay this because I'm not an expert, but [this article](http://metabolichealing.com/michael-s-blog/decoding-and-interpreting-your-food-cravings/) touches on what I'm talking about.\n\nSecond, it might be helpful to focus less on things to avoid (repeating to yourself \"do not eat out\") and instead focus on things to take action upon, e.g. \"I will go to the store\" or \"I will fill my water bottle\" or whatever.\n\nIn any case, compulsions to eat can be as strong as any other addictive compulsions.  Therapy and self-help are always options.  I hope this is helpful.", "comment": "I'm really trying to lose weight but I have a problem with junk food. I will get a certain taste like buffalo wings and it won't go away until I eat them. I try to ignore it and try to eat a salad or a sandwich and it doesn't satisfy me. In the meantime my craving for junk food grows. If I'm out running errands I say over and over in my head \"Do not eat out\" but next thing I know I'm sitting down ordering a burger. I really want to stop eating so unhealthy but I don't know how to control my junk food monster. Please help me!", "post_id": "169u8j", "comment_id": "c7u8l5w"}, {"question": "A single hallucination is not a big deal, and it's actually surprisingly common among people who have no mental health issues. If anything like that recurs, it's worth seeing a doctor. Strange visual hallucinations are likely to be eye or brain problems.\n\nBecause our brain has so much visual processing built in, the visual cortex is also good at turning noise into signal. Something in your eye or a transient irritation of the optic nerve could have produced junk signal that your brain did its best to turn into something meaningful (police lights, flying orb). But that's totally speculation on my part. Hopefully it never happens again and you never know what that was about.", "comment": "19F, 175cm, 86kg, European, Hallucination, ~ 15 - 30 sec, Known Medical Issues: Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, OCD, PTSD, Dyslexia (Possible Issues: Disasociative Disorder(not DID), Migraines)  Medication: Sertralin, Iboprofen\n\nSitting at my desk, for hours with breaks inbetween, gaming on a big screen, dimmed through settings to warm light. Next to me colourful fairy-lights, not blinking and still, on my window, shutters down. Throughout the last hours I drank one energy drink which I don't usually do. \n\nHallucination:\nFrom the corner of my eye I see lights blinking like police lights in blue. It was so convincing I believed that like 3 police cars drove up. Looking towards the light/s to see if I see correctly. There is no police but a green glowing orb, the size of my fist, wobblingly flying before the other side of my window (inside still, without fairy-lights). I thought something on my desk must be the source but no, I don't have anything that could produce such a light, especially not moving, I look back, it is still there, wobbling. I get scared, I notice my left eye (window and orb are to my right), is hurting faintly, I look at my desk, look back, it's gone. I'm scared of my own mind going crazy, i block out any surroundings with my hands by my eyes, like shutters on a horse and look only directly at my desk. Thinking, wtf just happend and trying to calm myself down.\n\nDo I experience stress: always constantly for atleast a year now, with only occasional calmness. I honestly don't know how it feels to not be stressed.", "post_id": "e80gvu", "comment_id": "fa98f8s"}, {"question": "Rather than focusing on what you think may be the cause of he behavior, you may get further by focusing on how it causes distress in her life . What is happening at work?\n\nI don't know enough to say what it going on. I don't know her background and history,  and have never observed here . My opinion is just an idea based on what you shared :  The examples you shared give me the impression that she may be trying to connect with others.  There is nothing particularly grandiose or exciting,  but these stories are relatable because everyone understands the reference and is in the loop.  It sounds like a way to stay relevant and to not worry about telling a boring story. There is a lot of intensity in these stories! At least in her mind , she always has something interesting going on.\n\nAnother reason I think this may be a misguided attempt to connect is that it works! At least one relative (you) picks up the phone over and over and listens.  You look at her social media , too . If these stories are gutting attention (,even an eye roll), that is working for her.", "comment": "My aunt (57) has always been the dramatic type but it seems like it\u2019s gotten beyond the typical crisis/drama queen behavior. I just don\u2019t know if it\u2019s to the point of suggesting therapy to her. \nShe has always had some attention seeking qualities but nothing to cause more than a few eye rolls at family reunions because she is also very kind  and generous. Over the past couple of years though  it has become impossible to have a conversation with her without there being some (perceived ) crisis or drama. Much of it over things beyond her control, not her responsibility or very minimal I.e. a step-grandchild\u2019s 2nd grade poor report card required a middle of the working day emergency phone call to discuss what an awful job her parents are doing ( they\u2019re not) and how she needs to live with them and she will fix it (not gonna happen) Every time there is a major local or national news story she has to somehow interject herself into it and call/post about it. ( \u201cI can\u2019t sleep!! My friend\u2019s son (who I\u2019ve never met) lives (somewhere) near Minneapolis! I hope he\u2019s ok!!\u201d And I cant count the number of tearful phone calls regarding the acquaintance who had Covid-19 and was critically ill. Yes it\u2019s tragic but I thought she was describing a close friend or family member based on her reaction. A plane had to make an emergency landing and she had \u201cjust flown that airline last month!! It could have been me on there!!\u201d True stories. \nShe also knows a semi-famous person and for years her cover photo has been of her and (semi celebrity) not her husband or family. \nI know she\u2019s an adult and her behavior isn\u2019t malicious or dangerous but I know it\u2019s unhealthy and is interfering with her work and her husband doesn\u2019t want to talk about it. \nIs there a term for this? Is it a personality trait or disorder? Should she be getting help? Thanks in advance for any advice.", "post_id": "guej4r", "comment_id": "fsi0tio"}, {"question": "First and foremost, if you think you have this, go see a professional ASAP. Bipolar disorder can wreck havoc in your life if it is not being actively managed.", "comment": "I have never truly felt centered. im 24 and everything ive ever attempted has failed or got messed up. im starting college soon so i can actually pursue my dreams but something has come up. i am someone who lives a very social life, yet i have the hardest times making connections with new people, even in environments that totally encourage it (raves, music festivals). I have become more aware of the increasing amount of social awkwardness that is accompanying me and I have recently took some test and did some research and i am almost positive i am bipolar. i probably always have been, and i just want to live a normal life and have normal social human interaction and not have to feel awkward.\n\nim starting with meditating more, i know thats the first step.\n\ndoes anyone have any suggestions on human behavior or something i should look into reading?", "post_id": "1rp4qb", "comment_id": "cdpj7l2"}, {"question": "Normal WBC is, depending on the lab, something like 4-11. 11.1 is the minimum over normal. In most cases, it's also normal, off by a negligible amount. All automatic flags (high or low) by labs are set such that they over-detect rather than under-detect, so the lab flags that even though in almost all cases it's of no significance.\n\nIf your white count went from 4.5 to 11.1 over one month I might be more concerned, but even then I would suspect instead an infection, maybe even one so minor you didn't feel it. But in your case, you do feel something. High white count doesn't cause sneezing, but sneezing, if it's due to upper respiratory infection, can and should cause an elevated white count. That's your body normally mounting an immune response.", "comment": "30/female 5'5 165 Caucasian. Meds: 1000mg Keppra, 100mg zoloft, junel fe birth control \nBlood work taken on Tuesday\n\nI had routine blood work done on tuesday and received the results today over the phone. Everything was normal, but my WBC was 11.1 and she said they'd test again in 6-9 months. I'm freaking out. \n\nMy blood work from a couple years ago was normal, but I've started a few meds since then (keppra for epilepsy, zoloft and birth control). Could any of those cause elevated wbc? A few days before I had the bloodwork done I had a weird seasonal allergy thing going on, very leaky eyes and nose, constantly sneezing. That lasted for a day or two and I typically don't suffer from allergies. Could that cause high wbc? \n\nDoes 11.1 indicate possible cancer? How common is it to have high wbc? I'm worried about waiting 6-9 months for more bloodwork, should I request it be done sooner? I'm very worried. ", "post_id": "b5fqgr", "comment_id": "ejd63z4"}, {"question": "always get marriage counseling when contemplating divorce if you're not 100% sure. (unless it's physically abusive of course).  in 3 months you'll have your answer.", "comment": "Me and my husband have been together for a little over six years now. And in those six years i have been the only one working and supporting our household. I didnt mind this as much since he did all the dishes and cleaned the house as well as had dinner done before i got home from work every night. But ever since we got married in june of 2016 it feels like he did a complete switch on me. He never cleans the house or the dishes and dinner isnt done til 3 in the morning and i get home at 11. He has also been saying things that didnt start til after we were married. He has shown me pictures of model and told me he wishes i was as skinny as them and i overheard him talking to a friend telling them that if we were not married he would love to date someone who looks like my best friend. My best friend is super skinny just to gove an idea. He has also slept with two other women in the six years we have been together. One i was fine with because we were all together as a couple but the other was with a friend and i had to find out from other friends that they were sleeping together that was early in our relationship but both of these girls were smaller than me and easier for him to have sex with and each time he has been with these girls he ignores me completely and has sex with them but wont even touch me at all and he hates me going out with my friends because i dont include him but none of my friends like him. And ive caught him in multiple lies and he claims to have short term memory loss but can recall most events with perfect clarity and then claims that the memories just came to him but then he changes his story when he talks to his friends. Ive also been accused of cheating and talking to my ex and having phone sex with him when ive been the faithful one the entire six years we have been together. I just feel like he is using me for my money and the fact that i provide for everything we have. It seems like since my name hit that paper and it became official that i was married to him he changed back to his old ways and was just reeling me in to love him so i wouldnt leave him. I have considered leaving him and getting a divorce but its hard to decide when i cant talk to most of my friends about this because they will go to him about it. I just really dont know what to do next and need some advice.", "post_id": "5o1rub", "comment_id": "dcfz154"}, {"question": "What do you gain by this relationship. What do you give up by being in this relationship?", "comment": "My bf and I have been talking about getting engaged. I know it's not super romantic to be having the conversation about it instead of just being surprised and doing it, but neither of us is particularly young and we both believe in making thoughtful decisions, especially when it has long term impacts. \n\nWe planned a date night to sit down and talk about foundational things, big things, deep things that will help inform whether or not we are a good long term match, and whether or not we will be able to see eye to eye and compromise on big life things that we may disagree on. \n\nI'd love some suggestions on things this community thinks we should ask each other.", "post_id": "drrkic", "comment_id": "f6l9i8m"}, {"question": "Some options:\n\n1. Meditation. \n2. Anti-anxiety meds. \n3. Talk therapy. \n4. Stop reading, watching or discussing the news. \n5. Stop smoking weed. \n6. Find a challenging hobby.\n7. Get a better job. ", "comment": "I'm not diagnosed or anything but lately (ever since my house burned down) I've been very paranoid.  About everything.  I can't sleep at night anymore cause I'm up thinking about what could happen next that could ruin my life.  Like what if I my health got bad, or what if somebody broke in and killed me, what about a nuclear war, is the government watching me?, What about my loved ones what if something happens to them, what if I get robbed and shot at work, what if my house caught fire again, like these are just SOME of my daily thoughts and it's really had a toll on my mood.  I don't have insurance to see anybody about it and I'm just at a loss.  I know reasonably it's very unlikely for any of these things to happen but it's like one side of my brain is fighting againist my reasonable side and the unreasonable side always win.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to live in fear. ", "post_id": "7t2mmu", "comment_id": "dt9epvs"}, {"question": "if there are conflicting reports, then there's no way to know the truth", "comment": "This is fairly mild to some of the stuff I have seen around here but I could use some help. I went out with friends to a house party on Saturday night. I am in a very committed long distance relationship and plan to marry this girl in the future. Anyways, I started drinking a lot more than I normally do at a party because I was with close friend of which I trust. I do not remember more than bits and pieces of the night. I think I remember using my buddy as a crutch for a lot of the night. I also think I remember squeezing his butt for a few times thinking it was funny. However, I have had a few people tell me that a girl was kind of all over me that night and that it was her butt that I squeezed. I could have sworn it was my male buddy who I originally thought it was. Fast forward to last night and I see the supposed girl in a large group. She acts weird to me and give me a hug which caught me off guard because that does not really happen. One of her friends asked me how my hangover was the next day. I said, \"Oh I really do not remember much at all.\" She says, \"Oh shit really? (then looks over at the girl that was up on me) well... shit happens\". So, I guess my question is what should I do? I do not remember seeing the girl at the party. I feel really guilty though. Like I cheated because of what these people have said. I would never do something like that. I love my current girlfriend very much. I have not talked to her about it yet because I do not even know what happened. She is not the biggest fan of me drinking but understands that I do. Do I try to ask the girl what happened or do I let it blow over and take for what I think happened? I have gotten conflicting responses from other people of what happened.", "post_id": "5py9fb", "comment_id": "dcurmyb"}, {"question": "Sounds like you have a strong pro-BPD bias. Some clinicians never use BPD as a diagnosis because of the increased chance of hardship and death to the client. Others don't do it because they aren't sure BPD exists as described in diagnostic manuals. Many other therapists won't diagnose a PD within the first year or two of therapy because they have to work through the other possibility. \n\nEveryone has a bias with BPD, just that some have a bias away from it. \n\nThat being said. Make sure you get a shrink with DBT knowledge/ training", "comment": "I went to a therapist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. She was great, but when I mentioned my questions about BPD and possibly getting diagnosed she got very apprehensive. She said she tries to refrain from diagnosing people with personality disorders because it is a lifelong issue that is difficult to cure. When I tried to explain my concerns that I fit all 9 symptoms of BPD she basically told me that I just don't seem like I have BPD from talking to me. I have been reading a lot online about the stigma behind BPD, even in the mental health community, and I'm not sure what to do. \n\nHas anyone else experienced bias from mental health professionals in the beginning of their treatment? How did you get passed it?", "post_id": "7lkpm5", "comment_id": "drn1v6y"}, {"question": "Couldn't say for sure - but (as a UK shrink) your observations mirror my own and when I diagnose ADHD it takes 3 pretty long appointments and some testing as well. So a nurse practitioner diagnosing ADHD would seem brave in a UK context. Compare your experiences to what the NHS says about diagnosis and treatment: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/", "comment": "Just for some background I am a 41 year old man who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at 18. I also have a degree in psychology however I'm willing to admit there are things I dont know and am always learning. This post however isnt about me. It's about my son. My worry is that my \"precieved knowledge\" is hindering my decision making. \n\nMy son has been diagnosed ADHD with ODD. As many of you may know this is the most predictive diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. The school and the \"behaviorist\" have recommended he be put on a stimulant. My problem is this. Number one ADHD is diagnosed at almost 3x the rate in the USA then anywhere else. And more kids are on stimulants in this country then any other drug. This isnt about whether the pharmaceutical companies influence these decisions its about weather at 6 he should be medicated. The behaviorist my wife took him to is a nurse practitioner, who I am assuming took some sort of class or seminar that \"certified\" her to be able to spot ADHD identifiers so she can write scripts to kids. It was likely funded by a pharmaceutical company for obvious reasons. \n\nI am not against medication. Not at all. In fact I think that if a psychologist recommends meds in conjunction with therapy its irresponsible to not take the meds. The result may be that without them, you're unreceptive to therapy. My issue is with a NP prescribing meds without the recommendation of a psychologist. However the school has successfully pressured my wife into this. Again this isnt about the vested interest the school system had in medicating kids it's about MY KID.\n\nCan anyone, preferably a psychologist, provide me with a few answers to questions if you dont mind.\n\n1) will stimulants affect my 6 year olds brain development in a negative way\n\n2) I've made a appointment with a psychologist but it's not for a month and my wife wants to start the meds NOW. Will the meds affect the analysis the psychologist makes next month? \n\n3) perhaps my most important question is this. I love my son. He is my best friend. I'm trying to make the correct decision. I was on many meds as a child and they all did more harm then good. It wasnt until I was finally diagnosed BPD at 18 and taught how to live with it, got into a gym to help my self worth, and learn overall skills for dealing with anxiety, anger and the like that I started to function better, and although life is hard I've learned the skills necessary to live a happy medication free lifestyle. So I guess I'm asking will the meds be something that hinder his progress in learning these skills OR will they help him and perhaps allow him to learn these things more easily.\n\nIf you stuck with this and read it to the end I already appreciate it. I'm looking for real advice. I am not opposed medication but question its validity in a 6 year old boy. However I admit there is alot about this I dont know and am seeking advice from a actual professional.", "post_id": "davc6s", "comment_id": "f1w4wo8"}, {"question": "I understand how you feel, the same happens to me a lot.   We just have to remember that our feelings are real but may not reflect reality.  Medication and therapy might help stabilize these things, but self care may also be very helpful to make you feel good.   Mindfulness meditation is also helpful, but takes a little practice.  I hope this helps.  ", "comment": "It\u2019s difficult for me to even use the term depressed; one minute I\u2019m fine and the next I\u2019m uncontrollably sobbing, is this what being a normal woman is? Everyone keeps telling me it\u2019s normal to feel like this and to get crazy mood swings, but I hardly think it\u2019s normal to get so desperately unhappy out the blue to want to take your own life? I\u2019m kind of at a loss where to turn now, or even if my friends are really friends. I lash out at the people I like the most and isolate myself for weeks and I think I\u2019m a horrible person. I get the worst social anxiety talking to new people to the point I don\u2019t see how I can make new friends. \n\nI just feel so desperately lonely and I\u2019ve turned away from the people I love the most, but I don\u2019t know how to fix myself? ", "post_id": "9q6k9l", "comment_id": "e8712au"}, {"question": "i would see a therapist. psychologytoday.com if in the US", "comment": "My insecurity is killing my relationship. I'm aware of this and it's something that I'm trying to get under control and I recently started talking to a counselor. My relationship is on the ropes though and I need some better techniques to control my urges to bring up issues. The problem is whatever is bothering me will nag at me until I say something even if my significant other and I have talked about it a million times I just need to get it out and it's driving him mad because it's creating issues that aren't really issues. I was sure he was going to dump me this weekend. Advice please?!", "post_id": "6mgevd", "comment_id": "dk1e55a"}, {"question": "> **Detailed Submissions**  \n>  \n>Please be as detailed as possible in your submissions. The more information we have the more we can help. **It is mandatory to include**: Age, Sex, Height, Weight, Race, Duration of complaint, Location on body, Any diagnosed medical issues, Current medications and doses, any recreational drugs, smoking status. Include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example).\n\nIn this case, we really need to know more. What blood tests? What, specifically, were you told?", "comment": "I have been malnourished according to certain blood tests for around 6 months although my weight is currently normal. BMI 18. Is it really bad for the body to be malnourished even if weight stays normal and the same? Like what can happen long term if this is the case? Is it only dangerous when a person is really skinny?", "post_id": "9m1t93", "comment_id": "e7b961m"}, {"question": "It takes a ton of trazodone, or a combination with other serotonergic drugs, to produce serotonin syndrome. The syndrome can include hallucinations and paranoia, but those are usually late symptoms, and hyperthermia, tremor, GI disturbance, and other physical symptoms appear first.\n\nI would be inclined to say it\u2019s an effect of marijuana, possibly including adulterants, both because it fits the picture better and because it\u2019s more clear that he used marijuana than your pills.", "comment": "Age- 35\n\nSex- male\n\nRace- Caucasian\n\nGeographic location- USA\n\nHealth issues- undiagnosed anxiety\n\nMedications- none\n\nI have a question about something my fianc\u00e9 went through yesterday. On Tuesday he began talking about some really odd things that sounded very paranoid to me and even delusional. We talked it through and I told him I was worried about him, but we got through the rest of the day without issue. Then yesterday, he had an appointment and I came home to find him on the couch under a blanket and not looking well. I asked what was wrong, and he said he thought the people at the doctors office were trying to keep him there and the fbi was out to get him, etc. He couldn\u2019t answer a question straight and would go off on random paranoid tangents. We both work in acute mental health, and I knew something was seriously wrong, so we went to a local psych crisis center. They sent him to the ER because he made the comment that he \u201cwanted to die\u201d. What\u2019s important to know here, and how serotonin syndrome may come in, is that he smokes marijuana daily. I also noticed that some of my Rx pain medication was gone (5-7 pills of Trazodone and Oxycodone). I asked if he had taken them and he said no, but his memory of the last few days is very bad and he can\u2019t recall much. I\u2019m wondering if A) if he had THC and Trazodone in his system, could this type of psychotic reaction occur or is it likely just the marijuana? And B) does serotonin syndrome ever manifest in psychosis? It important to not here that about 13 years ago, he stayed a few days at an inpatient psych center for the same type of behavior, but at that time he was doing a lot of hallucinogens like acid and LSD. Any advice or information is welcome. Thank you ", "post_id": "ajwbri", "comment_id": "eezdnwk"}, {"question": "What do you regret most or wish you had done in your lifetime?\n\nWhat are you proud that you did in your lifetime?\n\n", "comment": "My gram turns 96 at the end of the month...since I am one of the family who loves to talk with her, I was trying to think of good things to ask her. She's a feminist, voter, singer, artists and worked when most women her age were home-makers. Her parents were both Finnish immigrants, and she is bilingual. So what would you ask?", "post_id": "48y1ac", "comment_id": "d0nk3id"}, {"question": "be direct with him about what he's thinking and feeling about the rel.", "comment": "I seriously need some advice. I've been seeing this guy for about 6 months. Everything was great until the last few weeks. We've travelled to several places together, hung out at least once a week since meeting up. The last few weeks, I feel like he's been distant, I haven'tseen him in 2 weeks, he keeps saying he's burnt out from work (construction worker). \nWe had plans a week ago to go for dinner but apparently he feel asleep. Then HE made plans for tonight but then doesn't respond to text messages or phone calls (I'm thinking he's either asleep or avoiding me). We live only 5 miles away from each other (20-30 minute driving). I understand that he's tired but how should I tell him that it's either you get over the exhaustion and see me or it's not worth it, or I am over analysing the situation?? \n\nWe're 28 and 29 yo.*", "post_id": "6avrxb", "comment_id": "dhhtx4m"}, {"question": "They thought they were being helpful but actually they are not.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "cq6h9m", "comment_id": "ewuamws"}, {"question": "Ask your therapist, as this may vary by location and license .\n\nI can only hospitalized someone if they have a plan and intent to harm themselves.  In the US, most hospitals don't have the capacity to take people in general,  there is not much they can do for someone who is not at risk for immediate harm .\n\nYour suicidal thoughts are important to discuss and process . I always feel really sad when someone is scared to bring it up. In most circumstances,  if you say you have suicidal thoughts with no plan or intent , there is no issue . A therapist will also want to know the reasons you won't do it right now and what you can do to stay safe if something changes .", "comment": "With everything that\u2019s been going on in my life recently (covid and lots and lots of personal stuff) I\u2019ve been suicidal but I really doubt that I\u2019m ever going to act on it. I don\u2019t want to hurt my family and give them one more thing to have to deal with, and I\u2019m absolutely terrified of failing and being sent back to a psych hospital. \n\nWith that being said, is there any way for me to tell my therapist that without her sending me to a hospital? I was already in one once and it didn\u2019t help at all, it was traumatizing because I was there against my will (and would be this time too if she sent me, I\u2019m assuming), it didn\u2019t help, and the only outcome that I got from it is that I\u2019ve been too AFRAID to attempt in fear of being sent back there in case I fail\n\nBasically my problem is that because I\u2019m afraid of my therapist sending me to the hospital, it\u2019s limiting what I can talk to her about, and it\u2019s things that I really want to talk about. Plus because of my current situation, I can\u2019t go to the hospital because I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d be able to finish my school work and I\u2019m supposed to be graduating this semester \n\nTo;dr if I explain to my therapist that I\u2019m suicidal but feel like I\u2019m VERY unlikely to attempt, and that I\u2019m VERY afraid of being sent to the hospital for multiple reasons, will she have to send me? Not being able to tell her is limiting things that I would like to talk to her about\n\n\nedit: I don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually, but thank you all. Everyone had valuable things to say that made me realize that telling her is the best option, and I am going to do so at our next session. Thank you all", "post_id": "fwq80o", "comment_id": "fmqagi8"}, {"question": "join a social activity group of some sort and just get experience talking to females. gradually you'll get more skilled and can move into the dating world.", "comment": "I am 20 next month and from Scotland, an ex obese (now overweight after 6 months of dieting) and went to a mixed school. I was a bit askward and my hobbies at school were sports, and cards so never paid attention to girls.\n\nI don't really know how to talk to girls, have no female friends, and have no idea what to do when I see one (besides my mum and sister). How can I learn basic woman communication skills? Any ideas on how to find a girlfriend in the next month? I am open to any hobbies or activities. I don't think I've even spoken to a (non related) girl for longer than 5 seconds in over 3 years. \n\nThanks", "post_id": "5m3kof", "comment_id": "dc0jvxk"}, {"question": "How do you know how long after falling asleep before you start dreaming? You're asleep.\n\nNone of this is particularly concerning unless you're especially sleepy during the daytime or feel like you don't get good rest.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "f0iow4", "comment_id": "fgv01ei"}, {"question": "It should help clear up your acne. I don't know that it would redistribute your fat-- that might be a longer-term thing. Estrogen actually increases insulin resistance, so in a sense oral contraceptives just mask the problem. But if you haven't had a period for a while, it's important that you at least bleed once every three months to avoid the increased risk of endometrial cancer. ", "comment": "I have masculine deposits of fat (250lbs), body hair, heavy periods, oily skin, acne, depression, and a few other symptoms of the illness. I hate the masculine features of my body. I hate that I carry my weight the way I do. \n\nWill my weight be redistributed? I generally tend to hold the weight in my stomach, while the rest of the women in my family carry it in their rear and hips. I also have a few hairs on my chin, and unwanted hair on my stomach. Will this go away? So far, the only change I've seen has been an increase in acne. \n\nCan I expect any changes in my body after starting to take the pill? Or were all those awkward doctors appointments for nothing?", "post_id": "3mlnm2", "comment_id": "cvfzybf"}, {"question": "What would I do?  \n\nFirst, I certainly wouldn't apologize.  I would wait until I was calmed down before responding and didn't feel that initial anger response this probably would have given me.  If it took an hour or days.  \n\n\nWhen I did respond, I would probably say \"Hey.  I was driving.  I don't respond to messages when I'm driving.  I don't appreciate the tone you took when you didn't get the response and it pissed me off.  If you want me to respond to you in the future, know that I'm not going to if I'm either driving or if you take that kind of attitude.\"\n\n\nIt's not fighting, it's stating facts, and what my boundaries are.  I don't care if they don't like it.  I'm not engaging in an argument of what I \"should\" or \"shouldn't\" do.  It is what it is.", "comment": "Not sure if this is the right place to post but I received four calls back to back from a relative when I was driving. At my destination I had a rude vm asking me to help them with a task and calling at my earliest convenience. I didn't have time to call back and I didn't see it as urgent, I also haven't heard from them in two months.\n\nBefore I drove home I noticed three more missed calls but my children were with me and I wasn't going to call at that point in time. Now the vms are saying I am being rude for ignoring them and truthfully I'm in shock. This is all in a 3 hour span in the afternoon.\n\nWhat is a reasonable way to say \"holy shit calm the fuck down\" this isn't this urgent?", "post_id": "cwjz1s", "comment_id": "eyc44r6"}, {"question": "Im just here to help as I do as a professional face to face to people. Still, this stuff is heavy and really helping someone requires energy, of which I have a limited amount.", "comment": "Just sorting by new is enough to hurt my heart. So many hurt people asking for help with no responses. Over 125,000 subs, yet most seem to have either have given up or just dont care to frequent this sub. It's hard to think up of stuff to say, in fear that you might hurt someone.\n\nI legitimately hope everyone here lives a better life. <3", "post_id": "b4kstf", "comment_id": "ej7nsne"}, {"question": "As someone who has worked as a professor and has a lot of professor friends, I'm sure your professor SO appreciates your engagement!! It is so hard and demoralizing to teach when your students are completely tuned out. You extended some real kindness and respect to your professor. I wish more people were like you!", "comment": "I\u2019ve always felt a significant urge to participate in class when it was held in person. For classes that weren\u2019t everyone\u2019s favorite, it often left the room silent after the professor was finished speaking and asked for questions or comments. It may just be a symptom of being hyper empathetic, but regardless of how anxious it made me to speak aloud in front of so many people, I felt it was my responsibility to fill each silence so the professor didn\u2019t feel like a failure. It was almost as if the lengthy quiet pauses in the room were more uncomfortable than anything else...\n\nAnd now that college/university courses are all moved online, I am feeling the same tendency to make up for everyone else\u2019s lack of interest and attention. Yesterday for example, every single person in my class (12 students) turned off their screens/video only 5 min into the 2-hr long session. I felt paralyzed with panic-should I turn mine off and blend in? Or should I keep mine on out of respect and to let the prof know she isn\u2019t utterly alone? Well as painful as it was...I kept mine on. My professor\u2019s spirit looked absolutely broken all throughout the session. With two kids at home and 2 jobs all online now, I couldn\u2019t understand why others didn\u2019t feel equally compelled to show her some support in this small way. \n\nDo any of you have similar feelings or stories to share? Sending this whole community lots of warmth and fuzzy feelings during this chaotic time!\n\nTLDR: Urge to participate in classes (physical or digital) to fill each uncomfortable silence and support professor. Very grateful for this community for making life a little less chaotic!", "post_id": "futmig", "comment_id": "fmgclnw"}, {"question": "I don't know that it would be a red flag. What makes you say that? Are you concerned some type of fraud is going on?\n\nIf she is offering to do the paperwork necessary for SSI, that is pretty cool. \n\nI don't know enough to say that you should or shouldn't,  just not exactly certain what is rubbing you the wrong way.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hu8mub", "comment_id": "fym3zp2"}, {"question": "I've been following this story since the beginning, and I'm sorry to say that it seems to have turned out the worst for you. \n\nOr has it? I'm sure it sucks. I can't even begin to imagine the emotional and physical pain that you are going through right now. But there's a bright side: you got out. You know. You're not a cuckold, you're not the poor sap at the party where everyone knows his wife is a slut but him. You're a survivor. \n\nYour wife is a liar, a cheat, and a promiscuous elephantile cuntbag. Never mind how traditional it might sound, she broke her vows to you. She deserves everything she gets and then some. \n\nYou can do this. You're strong, capable, and ten times the man any of those assholes are. Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete Facebook. Don't say a fucking syllable to her unless it's in the presence of a lawyer. \n\nAnd every day when you wake up and you feel like you want to sleep forever, remind yourself that you're a survivor. \n\nYou're a survivor, motherfucker. Get out there and do it. Do it hard. ", "comment": "First post [here.]( http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/o2h8k/i_think_my_wife_cheated_on_me_but_i_have_no_proof/)  Second post [here.]( http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ps9tf/update_to_i_think_my_wife_cheated_on_me_but_i/)\n\nFour men.  She had an affair with four different men over the past five months.  \n\nThe first was a guy from work she start sexting and sending racy pictures to back in october.  Then she met a random guy at a concert and kissed him.  She met up with him again when she was at a drive-in movie theater with a friend, where allegedly nothing happened except cuddling.  She met up with him again when she was at a gay club with some friends, and he fucked her from behind in the bathroom...  He drunk texted her a month later, they fought, and broke off contact after that.\n\nOne night in mid december I came home from work at 6pm, knowing that she got done at 2pm for a company christmas party.  Her pet bunny was out of its cage and running around the apartment.  She was nowhere to be found.  Her car was in the parking lot.  Her coat was on a chair.  I called her phone and it rang from the couch.  I called my mom in a panic.  I ran around the apartment complex looking for her.  I screamed her name.  I even checked the goddamn dumpsters, expecting the worst.  When she came home, an hour and a half later, the police were in my living room, and I was giving them her description.  I held her so tightly.  I was so scared that something had happened to her.  I was in tears.  A minute earlier, she was making out with the guy from work, in his car, down the street, with her hand on his dick.  If she wasn't on her period, she would have had sex with him.\n\nThen theres new years eve.  The bassist guy likes it up the ass.  When my wife and her gay friend went up to his hotel room, he asked him to fuck him up the ass.  He did, with my wife in the room, and then the guy told him to get lost.  He then had unprotected sex with her, with possible vaginal insemination.  She took the morning after pill, and had a pregnancy scare when she was late for her period.  They continued to chat via text/email/video chat after that.\n\nFinally, she had an emotional affair with a guy she met on Reddit.  They flirted via text and email, and made plans to meet in person and have sex while I was on a business trip last weekend.  A friend of mine asked her if she wanted to do LSD together, and she found that to be the better option.  As far as I know, she never met the guy.\n\nShe continued to flirt and chat with three of the four men up until last wednesday when I found out.  I only found out about the other two yesterday, after I invaded her privacy and found tons of emails and chats with and about these men.  I forwarded those emails to myself.  I even have the t-shirt that my wife slept in that belonged to the bassist.  She actually brought it into our home.\n\nI know this doesn't count as verification, but here is a photo of the [t-shirt]( http://imgur.com/3yD4f), and of my [hospital bracelet]( http://imgur.com/SqeZe) from when I got screened for STD's.\n\nI could never hurt or kill myself.  But believe me when I say I wish I was dead.  I wouldn't wish this pain on someone I hate.  I'm weak.  I'm exhausted.  I can't eat or sleep.  I miss her so bad but I'm repulsed by her at the same time.  I told her not to even be in the same room as me until she gets tested for STDs.  I told her to email her entire family and tell them everything she did.  She has a very tight family and this will likely shame her for life.  I told her she needs to cut all ties with everyone and burn every bridge, including with the two friends she had that enabled her, if she ever wants to speak to me again.  And even then, it's very likely that there's nothing to save.  \n\nI feel so alone.  I have friends that I've been relying on, but I can't tell if they are being supportive because they want to be and they like to have me around, or if they are simply not assholes.  My confidence and self esteem is shot.  I'm doomed to be alone no matter what I do.  I was already physically neglected, I am in no condition for a new relationship, and there is no way I could be intimate with this woman again.  Everything I had was just ripped away.\n\nI need some cheering up.  Again, south jersey/philly area.  Thanks again for the kind words I've been receiving.  \n\nEDIT:  She had sex with the guy from work.  I'm fucking done.  Its over.  I didn't make her write any letters or tell anyone.  She can rot for all I care.  I'm free from this bullshit.  Anyone for a beer?\n\nEDIT 2:  These posts will be coming down soon, as I prepare for divorce.  I hope that my story will help someone else get out of a toxic relationship as well.  If you would like the name of my main account to keep in touch or just follow the story, PM me.", "post_id": "pv7an", "comment_id": "c3sifjx"}, {"question": "judgment call i'm afraid; everyone has diff. comfort zones in the realm of risk/reward.", "comment": "I was in a year long relationship with my ex (21M), I'm (20M). He dumped me in August and has recently asked me for a chance to fix things. I feel as if I have walls that can't be broken down, but I told him if he can win back my trust then I can try again.\n\n He broke up with me because of family issues he needed to deal with, and also I had anxiety which didn't help either. It was very hard on me, especially because I had to see him frequently. He seemed totally happy after the break up, as if he never loved me. I am in a much better place, but as of now I am confused on what I should do. I worked on my problems, but I'm worried if I learn to trust him, I will see that he hasn't worked on his issues and I'll have to end the relationship. \n\ntl;dr\nShould I take him back, or block him out of my life? My guard is up as of right now. ", "post_id": "5vy7l2", "comment_id": "de5wti8"}, {"question": "Low mood can also be caused by psychological/psychiatrical conditions. You seem very focussed on a physical explanation for your complaints. If you are abled to keep increasing weights in the gym, then you are getting stronger, which for me indicates there is no problem on the physical side of things. Growing of muscles often comes later and slower than increase in strenght (because of improvement of neurological and architectural muscle function first). Also there is genetic variation and then there is the factor age.", "comment": "Hi all, and thanks in advance for your help.\n\nI have been having general low mood, low libido, fatigue and a slowing of fat loss and muscle gain (despite progression in weight volumes) and have seen my local GP, who sent me for a range of tests, including hormone checks.\n\nFor context I am a 42 yo Australian (Caucasian) male, 188cm, 118kg (down from 165kg 11 months ago) with slowed muscle growth, low mood and low libido. I exercise 5-6 days a week (weights & cardio) and eat a balanced essentially fresh diet and am on no medication.\n\nI've just got blood test results back and I am struggling to make sense of the figures and my doc's persistence that everything is 'normal'.\n\nAll other tests (glucose, cholesterol, liver function, general bloods etc came back fine). I am interested in my hormone levels and they lab results for these (with reference ranges in brackets) are:\n\n* FSH: 6.2 u / l (1.5-12.4)\n* Testosterone: 10.6 nmol / L (10.0-28.)\n* Calculated Free Testosterone: 213 pmol / L (170-670)\n* SHBG: 30 nmol / L (17-56)\n* Prolactin: 118 mIU / L (85-500)\n\nThe tests were performed using Roche Modular Immunoassay if that helps.\n\nAccording to the reference ranges on the test results my FSH is mid range, Testosterone just above the lowest limit, Calculated Free Test, lower end of the range, SHBG mid range, and Prolactin at the lower end of the range.\n\nNot unlike others with low testosterone symptoms, but within 'normal' ranges, my doc has said that all of these are within range and has suggested diet and exercise may help (not sure how I can improve this realistically) and offered Viagra for the low libido (I'm not looking for an instant erection, I'm looking for a boost to my overall mood & libido).\n\nI will go to another doc to see if I can get a better explanation and assistance, but am asking the combined wisdom of this sub if the levels above are reasonably normal, or if there is room for improvement?\n\nThanks very much!", "post_id": "baenlm", "comment_id": "ekb0ukr"}, {"question": "If you're feeling well, do you need to get a check up at all?", "comment": "I've not been to a doctor in probably twenty years. My new job has full medical coverage and I'm a 28 year old male, so I think I want to get checked out but I'm not sure what to ask for. Would I also be able to ask for blood work to be done, so it's a bit more than a simple physical? What type of doctor do I try and find? \n\nThanks for any advice. ", "post_id": "5vlovb", "comment_id": "de4u2yf"}, {"question": "Sounds like just seeing an individual psychotherapist would be the closest to what you are looking for. I will say, for the person suffering addiction, 12 step programs have much more success than anything the scientific or medical field has had, or is even close to having. I understand it\u2019s different for people impacted by other\u2019s addictions though.", "comment": "My mom is an alcoholic. At 25, I\u2019m just starting to realize all the negative effects her drinking had on me. I want help, and was initially intrigued by ACA. \n\nUntil I learned it was a 12-step program. I hate 12-step programs. I hate their non-scientific, non-medical approach to treating addiction. I hate their propaganda about addiction being outside of your control. I hate their forcing religion on you.\n\nI\u2019m just not open to their methods. The problem is, any research I do about resources for children of alcoholics always leads back to there. Have any of you encountered programs targeted toward children of alcoholics that DO NOT utilize the 12 steps? I\u2019m looking for a good CBT therapist in my area but I\u2019m also interested in something specifically targeted at people like me. \n\nThanks.", "post_id": "bzw3r0", "comment_id": "eqxz3eg"}, {"question": "This guy really needs to learn how to use Google Scholar.", "comment": "Has any study been conducted to investigate the incidence of PTSD for people with Asperger's particularly looking for a correlation with the increased rate of bullying people with the syndrome endure?", "post_id": "19qrkd", "comment_id": "c8qsytm"}, {"question": "you have to do what's best for YOU. if you need to be thinner, and he's a mature guy, it will be fine!!!", "comment": "We have been together for almost 3 years. He confided in me a while back that he was into very fat girls. I have a history of body dysmorphia and eating disorder tendencies so this was very difficult for me to hear. When we first met I wasn't overweight, but I was on the chubbier side at 5'3 and 140 pounds. He used to constantly take me out to eat and brought me my favorite foods and would feed me, and being a binge eater and comfortable with my current size, I enjoyed it and let him. He also constantly grabbed my flab, something I told him over and over that made me extremely uncomfortable and self conscious, and without fail tells me every time I see him \"your butt has gotten bigger!\" And gets excited. But now, I am 30 pounds heavier and hate my body. He has further confided that he not only likes fat girls, but is into feederism and actually enjoys watching someone gain weight and said he'd love if I gained 15 more pounds. I am absolutely against this. We have had several conversations about this and he hates that he has done this to me and is now supporting me in trying to get healthy again and lose the weight. I hate my body and have developed unhealthy eating habits so simply losing weight is not that easy for me. It's become almost like an addiction and I have been trying to lose weight for almost a year but have only lasted a week at best before I binged out. The main issue is that whenever I'm around him, I feel horrible about myself. Our normal routine is to go out to eat whenever we hang out, so that's what we do. Even after saying we would stop. Every \"you're beautiful\" or \"you look great\" translates in my mind as \"you look fat and I love it.\" His complements and genuine affection are like insults and do the exact opposite of what they're intended to do. It's gotten to the point where I can't even be intimidate or have him touch me without being disgusted because I feel he's only so attracted to me because I'm so heavy now. I dread seeing him because it just reminds me of how fat I've gotten and how much resentment I have toward him sabotaging my body. We don't want to end it, but is there any hope of us being happy again? \n\ntl;dr boyfriend is a feeder and likes me fat. I've gained 30 pounds and feel horrible about myself and around him. Can we make it work?", "post_id": "6aa9ly", "comment_id": "dhcyqri"}, {"question": "Mania and anxiety both involve activation of the sympathetic nervous system, so it makes sense you would have similar symptoms in both cases.  Hallucinations aren't usual with anxiety, but it happens.  Just make sure your psychiatrist is aware that you are experiencing this. It's unsettling, but it is what it is and is not necessarily a debilitating condition.  ", "comment": "I am new here so forgive me if there has been a post about this but I have been curious. At times I become so anxious that I start to see people. You could say that I have become paranoid. I walk into a room and there will be a man sitting in the corner not doing or saying anything just sitting , watching. As I walk around there are similar people, watching. Does anyone have a similar experience?", "post_id": "4ytfqp", "comment_id": "d6qik8q"}, {"question": "Yeah, I was put on prescription vitamin D. \n\nI read up and found most overweight people have low levels because it just hangs out in the fat instead of doing the stuff out body needs it to. ", "comment": "I was recently diagnosed with a severe vitamin D deficiency. I think it's because I cover up from head to toe year round due to my hirsutism. Also heavily introverted so I'm indoors most of the time. I'm worried about my bone health. My back constantly aches and I've developed hump on the base of my neck. Also I'm a two inches shorter this year. What does this all mean?", "post_id": "7h1oex", "comment_id": "dqo4raf"}, {"question": "I fee you. Capitalism breeds isolation and pushes the majority into poverty.", "comment": "Am on my own for the first time ever (lived with parents until age 30) and making okay, but not great money. Realized today how isolating not having money to spend is. Can't buy fun things to eat for dinner. Can't go out to a restaurant to socialize.\n\nMore broadly, I just feel locked out of everything society has to offer. Feels like every aspect of society says - if you don't have money, you're worthless. Which, when you already struggle with low-esteem, that's a horribly tough one. I know it's not me, it's society. But that doesn't make me feel all that much better.", "post_id": "d0zgij", "comment_id": "ezft8fr"}, {"question": "Visual hallucinations during high fevers are incredibly common.  Nothing to worry about there with the exception that if your fever is THAT high, you probably need to at least take some type of medication to bring it down.  ", "comment": "This is gonna be long so skip to the bottom for a summary if you don't want to read all of it.\n\nBasically, I spent about a few weeks home from school when I was roughly twelve with a bad flu (not bad enough to be hospitalised though). I had quite a large amount phlegm build up in my nose and throat, as well as feeling very fatigued, and a little sensitive to light. \nI put on a movie (pirates of the Caribbean number three) and about half way through I had to stop. This was due to feeling very tired, and also because I found the TV too bright. Also, the scene where Jack Sparrow is pulling a ship along an endless sea of sand (and a bunch of weird rocks turn into crabs and pull the ship away) kind of freaked me out; I'd always found that scenes where characters are surrounded by never ending nothingness, or just a blank landscape unbelievably upsetting (they could walk for miles and get nowhere. They have nothing to look forward to; that sounds like my personal HELL).\n\nAnyway, so I go to bed, and I vividly remember having a pirates of the Caribbean themed nightmare. It went something like those little rocks kept turning into crabs and then the crabs would turn into rocks, and I couldn't tell which was which or what was real, and their colour kept changing from white to black to checkered, and for some reason I had this desperate urge to hold onto a rope; and if I didn't, I would fall or something imminently bad would come if I let go.\n\nWhen I woke up, I couldn't breath properly, and I felt unbelievably afraid. I had a desperate desire to hold on to something, but whenever I gripped my blankets, it didn't feel . . . Enough. It's really the only way I can describe the feeling - I had to grip something because if I didn't, waves of anxiety would overcome me, and I felt like crying. Also, at the edges of my vision, and whenever I closed my eyes, I could see the same interlocking black and white patterns that I saw o the crabs. I remember getting up and running to the kitchen, and desperately trying to find something - I remember gripping the table, the chairs, the phone, but it always felt to unstable or not enough to support myself. It felt like hours of running around the house in near tears, just grabbing things to hold onto, and feeling as though something terrible would happen if I didn't, all while the checker patterns flitted around my vision, further heightening my fears. \n\nSometime later, I \"came to\" in a sense; I found myself in the study, hanging on to the back of the chair, while the black and white pattern had faded enough for me to ignore it, and the feelings of intense fear eased enough for me to be able to confidently recognise my own home. (before, I didn't really process or know where I was; the panic had consumed any feelings of familiarity towards my surroundings) I realised that I couldn't breath properly - not in the same way that you can't breathe when feeling really nervous or when you have a panic attack, but as in I literally could not get enough air into my lungs because of the phlegm blocking it. \n\nI managed to call my mum (who was picking up my sisters from school at the time) and told her that I couldn't breath properly, and ohhhh boy it was sooo relieving to hear her voice. She told me to wait just a little bit, she was almost home, and that it would all be fine in a moment. I waited for her to come home, watching our drive way through a window, just trying to breath slowly enough to get enough air. Within twenty minutes, I felt my throat clear up enough, and when mum came home, I told her it was fine now, and I've never spoke about it or thought about it to this day.\n\nCould anyone shed a light on what caused this, or what it was? The more I write the more i wonder if it was more like a panic attack and less like a hallucination. TBH, I just wanted to get this off my chest. \n\ntl;dr: I suffered from a rather intense nightmare and woke up seeing black and white interweaving patterns moving across my vision, as well as extreme feelings of panic that made me temporarily unaware of my surroundings. I had this desperate urge that I need to hold on or grip something, and if I let go of any object, I would feel waves of anxiety and fear overcome me. This felt like it lasted for hours (but probably only lasted 20mins or so), and when I \"came to\" I found I couldn't breathe properly due to my throats and nose being blocked by phlegm. ", "post_id": "8wiazz", "comment_id": "e1w6uj9"}, {"question": "Increase.  You are doing a work that they do at boarding places.  If it was me I would increase it more but that might cause them to move out haha ", "comment": "Original rent 500 including all utilities. Guy who rents room wanted a dog. I said 600/month total with adult dog, 700/month total with puppy. Guy works all night, and is constantly mandated for OT. Therefore, I'm constantly taking care of puppy for him. Is increase to 700 while a puppy unreasonable?", "post_id": "48xh6g", "comment_id": "d0nk6zw"}, {"question": "Normal sinus rhythm does mean without arrhythmia. But it can be normal sinus rhythm with respiratory sinus arrhythmia, which is normal changes with inhalation and exhalation. Another possibility is sinus tachycardia, which is simply a fast heart rate. That can be due to exercise, pain, or anxiety, as well many other causes, many benign, some not.\n\nIf the 12-lead EKG gave an automatic abnormal read but the doctor cleared it, it's likely that it was a normal EKG. The automatic read is deliberately set to recognize problems where there are none (rather than miss any potential problem) and it's actually quite common to get garbage readings out of it.", "comment": "UPDATE: thank you for the input, it was actually really helpful when I had questions for my next doctors visit. As of now my primary care doctor believes it\u2019s Lyme Disease but decided to test my blood for some other things that I can\u2019t remember after I came in with new symptoms (pain in other body parts including the chest back and legs, muscle spasms, odd cold sensations in random spots). The immunoblot test didn\u2019t meet the criteria for a positive but 4 out of the 5 bands required for a positive were present so he suspects that it might be early stage. I have a follow up in a few weeks after taking some antibiotics I feel better than a few days ago.\n\n\n\n\nBackground\n\nAge: 24\nSex: female\nHeight: 5ft5\nWeight: around 135\nEthnicity: white, Ashkenazi Jewish\n\n\nI went to the ER with heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, shakiness, sudden intense nausea, and had pain in my arms, particularly the left, two days before being admitted. When I checked my pulse my heart rate was really fast before leaving my house to go to the hospital, but by the time I got there it had slowed down and I was told it was normal. Chest X-ray showed nothing, ER doctor suspected something was wrong with my neck for some reason. Went to my GP after being discharged because he was unable to meet me at the hospital and realized that the hospital never checked my blood sugar, so he has me draw blood in the lab and then has me do a neck X-ray. Neck X-ray turned out normal, still waiting on blood test results. The only thing so far that shows that anything is abnormal is the 12 lead EKG test.\n\nI am home but without feeling much better and the anxiety over not understanding any of what\u2019s going on isn\u2019t helping", "post_id": "cw9f5y", "comment_id": "ey9qatj"}, {"question": "The easiest way to feel more comfortable initiating contact is to make it a point to just regularly greeting her and anyone else for the matter when you see her and she makes eye contact.  Just a simple \"good morning\" \"hello\".  \n\n\nAfter you've gotten used to this it'll be much easier when you see her sitting alone to just ask her if she minds if you sit with her.  From that point on it's pretty simple, simple questions \"How's your day going?\"  \"Hey I think I saw you at (convention).  Are you into that kind of stuff?  Me too!\"\n\nI'd stay waaaaaaay clear of commenting on how she looks or looked at the convention.  Especially when first starting to talk.  \n\n\nP.S.  Your English is better than half of the high school kids I see on here who speak it as a native language. Just start capitalizing your \"I\" when referring to yourself.  :-D", "comment": "Hey there, first time posting here and i wanted to ask for some advice, so I'm an introvert and i dont know how to introduce myself to new people, i have friends and stuff, and i can talk with people once they start talking with me. But lately I've been noticing this girl in my highschool that sits alone everyday at lunch,  i know people from her class and they say she is really quiet, it seems they made her aside, and i figured... Maybe she is just like me you know?, sooo... Any tips on how can i introduce myself? I've seen her at anime/comic conventions before too, so we have stuff in common to talk about.\nBut i really just dont know how to start talking to somebody out of the blue,\nAlso sorry if there are typos, i speak Spanish", "post_id": "acjm3a", "comment_id": "ed8kwpi"}, {"question": "You have a good job that you love, so you have a hand up on 99% of the people out there! I know that is small comfort, but something to think about. \n\nWhat have you done to emotionally scar others? I am just curious, because depressed people  tend to catastrophise and feel guilty for things that are not their fault. For example, I felt like shit after breaking up with a bipolar girl some years ago. Looking back, I can see that, even though she treated me good 50% of the time, the rest of the time I was being verbally and emotionally abused. So what I did was for the best.\n\nAs for the castration, I don't know what to tell you there. Are you having urges to hurt others? If not, what sort of urges do you have that would make you want to hurt yourself in such a way?", "comment": "The crux of this message is I want someone to talk to me. I'm having a very, very difficult time dealing with life right now.\n\nI guess I'm more inwardly hateful toward myself right now than I am empty and depressed. I've been there before. I know what that is like. I've been on Wellbutrin and through the ringer of therapists and other psychological parades.\n\nRight now I just wish I was dead because I can't stand the person that I am. I hate myself. I'm a bad human being. I've done bad things. I can't live with the guilt of the bad thing I've done.\n\nI'm not a murderer, or a rapist. I've never done things to physically harm others. But my lack of awareness and general misunderstanding of basic human conditions has lead me to places of deeply scarring or emotionally damaging others and I hate myself for it. I don't feel much animosity toward anyone.\n\nI get angry sometimes. I'm angry right now. About something that I don't feel like I have the right to be angry about, which just makes me feel more guilty. \n\nI type very fast, which is good. I'm able to get my thoughts out almost as quick as they come, despite the fact that I'm a little tipsy right now.\n\nI have everything I could want, apart from any satisfying relationship with anyone, least of all myself. I just spend so much time feeling guilty about everything and hating myself for things I've done that I don't have the energy to actually try to make new friends. \n\nI have a great job, one that I really love. I wish all of my life was just my job and I could release everything else in my life and only have my work. I love my work, and I do good work. \n\nBut real life is real. I'm still a sack of shit when I get off the clock. \n\nI want to castrate myself. I want to not have sexual urges. I've actually looked into chemical castration, but all the processes that are available are detrimental in other ways. \n\nI'm really, really, really, really, really fucked up. How does no one I work with or live with or see know how fucking fucked up I am? I'm a walking disaster area who's somehow able to convince people I'm okay. \n\nI need to be put down. It would be best if I died of some disease unexpectedly overnight. \n\nThat's all. Please like send me a message or something telling me at least part of this sounds familiar and that it got better for you. I'm having serious problems right now. And there aren't any reliable suicide methods I can find.", "post_id": "3f4vvf", "comment_id": "ctlq68u"}, {"question": "Wrong sub...this is for mental health therapists not physical therapists. \u263a\ufe0f", "comment": "I do office work. Got a lot of back and neck muscles strain.\n\nBut even people don't do such work would agree with me that back muscles got pain much easier than front ones.\n\nAnd you see cupping marks usually on the back.\n\nCan someone explain this?", "post_id": "byrren", "comment_id": "eqkxmr7"}, {"question": "This is so encouraging to read. Thank you", "comment": "I made a post here a long time ago about my foray into the world of being clean, and I have continued the trend now for approaching 4 years here very soon. I miss it sometimes. I liked the freedom of setting my mind at ease with the click of a lighter. Being sober for so long has definitely allowed me to learn ALOT and allowed me to progress into being an adult and having much MUCH more responsibility. It wasn't an easy thing to do at first but in my experience the longer you go without the easier it gets. It's more of just a thought now rather than an overwhelming desire. I think I might smoke again one day after I retire but for now I have bigger and better things on my mind. Hope you are all doing well, best of luck to anyone who is trying to quit. If you want any advice or anything like that, feel free to direct message me and I will happily share any experience I can.", "post_id": "fhciot", "comment_id": "fkblfjx"}, {"question": "It's understandable to feel frustrated with your limits, and wish that you could do more for your child, but I don't think that childrens' emotional wellbeing is really tied to the material or physical supports that parents provide them (as long as they meet some baseline level of stability - like if they reliably have food, clothing and shelter). Kids can feel love regardless of the things you are able to do for them.", "comment": "Most days I can accept that I can't do everything I would like with my daughter (she's 5 months old) but I know that I will still be a great mother to her. \n\nSome days I feel like I'm letting her down. \n\nSome days I don't know how to deal with the fact that there are things that everyone in her life but me can do for her. Like I just want to take her to the park today. Her Dad is exhausted though and can't push my wheelchair. Today was our only chance this week.", "post_id": "hheyys", "comment_id": "fyxm0ta"}, {"question": "Why are you still freaking out?  It's done.  And changing your number due to spam is a great excuse.  Why would you need a new phone?  You wouldn't.", "comment": "I am 20 years old and a few days ago I had sex with a woman 12 years older than me that I barley knew. (32 years old.) Turns out she had a husband. and 2 kids. Afterwards I became paranoid that he would find out somehow and track me down. Every unknown phone call I got scared me to death. Finally today I started getting an unknown phone call, again and again and again. I freaked out, I was afraid to answer. So what did I do? I went straight to AT&T and changed my phone number. WHY?!? I fucked up. Later I find out it was just my mother calling from the on-star phone in her car because she left her phone at the house today. WTF? So I text everyone in my phone that I have a new number, And my reason? I said I had been getting too many sales calls and just wanted a new number. Not a new phone just a new number... HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO PEOPLE?\nI'm feeling like my life is over now. I just had to get that off my chest. I must be the world biggest dumbass. I doubt anyone believes my story and now everytime I look at my phone number its going to remind me of today and how fucking stupid I am right? Also I can't change my number back because Ive already told everyone about my new number. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT. thanks..", "post_id": "1p3mcy", "comment_id": "ccyga89"}, {"question": "Could you maybe take baby steps towards being more comfortable speaking up? Something that's really helped me is taking theater classes (especially improv theater.) Something like theater where you are forced to learn to raise your voice and be in the center of attention would really help you to speak up more in social situations :)", "comment": "When I am in class (high school) with one of my good friends the same two girls come up and talk with him. I feel like they have no interest in talking to me at all so I do not join in on the conversation. I take this time to doodle in my binder while they talk to each other. I am labelled as the \"quiet kid\" because I do not speak up in group conversations and whenever I'm the center of attention I feel incredibly awkward, so I choose to stay quiet unless \"forced\" to speak. The reason being is because I do not like to raise my voice that much (kind of stupid, I know).\n\nNot sure of this matters but I sit on the right side of my friend and they two girls usually sit on the left.\n\nThis is probably a really jumbled up paragraph, but I'm not the best at writing.\n\n\n--update kind of:\n\nI went over to the person in my story's house today and one of the girls was there. We smoked a little bit of weed together with two other people in a small bathroom. I didn't feel awkward, nobody talked for 15 seconds and I starting giggling, then I felt awkward.\n\nANOTHER QUESTON: Is it weird if instead of laughing out loud a giggle to myself when I find something funny? ", "post_id": "16d6xx", "comment_id": "c7uyfrk"}, {"question": "Significantly reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your rash acts. ", "comment": "I have a good friend who I have known for years now. We got into the same argument over and over and I acted rashly and now they said they do not rely on me anymore and do not trust me with things when they are not a feeling the best, which is what leads to fights to begin with. I am not sure how to fix this issue. Thoughts?", "post_id": "6b7hp6", "comment_id": "dhkmkgl"}, {"question": "These are questions that should be discussed with your doctor. You and he/she are the ones who know which meds started when and worked for which symptoms. Trying to redo that over the internet is probably not all that helpful.", "comment": "One year ago, I started -for the first time in my life- with an SSRI, with Zoloft.\n\nI had GAD, SA and OCD (obsessive thinking).  All this had lead to a depression of course. I couldn't handle it anymore after years and years of trying to manage it without meds.\n\nAnd Zoloft saved my life, I never felt better and I've never been able to function like I did in the last 10 months. I take 100mg daily together with Wellbutrin 75mg and Buspar 5mg (2x/day).\n\nTaking the meds became part of my daily routine, didn't think about it much and life was (very) good.\n\nHowever, since a couple of weeks, the meds don't longer seem to work or not as good anyway. My wife already asked me whether I'm taking my medication and I understand why:  anxiety is returning (both GAD and SA) and OCD.  Bad old habits are returning. Back to stuttering while talking to people. Back to obsessive thinking. Back to worrying.  Back to more stress and anxiety. My libido is also increasing again. Another sign that something is changing.  Seems like anxiety and libido go hand in hand :).\n\nAnyway, of course I'm very worried now. I don't want to become that guy again from a year ago!  What are the best steps?\n\n\\-  (slowly) increasing the Zoloft from 100mg to 125 or 150mg?\n\n\\-  changing to another SSRI?\n\n\\-  is it the Buspar that doesn't work anymore? Should I increase Buspar from 5 to 10mg?     (Although this doesn't seem like a long-term solution.)  \n\n\nThanks in advance for your input.\n\n​", "post_id": "9lbclp", "comment_id": "e75eqhj"}, {"question": "An internet diagnosis would be premature, but what you describe, along with your low BMI, is concerning for anorexia nervosa. I would recommend discussing with a doctor.\n\nMore common in women than men doesn't mean it doesn't occur in men!", "comment": "Currently taking: iron pills every once in a while, no medical condition, my mom is just paranoid about my vegetarian diet.\n\nPrevious diagnoses: went to a therapist for a while for suicidal thoughts, low self esteem, and depression. Also think I might have dysmorphia/dysphoria. \n\nI\u2019ve always been obsessed with losing weight, and go to long measures to do it. A few months ago I decided to fast for two days for weight loss, and I also have a pretty big hate of my own body and face. \n\nRecently, I\u2019ve been doing lots of exercise and have been counting and severely restricting calories. I\u2019m also ashamed to eat in public and try to burn off every calorie I eat. I also have the urge to be underweight (current BMI is 16.5, want to get down to 14). I also think I\u2019m pretty overweight, which is probably true, but everyone else is saying I\u2019m too skinny.\n\nI know this isn\u2019t very reliable, but I also did one of those anorexia quizzes, and answered yes to every question apart from eating food in secret (quiz diagnosis was anorexia)\n\nAnorexia is more common in women than in men though, so I\u2019m not entirely sure.\n\nDo I have anorexia?", "post_id": "e8be7x", "comment_id": "fab1ryx"}, {"question": "Typically in CBT they'll have you monitor when you pull, situations surrounding it, and your anxiety level. Oftentimes they also try to replace the behavior with another behavior. For me, it's \"playing piano\" on my desk/lap/whatever. I'm musically inclined, so I can hear the music as I pretend to play. But, different CBT therapists will use different methods and techniques. ", "comment": "So, backstory. I've recently been overwhelmed with various issues, among them chronic (since I was 12; am now 22) trichotillomania and the intense distress, guilt, and self-hatred that results from it, and ended up attempting suicide and being detained under involuntary psychiatric hold as a result. I was referred to the NHS Single Point Of Access for further diagnosis as part of a condition of release, and the psychiatrist there referred me for CBT to treat the invasive suicidal thoughts and the trichotillomania. There's a long wait, and my university's mental health services offers a 3 session CBT course, so they recommended I go to them for it first whilst I wait. The first session of these starts on Friday.\n\nSo, fellow trichsters, anybody else done it? What experiences did you have with it?", "post_id": "24zv9o", "comment_id": "chht7s9"}, {"question": "I relate, so so so much. \n\nListen though. Beating yourself (ourselves) up for something we have already done is not helpful and will only lead to more self-conscious induced cringy moments in the future. The only thing you can do is make a mental note of what you don\u2019t feel good doing/saying and think about how you can avoid repeating your mistake. Most of the time, the answer is one of these things: be more in the moment, slow down, take breaths, and do more listening and asking questions than talking. \n\nSecond, think hard about your cringy moment and what other people were doing throughout the time you were in their presence. Throughout that time, can you name one single even somewhat cringy thing that another person did? Because I bet you a million dollars at least one of those people you interacted with *can.* At least one of them went home and kicked themselves because of something dumb they thought they said or did. But you didn\u2019t notice because you were focused on yourself and they were focused on themselves. Whatever you did, it wasn\u2019t as big as you think it is. I\u2019ll even go ahead and believe you - let\u2019s say you were cringy. It\u2019s very, very, very unlikely that anyone else is spending more than half a second thinking about your cringy moment. They\u2019ve moved past it.\n\nBreathe. Tomorrow is a chance to be even a marginally better version of yourself, and obsessing is not helpful. Distract yourself. Breathe. Treat yourself to something you enjoy like a snack or a movie. You need some self care right now and you deserve it. ", "comment": "I\u2019ve been so cringy and awkward to so many people it\u2019s hard to keep count. Everywhere I go now I feel like I\u2019m the weird one because of all the awkward stuff people have seen me do before. \n\nEvery. Single. Fucking. Day there\u2019s always something I\u2019ve done to cringe about. Most people have one moment in their life that makes them cringe, but I have them about once a week, and they paralyse me with just sheer embarrassment and sadness. \n\nI know I\u2019m not overreacting, because if I was someone else and witnessed the awkward shit I was doing, I\u2019d think I was a fucking weirdo too. Man I just hate myself so much. I\u2019m unbelievably far from the person I want to be it\u2019s almost unbearable. Everyday I see confident people, it\u2019s unbearable knowing that I\u2019m not one of them.\n\nThe realisation that you\u2019re not the person you want to be is the hardest thing that can happen to someone. \n\nI\u2019m completely stuck. I need help. \n\n", "post_id": "871o1v", "comment_id": "dwaao01"}, {"question": "Perhaps a DBT Group would be a better choice for you, at least initially.", "comment": " I'm by no means suffering from the worst mental illness ever. However, I am one of those \"very early onset, very egosyntonic, my symptoms are all  maladaptive coping mechanisms so if I let them go I fall into a deep  depression and subsequently get very defensive against therapy\"- types  of patients.\n\nWhich I found isn't  really something that therapists are able to work with (atleast the ones  I've seen thus far). Not blaming anyone, it's totally my own fault and I  fully understand that a therapist can only do so much. I was simply  wondering if there's something to look for in a therapist. Idk like for  me resisting against therapy is part of my pathology and therefore I do  need a therapist who's good at working with that.", "post_id": "f00v7z", "comment_id": "fgqu0me"}, {"question": "The ventricles are fluid=filled spaces in the brain that provide cushioning and allow circulation of cerebrospinal fluid \\(CSF\\). Enlargement usually means general atrophy \\(shrinking\\) of the rest of the brain. \"Atrophy of the fornix\" means that the structure of the brain called the fornix is smaller. It's a large, oddly\\-shaped thing that's hard to describe, and its function also isn't entirely clear, although it probably plays a role in some kinds of memory and possibly emotions.\n\nWe don't know on an anatomic level how depression or suicidal thoughts happen. CTE is an observed phenomenon and syndrome, so you could say that these changes *are* CTE, but what that means in practical terms isn't so clear.", "comment": "In [this](https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/nov/09/aaron-hernandez-cte-brain-damage-photos) article showcasing the brain scans of Hernandez\u2019 brains, the doctor compares his brain to that of a normal 27 year old. What does a \u201cventricular enlargement\u201d and \u201catrophy of the fornix\u201d do/mean? Does it lead to depression/CTE/suicidal thoughts?", "post_id": "8e4wrt", "comment_id": "dxsf68v"}, {"question": "Please provide evidence for your claim that 90% of the assertions made in your linked article are false.\n\nHow does any of that undermine the legitimacy of psychological science? ", "comment": "http://robingoldstein.net/alcohol-weed-and-self-medication/\n\nI seriously doubt that Dr. Goldstein actually wrote this article, and she probably believes it is all true. But it occurs to me that roughly 90% of the claims made here are false. I concede that any particular assertion could be explained as an error or mistake, but clearly the intended purpose of whomever wrote this article was misinformation: [an attempt to undermine] the legitimacy of psychological science. This is a very serious crime [conspiracy], and the consumers of Goldstein's practice have likely suffered abuse and maltreatment as a consequence, not to mention anybody who has has actually read the article. What can we do about this?", "post_id": "21yik7", "comment_id": "cghubsd"}, {"question": "Tried it years and years ago. I had to get off of it because it gave me head to toe hives after about a month or two. Definitely talk with your doctor (or a doctor) about stopping. It is best done tapering off not going cold turkey to avoid basically shocking your system and getting withdrawals.  Try calling your dr at home as a lot of dr are doing phone or video anyways due to covid-19.  \n\nWhen you can talk with a therapist to help deal with the underlying stuff and to help support you as you transition off the meds. Pretty much almost every therapist is doing video or phone sessions now too so it wouldn\u2019t be an issue not being in the country.", "comment": "Hello everyone!\n\nI am now a couple of years on Zoloft, and it worked for me tremendously!\n\nMost of my life I experienced from anxiety but it became worse when I went to college. I developped social anxiety, general anxiety, and panic attacks. My body was always on alert and I had problems sleeping. I also did not have control over my body anymore, I even got muscle spasms in my neck which made me even more self-consious and even more anxious. I also had problems with reading because my eyes couldn't focus anymore. This resulted that I had no motivation to even study, to go to classes or to do anything at all! My school results would also get also influenced by it. Ultimately, I just would avoid to go to school and sit at home playing videogames.\n\nI could not live with it. Then i decided that enough was enough! I went to a psychiatrist which presribed me Zoloft. I started from 25mg to now 100mg which is my current dose.\n\nIt worked! It worked so good! I was confident again i could finally see the world and kick it in the balls.\n\nHowever there was some side effects: \n\n1) Hair loss and weight gain but i could live with it!\n\n2) There was also a period however when i relapsed which was thanks to co sumption of protein (chicken and whey protein) when i wanted to build some muscle. This was because protein rich foods contain already a dosage of serotonin which Zoloft already provides. This phenomenon is called Seroronin Syndrome. I saw that a lot of people on the interner experienced this same problem. I decided to just eat normally and not eat a lot of protein anymore which was annoying but it made me better.\n\n3) There also a relapse when I got Zoloft from a different manufacturer which would have the same effects but not for me, so I kept to the same manufact. and I am fine again.\n\nNow I want to stop with it, it dont want ro be dependent anymore on it, I want to live my own life but i have a feeling I'm going to be dependent for it for the resr of my life.\n\nHow can i get rid of it? What are you experiences with it? Just lower tje dosage to 50 mg? Talk maybe with a psychologist and talk about underlying problems? Yes I am going to contact a doctor about it but I am stuck here in another country thanks to Covid19. Thank you all!", "post_id": "fuvd9f", "comment_id": "fmgrxin"}, {"question": "Welcome to the stupidest part of medicine. I think you want [E53.8](https://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/E00-E89/E50-E64/E53-/E53.8), and that's the site I'd use to find ICD10 codes.\n\nHowever, before you go down the testing road, I have some concerns. As far as I know, MTHFR testing is largely not validated, but it's aggressively used by pseudo-medical quacks. If you aren't B12 deficient, you aren't B12 deficient and don't need to go down the rabbit hole.\n\nYou could get all of these labs, but in the absence of symptoms of B12 deficiency even testing B12 is of debatable value. The rest to me looks very questionable. As long as you're a vegetarian but not vegan and eat enough animal products, or have been taking B12 supplements, there's no immediate reason to assume deficiency.", "comment": "I know this is probably an annoying question.\n\nI am 36/M/240/6'2\".\n\nI went to my doctor a month ago asking for my vitamin B and folate levels to be tested because I didn't want to continue taking a multi-vitamin indefinitely after reading more into the risks/benefits, but I am a vegetarian and my psychiatrist previously told me I had equivocal MTHFR results that might make me not process folic acid correctly.\n\nI had a list of tests I asked for:\n\nRBC and serum folate,\n\nRBC magnesium,\n\nHomocysteine,\n\nmethylmalonic acid,\n\nholotranscobalamin\n\nHe said he would think about it and get back to me (he said OK to regular B12 and magnesium\u2014but even that took him about a half hour to write out, searching on his computer).  \n\n\nHe thought about it and has told me it is my \"homework\" to find the ICD codes that would support each test. He said it's a pain in the ass to do. I don't think he's doing this to make a point. I really think he thinks I can do this. He seems to think I'm very good with computers (which maybe I am compared to him . . .) This seems to kind of be an ongoing thing. Recently he sent in a script for me to my pharmacy that had no diagnosis code on it. And the same thing happened with a pre-auth for a med he sent to my insurance company. I don't think he has enough support staff.\n\nI am usually good at finding info (I can find the CPT codes), but I am having trouble with the ICD codes.\n\nIs all this behind a paywall? I've been searching Medicare, CMS, and other sites, including my own insurance company's site, and I've found sites that \\*look\\* like they could help me, but they require subscriptions that cost thousands of dollars.", "post_id": "9m9hu9", "comment_id": "e7d15wp"}, {"question": "If you're willing to address these things that bother you in the moment, proportionally, they won't linger to leave a bad taste in your mouth, accumulating into bitterness and resentment. ", "comment": "Things are mostly good. Sex is good. We both have supportive families and we see each other a lot. She isn't flaky and we always keep in touch during the day and plan activities. We also lead an active athletic lifestyle. \n\nI wouldn't consider the following \"problems\" but minor annoyances that are simply building up. Nothing to break up over but maybe I need a way to communicate things, or if I'm simply overthinking everything. I \n\nI'm the one who goes to her house everyday. She lives 10 minutes from me but those add up. I go there since she has two dogs and I don't have a yard. She has a yard and a park across the street. Cute, well mannered labs.  Slightly annoying to make the trips and I don't always go over there if I have plans at night but it's usually 4-6 times a week I'm sleeping over there. I have a nicer place than she does, garage, etc. When I'm over there I park on the street and already got hit once which was a nightmare. Not her fault but still. I'll pack a bag and sometimes will leave my bag somewhere, in which leads to her commenting that it's not in the bedroom. I try my best to remember but it's annoying. Umm hello, how about you come to my place and pack your bags every day? Haven't said that though. \n\nI've mowed her grass for her a handful of times which takes about 30-45 minutes. I offered but haven't bothered lately since she barely said a \"thank you\" for the first time. If this were me, I'd offer to buy dinner somewhere or have a meal prepared even if it's Mac n Cheese or PB&J. Something to show appreciation. But she just stays on the couch watching her show. (She mentioned that she sucks at saying thank you's - but if she knows she's bad at it, why not fix it?) Give me a hug, give me a BJ. Something. Her grass along the sidewalks needs trimming and I mentioned my uncle has one, but when I looked at it, it was super fancy and pricey and won't fit in my car to  be honest. I tell her to buy one for $40 at the local store or even one on craigslist but she won't. I'm not borrowing it more than one time, and I changed my mind about the first time too lol.  Sorry but if I barely get a thank you for mowing, why the flip would I go out of my way for that too? No thanks.\n\nWhen I was leaving for work this morning, she was tidying up as her friend was coming over right after work. She says \"you didn't make the bed.?\" - to which I replied \"nope. Bye have a nice day.\" She didn't say bye. She usually says bye. \n\nWhen I show up to her place after work I usually smile and go for a kiss, but she doesn't give me a hug or kiss. She let's her dogs greet me and it's straight into bitching about her day, what's going on, or no smile. She mentions that she's Type-A - \"competitive, outgoing, ambitious, impatient and/or aggressive \" but I think she just has the impatient/aggressive type of A. The other day she realizes that she doesn't have enough money to go on vacation because she needs a new car. It's my vacation too. I have savings and could've gone on the nicer trip. I'm fine with choosing a different location but still. Now she's realizing she has to wait and save a bit more and her credit to come up a bit. I get it, some days just suck, but she also spend a crap ton of money on clothes and shit she doesn't need like decoration furniture pieces. I feel it's too soon to throw my comments in about money, plus she makes double what I do. But I have joked that she spent her future car payment at Nordstrom in one weekend.\n\nThings just seem like I'm putting more happiness into things than she is. I mow the grass, come over, put more affection into things, and keep my bitching to a minimum and not let it affect my day. I leave my stress at work. I even do the dishes maybe once every other week. Since I use the dishes too. I try not to make things a mess when I come over. \n\nAlso, I drive most places as my car is already outside and her car has dog hair all over it and dirty. \n\nWhen I look at the 6 months we've been dating I often ask myself - what's in it for me? Is this more hassle than it's worth or am I just being too sensitive over minor shit? I feel like, if I do mention any of this, it'll make one tip-toe around me. And make it seem like I'm too sensitive. \n\nWhat effort is she putting into ME? Why me instead of some other male? Why me at all?\n\nThanks for reading", "post_id": "6dhnti", "comment_id": "di2p457"}, {"question": "It definitely seems like he likes you! I think he probably interpreted you running away and not \"putting out\", so to speak, as you not being interested. Maybe he took it as a rejection and is embarrassed.  \nYou like him, and he likes you, so don't let this little misunderstanding get in the way of anything. It may feel hard, but try to be honest and just say that you're not very experienced and didn't know what to do. No need to feel embarrassed about that, either. You're only 19. And many guys actually like women who are inexperienced (the whole \"purity,\" virgin thing...plus it can be cute)", "comment": "Two weeks ago I matched with a cute guy who shared my similar interests on Tinder. We started texting on the app until he gave me his number, a week ago. We have been texting at least once a day (nothing sexual- just questions about each other). He has always been forward and initiated most of relationship. He was the one to give me his number and he was persistent in asking me out. I finally agreed to it and we went out two days ago (2/15) to a restaurant.  I really enjoyed getting to know him and he was so sweet. After dinner he walked me to my apartment and we kissed in front. This was my first kiss and it was extremely awkward- he snuck in tongue almost immediately and put his hand on my butt. I was clueless in what to do and basically froze. After 30s I moved my head to give him hug goodbye (but he took it as a signal in getting more air and tried to kiss me again). I stammered out a goodbye and ran into my apartment. It has been 24 hrs without a text from him, and I'm worried that he doesn't like me. I really like him and I feel bad that I didn't tell him I had any experience prior to our date. I know he probably sounds sleazy from my description but I swear he was a gentleman! Should I text him or should I see that him not texting me back is a sign that he's not that into me? ", "post_id": "5uk4br", "comment_id": "ddurizm"}, {"question": "Therapist here.\n\nWhat kinds of benefits do you get out of this thought process? If it was 100% hurtful and not helpful in the slightest, you wouldn't have any motivation to continue doing it. It might seem like a callous question, but these processes get encouraged and reinforced SOMEHOW. What else is going on that this process lessens/facilitates/puts you at ease in some way?\n\nGenerating internal well-being consists of a lot of different things. When someone has an external locus of control (they either allow outside circumstances to dictate their own actions or being and subsequently may also have an urge to control outside factors despite lack of power), they learned that from somewhere. Developing a better internal locus on control (separating outside external processes from internal processes and self-modulating from within) includes un-learning previous behaviors and processes and putting active energy to redirect them.", "comment": "During my most vulnerable stages of depression and (social) anxiety, only thing that determines my state of feeling \u201ccontent\u201d or \u201cokay\u201d are outside things. If I\u2019m feeling lonely or like a friendship is dwindling for example, the only thing that\u2019ll make me feel \u201cokay\u201d is getting a massage from that specific person. I\u2019m so tired of feeling this way. I\u2019ve legit let small trivial things like that ruin my whole day and will flip a switch at the drop of a hat the minute the one little thing that\u2019s bothering me stops happening. \n\nLetting outside factors determine my levels of content has really messed me up and 1000% has made me overlook and take for granted the things that should be important to me. I don\u2019t know how to \u201cundo\u201d this way of thinking and quite frankly don\u2019t even know where to start. I go to therapy and don\u2019t really thing it\u2019s helping lol.", "post_id": "ecp7tr", "comment_id": "fbdlp8h"}, {"question": "Note that I am a therapist but I am not YOUR therapist and the accuracy of my advice may vary based on where you are located, as well as the training, ethical code, and clinical judgement of your specific therapist. YOUR therapist knows a lot more about this than I do, and I can't provide psychological help over reddit. \n\nFWIW, my experience is that clients fear that I am MUCH more likely to involuntarily hospitalize them than I actually am. \n\nHowever, I always feel cautious about giving specifics for OTHER therapists because I do not know where you are, how your therapist is licensed, or how your therapist interprets their ethical and legal obligations. \n\nWith that said, I will note that suicidal ideation is very common. If we hospitalized everyone who thought about killing themselves, we would be hospitalizing a truly absurd number of people. (In fact, FWIW, I would be hospitalized.) \n\nIn my clinic, involuntary hospitalization would look something like, \"I have a specific plan to kill myself that I intend to carry out and I refuse to safety plan with you.\"\n\nI strongly encourage you to ask your therapists about this. For example, in your shoes, I might say something like, \"I remember you saying that one reason you might break confidentiality is if I pose a serious threat to myself. I am wondering if you can give me some more information about that. How does this clinic define this?\"\n\nIf you give your therapist information about suicidal thoughts, your therapist probably WILL ask you a bunch of questions to assess risk, such as asking if you have a gun in the house. This doesn't mean that they are trying to institutionalize you, but just that they are trying to figure out what sorts of things might need to be included on a safety plan if you end up making one. (And to make sure that they are documenting what they need to document.)\n\nThere may also be some additional considerations if you are under the age of 18.", "comment": "With everything that\u2019s been going on in my life recently (covid and lots and lots of personal stuff) I\u2019ve been suicidal but I really doubt that I\u2019m ever going to act on it. I don\u2019t want to hurt my family and give them one more thing to have to deal with, and I\u2019m absolutely terrified of failing and being sent back to a psych hospital. \n\nWith that being said, is there any way for me to tell my therapist that without her sending me to a hospital? I was already in one once and it didn\u2019t help at all, it was traumatizing because I was there against my will (and would be this time too if she sent me, I\u2019m assuming), it didn\u2019t help, and the only outcome that I got from it is that I\u2019ve been too AFRAID to attempt in fear of being sent back there in case I fail\n\nBasically my problem is that because I\u2019m afraid of my therapist sending me to the hospital, it\u2019s limiting what I can talk to her about, and it\u2019s things that I really want to talk about. Plus because of my current situation, I can\u2019t go to the hospital because I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d be able to finish my school work and I\u2019m supposed to be graduating this semester \n\nTo;dr if I explain to my therapist that I\u2019m suicidal but feel like I\u2019m VERY unlikely to attempt, and that I\u2019m VERY afraid of being sent to the hospital for multiple reasons, will she have to send me? Not being able to tell her is limiting things that I would like to talk to her about\n\n\nedit: I don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually, but thank you all. Everyone had valuable things to say that made me realize that telling her is the best option, and I am going to do so at our next session. Thank you all", "post_id": "fwq80o", "comment_id": "fmqd81b"}, {"question": "Welcome! <3", "comment": "It was a delightful experience. I walked in not knowing at all what to expect and was pleasantly surprised by the success stories of people who hit rock bottom. It was run by alcoholics, with alcoholics, for alcoholics and it was a community of hard-working, positive- thinking people who were confidently taking their recovery one day at a time.\n\nI am in contact with a sponsor and plan to go to two meetings a week.\n\nAfter one of the most hellish weeks of my life, after 5 years of drinking myself into a stupor, I am proud to say I am finally taking a real step towards fixing my future.", "post_id": "710zwf", "comment_id": "dn7jhgh"}, {"question": "go to marriage counseling", "comment": "Yes I know, talk to him. So easy and simple but not. Not when he references other conversations, taking what I've said out of context, or how I was before.ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for at least this past year.\n\nOur libidos don't match up anymore. They've gone from equal to him wanting it even more and me wanting it less. I can't even hug him, kiss him, cuddle, or even look at him without him getting hard and wanting to go have sex. If it were quickies I could do that, but it's like marathon sex sessions almost every time. I hate disappointing him with rejection so I've drawn back, I've stopped trying to touch him and be intimate because I don't want to turn him on only to tell him no, I'm not in the mood. It's a cycle that just keeps creating anxiety in me. \n\nI'm stressed about so many things I can't even decompress when I get home because he's right there, always trying for sex or just trying to get me to talk. I just need a few to come back from the day. I'm a true introvert and my energy stores have been depleted. I just can't deal. I've tried telling him this but i don't think he fully gets it. He use to be so good at reading me and my emotions, but now it's like he went blind.\n\nEvery day he tells me he misses me and can't wait to be home with me. It's not like we don't work in the same town, not like I won't be home in a few hours to see you. He also sends me porn links and sexts me multiple times a day, even on Fridays which I've told him not to before, they are a high stress day at work for me. Yes I could just ignore them like he says, but he could just not send them like I asked. I'd shut my phone off completely Fridays if I didn't need it for work. It's getting stiffling, I can't breathe. I don't have emotions like that. When he went to visit his parents for a few days I missed him, but it was nice being able to relax and not be anxious for those few days. When he came back we had great sex, multiple times a day for a few days. He wanted it to keep going, I didn't need it to. Thus the anxiety kicked back in.\n\nHe jerks off daily, most of the time at least twice a day. I'm fine with that, I really am. But usually he'd do it while I'm asleep or not home from work yet, now he'll just start jerking while I'm right next to him watching TV. If he thinks that's a good way to get me to join...It's not, it just kicks an anxiety attack into high gear and shuts me down even more. \n\nI guess I just needed to get this out so it won't play in my head all day. Idk of this even belongs here.\n\nUpdate: Incase anyone is still seeing this. We talked a little. Apparently when I say no nicely it reminds him of the crazy ex. He thinks I'm bored with our sex life so was trying different ways to ask me for sex. I told him I'm not bored, I'm just being turned off by his approach and that I don't want to hurt him. He said he understands I'm not always in the mood, that a hand or blow job would be ok too... Not exactly the best compromise but it'll do for now. \n\nAnd he won't cheat, wouldn't even take my offer to have an open marriage. We are kinky but he only wants me, yes that's what every woman wants isn't it? Sometimes though, would be nice to be the only one taking all the sexual attention. ", "post_id": "682pyr", "comment_id": "dgv8x9d"}, {"question": "I\u2019m so sorry. This is so common and so terrible. Sleep is so important. I guess I first want to ask what your \u201csleep hygiene\u201d looks like? When do you try to go to bed, what is your routine leading up to that? Are you having intrusive thoughts or memories? ", "comment": "I was with an abusive man for five years. It\u2019s getting close to two years since I\u2019ve made it out. This November marks two years since the last time he was violently abusive towards me. At first I was tired and couldn\u2019t do much of anything. Now it seems as though I\u2019m having trouble sleeping, which has never really been a problem I had. I see a counselor every other week and have been seeing one since I left, but it used to be weekly. I\u2019ve been taking steps forward in my life to keep from standing still and to try and get to a point where I can stop being crippled by him setting me back in life. I\u2019m going to just close my eyes and hope my brain shuts off. I don\u2019t know what to do. ", "post_id": "9zc1ee", "comment_id": "ea81jz2"}, {"question": "you did the right thing. don;t have any contact.  go slow next time. when you see a red flag, take it seriously. people have all kinds of tolerance for abuse these days. that's why dt is president.", "comment": "I'm pretty sure my latest ( and one of my shortest) relationships is over. She had become increasingly abusive, which I explained to her I would not tolerate, followed by cutting contact until she had a chance to cool off. Well last night she threatened to \"Show me what abuse really is\" So I'm gone like the wind. I'm not sure how to move on, as I'm not so much upset, as cold or numb. I only seem to attract crazy women, so I'm pretty I'm sure I am done with dating, if I can control myself long enough. But what else is there? I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I went into this relationship knowing this girl has issues (as do I), but it blew up in my face, yet again. She even yelled at me for being cold when she would scream at me. Why am I the one who has to control themselves, when she doesn't? Why do some women feed off what seems to be abusive behavior, both giving AND receiving. I simply do not understand people...", "post_id": "67uvch", "comment_id": "dgtfc9z"}, {"question": "if she won't talk about these important things than she may be too immature to be in a serious rel.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5kdimu", "comment_id": "dbn7ume"}, {"question": "Why are you sure it's not a stye? Discharge or what? \n\nStyes sometimes swell up and don't ever come to a head", "comment": "The past two days my [the inner corner of the eye (the skin surrounding the eye, not the the eye itself)](http://imgur.com/a/Ctgh5) is mildly inflamed, and is very sore/painful to the touch, and hurt a snap amount when blinking. It's very slightly red and a decent amount larger than the inner corner of my other eye. I'm pretty sure its just an infection, but I don't know if I should do anything outside of washing it twice daily and waiting. Thanks.\n\nEdit: was a stye", "post_id": "6kd7iq", "comment_id": "djlaa2l"}, {"question": "I do not have a diagnosis of BPD and I experience this at times (but I\u2019m also a slightly androgynous male).", "comment": "For 95 percent of the time I feel like a cisgender female , I like having my feminine body and my feminine face. But I have these very few moments where I get extreme gender dysphoria  out of nowhere? Like I want to be a man so badly for a short sporadic period of time . But it\u2019s not consistent nor do I like he/him pronouns ..., is it bpd unstable sense of identity ???? Anyone else have this ? This extreme shift in identity where u badly want to live a man\u2019s life and live as one . But then like a match it just burns out???", "post_id": "fq4hju", "comment_id": "flq17pg"}, {"question": "Hi. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m glad you exist. I really can\u2019t tell you how relieved I am the gun didn\u2019t fire. Hello. It\u2019s nice to meet you! ", "comment": "I\u2019m still kind of in shock that actually happened. Anyone want to talk?", "post_id": "ahfttt", "comment_id": "eee5o46"}, {"question": "Hi. I work in a psychiatric hospital and can give you what we (as in my facility) considers an attempt:\n\nIt is an active execution of any kind of plan designed to kill yourself, directly or indirectly. It involves am active planning process and involves you looking to that plan. It can be methodical (I will kill myself at x time using y method and ensuring z circumstances) or it can be impulsive in nature (this was all planned out on some level but due to other factors is not playing out totally like planned).\n\nGenerally we consider an \"attempt\" as failed by nomenclature. This may or may not involve injury or need medical attention. You may have set up everything meticulously and was on the verge of initiating the method and decided to stop. I consider that an attempt.\n\nRegardless, getting that far into the process, whether it was planned or more impulsive, and whether or not it implies medical attention is needed, is serious. What is most important is that something prevented the attempt from succeeding and ensuring the person is safe and taken care of afterwards.", "comment": "Is it only a consisted a suicide attempt if  you end up in the hospital critical care, needing medical interference to stop you from dying? yes or no?\n\n(Edited: Since examples confuse people which leads to unhelpful answers)", "post_id": "dj2b8p", "comment_id": "f425p5y"}, {"question": "He seems clearly to be choosing porn over you. You are not being overly sensitive.  You are completely justified in feeling this way.  It's not a reflection on you; don't take it personally. It's an issue *within* him. He's not going to keep relationships if porn is preferential. Suggest he talk to someone to ascertain why this preference exists.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "6ckz2i", "comment_id": "dhvguwp"}, {"question": "I wonder if Esther Perel's work could help? To my knowledge, she doesn't really speak much about depression but in general talks a lot about reviving connection, excitement, and intimacy in relationships and keeping the spark alive even in a long-term relationships or after difficult experiences like infidelity. She has some TED talks and a couple of books. She's brilliant.\n\nMaybe start here and see if it resonates? https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship", "comment": "Hello,\n\nI am a 32 year old male, have been with my wife for 10 years, and was diagnosed with Major Depression at 26. I am doing much better now after therapy and medication, but my wife and I are still struggling with our sex life. We went to couples therapy for a while, and it did teach us to communicate better, but that has not translated into our bedroom. When I look online, everything resource is about your sex life WHILE depressed, low libido, etc. I am recovered, and my wife and I both want to have sex, but we have developed a lot of bad habits and fears due to my depression and its affect on our relationship. If anyone has any resources or personal stories of recovering your sex life AFTER depression, I would very much appreciate any insight or guidance.", "post_id": "an4cec", "comment_id": "efr3gkv"}, {"question": "Have you tried meeting with a counselor? A counselor who specializes in Asperger's will be your best bet for finding out what mannerisms you are doing. They will have experience in spotting them, and will be able to help you change for the better.", "comment": "I have Asperger's and my life kind of sucks.  I didn't have friends until this semester when I joined a small fraternity at my college (maybe the only way I can make friends is through a long, controlled process) and I've never had a girlfriend or even met a girl who seems remotely interested in me.  Some people tell me it's because I'm \"depressed\" or \"not confident\" but I think it's because I'm a weird fucking guy like every other \"aspie\" I know.  My friends make fun of me all the time and I can't talk to a girl without her thinking I'm a freak.\n\nMy friends have told me that I am indeed a weird awkward guy, they told me that when I asked them for advice (the only advice they gave me was \"BE CONFIDENT BRO\") and I admire them for being honest with me unlike everyone else in my life.  Still, I always end up being the butt of all the jokes, everyone teases everyone but I always take the worst of it.  I always need to hear about how I'm awkward and weird and I have funny mannerisms and I'm getting sick of it.  They'd stop if I told them it bothered me, because they don't actually want to hurt anybody's feelings, but at the same time they'd think I can't take a joke since they have no idea how fucked up my life is.  The girls who hang out at the house have fun with all my brothers but ignore me unless they want me to do them a favor, which is often.  Some of them are condescending towards me and talk to me like I'm a kid and I'll probably tell them to go fuck themselves if they try it again.\n\nWe've been hanging out with a sorority lately and the girls in it don't seem to give a shit about me at all.  I tried to talk to two of them at a party, one ignored me (\"How are you doing?\" \"Good.\"  \"Thanks for helping us set all this up.\" \"M-hm.\" *walk away* [that happens to me a lot]) and the other talked to me but all the stuff I was saying sounded fucking weird (it wasn't the wrong stuff to say but my word choice and voice patterns sounded really weird) and she seemed uncomfortable so I just backed off.  One of my brothers talked to her for half an hour and got her number and they're still texting today.  I can't even imagine connecting with someone like that or even being able to hold a conversation that goes anywhere.\n\nAt the age I'm at (20) if people don't respect me by and large it's almost cetainly my fault, I'm not a kid anymore.  If I can't earn the respect of others then I don't deserve to live the life that I want.  I'm pretty sure the problem is that I have weird mannerisms, people with Asperger's have awkward posture, voice patterns, gestures, and facial expressions.  I can look at a picture of myself in a social setting and tell it's off but I can't tell why.  A few people have told me that I have weird mannerisms but can't put their finger on what it is.  How can I change this?  Most of the stuff I read about social skills is shit I already know (don't ramble, ask questions, keep eye contact, smile, etc.) but I think my problems are much more subtle than that.  How can I find out what my problems are and change them?  Is it even possible?", "post_id": "11npjh", "comment_id": "c6o5hkp"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sober 41 years and always refer people who resent addicts to the Big Book story \u201cDoctor, Alcoholic, Addict\u201d in it the writer talks about shooting up. If shooting up is good enough for the Big Book it\u2019s good enough for me. Questions about who can attend or not attend a meeting is pretty much up to the group conscience as expressed in the group\u2019s business meeting. Some groups are women only, some are men only. Some groups require that you avoid vulgar language others it\u2019s ok to say fuck. I know a group where you have to wear a tie if you are a man or a dress if you are a woman if you want to tell your story to the group. There\u2019s a meeting in my town for atheists only. There they close the meeting with the responsibility pledge. The old saying is all you need to start a new meeting is A coffee pot and a resentment. I personally prefer meetings that say it\u2019s ok to talk about drugs or other problems and it\u2019s ok to curse. My attitude towards groups that exclude addicts is that\u2019s their business, not mine and I\u2019ll take my sponsors advice and attend meetings where I feel comfortable and can identify with what\u2019s being said.", "comment": "Last week, I attended a closed women's mtg where one of the home group members asked someone who identified as an addict to leave.   Personally, I was flabbergasted/enraged.  (Note: I identify fully as an alcoholic).\n\nBasically, a few girls were there from a treatment center and one of them identified as an addict when newcomers were invited to introduce themselves.   The group secretary then asked the girl who identified as an addict if she had a problem with alcohol.   She was a little shocked/put on the spot, and said no, and the secretary said \"sorry, you can't be here.\"   She and her friends all walked out, more than blindsided.\n\nI understand there are traditions.   I understand there is an entire pamphlet written by Bill that is devoted to explaining why we cannot help nonalcoholic addicts.   But, what the fuck?   The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.   Thus, the only question that seems appropriate to pose to ANYONE is \"do you have a desire to stop drinking?\"   Also, perhaps wait until the end of the meeting and speak to this person one on one and have NA pamphlets on hand to give them?   \n\nI've never been more angry over something, so I thought I'd get some feedback.   This is my sponsor's home group, not mine.   If it was my home group, I would definitely call a group conscience and address this.   Should I call this person out?   Not go to the meeting anymore?   Seems shitty to just let one person run the show like that in such a horrible way.", "post_id": "e24kmo", "comment_id": "f8toej0"}, {"question": "Treating multiple family members is not inherently unethical,  and CAN be done well. There are therapists who are well trained in this and do a good job. It sounds like your therapist fits in this category.\n\n However , Treating multiple people in a family is a slippery slope , and can potentially open the door to a host of ethical and clinical concerns.  There was a post here (or in a similar sub) recently,  in which a woman described concerns with a therapist who was treating both her and her husband.  This became a problem because both husband and wife felt they were getting conflicting and confusing feedback.\n\nI'm really glad you had a good experience with your therapist.", "comment": "Did some light research and it seems like it's a gray area whether a therapist should treat multiple members from the same family, because it can be difficult to remain objective. I personally liked the idea of my therapist seeing the bigger picture to my family dynamics by seeing my sister and mom as well (she no longer sees my sister at all, and my mom only very rarely). I have never felt like my therapist has crossed a boundary otherwise.", "post_id": "h9jmgl", "comment_id": "fux1gje"}, {"question": "I'm a psychologist and have ADHD so I may be able to help but it's not based on scientific evidence, this is based off my personal experience and education in how brains work (bare in mind I'm not a neuro psych though).\n\nThe reason people with ADHD get distracted is because your brain kind of short circuits itself. \n\nImagine your \"lower order thinking\" such as subconscious thoughts like maintaining breathing, homeostasis, and instinctual reactions takes precedence over \"higher order thinking\" such as conscious thought, problem solving etc. This means that when your brain doesn't get what it needs, it does whatever it can to get it regardless of the higher order thoughts. An example, no matter how much you tell yourself not to breathe, if you hold your breath tthere will come a point where you will either pass out and breathe or involuntarily breathe in, either way your brain has done what it needs to survive by over riding your higher order thoughts.\n\nOne thing you need, just the same as oxygen, is feel good chemicals, without them we wouldn't pursue lovers and procreate for example. Now know that people with ADHD do not produce enough of these feel good chemicals in general. So, similar to the breathing, it doesn't matter how much your higher order thoughts say \"read this book\", your lower order thoughts say \"I'm overriding you because I need to survive. To do that I must receive stimulation to get some feel good chemicals.\" And your brain goes in search for something else. For someone neuro typical, there is balance in their brain that allows their higher order thoughts to drive the bus.\n\nAll this means we can pay attention until we are not receiving enough of the feel good chemicals our brain needs, at which point our brain becomes more \"primitive\" and goes in search of stimulation subconsciously and without our choosing to do so.\n\nNeuro typicals don't have this issue and so they can tell themself to just get this done and they can go do something fun after. That doesn't work for us though because right now we can't breathe and oxygen in the future when we are already dead won't do anything. Bit morbid lol sorry I made the metaphor up as I went along. That's just where it ended up. Hope this helps.", "comment": "It just occurred to me that people without ADHD and ADD could very well concentrate differently than people with those disorders. Googling this idea though only showed research on the effects of Adderall on people without ADHD and crappy articles on how to combat the effects of the disorders. It also occurred to me upon seeing this that I haven't seen a lot of information on how people without ADHD and ADD think.\n\nto be more specific with my question, can people without ADHD or ADD just concentrate on something without stopping? Do they still experience distractions, but to a lesser degree? Is it that people with ADHD or ADD have a completely different way of focusing and organization? Is there something that I missed completely?\n\nI should clarify that my knowledge of ADHD and ADD isn't the best. I consider myself to be on the ADD spectrum, but I've never had it formally diagnosed. Hell, most of my knowledge comes from those crappy articles that describe the effects of ADHD and ADD on people.", "post_id": "glwkjb", "comment_id": "fr0j1uo"}, {"question": "No. That's within normal range. Maybe just above it in some labs, but it will cause no symptoms or problems. It's actually very hard to have problems with high magnesium levels unless you are taking ridiculous amounts and have poorly functioning kidneys. I'd stop taking supplements, but otherwise you're fine.", "comment": "i just got the results back from a blood electrolyte level test (basic metabolic panel + magnesium). everything was normal, except i have hypermagnesia apparently. i'm a 109 lb, 19 yr old, 5'6\" female for reference. i took a magnesium oxide supplement two days in a row (1 day 250 mg, the next day 125 mg) like 5-6 days ago? could that have influenced it? otherwise, i am generally healthy, with functioning kidneys, and no other pressing health issues (aside from chronic constipation and a history of disordered eating).\n\ni'm panicking quite a bit over this (i have severe health anxiety), so any input would be greatly appreciated. thank you.", "post_id": "8wqqij", "comment_id": "e1xpmys"}, {"question": "The discomfort you feel may be caused by by a physiological reaction to perceived threat.  There was a project in Russia to discover the physiological differences between wild animals and domesticated animals that took place over 50 years.  Wild arctic foxes were bred to select for lack of fear of humans by choosing the least fearful of each litter as determined by the pups response to the entrance of a human into the pen where they were kept.  At the end of 50 years of breeding a completely tame fox that was as curious and friendly as a golden retriever was developed.   The difference between the tame fox and the wild fox was the secretion of the hormone oxytocin.  I suggest to you that you are a little wilder than most other people and that you can tame yourself the same way that wild horses are tamed.  The technique is called progressive desensitization.  This will take some time.  In the short term, you can practice conscious breathing, and dramatically slow down your breath while in the presence of others while simultaneously making mental notes of the details of the other peoples appearance and mannerisms.", "comment": "Is there any point in letting this get me down?\n\nI have no real friends IRL. The only \"friends\" I have aren't even really my friend's their my fiance's friends, and he's closer to them then I will ever be so it doesn't even count. I used to have friends, but they have all screwed me over in some form (I'm sort of a pushover). I had a best friend for almost 10 years but she stole my grocery and phone bill money so I had to stop being friends with her. I also have social anxiety disorder so trying to make new friend's is the equivalent to walking on hot coals for me. I come off as bitchy or weird to people because I'm too nervous to start conversations with people and just wait for them to talk to me, which rarely happens because of said reason. My social anxiety isn't something that I can just shake off either which people seem to not understand when I tell them it's difficult to make friends. I'm in college now and I'm stoked to be there learning about something I love. But from a social standpoint I'm uncomfortable in my own skin while I'm there. Being around people my own age makes it even worse. During lunch break I just wonder around all by myself awkwardly hoping people don't notice me and think I'm a total freak or something. \n\nI've been really letting it get me down the past few months, and I'm tired of feeling sad over it. When something goes wrong in my life I can talk to my fiance about it, but sometimes I just wish I had another women to talk to stuff about because somethings only women can relate to. Or if me and my fiance get into a bad argument, I have nobody to talk to about it and I just end up going insane and taking it out on him even more.\n\nI don't know anymore. Should I just face the facts that I'm meant to be friendless and try to live a happy life regardless or should I just get my hopes up that somebody will befriend me only to be let down over and over again?", "post_id": "2fp7qa", "comment_id": "ckblgqs"}, {"question": "There's a term for this: micturation syncope. (That's fancy medical words for urination fainting.) We don't really know why it happens, but you're not alone in having this odd experience.", "comment": "This happened a few years ago when I was probably 15 or 16, 5'8, and around 155 lbs, no medical conditions, no medications. I am female. So I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (which was kind of painful in my bladder for some reason), when I was done I started to feel very, very nauseous and I felt like I was losing my hearing (sound was muffled and I think my ears were ringing, but not sure about that part). I walked to my parents' room to tell them and started walking back to my room, but I lost consciousness three or four times (according to my dad) and ended up on the floor. This has only happened this one time, but I just don't know why.\nSorry, I have just always wanted to know why this happened! If anyone has an idea that would be appreciated. Thank you!", "post_id": "8bwh1q", "comment_id": "dxaam8t"}, {"question": "First of all, I have assumed that the two of you have defined what this relationship is.  I'll go further and assume that you are defining it as a serious committed monogamous relationship. I'm not sure why you think the conversation might run dry. There's always something to talk about especially for people in love. And you sound like a pretty together person so I somehow don't think that conversation is going to run dry anytime soon. I wouldn't worry about different senses of humor because in the big picture that's not a super important kind of thing that every couple has to share exactly. I think you're just anxious because you really like this guy, perhaps more than anyone you've ever met, so when that happens we're more afraid of losing the person, thus we worry more. I would just try to relax with it and enjoy it and just be yourself, don't try to be someone you're not, don't worry about sassy or feisty or anything like that. People either love us for for us or they don't. We have no control over that because because all we can do is be ourselves.", "comment": "Sorry for the vague title, but I'm wondering if anyone could weigh in here to help me feel at ease. I've started regularly seeing this guy who I'm really starting to fall for. There are tons of things about him that I like and its been a long time since I've felt this way for anyone. \n\nHere's what I feel good about:\n\n\n\n\n-He's more of a man than other guys I've dated, ie more mature\nHe wants me but doesn't NEED me\n\n\n-logical, so he balances me out \n\n\n-genuinely good person\n\n\n-smart\n\n\n-organized\n\n\n-respectful towards me and others\n\n\n-self aware\n\n\n-opinionated\n\n\n-levelheaded\n\n\n-practical\n\n\n-awesome sex\n\n\n-hot body\n\n\n-shares a lot of my values\n\n\n-not afraid to follow his gut\n\n\n-takes calculated risks\n\n\n-takes the lead\n\n\n-I can be myself around him\n\n\n-caring\n\n\n-depth and passion under the surface\n\n\n\n\n\nThings I'm worried about:\n\n\n-conversation might run dry\n\n\n-overlapping but somewhat different senses of humor \n\n\n\n\n\nI am sexy and he loves my art and music, so I'm not worried that he's not attracted to me. Right now he's very into me. I'm just convinced deep down that we'll run out of things to say to each other and he'll get bored of me. Also, I'm by no means a push over, but I am extremely easy going. Its not because I have no back bone, but because I can easily see different sides of things. I'm scared he'll want someone sassier and feistier than me and that I won't be enough of a \"challenge\" to keep his interest. This is the first guy who's come along who I've felt this insecure about (besides high school infatuations a long time ago).\n\nAm I being pathetic? How do I stop worrying? is the sense of humor thing a problem? Also, we talk a lot in person but he doesn't really text me. Does that mean something? I feel insane right now, its kind of out of character for me to feel like this.", "post_id": "5qe5cl", "comment_id": "dcyk6c7"}, {"question": "Not a doc, but went through similar. Heart damage typically doesn\u2019t pop up overnight so you should be ok. Likely anxiety", "comment": "I am a 21 yom in healthy shape and I am not able to see my pcp for a couple weeks and I just wanted to get an opinion as to what I may be experiencing.\n\nSymptoms: Two weeks ago I had about a 20 minute period of my heart beating out of my chest with palpitations occurring every 2-3 minutes, this happened at midnight, but my heart rate was 65 bpm. I was anxious during the entire episode as well which I think made it worse. I would have very occasional palpitations before and went to a cardiologist 2 years ago and he ran tests and assured me my heart was fine. This episode freaked me out though and for the next two weeks I have had one or two random palpitations where I need to catch my breath after. Also have been having slight headaches regularly and would see stars out of nowhere. I woke up out of breath a couple days ago and have just not been feeling completely normal and just restless. During the day I have generally felt like I need to catch my breath even if I'm just sitting down. I also tend to overthink everything a lot and stress myself out and that makes these symptoms worse. When I am occupied or busy I tend not to notice symptoms. I am also on a low carb diet as of 4 months ago. No medications. \n\nI am a pharmacy student and have a big course load and in organizations which can cause me to be stressed regularly. I am hoping these symptoms are  just anxiety related and there isn't another underlying cause.  Any input would be appreciated!", "post_id": "72webx", "comment_id": "dnlz47b"}, {"question": "Addiction psychiatrist here. Yeah its a worrying situation, and most people have provided salient advice. Ultimately it will have to come from his own motivations, hopefully he will realise the consequences of his drinking before its too late.", "comment": "So my friend is a 21 year old male and he told me that the doctors told him that his liver has doubled in size and to cut down on drinking, he told me he hasn't and doesn't want to go back. How concerned should I be for him? ", "post_id": "6wh7cx", "comment_id": "dma8vwm"}, {"question": "I'm a child and adult psychiatrist specializing in victims of trauma/abuse. I'm very sorry for what you've experienced throughout your life so far. I agree with the other physicians who had already replied: your physical symptoms may all (or mostly all) be due to excessive alcohol intake combined with the resultant nutritional deficiencies and effects on your GI tract and nervous system. The non-physical symptoms can be explained by a combination of alcohol abuse and your preexisting mental health disorders. None of your symptoms seem mysterious, and none seem due to Chernobyl. I hope you seek help for your drinking as well as for your medical and mental health symptoms.", "comment": "Hello, I'm a female who is currently 21 and was born in Klintsy, Russia in the Bryansk Oblast region. It was the heaviest contaminated city from the Chernobyl disaster. My family and I survived, but I am suffering effects currently and doctors are just as perplexed to meet a victim. I came to the US in 1999 and settled in Johnstown, PA (was adopted). My area is full of coal plants and other contaminants such as sulphur polluting our rivers as they're orange and many other issues including pollution. \n\nI am 5' 3\" and 108lbs. My race is Russian Indigenous (I'm not sure what group we belong to, as a kid I was always told to mark Eskimo as my demographic) and Caucasian mixed. My current medical issues that I've been diagnosed with are PTSD, RAD, BPD, Bipolar II, Severe Clinical Depression, traces of schizophrenia, Barrett's esophagus, H-pylori, and possibly Chrons and fibromyalgia (these were potential diagnoses before I left my doctor due to poverty and not being able to see her for months). I do drink quite a lot which is potential for my problems as well ranging from 10-15 beers a night to 1-5. It varies and isn't consistent. I also have scoliosis (12\u00b0 curve).\n\nMy current medication is only Birth Control and I take Adrenal Dessicated for helping my mental aliments. \n\nMy symptoms are: \nI used to be relatively darker skinned (dark beige to cocoa) naturally and I turned ghostly pale and anemic. I've suffered with exhaustion, vomiting, diarrhea constantly, stomach pains, burning chest, hallucinations, heavy memory loss, burning nerves, inability to properly eat as I regurgitate or feel awfully nauseous afterwards. I always have a fever hit me and water is not something I can drink often. These symptoms have been devastating me for about 5 years now.\n\nBeing a Chernobyl victim is very isolating and many American doctors are perplexed by my story. I was born only 4 hours away from the plant. I really need any kind of help as my medical insurance is very poor and I'm too poor to get the help I need.", "post_id": "bv8303", "comment_id": "epomc1p"}, {"question": "I think that you may want to seek therapy to get coping skills on reducing your anger. But also try to find a mantra that calms you down (people have the right to be stupid) and learn to set firm boundaries on people who have opposing values.", "comment": "A few examples:\n\nMy mother in law thinks covid 19 is a hoax. She posts memes and articles on facebook about it being no worse than the flu, it\u2019s a leftist hoax to control the masses, a conspiracy to make money off of vaccines etc. It makes me so angry to the point where it\u2019s the first thing I think about in the morning. I don\u2019t argue with her because there\u2019s no point. I can\u2019t convince her anyway. But my mind still grinds away at all the counter arguements I would make.\n\nAnother example is that I\u2019m a vegetarian leaning towards vegan, and we feed our three kids vegetarian/vegan food at home. I\u2019ve been a vegetarian for 13 years, I obviously know my shit. But last week one of my friends started talking about how it\u2019s a fad, that people get obsessed with \"the environment\" and take it too far by raising their kids vegan and making them malnutritioned. I told her that\u2019s not true, it\u2019s perfectly doable to raise kids on a vegetarian / vegan diet, but she straight up told me to \"just google it\". This is a dear friend so I\u2019m not gonna cut her off because she\u2019s stubborn and ignorant about vegetarianism. Still, I find myself letting my brain go haywire thinking about the stuff I should\u2019ve said, arguements I could\u2019ve made about proteins, calcium, vitamins, the environment, etc etc.\n\nIn the moment I kinda freeze up and try to smoothe things over because I don\u2019t want to end up argueing. I\u2019d rather just change the subject. I know from experience that I can rarely change someone\u2019s mind when they\u2019re already really stubborn about something. Also, I have a hard time remembering and articulating my points on the spot. So I try to take the \"high road\" and just ignore it. But I really struggle with letting it go. When someone has opinions I view as wrong, dangerous (covid hoax), cruel (thinking kids in cages at the border is necessary), ignorant (veganism is dangerous), it bothers me SO much. Like I\u2019ll be in the shower and just remember that a friend or family member said something outrageous and it upsets me so much.\n\nAnyone else here ever gone through the same thing? Any tips on how to not give a fuck that other people have opinions that are extremely different from mine? Because that\u2019s just kinda how the world works, and I want to be more at peace with it.\n\n**tl;dr** when someone has opinions (politics, diet, childrearing, what have you) that are extremely different from mine, I can\u2019t let it go and get over it. Need some tips on how to be at peace with people having, in my opinion, stupid opinions.", "post_id": "gdv3p1", "comment_id": "fpjmytn"}, {"question": "It might be cheaper, but I worry that some folks need someone trained to help and there can be more damage done or misinformation given by well intentioned folks online without the training.  There\u2019s a reason therapists get masters and doctoral degrees. Trust me it\u2019s not just for funsies (well maybe a little funsies). But the training does a lot in terms of the professional looking at their own values, views, etc that are needed to provide the care ethically and effectively.  The approaches we learn are evidence based and have rational and skills that are learned as part of training. \n\nYes some could argue that there\u2019s a bunch of therapists on here that are providing info and support, but this isn\u2019t the same as going into a session and really getting into the nitty gritty stuff. To be in the here and now in the moment with a client to really experience the emotion and have someone there to process through that emotion. There needs to be on going sessions where these things can be explored, processed, and worked through that cannot be done via the internet. The relationship that is built between therapist and client is the number one thing that is going to help create change. It\u2019s the one on one and the digging into things in session. I might see a look or hear something in the voice that tells me a LOT of info that words on a screen will never convey. It\u2019s those things that in the moment I can grab onto and dig in, so many times this is one of those break through moments in the process.  \n\nSo yes there\u2019s a place for online things and if someone asking something on Reddit helps them to dig deep and take the step to go to therapy awesome! However, I don\u2019t believe it could be a replacement for real in person therapy. There\u2019s so much more that goes into sessions than just words and techniques.", "comment": "Saw a meme about how \"confessing to strangers\" is cheaper than going to a therapist.\n\nThat got me thinking about what would a therapist say about people who do anonymous conversations to talk about things they wouldn't want to bring up with their friends... \n\nHealthy, unhealthy, more harm than good, or neutral? Assuming other users of whatever messaging platform are generally average people also... Not like weird fringe anonymous message boards but like the mainstream social media anonymous messaging platforms.", "post_id": "ehfffk", "comment_id": "fcj1ahe"}, {"question": "As others have said.  It won't show up on a background check.  Background checks generally show if you have any criminal charges, or driving record (if applicable), they don't show involuntary hospitalizations.  \n\n\nWhat an involuntary hospitalization will likely impact is your ability to own a firearm or be employed by the armed forces or police as others have stated but that's about it.  ", "comment": "In October I was taken to the hospital by police after my psychiatrist learned I had tried something stupid the previous night, and then I left her office abruptly in sheer panic. \n\nI\u2019m interested in volunteering at a counseling/crisis center, as I am thinking about becoming a counselor and would like some experience first.\n\nHowever, I am afraid to volunteer or really look for any work at all because I am afraid this stay will show up on a background check. \n\nDoes it work that way?\n\nI\u2019m in New York, and that is also where the incident occurred if that helps any. \n\nThank you!\n\nEdit: fixed sentence for better clarity. \n\n", "post_id": "aacgpe", "comment_id": "ecrcsdi"}, {"question": "If you pick up a drink it will not even make things better for a moment. You\u2019ll immediately be filled with even more guilt and shame, and not only will your problems still be there, you will have more to deal with. Hang in there. It\u2019s always darkest before the dawn. Things will get better if you allow them the time to do so.", "comment": "I've been having a lot of trouble at work lately, and now another layer has been added. I work at a place where I'm one of four people who have the same job, and we all work together closely on a team. They're upset with me because they feel like I'm not accountable and they have to pick up my slack. They're probably right, honestly, because I've been such a fuckup at work this year. These people are my closest friends in an environment where I feel like shit is coming at me from all sides. Now I feel like I have no one, and I feel worthless, and like I don't do anything right. \n\nThese are the times that the little voice inside me starts telling me that a drink will fix this now. I also start low-key wanting to die when I get like this. I'm trying to tell myself that ordering pizza and reading my book is going to make me feel better than being drunk and emotional, but it's so hard. \n\nI hate everything.", "post_id": "bope0o", "comment_id": "enjg4p4"}, {"question": "I having been doing this with my Vyvanse for the past 8 years. It has been a lifesaver!  ", "comment": "I'm the typical(After thinking about it I might not be typical. Let me know in the comments!) ADHD paitent with sleep issues. \n\n1. I stay up as long as I can because reading random Wikipedia pages and finding new \"hobbies\" sounds soo much more stimulating than sleeping even though I know that I already have to be awake in 6 hours.\n\n2. I wake up quite often but always want to go back to sleep. I can sleep all day and still be tired. (At least I think this is an issue the rest of you all have.)\n\n3. Even though my psychiatrist prescribed me trazadone/zzzquil/melatonin I don't take them because I don't want to go to sleep and if I do take them I will stay up past their half life and they won't work. (I'm pretty sure some of y'all deal with this aswell?)\n\nI like to wake up at the latest 10am so what I've been doing is keeping my meds and a bottle of water by my bedside. Setting an alarm for 7am and taking my meds at that time. Then I set one for 830. Usually if the 830 alarm doesn't wake me up I will already be awake and out of bed making my coffee.\n\nI have told my psychiatrist that I do this and he has never had any complaints. \n\nI can still sleep till noon even if I do this but I have to really really really be wanting sleep. I try and not do that though because using this method can make me a slight bit drowsy during the day.\n\nOverall I would prefer to be slightly drowsy than waste away 4 hours of my day resting but not ever feeling refreshed.", "post_id": "70xm5d", "comment_id": "dn6s3a5"}, {"question": "all you can do is apologize and hope she accepts.", "comment": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 18 months now and attend the same college, and we are both majoring in accounting. Anyway, so last week, I forgot my girlfriend's birthday, but somehow remembered to go to a female friend's 21st birthday party, which was exactly two weeks before my girlfriend's. This friend is someone who I went to high school with, and we attend the same college. My girlfriend got really upset with me and was disappointed that I could remember to go to a female friend's birthday, but not hers. She also said that it shows a complete lack of commitment. I am really committed to this relationship, its just that I had a lot of tests to study for including one where it was possible to fail, even with lots of studying. I told her that I needed a break from studying, so thats why I went to my friend's birthday. This made her feel even more upset with me. What should I do?! She hasn't texted me back in almost a week now.", "post_id": "5kbvtz", "comment_id": "dbmu5xk"}, {"question": "You got it backwards. The line is also missing a crucial word.  It's not Living well is the best revenge, it's living well for yourself is the best revenge. When you start living for you, and only you, and not to show those who wronged you that they are wrong, then you will be able to find happiness. You have to learn to let go of those grudges. If you keep holding onto poison it will make everything you touch die. ", "comment": "God, I hate this line. Because it will never happen for me, at this rate. My list of 'people who've wronged me' is a long one. At the height of each (real or imagined) offense, I always swear (in my head)  that I'll *show them one day*, always imagine running into them at some point in the future -- when I'm successful, stable and happy.\n\nBut I've done nothing with my life, and have no one (I'm married to a neurotypical, so feel lonely where it counts). If I saw anyone on my list, I'd painstakingly avoid being seen by them because there's not a single one of them I have proven wrong. As it turns out, I *am* a loser, and deserve all the bad things they've done/said.", "post_id": "8vl5uu", "comment_id": "e1ob6ru"}, {"question": "The nutritional dose of B12 is in micrograms. The dose used in the B12 \"Cyanokit\" antidote is in tens of grams. That's roughly a thousand-fold difference. You couldn't orally consume enough B12.\n\nThe antidote also reduces mortality of lethal doses of cyanide to only around 30%, which is better but still not something to do for fun.", "comment": "26 white 165 pounds I read that they use b12 as an antidote for cyanide so could I chug an energy drink with a significant amount of b12 and not die from cyanide?", "post_id": "fah81v", "comment_id": "fiy47lp"}, {"question": "This completely depends on the problem they are having . There is no one solution.", "comment": "Let's say a wife and husband are having a difficult relationship and have many disagreements but choose to see a therapist to try to fix the relationship \n\nAt a high level, how would a therapist go about repairing that relationship?\n\nWould a therapist help the two see their commonalities/similarities and the strengthens in each other?\n\nAs a therapist, I would ask questions like why did you two fall in love, etc to invoke those strong memories", "post_id": "g2sslj", "comment_id": "fnnjm0s"}, {"question": "I feel this deeply. I keep trying to take risks and push myself out of my comfort zone to meet other people. I\u2019m happy on my own, but I also long for partnership and to build a life with someone. I\u2019m working on my own goals and feeling great about that, but I still get lonely.", "comment": "I wish I could find my person already. \n\nI\u2019m surrounded by people but I\u2019m lonely. I\u2019m good on my own but fuck, some days when you crash, and there\u2019s no one to turn to....I want that one person I can come home to that can hold me or that I can pour my heart out to. \n\nWhy does it take so long to find that person. I thought I found that person and then it all went to shit and I went back to being on my own. \n\nI just want to be held. And loved. And understood. And comfortable enough to just fall apart in my entirety in front of them and know they\u2019ll be there while I put myself back together, when I\u2019m whole, or when I\u2019m in shambles.  \n\nTo that person \u2014 where the FUCK are you and why are you taking so long to get here? \n\nTo the person I thought was that person \u2014 fuck you because now where there was once ignorance and bliss, there is an empty hole craving to be filled with someone else\u2019s nurturing no matter how complete I am without someone else. \n\nI am a huge advocate of self growth before relationships but shit. I can have all my shit together and I\u2019m always going to feel this way. I\u2019ve daydreamed about true love my whole life, it\u2019s just who I am. I don\u2019t need it but God, do I fucking want it so badly.", "post_id": "bw5qfs", "comment_id": "epvnkbw"}, {"question": "try couple therapy", "comment": "I'm really hoping this relationship hasn't gone way past damaged to the point of not being able to fix it. I'm (21,f) deeply in love with my on-off boyfriend (20) and im going out of my mind trying to make this work. This is a long term serious relationship and I plan on spending the rest of my days with him. We've gone very far into it, maybe even too fast. Its damaging the both of us mentally and now physically. Our arguments usually end up with me climbing up roofs and cutting and him going out almost every night partying and drugs. The pain is so much bigger than the both of us now and I need help desperately. He's always trying to make me jealous by being very controlling and mean. Controlling as in I cut off most of my friends and when i try to make new ones, he accuses me of trying something. He's accused me of cheating at times because of the first time when he thought I did and now when i get paranoid of when he's about to accuse me out of nowhere for no reason. \n\nThe point is I've sacrificed a lot of things important to me and I feel lost now having to fix this all alone. I'm not delusional or infatuated, he always had good intentions and still does. Him keeping every single thing from me is driving me insane, insane lonely to the point of me trying every single thing to get away from my thoughts. He doesn't want to cheat but every time he goes out without me, he's surrounded by hoes throwing themselves at him and barely wearing anything. There are so many other reasons that bring the little demon voice behind my head closer to getting to me. I want this to be me having a problem so I can fix myself and stay calm when i have every right to go insane. This is so that I can be the bigger person and go back to him then it'll be his turn to change. He will, he's done it before, I just need to know how I can control my emotions in a time like this and not relaspe and hurt myself. I know its a very unhealthy relationship but I want to fight through this, it means everything to me for me to get him back. \n\nWe both have our faults and mistakes, each caused by either one of us. Mine would be unintentional compulsive lying, getting paranoid and hiding things then getting defensive about it. His would be controlling, emotionally abusive at times, thinks the worst of me. But we've had way better days, he was there for me when I hit rock bottom and we've done a lot for each other. Now I feel like almost everything has been said, I'm stuck and I'm still fighting with all my heart. I just don't want to make a wrong move, where either one of us gets seriously physically hurt because I'm holding on to this for a little while more. I need to know how I can find strength now when all my strength is built on him alone. \n\n\n\n", "post_id": "6830ig", "comment_id": "dgv8nkz"}, {"question": "Sheesh. I don't really care what happens behind closed doors as long as everyone is consenting and are aware of the risks. Nevertheless placing individuals into a state of unconsciousness is inherently dangerous and could lead to serious consequences through misadventure.\n\nWe can't stop you, but id be looking for something a little safer to get your kicks.", "comment": "My girlfriend is 25. She is healthy and does not have any medical conditions. The only medication she takes is a birth control pill. She drinks moderately (3-4 drinks/night) on the weekends. She does not smoke or take recreational drugs.\n\nAnd she really, really likes being choked during sex.\n\nLying on top of her, I place my forearm across the side of her neck, just below her jawline and gradually apply pressure (to what I assume is her carotid artery).\n\nWithin 10 seconds, she'll slowly tense up, and then go limp - at that point she seems to lose consciousness.\n\nWithin a second of her going limp, I pull my arm away from her neck and wait for her to become alert again.\n\nAfter removing my arm, it takes a half second to a second before she \"comes to\".\n\nI haven't noticed any troubling physical reactions during or after she regains consciousness - no gasping for air, spasms, or twitching. She hasn't reported any negative symptoms afterwards.\n\nShe does have a momentary look of confusion when she regains consciousness - maybe a half second or so. She also breathes more rapidly for 10-15 seconds after she regains consciousness (it's generally during orgasm, so I'm not sure if it's related).\n\nI've been choking her like this 3-5 times a week for the last two months. Usually only once per session, sometimes twice.\n\nSo far, neither of us have any reason to be concerned. \n\nBUT I love this girl, and I don't want to hurt her or her awesome brain.\n\nI understand that the safest route would be not to engage in this kind of thing. We both enjoy it, and we're both comfortable with a certain amount of risk.\n\n**Note** I watch her very closely every time I choke her, and release pressure immediately when she loses consciousness. I'd like to know specifically about the risks with this 1-2 second loss of consciousness.\n\nQ1. Is this likely to cause significant brain damage over time?\n\nQ2. I apply pressure to the carotid with my forearm. Is there a safer method to induce unconsciousness?\n\nQ3. Is there a significant risk of immediate injury or death - stroke, heart attack, etc?\n\nQ4. Is this a really bad idea? Should we just stop?\n\n*Thank you!*\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nTL;DR: Is choking my girlfriend out during sex going to hurt her?\n\n(Throwaway because she's a total sweetheart and would be mortified if anyone knew that she was into this kind of stuff.)", "post_id": "4zslep", "comment_id": "d6yoguq"}, {"question": "This isn't a couple issue, it's a \"him\" issue that is affecting you guys as a couple. I would have a serious heart to heart with him. Empathize that youve been through something similar, and you're worried about him. Tell him you want to help him in anyway possible, but youre unsure how to do that. Express your concerns about how these issues are effecting you as a couple and ask him if he'd be willing to go to counseling to work on his depression/anxiety/insecurities. \n\nI can say one thing with confidence: this isn't something that you guys can just ride out. Long-term, if he doesn't figure out how to cope with what he is struggling with, he will bring you down with him. Not intentionally of course, but it becomes a lot of work to keep someone you love afloat when they're sinking into depression. It will drain you. I highly recommend encouraging him to seek professional help, not because he's crazy but because life can be hard and we all need help sometimes.", "comment": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for not quite a year, and to be honest in the beginning I didn't have a lot of confidence in the relationship, but the longer we've been together the more compatible we've become. He is incredibly thoughtful, generous, supportive, attractive, and we have a lot of fun together.\n\nNow the downside: he struggles a lot with his self confidence, and I feel I constantly have to support and reassure him. He is especially paranoid that I'm going to leave/cheat on him seemingly at any moment. This doesn't make him act out, but he often withdraws from me when he's clearly upset. I think this insecurity comes from several sources: \n\n1. This is his second relationship and I have much more experience sexually and with having other partners.\n2. His body does not fit his ideal (even though I think he's attractive and tell him so often)\n3. He recently quit a stable job to develop his photography practice, which is of course not the most lucrative field, and he does not have much income currently.\n4. He can't afford insurance to see a professional about his anxieties, which is a source of anxiety in and of itself.\n5. He doesn't have many friends. The few he does have are from college and do not live in the same state, so we only ever socialize with my friends. Outside of me and his direct family he doesn't have a relationship circle of his own.\n6. He recently admitted to me that he suffers from depression.\n\nThe thing is I know what it's like to be in his situation - a few years ago I also struggled with depression, unemployment, and the inability to believe that any other person would want to be with me. I realized that the only person who could really turn my situation around was myself, but I don't think my boyfriend understands this. I worry that his anxieties will bring us down, and I don't have a lot of confidence in his career choice. I'm finally in a stable place financially, and I don't really want to have to support him.\n\nI love him and I don't want to lose him. Is this a bad sign for our relationship, or is this just a temporary thing we can ride out together?", "post_id": "2a0y14", "comment_id": "ciqh4l4"}, {"question": "Drawing on myself in marker.", "comment": "My therapist and I are stuck. We can't find any alternatives that reliably work! Not even the ice cubes. They just make me uncomfortable so I throw them into the sink and grab the closest sharp object. What are some alternatives that have worked for you? I am hoping to find a new one that clicks!", "post_id": "1r3a93", "comment_id": "cdjhfq4"}, {"question": "When I\u2019m not on meds I usually spend most of my time driving reading billboards and signs, not paying attention to actually driving.", "comment": "So I was driving home from campus earlier and passed three of those orange traffic warning signs, one after another.... and completely failed to read what anyone of them said because I noticed that a car in the opposite lane had a dog in the passenger seat. \n\n​\n\n(Turns out there was work being done on a telephone line.)", "post_id": "axam9e", "comment_id": "ehsbt37"}, {"question": "> i want to be able to marry her tomorrow or at 40 years old or never, if that's what I choose\n\nYeah, so ... this is not how that works. Marriage and kids should be a joint discussion, and at 2.5 years it's entirely reasonable for her to make sure you're on the same page. This doesn't mean hard deadlines and naming future crib midgets ... but if you said you wanted to get married at 40, and she wanted to get married in the next 2 years, that would be a giant deal. \n\n> let her know that she needs to back off?\n\nOy. Be an adult, have the discussion. She shouldn't just be expected to hang out and shut up until you feel like moving forward.", "comment": "My gf and I have been together for 2.5 years, and things have been going well. I'd like to move in with her once our leases are up in the end of spring. However, once I brought up moving in, she decided to start the whole entire \"future\" conversation, and I honestly do not feel like we are at that point yet.\nI'm only 26 and she is only 25 and I don't think I should have to be thinking about when/if we are going to get married or what we are going to name children, but she says she want to know my \"timeline\". I don't like idea of timeline, I think it is pressuring and pointless, because I do not want to hold myself to any kind of deadline. i want to be able to marry her tomorrow or at 40 years old or never, if that's what I choose, but I feel like she is trying to close off other options.\nHow do I deal with this and let her know that she needs to back off?\nTl;dr: gf want to talk future, I think it's too early.\n", "post_id": "3uvw4x", "comment_id": "cxi7u9t"}, {"question": "Are you in treatment for the anxiety?", "comment": "Hello,\n\n40 year-old female, 5'8\", 130lbs, mixed race.\n\nI've been extra stressed out lately and am afraid of going to sleep. Anxiety's been quite bad, and I get nauseous often and dizzy sometimes. Usually the left side of my chest gets quite tight, especially when I go to bed. \n\nA couple of nights ago my chest was quite tight, and when I lay on my left side it felt like something kinda \"popped\" in my heart. It wasn't painful at all. Then the tightness was gone and my chest hasn't really been tight since. I kept thinking that it felt like a valve popped or something, but that's probably just the feeling and not reality, right?\n\nI still get a little bit of chest pain, but now it feels like it's in the muscles around the heart area as opposed to the heart area itself (I know our hearts don't hurt, but that's the best way to describe it). But the tightness is rather mild now in comparison to what I normally feel, and it kinda feel like my heartbeat's a little \"watery\" (don't know how else to say this).\n\nIt's always best to go to the doctor, but I probably can't for a few more days, so if you have any comments I'd really appreciate it.\n\nThank you in advance!", "post_id": "jq6gy4", "comment_id": "gbkoifg"}, {"question": "If there is a local university- you may see if they have a training clinic. Graduate students training to be therapists ( supervised by licensed therapists) conduct therapy at a low fee or even free.\n\nMay look online to see if there is local community mental health agencies. Some offer free or heavily discounted therapy to low income/uninsured people.\n\nIf all else fails- consider talking to a therapist and explaining your situation. Some will we willing to lower their rates or even do ProBono. \n\nAnd if there are local support groups- you can attend those. These offer some support and some members may be able to offer you local advice.", "comment": "I'm 21 years old, at kind of stuck with my job that doesn't offer insurance...none whatsoever. I live on meets end every month, so I can't save money at all. Every month I have maybe $50 to spare and usually it goes towards something in the end anyway. \n\nI need some kind of professional help...talking to friends no longer works like it used to, and coping with my stress just doesn't do it anymore...What can I do about seeing professional help? ", "post_id": "1ejzt7", "comment_id": "ca0zyi4"}, {"question": "You've waited 4 years too long. Time for an ultimatum.", "comment": "I\u2019ve been in a long term relationship for 5 years and some change. We talk about marriage and he has openly said he wants to marry me. I don\u2019t want to pressure him but my imagination runs wild every time we go somewhere, and I\u2019m like is this it? Then nothing happens I just need advice on keeping my head on while I wait for him to feel ready enough to propose.", "post_id": "71oaul", "comment_id": "dncp5ko"}, {"question": "You can donate to help pay for bail bonds for the protesters that were arrested in Minnesota:  [https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate](https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate)", "comment": "Hit my breaking point with the rampant racist BS in the country, and want to help make a change, big or small.", "post_id": "gs0n0r", "comment_id": "fs3zvkh"}, {"question": "Without a comprehensive diagnostic assessment, it is impossible to say what is motivating this behavior. There are so many unknown factors, from potential recent stressors to potential childhood trauma and everything in between, that would all need to be examined. However, I would encourage your friend to meet with a therapist. While we don\u2019t know why, she is definitely engaging in risky behavior that could have an enormously negative impact on her life. I would express your concern and offer to help her find a local therapist. If other friends or family are also aware of her behavior, you could enlist their help/suggest that they have a similar conversation with her about their concerns and encourage therapy. \n\nGood luck.", "comment": "My oldest friend and i had a few drinks last night and she told me that she started stealing from department stores about 3 months ago. She doesnt need what she steals she does it because she can. She said its not even exciting. I was shocked, she has a good job and alot going for her. Can any therapist shed some light on why she has started doing this? Shes in her 30's! \n\nThanks", "post_id": "c4wf5c", "comment_id": "es707rd"}, {"question": "It might depend on what type of [hernia](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hernia/Pages/Introduction.aspx) it is... ", "comment": "As the title says I (35m) saw a dr recently who diagnosed me with a mild Inguinal hernia after complaining of pain in my lower abdomen for the past month. He told me that I didn't need surgery and to come back should it start feeling worse. He also didn't really give me any limitations in terms of lifting, pulling or pushing other than the standard listen to your body. I realize I'm being a bit paranoid but should I seek a second opinion? I don't know anyone whose had a hernia who didn't need to get surgery. I'm also a bit paranoid because I have a trip outside of the country coming up and it terrifies me to think of something suddenly happening to me in an international country. ", "post_id": "6mnedm", "comment_id": "dk2y93q"}, {"question": "Great task to give yourself.  It definitely helps with fear of rejection because a lot of people no matter how friendly they might be, won't give out cigarettes.  I hate when people ask me.  \n\nMay I offer a suggestion for helping with socialization?  Do the same thing, but don't ask for cigarettes.  Have them and ask people that are smoking and standing around for a light saying you lost your lighter.  If they're just hanging out, outside of a bar, or in a park, or whatever, spark up a conversation while you smoke.  Folks will be much more likely to give you a light and engage you in conversation than if you ask for a cigarette.  ", "comment": "I had the idea to confront myself with my anxieties and just walked out without any purpose. I drove with the bus to our inner city here in L\u00fcnen, Germany, and asked random people for a cigarette (usuallly I don't smoke, it was just a test) as a confrontation therapy to overcome social fear. \n\nAnd I learnt that being denied (only two of 10 people I asked gave me a cigarette), that feeling of someone telling you 'no' is not a great feeling, yes, it is negative but it did not kill me. I registered it as a negative feeling that came and went away after a while. Like all feelings.\n\nNow I have less anxiety talking to strangers or asking something because being denied is not that crucial as I always thought it would be. \n\nWhat I want to tell you: just try to do the things you are afraid of! It will be uncomfortable but you will feel a feeling of success that is great!\n\n​\n\nHave a nice day.", "post_id": "9kp9sn", "comment_id": "e710h7c"}, {"question": "Not my field. In general, case reports need to be taken seriously but with a few grains of salt. They're not solid evidence to make medical decisions with. They're not *no* evidence, and if you have nothing else that's what you use, but they're not the best.\n\nIn this case I'm not sure. Testing for HSV-1 or trying treatment seems like a relatively low-risk option. But doctors are only human and don't like to be caught being ignorant, even of a single case study. They might just be doubling down on an original decision even if it's wrong to avoid admitting that they didn't know.\n\nI don't have the full story, of course. There may be good reason for what they're doing. But there isn't always.", "comment": "My mom is in her early 60s and around 5'2\".  We went to her primary care doctor and an ENT for her symptom of a burning tongue.  Primary care doctor basically said he didn't know how to treat it and prescribed prilosec for acid reflux.  ENT basically said there is no cure and said to try Zantac.  \n\nI came across this case report of a woman around the same age who had very similar symptoms.\nhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4401976/  \nTurns out she had HSV-1.  \n\nWe brought this up to both docs and they refused to test for it.  ", "post_id": "8b2ojn", "comment_id": "dx3ity1"}, {"question": "https://www.musictherapy.org/", "comment": "I came across it and was wondering what it was exactly? Is there singing involved? Does the therapist play the piano or just use youtube? How are songs selected and how much is arbitrary?", "post_id": "gtgbeo", "comment_id": "fsbd0cc"}, {"question": "I started because I was a mess. Originally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and after three years of therapy had worked through significant complex trauma. However, I stopped for six months recently to figure out what I need from therapy. In that time I was diagnosed with ADHD and returned.\n\nWhen I returned things weren't the same. I was used to processing trauma and being vulnerable about my past. Now I needed to be vulnerable about my present which added a whole new level of immediacy. I had a session today where I discussed this and we set some goals and are working towards helping me in the present even if it's scary.\n\nType of therapy: lots. My psych switches between asking me questions in a CBT, ACT, EFT, Schema, Gestalt, and Existential way, amongst others. I know this because I'm in my last year of masters in clinical psychology and about to become registered as a psych myself.\n\nWould I recommend it? Absolutely. To everyone. Not just mental illness. Having someone reflect back what you already know but need to hear said to yourself, is just enlightening and empowering. After seeing my psych I generally feel lighter (if it was a heavy session not so much), and my intrusive thoughts slow down noticeably.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "bme5ta", "comment_id": "emwzyjb"}, {"question": "Personally, I think you should reset it. The question you have to answer is: What negative things about fapping make me want to quit it, and does porn contribute to those negative things too? \n\nAlso, go research the effects that watching porn has - it drops your relationship satisfaction down, your own bodily self-esteem down, etc..", "comment": "So today I couldn\u2019t hold myself and watch porn for about 20 minutes but didn\u2019t fap. I don\u2019t feel that bad really. But now I don\u2019t know if to reset my counter!! \ud83d\ude28 can someone help me please?", "post_id": "bpfu03", "comment_id": "ensms6y"}, {"question": "Snake bites hurt. You would not miss it. There\u2019s no point in checking any more than you would check to see if someone stabbed you while you were out walking in a city.\n\nTherapy can help with intrusive thoughts and anxiety like that as well, but hopefully this is one particular worry you can be reassured against.", "comment": "Age: 21\n\nGender: Female\n\nCountry: Philippines\n\nOther Diagnosis: OCD,  taking lexapro\n\nI was walking in my backyard at night with my dog when a sudden thought occurred to me that what if i got bitten by a snack. I didnt feel intense pain or anything, just mosquito bites and the ants that were biting my feet. I was also walking with a flashlight to check what i am walking on but still the thoughts persist.\n\nIve been checking my feet and scratching them to see any bite marks but all that i do is making wounds on my feet myself.\n\nHow do u check if u have a snake bite, and should i go to the er even when i dont feel anything weird (just my anxiety) or have no puncture wounds at all?\n\nThis is not an emergency.  I am just drowning with a lot of anxiety and intrusive thoughts,  and just need to know about snake bites.", "post_id": "i1tzoi", "comment_id": "fzzul1n"}, {"question": "There is potential\u2014in medicine there is almost nothing that is always or never, including this statement, hence the \"almost\"\u2014but at such a small dose the risk is low. If you take it as needed and aren't needing it every day, multiple times per day, I have relatively low concern.", "comment": "Hi, I'm a male and was prescribed 0,25mg xanax (Pfizer) as needed to treat stress and anxiety but I looked on the internet and medication label says you shouldn't exceed 8 weeks of use. My question is if If I take it for like 6 weeks is there still any risk of withdrawal symptoms or dependence ? \n\nThank you.", "post_id": "c3bfvd", "comment_id": "erpvey2"}, {"question": "wow! that\u2019s amazing and you should be very proud :) Remember that the poison will only mask our feelings of loneliness. I\u2019m lonely all the time and my habit was to drink to oblivion to block that feeling. The next day, this alcoholic would wake up lonely still but also hungover, ashamed, anxious, etc etc. You got this. Take it one second at a time :) This moment, I won\u2019t drink with you ", "comment": "as you can tell by my day count, i'm either new here or have recently relapsed. well, i'm not new here. \n\n​\n\ni've hit a constant relapse faze in my attempt to get sober where i drink just about every 48 hours to deal with loneliness, the people i've pushed away, working two jobs, and being unable to be vulnerable in front of my family, who all live across the country.\n\n​\n\nlast night i poured a drink -- ice in the glass, jim beam and water -- all ready to go.\n\n​\n\nthis thread is the only thing that stopped me. i came here first, read and commented on a few things. then i dumped it down the kitchen sink along with the bottle.\n\n​\n\nthank you all. stay strong this weekend. IWNDWYT.", "post_id": "af7la2", "comment_id": ""}, {"question": "As the other poster said, you should go see a therapist/psychologist. \n    \nThat being said, what you listed does have some in common with Borderline Personality Disorder. Which makes it more imperative that you go see a therapist. ", "comment": "I really want some answers. I've been left in the dark for years. My aunt said the mental diagnosis I had before said I fell under something because of these things bout myself: I binge eat and eat very fast, I get overly attached to girls at first site, I am very defensive, I am very emotional and sensitive in irrational ways half of the time, I have poor self awareness and change my style often. I never had a relationship with my parents, and when I did they were very terrible to me. My mom would insult me and my dad would ignore my calls and texts for days. I always watch dog my phone in hopes of messages and never get off my computer for that same reason. Can anyone give me some idea of what's wrong with me and how I can fix it? I am 16, my grandparents never really taught me many boundaries when I was young.", "post_id": "1wcmjx", "comment_id": "cf0vlux"}, {"question": "she might not be ready for a committed rel.", "comment": "So my girlfriend told me she'd been with another girl a couple of months ago. They had kissed and touched eachother. I just can't shake it off. I feel betrayed but it also doesn't feel \"that bad\". If she would've cheated on me with another guy i would've have felt way worse and probably wouldn't forgive her but now it feels atleast bearable. But i can't stop thinking about it. I forgave her but now it feels worse when i think about them together... I don't know what to do.", "post_id": "5kgpim", "comment_id": "dbnsima"}, {"question": "r/raisedbynarcissists is a good resource too, in case you haven't found it yet", "comment": "Hey everyone.\nI grew up in abuse and one of the things that really fucked me up was the gaslight and manipulation. I'm in a constant fog of fear and confusion, and never really sure if something is real or Im making it up, which have both kept me in abusive scenarios and made me leave good ones. I cant tell safe people from dangerous people.\n\nIm interested in if anyone else here grew up with the same - and if you got therapy, what kind will help?", "post_id": "891vlk", "comment_id": "dwor5fe"}, {"question": "I can only answer very generally here as I practice in the US and am not very familiar with Australia's healthcare system.  \n\nWhat I'm going to say is how things work in the US that I imagine are fairly similar.  Inpatient Hospitalization is usually covered by your health insurance.  On your health insurance card or paperwork there should be a website or number where you can get info regarding hospitals or providers in your area.  \n\nWithout insurance, hospital stays can be very expensive (thousands of dollars a day) (though generally everything medical in the US is ridiculously expensive).    \n\nIf you feel like you're at the end of your rope, feel you need hospitalization and can't figure out what to do, call whatever your country's emergency number is and discuss the issue with them.  They should be able to help you out.  \n\nIf not, but you're experiencing some mental health issues, consider seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist which your general practitioner should be able to refer you to if you don't know of any.  At that point, they should be able to get you connected to a hospital fairly easily if that's what you need.  \n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "I really feel like the best thing for me right now would be to be put in a hospital or some kind of facility. I have no idea how to go about finding one, are there any websites or something i could look on? Do they cost a lot of money? Also some basic information on it would be very helpful.\n\nI live in Australia, if that helps anything.", "post_id": "7xxzce", "comment_id": "duc5q37"}, {"question": "Doubled doses are both within the therapeutic range of those drugs\u2014they\u2019re doses that some people are on intentionally. Nothing serious is likely to happen.", "comment": "I (18F) 135 pounds. 5\u20193. have the 24 hour release of Wellbutrin and I take prozac at the same time, I take them in the morning which I did today. But now it\u2019s 10pm and I don\u2019t know why I took them but it was an accident. \n\nShould I make myself throw up? \n\nalong with the antidepressants I also take a multivitamin and fexofenadin (allegra) which I also took with the anti depressants right now. It was impulsive and I didn\u2019t realize I did it after 3 minutes.", "post_id": "fe7mu4", "comment_id": "fjmc4xf"}, {"question": "Yes. Often , a parent can be brought into the session at the beginning or end,  but therapy needs to be a safe place where the child does not have to worry about the reactions of adults . Even excellent parents have reactions,  and kids pick up on that easily. \n\nWhat , specifically,  are your concerns?", "comment": "Is it normal for a therapist to be alone with a 6 year old?", "post_id": "ffxgtb", "comment_id": "fk1541i"}, {"question": "I'm saving this because I need to remind myself I need to do this ", "comment": "From my experiences with C-PTSD, wanted to share here.\n\nWhen we receive a shame message that is too painful to experience, our bodies and minds often come up with ways to **numb or distract us**. The problem is, these makeshift solutions don't fix the inner problem. They actually exacerbate the sense of defectiveness and separation from others.\n\nEmptiness is a common numbing agent, as is boredom. These things convince you to **do something** to relieve the numbness (like change your job, modify your hair, get a tattoo, drive recklessly, binge drink, binge eat, go on a shopping spree, change your relationship, etc - for me it was all about accomplishing stuff). The distractor convinces you that once you do it, you'll feel all better. And maybe you do... for an hour. \n\nBasically, these things ensure that you stay endlessly distracted and search **externally** for solutions to an **internal** issues. \n\nGrandiosity and fantasizing are another part of this. As long as we have these huge ideas of a perfect relationship to save us and cure us, we're 100% distracted from our own inner experience. We're just living in this puffed-up false self that is constantly **hungering for external attention or sympathy to prove its own existence**. \n\nWhen I decided to stop listening to this \"distractor\" in myself, everything shifted. It wasn't easy at first. It fought and threw every trick in the book at me to stay in control - like a demon realizing it had been caught. But I just kept politely declining it and saying: \"I don't need to **do anything** to feel loved\".\n\nI noticed this distractor came up especially during emotional triggers - being ignored was a big one for me. So instead of desperately trying to distract myself whenever those things came up, I just decided to stay with the feeling. And it was horrible. Like incredibly unpleasant, disgusting, painful - this **sense of defectiveness**, of being unwanted and rejectable and inadequate.\n\nNo wonder my body and mind were trying to numb that out! \n\nBut I just stayed with it, over and over again, offering it comfort and love (the same way I would to a wounded animal). With time, that old false self completely crumbled. It gave up. There was no more grandiosity or fantasy land. No more terrible decisions. No more obsessions. \n\nInstead I started identifying as the person nurturing that wound (also me). \n\nIt was like I'd been knocked down a peg and inhabited my true self - my real identity. **It didn't feel good at all.** It wasn't some sort of beautiful reunion. My true self was damaged, weak, insecure, and afraid. I was depressed and suffered from insomnia. Without my distractions, everything started to slow down significantly. \n\nSlowing down means leaving behind the old protective tricks. *Not* trying to prove we're fine and beautiful and successful. *Not* trying to morph ourselves into a perfect mirror image partner so someone else will love us and never abandon us. *Not* trying to fill the void with grandiose fantasies, being rescued / saved by a perfect partner, or seeking sympathy for our tragic victim narrative. \n\nWith personality disorders, I often see mindfulness / meditation approached in a way like \"I'm thinking of kittens and rainbows, healing and processing my past, loving my inner child, it's all so beautiful, I'm crying!\" But then this horrible feeling starts creeping in and the sufferer thinks: \"WTF I was doing mindfulness, why am I feeling WORSE.\" \n\nBecause what's inside is NOT kittens and rainbows. It's this disgusting, unbearable sense of being bad. **The feeling you experience when someone rejects you or leaves you or starts ignoring your texts**. THAT feeling is what you need to non-judgmentally experience in mindfulness. It's a lie someone else put in there a long time ago, because they hated themselves, not because there was something wrong with you.\n\nI believe all the neurosis from C-PTSD based issues come from trying to **avoid** that feeling, rather than stay with it. \n\nDaily mindfulness practice can help the sufferer identify \"this is real but not true\". And as you build a loving relationship with your self (not just the \"good\" feelings, but the bad ones too), the body will feel safe expressing its worst fear to you, so it can finally be resolved. ", "post_id": "65jjim", "comment_id": "dgasdqk"}, {"question": "I think there's a huge link. For me my symptoms are a lot better when I'm happy and calm. :)", "comment": "I read that there is a soft link between anxiety and PCOS. I think that it's more then a soft link, I think there is a serious connection. I'm not talking about being anxious to go out or whatever I'm talking about straight up crippling anxiety. Any other PCOS struggle with anxiety from time to time?", "post_id": "46c09o", "comment_id": "d043d7w"}, {"question": "I think so. And I do", "comment": "Is she good? Do you recommend her to your Patients?", "post_id": "bq9704", "comment_id": "eo3gegn"}, {"question": "You and your wife should also do some basic research on the blending of families. Step-parenting dynamics can be tricky. Honestly there is tons of good research out there that's helpful. It can take step-families 4-9 YEARS to fully adjust and to start feeling \"normal.\" And It certainly happens in stages. It sounds like they went through the first stage of enmeshment and that your wife is now going through individuation (next is differentiation). \nCounseling is a great idea but only if she's open to it. Maybe try and find a way to tell her that there are always going to be bad therapists that ruin people's experience or maybe that therapist just wasn't a good fit for her. If you had a bad experience with a Dr you wouldn't refuse to go to a Dr ever again, you'd find a new one. Anyway, good luck! Just be kind to each other, work as a team and realize that you both have gone through a lot in a short amount of time. \n\nSources: I'm a step-mom and am almost done with my Masters degree to be a therapist. ", "comment": "I was recently divorced with 3 kids (all girls) when I met a woman of my dreams.  Not only was she smart/fun/independent, but she was also an exceptional role model for my girls.  Their birth mother shares 50% custody with me but is horrible, typically yielding 25% of her time over to me \u2013 and spending more time on going to bars pretending she is 21 again.\n\nAfter a year of dating, we decided to get married.  My daughters (3) and her daughter all got along very well.  We had been living in her house, but it felt cramped, so we bought a new one in my name (since she still held a mortgage on her old house).  At the time we had 2 incomes of roughly the same amount.\n\nThe day we got back from our honeymoon, my wife\u2019s ex sent her an email asking for more parenting time with their daughter (my now step child).  Essentially he had only exercised monthly visits for 8 years but didn\u2019t like me being a \u201cfather figure\u201d so he took my wife to court to seek more time.  Essentially this now includes splitting holiday time as well as a substantial portion of the summer break she spends with him (he lives out of state).  Logistically we got this to match the same parenting time I already have to give to my ex, so \u201cour girls\u201d are all gone for the same holiday schedule.\n\nAbout 2 months after we were married, my wife lost her job.  We still retained the mortgage she held.  We hired a relator who turned up dry but 6 months after that we found people who were willing to rent to buy.\n\nMy wife gets about 1/6 of her income from child support.  She initially stated she wanted to save 100% of this money as \u201cbonus money\u201d for her daughter when she came of age.  At the time, since we both were equally contributing to expenses this seemed fair enough to me.  Since losing her job, my salary has gone towards paying 2 mortgages as well as any household expenses.   She never once willingly offered her child support money to help cover bills.\n\nAfter losing her job, she spent 3 months thinking about what she wanted to do next.  Eventually she decided to start a business with her sister & niece.  A month after they started she realized the sister/niece combo was ganging up on her on pretty much all business decisions \u2013 so she told them she wanted out.  Her sister/niece allowed her to exit the company they started, but retained working rights.  My wife then started the company up with me (using my IT skills to quickly create a website for the business).  We are now direct competitors with her sister and niece.  Their relationship has suffered and they no longer speak (they were speaking at least once a day).  My kids are no longer allowed to associate to their aunt, whom they had loved (they do think their aunt was nasty so it doesn\u2019t really hurt them to realize this).\n\nDuring the legal issues with her ex, my wife started to become depressed.  I constantly told her that I was by her 100% of the way.  I also supported her taking her time to start a business, first with her sister & niece\u2026 and then when that fell through I offered to help her.  Keeping in mind that I already work a full time job, so I was taking on a 50% founders role in a new company.\n\nMy wife continues to be depressed.  After the legal issues with her ex, she often would complain about my work on our shared company \u2013 that my tasks were taking too long to complete (I was working for our company along with my full time job, she was only working for our company).  Eventually the strain of expenses from having 2 mortgages and starting a company began to take a strain \u2013 I finally talked her into using her child support to help with the monthly bills. \n \nShe also has developed some jealousy towards my girls, where she becomes upset if they discuss any event that occurred prior to her involvement.  She honestly thinks they are deliberately trying to make her feel uncomfortable by \u201cliving in the past\u201d.  Meanwhile, my wife and her daughter take constant trips down memory lane and relive stories.\n\nPresent day, my wife is now claiming that she doesn\u2019t feel like I love her \u2013 and that I don\u2019t put her first.  Her jealousy towards my daughters is starting to become unchecked to where she is openly hostile to me about them (she is still very nice \u201cto their face\u201d).  \n\nMy feelings are that she is often a hypocrite towards how she wants me to treat my daughters compared to how she treats hers.  I also feel like I\u2019ve sacrificed a very large amount of my life for her (standing with her through legal issues, starting a business with her \u2013 for her).  So typically I get resentful when she claims I haven\u2019t shown I love her.\n\nI\u2019ve not disclosed this information to any of my friends, for fear of them acting strange towards my wife later.  At this point I\u2019m just looking for some type of feedback as I feel entirely too close to the situation.  Does this relationship seem toxic to you?  Does it appear like I\u2019m overreacting here?  I\u2019d love to hear any type of feedback \u2013 please state opinions!\n\nThank you!\n\nEdit: Since most of the comments thus far mention this, I should say she doesn't like the idea of counseling (I've tried to talk her into this several times). After her divorce she went to a counselor that apparently wasn't all that great in her opinion - so her belief in them offering anything helpful is very low\n\nEdit 2: One example of where she thinks I put the kids above her, is as follows.  I have 13 years worth of pictures of my oldest daughter, but only of them involve my current wife.  The older ones are with my ex and my wife really hates seeing them.  I have removed copies of them from the house, but keep a drive at work.  Part of me dislikes that my kids are denied seeing childhood pictures (I have fond memories of looking at the photo albums as a kid).  Prior to my marriage my kids would love to sit with me at the computer and look at old photos.  Anyway - with my 13 year old, I decided to start culling out some of my more favorite pics of her and sending them to her on #ThrowbackThursday.  She loved it.  One of the challenges of having a teenager is keeping connected to them (I feel).  My wife saw the pictures on the phone and literally flipped out.  Apparently the last one I had sent my daughter was 6 and smiling as she was making a mothers day card (not obvious from the pic unless you look very close at it - which she did, I didn't).  The end result is that she has requested I no longer do the #TT thing - which I stopped about 2 weeks ago now.  I understand how the pictures make her feel - but I also think that I was trying to do this without shoving it in her face -  her it looked like I was being secretive... \n\n*sigh* I literally am getting to the end of my rope here.\n", "post_id": "2neu40", "comment_id": "cmddao2"}, {"question": "Those close to you can bring great joy and pain as you know. Are you looking just to share or would you like advice on something?", "comment": "Ever since that day my life has changed. I was one of the few who stood by him and he figured I could take it. Its been 6 years and im still barely hanging on. I want to kill myself cause the pain is too much not having him here. But my nieces and nephews and friends smiles keep me from doing it. I cant bring it upon myself to put them thru what ive been suffering from. Suicide is a permanent solution to lifes bullshit problems. \n\nEdit: FUCK REDDIT AND THEIR LACK OF EDIT FOR TITLES, himself***", "post_id": "b1xjkc", "comment_id": "eioykbv"}, {"question": "After 18 months in AA I did the 5th step with a guy and he recommended that I see a psychotherapist. He told me I needed professional help. The therapist I met with was really good, she referred me to career counseling and they gave me a test that helped me choose a subject to study. I studied electrical engineering and had a 24 year career in electronics. During that time I got married and had kids. All the while attending AA and helping other guys get sober. It\u2019s been a rare week that I don\u2019t make at least 2 or 3 meetings. I\u2019ve been sober 41 years now and I attribute my sobriety to AA and taking care of myself, going to college and finding love.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "genkxm", "comment_id": "fpq9mag"}, {"question": "Yeah, I can totally see that from an evolutionary standpoint PCOS basically means that for one reason or another, we (or the woman, or the patient, etc.) aren't \"meant\" to reproduce. This is not just the \"200 years ago\" argument, but it also reflects the fact that our bodies are [b]stressed[/b] in a way such that our reproductive function has been compromised... so if we are *this* stressed, maybe we aren't going to be as well-equipped to successfully raise healthy children. ... deal with the stress first, and then reproduce. That's partly why I'm looking into therapy and yoga and stuff :)", "comment": "I was reading that link that is stickied about why women with PCOS have anxiety. And I noticed this part:\n\n\"For the study, published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers exposed pregnant rats and their fetuses to testosterone, which mimics the effects of PCOS in humans. As the researchers expected, these rats' offspring showed more anxious behavior \u2014 they were more reluctant to venture into the unprotected open arms of a maze \u2014 than those rats that hadn't gotten the testosterone treatment.\"\n\nOnly one comment mentions the testosterone exposure causing anxiety in the *offspring*. Everyone else just talked about their own issues with anxiety and depression. I don't want the excess androgens in my body to negatively impact a child. And then there was the study about autism. These hormones can make people anxious and unstable, so it's obviously not ideal to have a baby swishing around in there for 9 months.\n\nIt just doesn't seem worth it to me to possibly expose a fetus to hormones that might mess them up. If I have a daughter, she may very well have PCOS. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. \n\nI just feel really weird about the whole pregnancy thing. I keep reading about fertility treatments, Clomid, IVF. It seems so weird to force our bodies to reproduce. If I'm at a point where androgens are preventing me from ovulating or being fertile naturally, I don't think I should ignore that. My body is obviously saying something is going on that means I should not be someone's choice for birthing their children or carrying a fetus. Like maybe, just maybe, this is not a good body to carry a baby!\n\nAnd then I think about, what if I lived in some more primitive or less advanced time, and all of my symptoms were obvious and untreatable. I'm covered in hair, have a beard, and am balding. My body is unfeminine. I am sending all kinds of signals to the opposite sex that I am not fertile, not attractive (it's tough--but I don't think anyone naturally favors a beard on a woman), and not healthy. If my body is sending these very obvious signals that I am not a healthy, fertile woman, maybe it's for a good reason. Maybe I shouldn't be procreating and continuing this.\n\nI really feel alone in thinking this. It seems like everyone does whatever it takes to get pregnant. I've just been feeling so weird about it all. Like humans seek out healthy, fertile humans to make babies with. PCOS is not that. I know some people have very mild, weak PCOS, and I think that's really different from being visually masculinized and anovulatory. If you have a few hairs here and there but still ovulate, I guess it's really different. ", "post_id": "3wyghm", "comment_id": "cy0h2r6"}, {"question": "I worked for 2.5 years in a place like that.  I kept sane by telling myself that it would be over someday, and low and behold, it is over.\n\nSometimes you just have to dive head first into something miserable and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.", "comment": "So, I need 20 hours of community service to get into this really nice school. I had to choose between helping baby birds or volunteering at a nursing home. I chose the nursing home, but I truly regret that decision.\n\nFor starters, the people who work their are very gruff and rude. There are a few diamonds in the rough, but the jerks are far more common. Next off, it's a huge place, and we don't have maps. I've gotten lost more times than I can count, and I usually get scolded for it. \n\nSome of the residents are very rude. I understand that many of them have mental issues, but I just can't take it. One of them had to use the restroom. This was my first day, so I had to ask for directions. I was directed to the nurses station and told they'd handle it from there. As I'm taking her there and explaining what I'm doing, she snaps. She starts shouting at me and calling me names. I just continued and wheeled her to the station, but I had to fight back tears.\n\nIt's very hot in there, and the fact that we can't sit down and are constantly moving doesn't help.\n\nThere's also the fact that we have to talk to the residents. I push through it and try to be as relaxed and kind as I can, but inside I'm freaking out.\n\nI can't quit. I need the 20 hours, and the bird thing is already over with. Do you guys have any advice?", "post_id": "w0gzf", "comment_id": "c596b2d"}, {"question": "That's a totally rational fear, especially if you're in a small town.  /u/mucked gave good advice.  I'll add that you should keep in mind that there's nothing requiring you to speak at meetings; you can go, observe, get the lay of the land, and make your decisions as far as self-disclosure once you have a feel for your group(s).  As you progress in your sobriety, and if/as AA clicks for you, you may find yourself more comfortable with people knowing about your recovery.  But the entire issue of disclosure is totally up to you.", "comment": "Nervous to go to a meeting. I know its anonymous, but the idea of someone talking to another about me scares me. Advice or Experiences? ", "post_id": "22v7ao", "comment_id": "cgqpyg0"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve seen a lot of posts like this and it makes me grateful that those comments don\u2019t get to me. I think it\u2019s because I\u2019ve changed my perspective on my adhd from a negative to a positive. \n\nThe way it was presented to me as a kid (now to be clear parents lied and didn\u2019t tell me I had adhd/didn\u2019t believe in it until I was about 22), was that I thought different from other people. That whole most people\u2019s brains connect in straight lines, mine connects in zig zags, and I internalized that as being special. \n\nNow my symptoms were hell growing up bc again, I didn\u2019t know what they were and it was treated  as a personal failure (high IQ= if I had really tried the result would have been better). And then I almost felt like I was cheating when I got on medication at 22 because I felt like the meds gave me an advantage (not realizing it just leveled the playing field).  But I still felt like the non-attentional/impulsive/hyperactive aspects of adhd made me somehow MORE than my peers because my brain worked differently than there\u2019s did (problem solving, creativity, etc).  \n\nFor me it\u2019s like.... okay so I suffer from migraines, but I don\u2019t tell people who just have regular headaches that they\u2019re lucky/I have a legit medical issue/they calling their headache a migraine makes a mockery of my experience. They\u2019re difficulty paying attention or whatever is a speed bump versus my mountain, but they still have a hard time dealing with their speed bump. \n\nI don\u2019t know, that\u2019s just how I stay sane in this world of \u201cif you really tried you could do it.\u201d  ", "comment": "So many people do this all the time and it makes me so mad.\n\nIt just makes me kind of feel that no one really thinks it\u2019s a big deal, and makes me feel stupid for sometimes trying to explain that ADHD is the reason things I sometimes can\u2019t get my work done or am late to things, ect.\n\nIt seems that since people without ADHD always tend to attribute something like not being able to pay attention in a boring lecture to \u201chaving a little bit of ADHD\u201d it completely delegitimizes the disorder as a whole because apparently \u201ceveryone has a little ADHD\u201d \n\nAnd if i try to explain it to someone they tend to think that im just making excuses for being lazy because they think they already know everything about ADHD or something. \n\nTL:DR\n\nPeople tend to say things like \u201ci think we all have a little ADHD\u201d and it really pisses me off and it seems to make those who really have it look stupid and lazy.", "post_id": "84lj4b", "comment_id": "dvr0d7j"}, {"question": "Don't worry about it too much. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 21, and I turned out ok :) Lots of people don't date when they are teenagers. So if she asks, you can just say that you've never dated and it shouldn't be that big of a deal.", "comment": "I have one friend who is very open about her past relationships and she talks at me about them a lot. I am petrified that she will one day ask me about my experiences of which I have none. So I just say yeah and uh huh and nod and never really contribute to these conversations. Perhaps she just knows I have no romantic history whatsoever?", "post_id": "1efhca", "comment_id": "ca02akz"}, {"question": "So, \"criterion A\" for a diagnosis of PTSD in the DSM is pretty strict: either direct or indirect exposure to death or threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence. (Note that this does not mean you don't meet diagnostic criteria for anything; I am not willing or able to diagnose via internet post. This is not a diagnosis or medical/psychological advice.)\n\nHowever, that does not mean that this incident did not affect you; it definitely sounds like it did, and it sounds like you could use some help, especially given the duration of these symptoms. Are you open to calling a therapist and scheduling a first appointment?", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fe4ki9", "comment_id": "fjlzofn"}, {"question": "[Eating disorders - info](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/eatingdisorderskeyfacts.aspx)", "comment": "Hi,\nI'm a 17 years old girl. I've been dealing with eating disorders since I was 12. At first, it was just disordered eating until it became a disorder. Its mostly bulimia, but also anorexia. I want to learn how to love myself and live but there's this nagging at the back of my mind everyday, \" you're not good enough \". I'm triggered all the time and it's really hard not to go back down this path. Now i'm 5'9 and i weigh 163lbs and I'm recovering. I want to lose weight but i dont want to . I dont know how to explain it... I dont know what to do anymore. Sometimes, i really want to give in.\nDo you have any advice ? What should I do ?", "post_id": "55dlbl", "comment_id": "d89r7zb"}, {"question": "A CT scan is not perfect, which is why we also use MRIs (which are also not perfect, but have a different set of advantages and disadvantages). But one thing CTs are very good at is detecting tumors. It's never impossible for the CT, or more likely the radiologist, to miss something small. But it's unlikely.\n\nThat doesn't mean nothing is wrong, which is why the MRI might help. The chance that it is a space-occupying lesion is minimal.", "comment": "Age: 37\n\nSex: F\n\nHeight: 5'7\"\n\nWeight: 155 Lbs\n\nRace: White\n\nDuration of complaint: Few weeks, maybe more\n\nLocation (Geographic and on body): Head\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): None\n\nCurrent medications (if any): None\n\nFirst off, I know that I sound a bit crazy. The logical part of my brain reminds me of this, but the emotional side seems to take over at this point. Here is my story. About 3ish weeks ago I was driving to my son's swim lessons and I had two blurry spots in both my eyes. It was the beginning of spring, and I assumed that I just wasn't used to the sun as I forgot my sunglasses. While I was at swimming lessons, I was trying to do a Google search on my phone, and I was unable to complete the search even though I felt like I knew what I was searching for. I decided at that point that I needed to call my husband to come get me because I was nervous about driving with my children in the car. When I called him, I wasn't able to communicate with him other than \"you need to come get me\", but when he asked questions as to why or where I was, I wasn't able to find the words to answer him. I also had numbness in my left hand and face and just generally felt like I was floating even though I was aware of what was going on around me. I think the episode lasted maybe all of 5 minutes (maybe less). Afterwards, we went to the ER where they did blood tests, a CT scan without contrast, and an EKG. Everything came back fine, and I was released and saw the recommended neurologist a week and a half later. He did an assessment and said that the issue was most likely either stress or a silent migraine, but he wanted me to get an MRI just to rule everything out. He said he doesn't expect the MRI to find anything at all, and I will probably not have to come back and see him again, but he just wants to double check. At this point I was fine, and I schedule an MRI later this week when I was already off work. Now, a few days ago I had another attack, but I did not loose my ability to use language, but I had the numbness and floating feeling. I also feel like I keep tripping up on my words now (I will fully admit that it could just be because I am anxious now). Now, I am starting to freak out about the results of my MRI, and I am terrified that they are going to find something that the CT scan missed (if that is even possible). I am not sure how to end this because I am no even sure what I am even trying to get out of posting this as I know I sound very crazy, and I probably am a bit. Full disclosure, both of my parents died very young of weird and random cancers, so I am also probably experiencing some residual unresolved feelings from that. Thanks for reading and any words of wisdom!", "post_id": "be8j16", "comment_id": "el3s92s"}, {"question": "he's either immature or it's a personality trait. ask him what the best way is to give him constructive criticism", "comment": "Throwaway because peeps we know use Reddit.\nMy boyfriend of just over a year and I have been getting into fights a bit more frequently lately, usually because of his behaviour and my reactions to it, and coping with this is proving a bit difficult. We're both very stressed at the moment because of job difficulties, and both acknowledge that this is probably making things a lot worse than they actually are. We both love each other dearly and want to make this work- hence why I'm looking for some advice.\n\nOur problems usually stem from the same two issues: him not thinking before speaking or acting, and his words/actions then triggering my anxiety/depression/general issues stemming from childhood. For example, last night he was over 40mins late home from work and didn't text me to explain why this was (totally innocent, he was giving someone a lift), and I panicked and got upset. I thought he might be dead, because anxiety. Today, he jokingly asked me which one of my kid siblings I preferred, because all parents/parental figures have a favourite, and semi-jokingly but semi-not said I was lying when I said neither and that I love them equally. In both of these situations, I explained why I'd become upset, and suggested that he maybe think things through before talking/acting. Equally, I've recognised that I need to stop overreacting to things.\n\nThe problem is, my BF has never ever been able to take any kind of criticism well. He is of the opinion that criticising people should never be done because it's only harmful, and I definitely get that. But I now feel like I can't express when I'm unhappy with his behaviour or with anything in the relationship, because it just gets the response of \"I feel like you're criticising me too much\". I don't know how to express worries or hurt without him taking it as criticism and getting upset himself. Sometimes, his behaviour is the problem and I feel like I should express that so that he can modify his behaviour and grow as a person, which is how I'd like him to deal with anything negative that I do as well. But he just can't accept criticism of any form. It's not even like he thinks he's perfect and has no flaws- he's said to me that he knows he does. He just doesn't seem to like them being pointed out, or want to do anything about them.\n\nDoes anyone know how I can approach this tactfully and without upsetting him more? I know that nobody likes receiving criticism, but I feel like it is necessary sometimes!!", "post_id": "6u9t4r", "comment_id": "dlr34gg"}, {"question": "She should process this with a therapist before making a big decision", "comment": "First time coming here guys so bare with me. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over 2 years now, and we have had many discussions about what isn't working during different periods of the relationship. I have only had one long term relationship that went from age 16-19. With others only lasting months or so after that. And she hasn't had anything longer than our current one now. \n\nSome things mentioned in the recent past were I do not know how to convey how i'm feeling/ tell her about my emotions. Also that I do not really seem motivated unless i'm pressured from her or from school/work. And i have conveyed to her that she makes it difficult to convey those things because she either gets impatient with my response or tries to fix it for me. We have worked through those discussions with some resolution before.  In the past I've told her I'm willing to work through it however we can, but this time feels different.\n \nA recurring theme that she has conveyed in these talks is that she feels that we are \"on different wavelengths\". Meaning she feels that we are not headed in the same direction. We had a similar talk last night, this was after i asked if she was happy in our relationship and she said no.... \n\nWe talked for awhile and she mentioned she isn't challenged enough in the relationship. She doesn't feel that we are both growing together, but rather growing respectively on our own. We have talked about our plans together in the future and were even planning on going to school together in the next year. We have even talked about creating a family together. \n\nI talked to her this morning and she talked about how she feels there are two relationships we have. One that is very loving, and we get along well and are a great team. And the other is this underlying feeling that we won't work out, and we are kidding ourselves, and that we love each other in ways that anyone could. We have talked about couples therapy, but haven't gotten around to going just yet.\n\nI can clarify with more specifics or any background info that I have. And if something isn't explained well enough I can do my best to explain.\n   ---   \n  **tl;dr**: Me and my girlfriend have been in what feels like a loving and supportive relationship for 2 years. But as of recently she feels we are on different pages, and is unsure if we both truly love each other. People with long term relationship experience, have you experienced anything of the sort? Or does anyone have suggestions on what actions to take? ", "post_id": "67ihms", "comment_id": "dgqqzqd"}, {"question": "Make that call. It'll be one of the best decisions you'll ever make!", "comment": "Today marks my seventh day of sobriety:) I've been hitting meetings every day and taking home a lot of wisdom from them. Plus, they are fun. I mostly do women's meetings (because I am a female person). There is a particular woman I met that I feel I have a lot in common with and I really admire her. She has a lot of sobriety. I got her number in the last meeting and I want to call her and ask if she'll sponsor me. Ack! I'm nervous. ", "post_id": "1pp5o8", "comment_id": "cd4kcwg"}, {"question": "[I just posted about something very similar in another sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/7b56jl/i_lose_control_when_i_feel_physically/)", "comment": "ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY", "post_id": "7b5kig", "comment_id": "dph0f8s"}, {"question": "always best to try to maximize/improve the status quo before moving on. see a couples therapist.", "comment": "I messed up big time and now I feel so lost. \n\nI've been with my husband for a long time. On the surface we have a life most are jealous of. We have EVERYTHING in common and we never fight. We are bestfriends. The problem is there is no spark. I'm not interested in him in a sexual way anymore. \n\nWe separated sold the house and were on their way to divorce. \nI fell in love with another man. He is a sweetheart who would do anything for me. He put up with all the craziness of what was going on with my life. We have absolutely nothing in common but the spark is amazing. I've never experienced such a sexual connection with anyone before. \nWhen it came down to the wire I couldn't give up my bestfriend and husband. We had too much history and he was such a big part of my life. \n\nI thought if I tried harder eventually things would fall back in place. My husband has been amazing to me since we got back together. He's been so great to me. Still no spark though and now sex is even more disappointing now that I've experienced what I did. I tried spicing things up but it hasn't worked. \n\nI love both men and I feel so lost. Do I stay with my husband who is my bestfriend and that I have this amazing life with a bad sex life or do I give everything up for a guy who I have nothing in common with but the chemistry and spark is like nothing I've ever felt?", "post_id": "5w3jql", "comment_id": "de74fgk"}, {"question": "Do you believe that the alcohol is causing the mental health problems or did they exist before he struggled with drink?", "comment": "My father is a severe alcoholic with un-diagnosed mental issues. He suffers from delusions, anger, mood swings, and more. I'm not a doctor, and know nothing about mental health really besides some anxiety and depression that I suffer from myself. He will not get help, and he is losing his mind and it is killing my mother. He stays up all night drinking and talking to some fake catfish girl online while my mother can't sleep and shes in her 60s and works a full time job. He just drinks all night and goes to bed at 8 in the morning, then sleeps all day. Who can my mom call? She is having a very hard time with this and I don't know what to tell her. She goes back and forth because she's worried he'll die in the hospital and that he's too far gone for help, but also says she can't deal with this anymore. ", "post_id": "5zj4qk", "comment_id": "deys5ci"}, {"question": "if you have no reason not to trust, than it's a self esteem issue which might benefit from therapy. trust is a combination of reading reality correctly, and inner self confidence", "comment": "I like the idea of trusting my SO. They are really nice, and sweet and love me some fair amount. But other people have had those same traits and have cheated on me anyways. My current SO is pretty understanding about that and we are working on trust. but i feel like im never making any progress. AND! I feel like im just taxing them whenever i bring up my trust issues. I keep telling myself  \"Nothing about you(OP) is special, the only differance between you and anyone else is that your broken, and cant trust and consistently put pressure on your SO to 'Prove themselves' to you\" and \"why are they still with you if they know you dont trust them?\" and my least favorite of all \"normal people know how to deal with this. they talk it out, or just dont bring it up cus they never feel worthless and have a basic level of trust/respect for there SO. It only makes sense for SO to find someone like that. At least then they would be happy\" Again, i know that they love me and seem happy to be with me, but that doesnt stop my brain from spiraling into those thoughts. \n\nTruly, any advice at all would be helpful. or just hearing similar experiences would be nice? were you able to work on it? how? \n\nIt would also be nice to hear from people in normal relationships to find out what the secret is? or does trusting your SO just come naturally to you? ", "post_id": "66jgl7", "comment_id": "dgj3d45"}, {"question": "* Self-help workbook: [Sex, Drugs, Gambling & Chocolate: A Workbook for Overcoming Addictions](http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Drugs-Gambling-Chocolate-Overcoming/dp/1886230552)\n\n* As bleepity said, check out GA.  Or NA (Narcotics Anonymous - they'll accept you) if you can't find a GA meeting you like.  If you don't like a meeting, try another one.  If you don't like another one, try another still.  Keep going back.\n\n* Treatment is extremely effective; what state do you live in?\n\n* /r/problemgambling may be of support as well.", "comment": "Okay guys, I don't even know where to start... I put on a masque of success and happiness to those who don't know me, and wear my shame like its fashion week around those I care about, and now even I don't want to be around myself.  I am addicted to gambling, and because of my affliction, I have failed in paying my rent for the past several months to my parents.  My dad has stopped talking to me because I stole money from him for my gambling addiction (roughly 500 over the past 3 years) and have leaned on my mom to save my ass by paying my rent for me the past few months.  All i can say is I feel pretty worthless, and like I let my entire family down.  My granfather loaned me $7000 to start my own company, I used most of the money for a new computer editing system and a new camera for production, but I pretty much embezzled the rest of the funds (around $1500) to feed my gambling addiction.\n\nI have been living off of a few pieces of bread and 1 can of tuna per day for the past week, I tell my friends that I am hungry and that I will do work for food, but nobody really believes me, or understands how hungry I am.  I have a collections agency after me for $4000 because my school charged me for a term of tuition that I did not attend, and all this is so unbelievably overwhelming that I can't handle it.  I feel like I let down my friends, and my family.  I have betrayed everyone that means the most to me, and I have betrayed myself.  I want help, but this gambling problem is uncontrollable, I don't know what to do.  I just gambled away the last of my money that I was supposed to use on rent for this month, and now I know that I will lose all of my support.  I am going to be completely homeless in about a week and nobody in my life understands how desperate my situation is.\n\nI am at a point where suicide doesn't even sound that bad, I would rather painfully die and bleed out till I go unconscious and don't wake up than face tomorrow.  As strong as I have tried to be, and as much as I have tried to help myself and convince myself that I am better than this, I still feel that in a way, this is something that was meant to happen to me and I am supposed to be that guy who off's himself in his mid-twenties.  I feel like a loser posting here, but I really don't feel like I have anyone to talk to.  Nobody I know wants to hear it anymore, they are tired of my shit, and so am I.  I don't know what I am even looking for here, my words are as empty as I feel, I don't know what to do...\n\nIf anybody even cares to read this entire thing, just.. help me find a good gambling problem resource?  A good self help book?  I feel like I am open for anything, but at the same time I know I my intention with things of that nature is about as truthful as anything I talk about.  Fuck I dunno why I bother you with this shit guys.  I just feel desperate I guess.  And kind of need to be convinced that I can get past this, because every time I try I fail, and I have become empty, and just don't really see the point in going on.", "post_id": "1baoc5", "comment_id": "c9587wk"}, {"question": "Discharge papers are imperfect, particularly when they're auto-generated and no one has likely updated to include coronavirus testing.\n\nCalling only for positive results is standard from the ED; the volume is such that they cannot call with all negative results.\n\nThis all sounds like normal procedure to me.", "comment": "39M/175lb/5' 10\"/no medications/nonsmoker/no prev. cond.: no\n\nI went to the ER with COVID-19 symptoms on day 4. (Fever, shortness of breath, tightness in chest, coughing fits, lightheadedness, chills and sweats at night, high heart-rate) My state is low on tests. The nurses and doctors cleared all doubt of flu, pneumonia and the other usual suspects with my vitals, physical exam (stethoscope, etc), chest x-ray, and lots of bloodwork. They were still resistant to giving me a test. I made my case and the Doctor said \"If you feel strongly...\" I said I did, and she replied, \"OK, then\" and left. A little later, the nurse came back with a swab and in theory did the test. They said that I would only get a call for results, however, if I was positive. Further, my discharge papers have nothing about a corona virus test being performed or awaiting results. They also said it would take up to seven days to get any results, but prior to my visit, when I asked the ER on the phone how long it takes, they said 3-4 days. I'm thinking they were gaslighting me to get me out of the ER without a fight.\n\nCan the ER tell you they are doing a test, even pretend they're taking the sample, and then not have it done? Is that legal? Like a placebo procedure or something?\n\nWritten from home isolation.", "post_id": "fnjece", "comment_id": "fla77xr"}, {"question": "Well done. Weddings can be tricky...between frees bars, toasts etc its not easy. Good work indeed..", "comment": "My friends wedding, and my brother was supposed to give the toast, but he was already drunk by the time of the toast, so I was handed a glass of champagne and asked to take his place. so..... somehow as if in a dream, I saw myself do this, I put the glass down, picked up a glass of water, and toasted, in front of 200 people with a glass of water. It's weird, and Im not bragging, I feel like as if a brick fell off a building and for some reason, I moved to the left, and it missed me. I don't feel proud, just relieved, relieved and lucky. Today is day 5 for me.\n", "post_id": "8koup1", "comment_id": "dzasdj3"}, {"question": "see a therapist. psychologytoday.com has a directory.", "comment": "In arguments with my husband, I tend to push him away. I rarely feel good enough for him so I try to convince him to move on.  He always fight for me, though, and end up holding me and promising we'll be okay and so will I. It's gotten to the point that he's done bc I won't fight for him the same way he does for me. I want to so bad. I want him to know I do. But I can't show it bc of thoughts. They yell at me that I'm holding him back. \n\nWe've gone a break now so I can find myself again. How do I fight for him? How do I make myself better?", "post_id": "6ar6ha", "comment_id": "dhgv6fq"}, {"question": "I have no familiarity with blonanserin (Blonitas), as it's not available in the US. I also feel like something is missing from the story. A problem with urination was treated by a psychiatrist? What was the diagnosis? An antipsychotic doesn't make sense at first glance, but the whole thing doesn't make sense to me at first glance.", "comment": "Age, 23 years. Height 5'8, weight 63 kgs. Indian.\nI used to smoke marijuana. For three years. Not a lot, and not regularly. Then for a period of 6-7 months, it became a lot and daily, barring some days or a week or two. Anyway. A month ago, felt I wasn't getting relieved after urinating. And had to go frequently. Constantly feeling like some pee was left. But no pain anywhere. Went to docs. Told them about my lifestyle, 100% honestly. Had tests for UTI, diabetes, hyperthyroidism. All normal. Uroflowmetry showed that I was emptying my bladder well, 30 ml left, 480 ml voided. But flow was less. 9 ml/s avg. \nUrologist referred to psychiatrist, said it's their issue.\nNow psychiatrist along two three multi vitamins, wrote me Blonitas 2 mg, which is used for schizophrenia, and as Google told me, used when first line of treatment fails. \nIf there's a psychiatry professional here, I would really appreciate if you could maybe enlighten me if prescribing Blonitas was overkill or not. Haven't yet started. Been a month since being prescribed. The urinary issue has lessened, although still there. Sometimes it's more sometimes none. Although I do have to push the last bit of urine out more than half the time. Flow is also good sometimes, but many a time it's less. \nI'd be grateful if someone could tell me. \nThanks.", "post_id": "bl0n3i", "comment_id": "emkp3b5"}, {"question": "2 weeks of abstinence isnt that long. [Erectile dysfunction](http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Erectile-dysfunction/Pages/Introduction.aspx) can be due to a number of causes, including drug misuse. Usually not permanent, but if it's persisting id see a doc about it to exclude other pathology.\n\nEdit: the other symptoms seem unrelated. Is the big toe numbness permanent?", "comment": "Hi docs,\n\nThe last time I've used cocaine was two weeks ago. Since then I've been able to abstain from it completely. I did abuse cocaine daily for 3 years. I also used to drink, I quit drinking along with cocaine use.\n\nI recently started dating again and have had difficulties maintaining an erection. I've taken 5mg cialis before and it seems to work well, but I don't prefer to take any drugs to assist keeping hard. I also have this persistent discomfort on the left lower torso, right below my rib cage and numbness in my left big toe. Is this indicative of another health condition\n\nThanks", "post_id": "5jsjaw", "comment_id": "dbin3om"}, {"question": "It's either a cognitive issue, or she's avoidant of questions she doesn't like. If it's the latter, have a big talk about it. In person.", "comment": "I'm visiting my GF in the city where she works. I used to live in this city, and my old housemate (female) and I are planning to catch up. Logistics are hard, but I told GF that I was thinking we could maybe get dinner with housemate and/or invite her to a comedy show we're attending afterward (over messenger). She responds but doesnt address either question - answers some unrelated other question from my messages. So I reiterated my questions about dinner and/or the show. This time she said that dinner sounded good. At this point I felt that she wasn't cool with the show, but I make an effort not to infer things and so I asked one more time about the show. She said \"uhh sure\", and then said she'd kinda prefer just the two of us. I was fine with this.\n\nThe issue is that I feel like this interaction is an example of my having to really dig in to get a straightforward answer as to my GF's feelings. I totally understand and have no issue with her not wanting a third wheel for the show. But when I pointed out to her that the reason I asked in the first place was that I wanted to see how she felt about it, she got defensive and claimed that that is why she eventually put forth her feelings. From my perspective, this type of communication should be straightforward and we should both feel comfortable answering such questions directly and immediately.\n\nAre my expectations off the mark? Is there some way I can try to improve this aspect of our relationship? Taken on its own, I would brush this aside, but I feel that similar things have come up in the past.\n\nThanks!", "post_id": "6q7ctb", "comment_id": "dkv89y3"}, {"question": "He may have ADHD, but the emotional outbursts and treating you and your kids poorly have nothing to do with it.  \n\n\nHe's an adult.  He's responsible for his behaviors regardless of how escalated his emotions are.  You are not.  Set firm expectations of how you want to be treated and follow up with consequences for crossing those boundaries.  ", "comment": "Hi there!  Im hoping some of you guys can give me some pointers before this relationship tanks and maybe answer some questions.  This may get lengthy, so I'll apologize up front but I really appreciate any help.\n\nBackground: He and I have been together almost 18 months.  He was honest from the beginning about his ADHD and his struggles with it.  He said \"But I can handle my shit\". \n\nThat being said, 98% of the time he can absolutely handle his own shit.  Hes actually quite successful in his chosen profession and uses his ADHD \"abilities\" as he calls them to his advantage.  Its the other 2% is why Im here.\n\nI learned early on to not even talk to him till atleast 30 minutes after hes taken his meds (Vyvanse) in the morning.  In the times that Ive been too early on that he'll go off on some intangible rant and I basically just let him run out of steam then hes right as rain.  Ok, I can handle that piece, its annoying but I can brush it off.  Its the sudden anger outbursts causing the real damage.  He'll insult me, my kids, attack my character and sum it all up with \"Im good with being done\" meaning the relationship.  \n\nSo, Ive been in abusive relationships in the past.  And while I know this is just another piece of his ADHD I have a pretty low tolerance for it due to my past.  I just refuse to live like that.  His outbursts on that level happen every 4-6 months and after its over he'll tell me he knows hes wrong and Im right and hes sorry.  \n\nSo my question is, how can I de-escalate it before it gets to bad? I cant just allow him to verbally attack me and just take it.  Hes very critical and judgemental.  Im trying to figure out a way to tell him that behavior is not acceptable while not escalating his emotions even further.  \n\nThx guys!\n\n", "post_id": "at7e3j", "comment_id": "egzelty"}, {"question": "Awesome to see your dedication is greater than you fear of being uncomfortable in New decisions. What a great start to your work towards a better life. Woot!!", "comment": "I'm about 2.5 weeks sober and I made it through a Christmas eve party with a bunch of friends and now I'm almost through a small christmas gathering with my sister and her fiance. I decided to not fly home to be with my immediate and extended family, as I knew the temptations would be greater. It's hardly felt like Christmas but at least I made it through without drinking. \n\nSo glad to be able to check in with you all. Hope everyone else had some success getting through the holidays.", "post_id": "3y8pya", "comment_id": "cybhag6"}, {"question": "I think you gotta examine that trigger, however small.", "comment": "I started CBD about a year ago and am now on a 63 day Headspace streak. But this weekend has been the toughest in several months. Any advice on overcoming what seem to be a plateau? I know what set it off. Something small but a constant source of angst for me.", "post_id": "dxs4dp", "comment_id": "f7wrksf"}, {"question": "Couldn't say without seeing her - but possibly a form of emotionally unstable [personality disorder](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/personalitydisorder.aspx) - but it just could be nothing at all.", "comment": "My grandmother on her side was admitted to a mental institution and I think my mom may have something as well. She's very capable and most people don't know she's not exactly right. She's 63, diabetic, 114 lbs, smoker, and American.\n\nHere are things I've noticed about her:\n\n* Anger - This is calmed down in the last few years but she used to road rage a lot when she drove me to elementary and middle school. On one occasion, the car in front of us was moving too slow so not only did she honk, she held the horn down and followed the car to their home. On another instance, she tailgated a van and when I asked her to back off, she yelled at me and eventually pulled over and wanted me to get out and walk home (I refused).\n* Inability to learn - I wouldn't say she has a learning disability but in some situations, she doesn't get things. For example, recently we were playing frisbee. I noticed that she would try to throw the frisbee when I wasn't looking. I told her she has to wait until I'm looking several times but she still didn't get it.\n* Refuses to seek or accept forgiveness - In all the times she has upset me, she has never tried to make it better. I brought up the tailgating incident a few years after it happened hoping she would apologize but instead she said it never happened. Her go-to phrase when I'm upset is, \"You'll get over it.\" When I make her upset and apologise, she says I'm not really sorry.\n* Lying/cheating - I feel she lies about everything, even about things that don't matter at all. She cheated on my dad with a neighbor.\n* Two-faced/phony - At work, she's always smiling and being happy but at home, she's the complete opposite. If my nephew is home and I tell a funny story, she'll laugh very, very hard but it doesn't seem genuine. When my nephew is gone and I tell a funny story, she doesn't even smile. She treated me like my nephew when I was younger.\n* Attention problems - When I was younger, I'd ask her to watch a video in my room and less than 30 seconds into it she'd say, \"Can I leave yet?\"\n* Impulsive - At one point, we had mountains and mountains of dresses because they were on sale. Most of them she never wore. My dad convinced her to throw them away because we were having difficulty moving around the house.\n* I don't want to call this last one but when I ask her about certain things, like the name of her siblings, she seems like she doesn't want to talk about it. We could be having a good time and if ask her certain things, she'll start replying with only one word (yes or no). I understand she could have some emotional problems with her family but she does this with trivial things too.\n* Lack of empathy - When I was a child, I noticed her shopping cart was blocking a couple from being able to get an item so I tried to move the cart. She snapped at me and said I shouldn't move it. One time when we were leaving the store, a car pulled up beside of us while we loaded our groceries. She didn't like that so she made sure to put the cart in between our car and the other driver. And she told them to fuck off. Another example is my brother has severe antisocial behavior and she refused to seek any help for him. I asked her why but she didn't want to talk about it.\n\nThat's about all I can think of. Any idea of what she may have would be greatly appreciated? I don't know if it's a mental disorder or an extreme case of a personality type.\n\n  ", "post_id": "52umlg", "comment_id": "d7nj0v9"}, {"question": "Congrats on being the 5000 reader! :)\n\nIn answer to your question: First, what are you doing when people walk up? Are you acting friendly? (making eye contact without staring, smiling, etc) Are you reading a book or otherwise giving off a \"do not disturb\" aura?\n\n You might want to bone up on your [body language](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/body-language); practice giving off \"open\" body language and I think you might find better success :)\n\nHowever, don't worry too much about \"Am I doing something wrong?\" Often times, people are going to sit next to people that they know. So it could be that other seats are filling up because people are sitting with their friends. There's also probably a bit of a spotlight effect going on--you notice when someone doesn't sit next to you, but you don't notice when there's someone else who doesn't get a seatmate either. So maybe you're not doing as badly as you think :)\n\nFinally, think about going and sitting next to other people too. Obviously, you want to make sure they are ok with you sitting next to them. But you might find much greater success when you take the intiative rather than when you wait for someone to come to you.\n\nHope that helps! Feel free to ask follow up questions if you like. Good luck!", "comment": "I feel like when i sit on the bus/l/anywhere the seats next to me are the last ones to fill up, am i not approachable or something?\ni've never been told i smell bad or anything.\nhttp://i.imgur.com/Ck5MV.jpg\nis it the way i dress or something?", "post_id": "t27bu", "comment_id": "c4iwxo4"}, {"question": "One of the hallmark symptoms of bipolar disorder is changes in sleep. During the \"high\" times do you find yourself sleeping less and not feeling like you need much or any sleep?", "comment": "First off, here are my personal stats:\nMale\nCaucasian\n30 years old\nNo medical conditions, and don't take any sort of medication\n\nWhen I was younger, my sister and I had always suspected our father had some form of bipolar disorder. Some days, he would be a totally normal person, and then other days, he would be irrationally angry over any little thing, but I don't *know* if that was an actual thing or not.\n\nSomething I'd never really pieced together, though, is that I may actually have similar traits. Not that I get \"angry\", but I'm prone to severe bout of depression and self-loathing. But then sometimes, I'll \"bounce-back\" and get this wild \"high\". This weekend, I was severely depressed and angry with myself (over not forcing myself to stick with a strict diet), gave up entirely and spent the remainder of it just hating myself. But then today, I feel *way* better, and actually sort of upbeat about things.\n\nI would definitely say I have more low's than high's, as my \"natural state\" is usually pretty pessimistic (pretty good at hiding it and carrying on with people, though). I dunno, I don't really know what the process is for evaluating stuff like that? I've never seen the point in talking to a psychologist -- it seems like that's just \"talking your feelings out\", not really doing anything to actively fix things -- but I guess recognizing I do have some sort of issue, I'm interested in how I might be able to... I don't know, \"be happier\"?", "post_id": "9wsm8u", "comment_id": "e9mypqb"}, {"question": "this is complex; go to marriage counseling", "comment": "- I have been married for 6 years. My wife worked hard when I was injured in the army. I still got paid during my rehabilitation so I continued to bring breed home. She supported me for 2-3 years. During that time though I didn't take the easy road. I also raised our son, who is 5 years old. I'm 29 now. We married at the age of 22 and 23. \n\n- Lately we have been fighting a lot. She wants more kids, I don't want more kids. It has been really nasty. We have 2 dogs, 1 cat, and I am just feeling so suffocated. I feel like I'm maxed out. My wife says she has been waiting for 2-3 years where I have kept pushing it back. \n\n- I did an excel spreadsheet budget and on our current incomes we would retire at the age of 65, comfortably. I do not want to be working 6-7 days a week just to get financial independence early. Am I being selfish ? \n\n- I tell my wife, I want financial stability. There is no rule saying you have to have kids before the age of 30. She is fixated on the age of 30-31 latest. She is pretty uneducated. As am I. I keep saying go and study and improve your wage so we can afford it. She gets defensive. Goes on suggesting, why can't you work 6 days a week and extra hard? I respond by saying, frankly I don't want another child right now. In addition, I'm about 1/3 through a degree. \n\n- I have been wanting my wife to loose weight for years and just get on board the whole financial independence thing. But she just didn't listen. I'm sure I have faults too and I'm talking one sided here. Nevertheless, the whole kid thing is draining my life. The cost of living isn't cheap where I live. Housing is basically unaffordable unless you want to be heavily indebted. She does a lot for me. I love her. But I'm just getting so exhausted.\n\n", "post_id": "5kd65l", "comment_id": "dbn825w"}, {"question": "need a short summary on the bottom", "comment": "My live-in girlfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for 4 years now. We're best friends, but she's questioned if we should stay together because of our different life goals. We've had multiple very serious discussions about it, but I've always been able to talk her through why our goals work together.\n\nIn the past month, she's been put through a very tough time. She had a very unfulfilling job that became so stressful that it became toxic. Her grandfather died and her last surviving grandparent is in the hospital, so she's been put under lots of pressure by her family from this. After coming back from the funeral she was fired for a bullshit reason and probably fell back into a depression she's been battling on and off since we've been together.\n \nI do my best to help, but I admit that I'm not the best boyfriend. I have some workaholic tendencies, so she feels (rightly) neglected from time to time. I've been trying to improve this and better communicate how important she is to me and how I feel about her. This is tough because when I'm with her I'm there for her 100%, but I haven't invested the time into making it special like I used to.\n\nAs for where I think this starts, she (jokingly I thought) asked questions about sleeping with other people. Our sex life is sporadic, again because of my work I often lack the energy to initiate, so she says I lack passion. I joked back saying that she could sleep with other guys, but I had to approve them (haha, ugly ones we both love to joke about!). We had a few of these conversations, but it didn't ring any bells at the time other than I was underperforming my old self.\n\nSo a few weeks ago we meet a nice guy who is passing through town and become quick acquaintances. This isn't unusual for us, we can be friendly and flighty. She tells me a day after we met that she went back out to a bar with him later and made out. I was pretty taken aback, I didn't get where that would come from at all. But given the amount of stress and circumstance, I quickly forgave her mistake and was very kind about it (possibly too much so). I asked if she was going to do that again, and she said no. She did say the kiss was mutual in the moment, but that she felt bad about it afterward. The guy left town and I thought that was the end of it, a moment of weakness under extremely rough conditions.\n\nSo last Saturday we make plans to do shopping and errands. She says she's going to a coffee shop in the morning to meet a good mutual friend and won't be back until the afternoon. So the afternoon comes, I hear nothing from her, which is unusual since we usually keep in good contact. She comes home late and asks me to sit down, she looks frazzled. She tells me she's going on a monthlong road trip with the guy she kissed from before.\n\nHere's the kicker, I'm immediately supportive. We've talked about her taking some time alone to travel for months (it's one of our contentious life goals). I help her pack her bags, fill the car with food, give her my card, and kiss her goodbye. I go back inside and think how fucking crazy that was, but we can both be that way sometimes, which is why I love our relationship so much. For whatever crazy reason, I continue to be hunky-dory about this until she doesn't text me the next day. Or the day after.\n\nI send her a cute email asking how the trip is going and for some pictures and stories of their travel. I hear nothing back. My stomach starts knotting up and I lose my appetite. I can't sleep and I'm making myself sick. What have I done?\n\nA few days after the email she calls me back. She says she doesn't want to talk or even think about anything, that she's happy that I gave her some space, and asks if I want her to come back. I instinctively answer yes, I'm basically dying for her inside. She's taken a part of me with her and she seemed surprised that I'd want her back. She mentioned she's a new person with new habits, kicking some quirky ones I found endearing.\n\nNow I assume she's taken this space to safely break up with me since when we were together we were inseparable. I still love the shit out of her and will always do my best to take care of her. She's a wild part of me that I could never be, and I'm her rock that could hold back an ocean. I honestly think I'd be ok with what was going on if she had told me before and then kept in contact with me, which seems crazy but she knows I'm not the jealous type. I can forgive most things if I think there's a chance for progress, but I know now that things will be different when/if she comes back.\n\nDoes anyone know what else she could be thinking? Is the relationship long over and I'm just hanging by my memories?\nThis is tough to figure out by myself. Thanks for taking the time to read and help.\n\nTL;DR Girlfriend runs off with a guy she just met without any explanation. After 4 years together I trusted her to do her thing, but it feels like that thing is to break up with me without telling me why :(", "post_id": "5ouejw", "comment_id": "dcm5xj8"}, {"question": "Well done!", "comment": "Today I went to Starbucks, ordered my drink and with little hesitation asked for one of the lids without a straw. Now to some this may seem like an everyday thing but for me this was a big step. After that I went to my first ever lash lift appointment. I was so unbelievably excited to treat myself to this. I laid down, closed my eyes and the woman began my treatment. I knew from the beginning I had to keep my eyes closed for a good hour and a half but, I had no idea how I would react. Once she had the perm solution on and she took her hands away from my eyes to let it sit it all sank in. I immediately started to feel dizzy and like I needed to open my eyes IMMEDIATELY. Now, a few years ago I would have just sat there through my anxiety attack and just dealt with it because I didn\u2019t want to bother her. Today, I very politely explained to her that I needed to have it taken off and I would still pay her for the service. She was so kind and understanding that she didn\u2019t charge me for anything and told me I could always come back and try again another day. Again, to some people this would sound like a failure. I failed to complete the treatment and I felt so overwhelmed, embarrassed, and upset. But, I asked for a different lid today. And that\u2019s a win in my book.", "post_id": "c6nptv", "comment_id": "esb1g5k"}, {"question": "Read the book \u2018Addicted to Unhappiness.\u2019", "comment": "As the title says, being sad just feels so good.  During an extreme depressive episode, i will initially feel horrible and after a week, the depression feels satisfying in a way.  Somewhat orgasmic for some reason.  For some reason it just hurts so good.  i also just ghosted my friends.  I now have nobody to talk to, but this self destructive behavior is so satisfying to me.  What is wrong with me?  And why do i forcefully isolate myself?  I am so lonely, even with friends and family around me.  My mind is more clear right now but when im in the gutters again i will probably continue this shitty behavior.  What is wrong with me?  Why do I enjoy being depressed?  It sounds so fucked but it took me years to admit to myself that i enioy being depressed as much as i hate it, to the point where i never want to be happy again for some reason.  Why am i so fucked?  Is this normal?", "post_id": "i5w928", "comment_id": "g0sfglx"}, {"question": "If someone has second thoughts after a year, it's not a good sign. Ask him to go to therapy to figure it out sooner than later.", "comment": "My boyfriend of a year admitted to currently having second thoughts about our relationship. This is so painful. He's been fluctuating between hot and cold since we discussed it. Sometimes he holds me close and other times he's distant like something's on his mind. I don't know what to do. He said there wasn't anyone else. Advice please! We've discussed it everyday for the past week. ", "post_id": "6sltmj", "comment_id": "dldq37u"}, {"question": "you did nothing wrong. she's confused within herself.", "comment": "Hey, this is gonna sound really crazy but there's this girl that I liked who left early on the last day of school cause she didn't wanna see me. So I thought \"hey, she probably don't like me. Imma move on.\n\nSo I moved on and 2 weeks later she messaged my psn sayin if I wanted to go to her camshow and it was free but the thing is you needed a credit card and not only that but she using a false identity. So I said na f that I'm not gonna trust it.\n\nA few days later she messages me through kik askin the same thing... I was actually gonna do it this time but I couldn't.\n\nSo then two more weeks past and I open up my email and theirs more than 20 emails a day asking the same thing. And all these damn sites have a Paywall. So I'm like f that. I ain't gonna trust this crap.\n\nThan I look at her tumblr and she said she can't do this anymore. And I'm like what the hell did I do wrong? She came through with a false identity sending me random links to porn sites. And I keep on wondering what the hell did I do wrong?\n\n", "post_id": "6nmiis", "comment_id": "dkam0rr"}, {"question": "Only risk is cheap sunglasses or wearing non sunglasses with wrong correction too much (ie even when not reading).", "comment": "Age: 19, Sex: Male, Height: 6'3\", Race: Caucasian, Weight: 190 lbs, Duration of complaint: N/A, Location: Eyes.\n\n​\n\nSo I'm not trying to wear reading glasses to look cool or see better, my vision is quite good actually. My problem is that I'm a philosophy major at my university and a lot of the books we have to read are in very small print. I have no trouble with reading the small print, however, it really strains my eyes when I read for long periods of time (about an hour or so). Rather than buying additional books with larger print, I'm thinking about just buying some cheap reading glasses that will magnify the text slightly (about 1.25%).  I would also like to get some readers with a blue light filter tint if that exists. \n\nMy Question: Will these readers impact my vision, or do I have nothing to be worried about? Thanks!", "post_id": "c4osed", "comment_id": "ery334p"}, {"question": "Sometimes people can tell.  Usually if it's something subtle they can't.  See you know exactly how you want to look/sound during interactions and any deviation from that you're going to notice and may beat yourself up on.  The other person has no pre-conceived notion or image of how you had WANTED to present yourself and just see you for what's there.  Usually they won't even pick up on \"mistakes\" or slip ups that deviated from what you intended.  We're all our own worst critics.  ", "comment": "Have you ever realised someone's anxious?only ever seen it once", "post_id": "8sqng5", "comment_id": "e11ws7t"}, {"question": "Have you ever tried a really good course of evidence based psychotherapy (e.g. adherent CBT) for your anxiety?  Anxiety and ADHD together can be a real bitch, and stimulants can definitely worsen anxiety.  Even when people have distressing somatic symptoms at the root of things, psychotherapy can help learn to cope with/tolerate them.", "comment": "[6'3\", 190 lbs, 37 year old male, Western Washington area, taking Adderall IR 10mg 3x day for ADHD-PI. Also taking Benadryl 50mg and Melatonin 6mg for sleep]\n\nI'm at my wits end. I've been trying to get to the root of my health issues for the last ~10 years and have made some progress, but I still feel pretty shitty and I'm losing hope fast. Does anyone have any idea what's going on? Would appreciate any (constructive) input / theories. Have seen multiple doctors, a couple of specialists (autoimmune), but no one has any conclusive evidence to help me. \n\nSummary: ADHD-PI (clinically diagnosed), multiple food sensitivities (gluten, dairy, random things like bananas and asparagus), sensitivity to meds (e.g. tried blood pressure meds like Intuniv and Clonodine to help with stimulant anxiety but feel super groggy, even at super low doses) and methylated vitamins (low dose methylfolate makes me anxious as hell, active B6 makes me super drowsy), MTHFR (homozygous MTHFR A1298C, MTR A2756G, and BHMT-02), IBS until I stopped gluten and dairy (mainly very gassy), still rears its ugly head now and then. Long-acting ADHD meds make me feel super jittery / wired, short-acting are tolerable but I still don't feel great. Labs (e.g. TSH, CBC Diff, Metabolic panel) come back more or less normal, vitamin levels (e.g. Magnesium, B vitamins) were low until I started supplementing despite eating very healthy. I'm currently taking Adderall IR 10 mg 3x day and that's it...no vitamins or anything else. \n\nDetails: \n* Clinical diagnosis of ADHD-PI: Was always the spacey kid in class who daydreamed all day, ever since gradeschool. Tested bright but not meeting potential. Intermittent bouts of hyperactivity and impulsiveness. Started taking prescribed stimulants in college, helped with concentration but had a lot of side effects (primarily anxiety), even on low doses. Tried all different kinds but not much difference (i.e. Ritalin SR and LA, Concerta, Focalin, Adderall IR and XR, Vyvanse, Dexedrine IR and ER, Evekeo). Long-acting were a LOT stronger than short-acting, I would feel strung out all day on long acting but could manage on short-acting. Thought maybe it was a stomach issue but Vyvanse isn't supposed to be impacted by stomach acid and it wired me up more than Adderall XR. Also tried BP meds to help with stim anxiety (i.e. Kapvay aka Clonodine and Intuniv aka Tenex), I felt a lot better but had blurry vision and was very drowsy so borderline non-functional. Still not sure why this happens, seems pretty atypical? \n\n* Social anxiety suddenly hit around 5th grade..remember suddenly feeling anxious and wondering why I was self-conscious around other people. Seemed to come out of the blue and never really went away. Not sure if this points to a biological change? \n\n* IBS (frequent gassiness) started in high school and continues to this day. Diet changes have helped some (mainly no gluten and dairy) but it still comes and goes. It's a lot better now but it was to the point in college where I had to leave multiple times during a 1 hour lecture to fart and considered quitting school. \n\n* Sensitive to meds: Typical things that you can take to help reduce stimulant side-effects (e.g. Intuniv, blood pressure meds) nearly put me to sleep. Tried 1/2mg Intuniv for a few weeks and get super drowsy, blurred vision, and can barely function. Tried Clonodine and Propranolol and am so drowsy I almost fall asleep, still feel some residual effects the next day. Taking a claritin 10 mg helps when food allergies flare up, but I'm borderline non-functional for a day since I'm so drowsy and out-of-it. \n\n* homozygous MTHFR A1298C, MTR A2756G, and BHMT-02: I know, this is probably junk science, but I was eager for an answer  so I took the 23andme test...tried taking low dosage of methylfolate (400 mcg), felt wired and anxious within 30 minutes. Regular folic acid makes me wired and apathetic. Tried taking low dose of active B6 (20 mg), after a few days I feel super drowsy and can barely function. On the flip side, regular B6 (~10 mg) makes me feel super wired and anxious. \n\n* Gluten and dairy sensitive - stopped both a few years ago and felt significantly better within a few days (greatly reduced jitteriness / impulsivity / muscle pain / anxiety / moodiness / and improved digestive symptoms). I never had any of the classic food intolerance issues e.g. hives, the shits, would mainly have gas, anxiety, increased impulsivity, moodiness, sensitive to hot and cold, and fatigue. When I was taking ADHD meds (Adderall) and SSRIs during this time I felt borderline manic at times, like my neurotransmitters were going into overdrive. Read through MACS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) symptoms and they fit pretty well when I was still eating gluten. \n\n* Suspected bipolar because of the difficulty with mood and impulsivity and feeling borderline manic at times before I quit gluten when I was taking ADHD meds and SSRIs, tried nearly all of the mood stabilizers (e.g. Lithium, Lamictal) but nothing helped much\n\n* Got blood and stool testing after feeling better from stopping gluten/dairy and had some strange food allergies e.g. onions, garlic, mushrooms. Stool showed candida overgrowth, SIBO, and low amounts of good stomach bacteria (not sure how relevant this is since it was from a naturopath). Treated with antifungals / high dose probiotics, may have helped a little bit but nothing significant. \n\n* Also tested positive for Giardia, treated with antibiotics. Digestion didn't improve after treatment.\n\n* Got on SSRIs due to anxiety and to help with stimulant side-effects...calmed me down in some aspects but made me more anxious and pleasure-seeking in others. Tried other SSRIs and some SNRIs but nothing seemed to \"fit\" or feel right, always felt too anxious or apathetic or both. Finally got off them after ~8 years since I didn't like the way I felt or how they interfered with my concentration, have been off them for nearly a year. Anxiety and depression have come back but they're mostly situational (i.e. due to me dealing with health issues and not knowing what the root cause is) and manageable for now. \n\n* Stopped drinking 1 month ago (was having some whiskey on weekends, no beer/wine/cocktails), no improvements.\n\nI've seen multiple ADHD specialists, GPs, and a couple of specialists (e.g. autoimmune) but my labs come back normal. I have no idea what's going on and could really use some advice since I'm starting to feel like there's no way out and I'll never get a handle on this. I'm starting to think maybe this is something like Mast Cell Activation Syndrome because nothing else fits and my doctor's agree that based on my symptoms and lack of reaction to treatment whatever I have seems pretty rare. Any advice would be much appreciated. ", "post_id": "8ph73h", "comment_id": "e0bpc4z"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve been getting into bullet journaling, which is when you basically make your own planner from scratch in a blank notebook. I\u2019ve seen bullet journals being touted as \u201cthe best planner for ADHD\u201d because you can adapt it to exactly your purposes since you\u2019re making it all yourself. Some people get really elaborate with them but they can be done very simply as well. There is a video on bullet journaling on the How to ADHD YouTube channel if you want to look and get more info to see if it seems like something he\u2019d like to try. If so, a blank journal and some nice pens could make a great gift. I\u2019m doing bullet journaling and finding it works better for me than any other planner so far. ", "comment": "Hi! Not ADHD here but follow this subreddit to keep up with the community as my beloved boyfriend is super ADHD.\n\nHe doesn\u2019t know what he wants for Christmas. I really want to get him a kickass present that he\u2019ll both love and use. He just got accepted back into school and I am so excited for him and proud!! So, for those of you who have gotten through school, I just wanted to know if y\u2019all have any ideas on gifts I can give him to help him stay on schedule and stress-free throughout the school year.  \n", "post_id": "a4dk6e", "comment_id": "ebdibfp"}, {"question": "Why did you text him when you were apparently in the same room?", "comment": "My friend (more like sister) and I were sitting at her house with her SO, who asked her to go get some things from his house. He tosses her his keys and I bring up that I'm hungry. We briefly discuss what fast food places are open and we leave. We stop at [insert crappy fast food place here], go to the SOs house, and come back.  \n\nSO sees that we went to get food and loses. his. shit. He starts yelling at her asking why she didn't ask him first if she could go any place besides his house, telling her he's tired of her \"acting so fucking entitled\". She says she thought he heard us talking about getting food, he replies that he's \"sorry [he] didn't eavesdrop on your conversation\". A string of obscenities are thrown at her, he repeatedly calls her stupid and an idiot, all the while she's saying she's sorry and she just won't use his car anymore since it's a big deal. He continues to instigate and exacerbate the argument by asking seemingly rhetorical question and demanding a response, even though the answer to the question is basically her admitting to being an idiot (the whole time I'm sitting next to my friend quietly [awkwardly] eating my food that seemed to be the source of the problem). F-bombs are dropped, names are called, and finally I text him and tell him to chill out and drop it. He reads the text, looks at me and says  \n\n\"WTF are you talking about?! Mind your fucking business!\" to which I reply \"You made it my business when you decided to argue with your GF right in front of me! Chill the fuck out and leave her alone! She apologized and still you're screaming and yelling at her like she's a child! Either drop it, or go the fuck home!\"  \n\nAt this point, he and I are staring each other down and my friend is trying to get us to stop yelling at each other. I tell him he's being childish, he implies that I am the childish one, and I pack my shit and leave.  \n\nThis is the first time I've ever said anything during one of their fights. I don't feel bad because I stood up for my friend when her SO was treating her like she was less than shit. But I wonder how I could have handled it better, or if I should have even intervened in the first place..  \n\nEdit: I'm older than both of them. I'm 23 (in June). She's 22 and he's 20.  \n\nEdit 2: I am a female.", "post_id": "rp5ct", "comment_id": "c47io64"}, {"question": "i would see a therapist to process this", "comment": "Hey guys,\n\nI [26m] with that girl(24w) for quiet a while now.  \nWe're a couple for almost 7 years now, 4 of which we share a flat.\nHowever, I never really overcome the idea, that we don't really fit.  \nEveryone tells me, and If i \"think\" about it, she is perfect. She suits me very well. She is smart, attractive and careful.  \nI'm hard to handle, distanced (to everyone more or less) and impulsive.  \nShe doesn't question our love in any manner, but I do all the time.  \nShe is a very(!) good catch and I can't imagine to find a better one. But still, there is doubt.  \n\nOn one side, I think its unfair to stay with her. I waste her lifetime in which she could find one who loves her without a doubt. On the other side I know, all she wants is to spend her life with me and that eventually, my doubts will perish.  ", "post_id": "66g3xx", "comment_id": "dgihwtv"}, {"question": "avoid him. see your friend one on one", "comment": "Hi all! Throwaway as my main is pretty easy to identify and I know he's a redditor. \n\nSo here's the story: my best friend is amazing. We met in college and have been there for each other through a lot. I [25/F] have PTSD and she's stood by my side as other friends have fallen away. She introduced me to my BF [28/M] who I've been with for 4.5 years and who is the light of my life. \n\nHer BF, however, is a different story. I want to like him and sometimes I do, but I can't help but think there is something wrong going on with their relationship and it makes it hard for me to be around him. \n\nThey've been together for a while and when they first started dating he showed a lot of red flags: leaving her on the streets alone after a heaving night of drinking and fighting, calling her names, mocking her personal beliefs, and once proclaiming that although he's never cheated on her he cheated on all his past gfs. He's generally funny and she seems to be in love with him, but once, while ranting about issues with our respective BFs I got the sense that it was common for him to lie about who he sees and what he does when he goes out. She once caught him with a girl on his lap at a bar... \n\nThis alone would probably make any best friend upset, but I've had personal interactions with him that really drive it home for me. Because of my mental illness I rarely drink and if I do it's just one beer/cocktail. One. No more, no less. She knows this. Their lifestyle includes a lot of drinking so on the rare occasion we go to a double date, there's a lot of drinks going around except me. Several times now he's secretly bought us all shots and when I didn't want to take mine he threw a fit. Most recently he did it to just my BF and he was upset, but agreed to take it because he had already spent the cash and he felt obligated. Another time they took us out to dinner, their treat, and he bought me a cocktail I barely touched and literally threw a fit and wouldn't let us leave until it was finished (my friend gulped it down who was clearly uncomfortable). \n\nWhat the fuck is this? To me, it's scary because he triggers my PTSD which was caused by men who wouldn't take \"no\", fighting, and being completely unconscious as a sign to leave me the fuck alone and his tantrums and boundary-crossing makes it literally impossible for me to be around him. I want to say something, but I feel like I had my chance way back when they started dating (and I did voice concern, but it never went anywhere). He also pays 90% of their bills (he's well off) and I know that is another form of control. She seems to be thriving and confident about life and maybe it's my own pathology that is triggered by him, but I'm tired of coming up with excuses on why I never want to hang with both of them together. \n\nTL;DR Best friend's BF shows serious signs of control issues and is emotionally abusive. I want to be there for her, but I can't stand to be around him and I'm tired of coming up with excuses. ", "post_id": "6ar6pc", "comment_id": "dhgv5h9"}, {"question": "if you're mature, it will work. requires commitment and fortitude and the ability to spend time alone without becoming frantic.", "comment": "I met my boyfriend almost 12 months ago, we started dating 11 months ago and have been exclusively together for 8 months.  We met while both working abroad; for visa reasons, I moved home 6 weeks ago and am planning to stay here.  He plans to return home in the next 18 months, but this is dependent upon his company agreeing to a transfer, or finding a similar position at home. \n\nJust wondering how other couples have transitioned from seeing each other daily to long distance, and what advice they have on how to deal with said distance.  I have seen other Reddit posts suggesting things like watching movies simultaneously etc., however for us the time difference and full time jobs gets in the way of that (and also we share a one screen Netflix subscription :) ).\n\nThank you! \n\n ", "post_id": "6wy9z1", "comment_id": "dmbqwo1"}, {"question": "Hey, I'm glad you shared!  That's exactly what this sub is: A safe place to vent, connect, and communicate.\n\nI'm a graduate student in psychology, and every bit of my education and empathy is pushing me to tell you: Go talk to a professional.  They can help in ways you didn't even know they could.  If you can get yourself to therapy, by all means, do it.\n\nIn the meantime, (and I'm sure I speak for many people on this sub), you're always welcome to post here if you want to talk.  You can also message me if you feel inclined.\n\nThanks again for sharing; that's a terrible story, but I'm really glad you're taking steps towards healing.  That's a really good sign!", "comment": "This will be a wall of text, \n\nI guess this starts when i was young. When i was 11, i came to the realization that i was transgender. This was a while ago, so most people then weren't familiar with the idea, and i was stuck feeling like a freak. So naturally, i kept this to myself, and stayed bottled up with my emotions. The way i dealt with it was to put on a 'tough guy' image, which made me a bit of an asshole... combined with being a hardcore nerd, it was a recipie for being ostracized at school.\n\nWhen i was 13, i managed to make friends with a guy a few years older than me. He was just as nerdy as me, and we gradually became close enough for him to come out to me as gay. He knew that it doesn't bother me, and seeing his trust let me open up to him a little - I told him that i was too, because it seemed like a good stepping stone to coming out as trans.\n\nWe started to date in secret, and over a few months i got the courage to come out properly to him. He didn't react how i expected him to, he was pissed off at me. He told me if i wanted to be a bitch, he'd show me what a bitch is good for, dragged me off and sexually abused me. I was in shock, and the one person i felt safe with had turned against me. This kept on going on for a little over a month, and i somehow convinced myself that this is how a normal relationship was... he was right, i was disgusting and weird. After a little over a month of this, he graduated, moved, and i never heard from him again.\n\nWith all this, my plan to come out to my family was shattered, and i turned into a complete recluse... the only places i felt safe were my room, the comic shop, and the net cafe where i pretty much grew up. I went through high school being bullied for being socially awkward and withdrawn, although no one did anything to me physically. I think it was because i had a growth spurt, and ended up much taller than everyone else. Even so, i was an easy target.\n\nSomehow i made it through high school and into university, where by luck a few people from my gaming clan were doing the same comp sci course as me. For the first time in years, i had friends... although i learned not to properly open up to them. We'd work on counterstrike mods and maps together, but honestly it was pretty superficial.\n\nI discovered there was a queer collective at the uni, and figured that i could find the support to come out from people in it... by this point, the depression from being in the wrong body was unbearable. and it was a battle between this and the utter fear of anyone finding out. Somehow though, i managed to make it though the door and go to the meetings, and for a few months i sat in there being silent, taking in the counterculture. I felt safe here, because everyone in the room had gone through a similar life to me, and one of the girls there started trying to break me out of my shell.\n\nWe didn't have much in common, but at the same time she was an amazing person, and kept inviting me to hang out with her and her friend. For the first time, i had a friendship that wasn't superficial. I told her about being trans, and she helped me build my confidence. After 6 months of finding a sense of self worth, i decided i couldn't wait any longer and came out to my parents.\n\nThey were completely fine with it, which somehow just made me angry - here was something i was tearing myself up over for years out of fear, and what.. i didn't need to fear anything from them? It was also a relief, but their reactions were underwhelming. A few weeks later, i saw a doctor, who referred me to a therapist, and after my first meetings i got the hormones that i had been dreaming of my entire life.\n\nFor the first time, i was feeling truly happy... i was making more friends, started going to parties, and the body i hated started turning into one i was proud of. Then, one day, i decided to go to the beach. I wasn't sure exactly how to dress for it - i was still in the early stage of transition, and at that point i was just androgynous. Being worried that i wouldn't pass as a girl yet, i decided to just wear boardshorts.\n\nI was sunbathing, and a drunk guy came up to me. At first he was hitting on me, and that freaked me out a bit - I didn't realize that i would pass to him, and from his perspective he must've seen a topless girl at a beach. But then he started squinting at me, and asking if i was a girl. Then he became angry, and started hitting me. He kept punching me until i blacked out.\n\nWhen i came to, i was in the surf club with EMT's looking over me, and after a few questions they told me i had a mild concussion, and kept trying to cheer me up by telling me i'd have an impressive bruse. FUCK THEM. The guy had been arrested, and i was taken to the police station to record a statement, and while i was waiting i oveheard some cops making bets on whether i was a guy or a girl. I don't know how to explain this, but that was one of the most soul crushing things to hear, especially considering being androgynous was what caused this in the first place.\n\nI became withdrawn again, and closed back into my shell. The whole world frightened me, and i just had this overwhelming sense of fear whenever i went outside. I couldn't concentrate on my uni work, and eventually dropped out.\n\nAbout a year later, i met my current girlfriend. She's also transgender, and i felt it was my last shot finding someone i could trust... to be perfectly honest with myself, i'm still not sure that i'm actually attracted to girls, but there was no way i could handle a guy being attracted to me. The idea just terrifies me. But she's kind, loving, and shared my interests. We moved to sydney, and got an apartment together.\n\nSydney was one of the worst places i've ever lived though, and everything just fell apart there. One night i was walking with some friends, and we were mugged by a bunch of guys with knives... we managed to run away, but my friend lost his phone to the robbers. Another night, three muscly, drunk dudes decided to chase me down a street. I had no idea what they wanted, but i had no intention of finding out. Another time, some guys from oxford street (basically the LGBT area of the city) invited me to their place to play some PS3 games... i was on mdma at the time, and feeling trustful, so i made a stupid decision and went with them. they had torn most of my clothes off before they realized i was trans, and their shock gave me enough time to run away.\n\nThen, my girlfriend started acting weird. She was having 'memories' that were basically things i had opened up to her about, and went through wild personality changes. Sometimes she'd just be angry and hateful, then other times she'd be afraid and need someone to hold her. All this went on while my flatmate turned into a psychopathic meth head / meth dealer, and would accuse us of stealing her stash. She was too tweaked out to realize that she was smoking it all. One day i just broke down, and realized i couldn't handle it anymore. We moved out to her parents place, where i thought i could just take a break from the world.\n\nBut my girlfriend just started changing more, and eventually just stopped sleeping... it was becoming clear she was falling into some kind of psychosis, and once again i had to put my feelings on hold. Her dad took her to the hospital, and the doctors there involuntarily committed her. I just wanted to break down and cry, but i couldn't... i had to be there for her, and help her get better.\n\nAfter a few months, she started to return to her old self, but i don't think i'll ever feel anything again. The last 12 years of my life were hell, and i feel completely stuck, unable to do anything at all. I can barely leave the house, and when i do there's a constant fear of so much, my heart races, i feel like i'm going to die very soon. I think i'm going to go into therapy soon, because there's no way for me to handle my life right now. But i want to tell people, because i spent all my life bottling up to protect others and not be a burden.\n\nI just want to feel normal again, and i want to talk about my life without being afraid.", "post_id": "29yng3", "comment_id": "cipwz3m"}, {"question": "help her find a therapist.  psychologytoday.com", "comment": "So I've been dating my girlfriend for about two years now. I love her dearly, we're really close, and everything is usually pretty great. We both make each other better and get along well.\n\nBut my girlfriend was previously in a relationship in which her ex was extremely toxic and verbally and emotionally abusive, so much so that the effects still last and show themselves sometimes. For example, she used to have very nasty fights with him in which he would say awful, awful things that don't bear repeating. So now whenever we have a disagreement or argument her mind just goes into a kind of frenzy as a defense mechanism and she can't cope with it well. I wouldn't say she's mentally I'll, but it still does cause problems in our relationship. She sometimes has trouble trusting me because of how bad things got for her in the past. \n\nShe also dwells on the past with him too much and that affects her as well. What can I do to make her more comfortable or help her get over it? I've tried to be as understanding as possible, but I want to do more for her if I can. How can I support her through this issue?\n\nThanks guys \n\nEDIT: I forgot to mention, sometimes (not terribly often) she's uncomfortable being alone with me in certain situations and begins to feel a little anxious, which is again from past experiences in which her ex tried to pressure her into a level of intimacy she wasn't comfortable with. Is there anything I can do to ease the tension for her so she can relax more easily?", "post_id": "6kpzrp", "comment_id": "djo0v6v"}, {"question": "2 VERY important issues; you were honest about your intentions. but the Values/religion issue is bigger. Shared core values are the most important thing in a rel.;  otherwise you become strangers over time.", "comment": "Hello, reddit. I have an issue with my current girlfriend of 2 years.  I've known her for a long time (7years), but only decided to date as of 2 years ago because I felt she needed to mature a bit.  Anyway, I live in a place that I don't like. At all. The population, the landscape, the weather; it's all simply terrible.  I've made this known since I first started talking to her, and make it so very clear that I wasn't going to be staying here. She said that's fine, and we started dating. Fast forward 6 months, I bring up moving away and she kind of pushes back. I think nothing of it and move on.  Fast forward another 6 months, and I bring it up again, ask where she'd want to live. She says she doesn't want to leave where we are because she wants to be close to her family to raise her children. I can respect that completely, but I feel like I was deceived.  I made my intentions very clear, and now she's reneging on me. \n\nOn top of all that, we have some very different beliefs when it comes to creationism, evolution, afterlife, etc.  I don't know.  I love a lot about her, but I don't know if it's enough to keep me in a place I hate. \n\nThoughts? Opines? \n\nThank you.\n\n", "post_id": "6y8fii", "comment_id": "dmlehc5"}, {"question": "Nothing wrong to ask your psychologist, who knows you much better than we will. ", "comment": "I'm a 16 year old male teenager who suffered from atypical autism in early childhood. With the help from my family, psychologist and high IQ(I'm not bragging here), I guess I don't have it anymore. I am sometimes socially awkward though.\n\nI sometimes feel really happy, confident and energetic, but this doesn't last forever. On the next day, I may feel hopeless, guilty, sad and unmotivated but I also feel spoiled because I don't really have a reason to be sad, which makes me feel even more guilty. I made some research and found out my symptoms match with cyclothymia. I don't know if I really have a condition or I'm just trying to turn myself into a special snowflake. Should I talk to my psychologist about my concerns or am I just being edgy?\n\nOther things:\n\n178 cm height\n\n81 kg weight\n\nI smoke 5-10 cigarettes a day and sometimes drink (though usually not binge).\n\nI also spend money a lot, I really don't know how or why.", "post_id": "75yco9", "comment_id": "do9w6s2"}, {"question": "Yes that certainly is a betrayal. It seems that you want a monogamous relationship and unless he can commit to you as fully as before I don't think the relationship is going to be what you want.", "comment": "Recently, My boyfriend asked me to be in an open relationship. Background: we have been dating for over two years and live together. He has frequently said he loves me like hes never loved anyone and that he wants to marry me someday.\n\nAbout two months ago, i lost My job and had problems that kept me from going to school. I was broke and depressed. Despite his begging me to live with him and be monogamous and supportive, he began arguing with me about money which had me feeling more depressed and hopeless. So, i applied for a good paying job in a city. (We live in a rural \u00e1rea with few jobs). \n\nI got a call back for the job and that vey day, i received news that My grandmother died so we both decided i may as well go to The interview as id have to head south anyway.\n\nAfter two weeks of talking with him about this, i had his blessing, I took The job and left for The city and stayed AT a friends. Every night he called me and we talked for hours, missing each other. A few days later, i couldnt take it and he was sad to\u00f3 so i asked him how he felt About me going back. He was happy and agreed. We made terms that we would be supportive, loving and exclusive. I quit My job and went back.\n\nHe kept telling me he loves me wants to marry eventually and have My children. We had been having a great time and we had been exclusive (or so i thought). \n\nA few days ago he asked to be open because he met a Girl. They had already gone on a few dates\n I have always typically consideres poly reasonable and natural but instead i feel betrayed. I left a job and we agreed to be mon\u00f3gamos just a month ago. He is The inscure type so i have to reassure him constantly that im faithful. Now i feel we live a double standard relationship. I am angry AT him for letting me leave a job and making me agree to terms he broke quickly. \n\n\nSee, ive been exclusive with him for years. I asked him if id be #1 or #2 and he said #1 for now. He is trying to blame me as its My fault because i left for that job for a few days. I feel hurt because we talked About My job for 2 weeks and agreed. He begged me to come back and now i feel left on My ass. I dont know what to Do\n\nUpdate: i got The girls number and called her  without my boyfriend knowing. She told me he had been lying to her to\u00f3, saying he was breaking up with me. She said they had slept together on a lunch break of his. He had told me they never even kissed.", "post_id": "5wdqaf", "comment_id": "de9a7gc"}, {"question": "I've read that paper before. It's a very weird one. I'm inclined to attribute a lot of its weirdness to its methods:\n\n>50 patients met our inclusion criteria, with a baseline mean MMSE score of 23.94. \n\nThat is not a normal, representative sample of patients with or without depression. That is a cognitively impaired baseline population. I'm not sure what was going on with that, and I am very reluctant to over-extrapolate from one weird study.\n\nInstead, here's a more recent meta-analysis of multiple studies, which found that antidepressants tend to be mildly helpful for cognition in people with depression and to have little effect in people without: [A meta-analysis of the effects of antidepressants on cognitive functioning in depressed and non-depressed samples.](https://doi.org/10.1007/s11065-018-9369-5)", "comment": "Do SNRI or SSRI negativity affect comprehension? Or negatively affect memory? \n\nI currently take Effexor 150mg and am worried it is negatively affecting my studies. I have found a few articles that say it does; not implying it's conclusive\nThank you!\n\nhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5002481/\n\n\nAge 29\nSex M\nHeight 6\"\nWeight 186\nRace C\n\nCurrent medications (if any): stated above", "post_id": "b1zs4a", "comment_id": "eipiy11"}, {"question": "You do grieve alcohol, I think.  It's been a friend/companion/lover/etc for so long.  Doesn't matter that it was a shitty friend/companion/lover/etc.  It was familiar and comforting and you loved it.  \n\nYou grieve the way your life will change, because the things you've been doing for so long are going to be gone.  The way you look at Friday night will be different.  The things you do with friends and family will be different.  Your relationships will change.  Your routines will change.  So, you aren't just grieving alcohol.  You're grieving the way of life that you are giving up, the comfortable, the familiar.  \n\nIt's scary and it's sad.  I get where you're coming from.  Two weeks into my sobriety, I broke down crying because I realized that it was Friday and instead of being psyched about going out to a new restaurant and having cocktails (my go-to for Friday nights), I had literally no idea what to do.  How, I thought, does one look forward to Friday night without cocktails?  What the hell am I supposed to look forward to now?  I cry when I think about how my relationship with my family is changing - getting wasted together was what we did.  Now it's all different.\n\nThe lesson for me is that I can deal with all of the grief and fear sober.  I always could, but I didn't see that until now.  I like the idea of a new sober me walking forward into this unknown future.", "comment": "Up until the last couple of days things have been relatively easy. My quit day was really important because I fell and hit my head hard. That\u2019s what prompted me quitting.\n\nTwo days ago I got into an argument with my SO. We\u2019ve made amends but last night I was a mess. Just a crazy anxious bitch selfishly begging myself to justify going next door and buying a 6pack. Then I came on stopdrinking and read until I fell asleep. Today I\u2019m grateful that I didn\u2019t drink. It wouldn\u2019t have solved anything, and I would have just gone back to a version of me that I hate. \n\nI thought I was done with the cravings. I\u2019m annoyed that I tell myself that I can just drink when everyone goes to bed. I\u2019m not a sneaky person, so why am I thinking these thoughts? Why am I hella depressed? Im acting like a friend or family member died... I hate drunk me, so why am I romanticizing my relationship with booze? And why now??\n\nI had planned on quitting smoking today, but now I feel like that might not be a good idea. Idk. \n\nBut day 25 feels so good.", "post_id": "d8oqa2", "comment_id": "f1c9j78"}, {"question": "That's probably fine. If you're starting paroxetine immediately you're unlikely to have withdrawal effects, although it's also possible to cross-taper and go to a lower dose of escitalopram and a starting dose of paroxetine simultaneously. That should be a question to ask the doctor who's managing this, though. If he or she isn't someone you can talk about meds with, there are going to be some barriers between you two.\n\nWhy paroxetine? That's an antidepressant that's well known for having very unpleasant withdrawal, relatively frequent side effects, and no significant reason to choose it over another SSRI. Some people do respond very well to it, but it's rarely my first choice. Your doctor may have reason to pick it, but it's worth a discussion.", "comment": "37. F, 5'4\", 165, White, 1 1/2 years, Mental, Anxiety/depression, Escitalopram 10mg daily, fish oil, vitamin d3, magnesium, iron, multi-vitamin, no drugs or alcohol, using patch to quit smoking.\n\nI went to the doctor today to discuss my progress on Escitalopram. It's been 6 weeks at 10mg and 3 weeks prior at 5mg. \n\nAfter discussing how I am feeling and my side effects it was decided that Escitalopram isn't the best choice for me. The doctor is going to start me on Paroxetine 10mg. \n\nHe said that due to the length of time on Escitalopram that I can just stop taking it and tomorrow begin the Paroxetine. I'd just like a little input from a doctor about whether this is an ok way to proceed?\n\nThank you.", "post_id": "9xi4ur", "comment_id": "e9skvgj"}, {"question": " Higher doses of acetaminophen are associated with higher risk of toxicity, but the toxicity is acute. If you made it through without symptoms, you likely took a low enough dose that you did no damage. Maybe if you'd had liver enzyme levels checked they would have been elevated a few days after, but maybe not. You got lucky! For all the talk about the deadliness of Tylenol overdoses, many people do survive.\n\nI'm not a toxicologist and I don't know if the risk is linear or not, but 10 mg in a day is a point where many, but not all, people suffer serious toxicity. It depends somewhat on size/weight as well.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ap0b96", "comment_id": "eg51t6d"}, {"question": "i would see where you're at at the 3 month mark", "comment": "Let me start with some background. We started dating a little over a month ago. She and I got into our relationship very quickly. Too quickly, as I've always had a slight suspicion of. We had some pretty good chemistry on our first date, and we wound up hooking up, which is something neither of us have ever done on a first date. We wound up going on another date a couple days later, and we hooked up again. After we finished, she told me that she loved me. This obviously took me pretty off-guard, but under the pressure I said it back. I liked her a pretty good deal and kinda just did it without thinking. To this day I honestly don't think I really love her yet; she's a cool person and I enjoy hanging out with her, but I don't know about \"love\". I know it was wrong of me to say that, and I'm not going to try to make excuses: it was a mistake for me to do it.\n\nI've noticed that since we started saying \"I love you,\" my romantic feelings for her are occasional for the most part. When we're out on dates, I'll have feelings like that for her sometimes. Generally, however, I don't feel entirely interested in her as a romantic partner. This is especially true after we have sex. It's a good time, but once all of the sexual energy is gone, I really lose interest. Really I've mostly been seeing her as a good person who shares some of my interests. We get along well, but for me, the spark isn't there all that often. But she's very much in love (or more likely infatuated) with me, and she tells me pretty often when we're together. I feel really bad about all of this, because I strive to be a gentleman, particularly when it comes to dating.\n\nI guess my question is, do I hold out for a little longer to see if my romantic feelings for her become more consistent? Or do I end it now before we get even more serious? I'm afraid of hurting her, because she's a good person. At the same time, though, if my feelings don't change in another month or two, it's only going to make splitting up even tougher for her. What's the best approach? Or what can I do to try to find the answer within myself?", "post_id": "5mscze", "comment_id": "dc60ofk"}, {"question": "That's a little bit of a strange story. If you had a seizure, it has nothing to do with opioids, but you're also relatively unlikely to stop breathing. If you had respiratory depression, it makes sense that it could be an opioid  overdose, even an accidental one, and Narcan would help. Obviously an accidental overdose means you didn't intend to and didn't realize, so unless you keep documented counts of remaining pills there's no way to be certain, but it's very difficult to actually take so much Tramadol that you are unresponsive. It's not that important, but did they get a drug screen? EEG? Head imaging? Those would help with a few things.\n\nBoth Tramadol and especially Wellbutrin lower seizure threshold (make you more likely to have a seizure, including one for no reason other than medications). Sudden loss of consciousness sounds more like a seizure than an opioid overdose, too. If that's the case, you need to talk to the doctor who is prescribing those medications because the combination may be tolerated in general but could be causing you to seize.\n\nNone of your labs particularly explain anything, at least to my understanding. Your platelets are a little high but not hugely so, and that's not very significant without something else going on. High platelets wouldn't cause seizures.", "comment": "39 F\nsocial smoker\nNo alcohol use\nNo drugs\nCurrent medications: Effexor, Wellbutrin, Tramadol\n\nA few days ago I was mid conversation with my roommate when I went into a seizure and stopped breathing. She called 911 and did what the operator said and kept me breathing til the emts took over. I later woke up in the hospital and the last thing i remember is talking to my roommate. According to the Dr I came in unresponsive and they gave me a shot of narcan and I started breathing on my own. I did not OD as I had taken the regular dose of all my medications. My bottles of prescriptions were given to the emts and confirmed by the dr that pills were accounted for. I was eventually discharged as \"unintentional overdose\" which is so disturbing to me cause I know I didn't OD AT ALL. If I had OD'd I would admit it, own it and get help. \n\nSince this has happened I have been reading my medical history charts (I have access to online MyChart records for 3 places I go from 2012) and studying my history and have noticed a few things:\n\n*every single but one CBC test I've had done since 2012 has had an elevated platelet level. Ranging from 401-540. \n\n*I have had debilitating knee pain which has gotten worse the last two years rapidly. I am diagnosed with osteoarthritis level 4 (right knee) and osteoarthritis level 3 (left knee) \n\n*4/2016 MRI of right knee results include: nonspecific mildly hyperintense t2 signal in the bone marrow of distal femur and proximal tibia. This has appearance of red marrow reconversion. Correlate clinically for possibility of myeloproliferative disorder or chronic anemia.\n\n*Anion Gap on most recent CBC is 14.\n*Glucose is 135.\n*Bun/Creatine ratio is 7.0\nALT is 63.\n\nAll other CBC ranges were in range. \n\nAnyone have any insight to this? Thanks in advance!", "post_id": "9ag7z5", "comment_id": "e4v6yxu"}, {"question": "So I get that your roommates are assholes, but why does your boyfriend\u2019s diagnosis justify him lashing out at others? No diagnosis justifies that kind of behavior, and you shouldn\u2019t use his mental illness in that manner. \n\nAs a therapist, your roommates aren\u2019t responsible for any dangerous behavior of your boyfriend\u2019s if they\u2019re mean to him. People are mean to other people. It\u2019s not their job to morph to what you want. It\u2019s your job to learn to adapt and overcome to these types of people.  \n\nAlso, some of the behavior from your roommates that you\u2019ve described isn\u2019t ableist behavior: it\u2019s just shitty roommate behavior. Especially the whole \u201cplaying music loudly\u201d thing. My roommates did the same thing. Honestly that\u2019s part of the experience, and having roommates teaches you to learn appropriate and healthy conflict resolution. Have a conversation with them. Tell them how you feel. Look for compromises. My roommate used to blast porn on his laptop all night. I worked on it with him, and learned how to resolve issues through the whole experience. ", "comment": "So, appareantly my roommates are super ableist. I am living with them since about a month in a supervised living and I knew there will come the point I have to tell them about my schizophrenia (undifferentiated schizophrenia if someone is wondering) and they just started to make fun of me. Put it didn't stopped there, they also don't take any care of my  paroxysm, whenever me or even our supervisors tell them to please be a bit more quiet and turn down their music, they just continue and sometimes even be louder then before.   \nNow, this wouldn't be a huge problem because I am already used to it from my school and parents. But I will have my boyfriend visiting me soon and he is a psychopathic asperger autist. And you only need to talk to him for a little bit to know there is something 'wrong' with him, and he isn't easy to talk and interact with. And I am so scared that there will be a huge collision between my roommates and him when he visits me. Does anyone know a good way to handle that situation, or maybe avoid it completely? I really have no idea...", "post_id": "9dnjjv", "comment_id": "e5jiqjw"}, {"question": "Hey there! How are you feeling today?", "comment": "TMI warning: so today I had diarrhea and now I\u2019m having a panic attack because I\u2019m worried that I\u2019m sick. I\u2019ve had a rough week so it could be from anxiety but idk. I\u2019m also dairy intolerant and I had cheese today but I don\u2019t normaly get it this bad when I have dairy. My stomach doesn\u2019t hurt, I don\u2019t feel sick, I\u2019m not cold or pale but I\u2019m still incredibly anxious. I\u2019m really scared someone help me.  Idk what to do", "post_id": "ao0ixt", "comment_id": "eg0m7v0"}, {"question": "Notebook or some way to get your feelings out of your head and somewhere else. \n\nNecessities! That means anything you need to eat, sleep, breathe, drink (water).\n\nComfort! Shoes, clothes, and comfort objects. And stuff that's personal- a blanket, baby pillow, scarf, extra poofy jacket to hide in, warmth you get the picture.\n\nDistrations. Music is huge. A portable gaming machine. A book (happy books or ones that make you think just not about bad emotions. I love mystery and Sci fi ). A rubix cube. Sudoku. ANYTHING you might find helpful to zone out for a bit\n\nKnow where the exits are. Know where the bathrooms are. Wherever you go, go with the knowledge that safety and support is a phone call away - whether it be a family member, a friend, a loved one, a therapist or counselor or even priest. \n\nPictures of things  that make you happy. Animals. Your pets. Friends. Food. \n\nExercise every morning! It will help you get out of a funk and alter your mindset.\n\nIf I think of more il add them. This has helped me immensely", "comment": "Things have not been going well for me lately.  I've taken the next week off as stress leave and I'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation.  I'd like to make myself an \"emergency\" kit of sorts to get me through. When I'm having a really bad day, it's something I can come to for a bit of help.  I also recognize that this may have to be replenished frequently. \n\nDoes anyone have one of these? What do you keep in it?  Do you have any ideas of what I should put into mine?  I was thinking of making one for a friend at the same time.", "post_id": "2lu90i", "comment_id": "clyd4cx"}, {"question": "If you want to actually teach him that his bad behavior undermines your relationship, you can't make yourself available for abusive conversations.  More importantly, if you want to be happy in life, you can't make yourself available for abusive conversations. Particularly not all-night bitch-fests about things that are beyond present remedy. \n\nIf he thought you were ruining his evening, he could have said something hours ago, if you think his complaints are toxic, you should protect yourself from them in real time, not hours later.  \n\nYou are both making critical errors, but you're only one with the insight to see that the whole dynamic is fucking gross.  \n\nDisengage. Hang up.", "comment": "Hey, Reddit. I don't know where else to turn. I don't have many close friends and most of my friends online are friends of my boyfriend too so I don't want to ask them for advice. I don't want them to think badly of him.\n\nWe're both 25 and met online through a game. He never had a relationship before, I had several. We've known each other for a couple of years but only really close since the start of this year. We met for the first time in august. We're currently in a long distance relationship (1 hour with plane apart) and spend most of the time apart playing games together. I love him so much because he is such a good person, when things are good. He is my best friend. However when we fight, he's starting to show me some really clear signs of emotional abuse and it scares me. I want some advice from someone, I need help to make him realize he has a huge part in our fights.\n\nPretty much all of the time when we fight it's because of some small, pointless thing that got blown out of proportion and grows bigger because he decides to stay angry at me, refusing to see his part in the fight. I will take yesterdays fight as an example since it's almost always the same story: We played games and I got a bit irritated/naggy at myself for performing bad (I understand this isn't fun to listen to, but it doesn't happen often and just few minutes later we were enjoying our time together again, or so I thought). He gave me a lot of shit for this \"bad behavior\" but we had fun after so I thought we were past it. Before bed time we talked and he sounded a bit off so after we hung up I asked if we were okay. He basically tells me I made his night awful and that he has way more fun with his other friends in the game than me (just because of me getting irritated at myself for few minutes, but he will forgive any of his other online friends if they have a bad day and not even mention it).\n\nI didn't understand why he couldn't just let it go, since we had a fun time after and were sweet to each other. He just had to keep exaggerating and making it a bigger deal than it was. We continued to chat for hours, I begged him several times if we can say sorry to each other (not because we necessarily think we're wrong but because we hurt each other), or if we can just agree to disagree, anything. But he stays angry over this tiny thing. I ask if he can forgive me for being grumpy for few minutes about the game earlier in the evening and he says \"I won't forgive you but I won't stay mad\". This is were I get vibes from emotional abuse. I asked him why it bothers him if I \"talk bad\" about my gaming performance and he says he \"hates signs of weakness\". He says he can't forgive people downtalking themselves (something I never do in real life, I'm very confident about my person). He starts writing \"If you ever do something like this in front of my family...\" and threaten me for what he knows is no purpose at all. I kept trying to have us stop fighting, I sent a picture of me where you happened to be able to see I had been crying, writing \"Wish you were in bed with me so I could hug you and make this go away\". Then he just replies \"WTF is this, what am I dating?\", calls me an over emotional drama queen and reminds me how much more fun he has in this game with others than me. To wrap it up, says \"I'm not a nice guy, I never claimed to be\". But he still also seems to truly believe everything is my fault. I feel so belittled, shut down and hopeless.\n\nIf we argue on the phone, he hangs up on me. He shuts me down and silences me every time I'm in a mood that doesn't please him. He tries to suppress me by bringing up things from the past, threatening me about things and calls me delusional if I try to point out what he's doing to me. Please help me, I ran out of words for what to say to him to try make him understand.  I tell him I'm not perfect and I can never be, and that we will have arguments and disagreements, it's normal. Just like I don't expect him to be super energetic and happy every day either. But he claims he doesn't ask for perfection. It's starting to feel like whatever I do it's the wrong thing.\n\nWe have the best time when we don't argue, we both agree on this. I don't want this relationship to end because of his stupid stubbornness and unability to see his mistakes. I want him to understand it's fine to argue in a relationship sometimes, but it's so important to know how to say sorry (something he doesn't do often) and forgive each other so things don't get blown out of proportion... Or just let me know, am I an emotional, delusional drama queen for getting upset about these things?", "post_id": "709aly", "comment_id": "dn1ek2x"}, {"question": "Follow up--how do I deal with the giant wall that is up in my relationship due to the poor decision making from this weekend?  It makes me feel so alone and scared and hopeless.  He's trying really hard to be supportive, but also drawing a hard line in the stand and being intentionally blunt about the problem.  \nI just want to sit here and cry all day.", "comment": "Oof.  I am struggling with the idea that I'm hitting a point that I'm posting here.\n\nAbout me.. I'm in my early 30s.. and I think I have a drinking problem. \n\nI've suffered from anxiety pretty much all my life.  I also had a brief stint with an eating disorder.  And as of today I'm feeling like I've hit the, \"I need to control my drinking\" point just one too many times.  \nEver since I've started drinking, I've periodically (once every couple months) had binge drinking episodes that lead to really bad life decisions.  I often just attributed it to college and partying with everyone else. \nYet, if I look back, there are too many times that I was arguably the most drunk.  A NYE that I puked before midnight.  A party that I punched my friend because she wouldn't let me go for a walk alone. Just feeling embarrassed the next day because I was the drunk one. \nMore recently this has lead to significant issues in my relationships.  I'm a pretty sensitive and emotional person, and when I get drunk, all of that gets amplified times 3.  I've been with my partner for over a year and I love him to bits. But he says when I'm drunk I act like I hate him.  This weekend he had his aha moment where he realized he is afraid of me when I'm drunk, because I hurt him emotionally when I'm drunk.  I pick fights. I push him away.  He's basically said that he's not sure our relationship will make it if I don't get a handle on my drinking. \nI think in his mind he's thinking I can go to moderation.  I want him to be right.  I know a lot of times I really can control my drinking.  Yet, I'm scared.  I'm scared because I have said I would cut back so many times and haven't. \nI'm also scared because my partner and all his friends and family drink pretty regularly, so I'm not sure what will happen if I decide I can't drink at all. \nRight now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.\nSadly I also kind of want to go home from work and have a drink.  I just want to make it all go away. ", "post_id": "43pf6s", "comment_id": "czk4tim"}, {"question": "Any medications or drugs you take, whether prescribed, unprescribed, or illegal, are confidential (at least in the US; other countries can have their own laws).\n\nUnlike what most people here are saying, I disagree that intentional overdose allows breach of confidence. The difference is that if you are still suicidal, you might be hospitalized, and while hospitalization is also confidential, it's often hard to conceal. But the reasons and specifics are still between you and the treating team.\n\nIn any case, that doesn't sound like what happened here. Tell your psychiatrist, and he or she does not report you to a university or to legal authorities.", "comment": "20 years old, Female, 173 cm, 210 lbs, South Asian (Sri Lankan); bipolar II, depression, anxiety, hypothyroidism\n\n​\n\nHi! I have a midterm tomorrow and so the last 3-4 days I did whatever possible to keep myself alert and awake. And so, in the span of 24 hours I unintentionally took 100 mg lamotrigine, 100 mg apo gabopentin, 125 mg synthroid, 800 mg of caffeine (pill form) and 60 mg of adderall XR; which obviously isn't ideal. I had some adverse effects (nausea, dizziness, headaches, chest pain that lasted hours) and I'm supposed to be seeing my psychiatrist in a few days. I want to be open about what happened but I also  want to make sure this isn't going to be reported to anyone and it isn't going to get me into trouble. Thank you!", "post_id": "auggxt", "comment_id": "eh83wtj"}, {"question": "You could try a different one, but if it\u2019s tolerable and maybe helping even somewhat the first choice would usually be increasing further. You are currently taking half the usual maximum dose.\n\nIf it still doesn\u2019t work, there are many other antidepressants. Sometimes another SSRI works when one doesn\u2019t, often without any clear reason. And if not, there are also different classes of antidepressant.", "comment": "Age 27\n\nSex female\n\nHeight 5'7\n\nWeight 125ish\n\nRace Caucasian \n\nDuration of complaint 1.5 years since I started sertraline \n\nLocation germany\n\nCurrent medications 100mg sertraline\n\n-\n\nI've been on sertraline for about a year and a half. I started at 50mg, and after a bit was bumped up to 100mg. \n\nThe good thing is I have very few long-term side effects. When I first started taking it I did get the runs for a day, and the insomnia was brutal, but once my body got used to the sertraline that went away. I'm very happy that I'm on a medication that has zero ongoing side effects.\n\nBut what I'm not sure about is if it's really helping me all that much. I still go through periods of feeling listless and just... Not finding much joy in anything. Everything irritates me, even things I normally enjoy, like reading or listening to music. I slack on cleaning my apartment, on going to school, everything.\n\nI can say my depression isn't as bad as when I first started the sertraline 1.5 years ago. But in a conversation I had recently with my therapist I was talking about how I hate when even the things I love start to feel blegh. She asked how often that happens, and she seemed totally surprised when I said it lasts for weeks or months sometimes. She had thought it happened for maybe a day or two at a time.\n\nI know antidepressants aren't magic pills, which is why I'm not sure if it would make sense to try a new one. Especially when the one I'm on is giving me no side effects anymore. \n\nAre there huge differences in how one SSRI works vs another? I can't tell if I'm expecting too much from the pills, especially since sertraline does help me to *some* degree. Or would it be worth trying something else since I'm still fighting with low moods that last for months?", "post_id": "epom7r", "comment_id": "fekxpek"}, {"question": "When I went to rehab I was furious, I was resentful, and I hated every second of it. It wasn't until about 2 months after that I realized how truly lucky I was to go and how I would not be where I am today had I not gone. ", "comment": "I'm trying to decide the best time to go and I think now is probably the right answer. I've been to AA off and on but I haven't made any progress since last November when I stayed sober for 29 days. I still have my job and I haven't caused any major pain for anyone but I know I can't stay sober without getting help and seriously overhauling my way of living. My life stopped progressing about a year ago and now I'm just crawling through every day. If anyone has any positive or negative experiences about treatment facilities I'd love to hear them.", "post_id": "1enbj0", "comment_id": "ca22oes"}, {"question": " [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/fke0np/i\\_just\\_realised\\_i\\_have\\_lost\\_my\\_sense\\_of\\_smell\\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/fke0np/i_just_realised_i_have_lost_my_sense_of_smell_and/)", "comment": "Hi, using a throwaway as don't want medical stuff associated with main acct. \n\n34F, 140lbs, 5'9\", primary complaint is I can't smell for the last week. Drink occasionally. No smoking or drugs.  I\u2019m taking microgestin (birth control), loratadine and fluticasone.\n\nA week ago I started to come down with a cold. Within a day of starting to feel sick, I kept thinking I smelled vomit\u2014it was like a phantom smell and I kept sniffing my clothes and things around me to figure out what it was. Out of an abundance of caution, I saw a doctor who looked at my symptoms (no fever, ears and throat looked normal, no cough or shortness of breath, just general malaise and head congestion) and deemed it a cold. The next day, I woke up and noticed I couldn\u2019t smell (or, in turn taste) anything: my face lotion, food, etc. all had no smell, and though I had congestion throughout my head (that \u201chead in a fishbowl\u201d feel), I didn\u2019t have a runny or stuffy nose, so I thought this was kind of strange but probably just related to the virus. The only drugs I took were ibuprofen and loratadine. It\u2019s now been a week and I feel totally over the cold aside from some congestion in the back of my head (feels like it\u2019s behind my ears), but my sense of smell/taste hasn\u2019t returned. If I stick my nose in a bag of coffee, I smell nothing. My poor cat got diarrhea and normally I notice the second she uses her litterbox in my tiny apartment, but I didn\u2019t notice for hours. I can get a tiny amount of scent if I directly sniff a strong essential oil, like clove or eucalyptus. Again, though there\u2019s some congestion further back in my head, I can breathe completely normally through my nose. In fact, I almost feel this cold sort of absence of smell there, like when you go outside right after a snowfall. I\u2019ve been reading about post-viral olfactory loss and am freaked out that the virus permanently damaged my olfactory nerves, and per coronavirus I can\u2019t go see an ENT.", "post_id": "fjspza", "comment_id": "fl6s7vx"}, {"question": "Absolutely love his first album.  Really well written.  I've always loved hardcore and punk music.  Was a good way to kind of release some anger/rage.  The fast beats and screaming always kind of got my blood pumping when I felt lethargic and just drained of energy.\n\n-The Web Shrink", "comment": "Cudi has helped me through a lot. I feel like no one I know really gets me however I feel as if Cudi speaks to me through his music, especially his first album ", "post_id": "6x9jj6", "comment_id": "dme7ye9"}, {"question": "Are you working with a general practitioner or a psychiatrist?", "comment": "I haven't experienced and side effects nor any subtle affect on my depression or anxiety. Does this mean this drug probably won't work for me? That I need a stronger dosage? Or just need more time? Perhaps I should ask about trying a different ssri? I mainly have strong anxiety problems. Have been diagnosed with GAD, but mainly have social anxiety and I'm quite certain I have undiagnosed BDD, and I've been diagnosed with MDD. Not sure if different ssris work better with different disorders. I was thinking about asking to try Prozac if I don't have luck with lexapro seeing as it's been around a lot longer.", "post_id": "3foyfp", "comment_id": "ctqr8d9"}, {"question": "POTS? (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)", "comment": "I am 23f, 158cms height, 75kgs weight and Indian. I\u2019m facing this problem since January 2018, but the issue has increased in the past 6-7 months.  When I physically exert, the skin inside and outside my eyes swell. Initially I thought it might be a temperature issue since I used to live in Dubai where summers are extremely hot. However even after moving to Germany it has not stopped. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s some kind of reaction to food or the products I use. I am getting a food allergy test done in a couple of weeks. Every time I try to rule something out, turns out my eyes swell anyway. It\u2019s affecting my day to day life. If anyone has any opinions on this at all, it\u2019d be gratefully welcomed. I\u2019ve been to about 4-5 doctors regarding this in India, Dubai and Germany. Unfortunately, my issue still persists. [eye swelling after physical exertion ](https://imgur.com/a/7afba5L)", "post_id": "btostn", "comment_id": "ep1ezv0"}, {"question": "I\u2019d like to emphasize what u/psychick said but add that you should not use marijuana. If you have had any psychotic symptoms then marijuana is a high-risk drug to use. Please don\u2019t. It will not help.", "comment": "Age: 25\nSex: F \nHeight: 5'1\nWeight: 87lbs\nRace: Asian\nDuration of complaint: a while\nLocation (Geographic and on body):\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): adhd, anxiety, sometimes blood pressure fluctuations, Raynaud's syndrome.\nCurrent medications (if any): xanax .25mg as needed, chlorthalidone 12.5mg\nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example):\n\nHi, it's me again. The girl who said she didn't sleep for 30+ days. After, a couple of weeks after that post, I think I started sleeping at least 2-3 hours a day which is definitely better than how I was before that. I just feel like I'm all over the place. I feel like a bad person and people online call me a manipulator and abusive person. Their were a couple times this week that I have driven to a bridge but was unsuccessful finding parking to walk there and contemplate suicide. I even wrote a letter saying goodbye to my family. People think I'm doing all of this for attention online but I'm serious. I think I was either wrongly diagnosed or have both bipolar and bpd. I'm very impulsive as a person. I don't think I've had a depressive episode after the 30+ days of no sleep. \n\nI don't know if that has to do with my ADHD. I just also feel like it would be better for everyone around me as well as people I've talked to online that I leave this world. I think it would do everyone a favor. I think the reason why the last pshchiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder was because I had a time in the past where I would have a episodes of no motivation during school semesters or the summer. I have flunked so many times because of no motivation and just doubting myself as well as losing jobs due to not wanting to get out of bed or not wanting to go to work. Anxiety has also played a role. \n\nDuring the 30 days of no sleep, I went to the hospital multiple times because of the bad anxiety and sleeping issue. I think the spending issue could possibly be related to both bpd and bipolar disorder because I have not spend so much money like actually maxing out my credits cards all the time. Only time I did this was last month as well as the beginning of this month and last year during my birthday maybe. During last year, I made a post about being potentially schizphrenic because I was extremely terrified of my house and saw ghosts as well as heard things here and there. This year and last year I would hear my name being called at work or home but nobody would say it or nobody was there. I got kicked out of a university last year because my GPA was so bad for 3 semester's. \n\nI would self harm in the my car in the parking lot. I also do that sometimes out of anger, punishment, and sometimes to feel pain for no reason. I also have been on and off with being very hypersexual. I have never had sex before but I've been really frustrated lately. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. Anyway, I'm babbling and am sorry about that. I probably missed a couple things. I would rather thing having borderline personality disorder to be surprising because I don't think I've ever been abused. Also, I forgot to mention during the time of not sleeping for 30+ days and other symptoms I was very irritable and snapped a couple times by breaking some of the items I really cherished. I drive when I'm really upset and sometimes recklessly or I'm like numb or zoned out. That happened yesterday. Almost got into a couple accidents the day I really thought I should end it. \n\nI also forgot to mention that during the 30+ days of no sleep I was hearing and seeing things here and there but nothing like last year. That was the worst time of my life. I would beg my parents to come home because I was so afraid of being home alone and getting attacked by something or someone. I'm not going to lie, I think drugs are poison but at the same time I want someone to help me. I'm just afraid. I feel like I'm losing control of everything. People online that I've talked to think I'm crazy because I overreacted about someone acting like me on my discord account and I thought I was genuinely being hacked and freaking out over it via text. So they banned me. I have really bad anger outbursts but it's usually when im provoked or when I feel like I'm being attacked most of the time or made fun of. I don't think I've been in a depressive episode after the 30 days of no sleep. \n\nAnyway, I'm sorry I'm all over the place. Maybe I'm just an attention seeker. It's what people online tell me but all I want is for someone to help me and card about me. I'm seeing a neurologist another psychiatrist and another appointment at a hospital I think with a therapist in a couple weeks. I just want someones professional opinion on all of this. Am I a toxic person? I'm just frustrated with my entire life and just everything going on. I don't know what to do. I'm trying weed for the first time this week. I went to great lengths to get it because I think maybe it'll fix me.", "post_id": "cw7v6r", "comment_id": "ey8z5ic"}, {"question": "Hey there.. for me, what I really need for my anxiety is to have someone validate and love me while also keeping strong boundaries and setting some containment. It sounds to me like the skipping around to different techniques and the lack of linear concrete tasks was really disregulating for you. \n\nI also think there is some truth, probably, in you taking things to heart that aren\u2019t necessarily that harsh? But nevertheless, you may need to start with someone who is more about unconditional positive regard, so that you can replace your inner critic with a more kind voice and THEN the tough love after that. Tough love can be difficult to take when you\u2019re already making yourself feel like shit - it just feels like piling on. \n\nI\u2019m sorry you had that experience, and I do hope you\u2019ll look around for someone who\u2019s a little more experienced and a little more kind :)", "comment": "(This got long... TL;DR: Walked out of therapist\u2019s office after ~12 weekly sessions that felt inconsistent and disorganized, jumping around to different approaches without going in-depth. I felt ill-prepared to do a task therapist pushed me to tackle. Failed that task, and was met with criticism I felt was unnecessary and tactless. Was told that my anxiety is normal, yet somehow so severe that therapy can not help me unless I am medicated. Hoping to find a therapist who clicks better with me, and make a path of progress.)\n\n\nI\u2019ve heard many times that you gotta work with different therapists and find someone who clicks well with you. Makes sense. Still, this experience of leaving this therapist has me feeling guilty, stressed, and questioning myself, and I just need to get it off my chest.\n\n\nAfter not seeing a therapist for ~1.5 years, I began seeing this doctor weekly a few months ago. My first impression of her was her demeanor, the word \u201cbrusque\u201d comes to mind. I\u2019d never gotten this vibe from a therapist, but figured maybe I need someone a bit tough who won\u2019t coddle me. I expressed to her at our first session that I am seeking help with anxiety and depression, specifically to learn coping mechanisms for when my anxiety impedes me from doing important tasks, like taking steps to move forward in my career. I get overwhelmed, and \u201ccope\u201d by avoiding. I do other tasks that feel productive but avoid the important life stuff. Told her I was interested in CBT, she said great let\u2019s do that. But working with her wasn\u2019t the step by step path that hoped it\u2019d be.\n\n\nSo we start CBT stuff- as homework, I started a journal of negative feelings, recording them, recognizing cognitive distortions. But after a couple of sessions she stops all that and shifts our focus to breathing exercises. Then another time, she says medication is something I should consider, when previously she said medication is more of a last resort if therapy isn\u2019t helping. I'm not against medication, but she knows I\u2019ve tried many in the past that haven\u2019t helped, some with significant side effects, so I'm trying to focus more on therapy now. Around session 8, she says let\u2019s create a \u201cTreatment & Recovery Plan\u201d, something she\u2019s been \u201cmeaning to do with me for a while\u201d.. Then at our last few sessions, she shifts the focus to DBT, and gives me some worksheets, explaining some of it may not apply to me, but that it might be good for mood regulation. I go along with everything- she\u2019s the professional, I want to be receptive to whatever may help. Each time she switches to a new thing she seems to abandon the previous thing, so I get the sense she decided they were not working. I feel I could have benefited from practicing CBT more (and I should have voiced this)\n\n\nDuring our sessions, she learns that I have very low self esteem, I constantly beat myself up, am self-defeating. She asks me about my past, trying to find a reason for my low self esteem. My past isn\u2019t perfect (whose is?) but no outrageous trauma on which to place blame for my mental shortcomings. She insists in a few separate sessions that I just have to stop thinking negatively. I express that having persistent negative thoughts is not a choice I make, and was hoping that therapy would help me learn to cope with them so they are manageable. Her advice is more about having strength of will to overcome these thoughts. I\u2019m like..how though? She actually snapped her fingers to illustrate stopping the bad thoughts. I can\u2019t just flip a switch like that and so I feel I have already failed, am incapable.. worthless. (catastrophizing, black and white thinking)\n\n\nThen at our 2nd-to-last session, the homework she assigned for next time was tackling a task that triggers my anxiety: beginning to build a website (as mentioned earlier, a task to move forward in my career). I express to her that I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m equipped to handle the emotions that arise. She says \u201cYou seem like a functioning, smart person, you have a job. You just have to commit and really push yourself in baby steps. You should have a fire under your ass.. IF this is something you really want,\u201d she says, knowing I have internal battles over whether I really want this career path, if working on it triggers so much anxiety.. But I supposed this was that tough love, something I probably need to hear. My homework is to work on the website for a mere two hours total over the next two weeks. (Normally I see her every week but she was going to be away the following week.)\n\n\nAnyway, I fail. Each time I approached the task, I tried to cope with my anxiety and panic with breathing exercises and CBT logic, but I fell back to my poor coping mechanism of just avoiding it without making notable progress. I do feel like a sham of a person just typing this. Could I have tried harder? Yes. However, I do well in other areas over those weeks (probably to make up for the guilt) such as pushing myself to eat on a regular schedule, pushing harder to do mindfulness meditation/breathing exercises twice daily, and I begin an exercise regimen, hoping these things will help with my anxiety in general. The meditation and breathing exercises are a nice break, but the anxiety comes back in full force afterwards when approaching the task. I am keeping at it, I get that it takes time.\n\n\nSo yesterday I see her for the first time in two weeks. I tell her about eating better, exercising, breathing exercises/meditation. She says great, asks if I put in the two hours on my website and I say no, explain how I tried and failed, and start getting down on myself about it. Now she begins to speak with me in a tone of frustration (or so it truly seemed to me, maybe I have a victim complex, this has me questioning reality). She says she can\u2019t understand why I have such low self esteem, since I have supportive people around me, am physically capable, and function well enough to hold a job. Now I feel myself start to panic- racing heart, shaky limbs, tense muscles. I feel invalidated hearing this. All the time I beat myself up with thoughts like this. I am staring at the floor feeling attacked.\n\n\nI tell her (not for the first time) that I wish I had a reason for my anxiety, but I don\u2019t, and does that mean my feelings are not legitimate? She says \u201cabsolutely not, of course your feelings are legitimate!\u201d Ok\u2026 I have an urge to leave. My legs feel like they might just carry me out of here. She continues, saying that everyone has anxiety and what I am feeling is normal. I try to interject but she continues, saying she feels she is doing a disservice to me if I have this level of anxiety and am not on medication. That I\u2019m not trying hard enough and need to commit more. That I\u2019ve been slacking on the homework, and yet in the same breath recalls back to the CBT journals (??) She reiterates that she feels she\u2019s doing a disservice to me.\n\n\nI feel defeated, I feel like I\u2019m taking crazy pills trying to follow her line of reasoning. I get up and go toward the door while thanking her for her time, apologizing, asking her to please cancel our future sessions. I\u2019m careful to speak quietly and politely, terrified of seeming overly dramatic, I just wanna leave. On my way out the door she said \u201cI\u2019m sorry you feel that way\u201d. \u201cThank you\u201d keeps coming out of my mouth stupidly as I close the door behind me. Part of me feels awful for walking out, like I made her feel like she failed.\n\n\nI exit the building and cry in my car. Going round and round in my head like: How could she be so heartless- No, I\u2019m overly sensitive, incapable of meeting reasonable expectations- I failed, I\u2019ll never get better, what\u2019s the point- No, she didn\u2019t handle it professionally, said things she knows I constantly beat myself up about- Well, she\u2019s right, I\u2019m my own worst enemy, I hate myself.. etc. I calm myself down, call my best friend who kindly lets me vent and we talk for a bit, and then I\u2019m ready to drive home.\n\n\nNow I\u2019m all fucked up.. not sure which of us came up short here. Maybe both of us. Maybe I couldn\u2019t handle the tough love and just want to be coddled, maybe I\u2019m lazy and don\u2019t want to put in effort. But I know I DO want to put in effort. I just want a therapist who will stick to one consistent treatment. Surely that\u2019s reasonable? Someone who will push me to practice skills to create good habits (like the CBT journaling). Who will be understanding when I fail (Is that coddling)? I get enough criticism from myself for failing, I do not need it from a therapist too. Is it unreasonable to want my hand to be held that much? To have my feelings of anxiety be validated, while also recognized as damaging, and learning to manage them? Part of me worries I\u2019m asking too much, wanting to be coddled and tough-loved simultaneously. But part of me is like, no, you'll find an understanding yet firm person to teach and guide you. You deserve to start breaking these chains so you can live better.\n\n\nI really needed to get this off my chest. I feel guilty for taking like two hours to write and edit it, but there\u2019s no need for me to feel that way, because it was therapeutic and now I can wash my hands of it.\n\n\nIf you\u2019re reading this, thank you. If you want to share your thoughts or experiences, please do. Thank you again and hope you have a pleasant day!", "post_id": "8sczkh", "comment_id": "e0z5lfh"}, {"question": "A couple of thoughts come to mind while reading your story. I\u2019m wondering if there is a part of you that feels that you have to be strong for them as the male of the house? (That showing emotions when sad, worried etc., could be a burden on them and shatter the strong, stoic persona).  \n\nThe other thought is wondering if when you have shown emotions how they were received. Did you feel validated and accepted? Or did you perhaps feel like you shouldn\u2019t be showing them or that they were unwelcome (again could be related to thought #1)?  Some it can also be the emotional disconnection (your comment about not having fights, but not having close family moments). It doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t love them, it just sounds like there\u2019s some disconnect. \n\nAt your age and as a teen, it\u2019s a natural part of development to push away from our family on some ways and to feel embarrassed by them or embarrassed by doing things. You\u2019re getting to an age where you realize this isn\u2019t necessary how you want the relationships to be and you\u2019re in the process of making changes from the sounds of things. Keep making the effort in little ways and it will become easier and you will notice a difference. Challenge yourself to let yourself feel a little vulnerable and it will become easier to be more vulnerable as time goes on and you feel safer in doing that.  Continue to do some self reflection around what makes you feel embarrassed and what is behind that: What is embarrassing about it? Where does that embarrassment come from? What would help you to feel less embarrassed? \nWhat are ways you can challenge yourself and sit with that feeling of embarrassment? (The more we can sit with the uncomfortable feelings the less uncomfortable they will become). \n\nYou\u2019ve got this! Don\u2019t shame yourself for how you feel, it makes sense. Keep challenging yourself and every little bit of progress is still progress! Give yourself some compassion friend, we are all a work in progress. :)", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "hk6oaq", "comment_id": "fwrenp4"}, {"question": "\nThis was a major emotional part of your life,  so you are the one who has work to do . If you were hurt , overwhelmed,  or exhausted in this relationship,  you can work on this in therapy.\n\nLike other therapists you have talked to , I don't understand what you will get out of understanding her behavior. Even with a perfect,  spot-on diagnosis,  you felt your boundaries were violated and you felt the relationship was toxic . That is the end of her involvement. \n\nLots of patients discuss important others in their lives,  that is fine. The problem is that you can only work on the person IN THE THERAPY ROOM. Anything else is not a good use of time or energy.", "comment": "Hi\n\nI'm posting here because I've been trying to understand a bit about my partner (now ex) and her behaviour.  We dated for about 1 year, she's 35F I'm 33M, we lived 1 hour apart. I've tried to seek answers from therapists but they have (reasonably) not wanted to diagnose at a distance but thats a problem because I feel I do need a professional to help make sense of some of her behaviours. \n\nAbout me\n\nI think I'm kind and sensitive but a touch reserved so its possible that my reserved emotional expression contributed to problems.\n\nPossibly relevant facts:\n\n\\- We lived an hour apart which meant we generally only saw each other at the weekend although we talked every day for an hour, the distance was a constantly cited issue for her\n\n\\- She gave me a book on C-PTSD to read - she had a very poor relationship with her mother during early childhood and did seek on/off therapy for it but rejects the label C-PTSD\n\n\\- We went out for most of 2019, broke up for 3 months (by me) got back together in early 2020 and then broke up again recently\n\nBehaviours I'm having trouble explaining:\n\n\\- both times the relationship started off amazingly well but 'arguments' started emerging around 2 themes, initially a perception I may have been having an affair and that she would only know if I rang her every night but more latterly - a sense that if we weren't talking every night then she didn't feel loved. by about month 3 (both times we went out) the arguments were chronic - something I've never experienced in any of my other relationships) with her seeming to get upset and triggered as the relationship wore on they seemed to happen every 3 days and I became totally emotionally exhausted. A similar pattern occurred the second time we dated. \n\n\\- She had a tendency to bombard with text messages during an argument - it was like tsunami sometimes 30-40 messages even if I hadn't had a chance to reply (such as I was at work)\n\n\\- She was very fixated on putting dates and times to everything, getting very anxious (lots of messages) if it wasn't confirmed, even if she sent the message during the night\n\n\\- I did speak to one counsellor one thought she had textbook BPD, I suggested to her  she may have this and I'd support her and she became extremely angry and said she was totally insulted and that BPD people couldn't hold down a job whereas she was in a high profile job (she is)\n\n\\-She constantly said she didn't feel loved - she suggested things to improve it like saying I love you more (we did) , talking about each day (we did - hour + each day) etc but nothing seemed to quite do it for her. \n\n\\- She was fixated on moving on together - she said it was the only way she could form a stable attachment but I resisted because the relationship both times seemed to be declining with frequency of arguments.\n\n​\n\nWhy am I posting?\n\nIt's been a major emotional part of my life (1 year ) and I really care for her but I felt it was a totally toxic relationship. I would like some suggestions to make sense of her behaviour. From my reading (with the caveats I know very little and the terms are not definitive) it seems a mixture of C-PTSD/attachment and issues with emotional regulation.\n\nI'd like to understand a bit more about her (I have asked her directly but the issue changes) in order to get some understanding and at some point some disclosure.\n\nAny insights or advice would be welcome. I really care for her but had to remove myself from the relationship - Why did she behave the way she did? If she's already had therapy how does she move on?", "post_id": "gpcn44", "comment_id": "frlvgzt"}, {"question": "I also have struggled with mental health issues which I tried to self-medicate. I got sober in Marijuana Anonymous and it saved my life. You can check out their website for more information and to see if there are meetings in your area:\n\nhttps://www.marijuana-anonymous.org\n\nThere are also online and phone MA meetings every day. Here on Reddit check out r/leaves, they get the weed thing too.", "comment": "Hi everyone, I do not know if this is the place to post this to sorry if it's in the wrong place or it's long winded, but I just want to give context...\n\nI have many mental health issues, including bipolar disorder, PTSD, and anxiety. My family has a long history of alcoholism and addiction. Recently, I have noticed my marijuana smoking to be more erratic than usual. I have never had a problem before. But I've smoked everyday, up to 3-4 times a day for about 3 months now, and just smoking more and more because my tolerance is getting so high. Usually when my tolerance starts to get high I just stop smoking entirely for a few months, no problem.\n\n But this time it's different. I cant stop. I tried to replace it with cigarettes, cigars, vapes to no avail. When I tell myself I'm stopping, that time was the last time, I immediately have very strong cravings. Most of the time I can't stop myself at all, I end up making some excuse. \n\n I'm worried if I stop I will manage to replace it with something much worse (e.g. alcohol, Xanax). I am also worried about having to stop completely due to tendency to addiction, as I do use marijuana for severe pain because I am allergic to opioids, as well as PTSD because I cannot be perscribed benzos due to the bipolar disorder.\n\n I think the reason cigars and vaping didn't help curb my cravings (as they usually do) because this time I am no longer smoking for fun or for one of my medical issues, I am smoking because I am very depressed and going through a really rough time right now, and I'm doing it to feel numb. So if I haven't smoked, I feel the pain. \n\nSo now I'm pretty certain I'm catching potential substance abuse early. Knowing my mental state + family history it could easily spiral out of control if I'm not careful. I feel so scared and uncertain and I have no idea what to do. \n\nI do NOT have a good support system at all, and I can barely take care of myself due to a horrible combination of mental illness, physical disability, and being a college student. So already barely being able to function and feeling like now I need to tackle another issue I've created for myself is very overwhelming. \n\nI have no idea what to do in this situation and I am feeling very scared and I guess I just would like any kind of advice, guidance, tips, tricks, resources, anything to put me on the track going up...\n\n\nTL;DR: Caught substance abuse early. Need help stopping it now and making sure it doesn't happen again in the future. ", "post_id": "7z0dp2", "comment_id": "dukzc4b"}, {"question": "she saw a bad therapist.   shop around; you'll find a great one.\nhttps://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/?tr=Hdr_Brand", "comment": "My girlfriend and I met during a networking conference in October 2015. We ended up working in different areas of the same company and starting on the same day. I'm having a great experience in a really cool area. She had a nightmare of a boss and quit 6 months into the job.\n\nWe get along incredibly well and I love her more than I ever imagined loving anyone. However, she and I both value our professional life highly. She is a very hard worker, and very smart (graduated 2nd in her class at a prestigious school). It had been her dream to work for a large company forever. She's kept spreadsheets of the best companies to work for since she was 15, and my company was always one of her top picks. After leaving, she went into an awful job, quit, and is now working for a smaller company. Her job is not the worst, but she is extremely unhappy about the entire situation, and feels as if she threw away years of her life preparing for something that hurt her, and sent her back a couple of years in terms of where she is professionally.\n\nShe cries more than once a day about it (usually by herself) and though I have tried multiple times to talk to her, I can't stand seeing how much self-harm she does by holding on to the belief that one can only be happy professionally at a large corporation. Her family holds this belief, and seeing me grow professionally in her old company doesn't help. \n\nEvery time I try to talk to her about the issue, we end up having a very emotional argument and I feel like I'm not helping her. \n\nWhat can I do? I don't want to break up with her, but seeing her this way is bringing me down daily. At the same time, I know that feeling is very selfish, so I desperately want to help her. \n\nShe is very dismissive of help. She has seen a therapist, and a career coach and they both folded in and essentially said they didn't know how they could help her.\n\nHelp me help her, please ", "post_id": "5rr2y3", "comment_id": "dd9liut"}, {"question": "Ouch.  That's the worst.", "comment": "Dear sis, \n\nI had a lovely time at your wedding. The choice of Long Islands for your 'Recommended drink' at the open bar ensured that everyone had a drunken blast, especially after the bottles of wine that we killed. When the DJ started playing 'Africa' by Toto and the Maid of Honor literally howled (like a wolf) in excitement, I knew this was a treat. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect time, it was fantastic.... but I need to talk to you about my date, Rebecca. \n\nI know. Please, don't interrupt, sis. You've told me a number of times already. \"You don't need to find another girl, Greg,\" you said to me with a slight slur on St. Patrick's Day. Your husband helpfully added: \"Put a ring on it, Greg. You don't need to look anymore.\" All of your friends adore her, as they've told me like a billion times. \n\nAnd yes. Rebecca IS a keeper. She's absolutely drop dead gorgeous; her curves run into that perfect hourglass shape that you see on models. And the best part? She fucking rocks. She has the most inappropriately vulgar sense of humor that, well, to be honest, matches with mine perfectly. She has a deep throated laugh that infects a room and seems completely unbecoming of such a beautiful and petite dirty blonde. All in all, you're right. She is pretty perfect for me. \n\nExcept, there's this one little thing. \n\nShe's a lesbian, sis. \n\nI know. She told the best man that \"We had been secretly dating for three years.\" Sis, she was HAMMERED. Like, absolutely smashed. We had shared a bottle of wine between the two of us, not counting those long islands... she always was a bit mischievous. And I thought it was hilarious at the time... but not anymore. The family keeps asking me about her sis and so do your friends. And I'm sorry but it's not funny now. It's just sad.\n\nYou see the other thing? I do love her. I absolutely love the shit out of her. I love spending time with her and talking to her. I love drinking with her, and watching TV with her. When I'm with her, it's like the empty puzzle pieces in my brain are filled in with fuzzy spots of happy. We match. \n\nThat's how it is, sis. I'm sorry. She fills all my gaps but I can't ever fill hers. Please stop asking about her. Some things are better left alone. \n\nWith love, \n\nYour brother", "post_id": "1oko5e", "comment_id": "cctalyc"}, {"question": "An additional 300 mg of Seroquel in the morning isn\u2019t very dangerous. That\u2019s a potentially prescribed dose. The most likely effect is being very sleepy during the day until it wears off.", "comment": "I take 300mg of Seroquel at night and 150mg of Welbutrin in the morning. Today, I accidentally took my Seroquel instead of the welbutrin...\n \nDoes anyone know what I should do? What's in store for me? Can I just sleep it off.\n\n16, 5'8ft, 250lbs, female, don't smoke", "post_id": "f9aogd", "comment_id": "fiqigby"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve had depression since I was eleven.  It\u2019s really hard to live with but with therapy, medication, and support from loved ones we can do it.  There is so much to life.  ", "comment": "Mine started 6 years ago, I want to kill myself because this girl I love which was the last thing I had to live for won't come out anymore. \n\nEveryday is a struggle and I feel physically sick of the thought of never getting this girl and the thought of having to go through another day of pain and suffering.\n\nAll I want is a normal life like others around me, I want to be able to go out with friends and this girl and be happy.\n\nI want to live but not in this way only with a girlfriend who loves me. \n\nPlease let me know your story, I'm so low right now it hurts.", "post_id": "9puzea", "comment_id": "e84fufa"}, {"question": "if it's defined as exclusive, he should be paying more attention. rule of thumb:: if you want to be married and there's no plan after a year, it's likely never to happen.", "comment": "I met my current boyfriend 11 months ago. Initially he did not want to be exclusive and I forced the issue for awhile until I gave up and left him for approximately a week. He came back to me wanting to start an exclusive relationship. \n\nIn June 2016 we became exclusive and slowly progressed. He wanted to take things extremely slow. There are certain aspects of my relationship that scream progression.  He wants to meet my family. Yet I feel used. \n\nI feel like he comes in and out of my apartment. Lives freely without the intent to make me more. I feel like I'm just someone he is with in the meantime. I feel that our relationship is simply him having a good time. \n", "post_id": "5msdi9", "comment_id": "dc60lqk"}, {"question": "I have some experience with sensorimotor which is a related modality. I find the body oriented stuff really really useful because there is some stuff that words just don\u2019t touch. I\u2019d love to do a more formal course of sensorimotor as a patient one day. ", "comment": "It was recently suggested by my therapist, and I wanted to see if anyone had any success or lack thereof with this kind of treatment. Thanks", "post_id": "82xawh", "comment_id": "dvdrqaw"}, {"question": "Go you. Booze is so far from the treats we deserve. I think we are all aware of that....whatever our crazy brains try to tell us sometimes. ", "comment": "I told myself that on **Day 70** I would treat myself. I won't, I'll treat the children who had to put up with my drunken nonsense! So today I'll nip to the shop on the way home and fill a basket with their favourite things (not too much, mind)\n\nMe? I'll have an early night with a good book and a mug of Horlicks :D", "post_id": "9evjxz", "comment_id": "e5rxuso"}, {"question": "Headaches that wake you from sleep aren't always serious, but they are cause for concern. You should make an appointment with a doctor sooner rather than later, and the ER wouldn't be overkill if you start having any other symptoms.", "comment": "F, 29, 260lb \n\nI\u2019ve had a headache for 4 days. It\u2019s mostly a dull ache and kind of everywhere. Especially behind my eyes and at the back of my head. Last night it woke me up while I was sleeping 3 times, but during the day it goes down to a manageable level. This was a bit concerning to me because usually when I have a headache it gets better when I sleep. I\u2019ve never gone to the doctor for a headache before, I usually just wait them out. Sometimes I have had headaches that have lasted several days, but I just feel like this one is worse and my head feels kind of foggy. At what point should I see a doctor? ", "post_id": "941yuf", "comment_id": "e3ho67l"}, {"question": "find her a great therapist  psychologytoday.com", "comment": "Hi guys,\nMy mom is a very warm and caring person but she and my dad just don't get along.  I have always been her confidant and when she is lonely she talks to me and pours her emotions out. I never liked this role- I understood being there for her, but many times I don't feel comfortable in my role.  I feel like her loneliness and lack of connection with my dad makes her seek that in me and it is sometimes quite awkward and uncomfortable.  She's not always aware and I know she means well but it just puts me in a weird place.\n\nIt's just that my mom never learned to understand and accept herself so I always feel like there's a lack of security there- as opposed to being the together one she's often seeking reassurance and there's a clear lack of self definition and confidence.  \n\nHow do I be there for her without having to play the role of the man in her life? \nIt becomes even tougher because I'm trying to establish relationships with other women and I feel like they can sense something is up..\n\nFurthermore, I feel this subtle competition with my dad-- feels like some oedipal shit-- I don't understand it but at the end of the day it feels wrong", "post_id": "69f6a5", "comment_id": "dh69r80"}, {"question": "I think you need to talk to your therapist about how unsatisfied you are and name your specific concerns.  She may be able to provide more rationale for her approach or more information about her long term plan for your treatment.\n\nIf she is unable to address them, I would find a different therapist, and discuss with that person during the first session what you feel your needs are and what their approach would be.  You may want to look for somebody with specific expertise in treating trauma if you feel that your childhood experiences are playing a big role.  A good therapist will be able to explain to you clearly what their theoretical approach is, what the goals would be, and what results you should expect (although of course things change as the therapy progresses).\n\nThis is a good article on choosing a therapist: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/14/key-questions-to-ask-when-choosing-a-therapist/\n\nIt's really important to find a good fit, somebody whose style works for you and who has experience working with the kinds of issues that you are dealing with.", "comment": "My life since early adolescence has been a struggle. My home life as a kid was awful, including so much verbal & emotional abuse at the hands of my batshit mom & alcoholic stepdad as well as sexual abuse from another kid at one point. I spent years self harming, binge drinking and eating, and attempting suicide. I met a boy and now I'm a bit happier. Happy enough to try and get help. My GP gave me an SSRI and told me to book a therapist so I can stop the meds soon. My therapist told me to try breathing exercises.\n\nMy initial reaction to my therapist is anger. I don't think my problems are as simple as breathing, mindfulness. I've tried those methods independently and while they can help, they are not a cure. This SSRI is helping for now, but I don't want to go back to the life I was leading before. Even with my SO, even with the antidepressant, life is a struggle for me. I'm tired of struggling. What do I do? I feel like I want an actual diagnosis or a root cause, but my therapist is saying she sees no personality or mood disorder. \n\nHere are some of my symptoms for reference:\n\n* dissociation/depersonalization/derealization\n* panic attacks\n* constant anxiety over 1 billion little things\n* low self esteem \n* self hatred\n* suicidal thoughts\n* racing thoughts\n* insomnia at times, sleeping too much at others\n* inability to keep to a schedule\n* brain fog\n* cant enjoy anything\n* short attention span and memory \n* constantly tired\n* paranoia \n* super impulsive at times \n* self destructive urges\n* hypersensitivity \n* extremely insecure\n\nHelp.\n\n**TL;DR** my GP gave me an SSRI on the condition I go to therapy, my therapist thinks all I need is the power of positive thinking and mindfulness coping skills. I don't agree and feel there's something deeper.", "post_id": "4nnyvc", "comment_id": "d45gixm"}, {"question": "Go for it! It's always fun to catch up with old friends. \n\nThere is a chance that she won't pick up, so be prepared to leave a voicemail or text saying something like \"Hey! It's so-and-so, I was randomly looking at my yearbook and saw that you left your number so I thought I would see how you were doing, you can call me back if you want!\"\n\nThere's also a chance that she won't want to call back, or never get around to it, or whatever, as well. Which is sad, but it happens. Sometimes we just lose touch with old friends. But if that does happen, you'll be right back where you started anyway, so I don't think it would hurt to try.", "comment": "So I'm a sophomore in HS currently, and I was looking back at my middle school yearbook. I then saw and remembered that one of my female friends (I wasn't dating her or anything, we were just friends) wrote \"Call me baby! xoxo -Maya\" with her phone number. (I didn't own a phone until the last few months of middle school.) After middle school she went to a different public school in our area and I naturally forgot about her until recently. I start missing her, and I know her phone number, but here are some things I am concerned with.\n\n1. Since she doesn't know my phone number yet, what if she classifies my number as spam? Then she would end up blocking me without even knowing that was me.\n2. I'm just worried. You know that nervous feeling you get when you text/call your old friend for the first time in years? (We've been 1 and a half years apart)\n\nAny advice is greatly appreciated.", "post_id": "e6jwt0", "comment_id": "f9r2a52"}, {"question": "That's an accurate pictures. There are lots of wires on you, and there is someone on duty, although he or she is more likely to be browsing Reddit than watching you sleep unless there's something specific to watch. It's probably not the most comfortable sleep of your life, but unless you're insomnia is truly terrible you'll fall asleep eventually and get some data. And if you don't sleep at all, that's data too.", "comment": "Hello! I am a 20yo male who has a pretty long history of insomnia, so my psychiatrist recommended that I get a sleep study done. What happens during one?\n\nIn my mind, I'm picturing all sorts of wires stuck to me while somebody is in the next room, just watching me sleep. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is, so I find it hard to imagine sleeping like that. Maybe I've just seen too many doctor shows \ud83e\udd37\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\n\nThanks in advance!", "post_id": "8n5gpk", "comment_id": "dzt2j04"}, {"question": "Well done. Onwards and upwards.", "comment": "I\u2019m so proud, I\u2019ve got my one month chip from AA, I\u2019m still on track for 90 meetings in 90 days, and I\u2019ve even been asked to do peer mentoring at the local drug and alcohol centre!\n\nI can\u2019t quite believe the changes that have taken place in me and in my life in such a short space of time, it\u2019s been like a whirlwind. I will never know why Monday 21st May 2018 was the day I decided enough was enough, but I can only have faith that my life is meant to take a better path than the one I was on for 20+ years. It\u2019s a rollercoaster, and I\u2019ve got a long journey ahead of trying to deal with my emotions now, but a bad day sober is better than any day drinking.\n\nKeep going everyone, we\u2019ve got this! IWNDWYT XX", "post_id": "8sqjjd", "comment_id": "e12ioik"}, {"question": "Chiming in to what everyone else says I think it might be good to look at physical illness- being sick can take mental things to a whole different level", "comment": "It is currently 7am and my boyfriend has just fallen asleep so I\u2019ve decided I need to identify what the hell just happened. Just to give some insight on him, he\u2019s the youngest of seven boys, has ADHD, is impulsive and extremely childish. But then he\u2019ll have these episodes where he just gets all philosophical and existential. He\u2019s like a little baby, as I see it, pretending to be an adult. His dad was emotionally and physically abusive to him as a kid, and his brothers used to beat him up and make fun of him. He\u2019s very outgoing and extroverted, but he doesn\u2019t tell anyone his deep inner feelings but me. \n\nI visited him last night to just check in on him and found him in bed, but not asleep. He\u2019s always had really bad insomnia. But recently he hasn\u2019t been sleeping at night. He waits until the sun comes up and goes to sleep and then wakes up at 4pm. I\u2019m not questioning that though. \n\nBut he turned to me then when I went into his room and sat on his bed. He said he\u2019s been so tired. So drained. He doesn\u2019t leave his bed. He wants to but he can\u2019t. And then he started crying. I left him lay where he was. He said how he doesn\u2019t have any energy. That he\u2019s taking all his vitamins and he sleeps a lot but he\u2019s so tired and lethargic and when he tries to sleep he can\u2019t. That he\u2019s stuck in a revolving door. His cries broke into sobs and I embraced him. \n\nThat calmed him down but then he started breathing heavy and broke away and kept out of the bed, banging his fists and kicking the wall. He was screaming. It was like a fit of rage. And then he would cry. And then just go right back to screaming and kicking. He was breathing so heavy, at this point he was gasping for air but he was so full of rage. He would scream this incoherent bits about something eating him away. Or why was he like this, or what was happened to him. He started saying \u201cget out! Get out!\u201d And I stood up to walk out, but then he fell to the ground and started sobbing. So I went back to him and helped him onto his feet and then he started hyperventilating again.\n\nHe was pacing back and forth, momentarily banging his fist or head against a wall or kicking his wall. He started rambling nonsense about what he was feeling, and I\u2019ll try to sum it up; \u201cI feel so trapped, it\u2019s eating at me, it\u2019s killing me, but I don\u2019t know what it is. It\u2019s killing me from the inside and leaving a husk of my flesh. I\u2019m just a zombie, and nobody will notice because it won\u2019t kill me. It will torture me forever and I can\u2019t do anything about it.\u201dAnd he was pacing, and running his hands through his hair. And he would have two second intervals of sobbing and then would go back to yelling and then cry some more. He looked terrified throughout the whole thing. \n\nI can\u2019t tell you what I was doing, because I genuinely don\u2019t know. I was so overwhelmed with what he was saying and doing. I felt terrible, but I didn\u2019t want to intervene to make it worse. I went to hug him to calm him down and he just swore and started hyperventilating again. \u201cNobody loves me\u201d \u201cno, I love you\u201d \u201cfuck off\u201d. We\u2019d have those exchanges as he paced and then seconds later he would cry and say how sorry he was. \n\nHe would have weird swings of perspectives. \u201cIt\u2019s so hot in here.\u201d And then he\u2019d crack a window. \u201cIt\u2019s fucking freezing\u201d and he\u2019d jump up and down. \n\nHe said something that insulted me, i think he called me washed up or something, and then put his hands over his mouth and threw himself against a wall crying. I took that opportunity to go to him. As usual, he started breathing heavy again but instead of letting him go I just whispered to him and he calmed down. I told him he was probably exhausted and we laid down in the bed. He started squirming because he got too hot so I took of all the blankets accept for one and wrapped it around him. I told him to poke his feet out because then he\u2019ll cool down, and he did that and then was out like a light.\n\nI don\u2019t know what happened. I think it may have started out with an existential episode he was having and then something snapped but I don\u2019t know. I want him to be okay. Does anyone have a clue about what just occurred.\n\nI looked up a lot of stuff on the internet and mania seems to have popped up. Does this sound like mania to you guys?", "post_id": "chmgqe", "comment_id": "euwaes7"}, {"question": "You'll be fine. Klonopin might accentuate intoxication, but if you just have a little bit to drink you might feel it more but won't pass out and stop breathing.", "comment": "So at about 4 today I took a .5mg klonopin as I was feeling really really anxious. Fast forward five hours later I\u2019m at this 4th of July celebration and had a beer and half, before it hit me I took a klonopin. I\u2019m definitely not going to drink anymore. I\u2019m 5\u201910 about 160 and hold my alcohol normally very well. Given the fact that I stop right now, I should be ok right?? Drank about 4 bottles of water prior if that helps\n\nEdit: I know people do way worse but I have pretty terrible health anxiety (hence the klonopin) which is why I\u2019m asking lol", "post_id": "8w6jja", "comment_id": "e1t3n4u"}, {"question": "It would be hilarious if the counselor was an aspie failing at making a tongue in cheek joke. ", "comment": "For the record, I have zero history with violent behavior, and this was my first time talking to him. I went to see a counselor because I was having some difficulties with a teacher who refused to grade my exam because my handwriting was too sloppy. We were talking about my academical career in general, and as soon as he found out I had Asperger's he dropped that insult on me.\n\nWhat. The. Fuck.\n\nWhy do people think Asperger's makes you violent? Why the Hell does anyone think it's okay to talk to someone like that?! It's one thing when people use Asperger's and autism as an insult, it's a whole other thing when people seriously think that having Asperger's makes you a violent psychopath.\n\nI mean... fuck! I'm supposed to be the socially maladjusted one here. Why do so many people who know I have Asperger's thinks it's okay to treat me as a child, a moron, or a deranged psychopath? This is exactly why I keep my condition a secret.", "post_id": "26dx2s", "comment_id": "chqgqgs"}, {"question": "Just show her this post: \"Once I heard her favorite song I immediately noticed her tits, but my friend said dibs no cutsies.\"\n\nIt'll solve everything. ", "comment": "Guys/gals I'm really struggling here and would love some advice. The story is long and a bit bumpy but here goes. \n\nFor ease of storytelling let's call her Rachel, no comment on any of you Rachel's out there I'm sure you're wonderful. \n\nA little profile of me, if you're curious. I'm an ENTJ \"Commander\", and I'm very motivated to get girls. I'm also a bit ADD, but have tended to fall in love HARD in the past, which worked out quite poorly. Since a little bit of particularly bad depression coinciding with the most recent breakup, I swore off long term dating going into college, and got a lot better at the shallower side of relationships. \n\nFirst off, we're both sophomores in college, but we met in freshman year. At orientation, no less. Our orientation leader asks us our favorite song as a way to get to know each other, and I'm immediately attracted to her choice. And she's super cute in that girl-next-door kinda way, except probably prettier than you're thinking. Now, I typically would have immediately at least said hi, but I wasn't the only guy interested- my best friend and roommate, a guy who to this day I don't understand why is single, saw and called dibs (yes, we do this) and I let him take his shot. I mean, I'm coming to freshman year of college. It wasn't like I wasn't gonna have options. \n\nSo my roommate and I have our typical first couple weeks at college for a freshman. For maybe the first time in my life I know more girls than I can handle, and I'm going a little bit crazy. I'm sure you all know the feeling. My roommate and Rachel are dating a bit, feeling and fooling around an actual relationship. Being my roommates girl, I have casual conversations with her that feel quite flirty, but I consistently walk away cuz he's my best friend. But then he breaks it off because of what he sees/thinks I have, and I don't see Rachel for a couple months.\n\nI see her one day at a dining hall and she's gorgeous. It's been awhile, my roommate has almost forgotten her (he initiated the breakup) and I decide to walk up to her, and got her number. We meet up again for dinner one night, and it's great, but then my guilt kicks in and I go sorta radio silence.\n\nI'm getting drunk one night just with my friends when I get a text asking me to come to a bar with her. I'm fairly intoxicated, and go to the bar. What followed is one of the best nights out of my life, as we danced and made out and had a wonderful time, eventually passing out on her friends couch. We get up the next morning and go out separate ways. \n\nAfter that night, we talk a bit more but busy lives get in the way and it's some time before we see each other, but a similar situation occurs. Except this time, instead of a bar it's her room, and we hook up for the first time. \n\nAnd so we become FWB for a while, and the sex is frankly amazing. However, a month or so in she agrees to go to formal with a friend of a friend, and I think \"ok we're not really a thing, she's free to do how she likes/who she likes\" but the week before formal passes without me talking to her- I just feel awkward and don't have anything to say. \n\nWhen she gets back, you could hear the incoming bomb. \"We need to talk\" is all she would say. We meet, and initially I assume everything is ok, but she quickly dissolves into tears and berates me for not talking to her and talking about some other guy who can give her what she needs. It's a mess, but we both walk away from it. \n\nA week goes by and I've honestly been thinking about her a lot. We had great chemistry and the way she broke up with me had me feeling pretty shitty about myself. But she texts me one night out of the blue, all flirty, and we hook up that night without much talking. It turns out her other boy didn't pan out, and another mess plays out. \n\nWe start dating after that conversation, as I'm legitimately too worked up and invested at this point to do otherwise. And it's great, mostly because her previous experience was really really bad in dating and she tries really hard to be right for me. We've had some great times together and I tried to be there for her as much as I can. \n\nBut I am constantly plagued with the thought and need to break it off with her. I know for certain our lives are headed in very different directions, and I was never looking for a relationship in the first place. I got too emotional early and then too invested and the L word has been cut free far too soon, and I know she's very invested. The longer I wait the more I feel like it's going to explode, because she gets more invested and I guess I am too weak to be level with her. One of the things that bothers me most is how hard she tries for me, which I appreciate deeply but also feel like it prevents me from knowing who she actually is. She's been in long term relationships before, and I sometimes get the sense that she has them because she needs to be loved and not because she loves the guy. This is a college relationship- we don't even really know ourselves well enough to love another person. And above all I don't want to be in a long term relationship, for so many reasons.\n\nBut on the flip side, she is a very rare, beautiful girl inside and out. She makes me laugh, she's passionate, artistic and has a way about her that makes you want to lift her up. She's dealt with some really bad circumstances growing up and currently, and I want to be there for that. She makes me feel good and I like her a lot. \n\nEverything would be perfect if she were my best friend and not my girlfriend.\n\nSo help me Reddit, because my indecision is killing us\n\nShould I stay or should I go? ", "post_id": "6aam70", "comment_id": "dhd22d5"}, {"question": "you have to try and get her to clarify where she's at", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "5q1j30", "comment_id": "dcvk9mx"}, {"question": "Is she... sick or something?  Sounds too weird to be true.", "comment": "I am tired. So fucking tired of this roommate of mine. She has lived with me for 2 months and it has been a living hell the entire time. I hate to even be awake when she's awake. I need to make a list of all the things I dislike about her in hopes that it will help me feel a bit better. Here we go. \n\n* Odd sleeping schedule. She will stay up until like 7AM and then get up at like freakin 5PM. She works from home (if you call it work she makes like 10 dollars a day) so she can work whenever but the fact that my lights are on 24/7 because of her weird ass sleep schedule annoys me. Which leads to my next complaint. \n\n* She is driving all my bills up. I took on a roommate so I could save money for a new car. This chick takes 45 minute showers, leaves lights and her pc on 24/7. She is wasteful when it comes to food as well but she has food stamps so that's her problem I guess. But anyone who will open a thing of lunch meat and then sniff it the next day to make sure it's still good is really fucking stupid. You JUST opened it. Doesn't matter though because she'll throw it away after it's been open for just 24 hours. Ridiculous. \n\n* She's really dumb. Like not intelligent at all. She's 30 years old and doesn't know how to do basic things like open a bank account, use the washer/dryer, use the oven, cook a hamburger. Things that are really common sense. She's just not book smart as well. Her vocabulary is very limited. However...\n*  She talks ALL THE TIME. She comments on the smallest thing my cats do, what's going on outside. She can't just tell a story she has to drag it out for like 5 minutes. Everything is funny to her. I can't have a conversation with anyone else in my house without her butting in. I'm NOT talking to you! Why are you putting in your two cents?!\n* She's lazy. The only thing she will do is dishes when I write on the board that it's her turn. She will not wipe down a kitchen counter, clean the bathroom (her hair is all over my bathroom sink right now and the bathroom trash is running over with her 200 pads/panty liners). It's like she's not going to do anything until I tell her to. I'm not her mother so this thought pisses me off so badly.\n\n* She thinks it's okay to just not have rent on time. She has the money to pay her part of rent right now but she thinks she should have a few more days to make more money so she doesn't have to spend what she has now. Tomorrow will not be pleasant for her because I'm going to demand she give me all the money she owes or she's out the door. She will sit at her computer on Facebook or tumblr all day but she won't make her goals with her job. \n\n* She has no goals for the future. She just mooches off me and the government. She lived with her parents until the age of 30 and is just content with her food stamps, no driver license and 10 dollar a day job. When I kick her out (which will happen in the next few months I'm sure) she'll go right back to living with her parents and doing nothing all day long.\n\n* She sits at her desk and stares at me. I feel like when I'm in the same room with her she has a damn staring problem. It's creepy though there are more pressing issues than that. It's just annoying.\n\n* Back to the food. She will use my food without asking. She went through 3 gallons of milk by herself in less than a month. That is insane to me. I don't get food stamps so that is coming out of my pocket. \n\n* She goes through a 24 pack of toilet paper in a week. I have stopped sharing it with her because of this. She currently has half a roll that I so graciously let her have until she gets more. \n\n* She NEVER leaves the house. She is either sleeping or sitting in front of her computer. Never even goes out on the porch or anything. \n\nSigh. I'm sure there are a ton of other things I can't stand but that's all I can think of right now that stands out.", "post_id": "221pws", "comment_id": "cgir168"}, {"question": "I understand exactly how you feel, I often feel the same way.  Don\u2019t give up on yourself.   You have value and someone will see that.  Maybe put yourself out there and start meeting new people.  ", "comment": "My whole life no one has ever thought I was anything even remotely special. Not one person. I've had very few friends and no boyfriend. I don't know what to do. My life is pretty much at a complete dead end. It's too late now for me to have any of the things I've wanted for so long. ", "post_id": "araqh2", "comment_id": "eglulxt"}, {"question": "Thankfully- HIV is pretty hard to transmit. Even if your friend had been HIV infected- that casual contact you had wouldn't put you at risk. Basically- she would have to be positive with an open cut, and touch you in an area where you have a fresh cut- and even then it isnt likely to transmit.\n\nInstead of googling diseases, maybe you should google a good local therapist?", "comment": "I'm an OCD sufferer with a horrible amount of anxiety around my fear of contracting HIV. I've had the fear for a couple of years now. It comes and goes based on situations I feel I'm at risk. I was at a party last night and I did a hit from a joint and afterwards I realized my friend who passed me it had a little dried blood on her fingers from a cut. I immediately began having that stomach turning feeling and thought, oh god what if she has it and I got it? She did a hit before me and I was second in the circle.\n\nLater that night my panic attack set in and I told her my fear and told me she's clean etc and calmed me down. She is a good friend of mine and she definitely isn't someone who sleeps around or anything.\n\nI just wanted to ask for a little help and reassurance (I hope) and maybe some info on how likely it would be that transmission would happen etc. if I start googling I'll send myself into another panic attack. Help me reddit. :( I feel pretty alone in this.", "post_id": "s9ief", "comment_id": "c4g0vji"}, {"question": "When I know I\u2019m about to relapse, I try to reduce acid damage to my throat by taking an antacid (like tums) before purging.\n\nI\u2019m not a doctor, though- Just someone on their own journey to recovery.", "comment": "I\u2019m not sure if this has already been posted or if there\u2019s a rule against this but this is something that\u2019s really helped me survive through some of my darkest times. I\u2019ve been to a lot of treatment centers and they never really teach you about harm reduction. It\u2019s always focused on quitting, the thought of relapse is hardly entertained and what I\u2019ve learned through many years of addiction is you can\u2019t make somebody stop until they\u2019re ready. So here are my tips to potentially keep you safe or even save your life; some of these things have literally saved my own. \n\n-BODY ARMOR. If you\u2019re throwing up a lot and feel dizzy, light headed etc make sure you are replacing what you\u2019re losing. There\u2019s a drink called Body Armor and it\u2019s like Gatorade but it actually has electrolytes. It has 80% of your daily potassium in 4 servings (an entire large sized bottle). If you can\u2019t find this, pedialyte is a better option than Gatorade. I really encourage getting the regular ones and not the lite but if you absolutely can\u2019t do the calories, they make low cal options too. *apple juice is another good option. \n\n-ORAL CARE. I\u2019m sure we all know not to brush our teeth immediately after purging. Use mouthwash if you need to. I had a dentist recommended swishing with baking soda after purging, however, do not brush with baking soda. It\u2019s abrasive. If your teeth are damaged avoid whitening tooth pastes and use something for sensitive teeth. I wish I took better care of my teeth while I was Bulimic. I have super jagged, small teeth as a result. \n\n-PURGE FREQUENCY. This is something I did a lot. I\u2019d purge, drink water, purge, drink water. It was my way of making sure everything got out. If you can, purge ONE time per session if possible. Purging is obviously dangerous but purging over and over again can be deadly and increases the risk of hospitalization.\n\n-KNOW WHEN TO SEEK HELP. If you have tried replacing fluids/electrolytes yourself and don\u2019t feel better by the next day (dizzy, light headed, fatigued, palpitations, seeing stars etc) go to the hospital. Ideally you want to tell them the truth but if you can\u2019t, tell them you\u2019ve been sick and have not been able to hold down fluids. They\u2019ll give you fluids and check your blood. I went in for stomach pain and found out my potassium was critically low, near heart attack levels. It\u2019s also a good idea to get regular blood work done. I know some people don\u2019t have health insurance, but if you REALLY don\u2019t feel well and it\u2019s not getting better you need to get help. This is life or death. \n\nIf anyone else has any tips please add to this!!! These are just the major ones that really helped me.", "post_id": "hv016q", "comment_id": "fyrxfeh"}, {"question": "Regular smoking before age 16 is about the only time you can do real, permanent damage. Sounds like you haven't gotten there yet though. Just give it time. 100% sober time though because you want your brain to get used to not expecting the high, not just the percentage of time not high. ", "comment": "Hey guys.\n\nSo I've probably smoked weed about 20-25 times max in the last 6 months, never more than 2-3 cones as I'm a soft cock mostly over the Christmas/January holidays, and gotten drunk about a dozen in the last year Between Christmas and mid-late December I suffered sleep deprivation, and when I got out of it I thought it had left me with permanent effects.\n\nAnyway a couple weeks ago I was taking to my uncle in-law who's an expert on sleep. I explained my symptoms and as soon as my mother left the room he asked how much dope I'd been smoking.\n\nI'd felt quiet, slow, unmotivated, unenthusiastic, and just in general felt really dumb.\n\nWhat I couldn't wrap my head around is that all of my mates who had started experimenting with weed/alcohol around the same time frame had experienced absolutely no changes. We're all pretty smart people who get A's/B's in school (grade ten Australia), literally most people in my grade at my large school would have smoked as much as me. I told my uncle this and he said people react differently, but how can I reach this differently?\n\nI was a pretty smart kid, now I feel like I have to put effort in to get a B. I do feel a lot better since I stopped, although I slipped up last weekend so I've had 2 cones in 25 days, stupidly got drunk on Friday. Other than that been sober. \n\nWill I regain my cognitive capabilities? My memory just doesn't feel the same. It darkens me that I may have ruined my entire future over a few seshes with my mates. \n\nShould I undergo some memory exercises? Or maybe even get an MRI or other brain scans to see if it's something else, I mean the time frame makes it plausible to say it's from weed/alcohol, but how can this be possible for not an excessive amount of use.\n\nWriting this at 11:23 on a school night. I'm rattled and I can't stop thinking about it.\n\nAre these effects going to be permanent?\n\nHelp me reddit.", "post_id": "b4vtsb", "comment_id": "ej9lly1"}, {"question": "Simply put, self-diagnoses put labels on symptoms that people don't understand. When they're able to label it, they think they understand it better, and can then treat it better.", "comment": "I saw this post on r/tumblr of someone self diagnosing themselves with all sorts of illnesses. \n\nAfter the anger subsided. It made me wonder. Honestly, why do people selfdx? Is it a trend? I notice people tend to self diagnose with certain illnesses more often then others (anxiety, autism(?)) how do they come up with the diagnosis in the first place? \n\nThose who do self diagnose- how has it helped you? Why haven't you sought a psychiatric or psychological assessment? How do you seek treatment without official diagnoses? \n\nEdit: although lots of down voting, I really appreciate everyone that posted some really interesting and valid things. Mental health awareness and access to services seem to be a big issue all over the world, whether health care is paid, free, whether your in a developed or developing nation. Those in rural areas are also greatly affected. We tend to focus on the \"attention seeking self diagnosers\" (myself included) instead of looking at the overarching global problem!  Thanks again to everyone and wishing you all the best", "post_id": "68a1gp", "comment_id": "dgxiotu"}, {"question": "Never hurts to start a conversation BUT you have to read their cues as to their level of interest. Join social/recreational activities; good place to practice these skills.", "comment": "Generally I'm not the kind of person to start a conversation with a stranger. Any time that it has happened it's either ended with the single comment or it's a small pleasant exchange without any way of possibly talking again. Aside from a few rare cases.\n\nStill, I'm pretty lonely and I want to properly consider trying to make friends more proactively. Being in university now I know I have to work up the courage to put myself out there more in order for anything to happen.\n\nI'm pretty shy and anxious though, so I worry a lot about other people's reactions and I usually figure that if I said anything it would be a bother because I'm just some random person invading on their space. Especially if I tried to get a conversation going.\n\nI know that a lot of it has to do with chance and whether me and the person 'click' but I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share their perspective on being spoken to by strangers, especially ones around their age. For example, I hear people give advice to approach people at places like Starbucks, but do people really welcome that? For example, if someone came up to you while you were getting coffee would you be okay with it?\n\nThis is all a little jumbled but I'd really accept any kind of input, advice, experiences or encouragement. So there's no wrong answer.", "post_id": "6itn9f", "comment_id": "dj8zgxi"}, {"question": "I would talk to him about very specific things you're concerned about and need for him to change.  If he doesn't/won't/can't change, you have a big decision to make.", "comment": "Posting on a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my reddit username. So my current boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years and its the first serious relationship for both of us. When I first became interested in him there were a lot of things about him that worried me- he had been in the same dead end job for a decade because he hasn't finished uni, still was living at home and smoked a lot of weed (I have nothing against it but I think it can definitely affect you if you're smoking it every day). In spite of this he had a wonderful personality- very sweet, sensitive, respectful, generous and a true gentleman which is really hard to come across these days. In the 1st year/year and a half of our relationship he finally quit his job and found a good one working in the field he's studying and cut down drastically on how much weed he was smoking- I was super proud of him because I never asked or pressured him to do any of this and it seemed like our relationship had inspired him to make changes. Unfortunately in the last 6 months things have gone downhill. I've noticed how short tempered and impatient he can be with his family as a result of being quite spoilt his whole life (he's often like a bratty kid) and how extremely negative his outlook on life is. It's gotten progressively worse to the point where being around him is draining. In addition to this I'm getting extremely frustrated by the fact he's still living at home with his mother doing his washing, ironing and cooking with no foreseeable plans to become an adult and move out. It just doesn't seem right that even with our 9 year age gap I'm a lot more mature than he is. I've tried to have serious chats with him about all this but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. I still love him very much and want it to work but I'm scared of wasting my early 20s in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. Should I lay it on the line and give him a certain amount of time to get his shit together or just end it now?\n\n\n**TL;DR - boyfriend is a nice person but immature and still living at home, not sure whether to give him another chance or end it**", "post_id": "5qavet", "comment_id": "dcxq0ny"}, {"question": "Are you taking any medications at present? ", "comment": "so i have self diagnosed my self with alcohol intolerance. previously when i would drink whiskey, i would get red splotches and once had trouble breathing. now, it has happened when drinking beer too which is a huge problem for me. i hate having red splotches when at the bar. what do you suggest to take to make this go away or just a bit better. i know i can take antihistamines but is it safe to drink on those. let me know what you think thank you\nalso i am  a 21 year old male 5'11 185 lbs white", "post_id": "77ieej", "comment_id": "don7rln"}, {"question": "see a couples therapist", "comment": "I've been with my boyfriend for four years. First two years, they were wonderful. We had minimal problems. And when we did, we both apologized sincerely, and made up. Then things began to go down hill. For awhile, I've attributed it to, \"Oh he's dealing with depression.\" (Which I have no idea if that is true, but there's something. He won't get help. Or \"He's from a bad home life.\" Excuses basically. In doing so... I realize I've become a doormat. I try so hard to please him and keep him happy, that I am not happy. His behavior has slowly declined into negativity. When he has bad days, I usually am the one to feel the steam. The love..it feels dull. He stopped doing the little things he did to show his love. He stopped trying to plan dates for us. I feel like the effort is slowing diminishing. \n\nNOW, I am not trying to say he's the problem. IN FACT... I have part in this too. For years, I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. I just started to get help last semester of college. I am on medication and improving significantly. Now that I can think clearly and calmly, I see I definitely have reinforced his poor behavior and let him know its okay to act this way to me. I have done this, by saying nothing. I never complain... When arguments go down, I immediately cave and do the apologizing just to get some relief because I worry too much. \n\nI've read a lot of articles about this,and I know I have know now that my behavior too has too improve. Guess that's my new years resolution. \n\nSo I guess my question is, what is the first step? Should I tell him what I've come to know,or do I just start changing my behavior and his will change in conjunction. Tips?\n\nWe both love each other. Very much. I think that we've just got...lazy? I dont know the words.\n\ntl;dr My boyfriend and I have behavior problems that have effected our relationship, whats the first step?", "post_id": "5ljeu2", "comment_id": "dbw612n"}, {"question": "Look up Alice in Wonderland Syndrome", "comment": "I can\u2019t sleep, this has been bothering me for a while now. Every time I\u2019m with a friend out, family, or even alone, I feel so huge. I feel like I\u2019m taking up space. I feel like I\u2019m the elephant in the room. And then I start to hold my breath because I feel like I\u2019m breathing too heavy, which causes me to breathe even more heavier. This happens to me when I\u2019m at a restaurant or when there are big crowds I\u2019m around, which I don\u2019t understand because I\u2019m not shy and I love public speaking. What I\u2019m trying to say is that I feel like I\u2019m sitting on a little kids chair, that everything around me feels smaller and I just feel HUGE, not fat huge, but just BIG! Sometimes I can\u2019t look at myself because my body looks weird or I feel fat and everything I wear starts to feel tight and then I just want to cry and go home...\n\nI hope somebody has an answer as to why...why this happens or what this is please..", "post_id": "ei2ucv", "comment_id": "fcnr83w"}, {"question": "It\u2019s pretty common to have a sore arm for a few days and to have a day or so of generalized muscle aches and sick feeling from the flu shot. I don\u2019t know about the meningococcal vaccine.", "comment": "Not sure if this is appropriate for this sub but yesterday I (21F) got both a flu and a meningitis shot mainly because of working in an environment with homeless/at risk teens. Last night I got a headache and some minor body aches - no fever that I know of and my arm hurts pretty badly which I know can be normal... Is the body ache/headache normal? This might sound like a stupid question but it's been a few years since I've had a flu shot or a meningitis shot so I cant remember what's normal or not. tyia", "post_id": "d8ma05", "comment_id": "f1b8o2a"}, {"question": "this convo should happen in the early stages of a relationship. it's deal breaker if you're not on the same page", "comment": "Me [30/M] and my girlfriend [29/F] are having discussions about whether we want to have kids. \n\nHer stance: yes, definitely and rather sooner than later (within next few years). My stance: definitely not now, but some day but I don't know when. \n\nAs you can imagine this is giving some stress as I don't want to commit to something at this point in time and have the expectation to give my GF kids in the next few years. For me, when I'm 35-36 or so it might be OK, but I can not predict this. For my GF, considering also her age, in 5-6 years from now will take too long.\n\n\nWe both love each other a lot and everything else is fine in our relationship. However, I am not sure how to move forward right now. My GF is afraid to break up and be left alone, needing to find a new partner and have kids which will also take some years perhaps. At the same time, for me giving that 'promise' feels very much like being put in a corner and I just want to be free.\n\n\nWhat do? this is so sad.", "post_id": "6rqqvg", "comment_id": "dl786dq"}, {"question": "Personally, I think we need more people like you in medicine, those with life experiences (so to speak).\n\nIn the UK I would definitely recommend trying, but you are in the US and im aware its a whole different culture. Listen to the other responders.", "comment": "I've worked at a fortune 500 company as a software engineer for about 10 years now. I'm exhausted with this job. Every day is just filled with boredom and monotony. I'm in a management role so I barely even code anymore, but that's not important because I've never liked doing it anyway. I never interact with people, never get a thank you for my work, and just never feel satisfied after my day at work. I make about $140k/yr and I have enough money saved to go through medical school and my wife makes $40k/yr which is plenty to support us and our expenses.  I just need to know if it's reasonable or if I can expect to be hired anywhere. \n\nI have a BS in electrical engineering and had a 3.7 GPA when I graduated. I am 36 now, so I'd be in my mid-to-late fortys by the time I was finished with all the schooling. I've just always been in love with the idea of being a doctor and helping people get better whether it's cancer or a cold. I dream of either being a general practitioner or an ER doctor, but being an ER doctor may involve too much death for ~~new~~ me. Could I even get a residency at that age? Let alone hired by a hospital? What would patients think when they see a 40 year old doctor with a degree from just a few years ago?\n\nMy wife is very encouraging and supportive and just wants me to be happy so I'm not worried about that. I just want to make sure that I would be able to get hired.", "post_id": "4ydor0", "comment_id": "d6n6jsl"}, {"question": "I think it\u2019s more simply: the mind with which you judge yourself is the mind with which you judge others, and vice versa. The same tendencies for judgment arise.", "comment": "I am always filled with self-loathe, especially at my physical appearance, and I can't help but think if I had a child then I would hate that child too because it's my DNA. But the thing is I don't think that negatively of my parents, even though I'm their offspring. But I also am nothing like them, in behavior or physical appearance.", "post_id": "7wne8v", "comment_id": "du2pu3f"}, {"question": "Do EVERYTHING slower and with intention.", "comment": "Take a stroll around the house in slow motion. It really helps! Just a tip guys and gals.", "post_id": "efvvp5", "comment_id": "fc3xpi2"}, {"question": "Blaming EBV for all kinds of neuropsychiatric oddities is apparently the newest fad in pseudomedicine. Your psychiatrist apparently has gone rogue in a number of ways from standards of care.\n\nThis is a messy situation, but I would discuss with your PCP, who is better equipped to manage EBV.", "comment": "36, Male, 6'2\", 230 lbs\n\n​\n\nI got the labs today and makes me worried:\n\n[https://imgur.com/a/BfD9aY4](https://imgur.com/a/BfD9aY4)\n\nWould this change previous advice I got?\n\n/u/FMdocTX\n\n/u/brugada\n\n/u/thebighead\n\n​\n\nPrevious post:\n\n[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/akwund/psychiatrist\\_says\\_i\\_have\\_acute\\_and\\_reactivated/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/akwund/psychiatrist_says_i_have_acute_and_reactivated/)", "post_id": "al7c8q", "comment_id": "efbin4f"}, {"question": "Are you in America?  If so, go to an emergency room.  I believe they have to see you.  Yes you'll be billed for it later but if you have no assets there isn't much to collect.  You have to get those wrists treated.  While there, explain your situation with the anger and the poverty and ask them for a psychiatric consultation.  Ask them how you can get Medicaid health insurance.\n\nWhat you need to locate is a social worker who can hook you up to benefits.  Like Medicaid health insurance which will get you a therapist and some limited access to psychiatric care which it sounds like you'd benefit from.  Someone at the hospital might be able to hook you up.  It'd be a start.  ", "comment": "Lately all of the sadness I feel has turned into anger. I can't write songs anymore. I can't be productive. I can't get a job. I want to fight everyone all the time. I wake up screaming sometimes from this recurring dream of getting tortured but now it's me doing the torturing which just makes me feel worse. I have a freak out almost daily now. My wrist has been broken for a month I have no idea how to even get insurance to see a doctor for it. I dont have/cant find a job, so I just can't afford insurance, I just kinda deal with my wrist. But in today's violent spaz out of the day I beat the hell out of my wall furnace with both fists until both of my hands were bleeding. Wrist was bad before, much worse now. Just hangs there. My gf probably doesn't wanna deal with this shit anymore. I get out and try to fight people at stoplights over ridiculous stuff. I break expensive shit, scream, and try to fight everyone. All of my self loathing and shit just became pure angst towards everyone and everything around me. Nothing is challenging or fulfilling anymore. I liked being sad better than this. I wish I could afford therapy, or could get back on some medicine, or could just be put down like a sick fucking dog.", "post_id": "530bkb", "comment_id": "d7q3dyh"}, {"question": "Yes..  often i think the craving for alcohol is a need alright but often other things fix it...food, water or even brushing your teeth. Meet the need. Good luck. ", "comment": "I struggled yesterday for the first time really, but managed to resist.\n\nI realised that actually it was being hungry that was making me crave a drink so I had lots to eat and a couple of pints of water. The other thing that helped me to resist was that I had planned a 4 mile run for this morning which I did at 7am.\n\nFeeling quite proud of both things. \n\nWas worried yesterday that I might struggle to not have a drink tonight (as I'm not planning to run tomorrow), but I think I'll be OK. \n\nStarting to lose a bit of weight and feel a bit physically stronger even after only a few days. \n\nIWNDWYT ", "post_id": "8m9tia", "comment_id": "dzmblpy"}, {"question": "Apologize. Don't expect anything from them - it would be wonderful to repair the friendship - but just remember that it's totally their choice to forgive you or not. They may be delighted to hear from you, they may feel more at peace, or they may choose to continue not speaking to you. Say what you need to say, not for you, but because it's the right thing to do.\n\nAs for Ramadan - firstly, fasting only occurs during daylight hours. You could consider sending them the message in the evening after *iftar* (the nightly meal).\n\nSecond, it's a month meant to foster faith, community, prayer, reflection. While it's their choice in how they may react, and I don't know all the details of your situation, I would say forgiveness and reconciliation are very much in the spirit of Ramadan. Consider sending your blessings to them and wishing them well.\n\nDisclaimer, I am not Muslim, this is just based on my outsider knowledge.", "comment": "So guys I\u2019m asking for my friends.\nI have two friends who I haven\u2019t talked to for 4-5 months! I messed up bad last year and we haven\u2019t talked since. I have yet to apologise and I said some terrible stuff last year. I have learnt my lesson and want to apologise.\nThe only thing is I realised it\u2019s Ramadan and they are fasting! It\u2019s a spiritual month and I don\u2019t wanna ruin anyone\u2019s mood during the fast.\n\nI know they are upset and get angry when the topic of our drama is bought up! \nI don\u2019t wanna ruin anything. Or make them feel angry! It\u2019s a bit of sensitive matter as I\u2019ve basically ruined a 8 year friendship \nI don\u2019t want to delay talking to them since it\u2019s already May !! I wanna work things out fast! \n\nBut is it the right time right now ? \nOr should I wait ?\n\nAlso happy Ramadan to anyone whose fasting", "post_id": "gaxx08", "comment_id": "fp2raqb"}, {"question": "I struggle too, I practice radical acceptance and opposite action though, knowing full well most often my feelings are not correct and it will pass over time. Plus self care ", "comment": "I posted the other day about working/holding down a job while having BPD. I said how much I hated the job after two weeks in.\n\nWell, I quit the job yesterday. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore and it was causing me more anxiety and stress. I just couldn't stick with it.\n\nNo, I don't have a job lined up. I've taken the initiative and started applying for jobs though before I officially quit. I do have an interview tomorrow.\n\nIt's really difficult for me to hold a job. I have to REALLY like it to want to stick with it. No matter what people tell me, no matter how hard they try to encourage me... If I don't like it, I flee (as with most things in life). People try to tell me to just be mature and stay until something better comes along... I CAN'T! I literally can't. And it's impossible trying to explain it to someone who doesn't fucking understand at all. And the worst part is, I'm so charming and bubbly during the interview, I usually get the job. Then after I'm at the job for a little bit, and I hate it, I just stop showing up or make an excuse for having to quit.\n\nMy brain is too complicated to explain to neurotypicals and it's exhausting trying to do so.\n\nAm I the only one who struggles with being impulsive? I can't be. I'd really like some support if any of you could help. x", "post_id": "6d4ye3", "comment_id": "di0yrm7"}, {"question": "If the pharmacy sticker on the doxycycline box says acne, then its for that.\n\nI'm also suspicious about the need for the morning after pill, by your reports. Sorry.", "comment": "Tl;Dr (at the top, backstory below) - girlfriend got a morning after pill (72hour one) from pharmacy after holiday. Not too it, when confronted I was told she got it when getting the contraceptive pill as a \"just incase\" by the doctor and didn't ask for it. Says on pack \"to be taken immediately\". Couple of female friends told me they've never been given it. Others that have taken it say you're meant to take it in the pharmacy or something. There was also Doxycycline. She says its for acne, which is what it says on box prescription sticker. Also used to treat STI's...\n\nAny UK doctors ever prescribed 72hour pill \"just incase\" to someone?\n\nAre doctors allowed to say some medicine is for X when really it's for Y?\n\n\n\nRight... So this is a weird one, it's not a medical condition for myself as such.\n\nMy girlfriend and I, of 3 years now, have been having a rocky period (bit of background, bear with me). We live together. She went off on holiday with a friend, already planned .etc.\nDidn't really bother me, while over there though, in Menorca, she started to be distant. Not really getting messages, or if I did they'd be short and have no kisses at the end. This may seem trivial, and I know she's on holiday, but this has come from us texting or calling whenever we're not together to this...\n\nFast forward to near end of holiday. She rings me wanting to book her a doctors appointment. Says its to go back on the contraceptive pill (Yasmin - she came off it as family history of DVT and gives her headaches/migraines). Try and book one, nothing available. Gets stressy at me and annoyed at not getting appointment.\n\nFast forward to return. Morning after she lands, goes to doctors to try and get a walkin and does. Comes back with prescription bag and goes out.\n\nCuriosity, cat, blah blah. I look in bag and find morning after pill, not taken, and doxycycline (claims its for acne and that's what it says in box sticker).\n\nWhen confronted about morning after pill, she laughs it off and says the doctor gave it her as a \"just in case\" and that I was being silly.\n\nThis was a few weeks ago. ", "post_id": "4zobbi", "comment_id": "d6xf3pv"}, {"question": "I'd hesitate against assuming DID as it is extremely extremely rare (and is actually a debated diagnosis by many clinicians/academics). You are absolutely right that with BPD one tends to have a very unstable sense of self-image, can often fluctuate from feeling one way to another. \n\nHowever, again, this is best left to discussion with a therapist or psychiatrist. ", "comment": "I have a history of dp/dr and have BPD and PTSD among other things. I also have a history of past abuse. I do have separate \"personas\" I fluctuate into and have had since my early teens. Sometimes I feel really kiddy and giggly and want to play with children's toys and put on a onesie, sometimes I feel like a drag queen (I'm a woman though, so that's kinda weird right?), sometimes I feel transgender, goth, slutty, etc, etc. I don't know if this is just unstable self image because of the BPD or something else all together (like DID). Anyone have input/advice?", "post_id": "25fjku", "comment_id": "chgqom7"}, {"question": "[Sleeping well](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/sleepproblems/sleepingwell.aspx)", "comment": "25/male/caucasian/ 6'1\"/157 lbs\n\nlately i've been having insomnia. I sleep on average 4 hours a night. I wake up around 9 and fall asleep at ~5. You would think this would make me more tired as my sleep deprivation continues, but for some reason it doesn't get worse, and I never feel tired. I don't sleep in the day, and i'm never drowsy. I drink about 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning, and so far my cognition is normal. This has been going on for a few weeks now and is becoming kind of unnerving. Does anyone have any insight as to why this could be happening?", "post_id": "52pl7y", "comment_id": "d7mnqmz"}, {"question": "Where there's smoke, there's fire, as the saying goes. The ambiguous facts would seem to point to past rape or sexual assault experience. However, you dissociate, and do not recall any such experience, and in the absence of such memory it isn't clear that it must have occurred; It is at least possible that there is some other explanation, though personally I find that rather implausible. A cautious therapist might be concerned about giving you ideas that can't be proven, or even participating in the generation of false memories. In my experience, however, what you are describing is overwhelmingly likely to be post traumatic stress secondary to sexual abuse you do not remember due to the dissociation. Verbal and physical, non-sexual abuse does not produce the sort of symptoms you describe.", "comment": "TW all the way, you can skip and read the tl;dr here:\n\ntl;dr: I have sexual triggers but no memory of a sexual trauma. My therapist told me the triggers might come from my childhood trauma. Now I don't know how to feel. Is this common?\n\nSo I have those triggers like\n\n* going to the obgyn\n\n* having sex\n\n* mention of sexual assault and the like, in RL or tv ect.\n\n* being in a (public) situation that may or may not result in me being assaulted, e.g. speaking to a stranger/ walking alone alongside stranger(s). My thoughts just spiral till I am convinced they want to assault me.\n\nThat results always in panic/ distress and can result in heavy panic attacks/ disassociation.\n\nFurthermore I sometimes feel the urge to get rid of my sexual organs, like ripping them out of me because they feel rotten and disgusting and I feel like carrying a dead weight.\n\nI do struggle with urges of self harm too, because I feel the need to \"cut it out\", don't know what it is, but it doesn't belong there and I just feel it. This one may be related to another trauma tho.\n\nI do not have a memory of being r*** before but minor assaults. I do not remember 60% of my life.\n\nI told her My triggers and she asked about my family and there was a lot \"only\" verbal and psychological abuse, so I just never linked it together because I have other triggers too that \"fit\" childhood trauma \"better\".\n\nMy therapist told me that my \"sexual triggers\" might come from my childhood trauma.\n\nAnd I just... I can't breathe. I feel so invalidated and I just wanted to ask are there people having \"sexual triggers\" from verbal/psychological abuse? As I have no clear memory of a distinct event I'm not bound to the idea there *has* to be something that happened I don't remember.\n\nBut as a part of working on myself I tried to understand my triggers and separate them between 3 traumas, and one was the possible sexual trauma.\n\nI don't know how to feel about this and I think I need help. Does someone have triggers that don't really match their trauma? Is this common?", "post_id": "ewmv6o", "comment_id": "fg37vfa"}, {"question": "In the United States you can't force any adult to see a psychiatrist against their will unless that person is actively suicidal/homicidal.\n\nThere are really very few benefits or downsides to having a diagnosis as nobody ever has to know your diagnosis but you.  In fact, you don't even have to know your diagnosis if you don't want to.  Most people never ask and are never told who receive therapy but anyone who's ever been to a therapist and used some type of health insurance has received a mental health diagnosis.  ", "comment": "It's very difficult to get disability benefits for mental health reasons in the US and those benefits are meager and useless. The downsides of a diagnosis are SO SO much worse than any possible 'benefits'. The social stigmatization, the social RAPE of being called a retard for no reason, the cost and effects of the drugging. It should be downright illegal for anyone else to force someone to see a psychiatrist against their will.", "post_id": "9h6pu2", "comment_id": "e69ilt5"}, {"question": "I feel similarly and also think this is common. I think Temple Grandin is famously outspoken about her connection with animals, right? I don't know that she specifically talks about cats though. \n\nThere is a great short photo book called All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome-- you can read/watch the whole book here: https://youtu.be/Z0wHs5c7qSg \nI think you would love it!", "comment": "I adore cats and I always end up having incredibly close and loving relationships with them. For me there is no competition between cats and humans. I think this might be common especially with girls with Aspergers (I am a girl with Aspergers) what do you think about this?", "post_id": "h0iync", "comment_id": "ftmlszm"}, {"question": "You might try putting a call in to your local state representative - that is, your representative in the state legislature, or your local town hall. They frequently have a community assistance helpline that can go through what options are available in your state for people like your sister. \n\nIf your sister doesn't qualify for Medicare or Medicaid - does she have insurance? If she does, you can contact her insurance company and try to have an Intensive Case Manager (ICM) work on her case to find treatment options. They are usually actually pretty motivated to find something to get people stable, since hospital level of care is way expensive for them.", "comment": "I have a sister who experiences combined symptoms of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. For several weeks (or months) at a time, she'll be able to hold on decent conversations, feed herself, clothe herself, and basically live autonomously (although she doesn't have the follow through to hold down a job). But on her down swings, she has audio hallucinations, she screams at the top of her lungs, and can even get violent towards anybody nearby (my parents have had flesh bit off of them). But even on her up-swings, she still needs to be kept under watchful eye, since her worst down-swings can happen within hours.\n\nShe is currently 30 years old and living with our parents, who are both in their sixties and are aging quite quickly, and who have spent all of their savings and have gone deeply into debt trying to treat her and manage her symptoms (using both conventional and alternative medicine). \n\nRight now, my wife and I deeply stressed by what seems to be a spiraling train wreck waiting to happen. My dad is working himself into the ground with no prospects of retirement, and any day will collapse from sheer exhaustion or heart attack. My mother has worsening health problems of her own. And even if they survive the next twenty years, their steady income will not \u2014 within 5-10 years, I do not believe my dad will be able to work anymore.\n\nMy wife and I are currently students starting a family of our own. And quite frankly, we cannot allow my sister to live with us \u2014 it is not an environment in which we want to raise young children in (even if it were safe to do so, which it very possibly is not). My other sister and her husband also have young children. And none of us have incomes that will fund the live-in care she really needs. At the very best, we could supplement or assist with rent \u2014 but she can't make do with rent, she needs supervisory care.\n\nIn Utah, there are simply no options for long-term live-in care. Even the state hospital has a policy and history of simply discharging patients on their up-swings. We've been assured by those in-the-know and first-hand experience that if my sister goes to the state hospital she will not likely get the care she needs, and will likely be discharged after a month or two of improvement (which she regularly shows just before her subsequent down-swings).\n\nWhat she needs is a long-term live-in facility where she can stay as long as needed to *truly* be stabilized (instead of just a two-three month up-swing), who will not release her to the streets until she demonstrates that she can hold a long-term job and provide for herself (for a year or more \u2014 she's had her worst down-swings after 7-8 months of near-normality). Utah has no such facility (private or public), and any state that does, such facilities are prohibitively expensive (based on our research, in the hundreds of thousands a year).\n\nIn short, unless a super-rich benefactor comes along, in every imaginable scenario (at least in the state where we live), my sister ends up homeless on the streets. It's causing me and my wife sleepless nights (such as tonight), thinking about the responsibility that will very soon be ours, but which we cannot take on (for both family and financial reasons). But we love our sister, and I've soaked my pillow at night at the thought of her living on the streets \u2014 we will not let that happen if we can avoid it. But short of a miracle, how can we avoid it?\n\nThere's support groups (like NAMI), but they haven't offered much in the way of tangible options (at least for Utah and the surrounding states). There's state insurance (medicare? medicaid?), but due to some quirk in Utah law, she doesn't qualify, and just what good would that do if Utah doesn't offer the needed facilities in the first place?\n\nI just need to vent, I guess. I welcome suggestions. Simultaneously, over the years, I've been told there's just not a lot of options, and the very thought of it hurts. ", "post_id": "2ea2cf", "comment_id": "cjxiuk8"}, {"question": "TALK about this. Insist on defining what everyone wants and feels.", "comment": "Hello! \n\nI know you've probably seen a million of these posts before but I need your advice.... badly. \n\nSo I'm 23F and I've started seeing this guy a little over 7 months ago, now I'm the type of person who for lack of a better word latches onto someone quickly. But see I got out of a 2 year relationship only 3 months prior to starting my current relationship and it was not a committed relationship at all. \n\nThe guy I'm seeing now he's 29M and his previous relationship was about a year ago and lasted 7 years. So I know there's a bunch of history there I can never replace I understand that. \n\nBut 7 months in I feel for him more than he likes me and I'm willing to wager on it. But I attended my brothers engagement party and as me and let's call him bob attended together I could see myself with him long term. But I'm terrified that he's not going to be interested in me for the long term. \n\nNow I manned up and I asked him \"where do you see us going\" and he replied simply that he doesn't know. Which I'll admit stung. But he stated he sees me being with him long term. Then when he started getting pissed at the party he made comments about what our children would look like, and how our wedding would take place, our engagement party etc. This all threw me off because he's such a silent guy, he keeps all his cards close to his chest. \n\nBut now he's put in a power point on my side of the bed of his house, and calls it our room. Our dogs. Our life. And I'm. Worried this will all go to my head. We haven't even said I love you yet. Although I'm definitely feeling it  \n\nSo my question is, can I take what he said after a few beers legitimately or just keep focusing on going slow for him and let him instigate the future? \n\nHow do I say I love you without the fear of him not returning the feelings? I probably sound like a stupid teenager. \n\nMy two year relationship, we were talking about engagement and looking at rings before the relationship ended. I put my heart on my sleeve with the previous guy and I was hurting, still hurt sometimes from the blow. I just want validation that I'm not reading too much into things. You know? \n\nTL:DR \nMe and current guy dating for 7 months. Haven't said I love you. He got drunk and started talking about our future. Morning came and life went back to normal. Worried I'm over thinking since prev relationship ended only 3-4 months prior to this, and his ended a year before that. We both still hurt from previous relationship as is expected. Really wanting validation to show I'm not crazy. ", "post_id": "67223l", "comment_id": "dgn3dvf"}, {"question": "Why do you want to come off quetiapine in the first place?", "comment": "Hey doctors. I'm on 150mg of Seroquel XR and want to stop taking the meds ASAP. If I quit them cold turkey will I get bad withdrawal symptoms? And if I try to wean off of them how should I do so? Thanks!\n\nEdit: Does anyone know what will happen if I cut the extended release pill in half and try to taper down my dose that way?", "post_id": "6r581p", "comment_id": "dl2m57r"}, {"question": "Before you dive deep in, ask what their LGBTQ+ competency is and what kind of training/supervision the therapists have in this area.  This is going to be extremely important as you address these topics in therapy.  \n\n\nIf they don't have a good answer for you or one you're happy with, seek another provider immediately, don't try to make it work just because the location or some other aspect may be more convenient.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "do3upa", "comment_id": "f5m2bbw"}, {"question": "so sorry..... no easy answer here.  everyone is different when it comes to forgiveness. i would definitely see a marriage counselor", "comment": "We are a married couple for 4 years, with no kids. We were seeing each other for 7 years before that. Wife initially started our conversation that she wanted a divorce because she was not attracted to me anymore. Later on, she admitted that she was seeing someone (Mr.X) and she had committed the worst thing ever. They had sex few times and now she is 6 weeks pregnant. I do not know what to do. She might be emotionally involved with Mr.X and she needs to talk to him about the pregnancy..if she needs to abort it or want to keep it ? I am very devastated with all this and want a divorce, because it seems to be messy situation. I can not speak to anyone about this, since I do not want to bring up the pregnancy topic. If it was only an affair, I could have thought twice of giving this a second chance. But knowing she is pregnant, it feels terrible. \nI do not know what to do...Looking for some advice here...please help, im devastated. Should I give her a second chance and forget what happened OR get a separation and make my own way out of this ?\n\nEdit : I do not plan to raise the other man's kid. If we choose to give it another chance, she would have to drop the kid, since its only 6 weeks it's only a pill abort. I feel horrible to say this, but for reasons I would not want to raise someone's else kid.", "post_id": "5pst0i", "comment_id": "dctj3bu"}, {"question": "Er - you should see a doc about this - there's no need to risk permanent disfigurement by not seeking help early enough.\n\nGiven your financial situation - can you post a pic?", "comment": "So 6 to 8 weeks ago, I think I broke my right index finger. I was using a sledgehammer to hammer in a stake in the ground and I missed, causing my finger (which was holding the sledgehammer) to be smashed into the wood. I was in a lot of pain but I was still able to move it a bit. A day later and I was able to move the full range with just a bit of pain. Fast forward to now and I have a swollen index finger that still hurts to pick up heavier things with and rarely hurts when playing video games. I kind of don't know where to go from here. I've talked with my mom about it on multiple occasions and she said the doctors wouldn't be able to do anything with it. Is it possible for the swelling to go away on its own at some point or should I treat it/go to the doctor? By the way, I don't have health insurance so going to the doctor is a final resort. Any advice would be much appreciated!", "post_id": "6qqnw6", "comment_id": "dkzazve"}, {"question": "I remember the struggle when I first did an online course...and here is what helped me.\n1. Make a calendar and write out all of the assignments in the appropriate due date. (Helped me see everything at a glance)\n2. Block out specific times each week when you plan to work on assignments. (do a little bit a time, not all at once so you can ask questions)\n3. Don't be afraid to ask for help early on!\n4. Do your best (It is better to turn SOMETHING in than nothing at all)  Something can get points\n", "comment": "it seems we can't escape the future. and while I had some success  with Lynda.com, I've been struggling other platforms like udacity , udemy and coursera .\n\ndo you have any tips on effectively finishing an online course? ", "post_id": "627bd7", "comment_id": "dfkuw52"}, {"question": "Just kiss him. He'll figure it out. ", "comment": "I have known this guy since junior high. We were good friends in high school. We aren't as close now but we've remained good friends. Back in junior high we both told each other we liked each other. But nothing ever came of it. \n\nI had dinner with him and his sister the other night. He kept flirting with me and was talking about wanting a summer fling. I definitely flirted back and tried to drop hints. When we were alone he asked me if I was seeing anyone and we joked about it. I just don't understand. Nothing ever came from these conversations. Does he like me? I can't understand why he would be so concerned about if I'm seeing anyone, or why he would flirt with me. \n\nI'm too terrified to say anything because I'm scared he has no feelings for me. I also keep questioning why he hasn't said anything yet. Any advice on his behaviour or what I should do is much appreciated. Thank-you!", "post_id": "6bujgc", "comment_id": "dhps99w"}, {"question": "It's hard to imagine her keeping the pics if that was true. Also, she lied, and if you were dating in a committed monogamous way, she cheated on you. How long ago was this cruise?", "comment": "I long suspected something happend while on the\ncruise with Girl friends and she always denied it.\nShe said it happened after drinking and it was\nspur of the moment and instantly regretted it.\nHowever I found a photo album from the cruise\nwith at lease 6 pictures of her with him..drapped\nall over him... and it was obvious that the pictures\nwere at different times(different clothes on etc).\nShe also at the behest of her girlfriend called him\ntwice after the cruise but basically didn't say\nanything to him\nI found out this about 6 months ago and its still bothers me\nUPDATE now she is telling me that she hung out /flirted with him  went back to his cabin and he basically date raped her  I do not know what to think and cant understand keeping the pics etc if this is true", "post_id": "6o9qd4", "comment_id": "dkfnt8l"}, {"question": "Oh god, my spiro withdrawal was awful even titrating off slowly. Gained 10 lbs of water weight and felt like my stomach had a layer of jello all around it. Took a month off to feel normal. ", "comment": "Hey all,\n\nI am currently out of Spiro (one week now) and cannot get to the doctor to refill my prescription for another two weeks.  I am considering going off of it as I am full paleo/alcohol free/etc. and am hoping my lifestyle will allow me to go off (only because I hate being teathered to daily pills). Does anyone have experience with withdrawal from Spiro? Claire ", "post_id": "8l3rph", "comment_id": "dzdi10w"}, {"question": "Ugh, I definitely get this sometimes! Using a heating pad on my back and/or stomach helps. Also this sometimes happens to me when I'm constipated! Deep breaths, remember it will pass!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9gtun9", "comment_id": "e66xg8a"}, {"question": "Trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. When trust is broken one of three things can happen. You can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. The ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. That's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. It's just deeply personal. ", "comment": "So here goes nothing. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and just recently about 3 months ago we had our child. We have plans on getting married and the whole nine, but recently she admitted she cheated on me once. Let me explain. During the beginning of her pregnancy she was actually extremely mad at me because of it. Even to the extent to where she broke up with me for roughly 2 months, now during those 2 months she was completely avoiding me and telling me we were never getting back together. For some reason I had a feeling that during that time she was seeing someone. And she was, she admitted to me she \"made out\" with the guy and they saw each other frequently during this time. She said they only \"made out\" once ,but once they left one another he would kiss her on the cheek. She tells me she feeling like the worst mother and person in existence because of it, she says it wasn't her, she did it because she came out pregnant and to extent was trying to forget it all. I told her I forgive her, but sometimes I think about it and it infuriates me and kills me, during the time she was doing that I was trying to find ways to win her back and was actually buying a engagement ring. She did tell me she stopped it as soon as she became sane and she says she thinks about it constantly and regrets it all with ever inch of her. And she swore on her life she would never do anything remotely close to that ever again. But it still haunts me, trying to forget what she's done.  I want to believe her, I want to be with her because she does make me happy and she is a very important person in my life, and she's the mother of my daughter. But I don't know how to deal with the constant image and what If she isn't telling me the whole story. (The child is 100% mine)", "post_id": "67me1k", "comment_id": "dgrp6q6"}, {"question": "This is awesome!  I'm a therapist who runs therapeutic D&D groups for kids/teens as part of a side job.  There are groups of therapists all over the U.S. who are starting to do this thing and it's really beginning to take off!  I'm so happy to see that this is spreading!  Good luck!", "comment": "Hiya! I'm Kim Kupiainen. A game production student in Kajaani University of Applied Sciences.  \nWe're making a game (project lighthouse) With the premise to give coping tools and mechanisms for people with depression through a game. Here's our first Vlog. If you're interested in finding out more. Please join our discord and spread the word.\n\nI'll be checking out reddit for a hour or so now. So if you have any questions, I'm open to answer them.\n\nWe're students, so we're not getting money through this. We're interested in learning more about serious gaming. Video is in finnish. However I added english subtitles to help understand what's up in this video.\n\n[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DSKn8iw1yY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DSKn8iw1yY)\n\nDiscord channel currently is entirely in finnish, but we'll add channels for the english speaking persons, so you can talk there and share experiences and be a part of this community.", "post_id": "ezw4ix", "comment_id": "fgsj3bc"}, {"question": "r/askdocs is usually the best place for something like this. Nevertheless it all sounds very wierd and my money is on a combination of mental health disorders. She should really see one of us mental health professionals.", "comment": "I will start off by saying that I am not really sure which sub to use for this question. Ever since I can remember, my mother has displayed some rather unusual behaviors. Often times, especially when she is stressed out, she will start whispering to her self followed by a chuckle and then more whispers. We have been on the phone at times and she has zoned out and began to do this (which as you can imagine can be quite disturbing). When she is in a good mood, she will just laugh for hours in her bedroom. She claims she is \"just thinking\" but will never have a specific funny event to share. In general, my mom is quite distant (in her own world). She has no problem having a long rant about her issues but it seems as soon as anyone else starts talking about themselves, she zones right out. At one point, the zoning got so bad that even if you snapped your fingers in front of her face she would not react. Once she threw herself on the floor and starting screaming at me while pounding her fists on the floor \"I want milk!!\". A few years ago, she stopped taking her anti-psychotics and she saw a person who was not there in the corner of our apartment. Is this associated with any personality disorder? I couldn't find anything similar on the internet.  The symptoms change from what seems like one condition to the next over the years. \n\n\n\nBackground: My mother has been diagnosed over the years with everything under the sun. PTSD, Anxiety, Bi polar 2, Multiple personality disorder, borderline personality disorder (dissociative identity disorder), recently even ADD. She can not have all of these things. Any insight would be appreciated. I can go into further detail of her other symptoms if desired.", "post_id": "5zqlco", "comment_id": "df0b49p"}, {"question": "Google the term [Paralysis of Will](https://www.smartlivingnetwork.com/add-adhd/b/adhd-and-paralysis-of-will/)...procrastination in ADHD is more about sensory overload than laziness.  Like when thinking of showering or another boring task, it feels daunting just to get started. After understanding the overload part, i know just say I have to turn the shower on....then worry about step 2 when I get their.  Hope this helps! ", "comment": "I am taking procrastination to extremes, and I just don't understand myself.\n\nOne of the most puzzling examples is when I decide to take a shower before starting my evening gaming session, because I hate interrupting it midway through, and I don't enjoy it as much if I have a nagging \"gotta shower\" in the back of my mind.\n\nBut then my brain tells me showering is lots of work, even if it's a 15 minute process all in all. \"I just need to gather my strength to do it, I'll just reddit for a few minutes\". \n\nHours pass, I still haven't showered, and I only have a couple of hours left to play before I have to go to bed.\n\nWhy do I waste so much time doing stuff I don't really want to do, procrastinating on a 15 minute task, after which I get to do what I actually want to do?", "post_id": "7yuq45", "comment_id": "dukn8tt"}, {"question": "The best plan is to write down each issue you want addressed and any questions you may have for the doctor. Keep it on you and read off the sheet, or if you are super overwhelmed hand the questions over to the doc. They\u2019ll take care of the rest.", "comment": "I (19F) want to visit a doctor for STD testing, I also want to see someone about my irregular periods. Separate visits, I\u2019m sure. (Which should I do first, if it matters?)\n\nI\u2019ll be going alone, more than likely, and I want to know exactly what I should be saying. If I should call or go in to set up an appointment, the vernacular I should use, what will actually go down when I get in there, etc.\n\nI feel pathetic but anxiety really is no joke. I can\u2019t allow it to prevent me from caring for my health so I want to prepare best I can to ease my nerves.", "post_id": "hdazxo", "comment_id": "fvk4dx3"}, {"question": "I was in a very similar situation several years ago: dated for 5 years, lived together for about 2, and once the relationship was tanking he said he'd move out, as I was also the primary person on the lease and all the furniture was mine, in a relatively big apartment. He was also rude and dismissive.\n\nBut when I made the call to end it, he wasn't particularly interested in leaving. Most likely because I was making the final call, not him. He initially wanted to still live there as just a roommate, but after a week it was clearly a terrible idea. I had to maintain a very calm, polite, but somewhat cold approach and keep re-iterating that he needed to move out. We talked about how I could move out instead, sort of, but we both knew that didn't make sense. He would have had nothing in a huge empty apartment, and didn't really have the means to fill it with furniture immediately. There were lots of awkward discussions. It was stressful. Eventually he left. There was arguing over stuff, even though it seemed like all our belongings were clearly his or hers. I let him take stuff I should not have, just to get him out, not sure if that was better or stupid.\n\nEveryone reacts differently to a break-up, but I think your best approach is to be calm but very very firm on your boundaries. Set a plan and stick to it. GOOD LUCK.", "comment": "Hey guys. I've been dating my bf for 4 years, lived with him for 1. In the past couple months I've come to the really painful decision of realizing I need to break up with him. \n\nI love him a lot, but he has been casually rude/mean to me on a regular basis for the last year or so. Anytime I bring it up he acts like it's just my perception of things, he doesn't need to change his behavior, and I need to just deal with my feelings. It's been making me feel crazy for a while, and I'm sick of living like this. I've tried to talk to him about it seriously several times, but he always blows me off/doesn't take me seriously. I don't think he's ever going to change, to the point I doubt he's going to take me seriously initially  when I break up with him.\n\nHowever, several things. I've never broken up with anyone before, we live together, and we just got a new roommate a week ago. It's bad timing, but I don't really want to stay in this situation longer for it to be good timing. I've picked a weekend two weeks from now to do it because he's got a rough week at work this week/weekend, and I don't want to do it during the week so he's stuck going to work right after a breakup.\n\n We've vaguely talked about this possibility in the past. Since my name is on the lease our agreement was that he'd take 30 days to move out, regardless of who broke up with who. I'm willing to give him longer if he needs it. But since I've never done this before, is there anything else I should watch out for besides general shittiness/heartbreak on everyone's part?\n\nTL;DR Have you broken up with a partner you lived with? What did you wish you could tell yourself about the experience before doing it?", "post_id": "3ji1qb", "comment_id": "cupgn4t"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve done better on moderate low carb, high fiber, tons of veggies, than I ever did on keto/VLC diets. IF always seems like a terrible idea to me, given how adrenally sensitive so many PCOSers can be. \n\nMy point is that you may need to experiment a bit. I have pretty classic PCOS symptoms but my weight never budged/only increased/was so hard to even maintain on paleo, keto, Atkins etc. My experience with PCOS weight loss has been slow. But slow as it\u2019s been the last three years, it\u2019s the only success I\u2019ve seen. And I\u2019ve fucking tried it all.\n\nI follow the FLO Living protocol, which has helped undo the years of bad dieting mindset and helped me focus on supporting my body with the nutrients and types of activity it needs in each phase of my menstrual cycle. I\u2019m also on 1500 of Metformin ER.  ER generally has fewer stomach issues. Adjusting my dose slowly and only taking the Metformin in the middle of my meals has eliminated my GI side effects. \n\n", "comment": "I am need of some advice. I was diagnosed with insulin resistance pcos and endometriosis and was put on metformin to help make my insulin levels normal. I would really love to lose weight, not have horribly oily skin, and stop losing my hair. My question is what is the best diet and exercise for this? Will my hair stop falling out with proper diet? ", "post_id": "7w1j5b", "comment_id": "dtz2y0l"}, {"question": "Get yourself a sponsor who has worked the steps themself. Great decision to do the steps. They ARE the program of recovery! Best of luck!!", "comment": "I am 30 days in. I have read about people \u2018working\u2019 the steps and now I feel I am ready to get started,  but what does that mean? Does the Big Book indicate how to do that - anyone got page numbers?", "post_id": "bsbxv7", "comment_id": "eompt68"}, {"question": "I think many people want the validation from understanding what is happening to them. I think it is totally understandable :)", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hmm2k4", "comment_id": "fx62r2h"}, {"question": "Could it be [costochondritis](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Tietzes-syndrome/pages/introduction.aspx)? ", "comment": "I'm a 20-year-old male. I'm half white and half Hispanic. I weigh 165 lbs and I'm 5'10''. I have been suffering from chest pains for 45 days. I went to the ER 3 times because for this pain. The pain was on both sides the chest and I felt a regurgitation of food bits coming up and my throat was burning. The pain was sharp. The first time I went to the ER, the doctors did blood chest, ECG  on my heart, an echocardiogram of my heart, and a stress test. The doctors told me that the results were normal and I was suffering from acid reflux. They prescribed my with 300mg ranitidine and told me to eat more bland foods. The pain didn't get much better even when taking the ranitidine. I went back to the ER 3 days later because of a dull pain on the right side of my chest. They did blood tests, ECG, and a chest x-ray. The tests showed that everything was fine. The pain did continue and 3 days later a went to my doctor and told her about the chest pains. She checked by breathing, blood pressure, and heart. She told me it was muscle pain and prescribed with an 800 mg of ibuprofen A week after going to the ER for the second time, I decided to go to a different hospital to see if my chest pain was serious. The third time was because of a sharp pain in my heart, the pain was too much to handle. The doctors did blood tests, ECG, an echocardiogram, and an ultrasound on my stomach, pancreas, and liver. They also did a chest x-ray. The doctors told me that my heart was normal, but said I could have heart disease, so they told me to see a cardiologist. The cardiologist checked my heart and told me that the heart was normal. I'm still suffering chest pains every day for the past 45 days, the pain often varies from excruciating to little weak pain, and my breathing is normal. I'm still worried that my chest pain could be something more serious.", "post_id": "6tgxdz", "comment_id": "dlknex4"}, {"question": "You're right in that it's a problem that a lot of people have.  It also causes a chicken or the egg problem with depression.  Depression makes people want to isolate.  Being isolated makes you more depressed.... continue the cycle and spiral downwards.  \n\n\nNot everyone is lonely and isolated and most people that are don't have to be.  Find communities with similar interests in your area, clubs, rec sports, etc.  If there's nothing for you around where you live, make plans to move.  One of my favorite quotes I've seen is \n\n\n*\"If you don't like where you are, move.  You are not a tree.\"*  \n\nJim Rohn.\n\n\nWhen you're depressed it can be hard to find the energy or fight those irrational depressed thoughts that tell you you're not going to enjoy yourself anyway or that everyone's going to hate you.  The only way to get better is to force yourself to push past all of that, even if it's something really small.  Eventually you flip the cycle around.  Good socializing makes you feel better, increases your energy.  With more energy, you can go out more and feel motivated to spend more time with others.  \n\n", "comment": "Since I had surgery I\u2019ve was informed my blood pressure was high and on stroke level. Doctors have been telling me this since I was 20 and now I\u2019m 25 and I don\u2019t think it\u2019s just my eating habits and my weight. They gave me a sheet to cross off what is stressing me and with all the examples of stress I checked off nearly all of them. Then my nurse asked me what is going on and I told her I feel like I\u2019m being isolated from friends and family. When I told her that I nearly broke down but I needed to be manly. But even just explaining why, I felt like I lifted a huge weight off my chest. \n\nThe past week I\u2019ve been researching about depression, loneliness, and mental health. My sense of loneliness has been with me since I was little. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve ever known and it\u2019s made me distrustful of people. In my research I found out that being lonely puts you at risk of heart disease, stroke, and depression. My high blood pressure wasn\u2019t just my eating habits or my weight but the stress of not feeling like I connected with people. \n\nFeeling lonely is destroying us as a species. We need to feel connected to others in order for us to be mentally healthy. The more isolated we are the less we can deal with anger, social anxiety, relationships and so on. We live in a world where we can connect with others easily but yet we don\u2019t know how to form meaningful relationships with one another. We don\u2019t hug, touch, give, say nice things to each other. Maybe if we did our society would be much better off than it is now. \n\n", "post_id": "8soilr", "comment_id": "e11psx8"}, {"question": "Look into your state's mental health department/ see if there is a local community mental health center. They provide therapy/psychiatry at low/no cost for people who cant pay.\n\nAlso- if she is actively manic or suicidal- take her to a hospital. Do NOT risk it. Regardless of money they can not turn her away. Personally, I work as a therapist at an inpatient hospital and we see lots of people who have no money or insurance. We get them stable, and get them prescriptions before they are discharged. So consider that an option.", "comment": "I really don't know if this is the correct subreddit to post in, but I'm at a loss. Also I'm using a throwaway because I don't want my redditor friends to know this personal information.\n\nIf it matters, I'm a 16 year old female and my mother is 48 and divorced.\n\nAbout seven years my mom and dad separated. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. My parents were off an d on for about four years and then they finally called it quits. I don't remember much from that time, but I do remember her not going to work and sleeping all the time. During this time my grandmother (her mom) raised my brother and me. My mom, brother, and I all lived with my grandma up until 2011. My dad was almost completely out of my life.\n\nShe has been admitted to a mental health facility/hospital at least two times and has taken many different medications and has gone to many different psychiatrists. She says none of them help her and they over medicate her.\n\nIf this matters, my dad recently told me that when I was about 11 she had a drug problem and was raped. I can't say that this is reliable information or that I believe it. It does seem to make sense though. Her three older siblings tormented her as a child.\n\nAbout 1 year ago, my grandma kicked my mom out of her house for financial issues they had. My mom was left with absolutely nothing. She had a medical leave of absence from work, no car, no money, and no home. Luckily my dad (her ex husband) saved the day and took both of us in. Within two weeks he kicked her out for her behavior and lived from home to home. Ever since then she has many financial and mental issues.\n\nAbout 4 months ago, my grandma and my mom made amends.\n\nHer mental state affects me a lot. I am the one who takes care of her 24/7 and I feel like I'm never going to have a life of my own because she depends on me so much. In the last 6 months, she has had her re-possessed and we have come close to being evicted twice.\n\nMy mom and I just got into a huge fight. I feel like I make her miserable and worse. I feel like I am her trigger. I told her this and she said \"Well if I don't have you, I might as well kill myself.\" She has said things like this before, but she seems completely serious. About fifteen minutes ago she apologized and cried that she didn't want to be alone.\n\nShe is currently not taking any medications nor is she seeing a mental health professional. She has money problems and absolutely no one to help her.\n\nI'm at a complete loss. I have no idea what I should do. I have no one else I can ask for help. I love my mom so much and would do anything to help her.\n\nSo what do you guys think I should do? How can I help my mom? What have you guys done in a situation similar to mine?", "post_id": "xdmw5", "comment_id": "c5nc6tx"}, {"question": "if she doesn't stay with her ex, she'll still need to REALLY be over him, which could take a while. i would move on, but stay in touch if it's not painful.  you never know what the future brings.....", "comment": "Last thursday this girl who ive been talking to for a long time stayed round mine for the night and we got really close and to not go into too much detail but at the end of the night i was sure that she was my girlfriend. The next day she messages me saying that she really enjoyed last night but she had to meet with her ex the next day to tell him so that he wouldnt hear from someone else and to bring their relationship to a complete end(they had dated for 4 years prior so she needed to do it). Around 5 on saturday she sends me a massive message explaining how she had feelings for me but also still had feelings for her ex. She goes on to say that she doesnt want to be in any relationship because it would be unfair on me if she still had feelings for her ex even though they werent going to get back together. She said that she does have feelings and that she really enjoyed thursday night but i really dont want to just end it because all i want right now is to be with her and it kills me because she is really torn up about it aswell and wishes that it wasnt like this.\nDo i have any chance of being with her or will i have to give up and not try anymore?", "post_id": "6ry4h2", "comment_id": "dl8kxfm"}, {"question": "As long as you feel well rested and don't feel tired during the day you're sleeping well for you. That's the only standard that matters. There are many beliefs about how to sleep optimally and what is natural for humans but very little science to back it.", "comment": "When I (adult male) get home from work I'm exhausted and sleep for a few hours. Then I'm wide awake and can't fall asleep again for a while. After my second sleep I get up for work. Is that a problem?\n\nMy schedule looks something like this: 6am Wake up for work. 6pm get home from work and sleep. 9pm wake up. 2am sleep again.\n\nI have sleep apnea if that matters. ", "post_id": "8y0r66", "comment_id": "e27bl0o"}, {"question": "Hello! I'd recommend starting off looking at therapist profiles on two websites: Psychology Today and GoodTherapy. Google those sites and type in a couple zip codes near you. You can narrow down the results to various different factors too, which you will see on the left hand side of the results.\n\nStart reading through profiles that catch your eye and see if any interest you. Pick a list of your top 3 from both sites and start giving them some calls to see if they are taking new clients and their availability.", "comment": "I live in the Fort Worth area and I\u2019m new to this area, so I know no one. Because of that it\u2019s been hard to find a good therapist. I don\u2019t know anyone for recommendations, and everything I see on google has terrible reviews. I really want to start talking to somebody but at this rate it will take me months or a year to find someone. How do y\u2019all find a therapist?", "post_id": "efxpzu", "comment_id": "fc3267n"}, {"question": "Wohoo!!", "comment": "It's really great seeing this community grow. 40k since I joined a year ago. Sober on!", "post_id": "7x6dz5", "comment_id": "du5zuj8"}, {"question": "do you have a therapist?", "comment": "I'm going to preface this by saying that I am a deeply imperfect person in many ways, and while I am usually a really good friend (loyal, caring) I make a terrible, awful girlfriend / romantic partner.  \n\nMy boyfriend and I began dating when we were 18, right after highschool finished. We had a rocky start (I didn't tell my parents about the relationship for 2 years because they were quite against me dating for other reasons - they are fine with it now and love my current boyfriend) which caused a few issues between us, and eventually led us to break up for a very short period. We always got back together and have been together for 7 years now. \n\nOver the last 7 years, we've had some relationship issues but we have always gotten through them. However, I have never really been completely honest about the fact that during the last 7 years, I have indulged in what most would consider 'emotional affairs' - no sexting or anything physical, but friendships with guys which definitely pushed boundaries where long, emotional conversations were involved and 'subtle' flirting. During each of these emotional affairs (there has been 4 in total) i've questioned my relationship with my boyfriend as i was having 'crush like' feelings for these guys and knew they would probably be physical with me if I gave them the opportunity. All those emotional affairs usually ended when they realised I was never leaving my boyfriend and then my boyfriend and I would go back to normal. \n\nIn the last few months I have been going to therapy and realised that I have depression and may have something called 'histrionic personality disorder' (not that it excuses my shitty behaviour) which may explain some of what has been going on. In my mind I know i love my boyfriend. I don't want to be with anyone else. I think he is funny, attractive, caring, not jealous or paranoid..essentially the perfect guy. He has a video game addiction that has made him really slow with finishing college, but really thats one of his only (few) flaws. Our sex life is...not great. I feel my sexual attraction to him has waned over the years. I feel as if I need the validation and attention from new guys constantly. These short flings with other guys make me feel excited and happy. The weird thing is, I lived overseas for college for 2 years where I felt professionally really fulfilled and the emotional affairs stopped. I had none while overseas, away from my boyfriend. Now that i've returned home to a much smaller job market, the intense emotional affairs have started up again and this time I made the horrible decision to kiss one of them. I am not going to tell my boyfriend that I kissed another guy because it would plainly destroy him and I don't think one kiss is worth the emotional turmoil it would put him through. Yes, I know this is an awful thing to do, but the decision has been made. \n\nMy question basically is - what can I do to really change? Therapy has made me aware of my actions and feelings, but not enough to explicitly change them. When I drink or smoke pot, I am even more susceptible to the behaviour. I still dress provocatively and use my appearance (i'm fairly attractive) to get attention from the opposite sex. I have a really bubbly personality and a pretty good sense of humour, so guys feel quite comfortable around me. I still get a dopamine rush when I get attention from someone of the opposite sex, and always end up following it up despite myself. I want to change for my boyfriend. I want to become a better person and I don't want to be this way - but how do I change something that seems so deeply rooted in my personality? I've noticed the same personality issues with my father, who has had two emotional affairs with other women during his marriage to my mother. They are still together. I don't want to become him, and I certainly don't want to marry my boyfriend only to continue to do this shit to him. My options are to end what he essentially thinks is a perfectly happy relationship, continue living with a lie and really try and change for the future, or just accept I should never be in a long term relationship. I would like to know how to do the second option, and if it's impossible, how to explain to my boyfriend what kind of person I really am without making him feel as if he has lived a lie for 7 years. I want him to get out of this as unscathed as possible.  \n\nPlease help. If you have been through something like this, any advice would be appreciated.  ", "post_id": "66h3a0", "comment_id": "dgihta6"}, {"question": "Check out this book by Susan Cain.  I think you'll get a lot out of it.  I think the title itself probably speaks to your experience.  \n\n\nQuiet:  The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking", "comment": "I\u2019m 24F and mostly thinking of this because I\u2019ve started grad school and I\u2019m being put into more social situations. I used to be the grumpy I hate talking to people type, but I dealt with some mental illness issues and after addressing those and working customer service my demeanor has changed, but I still have a hard time being the talkative type. \n \nI\u2019m very self conscious of my quietness. I went to a meeting with some of my peers and two of the girls dominated the conversation. I had to interrupt to get a word in edgewise and I felt bad because I was mostly insecure for just listening and what I had to say was mostly awkward and forced. But that\u2019s the thing- I just like listening. Recently an event put my demeanor in perspective. I was with my BF and his uncle who he never sees. His uncle is a successful man with great stories and my BF holds a conversation very well. For the duration of two hours I just listened. I was self conscious at the time but my BF later said that his uncle thought it was nice I let them carry out their personal conversation while being interested and just listening to their anecdotes. I don\u2019t know if that sounds bad, but I had nothing to say. I was merely enjoying their stories. \n\nHis dad also commented that he likes people who don\u2019t try to commands conversations and are observant. Is this true? A lot of obnoxiously extroverted people have made me feel very uncomfortable for being quiet. Some people are very understanding and talk to me one-on-one, which is a setting I thrive in. That\u2019s when I can open up. I don\u2019t have a mean face and when people tell jokes I always laugh or smile and offer reinforcment that they seem to appreciate. But I mostly keep to myself. \n\nIs this \u201cokay\u201d? Should I try to change this? I know it\u2019s subjective but I get in my head about it a lot. I don\u2019t think I have the confidence to possibly accept (or defend) this part of myself. ", "post_id": "97febe", "comment_id": "e48cbcv"}, {"question": "To what everyone else has said, 100% agree. I also suggest seeking counseling; as adjustments/grief can come up with being disabled. This is a transition for you. Seek out a support system/group too.\n\nIt's a lot that has been lost. I'm sorry. You can still make meaning with your life.", "comment": "I\u2019m devastated. I had a brain infection about 8 months ago that took away my ability to walk. Doctors all said it would usually go away, but no guarantees. I was really hopeful but now that we are so far out I don\u2019t think it will heal anymore.\n\nMy right leg has healed but my left leg has been extremely shaky and wobbly for two months. I can\u2019t balance on it.\n\nI\u2019m devastated. I can\u2019t accept that I\u2019m disabled. How do you cope? I miss my old life. I miss walking. I\u2019m really lost and struggling. Life used to be good but this was dropped on me out of nowhere, I just woke up one day and couldn\u2019t walk. And I feel so alone.", "post_id": "dj7okb", "comment_id": "f4509ms"}, {"question": "The right answer depends on which scheme you're using. Obesity as a medical condition is largley defined as excess body fat. Obesity as a diagnostic category is usually diagnosed and stratified by BMI, which is compares weight to height\u2014that's what the NIH and WHO use, among other organizations.\n\nI think you were asked a bad question.", "comment": "In my health class review, the definition of obese is a person with a large amount of body fat, and the incorrect answer is a person who weighs more than what is appropriate for his or her height. Wouldnt it be both?", "post_id": "eb2yyv", "comment_id": "fb1l6cp"}, {"question": "Since it is now over 5 hours ago since you posted I hope you were able to finish it okay!", "comment": "TL;DR: got distracted looking through Pinterest at Miraculous fanart, now it's 4:30 and I probably won't go to bed. Yay, me.\n\nSo, yeah, I have known about this paper since Wednesday, but I got busy doing other things (mainly internet and netflix related). Now, it's 4:30 am the day it is due, and I have been on the internet since 11:00. I have to wake up at 7:00 am. I'm probably going to end up watching netflix once I'm done with my paper, because otherwise, I'm not going to get up in time for class.\n\n*sigh* just a rant. Carry on with your day (or night, I guess). Start your homework, if you haven't already. Go to bed. Do something more productive than Reddit.\n\nGoodbye for now, everyone!", "post_id": "635b91", "comment_id": "dfsawm9"}, {"question": "The first example with OCD is something called an accommodation. If this person gets treatment for OCD one of the things to address will be NOT making these anymore. However it is important that  reducing accommodations is done in a gradual therapeutic way just like gold standard treatment for OCD, ERP. Same thing with anxiety. Ultimately these accommodations serve to keep the disorder going so they aren\u2019t helpful long term. However to get these people to buy into their not being reductive they have to be willing to work through challenging emotions. Otherwise all you do is set limits and boundaries and  focus on what you can control. \n\nNow with autism specifically it is a little diffeeent and if you love and care about someone in the spectrum you may have to get used to the fact that some people are wired differently and have different preferences and needs.  This might not be something easily modifiable or changeable.", "comment": "Bob (42M) has self diagnosed OCD, and he likes things just so. So we all missed a movie once because when we were on our way out the door, he noticed he had a hole in his sock, and he had to stop and pull out a needle and thread and fix his sock right there while six of us waited for him, and then when he was done we had missed the movie. I do not remember why we couldn't all just go without him, which we definitely should have done. I do not know why he couldn't have changed into a different pair of socks and repaired the holey one later that night. I do not know why he could not have simply put up with the annoyance of a holey sock for a couple hours. Ever been uncomfortable? Sure, we all have. On another occasion, we were three hours late to an event because right as we were leaving, Bob suddenly decided he had to polish all the shoes he owned, and he couldn't leave (and apparently no one else could either) until he did.\n\nStephanie (27F) has self diagnosed anxiety, so she's frequently asking us not to do or discuss things that trigger her.  So basically, if she doesn't like it, our friend group is not doing it or talking about it.\n\nTrish's (49F) adult son Lance (20M) has autism and he likes to eat his food a certain way. Fine. Except that when we gather as a group, we all have to eat in Lance's special way, or Lance will go into a full melt down.\n\nSo I understand having personal preferences, even unreasonable or silly personal preferences. But I do not understand the impulse to impose those preferences on everyone else in the room.\n\nThese stories and millions of stories just like them make it sound as if people with a mental illness are just selfish and rude.\n\nSince that's not likely the case, is there someone here who can help me understand?", "post_id": "jwqzlm", "comment_id": "gcsth47"}, {"question": "This is a topic that evokes strong feelings. Please do not share your anecdotes, unsourced opinions, or anger.", "comment": "Hi everyone, to preface this, I know this can be a divisive topic, and if you feel like being vitriolic, don't waste your energy. I'm not trying to offend, before I make a decision on anything, I want to have as much info as I can.\n\nWe're expecting a son at the end of August, and I've been researching myself, but I have yet to talk to a doctor over this, mainly because of COVID. I have reasons both for and against it, but a lot aren't medical, and I'm only really looking for medical reasons for and against it. \n\nThank you in advance.\n\n\\-> Tagged NSFW just in case.", "post_id": "hc3pmf", "comment_id": "fvco5kb"}, {"question": "1.  HALT - don't let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.\n2.  Your ego wants you to drink again, and will stop at nothing to isolate you and get you to do so.\n3.  Relapse doesn't happen when you drink again, it happens when your old thought and behavior patterns creep back in.\n\n*Accidentally a letter", "comment": "Here's the situation you're talking to someone who is trying to quit/has quit alcohol and wants to stay off the sauce, but you only have time to give them 3 pieces of advice.\nWhat are your 3 bits of advice to them?", "post_id": "147i6x", "comment_id": "c7amhef"}, {"question": "Everyone is labeled in dozens of ways.  It is not the fact that someone is labeled that is hurtful.  It is how others use that label and  how a child is taught to perceive their own labels.\n\nThere is a big difference between \"Hey son, it turns out you have Asperger's Syndrome.  Here is what it is.  It's really cool for these reasons, but sometimes it makes things difficult for these other reasons.  It's just one piece of who you are and we aren't going to make a big deal about it, we will just know it's something to consider.\"\n\nAND\n\n\"Son, you have Asperger's Syndrome.  You are going to have a lot of problems in your future.  You will probably have a lot of trouble making friends and understanding other people because you are so different.  But, we are going to get you every type of help imaginable so that you can succeed, because you obviously can't do it on your own.\"\n\nSame diagnosis, different approach from parents, two incredibly different outcomes.\n\nAnyway, I was diagnosed with AS at the age of 29.  I am very glad that I know now, because it explains so much about myself and helps me to plan I life for myself that won't be overwhelming.  It is nice not taking stabs in the dark, hoping that I won't overwhelm myself.  \n\nPart of me is glad I didn't know when I was a kid, because I am afraid my parents might have gone overboard and made me feel... well, just weird about it.\n\nI don't think diagnosis is a problem at all as long as parents are \"cool\" about it.  it doesn't need to be revealed to every teacher or every parent of a child your kid plays with, It's just something to be aware of and to help explain and solve problems as they arise.", "comment": "r/aspergers, sorry if this is not the right place for this post.  I guess I'm looking for feedback from people who did and did not have \"official\" diagnoses in their early years in school, as well as from parents of aspie/ppd-nos kids, especially hyperlexic ones.  \n\n--\n\nIs there any truth to the pervasive fear of labels out there?  I have family members, including my mother, who are or were primary school educators and who feel strongly that, except in severe cases, diagnosis--\"labeling\"-- can be bad for kids.  My mom formed her views during the first real wave of ADD diagnoses, and she did NOT approve.\n\nI have a 4 year old hyperlexic son without a diagnosis.  He's been in speech therapy for years even without an official dx, so we haven't been simply \"watching and waiting\", but we have stopped short of seeking an official diagnosis.  My extended family and my husband feel that we're doing the right thing by not labeling him at 4 1/2.  I was willing to reserve judgement for a while, since he didn't qualify for early intervention anyway and wasnt old enough for school-- but he's OBVIOUSLY on the spectrum.  He is textbook hyperlexic-- early reader, letter/ number obsession, delayed conversational speech, delayed social skills.  Space cadet.  He is not a textbook aspie in any other ways, and I am aware that many hyperlexic kids seem to \"outgrow\" their ASD characteristics.  Some people believe it to be a seperate condition with overlapping presentation.  In either case, I can't see any harm to getting him officially evaluated.  I'm sure he is diagnosable at present-- probably PPD-NOS, possibly Asperger's.  If he's one of the kids that ends up loosing the dx, well then, he looses it.  No harm done-- right?  If he's not, then we've got it as a bargaining chip in dealing with the school district.  Also, though I've spent the last few years self-educating as well as possible on hyperlexia and ASD (and I can confidently say I know more about hyperlexia than any school officials or therapists I've met with in person so far), it's certainly possible that gaining a diagnosis could get us access to information or strategies we don't already know about.  My gut says it won't open any new doors for us, but I could certainly be wrong.\n\nAlso, I know the question will come up with his teachers in kindergarten and first grade and I fear I will loose credibility with them if we haven't covered all the bases-- \"You've suspected ASD since he was two and still haven't had him evaluated?\".  I'm afraid they'll consider me a system-fearing crackpot.  Like an anti-vaxer or something like that.  The reason i care what they think:  we are going to need his teachers on our side because 1) he's probably not going to qualify for an IEP (at least not without fighting for it-- which will require a diagnosis) and 2) he's going to present them with a challenging combination of gifted and socially delayed qualities.  Is this a realistic fear, or will teachers work with us in good faith even if they know we chose not to get him diagnosed?\n\nOr should I respect my husband's/ family's wishes, and not do this?  Could a diagnosis be more trouble than it's worth, considering we already know he doesn't qualify for early intervention and he's already getting speech?  Could it do my son actual harm-- to his sense of self, to his trajectory through school as a labeled kid?\n\n--\n\nTL;dr:  My son definitely has hyperlexia.  My family is afraid that a label will box my son in.  I am afraid that he'll slip through the cracks without one.  ", "post_id": "vbm2g", "comment_id": "c538yjl"}, {"question": "I am not a surgeon.\n\nThis depends very much on the timeline. For some time post\\-operatively there will necessarily be pneumoperitoneum because of gas pumped into the abdomen during surgery, and post\\-operative ileus is likewise expected. Having abdominal pain, fatigue, and feeling \"off\" are normal responses to surgery. Depending on how long after surgery, or if there are other symptoms, appropriate responses could range from reassurance to close observation to emergency surgery.\n\nThere's not enough information here to know what the appropriate response would be.", "comment": "First of all,let me start off by saying I have no medical issues at all.  I have a question I would like an answer to.  It is not for any current health condition, I am just curious how doctors would answer this question, so I do not know if I still need to specify my age, whether I'm male or female, etc.\n\nMy question is this:\n\nYou have a patient that has had laparoscopic abdominal surgery.   He complains of abdominal pain, appears fatigued and says he feels off.  A CT scan is performed and the report comes back and says that he has ileus as well as pneumoperitoneum most likely from the surgery.  How do you respond to that report?", "post_id": "8ez421", "comment_id": "dxzaw61"}, {"question": "The best way to act stupid and awkward is to worry about acting stupid and awkward.   Relax, take a few deep breathes and remember.  The worst case scenario is that she doesn't like you.   That's about as bad as it gets.   It doesn't feel great, but it's not going to ruin your life.   \n\nAlso, no matter what happens you will learn something from this and it will help you in the future.   So even if it doesn't go great, the next time will be better.  \n\nSo just take it easy, focus on getting to know her and enjoy her company.   Oh and she's probably just as nervous as you ", "comment": "So yesterday, i was bored and it was 2am. One girl posted her ask.fm link and because we both love the same music style (classic rock, fuck yeah) i started asking her questions about bands etc.\n\n\nWe were texting for the whole night, we ended up saying goodbye to eachother at 5am. I refused to text her on facebook, because i hate meeting people on this stupid site, i prefer meeting people, especially girls in real life, because i had a lot more success with them irl than on facebook.\n\n\nAnyway, looks like we'll go to the same concert this saturday and she said that I need to immediatly talk to her if i see her there. I'm still new at meeting girls since i never had self confidence but since hitting the gym, my mentality changed and so did my confidence. I'm looking for tips on how to approach to this girl without being goofy and awkward at all. I'm also looking for more than friendship, so maybe any flirting tips? \n\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "3gyn5c", "comment_id": "cu2sfvn"}, {"question": "My best guess (and it is just a guess, as I don\u2019t know your brother and haven\u2019t assessed him) is that he may dealing with some issues and/or mental health symptoms that you aren\u2019t aware of. While some degree of social withdrawal/general assholery is to be expected in teenagers, it does seem like his behavior is on the more extreme end of that spectrum. Teenage boys in particular often outwardly express any kind of distress as anger, as our society doesn\u2019t teach boys that it\u2019s ok to feel sad or scared or some other type of \u201cweak\u201d emotion. We could make a million guesses at what\u2019s happening in his life that has led to his angry and antisocial behavior, but frankly it isn\u2019t your job to figure it out. You aren\u2019t responsible for his emotional well-being - that is for him and your parents to manage. And I get that it isn\u2019t something you can realistically ignore or avoid all the time, since you live in the same house. Have you ever talked to your parents about how he treats you, and how it makes you feel/the impact it is having on you? They need to hear that, and maybe need to hear it again if you\u2019ve brought it up in the past. You might also think about asking them to get you in with a therapist for yourself. It can be really good to have someone to talk to who isn\u2019t involved in the situation, and who\u2019s focus is entirely on providing you with support. It couldn\u2019t hurt to try! \n\nI hope things get easier for you.", "comment": " What can I do....in regards to this relationship. \n\n#  My brother consistently looks at me like he hates me. \n\nWe both live at home, I am generally the nicer one. He is very anti social, no friends, and has seemed unhappy depressed and angry most of his life.\n\nI can relate to the antisocial no real relationships bit, but i guess I act more cordial than he does. I can hold my own and be extroverted if i need to be.\n\nBut like just a few minutes ago i pass him in this house, he is two years older btw, and I mention something to him....just an antidote about my workday last week and meeting a radio dj we both used to listen to.\n\nI first asked him a question about how his school was going, then after started to tell him the story. He looks at me like i am scum of the universe. Like he freaking hates me. But then sort of begrudgingly sort of gives me , \"oh cool\"....\"ha\". And then proceeds to not talk further. He talks very monotone and just has this shit look on his face if you try and engage him in anyway.\n\nSome background...he was my bully growing up. Abusive type older brother, he was always picking fights, and often just totally abusive and cruel. We eventually grew up but he still seems to be an asshole. And he is that way toward everyone it seems.\n\nI dont talk to him or engage nearly as much as I would normally to someone i live with. Because he is this way....i often will not talk and just walk by. But it gets really trying and annoying.\n\nHe has once or twice brought of his personality and said 'he knows he is antisocial at times, but its not personal.' Maybe not....or maybe he just acts this way toward everyone so its indeed not specific or personal to one person but all people! I kind of dont buy the not personal.....like he is saying, its just neutral.\n\nAnyway....anyone ever known or lived with this.. Any advice.", "post_id": "c4f9ps", "comment_id": "es72ci1"}, {"question": "Probably because it's a standard, automated post-op order set.", "comment": "I work as a case manager and this one drives me nuts a lot. The patient should be up and walking shorty after surgery, and often goes home the same day or next day.\n\nWhy would an SCD be indicated in this situation?", "post_id": "9dmx6x", "comment_id": "e5io0g3"}, {"question": "There\u2019s an untrue assumption that most people have that you can\u2019t have two opposite emotions at the same time. That\u2019s bull crap, you can totally be happy and laughing at the exact time that you are in great pain on the inside. You can have moments of connection, happiness, laughter but still have depression. What are 3 things that you need to do to make your environment safe? What are 3 things you can do to distract yourself or take your mind off of this so that you can stop the spiraling thoughts you have? Try to do that, take some deep breaths. There is no shame in asking for help, and if a professional or a friend makes you feel shame or doesn\u2019t believe your pain, that is their problem and NOT yours! You deserve to connect with somebody who will see your pain, listen and validate you.", "comment": "i\u2019m unstable, i\u2019m not depressed but i\u2019m unstable. At least i don\u2019t think i\u2019m depressed. It\u2019s just one minute i\u2019m laughing and loving being alive and the next i\u2019m shaking, slitting lines down my leg, digging my fingernails in my neck and crying. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with me. I don\u2019t know how to ask for help because i don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with me. I don\u2019t want people to see me laughing at the good times and just tell me i\u2019m fine and think i\u2019m lying about the other bad parts like every other shrink i\u2019ve been to has done. People don\u2019t take me seriously so there\u2019s no point in asking for help. I\u2019ve been like this for years and it\u2019s only now getting bad again. I\u2019ve been several months clean up until today. I don\u2019t know what to do. I feel fucking crazy. someone help me please", "post_id": "butjxo", "comment_id": "ephneth"}, {"question": "The counselor is there to help you, that is their job. They will probably ask you some basic questions about how you are feeling, they may even give you a questionnaire to see if you might have depression, or refer you to a mental health counselor or psychologist. \n\nDon't worry, it's okay to talk to them about anything.", "comment": "I've never really had anyone to talk to about how I feel, and when I tried talking to my mom she yelled at me. The next day, she set me up to talk to my guidance counselor at school. I have no idea what to expect and I'm really nervous.\n\nAny advice?", "post_id": "e5p2vh", "comment_id": "f9l5s3i"}, {"question": "Are there parallels between the situation with your therapists and situations/relationships in your personal life?", "comment": "​\n\nI went to therapy after already going through few shitty therapists. This one was different. She finally got me and I really liked her even though at first we got a bit of an argument.\n\nDespite this I was forced to leave her because she worked at a medical company in which I had bought a subscription and it turned out that meetings with psychologist were limited. I had no money so I had to take a break from her. When she heard that she said that she is sad about it and tried to persuade me to stay. I asked her if that was about the money to which she replied that she gets paid for sitting there no matter what. But I remember her saying that she could get a lot of money through occupational medicine which implies that she gets paid per patient. on the other hand she has a rich bf and probably doesn't have to worry about money. When I was leaving we hugged and stared at each other's eyes. She also told me to email her how my exams for uni turned out.\n\nI went back to her after about 3 months. I noticed that she shook my hand at the beginning and end of the session (earlier we did that maybe one or two times. refused to hug though. said that it was a boundary crossing.) She said that she really likes me and it gives her to see me. I also noticed that during the session she revealed a very intimate part of information about her (maybe not fully deliberate. it was more like a suggestion)\n\nIs she trying to trick me into going more to her? I'm planning to anyway. It's cool that she likes me but is she honest? Maybe I am too paranoid. during the session I told her that I think I start getting depressed and it looked like she was trying to help the best she could. After some time I also started getting resentful towards my previous therapists so maybe it's something wrong with me?", "post_id": "c287kk", "comment_id": "erjcu3j"}, {"question": "Polite reminder : you are responsible for your mental illness", "comment": "Do not let BPD define you as a person, its only a part of you.\n\nTake care of yourselves \u2665\ufe0f", "post_id": "eg58sa", "comment_id": "fc5btmr"}, {"question": "Me too!  There is actually a concept called \"Paralysis of Will\" for ADHD.  When presented with a task, our minds can shut down from being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. It has nothing to do with being \"Lazy\".   ", "comment": "Soooo I just noticed that when I get totally overwhelmed, I drop everything and look at Reddit or other sites.  Good to know.\n\nHope everyone reading this has a really great day!", "post_id": "60vvpc", "comment_id": "dfa1h6w"}, {"question": "There isn't much in a CBC that can suggest causes for repeated infection except dramatically low WBC or specific immune cell lines, all of which aren't present. Low eosinophils would rarely cause concern and would make you possibly more vulnerable to parasitic infections, not anything you're likely to encounter in the developed world.", "comment": "23, white M, 140 lbs, 5'8\", southeast US, no medication, no allergies, no serious medical history.\n\nIn January, I began falling ill relatively frequently. Seemingly the same or very similar symptoms every time--sore throat, drainage, ear pressure, fever, chills. A couple times my eyes become red and crusty like pink eye. I wear biweekly contacts and sometimes worry I don't take enough care with cleaning. Occasionally but not always accompanied by cough. Doctor diagnosed as conjunctivitis a few times, strep throat once, allergies a few times, and bacterial infections. I've taken 4 or 5 rounds of antibiotics this year. The symptoms always respond positively to antibiotics.\n\nI work a high-stress full-time job where I am on my feet managing an extremely high volume retail setting with lots of person-to-person contact. During the school year I am a full-time student and the weeks of 5 days at work and 2 days in class are taxing. I don't exercise as much as I should but I am in good shape. I eat pretty poorly as a result of my schedule.\n\nThis is becoming far too frequent for me to comfortably attribute to anything like stress or bad luck. I had a CBC performed on 3/1 and there were 3 flags. Full CBC below:\n\n* WBC 7.2 (3.8-11.5)\n* RBC 4.69 (4.20-5.70)\n* HGB 15.0 (14.0-18.0)\n* HCT 41.3 (42.2-53.8)****\n* MCV 88.1 (79.0-99.0)\n* MCH 32.0 (26.9-35.0)\n* MCHC 36.3 (30.4-34.8)****\n* RDW 39.3 (38.2-53.0)\n* Platelets 288 (137-397)\n* Neutrophils 74.6 (41.0-77.0)\n* Lymphocytes 16.9 (14.0-48.0)\n* Monocytes 7.2 (4.0-13.0)\n* Eosinophils 0.3 (1.0-8.0)****\n* Basophils 0.6 (0.0-1.5)\n\nIf anyone sees anything of note in these results I'd appreciate the time to let me know. If anyone has any idea of what next steps to take in order to stop getting these infections, I'd appreciate advice too. Thanks so much for reading this.", "post_id": "c7jwif", "comment_id": "esfpit9"}, {"question": "Depending on what state youre in, there might resources available specifically for people and his position. Utah has some really great ones", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "cgh5cp", "comment_id": "eui0h9w"}, {"question": "Escitalopram to cause priapism? That's fucking insane. Surprised it made you suffer suicidal thoughts, but sorry to hear that.\n\nWhat's your energy levels like? Still getting pleasure out of your typical hobbies/interests?", "comment": "Hi All,\n\nUsing a throwaway today.  Not sure where to start so I\u2019m just gonna start.\n\n* **About Me**:\n* **Age**: 31\n* **Sex**: Male\n* **Height**: 6\u20192\n* **Weight**: 185\n* **Race**: Caucasian\n* **Sexual Orientation**: Gay\n* **Duration**: Mid 2016 until now \n* **Current Medication**: Daily generic Cialis\n* **Other Medical Information**\n\t\n-Born with Pectus Excavatum.  Had it repaired twice with Ravitch and Nuss Bar procedures\n\t\n-Was misdiagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse for years.  I DO have occasional heart rhythm issues, \t\tand a cardiac ablation has been recommended\n\n\n**Quick Summary**\nOver the last 8 months my libido and ability to achieve and maintain an erection has slowly disappeared.  I currently have no libido at all.  No desire to have sex or be sexual.  I don\u2019t get horny.  I\u2019m able to masturbate occasionally (but not always) if I \u2018remind\u2019 myself.  It feels like someone flipped the switch and turned me off.  \n\n**I have been as proactive as possible and have \u2026** \n\n* seen a sex therapist for 6 months who can\u2019t seem to diagnose what is going on, \n* had a (thankfully) \u2018unremarkable\u2019 ultrasound of my organs and testicles \n* took lexapro FOR potential priapism (thanks doc) but got super depressed and stopped\n* been to two urologists both said that my equipment is working fine, \n* tried viagra/ cialis (daily)/ vitamin D/ to no avail\n* changed my eating habits and started exercising regularly \n* even attempted seeking out other partners\n* I rarely get morning erections if I\u2019m taking the daily cialis.  If I\u2019m not taking cialis I don\u2019t get anything at all.\n\n**My current hope is to see an endocrinologist on March 1st who I\u2019m hoping will be able to identify something that isn\u2019t right**\n\n**Current Situation**\nI\u2019m at my wits end.  I\u2019m getting depressed.  Starting not to care about work and other relationships.  I know this is putting strain on my BF, who has stuck by my side throughout everything.  Without his support I would truly be lost.  I\u2019ve withdrawn from my family.  I need some help.  I need SOMEONE to tell me I\u2019m not crazy, and help me figure out what is going on so that I can get back on track.  I fear that this is all related to something bigger and the longer it goes without diagnosis the worse it is going to be when I finally figure it out.  **Please help**.\n\n**As much background info as I can muster**\n\n\n**Background**\n\nI\u2019ve never had a super high sex drive.  When single I would kinda passively look for partners (on grindr etc), and masturbate a few times a week, every day of the week, or sometimes maybe skip a week.  I know some friends that need to masturbate once or even several times a day.  That's never been me, but I've never had NO sex drive (until now.)\n\nGrowing up, I had some body dysmorphia (from my Pectus Excavatum), and i didn't come out of the closet until my early twenties.  I didn\u2019t have the same sexual experiences as some (most?) do as adolescents and young adults.  That being said, I do of course like sex and being sexual, topping and bottoming (though I\u2019m pretty much a bottom).  I just didn\u2019t get as much \u2018practice\u2019 as I would have liked to.  I did come out, and have been sexually active for about 10 years so I don\u2019t think there\u2019s really any issues there.  I\u2019m not sure of the relevance of my previous sexual experience, but want to be as complete as possible.  Of course I was much hornier in my earlier twenties.\n\n\n**The problem**\n\nAll that being said, late last summer I started losing my libido.  It was gradual at first, and then disappeared almost completely.  Around the same time I met an amazing, wonderful kind and caring guy who absolutely lights up my life.  At first we could have sex and I could stay hard, but by the end of the year not only had I lost my libido but also my ability to get and stay hard all together.  Throughout everything he has been my rock, been by my side and has just been generally wonderful.  I was and am sexually attracted to him.\n\n\n**The summer- PREP / The first BLOOD TEST**\n\nThe first half of 2016 was actually the most active I had been in a while, with 1-2 partners a month between Jan-August.  Usually just one night stands, but a few repeats.  Due to the frequency I was hooking up I decided to get on Truvada.  I passed the blood test and STD check and started taking it daily in July.  I stopped in September when my (now) BF and I decided to be exclusive.  My doc did notice that my testosterone was low (unfortunately I don't know how low off the top of my head, but I can reach out), so he recommended I take a big fat vitamin D pill every Friday for a month.  He did conclude later that it was low because my test was in the mid morning, not first thing in the morning.\n\n\n**Anxiety and weight loss**\n\nI started having a harder and harder time getting erect, or finding interest in sex.  It scared me.  I\u2019m 30.  This shouldn\u2019t happen.  A few times in the beginning I was able to initiate sex with my BF, but then my erection just faded away.  This also happened when I eventually tried Viagra and Cialis.  I would get emotional, I would feel like crying. I would cry.  **It has been the most frustrating thing I\u2019ve ever dealt with in my entire life.**  I went to my GP in July who said there was no way this was an actual problem for a guy my age, and recommended \u2018tequila\u2019. \n\nAround the same time I started losing weight.  I dropped from around 195 lbs to 183 over the course of about a month.  I felt it was due to anxiety and stress over my inability to get hard or have sex with my boyfriend.  It was at this point that I could tell my GP was a bit worried so he had me go have an ultrasound of my organs and testicles.  Everything came back \u2018unremarkable\u2019 (which is a good thing!). \n\n\n**Therapist** \n\nAround this time (October) I started seeing a sex therapist, hoping maybe he could help shed some light on the issues I was having and hopefully help me figure everything out.  He\u2019s a great, sympathetic guy, but so far nothing concrete has come from our sessions.  We have very recently discussed the possibility of **Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD)**.  This scares me, but it is the most logical explanation I\u2019ve been able to find so far.\n\n\n**Lexapro**\n\nSure that my previously mentioned weight loss was due to anxiety over my situation, my GP recommended I try the Lexapro antidepressant because (bonus) it had potential priapism side effects.  It sounds ridiculous I know but I was willing to try anything.  After about a week on the Lexapro I got super depressed and even had suicidal thoughts (which I had NEVER had before), so I quit cold turkey and started feeling better almost immediately.  \n\n\n**Urologists**\n\nConvinced that there was something physically wrong I went to a urologist in October.  He performed a blood test and a week later said my testosterone was fine (low end of normal.  450?) and recommended Viagra or Cialis.  I tried Viagra, and I tried daily cialis.  I was able to achieve an erection sometimes, generally when I was alone, and never with my boyfriend for more than a few minutes.  I spoke to another Urologist for a second opinion in December, who took one look at me and recommended Cialis.  The Cialis and Viagra cost me ~1000 for 3 months of failure.  The Viagra pills are about $45 each!\n\n**Note:** I get the feeling that neither of them took me seriously.  I do also understand that there doesn\u2019t appear to be anything physically wrong with my penis (specifically) because I do get the occasional erection, and do get them more often (though incredibly infrequent) when taking the dick pills. \n\n\n**Endocrinologist**\n\nI have an upcoming appointment with an endocrinologist.  I  started writing this report for her, to give as much information as possible.  I\u2019m hoping that maybe something I\u2019ve written will make sense and help diagnose some issue that can hopefully get treated!!\n\n\n**Other random information**\n\nPrednisone  \n- I had an odd allergic reaction in my throat and on my skin in August 2016.  I had a rash up the side of my body and had an itchy throat / had difficulty swallowing.  I went to urgent care who checked for strep, and then decided it was an allergic reaction.  They diagnosed Benadryl and Prednisone, which I took for a few days until the symptoms went away.\n\nScabies\n-\tAround the time that all of this started happening, or at least when I started noticing something wasn\u2019t right I had some red spots on the head of my penis, as well as some itching.  When they didn\u2019t go away I went to my GP who diagnosed them as HSV2, and prescribed valtrex.  I took the valtrex for a week before seeing a dermatologist who said they were in fact scabies sores.  I ended up putting on the cream, and everything went away.  I did have similar symptoms about a month ago, with a spot in the same area.  The second time the dermatologist just gave me a pill.  Everything went away until about a week ago when there was an itchy red spot on my penis again, which has since disappeared.\n\n\n\n\n\nedits - formatting", "post_id": "5vdlne", "comment_id": "de1h74v"}, {"question": "Costco pharmacy (here in California) doesn't require a prescription for syringes with needles.", "comment": "Basically, my doctor keeps forgetting to refill my needles prescription, so I can\u2019t take accompanying medicine.  It\u2019s extremely obnoxious, playing phone tag with him, the pharmacy, the insurance company etc.  seriously, I have spent hours just trying to get my prescriptions filled.  I got fed up and just ordered a bunch online.  They look legitimate and new(individually wrapped), same brand I was prescribed etc.  however, I know counterfeits are a thing, so I\u2019m just wondering if there is any real risk here. Can I catch anything?  35yo male 6\u2019 250lbs hypogonadism.", "post_id": "blykjw", "comment_id": "emsl4fp"}, {"question": "Benzodiazepines are relatively safe drugs medically, but from a clinical guidelines perspective at least where I live they are not generally considered first line treatments for anxiety disorders except in the case of specific phobias that are encountered very rarely.\n\nWithout knowing the whole story, of course you should go with what your doctor says and it's not unreasonable - but I wonder if you've tried/could you afford any kind of psychotherapy to help you find other ways to cope with your anxiety?", "comment": "A specific event I participate in gives me bad anxiety so my Dr. gave me a prescription of .5mg Klonopin to take ahead of time. I'd take one a couple times a week, tops.\n\n**Am I playing with fire here? Is it safe to take one every few days or so?** I've never been addicted to a drug (I've taken opiates for Kidney stones before and was fine afterwards).\n\nAll the talk I found on Google makes me nervous to even take one Klonopin.\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "4rktr8", "comment_id": "d526nm2"}, {"question": "Sounds like drug induced mania to me. Given the relatively successful resolution of symptoms and lack of other cognitive/functional deficits, it's less likely to be schizophrenia.\n\nI hope you've told your prescriber that you've stopped your meds (abrupt discontinuation not advised for your specific meds!) ", "comment": "Hello. I'm 20 years old and last year I had, what I believe to have been a schitzophrenic episode. I'm almost positive that's what it was, but what I was diagnosed with officially was actually bipolar disorder. Anyway I want to share my experience in hopes that there are other people out there who have had similar experiences. \n\nFor about three months I lived in a totally different world. I believed that I was communicating with other beings and traveling different dimensions. It all started when I went to Beach Goth 2015. I was on acid. During a performance, I felt a weird connection with the music and specifically the lead singer. Something told me the singer and I were connected. Of course, I was on acid, so later when the acid wore off I didn't think about it. Flash forward to 2016. One day I'm drunk and admit to a friend that I think this same singer and I are soulmates, I'm still perfectly sane at this point, but something inside me just makes me say it. February comes and I go out to see the same band. This time the show is much much smaller, and I notice the singer look directly at me before they start. He smiled real wide and I got so shy because he was hot. Then 2 weeks later I go see the same band yet again, at a different venue. Before they start he spots me again and smiles and motions at me to get closer. During the show I see a blue string like wave coming from his throat, and I swear, swear swear SWEAR, that I can move the crowd with my hands. I sway my hands to the left, and the crowd sways to the left, I sway them to the right and the crowd moves to the right. Also when I sing the entire crowd starts to sing too. I experienced the same things at Beach Goth, except this time I wasn't on acid. I barely smoked some resin because I had run out of weed. That night might've been my last night of blissful sanity. \n\nThe next day I go the park and cry, for some reason. I don't know why. I wonder if I'm Telekinetic. And I wonder if this guy is my soulmate. I only started thinking he was my soulmate after googling the symptoms that I felt. (Why google, why!) \n\nAfter this I got really into meditation and astral projection. One night I could've sworn I was visited by an astral being while I was awake. Something told me it was him. At this point I still wasn't as crazy as I would later become, I was still very sane and productive but as the days went by I lost it. Slowly I went more and more insane and about a month later I'm convinced that I'm talking to this guy every day through my mind, that he visits me through some sort of astral presence or whatever. I meditate and I see images in my head. Crazy stuff man. I can't remember the details but I would see very vivid images. I thought I was traveling through space through my mind. I would meditate for an hour and hear \"God\". At one point I thought Satan was inside me. I would have these delusions of cyborgs. I would talk to fictional movie/Tv characters. I almost ran in front of a moving car because I thought I would become an angel and enter a different world. I would hallucinate. I thought I was god. I stopped eating, I would spend all my time in my room. I stopped talking to people. Every hour of the day I was inside my head going through some crazy made up adventure. This lasted months. I was completely delusional. \n\nThere is so much that happened in my mind and I kept it in a journal but due to the same inasinity I lost the journal. \n\nEventually I started taking pills, resperedol and lithium, and eventually it all went away. Now I'm back to normal and I know that the \"soulmate\" thing is complete bullshit. It took some time to recover, a couple weeks ago I still cried about it. I'm not sure why I cry. Something about it makes my heart ache. Is it the fact that this stranger will never actually love me? Maybe. \n\nNow I'm normal and I've come to terms that all of this was fake. It was terrible and I wish it never happened but at the same time I enjoyed myself over all. \n\nAnyway I'm glad I shared this. Has anyone else fallen \"in love\" via schizophrenic/psychotic episode? Or \"traveled dimensions\"?\nI appreciate ANY kind of experience you can share. \n\nAlso, I want to stop taking my pills. I have stopped for about a month now. Do you think it could happen again? \nThank you.", "post_id": "6d92ht", "comment_id": "di1cxo6"}, {"question": "This was me... the hangovers were my biggest problem... mentally and physically wrecked. Couldn't be there for my kids and husband in the normal ways. My drinking wasn't often out of control ( but was sometimes), it was the days after which really got me.\n\nChecking in here each day and making a clear decision to not drink each day really helped. I had to find other things to do to fill the down times.... and pure grit and determination. \n\nYou can do this. ", "comment": "I\u2019m sick of saying this every weekend but I need to stop drinking at least until Christmas. Anyone have any tips or words of advice ", "post_id": "9s19te", "comment_id": "e8ld77h"}, {"question": "you're right. he needs to grow up.", "comment": "Recently we have been having difficulties with our relationship because of me I'll admit. I see him do certain things that just causes him problems (he get mad at his dog when the dog messes up the house so he refuses to take it to the park and in turn the dog keeps all that energy and destroys more things. The dog is on Prozac and NEEDS to go out and run, not stay in an apartment, he's always late for everything because he just has no time management skills and I try to tell him what to do so this doesn't keep being a problem etc.) so he tells his family and in turn his mom persistently messages me and bothers me about it.\nI tell him that this bothers me because it's just going to make the situation so messy. When I tell him it bothers me he says \"well I just don't know what to tell you because they're my family I talk to them about this kind of stuff it's something we do.\" I get that it's his support system and that his friends just won't help him with stuff like this but he doesn't seem to get what the problem is.\nIn my family we do talk about our problems but my mom and dad have always just resolved things between themselves. Is it bad for me to ask him not to talk about problems between us with his mom dad and step mom? \n\nTldr: boyfriend keeps talking about his problems with his family and his mom gets involved and I don't think it's ok.", "post_id": "74vltj", "comment_id": "do1g3la"}, {"question": "write him a letter and speak from the heart.", "comment": "My mom called me today and after asking about my newborn told me that my younger cousin had started an internship at a hospital. It was kind of jarring since I haven't spoken to or heard from this cousin in about 12 years. I've heard about his progress over the years but I've always been too ashamed to go apologize to him. So here's the story.\n\nHis name is Chris. He was always kind of different. He liked different music, spoke differently, had different interests, had poor social skills and I could go on. He was just kind of odd to us as kids. He did spend a lot of time around our grandparents and old people so maybe that was why.\n\nBecause of his different personality traits, he dealt with a lot of bullying in school for his entire life. Chris never showed any emotion, though. He was quiet to begin with but looking back I notice that when he got upset he just totally shut down. It's hard to tell how bad he was hurt because he just went silent.\n\nAnyway, after Jr high he moved to a new district and went to highschool with me. I was a junior and I was pretty popular in high school. I was also massively insecure in my own right. He came to school with me because he had always looked up to me, we got along like brothers at home, and I said I'd look out for him and introduce him to my friends and help him make friends. But I was immature and selfish back then. I admit I treated him differently at home vs in public. I made him the butt of the joke.\n\nChris was getting shit on from the day he got there because of me and it was constant and came from everybody. Everyone knew me and liked me and since I picked on Chris, they did too. I can't stress enough how bad it was. It got worse because Chris'mom made him play on the football team. From what I heard he was just a punching bag for them. Not physically, but they made his life hell.\n\nAgain, no one noticed how much Chris was hurting because he was so quiet. \n\nThe last day I was around Chris was a day where he rode home from school with me and one of my friends. My friend immediately started dumping on Chris. Chris must have reached his limit at this point because he actually started to get visibly upset and yell and curse back. \n\nMy friend eventually stopped the car in the middle of the road and made Chris get out. I'm ashamed of this moment. I remember Chris looking at me for help and I didn't say a word. Chris got out and started walking.\n\nMy friend and I drove to my house and sat outside waiting for Chris to walk home. He never came, or so we thought. He was actually sitting in the backyard and my house was small enough that he could hear us talking shit about him..he just sat back there and listened. \n\nHe stayed until my mom came home and started yelling at me asking where he was. He let me get yelled at for a while and then came in and said he was sitting in the backyard. Again, Chris got shit on by my mom for \"playing games\". That's not her fault, though as she was honestly concerned for his well being. \n\nThat night, Chris tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists. Thankfully my mom heard him crying in the kitchen.\n\nLong story short he left my school and was in the hospital for a while. He told his mom and therapist about what had been happening and I just never heard from him again. \n\nNow the kid is a doctor. I realize I really have no right to be in his life, but I do want to apologize to him. \n\nTl;dr- I helped bully my cousin to the point of suicide. Now, 12 years later, he's doing well for himself. He's a full fledged doctor. Hes helping people and, from what i hear, happy. I want to Apologize to him. What is the best way to do this?", "post_id": "5vid1o", "comment_id": "de2cbu1"}, {"question": "Not sure of your source, but typically anyone with a mental health problem will have shorter lifespans depending on type and severity of illness. These are population estimates, though, and individuals will vary. Reduced lifespans can be due to lots of things including suicide, poverty, physical illness, substance misuse, or even unmonitored medications.\n\nIn aspergers, though, its not significantly reduced. It might be for autism as severe cases cause a lot of problems. Most with aspergers live good lives, and its only going to be better for younger individuals like yourself who live in a more aware and accommodating world (despite recent world events!)", "comment": "I read online that people with Autism generally live 18 years less than normal people. I was wondering if its possible for someone like me with mild aspergers to live a long life?", "post_id": "5uwsba", "comment_id": "ddzm5jh"}, {"question": "Part of this is realizing you weren't actually attracted to him. He supplied a need, to feel listened to and to be made important. He made you feel like you matter and your issues are important too. He may have provided some calm. All of this and more led to you splitting on him, idolizing the behaviors and strengths you wish you had in yourself, and feeding into the desire to cross that boundary and equalize your relationship (since he knows all about you, and you know nothing about him). I promise you, I guaran-fucking-tee it, if you ever met this man outside of therapy and tried to date you wouldn't be as attracted to him nor would you feel this way. \n\nIt's just another way our emotions use intimacy as a way to manipulate our brain. It's another self destructive, maladaptive coping skill we subvert to because therapy is a vulnerable place. And being vulnerable is hard, so the defenses kick into overdrive. Don't get played by your insecurities", "comment": "So I am a 20 year old female with borderline, currently in treatment.\nMy therapist is the ultimate target when it comes to my severe daddy issues and need to feel loved and validated. \nHe's almost 40, tall, kind of good looking with a terrific sense of humor and the kind of therapist who feels a lot like a buddy more than a authority. \nAnd he's in a relationship with a woman who couldn't be more different than I am. \nAnd of course, my attraction started to get in the way of literally everything and I had to come clean because therapy simply will not work if I'm spending all my time trying to be the ultimate desirable romantic interest.\nHe let me down gently. I knew he would. I had no delusions whatsoever that he would feel the same way. It hurt all the same. I'm so fucking sad and humiliated and I try to be mature and cool but at the same time my heart aches because I wasn't enough.", "post_id": "ejefhg", "comment_id": "fcx7v46"}, {"question": "always resolve mental health issues BEFORE making major lie decisions", "comment": "I (26m) have been fighting with me gf (23f) for a long time now. We have been together for 5 years. I don't trust her, but it might be my depression and insecurities talking, or she might be gaslighting me and blaming me for everything, at this point I have no idea.\n\nI have the feeling that I would earn more, be happier, have sex more and have better sex, had more friends if I was single now. Did anyone ever break up because of personal depression and regret it? Am I onto something or am I blaming everything on her?", "post_id": "5vy6mc", "comment_id": "de5wunp"}, {"question": "I am also a former college administrator, and while what the other poster says is true, it's also not the whole story.  The college's priority is protecting itself from lawsuits-- that means a lot of things that won't seem fair might happen.  For example, if you are in the same dorm as the person who perpetrated against you, you would be the one who is asked to move if you don't want to be in the same vicinity, because nothing is yet proven against the perpetrator. Similarly for classes, etc.  A no contact order can be put in place, but that often won't help with the more insidious friend-of-a-friend harassment.\nBe prepared for a lot of people to question your account of things, and if your school's judicial board is not well trained (many are not-- in fact, most) they will ask questions that are invasive and down right victim blaming. \nThe process will likely be lengthy, and even if your perpetrator is found guilty, that doesn't necessarily mean expulsion-- often it can mean a suspension until the victim graduates, a suspension for a year, etc. \n\nI don't say this to discourage you from reporting, but rather to give you a realistic perspective. The school's priority is itself, not you, I am VERY sorry to say.  \n\nThis issue is why I'm a FORMER college administrator-- I found the way they handled assault and harassment cases horrible, and I couldn't in good conscience continue.\n\nYou may also want to check and see if your school is one of the many that is being investigated under title 9 (which covers sexual assault):http://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/us-department-education-releases-list-higher-education-institutions-open-title-i\n\nFeel free to PM me if you think it would be helpful.\n", "comment": "Has anyone had any experience with this? I'm at the crossroads on whether I go forward, and if the investigation comes to rape; then my rapist will be expelled. I'm absolutely terrified of retaliation, and so unsure of what to do.", "post_id": "2eagvi", "comment_id": "cjy3zis"}, {"question": "Getting started is always the hardest part to be sure. It takes courage which it sounds like you\u2019re mustering up your courage already and taking the huge first steps! Give yourself a little pay on the back for that! I\u2019m proud of you, it\u2019s a great start! :) \n\nI would start by googling therapists or counseling in your area and also psychology today is another way to search for therapists. If you have insurance you can search by insurance, if you don\u2019t you\u2019ll be able to see if they have a sliding scale and what the costs are.  If there is a planned parenthood (in the US) or a sex/sexuality education or resource center in your area any of those places should have people they can recommend that is LGBTQ2S+ (though I would really hope most therapists should be comfortable with this population). They might also have info on groups that are in your area that you might also be able to attend for little to no cost in addition to therapy if that\u2019s something that would be helpful. Depending where you are, you might also be able to find therapist training centers/schools that offer low cost services. If you\u2019re a student the school should have a counseling center. Remember, it\u2019s ok to try a couple therapist to find the right fit. It can take a few tries sometimes. Helps if you have an idea of what you\u2019re looking for (male/female, older/younger). You can always ask them questions about how they work, what they believe in terms of what helps people, how often you would need to go/how often you could go, etc. \n\nBest of luck finding someone! :)", "comment": "For many years ive wanted to seek therapy . someone who is lgbt friendly and possibly affordable? Everytime i get close to it or think about it i get scared . scared to seek help . im wondering where should i start? I was thinking online therapy or over the phone if i cant find anything in prefernce for me.  I  really wanna be more serious about my mental health and take control of it.  Thank you to those who take a second to read \u2764", "post_id": "ers3cg", "comment_id": "ff8eseq"}, {"question": "If I needed to hospitalize a client, I'm generally cancelling my sessions for the next few hours as it can be a lengthy process.  \n\nIf I'm 10-20 minutes late, I'll usually have my client notified that I'm running late, let them know if they can wait, I'll still see them for their full session, if not, we'll reschedule and they won't be charged.  \n\n\nUsually I'll have a cancellation or a break that gets me back on track or someone in my schedule will be 15 minutes late or so.  If this is the case, I won't give them their full session, it'll be their full session minus however late they were and then I'll be back on track.", "comment": "Im talking like 10, 15, 20minutes late, mayeb because this client needs to be hospitalized or something and youre trying to make the arrangements. What do you do with the next session? Like how does that go?", "post_id": "bktlv5", "comment_id": "emr0lp6"}, {"question": "It's only the induration (think of it as a firm spot, like swelling, but it may be entirely under the skin) that's measured. Redness, itching, and other signs of irritation are not signs of TB.\n\nFor comparison, when I get a TB skin test most of my forearm turns red for most of a week. It's still negative, and in my case it's been confirmed by blood test.", "comment": "26 y/o female. 5'6. 217lbs. On Zoloft, Lo-loestrin, and Buspar. Had a TB test last week for my internship. It was my first one ever. I have no symptoms of TB. Was told it was negative. The spot was super red, itchy, and sore, but no raised welt. It has now been more than a week and it still looks the same. Should I be concerned? Pics will be in comments. The discolored spot next to the red is from the band-aid she put on it. ", "post_id": "aj7gf9", "comment_id": "eetbo8b"}, {"question": "find your moment that keeps you sober and hold it true to your heart and remind yourself time again what that is and what it feels like both good and bad whatever. Its a mental memento thats important for the day to day stuff. I'm sober with you today.", "comment": "Been subscribed to this subreddit for 4 years. Off and on sobriety the whole time. Longest I've ever lasted is 4 months. Once 30 days. Other than that barely one day. \n\n\nWent to a meeting today. Cried. I think I'm finally ready. Just needed to type that out for myself. No recognition needed. That is all.", "post_id": "4tawfy", "comment_id": "d5gdwk6"}, {"question": "I never know. I just print a super bill and hand it to the patient/client/evaluee.  That is the end of my involvement.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hnjup4", "comment_id": "fxc7y7r"}, {"question": "Sex shouldn't be a request... period! It's a mutual decision by two people. NEVER have sex when you don't feel like it. It will kill your sex life and your relationship.", "comment": "My SO of 3 years expects and requests sex daily. I find this expectation daunting to the point I dread bedtime. I've told him, for me, the daily expectation makes sex feel like a chore and takes the fun out of it. I don't like and feel guilty turning him down. I've convinced him to compromise with every other day instead, but I still feel that daunting expectation, like I'm not allowed to say no if I denied him the night before. I find I don't enjoy sex as much as in past relationships where daily (or now, every other day) sex was not an expectation. Below are some more details:\n\nI DO facilitate sex - he is NOT always the instigator.\nWhen I instigate, it's usually in the morning.\n\nYes, I'm physically attracted to him.\n\nYes, he makes me feel attractive by frequently giving compliments.\n\nI'm satisfied with other forms of intimacy instead of sex such as holding, snuggling, petting, etc. and while he engages in these forms of intimacy, he is never satisfied stopping there.\n\nHe becomes visibly upset if I decline sex.\n\nHe has stated he needs sex nightly in order to sleep. This bothers me in that I feel like a cum dumpster for his release in order to sleep rather than the act being an expression of love.\n\nHe has stated sex is necessary for pregnancy support (I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant. We have experienced 2 previous miscarriages) because it balances the ph levels in my uterus-- something I have not found any scientific evidence to support this claim.\n\nHe often references the fact I told him an ex used to turn me down frequently yet I still desired sex with the ex (as a reason to never deny him.). I tried to explain that I did instigate sex with my ex because (a) the ex and I were only having sex once a month at that point (b) not having sex daily gave me the chance to actually desire it.\n\nHe has stated that if sex wasn't frequent in my previous relationships, I was SURELY being cheated on.\n\nNo, I don't care if he watches porn. Yes, I occasionally also watch porn.\n\nYes, I masturbate but not as frequently during pregnancy due to the cramping after orgasm.\n\nYes, I climax during sex, but only when on top or during oral. \n\nYes, I'm fine with oral both ways. I'm also fine with oral not turning into sex.\n\nThe actual act itself is enjoyable although once recently I did not enjoy it because the daily requests are killing my libido (which is already irregular due to the pregnancy). It was the one time I did not get into it at all (no noises, etc). I admit I've feigned enjoyment during the act merely to get him to climax quicker (although I do NOT feign orgasms).\n\nOn multiple occasions, after which I've declined sex, he has awakened me during the night while shaking the bed during masturbation. As I said, I don't care if he chokes the chicken, but I would prefer not to have my sleep disturbed especially during pregnancy when getting enough/good sleep is EXTREMELY difficult. When I asked him not to wake me to do that, the most recent incident, he responded that he wasn't going to change the person he is.  ???\n\nNo, we did not start the relationship off with frequent sex. I did not want to begin sex until \"love\" was involved (being said). I think it was only about 2 weeks until our first sex. He did say he loved me but he also said it's important to know if there is sexual compatibility in order to pursue a serious relationship. I did feel this statement somewhat pressured me into sex \"too early\" and it occurred at his parents' home which made me uncomfortable. I did not particularly enjoy that first encounter.\n\nI would be satisfied with 1-2x a week. I'd probably be happy to do it more frequently - sometimes - if it weren't EXPECTED.\n\nSummary:  Is daily sex a reasonable request in a relationship? How can I reduce the frequency without feeling guilty or making my partner feel unattractive?\n", "post_id": "78pm8v", "comment_id": "dovo0mk"}, {"question": "This is a beautiful thought from a great thinker.  Thanks for passing it on.  I stopped drinking when I was 23 and I'm 58 now.  I don't regret it.  I'm still working on keeping that channel open. \n\nHere's another:\n\nAn adult is a person who is not governed by demands for immediate pleasure, comfort and excitement. Moreover an adult is able to organize the events and emotions of their life into a memory, a rough meaning, a story. An adult understands that the world belongs primarily to the dead and we only rent it from them for a little while. They created it, they wrote its literature, its songs and are deeply invested in how children are treated because children are the ones who will keep it going. The adult is the one who has been able to preserve his or her intensities, including the intensities proper to their generation. An adult is one who goes out and gathers jewels of feeling for others. Finally, the adult understands renunciation.\n\n", "comment": "\"In the greatest confusion there is still an open channel to the soul. It may be difficult to find because by midlife it is overgrown, and some of the wildest thickets that surround it grow out of what we describe as our education. But the channel is always there, and it is our business to keep it open, to have access to the deepest part of ourselves\u2014to that part of us which is conscious of a higher consciousness, by means of which we make final judgments and put everything together. The independence of this consciousness, which has the strength to be immune to the noise of history and the distractions of our immediate surroundings, is what the life struggle is all about. The soul has to find and hold its ground against hostile forces, sometimes embodied in ideas which frequently deny its very existence, and which indeed often seem to be trying to annul it altogether.\"\n\n-Saul Bellow, Noble Prize Winner.\n\nThis quote needs some clarification (it is a comment on his great novel *Herzog*, about a man in deep crisis). By soul/higher consciousness, he means this in a very literal (rather than mystical) way. 'Higher consciousness' here does not mean 'god' necessarily, (quite frankly, I see nothing specifically religious about his statement), merely a set of beliefs we regard as great. We all have them: e.g. I want to quit drinking, I want to be a better person, I want to lose weight, whatever... they differ from person to person, but we make certain goals or ideals at certain times. To use an analogy, I like to think of it as a back-up drive to a computer, separate from the main thing.\n\nBut reality is not so clean, not so focused. Reality can be cruel. Reflecting on history can be depressing (our own personal histories, and the history of civilisation). But we can always return to those initial statements we made. To continue the computer analogy, we're bound to get a virus, our computer is going to freeze, etc... we have to reboot now and again. Clear the drives, delete the unnecessaries, update our software. But we have that backup. And it's our job to keep it updated. To refer to it. Amend it if need be. This, as Bellow points out, is what the life struggle is all about.\n\nThanks for your help /r/stopdrinking!", "post_id": "25cjrn", "comment_id": "chfxvdp"}, {"question": "Don\u2019t tell her you love her. \n\n\u201cI don\u2019t want to be weird, but would you go on a date with me?  I think there\u2019s something here.\u201d", "comment": "My friend and I have been very close for almost 10 years since grade 10. I was dating some girl in high school and my friend liked me at the time but I never paid attention to any of the signs. I only think about how obvious they were and how oblivious I was. Soon after high school ended, I was single and my feelings for my friend were pretty strong, we'd hang out on the daily so I confessed that I liked her. She said she didn't feel the same way and soon after, she got into a relationship, as well so did I. We still remained quite close friends but about 2 years later we both became single again. Fast forward to until last year where we've become really close friends and hanging out a lot, going for dinner dates and what not but we just genuinely enjoyed each others company more than anything. FYI, she's a solid 9/10, I'm a solid 7. Last September I was friends with benefits with some bumble girl who was bi, and as a joke, I asked my best friend if she wanted to join the bumble girl and I in the bedroom and she said yes. So i'm like wtf, alright. The threesome goes horribly wrong, I couldn't get hard at all because I think it's because my friend was there but she's insanely attractive, it made no sense. Whatever, I take the loss and come new years a few months later, she ends up kissing me (I know, it was probably just part of the festivities) and that threw me off completely. \n\nShe's a really hard girl to read but we both have so much in common and I really don't want to lose her friendship over confessing that I'm possibly in love with her. We were prom dates, have been there for each other every step of the way but I can never tell if she even sees me as a potential candidate anymore and her signals are quite hard to read.  \n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated \n\nEdit: If we're in a group setting, every time she laughs she looks at me, or every time she's talking, she'll mainly look at my while telling a story and at parties, I'll catch her looking at my from the distance and she'll quickly turn away. We go to Starbucks together like 3 times a week just to work on stuff. We don't really talk, we listen to our own music but we enjoy each others silence. ", "post_id": "7wad1t", "comment_id": "dtyslgq"}, {"question": "it's never easy. just have to start talking.", "comment": "I (25 f) have been with my boyfriend (26m) for 4 years, but now it's time for me to move on. The main thing giving me pause is that I want to do it with as little pain as possible. But I don't know how. I've never ended a relationship before- especially not a 4 year one. \nSome background: \nI found out about the sexting 2 years ago, while we were living together during college, and told him I wasn't going to move anywhere with him if that was how he was going to be. He said he only wanted me. \nA year ago I found nudes of his ex and I'm fairly certain he reciprocated. I also found saved sexts that predated my first discovery. We have been living together for the past 4 years and are currently. \n\n\nHe isn't the best fit for me and I know what I should do, but it's hard and scary and I've never done it before. Please halp. ", "post_id": "5kc47u", "comment_id": "dbmwllr"}, {"question": "If your best friend is in love with you and you want to keep it best friends, than you just have to say it and hope they are mature enough to stay best friends.", "comment": "Hello, I might be a little off-topic here so if you know a good subreddit I should move to don't hesitate to show me the door.\nShort for instant-replies I\u2019d appreciate too: If your best friend is in love with you and writes you very emotional texts how they can\u2019t live without you (as a partner) and you\u2019re also the only person currently capable of EVER cheering them up with words with nobody else around to help, what do you do?\n\n\nLoooong story short: I got to know a girl, we became best friends that could tell each other absolutely everything. We're totally different but can relate to everything the other says or feels for whatever reason. I feel like she\u2019s the only person I\u2019ve ever met who is honestly interested in me and what I do/create. (Ak\u00e1 what some people would call stalking online) We had a relationship-attempt at some point but it couldn't work due to too many issues we're having in our lives. We both need someone less problematic as partners but surely need each other as friends.\nFirst it was me who had a hard time getting over her and still staying her friend while she had another relationship. I got through it. After breaking up with her partner she fell in love with me again (or says she probably never fell out of it). She still feels like we're \"meant for each other\" and by giving me up she\u2019s doing the greatest mistake of her life. I try to push the \u201cyou can love a friend too\u201d-narrative but I feel like it\u2019s a bottomless pit. I cannot do the thing experts tell you to do and abandon her. We\u2019re literally the only people who ever dragged each other out of the horrible mood and I greatly improved her life. (She no longer loathes her body or blames herself whenever someone can\u2019t stand her, for example. And she is constantly improving her mentality too. Started creative hobbies again after years of abandoning them and found her excitement for things she used to love.) She\u2019s not safe from falling back into the pit though, which is why I don\u2019t think that the \u201clet it go\u201d is the solution for us.\n\nWe do have long talks and it usually helps to cheer her up and look forward to the great friendship we can have but at times she just falls reaaaaally deep. (She has never had a good year in her life. Been depressive since she was 10 despite being such an enthusiastic and cheery person.)\n\nI\u2019ll be in hospital (nothing serious but still might take weeks) soon and I know we\u2019ll have those evenings where she writes me all her emotional thoughts and I\u2019ll have a hard time replying. While in bed I can\u2019t call her since everyone else there would be listening. \n\nI can find a ton of texts/advices online what to do if a friend falls in love with you, or what to do with the Ex that clings to you but never what you do when THE friend AND ex stays in love, whom is also depressed and you\u2019ve been the only person in 10 years who ever improved their life or is capable of talking them out of their depressive state. \nI feel lost on what to do :(", "post_id": "782c2r", "comment_id": "doqjole"}, {"question": "never play games. stay if you're enjoying the chat, or leave because you have something to do.", "comment": "So today at lunch (high school), I got two girls numbers. It was at the peak of the conversation, I made them laugh several times and one of them asked if I had a girlfriend, so I knew she was interested. After I got their numbers, I said goodbye while there was still time at lunch, and went to sit with my friends. Do you think I should've stayed for the time being, or it was good to keep them guessing or whatever and leave?", "post_id": "5tas7w", "comment_id": "ddlflrq"}, {"question": "Therapist here who works with Bipolar Disorder quite a bit.\n\nRecommending you taper off the medication is grossly out-of-scope for the therapist to suggest, especially without any kind of consult with your psychiatrist. That should be a 3-way conversation going on at the same time with you included, not each one speaking with you individually about it. We are not doctors and have no official medical training with our degrees/licenses alone.\n\nThe primary standard of care treatment for Bipolar Disorder (especially with a history of manic episodes) is medication first and foremost. There IS evidence that chemical pathways are different in clients who meet criteria for Bipolar Disorder. There is also a genetic factor that plays a role. With a substance use history (often co-morbid with Bipolar 1) the chance of relapse increases either due to self-medicating from onset of a depressive episode or lack of impulse control from a manic episode. \n\nIf you don't want to taper off your medication, then follow your gut. Anytime you want to make any changes to your med regiment, speak to your psychiatrist. They have the actual training to make those changes and suggestions.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "eshufa", "comment_id": "ffa2wsv"}, {"question": "At least you saved money?  Maybe you'll lose a little weight?\n\nSorry your day sucked.", "comment": "I spent the whole day alone and got food poisoning.", "post_id": "45xhpi", "comment_id": "d0106yk"}, {"question": "Theres separate assessment rooms in many hospitals but yes theres the challenge of being in the communal waiting area at the start.\n\nStill - A&E is definitely not the place to get psychiatric care and treatment. GPs, CMHT duty workers, or crisis teams, are a much more appropriate and more compassionate way to access treatment.\n\nHowever with COVID always best to minimise human contact and contact services via telephone first.", "comment": "If you go to A&E for mental health you shouldn't have to wait in the main a&e waiting area. You should be able to go to a quieter, calmer room.\n\nLast friday I went to a&e because of my intrusive thoughts. I had to wait like 3 hours in a&e before the psychiatrist person came. It was incredibly triggering. a) just because it was a&e and the waiting room was triggering. b) because of the things going on eg. someone having a seizure, and checking someone else was conscious.\n\nAt one point I had my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears trying to forget I was there and block out all the bad thoughts related to it. I cried a lot. Maybe having a separate calmer room would have helped. I might not have heard the noise about the seizure or seen them on the ground and it might have kept things easier for me.", "post_id": "fig9k9", "comment_id": "fkh4q8c"}, {"question": "Verbal abuse?", "comment": "In a relationship, it's always good to communicate your feelings and thoughts right? How else can things be solved if we don't talk about it. So... What do you do with particularly toxic feelings and unhelpful thoughts. Things that will only hurt the relationship and serve no purpose. Should those be voiced? Is it unhealthy to express these vile thoughts you know are wrong but you feel them anyway?", "post_id": "gshcmc", "comment_id": "fs63qxq"}, {"question": "everyone should resolve their present situation first.", "comment": "So, long story short I'm friends with a lovely girl. I've developed some strong feelings for the her but she's in a relationship. I feel like she might be interested in me but I don't know if I should confess my feelings for her or stay silent. I'm currently causally dating someone if that makes a difference.", "post_id": "5vn56e", "comment_id": "de3d80t"}, {"question": "This is a little bit tricky as when speaking of ethics and un/ ethical behavior for a profession, there are clearly defined ethical principles. For this to be unethical it must be contrary to one of these defined principles. \n\nThis will depend on the profession. While I'm uncertain about the ethicalness of this practice. It certainly seems to be bad form", "comment": "I'm talking about Youtube therapist Dr. Todd Grande here, who is apparently obsessed with making videos about Narcissism, but that's not the point. I noticed that, when he's making videos on BPD, ASPD or NPD, he likes comments under his video where people straight up insult those suffering from those personality disorders. Dr. Grande likes comments like \"They are full of shit, lol. Try saying [blank] to them, trust me, it's driving them absolutely nuts\". So he pretty much supports people, who not only insult, but also suggest to bother those people. Seeing that reminded me of that unprofessional comment from Katie Morton, where she pretty much said those people were \"disgusting\". I was wondering if liking those comment is just as unethical?\n\nThanks in advance!", "post_id": "d7aeig", "comment_id": "f0yu4wz"}, {"question": "one cheat and it's over...always", "comment": "So we have dated on and off a few times now since November. We have known each other for almost two years now. My boyfriend has cheated on me four times with other girls. I (F16) am working on getting over it and each time I seem to mention something about the cheating he acts hurt and says it sucks because it's true.  Like yesterday I said it hurts to know the person you love the most, doesnt love you enough to stay loyal. He also doesnt believe me on this I say. Like this morning I had just woke up and I turned my phone on. (I woke up late) all he says is he doesnt believe me and leaves. He usually once a say freaks out on some small stuff and apologizes later. Idk what to do anymore tbh. Any advice?", "post_id": "6cu4ww", "comment_id": "dhxdf61"}, {"question": "Psychologists and Psychiatrists are both trained and qualified to make diagnoses.", "comment": "Hello friends,\n\nI've been noticing an increase of panic attack symptoms lately, to the point where I went to go see a counsellor at my university. My psychologist suggested that i exhibit signs PTSD, and OCD which facilitates my anxiety. Though a psychologist, the counselling service cannot confirm or diagnose me with such disorders. \n\nI was wondering, because I have no knowledge about services available for mental health, where do I get a proper diagnosis? Should I see a psychiatrist? What other credentials should I look for?\n\nAny help or information would be splendid. If this is of any help, I live in Canada. ", "post_id": "238nlf", "comment_id": "cguqiax"}, {"question": "/r/shittyaskreddit", "comment": "I was just wondering if I could fuck with the Wu", "post_id": "4tsh41", "comment_id": "d5jwsj6"}, {"question": "There is a difference between intelligence and expertise.  Highly intelligent people can often come up to speed faster but may still perform more poorly next to less intelligent experts at least at first.  And then stuff like anxiety will degrade the advantage of intelligence as it hogs the Brain's CPU so to speak.  Stuff to think about.  Being publicly judgmental is neither about being expert or intelligent.  But more about cruelty, dominance or need for efficiency.  In any event, its not personal when it does happen.  Hope this helps.  ", "comment": "Background:\n\nI've been around smart people all my life (selective school/top university, and within that I tend to put myself into positions where I am in the middle of the super-smart ones..) but have always struggled to keep up with them academically and intellectually due to social anxiety, depression, etc getting in the way. So whilst I'm a curious person, I've even been scared to ask questions about things I don't understand, which starts a vicious cycle of guilt, embarrassment and non-learning!\n\nIn terms of sport, the difference might be comparable to being amongst players in a top 4 Premier league team, when I'm simply a mid-level player in a team near the bottom of the table. So arguably in the same league, but there's ultimately a big difference between us.\n\nQUESTION:\n\nMy question is, whilst I'm not stupid - I can't keep up with them when they're at top speed unless I slow them down by asking a load of questions. After a while would they start getting mildly irritated and disregard me as someone who isn't quite on their 'level' and can't keep up? Or is it entirely in my head and asking lots of questions is exactly what I should do when I'm not understanding them? (since there are now a lot of gaps in my general knowledge, I would need to do this doubly from now on..!)", "post_id": "20s06c", "comment_id": "cg6quv0"}, {"question": "That would be an adjustment disorder (should you wish to medicalise your situation), essentially a stress reaction. Give it time.", "comment": "in october 2016 i had a huge crush on someone and after settling as just ''friends'' i decided to cut of contact, and for the next 5 months after that i had stuck thoughts on a loop 24/7 like an image or a 2nd screen in front of me which was her, it lead to feelings of depression but with time got less severe, i do have OCD maybe that? i do not experience panic attacks flashbacks etc but i do remain hesitant to think about the trauma and i go to great lengths of avoiding her in fear of the stuck image thoughts returning", "post_id": "68ths2", "comment_id": "dh15r49"}, {"question": "in the long run, you don't really want your feelings to go away because it shows that for the first time you are feeling SOMETHING, which is  beautiful.  usually, becoming a romantic individual starts with this kind of longing from afar....a crush.   so you either take a chance, and ask her out, or if you really feel that she wouldn't go out, then relish the fact that you're having sweet feelings, and use that experience to talk more to girls. you'll get there my friend.", "comment": "I am 16 years old and in my 11th year in high school. Before this I have never felt special about someone, never had a girlfriend or any friends that are girls for that matter. In one of my classes this year there is this girl (17) who is very popular, very attractive, funny, and caring. I am shy and don't talk to many people, especially girls. \n\n\nWe have talked once when we were assigned to a group together for the hour. It wasn't a real converstaion, just agreeing with each other and the other members of our group. She is a year older than me and is way out of my leauge. I can't find the courage to say anything to her and it would lead to nothing anyway. The class also ends next week because of the semester so after this week I will be even more lost.\n\n\nI have never felt this way about anyone and I need to know how to make it go away. I think about her all the time to the point were it saddens me knowing I will never even talk to her. I know for a fact that I will never say anything to her because im too shy and have no experience, especially with someone like her. I just want this feeling to go away, thanks for the advice.\n  \n  ---   \n tl;dr - I am shy/quiet, and obsessed with girl who is older and better looking than me, never really talked to her. How do i get rid of the feelings. Thanks", "post_id": "5ofklq", "comment_id": "dciyonl"}, {"question": "You're somewhere just above the 25th percentile for height and at the 98th or 99th percentile for weight. That goes beyond overweight and into obese. Even if you grow significantly, you'd have to hit 6' 3\" in adulthood without gaining a pound to grow into a normal weight.\n\nWhether you're unhealthy now is another question, but it's a good idea to try to get on top of your weight early rather than let it cause problems. I would say it's worth talking to a doctor about it. Most pediatricians can be helpful and will know who to refer you to if it's beyond their expertise.", "comment": "im 5'6.5\" and about 195 lbs. ive always been big but i started growing out of 32w shorts (been wearing the size for 4 years now) and into an XL for shirt size. i try telling them that its been 4-5 years since my last weight gain and if the pattern continues,  ill get taller and it'll even out. should i get seen by a doctor? am i unhealthy at all? ", "post_id": "94fc0v", "comment_id": "e3klu08"}, {"question": "You don't have a diagnosis, but that is not the same as not having any examination or testing done to rule things out. Presumably the cardiologist has done at least some of that.\n\nAt some point it's worth looking into how much your symptoms could be driven by anxiety. Anxiety, poor sleep, fatigue, headache, and arrhythmia can all be interlinked. You don't mention a psychiatrist or therapist or any treatment of any kind for the anxiety you mention. Why?", "comment": "Im 19 and male and I've developed rather strange ailments the last few months maybe even years. I live with my parents and am still on their insurance, I'm 270lbs, I vape, I have major anxiety issues, terrible sleep and fatigue issues, this weird constant headache (everything I've seen says its a stress headache but it comes with this sound of like a kinked hose running down the back of my neck) Ive had a mild arrythmia for the last 6 months or so (I'm on metoprolol for it), I've had what feels like shortness of breath for a while (probably 3 months), among a few others. \n\nso heres where the issue lies, I have a crippling fear of death, I live with my parents, and I live in Oklahoma. There are no real good doctors here, and even if there were I simply am unable to convince my parents to allow me to actually see a doctor within a reasonable time frame. For the last couple days my leg has hurt and given the arrythmia (which has no real cause according to the kinda crappy cardiologist I have had a few appointments with) and given the shortness of breath really makes me worry about an embolism of some sort, the issue is ive been to the doctor to discuss my problems (from the sleep issue which resulted in a cpap that has done absolutely nothing to help me, to an issue where Id wake up and fall asleep into near constant sleep paralysis.) and rarely if ever come out with any help, ya know theyll take my temperature and blood pressure and listen to my lungs but never really do any actual diagnosing. I think this is mainly an Oklahoma problem but when I bring these problems up to my parents they just say I should take some ibuprofen and a shower. Ive heard all my life that if you think something's wrong you should see a doctor but Im stuck in a position where seeing a doctor would be futile and my parents refuse to actually take me anyway so I just sit here completely anxious and lie awake at night terrified of sleeping. Anyone got any advice?", "post_id": "e4rutl", "comment_id": "f9f434n"}, {"question": "if you are in love, have shared values, and life goals, then the most important things are in place. shared interests are over-rated; maybe see a therapist together", "comment": "Hi guys. \nI've been in a relationship with a great person for 3 years. We recently moved in together and while we've had some ups and downs like all couples, everything has been ok. \n\nIn moving in with her however, I've come to realize we have next to nothing in common. \n\n- She can't stand the music i listen to because i like melancholy music and she is a bit fragile emotionally so she always complains. \n- We don't really like the same movies.\n- I'm way more social than her. She barely sees her friends so we're always hanging out with mine.\n- She's more of an active person during the day and i like going out to see bands later at night. She doesn't really like being out past midnight.\n- She has an insatiable desire for travel overseas where I'm happy to travel every 5 or so years and save my money.\n- Our sex life is a little complicated. I have some intimacy issues that make it difficult and even then we are having sex maybe once a week tops and at the moment its feeling a little forced.\n- I'm from the outer suburbs and she's from the city. She works in the city and i work in the outer suburbs.  The place we live is kind of in the middle to make things fair, its an inner city suburb however and being stuck in traffic all the time is really starting to make me feel claustrophobic.\n\nDespite all these differences we have a very loving and affectionate relationship. I know she's all set on us spending our lives together.\nI love her but i'm having doubts about whether we are compatible as people but also feel like maybe I'm self sabotaging. \nI worry that I'm going to have a mid life crisis in a few years. It feels like we are living seperate lives because I'm always out playing in my band and seeing other bands play while she will stay at home or go see her parents. \n\nShe can be very hard to talk too regarding these things due to her fragile emotional state. She can often get irrational when discussing these things so it often turns into an exhausting exercise which makes me feel like i don't want to say anything to avoid an argument and try and get things back to normal. \n\nSo I'm at a crossroads. We have our lease renewal coming up in August and she is pushing for an overseas trip around then too so i feel like i need to make a decision.\n\nJust looking for some guidance because this is a decision which will change my life dramatically and im often finding myself on different sides of the fence very frequently.\n\n\n", "post_id": "5tp5hd", "comment_id": "ddo1de7"}, {"question": "YNAB \n\nDo yourself a favor and look this program up. \n\nLife changing. \n\nRead reviews. \n\nWatch YouTube videos for it (specifically the ones by a channel called \u2018Mapped Out Money\u2019. Go for the free trial. ", "comment": "Checking my bank account balance gives me horrible, heart-pounding anxiety. I'm afraid I'll hate myself after seeing how much I've spent, and I also have some residual anxiety from when I was living paycheck-to-paycheck. However, I'm sick of feeling weighed down by money anxiety. The knowledge that I spend money impulsively, don't follow a budget, and don't check my bank account weighs on me \\*heavily\\*, and I'm ready to shed that weight. Wish me luck.\n\nEdit: I did it! I went through my expenses, cancelled 5 subscriptions (yes, 5), set up a monthly transfer so I can automatically build my savings account, and went through my Mint account to see where I'm spending my money. My goal for January is to cut back on food spending.\n\nThank you so much for your encouragement! I still have more to do, but I made some great progress tonight. :D", "post_id": "ab3696", "comment_id": "ecxjzak"}, {"question": "I use \"patient.\" For me , this is about respecting psychological suffering and also normalizing the use of mental health services.  \n\nAlso , I have worked in impatient settings , and with SPMI clients who are quite literally patients,  even outside our relationships. \n\nI would feel different if I was working with outpatient folks to spice up marriage,  or other similar populations.  My patients,  though are definitely patients.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "fvxqtv", "comment_id": "fmmtdvk"}, {"question": "It's not usually useful to consider antibiotics by \"power.\" More commonly the issue is resistance. Since you didn't say what it's for or why you're looking for more power we can't be helpful.\n\nYou can't measure anything meaningful about brains in gigahertz, so I don't understand that part of your question.", "comment": "29, male, 6', 200lbs, white, 2 years problem, anus,\n\nSo can you recommend anything? Also my second question... Do you think I should change my psychiatrist? He says my brain is 4 gigahertz, but I know it's 5 gigahertz. My psychiatrist when I was younger confirmed it was 5. He says if I take Oxycontin I will get an extra gigahert but I don't trust this... ", "post_id": "9kgs81", "comment_id": "e6yxolh"}, {"question": "I understand exactly how you feel.  My insecurities are just haunting my brain and causing me a lot of anxiety.  Maybe therapy might help to figure out these insecurities.  That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to try. ", "comment": "I'm in a relationship with this beautiful intelligent human being that i totally admire and respect. I try not to push her boundaries ever, give her space, I never show signs of jealousy and over all I try to make her happy. However I'm totally insecure (maybe because sometimes *or better all the time * I feel like I don't worth as much. A better description would be that I live with the constant fear that she's gonna leave me or break my heart and at the same time I want to push her away before she does) \n\nThe problem (and what hurts the most) is that i don't really have a reason to feel that way. I mean she's acting extremely good in our relationship. Tells me she loves me and we spend time together.  \n\n\nI sometimes cry in her arms when I feel overwhelmed (pathetic I know) but she says she likes that i show her my vulnerable side. \n\nShould I tell her how I feel ? \nShould I break up and let her find someone less damaged ? \nShould I see someone, like a psychologist? \n\n\nPlease I need help, I'm tired of feeling this pain in my chest and try to act cool all the time \n\n*sorry for any mistake, I'm not a native english speaker ", "post_id": "9lgmpi", "comment_id": "e76mwyz"}, {"question": "He\u2019s not emotionally available right now, for temporary or permanent reasons that do or do not hinge on you telling him you had feelings for him. \n\nFocus on the rest of your life. \n\nDon\u2019t confess your romantic feelings to people unless you want something to change. ", "comment": "So,  this guy and I met a while back and became close friends really quickly. Like, quicker than I ever have before. He is really sweet and thoughtful and easy to talk to, everything I\u2019d want in a good friend! We found it very easy to be affectionate with each other as we are both inclined to do with all of our close friends. \nAt this point in time, we live on complete opposite sides of the US (im in puerto rico, he is in alaska) but even so we found it easy to call each other up and text regularly to vent or check in or just joke around. \n\nSomewhere along the way, I developed a slight crush (and when I say slight, I actually mean slight) on him (I\u2019m asexual and he knows), so naturally since we were close I simply told him about it.  It was easy to tell him because he had already revealed to me that he had previously had a crush on me early in our friendship. \nUnfortunately for me, I suppose, he had a (and still has a) girlfriend by the time I told him but he reassured me up and down that it\u2019s fine. And we had a few conversations on the matter and we both agreed that the feelings were nobody\u2019s fault and we\u2019d simply move on with the thing. \n\nNow, however, ever since, nothing has seemed right. We still talk, yea, but it is way less frequent and nowhere near as easy as it was before. \nHe doesn\u2019t really talk about himself to me anymore, never really going beyond \u201cI\u2019m just really busy\u201d and \u201ci\u2019m good, hbu?\u201d And I am the one initiating about 80% of any of our (infrequent) conversations at this point. I feel like I\u2019m the only one doing the venting about what\u2019s going on with me and the imbalance is making me incredibly anxious. Like I\u2019m afraid of being his burden rather than his friend. \n\nMy natural inclination is to blame all the bad things on my confession of feelings on him but I can\u2019t help but feel there is more to it than that. Every time I try to ask him what\u2019s going on he has either said that he hasn\u2019t noticed anything feeling \u201coff\u201d the way I do or he just says that he has been busy. I don\u2019t know. It could also be his girlfriend has a problem with me, but he hasn\u2019t mentioned anything like that, but he also is the type who wouldn\u2019t tell me something like that to avoid upsetting me. \nIm just plain scared, confused, anxious, and at a loss. \n\nAny advice? \n", "post_id": "7wa9me", "comment_id": "dtysdek"}, {"question": "31 here... still feel out of place around mature folks... but I accept that about myself... so no problem...", "comment": "Talking to \"grown-ups\" feels the same way it did when I was in middle school. \n\nI look very young so it isn't always that much of a problem...people just assume I'm an awkward high school or early college kid, but that gig is pretty much up. \n\nI'm trying to get jobs, talking to staffing agencies and taking interviews and it's really shitting my shit. I usually have a beer or two before hand... Forcing eye contact, over-answering questions, missing points, and not to mention tearing myself up over-analyzing every interaction afterward, realizing what people probably meant with a question or statement I didn't quite grasp at the time. \n\nI'm never quite at the same level people are at in the interaction.\n\nDo things really get better? Or should I find a freelance skill I can work from home...\n\n:/", "post_id": "u1ohl", "comment_id": "c4viu15"}, {"question": "Rather than add more drugs, particularly for anxiety the first and best intervention is to stop cannabis. Anything is is trying to paper over something that clearly contributes to the problem.\n\nReally, with so much self-administered polypharmacy it\u2019s very hard to know how you\u2019re doing underneath it all. First, stop other things for a sustained period. Then figure out what, if anything, you still need.", "comment": "Hi, I have major depression and anxiety alongside ASD (Asperger's). I also have a substance misuse problem in the form of daily cannabis use, paired with stimulant use (MDMA, LSD) around 1-3 a month. Occasionally I'll lose faith in everything for the billionth time and I'll try something like Oxycodone, but that's a rarity, especially as I accidentally overdosed recently and had to be taken into hospital. I turned 18 in September, am a smoker and have been trying to hold down a 9-5, Monday-Friday job for 6 months but it's starting to feel really impossible.\n\nFYI, I'm 18, male, 181cm, 77kg, white British.\n\nI first got help in September 2018, where I was prescribed Fluoxetine by my GP. I went up to 40mg/day for around 3 months with no benefit whatsoever. After this failed to work, I started taking Cannabis regularly and that has stayed ever since. I was eventually referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) and the psychiatrist prescribed me Sertraline (went up to 150mg for 3 months) and I started work with a counsellor. Turns out the counselor was the definition of useless and the Sertraline had absolutely no effect like the Fluoxetine, with the only exception being that I felt more emotionally \"blunt\" than usual. From this point, I was seeing my psychiatrist every two months and I believe I quit 6th Form (college) shortly after this.\n\nAfter this and multiple suicide attempts, I eventually ended up back with my psychiatrist, this time needing something radically different given the circumstances. I specifically didn't want to try another SSRI, given that I had already tried two unsuccessfully and I was a few months from being 18, I asked for Duloxetine as it has no further toxicity risk than an SSRI and TCAs obviously do.\n\nUnfortunately, after going up to 60mg for 2 months, I only noticed adverse side effects (like extreme sleepiness, one of my main problems) and no benefits. My psychiatrist added low-dose (50-100mg/day) Quetiapine on after this, and I stayed on the Duloxetine for a few more weeks but eventually came off it. I also came off the Quetiapine after about a month since I noticed no benefit.\n\nMy aunt takes Pregabalin for her anxiety and I was aware of it as 3rd-line anxiolytic in the UK, so I asked my psychiatrist and he told me they \"don't use that here\" and he \"\\[didn't\\] want to add it to his 'medication repertoire'. That made me annoyed as I was struggling with extreme anxiety alongside the depression, and I had tried Gabapentin before with success as an anxiolytic, so I bought it and started taking it. It worked like a miracle drug and took a huge load off my shoulders. Just remember that at this point, this is the only psychiatric medication I've taken that's had a benefit. After about 2 months, I saw a gastroenterologist (for my IBS) and he prescribed it to me. This means I'm taking it for a psychiatric purpose yet it's prescribed for neuropathic pain... nevertheless, it still works.\n\nI started taking Quetiapine again to help with sleep as I tried to get off cannabis (failed) but I ended up taking a dose of about 150-250mg/day opposed to my prescribed dose of 100mg/day, which is what I've noticed has helped slightly compared to the low-dose. I'm not sure how to explain this to my psychiatrist, as he wanted to keep me on a low dose yet didn't even bother to ask me if I'm still taking it (despite it being months since he prescribed it).\n\nI also tried self-administration of low-dose Ketamine on a weekly basis (done properly with tested pharmaceutical Ketamine administered intramuscularly), and whilst it did help on the day, the residual effects were not great enough for me to justify continuing treatment. The one thing I did notice is that it is extremely beneficial for me when when I'm suicidal, and now instead of going to A&E for 5 hours only to be told to go home because you're not psychotic, I can administer an injection of Ketamine and it has truly remarkable results.\n\nI'm seeing my psychiatrist in February and plan to ask him about some specific medications:\n\n1. Buspirone, a serotonin receptor agonist, for anxiety\n2. Vortioxetine, an SSRI/serotonin modulator, for depression and anxiety\n3. Lithium, for mood stabilisation\n\nI also plan on buying some Tianeptine, an atypical \u00b5-opioid receptor agonist, useful for depression, anxiety and IBS as it is only available in Portugal and I wish to try it. I'll trial this before seeing my psychiatrist and will discuss with him if it's useful.\n\nMy question is, are there any medications I've missed or anything else that's worth looking at?", "post_id": "eo3vjz", "comment_id": "fe8f2bd"}, {"question": "Have you thought about seeing a counselor? There are lots of little things you might be able to do, but a counselor is going to be the best way for you to make the BIG changes that will really make a difference.", "comment": "I haven't really had a close friend in a long time or at least since I started college almost 4 years ago. I definitely don't have one at college. My close friends from childhood never graduated high school and we don't keep in touch much since I left for college. I haven't had a girlfriend since high school.\n\nI'm scared to spend time with people to build any kind of relationship, plutonic or not. I think it's rooted in trust issues and the model my parents set for me but I don't know how to overcome it. It seems like the closer I get to being myself around people the further they push away. I need to work on myself. People tell me to just do it but this is so ingrained in me that I don't have the will power to do anything about it.\n\nSorry for the rant but does anyone know of some little things that I can start doing to fix this? ", "post_id": "1312d4", "comment_id": "c6zyu4n"}, {"question": "Try to better yourself in some way. Take a class at a community center, learn a new skill, get a therapist, see a career counselor. Do thunbgs that are fun but could help guide you in the future. ", "comment": "What should I do? I took a year off because I don\u2019t know what I want to do with my life or what I like. I sit at home and watch tv and it\u2019s killing me. What are some productive things I could do with my time? I like to learn about new things and want to explore all my options.", "post_id": "72wx2i", "comment_id": "dnm2q6z"}, {"question": "Talk to a counselor -- they will help teach you how to reconnect and move past your depression and anxiety :)", "comment": "I'm 29. Too old. I've missed out on key events in my siblings, old friends, and cousins life. Imagine me randomly calling and trying to reconnect while trying to mask my depression and anxiety.", "post_id": "2xj7xw", "comment_id": "cp0nxst"}, {"question": "I am so sorry that this is so common in the field. \n\nWhat is happening is (most likely) this: therapists are operating private practices and cannot afford to hire someone to answer the phones. They see clients all day, are getting many calls, and simply don't have mental space or space in their schedules to call back 30 people, unpaid, just to say, \"I can't help you\". It's unacceptable but it's incredibly common. I have been through the process of searching for a therapist and found it super demoralizing, and few people are probably more prepared to navigate the system than I am.", "comment": "This isn't a recent development so it's not a coronavirus thing. I've been trying to get into therapy for 2 years. My only success was when I was referred directly from an IOP program. I have contacted probably 25 therapists in my area via several different methods. Leaving voicemails, emailing them, reaching out through psychology today, etc. It seems like if you're in a position where vulnerable and emotionally/mentally unwell people are reaching out to you specifically for help, you could at least respond to them to let them know that you're not taking any new clients if that's the case. It's too many to be a coincidence at this point. I've given a lot of info sometimes, and sometimes just said \"I'm looking to start seeing a therapist\" so I don't think anything particular about me is putting them off somehow. What is going on?", "post_id": "fv0y57", "comment_id": "fmh0b2c"}, {"question": "Are you able to leave the place and stay the night somewhere else? It would be great if your tenant took care of this for you. You shouldn't have to sleep in a cockroach infested apartment! Anyone would be freaked out! (Trust me, I did it once...)", "comment": "there were millions of cockroaches at my last place of residence and i've been cleaning this one so much. a cockroach just climbed up on my bed please someone tell me the nightmare isn't coming back. i don't know what to do. i can barely breathe.", "post_id": "2jhqpq", "comment_id": "clbvezu"}, {"question": "yes, you're wasting your time i'm afraid", "comment": "Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months, going on six, She keeps tagging me in posts on FB, Saying how much she loves me etc, But doesn't tell me what she's doing, Said this today: \"I'm a little busy right now, got someone coming round so I'll talk to you later xxxx\"\nTurns out a male friend of hers, I don't mind that, but the not being able to tell me that, concerns me, Am I wasting my time? I'm also in pain today and when I tell her about it, she doesn't seem concerned, I'm on the verge of tears and I don't know what to do.\n", "post_id": "6baqk1", "comment_id": "dhl323f"}, {"question": "The way we did it at my group is the cosigner with the treasurer and then another service member, typically the secretary or GSR and after those terms ended the account would be signed over to the next secretary and another member.", "comment": "Okay, so our group has had sort of a \"den mother\" who has been the one keeping this group alive for many years (she'll be getting her 24 year chip in a month or two).  This group was 'her' group and she took care of everything, but her age is catching up with her and the group has enough regular attendees that she feels comfortable handing over some of the responsibilities so she can take care of herself.\n\nI was asked if I would be the Treasurer, I accepted, but to stay true to the traditions I requested a formal group conscience where other volunteers could step forward and it could be voted on.  No one else stepped forward so I was voted in.  We'd all known for a long time that she'd been mixing group funds in her own personal account all those years but we were okay with that.  Our group is moderate (~15 regular members), we understood that becoming incorporated wasn't worth the extra costs or work, and mixing funds meant not having to worry about keeping a minimum balance. (And there were low-membership years where she was footing the bill for everything anyway.)\n\nAs the new treasurer I looked into the options of incorporating or having separate bank accounts to see if anything had changed since she last looked into it, then held a group conscience to see how the group wanted to handle it.  I found that I could open a second, separate account at my bank that would not be tied to my current account, but it required a $200 minimum deposit.  I could also add a cosigner which would give the group access to the funds if anything happened to me.  The group chose that over incorporating.  Someone volunteered to be the cosigner and the group agreed.\n\nWe've not yet completed the paperwork but now I'm second guessing.  The person who volunteered has mentioned in previous meetings that they have a history of being a chaos addict and manipulator, and this past week we engaged in some emails back and forth that in retrospect lead me to think their chaos addict days are not as far behind them as they may think. (EDIT: To specify, they weren't just talking about 3rd person stuff.  Chaos was created that directly affected me.)  I've talked it over with my sponsor and before taking any actions it was decided that I should do some research ... talk to people in other groups to learn how other groups are handling/securing their funds.\n\nAs I understand it there are four options:\n\n* Single person on the account\n\n* Two people on the account\n\n* Association on the account, which enables more than 2 cosigners\n\n* Incorporate\n\n... Do you know which method your group uses?  Have you experienced any similar issues of concern about access to the account?  How have your groups handled it?\n\nThanks in advance.", "post_id": "20r2fh", "comment_id": "cg6p1kb"}, {"question": "I heard making dinner helps too. I'm so glad to hear about your successes in catching this as it's happening and figuring out a way to validate yourself. ", "comment": "Love me some motherfuckin toast.", "post_id": "9qktvz", "comment_id": "e8bb4b9"}, {"question": "With your current headspace and seeking drugs as your only escape, I don't know if you will make it through the next 4 years of school. Think of it like energy, you have renewable energy and non-renewable energy. Getting through life relying on drugs might work for a while, but it gets expensive and eventually will break you down rather than keep you going. You need some clean energy from a renewable source, friends, other family, hobbies, maybe a job you enjoy so you aren't so reliant on this woman. \n\nYou talked about being sent to a pysch war in the past, well this lifestyle that you are setting yourself up for will almost certainly land you back there, and also probably drug treatment. You need to rely on yourself and on people and activities you trust. Your mom is obviously a drain, and the drugs will be too. Shit stinks, and if you don't work to get out of it, your still standing in shit. There are times to stick it out and there are times to make a change, and I think you need to make a change. ", "comment": "i have my answer, i dont trust therapists, my first therapist was an awesome lady that actually helped me, but then she said i was okay enough to not go to therapy anymore and i was like 'awesome!! im normal now', but then shit really hit the fucking fan, like, skipping school just to walk around the city by myself, getting into random fucking fights because i wanted to be hurt, eventually selfharm, then started smoking then started drinking and i called the number she gave me,, she told me to call her if i ever needed something, but no one picked up and i wondered why,, i didnt get my answer for months, maybe a year,, she had cancer and died,, she didnt tell me,, i trusted her more than anyone to tell me how shit really was and she didnt tell me, she fed me this bullshit fairytale about me being okay enough to continue on my own,, so i guess, my real question, the real title is,,,\n\nhow do i trust therapists? i cant, i cant tell them everything if i dont trust them to not tell my mom,, i cant tell them anything because my mom is the kinda person to go behind my back and do whatever the fuck she has to to get some fucking info on me and i cant let her know,, i dont care if its law that they cant say anything to my mom, i dont care if i sign a contract myself saying they cant say anything to my mom,, they can still tell her and i would never know until its too fucking late, so seriously, what do i fucking do?", "post_id": "9cnyg9", "comment_id": "e5c3wg9"}, {"question": "There is no way of absolutely knowing if someone is lying to you in the moment.  You can only know after the fact if you find out concrete evidence to prove that what they said was untrue.  Even then, you don't necessarily know if they were just wrong or purposely knew they were telling you something that was false.  \n\n\nThis is where trust comes in.  Nobody is 100% honest all the time.  Generally, if someone says something and it turns out to be true, you grow to trust them more.  If they say something and it turns out to be a lie, you trust them less.  \n\n\nIt's safe to assume that not everyone is going to tell the truth all the time, but also that not everyone is going to lie to you all the time. You get to decide how trusting or skeptical you want to be of people from the get go.  After that, you get to decide whether to trust them more or be more skeptical of them based on how often you catch them in a lie and the significance of those lies to you.", "comment": "I have a very hard time trusting people and what they say. I think compared to the average person I am much more distrusting of others. How do you know if people really mean what they say? How do you know if they\u2019re not just lying?", "post_id": "dq7f0c", "comment_id": "f610vnq"}, {"question": "If you hang out with friend 1:1, is your marriage gonna splode?", "comment": "Hoping you guys can help me out. I am a 44 year old man who was hopelessly single for the majority of my life. 4 years ago I met the love of my life and we got married last year. Throughout my 20's and 30's I made a lot of close platonic female friendships. It definitely feels like since the wedding a couple of these friendships have fallen apart. One specifically was absolutely one of, if not my best friend. Partly this is my fault. I told my wife (38) that years ago (18 years ago) I was interested in my friend. I voiced my interest and was subsequently and harshly rebuffed. Some six years after that we ran into each other at a party and she apologized for how she acted and regretted that it seemed to ruin our friendship. We became very close and talked about everything. I was there for her while her long term relationship was falling apart and she was there for me through all of my trial and error with the ladies. To say that she is one of the biggest reasons why I could get to the point where I even had the balls to ask someone like my wife out on a date and then be confident enough to keep dating her is not an understatement. I also want to state for the record that I love my wife, and she is the most incredible person I have ever met and she is my partner in crime. I never tire of being around her. In many ways she has become my best friend.  The problem is that even though it's been 18 years since I was attracted to my friend my wife has made it explicitly clear that she is not okay with the two of us hanging out one on one. This is an issue as this has always been the basis of our relationship. My friend got married during my wife and I's first year of dating. I am not fond of her husband but he is a good dude and treats her right. The day she told me they were engaged I vowed to concentrate on all the things I liked about him and also become his friend because he was going to be around a long time. I still probably wouldn't hang out with just him, but I find him a pleasure to be around and look forward to seeing him.  I have never felt like my friend has done the same for my wife, but to be fair my wife has been frosty towards my friend from the get go.  Where I may have messed this up beyond repair is a couple years after my wife and I had been dating my friend started giving me shit about never being around anymore and I told her that my wife was not cool with us hanging out one on one. We have tried halfheartedly to get the couples together but it never seems to happen. We really only see each other now if we happen to be at the same social gathering and that kind of sucks. Her birthday was last month and I shot her a text wishing her a happy birthday. She thanked me and then I asked if she did anything fun on her birthday and she did not respond. So I guess my question is have any of you dealt with something like this and how was it rectified? Is my friendship just over? Any suggestions on how to repair the friendship would be appreciated. Thanks.", "post_id": "6a4awh", "comment_id": "dhbnxa6"}, {"question": "No I usually Daydream about stuff that goes on around me. Like, what if Ninjas popped out of that closet? How would it look if I did a flip out of that window? I bet I could wall run that wall.\n\nI never imagine myself in a Daydream it's always from my perspective", "comment": "One of the activities that consume my day is listening to music and daydreaming scenarios or stories based around the music. I never really imagine myself though, or at least not the person I see when I look in the mirror. I\u2019ve pushed people away just to do this; along with losing precious time just to sit and waste away in daydreaming. I get so lost in these daydreams and it makes me feel better in a way. This behavior can be noted when I was younger too and would play pretend characters all the time, typical kid behavior except I would do it for weeks.\n\nWhen I daydream, I\u2019ll imagine myself in the perspective of my own characters I created, or ones from games I\u2019ve played. Often wishing I really were this person. I\u2019ll imagine myself in a fantasy world where I may even be the opposite gender character. Im not gender dysphoric and aren\u2019t unhappy being a female so I\u2019m a little baffled why. Im not sure if me feeling like my life holds no purpose is the reason to why I maladaptive daydream. Thinking of myself as a character in a story gives me importance, and the other people in my fantasy world are in my head so I\u2019m not scared of them like I am real people because I control the scenario. Video games aren\u2019t enough because in online games theres people which I highly dread.\n\nI\u2019m decently skilled in arts and crafts (despite my economic situation holding me back) I\u2019ve thought about genuinely creating costumes and things for these characters I have created and living them out to help how much I daydream. However reality is reality and I know people would consider me a freak show, and my only good relationship I\u2019ve ever had may suffer too. My family would look down upon me as well. \n\nSo in conclusion, anyone have any advice or similar experiences?\nEdit: I also have an unholy obsession with mask, like the idea of being able to conceal yourself and be elusive makes me giddy.", "post_id": "gst4ce", "comment_id": "fs8hh95"}, {"question": "There isnt really one as anger tends to be a symptom of something else. ODD is a pretty sketchy diagnosis at the best of times too. ", "comment": "My dad has always had a very quick temper and yells and screams and makes a big deal out of nothing. I've been out of his house for 10 years but he still wants to remain in contact with me but he has not changed his attitude. Any other anger disorders that I can bring to his attention?", "post_id": "akzd1t", "comment_id": "efac3dd"}, {"question": "The thing with many people on the ASD spectrum is that they aren't always aware of some of the social \"rules\" that most people take for granted. So if you don't say something, he may never know that there is a problem. Even \"hints\" may not work. DISCLAIMER: I am an internet stranger and I don't know this guy's history, so take with a grain of salt.\n\nI would recommend being honest, direct but fair, and reassuring. You could say to him for example, \"Hey, I'm glad to see you, but I really need to focus on studying right now so I can't talk. We can talk in the game room later today if you want.\"\n\nIf he's redirecting conversations, you could say \"Hey we were just talking about (something else) actually.\"\n\nDepending on how well he knows you - you may want to sit him down at some point and explain that you enjoy his company, but you just don't want to talk about Magic or memes or whatever quite as much as he does, so you would appreciate a break. Maybe designate a certain hangout time to talk games and stuff instead of doing it constantly. HOWEVER you have to be careful if you want to do this as you don't want to hurt his feelings - but, it may be helpful for him if he had someone there for him to teach him about social situations and how far is too far - of course, I don't know his situation so maybe not. He may have had some bad experiences with friends in the past, too.", "comment": "Ok, so I just started going to college and one of the people among my little friend group has kind of gotten \\*really\\* attached to me. As in, when I'm walking around in between classes or in the commons area working or relaxing between classes, he will \\*always\\* manage to find me. \n\nI don't mind him too much as he is genuinely a fun guy to talk to sometimes, but \\*God\\*, I just want to write in peace! I want to be able to talk to one of my friends or study without him showing up and talking to me about memes and video games and Magic: The Gathering the entire time! I would love to talk about these sorts of things in the game room or when I'm free, but it feels like he's following me sometimes or that he has a crush on me?\n\nI've tried to just tell him that I'm studying, but he takes that as an invitation to sit down with me and talk to me while I'm working on things. He has mentioned that he's autistic and after talking about him to one of my friends, they said he doesn't many friends. If that wasn't true, I'd just tell him to stop fucking following me, but I don't want to hurt his feelings and possibly have problems with my other friends. Again, he's also genuinely fun to hang out with sometimes, I just want to tell him to leave me alone sometimes without coming off like a bitch?", "post_id": "euu809", "comment_id": "ffrkz40"}, {"question": "Vivid dreams are cool and interesting anyone who says otherwise, that's anxiety talking", "comment": "I forgot what it was like to dream, and how important it is somewhat. For 3 years my sleep was shit, and I rarely dreamt. If I did, they were short lived. \n\nBut in the past 30 days or so, wow. I haven\u2019t had dreams like this since I was young. They seem to last hours, and they\u2019re insanely vivid. Sometimes they\u2019re dark, but still interesting. It\u2019s an insane glimpse into my subconscious and I actually really appreciate it. Not only that, but I\u2019m actually feeling refreshed when I wake up, and I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s party because of dreaming and REM sleep. My creativity is off the charts lately, and I used to think I needed weed to be creative. But this is different; it\u2019s almost primitive in a way. \n\nJust something weird I\u2019ve been feeling lately, don\u2019t know how to put it exactly. Anyone else feel this way with dreaming coming back, and it\u2019s effect on your day to day life?", "post_id": "e543o8", "comment_id": "f9hrbnn"}, {"question": "Sounds like your addiction talking. \"Sure you had 2 years once, but that doesn't mean anything. Your been struggling to get past 3 months must mean you'll never make it, so why even bother? Better go get loaded again\" etc etc.\n\nSounds like it's time to head back to treatment friend. No shame in asking for help.", "comment": "The longest amount of time I\u2019ve ever had clean was 2 years, most of which I spent in long term treatment and sober living houses. I\u2019m 19 and I\u2019ve relapsed 3 times this year, each time around my 3 month mark. I feel fine, but then suddenly something will set me off and before you know it I\u2019m off to the races. I relapsed on Thanksgiving last week and have spent the last week smoking meth. I feel like I\u2019ll never be able to get long term sobriety and that I\u2019ll always hit this wall at 3 months. I don\u2019t know what the point of it all is. ", "post_id": "7heqiz", "comment_id": "dqqijk7"}, {"question": "I get something similar from heat/sweating. It\u2019s a form of foliculitis and I keep an antibiotic lotion at the ready whenever I have a \u201cflair\u201d.", "comment": "Info about me: 16F 5\u2019 5\u201d 145 lbs no meds no drugs no alcohol no other issues\n\nIt all over my butt and spreads down the back of my thighs. It\u2019s mostly just normal-sized \u201cpimples\u201d but there are several very painful big ones, that I admittedly mess even though I know I shouldn't. I\u2019ve tried using my Neutrogena face acne medicine in it. The normal sized ones usually stay but the big ones come and go. I\u2019ve had them for so long and they\u2019re extremely uncomfortable/painful to move or sit with/super embarrassing so that I can\u2019t wear shorts or bathing suits without being very, very self-conscious and hiding, sadly even with my boyfriend. It's super hard to talk about, and whenever I try to mention it to my parents, it's blown off as gross, which doesn't help the situation. I don\u2019t know what it is or what to do about it. It's not STDs (my boyfriend has only been with one other \\[not sexually\\] and I have only been with one other \\[not sexually\\], plus not any similar symptoms) and it's most likely not diet-related.", "post_id": "fc0bmm", "comment_id": "fj81x79"}, {"question": "I would suggest finding a prescriber with experience in addiction medicine.  I assume you take Adderall to address ADHD, and it looks like it's crossed over the blurry line into addiction.  Anyway, you may benefit from reducing Adderall and trying something that will help stabilize dopamine levels.\n\nAlso, reach out; attend some meetings, and seek treatment if you can afford it.  It really does help.", "comment": "I don\u2019t know what to do. I have none left and yes I\u2019m very addicted to it. I have zero motivation to even wake up in the morning. I\u2019m completely alone in this.. Any advice would help. Thanks Guys", "post_id": "1yalrc", "comment_id": "cfitip2"}, {"question": "Asexual people can have a lot of sex. Though it would be driven by emotional neediness of some sort, not pure libido. I would move on and not think about her so much. You weren't compatible. Period.", "comment": "A little over a year into our relationship, my (ex) girlfriend (I am also a woman) told me she was on the asexual spectrum. I first reacted with surprise and almost disbelief. We had had sex many times. How could she be telling me she was asexual? It took me a while but I eventually came to understand that she really just didn't view sex the way I did. She claimed she never felt \"horny\" or that feeling of wanting another person. She was able to get turned on occasionally, but only after a lot of foreplay. She also didn't really enjoy making out. \nAt first I blamed myself. I thought It must be me that she wasnt attracted to. She had been in sexual relationships before... she even bragged about all the straight women she had slept with. And she had never \"came out\" as asexual to them. Why now? Why with me? \nAfter time she convinced me that it was not me... that she just simply lacked the desire to have sex...with anyone. \nAfter 3 years we opened up our relationship and I slept with someone else. It took me a long long time to feel comfortable even wanting to sleep with someone else other than her. Monogamy had been easy for me in the past, even comfortable, but now that I was basically denied the ability to express myself sexually, I felt lonely and undesireable. My insecurities grew and I was unhappy. I chose to sleep with someone else for my own health and happiness but also for the health of my relationship. I didn't want to put any pressure on her to meet my sexual needs when it was such a complicated issue with her. \nOpening up our relationship came with its own issues and struggles, but for the most part it seemed like we were both happier open than monogamous. We communicated better and more honestly about our crushes on other people and our feelings about sex in general. Or so I thought. \nWe were together for 4 and a half years and 3 weeks ago she broke up with me. 4 days later she fucked our mutual friend, who is also her best friends sister. They are still dating, and still fucking. \n 1st Question: THIS IS FUCKED UP RIGHT? \nThis girl was my family, we have two dogs together, and now I feel completely replaced. Not to mention lied to and betrayed. My heart is shattered. \nI feel like she used asexuality as a way to hide from me. She wants to be friends now, and even after all this I can't help but want her in my life. I just don't know if I can ever trust her again. Especially if she stays with this other..person. What do I do? I still feel so angry and hurt. How do I move past this? Do I tell her how I feel? \n\nI need some advice please. It would be very much appreciated. I'm struggling. \n\nXo somegirl.\n\n", "post_id": "70gprd", "comment_id": "dn2zyf0"}, {"question": "The meds are not a concern, but maybe seeking advice about your anxiety might be worth your time. ", "comment": "I am a 21 year old male, around 75kg. \n\nI already was taking vitamin D (2000iu), magnesium (200mg) and zinc (10mg). After a friendly box sparring which turned to be more intensive I was hit twice on my head. After two days of headache I thought I got a concussion. After this I also was taking curcumin from NovaSol (which reaches the blood brain barrier) (500mg) and fish oil (1,5g). I was taking curcumin one day off and one day on for a period of 10 days. So, not more than 5 capsules. During this period I also took paracetamol because I fell very sick.\n\nBut when I stopped taking curcumin and paracetamol strange things happened to me. I got brainzaps. I don't know if this was caused by the anxiety, the concussion I thought I could have or the combination of curcumin with paracetamol.\n\nThis was like two months ago, but after that I fell pretty sick, anxious and depressed. The brainzaps went away. I was doing well, until my grandfather passed away and I was waking up during the night with nightmares. After this I got very anxious again and I had muscle spasms/twitches and weird head presssure. \n\nSo, my question is: did I fuck up? My problem is that I don't know what caused those weird symptoms? My (health) anxiety, the fact I was hit on my head of the combination of those supplements?\n\n", "post_id": "8ahs3d", "comment_id": "dwzhkq5"}, {"question": "Yep, as both other commenters stated, there could be a trauma response going on and possibly some unresolved grief.  I'm not sure where you got the idea in your head that \"it was just a stupid dog\".  For most of us our pets are family members.  I cried my eyes out for months after my cat died.  She was the first pet I ever got that was mine and not my family's.  She only lived about 2.5 years before dying of heart failure, but while I had her it was while I was living alone.  She was my best friend.  I still keep her picture up and miss her even though I have a new little buddy.  \n\nI'm a therapist and I've done a lot of grief work with clients.  When you have a loss that requires grieving, you can't avoid or go around your grief, you have to go through it.  I tell them to think about it like you're walking around with a \"?\" above your head.  That represents just how much you have to cry and feel the grief.  It represents a magic number of how many times and you won't know what it is until you've reached it.  Once you've reached it, you'll know.... \n\nYou'll never stop missing your best friend from your childhood and there's nothing wrong with that.  It's just a testament to how much you loved him.  Once you allow yourself to fully grieve, you will be able to stop letting it have such a negative impact on your life.  \n\nOne thing that was helpful to me was reading [The Rainbow Bridge](https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm)  \n\nI'm not religious at all... but I really liked reading it and boy did it make me cry.  Certainly helped me get to my magic number.  Not sure how this might help you but I hope it does.  Best of luck friend.\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)\n\nP.S. I don't believe there's such a thing as loving a person or pet \"too much\"\n", "comment": "I've always loved animals, and I still do. When I was just starting school (must have been 5 or 6) I had gone over to a friend's for a play date. Their dog had just had puppies, and there was one of them in particular that always just wanted to cuddle with me and was such a sweetheart. We named him Chuckles because of the happy little squealing sounds he made. I saw them several times while they were still with their mom, and was absolutely in love with this little guy.\n\nUnfortunately, the family wasn't able to place all the puppies, and ended up taking them to the pound. My friend told me at school and I remember being extremely sad and upset. My parents ended up adopting the same dog a couple of days later to surprise me. I was so happy; as I said, I loved this dog to death. To my parent's chagrin, he turned out to be extremely energetic, destructive, and difficult to keep in our small house. He grew to be around 90lbs, and at the time we lived in a *very* small house, but at least had a big yard. So he stayed outside a lot of the time, on a long leash with plenty of room to run. We had a big back yard out in the country. My dad would let him run around without the leash some as he mostly stayed in the yard and our few neighbors didn't mind; Chuckles was always very friendly with everyone.\n\nHowever, we lived fairly near one of those backwoods roads that people drive wayyy to fast on. Chuckles was playing across the street one day, and I called him to come inside so he could eat. He rarely listened to me, but picked this one time to do so. One second he was bounding towards me happily and the next, Jeep pushing 50mph slammed into him. My dad later told me that he crawled to our front door where he passed away a few minutes later. I was 7 years old. I didn't get along very well with other kids at that age- he was my best friend. \n\nToday, my family has another wonderful dog who I still get in to see fairly regularly. But as she gets older, and I get closer to getting a puppy of my own, I can't stop thinking about watching my dog's bones break as that car ended his life. About his scream when it hit him. I'm 21 now, and I've coped with my grandpa's death 2 years ago, and my dad nearly dying from illness before that. But sometimes the pain of thinking of that moment gets so intense it's all I can do to put my head in my hands and wait it out. I never got counseling for that, though I probably should have. At the same time, it was just a stupid dog. A stupid dog I loved too much. Why do I still think of him? Is it anxiety, depression? I dread the day our family dog passes. The grief is going to be so much worse. I don't know what I'm looking for in the comments, but anything kind or supportive is greatly appreciated. Sorry to ramble. \n\ntl;dr : I watched my dog die violently as a 7 year old kid and 14 years later I can't get over it, especially as my current dog gets older.", "post_id": "6vuw0k", "comment_id": "dm3mu68"}, {"question": "you haven't given any examples of abuse", "comment": "My friend and her bf (24 each) have had a strained relationship since the beginning. Every few months something happens to make them have a fight and question everything. When they first started dating, my friend was super confident and trusting, had no major insecurities or trust issues. Now she's developing a lot of issues over time, and getting trust issues. She and he keep saying she's paranoid, but he always does shady shit. \nThey had a huge fight last weekend and my friend was going to break up with him, but when she went to talk to him they ended up talking for hours and my friend told me that it was all her fault. That she's causing all the problems in her relationship. \n\nThis is app emotional abuse, not physical. I want to emphasize that. But he manipulates her. Everything is her fault. Ive seen the texts he's sent and he will do things he knows upsets her and then blame her for getting upset. He lectures her about how she needs to be more open and communicate, but then lies to her. Whenever he knows she's getting upset, he deletes all his messages online and on his phone. He talks to her like she's stupid and always brings up how he's going through difficult times so she's being selfish. And she believes it all. She'll go into situations with him so sure and strong and then walk away saying she messed up and she's so crazy, she's sorry he had to deal with her. She's become a completely different person. \n\nI really think this relationship is emotionally abusive. Should I tell her? How should I do it? I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm so upset that it's all her fault again and she's the bad guy and he's the victim. Again. Every time. ", "post_id": "5s1gij", "comment_id": "ddbqddt"}, {"question": "I would keep your eyes open for new people, but stay in touch with this girl. You don't want to close the door to others waiting for someone who may never be available.", "comment": "I'm friends with this girl, we've been friends for years and there's been sexual tension and feelings building up for a long time... she's just come out of a long relationship and admitted she had feelings for me as I did towards her, we were seeing each other for a month, things were going great and just recently she's backflipped and said she doesn't know what she wants (she's got a lot of stuff going on her life, I believe she misses her dog the most and she's going through other stuff in her life aswell)... she's asked for some time and space which I've given her but I get the feeling everything has changed, we get along in every aspect, I truly believe she's my soulmate it's just bad timing on how everything had happened (she's also said the same).... how long should I be waiting?? She is definitely someone I see myself spending my life with!!!! Please help lol", "post_id": "6vmaoa", "comment_id": "dm1bwdz"}, {"question": "I've definitely considered it but haven't taken the plunge. ", "comment": "Does anyone use CBD oil to manage PCOS pain? Would you recommend it? ", "post_id": "6rtg3u", "comment_id": "dl7xrtw"}, {"question": "Yoga has really helped me. Not for everyone...maybe check out Yoga with Adrienne on youtube. She has lots of short, simple yoga sequences on a range of topics from anxiety to depression, as well as yoga for physical health benefits. Good luck. ", "comment": "Anyone else have issues with this in the beginning? Right now I work about 80 hours a week and my only time to relax is Friday and Sunday evenings. All I can think about during those evenings is how badly I want to drink. I feel bored without it. I want to do other fun things in my free time but feel like I don't have the energy, so drinking often seems like the best solution. So lately all I've been doing is sitting around watching Netflix, maybe doing some chores here and there, and quite frankly it's depressing. Not sure how to start enjoying my days off again. ", "post_id": "8st0j1", "comment_id": "e12iuxl"}, {"question": "Doesn't sound like it's coming from a place of comfort or seeking comfort as much as something like cutting. ", "comment": "I\u2019m a girl and I always crave physical violence. I used to cut when I was younger, and now I want my boyfriend to slap me in the face or even punch me. I like when he rough houses me, and it\u2019s mainly during sex and I like when he slaps me out of nowhere. I hang out with another guy friend sometimes who I know will slap me too. \n\nNormal...?", "post_id": "8alwzv", "comment_id": "dwzou7r"}, {"question": "If you don't have anywhere to be or anything to do, what's the harm in not taking your meds and doing nothing? The fact you do nothing without your meds is exactly why you need them, cause you have ADHD. You can have a day off and you still have it :)", "comment": "im not sure if its just me but adhd seems to make me not want to do things that are good for me when I'm not on my meds. without them I just slob around and basically do nothing all day. that's where the problem kicks in I guess: **it also makes me not want to take my meds**. besides having to plan my mealtimes around my meds, it also kills my appetite and makes me feel nauseous-- which makes my meds seem like a last resort rather than a daily routine. \n\nRecently I've only found myself taking my medications when I find myself struggling to get through the day doing things that I NEED to be doing, but just aren't (maybe it's executive dysfunction, maybe it isn't). But when I have nothing going on in my day, no work due, no one waiting on me or expecting me, I just let myself go free of medication.  \n\n​\n\nthis has all contributed to me feeling more and more like my diagnosis is a sham and that I'm really just a lazy person. i honestly don't know what to do with regards to figuring out how to handle my medication schedule.", "post_id": "gd5rn0", "comment_id": "fpgdiic"}, {"question": "Yes, it\u2019s a known possible side effect of Saxenda. Hopefully it\u2019ll go away without the medication.", "comment": "Hi\nI am 44 yrs , white female. 151cm , 77 kg.  Medical situation location: mind. Experiencing the issue for just over a month. Medication: Saxenda. \n\n Started using Saxenda 6 months ago. Since last month for no obvious or logical reasons I started having anxiety and depression. Never have I experienced that before in my 44 years on this earth. Obviously, like most people who feel sad or depressed as a result of a broken heart I felt that too, but now it came out of the blue.\n \nUnfortunately, I am now on Cipralex since 3 weeks with no change in my mood. Stopped using Saxenda nearly a week ago.\n\nCould it be as a result of Saxenda?\n\nThanks", "post_id": "c9un8q", "comment_id": "et379vl"}, {"question": "Yes. Find a local support group. What you need is 12,000 units of validation and support. It sounds like you are doing recovery right but are in the in-between space where you aren't getting the internal control/relief anymore and haven't started to get to self-esteem based confidence so it's super important to get that validation and support from others who you value and trust. It's work but worth it. ", "comment": "I was suffering from ED for 4 years until my body just slowed itself down and I started gaining weight again while eating very little. Anyway, I was in a really difficult relationship and it ended very badly. During this relationship I isolated myself from a lot of my friends, diminished my social circle to just a handful of people who all live outside of my city, and put a strain on most other aspects of my life. This relationship ended just before I started seriously devoting myself to treatment, and over the summer I gained much more weight than I was told I would by the doctor.\n\nThe weight gain and the recovery process itself made me depressed, and it made me afraid to go outside or visit even my limited circle of friends. I haven't bought new clothes and feel like I can't face the mall. I cry most times when I have a shower I am terrified of seeing my now ex again at university, because I feel so vulnerable and my self-esteem is so low. I feel like my weight and my recovery is a visible weakness that I am wearing around like a neon sign, and I don't know what I can do. \n\nDoes anyone have advice?\n", "post_id": "6w9tvr", "comment_id": "dm6w121"}, {"question": "Hi. I know the Centre for Clinical interventions website has some very good resources re Cbt for anxiety, depression etc. While they are not specifically what you asked for they might help you. The Cbt principals are similar whatever the difficulty. Best wishes. Iwndwyt.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9ezgo4", "comment_id": "e5t0yhg"}, {"question": "Your concern is water intoxication?\n\nHow about severe alcohol intoxication leading to profound medical harm?", "comment": "One of my buddies and I run a YouTube channel and he came up with this idea of drinking 24 beers (8 L), as fast as possible. Obviously it is a horrible idea and would result in excessive projectile vometing, but is it safe?\n\nMy main concern is water intoxication. I have seen people hit pretty hard from it during practice and such, and as far as I know it can even be lethal. But in all those cases, the people getting it was pushing their bodies to the limit while drinking huge amounts of water. \n\nCan you only get water intoxication from drinking pure water without any form of additives, or do you get it from drinking to much liquid in any form? \n\nIf my physical form means anything for the outcome, I am 192cm / 6ft 3\", 80kg / 176 lbs and in pretty good shape. I do not take any kind of medication or drugs. ", "post_id": "573i2j", "comment_id": "d8p7fr7"}, {"question": "Hello! I am a mental health professional in Florida.\n\nIf he has made serious threats towards others, he qualifies for involuntary hospitalization under the Baker Act (called a 5150 nationwide). If the police have been called and they have not placed your brother under a Baker Act, then the family has an additional option. \n\nThey can go to their county clerk of court and request paperwork for what is called an Ex-Parte Order. Basically, it's a request for a judge to order a family member into involuntary mental health treatment based on the testimony of the family. Your family will fill out the paperwork, including why they believe it is best for your brother to be admitted to a crisis stabilization unit, and then submit it to a judge, who will then schedule a hearing. At that point, the family will then meet with the judge and get to plead their case, and the judge will say yes/no to the involuntary order. If the judge says yes, then authorities will go to where you brother is and escort him to a nearby receiving facility.\n\nNote that this is for mental health, not for substance abuse.\n\nIf your family would like to petition to have client evaluated for involuntary substance use treatment, they can also fill out paperwork to request a Marchman Act (through the same clerk of court). If the judge, again, deems it appropriate, then appropriate facilities can also assess if your brother would meet criteria for that as well.\n\nDo note, that this process can take a few days. If there are serious concerns and you have proof that he is of imminent harm to himself or others, then have your family call 9-1-1 again and ask for a CIT trained officer to respond.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "dko4hv", "comment_id": "f4ip4cd"}, {"question": "every relationship has different strengths and weaknesses. goes with the territory. if you love each other and have the same values, the rest is less important.  make an effort to find things that you have in common, or create new things.", "comment": "Have you guys ever loved someone but never could be friends with them.Someone you care about and cherish but its hard to talk to them like a best friend.\n\nMy girlfriend and I have been together for more than 2 years and essentially we love each other so much but i feel like the fact that we're too different people makes it hard to talk to each other and she doesn't know how to approach the situation. I feel like im robbing her of happiness when someone can provide both but, i feel like she'd never leave me because she only wants me what do i do sigh*\n\nI feel so attached to her sexually and emotionally and it bothers me because im just hoping one day ill be able to make her the happiest girl in the world.I don't want any other guy touching her or being with her because to me she's my princess shes mine.But, its been taking a toll on our relationship since she doesn't know how to fix the problem or if it is a problem in the first place....\n\nI really need help guys so be able to comment and id really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart", "post_id": "6peimj", "comment_id": "dkovu3j"}, {"question": "I am not an ob/gyn. That said, the recommendation is to avoid spironolactone in pregnancy because of at least theoretical risk to the fetus, particularly a male fetus.\n\nI encourage you to speak to an obstetrician for more detailed information.", "comment": "For example, if I am taking spironolactone and find out I\u2019m pregnant, will it still cause birth defects if I stop taking it immediately after finding out? \n\nI am a 26 year old female and have PCOS. I am not a smoker. I am 5\u20192\u201d, 100lbs, pre-diabetic, and located in Dallas, TX. \n\nCurrently I am not on spironolactone but my acne has returned in full force, which is why I\u2019m considering retaking it. I\u2019m married and not on BC, which is the reasoning for possibly getting pregnant.\n\nThank you for your help!", "post_id": "cjx1rj", "comment_id": "evh2xgh"}, {"question": "Am a mental health professional here.\n\nMental health records are protected (confidential) information. So your school wouldn't have any way of finding out if you get mental health treatment, including psychiatric medication.\n\nPlease see a therapist skilled in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Or a psychiatrist. Or both.", "comment": "21 Female\nUSA, full body\nNo known medical condition (diagnosed)\nBirth control\n\nStressful events and life changes continue to occur this past year, randomly get anxious in public.\nI'm afraid of where my mind goes when I feel like this. I always get thoughts to hurt myself, but I know I shouldn't the thoughts keep coming.\n\nBiteing my lips and my finger help with it sometimes. My heart races and I can't think.\n\nI feel alone, and don't think I can go to my family even though I live with them kinda.\n\nIf I go to a doc and get diagnosed with something I loose my scholarship but I get more stressed at school. I'm just a failure either way. How can I feel better?", "post_id": "aeqlqh", "comment_id": "edrtt8q"}, {"question": "ADHD meds are meant to be a containing influence whilst your brain develops, and typically it shouldn't be prescribed into adulthood. In practice, you might be at a stage where you no longer need it.\n\nFor all we know, you might not have needed them in the first place, but im not in a position to comment on this (obviously).\n\nWhat do you think life would be like if you were no longer on ADHD meds?", "comment": "I'm a Caucasian male, 19, and 130lbs. I'm 5'8 \n\nI have hypothyroidsm\n\nInattentive ADHD \n\nI take Adderall XR 20mg (started Vyvanse 40mg a couple weeks ago) \n\nMagnesium citrate a couple nights a week\n\nThis might be a long read so thanks for reading if you do \n\nI was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12. I've been emotionally sensitive for a few years at least. I had ADHD after visiting a doctor. A few weeks later I started Adderall XR and I thought it helped a lot. Now looking back, it only made me able to concentrate better because it would keep me from being tired often and speed me up. I got incredible amounts of euphoria when I started it. This state would still last me a few hours every single day for a few months and the comedown was awful and it wanted me to take more (but I did not) The medication would never last longer than 8 hours after the first week and over time I started to grow more impatient and compulsive. It never calmed my brain down but it never sped it up too fast either after several months (assuming tolerance) \nI'd always feel the need to talk and couldn't really silence my inner thoughts either. It actually made me act more \"adhd like\" instead and  the only difference was that these inner thoughts were more constant, less based on emotion and more based around what habits I wanted to partake in each day (smoking cigarettes, listening to music, researching random things online) \n\nRight now, I'm typing quite fast and am in a typical state of hyperfocus. Vyvanse even at 40mg (roughly equal to 15mg XR) speeds me up more and then I crash 3 hours later) so I started taking some of my leftover adderall prescription a few days ago \nI think my use of Adderall has played a big part in ruining a relationship with someone who I loved very much. We're still close friends but it hurts at times.\nI don't want to talk to my doctor about this yet because it really has helped me in many ways, but also has hurt me too. I've read that amphetmines aren't likely neurotoxic in prescribed doses (adhd or not) but I would like some advice on what to do?\n\n I do plan to talk to my doctor eventually but it doesn't seem right that this medication has basically had me high for nearly a year. The year went by too fast and I feel like things once important to me aren't as much anymore. The only things important to me I feel is what I do while on Adderall/Vyvanse \n\nI miss my old self sometimes\n\n\n\n\n\n", "post_id": "6mxn4b", "comment_id": "dk5vj8p"}, {"question": "ask her out. go slow", "comment": "I'm 19 years old and just finished my first semester of college. Recently I've been talking to an old friend of mine from elementary school. I recently found out (if u can count 2 and a 1/2 months recently) she's had a crush on me since 4th grade. Now, mind you she lives in Ohio and goes to Notre Dame. I still live in Milwaukee and go to MATC. we kept talking and eventually we stayed an unofficial/official relationship. things were good until I found out she's had really bad depression since 6th grade after we went to different schools after elementary. things got complicated and we technically broke off the relationship, but decided to just play this out a little until her depression comes down from its spike like it usually would. She went on break and was in Milwaukee for about a week and some change during Halloween. we made plans,  rather freaky plans, for Friday. Some shit came up and she couldn't make it. we both went back to our respective schools once break was over to finish out or semesters. things were still pretty good between us. now we're both on winter break until the 2nd week of January and she is in Milwaukee. she doesn't leave until like the 8th or something. I decided not to try to make plans cause I was in the process of helping my mom move and moving out of her house into my dad's house, and finishing up 3 programming projects I had for my classes. like I expected, when word got out she was coming down on the 17th, which is actually my birthday, people stayed making plans out the ass. she ate Christmas dinner with her family on the 24th and I was doing a bit of running around so I decided to see if she wanted to go seeing as we both lovedrinking and I would be doing that for most of Christmas. she was up north at her grandparents house and couldn't leave. I still went out but didn't drink that much (plastic cup of Jose Cuervo mixed with cranberry and orange juice and 2 shots of straight Jose Cuervo) since I wouldn't have my drinking partner with me. I really miss tf outta her and I'm now in a funk cause it seems like the universe is just saying 'No. u two mfs stay FAR FAR AWAY from eachother\ud83d\udc79\ud83d\ude08\ud83d\udc79' and I really wanna see her before new years eve. over the past month it seems like she just doesn't feel like talking to me or is going out of her way to ignore me. she makes posts on fb and sc but never send to respond to my messages or texts and when she does is usually one word responses like idk or the infamous '...'. she did the same thing before we broke off the relationship and said she trends to do that when she feels really down and just becomes a terrible conversationalist. but I try to make conversation with her almost everyday and she's still constantly talking about none of her friends are responding to her messages on sc and fb or her texts and she just left me on 'seen' 5 minutes prior. this is hard cause I really love this girl and I believe she loves me, but at times this shit gets irritating and I don't even know wtf to do. I'm not gonna post anything on fb cause that fucked up my last relationship and I don't wanna just keep all this shit in cause right now I don't know whether to cry or just break every fucking thing in site. it's also hard because I know she does care about me a lot and I don't wanna seem like an ass who just leaves her everytime he doesn't get his way. wtf should I do? ", "post_id": "5kgqxy", "comment_id": "dbntxua"}, {"question": "1 know what you're looking for\n2 know what you're not looking for\n3 don't jump into bed right away\n4 go slow. spend a lot of time talking. define what you want yourselves to be as a couple. don't allow assumptions and ambiguities to prevail", "comment": "Im 22M and ive never had a long term relationship. Its all i want, as im not a hook up type guy. I just recently hooked up with a nice girl but it wasnt fullfilling at all to me. Ive never been in love with someone beside when i was with my middleschool GF, but i dont think that counts.\n\nMy problem is  i always go for the wrong kind of girls. Ive had about 5 diffrent relationships in my life, only 2 of which were what could be considered a mature relationship, but they didnt last very long. First was 2 months, other was 2 weeks\n\nHow do i make better decisions about girls? How do i know who to go for? I want something fullfilling. A actual connection to another human you know?\n\nI realize its probably more of just putting myself out there and dating, but im not very sure how to go about this realy.\n\nIm introverted but not antisocial, and im tipicly very friendly to people, but i just cant figure out women i get involved with.\n\nIdk if anyone else has this sort of issue but id be grateful for any advice towards selecting. \n\nTLDR - im bad at picking out a girl whos right for me and id like advice on dating", "post_id": "5mnzyd", "comment_id": "dc4zi1x"}, {"question": "Hoarding is an anxiety disorder and a good therapist can do wonders. Your husband needs to help his mother seek help. Some educational information about hoarding may help. DO NOT take your children there! ", "comment": "Let me start by saying that I (35 F) am unable to discuss this with my husband (33 M) because he is very sensitive to this situation. So sensitive that he didn\u2019t introduce me to his mother for a year and a half into dating.  Last week,  my MIL went away for the day and asked me to come over and let her dog out during the day. My hubby happened to be home for the day and and went with me. Thank god he did. I have never seen so much stuff before in my life. Not just stuff, but actual garbage. Sure, I\u2019ve been over there a few times in the 7 years we\u2019ve been together, but it\u2019s been a good 6 months and I feel after my last visit, she maybe tidied up a bit before hand as we have two very small kids. There was a walking path through the house and we had to step over animal feces and urine. Our daughter is four and mentioned how much of a mess the house is and my husband immediately snapped at her.  She mentioned a while back that she wanted to host Xmas dinner at her house this year, I\u2019m not really too sure what to do, first of all there are so many things for the little ones to get into, not to mention the health and safety aspect of the animal urine and feces all over the place.  The odor is overwhelming. I don\u2019t want to hurt her feelings and my husband would be very embarrassed and hurt if I mentioned anything to him about not wanting to go. Honestly, I don\u2019t feel like it\u2019s the best environment for small children to be in and I can\u2019t see how anyone else would. How do I begin to talk about this with my husband without offending anyone? ", "post_id": "9isfsx", "comment_id": "e6nbv5i"}, {"question": "I love this :D", "comment": "I'm extremely afraid of doing something wrong, being devalued, and getting rejected and abandoned by people I care about. When I get really depressed or down, this gets particularly bad because I'll just lie in bed feeling miserable, and then judge myself for feeling miserable. Doing things that are healthy for me (eating meals, doing chores, exercising, leaving the house) feels impossible because I feel like I'm worthless and hopeless. \n\nToday I was in this state. I knew that I should do some chores, make myself food, eat all of the food, and then go out and call one of my friends. But I felt like depression was weighing down my limbs and making it impossible to move. \n\nIt's really hard for me to convince myself that I'm worth something in this state, or to think anything positive by myself. Emotionally, that feels like absolutely not the truth, and I can't really be objective about my value when I'm so depressed and miserable. So rather than trying to tackle the issue of self-love head on, I took a bit of a shortcut with puppy talk. \n\nDogs sometimes refuse to follow orders even if you're telling them to do what's best for them, just like my body and the self-hating part of me does when I'm depressed. Nevertheless, when I see a dog, my first urge is to praise it and be kind to it, no matter what it does. \n\nSo I took up this mentality with myself. I was lying on the floor heavy with depression. I forced myself to get up, and then I said \"Good boy!\" to myself, which felt kind of silly, but also made me feel warm and happy. Then I walked three steps to the kitchen, said \"Good boy!\" to myself again, went to the sink to wash dishes, said \"Good boy!\" again, and so on and so on. I kept doing this, talking myself the way I'd talk to a dog and being nice to myself until I had gotten out the door. \n\nToday went from a \"stay in bed, dissociate, and hate yourself\" day to a \"go out, meet friends, walk around, exercise, and enjoy yourself\" day because I discovered this coping mechanism! Although I get that it might not be for everyone, I hope it helps someone else out there. :)  ", "post_id": "7eetdb", "comment_id": "dq504j1"}, {"question": "Someone may have already said something like this, but I want to put out there--someone who comes in with full awareness of their BPD symptoms feels very different to many therapists than someone who doesn't. It can be less intimidating if a client were to come in demonstrating awareness of these behavior patterns. What can be so intimidating about BPD is that some people who have it (not all) can direct intense anger at others, which is even more intimidating if the person isn't aware of their patterns. They might get even more angry if the therapist tries to diagnose them with BPD or explain the patterns. \n\n​\n\nHowever, when someone has an awareness, sometimes the therapist feels more comfortable working with the behaviors, because the person is less likely to blow up if the therapist tries to give them feedback, since they're already aware. \n\n​\n\nThere is still, of course, the chance that a therapist might feel intimidated even if someone came in with that already-established awareness. But you wouldn't want to work with that therapist anyway, so at least you'll know it wouldn't be a good fit. :) Hope you find someone you click with!", "comment": "Tl;dr at bottom\n\nOne of my goals for when I start attending college in the fall is to start seeing a therapist or someone similar. I've been too scared to talk to my family about my mental health the past few years, so I've been silently suffering. \n\nI took AP psychology this past year, and as part of it, we looked in depth at some mental disorders. While I hate self diagnosing, I do believe that I may fit the criteria for borderline personality disorder. I researched BPD as part of a project in the class, and the more I looked into it, the more it seemed to fit my behavior and actions, especially in the past couple of years. \n\nMy one fear about seeing a therapist about having BPD is that apparently there is a huge stigma around it, even within the world of therapists. I'm afraid that if I am diagnosed with BPD, my therapist will act differently because of my diagnosis. How can I get over my fear of being rejected by a therapist due to a disorder I might not have?\n\nAnother issue that I might have is with medication. If I am diagnosed with BPD, or a piece of it like depression or anxiety, I know that I will probably be told to take medication. As far as I know, medication is administered through pills. I have a very strong gag reflex in the back of my throat, so I have never been able to take pills successfully. Are there any medications that I can take that aren't in a pill form? If not, what is a recommended way to take pills for someone who has difficulty swallowing them?\n\nTl;dr - How can I get over my fear of being rejected by a therapist due to a disorder I might not have? Are there medications that I can take that aren't in a pill form? If not, what is a recommended way to take pills for someone who has difficulty swallowing them?", "post_id": "cbc3h3", "comment_id": "etgh9h0"}, {"question": "That does sound like a stroke. If it happens and gets better, it could be a transient ischemic attack (TIA), which is like a stroke that's not as bad and temporary. The bad news is that having those means a high risk of having a more serious stroke.\n\nThere are a number of other diseases that can have similar effects, but most would have other manifestations. This is the kind of thing that really sounds like it needs a medical workup.", "comment": "Excuse me if this is formatted weirdly, I\u2019m on mobile. Also I hope this is the correct subreddit for this situation.\n\nFor the record, my uncle is a white man in his mid 50\u2019s who was a smoker and drinker that quit both years ago. \n\nThis easter, my uncle seemed to have this mental break. I\u2019ve only just been in contact with this part of my family and have known them all for only a handful of years, so I\u2019ve never seen him act like this. It was as if he was drunk off his ass without a drop of alcohol (they don\u2019t drink much over there). He was talking very normally at one moment, and then minutes later he was just... gone. Very very happy and silly but obviously the conscious adult part of his brain left the building. He was also slurring and having some trouble getting his words out. At first I thought he was having a stroke or something but none of my family acted as if something was strange. When I asked about it later they said it just happens to him sometimes. I\u2019ve tried googling what happened, but nothing seemed to be accurate to his situation. \nAny thoughts? ", "post_id": "88uxx7", "comment_id": "dwnuypl"}, {"question": "I would avoid getting psych prescriptions from a GP. Instead, it would be wiser and healthier for you to see a psychiatrist if at all possible. They have training in those types of medications and are much more qualified to prescribe appropriate medications.", "comment": "So i have serious anxiety & panic episodes and really want benzos but i think my Gp is holding back because my dad abused alcohol and so did his mother. Does this actually happen?", "post_id": "1f66n5", "comment_id": "ca7ekwb"}, {"question": "i'd suggest marriage counseling.", "comment": "I've been arguing with my wife for the last week or so and  I feel like I'm in the right but no matter if I'm right or wrong I always end up being the one saying I'm sorry and looking like the bad guy. She has found a way to turn every fight into me being wrong. How do you overcome someone who does this? ", "post_id": "75d1y3", "comment_id": "do5b136"}, {"question": "There's no danger to combining melatonin and vitamin D.\n\nI am a little bit skeptical and curious here, though. Low levels of vitamin D has an association with depression, but it's unclear just how that works or whether (or how) correcting vitamin D levels helps, or even what level is \"corrected\" for non-bone purposes. I would think of vitamin D as a cause of sleep disorders as much more of a hypothesis than a diagnosis, and then only if other, common causes have been ruled out.", "comment": "I have a vitamin d deficiency. Have to wake up early I am sleeping late bc vit d deficiency insomnia. Can I take melatonin to get a better nights sleep ?", "post_id": "8akss5", "comment_id": "dwzer09"}, {"question": "I explained it to the people I\u2019m close to. I told them about what my relationship with alcohol was really like and how miserable it made me.  Once they understood that, everyone has been really supportive.  The way I see it, if I care enough about someone to choose to spend time with them, I care enough to give them the full story about my drinking. \n\nI don\u2019t really spend much time with acquaintances anymore, because they were really all just drinking buddies.", "comment": "When I talk to a lot of friends family etc I get a lot of \u201cyou don\u2019t have to totally quit, everything is fine in moderation, you\u2019re not even that bad, etc\u201d. I\u2019m not sure why. I think it\u2019s part that they might be pretty bad too and are in sort of a denial about how bad drinking is in general. Also for some of them they might not know how bad this stuff impacts me. And for some they don\u2019t realize how mad I get at myself when I do it. They think I could just go out, have a few, have a good time and then move on the next day whereas my drinking is hardly ever like that. But it\u2019s tempting to believe them and want to give it a shot. To want to believe that I can drink socially and enjoy it and not overdo it. Any advice for getting that idea out of my head and not letting these people sway me? To better focus on enjoying my day and being social even if it doesn\u2019t involve alcohol?", "post_id": "dk7qqx", "comment_id": "f4g40tp"}, {"question": "I love this idea. I met my best friend, now boyfriend through Reddit because I posted something about looking for a friend. Hopefully this helps other people.", "comment": "Hello, this is my first time posting here; I've been lurking for a few weeks.  I've noticed a trend--that I myself am also experiencing--of folks that feel like it's harder to connect with others and start up friendships.  \n\nI'd like to propose a sort of e-penpals 'project.' Anyone that is interested in sparking up a friendship or 'practicing' getting to know someone could comment on this thread (or even a separate subreddit?) and we could pair up or even do a sort of group chat thing.\n\nIf this is something we already do, please let me know and I'd love to join! \n\nA few ideas/examples of ways to 'pair' up:\n- Age \n\n- Gender (if you're more comfortable opening up to someone based on this criteria)\n\n- Location (allows potential for meeting up IRL if both parties feel comfortable)\n\n- Type of depression/coexisting issues (For example, I also have ADD and AvPD)\n\n- Hobbies\n\n- Randomly\n\n\nThanks for reading!", "post_id": "6ehxjd", "comment_id": "diafisp"}, {"question": "Depression is a very good liar, don\u2019t believe what it tells you about your worth. Don\u2019t believe what it tells you when it says you are a bad person. \n\nI\u2019m glad that you chose to give yourself another chance. You should call your therapist or somebody who can help keep you safe if you need to \u2764\ufe0f", "comment": "I know it's stupid and I'm not looking for pity or compliments. I just want to get this off my chest. \n\nI've been here before and I've gotten myself out of dark places before. But I'm just tired. You work so hard to get yourself into a good, healthy, self-love place and it all just crumbles so damn quickly. And i'm just too tired to do it all again. \n\nAt the end of the day, i know I won't do it because if i was, i wouldn't be here writing this. I know that life has so much for me and i know that when wake up tomorrow i have so many opportunities to make my life better. I also know i don't deserve it. I've fooled everyone into thinking, from my friends and family to my therapist that I'm a good person, but it's bullshit. \n\nI guess there was no real point to this post. If you've read this far then I'm sorry for wasting your time, but if you can relate then take solace in knowing you aren't alone in your feelings. If you can't relate, be grateful x", "post_id": "bur7px", "comment_id": "ephltcm"}, {"question": "Serious question, how would this proceed in the medical board? As OP said, it's her word against his.", "comment": "This happened in Illinois. I have suffered from migraines and was referred to a neurologist. I am a 26 year old female, and doctor was fairly young (maybe low to mid 30s). During the visit, it felt like he was coming on very strong to me. He kept complimenting my looks, telling me how amazing I am, how good my body looks, etc. I am a stay at home mom right now with a toddler. The whole visit was extremely flirtatious and made me uncomfortable. I never once said anything like \"thank you\" because of how weird and uncomfortable it was. When I would change the subject or ignore the complement, he would almost act as if he had been rejected.\n\n​\n\n\nThe worst part was when he asked me if I would be interested in a more 'natural' treatment approach to migraines. He said that orgasms can help reduce migraines, and kept following up asking me about how often my husband and I have sex, telling me I could 'take care of myself' since I stay home, etc. He even said \"..I know some women aren't able to have orgasms, are you able to?\"\n\n​\n\n\n\nObviously I won't be going back to see him again, but I am curious if he technically did something wrong in this situation. He never touched me, or anything physical. I just feel like this type of behavior shouldn't be allowed, but when it is just his word vs. mine, there isn't much I can do now. I did some light research of my own after the visit, and it doesn't seem like orgasms are really a medically recognized treatment, so I feel that he might have overstepped by recommending that option? The situation seemed inappropriate to me based on the power dynamics of a patient - physician relationship, but I don't know if he technically did something wrong here.\n\n​\n\n\nI checked with the state board and his license is active. Couldn't find anything online that would indicate he has a record, or something like this has happened before. Do I just let it go? Obviously all the upstanding docs here on r/AskDocs wouldn't condone this type of behavior... but is this a gray area? \n\n\nRequired Info:\n\n\\- 26 years old\n\n\\-female\n\n\\- 5'-4\"\n\n\\- 115lbs\n\n\\- Caucasian \n\n", "post_id": "9ys3zi", "comment_id": "ea4i874"}, {"question": "I\u2019m in a similar situation in some ways. I\u2019ve also been limiting taking new clients even though I do have some time in my schedule. I think that\u2019s fair. If your burnout is high you need to protect your energy for the clients you already have. \n\nI am also seeing patients from a very small apartment and it makes it really hard to have boundaries around my work. I\u2019ve designated one specific chair as my work chair.  I really really try not to do any sessions from my bed because I just need to preserve that space. Can\u2019t help doing some from the bedroom (because that\u2019s all there is) but I try to at least avoid my bed. \n\nDo you have a therapist yourself? I think we all need support at these times and we have to keep ourselves as healthy as we can mentally as well as physically. The situation can feel really impossible. \n\nI am also trying to cut myself some slack for not being as good a therapist as usual.  I do my best but there are limitations emotionally and practically. And I\u2019m trying to let myself off the hook for just doing the best I can in each session. \n\nI really get what you\u2019re saying.", "comment": "My company has started doing telehealth with our families and clients since our early intervention clinic is closed due to Covid. All of my sessions are done on the bed or bedroom floor because of HIPPA, and the fact that my husband is also working from home. We're in a 1 bedroom apartment. Even parks and trails are chained up and locked, so there's very few options for a safe change of scenery. I feel guilty saying I can't take any more clients ( I have 4 clients and will soon have 6) because I'm the only clinician without kids or family to take care of, and we're being paid our full salary ( at least for this month). I'm having a harder and harder time holding myself together. I can't sleep, I'm crying on and off all the time, and I'm becoming anxious about everything. I don't know how to say no, or even if I can, and I just want to unplug everything and make these responsibilities go away. But I can't - because my clients and their families are hurting even more.  I don't know how long I can maintain this.", "post_id": "g1mi8r", "comment_id": "fnh34x5"}, {"question": "\ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f", "comment": "\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\ud83d\ude43\n\nAnother gem: he asked how long I\u2019ve been in my current relationship and when I said two years he said that was more proof that I don\u2019t have BPD because if I did my boyfriend wouldn\u2019t have stuck around that long. \n\nHopefully someone can engrave that on my headstone along with \u201cshe couldn\u2019t wait 4 months for an appointment to see a psych for medication\u201d", "post_id": "ead2s8", "comment_id": "fape1ys"}, {"question": "You're not alone, and this happens enough that there's a term for it, misophonia, although it's not a standardized diagnosis. There's also little clear guidance on what to do about it. It's possible that therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, can help you manage the overwhelming reaction, but nobody really knows.", "comment": "I know this sounds crazy but for the longest time I have always had an issue with sounds. For example, I cannot stand the sound of another person eating near me. It makes me feel like I\u2019m going to explode inside and I get really irritable. It\u2019s affecting my home life but it\u2019s uncontrollable. The same thing happens when I hear pencils writing on paper. Also when there is too much noise in one place (tv on, music in background, kids on phone..all at one time) I have full blown anxiety attacks and have to leave. Is something wrong with me? I feel like I should just be able to stop myself from getting so irritated but it\u2019s like instant and uncontrollable irritation as soon as I\u2019m in any of these situations. \n\nI am a healthy 28yo F with no medical issues. 5\u20194, 110lbs, ongoing issue for as long as I can remember but seems to be getting worse.", "post_id": "cwkjbr", "comment_id": "eyceb0q"}, {"question": "Id probably recommend sertraline as an alternative, but im sure youll find the right treatment for your individual needs. Good luck!", "comment": "Hello! \n\nAs per the title I started taking Cymbalta about 3 days ago but it gave me some side effects I couldn't quite stick out (elevated heart rate, worse anxiety, and chills) so I decided to drop off of it. I called my pharmacists and they said I shouldn't have any issues after three days, however, I wanted to get some other opinions here. I've heard some stories about this drug (which I didn't look into until after taking it, sigh) where people have had intense withdrawal systems some people claiming only after taking it for a week or less. \n\nI'm inclined to think those are a bit on the dramatic side, has anyone had experience with this drug? I can't imagine after only 4 days I will experience the dire effects people who've taken it long term have, however, based on the stories of others should I expect anything? \n\nThank you! ", "post_id": "54d5l0", "comment_id": "d81e74o"}, {"question": "This is attachment-based behavior. Depending on how intractable his pattern of avoidance is, this may or may not be treatable by an experienced couples therapist. See if he\u2019s willing to give that a go; if not there\u2019s probably not much you can do beyond calmly approaching him without attacking. \n\nYou don\u2019t deserve to continue being caught up in this dynamic; if he\u2019s not willing to look at it your choice is either to endure it for the length of your relationship, or to get out. Good luck. ", "comment": "How do I move past this? its happened more times than I can count now. I approach the subject at hand in a calm and tactful manner (truthfully) but it doesn't seem to matter how carefully I tread, he switches off and he becomes unreachable. He finally gets back to me, sometimes after days, and we never talk about it. I guess after hes silent for that long, I begin to feel relieved he wants to talk again. \nHelp?", "post_id": "74uoqe", "comment_id": "do1gjj6"}, {"question": "Check with your state health department for recommendations on testing in your state: https://www.cdc.gov/publichealthgateway/healthdirectories/healthdepartments.html", "comment": "Hi! I [23F] Am a medical assistant at an urgent care center and primary care, so we\u2019ve been getting a lot of sick patients especially in the last few weeks come in with complaints of cough, fever, aches, and even some that have admitted travel (even though we have a sign saying we don\u2019t have the necessary tests for COVID-19). My question is, should I be tested for this virus as I have spoken to these patients very closely and taken their vitals before they admitted to traveler (one patient traveled from Seattle a few days prior to him being at the clinic) fever of 100.1, cough, flu-like symptoms and tested negative for the flu... my facility did NOT take the right precautions or care for us - as we did not even have the proper masks at the time and the manager, when informed about the patient from the nurses that we should send him out, did not care and said that Seattle wasn\u2019t an at risk place and that we could see him (and take his money) ... we\u2019ve had a lot of other cases of patients that made it back to triage that have traveled and have the symptoms. \n\nI have been coughing (moreso productive) and feeling fatigued. I know most patients can be asymptomatic not to mention I had a viral infection (common cold most likely my LY were high) last week so I\u2019m pretty worried now and that man I mentioned wasn\u2019t the only patient that\u2019s come in with a cough and fever and had traveled that i\u2019ve been face to face with in triaging. \n\nShould I get tested or wait for my symptoms to get worse and a rise in temp? (I also have been going to work bc i simply cannot take off). \n\nID REALLY APPRECIATE ANY COMMENTS AND ADVICE ANOUT THIS. As my coworkers and I are lost and our management is very nonchalant about this situation. Very disappointing.", "post_id": "fiuv6y", "comment_id": "fkjjlxr"}, {"question": "everyone has to decide for themselves what degree of external friendships is comfortable in their rel.. in this age of social media, people know a LOT of people and chat, text all the time.  but if that doesn't work for you, and you want a bf who chills with you and cuddles and watches movies and plays scrabble and turns off his phone, that's your prerogative.", "comment": "I am in a relationship with a guy for last one year. There have been many situations where I have realized that I have become a very weak person in love. My boyfriend talks to different women in different times and I got to know about them. There is no fixed woman but he involves in text conversation with them. The nature of conversation varies but mostly involves sharing personal details. I have not found any unpleasant content till now but I feel uncomfortable reading those because discussing such details with some random girl over text does not make any sense to me. Whenever I get to know about anyone he asks me to be in my own limit and not to interfere in his personal life. I wonder if I am not his personal life then are those random women his personal life? We had several arguments on this before and he blames this as my insecurity. I am becoming very weak in nature which I was not before. I am also not able to concentrate in my work. I do not want to be a weak person. Also, I am not able to decide whether I am being over critical and trying to invade his personal space. ", "post_id": "5taezq", "comment_id": "ddlf5vz"}, {"question": "I knew a guy who used to tell this story about being in the Navy and being part of a crew that ran a submarine. He would always say \"That damn metal tube was a power greater than myself. No matter how bad I wanted to use there was no way to get heroin in that metal tube.\"\n\nThat one always stuck with me. I come into contact with powers greater than myself on a daily basis, albeit they're probably slightly more subtle than a submarine.", "comment": "I was doing some reading for our Daily Reflections meeting tomorrow morning and came across this thought of the day:\n\n\"Some people find it hard to believe in a Power greater than themselves. But not to believe in such a Power forces us to atheism. It has been said that atheism is blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. That's practically impossible to believe. I think we all can agree that alcohol is a power greater than ourselves. It certainly was in my case. I was helpless before the power of alcohol. Do I remember the things that happened to me because of the power of alcohol?\"\n\nI'm a definite agnostic, in that I believe in some form of something larger than humankind but it's not a guy on a cloud deciding who of us gets to go above or below terra firma. But I thought this may be interesting for anyone going through the whole debate of God in AA or any programs that handle giving it all up to God/Higher Power. Anyways, enjoy! \n", "post_id": "5w2of6", "comment_id": "de6xjcx"}, {"question": "No coping sorry. But know I understand and am going through very similar. You are doing an amazing job, just as I am. This too, will pass. Just keep doing what you can and what brings meaning to your life.", "comment": "TW: death, self-harm and suicide. \n\nHey guys. So it is coming up to the two year anniversary of my mother\u2019s death which I witnessed in person and was very traumatic; about six months after it happened I was diagnosed with PTSD. I know this date is going to be a major trigger for me, last year around this time I was self-harming and dealt with a suicide attempt. Right now I\u2019m in a way better space than I was last year but I can feel my anxiety and grief getting worse each day. The shitty part is that I am in the middle of my final exams in my final year of university and I have a lot of pressure on me to do well. I am already aware that I\u2019m going to not do well in one subject. The anxiety and stress and PTSD flashbacks are all getting too much and on top of this my relationship is currently very rocky (although that\u2019s a whole other story). I\u2019m in therapy for all of this but I was wondering if anyone has any short term coping mechanisms just so I can get through these exams and pass! Thanks in advance :)", "post_id": "dmf18l", "comment_id": "f50dzga"}, {"question": "Dr. George Vaillant of Harvard University was a recognized expert on alcoholism was invited to join AA\u2019s board of trustees as a nonalcoholic member. He was interviewed in AA\u2019s Grapevine in the May 2000 issue. In in he said that most Alcoholics who recover from alcoholism do so without the help of AA or any other treatment. He said that they accomplish what AA\u2019s do by other means, he said they achieve a profound change in personality.  I\u2019m sober 41 years and I know people who stop drinking on their own and lead useful and happy lives. I couldn\u2019t do it on my own. I think that\u2019s the difference. If you want to join us, you\u2019re free to call yourself a member of AA when you say that you are one of us. Hope is one of our guiding principles. If you feel hopeless, we are offering you hope for a complete recovery and a wonderful way of life.", "comment": "Full-Blown Alcoholics\nIn the book \"Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book\" alcoholism is referred to several times as \"a hopeless condition of mind and body.\"\n\nThis is not referring to someone who simply has a drinking problem, or on occasion drinks too much, or someone who has developed a mild alcohol use disorder.\n\nIt refers to people who are full-blown alcoholics, described by Dr. William D. Silkworth in the Big Book:\n\n\"All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.\"\n\nI wish there was more distinction on how they are classified. Is a non hopeless alcoholic just a heavy drinker? Is it someone who will become a hopeless alcoholic? If the alcoholic quits drinking before they become hopeless do they \"need\" AA?\n\nSo many questions.", "post_id": "fxixyh", "comment_id": "fmvogl7"}, {"question": "You could try couple therapy as a last resort.", "comment": "We dated for about a year and a half before I decided to end it because our sex life was so boring. Other than being sexually incompatible he's the most amazing person I've ever been with. And before all the comments start with \"did you talk to him about what you like...\" yes I tried that and it still never made it past vanilla sex. Looking for advice on whether I should keep trying or if I should move on. ", "post_id": "6ne0k1", "comment_id": "dk8s1mg"}, {"question": "Ugh communication problems are the WORST. I get anxious waiting for callbacks too, mainly because there's only one thing I can do about it (leave a message or call again) and once I've done that all I can do is wait. It suuuuuucks.\n\nMy advice for the anxiety: Take some deep breaths. Do some breathing exercises for a few minutes until your heart rate goes down a bit. If you can take your phone with you, go for a walk - if not, set your phone down, juuuust far enough out of reach that you aren't checking it constantly. Just make sure the ring will be loud enough for you to hear. Then distract yourself with something to kill some time, play a game, read, do a puzzle, watch a show.\n\nWere you just asking for some basic/introductory info? I bet they delegate the basic stuff to the less-senior advisors who might have a lot of other calls to make, since they're essentially promoting the school and fielding questions from a lot of people.\n\nUltimately, you've done your job in asking the questions - they just need to do their job and answer, and it may just take some time. You don't need to leave another message, if you feel the need to do so, at least wait until tomorrow.", "comment": "Hey there. I am applying to a graduate program and asked for information. They sent me an email the other day saying they couldn\u2019t reach me and had kept trying. They were calling my cell even though I\u2019d also provided my home number. I talked to a lady who worked there yesterday and she said that someone would talk with me about their program, but then said everyone was busy. Then I told her 1 today works for me and someone called, but I was in the bathroom and called back 4 minutes later. There was no answer. I left a message. I called twice afterward. There was still no answer. I\u2019m worried that the problems with communication are making a bad impression on the school or maybe that this program isn\u2019t a good fit for me. I\u2019m extremely anxious. Any advice?", "post_id": "eaar6t", "comment_id": "fap0daf"}, {"question": "Part of what helped me was acceptance that I'm still gonna cycle no matter what and that it was okay. I wasn't falling apart, rather there was some sort of weird balance there that kept me afloat as long as I have enough self care on the hard days. ", "comment": "I'm currently on a journey to find my mental stability. But everyday, this journey seems to get more and more difficult. Today, for instance, I felt such intense emotions, I just went from upset crying, to panic, to full blown rage. Screaming fits, irrational thoughts, and all. Does anyone else feel this way? I can't stop the rage sometimes when it comes on and it can last for hours. I can rant and ruminate on a thought for hours, sometimes even days. I am on an antidepressant and anxiety medication but sometimes I feel like like it doesn't truly help me feel less anxious or depressed. Just wanting to hear if there are others out there feeling this way and if so what do you guys do to make yourselves feel better? ", "post_id": "3ftbcj", "comment_id": "ctrx1lk"}, {"question": "logical fallacies are cool I heard.", "comment": "So I was talking to a friend of mine who occasionally drinks heavily but has his shit together. When I we were talking about the concept of completely quitting alcohol forever due to alcoholism, he offered me an interesting perspective that I haven't really decided how I feel about. I just wanted to see what you all think about it. \n\nThe idea is that if you completely surrender yourself to the idea that you cannot drink alcohol ever, your life is still controlled by alcohol. Even more so than if you can conquer the addiction and learn to drink moderately. Never allowing yourself a drink and avoiding it all together for the rest of your life is like allowing the drink to control your life even more. I hadn't heard that before and don't really know what to make of it. I know that many of you will say that it's a disease and people who are truly alcoholics can never learn to drink moderately, but I was just throwing this out there to see what everyone thinks. ", "post_id": "1htzob", "comment_id": "cay0f2e"}, {"question": "This doesn't sound like any kind of legitimate practice to me. , certainly not one that would be approved by any professional medical or mental health association.  \n\nIt's basic operant conditioning that they're using, in the way that behavioral researchers have used on animals to test conditioning methods.  IMO it's inhumane for animals and absolutely shouldn't be used on anyone, especially humans.  ", "comment": "hello. i was wondering if anyone ever heard of this or if this is a thing only in my corner of the world (live in eastern europe). i'm not talking about electroshock therapy, but the kind where basically they sit you down, if you've got depression or some kind of other mental problem, and who i assume is a licensed professional comes in and basically tries to humiliate you and shock you into thinking your problems aren't real, that you should do whatever your family tells you, etc. \n\ni thought it was a joke at first, but i heard it from a therapist in a school i went to, she said she practiced this in finland. then years later i found out they do it in my country too, because a female friend of mine went through it. \n\nis this actually a legit form of therapy? it sounds like insanity and abuse to me. ", "post_id": "9y1rj0", "comment_id": "ea5x0uk"}, {"question": "There is a [paper from a decade](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19818485) ago that suggests it and a lot of hysterical press about that paper. It blocks synapse formation in response to a particular cellular signal. Any medication that has an effect on mental processes has to have an effect on the brain; it does not follow, and is not insinuated in the initial paper, that this prevention of synapse formation is a negative per se. The anecdotal but substantial evidence from widespread use of gabapentin is that it seems safe and doesn't prevent learning or cause other problems.\n\nOn the other hand, while benzos have definite short- and long-term risks, SSRIs are known to be safe and effective and have more evidence backing their use in anxiety disorder. Some of that is a discussion of risks, benefits, and side effects.", "comment": "23 years old \nMale\nWhite\nUnited States\nSocial and Generalized Anxiety Disorder\n2 years \nCurrent meds: Gabapentin \nIn my brain \n\nIs Gabapentin good for long term use? My psych said it\u2019s a safe alternative so benzos and SSRI\u2019s. I read that is prevents the formation of new brain synapses. Is this true?", "post_id": "at2qz7", "comment_id": "egyvzuq"}, {"question": "I did exactly this for the last two weeks. I texted my boss and told her I would not be coming in for another two weeks. I never gave her a reason but it was completely do to my mental health being in the trash. My first day back was this past Monday and i'm feeling so much better. I value my health over my work", "comment": "no matter what race you are, it\u2019s okay to sign off for a while and look after yourself. the world is stressful and the anxiety with it is uncontrollable, but your health is the most important in times like these. stay safe <3", "post_id": "gv9rta", "comment_id": "fsqbk57"}, {"question": "Looks ok to me, at least imminently. Wash with soap and water and keep it dry. Follow up with Obgyn when you can.", "comment": "http://imgur.com/a/exWCzZv\n\n28F, 5'6, 160lbs, white, three weeks post partum. \n\nThere is a red, squishy lump protruding from my incision. The steri-strips covering it fell of this morning and this is the first I'm noticing the lump. My incision area is still slightly tender\n\nMy OB office is closed today but wondering if this is an immediate concern as the steri-strips are no longer there as a barrier.", "post_id": "hd8vk8", "comment_id": "fvk69hx"}, {"question": "I'm going horrifically. I work still but even the weekends are too fucking much. I also have a two year old that goes INSANE inside and we both have to leave and do things. My husband doesn't understand though and he makes it super difficult for us to do anything because he says \"let's walk the dog\" and we are like fuck yeahhhhhhhhhhh quickgetallthethingstogethertowalkthedog and he goes to do a shit for 30 minutes as we are walking out the door. I want to punch him in the face sometimes. \n\nThen there is the fatigue I get when I'm bored. My body just shuts the fuck down. I think I need to up my meds but I'm not seeing my psychiatrist for six months.", "comment": "Does anybody else feel like they\u2019re slowly going crazy because of all of this?\n\nIt\u2019s so boring. There\u2019s literally nothing to do, no stimulation at all. it\u2019s like drowning but EXTREMELY slowly. Plus everybody in the world is sad. there\u2019s no music playing on busy streets, there\u2019s no people walking outside, nobody\u2019s talking to strangers at the store like that and everybody just looks so glum.\n\nthe face masks are what really make it all so real. it\u2019s so mind numbingly quiet EVERYWHERE. it\u2019s like a new world. \n\ncelebrities are useless to distract us, no concerts, no sports. all the things that made many people sane were gone in an instant. \n\nthe mental health toll this is going to take on the world will be..historic isn\u2019t even the word it\u2019s gonna be monumental.", "post_id": "fv9zcf", "comment_id": "fmhgxfp"}, {"question": "My main advice is to stop for a second and take a read on who's asking the question.\nQuestion number one - are they being respectful?\nIf they are being a jerk (asking you personal questions in public places, or they seem to be trying to make you feel uncomfortable, being judgemental etc) - don't try to be funny. Just shut them down. (ignore them or \"the cat\" will do)\nIf they are being nice - then being funny is cool.\n\nPlus you can always work the werewolf into a metaphor for your own dark side later... We all have a dark side.\n\nRemember - your personal life is noone else's business. Share your personal life only with people who have earned some of your trust. And be funny only with people who have earned your sense of humour.", "comment": "So, I've been off school for a few months due to social anxiety disorder, self harm and depression. When I go back, there are bound to be questions, but I don't want to tell people about my problems. What sort of excuses can I use? I'm looking for funny stuff that people won't know how to respond to. e.g. \"what are those scars from. Did you cut yourself or something?\" \"No, I wrestled a werewolf and he got me pretty bad, but I beat him, so it's all good\"", "post_id": "1fkukq", "comment_id": "cabglbf"}, {"question": "Awesome! Glad you shared your experience. I hope they got you set up with some follow up services so you can continue your work without the restrictions of an inpatient stay.", "comment": "I've posted on this subreddit for awhile about my deteriorating mental health, and I finally checked myself into a looney bin six days ago.  I thought I'd be there longer but it was almost a week so I guess that's long enough.  It wasn't the most fun experience but it wasn't terrible either.  I feel like I got a lot of help and I'm surprised that I feel better coming out of it than going in.\n\nThings I disliked:\n\nThe strip search.  I tried to get out of it but the doctor and orderly performing it told me to \"just get it over with\".  Had to get totally naked for a minute, thankfully there was no shit like cavity searches.  It was uncomfortable for everyone I can tell from their faces and thankfully was over with in no time.  \n\nThe closed and sterile setting creeped me out.  Everything was so clean and so safe, its not what Im used to.  I know it's a hospital but it's still weird.\n\nBed times, as an adult I actually had a bed time.  Most of the time I didn't sleep and I didn't sleep much at all during the six days I was there, and would fall asleep during group therapy and even individual therapy lol.  I tried to leave my room at night and just walk around but was (politely) told by orderly I cant do that and they gave me more magazines and books to read than Ive read in years.  When you dont have a phone, things get really boring fast.\n\nNo cursing.  I was told this in the common area that I curse too much and to not use f bombs and to stop cursing like a sailor.  When I first refused, they threatened to take me back to my room.  And we were all adults.\n\nThe showers were communal.  Had to shower with three other guys, blegh it was not fun.\n\nI had to make a pledge to not self harm and not attempt escape (I voluntarily went in but still needed a discharge to leave) and told me if I got violent and assaulted anyone, they would press charges.  I felt like I was in prison when they told me that.\n\nThey made me eat enough to stop losing weight, and the food was not very good.  They thought I might be developing an eating disorder.  Having to scarf down hospital food is not the most pleasant of experiences but at least they gave you a choice what to eat.  Ate a lot of seafood.\n\n\nThings I liked:\n\nI liked actually being able to talk to psychologists and psychiatrists all the time.  I thought they would be condescending and rude, but they were understanding and nice and they really wanted to help me.  I basically spilled my guts and told them everything, and they told me ways to deal with self-harm and tried meds on me that I'm now taking and are actually working, it frankly surprises me.\n\nThe orderly were actually very nice.  I asked the orderly who escorted me to my room what do I do to not be on their bad side, they said just don't get in trouble and we won't mess with you.  Surprisingly I had no bad experiences with them minus them telling me to stop cursing and one time disconnecting my phone because I wouldn't get off of it.  That was also an annoying aspect, I'd call my girlfriend or brother and they'd get mad if it was over 20 minutes.  Was very annoying not having my own phone.\n\nThe visiting hours were generous, my girlfriend visited me every day and it'd be for around an hour.  Helped me through the isolation.  I assumed it'd just be once a week and just be between glass like in a jail.  \n\nI drew a lot.  A lot of group therapy was fun and stimulating, I thought it'd just be fruity nonsense I wouldn't be able to use.  But I drew a lot to express myself.  I guess kind of childish but I liked doing it.\n\nThe patients were nice, I was in a part with suicidal and self harm patients and they weren't mean or violent and my roommate was pretty nice, he was just 19 and he was going through a lot of rough stuff, we would talk sometimes after bed time for a few hours and we became pretty friendly.\n\nI feel like the medication and the cognitive behavorial therapy has really helped me.  Only time will tell, but I think this was the right choice to make.\n\nThey told me not to hesitate calling back and checking myself in again if I need to, Im surprised they didn't want me out as soon as possible.\n\nOverall, I'm glad I did it, but it still felt like I was in a cushier jail.  But I think it saved my life, for now anyway.\n\nThey set me up with a new therapist and psychiatrist and hopefully things work well with them.  So hey, I'm not dead, not yet anyway!  All I could ask for.", "post_id": "ep90f2", "comment_id": "fehwcun"}, {"question": "Do these experiences come on suddenly? It's bordering on urgent assessment.", "comment": "I just got home from work tonight and my mom has been in a state of amnesia. When I asked, she said she didn't hit her head or take any medication. She mentioned a few times how she was confused because she was napping and she claims to have dreamt things she actually did in real life (e.g. buy kiwis and gum). She couldn't tell me what month it was. To say this is unsettling is truly an understatement. I've never seen any worrying signs of memory loss in her. She seemed completely fine when I left for work. I'm really worried. Obviously she will see a doctor ASAP. I pray to God she wakes up okay. This night has changed my life forever. Like most of you, I love my mom more than anything in the world and this is a deeply humbling experience. I urge you all to express your love to your fullest capabilities. Every day is truly a priceless gift we must stop taking for granted. Any prayers and/or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you. ", "post_id": "5foz41", "comment_id": "damhoyy"}, {"question": "If you aren't heavily exercising 4-5 times a week it's the #1 thing to decrease sleep problems like that. It needs to be serious exercise like a whole, regulation game of basketball or an hour of swimming or 25km on a bike. Going to the gym won't cut it if you don't really work yourself silly. \n\nAlso a worry journal, sleeping with someone and meditative practice can help", "comment": "Hello!  I was wondering if any fellow strugglers might have discovered good coping mechanisms they would be willing to share?  As soon as the sun sets, my anxiety increases.  Right before bed, I am very anxious and wake up multiple times throughout the night, sometimes with panic attacks.  Usually listening to music helps but it's been going on for several months now and I am so tired.  As soon as the sun rises, I sleep like crazy but then I sleep some of my day away.... Has anyone else struggled with this and found something that helps them get good, uninterrupted sleep???  Thank you so much :)", "post_id": "fdozli", "comment_id": "fjj2mu3"}, {"question": "he needs a therapist", "comment": "We have been together for nearly 2 years, living together for one. We moved in together to move from a small country town to the city so I could study at uni. Hes had axiety and depression prior to our relationship and ive tried to be as supportive and positive as possible. However finacial stress and arguements over chores, mess, etc have made it worse, and he's finally reached a breaking point and seeked medical help. But for the past few months I've been getting snappier and more stressed out, which isn't helping and is making me more and more unhappy. Im due to go back to uni in March, and my grades are already lower than id like due to the relationship and i can't afford for them to get worse. Should I leave him outright, ask for some space and move out or wait it out? Hes starting a new job in March, it just feels so cruel to leave in such turbulent times.", "post_id": "5rfyz9", "comment_id": "dd6zmbt"}, {"question": "Oh god, sleeping next to my SO is like sleeping in a canoe full of badgers. We're moving soon, so I did some research on this, under the idea that we might get a new bed, mattress, etc. when we move. That or I will start to drug him.\n\n- Apparently if the offending party takes melatonin, this helps some\n- An old spring mattress + boxspring + crappy frame is the worst combo for motion transfer, which is what we have, hooray. Apparently any improvement on any of these factors helps.\n- Memory foam mattresses, and slat-based frames are better. Twin mattresses side-by-side are supposedly the best.\n- Even a memory foam topper helps some -- you sink in so the crazy sleeper can't move as much.\n\nhttp://www.sleeplikethedead.com/mattress-isolation.html had some useful info too in terms of mattress types\n\nDisclaimer: we haven't actually tried any of these yet.", "comment": "I kick, toss, turn, and twitch so much in my sleep I often need to migrate to the couch or another bed in the middle of the night to allow my wife to rest properly. I disturb her sleep so much it alters her entire mood the next day. I feel terrible disturbing her so badly. It hasn't caused any marital problems or notable issues (aside from irritability) as of yet but I don't want it to lead to anything that could cause any sort of separation between us. \n\nAre there any solutions to sleeping more soundly or controlling my restlessness so we can continue sharing our bed together? Do any experts know what may be causing this to begin with? ", "post_id": "445pno", "comment_id": "cznn5e7"}, {"question": "Pregnancy test?\n\nDid you get sex ed at school? ", "comment": "I'm freshly 17 and I realized that I haven't had my period in  about 35 days (usually 25ish days inbetween periods). Last time I had sex with my boyfriend we didn't use a condom, but it didn't seem like an issue because he didn't cum, and I don't think he went all the way in either. In addition, I don't believe he jacked off the day before. There could've been some precum, but my boyfriend is really good about telling me about that stuff-but I've read that precum has very little sperm in it and that you can't really get pregnant from it (especially since he wasn't in all the way??) I feel like the odds of me being pregnant are really low, but it's definitely scary to think about. I think it's important to mention that my last period was about 6 days longer than expected with dark blood, and I also haven't been able to get completely wet like I used to (hormones, what are you doing!!!). I know that stress can delay your period, but I don't think I've been stressed at all lately. However, I've read that excessive exercise can delay your period, and I've started running recently for the first time in about 3 years. ", "post_id": "76hn62", "comment_id": "doe3yab"}, {"question": "Coffee is not that much of a diuretic. It\u2019s largely equivalent to drinking that volume of water. There\u2019s no need to offset.", "comment": "Age: 31\n\nSex: Male\n\nHeight: 5'11\n\nWeight: 165\n\nRace: caucasian\n\nDuration of complaint: 3 months\n\nLocation (Geographic and on body): back\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): right shoulder instability\n\nCurrent medications (if any): n/a\n\nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example)\n\n\nRecently I visited a chiropractor who advised me to increase my water intake to hydrate my muscles to reduce stiffness. I'm trying to hit 100oz a day.\n\n**My issue is that I drink lots of caffeine throughout the day, which acts as a diuretic. If I maintain my coffee (edit: not caffeine) intake (roughly 24-30oz a day), will the diuretic effect of the caffeine flush the water out of my body before I can absorb it?**\n\n**How do I need to alter my caffeine intake in order to actually hang onto the water?**", "post_id": "9plbo6", "comment_id": "e82ihgz"}, {"question": "Therapy is all about the relationship between therapist and client.  I happen to be one.  What matters is that you feel comfortable with them. ", "comment": "It took me a while to get to the point where I can ask for help, and I'm worried about going to therapy and all.\nI just want to know if anyone has advice about finding a therapist that you will know is good (right now I am doing searches online and such).\n\nI'm just a little worried because I heard about people going from therapist to therapist. Maybe if there is someone who can give me some headers about therapy?", "post_id": "931e3u", "comment_id": "e39yap9"}, {"question": "Say just that. Show the counselor this post if you\u2019re having trouble with words. Helping you to identify and verbalize emotions is part of what a counselor does! ", "comment": "I have never been to a counsellor before, although I have been struggling with mental health since I was 8.\n\nWhen I was 8 I developed many compulsive routines, tapping routines, turning light switches on and off a certain amount of times, not getting right arm wet in shower etc because I believed that my family would die if I did not do them. This went on for about a year until the routines became so long and obvious that I could no longer hide them. At the time I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I knew that what I was doing was very weird. It was a huge struggle but I basically managed to tell myself I was being irrational and go cold turkey on my main tapping routine that I did in public, and over the next few years I slowly got rid of other small routines and weird behaviors which had become so automatic I didn't realise I was doing them.\n\nWhen I was about 9 after I got rid of my main tapping routine, I decided I was fat, in about 6 months I lost 9 kilograms. People started noticing and commenting that I was skinny and so I decided I had to stop as I couldn't hide it any longer.\n\nI have been extremely shy as long as I can remember, I can't even begin to explain the endless social situations that make me feel anxious on a daily basis. I have always been known as the most quiet, awkward and shy person in any group, I completely freeze and withdraw from most conversations in groups, speaking to new people is nerve wracking, I feel uncomfortable in public like I am always being judged etc. \n\nBecause of this I had a very difficult time making friends, in particular during years 7 and 8 in school. Through year 7 I had 1 very close friend in my year level who I would feel terrified if I had to go to a class without her, or if she was absent for a few days. At the end of year 7 we had a falling out which left me with no one I felt comfortable around at school, as well as being bullied. This made me terrified of going to school to the point that I somehow found my way out of going 2-3 days per week for the entire year, I would also fake being sick for weeks at a time as well as actually getting sick way more often and for longer than I usually would. I felt extremely depressed, this was my first time ever experiencing such a strong negative emotion for such a long period of time (the whole year) and so I didn't realise that this feeling was not going to last forever, I thought that if this is how I am going to feel the rest of my life then what is the point in living, I wasn't going to kill myself in the near future, but I really wanted to be killed by something else.\n\nI moved schools in year 9, somehow made a solid friendship group and was never bullied once more. However ever since that time I have had unexplained periods of feeling that depressed feeling again, either for weeks or a couple of months. During these periods I lose motivation, lose my appetite, want to sleep all the time, although have a lot of trouble falling or staying asleep, cry at least once or sometimes all through the day if there is no one around, want to go out to distract myself, but can't stay out too long because I can't hold my emotions together long in public. It gets in the way of productivity, I take hours to get small tasks done because I can't stop crying. Luckily these periods only occur a few times a year, and a lot of the time I do not feel like this at all, although I dread the next time it will happen again.\n\nCurrently I am in a good mood, although it is getting concerning to me that it is time to get some help, mainly for my extreme shyness since my future career requires good communication skills which are currently impaired.\n\nI have not gotten help before because before I was about 12 I had no idea that what I was experiencing were potentially mental health issues, and by the time I learned about mental health I thought I had mainly fixed myself (stopping compulsions and losing weight). My anxiety in social situations has been a part of my personality my whole life and so I think it has just become normal to me, although I doubt it should be, I improve very slowly every year and so have not gotten help hoping that it will disappear over the years, but I am sick of being embarrassed by it being so obvious to everyone around me, and to it impairing my function in everyday social situations. I have never gotten help other than talking to a school counsellor about irrelevant issues hoping he would magically guess and help because I hate the idea of anyone being worried about me, I feel guilty about having such bad feelings, as well making drama.\n\nI sound like a complete emotional disaster after saying all of this haha, and I have never told anyone any of this. I am physically able to function most of the time, it is just not always easy and people probably think I am a bit weird.\n\nI have no idea how to explain all of this to the counsellor, I think that it is important that I do though, I am feeling worried about my first appointment.\n\nTips, advice and reassurance would be very appreciated .", "post_id": "7zwmok", "comment_id": "durano4"}, {"question": "\"Concerning for X\" means that the imaging shows a result likely to be X, not that X is necessarily cause for a high level of concern. The joke in medicine is that radiologists never outright state anything. What they see is   \n\"consistent with X,\" \"concerning for Y\" and \"possible Z,\" and they recommend \"clinical correlation\" by the initial doctor.\n\nIt sounds like there are still results pending, and after that you should have a follow-up with the endocrinologist to discuss best next steps. The management might be surgical and might not be, but it doesn't sound as though it's something highly urgent.", "comment": "Good Morning all! I will try to make this as concise as possible. \n\nI was diagnosed it a 3mm pituitary microadenoma almost exactly one year ago. It was found after I went to an OBGYN for some issues I was having with sudden weight gain, cystic acne, and irregular and painful periods. They diagnosed me with PCOS and sent me to the lab for some blood work. I had 3 blood tests in a row come back with high prolactin levels. They send me to an endocrinologist who ran some additional tests and sent me to get an MRI where they found the tumor initially. \n\nI changed birth controls at my OBGYN's guidance right around this time to help better manage my PCOS symptoms. As soon as I changed birth controls my monthly Prolactin levels were back to low-normal levels. \n\nFast forward to a few weeks ago, I went for my follow up yearly MRI and they sent me the following notes from my MRI:\n\nINDICATION: Follow-up pituitary adenoma\n\nCOMPARISON: 7/24/2017\n\nTECHNIQUE: Multiplanar, multisequence MRI of the brain and pituitary\n\nwere performed before and after the intravenous administration of 7.5\n\nMILLILITER GADAVISTV1. \n\nFindings:\n\nOn today's exam, there is an area of hypoenhancement in the right\n\naspect of the pituitary measuring 5 mm concerning for a microadenoma.\n\nThe area of hypoenhancement in the left aspect of the pituitary is not\n\nseen. Infundibulum is midline. No mass effect on the optic nerves or\n\noptic chiasm. Cavernous sinuses are normal.\n\nThe brain is normal in signal intensity and morphology. No mass lesion\n\nor abnormal enhancement is identified. The ventricles, sulci, and\n\ncisterns are age-appropriate in size and configuration. The major\n\nintracranial flow voids appear intact.\n\nIMPRESSION: \n\nArea of hypoenhancement measuring 5 mm in the right aspect of the\n\npituitary concerning for microadenoma\n\nAfter this my Endocrinologist had me do a blood cortisol test which came back high. They also ordered an ACTH test, another blood cortisol test, and I did a 24 hour urine test for cortisol. I am still waiting on the results for these.\n\nI have Kaiser, so it has been incredibly difficult to get quality time to talk this over with my endocrinologist and I feel like I just want a second opinion but Kaiser makes it incredibly difficult to do this. Even getting my medical records has been a struggle that I am still working through. \n\nMy main concern is in the findings from the MRI they say it is \"concerning for a microadenoma\" but my doctor doesn't really seem that concerned.  Is this wording common for MRI findings--what does \"concerning\" mean in this context?\n\nIf it helps I am 27 years old. I do have some symptoms that have started in the past two months that are strange such as frequent headaches and has become really incredibly difficult to lose weight even while eating relatively healthy and tracking my nutrition. I am slightly overweight at 169 and 5 ft 7. I have also been having some issues with my blood sugar levels, even though I eat a lower carb diet (try to stick under 70-80g/ day).\n\nSorry--I know this is a lot to read! I am really just looking for any advice or words of wisdom with dealing with issues with the pituitary.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated I have been quite worried about all of these tests and just want to make sure that I make the best decision for my health. \n\nThanks for taking the time to read this!\n\nTLDR; Growing pituitary microadenoma; Doctor seems unconcerned. Kaiser makes it difficult to feel taken care of. Advice wanted.", "post_id": "97ssi4", "comment_id": "e4aq1oj"}, {"question": "talk about your respective feelings. be direct. guessing and assuming wastes precious time!", "comment": "Ive liked this one guy for a whole semester but we have never been anything more than friends. Then next week he started flirting with me and it was so different then it was before. Then Friday everything felt like we went back to just friends. So it was all okay. But just when i thought we were friends he picked back up with the flirting! What should i do? ", "post_id": "5lj8o9", "comment_id": "dbw4iwp"}, {"question": "I once had a coworker who would bring a whole bag of baby carrots to meetings and eat them ALL- crunching and munching for at least an hour straight. This happened many times. I've never met anyone with less self-awareness. ", "comment": "Every. Single. Day. \n\nCrunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch \n\nFinish one bag of chips, open another. Crunch crunch crunch crunch \n\nSmack smack smack slurp smack smack\n\nI\u2019m about to fucking lose it", "post_id": "ao9k83", "comment_id": "efzegur"}, {"question": "asshole", "comment": "It seems clear to me that hes an asshole but all my life people tell me I'm overly dramatic so for several years I've just avoided confronting people with problems even when it seems clear to me that there is some kind of problem. I try to state things clearly and be reasonable but it almost always ends up worse so I've sort of learned to just keep my head down and my mouth shut.\n\n\nI'm having a hard time in a class I'm taking and most everyone seems to have picked up the material by now. A few people are still struggling besides me but most everyone has it down and is ready for the upcoming test we have.\n\nToday we ended class early because the other people struggling didnt show up and everyone else was good to go. The teacher said \"Anyone who still needs to practice, youre welcome to stay... [my name]\".\n\nSo then he decided we would go to his office and these other 2 girls who needed help with another class hes familiar with came for help in that class. The whole time I just silently did my work while girl1 did hers for the other class and girl2 just bullshitted with him. Thing is, girl2 is pretty damn hot and he was more interested in making veiled sexual innuendos with her than helping me. Like jokingly telling her how he can set her up with an internship at his house. I dont care if he wants her or what they do or dont do, thats none of my business. I just want help because this material is hard for me.\n\nI did a few problems after the one he told me to do because once I finished the first one and went to ask him to give me another one, he was too busy talking with girl2 and I couldnt get a word in so I continued and did 2 more. When I went to show him once I had 3 done, he told me I went too far ahead and wouldnt get the right answer because the 3rd problem requires a different method. He then told me \"You just arent good with numbers, bless you\". After this I just wanted to leave so I said well I have to go meet a friend for lunch. He asked me if it was a girl and I said yes, so he told me to put a belt on (Im no gangster. I always wear a belt and wear clothes correctly but I was in a rush this morning. My pants werent sagging or anything, and its not like my underwear was showing, plus I was wearing a sweatshirt). Thanks for the advice.\n\nHe just always seems to have these remarks toward me where Im the butt of a joke. What really set me off was telling me Im just not good with numbers. Im trying not to let that take my motivation but its hard. I would like to say something like, \"Look I just dont like that so please Id like you to tone it down\" but every time Im in a situation like this it just makes the problem worse. Im either told to stop being a bitch and nothing changes or things become weird and the person makes a big deal of things almost sarcastically like \"Oh Im sorry did I hurt your feelings?\".\n\nThis is why I just keep this shit to myself. I realize I must be wrong because this doesnt seem to be an issue for other people, only me. I just wish I could change and be different but I really dont know how. I suppose I can pretend by not saying anything and continue to just laugh because its what people expect but the truth is that it's a fake laugh and I really havent changed at all. I really hate when this happens and I feel helpless to do anything but just accept it.\n\nIs there anyone here who is like this and if so how do you manage?", "post_id": "5u2hjw", "comment_id": "ddqw1uv"}, {"question": "Seizures are quite different - thankfully it doesn't seem like you had one (phew!)\n\nAlso whilst theres potential interactions with every medication, your combination of drugs isn't out of the ordinary, and many take this without significant problems.", "comment": "I kept waking up last night to a pain and pressure in my head, along with some really strange sensations. It felt so scary that I even screamed a few times. \nIs that what a seizure feels like? \nI recently got on a new medication and I'm worried they might be interacting. \nFor 3 years, I was taking Effexor 37mg and I wasn't being monitored by a physician. \nA month ago my therapist recommended I get on something different because she didn't think my meds were helping me. (Depression, anxiety)\nThe Dr I went to put me on Cymbalta 30mg for 2 weeks then 60 mg. He kept me on the Effexor XR 37mg and said that when I go back after a month, he will start weaning me off. He also gave me Flexeril for back and neck pain that sometimes keeps me up at night. \nI'm also taking Aldactone for PCOS symptoms and Allegra, Benadryl for allergies. \n\nI read on drugs.com that there might be interactions between the drugs. Should i be worried or does it sound like nothing? ", "post_id": "6jttyi", "comment_id": "djhd5uj"}, {"question": "Hi. You might have a look at Dialectical Behaviour therapy, DBT. While it was originally designed for people who have Borderline Personality and/or self harm it can be useful for a range of difficulties. There is a large emphasis on emotional regulation in this therapy and thats why i mention it here. There are some v good websites and books on this, as well as the option of finding a Dbt therapist. Best wishes. ", "comment": "I drink because I don\u2019t know how to regulate myself emotionally. I used to tell myself that I drink because it\u2019s fun and I like to have a few to relax. True alcoholics drink to numb themselves, but that\u2019s not me. It can\u2019t be me. \n\nTruth is, these last couple years have been very hard. A death in the family, family drama, souring relationship with my parents. Everybody has shit, right? I barely even remember last year because of how much I was drinking on a regular basis. I got things somewhat under control this year, in the sense that I\u2019m not drinking daily like I was. Only on weekends now. I know that won\u2019t last. It\u2019s already getting worse again.\n\nWhat kind of life is that? Most aspects of my life are actually great.. I have an awesome job. My career is advancing quickly. I\u2019m going to school for a masters. I just bought a house with my adoring fianc\u00e9. I\u2019m getting married in 6 months to my best friend. So, why do I drink? If I keep numbing myself, I can\u2019t even enjoy the good things in my life. I\u2019m just existing. And I\u2019m tired of it. I want to enjoy life, and learn how to roll with the punches. Life is too short to live in a numbed state.\n\nToday is day one, again. I need support. No one outside of my fianc\u00e9 knows I drink. Thanks for reading this. IWNDWYT.", "post_id": "8x2hyc", "comment_id": "e210nhe"}, {"question": "You'll survive.", "comment": "I had a burger like 30 minutes after my Cipro antibiotic... is that bad? It says to avoid dairy, but my pharmacist just told me not to have straight up milk and yogurt.", "post_id": "4xt5cg", "comment_id": "d6i7lza"}, {"question": "Yes. If something is problematic for you, it is definitely something to bring up", "comment": "I really don't know how to start these posts...\n\nAnyway, I have depression, anxiety and perfectionism, that I already know. But that's not why I'm here, but I guess I've noticed that I've always had these irrational fears of being murdered. \n\nI'll elaborate: it happens more when I'm home alone, though it does happen at night even if I'm not home alone. When I'm alone it can happen in the day time, and it really sets me on edge. I've cried at times, and i cant remember how many times ive had to hold a heavy object to walk through a door. Every noise I here is someone walking about in my house, or such and such. I close every door behind me, because if there was someone in my house then I'd hear them if they had to open doors. But then when I have to open them again to go out, god I get so scared, what if someone's behind it waiting? So it takes me a while to build courage to go. \n\nAnd I've always hated it when people purposefully make me jump, I'd usually end up crying, heavy breathing and my heart would be so fast. But I guess that's an average reaction if you don't like scares.\n\nThere's a lot of other stuff too, like when the phone rings and such, I've written enough\n\nI was just wondering if it was something I should mention to my psychiatrist tomorrow even though i go there for my depression? ", "post_id": "18tm5a", "comment_id": "c8if1aw"}, {"question": "I think if you really want to do something for your birthday, it's very important to make that known.  While it's incredibly nice to have people throw you a party and organize it and and all that, unless you have a significant other doing it, it's fairly rare in adulthood.\n\nI wouldn't be narcissistic at all to make an event.  It might be if you expected everyone to bring you gifts, cake, and make it all about you.  That's pretty rare for most adults.  If your friends are decent, you should at the very least have a good group of people to keep you company have fun with and hopefully have a couple rounds bought for you.  ", "comment": "I'm in grad school and my birthday is coming up in a week. Would it be narcissistic to to create an event on Facebook so I can invite all my friends out one night for a celebration somewhere?", "post_id": "8cmmq8", "comment_id": "dxgy9f6"}, {"question": "Difficult. An excellent radiologist might pick up findings and suspect it, but a plain radiograph isn't going to give a definite diagnosis and I think most people would likely miss it entirely.\n\nNot a radiologist myself, though. Maybe the subtle findings are clear as day to the experts.", "comment": "Hi, I was diagnosed with tricuspid valve stenosis  when i was around 17 and the Doctor said it was very minor and will only need treatment/operation 20,30 years down the line, he used Electrocardiograph to determine this and I recall him saying it was difficult to pick up. \n\nRecently I had to get a chest x-ray as part of a medical for a job and im wondering how likely is it for them to pick it up? Would it be plain as day or quite difficult to tell if they didnt know I already had it. ", "post_id": "918tnz", "comment_id": "e2w7aai"}, {"question": "i would try to examine your bf relationship. 'new' is always more exciting and alluring than familiar.  people change a lot in their twenties. it is possible that what you need now is diff. than what you needed 6 yrs ago. it's complex. maybe find a good therapist to talk it all out with.", "comment": "I've been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years and we've been fairly happy, besides a few times when he gives me the silent treatment for wearing an outfit he doesn't like or refuses to sleep with me if I get a tattoo (aside from those weird child tantrums he's mature and we get along well). My problem is that over the last 1.5 years I've developed romantic feelings for a former coworker who seems to be a bit more compatible with me. I'm having a tough time getting over it and I'm not even sure I want to. \n\nHe's smart and interesting, I feel like we both always learn new things when we talk to each other, and I really enjoy our friendship. I'm pretty sure he was interested in me in the past, I'm not sure if he does anymore. We interact fairly regularly and we're good at just being friends, but I just can't stop thinking about him and how much I like talking to him and hearing what he has to say. Everything reminds me of him and I always want to talk to him when something new and exciting happens in my life (but I restrain myself). I don't know many people that I can relate to on a certain level so when I do, I get pretty attached. \n\nI always get fleeting crushes and I'll usually just let myself enjoy them until they pass, and direct the extra sexual energy into my relationship with my boyfriend. It's always worked in the past but I just can't get over this guy, probably because it's more emotional than physical. \n\nWhat should I do? Keep being polite and friendly and hope that my crush will eventually disappear? Avoid him until I forget about him (ending our friendship but eliminating the threat to my relationship)? Reevaluate my relationship? I feel so guilty for having these feelings when I'm in a relationship and I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but I don't really know what to do. \n\n", "post_id": "5m4q3q", "comment_id": "dc0tay5"}, {"question": "I have actually read good things (in peer reviewed scientific journals) about SSRI's in people with autism and depression/anxiety.  I don't know about Benzos.  CBT can also be good for people with autism, but it is really best if your therapist is quite knowledgeable about what autism/asperger's is.  Tony Attwood, one of the world's foremost Asperer's experts, stresses how important it is that your therapist have this knowledge.  Without it, talk therapy can end up being entirely ineffective.  Your therapist may not understand your goals or the best way for you to achieve them (compared to neurotypical clients).\n\nThis is what I have read, but my own personal experience does not match up.  I have had great results doing talk therapy with people not necessarily trained to work with people with autism.  I have also taken SSRI's and other depression and anxiety meds with ZERO benefits and LOTS of side effects.  Reactions to medications are a highly individualized thing.  It is easy to say that this is especially true for people with Asperger's, but I would say it is true for everyone.\n\nAbove all, it is important to express your apprehensions to your psychiatrist/doctor.  If you don't feel fully heard, get a new doctor.", "comment": "(29/Male/USA/United Healthcare/No meds currently)\n\nI'm doing some research on therapists in my area (NW Chicago 'burbs) as I've finally reached the point at which I feel it is necessary to address some matters causing me extreme amounts of distress.\n\nThere are two situations that I've found induce near-crippling amounts of anxiety: Doctor visits and airport \"security\" (theater).\n\nThe former stems from frightening and painful allergy testing I was subjected to against my will as a child - I went last Thursday for the first basic checkup of my life since my high-school physical (that's 16 years by my math - I'm 29) and my heart was pounding the entire time. I refused to give consent for a tetanus booster even though I was long overdue for one because I didn't feel like becoming any more of a panicky mess than I already was. Fortunately the doctor was very understanding when I explained A. the reason and B. that I was there for both the checkup as well as a psych referral to get past the anxiety.\n\nThe latter is, I believe, largely related to another overall contributing factor, which is the (strong, in my mind) possibility that I have an autism-spectrum disorder. I have not traveled by air since July of 2010, which was a few months before the Terrorists Searching Americans instituted their Morton's Fork policy of virtual strip-search or coerced invasive physical contact by a stranger. People talk about flashbacks and nightmares as a result of TSA interaction. I have nightmares about airports (Not planes, mind you. Not flying. AirPORTs.) just from hearing that I may have to fly. I could barely keep calm before scope-n-grope but given that body scanners have a 54% false-positive rate, and that being scanned does not guarantee one will not be touched, and given the way Team Sexual Assault wears \"ZOMG Unpredictable!\" like a badge of honor...something has to give if I'm going to be able to fly. Also, getting married next spring and will be taking my honeymoon the following fall (after fiancee's 2-year hire date passes and she gets more vacation per year), which will most likely involve air travel. How fucked-up is it to dread your own goddamn honeymoon? Because as bad as I was at the dr.'s office, I know I'll be 100x worse than that at the airport.\n\nSo, my question is a multifaceted one. Bearing in mind that I do plan to see a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist about this and I'm just trying to gather any input I can:\n\n-I've heard SSRIs are prescribed for GAD. I don't think I have it - my day-to-day anxiety ebbs and flows like most people's and even if it's a little more severe, I've learned to deal with it on my own through \"mundane\" means. Glass of water, quiet room, deep breathing, etc. Also heard bad things about SSRI side effects.\n\n-I've heard benzodiazepines can be addictive. I have no history of drug or alcohol abuse and I don't think I have an addictive personality (granted, that's difficult to see from the inside looking out). There's no family history of drug abuse that I know of and I'm otherwise healthy.\n\n-I've heard that SSRIs must be taken daily whereas benzos are a case-by-case-basis \"panic button/call in the cavalry\" drug. I find this preferable as I don't want to have to take something every day when I may, by all rights, have had a perfectly fine day anyway.\n\n-I've also heard that benzos are better for acute, gut-punching anxiety whereas SSRIs are better for pervasive, lingering but not as severe anxiety. As I said, my overall day-to-day anxiety is, largely, manageable.\n\n-Whatever meds I may or may not end up on, I would use as a backup plan while focusing on CBT to try to overcome it as best I can.\n\n-Assuming I do get a positive diagnosis of ASD (autism spectrum disorder, for anyone who's getting lost in the alphabet soup - sorry for the topic shift), can anyone say how well SSRIs, benzos, and/or CBT worked for them? My concern is that because ASDs can mean a more \"rigid\" mind and atypical cognitive paradigm, CBT will be harder to make work. Not in any way preemptively throwing in the towel, but I would like to be prepared for the possibility that I'll have to put a lot more effort into it to get comparable benefit out of it.\n\n-What about SSRIs/benzos for adult-autism/ASD/Aspergers people?\n\n-My doctor did say he doesn't like to prescribe benzos due to the addiction potential. If a psychologist recommends it (assuming I don't go to a psychiatrist who can write the prescription themselves), what're the odds he'll acquiesce? I realize that it's partly a matter of his personality, but are specialist recommendations commonly subject to physician veto or are they Serious Business(TM) not to be flouted lightly?\n\n-Can we abolish the goddamn TSA already and throw its employees into the salt mines?\n\nI should state again that I fully intend to seek the services of a psychological professional in addition to whatever I can learn here. I will not mistake anything said here for medical advice nor will I hold anyone responsible/liable for what's written. Just hoping to get some feedback from people who may have been in a similar spot.\n\ntl;dr I may be autistic to some degree; doctor visits and TSA terrify the everloving shit out of me; can anyone say what to expect from CBT and anxiolytics for these situations? Am I up a creek here or is there hope?\n\nThank you all so, so much.\n", "post_id": "1dkjcg", "comment_id": "c9rb0s2"}, {"question": "What prompted you to begin taking Abilify in September 2019 if you had already completely recovered in August 2019?  To go for three years without medication, successfully recover, then start a psychotropic med after your recovery is throwing me off a bit.  Did something happen in August 2019 that made precipitated another episode?\n\nAs you are probably aware, with a dx of depersonalization/derealization disorder, you can experience symptoms of depersonalization, derealization, or both.  The manifestation of symptoms need not be the same across all episodes, they may present in different forms/ways.  Do you think the sx you're currently experiencing more closely resemble depression than depersonalization/derealization disorder?\n\nWhen first taking a psychotropic medication, negative and/or unpleasant side effects aren't uncommon.  I imagine your doc wanted you to increase your dosage to something higher than 10 mg.  He/she probably had a dosage in mind he/she wanted you to get to, but if you can't tolerate the side effects, titrating down or discontinuing the med(s) all together makes sense to me.  For a lot of meds, getting to a therapeutic level can be really difficult.  If you can't titrate up to a therapeutic level, you won't be able to get the full therapeutic benefit.  Sometimes you feel a bit worse before you start feeling better, but if/when the side effects are intolerable, that is your decision (and your doctor's) to make re discontinuation and/or trying a new medication.", "comment": "No prior history of psychiatric/recreational drug use. I developed depersonalization/derealization disorder in December 2016, and recovered completely in August 2019. What I'm experiencing currently is very, very different to anything I experienced then. \n\n- September 1st to 5th (2019) : Took 5 mg of Abilify (Noticed my confidence levels beginning to decline, slight depression/dread/panic beginning to creep in, creativity/cognitive abilities seemed slightly diminished)\n\n- September 6th to 15th (2019) : Increased dose to 10 mg (Symptoms listed above became worse, and developed severe restlessness)\n\n- September 15th to 23rd (2019) : Tapered over a period of 1 week. Restlessness improved but other symptoms became slightly worse\n\n- September 23rd to 30th (2019) : Depression continued to increase. On the 30th I started experiencing the worst case of depersonalization I've ever experienced. Severe depression, thoughts and emotions gone, could barely function cognitively. I'm a bit calmer now and the depression has subsided, but the main symptoms haven't improved still. During my previous episode of depersonalization/derealization I could read, think and function more or less normally. I'm profoundly gifted and could make it through a 300 page novel in about an hour. Loved reading, writing, puzzle solving, had very strong opinions, etc. Now my mind is completely blank. I struggle to have conversations (have started stammering a lot because I words don't come to my mind), read and generally do anything I was easily able to do before", "post_id": "el8vj2", "comment_id": "fdgby4u"}, {"question": "the key is to define VERY carefully what your friendship is and isn't; and then be consistent", "comment": "Hello. I know this may sound strange. I was renting from an older gay man for 2 months in October 2015. We had hooked up a few times and I had not really enjoyed it even though it was not bad. Well eventually I got to know who he was and started to develop a serious attachment to him. I was working all over the country and made trips back frequently and stayed with him for stints of around a month or so. There were times when I felt like it was not going anywhere, or that he was not into me, and also that I should just stop wasting my time either way because it would not be sustainable in the long run due to age differences. Back in August I had just assumed that it had run it's course and I was ready to move an and think \"hey that was fun, but it's time to move on\". After I left he told me how hard it was for me to leave and how his house felt empty without me. He was posting on FB referring to me as a \"special person\". He continually texted and called every day and I really liked him but was trying to move on. Well a job came up in his neighborhood and I ended up staying with him for another month. I then started getting real attached to him. He was buying me winter clothes, making me meals etc. I eventually asked if I could move in (to the seperate studio he rents out) and he said \"we need to have a talk about this\" (we never did). Eventually I asked again and he said yes. He is a doctor and is well connected and I figured it could benefit even if we just remain friends. Well now I have been living here for a month and he has taken me on two ski trips. We both kind of established that we still hook up with other people. Anyways we had a talk recently and we both stated our concern because we both like each other but we don't know if we can make it last in the long run. We are still cuddling and holding hands and all that. But we never really came to a resolution about where we go from here. I am just afraid of becoming incredibly lonely and depressed without him and I do not know what the correct resolve is. We have talked about having a three person relationship with someone in the middle of our ages. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel this is a catastrophe waiting to happen. He has mentioned how he wants someone he can retire with and grow old with. I do not know if he wants this forever or if I do either but we both really care about each other alot. So what do we do? Advice? It is a very inconvenient situation.", "post_id": "5steq8", "comment_id": "ddhurd6"}, {"question": "Hello! Therapist here,\n\nI can't speak on your specific therapist, but it sounds like you found yourself at a point where you were scared what you might do so you took steps to keep yourself safe. That to me shows awareness of risk level and a desire to stay alive and not hurt yourself. And having that support system of friends is awesome.\n\nYou've been in therapy for 6 months, so I presume you've built up enough trust with your therapist. I would let them know what you've been struggling with. If you haven't done a safety plan yet, maybe now's a good time to do that so you can refer to that when you need to. This is important to be on your treating therapist's radar so they can check in with you and help keep you safe. \n\nIf you are worried at all, I would advise asking a friend to come to session with you as a support. When I assess risk, having good social support is a great protective factor, and I feel safer having a client leave me office when I know they will be taken care of by loved ones in case they get to a point where it's difficult for them to care for themselves. Plus the friend can also give the therapist their own insight and observations, which may be different than your own, and can give the therapist more info. to work with.", "comment": "I have a loyal group of friends that rally around me. Recently I gave one of my friends my prescription sleeping pills to hold for me. I could sense I was starting to feel edgy and didn\u2019t trust having them in the house. My friend gives me one or two at a time and monitors what I have in my possession. I\u2019m honest with my friend, I\u2019m only working against myself otherwise. \n\nAm I safe telling my therapist this or will s/he consider me suicidal and want to hospitalize me? I voluntarily admitted myself last year and my stay was just 72 hrs. I fear after being in therapy six months (biweekly sessions) my overall mental health is an open book and if admitted a second time my stay may not be as short.", "post_id": "ep9t9y", "comment_id": "fei1y87"}, {"question": "The woman who accepts this role is doing it because she is fine with what's going on- you are paying her to date you.  You are wasting women's time and shutting them out of the working world unless they sleep with you.  So the female equivalent will be the woman who is sexing you in order to get as much money as she can.  I know you haven't considered this, but your plan is extremely transparent and something every woman has at least heard of, if not experienced directly.   So the only reason she WOULDNT get angry and walk away is if she is smarter than you and plans to take you for everything.", "comment": "Is this a stupid idea, I have had no GF and have had an idea.  \n\n\nI create a job post, it is a real job, working with me at my small business (I do it for fun and extra money, only one day every weekend). I put in an optional section asking about interests/personal (e.g. favorite movie, best ice cream flavor, relationship status). I only interview single girls 20 to 25, and ask them out at the end of the interview, if they say no they don't get the job (don't tell them this), if they say yes then see how the date goes, the one who the dates go best with get the job.  \n\n\nAm I being a horrible person here? It sounds stupid but it might work. ", "post_id": "ba2rny", "comment_id": "ek9q8n4"}, {"question": "You are right. The realities of being in your 20s can be difficult. The more you love someone the more you are willing to make compromises and sacrifices.", "comment": "So. Has anyone ever tried any sort of relationship where ... Some life event has come up and you guys cant be together for most months of the year. But your not prepared to have a traditional long distance relationship where energy and time is poured into sustaining what you've got. Where you somehow visit and simply enjoy the precious time you have together, and then don't feel awful apart but somehow embrace the nature of being 20 and travelling and having different goals and trying to do your youth justice by experiencing new things without always having someone in the back of your mind? \n\nI need some help.\n\nFor context, since i was 15 I've never really been out of a relationship for too long.  Additionally, between a boyfriend that toured with music regularly, to someone i met while travelling and we had to go back to our respective countries, to a guy i've currently fallen for who's now currently travelling for 4 months - It feels like I'm only in the same state/country half the time I'm 'with' my partners. And pining away, always having a piece of my heart away with someone else is slowly killing me.\n\nMy current boyfriend will be home in a month, and then we will have 3 months together in my home town before i leave to study in England for 10 months. \n\nHe wants to come with me, but I'm not sure its a good idea (for all the obvious reasons one is afraid of moving to another country with someone). But I'm not sure I'm prepared to put myself through more long distance relationships. Is there an alternative option other than just saying goodbye to the only person I have in my life that i intellectually and sexually connect with? \n\nHas anyone had any experience in saying simply 'Ill be sad if give up with opportunity and stay at home with you, and I'll be sad if I go overseas in a long distance relationship and always pine for you, but ill also be sad saying goodbye to you completely, because I've never loved anyone so much. What are our options?'\n\nHelp lol. \n", "post_id": "72jecr", "comment_id": "dnj2kx1"}, {"question": "If you're ok with porn, than it shouldn't matter if he wants to keep it private.", "comment": "Ok, let me get this straight, I do no have a problem with the fact that my husband watches porn. In fact, I do so myself when he is not around and I need to get off. \n\nWhat really bugs me is that I recently have found out that he is now hiding his porn habit by using google chrome incognito mode, thus making it untraceable. He also watches porn with me in close proximity or next to me in bed after I go to sleep. What really upsets me here is the hiding and lying part. This is not the first time that this has happened. I love my husband dearly, but I am losing trust. \n\nAm I wrong for being upset and losing trust in my husband? I am so exhausted of not trusting and assuming there is more that he just won't admit to. I would very much appreciate sincere advice and helpful tips how to navigate myself through this difficult situation. \n\nSincerely, \n\nEmily\n\n", "post_id": "6eaod7", "comment_id": "di8wx3p"}, {"question": "you did nothing wrong. she's probably inexperienced herself. give it a few days, text again, and if you don't hear back, consider it a 'no thankyou'", "comment": "Okay so last Saturday my friends sisters comes over for a party and brings her roommate who I seemed to hit it off with and talked to for several hours of the night and got her phone number. The next day (I have heard you're not supposed to do this but I did) I texted her saying I had a nice time talking to her and asked if she might want to hang out sometime and never received a response. I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to things like this but I just don't know what all I did wrong since she seemed to enjoy our conversation and was willing to give me her phone number. Any advice would be appreciated.", "post_id": "5wsaop", "comment_id": "decl6zu"}, {"question": "Kills neurons. Cumulative. Damage persists.", "comment": "So I drink a lot. Been drinking nearly every day since I was 17. I\u2019m 25 now. The thing is, I\u2019m motivated by such a strong fear of failure that I\u2019ll probably never reach a bottom point where I\u2019m forced to confront my drinking. I\u2019m fairly successful for someone my age and have healthy habits apart from my drinking.\n\nThe only thing that concerns me is a fear that it\u2019ll result in some psychological damage over time. I wonder if anyone could inform on this. Is it gonna make me some sorta buffoon down the road? Any answers would be appreciated. Thanks\n\nFor context, I probably drink the equivalent of four bottles of beer a day. Usually I get started after I get off work.", "post_id": "bknet4", "comment_id": "emjfxaf"}, {"question": "You said 'OUR friends'; how did the one spot land in his lap not yours?", "comment": "I am consulting reddit because I really just want some good, wholesome advice on how to respond to the situation in the most mature way possible, because I want the best for my relationship. \n\nIt's a pretty short story, but anyways, my boyfriend told me that he is going to a music festival in a month with our friends and that there is only one spot (implying I can't go). \n\nI want him to go & have fun, but I think I am just feeling some natural feelings of jealousy. Also, I know for a fact, that if the situation was flipped, he would be very very very upset & feel super left out... so I kind of feel like I just would never do that to him in the first place. Also... we have never had any true \"fights\", we are best friends and music is our thing & we have always done it together and had a blast. We aren't attatched at the hip, we have our own things that we do alone that make us happy, but music has just always been one of those things that we love doin together. \n\nI just feel a bit confused because he has always been the one in the relationship who is a little more 'clingy' if you will... he doesn't really care to do things if one of us is being left behind. \n\nThe thing is- I feel pretty fired up about this, and my mind is just going full speed thinking about him partying late night at a festival without me, hanging out with beautiful ladies, etc... BUT I trust him, so I know that is silly to worry about. The thing that bothers me the most is that I KNOW he would be even more upset than I am if the situation was flipped. I just don't want to make a big deal about it so he doesn't go (then I would feel extra lame), but I don't want to just bottle up this frustration and accidentally take it out on him and other ways, and I don't know how to just let it go. \n\nWould love any words of advice on how I should approach this. ", "post_id": "70b4j7", "comment_id": "dn1tbar"}, {"question": "To quote someone brilliant: \u201cI absolutely understand as I\u2019m on the verge of doing that but please do not do this. I know that whatever I say won\u2019t make you feel better in any way but fuck, please don\u2019t do this. I\u2019m here if you need to talk.\u201d\n\nI mean it, too.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ah3aul", "comment_id": "eebf7bn"}, {"question": "After two years, you are likely considering yourself life partners and thus you should live like a married couple with completely shared everything.", "comment": "My girlfriend and I have been living together for two years. She owns the house and I have paid her a bit over 1/3 of the mortgage/utilities bill. As compensation for this discount I have taken care of our yard work, pool cleaning, vacuuming, and dishes. This has amounted to a part time job for me, but I was a student so I was happy to contribute manpower.\n\nI finished my graduate degree today and just had a huge argument with her over our future arrangements. Apparently I am to now split all costs equally but continue to do 100% of the chores. She argues that she is too busy with her job and that renters always get screwed. Essentially that I should be happy with only paying 1/2, receiving no equity, and still taking care of all major household duties.\n\nThis is making me rethink the whole relationship. I'd be much happier in a smaller and less cluttered place, paying less and only having to take care of my own clutter. She doesn't even throw out her own garbage. Everything is on me. I was willing to accept this while in school but as a full time worker paying half off everything I imagined we would split things more evenly.\n\nAm I wrong to think this way? Or do I just have to suck it up for as long as she owns the house? Because renting a nice cheap single bedroom without being a maid, yard cleaner, and pool boy is starting to sound pretty appealing.", "post_id": "67kded", "comment_id": "dgr2hp0"}, {"question": "As a therapist, one of my biggest concerns is how few people define their relationships. It's not like my parents meeting in 1947!!\nIt's a complicated world out there, with more acronyms than you can count.    My rule of thumb::  Right when there is intimacy for the FIRST time--a little before or a little after-- define what you are.\n\nfwb, committed bf/gf, sex buddies, engaged, elopers, mono, poly........whatever you want to be, DEFINE IT.  DON\"T ASSUME ANYTHING.  TALK and DEFINE.  Saves a LOT of pain later on when this sort of thing happens.", "comment": "Hey guys.\nIm kind of in a low state of mind right now.\nI've been serial dating while talking to her every day for over 7 months.\nI love her, she loves me.\nAnd everything has been wonderful.\nI admited to her that she's the only woman in my life a couple of months ago. And that I love her.\nShe was happy about that.\n\nBut then she wanted to know if I've slept with anyone besides her as a completely random question while having abit of a buzz a couple of days ago.\n\nI value her trust and honesty, even though she'd never find out if I lied at that moment, I told her the truth.\n\nSince she's been exclusive with me she feels like I've cheated on her.\nI get that! And I cant make up for that with nothing but time ahead.\nBut my main concern was her trust.\n\nAnyways, after this I've become more and more insecure about her.\nI cant reach her even though she's talking to me. Like I cant reach her on the same wavelengt. My head is spinning like crazy.\n\nSo I just sent her a bunch of texts telling her Im happy I came to the realization that I've been feeling insecure and apologizing for laying all of those negative vibes on her.\n\nI acused her of cheating tonight because I thought she was so hurt about what had happend.\nShe called me instantly to proove that she wasnt.\nI felt so dumb.\nSo insecure.\nShe feels like shit.\n\nShe's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.\n\nIf anyone here has been cheating on his girlfriend or anyone who had trouble trusting your girlfriend could talk to me through PM I'd appriciate that immensly.\nBecause she thinks the only reason I've had trouble trusting her the last couple of days is because I cant be trusted.\nAnd that makes total sense.\nI just dont know how to break that barrier and open up for more vulnerability between us as it used to be. \n\nGood news is she says that she loves me.\nBut Extreme - More than words keeps playing in my head when I hear her say it.\n\nSo, Im feeling positive about myself right now and Im ready to dedicate to her for real.\nIm feeling good that I caught myself feeling insecure and I hope she can see that aswell.\nI just need someone to talk to about it who has real life experience.\n\nAnd if you have any mindsets I could carry with me, or thoughts about this I'd really appriciate it.\n\nCheers!", "post_id": "5tkswa", "comment_id": "ddn9dlv"}, {"question": "You can absolutely diagnose PTSD in an ongoing trauma. The criterion regarding time is >1 month. An example of ongoing PTSD is first responder work. \n\nTreatment is based on symptoms. EMDR is highly effective, as is neuro feedback. Talk therapy and anxiety reduction, CBT and DBT can all be effective trauma-informed strategies. One of the best things I learned during residency is make the intervention match the symptom: physiological symptoms respond well to physiological interventions and so on.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "f8fd2k", "comment_id": "filcr0i"}, {"question": "Cognitive behavioural therapy, my good friend.", "comment": "The good, the bad & the ugly\n\nI am 31 and I\u2019ve been a stoner since my 20\u2019s. I started to play with weed occasionally when I was 21 or 22, and I loved all the stuff that comes with a joint: nice mood, being more talkative than I used to be as a introvert person, awesome points of view, great conversations with myself and the one I most loved: listen to music and watching movies. I love it so much because I could smoke on weekends and opposed to booze, it has no side effects the day after I used. Even more, I dismissed alcohol as my form of weekend fun and switched completely to weed . So I felt in love with it.\n\nEventually, I started to use regulary, even when it wasn\u2019t weekend, but having some control over it ( or at least i thought it\u2026)\n\nWhen I was 25, my\u2014in those times\u2014 girlfriend got pregnant and we decided had the baby. It was not planned. So, while my entire group of friend kept having fun, finishing their education or just travelling, I was changing diapers and starting to realise the big change that came into my life. I started to use weed regular as a way to escape from my situation \u2014\u00a0while I was happy, there were a lot of responsibilities, no/little spare time and a lot expenses. We broke up after a year, and since then we share the raising of our beloved baby.\n\nWhen I broke up with her I felt almost eased. I actually didn\u2019t like her so much, so I started to live in my own flat, having a lot of time with myself, and when I wasn\u2019t with my kid, with a lot of joints. It became a regular activity for numb myself, just \u201clive\u201d and take care of daily responsibilities the best as I can, which was not easy, but I helped a lot after all. I could do my work as a computer programmer as well easily, as in those times it helped a lot on concentrating, thinking about solve problems and work long days. I used to be a casual runner, and I loved the feeling of run during 40-50 min and then back home, have a shower and light my joint up.\n\nAlmost 4 years ago I started a new relationship, and she don\u2019t smoke, but respect my freedom and she didn\u2019t mind that I was a pothead. So over 7 years I smoked almost daily, always by night. It was the good.\n\nBut\u2026 6 months ago I eat a weed cake. I was not my first time, and actually it didn\u2019t make me feel high, so I ate a lot. The day after it, I had my first panic attack. I started to think that maybe I was too long since I started smoking regulary and it was time to quit. I tried, but after 1 day, I couldn\u2019t stand and I run to my local provider and continue to smoke. I had occasional strange thought, but I could manage them before they started to become a real panic attack. I became obsessed with the idea that weed was controlling me, I feel bad and sad because I started to realise that weed was my consolation in bad times and refuse to acknowledge that it was turning into something BAD. So I keep smoking. Until the last weekend. I was with my girlfiend and my sister at home, chatting and having a nice time. And I had another panic attack, this time induced by the idea that weed was so inner in my life, my thoughts, my being, that I started to panic because I couldn\u2019t say to them that I actually want to quit but I didn't know how\u2026 they looked at me like \u201care you ok\u201d and I couldn't say a word, but puke. The bad. Real bad.\n\nSometimes I still refuse to think that I will never smoke again, but I don\u2019t want to became a psychotic guy so Im trying to focus on the good things that will come by quitting pot. Now I feel like a rollercoaster of feelings, had some paranoid and recurrents thoughts, but the more uncanny is that I am a little bit crackpot because the masochists thoughts I have (like suicide). In the end, I always try to calm my self and say: this is not you: this is the part of your brain that became addicted, so eventually i will disappear. But I am in the second day, so still felling very insecure. I'm taking some natural pils ( to help with the sleep and want to go to swim regulary. I want to be free.\n\nThanks for reading, writing this helped a lot.\n", "post_id": "8oks4v", "comment_id": "e043g6g"}, {"question": "What do you mean by mild hallucinations? As far as I know, hallucinations are not part of bpd. ", "comment": "Heya I\u2019ve e been a lurker on this sub and i have a question. Sorry if it\u2019s long though. \n\nSo, I was diagnosed with bpd in 2010 after  a month or so of delusional thought, rage, just basically a psychotic mess. I was prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotic medications which I took very badly (overdosing, not taking them, selling them at raves, etc). After that i never went back on medication and have been self medicating with weed. \n\nEvery day is a battle with my own mind but i sometimes i wonder if my delusions and hallucinations are a part of it. Has anyone else had something similar happen? Is it just bpd? \n\nI know when i am very stressed i go mental, but most other days i have mild hallucinations with mood swings. \n\nIf anyone knows something about this please let me know! Much appreciated guys, thanks :)\n\nXx", "post_id": "9qfd18", "comment_id": "e88wvt4"}, {"question": "Lots of painful stuff here. I'd suggest finding a therapist/support group.", "comment": "I am in the midst of deciding to still hold on or to let go.\nI was dating this guy (25)for almost two years. We work at the same office and go to work together.we been living together for almost 1 year.\nThe relationship was going great till the mother decides to stir things up with my family (my family had no clue I was living with him) and also some other petty issues between mon and son lead yo that.And I have been dealing with pressures from my work and family at the same time.things got worst when I accidentally found out that my bf was lying and cheating behind my back and  that shattered every inch of trust I had in him. We started having arguments which resulted in him physically abusing me. \nFast forward I have been battling depression for months till Nov. .my dad fell ill and was in and put of hospital from March 2016 onwards.\nDuring this point I lost almost 10 kg in weight due to depression. \nWe moved away from his family home and things got pretty ugly between us. He said no contact for 6 months and that he will me after this 6 months and decide\nMy dad passed away in Dec. \nNow I am in the midst of deciding should I just wait for 6 months cause I still love him despite all this or let go and start fresh. \n", "post_id": "5tkpwu", "comment_id": "ddna2mp"}, {"question": "pm'd", "comment": "I don\u2019t know how to fully express this because I\u2019m feeling pretty catatonic today, and when any emotion slips through it\u2019s like this extreme despair that makes me just want to fucking die.\n\nMe and my ex girlfriend broke up 6 years ago. Given that I was abused and abandoned by the rest of my entire family growing up, I never really felt like anyone loved me or cared about me, until I met my ex.\n\nI grew to be attached to her in a way that you might imagine anyone would to the first person that ever loved them. She ended up replacing what my family was supposed to be to me. She was the first person that ever made me feel like I was good enough for them.\n\nAnd then out of the blue, she ended up leaving me in the worst possible and most painful way she possibly could, and left me to get back together with her ex boyfriend who abused her and killed her dog while they were in a bad stretch. It was the most painful thing I\u2019ve ever experienced in my life, and the one person who ever loved me ended up abandoning me too and made me feel like I wasn\u2019t good enough.\n\nShe ended up leaving him. In the last 6 years, I\u2019ve tried to reconcile with her and get back together a number of times, but it never worked out. The last time I saw her in person was 4 years ago, and we got into an argument and ended up being on really bad terms. I haven\u2019t seen her or talked to her since June 2016.\n\nLast night I saw her at a bar I\u2019ve been going to for the first time since then. It looked like she was with a new boyfriend the way they were talking and interacting. And all the feelings of not being good enough overwhelmed me again. I\u2019ve seen this guy around the neighborhood. Everyone seems to like him. He\u2019s taller, more muscular and just overall better looking than I am. He\u2019s charismatic. I also think he\u2019s fucking obnoxious. But she\u2019s with him now.\n\nI never had a real chance with my ex. She was always going to leave me for someone like that. I was never good enough for her. I want nothing more than to find a way to just painlessly kill myself, because I can\u2019t tolerate that feeling, or having to know that she\u2019s with someone better than me, or just isn\u2019t with me anymore in general. I can\u2019t take it anymore.", "post_id": "f8dzxu", "comment_id": "filre4p"}, {"question": "Nothing in this post or your previous one really describes serotonin syndrome, which is primarily a disorder of muscles and reflexes. Fever is a sign, fever is common. Heart rate and dizziness aren\u2019t diagnostic criteria. Without knowing more, I wonder whether this was a wastebasket \u201cperson takes psychiatric meds, blame psych for everything\u201d approach.\n\nStopping duloxetine suddenly is notoriously for feeling bad in many vague ways. I would be unsurprised by elevates heart rate, nausea, and dizziness. You don\u2019t have a fever, and I suspect that\u2019s a red herring. It\u2019s also standard discharge boilerplate.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "is2n5u", "comment_id": "g554eja"}, {"question": "She has a tremendous amount of shame around her body and sex. Her insecurity was triggered by rejection, and her mind leapt to a maximalist position that it's stuck to: \"this dude is not safe.\"\n\nIn all likelihood, this was just a matter of time, because if she could be this triggered by a sin of omission (not wanting sex), it was gonna happen sooner or later.\n\nBecause it happened relatively early in your relationship, there may be no way to repair the damage. That doesn't mean that anyone is at fault. This stuff happens. Sometimes trauma steps in and fucks everybody up. ", "comment": "Okay, so I was dating this girl I met because of a mutual friend, It's definitely shortest relationship I've ever had, but it was not meaningless to me. I just some insight, preferably from women, but at this point i'll take any advice at all.\n\nI started dating this girl after 3-4 dates over several weeks. Everything was going great, and I wanted to take my time before jumping into bed with her. A bit about her, she's had a bad past, was in an unstable relationship with someone who would yell at her for crying, belittled her, and it lasted on/off for 5 years. She has also struggled in the past as a former anorexic, who almost passed away.\n\nAnyways, to the issue, about a week before the end of the relationship, I noticed her being distant, I called her over and asked to talk, I didn't blame her, instead I used many \"I feel's\" rather than making her feel at fault, and she said she had been subconsciously pushing me away because i'm so nice she doesn't know how to handle it, she cried, we talked a bit, and then we cuddled, and she said she wanted me her family on the weekend.\n\nThat weekend, I met her family (uncles, brother, aunts, grandparents), amazing people, nothing bad to say about any of them, and then something happened.\n\nHer brothers girlfriend happened to come over, she was younger by about 5 years, and my girlfriend went quiet. I noticed this and asked if she was okay, she said i'll tell you later. I took her outside away from everyone and said, is there anything I can do? She told me that she get's insecure when there's another pretty girl in the room because of past experiences, I said I only have eyes for you, and you're beautiful. Everything went downhill from here.\n\nShe ended up coming back to my place that night, and it was late, so I knew she was thinking about sex, I had been up since about 5 am, and was not feeling well, up until this point I had only given her oral, and this caused a downward spiral that ended everything.\n\nShe was very hurt, like, no matter what I told her, she said that she was angry and thinking selfishly because she shaved for me, got dressed up for me, and she really did look beautiful. I get her being confused, why would you go back to your boyfriends place so late, if not for sex, that's my mistake, but it still felt so forced. I told her I just wouldn't be myself 100 % if we did it right now.\n\nThe following day, she said she was confused about her feelings, I ended up seeing her 2-3 times that week (which I realize was probably a mistake I should of given her space, and she also stopped initiating all texting. Her body language was closed off, I didn't understand why she was hanging out with me if I couldn't even hold her hand, it was very awkward.\n\nI decided to stop initiating contact for a day or 2, and she just...didn't say anything. I concluded that it really seemed like she wanted out and was just too shy to do so. I asked for my ipod back, she let me hold her hand while ending things, and then...we made out with one another.\n\nSince then I asked if we could remain friends or friends with benefits because her best friend seemed to suggest that if there was less communication and just more fun times, she would open up more.\n\nShe said we could be friends, and took a long time to consider it, since then I have texted her twice in a week, with no response, so i guess friendship is off the table.\n\nShe's an awesome person, I really tried my best, and i'm not looking to get her back, maybe to be friends one day, but being ignored hurts, and I know I need to accept this and move on. Can anyone help me rationalize my situation? Is it really because I refused sex just after a month of dating? (my longest relationship was 4 years and i'm just trying to figure this out) She's an awesome girl and it sucks that she won't even message me, she didn't argue the breakup,said sorry for wasting my time and cried.", "post_id": "6gdxfm", "comment_id": "dipkc1x"}, {"question": "she needs a therapist", "comment": "I (22/m) have been dating her (20/f) for four months.\n\nshe broke up with her ex because he wasnt really interested in her. she found the spark with me and we were heavily in love with each other.\n\nAfter the snowstorm in georgia all the roads became ice and i wasnt able to travel a typical 40 minute trip to see her. when she is alone she becomes depressed and so she starts questioning herself.\n\nnext thing i know, the very  next weekend, i come over and i tell her that i love her. she doesnt say anything and she looks down and starts biting her lip. i knew something was wrong and i was expecting that she somehow sent a risky text or something to someone....idk..\n\nshe eventually said that she doesnt love me anymore. that its been on her mind the whole week. the core temperature of my body went to ice. I didnt know what to do. it took several minutes for me to process this and i broke down in a silent cry. i didnt ask why, i just didnt want it to be true. it was so random.\n\nAfter 2 hours of talking we ended up having sex. this obviously didnt change anything. it was the last thing we did before it became final. after another hour i left. i wanted to make sure she still felt loved but there was nothing i could do.\n\non the way out i started to break down. i couldnt see the road that well. but i didnt care. its like looking through a wet windshield. I felt like someone told me she was dead and im on my own again. no one to love. no one to accept my kindness and return it in full. \n\nher name swarms my mind and i cant do anything without thinking of her. Ive prayed for a person like you for so long and i finally had you.", "post_id": "5ojun1", "comment_id": "dcjxapo"}, {"question": "Training your brain is just like training your body - it takes effort, time, and is best done starting off slow.  If there is anything you already know of that takes your mind off your trauma, even for a few minutes, you can start intentionally using that several times a day to train your brain to focus.  Expending this by a few minutes at a time and/or doing it more times per day will help.  \n\nYou can also play around with other things that might occupy your mind - singing a song, counting steps, doing a physical exercise, reading a book, playing Sudoku, etc.  Some things will work for you and others won't.  Yoga and meditation are awesome and frequently the two best methods for mental training long-term, but they can be challenging to get started with if you're really struggling with having repetitive thoughts.  This is a tough skill to develop, when you're already mentally and emotionally exhausted, it's good to remember this and be patient with yourself throughout the process.  Good luck!", "comment": "I was diagnosed about 6 months ago and I can\u2019t see my therapist anymore. I literally wake up and go to sleep with the trauma on my mind. Is there anything I can do to stop this or even think about it less? ", "post_id": "98kcqt", "comment_id": "e4hum9i"}, {"question": "Very well said and so true. The picture of drinking in our head doesn\u2019t usually match the reality at all! Since my drinking became problematic, there was never one time when I woke up thinking..\u201dI\u2019m really glad I drank last night.\u201d It\u2019s more like you said; what the hell do I do or say. Are people pissed at me for something or did I manage to skate through without ruining a friendship or starting a fight? Or did I say something inappropriate or mean that has no resemblance at all to my true feelings or beliefs, either in the name of humor or to lash out for who knows why. For me, there is also almost always more drinking the next day to put all the things I just mentioned out of my head. What a miserable way to live!! Glad to be sober and hopefully have all of that behind me. IWNDWYT!!", "comment": "Wine is...\n\nTo my delusional brain:\n-Feeling \u201csexy\u201d and desirable \n-Very European and laid back\n-Sinatra in the background as I cook \n-A fragrant aroma on the lips \n-Deep conversations with girlfriends\n-Giggling and telling jokes\n-A \u201cdeserved\u201d break from the day to day \n-Letting loose, \u201chaving a good time\u201d\n-Being \u201csocial\u201d and \u201cfun\u201d\n-A harmless way for a gal to relax \n\nIn reality:\n-A pounding, relentless headache\n-Bloodshot eyes and red, swollen cheeks\n-Sallow, dry skin and stained, dry lips\n-Embarrassing myself in public\n-Fighting with my husband \n-Hanging on people, harassing them with my putrid, toxic breath \n-Bruises from origins unknown\n-Accidentally breaking my property\n-Careless, dangerous mistakes\n-Forgotten, meaningless conversations\n-Shallow/vague/indulgent confessions of love and appreciation to people who are in, actuality, mere acquaintances \n-Crying uncontrollably about things that happened 10+ years ago\n-Sloppy dancing and slurred sing alongs (aka looking like a total mess and fool) \n-Saying god-awful things under the guise of \u201cbeing honest\u201d \n-Insane and chronic anxiety and sadness\n-Regret and actual terror over what I possibly said and did \nThe list could go on and on and on...\n\nI have a friend\u2019s wedding in September and actually thought about having \u201cjust\u201d a glass the other day. I wrote this to hold myself accountable. IWNDWYT", "post_id": "cd2x55", "comment_id": "etrmm9o"}, {"question": "Psychiatry has an active, amorphous hatedom. Some is disgruntled former patients, with legitimate grievances or not. Some is funded and drive. by Scientology, which as a tenet of faith opposes psychiatry. Very little is science-based. Like anything, you can find fringe views and plain lies as easily as accurate information by blind internet search. \n\n1. There is some reason to be concerned about the long-term effects of some medications. Reporting latched onto antidepressants, but in actuality the risky medications are any that are anticholinergic. That\u2019s a number of old psychiatric medications, but not fluoxetine or lamotrigine, both of which appear safe for long-term use. \n\n2. That\u2019s a site that, like any, mixes information with misinformation. I would take it with a few grains of salt in part because of the bias of who\u2019s there. People who stopped taking medications quickly or even cold turkey and had no issues aren\u2019t thinking about it or discussing it online. Unless there\u2019s a rush there\u2019s no downside to a very slow taper.\n\n3. Yes, everything will probably go back to how this gs were without medication.", "comment": "In May of 2015, I saw a psychiatrist for treatment for my generalized anxiety disorder symptoms and she prescribed me two medications *fluoxetine* and *lamotrigine*. The medicines helped but I got some nasty side effects like weight gain, sexual dysfunction, gynecomastia, and emotional blunting. In May of 2019, I started my taper off the lamotrigine under my PA's supervision (went to a different psychiatry clinic), and my PA got me off the medication in October. She then tapered me off the fluoxetine and I should be done in a few days.\n\nI have been very hesitant about going on psychiatric medications for years due to the fears of side effects and that if I had an adverse effect on my health, I would have to deal with it and it would be my fault. While tapering off the medications, I encountered a domain called `survivingantidepressants.org` in a DuckDuckGo search. I was looking for an online withdrawal support group and while I did get that, many of the users on that site were very cynical about the safety and efficacy of these psychiatric medications. They also seem to be very wary of what they call the \"mental health system\" or as they call it the \"psychiatric industrial complex\". Some even go as far to refer to \"mental health\" and \"mental illness\" in scare quotes, as if they are saying mental health issues aren't real or made up by the pharmaceutical industry to make money. It's all one scary conspiracy theory.\n\n1. I'm concerned about the possibility of brain damage from prolonged use of these medications. An article on CNN stated that medications like fluoxetine and lamotrigine are associated with brain atrophy with prolonged use. My PCP and psychiatric physician's assistant assured me that I should be fine, that the online media exaggerates side effects for clicks, and not to worry. I've been on these med for about four years. What's your opinion?\n\n2. I encountered some weird information on that `survivingantidepressants.org` website. One info suggested tapering off a psychiatric medication under a 10% dose reduction every month. When I told my PA that, she told me that this doesn't apply to the majority of patients who are tapering. The site also claims of conspiracy theories of the FDA allegedly colluding with pharmaceutical companies in order to bring drugs to market ASAP and bypass safety testing. At first this sounds plausible, but when I heard about the time the FDA prevented the manufacturer of Trintellix from advertising the antidepressant as a medication to improve cognitive function in patients, it made me question the claims made on that layperson withdrawal site. What are your thoughts?\n\n3. My PCP and PA said that everything should go back to the way it was before treatment once I am off the final medication for a few months. Is this good advice. Do I have reason to be concerned? What should I look out for?", "post_id": "ex85mj", "comment_id": "fg75bcr"}, {"question": "Many psychologists offer sliding fees to fit your financial burdens, although as a business- they have to make money.\n\nMight try seeing a Master's level therapist (LPC, MSW, etc) - they are just as good and cost less (the only real difference between a psychologist and a counselor is that a psychologist has a degree to to research and can offer more assessments)", "comment": "They charge something like $100 an hour, every week... that really adds up. How can I justify allowing my family to pay those kinds of fees for me?\n\nI don't meant to sound unappreciative, or rude. But I wonder if it's making me feel worse allowing my family to suffer the costs simply because I suffer from mental illnesses? (depression and anxiety... to a very debilitating extent)", "post_id": "sgtf9", "comment_id": "c4fca3r"}, {"question": "I'm sorry for your loss, and after echoing u/Mine24DA I'll expand on what he/she said.\n\nEKGs are divided into shockable and unshockable rhythms. Asystole, the classic flatline, doesn't respond to shocks, and neither does pulseless electrical activity (PEA), an electrically normal-looking EKG without normal muscle contractions. In your mom's case, since she had a heart beat, even a faint one, she probably also had an adequate electrical rhythm. It's possible that not breathing is what made the heart muscle stop pumping, so trying to ventilate and give medication to increase heart function would be the best they could do.\n\nCPR and ACLS have low success rates even under the best of conditions, but again, I wish things had gone better for your mom.", "comment": "My mom was 52 years old and in good health with no problems to speak of until June. She had what the ER called a vasovagal attack, told her it was rarely fatal and to buy a fitbit to monitor her heart beat and blood pressure. \nHer first \"attack\" started with typical symptoms of vasovagal and involved a small (10 second) seizure. \n\nOn July 4th she had another attack which involved a longer (30 seconds) seziure. The ER told her to reduce stress and take salt pills. \n\nOn August 21st her fitbit app woke me and my dad up and this time she had a much longer seizure (1 minutes and 30 seconds), after that she said, \"I think this is it, I love you\" and passed out. Her fitbit showed no heartbeat or blood pressure. My dad and I who are both CPR certified, took turns working on her until the emts showed up. They performed CPR and gave her a shot but did not shock her.\nIf they had shocked her do you think she would still be alive? She had a faint heartbeat when the emts showed up but was not breathing. \n\nShe was 5'6 and weighed about 130 pounds. She was white and Ive stated the duration of the complaint above. \n\nWe live in rural Missouri and like I stated previously, she had never had a health problem before in her life. She was a smoker and smoked about 10 cigarettes a day. \n\nI talked to her at 2am the morning before she died and they called her time of death at 6am. She seemed perfectly normal and said she was feeling good. \n\nI guess Im just wondering why they didnt shock her and if they had would it have saved her? \n\nThanks for your time Reddit Docs \n", "post_id": "9g8vck", "comment_id": "e62osvn"}, {"question": "Quiet rivers run deep.\n\nPassive aggressive: empty vessels make the most noise.\n\nBut honestly, it's all kind of bullshit. Just cuz I'm quiet doesn't mean I have anything profound to say, and just cuz you're jabberin away doesn't mean you're an idiot. But maybe it'll get people to stop calling you out for it.\n\n\n", "comment": "Or the even more obnoxious sarcastic remark, \"you're so loud/rowdy\"? ", "post_id": "t0kx9", "comment_id": "c4iln0e"}, {"question": "Hi. Sorry re delay. I am delighted and its getting easier. Still the usual cravings but much less at the front of my mind. Things better with family life too. Hopefully they will stay like that!! How are u getting on now? What are u doing to replace the booze? ", "comment": "Hi \ud83d\udc4b Ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well I\u2019m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. \nShort intro, I\u2019m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn\u2019t a year old. I didn\u2019t drink a drop during pregnancy but once I had him - boom \ud83d\udca5 I stupidly had that first drink thinking I will be able to moderate now. A mistake we have all made I\u2019m guessing. \nI now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary\u2019s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. \nHowever I remember how great I felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how I dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! \nDetermined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. I know I can do it and have the drive to see it through so let\u2019s do this! \nEek scared and excited at the same time", "post_id": "8m0esx", "comment_id": "e0m6tzs"}, {"question": "Feel you on this one! Hence why I am now being a marriage and family therapist! I can now use it as a gift to help others haha", "comment": "So I'm one of those people who lose all sense of inhibition when I'm with friends, but hanging out with people I don't know as well makes me fold into myself. I find it impossible to speak and would rather go unobserved. \n\nWhich makes it all the more irritating that my brain is so quick to jump to conclusions and understanding what people are saying before others are. I cannot count the amount of times I've been infuriated listening to conversation where two people are talking past each other, both not realizing that the other is completely missing the point or they're talking about two different subjects. Sometimes to move them along I just straight up explain to them what the other is saying because I'm so impatient to get this convo going. Rude? Maybe. But God, guys, why are you still discussing this! Why does no one in the room seem to understand what the conversation is actually about! Get a fucking move on!\n\nNow the worst thing I know is people who interrupt (sorry, interrupters, but it's super annoying), so I'd rather sit there suffering than finish someone's train of thought for them, but GOD is it tempting. ", "post_id": "9nsnp4", "comment_id": "e7p1tfm"}, {"question": "You should see a therapist.", "comment": "My boyfriend of over 13 years confessed that he's cheating on me. We have a 11 year old daughter. I had a feeling but no proof for over a month now. Before he confessed, we were having problems and he was picking on me, so I told him I wanted a break.  I wanted to give him a break from me because I had a feeling he was cheating on me.  He knew he was getting \"caught\" when I would ask him questions and make statements. Ever since he told me, I have anxiety and depression.  I can't eat and sleep.  We are not together but still live with each other.  He is still talking to her.  I made a reddit account because I cannot talk to anyone else about this.  ", "post_id": "6wgc3y", "comment_id": "dm7t35e"}, {"question": "A lot to consider here.  As a therapist, my general practice is to not disclose my diagnosis of a client unless they specifically ask and/or I feel like it would somehow be beneficial to their treatment (without causing any possible harm).  \n\n\nI've never refused to tell a client my diagnosis of them when asked and will always explain it.  Overall, therapists are fairly split as to whether they think diagnosis is helpful or necessary.  \n\n\nHonestly, if I didn't have to give a diagnosis for the sake of insurance companies making it a requirement, I probably wouldn't even bother.  \n\n\nYou stated that you \"possess more than average info on psychotherapy\".  Now, I'm making assumptions and could very well be completely wrong in my assumptions, but I'm assuming you're the type of person who does a lot of online and literary research on diagnosis and treatment but aren't actually a therapist yourself?  \n\n\nIf this is the case, you, along with others like you, are the last clients I'd want to give their diagnosis to (keep in mind, I personally still wouldn't refuse if asked).  I also probably wouldn't want to give the diagnosis to a patient who is also a therapist.  Looking up information online and overidentifying can cause more problems than not having a convenient label.  I'd also rather spend our limited time working on helping you with symptoms than arguing over a label, especially if it's one you don't agree with.  \n\n\n\nI imagine you won't be happy with or agree with what I've said, so let me also leave you with some practical advice.  If you're using health insurance, you can easily contact your insurance company and get a print out or email of all your insurance claims.  Your diagnosis attached to the claims for therapy will be on there.  You can't use health insurance for therapy without having a diagnosis attached.", "comment": "Hello.\n\nI have 1 severe issue with psychotherapeutic practices in general. It is the fact that me, as the client, am not informed regarding the diagnosis/assesment of my mental health (or deliberatly misdiagnosed), and I am more or less kept in the dark about it.\n\nThis lack of transparency and honesty from a psychotherapist severly undermines my trust in them, prevents any therapeutic alliance, and makes me question as to why whould I entrust them to handle parts of my mind that have major inlfuence over my life. This lack of accurate information interferes with my freedom of action, and is a refusal to accept my individual choices - an ethical issue well discussed at reference point 9 and 10 [here](https://www.jahonline.org/article/0197-0070(89)90005-3/abstract) (i am not a teenager; psychotherapy I am undergoing is not paternalistic, but the research paper describes very well the problem).\n\nI have raised this issue with my therapist, and what I got is a vague explanation together with a smile/grin, which has not been satisfactory, hence I came here for help. I don't expect a solid answer here, just thoughts and ideas.\n\nA concluding question would be how can I convince my therapist that withholding diagnosis is doing more harm than good to me?\n\nI poses more than average info on psychotherapy, feel free to use specialist terminology.\n\nThank you.\n\n​\n\nEdit 1: Reference link not working properly, fixed it.", "post_id": "cp87di", "comment_id": "ewooahs"}, {"question": "Honestly I do believe that we can learn to have  control over how our thoughts impact our feelings and vice versa. You can easily 'feed' insecurity and negative thoughts through action, words, and thought. You can counter them with positive self talk, and that is evidenced based shown to be effective in combating negative emotions and thoughts. self talk is a big part of recovery, and we often are not our own best friends.\n\nPart of what I think is helpful too is to learn to be less sensitive about our mental health. Yeah it sucks and feels like a criticism, but it's not unwarranted nor is it meant in jest if someone has a suggestion or comment on our behavior. We need these opportunities to grow and learn from our mistakes to beat this. And we definitely can overcome it\n\nTo add on to this, I work in addiction recovery. A lot of my clients are addicts that do want to be clean but continue to relapse and make the same mistakes. The problems are less about drugs and more about their underlying issues and how they approach the world. Mistrust, dishonesty, stubbornness and rigidity, desire to take the easy path, lack of patience... among many other things, all play a role in recovery. You can be sober but if you keep acting with those behaviors and thoughts, you will relapse and you will never heal, you will continue to struggle. \n\nI think bpd is similar. If we continue to let this disorder guide our behaviors and thoughts we never find our sense of self, never form our own identity, and forge our own path ahead. My favorite part of DBT was 'opposite action', where you literally do the opposite of how you feel. And it fucking works. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "ar8b03", "comment_id": "eglf2z5"}, {"question": "be direct with your feelings", "comment": "So this girl and I started hooking up last year. At first it was just a friends with benefits relationship. But she got really into me. And I just didn't feel the same way. I liked her but I wasn't looking for a GF at the time. So things progressed to the point where I just let her text first all the time. I put zero effort into the relationship and would just invite her over for sex. \n\nWell she obviously saw what I was doing. One day she just didn't text me. Then the next day. And the next. This went on for about a month. We never talked about it and still haven't to this day. But recently she and I started talking again. Nothing really sexual. Just making dumb jokes and talking about each others day. I miss that. And I miss her. \n\nShe has this puppy now that keeps he pretty tied down at home. She doesn't really go out on the weekends anymore. And trying to get dinner and drinks would be difficult for her due to the dog. I want to talk things out with her and tell her everything, but I don't know where to start, or where to begin. I'm really big on making plans before doing something like this, so I was wondering if anyone could offer some advice on the best way to go about this. Please help!\n\nTL;DR: I want to tell my old FWB that I'm ready for a relationship but don't know how to do that when its so hard getting her to meet up.", "post_id": "5ssswi", "comment_id": "ddhjkbl"}, {"question": "It's probably over if you don't trust someone after a much shorter period of time than 2 years!", "comment": "I'll keep it simple. What do you do if you love someone but don't trust them after 2 years. Honestly...", "post_id": "76bq8d", "comment_id": "doctdsz"}, {"question": "You want to do it because it feels good.  It's what we call catharsis.  Doing an action that lets out your pain and anxiety so you don't have to bottle it up.  In Japan, they have cafes that you can go to, pay for ceramic vases or glass bottles and chuck them against a wall.  \n\n\nThe important thing is making sure you control your impulses enough so that nobody gets hurt or at the very least it's an appropriate setting like martial arts competition or contact sport.  Only thing that becomes a problem with relying on this as your only coping skill is that when it's not readily available, hitting yourself or someone else becomes the easy solution to a quick release.  \n\n\nBest thing you can do is find a bunch of different activities that help get your frustration out.  It's honestly one of the reasons many years ago as a young angry teenager I became so involved in the punk and hardcore scenes.  Screaming your lungs out is a great release (though inappropriate in many settings), getting in the mosh pit (especially at hardcore shows compared to really any other genre) is violent and wild, and you get hurt, and hurt others, but so long as you weren't purposely targeting anyone... it's acceptable behavior in that community.  \n\n\nAll of this to say, everyone needs ways to cope with stress.  Some are productive, some are destructive.  I think it's always best to use productive ones or turn destructive ones into productive ones (Ie.  I love gardening and helping friends to landscaping work.  One of my favorite things is putting on gardening gloves and ripping out bushes/brush/etc.)\n\n\nLastly, probably a simple quick fix in the short term is to get a punching bag.  Just make sure you get some instruction on how to wrap your hands and use appropriate gloves and form so you don't hurt youself.  ", "comment": "ok so basically every day i'll want to punch or destroy something for no reason. like this morning i was drinking some water and i really wanted to throw the glass across the room. i was also watching tv with my sister and she was fidgeting and i wanted to punch her. i also like out of nowhere imagine myself stabbing a part of my body and then i'll really want to do it?? if i dont actually perform the act i want to do i'll get really frustrated and start twitching or i punch myself repeatedly. ", "post_id": "93avcf", "comment_id": "e3d23gr"}, {"question": "Ultimately, you know the situation, your wife, and her doctor better than any of us. You will have to ultimately use your judgment on what's going to keep her safe and alive. \n\nI would suggest talking to her psychiatrist, if you feel he would e sensitive to your concerns. Maybe you two can come up with a plan to help her? Either way- he needs to be aware that she is not taking her medicine for him to help. ", "comment": "My wife has suffered from depression for years. The severity fluctuates -- at worst, she's suicidal and has attempted it before. She's headed there again. I've been through these attempts before, and the signs are clear. Problem is, she stopped taking her medication about six months ago, and has been lying to her psychiatrist about it. I've been supporting her decision and not ratting her out. But, now that she's sliding down so fast, should I tell him? Part of me says yes, because she clearly needs medication, but another part of me knows that if I did that she'd feel so betrayed that she'd become suicidal right now. And by that I mean she'd get a hotel room and kill herself, like she's threatened to do many times before, and not give me the opportunity to intervene like I usually do.\n\n", "post_id": "2ivnl4", "comment_id": "cl60l7e"}, {"question": "Oh boy. This is sort of a loaded question. I got my LMHC in MA after getting my Masters in Counseling. I also live in MA. My understanding of this is that with your SW degree you have an easier time getting independently licensed and can use that in a multiple states. With your LMHC you have to get independently licensed in each state which may or may not mean returning to school. I've heard from LICSW friends that they have more career options and often get paid better due to versatility in their degree. LMHC is less social work related jobs and more therapy jobs (although they can be somewhat interchangeable, as in doing more of a LICSW job now and am an LMHC, and plenty of LIs do therapy).\n\nPersonally I don't regret getting my LMHC but wish I had more information on the differences during grad school. I think it's more of an access to jobs difference, but maybe someone had better information than I do. \n\nI can answer anything you'd like I know about LMHC track, so feel free to ask! :) I practice in MA and have had my license for about a year. I just started my own private practice, so it sounds like we have similar career goals!", "comment": "I am a 24 year old Skills Instructor (working with adults with disabilities) with a BS in Psychology looking to go back to school and get my masters. My ultimate career goal is to be an independent couples counselor working out of my own home or a private office.\nI originally was planning on applying to a state university program for counseling but was recently told that if I want to be independently contracted then clinical social work is a better program to apply for.\nSo, marriage and family counselors of Reddit, what's your advice for the best path to go down to get where I want to be? What're the next steps I should be taking?\n(I live in MASSACHUSETTS if that makes any sort of difference licensure wise)", "post_id": "6ve7iu", "comment_id": "dlzqxug"}, {"question": "get couples therapy if there's substance in the rel.", "comment": "Okay so we had been dating for over a year, and when things are great, they're fantastic. When things aren't, well, they just aren't. We did fight a lot over really small dumb stuff, but never amounted to anything and we made up super quickly. About two weeks ago we \"broke up\" but she really just asked for some space to figure stuff out. She texted me two days after saying \"you know if you hook up with anyone else then we really can't get back together\". I didn't hook up with anyone, but this really said to me that she wasn't really keen on breaking up, and maybe wanted some space for me to realize some stuff to change. Anyways, we came back from spring break (neither of us went anywhere) and she pulled the plug. However the way she did it, again, really just seemed like she was buying time. So i was setting up in my head all these things i could do to treat her even better, since at times i did kind of neglect her when i was busy with schoolwork. She came over last night and she was extremely serious that this was over and there was no chance of us getting back together and since i was pretty much in denial the whole time that she was done, i lost it. I don't think i've ever broken down like i did, and i basically slept on the floor in my own room last night. I just don't know what to do, i'm having a terribly hard time trying to let go of her and I really don't know what to do. I would fight for her back until the end of the earth, but she just wants none of it.\n\nif anyone can help me with any aspect, please do", "post_id": "6262aw", "comment_id": "dfk1u0y"}, {"question": "Are you taking 75 microgrammes of desogestrel daily? Then its working as a contraceptive (at least after a couple of days of use).", "comment": "19 y/o female here\nOk so, when I was 14 I was put on Apri birth control. My doctor told me that it wouldn't work to protect against pregnancy, it would only help my cramps. So If I needed birth control for its intended purpose, I have to tell her. But the dose was the same as its use a contraceptive, right? So I don't understand how it wouldn't work for that. ", "post_id": "6r9fh4", "comment_id": "dl3jxfu"}, {"question": "Well, hearing sounds that are not there is a symptom of schizophrenia. However, this does not sound like a symptom of schizophrenia to me.", "comment": "I'm 19 and have been diagnosed with health anxiety and a panic disorder. My main worry at the moment is schizophrenia. I've noticed that I sometimes hear sounds that aren't there when I'm falling asleep. I googled it and it seems like its a \"common\" experience (according to a study it's up to 70% of people who experience it, just can't recall it). However, I can't find anything about if it's linked to having schizophrenia or not and it's making me quite worried. I also have a history of derealization (I don't experience it anymore thankfully). Could this be a sign of schizophrenia in the future?\n\nP.S. I'd go so far as saying that my panic disorder has now been cured. I haven't had a panic attack in almost two years now.", "post_id": "dxt5h3", "comment_id": "f7wfxml"}, {"question": "First of all congratulations on 30 days.\n\nI will say that the twelve steps are designed so that some of the things you mentioned are addressed so they don't cause you stress in the future. \n\nI don't know what your goal is with sobriety, but if you are attempting to be abstinent for a significant period of time, I can promise you things that stress you will come up. Especially in the categories you listed. \n\nAll that said, I don't recommend going at it without a program of recovery. Because when those things come up if you don't have any new tools to help you out then you will almost invariably resort to your old tool. The great thing is you have options in respect to what program you want to work. Your sobriety is your own, so do as you please, but I do know going at it without any support or program will be exponentially harder. \n\nAgain congratulations on the big 30 and I wish you luck on having that number continuing to rise.", "comment": "I have made it to 30 days AND I haven't gone to AA and I will tell you why although this may sound stupid and irrational. I would like to believe that my decision not to go to AA is a somewhat educated decision. I know that in order for AA to work you need to go on a continuous basis and you need to follow the 12 steps. I also know that this has worked for countless people everywhere. My decision not to go is based on what I know about myself. First and foremost I have a horrible time with following through on things which causes me stress. I also have a problem with following directions all the time, which causes me stress. I have a problem with people counting on me for things, in fact the more people count on me for something the more stressed out I become. As you can see there is a pattern forming here, a lot of things cause me stress. For the most part I can avoid the things that cause me stress for those things that I can't avoid I turn to alcohol. So my theory, up to this point, is to avoid adding another stresser to my life. Like I said it may sound crazy but that is how my twisted mind works. ", "post_id": "1h76rr", "comment_id": "carhnp1"}, {"question": "This is probably due to dissociation secondary to the trauma. It might be what is called depersonalization, go look it up.  Trauma focused therapy can help.", "comment": "Since I was 13, following a traumatic situation, I no longer feel anything. \nAll my adolescence has been empty, I only have pain.  I will never go back to the one before.  \nI take the drugs but they don't help me.", "post_id": "gp9gv2", "comment_id": "frm0mid"}, {"question": "go to couples counseling", "comment": "I'm 34/m with 31/f we've been together a year and says I deserve better and wants to break up. Says she loves me but thinks other peoples relationships are better and we are missing something compared to them. She's moving to another state for work and also had a miscarriage 2 months ago.....", "post_id": "67m26w", "comment_id": "dgrpasq"}, {"question": "Every day that i can. ", "comment": "Hey. Idk how much more I can take this agony of emptiness. I feel dead. Like nothing I do has meaning. I feel depersonalized. Has anyone overcame this?", "post_id": "5rcov3", "comment_id": "dd68avv"}, {"question": "It's hard to tell without more information. Are you talking about a situation where a former client calls in to a meeting that is being held in a treatment center? And I assume that current clients are attending the meeting that the person is calling into? For a regular AA meeting you would definitely need to get a group conscience on it. Since it's at a treatment center (I'm assuming in the US?) it gets even more complicated as they may be running afoul of patient confidentiality laws. The US law is especially stringent in terms of rules for substance abuse treatment and confidentiality. I would definitely bring this up with the counselors/admin as well as in the meeting's next business meeting.", "comment": "What are your thoughts on someone repeatedly listening in on an AA meeting, that is taking place in a treatment center, via speaker phone?", "post_id": "67kwue", "comment_id": "dgri1d2"}, {"question": "That sounds incredibly stressful.  I would advise you see your prescribing doctor as soon as possible. What you\u2019re describing are listed as \u201cserious side effects\u201d of vyvanse and doing a quick search Zoloft and vyvanse are listed as being two that can have interactions.  [source](https://www.drugs.com/vyvanse.html)", "comment": "I have adhd autism anxiety and body dysphoria  I'm on vyvvance  and zoloft but I've been having other symptoms  idk if they are side affects or what but I've been having insomnia, fatigue, mood swings, irritable, empty feeling, dizziness, headaches, fastening pulse, twitches, urges to rule my eyes and move basically any other body part, shakiness, cold sweats without fever, constantly thirsty,  the urge to bite, cut, and scratch myself,  acne, fidgety, red dots on feet are not itchy and don't hurt, eczema, asthma attacks come on faster, spacing out for minutes at a time,  \n\nIf this has any relevance I recently  stopped  cutting and started seeing a therapist I also have what I think is a melanoma  on my back.  I also have no sense of no you shouldn't/ shouldn't have done/do that also the emptiness is on and off one day I will be empty the next day  I could be fine or I could  be empty  again pls pm me if u have any idea  of what's going on I also recently  developed  a stutter\nI am a masochist and a sadist, I feel like most of my friends are gonna abandon me and I have been told that I am toxic by a bff of three years, I have been emotionally and sexually abused by online \"friends\" I have never knew my grandfather  and I have been emotionally abused by irl friends, whenever I ruin a relationship  I feel nothing not empty just nothing. My crush is going through things rn and I can't  stand to see her in pain. But she is going to abandon me like everyone else and I just know it. I have also been hearing whispers I think my friends are talking shit behind  my back, I'm mentally and physically  falling apart", "post_id": "ff66j2", "comment_id": "fjwt0xp"}, {"question": "1 month is reasonable, esp. if she is seeing a therapist. don't date other people and decide on a level of contact. if someone needs space, your best chance is to give it. ", "comment": "Only asking because I feel like im being strung along by my ex. She says she 'hopes' we'll get back in the future. She gave me a rough estimate of 1-2 months so she can 'focus on herself' at the same time she wont give any commitment. We talk every now and then via messages (havent seen each other in months) and she says we have a future. But at the same time, she's cold towards me and shuts down my attempts at rekindling. It feels like a really cruel game. SHould I just drop her? I am still in love but this whole thing feels so wrong and artificial.", "post_id": "65oiat", "comment_id": "dgc0gvl"}, {"question": "Although this itself is a simple answer as well.... you're oversimplifying the diagnoses of BPD and NPD a good deal here.  While what you said can be true sometimes of those individuals, what you've stated is more of a simplified stereotypical view and it's not so dichotomous.  \n\n\nIn order to be diagnosed with a disorder, you need to meet certain diagnostic criteria.  The diagnostic criteria for the two disorders can certainly overlap and don't preclude each other.  If you'd like to know more, simply look up the DSM-V diagnostic criteria for each disorder.    \n\n\nThese two fall into what we call cluster b personality disorders because there is a lot of overlap.  In many cases, someone may not meet criteria for an official diagnosis of on particular disorder but exhibit various symptoms from various disorders within the cluster.  \n\n\nUsually over time a clinician zeroes in on one diagnosis.  While it's certainly possible to have both of these diagnosed at the same time, I don't believe it's very common.  \n\n\nRemember too.... a diagnosis is the clinician's best guess at what's going on.  It's not clear cut like a doctor looking at an X-ray and saying you have a broken bone.  ", "comment": "So, I've read that apparently 25% of people who have borderline personality disorder also have narcissistic personality disorder. Can someone, ideally someone with personal experience, explain to me how this is possible? The two seem like completely diametrical disorders. Someone with BPD has an unstable identity, someone with NPD has a very rigid (if entirely false) identity (right?). People with BPD frequently feel inferior, people with NPD feel superior.\n\nHow can they coexist within one person?", "post_id": "8vkkd9", "comment_id": "e1o2ick"}, {"question": "The answers to those questions probably depend on your friend. I'd say, ask you're friend how they want you to address that issue. ", "comment": "I'm making a new friend, and she's had to leave school on account of hearing voices and panic attacks in crowds, as well as fainting  and feeling judged. I ask because this is somewhat new so I'm not entirely clear on how it works, and she's been more or less fine every time I've seen her; besides sympathy is there anything else I should be doing/bear in mind?\nI'm not the most mentally healthy person I know, so it's not as though my perspective on what helps is entirely that of an outsiders That said, I don't experience any of these things in particular.\n", "post_id": "219mwi", "comment_id": "cgcwxxx"}, {"question": "... Yes. I feel guilty about it too for some reason", "comment": "When I\u2019m alone at home doing homework or chores around the house, I always have YouTube videos or podcasts playing in the background because it makes me feel less lonely. \n\nDoes anyone else do this or am I just weird? Lol.", "post_id": "bdack7", "comment_id": "ekypz6l"}, {"question": "you have to decide if you're ready to commit. everything follows from that, even long distance.", "comment": "Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now but are now in our final year of school before university. So far our relationship has been amazing, we get along so well and have had pretty much no problems or arguments whatsoever over the 2 years! We are very much in love and have completely happy with our relationship, I honestly would not change a thing! \n\nBut next year we are both going off to university. If we end up at separate universities We have agreed that we will definitely break up as long distance things like that never work out, but there is also a chance that we will end up at the same university.\nHowever, I am not sure if I want to carry on next year even if we end up at the same uni! I kind of want to be able to experience uni life to the fullest, and am looking forward to meeting new people. I can't help but worry that we will end up breaking up messily we meet other people? I also feel like I want to be able to meet and pursue relationships with new people, who are very different to me. Part of me also (very guiltily) wants to be \"free for freshers\" as i have been in a relationship for so long!\n\nOverall I am torn between staying with an amazing girlfriend whom I love, or taking a plunge into uni life and being free to make new relationships and meet new people. I am just worried about throwing something special away for impulsive desires, but also worries that I am tying myself down too early on in life! \n\nThank you so much for taking the time to read this and give any advice you have, it is very appreciated! ", "post_id": "5kmxj8", "comment_id": "dbp3wgp"}, {"question": "In brief, unless there's something else you haven't mentioned, yes. It's common to start at 50 mg.", "comment": "Age:18\nMale\nSuffer severe anxiety and panic disorder \n\nHey my doctor prescribed me 50mg a day of sertraline and i decided to ease myself in by starting on 25mg as my body is sensitive and im very scared of taking new meds , ive been taking this for 4 days now and feel ready to up to the 50mg, is this okay to do now?", "post_id": "f01yem", "comment_id": "fgqzktb"}, {"question": "If you have a bunch of levels already it's a win. With less than a year of sober actions and risk catching, this sounds massively misguided and really scary. Each person's sobriety is their own thing but this smells just like the addiction trying to convince you it's gone. \n\nRelapse usually comes on the back of three conditions which means proximity/access alone is never the problem by itself. \n\nCongratulations because each win is a win but this set off my Spidey Sense. ", "comment": "Day 23 here and today I took possession of a bag of weed for my brother in law who lives with me and helps out on my farm. It is a thank you gift as he enjoys his smoke and it isn't a problem for him. \nI sat with him whilst he had a smoke, I could smell it, I could almost taste it .... And yet I'm ok. \n\nI can do this. I wasn't sure how it would be but it's ok ... I don't want to smoke weed anymore. The addict in me does but my voice is louder. I feel like today is a breakthrough. I've been tested and I've scored gold \ud83d\ude01", "post_id": "b7bo3o", "comment_id": "ejrowp5"}, {"question": "Oh man. \n\nSo, first, a note that I am a therapist but I am not YOUR therapist and I am not providing psychological advice. You should talk to your own clinical team about specific treatment plans.\n\nWith that said, this really gets to the heart of why I, personally, do not like *traditional* CBT. Circumstances are often legitimately very hard; I fundamentally do not believe that the main reason people suffer is because they are being irrational. \n\nI, personally, am still a cognitive behavioral therapist, but I identify specifically as \"third wave\", especially ACT and DBT. For me, something that is really essential is the \"acceptance\" piece. Radical acceptance is both super difficult and super valuable and without acceptance, I think it's hard to move into building the life you want to live given the limitations and specific circumstances you are facing. \n\nYou are not doing something wrong; you cannot fail at being a therapy client. But your therapist or the modality that the therapist chooses CAN fail you if it's not meeting your needs. In my opinion, circling around a bunch of thoughts and emotions that are rational responses to legitimately difficult circumstances, trying to nitpick anything that could potentially be irrational, would not be something that I would personally find helpful or valuable in therapy as either a therapist or a client.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "hdzia4", "comment_id": "fvowm26"}, {"question": "One thing that hasn't gotten mentioned: most systolic murmurs, especially in younger and thinner people, are benign. It's just the sound of blood flowing through the heart and nothing to worry about. Without hearing the sounds we can't know, but very often an echocardiogram is overkill. But an echo and ECG also don't do harm, so nothing really lost even if this is an unnecessary workup.", "comment": "Age -23\nSex - Male\nHeight - 183cm\nWeight - 72kg\nRace - Caucasian \nDuration of complaint - less than a week\nLocation (Geographic and on body) - no\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any) - no?\nCurrent medications (if any) - no\nInclude a photo if relevant (skin condition for example- not relavent\n\n(Throwaway becuase I don't want my.familt to freak out)\n\n\nHello! Gonna jump right in: I had a sore throat that started last Monday, and peaked on Thursday, being quite painful but I could still talk and eat normally, just painful, but not impossibly so. Monday to Wednesday, I had just sore throat with no cold symptoms, which then started thursday, with the general \"I'm sick\" shittyness feeling, runny nose. Cough started later, around Saturday. Sore throat died away on Friday, now I am just left with a cough, runny nose and \"feeling sick\"\n\nSo, I went to the doctor today (Monday) as I'm still feeling sick. It's the first time I visit this doctor, and as a new patient she does a mini exam with her stethoscope. She says she hears a \"systolic heart murmur\", and orders an \"eco-doppler cardiogram\" and ECG, but says it's no big deal. Then she asks if I've been vaccinated for Hep B, I check my old records sent to me by my parents(on my phone) which say I am not, which to be honest are not complete (eg I've been vaccinated against  HPV, but it's not written) so might be Infact vaccinated, but not sure, so she orders a Hep B test, HCV test, then asks if I've ever been tested for HIV. I haven't, and respond as such, and she orders that test as well. Also, she orders a test for bilirubin levels. \n\nBefore all this, she asked me \"have you always been so skinny?\" To which I respond \"yes, even more skinny\" (as I recently went through a depression where I wasn't eating much/well, I've recently put on weight since then, but still kinda \"skinny\"). This is the only reason I can see as to why she asked for these tests. Other than that, im kinda freaking out, what would make a doctor want to run these tests?? Is it just routine to check? I always use protection and wouldn't know where these diseases came from otherwise, I'm just frightened, and I wasn't told much after the appointment. Before this cold, I was perfectly fine, no symptoms of anything! Can anybody shed some light on this, let me know if they're just regular tests, or something I should be ready to be worried about??\n\nThanks so much! ", "post_id": "bavib9", "comment_id": "ekelmkt"}, {"question": "Depression is so hard ! It just sucks the motivation out of people.  Even if he wants to get better , he may feel helpless and hopeless , which makes it even harder .\n\nYou mentioned a physical illness . Is that being managed? Is his doctor aware that he is this depressed? I have no idea what his health condition it, but it would important to rule out a health condition or medication that could be impacting his mood. \n\n\nWould he be willing to talk to someone online? It may feel less intimidating.  Perhaps you can make an agreement that if he attends X sessions , you will lay off a little bit .\n\nRe ECT , it is not an option right now if he has not first tried therapy and frontline med options.  The long-term side effects are really intense.\n\nHe is lucky to have you ! Supporting and loving a partner through depression is hard work.", "comment": "My boyfriend of 5 years has been on the decline for the last 4 1/2 years. Both due to his past and a sudden sickness that took away his ability to eat his favorite foods, he\u2019s an insomniac and never has energy. He just wanted to die, he hates who he is I feel like I do try really hard to make his life better by coming up with good food, were together all the time. He doesn\u2019t really have other friends, WILL NOT see a therapist I have asked many times. I\u2019ve tried to offer or suggest things to do but he\u2019s so closed off. Idk what to do... any tips to help break this cycle?\n\nAs a side question does electric shock therapy work? I\u2019ve done some reading and was hoping he could try it, tho I think they force you to go to therapy.", "post_id": "fpon4i", "comment_id": "flmelgt"}, {"question": "Absolutely brilliant post and video. I true look into why drinking replaces our relationships and why taking the first steps away from drinking can be so isolating. Really eye opening, Thank you. ", "comment": "I spent a long time not thinking I had a \"real\" problem with alcohol. I never got a DUI. I never showed up to work drunk. Hangovers were rare. I'm still married to a beautiful wife who loves me. I have a good relationship with all of my many children. \nSo what if I drink myself blackout drunk every single night? \n\nWell, I knew it was no good for my health, and since I already face numerous health concerns despite otherwise taking good care of myself, (I'm otherwise thin, exercise regularly, eat carefully, etc) finally decided that my health was worth quitting over. \n\nSo just over 2 months ago, I quit, and have been white knuckling it every day. It's been tough because I haven't had the firm, decisive resolve as I have in the past. Every single day has been an emotional fight, and every single day I've eventually won by deciding that, while I might well drink up later, that *I don't want to today.*\n\nI think that daily fight has forced me to really pay more attention to *why* I'm doing this. Yes, my health was my original reason, and it's a good one, but somewhere along the way [I ran into this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg) and have subsequently been trying to find pleasure and meaning in my relationships, rather than the bottle. \n\nPerhaps the time had finally come, but in the last 48 hours, I've had deep, emotional, meaningful talks with my wife about many of the recent challenges we've faced as a family, including the near death of two of our children. Among other things, it came out her deep sense of loneliness and abandonment because, like always, I was simply unavailable (drunk, passed out) between 8 PM and 4 AM, every single night. \n\nMy deep shame and sadness has been almost overwhelming. My wife has been perfect about this, sharing it with me without blaming me, forever practical and patient. It's been bad enough that I felt like drinking tonight, if only to get a break from the pain I've been feeling! But I feel closer to my wife and family than I have in years, even though it hurts, and I spent an hour in the parking lot at the grocery store tonight, unwilling to go anywhere near the liquor aisle until I'd decided if I was going to drink or if I wasn't, not willing to let a compulsion make the decision for me. \n\nI feel like I've spent years having two dimensional relationships with everybody around me - practical, functional, shallow, and lacking depth. I never noticed because of the daily haze that washed over me during the time I could have been thinking about or interacting with my family. \n\nI don't think Alcohol was root problem, although it certainly has been contributory. Instead, I've been afraid or unwilling to commit to deeper connections with my friends, wife, and family, \nand hiding from that by drinking the worries, fear, frustrations, and emptiness away in an alcohol-induced haze. \n\nJust yesterday, I had the revelation that perhaps I didn't really *like* being drunk anymore, but at this moment, even that seems almost like a different person. The world is richer in color, depth, temperature; a baroque sharp relief where a perpetual cool fog once lay. \n\nI still have a *lot* of work to do to put my life and relationships back together. ", "post_id": "3szeuh", "comment_id": "cx1um78"}, {"question": "I'm not sure if it's the same in England--I'd be very surprised if it was different--but over here in the US, most universities offer at least a few sessions at the university's counseling center included in tuition. \n\nIf I understand correctly, you're at the University of York, and [according to this page on their website](https://www.york.ac.uk/students/health/mental-illness/yourself/), on the right-hand side of the page is some contact information for the support center. I would start there. If you need more in-depth assistance, they can refer you to an appropriate clinic or hospital.\n\nI hope that helps!", "comment": "I will keep it short. I think there is something psychologically wrong with me so looking for some advice as to how to find someone to tell me if I am just imagining things or something is actually wrong. I am living in York in England but all advice is welcome and very much appreciated. I am also at the university in york if that helps. \n\nEdit: Thank you all for the advice for what to do. I am going to email when I get back to university about doing sessions and also to my GPS as well. Thanks again to you all.\n", "post_id": "5l43jo", "comment_id": "dbsqnvt"}, {"question": "1) How old are you? If you are over 18, then you have nothing to worry about, the doctor cannot say anything to anyone unless you agree. If not, then you don't really have a choice in the matter in a lot of cases. But, you're parents can be a great support, and I would highly recommend bringing them into your situation. Obviously, I don't know much about your situation, so this might not be true. \n    \n2) Yes, doctors are mandated reporters. If you tell him you are thinking about hurting yourself or someone else, and he thinks there is immediate danger, he is required to report it through the proper means. But, that does not mean you will be put in a psych hospital. The best thing would be to go and be honest, and try your best to feel better through the means you have and can get. A voluntary visit to the psych hospital will be much better than the one you are forced to go to, and you'll hopefully get help either way. \n    \nAt this point it is about you and your health. If anyone thinks less of you because you need and are trying to get help, they are wrong. Please be safe, please do not go through with your plans. If you think that is possible, please call emergency services or a suicide hotline instead. I don't know what has brought you to this point, but someone's life would be less without you in it, and if nothing else, that's something to live for. ", "comment": "I've been depressed for the past two years, this past year its advanced from depression to being suicidal. I haven't told anyone about this and kept it pretty well hidden though my grades and life in general is starting to slip. I'm considering telling my family doctor about it but I have some concerns. For one, my parents can never find out. I also can't go to a psych because I wouldn't be able to keep that away from my parents and because of the cost. And finally, I'm concerned about what would happen if I admitted to him that I often think about killing myself and have a plan to go through with it? Would he be required to call the police or whatever? \n\nI just want to get some anti depressants to see if that would help. ", "post_id": "1xluzi", "comment_id": "cfci65j"}, {"question": "I agree with the idea of giving her the benefit of the doubt AND staying open to other therapists .\n\nEveryone I know is slammed right now.  People are seeking therapy like never before,  and adjusting to the new demands of telehealth is a big adjustment.  Even those who use it regularly are struggling to keep up with the new demand .\n\nMany therapists are also struggling with other stressors.  Closed schools and daycares,  partners unable to work , etc.", "comment": "A few months ago I was shopping around for a therapist when I met with one that I connected with and was very excited to work with. Unfortunately some financial issues came up so I let her know that I wouldn't be able to start as soon as I'd like however I'd reach out as soon as I'm in a good place financially. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when I reached out to let her know that I'm ready if she has any openings. She sent me her availability, I confirmed the date I was available, and I haven't heard from her since. I even followed up again a few days ago to no response. I'm so bummed because I have been so eager to start this work and finally get the support I need. Wondering if I should give her the benefit of the doubt especially with everything else going on in the world right now and continue waiting for a response or if I should let it go and find a new therapist.\n\nEDIT added clarification", "post_id": "firdkm", "comment_id": "fkkxhn5"}, {"question": "It could be all kinds of things, none of which we can diagnose over the internet. Some are serious. Especially with eating disorders the scary problem would be electrolyte abnormalities that produce abnormal heart beats that don't provide adequate blood circulation. If this happens again definitely go to an emergency room.", "comment": "I\u2019m 27 F, 5\u20195 about 220 lbs and I have atypical anorexia/binge eating which I am about to enter residential for next week. I am on vyvanse, accutane, Effexor xr, and yaz. Twice at work I have been standing and felt like I was going to pass out. Vision going black, cold and clammy, pale. I work in a medical setting, so the nurse took my blood pressure and it was normal, 120/86 and my sugar (sugar is very low when fasting, last time it was 59) and it was 100 after I ate a pop tart an hour prior for breakfast today. This is the second time this has happened to me this week. I\u2019m not pregnant or diabetic...does anyone know what this could be? I know it may be connected to my eating disorders but could it be anything else medically? ", "post_id": "8orcyq", "comment_id": "e05h8ip"}, {"question": "It sounds like your condition is pretty serious. I, nor anyone else on the internet, can advise you to change your medication regimine, nor can anyone predict the outcome of doing so.\n\nI strongly encourage that you discuss your concerns with your doctor. Even with a slow taper, you may experience some pretty serious consequences. \n\nTapering off meds should always be done under the supervision and guidance of a physician/provider.", "comment": "i am male 38yrs old,  height 6'0\" i weigh 260lbs idon't smoke... i have been diagnosed bi-polar, PTSD, and general anxiety disorder. possibly BPD as well.  i am trying to come off of my meds because i feel like crap all the time, i am basically a zombie.\n\n​\n\nI've taken lots of different meds, some worked better than others but ultimately failed. I'm currently on lithium, keppra, seroquel and (klonopin as needed). i always feel like crap and my thoughts were to taper off and keep seroquel and/or klonopin as emergency pills... the rest of the pills eventually id like to be done with. my replacement would be exercise and diet. is this a bad idea? i mean, even while i was on depakote a while back, i almost took my own life so, how bad can it really get?  i am tired of meds. also, these meds I'm taking are fairly new... within 3 months so, it shouldn't be a difficult withdraw. any thoughts on this... if i left out info I'm sorry and would respond ASAP. thank you in advance.", "post_id": "bkxxtz", "comment_id": "emkga6d"}, {"question": "Suicide is always a personal choice someone makes to deal with something they don't feel empowered to solve. There are a lot of supports out there he could have utilized. There's always the thought of \"I could have done something different\" but really there's plenty he could have done differently, not you.\n\nAside from that, that's terrible and I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you are seeking the support you need", "comment": "Everyone tells me it wasn\u2019t my fault. Sure, I didn\u2019t pull the trigger but no one knows what really went on inside of the relationship. We were so in love, soul mates. I tried to commit suicide last year and that\u2019s when I was diagnosed with BPD on top of depression and anxiety. I would go crazy over the smallest things. I\u2019m so embarrassed how I acted, I mean outbursts like trying to slit my throat and arms in front of him. I\u2019ve ran out of the house barefoot before, had cops called on me, and he was even arrested once. I was so attached to him, I wanted him to stay home 24/7 so he could never see his friends. We fought a lot about that one. He told me he would never leave me because he knew I felt abandoned and he loved me beyond my problems. He told me I was his only reason to live. I started spiraling down big time the month leading up to his death. We fought all the time because I was incredibly controlling and wouldn\u2019t let him leave the house. So we decided to go on a break, but this time was different because he actually changed his relationship status to single on FB. He came home that night and he was drunk and crying saying he loved me so much and I sat on his chest and wiped his tears away telling him it will all be okay. I asked if he wanted dinner as I walked to the kitchen. He declined and changed and said he was running to the gas station real quick. He said he\u2019d be back.. but he never came home. I got the call two hours later that he had shot himself. The person he called on the way to do it told me his last words were he loved me and he didn\u2019t understand why we couldn\u2019t get along.\n\nI can\u2019t explain the way I feel, but if you too have BPD, maybe you will see where I am coming from, no one else does.. \u201cit will get better\u201d they say but are you kidding I\u2019m going to think about this every day for the rest of my miserable life.\n\nMy entire world feels shattered. I\u2019m literally losing my mind. I was too attached or maybe too in love because I don\u2019t know who I am anymore", "post_id": "9te769", "comment_id": "e8vophs"}, {"question": "Prescription medications for anxiety are mostly not addictive. There are a handful of exceptions, and they're the ones that are effective for brief periods rather than with consistent use. That said, situational and episodic anxiety is largely not something that is best treated with medication. Therapy can be very helpful, however.\n\nHerbal anxiety pills, like other \"supplements\" are either not proven to be effective or proven to be ineffective. (There are maybe a handful of exceptions overall, notably St. John's Wort, which has shown efficacy for depression.) There's also very limited regulation of what goes into supplements; they often don't contain what they claim to, and may contain harmful ingredients. My advice is to save your money and spare yourself the risk.", "comment": "I am a teacher and at times, get very stressed out or anxious. I am a non-smoker and non-drinker. I am wondering if any kind of anti-anxiety medication would help me even out the moods or help me feel less anxious/stressed during certain times of the year. I don't think going full-blown prescription medication is something I am interested in as I have heard those get addicting. \n\n​\n\nAmazon has tons of herbal anxiety pills. Are they all just quackery and do not do anything? Are any kinds effective even a bit? If so, which ones would you recommend?\n\n​\n\nAge: 40\n\nSex: Male\n\nHeight: 5'9\n\nWeight: 179\n\nDuration of complaint: Comes and goes last few years\n\nCurrent medication: None\n\nNon-smoking, non-drinking", "post_id": "bbf2j5", "comment_id": "ekie3fm"}, {"question": "I think I commented on another post of yours. Basically chill out! Your brain is developed enough to tolerate the medication you are taking.", "comment": "19, male, 180cm (5ft 11in), 125 pounds (55kg), White, N/A, N/A, depression/tiredness, weaning off Venlafaxine, N/A.\n\nI'm 19 but I could pass as a 14-year-old, I am very underdeveloped for my age (no chest hair or real facial hair, voice not fully broken).\n\nI am absolutely petrified that antidepressants will give me permanent sexual dysfunction, or affect/retard my sexual development in some way.\n\nI can't stop worrying that the drugs are affecting that part of my brain in some terrible way.\n\nThey say that people under 18 shouldn't take certain antidepressants, well as I said I look much younger! What if my brain is that of someone much younger too? What if my sexual development isn't developed enough and is therefore being affected by these drugs?\n\nPeople online have said they have permanent sexual dysfunction after taking antidepressants. There are lots of people who think these drugs affect the mind and body negatively, even hormones.\n\nI've been on Zoloft, Prozac, Citalopram and i'm currently coming off Venlafaxine to start Mirtazapine.\n\nCan someone tell me if I should be worried or not? Thanks.", "post_id": "5pgtj6", "comment_id": "dcrl0xg"}, {"question": "I don't know what will or won't convince someone to do a tubal ligation. I will say that if you want highly effective birth control a copper IUD is just about as effective\u2014it's not perfect, but neither is sterilization short of a full hysterectomy. Copper IUDs also have a known effectiveness of 10 years and might work indefinitely, duration shouldn't be much of a reason to pick between them.\n\nIf you do not and never want to have children, there's no inherent reason not to have a permanent procedure. For you, the convenience of not needing surgery and, maybe more importantly, not needing to convince a doctor of anything more complicated than desiring not to get pregnant *right now* might be of use.", "comment": "I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I'm planning on talking about what kind of education I'm pursuing and how long that would take me. I would finish up school and everything by the time I'm 32-33. Throwing a baby into the mix would make my goals much harder to achieve. Major depression and bipolar disorder are very common in my family. I'm the only person in my family that has never had any mental health problems. Everyone had something by the time they were my age. I was raped at 19 and again at 21 and getting sterilized would give me more emotional security. Like, even if I can't control some things, I can still control that aspect. If I get raped again, I would feel a lot better knowing it couldn't cause pregnancy. The threat of pregnancy affects my sex life even with birth control. My ex freaked out when he found out I was getting deployed so he poked holes in our condoms. I found out and took Plan B to get rid of it. I don't want that to happen again. I'm not sure if I want kids or not yet because it depends on a lot things (e.g. financial security, what my partner wants), but I do know that I won't have biological kids. I don't want something growing inside me for 9 months. The idea of childbirth is disgusting to me. I don't want to risk a medical professional sticking their hand inside me to check how dilated my cervix or whatever. There isn't a whole lot of control I would have over my body during the process. I don't want to be completely vulnerable in front of a bunch of strangers. The whole thing just seems terrible and I couldn't deal with it. I won't put my physical/mental health at risk for a biological kid. I won't sue my doctor even if I regret my choice because thats immoral. I'm willing to sign a contract and as many consent forms as my doc wants from me. I wouldn't fuck with my doc's career because they gave me what I asked for.\n\nI'm thinking some of this might be too personal or that it's not really something you're supposed to talk about. Do you think I should take anything out? I feel like he might chalk this up to me being traumatized and recommend therapy instead. \n\nBackground: I'm 23, 5'0, 102lbs. I've asked 6 doctors nearby to sterilize me so far and they all refused.", "post_id": "97e17h", "comment_id": "e47i8yl"}, {"question": "TNF\u03b1 definitely isn't only associated with cancer. It's a marker, and in fact a driver, of inflammation. It will be elevated in cancer, but much more commonly in other inflammatory conditions including rheumatoid, like arthritis, or even infectious.\n\nSince you didn't list your symptoms it's hard to say more.", "comment": "Hello docs,\n\nEh I'm sweating from panic.\n\nExperiencing very worrisome symptoms in the past 2 months, but I was trying to attribute them to weed withdrawal.\n\nAge: 20\n\nHave been smoking weed of very bad quality for 2 years, every day, without knowing that it was of such quality.\n(could be laced with detergent or heroin)\nEach joint was half tobacco, half weed approximately.\nHave also been smoking cigarettes for 2 years, around 1.25 pack a day.\n\nLast few months I've only smoked high quality weed, but I'm scared about my past habits.\n\nAnyway I just got an email with my TNF-Alpha levels being elevated - and I'm extremely concerned.\n\n[**8,6** | \u2191 0,0-8,1 ng/l]\n\nAm I correct by assuming that this can't be due to weed withdrawal, and is associated with cancer only?\n\nWill go to the doctors tomorrow obviosuly, but I really want to know.\n\nOther stuff being out of bounds:\n\n* erythrocytes **6,09** \u2191 4,20-5,70 x10^12/l\n* granulocytes **75,3** \u2191 43,0-65,0 %\n* lymphocytes **18,7** \u2193 20,5-46,5 %\n* serum albumin **53,4** \u2191 35-52 g/L\n* serum uric acid **440** \u2191 208-428 \u00b5mol/l\n* bilirubin total **49** \u2191 5,0-21,0 \u00b5mol/l\n* direct bilirubin **9,2** \u2191 0,0-3,4 \u00b5mol/l\n* vitamin d **29,26** nmol/l (insufficient 25-75, deficient <25)\n* serum electrophoresys albumin **66,4** | 53,8 - 65,2\n* serum electrophoresys beta globulin **8,4** | 8,6 - 14,8\n\nMy symptoms:\n\n* intermittent rib or lung discomfort on the right side, sometimes left side as well (feels like it's under my ribs, in a wider area)\n* jaundice in my eye whites\n* pain in my fingertips on fingers and toes (hopefully not clubbing)\n* feels like my chest lymph nodes could be enlarged, but x-ray was clear (read on many sources how they can often not show on an x-ray)\n* lymph node above left collarbone is easily palpable, feels soft (sometimes harder) and rubbery, movable, but been this way for many years\n* sometimes I feel itchy at night\n* my liver being on the upper normal limit (size-related)\n* had a persistent cough for 2 months, while I was quitting weed, but it is gone\n* had teary, red eyes in the morning, but this is gone as well\n* alcohol intolerance\n* had night sweats for 2 nights in a row, in first days of weed withdrawal\n* lost weight (not sure exactly how much, around 5-6kg in the past month)\n\nAny help is massively appreciated!", "post_id": "8d0ts5", "comment_id": "dxjcquz"}, {"question": "Yeah, that would be a good day for me. Glad you\u2019re sober for two years, that\u2019s great! \n\nMy day would start out by waking up at 2:00 in the morning because my body needed a drink. Chug the vodka with a splash of cranberry or whiskey and coke all made on my nightstand because I know this will happen and does every night. Then I will hopefully pass out again until I woke up for my alarm at 4:30. Shaking, I have to start making my Gatorade and vodkas for the day while trying to get down my morning drink. Some days I will throw it up and it will take another drink before I can hold it down. Drive to work with a drink, and try to load up the truck and get everything ready for the job, hoping I am able to get another few sips in soon. All day trying to keep the fine line between feeling like I am gonna die/shaking and being too obviously drunk or too drunk to work. My whole day is spent just trying to get through it so I can drink more when I get out to really take the edge off and feel some small amount of relief or a little less like I am going to die. So I drink more when I get out. All that does is get me to be able to eventually pass out until I wake up again at 2 in the morning needing a drink, and I am left with no choice but to continue the same sick disgusting cycle, just trying to survive... until I get home and drink to get some relief again....and the cycle continues. That was a living hell", "comment": "Wake up with hangover. Have muse some tea with ginger. Bathe in cold water to bring pressure down and \u201cwake the *** up\u201d and try not to look drunk at work. Brush and do mouthwashes to get the alcohol breath out. Go to work and trade emotionally rather than logically. For lunch have healthy food.\u2019keep drinking water through out day to be \u201cready \u201c for evening. Think about what to drink at night. Walk about 2 miles so I can drink as much as possible. Evening go to liquor store. Buy alcohol and lotto tickets. Go home pour me self a drink as I cook. Then engage in sports betting and online poker as I drink up. Do violent betting and poker plays as I got drunker and drunker. Engage in sexual talks online and get hook ups at even midnight. Drink water and sleep usually snoring.\n\nThat used to be my day for 10 years. \n\nWill post a weekend schedule tomorrow \n\nNow sober and happy for 2 years", "post_id": "c22jk3", "comment_id": "erii389"}, {"question": "Follow what your doctor says, if you don't feel well, call your doctor and talk to them. Your doctor knows you better than we do. ", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "83ngdf", "comment_id": "dvj5xip"}, {"question": "[Sleep paralysis](http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sleep-paralysis/Pages/Introduction.aspx)\n\nI'd be advising lifestyle changes before going down the antidepressant route.", "comment": "I've tried googling terms that could find an experience similar to mine but none of them really describe what I'm getting.\n\nI get sleep paralysis maybe once a week which is not bad, but sessions as bad as this are like once a month.\n\nI lay down to sleep, go into paralysis and eventually break out of it a few minutes later like normal.\n\n\nTonight is one of the bad nights, where I'll break out of the first paralysis for a few seconds, and fall right back into it. Over, and over, and over. Maybe once every 30 minutes I'll break out of it enough to grab my phone and browse around to make sure I don't fall back into paralysis (I'm doing that right now) but even after browsing breaks of over 30 minutes I'll attempt to sleep again and do the exact same things again.\n\nI haven't been able to find any advice on the sleep paralysis I'm getting, as most people seem to just be reporting it once or twice. \n\nI've gone through like 40+ few-minute-sessions of it already tonight and I've been up for an extra 3 hours now.\n\nI know there's lifestyle changes to be made in the future to improve my sleep paralysis, and I know it's from my sleep habits in general and am trying to fix them, but nights like these make it pretty impossible overall to be in control of my sleep and I'm hoping someone has a bit of possible advice for me.\n\nMy psychiatrist told me not to worry about sleep paralysis and no Mediciation is needed because it only happens every once in a while.\n\nI just don't know why sometimes it will span for hours on end (made up of individual minutes long episodes of course) and am curious if anyone has a tactic to get to sleep for good in these situations.\n\nThanks for any advice, comments, or experiences. Much appreciated and hopefully I'll manage to finally get to sleep after attempting again.", "post_id": "5xfjka", "comment_id": "dehwjj7"}, {"question": "Is it just this, or is there anything else you have to do that distresses you?\n\nWhere do you live? Any psychiatric or other medical history? Any family history of mental illness? Any drug/alcohol use? On any meds?\n\nIn any case, it's probably not a bad idea to see your GP on the first instance (to rule out common medical causes), then a psychiatrist if it seems appropriate thereafter (ie if anxiety or OCD is suspected). \n\n[OCD](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/obsessivecompulsivedisorder.aspx)", "comment": "Hi there all,\n\nI'm an 18 year old male, and for the past year I've had this weird sensation around my armpits and more recently with my hands. Basically if I don't touch my armpits for a while, this odd sensation that I **need** to touch my armpits builds up and up and up until I literally cannot bear it, and I just use my thumb to rub and move around my armpit area to quell this sensation. I have my clothes on while I rub the armpit area, so I rub it through said clothes. And whenever I lift my arms up, the need to rub my armpits increases and I feel the urge to rub them. As a consequence I either rub them or move my arms back down so that my armpits are touching my torso. If I wear clothes that touch my armpits for too long it feels super uncomfortable too and I have to give a quick tug on my shirt so that my clothes aren't in contact any more.\n\nAnd as for my hands, it's fairly similar. If I keep my palms open for too long, I feel the urge to close my hands and rub my fingers around my palm.\n\nIs there any remedy for this? It's such a disturbing sensation, and it's so incredibly uncomfortable.\n\nThanks.", "post_id": "58tazb", "comment_id": "d933w4b"}, {"question": "CBT, possibly DBT based on your OP.", "comment": "What kinds of therapy work best for getting to the root and changing self-sabotage and being stuck in life? I've had some experience in working with a coach but I didn't click with the coach and they said I have a victim mindset. They said I need to get therapy for that before being able to work with them but they couldn't specify where I should look, so I just wanted to know who here has experience in finding the best therapy for ADHD?\n\nI have experience in seeing different kinds of counsellors through EAP benefits but they haven't helped much in the past with ADHD. They used stuff like CBT worksheets, etc.", "post_id": "eo6wie", "comment_id": "fea0piv"}, {"question": "It sounds to me as if she is using some of these behaviors to grab your attention and get her way. Understandable that you would become upset at the sound of your child talking about suicide! My favorite parenting book is 1,2,3 Magic. I use it myself, teach parenting classes with it and use it in my practice. It\u2019s usually available at local libraries and is also very inexpensive on Amazon, especially if you don\u2019t mind a used copy. It will help you learn to take the emotion out of her behaviors and your own reactions. Highly recommend. Good luck!", "comment": "On mobile, sorry for the wall of text. \n\nMy child is 8, and has been saying things about killing herself. If I don't respond to her text fast enough, she says things like \"I should just die\".  She's also asked me, \"why do you abuse me?\" The thing is, she's never been abused. We have a fairly stable home life, parents together; no drugs/ alcohol. Her dad and I both work, and while sometimes we struggle financially, we also have lights, water, and food on the table. She says these things when her behavior is out of control, throwing things and screaming, and I have her go to her room to try and calm down in there, or just feel her feelings in her room, her space. She has a great, helping heart. But she also is very emotional and just spirals. \nWe want to put her in therapy, but I'm concerned that if she says she's being abused,  there will be an investigation. And I know we have nothing on that end to worry about, that's still not something I want my family to go through. I guess what I'm asking is would her saying she's abused be enough for a case to be opened? I'm not saying there's no abuse to cover my butt or anything, there is genuinely no abuse, physical, mentally or otherwise.", "post_id": "bwcp01", "comment_id": "epx6erj"}, {"question": "Hey! I run a website geared around social skills called [Improve Your Social Skills](http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com) I also teach a social skills class for students with developmental disabilities. I'd love to share with you some of the lessons I've done (and learn from you as well.) Shoot me an email or a PM!", "comment": "Hey all,\nThanks for your time.  I teach a class called \"social life skills\" for adults with developmental disabilities.  I am looking for some lesson ideas that are both appropriate for the age and skill level of those I teach.  My students are all adults with sever to moderate disabilities.\n\nDo you guys know of any websites that may give basic social skills lessons or advice?  Thanks.", "post_id": "1chwzt", "comment_id": "c9gpkcu"}, {"question": "Who would you suggest has sufficient knowledge to speculate?\n\n(Personally, common sense usage is fine)", "comment": "Talc / talcum powder has been in the news in the past few years because of a lawsuit brought by a woman against Johnson&Johnson in which she claimed they were responsible for her ovarian cancer because of unlabeled asbestos in the talc of her baby powder.\n\nSince then it seems to have been found that much talc from around the world contains asbestos; a lot of what's used may not be tested; and what is tested may be labeled 'asbestos-free' when it contains as much as 2% asbestos.\n\nIs this adequate reason to stop using all talc products, or would that be an overreaction to what's known about the situation?\n\nSome different use cases that might have different levels of danger:\n\n-Shaking foot powder out of a shaker bottle onto the feet\n\n-Shaking medicated powder out of a shaker bottle onto the crotch (women / men)\n\n-Patting baby powder onto the crotch with a cotton puff, perhaps creating more airborne particles\n\n-Applying baby powder onto a baby with a cotton puff or spreading with hands\n\nOf course this is a speculative question. I would appreciate speculation ONLY from those with sufficient knowledge to base their speculation on.", "post_id": "6sjckq", "comment_id": "dldogv7"}, {"question": "A little weird, but not incredibly taboo. Share it with close friends, but not acquaintances or strangers.", "comment": "For example.. I'll play tug-of-war with my feisty little dachshund and, because I have the advantage of having hands, I easily best him every time. So then, to even the playing grounds, I sometimes instead bite part of the toy and it's much more fun. If anything, it's a little unsanitary.  \n\nThings like this happen all the time. I always feel like I'm doing something differently than most people. It's easy to see that what I'm doing might not be fully socially acceptable but I always think that people will just reason with themselves that it's not actually an 'odd' thing to do, if you know what I mean. Am I just weird?", "post_id": "ylurs", "comment_id": "c5xlhbg"}, {"question": "Although this isn't my area of medicine, I think the answer is a somewhat surprising \"we don't know, and we don't even know how to know.\"\n\nConsider: how would you examine this? You can test people randomly and see how many asymptomatic people have chlamydia, but you wouldn't know for how long. It would be unethical to not tell them or treat them and see how long it takes for symptoms to develop. There's really no great way to be sure how long an infection can persist unnoticed.", "comment": "Age: 25\nSex: male\nHeight: 5\u201911\nRace: Caucasian\nDuration of complaint: none\nLocation: none\nExisting medical issues: none\nCurrent medications: none\n\nI had unprotected sex about 9 years ago. I have no reason to believe I do have Clamydia, as I was never contacted by that partner nor by a doctor. I have never shown any symptoms.\n\nI have submitted a urine sample today as me and my GF have recent discussed having children. I wanted to make sure I\u2019m clean for when we take off the protection.\n\nHowever I\u2019m naturally a very paranoid person, and the two week waiting period for the results has me stressed, and I\u2019m looking for some piece of mind.\n\nIs it possible to have gone these 9 years without showing any signs of Clamydia?\n\nThank you in advance for any responses.", "post_id": "bsn18g", "comment_id": "eoogb49"}, {"question": "Same way, and if I am in a large social group, it is even worse. It is almost like my brain short circuits and I shut down. It is apparent by looking at me that I am very uncomfortable and I don\u2019t want it to be but it feels like I can\u2019t stop it from happening. ", "comment": "A lot of them are just so loud. People talking, kitchen sounds, hard walls and floors creating echoes, and sometimes tvs. Then there's the whole sensory overload that is having screens in almost every direction you look. It's becoming really hard for me to go out sometimes now. Just frustrating because I like going to eat with people, but, restaurants are increasingly becoming kinda crappy places for me to interact with people.", "post_id": "abdxyc", "comment_id": "eczpl67"}, {"question": "Insurance has a right to access health information, but your doctor has no obligation to disclose anything, and I\u2019m sure he or she has absolutely no interest in doing it. Insurance is fairly unlikely to go combing through your chart. You parents do not have any right to your information under HIPAA.\n\nYou\u2019re probably fine.", "comment": "Will my parents health insurance increase?? Please help\n\nStory: I\u2019m 23 years old and using my family\u2019s health insurance until I start my job in a few months. I recently had a check up at the doctor and told him I use vapes and nicotine on occasion. I\u2019m now extremely worried that my parents will either find out through my doctor telling my insurance company, or my insurance raising their rates. I would really just like to know what happens insurance wise, or if the doctor reports this to them.  I told this only to my doctor, but will the insurance raise the rates? Or will this affect me later on in the future?", "post_id": "hwdax5", "comment_id": "fyz1vor"}, {"question": "Accepted me for who I am. If I forgot something say, well this is frustrating but we can fix it. If I lost interest in something let me change to something else instead of forcing me to do what I now hate. Accepted that my feelings, opinions, mood, style, personality will change like the wind and be ok with that.", "comment": "TL/DR - Parent seeking insight-\n\nWhat do you wish your parents knew or understood about you when you were younger?\n\nWhat do you wish your parent would have done differently?\n\nI'm a parent of a son with ADHD. One thing that I love about this sub is getting to see and hear the perspective of you all as it gives me insight into my son and my clients that reading a training doesn't (I'm a counselor). This sub has been amazing for me to read, and occasionally comment on. You all are amazing, and its a privilege to read your stories, your rants and your triumphs.\n\nSo, as a parent, I would greatly appreciate if you would answer the two questions above.", "post_id": "c1f6mq", "comment_id": "erecxhf"}, {"question": "This varies by region and program. \n\nI had about 1500 supervised hours as a practicum student with 150ish hours of supervision.  My internship was 2000 hours , with 1 hour of group sup every week , 2 hours of didactics and 2 hours of individual sup. Then,  2000 hours of post doc with 2 hours of sup a week.", "comment": "I'm really think that much of the training a mental health professional does is shrouded in mystery and that this lack of information is really harmful to clients.  Specifically, I would like to know what were your supervised hours like.\n\nHow many hours of supervised hours did you need to complete to get your license?\nWhat was the supervision like?\nHow much did you meet with your supervising clinician?\nWhat did you talk about?  How much did you talk about each client?  Was it like 5 minutes per person per week?  More?  How an active of a role did the supervisor take in each case?\n\nI realize that it might be different for those of you who were working with serious cases in clinics or hospitals.  But I'm specifically interested in those who worked at an average private practice.", "post_id": "hqi0z3", "comment_id": "fxysapp"}, {"question": "Well that fact you have dissociative symptoms probably explains it. You're not dementing.", "comment": "Alright so I'm an 18 year old male and got severe anxiety and derealisation (dissociation) after a breakdown 8 months ago (although it's not TOO bad now).\n\n\nAnyways, I was with my girlfriend today going through old photos of us, and she said \"I think you'd look good with purple hair again\", to which I replied \"I haven't had my hair purple before have I?\". Then she said \"yeah we dyed it at your house last September remember?\", then sure enough she showed me several pictures of me with purple hair, so I said \"oh god yeah I remember!\".\n\n\nProblem is, I genuinely don't remember having my hair purple, even though it was only 5 months ago... I don't know if I'm over reacting here but I'm scared I might be losing my memory or something, any help?", "post_id": "5w2f6r", "comment_id": "de719sg"}, {"question": "Very insightful. LSD produces this mindspace. \n\n\"Nothing to get hung about...\"", "comment": "How awesome would it be if we all could think like a 2 year old? Just float around all day without a care in the world and have the ability to just \"let go\" of problems so quickly!\nI think we could all learn how to become better adults by thinking more like our young children as crazy as that may seem.\n\nOur daughter, Annabelle (just like most 2 year olds) can fall flat on her face, while playing around, cry for 5 minutes and then spring right back into whatever it was that she got hurt from in the first place. It's incredible how quickly toddlers can just move forward like this.\n\nEver see a 2 year old holding onto a grudge for longer than a few hours at most? Nope, they become upset, sometimes throw a fit and then it's over. Let's go play.\n\nWe all once felt and acted this same way. I believe that somewhere between the ages of 2 and 21, we learn to think and feel more like \"an adult\". Is that a good thing?\n\nI don't believe so. That's why I aim to let our daughter stay a child as long as possible and as she does start learning about all these new emotions and 'ways of life', I hope to help her retain as much of her creative, toddler mentality as possible!", "post_id": "7at4fs", "comment_id": "dpd7x8c"}, {"question": "if you want the next level and he doesn't, that's a problem", "comment": "Been with my boyfriend for two years as of yesterday. We met at work (still work together) and when we started dating he was going through a divorce. They were not married for very long but they dated and quickly moved in together and then were engaged within a year. Lots of fights about money during their marriage and then she decided to leave him after about two years or so. \n\nFrom our first date, we were basically exclusive and knew it would be something serious. In a lot of ways, his divorce has never impacted us. He has never been distant or seems like he needed space or had insecurities about me because of his ex. He has always told me we were something long term.\n\nHowever, I find that we never discuss the future as it regards to us as a couple. He will either talk about super far off events, like our retirement, or closer events, like a trip a few months out. But we don't talk about moving in or marriage (and to be clear, I don't want to get married right now but I am more using it as an example since it is a pretty commonplace conversation). I have mentioned wanting to live together and he has expressed that it worries him because of his past bad experiences. This was a few months ago. \n\nHis lease will be up soon so instead of badgering him about it I figure I will let him bring it up when it is time for him to decide on signing for another year. But institutionally, I think he will not want to live together. Part of me can see that some of these actions are him being gun shy from the divorce, especially since he had no time on his own after it was over and I want to be supportive of that. I know a lot of people say they are more cautious and move slower in their next relationship. And if it really is just that I could wait another year to live together. \n\nBut another side of me can't help but wonder if I am holding on for something that really has to do with me. I know he loves and cares for me but maybe something in him doesn't want to move forward with me specifically. We already spend five nights a week together and I wonder if he isn't ready to live with me by now, would more time really make a difference? I feel like he did everything for the ex wife-moved her in, married her, moved to another state so she could be with her family, bought her a dog, etc etc and here we are at two years with no real progress. I can't help but to take it personally and I am not sure if I should or if I am just being overly sensitive. \n\nDoes this sound like it is something I should worry about or just a guy taking his time after a bad experience? And I know people will tell me to talk to him, and I plan to once he makes his decision about the lease because I feel like that is a good lead in. Right now, I am just looking for some objective opinions. \n\nThank you!", "post_id": "5zcd3h", "comment_id": "dex2mnh"}, {"question": "HbSAb indicates immunity, usually from immunization. A level of 6.4 is not a strong indicator of immunity, though. It might be worth rechecking and possibly re-vaccinating.", "comment": "Female\n\n5'7\n\n220 pounds\n\nCaucasian Canadian  \n\n\n​\n\nI recently went in to get STI/STD testing. The following results came back and I'm waiting for the clinic to open to go talk to someone perhaps but hoping for a little insight to avoid worrying.  \n\n\n**Hepatitis B Immunity -** Hepatitis B Surface Ab \\[HBsAb\\]   \n**Results: 6.4**  \n\n\n**Hepatitis B -** Hepatitis B Surface Ag \\[HBsAg\\]   \n**Results: NOT DETECTED**  \n\n\n**Hepatitis C -** Hepatitis C Ab  \n**Results: NOT DETECTED**  \n\n\nDoes this means I don't have it, but am immune to it? I've been trying to look up what the 6.4 means but haven't been having much luck in fully understanding.   \n\n\nThanks! :)  \n", "post_id": "9pj1jo", "comment_id": "e821y99"}, {"question": "I wouldn't recommend thermogenic to anyone. \n\nHave you tried combining your diet with exercise? Is there room to further decrease calorie intake? How fast do you want to lose weight?", "comment": "25F, 5\u20198, ~225, ADHD and chronic anxiety, 10mg adderall qd, 7.5 burpirone bid.\n\nI\u2019ve lost over 40 pounds and my diet pretty good. Veggies, lean proteins, good carbs.\n\nI\u2019m at a standstill with my weight loss and want to help it out a bit. Would a thermogenic be alright to take?", "post_id": "f7z2bv", "comment_id": "fihh3we"}, {"question": "This is the paragraph that sold me on the rest of the book. I was blown away that they described me in a way I couldn\u2019t even articulate to others. Unbelievable how spot on this was for me. Story of my drinking summed up right there", "comment": "Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks\u2014drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.", "post_id": "d972bu", "comment_id": "f1g3ccl"}, {"question": "It seems she's not real together and I would be careful. She's dependent on you for your  roof, but her emotions might not be totally on board.", "comment": "i'll start with just factoids so I don't get emotional too soon.\n\n* Met a young(er) woman like 6 months ago at a new year's eve party, hit it off, made out a little, cool\n* Started seeing each other more and more, *new love*, things were great, sex was wonderful/romantic/etc\n* More we talked the more we had in common; politics are similar; both divorced; no kids; both hippie-ish\n* She's been staying with various friends and family for free for the last couple years since she went broke (?)\n* She started staying at my place more and more so now she just about lives with me in my dinky house\n* We are exclusive, like we don't see anyone else\n* I'm pretty average, nothing way negative or I guess positive. Not rich, not a man-beast. \n* I work 2nd shift, she doesn't work, isn't looking for a job, and says she's hardly worked at all in the last couple years (?)\n* She's at my house about 150-160 hours out of 168 in a week, dickin' around playing video games and watching tv, argh\n* She doesn't chip in for anything like food or utilities. She pays for her cigarettes, going out to bars/restaurants, car expenses\n* Tbh sex is still wonderful, though less frequent, and we're not as googly-lovey-dovey now.\n* I've met a few of her friends and vice-versa. We have a few acquaintances and facebook-friends in common but our friend-circles don't overlap\n* She is easily set off by small stuff like me turning off the lights not knowing she wasn't ready to go to bed, which upset her  \n\nOK then. I'm pretty traditional/loyal/etc in dating, so imo we ough to or might generally do stuff together, like go to parties and bars/music together, etc, or at least extend the invitation. Last week I was invited to a birthday/cocktaily party and invited her, she declined cuz she had other plans, which is cool.  \n\nLast week she told me she'd been invited to a cookout this weekend. I HATE passive-aggressive behavior but being tired of this arrangement, I wanted to see if she was going to invite me to the cookout. She didn't, so she's there now and I'm on reddit like a twerp.  \n\nI know people should set expectations in relationships. Talk things out etc. I can't figure out -  \n\na. If you're dating someone exclusively wouldn't you invite your 'SO' to like parties etc? Seems like a given to me, am I a douche?  \n\nb. Am I being \"catfished in person\" ?  \n\nc. What is going ON? ", "post_id": "6drm6w", "comment_id": "di4vh8p"}, {"question": "Try therapy", "comment": "I'm a 20 year old male, and everyday of my life I wake up with my heart going the speed of light for no particular reason. I have taken Xanax, cymbalta and a few others. I just want to get away from these and live a day, without having to drug myself up to get through  it. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know, I am tired of living like this. ", "post_id": "xasj1", "comment_id": "c5lwif9"}, {"question": "Hi, what about a school counselor? Would they take your feelings seriously? ", "comment": "I don't know what to say, I'm trying to avoid a wall of text because then I'll just ramble on about nonsense. I'm 17, overweight, ugly, used to be an honors student, then I don't know what happened. I barely have any friends outside of school, never kissed a girl, I find little to no enjoyment out of activities I loved, and everything about my life just sucks, is getting worse, and I'm tired of it.\n\nLately it feels like almost everyday I just think about being dead, what would it be like, would the pain go away, would anyone miss me, would anyone be happy I was gone...I want to die, I don't want to continue living, they say there's light at the end of the tunnel, but it feels like I walked right into a dead end in a cave. \n\nI keep asking my mom to take me to a psychiatrist, but she just plays it off, says I'm an ungrateful teenager, medication won't help you. I just want to die, I feel like one day I'm going to just throw myself in front of a bus, that way maybe people will think it was an accident.", "post_id": "28njh9", "comment_id": "ciclp5w"}, {"question": "I guess he's not the male version of you because you're a good person and he's a piece of shit.", "comment": "So I was visiting my home country and I met this guy a week ago and he was amazing, he is basically the male version of me (like the exact same person...it's super weird). Anyways we met each other yesterday once more since he was traveling later on that day abroad and we made out. He wanted to go further and have sex but I refused. Today I found out though a Fb post that he was still with his girlfriend....and that he traveled with her, which by all means is totally messed up. He never talked about her, mentioned her or even told me she was traveling with him. I'm super pissed cause I would NEVER cheat on my partner and I don't know how to deal with this like should I tell her? Or even confront him about it? Like I get he told me he would get serious with me (pff yeah right, all bs) but you don't pull bs like that hours away from your flight WITH YOUR GF. ", "post_id": "6n40tq", "comment_id": "dk6kux5"}, {"question": "for me i have to question every thought and feeling and most ofthe time, my initial thought or feeling is wrong in some way. i mean not wrong, but the consequences of those thoughts or feelings tends to breed more negativity for myself and others. so i try to let it all go. the best thing is you discover you really are in control of your emotions, maybe not how you feel them but what you can do with them", "comment": "Having BPD confuses me 24/7. I am just constantly confused about my feelings towards everything. I don't know if the \"amount\" of my sad, irritated, frustrated, or angry feelings are normal or over the top. I know we all feel things on a much more intense level, but what if sometimes it's the same with someone WITHOUT BPD? How am I supposed to know what's the usual or healthy amount of negativity that balanced/mindful people feel towards something?\n\n\nHere's the thing. I've recently learned not to show aggression or hostility towards others, so no one would really be able to tell how I'm feeling. I don't lash out or express my sadness (kind of raised to not show negative emotions too). However, behavioral reaction or not, feelings can still be irrational. \n\n\nHere's an example of what I mean:  Maybe someone you know and like isn't treating you so kindly. Maybe they're just fine but YOU don't think they are treating you well and YOU are being the irrational one. How do you know if you are just being too sensitive or if they are actually in the wrong???\n\n\nI also often get lost in my own thoughts a lot. This is what it truly must feel like to have a personality disorder. I don't know who my consistent self is and although people see me as normal on the outside, my mind is so jumbled that I just spend too much time doing nothing.\n\n\nedit: Thank you all so much for your responses! To those of you going through the same thing, I hope that eventually we can achieve some sort of consistency and grasp on the way we feel about things. To those that offered support and/or advice, I appreciate it so much and am thankful. =)", "post_id": "2is20b", "comment_id": "cl5nph0"}, {"question": "I\u2019m sorry you\u2019ve gone through so much. I can relate in a lot of ways. It sounds like you\u2019re about to fall into your pattern of cutting people off, yet you\u2019re wondering if this is the best idea. It may be something to consider (I\u2019ve had to do this myself), is to decide if you can back away some from her while still having connection. Don\u2019t see her as someone who you can be vulnerable and real with and see her as someone to chat with for fun. She had shown she is not worthy of knowing the deep stuff and is causing you more pain for not being that person. So best thing is to stop trying to make her that person who she can never be. Distance yourself and maybe if you haven\u2019t already find a therapist to be the one you can trust with your deep stuff and who to process the trauma with. You deserve good friends and it\u2019s hard to be able to get out and find them when your past is affecting your present and future. It\u2019s ok not to have a lot of friends that you see all the time, or much at all. But they still need to show up for you when you need them even if it\u2019s just over FaceTime. \n\nAlso set your boundaries of what you\u2019ll put up with from A. If she is using you for free therapy when she needs it but not being willing to listen to you, stop giving her the free listening sessions. Listen for a bit (because you\u2019re a good person and it would probably feel bad to cut her right off...me too). Tell her you\u2019re sorry she\u2019s going through a hard time and say you have to go. If she is a jerk about you pulling back and setting boundaries then I think you\u2019ll feel more justified and ready to sever the ties completely. You gave her a trial run as a more distant friend but the toxic was just still too much.  Also know that it\u2019s ok to put grow people from out past. Especially ones that aren\u2019t adding to our future and who don\u2019t seem like great friends.", "comment": "I(f 19) met my best friend who I\u2019ll call A(f 18) in sixth grade halfway through the year when I was new and I was the only student who didn\u2019t know anyone, and she approached me to be partners on a project. I\u2019ve known her since I was 11 and she knows more about me than anybody else except for some severe childhood trauma I\u2019ve only told a past boyfriend about, because I feel uncomfortable being completely emotionally vulnerable with her for reasons I\u2019ll elaborate on. Later on (skip to next paragraph if you don\u2019t want to read a long backstory) when we were 14/15 a new girl I\u2019ll call C became friends with me and joined our friend group. We were somewhat close at first but later C began trying to bullying me, possibly because she perceived me to be \u201ctoo nice\u201d to really do anything about it. I say \u201ctrying to\u201d because I would always fight back, verbally or physically, because I dealt with too much at home and didn\u2019t want to tolerate being disrespected at my only escape as well, especially in front of my peers. It was stupid stuff like constantly picking on me, insulting me, saying racist things about me (I\u2019m South Asian), tying my shoelaces together in a huge knot when I wasn\u2019t paying attention, taking my new white shoes without permission and completely ruining them in mud, and physical things sometimes too. One time at gym in the bleachers I was sitting alone and she started putting her shoes all over my head and kicking me in the head hard. I asked her to stop but she wouldn\u2019t and the girl she was talking to was laughing because others just saw it as friends messing around and we were stupid middle schoolers. At the moment it got to me because as a kid facing  abuse at home by a family that was supposed to love me and being mistreated at school by a friend who was supposed to support me at the same time, it made me feel like I somehow must deserve it. And I just sat there and let her keep kicking me while holding back tears and I didn\u2019t talk to anyone for the rest of the day. My best friend from before, A, stood by C\u2019s side and just watched the way she treated me and joined in sometimes, although never physically, but no matter what I was always in the wrong. The rest of my friends stood by my side when our friend group split up but I still felt hurt and betrayed, and A would tell C everything I said about her. I didn\u2019t understand why she wanted her approval so much and when we argued over text about what happened she would ignore her wrongs and tell me \u201cyou\u2019re acting like you\u2019re an angel who does no wrong\u201d. We sort of drifted apart after that but still remained friends and went to different high schools. One of the girls who stood by my side went to my school, and thankfully we were very close friends because we didn\u2019t know anyone else. We were so tight-knit we spent almost every hour together and would text all day into the night. She was one of the only people who understood how bad things were for me and would empathize with me which made me feel even closer to her. However out of the blue she told me we shouldn\u2019t be friends after getting distant for a couple weeks without much explanation. We still had classes together but we would ignore each other and it seemed like she would completely avoid me. I basically had no other friends and I would be alone all the time while trying to act like I wasn\u2019t, by doing work in the library during lunch or hiding in bathroom stalls during lunch so I wouldn\u2019t be seen alone. I\u2019m germaphobic but my social anxiety and shame was so bad I did this virtually the rest of the three years of high school. I\u2019ve dealt with trauma by isolating myself since I was about 7 years old. She moved away to her home state mid freshman year and has contacted me and A a few more times but always seems to get angry at A over something small and cuts us off suddenly again. I included this backstory to show A\u2019s past actions, because although we were younger it wasn\u2019t long ago and I would never do the same to anyone let alone a best friend, and show that I have a history of isolating myself and being alone.\n\nNow in modern day, I have more friends but I rarely hang out with any of them except A and my other guy best friend, although that only happens a couple times a year. Me and A FaceTime every day, often multiple times a day, and text and send each other things on social media pretty much all day. She has a habit of being sort of self-centered and goes on for hours about menial things about herself, when I feel like she would never show the same interest if I did the same. She sometimes seems overly self-absorbed to me to the point where she doesn\u2019t care much about others. The fact that we hang out maybe a couple times a year hurts my feelings when she calls me her best friend even though she\u2019s the only one who has a car and she lives about 15 minutes away. She has other friends she sees all the time, almost every day, and she\u2019s driven 3 hours multiple times for a guy she had just met on tinder who ghosted her 2 months in. When she\u2019s close to my house she doesn\u2019t let me know unless I happen to ask what she\u2019s up to at the time, even like 2 minutes away. It feels like she doesn\u2019t want to me see me, and a couple days ago probably without thinking, when talking about a guy she felt wasn\u2019t giving her enough attention she said \u201cpersonally unless I don\u2019t like the person I want to see them in person\u201d and later probably realized what she said and started acting weird and trying to explain. I act like I don\u2019t notice or brush these things off but they always stick in my mind. Recently when we\u2019ve seen each other in person it\u2019s been weird and she seems more withdrawn and quiet while I try to talk more and make her feel comfortable she\u2019s on her phone a lot and seems scared to say things up-front to me or maybe even hiding something, which may have been because we hadn\u2019t seen each other in person for a long time but it seemed like things didn\u2019t \u201cflow\u201d like they used to and it absolutely broke my heart. Over FaceTime things seem completely normal though and we talk for hours a day and it seems like we\u2019re so close we can read each other\u2019s mind all the time. A few weeks ago she was hanging out with new friends ( she has a lott more friends than me and we both know this) almost every day and she wasn\u2019t talking to me a lot at that time. I didn\u2019t mind because I\u2019m not the clingy type whatsoever but I went through a break-up in that time. When she would cry and go on for hours for months about guys I would always listen and support her because I just want the best for her. I\u2019m hardly emotionally open or talk about myself but the one time I was expressing sadness and vulnerability about a guy she seemed annoyed and started immediately getting short with her responses, and then went off on me in a paragraph. I was being reasonable and had hardly talked about him. I sent another text about how I couldn\u2019t get out of my head that the break-up was my fault and she ignored it, instead sending me 3 tweets on twitter attacking my favorite artist, which I thought was random and petty. She never responded to my text and instead we got into a stupid text argument about the artist, and ended up not talking for over a week. She would still send me tweets at first but eventually stopped, because I wouldn\u2019t respond as she was ignoring my texts. I feel as if she doesn\u2019t send me these things because she wants me to see them but because she just wants someone to send them to. She never responded to my text but would hang out with those friends every day. It was then that I started seriously thinking I should cut off my friendship with her because I could never be emotionally vulnerable without her getting angry for no reason, when 90% of the things she talks about is boys, whose approval she cares so much about even when they\u2019re losers who aren\u2019t serious about her and treat her like trash. She called me a few times over FaceTime a few days but I didn\u2019t pick up as I was planning how I would break things off with her, although the idea made me nervous I felt like I had no other choice. But when I finally picked up planning to do it with my heart racing  over a week later she was acting all cute and silly and we were just being normal friends and I couldn\u2019t bring myself to do it. Last year when I had a 2 year relationship end after I was cheated on she was hardly sympathetic and instead got annoyed when I called her heartbroken to tell her, and began getting distant when I tried to talk to her about it at the time too. I have no friends I talk to that much and she does most of the initiating in the relationship now because all I can think about are these things and contemplating ending things with her has been heavy on my mind. At the same time I never feel sure I\u2019m making the right decision, and if feels huge because most of my social interaction is with her, and I have so much trauma it affects how I think about everyone and how I perceive the way they think about me, and I have horrible trust issues to the point where I never believe anyone is doing anything to be truly nice to me. I think I love her but I definitely do not trust her after everything, and at the same time I\u2019m scared to be that alone. My mom loves her and tells me to always stay friends with her, but she doesn\u2019t know a fraction of the situation. I\u2019ve been thinking about cutting A out of my life on and off for months now but I can never bring myself to really do it. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll feel more whole and content with or without her but I can imagine it both ways. I want to know if it\u2019s the right decision or not. Sorry about the long post.\n\nTl;dr: my best friend since almost 10 years old sided with my bully in middle school, hardly hangs out with me, and doesn\u2019t empathize with me when I\u2019m going through rough situations but I\u2019m not sure if I should cut her off.\n\nEdit: I think another potentially important detail to add is that I feel more comfortable telling guys I\u2019m in short-lived situationships with about things I\u2019ve faced like childhood and adult sexual abuse/assault, self-harm habits, depression, C-PTSD and suicide attempts I\u2019ve been through when I\u2019ve never told A about these things and the thought of doing so makes me uncomfortable, although I\u2019m not sure whether this is due to her actions or my own trust issues and fear of changing/ruining our relationship.", "post_id": "hsrirc", "comment_id": "fyc93oz"}, {"question": "Thanks all for the feedback. Like I said, I\u2019m pretty new, and now that I think about it, this is the first time I\u2019ve had to stay at a hotel since my injury. At least I know going forward! \n\n(I also appreciate the hope that they have some turd sandwiches \ud83d\ude02 they were all around pretty shitty in their response, which didn\u2019t help as I was already feeling pretty stupid.)", "comment": "Hi all,\nI\u2019m hoping it\u2019s ok to ask these questions here. Short background: I have a moderate physical disability that makes using stairs painful, exhausting, and at times impossible. I reserved a room at hotel after seeing some rooms labeled \u201csecond floor\u201d on the website, and others without label. I maybe stupidly assumed the non-labeled rooms were first floor. It turned out to be a second floor room and there was no elevator. i returned to the check in area when I realized this to request a refund, but no one was there and no one returned for 45 minutes. I left after 45 minutes, leaving a VM on the hotel\u2019s phone # and also sending them and email. In both, I explained the situation and why I left, and requested a refund since I couldn\u2019t access the room. They emailed back about 12 hours later and denied my request. Should I push back? Are they required to note that a room is entirely handicap inaccessible (second floor, no elevator) in advertising or during booking? Are they just kind of assholes but within their legal rights? What would you do? \nI am somewhat newly disabled and have never encountered anything like this.", "post_id": "caf6f5", "comment_id": "et8ew7r"}, {"question": "hard to walk on eggshells long term. if she asks, she has to own up to your answer.", "comment": "So the girl I've been seeing for around 5 months now has insecurities about a bunch of things, her weight, appearance in general, and 'being annoying'. I understand people have insecurities, but I feel like I can't be honest with her about these things in order to avoid hurting her feelings, and I'm not sure if this is okay.\n\nFor example, she has asked me \"do I talk too much?\" and when I responded with something like \"I feel like sometimes you get side tracked in your stories and it gets a bit long.\" She got very upset. \n\nShe has also asked me if I would prefer her if she was skinny (she is over weight), I responded stupidly by saying that 'she wasn't my ideal weight'. She instantly cried and the next day was super depressed (not sure if related or not but I think so). The only reason I said this is because she said she wouldn't date fat people, so I thought that it would be okay for me to say I prefer skinny people as well... I like her for other reasons other than her weight, like we share a lot of interests, and if we are talking physically, I think she has a gorgeous face. I don't mind her weight, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be more attracted to her if she was skinny. \n\n\nI've brought this up with her and she says that she doesn't want me to feel like I have to walk on egg shells, but she would appreciate if I was sensitive to her insecurities. I think it's good to be sensitive to peoples insecurities, but it feels weird to lie. Today she asked me if she thinks that she over eats and I just said no (which is a lie). She doesn't eat a lot, but I think for her height she could stand to eat a bit less. I know she really wants to lose weight so it feels weird lying to her about that, I'm actually steering her away from her goal.\n\ntl;dr is it okay to lie to a partner in order to avoid hurting their feelings about their insecurities? how much is okay if so? is this bad for a relationship? \n", "post_id": "6x4agr", "comment_id": "dmczqo2"}, {"question": "be natural as if you were anywhere. your good intuition will guide you.", "comment": "A friend of mine is a refugee. His application for asylum got denied and he turned suicidal from desperation and ended up in a local psych ward. I'll visit him today, but I really don't know what to say to him. I've talked to a few people I know, who have more knowledge on the legal side of things, but they said there's nothing I could do. So basically, my friend is suicidal because he has to go back to a warzone, he has no family left and none of his friends here can help him. I need advice because I don't know what to say, but I really want to be there for him in his desperation. I have pretty horrible social skills as well, so that's great,  too... \n\nTLDR friend will be forced to return to his homecountry, turned suicidal because of it,  I want to help but don't know how.  ", "post_id": "6wcgz0", "comment_id": "dm6yqj8"}, {"question": "Therapist here. Sorry to hijack for a second here OP, but I have something things that need to be said before I address your question. \n\nFirst, I need to address my fellow therapists commenting on this thread - I\u2019m shocked that it appears to be common practice for some to terminate a client post suicide attempt. How in the world is that ethical? Are you referring to a higher LOC and then terminating? Are you ensuring the ct is actually engaged in that LOC before you terminate? Do you resume with the ct once they have stabilized? The idea that you would close services when the ct is clearly in distress and in need of support is mind boggling. Frankly, it could be seen as client abandonment, which is a violation of professional ethics for the NASW, APA and ACA. All ethical codes also discuss appropriate termination, and there is no language that even suggests that it is appropriate to terminate if a ct temporarily requires a higher LOC. So...yikes guys. Big yikes. \n\nAlright, OP - to a therapist, a suicide attempt is an indication that the services a client is currently receiving are not enough. A person who is actively suicidal, or has had a recent suicide attempt, needs more support than one hour a week can provide. I would generally advocate for a short term stay at a crisis stabilization unit post suicide attempt, even if the client didn\u2019t meet hospital level of care. But yes, the overarching goal is to have more eyes on my at-risk client, as well as additional support/services. Not only would my license be at risk if I didn\u2019t take some kind of action, but I also probably wouldn\u2019t be able to continue in this profession if I lost a client to suicide knowing that I didn\u2019t take all the steps I could to keep them safe. We are human, we care, we worry, and yes, we cover our asses. It\u2019s all of those things. \n\nI would encourage you to talk to your therapist about finding a different form of additional support if this particular group doesn\u2019t work for you. I think for the time being you will have to accept that he will insist on some type additional support, and hopefully understand why he is doing this. However, I think it\u2019s perfectly reasonable to research other types of treatment that would provide a comparable level of support as the DBT group and bring these to your next session to see what he thinks.\nIn the end, remember that this is temporary. If you continue to stabilize, your therapist will eventually feel comfortable in returning to the previous level of care.", "comment": "So around a month ago I overdosed, NOT to die or to hurt myself, but just because I was having a meltdown and felt I needed to be hospitalized. I took myself to the ER and didnt end up getting hospitalized. \n\nSince that happened, my therapist insists that I need a higher level of care and is making me do a dbt group. If I dont do that group, I am not allowed to see him anymore. \nI dont feel the group is best for me, because group settings upset me so so much, I always end up having a meltdown, and I feel like it would do more harm than good. Despite this I would still be will to do a group only if I could keep it separate and not have the therapists talk - but that is not an option. \n\nIm pretty frustrated because I feel like he is only forcing me into this group in cover his ass in case I hurt myself - which I am not going to. Im doing better than I ever have. I have no suicidal thoughts, Im enrolled in school for the first time in a long time, I have a job, I volunteer, all that good stuff. Im trying to get him to compromise with me, but he will not budge. I understand his perspective, but I feel like he doesnt 100% understand mine (I can go into detail of why I dont want this group if anyone wants). As as therapist what would you do in this situation? \n\nIve been seeing him for a year, hes really the only person in my life that I can trust and talk to. Just the thought of getting a new therapist upsets me.", "post_id": "c5yc6p", "comment_id": "es6tdpf"}, {"question": "the key to online dating is this: it only takes one.  and you might talk to hundreds of people before the one. don't sweat it. be yourself. be patient.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "6pk7ss", "comment_id": "dkq2tjd"}, {"question": "Do you know which mental health hospital you would like to go to?  If so, do they have transportation/ know of transportation?  Do you have a hotline in the UK where you can call just to talk to someone?  I know this is a lot of questions but, depending on how it works in the UK perhaps your insurance will cover some therapy sessions?  Hang in there. ", "comment": "I live alone in the UK. I don't know what to do. My anxiety has got to the point I can barely leave my bed. I'm lonely and can't even begin to think about getting therapy, and don't have the money for private services.\n\nI feel it's time to go to a mental health hospital, but I don't know what to do. Do I call an ambulance?", "post_id": "2sbbz8", "comment_id": "cnnx4qe"}, {"question": "Great post! And here's another fun thing to keep in mind: physical symptoms of anxiety tend to mimic the symptoms that you're **most afraid of.** Why? Because those sensations are more likely to get flagged as \"DANGER\" by your brain, which increases the likelihood of generating more anxiety, which leads to more intense physical sensations. Anxiety symptoms that are *uncomfortable* but not *frightening* are more likely to get flagged as \"not dangerous\", which leads to them dissipating over time without escalating your fear response. \n\nFor example: my first panic attack started when I had really intense, uncomfortable feelings in my throat after smoking pot for the first time. Why? Because I had asthma when I was a kid. My brain interpreted the feelings in my throat as dangerous - \"your asthma has come back after 20 years to finish you off!\" - which caused me to panic and experience increasingly intense anxiety sensations. In reality, I was totally safe: I had no difficulty breathing. I just needed to drink some water and watch TV until the panic attack passed. I also would have been fine if I had gotten dizzy or had a pounding heart, because those sensations don't scare me. But other people might interpret heart palpitations as a sign that they're going to have a heart attack! \n\nKeep this in mind, because your anxiety symptoms will change based on whatever health issue you're scared about. Health anxiety is an asshole. Once you figure out its tricks, however, it becomes easier to know when to ignore it.", "comment": "Hi y'all! I don't know if this has been posted here before, but I just came across by far the most comprehensive list of the physical symptoms of anxiety I've ever found. You can find it at [this link](https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety-guide/symptoms) and then scroll down the page (anchor links don't seem to be working right for me, but just scroll and you'll find the symptoms). This apparently lists 241 unique symptoms of anxiety. The next time you're thinking \"could anxiety really be causing this?\" look here. Chances are, yes.\n\nMy favorite thing about this is the quote from the very bottom of the page:\n\n\"Anxiety really can seem to cause almost every symptom imaginable, because it does. It mimics health conditions. It can make you so sensitive to how you feel that normal perceptions feel abnormal. It can create its own issues \u2013 such as causing acid reflux, which then causes hoarseness or chronic cough.\n\nIn nearly any mental health book, the list of anxiety symptoms is extremely small, and this leads to people developing even more anxiety as they worry that they may have something else \u2013 that something else may be wrong with them.\n\nBut if you talk to people that have anxiety, do research, and learn more about the condition, you will quickly find that there are hundreds of anxiety symptoms out there.\"\n\nHope this helps someone out there! :)\n\nEDIT: I know this could possibly be construed as reinforcement for some folks, but for me it's a good first-destination; when I would google symptoms, instead I'm going to bookmark this, click on it, find my symptom here, and avoid the terrors of Dr. Google.", "post_id": "ejkbmc", "comment_id": "fcytlv9"}, {"question": "When you see huge red flags like these, head for the hills.", "comment": "I've gone on a few dates with this guy (we live in the same state, but a good 5 hour drive apart), and we've been texting every day. He's already driven down to my city to visit me, which is no small commitment. We've had a lot of fun, and our conversations get pretty deep. We share a lot of the same values and dreams for the future. He makes me laugh, and he thinks I'm hilarious. Every morning he greets me with a text telling me how beautiful I am. On our last day together, he told me that he's \"smitten\" with me and \"doesn't want to be with anyone else\" but me. \n\nSo... he's clearly into me, and I do like him, but I just can't match his sentiments right now. One main issue is that I've always been a very independent person, and have never been in a serious relationship. The ideas of commitment and physical intimacy scare me. The other issue is that I'm a bit skeptical of his past. I consider myself a nonjudgmental person, and do my best not to assess people based on who they used to be. Hell, I'm definitely not anything like the person I was at 24, let alone 18. But there are some red flags I can't seem to shake. \n\nFirst, he admitted to me that he used to get in fights quite a bit. He was a pretty big partier, so they were mostly bar fights over pretty dumb stuff. He admits to having a pretty bad temper, but he's trying to get better about controlling it, apparently. Second, he recently broke up with an ex, and still seems very upset about it. He won't tell me what happened between them, which makes me both curious and concerned. Third, and this seems really petty, but I've heard that it can make or break a relationship-- we have unequal levels of education. He went to a trade school, and I have a masters degree. We're in the same career field now, and he has a job that I really respect, so regardless of education we are in the same place. So... I know it shouldn't matter, but what if it does become an issue in the future??\n\nI wouldn't mind so much, but I just don't share his experiences so I feel like I can't relate. I was never a partier, I would never hurt a fly, I come from a pretty stable and loving family, and I don't have any exes-- on bad terms or otherwise. Hell, I've never even had sex with anyone. I know at my age, it's rare to find people without baggage, but it's like... I almost feel bad about having next to none?? I feel like it's an uneven relationship in that regard. \n\nFurthermore, he's far bigger than me. He can swear that he's changed, that he'd never hurt anyone anymore, least of all me, but how easy is it to change, really? If he's been capable of violence in the past, who's to say it won't happen again? To reiterate: It's not me \"trying to change him\" or whatever; it's him that's committed to changing himself. So far, he's never given me any indication that he's anything but kind and gentle, and he seems to treat others with the same respect when we're out together. But I'm not going to be so naive as to think it could never happen. \n\nI feel like I'm being overly judgmental, but I don't want to commit to this guy and then wind up getting hurt, or worse, hurting him when I can't live up to my emotional end of things because I don't fully trust him. \n\nI'd appreciate any thoughts/advice on the matter. Thanks!", "post_id": "6hs2zn", "comment_id": "dj0ubcq"}, {"question": "How long have you been in therapy with him?  If it's not long, I'd say give it some time or at the very least, ask him what work the two of you need to do in order to tackle the depression piece and gauge what you think you need to do from there.  \n\n\nAs a therapist, I've had countless clients come in and try to just dump out everything they've been holding in way too early (sometimes during the first session).  Whenever I can, I try to get them to hold up, and explain to them that while I understand this is all really important to them and we WILL get to it, there are some things we need to do first.  \n\n\nI need to make sure that they have a good set of healthy coping skills in order to manage feelings that come up while we're processing this stuff.  It's not uncommon to initially feel worse immediately after leaving a therapy session, especially when you've gotten in to some deep stuff.  It's important for me to know that the client will be able to cope with these feelings.  Next, it's important that we actually have a relationship, that they see me as a person, and more importantly, see me as a person they can trust based off of more than just the fact that I'm a therapist.  \n\n\nIf you've only been in therapy with him for a month or so, I'd say give it some more time, but like I said, ask him when and how he'll be ready to address this and under what circumstances.  He owes it to you to be honest.  Whatever his answer is, you can use that to decide if you want to find a new therapist.  Keep in mind, what your impulses tell you that you want are not always in line with what you need or what would be best for you.  In the end, trust whatever decision you make, but only after giving it careful consideration.", "comment": "Hi guys! My therapist (an expert in panic disorders) says he's reluctant to get started on the \"hard stuff\" in therapy because he's worried I'll become suicidal. I have a history of PTSD and depression/anxiety, but for the last month or so it's been much better and I'm feeling ready to get to work! It almost seems like he is afraid of my depression, or maybe is he out of his depth? Should I look for a new therapist? What do you think?? \n\nThanks so much!", "post_id": "bgk22g", "comment_id": "ellfki2"}, {"question": "Yeah it's hard. That's something I wish I could communicate to my ex, I did that often in our relationship when I was uncomfortable. I think it's just dissociation", "comment": "Usually when you feel uncomfortable? \n\nI don\u2019t know why I do this\nI don\u2019t know how to stop it \nIt\u2019s like I just become catatonic when I\u2019m in the presence of my FP because I\u2019m afraid of saying something that might make her feel uncomfortable so then I feel uncomfortable. \nAnd then I spiral down into shame and fear and anxiety. And get lost in my head. And she\u2019s still there... waiting on me to finish the sentence that I\u2019m not sure I can physically force out of my mouth... ", "post_id": "9pftxs", "comment_id": "e81jej0"}, {"question": "We probably need a photo to work this out!\n\nYou're probably OK. And believe me, addicts come in all shapes and sizes.", "comment": "Am currently 15, I've heard a LOT of people say I look stoned all the time. I've never done any drugs before, so I don't know what it would be. I have dark spots from acne under my eye, and also wear contacts so maybe that's it? But I also don't think it is just my eyes that makes ppl think I'm high. \n\n\nthis seems kind of like a funny situation, but can anybody actually help me figure this out? Atm I'm thinking it could be a medical issue?", "post_id": "52o3lp", "comment_id": "d7m9z1k"}, {"question": "Adhesions from a procedure done when you were an infant are unlikely to suddenly start causing pain almost two decades later. If you have Crohn's you probably have a gastroenterologist. What did he/she say?\n\nI would be very careful of exploratory surgery to try to find the source of pain. All too often it finds no source but causes adhesions, and then you have another reason for pain and can end up caught in a cycle of surgeries to repair the damage of the previous surgeries.", "comment": "Age: 18\nSex: F\nHeight: 5\u20192\nWeight: 100lbs\nRace: White\nDuration of complaint: A few months\nLocation: Around my belly button which is my previous surgical site from when I had an ileostomy as an infant\nExisting medical issues: Crohn\u2019s disease, and a pinching/pulling pain in my abdomen (mentioned above)\nCurrent medications: Effexor 150 mg daily.\n\nI\u2019d just like to add that I\u2019ve been to multiple doctors and they\u2019ve all dismissed my pain. I think it could be adhesions from my previous surgery\u2019s as an infant. No one believes it because they can\u2019t actually see them without going in. No one wants to operate on me and I\u2019m at a loss. One doctor mentioned that it looked like my family was \u201cdoctor shopping\u201d which is not the truth at all. We just want an answer so I can have my quality of life back. Can you suggest what it could be or what I can do? I\u2019m lost, and I can\u2019t live like this forever.\n\nThank you, \n            Sydney Toscano \n\n\n", "post_id": "aq1cnb", "comment_id": "egcqo4g"}, {"question": "see a therapist togther", "comment": "Hear me out, this is kinda odd (at least I think). My gf is the most attractive girl that I have ever laid eyes on. I thought that before i started dating her and it remains to this day. She's so sweet and just the most adorable little girl. She's got a 10/10 body and in my, as well as many other's opinions, is easily comparable to that of a supermodel. She has the privates of a porn star. Flawless vagina and ass, hairless tan body, etc. She's like the perfect mental construction of a males sexual fantasy. The point is, she is stunning in both her physical appearance and personality. Sounds like a win win and me just being a fuckin idiot, right? Believe me, Ive considered that and believed it for a few months now that it must be due to my interests or just something within me. As the time passed, my feelings and love for her have remained consistent, and one thing that should be known about me is that I LOVE sex. Anything and Everything about. The thrill and mental understanding of it all is the most addictive feeling Ive ever experienced(and Im quite accustomed to external sources of pleasure/experiences (i.e. drugs). I think about it all the time, and operate in my day to day life with what I refer to as \"sexual obsession.\" Not Sexual addiction. I dont get frustrated or anything negative when I am not immediately satisfied with her, however, my frustration does build and present itself  when I am not physically with her(meaning in her presence). I dont cheat, I dont flirt around. I am loyal and respectful to her as she is to me. To make sure ive gotten my point across about whats on my mental-->Eat, sleep, sex. It is a passion that I drool over. So the question asked then is \"well why dont you spice things up a bit? or why are you with her? etc.(i've heard the questions and tried A LOT). Ive attempted to manipulate my thoughts so that I am able rid myself of this urge but its something embedded in my personality. I love her enough to set my passion aside and work on myself for the sake of our relationship. I am reluctant to let this ruin things but as time goes on and progress isnt seen, it saddens me that this may ruin my love for her.\n\nAlso, she used to be a freak as well before she got on a certain type of birth control. It has undoubtably killed her sex drive. The only way she is reminded that sex is a thing that two lovers can have, is by ME and only ME, initiating sexual contact. She doesn't turn me down rarely ever. And its not like Im trying to have sex or be intimate every waking moment either. What really makes it difficult to be interested is that she is overly concerned and self conscious about her body. So, there is never, and I mean NEVER, a hot moment between us. I can tell that when I initiate sex, it happens because she knows i want to and she cares about what i want. Imagine having sex with someone who you can look at face to face, dick in pussy, and see the facial message interpreted as \"you're doing this because you feel like you have to.\" At the moment of that interpretation, boner=dead, arousal=dead, interest in future interactions=depleting exponentially.\nAnother painful yet accurate example, imagine feeling like you need to ask your partner to do certain things, adjust something or just anything when youre in the act instead of just doing it? after that, then you have to give detailed instructions (everytime) on how or where she should position herself. Of course if she doesnt know, thats fine, but the reason she does it, at least I think, is because she is continually attempting to discourage me from wanting to try and experience the many variations and ways of preforming sex. I have asked her directly, not during sex, if she could just be straight up with me and tell me no, or just to be more firm in resisting my requests, but she plays dumb about. As if it wasn't and hasn't been painfully awkward to have sex in the past.\nIt's not, and hasn't been fun to have sex with her in over a year. To be honest, its mentally taxing. I have to force myself, and tell myself, and coax myself into an erection... and then I have to repeat that process to maintain an erection. There are certain things, positions, acts that would fill the bone instantaneously, however i can tell that it makes her uncomfortable because she doesnt share the same level of sexual curiosity, so therefore we ONLY have sex. Foreplay if its a holiday I guess haha. There were times (before I gave up on eating box) were I would have to beg her to let me...yea idk. But during all of this I feel like the worlds biggest asshole. If i think about that, and acknowledge whats truly going on, it kills my boner. So its like a mental pickle with myself every time we have sex, which is hardly ever now. And thats ok with me that we hardly have sex, even tho I know it shouldn't be. She recently discovered that I am not into her sexually and it has been real shitty as have always expected. Shes still with me and to my understanding still loves me, but I can tell that she feels not good enough for me. And how could she not? your significant other tells you that i dont like having sex with you? of course thats going to hurt her. \n\nIts a very uncomfortable position to be in. Love for her and a life with her, denying my passions and interests, causing my gf immense pain, ruining her self confidence, etc. Its a true shit storm of emotions.\n\nSorry for so much context but I feel it's necessary for legitimate responses.", "post_id": "5kg6jl", "comment_id": "dbnpljp"}, {"question": "contact a women's shelter/agency in your area.", "comment": "I am trapped in my relationship. I'm reaching a breaking point with my boyfriend of 3 years now. He has no respect for me or my life. He makes comments to me about having sex with his best friend (female) and he knows this girl hates me out of jealousy. He tries to turn it around to say I'm jealous of D (not gonna use her real name) and then when I tell him I find it disrespectful for him to make jokes about having sex with other women (that I know), he says a half-assed sorry and tells me I'm moody, then repeats the same \"joke\" later on. And to clarify, I never joke with him about having sex with other men. If I see an attractive man, I don't make a point to tell him to make him pissed off. But he has no problem doing this to me.\n\nThe other day, he came home from work to find I hadn't made him dinner. He went off on my all \"blah, blah, you don't care about me and I take care of you\" and i finally found the courage to say to him, \"well, maybe if you showed some respect towards me I'd be happy to make you dinner\" I already do his dishes and clean his room. He dismissed me as being \"moody and PMSing\" \n\n If I leave my boyfriend, it means living with my mom, who is just as emotionally abusive as my boyfriend, and finds x reasons to criticize me, gets angry at me for my anxiety disorder, makes everything revolve around her own up and down feelings. I've always treated her nice, been considerate of her and she completely takes advantage of my agreeable, caring personality. And just like my boyfriend, she always apologizes for her mistreating me then goes and makes the same mistake again a million times. \n\nI have one year and a half years left till i graduate college. My current job doesnt make enough $ for me to get the hell out of both my boyfriends or mom's home and their toxic personalities. Any advice as I feel like a broken, passive, useless human being right now. ", "post_id": "6q4ohd", "comment_id": "dkuhrud"}, {"question": "don't take it personally.  she's going slower than most, which is a good and MATURE thing that many should take a lesson from.", "comment": "So I've been seeing a girl for about a month now. We've gone on about 8 dates and became official about a week ago. She continually tells me I'm cute, handsome, nice, funny etc... she even makes me her \"man crush Monday\" on Facebook. But when I try to have sex she says she still isn't ready. I don't want to pressure her into doing anything but it makes me feel unwanted. Is it normal for someone to wait this long or am I justified in wondering something's wrong?\n\nI'm 23 she's 28", "post_id": "5wswuu", "comment_id": "decr07i"}, {"question": "we don't 'win' people over. we can only be ourselves. people either love us or they don't.", "comment": "So me and my best friend met this girl about 2 years ago and straight away he started doing shit with her, always hooking up etc. They dated for like 6 months then he cheated on her. (mid 2015). She has been in 2 relationships since then and just recently broke up and now single. So my bestfriend just started hooking up with her again last night.\n\nAnyway, she is like my bestfriend, she loves me as a friend but I am so madly in love with her no one has a clue. She knows I care about her and would do anything for her but it hasn't really clicked to her yet because she has been in love with my bestfriend since they met 2 years ago. I am scared they will get into another proper relationship now or in the years to come and it could be permanent.\n\nI really need advice on how to win her over. I am close with her and now that she is single she would defs hookup with me but the fact that she's in love my best friend kills me inside and I want that to stop.\n\nDon't judge me because I am 17, I know what love is like. I have been in love with her since the day I layed eyes on her and haven't stopped thinking about her since then.", "post_id": "5ql8kz", "comment_id": "dd058eu"}, {"question": "I know nothing about DYT, so everything I say is based on Parkinson's, which as you say is not the same.\n\nIn Parkinson's, there is concern that SSRIs can worsen motor symptom, but in all studies I've seen they've either been neutral or had improvement in motor symptoms. SSRIs are also routinely combined with carbidopa-levodopa, so I'm not sure what the worry is. Carbidopa-levodopa is sometimes combined with selegiline, which can be dangerous with SSRIs.\n\nOn top of that, there's also limited evidence that SSRIs help with complicated grief. But there is some, so if you're going to try Zoloft you might as well try a full dose.", "comment": "Age: 32\nGender: FtM\nLocation: USA\nDuration of complaint: 27 years/10 years\nHealth Issues: primary dystonia, CRPS/neuropathy, chronic migraines, IBS, Chiari malformation, Raynaud's syndrome, undiagnosed blood pressure issue (seeing cardio in January), PTSD, complicated grief, vitamin D deficiency \nRx: hyosciamine, gabapentin, sinemet, Zoloft, vitamin D, testosterone \n\nSo I apologize if this isn't appropriate to this forum but it seems the best suited on Reddit. This is a question about being medically complicated. \n\nI have dopa responsive generalized childhood onset dystonia. I am also negative for any of the known DYT genes. I take levodopa-carbidopa extended release three times a day to manage it.  \n\nI am also on a low dose (75 mg) daily for the complicated grief. My psychiatrist doesn't want to go any higher because he is worried about it complicating my levodopa/dystonia situation. \n\nI know DRD is a rare disease and Parkinson's, while closely related, isn't a perfect mirror by any stretch of the imagination. \n\nDo we know if going higher on my Zoloft would cause problems? I know I am wary of playing too much with two neurochemicals at the same time but right now my grief is peaking to the point that my grief therapist suggested pushing myself to a break down (safely at home with friends). I would like a buffer from my pain and honestly don't feel like Zoloft is doing anything. \n\nAlternatively, if SSRIs are dangerous for levodopa patients, are there better medications for us?", "post_id": "a4eag6", "comment_id": "ebdqhjg"}, {"question": "Anxiety is common, including in military communities. It shouldn't harm your career, though admittedly it might differ from country to country.\n\nAnyway, id still advise treatment. [Have a look through this](http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/anxiety,panicandphobias.aspx). I recommend www.moodgym.org for computerised CBT (its free). You might want to think about a trial of antidepressants - you wont have much of a military career if you are debilitated by anxiety anyway.", "comment": "I have had heart palpitations occasionally for several years but within the past few weeks I have had them more consistently. Several times a day and sometimes several times an hour. I don't think I have the associated blurred vision or shortness of breath which I read would be cause for alarm. \n\nI seem to have heightened anxiety but I'm not sure if the anxiety is because of the heart palpitations or if the palpitations are causing the anxiety. I don't drink much caffeine. When I drink alcohol it's occasionally more than I should and I smoke cigarettes when I drink but that's just on weekends. During the week when I refrain from either I still experience this heightened intensity of heart palpitations. \n\nI have been battling anxiety for several years but nothing too debilitating. Sometimes it causes me to have trouble concentrating and other times I'm extremely vigilant in keeping busy and doing my job. I'm not sure if I'm just an overly cerebral person or if I do have some kind of disorder. I have never seen a doctor about it. Recently with the heightened heart palpitations I find myself being fidgety and I catch my self clenching my jaw quite often. \n\nI have read that heart palpitations are quite normal but the increased intensity and consistency of them make me wonder if I need to see a doctor about a possible heart condition or another condition that could be causing them. \n\nWhat advice would you have for me or others experiencing the same? \n\nEdit: FYI. I'm currently active duty military so my thinking behind going to doc is that they will either kill my career or they will just give me ibuprofen and  I will just continue going on undiagnosed. ", "post_id": "57ivox", "comment_id": "d8swiv0"}, {"question": "I would talk to your grandmother first to see if she has made any arrangements for your mother in the event of her passing. Does she have guardianship or power of attorney over your mother? If so, she may have the legal authority to arrange care for your mother. If not, you still have other options. Your mother likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Serious and Persistent Mental Illness (assuming you're in the United States), which opens up many opportunities for support services. Case management, ARMHS, medication management, payee (managing finances), even semi-independent or assisted living can be available to help manage not only her mental illness, but her life in general. She will need a diagnostic assessment from a mental health provider if she has not had one recently (usually in the last year), but they will be able to make appropriate referrals. If your mother has difficulty describing her symptoms and impairments, insist on attending the appointment with her and describe your concerns. She'll have to sign a release of information for you to do so, but it could be well worth it to get the care she needs.\n\nGood luck to you, and please know there are services that can help. Your mother's care does not have to fall solely on you or other family members.  ", "comment": "Preface: I grew up around, but not with my mother until I was about 12 years old. During the 12 years I lived around my mother, I lived with my grandmother. My mom would be in and out of the hospital, or usually out having fun. We did spend some time together though. From 12-18 I had no physical contact with my mom, I lived in a different state, and I was homeless or in fostercare. From 18-22 I went to college in a different state. So from 12-22 years old I rarely saw her, but we communicated every so often on the phone. I moved closer to family after college, my mom doesn't live in this state, but she does visit every few months.\n\nProblem: My mom can't drive, and hasn't tried since she was about 18 years old. My mom has never had a job, and there hasn't been much time in my mom's life that she hasn't lived with my grandmother. My mom still lives with my grandmother to this day. My mom has not planned for the future, and does not do much nowadays other than eat, and sleep. She does not have any money saved up, but she does get government assistance. I am worried about what will happen when my grandmother passes away. I can't spend time with my mom 24/7 like my grandmother does, because I have dreams, and a life of my own. I also am in a career field where I hope to be traveling a lot in the future. Also, part of me feels like I raised myself, and I shouldn't be responsible for my mom for the next 30 years after my grandmother passes. Giving up your adult life is a lot to ask even for someone who was raised by their mom.\n\nI want to talk about my mom all of this, but my uncle has advised me not to. I think this is something she should be aware of in advance, so she has time to plan, and get accustomed to the idea, rather than being hit with my grandmother's death, and the thought of not living with me all at once. My uncle thinks that it won't do anything but make her sad, and she won't plan for the future anyways, and I have to say he is probably right. I'm at a lost for what to do, and I'm feeling real anxiety about it all. My mom is actually pretty smart, and most of the time she is in her right mind. She hasn't had a schizophrenic episode in many years. I'm worried I'll have to give up my life's work to take care of her until she passes, which would kill me inside. I'm hoping reddit can give some advice on this, as I'm lost.\n\nEven now my mother is extremely dependent on me emotionally, and it's going to be exponential once grandmother isn't there. For example she will call me 5 times in a day at times, to talk about nothing in particular, and when I don't answer she calls my GF 10 times in a row. When we are busy and not able to answer she will get sad.\n\ntl;dr: My [24m] schizophrenic mother [48f] has been dependent on my grandmother her whole life, I'm panicking about what will happen when my grandmother passes away.", "post_id": "6kcfi8", "comment_id": "djl341j"}, {"question": "Alcohol impairs judgement the most for those who use it the most.  After a long time of such impairment it takes time for one's power of judgement to become reestablished and this healing is accomplished by being in relationship with people who know you very well.  Because of the shame and secrecy that accompanies addiction, people develop a habit of hiding things about themselves and so don't get the full benefit of relationships with people who have good judgement. This way people in early recovery may choose companions who are unworthy.  Wait until you have developed relationships with people with good judgement and rely on them to help you make important decisions.  Who you choose as a life partner starts as a first date and that decision is one of the most important of your life.", "comment": "Dealing with a breakup. So THIS is why you shouldn't date early in sobriety. Still not drinking and don't have any plans to pick up. Just a reminder that those old sayings are old sayings for a reason. \n\nUPDATE: Wow, thanks for the all of the insights! I should clarify that the breakup is because my SO is moving across the country; we've gotten quite close but she needed to move for work. Maybe that makes it harder.", "post_id": "38nvg7", "comment_id": "crwktgf"}, {"question": "Obligatory comment: go see a qualified OCD specialist. \n\nFeeling less attracted to the preferred gender is common with HOCD, as is compulsive checking for reassurance like looking at porn (gay, straight, lesbian, etc) to confirm or disprove arousal. \n\nHOCD can make people look at others \"differently\" because the sufferer is now looking for confirmation and certainty of arousal. Previously, arousal came naturally and one is not attracted to all people, even \"attractive people\", of their preferred gender, but with HOCD one MUST be aroused, or else. \n\nTry going without watching gay porn and ask yourself whats the worst thing that would happen to you or in your life if you were to actually be gay? This is probably what you are actually afraid of and avoiding. ", "comment": "I AM NOT ASKING FOR DIAGNOSIS! I AM JUST ASKING FOR OPINIONS ON THIS SUBJECT!\n\nI am quite scared that i am a lesbian. I don't want to be. But, since really questioning my sexuality, I don't seem to look at men the same way I used to. Why is this? Is it because I am a lesbian? Last night I was watching gay porn (like I always do) to convince myself that I liked men, the man in it was GORGEOUS! His figure was amazing! But, why don't I look at men the same? Does this sound like HOCD?", "post_id": "5jy5wy", "comment_id": "dbjvddn"}, {"question": "I have never been on an antidepressant before Wellbutrin, and I'm currently on week three, as of today actually. Since I'm so unfamiliar with antidepressants its really hard to say how big the changes have been, but I am more in control of my negative thinking than I was before, which also reduced my anxiety a little bit. I still have relapses in my anxiety, but it feels like it occurs less. My girlfriend today said that \"I've noticed you've been more happy the past week or two.\"\n\nBut it had some side effects, as of now the only thing I have is constant dry mouth (so I get bad breath a lot), and occasional headaches. \n\nThere was like a week and a half where I had an excruciating headache almost every day, and sometimes they would last up to like 4-5 hours. Now I get an occasional mild headache, maybe once or twice in the past week. I used to clinch my jaw really hard as well, I'm noticing it less than I was before, but I still think I clinch my jaw because its occasionally sore. Maybe two or three days in, I had a really weird depersonalization trip which made me want to stop using it. I was playing a videogame, and then I just started staring at the TV without doing anything for what felt like 3-4 minutes, it felt like I had tunnel vision just staring at the colors on the TV, my mouth just started hanging open too. Luckily that only happened once, but it made me feel really loopy.\n\nThat's all I can really provide, I don't know how antidepressants normally feel. As far as the energy goes, I noticed I'm not nearly as tired during most of the day (from waking up to about 6pm), but I crash really hard in the evenings (10pm+). Its to the point where I can't sit and watch TV without dozing off.", "comment": "I have taken both Zoloft and celexa in the past. I thought Zoloft made me feel lethargic and groggy. Celexa was decent but I ended up discontinuing it because I thought I could handle my anxiety since I graduated college. I've been off celexa for about 10 months now and am going to talk to my doctor about starting one again. I was thinking about trying. wellbutrin. I am generally somewhat tired all the time the way it is and heard wellbutrin increases energy. Celexa gave me terrible dry mouth and made me put on a few extra pounds. Nothing crazy. Just 5 or so pounds. I've also heard wellbutrin is correlated to weight loss.\nAny input is much appreciated", "post_id": "2oj1s9", "comment_id": "cmoavzv"}, {"question": "I know exactly what you mean! I experience this \"throat nausea\" feeling a lot. I think for me, it's a mix of anxiety and GERD. It really sucks :( Chewing mint gum really helps me when I'm dealing with this!", "comment": "My stomach isn\u2019t the issue. My throat is nauseous if that makes any sense. I don\u2019t want to throw up. I haven\u2019t been around anybody sick, but I just feel sick. Do you think I will throw up? Sorry for the reassurance post. Literally nothing else is wrong, but my my throat is closing it feels like. This has been going on all day. ", "post_id": "77ov54", "comment_id": "donybuj"}, {"question": "2 years ago I went to a weight loss clinic and was on it for about 6 months. I lost close to 40lbs but when I stopped taking it (because of the side effects: jittery/heart palpitations) I gained all that weight back within a year. It worked, but only while I took it because it\u2019s just a stimulant - it didn\u2019t help me change any of my problematic eating behaviors.", "comment": "After failed attempts with Victoza & Metformin, my weight loss doc prescribed phentermine. Originally he was thinking Contrave, but I told him it feels more like my metabolism has stopped dead vs overeating being the reason for hovering around 200lb. However, the fact that phentermine is a stimulant is freaking me out! Has anyone taken it and had a positive experience?", "post_id": "be7q5q", "comment_id": "el3ri3p"}, {"question": "That sounds likely to be an ordering error. Ask the doctor!", "comment": "Hey, I'm a nurse. I had a doctor give me a PRN order for SC gravol. (dimenhyrdinate 50mg PO/SC Q4H PRN) I've never seen it ordered SC before, so I looked it up and couldn't find anything saying that was a route it could be given. I always see IM or IV are parenteral routes. My question is: Is this is a legitimate way to give this drug? And why wouldn't it be? My thought is no, and it wouldn't because it would probably be painful SC(seeing as it has to be diluted IV).\n\nSo let me know.", "post_id": "8jizfh", "comment_id": "dz0d1zw"}, {"question": "I quit smoking pot because I got thirsty for beer when I smoked it and once I started drinking I went out of control. To stop drinking and stay stopped I had to quit pot. It\u2019s been 39 years since I quit  and as far as I can tell I haven\u2019t missed anything.", "comment": "I'm glad this reddit exists, just found it today. Here is my story FWIW\n\nI discovered pot my freshmen year in college. Got high listening to Rush...been a fan ever since. Dont think i would have been a fan without the pot, lol. \n\nSmoked on a regular basis depending on availability between ages 20 and 30. Between 20 and 30 i got married, had a kid, went to lawschool, passed bar and became lawyer. Also had two acute episodes of depression and anxiety and had to go on anti-depressants (each bout was about 6 months on ssri). \n\nDuring this 10 year period, weed was mostly a help, not a hindrance. It helped me cope with lawschool, life demands, long drives, and i took the bar high. It chilled me out which i did need. made me less high strung. As we all know, its a great escape from the drudgery and boredom that is Life. It makes listening to music an euphoric experience and food tastes better. Road trips are so much more fun too. \n\nOf  course, no party lasts forever. Shortly after i began working at my first job as an attorney, I came home and did the usual with my husband-smoke some weed. Had a hard day at work and was looking to unwind.  But for the very first time....i got a panic attack. I thought i was going to die. Heart racing, arms tingling, all the usual shit. \n\nMy weed intake dropped off but i didn't quit. I wouldn't spaz out everytime and it was unpredictable when i would. I recall locking myself in the bathroom and sitting in the bathtub with my then 4 year old banging on the door. Low moment. \n\nI chalked it up to job stress, then bargained with myself that i would only smoke on weekends. That worked...for a while. Then i started getting panic attacks during my weekend smoke time. \n\nThen, i moved to \"just a single hitter\" on the weekend. That was ok, for awhile. Then it wasn't ok. \n\nThe long and short, is that when i was 33, i had mostly quit. Also quit the evening coffee and went down to one cup.  We had the second kid, and my sleep schedule was terrible, my job was terrible and i had been suffering from insomnia and depression. In desperation, i smoked some of my husband's pot in an effort to sleep...and ended up in the parking lot of the emergency room. After that episode, I went on SSRI for a year, and ended up on benzos for 3 years. Haven't smoked since.  Funny enough, when i left that job (after 5.5 years), within 2 weeks i fell alseep without the benzos and have been off them every since...6 years now :)\n\nFor me, the pot stopped being a fun time, an escape, a mood enhancer. It kicked me in the face over and over again. I fondly recall when pot was fun, and its like another lifetime ago. Maybe it will be fun again, who knows, but I'm not willing to try it because the mental angst of those panic attacks were awful. ", "post_id": "8w56uq", "comment_id": "e1twe23"}, {"question": "very sad. surround yourself with people who love you and keep busy doing things you love.", "comment": "Throwaway account.\n\nAbout 3 weeks ago the girl I wanted to marry broke up with me. Reasons given were my mental absence and lack of attention. She isn't wrong. I've felt some unexplained melancholy for a few months, but nothing I ever perceived as relationship-ending.\n\n\nLooking back I realize what I did wrong, but she won't acknowledge that someone my age is capable of change. I've seen her twice and talked to her a few times since the break up and she's been uncharacteristically cold and void of emotion, except for telling me she still loves me and will always care for me, however won't give me another chance.\n\nShe will be traveling out of the country for 3 months tomorrow and there's a good chance I will never see her again unless I try to. I intend to continue the plans we had and also move out of the country soon.\n\nI am completely heartbroken and have no direction to follow right now. I was going to propose in September. My world is shattered and I'm currently incapable of imagining life without her.\n\nThank you for reading, any advice is appreciated.", "post_id": "6i6l87", "comment_id": "dj3tng1"}, {"question": "Hey can\u2019t force you to take a class you don\u2019t want. This is your future to think about too. Don\u2019t be afraid to advocate for yourself. It\u2019s no different than if they put you in calc before you took algebra. You have a right to have a say in your schedule especially if your reason is more than just you don\u2019t feel like it anymore. ", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "7j6n61", "comment_id": "dr4e7j6"}, {"question": "Playing music has always been one of my biggest coping skills.  I play guitar and sing.  It helps with stress and performing live helps me cope with anxiety.  It creates so much anxiety where before I get on stage, it feels like my skeleton's about to jump out of it's skin.  Everything tells me RUN!  Don't do it.  But I push through that and once I'm finally done with the performance, I feel like all the adrenaline and anxiety has drained out of me, at least for a good while.  ", "comment": "If so, feel free to share, I\u2019m interested in what you have to say!\n\nMine is photography. I started taking photos of the most mundane, seemingly boring things in order to take charge of my depression, finding something interesting about them. There was fascination in the patterns of floor tiles, and every animal that passed by outdoors was an interesting creature. It helped me see the beauty of the world. Soon, I was taking more and more photos, and a classmate asked me to photograph her posing against a wall for a school web page! She probably had seen my photos on social media.\n\nHas anyone else turned a coping mechanism into a hobby?", "post_id": "97sb3m", "comment_id": "e4aqfyy"}, {"question": "If you live in the Unites States, there are very strict privacy laws that explicitly bar healthcare providers, including therapists, from disclosing any information without your written approval.\n\nIf your insurance is being billed, they will have a diagnosis, but they also are bound by the privacy laws. ", "comment": "I am in my late 20s and have never sought treatment or counseling for my depression in part because I fear that it will somehow end up on my \"permanent record\" (for lack of a better term) and follow me around for the rest of my life.\n\nWill it?\n\nSpecifically I worry about things like insurance, background checks, ability to get jobs, pilots licence, won't be able to go recreational target shooting, things like that.\n\nWill those kinds of things be affected if I seek treatment?", "post_id": "2en61u", "comment_id": "ck1cxz2"}, {"question": "Yup. Birthday-Day I attempted suicide. Which is not my sobriety date by the way, because that is something subject to change whereas the pain, misery, loneliness and all the rest of that day will never change. I got mine at about 7 months sober. I recommend thinking on it for a while before doing it. ", "comment": "I don't have any tattoos because I've never really had anything in my life that I wanted to put on my body, but I feel having the date I last drank on my body is important so I wanted to get some ideas for a tattoo, sooo post? Thanks a lot", "post_id": "1h0qz1", "comment_id": "capp6mu"}, {"question": "Breathe is a great mindfulness app that has meditation sessions. ", "comment": "Looking for relaxing apps or games for anxiety. Games don\u2019t necessarily have to be for anxiety but one of those games you can hop in and play for 1-5 mins would be fine. Aesthetic visuals and relaxing music would be a plus", "post_id": "9kwf73", "comment_id": "e72a9ql"}, {"question": "This depends 100% on where you live and the license of your therapist. \n\nI could not report this in my jurisdiction,  but some states do require reporting of past abuse , even when the perpetrator is deceased.", "comment": "I just had my first session this week and my therapist asked me if I\u2019ve ever been abused but I was afraid of saying yes. When I was a kid my dad used to beat me. I forgive my dad and he stopped being abusive and angry years ago. I know for a fact he\u2019s not a threat now. The thing is now he has my younger siblings to support and he\u2019s working on getting his citizenship and I don\u2019t want my dad to get into any kind of trouble. But this is something that has affected me mentally my whole life and I feel I might have to bring it up. I wasn\u2019t sure where to ask. Thank you.", "post_id": "hgq4mi", "comment_id": "fw5yrqy"}, {"question": "You've answered your own question.  If you've never asked then the first step is to ask her if she'd like to hang out with you.  ", "comment": "Just as a older sister not a relationship. I wanna talk to her about my problems and go out with her. I\u2019ve never asked her to go out (I don\u2019t want to make awkward). I want her trust me.", "post_id": "8gkde2", "comment_id": "dyceser"}, {"question": "Depending on where you are, there is always community mental health centers in every state in the U.S.  They will often allow you to get therapy and/or medical services for a free or greatly reduced rate. ", "comment": "23 and not on my parents insurance. Wondering if I can just pay out of pocket for everything? I'm also curious if anyone can give me an estimate of the cost to be tested/evaluated?\n\nI have the number of a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, but I am too afraid to call because of lack of insurance. \n\nI'm currently looking for a job that offers health insurance as mine currently doesn't.", "post_id": "3cissu", "comment_id": "csw86g7"}, {"question": "Part of my recovery has been working on developing my identity since ive lived my entire life not knowing who I think I am. I have a few accounts (totally guilty) but I've tried to shy away from them and just use this one. It makes me feel like I'm always the same person and I'm not tempted to try out new sides of myself", "comment": "Er...yeah. So I have multiple accounts so I can vent and no one finds me. I have one that's my main one...and that changes from time to time...(yes, I'm a regular poster here and no, I'm not posting from my main account), I have a couple of alts for when I need to post about people I'm scared are reading what I post...and I even have an alt for use in SOFFA/lovedones where I post as if I were *my* SO so I can see what those people would say about me. In stories I'll change genders/continents/ages/whatever so no one can track me.\n\n\nI know this is ridiculous and I haven't really mentioned it to anyone, but it's something stupid I do.\n\n\nAnyway, I knew someone who was posting here a while ago and I stalked him, but then he quit and I haven't found him since. Except I'm so paranoid that I now imagine he's writing posts I read under his own throwaways and basically doing the same thing I do...man, I'm fucked up.\n\nTell me I'm not the only one??", "post_id": "3hqlh4", "comment_id": "cua1qap"}, {"question": "You are well thought out about this. Try to decide what might make things less hum-drum for you, and talk about it. Or maybe....the pilot light is off. To avoid regret, have a few sessions with a therapist.", "comment": "We met each other 7 years ago when both of us were in college and 22. It started off casually but then we started dating and hanging out all the time. After university, she moved back home and I lived by myself for about 1 year. She would visit me once a month but then ended up moving in with me. After 6 years, she really wanted to get married. Last year everything seemed to be going well, so we bought a house and got married. \n\nI still care for her however lately I've been pretty unhappy, feeling trapped, and wondering if I made the wrong choice. Being about to turn 30 has just made things worse.\n\nA few other things:\n\n* Everything was made worse lately because she wanted to start a family but I felt unsure and it led to a big argument. \n\n* She is extremely dependent on me. Ex: I need to take her everywhere despite her having a car. If she's hungry, she won't buy food instead she will wait for me to drive her somewhere. If we go out on weekend she refuses to drive even if I'm tired. \n\n* We do everything together, and I'm naturally an introverted person who gets my energy from being by myself. There's times when I just want to do my own thing. I realize now that I really miss being single and at times wish I could do whatever I want. \n\n* I always had aspirations of moving around the US and living in different cities, switching jobs, etc, and now I realized that not really possible anymore. \n\n* Sex is always the same thing and I don't get excited anymore. This was made worse when she wanted to start a family, sex started becoming a huge chore. \n\n\nNow i'm wondering what to do? Do I just try to make things work, do I do a complete 180 and pursue something else? I'm planning to talk about all of this with her but I know its going to cause a big argument. ", "post_id": "6qjnzi", "comment_id": "dkxs5bv"}, {"question": "help her find a therapist", "comment": "I've been seeing my current girlfriend for 4 months, I've known that she suffers from depression since before we started to see each other. I've always done my best to try and be there for her, from holding her when she cries to talking about anything she feels like talking about.\nLately it's been taking its toll on me, I've seen my mood change drastically. I tend to be more irritable, and generally sadder. \nWhen I am really looking for is advice on the situation, people's past experiences with a similar experience and general help so I can help her better.\n", "post_id": "5olbxr", "comment_id": "dck8dyi"}, {"question": "This was really informative, so well-written. Thank you for sharing!", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "9q3f3e", "comment_id": "e87voqh"}, {"question": "Well, it's tough to settle down so early. For those reasons.  I don't think it's about love only going so far. It's about what we need in love at different stages of our lives. It's not wrong to want what you want. If she can't deal with it, it's because she's young and afraid of losing you. If you gradually take a little more time doing the things you need to do, she will see over time that your other needs are not a threat.", "comment": "I'm been with my girlfriend for almost two years now, and for most of it, it's been good. But I'm only 18, I feel like if I stay with her I'm going to waste my youth. We see each other everyday, I've never been happy about it because I love being alone to be able to do what I want in my freetime. I've tried bringing it up in the past to her many times that I'd like it if we saw less of each other during the week. It might be the way I say but she usually gets upset and cries. I then back out of it and make an excuse of joking or something along the lines. \n\nI've felt like I've missed out on a lot during this relationship, I don't have much friends anymore. I'm only allowed to go out with her, she will also the final say on whether we go out or not. ( I know this sounds bad but this is one of her scarce bad qualities)\n\nI don't feel like I want to break up, I just wished we spent less time and I had more freedom. I don't want to break up with her to go for other girls, I just want to be with my friends more. But if I told her any of this she'd get mad and cry.\n\nI love her so much and my life would definitely worse off overall with her, but love only goes so far. ", "post_id": "6o4ncm", "comment_id": "dkek79s"}, {"question": "Lol I say things in my head before saying them out loud and this isn't right before. I'm talking for days. Sometimes I screw it up in my head and laugh. I try to explain to my husband but he doesn't get it haha.", "comment": "It happens to me all the time, I'm just walking my dog or something and like have an unimportant thought, and  then I notice I'm having a full conversation with my self about pretty much nothing and I think I saw some post about it here a while back so I wanted to check if it's only me.", "post_id": "b1tj9p", "comment_id": "eiptsdy"}, {"question": "A few thoughts, not particularly in order:\n\nIt's unlikely that your son's fall gave him a traumatic brain injury, and any serious injury would have been picked up in the imaging. Unless the doctors said he had a TBI, he probably didn't. It's a terminology nitpick, but having or not having physical damage to the brain makes a big difference in this history.\n\nAre you absolutely certain that the first time your son fell, *then* had a seizure rather than having a seizure that caused him to collapse? That would be consistent with a seizure disorder and leave out the question of brain injury.\n\nSeizures after any fall aren't normal. Two seizures are definitely not normal, but it's unlikely that a bleed or other traumatic injury was missed. Instead, there's likely a cause. It could be epilepsy, especially if there's a family history (even if it skipped your husband); it could also be something else. Following up with the neurologist is the way to get answers.\n\n​", "comment": "3 year old white male\n45 lbs 42 inches\n\n12 days ago my son fell, hit his face and had a seizure. It lasted about 4 mins and he was unconscious for about 5 afterwards. His lips turned blue during and he had a hard time breathing normally for a couple mins after. Back to normal about 30 mins later. He was life flighted to the nearest cities children's hospital. Ran a CT scan which was clear and blood work came back clear. Observed overnight with an EEG in the morning. Came back with abnormal activity on the left side of brain but said it was expected and sent us home with a follow up appointment with neurology in 3 months.\n\nYesterday (11 days post seizure) he was eating at the dining room table and I was in the kitchen. I heard him making weird noises and went in to check on him. He was leaned back in the chair and drooling. I originally thought he was choking. Picked him up turned him over to start back blows and realized he was breathing the same way he did after his last seizure. I laid him on the floor in the recovery position and called the ambulance again. He didn't become conscious until he was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Around 5 to 10 mins. The seizure couldn't have been more than 1 to 2 mins. If that.  They ran blood work which all came back normal and blood sugar checked in the ambulance normal. He was completely himself about 5 mins after waking up. We got sent home with instructions to call the neurologist in the morning. \n\nI called this morning and the Dr is out of the office but the other neurologists are deciding on if they want us to come down this week or what they want us to do. I don't feel like we're getting much info here and I'm having a hard time not freaking out. My husband has epilepsy in the family but he doesn't have it. My kids haven't shown any signs until last week. Is a 2nd seizure after a fall normal? Is this a sign of a brain bleed that was missed? Should I be insisting on going down to the children's hospital soon? Is there any signs I should be watching for? Or is this just something that happens with a TBI? Any info would be greatly appreciated.", "post_id": "9sj6tt", "comment_id": "e8pdws0"}, {"question": "Just a note that this is VERY controversial in the field currently. \n\nFrom APA Division 12 (Clinical Psych): \n\n\"The theoretical basis for EMDR is that PTSD symptoms result from insufficient processing/integration of sensory, cognitive, and affective elements of the traumatic memory. The bilateral eye movements are proposed to facilitate information processing and integration, allowing clients to fully process traumatic memories. The efficacy of EMDR for PTSD is an extremely controversial subject among researchers, as the available evidence can be interpreted in several ways. On one hand, studies have shown that EMDR produces greater reduction in PTSD symptoms compared to control groups receiving no treatment. On the other hand, the existing methodologically sound research comparing EMDR to exposure therapy without eye movements has found no difference in outcomes. Thus, it appears that while EMDR is effective, the mechanism of change may be exposure \u2013 and the eye movements may be an unnecessary addition. If EMDR is indeed simply exposure therapy with a superfluous addition, it brings to question whether the dissemination of EMDR is beneficial for patients and the field. However, proponents of EMDR insist that it is empirically supported and more efficient than traditional treatments for PTSD. In any case, more concrete, scientific evidence supporting the proposed mechanisms is necessary before the controversy surrounding EMDR will lift.\" https://www.div12.org/treatment/eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing-for-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/\n\nFolks who support EMDR as a MECHANISM (versus as simple exposure therapy that's been re-branded to seem extra fancy) typically either propose that the bilateral movements tax working memory and thus lead to an extra \"distancing\" from the event, that it somehow affects sleep and lets you process while you sleep, or that it grounds folks and helps with mindfulness.", "comment": "I believe edmr stands for Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing\n\nI know edmr is a treatment for trauma that has the therapist do techniques like have the client visually trace the therapist's fingers, etc \n\nCan someone give an explanation for how edmr treats trauma and the psychology/neuroscience behind the treatment?\n\nIt would be interesting to read about a link between eye movement and memories/memory processing.", "post_id": "fp81zw", "comment_id": "flk9cyf"}, {"question": "In a word \u201cSpecialization\u201d. I specialize in postpartum issues and charge about $200 per hour.", "comment": "When compared to typical therapists, what are highly skilled/more experienced therapists better at than a typical therapist, say that warrants charging a higher rate $200 as opposed to $100 hourly?", "post_id": "ffosv5", "comment_id": "fjzxxly"}, {"question": "Always take 'no commitment' seriously. Keeping dating others; if he's ever ready he'll let you know.", "comment": "So I need some advice. I've been really close friends with a girl I met in high school, and during the summer before our senior year, I developed a crush on her older brother.  I didn't tell her until I went on vacation with her and her family (brother included as was her boyfriend) and we both got super drunk and I confessed. She wasn't mad, and me and her brother had a fling for a little over a month. I was clingy, a young hormonal teenage girl and he was 18 and  didn't want a relationship. \nWe stopped seeing each other, but I've held onto some fondness for him over the years, and have continued to be close friends with her and hang out regularly at her house and see him. I never talk about our \"tryst\", but he enlisted in the Marines last December and texted me out of nowhere about a month ago. We text quite often, and we've talked about our so called relationship quite a bit. He doesn't want to settle down because he doesn't think he would be able to with the lifestyle he lives, and i have my doubts whether he could either. \nLong story short, I have very strong feelings for him and need to know, am I wasting my time, and hurting my own heart by talking to him and being this close to him? We have genuine conversations, and he makes me laugh, and I genuinely think he feels something for me. I just don't know if I should force myself to move on and date other people or stick it out and see what happens. \nAny advice would be much appreciated. ", "post_id": "6aw4hv", "comment_id": "dhi8gl1"}, {"question": "I second what everyone said, with one added thought-- document, document, document. Contact a lawyer on the down low and find out what you can do. You don't want to get a divorce only to then end up with your ex getting unsupervised visitation with the kids!  I would find out what the recording laws are where you are (can you legally record when only one person is aware it's being recorded) and get him to talk about what he did with his sister, the child porn on his computer, him seeking out young girls for sex... Etc.  the other thing I would do is take control of the computer-- maybe put a key catcher (records the strokes of what people are typing on the computer) to catch him in the act/on chats, etc....  Then I would also take that computer and keep it as evidence so he can't destroy it.  Make sure you check with your lawyer so you do all this in a legal manner that can't be contested.  Then you'll have all this proof when you go to court to get sole custody of your kids about why he's an unfit parent and shouldn't be allowed near them, EVER.", "comment": "Some backstory: My husband and I have been together for 7.5 years, married for three, have two little boys, and another baby (don't know the sex yet) on the way. He was amazing until we got married, which is when things began to go downhill. He is in the Navy, I stay home with the kids, so he is gone a lot. After we married, I found things on the computer that were disturbing; he had been talking to other women, including his ex, and young girls as young as 13 years old (on dating sites, facebook, craigslist). I didn't know how to react at first because he is the father of my children and I didn't want to put him in jail (for talking to children), I wanted to confront him. He admitted it and admitted he had a problem and agreed to get help. Fast forward a few months, I catch him trying to talk to other Navy wives, he does the same thing and cries and apologizes and blames it on his sexual addiction and he goes into therapy. I don't have a job, and basically am totally dependent on him (I know, big mistake) and my family can not help me or take us in. Yesterday I found out that when he was 13, he had sex with his little sister who was 9 at the time and he continued having sex with her for 6 years. He said he stopped having sex with her once we were together, which I don't know if I believe. His whole family lied and covered it up and his mother never got him help for him but she now says she has only known about it for the past few years. What disturbs me the most is that they kept it a secret and we have children together. My oldest son who is 5, was showing signs of abuse starting at the age of 2 and now I am questioning whether he has done something to our son or not. I don't know what to do, or how to move forward, I am freaking out and I need some honest opinions on what to do...Feel free to ask anything if it would help with any advice. \n\n\nEdit:\nThank you so much everyone, this was very helpful and I feel like I have hope now. ", "post_id": "15uah0", "comment_id": "c7q33hk"}, {"question": "most would not consider this cheating. imo, ldr is not really a relationship. and you never had sex, which makes it less of one.", "comment": "Been together for 3 years.We had a long distance relationship,and never had sex when i visited cause her parents were there.\n\nI couldnt cope with not having sex for so long,and yesterday i got drunk and used it as an excuse to cheat...\n\nHow do i tell her?She will be devastated,and really i don't see this relationship going anywhere anymore,we don't even talk as a couple.But,if i leave her she will be alone,as her social life isn't that great..\n\nAny advice is welcome,and sorry for the formating or any grammar mistakes.", "post_id": "6lssou", "comment_id": "djwbeuz"}, {"question": "that's a very thoughtful, sensitive post. bottom line: you've expressed your sincere genuine concern for her health.  the ball's in her court. nothing else you can do.", "comment": "My girlfriend, I love her to bits. We live together, and have been together for a couple years now. We are terrific in so many ways yet there is one consistent thing that divides us - Her eating habits and lack of physical activity. I've tried to express my concerns, but the few times we've really gotten into it, its resulted in a massive breakdown. I understand that this is a very controversial topic, and I'm not insensitive towards her feelings. I never ask her to 'watch her figure' what to eat or not, or to 'lose weight', I couldn't care less about the number on the scale. I just want her to be capable, have the energy an average person of her age should, and to like what she sees in the mirror, I know some days she doesn't. I cook very often, (breakfast, lunches and dinners) and always try and make sure good options for food are available, yet she eats as much as me - a fellow trying to keep weight on. She is the smallest of the women in her family, and if she is heading down that sort of path, I don't know if I can follow. I couldn't be coming from a better place here, I just want her to be well. I'm worried she is mildly addicted to sugar, or just doesn't believe she can do anything about it so isn't trying. \n\nI'd really appreciate some different viewpoints on the subject, even if you're just telling me I'm insensitive for feeling this way. \n\nEdit: How do I approach talking more about this without it feeling like an attack, or that she isn't good enough for me? The last thing I want is for her to hate her body even more. Anything I suggest -whether it be eating habits or physical activity- I always say I will do it with her, one hundred percent. ", "post_id": "6d5y7v", "comment_id": "di06617"}, {"question": "If you have questions, ask us. We have people here who know what they're talking about.", "comment": "It was - overwhelming.  I'm still trying to work through everything, it wasn't scary and everyone was ridiculously nice.  I was shocked at how big the group was for a 6:30 am meeting. ", "post_id": "1jf318", "comment_id": "cbe3esj"}, {"question": "Conceivably yes, but you're probably more likely to catch an infection from a doorknob, then touching your mouth or eyes or nose or food. The world is full of viruses and bacteria, and skin is very rarely the way diseases get in.", "comment": "Day if someone didn't flush either their number 1 or 2 and it happens to splash up the hole. \n\nAlso if the penis happens to touch the rim or toilet seat where someone is infected with anything, STD, HIV, anything. ", "post_id": "8m1w3t", "comment_id": "dzkqpxv"}, {"question": "Sounds like you have a great system in place that seems to be working for you.  I have a similar one where I outline my main points and then copy and paste journal articles in the areas where I plan to cite them and helps structure the flow of ideas. I also dont like to procrastinate but have a habit of doing that. To help, I do a \"Pacing\" measure to figure out how much i need to complete each day in order to finish on time. For example, a 10 Page paper with 3 weeks to complete means I can complete 1 page a day and have plenty of time to review.  At first I just write what ever comes to mind (ignoring format, syntax or sentence variation)....then I read each section to adjust content and syntax. I find that it is much easier to form and polish ideas when I have something already on the page.  The trick for me is spending \"20 minutes\" a day...as it keeps the stress away", "comment": "So I have no problem brainstorming ideas, and writing up 2000+ word documents of ideas, critique, etc. I guess this is one of the major advantages of having a scattered, ADHD-addled brain. \n\nBut then the dread kicks in when I have to synthesise all of these ideas into a coherent plan that will guide the actual essay. Being a perfectionist, I'm incredibly meticulous with the flow of ideas, structure, etc. So this is my major source of anxiety-induced procrastination, especially when I've already procrastinated the essay to the last minute, which happens well 99.9999% of the time. But I really want to work on avoiding this so I can plan in peace. \n\nAnyway, I've set up a system which works quite well for essay planning. I make a table with three columns: quote/general idea, page number and evaluation/critique. So the ideas basically progress logically down the rows. \n\nThen the scary part: summarising each main perspective for analysis. For this part, I copy and paste relevant information from my table into a word document, and print out the pages, so I have a copy next to me while planning the essay. This avoids scatter. \n\nSo after extracting a shorter summary from each point on the paper next to me, I cross out the quote/idea on the paper to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And if it's a shorter essay, I filter through the blocks of words, leaving only the MOST useful and essential information (which is basically the second trickiest part.)\n\nIt's quite a long process, but makes essay writing a lot more bearable. Just make sure you start this process as soon as possible to avoid the last minute anxiety I am currently experiencing.", "post_id": "6vo5uc", "comment_id": "dm32q8i"}, {"question": "You're pretty spot on with most of what you're saying here.  Good job.  \n\n\nTo answer your question of \"How do these people start working if nobody hires you with bad social skills?\"\n\n\nWell you basically answered your own question.  There are plenty of jobs that are not dependent on having great social skills.  Basically any job that has more to do with creating something material, working on projects independently that don't require much social interaction.  With jobs like these employers are more interested in skills, knowledge, and experience.  While good social skills are always sought after, it's not a higher priority in some professions.\n\n\nOne more thing to keep in mind.  There is a very big difference between not having good social skills and having very bad social skills.  Someone lacking good social skills may be anxious in conversations and expressing themselves verbally, communicating effectively while working on team projects vs someone with bad social skills who are frequently insulting people or making racist/misogynistic/homophobic/etc. remarks or flying off the handle and yelling at bosses or colleagues.  Doing things that would reflect poorly on the company's image.  In most cases, you're not going to get hired if you show signs of poor social skills because it's not worth the risk to the company.  \n\n\nFortunately, I don't think the majority of the people fall into the extreme of poor social skills but rather the former of lacking good social skills.  Many people lacking social skills often have issues with social anxiety which  tricks them into thinking it'll be impossible for them to be hired.  That way they don't have to face their anxiety and go on interviews or deal with the anxiety working a job creates.  ", "comment": "Judging by my research, most of the posts of depressed people who complain about lack of social skills and being unemployed in their mid or late 20s have to do with their social isolation - after finishing university they sit at home hopelessly wasting their lives (good if they also read books and study something, bad if they only play video games and watch porn), then they come to the point that it's important to do something - they start posting on forums like this and for depressed people, seeing that life is not that bad after all and they can still change everything, earn good wages and build a family (if they want to) in the future provided that THEY HAVE A WISH TO OCCUPY THEMSELVES WITH SOMETHING HEALTHY LIKE WORKING (job).\n\nNow the whole point of the thread - question - how do these people start working if (also judging by my research) nobody hires you with bad social skills, nobody gives you a chance?\n\nBut on the contrary i see that people with bad social skills also manage to find jobs - even in sales - , plus there are a lot of professional degree requiring jobs for people with not-so-good social skills (just google jobs for introverts): all jobs in IT, economists, analysts, actuaries, engineers, scientists, etc.\n\nIf it's true then there's something wrong with my research, it means that people with bad social skills CAN also find jobs and that's the answer to my question, otherwise if they finished both school and university and got no more places to socialize and increase one's social skills except at work (where they can't get hired) then they failed in life and it's pretty much over for them.\n\n", "post_id": "8plpec", "comment_id": "e0civme"}, {"question": "The term \u201cAlcoholic\u201d is no longer used in medical terminology. The correct term is \u201cAlcohol Use Disorder\u201d. Medically speaking you meet the diagnostic criteria for an alcohol use disorder.  The only requirement for membership for AA is a desire to stop drinking. If drinking causes problems it is a problem. If you persist in a behavior after that behavior causes problems, it will help to examine what positive benefits you gain from it.  I suggest you try 90 days of abstinence while attending AA meetings and introduce yourself as someone who is sampling sobriety and seeking to learn new ways of coping.  I suspect that your inner life has not provided you with the peace and contentment that you would prefer. AA offers a 12 step process of recovery that addresses the problem of living according to spiritual values. Each of the steps has a spiritual theme. The first is honesty. Getting honest about how drinking is harming you is necessary. If you persist in drinking when it\u2019s harmful you aren\u2019t being honest. AA calls that powerless. The second principle is hope. AA provides plenty of evidence for reason to hope for a better life than the one you\u2019re living. The third principle is faith. In AA you will meet people who have been revitalized by their reliance on a power greater than themselves, and AA suggests you define what that is for yourself.  The fourth principle is courage. Self examination is a necessary part of the process and self deception will sabotage your recovery. That is why it is necessary to share it with another.  The rest of the steps build on this process, each step preparing you for the next one. Finally you achieve a sense of indescribable freedom. This is described in the promises that are given in the AA literature.", "comment": "Hey. I am not sure if I belong here but it seems like a place where people will understand me. If I am breaking any rules then I am sorry and will be out.\n\nIts just that I am not an alcoholic. I never drank for more than 3 days in a row and mostly didn't drink if I had to work next day and I have no trouble refusing if somebody offers me a drink now. I am more of a binge drinker who can't stop when started until I blackout. If alcohol is over before I blackout I feel a sort of desperation. So I drank like that  1-3 times a week for over a decade.\n\nAnd then a few years ago I decided to stop. I am not even sure why anymore. Maybe because I fell on my face and broke two of my teeth on two different occasions in one year, because I am now with an actual alcoholic or because I was afraid I may say something or cheat on him by accident. Not sure. Only now I really hate life. It is all grey and depressing.Nothing got better like for example when it comes to work but everything else just got worse. I tried to find ways to have fun without drinking but I just can't. Its like if you ever felt true fun all the substitutes just don't live up to it. I also don't really know who I am anymore. I guess I identified myself too much with being a fun, wild drunk. I loved all the stories of what I did when drunk and actually enjoyed all the positive and negative things people were saying about me. Now I don't know where to put myself. I try to get my boyfriend to quit and that not just because I worry about him but because I feel jealous when I see him drunk. I hate his friends who come to drink with him because I imagine myself drinking with them. It hurts when I see my old friends now being his friends asking what happened with me. They all probably think I am a stuck up bitch who is against fun. And I can't find any new friends because I have no idea how to connect with people anymore (acquaintances yes, but no friends) . I did get drunk a couple of times in the past 3 years but only like 5 times per year and his friends all said they like me more that way which I get, I agree with them. I started getting high on opiates but this doesn't help as it isn't a very social drug.\n\nBasically everything is absolutely awful and I don't know how to change it. I keep on telling myself that I will go back and plan to get a vodka bottle on Friday but something always stops me. I think mainly because of my parents who are so happy with the change in me because they can't see how miserable I am and I don't want to hurt them. Back in the days I didn't care about that, I only cared about what I wanted and I miss this too.\n\nAnyways. I am sure people here felt this way and can maybe give some sort of advice? Did you ever find the same happiness without drinking, made any real friends, found a way to be happy with who you are etc.?", "post_id": "f9snay", "comment_id": "fiugw4x"}, {"question": "I\u2019m a psychiatrist. Several of your meds can cause sedation or counteract the others\u2019 effectiveness.", "comment": "* Age: 18\n* Sex: Female\n* Height: 5\u20194\u201d\n* Weight: 130 lbs\n* Race: White\n* Duration of complaint: 2 years(ish?)\n* Location (Geographic and on body): TX. Brain\n* Any existing relevant medical issues\n   * Celiac disease\n      * Not recently glutened\n   * ADHD\n   * Autism Spectrum Disorder\n   * Depression\n      * Decently well controlled. I had to go to the hospital about it about 3.5 years ago, but I am doing well now.\n   * Anxiety\n   * Vitamin D deficiency\n   * Osteopoikilosis\n   * obsessive tendencies\n* Current medications (generic listed in parenthesis)\n   * Xyzal 5 mg qhs (levocetirizine)\n   * Focalin XR 15 mg qam (dexmethylphenidate)\n   * Abilify 2 mg qd (aripiprazole. For autism irritability)\n   * Zoloft 100 mg qd (sertraline)\n   * Catapres 0.1 mg qhs (clonidine. Used for sleep)\n\nOkay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's what's going on:\n\nI've been having brain fog for 2-3 years now, and it has gotten progressively worse. It started with making a few mistakes in math class and has progressed to the point where I cannot get anything done in school (and I desperately need to be able to focus for one more month so I can graduate!). Any time I try to do an assignment, it's like there is a brick wall in front of me. I can't break through it. I can only complete assignments when I'm in the right mood which happens almost never. I can't think, I can't read (even if it is the most interesting thing in the world), and I can't do anything I need to do. The only times I don't feel like this is when I get obsessed about something, or I'm at work. One day I may be obsessed with fixing the formatting of the locations on the GEDCOM file for my family tree, the next I might be obsessed with studying for the PTCE (I'm a pharmacy technician). I can function at work.\n\nIn addition to this, when I'm on my period, I get *really* depressed. Like how bad it was Freshman year. When I'm not on my period, I'm happy.\n\nDo I need to change ADHD meds? Or is something else wrong? I am desperate to find out what to do.\n\n​\n\nEdit: Added dosages and sig", "post_id": "bks367", "comment_id": "emjc92u"}, {"question": "[Weight loss guide] (http://www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/weight-loss-guide/Pages/weight-loss-guide.aspx) ", "comment": "I am a 187cm (6'2\") - 155kg (342lbs) 39 year old male that leads a sedentary lifestyle.\n\nI am trying to lose weight through calorie reduction and my goals are:\n\n* Less than 150kg as soon as possible (so the scales in the bathroom stop saying ERROR when I stand on them)\n* Less than 130kg by April 2017\n* Less than 115kg by December 2017\n* Less than 100kg by June 2018\n\nI've calculated my Basal Metabolic Rate at 2865 calories with a 3438 calorie requirement using the Harris Benedict Equation.\n\nI've recently restarted calorie counting and have been sitting between 1889 and 1662 calories per day intake.\n\nThis is obviously a lot lower reduction than the recommended 500-1000 maximum reduction than I have read about. At this calorie level (granted only a week or so in) I am not feeling particularly hungry. Any cravings I am having at the moment are for the taste of foods I like (junk food, cakes, soft drink, alcohol) rather than hunger pains - potentially as a side effect of me drinking a lot more water (1-2L) per day.\n\n**My query is am creating any significant issues that will hinder my weight loss goals by reducing my calorie intake as low as what I have?**\n\nThank you very much in advance, I really appreciate any scientifically based advice as there is a lot of \"bro-science\" in some fitness/weight loss circles about this.", "post_id": "5nv5mu", "comment_id": "dceycar"}, {"question": "Sorry you're going through this.  For one thing, you said that feeling like a scumbag because you're trying to convince yourself you have a problem.  \n\n\nThat's a load of bullshit.  You're not trying to convince yourself you have a problem.  It's pretty obvious YOU DO have a problem.  \n\n\nAt this point, it's just a matter of where it's coming from.  It is possible to have some of the hypervigilance you described simply from hearing about your mother's abuse at such a young age, especially if she went into graphic detail at all.  \n\n\nThen again, when folks are sexually abused at a young age, it's extremely common for them to completely repress the memory.  While this doesn't always have to be the case, we see that when this happens it's common that the person doesn't have a good vivid memory of their childhood during ages they really should.  \n\n\nFor instance, Despite having some other more mild traumas throughout childhood, I'm fairly certain I was never sexually abused as a child (one can never be fully sure with repression and all).  I have pretty spot on vivid memories going back as early as 2-3 years old.  Now this is pretty young on average, but the majority of folks can recall at least a decent amount of detailed memories from about 4-5 and up.  \n\n\nMany folks I've worked with who have experienced a ton of trauma have either almost no or an extremely hazy recollection of much later ages (ie. can't remember any real details of anything before 10 years old).\n\n\nEdit:  Adding this last thing.  Best chance of figuring things out is to both talk to a therapist about it as well as talk to older folks who you trust who might have been aware if anything went on with you while you were young that you can't remember.  I wouldn't really recommend doing the last part without having a therapist on hand to process the experience.", "comment": "I'm 20m and for a few years now, I've been wondering whether or not I faced some sexual trauma and can't remember. I have no concrete memories of anything happening but there are a handful of symptoms that I feel like suggest something:\n- I freak out about being touched around my naval and sometimes thighs, and when a girl goes for my crotch I instinctively recoil and have to make myself relax.\n- I'm a bit of a sexual pleaser; I don't really care about my own gratification and find myself kinda numb during anything.\n- I masturbate to orgasm at least twice a day, and started doing so specifically to combat feelings of emptiness.\n- When I was a kid, I used to have this weird idea that older women wanted me. Particularly if they were nice to me, I suspected attraction, and I don't know how this idea came to a 6 year old.\n- I acted out sexual acts with dolls most nights at around 7 years old.\n- A man kissed me on the neck against my will when I was 18 (it was a complicated situation) and I suddenly thought 'oh, this again' with no explanation.\n- I carry the sense that the only way to be loved is to make myself attractive and sexually available.\n- I cover up my body for fear of being exposed.\n\nNow my mother was sexually assaulted and told me at the age of nine, so I wonder if that just gave me a certain sexual paranoia or even a need to invent a similar trauma to connect with her, if that makes sense. Also, she was never great with boundaries - she drunkenly went to the toilet while I was in the bath, laughing as I told her to get out, for example, and once or twice described sexual fetishes to me. Maybe small incidents like that had some effect, I don't know.\n\nI'm leaning towards the idea that I wasn't assaulted, or that my mother's occasional inappropriateness and hearing about her assault mixed me up a little. But I still can't shake the nagging feeling that something happened, and I'm always trying to remember it. I'm starting to worry about giving myself false memories, and I feel like an absolute scumbag trying to convince myself I have a problem. But when I view my child self as a csa victim, it's as if things suddenly clicks into place.\n\nDo you believe in repressed memories? Is it possible I could give myself false memories by obsessing over this? Does anything I described sound like a real symptom?", "post_id": "fd9gtk", "comment_id": "fjhs0io"}, {"question": "It sounds like this is very impairing and frustrating. Have you reached out to any social supports? Friends or family?\n\nI can't diagnose on here obviously but I was wondering if you could give more detail on why you would like to slow the passage of time? What would happen if you didn't do these compulsions? ", "comment": "I don't want to go to a professional for help. I've always had problems, but one I've had for the last 5 years that seems more undeniable than most is a need to wake up in the middle of the night to 'slow' the passage of time while sleeping - I do this by drinking a lot of water or setting my alarm. This is a compulsion that I can't overcome, and it's gotten me in trouble.\n\nI'd imagine there's something diagnosably wrong with me, but disorders have a barnum and bailey effect to them - I see a little of myself in the descriptions of all of them. This symptom I've described seems unique, though, in that I haven't seen it described anywhere else. Is it familiar to anyone?", "post_id": "3ew067", "comment_id": "ctjvrq8"}, {"question": "This clearly is bothering you, and you had an interaction with your doctor that didn't help. You should not have to feel more ashamed looking into mental health than you would asking about a rash or other physical finding. The difficulty is that many physicians are also not comfortable with or well trained in mental health.\n\nIf you're looking for \"what\" and \"why\" and \"what do I do about it?\" that's psychiatry, and if there is something treatable it could be with medication, therapy, or both. The ideal is someone who can offer both, but that's often psychiatrists who don't take insurance, so expensive. You could start by making an appointment with a psychiatrist (often a long wait, and then maybe just a referral to therapy) or a therapist (who probably can't prescribe medications if indicated).", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "hnivwv", "comment_id": "fxc3718"}, {"question": "I should also note that I am a graduate student as well as working and it's hard to already meet people (I'm in DC), additionally I've used the apps. Most recently I went down to NYE with friends and had been speaking to someone for a few weeks and he and his friends also came down (3 states away) and we all hung out, rung in the new year. On my way to the airport he told me that he was no longer interested and that \"I was looking for something more serious\" than him. This is the 4th time in a row someone has said this to me and I don't know what I'm doing by looking too serious. All I have done is respond when they reach out and make plans with them, so I'm at a loss and the constant rejecting is only making my abandonment issues more prevalent. I'm feeling unlovable. ", "comment": "I have been diagnosed with BPD and I am running away every single potential person I meet. My trust issues are coming up every time I drink and I'm running them away. I need advice on how to approach new relationships. ", "post_id": "abzxz7", "comment_id": "ed4bh6g"}, {"question": "Think of these drug categories as more about marketing than about exact categories.  There is a lot of crossover in terms of what medicines can be useful for what problems.  \n\nThat said, please get yourself to a cognitive behavioral therapist (CBT) exposure/response prevention (ERP) or an acceptance and commitment therapist (ACT) - one of the evidence based therapies that is known to be useful for anxiety.  Medication is like needing to buy fish all the time to keep from being hungry.  Focused anxiety therapy is like learning to fish for yourself.  ", "comment": "Edit:If I am diagnosed with general and social Anxiety, why am I now prescribed an antidepressant", "post_id": "1qx7pt", "comment_id": "cdhup8f"}, {"question": "'gooey and butterflies' is the start of either lust, or falling in love.\n\neither way, they do level off. those types of feelings are not the sole consideration. most of life is hopefully being great roommates who love each other and have fulfilling intimacy. we are all a package deal. i wouldn't over-emphasize one thing over another. you can't be happier than happy. some other guy, where there are more fireworks, may or may not have other great qualities this guy has.  in a sense, all of life is 'settling'; life is a trade off. nothing is perfect. we all have to decide for ourselves whether the package in front of us is a good one.", "comment": "I'm at a weird time in my life. I have two kids, bought a car and a house, done most of the things I've wanted to do, and I'm just ready to get married. I WANT to get married.\n\nCatch is, the guy I'm with is not 'the one'. Or at least I don't think so. Isn't ' the one' supposed to make you feel butterflies and make you all gooey inside all the time? Or is the person you marry just someone you can live with without killing eachother? \n\nI am in a crisis where I almost feel like I'm settling because I don't feel that passion. I love him and we have a great life. It's just not the intense infatuation that I thought I would feel. Or is that feeling just something made up on movies? \n\nHELP!", "post_id": "6lrsb2", "comment_id": "djwbpl4"}, {"question": "Don't recreate the [Four Loko](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Loko) experience. If you're not getting buzzed you're fine.\n\nOne thing to be aware of, though, is that caffeine can worsen anxiety and panic symptoms. That has the potential to be unpleasant regardless of alcohol. It isn't true for everyone, of course, and if you find caffeine has no problems for you then don't add extra baseless worry.", "comment": "Age: 25\nWeight: 90 kilograms\nDuration of complaint: Exam season.\nMedical history: I have asthma\nMedication: Telfast pills, airflousol inhaler.\n\nSo, I am in the middle of the exam season, and when it's not my panic attacks blocking me from studying, it's my lack of energy. \n\nCoffee works for the latter, alcohol for the former (Not in huge quantities, more like 4-5 sips). I hate the taste of both however, so i thought about just chugging both down at once. \n\nIs that safe? If not, How much should i wait between them?", "post_id": "8peo19", "comment_id": "e0aogtb"}, {"question": "I mean, if he enjoys writing and he's not going into debt to promote it, then why dissuade him? He's having fun and doing something he enjoys.\n\nHowever, if you think he might have high-functioning autism, you could consider asking him to think about seeing a psychologist for a diagnosis. Maybe find an online Asperger's quiz and encourage him to take it to see if it fits his life. Of course, you need to be careful to present this in a way that isn't offensive.", "comment": "My friend is a 25-year-old man. He has written a few science fiction novels. I have read some of his writing and it is very boring. The characters are simplistic, the action reads like a video game, and it is generally unappealing to most people, even among sci-fi fans.\n\nI am not a psychiatrist, but I believe he has undiagnosed high-functioning autism (I won't go into detail). He believes that his writing is good and that he will find an audience that will find his writing amazing. He also believes his writing is a gift from God. He spends money on printing and marketing his books. His only review on Amazon was negative.\n\nI am currently being supportive of his writing career. I tell him that his writing is not the type I'm interested in, but as long as he knows who his audience is, he should ignore everybody else's opinions and focus on improving his writing to cater to his target audience.\n\nI want to help him however I can, but I am only his friend, so I know my options are limited. What can I do?", "post_id": "1zds7m", "comment_id": "cfsrdrt"}, {"question": "Looking healthy isn't a technical medical term. A doctor could mean just about anything that anyone could mean by it.\n\nIt's sometimes used after reviewing labs. \"You look healthy\" is shorthand for \"all your labs look fine.\" I've never heard it said after looking at a patient, but I would imagine much the same. \"On visual inspection, there is nothing obviously wrong.\" A quick visual inspection won't pick up a huge number of things, so it's not all that useful to say, but that's my guess.\n\nDoctors usually won't say that overweight looks healthy. Doctors are more likely to tell you that you need to lose weight with greater or lesser tact and grace.", "comment": "Sorry if this is a stupid question. Title says it all. Been told this by 3 doctors over a few years now and I don't know if it means the same thing as when other people say it. 38F, 145lbs, 5'9\", psychiatric issues + POTS.\n\nI've been told \"looking healthy\" is a way to say someone is overweight, but I'm not overweight. I *am* healthy and I don't have any issues that aren't controlled anymore. I haven't passed out in a couple years and my psychiatrist has helped find the right combo for me.", "post_id": "e4lurc", "comment_id": "f9d8l8x"}, {"question": "You should be in the clear - hopefully you can put that lifestyle very much behind you. Well done!", "comment": "I have a history of abusing large doses of opiates. They all contained Tylenol. I was taking crazy doses, like ten times the recommended daily maximum. Luckily I've been clean about 9 months now. I've had my liver enzyme levels checked out and thank God they're somehow normal. However, I saw a comment on another sub that taking a large amount of Tylenol can cause liver problems *down the road* . Is this true? I always thought it was an immediate thing and if I was fine now I'm in the clear. \n\nEdit: thank you to everyone for the responses! ", "post_id": "6f78fd", "comment_id": "dig9jes"}, {"question": "Hell yeah. ", "comment": "I'm laying in bed and my family is not here. I'm thinking about going to grab some cash out of the atm and go to the store and just get a little bottle. Nothing bad has happened to me and life is good but I just want to check out.  **UPDATE*** I WENT TO THE STORE AND BOUGHT 4 MINI BOTTLES AND GOT HOME MIXED WITH COKE STARED AT IT AND THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT POSTED I FOUND THE STRENGTH TO DUMP IT DOWN THE TOILET. I WAS SHAKING AFTER I DUMPED IT. IWNFDWYT!!", "post_id": "9o5quk", "comment_id": "e7s3i8h"}, {"question": "Well, it's a profound depression. Anhedonia (loss of pleasure) is particularly challenging for depressed people because it derails the feedback loop that helps people recover. \n\nHave you talked to a counselor or psychiatrist?\n", "comment": "Back story: I have had depression for quite a few years. I'm on medication. I also have panic attacks when i think about death. \n\n\nI don't see the point in life. I don't want to die! But i mean I see so many people with passions and hobbies and careers and I just don't get it. I'm envious of them. \n\nIt's not that I'm not good at anything. I have talents but they don't interest me. I've tried several hobbies but again I don't see the point. I feel like I'm just drifting. \n\nI only seem to be happy for a short burst of time when i attach myself to a character. For example: Harley Quinn. I'll read all her comics and buy her merchandise and try to be her. Because I don't have an identity i latch onto characters. I then get bored and move onto the next fictional character. I hope this makes sense as it's difficult to describe! I'm sick of doing this as I waste shit loads of money trying to resell the stuff I've bought. \n\nI'm just not sure what to do. I'm not sad per say just emotionless and don't understand joy or passion.\n\nHas anyone been here? Any advice? \n\nPlease I feel like I'm losing my mind. ", "post_id": "6i8did", "comment_id": "dj4wwu8"}, {"question": "If you live near a university, most of them that offer degrees in counseling have a free clinic attached to them ( or sliding scale-- the clinic near me charges $1-$30 per session, depending on family income. Most people pay just $5 per session.). Call the department and ask! Good luck!", "comment": "Things are going very badly in my life.  I want to see a psychiatrist but I don't have any money or health insurance.  What can I do.  I'm not working and I tried to look for work but I can't concentrate.  Life is too hard and I dont' want to live anymore.  ", "post_id": "1e6yo2", "comment_id": "c9xfmu7"}, {"question": "No. As the doctor said, the PET scan is to see *if* it has spread, and if so where, because that has implications for treatment.", "comment": "Father \n59 Years old\n6\u20194\u201d\nUS\nHad Stage 3 cancer now it\u2019s back \n\nMy father\u2019s throat/neck cancer is back and as they found a spot on a salivary gland. They did a biopsy to confirm and came back positive for the cancer. While my dad was talking to the doctor on the phone the doctor stated the PET scan would be next Friday. My dad replied by asking if it is to see if it has spread and the doctor stated yes. Now, my dad is convinced this means the doctor thinks it has spread but how would he know? I just wanted to get some opinions before I try to put him at a little bit of ease. Would there be a way for a doctor to know it spread from the neck to another part of the body solely based on a biopsy? ", "post_id": "9bnzyn", "comment_id": "e54fczh"}, {"question": "Some amount of discharge isn\u2019t so rare during puberty among boys, but it can be something more serious. I wouldn\u2019t worry, but I would discuss with your doctor.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "jxnk8j", "comment_id": "gcy08lk"}, {"question": "This won't be the advice you are looking for but, here goes.  It is really hard to judge her reaction to you without physically being there to read the body language.  Also your are going to have a skewed view of her since you want her to be attracted to her.  If you really want to find out if she likes you, you have to ask.  There is no easy way around it and strangers on the internet don't have the answer of whether she likes you or not.  Ask if she wants to go out for a drink or something sometime.  Tailor the sentence how yo wish.  Now a work of caution.  One of two things happens.  Either she accepts your request for fun and you start down that path.  Or she denies your request and now you have a dentist that you will always look at and wonder what could be.  Having a relationship in an area of your life that initial served another purpose can be tricky.  Even if you do get in a relationship with this woman you have to be prepared for all outcomes.  ", "comment": "I went to the dentist yesterday, and there was this beautiful fair skinned lady. My guess would be shes between 26-31 years of age considering shes a dentist. Anyways, while i was in the chair, i caught her sneak and glance into the room. Like a quick glance but she look at me briefly. She walked back and forth through the hallway either once or twice, i cant really remember. She stayed in her office next door with another woman for about 10-15 minutes while i was getting my procedure done. Literally as soon as i was done she stood at the door and smiled at me and i smiled and winked back as i was caught of guard. Was that a coincidence?, Also i am 20 years old, but i look like a 15-16 year old kid. I have no hair on my face, i am 5\"8 , i weigh 156 pounds. If any of this does mean anything, What could she possibly see in me? I would say i am attractive, usually its high school girls that approach me because i look so young. They say on a 1-10 attractiveness scale (Kind of ridiculous and immature right?), that i am an 8-8.5. Some have even said a 9. What do you guys think about this? I desperately need help with this as its been on my mind.", "post_id": "46j3qd", "comment_id": "d05k4ru"}, {"question": "You can't expect her to be who she's not. Chill. Be yourselves. If she thinks you're too affectionate, she should tell you \" not now\". This chasm can be crossed.", "comment": "(Sorry if this is long, I wanted to be thorough)\nWe have been dating for 2 years, 4 months, and for the most part it's been an amazing relationship. We get along really well and truly value and love each other. However, I often find myself at times doubting whether the relationship is truly okay, mostly due to our differences in the amount of affection we give each other. I'm a very affectionate person, usually showering with compliments and gifts and overall positive affection towards my gf. She, on the other hand, is a bit more reserved when it comes to showing affection, in which she is a very affectionate person, just a lot more subtle than I am. This is leading me to constantly feel that there's something wrong between us, and that she's not giving me as much affection as I would like. I've tried to address this to her before, and she's communicated to me that she feels that the amount of affection she gives me is \"never enough,\" for me, and that I'm just trying to find a problem. I acknowledge that I may be setting an unrealistic expectation, and I'm sick of trying to argue this with her. I need help in trying to find a balance between us so that we're both content.", "post_id": "6ssidl", "comment_id": "dlfgnf1"}, {"question": "It's possible she is very dependent on you and it's draining your relationship. Its also possible that there's a codependent aspect to your relationship: the craving attention from you to boost her ego, using you to assuage your loneliness, you need to comfort her when things go awry; these are all signs of codependency. It's possible that's what causing the shut-in-ness. It's worth checking out at least. \n\nOr, she's just being really fucking selfish and asking you to attend to all her needs and not attending to any of yours. I would have a serious talk with her about your needs and desires. \n\nAlso, dude. You're attractive and 22. You have years to find a wonderful girl, and they are certainly out there. If you're not happy, and asking for what you need doesn't change anything, or you two can't compromise, leaving is probably the best answer. ", "comment": "I'm in a really weird situation right now.  My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and I am getting really bored of our relationship.  We hardly ever go out anymore, and despite my best efforts, we are becoming huge shut-ins.  I am a really outgoing and socially motivated person, and when we started dating she was too.  However, in the past year and a half, she has been focusing more on school than anything else in her life.  She is really excelling, and I am proud of her, but I feel really neglected by her.  However, I feel like she really needs me as a motivating and emotionally supportive force in her life.  She craves that I give her praise when she does well in school (and I do not use the word crave in a hyperbolic way, as she derives extreme pleasure from it) and that I am there to comfort her when things go awry.  I also feel that she likes having me around so that she doesn't feel lonely.  \n\nAlso, our sex-life has taken a huge step backwards.  I am a very sexual person and she knew this when we started dating.  At first the sex was good, and was getting progressively more adventurous and pleasurable.  But now it feels like we have hit quick sand.  Sex basically consists of me giving her oral sex and then me giving it to her missionary style.  I might get her to go on top if I'm lucky, but that is the farthest extent.  As a result, lately I have had a few thoughts of infidelity.  Not to be conceited, but I am an attractive guy and I garner a lot of female sexual attention when I go out, and that is something that I really want in my life, and I am very tempted to act on it... that being said, I will not give into infidelity, that is just not right for me.\n\nThere is a part of me that feels things have just gotten too stagnate, and that maybe ending things is the way to go, but she was a really rare find.  She is smart, pretty and funny, and we can work VERY well together.  And I have had a lot of experience with other women which  always leads to me getting really sick of them very quickly.  \n\nI don't know what to do, and I feel like if I leave my girlfriend it will destroy her, and that the grass will not really be greener on the other side.", "post_id": "1d50sr", "comment_id": "c9mycty"}, {"question": "Beautiful, thank you!", "comment": "Hey, \n\nVoice to the wind. Wind into the voice. I know you're out there. I don't feel like it's the right time either. Because it'll come in time.\n\nThis is cool. \n\nHey you, yes, you. You reading this. You are valid, you are genuine, you are a people. Your problems are your problems, yeah I know, they suck. Really hurts right? I empathize. I go through them too. Know what? Itl be okay. It equals out. There's loss and there's love. You'll experience both, I have a feeling.\n\nHave a great fucking day!", "post_id": "atco81", "comment_id": "eh0h311"}, {"question": "I'm an introvert and one of my favorite things to do is have \"together alone\" time where we are doing separate things but can still enjoy each other's company. We can each be engaged in separate hobbies, read a book, browse the internet, etc while the other is doing something else. After some time passes, we regroup and share what we've been up to. This can even be disbursed throughout the activities (sharing interesting articles, quotes, thoughts, progress on a project, etc.). So this way, the introvert gets time to recharge and the extrovert still has someone to hang out with.  ", "comment": "My SO[26M] and I [23F] have been together for 1 1/2 years now and he is a major introvert. I on the other hand, wouldnt classify myself as an extrovert but somewhere in between the 2. We get along so well even with our differences in personality because we balance each other a little and we are usually extremely happy. We rarely fight, but on the odd time that we do, its about how much time to spend together and things surrounding his introverted tendencies. We are getting to that point in our relationship where marriage could be on the table soon, but we are both worried that his introverted tendencies could make having a family and simply living together, really hard. I am currently really good about giving him his space when he needs it and letting him recharge alone. but when you live together, i know that itgets harder!  He really wants to change and not be so introverted, but he feels like it may not be possible and that he might just have to end up completely alone. \nBasically i'm just looking for some tips on how we can make this work.? I can't see my life being spent with anyone else and im really determined to make this work. I know he loves me, and he says if he ends up with anyone it will be me, but will this be too much of an uphill battle?\nAny advice helps! \n\nTL;DR My boyfriend is an introvert and im not. How do we make this work? ", "post_id": "2dfthu", "comment_id": "cjpfvs5"}, {"question": "Hepatitis B remains incurable. Many HPV strains are not included in Gardasil, and Gardasil is prevention, not treatment. Of the bacterial infections, there is more and more resistance. There are some scary strains of syphilis now.\n\nI'm not sure where the 0.001% chance of HIV comes from. It obviously depends on whether you use protection, who your partners are, and how many you have.", "comment": "I (33M, 75kg, Caucasian) currently looking into getting HPV vaccination.\n\nWhile doing research, it seemed to me that STDs aren't really \"a thing\" anymore as almost all STDs can nowadays be cured within a few days or vaccinated against except Herpes and HIV.\n\nIs there anything apart from HIV and Herpes that is still dangerous or difficult to treat? Herpes is also only a nuisance and HIV is so exceptionally rare in the first world and with modern medication doesn't turn into AIDS anymore.\n\nThe only ones that I can come up with that aren't are\n\n1. Rare HPV strains that are not included yet in the Gardasil-9 vaccine\n2. Super-gonnorhea that is resistant against all antibiotics, but this is extremely rare, even more rare than HIV in the first world.\n\nEverything else, Chlamydia, Syphilis etc. are very easy to cure. Of course, you need to need to get tested regularly and live in first world countries to get treatment as STDs are still rampant in the developing world. \n\nSo, if I am vaccinated with Gardasil-9 and am getting tested regularly, the only thing that can\u2019t be treated easily that I can catch is Herpes and a 0.001% chance for HIV, no? \n\nThanks a lot.", "post_id": "eiymxk", "comment_id": "fcubcl6"}, {"question": "Is she in a private practice? If so, my guess is she won't be adjusting the fee :/  If you see a therapist at an agency or community mental health center, you are more likely to find sliding scale/ fee reduction based on need.", "comment": "God, I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit for this - if there's a better one, please direct me to it.\n\nAfter years of failing to find a therapist in my town that would work with me, I finally found someone who clicks and she's been helpful in steering me towards methods that manage my anxiety and depression. Great, right? But she's not in my insurance network and I had assumed I had some out of network coverage options, because I took my employer's word without double checking myself.\n\nTurns out I don't. Just says \"NOT COVERED\" on any out-of-network providers.\n\nCurrently I pay $150 out of pocket per session and I see her weekly, but $600 a month is starting to drain and I'm having anxiety attacks over budgeting. I plan on speaking with her next time about sliding scale (which I feel like I'm insultingly cheap for asking about) but other than that, am I just out of options? It's either asking her to change her rate or nothing?", "post_id": "49e1j2", "comment_id": "d0voh5h"}, {"question": "I\u2019ve been in this pattern before as well. The narcissists I\u2019ve ended up with in the past were also very manipulative and emotionally abusive.  \n\nWhat do you think attracts you to these types? Also, are you more of an empath? Are you someone who over looks some of the negative behaviours of your partners/sees the good in them and their potential? \n\nThere\u2019s some interesting articles about empaths and narcissists.", "comment": "Hi, I\u2019m a 20F and I\u2019ve fallen for two guys that are (what I think are) narcissists in a the span of a few months. One was more covert and the most recent was more overt. My mom is also a narcissist. (Many people around me who know my mom agree that she is a narcissist). I feel like an idiot since I keep falling for this type of person. How do I catch the warning signs of narcissism early? I just started seeing a therapist so I do feel like some of this will work itself out in time. I\u2019m just curious if anyone knows why this happens.", "post_id": "ejz1wb", "comment_id": "fd4381y"}, {"question": "I recommend you go to that meeting. Even if they only have a maintaining group and not a newcomers group tonight you can still go. Just walk right in and pick a seat.", "comment": "Just not sure what to expect. Also, I noticed that they have meetings specifically for newcomers. Do I have to go one of those? The meeting in my area tonight is labeled \"maintaining group.\" Just not sure what that is... do I just walk in?\n\nI'm 10 days sober but last night was the hardest. I haven't slept. I've been distracting myself past 2 A.M. so even if I want a drink I can't get one, but then since I'm so goddamn sober now, I can't fall asleep after that. But now it's morning and stores are opening and I have $20 sitting on the counter with my I.D. ready to go. I've been pacing all night. I'm really worried I might cave. Wouldn't be the first time. I'm doing my best though. 10 days is pretty awesome for me.\n\nBut I know I need help. Any advice?\n\n\nEdit: Thanks so much to the few people who have commented already. I've been on the fence about AA for so long, just never had a single person truly support the idea of me going. It's nice to hear kind words and support. It's extremely calming to hear your experiences as well. My biggest hurdle is my fear.\n\nEdit: So I just arranged a babysitter for the night so I can go. I'm pretty committed to doing this now. Honestly, I can't thank you guys enough. I know it's just a few shared experiences, but you've made me feel so much better about this. This is the first time I've ever been truly hopeful about quitting.", "post_id": "1s315g", "comment_id": "cdteg9x"}, {"question": "Cleaning up your own jizz is like the mark of civilized society. I wouldn't care about him using the undies, but leaving them on the coffee table is pretty gross.\n\nSounds like the bigger problem is that he's become lazy/distant in the relationship. No affection, lackluster sex, not doing chores, not picking up after himself (again, gross) ... all classic. I think the undies are a final straw of sorts. I'd confront him about the bigger issues, and let him know what you need from him to feel like he's half of a relationship.", "comment": "I sat down on the couch this morning to work from home when I noticed my silky underwear on the coffee table, with fairly obvious signs that my fiance has used them for self enjoyment.  I have no idea how to feel, if/how I should say anything, please help!\n\nIt might be relevant to know that he seems to always ask me to wear silky lingerie or a robe for business time.  This makes me uncomfortable because he very rarely shows any physical affection outside of business hours (pulls his hand away when I try to hold hands on a walk, no hugs/kisses for hello, goodbye, etc.) and then he constantly requests silky lingerie for business attire.  I feel like it's not so much me he wants to be close to, he just wants business his way when he wants it.\n\nAlso, I am frustrated because he was \"sick\" last night, which meant him laying on the couch while I ran to store, ran errands, did chores and catered to him.  I feel kind of feel like I waited on him and then he just did what he wanted, without any thought to how I might feel.  At least throw them in dirty laundry, man!\n\nTL;DR:  Fiance used underwear for self pleasure and left on coffee table.  Feeling confused, don't know if I have a right to be angry about this, and don't know how or if I should confront him.  ", "post_id": "57goaa", "comment_id": "d8s1s1s"}, {"question": "Here\u2019s to 27 days! That\u2019s an accomplishment and some self-compassion is warranted. You did a great job for those 27 days and can do it again!\n\nRather than failure, let\u2019s reframe this as a learning experience. Now, we can look at what happened at day 27 and plan for how do we help next time get to day 28? :)", "comment": "I\u2019m feel so disappointed in myself ;(", "post_id": "j5i5aw", "comment_id": "g7syd40"}, {"question": "Let it go, man. She's not gonna make you happy. ", "comment": "I'll keep it short.  Matched with a girl on Tinder about 2 months ago and i was pretty deep at first glance just from her description.  We eventually hung out a few times and got intimate fairly quick so things seemed to be going in the right direction.  But she wasnt a big texter or communicator so i was always on edge and stressed as to what was up, but she would hmu every once and awhile to talk and what not.  But she forgot about plans we made once and I let it go but later she hit me up saturday night saying \"hang tomorrow\" but the next day when i asked her whats the plan no response at all but she was out and about on her story.  I was pretty hurt but I try to stay mature about these kind of things so I just didnt address her but i did block her on snapchat two days later because i didnt want to see what she was up to.  I added her back 4 or 5 days after cause i felt pety and we like eachothers posts on social media(not that im reading into it, i just state that cause it gives me reason to believe were on ok terms?).  Anyway 2 weeks later I havent talked to her but definitely still in the dumps about it and I catch myself wanting to hit her up and be honest as to what happened.  But I also try to remember that i was stressed all the time not knowing what her deal was and that she probably didnt take it as seriously as i did which is totally fine im just annoyed how she went about it.  I never felt this way about someone, probably why it stings so much.  Would love sone outside perspective, good part of me thinks I should just take the L and keep moving.", "post_id": "6binud", "comment_id": "dhmvx37"}, {"question": "I would call your insurance company and see if you have any out of network benefits. Sometimes therapists aren\u2019t in network with a specific insurance company, but once you pay them their fee, they can give you a superbill that you can then submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. You may have access to more of the therapists in your area than you think, ones that will hopefully be a better fit. \n\nIf the out of network benefits things doesn\u2019t pan out, it would be helpful if you have a flexible schedule, more therapists are willing to give discounts for harder to fill slots, like 10 am or 1 pm; bonus points if you can flex from week to week to fill whatever slot they have open that week.", "comment": "[\u5df2\u79fb\u9664]", "post_id": "cvaw72", "comment_id": "ey3sybs"}, {"question": "Use medication but sparingly. Check medical possibilities. Fix your diet so your gut biome is healthy, start to cut out stress you can but only because you'll need the room for stresses you can't cut out like anxiety. Start to practice meditation and belly breathing. Carry ice cold water in a 24hr vacuum insulated bottle. Tell at least three people. Read about it but don't read anything that talks about \"cut out caffeine and reduce your stress\" they are talking about worry, not anxiety. Practice more belly expansion and other vaygal stimulating exercises. Try Chinese herbs like ashwagandha. Sleep enough. Always differentiate external from internal fear. Recheck medical possibilities. When panicking use your senses to pull you out, if you can't empirically validate the fear it's probably not external. Internal fear is anxiety and while very real, it's not going to harm you. Avoid the temptation to accommodate triggers. Cut out caffeine. Look into fecal transplants. Use the repulsion as motivation to do more of the other stuff. Check for hyperthyroidism again. Go to a counselor if you can't get somewhere in your own. Find a good book on it. \n\nFinally  after none of this has worked, Use Ketamine to reprogram your limbic system. ", "comment": "So lately I have been having major anxiety, further leading to what seems to be a panic attack. I have only had this happen a few times in the past few months. Looking for suggestions on how to handle it. They usually come out of nowhere. ", "post_id": "6hxcmk", "comment_id": "dj1x6su"}, {"question": "Everyone can benefit from a set of skills that helps them think more rationally,  and checks whether their thoughts are influencing their emotions.  You can also also challenge your own black-and-white thinking.  As a non-CBT practicing psychologist,  I think these and are other CBT type skills are  fantastic for anyone. \n\nAs far as self-learning CBT, I  think this would be like learning tennis from a book, with no racket,  court , or balls. You could easily learn every stroke and position,  but that is very different than actually playing the game . And then,  if you got out and  played tennis by yourself against a wall , how would you  get better or be challenged? How would you know if you were making the same mistake over and over?\n\nAlso , the reason you can't apply it to yourself is because you can't possibly know what you do and don't know . Everyone has blind spots .\n\nI think anyone can benefit from solid techniques and new ways of thinking.  You can check yourself on whether your thoughts are influencing your emotional state,  but that is very different than the work of therapy .\n\nIf cost is prohibiting you from getting help , I recommend seeing a grad student . They are usually free or very low cost.", "comment": "Is it possible/effective to learn CBT from scratch, and then apply it yourself without the guidance of a therapist of some kind? \nAre there any resources you\u2019d recommend, workbooks, etc. and what would you say are the main pitfalls to attempting this alone?", "post_id": "fwhljo", "comment_id": "fmos4ny"}, {"question": "I can relate to quite a bit on that list. Well done!! Like the way you\u2019re going about it. Keep it up!!", "comment": "Pros:\n1. The first and second drinks relax me and put me in a positive state of mind. \n2. I like to enjoy the warm weather by sitting on a patio drinking wine or beer. \n3. I won\u2019t have to deal with cravings. \n\nCons:\n1. I never stop at two drinks. \n2. Waking up with no hangover relaxes me and puts me in a positive state of mind. \n3. Instead of actually enjoying the warm weather, I\u2019m numbing myself to it. Better to enjoy the warm weather by taking a walk or going for a bike ride. \n4. If I don\u2019t drink, I can allow myself other treats. Maybe I\u2019ll have a slice of pie. \n4. I take pride in being a fairly smart person. Drinking makes me stupid. \n5. I don\u2019t like myself the following morning. \n6. My kids deserve a mom who is fully present. \n7. I might say something embarrassing. Or worse, I might say something mean. \n8. I have a new book that I can\u2019t wait to read. If I drink, I probably won\u2019t get around to it. \n9. I have to stop doing this to my body. I can\u2019t keep putting off my health. \n10. I can watch tv and actually follow the plot. \n11. I will feel good about myself if I can get through a weekend sober. \n12. My dog gets extra walks when I don\u2019t drink. \n13. If I drink, I might have a stupid argument with my husband. \n14. I want to be physically fit. Drinking interferes with that. \n15. When I drink, I\u2019m not as funny as I think I am. \n16. Sobriety is supposed to get easier. The only way to find out whether or not that\u2019s true is to do it. \n17. It sucks waking up at 3 am, unable to go back to sleep due to shame. \n18. I don\u2019t want to risk flaking on my plans with my daughter. \n19. My house stays clean when I don\u2019t drink. \n20. What is there\u2019s an emergency?\n21. Alcohol brings out the worst in me. \n22. I am a good person who deserves to be treated better than the way I\u2019ve been treating myself. \n\nHmm. I think the choice is obvious. \n\nI have taken preparation measures. I have:\n1. Full tank of gas in my car. (No gas station beer for me!)\n2. Book\n3. Perrier\n4. Diet cokes\n5. Fully charged Fitbit\n6. Purchases LEGO movie 2 on iTunes. \n7. Aired up bike tires\n8. Gift card from Half Priced Books\n9. Starbucks gift card. \n10. Reddit app on my phone \n11. Poop bags for walking the pooch\n12. Jigsaw puzzle to give me something to do if it rains \n13. Two books by Annie Grace \n14. An unreasonably large stash of chocolate \n\nYeah, I\u2019m a bit of a list maker. Anyway, day 5 over here. It\u2019ll be interesting to see what this weird \u201csober weekend\u201d thing is like.", "post_id": "bps81p", "comment_id": "enz4cba"}, {"question": "Just know, I was a 16 year old girl that hadn't graduated high school, did drugs, had no hobbies or true friends. I am now a 29 year old woman that is two weeks from handing in my master of clinical psychology thesis, a course that is one of the most competitive courses in the country. \n\nDon't let this diagnosis frame you. It makes life a bit harder but everyone has something that makes things harder. That's not to say your hard part doesn't matter though, just notice it and give yourself space to process it, then do your best gurl. You got this. The world needs more strong, passionate women like us.", "comment": "\n**TLDR**; I\u2019m a 16 year old black girl who suffers from anxiety, depression and possibly undiagnosed ADHD. Going through the college application to process currently and reflecting on my failures. I feel out of place and i feel like i don\u2019t function as well as I should despite what it may look like on the surface. I feel like a failure and feel like I\u2019m not living my full \u201cgifted\u201d potential. \n\n**Overwhelmed.**\n\n  My inability to function like a normal human being is becoming more and more evident. \nI got a 1190 my first try I don\u2019t feel the greatest about it :( Even if i study, I won\u2019t improve. I hate the education system. I hate the world. I feel like a failure. I don\u2019t deserve graduation photos. Am i even gonna graduate? My teacher must hate me. My counselor will be disappointed in me. Am i depressed? Do i even have ADHD? Or am i just a lazy failure with 0 work ethic? I knew that this period of my life would be jolting and that I needed things to maintain proper balance and no one is listening to me. No one is trying to see how much i\u2019m struggling. \n\nEverything is downplayed because I look so okay and \u201chigh functioning\u201d and I smile and laugh and socialize seemingly okay and i get grades good enough to get me by. But every day is a trial. I am so miserable it\u2019s not a joke,  I feel like a prisoner in my own mind. \nI can\u2019t do anything I want to do. I feel paralyzed every time i want to do something. UCI\u2019s nursing program will never accept me. \n\nI have a 3.7 GPA a 1190 SAT and no worth mentioning extracurriculars. What are my hobbies? Daydreaming. Dreaming about scenarios and a life I will never live. Listening to music. \nI used to draw. But then i also used to paint. But i also used to \u201ccode\u201d. But I also used to bake. But i also used to sing. But i also used to dance. But i also used to do makeup. I never picked up anything long enough for me to look like a stable, consistent person. \nIn a storm of moderate anxiety and depression I couldn\u2019t keep up with the public school system so I had to pull myself out of school at the beginning of the second semester of my sophomore year so I don\u2019t fail and get in trouble for multiple absences and went into home schooling instead. \n\n**A 16 year old girl who** in her anxiety and inattentiveness failed her driver\u2019s test and could barely keep enough control to not start sobbing as soon as the instructor got out.\n\nI can\u2019t cook, can\u2019t clean, can\u2019t drive, can\u2019t even take care of myself. I dont know how to dress. I wasted all of my high school years hating myself and hating my life and crying and shaking and hyperventilating and pacing and suffocating and daydreaming! and living vicariously through others. \n\nI suck at math.\n\nI make my grandma and mom sad and disappointed all the time because of my constant occasional emotional coldness towards them and because Im not as sociable and lively as they thought I\u2019d grow up to be. \n I get angry and irritable at the littlest things I have to read passages and sentences and bodies of text over and over again because I wasn\u2019t paying attention the first time\n\n**A 16 year old girl who** constantly has difficulty expressing herself and thoughts. Who\u2019s scared to get a job because she knows she can\u2019t handle too much responsibility and she\u2019s not reliable sometimes. \n  \nWho since third grade has had to lie and finesse and compensate for her inability to do anything when it\u2019s not last minute and has constantly had to do every assignment either in the earliest hours of the AM, in the class period before it\u2019s due, or in the class itself. But because she was considered \u201csmart\u201d and \u201cgifted\u201d it got overlooked. \n  Who in the middle of a sentence forgets the point of what\u2019s she\u2019s rambling about, or forgets a word she\u2019s known her whole life, or forgets what the next she was going to say was.\n\n   **A 16 year old who** gets so fixated on one person or public figure or celebrity pair to the point it becomes a borderline obsession and they\u2019re the last thing she thinks of when she goes to sleep and the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up. \n\n   **A 16 year old girl who** also feels so much empathy most times (in direct contrast to how little empathy she feels in certain situations) that she can physically feel how others do and will drain herself just to make another person feel better. \n\nWho will go to the ends of the earth to make a friend happy but also tends to push them away without realizing because she\u2019s just! too! sad! Who when she isn\u2019t being weighed down by her complicated mental is actually somewhat charming and bubbly\nwho shakes her leg so much her mom has to physically stop her. \n\n  is a black girl who doesn\u2019t know how to do hair as well as others do. \n\n **A 16 year old girl who** just wants to feel wanted and loved and belonging. Who just wants to feel pretty and social and lively and OKAY! Who just wants to live and function like a proper human! Who\u2019s so overwhelmed as to how her mind works she\u2019s in a constant state of confusion as to what to do with herself and she gets so restless she wants to physically crawl out of her skin. \n\nI don\u2019t know exactly know why I made this post. Sorry it\u2019s so long, I think i needed to vent. I\u2019m new to this subreddit so idk if i\u2019m doing this right yikes. Feels like i\u2019m just exaggerating everything because i come across as so \u201chigh-functioning\u201d, feels like i\u2019m a fraud.", "post_id": "dkr8oa", "comment_id": "f4kpspz"}, {"question": "I haven't evaluated or treated you, so I can't say anything for sure. However,  since you said this resolved itself with age and no intervention and because you never acted on these thoughts (aside from threars)  I suspect it may be related to poor access to coping skills and little control over your life as a kid. \n\nKids often have no control over external circumstances and may not be taught or modeled internal coping . So,  if your only way to self sooth and feel in control was to imagine these violent scenes,  then it makes sense .", "comment": "I had a phase in which I had kinda violent thoughts. This started when I was around 11 and faded away slowly when I was like 16. I would think about killing my family (who I'm really close to), stabbing people, killing people at school, pushing them off balconies, sometimes torture them, setting places on fire, hurting animals (this is the only one that made me feel guilty). I distinctly remember wanting to push a pregnant teacher down the stairs, because she could lose her baby and she would suffer from it. I don't think they were intrusive thoughts because I used to carefully plan those things and I felt satisfaction out of it, I liked the thought of seeing someone scared, feeling that power over them. I also had thoughts about wanting to jump off buildings, but I didn't exactly wanted to kill myself. And I remember feeling constantly angry.\n\nI never acted on it, of course, but I used to threat people a lot, draw and write disturbing things. They faded away by themselves without any intervention, so, in my head and based on the kind of people I got along with (I was in a Catholic school and most of us were there because we were kinda problematic) I thought it was just a phase and it was normal for a kid that age, but now my brother is 12 and he seems so mentally stable, so it made me question how normal actually this is. I've been diagnosed with panic disorder and slight depression, but I suspect ADHD, if that's important. I had it so normalised and I recently got a realization, like \"its probably not that normal\".\n\nAs it's been some years now I would probably ask my psychiatrist but since we're on quarantine, my last appointment was on march, so I would like to hear your thoughts about it. Thanks!\n\nTLDR; I used to feel pleasure out if thinking about hurting people and I thought it was because I was a teen but I want to know if it's actually \"normal\". I'm already in therapy, I'm just curious.", "post_id": "hundm6", "comment_id": "fyo6did"}, {"question": "Are you exclusive?\n\nIf no, there's nothing to confront. \nIf yes, are you willing to trust him?\n   - if yes, relax. \n   - if no, then you can tell him that you're scared and ask him if he'll talk to you about it. \n", "comment": "He been throwing hits here and there and I'm not sure what to do? Should I confront him? ignore it?leave him? I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable about it\n\nEdit: I came across a few messages a year ago and a few months ago about him making plans to  meet another guy for a sexual relationship I'm positive it's a guy (been together for 7 years)", "post_id": "6iqx2h", "comment_id": "dj8fp6b"}, {"question": "Don't tell her she's beautiful.  Just ask her how school is going and what's she's been up to and RELAX.", "comment": "So here's the situation, the girl I like is my sisters friend, my sister is 21 I'm 20 and her friend is 20, theirs a party coming up soon and myself and my friends and all my sisters friends are going to be their, and the girl I like. But since I have a close relationship with my sister she knows I'm interested in her friend and she said she would introduce her to me, so here's where I need help, I've had girlfriends and know how to talk to girls but for some reason I can't explain I just really like this girl and can't stop thinking about her, and I don't know what to say to her when the day of the party comes, I was thinking of telling her that she is pretty or beautiful but I don't want to be too forward, and I really don't want to creep her out and ruin the whole situation cause I want to make it work. This is strange to me cause I think I'm actually in love with her and in past relationships I was so easy going cause I think I wasn't as passionate and didn't actually truly love them as much as I love this girl. I need help!! Any replies are appreciated and thanks if you took the time to read the post. ", "post_id": "709x7h", "comment_id": "dn1ii9i"}, {"question": "The worst is when you can't remember your password, try multiple times, click forgot password, put a new one in then it says \"you can't use the same password as what is already set.\" FUCKING WHAT!?!?", "comment": "Don't get me started, how do normal people even remember 50 different passwords? \n\nOr does everyone use \"Macaroni79\" for everything they use? LOL", "post_id": "jgezaa", "comment_id": "g9qxy1v"}, {"question": "Losing your virginity is a very emotional thing. But he wants fwb, not a relationship, and if you want a relationship, I would cease contact and move on because you're just going to be hurt more.", "comment": "So I've only ever had one relationship, but it was long-distance so I only ever got to see the guy a couple of times within the span of 2 years.\n\nFast-forward to last Winter, and I had been seeing a guy for a month. I know it was only a month, but we were on break and we saw each other a LOT. He visited me at work and bought me smoothies and we went out all the time. We started out as friends and then he told me he liked me. I was scared to start a relationship because I wasn't sure how they worked, and if I got into one I KNEW I would be too emotionally invested. We texted casually everyday and he seemed perfect. We had the same taste in clothes, music, the same stances on politics and social justice, and he just seemed like an amazing human being.   \n\nPersonality-wise and socially, however, we were completely different. He's extremely extroverted with a lot of friends - I'm extremely introverted with the same core friend group from high school. His parents let him do whatever while mine won't even let me date until post-college. I've lived an extremely sheltered life (I still do, to some extent), while he just... hasn't. He told me I was beautiful and he said he liked seeing me. He tried to pay for all our meals and bought me a really nice Christmas present. \n\nAnd then, after New Years, he broke up with me. He said something along the lines of how because of his personality he always relied on people for companionship, and how he wanted to be independent. He said he didn't think he wanted to pursue things romantically with me anymore, and that he wanted to be friends. He also said something else about how we were on different paths, which is true, but it still really hurt to hear it. I was really upset... I had really liked him. To make matters worse, we continued on with our date and I ended up losing my virginity to him at my house, post-breakup. I cried and he comforted me saying things like \"it's for the best\", but he still slept with me knowing I had feelings for him. \n\nI told him I didn't want to see him or talk to him for a while, but that I would still be his friend after some time had elapsed. After a couple of weeks, I had cooled down and decided to try messaging him again. He said something like \"Hey, I was just thinking about you earlier\".\n\nWhy does he have to word things like that? Or just say those things in general? I thought I was fine, but I don't think I'm completely over it yet. I don't even know how to be friends with him again, but I still think about him all the time and I still feel the urges to message him. What should I do? ", "post_id": "5omz2b", "comment_id": "dckjr4w"}, {"question": "You need to go see a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist in your area. Auditory hallucinations can be a sign of something more serious. ", "comment": "Lately at night I will hear what I can only describe as the walls breathing. I share a home with several other people, so at first I thought it was one of them, but I have been by myself recently and I still heard the sound. It sometimes freaks me out so much that I can't sleep, and lately this has taken a toll on my mood and behaviour. I've never had anything like this happen to me before. Any advice is appreciated.", "post_id": "43ick4", "comment_id": "czildom"}, {"question": "Yes. It's self validating. I feel special", "comment": "Is anyone else feeling like this? It makes me feel important... idk", "post_id": "8n3u1q", "comment_id": "dzsmxlj"}, {"question": "Sorry to hear that.  You said psychiatrist but I imagine you meant therapist?  Usually psychiatrist's won't spend so much time talking to you.  This was just bad practice.  As I usually say, some of us are better than others.  I'm a pretty staunch atheist, but if someone comes to me and wants to talk about religion or is very religious, I meet them where they're at and talk to them.  \n\nAll this aside, you may want to make sure you pay that $50 fee.  Most of us have clients sign cancellation policies when you start that states something like \"If a session is not cancelled with at least 24 hours notice a fee will be charged\".  Many therapy agencies I've worked for send unpaid bills to collections and it could impact your credit.  \n\nI worked for and eventually was fired from a prominent drug and alcohol recovery program in Philadelphia.  The top administration and many clinicians there were vehemently about forcing religion on any and all clients.  They essentially saw clients issues in relation to their failing to believe in God or accept a higher power. When I questioned the ethics of this, it lead to too much conflict between administration and myself.  It happens.  \n\nI hope your new therapist is more understanding and better at their job.  ", "comment": "So I'm in my mid thirties with a 2yr old son. At the time we were heavily in debt and I was taking care of our son and trying to work from home. Feeling trapped and overly stressed I decided for the sake of myself and my family it would be good to talk to someone. At this point I was having panic attacks daily and feeling worthless so I an appointment with the first person I could find. Big mistake.\nMy first visit was fine, because I did most of the talking and we were just getting to know each other. Second visit red flags started coming up right away. He did ALL of the talking. I barely said anything...not on my own accord. He would ask a question here and there but it was mostly to agree with what he said. Told me a few life stories. But here is what disturbed me the most. He said if I wanted my son to be raised to be a good person I can raise him Catholic, but if I wanted him to be a successful person I should raise him as a Protestant. First of all...I was NOT there for religious advice. Second of all, what brought the subject up was that my husbands mother gave him \"catholic guilt\" which was an issue in our marriage in the past. That's it. Through past experiences we actually have issue with organized religion. I told him this on our first session. Not atheists by any means, but not interested in joining a church either. So I had 1 or 2 more sessions after that. He repeated the same stories/advice each time. I brought my son on the last visit as I didn't have a sitter. Well, this brought up his parenting preaching. Then the same tag line came out of his mouth about Catholics and Protestants. That was it. I was done with this guy. I wasn't getting anywhere and frankly felt betrade. How I don't know but it made me feel uncomfortable, and I'm not a confrontational person especially at the time. I had made one more appointment, but after stewing for the week decided I wasn't going to go. I cancelled that day, letting him know that I didn't think that he was the right fit for me.  So he charged me the $50 session fee...that I still haven't paid...not even calling me back to find out why or if I was okay and found a new therapist, which yes I did. So now 2 months later I still can't get his actions out of my head...between not listening to my thoughts and giving me the same advice and telling the same stories over and over, to the religious comment. I guess I'm just venting, but I was wondering if anyone else has run into this, either as a patient or colleague. Thank you for reading. \n\nEdited for grammar and clarification.", "post_id": "6rbl7g", "comment_id": "dl3w8uo"}, {"question": "at some level she knows it's gotten away from her. if she asks for your advice, give it. otherwise, stay out of it.", "comment": "I've been seeing a girl from my classes who is gorgeous but she just is not in shape. She used to be skinny and she knows all about health because she studies nutrition. Are there any ways I can convince her to go to the gym or at least drop her unhealthy meals she eats once in a while. \nToday I made her walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator if that's a start haha\nShe has also already lost 10 pounds based off her dieting I noticed a lot of her clothes don't fit her anymore she just doesn't seem to be taking it too seriously. \nI go to the gym 6 times a week and she knows this I don't know how else I can motivate her", "post_id": "5ptlve", "comment_id": "dctq8br"}, {"question": "Ask them an open-ended question. If they respond to that open-ended question with a minimal answer then yeah, they're probably done talking. But if they take the question and run with it, then maybe they just didn't know how to respond to what you were saying earlier :)", "comment": " For example you had a conversation going and there was some back and forth but at one point they just kept answering with \"yeah\" or other one word questions for example, say you are talking to someone about getting a new car and eventually the conversation starts to go\n\n\"Car X is really nice and it's good on gas you could probably afford it too\" \n\n\"haha yeah\"\n\n\" And I hear they are pretty reliable so you wouldn't have to worry about missing work at all\"\n\n\"yeah\"\n\n At this point is it pretty clear they are done talking and I should back off until they say something besides a one word answer?", "post_id": "2jrads", "comment_id": "clefkk0"}, {"question": "Please go see a therapist and remember there are people who love and care about you. If oh get urges to act on your thoughts please call 911. You c an also use 8002738255 or text 741.741 for help in a mental health crisis. ", "comment": "I have an okay life. Nothing great, nothing too crazy, just... okay. But in the past few months, I've started to have these constant urges to kill myself. \n\nI've kind of stopped caring about school and I've been to about 4 of my classes in the past month. I have this nagging feeling that my future is not going to turn out well, despite my parents constantly telling me that \"everything will work out.\" Life is speeding up. I waste like 75% of my waking hours playing video games with my friends. Days and weeks are starting to blend together. I'll pretty much be dead in what seems like an instant anyway.\n\nI'm not really sad like I was a few months ago (thanks to my good friend Prozac), but I feel empty a lot of the time. I don't really value myself or my life, and I feel like this might be one of my main problems. \n\nMultiple times per day, I feel this wave come over me and I think \"Well, I should just kill myself.\" It seems so alluring, especially if my future turns to shit because I can't get my lazy ass to even attempt to fix any of the problems I have.\n\nI probably won't even do it. But sometimes the call of death is so sensual, so beautiful, so freeing, that it'll most likely always be in the back of my mind.", "post_id": "7hf7o2", "comment_id": "dqqjxoa"}, {"question": "see a couples therapist", "comment": "PREFACE: we have been dating for a year and four months and things have been pretty great minus one memorable argument. My dad has been extremely sick for the last month(he is now officially in hospice) and it has been affecting my mood negatively.\n\n\nSTORY: The last month or so me and my GF have both been very stressed, her with school and work both full time, and me with full time work and my dad being in the hospital. When we hang out most of the time either one of us isn't in the greatest of mood due to random stress.  I recently had a really bad day and freaked out and put it on her, which we talked about and i agreed not to do again, which i haven't. She has depression and has claimed that has been hitting hard recently but wont talk to me about it, I attribute it to her home life(she still lives with her family) which she wants to get away from and I have been looking for an apartment for us to stay in but she doesnt want to do anything until she makes enough to split rent.  Today i asked her if she still loved me and she said to be honest, some days she isn't sure. She says that I have not been in great moods and it has been hurting her emotionally because of it, and she is tired of me sleeping too late on my days off.  I am willing to do anything for this girl, and she knows that, but right now I am just devastated. I am seeing her on Sunday to go to a state park by us, but what do i do? I am willing to go to the end and back for her but im scared she has given up on me and i dont know if i can handle that\\\n\n\nedit: formatting \n\n\nEdit2: she tells me she still loves me, but isnt sure if she is In love with me. If someone could explain that too I would appreciate it", "post_id": "61dztf", "comment_id": "dfe0j18"}, {"question": "Therapist here\u2014 if my clients always love to come see me then I am not doing my job :)", "comment": "I thought I was gonna enjoy therapy, tell her all my emotions and get better but how I was wrong... she\u2019s a good therapist I like her nothing wrong with her. I just find it extremely stressful all the questions that I struggle to answer I don\u2019t wanna go anymore and I definitely don\u2019t want to go out! I just want it to go away I fed up of everything\n\nEdit: thank you for all your replies! \u2764\ufe0f", "post_id": "e3ekba", "comment_id": "f93ohgk"}, {"question": "summary tl;dr", "comment": "I'm [26/F] and my boyfriend is [27/M].  I've been having some issues with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half and moved in together 6 months ago. Of course when you first date someone the sex is amazing and hands will not stay tamed, but the sex dropped dramatically after the first year. I figured after 3 years then \"yeah that's okay\"; I've noticed he's been watching porn and may have tried some kind of sexting webcam chats with other girls. (Btw, is that cheating?) he won't tell me what's going on or if it's me, I'll gladly change whatever it is I'm doing. He won't speak up. I haven't had an orgasm in 3 months during sex, plus it seems like he doesn't care to satisfy me. When we do have sex there's no 4 play, just rips my clothes of when it's convenient for him and 5 strokes later it's done. We use to have 20-30 minutes sessions or sometimes all night; and just bathed in the glory of each other's naked bodies. So much passion we had. I'm rejected a lot when I try to initiate sex, so I felt like there was something clearly wrong with me. Am I not attractive anymore? Is he bored with me? I like to have fun in the bedroom. He is not a good communicator, anytime I tried to let him know how I feel, I'd get the cold shoulder. It made me feel dirty because I wanted more sex, just to have that connection with him. Even if it didn't last long and if that's what he's worried about then I'm okay with it; just still be considerate about my wants and needs. Or do it more often than once every two weeks. Ive also noticed that my boyfriend takes a lot of unnecessary showers. I may be paranoid, but some mornings he'll hop in (even tho he showered the night before) and I know he's hard and ready to go; but why masterbate when you can have the real thing? If I'm not around its cool I guess, just don't neglect me.  When it comes down to it you're either going to have great love making or a relationship, is there a way you could have both?  I'm lost for answers and I want our passion back. I want him to want me again. I had an idea about bringing in a toy, maybe before or after he does the act with me. Will a vibrator be insulting or will it turn him on and leave visual memories? If he's down I'd let him be in control. I'm trying so hard to keep the flame alive.  I'm going crazy!", "post_id": "5s0lt8", "comment_id": "ddbqqxn"}, {"question": "Omg. I\u2019m not a doctor. Used to work at a preschool infant toddler classroom. GO!", "comment": "His fever started at 103 on Friday and has been kept at bay with alternating ibuprofen and acotomenophine. It spiked to 105 3 hours ago. We have another 5ml of ibuprofen it went to down to 101 but has climbed back to 104.5. We have been told hand, foot and mouth has been going around his daycare. \n\nDo we sit tight for 10 hours for our family care center to open at 9 am E.T. or do we risk going to the ER? \n\nWe have cool cloths on his forehead and back of his neck. I read a fan is also helpful.\n\nAny suggestions are appreciated.\n\n", "post_id": "7wqn9z", "comment_id": "du2fn0s"}, {"question": "Have you ever been to a speech therapist? There are folks specially trained to help with stammers and similar problems. It wouldn't hurt to check it out, and it might give you a bit more confidence and someone to talk to, as a bonus.\n\nKeep up the jogging too! It's no magic cure but it helps prevent other problems too :) \n\nIt's hard when friends move away, happens a lot at your age. I hope you get the chance to keep up with them via text, internet, discord, etc. Maybe even online games, if they're into that thing.They may not respond all the time, but it never hurts to send out a \"what's new?\" every so often. ", "comment": "18/M, over the last months I have been experiencing just absurd anxiety. I don't feel the way I used to, I have gained almost 20 pounds, I feel tired and joyless almost all the time. Most of my friends have moved and the few that remain, I rarely see because I'm so sad all the time. At home, it feels like my parents like my younger brothers way more than me, they just support them in anything, and I kinda feel like I have disappointed them, like I didn't turn out how theu wanted.\nSomething I have noticed recently, is a stammer, that appears whenever I speak to my parents and.my teachers.\nJogging helps, a little, but i just look forward to taking a shower and playing videogames 'till late, it would be nice to talk to someone though.\nThanks for reading, I guess", "post_id": "74ws18", "comment_id": "don96js"}, {"question": "be direct and firm", "comment": "Hi all my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 9 months and been dating for around 6. We are in a flourishing relationship and tell each other love you. We go to the same college and we both like to party. I am in a fraternity and she is not in a sorority, I say this because I am living in a frat which means girls and alcohol are always around. So that means she trusts me a lot.\n\n She has great friends that I get a long with but it does worry me because they are crazy party girls and a majority of them are single. We respect each others friend time by not trying to contact one another if possible when were out. We've only got in a couple arguments so far but that was due to me confronting her about a couple things that bothered me, which is now in the past and I believe strengthened our relationship. We both have pasts of getting pretty drunk and blacking out which doesn't bother me because its in the past, but I have caught her a couple times where she will say she didn't black out but won't remember most of her night. That is what bothers me. I want to talk to her about blacking out and how we should probably not be doing that while we are in relationship due to the risk of being taken advantage of or making a mistake. \n\n This is where I need help, how can I start a conversation with her about this and ask politely or without confronting her to be more careful about her drinking and I in turn doing the same? I don't think it's a good idea for me to be blacking out while living inside a fraternity due to plenty of girls being around all the time, and am hoping she feels the same way. \n\nThanks reddit.", "post_id": "6tu326", "comment_id": "dlni1ia"}, {"question": "There is an app call \"DUE\" that is pretty cool. It provides a simple to do item but unlike other apps the alarm will ping once a minute until you either snooze or complete the task. Helpful if you often miss reminders initially. ", "comment": "I have tried Habitica, but it doesn't alert me to my do tos and it won't reset at night (so all my checked off items are still checked off. I prefer an app that is interactive like an ROG where you level up and get stuff.", "post_id": "6o0uw4", "comment_id": "dke593y"}, {"question": "Rhabdo doesn\u2019t commonly happen out of nowhere, and soreness isn\u2019t a symptom without pretty severe muscle injury. What you describe sounds more like what your doctor thought: muscle or possibly nerve pain from some combination of strain and sleeping in a bad position. Yes, it can be very painful.", "comment": "**UPDATE:** Thanks everyone for the advice, I got my CPK checked and it's 205 - no rhabdomyolysis!\n\nAge: 20\n\nSex: Male\n\nDuration of Complaint: 24 hours\n\nAbout 24 hours ago, I woke up from a 4 hour afternoon nap with severe shoulder & neck pain (might have slept wrong). The pain just kept growing worse for a few hours, then plateued, and it almost completely prevented me from sleeping. This soreness feels really, really bad. I drank very little water yesterday, before taking that nap.\n\nI just got back from my family doctor. I told him I have severe soreness, he moved my neck around, and he thinks it's just a muscle spasm of some sort. He gave me an oral NSAID along with an NSAID cream. He didn't mention it could be anything like rhabdomyolysis.\n\nToday I drank 3 liters of water in a 16 hour time span in case it is Rhabdo, and my urine was never brown. However, I still suspect it could be Rhabdo because I simply never had this extreme soreness before, and I went on today with 3 hours of sleep total.\n\nShould I go to urgent care now to get a Creatine Kinase lab reading?", "post_id": "cz7fqs", "comment_id": "eywkqwx"}, {"question": "Don't make it a joke. Ask her to go out somewhere.", "comment": "So I was in a long term relationships and I recently split up and joined the dating world again.\n\nSo I had a work event at a really nice restaurant and invited a girl I've known for years but never really had the opportunity to \"get to know\". Anyways the night was really fun, I think she is actually really cool and would love to see her again.\n\nSo we ended up back at my place and everything was going as good as expect. I mean I'm not shy but i'm also not as confident as I've been out of the single world for a while but when we went to get down to the serious stuff I couldn't preform due to the alcohol. Anyways I felt super embarrassed but didn't really show it, she knew what was happening and just kind of let it go and we ended sort of cuddling and passing out. In hindsight I should have just played it off and focused on letting her have some enjoyment but in the heat of the moment I was a little embarrassed. Anyways my main concern now is how do I get over this?\n\nDo I let a few days pass by and ask her on another date? Should I bring it up casually being like do you want to come over tonight? joking about unfinished business from the night before?\n\nAny advice is appreciated, its a bit of a hard situation I put myself in - :P\nThanks \n", "post_id": "6dukjg", "comment_id": "di5gmek"}, {"question": "This is a really well thought out post.  I'm sorry your SO is going through all of this.  Depression really sucks and as you now can see IS much different from generally feeling sad.  \n\nThe decision to enter therapy and even to take meds is an incredibly courageous one.  There's still such a ridiculous stigma surrounding mental health in our country that to say \"Ya know what.  I don't care about that.  I'm going to do what I need to help myself.\" takes a lot of strength.  \n\nAs her SO, keep this in mind always.  You can help her, but there's nothing you can do to \"fix\" her.  She is responsible for her own recovery and is also responsible for the actions she takes that may be influenced by her illness.  \n\nWhat you can be is loving, supportive, motivating, without being a push-over or enabler.  \n\nI hope this helps some and good luck to you and your SO!\n\n[-The Web Shrink](http://www.thewebshrink.com)", "comment": "Just a heads up, I am going to talk about how I didn't think depression was real.\n\n\n\n\n**Backstory:**\nHi. I recently found out that my fiance is suffering from a depression. I didn't think depression existed because it was never in my life. I always thought people could just not be sad. And whenever I heard someone talk about depression the symptoms just sounded like regular emotions that everyone experienced and I thought they just needed to \"Get Over It\". I know that's terrible and I am so sorry I ever thought that. But I was an ignorant kid.\n\n\nBut now depression has entered my life through my SO. I still don't understand it. She explains how she feels emotions like shame and guilt constantly and struggles to find meaning in life. She used to be able to hide it from me. For years she would break down out of sight, like \"go for a walk\" and come back a few hours later. I know she was anorexic growing up so I thought long walks were just a habit she developed as a kid and that she just liked walking now. (She is a healthy weight now, she was upfront about anorexia so I could keep an eye out with her for relapse)\n\n\n**Whats Happening Now:**\n\nShe has started an anti-depressants and therapy. She seems to enjoy and look forward to therapy. But she is feeling ashamed of needing drugs. Her mood seems to have increased but it's only been a couple months so I don't know if it's progress or if she is just having a good few months and will crash later.\n\nWe recently had a conversation where she explained her feelings. It was a lot of guilt and shame. She is also convinced that she is abusive to me, when she absolutely is not.\n\nShe is a great person but is convinced she isn't. She has an amazing job, we have a nice place, we aren't \"rich\" but we don't have money troubles, and she has lots of friends/family that love her. \n\nI'm so confused. I don't understand depression at all. The feelings she is having seem to be coming from no where. \n\n**Why I'm Here:**\n\nI really just wanted to write all of this down to kind of wrap my head around how I feel about this. I started just writing it in notepad and realized that if I was going that far I might as well post it to see if anyone had any advice or had been in a similar situation and could explain what is going on.\n\nSo if anyone can shed any light on what I can do to help, or even just not make it worse. That would be greatly appreciated. \n\nThanks for reading and giving me a place to share.\n\nEdit: I'm in the USA.", "post_id": "7xt919", "comment_id": "dub27ua"}, {"question": "This depends largely on a therapist 's theoretical orientation.  You probably won't do much of this work with a CBT therapist,  for example , but might with a psychodynamic therapist.", "comment": "I believe there's theories of psychology that talk about how we're all driven by underlying subconscious drives and motives.\n\nHow much of modern day therapy is influenced by those theories? I know therapists ask clients a lot of self introspective questions(How do you think/feel about X, why do you think you think/feel Y, etc)", "post_id": "g2a2ai", "comment_id": "fnl1j3h"}, {"question": "I hate it... A great way to make everything slightly more complicated.  But, well, it is undeniably invaluable for keeping in touch with people I might completely lose touch with otherwise (and at a distance--aka the most comfortable way for me to do it).\n\nNecessary evil?  I use Facebook, I just try not to let it have any real bearing on anything I do in life...", "comment": "Has it been helpful in terms of communication? Social lives? Understanding of others/self?\n\nI'm a teacher candidate who works with children with ASD/aspergers. Currently working on a paper on this topic.\n\nI've also posted in /r/autism.\n\nThank you for your time.", "post_id": "uhjfy", "comment_id": "c4vikkz"}, {"question": "Remember that they're there for you, not the other way round.  Be prepared to discuss what made seek therapy in the first place and give a little background about how symptoms began.  If you feel like you're struggling opening up and it may take some time, let the therapist know that and they should be understanding.  ", "comment": "tomorrow i am going to my therapist for the first time. any tips?\n\nalso what is the best way to open up to a stranger? i wasnt able to open up to my own mom for 5 years. any Technics? ", "post_id": "9r0qpk", "comment_id": "e8d8epo"}, {"question": "Socially competent people suck at open relationships.  Good luck with an aspie.  Sorry for being a Debbie Downer.", "comment": "Bf has Asperger's.  He and I have been together for two years+.  We decided to open our relationship mainly because he wants to experiment certain things that I'm really not into.  He's focusing mostly on his physical desire to have sex with other people.  What I've tried to explain but he seems to be somewhat unaware is that from those random sexual encounters someone somewhere is bound to become emotionally attached and expect more.  I've done extensive research about open relationships, and I fear that the stress of managing emotional needs from different people may be too much for him (he already gets overwhelmed with one gf, and I know I provide an emotionally stable environment), so I mentioned to him that it may be easier for him and me to actively manage our emotional needs in our relationship and make it flourish and just use this open status to act on impulses if they happen/fall on our lap instead of actively pursuing other relationships. We have a strict set of rules, and we will revisit the situation in a week to compare notes.  I realize I could have posted this in nonmonogamy, but I believe that in this case aspergers is a better sub.  Any advice on the situation will be appreciated.  Anything we can do better?  Thanks in advance.", "post_id": "1jds5n", "comment_id": "cbdun4k"}, {"question": "-Countless Gym Memberships\n\n-Learning Japanese on duolingo\n\n-The Blog that this username is for\n\n-learning how to play mandolin (I do play a lot of other instruments)\n\n-creating a board game and trying to get it published (created prototype, fell off from there)\n\n-finishing my book (first draft is 80% done, no editing done)\n\n\nThose are the things for last couple of years, but I'm sure there's plenty more if I think hard enough or go back farther.", "comment": "You know, those things you found or heard about and then completely obsessed with for weeks. Read every article, looked at YouTube videos, went through every review and experience blog, even bought the equipment and then gave up on rapidly.  Mine would be:\n\n- piano lessons\n\n- gym membership\n\n- bullet journaling\n\n- learning french on Duolingo\n\n- ordering my clothes by colors\n\n- gymnastics team \n\nI'm sure there's much more but can't remember right now", "post_id": "bs42k2", "comment_id": "eoj8zv2"}, {"question": "Therapist here. I wouldn't expect too much from the first session. Mostly initial sessions focus on building a relationship and understanding the problem. He or she will guide you with questions. If you are nervous say you are nervous. If you don't know what to say, say I don't know what to say. If you feel awkward, say I feel awkward. Just be honest and willing to participate and you will be well on your way! \n\nEdit: In response to your own update...I admire your bravery and courage! ", "comment": "What kind of things should I know? Naturally, I'm pretty nervous \n\nEdit: seems to have gone pretty well, I was largely open and guy didn't seem to judge me at all ", "post_id": "4tllec", "comment_id": "d5iamnr"}, {"question": "Standard dosing is 25-100mg. It's probably safe to exceed that by a bit, but if you're tripling up and feeling nothing, not even sleepy, it's probably not going to do much for you.", "comment": "25 Male 250lbs 5' 10\" Caucasian \n\nOther medications are Prozac 40 mg/day\n\nI was prescribed hydroxyzine for anxiety. The goal is to just take the edge off to actually relax and not feel like I'm on edge all the time. Doctor gave me 50mg tabs to get more bang for the buck on insurance. \n\nDo the effect of hydroxyzine amplify with taking more?\nHow much is a dangerous amount? I've taken 300 mg and not felt much\nIs it worth asking the doctor for something else or just upping the dosage until the desired effect is achieved?\n\nThanks for any help and feedback!", "post_id": "8aes2t", "comment_id": "dwy6b5s"}, {"question": "I wish you the best of luck. And hope you don't look back on your choice to stay (if that's what it is) with regret. It seems like you are willing to ignore some MAJOR red flags... \nIn the end, it's your safety & happiness at stake. Don't ask people for advice on what to do about an abusive situation and then be surprised when they tell you to leave. \nAnd to be clear - you do NOT \"make\" him do anything. He chooses to have explosive reactions. Clearly he could use some anger management or counseling for unresolved shit he has going on. \nNot that I ever would but I could say ANYTHING and/or slap my husband across the face and he wouldn't so much as think to hit me back. It's called self-control and respect. \n", "comment": "This only just happened so apologies if my post is somewhat 'babbly'. For the past year I've been living with my fiance on the other side of the world to my friends in family (for the sake of anonymity, let's just say somewhere in the Americas...) We made this huge leap after meeting the previous year when I was backpacking around this part of the world. As cliched as this sounds, we really did fall in love at first sight, a first for us both. From the moment we met I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and that hasn't changed. I truly love him with all my heart, and we are a great match. 99% of the time, we are blissfully happy together. Of course we bicker on occasion like all couples do, but other than that we don't have any major issues. \n\nHowever, there is one thing that troubles me. 4 or 5 times during the year we've spent living together, he has exploded during an argument and behaved in a frankly unnecessary way. Which brings us to last night... He has been told that he has to go away with work for the best part of 6 months, which would leave me alone here (as I said, on the other side of the world to where I'm originally from). Of course I knew what I signed up for when I came here - I knew it wouldn't be easy - but I didn't expect to have to be here for such a long period of time without him... We've actually been living in another city pretty much since I arrived last January, and have just moved back to his home town, so I don't yet have a job/friends/outside support system... But hopefully that will change in the not too distant future. Anyway, I digress. \n\nLast night we were both obviously very upset and frustrated by this news. I feel embarrassed to admit this, but I asked him why he didn't seem as upset as I was (the ridiculous thing is, I know that he was/is, but obviously we all express our feelings in different ways and he doesn't usually cry etc). I realise now that that was whiny and unfair of me, but what can I say, I was upset and frustrated in the moment. We were lying in bed when this took place, and all of a sudden he grabbed his phone and threw it against the wall. Then he got up, picked up the phone, and threw it again at the wall behind me, saying \"Do I look upset now?\"... :( If I'd had noticed him getting angry, then I would have stopped talking and left it, but he just snapped. \n\nAs I said, similiar instances have occurred maybe 4 times this year. Once he punched a wall. Once he threw a t-shirt at me. (I might add that these happened during relatively 'normal' arguments, not over a serious issue like lying/cheating etc... That's the thing - we don't have any problems, apart from this!)\n\nI'm not trying to say that I am totally innocent in this, and him subsequently blaming me (apparently I 'make him' do these things) has made me question whether or not I'm the one at fault here... But deep down I think I know that his behavior in these instances is not acceptable or indeed 'normal'. I know that I can be annoying at times and I don't always handle things perfectly, but I would never, ever do anything to hurt him and I can honestly say that I have never behaved in an aggressive way towards him. I would never. :(\n\nThis morning he left for work without saying anything. Then, he came back 30 seconds later to tell me 'I'm tired of you, it's not my fault I have to go away, don't ask me what you're going to do, I don't give a f*ck, I have to do what I have to do' and then stormed out again. :( (I might add that I never once said it was 'his fault', of course it's not, but obviously I was upset at the news and worried about how I will cope without him). It utterly breaks me to hear him talk to me like that. I felt like in that moment he forgot that it was me, the supposed love of his life, that he was talking to. I have felt similarly several times before.\n\nAt this point, I should probably mention that he comes from a very difficult background (broken home, lots of horrible arguments... He has admitted to me before that being cruel during an argument is very normal for his family.) But, things are now great between him and his parents, and have been for some time. \n\nI suppose the downside of loving someone so much is that it feels like the end of the world when you fight. :( I am 100% committed to him and we are planning to get married very soon. But I don't want this to happen again if possible. The problem is, he doesn't seem to think he has a problem. I guess what I'm looking for is another person's perspective on all of this. Am I somehow to blame for these outbursts? Or does he have a problem? Or, am I making a huge deal out of nothing? As I said, we are so happy 99% of the time, and 99% of the time he treats me so wonderfully. The last thing I want to do is paint a picture of him as some kind of abusive arsehole, because he is a truly good, kind, gentle person... But I think he does have a problem with his temper that almost certainly stems from his difficult past.\n\nI don't feel able to talk to my friends and family back home about this, because I don't want to worry them, and I feel so loyal to him that I don't want to tell anyone about this stuff. I just want an outside perspective. What can I do to make this better? \n", "post_id": "2s5pdx", "comment_id": "cnnf0xi"}, {"question": "I would agree with switching psychiatrists and find one who specializes in ADHD. Sure, some ADHD meds might make you more anxious, but the right one may calm you down if you do in fact have ADHD. If your psychiatrist doesn\u2019t know this, it is a good thing for him to not be prescribing these medications to you because he is undereducated about the diagnosis. You\u2019ll have a better time with a specialist I think. ", "comment": "I'm currently taking cymbalta and wellbutrin for my anxiety and depression. \n\nI go to a clinic which has high turnover apparently because I've had 3 psychiatrists and the most recent one is leaving and a new one is coming in.\n\nEvery time I bring up my ADD and how many problems it gives me, there are a few specific reasons why they don't want to give it to me:\n\n* ADD meds would just make my anxiety worse.\n* ADD meds don't make much of a difference anyway, it wouldn't be worth it.\n* The wellbutrin should be helping a bit with that.\n\nI mean wellbutrin is great and all but I am CONSTANTLY forgetful, always in a fog, my attention span is NON-EXISTENT.\n\nI browse this sub a lot and when I see people talking about meds making their lives easier, it gives me so much hope. Why am I having such an issue getting help with mine? ", "post_id": "aabvad", "comment_id": "ecqnaqr"}, {"question": "Quit the weed. THC can be psychotogenic. You need to figure out if your symptoms are related to THC or to some underlying illness. \n\nModern weed bears little resemblance to weed in the 60s-70s. It is very strong and can have very negative psychiatric effects.\n\nCBD, on the other hand, MIGHT be beneficial for a number of conditions. We need more studies, more evidence.", "comment": "I've been using weed for about a year now every couple weeks, with consistent dosage and strain (edibles), but for some reason I have been getting worse lately. I have been becoming increasingly more paranoid, have more auditory hallucinations, and am having delusions while high. I kind of thought this was normal for the \"high experience\" but now I'm not so sure. When I'm sober I have these symptoms sometimes, but they usually aren't strong enough for me to act on or believe in them. Recently, they've been getting stronger. I talked to my psychiatrist about it because last time I got high I believed I was dead. I don't want to get into detail because it is really distressing. I believed this for about a day, but it keeps coming up while sober.\n\nMy psychiatrist told me to stop using weed, which was a shock to me for some reason. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, I thought he would tell me to use less or to switch strains or something. I've spoken to doctors about psychosis before (before I started using weed), but they never really took it seriously because I had enough insight to know things were not true/real.\n\nHe mentioned that because of my family history I could have a vulnerability to psychosis. I'm on antipsychotics (3+ years), but I thought these were just for my treatment-resistant depression. I haven't been diagnosed with anything related to psychosis (to my knowledge), but now I'm really worried. Is the weed the cause of all these troubles, or do I have an underlying problem that weed exacerbates? Does anybody else have similar experiences?\n\nedit// spelling", "post_id": "coqqk7", "comment_id": "ewkthme"}, {"question": "Thank you. I think that is a good strategy alright. ", "comment": "Gently place the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb on both hands with the other fingers gently outstretched.\n\nYou've probably seen people do this during meditation. This activates a calming, relaxing sensation to your body and mind. It actually works! Try it right now for 5 minutes.\n\nYou can do this whenever you want for as long as you want. Please leave feedback and let me know how this works for you :)", "post_id": "94f4qp", "comment_id": "e3laal1"}, {"question": "As I think has already been brought up, there's no obligation to take an antidepressant. It's reasonable to continue with psychotherapy alone. Medication plus therapy on average tends to be more effective and have more durable effect than just one or the other. The question is whether it would be helpful, on balance. The overall evidence is yes, but it's not overwhelmingly strong evidence, and your individual experience can be different.\n\nThe one thing I would bring up is the fear that you don't want to mess with your brain chemistry. In reality, everything we do alters our brains. Therapy alters brains in a way that can be seen on neuroimaging like fMRI; it actually looks very much like taking antidepressants (when both work). If you want to feel different, you need your brain to be different, whether that's through what you do, medication, or both.", "comment": " \n\n* 24\n* Male\n* 6'1\n* 160 lbs\n* White\n* 8 months\n* USA, Texas, my brain.\n* Major Depressive Disorder or MDD.\n* No current medication, previously on Lexapro. \n\n​\n\nHi everyone, so I've been considering whether or not to go on medication for Major Depressive Disorder. I've talked to the psychologists at health and science center in my city and they recommend it. But my talk therapist that I see semi-regularly says that it is all up to me whether I want to take the medication or not due to me being functional.\n\n​\n\nA little backstory. Back in October of 2018, I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. We lived together, she moved out and I ended up having what I discovered was called a 'depressive episode'. I went to the hospital a few weeks after we broke up because I just didn't feel normal and I was crying and upset, so they ended up sending me to the ward for a few days and prescribed me lexapro. Just to clarify, this has never happened to me before, I have not been to the hospital for anything other than physical injuries when I was a child and I do not vomit my feelings onto complete strangers, especially to the point where they wanted to hospitalize me.\n\nWhile I was in the hospital I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. After I got out, I began seeing a therapist and working through my issues. In my history, according to the doctors, I have had 2 depressive episodes and I am at risk for a third one. One I had before the diagnosis and one during the diagnosis.\n\nI was on lexapro for a month, it made me 'level out' emotionally speaking. But I felt cold and unfeeling, I did not experience any highs or lows, I just felt distant or on autopilot when I was on it. I did not have any refills and they wanted to switch me to prozac after this but I did not feel comfortable with that.\n\nAbout my life: I work a normal 8-5 job at a small office, I'm 24 and live with a few roomates. I have my own car and my life is pretty stable financially speaking. The problem is, most days I feel very tense, I don't like my job very much and can spiral really easily while I'm there. I get to sleep easy and wake up pretty easy and I get about 7 - 8 hours of sleep per night. But when I wake up, I do not feel rested most of the time. I do go to the gym about 3 - 4 days a week and I eat healthy and drink lots of water.\n\nI do tend to have problems with thinking about suicide, as right now I feel like I'm having more bad days, then good ones. I do not talk to anyone about thinking about it, I try to not think those thoughts. But if it isn't that, I tend to have excessive guilt for past wrongs I've committed, especially in regards to having sex. As I do not feel I am entirely over my previous relationship.\n\nAnyways, I just want to feel normal again. I want to have regular motivation and not feel so foggy, tired and sad a lot of the time. But I am not sure medication is a good choice as I am afraid of some of the side effects. Not to mention the stigma that comes with being on something like prozac. I fear that it will effect my brain chemistry and that's not something I want to keep messing with. As it is I don't want to mess with my head, I don't want to lose parts of my personality even further.\n\n​\n\nTL;DR: Want to feel better but do not to go on prozac. Should I do it anyway?", "post_id": "bhbzu6", "comment_id": "elrly58"}, {"question": "I have plenty of high-functioning patients who take Lexapro for depression or anxiety. They do all the things you list (to the extent that anyone does) and Lexapro seems helpful.\n\nBut this is the sub for asking docs, not patients. You could try r/depression among others, but this is not the right place for your question.\n\nRegardless, good luck and hopefully a happier and less anxious new year.", "comment": "30/M. I might be starting 2019 off with my first anti-depressant. My GP has suggested escitalopram based on my symptoms. Over the past 3-4 months (out of no where) I have experienced a few panic attacks and very high baseline anxiety. I also experienced mid-level depression that has fluctuated to periods of major depression. \n\nEssentially I've begun to get anxious in normal situations (talking to co-workers) and have experienced a strong diminishment in enjoyment of normal activities (my job, sports, etc). \n\nI believe that multiple life events in a short timeframe have created this situation (marriage, new home, new job - within a 12 month period). \n\nI'm looking for any experiences that high-functioning individuals have had on this anti-depressant. What I mean by \"high-functioning\" are just people that are actually working full-time jobs, have a supportive family, have friends and interests outside of work, are eating correctly, are working out and taking care of their bodies, are not abusing drugs, etc. As the research I have done suggests that SSRIs work significantly better for those in a high-functioning state (but experiencing a depressed/anxious disorder). \n\nPlease comment on what escitalopram has done for you. \n\nSpecifically looking for comments on: \n\n* Anxiety \n* Depression\n* Motivation\n* Focus \n* Happiness \n* Extraversion ", "post_id": "abkbtu", "comment_id": "ed0xfuh"}, {"question": "If you ask, \"Can she/I be pregnant?\" the answer is almost always yes, but the likelihood is very low. Penetration without ejaculation has a tiny risk of causing pregnancy, and Plan B is a very effective way to prevent conception. Bleeding after Plan B is quite common.", "comment": "5 ft height\n42kg weight\nIndian citizen\nNo history of smoking or drinking.\nHer period is 12 days earlier than expected. We had sex on 10th day since the 1st day of her last menstrual bleeding. There were few subtle unprotected penetrations while we were making out.  I used condoms later, thus no ejaculation inside her. And she took a Plan B the other day, just to be safe. \n\nHer periods are regular, sometimes 5 or 6 days late, but never this early.\nShe noticed few blood stains on her underwear this morning. \nAs of now (12hours later), she said colour of her period blood is just like they used to be before, she also felt clots passing by, but flow is less than previous bleedings.\nCould it be implantation bleeding?\nCould she be pregnant?\nHow should we procced?", "post_id": "cvbsbu", "comment_id": "ey36wkz"}, {"question": "not trivial.  not abuse.  but problematic. have a big talk about what you can and can't do for each other. if you can't reach an understanding, go to counseling.", "comment": "[\u522a\u9664]", "post_id": "6z1c1l", "comment_id": "dmrpobc"}]
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